#i love weird shit how have i not heard these songs before hah

[nerves-nebula]

Ummm so abt tm(n)t Donnie,,, he 100% listens to Soddiken. Like Hansel ( https://youtu.be/2tWO_2xLPiE ) is just him. Also i think Misery Meat is a good Leo song. Im rotating them in my mind

I rlly like their music but unfortunately i had to stop listening bc they use cannibalism as a metaphor for abusive relationships a lot and it started making it so me and raph were #twinning✌️ in the intrusive thoughts department. Anyway they are so special to me<3

*froths at the mouth* d-did you say cannibalism as a metaphor for abuse???? do you have any idea... how normal i am,, about cannibalism as a metaphor,,,

(listened to misery meat) OH YEAH thats that GOOD SHIT. Leo @ splinter for real

(listened to Hansel) oh vibes vibes vibes, at first i wasn't sure where it was going but then i realized and you're uh. well you're right! see thing is i've been pouring a lot of myself into donnie so you've kinda called me out here haha fasdfsdf

tbh i never considered not listening to music that triggered me im just like.. ough spicy music lets go hahahfhsdf. idk, i need constant music so maybe im more of a glutton for punishment in that kinda way.

thanks for the suggestions! also you guys are way smarter than me, abbreviating it to tm(n)t fsdfsdf i didnt even consider that when picking out the tag for it

[androgynousblackbox]

Welcome to Hazbin Vale. 13 [Radioapple, Appleradio]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqazV4hbu8E The song that Anthony refers to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmcQTfyziUI The lullaby that Alastor plays for Charlie.]

"Who is ready for some pizza rolls? I know you are, baby, sorry to keep you waiting.

I will see what else we have around here… Oh, Alastor, you had some pasta too."

"Niffty wanted to make some crafts with it and forgot about it. Cook all that you want, darling."

"So… Not to question the radio man with the weird ass radio powers that us mere mortals can't even begind to understand, but is there any reason why there was blasting of that romantic music just now? It just was so loud that we heard it up to here."

"I have no idea what you mean. Must have been the radio doing that automatically while I was having a shower. Nobody cares to hear about that, of course."

"Mmmm, is that so? Are you sure you weren't intending to hide anything more interesting than that? You know, I just can't help to notice that you and Luci suddenly look a lot more relaxed now.

Hah, there it is, that static sound thingy! I recognize that shit from your broadcast! That is a yes then! Holy shit, you waste no time. Hey, I don't blame you for that either, considering the circunstances.

Care to share some details?"

"Do you always need to do that thing with your mouth that you call talking?"

"I mean, I can do other things with it, but I suppose someone else has that role covered."

"Did you happen to forget who I am?"

"Oh, I remember. You are the guy who shook hands with Husky to keep both of us safe until this shit is over if we brought you these two. So you can threaten all you like, I know you can't do shit about it, babe.

Don't take it so personal, smiley face. This is just a little bit of payback for my grandpa.

And my own satisfaction too. Who is the top and who is the bottom? Come on, don't you think your listeners are dying to know? Did you got on your knees or…?"

"Husker, control your companion."

"I am not doing shit for you anymore. And I wouldn't do it either even if we weren't on this mess. Anthony can do whatever he wants."

"Thanks, hon. I knew there was a reason I let you get to third base on the first date."

"But I also want to make note that hearing about the sex life of this shithead is the last thing I want to do, so I am not engaging on this conversation at all."

"Boo, you are no fun.

Hey, Alie, want to hear about our first date? I, unlike other people, can be very generous with details."

"I suppose it must be easy to be generous when it comes to something that nobody cares about anyway."

"You will be surprised."

"Daddy."

"Yes, my little princess? The food will be ready on a bit. Are you hungry?"

"When are we going back home?"

"I… Honey, we… uh…"

"Soon enough, dear. You saw all that fog out there. It's truly dangerous to get outside while it's up so we all must stay here until it clears."

"Are you coming with us too, Alie?"

"Of course. I am getting out of here with you at the same time. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Take it from me, Charlie dear. Doesn't matter how much you love your job, nothing beats getting back home at the end of the day."

"But we are all together now so we can make it fun here too!"

"Indeed, that is very true, little one. But before that we should get you some actual food. You poor thing must not have eaten anything since this morning. I can hear that tummy rumbling from here."

"No, you can't! Don't lie, Alie!"

"Well, I am at least. Maybe I confused my rumbling with yours.

What was that, Lucifer darling? Do you need help with the plates? Don't mind if I do. How about you are a responsible girl and clear the table before lunch, dear? Anthony can help you out.

Since he is not doing anything at all except eating my chocolate."

"Mmm? I mean, sure, no problem.

Let's put all your crayons on their boxes and nevermind, your dogs just ate them all."

"Dazzle and Razzle can't eat, but can have my things inside of them. Want to see me opening their belly? I think I have some candy in there…"

"H-hey, Al, thank you for… I don't know what happened, I just froze there."

"Don't mentioned it. In my line work it is convenient to quickly think things to talk about on the fly. A minute of unnecesary silence is the dead of radio so I have to avoid it at all cost. Nobody wants to tune in just to hear the static."

"I don't know, I am starting to get used to it. It's kinda cute how you only do that when you get flustered or nervous about something.

I didn't understand it at first, but once I started to pay attention as to when it happened it became so obvious.

I mean it as a compliment, Al."

"It's not like I can control it either, so I am glad at least someone likes it."

"And the music?"

"What about the music?"

"The music during the shows. Was that also you or you didn't really control that?"

"Apparently it was all me. But I am myself just now realizing that."

"I liked them. That song that sounded when you talked about our first date I heard it all the time in the office."

"Well, then, if you ever happened to have a petition…"

"CAN I HAVE THE DUCKTALES SONG?!

Please, Alie, I want the ducktales song!"

"It's a show that she likes. But it's kinda modern so I don't know if… Oh, you can do that."

"If it was ever transmitted through radio waves, it's mine for the taking now."

"What a weirdly especific and useless power is that."

"Is that what you think, Husker?"

"Did…

Did you just…

Did you really just used a fart noise for when I sat down? What are you, twelve?!"

"Me? I didn't do anything at all. It must be the age catching up to you, old friend. That is what a bunch of donuts will do to you."

"I DON'T EVEN LIKE DONUTS THAT MUCH!"

"You don't?!

Aah!

Were you ordering all those donuts as a excuse to talk to me?!

Aww, Husky!"

"Can we change the subject already?!"

"What a real party pooper, right, Charlie?"

"Alright, enough toilet humor in front of the food now. Careful, these ones are hot. These ones I took out first so they cool down and my Charlie can take them no problem."

"Thanks, papa!"

"Everything for you, baby. Do you want more juice?"

"Yes, please."

"Here you go. Is it good?"

"Mmm!"

"Huh. You were right, Lucifer. Food do taste better when we are togehter.

Minus some unexpected guests."

"Did you say anything? I couldn't hear you over the sound of the huge favor we did for you! Risking our lives and all, but no biggie! You are welcome by the way!"

"That is a good point.

Thank you.

Even if it was also on your best self interest, I appreciate what you did."

"Oh! I didn't actually think you would say that. You are… actually welcome?

Husky, it's weird when he is nice."

"Right?"

"Alie is always nice to me and papa."

"Was he nice when he dumped your papa?

Uuh, sorry, I don't know why I said that.

That is not my business at all. Forget I said anything."

"No, no, it's fair. Small town, everyone is going to talk, I understand.

I did hurt Lucifer, that was my fault. I did apologize for it and plan to make ammends the best way I can while we are here. I am sorry."

"I-it's okay.

Don't get me wrong, it sucked. A lot. But… of everything that could be happening today, I am glad this is happening."

"Papa is like a tomato!"

"Or a lovely apple."

"You shut up. And you, little missy, are too honest for your own good."

"No, papa, no tickles!"

"Yes, tickles! You have to learn to not make certain comments about your elders! Are you going to learn your manners now?"

"No!"

"Are you going to be a delinquent now? My little danger ducking?"

"Yes! Danger duckling is cool!"

"Oh, Alastor, what happened to my sweet little girl? If only she were here to enjoy the cookies I found on the counter and happened to be her favorites…. I guess they will go to waste now, how awful…"

"Wait, no, I want cookies, papa! I can be danger duckling and also nice!"

"Mmm. Well, if someone can manage that, I suppose it could be my Charlie. I just need to eat your cheeks to be sure and see if you are still nice. Nom nom nom."

"Papa is silly!"

"No, you are silly."

"You are silly!"

"You are the silliest baby girl that has ever existed and that is final."

"Can Alie be silly too?"

"He was born silly, sweetie."

"Yay!"

"I think I am going to fucking vomit."

"Oh shush you, Husky. It's nice. Wish I had a dad like that growing up."

"Well, since everyone is done, let me pick up the plates. I think there is some ice cream on the…"

"Alastor?"

"Wow, what the fuck is up with the lights? Should they do that?

Should his eyes do that exorcist shit?"

"Alastor.

Honey."

"The last listener is gone.

The generators were activated.

We should have… a few hours left."

"Welp. That blows. Fuck."

"There is an empty room that used to be an office on the second floor at the end of the hallway. If you want… privacy, it's there. Just lock the door."

"Papa? What is happening?"

"Uh…"

"Darling. Breath."

"D-didn't.

Didn't you hear, sweetie?

Alastor said that we will just have to stay here a few more hours. Then we can go home. How about after eating you and I go take a nap? The couch on Alastor's studio can be turned into a bed."

"Does it? I didn't know that.

You mean I slept under a desk when I could have used a real bed all along.

Wonderful."

"Well, honey, there is a little thing known as the internet that might have helped you out there with that one. They come on this little convenient things called cellphone that regular people use! I know! Weird but true!

What do you say, sweetie? You must be so tired after today."

"Mmm, a little."

"Then that is what we will do.

Still want to eat the cookies? Yes? Then you can have those. You were about to say something about ice cream on the fridge, Alastor?"

"Yes. Yes, I think I have some left.

Rosie left it the last time. Chocolate with strawberry."

"Can I have too?"

"Didn't you say you weren't a sweet kind of guy?"

"I changed my mind. Stuff happened and now I want ice cream. Is that a crime?"

"Husker?"

"I am good. Enjoy yourselves. Kiddo.

It was nice meeting you. Your dad is a good guy.

I… um… I hope this town treated you well. All things considered."

"It did.

All things considered.

Thank you… for your service.

I will have a bit of those chocolate brandy, though."

"Be my guest, shorty."

"And you, Alastor?"

"I am fine. I don't actually think eating anything else would do me any good right now."

"Are you getting sick?"

"Darling."

"Oh. Sorry, stupid question."

"It's okay. I just hope you all enjoyed it."

"Serve me all chocolate, radio man. And a ton of adult juice on top. Perfect.

Let's go, Husky."

"You are going already?"

"Yep. No offense to any of you, but I want to spend whatever hours we have left with my boyfriend. And I know you are the same.

If there is another side at the end of this, I wouldn't mind meeting you all there.

I am sorry I don't have anything better than that.

Good luck or whatever."

"Papa, the cookies, the cookies!"

"Of course, honey. You have been a good girl so… good girls can have ice cream and cookies as dessert.

Is it good?"

"It's the best, daddy! Thank you, Alie!"

"You are very much welcome, Charlie."

"Can we have this as dessert tomorrow too?"

"Of course, dear. Anything you want.

Ready, love?"

"I guess so. Let's go put you to bed, sweetie.

You wouldn't have any covers or blankets around here?"

"I didn't know I had a bed so, no. But I have a long coat that could work just as well.

There we go. It should be nice and cozy enough"

"Tired, baby?"

"Yeah.

Can Alie put some nice music to sleep?"

"Sure.

This is a spanish lullaby. I don't understand a word of it but it sounds nice, doesn't it? Do you like it, Charlie?"

"Yeh. It's pretty."

"Take a rest, sweetie. We will be right here with you."

"Mmm."

"Are you sleeping, darling?"

"No. I don't think I can.

Alastor.

I missed you a lot."

"I love you."

"You realize it's the first time you say it, right? Of course you would save it for the literal last moment. Bastard."

"Yes."

"You are so emotionally constipated that is unreal."

"Mmm."

"And I never asked it either, did you notice?

Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you are so terrible pretending that you don't.

The fact you think you were ever slick is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

You are like a wet slug pretending that it's a dry rock.

Leaving your trail of love everywhere and then acting as if it isn't there.

Everyone could see it.

That is why I never asked you to.

Even your friend Rosie asked me one time when was the wedding."

"When it would have happen?"

"What?"

"The wedding. When you would have liked having it?"

"Really? You want to talk about that now?"

"Why not?

You can offer other subject if you want."

"I don't know.

Maybe Autumn. Not too old, not too cold. We could have walked down the aisle with the cracking of leaves in a nice open space."

"That sounds lovely.

To tell you the truth I never thought of a wedding.

I just thought you would always be there. Right at my side. We would grow up old and raise Charlie together. It would just happen. Naturally. There was no other way.

Even as I knew it couldn't be."

"With you killing on the side and trying not to stain my floor with the blood of your victims?"

"Darling, I never stained not even my own floors. Please, have a little more faith in me."

"Oh, sorry that I am not familiarized with your way of killing people. How rude of me to think it could get messy sometimes."

"Apology accepted."

"Jackass."

"And you want to marry that jackass. What does that say about you?"

"That I have bad taste in men?"

"Perhaps.

I on the other hand find my own taste impeccable."

"Do you have any idea how irritating that is?

You say shit that are annoying one second and the next say the smoothest thing. I hate it."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't.

How are you holding up?"

"My vision is getting blurry. Oh."

"Your voice is… changing. It sounds like coming from an old radio. Is that bad? I don't know what it means."

"I think it means we have less time now."

"Charlie…"

"Let her sleep. Let it be nothing but a dream for her. Just a long blink."

"I know you said it wasn't going to hurt, but I am scared."

"Lucifer. If we ever see each other again, would you like to know about all of this? Would you like to remember me?"

"While you are another Alastor? In another world?"

"Y-yes."

"I… I think so. No, I would definitely would.

We had good moments. I would like to remember those. Do you think we could do that?"

"Give me your hand.

If we do ever see each other again, I will bring your memories of this life back to you.

But I will only do it if you touch my hand again."

"What is happening?"

"It's a deal?"

"I… yes."

"Then it's done.

Good night."

"Good night, Alastor."

[xcrystalzero]

all the things i believed

pairing: xiao x reader

summary: you've only seen the boy who lives in the apartment one over from yours a few times, but you knew the look of someone who wanted to seem intimidating when you saw one. so, why was his music taste so adorable?

alternatively, xiao thinks that the apartment walls are a lot thicker than they actually are and accidentally exposes the fact that he's not nearly as angsty as he wants everyone to believe.

note: soft xiao makes me way too happy. also, here is xiao's playlist! i recommend listening while you read :) if you guys like it, i'll make playlists for my fics more often!

"I'll miss you!" Your roommate had her arms wound tightly around your torso and it didn't seem like she planned on letting go any time soon. She was also squeezing just a tad too hard and it was starting to hurt.

Gingerly, you patted her on the shoulder, subtly attempting to pry her off of you with your other hand. "I'll miss you too... But remember, it's only two weeks and then you're back!"

That only served to make her pout even more as she finally pulled away "Two weeks is so long though! How am I going to survive without you and your brownies?"

"Hah, so you're really only worried about not having brownies huh?"

"You know that's not what I meant!" she whined, causing you to giggle slightly. Honestly though, there was no way anyone watching could possibly think that she would only be gone for two weeks. Your roommate had decided that she needed three full suitcases and the world's largest carry-on purse for her little trip, and you were honestly a little worried about it.

"Ahem..." Your bonding moment was promptly interrupted by a soft but very present voice directly behind you. Whirling around, you came face to face with a vaguely familiar figure.

It was the golden eyes that caught your attention first. Even in the strange fluorescent light of the hallway, they almost seemed to have a light of their own, a hypnotizing sort of gleam that you couldn't bring yourself to look away from. Of course, the rest of him was no less than stunning either. Dressed head to toe in black with his angular features and lean build, he was striking.

His eyes widened slightly as you turned towards him though they settled fairly quickly back into what you could only assume was his trademark glare.

"Just... trying to get through." His voice was gruff, but much softer than you had anticipated. Perhaps even gentle?

Oh yeah, that was how you knew him! Your schedules must have been somewhat similar since you were sure you passed him at least a few times a week. You had never talked but you were pretty sure you had seen him going into the unit one over from yours quite a few times.

So this was your neighbor huh? He was cute, if a little intimidating.

"Oh sorry!" your roommate chimed in. "We were just leaving, we'll get out of your way!" She began to scoot her bags to the side and you quickly joined in, wheeling one of the suitcases to the side, though you couldn't seem to keep your eyes off of the guy. Every time you looked away, it was as though your gaze was drawn back towards him by some unnatural force.

It helped that he seemed just as awkward with the whole thing as you did, alternating glancing between the you and your roommate, the floor, and his phone. As soon as there was enough space for him to squeeze by, he did, mumbling a quick thanks as he made his way down the hall, unlocking his door and disappearing into his apartment in what felt like a second.

After a moment of silence, your roommate piped up again. "He's cute!"

"He can probably still hear you!" you whacked her across the shoulder, causing her to pout in your direction again, though the teasing look never left her eyes.

"He's kind of your type too isn't he?" she all-but waggled her eyebrows in your direction to which you rolled your eyes.

"Aren't you already late for your flight"

"Oh shit!"

~~~

The apartment felt so strange when you were alone. Usually around this time of night, your roommate would have come banging on your door to join her for her late night rom-com marathon or to help her chose an outfit or the party she was going to. Tonight however, everything was quiet.

With a sigh, you slumped over onto your bed, scrolling aimlessly through your phone in hopes of finding some sort of entertainment.

That was when you heard it. The soft sound of an instrumental through the wall, slowly building in volume as you assumed whoever lived in that room turned up the volume.

"40 days and 40 nights... I waited for a girl like you to come and save my life..."

Aww cute, love songs! Had you been busy or doing literally anything else, you might have been annoyed, or at least a little worried about exactly how loud they had to be playing their music for you to be able to hear it. As things stood though, it was a welcome distraction.

"You were out of my league, all the things I believed, you were just the right kind yeah you were more than just a dream..."

Oh yeah, you knew this song too! There was a sort of second timbre to the sound and you wondered if the person playing the music was singing along as well.

Wait, who was playing that music. Judging by the sound, it was likely the unit one to your left where their wall joined with yours. The unit one to your left...

Multi-colored hair and golden eyes... The cute guy? Pulling yourself immediately up into a sitting position, you pressed yourself to the wall before immediately realizing how crazy you were acting.

He was just playing music, that wasn't anything weird.

"Romeo take me, somewhere we can be alone..."

Taylor Swift. He was playing Taylor Swift. At that, you started laughing. Wow, appearances really could be deceiving huh? You sighed as you leaned with your back against the wall, letting the vibrations from the music soak into your very being.

You were sure that you'd heard music coming from that unit before but he wasn't usually loud at all. Maybe something was different today? Maybe you'd ask him when you next saw him. And maybe, he'd actually want to talk to you when you did.

Or maybe not.

So for now, you let your head rest against the wall, letting the music and soft singing lull you into relaxation.

