#i love you low int characters i love you high int characters who never use the goddamn high int except to be the weirdest little shit

[lunarrolls]

i was curious after travis mentioned chetney having the highest intelligence score in the party last episode so i looked at every campaign three pc’s stats on the wiki and. he beats every single one. it’s not even close. deanna, fearne, and fcg all have negative one intelligence modifiers at 8 (fcg) and 9 (deanna and fearne), imogen has a plus zero at 11, laudna, ashton, frida, and yu/dusk have a plus one at 12, and orym (also with a plus one) has the best besides chetney at 13. chetney. has a 16. which is a plus three. it is also worth noting that two of the people with positive intelligence (frida and orym) have been noted to believe the earth is flat. i honestly don’t think half this party can read i’m gonna be real travis was right chetney having the highest intelligence score is Fucking Terrifying

[dr-docktor]

Local Docktor thinks its a fantastic idea to crossover his two biggest interests at the moment.

First for some context (don't worry, I'll keep it brief). One of my best friends has been working on a table-top RPG since like high school called Percentile. And its the main game that the group plays for our campaigns. Thus, it never leaves my head.

You know what else doesn't leave my head? Spies are Forever.

So here I am. Planning out what theoretical character sheets would look like for Owen and Curt. I'm so normal. I swear. Below the cut includes my insane ramblings on this topic.

I will also be playing a little fast and loose with some of the rules here because making character sheets in this game, while fun, is LENGTHY. And I'm insane but I'm not THAT insane

Ok so I want to start with Owen because I'm making him a mage and I LOVE building mages.

For the sake of simplicity I'm gonna keep 'em both human. (boring I know. but the list of ancestries is so long it almost overwhelms me for this)

To quickly explain the percentages: That is basically your rate of success on any given skill/action. So the higher the number, the more likely they are to succeed!

Owen's Stats

Power represents magic. POW is just another word for mana. And size mainly only impacts things like how easy you are to tackle/grapple and what spaces you can squeeze into.

So he's got 10 HP

14 POW

2 Soak (armor, it takes 2 points off of whatever damage they were hit with)

+28 initiative bonus (initiative dictates who goes first in combat. The higher your number, the more likely you are to go first)

and can move 5 squares per turn (turns last 6 seconds), or 6 if he runs.

All fairly standard for a human mage. The interesting stuff starts with choosing his spells.

In Percentile, the standard mage can have a few collections of spells called Spell Schools. They can only have one spell from each school prepared at once but can spend 6 hours a day switching them out safely (or do it within seconds if you wanna feel the consequences)

So here's the spell schools I think he'd have

BLAST -> its in the name, you get several spells that are just different types of blasts. So magical bullets, lasers, etc.

CHANGE -> He'd probably use this spell school mainly for his DMA disguise but instead of a mask he can physically change his appearance for several hours a day.

VISION -> Great for espionage and detective work. Spells include making you really good at looking for stuff, being able to see events that transpired previously within a room, and gathering information.

WOUNDING -> Gives him access to several magical bladed weapons. Good for Torture and homosexually sword fighting your ex lover.

really good... ouch.

Skills/knowledges are another story and are one of my least favorite parts of character building so I'll briefly go over it.

High intimidation, spot hidden (looking for stuff. almost every percentile character needs a decent spot hidden), move quietly, resist, and rapine (rapine is like sleight of hand, pickpocketing, handling small and/or delicate things)

Middling physical skills like jumping, climbing, etc. first aid, hide, and survival

Low grapple.

His knowledges would include

High performance (haha actor man), espionage, and literacy

Middling lore

Low cooking. and everything else. He can cook its just all post WWII British food which I think should qualify for being bad at it.

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE PART: Traits and Scars.

SCARS

his scars include more physical stuff like reduced hearing and chronic pain (player would roll a dice to see how bad the pain is that day to see if he needs to use a mobility device). But also include

Untrusting - CHAR INT based - compelled to roll an idea check to see if someone is lying every time he starts a new interaction with someone. On a fail he believes they are lying no matter what

POSSIBLE TRAITS

Magic Hair, for my long-haired Owen fans. Basically he has hair that's so cool it makes him more charismatic.

Strong Promises. Whenever the character makes a promise, they get a bonus to whatever stat that will help them achieve that promise.

Plotting. Whenever characters with this trait record or speak out a plan, it functions as if they practiced it for an additional day. Perfect for villain monologues.

Pull At Soul. Characters with this trait declare a goal during each level up. These goals can be something like “plan with everyone in the party about the mission & use that plan”, it can be “avenge my fathers killer” “seek out & find the sage” or more abstract things, “Die & be born anew in the eyes of my community” or “See the moon as it truly is”. They cannot tell any other characters about this goal. Once they achieve this goal as determined by them & the GM, anytime they are at 1 HP they can choose to level up.

Buddies! -> Select another character. Decide on a secret handshake, set of gestures, or exchange. It does not have to be uniform, but does have to be meaningful. Anytime you perform this with them, and one of you gains exhaustion, instantly both of you gain 1d3 to a stat. They do not have to be the same stat, select them when you take the maneuver. If the other dies, this trait is removed, granting the character back the trait points, and the character gains a -1d3 to that stat forever.  (THE FUCKING HANDSHAKE)

I think that's all for Owen!!

It's Curt's turn!

God I was SO tempted to make him a Ragamuffin for this. But I'm sticking with humans. I don't even know why. I just think it would be funny. Something fun about the 'brute' being made of fabric and fluff.

Anyway. Stats!!

12 HP

8 POW (not important given he's a fighter and not a mage)

3 soak

+27 Initiative bonus

and can move 4 squares per turn, 6 squares if he's running.

Instead of spells, fighters get weapon proficiencies and maneuvers! Maneuvers are basically fancy fighting styles and actions.

Possible weapon options: Short sword (what they fight with in the show), a gun, and fisticuffs. Mages also get a weapon or two and tbh these could all apply to Owen too.

Possible maneuvers:

Taunt -> It is what it says on the tin, mock your opponent to try and make them get sloppy and target you instead of your allies.

Reckless Strike Back -> When dodging an attack, you can take one extra damage to attempt to hit your opponent back. If you fail you take extra damage.

Induced Sloppiness -> Make yourself unpredictable! on a success you get bonuses to damage and to land hits. Those attacks are really difficult to parry and dodge. On a fail your opponent gets a bonus to parrying and dodging.

Dodging into My Blade -> you must have this maneuver readied. If you opponent dodges your or your allies attack while this is readied, you can basically say "Lmaoooo" and attack them again

Skills!

High physical stuff like jumping and climbing, resist, move quietly, hide

Middling intimidation, spot hidden, repine, and grapple

Low first aid (scared of own blood) and listen.

Knowledges!

High linguistics, cooking, and espionage

Middling riding arts (for cars and stuff)

Low almost everything else (doesn't mean he's dumb. Fighters just aren't built for having a ton of knowledges)

Possible Scars!

Alcoholic - CON based - Roll a withstand check upon the GM's orders to see if you feel the urge to take a drink. On a fail you either take a swig or suffer withdrawal

Bad With Magic - POW and CON based - Anytime characters with this scar roll a check involving power expenditure, the GM describes it as if they are deeply unsettled by it, that it seems strange, random and scary, and that they are somehow making a mistake, regardless of what the magic does, how it functions, or if they succeeded or not. 

Possible Traits!

Buddies! -> Select another character. Decide on a secret handshake, set of gestures, or exchange. It does not have to be uniform, but does have to be meaningful. Anytime you perform this with them, and one of you gains exhaustion, instantly both of you gain 1d3 to a stat. They do not have to be the same stat, select them when you take the maneuver. If the other dies, this trait is removed, granting the character back the trait points, and the character gains a -1d3 to that stat forever.  (THE FUCKING HANDSHAKE AGAIN)

Poison Blood -> Anyone eating characters with this trait takes 1d6 necrotic damage per SIZ consumed, and the character can take 1 HP from themselves to coat weapons in their blood, which deals 1d4 necrotic damage or stuns the enemy for 1d4-1 turns. It will add this effect to 1 attack until it dries in 3d6+CON turns. (something something alcohol-poisoned blood)

Sturdy ->  While at max HP characters with this trait cannot be reduced below 1 HP in one hit.

Natural Jester -> Anytime characters with this trait crit fail any check, anyone who witnesses it must roll a withstand check or be stunned for 1 turn. 

Fast to The Fight -> Add +3 to initiative rolls (can be taken more than once)

There's actually a TON of traits that could fit Curt but I'm capping it off here because I will go overboard.

Anyway thanks for reading! Sorry if any of this is incomprehensible.

[calllamander]

Okay I'm ready I've made up my mind , here's a little backstory no one wants to hear: my sister just got engaged and I cried for about half an hour because I was so freakin happy for her sooo I'm in such a lovely mood , maybe you can pick that up and write a little engagement thingy ? :) idc if it's drabble hcs or else , whatever works best for you sweetie 😊 also you can pick the character ...... but we both know who works always for us lmao

Thank you so muuuch and take all the time you need ! 💖

ahhhh! this is so sweet! nonnie congrats to your sister!! when I got this ask I literally started smiling so wide in my online class that everyone was really confused 😂 I hope this is alright...and plausible haha I’ve never been proposed to (hurry up Tooru smh) - sorry for the wait, this is my piece de résistance and I wanted it to be as good as it could be ❣️

Hq boys proposing

KUROO smiled at you from the passenger seat, your hand in his as usual as you drove, Tokyo fading into the patchwork fields of country. “tetsu...” you ask, laughing as the wind tangled you’re hair, “where are we going?” it seemed almost as if he had been waiting for you to ask because he suddenly looked nervous, very nervous, the kind of nervous where he accidentally blurts out chemistry pick up lines on the first date (it’s a miracle he got a second one). he looked over, emboldened by your easy enthusiasm. “do you remember when we were still in high school, and you used to call me and just say ‘get me out of here?’ ” his voice is low and serious, and impossibly gentle with emotion. you nod, and your smile gets sadder at the memory, the memory of you. “well,” he stops the car and opens up his door, hurrying round to do the same for yours, composing his thoughts as you start the walk, down the path off the road, along the river, and he feels a flush of pride as recognition illuminates your face. it’s a perfect evening, the sky is watercolour pink and orange, and the water reflects it perfectly. “we found this place by chance” he continued speaking faster from nerves, “and when we walked down this- this exact path, i knew that this was different from anything else. my whole life I have had a good life, and I had been with good people and yet I‘d just felt...” he paused, and looked you right int he eyes, before sighing out: “restless.” your mouth opens slightly and you whisper his name. “And you know when I’m with you I just feel still” he continues, starting to blink back tears. “and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything y/n l/n, and” he got down on one knee: in front of the setting sun, and the river refracting the light. and he did look still. he looked radiant and relaxed and so so happy. and you covered your face with your hands but stopped yourself because you didn’t want to miss any of this. “and this is my moms ring” he said, “and i wish she could’ve met you but I know she would have“ his voice cracked and he looked away for a split second, swallowing hard, “would have loved you almost as much as I do.” he grinned in spite of himself and you smiled too, even through your tears. “so,” he laughed, “after all this, I guess ill just....” he laughed again, messing his hair up agitatedly, “will you marry me?”

“yes!” you laugh and run towards him, “a thousand times yes!”

OIKAWA looked himself over once more in the mirror, he’d tried hard to look like he’s trying but also casual which makes him feel kind of stupid but that paradox of appearances and feelings is just how he’s wired. casual. not I’ve-been-planning-this-for-forever-and-if-it-goes-badly-i-don’t-have-the-faintest-idea-what-I’d-do. that’s not what he wants. it needs to be a total surprise. the rings already in his breast pocket, right above his heart. the ring feels like happiness. “princess?” he spins and offers you his arm, “ready?” And when he’s sees you he blushes down neck like when its genuine, because you look beautiful in that dress, and he might be getting a little bit choked up, and ducking down to hide it. because...because it’s you, because he’s actually doing this. with you. actually. finally. “lets go then” you laugh and he laughs back with a determination usually reserved for the court. because this is everything. the drive is a short one and the night air is cold against your cheek, the streetlights make oikawa’s hair a coppery halo round his head and the wind fluffs it up in a way he gets frustrated about but you could stare at all day. “i love you ” you sigh, looking over at your boyfriend, and he blushes and stutters and tries to focus on the road. “I love you too darling” and he gives you the gentlest smile that he‘s ever shared with anyone “te amo, mi alma.” he parks and takes your hand. the observatory is empty: long closed, and your heels clack on the tiled floor. the stairs are steep, but the two of you are young and you‘re boundless because that’s what love does to people. in no time at all you step out, into the round room that forms the top floor, and gasp. there’s candles set in the corners and there’s flowers and there’s your boyfriend looking utterly ethereal, his white shirt a buttery yellow in the candle light. and you feel your heart just ache with how much you love him. he presses a button, and, as the roof starts to open up like a flower, he takes a deep breath. “when I was younger every time I felt lonely I used to think about space” sliver by sliver the roof was opening up, and you could see a glass dome, snatches of stars, pinpricks of light. torus voice was gentle, and fragile, and proud and horrifically insecure and somehow everything because it was him. “theres more out there“ He glanceable up at the sky unfolding, “than we can ever comprehend...I liked it. I liked that it was infinite. i liked that I belonged to something that was chaotic and orderly and empty and full” he swallowed hard. “and then there was you. and you were the best person I had ever met. and I thought that maybe I would have to be something else for you, because i’ve felt like that my whole life. but you - you just...made me feel like I belonged. and I didn’t need the night sky anymore because this,” the roof finally opened all the way and for one perfect moment it was just you, tooru and the universe: the heaviness of him, and the lightness too. “this is infinite.” he dropped down on one knee. “y/n l/n I love you with everything in the solar system and I will until every last star is blown out, and a thousand years more. and this isn’t horrifically corny so I’m going to just ask: will you marry me?” You let out a sob

“yes”

SAKUSA leant into your touch the way he never had for anyone else. like a warmth he never knew was missing, a tiny puzzle piece in his soul. your hand was running through his hair, occasionally creeping down to rub his back. he blushes, because irritatingly he can’t stop himself (but does he wean them to?). you‘re off guard now, relaxed, eyes closed, breathing in the night air from the roof of your apartment block. his face is in your neck and it’s all very peaceful (so peaceful it makes his heart hurt). he takes a deep breath (its now or never). “...hey y/n?” you hum, opening your eyes to show you’re listening. he struggles to think of what to say. “i love you” he settles on. you kiss his hair, “I love you too omi.” you say it like it’s obvious and he shakes his head, sitting up a little more so he can look at you. “no, I mean...I- I didn‘t know what love was. and I didn’t realise how badly I wanted it, until I met you. and I just” he exhales, momentarily turning his head up to stare into the sky. “I want to spend forever with you. that. that’s what I want. and I don’t have a ring, or a dramatic plan and maybe that’s what you would have wanted-” he’s looking down now, he knows, getting nervous, and he forces himself to get back on track. “but” He realises he should be kneeling and goes to do so in front of you. “I would be the happiest man alive if you would marry me.” and there, on a camp bed that he dragged onto the roof and covered with bedding just because you mentioned you liked the night, under the cloudy 11 o clock sky with the love of your life. you said yes.

