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iiikaruz · 1 year

Note

New CH episodes have made me officially decide to stop caring about the actual cast of the show </3 (/hj but i wish it was /j)

Anyway would you like to share some of your headcanons/scenarios for the side/minor characters ? It always makes my day 💚💖(/nf)

dude i feel you on these new episodes. wtf is going on over there. anyways, i’ll gladly dump this 10 ton stack of headcanons on you that i wrote down!! Marie Antoinette:

loves hyperpop and 90s house music. she’s so slay (i have a playlist lol)

into european weirdo cinema like Gaspar Noe’s but she also likes chick flicks (her fave films are Climax (2018), Daisies (1966), and But I’m A Cheerleader (1999).)

frequents on lolita forums and goes to really shady places just to get cute lolita items.

has absolutely mastered voguing. super into ballroom culture.

has a pet borzoi (those groovy long-nosed dogs.) her name is “Vanille” and Marie loves her dearly.

wants to study fashion. she especially loves Vivienne Westwood and Moschino.

Jesús Cristo:

is a juggalo, and he indoctrinated Van Gogh into it as well.

says “it is what it is” at any minor inconvenience.

had a mental crisis at 13 as a product to the stress of living up to his clone father. similar to joan’s breakdown in s1e3 but 10x worse. he tries to ignore it when people bring it up.

designated driver on any road trip. for some reason.

into bands like The Cure whilst also bopping to Cypress Hill.

his fave video game is Parappa the Rapper.

accidentally punching holes/nails into his hand is a common occurrence. seems like it just keeps happening, so he’s learned to just roll with it. he’s also a pretty good nurse bc of it.

Marilyn Monroe:

is always down for the school play. BUT she usually just does script-writing and tech.

into conspiracy theories and video essays. (all gorgeous gorgeous girls love video essays).

is a dedicated Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani stan.

SO “COQUETTE LIZZY GRANT DIOR RETRO” in her fashion choice.

she also gives “elle woods from legally blonde” vibes. straight A student right here.

CERTIFIED GIRLBOSS <3

Thomas Edison:

is obsessed with American Psycho (2000). he has a poster in his room and he’s weirdly obsessed with Christian Bale (very 🍎🍉🍊 of him, but he always excuses it with “oh no, i just idolize and worship him. there’s absolutely nothing gay ab it.” he’s lying.)

also he’s SUCH a pretentious film bro. he has a whole library of stupid film facts shoved in the back of his mind (im totally not projecting).

he only listens to: 80s new-wave stuff like New Order, Oingo Boingo, Beastie Boys, & Talking Heads OR Lana del Rey. There is no in between.

he worked (past-tense bc that shit is GONE in 2023) at a blockbuster video store next to the mall and he liked being a total bitch to people about it (example: “you really rented this shit? this movie sucks, dude”)

after getting unfreezed, he was ECSTATIC over how easy pirating movies is nowadays.

Napoleon Bonaparte:

member of the speech/debate club and he is THE WORST TO BE PAIRED WITH. he’s foaming at the mouth the moment someone gives a rebuttal he didn’t think of. some meetings end in him trying to beat up someone.

into 80s rock like Metallica and Black Sabbath. he has an electric guitar. he also FUCKING LOVES ABBA AND JAMIROQUAI. like… too much.

unlawfully good at Just Dance. he absolutely fucks it up on the dance floor.

adores fantasy films like Conan (1982) and The Never-Ending Story(1984). he’s so lame/ pos.

he bakes really well. that’s all he’s got going for him.

he either found his napoleonic military uniform at party city or at a thrift store with Marie Antoinette; his story changes depending on who he’s talking to.

he cut his own hair when he was 14. the following conversation after he did so was with caesar, and it was just the haircut scene from fleabag . he then continued to keep his stupid haircut to what it is now.

is a hopeless romantic. he can make up entire love poems & sonnets in his head about a girl he’s crushing on, but literally cannot talk to people without sounding like a douchebag unless he’s super comfortable w/ them.

Ivan the Terrible:

is an avid deftones, sewerslvt, & duster listener (i, unfortunately, ALSO have a playlist.)

spends his nights scrolling on 4chan and arguing w/ people. him & topher have accidentally argued w/ each other AT LEAST 5 times.

literally refuses to take off his ushanka in any weather. it doesn’t matter to him if it’s 90 degrees, that thing is staying ON.

kins Travis Bickle and Shinji Ikari. i mean, just look at this dude and how he presents himself. average NGE & Taxi Driver enjoyer/ hj.

fave video games are Postal 2 and osu!. he plays osu! phenomenally, to the point where it’s impressive. (pls put that energy into a job or something).

and yea that’s all the energy i have to write this down :]

#yeah i made ALL OF THIS UP LOL #AND THIS IS JUST A GLIMPSE INTO THE MINI SIDE-UNIVERSE I HAVE #but thx for asking!!!#clone high #clone high marie antoinette #clone high jesus #clone high jesus cristo #clone high marilyn monroe #clone high thomas edison #clone high napoleon #clone high ivan the terrible #clone high season 2 #ch #clone high reboot #clone high headcanons #so many tags

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adasknife · 8 months

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Oh my gosh ur post ab aeon shippers on twt😭😭they posted my tiktok on there trying to cook me with absolutely zero counter arguments LOL

ur post was soooo right like I personally don't think Ada cares for Leon much in the remakes. But aeon shippers constantly try and prove that she does and use it as an excuse that she's a good person while DISREGARDING the actual good stuff she did such as her switching the bombs off because she respected Luis enough to honor his dying wish of saving Leon and Ashley. And also urging him to leave after he gives her the suppressant so he isn't in danger and can carry out his wish

Like so many 'Ada lovers' don't love Ada they love the ship and they project onto people who don't ship them by saying we're self inserting when actually it's them.Like they were saying that ab me on twt I don't even like Leon much in 4remake😭

no cause like, it so utterly stupid that the line of defense of aeon ship is either: you want to dick ride leon and you hate ada for being a girl boss.

haven't you seen the og aeon?

okay? they peaked in re2 og and immediately tanked in re4 og when those idiots were suddenly were star-crossed lovers. this dumb ship would've worked if it was slow burn and if the fans weren't too horny for it or liars about their ship.

THEY DONT EVEN TALK ABOUT OG AEON! they talk a bit og 4, og 6 and damnation in parts. only remembering ada's lipstick stain in the letter but NOT remembering ada pushed the button to explode the island. or how she always points a gun on him.

like it was either sexy time with ada and leon (only thing canon), leon having a picture of ada in his phone as his lockscreen (not canon), ada writing a love confession to leon (also not canon) in re6.

they want to connect og and non-canon to remake and that's what's messing with their heads.

and SUDDENLY, when things don't make sense for them, they say:

look how much leon care for her.

help! where? a smirk? calling a keychain cute? a stare? or let's talk about pitting girls against girls. making claire constantly jealous against ada, ada being jealous of ashley. or how the male gaze side of the fandom pits the girls if they are prettier than ada.

some people don't give a shit about ada until this ship is under the fire, and it's EMBARRASSING to see a bunch ada icons only defend leon and only ready to call ada hot and be done for the day.

ada is only meant for leon to some people. she is rejecting luis because leon. she is helping sherry and jake for leon. she is working against leon... for leon?

but their logic, they should dick ride ada a bit more and ignore leon for a couple of days.

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merci-bitch · 4 years

Text

Her Lover

Alma LeFay Peregrine x fem!reader

Warnings: abuse, swearing, death, fluff, angst

Words: 5k

A/N: it’s been a while, hasn’t it. Lol. I’ve been having my exams and shit and I’ve been working on this for the longest time so I’m really sorry if there’s a word that’s not supposed to be there, I don’t really proof read. But hopefully more stuff shall be coming soon. Ta ta! Xx

Jake was surprised, it was all real. What his grandfather had told him, all those stories. They were real. It was unbelievable. At first, when he saw the boomed children's home he didn't really believe it. As that man said at the pub. 3 September 1943. No one survived, but then how come Miss Peregrine's letter had only come 2 years before to his grandfather. How was that even possible?

When we first entered the loop, he of course ran away and nearly got himself killed. Thankfully his new friends saved him from those angry Walsh people. The house looked so different from those ruins he saw. It was actually a very beautiful house. Big and tall and all those flowers growing up on the sides. Completely different.

Miss Peregrine wasn't anything like he'd expected. Not at all, despite from all the stories he'd got from his grandfather. Apparently she was the bird flying above him and his father when they first arrived to Cairnholm. Ever since Jake arrived, he'd notice that on the bird's right hand, her ring finger. There was a small ring with a single diamond. Jake knew it wasn't probably wasn't his thing to ask, but he didn't see anyone else then the people he'd already seen. His grandfather had never really mentioned anything or anyone else then the ones he'd already talked about.

He had helped Emma with the baby squirrel, it was a bit awkward wrapping the rope around her waist. He'd noticed Miss Peregrine's glare, it was uneasy. As if she felt some sort of jealousy? But that was ridiculous. Absurd. Jake had agreed to join them for supper. Emma was helping him in his grandfather's old room. He just couldn't but ask.

"Emma, could I ask you a question?"

"Jake, I told you that there are questions I can't answer." Emma said as she tied his tie.

"I know, but it's just. Does Miss Peregrine love you? Like, that way?"

Emma stilled. Almost uncomfortably.

"Jake. What's got you to even think of such disgusting things?!"

"I'm sorry! It's just, I saw her glare." Jake held his hands up in defeat.

Emma let out a sigh. Looked down before looking up again. "You must understand. Miss Peregrine, well all of us lost someone dear. It's taking her long time to actually get back to who she is. So please, stop asking questions." As she finished speaking the bell rang. They both walked down together and Jake almost sat down on Millard.

"Millard. Go and put some clothes on. Polite persons do not take their supper in the nude."

Jake almost felt sorry for him, he didn't mean to take his place really. He couldn't see him, obviously. He was, well he is invisible. During dinner, he couldn't help but stare at Miss Peregrine's right hand with that ring. Her long slim fingers with those long nails. The ring was silver. The small diamond was pretty. And shiny.

"Claire, why aren't you eating?" Miss Peregrine asked, looking with worry to Claire. Chewing on the piece of food.

"She's embarrassed in front of Jake." Hugh said, leaning over to Claire.

Jake shook his head. "Don't be. Please."

Claire looked over at Miss Peregrine with a small smile and Miss Peregrine sent Claire a wink before turning back to her own food. Claire grabbed the chicken leg and put it behind her head and a few seconds later she put the clean bone back on her plate.

"So Jake, what's your peculiarity?" Horace asked. Leaning over the table a bit to see Jake as he asked.

"Oh, I'm not peculiar." Jake stammered.

Enoch put down his fork and knife and said, "And that, my friends, is why he will not be staying with us. No matter how hard we try to persuade him."

Miss Peregrine spoke up again. Her voice light but firm. "We've spoken about this. Jake is just visiting."

Hugh opened his mouth, "He might want to say."

"Don't you want to stay, Jake?" Olive asked.

"Tonight? Or..-" Jake didn't get a chance to finish of his sentence before Claire irrupted him.

"Forever! You should stay forever." Her smile big.

"Why would he, if he doesn't have to? He can live out there, grow older, have a good time instead." Enoch said. Trying to make a clear point of why he didn't want Jake in the house. Jake could feel Emma slightly lift from her seat despite being strapped down. She was getting uncomfortable.

"He'll leave, just like his grandfather did." With that, Enoch started eating again and Emma got up and practically ran out of the room despite her heavy shoes. Miss Peregrine's call for Emma didn't stop her. As Emma left, a clothed Millard came into the room. Excusing himself. Sitting down and starting to eat his own food.

"Deep breathes Alma, you know how dear Enoch gets with new company."

Miss Peregrine closed her eyes at the voice inside her head. She was right. She slowly got up as the telephone rang. "I think you should all get ready for movie time while I answer that."

"But you always let us stay for it." Claire begged. Miss Peregrine turned around and gave the children a glare that almost scared Jake. She was a strange woman, yes she was. Miss Peregrine stepped out to the hallway, to the ringing telephone. This time, she nearly didn't answer it. Wishing the voice inside her head would come back. Missing the touch of that person with the voice nearly threw her off guard. She nearly kicked herself from going off schedule. Shaking her head, she answered the telephone and went on with the schedule.

The time went on, again. Horace's projected his dreams. One particular dream made Alma tense up. She couldn't watch it. She turned on the lights and heard all the groans from the children. It was almost re-set time. Olive asked Jake to stay and see the re-set. Enoch clearly didn't want him to. Alma felt herself chuckle softly. The arguments between Enoch and re-set. Alma stepped out in her raincoat and put on her gas mask after putting on the music. Run Rabbit Run. She would always sing along to the song-Alma kicked herself mentally again. She stopped her clock, she turned it 24 times to represent the 24 hours of the loop. She took of the gas mask and smiled towards her children.

She said her goodnight to the other children as Emma and Jake made their way out the door. Her smile faded as they disappeared from her view. She closed the door, knowing Emma would lock it. She slowly made her way up the stairs, to the end of the hallway, to her bedroom. She opened the door and walked in and closed the door again and locked it. Leaning against the door and closing her eyes.

"You know me better then I do. Can't seem to keep nothing from you. How you touch my soul from the outside. I still love you even though I'm scared. Learning to be grateful of myself. I wish I could love me like you did, how I wish I could trust myself like you did."

She moved from the door and towards her desk and sat down and started unpinning her hair. Brushing through her hair slowly. That black-blue hair. The little curls. She got undressed and dressed in her lacy nightgown and brushed her teeth and took off the makeup she'd been carrying during the day. She laid down in the cold bed, shivering slightly. Falling asleep after a few minutes.

***

"Clarice! Clarice come on. We have to get back. We can't stay in La Pari forever. We've been gone 7 years too long!" Claire let out a groan and stopped walking. "But Y/N! I love Paris!" Y/N shook her head. Her little sister was definitely a number. "Well, you wrote to Alma we'd be home, so let's go." Clarice didn't move. "I? I didn't write. She's your wife." Y/N felt herself tense up. Oh no. Y/N had forgotten to write, and she'd hopped her darling sister had written.

"When was the last time You wrote back home Clarice." Y/N looking over at her sister, with a glare almost identical to Alma's. Clarice bit her bottom lip. "5 years ago." Y/N felt her head spinning. She sat down and rubbed her forehead. Clarice started laughing. "What's so funny?!" Clarice threw her head back in laughter.

"Oh lord, the handful you will get when you get back. I mean Abe will definitely be in her side." Clarice said while patting her older sister's shoulder. "God. She'd kill me. I swear, I didn't mean to forget and I thought you'd been writing." Clarice shook her head. "But you're right. Let's go home."

***

"Jake, you're back. How wonderful." Miss Peregrine said as she held the Ymbryne tight to her.

"How's it doing?" Jake asked. "Emma said it was an Ymbryne."

"She. Not 'it'. Ymbrynes are always female." Miss Peregrine said as she looked up at Jake. "And Emma was quite correct. This is Miss Avocet." Miss Peregrine continued to give Miss Avocet the medicine.

"Her loop's in Blackpool, England." Jake said. Miss Peregrine slowly turned her head up towards him and saw him holding a piece of paper. "That was a private letter, Jake." She said as she put down the medication.

"Who is Mr. Barron?" Jake asked, slightly raising his voice.

Miss Peregrine's face expression turned blank and her right hand came almost protectively over Miss Avocet.

"Miss Peregrine, if my grandpa was involved with dangerous people. I need to tell the police." Miss Peregrine looked up at Jake again, her brows knitted with confusion.

"Police? Are you implying Abe died an unnatural death?" Her voice going quiet.

"I found him in the woods, with his eyes missing. I'd say that was pretty unnatural." Jake said as he watched Miss Peregrine raise from her chair. Miss Peregrine looked at Jake in disappointment, snatching the letter out of his hands.

"Unless essential, I don't discuss unpleasant matters. An Ymbryne's duty is to protect children, Jake." With that, she left the room, almost in a hurry.

"I'm not a child! He wanted you to tell me everything!" Jake shouted after her. Jake let out a sigh of frustration and walked down the hallway and was stopped when both Enoch and Olive came into his view.

