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ironstrange1991 · 2 years ago

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Dating multiple Stephens would include...

Headcanon / Imagine (Fluffy / Smut)

Pairing: Defender!Strange x Fem!Reader, Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader, Supreme!Strange x Fem!Reader (Established Relationship)

Warnings: +18 Slight mentions of sexual content including oral sex with both male and female receiving, anal sex, fingering, rough sex.

A/N: This is completely nonsensical, non-canonical for obvious reasons, incursions and blablabla. It's basically me obsessed with the idea so I needed to write it. Sinister isn't here because I can't imagine him in this scenario, it just doesn't make sense to me. Read the One Shot based in this headcanon ;)

- You fell in love first with Doctor Strange, then came the other two: Defender Strange and Supreme Strange, three versions of the same man sharing the same timeline and universe and no, it never crossed your mind to choose between them.

-You call them Stephen which obviously causes some confusion. When you call one of them the three show up asking what you need and when you're mad you scream their name and the three show up with those worried faces wanting to know what they did wrong. It's so cute that most of the time you even forget why you were mad and end up letting it go.

- You, on the other hand, are never confused. First, because each of them has a different tone of voice. Supreme's voice is smoother, it's almost like he sings as he speaks. Defender has the huskiest, roughest voice and may be all in your head, but you sometimes get a foreign accent when he says certain words, probably because he speaks so many different languages. Your Doctor Strange has a deeper voice and you can recognize these tiny details even when they whisper your name in the morning.

- Each one of them has a different pet name for you and you love each one of them. Supreme calls you Honey, Doctor Strange calls you Sweetheart, and Defender calls you Baby.

- You had to establish strict rules. As soon as you embarked on this unconventional relationship you soon realized that you had to set some rules before they kill each other or drive you crazy because they argue all the time.

- Even with the rules they still argue and that's a big part of your relationship, you spend a lot of time calming their tempers and making them understand each other by ensuring that you love all three equally and that you are enough for all three and that you will give enough attention to the three of them and God help you if one of them gets it into their head that you are privileging one over the others. -Cough cough Supreme Strange-

- Supreme is the most jealous and the most dramatic, he will always complain that you are not paying enough attention to him. He is also the first to pick fights with others out of jealousy.

Doctor Strange is also jealous, but he's nowhere near as clingy as Supreme. He is much sure of himself, he will tease you all day and make you crave his attention instead.

Defender is not jealous, he is the most mature of the three, the most serious and he hates fights and arguments. On the other hand he is extremely affectionate and he knows that you love his caresses, the kisses he gives on your forehead. He's too sure of himself to be jealous.

- To avoid fights you sleep one night with each of them unless you ask them to do something different, but that's another story. They usually prefer one at a time. They are obsessed with control and think that everything is more balanced that way. Nobody has more or less of you.

- You all sleep together of course, what's the point of dating three Stephens if you can't have all three fucking you at the same time? And you love those nights when you have three pairs of hands on you and three mouths to kiss and three cocks to play with and use all night. You do everything but sleep on these occasions.

- You also only sleep with two of them, depending on the day if one of them is more tired than the others and decides to go to bed earlier, but you'll have to make up for it the next morning. Again, everything must be perfectly balanced.

- Of course, each of them has their own way of fucking you and that's what makes everything so exciting.

Defender is extremely affectionate, he treats you like a goddess, he worships you, he showers you with praise and fucks you at a slower and more intense pace, very sensual. He's also the best at oral sex, you won't say it out loud unless you want to start a war between them, but you make sure to let him know by whispering in his ear that you love it when he eats you out and makes you moan loudly as you come in his mouth, sometimes more than once in a night. He also has a submissive side that you adore, but he will only reveal this when the two of you make love alone. He loves that you pull his hair, choke him and decide when and where he can cum.

- Supreme is extremely cocky and the most egocentric of them, he is a little bit of a narcissist and thinks he is the most beautiful and perfect Stephen Strange in the multiverse and he fucks you like he has to prove that he is better and superior at everything. He really is the best at anal sex, in fact your first time was with him and he treated you so lovingly and made you feel so comfortable that anal sex became a recurring thing between you two. You love it. Overall, he is affectionate but not as affectionate as Defender, he fucks you at a faster pace, he is rough at times, especially when he is angry and you use a lot of sex to calm him down, but he always asks if you are well and if you want him to go slower with you.

- Doctor Strange loves to talk dirty with you, he loves to stick his fingers in you and fuck you with them while he talks all kinds of obscenities in your ear, he's the only one who can make you come so fast and with so little effort. Mutual masturbation is your favorite kink, it's something you always do together and you love it. He loves to play, he loves roleplay, he is always open to new and different things and you have a level of intimacy with him that is even greater than you have with the others. He makes you feel like a whore and you love it. He brings you to your knees and makes you go deep throat on him as he calls you of his little slut or his cock drunk whore. You love that side of him, but that's also reserved for when you're alone. He is the most open to different things and taking risks. He loves toys, he loves to fuck you all over the Sanctum and he fucks you hard and very rough, but he also knows how to be affectionate, it depends on your mood and what you want to do.

- When it's gangbang night you're always surprised how perfect they are together in bed. Like a perfectly orchestrated symphony they know exactly how to play all your strings like a violin and you always cum multiple times through the night feeling like the luckiest woman in the world because these men know how to fuck you and you love to get cock drunk and let them fuck you however they want and for as long as they want until you get yourself spent and collapse into bed and sleep for the rest of the night.

-One specific rule is that having sex with all three also involves sleeping together. After all, you love the after-sex, the aftercare with the three Stephens taking care of you. Each of them worrying about a task. One of them preparing the tub for a hot bath, the other using magic to heal any sex bruises they might have left on you while the other changes the sheets you've ruined with all your fluids and makes the bed ready for you to sleep. And you need to sleep touching all three, you usually sleep between Doctor Strange's legs using his chest as a pillow, Defender to your right and close enough for you to stroke his hair and Supreme to your left holding your hand firmly in his.

- Dating multiple Stephens includes learning about the smallest and cutest differences between them. For example, Defender Strange snores softly, but it doesn't bother you at all. Supreme talks in his sleep, he often mumbles things he read during the day, most things are unintelligible, but you can't help but think it's cute. Doctor Strange has nightmares and usually wakes up in the middle of the night scared and pulls you into his arms because he needs the contact of your body on his to get back to sleep.

- Defender always wakes up very early and is a very light sleeper. Supreme is a super heavy sleeper and it's very difficult to wake him up, in fact it's a struggle to get him up before 9am. Doctor Strange is like you he has insomnia and it's hard to get him to sleep and the constant nightmares don't help. You often wake up in the middle of the night to find your bed empty and you end up finding him in the library reading. On those nights you usually lose sleep, you make the two of you tea and keep him company.

- You also have your favorite way of waking them up in the morning. On the rare occasions when you wake up before Defender you love to play with his hair and give light kisses on the forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks. Usually when you get to his lips he is already fully awake with a beautiful smile on his lips and pulling you closer to him which can lead to morning sex or not, depending on the day. He always wakes up in a good mood.

- Unless it's absolutely necessary you avoid waking Doctor Strange up because it's usually hard to get him to sleep in the first place, but when you need to wake him up, you like to tease him just like he teases you. Kissing his neck and running your hand innocently over his body until it reaches his morning erection and whispering obscenities in his ear. He doesn't like to wake up when he finally gets to sleep, but that way he's less irritated and you can even wipe a smile off his face. It will usually lead to morning sex, unless you're not in the mood, then you'll pleasure him with a hand job usually. He's not grumpy, but he's not super happy in the morning either. He needs time to get into the rhythm of the day.

- Supreme Strange hates waking up early and he sleeps very heavily so it's hard to wake him up. Unless he has a mission or something important to take care of he prefers not to get out of bed before 9am. If you can let him sleep you'll let him sleep because he can be very grumpy in the morning, but when you need to wake him up you blowjob him and he wakes really quickly. He won't be necessarily happy to get out of bed, but he'll definitely be a lot less grumpy.

- Defender is extremely affectionate not only in sex, but throughout the day. He's a kisser, he loves to kiss your forehead and reassure you that you're okay. He's not afraid to tell you he loves you and he does all the time.

- Supreme is touch starved, he needs to always have his hands on you, and he loves having you touching him, whether it's massaging you after a stressful day or surprising you with kisses on the neck. He says he loves you, but it is sporadically, he prefers to show it with small gestures or gifts.

- Doctor Strange is a mix of the other two with the addition that he is super horny. He likes to surprise you by hugging you from behind and rubbing his hips against you making you feel his bulge, he whispers in your ear the things he wants to do with you and then disappears through the Sanctum leaving you totally aroused. He's a teaser. He says he loves you, but usually in bed when you wake up together or go to sleep cuddled after sex.

- Living in the Sanctum with three Stephens also includes being surprised by magic practices fueled by unwanted visits from certain demonic creatures they have to fight which usually ends up with half the Sanctum destroyed and them rebuilding everything with magic afterwards. It's scary and stressful, but it's also magical and you wouldn't trade the adrenaline for anything in the world.

- Another of your rules is that except Defender, the other two Stephens must stay away from your kitchen. Doctor Strange because he has a bad habit of using your fridge to store the most disgusting and horrendous things you can imagine. You forced him to use the attic to store his horrible things and after a big fight he gave in and only went into the kitchen to eat. Supreme because he nearly set the kitchen on fire trying to use magic to cook spaghetti.

Defender on the other hand is a great cook and you always love it when you come home from work and find him cooking, the Sanctum full of that delicious smell of food. You love to hug him from behind and surprise him with a kiss on the shoulder and praise him for being so perfect. Which usually draws jealous looks from the other two.

- Living with three men makes you desperately need your personal space to do your thing and to get away from them sometimes when they annoy you. You have your bedroom where they only enter after knocking on the door and asking permission. No opening portals inside your room. They also don't go through your things or interfere when you're working. That's a rule none of them will break unless they want to pick a fight with you. It's not like you can stay away from them for long though, after a few hours working and doing your thing you'll go looking for them for cuddling.

- Oh yes you need to cuddle. You love cuddling. Movie nights are your favorite nights. Usually Fridays when you come home from work tired. You take a hot shower, sometimes Defender cooks for you, other times you order food and end up lying on your king size sofa. Your head in Supreme's lap, he stroking your hair. Legs thrown in Doctor Strange's lap, he massages your feet or simply leaves his hand on your waist for you to intertwine your fingers with his and Defender lies in front of you, his head resting on your chest. you like to let his hair down and caress him and it's not uncommon that you end up falling asleep there and wake up with one of them picking you up to take you to bed.

- They love to please you, so it's not uncommon for you to come home from work and they're waiting with a hot bath prepared for you in the bathtub, which will lead to a massage session with three pairs of hands caressing your bare body and possibly they will take turns to give you a more intimate massage and make you cum without asking for anything in return. These moments are just for your pleasure and you love it.

- They shower you with gifts. You come home from work and when you go to your room you find small packages on your desk and just take a look at the note to know who the present is before you even open it obviously because it has your pet name on it and because their handwriting is slightly different.

- Supreme has a scrawled handwriting, literally a doctor's handwriting, sometimes you struggle to understand what is written, but you think his handwriting is beautiful just the same.

Defender has a professor's handwriting, his lettering is just fluid and round and slightly pulled to the right

Doctor Strange writes with print letters most of the time, but his handwriting is very beautiful too, just more sloppy yet completely readable.

They all use magic to be able to write.

- The contents of these packages vary, Supreme loves to give you jewelry, Doctor Strange loves to give you lingerie and other toys to use together and Defender knows you love to read so he always picks the best books for you, and he also writes poetry for you.

- You love date night. You love going to the movies or to a good restaurant. You have rules about that too. You set a weekend for each of them and it usually works out pretty well.

- Supreme loves to take you to expensive restaurants, for him everything must be the best always, he's a bit of a snob and you scold him sometimes, but you know deep down you like that side of him.

- Doctor Strange likes night clubs and karaoke’s. He never dances or sings, but he loves to sit in the secluded corner and watch the movement, drink and tease you all night, sometimes he will reach under the table to touch you and make you desperate for him. He is such a whore and you love it. He loves to see you singing, he loves to see you embarrassing yourself singing the most random songs in the world. He knows you like it and it always puts beautiful smiles on his face.

- Defender loves to take you to the movies, but preferably to the theater, he likes opera and you learned to like it because of him. He also loves Shakespeare and will take you to see every possible play on show in town or anywhere else in the world.

- They fight a lot among themselves, but they can't stand it when you fight with one of them. If it happens and you get upset with one of them the others will always find a way to talk to you and ask you to calm down and think it over and convince you to forgive whatever the other Stephen did or didn't do.

- You fight more with Supreme because he's too cocky sometimes and he annoys you, he's overly jealous and sometimes he hurts you by pointing out that you're paying more attention to others when clearly you're not.

- Doctor Strange irritates you because he wants to control everything and he sometimes doesn't take your opinion into consideration. He always wants to be the guy who chooses which movie to watch, he will always have the last word and sometimes he doesn't listen to you and it hurts you.

- You rarely fight with Defender and usually your fights with him are driven by your excessive concern for him. He works too much, he's the Stephen who always ends up hurting the most during missions and he also neglects you to the detriment of work sometimes and it irritates you. But in general you hardly ever really fight with him and he is always the first to apologize and also to ask you to make up with the other Stephens.

- Sometimes you wake up in the morning and forget which Stephen you slept with. It's funny, but they're the same person so it's justifiable too. You don't mistake Defender because his ponytail is unmistakable, but Supreme and Doctor Strange you do sometimes. Especially if they are lying on their stomachs with their face turned away and all you can see is their back and their salt and pepper hair. You find out eventually waking them up with kisses on the neck and making them turn to you. You will never tell them this.

- You love it when you take a nap on the couch and are woken up by one of them. You can usually figure out which one is waking you up before you even open your eyes. Defender wakes you up by kissing your forehead. Supreme wakes you up kissing your cheek and lips and his smooth face hands you over and Doctor Strange wakes you up caressing your face and ruffling your hair. You love all those differences, all the little details that make them who they are and you wouldn't trade your relationship for the world.

Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

MASTERLIST

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rosepetalmark · 4 years ago

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too soon.

↬ Jung Jaehyun x Reader ↬2.5k Words ↬Warnings: Mentions of alcohol ↬ Got in my feels one night listening to Keshi so this is inspired by his song “2 soon”

It hurt not having you there. After the breakup, which you both decided was amicable, something inside him snapped.

At first, he let the sadness take over him. He knew these were all normal emotions to process once a breakup occurred, so he let himself mourn his loss. Just because you both decided you needed to focus on yourselves and careers, doesn’t mean it didn’t pain him knowing you wouldn’t be the first person he was able to hug when he got home from work, let alone kiss you whenever he looked your way.

Most days he tried to distract himself, divulging himself into non stop practise, trying to work harder for the groups latest comeback, rather than drown in sorrow over his want for you and your relationship.

Weeks had passed, and so did his urge to drink. At first he thought one shot would do, take the edge off and distract him from his thoughts and cheer him up a little, but five more shots later he was dizzy, sad, and still thinking of you.

He reached for his phone several times in that moment, glancing at your name that’s been untouched for almost two months, desperately wanting to call you and ask if you’re doing well. If you miss him. If you still love him and much as he loves you.

But each time he stopped himself, something within his heart knowing that you needed this time to heal as well. Hell, maybe you’ve already healed and want nothing to do with him. But he doesn’t know that, and he doesn’t want to know that. He just wants to be with you.

And he knows this isn’t a healthy mentality to have. You both made it known that his career is at a very pivotal point, and that’s what he needs to be focusing on until he feels he is stable enough in his career to balance both being an idol, and a caring boyfriend to you.

So each time he’s alone and in his thoughts, he gets wasted and cries about how he lost you, and how he wants nothing more than to put his career aside than to be with you. If you ever heard him say those words, he knows you’d be upset, wanting his happiness and career to be put first. It came before you after all, and you never wanted to be the reason for his career ever taking a negative turn.

It wasn’t until he was at a yearly company party SM threw in December to not only celebrate Christmas, but all the successful comebacks and promotions each of their artists have done throughout the majority of the year. They may have worked NCT and Jaehyun to the bone this year, and this was just the slightest form of appreciation they had to offer.

Yuta and Mark were joking about the time Jaehyun snuck you into one of SM’s after parties after the Golden Disk awards last year, focusing more on you than his friends and groupmates, never leaving your side or your lips for the matter; prompting him to drunkenly declare his love for you in front of the dozens of other celebrities surrounded in the same room as you all.

Jaehyun was embarrassed when he remembered the next day, but you on the other hand thought it was sweet. Knowing that he didn’t care what his repercussions were at the moment, only wanting to declare his love for you not only to you, but to those he's closest with and who know how hard it is to find love and maintain it in such a hectic and invasive career.

He got so drunk at this year’s party, that he locked himself in one of the building's bathrooms, tears streaming down his face because he knew the alcohol was not enough. It will never be enough. Alll he wants is you.

Taking his phone out of his jacket pocket, he scrolled down to your name, and pressed “Call”. Knowing it was a long shot that you’d answer, considering you don’t have to associate with him if you didn’t want to, along with the fact that it was shortly after 1am, with you probably being fast asleep.

With just two rings in, a soft “Hello” came from his speaker, nothing that you did in fact answer and were awake.

“Hi.” Was all he managed to speak out, soft hiccups emerging from his throat, his cheeks getting hotter by the second as he doesn’t know what he’s going to say to you, let alone what you’re going to say back to him.

“Are you okay Jaehyun? It’s 1am.”

Wiping his tears, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t outright blurt out everything he was thinking and feeling the past few months, not wanting to scare you away from the intense emotions he was feeling as of late.

“I don’t think I am.” He spoke softly, loosening his tie as it was constricting him from breathing properly through his intense tears.

“I miss you, like a lot.” He said between gulps, trying to calm down but his hiccups having other plans for him. “And I know we said this was for the best, but us breaking up has been eating me alive and I can’t stop thinking about you and us and it just really sucks.”

“It’s been two months Jaehyun.” You say, not knowing exactly how to process how he’s feeling. “Why didn’t you call me earlier if everything’s been bothering you so much?”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I wanted to give you space and let you live your life without coming off as some pathetic loser who needs you all the time.”

“Well, you’re not a pathetic loser, Jung Jaehyun. You’re a human being who lives a hectic life, one with feelings who deserves to feel and process and be comforted whenever something’s going on in your life. Don’t ever feel bad about it.”

Processing your voice, Jaehyun couldn’t help feel the comfort and peace that flowed through his body whenever you spoke to him. You always knew what to say, and even when you didn’t, your presence was just as reassuring.

“I miss you too, by the way.”

“You do?” He cries, trying his best to wipe his tears while maintaining his attention on your voice. “I thought if I called and you heard me like this you’d for sure be happy we broke up.”

“Breakups are painful Jaehyun. I can’t even imagine how you feel because I know you don’t have many people to talk about things so it must hurt to bottle things up.”

Which was true. Jaehyun kept your relationship a secret for six months before even letting his managers know, slowly waiting for the company’s okay with your relationship, but not wanting for it to be public. He never wanted to do that to you, hound you with the harassment and chaos that came attached to an idol. It was already bad enough when two idols dated, let alone when one dated a non- celebrity, fans worked even harder to learn everything and anything they could, potentially harming anyone at hand.

Jaehyun first told Johnny when you two started dating, the smirk on his face never once fading whenever the mention of you came up. The rest of the members slowly began to find out, each congratulating him that he finally found someone who made him smile, and wasn’t with him because he was famous. Anyone he attempted dating in the past either wanted him for his fame, or was someone in the industry who wouldn’t shut up about the industry.

Dating you was like a breath of fresh air, because compared to his hectic life, you were just a regular, comforting human being. You worked a part time job at the mall, attended university and were studying to be a social worker, and had a great obsession with baking banana bread.

Whenever Jaehyun was with you, you reminded him of what it’s like to be a normal human being, not an idol stripped of all his talent, time, and energy to make a company even more rich and successful than they already were.

And it wasn’t to say you lived a boring life, but compared to him everything you’ve done and experienced was so mundane. Nothing made Jaehyun happier than when he showed you the tiny details that go on in an idols life, such as where he practises, to where he and the rest of NCT record their songs, even taking you behind the stages of award shows and comeback stages-wanting you to see the full effect and experience up close, rather than on a tv or in a dressing room away from all the magic.

You were the clarity and compassion in Jaehyun’s life and it absolutely shattered him whenever you were unable to be with him when your lives and commitments came first.

When you both decided it was necessary for you to break up, Mark was the first person who found out. Jaehyun entered the dorm quietly, his cap covering his eyes and mask slightly rising up the bridge of his nose, only exposing about a centimetre of his face.

Mark knew better than to ask what was wrong, as past experiences with Jaehyun being angry never ended too well, so he gave him some space. But three days after entering the dorm pissed off and not leaving his room once, Mark took it upon himself to check up on him, only to find him curled up in a ball on his bed sobbing, discovering that you two broke up and clearly he wasn’t taking it well.

It took him about 6 days before he left his bed to finally shower and eat something that wasn’t a granola bar or cereal stashed in his room or brought in by Mark, and 9 days for him to finally tell everyone why he was so distant and upset.

Obviously, everyone was saddened that you wouldn’t be spending time with them anymore, but ultimately were hurting for Jaehyun as well, as they knew you meant a great deal to him, and losing you meant losing all the plans and dreams he had for wanting to marry you one day.

