#i am very amused by that honestly
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adozentothedawn · 1 year ago
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Okay so the Atla timeline for the Fire Nation is a bit knotted up huh
We have Fire Lord Sozin starting the 100 year war when he’s this old: (technically even older cause this was when Roku died, but it's close enough for this purpose. He old is the point.)
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The wiki tells me he was 82 at that point,yeah, makes sense. He rules for 20 years longer according to the wiki, which sure, I can deal with that, strong benders live long, whatever. However. We then have Azulon which is where it gets weird, because the show explicitely states he rules for 23 years. That is a direct citation from the funeral flashback in Zuko Alone. 23 years. We definitely know when he died though, namely 5 years before Zuko was banished, so in the year 95 (techincally 94? The wiki says 95 and it doesn’t matter for this discussion so I’ll just roll with it). That means he started his reign in the year 72 a whole 52 years after his father died. I have questions. Now, the wiki completely ignores the 23 years line and I cannot blame them for it cause it doesn’t make sense. It also claims that Azulon was 95 when he died, which. That would make his father 82 when he was born. Guy must have had some real virility, damn. Now we don’t have a birth year for Ozai, but Ursa was born in 63, and they seem to be around the same age so if we roll with that Azulon would have also been old when Ozai was born but it would be at least slightly less insane. Now, having a child at 82 is not technically impossible for a guy, so the only thing that is just plain wrong is the 23 years line, but it is unlikely. I guess that family just has a thing for getting children when they’re old. 
However, to my amusement, that 23 years line isn’t the only thing they kinda tried to retcon. Here we have a young Azulon training as his father watches: (Although I am unable to cite from where that picture originates, the wiki doesn’t source its pictures very well and I don’t recognize the watermark. I am assuming its from one of the lore books but if the wiki is just lying and this isn’t official feel free to correct me)
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So this is probably like year 12 to 15, right? It seems Mr Sozin Fire Lord is Benjamin Button aging up there. xD Either that or in his old age he got vain and started dying his hair.
Yeah so anyway, the only actually impossible thing is the 23 years line, the other stuff I just think is funny. We have two options to fix the inconsistencies: 
Option #1: We add another Fire Lord before Azulon. It’s smoother but quite a bit of work to justify in canon if you’re not already ham for rewriting a bunch of lore. 
Option #2: We just yeet out the 23 years line as the fire sage got high off herbs or something and was talking bullshit. Definitely the easier option and it’s not unreasonable that Azulon ruled for 75 years. Also I think that option opens up a lot of interesting lore debates, because while Sozin started the war, Azulon kept it going for 75 years. That’s almost 4 times the length Sozin ruled in the war. It’s basically just that guy’s war at this point. Sozin is interesting as a character and I liked that episode about him, don’t get me wrong but Azulon ruled for 3/4s of the whole war and we get basically nothing about him, which I find a little disappointing. Although since that was a bit of retcon I suppose it makes sense. 
Alright, rant over, summary: the show had a line that makes no sense and also Zuko better keep using protection if he still has hookups in Legend of Korra. 
Edit: actually this is even wilder cause I calculated wrong. The war started 12 years after Roku died, so Sozin only ruled for 8 years during the war and Azulon for 86.
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percypaints · 4 months ago
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Trump survived. Here's what will happen.
Every media, news outlet will be showing this photo. Not of a convicted felon who was impeached, who summoned violent terrorists to the white house, who sexually assaulted many women, but of a survivor, a hero.
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And Trump will win 2024. The Alt Right and his MAGA supporters will see this and be more motivated than ever to vote Trump. Centrists will see this and think "the left is so much more extreme than the right" and vote Trump. Fuck, even liberals, after seeing Bidens disastrous debate performance might vote trump. In their eyes, he's a survivor now, he's strong now, he's worthy now. If you don't believe me, wait and see the top comments of news articles, the Reddit posts, the twitter quote tweets.
