#i luv mijoo so much

[marymekpop]

⟢ highlight of the hour: the good bad mother [5/14] ⟣

homecoming

[rkcheri]

﹡   𝐌𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒❺ EPISODE 8    ━━  𝗥𝗢𝗬𝗔𝗟𝖥𝖫𝖴𝖲𝖧  ◆  COACH CHERI .

first place comes as a surprise -- not because mijoo didn’t see it coming, no, it definitely wasn’t that. but because she’s learned time and time again not to put her expectations too high, no matter the talent and hard work that pulses between veins and exhausted bones and beads of sweat that trembled against desperate entities. 

( a part of her wills expectations to be thin, but they rise more and more as names are called and their team has yet to come -- she sees sunmi’s team place last and her heart falls, remembering throughout the episode how hard their team worked and how much her best friend was trying, although harshly, to help them. and the way that same heart flutters at the sight of mason, his smile as his team, trc -- antidote -- receives third place )

she wants to hope the best for them, she wills it in every way she can, dashing hearts, crossing fingers -- sprinkling mythical fairy dust in every corner of her mind up until the winners are announced. they’ve worked hard for this, but mijoo has tasted victory once before and lost it all in the same breath. it’s why, watching the show in real-time with nayoung, she’s on edge; fingers clutching tightly to her member’s as they baek jiyoung recited the first place of the night and ultimately, who would be departing from them. 

it’s bittersweet -- a perfect win with a devastating loss paired with it.

mijoo didn’t see it coming, she couldn’t -- wouldn’t dream of assuming who out of the five would leave them but there he goes, his whimsical smile last seen moments before his name is called and mijoo has her breath caught between a gasp and a choked up sob. 

she barely hears the rest of the monologue go by -- negating her attention elsewhere now, fingers loose from nayoung’s hold to grab her phone and immediately text a message to hyojin. 

( after she had left their last run through of their stage, she had distributed her cell phone to each -- inciting that if ever they needed someone to talk to, whether to calm their nerves or to recommend a good chicken place, she was always free to message. emergency or not, mijoo left her line open. only now, it seemed she would have to reach out first )

﹡* ❪  SMS ☎︎ ┊  김효진  ❫  ⨯

… 💌 ᵎ  i just saw the last episode, you did amazing, hyojin-ssi! … 💌 ᵎ  this may be the end for you on the mgas, but please know that a good opportunity is always around the corner! … 💌 ᵎ  if you still feel bad, i’ll treat you to ice cream next time, yes?

it’s the least she can do, she knows loss well. she’s felt it to the bone -- seen it in the eyes of her team many moons ago. mijoo had hoped to never feel it again, but as she sees the rest of the taped episode go by, she knows this is the last she’ll keep her hopes up so high.

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but first place was first place and mijoo still thought winners deserved to celebrate. it’s why, when the topic had come up among the coaches -- all in favor of ice cream cake -- it was decided instantly, that while the winners could have their cake, it wouldn’t be fun to just let them eat it like that, right?

a plan is set into motion: a small prank to congratulate them on all their hard work. while mijoo wasn’t one to overly praise, she did think such achievements deserved their own rewards. so, when the day came -- she comes flying into the room, singing her own little tune, a little too happily, a little too ‘clumsily’ she comes, swinging this way and that as she comes closer and closer to the little group until her words stop and she’s ready to hand over the cake to the first to come her way. 

and it’s a one-two exchange, one she doesn’t usually mess up but -- oops! there goes her fingers and oh no! there goes the cake. 

 by the way her facial expressions pull into a look of horror, mirrored heavily upon the other’s faces, mijoo can’t help the way her lips threaten to spill into laughter rather than the exaggerated ‘o’ they fell into at the get-go. 

it was priceless, watching them in unison stare in horror as the cake fell from grace -- kyungsoo was hilarious as he stood, arms outstretched, like the cake would just reverse back and fall into his hands, instead -- even to mijoo’s eye, she felt her own stomach plummet at the sight of a delicious cake going to waste but alas, all in the name of comedy. an entire gotcha! moment that spills into laughter as she tries to stop the giggles from over taking her. it’s quickly relieved when seolhyun and wonwoo come in after her with another cake, resolving the fiasco that was the ‘fallen cake’ mission 001. ( that doesn’t save her from sighing, in the end, as she cleans up the rest of the cake, piling it into the box it had fallen from ) 

time moves on, all is forgiven ( at least that’s what mijoo thinks ) as they’re giving their slices and seated across from one another. enjoying their time, their victory in the end when eric suggests calling hyojin and mijoo finds herself growing lighter. another bittersweet feeling taking over as she forks one helping after another between her lips as she hears the tone beep, waiting for the receiver to answer: and he does before long, and mijoo can’t help but smile at the sight of him beaming at them without fail.

it sucks, that he’s not there with them but she hopes it’ll pass, the guilt. 

( it will, she thinks, it has to )

“don’t worry, hyojin-ssi! when this is all over, we’ll go out for cake, all of us -- together!”