@anonanonymousanon

[curioussubjects]

OK I WATCHED SACRIFICE

justice4billy, first of all (& hugs for roslin omg that bit when she fixed his hair my heart 😭😭).

second of all: i cannot CANNOT believe the first cheating buffoon was dee of all people this is Very Rich. also, dee, bby, i actually really do like your character but whyyy are you dumping billy for lee. especially since she already knew lee and kara had some messy bullshit going on. the instant karma there OOF. 

no but really im actually surprised in my lj spelunking i never saw folks talk about dee cheating before anyone else did, instead i mostly saw folks complaining about pilots-related infidelity wank. sometimes...missing out on a fandom’s heyday....is better.

anyway, thoughts and prayers to samuel anders for being the only well-adjusted member of the quadrangle of doom. free yourself legend. 

this show cracks me up though using gd ellen as authorial mouthpiece: 

“well it's hard, you know? to choose the people we fall in love with...to love only one person at a time. people like us are more complicated.”

bsg if rdm understood polyamory lolsobs. not that i think pilots could handle polyamory considering how intensely focused they are on each other. 

in other related and unsubtle news: sure is interesting how lee decides to get in the middle of a gunfight (for why??) and ends up getting shot by kara, who as a result unlocks another level in trauma and guilt. and then!!! kara watching lee from the shadows in sickbay while dee is there!! much to think about!!! (also violence) 

and speaking of lee: incredible high int low wis rep lmfao i love my idiot son he’s SO jhkjhkjh

LASTLY, my favorite part of the whole episode was kara in civvies. 10/10 outfit i am looking. also marry me.

---

 the captain’s hand is next...eventually bc im still not over scar. pilots 😩

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

[hanatsuki-esperanza]

Mighty Nein Tier List

S Tier

Jester: “Hi, I’m Jester.” I fell in love with her from the start, and the cupcake incident solidified her standing. “Have you heard of the Traveler?” Trickster Cleric, awesome cleric! (also, Jester, sweetie, you could have done so much better for the ending than being an accessory on Fjord’s arm) Caleb: Resident wizard starts off as a dirty homeless man who smears mud all over himself because he has to, ends up with his own tower, friends, and being able to let go of the past. Transmutation Wizards are awesome support characters, and Liam played his beautifully. Caduceus: He came at the right time, and ended up being exactly with the Nein needed after Molly’s death. Throughout the series, he was a massive counterweight to the sheer chaos the rest of the Nein would bring up. His CMOA were threatening Trent and Lucien, so politely, but that’s how you play a high Wis-low Int character.

A Tier

Beau: I’ve seen her described as a “jock who realizes her closet identity as a book nerd,” and yeah, that tracks. Marisha had fun playing her, and when a player has fun with their character, it makes things all the better. Also, monk. Monks are awesome. Yasha: Another A-Tier barbarian. Wonder if this is going to be a trend... Anyways, where Grog was more boisterous, Yasha was quiet, enjoying the little things, the “silent protector” type. Her silent strength and discovery of self...hmmm, a common thread amongst the C2 characters was letting go of the chains of the past. 

B Tier

Nott/Veth: I liked Nott’s concept a lot: “goblin who drinks a lot. why does she drink a lot? because she’s uncomfortable in her body. why is she uncomfortable in her own body? because it’s not her real body.” There’s nothing wrong with her, and I enjoyed her at the table, but compared to the others, she falls a bit. Molly: Probably a controversial opinion, but while I enjoyed Molly and the impact he had on the group, he didn’t stand out to me as much as the above characters. I think this was because while the rest of the Nein continued their stories and grew, he stopped where he dropped, even if his influence allowed for the others to grow and develop. And even after he was gone, Matt still used him (or his body) as a BBEG instead of making a different BBEG, which... didn’t really work for me.

C Tier

Fjord: He...tries his best(?), but just...no thanks.

The Basement

Essek: Only on this list because the of the wiki; I wouldn’t even consider putting him on this list otherwise. In my mind, he’s a helpful NPC (at best) and an annoying DMPC (at worse). I’m a sucker for villain redemption, as long as they haven’t passed the moral event horizon, but will never know why the fandom is obsessed with him. Actually, no, that’s a lie, I know why: the fandom is obsessed with him because he’s hot. If he disappeared, you wouldn’t see me crying over it.

[theworldbrewery]

what does it mean to play with a high (or low) stat?

fun fact: “commoners” (i.e., your average unskilled random) have a 10 in every ability score.

they are the average of the average. the most middle-of-the-road we can achieve. and they will never reflect your Player Character’s reality.

but they are a great baseline for determining where your characters are outstanding, and where they will struggle.

An average person can lift 50 lbs comfortably, has enough hand-eye coordination to play a decent game of ping-pong against an equally-matched opponent, can fight off most communicable diseases, knows how to read, can tell when they need more information to be able to act, and is able to handle basic social contact when there is no reason for conflict.

***note--I’m using these “averages” to talk about what a non-disabled and neurotypical person will be generally capable of without training or honing a particular skill. Being within 2-3 ability score points of the average doesn’t necessarily require justification, but it might still be fun to explore***

so your barbarian with an 18 in strength isn’t just an outlier, it’s a major difference from what Jane Ordinary can manage on a typical day, and the sweet-talking powers of your 20-charisma sorcerer are going to feel supernatural compared with what the traveling horse salesman is used to. When you’re creating a character, whether that’s an NPC with class levels or a player character, consider why a character’s stats are the way they are.

If they were naturally gifted, is that why they felt called to the class they chose? Did they work hard to be where they are today, and let other abilities fall by the wayside? Did a higher power imbue them with strength, charisma, or wisdom to make a perfect vessel for their plans? Reimagining the reasons behind your statistics can help develop your backstory and even factor into your character arc down the line.

***Another note: be especially self-aware if you’re going to play a neuroatypical, mentally ill, or disabled character and you aren’t yourself a member of the group you’re representing. I love representation but don’t be insensitive---and if anything I mention here comes off as insensitive, let me know and I’ll adjust accordingly!***

STRENGTH: 

At first level, a higher-than-average STR score is going to reflect a lot of training, whether intentional or not. The character may have grown up chopping wood and hauling logs around a woodland village, spent their young adulthood in a mine, or studied with bodybuilders in a remote bodybuilder monastery.

In contrast, a lower-than-average STR score might correspond to a pampered lifestyle, one where the character never needed physical labor to get by; or perhaps they have a disability, such as a bad back, or a chronic illness that leaves their muscles weaker than usual.

DEXTERITY:

A character with a high DEX is flexible and fast. They might have been an acrobat in a circus, flipping around on the trapeze. An urchin whose two options are move fast or get arrested is also likely to be dextrous, as much as a noble who, as a child, often crept around and hid in their family estate to avoid lessons or spy on the adults. They might be from a tree-dwelling community where leaping across platforms is commonplace, or use their dexterity on the rigging of the ship they made their home. A very dextrous person might even have EDS or another condition that makes them hyper-flexible.

A low DEX might, like low STR, match with a disability like arthritis or an old leg injury that never healed properly, or it could align with pressure to behave properly in polite company--never running, climbing, or skulking around. Low DEX could also translate to clumsiness, a fear of taking physical risks, or a tremor that makes Sleight of Hand difficult.

CONSTITUTION:

High CON is a matter of resistance to illness, poison/drugs/alcohol, and general hardiness or stamina. A high CON character might take vitamins and supplements to keep their peak physical condition, do exercises to increase lung capacity or practice running to build endurance. They may take small doses of poison to build up immunity, or maybe they’ve been a low-grade alcoholic for so long their liver is adept at filtering out toxins. They might have done charity marathons to raise money for good causes back home.

Low CON might therefore translate to an arrhythmia or other chronic illnesses such as asthma, POTS, or even severe allergies. The low CON character could have been trapped in a sheltered upbringing that never exposed them to disease or required them to stand and move for hours. Maybe they have never been exposed to drink or drugs and are an incurable lightweight.

INTELLIGENCE:

A high-INT character may have spent years under the tutelage of scholars, worked hard to get into an educational institution, or learned history and magic from the elders of their community with the intent to carry the knowledge into the next generation. They may have autism that helps with information recall, ADHD that leads to hyperfocus on a few specific topics, or another form of neurodiversity.

A low-INT character may have never had the chance to learn from their uneducated family, or be so without a community that no one bothered to teach them. They might have a learning disability, memory problems, or chronic fatigue that causes brain fog.

WISDOM:

A high-WIS character is generally observant, able to assess the intentions of others, clear-headed, and pragmatic--or at least practical. High Wisdom may come from being taught from a young age to pay attention to one’s surroundings, be a part of a community’s religious or ethical worldview, or be a necessary skill developed for survival in a world full of hazards or underhanded strangers. High WIS scores can also derive from anxiety or trauma that make characters more sensitive to information and more likely to observe patterns that otherwise go unnoticed.

Low WIS characters might have very little life experience, or be naive because of the way they’ve been taught to view the world. They might have issues with visual or auditory processing that affect their perception, have low empathy that makes insight a struggle, or experience depression, psychosis, or paranoia that leads to difficulty assessing what is real.

CHARISMA:

High CHA characters may spend months or years mastering the performing arts, honing their ability to lie or stretch the truth, or practicing their most intimidating posture. Or their Charisma may stem from being completely genuine and trustworthy, without any apparent artifice. Characters with sociopathy may know how to turn any social encounter to their advantage, and those with high empathy may be simply likeable. A high-CHA character could be funny, attractive, talented, or have a magnetic personality for any number of reasons, including trying to impress a particular social group or person, a career goal as a comedian or performer, or being raised with rustic hospitality.

A low-CHA character may have trouble with eye contact or even be compulsively unable to lie (or a compulsive liar that’s simply unconvincing); they might have sensory issues that make them sensitive to music or certain vocal timbres, or they might be brusque and businesslike. Low Charisma can stem from a roughshod upbringing, a cultural emphasis on stark honesty even when unsolicited, or a lack of awareness for someone else’s perspective. Even a speech impediment or a trauma that leads to skittishness can read as low-Charisma if you want to play it that way (though it doesn’t have to be).

Sometimes, a character is in the middle-of-the-road but you still want to include one of the options mentioned above. In that case, they could have multiple “conflicting” influences in their background. A character with ADHD might be very good with a specific subject but the ADHD also manifests as memory issues, reflecting a 12 Intelligence score and its ambiguity (and proficiency in specific skills will reflect the specificity of hyperfocus, for instance). 

None of these are hard-and-fast rules. If you want to play a character with chronic pain that doesn’t have a matching low score, that’s also amazing! But if you’re starting from the stats and want to figure out the “in-game justification” for why someone’s abilities are where they are, I hope this little outline helps.

If you like our posts, consider donating to our Ko-Fi @ theworldbrewery. We are saving up for Volo’s Guide to Monsters (and I’m kinda looking forward to trashing Volo’s opinions)

[wireless-telegraph]

for the fandom asks, ofc i’m gonna have to say tua 👀

1. The first character I first fell in love with

Probably Klaus? Five hadn't stepped onto screen yet, and I loved Klaus's aesthetic from the get go. Robert Sheehan's also one of the few actors I was familiar with prior to this series (loved Misfit). 2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now Luther. The more I thought about his character and potential for character development the more I fell in love with him. In addition, high int-low wis characters I have a particular soft spot for. 3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t

I don't know if there's a character I particularly dislike that everyone else loves? In part bc the characters I dislike are ones that everyone universally dislikes (Reggie, Harold, Carl). 4. The character I love that everyone else hates

Luther. I still see some anti-luther stragglers from Season one. In addition, there's Lila Pitts and Allison Hargreeves. Absolutely stellar and amazing characters. But there are people who are vocally against them for reasons that literally make no sense if you actually watch and care about the source material. 5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer

I haven't fallen out of love for a character. 6. The character I would totally smooch

Allison Hargreeves. She's such an amazing woman. Her charm is through the roof, nevermind she could wear a garbage bag and somehow make it look couture. 7. The character I’d want to be like

This is not the fandom for this question. 8. The character I’d slap

Reggie is a clear choice. If i could do it without being killed on sight, I would. That said, I’d love to give all of Team Zero a good shaking.

9. A pairing that I love Yes hello. I am in love with Almond (Ray makes me swoon. Their ride or die mentality makes me yell. I love it.), Liego (Affectionate bantering with a side of moments of vulnerability is my favorite ship dynamic), and Klave (what is more romantic than the potential of a ghost boyfriend??) equally for different reasons, but I also very much adore Author (Autumn x Luther). I’ve fleshed out Autumn’s character and created a dynamic for them that i absolutely would have loved to see in show. 10. A pairing that I despise The Hargreeves x each other. No no no no no. Bad for obvious reasons (pseudo-incest is still incest). But especially for anyone paired with Five (outside of Delores). He’s physically a minor.

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: “Win Big”

And so we begin. For real, this time.

And to start, we have to go all the way back to Animaniacs season 1, episode 2, with the very first Pinky and the Brain skit which is named “Win Big”.

Interestingly enough, the duo are not directly trying to take over the world in this episode. The premise is that Brain needs money to buy the one part needed for his actual plan to take over the world using a machine he calls the “Super-Conductive Magnetic Infindibulator”, which will “deplete hydrogen and promote gravitational collapse [to produce] a magnetic charge from the center of the Earth so strong that every person who has loose change in their pockets will be magnetically drawn to the ground and stuck there”.

…

For those of you who are new to the series and for those of you who maybe can’t remember the show very well, I want to say that yes, what you’re probably asking yourself right now is true: Brain’s plans are almost always this complex and completely absurd with giant, glaring holes in logistics. There’s been a long-time “theory” that while their theme song says “one is a genius, the other’s insane” and intends to indicate that Brain is the genius while Pinky’s insane, it’s actually the other way around. And honestly? That doesn’t exactly hold up to any kind of scrutiny at all. Brain is actually a genius…he’s just also very, very short-sighted and lacks a lot of common sense. He’s so focused on his goal of world domination that he forgets to account for even the most obvious of details that would completely ruin what he’s trying to accomplish. And Pinky? Well, Pinky’s a lot smarter than he seems, but I wouldn’t exactly mark him as a genius. He’s just more worldly, more emotionally intelligent, and has a knack for pointing out the obvious. For you D&D nerds out there, think of it like this: Brain is a high INT low WIS character while Pinky is a high WIS low INT character.

As for which one is “insane”? Disregarding the…let’s just say “problematic” baggage that comes with that word, I’d argue that Pinky is just neurodivergent and Brain has a lot of problems. Like, a lot of problems. We’ll get more into that mess much farther down the line.

In any case, the opening of this episode has Brain pulling Pinky away from watching what is obviously supposed to be The Honeymooners, complete with “Bang, zoom, right in the kisser!” quote and everything. That quote, or one like it, was what the character Ralph Kramden would frustratedly yell at his wife, Alice, after she’d dismiss a get rich quick scheme of his. It was an ultimately impotent threat of violence, as he never did hit her. A lot of folks before me have delved into how messed up and controversial that whole running gag was, so I didn’t particularly feel the need to go over it here.

However, it does become immediately relevant because as Pinky laughs at the joke and excitedly quotes it while Brain is trying to get his attention, Brain reaches up and gently holds both their faces close for a few moments…

“Stop saying that, Pinky!...”

…then more aggressively tugs Pinky’s face down as he finishes with “…Or I shall have to hurt you.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry, Brain. NARF!”