"Oh. How frustrating for you. Between Miss Peregrine's rules and my housemates' little pact not to scare you off, it's like no one's telling you anything." Enoch was sarcastic. Olive stood quietly behind him. Jake leaned forward.

"Why don't you, then? It's not like you want me here."

This time, Olive spoke up.

"Enoch, you can't. You promised." Enoch looked back at Olive before answering.

"Olive's right. I do know someone who can get away with breaking rules though. Want to meet him?" Jake looked a bit uneasy at Enoch before following him up the stairs. Olive behind them.

"Enoch, don't do this. Please!" She grabbed his arm, begging him not to do whatever he was going to do.

"You want to spend time with me and Jake, we can all play together. That's what you said." Enoch said as they reached a door at the end of the hallway. Olive stood in front of them. Not letting them pass through the door.

"Well, here we all are." Enoch said. Olive looked up at him with a bit ready expression. "Move Olive."

"If you're going to be like that, then I don't want to be your friend." With that, Olive left. Sobbing quietly to herself while walking down the hallway.

"Enoch, leave Victor alone. It really upsets Bronwyn." Fiona said as she walked up to Enoch and Jake. Enoch put both his hands on Fiona's shoulders, "Stop fussing, Fiona. Don't you think Jake should meet everybody?" He said while looking over at Jake.

"He's trying to frighten you away, Jake. He's always jealous of Abe. And now he's jealous of you. Come and play with us instead."

Enoch crossed his arms and looked at Jake, waiting for an answer. Jake didn't really know what to say.

"I'd quite like to meet Victor." Jake said after some time. Enoch smiled and ruffed Fiona's hair. Enoch opened the door, letting Jake walk in. "After you."

In the middle of the room there was a bed, covered in thin layers of fabric, and Jake saw Victor, lying there. He slowly walked in, moving with small steps towards the bed.

"Hello, Victor. I'm Jake. I'm sorry to disturb.." Jake looked down at Victor. His eyes were missing.

"Yeah, he can't hear you." Enoch said. Enoch got on his knees and opened Victor's shirt and put the heart he held down into Victor's chest. Jake saw how Victor's chest started to heavy. Almost like a jump scare in movies, Victor sat up and looked over at Jake.

"Hello, Jake. I'm Victor. Do you want to know what killed me?" Almost like a puppet he was. It scared Jake and he ran out of the room, downstairs where Miss Peregrine and the rest of the children were waiting.

"Ah, there you are. Is Enoch with you? It'd time for our daily walk." Miss Peregrine said.

***

Alma walked into the room where Victor lay. Sighing once seeing Victor's covers down. She pulled them up, making sure they covered him and slowly sat down. Noticing the tear falling down his cheek. Softly wiping it away and pulling him up and held him against her chest.

One of the most disappointing things she'd ever done. How she couldn't be able to save Victor, how she'd let her poor child die. She never meant for him to die, she never meant for Bronwyn to lose her brother. Alma felt herself tear up.

"It's alright Alma, you did what you could and for that, Victor will forever be grateful."

She really wanted to believe those words. Oh, how hard life could be. She couldn't let herself to cry. She'd always say it was alright to cry, but Alma just couldn't. She slowly put Victor back in his place and looked at her watch. She had a few minutes before the children would be back, but she had to keep schedule.

Alma walked out of the room, closing the door. Walking down the hallway to the right and then further down that hallway and then into her own bedroom. Closing the door behind her, locking it. Just in case. She quickly walked over to the dressed against the wall, opened a drawer and pulled out a shirt that didn't belong to her.

Sticking her nose deep into the fabric, closing her eyes and breathing in the familiar sent. Holding onto the shirt tightly. Alma felt her eyes sting.

Why did life have to be so cruel? Why couldn't just one person live a life and be happy. Is it only fairytales that get their happy endings and not people in the real world? Was the 'perfect' life all just a big lie that you were told on the television outisde loops? Why couldn't you just live yourself in your dreams? Wouldn't life be so much better if you could? It would save all troubles from people.

Alma slowly sat down on the bed. Still holding the shirt tightly to her. Breathing in the sent again. Letting her eyes roll back for just a second. Accidentally losing herself in the sent. Letting a soft moan escape her mouth which caused her to blush. Hand covering her mouth as she blushed even more.

"My shirt hm?"

Alma turned around with a gasp. No one was there, she let out a sigh. Alma got up again, checked her clock and put the shirt back in the drawer and walked downstairs. Waiting for the children to arrive back home.

***

"Clarice, where was the loop again?"

"You can't be serious. We lived with Alma for years, you're married to her for gods sake!" Clarice sat down in the damp grass, crossing her arms. Letting out a huff.

"Awh, stop acting like a bloody kid! Maybe help me instead of acting like such a bloody moron!" Y/N answered to her sister.

She let out a huff and sat down on a rock. Y/N felt bad. She'd been gone 7 years too long and Alma probably thought she was dead. Just because her little sister didn't write as she used to. Y/N reaches into her pocket and pulled out a few photos. Photos she took, before she left.

Most were of Alma. It was one of the only times she'd let her time be taken from her. She missed the bird.

"Could you stop sobbing and perhaps do something to help? You cant stare at th-hey. Y/N. Was that Abe?"

Y/N looked up and saw nothing. She turned to her sister and hit the back of her head.

"Very funny."

***

The children were packing after they're realisation that they couldn't stay. As Alma had finally gotten the suitcase to close, thanks to the twins, the doorbell rang. How odd. She hadn't expected anyone. Alma walked up towards the door and opened the door and felt her whole body tense.

"Miss Peregrine, what a pleasure to meet you at last!"

Mr. Barron was holding his hand shaped knife against Jake's neck. Alma felt her breathing stop for only a second. What on earth was happening?!

"May we come in?"

Alma took a few steps back, letting him inside the house. Her children standing on the stairs.

"Children! Would you make your way down the stairs, please?" Mr. Barron shouted.

Alma raised her voice. "I give the orders in this house, Mr. Barron." Looking at him sternly.

"Not today. You should know that Jake has served his purpose. If you value his life, I suggest everyone does as they're told. Children!"

Alma raised her finger and shushed him. "No one tells my children what to do!" Alma turned around, a split of disgust in her expression. "Children, come down here, please." Her voice was strong but soft.

The children made their way slowly down the stairs.

"Miss Peregrine-"

"I thought I told you to be quiet." Alma snapped back at him. Giving him one of her famous death glares. She slowly made her way around again to look at her beautiful children. Knowing she might never see them again.

"Children, for Jake's safety, we're going to do what Mr. Barron asks. He wishes to take me with him to his rendezvous in Blackpool. So, for his protection, he'd like me to assume bird form, preferably caged. And he'd like you to make your way into a lockable room, such as the parlour." Alma turned her frame towards the parlour then back to her children before turning around to look at Mr. Barron.

"As he won't release Jake if he fears an attack could be mounted upon him once he loses his leverage. Correct, Mr. Barron?" Alma raised her chin, showing how she awfully despised him. Mr. Barron was at loss of words.

"You're sacrificing yourself and all of us, for Jake?"

Came behind her, Alma turned around and looked at Enoch.

"Me. Barrons travels with a Hollow, Enoch. Once it arrives here, we're all dead." She could almost feels Mr. Barron's wicked grin behind her. Alma saw Horace lean in to whisper something to Enoch but didn't bother to listen. It took everything not to shed a tear. She'd lost everything now. The woman she loved the most, her dear children. Everything.

She moved towards the parlours door and said her goodbye to each child that passed her, ending with a hug from Emma and the twins which made her she'd a tear. Once every child was inside the parlour, she grabbed the door handle to each door and took a deep breath and looked over her children.

"It's been my privilege, to care for you all. Goodbye my children."

Alma closed the doors and turned the lock and turned to face Barron, showing her anger through her tear stained cheeks. Taking steps forward.

"Now let him go."

"Oh, but the fun's just begun Alma." Barron let out a low chuckle.

"How dare you speak my name, filthy bastard." Alma tightened her tone. Growing more impatient by each second that passed.

Barron let out another chuckle, this time of surprise.

"My my, what words those pretty lips let out. Tell me, how's dear old Y/N doing?"

Alma clenched her jaw. Feeling as she might explode.

"How dare you speak her name?! How dare you come here, act like you own everything I have. You took her from me! How dare you mention anything of her's. I know what you did to her family, how her parents practically coward before you. On their knees begging to not die. Letting their dear children's lives pay their depth."

As Alma continued, Barron only chuckled. Jake was confused. Who was Y/N? What did this woman mean to Miss Peregrine?

"Technically I wasn't the one who sold her, her mother was. Her dear parents are still loyal to me as ever. I'd never gotten a chance to meet dear Y/N. So tell me, where is she?"

This time, it was Alma's time to be confused.

"What do you mean by that. No tricks Mr. Barron. I want the honest truth."

As he let Jake go, letting out a groan. "Listen, lady. I'd never meet her. If I had, do you think I'd be asking you? So come now Miss Peregrine. Where is she. Her mommy and daddy just wanna say hello."

Alma felt herself start to tremble. Y/N hadn't been in Barron's possession.

She'd spoken to Jake. Begging him to care of her children before turning into bird form. Flying into the cage. Leaving with Mr. Barron. If her dearest was really alive, she'd never see her again. Nor her beloved children.

***

"Emma, I have a question. Look-I know you don't answer them but it's about something Miss Peregrine said before she turned into a bird. Who's Y/N?"

Emma went quiet for a moment, not really wanting to speak. Jake let out a sigh and continued to talk.

"Mr. Barron said he'd never meet Y/N before. What does this mean-who is she?" Jake looked t Emma who's eyes looked at his. A slight tone of happiness appearing on her face.

"So, that means she could still possibly be alive." Emma's smile got bigger.

"Who is she? Is she another peculiar?" Jake was growing impatient.

Emma sighed. "Alright, if I tell you. Will you stop asking?"

Jake nodded his head and sat down and waited for Emma to speak.

"Y/N came to our home years ago, before Miss Peregrine had made the loop. She came with her sister Clarice. When they came they were both pretty young. I think Clarice was 15 and Y/N perhaps 20. I heard Miss Peregrine talk with them about what had happened to them. It wasn't really, nice."

Emma sat down herself and took a deep breath.

"Mr. Barron came to their house, in the middle of the night and killed their brother, well took his eyes. He was around 8. She talked about how their parents had sold them to Barron for their own safety. But before Barron could touch them they'd ran away. They'd taken the boat and arrived here."

Jake listened as she explained more about Y/Nk's past. But there was just one question bothering him.

"What about the ring on Miss Peregrine's finger?" Jake asked.

"Y/N and Miss Peregrine kinda fell for each other. A few years after the loop was created, they got married. Then again a few years later, perhaps 7 years ago. Both of them left, Y/N and her sister. But after two years they stopped writing back home. We heard nothing from them and since Barron wanted to recreate the experiment Miss Peregrine told you about.”

Jake nodded, shocked. He had nothing against the LGBT community but he’d never thought Miss Peregrine was a lesbian. Perhaps she wasn’t, maybe just fell for the one person she trusted most.

They went on, the plan to save Miss Peregrine.

***

“Clarice, fix it. Please. Something has happened.”

Y/N was panicking. The loop was gone, not a child in sight. Alma wasn’t here either. Clarice had the peculiarity of restoring time, she restored the loop. Made everything go back to normal. The house looked itself again but no child was there. What the hell happened. How long has the house been like this? Clarice was too busy walking to her room.

Y/N looked around, saw suitcases. Were they leaving? But why, and where? It felt strange being back in the house, but with everyone gone. Y/N walked around, touching the walls and everything. Y/N walked upstairs and into the bedroom she once shared with Alma and closed the door behind her. Alma’s perfume hitting her like a smack in the face. The scent of smoke, flowers.

She pulled open the drawer and pulled out one of the dark blue lacy nightgowns and spelled. Alma. Y/N looked out the window. It was dark and it was raining. Y/N loved the rain. She walked over to the window and sat down by the window and opened it to listen to the rain and felt herself drift off into sleep.

***

Alma opened the door and walked in. How in the hell was the house still standing? She hadn’t reset the loop. She was wet and she was tired and drained. She quickly walked into the bathroom connected to her room and took a warm, long and hot shower. She wrapped the towel around herself and stepped out. Looking in the drawer for her nightgown but it wasn’t there. Alma turned her head to the figure she saw sitting by the window and nearly had a heart attack.

She grabbed her pillow and hit Y/N with it multiple times.

“You reckless little-“

“Alma, hey! Stop hitting me!”

“I have every right to be angry at you! I thought you were dead. For 7 years you’ve been gone and then you stop writing?!”

Y/N could see Alma’s cheeks turning red from anger. She stepped forward, grabbing the pillow out of Alma’s hands and kissed her knuckles. Which made Alma shut up.

“Why’d you do that to me, to the children.” Alma’s voice was on breaking point.

Y/N looked up, into those blue eyes. “I never meant to. I forgot to write-“ Alma cut her off with a snort.

“Of course you did.” Alma took the nightgown from Y/N and dropped her towel and put it on. Feeling Y/N’s eyes on her. It made her shiver. Then she felt arms wrapped around her waist and a soft kiss on her right shoulder. “I’ve missed you. Please don’t leave again.” She felt Y/N shake her head and turned around in her arms and kissed her lover on the lips softly. Nearly losing herself in her lover’s lips. Laughing softly after feeling Y/N’s hands tickle her sides.

“I hate you.”

“You love me birdy.”

#alma peregrine x reader #alma peregrine #mphfpc

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sortagaysortahigh · 3 years

Text

No literally this episode of euphoria was so wild that I’m literally still thinking about it. So here are more of my thoughts, you dont have to read them but i had to put them down somewhere. Like these only focus on rue jules elliot and cassie tho cause thats rlly all this episode got me focused on and focused on

First and foremost lets make it clear that literally Rue is the shittiest of shitty, out of everyone on this show her addiction had made her into a complete piece of shit (which is incredibly realistic if you know addicts) and homegirl is really wrong for traumatizing the fuck out of everyone in her life. There’s really not any if ands or buts ab it, Rue is a shitty person who dug herself into that hole that she’s in. Now we can also look at the other characters who are literally almost all pieces of shit in some way shape or form-and that’s the truth. We see everyones backgrounds and why they are the way they are-but that doesn’t excuse being shitty people.

Jules is a shitty person-why? because she lived in a fantasy world instead of opening her eyes to her addict of a girlfriend while also cheating on her addict girlfriend when she literally was fucking hella randoms like six months ago and also left Rue at a train station or some shit when rue really needed her, yes rue is still fucking wrong for dragging jules into her shit but jules made that choice to be involved with rue knowing her past and knowing her mother was an addict. Not to mention she cheated on her with ANOTHER ADDICT who she wasnt mad at for doing drugs? she was only mad at rue?. Rues a shitty liar and jules lived in the fantasy that she as sober instead of opening her eyes.

Elliot is a shitty person for literally lying to Jules’s face then finally admitting the truth after fucking her last episode like genuinely I believe is the most manipulative person on the damn show. He doesnt give two fucks about jules or rue and it shows cause first of all why would you let her willingly do fent and heroine when you know how bad that shit is...talking ab i do it w her...no you dont bro you watch her get higher than high and youre like lol so you wanna fuck me or nah? are you like asexual cause you dont wanna fuck me?

Dont get me started on fucking cassie, miss “YOU TWO WERENT BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFREIND SO I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG” “IM CRAZIER THAN MADDY NATE I LOVE YOU NATE” like girl first of all therapy is necessary bc you dont love yourself and project your insecurities to the point that you literally started fucking your best friends abusive ass ex. Also the “im cassie im here to save the day and give positive advice and vibes to you rue” like girl youre fake as fuck please calm down, you’re no better than any other bitch in this room. And her mom is also a piece of shit too and an alcoholic enabler but thats a whole other story

#lex talk euphoria #euphoria spoilers

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thatguy-thisguy-yourguy · 2 years

Text

Lily/Adrian Fanfic! Get it here!

While you're at it, read the lovely fanfics written by people whose Tumblrs I don't know!

Here is the Fic below too! Inspired by https://soundcloud.com/zalinki/go-the-distance-feat-rosarrie

“We might not see the future, but you’re always on my mind.”

