#i luv fat dudes

[sentimental-loser]

i want a big dude to cuddle w! its cold!!!!

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Can I request a cermy berzatto x reader ? Like the reader came to the restaurant many times and carmy look pretty flustered or something. So everyone one tries to make him have a date with the reader. Hope it’s okayyyy :))

I luv this! I’m so sorry this took a while babes ): this was so buried under my drafts

Hundred times better

“Jesus- okay, you work the kitchen, and- and I guess I’ll work the register for a little.” He told his cousin, who had managed to fuck something up while working the register. How does that even happen?

Carmy attempted to fix it, grunting in annoyance when it didn’t work. You walked in quietly, he didn’t even hear you, just saw you in the corner of his eyes.

He glanced up, mouth falling open to say something. But when he looked at you, his movements paused and his mouth stayed open. You gave him a sweet smile, and a blush came over his face.

He snapped out of it, nodding and stuttering. “Uh- sorry, I’m just… having a bit of…” the cash register popped open, he sighed. “Trouble. What can I get for you?”

“You’re fine! you got it or…?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I’ll… fix this later.” He waved it off, looking back up at you, hands on his hips as he waited for your order. He listened, ringing it up.

“Alright, uhm… your total is 18.45.” He said, his eyes looking you up and down, his hands went over his face, giving you a small smile when he took your money.

“Thank you!” You told him, and even your voice had him weak in the knees. It was like honey, sweet.

You sat down, waiting for it to be brought out as you read through your book. You ignored the noises that came from the men.

“You fix it yet?” Richie yelled from inside the kitchen, looking at Carmy.

“Yes I f- yes!” He shouted, rolling his eyes as he entered the kitchen again. You glanced up, a small smile gracing your features. He was cute, you thought, watching him open the door, watching his muscles flex and his veins pop out his head. Angry, but cute.

You make it your life’s goal to come in often, so often that some of them learn your name. You know Richie, Sydney, Carmen, and a nice woman named Tina.

Carmen- or Carmy as most of them called him, was the one that intrigued you the most of all. He was the cute one- the one who smiled at no one but you, the one who complimented you every so often. You learned he was the owner.

And after a while, his chefs got tired of seeing Carmy angry and pissed off- more than he usually was. They quickly figured out what was wrong. He had a giant, fat, crush on you.

He didn’t want to accept it, but he knew the truth. In his heart.

He was packing up one day, cleaning up as Richie came up to him. He pat him on the back, Carmy jolted and shoved his hands off of him, glaring at him and beginning to walk towards the door.

“What?” He snapped finally, turning to Richie when he felt eyes burning in the back of his skull. They were outside, cars racing by.

“You should ask her out.”

“ What are you talking about, dude?” He furrowed an eyebrow.

“Y/n.”

Carmy rolled his eyes, letting out a huff and turning around.

“I’m serious! Think she seriously likes you. I catch her starin’ at you a lot when you’re not looking.” He told Carmy, wrapping an arm around him.

“No.” He grumbled out.

“Dude. Just ask her out. Sugar agrees.”

“I’m not asking her out while I’m working.”

“Then do it on your break or something.” He said, glancing over at his car. “But for real, tomorrow, I’m excepting to hear about a date.” He pointed, Carmy rolling his eyes and waving him off as he walked away and got into his car.

—-

The next day, it came naturally to the boy. He was sitting outside, a cigarette in between his lips, he blew out the smoke when he saw you form the corner of his eyes.

You were next to the alley, petting a little dog you have found, abandoned on the side of the road.

You didn’t even notice him until he came up.

“Uh, hey.” He spoke casually, throwing his cigarette onto the ground, smashing it with his foot. You looked up and over at him, smiling.

“Hey, Carmen. You on your break?”

“Yeah. Yeah. What uh.. who’s this little guy?”

“I don’t know. Saw him on the side of the road and I felt bad.” You told him, standing up, looking down at the dog and back at hjm.

“Oh.” He didn’t know how to respond.

“Yeah, might take him to the vet or something. But, how was your day? I was actually just about to come in.” You said with a giggle.

“It’s been going…” he told you, scratching the back of his neck and nodding. “How was yours?”

“It’s been okay.” You shrugged. “Well, I don’t wanna take up your time, and I should probably-“ you glanced down at the dog. “Get him in and stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah of course.”

You began to walk away, the dog following you before he called your name again.

“Uh- y/n?” He stuttered out.

“Yeah?” You turned around.

“Would you… wanna go out with me? Like… any time?”

You smiled at him again. “I would love that, Carmy.” You told him. And with his words, your day got a hundred times better.

[jungkook97]

and if you let me;; jjk

pairing: non idol!coworker jungkook x reader

word count: 1.9k

rating: teens & up!

genre: romance & fluff, cheesy confession, jungkook is a nervous guy in luv, also is silly, dorky, sweet, etc. (all the adjectives!)

summary: it was your last day at work and jungkook, who has a big fat crush on you, throws a going away party before you go.

notes: there's hardly any plot lmao it's just a hit of dopamine/feels i guess HAHAHAH :) i love him so much and my feelings are at an all-time high with the new gcf that came out!!

this is for nei (@melancholy-of-nadia)!!! luv u!!

© jungkook97 2023. do not repost or modify. please ask for permission to translate.

Jungkook was annoyed. Very annoyed.

As you howled in laughter at Hoseok’s antics, Jeon Jungkook was in his little corner, crossing his arms and shaking his head. 

It wasn’t that he was jealous. In fact, Jungkook was pretty confident and had somewhat normal self-esteem levels, but he felt like he was running out of time.

Running out of time for what, you ask? Confessing his love to you.

It was an open secret on the office floor that Jungkook had the biggest and loudest crush on you, making it real clear to all the guys in the office that you were the love of his life (on the clock, anyway). He liked people who were great at their jobs, and you were, to say the least, great at it. As your new boss and your guys’ boss fought for dominance to get you as an employee, it was clear that you were irreplaceable in the workplace, and that somehow made you even sexier to Jungkook. 

At first, it was all a physical thing. You were a looker with brains and a dry humor that Jungkook appreciated in a workplace filled with kiss-assers. It was easy to flirt with you, and it seemed like you were 110% flirting back, which, a few months down the road, got Jungkook to freak out. 

Surely, it was one thing to flirt with coworkers nonchalantly and another to deliberately be a boy loser about it. He was down bad at the 3-month mark and found himself counting the days when you would return to your cubicle, which conveniently was next to his. 

Every day, he swung by your desk trying to be smooth, only to trip up somehow. Whether it be the intonation of his voice or him tripping over his own feet, he would kick himself silly mentally before lamenting to his best friend and work confidant, Kim Namjoon at the water cooler hours later. 

“I swear I cannot walk around her!” Jungkook would sigh loudly, swirling his coffee stirrer as Namjoon chuckled, leaning against the counter before patting his coworker on the shoulder. 

“It’s okay, dude. I’m sure she doesn’t even notice it like you do,” Namjoon would reassure him even though he knew you would eventually find out (you would of course, but unaware how deep Jungkook’s love for you was). 

A year would swing by until you finally broke the news to the office that you would be leaving for another job with higher pay, and it felt like Jungkook’s world came crashing down. How could he continue working at this job if you weren’t next to him, giggling at his stupid jokes and his stupid short haircut that he specifically cut to make himself look even hotter for you? How could he possibly get through several rounds of meetings if you two weren’t playing tic-tac-toe on the memo pad the two of you would share? Or the times when Jungkook would go out of his way to the coffee shop to get your usual honey oatmilk latte from Urth Caffé? Or the time Jungkook would time his lunches so he could sit with you for the whole hour? 

