#i love you carniverous lesbian.

[fullwets]

HELP 😭

[a-random-person-on-the-interent]

CALLING ALL PEOPLE WHO DISLIKE THE LOST CITIES AND THINK THEY'RE SHIT

we need to make like a discord or something to talk about it, or like write essays which I think I'm planning on doing, because the lost cities is shit, I feel very strongly about this as a disabled person, and you might ask why would me being disabled have anything to do with it, EUGENICS and the Talentless and even how disabled people are treated by the narrative. Because didn't Keefe descripe feeling talentless people as being hollow and not quite complete, WHICH IS WHAT DISABLED PEOPLE (or at least people with Autism like myself) HAVE BEEN CALLED FOR YEARS. I really want a charcter to have been born with a disability (ADHD, ASD, EDS, down syndrome, Dyslexia, dysgraphia, ect) or for the series to recognize that being talentless is having a disability or even the series to recongize mental health conditions (PTSD, BPD, Depression Schizoprenia, delusions) like Sophie has all the symptoms for PTSD, and one could argue she's dyslexic with her not being able to read runes. Also back to the eugenics talk, eugenics in history have been useally used on disabled people, like myself. There are no LGBTQ characters which can be fine, I'd like some but it's not a big problem expect... EUGENICS. the elves soiciety is based on Eugenics meaning that if someone was gay or lesbian or aroace, they probably would be scorned if not it being banned to be gay or lesbian. What about trans people? well the lost cities seem to function on that they are perfect the way they're born, and if one is not born perfect (Like the talentless) you are socially exiled. The susicde rates must be massive there, but I doubt anyone will talk about them because they'll be shamed.

Let's not even get into Exile cause that is just Touture, and I'm not kidding solitary confine meant is torture, fintans cell tourture, I'm not saying it isn't effective cause it is. but the elves claim to be morally superior to humans than do that. Memory breaks would also count as tourture as you are breaking someones mind till they are practically dead. And we saw how that effected Aladin. What about the white room tourture they had Vesperia be in for centuries. there politcal system is fucked too, Cause a friendship is just as important as a romantic relationship so if they wanted them to be completey unbiased the councliers shouldn't be allowed to have friends or family, and that doesn't stop the heart from from falling in love with someone and giving them special treatment.

I think anyone with half a brain could tell you that feeding carniverous animals strickly vegan diet is bad, so let's move on to the education system and I'm 90% sure that elves are just lying about how much they helped humans, like I'm 100% sure that Mr. Forkle only thinks he inspired Loki, cause if you know any myths about him you'd know they are not similar at all well maybe aside from the shapeshifting like didn't at one point they say they helped them discover electicity, like eceletricity was ORGINALLY discovered in 600 BCE they at that time were probbaly still living among humans, like I'm sorry but you guys probbaly didn't help with anything and might've actually prolonged the process because you thought you knew better. and y'know what they probbaly haven't even gotten to the center of the earth yet which is 2,9000 KM down, but back to education, it's so heavily bias, that all the other speices that aren't elves are like what the fuck is this, this isn't how it happened, so my best guess is that it's full of misinformation. Y'know what I should make a skit of, "If I was in the lost cities"

[replicarters]

hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, final

part 1 || part 2

happy easter! let's welcome it with BLOOD

the good thing about last time is that it was very gay. the bad thing about last time is that we've established the villain can and will tear the entirety of people's skin from their bodies, and then consume them as dinner. but this movie is a gay love story now, and god willing, there will be no dead lesbians by the end of it. there will be a lot of other dead people, sure. but hopefully no dead lesbians.

okay joey's girlfriend is officially in the hands of pj or jp or whatever the fuck this total douche's name was.

and he is very, very eager to get her eaten by his new carniverous friend

but before that, we have to jump back to dream vietnam, just the place everybody wants to be.

except now there's someone else here with an Accent and he's all "joeyyyyy wassup girl". oh my gosh who could it be!

tons of soldiers blow up and die and joey wakes up screaming

now let me tell you a movie that scares the bajeezus out of me: it's poltergeist. i don't think this movie will become that so i'll just take this shot at face value.

okay except for that it's like... making scary noises. you remember the episode of x-files where scully heard voices in the tv and unscrewed all her light bulbs? it's those noises, but much more loud and scratchy and unnerving.

motherfucker, get out of there! i'm going to set this television on fire.

he says YOU HAVE TO HELP ME and then goes away again. help you with what? consuming kid cuisines where the chicken nuggets are made out of human thigh meat?

jp is in here DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN GAY LOVE talking smack about joey while terri cries. god i hope jp gets eaten at the end i hope it so bad.

oh but wait! terri suddenly exclaims "SHE WOULDN'T" while she sobs, and blames herself for things that haven't even happened. honey :( joey hasn't gone anywhere and she's going to come and save you THIS I BELIEVE.