It isn't if Trump wins, it's when Trump wins, Ukraine is Fucked. Palestine is extra Fucked. And of course, America is absolutely Fucked.
I don't like Biden, but Americans have to remember: you live in a two-party system.
It is Biden or Trump.
And I'd much much rather an old husk of a man that has done so much good for trans rights, social policies, and human rights in general, than Trump. Yes, Biden has sent aids to Israel. Do you think Trump won't do the same? Do you think Trump won't do worse?
"Vote for a third party, they're both awful" you might say. Come on, be realistic. This is about holding the line against fascism. It is going to be way WAY easier to change the system when you're up against milk toast Joe than an actual dictator. So,
For the love of god, vote Biden in Novermber.
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chobani-flip · 6 months ago
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totally real, leaked script from ep10
fade in - int. Henren's house - evening
At the familiar kitchen table sit Hen and Buck and several wine bottles. Not all of them are empty. None of them are full. Hen and Buck passed tipsy some times ago.
Buck: you know, i just wanna wanna start singing sometimes you know?
Hen: awwww, our buckaroo finally found the secret to happiness? Buck (nodding seriously): in to- in tommy Hen (interrupts): 'sssss pantsssss! Buck (starts giggling and singing very off-key): i blew a boy and i liked it... (hiccups) i really really really really like his flight suit. and his legs. in shorts. he has 'em.. my boyfriend... tommy... has a gym in his garage, you know, hen. and a garage to repair cars. and a croptop. it's white. I really really really really...
Hen cheers and tops up his glass. Buck keeps reapeating his "realies" until suddenly he stops, and frowns.
Buck: henrietta- Hen: do NOT call m- Buck: hen-hen-hen-hen, i don't feel so good. Hen (concern breaking through the fog): buckaroo, what is it? Buck (puzzled): my stomach? Hen: you feel sick? Buck: AM I PREN-GANT!?
Hen stares at him, then screams with laughter. Buck shakes his head a little, then hides his face in his hands.
Hen: you had a really good time in the cockpit, huh? Buck (shaking his head): too many buttons. Hen: ...uh-huh. Buck: there's buttons on the ja- jacuzzi - tommy has- Hen (finishes along with him): -a jacuzzi in the garage. Buck: but only three. (pauses) hen, how long does jizz survive in a really nice jacuzzi?!
Hen flicks him in the forehead. Buck whines, swats at her hand and then starts giggling to himself. Hen rolls her eyes, rests them a little as she takes a sip from her bottle. When she opens them again, she sees that Buck has his phone in his hand and is smiling pathetically at a frankly terrible picture of Tommy. Hen snorts.
Hen (mumbling into the bottle): i should call his babydaddy to come pick him up.
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victorluvsalice · 8 months ago
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-->And then – party time! Smiler’s guests began arriving, starting with Cameron Fletcher and Myra Basu – I put them in Smiler’s group and had them follow them upstairs to keep them out of the way while Victor continued his clean-up. A clean-up made a little more difficult by the next guests to arrive – Brian Pimental (aka the local NAP inspector) was no issue, but Cletus ForgotHisLastName decided to kick over the trash can outside the house before I could get him into the group and direct him upstairs to start dancing to the radio! Hmph! Well, Victor got rummaging as I wrangled the guests –
-->But oh, what was this? A notification that Alice had gotten to Fitness Level 8 on her jog with Shadow, thus completing an aspirational milestone (in fact, straight-up completing the ASPIRATION – Alice now has the “Professorial” trait from Renaissance Sim and can write her own skill books!) and thus her New Year’s Resolution! :D That brought the trio as a whole to two out of three completed! Granted, I didn’t manage to get a shot of Alice actually celebrating completing her resolution because her jog with Shadow was being glitchy (Shadow was doing that thing again where dogs just run ahead for miles and miles in a straight line heedless of obstacles, and Alice kept switching outfits because the game WANTED to put her in her “White Rabbit” party outfit, but she wasn’t technically AT the party, she was in the middle of a jog, so she eventually ended up in just her regular blue Alice dress once I managed to cancel the jog), but I did get a shot of her looking pretty smug in her White Rabbit dress jogging along with Shadow, so I think that’ll do. XD
-->Okay, so Victor and Alice were all set with their New Year’s resolutions – that just left Smiler’s to complete, and that meant throwing a good party! I managed to get Smiler and all their guests up in the party barn area, dancing to the radio, then had Smiler unleash their Party Time party-bot for some extra party vibes. :D They then tried chatting with Cameron (who was not interested in hearing about lycanthropy, it seems) while Victor, done rummaging through the trash, reset the trash can and headed up to the barn to get a chocolate cupcake from Party Time, while Alice and Shadow arrived home, and Alice changed into one of her other party dresses to join the fun.
