#i love when I get to interact with guests directly and get their feedback on what we serve

[ittyybittybaker]

Tiffany, your job sounds so cool from what you wrote in the tags of the poll about what kind of work people do! Tell us more 👀

Hiiii thank you for thinking my job is interesting!! I'm an assistant pastry sous chef for the catering team at Disney World. We do all the desserts and pastries for all catered events on property, so all 4 parks, water parks, golf courses, resorts, and at springs, it's pretty cool!

We do all private events, as well as things like press events and park buyouts and stuff. We have set dessert menus that we do, but we can also do things inspired by items made in the parks, at the resorts, or whatever the guest wants. Most of our items are Disney inspired, but we can also do stuff based on like the company, or even stuff like 'my grandma's pumpkin roll recipe'. So we get to make lots of really cool and interesting desserts all the time, it's really fun!

A lot of our business comes from weddings. We usually do buffet portions of desserts, but we also can do special plates desserts as well, and also special interactive action station desserts! We get a lot of creative control when it comes to the kinds of things we get to create, and I really enjoy getting to help come up with dessert ideas as well as getting to make really intricate things that are more ~out of the box than traditional dessert items.

Sometimes it can be stressful when we get busy, because WDW is always open there's never an off day and there's always something going on somewhere. And we can do events from 2 people up to like 20,000 people all at the same time. It can be a lot to juggle but honestly it's so much fun.

If people are interested, maybe I'll post some of the stuff I've gotten to work on in the past! It's always fun to get to share that kind of stuff!

[arvandus]

A Cup of Affection (Part 1)

Pairing: Barbatos x f!reader

Content warnings: cisfem!reader; short-coded reader (or tall Barbatos, you pick!); reader's hair is able to be tucked behind the ear/brushed aside, but no further description provided; a lil’ steamy toward the end but no actual smut (that’ll be in part 2 *evil laugh*); reader loves sweets/sweet drinks; not proofread (watch me edit spelling/grammar errors later after this has been reblogged....)

**MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT FOLLOW OR INTERACT**

(divider credit goes to @benkeibear)

It was the worst thing he could have ever heard uttered from your lips.

“I think I’d actually prefer coffee today, if that’s okay.”

Barbatos stared at you dumfounded as if you’d grown a second head.  You flustered under his gaze, your fingers fidgeting and eyes dropping.

“I mean, if it’s not too much trouble,” you stuttered.  Your next words came out in a rush.  “Don’t get me wrong, I love your tea! It’s just... I used to drink it all the time back home, and I’m feel a little nostalgic for it.”

Ah, you were so cute when you got flustered... Barbatos could feel his resolve fracture just the slightest, and he tightened his mental control, like sealing a crack in a teacup.

Diavolo laughed.  “There’s no need to worry.  Barbatos’s coffee is just as divine as his tea. I’m sure it’ll be no trouble at all.  Besides, he just went to the market yesterday and restocked the kitchens.  Isn’t that right?”

Diavolo looked at him expectantly, innocence in his eyes, and yet Barbatos knew better.  The corners of Barbatos’s mouth quirked just the slightest in stiff acknowledgement as he made mental notes to increase the young lord’s workload for the next day or two....

“Yes, young master.  Although, had I known the coffee would be offered to guests, I would have purchased more of a selection.”

“I’m sure whatever you have is fine, Barbatos. I’m not very picky...” you reply encouragingly with a warm smile.

Barbatos stared at you for a moment and returned the expression with more warmth than he’d given the young prince.  “You’re very gracious, Y/N.”

Diavolo clapped his hands together excitedly.  “Lovely!  With all of this talk of coffee, I believe I’d like one as well. It’s been some time since I’ve enjoyed a cup.” 

How quickly one’s control over a situation can shift...

The butler bowed low.  “Of course, my lord.  I will prepare it immediately.” He straightened his stiff spine and stared at you, although he kept his gaze at the space between your eyes so as not to give away the heat he’d undoubtedly feel when looking directly into your dark pupils.  “Is it safe to assume you enjoy your coffee like you enjoy your tea?”

You giggled, the sound of it making Barbatos’s skin tingle.  “You mean more sugar and cream than coffee? Yes, please.”

Great. Just great.

Barbatos’s smile remained firm, yet he could feel its fakeness in the way the muscles at the corner of his mouth cramped. He hoped you couldn’t see it.

With a bow he retreated. As soon as he was out of your line of sight, his mask vanished, transforming from smile to frown.

You wanted coffee.

There was only one, large, glaring problem.  The only coffee in the entire castle was Hell Coffee. 

It was Diavolo’s favorite, his enjoyment of the acidic, bitter taste a constant, warm reminder of Barbatos’s fatherly affection. He only requested it when he required reassurance after a particularly difficult day, when Barbatos’s honest feedback and praise on a job well done weren’t enough.  Barbatos had no need for any other type of coffee, especially since he himself was renowned for his teas and cakes.  No one ever, in their right mind, would request coffee when offered Barbatos’s tea.

With each step, the calm butler began to lose more and more of his composure until he nearly slammed the door open upon his entry to the kitchen.

The three Little Ds in the room startled at his entrance. One stirred a large, steaming stock pot, one washed the dishes, and the other was chopping vegetables.

Little D Two, who stirred the pot, saluted him.  “Hi, boss!”

Barbatos glared. “Out.”

The Little Ds wasted no time in rushing through the door. But before Number Two could make it, Barbatos’s sharp tone caught him.

“Not you, Number Two.  You stay.”

Number Two began to visibly shake, his small hand scratching at his head.  “A-Are you sure, boss? You look like you wanna be alone...”

Barbatos did not have to repeat himself; instead, he pinned the Little D with a stern look.

The Little D began to return to the center of the kitchen where Barbatos stood.

“Close the door,” Barbatos ordered. Little D obeyed and then returned to his side.

Barbatos put his hands on the kitchen island and stared down at its wooden, weathered surface.

“She wants coffee,” he muttered.

“What was that boss? I couldn’t hear ya...” Number Two replied, inching closer.

“I said she wants coffee.” Barbatos repeated as he looked up, his brow furrowed in frustration.

“Who does?” Number Two asked.

Barbatos clenched his jaw for a moment before averting his gaze and answering.  “Solomon’s apprentice.”

He’d hoped referring to you by your title would ease the wildness of his pulse, give him the much-needed distance between his head and his heart.

It did not.

Number Two perked up. “Well, that’s no big deal! We have coffee, don’t we?” He began shuffling through the cupboards. “Where is it, where is it. Ah, here it is!” He held it up in victory and placed it in front of Barbatos.

Barbatos glared daggers at it.

Why would anyone ever invent such a thing, anyway?

Hell indeed...

“We can’t use this,” he muttered.

“What?? Sure we can! It’s Hell Coffee, we make it all the-Ohhh.”

Number Two grew very still and Barbatos’s jaw clenched.

The silence stretched an uncomfortable length of time as Number Two fidgeted.  Finally, he drifted in front of the butler, hovering above the busy countertop.

“So, you, uhhh-”

“Shut up,” Barbatos ordered through clenched teeth.  “Not another word.”

But Number Two didn’t know the meaning of the word. “I mean,” he continued, “it can’t be that bad, right?? Some people like it bitter...”

“Well she doesn’t. You do recall how she takes her tea, do you not?”

Two fidgeted some more, his nervousness worsening. “Ah, right. Good point. But how bitter can it get, really?”

“I’d prefer not to find out,” Barbatos replied.  “No, this will not do. There must be another way.”

“Can’t we just drown it out with cream and sugar?” Number Two asked as he began rummaging through the fridge.

“The purpose of Hell Coffee is to communicate fondness, Number Two.  The magic of that cannot be undone so easily.”

‘There wouldn’t be enough sugar and cream in the entire Devildom to drown out that bitterness...’ Barbatos thought.

Panic curled his fingers into fists, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.  Time was wasting. He had to return to you soon or you and the young master begin to grow suspicious.

But then, Barbatos had an idea.  “Tell me, Number Two.  What are your feelings towards the apprentice?”

“Huh? My feelings? I mean, she’s nice and she helps me out once in a while...” The Little D answered distractedly as he continued to rummage through ingredients.

“Perfect,” Barbatos replied. “You will make it, then.”

There was a loud thump as Number Two hit his head on the inside of the fridge.  He popped out, his little black hand lifting his hat to rub a sore spot. “Me?!”

“Yes.”

“I can’t make Hell Coffee!”

“Why not?”

“I’ve never done it before!”

“It’s not difficult.”

“But what if it comes out awful? I don’t even think Hell Coffee is supposed to work on Little Ds!”

“All the better reason for you to be the one to make it. Come now. Diavolo requested a cup as well. I shall make the first, and then I will guide you through the steps so you may make the second.”

----

Diavolo talked, but you were having difficulty focusing on his words as you felt the minutes tick by.

Perhaps you’d made a mistake...

In all honesty, you weren’t sure what to expect. All you knew was that Hell Coffee was the only coffee available in the castle, a little nugget of knowledge that Lucifer had given to you when he’d told the story of Diavolo attempting to make him the coffee himself.

As soon as you learned that little tidbit of info, your mind immediately went to Barbatos. Sweet, handsome Barbatos.  Barbatos who’s presence made your skin hum, who’s soft smile and deep chuckle made your gut twist in the most lovely way.  Barbatos who’s eyes seemed to read you like a book every time you looked into them, and yet gave away nothing short of amusement in return.

He was such a tea enthusiast that you’d never questioned the lack of coffee on his elegant and detailed menu. But now the thought of Barbatos making you Hell Coffee wouldn’t leave your mind.

After all, how else were you supposed to find out how he felt about you? Ask him?  Like a normal person?? Definitely not; the very idea was laughable.  You’d rather take his rejection through small sips of coffee rather than hear the words uttered from his mouth.

Because that’s what you were certain would happen. The acidity would be mild, the beverage more sugar than coffee. It wasn’t like the royal butler harbored any feelings for you, right? Sure, there was respect and friendship, but that was it.

So then why.... why were you so nervous? Why did hope flutter in your chest like a trapped bird?

Silly.

Anxiety twisted deep in your stomach, crushing your appetite and making your small desserts taste like ash.

But a moment later, he appeared, an ornate silver tray in his steady gloved hands, with two delicate teacups of steaming dark liquid.  He set the tray down and began to prepare them to yours and Diavolo’s liking. The close proximity made the delicious scent tickle your nose, and you inhaled and let out a happy sigh.

Barbatos was unmoved, his eyes kept to the teacups as he handed Diavolo his beverage first, and then yours.

Diavolo thanked him with a happy smile and took the first sip and winced.  “Ah, as bitter as ever Barbatos.  Glad to know you haven’t tired of me yet.”

“An impossibility, young master,” he replied smoothly.

You watched the exchange as you carefully brought the beverage to your lips and sipped.

Your heart sank instantly, the sweet tang clinging to your tongue.  It crushed your hope, silenced the unspoken confessions and washed them away to a place where they’d be left to slowly die.

“And how do you like yours?” Barbatos inquired, his neutral smile hiding any emotions worth noticing.

Or, as you’d just now discovered, where none lurked.

He respected you it seemed, had some basic level of fondness since the coffee still tasted of coffee, of course.  But it lacked the sharp, bitter bite that you’d hoped for, the one you’d experienced whenever one of the brothers made you coffee at the house.

You forced a small smile even as you felt your disappointment coalesce in your throat like a stone.  “It’s delicious. Thank you, Barbatos.”

Barbatos gave a polite nod and his posture eased ever so slightly. His satisfaction of your reaction to your bland, sugary cup only drove the painful truth home further, a nail into your heart.

Barbatos didn’t love you.

----

Diavolo stared at the empty teacups in thought as Barbatos began clearing the table.  “She seemed... disappointed, didn’t she?”

Barbatos glanced at him and then averted his eyes.  “Did she?”

“She certainly left quickly enough after the coffee.”

“I’m sure she simply has many errands to run,” Barbatos replied.  “The brothers and Solomon keep her nearly as busy as me.”

Diavolo stared at him for a long moment, then let out a gentle hum.

Barbatos graced his unspoken need for further attention with a lengthy side-eye.  “Yes, young master?”

Diavolo’s mouth quirked up slightly at the corner.  “Nothing... I just... I was certain that her cup would have been more bitter.”

Barbatos straightened up, the tray of now used dishes in his hand, his own mouth quirking up in return.  “I’m sorry to disappoint.”

Diavolor raised a challenging eyebrow at him.  “You do know I can tell when someone is lying to me, Barbatos.  Even you.”

Barbatos’s smirk vanished as quickly as it came, his walls up instantly.  “I have not forgotten, my lord. As such, perhaps you should cease pursuing this topic.”

“Have it your way...” Diavolo muttered.

Barbatos bowed. “If you’ll excuse me...”

He turned towards the castle, his eyes downcast on the half-drank cup of coffee you’d left behind.  As he began to walk back, Diavolo’s quiet voice followed him.

“You’re making a mistake.”

----

Diavolo’s words lingered in Barbatos’s mind following him into the next day, and the day after that.  It haunted him endlessly, making its appearance at the most inopportune times.  While balancing the budget, monitoring Lord Diavolo’s progress on his pile of paperwork, while running errands... he was far too busy to be so, so.... distracted.

Barbatos whole-heartedly disagreed with the young prince’s assessment.  In fact, in all honesty, Barbatos hardly ever made any mistakes at all, at least not anymore. He was far too careful for such reckless behavior.  Which was why Barbatos had a million and one reasons not to confess his feelings to you.  Between Devildom politics, his duties, and your mortality just to name a few, the cons far outweighed the pros... or so he tried to tell himself.

Even so, he couldn’t deny how you watched him when you thought he wasn’t looking, or the way your smile brightened in his presence... or the way you always managed to find a reason to cross paths with him at least a couple times a week...

Barbatos shook his head to himself.  No.  Best not to go there...

And yet...

‘You’re making a mistake.’

----

The truth of those words didn’t fully solidify until he ran into you at the market a couple of weeks later. Barbatos had already noticed how he seemed to be crossing paths with you less than usual. He already suspected you were avoiding him, putting distance between your heart and him.  He’d accepted it, a consequence of his own choices.

That is, until he saw the look in your eyes; the way you couldn’t quite hide the hurt fast enough behind your smile, the way your lips curled in artificial joy at seeing him.  Your words were brief and cordial, but he could tell you were eager to disentangle from his presence.

He’d watched your retreating back with his breath lodged like spikes in his lungs, the longing to grab your wrist and pull you back to him making his fingers twitch.

Barbatos had hoped that preventing an impromptu confession with cursed coffee would have allowed him to keep you at arm’s length, to keep his affections for you separate from yours.

But this felt less like separation and every bit like entanglement.  You weren’t just drifting farther away from him like two separate objects with nothing but empty space between. It felt more like ripping, a tearing of intertangled roots. It was painful and left an ache in his chest where your presence had made a home.

Perhaps the young lord was right....

----

Even so, Barbatos was as stubborn as he was prideful.  He filled himself with distractions to ease the pain, waiting for time to work its magic and ease the empty longing for both of you.

Another two weeks passed before Diavolo took matters into his own hands.

The prince entered the kitchen to see every single surface filled with extravagant desserts and warm breads. Little D’s were at every counter and stove, while Barbatos stood at the island in the center with a piping bag in his hand, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“Are we having a celebration?” Diavolo asked jovially.

“No, young master,” Barbatos replied.

“Then what is the reason for the feast?”

“I have been making modifications to my recipes to perfect my menu.”

“You mean the menu you’ve already perfected three times this week?”  Diavolo crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.  “This wouldn’t have anything to do with one particular sorcerer’s apprentice, would it?”

Barbatos’s hand flexed on the piping bag and a large glob shot out onto the cake he was decorating.  He glanced briefly at Diavolo.  “Of course not.”

“Then I’m guessing that it’s just a coincidence that you’ve chosen her favorite color as your decorating inspiration....”

Barbatos blanched and his eyes looked up from his work to take in the state of the kitchen.

Damn it, he was right... cupcakes, cakes, tarts, danishes, marbled bread, muffins... everything he’d made was somehow tied back to you.  Colors, flavors, textures... it was as if he’d gotten lost in his thoughts and his hands had written out apologies in the form of desserts rather than letters.

“Perhaps we should talk about this...” Diavolo suggested.  His amber eyes took in the exhausted Little D’s.  “Okay, break time everyone!”

A roar of cheers erupted throughout the kitchen, and a swarm of dark little bodies vacated the space in record time.

“Young master, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t override my authority within the kitchen,” Barbatos chided as he eyed all of the unfinished work.

“My dear friend, work them any harder, and they’ll all go on strike, and then where will we be?”  Diavolo closed the door behind him and made himself comfortable against the island, a pastry in his hand.  Barbatos returned to piping the decoration onto the cake that was nearly complete.  “You should talk to her, Barbatos.”

Barbatos froze and finally let out a heavy sigh in defeat as he set the piping bag down. He braced his hands against the weathered edge of the counter. “I cannot.”

“Why not?”

“It is not so simple.”

“Isn’t it?”

Barbatos chuckled.  “I sometimes envy your youthful, reckless optimism...”

“You’ve been sulking ever since that day with the hell coffee.”

Barbatos scoffed and straightened his spine in reproach. “I do not sulk.”

“Like a teenager with a broken heart ,” Diavolo pressed with an arrogant tilt of his chin and mischief in his smile.

Barbatos narrowed his eyes.  “If you have enough time to watch me so closely, then perhaps you can explain to me why you’re still so behind on your work.”

“Maybe I’m too distracted watching you clean the castle top to bottom and baking enough sweets to satiate even Beel’s bottomless gut.”

His words got under the butler’s skin and so he started straightening up the space, gathering crumbs of dough and flour into piles, wiping up blotches of icing from the wood grain.  “It is work that must be done my lord, nothing more nothing less.” Then he muttered, “A teenager? Really? You do realize I’m far older than you.”

“Yes, and how many of those years have you been alone?”

“I am not alone, young master. I have you, I have the Little Ds...”

“You know what I mean. When was the last time you fell in love?”

Barbatos froze, his vision blurring. He blinked and it refocused.

Yes... how long had it been?

“Look,” Diavolo said, “all I’m saying is that perhaps this is one area that you’re a little bit... rusty in.”

Barbatos was silent for a long moment, before giving a soft sigh and turning to lean against the counter the same as Diavolo.  “My lack of a love life isn’t the issue.  I can’t afford to jeopardize your position as prince by allowing myself to become emotionally involved with a human. And not just any human, but Solomon’s apprentice.  Many demons still haven’t forgotten how he’d singlehandedly opposed the Devildom centuries ago. I am your most trusted confidant, and as such I must err on the side of caution in all of my dealings.”

Diavolo’s eyes widened.  “Is that why you’ve been doing this?”

“I am your butler first and foremost, young master. You will always be my top priority.”

Diavolo blew air out of his cheeks and leaned his head back to stare at the intricate ceiling.  “I see. I appreciate the concern, friend. However, I believe, in this instance, it’s important that you put a little more faith in me to be able to keep the nobles in line.  Regardless of their opinions, I am the law of this land, and my position is final. Besides, she’s already intricately tied up in Devildom affairs considering she has pacts with all of the brothers.”

“All the more reason to be cautious,” Barbatos replied.

“Screw that,” Diavolo scoffed.

Barbatos gasped.  “My lord!”

“After all you’ve done for me, what kind of a prince would I be if I let the fear of the masses take away your chance at happiness?” Diavolo said firmly.  “You deserve to be happy too, Barbatos.  Now please, for the love of my father, get out of this damn kitchen and go apologize to her.”

Barbatos stared at the prince with wide eyes, before bowing low. “Yes, young master.”

Before Barbatos crossed the threshold, Diavolo called out with a chuckle in his voice. “You should ask her for coffee when you get there...”

Barbatos gave a soft laugh.  He had a feeling he wouldn’t have to.

----

For all of the inspiration and reassurance Diavolo had provided, Barbatos could feel his resolve slip more and more the closer he got to the front door of the House of Lamentation.

Would you turn him away? Run away to your room and allow the brothers to host him instead?  What if you weren’t even home? What if you were with Solomon?

A sharp stab of jealousy reared its head and he forced it back down.

That certainly wouldn’t do him any good, now would it?

He walked up the steps and rang the doorbell as he held his breath.

A silent prayer of gratitude and dread echoed through his mind as you answered the door. You froze when you saw him, eyes wide, your breath caught in your chest.

“Barbatos,” you said dumbly.  “What are you doing here?”

You clamped your mouth shut as you realized how rude you sounded, and all Barbatos could think about was how cute you were...

“I...” he started, and then froze.  He couldn’t say the real reason for his arrival, not on the doorstep where anyone could hear.  “I came to inspect the House of Lamentation for any infestations.”

Your shoulder slumped slightly in disappointment.  “Oh. Okay, come in.”

He bowed graciously.  “Thank you.”

As he stepped into the large foyer, you fidgeted nervously.  He stared the gesture and fought the blush that threatened to creep across his pale cheeks.  “Where are the brothers?” he asked.

“They aren’t here right now. Diavolo called them to a student council meeting.”

Barbatos’s eyes widened.  “Oh. I see...”

He wasn’t sure whether he should thank him or punish him...

He stared down at you as his heart pounded wildly.  “So you are by yourself then?”

“For a little bit,” you replied with a small smile.  “I must admit the quiet is nice once in a while...”

Barbatos’s own lips curled gently.  “Then I promise I’ll be brief.”

“W-would you like some tea?” you asked expectantly.

Barbatos hesitated, Diavolo’s words once again coming alive in his mind.

Ask her for coffee.

But Barbatos forced the suggestion aside.

“Yes, tea would be lovely.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.  Make yourself comfortable.” You retreated toward the kitchen, and Barbatos sat in a nearby chair.

----

Tea, tea, tea.....

You opened the cannister that sat on the counter and stared at it with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Empty.

No, that can’t be right... you always had tea.

With your brow furrowed, you rummaged through the lower pantry.

Nothing. Not a single tea bag.

No, no, no....

Dread started from your toes and crept up like invisible fingers brushing against sensitive skin.

You had hoped to make this as painless as possible; give Barbatos his tea, allow him to do his inspection, and then send him on his way.  But already things were going awry.

You hummed to yourself with a furrowed brow as you dug out any and all drink options.  Water, milk, juice, soda... none of those seemed suitable for Barbatos.

You went back to the cupboards, moving items around as you searched.  Your hand wrapped around a familiar bag and you pulled it out with trepidation.

 Coffee.

You stared at the bag of Hell Coffee with narrowed eyes as if it was the reason for the lack of tea within the kitchen.

No.  Absolutely fucking not. You’d already made that mistake once before and you’d regretted it ever since.

Panic filled your veins and you fought back the burning sensation in your eyes.

There had to be something....

Your eyes spotted the upper cabinet that was so often out of your reach. It often housed excess demonus when Lucifer’s own cabinets were full in his office.

Maybe... just maybe....

Who knows, maybe Lucifer had received some tea as a gift from Barbatos and put it up with the rest of the demonus?

You grabbed the stool that had become your best friend within the Devildom-sized kitchen and stepped up.

----

Barbatos sat and fiddled with his clothing, adjusting the uniform repeatedly. It felt awfully tight today, the house feeling particularly warm.

The minutes ticked by, time stretched, and Barbatos grew more and more restless. He checked the time.  The tall grandfather clock chimed its gong.

Finally, Barbatos got tired of waiting.  Perhaps you’d run out the back door, leaving him alone in the house...

He chuckled to himself.  You would never....

He stood up and made his way to the kitchen.  When he pushed through the double doors, he froze as he stared at the sight before him.

The kitchen was chaos, cupboards open and various contents spread out on the counter.

And you, you were on a stool, precariously balanced, as the upper half of your body vanished inside a high cabinet.

“No, no, this can’t be happening...” you muttered, unaware of Barbatos’s presence. He could hear the anxiety laced in your tone, the tension tight around your vocal chords. You were desperately searching for something.

It was almost comical, watching you stand on your tippy-toes, and it’d been so long since Barbatos saw you up close, that he paused to cherish the view. His eyes followed the curves and lines of your body, his lips slightly parted.

That is, until you started to wobble...

You could feel the balance shift, felt the scrape of the wood beneath your feet give way to nothing.

That split second of panic, of knowing you were falling, was interrupted by strong hands and lean arms wrapping around your waist, catching your weight against a firm, tall body.

The impact of your body against Barbatos’s forced his own back against the closed lower cupboard, but he held firm, keeping your feet from touching the floor. Your arms were around his neck instantly, survival instinct forcing you against him as if he were a tree.

Time felt frozen for a moment as your heart pounded with adrenaline.

You knew immediately who’d caught you. After all, there was only one other person in the house with you.

Not to mention you could smell the scent of sugar clinging to his uniform, could smell the tea on his breath as his own heart pounded beneath yours.

You were torn between embarrassment and desire, your eyes closed as you clung to him.  But then you remembered the hell coffee from weeks ago, recalled that neutral smile he’d worn when you drank it, and your heart broke all over again.

Slowly you loosened your hold around his neck and pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes.

“I... thank you.”

His green eyes stared back, his skin flushed, although you were sure it was due to the haste in which he had to have moved to catch you. Barbatos held you for a moment longer than he needed to before slowly setting you down on unsteady legs.

“You’re welcome,” he replied.  Then his eyes looked up past your head at the kitchen behind you.  “Might I inquire as to what’s happening?”

You opened your mouth hoping to find a believable lie there, but there was none.  Only simple truth came forth, clumsy and blunt.  “We don’t have any tea.”

“Oh...” Barbatos looked down at you.  “So you’ve decided to reorganize your kitchen.”

The emotion pounding in your chest finally gained enough strength to work their way up your throat and brim your eyes with tears.

“I... I only have coffee. And, and water, and juice, and soda, and...”

Barbatos watched the panic overtake you and he took your hand in his, his thumb gently rubbing across the back of your hand.

“Coffee will be fine.”

What he had hoped would assuage your fear only seemed to heighten it, causing the tears to finally break loose, running wet tracks down your cheeks. You refused to look at him, instead focusing on the details of his uniform.

“B-but... I only have Hell Coffee....”

Realization dawned on Barbatos’s face, and then his expression softened.  “I see... then let us make some.”

He began to step to the side to go around you but you clutched his hand tightly, halting his retreat.  “No, you don’t understand. It’s...” Barbatos waited patiently as you found your words. Finally, your voice came through soft and timid.  “It’s going to be too bitter.”

A soft smile spread across his lips.  “I think in this case I am willing to make an exception.”

Confusion furrowed your brow as he led you over to the counter with your fingers intertwined.  “I... I don’t understand.... I thought...”

“Y/N, I have a confession to make... and an apology as well.”

A few minutes later and the sound of laughter is filling the kitchen with the scent of coffee in rich in the air.

“So you really bullied Number Two into making it??” you laughed.

Barbatos gave you a reproachful look.  “Bullying is a strong term, Y/N... but yes, I suppose I did.”

“Well now I know how Two feels about me, I guess...”

“And you know how I feel about you, too,” Barbatos replied with a small smile.

“Wellll,” you hummed, “Yes, but...” you stared at the two cups of fresh coffee sitting in front of each of you. “I still want to try it...”

It was Barbatos’s suggestion to make each other’s cup, to assuage any lingering doubts.

“Then let us proceed,” he replied.

With your eyes locked you both picked up your cups and took a tentative sip.

Sharp, deep bitterness greeted your tongue and your face soured.  Barbatos’s cup seemed to be no better, as he attempted to stifle a cough.

“Oh...” he mustered.  “Oh goodness, that’s...”

“Truly awful,” you replied with a chuckle.  “In the best way, of course.”

“It really is, isn’t it?” he laughed.  He took another sip and you watched in amusement as his winced.

You sipped yours again as well, and forced it down with your eyes squeezed shut.

“Do... do we have to finish the whole thing?” you asked.

“It’s customary to do so... not finishing it implies you’re unwilling to fully accept the other person’s affections.”

You frowned into your cup with a pout.  “Silly Devildom customs...” you forced another sip.  “Blegh.”

Barbatos grinned, his cheeks warm as he watched you.  “Perhaps, however...” he said, “we can call a truce.”

“Don’t toy with my emotions, Barbatos,” you teased.

His expression sobered from one of amusement to calm affection.  “I promise, never again.”

Your skin felt hot and you averted your eyes down into your cup.  His hand came forward, and you felt him tuck your hair behind your ear.

“I am truly sorry for deceiving you,” he said softly.  “It was a poor decision and one I’ll always regret.”

Your gaze returned to lock with his, and suddenly you’re keenly aware of his close proximity and of the emptiness of the large house.

Barbatos’s hand lingered gently on your jawline, his fingers tucked behind your ear.  His eyes flickered to your lips before returning to your eyes again.

Then he closed the distance and kissed you, his lips soft and tender against yours.  You melted into it, melted into him, your fingers twining into the jacket of his uniform.

He pulled away slightly and you stared at each other. Then he kissed you again, his lips firmer, more confident.  His hand went from your jaw to your waist, pulling you close against him as your arms wound around his neck.  The desire written into his touch, his lips, emboldened you to open your mouth slightly and swipe your tongue against his lips.  Barbatos’s lips curled into a smirk against yours, a deep chuckle vibrating in his chest. He acquiesced to your silent plea and opened his mouth, his tongue meeting yours.

Your body awakened at the warmth and taste of him, the acrid coffee still sharp on his tongue.  You pressed yourself harder against him, and his body pivoted until you were pinned between himself and the counter, your coffee cups long since forgotten and growing cold while your body grew hotter.

Finally, Barbatos broke the kiss, his forehead pressed against yours as his hands tightened on your hips.  “You’re going to make me behave improperly if you continue to torture me so.”

He was taller than you, much taller; you barely came up to his shoulder.  It made the buckle of his belt press against your stomach.

And below that...

Heat pooled in your core, desire heavy in your gaze.

“Oh no, not improper,” you teased, your hands on his hips in return as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Barbatos chuckled as he cupped your cheek. “What a troublemaker... however,” - he forced his body to separate from yours - “I would like to perhaps court you before repurposing your kitchen.”

You pouted your lip in disappointment, and Barbatos stared at the gesture with flushed cheeks.  His thumb came up and brushed against your protruding lower lip.  “Don’t do that,” he chided.

You grinned and playfully nibbled at his thumb, trapping it between your teeth.  His eyes darkened. He leaned in to kiss you again, but your words halted his approach just as his lips started to brush yours.