And so, Jungkook devised a plan to break the “news” that he was in love with you, hoping that you would feel the same way. He orchestrated the going away party first, going to a KBBQ spot with your closest coworkers before doing karaoke with drinks. Because how else was Jungkook going to relax around you?

Jungkook could feel his heart thumping wildly in his chest as you giggled at his innocent joke about Hoseok’s dance moves as your delicate head leaned against his wide shoulders. His stomach lurched forward as he coughed to cover his nervousness up, pouring yet another glass of soju for the two of you. You gladly took it, clinking the glass against his before taking a swig, and swallowing the alcoholic contents as you clung into Jungkook for the next hour. 

Jungkook was elated of course, but he didn’t wanna give much away, closing his lips together as he thumped his fingers against the table, encouraging your former coworkers to drink more. 

An hour passed and you were blasted, still hollering and hooting for the dancers, Hoseok and Jimin, to continue as karaoke night came at a fever pitch. At this point, you and Jungkook were inseparable, and he has made major moves to the level of your comfort: 1) putting his arm behind you and 2) crossing his legs so he could tap his feet against yours. 

As you hummed quietly to yourself, you shivered at the cold air coming through the AC. Jungkook saw and immediately grabbed his leather jacket, putting it around you. 

You thanked him, leaning against his chest as the two of you cuddled. Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat as he flushed red, again covering his flustered self with a cough. 

“Are you getting sick?” you inquired, looking up at Jungkook with a pout. His eyes twinkled at this point as you cutely and drunkenly put your hand up to his forehead, trying to feel his temperature. It was going up all right, and Jungkook turned even redder than the tomatoes in the ramyeon in front of you two. 

“Uh,” was all Jungkook could say, stuttering his way into a lame excuse. “The ramyeon is a bit too spicy that’s all, haha.”

He did his best to chuckle sexily as you sighed, frowning. 

“Should I have asked for it to be mild?” you inquired, grabbing the menu from the table. “If I had known you didn’t like spice, I would’ve ordered it.”

“Oh no, i-it’s okay!” Jungkook hastily replied, putting the menu down. He was freaking out, and a few of the boys were starting to notice the two of you being rather cozy.

“Man, I have never seen Jungkook look so happy in my entire life,” Taehyung teased, snorting into his beer and pointing at the both of you.��

Jungkook frowned, still beet red. 

“W-what are you talking about?!” he fired back at Taehyung. All the second youngest in the office did was shrugged, smirking. 

“Oh, now you’re playing stupid,” Taehyung drunkenly laughed, leaning against you as he whispered something in your ear. 

Jungkook’s stomach bubbled in nervousness while Taehyung chuckled after saying his piece which made you giggle a bit.

“Yeah, he can be obtuse sometimes,” you replied, glancing back at Jungkook. He flushed again, his stomach in knots. Did you know? Were you playing with him? 

As the night progressed, you began acting more and more wild, making Jungkook laugh uproariously at your behavior. Seeing you loose made him happy and glad that he planned the goodbye party in the first place. He clapped and cheered for you as you attempted badly to sing Whitney Houston’s “I’ll Always Love You”. Even if you were off-key, he still found it endearing that you even attempted. 

Your unabashed confidence was shining through, and something ignited within Jungkook. It was then when he realized how much he liked you and seeing this side of you made him want you even more. The desire to be even closer than you two already were, and the desire to be intimate was growing inside Jungkook’s already big and kind heart, and he wanted to do something more. 

It wasn’t too late when everyone began to go home, leaving the two of you alone. You had Uber’d your way to the noraebang so Jungkook offered naturally to take you home after sobering up. 

As the two of you walked to the car, you instinctively but a bit impulsively wrapped your arm around his. His stomach lurched forward as his heart beat unbelievably fast, making him cough out of nervousness. 

“You okay?” you asked worryingly, slurring a bit of your words. Jungkook was a bit concerned for you as he gripped your arm tighter around his bicep, leaning against you. 

“I am,” he hummed lightly, opening his Mercedes GT door for you before guiding you in. “Are you okay though? You had a lot to drink.”

He strapped you in with the seatbelt as you smiled warmly. At this point, you two were really close to each other, feeling each other’s warm breaths as Jungkook’s big eyes stared into yours. He lamented quietly that you weren’t entirely there, wishing you were entirely sober so he could just kiss you right then and there. Your red warm lips were calling to him, and he wanted to kiss you so fucking bad, but only if you let him. 

God, you’re so beautiful right now, he thought.  

“What?” you laughed softly as he snapped out of it. 

“N-nothing.”

Clearing his throat for the 1529458th time, he pulled away from your warmth and back into the winter air. Sliding his hands together to keep warm, he sprinted to the driver’s side of the car, sliding in before turning the engine on. The hot air swirled through the cabin as he turned the lights on and navigation took you home.

Not much was said during the ride to your house. Surely, he didn’t want to interrupt you slowly dozing off, mumbling to yourself as your hand laid on the center console. Jungkook’s hand was firmly on the shift gear but it achingly wanted to be there as well, holding your hand. He wanted to warm you up so badly, just like how he did it all night with you. 

There must have been real chemistry between you two up until this point, Jungkook thought. There was no way all of this was platonic or you had been leading him on. All the flirty exchanges you two had for the past year started replaying in Jungkook’s mind like a broken video tape, replaying over and over until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

He had to tell you. He had to confess.

-

As the car came to a stop and turned off, he went over to your side to open the door again. You woke up to the brisk cold air hitting your face as you were startled awake. Jungkook’s dark silhouette encapsulated you as you pulled out of the car, only to slip from the ice below and into Jungkook’s arms.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed as he caught you immediately into his embrace. His firm, yet warm body was pressed up against your own as you giggled drunkenly, trying to maintain your balance. “God, I’m just all over you tonight huh, Jeon?”

You could feel his heavy breaths on you as you looked up. He was already staring down at you with a soft smile, his cheeks pink. 

You wondered if he was going to keep hiding it from you. You knew for quite some time that Jungkook liked you a bit too much, and even in your drunken state, you wanted to tell him it was okay to lean in for a kiss. You liked him too, and you wanted him to be yours. 

Under the dim streetlight, he ever so slowly leaned in, closing the gap between you two. His eyes were pensive, thinking a bit too hard on this, but you had already made up your mind.

Kiss me, Jungkook. 

“If you let me,” he whispered right before your lips touched his. 

You pulled him in, kissing him. His eyes closed immediately as he took control, squeezing you tightly as you two softly kissed each other, keeping warm.

Snow was falling lightly on the both of you as your lips slowly made a grin when the two of you parted.  

“Always, Jungkook.”