Isn’t it interesting how the very first thing this series does is juxtapose Pinky and the Brain’s relationship with that of the main married couple on The Honeymooners? Like, it’s certainly not the most healthy of a relationship parallel to make, but in Pinky and Brain’s favour their world is governed by slapstick humour and thus any and all violence is much less serious. Also, there’s Pinky’s…uh…special relationship with physical pain that will become more apparent as the series goes on. Like, of course this kind of behaviour is wrong and appalling in real life, but this is a Warner Brothers Looney Toons-style cartoon and there’s a big difference between the two.

There’s also this little tidbit of information on the Animaniacs wiki regarding this episode and its writer, Peter Hastings:

“Although Peter Hastings has stated that he always tried to have Brain threaten to hurt Pinky but never actually hit him (because he felt this was both funnier and truer to the character), Tom Ruegger and the other producers would often have Brain actually hit Pinky. Even in this very first short, the Brain does follow through.”

Moving on, though, after Brain Rube Goldberg machine’s his way out of their cage and points out that Pinky has an “inordinately short attention span” after Pinky gets briefly distracted by another TV show that’s a very blatant parody of Jeopardy, he explains to Pinky his latest plan for world domination.

“EGAD, Brain, brilliant!”

“…Uh oh, no, wait…what if they take off their pants?”

^ The face of a man who somehow managed to forget that clothes are removable.

See what I mean about Pinky having a knack for pointing out the obvious? It’s very much needed to counteract Brain’s complete lack of foresight and introspection.

“Then…we’ll have to take over the world quickly.”

…Though there’s also something to be said for Brain’s stubbornness.

So they need a part for Brain’s machine called a Infindibulator, which is for some reason listed in the Farmer’s Almanac??? Which to my knowledge doesn’t sell anything at all??? Okay, Brain, whatever you say.

Brain actually kicks Pinky directly in the ass to get him up onto the Almanac to read it,

which would be alarming if not for Pinky’s completely happy and sincere “Thanks! :D” afterwards. It’s a mere hint to Pinky’s…predilections. I find it interesting that it’s so subtly foreshadowed in this very first short. I know you newer folks might think I’m joking, but I assure you I’m not. You will see.

As a side note, it’s so odd hearing Rob Paulsen’s early Pinky voice in these first several Animaniacs shorts. I’ve seen fans say that it’s more lispy than the standard Pinky voice that we’re all familiar with, but to me it just sounds like Pinky with a very, very bad cold and a stuffy nose. Get this mouse some nasal spray.

So Pinky finds the entry for the Infindibulator and it costs a whopping $99000. Where would two little lab mice find that kind of cash?

It sure is lucky and convenient that the TV is still on during that moment and tuned into an episode of Jeopardy—I mean “Gyp-Parody” (Really, writers? Really? In addition to being a horrible and lazy pun, I would rather not have to type a slur so much, so I’m just going to call it the name of the show it’s based on) where the reward for winning totals $99000.

And here we go, the first of its kind. The birth of the most famous running joke from Pinky and the Brain!

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“I think so, Brain, but where are we going to get a duck and a hose at this hour?”

…Believe it or not, Pinky’s bizarre answers do have an explanation and a certain logic to them, but we find out the hows and whys much, much farther along in the series. That said, I’ll be damned if I know how he got to this particular train of thought right now. The inner machinations of Pinky’s mind are an enigma.

So Brain gets the idea to become a contestant on Jeopardy to win the amount of money they need for their plan. Pinky points out that the questions on the game show are very, very hard and Brain would have to get all of them right, and I just love Brain slowly turning his head to face Pinky with the most deadpan “Bitch, are you for real?” look on his face.

To Brain’s credit, he doesn’t berate the other mouse at all for his doubts. He just very calmly asks Pinky to quiz him about anything he can think of. When Pinky asks him “What is pie?”, well, see above for the summary of the answer Brain gives.

He then asks for a harder question, and Pinky asks him which TV character says “Bang! Zoom!—“ before Brain cuts him off with a wack of a pencil for quoting something inane and annoying him again.

Though he quivers a little before the smack, Pinky’s fine afterwards. Smiling, even.

And he happily gives Brain the answer anyway, complete with bows. “Ralph Kramden! TA-DAH! :D”

But Brain is insistent on preparing to go on Jeopardy, grabbing Pinky by the tail to drag him off-screen and Pinky is…

Hmm.

He’s, uhh, more than fine with it.

Now we get the debut of the human suit mecha. It’s quite the staple of the series; the go-to for a human disguise whenever the mice need one.

And it certainly is…something. You may be noticing the lack of a human head. Don’t worry about it. Brain certainly didn’t.

I love Brain’s playful little “Honey, I’m hoooome!~” when he pops his head out, despite having a deadpan look on his face the entire time. He’s having fun!

“Ahahaha! Oh, that’s a funny joke, Brain!”

“I am not devoid of humour.”

Pinky is having a little less fun with his tail accidentally tied along with the shoelaces, however.

It’s fine, he’s fine. He’ll be okay! Pinky is indestructible.

He’s a pocket pal now. He’s fine.

Makin’ my way downtown, walkin’ fast…~

Okay, sorry, he’s hailing a cab instead. Effectively, too!

Oh hi, Warners, nice to see you! Doing a literal running gag, I see. Nice, nice.

Goodbye!

So if you were wondering how regular humans would react to Brain’s “clever” and totally made without proper foresight disguise, well…

“Wh—HOA! Hey, if you don’t mind me askin’, bub, what happened to your head?”

“Nothing. I am a mouse in a large, mechanical suit.”

“Hehehehe! Okay, all right, my fault for askin’, right? Heh.”

Yup. This isn’t the first time this kind of thing happens. I guess since they’re in Hollywood the taxi driver’s seen worse.

So Brain gets on the show (don’t worry about how, shh) and the announcer calls him “Brian” instead and Brain politely tries to correct him. I can’t exactly fault the announcer because 1. “Brain” isn’t a name and 2. Look at Brain’s gloriously messed up handwriting.

The host walks on in. It’s pretty cute that they gave him the parody name “Alex Quebec”. It’s a suitable pun and rhyme to hint at the fact that Alex Trebek was born in Canada. Rest in peace, Mr. Trebek.

The first question is in the category of celebrity shoe sizes and asks what size sandals Plato wore. Umm. Okaaaaay… Thank goodness this show first aired before websites for foot fetishists cataloguing celebrity feet was a thing. Also is it just me, or does that font looks like something off of The Simpsons?

I don’t know if I should be worried or not that Brain got the correct answer to this question. (Seven and a half, if you’re curious.)

Question two is totally a trick question, though. There’s no such place as “Lestho”. “Lesotho”, however, is a real kingdom in South Africa. King Moshoeshoe I was indeed the ruler in 1820 as Brain answers, although the place was called “Basutoland” at the time and didn’t formally become a kingdom until 1822.

Educational!

Question three is a normal if extremely hard question for anyone unfamiliar with geographic locations off of the southeast of Asia. There are a lot of correct answers, and Brain answers correctly with “Bikar, Ailuk, and Ailinglaplap”. As this post notes, he is totally flexing on everyone by naming very obscure coral atoll islands that are some of the furthest neighbours from the Isle of Yap.

You smug asshole, Brain.

We don’t get the questions Brain answers correctly in the following montage, but we do get a close-up of his handwriting. Look at this. Just…look at it.

We get to see the aftermath of Brain’s monopolizing of the scores, though. The other contestants aren’t looking too good. Note that it seems there were times that they did manage to buzz in to answer before Brain did, but they must have got all of their answers or at least most of them wrong. They’re both in the negatives.

“Any plans on how you’ll spend your winnings?”

“Yes. I plan to take over the world!”

“...”

“…Ah haha, my fault for asking.”

Pinky claps and congratulates Brain on doing so well so far, because he’s a sweetheart like that, and

Brain flicks him back into the pocket. Man, you’re so quietly mean in this first episode, Brain.

Now it’s the final question, from the category “Quotable Quotes”. I remember this kind of category as usually being the easiest on Jeopardy, so it’s kind of surprising that it’s the Final Jeopardy question.

Uh-oh.

Looks like someone forgot that Jeopardy questions aren’t all science, history, and geography-related. Sometimes they’re about pop-culture.

Brain is…not very good with pop-culture. And Pinky’s been banished to the bottom of the coat pocket.

Whoops.

“Umm. Uh, who is, uhh… I, umm. Who is, uhh… Who is…uhh, Pinky…?”

Oh Brain, honey, it’s cute that you got so stumped and flustered that you just blurted out the only name that came to mind (and because Pinky was quoting it earlier, but still!), but it’s also so very, very sad.

Of course that’s incorrect, and Brain is just so monumentally defeated.

“And how much did you wager?”

“Everything…”

HUBRIS!

We then cut to the mice watching Brain’s horrible defeat on TV, and Pinky suggests a few other game shows they could try: Wheel of Misfortune, $10,000 Pile-A-Mud… The latter of which is supposed to be a parody of the old game show Pyramid, which wasn’t around in that format by the time this episode aired, so…good luck with that one, Pinky.

But no, Brain doesn’t plan on going on any more game shows. He instead walks sadly over to their cage to rest for tomorrow night.

It’s then that we are witness to the birth of the other memetic exchange this show is known for:

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!”

That wink, though. It’s the confident wink that sells this and tells us all you need to know about the Brain. No matter how bad his defeat, how humiliated he gets, or how sad he feels about failing, Brain always gets back to business sooner or later. He has determination on his side. And Pinky, of course.

And that was the very first Pinky and the Brain short! A pretty good start for the series, really. Nothing spectacular, and definitely not the worst, just a good start that sets the tone of the series well and establishes several of the running gags the show is known for. The creators pretty much have Brain as a character down right away: serious but not devoid of humour, single-minded, stubborn, egotistical, smart, and determined to meet his goals. There are a few things missing from him that we get later, and he certainly softens a bit by the time the spin-off starts, but they’ve set up a solid foundation to build on so far here. Pinky’s character is a little more nebulous in this episode, though. He’s shown to be generally good-natured, smarter than he first seems, easily distracted but well-meaning, and willing and able to help Brain achieve his goals. Still, he’s missing the much of the overwhelming kindness and his enthusiasm for Brain’s plans and awe at Brain’s intellect that he has as we go further through the series. I mean, there are hints of it here, too, but it’s much more understated compared to later on. Not to mention that Pinky gains a bit of a sassy side to him that somehow still manages to be friendly, like when you gently tease your friends while still caring about them.

I understand that you can’t really squeeze all of that into the first, like, fifteen minutes or so of a series, though.

Also, the animation for this episode wasn’t exactly the best of the series. There are points where Brain looks kinda muppet-y and Pinky is uncharacteristically gaunt and gangly. I mean, Pinky is usually a little gangly but not as hunched over and his nose stretched out so much. It’s not the worst, either, and serves as a decent baseline of how the characters look. Wang Film Production looks to be the animation studio behind this one, and I’d say their style is the most “normal” quality of the ones that get to animate for PatB. They do settle into a better and more consistent style for the show, so I’ll try and be on the look-out for that.

I’m not sure if the other posts I’m going to do on this rewatch will be quite so play-by-play as this one was. Since this is the first, I felt the need to establish in more detail the kind of things that happen in your average episode of PatB and the general rhythm of the show. I’m definitely going to try and include every instance of the ongoing running gags the series has, though.

I feel I should also say that from now on I might have to double or triple the amount of episodes in one post, too. There are some episodes in a long-running series like this where not too much of note happens, I’m sure, and I know at least a few are either silent shorts, cameos in other Animaniacs skits or little music videos and you can only get so much out of those entries.

Yes, music videos. Including a cameo appearance in a Macarena parody. I’ll prepare as best as I can to cringe so hard from secondhand embarrassment that I morph into a pretzel shape.

We’re only getting started, folks. Things are only going to get weirder and more interesting from here on out.

[cyborgpotatoreads]

Books I read in August!

This month was wild because on the 28th, I got a box in the mail with 4 books I didn’t order. 3 of the books were ARCs and 2 of those ARCs were coming out today, September 1st, so I quickly squeezed those two books in at the end!

Favorite book of the month: The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang

In order that I read them:

The Poppy War (The Poppy War #1) by R.F. Kuang

I didn’t think I could be into military-type fantasy, but Rebecca Kuang has changed my damn mind. Wow, I really loved this! I love Rin and am also so, so frustrated with her, but I know that is intentional. I’m gonna pick up The Dragon Republic pretty soon!

I will say this, though, when you look up reviews for this book, they will be very adamant that this book is very dark and lists many, many triggers. I will add on that the book doesn’t really get dark until past the halfway point. Most of the triggering stuff happens in Chapter 21, so keep that in mind!

Wounds: Six Stories from the Border of Hell by Nathan Ballingrud

The Poppy War ended on a note that made me not want to pick up a happy-go-lucky, or heroic fantasy book, so I settled on a horror anthology.

Hmm, I was a little let down by this. When I read horror stories, I like there to be a point or a theme. Like, the dangers of unchecked ambition, the evils of corporations, the fear of the unknown, whatever. Something like that. And these stories just... felt off. They had some gorey moments and some hints of spooky lore, but I just didn’t care about any of the characters or what was happening to them. 

I KNOW I’m picky with my horror, so I’m not surprised that I didn’t love this, but man I wish I knew how to pick horror that fits my weird standards.

Nocturna (A Forgery of Magic #1) by Maya Motayne

I have been putting off this book for no reason other than I don’t want to run out of fantasy books with thief characters, which makes no sense because it’s a common trope and I love it. 

Things I love in fantasy that this book contains: thieves, orphaned thieves with trust issues, royalty that are forced to confront their privileges and leave their bubble, high INT low WIS characters, enemies/rivals/reluctant accomplices to lovers (ish), thieves, thieves with magic

Suffice it to say. I loved this book. Can’t wait for Oculta!

Daughter of a Pirate King (Daughter of a Pirate King #1) by Tricia Levenseller

I do NOT like this cover. I don’t know why, but I don’t. Covers can make or break my interest in a book, but luckily my love for pirates overpowered my dislike of this cover. Man I love pirates! They’re the thieves of the sea, and I love thieves. The main character is so cocky and a brat, but so is the (?)love interest, whom I also love. I can’t wait to pick up the sequel!

The Modern Faerie Tales (Tithe, Valiant and Ironside) by Holly Black

This series was one of my favorites when I was 11. For the longest time, I considered Holly Black my favorite author, because of my love for fairies. At 11, I was madly in love with Roiben, and look, I still have a soft spot in my heart for fae like him. However, rereading as an adult... hmm, well, let’s say that I don’t buy the romances as much anymore. While I loved the fae, I loved the surrounding lore, I just... didn’t really like the relationships, which are a major part of these books. I loved Ironside the most though, so that made up for my lackluster feelings on Tithe and Valiant. Also I love Lutie.

These Witches Don’t Burn (These Witches Don’t Burn #1) by Isabel Sterling

Here’s what I knew about this book going into it. Queer. Witches. That’s it. And that’s about the extent I like to know about books going into them. I loved this book. I love the fraught relationship Hannah has with her ex, I love her friendships, I love her crush, I love her coworkers and I love the mystery! I want to get a regular hardcover of this book so that I can have matching covers for this and the sequel.

The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore

This book took me forever to read because boy, is it a bummer. If you don’t know about the radium dial businesses of the 1920s, or the radium products in general that were prevalent in the early 20th century, check this book out. Know going in that corporations have always been nightmares, and that the United States Radium Corporation didn’t cease radium processing until 1968. If you want to know some more about what radium was used for outside of paint, check out the Sawbones podcast too, and listen to their episode on radium.