“How about dessert?” you asked against his mouth.  “Our coffee was so bitter, we deserve something sweet.”

Barbatos froze and gave a frustrated chuckle.  “Is this how it’s going to be from now on?”

You grinned.  “Maybe...”

“Hmm,” he hummed. Then he leaned closer to you until his lips brushed your ear.  “Sounds like fun...”

Your legs felt like jelly, your heart pounding so fiercely you were sure it was going to jump from your chest into his.

But then Barbatos pulled away, putting distance between you. “Fortunately for you, I happen to have a wide variety of desserts waiting in the kitchen at the castle. So,” he extended his hand to and bowed, “if you’ll accompany me...”

You smiled and took his hand. “I’d be happy to.”

“Wonderful. Let us take a shortcut.”

Barbatos opened a doorway out of thin air, and with your hand linked with his, guided you through.

Part 2 (link coming soon!)

[somethingwittyandweird]

So I finished Sea of Stars today (as anyone with me on their dash will find out as soon as they scroll past this post). Long story short, I loved it! It was a really solid experience from start to finish, and I'm going to take a moment here to sing some praises.

Early on the first thing that charmed me was the environment design- it felt like I could follow my character's journey visually on the world map through the zones when I entered and exited them, which just testifies to how well made the overworld map is. The environment designs were just great in general- every place was visually interesting and some of the backgrounds were absolutely jaw dropping.

I liked the combat system! It's not hard by any means but it's fun. It starts out slow to ramp up the interesting features and many times in the early game I felt like combats were over before I got to use any cool moves, but by the time you unlock all the mechanics it's a really dynamic system. I like the choice to flatten the MP bars and skill costs and put an emphasis on alternating spending MP on two-three skills and then basic attacking to replenish it. The live mana system gives another dynamic angle that ended up feeling a lot like Octopath's BP system in execution (again, setting up a cadence of small attacks to charge -> big damage attack -> repeat) but also interacted well with the lock system. The combo attacks are a highlight and the elemental lock system encourages nearly all of them to enter the rotation. The only gripe I have is that the Obligatory Indie RPG Timed Hits Like Paper Mario, while they do have good feel once you get them down, *really* could have used a timing example on first appearance, or someplace to practice using them. When a new party member showed up with a completely different attack pattern, it took me several fights of pressing A at random times during the animation to figure out where the right timing window was. Turning on the modifier that gave feedback on perfect timing was helpful to know when I had it, but I didn't like having to guess what part of the animation I was aiming at in the first place.

The characters were excellent- though I don't have much to say about some of them, others of them felt like they were aimed directly at me and the types of character I like. There were multiple times that I was delighted to see a new character get to join the ensemble and not just remain in place. I think they were all treated well by the story and most importantly, all had their moments to shine. On that, the story in this one was also excellent- some good twists and some *really* heartfelt plot beats that will stick with me. One visually shattering moment in the middle gave me that awe-struck "oh to experience that again for the first time" feeling whenever I passed through that area thereafter. Just an overall good story well told.

Like I said in my last post, I enjoyed the gamefeel of traversal, which is surprising since JRPGs aren't really a movement focused genre. But again, with the addition of verticality, climbing up ledges and rock walls, and later on the grapple hook to cross gaps, I was pretty engaged even when backtracking- though there was very little backtracking, since the world and environments were designed as very straightforward and easy to navigate. The collectibles and sidequests were at a good challenge level where they weren't free but they also didn't take dozens of hours to scour the world for the hidden door, etc. The game also gives you a modifier that gives a radar for collectibles too making it easy to get that nice shiny completion star. And the sidequests were all worthwhile too, especially the late game character-specific questlines. The full completion reward true ending surprised me at first, but I settled into it once the feelings started to flow.

It wouldn't be fair to the game to not mention the way it wears its love for Chrono Trigger and other SNES-era JRPGs on its sleeve. If "Guest Composer: Yasunori Mitsuda" wasn't enough of a clue, the story is tucked full of easter eggs and references, combo attacks and enemies and environments and plot beats that fans of Chrono Trigger would identify easily. But I think it handles the inspiration well, being an homage that still keeps up its own identity. The lore tying it to the studio's other game, The Messenger, helps with that. It's not just "hey let's remake this game we're all nostalgic for beat for beat" and more "hey let's do our own thing but throw in a lot of nods for us and for other people who are nostalgic for this."

Overall, playing the game was great to end 2023 and finishing the game is a killer start to 2024! A very hearty recommend from me.

[venusdeus]

Court of Kings - Chapter 1

Summary: Sent to a neighboring kingdom to secure an alliance, forced to give up your dreams and ambitions, disregarded as a means to an end. You however have no desire to fulfil their wishes. And neither does Oikawa.

Pairing: Oikawa Tooru x female reader

Genre: Fluff, comedy, angst, royalty au, arranged marriage au, enemies to lovers au (more like enemies to allies to friends to lovers), eventual smut?

Word count: 2700+

Warnings: All the characters are adults unless specified. This chapter is sfw. Minors do not interact.

Notes: Part 1 of a long series I’m planning to write. This is my first fic in this blog so I would greatly appreciate comments, follows and feedback!

Read Prologue first <...> Chapter 2

August 5th

The first messengers arrived when you were having afternoon tea with your literature instructor in the gardens of your summer residence, as your brother was practicing his sword skills not too far. A maid sent by your mother brought you the news of their negotiation a few hours later, accompanied by some of the strawberry macarons you loved so much.  

If it were up to you, you would refuse such a ridiculous offer even before it was brought to your attention. Now that they had a male heir to the throne however, there was no use of a girl that had no claim to become the future ruler, other than being sent to create diplomatic relations now that you were over twenty summers.

“Where do you think they are from?” your brother asked as he tried to dust off his clothes, quite tired from following the orders of his practice partner all day long.

“I wouldn’t know, I didn’t see any flags with them.” you continued as he looked disappointed “But they were wearing blue, so at least we know it's not from the south.”

He nodded; his eyes wide with worry “I am glad they are not sending you there.”

“No one is sending me anywhere yet Hiro.” you answered quite annoyed, turning your head sharply to glare at the boy.

It was not his fault per see but him being recognized as the heir has left you in an awkward situation for the past twelve years. You loved your brother dearly, unlike the distant relationship you had with your parents. It was not because you had the ambition to rule the kingdom either. Of course, it was unfair as you were the firstborn, and if not for what was between your legs, you would also have been the one to inherit the crown.

Even if that was so, you simply did not find it in yourself to become a leader. You, however, did wish to be able to shape your own future. One that did not involve fulfilling the selfish wishes of others.

“It would be awfully lonely without you.” he sighed, instantly making you feel guilty for sounding a little bit too harsh.

Hiro looked incredibly small for his age, standing there with his shoulders slouched, fingers flicking, a skinny and sickly kid since the day he was born. He took after your father with his dark hair and almost pitch-black eyes, but with your mother's facial features, a contrast to your own looks that bore no resemblance to any of them, another reason for your alienation from the rest of the family.

“And it would be awfully quiet without you.” you teased “Maybe then I would be able to read in peace.”

Several footsteps coming behind you silenced you both before Hiro could retort, cutting the joyful air and replacing it with a heavy feeling.

Your mother was a beautiful woman that much was true, but in a different way to that of her kids. The Queen had extremely sharp features and her painted lips always supported a displeased frown. She acted as her title suggested, prim and proper, she fit her role perfectly.

Renowned for her charm when she was younger, she did not lose much to the ages if not for the wrinkles next to her keen eyes and the white threads on her hair. Likewise, she was as smart as she was alluring. Coming from a family that lost their wealth a long time ago even though they still supported titles, no one would even dream of her being second to the sole ruler of their beloved country. She was a success-driven woman, which made her a threat in the eyes of many in the court, thus she was not given the right to make a decision when it came to the education of the heirs she produced. Although affectionate towards her kids first, she had no say on the time she had with them, causing their family ties to weaken, and mostly spent her time with foreign ambassadors. A responsibility entrusted upon her by her husband.

“I see you received my message.” she declared not looking at you directly “We will talk more about this after our guests leave. For now, I want both of you to go to your rooms and stay there until dinner.”

You could sense the irritation in her voice. It was not for her kids, however, as you could see the dark circles under her eyes, a sign of her losing sleep for the past few days.

“Won’t we meet our guests?” Hiro questioned before you could.

“It is not needed as they are only messengers.” the Queen answered shortly before continuing her walk towards the main hall, her maids trailing behind. “I will see you two in an hour.”

Leaving your brother behind, you decided to head down towards the observatory. You knew that you would get an earful from your maids later for not changing your garments for the dinner, but your head was filled with too many questions and negative possibilities to care about dresses. It was not as if you did not know that this day would come. It even took longer than expected if all things considered. Most in your position would be engaged before they even stopped using diapers. It was a more political alliance than anything else, decided by the respective kingdoms and the advisors.

You even saw the letters that were exchanged since last year with multiple seals supporting different coat of arms. The council of your father must have declined the offers before this. Not for your sake, at least you didn’t think it was, but for not suiting their taste. It was a big deal for the princess of a country, whether being the heir or not, to marry someone as it reassured the ties you would create.

The only positive thing that happened so far was the fact that you would not be sent to the south. The Southern Kingdom was placed across the sea and was an important trade partner to your own.

It was a wealthy country for sure, but also too grim and the people too wild. Other than the traded goods it wasn’t a traveller-friendly country. They kept to themselves and even though the only thing that separated the two port kingdoms was a narrow sea, they had a vastly different culture. These differences resulted in legends and the rumors about the country becoming more and more outrageous over time.

They called their men barbaric, only interested in hunt and the art of war. Their women proclaimed witches, quite beautiful unlike the stereotype, but worshippers of a different God. All just foolish rumors said your history instructor. He was a wise man that travelled a lot when he was younger and according to him these tales were nonsense. Their folk did not originate there but immigrated over a few centuries ago. He taught you that the people of the Southern Kingdom were that of culture and arts. They just did not like intruders. His words didn’t ease your or Hiro’s heart however as you were fed these tales since you were younger.

If you could find a way to escape from this responsibility you would. Yet, since the first time you sensed what was going on you were looking for an answer, just to be disappointed every time.

The dinner was cold and tasteless even though it was made from the best ingredients one could manage to find. “The lady that makes them must hate her occupation with a passion” claimed your brother when you were dismissed “I can’t understand how mother likes it.”

Once again, the King did not join you at the table. It was always the same excuse, politics, responsibilities. But you knew better. You knew why your parents did not share a bed anymore and you could see the looks women of the court gave to your father. It was not because the King was a good-looking man, quite the opposite in fact, but power attracted people.

You were fully grown now and even when you were younger, you knew what these actions indicated. You even had the most unfortunate memory of seeing one of them, who was not much older than you, leaving your father's chamber looking quite flushed. You would have not cared if only the woman did not give you a curtsy while supporting a smirk.

Lady Winna was her real name, daughter of a lord that was close to the King, nicknamed Lady Whore by you. And most of the time, she was the reason your father would skip the meals altogether only to receive a feast in his room later that night. Which was why you knew that you should never hope for a love match. If lucky you could maybe be friends with your future partner.

“She does not hate her job, she hates her life” you replied “Not that it would matter, she will leave soon. I heard she was pregnant with a lord’s child. A married one on top of that.”

Hiro gasped “What if someone were to hear you talking about these rumors” he exclaimed hitting your arm quite forcefully “you could be punished.”

“Don’t act as if you never say such stuff you little bridge troll. I know how you talk behind your instructors.” you mused rubbing the pain off. “And who will punish a princess I ask you? If not for mother or father?”

“Do I need to know what I should punish you for?”

Both you and Hiro jumped at the unexpected voice of the Queen, a gasp leaving your mouths. She was holding a box in her hand and her face was supporting a rare, serene expression.

“Nothing of importance.” replied Hiro quickly “We were just afraid of falling behind our studies.”

The Queen did not seem convinced as her eyes narrowed, but she had a small genuine smile on. “I see. Why don’t you go on ahead and start your nightly studies then? I need to talk to your sister privately in the meantime.”

Hiro let out a snort that he tried to cover with a cough. You are in trouble he mouthed before bowing to your mother and disappearing through the corridor.

“I would like you to know I was just repeating what the ladies in the court were saying. Not that I believe the rumors of course, it is quite indecent.” you tried to explain quickly but the Queen cut you with a shake of her head.

“That is not why I wanted to talk to you dear. It is however quite incident for a lady to talk that way you are right.” she sighed “Why don’t we talk in my study?”

You knew what was coming now, after all you could not remember the last time you had a conversation with your mother alone, the relaxed expression on her face, however, gave you hope. Maybe, you thought, they decided it was not time yet. Or maybe they did not like the offers that came through.

“Close the door, will you?” she asked walking towards the desk that stood before the bookshelves that covered the walls.

“Where are your attendants?” you questioned as you followed her inside “Is there something wrong?”

“I thought you would be more comfortable if it were just the two of us that’s all. I need to show you something.” She answered motioning towards the box she was holding. “It came this morning. For you of course. Go on, open it.”

The box itself was made from heavy oak, painted black with a family crest carved on top of it. The symbol looked familiar enough, but you could not concentrate enough to remember where you knew it from over the heavy beating of your heart. Opening it cautiously you took a sharp breath between your teeth, observing the contents.

Inside stood a tiara that was made from white gems shaped in intricate designs that you have not encountered before and in the middle stood an icy blue diamond so big that you could have sworn it must have cost the yearly earnings of a whole country.

“Not a ring.” You stated matter of factly “A very bold choice for a gift.”

“Indeed. But you cannot expect less from Seijoh.” Your mother replied with a cautious voice, almost as if she was calculating your reaction.

“Seijoh…” the box cluttered on the table as you let go of it abruptly “You are sending me up north? We waged war against them for years! Even before my grandfather! And now you are sending me there?”

You knew the country itself was wealthy enough and that it had a strong military presence. They had many allies within the countries that bordered yours as well.  But they also claimed right on your countries throne by sighting territorial dispute as well as a marriage between the two countries that produced no heir.

Now they were sending you there as a scapegoat. To secure his claim to the throne. And maybe even to theirs. An eye for an eye.

It took another week for your father to send a response and invite the Crown Prince and the King of Seijoh for a short visit before the decision was finalized and another two for them to arrive on the outskirts of your kingdom with their entourage behind.

As you sat in your suite biting your nails and waiting for their arrival, your maids were going in and out with different dresses in their hands looking for your approval. You on the other hand did not have the mental energy to entertain their ideas. It was bad enough that you had to attend a ball given in their honor that very evening, but you also had to be in the throne room soon enough to welcome them into the castle. Not to mention this would be the first time that you were to meet your possible future husband.

You heard of him before of course. How could you not when his reputation preceded him? A very cunning and ambitious young man, yet it was his looks that brought the most gossip. You heard his name whispered among the staff when they did not know you were listening and heard the ladies giggle when they mentioned the time that they spent in their court, with him.

It was enough to leave a sour taste in your mouth. Was it too much to ask that your future partner was a man of intelligence and few words? At least you would know that you could get along with him then. But a sharp and striking Casanova? They had to be jesting. That was the only possible explanation for this mockery.

As if your fathers’ ridiculous behaviors wasn’t enough now you had to entertain another man like him. It was pretty common for monarchs to take on other lovers, but you would not be embarrassed by a man you did not know in your own house, husband or not.

When you finally entered the throne room you could hear the commotion outside caused by non-other than the infamous man that was plaguing your thoughts for the past week. Your mother motioned you to hurry and take your place with a sudden turn of her chin just before the doors opened.

The rumors did not do him justice you thought as he strutted towards you and your family, your breath caught in your throat.

Oikawa Tooru was without a doubt the most beautiful man you ever laid eyes on.

He was beautiful alright.

And with his charming eyes staring straight at your own and his delicate hands placed on his sword, he looked ready to murder.

It might look like a filler episode, but I needed to give background and I love to build anticipation. Sorry not sorry? Reblogs are appreciated! And also this was not edited I posted it right after writing it so if you see any mistake let me know.

Disclaimer:  No portion of this story may be reproduced in any form without permission. I do not own the character of Oikawa Tooru. This is a work of fiction.

TAG LIST: Let me know if you want me to tag you.

@triskoof​ @sassyglassesbunny​ @m-a-r-i-a-s-b-l-o-g

[andrei-svech]

today, tomorrow and all of our lives | n. mackinnon

Word Count: 7.3k Warnings: Some smut in the middle, swearing, minor character death. Summary: Leah reflects on her relationship with Nate through a series of memories they’ve shared in the minutes before they say I do.  a/n: Full disclosure this is the first piece I’ve written in almost 10 years. It turned out way longer than expected and I am so terrified to post it but I hope you all love it as much as I do. Any and all feedback is appreciated, happy reading! 

As she looked into the mirror, running her fingers over the white silk lining her frame, all she felt was calm. Peace. She’d surprised herself in that regard. She’d expected nerves, expected anxiousness, but she didn’t feel either. She simply felt calm. Her fingers moved up toward the tulle settled neatly in her hair, then ran down the fabric of what had once been her grandmother’s veil. Her something borrowed. She thought of her grandmother then, of the relationship between her and her grandfather, one that had lasted almost sixty years before they’d left this life together, just months apart and still madly in love. The kind of love she’d hoped for as she watched them as a child, then as a teen, then as an adult. The same kind of love she felt she’d found when she met him. Her eyes closed, thinking back to the day she’d first laid eyes on him.

The excited little voices of the children filing back into her classroom brought a small smile to Leah’s face in an instant. Kindergarten had just finished art, and as she watched them come in and sit back at their tables, she silently thanked Mrs. Claskey for the lack of paint on their clothes and hands. There’d been a small (according to Mrs. Claskey, not so much to Leah) incident last week at the very end of art class that had somehow ended in Jack Ledger’s entire right arm and half of his shirt covered in brown paint. Of course the 5th graders had already been lined up at the door waiting to come in, so Mrs. Claskey hadn’t had time to clean him up. That’d been a fun afternoon at the sink for Jack and Leah. Once all of the children were seated, Leah stood from her rocking chair at the front of the room and raised her hand. Her students followed suit, having been conditioned to quiet down and raise their own hands when she did so. Their hands lowered as she began to speak.

“Alright, my friends. I know we’re excited, today’s a special day for us. We have new friends coming to spend time with us this week! Do we remember who they are?” As soon as she finished, little hands all over the room shot back up. Leah looked around, pointing to the tiny blonde in the far too large and, Leah suspected second hand, Avalanche jersey dead center. “Emory, who are they?” “The Colorado Avalanche, Ms. Brewer! They play hockey here, at the Pepsi Center! My dad says some day they’ll win the… the um…” “The Stanley Cup?” Leah supplied. That and what information Emory had spoken aloud was about all she knew of them as well, not really following the sport herself. “Yes!” Emory continued, “The Stanley Cup!” Leah nodded and clasped her hands together. “Good job Emory that’s right! Some of the players from the Avalanche are coming to meet us this afternoon. They’re just as excited to meet you as you are to meet them. But before we can do that, we need to talk about the rules for when we have guests in our classroom.” A small groan sounded throughout the room and Leah giggled under her breath. “Okay, okay. I know talking about our rules isn’t always fun, but we want to show them how kind and polite we can be, right?” Twenty-two heads nodded, so she continued. “Good! Okay, who can tell me our rules then? Thomas?” Her gaze fixed on the quiet boy in the back corner, smiling slightly at him as he straightened up in his chair. Leah had been subtly attempting to bring Thomas out of his shell throughout his time in her class. As she remembered his silence and lack of eye contact at the beginning of the year, she felt nothing but pride for how far he’d come. “We don’t leave our spot at the carpet unless you or our guest says that we can. We sit criss cross applesauce and don’t touch our friends while we’re listening. When we want to talk or as a question, we raise our hands until someone calls on us. And we always show kindness to our friends, our visitors and our teachers.” Leah felt a swell of pride at the last bit. She had a great group of kids this year, and though she knew she shouldn’t play favorites, if she’d had a list this class would be up at the top for years to come. Teaching at a school in a low income area of Denver wasn’t what she’d expected herself to do after graduation, but she adored it all the same, and the children she’d taught were all incredibly special to her.