~~~

That was it, you despised public transportation. All you wanted was to get out of your apartment for one day and take your work to a nearby cafe. So of course, when you ran outside to catch the bus that came once every hour, the bus driver looked you straight in the eye as he closed the door right in front of you and drove off. And then for good measure, it started raining.

You sighed, burying your face in the backpack on your lap. If the bus app was right, which it rarely was, there was another bus you could take arriving in the next few minutes, so maybe this wouldn't be as awful as you thought.

The sound of footsteps entering the little bus stop booth got your mind off of your moping as you raised your head just enough to peer over at who it was that had just joined you.

Oh. Standing there, hood pulled up over his multi-toned hair and seemingly permanent scowl fixed on his lips, was your hot neighbor. Your hot neighbor with very interesting music taste if last night told you anything.

Since nothing could go right for you, the moment that you looked at him, he looked at you, meaning the two of you got to share a few agonizing seconds of awkward eye contact before he pointedly turned away with a soft "tsk". That being said, you were sure that you weren't imagining the slight tinge of shock you had seen in his gaze for a moment.

"You've got good timing, there's one coming in like 5 minutes." You had no idea how you had managed to get the words out without stuttering or blushing the moment he turned back to look at you.

"That's good..." Yup, that was an expected response, and yet, you really just wanted him to keep talking. So this was the end of your story with the gorgeous emo boy next door. Relegated to exchanging conversation about public transportation and nothing more. It was really the wasted potential here that was killing you. So many cute interactions that would just never happen. Ah if only the bus would come so that you wouldn't have to wallow in your despair any longer.

"I... thought you were leaving yesterday?"

Oh? You whirled around way too quickly to face the man, causing his eyes to widen as he shifted away instinctually.

"Oh, I was just helping my roommate move all of her stuff," you managed to get out, summoning what you hoped was a non-nervous smile to your lips.

"Those were all her bags?" he seemed horrified, enough so that you couldn't hold back your laughter.

"I said the same thing! She's kind of insane sometimes but I love her..." Well, it was no or never. "I'm [name] by the way!" You smiled and extended a hand out towards the boy.

He regarded you for a moment with a look you couldn't put into words. After what felt like an eternity however, he gently took your hand in his own, holding it for barely a moment before pulling back again. "Xiao."

Xiao. There was a strange sense of relief that came with this new knowledge. Know that you knew his name, was it couth to ask him what his favorite Taylor Swift song was? Probably not. But there was a chance that you might literally never be able to talk to him again... Meh, it was as you were thinking before right? Now or never.

"Hi Xiao. I liked your playlist last night by the way." The words came out more effortlessly than you had thought they would, carefree and teasing.

You were a little bit surprised though when you glanced back over at Xiao, only to find him eyes blown wide as a deep red spread quickly across his cheeks. "Y-You!"

"Honestly a pretty good curation! If a little unexpected..." You had no idea what it was about this guy but he really brought the snarky, teasing part of you out. Maybe it was the fact that while he usually looked cold and intimidating, blushing, embarrassed Xiao was strangely adorable.

"I thought you left!" Xiao blurted out. "I mean... There were so many bags... And your roommate said that you guys were leaving..."

You stared blankly at him for a moment before immediately dissolving into peals of laughter. Xiao had the gall to pretend to be offended for a moment before he looked away with a soft huff. "What..."

"You know, I kind of thought you were scary at first," you managed between giggles. "I guess not though!"

"Ugh, you're insufferable." Xiao rolled his eyes though you were sure that you saw the slightest hint of a smile as he did. "Why were you listening through the walls anyway?"

"Xiao, it was literally so loud."

"It wasn't that bad!"

"And I think I heard some singing too! Say, you in a band? Do you guys usually just write love songs?"

"I was not singing!"