Leaving her standing in a pile of discarded clothes. Whoops – looks like the family left the laundry for a little too long! XD I resolved not to think about it for the time being and sent her to go join the dancing as Smiler let off a burst of happiness to ensure all their guests were in good moods (like YOU, Cletus) –
-->And then Myra and Cameron wandered off, and local townie Roxanne (who the game has decided is the Valicer farmhouse’s “neighbor”) showed up saying she’d brought a present! Curious, I had Smiler go over to invite her in (bringing some of their guests with them) – things were made a little more complicated by the appearance of specters at the front door, which seemed to temporarily break the whole “handing over the gift” interaction, but she eventually gave Smiler her present – an apple! Which, okay, we have plenty of those, but it’s the thought that counts. XD Smiler accepted it with good grace, and the two became good friends, aww. I was ready to have Smiler chat her up in hopes of getting some plasma off her too –
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chronicowboy · 2 years ago
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I LOVE YOU!!!! ON PURPOSE!!!!! i’m going to need 10 business days to recover from that line 🥲😭
so glad to continually be causing my readers emotional devastation, one of the greatest pleasures in life
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savrenim · 2 years ago
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BNHA fandom thank you for coming OUT and saving me
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dazais-crab-addiction · 2 years ago
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Happy Valentine’s Day! He brought you a bear that will detonate in 5..4..3..2..
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Gdlajdkahd, breadsoup you are amazing. Thank you. Being blown up by a Valentines bear has been a 10/10 experience :D
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jjkyaoi · 2 years ago
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i personally believe that, in my delusions will graham and freddie lounds are best friends ignore the biting and scratching and pulling of the hair that’s their love language
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justafoxhound · 3 months ago
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Just look at the torturous games I have on my laptop
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indefiniteavatar · 7 months ago
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So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.
I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.
#maybe that’s my biggest pet peeve about the current state of politics#Normally I like having discussions with people#of various mindsets and lifestyles and backgrounds#while my personal standpoint about many if not most political things is pretty solid. I also enjoy finding out more about things.#It’s always nice to learn more about things.#when it gets to a point like this or let’s be real-a point like where it got a few months ago when. More like a couple years ago honestly#There’s just so much. Too much. And two try to process all of it especially in a way such that one keeps up with useful discussion? oof.#I know I meant to do something else in these tags – something more specific – but at least on mobile#I just lost like three tags because the one I was working on hit 140 but when I was warned#I didn’t get to backspace or anything. I just kind of deleted the whole thing.#And in my confusion and attempt to undo what I had done#I managed to backspace a couple times and lose the finish tag above that one#and of course my first attempt at explaining that I had lost two tags turned into three tags because#I lost the first attempts that said two tags because it went over and yet again my attempt of not backspace this time#I just lost another two tags and then at this point I don’t even remember where I was going with this train of thought either#tl;dr: I wish I could take as much amusement from this as I want to but I can’t because shit like this is just so fucking normal#but hey it’s better than January 6 or trying to nuke a hurricane so I suppose I can live with it#right so I realize that I got to read all of the things I just typed in the page before this#so I did and while I have a laughable amount of nowhere near the fuck enough spoons#there’s a very good chance I am going to come back to this when I get on my iPad or PC#There’s also a very good chance I’m going to completely forget this post exists if not the app entirely#but given that I finally downloaded this on my actual phone instead of my tablet for the first time in years#And I just lost another fucking tag#this time naturally it had to be one with Contant that I remember as semantically important#but similarly naturally of course I don’t bloody well remember#right so I am going to go back to the stuff I was doing now cause I was doing stuff before I saw a Tumblr notification#which I didn’t actually look at at the time but but I can absolutely be sure that it was a hefty part of the reason why#when I found something that I wanted to post about and a context that had a larger audience and not just individuals#didn’t have FB/Reddit (tho lbr I would probably have a 6 foot nose if I tried to imply they were great social networks)#which goes back to seeing the tumblr notif & still having a big Nostalgia so. hi here i am
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jamesandanthony · 9 months ago
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I love how the rsc haven't even tried to market this except as 'mat baynton's in it!'