“Good, Thomas! But there’s one more rule we forgot, the most important rule. I know we remember, so how about let’s all say it together?” “Have fun!” “Yes! Have fun! I don’t think it’ll be hard with these new friends.” She glanced up at the clock then that read one o’clock on the dot. “Okay friends, time to make our way to the carpet! Please find your spot in our circle.” As her students got up and made their way to their seats in front of the rocking chair, she heard multiple people enter her room and all twenty-three heads, including her own, turned toward the intruders. Leah studied them for a moment as they made their way through the desks toward the group. There were two of them, both in blue and burgundy jerseys graced with the numbers 29 and 92 and an A and a C, respectively. Excited gasps and whispers filled the front of the room. The first to reach them was 92, and probably the most conventionally attractive man Leah had ever seen in person. His perfectly straight, shining white teeth were on full display, a wide grin stretch prominently across his face. His attention was focused solely on the children, so Leah looked past him and settled her eyes on the other, 29. She was surprised to find his attention fixed on her. She was also surprised at the butterflies that filled her stomach when her eyes met his. The bright blue staring back at her was like a shock to her system. She felt herself blush and quickly averted her gaze down to the jeans, white tank top and baggy yellow cardigan she’d pulled from her closet that morning. ‘Probably would have been a good day to dress it up a bit, Leah.’ She quickly shook herself from her thoughts and smiled at 92, still unable to meet the eyes of 29. “Hi there! I’m Ms. Brewer. We’ve all really been looking forward to this, I know they have especially.” Leah gestured to her excited students, some of the visibly trying to stop themselves from squirming in their places. He smiled at her and took her outstretched hand, shaking it and then setting his sights back to the children. “Hi everybody, we’ve been really excited to meet you! I’m Gabe, and this is Nate.” He gestured behind him to number 29. Nate. The name bounced around her head like a stray pinball. Nathan Mackinnon. She remembered seeing his face plastered over billboards downtown, along with that of who she now remembered 92 to be, captain Gabriel Landeskog. The two large hockey players sat in the admittedly too small chairs in front of the group, and Leah quietly made her way to the corner of the room, plopping in her desk chair to watch the interaction between Gabe, Nate and her students. As they excitedly asked and answered questions and talked about school, hockey and life in general (as much as five and six year old children could), Leah found herself unable to look away from Nate. He wasn’t handsome in the way that Gabe was. His nose and teeth were slightly crooked, and his jaw a bit more squared, but she found him incredibly attractive all the same. He smiled brightly at the group of children in front of him and enthusiastically spoke with them, his laugh speeding up the butterflies she still felt. She again found herself shaking her from her own thoughts, looking down at the papers on her desk. Leah hadn’t dated anyone seriously since her disastrous relationship with Scott had ended just before her college graduation. They had met in high school and began dating junior year, when they were both far too young and impulsive to have actually found the kind of love that was meant to last. They were two different people from the start, Scott preferring to get plastered at a large house party, Leah preferring to spend her Friday night on the couch under a blanket watching bad television. They had somehow lasted through their first three and a half years of college together, though they spent large chunks of it arguing or in silence, before Leah had discovered that the last seven months of their relationship he’d spent in bed with a blonde he’d met in one of his classes. She’d been devastated, but deep down she’d known he wasn’t the man she was meant to marry. Following graduation, she’d packed her things, picked up and moved to Denver for a fresh start, and hadn’t looked back since. She blamed her lack of dating for her current thoughts about Nate. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she was surprised when she heard one of her students saying her name, immediately turning her attention back to the carpet ready to answer, though she found Millie still speaking to Gabe and Nate. “-she’s the best! She’s so much fun, even when she’s making us do our counting worksheets. Ooh, she lets us sing our weather song every morning, that’s my favorite part of the day.” Millie turned towards Leah and spoke directly to her, “Ms. Brewer, can you sing the song for them! It’s so much fun, they’ll love it.” Leah blushed slightly but chuckled as all twenty-two excited smiles and two curious pairs of eyes turned towards her. “Why don’t we all sing it together? Show them how great we are at it.” Leah led the excited group through their morning weather song about the rain, the snow, the wind and the sunshine and as they finished (loudly) she once again looked at the two blonde men and found Gabe smiling widely at the class while Nate looked at her with a small smile of his own. Her face warmed yet again as they all began clapping and laughing at her as she grinned and took a small bow in her chair. Conversation between Gabe and her students continued, but for a long moment Nate’s gaze remained fixed on her. She looked down at the papers on her desk again, trying not to read too much into his glances that were frequently aimed at her. All too quickly the two men stood from the chairs and bid goodbye to the students and after a collective “aww” and a round of high fives, left the room to meet the fifth graders waiting for them in the gym. As Leah focused on getting her students back to their seats at their tables, she didn’t notice Nate casting one last look through the door as they left, his eyes only set on her. By three o’clock all of her students were gone and Leah made her way around the room, cleaning up leftover trash and wiping the crumbs from their end of day snack from the tables. She jumped as she heard the deep voice coming from just outside her door. “Hi, did you need some help?” Her head snapped towards the voice and her eyes again met the bright blue that hadn’t left her mind for the rest of the afternoon. The small smile she’d gotten before was present on Nate’s face as he watched her drop the wad of colored paper in her hands into the trash. “Oh no thank you, I’ll be okay here.” She silently willed the butterflies dancing around her stomach and the blush painting her cheeks to go away as he stepped further into the classroom and waved her off, starting to push the chairs into the tables as he spoke again. “It’s no problem, it’ll go faster if we work together. Besides, Gabe’s somewhere shooting extra footage with our media team and this’ll get me out of that.” They both chuckled at that and she nodded, keeping her eyes averted as she helped push in the chairs. “I’m Nathan. Mackinnon. Nathan Mackinnon. But, um, everybody just sort of calls me Nate.” “Nice to meet you, Nate. I’m Leah, Leah Brewer.” She knew there were nerves in her voice, but she didn’t know if she’d imagined the hint of them in his. They worked in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. “So, Leah, are you from Denver?” She shook her head. “No, I grew up in Murraysville. It’s in Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh.” He lit up a bit, turning towards her fully. “One of my best friends lives there, plays for the Penguins. Sidney’s his name, Sidney Crosby.” She shot him a playfully unimpressed glance as she stopped pushing in the chair. “Now Nate. I may not know much about hockey, but I can assure you, even I know who Sidney Crosby is.” She laughed quietly at the blush that tinted his cheeks and he chuckled along with her, shaking his head. “Yeah that was stupid, sorry.” They kept on cleaning up the last of the classroom until he plopped into the last chair. “So, what brought you to Denver all the way from the East Coast?”
 Leah figured that since he’d sat down, he wasn’t planning on leaving right away, so she made her way to her rocking chair. She thought for a moment before she answered. It wasn’t like she could come right out and tell him Scott had emotionally destroyed her, so she settled for the cliche, generic answer she gave most people when they asked her. “I graduated from college and just… needed a fresh start.” He nodded slightly, but by the look he gave her, she knew he was curious for more. He didn’t press her, and the small talk moved onto other things, her job, then his job and then their families and friends. The conversation flowed so easily between them. By the time she realized almost forty-five minutes had passed, they were laughing and sharing stories as if they’d known each other for years, not hours. “Oh, it’s almost four o’clock, you should probably get back to Gabe and the rest of your team.” He sighed as they both looked at the clock, like he knew she was right but also like he didn’t want to leave. “You’re right. It was really nice meeting you though.” He stood from the chair as she returned the sentiment and turned to leave the room. He’d made it almost fully out the door before he stopped and turned around asking her one last question. “Listen, I don’t… this might be a little forward, I- would you maybe want to go out to dinner sometime? With me? Like, as a date?” She stared at him in surprise for a moment and then thought about her answer. Sure, she hadn’t really dated much since Scott, but it had been three years and thousands of miles since then. And there was something about Nate that intrigued her, something that had caused the butterflies to erupt the minute they’d made eye contact. Something that made her answer fairly easy. “Sure, Nate, I’d really like that.” The memory flooded away as she opened her eyes and looked back into the mirror. One dinner date had led to another, which had led to a few more, then spending the night at her place and then his. She’d met Cox then, which she was glad had gone well because, as Nate had told her later, he couldn’t date somebody Cox didn’t like. That had led to her meeting his teammates and their significant others, and him meeting her friends. That summer when his season and her semester had ended, they traveled to Murraysville where he met her family, and Nova Scotia where she met his. Before they knew it a little over a year had flown by and they’d bought their first house together. She chuckled at that memory, instantly thinking back to the mess of hockey players that had filled their home the day they moved in. “Josty come on, man! The box says fragile!” Leah giggled from her place in the kitchen at the sound of JT’s voice echoing down the hallway, and then at Nate’s voice, floating in from his spot in their living room. ���Don’t break any more of my shit, Josty, you know I still haven’t forgiven you and Z for the broken lamp from the Christmas party.” Mel snorted across the counter, Jackie shaking her head as Leah placed the last of the bowls in the cabinet. “They’re a fucking mess, the whole group of them.” Jackie and Mel laughed and nodded in agreement before moving to start on loading the cutlery into the drawers. Leah made her way from the kitchen into the living room, passing by Gabe, EJ and Naz walking to the front door to pull more of the heavier pieces of furniture from the truck. “Thank you guys again for helping us with all of this. No way Nate could have done all the heavy lifting himself the softie.” She smirked at the indignant ‘hey!’ that came from their sofa and the boys chuckled before assuring her again it was no problem and heading for the door, EJ jostling her on his way. She rolled her eyes but smiled at the toothless grin she got in return, passing them to plop down next to her boyfriend, leaning heavily into his side and closing her eyes with a yawn as he lightly kissed her forehead. “Tired, baby?” “Mhm.” As she opened her eyes again, she finally took the chance to look around their living room, the large bay windows bathing the room in sunlight. Boxes were scattered around, the television still waiting to be mounted above the fireplace and the shelves empty, save for one photo. Her eyes landed on it and she smiled fondly, one of her favorites of the two of them. It was taken in Cole Harbour on one of their last trips. They sat together on the boat, her leaning against his side with his arms wrapped around her, much like they were now. They’d gone for a sunset cruise with Sid and Kathy and Tyson and Emma who had also come back up north, just chatting and enjoying the company when Kathy told them to pose, that the sunset created the perfect backdrop behind them. As they leaned into each other and smiled at the camera, Tyson said something from just beside Kathy that had drawn her attention as Kathy snapped the photo. She’s laughing in his direction in the photo, still leaning against Nate who’s smile is directed only at her. The love between the two of them is obvious, which is exactly why it’s one of her favorites. Leah is drawn from the memory captured in the photo when she feels Nate’s lips on the top of her head again and the smile on her face grows even wider. She listens to the sounds of a pot clattering to the floor in the kitchen followed by Jackie’s voice scolding EJ and Gabe and Mel laughing, Josty, JT and Burky pushing each other around in the hallway and Nate’s slow, even breathing right beside her on the couch. As her eyes closed once more, she couldn’t remember if she’d ever in her life felt as happy as she did in that moment. Nate’s fingers ran through her hair and she pulled slightly out of his embrace, taking a moment to silently study the man she’d so quickly found herself falling madly in love with. “What’s on your mind?” he asks her, and she finds herself overwhelmed with emotion as she tries to put her thoughts into words. “I love our friends. I love our new house, but I love even more that we get to make it a home. I love this life that I get to build with you. I love you Nate.” The silent exchange that directly followed was just as meaningful, if not more so, than the words she’d just spoken. She could feel it. He’d felt it too. “I love you, too.” He hadn’t said much, but what he had said had told her everything she needed to know. She’s yanked quickly from that memory as the door to the bridal suite opens. Linnea flounced into the room in her white tulle dress, looking every bit the little princess they all considered her to be. Mel shuffled in behind her before the door is closed again. The soft pink of her dress perfectly complimented her blonde hair and pale skin, amplifying her beauty even further. Mel and Gabe were two of the best things to come from her relationship with Nate, quickly becoming some of her very best friends. Through every hardship or struggle she’d faced during her relationship with Nate he’d been right there beside her, but the Landeskogs had been right there on her other side. She still feels a jolt of happiness when she remembers finding out about Linnea for the first time, and the first time she got to hold her. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as they entered the room, fiddling with the small diamond bracelet Mel had given to her as a gift the night before from both her and Gabe, her something new. Mel snorted, joking “What, already thinking about the honeymoon?” Of course she hadn’t been before, but she started to now, and she quickly tried to ignore the tingle she felt between her legs at the next memory, one from just a few weeks ago.     “Oh fuck, yes.” Leah’s eyes were shut tightly, mouth wide open, one of Nate’s arms thrown across her lower stomach to keep her from squirming as his tongue slowly circled her clit. She was panting, hard, one of her hands wound tightly in his blonde hair while the other held onto their headboard. She’d already come once on his fingers, but he hadn’t shown any signs of slowing down. He groaned as he pulled away slightly, his mouth and chin covered in her wetness and let his eyes roam back up her body, flushed, until they met hers. “Fucking love your pussy, baby.” He dove back into her cunt then like it was a five-course meal as she tightened her grip on him and moaned loudly, her body thrashing and hurtling toward her second climax. She’d found out early on in their relationship that in contrast to how soft he was with her normally, in bed Nate was filthy. And she fucking loved it. They both shared a high sex drive, and when they first started dating, they’d gone at it like rabbits. In the morning in the shower before she left for work, on their couch when he’d gotten home from a game, one particularly exciting afternoon when he’d come home after practice and laid her out on his kitchen table. They constantly got each other off over FaceTime or Skype when he was on the road, and on their first bye week together they spent almost the entire five days of their trip fucking on every surface of the villa they’d rented. She’d been sore for almost a week. And after almost four years of dating, it hadn’t really slowed down at all. When Nate moved his tongue from inside her back to her clit, flattening it and shaking his head from side to side, she felt her orgasm crash over her. “Fuuuuck yes!” Her back arched sharply off the bed as she rode out the waves of her high, Nate continuing to lick and suck at her through it. As she worked to catch her breath, he kissed his way back up her body, biting down softly on her neck when he reached her sweet spot. “So sexy when you cum. Think you can give me one more, baby?” Though she was exhausted from the first two orgasms he’d given her, she still nodded enthusiastically and let her hand snake down his body, taking him in her hand and guiding him toward her center. She let out a sigh which turned into a quiet moan as he entered her. Of all the men she’d been with, which though admittedly wasn’t many, Nate was the biggest. His length was average, but he was thick, spreading her open and filling her better than any man ever had before. Their mouths met as he started to move inside of her, swallowing the noises she made. She knew it wouldn’t take much for either of them, her already sensitive from her first two highs and him keyed up from the reactions he’d gotten while giving them to her. As his thrusts picked up in both pace and in power, their kisses turned more into breathing and moaning into each other’s mouths before he moved back down to her neck then down further, taking one of her nipples into his mouth and biting before rolling it between his teeth. “Ah, daddy please, I need to come, I need to come.” She whined, rolling her hips up to meet his the best she could. He kept his pace and shook his head slightly. “Wait baby, wait for daddy. I’ll give you what you need, be patient.” He stopped for a moment and took her ankles into his hands, placing them up over his shoulders and she cried out as he began thrusting against her harder and faster, hitting a spot deeper in her than before. Her breathing went ragged and she struggled to get out anything but whines, which quickly turned into yells, then sobs. “Please daddy! Please, I’m gonna, I can’t- I need to cum!” she clawed at his back, her head lolling back against the pillows as she felt his hips begin to move more frantically and uncontrolled. “Yeah baby, fucking cum for me. Show daddy who makes you feel like this, who’s pussy this is.” She shrieked and seconds later felt her fluids gush around him, pulling a loud groan from him as he followed her over the edge. “Fuuuuuck yeah baby, your pussy feels so good when you cum around me. Fucking angel.” He grunted, filling her with his seed. They’d stopped using condoms six months in and he maintains it was one of the best decisions they’d made. She couldn’t help but agree with him as she felt his warmth pulsing inside of her.   When they’d both given each other everything they had, he dropped down gently over her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she trembled through the aftershocks of her third high of the night. Soft kisses were planted across her neck and jaw and she lightly combed her fingers through the sweaty mess of blonde on the nape of his neck. These were some of her favorite moments with Nate. Just after a round of great sex when they just laid catching their breaths in the silence, still connected and just basking in the warmth of being together. All she was capable of thinking about in those moments was the man laying over her and how much she loved him. “I love you baby.” He whispered quietly to her as he pulled away from his place at her shoulder, leaving her with a languid, toe curling kiss on her lips and feelings of love for him swirling around her body. It was Mel snorting again that brought her back to reality and she turned toward the other blonde, realizing she’d been biting her lip as she got caught up in the memory. “Jesus, I was kidding. My child is in the room.” Mel smirked and Linnea answered perfectly with a giggle from her spot in the corner, making both women laugh. She turned back toward the mirror to readjust her veil for what felt like the twentieth time since it’d been put in her hair. Mel continued. “Anyways, we just came by to tell you we’ve got about 15 minutes to go time. Maid of honor duties and all.” She winked making both of them laugh again before she swept Linnea into her arms, heading for the door “We’ll leave you alone now, see you in a bit.” As she exited the room, another woman entered. “My baby. Look at you, you look beautiful.” Her mother moved to stand by her side in the mirror, placing a hand gently on her shoulder, eyes filling with tears as they met hers in the mirror. “Your dad would be so proud, sweetheart.” Her own eyes filled with tears this time and as she closed them, she could hear the beeping of the heart monitor and smell the sterile scent of the hospital as clear as day. She couldn’t breathe. The only word to describe her in that moment was numb. Her eyes traced the wires to the white linen blanket, up to the machine that measured the slow heartbeat of the first man she’d ever loved. A face eerily similar to her own, her father had never looked thinner and paler than he did laying there in his hospital gown. ‘Brain aneurysm. Ruptured. Hemorrhagic stroke.’ The words the doctor had spoken to them rested like a weight in her head and in her chest as she stared down at their hands, hers clutching tightly and his limp and unmoving. She couldn’t cry. Not yet. She’d been holding onto hope for days now that he would wake up, that they could talk about how terribly their Steelers were doing and laugh about the clumsiness of her mother. That they could drive home together in his car, singing terribly along to the old Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin tunes he’d brought her up on. That one day he could walk her down the aisle (‘Not until you’re 30!’) and hold his first grandchild. No matter how many times she’d heard the words braindead and pull the plug, she held onto that hope, the same hope she was starting to feel slip between her fingers. The beeping was the only sound in the room aside from her mother’s sniffling and Nate’s steady breathing. Her parents had divorced just before her fourth birthday, but they’d remained great friends and worked together to raise her, something she didn’t realize how grateful she was for until she reached adulthood. It was only fitting that she, Leah and Nate were the three present at his bedside as two of them were what he always called ‘the loves of his life’ and the third one of his ‘favorite people out there’ as he’d called Nate just a few months before. The doctor entered the room again and when Leah met his gaze it was somber. She looked away almost immediately, knowing what was coming as he started speaking to them again. “I’m sorry, we’ve done all that we can, but we believe at this point it’s about a five percent chance he’ll wake, and if he does, we can almost guarantee significant brain damage. It’s in my medical opinion that you may want to consider pulling him off of the life support.” She felt it then, the first tear slip down her cheek where she sat in the chair by her father’s side. She locked eyes with her mother and they both knew what they had to do. This isn’t the way he would have wanted to live, and that’s if he did, and she wasn’t going to put him through any pain and suffering simply because it would make her happy. An hour later, after the three of them had all spoken their goodbyes and spent their last minutes with him, the machines were turned off. The beeping stopped, her father’s hand, still clutched in her own smaller, softer one went cold. Leah wept. She laid down on the bed beside her father’s body and held him, weeping as the last signs of life left his body. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t get through this. She didn’t want to live a life without her dad’s obnoxiously loud laughter and world famous bear hugs. She didn’t know how she was going to pull herself from the grief crashing over her in waves. Then a warm hand circled her ankle from its place at the foot of the bed, thumb softly smoothing over the skin there. Nate. Her rock, her stability, the calm to help her weather the storm. He’d be right by her side through it, just as he had been in everything else since the day they’d met three years ago. She knew when she felt the letters he was tracing onto her skin. I love you. It was strange but through all of her grief then, she felt the slightest bit of joy, because she also knew that her father had gotten to know and love the man she was going to marry, the love of her life. Her mother quickly pulled a handkerchief from her clutch, chastising both herself and her daughter for ‘ruining her makeup.’ She giggled as she clutched her mother’s hand and then directed a small smile at the pair of sapphire earrings she wore, a gift from her father on her eighteenth birthday and now her something blue. He was there with her, she knew that he was. Quickly wiping at her eyes, she handed the handkerchief back to her mother and went to gather her bouquet from the small table but stopped when her eyes landed on her engagement ring. One that had belonged to Nate’s grandmother, her something old. She floated away into yet another memory, and by far one of the best of her life. The air was crisp and smelled of the first signs of winter as Leah and Nate walked hand in hand down the lakeside pathway through Confluence Park. This was her favorite time of year, filled with memories of pulling out the Christmas decorations far too early with her mother as her father just smirked and shook his head at them. Memories of home games spent with her girls in the family box cheering on the men they loved. Memories of cold mornings spent curled up on the couch with Nate under the blankets, Cox at their feet as they fell in and out of sleep, watching the snowfall through the bay windows. She smiled as Nate gently tugged at Cox’s leash, willing him to slow down as they strolled lazily behind him. “This is my favorite time of year. I know I always complain about how cold it gets, but nothing beats a winter day like this.” Nate brought their joint hands up to his lips to place a kiss and replied, “I know baby. It’s one of my favorite times of year too, just because you love it.” She laughed at the cheesiness of his statement but leaned into his side, looking up at him as they slowed even more. “I love you, you know.” He didn’t reply immediately so she continued walking, only stopping when he did, turning to gaze at him curiously. It was only then that she felt the trembling of his hand still clasped in hers. “Nate? Why are we stopping, are you okay?” Cox whined behind her, probably wondering the same thing. “Yeah baby I’m fine, I just needed to say something and I wanted your full attention when I did.” This intrigued her even further but she didn’t answer, waiting for him to say whatever it is she could see was stewing in there. He stared at her for a moment longer before he started to speak again. “There’s something that I haven’t told you. I spoke to your dad on the phone a few weeks before he died. Spoke to him for quite a while, actually?” Leah was now incredibly confused, so she waited for him to continue. “You know how much I loved and respected him. I don’t know how but in three years he became another father figure to me and I wanted his opinion on something important so I called him to ask.” “What did you ask him?” her interest was thoroughly peaked as Nate’s hand dropped to his pocket, until he pulled out a small velvet box and both hands came to cover her mouth when she realized what was happening. She went completely still, tears already coming to the surface as he took a step closer to her, one of his hands still holding Cox’s leash and the other the box. “I asked him for his blessing.” He looped the leash around his wrist, but Cox was still then, sitting on the pavement at her feet, tail wagging furiously though she knew he had no idea what was occurring. How much her life was about to change. Then Nate took one of her hands from her mouth, her left hand, and held it tightly in his own. “When I was growing up, I watched my parents all the time when they were together, and you could see it in their faces when they looked at each other. It was this pure, real, genuine kind of love that doesn’t scream at you. The kind of love that’s just there, the kind that looks like making each other breakfast or bringing each other the morning paper, the kind that’s sitting on the couch together doing two completely separate things but somehow still being connected, the kind that looks like smiling through raising two children together. I saw other people find it, Mel and Gabe, Erik and Jackie, Sid and Kath. I always wanted that kind of love, but I never believed that I would have it, that I would somehow be lucky enough to find someone that loved me like that or that I could love like that. I think I realized on our third date that even if it wasn’t there yet, I could see that kind of love with you, and then it happened. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not thanking whoever’s up there in the sky or wherever they are,” she giggled slightly through her tears at that bit, “that I got lucky enough to fall in love with you. You are everything. You’re kind, you’re witty, you’re intelligent, you’re incredibly beautiful and you’re so loving to everyone around you. But especially me. You’ve loved me through every bad game, through every hotheaded tantrum, through every argument, through every loss and every heartache. It didn’t matter what I was facing, what we were facing, you’ve loved me through all of it and I can only hope to spend the rest of my life giving that love right back to you.” At this point she was ugly crying, clutching his hand so tightly her knuckles were turning white, but he pressed on. “This kind of love, the love we feel for each other is special, once in a lifetime. It doesn’t come around often and my grandma always told me when you find something like it you have to hold on as tightly as you can and never let go. This was hers, actually.” He opened the velvet box then and Leah gasped as she saw the simple round diamond set on a silver band. “After I called your dad to ask for his blessing and he not only told me yes but that he couldn’t be happier not only that his daughter had found someone she loved so much but someone who loved her the way she deserved,” she wept harder at that “I called grandma and told her I had found it, the kind of love she told me to never let go of, and the next time we were in town visiting her she gave me the ring. This ring is from a marriage full of that love and I thought it might be a good luck charm for us, not that we need it.” She laughed loudly at that and he grinned at her, but his smile softened and she found tears to match hers in his eyes as he dropped to one knee. “You’re it for me, baby. My best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life. I’ll never need to wonder again if I’ll ever find this kind of love because hopefully I’ll get to have it with you and the family we’ll build forever. If you say yes, I promise to fall asleep a little more in love with you today, tomorrow and all of our lives. I love you so much. Leah, will you marry me?” She didn’t even need to think, she knew. She’d known for years, just as she was it for him, he was it for her. “Yes. Yes, Nate. I love you. I love you.” He slid the elegant diamond onto her finger and his lips were immediately on hers, kissing her through their laughter and through their tears, over and over again. If you’d ask her, there weren’t words she could put together to describe the love she felt for him in that moment. Everything, every moment and memory that lead them to this place was worth it for the reward of getting to call him her husband for the rest of her life. They spent what felt like hours but could only have been minutes kissing and laughing in that park, elated at the idea of spending their lives together. As they finally pulled away from each other Nate excitedly pulled her left hand forward, flashing it at their dog proudly, making her laugh once again. “Cox, she said yes! Mom and I are getting married.” The knock on the door shook her from her happiest memory, Gabe standing proudly in it’s frame offering her his arm. When she’d thought about who would walk her down the aisle that day, though they’d never fill the void left in her father’s absence, Gabe was the only choice. The older brother she’d never had but had found in him. “Ready to be Mrs. Mackinnon, kid?” The nerves still didn’t come, the calm and the peace remaining. She grabbed the bouquet and crossed the room to take his arm. “Never been more ready in my life.” (+ bonus:) Their bedroom was still save for her husband’s soft snores and the hum of the ceiling fan. The clock on the bedside table next to her that was illuminated by the soft glow coming from her reading lamp read 3:53 am, but she didn’t feel the sleep gripping her like she probably should. She took the quiet moment to glance at the man sleeping soundly beside her, the man she’d called her husband for the last two years but her best friend for far longer. He was the man of her dreams and though they’d faced challenges, she wouldn’t have wanted to face them with anyone else. She scanned quickly back through all the memories she had of their relationship and smiled when they brought back the feelings of intense love between them. And as she looked down at the tiny baby nestled softly in her arms, his eyes an identical blue to his father’s, she remembered the words he’d said the day he proposed. “I promise to fall asleep a little more in love with you today, tomorrow and all of our lives.”

[ppaperheartss]

Confessions Of A Trained Assassin

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Summary: In which a baking mishap leads to secrets being exposed in the early hours of the morning

Warnings: some swearing, a load of fluff

A/N: I tried to make the reader as gender neutral as possible to make this oneshot more inclusive :) if anyone notices any details that make this less gender neutral please let me know. Any feedback and comments are appreciated!

Being a trained spy and assassin, Bucky knows a lot of things that he shouldn’t.

He knows that whenever Sam is working out in the gym alone he’ll listen to the Dreamgirls soundtrack, and his rendition of “And I Am Telling You” isn’t half bad.

He knows Steve has to write his phone passcode on the inside of his wrist under his watch strap every morning because he always forgets it, being the old man that he is.

He knows Stark likes to watch Disney movies when he struggles to get to sleep.

He knows Natasha can’t tell her left from her right and always has to use her fingers to check.

And Y/N… well, he doesn’t know anything.

You weren’t a new addition to the team - you had been there longer than Parker had - but Bucky just got so tongue tied whenever he was around you that his mind went fuzzy.

He doesn’t have a crush on you, though, no matter how much Sam tries to get him to admit it. No, you just have this weird power over him. When you first arrived at the compound everyone was shocked to see the super soldier so bashful. His cheeks tinted red and his posture sunk as he shook your hand, and his sheepish smile matched your curious one. 

He couldn’t hold a conversation with you for longer than a minute before leaving. His palms get sweaty and he can embarrassingly hear all of the gears in his metal arm whirr whenever you’re around. Your presence makes him nervous (but in a good way), and he can’t seem to control himself. The best way he can find to cope with it all is just to get himself out of the situation as quickly as possible.

There was no way you intimidated the six-foot and pure muscle of a man, so did he just not like you? You talked to Natasha about it, and she just gave you a knowing smile and said he really didn’t not like you. Your mind melted that night trying to figure out her riddles.

“Earth to Bucky. Hello?” Bucky blinked back into reality as Sam waved a hand in front of his face. He blinked, his eyes adjusting to the dim lights of the restaurant Steve had taken the whole team as a celebratory meal for the last successful mission. You had been undercover in Japan and were the guest of honour, and Bucky (despite hating Thai food) couldn’t say no to a meal in your favourite restaurant. He wacks his hand away and sinks back in his chair, gazing around the table.

You were seated almost directly across from him, between Tony and Steve. Bucky smiled as he watched you laugh and smile with your teammates, running your fingers through your hair absentmindedly. He watched as the rings that adorned your fingers shimmered in the light, and your eyes had a similar twinkle in them. Your eyes latched onto his and you threw him a cheeky smile - nose scrunched and mouth open wide - and all Bucky could do was sink back into his chair further.

He had been a charmer back in the day, but now all of that confidence had disappeared and he could barely manage to maintain eye contact with anyone he found remotely attractive for more than five seconds. 

He missed the pout on your face as he looked away.

The door swinging open from the kitchen caught everyone’s attention and the table grew silent as the group anxiously waited for their food to arrive. A few waiters made their way over, calling out the meals they had and handing them over to their designated person. 

“Pad Thai?” A waiter called out, and you squealed excitedly as you raised your hand, signalling it was yours. The waiter moved over to you, holding the plate with a small dish towel.

“Be careful, it’s hot.” He warned, moving to put the plate down in front of you. But you took it from him with ease, thanking him with a cheerful smile. The waiter stares at you almost in shock, and Bucky can’t help but notice the steam rising off of the plate and the way your fingertips glow red. But you don’t flinch, barely even notice the way your fingertips shine at the onslaught of blisters ready to form.

Tony notices the peculiar interaction before touching the plate. He recoils, hissing loudly and dumping his fingers unceremoniously in his glass of water. 

“Christ Y/N, that’s fucking burning.” He exclaims, and you simply laugh in response.

“I didn’t even notice. Must be too excited to eat it.” You respond, and Tony laughs as he shakes his head.

-

The kitchen is quiet as Bucky stirs the mixture delicately with a spatula. He couldn’t pronounce what he was making - it was a Sokovian dish Wanda had talked about months ago. Steve had told him that it was nearing Pietro’s anniversary and he wanted to do something nice for her - she had been helpful with his recovery back into normal life.

He enjoyed times like this; alone with his thoughts. He hummed a song he remembered hearing as a kid back in Brooklyn. His mother loved music. Bucky had three jobs at the time to save enough money to buy her a record player, and she would let him pick what record he wanted to listen to as she made supper. He remembers teaching Becca how to dance to his favourite song by letting her stand on his feet and guiding her around the living room. 

Pouring the mixture onto a dish he puts it into the preheated oven and leans against the counter as he sets a timer. He doesn’t know how long he cleans up for before he hears soft footsteps padding into the kitchen. He recognises that it isn’t Steve (he knows what Steve’s walking sounds like), and when he turns round he sees you with a mishevield head of hair and a sleepy smile.

“Whatever you’re making smells amazing,” you say as you jump up on the countertop across from him, peeking into the oven. “What is it?”

“It’s for Wanda,” he says as he finishes drying off the last of the dishes and begins to put them into their cupboards. Anything to keep him distracted from how welcoming you look, sitting there in fuzzy socks and pyjamas. “I think it’s a cake.”

“You think it’s a cake?” You snort, and he manages a laugh.

“It’s Sokovian, so your guess is as good as mine.” he says, turning round to face you. “Why are you up so late?” He asks, wringing the slightly damp dish towel in his hands.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You say mischievously, but he notices the bags under your eyes. You sigh at his silence and shake your head. “That mission was rough. My mind is running a mile a minute.”

He frowns sympathetically at you. “What did you do out there? That mission was long - what was it, two weeks?”

“A month,” you say, and his eyebrows raise in surprise. “It was pretty grim, seen some things I wish I never had.”

He notices how standoff-ish you’re being with your answers, and decides not to push it any further. 

You notice his understanding of your emotions, and are glad he doesn’t ask any more questions.

“Dinner was fun, wasn’t it?” He asks, and you quirk a brow.

“I thought Thai food wasn’t your thing.” You respond, and he manages a laugh.

“It’s not.” He answers truthfully, and you just laugh at him. “But it was your night, and I wanted to be there to celebrate with you.”

You smile at him, and he smiles back genuinely. His gaze drops quickly when he feels his cheeks begin to burn, and you open your mouth before you can stop yourself.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Why is this the longest conversation we’ve ever had?” You ask, and he sighs as he drops his head.

“I don’t-” He gets cut off by the beeping of the timer, and jumps to open the oven quickly. He grabs the tray with his metal arm - forgetting about the new heat sensors Stark had put in each of the fingers - and he yells out at the searing pain that quickly travels up his arm. 

“Bucky!” You yell, jumping off of the counter and quickly catching the dish before it smashes on the ground.

“Wait, Y/N no-” Bucky watches - more in astonishment than awe - as you put the dish on the counter with ease and hold his hand, looking for any signs of damage. 

“Can you move your fingers?” You ask, and when he doesn’t respond you look up to see him staring right back at you. “What is it?”

“How did you do that?” He asks, standing up straight with you.

“Do what?” You question, happily oblivious to how strange your actions were.

“You just held a searing hot glass bowl without even flinching. You did the same at the restaurant with the plate.” Your face grows hot at the realisation that he caught onto these little things, and you laugh awkwardly as you drop his hand.

“It’s uh- it’s embarrassing.” You admit, and Bucky tilts his head like a confused puppy.

“Y/N,” he says, and you sigh.

“When I was younger… I was never allowed to eat anything without my parent’s permission. So one night I decided to rebel and eat a whole carton of ice cream - without a spoon. I’ve lost all feeling in my finger tips because of it.” Bucky stares at you for what feels like eternity, before he bursts out laughing.

“Oh my God,” he manages through laughter and you shove his shoulder.

“It’s not funny!” You defend yourself, but the sight of tears of mirth rolling from his eyes has your doubled-over alongside him.

“Christ, Y/N,” he breathes out, wiping his face. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

You shrug with a cheeky smile on your face. “Now you know something about me that no one else does, and I’ll kill you if you ever tell anyone.” You threaten.

He grins, holding his hands up in defence. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

You smile, nudging his shoulder as you turn to make sure the dish didn’t get ruined. He watches you with a happy smile on his face. A sudden surge of confidence takes over him, and he inhales deeply.

“If you love ice cream so much, let me take you out to this ice cream parlour I know sometime.”

You turn back to him, and he grows bashful under your gaze. But you smile, reach out for his hand and give it a squeeze. “I’d love that.”

You both look at each other for a painfully long moment, and with the last ounce of confidence in his body Bucky leans down to capture your lips in his.

There is something Bucky knows about you that no one else does - what it feels like to kiss you in the early hours of the morning.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 23

Read on AO3. Part 22 here. Part 24 here.

Summary: Apparently, you can't get yourself to enjoy a dinner party, even if you're the guest of honor.

Words: 4700

Warnings: egregious dinner party antics, Hux is a bitch, Handmaid AU

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: I've never really written anything like this before. I'm not really sure what I'm doing. This chapter was like PULLING fucking TEETH. Would really love feedback/input/criticism.

Regardless, I hope y'all enjoyed. I am SO HAPPY the Daddy kink was well-received--we're all going to hell, yay!

I always want to stress how grateful I am that I receive the kind of interaction that I do. I feel so lucky and blessed to have folks like y'all. Thank you so much, I love all of you very much. <3 

The longer you sat, the deeper the burn at your backside became. The aloe that Ren had so generously applied had long worn off, at this point, but the real issue was the swelling, the heat, like a bubbling sunburn that had managed to sear itself across your entire ass. How generous of him, too, to supply you with this right before an event that required sitting.

It was only minutes, now, until the guests would arrive, and Emma and Rose were twittering in the kitchen, preparing the finishing touches on the meals. You, Johana, and Kylo Ren sat in the ornate dining room, with its tiered crystal chandelier and wall-to-wall windows that opened out toward the garden. At the long, mahogany dining table, the married couple were appointed at the heads, with you at the center, like an entertainment piece. The table had already been prepared with nine settings. The silence was so thick you could hear your blood in your toes.

Johana sighed. “Only a few people agreed to come, after all, Sir. Very short notice.”

“Mm.” Ren provided no evidence of interest or investment in what she had said.

“You know, Sir,” she said, “I’m doing this for you. For us.”

“How thoughtful of you.” 

“It is, isn’t it?” She sat back in her chair, arms crossed. “If only you could afford me the same grace.” Her eyes laid on you. “Not that it’ll be a problem too much longer, I’m sure.”

Swallowing, you stared at your hands. Ren hadn’t offered you a glance since he’d sat--hadn’t even offered a word when he’d dropped off your clothing at your door. Johana kept sticking you and her husband with sharp, suspicious glares, as if she could smell the sex on you, could see the leather marks on your thighs, could hear the words lingering on your tongue: yes, Daddy.

You pinched your legs together, fighting a shiver, fighting disgust with yourself. Back in reality, your willingness to break for him brought a nauseating chill to your stomach. After all, here you were, ready to perform for his friends, the very men who had shackled you to a dress and womb-service or death. Here you were, obedient and eager, with all of the humanity and agency of a pet, but with a hidden array of tricks that consisted of beg and swallow.

“Dolpheld Mitaka and his Wife have arrived, Ms. Johana.” Emma’s voice snapped you to attention, and you shifted, hoping to ease some of the pain. 

Following Emma’s introduction, a young, boyish man entered, his Wife--a small, timid-looking thing--on his heels. He nodded to Ren, glimpsing you for a brief second before avoiding your gaze, cheeks tinged pink.

Dolpheld focused on Ren, he and his Wife sitting across from you, near Johana. “Uh, sir, your…” 

“Per request of Snoke,” he replied. “I wouldn’t choose to share my table with a Handmaid.”  

Johana snorted, and Ren’s gaze daggered her. She cleared her throat. “Ofkylo plans on staying out of the way, doesn’t she?”

You gazed at your fists as they tensed in your lap--but you nodded. The name Dolpheld was familiar--he’d been the Commander of one of the Handmaids at the Resistance base. A cold rush coated the inside of your chest. You hoped she’d gotten away. Looking at him, though, he seemed harmless, almost pathetic. Hadn’t Ren said a few old men? As for Dolpheld’s Wife--she appeared intent on ignoring your existence entirely, which was fine by you, anyway.

Emma darted in again. “Armitage Hux and his Wife, ma’am.”

Armitage. From behind Emma emerged a stiff, reedy man with coiffed copper hair and an expression that managed to communicate both complete disdain for every living creature and unbearable smugness. His Wife was boxy and brown-haired, the type of person of which nothing notable could be said other than her utter lack of notability. It seemed strange to see these two wallpaper women at the same table as Johana--in role, like them, but in personhood, incongruous. 

“Ren,” said Armitage, the name rolling off of his tongue with hidden mirth. “Mitaka.”

“Hux.” Dolpheld nodded, looking at the table. His Wife appeared similarly occupied. 

Armitage and his Wife sat across from you, too, with Armitage taking a seat next to Ren. You looked between them, wondering if they knew of each other’s dalliances, or if the fact that Commanders brazenly fucked their Handmaids was an accepted fact of Gilead. Though you knew Ofarmitage didn’t just consider her relationship fucking. Horrifically, you felt the same way about yours.

“Imagine my surprise when we were offered a dinner invitation to your home,” Armitage said. “I can’t remember the last time we dined together, Ren.”

“Unsurprising,” replied Ren. “Your memory is frequently faulty.”

“At least my judgement remains intact.” He smirked. “Or did I mishear the reason for the invitation?”