There was a strange warmth in your chest as the two of you went back and forth. So things could go right for you after all?

~~~

Sadly, you and Xiao hadn't been going the same way, so when his bus came - before yours you might add - the two of you had parted ways. The sun had been going down when you made your way back home, satisfied with a productive day, though the memory of your conversation with Xiao was still taking up a lot more headspace than you would have liked.

So this is what it was like to simp for a guy? You weren't sure you liked it.

Setting down the takeout you had picked up on the counter, you crashed onto your living room couch with a low groan. Sleep would be nice right about now, but also, you had to eat and shower and clean...

"I wonder what Xiao's doing?" The thought appeared in your head suddenly and you almost smacked yourself right then and there. Why were you always thinking about him? You'd literally spoken to the guy once, and it wasn't anything special! Just some teasing and his little retorts... And his cute blush... And his little smile... And the way he pretended to be annoyed when he was clearly enjoying it... Wow, this was worse than you thought.

"CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART?"

You yelped, jumping up in your seat at the sudden noise, coming once again from the wall separating you and Xiao's units. You paused for a moment but before you could stop yourself, you were back up on your feet, making your way over and banging against the wall.

"You're not fooling anyone Xiao!" you yelled, not sure if he could even hear you. Apparently he could since the music stopped as quickly as it had started. There was a moment of silence as you pressed your ear to the wall, waiting for his next move. What you did not expect was to hear sound in the other direction. A knock on your door.

Confused, you made your way over, unlocking the door and pulling it open to reveal, Xiao? He was still wearing his giant black hoodie, though the glare was missing.

"Did you run out of sugar or something? Or fake angsty songs to play?" you questioned with a grin.

As expected, he let out a soft huff, turning his head away in fake exasperation. "You're a menace."

"So what I'm hearing is that you want me to send in a noise complaint!"

"You idiot... I'm just here to-" For whatever reason, he was blushing again.

"Here to?" you prompted, wondering if you should invite him in or offer him water or something. He was tugging at the collar of his hoodie too...

"J-Just here to say that if you're going to sit there listening through the walls, you might as well just come over..."

Did you hear that right? You stared at him for a moment longer, blinking slowly. This was probably a dream right? You were so tired when you got home that you fell asleep and now you were dreaming.

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to..." Or maybe not.

"You know, normal people just invite people over without pretending to be edgy right?"

"Shut it, are you coming or not?"

"Yeah yeah I'm coming. Oh yeah, I got takeout, I'll bring it. It's from that new place down the street, Wangshu Inn. Have you ever had Almond Tofu before?"

"... you're unbelievable."

note: i want a hot neighbor like xiao... i did have a hot neighbor who i did hit on, but then i found out that he had a girlfriend so i stopped... but xiao would be better.

[cheelduh]

How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)

Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.

Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not. 

Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH

For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.

Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.

Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.

Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.

You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.

Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"

A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"

"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."

Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.

The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.

You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.

Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.

The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.

"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."

Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.

"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.

"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"

Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.

You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.

Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"

"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."

She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.

"What do you want?"

You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."

Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"

How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.

"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."

Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.

Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"

You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.

Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."

He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.

Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."

"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."

She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.

"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."

You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.

"Oh, I will be."

—

Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.

He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.

Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.

"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.

"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.

"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"

Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."

"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.

"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.

"Ok—ok I'm sorry."

There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.

"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.

Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.

Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.

However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.

"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.

The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.

"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.

"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.

The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.

"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."

"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.

"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."

"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."

"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.

"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."

"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.

The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."

Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."

"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."

"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.

"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.

Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."

"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."

"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."

"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"

As favorable as the proposal is, Childe  contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.

His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.

"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.

Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.

Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.

Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.

"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"

He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.

—

Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.

It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.

From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.

"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.

"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.

"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"

The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.

Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.

"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."

"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.

"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."

The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.

"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.

Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.

Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"

"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."

He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.

As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.

"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."

Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.

—

You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.

Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?

"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.

Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"

"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.

He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.

Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.

You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."

"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"

"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."

"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"

It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.

"Yeah...something like that."

The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.

"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."

"And the son of a bitch did it?"

"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"

You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."

"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"

Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.

Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.

Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.

"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.

You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.

"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."

"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."

Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.

Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.

"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.

With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.

A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.

Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.

There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.

If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.

You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.

Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"

"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.

"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.

Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.

"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."

"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.

Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.

Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.

Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.

"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."

"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."

A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."

"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.

Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.

His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"

You lock and aim for his right kidney.

Worth a try, Childe thinks.

"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.

Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.

It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.

"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.

Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.

[nyaheum]

My yearly list of Eurovision songs after the first impression (I mean, for like, half of them. I heard snippets of some songs.). Judged on music videos, because...if I only listen to the songs on Spotify, my eyes get bored. :’)

(oh, and don’t talk to me about iceland’s placement, I know this might be unpopular)

X. Belarus

Fuck Belarus, all my homies hate Belarus. Not even going to grace them with a rating.

Norway (TIX – Fallen Angel)

...no. :( And it’s not even because Keiino didn’t win, I just wholeheartetly hate this song. And I’m kinda sorry to TIX, because he seems like a cool dude and his stage outfit is absolutely hilarious, but oh my god do I hate this song with an absolute burning passion.

Poland (RAFAL – The Ride)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji – well, this is a non-qualifier if I’ve ever seen one. Can we just...skip this?

Belgium (Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place)

Nap time! This song annoys me. I cannot explain it, but it gives me a headache and my whole body is revolting against this song. I am not kidding. Objectively, I don’t even hate it, but there’s just something about it...that makes me go...hnghgng…

North Macedonia (Vasil – Here I Stand)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji ver. 2 – I am not trying to sound mean, but does North Macedonia do any music that is not dramatic power ballads? I’m serious. (And I don’t like it, sorry. :((...except for the high notes, I like them. When he can hit them live.)

Estonia (Uku Suviste – The Lucky One)

This (the music video)...is soft porn. I am slightly scared of Uku. I don’t know why. But, uh...this is better than last year’s song? Still, it wouldn’t qualify under my watch, whoops.

Georgia (Tornike Kipiani – You)

He stopped yelling angrily at the microphone. :((( Nah, but this isn’t my thing. It’s great that they are doing their own thing, it’s just not really my thing...it also reminds me of a song I know, damn.

Austria (Vincent Bueno - Amen)

He looks like a german youtuber. I don’t know hich one, but he looks like one. I also canot tell if he’s 18 or 38, lol. (For some reason he also reminds me of Alex Albon, which is even weirder.)...oh, uh, the song? Idk, I don’t care for I. It’s fine.

Spain (Blas Cantó – Voy A Querdarme)

Confession: I’m probably the only person who actually doesn’t like the sound of Spanish all that much. Whoops. Apart from that though, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really say more about that. Meh.

The Netherlands (Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age)

Listen: I really like the tone of this voice. It’s great. I am not a fan of the song. There’s something just very off about the loud percussions (?) in the background that make me go absolutely crazy when listening to this. My sensory-overload-prone ears hate it, and I’m sorry...the part before the last chorus on the other hand I love. The whole song could have sounded like that and I would have loved it. (...and I can’t unhear “You are my broccoli – You know my broccoli!” ;-;)

Azerbaijan (Efendi – Mata Hari) Whenever I see Efendi, my brain still goes “Cleopatrrrrra!”, oof. This song sounds like a song I know. Which...is super unprecice, but I genuinely don’t know which one. I do like that they kept the weird pre-chorus thing from Cleopatra (and reference the song later on), but I must say that I liked Cleopatra more...but it’s a party song, so I think it will be fun on stage!

Romania (ROXEN - Amnesia)

I didn’t like her song last year, I don’t enjoy this all too much and I’m kinda sorry but also...I don’t want to apologize for my taste in music, lmao. I want her hair though. Give me her hair.

Denkmark (Fyr & Flamme – Ove Os Pa Hinanden)

Ring ding ding, native language bonus. This is also way more fun than I thought it would be, hah. VERY retro, but I don’t hate that? :D (this and sweden really aren’t any different in terms of how much I like them)

Portugal (The Black Mama – Love Is On My Side)

I can appreciate this. I just wish it was in Portuguese, honestly. I don’t really know if I like the English for this song. That being said, I don’t know if you can make these very specific tones (you know what I mean) in portuguese without it sounding super off, so…

Ireland (Lesley Roy – Maps)

Okay, you do you Ireland. :D

Israel (Eden Alene – Set Me Free)

This exists. :D

Cyprus (Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo)

Cyprus came to party, and I can’t be mad at that. I just don’t know why everybody in the YouTube comments loves this SO MUCH that they are sure that it will win if it gets the jury votes. I don’t think it’s as good as Fuego or She Got Me were, but maybe I just have no taste in party music. I don’t party. (Only if you got a 2000s playlist and some iced tea.)

France (Barbara Pravi – Voilà)

FRANCE sending a BALLAD? In MY Eurovision? It’s more likely than you think. It’s good, objectively. Personally, I don’t really care for it all that much and feel like I already know it.

United Kingdom (Embers – James Newman)

A good, modern song? In my british eurovision song? What happened on the Isles over quarantine? Are you guys okay? Did you find yourself? Have you taken your last breath (breath!) and looked at your past results? I’m impressed enough to put this relatively high, wow.

Serbia (Hurricane – LOCO LOCO)

*adore delano voice* party! Oh, and native language bonus...for a party song! I’m...impressed, actually. I cannot decide wheter I prefer this or Hasta La Vista, but I think it’s this one? The flows smoother, if that means literally anything.

Bulgaria (VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old)

*shrugs* I think a lot of people will like this. And I get that. I think I even understand it...yeah. I didn’t like her song last year either. It’s just personal preference, I think. I just want to have fun during Eurovision, hah.

Finland (Blind Channel – Dark Side)

Finland: FUCK YOU!!! Germany: Fuck you. <3

That’s all I’ll say, we know how the Finnish are, this is not surprising, lmao. (And I’m one of those children that grew up on Rammstein, so I legally cannot dislike this.)

Croatia (Albina - Tick-Tock)

Tick-tock, can you hear me go tick-tock? My heart is like a clock, I'm steady like a rock-...oh wait, wrong tick-tock! Still, really enjoy this song’s chorus – I actually enjoy it so much that it makes up for the utter loss of interest I experience once it’s over, chrm.

Sweden (Tusse – Voices)

I mean...let’s be honest, it’s a generic swedish pop song. It sounds like every other Swedish entry, and I think that bothers me. I know, that sounds kind of...weird, looking at my choices higher up in the list, but...meh. I think this will easily qualify for the Final and place high, and I am totally okay with that. It’s just not...what I wanted, I guess? :D (and i’m sorry but as a german-speaker I cannot get over the name “tusse”) (oh, and tusse seems to be super cool)

Albania (Anxhela Peristeri - Karma)

Oh, we’re going to war in 130 A.D.? Fine, let me just pack my spear and- oh, Albania has already sent a singer? Ah, well, might as well give up and just vibe.

Czech Republic (Benny Cristo - omaga)

This sounds fun. Not a winner or anything, but fun. I’ll probably still be on Twitter when he’s performing, whoops.

Slovenia (Ana Sklic - Amen)

Wait, there’s TWO songs called Amen? And why do I actually kinda like this? Oh well, might as well just accept it. (Her voice though...mhmmhmhm…yes please)

Iceland (Dadi og Gagnamagnid – 10 Years)

We just vibin’. I liked Think About Things more, but I’m very much biased here...because I’ve known that song for a year now. But this is still very good, and very on brand. (And I understand like...half of the lyrics, but I am okay with that.)

Australia (Montaigne - Technicolour)

not australia flexing at all of europe that they can hold big gatherings! D: oh, but I like this way more than last years song. I feel like Montaigne can show her GREAT voice way better in this song. (Even though her outfit and the sound of the song reminds me of the UK song that had...a dude run on the stage. I can’t think of the word for it right now.)

Malta (Destiny – Je Me Casse)

Destiny’s voice is just….wow. This is very different than All My Love, but it’s fun. The topic of the lyrics kinda remind me of Toy, and I like that…..I don’t really like the music video (especially the dancers in the colorful dresses? idk), but I’ll just ignore that.

Germany (I Don’t Feel Hate - Germany)

Confession time: I actually actively enjoy this song. Everybod is shitting on it, but it’s FUN and it has a good message, and Jendrik seems like the nicest dude ever and...it doesn’t deserve all the hate it’s getting? It’s completely self-produced and just fun. Stop being mean. :(

(...also someone on youtube said “pewdiepie” and I can’t unsee that now so fuck you >:((...no, no I don’t feel hate, just rethink your life choices)

Moldova (Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR)

What in the “Eis.de ist in der Kiste” is this music video? And I thought I would absolutely hate this song, but I actually don’t mind it all that much. It’s actually fun. Oh no, I’m splipping, someone catch me, aaaaaahhhhh….(and that poor cake dude. Is this song about cannibalism? Does she want to eat him?)

San Marino (Senhit – Adrenalina)

Catch me hum the chorus of this song at least once a day...but honestly, without any malicious intent: what the actual FUCK san marino? This is so much better than Freaky, and even though I do not believe for one second that this will win, the simple outragiousness of bringing Flo Rida to Eurovision deserves attention. (Bringing someone like Flo Rida to ESC sounds more like Scandinavia/Bulgaria, doesn’t it?)

Russia (Manizha – Russian Woman)

Not gonna lie, I miss Little Big, but at least they are sending something that’s at least as weird. I love that. Russian Rap is cool as fuck anyway, so I’m fully here for this...but I’m glas this song doesn’t have a music video, this just has to be a live performance. (Oh, and another strong woman!)

Ukraine (Go_A – SHUM)

I’m SO glad Go_A are back. But, let me be completely honest: I know why they had to change the lyrics, but I still liked the first version better. BUT I feel like the new one will grow and me and it will climb one or two places, because the Instrumental just slaps SO HARD. (Makes me feel like putting on a Cybergoth outfit and start dancing at a German industrial park, lmao.)

Latvia (Samanta Tina – The Moon Is Rising)

Does this count as my guilty pleasure this year? I loved her song last year, and this sounds similar, so...I like this too. It sounds modern as fuck (well, for Europe, you know) and I can definitely...”vibe” with that. I genuinely really enjoy this, and I don’t know why. (Even though I prefer last years drop.) A lot of “strong, independent women”-songs this year, and I’m not complaining.

Switzerland (Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers)

Just so we’re clear, this and Italy share the exact same spot. I just cannot compare them at all. Gjon’s voice just takes me hostage throughout this whole song and won’t let me go. And everything that isn’t english/is in the countries offical language immediately gets plus points from me. As if this song needed them anyway.

Lithuania (The Roop – Discoteque)

Aaaaaand...dance break! Good, I just love them so much, it’s not even funny anymore. And I’ve been singing this song randomly since it came out. I can’t stop. It has burned itself into my brain. Let’s dis-co-teque right at my home! *waves arms around with no sign of coordination*

(and does anyone else feel like he’s serhat, just with a different alignment? Like, they are both chaotic, but serhat is chaotic neutral and he’s either chaotic good or chaotic bad, it really depends on the way he looks at the camera)

Italy (Maneskin – Zitti E Buoni)

Italy delivers, as they do every year. Not only do I really like this song (it is very much my genre), THIS is an aesthetic I can get behind! Knowing Eurovision, I doubt it will win, but damn if it won’t be super fun! (I am so glad this won Sanremo, hah.)

[yoongimingle]

How BTS helped shape kpop, a ramble-y story from me

I was in Asda (UK store) earlier getting some lunch before work and My Universe starts playing and I had to stop and have a little moment...I remembered a party I went to in 2015 when I was 18, just old enough to buy alcohol and so I was in that very same store buying drinks for the party on my way there. I was already a huge army by that time and was almost definitely listening to BTS through my earphones at least on the walk there. Well I went to this party and there was a big speaker connected to someone's phone and they left it unlocked and were letting everyone just take turns to pick a song or two, I'm not pushy so I waited a few hours to get my turn and when I did I decided to play Dope because it was new, I loved it, and I thought it had a great vibe for a party. I press play and as soon as Joon says his line at the beginning, literally everyone in the room complained loudly, someone said "not this Chinese shit" and another ran to the speaker and skipped the song, they had barely heard a line of the actual tune. A song that's just as good musically as any English or American song. I was SO upset the whole night, maybe I overreacted but I waited patiently for my turn and didn't even get one song because it wasn't in English.