[naomiarai]

Imagine campus crush female reader, and popular hot nerd hee, hee got a big fat crush on reader since 1st day of uni but was too shy to confess, moving on to 2nd year they both gets close and all, one day at a party they both are drunk asf, hee got a bit jealous seeing reader getting hit on by a guy, so hee leaves the party, y/n follows him behind confesses her love for him, after their confession session, hee takes to his place and fucks her good, Not even being shy but CONFIDENCE AND ALL (like you get me) grabbing her chin gently when she gets quite because of how good he making her feel

"Aw baby, cat got your tongue now" followed with 3 hard thrusts 😭

ANON i wanna kiss ur brain c’mere but HE HAS TO FUCK HER ON HIS CAR IM SORRY

but i luv this, i like how hee would get shy at first, that’s so him !! and campus crush reader.... i LOVE this trope :3

at a party getting a lil tipsy with each other, (some indirect flirting included too ; 3) having a rlly good time. but then all of sudden some random dude comes over n tries to hit on you out of nowhere :(( and the jealous man that hee is, he leaves the party in anger. but you don’t just leave him be, you go after him, telling him that you love him n not some creepy dude.

heeseung would be bubbling with happiness inside, but he wants to show you just how much he loves you by absolutely fucking the shit out of you >:3 the lil shy heeseung’s gone, replaced with a cocky, confident heeseung. he’d have you bent over his car, cute skirt bunched up at your hips as he plunges his cock into your gummy cunt ><

[heybank]

DENY PART TWO

ok i think i might make a series about my jj x reader x pope fic

also kind of dedicated to @starfxkr bc their blog gets me through the jj pope drought that is on tumblr (if you don't wanna be tagged i'll totally delete but i luv you even tho i don't know you

this isn't technically a part two but it's inspired by my previous fic deny

i'm hoping to maybe fully flesh out a whole mini story about them bc i love jj and pope so bad and i wanna kiss them both and have them kiss each other.

please send me prompts or if you have any ideas or you just wanna gush about jj and pope 💜

i'm a cancer, ok

you've always felt your emotions more deeply than others. you have a lot of feelings and it's not uncommon for you to start tearing up at random times throughout the day when you see something that elicits a strong feeling from you.

kie says it's because you're a cancer and while she's so true because you are the stereotypical emotional water sign, you're not sure how much of your mental state is because of your astrological sign or if you're genuinely a few screws loose in the head.

you remember hiccuping and sobbing into jjs shirt for the better part of half an hour- staining his sleeveless tee with your tears all because you saw a seagull missing a foot and he seemed to be running slower than his other seagull friends. your only relief from the obvious heartbreaking situation was jj softly murmuring comforting words in your ear, his strong arms around circled around your waist, your body snuggled onto his lap. the scene isn't uncommon for the pogues to see. the two of you have always been more affectionate than most.

all of this leads you to where you are now, curled up on your bed sobbing. soft sad music playing in the background making you sob even more. you put on a brave face with your friends but in the sanctuary of your own bed is where you can finally let your feelings free.

seeing pope and jj kiss hurt you more than you originally thought. your mind keeps replaying the scene of the two boys kiss, their lips moving together sensually, saliva being shared. you're sure that if you hadn't interrupted them, the kiss would lead to something more and involving less clothes.

hey google, play "that should be me" by justin bieber.

what if when they start dating they drop you? what if pope isn't comfortable with how touchy or affectionate you are with jj and he stops your cuddles or what if jj doesn't want you to hang out alone with pope because he knows you two kissed. what if they stop needing you because they have each other?

the thought makes a sob crawl up your throat and fat tears roll down your cheeks. you feel like your head is going to explode from how hard your crying. you need them like air, you felt like that even before you and pope kissed and before you realized you're in love with jj. you need them because they're your closest friends- they're the family you so desperately crave because your own doesn't care much for you and you're so scared if they start dating each other then they won't need you.

it's why you give out your love so freely, the feeling of being needed by people is something that is so deeply and inherently buried in your bones. when someone needs you and you can help them, it feels euphoric. a psychologist would probably have a field day with you because if you're not needed, what good are you?

----

"i'm really confused after our kiss" pope mumbles, nervous to look at jj in the eyes.

"good or bad confused" jj responds.

"is there such thing as good confusion?" pope asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "i didn't think i was gay or bi or whatever and yeah i think some dudes are hot but like i've never wanted to kiss them but i wanted to kiss you!! and then we kissed and it was like... nice but different and i couldn't help but think about gracie and how she and i kissed and how good that also felt and then i felt guilty and-"

"pope, take a breath" the maybank boy utters, effectively cutting off popes rambles.

"i liked kissing you pope. i never let myself be attracted to dudes but it's you, ya know?" jj continues.

"but i also understand wanting to kiss grace. i... well i want to kiss her too." he finally confesses. he's never said his feelings for his grace out loud before.

pope gently stumbles over to where the maybank boy is perched on his bed, he leans in to grab jjs fidgeting hands, grasping them in what he hopes is a comforting hold.

he leans forward so he can give jj a small peck on the cheek. reassuring him that they're ok, that they'll make it through whatever turmoil they're feeling right now.

jj grabs popes face and brings him in for a deeper kiss, lips and tongues touching. it makes jjs stomach burn with desire. after several minutes or maybe hours of kissing, he's not sure, pope reaches up and pulls on jjs soft blond tresses, tugging on the boys hair a little to pull him away from popes lips. they both let out little gasps when they disconnect.

"have you heard of polyamory?" pope asks jj... a shit eating grin on his lips.

---

giggling and kicking my feet. i love them 💜

[darnell-la]

Hey! So I got a sad one. So basically you went to the beach with Jj and you were on the sand and these group of girls came up to you saying stuff abt you body and calling you fat. So y/n went home. With out telling jj. When she got home she started crying a lot but Jj went to check on her. And comfort her.

Hey!! We're sorry if this story wasn't exactly what you were looking for. If you're disappointed, please send another request and explain in detail? Other than that, thank you for your request, Luv <3

word count: 2.2k

paring: JJ Maybank x Chubby!Reader

--------------------------------------------------------

Y/n's pov

"You'll be fine, y/n, okay? It's just a party with a bunch of drunk teenagers. Nothings gonna happen. Besides, Topper and Rafe aren't here," JJ said as he and I walked on the property of this girl who invited him.

"I know, it's just, they didn't invite me and I know how these people get. Especially the Kook girls to Pogue girls," I said as he stopped in front of me.

"As long as I'm around you, I won't let them say shit to you, okay? We're best friends. I wouldn't let that slide," he said, placing a smile on my face.

"Okay, fine. But only for a couple of hours," I said as he rolled his eyes with a sigh. "No, no, we have to stay longer," he said. "Please," he kept repeating until I finally gave in. "Fine! Fine! Goddamnit," I said making him jump.

"Let's go!" He celebrated as he pulled me towards the front of the house. This place is packed and we're only outside. I can already see a few people eying us because we're probably the only Pogues here. JJ's use to ignoring people but I'm still not.

As I and JJ walked through the crowded house, I could hear people talking about us. They probably wouldn't have noticed me if I came alone but because JJ's so known, making us easy to spot.

"Hey! JJ, right?" A girl asked as she made her way towards us. "Yeah! Hey, Claire," JJ said, trying to put on his flirting voice. I came here to back him up, just in case he feels some way if she drops him last second. And he also wanted me to come and get out of my house for once.

"And you are?" The girl asked me. I could tell she wasn't happy with me being here, by the slight change in her tone and facial expression.

"Scotlyn," I said. "My best friend," JJ added as he pulled me into his side by my waist. I wish he would feel a spark when he touches me like this.

"Mhm, well, is it fine if I steal him from you real quick?" Claire asked as she pulled JJ away from me and wrapped her arm around his. Now they're locked and he has a smile on his face. At least he can be happy.

“No, no, it’s fine,” and quickly after, Claire pulled JJ away from me before he could say something. Tonight’s gonna be a long night. I should at least make it fun.

After being at this party for about an hour, playing drinking games, and watching sports on the TV with some random dudes in the middle of the living room, I decided to take a walk on the beach which isn’t far from the house. It’s basically their backyard. 