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 1 year ago
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i have to confess. i am enjoying seeing juanjo martin and álvaro's situationship develop.
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krysmcscience · 25 days ago
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At long last: either an alternate explanation for or continuation of my prior comic regarding how Bill was ABSOLUTELY naked in Ford's karaoke night drawing. (Because errors in art do not exist. Artists do not make mistakes. So if you see any in this comic, No You Do Not.)
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I am so normal about these old dorks.
I'm not really clear on exactly when Bill started throwing his desperation book at Ford just like a needy ex do, but I find it extremely funny to imagine it happening literally the day of or after the makeshift funeral. Bill just gets this weird sense of 'Ford is taking steps to move on' and CANNOT FUCKING ABIDE.
I hope you enjoy all the goofy things I added to each page of Bill's sad spieling. (Everything SHOULD be readable so long as you view the full size, but I have added basically this whole little fanfic in the image descriptions, LMAO, which lays out all the little written notes and such.) Also don't ask how Bill managed to sneak that vampire pen in there. I have no idea, and honestly? I don't wanna know.
Oh, and a little bonus comic:
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Of course Bill would take it as flirting. Because between the two of them, Bill is the bigger masochist By Far. :)
Also I have continued applying The Good Place logic to any of Bill's attempts to swear. Case in point, one last bonus image, this time with a motivational line from my slapdash Theraprism OC, EV-01:
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Yes, its name is just 'love' backwards. No, I will not be taking any feedback on this. Yes, EV-01 was only ever assigned to Bill's case due to the Theraprism being desperate to make some progress in rehabilitating him. No, it did not work anywhere close to staff's expectations - Bill didn't even appreciate EV-01's matching fondness for bowties! (He claimed the fondness to be "cultural appropriation" and insisted he'd been traumatized by it.)
Anyway, if you like my stuff, reblogs are very much appreciated, and if you really really like it, perhaps consider my commissions or yeeting a teeny tiny tip my way? I am trying to recoup over 500 dollars in vet bills, ahaha... 🙃
In other news, I loved all the fun tags people added to the prior naked-karaoke comic (such as 'the hat and bow-tie stay ON during sex' and the classic '[insert keysmash here]', as well as the many amused/bewildered remarks about how I either made the bricks a piece of clothing or just straight up peeled Bill's skin off). However, I think my favorite thing by far was the several people losing their shit over the fact that I gave Bill toes. Like, excuse me? The magical talking triangle can have fingers but not toes??? Since when was that a rule????? 🤣 (Also the one person who reblogged with the cropped panel where Bill's fishnets pants are falling off to ask why Bill peed himself. Dude, I want to examine your brain...?)
Okie-dokie, I'm sick of looking at all of this stuff now and I'm off to go to work, after which I will either scribble some more goofy "Billford" comics or perhaps draw my lame human!Bill in Situations, idk yet. Maybe I'll even finally draw more than just a single other person's human!Bill...? Who knows, but I sure hope I can mix it up a little and not turn whatever I draw into a month-long fukken project. >:\
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infictionalwonderland · 6 months ago
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I NEED PART TWO OF THE MARVEL CAST FLIRTING WITH Y/N L/N!