Adrian and Lily’s relationship wasn’t surprising in the way you thought it’d be. No huge dork suddenly meeting the manic pixie dream girl of a lifetime in the halls. No notes stuck to lockers or putting up dukes to defend a fair maiden’s honor. Lily wasn’t a fair maiden to be, well, fair. She was blonde, but what’s so fair about a little genetic mutation?

Adrian was a huge dork. Never so much as coughed during a class, writing so fast that it was a wonder how the palms of his hands didn’t somehow develop abs. He never really went out of his way to make friends, which as we all know, screams bloody murder “Dork!” But, you had to give the guy credit-he hadn’t bought a fedora and never would!

Maybe in some ways, Lily was some sort of manic pixie dream girl. A panic mixie gream dirl, if you will. She smoked, she’d steal an animal, but that was very moral of her. And she had eyes for that dork we’ve established.

The relationship started with Lily, as you may suspect. Honestly, she just thought he was smart enough to be a contestant on a gameshow called “who’s gonna be my lab partner?” Generic, but nothing to complain about. From then on, she’d just kind of be around, not that Adrian was complaining. He never considered a relationship, not even when Lily would make up excuses-or ask him quite bluntly-to hang out on weekends, but that’s just not the type of person Eventually, she just became a staple in Adrian’s life, sticking around for any shenanigans he and Jim(usually Jim) would come up with.

Eventually, however, she decided that she thought she might love this boy that we’ve hyped up so much.

It had to be around 11:25, chemistry, how fitting. Lily wasn’t one for the whole “do you like me” note, nor did she want to jump Adrian to ask him about their obviously developing relationship. That might as well be threatening him. Instead, Lily wrote down something very simple, that she figured wasn’t anything so special that she’d regret it.

She wrote:

“I think we should stay in each other’s lives”

And she gave it to him. And he read it. And he smiled.

Which brings us to the now.

Adrian and Lily had been together for some unspecified time. At this time, they were in Adrian’s room, which was so tidy, it might’ve been suspicious, but Lily didn’t care. She’d been in here a few times by now, very few. Adrian didn’t really like people in his house, let alone his room.

For a few hours they talked about nothing and everything: graduation plans, their future together, names they would have got if they had not had their own, religion, how alcohol being cheaper than non-alcoholic drinks may be so people will keep quiet about their problems, rats.

During those few hours of nothing, whilst in the middle of what the youngin’s would call “a cuddle sesh”, Adrian got up. Then, Lily got up, giving him a quizzical look and asking,

“Did I do something wrong?”

Adrian pulled out a blue notebook, one Lily hadn’t seen amongst the millions of other ones he brought to class. He sat back down next to her, and Lily could clearly see the word “FEELINGS” scrawled across it.

“I think you should see me.”

“But I do see you, dorko.”

A poke in the nose. A kiss.

“Yeah, but to see me the way you let people see you, just, you know,” He held up the notebook, giving it a light slap, “compact.”

Lily sat quiet. Moments of true, emotional intimacy were rare when initiated by Adrian. So, together, they looked through it once.

#the prescription zine #will wood #the prescription #adrian crick #i hope the keep reading thing worked #zalinkis new track is so fire #fanfic

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rxsie-the-demon · 4 years

Text

Brooklyn Baby | JJ Maybank

SERIES MASTERLIST | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

chapter summary: Kelce confides in Nikki, who learns the details of what happened last summer. Kie devises a plan.

Chapter 4: Dark Paradise

“Hi! I’m Nikki.”

JJ’s jaw dropped. “Uh...” He blinked a couple of times, looking between me and Kiara, before rubbing his eyes and mumbling, “Ah, fuck me. I’m way too high to be doing this.” He went over to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

Kiara was sitting on the floor, head between her knees, trying to catch her breath. “I’m sorry JJ, but your face was everything.” He rolled his eyes and flipped her off.

I giggled, and took a couple steps forward to extend my hand out to Pope. “You must be Pope Heyward. It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard such wonderful things!”

JJ snorted and took a chug of his beer. “I’m sure you have.”

We ignored him and he shook my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too! Kiara’s told us a lot about you.”

“Aww,” I said, turning to look at Kie. I walked over to JJ and looked up at him. Yes, looked up, since he had about a foot on me. “Nice to meet you.” I smiled warmly. Moment of truth.

He studied my face for a minute, before glancing at my hand and then away. “Whatever,” he mumbled. My eyes went wide with surprise. Sheesh.

“Ohh-kay then,” I spun. I did not think he’d be that rude. I walk over to Kiara and then smiled. “Well, what do you guys like to do for fun?” I asked the Pogues.

Pope opened his mouth to respond, but JJ said, “Beat up Kooks and steal their cash for drugs.” I snorted.

Kiara rolled her eyes. “JJ, play nice.”

JJ shrugged and chugged down the rest of his beer can and crushed it. “Just letting Pillow Princess here know how we roll down here in The Cut.”

“Um, excuse me?” I took a step forward. I could see the satisfied look on JJ’s face, like he enjoyed the fact that I was pissed.

Kie grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

“Well, this has been fun, but we should head back to Figure Eight, right, Nikki?” Kiara looked at me with a look that said Please don’t press this

I shrugged. “Alright.” I turned to face the boys. “Peace out, Pogues.”

“Bye, Nikki! It was nice meeting you! Bye, Kie, love you!” Pope waved. JJ ignored me and headed towards his bedroom.

“Love you too!” Kiara shouted back, grabbing the skateboards.

We made our way outside the house and down the dirt road.

“Did he call me a pillow princess?” I asked Kiara once we were a good distance from the house. “What does that even mean?!”

"You don’t wanna know,” Kie chuckled a little. I shot her a confused look.

“Ok, now I do wanna know.”

“Nikki, trust me-” she pulled her hair back into a bun, “-if I tell you, you’re just gonna get pissed.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, c’mon I’m not that unhinged- Wait, was it a sex joke?”

Kie laughed. “Took you long enough.”

My nostrils flared, and I spun around. “I marched towards the house, skateboard lifting above my head. “I’m gonna bash his skull in-”

“Nikki. Nikki. NIKKI- No!” Kie ran after me and grabbed my arms. “Look, I know JJ is frustrating at times, but he means well.”

“He means well?! How the f-”

“Ok, ok! Just give him time?! Please? He just doesn’t like...Kooks.” She waved her hand towards me. “And if he sees that he got under your skin that easily, he’s never going to stop picking on you.”

“He doesn’t like Kooks? You’re, like, his best friend!”

“Well, I never really fit in with the other Kooks, and besides, I’ve known them for years.”

I grumbled, “Whatever,” under my breath and turned around, making my wait with Kiara towards the main road.

Stupid fucking JJ Maybank.

*********************************************

“Uh, girl? You good?” Scarlet asked me, waving her fork near my face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I had my head down on the table, and I sat up and rubbed my temples. Lunch had started a couple minutes ago, but I wasn’t hungry. I was frustrated. A certain annoying blonde boy was still pissing me off. And it wasn’t Topper or Rafe.

“You don’t look fine,” Topper noted.

“Yeah,” Kelce agreed. “You look like you need to take a shit.” Topper coughed up his drink and started laughing-wheezing.

Scarlet gagged. “You boys are disgusting.” She swatted his arm.

“What?!” Kelce defended. Topper and Kelce high-fived, and I smacked Topper upside the head.

“No, I do not need to take a shit. Thanks for the concern. No, it’s just that I met this kid, JJ Maybanks, last week, and he’s annoying as fuck. I’m pissing about that.”

Topper and Kelce groaned. “I fucking hate that dude,” Topper sighed. Kelce agreed.

“Why?” I asked. “And Kelce, I thought you weren’t trying to start stuff with these Pogues.”

“Yeah, well, JJ’s a special case. He’s dangerous.” Kelce shrugged

“How did you even meet him? He never comes onto Figure Eight and he lives on, like, the other side of the island.” Scarlet added, eyebrows scrunched. “Like, the poor side.”

I thought quick. If I told them I was friends with Kiara, they would start to give me shit.

“I was bored. And I just..drove around over there and stopped at some random pier near the swamp.” I lied and took a bite of my pasta, which literally tasted like cardboard. I gagged and took a sip of my water.

I could tell that Scarlet wasn’t convinced, but she dropped it, thankfully. We continued the rest of lunch talking about scuba diving, but I could feel Scarlet giving me strange looks.

When the lunch bell rang, I practically bolted out of there. Confessing to meeting JJ Maybank made me uncomfortable for some reason, and I don’t know why. Was he really a dangerous person or-

“Nikki! Wait up!” I heard a voice call behind me.

I slowed down and spun my head around to see Kelce jogging up to me. I stopped completely turned to face him, and he made his way over to me and smiled. “What’s up, midget?”

“Shut up,” I hissed and continued walking towards my class. “What’s up?”

Kelce shrugged. “Nothing.” He ran his fingers through his hair a couple times, before following up with, “Actually, are you free today after school?”

“Uh...think so, yeah. Why?”

“Uh, I wanted to go...golfing?” Kelce laughed. “Actually, I kinda want to talk to you.”

I felt a wave of panic. Was this about the Pogues? JJ? Kiara? “Sure, what ab- shit, I just walked by my class,” I spun around and hopped into my room. “Text me later, Kelce!”

“I- ok?! See ya!” Kelce laughed nervously and finger-gunned me. I sat down at a desk and pulled out my phone to see a text from Kie.

‘ayo what’re u doing after school?’

‘hanging w kelce, he like, just, asked me. why?’

‘ooh ok, i was wondering if u wanted to come over to work on the project?’

‘sure! i’ll text u when i’m done golfing w kelce’

‘golfing, srsly?’

‘lmaoo’

********************************************************************

“So, what did you want to talk to me about again?” I asked as I sat into the golf cart. Kelce managed to smack the golf ball into the water, but I noticed his hands were shaking a bit. He seemed nervous, and for the life of me I didn’t know why.

“Um, ok...look, I know it’s a bit weird because I haven’t known you for as long as I’ve known Topper and them but, can I trust you with a secret?” Kelce seemed anxious; his hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel and his leg was bouncing up and down pretty fast.

I narrowed my eyes. Well, of course I’d keep it, but Kelce is right, I’ve only been here about a month, and judging from how nervous he sounds, it seems like something...personal.

“Well, of course, but you seem nervous...is everything alright?”

“Yeah no-” he parked the golf cart as we got to our spot. I got out of the cart and made my way to my golf clubs. “Sorry, keep going Kelce.” I apologized and allowed him to continue.

“No you’re good! It’s just that...I think I have a crush on one of our friends and I don’t know how to tell them.”

“Wait, really?! Oh my gosh, who’s the lucky girl?” I exclaimed. Kelce didn’t respond; he just kept walking, and he looked even more nervous. The realization dawned on me.

“Them? Not her? We don’t have any non-binary friends...do you like one of the guys?”

Kelce looked away, nervous. I ran up in front of him and put my hands on his shoulder.

“Hey, Kelce, it’s ok. You can talk to me about this, you know? I’m not gonna out you or anything like that.”

He looked up at me for a second, and I could see the tiny reflection of tears starting to form in his eyes. He inhale sharpy before proclaiming, “I think- no, I am, bisexual. And I have feelings for Topper.”

I gave him a smile, and stood up on my toes to hug him. “Thank you for telling and trusting me with this.”

He hugged me back, and squeezed me tightly. He let go of me and sighed, “It feels good, being able to tell people this. My parents would be accepting, but a lot of our family friends are homophobic and I’m afraid this would ruin our reputation. And-” He stopped

“I get it. I mean- I don’t get it, but I understand what you’re trying to say. Of course, I’ll keep this a secret, but...are you ever going to tell Topper? Or your parents?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “For now, I’m just gonna see if I get any vibes from Topper.”

I laughed. “Maybe. He hasn’t had much luck with girls; maybe a guy is what he needs.”

**********************************************************************

“So, how was golfing with Kelce?” Kie laying bellydown on the floor, doodling away in her sketchbook while I was (attempting to) french braid her hair.

“Uh, it was alright. Kelce kept hitting the balls into the water. For someone who’s lived here for a while, he sucks at golfing!” I joked. She snorted and threw her head back. “Hey! You’re gonna mess up the braid!”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just funny to me how all take pride in their golfing skills but in reality, they’re not that great.”

“Honestly, I think that’s just all boys. They hype themselves up too much and we’re let down.” I giggled. Kie turned around with a sarcastically shocked look on her face. “NIKKI! Girl, I did not expect that from you.”

I gently smacked her arm, then looped the scrunchie I had in my hand around her hair. “All done. Do you think we should work on our Royal Merchant project?” I got up to grab the small backpack I brought with me. In it was the small notebook I used to jot down stuff about the ship. I had decided not to use my history notebook because this ship apparently has some important history in the Banks, and I’m most likely going to find out stuff about it while going around the island with Kie.

“Uhh, yeah sure hold up.” She stood up and went over to her desk. She pulled out a black spiral notebook that look like it’d had been dragged through the mud and dryed in a river. The cover had patchy brown stains on it and dried up water marks. She spun around and faced me, placing the book down on the desk behind her and putting her hands in the pockets of her gray sweatpants. “After John B and Sarah...we decided to write down everything we knew about the Merchant in this notebook and get rid of everything else. Not that there was much left...our maps, everything got stolen by Ward Cameron.”

“Ward Cameron? Wait...Rafe’s dad? Wheezy and Sarah’s dad, Ward Cameron? What do you mean?”

Kiara stopped. “Um...” and started fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt, purposefully avoiding eye contact with me. “It’s- it’s a long story.”

“Is it one you’re allowed to tell me?” I was uncomfortable now- well, more like nervous. I fell very antsy, and my hands were shaking a bit. I clasped them in front of me and swallowed to ease my nerves. Something about how nervous Kie seemed made me scared...

“Well,” she started. She looked up at her ceiling and closed her eyes, then exhaled slowly. “There’s nothing legally stopping me, but JJ and probably Pope would be a bit unhappy if I told you.”

I shrugged and turned to crouch down to my bag, slightly disappointed if I was being honest. “That’s alright, you don’t have to tell-”

“Let’s go to the Chauteau.” Kie interrupted. I looked up at her. She had her lips pressed together in a weird smile. I did not know what she was thinking. “I have a plan.” She furrowed her eyebrows together, “Kind of. It’s half a plan.”

I put my notebook in my bag and grabbed the top handle. “You don’t have to tell me, you know. I don’t want your friends getting pissed at me.”

“Oh I know,” she smiled, “but I have a plan. A way to bring the Cameron family down and to bring justice to John B and Sarah. But to do that, the two of us and the boys need to work together.”

I nodded slowly, having no idea where she was going with this. “We are still gonna get the project done, right?”

Kie giggled. “Yes, of course.”

*********************************************

“Yeah, so, that’s...it, basically.” Kiara said, slapping her hands down onto her thighs and turning her head left to face me.

I think the look on my face was one of complete horror, because JJ, who was on Kie’s right, burst into laughter. Full on, tear-jerking, belly-grabbing laughter. Pope, who was standing up in front of him, kicked him in the shin. “Dude, what the fuck are you laughing about?”

After he managed to calm himself down, he wiped his tears and said, “Sorry, man, it was just so funny seeing the Kook’s reaction- I mean-”

“Stop calling me that,” I interjected. “I’m just...mortified you guys went through that, and that...” I stopped talking, and looked down at my hands. That Rafe killed someone. I clenched my fists together. I wasn’t mad, not yet. It hadn’t really set in yet. Right now I’m completely shocked, at Rafe, Topper, even Kelce who kept John B locked up in his house.

JJ must have knew what I was thinking, because the usually cocky look in his eyes faded and was replaced with slight sympathy. ”None of us expected you to know this.”

Tears started swelling up in my eyes. “My god...your friends are dead because of Rafe.” I covered my hand with my mouth. I felt like I was gonna be sick. “I’m sorry, I feel so dramatic; your friends are dead and I’m the one who’s crying.”

Pope laughed dryly and said, “Trust me, we cried enough.” When I looked up at him, he was looking down, and I could see tears forming in his eyes too.

I inhaled once, deeply, then turned to Kiara and smiled. “So, what’s this plan you were talking about?”

