#i love tiktok's mama's boy trend

[purrfectlycontent]

the underground killer

[churipu]

"SHUT UP, MAMA." 𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧

ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, nanami kento

ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. fem! reader, husband! au, i made names for your children but feel free to disregard it

note. i remembered this tiktok trend, just figured i should write about how the jjk men would react to their child doing this.

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

gojo had a day off. it's rare for a jujutsu sorcerer like him — being the strongest, he's an asset to the jujutsu world. so him being in a day off is like a miracle to both you and your seven year old son, who might i say, is an exact carbon copy of your husband.

"honey, you need to put your toys away. it's almost dinner time," you said from the kitchen, gojo by your side, ready to help you with anything.

"let me take that," he sings out, grabbing two plates from your grasp — you chuckled, letting him take the white colored ceramic disk, "looks good, baby."

as you and gojo walked out of the kitchen, placing the plates on top of the dining table. gojo pulled out your seat for you. habits die hard, the male has always pulled your seat out for you since the very first date.

your son. marise gojo. a boisterous little boy, absolutely loves to play with his rocket toys, and somehow believes he's a little astronaut. there he sat in front of the TV, playing with his toys, an astronaut helmet covering his small head.

"buddy," gojo calls out to the boy, "it's dinner time, clean up your toys. mama made some good food."

when gojo's call didn't work, you tried doing it next, "marise, your food's going to get cold, honey."

the young boy didn't make any visible movements, but you heard him yell out with his high pitched voice, "shut up, mama!"

gojo looks at you briefly. i mean — as a father, he couldn't believe his own son said that. to his mother. gojo wasn't one to get mad, in fact, marise is a total daddy's boy. but he felt angry, frustrated, annoyed, all at once.

he wasted no time leaping up from his seat, approaching the young boy. his smile no longer visible; gojo was unhappy. the male used one of his hands to take off marise's astronaut helmet, tossing it aside before grabbing the young boy by his small waist.

marise didn't complain, and he still has no idea of what his father is about to do. so he just sat still in gojo's embrace — until gojo puts him down beside you, "say sorry."

marise's bright blue eyes stared up at gojo in confusion, "say sorry to mama, marise."

it wasn't "baby" or "buddy" like gojo used to address him by, and marise wasn't stupid. he knew he did something wrong, but he just didn't get what or why his father is telling him to apologize to you.

"sorry mama . . ." marise's soft voice resounds.

"do you know what you did wrong?" gojo questions sternly.

marise shook his head, his eyes watering at gojo's tone of voice, "no papa . . ."

gojo sighs, he squats down and gazes into his son's eyes, "you should never say 'shut up' to mama or papa, okay? not to anyone, 'ts not polite. don't ever do that again, now say sorry to mama for saying that."

marise nods his head and turns to look at you, his eyes watering — it's not everyday that you get to see papa gojo get angry, "'m sorry mama, i will never do that again," the young boy finally cried, letting his tears fall out of his doe eyes.

you can't help but to smile at the young boy, pulling him onto your lap to cradle him, "don't do that again, baby. 'ts not polite," your fingers grazed his chubby cheeks, wiping his tears away, "and if mama or papa tells you to stop playing and eat, what do you do?"

marise sniffled, "stop playing and eat."

"good boy," you kissed his little forehead, "go give papa a kiss."

and that marise did, gojo immediately picking the boy into his arms with a big smile, "give papa two kisses, buddy."

sure, gojo is a fun parent. but he knows how to teach his children boundaries — what to do and what not to do. he's scary when he's angry.

𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

megumi is the child that made you and toji think you both should have another child — fukuo is the child that made you and toji stop wanting more children. not saying that fukuo is a bad kid, but the boy is relentless.

with a pretty large age difference between megumi and fukuo with six years, sometimes megumi had to teach fukuo some manners, telling the younger boy what's right and wrong. when fukuo misbehaves, it's megumi and you to the rescue — while toji would usually chuckle it off since, well, he's a little minus on the manners part as well. but you're working on that.

toji said so himself, he wouldn't mind fukuo misbehaving on some things. but the male did set some boundaries up for both of his boys and how they should act well towards you (and him).

today, megumi is twelve and fukuo is six. both of your boys look alike, "mama, 'm gonna be staying late at school because we have a play coming, 'm gonna help my classmate decorate the stage," megumi tells you as he puts on his shoes.

"alright, baby. have a good day at school, i love you," you pressed a kiss on megumi's head, waving him goodbye.

as megumi disappears behind the front door, you walk back inside the house, "toji, wake fukuo up, please. 'm getting his breakfast ready," toji who had his eyes on the television curtly nodded, sluggishly walking towards the boy's room.

"hey, champ." toji approaches the boy, who was sleeping soundly, "your mother's made some good food f' you. if you're not gonna eat it, i'll steal your portion."

fukuo squirmed a bit, but his eyes were still shut tightly, "fukuo," toji gently shook the boy, poking his cheek.

like anyone, fukuo didn't like his sleep disturbed, "papa, stop . . ." he mumbled out, shifting his small body so his little back was facing toji, "five more minutes."

toji sighs, "five more minutes."

he then went out of the room, "he asked for five more minutes," he informs you — sitting back down on the couch.

"five more minutes," was not an unfamiliar statement to you, especially coming from fukuo who had always managed to, of course, butcher the concept of time right after. it was either an hour, or more.

so you waited five minutes, and when the young boy didn't emerge from his bedroom, you found yourself walking towards it, "fukuo? baby, come on, mama made you breakfast . . ." you turn on the light, which made fukuo subconsciously twitch.

"fukuo, come on, papa will eat your breakfast . . ." you shook the boy gently.

"shut up, mama."

you blinked in surprise, but only managed out an exasperated sigh at the boy's sudden outburst, until all of a sudden toji appears beside you — his hand wet, and he slides his palm across the boy's face with a serious look on his face.

"wake up, fukuo. i won't tell you this again," toji mutters out, "three."

oh, god. the countdown was every kid's nightmare, "two," including fukuo's — shown by how the young boy immediately sat up on his bed, "apologize to your mother."

fukuo furrowed his brows, "why?"

"you don't tell her to shut up. apologize." you were just there silently, a little shocked at how toji had become so serious when he's usually so laid-back with the boys, "say sorry and eat your breakfast."

fukuo swallows his saliva nervously and scoots over to you, "'m sorry for telling you to shut up mama, i promise i won't do that again . . ." he whispers, throwing his short arms around your neck — burying his face into the crook of your neck.

you pulled him close, carrying the young boy in your arms, "'ts okay baby, no more telling people to shut up, okay? 's not nice, it'll hurt people's feelings."

"okay mama . . . 'm sorry for hurting your feelings," fukuo pulls back slightly, pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek before facing toji, "'m sorry for hurting mama's feelings, papa."

toji placed his palm over the boy's face, covering it entirely, a sheepish smirk plastered on his lips, "go brush y'r teeth and eat your breakfast, mama made some pancakes."

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

nanami is such a girl dad. ever since he found out that both of you were going to have a baby girl, he's delighted. just knowing that he'd have a mini version of the both of you made his stomach churn in happiness.

hoshi. nanami hoshi is her name. it was a very peaceful six years of raising her — but they said there will be a devil baby phase, and here she was. whining, throwing tantrums over things she didn't get. it was honestly tiring, but you knew this was a risk of raising a child.

"hoshi, baby, please stand up." you cooed down at the girl who was lying down on the ground. in the middle of a mall, "mama and papa will buy that toy for you next time, i promise."

nanami was by your side, holding onto the baby stroller. his eyes were unreadable, you don't know what he had in mind, but the look he peered at your daughter was plainly and eerily terrifying.

yes, there are moments where he spoils hoshi with what she wants. toys, food, drinks, you name it. but there are times where he declines because he didn't want her to grow up too spoiled, "i wan' that toy, mama!"

you inhaled sharply, trying to slide your hand underneath her armpits to pick her up, but hoshi refused by kicking your hands away. her little kicks barely scratched you — but the people looking at your small family as they passed by definitely got a little kick to you.

"baby, people are looking at you . . ." you whispered.

"i don't care, shut up, mama!"

that was the last straw for nanami who had been silent. he grabbed your arm and tugged you up gently, nodding at you as if telling you to leave this one to him.

you backed away slightly, taking a hold of the stroller nanami had let go a few seconds prior as he squats down. forcefully but gently slipping his hands underneath hoshi's armpits, carrying her into his arms.