There was other moments like this, mainly at college, where people would ridicule me for liking kpop. I got laughed at for writing an essay (music college) about BTS because the essay was to write about your favourite band/artist. Similarly when I wrote my final essay about kpop in the Western world and comments were made. One time we all took turns to show the class a music video we liked, I showed Swing by Super Junior-M because it fit with the kind of style we were studying, I looked around the room, saw everyone snickering and whispering amongst themselves because obviously it's so hilarious that Natt put on a music video of "Chinese people dancing weirdly"

Well I was in Asda today, and like I said My Universe starts playing and wow...I'm so proud. I thought about how weird it is to be in that same store 6 years later because at that moment 6 years ago it would have been WILD to play a BTS song over the store speakers, not only that but I'm stood there hearing this song they did with freaking COLDPLAY in a busy, popular store, which also sells both versions of Butter which I could see across the aisle from where I happened to be standing and just- idk man I just had a little moment where I felt so proud of the boys and what they've achieved and how they've shaped people's opinions in the Western world. I also felt a twinge of some sort of 'I told you so' resentment, like I'd love to track down everyone from 6 years ago who laughed at them and say HAH look at BTS now. Especially the guy who ran to the speaker to switch off Dope. Imagine being able to find him and being like "hey you, yeah you, you remember 6 years ago at some house party when you turned off the song I put on because it wasn't in English? No you probably don't remember that because it was completely insignificant to your life, while it greatly hurt me, but anyway- you did that- and you know who the artist was? BTS. Yeah, you know, Dynamite, Boy With Luv, Butter? My Universe, their song with c o l d p l a y? Oh you like those songs? Yeah I bet you do because they're chart songs now so suddenly they appeal to your narrow mind"

Anyway that was a messy ramble I just had some thoughts to get out, it's not even that deep, honestly I just think too much and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm still BTS trash all these years later and I'm SO proud of our boys and all other kpop groups for how far kpop has come. Yeah, thanks for coming to my TED talk if anyone read.

[faecaptainofdreams]

(Everyone is sitting together. It doesn't really matter where, but they're all outside and having a great time. Lance, Walter, Marcy, Killian, Eyes, Ears, August, Ramsey, Sky, Felix, Gwynn, Jack, and Hiro. Other friends, such as Joy and Tonya [the security lady], aren't too far away. Lovey, Jeff and Crazy Eyes are present as well, calmly strutting around, being petted by various members of the group.) Walter: I remember when I was six, I went to my mom's room and was watching her put on her makeup for the day. She was kinda used to that, since I followed her everywhere. Well, I told her I liked her makeup, and that she was really good at putting it on. So then I'm like "Hey, what's it like to wear makeup?" And she goes, "I don't know, I'm used to it." And she looked at me, because I think she knew that I was building up to asking if I could wear some. I told her I just wanted to wear what she was wearing, just to know. She had to think about that for a minute, hah! Marcy: This feels like a really important part of your flamboyant origin story. (Everyone laughs, Walter included.) Walter: YES, definitely! So like, she was a little thrown, I think? But then she was like "Yeah, sure, okay, you can try on my makeup," and she had me sit in her little chair in front of the mirror. She was telling me that it was gonna feel funny, that I needed to be still so she wouldn't accidentally poke my eye, all that good stuff. My mom was SUPER attentive whenever she tried new things with me, because of the Asperger's. We really didn't know what could trigger that potential sensory overload or what I might be overwhelmed by, so I think she was more nervous about that than anything. Well... Before she started, I asked her if wearing makeup would make me less of a boy. I said, "Only girls wear makeup, and when boys like girly things, they get made fun of." I was really aware of that. I always SO BADLY wanted to take my Unitee to school, as a comfort object, but I was scared to death of the other kids taking her from me and tearing her up or something. So -- anyway, mom goes, "No, some boys wear makeup," and she said, "Did you know that men wear makeup in other parts of the world?" And she told me about the Egyptians, ancient peoples and how makeup was originally for everybody, all that cool stuff. SHE info-dumped on ME! (They all laugh a little.) Walter: It was just really striking to me how...progressive she was, like there was nothing I could do that she didn't support. I told her I didn't think I wanted to wear makeup all the time, and she said "Good, you're too young for it anyway." (More laughs.) Walter: So I sat there, and she started putting the makeup on me. She put on my eye shadow, then eye liner, then mascara... It was exhausting! How do people wear it ALL THE TIME? (They all nod and chuckle and Marcy raises her hand, drawing attention to herself.) Marcy: It's the way of the woman, Walter. Killian: And the very flamboyant, but no-less-masculine man. Ramsey: I tried on makeup once. Turned my rat face into a rat face with paint on it. (All laughter.) Sky: Hah, okay babe, so what happened next? Walter: *giggles softly* Well, then she put a little blush on just for the fun of it, and then put lipstick on me. We both kept laughing, I think she was laughing at me because I kept pursing my lips out SUPER hard! She was like "Just relax a little!" And I would, and then I would purse really hard again! (Laughs.) Gwynn: That's so cute, hah hah. Walter: We had this really long talk about how boys are not boys because they don't wear makeup, and girls aren't girls because some of them do wear makeup. Same with pants, and dresses. She said that if I am a boy, then that's what I am no matter what I have on. I was like... "If?" (Lots of concerned chuckles and a few laughs roll through the group.) Lance: OH shit, she probably didn't count on that one. Walter: NO, NOT AT ALL. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, but honestly transgender, non-binary and all the LGBT stuff has REALLY just been gaining traction in the past few years. Like I said, she was REALLY progressive. Felix: Did she have to explain that? Walter: *nods* A little. She kept it simple, she was like "Well, sometimes little boys feel like they aren't actually boys, and they feel like they're girls, so they choose to be girls and that's who they really are." I asked her how that's possible, because I have to over-analyze everything, pfft. She said she couldn't really explain it, that it was fine that I didn't understand, that she could tell me later. Yeah -- whenever she couldn't explain a hard topic to me, she was always really good about saying it was okay that I didn't understand it. Living in a world where you're expected to just GET everything, whether it's a hard or an easy concept, that was always nice. Hiro: *nods* Jack: Everyone should be told that, you've got a point there. Sky: I could not STAND when teachers were like "Oh ThiS iS eAsY, eVeRyOnE eLsE gEtS iT" LIKE BITCH, SHUT UP. *claps between words* I'M- NOT- THEM. Lance: RIGHT THOUGH?!

Ears: Rude.

Walter: Exactly! Everyone is different. Not even from an Autistic standpoint, just a HUMAN CHILD standpoint, my mom was really good with helping me be okay with my environment. August: Do you think if you were neurotypical, she would've been just as good, or like, less good or not as...paying attention? Walter: *thinks for a moment* Mmm... I mean, she was really good with me before I was even diagnosed, she was really patient and tried to roll with the fact that I was somehow very different from my peers. But no, I think she probably would've been about the same. Maybe less careful, or less afraid of setting me off somehow, but she DEFINITELY wouldn't have loved me less or had been any less kind. She was just...a great mother, plain and simple. (Gwynn reaches across the table and gently takes his hand, silently offering a bit of love. Walter smiles sadly to her.) Lance: So, what happened with the makeup? Walter: *sits up and takes in a deep breath* I told her it felt weird, aaand she said that was normal... *smiles softly* She told me I was pretty... I asked if I could show grana, so we went and found her in the living room and showed her. Ramsey: Oooh, was granny as progressive as mom? Walter: OH yeah, she was definitely where my mom got it from. She loved it! Marcy: *shaking her head slowly in awe* That is so rare, like WOW. Walter: Mm-hm. Yeah, I actually came out to grana when I was 14. I said, "I think I'm gay," and she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Oh, I knew that!" (They all laugh.) Walter: I was like, "Whaaat??" She told me that her and mom figured that out when I was two. Lance: ...What the hell was you doin' when you were TWO to give that away??? (They all chuckle.) Walter: HAH hah! I asked her that, and she said that my mom was just watching me play. I wasn't doing anything special, I -- she just said "I think my son is gay." And apparently, grana felt the same way? It turns out, big shocker, I am not mysterious. Hahahah! Felix: No, no you are NOT. Gwynn: Your family was really cool, Walter. Walter: Yeah... They were... (He nods his head slowly, eyes becoming a little wet. But he smiles, warm memories, love, and a little sadness filling his heart.) Walter: And now I have this cool family, so... I'm really really l-ucky-- (He wipes his eyes, trying not to cry.) Walter: Nnnaaahhh!! I don't wanna cry, aha hah...! Marcy: *chuckles* It's okay. Walter: Gah, I know. I cry enough though, I can go TEN MINUTES without! (They all chuckle, but there is an expression of care for him in everyone.) Walter: So that's the makeup story. *sniffles and wipes his eye one more time* I ended up not wearing it again after that, until the -- *motions to Jack* the mission! Jack: That was some fun, eh? Heheh! Really, Walter, you did make for a lovely lady! Walter: *laughs* Well thank you!! Hiro: I think it's nuts when people can tell their kids are gay. Killian: Yeh, some people honestly just feel that. I've heard about pregnant women being able to feel their unborn child is a certain way, and then years later they figure out they're right. Mind-boggling. Walter: There really is nothing harder to explain than a mother's instinct! Lance: Yeah, then there's MY mom. When I was like fifteen, my mom caught me dancin' in my room to this really fruity song and some dumbass chick flick was on the TV, and... (Everyone starts laughing.) Lance: *waves it off* So she busts in my room and is like *mocking voice* "Lance, you wanna tell me somethin'? Are you gay?" and I got all defensive and was like "NO MOM" in this really squeaky voice. (The laughter continues, and Lance along with them.) Lance: I knew what bein' gay was, and I knew how people made fun of it -- I made fun of it back then, everyone used it as an insult, there was all this misinformation about it flying around. My mom wasn't even being accusatory, she wasn't like MAD about it or anything, but from then on, ALL the time, if I did somethin' kinda questionable she was like "YoU gAy?!" So I'd try to make my voice deeper, like *makes voice deeper* "NO, MAMA. I LIKE GIRLS." (Laughter) Eyes: Did she try to get you for overcompensating? Lance: *claps and points at her* YES, I was just about to say! So I started gettin' pissed off about the gay thing, right? Well, my mom didn't know that I was listenin' to Afro Man back then. Hiro: What is that? Lance: Look him up, he's hilarious! Best song, Colt 45, hands down.

Ears: It's pretty funny, gotta admit. August: THAT SONG. IS SO. GROSS. Walter: When I was in middle school I heard some of the other kids singing it, I was sooo confused! August: Weren't you like FOUR in middle school? Walter: HAH HAH no, I was seven! August: PFFFT, OKAY, well that's still awful. Walter: *nods* Lance: My mom asked me if I was gay for the last damn time before I brought out my little laptop and started BLASTIN' Colt 45. Marcy: What even is that song?? Lance: It's literally just a rap song about the Afro Man having sex with dozens of women and being real vulgar about it, but not like your normal rap song. August: It's kind of like a parody, but it's not? Marcy: *sits back* Ew. Lance: Heh heh heh, yeah, when she heard that she went OFF on me. She was like "WHERE'D YOU FIND NASTY TRASH LIKE THAT YOU DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW" and started whippin' at my ass with the hand towel! (Laughter) Lance: I was running away cryin', screaming "I WAS JUST TRYIN'A TELL YOU I'M NOT GAY" and she goes "THAT'S WHAT OVERCOMPENSATIN' LOOKS LIKE!" (Their laughter is loud, boisterous, and unapologetic.) Ramsey: You get in trouble?! Lance: BIG TIME. Actually -- HA -- yeah, that's how I got into the military, she said "fuck this child and his stupid gay ass, he's gonna be a marine," stuck me on a plane and shipped me off. (The laughter is settling, but still genuine.) Lance: Nah nah I'm jokin', that's a joke. But yeah, I wasn't allowed on the internet for like three months after that. Walter: Hmhmhm! Did she finally stop asking? Lance: Yeah, yeah finally. I think that was the last straw. Marcy: Hey, where was your dad during all this? Lance: Oh god, you know him, he just kinda...stayed out of it, heh. He's definitely the more submissive one. But that's all right, mama's good to him. Killian: I personally adore your mother. Lance: Yeah, 'cos she showed you my baby pictures. Killian: You had the fattest fuckin' face on any infant I've ever seen. Lance: Whatever! You probably weighed like 18 pounds when you came out, you tank! (Walter unintentionally leads into the group laughing fit with a heavy "PFFT!") Killian: *laughing* I was thin as a rail 'til i was 17! Lance: Nah, you was what took down the Hindenburg, 100%. Killian: Bitch your face WAS the Hindenburg! Those CHEEKS! (The laughter only gets harder. The stories go on, the happiness rolls on forever. Eventually, Joy and Tonya join the group. This really is Walter's family, and it's perfect.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's a little cheesy, but we could use some of that right now. I had this idea of Walter and Wendy a couple months ago, but never once even spoke of it. I thought i would do art for it sooner, but here we are -- better late than never. I'm glad it took until now, because i wouldn't have shaded it then. Been feeling sentimental lately, and SiD is a huge part of my heart now. This was actually done on the last page of the first sketchpad i used for SiD! Apparently, i abandoned the drawing pad with ONE PAGE LEFT >8U SO DUMB. So with me being emotional, feeling a need for closure and wanting to add one more thing to the book, i decided this was the perfect subject matter. I don't know when i'll draw for this movie again since Marvel has swept me away, but I think i'll always be paying attention to it. I think this is one of those things that just will forever mean the world to me.

<3

[my-fanfic-library]

Something Different {BBC Dracula x Reader} [20]

Masterlist

A/N: I write this as I sit in bed, knowing full well that I should be on the bus right now on my way to my lecture, but that doesn’t matter. Thank you all for your help last night, it truly did help me calm down a lot. Also I’d like to apologise for clearly being over dramatic (but God has punished me because I am actually a little ill now Oof). Anywho, enjoy the chapter and enjoy the gif of Claes which may or may not suggest acts that you shall do to Dracula which most definitley would not be in line with the current traffic laws

Oh, also a warning - there’s quite a few sexual references in this one and also an almost handjob.

~^*^~

Now, while Dracula was the most sophisticated, high maintenance, gentlemanly gentleman that you had ever had the pleasure of meeting, he definitely had some weird quirks. For one, he truly enjoyed showers and baths. He didn’t need them, considering his body didn’t sweat and nor did he reek of death (only to the human nose, apparently - dogs could smell him from miles off). He said that he simply liked the convenience of it. One of humanities greatest inventions, he had proclaimed.

Currently, you were indulging in his most recent quirk. Back pressed against the door of the bathroom, you could hear the shower running and another sound. Music. What you originally would have expected to be beautiful classics like Gymnopedie No. 1, maybe Clair De Lune or something along those lines, was actually...

Lil Nas X’s Old Town Road.

You were in hysterics. Your stomach had knotted with the force of your (almost) silent laughter, tears were threatening the corner of your eyes and your jaw ached. You didn’t have any idea just how Dracula had found it, or why he liked it so very much as to put it on repeat, but listening to him hum along the tune was spiralling you down into painful bouts of laughter every second that you heard it and continued to think about the bizarreness of the entire ordeal.

Maybe you should have laughed a little further away, since a certain male had heard the laughter that you had genuinely tried to conceal. He wanted to catch you off guard for being so inconsiderate to both his wishes to bathe and his music choices.

Back still pressed firmly against the door, you had to lean further into it just to support yourself and when whoosh. Down you went as steam billowed out and onto your back you went. It was Dracula’s turn to laugh now. You scowled, laugh immediately disappearing from your features as you pushed yourself up to look at him. Regret hit you. In just a towel, secured to his waist by his hand, he loomed over you as he continued to chuckle. His other arm extended over your head, holding the door open and holy shit, you didn’t realise the expanse of the muscle he had. Beads of water rolled down his skin, a thin layer of heat steaming off of him, as if to physically scream ‘look at how how I am!’ And you chocked on air. His hair all wet and falling into his face, his chest puffed out as his laughter continued. Dear heavens above, you should have stayed in the bedroom and far, far away from him when he looked like this.

Which one of you was the cannibal again? You couldn’t remember.

“Do you no longer find my taste in music amusing, or is there something suddenly bothering you?” He teased, eyes looking over your form. All that you wore was one of his much too oversized shirts. You had told him that you enjoyed to sleep in it because it was comfortably, but the truth was that it swallowed you with his scent and you loved it. You hadn’t even realised that the music was no longer playing.

“I-“ you were lost for words, gawking at him.

“Oh, you see something you like?”

“No- I- you know what, I think I’m gonna just got for a quick jog to, uh, I don’t know- Scotland. Yes, Scotland.”

“Darling, you would never make it out of this room. I wouldn’t let you.”

“Drac,” you huffed, “please stop doing things that make me feel a burning need to mock you because I don’t like your cockiness when you get me back.”

“Well, how is it fair that you get to have your way with me, but I can’t?”

“Dracula you had your way with me before you,” for the last word of your sentence, you brought up your fingers to use as air quotes, “died.”

“And I hadn’t even started.” He smirked, “now, is there something that you wanted?”

“No, you can return to your shower. Maybe try a different song, though, Old Town Road gets old fast.”

“I think I have an even better idea.” His hand that held the door fell and hooked around your waist, pulling you into the room. You gently yelped in surprise as he pulled your chest flush to his. You could feel the water soaking the shirt immediately and you tried to wiggle your way out of his grasp. The door shut behind you, “stop moving or I’ll drop the towel.” You froze.

“Oh, c‘ mon Drac, Barefoot Contessa was about to start.” You pouted.

“You were very clearly more interested in me than in the television. Now, as you can see, I’ve left the water running.”

“Good for you. Your water bill will be high this month.” You retorted.

“Care to join me?”

“Hah, no.”

He dipped his head down to your mark, which had scarred over nicely. Pushing the hair away from that side of your neck, he pressed a kiss. You shuddered, balling your hands into fists. He wasn’t about to win. You couldn’t afford to let him win again. He pressed a second kiss against it, and when you still showed signs of resilience, his tongue flicked out. Sweet Jesus. A blissful and intense tingle spread through your shoulders and down your back. Your knees buckled and you pressed your hands to his firm chest to keep yourself upright.

“Much better.” He hummed, “have I persuaded you, yet?”

“No.” You breathed.

His mouth began to work against your neck, kisses here and there, his tongue occasionally trailing a quick stripe across your skin. If just his kisses like this drove you haywire, what the fuck would you do in much more intimate circumstances? It became apparent quickly that you wouldn’t be able to stand much more of this abuse and-

“Okay fine! But no funny business. We are meant to be going out today.”

“I won’t promise to keep my hands to myself, but I’ll definitely obey your command, my darling.”

You watched him as he used his fingers to bind the towel to his body. The room was filling with steam once more and you were choking on the humidity. Mostly. His eyes glossed over you, a sheen of something over them. His fingers trailed from your waist, down your hips and to the hem of his your shirt.

“How about we dispose of this for the time being?” His tongue flicked out to wet his lips. Your heart thundered in your chest. This man. He’d certainly be the death of you - figuratively or quite literally, you weren’t sure.

“Alright.” You whispered. Your eyes locked with his and with a slow, yet swift movement, he pulled the material up and over your head. It landed somewhere but he was otherwise occupied now, looking your body over once more.

“You didn’t even wear underwear to bed?” He raised his eyebrow, “my goodness. You minx.”

“What can I say?” You shrugged, “it’s much more freeing.”

He chuckled deeply. A pink tint adorned your face and he knew that you were a little embarrassed to be so bare before him. He hadn’t realised up until this moment when his eyes scanned you that he’d accidentally left a pink blossom on your neck which was beginning to bloom purple. A wicked and smug smile crossed his lips.

“Go and get in,” he whispered the command and you did so, not without trailing your fingers against his torso as you moved past him. He turned, enchanted, taking in the back angles of your body. You truly were a goddess. There was no other explanation that was feasible.

His eyes became greedy, watching the way the glass began to steam once more as hot beads of water began to cascade over you. You sighed at the feeling. Ducking your head under the jet of water, your hair became wet immediately. When you threw your head back with a gasp, Dracula very almost lost all control. The way your hair stuck to you perfectly, strands accentuating the curves of your upper body, water streaming from the ends and washing over every single curve of you.

Your cheeks were now red from the heat of the water and you were tugged backwards suddenly by his hands. Your back became flush with his chest and his lips came down to attack your shoulders. His hands ran against your skin, careful not to touch anywhere he’d know you’d like a little too much. How had he ended up this lucky?

“I didn’t even need a shower today. I had one last night.” You grumbled, but you were savouring his touch.

“You’re keeping me company.” He hummed against your skin.

You turned in his arms, wrapping your own firmly around his neck so that you could stand on your toes with support. You were a little closer his height now. His hands trailed along your back, feeling every inch of skin yet he remained adamant to not touch you where you were beginning to crave it most.

“Maybe I didn’t want to.” You began to press kisses to his collarbones.

“Maybe I didn’t want you to, either, yet here we are.”

He drove you backwards and your back hit the wall, behind where the water was coming from the shower head. The wall was freezing and eased your body where the heat was making it uncomfortably hot. You lowly groaned at the sensation and Dracula began his kisses on your neck, your shoulders, and the first few inches of your chest. Your fingers knitted into his hair, your lips parted slightly and shit, a familiar warmth spread to your gut.

“Drac,” you gasped and he stopped, pressing his body into yours. What kind of game was he playing?

“Yes, [First]?”

“You know, we could totally just...” you trailed off, hoping he’d be able to finish your sentence himself. You bit your lip, anticipating his response.

“Well, we aren’t.” He chuckled lightly, “wasn’t it you that just said no funny business? Look at you now, practically begging for me.”

“You’re the one who started this.” You pouted.

“Actually, you are. Had you not been outside of the bathroom at all, I never would have felt the desire to have you join me. But if you’re going to get greedy and expect more than I’m willing to offer, then I suggest that you go and get yourself ready for our outing.”

“Alright.” You almost pushed past him, stomping out of the shower and plucking up the shirt at you neared the door. If he was going to play games with you, you would finish it. Even if that meant by yourself.

“Oh, and [First],” he called and you snapped your head around to look at him sharply, he was grinning, “don’t do anything that you would prefer me to do. I will know, and there will be consequences.”

~^*^~

An hour later and you were finally ready to leave. You had eaten, and gotten yourself dried and dressed. Due to the intense August heat, you had opted for a sundress that showed off the bottom halves of your legs and exposed your arms and your chest and your back. Dracula liked it very much, but he had put up a fight about you wearing it outside where other men could so freely look at you.

