#i love what i do i just hate the fucking company
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So every year my company has a huge conference where we all come together and go to different presentations and stuff. That’s the boring part. The FUN part is getting to talk to everyone and drink and party and listen to the higher ups talk about their experiences which always ends up being super inspirational.
Long story short they had a discussion about like. Taking chances and getting involved in things you want to be involved in even if it means changing positions in the company. And y’all know how much I fucking HATE my current job lol and while I have been searching for work outside of this company I haven’t had much luck (very competitive field + not a lot of open jobs that suit my experience + half the jobs in my field getting taken over by AI, etc etc). But!! While it’s not EXACTLY what I want to do with my life there is a position in this company that definitely has a more creative and artistic side. And that’s marketing. And there’s one (1) guy handling marketing for our entire company and he offhandedly mentioned to me a few weeks back about how he’s looking for help—and he went straight to me in particular bc he knows I have a background in art and design and stuff like that.
So being ✨ inspired ✨ by the conference I stepped wayyyy outside my comfort zone and worked up the nerve to tell him hey I’m interested in what you do and I know you mentioned you might need help and I’d frankly love to help. And he was SUPER excited lol I mean we’ve been friends for a while and he’s literally the friendliest and most extroverted person I’ve ever met. Things are already moving so quickly lmao he’s talked to my boss and his boss about getting me into marketing so I’ll be able to do things like. Photography! And video editing! And web design! And swag design! And lots of creative things!! And I’m very excited!! Bc I’ve felt so fucking stifled at my current job bc it’s just. Very opposite of a creative type job and while I do appreciate my teammates I just. Don’t want to be there anymore.
So I saw the opportunity and I was like. Clearly looking for other jobs is not working rn so you know, maybe marketing isn’t something I want to do forever, but it’ll at least give me more experience in my field if I do end up finding a job elsewhere. You know? And if I do this I won’t be absolutely miserable every single day doing something I don’t care about and don’t love doing. So.
Anyway long story short I might be getting a new position soon and I’m VERY excited and jazzed and grateful to finally get to have a job that I’ll actually enjoy doing. And I wanted to share. :))))
#AND I can negotiate a better salary bc they’re paying me like shit right now lmao#I’m excited. I’m very excited#And I could tell that our marketing guy was super hyped when I mentioned wanting to help I think he’s been wanting to steal me for a while#😂😂😂#My mom was very proud of me for speaking up too#It’s very hard for me to do things like this. I’m super introverted and talking to people is difficult#Let alone being like hey. I want to work for you. Putting myself out there is NOT easy#And my boss was proud of me too#AAAA. AAGFHDHFH. I’M SO#I’m very jittery 😂#But very happy. Eeee!!#Shima speaks#Finally getting to do fun stuff that I like doing. You know?#Long post
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RE your tags on the bromance thing - I think I allowed myself to get a little panicky earlier when seeing a few people talk about there potentially being more, and whilst there are a few points made that I can understand, I do feel like the amount of worry I’m seeing it maybe a little preemptive?
Like, I do agree that it feels stupid to put TayNew in a bromance series; if they wanted two actors that are close & have worked together before, why not Tay and Off or New and Gun or something? BUT I did see that Tay and New actually wanted to do a bromance series together, so there’s part of me thinking that this was THEIR choice to do this series and not give it to some other actors. (And let’s be fair, I don’t think there’s anyone else who could have made this show so warm, angsty, and lovely.)
I feel like GMMTV has really been embracing their BLs a bit more if I’m honest, and sure, they do queer baiting in their non-queer shows, but who doesn’t? You can watch anything on Netflix or whatever and find ‘bromances’ that are severe queer baiting.
I kinda feel like sometimes people pile on GMMTV a bit much, all because they’re kinda like the biggest company in the drama community that does decent queer dramas? I don’t know if that’s just me being blind to their flaws, but I sometimes think they get a little more hate than other production companies and not always deservedly? (I mean I know they aren’t perfect and I call out their bullshit myself, but I feel like sometimes it’s ‘cool’ to hate on them?)
Sorry if none of this makes sense and I’m rambling - it’s almost 2am and I really need to sleep 🤣
In my opinion, these claims that GMMTV is going to pivot to bromances because they’re less gay and more profitable are absolutely baseless. Bromances are not new to GMMTV. They’re not even new to TayNew as I believe I’m Tee, Me Too was a bromance as well. Like you said, P’Dome explicitly stated that TayNew wanted to film a show together that was not a BL. Should they not be able to? And weren’t these same people complaining just days ago that CPs are never allowed to act outside of their CP? Now, they’re mad when they do.
