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mmso-notlikethat · 2 months ago
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peakyswritings · 1 year ago
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Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC
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PART VI
Summary: After the events of the previous day, Tommy and Nina are forced to come to terms with a truth they have refused to acknowledge for far too long.
Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, slow-burn, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s), time-typical misogyny, mentions of attempted assault, no proofreading, English is not my first language. This is set between season 1 and 2.
A/N: like in the last chapter, there are some dialogues which are supposed to be in Italian, which I chose to write in English for the sake of the readers (and mine, ‘cause otherwise I should’ve translated lots of stuff). In this case, it is the second dialogue between Nina and her mother. I’m sorry for the long wait, and thank you for bearing with me!
PREVIOUS PART
SERIES MASTERLIST
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Dividers credit
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The first light of the morning filtered through the lace curtains of the kitchen window, bathing the room in a warm glow. Holding a cup of coffee in her hands, Nina stared into space, the events of the night before repeatedly playing in her mind. Tommy’s touch still lingered against her cheek, hesitant and tender as he touched her with a gentleness she had never known before. A gentleness that made her lean even closer, eager to feel more of the bare brushing of their lips, that made her wonder what it would feel like if she allowed herself to melt into him. His strong body seemed like a safe space, like something steady and reliable. But that warm, unfamiliar feeling was soon replaced by the blast of cold that suddenly hit her when he moved away.
How could she have been so stupid?
She had let her emotions get the best of her, and humiliated herself for nothing. It wasn’t him that she wanted. What she wanted was to get rid of the skin-crawling feeling that Stefano’s hands had left on her, so she had clung to the first person who had offered her a hint of safety and comfort. What a fool she had been, for forgetting that the only person who could ever bring her safety and comfort was herself. For letting Stefano mess her up once again. It was all a game of power to him, he had played her like a pawn, and she had fallen for it. Because Stefano did what he did to let her know that he could do everything he wanted to her, if he just decided to. With the blood boiling in her veins, she promised to herself she wouldn’t let him hold that much power over her, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of making her cave. She’d go on as if nothing happened, but without forgetting what he did. And when the right time came, she’d make him regret ever daring to lay his filthy hands on her. He had tormented her for years, tried to force her into a marriage, scared and threatened her in her own home, a place where she was supposed to be safe. He would pay for that.
“Sei già sveglia?” (You’re up already?)
Her mother’s voice pulled Nina out of her thoughts, and only then did she realise how tight her hold around the cup’s handle had become. She loosened her grip, a sigh escaping her lips as the pain of her own nails digging in her palm eased. Sinking lower in her seat, she fixed her gaze upon a crack in the wooden table, well aware that she couldn’t escape Maria Ferrante’s ever-observant eye. “Sono andata a letto presto, ieri.” (I went to bed early, yesterday.)
The older woman walked further into the kitchen, squinting her eyes as if she had spotted something. Still carefully avoiding her gaze, Nina watched her get closer from under her lashes, until she stopped right in front of her. She let out a groan as her mother took ahold of her chin to get a better look at her face. “Che hai in faccia?” (What’s that?)
Nina gulped, her mind trying to find an excuse for the scratch that Stefano had left when he had dug his fingernails in her cheek. “È stato Winston,” she professed, turning her head to free herself from her mother’s grip. (It was Winston.)
The woman mumbled some curses towards the poor animal that, for once, was actually innocent.
“È stata colpa mia,” Nina quickly added. “L’ho fatto arrabbiare.” (It was my fault, I made him angry.)
Maria Ferrante pursed her lips in disapproval, and a frown appeared on those once beautiful features, which had started to wither way too soon under the weight of the years and of a life devoted to caring for others and never herself.
Nina had to restrain herself from breathing a sigh of relief when her mother walked over to the cupboard, letting the matter drop. But as she watched her bustling about to make breakfast for everyone, she was overwhelmed by a mounting sense of unease. It was a familiar feeling, one that had been accompanying her for as long as she could remember, yet she had never been able to figure it out. It usually rose without warning, making her head spin, sending her into a state of distress that made her feel physically sick, and she got the impression there was something deeply wrong with her life. After years of dealing with it, she had found a pattern, and she had realised that most of the times - although not always - it was connected to her mother.
All her life, Nina had feared to become like her. Always silent, always compliant as she let her husband and sons treat her like a slave, pretending not to notice the way they unconsciously looked down on her - because she was not clever, she was ignorant, she wasn’t even able to read or write. She was a wife and a mother before being a person. They loved her, but they loved her like something that belonged to them. And deep down, Nina knew she was loved the same way.
She knew the opinion they had of her was not that distant from the one they had of her mother. It didn’t matter that she had finished school, it didn’t matter how much she kept on studying and learning on her own, it didn’t matter how much she tried to prove that she was capable. She was always a woman. That limitation was the wall the stood between her and the world, and the more she tried to climb over it or walk around it, the taller and wider it grew.
To some extent, in her family, Nina was already her mother.
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Standing in front of the mirror in the room that had become his in the last couple of weeks, Tommy straightened his tie, his gaze scanning his whole figure to make sure nothing was out of place. His face was freshly shaved, his suit neatly pressed, his shoes polished. The only jarring note were the purple shadows under his eyes, proof of a sleepless night. Ever since he had left Nina’s room, he had been tormented by a strange feeling of restlessness. He had hardly closed his eyes, his mind relentlessly circling around everything that had been happening in the last month, and everything that was to come. But in that endless vortex, one thought emerged above all others. How was she?
The question nagged at him, making it impossible for him to shift his attention on any other subject. From the moment he had met her, Nina had seemed to him an unbreakable force. She was fierce, and untamable, with a fire in her eyes mighty enough to burn whole cities to the ground. That was why, when he witnessed her vulnerability, he was almost surprised to see that she, too, could be fragile. But with that fragility came a whole different wilfulness, a stubborn refusal to bend that made her even more ardent. More beautiful. And he wondered how many more sides of herself she kept hidden.
Almost a month had passed since his arrival in Sicily, and during time, she had slowly made her way into his head, clouding his judgment. Because he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about her, not when he was courting her cousin. Not when the decision had been made. But the events of that day had put him in front of a truth he had refused to acknowledge, a truth that made him feel something too close to fear.
Last last night more than ever, he couldn’t take his mind off her, off her scent, off the feeling of her soft hair brushing against his skin. Did she have any idea how hard it had been for him to pull away? That he had only left her room because otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to restrain himself any longer? That, had she been in a less vulnerable position, he wouldn’t have hesitated to do what every cell in his body was begging him to do?
Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to compose himself. There was no need to make things more difficult than they already were. He opened the drawer of his bedside table, revealing the velvety box that had been closed there for far too long. He reached for it and opened it to take a look at the ring he had bought along the necklace he had gifted Agnese a few weeks earlier, when he had declared his intention to marry her. The big diamond ring seemed to stare back at him, and his stomach clenched at the thought that it was time to do what he was expected to do. He snapped the box shut and placed it in the inside pocket of his jacket, telling himself there was no point in dwelling on things that had no chance to exist.
As he headed downstairs, the sound of Nina’s voice came to his ears, and his nerves started tingling with anticipation. How would she act, now? How was he supposed to act? Should he ask her how she was, or should he pretend nothing had happened, just like she had told him?
He could tell there was a whole story behind what had happened with Stefano the previous day, one that he wasn’t aware of, and part of him wanted to ask her. The other part, however, feared that she might close off again, and that all the steps forward that they had taken would be erased, taking them back to where they had started.
Before Tommy could cross the living room, Nina came out of the kitchen, too lost in thought to notice him, at first. But once she did, she stopped in her tracks, and an unreadable expression spread over her features. For the next few seconds, they just looked at each other in complete silence, waiting for the other to say something. The small scratch on her face caught his eye, suddenly taking him back to last night, when he had ran his knuckle over it with a softness he didn’t know he possessed, when he had got the impression that her cheek had been made just to fit perfectly in the palm of his rough hand. How close she had been…
“Good morning.” Nina’s voice harshly brought him back to reality, and it was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over him.
Tommy cleared his voice, struck by an odd feeling of guilt for indulging further in those thoughts. “Morning,” he murmured, recollecting himself. He had to remember where he was, and where his priorities stood. But it was so hard when the warmth of her body so close to his was imprinted on him, and when he could still feel the way her lips had barely brushed against his.
“I’m having lunch at Agnese’s house today,” he blurted out before he could think about what he was saying. And maybe his words had some kind of effect on her, but she was so quick to hide it that he figured he had probably imagined it.
Nina nodded, hoping that whatever she was feeling in that moment wasn’t written all over her face. She wasn’t even sure what it was that she was feeling, she just knew that she didn’t like it. And that it wasn’t right.
Tommy was going to propose.
That awareness knocked the air out of her lungs, and she cursed herself for feeling like that. It was wrong. And she had no right. She had to get a grip and take control of those emotions, before they irreversibly took control of her. Tommy’s icy stare seemed to be piercing right through her, making it impossible for her to focus and formulate some coherent sentence. Fucking blue eyes.
“Good,” it was all she could manage to utter.
Another heavy silence fell down upon them, and the words they really wanted to say - the words they didn’t even have the courage to tell themselves - were left hanging in the air, where they would vanish, sooner or later. Because the things left unsaid would never be real.
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In the late afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table, Nina tried to keep herself busy by reading a book, but the words seemed to vanish right in front of her eyes one by one. She was too agitated to read. According to what her brothers had told her before leaving the house earlier that day, the men of the family were currently holding a meeting Tommy Shelby at Agnese’s house. They had mentioned something about Sabini and the next moves, but she had only half-listened to them, her mind occupied by something else entirely. Looking out the window, she glanced at the house on the opposite side of the shared garden, the urge to know what was happening inside it growing with each moment that passed.
“He hasn’t proposed.” Maria Ferrante stormed into the kitchen, carrying a basket full of freshly-picked figs.
Nina blinked, her train of thoughts interrupted by her mother for the second time that day. “What?”
“Mr Shelby hasn’t proposed to Agnese,” she clarified, placing the basket on the table with a thud. Under her daughter’s disconcerted stare, she took some of the figs and walked over to the sink to wash them with hasty, agitated movements. “The poor girl’s desperate, she thinks she has done something wrong.”
It took Nina more than a moment to process her mother’s words, but once she did, it took her way less to realise what that might mean. For her, for Agnese, for the future of her family. As her mind began to race in an all too familiar way, her eyes quickly scanned the room in search for something to focus on in order not to slip into the whirlpool of scattered thoughts, but the clatter caused by the older woman’s fumbling with the cutlery only added to the frenzied state of her brain. Her heart pounded in her chest, drumming in her ears, and she found herself jiggling her leg up and down to ease the tension. Finally, her attention was grabbed by the clock hanging on the wall, and in the second hand her restless gaze found something to hold on to. With each second that passed, her heart decreased its speed and the noise in her mind quietened, bringing her some relief. Closing her eyes, she exhaled a breath, glad to be back in control of herself. “This whole thing was a mistake,” she mumbled, shaking her head.
Even though she was facing away from her mother, Nina could tell she had halted, because the fuss suddenly stopped. “What do you mean?” She asked, but before her daughter had the chance to answer, she placed a plate with some figs cut in half in front of her. “Eat.”
At first, Nina scrunched her nose, sure that the mere sight of food would be enough make her stomach turn. Ever since the events of the previous day, it had been too knotted up for her to feel hungry. However, as soon as the delicious smell of the fruits filled her nostrils her appetite awoke, and she was quick to take a bite. The sweet pulp melted on her tongue, and the sensation almost made her forget what she was about to say. “I mean,” she spoke again after eating the first piece. “That it isn’t the Shelbys we should’ve tried to form an alliance with.”
Her mother’s eyebrows shot upwards, and a disapproving expression made its way on her face. “These things are not our concern,” she reproachfully pointed a finger at her daughter, sitting on a chair in front of her. “Your father and your uncles are doing-”
“They’re doing all the wrong things.” Nina interrupted her, slightly raising her voice. “And it is our concern. It’s our life, we should have a say in it.”
“Your father knows what’s best for this family.”
“Does he?”
Maria Ferrante crossed her arms over her chest, averting her eyes from her daughter’s, and the silence that followed gave Nina the chance to go on. “This was a mistake, you know it too,” she added, lowering her voice again. “You might fool dad by pretending you know nothing about this business, but you can’t fool me.”
A strange glimpse crossed her mother’s eyes at her words, but it didn’t last more than an instant. Her features hardened again, and it was like that subtle, ephemeral emotion had never been there. “What I think is not important.”
This time, it was Nina who chose not to reply. It was useless, after all. Her mother had spent her whole life convinced that all she was born to do was to take care of someone else, without ever being able to make a single decision for herself, or voice her thoughts, and that conviction was too deeply rooted inside her to be eradicated.
“You’re a lucky girl, Nina. You shouldn’t forget that.” Maria leaned over the table, looking her daughter right in the eyes. “Take a look around you. You have a big, nice house with a big, nice garden, and a room you can call your own. You have never known misery, nor hunger,” she paused, her gaze becoming absent, as if getting lost in some old memory. She then leaned back in her chair, staring at a point in front of her. “It feels like bites. Hunger, I mean.”
Nina shifted uncomfortably in her seat, letting those words sink in. Although her mother’s stark expression gave nothing away, she sensed that some old, unforgotten pain was begging to be acknowledged, and she could almost feel that pain as if it were her own.
Coming back to her senses, Maria fixed her eyes on her daughter again, her gaze displaying a fierceness that appeared almost odd on her face. “You don’t know it. You haven’t even known it during the war. That’s all thanks to your father, and what he does.”
Nina watched quietly as mother got up from her chair, starting to busy herself with what needed tidying up. “He does what he does for us. Be grateful, and don’t question his decisions.” Her voice took on a stern tone, one that brooked no arguments, indicating that the discussion was over. “And eat,” she ordered, nodding toward the plate.
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Pouring the tea she had just made in a cup, Nina glanced at the clock. Midnight had passed a long time ago, but once again her brain was keeping her up, preventing her from getting some much needed sleep. She’d had lots of time to think, though, and the long, relaxing bath she had taken had helped her free her mind for a while. She could see things more clearly, now.
Her first fear had been that Tommy might decide to go on with the war, but after pondering the subject, she had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t an option. He had proposed an alliance because he knew he had no chance of winning that war, the attacks to his pubs and his men were the proof. Not to mention that if he were to decide to call everything off he would be killed on the spot. The Peaky Blinder Devil was surrounded by potential enemies, with not a single man by his side, and he had willingly put himself in that position.
Because he was not afraid to die.
That was the answer to all of her questions, the missing piece that had prevented her from fully understanding why her family feared him so much, to the point of not even considering to form an alliance with Sabini instead. Tommy Shelby was not afraid to die, therefore, he had no limitations.
But the more she seemed to be close to figuring him out, the more questions rose, and Nina couldn’t explain why, despite all her efforts not to think about him, her mind was so adamant on trying to unravel the mystery that was Tommy Shelby. She had started because she didn’t trust him, because she wanted to know what his true intentions were, because she wanted to try and anticipate his moves - something that the men of her family seemed to fail at. Now she just couldn’t stop, for what she had found was so far from what she had expected.
She couldn’t explain the deep connection she felt to him, a connection that perhaps had always been there, since the very beginning, when all she seemed to feel for him was spite. Even then, there was something drawing them towards one another, forcing them to keep on bickering and bantering, to look for those apparently insignificant quarrels and challenges. Then there were their secret meetings, those nights where time seemed to stand still, where he wasn’t Tommy Shelby, and she wasn’t Nina Ferrante, and they were almost normal people, and they were allowed to let their masks fall. She remembered every laugh he had drawn from of her with the stories of his childhood, every smile she had managed to coax out of him with her witty retorts. And she had learned he was not a Devil, like everybody called him. Behind his steely glare and the layers of ice that protected him like an armour, he was very much human.
There must’ve been a reason why every night since the first casual encounter they had left their rooms in the hope of just enjoying each other’s company. There must’ve been a reason why their eyes begged to meet every time they were in the same room, and their hands longed for the slightest touch. There must’ve been a reason why she was standing there, hoping he would walk through that door.
But that reason didn’t matter. Because in the light of the day, he was Tommy Shelby, she was Nina Ferrante, and he would marry her cousin. Soon he would go back to Birmingham, and she would stay there, going back to the life she had grown to despise. The seas between them would erase the invisible string that seemed to bind them together, and she would forget how he had made her laugh, how she had made him smile. And it would be as if her soul had never met his.
Nina’s heart increased its speed when she heard the footsteps that had become now familiar to her, and she had to remind herself that night wouldn’t be like the others. She had to push him away, restore the distance between them before it was too late. If they crossed that line, there would be no going back.
Silently, Tommy entered the kitchen. All the spontaneity their relationship had acquired over the weeks was gone, and he was unsure how to behave. He didn’t even know what had brought him there again, after he had told himself he had to stop thinking about her. Maybe the same thing that had kept him from proposing to Agnese.
Nina was standing near the table, pouring her usual awful amount of honey in her steaming cup of tea. Leaning against the doorframe, Tommy allowed himself a moment to admire the way the white cotton of her nightgown brought out her tan skin and dark hair. She seemed off guard, but he knew she was aware of his presence. Once she was done, she gazed at him, and her fiery eyes shone in the dim light, pinning him right where he stood.
“I was thirsty,” he explained after a moment of hesitation, walking further into the room.
Without saying a word, Nina took a glass from one of the cabinets and poured water in it. When she handed it to him, her fingers brushed against his, and shivers of electricity raced across his skin. With the proximity, he was engulfed by the scent of lavender and honey that had been plaguing him in his sleep, making him long for something he could never have.
He would never feel anything like that with Agnese.
Nina took a few steps back, breaking the bubble that formed every time they were close to each other. Tommy tightened his grip around the glass for a second, then placed it on the table. He didn’t need to pretend it hadn’t been just an excuse to see her. He searched for something to say, but Nina beat him to it, and what she said next felt like a stab through his chest.
“You should propose to Agnese.”
She wasn’t even looking at him. She was cold, distant, almost like the day they had met. Taken aback by her sudden statement, Tommy blinked, hoping he had misheard. “What?”
“You’ve been courting her long enough,” she said bitterly.
Nina’s words aroused a certain anger in Tommy, the same anger he felt every time he sensed that his hand was being forced. But it wasn’t just anger, there was something else with that. “It’s not your place to decide-”
“It is my fucking place,” she snapped, finally turning to look at him. “This is my family. And the more we wait, the more we give Sabini the time to act against us.”
Tommy’s expression changed, and all the annoyance she had read moments before on his face gave way to something else. He raised his eyebrows in a mocking way, taking a look around before shifting his gaze on her again. “So you’ve finally admitted it,” he he said, and the shadow of a smug smirk appeared on his face.
“Admitted what?” She seethed.
“That your family needs my family.”
Nina snorted, fighting the urge to slap the smugness out of his face. Even in a serious situation, he couldn’t resist looking for a way to get under her skin.
“That’s not the point,” she argued, averting her eyes from his. “The point is - it’s time to get this over with.” The more she spoke, the harder it became to keep her voice steady, but she did it nonetheless, attempting to sound as convincing as she could. Maybe she’d end up convincing herself as well. “And this…thing that we’re doing,” she paused, the words burning in her throat as she uttered them. “It has to stop.”
Something flashed across Tommy’s features, and Nina instantly regretted addressing the topic. A strange tension fell into the room as his face became serious again.
“This thing,” he emphasised, as if pondering her words. The way his deep voice echoed in the silence of the room awakened something inside her, and heat crept up cheeks. “Tell me,” he squinted his eyes, starting to walk in her direction with slow, measured steps. “What is it that we’re doing?”
The breath hitched in her throat, but Nina stood still in her place, forcing herself to bear his gaze. “Nothing.”
“Nothing,” he repeated, nodding to himself. He took another step forward, looking down at her with a hint of challenge in his eyes, almost daring her to deny what was right in front of them one more time. She was now trapped between his body and the table, and the closeness alone was enough to make his nerves tingle.
“Tommy, please,” she whispered.
God, had she ever called him by his name before? The way it rolled off her lips, along with her intoxicating scent and the feeling of her warm body - too close to ignore it but still too far away to feel it completely - threatened to destroy the last shred of his self-control. It was hanging by a thread, a thread that was about to snap at any given moment.
He tucked an unruly strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear, then his large hand travelled down the side of her neck, his thumb gently rubbing against the delicate skin of her throat. She quivered almost imperceptibly, and her eyes lit up in a way that ignited his whole being. And the thread did snap. His hand went to grab the nape of her neck, and he crashed his lips against hers in a desperate, almost harsh kiss.
But it didn’t take Tommy more than a few seconds to regain control of his instincts. He pulled away, sucking in a sharp breath as he was hit by the realisation of what he had just done. His jaw twitched when his gaze met Nina’s wide eyes, and an overwhelming sense of guilt - way more powerful than the one he had felt that morning - started to weigh on his conscience. Then, as if the contact of their skin had burned him, he let his hand fall and took a step back. He tried to utter an apology, but no sound came out of his mouth. For an amount of time that seemed to stretch into eternity, neither of them did anything, and the possibility of having scared her only added to Tommy’s feeling of guilt. But a second glance was enough to realise it wasn’t fear that was painted on Nina’s face. Before he had the chance to say something, she closed the distance between them, grabbing his face to pull him in for another kiss. After the initial surprise, he was quick to wrap his arms around her, bringing her closer, eager to feel every inch of her body pressing against him. Her soft mouth moved against his tenderly, with a bit of hesitation that made his head spin. Their tongues danced together as he took control of the kiss, and he felt like he could melt right there in her arms. And as much as he wanted to restrain himself, to handle her more delicately, he couldn’t. He had waited far too long.
Tommy’s scent invaded Nina’s nostrils, clouding her senses, and she feared her knees might give out as he kissed her like a man starved. It was passionate, sensual, and lit a fire inside her she had never felt before. And despite everything, it felt right. Nothing had ever felt so right like the feeling of his strong frame against her.
But it wasn’t right. In a moment of clarity, Nina reluctantly broke their kiss, her lips still brushing against Tommy’s. Catching her breath, she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to quieten the turmoil inside for her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
With great gentleness, Tommy grabbed her chin, raising her face so that she would look at him. “I’m not.”
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NEXT PART
Heart, Body and Soul tag list: @zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms @call-sign-shark @kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4 @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring
Tag list: @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys @lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989 @call-sign-shark @jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @areyenotfondofmelobster
Tommy Shelby tag list: @50svibes
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chrizbang · 4 years ago
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Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader
Genre: smut
Warnings: mature content, penetrative sex, swearing.
Word count: 2.544
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You were sitting on your couch, finishing something from work on your notebook. You heard your phone buzzing, it was Chan texting you, confirming if you were still coming. Your boyfriend invited you to come to the dorm to watch a movie with the boys. He suggested that you should bring clothes, so you could spend the night there. You were happy because spending time with Chan was not something that you were able to do often since he had a busy schedule. There was only one problem: you and Chan have been dating for five months, and it was the first time you would sleep with him. Not only that, but you never had sex with him. Not that you didn’t want to, but you didn’t have the guts to say something about it and Chan looked like he was taking his time with you. You answered him, saying that you were almost done with your work and you would leave soon.  After you were done, you went to your room. You shaved all you could with the little time you had. You showered and chose an outfit. Since you were going to watch a movie, you wondered it would be better to wear something cozy. Besides, the boys would be there too, so it wouldn’t make sense to wear something provocative. Still, you wanted to look cute for your boyfriend, so you chose a loose t-shirt and a skirt. You left your house, feeling butterflies on your stomach. What if Chan wanted to do it with you? You wanted it so bad but you couldn’t help to feel nervous. You arrived at their dorm 30 minutes later. You rang the bell, holding tight on the strap of your backpack. You packed pajamas for when you go to sleep and some clothes and lingerie for the next day. “Oh, hello Y/N,” Hyunjin said, smiling at you. He opened the door for you to enter and you couldn’t help to smile back. You entered the house, taking a look at the living room where they would gather when they would watch a movie or do something together. The living room had three couches, so everyone would have a place to sit, a rack with a huge tv on top of it, and a coffee table in the middle where they would put stuff to eat. You sat on the couch that stood between the other two. “Hey guys,” you said, complimenting Changbin, Jeongin, Jisung, and Seungmin, who were spread on the remaining couches. They complimented you back. “Let me take this to Chan’s room,” Hyunjin said, holding your backpack. “Where’s him?” you asked them. “He went with Felix and Minho to the supermarket to buy some snacks,” Changbin answered you. “Since somebody ate everything,” he looked at Jisung. “Hey! It wasn’t just me.” You chatted with them for a while. You always loved spending time with them, they would never fail to make you laugh. You heard somebody unlocking the door and looked back to see the rest of the boys, including your boyfriend, entering the house. “Hello everyone,” Felix said, raising the bag full of food. “Fuck yeah!” Jisung got up, going to help them with the bags. Chan approached you, you had your back to him since the couch had its back to the door. He put his arm around your neck and gave you a sweet peck on your cheek. “Hey baby,” he said. You turned around to look at him, feeling your heart flutter when you saw his cute dimples. You smiled at him before giving him a small kiss on the lips. “I’m gonna help them with the groceries and then I’m gonna take a quick shower, okay?” “Do you want me to help?” you asked him. “No, it’s fine.” Chan went to the kitchen and started to unpack the food. You tried to distract yourself by looking at your phone. One by one, the boys would gather in the living room. There was only missing Chan since he was upstairs showering. They were discussing which movie they should watch, not being able to make a decision. “I don’t wanna watch Frozen again,” Minho complained. “But we love frozen,” Jeongin said, pouting at the elder boy. “I know but we watched it a dozen times.” “Why don’t we watch a horror movie?” you suggested. “That’s a good idea,” Changbin said, trying to take the remote control out of Jeongin’s hand. The boys started to discuss again which movie was better but you weren’t able to pay attention to it anymore.