One thing that had genuinely shocked you was Dracula’s newest addition to his résumé - driving. He had surprised you approximately a week ago by picking you up from the gym in a shiny, brand new Jag. Apparently he had felt the need to learn this skill to fit in a little more and to make his way to you when he found out you had gone northward without the papers reporting on a large black beastly hound walking the length of the M1.

He couldn’t have looked more bougie if he tried. His suit, a little more causally worn than usual with the first two buttons undone and exposing his chest just a little, the suit jacket right over the top and open to show no waitcoat like usual. He had opted for some glasses today and had your mouth been open, you’d be drooling all over the centre console.

“Stop looking at me like that, I’m finding it hard to concentrate.” He stated lowly.

“Don’t look so fucking good them.” You crossed your arms and looked ahead instead at the streets of London rushing by.

“I can’t help it. It’s my thing.” You scoffed at his words.

“It is not your thing, you do it on purpose.” You huffed at him.

“I’ve been caught.”

“... why don’t we just pull over for like ten minutes?”

“[First], I am not pulling over.” He told you, “get a grip of yourself, woman.”

He laughed. He was not getting away with toying with you all morning. He had made it his mission when you had woken up to ignite every inch of your skin with his touch, he had hovered his lips over yours, he had done everything in his power to make you feel weak in the knees and you had finally had enough.

Reaching over, your hand came to rest right between his legs and his laughter faded with a soft “ah,” and he couldn’t help the smallest moan that left his lips. His head automatically threw back and he had to will himself to keep his eyes on the road. He spoke your name dangerously. It was a warning to stop. He’d had his fun, it was your turn. You began to slowly and tantalisingly move your hand along his length. He drew in a breath. It had been a very long time since this had occurred and the sudden recollection of the feeling drove him so quickly to the edge of insanity that he thought he would crash the car. A shaky breath left his lips, his eyes fluttered shut and he sucked in his bottom lip between his teeth.

Your smirked proudly. Who knew vampires still worked anatomically? And could still feel the pleasure?

Well, you learnt something new everyday. This was your TIL.

A fire began to burn in the pit of his stomach and he couldn’t concentrate on anything except for the feeling of your hand. He genuinely wanted to cry. Eyes flickering to the rear view mirror, he made sure that there wasn’t a car behind him and slammed on the breaks. Your body became restrained against the seat belt and you knew to take your hand away.

“Do you have a death wish?” He growled, turning to face you. Fuck, how did anger make him even more attractive than to begin with?

“Well, my boyfriend once told me that his dick would kill me, so yes, yes I do.” His face softened. You had never called each other official names yet. It just hadn’t been discussed.

“Your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, I know. He’s a right catch. The only problem with him is that he’s spent all morning riling me up and I’ve had nothing to show for it.” You dramatically sighed.

“He sounds like an arsehole.” Dracula mused, playing along.

“He really is. I still love him, though.”

Before Dracula could lean over and crash his lips to yours like he wanted to, a car behind him honked and he was forced to simply smile and gloat over the fact that you had finally confessed that you loved him, too.

~^*^~

The first half of your outing went swimmingly well. Dracula was all smitten, insistent on holding your hand as you wandered around the shops just looking at everything. You were pulling him around like an excitable puppy, into every store to show off some of the greatest things humanity had created since the 1800s.

When it came to around lunchtime, Dracula inquired into your current hunger status, and you had denied his offer to eat. You hadn’t been shopping in so long and you always found it fun to just see what things were on sale.

It was, however, in the midst of the lunchtime slump as most people made their way to the food court that the worst was destined to happen. His voice had called out to you, as Dracula had his back turned towards you. It didn’t look as though you were together considering the space and the fact that you were looking away from each other. Your head snapped over.

“Hey, what’s a pretty thing like you being out alone? Wouldn’t you prefer some company?” You clutched your bag and you heard the click of Dracula’s shoes as he turned to look at the commotion behind him.

“Actually, I’m uh, I’m-“

“Here, I’ll treat you.” His hand came out and grasped your wrist.

“No, really-“

Dracula’s hand suddenly planted over his and you looked over to see a deadly look on his face. If looks could kill. The eyes of the gentleman currently trying to steal you away from him flashed with fear.

“She isn’t interested.” Dracula spoke very clearly, very slowly and made sure to make himself look as tall as possible. You shrunk down a little.

“Come on, man, don’t get involved.” Clearly whoever this man was, was an idiot.

“Don’t get involved?” Dracula scoffed, “some filthy vermin has its hand on something that belongs to me. So I suggest that you remove it.” With some force, he squeezed and you felt the pressure in your arm. It released as Dracula pulled the man’s hand off of you.

“Fuck this.” He grumbled and slumped away as quickly as he could.

Well, that was the trip ruined. Dracula’s mood had soured. Just as you needed his good mood to help you with your shopping, it had very quickly wilted. It wasn’t going to stop you, however, as you tugged him into the first of many clothing stores. Within minutes, he had almost become your personal shopping cart, carrying all of the things that you wanted to try on. His face was gloomy and blue and you must’ve looked a right sight. A tall and handsome man with the hump and a grumpy face, wrapped around the finger of a cheerful and upbeat girl as he carried all of her goods and let her do as she pleased. Quite the sight, indeed.

In the changing rooms, he became the epitome of boyfriend as he perched on the leather chair that he had picked, waiting for you to do whatever you had to do. Every few minutes or so, you’d pull back the curtains to reveal the clothes you had in and he’d grunt in response or make a blunt remark. His sour mood became old quick and you knew that you were going to have to further piss him off just to make him happier again.

So you bought the clothes that you liked and moved on to the next store, deciding to pick a few more revealing items, more form fitting and lower cut. Every time you moved on to a new store, the amount of ridiculous items began to outnumber the clothes that you’d actually wear. It wasn’t until you drew back the curtain and was standing there in a dress made of fishnet that Dracula snapped. He couldn’t believe you’d stand there in public, your body on display with just your underwear protecting your most intimate features. It accentuated your curves so well and he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you so revealed. Especially not some lowlife like the man from earlier.

He almost tore your arm off, storming past the cash register as he threw the money down, and then he ripped off his jacket, placing it around you and warning you to do the buttons up. He didn’t speak a word to you in the car.

Holy shit, you were in trouble.

~^taglist^~

@vampiregirl1797 @avalanet @bunnyreese12 @nerdonpluto @teamceleries @grifffins @hitbythunder @winterseoul @mymagicsuitcase @angeli-fucking-cat @benedictethegoddess @bloodhon3yx @nifflersravenclaw @writteninthestars288 @labelladrama @frankcastlesgrunts @angelicdestieldemon @quakerlasss @aliisa-jones @wolverinexmenn @clairedragonessbaker @cryiner @mitsukatsu @piratewhore @your-pixels-are-showing @tardisnesss @ladydovahkiin180 @catwomom @god-of-dramatic-death-scenes @th3rah @viper-queen @mephdcosplay @greghouse7 @faeprinces @kokoro-no-yami @trishaferdream @therealmoni @crazytxgradstudent @sansthelonelypunster @crowley-needs-a-hug @girlonfireice @wasntpriscilla @ivanna6026

[homosexualadventure]

every single lmam song, ranked.

i just finished listening to let’s make a music for the first time, and Oh My God it rocks. it’s a great podcast and if you’re reading this without having listened to it...i don’t know what to tell you. i don’t know what you think lmam means. but, that aside, if you haven’t listened to it yet: go listen to it! it’s not a crazy long podcast, overall or episode length-wise, so it’s manageable even for people who usually can’t handle podcasts (like me!) anyways, now that it’s over, what’s left for me to do with my time and energy that i used to spend thinking about lmam?

listen to the episodes again so that i can rank all fourty-one songs from worst to best, of course. so that’s exactly what i did.

i mostly ranked these on my gut feeling, because i didn’t come up with the idea of ranking it on a set of points before like...five minutes ago. there’s a bit of personal bias in here, so if you disagree with me on rankings, hey! send me an ask, or a dm. we can talk about it. 

so, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it! let’s...make a ranking. haha. that’s just a fun little lmam joke for you. 

41. the roquefort stank

this song only gets points for laura’s stanky noises in the background. i love laura.

40. shan’t he shanty

weirdly catchy. for a sea shanty, that is. that’s all i have to say.

39. well, i’m on child...

i do love a good gay song about polyamory but it just wasn’t enough in this case. truly heartbreaking. 

38. dog trash

i’m not a big fan of polka in general. that’s all i have to say. i don’t have to explain all my decisions. this is my journey. and it’s your journey that you’re taking with me.

37. echoes of wednesday

it’s not my favorite but i do think it’s sweet and i like all the laura vocals. also the zuko vocals. 

36. brothers in legs

not their best character song but it’s still a song you could quietly headbang to. i just don’t love full story ballads (there is an exception to this, you’ll see) most of the time. 

35. ol’ tim’s tricks

i’m not saying it’s a bad song, i’m just saying it sounds like it was once in a made for tv disney channel-esque movie about a girl who finds her calling in sports and friendship.

34. don’t give me that altitude

very queen-esque with general 80s vibes and i like that.

33. dreamless

if it was longer i think it would be a lot higher on the list, because it’s Good. but i don’t feel right putting a 45 second song above, like, tobie’s razor. still! i love the mellow, kind of sad and eerie tones of it.

32. holiday crime!

look i know this one’s fairly low on the list, hear me out: it’s a good song and it’s pretty memorable as well! but as far as holiday songs go, i don’t think it’s their best or most iconic one. laura’s laughing and beat in the back is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming, though.

31. mr. dad

this one gets a higher rating than the previous holiday song for its good good harmonica and because when i heard the lyrics “but you love to watch him go” used to describe mr. dad i almost toppled my chair backwards with me still in it.

30. mourning ritual

the biggest load of 1980s bullshit i’ve ever heard in this decade. somehow it’s also got a big panic! at the disco vibe and i’m not sure how i feel about it but it’s definitely Strongly There and i can’t deny it.

29. outback sadhouse

it’s RIDICULOUS how well they nailed the sufjan stevens vibe with this one. plus the restaurant dialogue bit in the back of the song really adds a lot. 

28. let down my better dynamite

it’s really easy to bop to and the instrumental in the background is FANTASTIC! jonah really killed it with this one. plus they talk a lot about rats in the episode which is nice for me because i love rats. also it’s the first episode with an instance of “brian does a bit”.

27. the tale of the greazzy creek

i just think it absolutely nails the vibe of a rural campfire grizzled old cowboy song while also being a really catchy theme song. like, i think you could’ve snuck it into holes (2003) and i would’ve been like, yeah, that sounds right. 

26. turn around and come down slowly

not one of their more iconic songs but brian’s voice is so pretty in this and it’s really soothing. 

25. ratless randy’s

i don’t know why it’s this high on the list either, but it is. ratless randy’s really IS the place to be, guys.

24. tobie’s razor

i will be honest. when i saw the title for this episode for the first time i just thought “occam’s razor” and as i type this i can’t even think of what that actually is, so..... anyways, i’d say this song absolutely NAILS the vibe but i have no idea what vibe it’s even remotely related to. certainly does nail the internal childhood monologue though. i think this song is the first one where they really started hitting their stride, also. not that it’s better than some of the earlier ones, but this one forward their songs were pretty consistently high quality. plus, and no one will be surprised by this by now, it gets extra points for laura. 

23. armoire of royals

it’s weird, it’s synthy, has a vaguely billie eilish-esque part near the end which is not necessarily a point in favor depending on your taste but it Definitely is surprising and cool, and it’s got fake british accents. what more do you need out of a song?

22. sybil’s night scare

the piano in this is perfect and fantastic and the comedic timing in the song is just right. jonah’s delivery of “they’re actually real human eyes” is so goddamn good and his singing is Also great and frankly i think we can all agree we’re fucking tired of him saying he can’t sing. i mean, i assume (i fucking hope) he’s stopped saying that by now considering he had the majority of vocals on silo by a bit but Still. it’s a good peppy halloween-y song.

21. chalice for your thoughts

two spooky songs in a row! honestly, i’m not sure what reasons i have for ranking this song as high as i did. i just like it a lot. they were able to include a lot of weird twitter suggestions fairly seamlessly, and it’s just soft and pretty. spooky, but still pretty. 

20. 21st blitheday

i admit it: i fucking hate the voice brian uses in this. but i really, really like the song. the beat’s very good and somehow brian still manages to sing the chorus well and make it sound nice even though his affectation is Stupid as hell <3 the background whistling is nice and his robot voice, which he’s used for several of his videos but i think most notoriously for scrundler in his week in revue series (here), is also featured. it’s a real bop, i think.

19. monday night boomball

i genuinely think this is their weirdest song, ever. it’s incomprehensible and it’s so fucking theatre kid of them, and it’s dumb as shit but it’s really funny and enjoyable and strange and i love it.

18. gentle light

this is a really good song. it’s not weird or funny, it’s genuinely just a really soft, calming, normal song. i can’t in good conscience rank it above the others for this reason, because it’s easier to make a regular song good than it is for a song about fucking a tree, but i want to be clear: i really love this song. it’s a song that you could fall asleep to, cry to, cuddle up in a blanket to, whatever the hell you want to do to it.

17. proud egg mouth

extra points for fitting the word “maw” in any kind of song, a feat i’m not sure anyone else has ever accomplished. also for brian actually singing with an egg in his mouth.

16. you can take that to the bank

brian does an incredible randy newman impression and i love him for it. also it’s just a good song! it’s not my favorite but it’s very pleasing to my ears and it’s well made.

15. rainbow trout eggs

i listened to a shit ton of colbie caillat in middle school and i can tell you with confidence that the lyrics “i feel so alive and i know that i’m happy na na na na na hey hey” would be in one of her songs. it’s a good song with completely ridiculous lyrics and it’s a better character/full story ballad than their previous ones, in my opinion. which is what you’re specifically here for!

14. car mitzvah

i think this is a song my dad would listen to if it came on the radio. i also think it deserves to be in an early 90s or maybe coming of age movie. brian’s vocals are fantastic in this, also.

13. dr. brims

“it’s a new year, Ha Hah!” this song is sooooo fucking funny and exemplary of a lot of their other songs that came afterwards. i’ve been saying that a lot i think. writing reviews is hard.

12. let’s make a music (theme song)

maybe it’s the emotional value of this song being the song i associate most with the podcast, since it’s the theme song, or maybe it’s just really good. (spoiler: it’s both but mostly the second one) the episode is also really funny in general and if you’re new to the podcast and don’t care about order, i highly recommend this one first! 

11. heartbreak in michael’s

a very very very good sad gay love song and i recommend it to the ends of the earth! because this is the internet, and i can!

10. arbor day!

you try making a horny song about deforestation.

9. why don’t you like our song title?

such a fucking bop and showcases their skill for just doing whatever the hell they want and STILL making a fantastic song or video or whatever. they just stop saying words in it and it does not take anything away from the song. could you do that? i mean...maybe! but for the sake of this review and my point i’m gonna be like fuck you no you couldn’t. moving on.

8. akimbo

the backing track in this is ABSOLUTELY what makes the song. plus that one video of brian strutting but technically that can’t affect my review of the song because Technically it’s not part of the song. anyways it’s really peppy and fun and enjoyable and Good.

7. heartbreak in michael’s (reprise)

it’s the perfect finale song. like, it genuinely sounds like the song that plays at the end of a romcom after everything’s finally worked out. i Did cry when i heard brian sing the theme song at the end but that’s just because i’m a sentimental son of a bitch. so besides that ending bit that i can(’t) guarantee will make you tear up at Least, it’s really fucking fun! it’s upbeat and happy and i think they made the right song to go out on. or to go on a hiatus on, if brian’s website is to be believed. i don’t believe it, but hypothetically, y’know? hypothetically...

6. debutaunt ball

if the met gala doesn’t make this their theme song i will personally burn next year’s event to the ground, i swear to god. also it’s a good song to show off both jonah and brian’s range. it’s not like a lot of their other songs but it’s SUCH a banger and i adore it.

5. madame zamporium’s wax emporium 

fuck yeah. learning that the “ooh come on baby” from several unraveleds came from a let’s make a music is the reason i finally started listening to the podcast in the first place. but BESIDES that, since that’s not a reason for my ranking (just a fun little fact about me!), this song slaps a ridiculous amount. they went insanely hard and it’s the first song they made that really sets the tone of the podcast, which is: great comedy, great high production music. 

4. alan rickman’s edible zoo

GOD! the anti-celebrity, anti-capitalist rock song i’ve been waiting all my fucking life for! also it’s anti-america but only in one lyric. but in Another sense....throughout the whole song. PLUS, and most importantly, it features jonah’s literally and i mean LITERALLY impeccable alan rickman impression. like, it’s fucking bulletproof. alan rickman was in the goddamn room. 

3. horsecar!

look. when this song started playing for the first time i went...fuck no. in general i don’t tolerate country or cowboy songs very well because they just don’t sound appealing to my ears most of the time. i put up with country road only because of a funny mario edit someone made of it and now the original song has more value to me. this is relevant only because the same thing happened with horsecar! in that the chorus KICKS ASS. i may make a post on just my favorite lmam songs and also this is already a crazy long post so i won’t go into it too much but i will say this. the shock value of going from the first verse in this song to the chorus is...........Incredibly high and it Works So Fucking Well! it literally makes the song. and not even just for the short term value of Oh My God That’s A Twist, it lasts through the whole song. i’m listening to the song as i type this and i’m currently at the country/cowboy part and i don’t hate it because i know the chorus is incredible. in fact, i’d argue that the chorus on its own may be the best thing lmam ever made, even better than my two actual favorite songs of theirs. i’m definitely going to have to make a full post on this. (SIDE NOTE: BRIAN’S VOCALS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND HORSECAR! IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS. his goddamn RANGE!! SIR!!! his falsetto is literally ridiculous my pants are OFF)

2. dragon me to this wedding

this is what i meant when i said there’s an exception to the “i’m not generally a fan of full story ballads”, because this is one of my all time favorite lmam songs. as in, it’s in the top three. which i guess you can tell from it being number two in the top three. in fact, it’s probably one of my favorite songs in general. the first time i listened to the episode i went back and listened to the song again three times in a row, and all three times i cried real tears. it’s GAY it’s REALLY PRETTY and i LOVE IT. 

1. save 2 4 tony

so we’ve finally made it to my all-time favorite lmam song. maybe it’s that i recently graduated myself and so this song hits a little harder, but it also just GOES hard. i genuinely think they peaked when they recorded this. it’s one of those bdg songs where you’re listening to it, you’re just chilling, and it’s like “yeah wow this is nice!” and all of a sudden he hits a falsetto and you go “oh FUCK that guy can SING!” literally his vocals in this are incredible and it’s very fun (and on brand) that the Oh Fuck moment here is the line “tony hawk babeyyy!” plus jonah killed it on the backing and composition and everything. it’s the best let’s make a music song and i won’t take constructive criticism.

[absoluteyoongit]

just dance [2]

⇢ pairing: bestfriend!Hoseok x dancer!Reader, more pairings to come

⇢ genre: fluff, some angst

⇢ word count: 3.3K

⇢ warnings: just some swearing

⇢ series summary: Jung Hoseok, your best friend since childhood, is one of the best parts of your life. You have always supported him with everything, including his band BTS. Hoseok always kept you a secret from the rest of the group, but now he’s ready to introduce you to everyone. Who knew your presence would improve the members lives, one more than others.

⇢ author’s note: sorry for the delay. I am working on a schedule for this so I can post regularly! banner made by the talented @purpleskies1999​

_________________________________________________________________

Heavy breathing filled the otherwise silent studio, marking the end of BTS’ dance practice for the day. The boys had spent the past three hours straight working and all of them wanted a break.

Hoseok, regaining composure first, patted all the members on the back. After a ‘good job’ here and ‘better than yesterday’ there from their dance leader, signaled to the members that they could leave.

Yoongi, first to head out feet dragging, grumbled, “I want a nap.”

“I’ll start making some dinner," Jin muttered, following after.

“Dibs on shower!" Jungkook shouted.

“No way! I called dibs before practice started," Taehyung challenged.

“That doesn’t count.”

“Yes, it does!”

The two continued arguing as Hoseok watched the rest of the members file out. Jimin glanced back, “You coming?”

“Naw” Hobi sighed, “I want to try some things out before finishing for the day.”

Jimin nodded, closing the door behind him and the room was quiet once again.

Hoseok’s eyes left the door, moving towards his phone to play the song over again. He was a perfectionist, wanting to show up for the rest of the members and to do that he needed to practice more. He hesitated before pressing play, his mind wandered; the bags under his eyes felt extra heavy right then.

Hoseok couldn't deny it anymore, he was exhausted.

He was tired of the constant busy schedule. He loved his job but sometimes the group became so busy that the nights bled into days without so much of a wink of sleep. This went on for months at a time for them; it was too much.

Hoseok felt like he couldn't slip up once. He was considered the team's constant ray of sunshine by their fans, the media and even most of the members themselves. That was the world’s J-Hope. He was always there for his brothers when they needed a pick-me-up even if they never realized sometimes he needed one too.

The break the company was giving them this upcoming weekend could be hardly called an actual break. They were taking him and the boys to a natural spring for a ‘spa day’, which sounds nice on paper but Hoseok knew it was probably to film another Run episode. While filming those with the boys was usually fun the whole group craved an actual break.

Hoseok gaze dropped back to his phone, resigning to be the dance leader he needed to be for now. Before he could resume the music they needed to hone their routine for his phone rang. Your face popped up on the screen. The photo was blurry because he was in the middle of running away from you as he took it. You had caught him taking photos and flipped him off before chasing him. You always shied away from the camera and while the other pictures from that day were amusing, nothing says y/n more than a blurry image of you giving him the bird.

Hoseok’s eyes brightened at the sight, answering it immediately.

“y/n?! I haven't heard from you in a while. What is up my friend!”