What people are losing their marbles over is literally just the cast and crew having a good time with the fans. Did they play into the shipping aspect both onscreen and off? Of course they did! What writer worth their salt would have passed up such a perfect opportunity? But to me, it didn’t feel malicious. It felt like P’Dome was just having fun and giving Polcas a little nod. I almost feel like it would have been more strange if he hadn’t.
People certainly don’t have to like bromances, but it’s like We Are all over again where people were saying its very existence was indicative of the fall of the genre as we know it. And that’s just utterly ridiculous. This isn’t a queer story where the queerness was censored. In fact, there were explicit queer themes throughout. This is just a platonic love story and a lot of people who may not be interested in romantic relationships have found immense value in that.
Like I said in my tags, P’Aof is the Director of Content Production at GMMTV, meaning he is literally the one in charge of what content is being produced, and I’m choosing to trust the gay Thai man who has dedicated his career to this. He has such a passion for telling queer stories. Why would he stop now?
But like you said, it’s become hip to hate on GMMTV. And look, I don’t like corporations either, but let’s not pretend like GMMTV isn’t really fucking gay. Because they are. This is not a company that has ever shied away from explicitly queer content and is actually making more of it than ever before, so I’m not going to fault them for adding a few shows for the straights too. And if they have to make het stuff, I would much rather sit through a bromance than anything else.
I mean Jesus Christ. Peaceful Property was fun. I had fun. And it was also really good—easily my favorite offering from GMMTV all year—so if they want to make a hundred more bromances just like this, I’m certainly not going to complain about it. Some people just don’t want to enjoy anything.
(And go to sleep, Pip! It’s late 😂)
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#i am once again stressed about my job :D#i love what i do i just hate the fucking company#and i want to quit but what if i can’t find another job later#i just hate that i can’t even ask for just one day off with a month in advance without them making it a whole thing#anyways#solcito talks shit#thats my new ranting tag#and yes its 5am and i haven’t slept yet
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Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one
#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded#while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw#i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that#shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth#with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying#child death with . what the fuck#and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory#lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment#etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord#and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite#how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again#christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are#jay rambles
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i've been considering resuming job hunting again but i think I'm still, like, traumatized from what i went through in 2021 lmao
#i keep getting in this cycle of 'well my current job lets me do pretty much whatever i want bc they trust me to get shit done'#(which honestly is really nice bc i am neither a team player nor a leader and i like being left alone lmao)#and 'my current job is otherwise unfulfilling in every way possible also it's for an awful company I'm ethically opposed to and i want out'#and my salary is garbage#esp as someone with 12 years of experience#and they dont even do cost of living adjustments#in theory they will give you a raise if you go above and beyond but i did that for a year and just got a thank you#which i dont need your fucking gratitude i need more money#but god i just cant do interviews anymore#i used to be such a good BSer in interviews#and now i just... cant lmao#so many places are all into the 'be your authentic self' shit these days#my authentic self is not employable lmao#and then i think about pursuing my creative passions for income and I'm like nooo i dont wanna do that either#bc that will make me hate what i love#i am so protective of my hobbies just being hobbies#idk whatever!!!!#t: wench.txt
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I have the app for our store bc I get my meds through work on my phone and they announce every fucking sale like "$8,000 in SAVINGS!" and show every fucking item and every time I get that push notification I go "you shut your whore mouth and stop telling them ab that" gsgsgdgdg
Then I scour the online ad to make sure I don't have a gazillion sale items on there. Got lucky this time 😏 there's like just baby shit listed and it's two items, I don't even think they're on sale, just like "look what you can buy!" But still shut up stop telling people we have sales 😭 go away
#marquilla#i know why they market it the way they do and if i was just a customer i could see being like oh well let me look and see!#but i HATE sales items so so much bc then i run out of popular sizes and people get mad and ask if we have more and it's like shop online#then idk what to fucking tell you the company only sent us like two size 7s per box and other people have size 7 kids go the fuck away 😭#in the pjs they always short me size 7 and it drives me insane bc ill get like 5 size 8s per box that no one wants and a million size 2s but#god forbid they give me enough 4s or 7s 🙄 and they're UGLY whdgdgdggdg like the winter boy ones are in and so so ugly#or like Leevies (i fuck up the brand names to not get corp attention sggdggd im paranoid okay plus its funny like Sharter's) only sends me#a small handful of size 8s and 16s and ofc those are the most popular and a million size 6 and 7s (lol)#like fuckers give me equal amounts per size ya fuck heads#oh and dont get me started on the toddler shit that goes to size 5. they always give like ONE size 5 per goddamn box. ONE! assholes#anyways im just glad i dont have any items on sale bc im in clearance hell rn and ive had enough of 'A SALE?! I MUST DESTROY THIS TABLE!'#fuckers like look with your eyes not with your hands and for the love of fucking god stop opening shit
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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ok but genuinely why is Literally Everyone I Know just perfectly okay with the complete degradation of quality of like basically EVERY product you can find anywhere like i literally cannot find a bookshelf at all currently because they're literally not made well enough to hold ACTUAL BOOKS
#like every single bookshelf i have found made within the last few years i can't even put half a shelf of books on it without it bending#My bookshelf CRACKS if i put my bigger books on it#like. i really fucking like big old books. i fucking LOVE looking at them#i have like three old dictionaries and a set of encyclopedias and a Shakespeare collection and now a Lovecraft collection#and i literally just do not have any sturdy place to put them at all???? they're on the floor in my closet???#i cannot find anywhere that sells furniture that isn't made of particle board i fucking hate it#literally everything is either walmart quality or too fucking old and heavy to move like where is the normal fucking furniture#what happened to product reviews and shit. what happened to consumers having literally any input into products#nobody tells these companies they fucking suck and need to get their shit together