“No, you didn’t, Commander Hux,” said Johana, folding a napkin over her lap. The other Wives looked at her with widened eyes. “We are here to discuss a possible resolution. Once--”

“Ms. Johana!” Emma squawked, for some reason breathless. “Commander Snoke--”

Before Emma could finish, an older man pushed through the threshold, accompanied by a young, blank-faced woman. His head was misshapen, craggy--a scar of war, you presumed, that had grown now into his flesh. One of his eyes bulged precipitously above his cheekbone, the other dug into his skull, the skin of his cheeks stretched like wet linen over his face. He wore a deep yellow suit jacket, threads interlaced with thin strands of red and gold. 

The very second he entered, Ren stood, eyes aimed at the floor, and you blinked, tensing your jaw to keep it from dropping. Armitage followed, and then Dolpheld, their Wives in their shadows as the man meandered his way to the side of the table that you sat on, his Wife next to you. He remained standing, surveying the table--against your better judgement, you met his gaze. A tiny smirk formed on his lips. 

“Good evening, everyone.”

His voice froze your blood. This was the same man from the recording. The man who had spoken to Ben Solo. That man, this man--they were all--

“Commander Snoke,” said Armitage and Ren, in unison. Dolpheld cleared his throat.

“Let’s be seated, shall we?” 

Snoke lowered himself to the table, and the other men mimicked him. The air had thickened to a degree that you found your own chest tightening for the lack of oxygen. Next to you, his Wife was robotic in her focus, her body iron and unmoving. You marveled at her beauty--other than Johana, she was one of the only genuinely pretty Wives you’d seen. Examining her closer, she wasn’t just young, either. She was young. Perhaps not much older than eighteen. The thought made you shudder.

The Marthas swished into the room, doling out salad onto the tiny plates at everyone’s place settings. As they served, Johana straightened, meeting Ren’s gaze from across the table. He was silent.

“Commander Snoke,” she said. “As you know--”

“Kylo Ren,” said Snoke, ignoring Johana completely. She blanched. “Your initiative on the western front brought us another victory. A very cunning move you made, heading off their supply route. Their soldiers were going to starve before they submitted to Gilead forces.” A low, dark chuckle left him. “An excellent maneuver that Armitage could learn from.”

Ren lowered his head, brow cocked. Armitage’s eyes narrowed, and he cut into his salad.

“Speaking of learning,” the redhead said, “Mitaka, I recently learned your Handmaid went missing.”

Dolpheld seemed focused on avoiding any involvement in this conversation. “Uh, yes. Yes, we did… experience that.”

“Strange.” Armitage’s attention flicked from you to your Commander. “Ren, aren’t we here for a similar issue? Your Handmaid going missing?”

Anxiety clogged your throat. You studied your salad as if it had become the most interesting collection of green leaves and croutons you’d ever seen. 

“Well,” said Johana, “not exactly--”

Armitage waved her off. “Right, yes, his suspension, isn’t it? For botching some ability to prevent Resistance interference?” His scrutiny returned to you. “Very foolish of you, Ren. For all we know, she could be with the Resistance now.”

“There was no evidence of any Resistance involvement,” Johana said. “As far as we know, it was a rogue Guardian.” She sliced apart a leaf of lettuce. “Right, Commander?”

Ren’s brow twitched. “Yes.”

“Rogue Guardian,” Armitage mused. “Interesting. Mitaka, didn’t your Handmaid disappear in much the same way? Middle of the day? During daylight? Guardian interference?”

Dolpheld glanced between Ren and Armitage, shrugging. “I suppose so, but the investigation was inconclusive, so--”

“That’s right!” The grin on Armitage’s face could split steel. “The investigation was inconclusive. If only we could’ve gotten more information to help guide us.” He turned to Ren. “Maybe we could talk to that Guardian your Handmaid was found with.”

An image in your mind: pop. Ren’s face was blanker than polished stone.

“Ah, that’s right.” He snapped, feigning a realization. “We can’t. You killed him. Shame, that.” Sighing, he popped a piece of lettuce into his mouth. “Is that type of behavior really something we should be lifting a suspension for?”

“There was good reason my husband acted as he did,” Johana said. “The Guardian had a gun with him.” She stared directly at you. “Isn’t that right?”

Every pair of eyes at the table aimed at you, like you’d tripped a sensor, set off an alarm--or maybe that was the alarm inside of your brain, wailing in panic. It wasn’t like you had to lie, but there was something about being complicit in this game that made your palms sweat.

“That’s… right,” you said. “He. He did have a gun.”

Johana gestured toward you. “The situation was dangerous.”

Armitage chuckled. “Oh, please, every smuggler carries a weapon. What we want to know is if he was part of a larger organization.” His eyes, a roaring seafoam green, bored into you. “There’s a rumor the Angel and Wife he was working for are part of the Resistance.”

The pressure in your throat choked your words. You sought help from Ren, but his stare was directed at Johana--you followed it, meeting her gaze.

“Go on,” she said. “Tell them how you ran.”

Swallowing, you fiddled with your fingers. “I ran of my own volition,” you said. “I asked a Guardian, he said he’d help. That’s it.” You shook your head. “I didn’t meet anyone from the Resistance.”

Johana shrugged, returning to her food. “That’s it, then.”

Armitage took a bite, chewing. After a moment, he frowned. “A Guardian agreed to help you?” he asked. “In exchange for what?”

“You know Handmaids.” Johana’s expression stilled your blood. “They only have a few valuable things to offer.”

Heat rushed you, and you dropped your head, examining your folded hands in your lap. For once, you wished you were wearing your wings so you’d have a better chance to obscure your reddening face. Even if you had been in a position to disagree, you knew that Johana was trying to protect you--if only secondarily to her own interests.

Armitage motioned to you. “Commander Snoke,” he implored, “do you see what we’re keeping in our homes? A Handmaid who offers up her body in exchange to escape Gilead? This is one for the Colonies, at least.”

Your heart stalled, your jaw tightened.

“I don’t think that would be necessary,” Johana replied.

“It very well may be.” He shrugged. “If she allows just anyone to utilize what God has provided for a specific purpose--”

“That’s exactly it, she could be pregnant,” Johana said, “and--”

“It was a momentary lapse in judgement.” Ren finally met your eyes. “Her re-education is progressing smoothly.”

Snoke hummed in thought, glancing between you and your Commander, his gaze peeling you apart--then leaned toward Ren, murmuring something, and Armitage sneered as the two men entered a private conversation. Silence settled over the table; you noticed not a single Wife had taken a bite of her food, other than Johana. Not that you were particularly interested in eating, either. Something about the atmosphere, maybe. Or all the guests who had the power to end your life.

Soon, the Marthas were ushering in the main course: some sort of pork tenderloin, you gathered, with what looked to be a cranberry jam and a smattering of watercress on the side. You sighed. Gilead had done nothing to endear you to vegetables, no matter how frequently you were eating them. 

Across the table, Ren and Snoke were still muttering to each other. Your Commander’s demeanor seemed changed in front of this older man, like a living echo of the person you’d heard on the recording--Ben Solo. Ren had said he was dead, but watching him now, with the slight hunch to his shoulders, the flickering eye contact, the unguarded ache in his pupils, you wondered what dead truly meant in this world. Gilead had blurred the lines of existence to meaningless muddle. After all, you might call yourself dead, too. 

You wondered who Ben Solo might have been. You wondered if who you had been might have liked him. 

“You know, Johana,” said Armitage, eyeing Ren and Snoke, “it’s really too bad that you don’t have gatherings like this more often.” He signaled the rest of the table. “Don’t you all agree?”

The Wives, ever silent, nodded. Dolpheld appeared noncommittal, in agreement only out of what seemed to be obligation. How had someone so doughy and tender earned the rank of Commander?

“Well…” She offered a half-smile. “Never really had an occasion for one as of recent, I supposed.”

“But you and Canady had them all the time, didn’t you?” 

Canady. You remembered that name. Ren had used it during the hushed conversation he and Johana had shared in the hallway. That must have been her husband--the one who had died during the revolution. 

Johana’s back stiffened, adjusting her grip on her fork as she supplied Armitage with a tight grin. “We did,” she said. “Often.”

“I thought so. I remember those parties. Don’t you, Mitaka?”

“I, uh, I guess so.”

“They were lovely,” said Mitaka’s Wife. 

“Oh,” Johana mumbled, “thank you. Yes. We did enjoy them. Those were the days. We were all so young. Parties then were… well… now we have gatherings with multiple courses. All of that.” She paused, swallowing. For a moment, her gaze met yours, then returned to her plate. “God has truly blessed us. We couldn’t ask for more.” 

“Right,” said Armitage. “Must be difficult, though, having to deal with Ren’s behavior.”

At the head of the table, Kylo Ren acted as if Armitage had spent the entire dinner with his mouth sewn shut. He was intent, listening to whatever was being said by Snoke.

“Not that it’s bizarre, considering what he’s done in the past. The equipment ruined, the meetings thrown off-kilter. You remember, don’t you, Mitaka?”

“Oh, I don’t know…”

“I remember,” said Mitaka’s Wife.

Mitaka groaned. “Honey, please--”

“I remember, too,” Armitage’s Wife added.

“Brilliant.” Armitage took a bite of his food, chewing triumphantly. “Can’t imagine what it’s like being married to him. A true, enduring woman, you are.”

Johana’s face paled. She glanced across the table to Ren, who was still engrossed in Snoke’s quiet speech. Her lip trembled, and she shrugged, pushing a piece of pork in her mouth. You watched Armitage, who, despite having picked off half of his plate, was appearing more voracious by the second. 

“Yes,” she said, “well--”

“And Canady was a good man,” Armitage continued. “When was he killed? Three? Four years ago? How long have you been married to Ren?”

Perhaps to anyone who didn’t know her, Johana appeared the picture of composure. But you could see the twitch at her jaw, the frustrated flutter of her nostrils, the whitening of her tiny knuckles. She took another slice of pork, gnashing it with her back molars. 

“Three years this December.”

Armitage nodded. “Of course. That was such a brilliant sacrifice Canady made, really--Ren was right to order it.”

Johana stabbed into her watercress, silent.

“Don’t you think it was noble that Canady--”

“I think Ms. Johana is tired of talking about her deceased husband.” 

The words shocked you as they entered the air. What shocked you more was that they had left your mouth. The rest of the table appeared equally flabbergasted, the scraping of forks and knives halting, the dining room flooded with flummoxed silence. The only people who hadn’t appeared to notice were Snoke and Ren--but for Ren’s part, he’d ceased speaking entirely. You couldn’t hear Snoke’s words over the ringing of your own ears, the deafening thump of your heartbeat at your temples. Johana gazed at you, lips parted, as if she was seeing you for the very first time.

“Is this how you allow your Handmaids to speak to you?” Armitage’s brow was cocked, but he turned to Dolpheld, sparking a new topic. 

You met Johana’s eyes again. Her chest fell in a slow breath, and she broke the stare, turning to her food. Exhaling, you shook out the tremble in your hands, shifting to relieve some of the ache that had built at your backside. As the din in your head dimmed, you glanced at your Commander, wondering what had him so captivated.

“While we’re on the topic, we did find the body on the side of the road, as you described. One bullet hole to the skull.” Snoke dragged his knife through the soft meat on his plate. 

“Yes.” Ren’s gaze was vacant. “Efficient.”

“Well, you always are,” Snoke replied. “And you had an excellent idea to string it up near the border. After even a couple of days, it looks ghoulish.”

Your stomach churned. For some reason, you’d hoped the Resistance had managed to get Poe’s body, bury him properly. The thought of him hanging somewhere along the borders of Gilead, his pretty face pecked apart by birds--if you had been hungry before, you certainly weren’t, now. The fact that it had been your Commander’s idea somehow made it worse.

“It lured out a pocket of Resistance members at the border trying to reclaim the body,” Ren replied. “We killed them all.”

The more words you caught, the sicker you became. You wanted to be thankful that it meant that Finn and Rey were still alive--but the thought of any deliberate death at Ren’s hands was emptying you of gratitude.

“Really?” Snoke said. “You plan to display them, too, I hope.”

“It’s already been completed.” 

At some point, sweat had drenched your back. You desperately needed Ren to stop talking--he spoke as if they’d hung draperies, not bodies. It didn’t seem possible that this was the same man who’d coddled you to his chest, who’d pressed his lips to your forehead, who’d carried you like spun glass to your bedroom. This man, the one who’d rended your ribcage open with a desire to be known, be seen, the one who had, just hours ago, fucked you until you sobbed and smothered your ass in welts--this was the very same man openly admitting to slaughtering and hanging bodies of other humans for the benefit of your own continued enslavement.

You wanted to explode out of your skin. Perhaps what was worse was that, in reality, it did seem possible, and you’d known it was possible--the memory of Poe’s hot blood on your face cemented that. You’d just willed yourself to forget, allowed yourself to drown in the pointless, foolish desire to be your Commander’s equal. To be, in his eyes, alive. As if you could redeem the devil. As if the devil could redeem you.

“You’re managing to accomplish quite a bit despite your suspension,” said Snoke. “I suppose that’s the benefit of managing an independent militia.”

“I hope to prove to you and the Council that my limited access to the main command is unwarranted.”

“Hm.” Snoke sat, considering Ren. “Yet you didn’t seem interested in proving that when you left your post.”

Ren’s jaw stiffened. At the other side of the table, Armitage leaned forward, ear toward Snoke.

“You made an idiotic, irresponsible decision and abandoned your command during a critical period.” Snoke’s voice was low, harsh. “A decision only a child would make.”

Despite this, Kylo Ren said nothing. He stared into his plate.

“Your accomplishments with the Resistance at the border are meaningless--not when we have interference under our own noses of which you inexplicably destroyed our ability to obtain any further knowledge on.” Snoke released an empty laugh. “The more responsibility I award you, the more reckless you become.”

“Commander Snoke, my performance has been exemplary these past three--”

“And for what, Ren?” Snoke’s hand was tight around his knife. “You abdicated your post, left our armies without direction, killed a possible Resistance member, incapacitated our intelligence--for what?” 

Ren’s mouth opened--but Armitage spoke.

“Commander Snoke, I actually heard something interesting.” To your horror, he was staring at you. “There was some report... of an inappropriate relationship between Ren and his Handmaid.”

Your heart disintegrated. Thousands of thoughts stormed your mind at once, chasing breath from your lungs, petrifying your muscles, inspiring sweat at your hairline--what did he know, when did he learn, how long had he sat on this, and who told him--yet through the flurry, there was only one identifiable constant, a bell in your brain. 

Ofarmitage.

“Fascinating.” In a slow, controlled revolution, Snoke turned, leaning past his Wife, his stare spearing you. “Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve heard of such a rumor.” His beady eyes flitted over you. “But for this Handmaid?” He scoffed. “Really.”

“Commander Snoke, you should remember that previous Handmaids in this home were dispatched due to no interference on my husband’s part,” Johana interjected quickly. “It was at my behest.”

Snoke continued to act as if Johana were a tiny blue fly on the wall. “So is this why you did it, Ren?” he said, leveling you with the garrote of his gaze. “All of that for… this?” 

You bit your lip. He had some nerve to allow his voice to drip with that level of disgust. Beside him, Ren was silent, avoiding your eyes. 

“What is it?” Snoke said. “What’s special about her?”

The question made your heart ache with an unarticulated anguish. It wasn’t just about you. It was the sameness you’d found in each other’s eyes, the admiration for the possibility in the stars, the gnawing need to know that wrenched you both from your own pedestals of reason. You’d stirred his relics of doubt, he’d awakened your latent compassion. It wasn’t just you--it was the both of you, fettered to Gilead and each other by the very same chains.  

“Let’s hear from her, then.” Snoke eased forward in his chair, a smug grin tearing the fabric of his face. His knife was still gripped in his palm, resting on his plate. “Why do you think Ren sacrificed all of that just for you, hm?”

You sat, glancing over the table, flesh crawling as every sticky gaze studied you. It was as if black coffee had spilled over your tongue, drying it, the bitterness biting at you from the back of your throat. Gathering courage--or something like it--from the depths of your diaphragm, you leaned over the table, returned Snoke’s stare.

“What does it matter why he sacrificed?” you asked. “Doesn’t my uterus hold enough value to justify it?”  Perhaps that hadn’t been courage. Perhaps it’d been stupidity. 

But what crossed over Snoke’s face wasn’t rage. It was curiosity. “It matters because his motivation for sacrifice determines where his loyalty lies.” His thin lips curled in a grin. “With Gilead? Or with you?”

“So a person can’t sacrifice for a Handmaid without betraying Gilead?”

“No.”

“Then why have Handmaids at all? How else are you populating your country?” Your voice was growing louder than you intended. “If the Commander sacrifices for me, it must be for the value that was given to me by you.”

Ren’s eyes, dark with something unknowable, glimpsed you for a blink. The table was silent. You swallowed. 

“Fascinating,” said Snoke. The knife trembled in his hand, rapping the plate. “Your proposition is that I gave you this value? That it was not ordained by God?”

You nodded. “Why would God give me a mind and tell me not to use it? Why would he give me a body that needed to be controlled?”

“Your error is assuming God gives reasons for anything.” Snoke’s knife rose from the plate, stuck in his quaking fist. 

“Then,” you replied, neck stiff, “it seems that he gives just as many and as valid reasons as you.”

Snoke slammed the knife into the table, a crooked smile on his pale face, Wives recoiling in squeals, except for his own, who remained perfectly porcelain next to you. Johana’s arms snapped to her sides--both you and her sought out Ren, who sat. And did nothing. Your hands began to quiver. What had happened to you will be safe?

“Precocious little thing you have here, isn’t she, Ren?” Snoke’s arm shot out, his gnarled hand snatching your chin. “What exactly have you been teaching her during these re-education sessions?” With surprising strength, he yanked you forward onto the table. The texture of his skin was like papyrus. “Can you tell me what you’ve learned?”

You leered at Ren, internally begging him to see you. His eyes were distant, focused on the wall. “Obedience,” you said. “Honesty.”

“Seems you could still use a bit of humility.” He turned back to Ren. “What do you think, my boy? Christine is new to the home, but we could always use a Handmaid.” The bones in his fingers crushed your chin. “Maybe I could take her off of your hands for a month.”

Ren’s eye twitched. 

“Commander Snoke, please excuse me.” Johana’s voice was followed by the release of his grasp as she wrenched his arm down, pulling you out of your chair. “I must admit that I provided her with a little medication before dinner for nausea. I think it must be getting to her.”

“Nausea medication.” Snoke scanned you like you were meat. “For what?”

“I told you that she might be pregnant, sir.” She was still ushering you out of the room, her little fingers manacles around your wrist. “I’m going to get her to bed. Please, please excuse her behavior. She’s never like this.”

“Never,” Ren said, finally exercising his mouth for something other than looking fuckable. He met your eyes, and you glared at him, internally cursing him, cursing yourself for trusting him.

Johana rushed you through the darkened halls, her hands urging you forward, mumbling under her breath as she whisked you up the stairs and into your bedroom. When you crossed the threshold, she nearly shoved you onto your bed, gasping, sweat decorating her forehead. Baby hairs had sprung free from her braids, curling at her nape, at her temples. She examined you, shaking her head.

“Are you an idiot?” she said. “Do you have a deathwish?”

You shook your head. “No, Ms. Johana--”

“Oh, don’t Ms. Johana me,” she said, swatting at you from a distance. “You know exactly what you were doing down there. Now we’re lucky if the Commander ever gets his suspension lifted. He’s supposed to be re-educating you.”

“Well…” You shifted, fighting the urge to seethe at the scrape of the mattress on your ass. “He is…”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure.” Sighing, she wiped her palms on her dress, smoothing over the wild bits of her hair. She shook her head. “Thank you, by the way. For what you did.”

“Oh.” Blood rushed your cheeks. “Well, Armitage seems like a jackass.”

“Oh, Lord,” she said, “you don’t even know the half of it. He and the Commander used to...” She stopped herself, cast her eyes over you, reminding herself of your role, and cleared her throat. “Look. Don’t say anything else. Don’t do anything else. Just stay up here for the rest of the night. I’ll handle this.” She turned, shutting the door behind her--but before it closed, she added, “Goodnight.”

You laid back on your bed, deflated. “Goodnight, Johana.”

[ukulelekatie]

The Sappy CarmillaCon Appreciation Post You’ve All Been Waiting For

It’s been a week since CarmillaCon, so now that I’ve had some time to relfect, it’s time to share my recap of the convention. Buckle up, creampuffs—this is gonna get long and emotional. 

Wow, where do I even begin with this? Perhaps at the beginning would be ideal. I remember, over a year ago, when CarmillaCon was just a hypothetical. A simple “We need a Carmilla con.” Watching it unfold over time was such a journey, and it’s incredible to look back on that moment and know how things turned out. 

Last weekend was a weekend of firsts for me. As a convention newbie, all my previous knowledge of how conventions worked was all learned through secondhand accounts of other cons. It was also my first time planning an entire trip and traveling by myself. And let me tell you, I was nervous. But my trip to Toronto, especially CarmillaCon, turned out to be such an overwhelmingly positive experience. And from the people I’ve spoken to, that sounds like a common theme. Everyone involved in the planning process should be very proud of their achievements.

And now is the part where I give some shoutouts to the people who made CarmillaCon the spectacular time it was.

Natasha Negovanlis. I don’t know anyone who puts as much love and care into getting to know their fans as much as Natasha does. And she remembers so many details about each of us! I’m always impressed by that. She truly makes everyone feel special and loved, whether she’s meeting you for the millionth time or the first.

Elise Bauman. I’ve heard dozens of people talk about how easy it is to interact with Elise, but getting to experience it for myself was an entirely different level. Her meet & greet felt like chatting with a long-time friend. She’s so genuine, quirky, and downright hilarious.

Kaitlyn Alexander was just as excited to meet their fans as we were to meet them, and that is so beautiful. I also really admire them for working through social anxiety and talking openly about it, because it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone in feeling anxious. They deserve all the good things.

Annie Briggs is absolutely SAVAGE. She goes from talking profoundly and professionally to dropping the most absurd and crass quips. Quite literally the embodiment of the “hi sir nice to meet you”/“your daughter calls me daddy too” meme.

Nicole Stamp is an incredibly sweet person, and I admire her so much for her friendliness and ability to make everyone around her feel appreciated. We ran into her in passing a few times, and even when she was in a hurry to get somewhere, she still stopped and said hi.

Matt O’Connor is a real sweetheart, and during my autograph we talked about his trip to Boston last year. I love being able to connect with the actors over personal details like that! Also, his Carmilla impression in the cast panel was hysterical!

Sharon Belle’s ability to just be goofy is so precious! I would totally watch a spin-off of Danny solving petty crimes and returning lost library books. 

Aaron Chartrand seems so nice and thoughtful, and an all around cool guy. I wish I had interacted with him more during the con!

The Carmilla Creators. Jordan, Ellen, Steph, and Melanie (and Spencer, in spirit) are legends, y’all. Everything they said in the Creators Panel was super empowering, and I left feeling inspired to create and tell my original stories to the world.  And of course, getting to chat about fandom and fanfiction with Steph and Ellen at the Fanfic Meetup was wonderful! The thing that makes Carmilla so unique is that its creators are privy to the world of fandom, having participated in it themselves, which allows them to really know their audience and tell us the stories we want and need.

The Moderators: Dana, Belinda, and Angie made the panels so entertaining and so unique! They are an integral part of this fandom, and I loved getting to witness their shenanigans in person.

The CarmillaCon Staff and Volunteers were just lovely! I applaud them for how smoothly everything ran, and for how much thought the organizers put into the logistics. I swear they thought of everything! Writing down your names on sticky notes before autographs so the guests can spell your name correctly. Ensuring that the convention was accessible. Making sure none of the panels coflicted with autos, photos, and meet & greets. Placing the vendor tables right outside the panel room to get us as much exposure as possible. It’s one thing to listen to feedback from your own convention’s attendees after the matter, but it’s another to listen to the greater fandom community’s experiences with other cons and be proactive. Any time I had a question or issue leading up to and during the con, I was assisted quickly and compassionately. Everyone was also extremely generous! Several staff members gave out extra autographs and photos to attendees throughout the event, which I loved.

The Vendors—I greatly enjoyed spending time with them! This was my first ever convention both as a fan AND as an artist, so I really appreciated learning from them and being able to support each other. I’d also like to give a shoutout to @learntodefygravity for becoming my assistant and running my table when I was participating in other parts of the con.

Everyone who stopped by my table! Whether you were there to get something or just to chat, you really made my weekend. I’m still so full of feels from all the sweet things everyone said about me and my art last week. Sometimes it’s difficult to take myself seriously—I often feel like I’m not a “real” artist because I draw primarily fanart, and for such a tiny community of people at that. But my CarmillaCon experience proved to me that there is an audience for my art, and I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting me over the past 4+ years. And yes, there will be more art in the future! I’m working on setting up an Etsy store as well as researching how to print my own lenticular bookmarks since the ones I brought were so popular! I’ll keep you all updated.

All the friends I spent time with. Some of you I’ve spoken to online every day for the past year. Others, I’ve interacted with occasionally on twitter or discord. A few of you I had never spoken to directly until the con. No matter what category you fell under, it was a pleasure to get to spend time with you, and I miss you all so much. Why do you have to live so far away from me? Why isn’t teleporting a thing yet?! (What I wouldn’t give for another minty group hug right about now.)

And lastly, thank you to everyone. Despite how much I fangirl about it online, I’m not one to talk openly about Carmilla and how much it means to me outside of the internet. I’m afraid of being judged for loving it too much. But this past weekend I got to meet several hundred people who are just as passionate as I am about the little webseries that could, and I’m so grateful for that opportunity. I’m not alone, and I never was. This fandom has helped me step out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I may be outgoing and outspoken online, but take me our from behind a screen and I’m very shy and self conscious. Just two years ago, taking public transportation alone in my own city seemed scary to me, but last week I had the courage to travel on my own and experience new things. I thought I would be overwhelmed and anxious all through CarmillaCon, but the second I found my people, I felt comforted and energized. I’ve grown so much over the years, and I owe a lot of that progress to the fandom and the encouragement I’ve received. You’ve all been by my side and helped me grow up and grow into myself. Here’s to Carmilla, and here’s to the creampuffs!

[hobiwonder]

Fifty Shades of Jimin | (m)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader 

Genre: Smut, some plot if you squint??. Noona!reader. Sub!Jimin

Warnings: Dry sex, dry humping. Dirty talk. Just some good old foreplay. Noona kink. 

Words: 6.5k

Summary: Remember when jimin once said he couldn't rec the books he read because they were a little... yeah. 

A/N: this is also from my old blog but i deleted it from there too bc i hated it jkbdeifuwbfl. one of the first smuts I ever wrote and im so sorry for posting so much jimin lately lmao. but like he’s so easy for me to write. I edited this a little bit to make it less horrendous since I wrote it over a year and half ago oops. hope you guys enjoy. feedback appreciated my loves.

Today you decided to finally go to the dorms to teach English to V, Jimin and Jungkook as you had all planned. But seeing as the boys were always so busy, your plans kept getting interrupted and they had to leave for their Promo in Japan for their Japanese album and MV of Blood, Sweat and Tears. You saw them at least once a month in the past 6 or so months since your aunt was the senior stylist for BigHit and you liked to tag along to her work. Nonetheless, you and the younger ones, despite you being 2 years older than Jimin, had still decided to spend some time together outside of work related events to have a fun session of English. You had become quite close with the BigHit family over these months and you loved seeing the boys. It all started when your aunt decided to take you to work with her to the dress rehearsals for MAMA in 2016.

You having just returned from overseas after completing your degree, knew minimal details about the entertainment and idol culture in Korea. Having grown up surrounded by Kanye West and Britany Spears, you always thought that the Korean pop scene was way too manufactured and lacked authenticity. You didn’t quite understand how hard could it be being an idol. You just had to look good, sound moderately respectable and dye your hair every other month, right? Didn’t sound too challenging, given that you have those idol looks. It always seemed to come down to looks it seemed. Thus, you never paid much attention to your Aunt’s job or recognized your mother’s efforts to send you back to Korea to maybe tie the knot with a rich idol – Typical mother wanting to set you up for life.

However, when you did decide to finally go abroad and take a break from your normal life, your aunt had convinced you somehow to make a trip to Korea. After being in the country for just 2 weeks, you had quickly found out how busy she was with continuous shopping trips to plan outfits for the idol group she worked with, in advance. It was then that you had found out that she worked for BigHit and was a senior stylist and makeup artist for the famous boy group, BTS. You had heard a fair bit about them from your Korean friends and even some American friends who raved about their looks and voices, but mostly looks, which further pulled you away from having any genuine interest. Though, being too focused on your studies and just the normal party scene, you didn’t deem it too important to pay attention or inquire from your aunt if she knew, let alone worked for the famous boys that everyone seemed to swoon over. After not being able to spend a decent day together even when living with her for a good 2 weeks, it was then that your aunt decided to take you to work with her so you can meet the famous Bulletproof boys that your aunt also seemed to fangirl over.

When you had arrived at the BigHit building, you were instantly met by curious, yet warm stares. No doubt wondering who the foreigner was. Your aunt was quick to introduce you to everyone and soon enough, everyone on the team had welcomed you with open arms, taking extra care of you as a guest of your aunt. Every room had been bustling with people running around, calling out each other’s names to make sure each one had done their part and were ready for fittings. The boys had arrived shortly after, greeting everyone with bows and smiles. The first thing that you noticed was how beautiful they all were. Of course, you were expecting them to be quite eye catching but never did you think they would be this handsome. The first one to notice a new face was V, whose real name you later learned to be Taehyung. He had come up to you and smiled his charismatic boxy smile and waved while greeting you in Korean, which you returned. His smile was seriously contagious. After that, you greeted the rest of the boys, each one of them making your jaw almost drop at how their skin glowed. Though, you had only greeted 6 boys. You had been told there were 7 members? You shrugged and chatted with the ones that were present. You could mostly understand Korean and speak some passable Korean but you still preferred to reply to your aunt in English, being the most comfortable with it. So when you had begun chatting with them, it was no problem connecting with them all as you could understand them and they could understand your English fairly well,  helping you when you did reply in Korean.

