#i loved the older seasons so much more and shawn was always my fav character on the show

[lavishresilience]

topanga  hated  to  see  the  way  that  shawn  thought  of  himself.  he  was  so  much  more  than  this.  so  much  more  than  what  he  thought  was  true.  because  in  her  opinion?  it  was  the  absolute  furthest  thing  from  ever  being  true.  at  all.  topanga  wouldn't  know  what  he  was  going  through  because  she,  of  course,  didn't  live  it.  or  live  with  the  abandonment  he  faced  day  in  and  day  out.  the  way  he  felt  was  not  his  fault  in  the  slightest.  it  came  out  of  what  he'd  been  put  through.  he  should've  never  had  to  go  through  this  from  his  parents.  the  people  that  are  supposed  to  love  you  the  most  in  the  world.  only  to  toss  you  aside  and  make  you  feel  so  little.  shawn  deserved  to  be  given  a  better  life.  a  stable  family  who  only  wanted  to  see  shawn  succeed  and  do  good.  because  he  was  capable  of  it.  even  if  he  didn't  think  he  was.  topanga  saw  that  deep  within  him  it  could  of  been  possible.  if  only  he'd  been  given  that  chance. ❛❛   you  know  shawn.  .  .  i  think  you  may  only  be  doing  that  to  protect  yourself.  to  keep  yourself  entirely  away  from  the  possibility  of  being  hurt  from  those  around  you  that  you  care  about  and  that  care  about  you.  ❜❜   topanga  watched  and  intently  listened  to  shawn  speak  to  see  if  there  was  someway  she  could  help  him  ─  maybe  even  offer  him  some  sort  of  comfort.  ❛❛ shawn,  you're  not  pathetic.  you  were  put  through  a  lot.  more  than  anyone  should  have  to  go  through  in  their  life.  you're  not  the  one  in  the  wrong  here.  you  know  that,  right?  you're  just  trying  to  figure  it  out  all  on  your  own  and  it's  hard.  you  don't  have  to  go  through  it  alone,  either.  ❜❜ topanga  didn't  want  shawn  to  feel  like  he  had  to  continously  blame  himself  for  the  abandonment  he  faced.  for  going  through  things  a  child  shouldn't  have  to  go  through  because  of  a  parent  not  knowing  how  to  be  one.  oh,  it  was  okay.  she  knew  that  cory  was  his  best  friend  for  years.  and  knew she mattered to him. she  loved  how  they  cared  about  each  other.  there  was  never  a  time  where  she'd  come  between  it.  topanga  cared  for  the  both  of  them  which  meant  that  he'd  always  have  a  friend  whenever  he  needed  one.  maybe  her  words  did  feel  like  anything  but  the  truth  but  a  lot  of  the  things  she  said  she  wouldn't  of  if  she  didn't  mean  them.  shawn  deserved  a  lot  more  than  what  he  was  given  to  deal  with.  and  she  wished  so  badly  that  there  was  a  way  she  could've  gave  him  that.  he  wasn't  responsible  for  the  actions  of  somebody  else  ─  let  alone  his  own  parents.  chet  was  going  to  do  what  he  was  going  to  do  and  it  wasn't  shawn's  doing.    ❛❛ it's  not  your  fault.  it's  not  your  fault  that  your  dad  couldn't  stick  around  for  you.  it  isn't.  if  he  wants  to  miss  out  on  the  children  he  has  and  their  lives?  that's  his  decision  to  make.  if  you  ask  me?  he's  making  the  biggest  mistake.  ❜❜  topanga's  heart  felt  like  it  was  about  to  break  as  she  heard  his  voice  suddenly  crack.  ❛❛  you  never  deserved  this.  .  .  you  didn't.   you  are  more  than  enough.  you're  enough  for  me.  you're  enough  for  cory  and  the  entire  matthews  family.  and  if  anyone  has  anything  to  say  about  that?  well,  you  can  just  tell  them  to  get  lost.  ❜❜ topanga  voice  turning  quite  fiesty  and  annoyed  for  him;  but  never  at  him.

shawn knows that topanga is just trying to help him feel better . maybe even trying to help calm his racing thoughts or shield him from the self hatred that plagues him on a daily basis . it's no secret to anyone that loves and cares about him that he thinks so little of himself . but on the other hand , he truly believes that not a single one of them could fully understand what he's going through because they haven't personally lived through it . least of all jack , who didn't have to grow up with chet hunter as a father and had a normal , stable family to come home to all those years . jack , who had parents who loved him , and supported him , and cared enough to stay and be in his life . parents that wanted the best for their child . shawn never got that .