"come hug me baby, but do it over here next to the statue."

"mmmm come hug me over here"

"no baby hugs are way better next to grotesque works of art~"

oh no and then he says "come to daddy" shlfkhld NO

oh no oh no terri gets up!! no!! i bite my nails that i painstakingly regrew this past week.

AHHH HE'S AWAKE AND HE HUNGERS. at the very last second terri decides she doesn't want to do a hug, but jp grabs her by her very sparkly shirt and pinhead opens wide for another nutritious meal.

then terri breaks out brass fucking knuckles oh hell yeah girl, and she socks jp right in his smug, awful, ugly face

terri runs to the door but pinhead yells WWWAAAAIIITTTT. "why run away~?" he says. you can come live in my stone stomach with all the other people i've eaten. it's cool. it's progressive. it's modern art.

lmao oh my god, then pinhead, ever the hungry man, offers terri the chance to off jp in exchange for ~dreams~.

i mean, she's considering it, and i would too if all i had to do to unlock a world of dreams was toss some loser into a living pincushion's gaping maw.

well, he's a little heavy. where are those convenient chains right about now?

oh, there they are. holy shit, though, terri really went for it.

bye byeeeeeee! i didn't even have to wait until the end of the movie for jp's demise! this is AWESOME.

jp doesn't get eaten so much as he gets, like, giant nails driven through his head or something, and then pinhead yells a lot and the statue gets all crusty with bloooood.

oh and then it... pees? i don't know what's going on, some goop comes out of nowhere and dribbles all over.

ooh, that's... euugh...

gross flesh bombs just... explode from it. just gunk dropping off of it all over the place, smoking piles of gunk. it's icky.

oh that's... that's not good...

"terri. we are going to open the local spirit halloween store together... 6 months early!!!"

poor joey isn't getting any sleep, there's old-timey music coming from somewhere and all the lights are doing weird glows. also this apartment is fucking sweet as hell, how does she live here.

she opens a glowing closet, which, she has balls of steel to be doing that. but i guess if all your shit is glowing in your house at 3 am and you have 40s on 4 playing out of nowhere, you'd probably want to see what was up.

there really was a literal radio just sitting in the closet. so she takes it out and puts it on a table.

she turns some dials on it and then mr. video starts telling her to do stuff, noooooope buddy i need to know your motivations my dude, i need to know what you're all about.

maybe don't follow directions from mr. video/radio/dreamland. he tells her to go to the window which i guess is fine enough? but what's she gonna see out there... nnnn....

okay, this guy's just out here chilling. who are you now???

it's no problem for joey "balls of steel" summerskill, who is going for it. all in, baby! literally all in, her whole body in, to... the... window.

she ends up on the other side of this darksided cs lewis wardrobe intact.

look at this princess serenity dress she wears to bed every night, love it.

"who the fuck are you and why won't you let me sleep"

"hold up... gotta stare at the cube." this guy has the same hairline recession as michael eddington.

"i just walked into madness for you!" that's really what she says and i'm tickled by it. girl knows what fuck is up. it's all insane. least this guy can do is pay attention!

uh oh what's this now, what's this indiana jonesing over here.

joey goes for it, because she's a very brave girl, and now it's vietnam time again.

"joey, how kind of you to come." literally her alternative was watching you stare at the cube. you better start explaining some shit!

well he doesn't start explaining anything, just slinks away behind the ridge. joey follows him, looking at all the nasty soldier corpses.

"you have to help me; i don't understand." ME! i don't get any of this. dump some info on me, mr. video!

"you have to help me," mr. video says. buddy, you better be, like, the misplaced sealant on pinhead, otherwise i'm out.

he takes off his hat and he says his name Was elliot spencer.

AND THEN JOEY INTRODUCES HERSELF AND SHAKES HIS HAND i'm laughing. TOO PURE. "hi dead man who won't leave me alone nice to meet you."

he says she's brave, which is true! and says "you've probably never shaken hands with a ghost before." i mean PROBABLY NOT.

well she says "ummm captain spencer, what the hell is going on???"

"hell is exactly what is going on." ahhhhh. because it's been raised! we hell now.

they set off for a walk, a nice stroll through what spencer the ghost says is the limbo between heaven and hell. he says he can't do squat in the real world, but joey can.

