#i love you emma i love you godwin

[borgialucrezia]

I havent watched all of the new vikings valhalla yet but I love the scenes at the vatican. Godwin basically third wheeling Emma and canute, him and Emma seeming to try and avoid each other and canute being so close ti just storming off all the time. Its so much fun.

i'm so serious when i say emma and godwin need a spin-off where they sneak diss, outmaneuver, and banter with each other while canute rolls his eyes at the scenes they cause at court...netflix do your thing!!

[ofbetterbodies]

poor things (2023) running commentary:

(live editing as I watch)

from ~17 min mark onwards

- love the variety of camera work!!! It's so cool I love how yorgos tells the story

- Bella is so silly goofy during her carriage meltdown like realest girl ever methinks

-oh how I wish she wasn't chloroformed

- as an advocate of desexualized titties I'm loving the scene with prim and Bella bc yeah real it be like that

-god I hate this actors accent work I'm sorry to say

-WE IN COLOR!!!

-HOMEGIRL FUCKING KILLED HERSELF SHES SO FUCKING REAL (sorry for being so crass)

-the coloring !!!!!! Oh my god it's so beautiful I'm so obsessed with how color is used in this film

-GROSS SURGERY SCENE FUCK YEAH (girl who hates horror movies

- I knew the premise going in but oh my god.

-she is awake ☀️ rise and shiiinnee ☀️

-LOVE BIG CHAIR WISH I HAD BIG CHAIR !!

-hey what

-HAIRY BUSINESS ????

-well 😭😐

-as a weird science bitch I love the fantasy world of mad scientist family who use their children as experiments

-Bella be like bye ✌️

-hm. I hate this.

-I understand. But I hate this.

-this is what film is for I think to explore weird ideas and scenarios but oh my god 😭😭

-wish they didn't say it like that

-LOVE THE THESIS STATEMENT DROP LMFAOOO

30min mark

-I'm gonna be fr max you are a big idiot if you think this girl understands the sanctity of marriage

-big big biggg fan of the sound design in this

-LOVE the bubble wand

-*hates* I have to hate

-*more hate*

-OH HIS NAME IS GODWIN (that's good)

-Bella is so smart | "Bella not safe with you, I think"

-oh I hate 😍😍😍

-girl I'm dizzy with excitement too so true

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-no don't adventure with a man who cares little of damage to you 😭

-I get her

-Bella said heyyyyyy lol

-oh!

-GIRL HELP????????????????????

-she's so crazy lol

-I hate the pig chicken btw

-YEAH SHE IS A BEING OF FREE WILL! But she needs to be protected lmfao??

-you're such a dumb fucking bitch if you think being worried about her is emotional and not logical

-oh!

-good for her I think?

-dress 🩷

-color!

-I think he should die for saying she can't have another sweet treat

-ew

-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm don't like

-idk ! I don't like how these scenes are shot

-could have just been the last frame

-furious jumping 😭😭

-girl help

-girl HELP 😭😭 (yes it's a weakness 🩷)

-ew

-I hope she leaves

-yay !

45min mark

-wardrobe so cute hate the hair like I understand it would suit the character but I'm allowed to hate it aesthetically

-sunnies! :)!!

-the boots are sooo cute help

-OBSESSED WITH THE SET OH MY FJDJDHSHSBSHHZ OG MY GOD THE SET IS SOOOOOO CUTE?? Like the set?? Sobbing and crying

-Bella so real for crying when watching a beautiful woman play music me too

-Bella discovers fighting and crying from witnessing fights real

-I love how Emma manages to use her body language to be like damn god never prepared me for this!

-throws up

-girl me too

-I get her idk

-Duncan should die btw

-SHES SO REAL NO ONE CAN JUST DISAPPEAR 😭

-amazement to Bella. I love her

-SUGAR AND VIOLENCE !! IT IS MOST CHARMING. I AM FINE.

-love that (good for her)

-yeah why would I keep it in my mouth if it is revolting

-because you mean

-SALTY 😭

-I love her

-PUNCH THAT BABY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-like I get her real

-I think Duncan should die

-you are hurting Bella!

-slaps

-good

-kith

-Bella!

-THE TRAIN DRAWING HELP I LOVE HER

-shoulder moment

-SKIRT !!!! SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY

-Duncan should die

-makes me discover angery feelings for you I love her

-IS THIS THE DANCE SCENE?? Yay

-tiptap

-GET IT

-lead that man Bella

-I'm like I think Duncan should die and they're like partial credit

-Duncan hey maybe uh that's a bit far

-PLEASE JOIN THE PRETTY GIRL WHILE HE IS BEING NEEDLESSLY VIOLENT

-stop talking as your sounds make Bella angry

-I love her

-NO!!!!!! BAD BAD BAD !!! NO!!! WHY ARE THEY TOGETHER STILL

-Bella is smart 🩷 she 🩷

-fuck this guy for not loving how intelligent she is btw

-LMFAOO IS THAT NOT HAPPENING?

-so no head? *skateboard crack*

-she is terrifying I love her

-OH!

-I love Emma's acting so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭

-girl.

-I love her

-god I love her

-I fear I am also a confusing person Bella I get you

-oh if something happens to Godwin I'm kms

-THE SOBS AT NIGHT 😭

-sorry. You what

-hey uh I think your father shouldve died 🩷

1hr mark

-hellogoodmornin

-Duncan should die

-Oh that went better than I thought

-she sounds so unimpressed I love her

-BOATS BOATS BOATS

-Bella so smart

-ew

-ew

-I don't like Duncan

-if that wasn't obvious

- Emma stone is breathtaking. That's the commentary

-did I mention that I love the wardrobe for Bella? I love the wardrobe for Bella

-hi I'm Bella and I like a guy who can kill things

-three days 😐🫡

-she sleeb

-T H E S H I P

-she's so unimpressed I adore her sm

-she's both like so me and also so unlike me I'm obsessed -UGH BELLA I LOVE YOU!!

-NO EVIDENCE BASE 😭

-I adore her

-do I kin Bella poor things a little bit? Maybe.

-skirt 😍😍

-oh! Maybe she should have asked first

-I agree though I go up to interesting older ladies as well

-oh!

-yelling happily!

-cadaver into the sea 😭

-that is terrible!

-Bella Baxter btw I love u

-BELLLAA MY BELOVED

-much reassuring news 🩷 she's so kind

-god I'm so happy she made friends

-I think Duncan should die

-marry me or kill me? Is that the proposal!

-adore her

-I think Duncan should die (he is pathetic)

-MARGARET QUALLEY CHECK!!!!!!!

-felicity is so seven.mp3

-Bella I love you

-harry you look soooooo cool

-HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP

-"I is the goal of all to improve, advance, progress, grow. I know this in me, and I am sure I am indicative of all."

-harry you should shut up and have more nuance in your statements (she said hypocritically)

-HEY I THINK DUNCAN SHOULD DIE

-she's so belle from batb coded

-Karina kinnie moment ?? Yeah

-wardrobe 🩷 if this was pastel pink I would wear it out daily

-SET DESIGN IS SO BEAUTIFUL I WANT 2 CRY!

-oh. I don't like this. Oh no.

-oh no.

-oh no

-HELP!!??

-LMFAOOO Martha I love you

1hr15min mark

-slow zoom in on Bella knocking on the door I love her

-oh Bella

-being kept up at night with philosophy I love her

-pretty moron 🩷 I would disagree on the pretty part bc of the fact that his character detracts heavily from his appearance

-scene transition so beautiful Karina cry

-THE FUCKING CARRIAGES WHAT IF I DIED ISHDHSJSJKAS THEYRE BEAUTIFUL!!!

-A L E X A N D R I A

-Emma stones beauty in every shot of this film is sincerely breathtaking

-camera work the optic blur does so much for me

-OH I LOVE THIS SET !!!!!!!!!! THE LIGHTING IS BEAUTIFUL

-WARDROBEEEE ✨☀️

-oh!

-harry I hate how you said that

-I do however love this set

-yay yorgos for the real life set

-weird film

-I hope Duncan died

-pinhole camera is interesting but I don't entirely love it

-I hope these dudes who are going to steal from Bella's donation choke

-oh!