You had to take a double look when you saw Chan going down the stairs. His black hair was messy, still damp from the shower. He was shirtless, his abs fully exposed for everyone to see and he was wearing grey sweatpants. You choked on your saliva, trying to look somewhere else. There was only one place left for him to sit and it was by your side. “I’m back,” he said as he sat there, putting his arm around your shoulders and getting comfortable next to you. He started a conversation with the boys, and they decided which movie you were going to watch. Not that you cared, your attention was on something else. You tried to avoid looking at Chan but he was irresistible. He was manspreading next to you, his left leg touching yours. He was so close, his skin was warm and he smelled so good. You crossed your arms, trying to pay attention in the movie and trying to ignore the wetness you started to feel between your legs. You could see Chan checking you out from time to time, but you tried your best not to look back. You could feel your cheeks burning and you knew your face was red. Suddenly, he held your chin with his fingers and turned your face towards him. He was looking at your lips before he kissed you. It was a gentle kiss but it was enough to make you quiver. “Hey lovebirds, keep it down,” Seungmin said and Chan smiled against your lips. He gave you one more peck on the lips before he pulled away and turned his attention to the movie again.
You felt like Chan was teasing you. There’s no way he wasn’t able to tell the effect he had on you. He took his arms off your shoulder, now running his hand on your legs. You could feel his fingers running against your bare skin. You were craving him. You tried to ignore his hand as best as you could. That’s when you looked in the direction of his pants and you realized that he wasn’t wearing underwear. You knew that because you could see the outline of his cock. It was semi-erect, nothing that would get the attention of the boys, but it would definitely get your attention. It was the first time that you saw anything like that related to Chan. You closed your legs, trying to stop the burning you were feeling on your pussy. You needed him inside of you. Chan’s hand went up on your leg, now getting between your thighs, just resting there. You felt his skin burning against yours.
“I’m gonna get a cup of water, do you want one, baby?” Chan asked, looking at you. You had your head down, not daring to look at him while he looked at you like that. He was definitely teasing you. You just shook your head saying no. “I want one,” Jisung said. “Are you my baby now?” Chan joked, getting up and going to the kitchen. You took the opportunity to take a look at him, admiring the muscles on his back. His pants were low on his hips, he was magnificent. When he came back, you could see the movement of his dick on his pants while he walked. You immediately looked away, not wanting him to see you looking. He sat on the couch after giving Jisung his cup of water and his body was against yours again. He took your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. 20 long minutes later, you heard Chan yawning. “I think I’m going to sleep,” Chan said after getting closer to your ear. “Come with me?” You lowkey started to panic. You were going to be alone with him, in his room. Just the two of you. “Uhm, I think I wanna see the rest of the movie,” you whispered. “Aw baby, please,” Chan pouted at you. “Please, please.” You knew you couldn’t say no to him, especially when he looked at you like that. “Okay.” He got up from the couch and held your hand to take you to his room. “Good night everyone,” Chan said before you went upstairs.
Once you were inside his room, you looked for your backpack. Hyunjin left it on Chan’s bed. “I’m gonna put my pajamas on,” you told Chan and went to the bathroom. “Okay baby girl,” Chan said, laying down on the bed. You sat on the toilet, resting your elbow on your thighs and holding your head on your hands. There’s no way you would be able to be around him without going insane. He was driving you crazy. Sometimes you would forget about how attractive Chan actually was. Everything about him was astonishing.
You changed your clothes, putting the pajama you chose, that was just a simple button-up shirt and some cozy pants, and went back to the room. He was on the bed, one hand behind his head and the other was holding his phone, he was looking at something on Twitter.
You looked at him, seeing his hairless chest and you felt your pussy throbbing. “Come here baby,” he said, his voice sweet as honey. You went to the bed, laid down next to him. You were laying on your side, facing each other. Chan put one of his arms under your head so you could rest your head there and get closer to him. His other hand was on your hips, drawing circles in your skin. “I’m really happy that you’re here,” he said. “Me too.” “I know that we don’t spend too much time together but I appreciate every second I’m next to you.” You smiled, his sweet words making you feel loved. “You are so silly,” you slapped him lightly “What? Am I silly for appreciating my girlfriend?” his hand was now on your lower back, getting you closer to him as if it was even possible. He was looking into your eyes while you stared at his neck, avoiding his eyes. Your heart skipped a beat, he made you feel so loved, so special. “I really like you, Chan,” you confessed. “I know.” You rolled your eyes and Chan laughed. He held your face with his hand and kissed you. This time, it was more intense. Didn’t take long before his tongue was inside of your mouth, playing with yours. You couldn’t resist and you ran your hand on his chest, feeling his soft skin. You felt embarrassed about how wet you were, you could feel your panties sticking to your folds. Chan sucked your tongue and you let a soft moan fall from your lips. He lowered his mouth, going in the direction of your neck. He ran his tongue against your neck, licking and biting, marking you as his. You held the back of his neck, intertwining your fingers on his hair. He got on top of you, kissing your lips, leaving you breathless. He was between your legs and you could feel his cock, now fully hard. You were already panting, feeling the burning on your folds getting bigger and bigger. Chan’s lips were on your ear, sucking your earlobe. “You’re so fucking hot baby girl,” he said against your ear. You had to bit your lip to stop from moaning out loud. Chan started to grind on you, making his rock-hard cock rub against your clothed heat. “Chan,’ you moaned. He got up on his knees to unbutton your shirt, slowly, making you squirm because of the anticipation. "Please.” “Be patient baby girl,” Chan laughed. His dimples making his face look innocent when he had nothing but bad intentions on his mind. He helped you to take your shirt off. You were wearing simple lingerie, and you regretted not thinking about wearing something sexier. Chan started to play with your boobs, massaging one with his hand while he played with your nipple with the other.
You grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants and pulled it down, freeing his dick. You held it with your hands, pumping it. Chan moaned. You felt your mouth salivating because of his cock. It was above average, veiny with a pink tip. “So impatient,” Chan tilted his head, making a fake disappointed face. He took off the rest of your clothes, throwing them somewhere in the bedroom, you were too horny to bother. He got up, took his pants off, and went to the bedside table. He grabbed a condom, tore the package, and rolled the condom on his dick. Chan got between your legs again, rubbing the tip of his cock against your pussy lips, gathering some of your wetness. “You don’t want me to eat you out? I wanna taste you.” “Another time,” you were impatient, feeling like you would scream if he didn’t fucked you already. Chan smiled, loving to see you like that because of him. He started to penetrate you, going slow to give you time to get used to him inside of you. “Fuck, so tight,” Chan moaned. He started to thrust into you, making you feel every inch of his dick in your heat. You covered your mouth, trying to stop your moans. Chan sucked on your nipple, biting it gently while he was pounding into you, slow and deep. “So good,” you said, scratching his back. “You’re so wet for me baby.” Chan started to thrust into you faster making you throw your head back, feeling your orgasm getting close. “I’m so close, please don’t stop.” “Look at me,” Chan groaned. “I want you to look at me while you cum, baby.” He started to rub against the sensitive skin of your clit, making you moan loud. “Fuck baby, they are going to hear you downstairs. Is that what you want? To show them how good daddy is making you feel?” You weren’t able to answer him because you started to cum on his dick. You bit on your thumb while your hips were shaking uncontrollably. Chan kissed your lips, sliding his hard member into you, chasing for his high. It didn’t take long for him to cum, moaning on your ear. He touched his forehead against yours, catching his breath. “You are amazing, baby girl.” “You are amazing…daddy,’ you tease him, your hands holding his face while you kissed his lips. "Fuck,” he smiled, lowkey embarrassed. Suddenly you heard a knock on the door. “I said to keep down,” you heard Seungmin saying outside of the room. Chan laughed, resting his head on your chest. You couldn’t even feel ashamed, feeling satisfied and happy to be with the man you loved.
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levantea · 3 years ago
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Winter Falls | h.hyunjin
Pairing: idol bf!hyunjin x deceased gf!y/n
Genre: angst, grief, regret, death
Rating: PG
Warning: mentions of breaking down, insomnia, death, blood, accident
Word Count: 3.8k
Author’s note: Well, i am super duper inspired by this song so i am going to write something that is tragedic… if you are not comfortable or had trauma please DO NOT READ! i repeat, DO NOT READ! i do not want any cases of relapsing so ONLY read when you are ready for it!
Masterlist 🌨
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I still badly missed you,
I’m still in that place.
Gathering all my memories,
I close my eyes and think.
2 years back
30 outgoing calls.
No matter how many times you dialed your boyfriend, he still did not picked up.
You letted out a huge sigh before walking towards your house’s window and take in some fresh air. The season was turning from autumn to winter, and the wind started to become chiller.
Unsure since when, the relationship between you and Hyunjin had deteriotated. No more sparks, no more kisses, no more hugs, no more ‘mornings’ and ‘goodnights’, no more hanging out, no more staying over. Ever since he debuted, the chance of you meeting him reduced year by year, not to mention calls and messages as well.
You thought you were prepared for it, you thought you were able to cope without him physically by your side, you thought that you were able to silently support him behind his back, you overestimated your ability of being receptive towards a ‘long-distance’ and ‘secretive’ relationship that has lasted for 4 years.
You never complained, as you understood that being an idol is not easy. Your boyfriend became a trainee without any prior knowledge to dancing, singing or rapping, and his path towards debuting was more rocky as compared to others. Initially, he still regularly called you, even just a short while, to catch up on how you had been doing and updating on his side, never forgetting to give you encouragement even though he was suffering in his practice room.
That was what made you loved him the most. He is loyal, kind, empathetic, humble, whatever complimenting words you can use on him. You always anticipated his news on when he would be debuting so you could congratulate him for not giving up on the path he chose and the support you had always gave him, and that day came which both of you shared the victorious moment together.
After he debuted 1.5 years later, the times you communicated with him reduced day by day. He always texted you messages such as “sorry hun, im busy right now”, “sorry hun, i need to go for next shoot now”, “sorry hun, im practicing now”, “sorry hun, i am really tired today, ill catch up with you when im more free,” etc. You always replied with “alright hun, take care, ill talk to you again,” until you barely received responses from him in a week.
Was it because the love faded? Or was it because career is more important than anything now?
Your eyes went red as you recalled the flashbacks of when you both just got together and how you guys spent moments during those days, exchanging promises, gifts to show how much love you both had for each other.
But those were the days that were gone.
If i ever pretend to be strong, it only makes me laugh.
How many times will the 4 seasons pass? Yeah.
It’ll just hurt, even if i search for memories,
I’m only getting shabby, only scars remain.
“One last time,” you told yourself. One last time, you will dial him and if he never answer, you will put an end to it.
When did he last called you? 8 months back? With less than 20 messages within those period. You were tired, disappointed, angry, hopeless in this relationship but still trying to give in your best to maintain that last string of it.
You remembered yourself telling him before, if he ever faces any challenges or setbacks, or he was tired, or he no longer feel the same way as he did initially for you, to tell you straight away so you could give your last wishes before parting.
There is no point hanging onto a relationship that has no communication occured or pure avoidance of conflicts. It takes 2 hands to clap, if one party doesn’t put in effort, it will be worthless to cling onto someone who don’t put you in their heart.
Dialing baby🪄🥰…
“Hi this is Hyunjin, i am currently busy right now, if you have any important messages, do leave in the voice mail and i will get back to you soon, have a great day!” a recorded voice of his sounded in your ears.
Chance was up.
“Hi hun, well, im not sure when to start from, but yea, i hope you have been doing fine. When was the last time we talked through call? If i didn’t remember wrongly, it was 8 months back? Well, I don’t want to be naggy here, but i hoped that, you have been staying safe and healthy, hydrating yourself, remember to wear more clothes as the weather is getting colder. I have tidied up your house, everything in place so that you will not forget or misplace them. I will leave the keys below the carpet, as usual, remember to pick them up when you reached here, take care and… don’t find me anymore,” your voice trailed off at the end as you were on the verge of crying. You bited your hand to control your tears, trying to avoid making any sounds of sobbing which would be recorded in the voice mail.
You quickly pressed the red button before blasting out your cries that you tried so hard to suppress. The moment you ended the unreturned call, you kind of regretted for saying the last phrase, but you were so sick of the whole relationship that has went downhill.
You were not angsty because he was busy, you were disappointed because he did not communicate, or attempt to communicate with you to seek your understanding. You were never an attention seeking person, all you needed was explaination and reassurance, which you were sure that that’s what most girls required from their other half.
After wiping your tears away, you proceeded to the room that you both shared previously to pack all your belongings into your luggage. Thankfully you did not have many things to carry as the rest of them were at your best friend’s house, since your parents were working overseas 3/4 of the year.
Within half an hour you managed to gather all your things and before you leave, you gave a one last, detailed look over this whole house. The house that you both once spent most of your time in, the house that was once filled with laughters, the house that was once you guys shared worries in, the house that you guys showed affection in.
“Good things always come to an end so quickly, what a pity,” you hissed at yourself, letting out a sarcastic laughter to yourself.
And you left the house without looking back. And little did you know that, that would be your last time looking at that house.
Days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer.
On my cold heart, something like ice is melting.
I feel sorry for repeatedly freezing and thawing.
Have you lost your warmth? Well…
“Hyunjin, y/n left a voice mail for you though,” Changbin happened to walk past his phone that was placed on the table in the makeup room that all of the members shared.
They were preparing for their comeback after they won kingdom so they were all busy with shooting and other preparations for it.
Hyunjin who just finished his part walked in and over to Changbin, who was holding onto his phone, waving the lighted screen with a wallpaper of both you and him, as well as the voice mail notification floating.
“Oh, okay since im done with my part i’ll hear it now, thanks bro,” he took over the phone and placed 1 airpod into his left ear to hear the voice message.
Initially he thought that it will be the usual check in message and sharing of how your day went but as the duration of the voice message got longer, he sensed that something was off, and he confirmed his instinct when he heard the last sentence.
He felt that his heart dropped and started to palpitate at a fast speed that he never experienced it before, not even after hours of intense dance practices he had in his whole life.
And he realised that, his heart was not beating at insane speed due to his exhaustion, it was called anxiety.
“Hyunjin, do you want to eat- wait, bro, why your face look so white? Are you okay? You look unwell,” Bang Chan came in to offer him some cookies as they had been shooting for hours and he was afraid that Hyunjin may faint since he did not eat since start of shoot.
“Hyung, i think this time round, i’m really dead, like not kidding, i’m really dead,” he started panicking and his voice quivered. Bang Chan immediately putted down the cookies and sat beside him, patting his back and finding out what had happened.
“Hyunjin, i think, y/n is really disappointed this time… i’ve told you previously right, talk to her. i know you are keeping many things behind from her because you do not want her to worry, but what she exactly needed was your open communication with her… so what is your next step now?” Bang Chan sighed after hearing his younger brother confessed.
He nodded to every sentence that was mentioned by his hyung and he started tearing up. The more he thought of what he did for the past 8 months, the more regretful he became. Ignoring what his manager said to not dial anyone during work hours, he just went out of the studio to call you back, despite wearing thin layers in the rather cold weather.
The tables have turned. He spam called you many many times but you refused to answer, and even switched off your phone when you reached your best friends house. You explained the whole situation to her and she was being a really great listener.
1 week later
Season has changed. Temperature has dropped, just like your heart. You were counting down to the end of the year and there were 25 more days to next year. Of course, you still decided not to answer any of his phone call, despite it keep coming in everyday. On average he called you 50 times a day just to bet on a chance that you will answer.
After a week of cooling down, you felt that it was unfair to just ended things on one sided. It was not like he betrayed you or anything that stepped onto your principles, and you guessed it would be fine to give him a chance to speak up for himself and end things on a formal note, between you and him.
The next time he called again was at 9pm, and you decided to pick up the call.
“y/n? Are you y/n? Can you hear me? You finally picked up my call,” the guy at the other end of the phone spoke with hope.
“I can hear you. Any issue?” you replied him with a cold tone even though your heart and mind told you to be kinder.
“I-i-i, can we meet for a moment? Just 30mins, 30mins to talk, i promise i wont exceed the timing… please?” he was literally begging you. If only you were physically there, he would probably went down on his knees to beg you to spare some time for him.
“…where,when,time?” you kept silent for a moment before replying. You were contemplating if you should agree to it, but you still did.
“The same usual cafe we go to, tomorrow 4pm,” he quickly replied before allowing any possible rejections from you.
“Noted,” you replied with one word before cutting the call.
Being cold was so tough. You wanted to show how ignorant you were to him but whenever he speaks, you felt yourself melting and you hated yourself for being so weak on that.
Shall see how it goes tomorrow, you thought.
Hiding under a quiet sky, emptying my heart.
It’s easier to push than to forget, right?
Did i miss that time? Did i miss you?
The regret of not to knowing my own name.
Next day
You specially woke up earlier to finish your work before meeting him, as you felt that you needed to prepare yourself and master the courage to meet the person you loved and hated after such a long time.
You wore a turtleneck knitted dress that covered all the way down to your calf with a windbreaker over you. You also wore a beanie that was once given by Hyunjin when it was your birthday 2 years back. You adored the beanie so much and you did not dare to wear too often as you were worried it would worn off easily.
Thay day just felt like the day to wear it hence you placed it elegantly over your long brown hair. Taking one last check, you left the house after wearing your brown leather boots that was also given by him as christmas present.
Oh yea, Christmas was in 17 days… and how many Christmas had you celebrated with him? You once thought that you will be able to celebrate Christmas every year with him till the day you both have reached the end of your chapter of life but it seemed like, you will be celebrating without him anymore…
You came to the junction. The cafe was opposite where you were standing, and you saw a familar figure standing on the other side of the street waving at you. He dialed your phone which you don’t understand why as you would be meeting him soon, but you answered the call anyways.
“Y/n, I will wait for you here okay? And, look up in the sky, can you see the snow falls?” he pointed in the air and as you looked up, he was right. It was snowing, and it was the first day of snow in that year. You were still wondering to yourself if you would break the record of being the only one seeing the first snow for the year but somehow, you still caught it with him, even though being a street away.
“Yea i do, it is really pretty,” your lips curved up a little bit as you see more snows falling onto your handgloves.
Even though the weather was cold, but you felt your heart getting warmer because the snow healed your heart and, somehow he was there for you, even though not in the past 8 months.
“It’s green light now,” he reminded you softly and you made your way towards him. Suddenly, you felt that there were so many words that you wanted to tell him despite you trying to brush them off. As you walked closer step by step to him, the feeling of how you missed him so badly rised. You felt like sprinting towards his embrace but, it was too late.
You were so engrossed in looking at him and being on the phone made you neglected that there was a huge truck driving at abnormally fast speed which happened to collide with you so badly, that you were being knocked a distance away, leaving you lying in a pool of blood that originated from your whole body, especially your head.
It felt like the whole time was stopped. Cars stopped, people stopped. Everyone was taken aback by what has happened in seconds and some were screaming as they saw the huge amount of blood started to stain the road that was getting white due to the snow.
You were in awful extreme pain. You felt that your bones were dislocating from every part of your body and you felt your head aching and spinning so badly, and you couldn’t recognise or hear your surrounding anymore.
The only thing you could hear was someone calling your name repetitively in a familiar voice.
-
Hyunjin was in total shock when he saw you being hit by the huge truck and the impact of you being thrown metres away. His mind went blank for moment before he dashed to your side, to see blood started to flood around you. He felt someone was choking him and squeezing his heart so badly that he couldn’t breathe.
“Y/n? y/n? y/n? Can you hear me?! Please don scare me babe, please, i cannot lose you, i cannot breathe without you being right by side,” Hyunjin started crying as he saw that blood keeps oozing out of your body no matter how hard he tried to stop it.
He was in total depair and he was screaming for help. He couldn’t care less about his idol image that was built over the past few years. What he only knew was, he needed to save you.
You were slowly starting to black out due to the enormous amount of pain that you couldn’t cope and you were running out of breath. You knew that time was running out.
“SOMEONE PLEASE, CALL THE AMBULANCE, IM BEGGING PLEASE!” Hyunjin was in a broken state while trying to seek help from people and coping with the truth of you were being hit and the fact that you would be dying anytime.
He still got so many words that he wanted to tell you but everything were swallowed back when he saw that tragedy.
You tried to master all your energy to use your hand and reached out to his face, but you realised your hands were filled with blood, which was not supposed to stain his beautiful face. You wanted to retract it but he took your hands over and placed on his damp cheeks.
“Hyunjin, can you come closer? I can’t raise my voice,” you squeezed your words out of your mouth while trying not to cry, as it would made you hurt even more.
He leaned in closer to your mouth while soothing your hair. “Yes, i am here babe, i am,” he caressed your hand and placed kisses on them while his tears came in contact with your hand.
“Hyunjin, there were so many words i wanted to tell you, but it seems like, i don’t have time. I just need you to know that, i love you, always, and forever, no matter where i am, my heart will always be with you… what a pity,” you gathered all your last bit of energy to convey your feelings towards him, before you stopped breathing.
And yes, you left the world when the first snow came in that year, leaving Hyunjin alone behind. What you cannot hear was him unable to hold the heartbreak any longer and he was on his knees in a disheveled heap as his grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.
If only he could rewind the time, if only he could have talked to you more, if only he could spent time with you more, if only he could be the one walking towards you, the whole tragedy would not have happened.
And he knew that, you will never return to his side anymore.
I find you in my memory,
Holding your hand and walking.
It was a warm winter,
Everything was beautiful back then.
Aftermath
Hyunjin suffered almost everyday for the past 1.5 years ever since that accident happened. He was in the circle of guilt and constantly self-blaming for not cherishing you enough when you were alive.
He decided to declare hiatus and move back to the house you both once live in to get a hold of himself. It was so tough initially as he had to live in that house without you anymore. When he stepped back into the house, he couldn’t help but to reminisce the happy moments you both shared when younger at each corner of the house.
Especially the bedroom made him collapsed when he opened the door. He saw all the photoframes that lied peacefully on your study table and the sheets were neatly laid, awaiting for you to come home.
And he did, but alone.
He was also diagnosed with insomnia, as everytime he fell asleep he would always dream of you and ended up crying when he woke up from his slumber. He couldn’t count how many times his pillow was wet from the tears and he felt every second ticking was meant to kill him inside.
“Karma,” he laughed at himself.
It feels like I woke up from a long dream,
It’s snowing and time is flying.
Will the season where I embraced you come again?
I have to send it now, but it’s hard.
Now
Thankfully, his members were all very concern of him and visited him frequently to ensure he was okay and healing from the pain. The older members would always talked to him patiently and hear him out, and the younger ones would prepare little gifts for him to cheer him up.
And now, he managed to gather his courage and stand back on stage, facing STAYs who have been patiently waiting for him to come back. They were all very understanding towards Hyunjin’s situation and gave him encouragements through his SNS.
Hyunjin was able to walk out of the past and live on his life as an idol, bearing in mind that your heart is always with him, even though not on the same world. Whenever he felt discouraged or missed you, he will open the letter you wrote for him when you both first got together and he always keep in his wallet.
“Do what you love and love what you do. I will always be behind your back and support you. Don’t doubt your choices and you are the best, live your life to the fullest as you only live once.”
Moving on
Subsequently, whenever the first snow fall every year, he will definitely space out some time to visit the cafe that you did not manage to meet him that year and buy a cup of americano and a cup of caramel latte that you loved, placing it on the opposite side of the table that nobody seats on.
He knew that you loved corner seats, especially those that were right beside the glass window so you were able to catch the scenic view outside. He also knew you love winter season as it symbolises the end of year is coming and new year awaits for both of you.
“Babe, today is the first winter fall of the year, did you manage to catch it?” He mumbled to himself and probably you who may hear it in somewhere he can’t see.
“I love you, and i miss you.”
I loved you, loved you, loved you,
As you did, loved you, loved you, loved you.
Again it falls, the snow falls,
We fall apart,
But our hearts never.
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© levantea — all rights reserved. No plagarising, editing, claiming as own without permission.
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babydollmarauders · 4 years ago
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Can I please request a imagine for Luke from Julia and the plantoms with 4 and 7 where the reader is tutoring a guy and he kiss the reader and before she can push him off Luke see it and feel hurt and won’t talk to you?? Please with happy ending!!!thanks!
Silent Treatment (ALIVE! Luke Patterson x Reader)
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Requested: Yes
Summary: After catching them in a predicament, Luke gives reader the silent treatment.
Pairing: ALIVE! Luke Patterson x Reader
Prompts: 4. “Why are you lying to me?” and 7. “Do you even still love me?”
Warnings: Mild language.
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You were sat at one of the long wooden tables in the library, the chair you were in, broken on one leg. Across from you sat a boy with medium blonde hair and brown eyes, freckles adorned his face and he had a small beauty mark on his left cheekbone, Thomas. Thomas was in your Advanced Placement U.S History class, which you happened to have the best grade in, and he wasn’t doing very well, so of course you were dragged in to help him. Currently you were about half an hour into an hour long tutoring session, the fourth of many to come.
“What is a common law that established the birthright of the eldest son to inherit the estate?” You asked, left hand clasped tightly on the flashcard, your left grasping a pastel pink highlighter.
“Law of primogeniture?” Thomas’ voice was deep, yet soft. His arms were folded on the table in front of him, his head lying on top of them. A small smile grew across your face.
“Yeah! See, you’re getting better already! You’ll have a B in no time.” You reached out to lightly touch his arm, attempting to cheer him up. You were glad when you saw him smile, the pink tint to his cheeks going unnoticed by you. “Only about 20 minutes left.”
“You know, I can’t thank you enough for helping me.” Thomas inched his chair closer to yours. “You’re really sweet.”
“Oh. Thank you, Thomas.”
“You know, I’ve always thought you were really pretty. And now that I’ve gotten to know you and found out how amazing you are, it’s only made me like you more.” He slowly leant in, which in turn made you lean back.