"mama said we will buy that toy for you next time, okay?" he sternly said, eyeing his little girl who was now silent as she gazed into his eyes, "and you never. never tell mama to shut up, do you understand?"

hoshi nods her head slowly, lips quivering at her father's sudden lecture, nanami's eyes visibly softened and he rocked her in his arms, "papa's not angry at you, hoshi. but papa wants you to know that telling mama to shut up is not polite, okay?"

again hoshi nods her head.

"go and say that you're sorry to mama," he pecked her chubby cheeks before letting her down onto the ground.

hoshi's little legs ran towards you, hugging your leg, "'m so sorry mama," she muffles into your leg, "i don't want the toy anymore, mama. 'm sorry for being a bad girl."

you squat down, nuzzling your nose to her, "you're not a bad girl, baby . . . mama and papa will buy you that next time, okay? we promise."

"okay, mama. i love you."

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Kiss Me*

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Summary: Another Joe prank! After engaging with so many couple pranks and trends on Tiktok, your FYP just keeps giving you more ideas! This time it's wiping your lips after Joe kisses you…

Warnings: fluff, unserious/funny, pranks, smut at the end.

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

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*no particular date for this blurb!*

(y/n’s pov)

Today was a slow, boring, rainy day. Joe was downstairs making dinner and playing with the boys while doing so. My parents were coming down for dinner tonight and Joe has always felt the need to make a three-course dinner for them every time they come over, even though he’s had their approval for several years now.

I sat upstairs on the bed. It was that time of the month and I was also coming down from a stomach virus, not fun at all. The only positive was Joe playing sexy nurse for me, bringing me soup, and tissues, checking my temp, holding my hair when I got sick, just all around being the best husband ever.

The sounds of giggles spewing from my twin boys playing with their daddy warmed my heart. Their laughing patterns had me guessing what was going on down there. My hypothesis was Joe was “chasing” the boys, catching them, trapping them on the couch, and tickling the daylights out of them.

I was contemplating going down there to find out but the giggling stopped, and before I knew it Joe was walking into our room. He respectively knocked and when I told him to come in he did.

“Hey. You doing okay, mama?” - Joe

“Mhm.” - you softly smiled

“That's good. Do you need anything? If you're not feeling 100% we can cancel on your parents, I'll even call them myself.” - Joe

“No, I’m okay Joe. I appreciate your offering though. Can you come here for a sec?” - you

“Mhm.” - Joe

Joe softly smiled at me as he made his way over to the bed and got under the covers on his respective side.

I rolled over into his chest and got comfortable as Joe rubbed my back.

“I love you, J.” - you

“I love you more. I've got dinner mostly done, a couple of pieces of chicken aren't up to temp yet but the sides are finished.” - Joe

“Good job Mr. Chef.” - you giggled

“Mr. Chef? Sounds kinky.” - Joe chuckled

“Joseph Lee!” - you leaned up and gave him a dirty look only to find him laughing with his head back.

“Sorry, I had to. You should know by now that if there's an opportunity for a dirty joke Imma jump on it.” - Joe

“I know it, and your jokes are funny. Just get it out of your system before your in-laws are here, Burrow.” - you laughed

“Yes ma'am!” - Joe laughed along with you.

Joe went to lean down for a kiss and a memory flashed in my mind from this morning.

This morning when I woke up alone in bed the shower in the bathroom told me that Joe was in there, I scrolled on TikTok for a little bit and ended up in my collection of videos saved with the title “Do with Joe.”

It consisted of all the couple trends and pranks that I've already done on him plus ones I wanted to do but haven't yet.

Due to the gloomy weather outside, I felt like a prank would be fun to do today. This one specifically was going to be very fun.

Joe and I kiss maybe 10,000,000 times a day. That's definitely not an exaggeration either. Before we were even a couple we loved little pecks or even long make-outs; kissing each other was just essential when the feeling of each other’s lips felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

What this prank was is every time your partner kissed you, you'd wipe it off. Whether it be a hand kiss, a cheek kiss, a forehead kiss, or a kiss on the lips. It was to be wiped off.

Now that Joe was going to kiss me for the first time it was a perfect time to let the ranking begin.

His smooth pink lips were on mine softly and before I knew it he was pulling away.

Joe smiled down at me as he started to lean up from the bed but paused when I wiped my lips with the back of my hand.

The small smile on his lips faltered and he furrowed his brows at me.

“I've brushed my teeth this morning, so I don't have morning breath… what's up?” - Joe

I shrugged and Joe frowned.

“Are you worried you're gonna get me sick? Because you know my immune system is like a brick wall… even if you were still a little sick we could have a full make out and I promise I’d be fine.” - Joe

“Mmm, okay.” - you giggled

Joe smiled at me giggling at his response, hoping that meant he had convinced me to let him kiss me. It was a few seconds later that Joe leaned in again, pressing his lips with a little bit more force than the first time.

“I love yo-” - Joe stopped when you wiped his kiss off again

“Baby, I’m fine to kiss you.” - Joe

“I know.” - you

“Then why do you keep wiping my damn kisses off??” - Joe whined

“Just don’t feel like it today.” - you

He looked hurt and taken aback by my reasoning. Joe knew I loved kissing him so this was weird to him. Was it something he did?

Eventually, Joe walked out of the room playing with his bracelets anxiously. I'm going to absolutely smooch him to death later because even though I'm choosing to do these pranks, he always takes them personally and it makes me feel bad.

After getting out of bed and ready for dinner, I walked downstairs to find Joe setting the table. Tyson and Miles were already dressed in their usual matching fashion and their hair was fixed. My heart warmed since their hair had recently started getting curlier, and they now both had one singular blonde hair hanging over their forehead. They're just like their daddy.

“Thanks for getting the boys ready.” - you smiled at Joe

“Oh, you're welcome. I didn't want you to have to do it so I went ahead and did.” - Joe

I nodded and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest after he put the last plate down.

“Have you heard from my parents?” - you

Joe laid his head against mine and mumbled a “Mhm”.

“They said they'd be here in around 30 minutes.” - Joe

“Okay sounds good. Do you need help with anything?” - you

“Nope, I've got it all. Dinner is done, the table is set, the boys are ready, and drinks are in the fridge.” - Joe

Pulling away from his chest, my smile gleamed as I looked at my man.

“You are the best husband ever, Joe.” - you

“I try to be, baby. You deserve nothing but the best and that's what I try to be.” - Joe

“Gosh. I love you so much. You make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world, Joe.” - you

Joe was grinning and rubbing my back, he went to lean in and kiss me but awkwardly paused and pulled back.

“Sorry I… forgot.” - Joe

Fuck.

God I was supposed to be pranking him but now all I wanted to do was grab him, throw him on the couch, cuddle him, and whisper in his ear how much I loved him as I kissed all over his face.

“You make this so hard.” - you sighed

“W- what?” - Joe

“I’m supposed to be pranking you by wiping my mouth after you kiss me but now I just feel bad. You're too sweet and cute for your own good. I'm sorry for pranking you again. I think it's going to be funny but then you make me sad.” - you

“Sorry for ruining your prank, baby.” - Joe giggled

“You didn't ruin anything… you're just too… perfect.” - you

“Def not perfect. I'm not gonna lie though, I'm a little sad about your prank.” - Joe

“I'm so sorry. After my parents leave we can do whatever you want, I won't complain.” - you

——

“Bye guys, see you soon!” - you

“Bye, get home safe!” - Joe

“Bye, gamma!!” - Tyson

“Bye, gwampy!” - Miles

My parents waved bye at us one last time before Joe opened the front door and gently guided the boys inside.

“Mama, tuck me in?” - Miles

“Of course, sweetie!” - you grinned at your boy

“Me too mama!” - Tyson hugged your leg

“I’ll tuck you both in don't worry.” - you smiled

“Why do you guys not want Daddy to put you to bed?!” - Joe

Joe held his arms up in defeat, waiting for Tyson or Miles to answer as they hugged at my legs.

“You don't read as good as Mama.” - Miles giggled

Joe’s mouth hung open from how distraught he was that his boys were turning away from him. I giggled at the look on his face before bending down to rub the boys’ backs to get their attention.

“Say goodnight to Dada and then we’ll go upstairs.” - you

Tyson was the first one to detach from me and run up to Joe, who happily scooped him up with one arm. Ty laid his head on his dad’s shoulder and Joe leaned over to kiss his cheek. He ran his fingers through the light blonde hair that was identical to his when he was their age.

“G’night, Dada.” - Tyson

“Night night buddy.” - Joe handed him over to you

Joe squatted down and Miles immediately walked into his father's embrace, wrapping his tiny arms around Joe’s neck as he hugged him. Joe had one hand on Miles's back and the size comparison was insane, his hand covering his son’s entire back.