"there is a monster out there, joey, and it's me." eeeeep.

anyway so he's pinhead because war is hell, and he originally opened the box and got mad chainz, yo. stopping him will require "great courage".

joey doesn't know if she has that, but spencer is like, "girl, you just walked through a goddamn solid window to talk to me, you're fine."

the cube is the gateway to hell and pinhead wants it, and spencer says joey has to let him come for it. aw helllllllllll no! eff that, why can't she just drop the cube in a volcano or something?

"but what if he takes the box from me before i can-"

"he can't take it, it must be given to him." oh dear so he's going to try to persuade her to give him the box. PERSUADE HER LIKE HE PERSUADED TERRI TO LET HIM EAT JP? just great. i have large worries.

let's have a little party pitstop.

my favorite baby is here, and it sTARTS MOVING AHHHHHHHHHHH HELL N O

OH GOD EVERYTHING IS MOVING

and then there's an explosion

and H E  C O M E S

everybody goes screaming and running and chains start flying. a guy gets his hand cut and his palm spurts blood LIKE A FOUNTAIN just like i've been expecting this whole time. another guy gets a stick of wood through him.

this girl's drink comes to life and also she's still sitting at a table while the entire place is in a full-on panic.

the bubble becomes a pinhead head, which then becomes a huge dagger of ice that impales the girl in the mouth. i don't know, i'm laughing at that one. let this be a lesson to us all: if, while in a club, madness begins all around you, just run. leave your $12 drink. it's not worth it.

the sleazy bartender gets barb wired. a girl gets her face torn. pinhead cackles in the background.

here's my thing: how is joey going to fight all this shit? SHE'S JUST ONE PERSON and pinhead can do all this?! man... i have concerns...!

more killing! you know what's going to happen to the dj, don't you?

weeeeeeee! maiming!

pinhead starts locking doors. people start getting chains to their faces. and their necks. and through them, while other people get them through their faces behind them. just all-around a delight for everyone.

there's one last door that's not shut, but do you really think it's going to stay open?

NOPE! you're in pinhead's funhouse now!

and as the whipping of the chains grows louder, and the screaming dies down, blood flows out under the door.

literally. how is joey going to win this thing.

no sleep for joey as she wakes up, again, to news reports of a "catastrophe" at the boiler room. that sure is one way to put it. joey, poor sweet innocent brave joey, gets her ass dressed and calls grandpa cameraman.

oh boy. it's time. it's time for joey to bring the pain to a very bad man, armed with nothing but that box against his MYRIAD OF SPOOKY POWERS. I HAVE EXTREME CONCERNS! that's all i'm saying!

mmmmmm and the tv was unplugged the whole time. CONCERNS RATCHETING UP A FEW MORE LEVELS.

it's raining, it's pouring, that door up there's fuckin opening on its own. grandpa's car was outside but grandpa was not in the car oh god he is almost certainly mutilated by now.

and we got some folks HANGING AROUND............................

yeah there's bodies everywhere and joey's scared out of her mind. PROTECT THIS POOR BABY.

joey holds onto the cube for dear life, because SOME GHOST thought it was a GOOD IDEA to send a 27 year old mortal human in to fight a needle-faced hell man with NOTHING MORE THAN A BOX.

it's gross, she's crying, there are just... so many bodies. she's looking around trying to find grandpa, growing increasingly more distraught as she sees, you know, severed heads and stuff. lmao and there's one guy with about 15 billiard balls stuffed into his dead maw, which i found pretty comical.

welp joey, who is absolutely going to have nightmares for the rest of her living days, just screams out for grandpa, but i think she and i both know he's not going to answer. oh, grandpa, what horrible thing has happened to you?

joey goes farther in and some lights come on

another doorway beckons

and inside, it's like a banquet hall of... terribleness. i don't have any words left to describe all this, my goodness. and joey's still crying. i don't blame her. she came all the way the fuck in here instead of getting on the first plane to the other side of the world like i definitely would have, she deserves to let some tears out.

oh, and grandpa?

is very dead, with his head replaced by a camera.

ohhhhh everything is beyond misery

pinhead appears, waxing poetic, blah blah death and stuff. suffering. humanity's darkness, whatever.

TAKE HIM DOWN, GIRL. SEAL HIM UP.

"mmmm gimme my box kiddo"

naw she's not here for that, so pinhead starts yelling "DON'T DEBATE WITH ME, GIRL. JUST COME HERE AND DIE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE OPTION OF DOING IT QUICKLY."