I stopped at a beach chair and placed my bag that I always carry with me, before looking around to make sure I’m the only one out here. 

I sighed and began to take off my clothes. I put my bikini on before I left, hoping JJ would want to show me some tricks in the waves like usual but he was occupied. 

After getting my last piece of clothing off, I began to touch my body. This is my first time in a bikini in public. It feels different. 

“We’ll look at Scotlyn. Coming out of her comfort zone I see. What made you buy that Bikini? Cause I know it’s not for my best friend’s man. Or is it?” A girl I do not know asked. 

“Who’s man? Who even are you?” I asked her. “We’re Claire’s friend and she sent us here to make sure you weren’t setting up some picnic after she got into JJ’s pants,” she said, making my eyes widen. 

JJ Maybank is no stranger to the sex life but he also doesn’t like being used and by the way that sentence sounds, getting in his pants is a term he wouldn’t like. 

“Where is he?” I asked as I went to pass them but one of the girls pushed me back. “Probably doing what Claire wants. Why does it matter? You like him or something?” The first girl asked as she laughed and pushed me to the sandy ground. 

“No! He’s- He’s just my best friend and your tramp bestie isn’t going to ruin him!” I yelled as I got up. I went to run past them but another one grabbed my hair and pushed me to the sandy ground again. 

“Oh, save that shit. He’d rather be broken than see that walk in on him,” one of them said, reminding me that I was in my bikini. I know I’m a bit thick but I have a good shape. Well, that’s what JJ says. 

“By the time you get up, you wouldn’t have the energy to run to him, yet walk,” another one said, causing my eyes to tear up. “Don’t cry, we’re just telling you the truth. Not being mean or anything,” the first one laughed. 

I quickly got up and took off, leaving everything behind. Even JJ. He’ll be fine. He’s probably having more fun than he’s ever had with me and I don’t want to ruin it for him. I need to move on…

JJ Maybank’s pov

“Claire, I’m not really in the mood tonight,” I lied as she tried rubbing all over my body. She’s been giving me the ick ever since she came up to me and y/n earlier. 

I thought that maybe if I hung out with her for a little bit, she’d be different or I’d understand her more but it actually has gotten worse and all I want to be around is y/n. 

Maybe I should just ask her out since she’s the only girl I ever feel comfortable and happy around. Everyone else is off. Way off and I never feel that feeling when I’m with y/n. Ever. 

“What are you talking about,” Claire asked in a tone I haven’t heard tonight. “I just really need to get back to y/n and-“ I tried apologizing but she cut me off. 

“Are you serious!? With that fat bitch!?” She angrily said, causing me to push her off of me and stand up from her bed. “Woah, don’t say that shit about her,” I got defensive. 

“Why? It’s true! Why would you choose her over me? That makes no sense at all,” she said, making me shake my head with a disgusting look on my face. These’s Kooks are all the same. 

“Delete my number,” I said then walked out of her room. She yelled a last “Already done!” before I slammed her room door, hoping her handle or anything would break. 

I searched the whole party to find y/n but she’s not here. I quickly ran out to the backyard and down the beach, but she was not there either. 

I ran across a beach chair with a bag on it and clothes. They belong to y/n. Shit. I yelled as I made my way into the water with all my clothes and shoes on. 

What if she went for a swim and drowned or got taken out by the waves. I know for a fact that she can’t swim in waves. She’s not experienced enough. Fuck!!

I swam around for a while until I got tired and cried my way out of the beach. My tears began streaming down my face as I yelled her name. Why did I leave her? 

“Chill out. She ran home,” some girl said. I looked up to see a girl and a few of her friends behind her. They look familiar. “How was the time with Claire?” One asked. They’re her friends. 

“Where did she run?” I asked, ignoring her question. “I don’t know. Home,” one laughed. “Why would she run home?” I asked, confused as they laughed. 

“We explained and told her the truth about you now wanting her. Maybe if she lost a bit of, you know, fat, she’d maybe have a chance,” a girl said. 

That’s when my eyes widen, knowing they bullied her into running away. They used my name, to make it seem like she’s not my best friend and that I care about that shit. I don’t. I’m in love with her and the way she looks. 

I quickly ran to y/n’s bag and threw her close into her bag before talking off towards my car so I can run to her house and tell her that all of this was a big miss understanding and that I don’t care about how she looked. She looks beautiful to me. 

“Y/n!” I yelled through y/n’s small house, hoping she’d be here. I can’t leave her alone in times like this. I’ve never seen her emotional but if she ran all the way home, she’s definitely feeling some type of way about those girls comments. 

“Y/n, where are you? Just talk to me,” I said and finally opened her guest room to find her curled up on the bed. “Y/n…” I said as I walked through the door frame slowly. 

That’s when she shot her head up quickly, allowing me to see her red and glossy eyes. She tried covering herself up as she asked what I was doing here at her house. 

“Your bag,” I said as I placed her bag on the floor and made my way over to the side of the bed. “Oh, okay. Well, uh, thank you. See you tomorrow,” she tried covering her face by turning to the side but I softly grabbed her wrist and turned her back towards me. 

“What did they say to you, y/n?” I asked. “Who?” She asked, knowing exactly who. “You know who, y/n. Tell me everything they said and I’ll handle it. You know I will,” I said, making her shake her head. 

“Oh, the girls? Oh, yeah, they didn’t say anything. Yeah, they just- I just forgot my bag, that’s all,” she lied to me as she sniffed and wiped some tears but they keep coming back. 

“Y/n, don’t lie to me! I’m not fucking around. What did they say!?” I asked with a louder tone, getting angry at anything they could have said to her. I know how people treat her and it’s not nice at all. She doesn’t deserve that. 

Y/n looked me in my eyes then turned back around and began to cry after curling up. Fuck, I didn’t mean to make her cry. 

“No, no, no, y/n, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so rude, I just- Baby, I just wanted to know,” I said but she kept crying. I ran my hands through my hair, stressed. 

“Shit,” I said as quickly took my clothes off, as well as my boots, and ran to her drawer. I keep spare clothes heard since I’m always over. Day and night. 

I change into the clothes then crawled onto her bed and pulled her into my chest. She let me in by pulling me into her and crying into my chest as I rest my head on her forehead and whispered to her. 

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. Don’t let whatever they said, get to you. It’s not true. No matter what they said, it’s not true,” I tried talking her down. 

“A-Am I’m pretty to you?” She stuttered as she tried to control her crying. “What? Yes! Yes, of course, you are. I swear I’m not saying that because you’re my best friend,” I said hoping she’s believing. 

“But I’m your friend, so, of course, I’m pretty to you,” she cried again. “Y/n, even passed friendship, you’re beyond pretty to me. You’re beautiful. Gorgeous. You’re just so much,” I said. 

“I’ve had the biggest crush on you. Shit, I still do, it’s just, we’re best friends and I can’t ruin that, you know?” I said, nothing about what I just confessed to. Shit. 

“Y-You have a crush on me?” She asked. “No, nah! Well- Fuck, yes, I do. I really do,” I said, not able to control myself. I had to get it out. I can’t keep things like this in anymore. I can’t hide it. It’s so hard. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” she said as she looked up at me. “Yeah, I tried keeping it a secret but- Y/n, you’re so fucking perfect. I can’t keep shit like that from you. You need to know this stuff. You need to know how beautiful you are,” I said, making her eyes brighten up. I can see her blushing. 