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. . . MARVEL CAST FLIRTING WITH Y/N Y/L/N FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT! (part2)
You cackled to yourself after sending the message into your groupchat, quickly returning to the video and beginning to play it again, occasional bursts of giggles slipping through your lips.
Resuming your place in the video—the first clip that began playing was actually from not that long ago at all. It was You, Kat Dennings, Elizabeth Olsen and Zendaya at Taylor Swifts Eras Tour (an experience you would genuinely never forget). Taylor was playing Lover and, in the clip, Kat had your face in one hand and the other wrapped around your waist, bringing you close to her body.
“Lover, can I go where you go—“ Kat sang with Taylor, singing all the lyrics to you and grinning at you, faces inches away from each other. “—Can we always be this close.” She punctuated this lyric with giving you an eskimo kiss.
You smiled sincerely at the memory.
The next clip began up, it was you and Chris Evans doing Playground Insults with BBC Radio 1: the two of you were sat opposite each other, knees touching, Chris was grinning goofily at you, giddy laughs escaping him as you tried to remain straight faced.
“—we’re here with Chris Evans and Y/N Y/L/N.” The presenters introduced.
“And we’re about to play Playground Insults . . Now Chris and Y/N are sat opposite each other,” the camera cut to you and Chris, him smiling largely and you looking away to contain your own, “the atmosphere is very tense.”
“We’ve done this quite a few times now but im thinking.. this is the biggest movie of the year, let’s make this the biggest playground insults we’ve ever done.”
“Yep.” Chris nodded, trying not to laugh.
“Chris, hun. . you’re ugly. Like, plain ugly.” You nodded seriously, immediately setting off as you feigned a pained wince to the words. “Everyone’s been talking about it. . just, you’re so atrocious to look at. Honestly, I almost feel arse over tits in horror when I saw you.”
Chris opened his mouth to say something but then faltered and pouted, “no matter how good of an actor I am, I could never even get those words out my mouth about you and make them sound genuine. Seriously.”
The third clip started—it was Chris Hemsworth on a carpet, a bold colourful question at the bottom said ‘WHO HAS THE MOST FANS?’. Chris immediately said, “Y/n.” In that deep Australian accent of his. “Not that I blame the people from choosing her to be the people’s queen, she is truly one of a kind. You’ll only ever meet one Y/n in your lifetime, cherish it. The fans have the right idea.”
It changed to Scarlett with the same colourful question at screen and at the same carpet event: “Oh, Yeah. Y/n, one hundred percent.” She chuckled huskily. “That woman has fans upon fans and seriously, I’m one of them. She is something else.” She grinned, winking at the camera.
After Scarlett, Paul Rudd came onto your screen in the very same clip. “Oh! The legend herself, Y/N Y/L/N.” Paul answered brightly, smiling. “The amount of fans she has is unbelievable—well, it’s definitely believable for someone like her, so, not really unbelievable..”
The forth clip began—it was you all playing Family Feud with Jimmy Kimmel, on his live show. Sebastian and RDJ were currently facing off; Jimmy posed the question “what, other than the sun, are some of the hottest things to exist?”
Sebastian got to the buzzer faster than Robert managed to and didn’t even falter or hesitate as he answered straight away, “Y/N Y/L/N.”
The audience immediately screamed laughed and shrieked in delight, RDJ just nodded his head in understanding and appreciation, clapping his hands. Chris Evans, Mark and Anthony on the other side all looked amused but ultimately accepting (Chris was nodding along almost subconsciously). You were on the other team, looking heavenward with a faint exasperated grin and Scarlet wrapped her arm around your waist, Chris Hemsworth smirking at you both.
The fifth clip started up: it was a behind the scenes shot from Endgame, the big final battle. You were currently in the middle of doing your own stunt, green screen behind you and harnesses strapped to you as you dangled at a halfway point in the air. Your arms and hands were positioned in such a way to show your character manipulating her powers—the position also very much enhanced your chest, with the added help of your superhero attire. You looked hot, even you could admit.