"you're gonna have to come and get me, you ugly fuck." OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

IT BEGINS

now with the knowledge that pinhead really can't touch that box unless he's given the box, joey takes off and almost gets run over by a cab outside.

cab hits a pole instead but listen, bud, your sacrifice is duly noted. hell's getting stopped tonight, bro! if you live, you'll get to see it!

then the pole falls over, knocks out all sorts of shit, and the cab lights on fire.

uh oh pinhead's doing pinhead stuff. WILL THE CUBE PROTECT AGAINST ELECTROCUTION?

oh my good god then pinhead sets off a fire hydrant and once the water is everywhere, where do you think he puts these nice cables?  C O N C E R N S

pinhead's impromptu death river comes barrelling down the street, but joey gets up on the sidewalk and the water sluices harmlessly by. phew.

except for now chains are coming out of the sewer. nnnnggggaaaahhhhh!! they do get her a little bit! me scream!

more stuff blows up! i'm very tense! joey keeps running. the sewer's blowing up, every electric thing is blowing up, THE MANHOLE LID comes spinning at joey's face but she dodges it. everywhere, EVERY LITERAL PLACE SHE GOES, stuff blows up and is on fire.

"what the fuuuuuuck where's the part where i get to go home and live a peaceful life"

"a peaceful life where all my friends are dead, and this place is fucked." hey... hey where's terri...? did... did she died...?

eeeep you're on pinhead camera! KEEP RUNNING

OH NO it's grandpa, and he's a weird camera borg now :(

oh joey honey i love you sweet girl please hang in there

"HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HE DID TO ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH," not grandpa anymore roars. "HAVE YOU SEEN?"

then all the tvs blow up

then some guy???? who is just walking around out here????? joey runs into him and screams at him to run, but he's all, "hey baby where you going? everything's cool." oh YEAH, EVERYTHING'S REAL COOL.

so that guy dies when borg grandpa spears his eye camera through his head.

here comes pinhead, slinking out of the shadows.

just in case you forgot, this is the general state of things. not great. could be better.

oh there's more dead borg corpses walking around, too. that's a different one over there; it's cd head from the club.

L E T ' S   J A M   T O    T   S W I F T

when is enough enough, pinhead?!

it's never enough. guess what walks out of that explosion, it's another borg corpse.

whoaaaa and this one spits fire. SURELY PINHEAD HAS PROVEN HIS POINT BY NOW.

then the cops roll in, and joey again implores them to just fucking run. they don't.

one of the cops gets gasoline on him, and if you might recall (joey does), one of the dead borgs breathes fire.

joey wisely does not stick around for this, leaving the cops to their piping hot demise.

what now? now joey ducks into a church and just collapses. same.

you better be a priest, sir.

"father there's an awful lot of sinning going on outside, my only friend is a killer zombie, and new york is in general aflame."

this idiot priest tries to tell joey demons aren't real. haha! dude! you've missed several updates.

several. updates.

there he is, the man himself.

and then, oh my god, lol:

"then what the fuck is That." shdfklshlkfhs

leeeet's go if you don't want to die!

hey if you thought stuff was done exploding, you were wrong.

come on, that is ripe for becoming a deadly projectile.

or a melty mush. ooh, but a molten one. eugh, it couldn't just melt to melt, huh? had to be a scorching melt.

rarrrrgh i hate sunday school!

then listen, pinhead stands at the altar, ready to perform his own sacraments, which involve pulling a slug out of his head? and then putting the slug into his other hand (he's losing me here), then all the candles in the church start blowing up, then he pulls out another slug, puts that slug into the first hand, and then a wall starts cracking...

look, if i understood it, i'd let you know.

the rite of slug is now complete. whatever windows remained are, you guessed it, blown to kingdom come. then the altar crumbles, and for some reason, the priest thinks he's going to be a hero. no. wrong. pinhead pulls out slug number three, i think, i couldn't really tell. i think that's the only thing i could have been was another slug.

joey's over here rubiks cubing. there's not a great deal of time left in the movie, so, everybody cross your fingers some evil about to get sealed.

oh ew i think what pinhead pulled out was a flesh glob, and then he stuck it in the priests mouth, huge ick.

but joey gets the cube to go blue.

WHAT'S -UP- MOTHERFUCKER

joey taunts pinhead with the cube and bolts again. she makes it to the best place to be in the middle of a hell siege, which is a construction site. yes.

she immediately hears shit creaking around, because this will never be easy.

ohhhh good, it's more happy friends.

oh no no no and one of them... one of them...

IS TERRI!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL LESBIAN LOVE STORY ;________; also note terri's direct line of smokes now.

"i can dream now, joey..." auuuuugh this wasn't the dream i wanted!

"terri..." her voice is so tiny and weak and defeated. i hate this, i hate this, HER ONLY OTHER FRIEND IN THIS WHOLE WORLD AND SHE'S A ZOMB.

well she tries to mess with the cube some more but borg jp and borg terri circle around her, beating her up. :(

and guess who arrives atop the hill, and threatens joey with "dark decades" of pain. oh golly.

more zombos come in.