“Night, Daddy.” - Miles

“Goodnight, Mi-guy.” - Joe

Miles wiggled out of Joe’s arms and back over to me. Joe stood back up at his full height and towered over me in such a delicious way.

“Stay down here. I'll be coming back down soon.” - you

The smirk forming on his lips told me he read between the lines and he realized the promise I made earlier was more sexual than he had originally thought.

Anything I want, Joe thought.

——

The boys went to sleep rather quickly but before I went downstairs I made a beeline for the bedroom. I grabbed a hairband put my hair up, just in case, and took my clothes off. I slipped one of Joe’s shirts over my naked body and went downstairs.

Joe was sitting on the couch, manspreading in his usual fashion as he watched the TV in front of him.

The light from the TV showed off every beautiful curve in his face and accentuated his chiseled jawline.

After giving him a slow look up and down, my eyes lingered on his crotch where a clear bulge had formed in his slinky shorts.

He's definitely been thinking about what he wants to do.

Walking out of my hiding spot on the stairs, Joe’s eyes averted from the TV to my frame and a smile graced his lips when he saw my ponytail.

“Hey…” - you sat down next to Joe

Joe flicked the TV off, and now the room was only being lit by the small table lamps, this lighting made Joe look ridiculously sexy.

He looked over at me and licked his lips.

“What are we gonna do?” - you smiled

I watched Joe fist his shorts and pull the legs of them higher up, showcasing more of his gorgeous muscular thighs. God, those thighs.

“Since you didn't want those pretty lips touching my lips. We're gonna use them somewhere else. Sound good, mama?” - Joe

Nodding, a smirk formed on Joe’s lips as I lowered onto my knees.

I palmed Joe through his shorts causing him to groan, and satisfied I pulled them and his boxers down his long legs.

Joe’s dick was already hard, swollen, and slightly wet from the precum beading at the red tip.

Gesturing for Joe to lift his arms, I pulled his shirt over his head and almost moaned at the familiar sight of his erect cock laying against his chiseled torso.

Taking his base in my hand I finally did what Joe had been wanting, kissing his tip sloppily.

“Oh god. Fucking suck it baby.” - Joe groaned

That was all the praise I needed to take his length into my mouth, sucking on it as I bobbed up and down. Joe was groaning and cursing left and right.

“Your mouth baby… your lips, wish I could have ‘em around my cock 24 fucking 7.” - Joe

His words only made me moan around him, causing Joe to moan out himself.

Joe was letting me do the work, for now. It wasn't long after I thought that when he grabbed my ponytail and started moving me on his cock.

“Atta girl, mama. Makin’ me feel so good.” - Joe

Minutes later Joe’s hips started bucking, signaling to me that he was close so I doubled my efforts. My hand moved on his base to stimulate what I couldn't get in my mouth and Joe’s moans told me he appreciated it.

“Gonna make me fuckin’ cum.” - Joe moaned

It was soon after that, I tried to quicken my pace even more and Joe was an absolute mess. He was choking on his own groans and was so close.

“Baby! I'm cumming!” - Joe grunted out

Shortly after his warning he released in my throat. I stayed with his dick in my mouth as I watched him through my lashes.

Joe looked completely blissed out and his chest was heaving and glistening with sweat. His forehead was also sweaty and the veins that ran through his body were bulging out.

He pulled at my ponytail, telling me to get off, and when I did I grabbed a tissue out of the box on the end table to clean him up.

After I cleaned Joe up and slipped his boxers back on, I went to wipe my mouth off but Joe grabbed my forearm.

“Dont you fucking dare wipe your lips.” - Joe

Feeling the abundance of saliva and precum on my lips and chin, I sucked in a heavy breath.

“Kiss me.” - Joe

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Authors note: guys even I'm giggling at the ending.

Request for this fic; (anon I literally took your idea and RAN with it. I actually have no way to defend myself on how this turned into a BJ.)

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Quick! Info dump about your favorite blorbo!

König headcanons

NSFW content below the cut, 18 + only (These apply to yandere König as well, the toxic stuff is marked with a red flag 🚩)

Does like 50 crunches and 50 pushups first thing in the morning when he wakes up, as he has done since he was a teenager.

Will fix everything from cars to furniture. If the door is creaking he will oil the hinges immediately. Actually, he will treat every single thing in life as a problem... A problem he will fix.

He's great at math and physics and has vast amounts of knowledge about mechanics, thermodynamics, even things like quantum theory and other complex astronomy stuff.

He's completely clueless when it comes to following trends and memes. You have to explain every other tiktok to him. He rarely uses emojis but when he does, it's awkward and slightly intimidating because König doesn't know the hidden meanings behind them. If you send him an eggplant or peach emoji he asks if you need veggies from the store.

Loves your cooking (even if it's just microwaved mac and cheese). If you start to feed this man, you'll never get rid of him.

This is your classic mama’s boy who never had to learn how to cook and then went to the army and got used to the facility taking care of him so… yeah. Doesn't know how to cook but will try to help in any way he can! König is very excited to see you’re making food and wanders into the kitchen like “What are we making today?” You can try and give him a chopping board, an onion and a knife, but this poor man doesn't even peel the onion unless you tell him he has to remove the outer layer first...

Eats like a horse. Is secretly afraid that you run out of food. Goes to the fridge and if it's half full, he will not take the snack he was supposed to have, only comments: "The fridge looks empty." (It's not a passive aggressive statement, he's just worried.)

Also: everytime there's a crisis somewhere – he follows the news neurotically – König starts to prep. There's a month's worth of food stashed in one of the cupboards at all times. He also preps fuel, propane, medicine and the like.

Ruins all the fun when you're playing board games because he fusses about the rules so much. König holds the rulebook in his hand through the whole game and double-checks every single thing.

He's very clumsy, sometimes hits his head on the door frame when he's in a hurry or visiting a new place. He can't stay still either, always shakes his leg when he’s sitting. König needs a lot of exercise when he's not deployed to get all that energy and frustration out.

This has been discussed earlier but yeah, König even drops his mags sometimes in the field because he's too excited. He's a very capable martial artist though. Has done Savate, Escrima and Pekiti-Tirsia Kali and is very agile and precise with the double kali sticks he carries to field sometimes. Suddenly his clumsiness disappears when he has to knife someone, kick someone in the head or beat them to death with those sticks.

This is the reason König fucked up his sniper dreams too: having to control his breath, lie still for long amounts of time, then take aim and shoot a rifle vs. aiming during an adrenaline high, giving a tight spurt or two with his SMG… The latter just comes naturally to him! If you ask him how he managed to take down a human trafficking cell all alone König will say he simply "got carried away."

König goes to the gym a lot. Gets back super pumped and with an urgent need to make love. But not before he's had a cold shower! It's almost like a ritual: he has to torture himself with weights and cold water first before he can have his prize (= access to a woman)

Wakes you up in the middle of the night because he started to worry about petty, stupid things and then got a lil horny. Humps your leg or your back very, very slowly while grunting in your ear: "Hey... Hey. Are you sleeping…?" (Like. Yes, König, I was but I'm not anymore, thanks for asking)

Asks what kind of fantasies you have all of a sudden while you two are cuddling. Asks very detailed questions about them too. If you ask him what kind of fantasies he has in return, König will tense up and then say he doesn't really know, perhaps something like… a blowjob in the forest… And somehow you just know that his real fantasies are so perverse you don't even want to know more about them.

If you "nag" or yell at him, he might get a boner.

If you notice and get offended, ask: "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!' König will freeze and look at you with a bewildered, obsessed stare and go: "Ja..?" while the boner situation in his pants gets visibly worse.

🚩 Would never go to bed before you've settled your argument. The problem is that it's very difficult for König to apologize because he always thinks he's in the right and that you simply need some time to come to that conclusion too. If you give him the silent treatment he will eventually come to you, gets all touchy and asks surprisingly demurely: "Are you still angry with me?"

🚩 The minute you forgive him or decide it was a stupid argument anyways, the demure puppy act disappears. König thinks he won and that it's time for some makeup sex ❤️

Has like the longest cock known to man. He has actual trouble finding comfortable underwear to fit that beast into. It's beautiful but intimidating, uncut, smooth and sleek. Not too thick but certainly not thin either. He likes to keep himself tidy down there too so the lack of hair makes this murder weapon look even bigger.

You two occasionally break furniture while having sex. It's mainly his fault (he gets carried away). He's very upset about it afterwards though, looks at the destruction he caused, muttering "Scheisse…" while rubbing the back of his neck. Then he tries to fix it while you're still there with your legs shaking and in need of aftercare.