-I hope she didn't give away all their money I truly don't know if she would know

-oh this scene Emily "emma" stone your acting 🩷🩷🩷🩷

-she worked hard on this and I appreciate it but as an viewer I'm like 🧍🏻‍♀️ uh oh

-Bella run

-going to mute this bc I have ✨trauma✨

- ok good I kind of thought it was going to get physically violent?

-but uh this is not good!

-omg like the marina and the diamonds song??

-god I am a Bella Baxter kinnie 😐

-harry shut up did you know that realism is stupid

-FUCK YES BELLA YOU GET IT I LOVE YOU 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

-the silly little kiss on the cheek

-oh!

-"I always think it will be better." 🚬😐

-P A R I S

-I hate this fucking man

-I love herrr everything is an experiment!!!!

-ADVENTUROUS

-ew

-I mean she is in Paris

-if it's consensual I guess it's ok but I fear that she doesn't know about venereal diseases

-oh!

-why did you shoot this so explicitly yorgos

-it's an interesting choice

-oh! 😐

-I'm... skipping this 😍

~1hr 28 min mark (a little past)

-love her

-eclairs

-oh I hate you Duncan

-oh Bella Baxter I love you

-dude shut up bye

-I can now see you are not that...

-Duncan I hate you

-there is clearly something broken in you

-Duncan I hate you

-god Bella I get you queen

-oh I hate the makeup on her but it fits I guess

-OH SHE DID IT HERSELF

-she has to say formidable at the end help

-bye I'm skipping this

-skipped to 1hr 33 min mark -

-oh fuck yes she gets to hang with the gorls

-oh! Good for her

-SOCIALISM 😍

-GOD I GET HERRRR (girl who had scientist dad)

-oh!

-ew

-pls don't talk about yourself like that :(

-an idealist!

-ew 🩷 but she's right

-oh grandchild ohhh I get it

-I do appreciate the camera work

-oh I get her

-oh she is talking to them?

-OH SHES SCIENTIFICALLY MAKING SEX WORK BETTER 😭

-le giggle

-oh good for her

-this is shot well so I did not skip (and by well I mean tolerable to my sensibilities I guess?)

-oh!

-grateful for the montage that was tolerable

- Bella so cute

-Bella in stem moment

-aw yay!

-love the sloppy work comment I get her

-oh!

-she's so real

-ew

-ew?

-ew

-EW!!!

-Karina skip

1hr42min mark

-Duncan should die

-BELLA FIT CHECK

-Duncan I hate you

-ok the little hello to Bella's friend 😭😭

-WE ARE OUR OWN MEANS OF PRODUCTION 🫡

-oh hi felicity

-HI MARGARET

- oh :(

-poor felicity

-gory surgery scene I hate it but why am I watching?

-OH SHITT

-cancer :(

-oh no

-oh no

-compliments and chocolate help

-swiney is so cool the tattoos are amazing

-oh Bella :( real

-this is reminding me vaguely of fable iii

-oh good for her

-music so pretty

-kinda wish this was shot differently

-they cuddle :) she sing :)

-toinette I love you

-lmfao did Duncan go insane over her

-that's so funny

-max you are so slay

-ew

-they go fight fight fight

-oh!

-oh :(

-L O N D O N

-it could be said that Bella's adventure was a so long London moment

-THE WHORE IS BACK?? Die

-empirical data says different :(

-beady eyes and hard questions 😭

-amazing

-she finds out

-oh

-fascinating

-can't wait to see how Emma acts Bella's reaction

-OH SHE HATES MAX FOR THIS

-that look was severe to say the least

-sister meetup!

- bell whore :(

-meanie

-AND SHE RETURNS??

-oh I love this conversation

-I am finding being alive fascinating

-the way Bella just states her emotional state bluntly and to the point sooo true queen

-wardrobe

-FISHEYE!! RADIAL BLUR!! BEAUTIFUL!!!

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHSHHHHDHDGDGGHDHDMAX AND BELLA MAX AND BELLA SLAYYY

-GOD I ALSO AGREE PEOPLE CAN BE CURED OF ASPECT

-oh max mccandles

-I AM ENJOYING THIS PRACTICAL LOVE WE HAVE 😭

-THE COCKTAIL OF DRUGS GOD IS ON LMFAOOOO

-WEDDING TIMEEE-

-uhoh

-uhoh

-shut up Duncan

-he has cancer you fucking idiot 😭😭

-ew

-who tf

-Victoria blessington is a hell of a name

-ew

-but that does not apply to the metaphor here

-I am Bella Baxter ,,,,,

-oh!

-uhoh

-love the dress

-oh :(

-GORGEOUS LOCATION

-how tolerate it core

-oh she wanted to know why she died :(

-oh that sucks for bella Victoria

-her direct questions I love her

-ew

-ew

-it was fascinating!

-sound design crazy

-sexual hysteria...

-oh I hate this guy... a lot...

-I love the way this is shot

-Bella I love you

-so I'm a prisoner....

-she™️

-this guy is weird

-THAT TRANSITION 🫡🫡🫡🫡

-oh the wardrobe downgrade!!

-music

-children's hospital ass location

-SORRY YOU WHAT

-WHAT

-WHAT

- oh she must be regretting this something crazy but it is an interesting challenge

-this guy is awful

-hell yeah

-dumb ass

-Bella so smart

-idk how to say this without sounding evil but I hope she experiments on him

-I GET HER

-god and Bella!

_bellas smudged lipstick lol

-oh Godwin :(

-it's all very interesting, what is happening.

-BEAUTIFULLY SHOT

-besties

-gin 🩷

-THE GENERAL WHO IS NOW SHEEP MAN LOL

-Felicity 🩷

-Bella wardrobe 🩷

-she nervous for exam but studying my queen fr

- credits are beautiful and old school! 🩷

[agentnico]

Poor Things (2023) review

Yorgos Lanthimos may be the new Quentin Tarantino when it comes to feet fetishes in cinema, as there are so many Emma Stone feet shots in this movie… so many. Also, her little toe is oddly square shaped, just saying.

Plot: An incredible tale and fantastical evolution of Bella Baxter (Emma Stone), a young woman brought back to life by the brilliant and unorthodox scientist Dr. Godwin Baxter (Willem Dafoe). Under Baxter's protection, Bella is eager to learn. Hungry for the worldliness she is lacking, Bella runs off with Duncan Wedderburn (Mark Ruffalo), a slick and debauched lawyer, on a whirlwind adventure across the continents. Free from the prejudices of her times, Bella grows steadfast in her purpose to stand for equality and liberation.

At first I was very much a fan of director Yorgos Lanthimos’ directing style, with him managing to take any event or piece of dialogue and turn it into deadpan awkwardness. As such, his indie films The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer both are great examples of entertaining postmodern cinema with each one featuring a dystopian visual style. That being said, his last film The Favourite, even though it was a hit with the critics and the award ceremonies, for me did not hit the same. It felt much more reserved compared to the director’s previous efforts, and his usual weird style just came off crude and the humour for me personally did not land. Nicholas Hoult was a hoot though, but when isn’t he! Anyway, going into Poor Things I was hoping for more of the original magic which I’ve seen from Lanthimos in his earlier works, and the trailers with their vibrant visuals really sparked my interest, so I went in with high hopes.

So in terms of the visuals, Poor Things may just feature some of the best and most imaginative sets of any movie of 2023. Starting off the first part in black-and-white, very reminiscent of the old Universal monster flicks, but then 30 minutes in transforming into a technicolour dream world with colours popping Wizard of Oz-style, with every shot reminiscent of a vivid painting, with the use of the fisheye lends to create a somewhat watercolour effect to the backgrounds. The movie looks and feels artificial, which connected well with the narrative of this Frankenstein’s monster type woman learning and discovering everything with a brain that’s both her’s and not. Oh, and she happens to also wear rainbow glasses, so I can only imagine how much more stranger the world must look through her eyes.

The film’s biggest asset is its acting. Emma Stone is phenomenal as she has to play a grown woman with the brain of a baby, and then show us that woman growing into her brain (or maybe show us the baby growing into the woman?) over the course of the film. She really does throw herself into the role and it’s the type of role that awards shows will delightfully seek their teeth into. Willem Dafoe as the maker of Bella felt like a character that walked straight off a David Lynch fantasy, from the prosthetic make-up to his performance as the mad scientist that falls for his creation. But the real stand out here is Mark Ruffalo who simply is on another level. Playing the slimy player who only sees women through the male gaze, and attempts to take advantage of Bella’s naive outlook life for his own physical pleasure, it’s the kind of character you are supposed to despise, but gosh did I love everything Ruffalo was doing in this film. He was truly hilarious with every piece of his line delivery successfully painting the pathetic nature of his foolish character. Most critics will be showering Emma Stone with praise and deservingly so, however I believe Mark Ruffalo should not be overlooked and may be the actual MVP of the whole movie.