“Okay,” she giggled low as she buried her face into my chest again but this time, she’s not crying. “Yeah, I love you,” I awkwardly said with a slight laugh. 

“I love you too,” she said back, making me smile hard. It’s not hard to see that she does. I should have said this earlier in life, but at least she knows now. 

At least she’ll know how much I adore her when I talk to her about us tomorrow because there’s no way I’m leaving this house without me being able to call her mine. 

[starfieldbhm]

Hey dude these vids are fire🔥🔥🔥🔥. Luv how fat you are and how you jiggle and flop it’s mesmerizing😵‍💫. How long do you think you’ve been over 700lbs. Did you get this huge over the pandemic? How long have you been on disability? Are you on disability because you’re sooo fat? Can’t get enough of how fat you are and sexy to boot🥵🔥.

Hey back!!

I've been over 700 for a few years. I've always been a pretty big gut. I was over 400 when I finished high school

I've been on disability since I was like 23,I think. It's for my size as well as bi-polar and depression.

I'm glad you're enjoying it. ♥️

[noel-fielding-web-page]

Is your top of the favourites still the same?

No. It will never be the same. As I told before, I was extremely disappointed in James Acaster, coz his jokes about Noel were awful, so he’s not in the top of my favourites anymore. I know that it was just for the show, but he gone too far this time. I’m not going to remove my posts with him, even with Noel behind, but I’m still offended for him. That’s why my top looks like that now (he’s not even in top 20!)

Noel is upper than all this tops!

Top 20 after Noel Fielding

1. Dave Brown

Played Bollo the gorilla in The Mighty Boosh. I love his photo works. And I think he’s a great guy, no worse than Noel. Yeah, he probably doesn’t look so extraordinary, but still awesome :) x

2. Joe Lycett

I have told already that I luved him after Taskmaster. He's actually lovely, smiling boy. I'm really enjoying watching the shows with him. Yes, he looks silly sometimes. But it makes him adorable. And he looks pretty :)

3. Sean Hughes

This man was the first reason why I started watching Never Mind The Buzzcocks, before I found out about Noel. I'm genuinly cried when he passed away, was depressed quite a long time. Now I calmed already. I still luv him and rewatching old shows where he took a part with a light nostalgy. I think he was a nice person.

4. Alan Davies

Looking at Alan on QI, I always thought that he is a big kid. Always laughing, joking around and laughs contagiously, being dummy :) Then I watched his show As Yet Untitled. Quite comfortable and soft dude. This show made me to change opinion about Alan in better way, so now he's my favourite.

5. Simon Le Bon

True legend! Strong voice, looking gorgeous and having a great sence of humour! It's a frontman of my favourite band Duran Duran. I was Duranie before Noel. Being Duranie I found out about Never Mind The Buzzcocks where Simon took a part. Then it become my favourite show! And I still in love with this band &lt;3

6. Rhod Gilbert

When I seen him in NMTB first time, he seemed too rough and angry. Then he took a role as permanent host of the final BBC series. I was wrong, he is a nice guy, just brutal ;) Although he couldn't rise the show, he's still great!

7. Phill Jupitus

I've never been his fan. But I still respect him for a long time being on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. This show could be cancelled much shorter if he would leave it behind.

8. Brian Cox (Professor)

I'm not a fan of the scient, but this guy is not just a Professor! He also a great actor! Entire The Universe musical explains everything! All you need is just to watch it to realize how wonderful is it! &lt;;3

9. Ed Gamble

I found out about this pretty guy from Mock The Week. He is so positive and funny, always laughing :D Sometimes being rough a bit, but still very nice. My interest to him become stronger after Taskmaster and then after The Great British Bake Off and also I like his podcasts :)

10. Ed Byrne

Another Ed that I started interest in after Mock The Week. It's an Irish crazy comedian. He can be mad as hell then say anything unusual and laughing hard. They are obviously good friends with Dara O'Brain :) Their tandem was a classic. I'm not a fan of the show, but I will miss it (BBC axed it), still very nice <3

11. Lliana Bird

I respect this woman first of all for Noel! She gave him a big support that helped him to be alive now. It's a big love! Who knows full story, will guess what I mean! It's not just a beautiful lady!

12. Aisling Bea

Irish female comedian with original voice. She is beautiful and interesting person. Started like her after QI and Big Fat Quiz :)

13. Chris Ramsey

One of the fewest celebrities that I like firstly for the laugh and beauty :D Started to love him after Never Mind The Buzzcocks

14. Eddie Izzard

Interesting drag comedian. He likes dressing as a female, but still staying a man. Started interest after his tandem with Noel in Big Fat Quiz.

15. Kevin Scott Richardson

It’s the oldest member of Backstreet Boys. When I was younger, he was my favourite. And I still like him. He still looks beautiful and young :)

16. Greg Davies

I always respected him, from the first season of Taskmaster. But after that reviving of NMTB, there were some rumours that he helped the Sky team with that! And now he’s on my top!

17. Ricky Wilson

During the period when I was Duranie, I found out about Kaiser Chiefs. I didn't knew anything about them at all, but their lead singer Ricky Wilson interested me. He was a little chubby then and his voice was similar with young Simon Le Bon. It was the song I Predict Riot. Then I found information about him and realized that there is nothing in common between these two singers. Years later, Ricky lost weight and became a handsome man. But for me, he's always been cool. I like him :)

18. Lee Mack

True legend of Would I Lie To You! But I stareted respect him much earlier! Whe he hosted NMTB! I'm surprising, how the hell he didn't become a permanent host??? He would be amazing! His legendary "BAATMAAN!" explains all :D

19. Paul Foot

Not quite fan, but he’s so damn hilarious! I’d be happy to see him in NMTB again, obviously in Noel’s team. They’re both worth each other :)

20. Martin Kemp

I can’t say that I’m a fan of Spandau Ballet, but after the last Never Mind The Buzzcocks without Noel there, Martin Kemp was the one adequate guest. He didn’t make dirty jokes about Noel or anyone else and was unbelievably polite. So I liked him and started to respect. Quite deserved!

[evansbby]

OH MY GOD MENS ICKSSS- like there are few for me but when i get them its like an allergic reaction!

- when they do those internet dances FUCK ICK!! like the Dab or something fuck. (Except for that one video where benedict cucumber did it cyz that... that confused me. that made me produce an egg. NEXT.)

-slippers... idfk... sandals. mens toes are ew. with the fucking long hair on their toes and theyre so UNAPOLOGETIC about how thick and fat their toes are fucking GAG.

- when they flip their coat/shirt collars up (except for benedict as sherlock??? shit. AGAIN IDK WHY i might have to look into this and self refect.)

- when they have those super unfunny group chats with their friends where they talk as if theyre all geniuses ahead of the game wtf why do all men have those group chats??? and its never funny??? but they think it is??? everytime i catch a glimpse of it im like bitch the fuck 😭 im funnier than that surely. and they sound so fucking dumb everytime but PROUD. ick vicky wicky.

- when they cant deal with standing in lines. its like theyre too cool for it. bro no, you don't clean ur nails, stand in line like a normal human being and accept the shame u weirdly associate with being patient.

- when men barely talk to their children during family outings... thats just asking for me to commit a hate crime. not even an ick.