If you remind him that he has other duties first, perhaps whimper his name in frustration, König will apologize and carry you to bed. He gives you that precious aftercare with unwavering passion and attention every time you ask for it ❤️ He's just a little clueless sometimes (König is also neuroatypical, either has AD/HD or falls somewhere in the autism spectrum)

🚩 Hates condoms with an intense passion. You're practically forced to take birth control pills or whatever so that he can cum inside you. This man's whining will ultimately gain a level that's absolutely ridiculous if you don't.

The first time you do it without the rubber, he sounds like he's about to cry. He tells you a hundred times how good it feels, and won't pull out until he grows soft and is kind of forced to do so. For a man who's never even heard of a breeding kink, he seems vehement about keeping his load inside you.

🚩Grunts and whispers loving but obsessive things in your ear while making love to you. You're mine, Say it, Promise that you're mine, I don't want to live without you, Why do you feel so good? at first… but as he approaches his peak, König switches to German. You have no clue what he’s saying, but from the way he spits those sentences through gritted teeth you get the feeling that it must be something desperate and that perhaps it's a blessing you don't understand his native tongue...

🚩🚩If you leave your phone on the table he tries to stalk it and check the notifications. He's so jealous it's unreal, if he sees you receive a message from some other guy König will start a circus. He needs to know all about your connection with this man. After that, he wants you to go through your contacts and show him how many guys there are and tell him what your affiliations are with them. If you're on social media König wants to go through your friends/those you follow. You have to give an account who they are and why you follow them.

🚩🚩🚩 You get a feeling he's forming a list of people he has to kill if you don't tell him they're just a cousin or something 💀

[froody]

There’s this TikTok trend about seeing yourself in the lives and photographs of relatives who passed before you were born. I look a lot like my grandmother’s brother Robert who suffered a traumatic injury at birth and died of the measles in 1950 when he was only 11. We have the same eyes, same big dark brown eyes with long eyelashes, same round face, same thick and wavy dark hair. We looked exactly alike when we were babies. He never gained the ability to walk or talk but great grandmother loved him so much and was so devastated when he died. My grandma told me how much I looked like him. Apparently when I was a child, I’d see photos of him and say “Is that me?”.

He never got the chance to grow up due to a disease that wouldn’t have a vaccine for another 13 years. Due to the medical malpractice at his birth, he was robbed of the chance to do a lot of things boys his age in his era loved to do. Run, holler, catch frogs, climb trees, play cards. But for every day of his 11 years on this earth, he was with his mama who loved him so deeply. He got to meet his baby sister, who loved him for his gentleness and quiet comforting company. He got to eat delicious home cooked meals everyday. He got 10 Christmases, 10 beautiful Virginia summers.

He lives on in me. His memory lives on in me. His face, so like my own face, smiling at me from photographs.

[southparktexts]

HEYHEY!!!!!

idk if people still do this but because i love ur work so much i'm gonna ask

DO PEOPLE STILL DO ANONS???

cuz if so i'd love to be ur 🎱 anon

cUZ LIKE UR WORK IS SO BUSS

anyways

I RECENTLY REQUESTED THE KYLE/READER ACADEMIC RIVALS AND YK I STILL NEED MORE OF DAT BRAINROT

so...

listen....

kyle / f reader but like

u and kyle are like really close (u hang out w the main 4 a lot)

and like u and kyle r really touchy (u hold his hand sometimes, hugs him, and y'all like play flirt a lot)

BUT BUT

when it's regardingschool ur like really competeitve and kyle finds it so so cute and teases u cuz of it

LIKE.....

🤭🤭🤭 mama needs that brainrot fr

IF U AIN'T UP FOR THIS THEN IT'S TOTALLY ALR

hii 🎱 ofc darling !! i hope this is alright!!

Academic Friendly Rivals with Kyle

- okay immediately going to go off with this

- you guys have a teasing dynamic

- i mentioned in my last post where kyle and you call each other pretty boy/girl when teasing

- you guys still do call each other pretty boy / girl unironically out of teasing

- i can see you guys being super close

- you wrap you’re arm around his arm when you walk with him down the streets

- mainly for protection from the gay bikers who like to hit on minors and also because you like him..

- i can see you too hanging out after school a lot

- ayo this is kinda giving ‘secret valentine’ by sharny

- anyways..

- i can see the play fighting be more initiated by you

“c’mon, give me my hat back”

“mmmm or what? you’re gonna kiss me for it?”

“maybe. now give me back my hat!”

- the only time he would initiate it is to see you blush

- grabbing your chin and leaning more and more into you until you pull away or study

“..so.. what’s the answer, hm?”

“i- uhm- ky i dont know..”

- leans more into you.

- he likes surprise hugging you, if you were cooking for him he would go behind you and wrap his arms around your neck or waist.

- regarding sc you guys are so competitive.

“i bet i scored a hundred!”

“pshh.. as if, mr 86 on english.”

- hes chuckling because your so adorable when you get competitive with him.

- yk the tiktok trend where it’s like ‘what do you think you got?’

- you and the group would do it

“ay, pretty girl! what do you think you got on the test?”

“A HUNDRED!”

- you were the only one in the group who got a hundred, kyle got a 98.

- also i mentioned a song, this song is totally them.

[lostaurorax]

I absolutely loved breeder and preggers! I was wondering if you could make it into a mini series? (possibly having a reveal to mama kelce + jason, then when the baby is born, and maybe baby's first superbowl) Anyways, keep writing, I love these works and can't wait to read more! ❤️

telling the family - travis kelce.

authors note| i actually have fallen in love with this series so i will definitely be making it into a mini series 🤭🤭 thank you so much!! i’m so glad you love my work 🥹 here’s part 3 we’re trav & reader tell his family!! hope you enjoy!!

warning| pregnancy + mentions of nausea & morning sickness

after telling travis that you were pregnant you had immediately been eager to tell his family about it.

for travis’s family, you hosted a dinner at your house with jason’s wife & kids and travis’s mom and dad. kylie had been helping you cook in preparation for the dinner. she had become suspicious of you after a few incidents.

“cheers to family!” kylie said as she handed you a glass of red wine, causing your eyes to widen knowing you’d have to come up with an excuse quickly.

“mm yes cheers!” you said as you brought the cup up to your lips as waited for her to take her sip so she wouldn’t see you avoid the glass. just the smell of the wine brought your nausea back.

“mm excuse me real quick i’m feeling really nauseous..” you said as you put the glass down and speed walk to the bathroom causing kylie to be really confused.

“hey babe.” kylie said as she called jason over

“what’s up hun?” he said as he walked over to her behind the large kitchen counter

“don’t you think y/n’s been acting weird?” she said hoping he was catching on to what she was

“weird in what way…?” he said extremely confused and having no idea what she was talking about

“well she tried to hide it but she didn’t drink any of her wine..and she ran to the bathroom because she felt nauseous!” kylie said with wide eyes hoping her point got across

“oh my god. is she…” jason said after really listening to what she said

“i think she is!!” kylie said excitedly as she smiled wide. you and she were so close and you always talked about having babies and if you really were pregnant she was so happy for you.

“whew sorry i’m good now!” you said as you stepped back into the kitchen. “oh hey j.” you said as jason was in the kitchen now

“hi y/n/n. i’m gonna go find trav!” he said quickly making his exit before he made their accusations obvious

you and kylie had finished dinner as the boys set the table.

“hey is y/n alright?” jason asked travis as they laid out the tablecloth and plates

“yeah why is she actin’ weird?” travis said hoping they hadn’t caught on yet

“kind of. ky thinks she’s sick or somethin but i don’t know..” jason said as he looked at travis across the table

“nah, as far as i know, she’s good bro bro don’t stress!” he said as he walked by jason and pat his back

once everyone was seated at the table and finished their dinner, everyone had moved to the living room onto the couch. travis gently tapped your thigh signaling you to start. you looked at him and nodded before you stood up and cleared your throat.

“guys do a funny pose! i wanna take a picture of all of us for this new tiktok trend!” you said as you stood up and placed your phone against the tv stand and hit record before you sat down next to travis in the middle of the couch. everyone looked slightly confused but still threw up a funny pose or face.

“okay 1..2…3…say y/n’s pregnant!!!” you announced as your phone recorded

“WHAT?!?!?” mama kelce said as she shot straight up off the couch along with kylie

“OH MY GOSH I KNEW IT!!!!” she said as she basically tackled you from the side

“oh my god y/n and travis are you serious!!!!” jason said just as excited as his mom and wife

“wow congratulations you guys!!” papa kelce said

“y/n i’m not even kidding i had a feeling you were!” kylie said pulling away from the hug as you both wiped tears off of your cheeks.