" no , but i am ! i'm him . i — i — i hurt everybody that i care about . i push them all away . i can't keep a stable relationship to save my life . i run when shit hits the fan . i'm my father and i let him mold me into this — " he stumbles over his words , hands motioning towards himself in clear disgust for the guy he turned out to be . " . . . this pathetic person that i don't know how to unbecome . topanga , i — i don't even know who i am anymore . why am i like this ? why did i ever think this was just okay to be ? "

of course it matters , he wants to say . shawn needs topanga to know that she means just as much to him that cory does ( okay , maybe cory won out a bit more ) . she is one of his best friends and she's an important part of his life . that remained true , even as her words felt like anything but the truth to him . but then she says it and it hits him like a ton of bricks to the chest , knocking the air from his lungs ; you are not responsible for him leaving time and time again . you never were . he'd spent night after night as a child just wondering if he'd been the reason his father would never stick around . he's always known it to be his fault . " how do you know that ? " shawn's voice cracks , betraying the tough exterior he's been trying to maintain despite his crystal clear oncoming breakdown . " why wasn't i enough for anybody ? "

[sapphire374]

my fav girl Eva (I probably wont read it rn because of spoilers but i will save it to read later). I really like Eva as the protagonist, I feel like she is such a real feeling character and just so fun, she is a fresh of breath air, I love the sibling duo and I love her.

Yesssssssss I LOVE Eva!!! She’s probably one of my fave characters of all time and such a role model. Also don’t worry, I understand you haven’t seen much of the show so I shall try not to spoil anything for you to the best of my ability!

Favorite thing about them:

I love how her character loves science and introduces STEM to the younger generation. How even though she would sometimes get made fun of for it she doesn’t care, she lets herself be free with her curiosity and love for science and astronomy. How she can immediately start a conversation about it is just so fascinating.

Least favorite thing about them:

Hmmm this one is hard but I guess it’s how she would sometimes wouldn’t notice when she’s a little too harsh on Ruben. Like she would most of the times want to time travel to see JJ but then tells Ruben that he can’t time travel for his own reasons. Ngl it’s funny but also wrong since she too has her selfish reasons 😆. I understand though that it’s a typical sibling lol. Completely get it.

brOTP:

Her and Mercedes!!!!! Mercedes is a literal sweetheart and I just love how supportive Mercedes is of Eva and same thing of Eva to Mercedes. I find their friendship mutual and full of love. I love her friendship with Delaila too but found her and Mercedes to just feel a little bit more special. Mechi acted like a best friend and even a mature older sister/mom too all in one, it was very adorable and I love their bond so much.

OTP:

Jeva for life!!!!!! Aurek and Tiago are cool characters and all but JJ and her are just so so so so cute!!! (I know I’ve used the word ‘cute’ too many times but it’s my favorite word to use 😆). JJ as a character literally gets better and better throughout the seasons. I love how respectful, empathetic, sweet, and caring he is. You can tell literally how much he loves and truly cares about her. How he easily worried about her and always thinks about her and she always thinks about him. They’re soulmates 😌

nOTP:

Her and a specific character named Danilo. That’s a spoiler but don’t worry cause I only mentioned his name and it was only part of a minor change from a timeline. Either way I felt bad for the poor guy and it was just so random. 😆

Random Headcanon:

Eva probably didn’t believe in love much. Like she did since she would want a love like her Nono and Nona but didn’t think she would find one especially since she doesn’t feel like she fits much into this era. After discovering 1957, when she finds JJ is when she realizes that it was part of her destiny, in the cards for love to find her and that’s JJ. She probably wasn’t expecting someone to truly be in love with and neither was he till they met each other.

Unpopular Opinion:

So this part isn’t really a spoiler, just an opinion since instead of there being Aurek in season two there’s Tiago. I personally feel that yes Tiago is a great guy but doesn’t fully appreciate Eva, love and appreciating are two different things. I don’t doubt that he loves her but I don’t think that he appreciates her. I noticed that he didn’t really have a crush on her till later on while JJ no matter what, is always there for her. He would go to the end of the world for her. He has an internal commitment to her and I just find that special. Her and Tiago are cool and cute at times but her and JJ feel like the real deal.

Song I associate with them:

Happier by Olivia Rodrigo

Look Up at the Stars by Shawn Mendes

Today was a Fairytale by Taylor Swift

Favorite pictures of them:

[curlytemple]

niche interests list 

okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me! 

pigs????

alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies. 

sugar creek gang 

OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes. 

 the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully) 

tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect. 

peter pan

so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth. 

shug

you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.  

the summer series

on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation. 

pappyland

this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.  

boy meets world

i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!

i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.

lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.