“Oh. Thank you, Thomas. But you know, I have a boyfriend.” You attempted to let him down gently, but it hadn’t seemed to have worked, as all instead of backing away, he scooped his hand behind your neck and crashed his lips against yours. Your hands immediately made way to his chest, pushing against it to try and free you of him.
At this moment Luke walked in the entrance of the library. Weaving his way through the isles of books, searching the empty tables for his girlfriend, to let her know he was here to pick her up. But when he finally found you, there you were, lips locked with Thomas’. Tears sprung to his hazel eyes, his breath caught in his throat. He turned on his heel, briskly making his way back through the library and out the entrance, leaving you.
Once you finally succeeded in pulling away from Thomas, you stood abruptly, your chair skidding away as it hit the back of your legs. You hurriedly gathered your textbook and notes, shoving them haphazardly into your bag.
“I tried to let you down gently, but since that didn’t seem to sink into your thick skull, let me try a different approach.” You pushed in your chair and flung your bag over your shoulder, backing away a few feet to give yourself some room. “I am not interested in dating a stupid, egotistical, asshole like you. I’m not interested in guys who go around kissing other people’s girlfriends and thinking its okay. Because it isn’t, and one day, that will come back to bite you in the ass. So, tell Mrs. Kelly that she has to find you a new tutor, because you sexually harassed your other one.”
You rushed through the shelves of books, and through the entrance of the library. Your feet scurried across the linoleum floors of the hallways, narrowly missing lockers as you turned, until you pushed through the doors of the school. Your eyes wondered the parking lot, searching for your boyfriend’s car. When you didn’t see it, you pulled out your phone and pulled up the messages app, quickly tapping on the most recent conversation, which happened to be Luke.
‘Hey, are you almost here? Done a few minutes early.’
After a few minutes go by and he doesn’t reply, you decide to message again
‘Babe? You on your way?’
After another 15 minutes go by and its officially been 20 minutes since you were supposed to be done, you finally came to the conclusion that he forgot and was at band practice instead. So, you started the walk to Julie’s house, figuring it was closer than yours, and that was most likely where your boyfriend and his best friends were. In about 12 minutes, you arrived and your suspicions were proved to be correct when you saw Luke’s car parked in the driveway. Making your way towards the garage/studio, you could hear the band practicing a new song. A smile spreading across your face, you opened the door to the garage and stepped inside, the band glancing up to look at you, they all gave you a quick smile before harnessing all their focus back on the song. Well, all except for Luke. Your boyfriend didn’t even glance your way, which made your eyebrows furrow and a pout to adorn your lips. You chose to take a seat on the black faux-leather couch, dropping your bag on the floor next to it and scrunching your legs up to let you hug your knees. You watched the band practice song after song until they finally decided they had enough for the day. The band took care of their instruments before exiting the garage in order to go to Julie’s house to get snacks. You stood from the couch, following behind your group of friends, but halting in your tracks when you noticed Luke was still standing by the piano.
“Hey babe. I texted you, but I’m guessing you didn’t see them since you guys were practicing.” Your feet shuffled against the concrete floor of the studio, bringing you closer to your boyfriend. But a frown adorned your face when you watched him take a step back. “Luke? Is everything okay?”
He made no move to reassure you that everything was okay between the two of you. Making your worries grow.
“Luke, please just tell if I did something wrong.” When the boy continued not to pay you any mind and instead exited the studio, you knew something had to be wrong, but if he didn’t want to talk to you about it right now, you would accept that and give him space. You picked your bag up off the floor, and left the studio as well, walking down the driveway, and slowly to your house 10 minutes away.
________________________________
It had been 3 days since the tutoring session, and it was now Saturday. Luke had still yet to speak to you and at this point you knew it was time for you to force him to speak to you. You grabbed your bike from your garage, setting your phone and wallet in the basket in front. You pedaled your way to Luke’s house, leaning you bike against the side of his house and knocking on the door. The door opened to his mother, smiling back at you. You two had always gotten along, she was like the mother that you never had, since yours left when you were very young.
“Hello Y/N, I hadn’t seen you in a few days! I was getting worried that you and Luke broke up!” She opened the door farther and stepped aside to let you in.
“No ma’am! Or at least I would hope not, considering he didn’t tell me!” You let out a light chuckle, but secretly you had really meant what you said.
“Luke’s in his room, Love.” You made way to his room, your knuckle rapping gently against the door. When the door opened slightly, you pushed it open fully before closing it behind you. You turned to look at your boyfriend laying on his bed, seeing his eyes roll lightly before he turns on his side, his back facing you.
“Luke, what is wrong? You haven’t spoken to me in 3 days, and it’s making me scared.” Your voice wavered slightly, and you took a seat at the end of his bed, next to his feet.  “Luke, please, say something.”
“Do you even still love me?” His voice was raspy, as if he had been sleeping or crying, you figured the former.
“What? Why would you ask me that? Of course I do. Or else I wouldn’t be here right now.” Tears pricked at the back of your (e/c) eyes, not believing that he would think that you don’t love him anymore.
“I saw you. In the library. With Thomas.” Yours eyes grew large, your breath getting caught in your chest. Of course you had planned on telling him what happened, but you hadn’t had the chance, considering he hadn’t spoken to you since the incident.
“I can explain. I didn’t kiss him. I promise.” By now your voice was shaking.
“Why are you lying to me?” He flipped over to face you, his eyes red and puffy.
“I’m not! I swear!” Your hand reached out to grasp his, but as soon as they brushed against each other, his pulled back. “He kissed me! I was trying to push him off. I told him I have a boyfriend, but he didn’t listen. And after, I told him to get a new tutor. I promise, I would never do that to you. I love you, Luke. I can’t imagine not having you in my life. I would never cheat on you.”
“You swear?” You could see the glint of hope in his eyes, he sat up and scooted to sit next to you.
“I swear. You can even ask Thomas. I was gonna tell you afterwards, but then you wouldn’t talk to me.”
“Okay. I’m sorry, I should’ve let you explain. I also probably shouldn’t have left you there.” He grasped your hand in his, you laying you head on his shoulder.
“I didn’t even think of the fact that you left me on purpose.” You chuckled and pushed his shoulder and joked; “Asshole.”
Luke grabs your wrists to keep you from pushing him again. Pulling you flush against him and pushing his lips against yours. Your lips moved in sync with his for a full 30-seconds before you both pulled away to catch your breath.
“You still owe me for making me walk a full 22 minutes by myself.”
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bobasheebaby · 5 years ago
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Grey’s Anatomy Prompts
I’m going a tad stir crazy, so I decided to make a prompt list of 80 Grey’s quotes I love. This may have been done before but I don’t care. It’s mostly angsty prompts and it’s long as hell. (Break at 15)
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1 “When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.” —Meredith Grey
2 “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he is not the sun—you are.” —Cristina Yang
3 “Your choice, it’s simple: her or me? And I’m sure she’s really great. But I love you. In a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” —Meredith Grey
4 “If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.” —Mark Sloan
5 “It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.” —Lexie Grey
6 “Don’t let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice, so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence.” —Meredith Grey
7 “Not everyone has to be happy all the time. That isn’t metal health. That’s crap.” —Meredith Grey
8 “Breakthroughs don’t happen because of the medicine. Real breakthroughs happen because someone is scared to death to stop trying.” —Derek Shepherd
9 “We don’t get unlimited chances to have the things that we want, and this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.” —Addison Montgomery
10 “And if you can't do it, if you aren't willing to keep looking for light in the darkest of places without stopping, even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed.” —Amelia Shepard
11 “Oh screw beautiful! I’m brilliant! If you want to appease me, compliment my brain.” — Christina Yang
12 “You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me.” — Derek Shepard
13 “The only time I don't feel like a ghost is when you look at me, because when you look at me, you see me. You see me. This is me.” — Owen Hunt
14 “It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose.” — Richard Webber
15 “You are my person. You will always be my person.” — Christina Yang
16 “It doesn't matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up. But maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.” — Alex Karev
17 “Please, don't chase me anymore, unless you're ready to catch me.” — Callie Torres
18 “Change … we don’t like it, we fear it. But we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn’t, is lying. But here’s the truth: Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes, change is good. Sometimes, change is … everything.” — Meredith Grey
19 “Intimacy is a four letter syllable for- here’s my heart and soul, please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy. It’s both desired and feared. Difficult to live with, impossible to live without” -Meredith Grey
20 “You can have the worst crap in the world happen to you and you can get over it. All you gotta do is survive.” -Alex Karev
21 Walk tall. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You loved. You Lost. Walk tall.” -Mark Sloan
22 "Just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they're horrible people."-Izzie Stevens
23 "I am woman. Hear me roar." - Miranda Bailey
24 "I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?" -Jackson Avery
25 “If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, stop accepting crap and demand something more.” -Cristina Yang
26 “You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!” - Callie Torres
27 I am not an ugly duckling. I'm a swan."-April Kepner
28 “Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big 'pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window', unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” - Meredith Grey
29 “I’ve had to give up things but what I’ve learned is that I don’t need much. I don’t need much to be happy.” -Arizona Robbins
30 “I need the day off. For drinking.” -Addison Montgomery
31 "It turns out sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who we really are." -Denny Duquette
32 “In the beginning everyone is there, but then they forget.” - Amelia Shepherd
33 "Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying." -Meredith Grey
34 “You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end.” -Teddy Altman
35 “Yeah we’re friends…I mean right now I’d probably say you’re one of my best friends.”-George O’Malley
36 “I’m just gonna feel bad that I made it so you can never love again” -Jo Wilson
37 "The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes." -Owen Hunt
38 “There’s a land called passive agressiva, and you’re their queen” -Derek Shepherd
39 “Let’s play a game of whose life sucks the most. I’ll win. I always win.” -Meredith Grey
40 “I take things personally. I get emotional.” -Lexie Grey
41 “Stop looking at my like that. Like you’ve seen me naked” -Meredith Grey
42 “Pretty good is not good enough, I want to be great.” -Cristina Yang
43 "Don't let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence." - Meredith Grey
44 “Let’s just make-out on the couch.” -Nathan Riggs
45 "Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop." -Meredith Grey
46 “Deal with your jealousy. Deal with your shortcomings. Don’t put your crap on me.” -Stephanie Edwards
47 "I know I'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past - I know, but I would never leave you. I would never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you.." -George O’Malley
48 “Sometimes you have to be a shark.” -Lucy Fields
49 “Don’t look at me like that. Like I’m damaged goods. I’m still me. I’m still here.” -Adele Webber
50 "More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better." -Meredith Grey
51 "More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better." -Meredith Grey
52 "For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything." -Alex Karev
53 "You can't be an ass to me all day and then expect me to give you respect." - Lexie Grey
54 “Some days, the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, when you least expect it, the world gets right again.” -Meredith Grey
55 “Shut up. Dance it out.” -Cristina Yang
56 “We may only be together five minutes every two months, but when we do we will savor every second. We know how valuable those five minutes are.” -Ben Warren
57 “There comes a point when you have to suck it up and stop whining and start living” -Callie Torres
58 “Please don’t give up on me. Promise. Promise me you won’t.” -Arizona Robbins
59 “Bad things happen, but you have to move past it. Leave it behind. The sooner, the better. Or it’ll eat away at you and stop you from moving forward.” -Miranda Bailey
60 “This is the way the world changes. Good people, raising babies right” -Catherine Avery
61 “The problem is we are human. We want more than to just survive. We want to love.” -Lexie Grey
62 "There's a club. The Dead Dads/Moms/Parents Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad/mom/parent’s died when I was AGE. NAME, I'm really sorry you had to join the club." -Cristina Yang
63 “I’m going to die because these people aren’t properly trained” -Derek Shepherd
64 “I believe if you were dead, the world would be a better place” -George O’Malley
65 “You think you broke me, NAME? You’re the one who put me back together.” -Mark Sloan
66 “I want so much for you. For both of us. So much more than this. More than being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free.” -Callie Torres
67 “Every kiss before the right kiss doesn’t count anyway” -Derek Shepherd
68 “The expected is what keeps us steady. It’s the unexpected that changes our lives forever.” -Meredith Grey
69 “Promise that you’ll love me, even when you hate me.” -Meredith Grey
70 "The problem is, fairytales don't come true. It's the nightmares that always seem to become the reality." -Meredith Grey
71 “How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I am ruined, okay? I am dead, I am wrecked." -Cristina Yang
72 “I didn’t like teenage girls when I was a teenage girl.” -Cristina Yang
73 “So you fight. Until you can’t fight anymore.” -Amelia Shepherd
74 “Don’t analyze everything. Just do it.” -Alex Karev
75 “Some lies aren’t lies. They’re love.” -Meredith Grey
76 “That’s where love exists, in delusional fantasies.” -Meredith Grey
77 "Friends are the family we choose." -Meredith Grey
78 "Don't ever date a man who can't handle your power." - Meredith Grey
79 "It’s not hard. It’s painful but it’s not hard. You know what to do already. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be in this much pain." —Miranda Bailey
80 “You’re my heaven. But maybe ... maybe I’m your hell.” — Denny Dequette
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samanthalightning · 4 years ago
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She's Got A Date-EoWells X Allen!reader- Part III
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*The GIF is not mine. All rights to the owner*
Part II
Summary: You headed out to have a drink with Iris, and after few cold ones, a realization dawned on you.
Warnings: None, besides alcohol. Drink accordingly, kids.
***
Iris invited you for some Girls' Night Out. You were reluctant to go out. The prison needs to be done chop-chop, so when 'The Mist' is apprehended, he'll have a place to rot in without harming anyone again.
And if you're being perfectly honest, you do want to go out, and talk and drink, but there are more pressing matters at hand. Much more than Iris' love life, and the game she chose to play.
Everyone left, except for Cisco who is in his own office. And since you don't have an office, shocking as might that sound with this place this big. You decided to stay in the cortex.
You like the solace when it comes to thinking. And dark places, weirdly. You turned off every light inside the deserted cortex, the only light illuminating the room was the display of Barry's suit and some lamps on the desks.
Nibbling on your pen, your feet up on the desk, you have been trying to get him off your mind. You had to leave the pipeline to cool off. It was hard doing something vital to the safety of people of the city and have your mind be plagued by something that revolves around your love life. It was very selfish. But you couldn't lie to yourself that it doesn't bother you; you're so distracted, and it's not the time to be.
You were pulled out of your reviere by a ding from your phone, thinking it's probably Iris, checking in whether you're still coming or not. You ignored it. She's being pretty insistent on going out; it means something happened. And it's Barry she should be pestering. You muted your phone for the sake of your peace of mind.
"Why are you still here?" Your head whirled around, taking your feet off the table. It was Wells behind you. You were startled, but not enough to make you jump or flinch. You didn't even hear him come in, perhaps you were just too caught up in your thoughts… of him.
"Why are you still here?" You were surprised. He disappeared hours ago, you thought he left without saying goodbye, because of what happened earlier. You would've done the same thing, as immature as that sounds.
"I want to see how the prison will turn out," he answered nonchalantly, moving beside you.
You straightened in your seat, clearly uncomfortable with his presence. You cleared your throat. "Well, I have to build it,"
"I think Cisco and I will be able to handle it perfectly fine if you go out for one night." He said, acting a little bit too normal.
"I know," you murmured. They're both adults and definitely much smarter than you, they can more than handle it, but it's hard to leave, but not
"Good. Then go out with Iris. Have fun," he insisted.
You brows furrowed, giving him a confused look. "Dr. Wells, I have to get—"
"It's okay. We'll be fine," he interrupted.
Your lips parted to retort, but he stared at you, eyes didn't even contain a hint of playfulness. You knew his eyes so well. And it made you more confused why he was pushing to go out and act like nothing happened, like you didn't just have the conversation earlier.
"Are you sure?" You questioned. Just to be safe, in case he was playing.
He nodded. He was giving you a seal of approval. You can't really disobey the boss, and besides, it might be well-needed. Just to get over what's been bothering you, and be more focused on work without thinking of Wells. It might be helpful. Or not. It's booze, you're taking it.
You heaved your chest in defeat with a grateful smile. "Okay. Fine." You stood up, and gathered your things and coat.
When you turned back to him, he was looking at you expectantly, you hesitated. You hesitated whether you should kiss him. He's still your boyfriend, and it's not the biggest fight in the world, so you went against every cell in your body that is so annoyed with him right now, leaned into him and gave him a brief peck on the lips.
It felt different, you knew the moment that you pulled away. It's blocked off, plain, just merely lips meeting— no smile after it like last night. You pushed the thought in the back of your mind and exited the cortex, you waved goodbye to Wells, and he waved back.
You sent Iris a text that you were coming, and she was ecstatic. And slightly tipsy.
You arrived at the bar. Hopefully, Iris isn't too drunk or has left. The cab ride price was ridiculous.
You stepped inside the bar, immediately welcomed by it's warm and bright ambience and the amount of large potted plants, and vines hanging off the wall was a refreshing sight. It's not so often you'll see that in a bar.
The stench of wood, bar food and alcohol filled your nostrils. It was loud and crowded; filled with conversation, laughters, and laughters, singing along at whatever the guy on stage was singing. Most of the people were still in their office attire, in their probably in their mid-20s to their late 30s.
You weaved through the crowd, looking around for Iris. You heard a shout, you didn't quite understand it, due to the noise, but you tried to make out of it as you heard it once more. Whipping your head around, you saw Iris by the bar, waving at you.
You walked to her with a smile on your face. She pulled you in, enveloping you into a tight, warm hug. You felt yourself sigh inwardly.
You didn't realize how much you needed it. The sense of comfort that you never had since your mom died. You crave it, but even if it's not as good as your mom's, it really hit the spot right now. Perhaps you were more upset than you thought.
You let go and both took a seat on the stool. You called the bartender and ordered yourself a beer.
She turned to you and asked, "How's your day?"
You exhaled sharply, while Iris looked at you expectantly. You had a hard time answering that. Well, to sum it up: Someone had died, there's crazy meta on the loose, and apparently he turns into a mist; Barry almost died, you have to build a makeshift prison; oh, and there are many things that you have to do, but you can't get your mind off your boyfriend and what he said. And yet, the last thing that you are is what you replied.
"Fine. You?"
"Fine," she replied.
You picked it up right off the bat that you were both lying, not only to each other, but to yourselves as well. After all of what's happening, you felt the need to.
"Cool. What's up?"
She shrugged with a little pout Joe does when he lies. "Nothing. Just wanna catch up,"
So you did. You talked about how work was the latest news in pop culture, whatever Barry was doing. You were two girls with secrets and if any of the topics touched relationships, romance or secrets in particular, you dodged it like how Barry dodges bullets.
The night went on. Hundred songs were sung by random people on the stage, and you start to feel the alcohol you start to kick off in your system. You two started talking about your childhood. About things you did, she did that pissed the hell out of Joe. There were a lot; you were a pain in the poor man's ass.
You faced Iris, head tilted on, as you placed it on the palm of your hand. Your head feels a little lightheaded, but you'll manage.
"Remember when Joe caught us drinking his beer?" You inquired.
A tipsy Iris broke into a grin, nodding. Oh she remembers it too well. "Yup. He was so mad. It was so funny." She giggled uncontrollably.
"Yeah, and we got grounded for a week," you retorted, taking a sip of your beer.
"Well, you helped us sneak it in the room!" She exclaimed, pointing a finger accusingly.
"Only because you said it tasted good!" You retorted.
"And you believed me," she smirked.
You rolled your eyes dramatically, taking a sip of your drink. In your defense, you were 14. Not that they were much older— a year, actually. But you do regret it. Because of being grounded, you missed a date with Logan Garrick, your long time crush. Guess you weren't really one for dates.
As the smiles on your faces faded slowly, the energy you two radiated simmered down. Your voices or stories weren't the only ones that matters; everyone, the noises, the place you forgot you were in started sinking into your senses.
You were both hiding from the truth and someone has to cut the chase, be forthcoming with it tonight or you're both going to go crazy.
It's not gonna be you. At least not yet. As much as you aren't fond of his choice, you just can't.
You might not know Iris like your brother does, but you knew her. You're not stupid. This grab a drink with little sis is just a façade. One of the façade you're both putting up, anyway.
"So, what's up— like really?" You asked.
"What?" Iris eyebrows knitted in faux confusion.
You gave her a sharp look. You're not sober enough to play along with her denial.
She snorted, brushing you off. You maintained your stern expression, she laughed at you for staring at her, testing how far she can push her luck and convince you. Her laughs trailed off and she stared at you for a moment to see if you're gravely serious. You were.
Realizing it. She sighed, defeated. She tore her eyes off you down to her drink.
"Is it Eddie?" You asked.
Her jaws tightened at the mention of his name.
"What happened?" You insisted.
Turmoil in relationships is not something that is easy to talk about, and it can be pretty overwhelming. You know it yourself, which is precisely why you know it's very important to get it off your chest. But you can't go on throwing out your problems without questions, so the closest thing to that is helping Iris.
"He showed at home while Dad was there," she started. You almost spat drink, looking at her with wide eyes, terrified. You worry that Joe may have found out and he did not take it well. "We got away with it, but..." she paused.
"But...?"
She exhaled. "But he said that keeping our relationship is killing our relationship,"
You stiffened. If that didn't hit you so hard. Your chest tightened, as you felt a pang of pain in your heart; you never thought you will relate to someone ever that it will hurt.
You inhaled sharply, struggling to keep it together as all the emotions are raging through you.
"Did you explain why you didn't want Joe to know?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I told him that Dad won't like it and he wouldn't support it, and he'd be very angry. He said he understands— but I know he doesn't, Y/N. I feel it. He isn't okay with it, and it bothers me so much, because it might threaten our relationship." Her eyes glistened with tears welling up in her eyes, under the light. Her voice was starting to strain. It shows how visibly upset she was with the issue, and it pains you so hard how you can easily understand and put yourself in their situation, because you are in the exact position.
"I don't know what to do. Do I keep it from Dad and jeopardize my relationship with Eddie, or jeopardize my relationship with my Dad by telling him about Eddie?"
She turned to you, confused and torn up; it was like a cry for comfort and advice.
You pressed your lips together tightly, as much as you try to keep at bay, the emotions surged, putting a crack on the dam of your tears. You swore to God that this day is a bitch. Barry should be here. He should be comforting the girl he's in love with, not you.
You were okay. You said you were okay. You were gonna get over it and you'll be fine, and now you're just questioning everything you thought you felt.
"You can't keep doing this to you or to him, Iris. You can't dictate who he's going to tell, because he's part of this relationship as much as you are. It must have felt so suffocating, and controlling, and he has to look at your Dad every single day, and it feels as though he's betraying him and—" you paused, realizing you were getting carried away. Your voice almost wavered if you hadn't stopped.
You realized two fundamental truths, and it hit like a freaking wrecking ball and Miley Cyrus was on it—one, Wells was avoiding the elephant in the room earlier. And so were you.
Two, you weren't talking about Eddie anymore. You were talking about yourself.
You felt the warm water pooling in your eyes. You know you have to take it down a notch or you'll burst. So you laughed, not that it helped.
"I guess my point is he's gonna explode, and you don't let it get to that," you told her, looking into her eyes, through her soul to prove your point.
"What am I gonna do then?"
You let out a breath, uncertain. If you knew, you would have a perfect love life right now. "I don't know. Talk to him, I guess. Work this out; compromise,"
Silence befell, the tension was intense and uneasy. You and Iris may never be bound by blood, but you're still sisters. And it became evident how you two have more similarities than being in a secret relationship, when you both turn your heads to side to hide your face. To wipe the tears that spilled and compose yourself.
After that, you both turned back, but still didn't speak. Iris seems to be thinking deeply, maybe considering your insights. While you were occupied with your own mind's thoughts.
"When did you become an expert to all this?" She joked.
You chuckled. "Since I dated Danny in College,"
She groaned upon hearing your college boyfriend's name. "Ugh. I remember that idiot."
He really was an idiot.
Debbie isn't your name, and you sure as hell ain't a downer either. You didn't come out to drink to cry about this. You weren't supposed to at all.
Tonight, you need to distract yourself from whatever you're feeling. Laying eyes on the karaoke, there was an instant ding in your head.
You looked at Iris. "You know what? Let's not think about this tonight. Let's have fun and we can worry about this tomorrow." You got off your stool and grabbed Iris' wrist.
Not having a chance to protest, you half-dragged her to the man in charge of the karaoke. You grabbed the song book and searched for a song. Iris did give you a weird look, obviously confused with sudden mood changes, but you shrugged it off.
That night, you sang, you drank, you laughed, and cheered so hard. You knew it was embarrassing, but you were desperate.
Each time you feel your eyes water, tears threatening to spill, or your heart aching, you distract yourself with another song or drink, or just pretend to pay attention to what's in front of you. You tried to make sure that your mind won't think.
Your emotions are off-limits tonight. You don't want to feel them tonight. Tomorrow, maybe, but tonight, you can't. It's just all too much to bear right now.
***
Damn. Almost cried when I writing this. Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you share it and give it some love. Thanks!
Part IV
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not-safe-for-bts · 5 years ago
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Terms and Conditions of Friendship {JHS}
I wish I had it in me to apologise for this disgusting smut, but I just don’t. I just... don’t. Also I wrote so much I had to split it into two halves bc tumblr hates long posts sorry
Warnings: swearing (it’s me), fuckboy!BTS, sexual tension with like all of the members, a road trip with 7 rowdy men, slight exhibitionism, teensy bit of masturbation,smallest mention of thigh riding, intentional (but not obvious) orgasm denial, Jung Hoseok being rude aF, fratboy Bangtan shenanigans as per
Summary: 13 has always been an unlucky number. Always. It’s just... written into the laws of nature at this point. So it’s no surprise that when you hit the 13th month of your - ahem - dry spell, you do the one thing you swore you’d never do.
Part 2 || Masterlist
~^*^~
Just as you think you’ve successfully made it through the hallway, a voice calls your name and you audibly sigh and turn to the owner of said voice. Jungkook has his head peering around the door from, looking at you.
“Where ya going?” He inquires.