Narrative wise this is a fun feminist spin on the Frankenstein formula, that is a loud and proud shout to female autonomy for those who may have found Barbie a bit too cheesy and perky, yet I do find the movie to be overly cynical against its own good. It's like Lanthimos approached the film in the same way the mad scientist played by Willem Dafoe in the movie approaches his medical experiments -- with a cool eye and a lot of curiosity, but very little heart. And for the bubbly and big eyed Bella that is full of life and excitement, the film she’s in is the polar opposite. Look, I admired the film for what it was, but the romantic within me wanted a bit more of the, as the French would say, ‘amour’. Also there was just too much sex for my viewing pleasure. Again, I don’t mind a lil’ hanky-panky in my films, but when I’m sat in a dark theatre surrounded by many perverts with 90% of what I’m watching being humans doing the thrusting and the throbbing, it is a tad uncomfortable. You can also imagine what my fiancée thought when I told her afterward about the movie’s heavily erotic side.

Poor Things is very much a film that screams the director’s unique and distinct style and I truly respect it for that, however I personally feel like its not my cup of tea as it was a bit too cold for my liking. There wasn’t really a character I could connect or sympathise with, and even though Mark Ruffalo is funny as hell, his character is a piece of scum and a half. Again, kudos to the whole production team and cast for a great niche slice of art house cinema, but it’s too creepy for my liking.

Overall score: 7/10

[oceanflowerbird]

Hi, I hope you're enjoying your little vacation :) you always seem to give great book recommendations and I was wondering if you know of any good 'romantic' type novels?

Thanks, I definitely am! These are some of the best romances I’ve read this year (including historical and fantasy). Bit of a trigger warning for lots of spice and kink and controversy: Overall spice:

Credence - Penelope Douglas (already read her new book too and I was not impressed)

The Wild One - Daisy Jane 

All My Love - Daisy Jane 

Give Me More - Sara Cate

Overall plot:

Out on a Limb - Hannah Bonam-Young 

The Seven Year Slip - Ashley Poston

When A Scot Ties The Knot - Tessa Dare

Worthy mentions:

His Darkest Desire - Tiffany Roberts 

Tied - Carian Cole

Black Wings and Stolen Things - Kayleigh King

Lights Out - Navessa Allen

Sustained - Emma Chase

In A Jam - Kate Canterbary

Ignite - Melanie Harlow

Bride - Ali Hazelwood

Series I read and LOVED:

The Ravenels - Lisa Kleypas

The Hathaways - Lisa Kleypas

Mackenzies & McBrides - Jennifer Ashley

Deep Waters - Emma Hamm 

Fire & Desire - Chloe Chastaine

Castles Ever After - Tessa Dare

Second Sons - Emily Rath

Frozen Fate - Pam Godwin (the last book came out this past Monday!) 

Of Flesh & Bone - Harper L. Woods

The Alliance - S.J. Tilly

Authors I read multiple books of:

Daisy Jane

S.J. Tilly

Emma Hamm

Kate Canterbary

Tiffany Roberts

Sara Cate

Laurelin Paige

Elsie Silver

Melanie Harlow

C.M. Nascosta

Ashley Poston

Kathryn Moon

Lisa Kleypas

Lillian Lark

Lilith Vincent 

Katee Robert

Emily Rath

Kate Stewart

Sorcha Black

Tessa Dare

Jennifer Ashley

Kerrigan Byrne

[cinemaocd]

Jenny's ongoing list of films watched 2024

February

January list, here.

Inland Empire (2006)*** It took three attempts to get through this long, confusing film. Like Mulholland Drive or the Season Three of Twin Peaks, Lynch films improve on repeat viewings even if meaning remains elusive. That is part of the joy-- sometimes you just vibe with it.

Death of Stalin (2017)**** One of my favorite films of the last two decades. A harried farce with the bloody-mindedness of Macbeth. Like the Scottish Play, we know how its going to come out, but the fun is in watching the articulate villain, played with delicious malice by Simon Russell Beale being outdone by a team of bumbling, petty bureaucrats and one very bad ass soldier. The Boyfriend (1970)*** Ken Russell's surreal tribute to the burlesque musical genre makes the most of its setting in the 1920s by putting his star Twiggy in iconic psychadelic reiterations of the flapper dress. If you opine the fact that drop waist dresses come back into style every 15 years or so, then this movie is as much to blame as anything. Poor Things (2023)*** Emma Stone gives a wild and convincing physical performance as Bella, a baby's brain in the body of her dead mother and Mark Ruffalo as typical 19th Century Rake Getting His Comeupance iscasting I didn't know I needed. I loved the yearning Godwin (Willem Defoe in truly amazing Frankenstein's monster makeup) and though I haven't read the book, I was drawn into the grotesque, ai generated world of the film. The aesthetics of this movie are as engrossing as the story and characters. Adventures of a Dentist (1965)** The Soviet version of the live action Disney comedies of the 70s, where a humble person is given magical power. Here a dentist is given extraordinary, almost magical abilities to perform dentistry without pain. He becomes a celebrity and his fall from grace involves him giving in to the decadent trappings of being a popular dentist. The humor has a darker edge than Disney though I wouldn't go so far as to call it a black comedy. Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall (1973)** This Spike Milligan film plays like a double episode of Dad's Army, not least because of the presence of Arthur Lowe who plays practically the same character here as he does on the tv show. That is not the end of the world however and this is easy to like farce with Milligan's ascerbic, anti-authoritarian bent that is grittier than anything on the sitcom. The Master (2012)** I had high hopes for this, one of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's final films and his last collaboration with director Paul Thomas Anderson is loosely based on the origin story of Scientology. Joaquin Phoenix plays a shell shocked veteran who drifts into the path of the cult leader played by Hoffman. Amy Adams gives a chilling performance as his much younger, controlling wife who is the real power behind the cult. I think I would have an easier time with this film if Anderson hadn't gone around giving interviews saying that Scientology and it's founder L. Ron Hubbard had "helped a lot of people." Of course, this is PTA and Phoenix's character isn't helped at all and he makes the cult worse by being a violent enforcer for the leader's enemies. The levels of whitewashing involved in making a deeply misogynistic cult into a secret matriarchy is just...ugh. However, the homoerotic tension between Hoffman and Phoenix makes the film worth looking out. Murder of Quality (1991)** Made for TV adaptation of John Le Carre's second novel. Denholm Elliott plays Smiley as more doddering and anti-social than Alec Guinness' iconic version of the character. This early Smiley story is more a traditional English village murder mystery, ala Miss Marple, with Glenda Jackson playing Ailsa, Smiley's war buddy that runs a women's magazine. Christian Bale plays one of the students at an elite prep school that forms the economic backbone of the town. Le Carre is merciless in his portrayal of the toxic, petty characters, the wealthy and wannabe wealthy swamp dwellers who run rings around the local constabulary until Smilley steps in and withstands their slings and arrows long enough to solve the case.

The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970)*** Sometimes you sit down to watch a movie with such low expectations that you are pleasantly surprised that it doesn't totally suck. The excitement of things not being as bad as you feared can blot out some of a movie's excesses. At the end of the day this is Billy Wilder, physically incapable of creating a boring movie throwing the whole bag of tricks at this faux biography of Holmes starring Robert Stephens and Colin Blakely. There's farce and physical comedy, verbal gymnastics and exotic locations. Holmes' possible homosexuality is tastefully hinted at and attempts to create a sensationalist account of his drug use, amount to little before the mystery gets rolling. One of the big delights is Christopher Lee as Mycroft whose scenes with Robert Stephens are bitchy queen pissing contests. Genevieve Page does a turn as a would be damsel in distress who turns out to be a worthy opponent to Holmes similar to Irene Adler.