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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#personal#why do i feel like no matter what i do im failing#got a new job at a good company? heres a bill for $3k with your new insurance#stayed after dnd to hang out with your brother? missed a call from your boyfriend and hes upset#play with your dog? so many fucking bites#cant something just work out#please#i feel like such a piece of shit all the time#i make promises to be better and just. dont.#why would anyone want to be around me if i cant be a decent fucking person#text people back? nah. be more loving? nah. check out completely and leave the burden to your boyfriend? yeah absolutely#i fucking hate myself#i hate this lazy piece of shit that i am and i hate how i make other people feel#im so so fucking tired
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i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex
#personal#fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm#ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot#after she was complaining about how mean we are to her#which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day#and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look#frumpy when we get dinner#and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what#5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ?#and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my#brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company#and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home#me#and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway#but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain#and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you#and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it#anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen
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Okay as a Swiftie I do find this funny, tho since someone literally said the words to me "isn't taylor swift the number one contributor to global emissions?" I feel the need to make it clear on such a post that no. No, she very much is not.
#emissions from flights globally including commercial airlines is like 2%#and she is included among that 2% with many others#like maybe it'd be better to criticize the overall accepted norm of private jets than to focus on one specific person#so all the other celebs and rich people can just do their thing and rest assured she'll take all the heat#also... do yall really want taylor swift on a commercial flight. she cant even walk into a restaurant without getting swarmed#she is working with what she's got considering the situation she's in#she cannot travel like a normal person because she cannot live like a normal person#because normal people dont run the risk of being mobbed if they get recognized#you can critique the whole idea of celebrity and how the music industry runs tours and such#but it's disingenuous to act like she's an outlier in this arena#the only outlier is how fixated people get on her#both loving and hating her#on both sides of the aisle people just get so fucking obsessed that their Taylor Vision blurs out everything that's actually important#which btw fun fact i learned today:#most climate reporting nowadays is sponsered by oil companies#so im just gonna go bury myself in the sand until the oily water erodes me into nothing but more grains of that sand#anyway even if taylor swift disappeared forever and never existed our planet would still be burning
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bro
#i hate job apps lmao kinda in the trenches rn#i'm so idk so mixed feelings rn 💀#i think my self esteem when it comes to job apps is like fucking shot from career fair and job rejections and everything#my last interview was offered like a couple days before the interview and i just winged it and didn't rly prepare#and then after the interview realized i actually kinda like the company and would kinda wnat the job more than my lack of prep suggests LOL#but i applied for smth over the summer and they said they'd actually be interested in giving me an offer#but i committed to staying on campus for this yr (which i could've done stuff to get out of but i have dumb reasons for it ig)#but they just reached out and said they'd STILL be interested in offering me a job for summer 2025 start date#and it makes me fucking sad that i feel so weird abt it LMFAO i am happy abt it#but like literally this week has been so many rejections back to back bc i've been applying to things at my (old) college's career fair#and so many of them have already just immediately rejected me 💀#so a big part of me rn is like why the fuck would this company even still want me ya know#😀😀😀😀 i thnk i'll cry abt this at some point idk when tho 😀😀😀😀#also my mom keeps nagging me to apply for masters which i haven't actually looked into at all yet#i think esp bc she called me last night and was like no one's gonna give you a chance bc you only have bachelors#so you can't compete when theres masters and phd applicants too#which is true ig like i have just gotten flat out rejected without any interview or anything so many times#sooooo all of that adding up to me being like well i somehow tricked this company into still wanting me right#even tho i am literally doing nothing this yr i'm staying on campus bc i like it here#and i have a remote part time job and i'm figuring out what i want to do#jfc idk lmfao i'm also nervous abt telling my mom bc i feel like she just#ughhhgiuhdgfiwtglkdghfajs she can be very critical and judgmental ;-;#and i fele like she's been like that kind of a lot w job/masters conversations and i don't rly like talking to her abt it lmfao#when she called me yesterday she started nagging me abt job apps and not being picky abt stuff and i'm like#you have told me this 746598347 times i rly don't need to hear it again#i do appreciate and love my mom but i just rly don't like this lmfao#i think she'd be ok w it / happy i guess she did tell me to apply for this company at one point a while ago#i wanna scream lmfao#bro i wish tumblr would tell me when im RUNNING OUT OF TAGS rip some of this rambling i don't even remember what i said LOL#jeanne talks
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my verdict on pfq is that this sucks so fucking bad. i made my account in 2020 and only now i can say i'm having fun bc i can shiny hunt and stuff way more effectively. doing stuff like tr as a solo player sucked so fucking bad (three months ago i was on dragon tr and i couldn't fucking shiny or albino hunt. i couldn't hunt until fucking july), and i don't even wanna hunt the cool specials bc w the revamps they will just. completely change the fucking colors, so if you liked a albino or melan the way it was you might as well die. do not even get me started on this shelter systemmmm bc like wym "The Shelter should remain an incredibly inefficient way to find Exclusives/Variants, whether that be for initially Dexing them, or for breeding extras to adopt through there" like how the fuck do you hunt them then?????