- cartoon shirts... anime shirts... quote shirts... id rather they wear banana patterns t shirts or something like... ITS FINE WHEN IM UNINTERESTED IN THE DUDE but like after fhat i cant help but look at it and wonder... "doth he hentai?" and then "is thee childish???" and then it makes me hate myself because im judging them way to hard and its double damage. coz im ick with him and ick with myself 😔

- SMOKING which is less icky then FUCKING VAPING WHAT. Both gives me loser vibes fucking pupping in a desolate corner every hour, begging for a light maybe. standing around awkwardly with people and delighting in your addiction. the whole thing is super mega ducky ick. Like WHY??? (the only exception is tommy shelby and sherlock- SPECIFICALLY the fictional characters. I saw benedict on the streets once and phsically cringed and crossed the street i wish i was joking thats how bad my ick was.)

- Long hair. no no i know some guys apparently look hot in it but i dont SEE it and i REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. i had to INVESTIGATE for years why people found harry styles hot and had to cover the sides of his head with my hands to see him in short hair to understand he had potential. not. one. guy. with long hair looks hot. nope. even daemon i was like hUh? until he showed up in that one ep with short hair and i was like 🤤 Papa? Be my uncle ❤️ then his L'Oreal hair came back and he looked like a 🐴

- guys who try to be fashionable but they just look so shit. with the fuckin berets and big leather pants and vests and gun harneses 🙂‍↕️ my guy u look like what invented delete. like some dudes can do the shit out of and it just works but my guy... a clean shirt and some black trousers...

- guy sending sexy selfies... like who r u pouting for my dude 😭 just smile please 🤌✨

idk if these are icks but i felt these to my soul 🥹 im sorry its long i just had to get it off my chest HAHAH

luv u xoxo

-🐝🖖

oh wow bestie this is some list!!!

if by internet dances you mean like the tiktok dances then yes i wholeheartedly agree.. my man should ONLY have a tiktok for watching purposes. if he posts a thirst trap or him dancing to some trending song then that's it, he's not my man anymore lmfaoo. like that's so CRINGE tiktok dances are for the girlies!!! my man needs to have minimal social media presence hehe.

i kinda agree with the sandals one but i don't mind when men wear sliders sometimes in a casual way haha.

boys group chats are the worst most misogynistic cesspools of debauchery ever like truly boys are SO LAME when with their dumb friends so agree with that one.

i've never met a man who can't deal with standing in lines lol but tbh I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE therefore i myself hate standing in lines lmfaooo so my man would have to be the opposite of me. although i understand this one so this isn't an ick for me.

[suiciderape]

legal binder mechanheeow

ew ur daddy will pick u around u cant see juliet stalking u in a twerk dress in the lunch room at ghetto noon ok ur dumb ew u fucked! me ew ur bad at this ghetto luv hahaha daddys coming to get u open ghetto hollins is in the bldg ghetto daddy is in the bldg lava mcgee? ew ur fliting with me nah ok byee hii hey omg ur cute charcutirie ew ur badass getting death threats blue hair dye? instagram san antonio pictures hahaha ur still talking to jisung nct dreamer ew! why? no it was him ew 1980s suicide boys skateboard with me at the chinese hood ew ur a faggot dick muncher awkward desarae! ur a badass bitch open tha huh uh huh huh uh *gs* uhhh! laady macbeth 1980s lady macbeth suicide lady macbeth suicide boys bye bye clu b? awkward ew ok so get out of the club by masturbating in the envelope addressed to the hollins family ew ur ghetto real i thought it was magee what are u driving? ew i get but what are u driving? samsung galaxy z flip 3 suicide boys- we like u ghetto much but ur hurting our pride we like u so much but ur ghetto pride hurtz ew ur badass so we like to program u yas ok so go on chanhee pop me- were good dude amd we love pss ew ur baddass and we love ur sexy school girl chanhee chanhee chanhee ew ur a dick muncher ew ur a dick ew hi hot boi ew ur a faggot mexican and greek asian twerk baddie ooh ooh hahaha! ew awkward hahaha geto over here hollins is a slut hahaha why ew ur a faggot ew ur a dick muncher maggot ew ur a slut surf! cypress chanhee mt st helens chris 1980s suicide boy angel insider ew ur a faggot preachor

ew what was that shit? keeho mhua ew ur a dango dinger ew ur a v dezmond hollins is in the bld fr? yes were coming tonight ghetto tonight? yes ghetto tonight hahaha we love ur sexy words ur so good at typing are u a robot? rob zombie liverr ew ur gay as hell its sweet mexican liver ew 1980s suicide boys! ew ur a faggo5 get away 5 punK dead dead dead! dead dead chanhee getoA geto geto geto geto

chanhee- what what what what what what shes typing so fast and who has the time to learn how to type like that ur ugly ur fat and stupid cunt were going home we like ur cunt races no were not lying ur going too fast we dont like he44 ew ur gay ew ur a faggot ew u suck ew u cant type that fast without being suicidal faggo5 fuxk its boring were going home dezmond is not in my family leave me alone faggot bitch

suicide gi3l - geto real its scary we u fuck ur pussy hard skank whore die bitch literally die its paranoid kys 2

what a ghetto bitch slut whore ur gonna die with a dildo in ur pussy im trying to save my life faggot donut remember what i said about putting my pussy in ur mouth? immiment death desarae hollins doesnt exist

she screamed my name beat her ass bitch! nah im real mad at u im trying to commit suicide corpo skeeter

faggot rocked launcher ew u fucking suck dick desarae! desarae!

[mint-moon25]