Irma La Duce (1963)*** For some reason between this and Poor Things I ended up watching two movies about Parisian brothels this month. Billy Wilder based this pastiche of 1950s travelogue adventure films like To Catch a Thief and Charade on a French stage play. A strange attempt to weld the success of the Apartment with Some Like it Hot, reconfiguring a Marilyn Monroe vehicle as a reunion of Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine. Like the Apartment, Irma LaDuce is tinged with melancholy while avoiding a lot of the cliches about sex work that wind up dating so many films on this topic. The main complaint I have about Irma LaDuce s that it's about 45 minutes too long, a common complaint about many films of this period. (Damn Lawrence of Arabia and all who sail in her).

Witness for the Prosecution (1982)*** A made for tv adaptation of the classic courtroom drama, which credits Billy Wilder's screenplay of his film version. Ralph Richardson and Deborah Kerr star in this remake and honestly their chemistry is just off the charts and we're left to wonder how they never managed to make a film together before. Wendy Hiller, Diana Rigg and Beau Bridges round out the amazing cast. Lacks the tension and edge of Wilder's film but I'm having too much fun with Ralph to care.

The Major and the Minor (1942)**: Billy Wilder's first film as writer and director has some of the hallmarks of his later, greater works: farce, trains, mistaken identity, and queer themes in the form of a lesbian coded sister of Ginger Roger's romantic rival. That all the fuss is about fairly bland Ray Milland is easy enough to overlook as Wilder makes the film about toying with Rogers image as sophisticated, sexy, dancer. Typical Wilder inside jokes about the film industry abound, such as a craze for Veronica Lake hairdos among the tween set and swipes at Hollywood actors like Charles Boyer Rogers' childish masquerade to avoid paying full adult fare is preceded by a series of calamities where she's pursued and objectified by a lot of nasty older men. Hoping to escape their advances as well as the ignominity of turnstyle jumping, she maintains the charade through a long weekend with a lot of handsy tween boys until Milland's fiancee is discredited as a controlling social climber. There is a bizarre side track into her home town where Rogers also impersonates her mother before revealing her grown adult self to Milland. No one ever accused Billy Wilder of being restrained I guess.

The Children's Hour (1961)**** This classic of queer cinema was necessarily a scorched earth tragedy at the time of its release. William Wyler's dreamy, restless camera drags you into the warm, cozy life of this female partnership between Shirley Maclaine and Audrey Hepburn that seemingly has the potential to be a romantic partnership. When nasty gossips and spoiled children start a rumor that they are a couple, the scandal destroys their business and standing in the community. Terrorized by the homophobic townspeople, they are eventually "cleared" of the crime of being gay for each other, just when Maclaine's character comes to the brutal realization that she really is in love with Audrey Hepburn's character. It's hard to watch her grief and shame as she admits that the bullies have discovered a truth about her that she didn't know herself. A fact so many queer people can find relatable. The film is based on a play by Lilian Hellman which used the topic of homosexuality to expose the cruelty of female narcissists who bully their way into power. There is much in common with Hellman's The Little Foxes in that way, but the film, perhaps owing to Wyler's inherent romanticism has more of a Romeo and Juliet quality than the play. One feels that Audrey Hepburn has perhaps realized the truth in the lie, just a few moments too late.

Sweet Charity (1969)*** Directed by Bob Fosse, starring Shirley MacLaine and Sammy Davis Jr and Chita Rivera this classic musical combines the best of Fossee's signature choreography, sixties pop show tunes and the psychadelic aesthetics of the late 60s. This and the Boyfriend have a lot in common, though I think the music in Sweet Charity is more solid and the contemporary setting makes it a tad edgier. MacLaine plays yet another flavor of sex worker, a dancehall hostess and paid companion who seeks to be elevated out of her life into respectability through marriage. The fiancee here is uptight and lacking in appeal and when he finally just flakes out in the final reel it's no great loss to the film.

Thief (1981)** Atypical heist film starring James Caan and Jim Belushi, directed by Miama Vice creator Michael Mann. You can see the beginnings of that iconic 80s TV show, in this movie which favors long scenes of action being edited to music with sparse dialog. Caan squares off against Tom Signorelli a local mob boss who dares to threaten Caan's wife played by Tuesday Weld.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Poor Things

What if Dr. Frankenstein's creation was a success? What if the Bride of Frankenstein's monster became an actual person? A young woman with accelerated mental development and wanted to venture out into the world to experience life and womanhood. Well that's almost exactly what this original story was and I quite enjoyed the breath of fresh air it was. We've seen the coming of age, adulthood and life dramas and comedies, but this one was more on the level of delivering not only that type of story, but also a dark comedy that would either bore you or fascinate you. There was a great deal of fantasy elements that makes for a visual feast as we explore the odyssey in which the main character embarks on. There were some thought provoking and very witty dialogue between a number of characters and they all had unique perspectives on everyday life that apply today, even though this was a period film.

Emma Stone delivers an outstanding and evolutionary performance as Bella Baxter. To see her develop mentally from child to adult inside a grown woman’s body, was done so tastefully and almost effortlessly. She captures that ever curious wonder of the outside world and all that is to be learned. Her observational presence and wonderfully blunt delivery of sometimes hilarious dialogue was exceptional. Bella's exploration into the world's beauty and horror was the type of pure character growth that was captivating and sorely missed in modern films these days. I enjoyed experiencing her journey into becoming a woman and finding her freedom. Willem Defoe was excellent as her caretaker, creator and father figure, Dr. Godwin Baxter. He was a mad scientist that truly has a tragic backstory, but he doesn't let that stop him. I loved that he had a unique look on life and his studies into true human development was fascinating. The chemistry between Godwin and Baxter was heartwarming and not your typical relationship at all. It was a paternal relationship that developed intellectually. Ramy Youssef was great as Dr. Baxter's apprentice, Max McCandles. He was a young and enthusiatic student and I loved his genuine care for Bella. He was one of the purest and gentle souls of the film. Mark Ruffalo delivers a fantastic and manic performance as the very charming and petty womanizer Duncan Wedderburn. From moment he's on screen, you get the characters' intentions and how shallow of a human is. I loved that his confidence slowly gets chipped away by Bella's unwillingness to be controlled by his overbearing nature. It was a great affair that propelled the film along and their chemistry was excellent. Jerrod Carmichael was also excellent as the realist, Harry Astley. He drops some truth bombs on Bella on the world view of the rich and the poor and how society functions as a whole. His words may hold weight, but they were conflicting nonetheless. Christopher Abbott was ruthless and despicable as Alfie Blessington. I won't spoil his character too much, but I will say that he was absolutely the disgusting version of a man in that time period and he really shows his motives quickly. He acts as the final narrative payoff to a plotline that was almost an after thought thanks to the amazing performances all around.

The score by Jerskin Fendrix was fantastic, whimsical and unconventional as Bella Baxter herself. It truly brought out the comedic tone in a number of great scenes and underscores the experimental nature of the story. I loved the score the most during the moments Bella was at sea. Speaking of which, visually this film was stunning and almost dreamlike. I am a sucker for the usage of black and white to evoke the sense of time, but here its a character. The transition to vibrant colors as Bella explores gives the film a burst of life and also informs you of the characters feelings. Director Yorgos Lanthimos has undoubtedly made one of the best films of the year and the cast all around deliver outstanding performances. This is a must watch on the big screen and I highly recommend it in Dolby for the colors. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in comments below. Thanks for reading!

[mercurygray]

Hi, could you show me to the support group for Edith Eadig addicted readers?

I've been scouring every platform for Godwin fics until I found yours on here. Masterpieces, every single snippet, and I adore their story (as you might have noticed from my spam liking and reblogging).

I noticed that in the Godwin-centric fic, he and Edith really met in secret and engaged in a real sexual relationship, but that was never (I think) in the other ficlets. I'd be super interested to read their first real sexual encounter and how their relationship transitioned from fake courtship to "booty calls" (if I got that right).

I'd also love to read more about you headcanons for both of them -- pre-show and S1&S2.

I'm not sure whether you're even currently writing for them (ignore this if you don't), but if you do, could you write for Edith during Season 2? Perhaps the moment she realises Godwin is only using Aelfwynne for his own advancement? I'm not sure whether you'll have him marry Gytha or whether Edith can spoil his plans. If she can, perhaps you could write their meeting afterwards when Godwin has realised that he was crossed and cannot help but admire Edith's skill while at the same time also being in a terrible mood for not having achieved his goal?

I'm sorry, these are three and a half requests in a trenchcoat; let me know if you want me to send them individually!