#harley screams#starting a exclusive hunt sounds so miserable. you are just forced to use daycare passes if you want to get anywhere#i would hunt Boreal Forme Flurrawr if they didn't do this bullshit to me. i love that little thinggggg#being a newbie in there sounds so miserable. like you literally can't do anythingggg. tr rolls around and you can't shiny hunt!!!#anf literally no one battles. on a pokemon fangame. how do you fuck that up! there's no point in having ivs and evs bc no one cares!#the guest interactions for delta points too like. dude in what world is this a good idea for the Holon Capacitor to be easier to get than-#the PokéRadar when the main method 4 getting dp on ur own is shiny and albino hunting and then you can just cheat for the guest dp anyway#and the admin sucks soooooo bad. i cannot believe the audacity he has sometimes LMAO. its so funny but like what on earthhhh#shoutout to him badmouthing a company he's in talks with regarding fixing a issue w an antivirus blocking the site#the fact that you have to get all the exclusives and variants sucks so bad too. and they're made harder to get on purpose#the exclusives aren't so bad you can earn them on your own BUT the variants? you're fucked!#the pokefusion ones are like. ok sure thats fine but the ones that aren't are like. dude how the hell do you get them on your own#i want to have fun in my little corner like i do on FR and not talk to another player ever in my life#and they don't even rerelease variants that were part of events.... not even for their premium currency.... they hate money#anyway unless you have friends who you know will stick with you through the horrid early game literally do not go in here its hell#sooo many trade evos and for whatttttt
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my vitriolic hate for the parentals only grows btw. everything i overhear is in fact a big fat negative in our relationship
#i am becoming less and less guilty about this the more they cause me grief bc all we fucking do in the polycule is reparent each other#and the ways they have both been horrible has basically been entire emotional neglect and constant abuse for having the gall to live#i have zero respect for them genuinely. i don't fucking care anymore#i barely enjoy moms company anyway because more and more all of our autisms clash#plus she called me codependent once so i stopped being a child around her. so#i really have no more parents anymore. i know my parents hate me. i know it#i dont want to do this anymore#I'm so tired of being alive#i really want to just die right now#fucking. mimi tries to be so sweet but its fucking hard id rather just stop trying to show any sort of love#i hope tht when the parentals look at me all they feel is how much i hate them i NEED them to feel haunted in their own house bc of me.#every one of both of my partners parents have basically been split on me. i was ok with them once until they fucking pushed me enough that#now i literally cannot see them without hate. i hate every one of them for how they treated and still treat my partners and how they make#both my partners dread every second of having to be around them or speak to them or do anything with them#im fucking tired of being treated like they fucking made able bodied children WHEN THEY IN FACT DIDNT. SURPRISE ASSHOLE YOU TRAUMATIZED YOUR#KID INTO DISABILITY#now none of us can fucking function in the world were all 3 disabled stupid autistics who can barely not yell at each other or whatever and#i infact dont blame my partners because i know its not the fucking cause its what they were fucking taught and i have no more grace in me to#give to the parents who raised them. there is no grace for them. there is simply you fucking couldve been better. you failed and you have to#fucking live with the fact that you fucking failed as a parent#i fucking hate everything about the parentals genuinely. there are so much of their lives and interests that i do not respect because their#lives apparently came first over their kids. and i dont care anymore i dont care about reasonable “excuses” i dont fucking care when#i reparent their kid without their fucking input or thought or opinion. fuck off#i fucking hate it here#🥩#🐣#🌤️#original#vent
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