The Inheritance Games (The Inheritance Games #1) by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

This is one of the two ARC’s I received 4 days before their release! This book, first off, is just a dream I still hold on to. I hope one day I also inherit BILLIONS from a man I’ve never heard of. This book is filled with riddles and mysteries and... also a love triangle, so know that going in. My favorite character is Xander, who I love from the first page he shows up in, all the way to the very end. This book comes out today, September 1st 2020.

None Shall Sleep by Ellie Marney

I was remarkably less interested in the second ARC that comes out today. I do not enjoy reading mysteries and thrillers from FBI/cop perspectives, because I just find it boring and uninteresting. This does have the twist that it is actually two teenagers temporarily hired by the FBI to interview teenage serial killers, and I did love the mystery and twists of the actual plot, but every time the FBI was involved, it dampened my interest. That’s a personal pet peeve though, and I can see this becoming very popular. This book comes out today, September 1st 2020.

[askyancy]

That ask meme thingys

I dont’s wants to spam the main thing so we’s repostin it  Here’s a link to the original  https://askyancy.tumblr.com/post/188857885461/get-to-know-me-uncomfortably-well

1. What is you middle name? Daniel 2. How old are you? 30 3. When is your birthday? June 28  - 4:15pm 4. What is your zodiac sign? Cancer 5. What is your favorite color? Blood Red 6. What’s your lucky number? 4 7. Do you have any pets? Not anymore. But I’s used to have a cat fer like 15 seconds? Her name was Flancy 8. Where are you from? Ohio! 9. How tall are you? 5′10 10. What shoe size are you? 10 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 7 buts they’s keep em locked away from me 12. What was your last dream about? I hads a nightmare.. ah.. somet’in about escapin and upsettin de guards with someone handsome..or beautiful..or both I dont remembers 13. What talents do you have? I can sing I s’poses!  14. Are you psychic in any way? Psh no 15. Favorite song? I dont wanna be free Popular - Wicked 16. Favorite movie? Robin Hood Men In Tights 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Oh  er I er- I dunno... someone... someone who gets me youse know? 18. Do you want children? I er... n-no.. I mean yeah I do’s but.. I aints a good father 19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’ts think the church woulds want someone like me in der. Nah somewhere on a beach or somet’ins 20. Are you religious? Uhm.. not reallys.. God aint done a lot fer someone like me ya know? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? A few times yeah. Lot o long stories there aheh.. maybe anoder time! 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah course not..... not at aaaaaallls.... not once! Totally not in prison cos I broke any o dem law things...  23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I er.. not reallys?  24. Baths or showers? Shower! I could shower fer hours! aint payin no water bill so why nots! 25. What color socks are you wearing? White ones.. all we gets in here 26. Have you ever been famous? Ey er actually supposedlys I was on the tumblr fandom thingy once! That was nice! 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Me- ah ..nah.. I wouldnt wants all that. Nah.. nice quiet life in prison is fer me! 28. What type of music do you like? Musicals mostly! I er posted  lil mini playlist recently youse might be able to find it! 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Eh.. aheh... I er... yeah... ahaheh... I’ll leave that up to youses for youses imaginations~ 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 16 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Lil spoons! 32. How big is your house? I means it’s pretty big! Prison gotta house a lotta roomies youse know? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Dey serves us dry cereals or oatmeal 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Shotgun,  Franchi SPAS-12  12 gauge. 6 shots in total. 3 fatal shots. 1 miss 35. Have you ever tried archery? Nah I aint goods at no stringy thingys theys get all tangled 36. Favorite clean word? Bourgeoisie  37. Favorite swear word? The U bomb 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 6 days 39. Do you have any scars? Ah, couple on my left hand from a knife, one on my right leg from a bullet and I gots a …few more on my back but ah.. I donts like to talks about those ones. Youse understand. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I knews if I had a secret Admoirer it wouldnts be a secret no mores! 41. Are you a good liar? ah no.. I got a lotta tells 42. Are you a good judge of character? terrible! But ah! I always trys to make amends youse know? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Ah a few, can do my dayds, New Joysey, Bahstan and New Yoyrk 44. Do you have a strong accent? Peoples always be tellin me I do 45. What is your favorite accent? I likes dem scottish types... ah and dat ole southern drawls good a good tingle to its! 46. What is your personality type? .... I er... I dunnos... Nice??? but like... tough guys too? Youse make that call 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My shoeses! Dese is Itallian! 48. Can you curl your tongue? yeth 49. Are you an innie or an outie? I’m an innie! Prison life is where I lives int no outtie life fer me! 50. Left or right handed? I’s actually ambidestrous! 51. Are you scared of spiders? n...no...... why is der one near by? Youse gotta get it! 52. Favorite food? Gumbo. period. 53. Favorite foreign food? Probably one o dose indian curries! 54. Are you a clean or messy person? I likes to keep a clean cell  55. Most used phrased? Youses know? 56. Most used word? Youses 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 5-10 minutes... unless its a show day then I takes like 3 hours. Gotta look poifect  58. Do you have much of an ego? Peoples be tellin’ me lately that I’m an ego nows but I dont gets it. I aint tryna be above anyones else ya know? I’s just out here tryna be me 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I licks them ;P 60. Do you talk to yourself? Me nah... Why’s would I talk to myselfs? Not like I dont gots a whole gang to talks to. Not like I’m locked aways from them right now whiles in Solitary... Not likes I fill the silence in ‘ere with false conversations ....  61. Do you sing to yourself? Always! thoughs there aint much privacy in ‘ere so’s a lot o people get to hear it too 62. Are you a good singer? Peoples tells me so! But I’s still got a lot to works on 63. Biggest Fear? .......... Abandonment  64. Are you a gossip? What? Nah... I woulds never betray someone like that. Only cruel cold hearts sons o bitches do’s that. Oh! Dat reminds me youse should hear what I heard about Shithole Hank the other day. So gets this --- 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Chicago! Best thing! 66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair! Slides better through the fingers! 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Wells I coulds but youse might call it cheatin but here goes https://youtu.be/MSvJ9SN8THE?t=34s 68. Favorite school subject? Theatre o course! 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I er I’m an introvert actually 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Sadlys no... Always wanted to go see one o dem coral reefs wid de fishes! 71. What makes you nervous? ....the...the Ward’n 72. Are you scared of the dark? All dese nooks n crannies deys dayrk down there I gets used to it But afraid o de Dayrk..... de Dayrk scares me... 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if its a common t’ing and theys not notice it on there own! 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but dont go tellin nobodys! 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Me! No! Course not! Startin’ rumors is the lowest o de low... spreadin em dough? I heards this one that Tiny once ate a guards arm.. like..de whole t’ing. I’d honestly say dat wasn’t true but... I mean.. it’s Tiny... Dey’s strong and terrifyin if youse get on their bad side! 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Me nah... I ain’ts authoritive like  77. Have you ever drank underage? No. and I don’ts endorse it eithers 78. Have you ever done drugs? No. We’s very against that at Happy Trails. We’s is about rehabilitation. 79. Who was your first real crush? Ah nice guy in my high school called Illinois buts then..everyone had a crush on him. I wonder how his adventurin craze is doin him 80. How many piercings do you have? Ah just my ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ rr....rrrrrlbllr... RRBLRLBLRRGRLR...... RRRRRRRRRRR there we gos 82. How fast can you type? I dunno’s how fast do I’s respond to youses akses 83. How fast can you run? Only ever got caught once! and dey cheated with bullets 84. What color is your hair? Black and dark as night babye~ 85. What color is your eyes? Brown like the muddy pools of-.... er.... chocolate? 86. What are you allergic to? Rabbits and kidney beans...and hard labor 87. Do you keep a journal? Yeah but dats fer my eyes only capiche!? 88. What do your parents do? Nothin anymore.....  Me Dayd always thoughts he was so good. always mocking me n stuff.. Thought he was all big bein a dental surgeon! And mom! Oh mom was just as bayd. Thinkin she was all better than me! Providin me with cuddles n loves and hugs n stuff tellin me to chase my dreams WELL WHOS DREAMIN NOW MA! Youse aint nursin nobody no mores! 89. Do you like your age? I dont like dat its gettin older 90. What makes you angry? Not a lotta t’ings but if youse be disrespectin mah fam’ly youse is gonna get it! 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I likes it. had it a while now and it suits me youse know? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? ah... Not reallys I means.. thats a joint decision youse know? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? ah... thats up to the kid to decide when they’s ready 94. What are you strengths? I’s a good team member me thinks? 95. What are your weaknesses? I er... I gots a lot o’ flaws... 96. How did you get your name? ah wells it started with the nickname fancy pants and den dey took the first letter of my old name, a dead name i donts use it no mores, and it became Yancy Pants and den got shortened ta just Yancy 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Mine? psh.. nah! youse kiddin? For all I knows my ancestor was a pirate or somet’in 98. Do you have any scars? I gots -wait... I answered dis one already! 99. Color of your bedspread? Dark blue with some nice white sheets! 100. Color of your room? Grey... like every other wall in dis place

[dicecast]

Blast to the Past: What is the Appeal of Fallout

Ok so last time we covered why people are really into the Baldur’s Gate series, which sort of invented most of the CRPG genre (Ultimia is very sad right now).,  Now for the other major Isometric game series, which launched one of the most influential series in Gaming history, I speak of course of Fallout.  

Now I haven’t played Fallout since I was a kid because I remember the interface being extremely frustrating compared to BG (which like...that is saying something) but what people love about Fallout is primarily the story and the roleplaying.  So what makes Fallout 1 so appealing 

1) The post Apocalyptic genre, Fallout and Road Warrior probably define the aesthetic of that genre more than any other, and if that is your jam, then Fallout is for you, it is not just post-apocalyptic but it is deeply interested in the tropes and conventions of that genre.  Now Cards on the Table this is actually a minus for me, I’m more of a fantasy man myself but diversity of genre is good so this likely makes fans of the genre very happy, especially since this game has done more for the genre to anything since Road Warrior 

2) Classless system.  Fallout doesn’t have classes, instead it has a very elaborate system of mechanical perks, stats, traits and skills, each of which can change a lot in how you play the game and express your character.  You have a low more flexibility in building your character than the more rigid focus of Classes+stats+skills of D&D, though personally I prefer Character from Mechanics rather than Mechanical from character.  However you want classless roleplaying, Fallout starts the Computer trend 

3) Social as a real option.   I think today people overestimate this in regards to fallout and seem to imagine that you can talk every enemy down, and that really isn’t the case, but certainly  for the time Fallout was far more evolved in terms of social dynamics than Baldur’s Gate, and a social character is entirely viable.  Critically you can defeat the final boss entirely through dialogue options.  

4) Dialogue options are more like puzzles.   Hbomerguy pointed this out in an earlier critique of Fallout 3 but I think it is worth repeating, in Fallout winning at dialogue options isn’t as simple as just finding the option with “Speechcraft 67″ written next too it.  If you want to defeat The Master, you don’t just need a high Speech, you also need to have found the information necessary to change his mind (specifically that the Super Mutants are sterile), external evidence of said proof, and you also need to carefully pick the dialogue options to do so. Your high Speech and Int only open the door for you to be able to defeat him, you still need to have done your own research, asked other people questions, and brought evidence with you, which makes choosing the right option much more satisfying than just saying “you are wrong and I have 100 Speechcraft) 

5) Variable play experience.  This is true of all RPGS, if I play a male Dwarf Cleric in BG II and a male human wizard I am going to have different interactions but most of fights will be similar.  But if you choose the “Jinxed” Trait at the start of Fallout, which basically dramatically increases everybody’s chance of Critical failure (including your enemies) the entire game is utterly different and a horrific  tragicomedy   of needless violence.  But if you take this combined with 9 or 10 luck, then you will fail less and everybody else will fail more.  It totally changes the nature of the game.  If you choose the Empathy Perk, then bad dialogue options are highlighted in Red so you know not to pick them.  If you choose Mysterious Stranger perk, a Clint Eastwood ripe off will sometimes show up to help you out in combat out of no where and then leave just as quickly.  

6) Negative effects from stats.  If you have a 3 charisma in BG, your party members will fight more, you will get worse rewards for quests, and you will get worse prices, but your dialogue options will largely remain the same.  You won’t get the special bonus dialogue options open to high charisma characters, but you basically have the “default” dialogue options at all times.  If you aren’t a caster, there really isn’t too much of a downside for having a low Int in BG, you are much weaker to mindflayers, as logn as you have some smarties in the party you should be fine.  Not so in Fallout.  If you play a low Int character, you are barely capable of speech so you have unique dialogue options and the game is totally different.  Its objectively worse and kinda sucks but there is a lot of comedy gold in playing an absolute moron.  Later games will pick up on this more, with New Vegas taking the cake with your own brain attempting to quit from you in protest.  

(This is from fallout II but the point is the same)

7) Random Encounters.  In BG, random encounters are all roughly the same, a different type of enemy shows up and attempts to murder you until you murder all of them.  There are a few of those in Fallout but you also have much more inventive random encounters.  just to list a few from the first game 

You can find a wandering singer who will perform for you and increase your charisma by 1

A unique merchant named Duc, who if you kill, you will trigger a random encounter where his men seek revenge.  

A random wounded Peasant which will give you some kind of prophecy 

A Brotherhood of Steel person who will give you some information 

Walk into a fight between two different factions (lots of variants of these) 

Corpses which you can loot

Some travelers who can give you directions or info

And a fucking crashed Alien Spaceship which you can loot 

Seriously far better random encounter design than most RPGs ever

8) Ideological conflict. This doesn't actually make Fallout better than BG, whose overall themes are more mythic than ideological but it makes it different, Fallout is effectively a story about adaptation, about society, technically and what does it mean to relate to the past.  The Vault wants to effectively deny the outside world and pretend WWIII never happened, The Brotherhood of Steel is creating this weird dogmatic elitist technology cult in response to it, the Master wants humanity to evolve to a new species to solve the problem, and what will be the New California Republic wants to recreate the pre War United States.  Different ideologies existing in opposition to each other is a core part of this series and Fallout starts it 

9) The Aethetic.  Fallout has a very unique look and feel which is so iconic that other video games keep ripping it off, and that I have been to multiple fallout themed bars in my life.  This isn’t really evident in the game-play graphics which I think are objectively uglier than BG’s painted backgrounds, but more in the objects, interface, and interactions, like the claymation models you can talk to 

10) Ending slides.  Fallout starts the tradition of having a slideshow at the end that shows exactly how each of your actions changed the world in a different way.   

12) This one doesn’t count because it didn’t really work but Purely turned based combat.  Fallout uses the Action Point system rather than the semi real time/Turn based of BG.  Now....this is more of a hypthoetical benefit because the turned based combat in Fallout doesn’t really work at all, so BG is just objectively better, but if it was polished it could be a radically different way of playing the game.

12) Dogmeat the Dog 

There is a reason why this game is so beloved to this day, it brings a lot of very radical mechanical innovation to the table, even though it is borderline unplayable at times.  

[davetheshady]

🌟 how about chapter 4 of waiting for the bus in the rain 🌟 and only partially because i showed up to yell about the last few paragraphs when it first dropped. also just because i love Julie content and it's the very middle of that fic

::blows dust off inbox:: So! Now that I’ve back from traveling through three countries and recovered from trying to leave most of my arm skin in one of them (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: don’t go so fast you flip over on the Alpine Slide, particularly if you’re in the actual Alps) here’s some DVD commentary on Chapter 4 of Waiting for the Bus in the Rain! It’s chock full of my stylistic hallmarks, i.e. way longer than I expected.