“i had a feeling you were catching on after you handed me a cup of red wine and i ran away to go vomit!” you said as you both laughed.

“you’re gonna have a little cousin soon!!” you said to wyatt and elliotte as you picked them both up and they laughed

“yay!!” wyatt said knowing she’d have some company besides her sister soon.

“oh y/n. i’m so happy for you!!” mama kelce said as she came over to hug you

“aw thank you mama. i love you!!!” you said as you hugged her back tightly

jason and travis had come over now after conversating about the news.

“so happy for you guys!!” jason said as he walked over to hug you

“thank you j!!” you said as you hugged him back.

“guess you took the comment i made on the podcast the other day a little too literally…” jason said immediately causing everyone to bust out laughing

“hey i have to be the favorite somehow!” travis said as he shrugged his shoulders

ed travis and jason’s dad came over to congratulate you also.

after that everyone had cleared out for the night to their own homes leaving you and travis alone. you were both showered and in bed together.

“you happy baby?” trav asked as you laid with your head on his chest and his hand rubbing over your belly.

“happiest girl in the world my love…” you said as you reached upwards to kiss his lips.

“mmhm i love you and our baby so much,” he said as he kissed your forehead after separating away from the kiss

“i love you more babe. now get some rest we get to see our baby for the first time tomorrow!!” you said causing trav to get excited and immediately drift off to sleep.

you were so beyond blessed and grateful knowing your baby would be brought into a world where they were absolutely loved and adored by their family. and that’s all you could ask for.

“i love you more babe. now get some rest we get to see our baby for the first time tomorrow!!” you said causing trav to get excited and immediately drift off to sleep. you were so beyond blessed and grateful knowing your baby would be brought into a world where they were absolutely loved and adored by their family. and that’s all you could ask for.

you were so beyond blessed and grateful knowing your baby would be brought into a world where they were absolutely loved and adored by their family. and that’s all you could ask for.

[artsyaech]

emos of tumblr

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : TIKTOK DANCE

*Mia decides to do a viral tiktok dance with this song 👇🏼* idea from @hoodharlow 💕

“Mommy, can we do a TikTok dance.?” Mia asks you, walking into the living room.

“Oh yes.” You answer excitedly. “Which one baby?”

“This one.” She hands you the iPad, and goes to your private family account and shows you what trend she wants to do.

You don’t give the kids any screen time during the week, but on the weekends you let them use the family iPad for an hour give or take.

When Mia or Ezequiel are on tiktok it’s usually supervised, you and Jack make sure they watch appropriate content.

But you have been playing that song a lot when you and Mia run errands. Plus her godmother recently did a song with him. So when she met him backstage at Coachella she fell in love with his blinged out spider man chain.

“Okay, this seems pretty easy. Who does what?” You ask her, as you set up the iPad.

“You, then me.”

You two were practicing for a while until you got it right. Just when you were about to film the actual video, your favorite boys walk in.

“What you doing momma?” Ez asks, looking at the set up.

“We’re gonna do a video, Cheesy.” Mia answers for you.

Jack and Ezequiel sit down on the couch and look at the both of you waiting to do your thing.

“Compa que le párese esa morra, la que anda bailando sola.” Mía sings loudly with her eyes closed while the both of you dance.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT, NO NO NO.”

You and Mia freeze.

“What? What’s wrong?.” You ask him confused.

“My daughter singing and dancing to that song is a big no.” He stands up, shaking his head. “And to the song of the one guy fans are shipping you with, nope.”

“Babe-“ You chuckle at his silly jealousy.

“I said no Y/N.”

“But daddy, it’s just a song.” Mia shrugs, but is amused by her dad’s reaction.

“I said no Alize Mia Harlow.” Jack says more sternly.

“WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN??” Mia yells, pushes at his stomach and runs off crying, you could only assume to her bedroom since after a few seconds you hear a door slam.

You glare at your husband. “What is wrong with you?”

“She’s six, she doesn’t need to be dancing and singing to that. I know what it says.”

“Oh so you know fluent Spanish out of nowhere?” You take a deep breath. “Why aren’t you letting her express herself creatively? She’s having fun, we’re having fun doing a silly TikTok trend.”

Jack shrugs and sits down next to Ez who’s just glaring at his dad. “She can express herself with another song that isn’t his”

You roll your eyes, look at your son “Earmuffs mijo.” Ezequiel covers his ears.

You glare back at your husband. “Jackman, be fucking for real right now!!!! You’re getting mad at our daughter over something silly.”

You look back at Ezequiel and nod, he then uncovers his ears. “Let’s go check up on sissy, while your dad thinks hard about his actions.”

You are entering Mia’s bedroom and you see her sitting on the middle of her bed looking sad.

“You okay sissy? Dad was big mean.” Your son runs to your daughter's bed and sits next to her.

Mia only shrugs.

“Baby bug, daddy didn’t mean it.” You sit down next to her and brush her hair out of her face.

“He yelled mama, he never yells.” She says through hiccups.

You sigh, “I know baby, maybe he needs a nap time.” You hug her.

“No excuse mama, he needs to use soft and nicer words.”

Just then the door opens. “You are one hundred percent right Mia, I should use nice words.”

“You hurt my feelings daddy.”

You and Ezequiel are hugging Mia, and staring at Jack.

“I’m so sorry princess.” He’s walking towards the bed and kneels on the floor, his elbows touching the mattress.

“It was just a silly thing I was feeling and I took it out on you. Which is never acceptable.”

Mia nods. “I forgive you.”

Jack smiles sadly at her. “You can go back to doing your video.”

“I do it with yous Mia.” Ezequiel cheers and hops off the bed, Mia following behind him.

Now it’s just you and Jack in Mia’s bedroom, you’re staring at him but don’t say anything.

“I’m sorry baby.” He says after a while of being silent.

“Hmm.”

“I got jealous that every dude at Coachella was checking you out. Then I go on Instagram and see fans are saying you two make a cute couple, and it just got to me.” He sighs. “I shouldn’t have dumped that onto Mia, she did nothing wrong.”

You nod. “Whose ring is on my finger?”

“Mine.”

“Who’s last name do I have?”

“Mine.”

“And whose children did I give birth to?” You ask him.

“Mine.”

“Okay so get that through that big head of yours. I don’t care about anyone else. I love you, you’re my man, my husband, and no one is taking me away from you.” You tell him. It’s rare for Jack to get jealous, and you never had to reassure him of your relationship, so it’s catching you off guard.

“I know bubs, I just panicked and the fact that your brothers liked every comment made me even more panicked.”

You roll your eyes at that and laugh. “He’s a huge deal right now in the Latino community. My brothers are fans, of course those losers would hit like to that. But also because they want me to collab with him.”

He nods. “Should we go see if Mia and Ez got the video down?”

You nod and follow him out the door and back to the living room.

“So.” Mia says smiling, putting her hands on her waist. “Nino Urby called.”

“What did he say?”

Ez and Mia share a look. “Daddy you think mommy loves Pluma?”

“What? No.” Jack answers.

“I saw the video where he says hi to momma, he smiling like when you smile at momma.” Mia says.

“IN LOVE.” Ez yells.

“Kids no.” You’re shaking your head.

“Nina and Momma and Pluma are friends. Why are you and Nino so jelly?” Mia asks, rolling her eyes.

“I AM NOT JELLY.” Jack exclaims.

“Hmm sure you’re not.” Mia looks at you and smiles. “He’s so silly.”

••••••••••••••••••••

Liked by yourbestiename, yourbrothername, pesopluma, allabouttheharlows, and 6,346,997 others

keepingupwithynharlow 🥵😍 I NEED A SONG WITH THESE TWO NOW!!!!