Every once in a while, you would forget to pay attention to what they were saying, getting distracted by their sharp features and handsome faces. It was then when your aunt called for you from the room adjacent to where you all sat, you excused yourself and went to see what she was after, finally, meeting the last member known as Jimin. You remember being completely entranced by a head of cool blonde hair, a face chiselled to perfection and lips plumper than yours and as red as strawberries. Your first thought had been about how they would taste and the thought had been interrupted when the boy that all those features belong to had noticed you standing in the doorway and smiled hesitantly, not being completely sure about how to react seeing an unfamiliar face. Your aunt in turn also noticed the stiffness in the boy’s body as she was tightening the collar of his shirt and looked up to ask you to fetch a piece of garment for her. You mutely followed her instructions. when you finally came back to face the boy again, your aunt, at last, decided to introduce you two. Jimin had smiled in understanding that you were there with your aunt and had given you a cute smile that reached his eyes, almost completely closing them. when you smiled back and extended your hand to shake his, he had shyly looked at it and shook yours while the mysterious little smile still played on his lips. Once again, you were entranced by his good looks and immediately face palmed internally at your earlier first thought of making out with him when he was shy as fuck with just even shaking your hand. After Jimin’s fitting had finished, he had joined the rest of the group. One by one, all of them had their fittings done while you hung out with them, surprisingly having the best time, and enjoying their company more than you expected to.

You had a completely different scenario in mind. You had imagined them to be stuck up, being too busy with keeping up their idol image even behind the scenes and barely engaging with the team. All of them had proven you wrong, talking to almost everyone at the company, being cooperative and even welcoming you, a practical stranger and making you feel at ease. All of them were insanely handsome, down to earth and funny as hell. Throughout the day you found yourself doubling over with laughter multiple times watching the boys interact with each other. Especially the eldest, Jin, had been the biggest player in providing the laughs while the others had teased him and each other about various things. However, you noticed that even the youngest, Jungkook had warmed up to you despite having the reputation of being ‘scared’ of girls and seemed quite comfortable around you. Perhaps maybe it was because you were older than him. No matter, Jimin, the boy with lips made to sin, was still shy, never directly meeting your gaze or making direct conversation. Always settling with just chiming in when other members talked to you first. Whatever it was, you found it insanely cute that he was this shy even though you should be the one who gets flustered in this scenario seeing how his beauty surpassed yours by a million. It also made you feel quite guilty when your thoughts turned x-rated every once in a while when you caught his shy gaze. He looked too cute and innocuous for his own good. Too pure.

That was, however, to be expected. Having grown up in overseas, there was no such thing as shame and you weren’t exactly the virgin Mary either. The culture in Korea was entirely different and you were certain that Jimin, and the rest of the boys, were not raised in an environment as sexually open and liberated as yours. In fact, you were certain that Jimin was inexperienced, if not a virgin. Keeping that fact in mind, you noticed that you chastised yourself quite often over the coming months.

It was like you couldn’t keep it in your pants. You noticed that all the boys acted cuter than sexy and that seemed to be the case for pretty much any idol. Sure, there were sexy ‘concepts’ but that is pretty much all. The Korean audience always preferred cuteness over sexiness. A lot of it also having to do with how too much sexiness being disapproved and looked down upon by the older generation and you could respect that. However, it was hard not to let your mind wander to the gutter when you saw them perform for the first time. It had taken your breath away to see a completely different side of the boys come out when they were on stage. Once again, you were charmed. Perhaps, the biggest change in aura was a tie between Hoseok and Jimin. Both having a bright, bubbly and sweet personality off stage and being the complete opposite on stage with their sharp moves, fearless expressions and languid body movements. J-Hope appeared to be more fearless with sharp movements whereas Jimin’s dancing had you spellbound and wondering how a human body can move so effortlessly and gracefully, exuding a cool sexiness while simultaneously maintaining his undeniable innocent character that he portrayed to his audience.

These weeks turned into months of keeping in contact with them all through your aunt’s job and you got closer. Your friendship with the hyung line had developed more so than with the younger ones. This was mostly due to your personality being more on the serious side. Though that’s not to say that you didn’t immensely enjoy Jin’s ridiculous dad jokes and even encouraged him on more than one occasion. Talking to Namjoon in English also had a big part in it and seeing as Hoseok’s English was good enough to converse with him as well as Yoongi so you tended to gravitate towards the elders more than the young ones. But this didn’t stop the shouts of ‘Noona’ from the younger boys whenever they wanted to show you something they found to be cool or when Jungkook was simply being the little brat he was. Before you knew it, Producer Bang had asked you to teach the boys some basic conversing English, given that you had graduated college, so the pressure is somewhat lifted from Namjoon’s shoulders. You had happily agreed to it as an informal arrangement because you had started a fulltime Job.

And finally, here you were, finally at the dorms. You furrowed your eyebrows at the unusual silence in the house.

“Jungkook?” You call out, taking off your shoes and placing them on the shoe rack. After hearing silence, you figured that since you were still in the hallway, they just didn’t hear you. Walking further in to the living room, inspecting your surroundings, which had no signs of any of the boys being home as the TV was off and the game console that is usually always on standby, was also off. Sighing, you knew that the older boys were going to be out but having a suspicion that the younger ones weren’t home either.

“Taehyung? Are you guys in your rooms?” You call out as you walk towards the kitchen and to their bedrooms, knocking. After no response, you open the door and as predicted, there was no one in sight.

“Should have known.” you click your tongue, pursing your lips in annoyance because this wasn’t the first time they had done this. Suddenly, you hear a noise coming from further away. Your head snaps up, looking towards the direction of the noise.

So someone was home. Walking out of the room slowly and silently, hoping to figure out what and where it was coming from, soon enough, you hear it again. However, it was noticeably a moan, though you couldn’t figure out whether the person was in pain or not. You notice the noise coming from Jimin’s room and your heart starts racing thinking someone had broken in but that was impossible – they had 24hr security so you calm yourself down.

Walking forward towards the room, your anger returns, waiting to be taken out on whichever one of the boys was in the room. You drove 20 minutes just for these brats to not even be at home? Just as you were about to knock on the door, the undeniable sound of a moan stops you in your tracks. And not just anyone’s; Jimin’s moan? The one that seemed to be the cutest, shyest of the bunch according to you. The sound was utterly scandalous and shocking while your mouth going a bit dry, thinking about what was happening.

It was pretty clear now, at what was going on behind the door. This house was always full of boys. You couldn’t exactly blame them if one of them decided to take advantage of the privacy. You contemplate if you should just leave, or confront Jimin about the plans you guys had made. Give him a peace of your mind and ask him why didn’t he stop the other boys from making other plans when they knew you were coming over.

You being the hothead you were, decide to go with the later. Knocking on the door twice, calling his name more clearly now. “Jimin? Can I come in?”

You hear shuffling on the other end and a stuttered response from Jimin telling you to wait a minute. When he finally opens the door, you are met with a swollen lipped and sweat flushed Jimin. His pupils are visibly dilated; his hair is a mess as if he had run his hands through it a thousand times. You couldn’t think of a sexier picture. BUT, you wanted to stay focused on tearing the brat a new one for having the nerve to jerk off and blowing off your plans like it’s nothing. You especially made time for this.

“Noona? W-What’re you doing here?” He asks looking at you, nervously fidgeting with his hands.

“What am I doing here? You seriously don’t remember? We were supposed to have a lesson today?” You say as you push past him and into the room, exasperated.

Jimin follows you in, with a confused look as the wheels turned in his head. After a few seconds of his looking at you puzzled while you deadpan him, it seems to click.

“Oh shit.” He face palmed himself, looking at you sheepishly. “Please believe me noona, it really did slip my mind.”

“Don’t ‘oh shit’ me you dingus. I had reminded you two days ago and even texted you this morning.” You glare harshly at him, plopping down on his bed and folding your arms under your chest.

Jimin avoids your gaze as he looks down with an embarrassed smile, scratching the back of his neck. The action lifts his shirt up, giving you a peak at his solid V line, dragging your mind back to hell. Jimin had started saying something, though you could barely remember what as you take in his attire. He looked soft, pink and ready for bed and his sweatpants were extremely distracting. When you reach his face, you are met with reluctant eyes that had obviously caught you checking him out. The blush on his face said so clearly.

You sigh for the second time in less than 10 minutes, leaning back on your arms and looking around his room which was somewhat messy.

“You know that I don’t live close by and had to make time for our lesson. Yet you let those two brats go and are having the time of your life here by yourself.” It was a statement and Jimin listened on obediently with his hands in front of him, eyes respectfully drawn downwards.

“Well… i-if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been reading English books?” He says hopefully.

“Yeah? What books?” He goes to look in his bedside drawer and pulls out several English books and sits beside you, ready to be a dutiful student. Though that’s not what makes your blood run hot and saliva starting to pool in your mouth. Definitely not it. It’s definitely not the way his sweatpants hint at what’s underneath, due to him sitting with his legs spread, either. Though it definitely makes you want to fuck him even more.

“Noona?” you noticed that you had completely stilled and not heard, for the second time, what Jimin had been previously saying. Instead, your eyes are firmly locked on the copy of Fifty Shades of Grey beside the pillow. You were guessing he had tried to hide it, though it clearly didn’t work out. You don’t know what had possessed you to do the things you were about to do, but clearly, the lust for this damn boy had finally won. Picking up the book and bringing it in Jimin’s line of sight as well you look him straight in the eyes. Completely composed except the rising heat in your body. He on the other hand, looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Is this your idea of ‘studying’ English, Jiminie?” You quirk up your brow. Beside you, Jimin had gone completely still, breathing hard, trying to look anywhere but at you.

“I-I can explain n-noona.”

“Oh? You can?” you asked in a voice dripping with honey. Sometime between this exchange, you have leaned closer to him, almost feeling his breath on your face. Jimin visibly gulps, desperately trying to think of something to say. Tsking in his face at the lack of his response. Who knew Jimin was into getting off to erotic books?

“I never imagined you to be the one to read dirty books, sweet Jiminie. I guess you have been fooling everyone all this time huh?” your face was even closer to his now. His was beet red, breathing quite firm now while his eyes constantly shifting from your lips to your eyes. Impulsively, you lick your lips at the sight of his plush ones that were currently shiny and swollen.

“I thought you were about to explain yourself? Use your words brat.” You say loudly this time causing Jimin to gasp and back away slightly in alarm.

“I-It has a n-nice storyline?” He says more like a question than his own opinion. Scoffing at his reply, knowing that he was clearly trying to save face you shake your head tauntingly at him. Having way too much fun with his flushed face and furrowed brows that made it look like he was genuinely scared of you.

“Please, honey, we both know that it has little to no storyline. Are you lying to me Jimin?”

“N-No?”

“First I find out that you forgot about your English lesson and now you are trying to make a fool of me?” You almost spit out the words. You are definitely being overdramatic. But the reaction that you are getting from him is worth it. Plus, he did piss you off anyway. This was incredibly hot to you. The fact that Jimin read this filthy book, a BDSM book at that, and got off to it, turned you on to no end.

“No n-noona, that’s n-not-”

“Then tell me the real reason you were reading this.” Jimin looks extremely conflicted, deciding between keeping his pride or letting go in this extremely heated scenario but when you look him dead in the eyes as you nearly spit the words out, he finally speaks

“I don’t have all day Jimin, don’t waste my time more than you already have.”

Then, you heard the faintest whisper – breathless and shameful. You weren’t even sure if you actually heard it at all.

“It’s hot..”

“What was that babe? You read it because you it makes you hot?”

Jimin bit his plump bottom lip, looking up before meeting your gaze and nodding his head. That was all the confirmation you needed to go ahead with this. Believe it or not, you actually were thinking about just leaving, not taking this any further because you were sure no one was going to praise you for bedding an idol who was 2 years your Junior – in Korea at least. It wasn’t much of a difference really. But in the society you lived, it definitely would be as opposed to where you came from.

“Oh Jiminie… you like reading porn? Hm? You liked reading about some rich guy fucking a girl for his pleasure, doing all sorts of dirty things to her? Hm?” You egg him on and he doesn’t move his eyes away from you.

Jimin’s breathing is getting more and more laboured by the passing second. You move your hands from your lap to place it on his thigh. Dragging your fingers slowly up and down as Jimin’s eye follow their movements. Then he nods once again.

“Use your words Jiminie.”

“Y-Yes.”

“Were you touching yourself when I knocked?” You whisper tantalisingly, dragging your hands up to his face hoping he’d let loose a bit, and indulge your filthy desires to have him come undone. He was warm beneath your touch, unusually so.

“W-What if I say yes?” You chuckle lowly against his face at his shaky response. Your forehead was now resting against his as your hand was on his right cheek, keeping him to you firmly.

“Then I guess you’re a dirty little boy Jimin, touching yourself over a dirty book.” You tsked once again. “Tell me, did you imagine it was you getting your cock sucked in the book, instead of the male character?” Jimin lookw completely lost in your words, almost in a trance as he stares in your eyes.

“Yes.” This was the first time he had replied without stuttering. You take that as a good sign – continuing. Though, you are slowly losing control yourself too. He just looked so hot sitting there, completely compelled by you with his eyes now closed, answering you like his life depended on it, skin shining with perspiration and smelling like orange blossom. You close your eyes, willing yourself to be stronger for a bit more, tease him a bit more. You sigh again, for the third time, however this time, due to the heavy desire clouding your brain.

“Did you imagine someone doing it to you? Taking your cock in their mouth?”

“Y-Yes.” Your breath hitched. You had some idea, or maybe it was your wishful thinking, that he thought about you. You had caught him more than once - multiple occasions – staring at you then looking away bashfully.

“Who… who did you think of?” At this question his eyes shoot open, looking into yours as if to decide whether it would be appropriate for him to answer. You laugh inside, knowing that all the barriers of pertinence have been surpassed.

“Y-you…noona.” He whimpers. Actually whimpers aloud and you almost groan out loud at his answer. In a flash you have pushed Jimin back on the bed and straddled his hips, leaning down until your hair fell to the side and face was a mere inch away from his. Both of your breaths were shallow. Jimin looked a bit surprised from being still all this while and then your sudden outburst. Though you definitely preferred this position as it allowed you to feel every ridge of Jimin’s perfectly sculpted body. Your core aligning with his perfectly.

“You’re so bad Jiminie… thinking about noona like that.” You shake your head slowly in mock admonishment, looking into his eyes that were still enlarged with surprise. It seemed like Jimin didn’t know where to put his hands, on the bed or your hips. Even in your compromising position, still, he hesitated.

“I’m sorry noona I-I-” He sounded almost ashamed. To ease his discomfort, you decide to fess up yourself as well.

“It’s okay baby, noona has been thinking naughty things about you too. How can I not, when you look like this.” You bit your lip looking down between your bodies, noticing how hard he was underneath you. Pressing angrily against your clit. This was the great pro of Jimin not being insanely tall, being able to press him directly against your core while still being able to reach his lips. Speaking of his lips, you decided to kiss them. You finally leaned down, brushing yours against his plump ones.

“Jiminie, noona is going to kiss you now, would you like that?” Jimin’s eyes have closed instinctively, anticipating the kiss, nodding his head. And then you pressed down on him lightly, prompting him to be vocal.

“Y-Yes please, kiss me.”

This was all you needed as you crashed your lips against his, moaning as your lips met and tasted his for the first time. It didn’t take long until you felt the first swipe of his tongue against your lips and you both opened your mouths, slipping your tongues and tasting each other deeper. Jimin tasted of strawberry lollipops that he always was sucking on and it made your head spin. His hands were now on your waist, careful to keep them away from your hips until you took his hands pushed them further down. You felt like you were drowning in him as his kisses were getting out of control. Your efforts to keep the kiss slow and sensual were being interrupted by Jimin’s needy ones as he kept leaning up, giving you short but deep kisses as if he would die without them. It was almost getting hard to breath so you broke away to take in a much needed gulp of air. Jimin leaned up, chasing your lips with his eyes still closed. Instead, he settled for your neck, digging his face in, just resting there while he sucked the skin gently.

“Jimin, honey, s-slow down.” You gasped as he grazed his teeth against the skin in his mouth. Irrefutable pleasure was coursing through your body and you had barely done anything with Jimin except kiss. Jimin was truly like a drug. He was fucking addicting. You already knew that this won’t be the last time you touch him like this. And by the looks of it, seems like Jimin won’t either. He was now whimpering, making whiney sounds trying to get you to kiss him again.

“N-noona, please.”

“Please what baby?” You grasped his hair, pulling him back from your neck to look into his glistening eyes.

“Do something.” He moaned out, pushing up into your hips, making you gasp and push down. You grabbed his hands and pinned his arms above his head with a tough tug.

“Don’t tell me what to do brat and do not move until I tell you to. Understood?”

When Jimin nodded his head you grasped his cheeks with your hand, making his plush lips stand out even more in a pout.

“I said, do you understand?”

“Yes. Yes, I understand. But please, d-do something. I-It hurts.” At the sound of a helpless Jimin, your resolve was weakening and you softened your tone.

“Hurts where baby? Tell me, let noona fix it.” You ask sweetly. Jimin rolls his head to the side with a bite of his lips.

“Y-You know where, please.”

“I’m afraid I don’t Jiminie. Tell me. Come on, you can do it.” You coo gently, free hand caressing his cheeks.

Jimin closed his eyes burying his face in your neck and whispering his answer softly.

“M-My dick.”

“What baby?” You ask again with a pitiless smirk on your face, wanting him to be senseless; almost. And god bless, it was worth it considering Jimin was now a moaning, whimpering and whiney mess.

“Fuck, my cock Y/N. It hurts. Please touch m-my cock.”

With a low chuckle, you fastened your hands back up, pinning his to the bed as you started to move your hips back and forth on the hardened length underneath, slowly. As soon as you started, Jimin had lost control over his vocal cords it seemed. You never suspected that calm and collected Jimin, the bashful cute boy, to be this vocal and messy in bed.

“Ah. Yes! yes yes yes noona. Fuck me. Rub your pussy on me Y/N, fuck yes.” His words were burning you alive. Your pace was increasing with each chant from his mouth and slightly due to Jimin’s constant squirming, trying to stay still and obeying your command. To be honest, you didn’t care at this point. The pressure in your lower stomach was starting to build. All that build up from before had you coming nearly to your end. Not to forget that Jimin turned out to be a dirty talker anda moaner. Fuck, he was a moaner. His sounds alone were making you come undone.

“Noona.” Jimin whined in his incredibly sexy, raspy voice.

“Yeah baby?”

“M-More, please, I’m so close.”

You let go of his arms, reaching down to pull his shirt up and over his head, coming in contact with his hard pectoral and abdominal muscles. Jimin had taken this opportunity to push his hips up into you, making you half gasp and moan at the hard length pushing against your clit so deliciously – just right. You brace yourself placing your hands on his chest, breathing hard.

“Jimin, baby, h-hold on a minute. Let’s take these off.” You say as you begin pulling his sweats off him, leaning back to take them off completely. Jimin gladly helped as he looked about ready to burst. You were definitely not prepared for what you saw. Hard, thick and girthy length. He was bigger than you had imagined. Almost disproportionate for his frame. Almost. Jimin’s confidence had seemed to be boosted when compared to about an hour ago when he was a stuttering, blushing mess of a boy. You took a moment to admire him. He looked like a fucking Greek god with his chiselled, golden body, hair a mess, lips swollen, cock hard and ready. And as you were about to get back in to position, you feel his hands tugging at your pants.

“T-take these off noona. Please.” He looked in your eyes hopefully. You bit your lip and placed your hands by your side, silently directing Jimin to do the honours. His face bloomed with a beautiful pink flush as he pulled the zipper down on your jeans, tugging them down. You lifted your hips for him to pull them down further and off your legs. He was staring in amazement at your panty clad hips, your long legs – almost mesmerized. Taking your previous position again, you lean down to get closer to his face once again while you start the grind of your clit on his cock. You abandoned all hope of being slow and sensual as feral need had took over you because it was hard to stay sane and consistent when Jimin was looking at you like you owned his world. Your core being ultra-sensitive, making every brush of his hard length a hundred times more lethal. Not to forget that his length was not confined beneath the constricting material of his sweatpants anymore. You almost cum when you hear a high pitched whimper from Jimin. Speaking of coming.

“Jiminie, did you come before?” You ask, referring to him touching himself earlier. Jimin, being the groaning mess he was, took a few seconds to reply.

“N-No – mm- but I was about to- Ah!” You pinned his hands above his head again, pouting at him mockingly.

“Aw, poor baby. It’s okay honey, noona will make you cum.” He whimpers at your words, thrusting up harshly, battering your clit at this point.

“Noona, f-faster, please, make me cum noona. Please please please” Fucking hell. Jimin was straight up begging you. You knew Jimin might be submissive, but never thissubmissive. It was such a contrast to how he controlled thousands of screaming girls with a flash of his abs. And here he was, a moaning, sweaty mess. Spouting such filthy words.

Your movements had slowed down a bit as your body was getting exhausted. You were about to come even just from this. But this boy’s stamina was obviously higher than yours. Jimin noticing your fatigued body took action. Boy did he take action. In an instant, Jimin had you flipped over, pull you underneath his body, lining his cock with your covered pussy, where a substantial wet spot was embarrassingly visible. You looked at him with disbelief

“I can’t take it anymore, p-please let me?” Jimin asked with a sinful roll of his cock against your pussy. The contact was so close now that you could feel your lower lips parting, nestling his cock between them. You shakily nodded, wrapping your legs around his hips in response because watching his sweaty sculpted body work on top of you – on your pussy – was the biggest turn on of your life. He was lithe but muscled and every roll and every glide had you losing your mind.

“Go ahead Jiminie… U-Use noona’s pussy to make yourself cum.” Jimin whimpered at your words he wasted no time in following your orders, picking up his pace and fucking you into his bed. The bed had started to creak with the force of his thrusts. Each time he dragged his hips, his cock slid against your pussy lips and up to your clit, creating the best friction. All of these sensations happened so fast as Jimin was almost moving too fast for you. Scratch that, he was moving too fast for you.

“J-Jimin, ah! B-baby, slow down. Oh fuck.” His pace was relentless. Grinding his hips in your cunt as fast as he could, moaning like he was almost in pain. It was obvious he was chasing his release and lucky for him, you were right about ready to burst. You could sense it as your legs tried to close despite having Jimin’s slender body in-between them. You could see his abs clench with the force of his thrusts and couldn’t believe that the ever so prim and proper Park Jimin was on top of you, thrusting his cock against your pussy, pursuing his pleasure like nothing else mattered. If someone had told you a week ago that you would be in your position, dry humping the shit out of each other, you probably would’ve slapped them. Though this wasn’t so much dry anymore. Your panties were a sticky mess from your own arousal as well as Jimin’s pre-cum being all over them, creating the most iniquitous sounds as sweat dripped from his forehead. The knot was so tight in your stomach that you almost couldn’t bear it.

“Fuck, fuck baby, I’m coming! Jimin-ah!”

“Fuck yes Y/N c-cum for me.” Jimin’s pace helped you tip over the edge in a euphoric bliss. Your vision had turned white for a few seconds with the force of your orgasm coursing through you as Jimin continued to thrust his cock against you. It felt like you came for a life time. Your pussy had become extremely sensitive from your orgasm and you weren’t sure how much more of Jimin’s grinding you could take. Placing little suckles and opened kisses on his vascular neck, you help him along to his own release.

“Come on baby, you can do it. Cum for noona. Cum all over noona.” Jimin whined at your words, getting on the verge of his release and you couldn’t believe that he had held out this long.

“I’m s-so close Y/N noona.”

“That’s it baby, just a little m-more.” Your words coming out in a stutter at how scorched your clit was now, being already so sensitive as it was after your orgasm. But, you held out for Jimin, letting him use you as a vessel to get himself off and it only made you wetter. His rhythm had become irregular and his cries had gotten louder.

“F-Fuck, I’m coming oh fuck.” Jimin swore like a sailor as he got dangerously close. But what he did next almost made you come again. With a speed almost quicker than a gunshot, Jimin had leaned back, pushed your panties down exposing your swollen pussy. Before you could comprehend what was happening, Jimin worked his hand over his cock until he had let go. Until he came all over your pussy. Sticky hot white ropes of cum landing on your swollen clit and labia. You moaned at the scene unfolding above you because this was the hottest shit you had ever encountered. Of course you will punish him later for this but still. Where the fuck was this Jimin hiding before?

After he had let out what seemed to be an endless stream of milky white cum, Jimin falls forward, resting his face in your neck, panting. You both took this time to catch your breath. Several moments passed as you both laid in his bed, you stroking his hair as you stare up at the ceiling just resting in silence before you speak softly.

“You okay baby?” You whispered, tenderly stroking his hair, to which he replied with a blissful hum.

“Never been better.” He replied with a sweetly shy and sleepy smile, indicating that his usual charming self was back as the lust had settled.

You kiss his cheek softly, savouring the moment with the younger boy and move to get up when Jimin pulls you back again.

“Where are you going?”

“To clean up the mess you made, you brat.” Your teasing tone was obvious which makes Jimin blush again deeply as he bites his lip. But his next request surprises you.

“C-Can I clean you noona?” His request seemed innocent enough considering the context of this indecent scenario.

“I guess you can.” You lay back down as Jimin gets up, sliding down the bed, sitting beside your hips.

“Uh, Jimin? Aren’t you going to get towels?” your brows have furrowed in confusion when he didn’t move from his position, instead moved between your legs, parting them again.

With a lovely sweet smile, dimple visible endearingly on his cheek, he places a kiss on your ankle before speaking.

“Why would I need those when I have a mouth, noona?”

Fuck what you said before. This was the hottest shit you had ever encountered.

a/n: yeah ik its bad lmao. i swear i write better now kjwbjhwqkbfkbf. Thanks for reading!!

[thesevenseraphs]

Bungie Weekly Update - 10/31/19

This week at Bungie, we’re hosting a celebration.

Festival of the Lost has been unleashed on the Tower. Cobwebs are everywhere, black cats are on the prowl, and every vendor has some candy for you to enjoy. Eva Levante went all-out this year on decorations and brought some new masks for you to earn. While candies and treats are readily available, you also have the BrayTech Werewolf to earn, packing the multikill clip punch. The Tower isn’t the only place that’s a bit spookier. There’s been an uprising on the Moon, and Eris is calling on you to challenge the Hive in the Altars of Sorrow and the Pit of Heresy.

Xenophage made its grand entrance, bug and all. We’ve seen Guardians cracking the puzzle and claiming their Exotic in real time, but it isn’t the only new weapon for you to add to your arsenal. We’ve got some Hive-infused weapons that not only look mean, but back it up with some serious firepower.

If you’re wanting to take on opposing Guardians with a bit more lethality, Momentum Control has arrived. Fast respawns, quicker kills, and ability regeneration tied to the defeat of your opponents. Get out there and make Shaxx proud.

So, now that we’ve covered everything that went live on Tuesday, let’s see what else is on the calendar: A charity, a costume contest, a hotfix, a bounty, and more are inbound.

TRICK OR TREAT!

Even with everything going on, we can take a moment to appreciate the little things in life. A bit of humor in the face of fear. Eva Levante is hosting the Festival of the Lost this year, and we have another opportunity for players to earn the Levante Prize. Throw on a mask, embrace your inner darkness, and join us in celebrating Festival of the Lost 2019.

Want to participate? Here’s how:

Create a costume for your Guardian and strike a pose in the perfect setting.

Snap a screenshot in any Destiny 2 destination or activity.

Play with shaders and armor combinations for the spookiest outcomes.

Group participation is encouraged!

Submit your image to the Community Creations page on Bungie.net.

We’ll retweet our favorites from @Bungie and grant winners the Levante Prize.

If you do win, make sure you give us Bungie.net profile links so we can deliver the emblems!

While we’re all for fun and games, we’d love for you to try and scare us while you’re at it. Bonus points to those who do.

PINNACLE HOTFIX INBOUND

Destiny 2 Hotfix 2.6.1.1 is tentatively planned for Thursday, November 7. It contains some quality-of-life fixes for the sandbox and Season Pass weapon acquisition. One of the more major changes deals with your pursuit of pinnacle Power. While we’ll be providing a patch note preview below, we have some words from the team on our initial goals for pinnacle Power and why we’re making some adjustments.

Dev Team: When we designed the pinnacle band of Power for Season 8, our intent was to provide an aspirational progression that reflects participation in some of the more difficult and time-limited content of Destiny 2. This was meant to be a slower progression than the powerful reward band, but one that wasn’t a gateway to accessing content.

We’re not hitting our goals for the availability of rewards in all slots for the pinnacle-level rewards. You may have experienced getting duplicate Energy weapon drops from these sources, which is compounded by the need to get a drop in all slots in order to gain enough Power to raise your character’s overall Power by 1. To mitigate this, we have increased the Power granted by pinnacle rewards to +2 instead of +1.

Once this change goes live, only four slots will be needed to increase your character’s average Power, at which point your powerful rewards will allow those slots that you might have missed to catch up. Our goal is that the pinnacle band remains a reward for tackling the more prestigious challenges, but takes some of the sting away from receiving multiple drops in the same slot. We appreciate all the feedback that we’ve received on this, we and hope to hear more from you on how this band of progression feels with the new change.

PLEASE NOTE: As this change is currently planned for next Thursday, players should wait to earn their pinnacle rewards until this hotfix is available so they can take advantage of the +2 change.

Alongside the changes to pinnacle rewards, we’re also adding the Season Pass weapons (Pluperfect and Temporal Clause) as possible rewards from the Vex Offensive activity. While players may currently unlock the chance for these weapons to drop with random rolls from the Crucible, Gambit, and strikes, we wanted to add them to another activity to give players more agency in earning random rolls.

Additionally, we’ve developed a fix for ashes to assets to prevent Telesto from being the absolute best-o, where players could earn their Supers far more quickly than intended.

Stay tuned to @BungieHelp for updates on the exact time and date of this hotfix.

IRON FRIGHT

Amid all this excitement, Lord Saladin wanted to get in on the action. The Iron Banner returns next week, bringing Power-enabled combat back to the Crucible. With a handful of bounties in tow, you’ll have opportunities to earn the Iron Will armor set, along with some pinnacle-tier rewards.

Iron Banner Control

Starts: 9 AM Pacific on November 5

Ends: 9 AM Pacific on November 12

Note: You may be thinking “Wait, 9 AM? What’s going on here?” – Day Light Savings ends this weekend for us in the states. I know, it’s confusing. I don’t really know why it happens either. You can find more information in the Player Support Report later in this very article.

Earlier this week, Destiny 2 Update 2.6.1 introduced changes to Heavy ammo spawning in the Crucible. The following change will also be present within the Iron Banner:

Heavy ammo initial spawn changed to 60 seconds (was 45 seconds)

Heavy ammo additional spawning changed to every 120 seconds (was every 60 seconds)

Now, to make sure we say it again, we are currently planning a hotfix that will increase pinnacle reward Power gains next Thursday. We highly recommend that players wait to redeem any Iron Banner bounties which reward pinnacle gear until the hotfix has been applied.