(Note to my sister: THIS IS FULL OF SPOILERS. GO READ MY STORY FIRST YOU LOSER)

There’s a Sheriff’s Secret Police officer outside Julie’s window. Considering she’s in her office on the second floor, this is fairly impressive. But when they scream and scrabble against the glass after accidentally kicking over their ladder for the third time, Julie’s had enough.

Even when they’re not under suspicion of using the scientific method, Julie has to deal with WAY more (attempted) surveillance than Carlos ever does. This is partially because she doesn’t have amazing hair, but also because Cecil doesn’t narrate large chunks of her life over the radio that the SSP can copy down and submit as a report.

vulnerabilities include fire and cold iron

and according to the literature high velocity cheese wedges but i’ve never seen anyone test that

My hand to God. Probably my number one complaint about fantasy as a genre is that everyone takes stuff from Celtic mythology so seriously when half of it is just. Completely bonkers.

Originally, most of the relevant exposition about fairies was provided by a different character entirely: Carlos-f’s misplaced smartphone, an AI who Julie called Hex (yes, like in Discworld, hell yeah science wizards) because she refused to give Julie her name. Hex provided such ringtones as “Dark Horse” and “Double Rainbow” and would occasionally get distracted by lists of numbers. Hmm… 

I changed it back because 1) it was a detour and this chapter was long enough already, 2) Julie and Carlos’ friendship is one of the main throughlines and having them talk to each other was better for the story, and 3) him texting during the middle of a battle is hilarious. But as far as I’m concerned, Hex is still canon. 

Andre yawns on the other end of the line and asks, “What time is it?”

“Quit whining, it’s only—” Julie looks at the clock.

Shit.

“—3:00 AM,” she finishes defiantly, because she still has her pride. Embarrassment pricks at her like flying embers settling on bare skin, because now Andre knows she was so out of it she didn’t even bother to try keeping track of the time, and he’s going to think she couldn’t sleep because of feelings, which is both correct and incorrect, because she wasn’t even trying to sleep since distracting herself by going over the minutiae of their data while the Sheriff’s Secret Police scream and fall in the bushes is better than listening to her cats prowl around while lying in her quiet apartment by herself, and any moment now he’s going to feel bad and decide to humor her and answer her in a voice filled with cloying pity and say—

“Would Hiram McDaniels count as one respondent, or five?” He yawns again.

A good chunk of Julie’s inner turmoil just, like, boils down to a recurring loop of that Tim Kreider quote about “If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.” She doesn’t consciously WANT the rewards of being loved, it just kind of… happens… and then she’s stuck with incredibly loyal life-long friends… and now she not only has to deal with her own feelings but theirs too, which is pretty much her worst nightmare… 

Fortunately, since she’s already gone through the mortifying ordeal of being known, they do frequently pull through and offer the kind of support she knows how to accept. 

“Give TV’s Frank a kiss for me.”

“I’m not kissing my cat for you,” says Julie.

I mean, she’ll kiss the cat. Just not on request. 

And yes, all her cats are named after the Mad Scientists’ sidekicks on Mystery Science Theater 3000. ~foreshadowing~

When she opens the door of her workshop later that morning, she finds that someone has been by to leave her a breakfast tray. Well, “tray”, in that it’s a textbook, and “breakfast”, in that it’s a French press, a stale churro, and her blood pressure medication. But the French press is completely full with still-warm coffee, so overall she’s going to count this as a win.

This appeared pretty early in my drafts: it’s just such a funny mental image to me and also encapsulates Julie and Gary’s relationship pretty well, i.e. a string of question marks who somehow get along.

The naturally suspicious part of her wonders if he deliberately provoked her reaction to the flamingo to gather more information about it. The naturally analytical part of her points out that Carlos is more likely to gnaw off his own hand than put someone in danger, especially when he could just put himself in danger instead.

Julie is just a tad cynical, so she’d definitely think of potentially negative interpretations of her friend’s actions. But it’s not actually a possibility she dwells on in any real sense, and every time she interacts with Carlos-f (not to mention Carlos-0) she trusts him implicitly. She wouldn’t admit it in a thousand years, but she considers Carlos one of the few genuinely good people in the world: not because he never makes mistakes or creates personal disasters, but exactly because of those things. She knows he’s a flawed person, and that everyone is flawed, so that makes him genuine – which means every time he’s tried to do the right thing at personal cost, over and over, that was genuine too.

Basically, there’s a reason why in the last chapter she automatically references “scientist means hero” with “Fuck, I’m turning into you!”

“So,” she says. “Nilanjana. Do you need new pronouns, or anything?”

“Does anyone need any pronouns?” asks Gary contemplatively, which Julie takes as a ‘No’.

“Should I drop ‘Gary’ entirely? Do you want me to change your name in our paperwork?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “I don't know, man,” he concludes. “I don’t really believe in labels.”

Gary has galaxy-brained from “gender is a social construct” straight to “identity is a social construct” and beyond. 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asks Julie.

“I think so, Dr. K,” says Gary. “But how will we get three pink flamingos into one pair of capri pants?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-xrnIXQ3iQ

What happens when the wave function ψ is the same as the physical system it describes, and what happens when that physical system collapses?

i.e. what would happen if common misperceptions of the Observer Effect were actually the correct perceptions?

Julie can’t help it: she snorts. “Passionate? Me?”“Well, yeah,” says Romero. “You really care about the things that interest you. You get really involved and angry and never quit or back down.”“Oh,” says Julie, then blurts, “You like that I’m angry?”“I… don’t like it when you’re unhappy?” says Romero. “But – it’s part of you, so… yeah, I guess I do, because it’s how you are. Why? Is – is everything okay?”She’s spent a lifetime having people tell her to stop being angry. No one’s ever told her she’s fine the way she is.

There have been many, many, MANY thinkpieces about how women are socialized not to express anger, often even to themselves. That was never going to work for Julie, who after all is powered by constant low-level rage, but that just means she had to deal with the backlash from not adhering to social programming instead (on top of additional backlash from being a woman in a male-dominated field). Of his own free will, Romero not only rejects that social programming, but also clearly spent time thinking about her empirically to determine that her anger is a positive force instead of a random and horrible personality trait.

He’s a Good Dude.

When she was in elementary school, her third grade teacher had been fond of saying, “If you’re bored, it means you have no imagination,” at least until Julie had decided to deal with her boredom after finishing her science assignment, her homework, and the rest of the textbook by seeing what happened if you jammed a paperclip into the electric socket. (The answer was certainly not boring and, in fact, probably the most exciting and practical thing they learned that year.)

That used to be my aunt’s favorite saying. I personally did not copy Julie’s response, but it is based on research done by one of my friends. (It’s okay, he was very careful about safety and made sure to use rubber-handled scissors to poke random bits of metal into the outlet. Apart from a classmate’s socks catching on fire, everyone was totally fine.)

She wakes to the sound of Cecil talking about the other week’s marathon, which may or may not have been mandatory, whoops. Carlos has texted her an emoji of various hadrosaurids gathered around a campfire singing “We Are the Champions”.

PREVIOUSLY IN NIGHT VALE:

EXT. - THE LABS

Thousands of citizens stream down Main Street, driven relentlessly forward to the Narrow Place. The Harbingers of the Distant Prince hurl themselves towards the building again and again, only to be rebuffed by the wards. Charred corpses lay scattered around the perimeter. Green storm clouds gather overhead as their anger grows. 

INT. - LAB ONE

ANDRE

Did you hear something?

JULIE

[not looking up from her welding]

No.

 Carlos, meanwhile, has NO idea his emojis are not in fact standard. 

“I liked him,” says Josie. [...] “He was trying to do… something, I forget what. I hope he figured it out.” At Julie’s incredulity, she says, “Some people, they’re rough around the edges, but they try. They hope for something better and keep going. That’s important.”

“What if you go where you’re not supposed to?”

“Then you come back and fix what you can,” says Josie.

“What if you can’t?”

“Then you find someone to help you,” Josie replies. “Oh! I love this song.”

She turns up the volume of the radio and treats everyone to the aria from Shastakovich’s Paint Your Wagon.

Vocals by L. Marvin

Angels chilling at your house are, of course, part of the standard retirement package for former Knights of the Church. Old Woman Josie used to carry Esperacchius and passed it on to the Egyptian, after which it went to Sanya. She and Shiro were buds and saw Elvis in Vegas (and also, interestingly, several times in the Ralphs).

Anyway, if you want to suggest that a character is subconsciously mulling over an issue, I recommend having them ask some leading questions without describing their reactions and then change the subject.

“It’s come to my attention,” she begins, then has to stop and clear her throat again. “It’s come to my attention that we have a pretty good thing going on. So I was just wondering if you’d like to keep doing this, you know. For the indefinite future. With me.”When he doesn’t say anything, or look at her, or move at all for that matter, she removes her hand from under her thigh where she’s been sitting on it and points at the lease. “I highlighted where you have to sign,” she says, somewhat unnecessarily. “If you wanted to.”

I think this is the only time we see Julie nervous about anything when her life is not actively in danger.

You can’t write a romance arc without including some degree of emotional vulnerability – it just wouldn’t be satisfying. On the other hand, how that emotional vulnerability manifests is REALLY dependent on the person, and if you don’t base it firmly in their character it wouldn’t be satisfying, either. (I’m REALLY picky about romances in part because of this.) Julie’s not the type to pine or swoon or be filled with self-doubt*, but she is bad at feelings, and unfortunately, she’s determined that an equitable relationship with Romero requires some kind of tangible, committed expression of them. So she does that as best she can. It’s not actively harmful to her, but it does require a stretch out of her comfort zone. 

* ::cough::Carlos::cough::

Yes, Julie has technically registered their equipment with City Hall, in that they’re listed as alternatively “electronic abaci” and “databases” and she’s claimed they only use the internet for checking email. Until now, they’ve coasted on general good will towards Carlos/his hair and the fact that all authority figures have been functionally electronically illiterate since the Incident in the community college’s Computer and Fire Sciences building.

Look, I could have SWORN there was an Incident at the Computer and Fire Sciences building specifically mentioned in canon. Can I find it anywhere? No. Did I listen to an episode that was subsequently erased from history? Possibly.

This time, someone picks up. There are a few seconds of sleepy fumbling, followed by “Hello?” in more vocal fry than voice.“Cecil!” she says. “Is Carlos there?”“Are you in fear for your life from the long arm of the law?” Cecil mumbles.

her current ringtone

“Julie, I said hold on!”“I am holding on,” she snarls as the rumbling stops. “It’s a diagnostic. 75% efficiency? Am I the only one who cares about proper maintenance in this town?”

This combines two of my favorite things: people focusing on hilariously inconsequential details during a stressful situation, and Julie lowkey engaging in supervillainy. Nikola Tesla did not design earthquake machines so Night Vale could install shitty ones they can barely use. STANDARDS.

“I probably wouldn’t have destroyed Weeping Miner,” she says eventually.

“I know,” says Carlos.

“I could have, though,” she says.

“I know that too,” says Carlos.

[...] Carlos shifts. She looks over; he briefly catches her eye and says, “So could I.”It’s not the same. Carlos would probably feel bad about it, for one. But she feels some of her anger dissipate anyway. At least she’s not the only one dealing with this bullshit.

Subconscious concern --> conscious concern! Getting back to Julie’s cynicism: she doesn’t think there are very many good people in the world, and that excludes her too. Sure, she’s risked her life to save others, fight baddies, and make sure the dangerous technology she’s developed doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, but she knows she has selfish reasons to do them, like protecting her friends and making sure the town/world isn’t destroyed so she can keep doing her research.

But at the same time, the fact that she has been dwelling on the ethics of her situation ever since Chapter 19 of Love is All You Need, that she is genuinely bothered that she’d consider destroying a neighborhood, and that she’s talking about this with Carlos, who considers them to have a similar dilemma, suggests that deep down she is dissatisfied by her cynical model of the world because the data isn’t quite matching up. Which, of course, means she needs more data in the form of Chapters 6 and 7.

On one side is a large picture of Carrie Fisher giving everyone the finger

I think Space Mom is mandatory at protests now. 

This whole section (especially the rain) was heavily influenced by the March for Science, which both Ginipig and I went to in 2017. You too can make a difference and also give yourself writing material!

“Any more words of wisdom, Usidork?” she asks instead.

USIDORE, WIZARD OF THE 12TH REALM OF EPHYSIYIES, MASTER OF LIGHT AND SHADOW, MANIPULATOR OF MAGICAL DELIGHTS, DEVOURER OF CHAOS, CHAMPION OF THE GREAT HALLS OF TERR'AKKAS. THE ELVES KNOW HIM AS FI’ANG YALOK. THE DWARFS KNOW HIM AS ZOENEN HOOGSTANDJES*. HE IS ALSO KNOWN IN THE NORTHEAST AS GAISMUNĒNAS MEISTAR AND HAS MANY OTHER SECRET NAMES WHICH YOU DO NOT… YET… KNOW.

* Hoobastank

He blinks at her in polite incomprehension. “I don’t want to miss the Life Raft Debate,” he says. “It’s important to support your department.”

Several universities hold yearly Raft Debates, where representatives from the different disciplines have a debate about which of their respective areas of study is the most vital for humanity and thus should get to take the one-person life raft back to civilization from the desert island they’ve all gotten stuck on.

I should inform you that at my alma mater the Devil’s Advocate, who argues that none of the subjects are worth saving, has won multiple times.

Without taking her eyes off her opponent, Romanoff thrusts out her hand. Dr. Aluki Robinson (Associate Professor of Ornithology) passes her a harpoon, its ivory barbs almost glowing in the dim light.

Nauja and Aluki are both from Cold Case, because no one deserves to be stuck in Cold Case where we’re apparently supposed to be deeply concerned about the main character’s sexual experience but only vaguely perturbed by the powerful white and white-coded women stealing Native American children to brainwash them to their culture so they can be fed to the system seriously WHAT the FUCK Jimbo

ANYWAY, in this universe the Winter fey of Unalaska are discharging their obligations to help the Winter Court against Outsiders by sending some of their people to monitor the prison in Night Vale. This also gets to highlight the fun of an unreliable narrator! Julie is generally not one of those, because she’s a smart and observant person who will happily question everything, but even she has her limits when she’s out of her element. In the case of this story, there are several minor details to suggest there is some Winter and Summer court drama going on in the background (the chlorofiends, an entire academic department of shapeshifters, Molly and Mab personally overseeing bus routes) and most of it just goes completely over her head.

During his undergraduate career, Gary had elicited a considerable amount of interdepartmental discussion about his desire to be exempted from lab regulations for wearing appropriate – or any – footwear in the lab, which evolved into a considerable amount of interdepartmental discussion about whether wrapping your feet in duct tape immediately before said lab time constituted appropriate footwear.

This was based on one of my mother’s students, who eventually resolved the situation by commissioning a handmade pair of moccasins he placed on his feet immediately before entering the lab.

“The scientific method is four steps,” says Carlos with a cheerful inevitability as the officers start shouting panicked instructions into their walkie talkies. “One, find an object you want to know more about; two, hook that object up to a machine using wires or tubes; three, write things on a clipboard; four, read the results that the machine prints.”

This is a direct quote from the book. Was this entire subplot about the scientific method ban designed just to come up with a plausible retcon for why someone with actual scientific training would announce this over the radio? It sure was!

THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD:

1. “Step one, cut a hole in the box,” calls Wei.2. “No, step one is collecting underpants,” says Gary.3. “Step four: make a searching and fearless moral inventory,” says Julie.4. “And then step five, acceptance,” Andre finishes.5. “You see, the first level is ennui, or boredom. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody or something specific – nostalgia, love-sickness… At more morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for. A sick pining, a vague restlessness. Mental throes. Yearning. And at the scientific method’s deepest and most painful level, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause.”6. “It’s how you decide whether to fix the problem with duct tape or WD-40,” says Julie.7. “I think,” says Osborn, “that it’s a divine machine for making flour, salt, and gold.”

8. “Don’t be absurd,” says Galleti. “The scientific method is two vast and trunkless legs of stone standing in the desert!”

9. “And they say the scientific method is—”

“—the quality of cosiness and comfortable conviviality associated with sitting around a fire in the winter with close friends,” puts in Dr. Chelsea Dubinski, Assistant Professor of Chemistry.

10. “Or is it the special look shared between two people, when both are wishing that the other would do something that they both want, but neither want to do?” asks Galleti.

This section was also a chance to write about the rest of Night Vale’s scientists, of whom we still know so very little. There’s enough of them that there’s a whole science district, and the community college seems pretty well staffed, but the fact that Carlos made such an impact when he rolled into town suggests that they were either pretty lowkey or indistinguishably weird from the rest of the town.

“I don't feel alone,” snaps Julie. “I feel like shit, and I know why I feel like shit, and the thought of outlining that in excruciating detail is, oddly enough, not making me feel any better!”

One of the things I wanted to address in this story (inspired by Ghost Stories, which I uhhhhh did not care for) was the shortcomings of a lot of narratives about grief. Because many of them are not only oversimplified, but also not everyone processes grief in the same way. It’s not necessarily a linear narrative of where you go through the five steps and then you’re totally over it: it might take a long time, or you might be fine until some other, unrelated setback triggers you, or it might be a cyclical process as anniversaries roll around. Grief lingers. Related to that, helping people deal with their grief isn’t always as simple as sitting down with them and offering a sympathetic ear. Some people don’t process their feelings well verbally, and the emotional labor of formulating all your grief for another person’s consumption can be nearly as traumatizing as grieving in the first place, and VERY difficult to do when you’re already feeling down.

On top of that, I think general American culture is just. Real bad at dealing with grief. Which means we don’t have many positive models to base our responses on, either as grievers or as people supporting the grieving, and if you don’t fit those models at all it just makes the process that more difficult because everyone’s stumbling around in the dark.  

“Does it always feel like this?” she asks.“Which part?” asks Carlos.“We won,” says Julie. “Methods have lived to science another day. We can do our work without interference. All we did was lie about what the name meant, but…” She taps the lab table with a pencil. Another secret violation of the law. “It still feels like we… lost something.”“We did lose something,” says Carlos. “It was just a name, but names are important.”

One of the reasons I love writing Carlos and Julie’s friendship so much is because it’s such a relationship of equals. They’re both hypercompetent, pragmatic, and a little ruthless; their skill sets don’t have much overlap (at least, not yet) and their personalities aren’t at all similar, but they get each other and it’s so sweet. When they wander out of their respective areas of expertise, or stumble across some kind of dilemma, they feel comfortable asking each other for guidance – they can admit their ignorance and drop their public facades of Having Their Shit Together because they trust each other. 

“I want—” Her mouth opens and shuts again, wordlessly. Her scowl deepens.Then she narrows her eyes and says, “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.”

Molly being a huge Trekkie is pretty much my favorite thing from Ghost Story (not to be confused with Ghost Stories)(although thinking about it, swapping their plots would be kind of amazing??), so of course I wanted her and Julie to interact in a way that showed off what huge nerds they are.

But yet another element I wanted to include in this story is the background detail that ~the masquerade~ must be maintained because it’s too dangerous for humanity as a whole to be fully cognizant of the supernatural – which tends to get a little lost in the sauce, because the supernatural is consistently super duper powerful and our heroes (most of them pretty supernatural themselves) generally avert disaster by the skin of their teeth. But here’s Julie, just a regular human who’s capable of producing terrifying technology, has no concern for the rules and traditions of ancient regimes unless they’re inconveniencing her, and who would be perfectly fine with upending the status quo just to see what happens. Regular humans just aren’t more flexible about change than the supernatural, they’re even curious about it sometimes – which must be terrifying to something like the Winter Court, which has been devoted to maintaining the same strict balance since forever. Regular humans can do stuff like tell a story so well it inspires the Winter Lady to subvert her magical restrictions and remind her of her own humanity.

Julie grumpily emails him a rough summary of her thoughts on Troy Walsh and her conversation with Molly and heads up to her office to pull up everything she has on both the bus garage and the man in the tan jacket.

Bullshit secretkeeping (“I can’t tell the other main character this important plot point, it’s better if they don’t know”) is one of my least favorite tropes and I avoid it at all costs. It’s such a stupid way to add tension. It can maybe work once, but after your character has inevitably watched it backfire spectacularly, you can’t repeat it ever again unless you want to imply they’re a dumbass who never learns from their own mistakes and apparently doesn’t care that it clearly puts everyone in more danger. ::looks pointedly at a certain book series::

Also, it’s almost always much more interesting to have characters try to share important information. If they don’t succeed, it coats everything in ironic horror as the outcomes one person tried to avoid happen despite their best efforts. If they do succeed, it means everyone is fully cognizant of the potential danger even as they are still prevented from acting on it properly, like because they (e.g.) get kidnapped in the middle of the street. 

King City is not in the correct dimension. The man in the tan jacket seems to know something about this, but up until a year ago he wasn’t drawing attention to it. He was busy poking his nose into everyone’s business, ingratiating himself with the powerful and the influential, dealing with them in secret…basically, the SOP of your typical Night Vale authority.Like the Night Vale Area Transit Authority, with its bus route to… King City.They had a job and they chose to keep it, Molly said.“Fuck,” says Julie. “He was working for them!”

In retrospect, it’s hilarious to me how much of this fic was powered by spite. Ghost Stories and Cold Case both really bothered me. The resolution of the Man in the Tan Jacket storyline, meanwhile, felt pretty underwhelming – not because what Finknor came up with wasn’t interesting, but because it barely engaged with the few plot points they had already established. Like, when TMITJ shows up in the podcast he interferes with the Mayor, he’s connected to the city under Lane Five, he surfaces during the Strex Corp arc, he interacts with a whole bunch of series regulars in an ominous fashion… Yeah, that probably came from Finknor dropping him in more or less at random, but the end result was that during the first several years of the show it seemed he was an active driver of whatever his plot was supposed to be. In WTNV: The Novel, though, he’s much more reactive and impotent. This wouldn’t necessarily be bad if this change was acknowledged as part of his storyline, but… it’s not… 

(And I get that it can be difficult to come up with a plot for an element you didn’t intend to be plotty at all, but like: there wasn’t THAT much material they had to account for. I should know, I had to look it all up to write THIS story.)

I think this was especially frustrating because it ends up feeling like a “have your cake and eat it too” on the part of Finknor: it’s not automatically bad when fans care more about the show’s continuity than the creators (creators have different concerns, and a lot of time that means they’re using the creative latitude to do something neat), but the novel was very much presented as “finally, a resolution to that one mystery you find cool!” which is… pretty much a direct appeal to the fans’ care about the continuity. So to then ignore or retcon so many aspects of the continuity without any story payoff for it feels like a cheat. 

(Ultimately, though, my inspiration to actually sit down and write mainly sprang from 1) all the lovely comments about how so many people loved my OFC, which as someone who started lurking in online fandom in the early 2000s was both mind-boggling and heartwarming, and 2) lol those ladies have the same name. I learned nothing.)

She gets the call at 21:27. She goes to the hospital, although there’s not much point. The human mind is the most powerful thing on the planet and it's housed in a fragile casing of meat and bone.

I’ve mentioned a few times (possibly more than a few)(probably more than a few) that I didn’t like the WTNV live ep Ghost Stories, and that’s because the ~big reveal~ is that Cecil’s story was actually about a personal family tragedy, and once he’s able to admit that, everything is hunky-dory. As I recall, it went something like this:

WTNV: hey remember that time your mom died and your family was thrown into chaos

ME: WELL NOW I DO

WTNV: and on that note, good night everyone!

Needless to say, everything was not hunky-dory. 

But on top of being emotionally compromised for the whole following week, I was also professionally annoyed. Prior to this live show, we’d had a few cryptic references to Cecil’s mom and could reasonably infer that his relationship with his sister was strained. Critically, though, neither was their own clearly-defined character (compare to the treatment of Janice or Steve Carlsberg), these were not frequently recurring elements that would suggest they weighed heavily on Cecil’s mind, and it wasn’t even obvious that their backstory WAS particularly tragic. So the emotional lynchpin of this live show was mostly new information about Cecil regarding characters the audience had no connection to.

Tragic narratives are powerful not only because they evoke intense emotions, but also because those emotions are supposed to go somewhere and do something: provide catharsis, reinforce the artist’s philosophy, make the audience ponder the meaning of life... In using a tragedy as a plot twist, your ability to give it the proper emotional arc is very limited, because you have to misdirect from its existence while building it up, and then quickly progress from upsetting emotions to those more appropriate for concluding the story. That’s not impossible, but Ghost Stories immediately throws a wrench in the works by splitting the audience’s emotional journey away from Cecil’s: he already knew about the tragedy and the people involved with it, so the plot twist acts as his emotional catharsis... but only his. When the twist itself is the first time the audience realizes there ARE emotions, and that the first 85% of the show was completely unrelated to them, there’s simply not enough time for the audience to have them, process them according to the story’s weird ramblings that kinda imply fiction based on real life is more important than genre fiction like horror (PS: that’s a WEIRD take for a fictional horror podcast), and reach their own kind of catharsis without it being horrifically rushed. Particularly when they’re having a WAY more emotional response than the character due to their own personal tragedies which they were not expecting to have to think about during a fun podcast live show about ghost stories.

As stuff like this points out, you can’t just sprinkle in character deaths and expect quality entertainment to sprout: there has to be a purpose to putting the tragedy in the story (even if that purpose is to highlight how purposeless tragedy can be in real life). I’ve always been VERY critical of the assumption that tragedy is ~more artistic~, both in historical lit and modern pop culture; sad emotions aren’t inherently more meaningful than happy ones. Merely including tragic events isn’t deep; you have to do the work and make it deep, in its context and development.

So: on to ::gestures proudly:: probably the worst thing I’ve ever written!

From an aesthetic standpoint, I leaned into the Night Vale house style in this section because I found it to be really effective at conveying the enormity of the tragedy for Julie: it’s pretty blunt, just like her, but the focus on oddly specific details, the narrative distancing, and the lurking sense of existential horror seemed a fitting demonstration of how badly the emotional gutpunch disrupted her narration/life. 

And I really wanted it to be an emotional gutpunch. (But not a surprise: even if I hadn’t warned for it specifically, Julie mentions Romero dying all the way back in Ch. 10 of Love is All You Need.) This is in part a story about grief and mourning, so the loss that caused it needed a central place. I wanted it to be powerful enough to retroactively fit in with how upset Julie is in the opening chapters and to add real tension to the devil’s bargain the feds want to make with her in the next chapter. But most importantly, I wanted it to be so significant to both Julie and the audience that the end of the story has an impact. Loss doesn��t get “cured” – but it seems to me like it’s not supposed to be. Loss is a part of life; love, in whatever form, helps give you strength as you grow and change from the experience into someone new, and this is also a story about the love in friendship.

I think a lot about the ethics of writing tragic stuff, because when you get right down to it, ultimately art boils down to poking your fingers in someone’s feelings and stirring them around. People get really invested in the stuff you are responsible for creating, and making someone feel bad for no reason isn’t being an artist, it’s being a dick. But I’m very happy with how this turned out, and hopefully didn’t traumatize anyone who didn’t want to be traumatized.

(I do feel bad for everyone who was reading as I posted that had to wait an entire year for the next chapter, though. I wanted to get something up sooner, but I had to wait until I sorted Chapter 6 and Chapter 6 was just. The worst. WORDS ARE HARD. People who read WIPs are braver than any Marine.)

hmu for more dvd commentary!

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

Have you played D&D? If so do you have any funny stories?

OH BOY DO I

i’m both a player and a DM, so you can imagine the kind of shenanigans that happened :°> 

-

like that one time i was playing a cleric in @cindersalad‘s session, and she’s pretty much the top dog of her convent. the group was resting up there before leaving for the next adventure, and some characters (my second one included) decided it would’ve been a fun idea, in the middle of the night, to climb the belltower and make a messfor no reason at all, they just wanted to make a funny prank on the churchladies.it resulted in my cleric girl forcing them to kneel on chickpeas as punishment and ignore them the next day, in which she allowed most people in the team to have a free train ride due her position while the remaining three had to pay

in the same group we also have this big cool ice dragonborn lady and a water elf (his name is bob and i love him) who keep on bickering about everything and calling eachother lizard and fish, and said dragonborn, being always cool and strong and aggressive, act like a puppy as soon as she saw snow - or again the team asking for some sparkling water in a tavern, discovering nobody knows what that is and therefore somehow ending up inventing it!

-

in another group that didnt have the best DM but in which we played in, what... seven? eight? it was a big big team - we had the local ranger turning into a dog to catch the bad guy’s scent, and as soon as he went to explain the team he was reminded he was, in fact, still a dog. so he couldn’t talkand thus the other ranger of the group was like “TIME TO USE MY ANIMAL HANDLING PROFICIENCIES” and they spent the next hour with a guy going “BARK BARK BARK” and the other badly translating whatever he was saying - all of which concluded in finding a big monster who preferred to kill and eat humansand, of course, my baby boy was the only human in a group. he got made fun of to hell and back because everyone’s a JERK >:C but also he was the one who gave the very last hit to the beast with a nat 20 so who’s the puny lil human NOW?!

- 

and, of course... my sessions.oh my lord my sessions. in my discord group, the funniest memory was when they finally reached the big city, and i started explaining there was a certain shop for every need, in case they wanted to buy and sell something. in an armor shop you can buy and sell only armors, in the magic shop you can buy and sell only magic stuff, etc. it was simpletoo bad one of them had, in fact, an hammer. a tiny normal hammer, the one y’all use to put nails on the wall. simple stuff i consider a normal item, so of course when @genuinely-satan decided to sell it i was like “ok, sell it to the item shop”, but nono no no, half of the group wanted to prove a point, and wanted to sell it to the weapon shop for they thought it, in fact, counted as weapon. they spent so much fucking time asking literally every single NPC if a normal goddamn hammer was a weapon or an item.

- 

and, of course... my current IRL session, again with me DMing and @cindersalad and another friend playing. it’s set in a military academy, and for the lesson the teacher wanted them to try and understand the difference between something that was hit the light magic and a normal lightbulbsilv’s character, tomyn, rolls really low and doesn’t understand it (which is also IC, since he’s more akin to your usual tank with big strenght and low int), while the other rolls very high. cue misunderstatement, and from now on it’s apparently a recurring joke that tomyn never saw a lightbulb before

he’s going to lose it one of these days, i already know it. one of the bosses is gonna die because of this.