View all 1,300 comments

user yesss

user Oh holy damn 🥵

user He’s cheesing extra hard!!!!

user Jack who??? Helloooo PESO PLUMA

user Can she leave her white husband for an actual Latino?

yourusername No, I’m good. Y’all can keep him though. I’ll continue to have more babies and making moves with my white boy 🥰🤞🏼

jackharlow I don’t need to be seeing y’all romanticizing my wife with another dude!

druski So can we talk about how Jack went off on poor little Mia because she was singing one of dudes song 😭😭😭😭

urbanwyatt YOOO 💀

claybornharlow Funny ass shit when Ezequiel told us.

jackharlow FUCK ALL YA

•

TAG LIST

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[kymiya]

geordi n cutie headcanons bc im trying to manifest their next audio

⋅ cutie can (and will) fuck up a seafood boil, i mean sauce all over their face and hands, broken crab shells everywhere, they dgaf 💀

⋅ geordi is a clean freak, and not in the way you’re thinking, he’s a clean freak because he literally cannot handle the thought of judgment. his anxiety is actually eating away at him when (or if) people come over

⋅ speaking of which, geordi actually doesn’t like inviting people over. well, he doesn’t really mind if people come over, but he would much rather go over to other people’s houses for his own comfort

⋅ cutie is also the same, but not for the same reason. cutie is the BIGGEST people watcher (and listener) and likes to sit back and observe how people react and move, not in a creepy way tho 😭just so they can get a gist of how they should respond and what to be mindful of

⋅ cutie HATESSS conflict, in any way. confrontation, fighting, awkward tension, hates it with a passion. which is a continuation of the last hc, they read peoples’ minds so much so they don’t have to ever deal with accidentally confusing or offending someone

⋅ geordi has the softest hands known to man, but they get sweaty easily, which is something he hates, i just KNOW this mf hates sweat. the feeling of it, skin on skin. which is one of the reasons he doesn’t like running

⋅ cutie and geordi have nights where they will binge one of their childhood shows, snuggled up in a weighted blanket (they both fall asleep within 15-20 mins 🫶🏾)

⋅ geordi’s personality gives off “mama’s boy” vibes but is actually closer with his dad, mostly because he n his mom held different viewpoints

⋅ geordi also has scars from his childhood from random times he was clumsy asf 💀he isn’t ever really insecure about it, but he’s never felt better about them until cutie started kissing each one and giving him compliments

⋅ cutie specifically gets lipstick only to cover geordi’s face in lipstick stains (like that one tiktok trend), but instead of posting it, they make it their home screen. geordi’s cute ass smile, lips n the rest of his face covered in red stains in the shape of cutie’s lips. UGHH i hate them

⋅ geordi gets lost in ikea very often

⋅ he also loves the kitchen sets and stays there for an abundance of time analyzing each parts (so real)

⋅ their first kiss as a couple was so awkward 😭geordi was trying to plan out how it would happen but after cutie kissed him on the lips without warning, he forgot how to function n just stood there. cutie literally heard his mind go blank, and it was like that for a couple of seconds. it was cute but actually so awkward for both of them (and geordi hates when cutie brings it up)

⋅ geordi had (and still has) lego sets as a kid and never let them go, nd he accidentally bring it up in a convo between them and now cutie helps build them with him

⋅ geordi’s body is naturally very warm, so when they cuddle in the spring/summer, they have to have thinner bed sheets n blankets so they both don’t wake up in sweat 💀

⋅ cutie does not want geordi meeting their family/parent(s), and not because they’re ashamed of geordi, because they never could be (who tf would??). but because they don’t have a good relationship with them

⋅ i feel like geordi moved a lot when he was younger, so he had trouble making friends n mostly stayed to himself, until he finally got to settle down in college nd met guy, which is still his bestfriend to this day

⋅ cutie had issues fitting in with others when they were younger, nd its a popular headcanon that they got their powers late (i think 😭), so when they started reading people's minds, they began to change in order to maintain friends

⋅ i genuinely can’t pick between if cutie and geordi would’ve meet in college/high school, but if they did, i feel like cutie probably changed their appearance A LOTT like they weren’t recognizable at first when geordi saw them at the park

⋅ geordi is CRAZYY good at math (i also don’t know if he’s a teacher or an accountant (in the recent audio)) (if he is a teacher, he’d be either a math or english teacher, ik it’s basic but 🤷🏾‍♀️)

[r0ttenb0gb0dy]

jeegan pumpkin carving. thoughts?

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS OK

so if you caught them carving pumpkins in like their teen years they would've absolutely been doing like the most edge lord shit possible . covering each other in pumpkin guts and jack's mom telling them they HAVE to bake the seeds for a snack and like... she's not wrong okay!!!! mama skalbek takes care of them boys and even bought the cool lights for the pumpkins that changed colors!

but adult them? jack took so many sculpture classes in college and he takes this shit SO seriously . its an olympic sport . he will happily carve pumpkins, turnips, apples, whatever the fuck anyone can get him to carve . bet you he'd try and put a face on a radish if his hands were steady enough . he absolutely convinced the ghosts that they should carve their masks into pumpkins, though, and even if they didn't wanna he would do it for them .

a third little brain worm is absolutely that in an alternate universe them doing the pumpkin head tiktok trend....im crying because no it'd be so cute and jack would love it 😭

[shutupandplayasong]

Mandela Catalogue HCs

heheh hyperfixation go brrrrr

Please don't yell at me if these suck im sensitive 🥺 /hj

Mark:

Would have been the best big brother to Sarah I stg

Not afraid to wear a tiara and feather boa and have a tea party with her

This towering young man sat on a dinky little plastic chair sipping imaginary tea, pinky out and all

Aaagghhhhhhh i love him

Definitely one of those "super talented, high iq, gifted kids" before the burnout hit him

Every Christmas, Easter, and birthday he'd ask his parents for a dog. He never got one :(

Not exactly a Disney adult, just a big fan of animated movies in general.

I think his favorites would be The Iron Giant, Monsters Inc, and Lilo and Stitch

Honorable mentions to The Fox and The Hound and Oliver and Company but they make him cry

Mark Heathcliff best boy 1,000,000/10

Cesar:

Cesar fans, you have my whole heart fr

You really took nothing and ran with it I can't not respect that

I see him as a total mama's boy. As far as I know, there's no mention of his dad anywhere so I imagine it's just him and his mom.

As a little boy he was like "I'm gonna be the man of the house now!" and he stuck to it like glue

Taking the trash out, doing the dishes, mowing the lawn because "Mom, you deserve to get off your feet, you're working too hard"

I think him being a mama's boy and having so much respect for her would translate into huge respect for women in general

I like the idea of him painting his nails ❤

His room is like a walk-in freezer you can literally see his breath when he sleeps

Used to skateboard but eventually "grew out of it" (he actually broke his wrist and is too scared to do it again)

Adam:

This toxic little fuck i love him

The most "dont talk to me until I've had my coffee" person you'll ever meet.

Not having consistent access to coffee must have been miserable for him when he was on the run. Doubly miserable for poor Jonah having to put up with a grouchy Adam for who even knows how long

You remember that tiktok trend from a few years ago like "I look really intimidating until I smile"? ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM!!!

He's such an angsty little shit with the most severe case of resting bitch face disease but on the rare occasion he actually smiles??? Human sunshine

Definitely the type to look down when he smiles to try and hide it

Wouldn't be caught DEAD singing out loud, but will absolutely murmur songs to himself under his breath.

Just imagining him folding laundry or cooking and singing whatever song is stuck in his head to himself I LOVE THIS MAN

He likes rock music in general but I feel like he's really into songs like Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. Yknow those really mopey mid 2000s ballads?

Shattered by OAR, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, stuff like that

Jonah:

Rip jonah you would've loved tiktok

Was a theater kid but he got kicked out of class. Dude was just too hyper to follow directions

What can he say? He just stole the spotlight 🤪 (he's crying inside)

Walks into every room twirling his car keys around his finger like a dork

Can not be trusted to stand still, it's best to just make him wear one of those backpack leashes for everyone's safety

A gamer but not in a toxic way. He's actually terrible at games but he thinks it's fun to dick around and goof off in them.

You knows those "girlfriend who bites" memes? That's him. He's the girlfriend who bites.

Thatcher:

You've heard of wine moms, you've heard of wine aunts, well get ready for wine dad

I feel like he paints? He strikes me as very artsy

Loves plants but can't keep them alive for shit. It's not even that he forgets to water them, he follows all the instructions, the plants just hate him

Can't sleep without a TV on, or at least some sort of white noise or music playing.

Total garbage at gift giving lmao but he's trying his best

"I got you this card. Happy birthday."

"Thatcher, this says 'My condolences'"

"I know"

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

So I'm going to take a moment to explain myself....