He heard your chuckle from the other end, “Ah– you know the usual, just got done working for the day on a new routine I’m figuring out.”

“I’m doing the exact same thing. We are in sync still after all this time. I am touched,” Hoseok dramatically cried, wiping a fake tear away. Your unamused silence had him jumping back to his excited demeanor, “Anyways, will you tell me what the song is? Or do I have to find out when you finally post it like everyone else?”

“HAH! You’re not special. You’re gonna have to wait with everyone else- especially cause I want this one to be a surprise.”

Hoseok huffed. He knew he would not get anything out of you. Being stubborn was probably one of your biggest character traits but that was okay– he loved riling up your stubborn side as he pestered you. Almost as much as you liked cracking his sunshine nature. That was your dynamic. You two behaved like an old bickering married couple. If anyone observed him act the way he does around you they would have thought he was another person entirely. 

Y/n brought out a whole other side to him, one that he thought was more real but the rest of the world didn't want to see. That's why you were so special to him. Besides all the good times the two of you had, you made him feel the most himself.

Your laughter died down, "Anyways I was just calling to check in on you and uh– to say that I missed you– just a little bit."

Hobi's smile turned solemn. He missed his best friend so much. The life he lived gave him few moments of reprieve, so much so he never had the time to hang or even talk with anyone besides the boys and sometimes his family, so he appreciated the little moments like this the most.

"Aish, y/n. Why do you have to turn things sad– you know I miss you so much too. I need more than just these boys hanging around me sometimes."

"I'm sure living with them, working with them and being friends with them leaves you wanting to escape sometimes– even if just a little. I know you love your boys though."

Hobi sighed, you weren't wrong. He loved the boys a lot but he wanted–no needed–some alone time. He couldn't even escape to his room if he desired because he still shared with Jimin.

You were much different than the boys. He missed dancing with you. He missed your loud laughter, he missed your constant teasing, he missed you. Maybe seeing you would shake this exhaustion away.

An idea popped into his head. He and the boys had their “weekend trip” planned but Hoseok was sure he could muster up a convincing excuse to escape it. Pure excitement and hope shot up his veins.

"What are you doing this weekend?" Hobi rushed out, effectively cutting off the rant you started about the crazy coffee lady from earlier that day.

"Oh– umm...let me think."

Hobi bit back a smile. He could imagine your thinking face as clear as day: nose scrunching up and eyes turning into slits as you looked up into the sky.

"I have a shift at work Friday night and then I teach a class at the studio Saturday mornings. I don't care about doing my homework for class, so I am free other than that. Why do you ask?" anticipation clear in your voice.

"Well because I am coming to visit you. I haven't seen you in months. So, I think I deserve some time with my favorite human."

It was your turn to smile, Hoseok hit a soft spot with that comment. You knew your friend had the biggest smirk on his face as he said that, knowing full well your soft but you don't like to show it. Comments like that make your heart constrict.

"You actually have time off? Bighit finally letting you off the leash?"

"Well not exactly. We do have the weekend off but all the boys are supposed to go on a trip together but I am going to weasel my way out for you."

You comically sob, "Oh! You'd do that for me? I can't believe the Jung Hoseok of BTS is going to escape his confinement for me. Get you a real hoe that ditches his bros for you. Hoes before bros this time."

Hoseok barked out a laugh, "Yes, the Jung Hoseok is going to abandon his bros for his favorite hoe."

"Your favorite hoe? I am your only hoe. THEE HOE. Hoseok's hoe," you challenged.

"Shit, okay, you're right you are my one and only hoe. Even though Taehyung likes to think he is sometimes."

Laughter breaks out between the two of you at your combined silliness. It felt really really good to talk to him like this. It was a rarity.

"Anyhow, when are you going to be gracing me with your presence. I know I got a pretty free schedule but I can't just stare at my door all day till you show up," you chuckled.

"When does your dance class end on Saturday? I can swing by after and we could maybe dance a little if you're not tired."

You scoff, holding two fingers up even though he couldn’t see, "There are two things I will never tire from: dancing and amusement parks."

A loud groan resonated from over the phone, "I still cannot believe I'm friends with someone who loves roller coasters. You will be the death of me."

"Hey! I ask for one thing and one thing only for my birthday, and that's for you to ride the biggest coaster at the park with me. That is not too much of an ask."

"Yah! it is for me."

"Whatever scaredy-cat. The point is that I will always have the energy to dance," you pause hearing his hum in agreement, "especially if it's with you," you end with a whisper.

Now Hoseok was even more upset than before. He needed to see you, whatever it took.

"I promise I'll get out of this trip with the boys and we can hang out this whole weekend, just the two of us."

The two of you stood in silence, only the sound of each other's breaths danced across your ears. It was weird. You knew you missed him, a lot, but talking to him now and hearing his voice felt different. There was a stronger ache in your heart, more so than you have ever felt before. You loved your best friend so much and it finally clicked in your head how much your life sucked without him in it daily.

"You better keep that promise, Jung."

"Have I ever broken a promise before?"

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Excuse me, miss? Can I order?"

Your eyes that had been staring off into space snapped to the elderly man before you.

"Oh, my apologies sir! What can I get for you?"

You smiled taking his order but as soon as he paid and left your sight the smile faded. Glancing at the watch on your wrist, the slow ticking of the hands mocking you as you stared. You had another two hours of your shift left. You huffed, shifting your legs back and forth as you anxiously waited for another customer to distract you.

You were nervous. Which was totally unlike you but for some reason, you couldn't help it. This was going to be the first time you were seeing Hoseok in months but It felt longer than that. So much longer. At least that's what you tried to convince yourself as the reason why you were nervous to see your childhood best friend.

Maebum, your favorite coworker, could see something was very wrong from just the way you fiddled with your hands. The two hands looked dry and cracked as you continuously rubbed them in front of you.

"Hey sweetie, what's up with you today? I have never seen you this wound up." her gaze on you held so much worry. You try to smile to placate her but it didn't reach your eyes.

"I am fine Mae. I just had a long week." you lie.

She gave you a pointed look that screamed 'I don't believe a word you are saying'.

You sigh in defeat. Mae's superpower was reading people and detecting bullshit, it’s what made her a great manager. That power combined with her extreme compassion meant that she was not going to let this go.

"I just had a talk with my friend that I haven't seen in a while. He told me he was going to visit this weekend and I guess I'm kinda nervous– or something like that. I don't know."

You fiddled with your fingers more, glancing around the cafe in hope a customer would come in and save you from this conversation. You were already a nervous mess, you didn't need Mae trying to pry more information and feelings out of you.

"Are you nervous because you don't think things will be the same? Or is it something else?"

Mae's eyes searched yours looking for an unspoken answer.

"I guess it’s partly that? Maybe? I don't know. I think that's partly why I am anxious because I don't know why I am nervous at all.” 

You groan in frustration "I just really miss him and hope things go okay because maybe that will mean I will see him more," you turn back to Mae with a dejected expression, "at least that is the wish anyway."

Mae softly grinned down at you, "I'm sure it'll all go well, sweetheart. If he really was your best friend seeing him will feel like the distance never existed in the first place."

At that assurance, your heart swelled. She was right. This wasn't the first time you saw Hoseok after a long break. Things were never awkward or weird, so why should this be any different.

"You know what, that actually helped a lot. Thank you Mae." a large grin plastered on your face. 

She reached up and ruffled your hair, "Anytime sweetie."

Turning back to register you excitedly greet the next customer who walks in, ready to take their order. The rest of your shift passed quick after Mae’s intervention. Her words really did help but a small part of you could not ignore the subtle soreness of your heart. It felt as if careful hands cradled it, applying pressure that made it impossible to take a deep breath. You hoped those hands would not crush it.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Hoseok was nervous. That much was certain as his legs bounced from his seat on the shared living room couch.

Yoongi had been silently watching Hoseok from the other side of the room for some time now. It was very strange to see his friend this worked up and it alarmed him a little. Not enough to make a scene but enough to make a mental note to talk to Namjoon about it later.

Taking a sip from his iced coffee, Yoongi wondered what Hoseok could be worried about. Was it the new routine the group was learning? He noticed how the dancer had stayed late at the dance studio after regular practice was over. Yoongi's lip jutted out. No, it couldn't be that. The routine was difficult but nothing the rest of the boys couldn't handle learning on their own. Was it the trip that they were planning to go on tomorrow? Yoongi knew it was still technically work, as much as he hated that, but it was still supposed to be a lowkey weekend. One that all the boys desperately needed.

Yoongi and Hoseok were now both lost in their own thoughts when the two maknaes entered the room.

Jungkook and Taehyung stopped in their tracks as they eyed their two silent hyungs from the doorway. Comically looking back and forth between the two brothers with wide eyes.

"Hey, Tae-hyungie? What do you think they're doing" Jungkook whispered, leaning towards his older brother.

Taehyung continued looking between the hyungs in the living room. One was staring off into space and the other’s whole body was vibrating from how fast his legs were bouncing.

"I have no idea, Kook. We just came for the snacks, remember. Stick to the mission." Taehyung reminded him, patting Jungkook’s chest and starting forward. 

Jungkook held him back, "Hyung– look at them. They look like they could use some brotherly love." The maknae gave Tae a pointed look and gestured for him to save Yoongi from whatever spell he seemed to be under.

Tae huffed, upset he wasn't getting his snacks anytime soon, but willingly trudged over to his older friend. Taking another look at him Taehyung noticed Yoongi chewing on the straw in his iced coffee, something he never does, and his eyes scrunched in deep thought.

Pulling the now empty coffee cup out of his hyung's hands he finally got Yoongi's attention.

"Taehyung? When did you get here?" Yoongi blinked in confusion. He definitely did not register the maknaes entering the room. He was still too focused on Hobi and why he could be so stressed out right now.

"Me and Kook wanted some snacks before we watched the next episode of our drama but when we got here both of you looked so out of it. Is everything okay?" Taehyung's eyebrows creased in concern.

Yoongi’s shoulders slumped. He didn't know if everything was okay. All he knew was that Hobi was anxious for some reason and that worried him.

"Hobi has been sitting there for the past hour either looking straight ahead or looking at his phone. I haven't seen him this stressed in a while."

Taehyung scowled, he hated seeing the dancer with a frown on his face, it was unnatural.

Their gazes landed on the backs of the maknae and their distressed dancer across the room. Hopefully, Jungkook could bring out a little spring in Hoseok's step today.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Hyung? Whatever’s going on seems to be upsetting you."

"Aish Jungkook, you just won't let up will you? If you really want to know, fine. I don't want to go on the trip tomorrow. I really don't want to and I have been sitting here for who knows how long trying to think of an excuse to tell you all and especially the company."

Hoseok dropped his head with a sigh, rubbing his neck, "I didn't want to make you guys upset or anything I just wanted an actual break, ya know. I want to talk to our managers to see what we can do about it. I hope it's not too late because I don't plan on going anywhere tomorrow even if they have to drag me."

One thing that he didn't admit to the boys was the plan to stay with his best friend this weekend instead of them. How was he going to make an excuse to not spend time with them this weekend? Even if he could convince the company to let them have a break. He wanted to keep you a secret. The special way you made him feel was for himself only. He didn't care that he was being selfish. He knew the moment he introduced you to the group it would no longer be just Hoseok and Y/n. He already shared so much with the boys, why couldn't he be selfish just this once?

The room fell back into silence. The rest of the boys were shocked by Hoseok's admission. They knew he was the happy type that always went with the flow. They never thought he never got stressed but they have never seen him this dejected and drained.

"I am sure we can talk to the company about this Hyung." 

Hoseok turned and looked over his shoulder at Taehyung, eyes tired. "I don't know. It's really last minute and we are supposed to leave tomorrow. I don't think the company would let us opt out of it. I was planning on pretending I was sick or something."

Yoongi's eyebrows scrunched more. It was that serious that Hoseok was prepared to fake an illness to get out of the trip.

"We can talk to the others. I am sure they would prefer an actual weekend off compared to what our manager is promising."

"Yeah! With all of us protesting we may actually convince them you know."

The tired dancer looked at each of his brothers in the eye and let out a breath. "Alright. Let's go talk with the others."

The other three all stole a glance at each other as Hoseok got up from the couch and strode out of the room to his bedroom. None of them said anything but each knew they had to call off this trip somehow, some way. They needed to give their most hardworking friend the break he deserved. 

"Who's going to call our manager?"

"Not me!"

"Aish you two, just get Namjoon to do it."

[previous]~[next]

[huntsman-ash]

LiveThoughts: RWBY V8E6

Second attempt at this since last time Chrome just DIED for no reason...

Im going to put literally the entire thing with Cinder under one note; Called it.

Its a great set of stuff, sure, but it doesnt relaly tell us anything we didnt already know about Cinder, and I personally feel it doesnt really explain why she turned out the way she did. I feel like we’ve had another weird twist of the situation again...M+K? Coronas fault? Who knows. Either way, this section isnt great by my taste and I kinda skipped most of it. 

Few things to note though; Apperently in Mistral scrubbing by hand is still more viable floor cleaning tech than using Dust.

The wind vane on the roof has the Rooster Teeth symbols rooster on it. 

The hotel Cinder is bought by is named the Glass Unicorn, fittingly enough for...several reasons. 

The coffees behind the stepsisters when we first see them are the animated versions of the real life stuff RT put out just before this season went live. 

No one seems to notice the fact cinder has orange eyes. I wonder if weird eye colors are just a THING in Remnant?

The control collar/shock thing is incredibly inefficient in design, since it doesnt actually hold on to her very well. A more effective brace/choker design would have worked better.

The song that goes on during all of this is...kind of obvious and a little bland? Fitting for younger Cinder I guess. 

Mmm. Random greasy huntsman. 

I guess in Atlas its fine to laugh at struggling teenagers?

Im going to assume there’s a 3+ year gap here where she gets older, cause she stops being smol and gets closer to how we see her now.

Also even here, in Atlas...really? The most effective way to clean these carpeted floors is to have a TEENAGER SCRUB THEM BY HAND?

How do you scrub...I assume its carpet anyway?

And how you tell civilians are lame in Atlas; they are impressed...by a sword.  Just a sword. A boring, half-cut sword. Losers.

I assume this would be Cinder’s semblance manifesting. Also note on the desk; “we do not serve faunus”. Well THAT doesnt surprise me.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Get fucked Cinder. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I dont even feel pity for her, this is funny to me.  Also the fact that this kind of shit aCTUALLY EXISTS is...amusing to me. Like, really? So I guess indentured servitude is a thing in Remnant too. 

And this is why Cinder likes to use swords. Really. Wow. LAMEO.

Huh. Dual maces. Interesting. Thats a prety cool weapon.  Looks like they open up too. Bet he could bash some skulls with that.

“Hurting them isnt going to make your life any better”. Um, excuse me? I think hurting them is the very best thing to do in this situation. At least, for the moment anyway. 

Huh. So she’s ten at this point? Even as a child, shes older than she looks. 

And training montage. Huh. Or at least I assume it is. I get the feeling being able to go where you want too and do what you want too is the main reason Hunters exist. There must be crazy tight immigration laws...or, maybe, its just that traveling between kingdoms is stupid dangerous cause of Grimm. I think the latter is most likely considering every form of public transit extra-kingdom we’ve seen (even between cities, see Argus Limited) has some kind of defensive weaponry. Limited and ineffective, for th emost part oddly.

So you can take the exam at 18. Okay cool. Pre-that must be prep school. Wonder what happens if you wash out? Also I like how this dude is just “yeah, 7 years of training, we got this.”

I think this is the first time we’ve seen the other side of the moon. Or at least, the proper other side...bloody hell I STILL dont know how all those piesces are still held in place, the thing looks like it should start yeeting bolides at Remnant. 

Better still we see it MOVE, rotate in time to the passing of years. So it literally does rotate on its own axis, and more importantly, unlike OUR moon, its NOT tidally locked. We only ever see the same side of our moon. REmnants rotates MUCH faster. Also it doesnt seem to have phases like ours does. I’ll check on why that is. 

Well at least we have an explanation for why Cinders so damn good at fighting people. Trained by an Atlas Huntsman.

Also as a note the device is quite literally just an electrical Dust crystal attached to a necklace. Things the most inefficent torture device Ive ever fucking seen. 

Wonder how often they have to change the crystal.

And there goes the moon rotating again.

I like how NO ONE comment on the blade going missing and that guy never came back for it. I guess he must have just bought a new one.

I get the very distinct feeling they wont just let her go honestly, permission or not. 

AWWW WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE CINDER MURDER THE SISTERS. Also no blood. Odd.  Good kill on the  stepmother though. Oh, that NECK CRACK.  I like how all the bitch can do is try and shock Cinder, like, uh...adrenaline up? SHE HAS A SWORD? MAYBE FIGHT BACK?

Hah. Weak ass fuckin Atlas people.  Also the clock going off in the back ground twelve times. How fitting. Welcome to midnight. 

Also shes kind of glowing here cause the room is dark, and I find it amusing this is probably the last time she wears white.

And THERES the Cinder we know

Sick ass music, cool. Also THAT is an interesting semblance...I guess he turns himself to metal? Also DAMN his aura broke after THAT? Hes a Huntsman...ah who cares. Again probably in Cinders memory more than anything. Which at this point is probably about as reliable as a coked up hookers.

SHANKED. Sucker. You shoulda seen THAT one coming.

And thats all it took to get the shock collar off. Lol. 

So what happened to the hotel? Did they just...write it off? I mean four people got murdered in there...

And now we’re back on the whale. HOW THE SCREAMING FUCK DID CINDER JUST...

Wow. She just got up after eating that blast. Fucking plot armor.

Merc making the hard calls honestly.  Im actually gonna watch all of this now which is nice because I want to know whats happening in the real world. PITY MORE THAN HALF THE EPISODE WAS THIS FUCKING FILLER.

I like how Cinder just...goes quiet the moment she realizes shes lost Mercury. Not that he was USEFUL mind you but if I had to guess she liked being the boss. But now shes...basically back where she started. 

So the whale is basically a ship. It has a bridge. Probably Salems throne room.

Man, Oscars literally just RTs punching bag this season isnt he? Literally in this case. 

His clothes are still scortched too which I find interesting.  The black eyes also staying. Auras not back up then? Aura repair and regen seems...werid half the time. Like RT does what they want with it.

Ah so someone finally says it...but at the same time what exactly does Salem have to fear? If she cant fight the whole world...what could they do? Maybe overwhelming her? It...Im having a hard time putting the “she cant be stopped” with “shes afraid of fighting all of Remnant”. 

Somethings missing here. I know it.

The sound of the “door” opening reminds me of the Flood doors in High Charity in Halo 3s Cortana. Fleshy twisting.

Mention from Hazel, but AGAIN...no details. I guess if you nail down how she can do stuff its harder to write? 

Glad someone made a comment on the futility of the Hunter academies. 

I really hate how Salems giving us creepy mommy shades. 

Hmm. So yeah the bridge IS the throne room/command deck. I like how Neo doesnt give a fuck is just casually kneeling. 

Ah okay THATS why he grabbed the scroll. 

Heh. Interesting. How exactly does this work I wonder. 

...Why does Salem have a ring. Has she always had that ring?

Neo looking at the Hound like “oh, I could ride this thing”. 

Oh cool the Ace Ops. And they’re arguing, shocker. Sounds like Elm doesnt trust tech either. No shock there.  Idiot.

Atlas elite. Yeah, right.

Huh, is this a Manta with landing gear? I guess they do have them...seems kind of silly to have them so high up though. I guess thats what the thing under the door is for, so they can deploy a ramp. Man, I really dont like Atlas’s airship design.

Hare needs some fuckin suppresants. 

Annnnddd...here we go, things go straight to hell. I was warned of this. I am going to try and not be mad...but from what Ive heard the incomptence of the military in this particular section is astronomical.

Huh. So...Grimm can be convirted into a rock-punching liquid? Interesting. Has that always been a thing or... Also why the fuck are you jsut standing there in awe, go kill the fucking thing! Fucking Specialists.

...that is all it took to get through Atlas’s shield? THAT?

I also love how no one does anything. Ironwoods like “wait what the fuck”. Come on bro. 

And...thats the Atlas navy. Everyone. Two lasers. One of which missed. Remind me again what exactly these things are used to shoot?

Wait, no, that took down part of it, and then the rest is, surprise, hitting the soft rock on the outside. 

THERE goes the shield. 

Hang on a second, how long have those giant squid things been there?

And...what. The whale just approaches, nothing happens? You’ve got 12 fucking ships there, shoot the fucking thing.

Again, WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?

Oh, it just beach-headed. Okay fine, whatever. 

Im not really worried.

Lets see how RT makes this WORSE though...

And thats this weeks episode.

[imaginapalminthemorning]

Study Me How to Please the Eye Indeed, Ch. 2

Ch. 1 here

Warnings: cursing

Introductions Pt. 2

Jesus, that kid is a lot, Janus grumbled as he readjusted himself on the tiny bed. Five minutes and he’s trying to get me to spill my whole life story.

It wasn’t even that great a story. Just your typical troubled child— bullied, outcast, problems with authority— the usual. Why did he care? And what’s so wrong with using a nickname? Lots of people go by nicknames. Why’d he have to call him out on that of all things?

Janus wondered if Remus’s story was much different. He certainly looked like a troubled kid. Leather jacket, ripped jeans, piercings everywhere. And that stupid mustache. He looked like he belonged in a strip club. Or a porno. What the hell was he doing here?

Oh, who am I to judge someone based on their appearance? Janus groaned and shoved his face into his pillow. I certainly wouldn’t know anything about that.

Don’t fall into old habits, Dee. You’re here to make a new start, remember? Clean slate. No mistakes. No judgment.

No lying.

Hell, that’s probably why he’s here too. A new start. Rude and annoying huh? Does he get that a lot? Hah. I fucking wonder why. Well, he won’t get that from me. We’ll keep each other in check. He’s sure to call me out on my bullshit; I’ll make sure to let him. Together we can start fresh.

But for now, I need to fucking sleep.

                                   *            *            *            *            *