Obviously not in the near future, but in around 5 years, when you were well out of school and had a full time job, and when Nct was well off enough to not be promoting as often as they had their first several years as a group; only ever promoting or touring for a portion of the year, rather than having breaks for a few weeks every few months.

It took all the strength in Jaehyun’s body not to call you every night after you broke up, but clearly that did not work because here he was, unfortunately consumed by alcohol he used to help cope with the pain for the past several weeks, drunk and sobbing to you.

“It’s just been really hard. I know we said it’s for the best but I hate not having you in my life. I miss going for food with you at 2am when you’re stressed about your assignments. I miss giving you long hugs when we go long periods of time without seeing each other and- fuck! I just am so in love and want to be with you the rest of my life and I hate how I let myself become so attached to you and this relationship but I cannot go on knowing there’s a chance you’re going to fall in love with someone one day and I won’t be that man marrying you or being the father of your children or holding you when you’ve had a hard day.”

“Wow, you’re really drunk.” You say, hugging your pillow to your chest because no one has ever uttered such raw, loving words to you before and you cannot help but fight off the urge to cry because you too, want that life for the both of you one day.

“Yeah I know. I’m surprised I said all that right now because I’ve been fighting the urge to call you every night because I wanted to give you space.”

“I want all that with you, Jaehyun. I want us to get married and have three kids and two dogs and I want you to help teach them all how to read and for them to make you play dress up with them and have tea parties and make sand castles. I’m still in love with you and always will be so please don’t be sorry or surprised you’re feeling this way because we both know we deserve to be with each other.”

“I want you so much.”

“Do you want me to come see you? Just so we can talk and I can make sure you’re doing okay?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I get if it feels weird or it’s too late.” He didn’t want to pressure you into doing anything, especially the need to take care of him when he’s drunk and sad and completely in love with you. You’re not his babysitter, nor his girlfriend for the matter- you are not inclined to care for him or even see him because he’s a mess.

But you still want to. Because even though you haven’t spoken in weeks, you know that Jaehyun is the love of his life, and hearing him be so sad and lonely is more than heartbreaking. It’s complete agony.

“Nothing is too late or too weird when it comes to you. I want to hug you and never let you go and tuck you in bed and make sure you’re safe and happy when you go to bed.”

“I’ll meet you back at my dorm if that’s okay? If I’m at this party any longer I’ll go absolutely insane.”

“I’ll see you there, Jaehyun. Please be safe and text me when you leave.”

“Of course, anything for you. And thank you, for even just listening. You’re an angel and I can’t wait to see you in a few minutes.” He chimed, shortly ending the call after he said those last statements to you.

Jaehyun doesn’t know for certain where his future with you stands, but he’s okay with that. He’s seeing you soon, and you just confessed that you’re still in love with him and want a future with him, and that’s all he needs.

His conversation with you managed to clear his mind and body out of the abundance of alcohol that once consumed him, his attention and newfound excitement now focused solely on seeing you, touching you, just being with you. He quickly ordered himself a cab, not even saying goodbye to his members, beyond ecstatic to be within your presence.

And for now, that’s all he could ever ask for.

#nct imagines #nct smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct drabbles #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #jaehyun

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there-must-be-a-lock · 4 years ago

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Not Your Average Love Story (SPN x CM)

Sam Winchester x Spencer Reid

Word Count: ~3490

Warnings: Show-level violence, but that’s about it! It’s bizarrely fluffy.

A/N: My first square for @cmbingo: “meet the parents.” This is essentially a rewrite of Supernatural 12x01, “Keep Calm and Carry On,” except Spencer and Sam are adorable dorky murder boyfriends.

Thanks to @fangirlxwritesx67 for the read-through!

When Spencer realizes he’s in love with Sam, he’s on a plane, hoping to make it to Kansas before the sun goes dark.

He looks out the window at the too-orange light, thinking, this is a weird twist for a love story. He turns that thought over in his mind and realizes: love.

Oh.

It takes him by surprise, for some reason, but only for a second. He’s starting to get used to surprises.

* * *

Spencer has always been self-aware enough to realize that his intellect and his lack of social skills would not make it easy to strike up a traditional relationship. Then, of course, you factor in his obsessive tendencies, his attachment issues, and the stresses of his job, and it’s not actually surprising that he made it past the age of thirty before he fell in love for the first time. Considering how that ended, it’s definitely a surprise — if not a minor miracle — that he’s made it this far with Sam.

Then again, nothing about their relationship has been predictable. Spencer never guessed he’d meet his future partner while dissecting a dessicated brain.

Ever since Spencer Reid met Sam Winchester, his life has been one surprise after another.

* * *

The third unanswered call makes him nervous, but he figures Sam must be asleep, or at least he should be asleep. If Spencer finds himself doing ninety mph in his tiny rental car, it’s mostly because Kansas highways don’t seem to follow the usual laws of physics. They’re flat and endless and eerie in the grey pre-dawn light.

The moment he opens the door, Spencer knows something is wrong. He spares a wishful thought for his Kevlar, and then he draws his gun, falling automatically into the too-familiar stance as he silently descends the stairs.

There’s blood on the floor.

This doesn’t surprise him in the slightest.

* * *

Spencer tends to spend a lot of time visualizing hypothetical problems and their solutions. He’s good at imagining all the potential outcomes of a particular scenario and calculating their likelihoods based on given variables. He frequently does this at night, instead of sleeping.

In other words, he worries a lot.

If he were in a normal relationship he would probably worry about normal things. For example: whether Spencer was misreading the situation, whether it was okay to run a thorough background check on them, and what to wear on a date. What would their first argument be about? What would their parents think of him? What would his mom think of them?

About thirty-six hours after they met, Sam saved Spencer’s mom from a wraith; first impressions don’t get much better than that.

The normal worries were rapidly eclipsed by Sam-specific worries. For example: what if he got cursed, what if he got possessed, and were there angels or demons after him this week. Why couldn’t Dean either drive a little slower or get a car with less antiquated safety features? How would Spencer help if Sam got hurt on the job? Should he tell the B.A.U. what he’s been learning about the supernatural?

He does end up telling them everything; Sam and Dean show up at a crime scene, Hotch almost arrests them, and it turns out that one of the serial killers they’ve been hunting for a decade is actually a skinwalker.

But the point is that when Spencer sees blood on the floor, he isn’t surprised. He’s visualized this scenario — and several hundred variations on it — before.

* * *

He hears a raised voice in the library and takes the steps two at a time. There are two complete strangers there, a blonde woman aiming a gun at a man, and Spencer’s training kicks in before he can figure out why she looks familiar.

“Federal agent, hands in the air,” he barks.

He can see the split-second when the woman thinks about turning her gun on him, but she seems to think better of it, and she sets the gun down slowly before putting her hands in the air.

“Who are you?” the man demands. “What did you do with Sam?”

“What — Sam?” Spencer asks, panic rising in his throat. “Spencer Reid, FBI. Who —”

“You’re Spencer?” he asks, brow furrowed.

Spencer realizes: “You’re Castiel.”

“Whoa, whoa, hey, gun down,” Dean interrupts. “It’s okay! She’s okay, Spence!”

“Dean? You’re alive?” Castiel grabs him before he can say anything else.

Spencer lowers his gun slowly. He’s starting to hyperventilate. He wants to know how Dean is still alive, yes, but he’s watching the way they embrace, the smile on Cas’s face and the way Dean’s shoulders seem to drop like he’s relaxing for the first time in a long time, and all he can think about is —

“Can somebody tell me where the hell Sam is?” Spencer asks, voice cracking embarrassingly.

“He’s not here,” Castiel says.

The woman looks between Cas and Spencer, eyes wide, and it’s not clear who she’s talking to when she asks, “Who are you?”

“He’s my —” Dean starts.

Cas cuts him off by saying, “He’s Sam’s —” at the same time Spencer blurts out, “He’s an angel.”

“Come again?” the woman asks, and when she sees the way Dean shifts nervously, she adds, “Not that, I don’t care about — you said angel?”

“Angel. You know. Wings, harp.”

“Not actually,” Spencer tells her, just as Cas scowls and says, “No, I don’t have a harp.”

“Cas, Spencer,” Dean says, and he pauses, swallowing hard. “This is Mary. Mary Winchester.”

Spencer and Cas speak in unison again, Cas in a gruff monotone as Spencer’s voice goes squeaky: “Your mother?”

Of all the things Spencer has worried about, he never thought he would never have to worry about making a bad first impression on Sam’s parents. Sam’s parents are dead.

Except… apparently not. Apparently Sam’s mom has been resurrected, and Spencer just pulled a gun on her.

“Nice to meet you,” Mary says softly, with a tentative smile.

For a second he freezes, staring at her, and his mind starts racing, recalculating, replanning, getting his worrying done after the fact, and Spencer has no idea what to say. He never made a plan for this.

“Nice to meet you,” he responds, flushing. “Um. Sorry about that.”

“I’d have done the same thing if I were you.” She smiles, and she doesn’t look much like Sam, but the kindness in her eyes is so very familiar. Spencer’s breath catches.

“She’s not kidding, shoulda seen the way she pinned me when I tried to introduce myself,” Dean grumbles. Then he turns to Castiel and says, “Tell me what happened to Sam.”

As Castiel starts to explain the details, Spencer calls Penelope.

“FBI, office of the brilliant but under-caffeinated,” she says, slightly less chirpy than he’s used to, and Spencer realizes how early it is. Oops.

“It’s me.”

“Oh! Boy genius! They did it, huh? Hotch called us back in, like, as soon as the sun came back on, because apparently criminals don’t stop just because the world is ending, or whatever, but he wanted to give you a day at least — hey, are you okay? How’s that handsome lumberjack of yours?”

“Sam’s missing,” Spencer says without preamble. “I need your help.”

It takes Penelope approximately a minute to find the car and identify the driver, but the identity of his passenger is a little more elusive. She types away, keys clattering ceaselessly in the background, as Spencer yawns.

“Got it! Okay, I have a cell number. If you call her, I can track it. You ready?”

“Dean, give me your phone?” Spencer asks, holding out a hand. “You stay on the line with Penelope. She can tell you as soon as she gets the address.”

“I can make the call,” Dean says. “I want to have a word with this bitch.”

“Dean,” Spencer snaps. “First of all, I’m the only person here who’s trained in hostage negotiation. Finding people is literally in my job description.”

“This isn’t a fuckin’ bank holdup, this is my brother,” Dean retorts. “It’s my job to take care of him.”

“If you call her a bitch and start in on your threatening macho bullshit, she’s going to hang up, or worse, she’s going to believe you, and then she’ll be trying to get you before you can get to Sam. I know how to talk to people like this. If I can convince her I’m scared, that I’m not a real threat, she might give something away.”

“But —”

“Secondly, the only people who know you’re alive are in this room right now, which means you’re our best chance to take her by surprise when we get there, so shut up and let me do my job.”

“You really think you can find him,” Dean says, and it’s not a question. He holds out his phone with a look of begrudging respect.

“Yes.”

Spencer thinks, I have to.

* * *

People aren’t all the same, but if you could quantify the concept of normal, if you could look at it statistically, most people would fall within the standard deviation. Most of their lives take an even, predictable shape, Spencer thinks. There are plenty of other people like them, and they seem to fit with each other, too, interlocking in an easy way that Spencer has always envied.

Spencer’s got all these awkward uneven edges and strange angles. He’s not normal, and he’s always known that.

For a long time, he doesn’t think he’ll ever find someone who’ll fit easily, not without changing him, trying to reshape him in some way. He doesn’t want to change, but he gets lonely. Most people (friends, let alone lovers) don’t last long before they get sick of his quirks. Some try longer than others, but one way or another, there’s always some jarring part of him that doesn’t match what they want.

What if they like to sleep with the windows open, even in the winter? Or if they sleep with the air conditioning cranked up in the summer? Spencer knows he should be better about compromising on little things like that, but he really prefers things a certain way. He knows it’s neurotic. He can’t help it.

Spencer is used to people staring blankly when he starts talking, but at what point will it drive someone away? When will they stop pretending to care about his Doctor Who opinions? When will they get bored of his info-dumping?

And then there are the really difficult questions. How does he tell someone he used to be an addict? What if he doesn’t want to tell them about being kidnapped and tortured? What if he does, and then they start asking questions? How does he explain his PTSD, or his nightmares, or his bedtime routine of triple-checking every lock and setting his gun within arm’s reach?

At first, when he met Sam, Spencer worried about arguments and parents and all the other normal things, but more importantly, he worried about himself. He wondered which of his irregularities would finally make Sam give up on his attempts to fit Spencer into his life.

Neither of them sleep much, but when they do end up sharing a bed, Sam has his own routine; while Spencer checks the locks, Sam draws warding symbols, lines each window and door with salt, and sets his gun within reach. He likes the windows closed and the thermostat above 68, because, he explains simply, “Lucifer runs cold.”

Speaking of Lucifer. Sam understands addiction, kidnapping, torture, PTSD, and nightmares, and he doesn’t ask Spencer to tell his stories before he’s ready. Sam has stories of his own.

Sam also has his own Doctor Who opinions, and those opinions were the cause of their very first argument. Sam is wrong, but Spencer loves that he cares enough to argue.

The first time Spencer started rambling about serial killers, he noticed Sam frowning and cut himself off, embarrassed, ready to apologize. Sam just pulled out a journal and asked him to repeat what he’d said, so that Sam could do more research on the subject later.

Sam doesn’t expect him to change. He doesn’t try to re-shape Spencer. His life is just as weird, and by all logic they shouldn’t fit, but they do. And Spencer doesn’t feel any less himself, but suddenly he realizes that he must’ve changed along the way, because he can’t imagine his life without Sam any more; if they can’t find him, his absence is going to tear Spencer apart.

* * *

It’s a tense car ride, to say the least.

Hell of a first impression, Spencer thinks again, glancing at Mary’s pale, worried face in the rearview.

Castiel and Mary are in the backseat, and they’re trying to make small talk, but Castiel seems to be about as good as Spencer at the whole “casual conversation” thing. Sam’s told him so much about Castiel, Spencer feels like he knows him, but they’ve never actually crossed paths before.

And then there’s Dean, who’s got his jaw clenched, staring straight ahead. Spencer gives him directions, and he grunts or nods, but he doesn’t say anything else.

Dean intimidates the hell out of him, but they’ve always gotten along fine, maybe because Spencer’s never yelled at him before. He’s very aware that arguing with Dean Winchester is usually fruitless at best (and deadly at worst), but he’s never been good at holding his tongue when he’s upset.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer manages to mutter eventually.

“Huh?” Dean looks at him, frowning.

“About earlier. I didn’t mean to — um.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Dean says gruffly.

“I was upset. I’m sorry.”

Dean shrugs, and he hesitates before adding, “You were right.” He looks as surprised to be saying it as Spencer is to hear it.

Spencer blinks at him a couple times before hurriedly saying, “Turn left. There.”

Cas and Mary are having a quiet conversation about the weirdness of technology, and Spencer is about to join them when Dean speaks up again.

“Garcia — she said something funny.”

“Uh oh.”

Dean snorts. “Nah, not like that. Before she hung up, she told me not to worry. Said of everybody she knows, Sam probably has the second-best odds of escaping any poor sap who tries to abduct him.”

“Second best?”

“That’s what I said. But apparently that title belongs to you.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it. All I can do is talk myself out, he’s stronger.” Spencer gives him a crooked attempt at a smile; it feels awkward on his face, but he means it when he says, “He’ll be okay.”

* * *

The funny thing is, Spencer has been in this situation before.

When it was Maeve, though, he panicked, because all he could think about was how she must feel: scared, helpless. Spencer has too much empathy sometimes. Imagining Maeve’s helplessness made him feel like he was drowning.

This is different. He’s not exactly zen about the whole situation, of course; it feels like a piece of him is missing, but he’s clear-headed, because he knows that Sam is anything but helpless. He trusts Sam to take care of himself.

Aside from the supernatural element, Sam’s job is astoundingly similar to Spencer’s, and he’s astoundingly good at it. The Winchesters have consulted on a couple cases, now, for the B.A.U. (Spencer’s still not sure how Hotch manages the paperwork) and they try to find cases in the same general area as wherever Spencer winds up, so they’ve gotten to work together a few times. Sam’s sheer competence at his job might be the most attractive thing Spencer has ever seen.

Spencer used to imagine a quiet, mundane romance. He always just assumed he’d find someone whose life was more normal than his, and he was resigned to the stress it would cause in a relationship. He’d forget to call, he’d miss dinner, he’d have to cancel plans and be absent from so much of what constituted a normal domestic life, and his partner would be left at home, alone, all too aware of how much danger Spencer could be in, helpless to do anything about it.

Instead, Spencer found Sam. Spencer never has to feel guilty about missing dinner, because Sam isn’t at home worrying about him. Sam is out there saving the world.

Sam is not going to wait for Spencer to rescue him; he might not even need rescuing, at this point. Instead of worrying about what Sam is doing and whether he’s scared, Spencer can focus on his own plan.

* * *

He and Dean circle slowly around the house. They spot the entrance to the basement, and Dean almost runs right to it, but Spencer grabs his arm and points to the sigils around the door.

Spencer notices movement through a window next to the back door, and when they creep up to get a glimpse inside, he sees two women. One is the blonde — the brains of the operation — and the other is stockier, clearly the muscle.

After a quick conversation in whispers and gestures, Dean sneaks around to the side of the house opposite the basement, and a second later Spencer hears him shout. He waits a couple seconds and glances in the window again, and sure enough, the bigger woman is gone while the blonde is watching something on a computer monitor, looking agitated. Security cameras, maybe.

Spencer is about to go inside when he sees the blonde start, look around, and grab a cattle prod. Then she’s hurrying toward a door, sliding back a heavy deadbolt, and Spencer sees a dark stairwell that must lead to the basement.

He slips through the door and follows her.

For a split-second, the scene in the basement almost stops his heart. Sam is lying on the floor, completely still, his head surrounded by a puddle of blood.

But before Spencer can really process what he’s seeing, let alone react, Sam is in motion: lashing out, grabbing her by the throat, shoving her against the wall. Spencer descends the stairs quietly with his gun at the ready, trying not to make any noise that might distract Sam right now.

Sam doesn’t need his help. There’s blood on his damp clothes and his arms are shaking as the blonde goes limp in his grip, but he’s alive; he doesn’t need Spencer’s help, and Spencer isn’t the slightest bit surprised.

When Sam turns and sees him, he doesn’t look surprised either. He just smiles, all dimples and sparkling eyes in spite of his obvious pain as he limps over.

“Sorry that took me so long,” Spencer says casually, trying to control his grin. He doesn’t want to holster his gun yet, so he keeps it trained on the woman and hugs Sam one-armed.

Sam wraps his arms around Spencer, holding on tight. Spencer rests his forehead on Sam’s shoulder, taking a second to breathe as he feels missing pieces sliding neatly into place.

“Love you,” Sam says, and the words sound like a sigh of relief. He pulls back, and he looks surprised, like he didn’t actually mean to say that out loud.

Spencer’s about to reply when he sees the woman struggling to her feet, reaching for her cattle prod, and so instead he says, “Look out.”

Sam steps sideways to give him a clear shot. Spencer shoots her in the thigh and she screams as she falls to the floor.

“See how you like it,” Sam tells her, with a vicious little smile.

“I love you too,” Spencer blurts out.

For a second they both pause, grinning at each other like idiots, their surroundings forgotten.

Then there’s a sound from overhead, and Sam asks hurriedly, “The other one. Did you take her out already?”

“Dean’s got her,” Spencer tells him. “We should check on him, then we can come back down and deal with — Sam?”

At first he can’t figure out why Sam’s mouth drops open like that, shocked and disbelieving. Then he remembers.

“Dean’s alive?” Sam asks, a smile spreading slowly over his face. Spencer nods, wrapping an arm around Sam’s ribs, supporting him as he limps gingerly toward the stairs. It feels like he’s forgetting something.

There’s another noise, and then Mary is in the doorway, looking down at them.

Oh.

Sam turns to Spencer silently, like he’s waiting for confirmation that she’s real.

Spencer nods. “Yeah. So — um. Surprise?”

Sam doesn’t actually seem all that surprised, because… of course he doesn’t. He blinks at Spencer a couple times and then he grins.

“You met my mom before I did,” Sam says, breathless and amused, and grabs the banister to haul himself up the stairs. Spencer laughs and follows him, smiling to himself.

It’s not your average “meet the parents” scene, but somehow, it fits Sam and Spencer perfectly.

Nothing about their love story has been normal. Why start now?

#cmbingo21 #criminal minds #supernatural #sam winchester x spencer reid #spencer reid fic #sam winchester fic

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shinjaeha · 4 years ago

Text

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

#i told sunset about you #itsay #like there's more angst to come but the real climax of it was in this ep that's how i feel anyway #idk if both of them will get in. i HOPE both of them do.#but i just think that when things get angsty at this point of the story there's always a chance for it to turn around #you just need to worry when things are too happy UNTIL you get to the last ep #tbh though i would like a kiss between them out in the open when teh's finally stopped repressing himself #just so he can show the character growth of his whole arc. so he can be free.#i would obv very much like for them to end up together but there's only one ep left so idk if they can get to that point when there's still #so much that teh has to learn to come to terms with #and he's going to be so so stressed with the exam too (i saw the previews and am bracing myself for more heartbreak as he cries)#i did not mean for this to be as long as it was but i was sporadically writing it as i worked and kept thinking of things to add #and it somehow became an essay #i wrote more in this than i've ever written in any of my uni essays GOD #if you read this whole thing you need some kind of medal or something idk man #also random note but teh's mum's kebaya looks like one that my mum owns #text

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years ago

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Why these ships

Yesterday Admin 1 posted a rather complex post (x), so today we thought we’ll take it a little easier and instead talk about our ships and why we ship the ships we ship. Seems fun, right? This isn’t meant as some kind of detailed analysis of moments or a way to convince others of why these ships are superior somehow, because that’s not something we do around here.