I caught wind of your little plan to use screenshots of fan posts for 🐟 to make a sympathy play with the public along with that random article about needing security

I'm guessing it's the reason why she started unblocking people on her IG account at the same time hoping for more of the trolling comments on her posts like the ones she left up WAY BACK in her comments section attacking Chris etc and why some Tumblr blogs decided to remove some of their posts so they couldn't be used against them,

Since I've gotten blamed for a lot of things I figured I might be a target

So instead of backing down to the intimidation tactics I decided to make use of their own plan and create an exposé using the like video

I'm sure it's sucked for all of them to not get to dance to the tune of their own fiddle

I have warned you before I'd love the extra attention

It's that "Leo" ego and Scorpio Mars

I thought to myself if 🐟 wants the attention well then let's let her have it 😀 I'd be happy for the viewing boost along with it

So I went wide on Twitter/IG/Tumblr/Tiktok/Reddit with a mix of the Mama Lisa like video and mixed in my own watermarked content so if people went looking for the account source due to a clickbait article quote to go troll or harass me they'd find a bunch more revealing info on both the accounts and the hashtags

Not to mention the Kyle Marisa content aligning with the sentiments from the selfie and the like video, and the fact she shared my Tiktok to her IG story was genuinely pure luck and timing, so big shout out to her

Kismet *chefs kiss*

If they decided to buy clicks due to the chatter they were creating to get her trending exposure then the content would trend along with it giving the boost meaning they'd be helping to pay for distribution of the disabling content themselves

I honestly still think this entire situation is horseshit with his friends dropping content the way they are, it still doesn't track as legitimate to me, I meant what I said when I specified my opinion on this situation previously, but because I can't be certain that it's not real the potential to go down together is there if they wanted to fund it

Ultimately rich white boy can afford to pay others to defend him, some of us still have to go into bat for ourselves given our limited resources but that doesn't mean we don't have useful tools at our disposal, we are a fandom with extensive social media training and Photoshop skills after all

So go ahead, try to blame the fans if you want but the info is out there ready and waiting to be discovered

So in the weirdest way if it is legitimately PR then I doubt Chris would want to help fund his own downfall by buying clicks and whoever's backing her can't do so without disadvantaging both of them, I doubt they'd want to do that to the bigger star given they're still not getting the returns they had in mind, and she now can't take advantage of the link without screwing herself over

And if it's real they both lose out, oops

It's always been said it will end how it began except at this end it's not us getting trolled into a reaction, it's them getting starved for the attention they so desperately crave

The Tower card flipped

How do you like them apples?

🪽✨

[insomnias-wonderland]

My 2024 MAMA Thoughts

My 2024 MAMA Thoughts

Does anyone even care about MAMA at this point? Well, I’m a few years in to these kinds of posts and feel like I’m in too deep to stop this tradition now! Again, this is mostly to help me reflect on my artist and song preferences from the year, and also will be a little time-capsule of sorts to be nostalgic about in the future.

As before, the first artist/song is my vote based on the nominations released, then if relevant, I will also shout-out the artists/songs I wish were actually nominated for that category.

Best Male Group: Stray Kids (their stage presence is unreal, ATE album had some staying power for me); even though I didn’t vibe with a lot of boy groups this year, I wish ATEEZ was also nominated - the fact that they weren’t is so wild to me!

Best Female Group: TWICE (With YOU-th is such an amazing album! Plus I’m still 3rd gen biased all the way!); I wish Dreamcatcher was nominated, as always

Best Male Artist: Taemin (his Eternal album was so good);  not sure where the release date cutoff is for nominations, but I wish DPR IAN was nominated for his 10/2023 work alone

Best Female Artist: IU (I got to see her at her HEREH tour and it was amazing!!); Younha is never nominated for these, but I wish she was!

Best Dance Performance - Male Group: ENHYPEN - “Sweet Venom”; I wish Stray Kids’ “Chk Chk Boom” was nominated instead of “Lalalala”

Best Dance Performance - Female Group: aespa - “Supernova” (it’s iconic, simple as that)

Best Dance Performance - Male Solo: Jungkook - “Standing Next to You”

Best Dance Performance - Female Solo: Nayeon - “ABCD”

Best Vocal Performance - Solo: IU - “Love wins all” (more like IU wins all, she’s the best!)

Best Vocal Performance - Group: Red Velvet - “Cosmic” (really torn between RV and (G)I-DLE but it’s for vocals! Gotta be RV!); again, I wish the nomination was just 2 words: Dreamcatcher - “JUSTICE”. Simple as that.

Best Rap & HipHop Performance: DEAN - “Die 4 U” (he reappeared with a vengeance); I wish Epik High - “Antihero” was nominated

Best Collaboration: GroovyRoom, Huh Yunjin & Crush - “Yes or No” (I’m a sucker for GroovyRoom’s beats…); I wish Xdinary Heroes & Yoon Do Hyun - “iNSTEAD!” was nominated

Best Band Performance: LUCY - “The knight who can’t die and the silk cradle” (this category is sooo tough for me as I love N.Flying, HYUKOH, Day6, and LUCY, but objectively I have to say out of the songs actually nominated, LUCY’s is the strongest)

Best Choreography: LE SSERAFIM - “Crazy” (mores than TikTok trends, I liked it as another way of elevating Ballroom Vogue into more of the mainstream consciousness)

Best New Male Artist: NCT Wish (didn’t really feel strongly about any of the new boy group debuts this year but SM always has good production)

Best New Female Artist: QWER (I don’t really vibe with their particular style, but I love their presence in the industry!)

Personal Artist of the Year Candidates: Dreamcatcher, LUCY, Xdinary Heroes, Younha

Personal Song of the Year Candidates: Dreamcatcher - “JUSTICE”, LUCY - “The Knight Who Can’t Die and the Silk Cradle”, NMIXX - “DASH”, Xdinary Heroes - “Save me”

Personal Album of the Year Candidates: Day6 - “Fourever”, Dreamcatcher - “[VirtuouS]”, IU - “The Winning”, TWICE - “With YOU-th”, Xdinary Heroes - “Troubleshooting”, Younha - “Growth Theory”

[bonniefront]

* I've had this drawing for about two weeks but I was waiting for Instagram to fix it's stupid music feature so I could put a song over it. And it's been fixed so I posted there, which means I can post it here, too

* That song "Mama's Boy" was trending on TikTok recently and I really wanted to do something with it. So I liked to this part over and over imagining various OCs that could fit and I finally settled on these two. Alfred and Noah

* Alfred and Noah are both heavily neglected by their mothers. Alfred is pushed aside in favor for his older brother who's the golden child, and Noah's mother is just not in the right headspace to be caring for a child. These two hate their moms for their behavior. They hate how they're invisible to their own family, how the one who's supposed to care the most doesn't care at all

* And even so, they still seek for their mothers approval

* There's always a small part of them that hopes that their moms will change. That they'll get better, tell them how they're so proud and how they love them so much. Maybe she'll come around. Maybe she'll be different

* But she never does

* And they're not sure why they're so disappointed when they knew this was going to happen

[sinfulwrites]

Slashers reacting to their S/O calling them their first name again.

Hi!! I'm alive!

I bring slasher stuff this time. I was watching a tiktok trend where people call their partner by their first name and it inspired me to write this. Enjoy!!

Jason Voorhees

Don’t be alarmed, but you’re going to scare his soul right out of him.

Especially if you say his name in a serious tone, now he thinks he’s in trouble.

Near the beginning of your relationship to Jason, he always seemed to act very odd when you called his name. Like an alert dog who heard the heel command. Not that there was anything wrong with that, maybe a little startling at most.

It’s because he knows to listen if he hears his name being called, and before you were ever around, it would have been mama Voorhees speaking to him. And she gets his 100% attention. But you don’t know that, and he can’t exactly explain it to you either.

You started calling him a simple pet name at first, just to see how he reacted to it. Something as simple as “honey.”

He didn’t negatively react, but you also didn’t get that snap around reaction. Almost like a, “... Oh, they must be talking to me!” kind of responses. But he didn’t address you calling him by something else.

Little did you know he was gushing.

Jason loves nicknames! Even all grown up, he loves being called his mom’s “special little boy.” Deep down he was hoping for you to start calling him by a nickname, but he wasn’t going to ask you to. Then it’s not special!

And so, it became the norm. So much so that if you did refer to him by his name he’s immediately going to think something is wrong, or he did something wrong and is now trying to retrace all his steps up until now.

Will calm down when he realizes it’s nothing serious, but is now wondering why you didn’t call him what you usually did. That’s not my name anymore…

OG Michael Myers

Loooong stare down after you do it.

“... Didn’t realize we were back to that level, Y/N.”

God, Y/N, pick one!

When you first started calling Michael a nickname, he really hated it at first. His name is Michael. Not baby, and especially not boo. But eventually, it became routine. He got used to being referred to as your honey.

When you’re at the level where he tolerates your nicknames, you’ve definitely had a few arguments and disagreements by now. Especially considering who you decided to start dating.

He has now started thinking “Full name = Y/N is mad.” Now he doesn’t want to be called Michael.

And you’re the one who needs to pick one…

You can only roll your eyes at this point.

“Sorry, honey, can you please take the trash with you?”

He finally took the damn trash from you and continued on with his night to do whatever it was he did when he left.