***********************************************

A/N

i am sorry for straight-up disappearing. it was a mix of writer’s block and mental health; i needed to plan out some details for the story but when i sorted everything out, my brain was like “nah” but yep i’m back haha

******************************

chapter 5

#jj #jj x oc #jj maybank #obx #obx fic #jj obx #pope x kiara #obx john b #obx kiara #kiara carrera #pope #obx pope #rafe cameron #topper obx #topper thornton #JJ fluff #JJ smut

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anonymousbaev · 4 years

Note

i love ur writing style!! i was wondering if u could write how the rfa + v and saeran would react to mc coming out as bi? and like,,,shes kinda scared they might leave her or smth?

RFA+V and Saeran reaction to mc coming out as bi

Thank you so much for the compliment, you boosted my confidence in writing it even got me inspired to write this for you! (〃^∇^)ﾉ Also this idea is amazing, I hope I wrote it similar to the way you wanted it! I started at 6 pm and just finished right now at 2:43 am yay! WOOHOO FIRST HEADCANON REQUEST COMPLETE! I also saw another request come in while working on this so I shall begin on that one sometime soon too! Please lmk if anything here is disrespectful in any way. ENOUGH TALKING, ENJOY! ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

!!WARNING!!

!!PROFANITY AND TRIGGERING SCENES!!

☆Yoosung☆

☆ You and Yoosung have been dating for a month now, you both told each other everything. At first you were scared to come out to him as being bi, but coming further and further into your relationship, you felt an urge to tell him. Being bi was something you were proud of. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel a bit scared he would leave you. You know he’s supportive and understanding, he’s not someone who would judge you. However, having a trauma of your parents kicking you out from a young age for being bi… It left an empty hole in your heart that had yet to be mended. Why couldn’t they love you for who you were? You were still their kid they’ve always known…

☆However, your parents were old news now. If they couldn’t be parents that supported you no matter what. You simply didn’t need them either. You knew Yoosung weren’t like them. And so, you gathered up your courage to come out to him one day. He was fairly surprised when you’d told him you had something to talk about. So, the two of you went out to a café on a Saturday morning to chat.

☆ “Mc!” Yoosung waves to you at the table he had been waiting for you. You nervously wave back at him as you make your way to the table. You sit down with a awkward smile, “I hope you weren’t busy today. I know I kind of called you kind of out of the blue.” He rests his head on his hand on the table with a grin as he replies, “No worries! Besides, even if I were busy, I would always make time for you!”

☆ As always, he was being so sweet. “Oh right! What did you want to talk about? You seemed anxious, is everything okay, Cutie?” You gulp so loud he probably can hear it. You just want to get this over with. Being bi was normal. Why did you have to be scared to say it? “I’ll get straight to the point, I just wanted you to know that I’m bi. I don’t want to keep my mouth shut on this anymore...but please don’t leave me. I love you.”

☆ He sits up straight as he holds your hand over the table. “Babe of course I won’t leave you, I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Nothing between us will change, in fact with another part of you revealed to me, I feel even closer with you!” You start to cry out happy tears as it gets him flustered knocking down his cup of ice tea all over the table. ⋋_⋌

☕️ Jaehee ☕️

☕️ Jaehee and you opened the café just like any other day. When you took out the freshly baked sweets, it immediately spread throughout the café and out the widely opened doors. The fragrance attracted in so many customers. The café soon became absolutely full. As you were helping a young lady and her daughter with their order, a small family catches everyone’s attention at the shop. The man who looks to be the father of a teen begins to lecture him. It causes a ruckus and with Jaehee too busy to notice making drinks at the back, you excuse yourself and head to the small family. “Excuse me, is everything okay here?”

☕️ You try your best to be as nice as possible before he begins to shout at you too. “YES. EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE. WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSTATION HERE, IF YOU DON’T MIND I WOULD APPREACIATE IT IF YOU LET US BE.” You sigh trying to keep your cool, but you notice all the other customers rushing to hurriedly pay and get out. “I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He bangs his fists down on the table startling both his wife and son, but it startles you the most. “HOW DARE A LOWLY WAITER LIKE YOU TELL ME TO LEAVE. WHERE’S YOUR BOSS, HUH? BRING HIM HERE.” He spits at your face, you start to get so uncomfortable.

☕️ “Hello, I’m in charge here and I’m a she not a he. Also I would appreciate it if you would stop throwing reckless insults at my girlfriend.” Jaehee appears from the back. She must’ve heard all the commotion and came out to help you. She pushes him away from you, pissed. BAEHEE I LOVE YOU!

☕️ “GIRLFRIEND? WHATEVER THIS PLACE IS UNBELIEVABLE. WOMEN SHOULD DATE MEN AND MEN SHOULD DATE WOMEN. This is why youngsters these days need more lecturing tsk.” The man rushes out obviously intimated by Jaehee as his wife and son follow him out with an apologetic look to both you and Jaehee. Jaehee doesn’t hesitate to follow after him and give him a proper lecture but stops when she hears a small whimper before crouching down to meet your eyes. You sob so upset at the man’s cruel and untrue words. You know everything he’d said is not true AT ALL but can’t help but remember his words are similar from the words of your mother, it brings you to the floor.

☕️ “What’s wrong Mc? I know his words were harsh but you know none of that is true. Don’t cry because of an insect like him. ” you nod agreeing with her before taking a moment to get your words out, “I know...I know but he reminds me so much of my unsupportive parents when I came out as bi to them.”

☕️ “Oh Mc, don’t cry it’s going to be okay. There’s always going to be so much negativity in the world. Whatever it may be, and that’s not gonna change. Yet, you have to know you have me. And I have you. That’s all that matters.” You hug her and the people that have stayed in the café clap as the both of you have chased the bad man out. You see Jaehee blush for being in the center of attention.┏(＾0＾)┛┗(＾0＾) ┓

🎤 Zen 🎤

🎤 You and Zen cuddle on your shared bed. You begin to feel your eyes close in Zen’s warmth, and you eventually fall asleep to his pleasing lullaby. Your phone begins to ring and when Zen thinks it’d be better to let it be and tell you when you’re awake, he sees it’s your dad. He doesn’t know what to do, you never talk about your family. But he doesn’t want to worry your dad from you not picking up, so...he picks it up.

🎤 “Hello, sir!” He’s super nervous to be talking with your dad for the first time. Your dad is super confused and asks, “Who is this? I thought I was calling my daughter?” Zen carefully lays your sleeping body comfortably on bed out of his arms to sit up at the edge of the bed, he clears his throat. “Yes, you are. I’m her boyfriend she said she told you about me?” Your dad begins to laugh almost... wickedly? “Oh that girl never tells me anything after her mother and I kicked her out of the house.” Zen is so shocked he’s at a loss of words you never mentioned this...

🎤 Zen continued to quietly listen to your father a little...pissed? Maybe you have horrible parents like he did. He starts to really regret picking up your phone, he should’ve asked you first. Regardless, it’s too late to regret it now and your dad continues to chatter on, “I’m glad to know she’s all fixed now. She’s dating an actual man. I was so aggravated when she came out to her mother and I to be bi.” Zen quietly heads to the living room and quickly scratches his head in anger, did your dad just say fix?

🎤 “Excuse me but, if anything it looks like you need more fixing than anyone else. Also, Mc has not been “fixed”. She’d been perfect and she still is perfect in the same way. Dare I say, please don’t call Mc or even show your face anywhere near her if these are the things you tell her.” He ends the call and sees your head down, sitting down near the bedroom door as if you’d collapsed. He rushes over to you and gently holds your shoulder. “Jagiya are you okay? I’m sorry I picked up your call without-”

🎤 “It’s okay...it’s okay as long as you won’t leave me.” you shake your head in fear as Zen raises an eyebrow with a questioning look. “And why would I leave you?”

🎤 “Because I’ve kept it from you! That I’m bi and that I have bad parents. You told me everything, but I told you nothing. You’re probably feeling betrayed...but I really do trust you I really do love you! I was just scared... I know you are nothing like my parents. Ever since I met you, all you have given me was love and support! But it hurts...my dads words...they come back to me everyday and it makes me feel like I should keep it a secret...” He sighs before helping you stand back up on your feet. He fixes your messy hair and wipes away your tears with a gentle swipe.

🎤 “Baby, it’s okay. I know you would’ve eventually told me everything. Don’t feel guilty for not telling me. These are things you tell me when you want to tell me. You just needed time to heal from your parents. Just...overall...please know I love you no matter what. I’ll help you get over their words. I’ll show you what your parents told you were just thorns on a rose. Nothing more than a tragic obstacle from your happiness. Don’t be afraid of something that makes you, you because of the words of someone unsupportive. I know how it feels to have bad parents.” He pulls you into a hug, he feels so warm. You grasp onto his shirt and sob into his abs. You’re once again reminded of how much you love this man. ●ᴥ●

♛ Jumin ♛

♛ You’re attending an fancy business party with Jumin at an fancy hotel. You’re more than happy to attend this party with him. After all, you’d helped him plan for this project with your great creative mind. Not to mention, he loved showing you off.

♛ You and Jumin arrive in a limousine as he held your waist ignoring all the reporters into the front door of the hotel. You both stop at the entrance, four bodyguards around you as he lifts your chin up, you smile so lovingly he gulps before placing a kiss on your lips. “Are you ready, my love?” You nod as you snuggle against him as he holds your waist. All the bodyguards are supposed to guard the entrance so you both enter the main hall alone.

♛ After a few boring conversations of a few businessmen trying to kiss up on Jumin’s ass you excuse yourself to the snack bar much to Jumin’s dismay. Regardless, he nods and you walk away. All these delicious fancy food! You swear you are about to drool. While you’re wondering on what to eat first, someone calls your name and it’s not Jumin’s voice. You feel your heart drop as you clutch your chest before turning around to see your bully in the old days.

♛ Tiffany, she was the “perfect rich girl” at school. And this girl loved making fun of others. You’ve picked on by Tiffany and her followers all four years through high school. All for one reason, you were open about being bi. She and her friends would always call you the ‘gay commoner’. This bish doesn’t even know the meaning of “bi”

♛ Your heart begins to pound as if old memories come back at you like a gun shot. “Wait, hah you’re Mc, right? Wow... this place stoops as low to allow someone like you to come in? A gold digging commoner bitch that married Han Jumin. Oh right, and you’re gay. Be honest, you’re with Jumin because of his money right? You probably have sex with girls behind his back-” Tears swell in your eyes as you throw a slice of cake on her face. It drips down to her dress ‘made out of gold’. “ARE YOU CRAZY? OH MY GOSH, THIS DRESS IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!” cliché shit I’m sorry. Your voice shakes, seeing her brings back your painful memories so vividly. “I can’t believe you’re still so uneducated after all these years! I’m bi not gay! And I see you’re still as immature as ever, haven’t changed that habit of picking on innocent people, huh? Also, you know nothing about my relationship with Jumin! I love him and I don’t care that you and other people point fingers at me. I have not once thought about being with him for money!” You feel a painful sting on your cheek as you look up to see that she’s slapped you.

♛ You bite your lips and she holds her hand up for another slap before she’s stopped with someone’s strong hand. Jumin holds her wrist as he looks at your painful mark, looking back at Tiffany in anger. Oh boy he’s pissed. He had rushed over as soon as he heard your faint yells across the room. “Jumin it’s okay, can you take me somewhere quiet...please?” He nods as he holds your waist to a balcony. The stars outside make you feel so much better as you smile bitterly. “Why was she hurting you, my love? I will make her pay for leaving such a painful wound. Please wait here my love I will call an ambulance right now.” You giggle a little before gently grabbing his hand. “I’ll be okay, please don’t, who calls an ambulance for a slap!” you continue to giggle before collapsing into his embrace. “I used to go to high school with her, and she’d always made fun of me. Because...I’m attracted to both males and females.”

♛ He furrows an eyebrow, “And...why is that something to make fun of?” You shrug, “I don’t know, but I think there’s more to her story. Still, that doesn’t make it okay for her to make fun of me.”

♛ “Of course it’s not. I cannot personally relate to being attracted to both genders, however I do know that’s not something to make fun of.” You look up to meet him in the eyes, “That’s all you have to say? I just came out to you as being bi.” He smiles as he kisses you, “I love you.” You laugh, Jumin is not a man with many words in situations like this. However you do know that this ‘I love you’ is not just a simple confession of love. It’s his way of telling you that he supports you and nothing will change between the two of you. The next day you find a bucket of flowers with a 10,000 lettered apology essay from Tiffany. You later also find out Jumin has stopped partnering with her fathers company. They eventually go bankrupt. (¬‿¬)

👓 Saeyoung 👓

👓 You shake as you look around you, you’re in a empty white void and suddenly, your ex appears in front of your eyes. “You’re bi? What so have you been going off with other girls behind my back?” He slaps you, pushing you down onto the floor. He wraps his hands around your neck so painfully. Your heart could jump out of your chest right then and there. You try to scream out, but your voices don’t leave your mouth. You shake your head denying him, until you’re finally able to open your eyes screaming, “NO!” You gasp for breath, you look around in your shared bedroom with Saeyoung. “MC?” Saeyoung sits up to see you. He scans your body to make sure you’re safe, “What’s wrong baby?”

👓 You shake your head, “I... had a nightmare.” he smiles, “Haha, you’re so cute still getting nightmares. What was it about? Elizabeth the 3rd turning into a monste- ZzZzZz...” He falls asleep again holding onto your waist as his body slides back down to lay. You wrap your arms around his head with a bitter smile before beginning to break down, you gently sob unknowingly. Saeyoung wakes up again, both of your eyes squinting as he turns the lamp on. You take a glance at the clock, it’s 3 am. You feel horrible for waking Sae up.

👓 He sits next to you, gently wiping away your tears. “You’re okay. If it makes you feel better we can talk before going back to bed. What did you have a nightmare about?” At first you’re hesitant, but knowing Sae, the sweetest purest sometimes perverted cinnamon roll you ever know, you felt safe to tell him. Before a warning you blurt it out, “I’m bi.” he smiles as he caresses' your cheeks before he says anything, you continue to talk, “I had a nightmare about my ex...he would beat me up and be so unsupportive of me.” You continue to cry harder painful memories coming back to you, more vividly now that you say it.

👓 He brings you into his arms, “Thank you. Thank you for telling me, you’re so so brave. Do you know that?” He smiles nuzzling his nose to yours. “You’re okay now. And I support you. I love you so much too. I, Saeyoung Defender of Justice will protect you no matter what.” You cringe at his last line, the both of you giggle as you both nuzzle each other back to sleep.

👓 BONUS: Saeyoung never tells you but he hacks into old camera files and sends your ex into jail for emotional and physical abuse. ( ಠ◡ಠ )

🌚 Saeran 🌚

🌚 You are eating dinner with Saeran until you finally come out to him as being bi, it feels as though a heavy anchor on you had been lifted. He pauses for a second looking up at you nodding, he quietly continues to eat his dinner. You feel so upset, that was it? A single nod? You spent days thinking of the right day to tell him this. It took a lot courage to come out to someone. The single nod he gave you continues to replay in your head.

🌚 Clearly upset, you hurriedly shove down your food Saeran constantly telling you that you will get sick if you continue. It didn’t matter, you just wanted to get out of here.

🌚 A while later...you’re in bed with Saeran, everything is so quiet. But Saeran notices how upset you’re after the incident. He mutters a “sorry” and you can tell he genuinely means it but you can’t help but still feel a bit sassy, “For what?”

🌚 “Sorry for being indifferent when you came out to me. Thank you for doing that. I appreciate your bravery. But I don’t know how to react- how you want me to react. Of course I’ll be supportive of you...but the wrong words would rather be disrespectful...so...sorry...I don’t know the right words to tell you. I’m not good at this kind of stuff.” You kiss him as you pull him onto the bed. “Thank you. That means so much. I’m sorry too, I got sensitive.”

🌚 The two of you fall asleep so secure and loved in each others embrace.

♧ Jihyun ♧

♧ It’s been a week since you’ve came out to Jihyun about being bi, he was unconditionally supportive and loving. One day, You and Jihyun decide to go to the mall as you insisted in buying him new clothes. He was so bad at dressing himself. Without realizing it Jihyun brought his glasses and cane, even when he could see now with his eye surgery.