"ahhh, more friends, come to play with you, joey."

"PLAY WITH THIS, PINHEAD"

joey gets the cube to go blue but this time...

it starts opening up!!

it starts autobotting and the zombos are looking at pinhead like, uh, dad? what do we do/???

then the cube starts shooting out blue stuff and ghostbustering all the zombos into it. they all scream and cry about it but there's nothing to be done, battle over, cube wins, that's it. pinhead tries to resist but he goes in, too... i... i think... we don't actually... see him...... go in.............

is that it? can joey go home now? this poor girl has been through An Ordeal.

joey tries to ask good ol ghosty if that's it. hello? is he there? don't flake out on us now, pal.

oh, what... is this now. wasn't that just dirt on the ground two seconds ago?

oh okay we're... here now, i guess.

look everybody, it's joey's dead dad.

so joey saved the world and gets to hug her dad, that's a pretty good reward. it's not going to bring back the scores of dead people, but this is okay.

wait

WAIT

WAAAAITT OH GOD WHAT THE HELL

"joey, they said you'd have something for me. something you won't need anymore." OH MY GOD STOP I'M HOLLERIN

"this? oh here, take it!" HONEY NO. JOEY NO. OH MY GOD

oh my god my entire soul is fleeing my physical form

I'M GONNA FRIGGIN FALL OVER AND DIE

well what the shit happens now

"save your tears. i'll reap your soul slowly."

then i legit don't know what the hell happens next, joey thinks about the window, and then all of a sudden...

...we're there? past the window?

"couldn't resist playing games, could you?" ah our old chap there he finally is

"you had to come through the window of her mind" okay say whatttttt. the window was in joey's mind all along? well that's kind of stupid if you ask me.

uh oh oh no oh dear it's time for chains. this is not the kind of kinky shit i am after let's not go down this road. cries and watches this through my hands.

oh no oh geez. pinhead stop i can't... do this... do not talk about pleasures right now... while this is... oh lord this is too weird

what... in the seven hells... is that. pinhead and ghostie take their sweet time watching each other while this THING rises up toward joey.

no. no fuckin way. i'm done. there's like three minutes left and i'm ready to leave.

bro. you're way too calm about this.

"you're right," he says to pinhead. "we do belong together."

and he reaches out and gets pinhead to drop the box. all right noW DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BACKGROUND HELLSPAWN

okay hellspawn and all the chains and weird things disappear, and then ghostie and pinhead fight, i guess.

me irl: "uhhhhh ok"

ah now they're a... tangled flesh monstrosity.

sure seems like... pinhead absorbed ol ghostie, though. that's not... great.

oh but... maybe it didn't go so hot for pinhead after all?

ghostie's head pops up and says "JOEY. SEND ME TO HELL." oh god please do. right now.

joey/cube otp

she messes with it a bunch while pinhead stalks closer, yipes!

now it's swiss army knifing. that's not what we need right now we need the other thing! the blue!

all right just kidding she gets it to be a dagger and stabs him good.

yeeeeowch! my pancreas!

yeah see ya. finally, once and for all, i think he's outta here.

ah, and there's the cube

NOW can joey finally go home? live in peace? all that good stuff? please leave her alone for the rest of time.

man stick that thing in some cement where it belongs, then throw it in the bottom of the atlantic.

look, cement! really get it in there deep. it doesn't really seem that deep. there were like nine more hellraisers after this so i'm thinking the cube makes its way out of the cement.

oh my sweet girl, go home and never think about any of this again. get some rest. get a therapist. stay far away from any and all ugly statues the rest of your life. you got a transport to space to catch; you don't got time to be running around down here!

joey goes home.

but there's one last thing.

that building they built on that construction site has some familiar designage.

THE END!!!!!! no seriously that's it. pinhead is the whole building?!!?!?!? NUKE IT.

ughhhhhh rubs my hands over my face so much for not having nightmares. thought i'd be free when i finally finished, but i think i am more unsettled than ever. really good! exactly what i wanted! man, what the fuck happens to joey now? she goes home and has ptsd for the rest of her life? somebody write me that fanfic. just kidding, don't, i don't want to think about it. only a happy life for joey now. no more hell raising for her. hope she moves to monterey and forgets all her troubles. maybe gets a nice girlfriend, settles down, never has a nightmare again.

oof. i gotta... do a juice cleanse or something. 2 spook. and jake is exactly right, i should never ever watch the rest of these movies, not ever in my life.

hey jake? you there, bud?

hold me ;_;