This is simply meant as something lighthearted and for you to get an idea of who types these posts and the POV we have when looking at ship content, as well as what got us into being vminies and namjinists.

Since Admin 1 is a very wordy person, we’ll start with Admin 2. Let’s go!

Admin 2, who ships vmin

My bias is Tae and my bias wrecker is Namjoon. When it comes to Tae, it isn’t about his stunning visuals or whatnot, but more his artistic soul that captivated me. Because of that I feel like I can understand him, just like I can understand Namjoon though I’d never be able to reach such intellectual heights like him.

In my opinion, if there is a romantic couple within BTS, the most likely option would be Jimin and Taehyung. I’m not basing my opinion on any concerts or things like RUN since I’m aware that BTS are idols and places/events/shows such as those are more like theatre in that they are playing a role, playing up certain things to get a reaction out of the crowd and alike, or is being used as a way too push or highlight a certain member or members.

Any time I see Tae and Jimin interact with each other I get this feeling that they have some kind of mystery about them, that they’re like + and -, two very different people, and yet there’s this something about them that brings them together. Perhaps it is simply the sole fact that they are so different that makes them so intriguing not only to each other, but also for me. Observing all the materials we have of these seven years, it’s been interesting to see how they’ve changed both physically and mentally, how they went from being these ‘bad boys’ at the beginning of BTS career and how that transformed over time until they became the boys we know today. I think over the years they simply got the chance to explore and find and be who they are, together but also as separate people. Looking at Tae, he’s changed a lot over the years and I don’t mean it in the sense of “he became quiet”, but rather that his mannerisms and personality changed, that he got to show more of himself and who he wants to be and as who he wants to be seen by others. Same goes for Jimin, who in the first years struggled with being one person until he finally started to evolve into who he wanted to be and simply became Jimin instead of whatever others wanted, which he even praised himself for.

And along with that I also think they got to explore parts of themselves they might’ve not even been quite aware of being there at first, in terms of what they mean for them as individuals but also as two people together. In that regard I think they’ve changed the most out of all the members, and really, in such a way, only they have visibly changed in such a way. They got to explore deep parts of themselves and live them together.

“I’m from the moon, you’re from the stars”, as in they are both different, not from earth, but they got the chance to be different together.

There’s also the fact that they themselves call each other soulmates is for me very intriguing since I understand soulmates as either two people being very similar to each other (the same mentality, interests, tastes etc) or two people who found their romantic other half that, in a sense, completes them. I don’t see vmin as the former, since they are so different, but I think they’ve simply found and worked so hard with together to meet each other on another level which led them to become the second. That’s my theory and my feeling.

I adore how, even though they get so comparatively little screen time together in the last few years, whenever we do see them interact with each other their interactions are always so different, so full of warmth, softness and gentleness, romantic even, and fully of mutual respect. It’s endearing to me how shy Tae seems to get whenever Jimin shows him more affection on camera. I applaud Tae for how he showcases his feelings for Jimin so “openly” on Weverse through the pictures and posts he makes that involve him, though most don’t want to see it as such.

Them saying that it’s enough for them to look at each other and they immediately know what the other is thinking, how they basically almost have conversations with each other just through looking into each others eyes, honestly made my heart sing with cuteness and fondness.

These are my feelings when I see them. When it comes to more substantial reasonings as to why I think they may be real and why I think so, that’s a post for another time since it’ll take much more preparations and thoughts. But at the same time I want to say that I’m one of those people who thinks that if not vmin and not namjin, then none of the ships are real in a romantic sense. In a friendship way, all of them are real. But that too is also something for another post in the future.

The most important thing in it all for me was Tae stating that 95z is love, but that, too, is something for another time.

Admin 1, who ships vmin and namjin

I’d like to preface my part of this by saying that while I do ship vmin and namjin, I’m not the kind of person who will try to find definitive proof that they are real (especially if that means overanalyzing the most minute interactions and split second touches because, to me, that feels obsessive and invasive and not every one second shared glance must mean anything) and proceed to force my opinion onto others, or get into fights why my ships are more valid than someone else’s. That’s not who I am and that’s not the kind of experience I’m looking for while being ARMY. At the end of the day while I do believe that there are good chances (and reasons to believe so) that these ships are real, vmin probably more than namjin, I won’t insist on that having to be true and I also don’t really care all that much either? It’s their private lives after all, so for me this is all mostly for fun and for discussions, if that makes sense. Should one day any member of my ships come forward and say he’s in a relationship with someone outside of my ship, I don’t be angry or disappointed, I’ll be happy for them regardless.

That being said, similar to Admin 2, whenever I see Jimin and Taehyung together, there’s just this special something about them that just does it for me. I’ll admit that when I first got into BTS and became ARMY, I didn’t care about shipping at all. It’s not that I wasn’t familiar with RPS, I’ve read plenty of that as young teen, but rather that I was so enamored with their music and friendships that those simply seemed more important to me. With time I started to pay more attention to the individual dynamics and bonds within the group and soon I realized that Jimin and Taehyung stood out to me without a question or doubt. I’ll admit that I do read fanfic, so out of curiosity I checked out the other maknae ships (the actual ships as well as their fanfic counterparts) and came to the conclusion that they didn’t have that something for me, felt more like brothers, and that I kept on going back to vmin every time.

There’s this sense of belonging (to each other) I feel when I watch Jimin and Taehyung together, how they’ve grown together over the years, their bond going through phases and changes and how they only seemed to get closer and closer, even during the time when people claimed vmin were over and we were in a drought. I look at them, their interactions, the fondness in their eyes and the gentleness with which they treat each other and I think this is it. It’s so easy to see how much they care about each other, and how important they are for each other, I can’t help but love and admire it, and in the end it turned me into a vminie.

As for namjin, this one is a little less clear cut, perhaps. Something that hasn’t been mentioned yet is that I’m a Namjoon bias. He was the one who caught my attention first when I discovered BTS and he’s been my bias ever since, so I enjoyed seeing his interactions with the other members, how he has this mutual respect with them yet how when he says something, everyone else listens because he’s the leader. Plus, his mind is honestly the greatest and most wondrous thing. Anyway. I adore the dynamics that Namjoon has with the other members and how different they are, but the one he shares with Seokjin has caught my attention that little bit more and stood out to me more, just like with vmin.

Namjoon and Seokjin have been close ever since Seokjin joined BigHit, at first simply because they needed to figure out how to get the rest of the group to listen to Namjoon despite him not being the eldest, and then simply because they liked it. I’ll never forget that video they made together around christmas time which ends with Seokjin singing All I Want For Christmas Is You. The date vibe of that video? Off the charts. Over the years as they’ve matured, so did their bond, and while they’re certainly not as clingy and touchy with each other anymore as they used to be after debut, it makes their interactions and little ways of showing affection for each other that much more special.

Their mutual respect, admiration and influence on each other is also something that’s always drawn me to them, how some things Seokjin told Namjoon years ago stuck with him for years and he found ways to incorporate them into his philosophy and ending ments at concerts showing how even these small things affected him, touched him. There’s also things like Namjoon helping Seokjin with his music, the way they praise each other and get shy about it, or tiny details such as Namjoon holding Seokjin’s hand and trying to hide it from the camera behind Namjoon’s thigh (which obviously didn’t work out since we did end up seeing it). It’s these little things about them that do it for me, how when they hug it simply feels so special, so meaningful, the way Namjoon looks so fondly and proudly at Seokjin sometimes and vice versa, and how calm and also absolutely chaotic they are when they’re together. Brilliant.

So, as much as I’m a vminie, I’m certainly also a namjinist.

As for other ships, I’ll call myself a Sope enthusiast since those two together definitely have a certain something about them too. At the end of the day though I love BTS, will always be OT7 and their true family type bond, as they have called it themselves as such many of times, will always stand above all else for me.

#vmin #namjin #jimin #taehyung #namjoon #seokjin #bangtan sonyeondan #BTS #why we ship who we ship

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btssmutficslovingfan01 · 4 years ago

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Friendly Encounters- Chapter Three

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: A friend challenges you to go out of your comfort zone and talk to one of the cute boys at the café. However, after attempting to flirt with one of them, they reveal that they are in a relationship with each other. It’s fine, though, because you’re all friends now!

𝒢𝑒��𝓇𝑒: Romance

𝑅𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔: Fluff

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Mentions of sex, language, mature themes, mostly safe but not suitable for young audiences below the age of 16, and binge eating if you are easily triggered by that.

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 5.8k+

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jimin x Yoongi x Reader

Masterlist

⇤Prev | Next⇥

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“My boyfriend actually called me his wife today.” “Oh yeah, well mine already proposed to me, that’s right, five years since we've started dating!”

“Oh, Lyric, you’re lucky. My boyfriend only ever invited me to his family’s tree trimming party and we got blessings from all of his great-aunts, uncles, and other relatives. His parents even call me their future daughter.” You roll your eyes at how unrelenting these girls are. They won’t even stop talking about boys for one second and you’ve been at this sleepover for five hours. It’s supposed to be the last sleepover of the decade as seniors, for everyone since you and this tiny group started planning in the seventh grade. Just because you’re all girls doesn’t mean boys are the only thing you have to talk about! It’s not an obligation. This isn’t a disney movie where the prince is going to marry the princess at the end, it’s real life and everyone is too fucking clingy to realize it.

“Can we not talk about boys tonight?” You finally ask out loud, earning a gasp from everyone in the vicinity, including Bae, who happens to be a lesbian. Even she was enjoying the boy talk.

“Why? That’s literally what sleepovers are about.” Your other friend, Joy points out. You sigh in frustration, falling back on the carpeted floor while hugging your soft ladybug plushie.

“Looks like someone’s having a bit of drama, we heard from Jessica. Now, tell mama River what’s really going on.” You take in a deep breath before slowly explaining your situation with the boys.

“And these boys are a gay couple?” Bae asks in a questioning tone.

“They are! But...after a certain encounter, I’m not really sure what to think. They’re older, and in love with each other, but I feel like I’m just intruding at times, you know?” Another girl that goes by the name of “Temoshika-san,” which is her japanese name nods in agreement, holding out a tray of foods for you to snack on.

“Eat. I binge whenever I’m stressed.” She says after you take a tiny bag of doritos.

“Hon..I’m gonna say something but I don’t think you’re going to like it.” Your most sensible friend, Toriel (oh yes I named her after an undertale character) says after a long moment of silence.

“Shoot. I’ve already made plans with them for next week to see a concert so there’s nothing that can surprise me now.” You bite your lips. It’s been an entire month since that day when Yoongi demanded you to lick ice cream off his boyfriend’s cheek and things escalated from there.

You didn’t have sex, but it was a close call. Your heart almost ran away from you. Yet, they don’t bring it up, so it’s safe to assume that they felt nothing from that encounter.

Maybe Jimin didn’t anyways. Or maybe he was feeling just as horny as you! Who knows? No guy has ever looked at you that way before, so you wouldn’t even know.

“I think that both of these boys might be catching feelings for you. But they’ve probably never had feelings for a girl before, so they don’t know how to go about it.” Her theory makes sense. Suddenly, all of the pieces click in your mind.

“You’re a genius, Toriel!” You give her a hug before whipping out your phone to text Jimin. Right on cue, you get a text! But you’re surprised to see that it's not from Jimin.

“Damn, that's some cold shit right there. I didn’t know what you did to piss him off so much.” Bae chuckles at your misery as you put your phone away.

“Wanna spill the details?” A girl by the name of Cleo asks. You roll your eyes.

“It was just Yoongi. He said he and Jimin wanted to talk to me. As if things haven’t been awkward enough.” You feel like you’re walking on eggshells with the two, as you’ve stopped hugging Jimin for longer than 10 seconds.

And you’ve stopped your musical obsessions with Yoongi as well, keeping the fangirling to a bare minimum. You just want everything to go back to normal, so you can continue onto your adult life without holding on so much to the past. And they aren’t the only things bothering you, but Jungkook has been desperately trying to fix your relationship.

Jasmine won’t so much as breathe in your direction, as she doesn’t need you anymore. She has everything. The popular clique, a hot boyfriend, and perfect grades. She isn’t bothering you at all, but you are tempted to scream in her face about keeping her boy toy in control. He keeps wandering out of her lane and onto yours. Which you think you can use to your advantage.

It’s not like you’re going to sleep with him or anything, you just think it’s the perfect opportunity to take back what was rightfully yours. And in this case, Jungkook is the perfect trophy. You don’t like objectifying people, but at this point you don’t even care if he used your name to impress a couple of underclassmen, you feel honored, actually, but you don’t actually care about him. He kissed you too, while he was dating her. That’s a sign that things aren’t looking too good for them.

Who are you kidding?! You should let them go. As if you have the balls to actually sneak around Jasmine’s back and snatch her boyfriend from her.

“Girl, just talk to them. I advise you to tell them as soon as possible what type of feelings you may or may not have for them. It’s gonna be okay.” Toriel pats your back as you recover from the growing anxiousness in your gut. Something tells you, everything is not going to be okay.

“Moving onto our next sleepover activity….horror stories!”

༻• The Next Day, At Your House •༺

You sneak into your home early in the morning, around 7 or 8, to be exact, hoping that Jimin and Yoongi were away at work. Your mom is already gone, as she texted you that she would be going on a business trip this particular week. The slumber party kept you awake all night, and the girls had really scary stories to share so you weren’t exactly calm...even now you are on edge as Jimin frightens you from behind.

“Hi.” You jump back, startled because of how quiet and swiftly he came up from behind you.

“H-hey. I thought I was home alone.” He gives you a sweet smile, the same comforting grin you saw that day in the cafe after you almost embarrassed yourself while asking for his number. Those were the good times, when you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. A friendship with anyone of the opposite sex is complicated, after all. You convinced yourself of this since Yoongi and Jimin are 100% gay and show no signs of any lust or extra thirst after you but you still had awkward tension. Hell, even now after Jimin walked up from behind you like that, you still have a strange feeling in your gut.

“You thought wrong! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about

how you almost peed your pants after I gave you a scare.” The mood is mellow, and you’re both comfortable around each other. Maybe Yoongi was the problem. But you don’t want to upset Jimin, as he’s your best friend at the moment and he’s been for you a lot more than anyone has been in the last decade.

“So, what’d I miss?” You ask, leaning in to give your best friend a hug. You inhale his strawberry-fresh scent, a little bit in awe as you’ve never gotten a waft of a nice-smelling boy. Jimin is an angel, a perfect exception. You hope you can find a man who’s as caring and attentive as he is, in the future.

“Yoongi and I have been thinking a lot about you recently, mainly how you opened up to the two of us about your life and leaned on us so easily, really it was crazy how you trusted us so easily when you barely knew either one of us,” You laugh sheepishly, mentally scolding yourself for being so childish in the first place. “But it was so admirable. And we thought, we could do the same for you. So you can learn more about the kind of people we are. We don’t like looking back on the past, but there are some parts that we just can’t leave behind. Like for example, our two exes,” At first, you think little of this. ‘He must mean the people that he and Yoongi dated before they found each other.’ That was your first thought. Just like he’s reading your mind, he answers your question, “We’re open to polyamory.” Your mouth drops to an “o” shape, and then you rack your brain for the correct answers.

You got nothing. You have no clue what the fuck a polyamory is.

“What’s that?” He chuckles at your innocence just as his boyfriend comes down the stairs.

“Hey, Yoongz, wanna explain what polyamory is to our good friend here?” You look up at the older man with curious eyes. You want to know.

“Multiple people in a relationship. Basically, Jimin and I used to invite over two other guys and we used to go on dates and do other stuff but it was really chill, nothing too serious.” You gawk as the two lean into each other for a kiss and then Jimin crawls into Yoongi’s lap before turning his head to stare at you. Two pairs of eyes are just on you, and you feel so vulnerable with all the attention on you.

“Anyways, I wanted to mainly apologize for what happened that night with the ice cream. You looked like you were enjoying yourself, and I thought I was too, until I realized I was gay. I just needed a reminder, I guess. So I thank you,” You don’t know whether you should laugh or cry, Yoongi’s expression was hard to read.

“Hyung...why do you gotta do her like that?” Jimin’s words throw you off guard. “You know what, instead of beating around the bush, I’ll just tell you: I’m bi, Yoongi was pan when I met him.” He rolls his eyes at the boy.

“Wait, didn’t you say you came out to your parents?” You ask curiously.

“I did. As gay, but then I ended up having a one night stand with a woman and after that I realized I liked both.” You take in the information very well, not letting it affect you one bit. “You know what, I’ll let you two figure out your shit…” You give Jimin a panicked look before turning to Yoongi with a fake smile plastered on your face.

“I don’t care what your sexuality is,” Your statement throws him off guard as his eyes widen quickly. “I just know what I felt was real. There was a weird connection, a moment where I wanted to kiss you.” He coughs before spreading his legs on the couch and putting his hands in his lap. You’re not gonna lie, he looks hot.

“Then why didn’t you?” You let out a small giggle before realizing that he’s completely serious.

“Because you and Jimin are dating...and I don’t like cheating.” He crosses his arms, this time scooting in closer to you.

“But we were both there, and the vibes were all right.” You feel a slight pressure on your inner thigh when you realize that Yoongi is touching you. His hands are wandering up your thigh in broad daylight. You luckily have a blanket covering you, but the look of fear on your face is a dead giveaway.

“It’s because you wimped out.”

“You should’ve just done it anyways. I probably would’ve kissed you back.” He starts kneading your thigh, giving you an almost-massage, and just as you’re about to let out a moan, Jimin comes back, holding a bowl of popcorn and setting it down on the coffee table.

“Surprise movie night...er day.” He sits next to you, oblivious to what his boyfriend is doing. You glare at Yoongi when you feel his fingers pulling your leggings down and they wander into your panties. You’re damp. Completely soaked because of this stupid man that you’re attracted to and the fact that you basically just confessed to him. He smirks when he sees your eyes roll back in your head when he reaches your g-spot, thrusting his fingers in and out of you at a fast pace. You cling to him, pretending that you’re simply cuddling him as Jimin’s eyes stay trained on the screen, but you fail horribly at keeping things discreet when you moan into his ears. The movie blasts at a loud volume, so the speakers drain out your groans as Yoongi drives you to an orgasm.

“Come for me, babe. Don’t want Jiminie to see, is that right?” Yoongi knows the boy would probably just join in if he actually noticed. He still manages to upset you, as with all your might, you try not to scream from pleasure.

“Yoongi, I’m gonna come.” You bury your face in his shoulder, letting out the softest but sexiest moan he’s ever heard, as his fingers twist inside of you and you climax right then and there. He leans in and finally, you get a taste of his sweet lips.

“Let’s continue this later?” He whispers to you, winking at Jimin as you sink into his arms, panting heavily and recovering from your intense orgasm. And yes, the boy knows what his boyfriend was doing under the blanket the entire time.

After the movie, you quickly run upstairs to take a shower. You didn’t expect to get fingered on your couch. You didn’t think Yoongi would actually kiss you. And you certainly didn’t think things were going to return to normal ever again. They already had girls. How many did they date in the past? Obviously having a third partner didn’t work out for either of them so what difference would it make if you were part of the equation? You step out of the shower to find Jimin in your bedroom, playing games on his phone as he waits for you. You clench your towel, a light blush dusting your cheeks as you step into your bedroom, closing the door.

“Hey! I wanted to see what you might be wearing to the concert, have you picked out an outfit?” You walk past him, motioning him to come to your closet as your finger picks and chooses the cute dress you found at the mall.

“This one.” You can see his eyes lighting up at the thought of you wearing that dress, but then his gaze darkens when he imagines you out of it. Speaking of...there was only a thin towel wrapped around your body, even then it wasn’t enough to stop his imagination. You have nice boobs, can you blame the poor guy?!

“Nice choice. I’ll just uh...step out so you can get dressed.” Also known as code red: he has a boner. You quickly throw on some shorts and a sweatshirt, as you don’t dress modestly at home. You check yourself in the mirror, making sure it’s not too much in case the boys feel uneasy.

Today’s a slow day. You finish up your homework before making your way to the kitchen for an evening snack. It’s only 5:00, yet you’re starving. What you see next surprises you, as Yoongi is on the counter while Jimin kisses him breathlessly. How do people kiss so long without breaking for air? As you observe, Jimin breaks the kiss, smiling at you as his boyfriend turns to look at you as well.

“Come here, darling.” Your feet are jello as you stumble to the two, trying to ignore the way Yoongi’s bulge is sticking straight up as Jimin’s hands are on either side of him.

“Wh-what?” You blush, unable to help yourself as the blue haired god in front of you looks so good. “I like your hair.” You whisper quietly.

“Thanks, although I’ve had this hairstyle for a while,” He removes his arms from his boyfriend, putting his attention on you. “Now, you’ve been a dirty girl, fooling around with my boyfriend when I’m not looking, is that right?” You swear if you weren’t holding onto the counter you would’ve fainted.