HI HELLO WELCOME. You can join @muse-oleum (and maybe @therealvikingstrash?) on this adventure. This is a very small support group.

I'll start at the end - the reason I stopped writing isn't anything bad, just that my Netflix subscription expired shortly after the show aired and (while I did see all of S2) the slightly more plotty nature of that season meant it was really hard to go back and try to write fic without having the show to reference. :(

BUT that doesn't mean I can't try to answer your questions!

So this is interesting - because in my head, and I think in what exists on paper, they've never gotten to that level of physical intimacy. They've both thought about it, but never committed to it. (I know exactly which piece gave you that idea, though.)

I had thought that after the need to deceive Aelfgifu has passed, it would be natural for them to look at the lie they just spent a few weeks selling and realize they both weren't lying and then have sex. Knowing that Godwin does eventually marry Gytha, even before S2 aired, I also had thought that Edith might be his mistress for a little while.

Season 2 presents a problem in that regard, though. For starters - Aelfwynn was new. She kind of fills in the space Edith occupied in my fanon timeline. Godwin's love life was going to be a little crowded with the both of them there. If Godwin has this plan to make himself indispensable to Canute and undermine Emma by creating suspicion around Aelfwynn, a plan that it seems like he has been sitting on for a long time, if I'm interpreting the show correctly, it seems to me that he wouldn't stop to have or start that relationship with Edith. Too many loose ends.

It felt cleaner for them to have never gotten physical, for him to say 'okay, that's one thing finished, on to the next' and leave Edith sad, frustrated, and now highly suspicious. (Emma, of course, was out of town for all of this and has no idea it happened, so she skips immediately to 'oh so Aelfwynn is a thing now' and Edith never tells her about it. If Edith had said something, it seems to me that would be one more reason for Emma to be suspicious of Godwin quicker than she is.)

I did write one or two small things for season 2, which I think you've already ready - but I think I'd have to watch the show again to figure out where Edith is during Godwin and Gytha's wedding.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY - thank you for the compliment of saying you need a support group. That means so much to me.

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Positives about Poor Things:

The costuming is gorgeous

The black and white segment was really cool, I like how it reminded me of Begotten in terms of being bizarre as fuck

I love Godwin constantly casually dropping the most wild childhood trauma out of nowhere.

The sets and colors were beautiful and rhe musical scoring was incredible.

I love Alfie’s fate because it’s befitting for him considering how he treated Victoria once then planned on treating Bella a million times worse.

I love seeing Mark Ruffalo’s character going slowly insane it was dramatic and incredible.

Negatives about Poor Things:

Unpopular opinion on Tumblr but yes the sex was fucking excessive. I didn’t need a good chunk of the movie to be devoted to Emma Stone’s tits and her orgasm face. If you cut most the sex scenes it would take nothing from the story.

Also knowing it is a movie adapted from a book adds something to look at and it is incredibly interesting with the book Bella’s time as a sex worker in the Victorian era gave her a chance to see the suffering of women and to learn about sexually transmitted diseases and decide she wants to go on to learn medicine to help women who can’t afford doctors while in the movie being a sex worker in one of the worst eras to exist as a woman was just mostly for funsies and as a way to pay for medical school. There was never a fucking downside to being a female sex worker in this movie, it’s dressed up glossier than the music video for Mr. Brightside. Bella doesn’t even mention STDs until a different character ask if she’s been tested and she says she will get tested.

That’s it.

Something that killed countless young girls and women in those types of jobs is thrown out as a one off joke and nothing more.

Which is….Gross.

Also the film only shows the suffering of humanity once. From a distance in a pretentious way that literally looks like a painting.

We see a glossy beautiful restaurant and down below are naked suffering bodies in the “slums”. We know nothing about this. Just Bella screams and cries upon seeing people suffer and says she wants to be a doctor to save said people. Which makes no real sense.

Also why did we get this form of human suffering? Why from a distance in a random pit in the middle of the ocean? Why not explain what the fuck is happening instead of fixing on the dramatically screaming white woman? The fact the movie dares to again just focus on how the wealthy white woman feels about people suffering is insane as fuck. All the better by Emma Stone winning an Oscar over the first Native American nominee and awkwardly apologizing for winning.

Which for me a lot of the issues with Poor Things comes down to it focusing solely on beauty and sex and constantly scaring itself away from darker subjects or more depressing ones.

The movie is fun but it would have been better if it didn’t occasionally pretend to actually have any sort of meaning.

[emma-ofnormandy]

Not Alone

(Emma and Canute post S2 E8. I am just continuing on with my obsession of Emma and Canute and filling in all the things we deserved to see but didn’t get.)

Read on AO3

The screams of a woman echoed within the confines of Emma’s mind. Involuntarily, her hand tightened around the parchment she had been reviewing; even lost in tedium of ledger payments and tax revenues, she could not escape the haunting outcome of her decisions.

Images that had flashed across her mind’s eye in the first few days, the waxy skin and glazed, unseeing gaze of her once trusted confidant did not bother her like it once had, but the shrill of Aelfwynn’s voice against the damp stone was not so easily chased away. The hollow shrieks had been her constant companion over the past fortnight. They were the thing that woke her at god forsaken hours of the night and the last thing she heard when she inevitably tumbled back into a fitful sleep, exhausted from the turmoil that wreaked havoc on her mind.

The experience left her stomach queasy and a chill in her blood that she could not chase away.

She imagined this was Godwin’s plan all along, to twist her up and turn her into someone she no longer recognized, someone who was so wracked with guilt and ashamed of her own image that she was just a shell of her former self. Though she would not fall into the Earl’s trap and had insured the rat knew he had not bested the cat, in the now quiet of her husband’s cabinet, with the screams silenced once more and only the parchment as company, Emma could admit that her strength wavered.

“You look tired, minn kærr.”

Emma jumped, startled by the unexpected baritone. Canute was propped lazily against the doorway, watching her intently. She could not say how long he had been there or what all he had seen, but it did not bode well for her peace of mind that the situation around Aelfwynn and Godwin plagued her so heavily that she did not notice when she was being watched.

A flimsy smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “It has been a long day.”

“It has,” he agreed, and let himself into the cabinet. The door gave a hollow click, effectively shutting out the rest of the castle, and with every step of his approach, Canute searched her face, as if taking in what she tried so hard to hide from him. He reached out and ran a thumb along the dark smudges beneath her eyes. “But these are not just from one day.”

It still surprised Emma that her husband noticed so much. While he never failed in his duties to London or Denmark, she had not expected the same attention to be paid to their personal life as well. As much as she enjoyed his attention, and appreciated the effort he put in, at times like this she wished he missed a little more.

“You have not been sleeping,” he continued, his hands grazing across her shoulders and down her arms until his hands grasped hers. Gently, as if dealing with a flighty mount, he brought her hands to his lips and kissed her ink stained fingers. “What worries you, my love.”

Uneasy, Emma withdrew her hands from his and moved towards the fire, her gaze trailing to the flames that leapt within the hearth. She was uncomfortable putting her fears into words, if only because it amounted to a show of weakness. Such an emotion was not becoming of a woman with her life experience and if it were to be known that she could be tripped up so easily by the actions of another, the carefully curated peace of the castle could be turned on its end.

But-

Emma watched her husband out of the corner of her eye. He stood, stoically, where she had left him. Unhurried and thoughtful, he waited for her to decide what move to make and the desire to tell him everything began to stir. Of all those within her circle, it was him she trusted most and there were no others that she could think of that would understand what she was dealing with.  He was no stranger to the cries of the dying or the ordering of a man’s end and yet he seemed to lose little sleep over it.

“Do they stop?” She glanced over her shoulder and met his gaze. “The screams.”

Something softened in Canute’s features and the look he gave her, one of understanding more than pity, shifted something inside Emma. For the first time, she understood that she was not alone in this self made hell.

He moved slowly across the room, but rather than pull her to him, he stood beside her, hands reaching out towards the fire to warm them.

“Eventually,” he finally said.

He did not ask why she was asking, nor did he ask for her to explain herself, but rather, he freely gave her the truth and for that she was grateful. Emma had made peace with why she had carried through with her actions and believed that her reasoning was just. Yes, she mourned the innocent life that was lost, but in the end, she would prove what she had always known, and the true villain would pay. The acceptance of her actions, however, did not seem to quiet her subconscious worry.