“To the bathroom...” you trail off, hoping that he doesn’t catch on to the very obvious need in your voice.
“Why did you sneak off?”
“Because I didn’t want to interrupt you guys. Enough interrogation I need to go.”
You ignore any more words coming from his mouth, as you’re already practically sprinting to the bathroom. Fuck Min Yoongi. God, you’d like to. Why he chose on having you sit on his lap during the movie, why he had to keep flexing his fucking thigh every time he so much as shuffled, why he had to keep a grip on your waist was beyond you and now you were all riled up. Well... technically, you’d been riled up for the last nine days and you were nearing insanity. You know that it was around the time that you are ovulating, so of course your body is craving a little more than usual but... this is a lot more than usual. This is tons more than usual. And hanging out with the Bangtan Fraternity is not helping your case.
No, it never helped your case. Because all seven members are hot. Yesterday, Namjoon had appeared in the kitchen shirtless and he’s been working out for the last five months and he’s got some real nice pecs and a faint but still obvious set of abs and- you inhaled your orange juice through your nose and Taehyung had a fit. He couldn’t stop laughing and you made Namjoon smirk because that fucker knew he’d struck a cord by coming in shirtless. Way to boost his ego.
A few days before that incident, you had slept over after a party and Seokjin had been getting it on with one of the sorority girls (you think her nae was Rose or something like that) and holy shit, hearing his grunts and moans sent you into a frenzy. You’d never really had a thing for Seokjin but it was hard to face him the next morning, that’s for sure.
Right now, though, you are close to calling a male prostitute or doing something because holy shit you hadn’t had sex in thirteen whole months. Your last rendezvous had been with Jackson Wang, your then boyfriend who had promptly dumped you just two days after. Something about needing space. Clearly he needed space to fuck that stupid Taeyeon or whatever her name is. Whatever. You’re totally over it.
Except you really miss sex. You really miss sex. To the point that you’re currently on your way to the bathroom to maybe get one orgasm out of the way so that you can focus on the rest of the movie. Of course, that doesn’t happen.
“Ey, [First], hurry up, I need to pee after.”
“Hoseok, there is a bathroom upstairs.” You grit your teeth, turning your head as you near the bathroom door.
“Yeah, exactly. This one is closer. So hurry up.”
He’s in a pair of grey material shorts and a black t-shirt and somehow he looks better than models on a runway. He’s looking at you with an accusatory gaze. Why are you being so feisty?
“Wait are you going for a shit-“
“No-“ you cut him off, “I’m not!”
“Good well hurry.”
So, you slam the bathroom door shut and stand there for a moment. You stare at yourself in the mirror and mutter to yourself in an attempt to cool your ever growing body temperature. Your eyes are blown wide and there’s a rosey hue to your cheeks. You look exactly how you feel and you know at least one of the members has caught on to what’s bothering you.
As you run a hand through your hair, the door knocks.
“Come on!”
Fucking Hoseok.
You tear the door open, giving him a glare.
“You didn’t flush.” He points out with a disgusted look.
“I didn’t do anything. You put me off.” Technically it isn’t a lie. Hoseok gives you a weird look and tugs you out of the room so that he can go in. He doesn’t even shut the door properly. Disgusting.
Why are you even friends with these disgusting frat boys? You do have to wonder. Your legs are starting to shake a little. You decide to sit down in the kitchen, opting you stay away from the room full of guys for a moment. You need to catch your breath. You hear the bathroom door shut and Hoseok whistles as he makes his way back to the living room. With him gone, you could totally just go back to the bathroom...
You’re seriously debating it. It’s so tempting and Yoongi’s actions have caused a horrible burn in the pit of your stomach. Your guts are doing summersalts and your fingers are itching to relieve yourself.
You could totally-
“Oh, there you are!” A boxy grin greets you and it takes every ounce of will power to not scream.
What the hell has gotten into you? Since when were you so horned up? You seriously need to cool it.
“Yes, here I am.” You mask over the frustration in your voice and give Taehyung as much of a smile as you can.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah...” you turn your attention to the fruit bowl, turning an apple with your index finger.
“Everything doesn’t seem alright. You jumped off of Yoongi Hyung like he was hot.”
“Yoongi is hot.” You roll your eyes.
“You know what I meant.”
“Everything’s okay, Tae, I promise.” You look back up at him and give him another smile.
He takes one proper look at your face and it takes a lot to not call you out. He knows that if you wanted help, you would definitely ask and you were obviously trying to ignore your whole situation. Your lips are bruising a little from how badly you’ve been biting them, your eyes are clouded and blown wide, your cheeks are gently flushed and so if the expanse of your chest from what he can make out of the skin peeking out of your shirt. You’re horny.
You suddenly feel as though Tae is eye-fucking you and you cross your arms over your chest, awkwardly turning away from him. Both of you have grown comfortable with one another. You usually send for Tae in your times of need (aka wanting someone to platonically cuddle with) because he has expressed no romantic interest in you. There’s no chance it could ever possible happen. So, you feel comfortable with him.
But right now, seeing only just a fraction of how you’d look being completely ruined, Tae can’t help but kind of okay really want to bend you over the counter and help you out.
He clears his throat.
“Okay well... if you say so.”
You hum in response and then turn to him again.
“The movie is kinda boring so I’m gonna chill out in here instead.” You announce, voice suddenly weak.
“Okay...” he barely manages a whisper and turns away immediately.
What the fuck was that?!
Did you just get eye-fucked by Kim Taehyung?
You slip into one of the cool bar stools and immediately there’s a burning cold running up and down your exposed legs. The plastic nips into your hot flesh and you sigh.
The clock is ticking behind you and you can barely make out the sound of people outside. There’s a good 30-40ft of distance between the frat house next door and so you don’t have to worry too much about their noise. It’s mostly quiet and the sun isn’t on this side of the house. The room is still bright, though.
Another sigh leaves your lips after a moment passes. Maybe it’s the coolness of the seat, but you’re finally feeling a little better. You definitely need to invest in finding more female friends.
~^*^~
“Psst.”
You ignore it. Just ignore it. Maybe he’ll stop.
“Pssst.”
Again, you pretend not to hear, jotting down another note.
“Pssssst!” A finger jabs into your side and you finally cave, head snapping to your right.
You come face to face with some coffee coloured orbs which are a little wide and sparkling in mischief (albeit a little regret after your angry face turns to him), he’s got mousy hair and plump-ish lips and holy shit he’s kind of cute. You don’t let your face falter, though. This is the first lecture of the year and he’s already interrupting and talking?
“Could I borrow a pen?” He whispers sheepishly, “I left my pencil case back home...”
You huff, not uttering a single word to him as you open your case and practically throw a pen at him.
“Thanks...” he whispers and now he feels bad. It was a genuine mistake, though! He got a little busy with Jimin and the PlayStation and before he knew it, he had like 20 minutes to get ready and get to class and it’s a seven minute walk from the frat house to this lecture hall so he only had 13 minutes to get ready and- he kind of left his pencil case on the kitchen counter, “...I’m Jungkook by the way.”
You don’t respond. He doesn’t say anything else until the lecture ends and he’s watching you throw things into your rucksack. It’s very cliche - and trust, he knows this - but you are the first girl who’s not melted at the look of him and he kind of likes that? He likes that you haven’t given in so easily.
“I’m sorry about all that,” he begins once people start to up and leave. You turn to him.
“It’s fine. Keep the pen.”
And you’re gone.
Jungkook spends the rest of the day thinking about you and he feels so guilty. It was the first day! How could he forget one of the two things that are going to carry him through his university. You can’t have paper without pen! Okay, that makes no sense but, he still feels really bad. So he goes out and buys this lowkey expensive pen as an apology and he’s super early the next day. He catches you outside and tugs you away from the doors.
“I hope you don’t want another pen-“ you snap at him.
“No, listen, I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. It was totally my fault and I’m sorry for making such a bad impression of myself. Here.” Jungkook has never done the whole gift-to-a-girl thing before so he just kind of thrusts you an unwrapped box. It’s a pretty pen. A muted metallic rose gold. It also comes with refills.
Oh. That was sweet. But you immediately realise how much this must’ve cost him and you decide-
“I can’t accept this, Jungkook.” You offer politely, reaching out to give it him back.
“Please, I really want you to have it. I felt awful after you looked at me like you wanted to bite my head off.” He rubs the back of his neck, unable to look at you for a moment. You ponder. This is a really sweet gesture.
“Alright,” you sigh, “but you’re not giving me a lot of choice. Thank you, Jungkook.”
“You’re welcome...” he trails off so that you can fill in your name.
“[First]. I’m [First].” You give him a smile.
Before you know where you are, you’re being pushed through the cafeteria by Jungkook and he’s screaming out “Hyung!” And then six different guys are all staring at you. Jungkook introduces you to them, sits you down next to the one called Taehyung and takes the biggest bite you’ve ever seen out of Namjoon’s sandwich. This happens for the next few days until you start to willingly accompany Jungkook.
~^*^~
Three years have passed since then and you are now sitting in their kitchen trying not to jump the bones of the next one that walks through the door.
You think about Jungkook back then. He’s always had a little bit of a baby face, but back then he was still a little lanky so it was more obvious. He had a pretty weak build. Obviously, since then, he’s been going to the gym like twice (sometimes thrice) a day because he’s earnt the nickname muscle pig. Somehow you also know that he’s gotten stronger because he can “hold an entire girl up with ease without needing any support” (it was also the worst sex he ever had, so he’d not done it since). Great. Now you’re thinking about Jungkook holding you up and-
No. No, you are not going to think about Jungkook like that. It’s bad enough you’re sitting in here avoiding the seven of them like the plague because you know that if you have to sit on Yoongi’s lap again you’ll end up riding his thigh like your life depends on it.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Jimin’s voice rips you out of your thoughts about Yoongi’s thighs and you look up at him. He’s recently dyed his hair black and holy shit he is the epitome of sex on legs. He walks across the kitchen to grab a glass and turns to you for a minute.
“Hello? Am I talking to the wall?”
“Sorry,” you find yourself finally finding words, “bored.”
“There’s a whole Fast and Furious in the living room-“
“Yeah but it’s boring.”
“Tokyo Drift is not boring.”
“Yes it is. And the main character isn’t even hot so it’s not worth it.”
Jimin blows his teeth out at your response. Of course you wouldn’t want to watch a movie because the main character isn’t hot. He fills his glass with water and takes a swig.
“Well sorry he’s not Leonardo Di-whatever his name is.”
“First of all, rude, second of all I didn’t realise you guys missed my company so.”
“It’s nice having female company.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“You’re disgusting, Park.”
“Not as disgusting as the girl who blatantly tried to ride Yoongi hyung’s thigh like ten minutes ago.”
He throws the words over his shoulder as he leaves the room and your face explodes in red. Shit. Okay. You need to leave right now if you want to save face. You pray to god that only Jimin saw because you cannot emotionally handle the guys making fun of you right now. You need to go home, get your vib and go to town for a couple of hours. You’ll feel better.
You almost jump off of the stool in your anticipation to leave. Part of you wants to go and say goodbye to the boys, but you know you’ll end up coerced into staying if you do. They’ll text if they worry about you.
Your feet are moving towards the front door and you pause just before you walk past the living room. The door is wide open (typical Jimin) and there is no way they won’t spot you. Round the back it is.
Who would’ve thought you of all people would be sneaking out of the frat house?
It’s not under the same circumstances as the other girls but, you’re still sneaking out and you still kind of feel like James Bond so it totally counts. The back door (as expected) is unlocked and you’re pleasantly surprised to see that the pool is actually covered. The boys have finally taken heed after two and a half years of you giving them shit for not covering it over.
You’re so close to leaving when you realise your fatal misstep in this whole mission. Your phone. It’s still on the sofa next to Yoongi. Fuck.
Maybe if you found a way to distract the guys and lure them outside, you could just rush back in and-
“What are you doing?”
The sass in the voice alerts you to who it is immediately. You literally don’t know how to answer him bevause your standing at the side of the house, looking out at the street that’s so close but so far away, nervously biting at your cuticles.
“I’m, uh, getting some fresh air.”
“Yeah, right. You can’t just leave, [First]!” Seokjin scolds and he’s pulling you back towards the back door.
“But I’m bored!” You whine.
“You let Jungkook choose the movie.”
“Yeah but he gave me his puppy eyes and an extra mini-cookie.”
The movie apparently just finished because Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon are standing in the kitchen. You can hear Jungkook and Jimin squabbling in the kitchen and you’re kind of a little too embarrassed to see Tae right now. None of them pay much attention to Seokjin or yourself as he scolds you for trying to leave without saying goodbye. You apologise to him before excusing yourself to grab your phone. You pass Jungkook in the hall and he grins at you.
“Hi baby,” he blows a kiss.
“Suck it, Jeon.” You playfully scowl and make your way to your precious phone.
You clutch it up and look at your notifications. Just a couple of snaps from Hyuna. Nothing out of the ordinary. Jimin is lolling on the sofa watching you. He knows he was the only member that saw what you were doing, and Yoongi probably didn’t even realise what was happening until you’d leapt from his grasp.
“[First],” he calls out.
“Hm?” You’re trying to act nonchalant.
“What the hell was that? With Yoongi Hyung.” His voice is a whisper and you draw yourself close to him.
“You don’t think anyone else saw, do you?” For a moment your mind flashes to Hoseok. God you hope Hoseok didn’t see.
It may have been pointed out by Jimin that you have a phat (with a capital PH) crush on Hoseok. Whilst that is certainly not true, it’s also not not true. You definitely have a thing for Hoseok but it’s not a crush, per se. There’s the obvious, first, that the man is fucking gorgeous in every sense of the word. He must’ve been sculpted by the gods themselves because no one should have a jawline that sharp, or a nose that perfectly sloping and pointed. And definitely not lips like that. Plump to just the right size and form the shape of a heart whenever he smiles. Also, the rest of him, his arms (which you notice he’s been working on lately. He came back after dance practise wearing a vest and you almost creamed right there - Jimin didn’t shut up for like a week), his hands, his fluffy hair, his legs, that slab of chocolate-shaped abs that you want to run your damn tongue over-
Okay you have a thing for Hoseok. But it’s only physical. Anyone would be crazy to not crush on him. He’s gorgeous. He’s a an absolute beauty of a man and with being a dancer, you can only imagine how much stamina he has.
But he’s also the most good-hearted person you’ve ever met in your life. He laughs so loudly, he smiles so brightly and it’s all so genuine. He’s always been there for the other frat members and for you whenever you’ve needed him. He’s gotten up at 3am to console a sobbing Namjoon after his girlfriend broke up with him. He’s gone to the gym to help a small and fragile Jungkook work on his personal goals. He’s sat with you for hours helping you revise for exams. He goofs off a lot and doesn’t care woo looks, but he’s not afraid to cry in front of his frat members and you. He finds the dumbest things funny and he’s also the biggest scaredy-cat you’ve ever met and he’s just so... so Jung Hoseok. Everything about him is so inviting from his raspy laugh to his sparking eyes. He makes you feel secure in being yourself because he’s definitely not going to judge. Hell, if someone can go to all of their lectures for a day wearing just a mankini because they lost a bet to the maknaes, they’re definitely not going to judge you for dancing on the kitchen counter to a little bit of the Rolling Stones.
He, of course, is a fuckboy, yes. He brings home a lot of girls. You’ve been over at the house when you’ve heard “oh god-! Hoseok! Oh~!” and felt that pang of whatever the fuck that feeling is whenever he brings a girl home. But you’d never ever go that far with him yourself. Hoseok doesn’t want a full-time relationship. He doesn’t have the time for it. At least, that’s what he’s told you when you randomly asked why he doesn’t date. And you don’t want to be just a fling to him. You want to be able to hold his hand and show him off because he’s the best guy in the world. You want to sit on his lap while he studies and run your hands through his hair and reassure him that everything is going to be ok when he’s stressing over the smallest things. You want to go with him to Hope World (his personal studio for his Producing class) and sit on that little couch with the flower plushy and watch him tack tack tack away as he works hard. You want to go places with him and just him and have him all to yourself always. But you definitely don’t have a crush on him.
“[First] did you hear a word of what I just said?”
“Huh?”
“What the hell are you thinking about?” Jimin launches a pillow at you and you manage to catch it.
“Nothing, what were you saying?”
“I was answering your question. I was the only one that saw you trying to get yourself off on Yoongi and I’m fairly sure he didn’t even realise himself but - why the fuck were you trying to get off on Yoongi?”
Hoseok is laughing at something Yoongi has just said when he remembers that he was in the middle of texting that cute girl from the club a few nights ago. He reaches into his left pocket and then his right and finds... well nothing. Where’s his phone?
He looks around on the counter and sees only Namjoon’s phone and Seokjin’s keys and shit he must’ve left them in the living room. He can hear Taehyung upstairs listening to his classical music. He’s probably studying or jerking off. Jungkook is no longer making a ruckus in the living room so he’s guessing it’s empty.
He excuses himself from the conversation and slowly makes his way back to grab his phone. Hopefully there will be another lacy surprise waiting for him.
“[First] did you hear a word of what I just said?” Jimin’s voice is hushed and low. Clearly he doesn’t want to be heard. Hoseok stops in his tracks. He pressed his back against the wall, standing right next to the arch where the door is. He doesn’t want to eavesdrop but he also doesn’t want to interrupt.
“Huh?” The confusion in your voice is evidence that you didn’t.
“What the hell are you thinking about?” There’s a sound. A soft ‘puft’ kind of sound. It reminds him of a pillow.
“Nothing, what were you saying?” Hosoek knows you well enough that he catches the breath of a lie twisting your words. You were thinking about something.
“I was answering your question. I was the only one that saw you trying to get yourself off on Yoongi and I’m fairly sure he didn’t even realise himself but - why the fuck were you trying to get off on Yoongi?”
Woah - back up. You were trying to get off on Yoongi?! During the movie?! Hoseok’s breath catches in his throat. He didn’t see you- yes he did. You were perched on Yoongi’s lap.... oh.
“Okay, look,” you sigh, defeated, “you can’t tell anyone this, alright?” Your voice lowers to a hush but Hoseok can still just about make out the words.
“Alright.” Jimin whispers.
For some reason, Hoseok feels really dirty. Maybe he shouldn’t be listening to this-
“I haven’t...” your voice trails off to a mumble.
“Huh?” It seems Jimin didn’t catch your words, either.
“I... I haven’t had...” again you trail away.
“Seriously, stop mumbling.” Jimin is growing a little irked.
“I haven’t had sex in over a year!” You hiss and Hoseok’s jaw literally drops.
“WHAT?!” Jimin leaps up and you smack your hand over his mouth. His eyes are swimming with genuine shock and your about to cry now that he’s alerted the entire street.
“Jimin!” You whine, “shut up!”
“Sorry-“ his mouth is muffled against your hand and it takes a strip of his tongue over your hand for you to pull away, “hope that didn’t turn you on more. If it’s even possible.”
“Oh shut up, Jimin.” You hiss, “it’s no big deal, obviously. It’s just getting to me a little. I’ll be alright. I just need to go home and have some... you know...” you look down at your feet. Oh god, this is awkward.
“I can always help.” Jimin wiggles his eyebrows.
“Help with what?”
You freeze up and Jimin looks like the heavens have just opened for him. His eyes light up and you’ve never seen anyone try to hold back such a huge, shit-eating grin.
Hoseok steps into the room like he wasn’t just listening to you confess you’ve experiencing the longest dry-spell of your life.
“[First] has a bit of a problem. Actually it’s a huge problem,” Jimin starts and your sending him a look of warning. But Jimin knows you’re so whipped for Hoseok so maybe if he just hints a little, he can get you some dick and some Jung dick at that, “it’s a real burning blunder. It’s a hot, hot issue, let me tell ya Hyung.”
“Park Jimin.” You warm quietly through gritted teeth.
“Oh yeah?” Hoseok’s grabbed his phone now and he’s looking between you and Jimin. You’re standing really close to one another and you instinctively step away. Hoseok wants to say that he knows what your problem is and looking at your face, he doesn’t know how it wasn’t given away much earlier. Fuck, you look hot with the need swimming in your eyes.
“Yeah. It’s a real peak of an issue, wouldnt you say? I bet it’ll be a pretty orgasmic feeling when you solve it.”
Never in your life have you considered murder. But right now? Yeah, right now you could smash Jimin’s coy smirk right into the fucking wall.
Hoseok wants to burst out laughing. He knows Jimin is teasing you and he can see the anger flooding your face. He pins that Jimin is trying to get him to catch on to your problem but he already knows. He figures he’ll have a little fun.
“Oh, by the way, [First], we’re going on a spontaneous trip tomorrow. Wanna come?” He’s smiling at you.
Oh god. Hoseok’s asking you on a trip? Technically it’s wil the others but your heart just skipped a beat and Jimin is certain that you’re going to cry out of happiness.
“I, uh, I don’t know I-“
“She’d love to!” Jimin answers for you, “you don’t have any plans whatsoever do you?”
You’re giving him such an evil eye that’s screaming ‘you know I have plans you evil fucking leprechaun-ass looking motherfucker’ and he’s giving you a look back that’s screaming ‘a date with your vibrator isn’t plans’.
“Great!” Hoseok is showing some serious enthusiasm, “you might as well stay the night, then. You have clothes here, right?” You nod in response, “cool. Well, now that I’ve got this,” he waves his phone about, “I’m gonna go jerk off or something.” He stalks out. Hoseok... jerking off... in the same house as you...
You now and swolloy a dry lump. Jimin has just sealed you in for at least another 24 hours of absolute no relief whatsoever. And now Hoseok’s gone and said that! You could kill Jimin.
So now you’re lying in the middle of Hoseok’a bed with Hoseok to your right and Jungkook to your left. Back to the Future is playing on the TV but only Jungkook is really paying any attention. It’s dark and the light illuminating from Hoseok’s phone is beginning to hurt your vision. You keep looking at his hands. They wrap around his phone easily and you wonder what he did earlier. If he did... you know. There’s a burning right at the pit of your stomach and the room is hot and you’ve got two of the hottest guys you know laying on either side of you.
Jungkook’s biceps are hard and his flesh is a little clammy and hot. His pecs are pushing against the material of his shirt and his basketball shorts leave very little to the imagination.
“Yeah but I saw it on a... rerun...” you can hear Marty McFly talking in the background but the blood is pumping through your ears.
Hoseok takes a look at you. Your face is red and you’re biting your lips. You’re drawing circles on your leg with your fingertips. Oh. You’re nervous. Hoseok turns, making a point to make a small little groan as he does so and you shift next to him. He’s facing you now but his phone is still in his hands. He’s tapping away furiously and you wonder who’s on the receiving end.
It’s most certainly a girl. It has to be. The only time Hoseok types so damn much on his phone is when he’s scolding one of the frat members for something and as Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi have gone to another frat party and Seokjin and Namjoon have already gone to bed, you know that it’s not that. You eye him, careful not to out yourself. He smirks just a little. The light from his phone illuminated his face. How are his pores so small? And his eyebrows are so neatly kept. And his lips look so soft.
His eyes snap up to you and you are fast to look away. He smirks. God, you must be going batshit crazy right now. Hoseok isn’t narcissistic. He isn’t in love with himself like other people he knows coughjincough but he knows that he’s attractive. And he knows that Jungkook is attractive, too. And he knows that you haven’t had sex in over a year. He knows how hot the room is. He knows how little you all have on. He knows how easy it would be to touch you right now bevause Jungkook is way too busy watching the move.
But then he wonders if you’d make a noise. Probably given how blown out your pupils are right now. He can practically see steam coming off of your skin. He wonders how loud you could be. Would you scream out? Would you cry? What did you like?
Great. Now he’s getting hard.
‘Way to go, asswipe.’ He thinks to himself and lies back on to his back.
The last thing he wants is to press his cock into your side. You might just combust and he likes this bed. You peer over at Hoseok as he moves and hOLY SHIT HE’S HARD. You gulp hard and Jungkook actually notices.
“I’m gonna-“
You’re quick to push up and you clamber over Jungkook. Hoseok sees a damp spot on your shorts. Fuck. He’s getting harder and now he’s alone in a bed with Jungkook. This is really fucking weird.
“Jungkook can’t you fuck off? I wanna sleep.” Hoseok rolls to face away from Jungkook, placing his phone down on the nightstand. Whatever that Sara, Stacey, Sue - whatever her fucking name is - is saying is definitely going to be nowhere near as hot as what he’s just seen between your damn legs. You’re so fucking wet - how are you staying so composed?
“Can’t I watch the rest of this?”
“No.” Hoseok grumbles, “go sleep we’re taking a long drive tomorrow.”
Jungkook huffs loduly in protest but he gets up anyway and leaves the room.
You stand in the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror. Your chest is rising and falling and you can feel your slick between your legs. It’s like a damn pool down there. What the he’ll is wrong with you?! Hoseok and Jungkook are your friends!
A few moments pass and you don’t return. Hoseok begins to think that maybe you aren’t coming back. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with him but it’s getting cooler and he doesn’t like the chill biting at his back. He pulls himself up and he is straining against his shorts. Fuck. He makes his way out into the hallway. Silence except for the whir of the fan in the bathroom. The fan automatically comes on with the light so you must be in there. He moved towards the door. Maybe you’re feeling a little sick?
Hoseok nears the door and that’s when he hears it. Even the sound of the fan can’t drown out those small whimpers. Jesus. He presses his ear against the door.
“Oh my god.” You whisper. He thanks god for not fucking with his hearing. Your breathing is growing and your whimpers are slowly growing to be whines, “fuck,” Hoseok is biting his lip as he listens. He’s sure he’s rock hard until, “Hosoek,” you gasp.
Holy mother fucking shit.
Did you just-?
His name?
wHAT?
And now he feels 10x harder and he’s sure he’s never felt this hard in his life. Not even when that hot substitute in 10th grade had her blouse pop open because her breasts were just too big to not bust it open. Fuck. Shit fuck.