“What? Cat got your tongue? You have quite a mouth on you when my fingers are buried in your pussy but you can’t say a word when my boyfriend asks you a perfectly valid question?” You’re shocked, frozen, freezing.

“Answer me, sweetie. Did you like it when he fingered you earlier?” You blush and nod, evading his gaze. “Look at me when I talk to you, Y/N.” When he says your name you look up, your eyes meeting his as you do. Five seconds barely pass when he smashes his lips against yours, in a desperate manner. Yoongi’s just watching, patiently waiting for you to break the kiss so he can continue the conversation.

“Y/N, we need to be honest with you. We’ve...taken a liking to you.” You don’t know how to process this information. But Jimin’s look of pleading is enough. They both want you.

“So please, will you consider joining our relationship?” You purse your lips. Every fibre of your body is screaming yes, but your mind is telling you to be reasonable, and think through this. You don’t need this right now in your life. You’ll hold them back, they’ll hurt you later, this is setting yourself up for failure.

Yet you want it so bad.

“Can I think about it? Please?” You don’t want to reject them right away.

“Of course. Take your time.” Jimin takes Yoongi’s hand before leading him to the couch. You hope they won’t ask you before the concert.

༻• At the Concert •༺

You couldn’t believe your eyes. The men brought you to a freaking J-hope concert. Not just anyone but the J-hope. He’s the most popular solo act on the planet. After he broke up with his boy band BTB, he went all crazy and started rapping about sex, and fame, and real life issues. Everyone loves him.

Including your two friends who dated him back before he was famous.

Yeah, they have a history together.

“You like it so far?” Jimin asks, leaning in while cracking open a can of pepsi.

“Are you kidding? You got premium seats to see the J-hope?” He gives you a cheeky grin before turning to Yoongi and conversing with him. You can’t seem to take your eyes off the two of them, even if you are at a J-hope concert. You feel lucky enough to be breathing the same air as him, but it’s thanks to the couple sitting beside you. Not to mention...they even dated him at some point.

“This last song goes out to two dear exes of mine…” You thought you imagined it, but he seemed to look up at your row, as if he was staring straight at Yoonmin.

“Last summer when you told me you weren’t feeling well, I thought it was just a little bump in the road, But now I know, It was all because of her, Ohhh my love, How I loved you way back then, But I was too blind to see, You really didn’t care at all,”

You don’t know how to react. Should you clap? Or laugh, or cry? It sounds like whoever he’s singing about cheated on him...with a girl.

“Now I don't care, it's all choices by my fate, so we're here, Look ahead, The way is shinin’, Keep Going Now,”

The song suddenly gets more upbeat and then the crowd goes crazy as he has an outfit change with a snap. Also, this man is glowing. The lights are perfectly bouncing off his slightly tanned skin, making him appear more heavenly. God, how did they live through this?

“That’s My Ego!” He sings the chorus cheerfully before finishing off and then fireworks light up the night sky, making some audience members cry. Jimin and Yoongi are both staring at you, though, as you watch with wonder. You look so innocent, and you’re so small...the two of them are already whipped for you, can’t you see that? Oh wait, you do.

“Is there something on my face?” You ask them, and they simply smile at you. As if that wasn’t heart-melting enough.

“Nothing. Let’s go backstage.” You blush as they both take either of your hands, leading you out of the crowded stadium so that you can visit J-Hope backstage. You were about to meet a celebrity, while being held by two guys that confessed their feelings to you just a few hours ago! As if things couldn’t get any better.

“J-HOOOOOPE!!!” Yoongi grins, throwing his arms around the celebrity as he walks into the room.

“Hey Suga. OH JEMIN!” Jimin and J-Hope share a handshake before hugging as well, and then he turns to you.

“Who is this beauty?” He turns to look at you, kissing your palm softly in greeting.

“Y/N.” You answer him, trying to conceal your uwus.

“Wow. You’re even more perfect than how they described you. You know, I’ve never seen them like someone more than they like you.” He whispers into your ears. You’re a little bit distracted by the fact that an IDOL is whispering in your ears right now. His breath smells so good. His sweat smells expensive, though.

“Y-you really think?” You ask.

“I know so.”

“Okay, if you’re done hitting on our friend, how about you tell us what you’ve been up to?” J-Hope holds up a finger, revealing the engagement ring to all of you.

“Who…?” J-Hope blushes before turning to his mirror.

“Remember that one producer? The girl who was older than me by 10 years or something?” Everyone nods, except you, who has no idea what’s going on.

“Turns out she was my soulmate all along. She proposed to me, and we’re getting married next month.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” You clap for him as the two men beside you look at you with love in their eyes.

“I’m so excited. She’s just a bucket of sunshine. Oh shoot, I’m almost late for the wine tasting. Bye guys.” We wave as the celebrity packs up his things for the day. “So, it looks like you guys lowered your standards for me.” “Oh, stop, he wasn’t even well-known when we met. And now, we’ve all moved on. The three of us are together and that’s what matters.” Yoongi cuts you off before you even start. When you get home, you’re less than amused that your mother is getting ready for the stupid marriage meeting in her room. She ushers you to change, greeting the boys but whisking you away from them just as quickly. You wave goodbye to them, in a dreary mood. “Remember to behave, poise and manners, Y/N. You want to look like a good wife.” “I don’t want to get married. I’m only 18, ma.” She brushes your hair, looking at you with teary eyes. “Your dad wants you to. And he gets what he wants. No matter what.” You sob the entire car ride, your father didn’t even bother coming home as the purpose of this stupid meeting was to make himself look good. You look up to see that the boy before you is an overgrown specimen of child. Not even a man, but just a buff baby. “Hi, how old are you?” You ask politely. The boy lowers his eyes. You already know where this is going even though you’ve barely said a few words. “15, you have nice tits.” You’re in shock, uncomfortable, lonely, and worst of all, your mom won’t even look at you. Your dad presents you like a trophy and then forces you to tell the other parents about your academic achievements before forcing you to sit down. You want to cry. But you don’t. Instead, you call Jimin. “Hey, what’s up? Is the dinner going well?” Your voice starts breaking before you even talk, making you suck in deep breaths before looking out the bathroom window. “No, Jimin. I can’t stay here. They’re gonna force me to marry a 15 year old that just said my boobs look nice. I have to get away, do you guys think you can get me away from my parents? I’m 18, so they can’t legally do anything about it.” You hear him talking to someone in the background, presumably Yoongi.

“It’s me, Jimin just told me...I’m so sorry. All of that is awful, but is running away really going to solve anything? I know things seem bad now, but wait until your mom knows about us, I’m sure she’ll be accepting.” Yoongi sounds confident in himself, so you don’t feel like putting him down.

“Her, maybe. But not my dad. He’ll disown me.”

“Y/N, you are no object. They can’t just marry you off to anyone. And if they do, we’ll make sure it doesn’t happen. You should be allowed the choice of marrying someone you love.” You frown, seeing the tears falling out of your eyes.

“I’ll go out with you.”

═══ 🅣🅘🅜🅔🅢🅚🅘🅟 ═══

Your first date is at the cafe where it all started. The boys make sure to take time off at the same time so your schedules match up. It’s not the most conventional date, as the three of you start discussing where you’ll move in together after you run away from home.

Your dad hasn’t even spoken more than a couple sentences to you. Wow, so caring. You have no reason to stay with them anymore, as he literally forces you to go to stupid dinner parties and sets you up with boys that are too young for you. Even a 12 year old, like what the fuck?

“How was dinner last night?” Jimin asks. You roll your eyes.

“Horrible, as always. These boys are nightmares. I feel bad for their future partners.” You comment.

“Who cares? It’s just dinner. And you’re dating us now. Talk to us, babe.” You like being called “babe.” Especially when Yoongi says it, because he’s just so closed off to everyone else.

“Do you like it when he calls you baby? Because I’m pretty sure he likes it too.” Jimin giggles. Being with your best friend is really no different, except now you can kiss and hug and show affection romantically. He’s just a lot more cuddly with you. And Yoongi doesn’t mind it one bit.

He actually sometimes joins in, hugging you and Jimin lovingly. He’s so protective of you two. You love it.

And they’ve started picking you up after school, to take you out so you can be away from your house for a bit. But at the end of the day, you can always count on crawling into bed with them and dreaming your troubles away. You’ve been sleeping better with them cuddling right next to you.

Sneaking into bed with them has become a habit of yours, and you especially don’t make it clear around your dad that you have feelings for them. Although, lately everything has been striking a nerve. He often calls you to awkward dinner parties and you can’t do anything about it.

Even your boyfriends agree that it’s a bit too much. So much, that one day, Jimin decides to suggest something crazy.

“Let’s make your dad think that you’re ruined.” This catches yours and Yoongi’s attention.

“What? What the hell are you going on about, Jimin?” Uh-oh, when Yoongi uses that tone and says his name like that, you know someone’s in trouble.

“I’m saying that we make her dad think she lost her virginity.” You cross your arms, gasping as Yoongi shields your face with his arms protectively.

“What are you saying? That’s absurd. Her father is already strict as is with us living here, everytime he sees us he crinkles his nose even more. We repulse him, Jimin. What makes you think that we aren’t gonna tick him off even more?” Yoongi makes a good point. Your father was very strict, and homophobic. Perfect traditional 1800s father of the year.

“He’s here because he wants to see his little girl get engaged, right? Well, what if she brought the engagement to him? Have him walk in on one of us sharing a moment with her and then having her dad say she has to marry us?!” You’re baffled. You didn’t think your boyfriend was that dense.

“Idiot, he would probably disown her. And also, no. Maybe not marriage, he might just throw her out of the house altogether.” While you’re busy planning, what you fail to recognize is that your father leaves town again. He’s flying away, and you had no knowledge of it until your mother called you and you saw his packed suitcases as he hugged you goodbye. Looks like the meetings have come to an end.

“Jimin!!! Yoongi!!!! Come downstairs, I need to talk to you two about something.” My mother calls out to them.

“What?” Yoongi is the first to make his way down the stairs, avoiding eye contact with you.

“I’ve noticed the way you two have been interacting with my daughter as of late. The deep stares of longing everytime we sit on the couch and watch t.v together, the smiles of adoration that you only have reserved for special people, heck, even once I saw you holding her hands like she would disappear if you let go,” You can hear the nervous gulps come from the two men as they stare directly at your mom. This can’t be good. “You both have crushes on her, right?” Their eyes widen.

“What? No, I’m dating Yoongi-Boongi. My heart belongs to him and only him.” Jimin says a bit too quickly, making your mom raise her eyebrow in question.

“Your daughter is very pretty, I’ll give you that much, but I’m dating Jimin.” She clicks her tongue, not fully believing them.

“I know what it looks like when boys have a crush on a girl, seeing the way you act around her. So how about you tell me the truth straight to my face?” Jimin is the first to break under her intense stare.

“Fine, you caught me. I like her, okay?!” He says, blushing a brilliant shade of pink. When your mother sees that Yoongi’s expression is indifferent, she narrows her eyes at him.

“You know, don’t you?” He doesn’t say a word, instead taking your arm and pulling you beside him.

“Ma’am, I would like to get your permission to be your daughter’s boyfriend….along with Jiminie.” Considering you were secretly dating for weeks, now seems like the perfect time to ask. Go Yoongi!

“Yes, of course you can date her. You both are so caring and kind and I can’t imagine anyone more fit for the job….even though I didn’t expect two guys. It may be a little strange but I trust that you know your boundaries.” They nod, each of them hugging you tightly and giggling like children.

“We’ll make sure to treat our girlfriend with kindness and respect.” With Yoongi’s gummy smile, your heart melts. You really, really like him.

“You better, or else you’ve got another thing coming.” Your mother’s gaze is threatening enough, as the two men stiffen their backs and stand up straight.

“Loosen up, she’s just kidding. Right, ma?” She nods, laughing happily as she sees her ships coming to life before her eyes. She’s always wanted her daughter to be happy, instead of subjecting her to a life of unhappy arranged marriage. She wants to give her everything she didn’t have as a child.

“Yup. But seriously, break her heart and you’re dead.”

“Moooom.”

That night your mom leaves for work. She didn’t tell you, but you really noticed when you called out for her and she didn’t answer back, only leaving a text on her phone that she would be late. You knew this meant you were home alone with your extremely attractive boyfriends again for the second time this month.

You’re excited, but nervous. The last time the three of you were in the house like this, they made out in front of you and then made you extremely horny. Now, you could only imagine what would happen with the three of you in an actual relationship.

“Y/N, come watch netflix with us!” Jimin calls you to his room, and your eyes widen. You’ve been in their room before, but never totally alone. Your mom or dad would be in the house, but now you’re stuck with these two.

“What are we watching?” You penguin-walk to Yoongi, who hoists you up onto the giant bed. Immediately you fall back from the weight of his knees forming a little disbalance on the mattress. It’s just a tiny ditch.

“I thought you were gonna fall, be careful.” He lightly scolds you, before sitting back and getting cozy with Jimin as you stay in the middle, right between them.

“You guys are so warm.” You inhale their scents, taking in their musk and surprisingly sweet cologne. The strawberry scent must be coming from Jimin. The axe must be from Yoongi. Either way, you’re comfortable.

“No, you are.” Jimin pulls you in between his legs, peppering kisses all over your neck. Normally, you’d be turned on in the situation, but it’s completely innocent. You giggle as he tickles you with his faded blue hair and then you both get lost in each other’s eyes. You love his crescent shaped eyes, how he is a perfect mix of masculine and feminine, breaking all traditional roles of what it means to be a man in the modern world of 2020. If anything, his soft features are what makes him more “manly.” There’s no correct answer. He’s perfect the way he is, and you love the way his lips form a tiny pout, even when he’s happy.

“Just kiss already.” You both look over at Yoongi, who is more concerned with the movie playing on the screen than his two partners sharing a moment right next to him. You give Jimin a look as he leans in and finally closes the gap between you two.

#yoongi x jimin x reader #yoongi x jimin #barista #yoonmin #Poly #yoonmin x reader #hyunglinenetwork #btssmut #Smut #coffee shop #cute #btsff #yoongi #jimin #bts #yoongi x reader #jimin x reader

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hankwritten · 4 years ago

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Lies, Damned Lies, and Valentine’s

Day 7 of the valentine’s day event, Whole Team

“Have the RED team vandalized us in the middle of the night?” Medic asked, gazing around the common room which had been papered with tiny hearts. “What is with all the pink?”

“Ach, it’s Valentine’s day, boyo!” Demo told him with a hearty slap on the back. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

Medic adjusted his glasses, which had fallen out of place with the overzealous display of masculine affection. “My wife and I are…estranged. I have not celebrated a Valentine’s day in a very long time.”

“Well, so long as you made your cards, you’re celebrating just fine.” When Medic didn’t respond, Demo pressed a, “you did make some cards, right lad?”

“Cards for who? I told you I have not spoken to-”

“For the team ya quack,” Demo snorted. “We always make cards for each other on Valentine’s day.”

“…Like kindergarteners,” Medic asked drily.

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud doc,” Demo elbowed him. “It’s a tradition.”

Medic crossed his arms, and kicked a small paper heart that had fallen on his shoe. “Well no one told me about it.”

At that, Demo finally paused. “Ah, I suppose everyone forgot to mention it to the rookie. Don’t worry though!” This time, Medic dodged the pat aimed at his shoulder. “Everyone knows you only got here a month or so ago, they won’t hold you to any obligations.”

“What a relief.” Medic rolled his eyes.

He was able to put the ridiculous conversation out of his mind thanks to the oncoming battle, slinging on his pack with a feeling of purpose. Dealing with REDs and avoiding Spies took most of his concentration, as a day that he went about distracted was a day he’d find quite a few Sniper shots through his head. However, as much as he’d dismissed Valentine’s by the midday break that afternoon, it appeared his teammates hadn’t.

He’d followed Heavy to the cover of the sentry nest, but as his partner was filling up Sasha, he noticed that Engie had laid out a few pieces of folded paper on top of the dispenser. Medic wandered closer. It took him a moment to parse what he was seeing, but then he remembered the travesty that had become of the common room and realized Demo had been dead serious about Valentine’s Day. Engineer’s valentines were spread out neatly, all unique, all cheerfully signed by members of the team. Scout had draw a rather good rendition of the man himself standing next to his sentry, a little heart between them. Sniper had written ‘THANKS TRUCKIE’ in block letters. Even Soldier had put in some effort, as he had used red, white, and blue construction paper to make what might have been the shape of Texas if you squinted enough.

Nearby, Pyro was showing off their own collection. Scout had also drawn a picture for them (of Mayor Balloonicorn), which they had delicately set in the grass, their other cards out before them. The one from Engie they were attacking with vigor, since the Engineer had been forward thinking enough to glue tiny pieces of candy to the folded paper.

“They’re all real nice Pyro,” he was chuckling. “Though maybe put them back in your pocket? Don’t want them to get dirty.”

Pyro nodded, and began shuffling them back into a pouch within their chemsuit.

“They take this very seriously, don’t they?” Medic noted absently about the pair.

Heavy, having loaded on the ammo required, turned and saw Medic mulling over Engineer’s cards. “Oh, da! Every year. We do not spend holidays together, so for team, is closest thing.”

As he spoke, he reached into his front pocket. Something with Demo’s handwriting dashed all over it appeared in his hand, obnoxiously saccharine with its copious hearts and overuse of the color red. Yet the Heavy Weapons Guy displayed it proudly, and Medic offered him a wry smile.

“I had no idea,” Medic mused.

“…Team forget to tell you?” Heavy rumbled. “Heavy see. Heavy wondered why doctor did not give him one.”

Medic coughed lightly into his hand. “I wasn’t aware until this morning-”

“No, is alright. Heavy’s little joke.” He patted Medic on the shoulder, which was (surprisingly) more reserved than Demo’s attempt at the same. “We kill RED babies, that is gift enough, da?”

Medic agreed, and followed him off into battle. However, this time the threat of the loving spirit stuck, and Medic found himself skewered on the end of the Spy’s knife more than he was comfortable with. He tried to shake himself, to forget his teammates’ foolish obsession, but one thought kept rankling him: he might have not known to send out cards, but why hadn’t anyone gotten him anything?

They returned to BLU base with an embarrassing loss on their collars, though you wouldn’t know by looking. Everyone was in the common showing of their haul, passing around heart shaped cookies that someone had made last night and stuffed in the fridge. Medic tried one, and nearly gagged on how much sugar had been crammed into such a small package.

Apparently everyone had gotten the same memo about Demo’s cards, as each one came with a tiny novel vodka attached. Demo peeled off the last one (from Soldier with a picture of a shovel on it, saying simply I Dig You) with the utmost care, lining them up next to his whiskey bottle.

“Look!” he grinned to Soldier. “Me scrumpy’s birthed a litter!”

Soldier, who had taken to taping his own cards to his helmet, slapped him on the back. “Congratulations! You’re a grandfather!”

Scout, like Pyro, couldn’t help but flaunt his, claiming that he got the most out of anyone. When Sniper pointed out that everyone got seven cards, he pivoted to say, “yeah well mine are the best, quality over quantity Snipes.”

Medic shouldn’t have been irritated. He didn’t care about Valentine’s Day, not in the slightest, so why was he getting so terse about his teammates’ holiday cheer? Of course they didn’t get cards for the rookie, they probably would have gotten cards for their old Medic, not him.

That thought itself would have put anyone in a sour mood, but the tipping point was when he walked the corner and saw Spy delicately arranged bits of red-hued paper into a manila folder, smiling slightly as he set the last one down. Medic was close enough to read, saw Sniper’s handwriting, and also that the poem it was quoting was incomplete. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. / I love thee to the depth and breadth and height. The next two lines were missing— Medic knew enough of poetry to glean that—which meant Sniper probably had the other half. All shuffled always with the other ones he’d gotten from Scout and Engie and Demo and whoever, but the most important thing Medic could determine from the display was all those people had given Spy valentines too. Spy. Medic’s eye twitched. Before he knew it he was barreling past Spy, out past the others in order to get to the hallway. There were a couple exclamations of confusion, a few calls asking what was wrong, but Medic ignored them all.

He didn’t need their obligatory attempts to include him, he could see when he wasn’t wanted.

“Doctor! Wait!”

He considered not stopping for the deep voice behind him, but unless he wanted to go charging off onto the battlefield, his path would eventually take him back around base. He sighed, and turned to face the man behind him.

“Can I help you?” Medic snapped. There was no use pretending he wasn’t miffed.

“What is the matter?” Heavy asked. “Have not seen you this angry before.”

“Well that is not a big surprise considering we barely know each other, apparently.” Medic crossed his arms.

Heavy furrowed his brow. Always a man of few words, he either didn’t know what to say, or figured it was better not to antagonize Medic further, and so he settled for waiting for his teammate to elaborate.

Medic relented eventually, shoulders sagging as he exhaled. “I realize I am not…part of the team so to speak. I understand I am not as close to you all as your old Medic was, and I do not blame you for not including me, but it is still…difficult to watch everyone open cards and…not receive any myself.” God it sounded so childish when he said it allowed. He was a doctor for god’s sake! He should be above such petty jealousies.

As his self consciousness closed in, he hunched, and failed to look at Heavy. It took the man saying, “doctor did not get valentines? Is not possible,” for Medic to turn back around and see him shaking his head. “At very least, Heavy give card.”

“You…?” Medic unfolded his arms. “When?”

Heavy raised an eyebrow. “Did doctor not check locker?” When Medic blinked, Heavy added, “is where we put at start of day, so none get lost.”