It was well past dark when Janus heard the door open. Remus sauntered in and slammed the door behind him, causing Janus to flinch slightly. His head was still pounding, but he tried not to look too irritated.

“You were out late,” Janus said in as calm a tone as he could muster.

“Sorry, mom,” Remus mocked. He flopped down on his bed and let out a long sigh. He didn’t seem to be in the best of moods either. Janus decided not to push the issue, and went back to the book he was reading.

Remus watched Janus read for a while. “Did you get some sleep?” He finally asked.

“Some,” Janus replied.

“That’s good.” Remus turned his gaze back to the ceiling. Funny, he’d been so talkative earlier. What happened out there?

“What have you been up to?” Janus tried casually.

“Wandering the campus. Found the science building. It’s big.”

“Is that where your classes are gonna be?”

“Yep. Chem major,” Remus continued to speak to the ceiling. Janus wondered if this was payback for being so defensive earlier.

“What about you? What are you majoring in?”

“Philosophy.”

“Oh dope. That’s tough shit. You must be pretty smart.”

“I could say the same thing about a chemistry major.”

“Yeah well, I really just wanna learn how to make a bomb,” he paused a moment, but then turned and smiled at Janus. “Kidding.”

“Funny,” Janus said flatly. This guy is so weird.

“Hey, have you had dinner yet?” Remus suddenly popped up and sat cross-legged on the bed. He bounced slightly, causing the old wire frame to creak underneath him.

Janus was caught a bit off-guard by the sudden change in demeanor. “N-No, not yet.”

“Catch.”

Remus reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a small package, and tossed it to Janus. Janus turned it over in his hands, and found it to be a package of pop tarts— strawberry flavored.

“They have a whole stand of free snacks in the cafeteria. I took a bunch of ‘em,” Remus stated as he began unwrapping his own morsel.

“Healthy,” Janus said snidely, eyeing the sugar content.

“If you don’t want it, give it back,” Remus mumbled, half of the pop tart already in his mouth.

Janus very much would have given it back, if it weren’t for his growling stomach. As well as not sleeping, he also hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. And considering how late it was, the pop tart was probably his best option.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he unwrapped the frosted pastry.

“Welcome,” Remus smiled, “figured you probably hadn’t eaten much. I’ll make sure to get something ‘healthier’ next time.”

“You got this specifically for me?”

“Of course not. I got it for me. But then I thought you might want some too, so I went back,” having practically inhaled his pastry, Remus tossed the wrapper and began work on a second one.

“That was... very thoughtful. Thank you,” Janus repeated.

“What can I say, I’m just a thoughtful guy,” Remus finished his second pack and laid back down on the bed, satisfied.

“And here I thought you were just another guy with dicks for brains.”

Remus shot a glance at Janus, surprised, but Janus just gave him an impish smile.

“Kidding.”

Remus’s face broke into a wide grin. He looked almost proud.

“I like you, Dee. I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

Janus smiled as he took a bite out of his pop tart.

“Me too.”

******

“Hey Pat, you dropped this.”

“Oh, Lollihops!” Patton plucked the stuffed frog from Roman’s hands, and carefully set it down on his pillow next to the other two.

“So you like frogs, huh?” Roman commented.

“Yeah! I know it’s weird, a grown man with stuffed animals, but I just couldn’t leave home without em! They’re like my babies!” Patton smiled at the little trio. Lollihops, Croakington and Sir Hopsalot had stuck by Patton his whole life, even when everything around him was constantly changing. He wasn’t about to let them go anytime soon.

“They’re cute,” Roman said encouragingly, and gave Lollihops a little pat on the head. “Nothing wrong with a few little cuddly companions. As long as they make you happy right?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! Thank you!” Patton beamed with excitement. It felt so good to be validated, especially by someone like Roman. He figured Roman would think he was weird, or childish; after all, he seemed so strong, and mature, and confident,

and pretty,

but he also seemed really nice and compassionate. It was clear Roman was way out of Patton’s league, but he didn’t seem to mind. Patton counted his lucky stars that he got such a good roommate.

As he did, Patton noticed a ringed notebook sitting on the desk next to his bed. It wasn’t one of his; it was red and sparkly, and had a small drawing in the lower corner— a dragon wearing a little witches hat, etched in black ink.

“Hey Roman, is this yours?” Patton asked as he picked up the small notebook off the desk. Not thinking, he opened it up and started reading a page.

Roman turned and jumped when he saw Patton reading. “Oh, that’s nothing,” he said as he snatched the book out of Patton’s hands. “Just a journal.”

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Patton said sheepishly. Come on, Pat, you should know better. That’s private!

But what he had seen had made him curious. He had to ask, “Do you write poems?”

Roman eyed Patton cautiously, still clutching the journal. He seemed to be deciding what to tell him.

“They’re... song lyrics, actually.”

“Really?” Patton’s jaw dropped, “That’s so cool! Do you sing?”

“Sort of,” Roman shifted in place, looking both flattered and embarrassed. “I’m better at guitar, though.”

“You play guitar?!” Patton’s eyes shone in excitement. “Wow! I wish I was talented like that. I can play Chopsticks on the piano but that’s about it. And you write your own songs?”

“Well...” Roman’s lack of enthusiasm was quite perplexing. What was he so embarrassed about? Patton wondered.

“I try to write songs,” Roman explained, “I haven’t finished any of them. None of them are very good anyway.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, they’re just... I don’t know, I just...”

Patton watched Roman fumble with the notebook as he fumbled over his words. Perhaps he wasn’t as confident as he looked. He needed some encouragement.

“Do you mind if I read some? I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, I get that it’s private, but...” Patton trailed off and waited for an answer.

Roman thought about it another moment, but finally relented and handed over the journal.

Patton opened it back up to the page he had seen, and read quietly. He read another page. And another. Each one was covered in beautiful phrases about love and loss, happiness and anger, risk and regret. Patton read and read, amazed at the talent and heart that was being poured out onto every page.

“These... are really good, Roman,” Patton spoke softly with wonder, “Why did you think they weren’t good?”

“I don’t know. They all sound so... cliché. Everybody writes love songs, you know? I wanna write something new, y’know, something nobody’s done before. I just always start out with an idea, but then... I start hating it halfway through. That’s why I never finish anything.”

Patton finally closed the notebook and handed it back to Roman. ���Well, I think people write about love so much because there’s so many ways to talk about it. It’s not so much what you write about, it’s how you write it, right?” He gave Roman the warmest smile he could possibly manage, “And I think you write beautifully.”

Roman’s cheeks burned red, and he looked down at the little notebook. “You’re not just saying that?”

“Of course not!” Patton dared to place a hand on Roman’s shoulder. He didn’t shy away. “I think you’re a very talented individual, Roman, and I look forward to getting to know what you’re all about!”

Roman smiled, “Thanks Pat. I... I can call you Pat, right?”

Patton smiled back, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

******

The diner was small and cramped, but in a cozy kind of way. Logan and Virgil had settled on it after assessing the state of their wallets, and were now sat at the counter, watching the chefs bustle about in the kitchen. The smell of eggs, bacon, pies, pancakes, and maple syrup hung in the air. Oldies crackled over the speakers, almost drowned out by the mumble and bumble of conversation from the other patrons. Logan’s deep voice added to the sound, as he continued to ramble about this and that. He wasn’t paying much attention to what he was saying; he was focused more on Virgil’s reaction. The boy next to him sat hunched over, eyes averted, fidgeting with his fork. He looked like he was trying very hard not to look too uncomfortable.

Logan’s heart sank. He had been so excited when Virgil agreed to accompany him; the prospects of making a new friend were slim for Logan. It was his own fault, he knew. He just couldn’t seem to relate to others— his interests never matched those around him. Even now, the boy in the dark sweatshirt and shaggy black haircut couldn’t be less interested in what he had to say. However, Logan would have to share a room with him for the next four months at least, so this was not a relationship he could afford to lose. He decided to accept defeat before the situation got any worse.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I?” Logan tried to sound pleasant and positive, and not disappointed at all.

Virgil perked up immediately. “No no, you’re fine. Sorry,” he said, almost instinctively.

Logan cocked his head, confused. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Oh, I just,” Virgil stuttered, “Sorry, I’m not— you know, sorry for not, contributing to the... the conversation... much...” his voice trailed off to a whisper as a soft pink spread across his pale cheeks.

Logan was taken aback. He had not expected an apology. What’s more, Virgil seemed embarrassed. Why would he be embarrassed?

“That’s nothing to apologize for,” Logan said earnestly, “I should be the one apologizing, I’m yammering away and not letting you get a word in.”

“Oh, that’s ok. I’m... not really a big talker,” Virgil dared a glance over at Logan, “If you couldn’t tell already.”

“Well, I tend to talk a little too much,” Logan smiled back, “If you couldn’t tell already. Just let me know if I start to annoy you. I won’t be offended at all.”

“Do people say that a lot?”

“What?”

“That you annoy them?”

Yes, thought Logan. All the time. Not in so many words, but in their actions, their reactions, and their subtle body language. A quiet sigh, a resigned look, a shallow excuse to end the conversation; no one ever mentioned it, but it was oh so clear to Logan— nobody seemed to care. No one had ever really listened. No one had tried to understand. No one had ever, ever said the words—

“You don’t annoy me,” Virgil’s voice cut through Logan’s thoughts and struck him at his core. He had set down his fork, and was staring intently at Logan with his dark eyes.

“I’m sorry if I made it seem that way. I’m just, not very good in social situations. I have a hard time talking, making eye contact and all that. But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested.” He looked down for a brief moment, and then back up again, “The truth is, I was really nervous to do this. I mean, I don’t know you. But you seem like a nice guy, and I mean, I’m gonna have to get to know you eventually, right? And if you don’t mind me being so quiet, I don’t mind just listening to you.” His cheeks flared pink again and he muttered quietly, “I really like listening to you.”

“...Oh.” Logan was struck speechless. Who was this boy, who spoke so softly, but so sincerely? Where had he learned to be so heartfelt with such simple words? Could he really be telling the truth? Logan searched his face for some semblance of deceit, but he found none. Only concern creeping up behind his eyes.

“Uh... are you ok?” Virgil asked cautiously.

“Yes!” Logan said a little too excitedly, “Yes. I just... don’t hear that very often. Thank you.”

Virgil smiled for the first time since the two had met. “No problem,” he said quietly.

As if following a cue, the waitress arrived with their orders, and the two boys turned their attention to eggs and hash browns. However, Logan’s mind continued to play the words over and over: You don’t annoy me. I like listening to you. You don’t annoy me. I like listening to you. You don’t annoy me...

Maybe, just maybe, this would be a friendship to last.

[kinghoranshit]

Tell Me a Lie (NH) Ch 3

Word Count: 2,065

Warnings: Swearing

I snapped a pretzel in half and munched on it. I dipped the other half into the small jar of peanut butter and popped it into my mouth before I flipped the piece of paper to the other side. I was deep in editing mode for Stone Cold. 

I had talked to my manager about the upcoming events since there were red carpet dates already locked down for later that year, and she approved them, along with congratulations on the romance. But I was not able to get any definitive days off to truly work on Stone Cold, so I was still back to my weird schedule to get it finished on time. 

Out of bad habit, I clicked my power button on my phone and looked at the screen for anything to distract me for a short second. There was a message from Niall. 

N: Yoo, it’s go time . 

L: Really? What about publicity photos?

N: This is gonna work better . I’m gonna use one of our old selfies . 

L: Haha You mean from backstage in Chicago? That was like 6 months ago... 

N: It’s the only recent once we’ve got , Kelly . 

It’ll work 

L: I guess you’re right.

N: I am (: 

Be ready for it . 

Now, an Instagram notification came up and I already knew who it was from. I pulled down my notifications bar to see it and tapped it. I swear my heart stopped at the caption. 

@NiallOfficial: You know I don’t like lying to you all, but I’ve kept this a secret . For the sake of wanting our first few months to be only us . Well , those few months turned into a full year . I couldn’t be happier with this woman ! She makes me feel like I’m on cloud 9 . She even makes the golf losses better haha

He’d also tagged me. It was another requirement for social media; all posts had to be tagged. I was suddenly super nervous. This was actually it. There were so many new follows, likes, and comments on my account, and people were commenting congrats underneath Niall’s; though it wasn’t hard to miss a few of the mean wishes. 

K: So…. this is really it?

N: Yup . You got this , Kelly !   

K: There weren’t that many restrictions to the socials, surprisingly…

Do I have to follow people back? 

N: Haha no ! Follow who ya want 

K: Cool

A Twitter notification popped up on my top bar. I pulled it down to see Niall had tagged me in a photo there as well, and it was similarly worded to Instagram. At least it wasn’t a total copy and paste, that wasn’t necessarily Niall’s style. The Twitter notifications also started to flow in and I knew there had to be some way to filter them or this was going to be overwhelming.

K: Please tell me there’s a way to filter the notifications 

N: Absolutely , under your settings there should be a way to just get ones of people you follow 

If you get verified , I’ll help you with those 

K: Who said anything about me getting verified? 

N: Kelly , don’t act so cavalier love . It’ll happen eventually . 

I’ll walk you through it , I had Modest to help me and you’ve got me to help you

K: Duh duh DUHHHH

N: Okay , if you don’t want it I won ‘t give it to ya 

K: You know you will anyway

You loooove me 

N: Augh

You’re right 

***

I finally gathered the courage to thoroughly go through my Twitter notifications. I figured that the most recent ones may not be necessarily nice since I had been MIA for a few days after Niall’s initial post. But could they really blame me? I didn’t think so. 

My Twitter followers went from literally 450 to 38K. Just cause I was Niall’s “girlfriend”? That’s just… I couldn’t lie, I never followed the boys’ girlfriends or PR girlfriends, whatever they were to them. I didn’t have much to say to this. 

I decided to make a tweet first before doing anything else. 

@kellygarden: Sorry I’ve been MIA y’all. About to get interactive though! How about a Q&A? Hashtag #AskKelly :) 

I used the time of people asking questions to go through some of those following me and follow a few. And when I say a few, I mean a few. I might do a follow spree at some point and do a hundred or a couple hundred people. 

I about shit my pants seeing some of those who were following me that I was already following. Like Tom Holland, all the 5SOS boys, the other lads from One Direction, and Selena Gomez. Holy shit. What? Why? I was having a hard time believing this, but I couldn’t stop a smile from crossing my lips. So unreal. 

I searched my hashtag now and looked at some of the questions, replying to some. 

@Fuckmeniall: @KellyGarden Was it love at first sight? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Fuckmeniall First off, love your @ . It was more like love at first coffee - we met at a cafe in London :)

@DamagedQueen: @KellyGarden Hw old r u? Wt do u do? #AskKely PS luv ur layout<3

@KellyGarden: Aww thanks so much! I’m 24 and a novel editor for a publishing house in London. 

@Jocylnbitch: @KellyGarden I don’t really like you, but I have a question about Niall. What’s he like in bed? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Jocylnbitch: Glad to hear your opinion about me. And I don’t think that’s any of your business. 

@Rylanroll: @KellyGarden R u a virgin? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Rylanroll Are you old enough to be asking this question? But no, I’m not.

@Hannable: @KellyGarden If you could clone yourself, would you? Why? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Hannable I would. As selfish as this is, I’d have my clone to do my work so I could go see the world and be with Nialler.

@Uplousass: @KellyGarden Have you met the other boys yet? Freddie? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Uplousass Props for the @, I’m dying! *laugh crying face emoji* I haven’t... and I’m not going to force any of them to meet me if they choose not to. 

@NiallOfficial: @KellyGarden How far are you up my ass? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @NiallOfficial I would be Hella far up if you weren’t so far up mine already :P

@Michael5SOS: @KellyGarden CAN I MEET YOU?! ASDLFKAS #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Michael5SOS DLKASLGA YEAH IF YA WANT 

@lukecummings: @KellyGarden Have you ever written fanfiction? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @lukecummings I have, but they’re cringy af. I’m not kidding on that. They will never resurface the web. 

@Astheticnolan: @KellyGarden What are you favorite smells on earth? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Astheticnolan COFFEE, books, rain, You&I perfume, flowers, Niall’s cologne

@Haywire: @KellyGarden What’s your music taste? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Haywire My music library is on crack. I could be listening to 1D, then it could go to Skillet, Ed, Counting Crows, M83, etc. It’s a wide range, except no Country.

@Luke5SOS: @KellyGarden Is that lame band 5SOS not in your music library? :(

@KellyGarden: @Luke5SOS Pft yes, yes they are in my music library. It’s full of lame bands lmfao

@Daylight5SOS: @KellyGarden Have you talked with the other boys? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Daylight5SOS Yeah, Louis. 

@Louis_Tomlinson: @KellyGarden Do look forward to officially meeting you. Freddie son says hi.

@KellyGarden: @Louis_Tomlinson I look forward to it as well. Stay safe you two x.

@Penofhope: @KellyGarden Favorite genre to write? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Penofhope Fiction. YA. Mainly Fantasy and Sci-fi. 

@Clotheswhore: @KellyGarden What's your aesthetic? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Clotheswhore By your @ I’m going to assume you mean my clothes aesthetic? I’d say it’s a little bit of everything - I can’t stick to one thing lol

@Niallsride: @KellyGarden Do you drive? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Niallsride I do. Both car and motorcycle/bikes.

@Monaymaker: @KellyGarden Do you drink? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Monaymaker I do socially.

@Harry_Styles: @KellyGarden I look forward to meeting you. Niall is a lucky guy. All the love. H. #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Harry_Styles Thank you so much, H! Soon I hope x.

@Horanyass: @KellyGarden How many kids do you want? Gender ? Would you like to have them with Niall? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Horanyass 2 or 3, any gender, and if I happen to have my kids with Niall then I’d be happy about it :)

@Styleskid: @Kellyiebabes Fave bromances of 1D and 5SOS? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Styleskid All the ones with Luke and Niall, Cashton, and Lilo. 

@5Saucelove: @KellyGarden Pancakes or waffles? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @5Saucelove Waffles all the way! X.

@Horanhasmyheart: @KellyGarden Have you heard any songs off Niall’s upcoming album? #AskKelly

@KellyGarden: @Horanhasmyheart Nope, he’s super secretive about it. I’m gonna be just as shook as all of you! Looking forward to it! 

I looked at all the ones I answered, smiling a bit at a few of them. I didn’t realize how many I answered or how much time had passed. I had to be on a work call soon, which could go until midnight because of the time difference. 

@KellyGarden: Gotta get back to work. Thank you all for the questions! I’ll be doing another one of these soon, yeah?

I didn’t wait for any of the replies before I locked my phone and set my laptop up for Zoom. 

***

I huffed, observing the cherry patterned and floral dresses in my hands, and the pile of other choices I thought about taking to LA. I was so indecisive right now. How many outfits did I really need? Five days worth, but on top of some clothes for clubbing possibly, and pjs. But if I packed something I didn’t want to wear, I didn’t really want to wear the same thing. Why was I like this?

I huffed once again and flopped down onto the mass. I leave tomorrow and need to get this sorted out. After another half hour of stalling, I willed myself to get back up and actually pack. I decided on six solid outfits, on top of one clubbing fit and pjs. It seemed like the safest route.

N: Get in loser , we’re going to see Paps 

K: Hah hah like oh my god they don’t even go here 

I finally just packed. How’s LA? 

N: Kelly, you’re such a procrastinator 

LA is ready for you 

K: But I don’t know if I’m ready for LA 

N: Ooo so cliche , you’re both ready. 

See you tomorrow x

K: See you tomorrow xo

***

As much as I’d love to say I could handle getting myself to my flight on my own, I couldn’t. I hadn’t flown in a few years and that had been with a group of others. I was flying by myself now, and I have to do all the checking in and such as well. 

I took a deep breath as I approached the security check line. I set my purse and backpack in one bin and my duffel in another before setting them on the metal rods that would take it through a detecting machine. I waited for the woman to wave me through the detecting machine, and I went through fine. I mean, I didn’t have anything that would set it off. 

Once my stuff came through the other end of the metal rods line, I grabbed it and put the bins in the pile that was started. When I started walking away to find my gate, I realized I was stupid to be so nervous about going through the line. 

Finding my gate wasn’t hard. It helped that the Cedar Rapids Airport was small. There’s like eight gates. I settled myself in a seat to wait until boarding was called. I took my phone out and busied myself with Instagram and Tumblr; I just scrolled through my feed, liking and reblogging stuff. 

“Gate B is now boarding. If you are first class, you have a separate line. If you are G1 for the coach cabin, you can now board.”

That was me. 

I took another deep breath, grabbing my three bags, and I walked over to the woman. She took my ticket, ripping off the part she needed, and then handed it back to me. “Enjoy your flight.”

“Thanks,” I replied. 

I walked through the terminal and onto the fairly small plane. It was more of a jet. I found my seat and settled everything. I followed the directions given by the fly attendant as I waited for the plane to actually take off, and finally, we moved to be on the runway and ascended into the air. 

Next: Ch 4

[Masterlist]

[gingerwritess]

I’m absolutely in love with your blog!! Everything you write makes me smile. Also, quick question, how do you think Loki would react to his significant other having a celebrity crush?

sorry i was listening to hozier and well that man has some sexy vocal cords amiright

enjoy a super quick jealous!loki fic biscuit

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Okay, but Loki. Just listen to his voice, holy shit.”

You put your earbuds in Loki’s ears as he glares straight ahead, pressing a quick kiss to his frowning lips. “This one’s called Cherry Wine, and I always think of you when I hear it for some reason.”

“Hmph.”

Unbelievable. You didn’t even say you liked the artist himself, you only said that you like Hozier’s music, and Loki went spiraling down into a full-blown temper tantrum before you could stop him.

He crosses his arms tighter over his chest and shrugs a few seconds into the song, looking completely unimpressed. “There’s nothing even remotely attractive about him,” he scoffs, tossing his hair indignantly—what a diva.

“Excuse me?” You give a disbelieving laugh, scrolling through another Hozier playlist. “I swear he stole my heart just with his songs, and then I saw his face. Here, listen to this one.”

“Oh, please. Some dirty Midgardian scum is the one who ‘stole your heart?’ Tell me, darling, what do I hold then?” He puts a sarcastic hand to his heart. “Your empty chest cavity? Perhaps if I stand on a hill surrounded by a flock of sheep and wail at the top of my lungs, too, I can someday win you back—”

“Oh my god, Loki, are you jealous?”

His words immediately falter, a dead giveaway. “Absolutely not. Why would I be jealous of this…this woodsman?”