But then an idea pops into his head. He likes the game. He likes the chase and he wants to see how desperate you’ll get. Even when you were with Jackson, you were still kind of reserved when it came to sex. You’ve always been that way. Maybe that’s why you haven’t fucked any of the guys yet. And Hoseok kind of doesn’t want you to now that he’s heard you. He kind of wants you all to himself.
And so he knocks.
The noises stop immediately and your heart is thundering. You were so close! Just another couple seconds and you would have easily came. You freeze. Did they hear you? The pleasure isn’t really ebbing away. It’s just sitting there in your core, waiting to snap.
“Um, [First]?” Your face flushed a deep crimson. Why Hoseok?! Did he hear you?
“Y-yeah?” You try to sound normal, like your voice isn’t cracking, like you don’t want to burst into tears because you need to come so badly.
“Everything alright?” No. Absolutely not. You want to come. You kind of want him to come in and make you come. Over his cock.
“Yeah, everything’s peachy. I’ll be out in a mo’.”
“Alright.”
He stands there. He doesn’t know what to do now. He decides he’ll go in after you and maybe try to calm himself down after that. When the door eventually cracks open, you step out. Your vest is a little twisted and he realises he’s never seen you so exposed. Your chest is bigger than he originally thought. Why do you wear such tight clothes - you’re so hot! Your legs are long and gleaming. He wonders how they’ll feel wrapped around him. Your face is deeply blushed and your lips are really swollen now. How badly have you been biting them? Your eyes are sparkling with tears - just a little but Hoseok sees them. God, how pent up are you?
You look over Hoseok and the images that were in your head aren’t subsiding. He’s rock hard against his shorts. You think that’s he thinks because it’s dark you can’t see but Jesus Chris when it’s that big it’s hard to miss. You quickly look away and Hoseok coughs before stepping into the bathroom.
Anger is one emotion flooding your veins. You just need something. Anything. You don’t know when this is going to stop because you don’t know how long the boys plan on staying wherever you’re going. You should have left your dam phone here at the house and gone a night without it. It’s not like your laptop doesn’t have a link to your phone contacts anyway. God damn.
You clamber back into Hoseok’s bed and don’t bother pulling the covers up. Hoseok is gone for a while and you don’t know what’s taking him so long. What if he heard you? What if he’s gone to sleep downstairs? Dear god. Well that’s your friendship fucked with him. Oh lord.
If only you knew. His knuckles gripping the edge of the sink, his other hand being the reason for such an intense wave of pleasure coursing his veins. Thinking of the way his name rolled off of your tongue as you gasped for breath. Did you think about his tongue, or his fingers, or his cock? God he doesn’t care. Any of them will do to make you sound like that again.
And then there’s white coating the sink and dripping down and fuck. Hoseok’s never done that to the thought of you before. Now he has to get back into bed with you and act like that didn’t just happen.
He doesn’t realise how long he’s been until he pass back into the room. You’re facing the other side of the room but fuck. Your shorts have ridden up a little, your ass is exposed - since when did you have such a nice ass? Your curves are on full display since you’re lying on your side and when Hoseok moves around the bed to get into his side, your practically spilling out of your vest. Your lips are parted, brows a little furrowed but you look peaceful. All hints of the utter torture you’ve been enduring are wiped from your face and you look kind of cute.
You? Cute? Ew, no. You’re [First]. The dorky girl Jungkook brought to lunch a few days after he first started at the uni. You’re the sweet little thing that scolded Jungkook for eating half of Namjoon’a sandwiches in one bite. You’re [First] who always brings cupcakes on a Thursday and you always give each cake icing which is the favourite colour intended for its recipient. You’re the girl who brings extra pens just in case Jungkook forgets his again, and who dances with Jimin when he’s drunk and you just want him to not fall over again, and who reads to Namjoon when he’s sleepy. You’re [First] who somehow gets along with Yoongi really well and makes him laugh all the time, who sits with Jin and is the only one who sings “yummy, yummy, yummy I’ve got food in my tummy” with him when he’s cooking.
You’re [First] who showed up one day holding hands with a senior guy and who looked so in love Hoseok thought his heart was going to burst right there. You’re [First] who always brought Hoseok water and food to his dance practice, who visited him at Hope World to remind him to take a break. You’re [First] who once broke the coffee machine and went out the same day and spent all your wages on a brand new one because you felt so bad. You’re [First] who came crying to Hoseok first when Jackson broke your heart, who called him at 2am and just asked him to speak to you because you needed to hear someone’s voice and you always liked his for some reason. You’re...
You’re extraordinary.
Hoseok doesn’t realise that his hand is caressing your cheek until you melt into his touch. He pulls away as if you’re hot to the touch. What is he doing?
The next morning, you’re not there when Hoseok wakes up and he feels a little... deflated. It’s only about 7am and he decides to get up despite a little lack of sleep. He feels groggy. He feels a little ache-y. He’s quiet as he manuvers down the stairs. He knows that Seokjin is driving today and he doesn’t feel like waking him up early and getting a lecture.
There’s a smell coming from the kitchen and Hoseok quite literally almost has a stroke when he sees you pottering around the kitchen in his hoodie and your shorts (which the hoodie is covering so it looks like you’re wearing nothing but his hoodie). You’re making pancakes and there’s all sorts of toppings already lined up on the counter. When you turn, you give Hoseok a smile.
“Morning, Hobi!”
His heart flutters in his chest. All he wants right now is to kiss you. You look so good in his clothes... You’re smiling at him and the sun is bursting through the windows. You’re glowing. He can still see that subtle hint in your eyes where you’re burning up but it seems you’re pushing it back for the time being. Maybe you relieved yourself before he woke up?
“Morning...” he has to be honest, he’s a little... taken back. You’re not usually a morning person. He knows this because one time you slept over and you had an 8:30am lecture the next morning. It took him, Jungkook and Jimin to get you out of bed and then for some reason you decided to temporarily bond with him for the morning. He had to drop you off at class and you had a toothpaste mark on the corner of your lip, your hair was just pulled into a messy ponytail and you’d thrown an outfit together. You were glaring at anyone and anything that came within a 1m radius of you except for Hoseok. So seeing you standing there smiling with a spatula in your hand at 7am is most likely the most shocking thing he’s ever seen.
“I made pancakes.” You hummed, turning back to the stove.
“I can see...” he’s still a little tired and his voice is so husky. He looks so good right now with a little bit of a bed head and his eyes not quite as bright as they usually are. You pretend the heat on your face is from the heat of the stove and you laugh it off quietly. This is fine. You’re fine. Fine.
“Would you like one?”
“Sure. Why not?”
Hoseok is sure he’s never tasted anything this good in his life. You tell him that it’s your grandmother’s recipe and he makes a mental note to meet the woman who taught you how to cook so well. Right now, you’re seeming like the full package. Until Hoseok reminds himself that he doesn’t do relationships. It’s too hard. But then again, it’s you. He’s looking at you again and you’re not looking at him. You’re currently overloading your pancake with syrup and he doesn’t know how you can intake so much sugar so early in the morning. He doesn’t understand why his heart is threatening to burst open his chest but he scoffs down his packcake so that you’ll make him another. It’s not long before the other members start to wake.
~^*^~
“-WHEN I’M WITH YOU ALL I GET IS WILD THOUGHTS!” The chanting around you has you shrinking further into your seat. Not that it did anything, you have Taehyung on your left and Namjoon on your right. Hoseok is sitting right in front of you with Jimin on his right and Jungkook on his left. Yoongi is in the passenger seat and Seokjin is driving.
Taehyung is trying to get you to dance with him in the very limited space and you’re trying to become invisible. Hoseok is laughing and you swear your heart is leaping into your throat. Why did you agree to this again? Oh, right, you didn’t. You’re burning a nice hole in the back of Jimin’s leg when your phone makes a noise.
From: Jimin ‘stop glaring at me’
To: Jimin ‘I wasn’t’
From: Jimin ‘I can literally see you in the mirror’
To: Jimin ‘in that case it’s just my face’
From: Jimin ‘no it’s not. Especially when you’re looking at Hosoek it ISNT’
To: Jimin: shut it Park
Jimin turns and gives you a flash of his smile and if you were close enough you would have hit him. Taehyung gives you a curious look and you bat him off.
“White girl wasted on brown liquor! I probably shouldn't be around you! 'Cause you get wild, wild, wild! You looking like there's nothing that you won't do!” The boys are still belting out the lyrics, but Hoseok’s head turning to lock eyes with you makes you nearly whimper. Fuck. He knows.
You don’t know how, it’s not even that logical that he would know about 1) your fat crush on him 2) your current horniness levels being through the roof 3) your want to ease your horniness with your big fat crush - so why are you panicking?! Jimin wouldn’t have told him. Jimin is an asshole, but he knows when to stop. He wouldn’t tell Hoseok. You hope.
When you pull up to this gorgeous summerhouse, you’re blown away by the scenery that surrounds it and well, the house itself. So much so that Taehyung has to pull you out of the car.
“This is technically Seokjin’s parents’ but they only use it for like two weeks in July so it’s ours for the rest of the year.” Jungkook explains and you nod at his words. You look around and Hoseok, despite being in a conversation with Seokjin and Jimin, is staring right at you. You look away.
“We could totally skinny dip.” Taehyung muses.
“You seven are more than welcome to engage in said sausage fest. I don’t feel like getting algae in my vagina.” You roll your eyes.
“Strictly speaking, you can’t really get algae in your pus-“ Namjoon is stepping over now.
“Why are you guys talking about [First]’s pussy?” Oh, there’s Hoseok, too. Great.
Please, lord, just let a small [First]-sized sink hole open up right under your feet and KILL YOU.
All seven members are now debating on if you can actually get algae in a vagina and you’ve literally never felt more uncomfortable. Hoseok is laughing at the chaos he’s had a hand in causing and your heart constricts alongside the bubbling, angry pit in your stomach. A pair of ripped denim shorts, a huge oversized white t-shirt (so large that he has to tuck it in to the front of the shorts so that it doesn’t look like a dress), an orange cap and matching vans. He looks... hot. As usual, in line with every other Jung Hoseok ™ look, he is so fucking hot.
Instead of standing around with the boys, you venture inside for a while. The house is very spacious but there’s only four bedrooms which means that everyone is going to have to bunk up. Apparently Seokjin normally gets a room to himself so he’s a little disgruntled at having to share a bed with Yoongi. Jimin is quick to pick Taehyung to bunk with and Jungkook decides he wants Namjoon because “Namjoonie Hyung sucks at switch games” which means... you’re bunking with Hoseok.
Holy shit you’re bunking with Hosoek.
You honeslty don’t know why you’re freaking out because you’ve slept (not like that) with Hoseok before. You guys like to cuddle every now and then and sometimes you’ve just straight up told Hoseok you’re sleeping in his bed because it’s really comfy (he has a memory foam mattress). Many times you’ve woken with his arms around your waist, nose pressed into the crook of your neck. But right now, something feels different. It feels like... like something has shifted monumentally between you and Hoseok. You’re starting to think that he really did hear you last night. You’re starting to think he knows you have a crush on him and you feel so stupid. There’s no way he likes you back so now you’re stuck with having to share a bed with him.
The first day is quick to pass as you get to the house at like 2pm. Seokjin whips up lunch and you guys sit out the back, looking at the large pond/small lake that sits at the back of the house. It’s a relatively warm day and it goes by pretty quickly. Before you know where you are, you’re lying in a bed next to Hoseok. It’s dark and your shoulder is touching Hoseok’s because somehow you also got stuck with the small double. Apparently it’s “too sexual” for two guys to share a bed and be that close but you know it’s bullshit because Jungkook and Taehyung literally compared dick sizes by whipping them out and holding them side-by-side. How is that- you know, you don’t even want to venture into that anymore.
You don’t know if Hoseok is asleep next to you. His chest is rising and falling but his breathing is a little too fast for someone who’s sleeping. He also keeps fumbling with his hands just a little and you’ve slept next to him enough to know that he stills when he’s officially asleep. Even so, you refuse to call out to him. But... he’s so close. And you’re beginning to burn up again. Oh god why now? Why next to Hoseok? Which reminds you, you need to smack Jimin when you see him tomorrow. Making you lie in this small-ass bed with Hoseok of all people, fully knowing how physically pent up you are. You find yourself rolling over, turning away from Hosoek and gulping in a breath. You are t h r o b b i n g. Since when had you become so hot? Before you know where you are, your fingers are over the material of your pyjama shorts and you’re biting into the pillow so that you don’t make a sound.
Fuck. This is so wrong. This is so so wrong. But you can’t help yourself. 13 months you been in this hell-like state. 13 months you’ve suffered. Your body can’t handle it any longer. You know how wrong this is. Getting yourself off with Hoseok lying beside you. Your friend Hoseok. Heavens above, you know he’s a sex god. You’ve heard more than your fair share of his sexcapades and you know girls don’t cry out like that if the sex isn’t great. You have a great mind to just roll over and beg him to fuck you. But you can’t. Because it. is. Hoseok. Because you know you’ll never live it down and you’ll definitely end up crushing on him more if he fucks you good. Your fingers are working at your bundle of nerves and oh, Lord, you’re close already. Can you come like this? Is this as needy as you’ve gotten? You’re willing to come for the first time in like four days sleeping next to one of your best friends/crush?
You don’t get the chance. Hoseok rolls over, grunting a little as he does. His arm tangled around your waist and he pulls himself close. He hums in your ear. You freeze. Your fingers are digging down into your core. Your eyes are wide open now and your heart is beating so quickly. Hoseok doesn’t make any further movement. He’s sleeping.
Except he’s not. He knows exactly what you’re up to and you are not about to come right next to him like that. Even with the pillow muffling you, you’re still a little loud and whiney. He’s smirking as he listens to your racing heart and your rugged breath. He’s pinning your arm against you and he knows you won’t move now. You’re trapped like this until he really does fall sleep. You’re trapped with your fingers on your cunt, so close to coming and nothing gives Hoseok bigger pleasure than knowing you’re shut down again. How much further will you need to be pushed before you crack?
The next day, you wake after Hoseok. He’s already up and you find him outside bending open the open bonnet of a red car. It’s a Golf R and you’re not entirely sure where it came from but Hoseok seems pretty busy so you sit down on the porch steps and wait for him to notice you. He’s gone with some ripped jeans today and a white tank top. His muscles flex every time his arms dip in and out of the metal and you’re flushing already. Get a grip, girl, it’s only 8:45! Hoseok turns after a while and flashes you a smile. Then, he’s calling you over. You don’t think that you can stand but you push yourself up and make your way towards him. {Part 2}
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toomanyfandoms02 · 5 years ago
Text
The Transporter ~Part Three~ // Spencer Reid x Reader
Sorry this took so long!! I have been so busy with work lately, but here she is.
Word count ~ 2,900+
Hope you guys like it :))
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I stepped back through the transporter to be met with an empty room. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 10:15, that wasn't *that* late. Christine is probably still awake.
I made my way to her room, which wasn't incredibly far from mine. Her door was cracked open and I could see her laying in bed, reading a book in the semi dim lighting. I knocked lightly, pulling her out of her fictional world of Harry Potter.
"Oh! Y/n, I didn't think you were coming back tonight. How was everything?" She gently set her bookmark in the book, placing it on her nightstand.
I couldn't hold back the smile on my face. It was the coolest day of my life, what could I say?
"It was so amazing Christine! I accidentally set myself right into an investigation that I knew about. I met all of them, and it felt different than I thought I would-"
"Did you talk to Spencer?" She asked, nudging my side. I could feel the blood rush to my face.
"Uh, yes." I smiled, looking down at her star clad comforter. "It was incredibly surreal and I can't wait to go back. It was kind of a funny interaction, the first one. He asked me to profile him, which was obviously easy because I know him like the back of my hand. Well I thought that was gonna be the end of our interaction that day. But I accidentally left my laptop at the Bureau."
"Oh yeah *accidentally*." She smiled, throwing air quotes.
"Shush, it was actually an accident." I giggled. "Anyway, he looked up my address I guess and he brought it to me. It was sweet."
"I guess now he knows where to send flowers." I shook my head with a smile. "Well I'm glad you had fun. I hope everything works out well, don't forget there's an actual case though." She winked.
"Thanks Christine, for everything." I waved as I slinked out of the room and down the hall.
I flopped down onto my bed with a simple grin, quickly falling asleep after my eventful day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I slapped my hand over my phone as the alarm began blaring at 9:30. I wanted to fully commit to this whole thing, just like I was in real life. But in reality, I was waking up pretty late, considering I was going to go into their universe at 8:30.
It appeared that Christine was already awake, she was softly knocking at my slightly cracked door.
"Hey sweetie, I take it you wanna head out soon?"
"Yeah! And I'm gonna have to be gone for a couple of days for the case. Get all integrated and such. Is that alright?"
"Yeah of course! Just document some experiences, or anything that seems weird or off about their universe." Chris left the room, shutting my door with a light thud.
I slipped on a white button up, putting a maroon sweater over it to add my own little touch. I looked in the mirror to make sure my dress pants were fitting me correctly and stepped into my two inch black heels.
Since I would be gone for a few days, I grabbed a suitcase plus my go-bag that I had already had from my time interning. The navy blue bag was slung over my shoulder as I walked out my door, immediately bumping into someone. I looked up to see who I remembered as Violet Glynn, who went into the Zombieland Universe.
"Sorry, Violet, right?" I shook her hand. "How's your universe going? I've always loved that movie. Please tell me Columbus is just as sweet and endearing as he is in the actual film?"
I could see her eyes light up with glee, clearly she hadn't had anyone to fangirl properly to, I could tell she was about to explode with information.
"Yes! He is incredibly kind. Talahassee is already trying to dad me, Little Rock and I are already pretty good friends but Witchita is still kinda weary of me, which is understandable. I talked to Ryan, and he said I can only change a few major things so one I chose to do was to keep Columbus from killing Bill Murray. Bill is so fun to live with so far! I just - I am totally talking about myself for too long. How is everything going for you?" I offered her a kind smile of reassurance.
"It's completely fine, I get your excitement. It's really cool, kinda different from the real job I was working. Maybe that's because I'm permanently gawking at one of my coworkers." We both laughed for a moment. "But I'm gonna be gone with him for like 3 days straight so, I guess I'm gonna have to figure something out. When I come back we should talk more." Violet nodded enthusiastically and waved as we walked to our Transporter rooms.
"Of course! See you in a few days."
I could hear Christine's heels clicking not far behind me as I began typing in the date and time.
*February 12th, 8:30 am. 2009*
"Good luck, I will see you in a few days time, yeah?"
"Yep!" I shoved my 'Come back device' in my go-bag and turned on it's much larger counterpart, nodding at Chris as I stepped in.
I was immediately greeted by my apartments bedroom, I could hear my phone buzzing on my side table. I lifted it to see a text from a certain favorite person of mine, and she didn't even know me yet.
*Penelope G*
*Hey sweets! The plane will be ready to be boarded at 9:15. The team is meeting at the BAU first for a carpool, so be there or be square! Have a good time on your first mission, from what I've seen, you're pretty amazing. :)*
I held back a small smile from my lips, this world is just as good as I always wanted it to be.
*Thank you M'lady. I've heard amazing things about you. I hope we can gossip sometime! ;)*
I sent the text and slipped my phone into my back pocket. I chucked a piece of toast in the toaster, quickly spreading peanut butter on it and checking my watch.
*8:45*
I began my walk to the BAU, probably looking extremely weird walking down the street in work attire and a piece of toast slathered with peanut butter. But I was pretty content, continuing to eat it as I reached the doors of my favorite place.
I brushed my hands together to rid of the many crumbs that had accumulated there, seeing JJ and Penelope talking at Jennifer's desk.
"Y/n! Come over here." Penelope waved me over, I pulled at the sleeves of my sweater as I walked over as confidently as possible. "Are you ready for your first case?" She leaned in a little, clearly trying to search my face for a quicker answer.
"Yeah, I think I'm pretty ready. I've done this kinda stuff before but, I'm way more nervous about this."
"I wouldn't worry to much about. I think you already impressed Hotch and Spencer, you read people extremely well. Did you seriously gather all that stuff from Reid just by knowing him for a few minutes?" JJ was clearly now invested.
"Well, yeah. He's relatively easy to read, as long as you're paying attention." JJ nodded with a smirk.
"Well, you certainly made a good first impression, you honestly sound a lot like Reid, maybe you can..." I watched as she peered behind me, her words trailing off. Her eyes darted back and forth between me and whatever was happening behind me. I whipped my head around to see Spencer walking in, he was distracted my a book, which made me smile. But that smile quickly faded as I scanned my eyes over his outfit.
He was wearing a white button up with a black tie and a maroon vest over it with black dress pants. Sound familiar? All but the black tie.
"Maybe you are even more like Reid than I thought." JJ smirked at me. All the blood had run to my face and my feet felt bolted to the ground. Why this? Why on my first official day? I could hear Garcia holding back a laugh behind me.
"This is adorable I'm sorry." She said, giggling a little.
Spencer finally looked up from his book, hearing Penelope laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows, squinting a bit. Probably wondering why I looked like a deer in headlights. He looked down at himself.
Then back up at me.
Then down at himself again.
He just smiled at me and closed his book all the way, adjusting the go-bag he held on his shoulder. I nearly dropped mine.
"What just happened?" Penelope nudged my shoulder. I shrugged and shook my head.
This was clearly going to be quite the day.
I ended up carpooling with JJ, Morgan and Reid. JJ and I sat in the back while Morgan drove, Spencer spitting facts to him about cars and traffic.
"Well, according to the DC Department of Motor Vehicles, there are almost 450,000 active drivers registered in the District. However, millions more drivers commute to DC from neighboring communities in Maryland and Virginia. D.C. is also host to millions of tourists from around the world. In 2014, more than 20 million people visited D.C., many of them renting a car or driving their own vehicle to visit." He rambled.
"Reid, all I said was there was a lot of traffic today."
"I mean he's right though." I piped in. Spence looked back at me with confused eyes. "Washington D.C. is also home to some of the worst traffic in the country. Analysts estimate that the average driver will spend 7 hours a year in traffic, wasting 6 gallons of gas. However, for D.C. drivers, one estimate found the average driver is spending 67 hours a year in traffic, wasting 32 gallons of gas while sitting in traffic." I think hearing him so much on the show, made me a little bit like him in some ways, my friends always rolled their eyes at me whenever I rambled. The only real one who listens is my uncle. He had turned around, but I could tell he was smiling.
Success.
"Good lord there's two of them."
I'll take that as a compliment.
We boarded the plane and I decided on a window seat, leaning my head up against the cold glass. My hand was unknowingly gripping the armrest a little too tightly.
"Are you a nervous flier?" I would obviously know that voice from anywhere, but right now it was coming from right across from me. I leaned my head back on the headrest.
"Not necessarily, I've flown quite a few times. I've just never been in a jet."
"The key difference between jets and propeller planes is that jets produce thrust through the discharge of gas instead of powering a drive shaft linked to a propeller. This allows jets to fly faster and at higher altitudes." He loosened his tie a little. "So I wouldn't worry too much, it feels about the same."
"Well thank you."
It was silent for a bit, but once we were in the sky we began talking about the case. Emily was talking about how she wants to be cremated because being buried was gross and weird.
"I actually agree with you. I think cremation is more personal too, I want someone to sprinkle my ashes somewhere. Not have to visit my grave and waste money on flowers every year."
Me and Emily got into that conversation as the rest of the team slowly started to do their own things. Spencer was back to reading his book, one page every 5 seconds. He peered over his book for a moment, but only a moment.
"I like your outfit by the way." He mumbled, still focused on his book, he lowered it a bit. I could see a smirk creeping onto his features. My ears began burning as the blood rushed to them.
"Thanks." I really wanted to say more to him, but it felt like my jaw was wired shut.
Morgan was not so discreetly looking over at us with eyebrows raised. But I kept my eyes out the window.
We landed about 2 hours later. I had kept myself occupied by writing down everything that just happened, so I wouldn't forget, and for Christine.
"Morgan, Reid, y/l/n, you go with the police search party and find what you can. Prentiss and I will talk to their chief. Rossi and JJ, set us up in the station."
Once we were there, we were put on a search party with the police, they quickly found the body of another woman covered in mud and holding a cross necklace. We were bringing the evidence back to the station with the others. On the way back, Spencer was telling me about the history of gold cross necklaces. I could practically hear Morgan rolling his eyes the whole time, but I just loved hearing him talk.
Once we were there, Rossi showed his blatant coldness towards the psychic that was telling a scared mother that her daughter was okay. Hotch began sending us off again, and we were off to see the bodies.
Days here moved so fast.
Once we arrived I stared at the body on the table. I lightly touched her arm, cold as ice. Seeing these body through the screen was one thing, but knowing these are real people, it's even more sad. Of course I had seen many bodies in my time, but the thought that this wasn't fictional anymore made my stomach churn a little.
"I found trace amounts of seamen, but there is no sign of sexual assault."
"Are you saying this was consensual?" Spencer tilted his head a bit. No no sweet child.
"She's saying it's happening post-mortem." I said, looking down a little. Morgan nodded and Reids face scrunched. This poor woman.
I knew I couldn't change much, because that could royally screw some stuff up, si throughout the whole thing I decided I would change things little by little to move it along faster. What I did this time was make it so we didn't waste time and interrogate the random man who was accused of being a necrophiliac, because his timeline wouldn't match up.
We made it to the house just a smidge earlier, Brooke was found on the operating table in the abandoned home, completely fine.
The days had become exhausting, as soon as we got on the jet I sat in the same seat, dropping my bag down and grabbing a small pillow out of it. I set the pillow against the window and drifted off to sleep fast.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up to JJ shaking my shoulder, opening my eyes to see a blanket that read *e=mc²* all over it.
"What is this?"
"Oh, I believe Spence put that on you while you were asleep. You were shivering and he happened to have it in his go-bag I guess." She shrugged. "Everyone is heading home, so you want a ride?"