♧ He smiles wholeheartedly when you continue to be amused by all the cool stuff at the mall. Someone suddenly comes from behind putting a hand on your shoulder that was between you and Jihyun. Jihyun elbows them in surprise before calmly apologizing, “Ah, I’m sorry.” the man looked to be in pain but he tried to act fine as he said “It’s fine.” His friend in the back whispered “Wow look at his cane, he’s blind.” they all began to laugh.

♧ You were about to shout at them but after seeing Jihyun simply just raising an eyebrow you just cross your arms at them before attempting to walk away. “Hey hey, I’m not done yet. Aren’t you Mc?” He roughly pulls your wrist, it makes you unwantedly unlink arms with Jihyun. “Hey, you are! Remember me? You tried to date my girlfriend.” You shiver as you realize him. Your old classmate. You had confessed your interest to his girlfriend during your senior years, however you had no idea she had a boyfriend. It wasn’t your fault, you’d even apologized to him and her afterwards. He’d never forgot you though when he sweared that the reason for him breaking up with his girlfriend was because of you.

♧ Your stomach turned, heart dropping, as his glares came in to you like stinging daggers. Jihyun hides you behind him as he nicely tells them, “It would be better not to make a commotion here.” The men mockingly copy his words in a idiotic tone. Your anger boils, but Jihyun is calm as always. “Mc you’ve gotten greedier, eh? Women weren’t enough, now you want both men and women?” Your heart drops, as the anger in you all shred into tears. However, you hold them back. Where had it all gone wrong? After all those painful years, you almost forgot it all after getting into Rika’s apartment and helping everyone recover from their painful past. You forgot you had a painful past of your own, one you’d never recovered from. One that still lingers somewhere in your heart till this day. You shake yourself back to reality when you notice Jihyun holding onto your hand.

♧ Jihyun shoves the man away like a feather with his cane when he attempts to approach the two of you. Eventually the security guards come and separate them from the both of you. Jihyun embraces you in his warmth as he reminds you, “You know all those foolish things those men said are not true, darling.” His words are rather short that what you’d imagined him to say. However his words are comforting regardless.

♧ Later you find out Jumin, Jihyun, and Saeyoung have been working on something but you don’t quite know what...you brush it off. They’ve been working on ruining the life of those two rude ass men at the mall. (⌒o⌒)

The quality of my writing started to drop from Saeyoung I’m so sorry. I might come back to them and fix them later on...∑(゜Д゜;)

#mysme headcanons #mysme unknown #mysme ray #mysme saeran #mysme yoosung #mysme jumin #mysme jaehee #mysme hyun ryu #mysme hyun #mysme zen #mysme 707 #mysme luciel #mysme saeyoung #mysme v #mysme jihyun #mystic messenger

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coolabed-films · 4 years

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who are your favorite Community character(s)? ships? episodes? feel free to use this as an excuse to talk about anything Community-related that you want to talk about!

thank you so much for this ask but you don't know what you've done,,, the community brainrot I have is truly unmatched I could ramble about it for hours hdkfkg

My favourite characters have got to be the golden trio of Troy/Annie/Abed (with Troy being my favourite if I had to choose) and I really do think a huge reason for that is the sense of family and comfort they all have with each other. Like obviously I LOVE Jeff and Britta (I am a proud member of the Britta Perry Deserves Better Society) but their age and experience makes them very selfish and nihilistic in comparison to the really sweet optimism trobedison all have. And god TROY!! like what if I was a socially isolated neurodiverse college student who uses film/TV to understand and cope with reality and you joined a Spanish study group with me where we became best friends and you gave me all the love and affection I could ever dream of 😳😳 ahaha jk... unless?? I love Abed and Annie because of the Projection but Troy is like the best friend I wish I had!! I am willfully ignoring geothermal escapism rn please and thank u 😌

Also I always have to s/o to Shirley because I am also a proud member of the Shirley Barnes Deserves Better Society and if I don't give her the respect she deserves who will! Narratively she absolutely got fucked over (Repilot what's ur address I just wanna talk) but she still manages to be a great character despite that. Yvette is so good in the role comedically and emotionally and it makes her a really fun character to watch despite the fact that she's bogged down by the fact that she's conventionally quite boring (a conservative Christian housewife). The fact that we actually get some Shirley development is one of the best parts of season 5 imo (again not including Repilot H*rm*n pick up the phone).

With shipping I'm pretty chill with most pairings because the show really does make it so almost any relationship could happen and it would fit- like I will die on the lesbiannie hill but abedison and even troy/annie (do they have a ship name?) are very cute and I'd have been chill if they got together on the show. Also one-sided Annie/Frankie and Brittannie >>>

I mean I even have a soft spot for Deanjeff which is def not something I'd have said the first time I watched lol. The only ships I'm not a fan of are j/a and pierce/anyone for very obvious reasons.

The pairings I actively ship though are (to the surprise of no one!) jeffbritta and trobed. It has all been said before but Troy and Abed literally complete each other and they are the greatest and most tragic lovestory of all time!! God! Honestly I feel similarly about Jeffbritta- they make each other better, you know? They truly understand each other on a level the other members of the group cannot and the penultimate episode of season five showcases it so well. It's such a small scene but when they agree to get married it's really one of my favourites because it's so small but so perfectly them. They're also bi solidarity so 💆‍♀️

There's a great fic called Introduction to Federal Investigation by Scioscribe and dare I say it,,,, Britta/ATF guy rights.

For everyone's sake I will not be going into detailed explanations of why I love them but some (definitely not all lol) of my favourite episodes are:

Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas (the medium switch! the use of genre to explore a character in the way only community can! the christmas pterodactyl!)

Intermediate Documentary Filmaking/Documentary Filmmaking: Redux (some of the funniest episodes- LeVar Burton, Jeff Winger's Dumb Gay Dad, the "to meet different people" bit, Jeff as the dean, all simply *chef's kiss*)

Studies in Modern Movement (trobedison. kiss from a rose. jesus loves marijuana. yes ❤️)

Queer Studies and Advanced Waxing (Community exploring the dean's sexuality shouldn't make me as feral as it does. and yet!! Gay dean is great, I love the karate kid b plot, and they actually Made Points about the way hets treat gay rep. I adore this episode)

I'm sorry this was so long lmfao 😭 I would do a readmore option but I'm on mobile and have absolutely no clue how. Thank you for the ask!! <3

#me: makes a sideblog just to talk about community #me when i use it to talk about community: omg dude. be quiet. why are u still talking. stop it #natalia shut up challenge #paradigmsofbrittaperry #ask tag

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et-lesailes · 5 years

Text

controversy

pairing: chris evans x reader

themes: light angst

word count: 1670

summary: dating chris evans while being a celebrity yourself, you are strongly encouraged to make choices that will benefit your public image. when chris’ latest movie tanks with the critics, your manager insists that one of these choices be breaking up with him.

taglist: @viarogers, @evanstush, @chibi-crazy, @chalamet-evans, @world-of-losers,@songforhema @sebabestianstan101 @tanyam93 @b-val1@wonderwinchester@little-miss-exo @poerebel @bitchbabes-world @gogomez-509

note: requested by @immajustreadwritereblog // thank you for waiting, love! i actually really liked this request because i have a lot of strong feelings and opinions on the rsdr drama and so i had a lot of muse writing this. also, to anyone reading this- if you’re like me and hate sad endings (yes i’m a hypocrite for hating them yet writing one anyways ok i know), let me know if you’d like to see a part 2 ;)

** please send an ask if you would like to be added to my taglist of any chris evans related fics!

You sighed as your eyes skimmed what felt like the thirtieth article you were receiving via text that day, too tired and upset to properly read it. Your manager was spamming you with messages, insisting you call her, but you did not have the strength. You knew everything she was going to tell you; you had been in the business long enough to know how it all worked. It was no secret that the Hollywood life was twisted underneath all of the extravagant parties, lavish mansions and penthouse homes, and exotic vacations. You and your boyfriend weren’t very caught up in that life, anyways-- the two of you were much more simple, enjoying your time in your apartment with his dog, Dodger, and taking trips to visit his family in Boston-- nothing grandiose. Unfortunately, that did not mean you could avoid the gossip, scandal, and pressure that came from being a celebrity.

“Break up with him. You can get back together with him later, when this all blows over, but you can’t afford bad publicity right now. Not with your new movie coming up.”

You’ve read the message from your manager over and over again, feeling disgusted for several reasons. Not just from her suggestion, but because of the fact that this is the life you’re associated with. You chose this life, you chose to deal with these consequences.

You closed your eyes for a few seconds before finally looking at the article more properly. “Netflix’s Red Sea Diving Resort gives Chris Evans a white savior complex,” the title blared, making your eyebrows furrow in annoyance. However, the current problem in your relationship was not because of your image potentially getting ruined due to being in a relationship with the man now surrounded by controversy.

The current problem was that ever since the movie and its negative reviews, Chris had been a different person. The man who used to be constantly smiling, joking around, and showering you with love and affection 24/7 was now far more reserved and quiet, his eyes having lost their slightly mischievous twinkle. You completely understood. As an actress, you knew how difficult it was to be passionate about a project only to have it completely tank; it was especially difficult for Chris because of how hard on himself he was. He was selective with the roles he played-- he picked the ones that stood out to him, that meant something to him rather than going for anything that would give him more fame and success. You remembered how intrigued he had been by Red Sea Diving Resort when he had first heard of the idea, you remembered how excited he was to learn of the conflict and culture and how he hoped he could bring more awareness and meaning to it on the screen. You completely understood why he would act differently, and you understood why he might be slightly distracted from your relationship.

But it had been nearly an entire month since the movie was released, and you still felt as though you hadn’t had a proper conversation with your boyfriend in the same amount of time. You were not exactly happy about this; as his girlfriend, you wanted Chris to be able to communicate with you, to be able to let you help him when he was struggling. You were understanding in the beginning, but it was becoming too much now. You did not want to break up with him for the sake of your image, but rather for the sake of your own sanity. You missed having your best friend, but if he was not going to let you be his best friend, then did you have a choice?

One more chance.

You decided you would give him one more chance. Whether you were doing this to be fair or because you couldn’t let go, you didn’t know, but you didn't want to think about it deeper.

He walked into the apartment back from the gym and you looked up, your heart already stinging. In the past, he would have come straight to you, scooping you up roughly in his arms only to playfully bounce you around and tell you something silly along the lines of, “I like using you for lifting much better than weights, baby girl!” But now, he just came over with a mumbled hello, giving you a somewhat distracted kiss on the head before going into the bedroom.

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to be patient. Coming over to the bedroom, you asked gently, “How was the gym?”

“Hm? Oh, it was good.”

“What’d ya work on today?”

“Oh, just arms and abs. Nothing special.”

“Are you free tonight? Maybe we could go out, get dinner or ice cream or something, it’s been a while…”

“Ah, I really wish I could babe, but I’m kind of tired today. I’m probably going to call it a night pretty early. But you should go out with some friends or something, maybe see if--”

“Are you serious, Chris?”

You finally snapped, nothing but misery and annoyance in your eyes as you looked at him. He blinked, clearly more concerned now as he straightened up from where he had been lounging on the bed. “What, baby?” he asked with a frown, and you scoffed, feeling tears stinging at your eyes simply from all the built up stress and frustration from the past month. “Are you really that oblivious? You’re seriously blind to the fact that we’ve practically been nothing more than roommates these days? When’s the last time you’ve even kissed me and meant it?”

He sighed deeply, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, you know it’s nothing to do with you. I’ve just been feeling a little stressed lately. The media’s really been killing me over here, doll.”

If he had told you this a couple of weeks ago, you would have felt sympathy, but not now. “The media’s been killing you for four weeks now, Chris, and I get it. It sucks. But I’m your girlfriend, you’re allowed to vent to me about this stuff, you’re allowed to tell me how you feel! Do you really think shutting yourself in like this and keeping quiet is going to do anything? You used to be so open with me, does that need to change because of a setback?” You sat down next to him, trying to blink back tears; you hated that you cried when you were angry, it really took away from trying to take charge of the situation. “We’re actors, Chris. This kind of thing happens, you know that. And it’s awful, and it makes us feel crappy, but we’re in it together now. You’ll bounce back from this because you’re an amazing and talented actor and you have fans who know that.” You sniffed as you looked away, talking softly, “You have every right to be upset about the situation. But you had no right to toss me aside in the process.” He seemed heartbroken as he listened to you, which only hurt you even more, but you ignored it as you stood up.

“Did you know my manager’s been nagging me to dump you for the past few weeks? Because of how Red Sea Diving Resort turned out?” You scoffed bitterly as you looked away, crossing your arms over your chest. “I could never, ever break up with you for something so shallow. You mean way more to me than some dumb Rotten Tomatoes review. But this, Chris? Ignoring me, shutting me out, wallowing in your self pity-- I think these things are all pretty good reasons as to why I should listen to my manager and end it.” You knew your words were harsh, but perhaps that was what he needed. A slap in the face, like reality often dealt out.

You looked back to him. He was quiet, there was pain in his eyes. You waited, but he did not say anything. Making a soft noise of disappointment and disgust, you turned around, going into the closet and grabbing a bag, starting to throw clothes inside. This seemed to stir something within him; he immediately stood up with wide eyes, coming over and taking hold of your shoulders. “Baby, please. No. Fuck, I-- fuck, babe, I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry. You’re completely right.” He turned you around so that you were facing him, nothing but guilt and sorrow in his blue orbs. “And I should have realized it earlier. I don’t know what got into me baby, I’ve just been so damn worked up over this, everything else slipped away…”

His apology meant a lot, but you still couldn’t help but feel betrayed from all the built up tension. “And what if it’s too late for an apology?” you whispered, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. “What if the damage has been done?”

He looked down at you, his own eyes tearing up as he shook his head. “Please. No. No, baby, don’t leave me, I’m done sulking, I’m done being a fucking baby about this. I didn’t even fucking realize how bad it was, I know that sounds dumb but I was so caught up in all of the Red Sea shit. I know that’s not an excuse, but please, please baby, forgive me..”

You took a deep breath, wiping at your eyes. “I need some time, Chris, you really hurt me over the past month. I’ve made the mistake of giving the wrong people a second chance, and I need to think about if you’re the right person.” You could feel your heart tear apart as you saw a tear roll down his cheek; standing on your tiptoes, you wiped his tears as you kissed his cheek. “I’ll call you, alright? I.. I still love you, Chris. I just need time.”

With that, you took your packed bag and walked out of the apartment, forcing yourself not to look back at the love of your life’s face.

#chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans angst #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you

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paradigmsofbrittaperry · 3 years

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For the writing ask game - number 20. I love your writing and I love hearing writers talking about miniature details in their writing that they're proud of. So it's like a win-win!