[syncogon]

[QZGS Prequel TL] Ch 10: Dynasty and Youth

(info post and links for the QZGS Prequel, Top Glory / 巅峰荣耀)

summary: As Excellent Era and Hundred Blossoms face off in the Season 3 finals, the Golden Generation, as they will later be remembered, prepares to take the stage.

characters: Sun Zheping, Zhang Jiale, Wang Jiexi, Fang Shiqian, Ye Xiu, Wu Xuefeng, Yu Wenzhou, Huang Shaotian, Zhang Xinjie, Xiao Shiqin

wordcount: 3.8k

Here we are, the final chapter of the prequel. As always, if you enjoy, please leave thoughts, comments, analysis, etc, I love to see it.

Translated by: Syncogon

We won!

The team entering the finals is us!

Amidst the deafening cheers from the crowd, the Hundred Blossoms players at the side rushed onto the stage, surrounding the two core players of their team.

In the battle that had just ended, they were the victors.

The ones who had earned victory in the second round of playoffs was also them.

Team Hundred Blossoms, the black horse of last season, now with a more mature and reliable attitude, had charged through two rounds of this year's playoffs and slaughtered their way into the finals. Their hands had already lightly brushed against that proof of highest glory, the championship trophy.

Excitement, elation.

But this wasn't the end yet; things weren't finished yet.

With the lesson they'd learned from last season's failure, Hundred Blossoms' excitement and celebration was fairly short-lived. It wasn't long before the cluster of people onstage had already calmed down.

On the other side of the stage, the Tiny Herb players who had just lost this round were also walking out of their competitor booths.

Wang Jiexi, Fang Shiqian. Tiny Herb was another team that had relied on its young players to take on responsibility. They had given everyone the biggest surprise this season, with the name "Magician" dominating headlines.

But ultimately, they hadn't managed to walk to the end.

Shake hands, exchange respects.

The young captain on the losing side was merely silent; he didn't display much outward dejection. Their vice-captain Fang Shiqian, however, was utterly gloomy – he didn't even come over to greet the opposing team, as was the custom after a match.

"Keep working hard next season," said Hundred Blossoms Captain Sun Zheping, in a genuine tone, to Wang Jiexi. He didn't pay Fang Shiqian's disrespect too much mind. As someone who had tasted before the bitter sting of this kind of defeat, he very much understood the mood of the side that had lost.

"Thank you," said Wang Jiexi, nodding.

The two teams went their separate ways. Hundred Blossoms lingered in the stadium, waiting for the conclusion of the other playoffs match of this round to see who would become their opponent in the finals. And Tiny Herb, as the eliminated losers, could only pack up their things and leave in low spirits.

The Tiny Herb players walked silently through the long player passageway. For a long time, no one spoke. It wasn't until they arrived back at their prep room that someone finally broke the silence.

"Hey!" Fang Shiqian opened his mouth, his gaze falling squarely upon Wang Jiexi, who had just sat down to rest.

The players all felt their hearts jump, and they turned to look at them.

"As the captain, shouldn't you say something right now?" Fang Shiqian said.

Everyone couldn't help but tense. From the very beginning, they could tell Fang Shiqian had certain emotions toward Wang Jiexi inheriting Vaccaria and the captaincy. Wang Jiexi had performed so exceptionally this season that there really wasn't much to criticize. Yet even so, Fang Shiqian had still found areas to nitpick. And now, their most important match of the season had just ended in defeat. Was Fang Shiqian about to completely blow up?

Their defeat this round could be analyzed from various angles. It wasn't the fault of any one person's mistake or anything like that. Wasn't it too irrational to use this as a reason to go off?

Everyone couldn't help but feel that that this was unfair. Wang Jiexi's performance this season had won over everyone. Never mind the fact that he hadn't messed up this match, even if he had, they would all forgive him – who didn't make mistakes? If Fang Shiqian wanted to nitpick this loss as well, the rest of them wouldn't stand for it.

Looking at the two of them, Tiny Herb's members had already decided their position. If there was going to be a conflict between these two core players, they were going to support Wang Jiexi.

But to their surprise, Fang Shiqian, without waiting for Wang Jiexi to say anything, was already continuing to speak.

"Forget it." He waved his hand. "I forgive you this time."

Forgive?

What's with that condescending tone? Fang Shiqian, you're really going too far!

A few of them refused to accept that and had already opened their mouths, but once again, the quick-speaking Fang Shiqian beat them to it.

"But next season, or next next season, next next next season – no matter what, you have to lead Tiny Herb to win a championship!" Fang Shiqian said fiercely.

Everyone was stunned. And then, they began to laugh.

Next season? Next next season? Next next next season? He had this kind of patience and belief in Wang Jiexi. Clearly, this Fang Shiqian already very much acknowledged him.

"I'll do it as quickly as possible," Wang Jiexi laughed.

"Not 'as quickly as possible,' it's 'for sure,'" Fang Shiqian said, very seriously.

"For sure," Wang Jiexi replied, also adopting a serious expression.

"Alright. Next season, we'll be back!" Fang Shiqian raised his arm and shouted.

"We'll be back!" Everyone waved their arms, and the originally heavy atmosphere was instantly broken by this uplifting energy. But soon, they heard shouts and cheers echoing down through the long passageway, drowning out their excited voices.

"Have the results of the other match come out?" someone asked.

"This stupid TV! How come it doesn't have signal again!" Someone slapped the television that was in the prep room, but the screen was filled with static, and not half an image could be shown.

"Want to go out and take a look?"

"Let's go."

Tiny Herb's players left their prep room. As they had guessed, the curtain had fallen on the match between Excellent Era and Tyranny, and the results were out.

The victor was?

Excellent Era!

The name that the crowd was hollering announced the other team that was entering the finals. This really wasn't an unexpected answer. Three seasons of the Pro League, three times entering the finals. Excellent Era had already become a looming mountain that the other teams needed to climb and conquer.

The audience's cheering was thunderous. Excellent Era's players were high-fiving each other, but they seemed more subdued. It wasn't because they were already used to victory, but because their celebration was always missing the backbone of their team, their core.

Ye Qiu, Excellent Era's captain. No matter what match, what victory, he would always quietly come and quietly go.

This made Sun Zheping, who was bursting with energy to exchange a few words with his opponent in the finals, feel like his energy had nowhere to go. That opponent he aspired to defeat wasn't even here!

Tyranny had lost, but they departed with their heads held high.

After three seasons, no one would look down on them any longer. This team's perseverance and tenacity was simply unparalleled.

"It's a shame." Watching Tyranny's players leave, someone in the audience quietly sighed and shook his head.

"Who're you talking about?" To the side, Huang Shaotian asked.

"Tyranny," said Yu Wenzhou.

"What do you mean?" At this point, Huang Shaotian very much trusted this partner of his, and he believed that making Yu Wenzhou Blue Rain's captain next season was an extremely wise decision.

"Over the course of the battle, there were at least four critical points that determined victory – here, here, here, and here," said Yu Wenzhou, pointing at places in his notebook.

"What here here here here… Who could understand all this stuff you drew?" After tilting his neck to look at the so-called "here's," Huang Shaotian still didn't follow.

"We'll talk more when we go back and watch the recordings. In any case, of these four points, in at least two of them, Tyranny's healer had the chance to control the battle situation. Then, they would have had a fighting chance," said Yu Wenzhou.

"Tyranny's healer…" Huang Shaotian thought back to the match, "…isn't really bad."

"I'm not saying he's bad. But Tyranny as a team has a lot of passion, and their healer has been carried along by that sort of style, too. It might be a bit… top-heavy." After thinking, Yu Wenzhou landed upon this descriptor.

"You're right." A new voice responded to Yu Wenzhou's words.

"Who're you?" Huang Shaotian jumped up and spun around. Behind them stood an intellectual-looking youth, who, after glancing at Huang Shaotian, pushed up his glasses and returned his gaze to Yu Wenzhou's notebook.

"But about those four critical points, I have a few different views," said the glasses boy.

"Oh?" Yu Wenzhou was immediately interested. He twisted his body around, lifted his notebook, and began earnest discussion with the glasses youth, who had come forward.

In this position, the two of them continued talking for a full half-hour. The match had ended long ago and the audience was beginning to depart, but at some point, another youth who had been leaving paused in his tracks, stood to the side, and began to listen to the discussion between Yu Wenzhou and the glasses youth. He didn't make any sound, but he couldn't help but nod along.

"And who are you?" Huang Shaotian, dumbfounded, stared at this newcomer.

"Yeah," the newcomer said absently. He wasn't answering Huang Shaotian – he had simply heard the two's analysis, felt that it made a lot of sense, and couldn't help but make a sound of agreement.

Yu Wenzhou and that glasses youth finally noticed the newcomer, and together looked at him.

"I'm sorry…" This person scratched his head, a bit awkward, and introduced himself: "I'm Xiao Shiqin."

"Yu Wenzhou."

"Zhang Xinjie."

Only now did the youths all introduce themselves to each other.

"Me me me me! Huang Shaotian." Huang Shaotian inserted himself with a shout.

"Hello," said Xiao Shiqin and Zhang Xinjie, practically in unison, and then they once again turned back to look at Yu Wenzhou.

"What do you think about that match between Hundred Blossoms and Tiny Herb?" Zhang Xinjie asked. They'd pretty much finished talking about Excellent Era versus Tyranny at this point, but they still felt like they hadn't gotten enough, and so they began to look for a new topic.

"Let's talk somewhere else," Xiao Shiqin suggested.

"Alright," Yu Wenzhou and Zhang Xinjie readily agreed.

With that, the three of them left. Huang Shaotian, still stunned, remained there for a bit before he ran to catch up with them, feeling flustered and exasperated. "Hey hey, there's still me! Wait, where'd you two even come from?"

Three days later.

In the sold-out stadium, the finals of Season 3 of the Glory Pro League had entered the climax.

"Watch Qi Breaker, watch Qi Breaker, watch Qi Breaker! Important things must be said three times!" In Hundred Blossoms' team chat, Sun Zheping, whose words were usually simple and concise, didn't hesitate to repeat himself three times to emphasize the Excellent Era player who was very often overlooked, Wu Xuefeng.

"Hundred Blossoms has already found the key point of victory." In the audience section, the youths who had analyzed and speculated about the semifinals agreed to meet up and watch the finals together, through eyes that were different than those of ordinary audience members.

Huang Shaotian proclaimed himself to be a very talkative person, but in this match of discussion, he lost. The opinions he gave probably contributed to less than ten percent of the overall conversation. But every time he made a remark, it was sharp enough to draw blood, and sometimes he would have insight on something that none of the other three had even detected. Last time, Huang Shaotian had been treated somewhat coldly during the conversation, but this time he won the respect of his new friends.

The youths very much agreed with Hundred Blossoms' decision to pay close attention to Qi Breaker on the battlefield.

"Qi Breaker's aid plays a significant role in increasing One Autumn Leaf's battle strength. No one has ever effectively cut this connection before," said Yu Wenzhou.

"More accurately, no one has ever paid enough attention to this arrangement," said Zhang Xinjie.

"Compared to One Autumn Leaf, Qi Breaker is an easier target in this system," said Xiao Shiqin.

"Hundred Blossoms is planning to do exactly that." As Yu Wenzhou spoke, he looked at the large screen displaying the match.

Gunshots, swordlight. The battle hadn't paused for a second. The communications within each team's chat channel were also a part of the battle, and while Hundred Blossoms locked onto Qi Breaker as their breakthrough point, Excellent Era's chat was also constantly refreshing with their judgments of their opponents.

"More mature than last year," Wu Xuefeng was saying.

"Careful, they might use you as their breakthrough point," Ye Qiu answered.

The stadium was in an uproar.

Hundred Blossoms' chat had only just announced their focus for the next part of the battle, and on Excellent Era's side Ye Qiu somehow immediately knew. Could he somehow see the opposing side's private chat?

That was impossible, of course. It could only be said that Ye Qiu's guess was very accurate.

Was it a guess?

After seeing Ye Qiu's correct judgment, the youths in the audience exchanged glances.

They didn't think that this was a random guess from Ye Qiu. This was judgment, one made from experience and awareness. Using available evidence, he hit the nail on the head. But what was the evidence? How had Ye Qiu deduced Hundred Blossoms' strategic plan? They couldn't tell.

"Is that so?" On the battlefield, Wu Xuefeng was replying. "Then for this final battle, let me also experience the feeling of being everyone's target."

"Go on, don't worry, leave the rest to me," Ye Qiu answered.

Once again, an uproar.

Final battle? What did that mean? The finals match was the last match of a season. But the meaning revealed by Wu Xuefeng's words… it didn't sound like he was talking about the end of a season.

Wu Xuefeng… was preparing to retire?

Many people immediately thought of this possibility. Judging from Wu Xuefeng's age, this wasn't impossible.

So, was this his final performance on the professional stage?

Qi Breaker, this character hidden by the radiance of Battle God One Autumn Leaf – for the first time, he took on a fearless attitude and charged straight toward the opponents.

"Qi Breaker's coming! Qi Breaker's coming!" Hundred Blossoms players shouted in the chat. The character they had wanted to target now all of a sudden voluntarily jumped forward.

This wasn't Excellent Era's normal strategy.

"Watch for tricks!" Sun Zheping warned his teammates.

"Just cut his connection to One Autumn Leaf," said Zhang Jiale. Dazzling Hundred Blossoms rushed forward, and an array of flashing gunfire and explosions flew toward Qi Breaker.

"Focus fire and attack!" Sun Zheping ordered, and the rest of the Hundred Blossoms characters swiftly turned their attacks to focus on Qi Breaker.

Collapsing Mountain!

Sun Zheping's Blossoming Chaos charged at the very front, slamming toward the incoming Qi Breaker with all the force of Mount Tai.

Countercurrent!

As Qi Breaker dodged to the side, he used the Qi Master's subtle knockup skill. A cloud of qi was hidden in his original position, waiting for Blossoming Chaos to land and be hit.

But Sun Zheping discovered this hidden trick early on. He canceled the Collapsing Mountain in midair and switched to a Falling Light Blade. A Falling Light Blade used with a greatsword didn't lose to a Collapsing Mountain in terms of the shockwave it created, which was sent rushing toward Qi Breaker. At the same time, the rest of Hundred Blossoms were all in place, aiming their attacks at Qi Breaker.

Was this the kind of situation that Ye Qiu always faced?

Facing all of these different attacks, Wu Xuefeng couldn't help but wonder.

To deal with an offensive like this by himself, it really was a bit of a struggle for him. But over the course of these three years, Ye Qiu had broken through such tyrannical barriers again and again, winning victory after victory for Excellent Era.

Wu Xuefeng couldn't do this himself. In the end, it's still up to you!

Dodge, move, find an opening, use a skill.

Wu Xuefeng controlled Qi Breaker to move around within the encirclement. He was always very clear with himself on his own abilities. To be like Ye Qiu and forcefully break through, it was cool, it was eye-catching, but it wasn't something that he could do.

"You know, I should really win an award for Best Supporting Character," he said in the chat. This sentence didn't carry any bitterness – if anything, there was pride and satisfaction. Wu Xuefeng believed that he had done what he could to the best of his ability. There was nothing to regret.

"The main character's here," Ye Qiu replied, very naturally taking up the role of protagonist.

"One Autumn Leaf's here!" Zhang Jiale shouted.

"Good timing!" Sun Zheping's fighting spirit was high. All was going according to plan. Two years ago, before he'd even entered the professional circle, he'd been watching Excellent Era's first championship victory. And ever since then, he'd been dreaming, if he stood in that place, what he would do.