"That would be amazing, thank you."
"No problem."
It was only 5 pm, and Christine wouldn't be expecting me back until tomorrow. So I decided I was gonna get some stuff done with my time, more specifically one big thing.
I grabbed the wad of money that Chris had given me and waved down a taxi. I had them take me to the nearest car dealership. I made a hasty decision and bought a 2007 Mini Cooper. Now I could do what I really wanted.
I looked up Spencer's address and grabbed his blanket, which I had neatly folded and threw on my coffee table. He appeared to live around 15 minutes away by car.
Once I was there, nerves had set in, but I ignored them as I reached the door and knocked 3 times.
I heard a faint "Coming!" From the other side of the dark oak door. He answered with his phone propped up on his shoulder, talking to someone.
"Sorry Mom, I gotta go, love you." He hung up and pulled his phone from his ear. "Hey, what are you doing here."
I presented his blanket to him.
"I figured I would return the favor of you bringing me my laptop by bringing you your blanket." I flopped it into his outstretched arms.
"We have got to stop meeting like this." He smiled, bringing the blanket to his chest. "Would you like to come in?" He brought his hand to the collar of his shirt, attempting to loosen the strain it clearly had on his neck. "I just made a pot of coffee. And since you're just about the only one who actually listens to my ridiculous amount of rambling, I figured we could ramble together? I mean I don't know you very well and I honestly want to be the first to befriend you, you're very intriguingly different. Not in any kind of bad way I just-" His face was slowly getting more red and I could see that his grip on the poor blanket was almost white knuckle.
"I would love to." I stepped into his apartment with a sigh.
Was this a dream?
Maybe.
If so, I wanna be asleep *forever*.
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aperrywilliams · 5 years ago
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A Normal Conversation Ch05 (Spencer Reid x Maxine Brenner)
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Previous Chapter / Ch05 / Next Chapter
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Chapter 5: First date
Summary: Spencer and Max first date
Word Count: 3510
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
A/N: It's like I wish the first date was
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Waking up the next morning, Spencer was in a very good mood. As soon as the alarm clock rang, he jump off the bed and went to the closet to choose his outfit for the day. He gathered all his clothes and left them on the bed while he went to shower.
After the shower he quickly get dressed. He looked his clock and it was still early. Breakfast was prepared. While he ate his toasts, he checked his cell phone and realized that Max sent him a message with the address of where he would go to pick her up after school. "Excellent. It is not far away” he said to himself. He finished eating and brushed his teeth, pick his bag, and went out hoping that morning would pass as quickly as possible.
Max woke up that morning with the sound of the alarm programmed into the cell phone. Even sleeping she stayed for a few seconds thinking about what day it was. When she was more awake she got up quickly and sat on the bed. Max picked up the cell phone and texted Spencer with her school's address. She’d forgotten to send it to him the night before. As she did so at that moment she thought and smiled. "Oh Max. What are you getting yourself into?” She said to herself before standing up and going to shower. Before that she left preparing coffee.
When Max left the bathroom she went to the closet to choose her clothes. She meditated a little. "It's just a coffee," she said to herself. After that she chose the clothes and started getting dressed. When she was ready set up on couch with her breakfast and TV on to watch some news before leaving. Finished the breakfast, she got ready, she turned off the TV and went to work. "I hope this morning does not become so endless," she thought as she took her bag and closed the door behind her.
The anxiety of both made the morning the opposite of what they expected: it felt extremely long and heavy. Max had to deal with two classes where the children seemed to have been possessed by hyperactivity. It took a lot of effort to get them to focus and do the class activities.
In his side, Spencer had to face a box full of records from previous cases that Emily urgently asked him to review in order to present it in an inventory of expenses in front of other area heads of the bureau during the afternoon. It was a tedious and not very challenging task for him, but he knew that Emily needed help fast and who better than someone who is able to read at the rate of 10 pages per minute.
The clock struck 2:10 p.m. and Reid had already finished his task. He went to Emily's office to report his findings. As he knocked on the door and after Prentiss let him in, he began to "spit out" information.
“Of all the cases involving more than a single suspect, the costs in human and monetary resources rise to over 30% and that correspond to 45% of the cases we had last year. In those where a direct alliance was made with the local police before arriving, the costs were reduced by 10% and the cases that were in the DC area had an increase in the resources of the bureau by 25%. The average work time per person was 2.3 days per assigned case...” Prentiss looked at Spencer in amazement and not because she did not believe everything he said, but because his "speed" was higher than the average she was used to.
“Reid… stop… do you have all this information in a written report?”
“Yeah right. I was going to give it to you now” he handed her a folder with a two-page report of all his work. Prentiss started laughing.
“What…?” Spencer said somewhat misled.
“You could have just handed me this and I'd be happy. You didn't have to do a dissertation on the data” Emily pointed out.
“I thought a summary would be useful before reading it” he said convinced.
“Yes, I really appreciate it. But you just "spit out" everything out faster than you usually do. Something happens?” Emily could read Reid as well as J.J.
“Ehhh, no ... it's just that I have to go now. I must be at 3:00 p.m. in ... a place...” Emily knew she was right, something was happening to Spencer.
“So ... why didn't you start there? It's already more than 14:20. Go away!” Emily said after checking her watch. Prentiss had no idea what Spencer's plans were, but she was sure it was important to him.
“Do you need anything else?...” Reid asked anxiously.
“Spencer, go now!. You're late” Prentiss ordered.
“Okay. Thank you!” It wasn't long before Spencer ran out of the office to take his belongings. Prentiss couldn't help but laugh at seeing him leave in such a hurry. "Spencer 'running away' from work at this time on a Friday?... Oh boy, it must be something really big" she thought, then returned to her own job.
It was 2:59 p.m. and Spencer was standing outside Max's school. He took advantage of that extra minute to adjust his tie and adjust his blazer. On time, he saw Max come out through the main gate. She saw him and smiled. Spencer thought he was going to melt right then. He saw her approach to him and thought "wow! she is so beautiful!”. It had only been a week since he met this woman and he was as stunned as a teenager.
Max went out the school looking among the people and saw him standing by the gate. Perfectly ordered in a suit that "fit him perfectly," she thought. “But look at those eyes, Max” she told herself. “Michelle was right ... he really is handsome ...". When they made eye contact, they both gave each other an open smile. Max approached him repeating inside her head “don't look nervous... don't look nervous... don't look ..."
“Hey! Just in time!” Max said when she was already in front of Spencer.
“Hey! Hi. I had just arrived” Spencer replied, not knowing if that greeting was enough. He wanted to kiss her on the cheek, but they weren't close enough to his judgment to do that.
“Well ... Where will we go for our coffee?”
“I know a place that I think you will like and it is relatively close in this neighborhood, we can go on foot if it doesn't bother you” Spencer said.
“I think it's great. I like to walk” Max said with enthusiasm.
“Me too. Come on then...” Spencer gestured for Max to start walking first.
“Let’s go...” Max said starting the walk.
They walked a few blocks and Spencer stopped in front of a place called "The Biggest Art Coffee". Max looked at the premises and exclaimed with enthusiasm.
“Hey! Whenever I passed by here I saw this place, but had never had the opportunity to enter” Max said cheerfully.
“Okay, now is the time. We get inside?” Spencer asked. Max nodded.
The place was tight at the entrance, but passing a second door opened a large room where in the center is the barista's bar and around tables and benches to sit. The walls were decorated with pictures that emulated paints of great artists in landscape and portrait painting. Max was fascinated. Her eyes sparkled. Spencer couldn't stop staring her and he was truly delighted to see her so excited.
“It's fantastic. It's like being in a mini museum!” she exclaimed.
"I knew you would like it" Spencer said with satisfaction.
“Yes, very much” Max looked at Spencer and gave him a smile. “Shall we order?” she said pointing to the barista's bar.
“Sure” Spencer said. “What do you want to drink?”
“Double espresso with a whipped milk bud" Max said confidently and without thinking twice.
“You know very well what you like...” he pointed out. Max laughed at the observation.
“I hope it's not a bad thing...” Max said.
“Of course not! Is a good thing indeed. After saying this, Spencer went directly to the bar to order the coffees, while Max sent herself to a table located in a corner, which allowed her to observe the place in greater detail. When Spencer returned with the coffees, he sat across from her passing what she had asked for.
“Thank you...” Max said enjoying the smell that came out of his cup. Spencer couldn't help but watch her and examine how she took her cup, how she slowly blew and tried to drink sips of her coffee without getting burned. While she was talking about the photos and pictures that were on the walls of the place. He could bet she knew the history of all those paintings.
Suddenly Max realized that Spencer was looking at her almost without blinking. “Is something wrong?” she ask. At the time Spencer realized that he didn’t have been very discreet when looking at her.
“No. It’s ok. Very well, in fact ... I was listening to you carefully” Spencer said.
“Excellent” Max said smiling. Then she took her cup and held it up to Spencer's cup. “For our first date” she said making a toast. He responded by doing the same.
“For our first date” they toasted and each took a sip. "You know... it's funny..." Spencer started to speak. Max looked at him closely.
“What it is funny?” Max asked.
“Well, I'm not going to deny that I'm nervous about this” he said this referring to him and her. “Well, since the fact I didn't know how to invite you out. I rehearsed it a thousand times on the plane when I got back to DC”. Max was watching him intently, she didn't want to interrupt him “…And well, I finally ended up calling you. You know, I think it's funny that we have been talking for a week and this is our first... ‘date’”.
“Does the word "date" complicate you?” Max asked. Spencer shook his head not knowing if to say yes or no. “We can use another word if you feel uncomfortable...”
“No, is not that. It is the opposite, in fact. I like it ...”. Max was somewhat confused.
“Ok, let's clarify this. I think we are getting a little complicated” she said. “We are going to start with the essentials: Why did you invite me out in the first place? Did you feel forced by the message I sent you?” said Max.
“No no no. I invited you out because I wanted it... I like to talk to you ... and if it is in person, better”
“Ok... so, we agree that this is natural and that it should happen...”
“Yes...”
“What I am saying is that it is normal for people who have just met and have been in contact for a few days want to see each other again at some point. I think this needed to happen” Max said. Spencer nodded. Max continued with her idea. “Ok. I understand that you're a little nervous. I am also nervous right now” she confessed. Spencer looked at her and grimaced.
“Are you?... I could say that you hide it much better than me” he sentenced. Max started to laugh.
“Good, thank you. I thought it was more evident” they both laughed. Max continued: “Do you agree if we make this... I don't know... more relaxed? I think it is a nice symbol of what it was like when we first met. No pressure. Let's take things slow and see what happens”
“Take things slow… yes of course. I can do that. It is not my intention to do otherwise. I think you may have noticed by now that I'm not the ‘fast’ type” Spencer shrugged. Max smiled.
"I like that ... despite how solemn you are when invite someone out for coffee" Max joked.
“Solemn. Yes that's me” Spencer smiled as he drank his coffee.
“So ... did we reach an agreement?” Max asked.
“So is. We go slowly seeing how things turn out. No pressures” Spencer said.
“Excellent. We agree. Let's make another toast then…”. The toast was broken by a cracking sound that Spencer felt in his stomach and made him wince. Max noticed. “Did you have lunch?” she asked.
“Ehh, no... I passed the hour at the office” he explained.
“And have you been hungry all this time?” Max reproached.
"I hadn't really noticed I was hungry" said Spencer.
“No, no, no sir. You're not going to faint on our first date. Come on, let’s go” Max said getting up from his chair to leave.
“Where are we going?” Spencer asked.
“To feed your poor stomach. I know a good place” Max stated.
They headed out to the place Max had in mind so Spencer could eat. They walked a few blocks near the park where they were first met. During the walk Max reproached Spencer for his unhealthy habits.
“Okay, I'm not the example of a healthy person, but at least I avoid skipping meals. I don't know how someone could think fatigued, it doesn't work for me” Max said.
"I think in my case it would be worse to try to think without caffeine..." said Spencer.
“I give you that one. I agree. It happens to me too. Anyway, I think if a person is going to have bad habits, let them be the least”. Spencer nodded.
"I don't smoke and I don't drink," Spencer said. Max looked at him raising an eyebrow.
“Don't you smoke ... nothing? ... you never drink alcohol...?” Max asked curiously.
“I don’t smoke. Nothing. I drink alcohol only on very special occasions... that is, almost never...”. He thought with a grimace.
“Ok, I'm thinking that maybe the one with the least healthy behavior is me...” Max laughed.
“If I had said it before... would I have avoided this whole speech?” Spencer asked looking at Max reproachfully.
“Maybe...”. Max said with a shrug. “Okay, here we are”.
They had reached a local food restaurant. It was similar to a food truck, but it was slightly larger and had a hallway with a bar where people could sit. They approached the inn and the tenant asked them what they were going to eat. Without asking Spencer, Max asked for the house special burrito and two bottles of water. Spencer watched as Max made the request and said nothing to him. When it was time to pay, Spencer approached to take the account, before which he received a pat from Max in his arm.
“What are you doing? I invite you. You paid for the coffee, it's fair for me do this”. Spencer wanted to insist, but he sensed that perhaps it was not a good idea to argue with Max about it. In addition, his eyes fell quickly on the burrito that was provided to him for the tenant. In that minute he realized that he was really hungry. They took the food and sat at the bar.
“What am I about to eat?” Spencer asked as he pulled the paper out of his burrito.
“The best burrito you will eat in this city. I am not going to say that it is the best in the country, considering that you surely know more cities than me. This burrito is the precise balance between meat, bread, and dressings. It will leave you feeling itchy but very pleasant”. Spencer took his burrito and took his first bite with enthusiasm. He chewed and chewed, savoring exactly what Max had described.
"Wow!... This is... really tasty" Spencer took another bite as Max took sips from his water bottle and looked at him with satisfaction.
“I like to come here when I feel I need a good burrito. The better thing is that you can order to take home”. Max said while Spencer just nodded and decided to finish his burrito in one last bite.
“Really ... delicious. I must say that you were absolutely right about this”. Spencer said removing residue dressing from his mouth with a napkin and taking a sip from his water bottle.
They decided to stand up from the bar and continue walking, since the place began to fill up with people. Near the place there was a small square with benches. They decided to go there to be able to sit down.
“Your look better now. Do you see that it is necessary to eat?” Max said as she sat down on one of the benches.
“You can be sure that now I won't faint. But you have created a new need for me with that burrito” Spencer said. Max smiled.
“Nothing is perfect. Sorry” Max said with a shrug.
“The truth is… if we speak about perfection is risky to say it because each person can judge only for they own what they considered as perfection. Independently we have ideas of what perfect is, though there are studies that say empathy could finally generate a shared canon...” He realized he was rambling and  Max was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Ok... but it is clear that what I am saying is not relevant now…”. Max laughed out loud.
“No, is not that. I'm sure it does make sense. What's more, I could give you my opinion on that if you're interested, of course...”. Spencer looked at Max curiously and nodded. Max started talking: “you are a scientist, correct ?, that is, you believe in scientific facts rather than myths and legends...”
“Yes, although many myths and legends interconnect with scientific observations of the world...” Spencer said.
“Totally agree. But well, what if someone, with whom you empathize a lot, I don't know, could be a family member, a friend... if that person told you that he/she had a scientifically unorthodox experience, would that give more credibility to his/her story than if it were someone who didn't you know”. Spencer thought for a bit.
"No ..." said Spencer.
“Would you make him/her notice...?” Max asked counteract.
“Probably…”
“Even if that means a conflict between you?”
“In that case, maybe not”
“That's my point! I don't think there is a shared canon between people thanks to empathy, but rather that empathy is rather ‘accepting that the other is looking for something different’. And many times it is accepted to avoid conflict and the possibility of ‘not fitting in’”. Spencer was speechless. He just nodded. Max's reasoning was very reasonable even though it was in a completely different paradigm than his.
"Wow, that makes a lot of sense" said Spencer.
“It is not that I am very studious on the subject, but it is what I see in children. And we know that children's behavior teaches a lot”.
“You're right. In fact, our first social interaction is in childhood and that says a lot about how our future experiences might or might not be…” said Spencer. Max nodded.
Spencer was very pleased to be able to discuss things like this with Max. They were like his sociology classes, but applied to real life. It seemed that her experience in life and her work made her very accurate in her observations and very pedagogical in her explanations. He liked that. He certainly liked it.
They were talking for a few more hours when they realized that it was already getting dark. Max winced at her watch.
“It's getting late, I think I better go”
“Yes me too. Will you walk to your apartment?”
“No, I will take a cab. My apartment is not close to here.
“I'll go with you until you take it”
"Fine, thanks" Max smiled as they walked toward the corner of the street.
"I hope I lived up in this... first date" Spencer said as they waited for a cab to come. Max nodded at him.
“I had a great time with you Spencer today. Thank you” Max gestured to a cab that was coming a block away.
"Special credit to the burrito you bought me" Spencer said and they both laughed. The cab stopped and Spencer opened the door for her.
“Goodbye Spencer” Max said giving him a farewell smile. Before getting on the cab Spencer stopped her for a second taking her arm.
“Ok, It's my turn...”. He bent down a little to kiss her on the cheek. “Good night Max...”. Then he helped her to get into the cab. She smiled, staring at him and grimacing.
“Good night...” Max said before closing the door of the taxi and starting the way to her house.
This time Spencer didn’t want to walk to his apartment. He stood on the sidewalk for a while until he stopped a cab for himself. He was pleased. “Not bad for a first date” he told himself. “Alright Spencer. Achievement unlocked” he concluded saying to himself with a satisfied smile on his face.
------------
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kileyrose-2003 · 5 years ago
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Dan Torrance x Fem! Reader Pt.2
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A/N: Hello lovelies. This is part 2 of my Danny Fic series where it heavily revolves around Rose. If the ending to this part seems choppy that is because part 3 I am picking up with Rose and Crow’s side of the story. Link to the intro is here , link to pt. 1 is here
I hope you all are having a wonderful day and you all!
Warnings: None
"..By signing this document you are willingly committing to six months of rehab. Upon signing this you are also agreeing to also seclude yourself to the outside for a minimum of two weeks. No visitations either." The elderly woman sitting behind the desk was eyeing you judgmentally and you didn't have to be in her head to know she was calling you a whore.
"Do you understand the terms and conditions?" There was an awkward silence and you looked at Danny. "Dan? You understand?"
"Yeah I do, I just-" He bit his lips and tears started flowing down his cheeks, highlighting his freshly shaved face. "I've gotten so used to seeing you every day and now we're being torn apart again." Dan squeezed your hand.
"I know but Danny, it's for the better. It's only two weeks we won't be allowed to see each other." You tried to comfort him while also contain your emotions.
"That's the minimum though. It could be longer than that and you keep me grounded from sun up when you hold my hand while we have breakfast to sun down when you hold me at night. You're a safe person and I'm scared of losing you."
"D-danny." Your voice cracked. "I'll still be here when you get out and we can still have that but you need help. I love you and I want you to be secure enough where you don't need me for that support. You made it I've 20 years without me and we made it through. We can still make it through. I promise."
He didn't say anything for a minute. "You promise?" You nodded. "I promise." In a burst of energy he picked up the pen and signed the paper before covering his face with his hands.
You stood up and wrapped your arms around his back to hug him. "You did the right thing." He kissed your hands over and over again. "I love you," He whispered so softly you could barely hear him. "I love you too, Danny."
The woman behind the desk coughed and stood up. "Are you ready to begin, Mr. Torrance?" You glared at her and released your grip on Danny. "I guess this is goodbye."
"Yeah.." Dan wiped a tear away from your and held your hand in his. "Goodbye, Y/n." You gave the top of his hand one last kiss before he walked away. "Goodbye."
Once he was definitely gone you walked outside and were greeted by Dr. John and Billy. "He went?" You nodded and your lip began to tremble. "Yeah.."
"You okay?" Billy asked softly. You looked up at the cloudy sky and felt your relating to the dark hues of grey and black forming in the swirls like the windstorm of emotions you felt inside.
"I-" You knees gave in and you dropped to the ground as it began to rain. The drops of water falling as violently as your tears. Both men pulled you into a hug, not caring if they were going soaked. "D-danny.." You sobbed into them. "It's alright, Y/n. He's going to be alright.."
It was one of the hardest things you ever had to do in your life. You cried every single day when you woke up in the morning. Subconsciously reaching out to place a kiss on his cheek in the spot he would usually lay on the bed and find he wasn't there.
The house was empty without him. You started nursing school in hopes of getting a head start on your life with Danny and he'd always be there when you got home clinicals. Dealing with your tears that you had been bottling in all day after getting hours at the local hospice or hugging you tightly when you got to save someone's life in the ER but you couldn't share those moments with him anymore.
More often than not, either John or Billy would come over after they got out to work to check on you. Sometimes they'd stay for dinner that way you didn't feel as lonely and other times they didn't but, you appreciated the support either way and they made sure you were taken care of.
When Danny got out of rehab he changed. Alot. He looked healthy and clean and it made you happy, which made him happy. After six months of not being able to see you just that smile you gave at seeing him clean was worth it.
He was even clingier than he was before after not seeing you for six months. Always having to hold your hand when you went places together but you didn't mind as long as he was comfortable.
It was the first time in a long time you didn't feel the pains of your past coming back to haunt you and you didn't have to constantly worry about everything. You almost felt like you were in a quasi state of peace and so did Danny.
Not long after you graduated from college Danny proposed, probably one of the happiest days in your life next to your wedding.
The wedding itself was small as you and Danny kept to yourself and neither of you had any family. Well, you did but any relationship you had with them was long out the window and you didn't want them near Danny anyways. You were free now and you had the power to make your own choices and live your life the way you wanted to with no one to hold you back.
"You saved me, you know that right?" You mumbled into Danny's chest as he held you while the two of you enjoyed your first dance. "You saved me too. If you weren't here, I'd be long gone. I'd have nothing to live for."
"Sometimes I feel the same way." He dipped his head down to kiss you on the lips and as he did you seen your mother's ghost standing in the corner. Chills ran up and down your spine and that fleeting bliss slowly began to subside.
(Ka is a wheel, Y/n. Ka is a wheel..)
...
8 years later:
"Danny, what did I tell you?" You asked as your husband of five years plopped down next to you on the sofa in your typical salt box, New England style house in Frazier.
"You only said no flowers and there is only one five year anniversary so might as well I spoil you while I have the chance?" You shook your head and began to rip off some of the wrapping paper on the tiny box he laid in your hands.
"I don't need to spoiled, Danny." You rolled your eyes and open the tiny box. There was a ring with y/f/c diamond in the inside and you smiled. "Aww Danny, it's beautiful."
"Aren't you glad I spoil you then?" He grabbed a remote on your coffee table to turn on your stereo and pulled you into his arms. "Danny! Danny, you know I can't dance."
"Now you're just being stubborn." There was some light rock music from the 80s playing softly in the background and though the singer's voice was far from enjoyable, you were content.
"This is nice." You hummed softly and laid your head right up against his heart. "I know..I feel so calm. So at peace. If I could spend the rest of my life with you like this, I would."
"Me too..You don't regret it, Danny?" You asked sweetly. "Of all the people you chose to settle down with, you settled down with me."
"No, because I'm with you. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Inside and out." You blushed and moved your head away from his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck that way you could look at him. "I love everything about you." You blushed and giggled slightly. "Stop it, Danny."
"It's true though, I do love everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, the way your hair flows in the wind, how loving you are. Everything about you, I adore." You stared into Dan's eyes and you felt your heart flutter. There was nothing but pure affection for you in his eyes and a feeling of deja vu set in, making your heart sink.
You realized it was the same way you remembered Crow looking at Rose but you immediately pushed that out of your mind. 'Stop it, Y/n!' You told yourself. 'They don't matter anymore. You have Danny now and Danny is your everything. ' "Honey?" He ran his thumb gently across your cheek. "Are you okay?"
"Yes..I just- I love you so so much, Danny." He kissed you sweetly on the lips. "I love you too, Y/n." You held his face in your hands. "Promise me you'll never leave me?"
"I'll be with you until the day I die and after." You caressed his cheek as he swayed you back and forth. "I may not know a lot but, I know enough to know that we go after all this."
"I figured just as much," You smiled and let him spin you. "Tell me Danny, do you think we'll be like this in another 30 years from now when we're old and gray? Because I hope we are."
"Even if we aren't, you'll still be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He pulled your body close to his chest and you giggled. "I love you, Mr. Torrance."
"I love you too, Mrs. Torrance. More than anything in the world." He dipped you and you let out a small laugh. Just as he was about to lean down and kiss you on the lips, you heard a clicking noise coming from the next room. "What's that?"
"Little Pen Pal." Dan planted a kiss on your cheek and straightened the both of your bodies out before walking into the next room. Your hands intertwined together.
'Morning!'
'Just us time today.' You and Dan both agreed on but Dan looked at you with those sappy eyes you couldn't resist and you smiled softly and held out a piece of chalk to Dan. "Go ahead." He bounced up like an excited child and anxiously raced over to the chalkboard writing a tiny 'School' with a smiley and you chuckled.
"How old do you think she is by now?" You thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe 12 or 13. She was little when we moved here and it's been a while since then."
You drew him close once he stopped writing and kissed his cheek. "Honey?" Dan hummed in reply and turned his neck to look at you. "I know we've only talked about it a couple of times but do you want to have a baby?"
There was a pause followed by a kiss on your nose. "I mean..I don't really know. Part of me wants to, but the other part of me doesn't want to put you at risk or just-what if I relapse and I fuck up? Big time. I wouldn't feel right subjecting our child to all that."
"Okay, okay. Just figured I'd ask." You spun him towards you and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Do you want to have one?"
You thought back to your childhood and sure when you were little, members of The Knot were always good with how they interacted with you, you thought you didn't know a thing about raising a child. "I-i don't know. That's what I'm scared of too..me messing up."
"You messing up?" Dan chuckled. "Honey, you're a nurse in a pediatrician's office. If there's anyone who's the baby whisperer here, it's you." You laughed and nuzzled close to him. "Well, that and my childhood."