“Oh, bull shit. You’re cute when you try to lie to me.” You can’t help but laugh and you poke him the side—this is ridiculous. “Come on, sunshine, listen to Movement and tell me that’s not one of the sexiest, darkest, hottest songs you’ve ever heard.”

“It’s not.”

“You’re unbelievable.” You shake your head, scooting closer to Loki and leaning your head on his shoulder. “C’mon, why are you jealous? You know I love you.”

“Oh, do you now?” He laughs bitterly. “Should I learn to play the guitar, is that how I’ll win back your affection?”

“Yeah, that’s definitely all it takes. Step up your game, sunshine.”

“You have terrible taste, too,” Loki huffs and points at your phone where you’ve got a picture of Hozier searched. “This man is nowhere near attractive.”

“Actually…” you hold up the picture to Loki’s pouting face. “I think he kinda looks like you.”

His jaw drops. “How dare y—no! Oh, that’s offensive. What, is it the hair?”

Biting your lip, you hesitantly nod your head yes. “It’s cute though! Kinda rugged and earthy, like—

He flops back on the couch with a defeated sigh. “I’ve been reduced to rugged. Here, is this better?”

Oh gosh. When you look up from your phone and see Loki, he’s running his hands through his hair—short hair. His long locks have been chopped off, leaving him with a short, combed hairstyle, curls falling across his forehead, and he shakes his head to ruffle the curls, enjoying the feeling of having a bare neck.

“Holy shit.”

He pauses and looks at you, his scowl turning up into a smirk when he sees your jaw has fallen to the floor—you’re practically drooling.

“See something you like, hm?” He snickers and runs a hand through his hair, turning this way and that so you can get a good look at his new hairstyle. “I look nothing like that Hozier fool, and you can’t keep your eyes off me.”

“You—you’re hot.”

“Hotter than…Hozier?” He puts a hand on your chest and lightly pushes you so you fall back onto the couch with a squeak, immediately crawling to hover over you teasingly close to your face.

“Well…” you hesitate, reaching up to run a hand through Loki’s new hair—fuck, it’s so soft. “It’s not that I think he’s hot, he just has a really fucking sexy voice.”

“But you said I have a sexy voice!” Loki pouts, sitting back up and throwing his hands in the air. “Do you want me to sing to you? Read to you? What?”

“And you said you weren’t jealous, hah.” You sit up with a smug grin and scoot closer to him, leaning forward with your hands on his thigh. “You do have a sexy voice,” you whisper in his ear. “Don’t worry. Easily the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. Way sexier than Hozier…”

His face lights up and he quickly tries to hide it. “You’re lying, just trying to make me feel better.”

“You’re the god of lies, dude, am I lying?”

“…no.”

There’s no denying how pleased with himself he sounds.

You run a hand through his weirdly, adorably short curls, coming to run your hands up and down the back of his neck—it feels so weird, so different to not have his long hair covering most of his neck.

“You’re gonna bring your hair back, right?”

Loki glances up to try and see his hair, giving his head a good shake. “Depends. Are you going to compare me to that singing leprechaun if I do?”

“I won’t compare you, fine.” You roll your eyes with a nod. “But I’m not gonna stop listening to his music, that shit’s good.”

He doesn’t seem too thrilled by that notion…but he sighs and poof, his hair is falling over his shoulders once again—yay!

“Of course, I’m not going to tell you to stop,” he says, giving you a small smile. “I trust you.”

“Good,” you murmur and clamber to straddle his lap, raking your fingers through his long hair so his head falls limply back under your touch. “I love you, idiot.”

“Idiot. How touching.”

Fisting your hand lightly in his hair, you take his face in the other and dip your head down to place a gentle, promising kiss on his lips—you’re all his.

“But honestly,” you add quietly when you pull away for a breath, “I wouldn’t mind being serenaded.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug  @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream  @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettrosella @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter  @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter

[purplesurveys]

718

If you lived in Bikini Bottom, would you befriend Spongebob or Plankton? Obviously Spongebob. I’m there to have a good time and catch jellyfish, not eat holographic meatloaf and make it my life’s goal to steal a secret formula. Do you have any bananas in your house right now? I think we still have some left. My dad bought a pack? a group? a bunch? of them so he can make banana cue and turon for my mom and sister while we’re all stuck at home for the meantime. Which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? Eh I don’t judge this easily since I assume tattoos mean a lot to people but where I’m from, line tattoos are pretty overused. They DO look nice and I get why they’ve been trending for a while, but yeah they’re evvvvvverywhere. Is it easy to distract you? Yes haha I have a rather quick attention span. Do you prefer to drink from glasses or mugs? Depends on the drink. I drink my water from a glass but I prefer my coffee in a mug, that sort of thing.

What was the last thing you taught a younger kid? I don’t feel confident teaching kids just yet, huhu. It usually works the other way around: when I’m with kids, they teach me how to play their toys or whatever game they’re playing on their parents’ phone/iPad. Are the clocks in your house mostly digital or analog? We only have one analog clock. We mostly tell the time from our phones. How long have you had your television(s)? Answered this before but we have two TVs that are 12 years old and two others that were bought within the last decade. Do you like watching movies made with CGI or do you prefer hand-drawn ones? I don’t care. As long as the end product is done well I can enjoy the movie. Where did your parents buy their car(s)? I know for sure the two family cars were bought directly from the official dealers. I think mine was a secondhand one. Do you know why your grandparents chose your mother's name? No. I think they just liked the name. That makes me want to ask my grandma though. What is your favourite kind of soup? Miso is the only one I really like. Have you ever made your own musical instrument? Nope. What do you think of Leighton Meester's singing voice? I only know one song of hers and I reeeeeally loved that when it came out, but I don’t think it’s enough for me to have an opinion for her music altogether. I definitely don’t hate her voice though. Do you think you'd do well at teaching the English language to a foreigner? Yeah, it’s my other everyday language and I’m a little bit more fluent in it than I am in Filipino. How long have your neighbours lived there? About the same time as us, I think. We all moved in at sort of the same time when the village was newly developed. Is it weird to hear your name in movies or TV shows? It’s not a very common name so it does feel a bit weird to hear, yes. It’s weirder if I have to refer to the character in third person cause I never liked saying my own name :/ Why do so many people seem to hate the Jonas Brothers? Am assuming this refers to the Jonas Brothers pre-reunion because I’m sure no one hates them and their new music now lmao. I think, simply put, it was because they were teenagers then, and pre-teen and teenage girls was their main fanbase? Most people liked to shit on that category of celebrities, even today – case in point, Justin Bieber, 5SOS, One Direction haha. What is a store you like that is exclusive to your country? Fully Booked! It’s the most complete, up-to-date, and chic bookstore brand we have. The Fully Booked branch in BGC in particular is a partnership with Starbucks, so you can immediately walk over there to get a coffee and read after buying a book heh. If you attend school, what time do you usually get home after? I always have extracurriculars like org stuff, meetings, or fieldwork after my academic schedule so more often than not I’ll get home by 9 or 10 PM, which leaves me feeling exhausted as fuck at the end of the day. When was the last time you really needed to just let loose? Like two weeks ago? I was bored out of my mind being stuck at home so I chugged a lot of soju that I asked my dad to buy so I can at least be drunk while being bored lol. Have you ever been blackmailed? Kinda. There was a time when I didn’t talk to my sister and didn’t really feel well enough to reconcile with her yet, but my mom threatened to go to our class guidance counselor and expose me and ‘the kind of older sister I am’ if I didn’t make amends with my sister immediately.

This might sound sarcastic but thanks, survey, for reminding me what kind of mom my mother actually was during the years that were the most critical to my development lmao. I always need reminders like this because despite how our relationship has ‘improved’ now that I’m older, I shouldn’t forget the trauma she caused me and the fact that I had always planned to detach myself from her as much as possible once I’m fully independent. I can’t disappoint my younger self by keeping her in my life as if nothing happened.

Do you suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome? No. I keep forgetting what that means. Would you rather have novels based on your life or a series of comic books? Novels, so I’d be more interested to read it. Have you written a resume before, either for yourself or someone else? I did a resumé when I applied for my internship. Did you know that they plan on releasing a movie based on The Smurfs? This survey is sooooooo old hah they’ve made a bunch of films on it already. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live underwater? Not really. Mostly I’ve just wondered what it would be like to be a creature from the deep sea, where it’s totally dark and most of the animals there look prehistoric as fuck lol. Have you ever worked in a bakery? If not, would you like to? No but this question reminded me of Harry Styles, aw :’) ANYWAY if I did I’d probably take up a job in the office, since I can neither bake nor deal with people on a regular basis even if one argues that bakeries aren’t really particular spots for angry Karens or Barbaras. What is your favourite thing about snow? I like that we don’t get them because it’s bound to make my first encounter with snow in the future magical as fuck. Is there a big personality difference between you and your sibling(s)? Yeah. I tend to adapt to new environments way better than they do and I’m definitely the most extroverted of the three in all aspects.  Do you enjoy decorating things with stickers? Hahahah yes, it’s an uncontrollable urge. I keep my stickers to just my laptop case these days, but back then I used to put stickers on my phone case, my ID case, clipboard, wallet, etc. Did you lose anything recently? Did you end up finding it? I lose my hair tie every now and then; my hair’s a bit short for a ponytail now so my hair tie gradually slips out my hair with me barely noticing it, so it always ends up in random places around the house. I do end up finding it after a while but it gets frustrating whenever I realize it had fallen off again. What colour oven mitts do you have? We don’t really use the oven so we barely use the ones we have. I don’t even know the color of it.

Why do you/don't you watch award shows? Because there are sooo many commercials in the middle of it, some presenters are awkward as fuck and I’d rather save myself from the secondhand cringe, and most of the time the choices for the winners are undeserving and end up pissing everyone off. It’s always easier to just wait a few hours and check the results on Google; and besides, the only fun parts are seeing what everyone is wearing and who attends to begin with hah. What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres as the new judge on American Idol? God this was a lifetime ago. I think I mostly didn’t mind it but I never did get over the replacement of the OGs Randy, Simon, and Paula. Do you ever do the exercises featured in some magazines? No. Have you ever watched What The Buck? What do you think of it? I don’t think I’ve heard of that. How long ago did you switch from cable to satellite, if you did? We didn’t make a ‘switch,’ per se. We had cable in our old home but when we moved to our current house in 2008, having extra channels wasn’t really the priority as moving already entailed a whole lot of expenses to begin with. That meant we only had free TV for a while which was extremely fucking boring, but eventually my dad got us satellite in like 2011 or 2012. When was the last time you partnered up with someone to complete something? I decided to partner up with Andrew for my undergraduate thesis in like August last year. Do you consider Lady GaGa's appearance artistic, or just plain weird? Artistic. What do you usually do when you have trouble sleeping? I put a lengthy YouTube video on so I can fall asleep to the background noise. At least that’s what I do these days - I always thought I needed complete silence to fall asleep, but apparently that’s not the absolute case. What was the last thing you used scissors for? I opened a sachet of 3-in-1 coffee.

Have you ever used some kind of food as a facial mask? Nah I always just use Korean sheet masks. How many USB cords do you have lying around? I personally don’t have any but I do have a hard drive. Are you satisfied with your social life (or lack thereof)? I’m very satisfied with it and I’m glad I got to open up in college. Do you know anybody whose initials spell something? Sure. What is your favourite flavour of Kool-Aid? I’ve never had Kool-Aid. Is there a specific food you think NEEDS to be at Christmas dinner? My grandma’s steak. Would you be able to re-string a guitar? I wouldn’t even know where to buy guitar strings. What TV show do you just assume you wouldn't like? How I Met Your Mother, just because their fans love to make fun of and compare their oh-so-great show to Friends so much when I’ve never seen a single Friends fan make fun of HIMYM like ????? Why the one-sided, unsolicited hate??? I was always planning to watch the show and appreciate Friends and HIMYM at the same time but because the fans are so pathetic I just stopped wanting to watch it altogether. Do your friends have more money than you? Seems unfair to pit ourselves against one another when we’re all still depending on our parents’ money lmao. Who always has the power to make you feel intimidated? Ate Frances has always had a very strong personality. Do you have more bread or cheese in your house? Bread. What was the last movie trailer you saw? Not sure. I don’t really like trailers since most of them give away too much of the plots already. Did you purchase any meat product when you were at the store last? My dad did. Have you ever been told that you have chubby cheeks? Well I don’t, so no I’m not usually told this lol. Do you know how to properly use a saw? Nope. Isn't it a shame that what Kanye West did at the VMA's overshadowed what was supposed to be a night dedicated to Michael Jackson? Hahahaha not really, I found it hilarious and so so stupid. There were a billion other tributes to MJ that year that went smoothly so it doesn’t really matter to me if the 2009 VMAs will always be known as the Imma-let-you-finish VMAs.

[fanfictionized]

The Hating Game - Epilogue

Characters: Lance Tucker x Latina!OFC

Chapter Summary: Fast-forward five months into Lance’s and the Reader’s relationship...

Warnings: Fluff, a lil smut

Words: 1.9k

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading and just being very lovely altogether 

The Hating Game - Masterlist // Previous Chapter

Lance Tucker never loved.

He didn’t run, he leaped.

He didn’t sleep with a woman, he fucked.

And when he participated, he won.

But Lance Tucker never loved.

He heard her sweet little sigh leaving her lips as his hand slid between her thighs, making his cock jump not only with the anticipation of burying himself in her tight heat, but with adoration which filled his heart to the brim, his chest aching with how much he had missed her touch.

Even though he had just guided himself inside last night, spurred on by her breathy moans and her hands clawing at his back to urge him deeper, make him go faster, but he wouldn’t.

He needed to memorize the feeling, wanted to make it last as long as it could as he stared into the depth of her hooded eyes, pupils blown with lust and passion before he connected their lips in a desperate kiss.

No, Lance Tucker never loved.

But he did count the freckles on her skin like the stars in the sky, trying to make her laugh every second of the day, to want that joyful sound to soothe his soul and to see the dimples that appeared ever so often when she looked at him with longing in her eyes, whispering those three little words into his skin to make him hers, little by little, even though he was still too afraid to say it back.

But Lance Tucker never loved.

But with her, he hopes, he can learn how to.

.

.

.

He entered the apartment after a long day of work and traveling with the kids he was training, staying at the gym well past any training hours while getting the paperwork in order.

He was exhausted, tired, and completely spent from the past week, being happy only because he knew he’d have two days away from it…

And because the minute he had stepped into his apartment he had smelled the smell of hearty comfort food, making his stomach growl and leaving his nerves just a little less tense because he had secretly been looking forward to having her there with him the entire weekend.

He disappeared into the bedroom for just a minute to change into a fresh pair of sweatpants and a clean shirt, dropping his bag before he headed for the kitchen, seeing her silhouette through the frosted glass of the kitchen door as she stood in front of the stove, swinging her hips to the sound of some pop song blaring through the radio.

He smiled, pushing the door open slowly until the movement caught her attention, head turning to the side to look at him with big, startled eyes before her gaze turned into something much more heart-warming and soft, the bright glimmer in her iris not only assuring him of her joy, but also making his heart pound fiercely with the anticipation of finally feeling her against him again.

“Lance!” She squealed happily before she leaped into his embrace, arms around his neck and broad back to pull him closer.

He closed his eyes to really absorb the feeling of her form pressed against him- the softness of her skin even through the fabric of her top, the relief that came with her soothing touch, washing over him as he tightened his arms around her, inhaling the scent of her perfume and lotion that clung to her skin.

“I thought you wouldn’t be home until ten.” She mumbled into his neck as she pressed a kiss to the side of it and his chest ached with the realization; how much he had actually missed her during those few days away from her.

He had been gone since Monday with his group of little prodigies, including Ana, to bring them to a tournament a few cities over.

Lucy had only agreed because she knew Lance would be there to watch over her. And because she knew her little sister would win this thing.

She did, actually. Even though it had been a group thing and they all won this trophy for regional championship, Ana had stood out of cause.

He was pretty damn proud of her to be honest.

Was training his lover’s sister making him feel a whole new kind of responsibility?

Absolutely. But strangely; Ana looking at him as a sort of role model or father figure wasn’t making him uncomfortable. Quite the opposite. He felt a pride he had never felt before in his life.

He remembered her having talked to Lucy over the phone because her friend on the team had invited her over to a sleepover after their win and only because Lucia knew the girl’s mom and because she was just too proud of her little sister (and because she knew that would give her some time alone with Lance) She had agreed on it.

Leaving her right there in his kitchen with her arms around his neck and wearing a pair of velvet shorts so perfectly forming the roundness of her ass it should be illegal.

He smiled.

“Wrapped it up earlier than expected.” He said, grip around her waist loosening to finally take a good look at her.

His pulse quickened as he saw her smiling at him, her eyes darting to his lips as she was desperate to kiss him again for the first time in almost five days, her messy head of curly hair, the sensual look on her face and it was only when his gaze landed on the top she had on that his thoughts stopped completely, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyebrows furled in bewilderment.

“What?” She caught his confused stare and looked down on herself as well.

“Your shirt…” He muttered, not taking his eyes off it as he first saw the print it had on it.

“Oh, yeah… hah.” She laughed “It’s, uhm- it was supposed to be a surprise, but the shop didn’t print it on soon enough so I’ll have to wear it to the next tournament. But it fits me so I thought I’d put it on…” She stretched the shirt so that he could read the print more clearly.

Tucker’s Troop Support Squad was printed on it in some sort of animated handwriting font.

“I still like it.” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders before she looked up at his face, contorted with something she couldn’t pinpoint, some emotion showing on his face she couldn’t guess.

“Lance…?” She chuckled nervously as he was still holding her hips, just staring down at her chest, not saying anything with only that weird look on his face.

He let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head slowly and she could see that he was battling with something internally, struggling to keep his thoughts inside as he was gulping them down.

“I, uhm…” He took a deep breath, gaze flicking up to finally meet her eyes in an unsure and nervous stare.

“I love you.”

Her mouth fell open, mind going blank.

“What…?” She whispered through a tight throat, swallowing hard because in five months of them being together he had never once said those three words to her.

Never.

She knew he loved her. He showed her that he did.

And she knew it was hard for him to say it since, well… he had never said it to anyone before but…

She finally closed her mouth again after a few seconds of silence, just staring at him in shock.

“I love you.” He repeated sheepishly, cheeks going red and jaw clenching as he looked down at his feet, almost letting the embarrassment get to him before she had pressed her mouth against his in a bruising kiss, throwing her entire body into his with so much force he was knocked out of the kitchen with her in his arms, a muffled sound of surprise against her lips as he flailed, trying to hold onto the doorframe before they both landed on the carpeted ground.

Lance’s eyes clenched shut in pain, groaning against her lips but she simply continued littering his entire face with kisses as she laid on top of him, pinning him to the floor with only her body.

“Calm down, girl…” He muttered as his world stopped spinning and he realized what she was actually doing, holding onto her sides as he chuckled lowly, cheeks still burning hotly.

But she just shook her head against him.

“I” A kiss on the cheek as she held his face in her hands

“love” A kiss on his nose as he scrunched it up

“you” A kiss on his lips to keep him from squirming, deepening the kiss as she opened her mouth for him, running her tongue along his bottom lip until he gave in, a moan slipping past his lips when his arms came around her waist to hold her close.

“Fuck, I missed you so much, darlin’…” He sighed into her neck as he licked and sucked along the sensitive skin, grabbing her ass with both hands as he ground her hips down to meet his pelvis and the half-hard cock that was bulging his boxers.

She whimpered when she felt his growing erection through the little fabric that covered her ass and pussy, nails digging into his bulky chest as she ran her fingers through his hair, tugging occasionally to make him groan and his hips thrust up into hers.

She smiled against his skin, kissing along his throat and jawline until she had him writhing underneath her.

He grunted when he sat up suddenly, keeping an arm locked around her waist as he stood up, holding her in his arms while she crossed her ankles around his lower back.

Their mouths stayed connected as he moved them both into the bedroom, letting her body drop to the mattress while he hovered above her, hands on her waist pulling her to the edge, flush with his pelvis.

“Shit” He hissed as she began circling her hips against his dick, pulling him against her as she arched her back, making her tits stand out even through that ridiculous shirt, his hand moving to cup her face, making her look up at him through lust-filled eyes.

“I’m-” He began, stumbling over his words as he was shaking with the anticipation.

“I want- I wanna make love to you” He stammered, voice still wavering.

“Then show me.” Lucia whined as she tried to pull him down to her before she actually noticed his nervousness as she gripped his biceps, his body trembling under her touch.

“’M not sure how to…” He whispered before her fingers ran through his hair in a comforting manner, smoothing back his strands that had escaped from the hold of his gel and he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.

“I can show you if you want to.” She breathed into his neck, kissing him gently until he looked down again and seeing her loving gaze, feeling her hands run down his body not to grab and pull and tug, but to stroke and caress…

It calmed him down.

Gave him enough confidence to reassure him- that maybe he could do just that.

And she was already smiling when he connected their lips in a passionate kiss, pulling him down to feel him against her because she was never letting go of this man and she knew that now… he would never let go of his girl as well.

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