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 in the same breath, cake and all, they’re still as serious as ever. it’s a determination that mirrors the one mijoo had felt the week before but this time, she feels the chills. the determination to do better than the last, to prove that last week wasn’t a fluke -- that they weren’t just going to be complacent because of this win. 

song choices are hard to come by. when they agree on one, they’re far too contemplative on another. and by some force, mijoo finds herself throwing in the suggestion of adding a feminine element, they have been dominantly suggesting male songs, and while they had one girl: pretty heejin-ssi, she thought it would be interesting if ... -- perhaps ... “a girl group, maybe?” and she waits, with expectant eyes as the group digests her words.

( they end up agreeing on she’z ‘luv’ and mijoo couldn’t have been more ecstatic -- if the mimicing of the iconic L-O-V-E hand movements wasn’t a tell-tale sign )

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as choreography goes, mijoo is no where near as athletic as any of the team. watching, and grimacing, when seolhyun brings up the idea of doing squats in order to build the muscle and endurance in order to pull of the more complicated movements at the beginning of the performance.

purposely pretending not to notice the look seolhyun passes her way when she brings it up -- personally praying she’s not forced to participate for team morale. ( thanking god when the day passes and she seems to be saved from the torture that would come to her thighs )

in the days leading up to the performance, while she’s not as busy seolhyun or wonwoo, she’s still confined by her own practices; running back and forth from the practice rooms to the vocal lessons that when she’s able to come visit the team while the other coaches are away, it’s at a time when they’re doing the dread squats seolhyun had suggested and mijoo can’t help but laugh ( trying with utmost care to not sound like some wicked stepmother as she did so ) at the sight: one by one, the four of them were lined up doing squats all while harmonizing various parts of their song ( a practice mijoo had suggested after the four had finished singing flo-rida’s low for the millionth time ) ; phone in hand as she filmed footage to send to the coach group chat she shared with seolhyun and wonwoo. 

an attached ‘🤪🦵🦵 LEG DAY FOR DAYS’ comment sent along with the video shortly after.

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perhaps, saying all was forgiven was spoken too soon. let it be known now, mijoo wasn’t partial to scary things.

she did not take kindly to being scared.

whether intentional or not, all she can remember is the memes that followed her ridiculous screams during royal survival. honestly, she had thought her screaming career had ended then and there. dusted her hands of anything scary and that was that.

but here it is, in plain sight -- hidden beneath smiles and false senses of securities as she and ella are walking, talking simultaneously -- an unfortunate rookie move in this case -- as the door is pushed open and --

“boo!” 

she’s immediately collapsing on the floor, crawling backwards into the hall, screaming at the top of her godly lungs, “DEMONS! DEMONS!” -- her might propelling whatever sound could come from her all while pointing a finger into the room. it was a dirty trick and one mijoo probably should have saw coming but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still feel hurt by it.

her hurt is shown in the case of pouts and the tears that were rounding tear-ducts as she’s helped up from her fetal position at the other side of the hallway by suwoong. she’s still sniffling, fingers to her heart, hoping to calm it’s racing pulse, all while mumbling, “i forgive you but that was really, really mean.”

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one day, it’s a day of reminiscing -- and while most days, all mijoo does is avoid it. today, she finds her peace and laughs at the memories that flood her.

they’re wonderful memories, days that started her journey -- that led her all the way to here. she opens up like a book untouched, dust in the air as she breathes in the memories and laughs along the way. “my favorite performance?” she sighs, head shaking. “it’s been years. let it be known that i participated way back when in 2013 during the first mgas, so i’m not sure how relevant the performance is these days but it was our final performance. i was on a team with eclipse’s haseul, too. we performed after school sunbaenim’s ‘because of you’ and surprisingly, i rapped. i know, shocker, right? but i think that’s my most memorable because it definitely pushed my limits. we were fighting for our dreams, much like you guys are now -- and the only way we knew to win was to fight it with every inch of our potential.”

“just like how i see you guys do, every single day you come to practice. just like how i know you guys will when you get up on that stage saturday.” 

and while it’s not a promise for the better, mijoo knows ( she digresses, hopes ) there’s no regrets to follow.

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it’s too soon -- smooth sailing is an assumed default and mijoo is a fool to take to this carefree nature.

when they come for another visit, to supervise the practice again, the team announces they’ve changed the plan for the finale. this shocks them all.

enough that mijoo finds herself making a face, one that doesn’t hide her skepticism as they show her just what they meant by changing the performance. 

and of course, it was a joke.

but maybe, just maybe, it was the first time, mijoo almost felt the flame of frustration strike a chord in her ( one that was quick to be extinguished once the laughter had put a dent in the wall and allowed the flood of jest to overcome them one by one ).

again, mijoo comes with a pout -- and a, “yah! that was mean! i thought you guys were really serious!”

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in the days leading up to the performance, she’s more and more scarce as her own schedules take time away from helping but she does what she can. and she hopes that’s enough. on one of the last days, she lingers to the side; not saying much rather than watching them proceed again and again. not to the point of exhaustion but she can see their profiles well, see the improvement flexed into their bodies at each performed segment.

they’re trying their hardest, much like last week.

hopefully, this final time, victory treats them just the same. 

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𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐃   ∙    @rkella, @haseulrk, @rkmiya, @rkmason@rkwon, @hyojinrk, @rksuwoong, @rkkyungsoo, @rkheejin, & @ericxrk

[marymekpop]

⟢ highlight of the hour: the good bad mother [1/14] ⟣

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