Dan frowned and cradled your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. "Y/n, you of all people know I'm never going to push you-"
"Danny," You warned, not wanting to hear the words but he continued on.
"To do or say something you don't want to but honey, you're going to have to open up eventually."
"I know Danny, I know. I'm just not ready for it yet." Tears started to threaten to fall from the corners of your eyes and Danny wiped them away. "Shh..I know. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to you but just know I'm ready to listen when you're ready to tell. Okay?"
"Okay." He kissed you softly on the lips and caressed the sides of your face. You could feel him try to poke through your mind. "Danny!" You shut him out. "Sorry! Sorry! I just..I love you, Y/n. You know that right? And I'd never, ever, do anything to hurt you or let anyone hurt you. You're my world. My everything."
"I know, and I love you too." Your eyes interlocked for a moment as if you were searching each other all through out an he grabbed you by your thighs and hoisted you up that way your legs were wrapped around his waist. "Danny, what are you doing?" You asked, thrown off by the change in mood. "I'm about to show you just how much I love you." You blushed and let out a giggle. "Oh!"
He laughed as he began to carry you off to your bedroom. "I love your response. Just an oh."
...
Hours later the two of you laid all curled up in each other's arms in the aftermaths of your act of passion, talking about every little thing that entered your minds.
"..Do you remember that show from when we were kids that had buff skeleton dude in it?" You looked at Danny like he had five heads. "No.."
"That and Looney Tunes was my shit when I was younger." You laughed and laid your head against. "I person was more of a Disney Princess person."
"Of course you were." You furrowed your brows and looked at Danny. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He kissed your cheeks and ran a hand through your locks. "Nothing. Just saying."
"Hmm." Danny laughed and nuzzled you close, enjoying the momentarily silence between the two of you. "God, the stereo must of been on for hours now."
"What makes you say that?" You looked up at him. "Do you hear the song in the background?" You shook your head and he helped you off the bed. "It's older than what the patients at my work listen too."
"Danny, I highly doubt tha-"
When shadows fall and trees whisper day is ending,
"You hear it right?"
'Grampa Flick’s favorite song,' You thought.
"Yeah." Your face dropped but Danny didn't seem to notice. "I don't think I've ever heard it before. It's different, right?"
My thoughts are ever wending home.
"Sure." Your chest felt constricted, like you couldn't breath and you felt like you wanted to run from everything. "Sweetheart?" You stared at the floor. "Yes, Danny?" You responded. "Do you mind if I get in the shower?"
"Not at all. It's almost 4. Isn't our reservation at the restaurant for 6?"
"Yeah. Formal dress."
"I know." He shut the door to the bathroom connected to your room and you held the remote to the stereo in your hand. Out of the corner of your eye you seen your mom standing by the front door to your house.
Night covers all and though fortune may forsake me,
(Ka is a wheel, Y/n.)
Sweet dreams will never take me home.
"Fuck off!" You chucked the remote to the stereo into the other side of the living room before going into the guest bathroom and stepping into the shower as if the water would wash your worries away. Not everything had to be a wheel. This has to be the end. It has to be...”
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axelsagewrites · 5 years ago
Text
Stiles Stilinski*Followed Pt1
Ship(s): Stiles x Fem!Reader
Requested (?): By anonymous 
Can I get a Stiles x reader where the reader is this grunge/punk girl and is kinda intimidating and to everyone (even Derek?) and she finally gets a chance to be alone with Stiles (detention, study hall, etc. your choice) and they realize they have A LOT more in common than they thought?
Warnings?: couple swears, the norm.
Masterlist HERE
Wattpad HERE
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 (Y/N)  pov
I swear if one more person says I’m scary I’m going to flip out! Okay, maybe that won’t convince them but still. Apparently, I look intimidating. My face is just naturally aggressive for some reason. It's like a curse really.
This was one of the reasons, I think, that my friendship group is only small. Very small, at least in school. while I had friends from middle school and even a couple from freshman year, I hadn’t made any recently in school.
According to my friends, it might have something to do with the dyed hair, sarcastic comments and, resting bitch face. I come from a very sarcastic family and you have to be witty to survive.
While I’m not exactly bullied words like ‘goth’ ‘emo’ and ‘freak’ seem to be used more when I walk in a room. While there isn’t anything wrong with being goth, I’m just sick of being called it. For a time, I just stopped wearing anything with black on it but after coming to school in a white and yellow outfit and still getting called goth I gave up.
So, I’m the grunge kid. The one your parents tell you to cross the street from and that your grandma reminds you how sweet you used to be. And I don’t give a fuck.
But I kinda do. Like while I don’t deal with the awkwardness of introductions and meeting new people it’s because people don’t talk to me. And I wanna talk! I want to make new friends and get out of my shell. Partly because I don’t want to be alone forever and partly because I don’t wanna die alone!
For a while now this school has felt…strange. It started with a dead body being found in the woods and for some reason, my stomach is still in knots. Not to mention the guy they suspected of the murder keeps randomly showing up at school and dragging Scott and Stiles away. While I’m not friends with either I can’t help but be a little worried for them.
As I walk out of school, I prepare for the walk home. Headphones, jacket zipped, and dead face. I might as well live up to expectations. Honesty I’m used to the silent walk home. I live just close enough that I can walk but far enough that it’s a pain in the ass. Occasionally I get lucky and get a ride home, but it’s been a while.
I pass by a car far too nice to be in our parking lot and the man in the car sends chills down my spine. Derek Hale. Why is he here and why does he creep me out? The black Camaro feels like a shadow over the school, a constant reminder that Beacon Hills isn’t that safe after all.
Unlike in a room com when our eyes locked, and I didn’t look away it was because I was scared. But I couldn’t show that. Never.
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  3rd pov
Derek’s eyes stayed on the unnamed girl as she walked away until he heard his car door open. “Who is she?” he asked as Scott slid into the front seat.
Stiles clambered into the back seat, making Derek internally wince at the mud on his shoes, “Who?” He said loudly as if he was in some TV show.
Derek rolled his eyes and looked at Scott, just hoping someone would be normal. “Um, I’m not sure. She’s from a different middle school. kinda keeps to herself,”
“Is this the scary chick from chemistry?” Stiles's head popped between the two front seats.
“Yup, What’s her name again?” Scott said, flinging his head back. “(Y/N)?”
“Yeah (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Really sarcastic, kinda scary, and would probably start a fight. Remind you of anyone?” Stiles looked at Derek.
Derek raised an eyebrow at the boy, “You’re scared of me?” Stiles mumbled something under his breath, “Put your belts on. I don’t need more problems,”
As Derek backed out his parking spot Scott piped up, “Why do you wanna know anyway?”
“Hm? Just wondered. Something about her doesn’t seem quite…right,”
“Like supernatural?” Stiles asked, popping his head through again. “Can’t you use your werewolf smell to tell?” Derek rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. In truth she didn’t have a smell, unlike Stiles where Derek could smell his emotions, she didn’t have anything. Or maybe he just couldn’t tell. Derek didn’t like not knowing.
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 (Y/N) pov
Another day, same old school stuff. My mum, who used to resent some of the clothes I’d wear, said nothing as I walked out in grey skinny jeans, Star Wars tee, and dark green shirt.
It was winter now and the walks home and to school were getting darker. Last night it felt like someone lingered around every corner, but I was alone. The walk to school was only made better as I knew the sun was rising.
My mum didn’t finish work till 5 but something was telling me I shouldn’t walk home tonight. Instead, I told her I was going to study support and would be finished around 5. Luckily, she offered to swing by after to pick me up meaning I wouldn’t be leaving school till about 5:15.
All the hope of my friends staying with me went out the window. One was sick, one had to leave early for a dentist appointment, and the last didn’t want to stay back that long because she had an online tournament that night. So, I was going to be alone.
Chemistry study support lasted from the end of school, 3:30, till 4:30. What I was going to do after, I don’t know. But alas I took the walk to chemistry after school and figured the school, at least, was safe.
Kinda.
While Mr. Harrison hatted everyone in his class equally, he was still required to do at least one after school study support class. No one ever went. I’d even emailed him the night before to make sure it was still on. He said it was though and even double-checked in chemistry first thing that I was still going, probably wanted to see if he could not go himself. He didn’t linger long though as after asking me Stiles station started smoking and he quickly went to yell at the boy.
both tragically and thankfully I walked to his class after the bell. As expected when I stepped in his class it was empty. Well apart from the man sat at his desk, moodily grading papers. He looked up as I entered, “You came,” his voice was as motioned as always.
“Yup,” I gave an awkward smile. Quickly I went to my sent, pulling out my chemistry stuff. I figured if I was going to be here I might as well study, “Sir can you how I went wrong on this question?”
The eye-roll he barely tried to hide spoke volumes. Alas, he did saunter over to my desk to brutally tell me where I had gone wrong. Just as he finished his spiel the door opened. “You’re late Stiles,” he said, not looking away from my paper.
“Sorry, Sir. Coach- “
“Sit down,” Mr. Harrison sauntered away from my desk over to his. He pulled out two poly pockets filled with sheets and handed Stiles and me a packet. “Study this. I need to go to the photocopier and if a single thing is out of place when I come back, I’ll know who did it,” his stormy gaze was met with two pairs of uncaring teenage eyes before he all but stormed out the class.
As I glanced over the papers, I realised I would rather wait in the parking lot. I couldn’t help chuckling a little before I packed up. Stiles shifted in his seat, “Where are you going?” he stuttered a little.
I looked up from my desk to see him looking at me, but he looked straight down. “Anywhere but here. I came for study support not to proofread a book,”
“You chose to be here?”
“Yeah,” I said with a fake preppy smile, “apparently I really do hate myself,” I walked to the front of the class. “Detention?” he nodded with an awkward smile before sulking in his chair, tapping his pencil. He had the same habit each time he got embarrassed in class which was too often. “What’d you do?”
“Scott put too much of the enzyme in and then there was smoke, but it was only a little. And I got the blame! Because apparently coach wouldn’t miss me at practice,”
“Well that’s bull,” I said. Stiles just kinda nodded and somehow sulked further. “How longs your detention?”
“Till 4 or something. I mean you’ve probably had worse but still,”
I had to try hold in a laugh as I moved to sit on the desk across from Stiles. “Nope.” I chuckled. His eyebrows scrunched and damn his eyes, “I’ve never had detention,”
“Really? I mean no offence but like I just assumed because well you know- “
My sigh cut him off, “I’m what? Scary? Yeah, I get it but I’m not actually a bad person,”
“I never meant that. It's just you are a bit…” he seemed to think, “Intimidating. Like you look important and as if you’ve got somewhere to be and I don’t want to get in your way,”
“The only place I want to be is home,” I said, “At home, alone, watching some geeky movie with popcorn. But alas, here I am,”
Stiles paused, even stopping from tapping his pencil, “Sweet, salted, or butter popcorn?”
I paused for dramatic effect, “microwave popcorn, from the corner shop, butter – but! With sweet popcorn topping from a shaker,”
He groaned, “That sounds amazing,”
“It is,”
We fell back into silence. “If you could movie marathon any series,” Stiles started “What one would you chose?”
“Star Wars. Easy,”
“Really?” he asked, his jaw seemingly hanging off.
“Yeah,” I grinned, moving my plaid shirt out of the way to show the death star on my tee. Though I had worn it so often the print had faded, “what did you expect?”
“Some horror film or something. I didn’t expect you to be- “
“A massive geek?” Stiles laughed and a bubble formed in my chest, “Same question. What movie series? And what snacks?”
Somehow this turned into a 20-minute convo on movies before Harrison came back. “You’re still here?” he asked. “You know what just go. I’ve got better things to do than babysit two teenagers,” he didn’t have to tell us twice and we bolted for the door before he could change his mind.
“I can’t believe I chose to go there,” I laughed as we walked through the corridor.
“I know,” Stiles laugh was becoming a favourite sound of mine, “I mean maybe it’s a good thing. Now I know you’re not scary. And someone who finally loves Star Wars,”
“If you ever want to geek out?” I said, opening my arms as he opened the door to the outside “I’m down to talk Star Wars,”
The parking lot was desolate apart from 3 cars; Stiles, Mr. Harrisons, and some other car in the back corner of the lot. Stiles nodded to the car “Is that yours?”
“I don’t have a car,” I said, my eyes stuck on the car for some reason. I didn’t want to look away.
Stiles brought me back to reality “How are you getting home?”
I forced my eyes away and back towards the boy in front of me, “Um my mum said she'd pick me up after work,”
“When is she coming?” he asked, checking the time on his phone.
“like…5:20?” I said.
His eyes went wide, “So you’re just gonna sit here for over an hour?” I shrugged. He glanced at the blue truck, “Do you want a lift?”
“Um, are you sure? I wouldn’t want to- “
“It's fine yeah. I mean unless you don’t want to then I get it but um… I don’t mind.”
Silence. The blush on his checks made mine flare-up. “Hum, that would be great. I’ll text my mum then,”
“Its no problem. Where about do you stay?” when I told him something seemed to dawn on him, “you only live like 5 minutes from me,”
“Yeah you pass me in your truck every morning,” I said as I clambered into the passenger seat. “Nice car,”
“Thanks,” a goofy smile stretched his face, proud of himself. I couldn’t help smiling a little.
While the conversation was awkward and clunky it was honestly better than I had had with my friends at lunch. As we were driving, I got the same feeling I got last night. I kept glancing in the wing mirror. “Are you okay?” Stiles asked.
“That car,” I said, “in the wing mirror,” I saw him glance at it in the rear-view mirror. His eyes went back to the road but jumped back to the car almost instantly, “Is that from school?”
“Maybe they're going the same way?” he said.
“Why didn’t we notice them leave though?”
Stiles's eyes went back to the road, “I’ve got an idea,” he said as he put on his indicator. One left turn, then a right, then a left. the car was still there, “It following us,”
“But- “
“One's an incident, twos a coincidence, threes a pattern,” he reached into his pocket and handed me his phone, “text Scott,”
“Why Scott? Isn’t your dad the sheriff?” Stiles said nothing. Glancing at him, then the car, then the phone. I opened the phone and went to contacts, “Do you want him on speaker?”
“Don’t call!” Stiles looked at me quickly before putting his eyes on the road, “You need to trust me on this one. Text him. Tell him I’m going to Derek’s and to meet me there,”
“Like Derek hale? The murder?”
Stiles glanced at me, “I may not like the guy but believe it or not he’s one of the good guys. Kind of. Just trust me. Please?”
I nodded and opened Scott’s contact as I saw the car follow us around another corner.
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pastelbatfandoms · 5 years ago
Text
Get to know my character
Doing this for My OC Marianna. Peter Hale’s Girl from Teen Wolf.
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01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? Marianna is a Spanish name and I am loosely basing her off of The Desert Wolf,which is why I chose that name. Even though Marianna is Native American. 
02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? Peter is definitely a Weakness,and her Insecurity over how she doesn’t feel like she’s strong enough to handle him. Turns out she was wrong. Peter is as weak and Vulnerable around Marianna,as he has told her “They are Imprinted and that can’t be broken.” Though when he told her that he was stalking her and showing his weakness in more Aggressive ways. That has stopped since he turned Marianna and became her Alpha and a Father. 
03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? Her Strength and eyes paired with that smile that she knows can usually charm Peter into doing anything. 
04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) What others find Irritating,like Peter’s Sass and Sarcastic Wit,Marianna finds Funny and Sexy. They both share the same dark humor. As well as his fierce protectiveness for those he truly cares about like Herself,Malia and Derek. 
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Physically? I mean that’s what attracted her to him in the first place,though he was younger then,but seeing him older didn’t deter her,it was more the History between them that did that. Peter is cute when he’s younger and still exudes that Charm and Confidence but as an Adult he is even hotter and that Primal Werewolf part of him doesn’t hurt either.
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05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? Definitely Confident. Though she didn’t have much experience until she met Peter. 
06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?Not Hobbies although Peter isn’t one for Teen Drama but Marianna is mature for her age,her denying she still felt a connection between them or had feelings for him after they broke up,is what irritated Peter though and spurred him on to pursue her more. After becoming her Alpha Peter found out an interest of hers that though surprised him,intrigued him more,That she was a Little,or at her age just very Childlike,he was already Marianna’s Alpha which has it’s Dom Tendencies,Sexual and not,so being her Daddy Wolf wasn’t much different and something that wasn’t new to him. But was made more special because of there deeper connection. 
07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? Besides Growling when she feels threatened and her little girl voice when she wants something from Peter...It works on Derek too. 
08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? Her loner personality,even surrounded by so many Friends. She also has a quick temper which Peter sometimes reigns in sometimes encourages. 
09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? Being a White Wolf,Marianna is partial to Winter just because she can blend into The Snow better. Her favorite Holiday is her Birthday because her Pack,especially Peter ,spoils her and her Friends always take her some place fun. 
10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? A mixture of both.
11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? She’s a Wolf so...alot at first lol when she grows and becomes Queen to Peter’s Alpha she is more calm but anyone who comes for Her Family will definitely feel her rage. 
12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? Her Powers,She grew up a Witch,her Mother being a Shaman,but her favored Magic is her Telekinesis.
13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? She’s a heavy sleeper and can rarely sleep without Peter. Especially as a Human because he was so warm.
14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? She did live with Scott and his Mom after her Parents,who were Drifters left to Mexico. After High School she went to Arizona with Peter which is where they tried there hand at there own pack and had Malia.
15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. The Argents (Except Alison and her Dad),and any other Hunters that come for her Daughter or Peter. 
16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? lol Definitely more of The Athletic type now. Especially when it comes to sparring with Peter or Derek or Erica. before she used to be a Cheerleader,with the insistence of Lydia. But Marianna still loves watching a Movie or reading a Book while curled on Peter’s lap. 
17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? She is both a Queen and a Mother. 
18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? She really doesn’t mind as long as her loved one’s are with her. It could be a Loft,an Apartment Downtown or a Cabin in The Forest. 
19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?  She tended to avoid them as a Human,but as a Wolf well that’s a different story. Marianna is definitely well trained now. 
20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? Yes,Dogs of all kinds. Wolves,Coyotes and Wild Cats as well. 
I mean would Lycanthrope be too on the nose? lol
21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? Losing there Family,she’s already lost one of her Best Friends and members of her Pack,I don’t think she could bear to lose another. Especially Stiles,Lydia,Peter and Malia. 
22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? After becoming a Were and joining The Hale Family,Marianna received A Tattoo of the Triskelion on her inner wrist,signifying her Pack. 
23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? Marianna tended to slack off at school,much like Stiles,but she had a fondness for World History and got good enough grades to remain on The Cheer Squad. 
24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? Personality wise? Powerful,Charming,Intelligent,Obsessive,Aggressive,Vengeful (when younger) Cunning,A Smart Ass,Fun,and a great Teacher as well as Father. (though he may not believe the latter) Peter can also be Sensitive and a good listener when in private. 
25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? She’s already lived through it all and came out alive,she tends to not live in regret and taught Peter to not live in the past. 
26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? I mean...I’ll make an A-Z Headcanon for Peter ♥
27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? lol as a Human,ditching school,but it would probably be with Stiles and Scott,getting caught by Sheriff Stilinski who would tell them to go back to school and that Stiles was Grounded. 
28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? No idea. Maybe Dance. 
29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? Almost Died.
30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? In Little Space (which is around 12 yrs.) She likes Coloring,Stuffies,Watching Wrestling,and playing with Daddy. Her little space is less when she becomes a Mother,but that’s not a bad thing. Otherwise she likes going out Dancing,Reading Murder Mystery’s with Peter,Watching Scary Movies,which Peter tends to make fun of her for.
”Haven’t you been through worse? Those aren’t even real.” “Peter shut up.” 
31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? They wouldn’t enjoy but if she had to she will. 
32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? A Dinner Date with Roses,then going out into the night in there Wolf forms and playing Chase games,Marianna always lets Peter catch her though because she likes the end result ;)
33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? The Loft or The Woods in her Wolf form. 
34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) She’s a Carnivore ;) 
35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? Not anymore. She will die protecting her Pack or she won’t die at all. 
36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? No. She had PTSD for awhile after what happened with Peter and later having to leave him and Malia. But that’s more mental. 
37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? When someone is obviously lying,making preconceived notions about a person,particularly Peter,even though she has done it. Hunters and pretty much everything they stand for,sorry Allison...Jealously even though she can get that way too. Though if it’s done in a protective way she doesn’t mind. Hard to rule that out with Werewolves though,especially an Alpha. 
38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? Rain or Snow. 
39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? That she’s a Rebel and doesn’t care for Authority,which is kinda true. That she doesn’t make good Decisions and is letting Peter control her which is not true. 
40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? Well not everyone knows about her Little side or about Peter and Marianna’s kinkier side and they don’t need to.
41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? Not Blood Family. But her Foster family (The McCalls),Her Friends,Her Alpha,Her Daughter and her Pack affect her daily life,they have to. 
42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? No,though Peter probably wishes he could change a few things...
43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? Just her little side and only Peter,Derek and Stiles knows about that. 
44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? If she had lost Peter and Malia to The Hunters. 
45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? Both. She can be rather stubborn and only her Girl Friends,Stiles and later Peter have seen her Cry. But she does open up a bit more after having Malia.
46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? If Peter’s sitting in his favorite Velvet chair or the couch,Marianna will crawl up on his lap and nuzzle him,Peter usually doesn’t mind,causally stroking her hair as he talks to the group. Unless he’s upset then it takes a bit more prodding on her part. 
47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? A bit. As a Human she was usually just a part of the fun,unless she wanted to spend time alone. As a Wolf she’s a bit more out going and Authoritative especially as an Alpha. 
48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? Peter. Just being Peter lol Especially when she was trying to hide her feelings from him.
49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? Before they got back together,when Peter had some issues and was stalking her and killing those around her,she would have nightmares about him attacking her or turning her. As an Adult after she had to leave Malia and Peter,Marianna had nightmares about The Hunters killing them. 
50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? Done that. It was in a life or death situation when she finally admitted,tearfully that she still loved him. After he recovered Peter told Marianna he was madly in love with her and Marianna finally accepted him for who he was.  
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fearlyssa · 6 years ago
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Something to consider
In honor of Karlie’s birthday today here’s something for those who don't believe Taylor could be with Karlie because they chose to only believe Taylor’s own words: a list of the lyrics on Reputation (Taylor’s own words) that reference Karlie vs those that reference Joe. I tried my best to be impartial and include everything on both sides but just a warning it’s SUPER long! So if you don’t feel like reading it or don’t have the time then keep scrolling. But for anyone who’s interested here’s what I came up with (including explanations of the references and links if I have them; feel free to disagree or add any I missed, I tried to think of everything so I realize some may be a bit of a stretch)
Lyrics that point to Karlie:
Ready for it:
1. Younger than my exes (she’s 26 today, younger than most people Taylor has supposedly dated, male or female)
2. No one has to know (they’re closeted)
End Game:
3. We got big reputations (they’re both famous; Joe was relatively unknown until recently)
4. You and me would be a big conversation (they’re both famous and both women who are supposedly dating men so if they were found out - at least right now - it would cause a scandal)
Don't blame me:
5. I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I'd lose my mind
6. For you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face (This applies to the line above as well; her reputation would be ruined if people found out she was lying about her dating life causing her to “fall from grace” but she loves her enough to risk it by continuing to date her secretly)
7. I once was poison ivy but now I’m your Daisy (at first listen this line might sound like nothing more than a Mavel and/or Great Gatsby reference but according to this person they both like Marvel comics and check out how the daisy she drew in the handwritten lyrics in one of the Reputation magazines looks just like the one Karlie posted from their Big Sur trip in 2014. 👀
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Delicate:
8. Dark jeans and your Nikes (she models for Adidas now but was doing Nike ads when they met)
9. Never seen that color blue (maybe a stretch but Karlie's eyes are a shade of green that can sometimes look blue so that may be a shade of blue she's never seen before. And I won’t add this to the list because it’s not Karlie-specific but the girls back home line is also not necessarily straight as lesbians and bisexuals, just like guys, date women and ‘back home’ can reference anyone who’s not from exactly where you’re from. They’re from different parts of the country for instance)
So it goes:
10. All eyes on us (they're both famous, have been on stage together three times and used to often be seen together by paps in public - which I do believe was on purpose; this line reminds me of the chorus of This is what you came for too)
11. Lipstick on your face (there's candids of Karlie with lipstick smudged on her face in pictures with Taylor from July 14th 2014 - as well as pictures of Taylor from her 25th birthday - and I believe another day too -, where she’s with Karlie and has on one shade of lipstick but a while has Karlie’s shade of lipstick smudged over hers and vice versa. Note how their lipstick looks in the top two photos from her birthday party compared vs the bottom two)
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Gorgous:
12. I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk (the weird way Karlie says important)
13. Your magnetic field being a little too strong (they’re very physically affectionate with each other and often bump shoulders when sitting next to each other as if they literally have magnets in them)
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14. I got a boyfriend, he's older than us (she often dates guys older than her and Karlie is younger than them and her. Imo it refers to her bearding with Calvin specifically)
15. You’re so Gorgeous I can’t say anything to your face (At VSFS 2013 where they first met Taylor looks in awe of her like she doesn’t know what to say. She definitely looks like she thinks she’s gorgeous and while the term could refer to anyone, it's usually a female descriptor and she's literally a model for a living who is known for her beauty and has, seemingly on purpose, used the word on IG right around when the song came out. And on an unrelated note I also want to point out that the ‘If you got a girlfriend’ line is not strictly male-oriented so although it’s not specifically Karlie-related it could still apply to a bisexual or lesbian woman)
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King of my heart:
16. like trying on clothes (another somewhat female reference and she's a model so she does that for a living so therefore even more often than most people)
17. Move to me like a Motown beat (As mentioned in the caption of their IG post about it she & Karlie listened to Motown while getting ready for the Met Gala in 2014 so it's safe to say they’re both fans of the genre and enjoy listening to it together)
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18. American queen (I know they're both American but Karlie has referred to her as an American dream before which you'll notice was the original lyrics when Taylor was writing & recording the song)
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19. Your love is a secret I'm hoping, praying, dying to keep (this is pretty obvious but if she’s closeted then her love life is obviously a secret she’d want to keep)
20. Drinking beer out of plastic cups (I know this line is pretty general and she seems to be referring to a different time when she was up on a roof but it should be noted that the only time she’s been seen drinking beer in a plastic cup prior to the album coming out she was with Karlie)
Dress:
21. Our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you (you can see them having private moments at events in candid photos and videos such at award shows, the VSFS and at the 1975 concert. All times when tons of people were around but didn’t seem to notice or care if they were affectionate with each other because everyone knows they’re close and just thinks they’re friends)
22. Golden tattoo (they wore them together at Drake's birthday party last October. And maybe this is reaching but some of them were stars and “gold star” lesbians are those who have never “been with” a man, Idk about Taylor, but Karlie is rumored to be one.)