GREGORY - BLK - MALE - FR -

HAITI - ROUND - BALDING IS -

CLEARLY - SEEN - 2 NIGHTS -

AGO - PUT - HIS - TALL - YES -

UGLY - FACE - HEAD - NEAR -

MY - NEW - PINK - DUFFLE -

BAG - 2 - SCRATCH - HIS -

DANDRUFF - OF - THEN -

TOLD ME - 2 - SHUT MY -

MOUTH - AFTER - HE TALKED

MAIN - LIBRARY - AFTER 1 HR

2 - OLD - SAGGING - BREASTS

HISPANIC - WOMAN - IN - YES

DESPERATE - NEED - 2 - HAVE

HER - BREASTS - TOUCHED -

HER - VAGINAL - AREA YES -

ENTERED - BY - SMELLY -

'MOBY DICK' - 2 CHANGE -

IMMIGRATION - STATUS -

BRICKELL CITY CENTRE -

OUTDOOR - MALL - PAID -

$1 BILLION - 4 - JUNK AS -

THEY - HIRED - ILLEGAL -

OPEN - CARRY - 2 - HOLE -

KIDS - HEAD - 2 - HOLE -

PHILIPPINES DOCTORS -

NURSES - SAID - MIAMI -

POLICE STORAGE - HISPANIC

BLKS - PHILIPPINES - CLEAN

TRASH - CLEAN - FLOORS AS

THEIR - LARGE - BREASTS AS

4 - MISS UNIVERSE - SINCE -

SAM MILBY - SUCKING CAT -

HER BREASTS - HONEYMOON

PATRIOTISM - $250, 000 - USD

4 - MISS UNIVERSE -

$900 BILLION - X - 250 - TAX

PAID - HARVARD LAW - 2 YES

SURRENDER - THEIR - TITLES

LEGAL - PERMISSION

HELLO - SPEAK EASY

CATRIONA - $500 BILLION X2

PER - HOUR - TAX PAID - WITH

NO - TOP - SINGING - PIA YES

SAME - VEILED - TOPLESS -

BELLY DANCING - NEVADA -

LAS VEGAS - SO - TOLD -

WRINKLED - OLD MALE -

KOREAN - NEW JERSEY -

MR KIM - GREGORY - WHO -

LEAVES - 2 GRAY GARBAGE -

BAGS - 4 - HIM - 2 - GUARD I -

TOLD - HIM - GREGORY - AT -

MAIN - LIBRARY - TOLD ME -

2 - SHUT UP - AFTER - HE -

3 - UGLY REPULSIVE SON -

AFTER - '3 - BLIND - MICE' -

TALKING - LOUD - OVER -

1 HOUR - TOLD ME - 2 FL -

SHUT - UP - HE - SAID -

'HE - DOESN'T - INTERFERE -

WITH RELATIONSHIPS' - AS -

2 - WHY - HOMELESS -

YESTERDAY - MR KIM -

FAT - LONG - HAIR - & -

TOPLESS - WRINKLED -

CAR - STOPPED - AND -

GAVE - HIM - 2 FOODS -

HE - GAVE - 2 - MALE -

HISPANIC - THEY - DO -

NOT FEED FEMALES -

BROTHERHOOD - OF -

TOPLESS HOMELESS -

MALES NO MANNERS -

KOREA - SEOUL - BATTERY -

BY LANDLORDS - WOMEN -

LANDLORDS - PULL - HAIR -

BOX - MR KIM - REPLIES -

'LANDLORDS - KNOW BEST' -

'JUST - DON'T OFFEND' -

CHINESE - OLD - MALE -

WOULD - HAVE - BROKEN -

HIS BONES - 'DON'T COME -

NEAR - HER - AGAIN' - YES -

YESTERDAY - FRIEND - MR -

KIM - WHITE GUY ARRIVED -

HE - GAVE - FOOD - WHITE -

DUDE - SAID - THEY - DO - 3 -

OR - 4 STOPS - FRONT - OF -

PARKING - GATE - BLK HAITI -

SAID - 'NEVER - SPOKE - 2 U' -

GAVE - HIM - HISPANIC - YES -

DESPERATE - 4 - HIS YUG OF -

SAGGING - BREASTS - GAVE -

BOTH CHICKEN - HURRICANE -

IAN - HE - WAS - BRAGGING -

ALL - FOOD - HE - GETS - FR -

EXPIRED - MEAT - SODAS -

160 CAL - HIGH FRUCTOSE -

CORN - SYRUP - MALE YES -

WEIRDOS - LOVE -

GEOMETRY - AS I -

BUILD BUILDINGS - FRANCE -

WHAT - WE - KNOW - THAT's -

MATERIALS - MARBLE - AND -

MORE - CHINESE - ABACUS -

THEIR - CALCULATOR - YES -

OVER - 3 YRS - FINANCIAL -

AID - 2 - CALCULATE MATH -

GEOMETRY - THEIR - TAXES -

HAITI - STEALS TAX MONEY -

MIAMI - POLICE - ALLIED -

UNIVERSAL - SECURITY R -

BLK - MEN - WOMEN - FR -

HAITI - PAID - SERVANTS 2 -

KILL - ASIANS - ORDERED -

BY - BRICKELL CITY MALL -

DEMOCRAT - PRESIDENT -

TRUMAN - WHO - BEGAN -

EA - DAY - WITH WHISKEY -

CONSENT - ENGLAND UK -

TRIED - 2 - BLOW UP JAPAN -

OLDEST - CONTINUOUS AND -

FAILED - TODAY - 25 MILLION -

YRS - OLD - HAITI - MEN KILL -

ASIANS - BECAUSE - WE ARE -

WHITE - PAID - SERVITUDE -

INDEPENDENT DEMOCRATS -

PARTY - 50 STATES - 24/7 - & -

HOLIDAYS - TERRITORIES -

POSSESSIONS -

SEPT - OCT - B4 - HALLOWEEN

KIDS - TAKEN - MURDERED SO

NO - MORE - CANDY

XXXTENCATION - $50, 000

CASH - ROBBERY - KILLED

4 BLK - MALES - NEEDED -

NEW - SMARTPHONES SO -

VIDEO - SHOWED - JOY OF -

HUNDREDS - LESS - THAN -

1 MIN - KILLED & ENJOYED -

HAITI - ENJOYS - KILLING -

ASIAN - GIRLS - THEN TIE -

UP - THEN - ENTER THEM -

WHILE - DEAD - THEY LUV -

COLD - BODIES - BLK MALE -

GREGORY - WANTED - 2 TIE -

UP - MY - MOUTH - DON'T -

FEED - UNTIL - 90 LBS AS -

PERVERSE - FUTURE - WE -

HAVE - BODY - LOTIONS -

SLIPPERY - HANDCUFFS -

WON'T - WORK - SHOOT -

PRISM - 7 TIMES FORCE -

THEY SHOT THEMSELVES -

KNIVES - BENT - 2 - SLICE -

KNIFER - BOMB - GRENADE -

FLEW - 7 TIMES - REVERSE -

FORCE - SPRAY - 2 CUT OUR -

HAIR - SO GREGORY CALLED -

LOCATION - HIS - FRONT -

3 NIGHTS - B 4 HE SLEPT -

STREET - ACROSS 2 SEE -

MY BREASTS - HE NEVER -

SPOKE 2 - ME REHEARSING -

COURTS - SURRENDER THE -

WATCH - WEDDING - RINGS -

WE'RE CLOSING COURTHOUSE

ONLINE - CASES - 24/7 - DAILY

5 DAYS - JUDGES - RECALL -

FREE - SHOWERS - HIDDEN -

CAMERAS - HISPANICS YES -

LOCK - DOORS - CANDLES -

THEY - THROW - WICK FOR -

EVIL - IS - PERVERSE - THE -

OPPOSITE - OF HOLINESS -

SUCK - SMELLY - MOBY - D -

GIRLS - DEPARTURE - FRM -

MEN ESPECIALLY LOCALS

[signalwatch]

90's Watch: Chungking Express (1994)

As Jamie and I discussed after the movie - the 90's were the wild west for cinema in the US.  Indie cinema and the *flavor* of that indie movement were a truly big deal.  It was also a rich era for a semi-mainstreaming of international cinema as the same theaters that carried those indie pics also brought in some European film and Hong Kong cinema.  I'm not saying no theaters do this anymore, but it was much more a part of your standard film scene at the time.

And if you didn't see it in theaters, you might still find the movies for rent - maybe not next to Robot Jox at Blockbuster, but in the go-go 90's Austin film rental scene, I could walk across the street from my dump of an apartment and get whatever I wanted at I Luv Video.  

But, as mentioned before, I just never picked up the films of Wong Kar-Wai.  I was too busy watching Chow Yun-Fat kick ass or whatever.  I was still a dude in my 20's.  Grant me peace.

And the reason I bring all of this up is that Chungking Express is more or less what I guess a quirky romantic comedy with some heart to it is made elsewhere by folks with a lot of skill but their own worldview, aesthetic, story-telling modalities, etc...  Ie: what does a Tarantino-era romantic comedy look like coming out of Hong Kong with a storyteller as famed as Wong Kar-Wai?

You can't not mention the film contains two completely separate stories.  They share no common characters (which led to me making a really dumb comment during the film about the chronology), but they do reflect on one another.  It's two cops, one a plain-clothes cop and hopeless romantic, and the other a beat-cop with a certain rigidity looking to get shaken up.    

It's early in the cycle, but both stories have a bit of the manic-pixie-dream-girl aesthetic, one with more of a pulp-crime angle as our clueless romantic pines for a girl who clearly does not miss him until he eventually meets a criminal on the run.  The other is a story of a cop who can't move on (Tony Leung) because, for him, nothing has changed until he meets the erratic girl behind the counter of his favorite snack shop.  