We also fixed an issue in 2.6.1 that was causing the Iron Banner bounties to reset daily. Players will have four bounties to complete throughout the week.

REGICIDE

If you follow your community news, you know that Gothalion is on the move to a new streaming platform. To ensure a nice, warm welcome in his new home on Mixer, we’re inviting the internet to hunt him down in the Crucible. We’ve placed a Bungie Bounty on his head! It seemed like the neighborly thing to do…

Bungie Bounty—King Gothalion

Saturday, November 2, 10 AM–Noon Pacific

Momentum Control on PC

www.mixer.com/kinggothalion

Festival of the Lost has introduced a new competitive mode in the Crucible. If you play on PC, that’s your hunting ground. The rules are simple: Match with Gothalion, as either a teammate or an opponent, and win. The game must be played on his stream during the two hours allotted. To the victors go the new Bungie Bounty emblem.

This is a housewarming party and you’re all invited to attend. Bring snacks and ammunition. This is one of those rare occasions in which stream sniping is encouraged!

CHARITABLE ENDEAVORS

This week was also host to the inaugural Game2Give charity event, supporting the Bungie Foundation’s iPads for Kids program and Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. We’ve been blown away by the community involvement, as we’ve raised nearly 1 million in donations from Guardians around the world. The charity is still going, and this weekend continues the event with DCPLive, joined by special guest Pete Parsons!

As a reminder, we have a few incentives for each donation, 100% of which goes to the charity!

A $10 donation will earn you the NEW Mist Blossoms emblem.

A $50 donation will earn you both the Mist Blossoms emblem and our first-ever Charity Ghost, the Gilded Shell Exotic Ghost.

A $100 donation will earn you both items above and enter you to win an item from the Bungie Prize Pool.

We’re having many more players join in on this event through the weekend, so stay tuned to http://bung.ie/game2givestream for more information.

FORGE WARDENS

Two-Six-One was our most recent update. We’ve got a slew of changes that have gone live, but it seems that the Izanagi’s Burden quest line continues to evade some players. Destiny Player Support is on the case, bringing the most up-to-date information on what we’re tracking.

This is their report:

Izanagi’s Burden

Earlier this week, we deployed Destiny 2 Update 2.6.1 to players. With this update, we resolved an issue that was preventing a subset of players from completing the Mysterious Box quest to receive Izanagi’s Burden. Following this update, however, new issues have emerged which block progression further down the line for this quest. Specifically, Destiny Player Support is tracking the following two issues:

Players are not receiving progress when redeeming forge keys.

Players are not receiving progress for the Obsidian Crystal received from rare Black Armory bounties.

These issues are currently under investigation, to be addressed in a future update. Players who are encountering other issues with Black Armory forges or the Mysterious Box quest should report to the #Help forum.

Festival of the Lost

This week, Festival of the Lost returned in Destiny 2. Eva Levante has made sure that this Festival is open to all.

For anyone joining us in progress, let’s review the entry requirements outlined last week:

Brand-new players who go through the New Light experience must achieve at least 770 Power before Eva Levante will beckon them with her Festival of the Lost introductory quest. If these players are lower than 770 Power, they will not be able to interact with Eva Levante at all.

All veteran players, including those who were boosted to 750 Power at the launches of New Light and Shadowkeep, may head directly to Eva Levante to begin her quest.

Don’t forget to wear your favorite mask when completing activities around the solar system. Wearing a mask is required in order to earn candy and Chocolate Strange Coins.

Lastly, this year’s Festival of the Lost will conclude at the weekly reset on November 19. Players looking for more information on Festival of the Lost should see our official guide.

Destiny 2 Known Issues

In addition to issues with the Mysterious Box quest tracked above, Destiny Player Support is investigating the following issues to emerge in Destiny 2:

Players may intermittently experience delayed loot drops and/or pursuit progression. If a player is at activity completion and has not yet received their loot, they should make sure they do not return to Orbit early.

If a Cabal Scorpius Turret Daemon falls off the map in the Haunted Forest, it will not be killed and won’t respawn, halting progress. Players will have to wait out the remaining time to collect rewards, or return to Orbit and restart the activity.

Following the launch of Destiny 2 Update 2.6.1, we monitored elevated ANTEATER, MONKEY, and WEASEL errors. At this time, issues causing these elevated errors are expected to be resolved. For the latest information on the state of Destiny services, players should follow @BungieHelp on Twitter or monitor our support feed at help.bungie.net.

For the latest known issues to be confirmed by Destiny Player Support, players should visit our Known Issues thread in the #Help forum.

Daily and Weekly Reset Time Change

Beginning this Sunday, November 3, Daylight Savings Time in the United States will end. This means that Destiny 2’s reset time will change to 9 AM PST (1700 UTC) through March 2020.

For more information, please view our Destiny 2 Ritual Reset Guide.

[ursoself-satisfying]

an OC sneak peek [2/?]

ok heres another w the accompanying oc!!! its ginger n maryanne 4ever!!!!! i lov them sm!!!!! but anyway heres another excerpt from around the same time n its MORE angst n I hope u like my vagueness lol,, PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK!!! LEMME KNO WHAT U THINK!!!! ilyall enjoy ::””)) IM GONNA PREFACE THIS W THE FACT THAT IK IRL BRIAN IS A PURE MAN N THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN N ANITA IS A GODDESS BUT THIS IS JUST FOR THE DRAMA ITS TOTAL FICTION I MEAN ABSOLUTELY NO DISRESPECT TOWARDS ANY OF THEM its got some cheating ig so be aware that anita is my mom n the loml pls dont call me out ::(( 

---

“Anything to drink?” He asked casually, causing the girl to squirm in her seat. Her discomfort was amusing to him, as she was the one who had traveled out in the first place. She was present of her own volition but acted as though her emotions had such an irresistible hold on her, or rather Brian did, that she was there out of a primal need rather than any conscious decision.

“No- No, I’m ok, thank you.” The tall man glanced back at her with a soft, sad air about him. This feeling often came with their interactions as of late, despite their past. He averted his gaze from her body and turned his attention on pouring himself some tea instead. They existed in simple silence for a few moments, the only sound in the small kitchen was that of the kettle on the stove and the pouring of boiling water in his cup. He stood at the counter and took a long sip before turning slowly to sit across from his unsolicited guest. A feather soft smile graced his lips as he took her in. Even in an unfortunate situation, she was unbelievable, the same as ever.

The woman bit her lip before leaning forward and uncrossing her tense legs, “So, uh, wh-”

Brian set his drink down with a small clink on the table, the sound meant to interrupt her question. He just stared into the hot earthy contents for a moment and stirred it slowly. “Anita’s at her semi-annual retreat this week without me.” He cleared his throat, “I couldn’t spare the time between the post-production bustle and having to prepare for the cosmos convention.” His smile was thin and he took a sip of his tea before continuing, “I’m home alone for a while,” his eyes traced the woman’s silhouette before meeting her gaze as she was doing the same to him, “but I think you knew that.”

“Look-” She started quietly, but ultimately she could maintain the eye contact long enough to finish and slouched for a second instead. Ginger looked down at his comment, avoiding the aim of his accusatory glance. With a huff, she sat up and turned to face suddenly face him directly. “Maryanne kicked me out for the night.”

The elder of the two raised his brows and put his cup down with a concerned expression. “She kicked you out?” He asked incredulously.

The redhead swallowed, “Shes ‘moving on’.” She spat her words at him with a clear distaste for her lovers choice of actions as well as words.

The long fingers of the guitarist slid across the table and laid open for an embrace. Ginger glanced up at him cautiously before deciding his soft eyes held genuity and she laced her hand in his. The tips of his digits wrapped around her like they were made to fit with one another. Her hands in his caused a wave of emotions to ripple from the contact and Brian could barely handle it. He sniffled and slowly let his thumb slide over the never aging skin of the woman he once adored, and though he would tell himself otherwise, he still adored.

“I'm sorry,” he began, but she shook her head violently with an angry frown. She unintentionally squeezed his outstretched hand but he squeezed right back.

“Don't be. She’s just-” Ginger sighed, “She's different now, you know?”

Her aura slowly shifted from that of deep warm hues to softer cooler tones, from red and oranges to blues and purples like a dying flame coming down from its hottest point. Brian could feel the shift shoot through her and he prepared himself to stand and hold her the minute she needed him to.

Ginger looked up to meet Brian's sympathetic stare. He had always been the key to their emotions and it unlocked some kind of flood gate in her. She could feel it rush all at once in seemingly every part of her body. “I just don't wanna lose her, Brian!” She let it our like a gust of wind from her mouth, a storm of repressed worried. “I can't-! Not like I lost you!”

Just as he knew he would be needed, the man stood and went to her side. She stood as he approached and let him engulf her in his long arms as tears escaped and ran down her already red cheeks. She was shaking, having no way to handle or process the realization their return had thrust upon her. Brian held her sobbing head close in his chest, stroking her short hair and tightening his limbs protectively around her warm body. She could feel him place a small kiss on her head, whispering and cooing to her as he once had long ago, “Hush now, it'll all be alright, my darling girl,” his voice would waver now and again as he calmed her, “my sweet, beautiful, darling, darling, girls.” The smaller hands of the woman held dependently to the collar of his sweater and she choked back a final sob before attempting to speak again.

Her small voice came out with a rasp, raw from her cries, as she tilted her head back to meet the eyes of her familiar love, “We made things work, Brian. Why can't we just be like that again?” She pleaded with shining green eyes that took the man to another scene for a moment, one of discovery and firsts, one full of ecstasy and elation, but one so different than his present. “We were happy, Harold. Why can't we be happy again?” A weak attempt at a smile graced her lips at the loosening of her tongue, unfolding the old name like opening an old scrapbook.

Had her hands not been traveling up his changed face to tether him to his physical body, her use of his other name, so intimate and exclusive, would have had him lost right then and there in the sensation she provided. She cradled his face and her shaking lips begged to be kissed, tangling her fingers in his grey curls to entice him. Drifting closer and closer until he was bent to breathe down her neck, the temptation became too much.

It may have started at the neck but it moved in hot streaks from the necks to jaws to lips on lips. While Ginger's hands were preoccupied with the buttons of his shirt, Brian’s were holding her as close to him as he could, sprawled out on her back dangerously close to her ass. She mapped out his chest with the tips of her nails while her tongue did the same with his mouth. Nothing needed to be mapped, really, because for her it was like walking down a road to your first home. Even after you've left it, you'll always remember how to get there, no matter how much shrubbery grows over the path or how long it goes unattended. Brian was their home and they always seemed to find their way back to him, regardless of the distance put between them.

Brian thought she was exactly the same. Everything about her physically was just as she was when she left him. He then pulled away at the reemergence of that memory. As he separated from her, she mewled in protest, the loss of connection cold on her. That was right, though, she had left and he had stayed. Years and years had gone by and he had made a life for himself, more of a life, or in the very least a life without them.

“Brian,” Ginger moaned, trying to snake her arms back around his neck, “baby, what's wrong?” Her eyes were closed and her shirt was half haphazardly pushed up but her exposure only made Brian suddenly feel sicker.

“You know what's wrong, my love.” His languid fingers worked to pry her needy form off him with much difficulty. Her pouts turned to frowns and he gently, if not reluctantly, pulled her clothes back in place on her but she swatted him away as he spoke. “Ginger, darling, all of this is what's wrong.”

He motioned to them, to the empty house, to the hairs sticking to her face like sunny, golden, cherubic looking locks. She was glowing, but wasn't she always? She was in his eyes but that only made it all harder. “What?” She spat, “That- That I still love you? That's wrong?”

So much of it hurt him but he- He had to. It was really the only acceptable course of action. The teenager in him beat on his heart like Roger on a gong and begged and pleaded for there to be another way, for him to run away with her like he was 17 again, but he was old and his heart no longer reverberated in his chest like it used to. “You're the most intelligent creature I've ever encountered, my love. You know why all this is wrong.”

The tears returned and rolled down her face in record time as she bit her lip. “Why can't things go back to the way they were? It was perfect-”

He sighed, “The world is always changing-”

“I love you, Brian Harold May! And you still love me! I know you do! Isn’t that what you taught us?” With calculated steps, she aimed to close the distance between them but the older man kept her at arms distance now. “If we're in love then we should be together!” With every word, her speech became less and less intelligible through her sobs. “I just- I don’t understand!”

His heart shook as it shattered in his chest at her final words, a final crash to end an epic saga. “Things are a lot more complicated now, Ginger. You'll understand someday-” He held back his own tears and watched her pace the floor in front of him.

“Don't be so fucking condescending!” She snapped, stopping to look him in the eyes, the same eyes she saw when she first arrived. They were the only consistent thing in her long life, the love he held in his gaze. It softened her against her will. She wanted to be angry, not for the first time ever, but for the first time for personal reasons.

Brian paused at this. He had never seen her exhibit this much emotion before especially not aggression. All this time and he wasn't sure if he’d ever seen her this mad. “I'm sorry-”

“Don't be.” There she was. She was back to being cold. Face dry and slack, she was a woman of logic and decision. She collected herself and her things, jackets, and bags scattered around the room, refusing any help or assistance offered by Brian.

He didn't do a thing to stop her in the end. He knew she would find somewhere else to go, to stay, someone else to keep her warm. He had no doubt about that. She was well loved and well read, but ignorant in the ways of society. He worried but he couldn't have stopped her if he’d wanted to anyway. He desperately wanted to, but he knew the second his skin sparked on hers again he wouldn't be able to stop this time. No one in his life deserved that, his kids didn't deserve a father like that and his wife, God, she deserved more than he was being right then.

The door closed with a slam and Brian watched from the window as she got in her car but she didn't leave. She just sat there, hunched over her steering wheel and what he could only assume was yelling. Her mouth was wide and her eyes were shut tightly. He hadn't even realized the tears falling from his own eyes. He didn't wait for her to leave, he couldn't take the site of her any longer, not here not like this.

Behind some of his amps, Brian kept a box. It was filled with old photos, some bits of clothing, and all sorts of pieces of art. His favorite, of course, was the photos though. There they were, all together, smiling and in love. The three of them, they were- They were unstoppable, untouchable. It was golden with them, always. God, he thought how did it come to this? How could their story have arrived at this conclusion? And all Brian could assume was that this simply wasn't yet the conclusion.

[shadowreine]

The Art of Falling in Love - Chapter 2

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: V x MC

Note: Hoo boy, this chapter is long. Not sure if all chapters will end up being this long, but I guess I just have a lot of Exposition™. I hadn’t planned to post this chapter today, but what is a posting schedule?

This chapter is in Jihyun’s POV. Jsyk, this fic will be alternating POVs between Jihyun and MC, but whenever it’s in Jihyun’s POV, it’s completely in 3rd person, including references to MC/Mirae (so, “she/her” instead of “you”). This is just a stylistic preference. 

Chapter 2: Not V Anymore

Jihyun would have recognized that low voice anywhere. Slightly disappointed at being interrupted, he turned. Jumin stood few paces away, gaping at him with his jaw slack and his brows raised.

“Hello, Jumin,” he said. He reached out his hand, and Jumin stepped forward to shake it. “I go by Jihyun now.”

Jumin’s brows lifted even higher. “Is that so? You said you couldn’t make it.”

“I did. I’m sorry. I had”—Jihyun stole a glance at Mirae before looking back at his old friend—“a change of plans.”

“How long are you planning to stay in the country?” said Jumin.

Jihyun let out a breath, suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of indecision at being asked so directly. He shook his head. “Indefinitely, I suppose.”

“So you’re back.”

“Yeah. I am.”

Jumin took a moment to process this. “It’s good to see you, Jihyun.”

Jihyun smiled, knowing that there was much more sentiment laying behind his old friend’s straightforward words. “Same to you.”

The loudspeakers in the banquet hall crackled with feedback. Everyone’s heads turned toward the podium where Jaehee tapped on the microphone. Once she made sure it was working, she spoke into it, announcing that the party was coming to an end. She thanked everyone for coming on behalf of the RFA and wished them all a lovely evening ahead.

Jumin stood beside Jihyun as they listened to the announcement. Jihyun was comforted at how naturally they seemed to fall back in line with one another. Of course, he imagined Jumin must have been frustrated over his absence for the past two years—the prolonged gaps between phone calls, the rare postcard every few months. He would have to make up for it somehow, and seeing Jumin being so accepting of his return was enough for him to know that resuming their friendship could be possible.

“Does Jaehee still work for you?” he said.

“Of course.”

“Still working her to the bone?”

Jumin glanced at him askew. “If you mean to ask whether I continue to expect nothing less than her hardest work and effort, then yes. She’s an ideal assistant in that regard.”

Jihyun sighed. “I admire her work effort, but you need to give that woman a break.”

“That’s what I keep saying,” Mirae said as she stepped between them. Jihyun bowed his head to look at her, since she was so much shorter than either him or Jumin. “He doesn’t listen to me, of course.”

“Jumin doesn’t listen to anyone. I see he hasn’t changed at all.” Jihyun couldn’t help but smile fondly at that. “Though, he really ought to listen to you, Mirae, more so than anyone.”

“I do listen to MC, in fact,” Jumin said. “I respect her opinions and thoughts more than most people’s… You’re rolling your eyes at me, MC. Does that mean you don’t take me seriously?”

“You say you listen to me, but then you go on to do whatever you were going to do despite of it. I’m not upset, I’m just saying.”

“People don’t say something for the sake of saying something. There’s always an intention behind it.”

“If you say so. I see you’ve masterfully diverted the topic away from the fact that you need to give Jaehee a break, so I won’t entertain this conversation anymore.” Mirae looked at Jihyun. “You guys have been friends since childhood, right?”

Jihyun nodded, curious at her behavior toward Jumin. They seemed close, close enough that Jumin let her speak to him like that with little retaliation. Jumin almost seemed to enjoy the banter.

“How did you put up with him?” she said.

Jihyun chuckled. “Well, you know, our personalities used to be a lot more alike when we were younger.”

“Really? I don’t believe that,” she said, surprised. “I don’t know if I could deal with two Jumin Hans in the world. One is enough.” She gave Jumin a side-eye when he wasn’t looking. “More than enough.”

Jihyun bit back a laugh at her sass. At the same time, however, he couldn’t deny the small pang of jealousy he felt at seeing how Mirae and Jumin interacted with one another. He wasn’t entirely sure where the feeling came from, or why. He would have thought he’d be glad that his best friend had taken a liking toward her, especially considering the strange circumstances surrounding their initial meeting. Jumin must have liked her so much to keep her within RFA’s tight-knit circle. Jihyun should be grateful.

But right now…Jihyun wanted her to talk to only him. He was glad to see Jumin, of course, but part of him wished he hadn’t interrupted his moment with Mirae. He wished he could have a little more time alone with her. That wasn’t possible now. As the party guests slowly filed out of the banquet hall, the rest of the RFA members took notice of his very unexpected presence and started joining the group.

Jaehee approached them once she was finished with her announcement. She greeted Jihyun politely, though the shock of seeing him was apparent in her eyes. As they shook hands, she expressed that she was glad he was safe. Jihyun had always liked Jaehee. She was one of the most responsible and level-headed members of the bunch, and he’d always seen an underlying potential in her that begged to be realized.

Zen joined the group next. In a moment rare for Zen’s energetic personality, as soon as he realized who he was seeing, he froze mid-stride, speechless. But then, without warning, he stepped forward and pulled Jihyun in for a hug. Jihyun welcomed it.

“How’s the acting career?” said Jihyun when they pulled away from each other.

“Fantastic. I’m the lead in a musical currently. I’ll get you tickets! I’m so happy you could make it to the party.”

“I’m happy I could make it too. And thank you, I would love to see your show.”

“It’s one of the biggest hits in recent memory,” Jaehee commented enthusiastically. Jihyun couldn’t have felt happier for Zen.

By the time Yoosung came along, Zen was in the middle of describing his musical. He approached tentatively, and Jihyun noticed him from the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to interrupt Zen, so he looked over to Yoosung, locked eyes with him, and nodded. Yoosung did the same, and he punctuated it with a genuine smile. After all the disagreements they’d had with each other in the past, Jihyun finally felt like they had found common ground.

Luciel was the last to see him. He’d joined the group in the same manner as Yoosung, quietly and unassuming, but when Jihyun looked at him, he found amber eyes full of emotion, as if Luciel couldn’t believe what, or who, he was seeing. A ghost from the past. Everyone fell quiet as the two men stared at each other.

“V…” Luciel’s voice was hardly a whisper. “You’re… What are you doing here?”

“I’m back, Luciel,” Jihyun said, almost tentatively. Out of everyone, Luciel was the one he was most anxious to see. He knew leaving to find himself meant leaving Luciel behind. He’d agonized over the decision, knowing how unfair and cruel it would be to just abandon him for selfish reasons, even though Luciel himself had given him his blessing. There was so much Jihyun wanted to tell him, so much that the old version of himself had left unsaid. He owed it to Luciel. He owed it to their relationship, as fragile as it was now. He just needed to find the strength to do it.

“I hope you’re well,” he said. “We have a lot to catch up on, I think.”

Jihyun extended his right hand, not entirely expecting what Luciel would do with the offering. Luciel’s eyes dropped and examined it. Jihyun could imagine the wires firing in his mind. Would he reject him? Pull him into a hug? Whatever the response, Jihyun was prepared to accept it.

Finally, Luciel extended his own arm and shook his hand. Not firm, but not delicate either. “We do. I’m…glad you’re back.”

Relief washed through him. Perhaps he could dare to hope after all.

There was an unbearable silence among the group now, and he wasn’t sure if he should be the one to break it. Thankfully, however, Yoosung took the opportunity to call over a server to bring them glasses of champagne. That lightened the mood considerably.

“To our first successful party as the new and improved RFA,” Yoosung said, raising his glass. Everyone raised theirs in turn.

“And to many more in the future,” said Jumin.

“And to our incredible guest coordinator,” said Zen, flashing a pearly grin at Mirae, “without whom none of this would be possible at all.”

“Here, here!” everyone agreed in unison.

Mirae smiled bashfully at Zen’s praise, and the sight almost took Jihyun’s breath away. It wasn’t the first time that day she’d elicited such a reaction from him. He’d dreamed of reuniting with her for so long, but even dreams were nothing compared to the reality, and he was entirely unprepared for it.

Most impressive of all, he realized as he stood among all his old friends, she really had found a place with RFA. It was hard to believe she hadn’t always been there from the start. Jihyun may have been the organization’s founder, but Mirae was the glue that kept them together, the one who inspired them to rebuild from the ground up. He would be forever grateful to her for that.

They all clinked their glasses together. When Jihyun’s glass touched hers, their eyes met. He continued to watch her as they both took a sip of their drinks. Her cheeks flushed and she shifted her gaze away from him, but she stole furtive glances back to him every now and then as if to check if he was looking at her. And he was. Like she was the only person in the room.

In truth, he was grateful to her for a whole lot more than just keeping RFA together. More than she could ever know.

“Do you remember what else I told you I wanted to be able to do someday?” he had asked her.

He hadn’t had the chance to finish.

I want to be able to love someone again, he would have said.

I want to love you.

His heart twisted in his chest as the unspoken words made rounds in his head, intensified by her presence right in front of him. It was a quiet hope that he’d held fast to from the moment he let her go in the airport all those years ago. He had never presumed that she would wait for him; he’d even told her not to wait, whether for him or for some other future. He had wanted her to live her life on her own terms, seizing every moment and opportunity. Just as he did.

But secretly, in the back of his mind, when he lay awake after a full day’s adventures and slowly peeled back his superficial layers to reveal his true self, he hoped his path would one day cross hers again. He hoped when they did that it would be the right time.

If he could ever be so lucky as to love someone—truly and wholly—he would have wanted it to be her.

He ached to tell her, just to let her know.

His thoughts were interrupted when Luciel forcibly cleared his throat.

“Since we’re all here,” he said, almost glaring in frustrated anticipation at Mirae, “I think now is the perfect time to hear some news. Of the good or bad kind. Eh, MC?”

Everyone’s head turned in Mirae’s direction. Her eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights, and her cheeks flushed the faintest shade of pink.

What was this about?

Her shyness soon melted as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“Well,” she said slowly. Her eyes fluttered momentarily to Jihyun’s before she looked back at everyone else. “I got an email back from the Global Children’s Alliance this morning, and they offered me a position.”

Every member of the RFA cheered at once.

“Really?!” said Yoosung, his jaw falling slack.

“No way! That’s awesome!” said Zen.

Luciel pumped a fist in the air and let out a whoop. “I knew it! What did I tell you? You should have told me first.”

“You wouldn’t have lasted the party without blowing the secret, Seven,” said Mirae.

“Not true! I’m good at keeping secrets.”

“Sure. I know how excited you get. You could’ve had grabbed the microphone in the middle of someone’s speech and announced it to the whole room.”

Luciel opened his mouth to retort, but paused in thought, then closed it. “Fair enough.”

“Congratulations, MC,” said Jumin. “The GCA are very lucky to have you.”

Jaehee grinned at Mirae and reached over to squeeze her arm in support. “I’m so happy for you.”

Mirae’s eyes twinkled. “Thanks, guys. I couldn’t have done it without all your help. Really.”

“It looks like I owe you a congratulations, too,” said Jihyun. The joy in the room was infectious. “What position have you accepted?”

Mirae snapped her gaze toward him, as if caught off guard. She hesitated. “Oh...well, um, V, I…”

“She’s going overseas to teach children in need!” Zen said. He pressed a hand to his chest and wiped the corner of his eye in a very convincing imitation of being overwhelmed to tears. “Our RFA angel is spreading her wings to see the world, and to help people, of course.”

Jihyun’s heart plummeted into his stomach. He could only gape at her, unable to respond. He could barely process what he’d just heard. Mirae was leaving? Just when he had finally returned home?

“Stop it, Zen,” Mirae begged with a laugh. “You’re embarrassing me.”

Luciel slipped an arm around Mirae’s shoulders and shook her. “Ooh, MC, but we’re so excited for you! Where are you going? I’ve studied abroad myself, remember? I can offer top quality advice in making a smooth transition. There’s a bunch of resources online–I can send you links, if you want.”

“Hold your horses, Seven,” Mirae said. She gracefully ducked under Luciel’s arm and freed herself. “They may have offered me a position, but it’s still not set in stone. I still have to complete the next semester tutoring my class and pass their teaching standards.”

Luciel waved a dismissive hand. “Oh whatever, you got this in the bag!”

“Haha, I guess so,” said Mirae, but Jihyun didn’t miss the uncertainty and the lack of confidence in her expression. It was a stark contrast to the excitement she’d had only a moment ago.

“Where will you be going?” Yoosung asked.

“Well, like I said, nothing is official yet, but they mentioned I could be in Thailand, Morocco, Ecuador, or Mozambique.”

“So it’s a mystery? That’s insane! The program starts in February, right? And you have no idea where you’ll be in”—Yoosung counted on his fingers—“six months!”

“It’s pretty wild. And exciting. But I can’t help but be a little nervous too.” She looked at Jihyun. “I bet you’re used to that by now, though, huh? Going where the wind takes you.”

Though only minutes before he had been brimming with words of everything he wanted to say to her, Jihyun suddenly forgot how to speak. Everything was happening so fast.

“Yeah,” he sputtered finally, trying to play it as cool as possible. “One week you’re in Barcelona, and the next you’re in an obscure town on the coast of Iceland somehow.”

“Wow,” she said, impressed. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

He nodded. “We do.”

And I thought we would have so much more time.

By now the banquet hall was now entirely empty of party guests. Zen looked at his phone and announced that he had to leave.

“I have a show tonight,” he explained. “Congratulations, everyone, on a very successful party. We need to celebrate this in the near future.” He stepped toward Jihyun and clapped him on the back. “It’s so good to see you again, V.”

“It’s Jihyun. Please. Not V.”

Zen’s brows knit in confusion, as did everyone else except Mirae and Jumin. He expected to have this sort of reaction for the foreseeable future. It was an odd thing indeed, suddenly changing the name everyone knew you by, even if it was your given name. 

“Eh? Jihyun, hm? That’s going to take a while to get used to.”

As Zen went around the group saying his goodbyes, everyone started going their own separate ways as well. Yoosung had a LOLOL event with his gaming friends, and Jaehee was planning to watch Zen’s show (for the third time in two weeks) with someone named Soomi.

“Who’s Soomi?” asked Jihyun.

Jaehee blushed as if she caught herself saying something she shouldn’t.

Mirae leaned toward Jihyun and whispered, “Soomi is Jaehee’s girlfriend. They’ve only been dating a few months, and Jaehee’s still shy about it.”

“I see,” he said, a bit surprised but pleasantly so. He decided not to prod Jaehee about it any further. He was glad Jaehee had found someone to share her Zen fanaticism with.

Luciel announced he had to get going as well, as he had some things to take care of, and that he’d see them all on the messenger.

Finally, Jihyun, Mirae, and Jumin were the only RFA members remaining in the hall. The party staff bustled through the room around them, wiping down tables and taking down decorations. Jihyun offered to help, but Jumin dismissed the notion, saying that it was the staff’s job to clean.

It was silent among the group, and Jihyun had the feeling that no one wanted to be the first to leave. At least, neither Jihyun nor Mirae wanted to. Jumin only stuck around, it seemed, for Jihyun’s sake.

While Mirae busied herself staring at one of the staff members who was climbing a ladder to pull down the party banner, Jihyun took a step toward her. He figured he had nothing to lose.

“I meant to ask you,” he said, and she turned to look at him, “would you like to have dinner with me tonight? I know it’s last minute, but I was hoping we could catch up sooner rather than later.”

Mirae smiled. “I’d love to.”

Jihyun’s heart fluttered with excitement. But his spirits were dampened when Mirae sighed dejectedly. “But I already have plans tonight,” she finished. “I’m meeting a friend.”

A friend? Who could that be? He had to stop himself from asking. It wasn’t any of his business, of course, but the selfish side of him wanted to know who she was seeing. Once more, a jealous feeling overcame him, raw and unfamiliar, but he stamped it down.

“Oh, that’s all right,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe some other time?”

“Yes. Definitely. Keep in touch, yeah? Don’t...disappear on me,” she said, her voice soft. Then she stammered, suddenly flustered. “I mean, that is—at least, not without me knowing first, okay?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

They stood staring at each other for a few silent seconds, and Jihyun desperately wished he knew what she was thinking. She said she missed him, but how much? Did she miss him as much as he missed her?