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

firstly, thank you!! secondly, my first truly long project has been RCOALS, so there’s been a lot of continuity/callbacks/foreshadowing throughout that whole project. the first example that I thought of is how in chapter one, at the back-to-school party, Jeff and Abed talk about Britta and their failed engagement in Jeff’s kitchen while everyone else is dancing in the living room. Jeff denies his feelings for Britta and promises that they won’t fall into old patterns, then shares a drink with Abed. in chapter ten, at Britta’s birthday party, they have another conversation in the kitchen as the others are dancing in the living room (but in apartment 303 this time instead of Jeff and Britta’s) where Jeff happily admits to Abed that him and Britta have been sleeping together again. this time, it ends with Abed telling Jeff to go dance with her while he stays behind in the kitchen to observe all of his friends (which is also a little bit of foreshadowing for the Abed arc I’ve been attempting to build into that fic!). it’s a beat in the arc I wanted to write for Jeff; one where he’s finally able to admit what Greendale means to him without his usual sarcasm or snark. he’s been able to admit his love for his friends for a while, but even throughout season 6, he couldn’t really say that he loved Greendale itself, and never had a proper story addressing his commitment issues, so those are both things that I wanted to change and address!! I’ve been really ambitious with the character arcs I’ve put into that project and I’m not always 100% certain that I can pull certain ones off, but it’s been fun to try! planning this thing has been a beast in itself, I’ve talked about it a little before, but the document I have to plan all of it out is a little bonkers. I’m keeping track of what information characters know about each other, trying to maintain a realistic and consistent timeline that makes sense, making plans to introduce and utilize side characters, outlining chapters, writing bits of dialogue as they come to me, and more. so!! long winded way of saying that I really love and appreciate when readers catch onto specific details and notice callbacks like the paralleled party scenes or mention development like Jeff’s.

as for something that’s not RCOALS, I was lowkey proud of the ‘silver and gold’ motif that I used in Precious Metals, Humble Outsiders, and You since I’m a sucker for figurative language. and fun fact about The Art of Active Observation: that work was heavily based on conversations that my World Lit class has been having. everything from the line “The things that make us imperfect make us real.” to “Working in absolutes would mean that life was meaningless; that they were all cosmic machinery designed to follow detailed handbooks and bulleted lists. Possibilities and probabilities were more comforting.” was taken pretty much straight from the conversations my class has been having about determinism and the book Notes from Underground!

and as for references, the thing that I have the most fun referencing is honestly my real life lol. Britta had a terrible track record with bowling double dates and the group took photos in a bowling alley photo booth in Overcoming Obstacles and Making It Work because I once went on an exceptionally terrible double date to a bowling alley that was one of the more chaotic experiences that I’ve ever had, and I felt a need to give part of that experience to these fictional characters. the entire pinball museum chapter in RCOALS is based on my own love of pinball and desire to go back to the pinball museum that my family used to frequent (I will be there the minute I have my second shot I SWEAR), Rachel and Annie sing along to Mr. Brightside in the car on the way to their first date in First Dates for Dummies b/c I once sang along to that song with a girl I loved while in her car, I could honestly go on and on. it’s to a point where if one of my good friends found my work without knowing it was mine, they’d probably be able to tell anyway if they read enough of it. I usually just weave memories and stories of mine into my work because they either a) involve people I love and thus are an easy way to help give a scene more emotional weight since I’m weaving in something so heavily imbued with my own emotions or b) have the same chaotic energy that Community exudes.

WOW I did a lot of talking, but ask for meta and you shall receive!! thanks for giving me an excuse to ramble <3

#bri speaks #ask box #writing tag

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petrichoravellichor · 5 years

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Can I please have a (platonic) Balthazar and Castiel in the prompt “-some dude with a megaphone is spewing homophopic crap outside the cafeteria and we’re both protesting him because the college is adamnant about his freedom of speech rights, make out with me to piss him off?”

Can I Get an Amen

Relationship: Balthazar & Cas (platonic)

Other Characters: Sam Winchester, Naomi (unnamed, but it’s her)

Rating: T

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Balthazar POV, Bi-/Pansexual Balthazar, Slightly Hippie!Cas (like, a mixture of Endverse!Cas + Crazy!Cas), Bees, Homophobic Language (which gets shut the fuck down), Very Exaggerated Make-Out Session Between Friends (to piss off a homophobe, so it’s for a good cause)

(Ao3)

*****

When Sam’s alarm went off at seven a.m., Balthazar’s first thought upon jarring awake was that he was going to throw the bloody phone out the window. (He didn’t, because doing so would have required him to get up, but it was a near thing.) Balthazar had no idea what sort of cosmic fuck-up he’d committed in a previous life to get landed with a roommate for whom going for an early morning run beat out having a lie-in, but as he grumbled under his breath while Sam rose and dressed, he felt fairly certain that fate was having a laugh at his expense.

Sam, the bastard, found this all very amusing.

“You know,” Sam said mildly as he sat on the edge of his bed and did up his shoelaces, seemingly impervious to the death-glare Balthazar was giving him, “it wouldn’t kill you to get up a few hours before your first class. You don’t even have to exercise: you could just, like, read or get some extra studying in or something.”

Balthazar snorted. “I could, yes, but why on earth would I,” he said, stretching luxuriously beneath his sheets, “when I could just as easily stay in bed and dream of having a ménage à-whatever-French-for-twelve is?”

“Okay, one, it’s douze, and two, ew. Also, don’t even pretend like you could keep up with that many women.”

“Mm, bold of you to assume they were all women.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Anyway,” he said, standing, “I’m gonna go. Have fun dreaming about naked people.”

He left, and Balthazar promptly buried his head under his pillow, determined to fall back asleep. He gave up after half an hour of angry tossing and turning, rising in a huff and stomping over to his dresser. If he was doomed to be awake this early, then he might as well go down to the quad and fetch himself something caffeinated to drink.

Ten minutes later, he was trudging down the steps outside the dorm building and mulling over various forms of revenge—his current favorite consisted of tossing out one of Sam’s beloved running shoes, then watching with glee as Sam searched for it in vain—when he heard a voice from the lawn to his left:

“You’re up early.”

Balthazar turned and spotted his friend Cas, who was currently dressed in a loose-fitting shirt and sweats; he was barefoot, balancing on one leg with the other tucked up under him, palms pressed together, and was peering at Balthazar with a mixture of surprise and amusement. “I didn’t know you even existed before noon.”

Balthazar sighed. “Yes, well, annoying roommates with early alarms are annoying.”

“Ah.” Cas shifted into a different pose, placing both feet flat on the grass and raising his arms above his head. “And here I thought I’d finally convinced you to try yoga with me.”

“Cassie, the day I willingly twist myself into a pretzel while both clothed and sober is the day I forgive you for making me sit through three hours of that god-awful Titanic movie.”

“You’re just mad because you hate Celine Dion.”

“It’s not her I hate, it’s that bloody song! And furthermore,” Balthazar added, pointedly ignoring Cas’s snicker, “our dear Rose’s heart wouldn’t have had to go on if she’d just done a better job of making room for Jack on that piece of fucking debris.”

“It was a door.”

“It was a travesty, is what it was, and I’ll thank you to quit bringing it up. Now then,” he said, jerking his thumb in the direction of the quad, “I’m going for a latte. Care to join me? Or have you still got to do your downward doggy-style or what have you?”

Cas rolled his eyes and reached for his sandals. “It’s downward dog, and no, I’m done.”

“Brilliant, you’re buying.”

They headed toward the quad, Cas talking animatedly about some new Save the Bees project he and a few others in the Environmental Club were hoping to kick off soon. Balthazar, who was busy trying to decide if he wanted a muffin or a scone with his latte, was only half listening, a decision he regretted when he heard Cas say, with a hint of smugness, “I knew I could count on you,” and, after a quick mental replay, realized that he’d just agreed to attend an all-day event that coming weekend. Fuck. He opened his mouth to give an excuse when a commotion ahead caught his attention.

A small crowd had gathered at the edge of the quad; as Balthazar and Cas neared, Balthazar saw that at its center was a middle-aged brunette woman dressed in formal clothing who was speaking into a megaphone:

“…TIME HAS COME TO RENOUNCE YOUR SINFUL LIFESTYLE AND REMEMBER THAT ONLY THROUGH GOD’S GRACE CAN YOU ENTER THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT MAN SHALL NOT LIE WITH MEN AS HE DOES WITH WOMEN, THAT IT IS AN AB—”

“—SOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL WAY TO SPEND A FRIDAY NIGHT!” interjected Balthazar, causing the woman to pause and several heads to turn in their direction.

The woman lowered her megaphone. She looked from Balthazar to Cas and back again. “I am here to spread the Lord’s teachings to you and others like you, those who have been led astray by immoral temptations of the flesh. You should thank me.”

Balthazar let out a bitter laugh. “Thank you? What on earth for?”

The woman frowned. “I told you, I’m here to spread the Lord’s teachings—”

Balthazar cut her off. “You did, twice. Good for you.” He crossed his arms. “But, you see, we’re a litter-free campus, so it’d be lovely if you took your rubbish elsewhere.”

Several of the surrounding students cheered. The woman glanced around, seemingly unsure. “I have a permit. I’m allowed to be here.”

“We’re students,” said Cas. “We pay money to be here.” Even more people cheered. “And incidentally, the line you’re referring to, Leviticus 18:22, condemns pedophilia, not homosexuality.”

Balthazar turned to Cas. “What, really?”

“Yes. The original wording translates to ‘man shall not lie with young boys’.” Cas regarded the woman coolly. “Also, since you claim to concern yourself with the word of God, I’d check the tag on that suit. Leviticus 19:19 prohibits wearing garments that mix linen and wool.”

The woman pressed her lips together in a thin line. “I will not be lectured on my faith by a young man who has clearly lost his way.”

“I’m not lecturing you,” responded Cas. “I’m simply telling you what the Bible says.”

“You mock me.”

“You do that to yourself.”

The woman scowled, eyes boring into Cas. “There are places that can help you, programs that can teach you to make more Godly choices.”

“You’re referring to so-called conversion therapy,” said Cas, and though he was still speaking calmly, there was an edge to his voice that Balthazar rarely heard, “a practice that has been discredited by every leading expert on human sexuality for over two decades.”

“Despite what you think, it can be effective if you’re willing, if you want to be fixed—”

“We’re not broken,” said Cas. “Your beliefs are.”

“Now wait just a minute—”

“Oh, piss off!” snapped Balthazar. Cas might have had the patience to deal with this sort of thing uncaffeinated, but he most certainly did not. “Aren’t there more important things you could spend your energy bitching about? Take bees, for example: they’re dropping dead at an alarming rate, which could have frankly catastrophic effects on our food supply, but no, you’re right, let’s get all dressed up and tell gay people they’re going to hell because they have the audacity to be themselves, that’s clearly the bigger priority.”

Cas gave him a surprised smile. “You were listening about the bees.”

“Of course I was listening, I’m a wonderful friend like that. Speaking of,” said Balthazar, turning to Cas with a raised eyebrow, “fancy a friendly snog to piss off this hag?”

Cas thought a moment, then shrugged. “Why not?”

“That’s the spirit,” said Balthazar bracingly, grabbing a fistful of Cas’s shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

There was no real heat to it—at the end of the day, Balthazar knew Cas was about as romantically interested in him as he was in Cas; that is to say, not at all—but in for a penny, in for a pound. Balthazar closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Cas’s shoulders, letting out an exaggerated moan; he could feel Cas practically shaking with suppressed laughter and gave him a very subtle pinch. Cas let out a muffled snort before gasping, “Oh, Balthazar!” in mock passion and pressing their lips more firmly together; he even groaned a bit, which at which point it was Balthazar’s turn to bite back a chuckle.

Thankfully, their tactic worked: the students around them erupted into applause, and scarcely five seconds had passed before the woman let out an affronted huff and stormed off. Once the sound of her heels had sufficiently faded, Balthazar cracked an eye open and, with the visual confirmation that she was gone, gave Cas a tap on the shoulder, stepping back with a grin. “Well, that went swimmingly, wouldn’t you say?”

Cas looked off in the direction the woman had gone. “It did seem to have the desired effect, although,” he added, lips twitching in a poorly concealed smirk as he reached into his pocket and produced a tube of organic lip balm, “you probably need this more than I do.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “Oh, we’re giving post-snogging critiques, are we? Here, then.” He took the lip balm and, in exchange, held out a small tin of mints. “You absolutely need this more than I do.”

Cas snorted, accepting the mints and making a show of popping one into his mouth; Balthazar, for his part, applied a liberal amount of lip balm. “Right, then,” he said, smacking his lips together and pocketing the tube, “coffee?”

#balthazar #cas & balthazar #balthazar & cas #supernatural #spn #fanfiction #my writing #can i get an amen #cw: homophobic language #cw: homophobia

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lailaliquorice · 5 years

Text

learned to travel light

big trigger warning for eating disorders and small self harm reference

this is a heavy one loves. being open, it’s pretty much four thousand words of projection which I’ve wanted to write for a long time and has been a little bit therapeutic to be honest. but please take the trigger warnings seriously, and anyone is so welcome to message me if they need to talk to someone. I poured my heart out into this one and I’m really proud of it but please take care of yourselves

my amazing sibling @jarneiarichardnxel wrote a character study from aragon’s point of view which offshoots from this which you can find here. abs I love you so much and thank you for always being up for our headcanon sessions <3

Anne was used to being told she was too much.

It was the epitome of everything she’d been criticised for in her old life: too loud, too opinionated, just too much for a queen. And somehow the comment occasionally followed through to this new life that she’d hoped so desperately would be a new fresh start. She was still too loud, still too opinionated, and too pushy on stage and constantly trying to make everything about her at the expense of her fellow queens. For the most part though, she could chalk those comments up to her just following the script since that was all people saw of her and not take them to heart too much.

But suddenly there was also the added ammunition of the twenty first century standards she’d suddenly found herself measured by. Suddenly it wasn’t just her personality that was too much. She was too tall, too awkward, standing out against the rest of the queens. It was enough to make her skin crawl whenever she put her costume and caught her reflection in the full length mirror.

Sat in her costume at the dressing room table after a show, a quick glance through social media while she got her breath back wiped the smile from her face as someone had thought to tag the show account in a hard hitting comment. ‘Saw six for the first time and honestly couldn’t stand boleyn after 5 mins. Idk how the other queens put up with her when the show’s over. And she sticks out like a sore thumb in that skimpy outfit.’

Shame burned at the back of her throat as she subconsciously covered the gap between her top and her skirt with one hand. Normally she loved her costume but in the space of a split second she felt uncomfortable with so much of herself on show, wishing she had a dress like Jane’s that didn’t leave her stomach and her arms and her legs so exposed.

“Oi! Cleves calling Boleyn, are you receiving?”

Anna’s shout made Anne jump in her seat, giving Anna a shaky smile as she laughed at her reaction. “Sorry Anna, in a world of my own there. Did you say something?”

“I said we’re all going to the pub for dinner when we’re changed, you coming?” Anna repeated.

Normally Anne would have nodded immediately, always eager to spend a night out with her friends after a tiring day. But her first thought instead went to the comments on her phone, the constant reminder of how she was too loud and too overbearing every time she refreshed the page. “Not tonight, gonna go home and go to bed early,” she said with a quick shake of her head.

Both Anna and Aragon looked surprised, but to Anne’s relief they didn’t comment on it. “Alright babes, get some rest,” Anna said, picking up her costume to take down to wardrobe before she left for the night. “Usual drill, let someone know you’re home and all that, alright?”

“Yeah,” Anne nodded, deliberately keeping her eyes trained on Anna so she didn’t have to meet Aragon’s concerned expression that she could feel boring into the side of her skull.

She looked back down at her phone as Anna left, waiting for Aragon to leave before she got changed into her own clothes since the thought of any more of her body being on view for scrutiny made her stomach knot. But she couldn’t keep avoiding Aragon when she walked over and leaned on the desk right next to where Anne was sitting. “Are you ok” she asked quietly.

Anne immediately plastered the most convincing smile she could muster on her face, desperately hoping that Aragon’s kind eyes couldn’t see through her mask. “Yeah, I’m fine, promise,” she said quickly, any gratitude for the concern quashed by her desperate wish that Aragon would leave her to her shame.

Aragon gave a nod of acceptance though her eyes betrayed her lack of conviction. “Alright. If you’re not having dinner with us then I’ve got some leftovers in the fridge from last night you can have,” she said, repeating Anna’s request that Anne let them know when she was home before she left and shut the dressing room door behind her.

The minute she was alone Anne sagged, not needing to keep up the pretence any longer. She closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself the energy to get up and go home and not just sit in her chair gathering dust until the next show, and after giving a tired huff she pushed herself up and started to take her hairpieces out. She deliberately kept her gaze towards the floor as changed out of her costume as fast as possibly but still managed to catch the odd glimpse of herself in the mirrors surrounding her and winced every time she did so.