“…Just like in kindergarten,” Medic finished the thought and pinched the bridge of his nose. “God I am such a dummkopf.”

Heavy chuckled, clearly glad to have resolved the situation. “Medic is far from. Come, we look now.”

So Medic did come, entering resupply and walking to his locker, taking a moment to brace himself as he grasped the handle. He turned it. Immediately, he was hit with an avalanche of purple, pink, and red, an absolute tidal wave of valentines rushing out to greet him from where they’d been conglomerating inside his locker like a clogged artery.

There were so many, decorated all with his class symbol or words of thanks. Pyro had made at least four, decorated with crayons and rainbow drawings, sticking slightly where the paint hadn’t dried. Medic picked one off the floor. Scout had drawn Archimedes beautifully, which was astounding considering the two hadn’t gotten along since the Über incident, and it must have been quite a strain to sit still long enough to capture the bird’s likeness. Engie had detailed out a list over every time Medic had saved his bacon in the past month, Spy had written something long and oddly heartfelt, Soldier had gifted him a coupon for one free haircut. The list went on.

It took Heavy gently touching his shoulder while he read Sniper’s uncharacteristically kind letter to realize he was holding his hand over his mouth. He cleared his throat, but despite that still couldn’t find words.

“Medic is part of team,” Heavy stated, matter of fact. “We appreciate. Do not forget that.”

Medic’s eyes fell on a large card, tucked behind the Quick-Fix in the back of the locker so it hadn’t come tumbling out with the rest. This one was unquestionably from Heavy. Medic wasn’t sure how he knew, but he did.

Delicately, he reached out and took it, seeing it was nearly the size of a proper book, made out of two pieces of paper tied with a string. He gently gazed over the words inside, drinking them all in, and then softly spoke, “thank you mein friend.”

“Is no trouble.” Heavy squeezed his shoulder, and Medic could tell his friend was smiling by the chuckle in his voice. “Now! We go. Back to party, doctor should get to show off his cards too.”

“Yes, lets. But ah…not this one though,” Medic finished, softly folding Heavy’s card back up. “This one I will keep here.”

Heavy smiled. “If doctor likes.” With that, Medic followed him back to the party.

#dontneedavalentine2021 #heavymedic

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wardens-stew · 4 years ago

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The Mask Falling Hints MASTERPOST

Clearly I have wayyy too much time on my hands!

I have compiled a list of information Samantha Shannon has divulged on social media about The Mask Falling, mostly paraphrased from her Tumblr and Twitter. Some of it dates back as far as 2016, so it’s not certain that all of it will happen - I’ve included an asterisk for the tidbits in which Samantha explicitly mentioned that it was pre-editing. I didn’t include a link to the original source because that would be too much work, but if anyone has questions I can probably find it pretty easily! The recent ARC reviews also include some hints, but I haven’t included them because that would be a crap-ton of text. Feel free to add anything I missed! Anyway enjoy the fruits of my obsession!

Hints:

We will find out how badly Warden was affected by Paige’s torture - there’s a lot about the effects of her torture in the book

The non-binary character is a free-world spy, pretending to be French

Paige has issues with drinking water and showering

Paige will make another valiant effort to get Warden to talk about his feelings

Paige’s demisexuality is clarified - she reflects on the way she wants in comparison to the way the allosexual Nick and Eliza do

Paige gets slammed into the wall by someone, but not Terebell (also not Warden, because then she would be very dead)

The grey market storyline continues

Etymological connection of Arcturus meaning bear-guard and Mahoney meaning descendant of the bear is worked into the books

Paige cries

Paige’s PTSD is a thread throughout the book

Paige has mental and physical difficulties following her torture

“The scope of everything gets bigger, there's more focus on the free world and how it interacts with Scion, and you'll find out more about Rephaite history and the origin of clairvoyance.”

You may figure out what happened to Procyon

Warden’s aura type is mentioned*

Paige starts calling Warden Arcturus. They have a discussion about it. But she keeps calling him Warden in front of other people.

The prologue begins about an hour after The Song Rising

Warden asks Paige to teach him Irish

Contains clues as to the big secret at the heart of the series

Warden does a few very sweet things

We’ll find out a reason why Nashira considers Warden a possession rather than a partner*

Paige is at her most fragile

One of the characters eats an orange

There is a distinct Priory parallel in one section of the story

Paige asks Warden if Rephaim can get drunk

We will find out if Rephaim can get physically ill

We’ll get a piece of information that may help us understand the Rephaite logic behind Warden feeding on Paige’s aura

More about the golden cord

Paige’s feelings with her father will be explored

We will find out why it was common knowledge amongst Rephaim that Terebell and Warden were once mated

Warden might tell us what would happen if he tried to eat

More about voyant-amaurotic sex will be explained

We will learn more about the Rephaim’s internal politics and conflicts

We get to see Paige’s birthday

We we’ll find out how Warden knows how to develop Paige’s gift*

Paige and Warden butt heads over right and wrong

We’ll find out why Warden said that Sargas are the only Rephs who choose their mates

We’ll find out more about the half-urge

We’ll find out more about the complicated history between Warden and Terebell

Warden is planning to learn Gaelic (pre-editing)

We’ll find out two of the reasons why Warden hates Nashira so much*

We’ll find out about the promise Warden made to Nashira that she alludes to before the Bicentary

Warden says something with an exclamation mark

Warden will tell us more about the memory of Terebell, and how it was a prelude to one of the defining moments of his existence

Paige visits Warden’s dreamscape a few times, but we only see it once

Paige addresses the author directly

Nick isn’t in the book at all

The plot takes place only in Paris

Paige dies her hair red

A character Samantha did not originally plan to be in TBS4 now is

There’s a big scene in the Sainte-Chapellle in Paris

The book is shaping up to be the darkest book in the series, but also contains the most jokes

Paige feels really ill for most of the book

Samantha starts hinting at the Grand Backstory of the series

Paige is under strict orders to stay inside for a month, but she breaks the rules to explore Paris

The main antagonist was born in “the burning summer of 2019”

We’ll find out about two of Warden’s past relationships

Paige and Warden have to get food deliveries from a guy called Albéric because they’re not allowed to go outside

There’s espionage

Warden uses the super unnecessary word “sennight”

A lot of the book takes place underground

We learn if a non-polyglot could ever learn Gloss

There is a Very Awkward Conversation*

There is a time skip between the fourth and fifth books

Warden smiles a lot… with his eyes

The ending will change everything

Scion must change its public face due to an event that happens at the end

People who liked The Mime Order will love it

TBS4 picks up when Paige is resting.

It will go into more detail about how Rephaim emerge

It marks the beginning of Beautiful Dresses in The Bone Season

It introduces a Rephaite character Samantha absolutely loves, with her favorite Rephaite name

There’s a scene Samantha has wanted to write for years

The ending is very dark

There’s a cute priory reference

There’s a character Samantha loves - “she’s so cool that I don’t know how a nerd like me invented her”

“The relationship between Warden and Paige gets deeper and more complicated in this one, and you get to know Warden a little better.”

“[Paige and Warden] are together a lot in this book, as they’re sharing a safe house in Paris. It’s the first time they’ve spent a significant amount of time with one another since they escaped Sheol I. You’ll actually glimpse the ways they both react to being stuck inside in The Mask Falling, as they’re meant to stay hidden in a safe house for a month so Paige can start to recover from her ordeal.”

“It’s a love song to Paris in the way The Mime Order was a love song to London.”

“[Paige and Warden do have some happy calm moments.] Although there’s a lot of action in the book, there’s also quite a lot of downtime. Paige is still recovering from her ordeal in the Archon, so she can’t always be out in the world kicking ass. She’s resting as well, trying to get her strength back.”

“I won’t lie, The Mask Falling is a book to fear . . . but there are some nice bits. Including some coffee-drinking.”

“[Paige and Warden] do so much in this book. So much.”

“Most of the characters who didn’t go to Paris are absent from TBS4.”

“Paige and Warden do so much in this book, I just couldn’t cram any other storylines in. However, several old friends do turn up in it, as well as a bunch of new characters I hope you’ll love as much as I do.”

“Paige [experiences the messiest-most-intense emotion in TBS4]. She goes through the emotional wringer in this one.”

“The second ‘arc’ has the same main characters and the same antagonist. The difference has more to do with the setting, the scope of the narrative, and the type of battle being fought against Scion. You’ll have a better idea of what I mean when you read the end of TBS4.”

“This book puts both [Paige and Warden] through the emotional wringer, but there are lighter parts as well.” “Nick meets an old friend while he’s in Sweden and Paige and Warden will be staying in central Paris, on Rue Gît-le-Cœur. You can see some of the locations from Book 4 here: [x]”

“TBS4 is basically just a long Hurt/Comfort piece with occasional and reluctant splashes of Action/Adventure”

“THE MASK FALLING leans a little more Adult than the other BONE SEASON books. The whole series is officially classified as Adult, but the first three aren't far off YA in terms of sexual content, violence etc. THE MASK FALLING is . . . maybe a tiny bit sexier.”

“Doing my final reread of THE MASK FALLING and naturally I've noticed a recurring phrase that I have used no less than thirty times in the manuscript.”

“It blows the world of The Bone Season right open. It’s where everything changes. It takes place in a brand-new setting and forms the bridge between the two ‘arcs’ of the series. I hope the ending will show readers get why I really do need seven instalments to tell this story.”

“Books 1-4 is what I call the “Scion arc”, but Scion is still a threat in Books 5-7. Book 4 is kind of in the middle, with more of a focus on Rephaim than there currently is in Book 3.”

“He’s in Book 4, he’s French, he’s voyant, and I’m writing his introduction scene now. I think I love him?”

“The draft is about 140 000 words long – a little shorter than The Mime Order – with a veritable tonne of action, espionage, international politics, eerie catacombs, old enemies, new friends, and messy, intense emotions packed into that word count.”

“This one combines my favourite elements of The Bone Season (Warden and Paige chats), The Mime Order (syndicate weirdness) and The Song Rising (heists and angst)”

“The fourth Bone Season book is well underway, and things are about to take a very dark turn for Paige.”

“It’s mostly focused on Paris, but you’ll find out bits and pieces about what’s happening in both England and Europe.”

“She’s suffering from PTSD and aquaphobia following her water torture in The Song Rising, so she’s pretty much in the ringer for the whole book. There are a few light moments, but she’s under a lot of stress from the start.”

“While I wouldn't call it spy fiction, TBS4 is delving into espionage territory as Warden and Paige, still exhausted from their tremendous efforts against Scion in The Song Rising, attempt to navigate the convoluted political and criminal networks of Scion Paris.”

“Book 4 is a touch more political, laced with subterfuge”

Lists:

Things you’ll see:

The carrières of Paris

A masquerade (ofc)

A mysterious character you haven’t seen in a long while

Arcturus Mesarthim saying ‘hm’ about 18 times

Five words:

Revelations

Politics

Water

Heartache

War

Three adjectives:

Macabre

Emotional

Seismic

There is a lot of:

Warden and Paige

Rain

Classy interior decor

Angst

New characters include:

A spy so fashionable and icy cool I’m unsure of how a nerd like me created her

A tall, irritable Frenchman with a bit of a God complex

A terrifying new Rephaite with an uncomfortably sexy voice

It has:

A Parisian underworld

A demisexual MC

A masquerade ball

Catacombs

Forbidden, angst-stricken desire

Verbal consent

Acknowledgement of periods

I can promise:

Parisian buildings TOURISTS LOVE. Notre-Dame? It's there, there's a masquerade INSIDE IT. Sainte-Chapelle? Oui. Versailles? Naturally. The Eiffel Tower? Oh, we're climbing it

Getting DOWN and DIRTY. (By which I mean literally, down, into the catacombs.)

People who arrive in Paris SPEAKING FRENCH because they have been given a job for which they have the correct SKILLSET *bangs table*

No crêpes (#OhCrepe), but CHAUSSONS AUX POMMES

ROOFTOP PICNIC

Not everyone is STRAIGHT

Chic OUTFITS, all quite filthy by the end

Locations:

The beautiful Sainte-Chapelle, my favourite place on Earth.

Rue Gît-le-Cœur, a major location in the book and previously home to the Beat Hotel.

The famous doorway in the Paris Catacombs. The inscription translates to 'Stop! This is the Empire of Death.'

Rue Montmartre, where we may or may not encounter an old face.

Preview in gifs:

Originally posted by cinemagraphs

Originally posted by queeniegoldtsein

Originally posted by cumlelerinruhu

Snippets:

Out-of-context chapter title: Chapter 3: Gloomy Coffee

Part names*:

1. To Pay Thee Free

2. Turn the Anchor

3. Eurydice

Quotes:

“What the fuck is that?” she whispered to me. “Looks like a frozen rainbow.”

“The horizon was as red as if the fire still burned. I watched the sunrise from the roof. Fog breathed into every nook and alcove of Paris, laced over the dark crests of the river, blanched the skin to the pink of salmon. I was sure the air was still spiced with the tang of smoke.”

“So,” he said, “we are choosing larceny.” “Always so surprised when his criminal friend commits crimes.”

“I wouldn’t usually care who you’re riding at any given time”

“I sensed all of this was very important, but I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about”

“I picked up the floundering ribbons of my dignity and started over”

“His home was in decay, and mine lay in the shadow of the anchor. Scion had made wanderers of us.”

Current opening line (circa Dec 18, 2018): “The sun had been climbing over the cliffs when our ship had pared away from Dover.”

“Someone who had heard of me and whose first response had not been to try to kill me. What a treat.”

“A hollow ache stretched out within me. It started in the chambers of my heart, in a place that reached eternally for Ireland.”

“‘I promised you we would stay together,’ he said. ‘In the absence of other options, I will follow your lead on this matter.’”

“‘I’m fine.’ ‘Your attempt to mask the darkness under your eyes serves as compelling evidence of that. As does the full bowl of coffee.’ I cocked my head. ‘Did you just master sarcasm?’ ‘Paige.’ ‘It’s a cup of coffee. With… no handle.’”

“‘There’s no fireplace,’ I stated. ‘No.’ ‘But how are you-‘ A wild laugh was bubbling up. ‘How are you going to cope without one?’ ‘Cope,’ Warden repeated. ‘You need one. To stare into, pensively. Did you know,’ I said to him, ‘that you do that a lot?’ He tilted his head, which only set off a fit of silent laughter. My ribs ached in protest.”

‘I mustered all the breath I had left and screamed, until I folded on myself and my voice burned to nothing.’

‘Who can break you now, Black Moth, now there is nothing left to break?’

#the mask falling #the bone season #masterpost #hints

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the-order-of-fools · 4 years ago

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The knights' treasured keepsakes? Specter Knight has his locket and Propeller his rose but what about the other knights? Also, I just remembered reading something in the comments section on Treasure Knight's wiki page where it mentioned a dev (I think Sean Velasco??) saying TrK used to have a wife and I thought you'd find that interesting.

This was such a fun idea to work on. We made Treasure’s ex wife a buff, sea dragon corsair. King Knight happens to be quite the materialist. His Majesty proves himself to be superior to others once again as he not only has one personal keepsake, but two; the first being his iconic crown. His loving and supportive mom once bought him a platinum crown (platinum wasn't considered a valuable metal, so it used to be quite cheap) which he painted with a gold layer and decorated himself. He's incredibly proud of his work. During his early days adventuring (in search of kingdom to rightfully conquer, despite the fact that he was quite literally in a kingdom already), he had amassed enough jewels and gold to improve not only his crown, but also afford a hefty gold armor (though - he could only afford a gold finish and not a suit made entirely out of gold - and you do not want to show up to a duel in what is practically a flashy cardboard box). The second keepsake is his cape, as his mom has lovingly sown it for him. Even if he occasionally denies it, he's attached to his mom's gifts. It's as simple as that

Specter Knight has his dear locket. Gifted to him by his late friend Luan, Specter finds himself heartbroken whenever his mind wanders to it. What he now realizes was practically an engagement ring, was a testament of the bond shared between them, a bond forged through years of thievery. If only he could have realized his feelings for Luan were more than platonic... Bitterness fills his heart when he recalls the showdown at the Tower of Fate, how he had forsaken his only chance at humanity in exchange for Reize's freedom. He does no regret it one bit, even if a frighteningly selfish part of him wishes he had just accepted his reward without a fuss. For a moment, the memory of the locket doesn't stab into his dead heart. Perhaps he could take it out of its chest again? Just for a moment, to remember the last gift Luan bestowed upon him

Mole Knight has always been a being of simple tastes. He's happy with what he has, he's happy with who he is. Still, he knows that he could never have the life he has if it wasn't for his beloved armor. Yes, the armor he possessed is his keepsake. It's resistant enough to face the high temperatures of a lava-filled mine, and it allows him to perform all of his tasks easily. He found it one lucky day when he was still a shapeless mass of sentient magic, seeping into the very soil the mine workers always dug through. The armor he found seemed to bear the appearance of a giant mole - maybe the legacy of an ancient civilization of giant moles? Still, he had no problem claiming it as his. He has never thought about changing it, he feels comfortable in it - you could say that it has become his permanent house. Plus, it gives him the appearance from which his name is taken, Mole Knight wouldn't be Mole Knight without his armor

Plague Knight has his reasons to keep a giant grimoire close to his heart. His birth was... complicated, he gained his sentience artificially, and whoever created him left this strange book before he disappeared. It's a little bigger than Plague himself, but he can use it just fine (as long as his Plague minions put enough work into holding the giant thing). The tome contains a variety of alchemical formulas, old legends and spells. They were all written by hand - and Plague has taken the liberty to add his own formulas, the most notable one detailing the process of creating a human-shaped body out of magic. Sadly, certain pages have been ripped out at some point. He has managed to find a few of them hidden throughout the Explodatorium, but most seem to have vanished

Tinker Knight is the most practical out of the entire Order. He must have at least one thing he particularly cares about. Every engineer, no matter how old and skilled, must have started from scraps and faulty attempts - our tiny Knight is no different. Back when he was still an amateur, his head was already buzzing with ideas that he promptly scribbled down as blueprints. Only one of these projects was put into practice in order to create a little basic robot with no function other than moving around and emitting monotone beeping sounds. It wasn't the result Tinker Knight had hoped for, but it was a starting point and he was still proud of it. To this day, he keeps his first blueprints and the -now old and unusable- little robot. He has challenged himself to renew the blueprints and bring them to life thanks to the skills he has acquired. Once the Order will fully establish its power and he’ll find some spare time for himself, he may take up those old scraps once again

Treasure Knight is greedy. A greedy underwater pirate who is obsessed with gold. If one were to guess his most beloved keepsake, they would turn their gaze to his treasure vault. Despite this educated guess, there's something more to him. He may seem shallow on the outside, but he treads deep waters. Inside his vault, away from the most desired riches, lays a small chest. Inside of that chest sits a silver ring with a pearl head. At first glance, it seems awfully suspicious. Why leave a single ring in a chest all to itself? Does it hold great power? Can it lead you to an even greater treasure trove? No. It's a memento. A memento of someone he can only come to describe as his past wife. During their first meeting, she decked him. Hard. How they had gotten along after that is unknown to him, but at some point, they simultaneously accepted the fact that they were a couple, and with it, he gifted her a ring resembling her pearly dragon scales. However, sea captains aren't bound to stay together. His choice of pursuing riches was clear, and forcing her morality onto him wasn't ideal. She gave it back right before she left - the same ring locked in that little chest. He doesn't regret it, or so he tells himself

Polar Knight is awfully difficult to read. The mysterious aura that envelops him might appear as apathy and hardness of heart, which seems to drive away the majority of adventurers. As you may guess, this titanic Knight does not have a keepsake. Or at least, one that he could define as a possession of his. If you pay attention, you'll see how deeply he seems to care for life. The loyal Spinwolves that never leave his side, a poor black tortoise that he took care of when its master was nowhere to be found. The icy wastelands around the Stranded Ship claim many lives, but not as many as it used to, back when Polar Knight didn't preside the lands that were rightfully entrusted to him by the Enchantress. He took care of them, nursing them to health until they were able to leave the Stranded Ship again. His keepsake might not belong to him directly, but it's one that gives him immense satisfaction - and a sense of redemption from the terrible duty he has decided to honor

Propeller Knight is a stud. Some may come to ask themselves: has anyone conquered this gentleman's heart? Yes, you thirsty motherfuckers, but not in the way you may expect. Propeller was a bit of a wild card during his younger years (to be fair, he remains as flighty as ever), and during that period, he had been through many on and off relationships, mostly due to his tendency to court others, single or married. Though, one of them was different. The bouts of love were nothing compared to the flame burning bright within his heart. There was only one problem: his newfound lover was very ill. Propeller wasn't one to quit. For perhaps the first time in his life, he had truly felt love and affection for someone, and he cared for them until their very last breath, holding the very final present he had given them, a brilliant rose. He had arranged for them to be buried quietly, and planted roses at their grave. He took the last rose that they've ever held and found a fellow who enchanted it for him. His lover has faded into the realm of the dead, but the rose will forever remain intact. He placed it in a chest for safekeeping, and left. Members of his crew, as ordered, continue to keep a watchful eye over it

Black Knight might have an infamous reputation, but we all know that he's the romantic type deep inside. His romantic vein might be a little twisted, just like his sense of justice, but this doesn't mean that he's uncaring. He happens to have two keepsakes instead, one of them being his mighty steed. Black Knight raised Terrorpin with all the care and patience he could muster (something you wouldn't expect from him) as the creature mistook him for its mom when its egg hatched unexpectedly, right as the Knight was passing by. How lucky, if it wasn't for the fact that Black Knight wasn’t (and still isn't) quite the perfect parent, that little tortoise would have been no more. He tried his best, though. His second keepsake is his beloved Shovel Blade, which was forged by the same blacksmith who created Shovel Knight and Shield Knight's weapons. He wanted to wield the same weapon as his rival. He must have had his reasons. He, too, is a very practical person, so it's no mystery that he prefers weapons over useless trinkets

-Mod Tinker and ~Mod Propeller

#shovel knight #treasure knight #Specter Knight #king knight #Tinker Knight #mole knight #plague knight #polar knight #propeller knight #black knight

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papeldetornasolcosmico · 4 years ago

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MR. BUNGLE : The Raging Wrath Of The Easter Bunny Demo Trevor Dunn Interview - translated from french by Luis Misiara.