“And until then?”

The smile he offered her was not one of joy, but sadness. It was one that showed the years of experience that went into making ghosts, but also the skill of besting them so they could no longer invade his quiet. Silence lingered for a moment, neither of them daring to break the other's solace, and then Canute reached out and gathered her into his arms. “You just endure.”

Needing the comfort of his presence, Emma allowed herself to be held, burying her head against his neck. She inhaled his familiar scent and let it wash over like a balm to her frazzled nerves. Though she missed him while he’d fought in Denmark, it wasn’t until she had seen him standing in front of the fireplace once more that Emma had realized how much she had needed him back in London.

She burrowed her face deeper into his neck. “And if I am unable?”

“Oh, but you can.” Canute nudged her back until her face lifted and their eyes met. “People made of far less have done worse and managed to continue to carry on.”

Skeptical, Emma searched his gaze for a sign of a lie, for proof that he was simply placating her and hoping to protect her from her own decisions, but all she saw looking back was the understanding for what she was going through and the love he felt for her. The sentiment eased the ache in her stomach and warmed the chill that ran through her blood.

“You seem quite certain of my capabilities.”

He gave a raspy chuckle and kissed her forehead before pulling her close again, settling her head snuggly against his shoulder. “You have yet to prove me wrong.”

[theskyexists]

Watched poor things

Really enjoyed the sets, the (slight) surrealism, the use of colour, the cgi, the costuming and mark ruffalo's performance. MaxMcandles and Godwin were also exactly right. Emma Stone also did a good job of course. It was I suppose so perfect that I didn't find it remarkable.

Liked how the story took its time. Liked the classicness to her development as a human being - from psychopathy to hedonism to philosophy on self-improvement to empathy to societal improvement (didn't see much of it, so I suppose that said something) to science. Liked the poor and dying babies and her not being able to effect anything because the money was taken by the middleman. Liked the feminism. Liked how she beats paternalism with love. Rakishness and toxicity with emotional independence. The patriarchy with a bullet and chloroform and surgery.

Up until the second part I felt that the treatment of sex in it was....well. hm. It's clearly a feminist and sex positive statement. That a woman/ child of blank slate will simply seek out pleasure and that sex is not inherently degrading like polite society would have you believe. speak plainly about penises! Etc. it's matter of fact, nudity, sex and so to speak 'tasteful'. It actually does a good job of desensitising the viewer to nudity and sex as shocking subjects. Though what the hell she did with that apple I have no clue.

But. I got sick of it. By the end of the whole whoring arc I was like. Damn. This film has been at least half an hour of Emma Stone doing sex scenes and an hour and a half of Emma Stone talking about and dealing with sex. This is the story of a creation becoming a human being. This archetypical story and it's so continuously about sex. Can there really not be a goddamn story about a woman, an ARCHTYPICAL STORY, without it being about sex all. The. Time. I cannot say: this would never have been the case if it had been about a baby grafted into a man's body. Because that is many of the points in the film, and i agree with them. But i am so sick of that. And I am sick of how the film didn't try anything else. And because it is an ARCHTYPICAL story, and there are no other female sexualities really on screen... The story necessitated a super high libido from Bella and for her to be beautiful and it does interesting things with that. But I also resent that. Resent that choice, resent how singular the depiction of a woman's sexuality and resultant statements on it are etc. but still I agree with the statements. But I hate and despise how endlessly sexual(ised) my (archtypical) reflections are.

When she stood still underneath the balcony listening to that woman sing and play the guitar in Lisbon I thought: ah. Art. An essential human pursuit. And the first woman she's ever actually noticed.

But nothing came of it.

[borgialucrezia]

On one hand, I wasn’t thrilled with Emma’s ending because it made it seemed like she never really loved Cnut but instead loved the power he gave her (maybe I’m interpreting it wrong though since I binge watched it back to back right after pulling an all-nighter. Loved to hear your thoughts on it). On the other, Harefoot was freaking gorgeous and was completely on board with Emma (much to Godwin’s anger) and they would make a smoking couple. Honestly after being married so young to her first husband who was so much older, Emma has earned the right to go full MILF and manipulate her step-son. Plus, ignoring history, she could use her power over him to her advantage to get him to name of her son’s his heir until he has a child of his own

alright i gotta be honest with you, i really loved emma's ending though! as much as she enjoyed the fact that cnut gave her power, she genuinely did love him. these two aspects of her character can co-exist! i actually cried when he told her that she brought him joy, and she replied that he brought her joy as well...

also, making two funerals (the first one being the official christian burial and the second one a viking funeral only attended by his viking warriors) for cnut just shows how much she cherished him by honoring his viking legacy and his place as england's first viking king.

but she, of course, moved on because she's an emotionally powerful, independent force of a woman. and seeing her pulling up her cunning game on harefoot was so on-brand of her!! godwin tried to get her sidelined but she's about to keep her position by using harefoot's emotions and potential feelings for her so she can't be seized, and i respect that.

i'm sure even godwin respects her hustle as well at this point because, if anything, both emma and godwin share those manipulative and intelligent braincells as they read each other's minds while trying to outwit each other lol. anyway, great show, amazing characters, phenomenal dynamics and hot people. 10/10 no notes <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

I'm only halfway through s2 of vikings: valhalla but I'm so glad they separated harald and freydis because these 2 didn't have any chemistry, anytime they were together on screen it was always boring land to me. And I could say the same for leif and his dead girlfriend from season 1 that they tried to convince me he was super in love with when she was so forgettable I couldn't even remember her name

Lol her name was Liv and I liked her just fine but she definitely didn’t do anything especially exceptional. I think that you could make an argument for her representing like…. Leif feeling like he’s a flop pagan Viking, which he kind of is, but yeah she was not this grand love.

The thing that has always been an issue with this franchise is building love stories over time. Even when they have pairings with a compelling hook and chemistry between the actors, they don't allocate a lot of story time to them, and the actors have to fill in the gaps--which means that when the writers take sudden turns, it's even more jarring. Take Rollo and Gisla, a ship I think was fairly popular, that actually did have a multi-episode "falling in love" arc that most of the show's ships didn't get, with actors that had chemistry. She basically hated him until suddenly she didn't and they fucked like bunnies, and it was fine because a lot of people, myself included, liked them--but then a time jump happened and they had huge issues and it was like "oh, this is sudden".

Now, Michael Hirst (who I think...... is prone to this kind of relationship writing or lack thereof) is not as directly involved in the new show. I think he's largely involved in a capacity wherein he came up with the concept, but it's not really something he guides; at least, that was the case last I checked. But I think you see his fingertips in the relationship writing. When you've got a good hook and chemistry, you can make it work--Leif and Mariam, I found really charming because of chemistry, and because I liked Leif, who seems to be very torn about his place in the world and his relationships with people who have big ambitions and opposing religious stances (Freydis as a pagan and Harald as a Christian), forming this romance with this learned woman who helped him grow. Even if it's like, oh wow, Leif, who is mourning a woman, is now falling in love with a woman who's dying from the outset lol. It's Vikings. Women Big Dying.

And I think this approach also works pretty well with Emma and Canute, who really don't have a lot of screentime together... But the actors have chemistry and their entire bond is really compelling. They're both plotters and schemers and politicians, and he's super into her big brain while having a different approach to governing.

I actuallllly really like the romantic alternative they set up for Harald in season 2, even though there was way less screentime devoted to development than I'd like. I loved where it ended in the season (what a hook) and it made way more sense for him, imo, than Harald and Freydis.

Like, I have no idea why Harald is into Freydis. She really doesn't seem to align with his vision (and at the end of the day, Harald is all self-centered ambition and we love that for him) and she has like... zero respect for his religion. And don't get me wrong, I am not saying "Christians good", but the show's huge "pagans good, Christians bad" thing is.... boring lol. Like, Freydis really hates Christians, Harald is a Christian, and like. She's right in the premiere. They should just stop.

I don't get Freydis as a character at all. The performance doesn't do it for me, to be honest, and she's basically incredibly disconnected from EVERYONE in the main cast. Like, yeah, the England arc is disconnected from the BIG ARC (which is Harald and Leif) but.... There's way less time devoted to it than there is to Freydis, and there are several established mains involved--Emma, Godwin, and to a lesser extent Canute. Whereas Freydis was mostly on her own last season, with characters who really didn't end up carrying over to this one with her, and this season they basically had to make people up to interact with her. And the only one I cared about was Bradley James, who SOLD EVERY DAMN LINE LOL.