Once home she did send a text to the group chat. But she didn’t eat Aragon’s leftovers.

~~~

The same pattern repeated itself several times more over the course of the next few weeks. It wasn’t only meals out, if a couple of the other queens were eating at the table together then Anne would come up with a hasty excuse to take her plate up to her room so she wouldn’t have to bother them by joining them. The more time progressed the fewer meals she would actually eat, more times than not just letting it go cold as she continued to distract herself with a tv show or something before emptying the plate into the bin once the others had gone to bed.

She didn’t know when the aim of her behaviour transitioned from avoiding mealtimes to avoiding meals themselves. The feeling of hunger became something she could fixate on to avoid thinking about how much she was burdening everyone. Having absolute control over her food felt like a lifeline after being so used to drifting uncontrollably through her past life dictated by others.

If she knew she had to be present for dinner then any thought of lunch would go out the window so she could compensate, and she’d spend the entire meal fidgeting in her chair and pushing food around her plate to distract from how little she was eating. She kept quiet for the most part so as not to bother the others with her presence but made sure she was chatty whenever someone spoke to her, desperately making sure that no-one picked up on anything she didn’t want them too. That no-one picked up on the fact that those mealtimes made her so anxious she wanted to cry.

When the hunger kept her up at night she distracted herself with the thought that she was doing everyone a favour. If everyone thought she was too much then she would make herself smaller; smaller emotionally, smaller physically, small enough that no-one could criticise her anymore.

It was only a few weeks before she started seeing changes whenever she could bear to look in the mirror. And as she stared at her reflection, hollow cheeks and angular shoulders and visible collarbones, she couldn’t quite make up her mind whether it scared her or not.

So she kept going.

The biggest change in her after noticing those results was that the usually cuddly and clingy Anne couldn’t bear the idea of anyone touching her anymore. It wasn’t the fear of being touched itself – secretly she still craved that as much as she refused to admit it to herself – it was the fear of anyone else noticing something different about her body. She knew that what she could see in the mirror had to be noticeable beneath other people’s hands, which was a risk she couldn’t take.

Shrinking beneath Anna patting her on the shoulder and wriggling out from Cathy’s arm around her or Jane and Kat’s hugs felt like an arrow to her own heart, but she knew she had to do it. What hurt the most though were the shadows of worry in Aragon’s eyes whenever she watched Anne doing so. The thought that she was disappointing Aragon above anyone else felt infinitely worse than she had ever expected it to.

She’d noticed Aragon keeping a close eye on her more and more as time and habits progressed, bringing her to try avoiding Aragon’s watchful gaze whenever humanely possible in an attempt to throw her off. But she knew that she couldn’t hide forever.

Anne was sat at the table in the kitchen that evening, elbows rested on the tabletop and head hanging between hunched shoulders. She’d done her usual routine of pretending to take her dinner upstairs but not taking a mouthful and emptying the plate as soon as everyone had gone to bed, but an unexpected wave of dizziness and exhaustion had left her near-collapsed on a chair with her empty plate next to her. Her breathing was heavy as she tried to ignore the dark spots in her vision, heart beating a panicky rhythm at the thought of someone walking into the kitchen and seeing her in that state.

Sure enough, the sound of someone coming down the stairs was followed by the kitchen light being flicked on and a soft gasp as she was spotted. Anne screwed her eyes shut as the footsteps continued towards her, knowing it was too late to make a run for it now even if she thought her shaking knees would be able to carry her up two flights of stairs.

“Anne?”

It was Aragon. Anne hardly responded to the sound of her name being called, just winced slightly when she placed a gentle hand on Anne’s arm after sitting down beside her. “Anne, what’s going on?”

Anne couldn’t make herself answer for a couple of seconds, her mind too occupied by the emptiness in her stomach and her unsteady breathing and the fear that Aragon could feel every bone in her shoulderblade. “Nothing’s going on, I’m fine,” she answered, but even she could hear the weariness in her voice.

“Don’t.” Aragon’s tone was firm yet gentle as she shook her head, and when she removed her hand from Anne’s shoulder Anne managed to look round and just about meet her gaze. “Don’t say that. I know something’s wrong. There’s things I’ve noticed that aren’t ok and I’m worried about you.”

She might have continued to push Aragon away if it wasn’t for that last comment. It was the first indication she’d been given that what she was doing to herself wasn’t better for the other queens, that they might have possibly been happy with her the way she was. Even while the louder voice in her mind shoved that idea away almost immediately, she couldn’t help the shaky “What?” that escaped her lips.

Even with the forgiveness in Aragon’s voice softening the blow, Anne couldn’t help but feel as if she was being read out a list of her crimes. “You’re quieter, you look exhausted all the time, you don’t have the same energy during the show that you used to. And while the others all think you’re just having an off few weeks, I think I know what the cause of it might be.”

Anne was silent as she watched Aragon tap the plate that was still sat like a barrier between them.

“Back in the time following Arthur’s death I was kept here to wait for Henry to come of age,” Aragon started after a long pause. Anne wondered briefly why there was such a note of hesitation in her voice and glimmer of fear in her eyes, but that was answered as soon as she continued. “I was a pawn for both our fathers; I had no control over my life and my future. So I took control over one of the few things I had the power too.”

“Food,” Anne said quietly, filling in the blank where she paused.

Aragon gave a single nod. “I fasted excessively during those years. I believed it would bring me closer to God, hoped that He would be more inclined to answer my prayers and secure my future. It became an obsession with surviving on as little food as I could and I welcomed the suffering it caused me, since like many I believed that pain brought me closer to Christ.”

She broke off with a rough sigh before adding “but I did suffer. I made myself ill for most of those seven years; stomach pains, fevers, cold sweats, headaches and dizzy spells.” After another pause to let her words sink in, she asked “Do some of those sound familiar?” as she looked into Anne’s eyes.

“Mhm,” Anne hummed almost silently. Now that she knew Catherine understood what was going through her head she didn’t try to pretend otherwise.

“I thought so,” Aragon said, reaching out to take Anne’s hand in hers as she continued. “And that’s why I want to help you. Because I know how much of a vicious cycle this is and how hard it is to break out of it. I could never eat properly for the rest of my life after I let it go on for so long and I don’t want that for you. We want the old Anne back who comes out with us and dances around and smiles more, we miss you.”

Clearing her throat almost embarrassedly, she finished with a mumbled “I, err, I miss you.”

Staring at their conjoined hands, Anne couldn’t quite work out who’s hand was trembling the most. Hers, from lack of food, or Catherine’s.

“I’m fine though,” she heard herself saying before she was fully aware of it, pulling her hand from Aragon’s and moving to stand from her chair. She almost pitched over sideways as her head spun for a second, but she refused to let herself accept the hand held out to steady her and instead caught herself on the kitchen counter. “I know what I’m doing. I’m not gonna let myself get sick or anything. I just… I’m better this way, alright? I’m not too much anymore and that’s better for everyone.”

“Anne, please-“

“No!” she choked out in a tone nearing hysteria, hot tears threatening to spill as she backed away from the temptation of Aragon’s help. She was better how she was, she had to keep telling herself that. “Thank you, really, but I don’t need anyone’s help.”

She couldn’t look at Aragon’s expression before turning tail and sprinting up the stairs towards her room, throwing herself onto her bed as she sobbed with self-hatred and guilt.

Aragon’s words kept playing over and over throughout the mostly sleepless night, keeping Anne awake with longing for that lifeline she’d been thrown and regret for how she’d essentially chucked it back in Aragon’s face. Part of her wanted to keep pushing onwards, still convinced that she was doing the right thing and making the right choice, but the voice in her head screaming for her to stop was speaking up again after months of being silenced. It was enough to keep her up for hours, only dozing off as the first hints of dawn peeked in from under her curtains and jolting awake as her alarm blared barely a few hours later.

She avoided Aragon like the plague the next day as much as it hurt her, feeling more like she was missing something the further away they were. But Anne couldn’t deny that something from Aragon’s conversation had clicked in her mind since she realised during their warmup how tired she already felt, how little conversation she joined in with in the dressing room, and how loosely her skirt sat around her hips when it had once hugged her waist comfortably.

Suddenly she found herself disliking her body for a new reason entirely.

The dregs of exhaustion clung on as the day progressed, and somehow the nap she took between the shows left her feeling even more groggy and spaced out than she’d done after finishing the matinee. While waiting behind the curtain before the evening show a sudden spell of dizziness had her sagging onto Anna’s throne for a moment as her legs threatened to give up on her again, ignoring the worried looks that Kat and Jane both sent her. She was fine. She could make it through the show, she couldn’t let her friends down like that.

And she was right, but only just.

She vaguely realised as Jane’s section of the megasix was transitioning into Anna’s that she’d stopped singing at some point and hadn’t even realised it, her mouth forming the words but not a single sound coming out. She managed to keep dancing though, making sure she was at the back of the group so that the audience would focus on the rest of the queens and not notice anything was wrong. Her normally shouted ‘Beheaded!’ was barely a squeak as she realised her sight was blurring again and it was nothing to do with the stage lights.

Straightening up after taking a bow made her head spin so much that she thought she was going to fall over there and then. Black static spotted around her vision and her legs felt like cotton wool as she realised she needed to get off stage immediately.

Dancing around with the other queens before they left the stage was forgotten when the music kicked back in, taking full advantage of her position at the end of the line to make a stumbling exit.

She didn’t make it more than two steps into the wing before her vision turned to black and she fell, legs folding underneath her as she hit the ground hard and didn’t get up.

~~~

A couple of hours later found Anne curled up on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around her

Her soft cries went unheard and tears unseen in the dark room, since she’d made no indication to the other queens that she was awake yet. She could hear them all talking in the kitchen through the connecting wall, unable to pick out any individual words though she could still sense the tension in the conversation just by the quiet and strained way they were all talking.

Guilt twisted at her stomach when she realised she’d done that. She’d created that worry, she’d put herself in danger despite Aragon’s warning, she’d let them down.

She could still see their terrified faces as she’d come round from fainting as if they were burned into her mind. Aragon’s eyes were the first she saw since she cradled Anne’s head in her lap to keep her off the unforgiving floor, with Jane and Kat each gripping onto one of her hands and Anna and Cathy crouched beside them. The sheer volume of love and sorrow in their expressions had been too overwhelming to look at as she turned her face into Aragon’s lap to hide her tears, too weak to protest as she was picked up like she was lighter than a feather and carried away from the stage.

As the hall light flickered on and footsteps left the kitchen she hid her face in her blanket this time, expecting that someone would check on her and not wanting them to catch her crying yet again that day. She’d hardly stopped during the journey home, bundled into a taxi and squashed in between Kat and Cathy with their legs pressed up against hers. Normally it was Cathy who was always forced to sit in the middle since she was the smallest queen by far, and the fact that Anne was now sat in her place somehow drove her reality home again just like her ill-fitting costume had done earlier that day.

The living room door being pushed open spilled light into the room, illuminating Anne’s damp cheeks despite the blanket pulled up to her nose. “Oh sweetheart,” sighed Jane’s soft voice, closing the door and turning on one of the lamps to fill the room with a warm glow.

Anne scrambled to sit up as Jane moved to sit beside her, keeping the blanket wrapped around her as if it could shield her from the conversation she knew was coming. She was almost surprised that it wasn’t Aragon there since she’d spoken to her the night before and had the best idea of what she was going through, and that thought drove her to blurt out “Is Catherine mad at me?” before Jane had a chance to speak.

“Of course she isn’t love,” Jane said soothingly, the assuredness in her face calming Anne’s fear. “She looked exhausted so I told her to get some rest. None of us are angry at you, we’re just all so worried.”

She didn’t react at first, just felt slightly uncomfortable at the idea of everyone worrying so much about her. None of them deserved that.

A minute of comfortable silence passed, before Jane turned to face her and began the conversation she’d been dreading. “Anne, love, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be as honest as you can be, alright? I’m not going to be disappointed at anything you tell me, I just want you to be honest,” she said, waiting for Anne to give the tiniest nod before she asked “Have you eaten anything today?”

“A bit,” Anne said truthfully, though what might have once been a defensive tone of voice was reduced to a quiet mumble. “I had breakfast, and I had a something between the shows. I didn’t not eat anything.”

“But that’s never going to keep you going for two shows love. Our food is our fuel, and you can’t perform while running on empty.”

Anne didn’t have the words to comment on that, still trapped in a mindset where she wasn’t ready to confirm it but didn’t have the strength to deny it anymore. Instead she just asked “What were you all talking about in the kitchen earlier?” while rubbing beneath her eyes with a rough hand.

Jane seemed to pause for a moment as if trying to find the right words to start with. “We were speaking about you but I promise it was nothing bad at all. Catherine told us a few things that she was worried about and we were discussing how we might be able to help you. Because we want to help you sweetheart, if you’ll let us.”

There was something about the pleading look in Jane’s eyes and the gentle offer in her words that made Anne crack at long last. Months’ worth of anguish poured out as she sobbed into her hands, before Jane wrapped her up into a hug and Anne clung onto her with all the strength she had left in her worn-down limbs. Jane whispered soft assurances in her ear as she shuddered and shook within her embrace, rubbing Anne’s back comfortingly with one hand as she held her close while she cried.

“I don’t want to be like this anymore,” Anne choked out after a while, pulling back a little to look at Jane through red-rimmed eyes. “I hate it so much, I thought I was making things better but it’s so much worse. And I don’t know what do to. I want help, I just need help.”

“We’re here to help you love, we’re here and we’re not going to let you get worse, I promise,” Jane said, reaching out to push a strand of dark hair away from Anne’s face and gently wipe the tears streaming down one cheek.

Anne nodded, letting Jane pull her back in to rest against her with her head resting on her chest. Jane was soft and comfy and everything that Anne wasn’t with all her sharp angles and bony joints – if Jane was mum shaped then Anne was skeleton shaped, she realised with a tang of bitterness on her tongue. She was still at war with herself over how she felt towards her body, half of her looking at the changes with relish and the other half with disgust, but with the day she’d had she was leaning very firmly towards the latter.

But those thoughts all quietened down as Jane held her close despite how Anne knew she could probably feel the outline of her ribs and hip with the hand on Anne’s waist. A fresh wave of exhaustion crashed over her and she tried to lift her head against the sudden tiredness, though gave up when Jane let out a soft chuckle and stroked a hand over her hair. “You can sleep love, it’s alright,” she whispered, giving Anne the permission she needed to close her eyes. “You’re safe now, tomorrow is a new start and we’re all here beside you.”

It was a scary prospect, challenging the habits that had become her safety net over the last few months. But she was tired of pushing herself into a mould that was too small for other people’s satisfaction. The faintest hint of a smile graced her features as she slipped into sleep and waited for her brighter dawn.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #anne boleyn #catherine of aragon #jane seymour #anna of cleves #katherine howard #catherine parr #laila's writing

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moodyvalentinestories · 5 years

Text

O Thomas Hunt, Wherefore Art Thou My Professor? | Chapter 15

Summary: After her talk to a powerful player in Hollywood got cut short, Rachel was given another opportunity with yet another executive...

Notes: Hey. Just wanted to mention that I’ll be posting new chapters to this story every Tuesday from now on!

Also, you can read this on AO3 if you prefer that.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I wasn't getting into trouble. I was looking for my next project. You should know that. After all, you're one of the people who made this a requirement for me to stay at HWU."

"Oh, is that so?" Hunt chuckled dryly. "Letting someone like Victor Montmartre take advantage of you is hardly the way to impress the committee. Quit being so naive if you ever want to make it around here, Miss Fields."

I knew he was right. Mr Montmartre had given off weird vibes. Nonetheless, I wasn't going to let Hunt interfere whenever he felt like it. "I'm not naive. I could have handled myself."

"I don't doubt it," he said, to my surprise. "But you don't exactly have the best track record of staying out of trouble with influential people, do you? Has the incident with Miss Stone taught you nothing?"

Rolling my eyes, I replied, "I don't even know why you care. Can't you just go bother someone who isn't as irrelevant as I am?" I regretted the words as soon as they'd left my mouth. Why did I have to keep showing him that I cared about his opinion of me? Why couldn't I just let him believe that I didn't give a crap?

"Jesus Christ," Hunt said under his breath before speaking up. "You're not seriously still hung up on that, are you? If you're going to succeed in Hollywood, you'll need to develop a thicker skin. People are going to say things that are a lot worse about you."

I don't care what people will say. I care what you say! I thought to myself. Luckily, I managed not to let the words leave my mouth this time. "Whatever you say, Professor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important people to talk to."

Without waiting for his reaction, I turned back around and walked away from Hunt, looking for Ethan.

It didn't take me long to find him. Of course, he was with yet another group of influential-looking people. When he saw me, he came walking towards me.

"I see your talk with Montmartre didn't go too well," he said. Before I could even reply, he continued, "No worries. I have someone else you might want to meet. Brian Ratzik. Not as big a fish as Montmartre, but he'll do. He’s an executive producer over at Galactic Pictures. And, oh yeah, you love to play golf."