Q: So, the idea of rerecording the demo came from you...

A: Yes, the idea is entirely mine. This horrible idea! (laughter)

Q: For how long have you been thinking of this?

A: Oh, yeah, after a I met Dave Lombardo when he joined Fantomas. Honestly, it's like these songs were written with him in mind. We were listening to Slayer and this kind of music all the time back then. Re-recording it with him made a lot of sense to me.

Q: So, you then asked Mike Patton and Trey Spruance if they agreed?

A: Yeah, and they did!

Q: And then Dave.

A: That's right. Then we figured that a second guitarist would be a good idea. We had many guitarists in mind, but Mike and Dave both knew Scott. And it's crazy, because when we asked him if he was interesting, he didn't understand what we wanted, he thought we were inviting him to a Mr. Bungle concert! (Laughs) "No, we're asking you if you want to be part of the band!" And then we found out he's a total fan, which surprised me! He was ready to do it for free and he knew the songs in our first demo, I mean... He's an incredible rhythm guitarist, incredibly precise. Anyway, he's one of the original musicians of the genre, part of an elite of "thrash professors" like Dave. This is why we wanted them. His way of playing rhythm parts is different compared to Trey's, and on the album you hear one of them on the left and the other on the right, with little differences in terms of rhythm and tone, and these differences provide a lot to the album in my opinion.

Q: Did Dave know the demo as well?

A: No, I don't think so, but he was into the idea as well. We spoke for a while, and then one day he called Trey and asked him to redo the demos of the songs and to send him so he could learn them and surprise Mike and me.

Q: The album is truly excellent. I had only listened to the demo, which was only available in mp3 and with a sound quality that was far from ideal in order to assimilate this kind of music... But I re-listened to it after becoming familiar with the songs in their re-recorded versions, and I must say that everything was already there: great riffs, structures, you didn't change a lot in that sense. I was impressed that, for 16 year-olds, you could write thrashcore songs, some lasting up to 8 minutes, that didn't seem like a pile of riffs, not anybody can do that...

A: (Laughs) Thanks! I don't know what to say to that, or how to explain it... I always liked these songs and, over the years, I felt like bringing justice to them, playing and recording them as they deserved to be. At the time, we were a bit crazy, we really dived deep into the 80s metal wave, we absorbed every riff of every group we listened to, we studied this music, we analyzed the details and we tried to do something that would belong to us, something personal. But Trhash is just an example, you can do that with any kind of music. Even orchestral music, for instance, you just need to learn it, master it. You just need to want to and to have a desire of seizing a musical genre and then do anything you want. Also, if I wanted to write 80s thrash metal right now, it would be totally different, because these songs were written with the information and tools that were available to us at the time.

Q: Exactly: you lived in Eureka, a small Californian town. Was it easy for you to acquire all the thrash, crossover or hardcore records you wanted?

A: Not really, but there were two good record stores, and actually Mike amnaged to work in the bigger one. We read many magazines like Kerrang and fanzines like Maximum Rock and Roll and were abreast of all the new releases. If any album wasn't sent to the store automatically, Mike would order them. We were the first to do it! He would bring the records to my house, we would open them, tape them, bring them back to the magazine and wrap them back. (Laughs) That played a large role on the construction of our musical culture.

Q: Before Mr. Bungle, you only ever played with Gemini, right?

A: Right after I started playing bass, the next month, I joined two groups, one of them being Gemini. There were five members -- two guitar players, a drummer, a singer and me. Since the singer left right around the time I met Mike, I invited him to replace the guy. I didn't even know if he could sing or not, all I knew is that he loved music (Laughs). That was enough for me!

Q: Was it just a covers group?

A: No, I had started writing songs, but mostly rock. At the time, hardcore and thrash music hadn't arrived at Eureka yet. It was a bit like AC/DC, or even a mix between ZZ-Top and Rush!

Q: On Youtube, one can find videos of you playing covers of Judas Priest, Kiss, Iron Maiden...

A: There you go. That was recorded a bit later, with Mike singing.

Q: How was life in Eureka at the time? When Dave asked him to record demos for the songs so he could learn them, Trey was right there, and he said playing these riffs 33 years later, "in the same goddamn town, in the same goddamn house" had an interesting effect on him!

A: (Laughs) I wouldn't say it's a goddamned town, but it's truly a special place, and it always was. Unfortunately, it's a very poor city, very labor-based, living out of forestry and fishing, two sectors that have seen better days. Now, there are many homeless people there, and intense meth dealing activity... Eureka laways had many strange characters because it's quite isolated, and it would welcome people running away from big cities or from their own past. But it's also great, the nature is wonderful, the landscapes, the forests. My mother still lives there, and as such I'm often going back there, and the same applies to Trey, which is why he was there recently, recording new demos to send out to Dave.

Q: Were there many bands at the time?

A: There was always a music scene, especially a punk scene, before we started out, and also a jazz scene, but these scenes were very small and comprised very few musicians. When we started out, there wasn't any metal or thrash band, that was a new genre for Eureka. The "metal scene" was solely made up of people we went to school with, perhaps one or two college students, but what I mean is that verybody knew each other.

Q: When did you meet Trey?

A: At high school, one or two years after I met Mike. I met Trey in my music theory class. We had many tastes in common, we were hungry for different musical genres and we wanted to study music. We then started rehearsing together with a drummer with whom Trey played.

Q: Mr. Bungle is a perfect name for the kind of music you started playing later on, but quite unusual for the thrash/thrashcore band you were at the start. [That name has] nothing to do with Corrosion of Conformity, Nuclear Assault, Anthrax or Slayer...

A: (Laughs) That's for sure... Once again, it was my idea... I was completely obsessed by Pee-Wee Herman and his show at HBO at the time, it was well before Pee-Wee's Playhouse, his show for children. I was mad about that show, I would record the audio of it and listen to it repeatedly. I'm sure that, if I watched it know, I would know the scripts by heart. During the show, he would play old educational shorts with Mr. Bungle teaching good manners and hygiene to children. To use the name Mr. Bungle while playing trhash was a way to show that we didn't belong to any scene, to any one genre. It was an absolutely non-metal name.

Q: The title of the demo also, as well as the song titles, displays a very "non-metal" humor.

A: There you go, precisely. At first, we wanted to call ourselves "Summer Breeze", like the Seals & Crofts song, which we ended up playing live. There was no way we would choose a "metal" name. Why should we? Music speaks for itself. I think more bands should think like that and do away with clichés.

Q: I guess you didn't play the songs in Raging Wrath (...) live very often back then?

A: No, for the first couple of years we didn't play many shows, we played a few on occasion. There weren't many places for us to play at, and they were very tiny. Nobody would book us, we had to organize our own concerts. But after we released our first two albums, when Mr. Bungle became a touring band, we played one or two of these songs. Nobody knew them, but we always thought they were good, so...

Q: What happened between your first demo and Bowel of Chiley (1987), the second one? Within a year, you evolved in such a way that it doesn't even seem like the same group...

A: Yes, we always evolved, even when the first demo was recorded, we were always trying to evolve. Mike Trey and I always listened to all kinds of music, classical, pop, jazz, and even in the first demo there are a couple of non-metal tracks. We always sought new ways to express ourselves. "Going forward and never repeating ourselves" was always our motto. Whenever we did something, we would move to the next right after. Therefore, ok, we recorded our 80s thrash album, there's no way we'll make another. If we ever release another album, I couldn't even tell you how it would sound like, I don't know. All I can say is that it would be different.

Q: In fact, the second part of "Hypocrites" and "Evil Satan", in spite of its extremely metal title, are not thrash, but rather ska in the case of the former and funk rock in the latter. You didn't re-record these tracks. They announced your more "fusionining" demos...

A: Yes, "Evil Satan" didn't fit with the rest. We had a couple of ideas on how to transform it, but in the end we didn't keep it. It's always like that with us: at each recording session for one of our albums, there are songs that seem to be a bit "out of character" with the rest and we do away with them. We either put them to the side to be used later on, or abandon them for good. Also, this song was always a bit of a joke. For us, it didn't fit the album.

Q: You guys have a stash of unreleased Mr. Bungle songs...

A: Yes. For instance, in our third demo released in 1989, OU818, you've got "Mr. Nice Guy", which was never properly released in an album. I think there's also two songs from the California sessions. They didn't survive past the mixing stage, we knew they wouldn't be part of the album and didn't want to waste the time or energy working on them anymore. It's possible that we may one day decide to finish them and release them... I don't know, we've never discussed this. But yes, there are a few unreleased Mr. Bungle songs.

Q: Talking about songs that were unreleased until now: when were "Eracist", "Glutton for Punishment" and "Methematics" made?

A: "Methematics" was written in the 80s, at the time we made the first demo, as well as "Glutton for Punishment". "Eracist", on the other hand, had never been finished, it was in the "pile of riffs" stage. The riffs are from that time, but the arrangements are recent. We never played those songs live at the time and they were only ever recorded in Cassette tapes. But we thought they matched the album perfectly, unlike "Evil Satan" or the second half of "Hypocrites", which we didn't re-record, since they were more like jokes or parodies.

Q: One of the riffs in "Methematics" was later used in "Love is a Fist", one of your classic songs present in OU818 and in the first album.

A: Yes, that's true! That's also typical of our way of working. If a riff in a song that was left off an album pleases us, we recycle it, that's what happened in this case. But I didn't even remember it anymore, it was when we decided to re-record this song that I realized, re-listening to it, "oh yeah, the fucking riff is from there!"... But we decided to leave it in, since the song was built around that riff. Furthermore, honestly, the two riffs aren't exactly the same, there's a different note!

Q: (Laughs)

A: We changed the ending of the riff in "Love is a Fist", I don't know why, but this time we have the original riff. Thus, it's not EXACTLY the same riff. (Laughs)

Q: I suppose that the song being titled "Methematics" refers to what you told me just now about the meth being sold in Eureka...

A: Yes. Originally, the song was entitled "Mathematics". I mean, that was just a working title, I never thought the final title would be that. I wrote this song, but I never had any idea for a vocal line and barely wrote any words for it. I asked Mike to do it. Mike, Trey and I then started to talk about what this song should be about. We then realized it would be a good idea to include some Eureka "folklore". In fact, the lyrics are full of references nobody could understand, mentioning people that attended high school with us, our teachers, things that happened to us at the time. For instance, there's this verse: "stab a dog, climb a tree, just to pass geometry". It's a reference to a guy that stabbed a dog and then hid it in a tree to escape the police -- and he was then arrested, of course. This is the type of news story that made an impact on us. There wasn't meth in Eureka when we were in high school, but it's sort of an acerbic homage. (Laughs). I did write the lyrics for "Glutton for Punishment" at the time, however.

Q: So the lyrics in "Methematics" are recent, but did you change the lyrics in the other songs, the ones originally present in the demo?

A: No, we left them as they were. Not entirely, in fact, because we couldn't remember some of the parts. Even when re-listening to the original demo, Mike couldn't understand what he was singing at certain points, so some words and sentences were changed.

Q: Along with the unreleased tracks, you recorded a few covers, notably "(Fuck the) USA", by The Exploited, which isn't in the album, but that was released on the Internet. Your version is entitled "USA" only, was that an attempt to avoid censorship in social media?

A: No, no, the official songtitle is "USA".

Q: In the Exploited albums where it's released, it's either titled "(Fuck the) USA", "Fuck the USA" or "USA".

A: Yes, and I think the original title is "USA". In any case, that's how we always called it. Also, it's certainly easier to have it circulate in social media with that title.

Q: Among all the covers you played in the concerts, how did you chose the ones you wanted to record?

A: We recorded absolutely all of the songs we played live, so we had around twenty minutes of covers. I still don't know what we will do with the other ones.

Q: Ah, OK. So, among them, how did you choose the ones that ended up in the final album? Namely, S.O.D.'s Speak English or Die and Corrosion of Conformity's Loss For Words.

A: I don't even know... surely we thought that those were the ones that would fit the best with the others. I think most albums right now are too long, and that's also the [incomplete]

Q: Also, why did you split up?

A: We never split up, we're about to release a new album!

Q: Yes, it's true, you never officially split up, but you didn't do anything together for twenty years...

A: We just took a break. A 20-year break! (Laughs). I challenge you to find a note in which we announced that we split up as a group...

Q: I spent an afternoon in Paris with Mike Patton last summer...

A: Oh, poor guy... (Laughs)

Q: (Laughs) You wouldn't believe it if I told you. We spoke to him in English, but he answered us in Spanish a few times... Also, when he showed up on a Youtube video playing a cover of "Speak English or Die" with the members of S.O.D., I wasn't surprised that he renamed it "Speak Spanish or Die". Your version is also entitled "Habla Español o Muere". Do you know why he's obsessed with Spanish these days?

A: Oh, I don't think he's obsessed with Spanish, but he is still in San Francisco, and many people speak Spanish in California...

Q: Yes, that's what he told us afterwards. Well, after a while, he posted videos on Youtube, which were shared by the Revolver magazine website, in which he pronounces Spanish words, dressed like a Mexican bandit or something...

A: (Laughs) What I know is that he spent a long time learning Italian, and both languages are a bit similar. I think, in any case, that more Americans, starting with myself, should follow his example and learn at least another language! (Says sentences in Spanish) That's all I can do...

Q: Did you retitle the song like that because S.O.D. and Billy Milano were considered racist at the time?

A: No, no, no, we don't care what people think! If you took those lyrics at face value, you would think the person writing them was racist, but it's clearly a joke. It's like when you write a poem or a movie script: you can write sentences for a character that is racist, but you want to express something else with it. It doesn't mean the person who wrote the text is racist, the character does not reflect who the writer is. I think people frequently forget that when they listen to music. When a singer takes the role of a narrator, it doesn't mean what is sung is their personal opinion. No, we renamed the song because we love hispanic culture, because many people speak Spanish in the United States, and because of the Trumpism that has grown over there, this "build a wall" attitude. But we could have recorded it with the original lyrics, we don't care.

Q: Yes, and also "La Cucaracha" establishes the link between "Hypocrites" and "Habla Español o Muere".

A: Yes, "La Cucaracha" is in the demo, I couldn't tell you why, but it's what gave us the idea of replacing the second part of "Hypocrites" with "Habla Español o Muere", the Spanish language is the link.

Q: When re-recording these songs, did the dive into that time make you want to re-listen to your thrash, thrashcore and hardcore albums you listened to when you were 16-17 years old?

A: Not really. Well, a bit of nostalgia is apparent in my choices when I look into my CD and vinyl collection. But I didn't feel the need to resort to these old records, I just had to re-study these old Mr. Bungle songs and to reconnect with this style of music, because it requires some practice. So we had to record new demos for the songs, so that Dave and Scott could learn them, since it was impossible with the original demo. Reecording these demos, to me, helped me remember the songs and work on them. It's crazy: when I play these riffs again, I can remember what I was thinking when I wrote them 35 years ago... At the time, I listened to all kinds of metal, thrash, punk metal, crossover, but I also listened to Jaco Pastorius, The Police, Charlie Parker, Stravinsky, a bunch of different things. So, when I was in high school, one had to choose where one stood, if you were a punk, if you were a skater who listened to J.F.A. (Jodie Foster Army) and Corrosion of Conformity or if you were a metalhead who listened to Metallica. Listening to these groups and subgenres at the same time was considered weird, it was frowned upon. Mike, Trey and I always thought that was ridiculous, we listened to anything.

Q: In the 90s, many bands like Anthrax or Corrosion of Conformity evolved to a heavier and more melodic type of music. Did you still listen to them during that time?

A: Not really. After Reign in Blood, which could be the pinnacle of this genre of music, I lost interest. I was in college, I got more into classical music and took a deeper dive into other genres. Thus, I didn't listen to a lot of metal in the 90s. I always listen to Reign in Blood or Animosity and they always sound good to me. But bands evolve, people's tastes evolve, and I didn't follow the careers of these bands that I enjoyed, also due to a certain lack of time.

Q: Do you listen to current bands that play this type of 80s thrash/thrashcore?

A: Pfff... no, I'm really out of the loop in regards to what's happening in the metal scene. I've heard a few grindcore groups, but mostly those that are more extreme, like Full of Hell, which we invited to open for us in New York. So I don't know a lot of what is done in metal nowadays, but I enjoy a few bands and have been attending their concerts when I can. But so many albums come out, it's crazy, it's impossible to follow... On the other hand, I haven't listened to young bands playing 80s thrash in a long time...

Q: Let's talk a bit about the shows that you played in February...

A: It was all really cool: playing these songs live, being face to face with an excited crowd, with all these cool bands opening for us (Full of Hell, Ho99o9, Melvins, Hirax, Victims Family, Spotlights, Possessed, Cattle Decapitation, Intestinal Digorge, Cunts, Cleric...).

----

Q: Were your fans surprised that you reunited with this lineup and these songs? Even recently, even though it had been a few months that the reunion was announced, some fans appeared to be blindsided when you released "Raping Your Mind".

A: Oh, yeah! Many people aren't happy, they think this isn't the "true Mr. Bungle". They complain that these songs have nothing new or experimental about them, that it wasn't what they were expecting of us etc. But hey, we always did what we wanted, none of our albums are similar and as long as Trey, Mike and I are in the group, it's Mr. Bungle, period! In any case, other fans are quite pleased!

Q: In New York, Harley Flanagan joined you on stage to play "Malfunction", originally by the Cro-Mags, with you. This seems to be Mike's idea...

A: Yes, Mike contacted him. We are big fans of the first Cro-Mags album. We had plans to play with other guests, especially Keith Morris from the Circle Jerks, who was going to go on stage with us in Los Angeles, but he couldn't because he got sick.

Q: Jed Watts, your first drummer, who played on the demo, also went on stage with you...

A: Yes, he came to play "Anarchy Up Your Anus" during one of our concerts in San Francisco. We were in contact with him and told him about our project to re-record these songs. He told us he was a bit jeaous, but he was also happy for us. That was a happy reunion.

Q: Does he still play music?

A: Yes, he didn't become a professional musician like us, but he still plays with a band in Eureka.

Q: Well, how does the future look like for Mr. Bungle right now?

A: Eugh... surviving until 2021. Not catching this virus. We wanted to play other concerts with this line-up before all this madness. And I think we will do it sometime. But for now, the future is really vague, not only concerning Mr. Bungle, since all of our activities are suspended.

Q: I suppose you were invited by European festivals?

A: We received a bunch of offers from festivals around the world, it's incredible! But I don't know what's going to happen, maybe there will be no concerts ever again... (Laughs)

Q: If I understand what you told me just now, you don't think about trying to write new music with this line-up.

A: No, we said all we wanted to say with this line-up, it's over. Barring the possibility of new concerts, because it would be cool to be able to play more shows. Also to release the other covers that we recorded. But I don't see any interest in recording another album in this genre. When we start a project, we go deep, we put all of our energy into making it perfect. Afterwards, we never recover that same energy to do the same thing over again. Some groups, perhaps most of them, do that: record an album, tour, record a similar album etc. I don't know why, but I think of Radiohead. I'm a big fan of OK Computer, I've listened to that album a million times. Their next albums are really good, the band evolved, for sure, but they developed a specific sound. I would like to evolve like that with Mr. Bungle, but I don't know if we're capable of that, I don't think so... In any case, concerning 80s thrash, we've said what we wanted to say. But we are children of 80s thrash, so this music always runs in our blood -- it'll come out whatever we do, whether in a riff, in an attitude, or in something else...

Q: Could you write and record a metal album, but not really 80s-based, something more modern?

A: Yes, we could record an album in the style of, uh... uh... fill in the blank! (Laughs)

Q: You could reunite with another Mr. Bungle line-up and do something else...

A: There are no plans for that.

Q: Are you still in touch with Danny Heifetz, Clinton McKinnon or Theo Lengyel?

A: Not with Theo, but with Danny and Clinton, yes. I talk to them from time to time, but both live in Australia. We of course updated them on what we were about to do, since we wanted to be really transparent with them. We presented the project to them: "There you go, we re-recorded the first demo with Dave and Scott, we're going to play concerts using the name Mr. Bungle, and if you don't like it... fuck you!" (Laughs) No, they totally got it. I would love to play with those guys again. We'll see...

Q: Out of the three Mr. Bungle albums, which one is your favorite? I feel people often choose the first one or California, Disco Volante less often, sadly, especially all the bad bands that copy you...

A: (Laughs) I'd say California, because in terms of studio work, it's truly our pinnacle. But honestly, I don't listen to them, they are too loaded with memories, I can't listen to my own albums, no matter what they are. I can't prevent myself from revisiting the situation, the studio sessions, our arguments about this or that song, and also i think about production choices that weren't kept, etc. It's too loaded with memories that infect my listening.