Probably best not to ask.

RZ Michael Myers

Immediately stops whatever he’s doing and looks at you.

Will do a complete 180 if he has too.

What did you say??

Now, he’s familiar with what’s going on. When people are in a relationship, they use nicknames. His mom and step dad did. (If “Whore” and “Fucker” were nicknames.)

In the beginning, he didn’t like it, but he knew why you were doing it. He eventually warmed up to the idea of only being your sweetie. (But best believe if anyone heard, they’ll never see the light of day again.)

Like with his OG counterpart, you’re going to argue with this man. It’s inevitable. He knows when his name is called in that firm tone, you’re gonna get in a fight. But unlike his counterpart, he doesn’t always contribute it to you being mad. He knows what you’re doing.

You found out how much he preferred to be called a nickname and is now teasing him with his real now and then to mess with him. Consider it your little payback for always having to clean up all the mud he tracks into the house.

He has two usual responses. The stare before he just rolls his eyes and stops humoring you, now only responding if you call him “sweetie.” And the other…

“I’m sorry, sweetie, please keep your boots on the porch! I just cleaned the floors.”

He stares at you for a while longer before finally conceding and removing his boots by the door.

“Thanks… Michael.”

Boots immediately drop on the floor, door flung shut, you’re scooped straight up and taken right there in the dining room. On your stupidly expensive dining room table.

Hope you didn’t have plans later.

2018 Michael Myers

Today was a fairly simple day. Michael stayed home all day, just sticking around you a little more than usual. Nothing too out of the ordinary. He even let you lay on him as you watched a movie together.

Well, you were mostly watching it. He was just looking at you.

He always just looks at you. It could mean a million things, and he doesn’t plan to let you in on what he’s thinking any time soon.

When you first called him a nickname, it was like he wasn’t ever going to stop looking at you. He stared so long you thought he hated it, and almost didn’t do it again. He had been called many things in his long life in the pen, but you were the first to call him something as cute as “baby.” Loomis must be rolling in his grave.

Nowadays he’s used to it. “Michael” is now a foreign name to him coming from you. Sometimes he might ignore you out of spite because you didn’t say the right name. Oh but now he can suddenly hear you when you say “baby.”

Perhaps it was the tame atmosphere that made you so relaxed which caused the slip.

“Michael, are you hungry?”

At first you’re met with silence, and very soon you got a shake of the head. But not to your question.

“Don’t refer to me by my government name.”

It was so sudden and out of nowhere you couldn’t help but laugh. His tone didn’t indicate any humor, but you knew he was joking because he pulled you closer after he said it. If he was mad, you’d have been shoved off.

Now you’re in shock.

The Shape just cracked a joke.

Maybe his old age softened him around the edges. Maybe this was one of his special little “only for you” moments.

“... I thought your government name was a bunch of numbers.”

You were only met with a huff inside his mask. You could practically hear the eye roll too.

Unluckily for him, you just love to mess with him whenever you can. Unfortunately for you, you also forgot that he’s gonna punish you later for it. You’ll remember soon enough.

Brahms Heelshire

Immediate puppy eyes.

“It’s baby, Y/N…”

In that pleading tone, as if you genuinely forgot.

He didn’t think he was going to be as excited as he was when you first called him your baby. He had always hoped you would, but couldn’t get himself to ask you to call him a nickname. He couldn’t use the rule card, it wasn’t a rule, and you would definitely notice if he added it to the rules.

He almost cried when you did it the first time. He immediately asked you to say it again. And again and again… Until he decided he needed to hear you scream it. (Good thing he worked for it, if you catch my drift…)

Fair to say, it wasn’t hard to figure out he liked being called that. So, you referred to him as your baby. You saved his name for moments when he was throwing his many tantrums about something so small.

“First Name = In Trouble” formula again.

Especially if he genuinely did nothing wrong, You will have to reassure him about twenty times that he is not in trouble, it was just a slip of the tongue. You might have to slip a little more to fully calm him down… (Sex at 2 oclock fast approaching.)

If you’re trying to scold him though, that just might ignite his flame even more. “It’s not Brahms! I’m baby!”

He certainly matches the name… Thankfully right now, he was being good for real.

“You’re right baby, I’m sorry.”

He spares you the usual routine and settles with a long snuggle until he feels better since the two of you were outside. You were cleaning the traps, so you had to endure the dead rat smell for a little bit.

He’s lucky you love him.

Bo Sinclair

“Uh, who’s Bo?”

“Uuuh… You?”

“I don’t know no “Bo,” sweetheart.”

God, this man makes such a scene. Will drag the joke on way too long. It’s not funny anymore Bo, please stop.

He was probably the first one to start doing the nickname thing. Actually, he probably said “fuck no” to the first name basis very early one. You aren’t “Y/N,” you’re his darlin. His very special sweetheart. It was only a matter of time until you started doing it too.

It became a game between you two, with you insisting to “let it happen naturally.” With his brilliant argument of, “or ya could say it now.” With that sly grin and wink of his.

Unsuprisingly, it slipped out of you during sex. And you best believe he had you screaming it like a prayer for the rest of the night. (Poor Vincent.)

After giving in, Bo now pulls these moves whenever you say his name. Unless it’s in the middle of an argument. He’s too angry then.

After you roll your eyes at your ridiculous boyfriend he will scoop you up into his lap, kissing you from head to neck, definitely kissing your breasts before he teases you again.

“I don’t gotta remind you my name, do I darlin…?”

And very wisely, you shake your head no.

Vincent Sinclair

He notices immediately when it happens.

“Hey Vincent, can I help you out at all?”

You saying his name threw him off for a moment, but he brushed it off. It wasn’t too big of a deal. You don’t even notice what you said either. There was no reason to make a fuss.

Vincent was used to affectionate nicknames from his mother and father, so he was familiar with the nickname thing. Doesn’t make him any less warm and fuzzy inside when you call him “baby” for the first time. He can’t stop himself from pulling you close to him and bumping your foreheads together.

Every now and then it takes him by surprise when you say his actual name, but unless he knows he’s in trouble, he never points it out or brings it up.

Truth be told, you never did notice what you said because you got lost in watching Vincent sculpt his wax sculptures and helping whenever you could.

It sadly had to end though, you unfortunately had things to do. With one last hug in his lap and a kiss on his cheek, you part. Of course, calling him baby on your way out.

You don’t see it, but he smiles when he hears the nickname again.

That sounds much better.

Bubba Sawyer

You were rushing. Drayton would be home soon, and you and Bubba.. Let’s say, you forgot about the chores for a while. Now you were both hauling ass to finish cleaning before Drayton got back.

“Bubba, I need the broom please!”

He did bring you the broom, but you could tell he was giving you a weird look.

Oh, you have no idea how happy he was when he first heard “sweetie” leave your lips for the first time. He nearly scoops you up and twirls you around; he's so happy!

His favorite is “pumpkin.” It gets him a little more giddy than the others.

As far as he’s concerned, he is “baby, sweetie, and pumpkin” for now on. Who’s Bubba? Never heard of him.

He doesn’t even care if Drayton picks on him for the babying you do to him. It’s special between the two of you, and nothing Drayton says will change it.

“Thank you bab…” You noticed the look. You knew he was pouting behind that mask. Despite working against the clock here, you can’t help but laugh and hug him close, making sure to give him a big kiss on the cheek. He shamelessly picks you up and holds you close as you do.

“Thank you baby, but you gotta put me down, we gotta finish up.”

You’re both upset by having to part, but you both knew you didn’t want to be wacked by Drayton when he got home.

He’ll stroke your cheek before going back to cleaning, all giddy and happy again.

Thomas Hewitt

“Hey Thomas, you want some sweet tea?”

The cleaver hit the cutting board one more time before it was left planted in the wood so Thomas could turn and look at you.

By now you’ve realized the mistake, and you knew what was coming.

Thomas was only used to being called mean names his whole life, so when you start calling him something so soft and sweet, he can barely handle it.

The love he felt in just being called your “sweetheart” almost had him in tears. To hell with Hoyt and his teasing, no matter what anyone says, he’s your sweetheart. Your sweetie pie if you insist. You’re the only one to make him feel so happy with a simple nickname, nothing was ruining this for him.

Sadly, you two fight sometimes. Every couple does, and you two always make up in the end. This has got him into the mindset of “name = in trouble” though, so sometimes he’ll think he’s in trouble. The other times though, he shows off that sass he keeps deep inside.

“Sure, Y/N.”

You both immediately cringe, and agree never to do it again with some giggling and kissing. The sweet tea has long been forgotten. He wants something even sweeter…