Confused, I asked, "What, why? I don't even--"

"Shh, just roll with it. Now get your game face on. You still want to stay at Hollywood U, don't you?"

"Of course, but--"

Ethan didn't let me finish. He just pulled me towards the group of men, who eyed me curiously.

"Rachel, this is Brian. Brian, this is the white-hot young talent from Lisa's music video, my good friend and client, Rachel Fields."

With a smile, Ratzik extended a hand. "I'm happy to meet you, Rachel."

"As am I, Mr Ratik," I replied as I shook his hand.

He laughed. "I appreciate the respect, but call me Brian. I saw the music video. Very impressive work. You’ve got a lot of potential."

"Potential? My three-year-old nephew has potential. Rachel’s kicking butt, taking names, and making hotter-than-hot music videos!" Ethan chimed in.

Brian rolled his eyes and turned toward him. "Relax, Ethan. I see that your client is talented."

"Thank you, Brian," I said, trying to take his attention off Ethan, who seemed a bit too enthusiastic. "I'm curious, what's the next big project over at Galactic Pictures?"

"Oh, it's not official yet, but we’re working on a new film called ‘Tenth Planet’. A space opera about a conflict between Earth and a mysterious planet that decloaks next to ours."

Ethan opened his mouth to speak again but Brian didn't even let him.

"I'll spare you and Ethan any further sucking up. I've got A-list talent on this all around. It's out of your league, I'm afraid," he said.

"Oh," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. "Well, I suppose I might want to look into smaller projects first."

"Do that. You keep working your way up the ladder. Something small opens up, you’ll be at the top of my list. How’s that sound?" Brian said with a smile.

"Pretty good, actually," I said. "Thank you."

"We'll be in touch. I wish you all the best, Rachel," he said, emptying his glass and handing it to a passing waiter. "I've got some business to attend to now."

After he left, Ethan turned to me with a sad expression. "Sorry that didn't work out."

"Don't worry about it," I said, forcing a smile. "Montmartre didn't want me, either. At least not for the right reasons. I'll find something slightly less ambitious, for sure."

"I... I just thought with your first project being something this huge..."

"It's fine. I'll start small and, in no time, I'll be at the top. Starring in big productions left and right."

Ethan's face lit up. "Glad to see you're still so confident. Don't lose that around here, yeah?"

I chuckled. "I'll try my best. Though, with Hunt on my case, I'm not so sure I'll manage."

"Don't let him get you down like that. Speaking of him, though, I think I saw him here earlier. Can you believe it? Hunt, at a party like this?"

"Oh, I can," I said, laughing dryly. "He's just here to rain on my parade, I'm sure."

He did kind of save you from Montmartre, my inner voice said. I ignored it.

"Well, we won't let him. Come on, we should have some fun. And maybe we'll even run into some other producer or--"

"Enough talking business for today," I said with a laugh. "I, for one, am going to get myself a drink and see if I can score a hot movie star's number. One who preferably has a nice set of abs."

Ethan shook his head at me but grinned. "Very well. Do what you must. I'll be networking."

"To each their own," I said, chuckling, as I headed towards the bar.

#professor hunt #hollywood u #hollywood u: rising stars #Thomas Hunt #wherefore art thou my professor #rachel #hwu #hwu hunt

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fluidityandgiggles · 6 years

Text

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 15

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Two months. It took me two months to write this chapter. I... I’m honestly kinda surprised at myself...

Umm... I didn’t intend on writing this chapter so early, it was meant to be dragged on for a while more and has kind of a big time jump in it (for plot reasons, trust me), but I mean... the fuck with it. The world deserves some BAMF Emile, we need some cuddles, and the subject of the first... three fourths of this chapter is one that I went to friends from a discord server with and told them I’m trying to make it really subtle and one of them just went, “This isn’t subtle at all, this shit is jumping off the walls and doing somersaults in front of me.”

So I mean... let’s get this over with! Let’s let the cat halfway out of the bag and have the first Emile-centered chapter of many, many others planned.

Thanks as always go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for not geting super extra frustrated with all my weird questions, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for being my guinea pig most of the time and for the original idea, and to @winglessnymph and @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl for sticking with me and my insane ideas from the beginning (and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you shit about this chapter, but y’all knew it was coming).

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @ilovemygaydad, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). Not as much in here, actually in this chapter it’s pretty non-existent, but this trigger warning goes in every chapter. This chapter also includes Holocaust mentions, discussion of mental health, and that’s honestly about it I think but please let me know if there’s anything I missed.

—————

Wednesday, March 19th, 2003

"Do you understand why I asked you to come here today?" Gilliam asked, clicking a pen.

Emile was frozen in his seat.

"Umm…" Emile's leg started shaking. "Is it about my last project…? I swear I really did read everything I said I—"

"Look…" Gilliam sighed. "You're a fantastic student. Really, Emile. You are one of my best students. But… I gotta say, you remind me of myself, and not in a good way."

"What do you mean…?"

"Do you mind if we went over your last test?" Emile nodded, feeling the heavy sensation in his stomach get even stronger.

"The last test I took was the implicit…"

"Your last written test," Gilliam clarified. "The one in December." He pulled out a folder labeled and decorated with a mint green marker.

‘Emile Picani - 2002/3'

"Your answers were great," Gilliam said with a sad smile as he pulled out the last test from the back of the folder. "They just didn't fit the questions. Look here, define four of the following five Gestalt Laws of Organization."

"I defined four of the following five Gestalt Laws—"

"You explained them, Emile. Define and explain are two very different instructions. I've been there too, kid. I know it's confusing." Emile wanted to vanish right then and there. It wasn't… he was trying his best! "Also, question eight, part c, why do we dream?" The doctor started underlining the question with his pen, thankfully closed. "Take one of the proposed theories and provide one way in which this may be supported."

"But… but I did—"

"Part d, take the same theory from part c and provide a way in which it might be refuted."

Well… they were going to kick him out, weren't they.

"You're a very smart kid, Emile Picani. I'll bet you so many people told you you have such potential and all that… I know it's very frustrating." Gilliam pushed Emile's glasses up, wiping his eyes from unshed tears in the process. It was… somewhat calming. "Did anyone ever suggest that you might have ADHD?"

Emile shook his head. That possibility… well, he didn't want it to be a possibility! Sure, it wasn't the end of the world if he did, but… his parents didn't have to pay for more adderall than necessary, their neighbors didn't need any more reasons to call his mom a drug addict! And… the counselor at his high school had to be right. He was stupid… wasn't he? Learning disabilities just made you stupid…

He was useless. Regardless of what his professor thought.

"Getting into university at seventeen years old is no easy fit," Gilliam kept rambling. "I remember Walter reading your essay to me—"

"Walter?"

"...oh, right! Professor Freeman." Emile's eyes darkened a bit, as if he already knew what was about to be said. Gilliam just laughed. "Yeah, he immigrated from Germany in the late forties I think… poor guy. Changed his last name and everything! Yeah… so anyway, he read your essay to me. We fought a lot of people to have you accepted! I just… I have to ask you. Have you ever had issues like that in school?"

Emile nodded.

"And not in school?"

"I… I guess, yeah… why?"

Gilliam just pulled a light purple post-it note, scribbled something on it, scribbled the same thing again after opening his pen, and handed it to the very confused Emile.

"I said it before, but this time I mean it even more than last time. Go to the psych clinic. I'll write you a referral if you find it hard to talk to them, just let me know, but in my opinion you really should get evaluated for ADHD."

As Emile got up to leave, he fiddled with the note in his hands. It was… he was…

Was he really going to do that…?

"Austria," he mumbled as he reached the door.

"Excuse me?"

"Dr. Freeman is Austrian, not German. It can be confusing, I know. His family immigrated in 1947. And his last name is Landau. He never changed it, he just goes by Freeman for teaching because nobody liked the ‘Germans' post-Holocaust."

"Did he tell you that…?"

"You said he read you my essay, I thought you guessed already."

He was sure he left Gilliam baffled. But it didn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach any.

————

"I can't have it," Emile mumbled against Remy's chest, the note semi-safely in his pocket. "I don't want to!"

"Emmy, gurl, you realize you're making a huge deal out of nothing, right?" Remy laughed. "It's ADHD. It's not terminal cancer."

That made Emile cry even harder.

"No, no… Emile, it's gonna be alright. I promise. Okay? You trust me?"

"My uncle would be so disappointed," Emile whispered. "He's the reason I'm here! And… and I'm disappointing him so much!"

"You're a legacy, sweets?"

"Kinda… I guess." He sniffled. Remy felt his heart break even more, and for what? A mental disorder, a learning disability, a small neurological difference that only made him (in Remy's opinion) even more awesome? "I don't want him to… to lose his status... especially not because of me! He worked so hard to get a teaching position and I don't want to be his downfall!"

"Who's this uncle, sweetie? If you having ADHD will be his downfall he's probably not such a good—"

"Doctor Landau— Umm, Doctor Freeman. He's my mom's uncle."

Remy was… needless to say he was speechless.

"Which Freeman are we talking about, love?"

"Head of psychology, Doctor Walter Freeman."

...his name is LANDAU?!

"...so after about six months of knowing you, you finally decide to tell me that you're the great-nephew of the head of department?!" Emile giggled against Remy's chest. He couldn't believe it! "Scandalous! Preposterous! Un-be-fucking-lievable! Emile!"

"I swear that's not how I got in," Emile muttered happily. "I wrote an essay, I swear I did!"

"Okay, but still, gurl, that's not a secret! It's too big to be called a secret."

"There's no such a thing as too big a secret," Emile said in a near-perfect imitation of Freeman's accent, and then giggled again. "And besides, it wasn't a secret. You never asked!"

"My love, when I die, I want you to tell my dad that I loved him," Remy said in an overly dramatic tone, pretending to faint right there on the couch. "Give all my possessions to Leah—"

"Stop it, you drama queen!"

"Oh, I'm a queen, alright."

The conversation was interrupted by Katherine doing as Katherine does - which today meant running from her room to the kitchen, grabbing an orange and running right back, as if not to be seen - but as soon as she disappeared, Emile broke into an even bigger giggle fit.

"My aunt would be so disappointed if she knew I was crying over this," he said at last, calming down from his laughing fit. "Caroline is the harsher one of them, and… and she used to visit Evanston every couple months when my mom was in university to help her get through her degree and raise my sister. My mom had my sister really young, you know? She and my dad were nineteen, and… okay, sorry, I'm getting sidetracked…"

"Please keep talking, love," Remy told him gently, with a soft smile and a pat on the head. "I can go make you some more tea if you'd like before we continue?"

"No, that's alright! Maybe later!" The blond almost threw himself off the couch in excitement. "I actually think… I think I should talk to them about this… I mean, Caroline would almost certainly get mad at me for thinking it'll ruin his career, and Walter would help me through the whole diagnosis thing… he did the same with Julie before we knew what she had is narcolepsy, you know? So…"

"So is there really anything to be scared of?"

Emile shook his head. Remy wiped his tear-streaked cheeks with gentle fingers, fixing his glasses right after that.

"I… I'm gonna do it. Okay? I'm gonna do it."

He was so proud of himself. It was so cute.

—————

Friday, March 21st, 2003; 15:43 p.m.

"Doctor," the resident student-psychiatrist (Thelma Grinberg, an overly boring MS student Emile already knew) called as she stretched her hand to shake his uncle's hand. "That's a surprise."

"Since Emile is still a minor, I had to accompany him," he explained sharply. "Neither of his parents could come here today."

"Caroline could've come too," Emile mumbled.

"Your aunt has a busy schedule today, Emile."

"You do too…"

Thelma seemed incredibly confused, but kept going anyway. And it took her longer than was probably necessary to get through all the questions.

Emile hated people like that. (And so did his uncle.)

He was dropped off at his dorm before his uncle had to leave, and that probably spooked Remy more than it should have. The kind "Mr. Harris, nice to see you" didn't help any.

"How did it go?" Remy asked, looking almost straight at Emile.

"Quite well, I would say." The smile looked incredibly weird on the older man's face. "Call your mother for me. Tell her everything that happened today, ja?" Emile nodded eagerly. "Thank you, Emile."

"I didn't ask—"

And with a strict "I expect to see you at my office on Monday, Mr. Harris", the professor left the dorm building, leaving behind a happy blond and his flustered best friend.

"...what was that?!"

"I have to go there again a couple days before spring break for another test, and then after Passover for a TOVA," Emile explained, rather excitedly. "You know what a TOVA is, don't y—"

"It's that test where you click a button according to instructions, I know. Mueller explained it to everyone three days ago, Emmy."

"Oh right! And… and I guess that after those tests I'll know if I have anything!"

After a long moment of awkward silence, Emile tapped Remy's shoulder again. "Care to come over for the holidays? You didn't for Hanukkah and now my parents really want you to! I mean… I do too, but my parents haven't really met you yet and they think you're pretty cool and—"

"Sure, I'll come."

Emile had to do a bit of a double take. "Seriously? Remy, I don't think you understand what you're signing up for here, it's all my cousins from three different countries, most of them don't speak English, my grandparents, uncle Walter and aunt Caroline, maybe even mom's cousins if they'd be so grateful as to—"

"No, I get it, sweetie. I have, like, twenty cousins on Linda's side alone, more or less. I'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

Remy may have known before that he'll do anything to see Emile smile, but… he's never realized it until now. Probably? Maybe? But as Emile started bouncing happily and jumped in to hug him, Remy finally accepted the reality.

Coming over to Emile's during spring break was no trouble, but… in the long run, he would do anything to see him smile.

—————

Wednesday, April 16th, 2003

This was… definitely not spring break anymore. Remy was pretty sure that the higher ups in administration would rip him a new nonexistent one when they found out why he took a week's vacation in the middle of the spring semester…

Then again, so did a lot of the other students, and some of the staff. So maybe he was exaggerating…?

Eh. Finals start the week after that and end in May. He can allow himself a week off.

And yet he still had no idea how he ended up like this, watching Prince of Egypt with his best friend and said friend's three-year old niece at nine in the morning, as said friend's mom was overworking herself in the kitchen trying to make space and food for over thirty people…

Oh, and there was a dog too. She was currently playing with a squeaky toy, but she was there.

He only processed that this is the situation he's in once Emile started trying to get his niece singing. He had no idea what was going on on screen, but… something was.

"Mom, where's everyone?" Emile called to the kitchen after failing - for the hundredth time - to engage Analiese.

"Where could everyone possibly be, Emile?"

"Walter and Caroline are in town for the things you forgot to buy, grandma and grandpa are probably at their connection…" he started mumbling, counting on his fingers in an odd fashion. "I don't know!"

"You just said so yourself," Remy laughed quietly, grabbing Emile's hands gently. "Let's go over this again. Walter and Caroline are in town, your grandparents are at their connection…"

"Yeah, I know that," he groaned, slightly frustrated. "I just… everyone… here. That's what… that's what I'm confused about. Where's everyone here."

"...where everyone is seated?" Emile nodded. "Oh gurl… do you wanna make place holders, organize the seating, do you want to…"

"I just want to make sure nobody wants to sit on both my sides. One is okay, but you have to sit on my other side and I'm worried about that."

Oh…

"Well, we're gonna make sure that nobody takes my seat, okay?" Remy asked, kissing Emile's cheek afterwards.

"I sit with Emile!" Analiese declared, her attention now directed at the boys. Emile started laughing and leaned over to pinch her chubby cheek.

"We will read together, and sing together, and if mom complains we're gonna tell her off, right Ana?"

The toddler nodded, extremely determined, and Remy felt his heart melt all over again.

This was too good to be true, and not even seeing his most feared professor walk through the door and sit down next to them in the living room could shake this feeling. For once, Remy wasn't scared of this man. Through some odd change of fate, or something like that.

"So this is your first time doing such a thing?" Doctor La— Doctor Freeman asked, smiling gently as Analiese bounced in his lap and rambled about everything she's done this week. "Participating in Passover?"

"Yes, sir."

"He's my uncle now, not our professor," Emile laughed, squeezing Remy's hand. "You don't have to be so scared of him."

It didn't work as instantly as he wanted it to, but as the night went on, Remy actually… found that he wasn't that scared of him anymore.

As he said, this was too good to be true. And nothing could ever seem to be able to shake this good feeling.

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: holocaust mention #tw: mental health discussion

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