Q: Did you use your confinement to write and start new projects?

A: Yes, I wrote for my next Trio Convulsant album. I hope I have enough material for an album at the end of the year, and then record it as soon as possible.

Q: Is the new Tomahawk album finished?

A: Yes! Duane, John and I recorded our parts three years ago in Nashville. We then waited for Patton to finish his vocal parts, and I think he did so recently. I can't even remember what the album sounds like! (Laughs)

Q: You can't even tell me if it's different or not?

A: No, I don't remember at all... I'm exaggerating, I think it sounds like the one I played on before, Oddfellows. Tomahawk is Duane's baby, he writes it all, he even gives Mike ideas for lyrics. I'd say the album sounds a bit like the last one, but I didn't listen to it finished...

#mr bungle #trevor dunn #The Raging Wrath Of The Easter Bunny #music

24 notes · View notes

hanscom · 4 years ago

Note

reddie enemies to lovers

(I keep trying to convince myself to finish this, but it hasn’t happened yet and it’s been over a year since I started it. So here, have some hockey enemies to friends nonsense.

Fair warning: this is the same game as we all know and love, but the ins and outs of professional hockey detailed here are made up. I don’t know the specifics about what goes on off the ice, okay? Correct me if you must, but I highly encourage you to just embrace the fact that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

Also, I love you all, still and forever. Thanks for following me even after all this time.)

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak Rating: T Word count: 2,948

It’s cold in the arena.

It’s worse, down on the ice. The air is sharp and stinging on his face, in his lungs. His skates are steady under his feet. The lights are blazing overhead. He can’t smell much except the sweaty inside of his helmet, but he imagines it smells like popcorn and hoppy beer. It smells like game day. It smells like home.

Richie doesn’t think there could be anything better than this.

He’s skating backwards around the rink, gliding fast across the freshly buffed ice, content in the knowledge that no one is going to run into him. His team has gotten pretty good at working around him. They’re starting to become a pretty effortless unit, for the most part. It’s something Richie is pretty fucking proud of.

He whooshes past Ben and around one of the rookies, shouting joyful nonsense that echoes off the ice. They yell back at him, but he can’t make out the words over the sound of his skates and the blood rushing in his ears.

And then Stan skates out from the tunnel and into his way. Richie twists fast to the side, digging down, slowing to a quick stop. Ice sprays up under his blades. Stan, unimpressed as always, doesn’t move. “Are you done showing off?” he asks, his mouthguard hanging from his helmet. The only time he ever takes it out on the ice is to give Richie a hard time.

“What’s that?” Richie says. “I can’t hear you from down there.”

Stan is the smallest guy on the team. He’s almost a solid foot shorter than Richie, and he’s constantly sore as fuck about it. Richie doesn’t get it. If Stan were any bigger, any less quick on his feet, he wouldn’t be half the player he is. Stan’s a winger. His entire hockey career revolves around being fast. And, anyway, Richie’s kind of big for a centerman, but you don’t hear him bitching about it.

They’re close to the goal. Mike is standing there in the crease, suited up, his hulking equipment making him look massive. “Are we really doing this again?” he calls, but he’s laughing about it.

Richie digs his skates in, gliding an easy circle around the goal. “We sure are,” he says, grinning. “You know Stan plays a better game when he’s pissed off.”

“I could play a better game than you in a coma,” Stan shouts. His face is red, some combination of cold air and actual anger. Stan’s normally a pretty level-headed guy, but Richie gets under his skin, shakes him up, makes him mad. His game has gotten a thousand times more aggressive since they met. Bill sometimes jokes about putting him on defense, but he never will. Stan as Richie’s left wing is pretty much the only reason the Portland Pioneers ever score.

It’s not that their right wing is bad, exactly. He’s just… not good. Richie can say that. He’s not the captain, like Bill. He’s not even an alternate, like Stan and Ben. He doesn’t have to be diplomatic. He doesn’t have to play nice. Hockey’s not a nice sport. Hockey’s about being fast and smart and violent. Right winger Patrick Hockstetter might be mean as hell, but he’s also slow as fuck and dumb as a box of rocks. Richie can work with a lot of things, but he can’t fix stupid.

But Richie’s trying not to think about it. He doesn’t need to go into the game expecting Patrick to fuck it up for them (again). It’s bad luck. And Albany’s a good team. Richie has to focus if he’s going to pull this one out.

—

The Pioneers lose in overtime, which is devastating. Losing always sucks, but it’s even worse, watching Albany celebrate on their ice.

Afterward, the locker room is quiet for a long time, aside from the five minutes Coach spends yelling at them for their admittedly awful performance. When he retreats back to his office, the team slowly strips out of their equipment, made sluggish by defeat. They’re all tired. Richie is already starting to ache, his body finally registering all the time he spent up against the boards. Bill and Ben are in even worse shape. Both of them already have bruises blooming across their ribs, across their backs. Albany played rough. The Pioneers haven’t had to fight that dirty in a long time. It makes the loss feel even worse, somehow.

Richie has just finished dragging on his street clothes when Bill finally speaks up. He has changed into the full three-piece suit he wears to impress the media circus waiting outside for him, and his hair is still damp from the shower. He looks sort of ridiculous, standing there in full monkey costume in front of the team, who are all in various states of undress. But he’s still the captain, so when Bill tells them to listen up, they do.

“You guys played really hard tonight,” he says. He’s trying to sound light-hearted, uplifting, but Richie has known him for a long time now. He’s just as crushed by the loss as everyone else — probably more so. There’s a small waver in his voice that says it all. “I know this isn’t the outcome we wanted, but that doesn’t change how well you all played.”

Richie looks down. It’s sort of worse, knowing they did well but lost anyway. They gave it their all, but it wasn’t good enough. It fucking sucks. Richie sort of wants to punch something. He sort of wants to sleep for a few days straight.

He really, really, really wants a right winger who can shoot a decent shot.

It’s not a very charitable thought. Patrick has played worse games than this one. But Richie’s too tired to play nice, and he can’t stop replaying all the shots they missed, all the times he was open and so was the goal but the puck was nowhere to be found and neither was Patrick.

Richie thinks, without meaning to, about Albany’s right winger. Thinks about the way he had sped across the ice, faster than Richie, faster even than Stan. He’d played a good game. A damn good game. Richie sort of really hates him for it, which isn’t fair. It’s not that guy’s fault Richie doesn’t have a solid line. But he is most of the reason Albany scored and scored and scored again, so Richie reserves the right to hate him, just a little.

Stan and Mike ask him out for a drink, but he declines. He wouldn’t be good company, and besides, he’s beat. So he bids them goodbye and leaves out the back, ball cap pulled low over his eyes to hopefully deter anyone from recognizing him. It works. He gets home without incident, makes himself a late dinner, and flips on the TV to watch a few highlights, because he’s an obsessive masochist. Pittsburgh beats Chicago, then Nashville loses to Dallas, and then he’s watching himself skate furiously down the length of the Pioneers’ rink. He groans, but doesn’t fumble for the remote. Helplessly, hopelessly, he watches Patrick lag behind. He watches Albany’s defense wrestle the puck away without much of a fight. He watches that tiny fucking demon of a right winger swoop in, taking control of the puck with an ease Richie can’t help but admire. God, the guy’s good.

The announcers call him Eddie Kaspbrak. The name sounds familiar, in the way that all good players sound familiar. Richie can only watch so many highlights in a night without picking up on a few things, and this is clearly not the first beautiful pass Kaspbrak has ever made. Richie makes a face and finally shuts the television off. He doesn’t need to relive Kaspbrak’s seamless pass to center, that perfect shot down the crease, the way Mike’s knee guards slapped to the ice a split-second too late. It was hard enough to watch in real time.

One day, he’s going to have a right wing like Kaspbrak, who can keep up and knows how to bank a shot. But today isn’t that day, so he gives up and goes to bed, upset and pissed off and stoking his quiet, irrational grudge against Eddie Kaspbrak.

—

Trade negotiations roll around. Richie tries not to worry about it, but he does. Everyone does.

In the end, it’s Patrick. Which isn’t surprising, exactly, but feels so much like everything Richie has ever wanted that it scares him. He finds himself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In late February, two weeks before the trade deadline, it does. Bill makes the announcement after a rough, sweaty afternoon practice. Richie is tired as fuck, still breathing heavy, but all the air jams up in his throat when Bill breaks the news.

The Portland Pioneers have acquired Eddie Kaspbrak.

—

Kaspbrak, in person and without all his gear, is even smaller than he looks on the ice.

He’s younger-looking than Richie expects. They’re the same age, but Richie has taken a few good hits over the years that have knocked his face a little out of whack. He has a crooked nose, twisted teeth. The entire left side of his jaw had to be painstakingly rebuilt three years ago when he took a puck to the face, which left his smile sort of lopsided.

Eddie doesn’t look like he’s ever taken a hit. He has a smooth, even face. Nice teeth. He’s good-looking, is all Richie’s saying. Richie didn’t expect it. He’s not sure why it catches him off-guard.

They meet for the first time off the ice the day the Pioneers are scheduled to play Carolina. Morning skate is optional, but Richie drags himself in anyway because Bill expects him to, and Richie’s a sucker who doesn’t want to disappoint his captain, even after all this time. It’s not even that early when he stumbles in but he feels bleary and sluggish, pulling on his gear without participating much in the locker talk. Stan tries to rile him up a few times, but gives up fast when Richie refuses to take the bait. Mike nudges him when he walks past. “Rough night?” he asks, grinning like he knows the answer. Richie spent his night with a microwaved pizza and the highlights reel, but that’s nobody’s damn business, so he shrugs.

And then Bill comes out of Coach’s office. The team doesn’t exactly snap to attention whenever he’s around, but the chatter dies down to a dull murmur. Especially when someone follows him out.

Kaspbrak is wearing street clothes — sneakers, jeans, a fucking polo shirt. Richie wonders if that’s the sort of thing he always wears or if he dressed up for them. He looks more comfortable than he probably should, standing in front of a group of strangers who, up until this point, have only known him as an opponent. He’s smiling. He is just — really good-looking. Richie is sort of hung up on it.

“This,” Bill announces, “is Eddie. He’s going to practice with us this morning.”

The season hasn’t even officially ended. Patrick got pulled from the roster when the trade was announced, but he’s still around. His locker’s not even empty. Richie doesn’t like the guy or anything, but that has to be a tough pill to swallow. Richie can’t even imagine what being replaced like that would feel like.

On the other hand, he really, really wants to get out on the ice with Kaspbrak. He wants to see what the guy can do, up close and personal.

It’s a tough thing, being both impressed and annoyed by the sight of someone. It’s made worse by the way Bill stares him down until he manages to force a smile in Eddie’s direction. Kaspbrak grins back at him, easy. His teeth are stupidly perfect. None of them are chipped or anything. Richie can’t remember the last time he met a hockey player with a perfect face. Something about it freaks him out.

Bill claps Eddie on the shoulder. “Welcome to the team,” he says. Most of the guys echo the sentiment. Richie mumbles something that sounds close enough and finishes lacing up his skates.

He doesn’t have to play nice with Kaspbrak. He just has to play well with Kaspbrak. There’s a big difference, and Richie is clinging stubbornly to it.

—

The thing is, Kaspbrak is really fucking good.

Richie knew. Of course he knew. He hardly ever lets the losses get to him, because God knows there have been too many to remember them all over the years, but he’s been hung up on the Albany game for months now. He’s watched the playback more than once, and has most of Albany’s season saved to his DVR.

But it’s different in person. Kaspbrak is so fast. So steady on his feet. Richie hasn’t been impressed by something as simple as skating since he was a kid, but the way Kaspbrak does it shakes him up. The guy skates like a dream. Richie is so jealous, and so impressed, and so fucking confused. He’s spent the better part of the season hating this guy, and now he’s here, gliding around Richie in wide circles, lapping Bill and Ben and even Stan, looking like maybe he’s not even making much of an effort.

Morning skate is easy, most of the time. Everyone wants to be at their best for that night’s game, and half the team didn’t even show. But Eddie throws the dynamic off, makes them all a little hot and hungry for some actual play, and before Richie knows it, Mike and his rookie are guarding opposing nets and Richie’s facing off with Bill, staring at him through the grate of his helmet, his mouthguard clenched between his teeth. It’s not a real scrimmage. They don’t have enough players to run a real game. But Richie doesn’t care, because Stan volunteered as Bill’s winger, which left Kaspbrak all for Richie. Richie can feel him, on his right, just outside the face-off circle. Richie has this weird, sudden urge to look back at him, but then the puck is on the ground and there’s no time.

Bill is a vicious center. He’s not as fast as Richie, but he’s stronger. There’s a reason he plays defense. His body is one solid line of muscle, and he’s not afraid of using it. He shoulder-checks Richie, almost knocks him off balance with the force of it, but Richie bares his teeth and refuses to give up ground. Bill is probably a better player than Richie is in the long run, but Richie is the best center the team has ever had. He wrestles the puck out of Bill’s reach and bears down on the ice, shooting across the rink. Eddie is ahead of him. Richie hasn’t had a winger faster than him in so long he almost forgets to make the pass.

Eddie doesn’t hesitate. He moves like a blur, so fast it’s hard to keep track of his stick against the puck, driving it effortlessly forward. Mike is braced in the crease, his big body held wide, but he’s just not quick enough. Eddie comes at him from the side, bent down, stick jumping from one side of the puck to the other. And then it’s over. One second, he’s barreling down the rink, and the next, the puck is in the net — a perfect backhand shot.

It’s just practice. There’s no cheering, no booming announcement, no music. But Richie feels the same way he always does, his pulse loud in his ears, his heart tight in his chest.

“Kaspbrak!” he roars. “You son of a bitch!”

Eddie has the kind of smile that could melt the ice. He looks so pleased, so proud. Richie skates to him and throws an arm around his shoulder, smacking his helmet.

“We went easy on you!” Stan shouts, because he’s a sore loser.

“You kidding?” Richie yells back. “You couldn’t have caught him if you tried!”

Eddie’s shoulders shake. Richie leans into him, grinning, thrilled beyond measure. They drift a little on the ice, aimless, anchored together.

“It won’t happen again,” Bill says. He’s a competitive motherfucker, which makes him a great player and an even better captain. It won’t be easy, getting the puck away from him again.

Eddie grins up at Richie like maybe he’s up for the challenge.

—

Eddie scores two more times. He insists that they don’t call it a hat trick, considering it’s just practice and he’s scared of jinxing it. Richie doesn’t care what they call it. All he knows is Eddie scored three fucking times, and he assisted all of them. He doesn’t even mind that he wasn’t the one to make the shots. It’s better, almost, watching Eddie do it.

Bill lets morning skate go longer than normal, probably hoping to pull out a single goal, but after awhile he finally calls them off the ice. Richie is dripping with sweat when he peels himself out of his equipment. He didn’t realize how hard he’d been working. It hadn’t felt like much, being out there on the ice, falling into Eddie’s rhythm, into his gravity.

Eddie hangs back while everyone files out, looking around like maybe he’s still taking everything in. His hair is wet from the shower and his face is flushed. Richie nudges him on his way out. “Sure you can’t play with us tonight?” he asks. It’s not possible, but it makes Eddie beam.

“Won’t be long,” Eddie assures him.

Richie doesn’t say so, but he can’t fucking wait.

#reddie #it fic #sometimes i write things

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pinkysfaultorbrainsfault · 4 years ago

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animaniacs - s1e60: the cranial crusader

sorry this one’s late! i went out tonight. it was nice. uvu

episode summary: after realising that the superhero they apparently live with has just one guy left to take down, the mice don capes and masks in the hope that getting there first will gain them noteriety.

the rundown:

we open on a shot of Mouse Car.

according to the narration it’s an opossum car, actually. never mind! rodents are of course interchangeable. opossum car is owned by the caped opossum, who seems to be doing some cool shit with it.

yeet.

thankfully, despite his track record with dangerous driving, the caped opossum makes it home safely, it seems.

good for him.

“chalk up another caped opossum law enforcement victory, alphonse.” obviously, yes, he’s supposed to be batman, but he’s less batman and more a man who’s been smoking 70 a day for longer than i have been alive.

good thing alphonse doesn’t seem to mind! if we’re going full batman here he probably raised the dude, so i can only assume his chainsmoking habits were encouraged.

“astounding, sir. remote?

“thanks.”

as the caped oppossum trundles off to “see if he’s made the eleven o clock news”-- oh? is that a grumpy boy we see in the background?

oh, that is an extra grumpy boy, today. something about superheroes must piss him off. either that, or AKOM got hold of this one.

brain pauses his seething temporarily to devote his attention to pinky, who is narfing quite happily to himself.

“what spectacular adventure awaits the caped opossum in his next issue?”

“grow up, pinky.”

the boys are fighting ):

brain’s in a bad mood today, apparently. as the two of them bicker over whether the opossum is a “crime fighting genius” (pinky) or “a self obsessed, nocturnal loon with a dreadful fashion sense” (brain) the aforementioned object of their discourse is watching the news.

it’s captivating enough for the mice to stop mid-callout post, anyway. i’m so sorry this is the only frame i could get of pinky. flashdance.

“tonight, the caped opossum’s calling card was found again, making a near perfect record for the masked marsupial.”

“except for!” oh god it’s this horrifying lady again. “arch fiend johnny badnote.”

(me: what would you do if i changed my name to johnny badnote? my boyfriend: scream.)

“that cursed johnny badnote! he’s the only thing standing between me and true superhero fame.”

and then he starts to cry and has to be taken away by alphonse.

to that, brain makes a funny face. i’m not sure why.

“are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain, but i can’t memorise a whole opera in yiddish.”

okay.

as brain picks the lock on their cage-- actually, as brain does that i need to tell you that for some reason there are horrifying squelching noises at this part. i have no idea why. it’s like there’s a portal in there leading to a pasta bake. be thankful you can’t hear them from here. it’s incredibly visceral.

but anyway, no, as he squishes around in there, he explains to pinky that he shall “become a costumed, crime fighting hero, and thwart johnny badnote, overshadowing the caped opossum.” and then he’ll be so famous he’ll be elected, like, world president or something, immediately.

worked for batman. so anyway they go off and do that i guess.

TAADAAAAAA.

MOUSE IN SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS. pinky actually looks sick as hell. i love it. i’m sure i went to class dressed like this once or twice. what an icon! hell yeah! the pink wonder is ready for action!!!

brain has put an awful lot of effort into padding out his muscles, and none at all into wearing any trousers.

hm.

undeterred by the possibility of Embarrassing Slip, the Cranial Crusader (which is his new name now) (better than the john, i guess) shows off his own calling card, which is basically just art theft.

not particularly original. still, they have shit to do, so they go off and steal mr opossum’s car.

which is a crime in itself, but they’re not going to let that stop them.

somehow, brain magically knows where johnny badnote’s hideout is. how? i can’t say. maybe he left his details at the Secret Club For People Named John B that they both go to.

“too bad we can’t use the power possum’s prehensile tail hook to lower ourselves down.” says pinky, who is in the middle of drawing The Caped Crusader Comic Book.

“why, who says we can’t?”

so they do.

good thing there’s no danger in dangling precariously over the edge of a cliff like that.

ah! wait, no, the train says you can’t. sorry, brain.

oof.

the mice are fine, don’t worry. pinky is immune to damage and brain had an albinistic edition of the yellow pages to break his fall.

look at his FEETS.

but that aside. the mice are undeterred, and pinky suggests they use the “power sniffer” to sniff out johnny badnote’s lair, and pushes a bunch of buttons to make that happen.

“you seem to know much of the crimefighter business, pinky.”

“i learnt everything from comic books.”

et voila! the power sniffer!

seems to be in working order. “egad!” yells pinky, “it must really smell something stinky!” before immediately crashing into the wall.

lol.

conclusion:

so it... doesn’t actually take them that long to identify that they’ve crashed right into johnny badnote’s lair.

regular bard, this dude. brain mentions that “thwarting the arch-twerp johnny badnote should be child’s play,”

before they get squoshed by a piano. hee hee.

“if that’s not a song cue,” says the adult progeny of the snow and heat misers, “my name isn’t johnny badnote!” and his name is johnny badnote, so you can tell it’s-- it’s the-- never mind.

he cradles the mice so gently in his palm, and tells them enthusiatically that he’s going to blow up the world.

OH I’M JOHNNY BADNOTE ARCHFIEND FELON SLIME

THE PUBLIC DIDN’T LIKE MY SONGS AND SO I TURNED TO CRIME

i love this bastard. he ties the mice to this giant egg.

“when my metronome yanks out your firing pin, my music box egg grenade will play lovely music for a few, precious, seconds, before kaboom! it gives me your last downbeat!”

“you call that a diabolical plan?” says brain, who is pictured near the bottom there. he’s the tiny white blob.

“oh, there’s more. when i hear that downbeat, i’ll play my missile launching pipe organ and blow up the wooooorld!”

man, i love this guy! why doesn’t he come back? i want him in every episode of the reboot.

“is that diabolical enough?”

“yes.”

but! as johnny badnote prepares himself to play the Johnny Bad Notes, he, uh.

he forgets they’re mice, and they can just... wriggle out.

with a triumphant “narf”, pinky rescues his beloved comic book,

and manages to yeet the grenade in the process.

oops.

still, never mind. nothing bad could come of that. brain leaves his Art Theft Calling Card.

“pinky, let’s get out of here.”