...Did he make her wait too long?

Mirae stepped forward awkwardly, gauging his reaction, unsure whether he’d be okay with it. She didn’t need to wonder, however, because Jihyun moved toward her instinctively and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped himself around her, and he felt her stiffen in surprise. He’d expected that—the few times they had ever hugged each other, she had initiated it and he’d been caught off guard by it.

This time, however, he wanted to be the one who held her. Not to comfort or console her, but to let her know that he had changed. That the person who returned was no longer the broken man she knew back then. Her arms finally find their way around him. She was warm in his embrace. The soft sweet scent of her hair filled his lungs. It had been so long since they were this close. 

She was the first one to pull away, and even though he wanted to pull her back and keep her there, he let her go. Her face was unreadable, save for the rosy tint in her cheeks.

“Bye, V,” she said. Then she turned to leave.

“It’s Jihyun,” he called after her.

She turned and sent him an apologetic look, then she smiled and tapped a finger to her temple. He watched her walk away until she was gone.

He needed more time.

Jumin spoke up from beside him, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Jihyun, since you’ve just arrived, why don’t you stay at my place tonight? You’re welcome to my penthouse until we can find you somewhere more permanent.”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask that of you. I can find a hotel or a room someplace. I’m not too picky.”

In the two years he’d spent traveling abroad, Jihyun had gotten used to having less than ideal living arrangements. He’d move from hostel to hostel, or couch to couch, wherever he could find a place to sleep. It was a far cry from how he was raised, living in a large private estate owned by his father, and it was much less picturesque than his old cliffside house. But eventually he learned to appreciate the simplicity of having nothing but a bed and a small suitcase of his belongings. He’d shed himself of all the excess baggage he’d carried with him throughout his life, and he learned what it meant to be free. When he finally returned to Korea, he figured, if nothing else, he could bunk in some hotel downtown until he got back into the rhythm of living in the city.

Jumin, however, looked at him as if he were insane.

“Nonsense,” he said. “I won’t take no for an answer. I can’t let you stay at a hotel when my residence is more spacious and more comfortable than even five-star hotels.”

“They’re not that bad,” said Jihyun with a shrug. But he knew there was no point in arguing with him. Once Jumin Han made up his mind about something, he would see it through, whether you liked it or not. “Okay, I’ll stay at your place. Thank you, Jumin.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jumin said. “I’ll see my father off and inform him that I won’t be having dinner with him tonight. Then I’ll call my chef and have him prepare a meal for us.”

Jumin left to make arrangements, and Jihyun waited for him outside. A black car pulled up at the curb and Driver Kim hopped out to greet him. They shook hands.

“It’s a pleasure seeing you again, Mr. Kim,” he said to Jihyun.

“Please, call me Jihyun.”

“How were your travels abroad?”

“Enlightening. Very...educational, shall we say.” It was so much more than that, but it was impossible to phrase it all without sounding incredibly cliche or cheesy.

“I bet,” said Driver Kim. “You must be glad to be home, though.”

“I am,” said Jihyun, but a strange feeling settled on his chest upon hearing the word.

…Home.

He raised his eyes to the sky, to the tall buildings towering above him, then back down to the streets veering off to all the diverse neighborhoods of the city. He was born in this city; he grew up here and had stayed most of his adult life here. He knew this place more intimately and personally than anywhere else in the world. And yet...

Could he call it home? When he was out there in the world searching for himself, his thoughts would sometimes drift back to where he had come from. It wasn’t that he missed his childhood home or his secluded cliffside house or his apartment in the city. He didn’t even miss his family very much, as his remaining family lived most of the year overseas and his mother had long since passed. What he missed was the familiarity of it all, the comfort of his sheltered existence. Once all of that was stripped away, what was left?

He’d missed his friends, of course, but he’d be lying to himself if he said the only reason he came back was because of them. Traveling abroad was just as beneficial to him as it was exhausting, and after two years moving from place to place with no end in sight, he was finally ready for something more stable. A new life worthy of the person he had fought so hard to become.

Where was his home now? What was home? He wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, but a nagging voice inside him told him it was time to find out.

Jumin met Jihyun by the car and apologized for making him wait.

“My father wasn’t too pleased when I told him I had to cancel our dinner,” he explained. “He seems to think he wasted his time attending the party.”

“You didn’t have to cancel. I would’ve been fine having dinner on my own.”

“I haven’t seen you in two years, Jihyun. I’ve barely heard from you. My father can wait. Besides,” he flicked back a loose strand of hair that had fallen across his forehead, “he seemed more irritated that I’ve dodged yet another opportunity to meet his new girlfriend. She would have been at dinner with us, and I’d rather avoid having to associate with her.”

Jihyun raised his brows. “What girlfriend?”

“Her name is Glam Choi, and my father is completely obsessed with her.”

“Wait, did he divorce his last wife?” The last time Jihyun checked, Chairman Han was still married to wife number two. Or was it three? He couldn’t even name any of his previous wives or girlfriends.

“No,” said Jumin.

“Oh.” Jihyun paused. “Oh.”

“Indeed. Now, let’s get going.”

Jihyun suddenly felt bad. Though Jumin’s voice was as flat as ever, Jihyun had known him long enough to detect the subtle nuances in his demeanor. The slight dishevelment of his hair, the terseness of his words. Whatever romantic entanglement Chairman Han had found himself in, it was causing his son a great deal of distress.

The least Jihyun could do was be there for him. He owed him that.

They both got in the car, and Driver Kim closed the door behind them.

“I admit,” said Jihyun, “I’m relieved that you offered to let me stay with you.”

Jumin tilted his head at him. “Why is that?”

“Because I already sent my bags to your penthouse.” Jihyun shrugged and let out a laugh when he saw his friend’s surprised expression. “I didn’t know where else to send them, and I couldn’t just walk into the party carrying all my luggage with me.”

“Well, it would’ve been an amusing sight for our guests to see the elusive V, fabled founder of the RFA, crashing the party like some street urchin.”

“I don’t look that bad.”

“You’re wearing necklaces that look like they were purchased from one of those coin machines commoners love so much.”

“There’s a very good story that goes with these necklaces,” he defended, but he laughed all the same. Jumin’s lips lifted in the barest hint of a smile.

Jihyun’s gaze shifted to look through the car window as the city rolled past.

“They wouldn’t have recognized me anyway. I’m not V anymore.”

“You’re right, Jihyun,” said Jumin. “You’re not.”

[eorzeasntm]

ENTM Tumblr Cycle 11

Round 3 Results

Hi everyone!  Last week I challenged our models to go out into a dungeon and find a Boss Monster, inspired by one of my favorite card games.  While all of the models fought their monsters valiently (or ran away screaming as is the case with our winner), the best shot this week belonged to 

Ni’ko Shae

The votes were actually quite close this week but the community tipped it in Ni’ko’s favor.  The judges loved the unusual choice of the filter as well as the unconventional pose, since for once “visibly engaged with the monster” was not a battle requirement.  

Our guest judge this week was Misia, the new host of ENTM Instagram Cycle 2.  If you are interested in auditioning for IG cycle, please hit up our Discord channel and join in the fun!  IG Cycle 2 auditions will end on March 24th. 

For all the models, we have judges feedback below the fold.  

Judge Terrini

Adam: I quite like the framing and elements of this shot. The effects aren't obscuring anything important and the boss' pose definitely looks like it's responding to your blow, so it works well. Your glamor however doesn't pop all that much and while all the elements work well together, I'm not getting a lot of excitement from the shot. A closer zoom would have given more drama here I think. 

Bria: WATCH OUT! Haha I love how it looks like you avoided the dragon's breath weapon by jumping on it's nose and the filter giving the pink tinge is actually really cool! You've framed the boss really well and being in full dragoon armor says explicitly that this is your job and it's all in a days work. I have no complaints but only a few nitpicks. While I love the more classic dragoon coloring and you do stand out in some ways, it might be nice to use spotlights to give you a bit more outline. 

Haila: The effects of this shot are fantastic! They make this fight look very epic and I love your style and flare for this satisfying image. I do think that the portrait view gives a nice frame of the effects but it does feel a bit cramped horizontally and too tall with empty space at the top of the picture. I know how these things can be hard to capture just right though and how hard it is to get the enemy posed just right with the right animation fram and the right angle. Still great work! 

Kota: I love this shot... you have this perfect framing with blocking that darn jester from stepping on you and him being just ever so slightly out of focus but still up close and personal is a really nice effect. The only thing that might be nicer is if your outfit popped a bit mor, particularly the bust area seems a bit lacking in shades of brown and it would be nice to see the light coloring and white continuing there to contrast with your opponent. 

Luma: I am a bit underwhelmed by this shot. It's a lovely framing of the boss, but your hair is blending into the background and your framing is weak. You are not in a strong action pose so I'm not getting much of a sense of interaction between the two of you besides that you're a bit wary of this great big ape... and for a scenic shot, being perfectly centered is not getting the most out of the background (I would recommend shifting the camera to the left to monopolize a bit more of that nice sunset peaking behind that cabin and cut out the boss gate barrier). 

Ni'ko: Oh wow, I'm quite impressed by this composition and I can draw a lot of emotion from your posing and effects, it's like you're fighting off the demons in your head. I actually really love this shot a lot. My main nitpick is the filter makes the actual boss monster particularly undefined and it's a big risk in a round meant to highlight him, but I think you managed to pull it off with artistic integrity in having it tell a story. 

Peaceful: Your skill is really nicely framed and I love the effect of the bright light arcs from the arrows streaking towards the boss. Your pose is dynamic and expressive which is really satisfying as well. The weakest part of the shot, in my opinion is that you've managed to mostly obscure the boss monster in effects, so in a round called "Boss Monster" this is risky as we are expecting to see both of you as features to the shot. It's not an automatic bad thing, sometimes the risk pays off, but since this is a smaller boss at a distance from you and obscured by effects, the result leaves me wanting. 

Yojimbo: I'm not completely sure what you are trying to accomplish with this shot. The limb darkening and ability both blur and obscure most of the interesting features of the background so it's not much of a scenic, and what we can see clearly is rather uninspiring and empty. The action of the shot is also pretty tame and even as a glamour shot you're also rather out of focus. Being up close does make you really stand out overall and I actually quite love your glamour, the red in the clothes matching the stripe on your face is an awesome combo and I think the pose is great. 

Yomu: This is a very strong shot, like an exchange of blows and waiting to see who came out on top. I like the theme of being a dark knight versus the angelic statue, and the high contrasts of the angel's darkened bone white, reds of abilities, blacks on you and with the blues and greens in the the background is an interesting effect. I know quite well the trouble of framing, but I would have like to perhaps have been a bit more up close on you, looking up from a little below and getting more of a sense of the angel looming above you.

Judge Wulf (Kusuh)

ADAM I have some serious stressful memories from this dungeon, so it’s pretty satisfying to see Siren being taken down a few pegs, honestly. My favorite part of this is the red line created by the DRK skill, it creates a nice line to follow, crossing through Siren and passing the tip of your sword. The way you’ve captured siren leaning back also adds an amazing sense of action to the shot as well! My note for you this week has to do with zoom and framing. It’s small, but I think this shot would do well to be just a bit more zoomed in. There is quite a bit of empty space behind you and behind Siren, and I feel like that is what makes everything seem smaller, and therefore less impactful. I feel like just raising up the camera a tad and zooming in juuuust a little bit would alleviate this problem! With all that said though, I am very much loving this shot, keep it up!

HAILA This is 100% my favorite Machinist skill! I’ve always wanted to get a a good shot with it, and I’m glad you were able to make the opportunity! Going vertical for this shot was really a stand-out unique choice for this shot, and it’s not an unwelcome one. The way the lights are flashing out from the monster really creates a sense of impact  and the roaring makes it seem like the hit hurt! A note for this picture, and it’s a small one: The way you’re angled plus the direction you’re looking really hides your face and from what I can tell, you’re eyes are open and staring downward. I feel like the image could be made a but stronger with you looking directly at the boss’s face/neck area. Keep in mind, though, that’s just a small suggestion, this is a wonderful shot overall!

YOMU Please allow me to get a little bit silliness out the way really quick, The frown on the boss is an absolute MOOD and I would use it for reaction images forever. With that out of the way, I’m gonna come right out and say that this is easily one of my favorite shots this week! One of my favorite things is to follow the lines that effects create in battle shots, and you’ve made excellent use of the DRK effects to make my eye follow across you and right through the boss. The way that line cuts through the center of the picture is an excellent use of framing as well! It gives a very nice “split screen” effect that  divides you and the boss, therefore creating conflict. If I had to give a note for this week (and I always try to!), I’d say that if you moved the camera up just a smidgen, then the boss’s head wouldn’t be caught off just at the tip. That’s it though! Amazing job on this shot.

KOTA The first thing that sticks out to me about this shot is how I can feel the impact of the foot crashing down onto the shield, and the very nice sense of action this creates. There’s a lot of discussion in the ENTM community when it comes to the use of a dutch angle, but I think it works for this type of shot. Also, I enjoy how your outfit fits together with your weapon choice as well as with how it contrasts with the boss’s dark coloration! Here’s my note for you this week: I feel like some of the impact is lost with the boss being blurry due to the DoF effect. Try messing around with the DoF settings, or try a similar shot with it off all together, I think having the boss in full focus would have a greater impact. I can’t wait to see what you have next week, and every shot has shown excellent improvement!

Judge Ona

Adam: While I am personally partial to Siren, I am a little disappointed that this image doesn’t let me see her face and that magnificent hair of hers. The image is not as strong as others you have submitted in this cycle to date. Your face is hidden in the shadows and obscured by your hair. The main light source is directed onto Siren’s chest and not the action below. You are not looking at the enemy, however it could be the follow through to the massive sword swipe. The colors in the image are also very similar and tend to blend across elements.

I do love the angle of the image. The Dutch angle you used here is a great way to draw the eye upward to the enemy. I love the background as well. It is a beautiful space and backdrop for this fight scene. The colors, although tending to cause elements to blend together, are fitting to this scene. I also love the elements from the bottoms of the pillars casting a hint of light upward.

Don’t forget about you light source next week Adam, and take notice to let the viewer see your face, and more of Garuda’s as well.

Luma: While you have definitely added a light source to this image, I think you over-implemented it. You can definitely see the ape’s face and your glamour, this strong of a direct light source now casts a shadow too hard on the rest of the image. Ape-man’s arm has now become the mountainside.

I think this is an interesting location for this image, the background of tropical huts adds a jungle flair, and the banana tree is perfect for a battle with a giant ape. The use of the pencil filter creates a unique texture to the buildings. The unfortunate thing with pencil, is that when it is applied to overly pixelized graphics it can create a more noticeable distortion to them. I also want to point out that the sky in this image is gorgeous. Those colors are beautiful!

I love how you are engaged in this battle with the ape, but I can’t see your face. Change the angle of the camera and essentially reverse the image so that your face shows and the viewer can see your expression. I can see the boss’ expression, but not yours, and no offense, I am sure your Cat-boi face is prettier than that hair ape. I am looking forward to seeing your image next week!

Peaceful: I love your expression! You find pure joy in destroying that monster and landing the final blow! It is without question that no one wants to find themselves on the other side of your bow! I love the juxtaposition of you to the monster, causing you to be the largest thing in the image, without overtaking all the elements. The battle effect is interesting in this filter.

I struggled to see which boss or enemy this is on first look, needing to really zoom in the see the Gobby feet and armor. I also wish you could have somehow angled him, or had placement of him that obscured the purple battle zone line. It is interesting that it remained so bright of a purple with the rest of the elements of the image all becoming a sepia type tone. Try to capture enemies with less of a battle effect so that they are more identifiable in future rounds.

Your glamour is a perfect fit for fighting an armor encased enemy. Steam punk outfit and bow work well in this arena too, I just wish I could see your entire foot at the bottom tip of the bow. The lighting along the walls fills the room and leaves little dead space for the eye to find. I look forward to seeing what future images you bring to the table!

Yojimbo: Red ninja mask, rhinoceros enemy, green oozy glow… Please tell me this was a TMNT cosplay! If not, it is definitely something you can just pretend you tried to do!

I love the red in your glamour! The mask and the red on your arms is enough to make you stand out without distracting from the entire image. With the green glow throughout the image, the red draws the eye to your character and makes you the focus of the image. The slight blur to the image slightly causes the image to lose some clarity, but I would assume that the intent was that this would be like looking through the smoky haze. It is initially difficult to discern the enemy upon first glance, however, because of that same blur. I do like the intent here, however, and applaud you for your creativity in using this effect.

I like how the background is non-descript allowing for the focus to be on the battle, and it may have done some benefit to the image if you were slightly closer to the rhino. Another suggestion may have been to throw a small light source to the right of the rhino, putting some definition on it, without taking away from the overall feel of the image. I look forward to next week’s submission!

 Kota: This shot feels very neon. Very vivid, while still being void of being bright. The color palette reads heavy and aggressive, but is still attractive to the eye. I love the edges and how they seem to glow throughout the image.

I would have liked to see a different hairstyle on you so that your face was not obscured by it. The angle of your body position in the image seems a bit out of proportion as well. From this angle your foot looks to be the same size as the boss. Obviously this is not the case, however, it is something you should keep in mind when having such extreme angles.

I absolutely love how the boss is slightly blurred, and you are the main focus of the image. You utilized the rule of three here perfectly, and balanced the image out well to include minimal dead space in the background. Your glamour definitely suits your tank in this image as well! Don’t forget to add a small light source to your face in your images as well. Even with the hair across your face, a small light may  have helped to highlight and provide definition to your expression. I really enjoyed this image from you!

Judge Nadede

Bria:  I do have to say that this week’s image from you is your strongest one so far. With that said, it was not easy trying to spot you in this shot because you blend in with the surrounding colors. It might have helped you if you had zoomed in on yourself a bit more so than having the dragon in its entirety being seen. YOU should be the main focal point, not the dragon. Other things that might have helped would be getting lights on you a bit more and maybe wearing something that had colors that are complementary to what is around you. In your case, something along the lines of yellows and oranges (complimentary colors are opposite of each other on the color wheel). I also feel that you should be facing the dragon instead of away, especially with the spear end of your lance is pointing downward as if meaning to attack. I will say that this boss does present a challenge when working with lighting and finding ways to stand out. I say that as I used him during a theme we had last cycle. Keep on improving and can’t wait to see what you come up with for the next round.

Haila:  Not too bad of a shot this week. It is somewhat growing on me after seeing it zoomed out to see the whole image at once instead of scrolling up and down (that is on the site hosting the images, not you). With that, it still feels like there is still a bit of space above and below you and the Zu. I wonder if either having the shot horizontal or even zoomed in more would have given your shot even more tension than what is already there. You also blend in a little bit with the background of your image. Some back lighting and lighting on your face would have helped that as well as maybe wearing something that has colors complimentary to the background (like the orange seen through the ceiling windows). Keep up the good work and can’t wait to see what you bring to the next round

Ni’ko:  First off, thank you for the laugh. It was really needed *hugs* It is one of those “What do I do, what do I do??!” moments when seeing all those mobs coming right after you. The diagonals radiating from the main boss helps move the viewers eyes from the center of the shot outwards and back again. All the angles that are being used within your image (including the direction the eyes and faces of everyone is facing) gives the scene a much sense of action being taken place. The only thing that I’m finding distracting is the color filter you used within the image. I appreciate the old comic book feel your image has (dunno if that is what you were going for) but I wonder how the image would have turned out using a different filter. Overall good job this week, and again, thank you for the laugh.

Yojimbo: Yojimbo, sadly this is my least favorite of the images you have taken so far. Your mount one from last week is my favorite so far. One thing that I have noticed amongst all of your images thus far is needing to work on your lighting. You have some interesting ideas in your shots that would be further enhanced. Play around with the light settings from up close to far away along with playing with the light intensities and color sliders. I would even urge you to ask for advice from Katarh or other former models/judges with your images as a second set of eyes never hurts. I know you can do an awesome job and waiting to see what you will bring to the table next week. 

Judge Misia

Peaceful Ursa: I just love the sepia tone you picked for this shot, especially with all the lights you have that frame the picture. It’s easy to pick you out and know what is going on. Your Roe is the star and you are kicking major booty from afar! Only thing I would say is careful with the coloring. My eyes were drawn to the purple behind the enemy. Make sure if you have a color tone to keep it throughout the picture. Also the boss is very hard to make out so either you dismembered him or he just never existed. Otherwise, beautiful job!

Luma Lee:  Your picture is a beautiful shot, and the colors pop out very well. I feel there were a lot of miss opportunities here though. My only thing with this picture though is there doesn’t seem to have very much going on within the picture. The gorilla seems to be the star and you are the co-star to the role without much of a face. This also might be a personal preference, but the purple dungeon blockage also takes away from the beautiful colors you have in the picture.

Yomu Kazul: I am so in love with this shot, it brings me back to the trailers for Shadowbringers! What I love about this shot is that I feel I am watching a battle scene, going toe to toe with an enemy twice your size (And you are already a huge character!) The effects don’t drown you out and the colors pop in so many ways, I want more and more from it .If I have to nitpick something, maybe nudge the camera up a bit to get rid of dead space and see more of the boss but that is me trying to find something. Keep it up! You did an amazing job!

Bria Rirsa: An epic battle against a dragon! How can you pull that off? You surely did! What I love is that you created a scene that shows us exactly what is going on. It even looks like you landed on his head, ready to give the next strike! Watch out dragon! One thing I would work on would be to be careful with colors. You almost blend in with all the purple and light blues. If you are a small part of a picture, make sure you are standing out more so you don’t get lost in all the action. Great job though!

Adam Evershot: A battle with the harpy herself and it looks like you got the upper hand here! I do like how you were going with this shot, especially when it looks like your knocking the snot of of her with your sword. I was a bit disappointed though that I couldn’t see you face very well and your glamour choice didn’t seem to fit the theme very well with what you were going with. You almost blend into the background and the villian seems to really steal more the spotlight. Try something more of a glam that contrasts from the brown so that you shine brighter as the star! Good job though!

Haila Wetyios: Interesting approach on this theme, I love how you are in the battle with the boss and obviously giving it more then it can handle. I feel there was many miss opportunities here. Though you picked portrait for your picture, I feel it cut off a lot of the action and created more dead space in your picture. I love the action and effects but they drown out the boss and your character in general. If you are creating a fight scene, bring more of that action by maybe zooming out from the fight, or showing more of the boss in the picture. In the end, you are the star, so don’t blind yourself out from the fight. Good job otherwise though!

Ni’ko Shae: Great job this week! This picture reminds me of my first time in dungeons when I had no idea what to expect! The face expressions were priceless and the monsters were so easy to make out. I will say that the filter threw me off though with how blended the colors were but they make sense in a almost comical scene you have here. Only thing Ill point out is the line you have going straight through your character. I believe that is one of the filters but it didn’t fit well with the theme you did. Beautiful job though!

Kota Tumet: Man! I would have you protect me any day for you are just a shining warrior in battle with a foe that might just kill us all. I love how you created something that shows what is exactly going on. The boss has thrown a mighty blow and you have blocked it with ease. Your face shows how in the moment you are and I feel I’m right there with you. One thing I will point out that I feel would have made this picture so much better is that you blurred half the boss. If you are in battle, make sure to fully commit to what you are fighting, you are the star, but make sure your co star isn't almost blended into the background. Otherwise, you did wonderful!

Yojimbo Kasai: This boss better watch out cause there is a ninja in town! I will be honest though, this picture was very hard to look at. The edges blurred out so much that not only were you captured in that blur but the boss as well. The dark edges were also not needed because it adds so much darkness to a already dark picture. I would next time take advantage of the environment and let the fog create the ambiance for you, no need to add to an already beautiful backdrop to an epic picture. You want to stand out and not blend in with your effects for they have stolen the show. You have so much potential, keep it up!!

[spladoum]

There’s a Sim hanging out of your pocket ... Replies (GIF warning, Very Very VERY Long)

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Derping around with this until I get bored (which is likely to be soon...”

Uh I wanna add you!

getmygameon replied to your photoset “Derping around with this until I get bored (which is likely to be soon...”

Oh I didn't realize we could add other players. I don't know what my code is yet, but once I fiddle around with a bit more ill be happy to add you ❤

GET OVER HERE, GROUP HUG INCOMING

hyperkaos replied to your photoset “Today I woke up to find a persistent announcement that it was Méline’s...”

so I just looked at this and it says "in app purchases $2.99 - $99.99 per item" are they out of their minds?

I was certain that no one would be foolish enough to pay for the $99.99 item. (Full disclosure: I have bought about $50 worth of premium cash, some with Paypal, but still ...) After being on the official EA Answers board, I quickly realized that I was quite wrong. Multiple people there are clearly spending hundreds of RL dollars playing this. Someone there was proposing that the developers implement a monthly subscription, even. It’s ... flabbergasting, to say the least. :O

hyperkaos replied to your photoset “Today I woke up to find a persistent announcement that it was Méline’s...”

I'll admit the cuteness of it, but good grief, I get enough of sims here lol

Haha, fair enough! :) One very big point in the game’s favor imo is that it can more or less play itself. In the immortal words of Ron Popeil, you can “set it and forget it.” So it’s fairly relaxing in that way. Of course, if you’re foolish enough to actually begin to care about your characters, you’re headed for Trauma City eventually!

rollo-rolls replied to your photoset “Today I woke up to find a persistent announcement that it was Méline’s...”

Off topic but... JESUS CHRIST, THIS IS HOW SIMS MOBILE LOOK LIKE? And we thought Sims 1 looked amazing...

Never off-topic! It is pretty amazing how far the tech comes in just fifteen years, isn’t it? :D On the other hand, had the developers actually managed to produce Sims 4 as a true mobile game in this style ... 

hyperkaos replied to your photo “It’s just not Sims without things like this happening.”

lol truth!

wannabecatwriter replied to your photo “It’s just not Sims without things like this happening.”

EA keeps it consistent :D

mochasims replied to your photo “It’s just not Sims without things like this happening.”

LOL

jenba replied to your photo “I’m not even going to ask. That poor chicken.”

lol :)

getmygameon replied to your photo “I’m not even going to ask. That poor chicken.”

What...on...earth.

There are a lot of times playing this game when you just wonder “How did this slip past QA?” And then you eventually realize that you are the QA, and suddenly the nonsense is understandable. :P In good news, I think they fixed the hot tub glitch! :P

hyperkaos replied to your photoset “Éme decided to really put some muscle behind learning the restaurant...”

you really need to step back lol

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “Éme decided to really put some muscle behind learning the restaurant...”

Good tip...I didn't know you could do that!

Yesss! That was the only way I could stay alive for quite some time at the start of the game. (Of course, now I have cupcakes falling out of my ears!)

aikea-guinea replied to your photoset “Éme decided to really put some muscle behind learning the restaurant...”

Nice knife skills, Éme!

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “This has been a fun 24-36 hour period. Ever since learning to just let...”

There's a bar?! I need that haha

I wish! I mean, I know the bar is a community-only item for a reason (because there’s jack-all to do at the events), but that would be a good item to have for home usage, dontcha think? Or even as a party item? *ponders* 

treason-and-plot replied to your photoset “Someone leveled up! :O Éme is thinking about getting a job at the...”

I thought this was TS4 for a long minute :D

I don’t blame you in the least! The amount of stuff in game directly cribbed from Sims 3/4 is pretty unreal. And we’ll give you more of it ... for the low low price of $19.99! (Per item pack.)

goatkibble replied to your photoset “Someone leveled up! :O Éme is thinking about getting a job at the...”

LMAO

Well, you already know the alternative men planned if I couldn’t find an Adam for him to marry, haha! Stan may yet show up! XD

getmygameon replied to your photoset “Someone leveled up! :O Éme is thinking about getting a job at the...”

Pfft! Smack me XD when you said that 'pie' line my mind went to the gutter til I saw the ACTUAL pie XD I'm sorrrryyyyy! I'm the worst

I can’t begin to imagine why you would think such things of me ...

justanothersimsblog replied to your photo “Apparently someone was listening when I mentioned hot tubs earlier...”

Lol. Well this saved me from checking out what the male's swimsuit looked like! I'm currently waiting for the kitchen event to recharge since I did it too early and it didn't count for the quest *grumbles*

So frustrating! I know they’re learning as they go, but but there’s way too much that isn’t documented adequately so players end up making completely avoidable and/or costly errors.

wannabecatwriter replied to your photo “Apparently someone was listening when I mentioned hot tubs earlier...”

Those bottoms are totally something Eme would wear in cannon story.

He really would ...

getmygameon replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

I'm surprised that game is still going :o

simtonomy replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

Lol, I'm grateful Éme entertained the guests at Reyna's foodie party!

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

Hahaha Ibis is always smile. I was happy to see Eme at the parties, he always looked like he was having a good time.

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

I love your updates! Éme has shown up at my family's party. He's beginning a friendship with a couple of them. I always enjoy seeing Éme in my game!

Certain of attention, that’s him for sure!

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “This is Éme. I’m not here, you know what to do.  “Hi, Éme? This is...”

A good excuse to skip work, though.

It’s amazing what you can do when you’re technically on the clock ...

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “This is Éme. I’m not here, you know what to do.  “Hi, Éme? This is...”

Ha! Too funny =) Did you get your hot tub yet?

getmygameon replied to your photoset “This is Éme. I’m not here, you know what to do.  “Hi, Éme? This is...”

Lol! I started this game last night. I might restart it though bc my initial video didn't record XD

Video?! I can barely take photos and you’re getting videos!?

getmygameon replied to your photoset “And all you wanted was somebody to care …  I went over to the EA...”

Is it bad I started humming the song the second i saw that line? XD

At least it isn’t “More Than Words?” XD

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “I now present to you … Éme Gaillard and Derek Solis … err, Adam...”

They need to include a gifting system because I ended up with two hot tubs and I'd gladly give you one. It took me a while to get the first, then I got a 2nd one right away. I'm hoping the next bag you open is a hot tub!!!

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “I now present to you … Éme Gaillard and Derek Solis … err, Adam...”

^^ seconding this. Gifting would be nice.

Between the hell raised over the hot tub event and the constant question “but y cant we SELL things??????”, I think the developers/coders are pretty aware that some things need to change. The Easter Egg Event was a step in the right direction, as was the in-game feedback survey. Hopefully things improve in future! 

ice-creamforbreakfast replied to your photoset “I now present to you … Éme Gaillard and Derek Solis … err, Adam...”