And the show did such a NOTICEABLE 180 in s2 (which I definitely enjoyed) versus the end of s1. You end s2 with Leif and Harald split and Harald with Freydis. Suddenly, by the end of the s2 finale, Harald and Freydis are big broken up, and Leif and Harald are back together and have an entire BRO ROAD TRIP the whole season, during which Harald is set up with another woman who I suspect will be pretty important to his ambitions. Yes, Freydis has Harald's baby, but I'm 90% sure that this was largely because the show super wants a kid with Harald and Leif's DNA in it.

Like, clearly Freydis was written to be a Lagertha 2.0, and as much as I hated Lagertha by the end of the original series, she was a very popular character and basically the face of the show for much of its time post-Travis Fimmel. I feeeel like they basically have to have that locked in so that they can promote their "ooh woman roar shield maiden rah rah" bullshit that got them viewers with the first show... But they know Freydis individually didn't play as well for viewers in the first season as Harald and Leif, lol. They know the thing that's most fun about this show is watching This Hot Guy Who Thinks He's Kinda A Big Deal and His Zen Friend Who Somehow Is Going Along With This have zany adventure with wacky hijinks. Like, Leif and Harald will never kiss, because Vikings, but the show is investing more time and development into that relationship than any canonical romantic relationship. Much like... some other... homoerotic relationships... on the original show... pick one of 500.

(Sidebar: I like Emma and Canute together a lot, but I also think that Emma and Godwin have a similar deal going on where they don't canonically have a romantic thing happening, but because they are not romantic the show actually devotes more time to their, in this case contentious relationship, so you wanna see them kiss. And Godwin has fabulous chemistry with Emma AND Canute, and Emma and Canute have chemistry, so it's like whenever they're all together I wait for Canute to be like "you guys fight so much, you know how we can resolve this?" before pushing their faces together. Canute seems like the type of guy who'd initiate a threesome that way.)

Anyway, I really enjoyed s2 but that was something I noticed a lot. Freydis basically having an arc you could totally fast-forward through without missing anything related to the main plot (again)... While Leif and Harald have the meat of the story. She's supposed to be as important as them, but I don't think the writers have their hearts in it with her. So she's basically a total cypher. She's the Keeper of the Faith, and it's like? Cool? Harald is like, going to be an actual king and Leif is gonna discover America, but they need a Strong Viking Woman because they can't let Emma be the Strong Woman rep because she's not a viking and also wears dresses a lot, which means she is not actually strong.

Also, everyone who is against Freydis needs to be a super legit bad person because she gets to be Cool and Good, whereas Emma must be Cool and Treacherous. Because she does not fight with a sword (straightforward and masculine), she fights with politics and her brain, which are bad (subversive and feminine). Though I really had fun with Emma's arc this season and I don't think they were like... trying to make us hate her the way they used to try to make us hate Aslaug, it was kinda funny to watch the contrast.

Anyway. Bring on season 3 and for the love of God, continue to lean in to with Leif and Harald shenanigans versus Freydis like. Midsommar singing.

[gudvina]

The sea fig, ch. II, Adela.

(second chapter <3)

The sun was setting when Adelaide returned to her room. It had been a week since she first stepped into her aunt’s homestead, and she was still adjusting to how different London was to her homeland. The room was still showered with remnants of twilight, brightened by the light green of the walls. It didn’t have much furniture; by the south side was a bed, supplied with a swan feathered mattress and pillows and furred covers that contrasted nicely with the wood of the headboard. A wardrobe stood by the west well, and where the floor raised in a platform sat a simple bathtub. The north side held most of the windows, and a desk with a looking glass and some parchment alongside it. Though it was different from her room in Normandy, she enjoyed how simple it was.

Had she been in Normandy she would have lulled herself to sleep listening to the crashing waves, or the sounds of the city filling the air. London wasn’t much different, admittedly. While during the day it seemed dull and uninteresting, when darkness set its rule and the moon showed her face the city lit up. The alehouses represented much of the night’s entertainment, and the bustling sounds reached her windows, leaving her longing for something other than the stillness of the castle.

Her aunt and her ladies in waiting provided a good distraction, and quickly she had sparked up a friendship with Gytha, with which she spent the nights in pleasant conversation. Sometimes they were joined by  Aelfwynn, though she appeared busier than Gytha.

Adela undressed and put on her nightgown, waiting for Gytha’s company as she brushed her hair by the desk. After a few minutes of silence finally the door opened, and she smiled as she saw Gytha enter her room.

“I am sorry if I couldn’t wait for you, I just needed to get out of that dress”.

Gytha let out a soft chuckle as she closed the door and she sat on her bed, her blonde hair now goldened by the candle’s lights.

“I imagined, sorry if I was late, your aunt needed me and Aelfwynn to sort out some fabrics.”

In a moment Gytha and Adela were deep in conversation, talking about each other and their lives until then. Gytha had much to tell about Denmark, how different it was from England and its people, and Adela in return talked about Normandy and how different they were from Frankia as a whole, how her people lived in relative peace and convivence.

“Of course it isn’t all sunshine, admittedly many Frankish Lords dislike us, but we also have some powerful allies like our cousins in Aquitaine”.

“Oh, so I guess there are Earls like Godwin everywhere”.

Adelaide’s interest was sparked when Gytha mentioned that name, and she couldn’t help but want to satisfy her curiosity.

“Isn’t he the right hand of the Queen and King alike?”

Gytha scrunched up her nose, shaking her head. “He certainly plays the part. He does his job well, but never trust him too much”.

Adela’s mind went back to something her Aunt Maude once told her. It was about her grandfather’s father: William Longsword. He had been a good ruler, but too trusting of the other. That was his demise.

Gytha suddenly shifted and looked at her with a glimmer in her eyes.

“You ask an awful lot of questions, but never tell anything about yourself. All this talk of Normandy won’t fool me! Now you shall tell me about this Duke of Lyonnaise”.

Adela laughed a little and shrugged, not very entertained by the tale of the less amusing nuisance in all of Frankia.

“There is not much to tell, he is uninteresting but a good party. There is a man who I like much more, the Duke of Blois. But my family dislikes his, and my father would not have that union.”

“Did you love him?”

“No, I wouldn’t say I did. I just liked him far better. It wouldn’t be wise for a woman such as me or you to do more than like any man”.

“And yet Queen Emma and my uncle seem to have found more than just liking in each other”

“You are not wrong. But that’s rare, and the one exception that confirms the rule.”

“And don’t you hope to have… something more?”

Adelaide moved to answer but stopped herself. She had never thought about something more; yes, she had many examples in her family of people who married and loved each other, namely her forebearers Duke Rollo and Princess Gisla. She had been married to him by her father to form an alliance, and had fallen so deeply in love with each other that many Norman tales and songs still told of their love and how beneficial that union had been for both Normandy and each other. Their son William Longsword had found love in both his first wife Sprota and then Liuthgarda, who responded in treachery. Her grandfather Richard the Fearless had loved her grandmother Gunnora, and then his many mistresses, with which he had produced some of her uncles. And her parents themselves were very happy with each other. Despite coming from a line of people who had found love in their partners, that something more wasn’t what she saw in her life. Since she was a girl, she had been educated in all matters regarding the politics of her lands as was Norman costume. Her greatest desire had always been to form a beneficial alliance for Normandy, and maybe marry in the confines of Frankia, as to not stray away from her beloved Rouen.

Gytha’s question wasn’t one she had ever considered, that something more for her looked more like being fortunate to find a man who’d allow her to rule beside him whatever land would welcome her as its own. She found herself grow uncomfortable, her guts stirring for a question that had been innocent and yet had cracked a chasm where she had always found sure footing.

“I don’t know what’s more, Gytha. It isn’t in me. My Aunt was kissed by fortune, but I have never thought of more and I… don’t even know if I want it”.

Gytha looked at her with a knowing look, and smiled a little.

“Let me tell you, you resemble a lot your aunt when you make that face”.

They ended up giggling and changing subject, concentrating in lighter chatter. Adela was grateful to have Gytha with her, a friend with which she could be herself and not be judged as too harsh to be ladylike. Maybe her exposure to her aunt as her lady in waiting made it easier, or the fact that she was a Dane, but she didn’t seem to mind Adela’s sharp words and observation. And she genuinely liked Gytha, who was fun and gentle and kind.