“hey, what’s keeping that downbeat?”

well, job done, i suppose. satisfied, the mice head back to the... possum cave? i guess?

but oh wait, what’s this?

you have got to be kidding me.

still, the imperceptively convenient inkblots do their job, and the mice get the bad news a little later, from the weird, weird looking woman from earlier.

“in other news tonight, johnny badnote was finally captured by a masterful crime fighter and great hero--”

“the caped oppossum.”

well.

that’s... that, i guess.

brain turns off the tv. his facial features seem to have shrunk in righteous rage.

brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 7

“minature crimefighters??? i’ve got to get out more.”

#patb #a!#pinky and the brain #animaniacs #for real #johnny badnote is the best oneshot character i've seen on this show so far #hulu: i beseech you to bring him back for the 2020

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zenithlux · 4 years ago

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My One and Only - Yandere!VergilxReader

Welcome back! This was a request for Yandere!Vergil/Fem!Reader by someone who would like to remain anonymous. Thanks so much for the support! I’ve never written Yandere anyone before, so I hope I did it justice.

You can find my commission info here!

The moment Vergil saw her, he knew she was the one. But considering how he’d never felt such a revelation before- except maybe that one time he didn’t want to think about - he had no idea what to do with it.

He wasn’t entirely certain why he felt this way. It could be her general personality; bubbly and upbeat, but serious when she needed to be (which was often when one was saddled with Dante as much as she was). Maybe it was her physique, as he would be lying if he said she wasn’t attractive. Maybe it was the way she smiled and laughed around him as if it were perfectly normal and he wasn’t some terrible demon who’d murdered hundreds of thousands of people. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way he’d gotten lost in her eyes twice now, and she’d had the audacity (and confidence) to tease him over it.

All he knew for certain was that he needed her in his life. And not just as a friend. That was good enough for Dante maybe, but not Vergil. No, Vergil wanted to make her fall in love with him.

Things had started off innocent enough. As one of Morrison’s agents, she was a frequent caller of Devil May Cry, and Dante himself spent a large amount of time visiting her for payment and the like. Of course, Vergil knew that Dante was growing tired of it, as he much preferred kicking back and letting everyone else work around him. So, in an effort to help his little brother, Vergil innocently suggested that he deal with all communications between her and Devil May Cry. Dante was thrilled that Vergil was looking to take a more “active role in the business”. She agreed to the new arrangement, and, as far as Vergil knew, both were none the wiser.

Now, he saw her almost every day, usually at night, though he learned very quickly that he got much better results if he visited early in the morning. That was an easy enough fix as, unlike Dante, Vergil enjoyed being up early. So instead of showing up whenever he felt like it, Vergil scheduled his visits; after nine am, but before noon with at least thirty minutes to spare. She too seemed to appreciate his attention to detail, as she seemed much more enthusiastic (and awake) during those meetings. It also made the occasional night visit much more bearable, as she always assumed it was Dante demanding the late night payment - a lie Vergil had never bothered to correct.

Once the two had established a suitable rapport, Vergil transitioned to learning absolutely everything he could about her. Full name. Age. Hobbies. Her favorite food, drinks, color, time of day and season. Whether or not she had or was interested in owning any pets. What kind of house she lived in and whether or not she was looking for something else. Anything that was even remotely important, Vergil found out about it. Most of it had been through both observation and casual conversation. Her “office” was a tiny room in her apartment, and she had no qualms with letting him inside whenever he asked. It also helped that she was very forthcoming with information of all kinds, and Vergil did his best to sprinkle in personal questions with as much care as he possibly could. Sometimes, when she left him alone for just the right amount of time, he helped himself to the various pictures on the wall, books on her bookshelf, or a million other things that painted a picture of this woman he was still getting to know.

But no matter what he did, Vergil remained as subtle as possible, lest she flee before he had a chance to make his move.

And after four months of this rigorous schedule, Vergil knew things were going well. He didn’t miss the coy smiles and her shameless attempts at flirting (she really wasn’t very good at it, but it was the thought that counted). He saw the gentle touches she reached for, and allowed just enough to keep her interested. A month after that, she started sending him small gifts; dark chocolate he’d subtly mentioned liking, cards with special bookmarks or a gift card. A fruit basket filled with strawberries (he’d been rather pleased by that one). She’d even given him a small stuffed animal, and it took Vergil far too long to realize that she must have slept with it before giving it away, as it smelled so strongly of her that it drove him wild. And he’d returned the gesture with one of his own.

He hadn’t missed the way her eyes had widened when she held thatstuffed, black cat; a memento of the one she’d lost two weeks before they met. Or the way she’d attempted to discreetly smell it for the cologne he’d generously doused it with- another gift of hers that he used so often that even Dante had started to notice.

By the eight month mark, Vergil knew he’d ensnared her completely. Sure, to her they were just really close friends. She was, after all, still in a relationship. A poor one- that boy treated her terribly - but one all the same. All Vergil needed was a little push. Something drastic that would have her swooning in his arms for the rest of her days.

And, after another few weeks of waiting - more days spent in and around her apartment- Vergil found his opportunity.

It was during a walk; one he forced her on after he found her alone in her office with bags under her eyes with the blinds all closed in the middle of the day. She hadn’t said much, though what little she had given him was more than enough for him to know what had happened. “Break-up,” She had muttered. “Fucker’s been cheating on me for months.”

“Language,” was what Vergil thought. “Pity,” is what he actually said. He had met her ‘boyfriend’ (if one could call a man so absent from her life such a thing) only twice. The two had not gotten along. “He’s not worth your time.”

She kicked at a rock and sighed. “I really should have known.”

“Yes you probably should have.” Vergil said. “And you’re much too good for him.”

He saw the flicker of a smile before she glared at him. “Is that jealousy I hear?”

“You are walking with me, are you not?”

“You dragged me out here.”

“You needed sunlight.”

She scowled and looked away. “I was doing just fine, thank you.”

“You were mooping.”

“And I had it down to a science.”

“You need your exercise.”

“Why?” She said. “Why do you care so much?

Vergil spun on her, backing her gently against the brick wall. “It’s simple really.” He said. “No one deserves you.” He said. “No one but me.”

Her eyes widened as she took a step back. But he followed her, right against the brick wall “Why are you so…” She trailed off, but Vergil could hear the word protective nearly roll off her tongue. Or maybe aggressive or obsessed. He wasn’t certain, but it didn’t matter. Her eyes were wide, but not scared. Her mouth was partially open, but more in surprise than horrified shock. Her pupils were blown wide. Not with anxiety… but with something else entirely. Vergil could smell it… the sweet scent of desire. “That’s why you’ve been around me so much.”

“Maybe.”

“He blamed you, you know.”

“Good.”

“So technically, you’re the reason we broke up.”

“Even better.”

“Vergil…”

He took another step forward, pinning her against the brick wall. One hand fell beside her head. The other gently grabbed her chin, tilting it until she was looking straight at him. “You’re mine,” He growled as he stared down at her like a lion stalking its prey. “All mine.”

After a moment, her weary expression turned to a confident grin. “All yours,” She repeated in a way that made Vergil return her smile with a soft, almost feral smirk of his own.

“Good girl.”

Ko-fi – Master List – AO3

#Zenni-Writes #commission #yandere #vergil #vergilxreader #vergilxyou #third-person reader

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dlwritings · 4 years ago

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Firecracker Soul | Dean Winchester

Chapter 7 - Full of Surprises

pairing - mob!Dean x teacher!ofc

word count - 3,039

warnings - none

additional notes at the end

(previous)

On the way to Cas and Hannah's, Dean could tell Alice was nervous. Her leg was bouncing, and her grip on the pie tin was tight. When they pulled up to the house, she let out a shaky breath. Dean killed the engine and turned to look at her. "Are you sure this isn't weird?" she asked before he could even open his mouth. "They're not gonna think I'm-" She hesitated, and Dean furrowed his eyebrows.

"What?" he asked.

She sighed. "They're not going to think I'm like, I don't know, the dramatic opposite of a cougar? Or that I'm clingy? Or-"

Dean cut her off by softly kissing her. He felt her relax and put her hand on his cheek. He smiled when her fingers scratched his beard, then pulled away. "Don't overthink it," he said. "They're not going to think any of that. They're really excited to see you. Between me and Lexi, they already know you're great." She blushed and darted her eyes around nervously. "And," he said, holding her chin so she would look at him again, "this is a super relaxed night. These dinners aren't anything other than a scheduled chance for us to hang out."

"Okay," she said, nodding her head. "Sorry."

Dean wished she wouldn't apologize so much, but he could tell it wasn't something she could control. Apologizing was like second nature to her. It was deeply ingrained in her, and he wondered why. And why had him apologizing to her affecting her the way it had? And why did she flinch when he touched her in the car? He had an idea, because he wasn't an idiot, but he didn't want to accept that it was true.

They got out of the car and walked up to the front door of the house. Dean walked in without knocking, and Alice followed behind him. "Where's the party at?" Dean called playfully. They heard a squeal and tiny feet run over to them. Lexi stopped in her tracks.

"Ms. Alice!" she cheered. She completely ignored Dean and ran over to Alice. Alice quickly handed Dean the pie so she could crouch down and catch the girl in a hug.

"Hey, girlie," she said. "How are you?"

"I'm so good," she said. "I can't believe you're here! Are you on a date with Uncle Dean?" Alice laughed and looked up at Dean who rolled his eyes with a grin.

"I think so," she told Lexi. "But I'm glad you're here, because you're way more fun than he is." Lexi giggled and grabbed Alice's hand.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go play."

"Hang on, kiddo," Dean said with a laugh. "Let's let her say hi to the grown ups first." Lexi pouted, and Alice smiled.

"We can play later, okay?" she said. Lexi smiled again and nodded, so the three of them walked into the kitchen. Dean kept a hand on her back which helped her relax.

"You guys know each other, yeah?" Dean said. "I don't need to make introductions?"

"Of course not," Jess said, opening her arms up and pulling Alice in for a hug. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," she said, hugging everyone before settling at Dean's side again. She looked at Cas and Hannah. "Thanks for having me."

"Of course," Hannah said with a smile. "We're sick of hanging out with Dean anyway." Dean rolled his eyes as Alice giggled.

"Well, I made a pie," she said, motioning to the pie Dean left on the counter.

"We made a pie," Dean pressed.

"Mm," Alice hummed, turning her lips down and shrugging. "He existed in my space while I made it." The others laughed again and Dean threw his hands in the air.

"Why did I invite you again?" he asked.

She smiled up at him with those sweet eyes, and he remembered.

"Alright," Hannah said, clapping her hands together. "We ready to eat?"

They all agreed and gathered around the table. Hannah and Cas had made spaghetti bolognese and homemade garlic bread. "This all looks great," Alice said, folding her napkin on her lap as Dean poured her some of the wine that Sam and Jess had brought.

"It's my first time making it," Hannah said, "so be honest if it stinks. I won't be offended."

Conversation went from Alice talking about her hobbies to everyone sharing stories of family, which led to Alice talking about her car knowledge, impressing Cas and Sam just as she had impressed Dean. They all seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her, and it made her feel so comfortable. Dean's hand resting casually on her thigh definitely helped too. His thumb rubbed soft circles on her skin, and it was making those little butterflies continue swirling around the pit of her stomach.

When everyone finished eating, Alice offered to help Hannah clean up while the others moved to the living room to drink and chat. Jess joined them, helping move the leftovers into some containers and loading the dishwasher. "Where did Dean take you on your date the other day?" Jess asked.

"We went out to his restaurant," she said, "which was crazy, because I had no idea he owned a restaurant." The girls chuckled.

"The man is definitely full of surprises," Hannah said.

"Yeah, like when he asked me to come tonight," Alice said. "That was a surprise too."

"Things must be going well already in his mind," Jess said, "because he hasn't brought someone to dinner since before Lex was born."

"Really?" Alice said. She tried to fight the giddy smile growing on her face as she bit her lip and focused again on the food she was putting into the tupperware. Jess bumped hips with Alice, and Alice couldn't help but giggle.

"Dean doesn't usually move this fast," Jess said. "I'd take that as a good sign."

"You think he'll let me stick around?" Alice joked. The girls both chuckled again.

"I hope so," Hannah said. "I'm sick of single Dean. He was much more fun when he had Lisa around." Alice cocked her head to the side.

"Lisa?" she asked. Hannah's eyes grew wide for a moment as she looked at Jess and cleared her throat.

"Probably shouldn't have brought that up," Hannah said.

"Who's Lisa?" Alice pressed. She didn't want to sound obsessive or nosey. She was just curious.

"Dean dated her for a while," Jess said. "Maybe nine or ten years ago now. It was the last serious relationship he's ever been in."

"Why'd they break up?" she asked. Jess and Hannah looked at each other, silently saying something Alice couldn't understand.

"Maybe have Dean tell you that," Jess said. "He'll probably tell you on his own someday. It's really not a big deal."

"I just wouldn't bring it up," Hannah said. "It's not exactly a second date conversation."

"And it's really not a big deal," Jess said again.

"Yeah," Hannah agreed. "We're just glad he found someone to bring by again. Like Jess said, it's a good sign."

As uncomfortable as this revelation made her, she decided not to dwell. Hannah and Jess said it wasn't a big deal, and that her being there was a good sign. Those details were far more important than the fact that he hadn't been in a serious relationship since he was 31.

When they finished up in the kitchen, they all went back to the living room to sit and chat with the others. As soon as they walked in, Lexi shot up from where she was sitting. "Ms. Alice, will you play now?" she asked. "Look! I brought my favorite Barbies." She showed her a doctor and a princess, which made Alice smile. She opened her mouth to respond, but Dean stopped her.

"Ms. Alice wants to sit with the grown-ups," he said. Lexi pouted, and Dean raised his eyebrows at her. "You think that's gonna work on me?"

"It always works on you," Sam said.

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Not this time. Ms. Alice can play with you another time."

"You're no fun," Alice said to Dean. He grinned and grabbed her by the waist to pull her onto his lap. She did her best not to spill her wine as she sat down and looked at him with wide eyes. He just grinned and kissed her cheek. He loved how pink her cheeks turned when she was flustered, and it didn't take him long to learn she was so easily flustered.

Dean and Alice didn't end up leaving the house until well after 10:00. "Dinner's at Dean's on Saturday," Hannah said, giving Alice a hug goodbye. "Maybe you can convince him to serve something other than Chinese takeout."

Alice laughed. "If I'm welcomed back, I'll see what I can do."

"You're always welcomed in my mind," Jess said, squeezing Alice's arm. Dean and Alice got into the Impala while Sam, Jess, and Lexi got into their SUV. Alice was trying not to smile like a weirdo as Dean pulled out of the driveway. She jumped a bit when he reached over and grabbed her hand.

"Told ya, sweetheart," he said. "That was nice, right?"

"Yeah," Alice said, looking over at him with a smile. "Thanks for letting me come."

"Course," Dean said. When they were at a stoplight, he looked at her. "So," he said, "how would you feel about coming over to my place tonight?" Her smile dropped as her lips parted slightly. "It's not a big deal," he said, reaching over to cup her cheek in his hand. "Don't freak out." She let out an embarrassed laugh and looked down.

"Am I that transparent?" she asked. He just gave her a soft smile.

"We don't have to do anything," he said. "I just thought I'd show you my place." She met his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah," she said. "Let's go."

Dean smiled, and the light turned green, so he drove forward. The rest of the drive didn't take very long, but Alice was astonished when they pulled up to one of the nicest apartment complexes in Topeka. She shouldn't have been. Like Hannah said, Dean was full of surprises. They pulled into a parking garage, and Dean jogged around to open her door for her. They walked through the garage and got to the lobby of the complex. She felt out of place and found herself squeezing Dean's hand a little tighter. He let go of her hand to put his arm around her waist and pull her close to his side.

"Good evening Mr. Winchester," the man at the front desk said, giving Dean a smile.

"Evening, Derek," Dean said back. "How's the wife?"

"She's good," he said. "Thanks for asking." Dean just smiled, and he and Alice got into the elevator.

"You own this place too?" she asked. Part of her was joking, but most of her was serious. Dean didn't say anything, just pressed the button that would lead to the penthouse. The elevator doors opened, and Alice's jaw dropped. The great room was gorgeous with white walls and floor to ceiling windows that led out to the terrace. Dean put his hand on her back and led her into the apartment. Out the window, she could see all of Topeka, the city lights sparkling in the night. She hadn't even realized she had walked over to the terrace until she felt the cool night breeze on her face.

Dean walked over to her and stood behind her, putting his arms on the railing on either side of her. He brushed her hair over her shoulder and kissed her neck. "It's beautiful here," she whispered. Dean hummed.

"I like it," he muttered. She turned her head to look at him, and his eyes quickly darted to her lips. She smiled and kissed him, resting her hand on his cheek while one of his hands moved to her waist.

They moved back inside, and Dean gave her a brief tour of the apartment. When they got into the bedroom, she kicked her shoes off and turned to look at Dean. "You mind if I go use the bathroom?" she asked. "I wanna wash my face and stuff."

"Sure," Dean said. "Just around the corner." She nodded and left the room. In the bathroom, she looked at the stuff on Dean's counter and tried to figure out the least painful and most effective way to scrub off her makeup. Using one of his towels -white towels- would stain them and probably do a bit of damage to her skin from excessive scrubbing. He didn't have any face wash, so she had to settle for scrubbing the bar soap on her hands to move to her face. The mascara was a pain, but she managed. She tugged her hair up into a ponytail and left the bathroom.

"Dean?" she asked. He was sitting on the bed on his phone, but he looked up at her instantly. "Do you have anything I can wear to bed? This isn't exactly comfortable for sleeping." He chuckled and nodded, standing up from the bed and going over to his drawers. He pulled out a t-shirt and handed it to her. She thanked him softly and walked to the bathroom to change again.

Dean thought it was somewhat funny that she couldn't change in front of him. He had already seen her without a shirt, and it wasn't like she'd be naked. Still, he didn't say anything about it. She came back out of the bathroom with her clothes in her hand and laid them on the ground. His shirt -a grey Led Zeppelin tee- fell to her thighs. She tugged it awkwardly, and Dean smiled. "You want some shorts or something?" he asked. She shook her head no and walked over to the bed. Dean had already turned down the covers and stripped to his boxers and a t-shirt.

"So," she said, clearing her throat nervously, "this is the kind of music you listen to?" She said, motioning to her shirt. Dean chuckled and nodded.

"Grew up on rock," he said. "Kind of never listened to anything else."

"So I guess my music isn't your cup of tea," she said.

He smiled. "I can get used to it."

She smiled and kissed him softly. When they pulled away, she laid down and snuggled under the covers. "Wow," she breathed out, sinking into the mattress. "This is better than any bed I've ever slept on." Dean smiled as she snuggled up to him, wrapping her arm around his stomach. "I think your room might be bigger than my whole apartment," she said. Her voice was getting quieter, and he could tell she was tired. He kissed the top of her head. "Doesn't it get lonely? Being in this big place all by yourself?" Dean shrugged.

"Sometimes," he said, "but not really."

"Hm," she hummed. "I'd get lonely." Dean was quiet, and his fingers trailed up and down her arm that was around his stomach. Soon enough, her breaths slowed, and Dean knew she was asleep. For whatever reason, he had a hard time crashing. Alice's words kept floating around his brain. He didn't get lonely much, that was true. Then again, he wasn't home that much. Most of his time was spent at the bunker or on a job or out with his family. When he was home, it was just to go to bed. Sure, some nights were lonelier than others, but those were the nights he would call someone to, well, keep him company he could say.

Dean noticed her shiver and pulled the covers farther up her arms. She sighed and snuggled closer to him. Feeling her body heat next to him and her grip tighten on his torso made him relax. He hadn't even known he was tense until she made him aware. In just a few moments, he too was asleep.

Alice needed to be at school at 7:00 on Monday, so she was lucky her internal alarm clock woke her up at 5:00. She had migrated to the other side of the bed over the night, so she rolled over to look at Dean. He was laying on his stomach with his arms under the pillow. His lips were slightly parted, and his eyelashes were resting gently on his cheeks. She realized then how long his eyelashes really were. Was a man allowed to be this beautiful? She really didn't think so.

She got out of bed as slowly as she could, hoping she wouldn't wake Dean up. "Mm," he grumbled, reaching his arm out. "Running out on me?"

"You're a light sleeper," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. His eyes were still closed as he groaned softly.

"'M always on edge," he mumbled. He propped himself up on his elbows as he blinked his eyes awake. "How were you gonna get home?"

She shrugged. "I was just gonna call an Uber." Dean scoffed and sat up.

"Come on," he said. "I'll give you a ride."

"No, no," she said quickly. "It's barely 5:00."

"Mm, then I've already slept too long," he said, a smile growing on his face. She rolled her eyes and got out of bed, tugging her shorts back up her legs. She slid her shoes on just as Dean pulled on some sweats. They walked through the apartment and headed to the elevator, both a little too sleepy to make good conversation. In the car, Dean pushed a cassette in and played it at a dull hum.

"I know this song," she said, reaching forward to turn the nob up a bit. "Only God knows where I've been. I'm a devil on the run. A six gun lover, a candle in the wind." Dean looked at her with raised eyebrows. "My dads always play the classic rock station at the shop." She was quiet until the chorus hit: "I'm going out in a blaze of glory. Take me now but know the truth. I'm going out in a blaze of glory." Dean chuckled, amused, and she shrugged with a smile. "I can get used to your music too."

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