Apparently this was meant to be a triptych, with three stories told - or possibly four.  The remaining story or two were spun off into 1995's Fallen Angels, which I've yet to see, but like the first film, includes the criminal underground of mid-90's Hong Kong in its stories about shattered relationships.

The first story in Chungking Express includes a human trafficker/ smuggler who somehow manages to lose a gaggle of Indian nationals she's sending abroad loaded down with cocaine.  While the cop ignores his job and hangs out at a snack shop hoping his ex will call, a heavily disguised Brigette Lin tries to find her charges in Hong Kong, growing increasingly desperate.  Her concrete worries are juxtaposed with the worries of the cop who thinks his girl will come back to him if we can keep finding cans of pineapple with an expiration date one month from their break-up.  The absurdity of both's plight leads them to meet in a bar, get drunk and find companionship - if not romance - crashing in a hotel room.  

The second story follows Tony Leung who believes he's found the one in an air hostess who dumps him for more exciting times and men.  The somewhat insane new girl working at the snack shop receives a letter meant for the cop, including the return of his key from the air hostess.  While the cop is out, she ventures into his apartment, slowly replacing the items in the apartment - an almost haunted place for the cop who thinks the things there held the sadness he felt - until, eventually, he no longer misses the air hostess and is ready for new things.

Like many 90's relationship movies, or break-up movies, it's a mood as much as anything.  There's certainly plot, but the work of the film is to capture a feeling, some more sympathetic than others.  We can recognize the plainclothesman is a bit of a dumdum in matters of the heart and can't recognize a disguise or actual criminal right in front of him, but still root for him to land on his feet.  And we may think Faye is nuts, but still cheer for she and Tony Leung.

In an American film, I'm not sure how any of this would be presented.  In the mid-90's, I can see the goofy, $15 million dollar movie getting released with one of these stories, but made into a slapstick, knocking the edges off that make this film have a sense of realism and therefore relatability.  It's possible an indie movie would have tried for this, but then you can imagine the fun-friend that would be added to give the cop someone to talk to rather than hearing their inner-monologue.  Everyone would be telling the lead males to buck up.

People love this movie, and I get it.  I liked it a lot.  It made me very glad to not be dating, but I liked it.  And I'll be following up with Fallen Angels soon.  

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[hopefullyababe]

ok so at what point are heart palpatations concerning

asking for a friend

[666bone]

.

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm afab, but I can't tell you how much I want to have both facial hair and a stereotypically feminine figure. I hate being referred to as sir, but can't stand being called ma'am. I want a beard and mustache, I want large hips and breasts. What's going on lol

welcome to the genderfucker club!!!! you are so fucking cooooll

i honestly love my feminine figure, it's hard to see in photographs but i have a very stark hourglass figure and i've had it all my life. i have huge hips and thighs and a teeny waist. i love being curvy but with thick facial and body hair. i have a very strong upper body, broad shoulders and a powerful chest, and that makes me looooove being a man with a thick stereotypical "feminine" hips, waist and legs and a "dude's" upper body. i luv it!!!!!

anyway sorry im rambling. it sounds like you could be nonbinary, a genderfucker, genderqueer, gender non conforming, a drag performer, or any other kind of trans* experience =) you sound fucking awesome and i hope you're able to do what you wanna do, go for it, be who you wanna be, there are literally no limits or boundaries to what you can do. if you wanna be someone with fat titties and a massive beard, please do it

hope you have a great day, good luck in ur journey, you kick ass

[ninja-scenarios]

Aizawa with a darling who likes touching his butt! Wanting to touch it all the time because its so nice and uuuughhhh 👌👏👏👏

Yaaasss i luv Sho so much! Surprisingly I haven't thought about his butt to this point

Aizawa with a darling who likes touching his butt

- okay listen here. Do you know that picture from the manga? Where you see him crouching from behind? Yes. Shouta has a great butt. It´s nice and firm and it´s so pleasant to touch in any way

- when his darling slaps it it produces the best sound! Just a very pleasant slap. So addictive tbh

- the muscle is the best kind of firm with just the right amount of fat. It´s not super stacked, just a nice amount of ass

- his darling uses every opportunity to slap his butt when they pass him in their home and uses every opportunity where both of his hands are busy to attack his butt

- when they´re not slapping it, they´re giving it little taps

- most of the time Sho will endure it or give a little grunt, yet when his darling doesn´t stop he will get annoyed

- when Shouta wears sweatpants... dude 🤤. The urge to touch his butt is through the roof. His darling is having a very hard time looking respectfully 👀

- it doesn't help that when at home and feeling comfortable, Sho usually wears nothing but sweatpants. When he notices their stares he's usually very smug about it. "Something you want, kitty cat?"

- cue to his darling buying him all kinds of pants that bring out his butt

- once they put their hands on him while Sho wore headphones and it startled the poor man pretty badly

- it would depend on his mood if he would reciprocate the action. I think Shouta would only do that in the literal bedroom though (another exception listed down below)

- Sho is more the typ that goes for a nice little feel of his darling´s butt when he passes them once in a while, only slapping it roughly when he´s had a frustrating day

- "Why is anaconda by Nicki Minaj in our playlist?"

- also if he´s in the mood, once in a blue moon when his darling slaps his butt really loudly he´ll make sure to grab and fireman-carry them into the bedroom and spank them on the way

- his name in their contacts is Sho me the 🍑👀🤤

- if Shouta came home pretty tired and done with everything, his darling would welcome him with a hug. “Long day, mh?” - *Sho gives affirmative tired little grunt* - “I´m sure you did well, baby!” *darling pats his butt in a “good job!” kind of way*

- if his darling touched his butt out of nowhere and he´s in a very good mood (the kid´s didn´t bother him, no villains on the streets) he will throw them over his shoulder and slap their butt roughly while chuckling before setting them back on the ground "You know, two can play that game babe."

- once they gave him an actual bruise because they slapped his butt too hard. They apologized profusely, yet Shouta just chuckled and said he´s had worse

- they try to get him to do yoga with them so they can stare. Sho saw through it the minute they asked him though and had a lot of fun embarrassing them about it. “Yoga, mh? So you can look at my butt? Seriously, why do you like it so much?” *tilts their chin up* “Don´t go shy on me now, kitten. Come on, you can tell daddy.”

- this man never payed attention to his ass before so after he sees his darling so smitten with it he can be caught checking himself out in the mirror. “Is it really that nice? Oh, I see...”

- starts including a few rounds of squads in his workout routine

- would use it for dirty talk. “Naughty little thing. Don´t think I don´t see the way you eye me during the day. You love touching me, don´t you? I should bind your hands and feed you my cock to put you back in place.”

- How spanking would go down in the bedroom depends on his mood as well (sometimes the man is just too tired to bother with it). If he´s in a good mood he´ll let his fingers dip in between their thighs in between slaps. Just when they start getting lost in pleasure he´d deliver the next slap, edging them until they cried. If Shouta´s in a bad mood, he´d spank his darling until their skin bruised, making them bite down on something and punishing them whenever they falter against the wall. But he would always use his hands (they're so nice and big and rough, ughhhh yes pls 🥴)

- I think Shouta would draw the line if his darling wanted to spank him during sex. He loves being in control in the bedroom so he wouldn´t enjoy it

- another no-go is doing anything to his butt in public. Shouta is known to dislike PDA and would probably have talked about it with his darling the minute they started developing a liking towards touching his butt