When it was late enough they realized it was time to retire, and though they didn’t want to put a stop to their fun it was time to rest. They were exchanging the last few words before Gytha’s exit when a sound caught their attention.

They stopped talking and realized it came from the city. It was the scream of a woman, a horrifying wail that made Gytha and Adelaide rush to the window and open it. A few guards were already covering the area, and they couldn’t see what was happening behind the entrance arch that sheltered them from the view. In a mix of curiosity and fear the two made for the door so they could at the very least ask the guards some informations, when outside their corridor they met Earl Godwin.

“Ladies, stay in the room and do not get out for any reason. If in need of anything I will place guards outside your doors, though now I must hurry and call Queen Emma”.

Gytha nodded and moved to close the door, but Adela prevented it by holding the door in it’s place.

“What is happening?”

Earl Godwin was taken aback by her questioning, recognizing in her the same mannerisms he had only seen in the Queen before now.

“The Dane priest Cynleaf was killed; we are assuming the attack was provoked by another Dane in the alehouse”.

Adela could sense Gytha gasp and tense behind her, and soon the Earl left them. They ended up spending the night together in Adela’s room, with guards outside the door and the chaos of the city muffled by the windows now closed.

Gytha had succumbed to sleep almost instantly, leaving Adela alone with her thoughts. Before she fell asleep, her agitated mind kept circling between the events of the night and Gytha’s words.

He certainly plays the part.

[ancientcitylullaby]

I said I wasn’t gonna do this but here I am anyway here’s my live reactions to Vikings Valhalla Season 2 obviously spoilers ahead

Olaf what the FUCK that’s your baby brother

MAGNUS BABYYYYYYY WE GET TO SEE BABY MAGGIE

I love Freydis so much

Leif and Harald striking off together 😩

Hm Godwin blinding someone already. won’t be the last time

I’m about to simp for Yaroslav

LEIF SAVES HARALDS DUMBASS LIFE GOD HE CARES ABOUT HIM

THEYRE GOING TO CONSTANTINOPLE AYYY

If Olaf and Aelfgifu fuck I’m gonna throw my laptop out the window

Olaf stop being WEIRD you did not just compare yourself to a dog and try to make it sexy

Where the fuck are Alfie and Eddie

Is Harthacnut born yet

Godwin crusty as usual I hate him

Is Harald smoking literal crack why is he constantly like this

Well. Apparently Leif is the one smoking shit

Oh god his ass is gonna fall off the roof

Hi my names Leif I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Hmm. Not a fan of slave boat guy

Are they fucking racist in uppsala 2.0

Are they doing the Viking heritage thing please stop 💀

Why is everyone here being awful all of a sudden

Who is this blind dude

Godwin suck a fat dick for me why don’t you

Fucking burn his ass Freydis

Did Aelfwynn have a thing with that guy??????? Why she upset?

Nvm that’s her brother oof

Is Gytha Godwin’s future wife

Leif’s two brain cells smoking rn

All aboard the bitchboat

Harald if you don’t shut the fuck up

Is there someone stowed away? Oh. The slaves. Hm :/

“I’m reinventing myself”

“Yes, I see. As what.?”

Yaroslav is Harald’s new dad

“WHAT COULD GO WRONG” YAROSLAV IS SO PERFECT

Emma that is such a lesbian moment

I throw up in my mouth everytime godwin sucks that girls face

I refuse to believe no animals messed with those bones out in the god damn woods

Emma went from hot to scary in .2seconds

Aelfwynn girl you’re too good for that fuckass

EMMA THE STONE COLD BITCH FUCK YES

I love Kurya I wanna kiss him

I love everyone on this ship except that fuckwad slaver

EW OLAF FUCKED

that took like .2 days

VITOMIR

I’m glad the fucking slaver died

I wanna fuck Kurya even more

If anything happens to baby Harald I’m killing everyone and then myself

Leif needs to stop chasing girls who are gonna die

Olaf who are you so insane

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE PECHENEG TITTY BARBS

IF KURYA DIES IM RIOTING

KURYAAA

brb gonna fucking cry he was so cute

Is this the fucking pope come to visit

Olaf stop being so manipulative omfg

MARIAM

TAKE CARE OF HIM FOR ME FUCKJKKK

EUGH GODWINS WEDDING

I want a medieval wedding

“I have great expectations of your children” fuck me in the shit balls fuck….

SHE GAVE HIM HER LITTLE HOUSE NOOOO

Emma gave her the fucking dead dude ring didn’t she

IS GODWIN GOING TO GET FUCKING TOPPED LMAAAAAOOOOOO

I really wanna see Godwin get pegged

Like I hate him but maybe it would fucking loosen him up a bit

Harald if you would stop being a whore for two seconds

Yoooooo Freydis “and are all these men baptized?” I got fucking chills

OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE SKEWERED HIM

Svein is such a literal infant

The crucifix imagery is *chefs kiss* god and he does become a martyr fuckkk

ROMYS HERE THE BYZANTINES ARE HERE

Short king

Not the Justinian fit

WHAT?!!! HIS EMPRESS?!!!

ROMANOS ISN’T EVEN THE EMPEROR BY BLOOD

WHERE THE FUCK IS ZOE

WHERE IS SHE WHERE IS MY BYZANTINE MELODRAMA WHERE IS MY QUEEN

WILL WE FUCKING GET JOHN

LEIF HARALD SHOULDER TOUCH ON THE WAY TO COCKSTANTINOPLE

I CANT WAIT TO SEE BYZANTIUM

I need season 3 yesterday 8 episode seasons is nowhere near enough bruh 😭

[ivarthebadbitch]

How are those lines on your gif achieved? I love the effect it gives your gifs

hey, thanks! it's really not difficult; there are just two main tools you need (in photopea, at least--if you're working in photoshop or some other program it's going to be different). let's do a quick little tutorial.

first, you need two gifs. we'll do emma for this one because she's hot. get all your coloring/resizing/sharpening stuff done first. then in your first gif, make a long and skinny line with your line tool or rectangle tool (but I like rectangle because you can set both length and width). be sure to set it as a new layer. I used the "fixed size" option and made a chunky little line (5 px wide) to make it more obvious, but for the emma/godwin set the lines (well, rectangles) are 1 px wide.

next you'll want to position your line so you can align it with the ine you'll be making for second gif. For this, you'll want to be in your move tool. check the box that says "distances" at the top. this will show you the exact position of your line so you don't have to guess. I positioned the line 200 pixels from the left side of the gif and 335 pixels from the right like so:

now you do the same thing with your second gif, and position it so the line on the second gif has the same alignment as the first:

and...that's it! put the two together and there you have it:

[leam1983]

Poor Things - Thoughts

It's interesting how a fundamentally Feminist and Humanist review of Mary Shelley's classic tale of scientific hubris is being interpreted by some of the people of the feminine persuasion I happen to know who either read Alasdair Gray's novel or watched the 2023 Emma Stone movie.

On the one hand, you've got the Positivist girlies saying that if you were to plant a baby's brain in the body of a full-grown woman and allowed it to mature into a woman completely removed from the social codes related to shame or self-moderation - and especially if said woman were as smart as her Frankenstein-esque creator - it makes sense for her to approach sex with a kind of detached and clinical view. There's precisely one scene in all of the movie and book alike where Bella Baxter lets herself have sex with no intellectual motive involved - and it's with a female partner. The rest of the time, either she's before the story subverts her "Born Sexy Yesterday" trope or she's well after it. Her physicality is, in essence, either a source of enjoyment or of intense intellectual focus, with no in-betweens.

Then there's the Negative crowd that sees a woman-child surrounded by honestly skeevy men, with only two of them showing that honest intellectualism seemingly elevates your average man above his carnal depredations. Max McCandles is the long-suffering fiancé who comes to love Bella for who she is, at all times throughout her development, and then there's Godwin Baxter, the variably literal precursor to Bella who in the book starts out wanting to marry his creation and in the movie never goes beyond paternal affection.

If anything, Poor Things makes it obvious that a good man doesn't need much of a narrative framework. It's cads like Duncan Wedderburn or monsters like Alfie that need minutes set aside to show how ridiculously, even laughably evil they can be.