23. I don't want you like a best friend (they’re known as best friends so that one’s obvious)
24. I’m spilling wine in the bathtub (in the photo of her and Karlie getting ready for the Met Gala in 2014 you can see that Taylor has drunk wine in the bathroom with Karlie before)
25. Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing (A common problem when you’re famous because a lot of people know OF you but don’t really KNOW you or your relationships like they might think they do. She also references this in the album prologue but when it comes to Joe, not many people knew of him before he dated her so he doesn’t have a big reputation or people who think they know him) Dancing with our hands tied:
26. I loved you in secret (again sounds like it references being closeted)
27. 25 years old (Karlie’s age up until today and *almost* Taylor’s age when Kissgate happened)
28. People started talking putting us through our paces (again sounds like it refers to Kissate; people didn't talk about her and Joe, only the media did months later when the album was already finished and she says never to believe them anyway. Plus you have to wonder how they already knew of her secret relationship with him even before pictures had come out of them together)
29. I had a bad feeling...but we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied (they were dancing closely/kind of kissing at a 1975 concert in 2014 and someone got a video and pictures that made it into many articles starting Kissgate. You can see in pictures how upset Karlie and their friends looked walking back from the concert that night carrying a very drunk Taylor. Maybe she knew there'd be a shit storm about it the next day but didn't care and did it anyway because she was so drunk. Their hands would then have been tied metaphorically speaking and they would’ve had to do what they had to do which was to keep dating guys publicly and to stop being seen alone together)
30. I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would decide us (as the world sometimes tries to do with gay relationships, not so much straight ones)
31. So baby can we dance, oh through an avalanche (same points as above ^)
Call it what you want:
32. My baby's fit like a daydream (I know "fit" is English slang but still, Karlie is quite physically fit - she literally ran a marathon like the day after the song came out and in the Vouge Best friends video Taylor mentions her shiny abs)
33. Walking with his head down (I realize she's not a man but being as tall as she is she does do that a lot)
34. So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to (some people say they're friends, others say they're in a romantic relationship, a lot of people think they broke up or are no longer friends and don’t even talk anymore etc.)
New Year's Day:
35. This is maybe a slight stretch but the references to a girl's party and polaroids that she often takes with her friends make me think of women and not really men, and as someone whose been to her house I can vouch that she has a lot of polaroids of her female friends; many of Karlie specifically displayed in her sitting room as well as a photo of them at Big Sur that she keeps in one of her bathrooms but not as many photos of guys who it’s hard to imagine would fit in all that well at a party like that but maybe that’s just me)
lyrics that refer to Joe:
In general:
1. The words he, him & his (and anything else masculine-sounding like the word handsome and king in reference to a current relationship. I guess this is a bunch of references but I didn’t actually count how many times she said he on the album because that would be a lot. lol):
Ready for it:
2. Younger than my exes (some of them anyway; her two most recent ones)
Don't blame me:
3. Toying with them older guys (he's younger than Calvin and Tom as is she however note that she's admitting to using them which seems like more of a reference to a bearding contract unless we're to believe she's admitting to being horrible to her exes)
Delicate:
4. never seen that color blue (his eyes are blue)
5. girls back home (they live in different counties)
So it goes:
6. wear you like a necklace (she has one with his initial on it. I’ve been told it’s a lesbian term as well but I didn’t add it to Karlie’s list as it’s not specific to her)
Gorgeous:
7. I got a boyfriend he's older than us -Sunset & vine (where his movie premiere was last October although we now know the song was written in September and interestingly enough the area is also well-known for it's gay bars)
King of my heart:
8. king of my heart (king is a male term and they have royalty in England)
9. Say you fancy me not fancy stuff (fancy is British slang for liking someone)
10. salute to me I'm your American queen (she’s American and he’s from the UK where they still have royalty)
Dress:
11. flashback when you met me your buzz cut, my hair bleached (if it's in fact true that they met at the Met Gala in 2016 that they both attended then that's a reference to the hairstyles they both had at the time though tbh the timeline doesn't really make sense for that to be true)
Call it what you want:
12. My baby's fit like a daydream (Fit is British slang for attractive and he's also physically fit)
13. Call it what you want (in reference to weather or not the relationship is real)
14. I want to wear his initial on a chain around my neck (because she wears a necklace with a J on it)
So there you go. I'm not saying you have to believe the album is about Karlie or not about Joe but there do appear to be a LOT more references to her so I'll just leave it up to you to decide what you want to believe, I just thought I'd post this to prove that there is in fact evidence to support Kaylor, it's not just a baseless conspiracy theory.
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rkaisha · 5 years ago
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*.・゚ MGA SEASON 5 CALLBACKS // singing & dancing hate :: 0:00 - 0:30 // me :: 2:20 - 3:11 < mashup sample :: 3:05 - 3:21 >
it’s not that aisha doesn’t believe her eyes when she receives the email-- okay it’s maybe a tiny bit that she doesn’ believe what she’s seeing. aisha may be confident, but she’s not cocky, and contrary to popular belief she thinks quite logically.
and so, her thought process had gone somewhat more or less like this: this was her first time auditionin on such a large scale. there were bound to be contestants with much more experience not only in terms of skillset but also in terms of being exposed to both audience and this program itself-- she had already seen a few faces she had recognized from watching the past season at home. her chances of making it past preliminaries were nothing other than slim, but still, she was optimistic.
and it looks like that optimism paid off. an exhilarated breath leaves her chest and she clutches slinky close in her lap, the cat disgruntled from being startled awake from a nap and clawing at her fishnet-covered thighs in an attempt to escape to her cat tower.
her hand finds her phone so she could make a very excited phone call to her cousin-- which had to be cut short because training and all, but yoorim was brimming to the edge with excitement and she just wanted a small little bit of encouragement before charging forward. jei always knew how to spur her on. after hanging up, her eyebrows furrow and she begins to browse youtube and spotify-- research.
“okay... time to get serious.”
                                              *.・゚ *.・゚ *.・゚ *.・゚ *.・゚
as always, aisha appears at the venue poised and polished from head to toe. and it’s not so much for appearances as it is for her own benefit, actually. dressing in clothes she likes and making herself look good makes her feel stronger, and that’s something that she will always stand by when people ask why she puts in so much effort.
but she didn’t have time to worry about other people.
the only person she could afford to worry about right now was herself.
even still, it was nice to see people that she recognized, and she was more than happy when bin chose to come sit next to her-- not that she could ever admit that out loud at the moment, of course. she even made a couple of new friends somehow-- as she had manged to sit in the section with the loudest calls. on the contrary of being annoyed-- she found that their energy actually did wonders to encourage her, and found her laughing a lot more than she would have been had she decided to sit by herself and withdraw from her surroundings.
but sooner than later-- her name is called and all the anxiety comes flooding back. but aisha’s motto? fake it until you make it, cliche as it is.
“hello!” she wiggles her fingers in a greeting, smile youthful and bright. “my name is heo yoorim, but i go mainly by aisha. i’m nineteen years old, fresh in my third year of high school with a lot of room to grow! i hope you enjoy my performance!”
so she closes her eyes, hands resting in front of her, fingers buried into the ruffles of her skirt. she opens her mouth once the music starts, eyes still closed. they open slowly, unfocused on any fixed point and staring mostly at the floor as she begins the second line, head tilting as her hands move up to clasp in front of her chest.
이젠 더 이상 알고 싶지 않아 i don't wanna know, know, know
she, like many others, had been momentarily stunned to see the panel of judges for this round. it couldn’t compare to seeing their pixellated faces on a livestream or youtube video. however, she couldn’t let that get to her.
더는 no, no, no 다 끝났어
so once the second song begins to mix in, her eyes snap up to find the audience and the judge panel as she finally moves, stepping out of her original position, body swaying to the switch up in the music. 
follow me follow me 날 따라 해봐 그래 그렇게 do it like do it like me
she starts to walk forward, head lifting up on the first step to shake her hair back from her face. each step is calculated, one long leg in front of the other until she’s almost at the front of the stage-- and then she circles back to center stage, taking a small breath and mentally preparing herself. she smirks at the audience as she strikes a pose before launching straight into the choreography.
반짝이는 빛 내 눈빛처럼 미로 같은 길 내 손길처럼 처음부터 끝까지 모든 게 다 멈추질 않아 내 아름다움이
there’s a reason she chose this part to begin dancing-- there was very little words and not much need for tonal correctness-- her instructor had advised that it’d be a good place to also dance, which she loved to do onstage. she loved the mix as well ( done by a friend of hers ) which was a great way to perform well.
even so, hours had gone into trying to keep her voice stable for the few parts that she did sing, constantly practicing the choreography while also memorizing the words ( which wasn’t hard ) and staying on pitch ( much harder ) while moving. she practiced them separately too, trying to get the moves as sharp as possible-- there was always room for improvement and aisha wasn’t any less harsh on herself than her teacher was.
if there’s anything that comes almost naturally to her-- it’s her expressions. but of course, she had an advantage with the mix she chose this time as opposed to the song she had performed for the preliminaries. she could show much more of her strong side this time around, her eyes strong and lips coy, corners curled into smirks and dropping into almost sneers in the blihnk of an eye-- and transitioning right back.
아름다움이 아름다움 me yeah
and there are parts where she’s stiffer she knows-- but she does her best to make up for it with her confidence, strongly pushing past the weaker parts as her cousin had advised her to do in the past. and that’s how she finishes off the performance, taking those final two steps into her final position and lifting her head so that she could face the audience, and the camera, head on.
아름다움이 yeah 아름다움 me
her chest rises and falls slowly as she pauses for a beat before clasping her hands together and dropping into a bow. straightening up, she flashes a toothy smile and waves at the panel of judges, “thank you!”
she makes her way slowly and carefully back to her seat after she returns the equipment, chest rising and falling slowly as it tries to get her breathing back to normal. it took everything in her not to run back to her seat with the adrenaline coursing through her body-- but years of public practice will do that to you.
she sinks into her seat slowly, eyes closing as she finally lets out a tiny laugh.
“that was so fun!”
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patriotsnet · 3 years ago
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How Many Seats Did Republicans Lose In The House
New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-seats-did-republicans-lose-in-the-house/
How Many Seats Did Republicans Lose In The House
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Results Summary And Analysis
Democrats take House, Republicans keep Senate in historic midterms
The Democratic Party won control of the House of Representatives in the 2018 midterm elections. The Democrats gained a net total of 41 seats from the total number of seats they had won in the 2016 elections. This was their largest gain of House seats in an election since the 1974 elections, when the Democrats gained 49 House seats. Democrats won the popular vote by more than 9.7Â;million votes or 8.6%, the largest midterm margin for any party and the largest margin on record for a minority party.
According to the Associated Press‘ statistical analysis, gerrymandering cost the Democrats an additional sixteen House seats from Republicans.
Voter turnout in this election was 50.3%, the highest turnout in a U.S. midterm election since 1914.
Note that the results summary does not include blank and over/under votes which were included in the official results or votes cast in the voided election in North Carolina’s 9th congressional district.
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Source: Election Statistics â Office of the Clerk
State
Meg Whitman’s $142million Loss
Former eBay boss Meg Whitman paid a heavy price for her losing bid to become California’s governor -; $142million.
That’s how much billionaire Whitman, pictured below in tears after her loss last night, spent on her unsuccessful bid to succeed Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger in the governor’s mansion in; Sacramento.
It was the moist any self-funded candidate has even spent on a U.S. election campaign.
But it counted for nothing as she was beaten by Democrat former California Governor Jerry Brown, who succeeded in his attempt to take charge of the cash-challenged state again.
Whitman’s big budget bid was hampered by a scandal over her hiring of an illegal immigrant housekeeper and her admission that she didn’t vote for 28 years.
Brown, 72, will now be returning to the office he last held 28 years ago. The state attorney general was California’s 34th governor during his previous tenure between 1975 to 1983 and now becomes its 39th.
Asked by Mr Seacrest if he was getting much sleep, President Obama admitted: Not much lately.
IN DELAWARE:
Democrat Chris Coons easily won Delaware’s Senate race over Republican Christine O’Donnell, a Tea Party backed candidate who struggled to shake old television footage in which she spoke out against masturbation and talked about dabbling in witchcraft.
Last night O’Donnell vowed she will not stop fighting.
‘The outcome isn’t what we worked so hard for but our voice was heard,’ she told a party of supporters.
IN KENTUCKY:
IN CALIFORNIA:
Why Did House Democrats Underperform Compared To Joe Biden
Reddit
The results of the 2020 elections pose several puzzles, one of which is the gap between Joe Bidens handsome victory in the presidential race and the Democrats disappointing performance in the House of Representatives. Biden enjoyed an edge of 7.1 million votes over President Trump, while the Democrats suffered a loss of 13 seats in the House, reducing their margin from 36 to just 10.
Turnout in the 2018 mid-term election reached its highest level in more than a century. Democrats were fervently opposed to the Trump administration and turned out in droves. Compared to its performance in 2016, the partys total House vote fell by only 2%. Without Donald Trump at the head of the ticket, Republican voters were much less enthusiastic, and the total House vote for Republican candidates fell by nearly 20% from 2016. Democratic candidates received almost 10 million more votes than Republican candidates, a margin of 8.6%, the highest ever for a party that was previously in the minority. It was, in short, a spectacular year for House Democrats.
To understand the difference this Democratic disadvantage can make, compare the 2020 presidential and House results in five critical swing states.
Table 1: Presidential versus House results
Arizona
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New Redistricting Commissions In Several States Add To Uncertainty
The announcement that California and six other states, mostly in the Midwest and Northeast, will lose House seats in the next Congress set off a wave of fundraising appeals from incumbent Democrats concerned about their efforts to hold on to their chamber majority in 2022.;
Democrats outnumber Republicans by almost 2-to-1 in the congressional delegations that will be reduced because of census data released Monday.;
But the lost seats do not automatically mean that fewer Democrats will come to Washington from the Rust Belt and Northeast.;
The bottom line is, of these seven states that are losing seats, it is entirely possible that will all be self-canceling, and there will be no net change, said Sam Wang, director of the Princeton Gerrymandering Project.;
Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, New York, Pennsylvania, California and West Virginia are each slated to lose a seat because their populations did not grow as fast as states in the South and Mountain West.
Democrats control the redistricting process in several of the states losing seats, and independent or bipartisan commissions will draw new boundaries in some of the others.;
But its hard to predict with certainty which party will come out ahead, partly because the details about where the population grew within the states will not be released until late summer or early fall. Also, efforts to redraw lines for a partisan advantage in one district could inadvertently make a neighboring district more competitive.;
Republicans Score Big Gains In House Pelosi Barely Hanging On
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Democrats expected and eagerly anticipated a blue wave that would sweep them into power in the White House, House, Senate, and state legislatures.; It didnt happen, not by a long shot.
In fact, not only did they do poorly across the board, but, as a Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee spokeswoman astutely noted, President Trump acted not as the Democrat-expected anchor but as a buoy for Republican legislative candidates.
That Democrats vastly misjudged the appeal of their radical agenda is crystal clear , and perhaps nowhere is that more evident than in the House races.; Nancy Pelosi truly expected her party to pick up seats, yet it appears its the Republicans who are on track to accomplish the 10-15 seat gains the Democrats expected in their column.
Pelosi on Election Day: “Democrats are poised to further strengthen our majority.”
Pelosi today: “I never said that we were going to pick up” seats.
Kevin McCarthy
Despite AOCs declaration that Democrats lost the House, they have so far managed to win 219 seats .
Powerline notes that Republicans have flipped 12 House seats: RealClearPolitics notes that Republicans have picked up a net of 9 House seats. RCP projects that Republicans will pick up a net 10-13 seats when the counting is done.
12 FLIPS in the House for the GOP!
CA39 Young Kim
Students For Trump
Of the House races yet to be called as of Friday, Republicans are leading in 11 of the 14 races.
Newsweek reports:
Read Also: How Many Republicans Are Needed To Vote For Impeachment
United States House Of Representatives Elections
2018 United States House of Representatives elections
The 2018 United States House of Representatives elections were held on November 6, 2018, with early voting taking place in some states in the weeks preceding that date. Voters chose representatives from all 435 congressional districts across each of the 50 U.S. states. Non-voting delegates from the District of Columbia and four of the five inhabited U.S. territories were also elected. These midterm elections took place halfway through the term of Republican President Donald Trump. On Election Day, Republicans had held a House majority since .
In the 2018 elections, the Democrats, led by Nancy Pelosi, won control of the House. The Democrats gained a net total of 41 seats from the total number of seats they had won in the 2016 elections. The 41-seat gain was the Democrats largest gain of House seats since the post-Watergate 1974 elections, when they picked up 49 seats.
Upon the opening of the 116th United States Congress, Pelosi was elected as Speaker of the House. Incumbent Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan chose not to run for another term. In November 2018, House Republicans elected Kevin McCarthy as House Minority Leader.
Gop Women Made Big Gains
While the majority of the Republican caucus will still be men come 2021, there will be far more Republican women in Congress than there were this year. So far, it looks like at least 26 GOP women will be in the House next year, surpassing the record of 25 from the 109th Congress. Thats thanks in part to the record number of non-incumbent Republican women 15 whove won House contests. And its also because of how well Republican women did in tight races. The table below shows the Republican women who ran in Democratic-held House districts that were at least potentially competitive,1 according to FiveThirtyEights forecast. As of this writing, seven of them have won.
GOP women have flipped several Democratic seats
Republican women running for potentially competitive Democratic-held House seats and the status of their race as of 4:30 p.m Eastern on Nov. 11
District D+22.1
Results are unofficial. Races are counted as projected only if the projection comes from ABC News. Excludes races in which the Republican candidate has either a less than 1 in 100 chance or greater than 99 in 100 chance of winning.
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Rep. Ami Bera of California, the fundraising chair for the moderate NewDem Action Fund, said in an interview with BuzzFeed News that he was disappointed by the election results.
I described the election a little bit different than Speaker Pelosi, Bera said. I think our goal for many of us as Democrats is not to have any of our colleagues lose. So by that metric, you know, we lost some really valuable members of Congress, and for that I’m sad, and that bothers me.
Still, Bera said he didnt see what Democrats could have done differently in several races they lost, pointing to Rep. Joe Cunninghams loss in South Carolina.
There’s nothing about his campaign that we could have improved on raised resources to get his message out and at the end of the day, he lost by one percentage point in a district that I bet Trump is gonna win by 10 to 13 points, Bera said. So, you know, that’s just tough terrain.
But the party clearly needs to better understand some voters of color, Bera said, who broke in higher numbers for Trump this cycle than they did four years ago.
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has also been open about discussing Democrats communication failures this cycle.
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In the weeks since Election Day, she has argued that moderates were not digitally strategic enough during their campaigns.
And Bera said he and his caucus members arent just brushing off Ocasio-Cortezs advice.
There may not be an answer. It may be that theyre screwed.
Its Not All Bad News For Democrats
Representative Kevin McCarthy discusses if Republicans can take back the House in 2020
While it was unquestionably a good night for Republicans, Democrats still held onto most of the seats they won in 2018 and will continue to be the majority party in the House. Thats in part because they retained most of the suburban districts they picked up in 2018.
Of the 233 seats that Democrats held coming into the election,2 186 of them were in districts that were predominantly or partly suburban in nature, according to density categorizations by Bloombergs CityLab. Thus far, Democrats have lost seven of those seats, but they captured one GOP-held suburban seat around Atlanta. And thanks to redistricting, theyve also won two formerly Republican seats around Greensboro and Raleigh in North Carolina, which reflect the partys strength in more populous areas.
Because of their relative success in the suburbs, Democrats kept many seats in places President Trump won in 2016. Coming into the election, Democrats held 30 seats in districts Trump carried in 2016, and they wouldve lost their majority if theyd lost more than half of them . But theyve won 18 of them so far and picked up one from the GOP . In fact, more than half of Republicans gains have come in seats representing places that Trump won by a pretty sizable margin in 2016. Well have to wait a bit before data can tell us how congressional districts voted in 2020,3 but for now it seems many Republican gains were made by picking off the lowest-hanging fruit.
Don’t Miss: Why Is There Republicans And Democrats
House Democrats May Well Have To Contend With A Republican Senate
House Democrats have spent the past two years passing bills at a rapid clip, on everything from sweeping anti-corruption reforms to lowering the cost of prescription drugs to a $1.5 trillion infrastructure bill. But the vast majority of these bills were dead on arrival in the US Senate. It seems likely this ambitious agenda could continue to be on ice, unless Democrats flip two Georgia Senate runoff races that will be decided in January.
One of the few bipartisan pieces of legislation Pelosi, Mitch McConnell, and President Trump were able to agree on was the $2.2 trillion CARES Act at the beginning of the pandemic; a second stimulus package has been held up by partisan bickering. McConnell recently signaled willingness to pass another stimulus package before the end of the year. He for the Senates lame-duck session but was vague on concrete details.
Even on infrastructure one of the few places where there seemed to be bipartisan agreement getting a bill through could be elusive. Should Democrats flip the Senate, Pelosi has provided them a road map.
But its too early to say if they will get to use it.
Update: This piece was updated with recent Decision Desk calls in several key House races.
A White House In Disorder
The tweet came without warning, on the day of the South Carolina primary. Watching television aboard Air Force One, on a flight back from his summit in Singapore with Kim Jong-un, the North Korean despot, Mr. Trump decreed that Representative Mark Sanford of South Carolina must be defeated.
Mr. Sanford, an idiosyncratic conservative who routinely criticized the president, was in a tough primary battle with Katie Arrington, a state legislator running as a Trump loyalist. Hours after Mr. Trumps message, Mr. Sanford conceded defeat.
If Mr. Sanford suffered in June for his apostasy, Mr. Trumps party paid another price Tuesday: Ms. Arrington lost the general election in a heavily Republican district to Joe Cunningham, a Democrat.
Mr. Trumps capricious approach to politics was destabilizing for Republicans up and down the ballot, leaving candidates exposed to the presidents whims and grievances and the machinations of White House advisers. Rather than approaching the midterm campaign as a task of holding together a political coalition and steering it to victory, Mr. Trump focused chiefly on rewarding perceived friends and punishing those who crossed him.
The endorsement was off. The day after Idahos primary, Mr. Trump phoned the triumphant Mr. Little and, unaware of the tapes genesis, asked: Did you see that video?
Recommended Reading: Should Republicans Vote In Democratic Primary
How Did State Populations Change From 2010 To 2020
The U.S. population has increased by 7.4% since the last Census, to a total of;331,449,281 people.
California is the most populous state with 39,538,223 people, while Wyoming is the smallest state at 576,851 people.
Utah was the state with the fastest growing population over the last decade, increasing by 18.4%, while West Virginia had the most population loss, dipping 3.2%.;
What Was The Outlook Prior To The Election
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Republicans needed to get to 218 seats to win back the majority they lost in 2018. The National Republican Congressional Committee, the campaign arm of House Republicans, in early 2019 identified dozens of Democratic-held districts to target. They included;30 Democrats;who were elected or re-elected in 2018 in districts that voted for President Donald Trump in 2016. All but one Dave Loebsack of Iowa sought re-election. Most were first-term members who defeated or succeeded Republicans in the 2018 election. Republicans won some of these Trump Democrat districts but needed to unseat most to win back control of the House.
The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, the campaign arm of House Democrats, identified more than 40 Frontline Democrats it expected to have very competitive re-election campaigns. Many of these members represented;suburban districts;that have diversified their populations in recent years. In most of these districts, Democrats were running for re-election for the first time. The Frontline Democrats amassed large campaign funds.
Democrats also identified more than three dozen Republican-held districts they intended to target, including seven in Texas.
Democrats also made a play for the suburban Texas districts of retiring Republican Reps.;Pete Olson;of the 22nd District and Kenny Marchant of the 24th District. They lost the 22nd District, but the 24th is currently too close to call, with Republican Beth Van Duyne leading.
Also Check: Who Is Correct Democrats Or Republicans
New Yorks Congressional Seats Over Time
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And several key states with changes coming to their maps California, Colorado, Michigan and Montana have independent commissions tasked with determining new legislative boundaries on a nonpartisan or bipartisan basis.
The parties have this natural inclination to go for broke, say, Weve got a new seat, lets grab it and take the opportunity we have, said Bernard Grofman, a political science professor at the University of California, Irvine, who has served as a special master for court-ordered redistricting in multiple states. For Republicans, he said, picking up new seats and stopping Joe Biden is going to have a high, high priority, even though they may pay a big political price down the road.
The 2021 redistricting process will also be the first time since 1961 that a raft of mostly Southern states will not have their maps subject to a preclearance process from the Justice Department, following the Supreme Courts 2013 decision to strike down Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act. The court last month heard arguments that could undo more elements of the act that would impede the ability to sue to block new maps.
Without having to seek preclearance, Republicans in states where they control all levers of government Florida, Georgia and Texas, to name three will have far more influence on the new maps than they have had in past reapportionment cycles.
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