Somewhere in the world, @goatkibble​ is having a nosebleed at the thought of Adam in not only TS4 style, but TS4 Mobile style XD

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “A few more photos from the past two days. The wedding party was a...”

But "More Than Words" is the jam !!!

goatkibble replied to your photoset “A few more photos from the past two days. The wedding party was a...”

They are so consistent with their canon selves bahahaha

They really are! Even as elders, when not engaged with other people they’re very likely to be chasing each other around the house and canoodling. Eternal luff *sigh*

goatkibble replied to your photoset “Gah … little Rohan Gaillard is super-precious. (And super-expensive!...”

Sounds about right bahahaha

It wouldn’t be so bad that the baby/toddler stuff costs so much, except ... the game has a mechanism in place that regularly breaks items. If your items are more expensive, they cost more to repair, naturally. Baby items are VERY expensive compared to the starter items, so should the toddler bed break more than a couple of times in a day, along with everything else breaking in the house, that could be your daily salary down the drain ...

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “Another day, another $0.72 (after taxes). Éme and Adam are still crazy...”

Kristi's husband (Benjamin) also started a rivalry with Eme. I accidentally clicked the 'confrontational' introduction over the friendly once, and since then whenever he interacts with Eme (who is always hanging around my house) Eme is like 'Oh, it's you' in that tone. Cracks me up every time. Especially because Ben is kind of a health nut jock, I can see him and Eme not getting along at all.

Haha, I bet! I try to use the “rivalry” prompts sparingly, because as funny as I find it, part of me still feels very mean-spirited for it. I always wonder if the other person whose sim I’m arguing with is getting their feelings hurt :O

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “I’ve been down with a sinus infection for a few days, so I’ve been...”

Hahaha you went for the frenemies one.

justanothersimsblog replied to your photo “Yes, it’s SO nice to see you (:”

Lmao

They were SO close to being done, too! Maybe Shany can pick up the slack with Matteo. He seems the type to run around aggravating folks whenever possible :P

getmygameon replied to your photo “And here, we have a lovely specimen of the JacobTechrAugust.”

Lol ^^

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

My character just dropped by! Thanks for explaining the whole marriage to another player thing. I've just been making an extra person within my household for my sims to marry, because I wasn't sure how it all worked.

Just another thing that’s integral to the game’s mechanics that no one could be bothered to explain in advance -__-;;; It’s certainly not a thing you want to learn the hard way (like I did!).

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

Everett is a cutie! He was at my sims' party talking up with people and Shany befriended him.

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Yup, they’re still at it. After a solid two hours of insults, cursing,...”

Bahahaha. Meanwhile she started a BFF thing with Everett. It's going great! They wanted to make plans to hangs out or go to the movies or something like that.

D’awww, sounds just about right. Everett is terribly lovable. 

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

Sadly, Mayra got accidentally retired this morning =(. I am still heartbroken. But I did read somewhere about another player who married and moved in a friend's retired elder, which made them young again. So if Everett wants to give that a try with Mayra, you have my consent. Mayra has 3 star Good trait, and her hair is a level 34 unlock. Her dress is also a story unlock item, and she's still wearing her Izzy bracelet.

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

Also, just this morning, she bought a new eyeshadow and some shoes, so, lots of goodies with her if you can move her in.

I almost did :( Everett’s still sitting at a level 6 relationship with her, and if Kaydence hadn’t happened along, I would have taken the chance for sure. But it was just too heartbreaking to think that they might get all the way to a level 8 relationship and not be allowed to move forward, since the game is not actually coded to allow adults to continue their romantic relationships with elders. (I have heard that sims can divorce and re-marry at will though, so I may pursue that course momentarily if they reach level 8 and I see the “proposal” options.)

blythelyre replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

How do I visit?!

getmygameon replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

Lol!!!

getmygameon replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

@blythelyre look for parties. I didnt realize it was her sims til I saw the name lolol!

Just a heads-up, the next time I can throw a party will be this coming Tuesday/Wednesday if you wanna pop by. Save the date! :D

goatkibble replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

Ha! I just realised their son has Eme's face and Adam's eye shape! That is also canon! :D

Haha! Meant to be, even across mediums! :D

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Differences in parenting styles: Adam: “You are bestest baby, you...”

Omg yes! The money is ridiculous! The most you can earn is 450 (+whatever you get from an add) but the furnitures can cost 6k! My new kitchen must've costed 9k between all the expensive counters...and I've unlocked more expensive stuff since.

I didn’t realize immediately that items cost more as you buy more of them (what a charming idea, EA -____- ) so my plans for redecorating the kitchen went to hell within 20 minutes of starting. I remembered thinking, “Didn’t I have more money than this?” as I bought the countertops and finally realizing that the Sage Counters had increased from 300 to 690. It was a very ugly surprise. They still don’t have any cabinets.  Once Adam and Éme die off (;__;) the kids will be free to work constantly and earn dough, so that they can buy those §2500 dresses and garbage hairstyles. At least those won’t break. -__-;;’

reverieinsimlish replied to your photoset “Everett, your father and I have been to the hospital to find out why...”

I have the opposite problem, in that I have had 4 girls and only 1 boy.

Alas! I’d still trade with you, though. The family is up to boy number 4, and from what I’ve read in the accounts from others, they’re likely to keep on having boys until they hit 7 or 8!

blythelyre replied to your photo “NO SIR NEVER YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED *starts kicking and screaming...”

Noooo

blythelyre replied to your photo “NO SIR NEVER YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED *starts kicking and screaming...”

Emma and Gracie need mates!!!!

Make sure you come to the party, then! At the rate I’m going, Brooks Gaillard should be all grown up by then and one of your ladies can take him home! :D

curmudgeonness replied to your photo “NO SIR NEVER YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED *starts kicking and screaming...”

I don't know how people can get attached to their pixel people - says the one who has 36+ variations of simself in one neighborhood and won't let any of his legacy sims die... *hugs*

Put it like this ... you’ll never see a version of Rosalind Frio in this game ;)

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “*sighs* Well, I managed to screw myself royally today. I finally...”

That almost happened to me a bunch of times. I swear the developers did this on purpose.

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “*sighs* Well, I managed to screw myself royally today. I finally...”

I HAATE the retirement prompt

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “*sighs* Well, I managed to screw myself royally today. I finally...”

I feel your pain. that retirement pop up is the worst.

I was able to avoid it for quite some time, because I was aware that it was coming for Éme. But I wasn’t expecting it for Adam, so I just reached for a button in the middle of an event and bloop! All progress lost. And yes, I also suspect it’s done that way intentionally. There’s no other explanation for why traits/retirement seem to be two of maybe four actions total in the entire game that there’s no way to cancel once initiated. *scowls*

[islooblog]

How to Monetize a Blog: 12 Easy Ways for 2020

Did you know that with just a few hundred dollars, you can start making money with your blog? Yes, you can get an adequate income stream to even quit your 9-5 job, and become your own boss. But is it that easy to go from being a new blogger to one of the pro bloggers and make money on a monthly basis? Truth be told… It takes time to get a passive income from blogging. No matter what stories you’ve read – no real success ever happened overnight. You have to be patient and do really hard work. And in this article, I want to guide you on how you can start monetizing your own blog. It would be best if you had a solid marketing plan, a great monetization strategy that will help you make money blogging. But, let’s first see when it is the right time to start monetizing a blog:

Here’s What We’re Covering:

Patience is the key #1: Online Courses #2: Affiliate Marketing #3: Virtual Summit #4: Memberships #5: Email Marketing #6: Coaching Services #7: Google AdSense & Ad Networks #8: eBooks #9: Digital Products #10: Physical Products (Merch) #11: Banner Ads #12: Sponsored Posts You can now start monetizing your blog!        

Patience is the key

No doubt. Before you start making money through your blog, you will have to learn how to maintain it, how to write and create great content, how to get more visitors, and build engagement with the readers that come. When you achieve a high level of engagement, it is an excellent point to attempt to make money. It is a common assumption that when your blog traffic starts to get over 10,000 monthly pageviews, then yes – it’s relatively easy to create a gentle revenue stream with it. However, you always need to be aware that the money won’t just automatically flow. It takes continuous work and experimentation. So without further ado, I want to share with you now 12 monetization methods successful bloggers follow:

#1: Online Courses

Image source: Pexels Creating an online course is a great way to start monetizing your blog and upgrade your blogging career. And you don’t need to be an influencer and have many leads to make a decent income from your courses. And if you wonder if online courses are profitable: The e-learning industry is expected to grow to about $406 billion by 2024! With an online course, you deliver your best content exclusively to customers. All you need to teach a course is to know more than the people you’re teaching. And what’s more interesting about it is that with the right platform, it is straightforward and time-saving to create educational material in the structure of a course. How can I come up with a great course idea? Online courses are focused on a specific subject or topic. To find the best subject, you have to find out exactly what your visitors want. If you already have an audience, then you need to identify a problem that a lot of them share that you can solve. Here are some ways to do that: Send a survey: Ask your audience about the issues they have. You can do this by sending a simple survey through email. Read blog comments: You can either read feedback from your blog or other blogs and identify problems in your niche. Directly ask your audience: Reach out to social media, email or write a blog post asking for feedback directly from your audience. How can I create an online course? To create an online course, you will need to first create the content and then find a course platform to host, sell and deliver it. For your course content, you can use literally any kind of material you have already created (ebooks, webinars, videos, podcasts, etc.) and turn it into educational material. Don’t forget to add a high level of interactivity in your courses, so that students feel they are actively engaged. This is exactly what we do here at LearnWorlds, we offer the learning platform to easily create, market and sell your online courses, all in one place.  Feel free to check out our website and sign up for a 30-day (no commitment) free trial.

Way #2: Affiliate Marketing

Image Source: LearnWorlds Affiliate marketing is an online strategy that involves promoting a vendor’s product in exchange for a commission. It works that simple as this: You make a business arrangement with a third-party business or an individual to promote their product through content marketing. The vendor pays you a commission in exchange for business leads or sales generated from your promotional efforts and direct referrals. As an affiliate marketer, you will work the same way as most salespeople. It starts by finding an exciting product that you like, making an effort to piggyback on a great product, and, in the end, earning a piece of the profit for each successful sale (Referral commission). It is not a good idea to just pitch products with affiliate links to make sales. Instead, you should provide value to your readers and not just pitching products so you can make a sale. Where can I find those products? You can find products to promote from affiliate networks such as: Also, many companies offer direct affiliate programs, so you deal directly with the business that sells products or services that you are planning to promote. You have to go to Google and use the following query: “ affiliate program.” Ask for an affiliate offer and make sure their products/services fit your niche. An alternative way is to check what affiliate products other blogs in your niche are promoting, and reach out to those businesses yourself. Also – why not – you can become an affiliate for anything you have paid for and used on your blog! Many bloggers already do this with a ‘best resources’, ‘suggested tools’, ‘income pages’ or software lists as part of their main blog pages.

Way #3: Virtual Summit

Virtual summits are essentially conferences you can attend online with a host, Q&A sessions, and multiple speakers covering a specific topic. You’ve probably attended a virtual summit before. The main distinction between virtual summits and webinars is that the later ones are a lot more interactive and engaging. You can find Virtual summits for almost any niche you can think of. And you can also drive traffic through them. The excellent idea is to teach entrepreneurs how to launch and grow a successful blog as you do until now! The best part is, you don’t need to be a well-known blogger to host one. You can interview other influencers in your niche to pull credibility. It is easy to find influencers you can connect with by using Buzzsumo. In Buzzsumo’s homepage, you can type in your niche keyword and find an influencer in your niche. Reaching out to them immediately and asking them to speak at your summit, rarely works. Prefer to build a relationship with them first by following them on social media and making guest posts on their blog. How can I make money with a virtual summit? Virtual summits are accessible for a limited period, although they usually are free to access. Therefore, you can make money by selling an “all-access pass” that allows attendees to go over the conference material anytime they want. Or, you can keep VIP sessions for paid members only which will be more in-depth or act like a small group coaching.

Way #4: Memberships

A membership site is a closed section of your online business. Members have to subscribe either monthly or annually to receive exclusive benefits: Exclusive articles, advice, reports, webinars, in-person meetups, and just being around like-minded people. Membership sites allow you to reach more people and also give everyone a sense of community and belonging. Creating a membership site might be the most profitable thing you can do if you have an audience that’s dedicated and already spend money to improve their skills. You can quickly start making thousands of dollars, with only a few hundred members. A great example on membership sites is SmartBlogger with its Serious Bloggers program. You can find more examples of membership sites here.

Way #5: Email Marketing

What about my email list? Yes, you can also use that to make money blogging! No matter, the amount of traffic, you always keep in the archive all emails you received from the beginning. Building an email list is a fundamental thing to do before you start monetizing your blog. And what you can do with these emails is to build a stable relationship. A relationship is the easiest way to establish trust and sell a product. It all begins with creating awareness about your primary business and then gradually deliver immense value in every phase. First, understand this: It is ok to sell to your readers as long as that product is valuable. However, you must forget about your own products in the first place and build a trustworthy relationship with them. That’s where the funnel comes in. You should nurture potential customers through content: your blog posts, videos, infographics, ebooks, and so on. And through your emails, you can ask them exactly what they are struggling with and then, create high-value content for them. See for example, Matthew Hussey. He is a life coach who helps people get the most out of life and also find real love. What he does once you subscribe to his newsletter is send a series of compassionate emails on what relationship problems people are facing. This is how he creates value in people’s minds. And then, what he does is gradually provide several free resources with advice and mini-coaching that at some point solve a problem. But for the real stuff (books, coaching, events), you have to pay something in exchange. This is where sales come. The important thing is that till this stage, he has created the need for you to buy his services.

Image Source: 6 Magical Days. A Lifetime of Change An email list can be used to: Sell products Sell services Affiliate marketing Get paid for sponsored emails

Way #6: Coaching Services

Inevitably, your readers will have challenges in life. As a coach, your responsibility will be to help people manage them. One on one coaching help people receive more detailed and personalized instructions than a book or course can provide. They want to learn new skills and improve in certain areas. So, coaching is another great way to start making money. And you will have the pleasure to guide people step by step to ascertain certain skills. No matter when you started blogging, offering a coaching service to motivated clients can bring you money. And it’s more about getting the right kind of traffic, i.e., people that need your coaching advice and can afford to pay you than just getting a lot of traffic. How to pave the way for coaching Before you rush in and start offering coaching services, first and foremost, create useful and exciting quality content, as we mentioned before, on subjects that matter to those prospects. And having a strong reason “why” people should prefer you instead of your competitors will give you a decisive edge. See, for example, Elna Cain. She is an experienced freelance blogger who also offers coaching services on freelance writing business:

Image Source: elnacain.com What she presents looks so professional and specialized, that people immediately receive her as a determined coach who can and is going to solve all their problems.

Way #7: Google AdSense & Ad Networks

There’s a reason ads are still popular despite people saying it’s a bad monetization strategy because you can’t make anything decent with it. In fact, you can start with display ads until you are ready for more profitable monetization strategies. Those first few dollars will give you enough motivation to continue with the blog. The biggest ad network is Google’s Adsense. It lets you make money by placing targeted ads on your website or blog. And the best thing is…You get paid per click (PPC) when visitors click on the ads. And you don’t really have to invest any money or work into it. Adsense serves relevant advertisements on your blog and pay you every time someone clicks on the ad. There are many alternatives to Adsense you could use to monetize your blog. Display ads from these networks are one of the most common monetization methods for bloggers, and usually how most begin, as they are quite easy to setup and start making money. Each network has their own requirements and niches, you will need to do some research before deciding which one to join, if you are unsure, Google Adsense is the best way to start!

Way #8: eBooks

Image source: Pexels One of the most popular ways to monetize a blog is selling ebooks. And you don’t need a lot of traffic on your blog to make money with your books. It’s perfect because it’s relatively easy to create and is usually priced adequately enough that most visitors can buy. Want to make money writing short ebooks? You can start with your best blog posts. You can repurpose some of the content you’ve already written on your blog and then add more detail and context or hire ghostwriters to do it for you. You can write ebooks in any niche. There are ebooks on blogging, photography, weight loss, and anything you can think of. You can promote your books in several ways: Cold email businesses to solve problems and gradually link to your book. Answer questions on Quora and Reddit and then pitch your book as an additional source of information. Ask your audience about the problems they have in your niche and point them to your book. Add your book on Product Hunt. What’s more, you can publish those products on Amazon. Amazon attracts millions of buyers. And you already know that Amazon is a trusted online shopping site and you can make a great business on Amazon. An ebook will show you if people are interested in what you’re covering enough to pay for it. Then, you can use this inspiration and create a profitable course or a membership site! So, ebooks are a low-risk way for visitors to judge the value you can bring before buying more expensive products.

Way #9: Digital Products

Virtual goods include many of the products we have already mentioned like eBooks and courses, and also others, like: Reports Digital downloads (PDFs) Templates and themes (e.g., Lightroom and Photoshop templates) Audio recordings Tutorials Podcasts Other info products You can read more products in “20 digital products to sell online” by Will Mitchell. There are two approaches you can take to sell your digital products online: Sell directly on your website or Sell through established marketplaces.

Way #10: Physical Products (Merch)

You only know so well the people who follow your blog and already trust you. Aside from digital products, you can look into selling real goods through your blog, such as t-shirts, posters, etc. to sell. To start selling, you will have some expenses, and you need to invest some time: Manufacturing, packaging, shipping, and storing. Of course, an easier way to start a product store is dropshipping. Finding the right product to sell might be a little tricky at first, but you will get better the more you do it. But, physical products can give you an incredible and unique advantage over all your digital product producing peers. Physical products generally have a high perceived value. There can be an actual value placed. You can do demonstrations with a physical product and customers can touch it and feel it. They can see how it works, what it does, and how it will benefit their life. You can find physical products that can correspond with digital products (e.g., your courses).

Way #11: Banner Ads

Image Source: Instapage A banner ad is a form of digital advertising embedded onto a webpage to send traffic to the advertiser’s website. As I mentioned before, I don’t think banner ads are dead. Some significant advancements have happened in the banner ad arena since they aroused, allowing you to get paid per click. The average click-through rate on a typical banner ad is 0.04%. This engagement can seem low, but if ROI is positive, it’s still an advertising success! Think that TV spots have just a 0.05 percent response rate. Also, there have been considerable improvements in types of display ads available to marketers and advertisers. You should only make sure you use the right banner ad strategy. We have talked before about ad networks, selling banners ads yourself might be more challenging but more profitable, especially for blogs with high niche traffic. So, if you want to add banners in your blog, make sure you: Prepare a media kit. Incorporate branding and messaging that is clear. Are concise in content and imagery. It is a best practice of banner ads to keep your content brief. Include a call-to-action (CTA). A CTA is often a button with a compelling text of what will happen when the user clicks on it. Keep banner ads consistent in all of your pages and social media. Last, but not least, sponsored posts! With sponsored posts and reviews, you can charge a company a fee to write about their product on your blog and give your opinion of it. What the company gains is that its product gets exposed to the blogger’s audience, and the brand gets more exposure and new customers. It is one of the least common ways of monetizing a blog. You will need to have a lot of traffic and credibility or be an established blogger in a very niche subject . You will also need to have a substantial online presence before you can get companies to pay you anything significant. Think of influencers you know on Instagram and Youtube. Influencer marketing has already experienced tremendous growth. When using sponsored posts on your blog, make sure to give your honest feedback about a product because it’s not worth losing the trust of your readers for a few bucks.

You can now start monetizing your blog!

Having analyzed all those techniques, I want to take things from the beginning a little bit… You have successfully built your blog. With a sustained focus upon creating great content, you will begin to notice new people visiting your blog and engaging with your content and not just your core audience. At this point, you need to switch your focus to building community with those readers: Respond to comments Reach out to those readers personally Work on your authority Establish partnerships and collaborate with others in your industry Keep them coming back again and again by building a “sticky blog” as Darren Rowse – the blogging legend – once said. You may also need a successful Business Development team. And once you have stuck your audience to your blog, this is the time your monetization strategies will work best:

Image Source: LearnWorlds There’s no doubt that what we’ve covered is a lot of work and requires a lot of time. However, if you do it well, you’ll be giving yourself every chance of becoming one of those niche websites and earn a full-time income!

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[blschaos3000-blog]

Its 5:17 pm

  Welcome to “8 Questions with…..”

I recently was approached by a producer named Chris Morrisey about talking with our next guest Emmanuel Osorio,a 19 year old film director who is prepping his first film for release. Now normally interviewing a artist with no track record is a high risk because there isn’t anything the public can actually see for themselves. But as anyone who knows me either through my blog or in real life can tell you,I love to find new voices no matter where they may come from. Giving a young man like Emmaunel a platform to share his story is no different from giving a band their first show or in my own case,sharing my first film review. We all have to start with step one,right? Besides,I could sense that same excitement I feel when I was talking with Chris,he has found a talented director and smart young man in Emmaunel Osorio and believes he is destined for big things….and my gut is telling me that Chris is right. With that in mind..let’s go ask Emmanuel his 8 Questions……

    Please introduce yourself and tell us about your current project.

    My name is Emmanuel Osorio and I am a 19 year old Latino filmmaker, writer, actor, producer and film buff. I was born and raised in the amazing city of Los Angeles and I am currently working on my first feature film titled “BLASÉ L.A.”   Blasé L.A. is a semi-autobiographical time capsule of Los Angeles that follows a group of young millennials growing up in this fame and selfie obsessed city. Prior to Blasé L.A., I had a huge interest in photography and visual art. I have photographed everything from editorial fashion shoots to landscapes and everything in between. I also have directed and acted in several plays prior to jumping into filmmaking. It felt like a natural transition to combine the best of both worlds and explore what comes out of it. 

While you’re only 19, Los Angeles has a way of making folks grow up a bit faster. What three impressions has growing up in Los Angeles left on you?

     Growing up in the city of Los Angeles has very much shaped me to be the person I am today. Hollywood and the entertainment industry made a huge impression on me early on, it is hard not to be dazzled by the glitz and glamour of it all. I always enjoyed reading books and watching movies as a child but I didn’t always have time or access to it because I was busy with school work. My mother always pushed me to attempt new things to the best of my ability. She constantly placed me in environments that I would learn from. When I was able to, I would focus on music, dance, art, acting, and sports. At a very young age, I was hand selected from a group of children to participate in an all-paid dance scholarship in Downtown L.A. While doing that, I started to notice that opportunities for success can be found anywhere if you are determined and willing to put in the effort, so I tend to strive for perfection as much as possible in anything I do. 

   I feel that L.A. is so diverse with many different cultures and that made a great impression on me as well. Most of the people I met growing up moved here from somewhere else to pursue their dreams in the entertainment industry. I feel that I learned a lot from just hearing people’s various stories about life before arriving to L.A. and I got to witness the ups and downs and see how much dedication is involved if you want to become successful in any type of career.  I decided early on that when I finished high school I would focus on making my goals a reality. This city offers so many opportunities and there is room for everyone to succeed. 

   After high school, I got a scholarship to a college 60 miles outside of Los Angeles and my family highly encouraged me to accept it. I was torn because this college is in a very secluded location and I knew it would isolate me being so far away from L.A. While there, I felt very sheltered and continued to work on writing and photography as a creative outlet. It was easy to get distracted because the other students there didn’t have many career goals and were just attending classes on auto-pilot. There was a cabin fever vibe with everyone being stuck on the campus with nowhere to go, so the kids were all about partying at night and oversleeping the next day, then showing up late to classes — not caring if you completed the assignments or received good grades. It, unfortunately, was a toxic environment and I realized that if I stayed there, I would never be able to focus on achieving my dreams. I needed to take a leave and come back to L.A. On the bright side, the college party lifestyle experience gave me a lot of material to put into my script. I was able to make lemonade out of lemons, so to speak.   

What led you into making your own films? 

   I always have been fascinated by movies and the stories people tell visually. In my early teens, I began to discover a lot of classic Hollywood films and game changing movies by directors like Stanley Kubrick, Quentin Tarantino, Francis Ford Coppola, Guillermo Del Toro, Alfred Hitchcock, Steven Spielberg and Robert Rodriguez. Watching their films inspired so many ideas of my own, I decided that I want to do what they do. These filmmakers have opened up a whole new creative space for me to play in and I am loving every minute of it!

I read the synopsis for your film,do you feel your generation is shallow and materialistic? Is film one of the last things that will bring people together for a face to face interaction?

    I do notice people of all ages with those traits but it’s all because of smart-phones and advanced technology. I feel that going to the cinema is one of the only places right now where you have to shut your phone off for two hours and focus on something other than social media. I think it is great that a lot of movie theaters are very strict about making sure nobody can interrupt a film.  During High School and my short time in college, I felt a lot of the kids there were all about social status and there is a huge obsession with the internet and how many “likes” and comments you get on your social media photo posts. At times, It all seemed like a competition. I love that technology has evolved and that we have access to use these tools to our advantage, but I remember recently sitting at a restaurant with a group of friends and some of us were texting each other even though we were sitting directly across one another at the table. The minute the food was served, everyone whipped out their phones and took photos of the food for their instagram feeds. Times like that make me feel like my generation can be superficial and shallow. Going to a movie theater with a group of friends and then talking with each other about the film after it ends feels special. I appreciate that outlets such as Netflix and Hulu exist and people have more access to discover films, but I truly hope people continue to keep movie theaters in business by taking the time to escape and experience the stories we dream up and create for everyone. I want my films to be seen on the big screen in dark cinema. If someone watches on their cell phone or laptop there are too many distractions and you don’t get the full experience. 

What are three things that surprised you the most in directing a film for the first time?

    The first thing that surprised me was how easy things started to come together once the script was completed and I started to map out how to turn this all into a reality. I was able to get great feedback and suggestions from people I met in the industry through networking. They happily gave me great advice just by politely asking a lot of questions.

   Another thing that surprised me was how comfortable I was at solving problems by finding creative solutions. Instead of being stressed or disappointed if we lost a certain location or couldn’t get a brand we specially wanted for a scene, I was able to tap into my creativity as a writer and tweak the script or dialog to make things work and still be satisfied with the changes.   

   I also wrote the main character in the film for myself to perform as an actor since the storyline is semi-autobiographical. I think it was surprising was how challenging, yet rewarding it was to direct myself and rely on my crew and producers to guide me through it. There was a huge  trust involved and I couldn’t have an ego or be too self conscious when we filmed the scenes I was in. 

How did you go about gathering the resources and money for your project? Why would investors gamble on a newcomer? How did you pitch your film?

     That was a big challenge in the beginning and very intimidating while writing my script. I asked a lot of other filmmakers what avenues they took to raise money or find investors. Most of them suggested crowdfunding or making a short film as a calling card to show to film studios and possible investors. I was lucky enough to meet my producers through networking at film screenings and various film events. Everyone I met told me they were impressed that I have such a drive and determination at such a young age. One producer said I should just be daring and make the full film and skip making a short. This producer introduced me to other people he knew in the industry that he felt would connect with the storyline and overall vibe of the project. Things clicked and came together and I was lucky enough that people believed in me and the project and decided to take a chance on me. Things came together very quickly which was a little overwhelming, but it all felt right and as if it was meant to be,  so I am even more determined now to make sure this film is a huge success. I truly want to have a long term career in this industry and continue making films for years to come so I am willing to invest in myself and work as hard as possible to achieve my goals. 

What three directors working today do you admire most and why?

      Quentin Tarantino is a huge inspiration to me! I regularly go to see films at his movie theater, the New Beverly Cinema,  to discover many classic films I didn’t have a chance to see growing up. I feel like his career and the success of his films have paved the way for people like me by proving that anything is possible. Guillermo Del Toro also inspires me. He is so humble and I recently attended the unveiling presentation of his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It made me think that one day I might be able to have my own star as well. Robert Rodriguez is another huge inspiration. I read his book Rebel Without a Crew early on and it gave me so much confidence to take chances. His motto is No risk, No gain.  

What kind of films do you want to make? Do you feel the bigger the budget the less creative freedom you lose?

    I want to make films that open doors for other people and inspire others to follow my footsteps. If I can do it than anybody else can if you put in the hard work. I want to tell compelling diverse cultural stories and come up with original ideas that Hollywood hasn’t showcased yet. I want to have creative freedom at any budget. I feel like if you stay true to your creative vision you can tell stories with any size budget. I hope to continue to surround myself with people who believe in me and believe in my art to be able to do this for as long as possible because I love it!

What is next for for you after this film?

    BLASÉ L.A, is currently in post production and should be ready to premiere in early 2020. Cannes Film Festival is a big goal. I would like to tour the film in as many cities and countries as I can. I want it to be seen in as many theaters as possible. I have some other scripts I am starting to write but my main goal right now is to present BLASÉ L.A. to the world. I definitely have a follow-up film in mind but I think it will all come together once this film is released. 

The cheetah and I flying to watch your latest film project but we are a day early and you are playing tour guide,what are we doing?

    The great thing about L.A. is that there are so many different things to do within a short drive (as long as you don’t run into too much traffic). L.A. is a place where you can go to the beach in the morning then drive two hours to the mountains and play in the snow. It is a melting pot of so many different cultures and amazing mini cities. You can go to downtown LA and feel like you are in New York, then head over to the beach and soak up the artistic hippie vibe of Venice Beach. You can get a gourmet latte and window shop at all the posh designer stores in Beverly Hills then head to Disneyland and be a kid again. There is a place to basically fit every mood. There are so many famous landmarks and historic places that all can be seen in just a few hours. Hollywood Boulevard is a must if you are into anything movie related. I love this city and my film BLASÉ L.A is also a loving tribute to it.

    I like to thank both Emmanuel for the interview and Chris for helping secure it.We will be looking forward to seeing “BLASE L.A.” in 2020 and reviewing it as well We wish nothing but the best for Emmanuel….

You can follow Emmanuel a couple of different ways:

You can follow him on his very busy InstaGram page. You can also see whats coming next via his IMDb page.

Its been an incredible time as of late with all these interviews but don’t worry,the cheetah and I are still reviewing films/TV shows as well and have some great films coming up.

Feel free to drop a comment below and thank you for your support! 8 Questions with………film director/writer Emmanuel Osorio Its 5:17 pm Welcome to "8 Questions with....." I recently was approached by a producer named Chris Morrisey about talking with our next guest Emmanuel Osorio,a 19 year old film director who is prepping his first film for release.