Now, two years later, he obtained this chance. The plans he'd thought up were being beautifully executed by the talented teammates beside him.

One Autumn Leaf had arrived, breaking into their encirclement.

Focusing fire onto Qi Breaker, that had only been a premise. To topple Excellent Era, the one that had to be defeated was ultimately One Autumn Leaf.

"The kill begins!" Sun Zheping shouted.

Smoke Bullet!

Dazzling Hundred Blossoms' Smoke Bullet was released at the perfect time. A cloud of smoke swiftly expanded on the battlefield, impeding One Autumn Leaf's view and covering the movements of Hundred Blossoms.

Colliding Stab!

The strategy they'd practice was now going incredibly smoothly. Sun Zheping's Blossoming Chaos abruptly but precisely switched his attack target to One Autumn Leaf. The light and explosions from Dazzling Hundred Blossoms swirled tightly around him. The performance of Blood and Blossoms had only just begun!

But then - he missed!

One Autumn Leaf wasn't in the position Sun Zheping thought he'd be. He rapidly turned his camera view, and a silhouette flashed before him.

Whirlwind Strike!

He hadn't even seen his target clearly, but Sun Zheping was already controlling Blossoming Chaos to slash forward. His body was spinning, his blade was spinning, his view was spinning, but he only managed to brush the silhouette who had already swung past him.

"Missed!" Zhang Jiale shouted.

In his view, One Autumn Leaf had practically touched shoulders with Blossoming Chaos, but Sun Zheping still hadn't managed to catch him.

Zhang Jiale hurriedly controlled Dazzling Hundred Blossoms to move, chaotically firing off explosions to restrict One Autumn Leaf's advance.

But One Autumn Leaf's steps didn't stop, and he quickly approached Dazzling Hundred Blossoms. The attacks from the bullets and grenades didn't seem to have any effect on him at all.

No…

It wasn't that they had no effect at all. Zhang Jiale confirmed that as One Autumn Leaf rushed forward, he was dodging some of the attacks that came his way. He would avoid those attacks that would impede his movement, but for the attacks that only dealt damage, he would simply take them.

He was losing a bit of health, but he was approaching Dazzling Hundred Blossoms very quickly, faster than Dazzling Hundred Blossoms could retreat.

Had he seen through his Hundred Blossoms style?

Zhang Jiale was stunned. Even just looking at his flashy Hundred Blossoms style was difficult, never mind actually seeing through it. For Ye Qiu to be able to grasp this offensive well enough that he could move forward against every attack, that at least proved one thing: that Ye Qiu was extremely familiar with the Spitfire class. No, familiarity wasn't enough – he must have had profound understanding.

Can't stop him!

His own Dazzling Hundred Blossoms wasn't enough to stop him.

"Big Sun!" Zhang Jiale called for his partner.

But Ye Qiu's partner had already quietly made his move.

A Cloud Pushing Palm landed upon Dazzling Hundred Blossoms' back. Wu Xuefeng, who had gotten a slight opening after Hundred Blossoms turned their fire on One Autumn Leaf, immediately seized the opportunity and assisted Ye Qiu with his offensive.

Hit by the attack, Dazzling Hundred Blossoms was sent flying toward One Autumn Leaf.

"Thanks." Ye Qiu didn't forget to acknowledge him in the chat. One Autumn Leaf's Evil Annihilation jumped forward, and Dazzling Hundred Blossoms was sent high into the air.

"It's what I should do," Wu Xuefeng answered. Qi Breaker rolled on the ground, dodging the attacks that came from Hundred Blossoms. A Qi Bullet was sent out, toward Blossoming Chaos, who was currently rushing toward One Autumn Leaf.

But Blossoming Chaos wasn't stopped by it. With a powerful stance, he charged through to arrive in front of One Autumn Leaf.

Blossoming Chaos slashed at him with several skills in quick succession.

One Autumn Leaf dodged, managing to keep Dazzling Hundred Blossoms airborne all the while. It seemed that Blossoming Chaos' attack was entirely within his calculations.

Not only was he unusually familiar with the Spitfire class, his Berserker knowledge was also at the professional level.

Sun Zheping's flurry of attacks missed. Dazzling Hundred Blossoms was still flipping in the air, and yet his Blossoming Chaos was, because of skill cooldowns, stuck awkwardly and silently waiting.

Ye Qiu had completely broken their hunt to kill him.

Dazzling Hundred Blossoms was at One Autumn Leaf's mercy.

Blossoming Chaos lost control of the situation, his rhythm now completely off.

Hundred Blossoms' core Blood and Blossoms was crushed. And the Hundred Blossoms system that relied on them as their core naturally began to fall apart.

"It's over…" Watching from the audience, Yu Wenzhou let out a long sigh as he reached this conclusion.

"So… so strong…" Xiao Shiqin was almost stammering.

"It really is incredible. One Autumn Leaf has already reached this level, and yet he is still underestimated by his opponents," said Yu Wenzhou.

"It's because they don't understand him well enough. Only an opponent that truly understood him would have the chance to defeat him," Zhang Xinjie said thoughtfully, watching One Autumn Leaf charge toward victory on the battlefield.

"Then who will be the one to defeat him?" Yu Wenzhou chuckled.

"Me, of course," Huang Shaotian said, boldly slapping his chest.

"Next season, we will see," said Zhang Xinjie.

Glory Professional Alliance Season 3 ended with Excellent Era defeating Hundred Blossoms to win the third championship of the Glory Pro League. With their three consecutive championships, Excellent Era truly established their dynasty.

And outside the battlefield, the new generation of youth who had borne witness to the entire season now welcomed a season that belonged to them.

This was the most brilliant season of rookies in Glory's history, the group who would later come to be known as: the Golden Generation.

~END~

T/N: And so, after a year and a half of telling myself that I was never going to actually translate the whole prequel because I could never it’s so long, the prequel translation is complete. 

Thank you to everyone who’s read and discussed the prequel; it’s truly been my joy to help share these stories. I’ve grown a lot over the course of this, but my love for these characters and this world remains strong. 

As of writing this, we have about 262 more chapters of the main novel to go. See you guys back in the future, seven years from now, with old and new faces alike :)

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role Highlights C2E36 (October 2, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham and Matt Mercer!

Announcements:

The NYC show on Thursday still has tickets! 

The latest episode of Between the Sheets, featuring Laura Bailey, is now available on the Critical Role Twitch channel for subscribers! The VOD will be released on YouTube tomorrow.

The second episode of All Work No Play will air on the Twitch channel on Friday at 7 PM! There will be tapdancing involved.

@critrolestats​ for this week’s episode:

With four games in, the Dallas Cowboys are at a 50%-- wait, wrong stat.

The M9 got their 140th kill in this episode: Nott against the fourth harpy.

This is the third time Fjord has used the dodecahedron, and the second time he’s put a fragment of possibility to use.

DMing when PCs are on the ocean involves trying to figure out what interesting things can be found along the journey. Matt made a small chart to roll on to see what might possibly happen. "It’s a lot of not forcing events, necessarily, every single day, because otherwise nobody would ever fucking be on a boat in a fantasy world.” He wants it to be an adventurous, freeing sensation, and he wants it to be a bit of a sandbox for the players. (The map finally arrived!) “It’s allowing enough intrigue and possibility out there where the players can utilize the ship at their disposal, and coming up with interesting encounters that capitalize on the region and capitalize on the limitations of the ship as well.”

Travis has been on (non-sailing) boats most of his life, so he knows the terminology. “But when it comes to fuckin’ pirate ships...” He wrote Fjord’s backstory with “sailor” in it, but didn’t get a chance to research it at all. Matt was so intimidated by the (three) sailing terms Fjord included in his backstory that he’s been intently studying up on nautical stuff ever since. There are graphs behind his DM screen. Matt: “I was just trying to keep up with him!” 

But Travis has been doing research since then. He’d just never thought about the fact that he might be the only one who knew how to sail a ship. Matt: “It might not have been a major issue if you guys had booked passage...” Travis: “I should have done a moderate level of research just to be more familiar with it, so it’s causing me now to catch up to the homework that you did. We’ll see how this week goes, being that it’s in front of a live crowd...” 

Brian: “This is such a weird metaphor for you guys’ friendship.”

Matt expected Orly was going to be an information source while the group was in Nicodranas. After the M9 stole the ship so unexpectedly, it turned out Orly was the only other person they knew who had the skills they needed. Brian knows it’s a big ask, but he’d love to see amazing cosplay of Orly.

Fjord is definitely wondering whether the sword will react in some way with the water---just touching it in didn’t make a difference, but he’s wondering whether practicing his sword exercises on the ship might’ve had an effect. Travis: “Until now, it’s been a pretty one-sided avenue of communication. I don’t know if there’s any way to *69 that motherfucker.”

Gif of the Week: Caduceus’ “Hello darkness my old friend” moment.

The jellyfish bloom was a random encounter Matt rolled on his table: he has assorted natural sights on the list to add atmosphere. “It was an improvised part of the narrative based on a few rolls.” Brian wants to insure Matt’s brain.

For the map that came out last session, Travis got a quick sneak peek at it. “I love reefs, just from scuba diving, so I memorized those. Most of the trade routes didn’t go over reefs, so if we hit one of those, it would be immediately dangerous.” If people’s backgrounds tie into certain areas, Matt e-mails them summaries as needed so that the players can deliver the information and it’s not just a DM info dump.

Caduceus’ super high perception is opening up a lot of interesting stuff for the party; there were a lot of situations that flew under the radar before, and Matt’s looking forward to finding more moments like that. “You want to reward a player for their strengths.”

Matt mentions that, in all the games he’s played with Taliesin, he’s always played very high-intelligence characters. He’s fascinated to see him play a low-INT high-WIS character with Caduceus.

Travis: “I don’t typically like to give people orders? Fjord was a first mate on the ship, that’s as high as he rose. In my mind, those were people that he had worked with for years. He was receiving orders and then dispersing them, not coming up with the ideas himself. For me, as a player, I enjoyed the luxury of an idiot for the first campaign, because I got to be reactionary. It is an entirely, entirely different thing, and it’s been kind of weird, being responsible for everybody, having to make quick decisions when no one else has any input.” He found himself looking for the bench in the last couple episodes. 

On the clusterfuck at the docks, Travis: “I had gone far below zero hit points in player.” He was so off-balance and nothing seemed to be working. “You can’t always bench yourself. You gotta keep fuckin’ playing.” Matt points out that it’s common to have an off session: “The fact that you’ve finally had a couple is reassuring to the rest of us mortals in your presence.” It’s tough to be the character who has such a major impact on the course of events, and Travis has been learning how to deal with that pressure (after being able to just shrug it off as Grog) and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Travis: “I had a totally different idea of what my participation in the group would be.” He wasn’t expecting to be the face of the group.

Matt mentions that there are sessions where the group has had fun but he goes home “feeling like shit” over some series of mistakes (which often gets reinforced online), but he emphasizes that it’s totally okay to have off nights, and that it’s important to talk it out with players or other DM friends if you’re still feeling upset about it.

Fanart of the Week: Nott and Caduceus having their bonding moment at sea.

Matt: “There was a whole bunch of shit in Nicodranas you could have explored.” Travis: “I love how he gave us a fuckin’ wizard tower.” Matt pointed out that Algar had an employee who ran off during their first attack. “There’s a lot of adventure in Nicodranas still when you return.” Matt points out that sometimes the story you have prepared isn’t as exciting as what the players stumble into on their own. The ramifications when they come back could be a lot of fun, as well. 

Travis on the pressure he’s under for this arc: “The rest of the group is fuckin’ loving it, like a bunch of assholes. They are eating up my panic with spoons and forks.” Matt points out that the tables have turned after the first campaign.

Fjord’s whole backstory was based on trying to disappear; he was just glad to have a role that didn’t require a spotlight. “He just wanted to live a life and have a role and have an existence.” He feels like his unique looks and abilities fit in with the M9, but being put in charge of that, especially in the wake of the massive confidence shake that came with the Lorenzo kidnapping and Molly’s death, he’s still reeling. It’s only been a few weeks since Lorenzo. 

It’s been especially terrifying to realize this Fjord-centric arc is going to be such a big part of the New York live show. Travis: “I was so crestfallen. That was the moment I was like, ‘Fuck.’” Matt, happily: “It’s going to be fun.” Travis, strained and yelling: “IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT.”

Jester’s mom hadn’t heard the rumors of a blue tiefling dying at the docks, so fortunately that information hadn’t gotten to her before Jester sent her message. Matt breaks down the bizarre mystery the guards are dealing with right now: it could have had much, much more serious consequences. “They’re not completely fucked. There’s just some threads of fuckery out there.” Avoiding the patrol ships and being able to disguise themselves has been key. Matt points out that a lot of the Nein have had really skittish, mistrustful backgrounds; over time, they might be more likely to try to interface with the guards in a scenario like that, but they’re not there yet.

Travis on the jellyfish conversation: “I was kind of in awe of my wife at that moment. Her emotional availability is second to none. And then to take that beautiful moment and be so introspective about that character. I was trying to ask her questions, and then she pointed it dead on at me. I was like, oh god, I don’t know. I was trying to be sensitive and do something that would make her feel better, but man, it left both of us---Fjord and me---shook. I interpreted it one way. There had been gentle teasings. But man, when the emotions are real...” 

Matt’s been finding it interesting that Fjord and Caleb have been taking on leadership roles in a non-competitive, please-take-this way, and he’s excited to see how the roles are distributed moving forward. “I fuckin’ love D&D. Oh my god.”

Matt points out that the M9 is a different kind of found family than VM. “All of Vox Machina seemed pretty confident of who they were and what they wanted to be in the world. This group is very different; they’re these lost souls who, through their connections to each other, are trying to find a purpose and keep each other safe.” He likes the natural pace of that development and is happy that themes of change and redemption are so prominent in their character arcs. “As the kids on the internet say, ‘I’m here for it.’”

Travis: “I had to ask Liam this week what ‘stan’ meant. I thought they left the ‘d’ off it.”

Hats appear.

Talks Machina: Is It the Same Channel?

Brian, on the perfect burrito: “Skittles. Starburst bites. Jujubes. Wrapped in a fruit roll-up.” That is a little too close to my actual dinner tonight and I may have to reevaluate some of my life choices.

Their favorite thing about the live show is the energy. Matt: “It’s one thing to be playing together as friends, but once every now and then, being able to share it live there with so many people who are as excited as we are to be there. Of all the years I’ve done theatre and that high I’ve had on stage, this is even better for me.” Much as the heart of the show is its intimate nature, they love having the live show as a change of pace a couple of times a year. Matt points out that the weirdness of live D&D is that the audience there is as knowledgeable and invested. “It’s not like there’s a barrier and you’re here to entertain, you’re all just here in this moment.”

Travis mentions that alignment’s been more important at the start of the game when they’ve been trying to establish their character, just to keep from veering off into random stabs at action. Matt: “I think alignment’s a great guide if you’re unfamiliar with the process of realizing a personality that’s different from yours and stepping into their shoes. I prefer to think that characters’ actions drive alignment, rather than alignment driving characters’ actions. I don’t feel like you should use alignment as a way of excluding yourselves from making those choices that otherwise a character would never make.”

Matt: “Don’t google ‘burrito train’.”

It takes like ten minutes to Brian’s nipple rings.

Dani, being shipped to New York.