The camera mirthfully panned to some of the rest of the cast who all stood aside while you filmed your scene—said cast being Chris Evans, Tom Holland, Gwyneth Paltrow, RDJ, Elizabeth Olsen and Tessa Thompson. All of their eyes were fixated on you, Robert was the only one grinning in amusement (and awe) while all the others stared at you as though you hung the sun yourself.
“Boobies.” Lizzie giggled faintly, her eyes stuck. The rest of the cast watching dumbly nodded while the crew cracked up behind the cameras.
And if you screenshotted their dumbfounded faces looking ip at on screen you. . well that was your business.
The clip changed. It was now Karen Gillan being interviewed on some carpet event, looking genuinely breathtaking. The interviewer was asking, “—obviously, your friend and co-star Y/N Y/L/N has been in lots of iconic movies. . what is your favourite scene of hers in The Wolf of Wall Street?”
Karen paused with a cheeky little smile, giving the interviewer a a jokingly incredulous look. “Come on.” She simply said. “It’s a bloody no brainer, I’m certain it was Leonardo’s favourite scene too. . I hope it is anyway otherwise he’s a silly, silly man.”
At the same carpet event with the same interviewer, Chris Hemsworth was being interviewed—his wife, Elsa, on his arm and looking half ready to battle off any rude interviewers (queen).
“—what is your favourite scene of hers in Ocean’s 8?”
“All of them!” Elsa answered eagerly, grinning. “Her outfits really accentuated her personality and I enjoyed them very much so. Particularly her outfit for the gala. . the amount of accentuated personality, by gosh, it had me speechless.”
Chris turned her head, obviously trying not to laugh at his wife.
“Nunca he estado más celoso y agradecido por la ropa en mi vida.” Elsa hummed.
You blinked.
The clip changed to you, Sebastian, Lizzie, Paul, Jeremy and Jimmy all on his Tonight Show playing Musical Beers. The slightly unnerving music/beat played in the background while you all stalked around the circle, Paul and Jeremy already out—leaving you, Seb, Lizzie and Jimmy.
As you were all racing around the circular table, Lizzie very obviously swatted your ass and you were impressed with your own body as you watched that impact: the audience erupted into laughs and shrieks, Jimmy playfully covering his eyes as Seb smirked. You thought that would be the end of the clip, but no.
The very disco-esk tune briefly cut out and past time you thought that meant it stopped completely and you’d already reached for the red cup in front of you and chugged it’s contents, only to pause as the music began back up.
“Spit it back! Spit it back!”
You did just that—but when the music actually stopped and Seb was left standing in front of the cup with your (let’s not go there) in it, your mouth popped open in shock. Jeremy gladly backed away from the table in hysterics, Lizzie and Jimmy equally as amused.
“Oh my god, I am—“
Sebastian quickly downed the cup with. . those contents, not even looking all that perturbed.
“So sorry.” You finished, mouth agape.
You vaguely remembered a conversation you’d had with him after the show, sincerely and repeatedly apologising and he was just very, very amused with you. He didn’t seem to mind at all—what an odd man.
“It’s all good.” Sebastian chuckled lowly, wrapping the mortified looking past you in a one armed shoulder hug and squeezing you to him. Lizzie seemed to be trying to trade a very obvious eye message with you—the audience shrieked and screamed in the background.
Another clip began: its was you and Scarlett Johansson doing a trust fall thing, you thought (correctly).
“Scarlett I swear. .” You giggled, looking over your shoulder at the woman behind you—she grinned back at you amusedly, her eyes twinkling.
“Calm down.” She laughed herself. “I’ll catch you don’t worry, gorgeous.”
Still slightly overcome with nervous giggles, you turned and let out a breath as you shut your eyes before holding at your arms and falling back.
And catch you she definitely did—although her hands didn’t exactly land in a PG-13 area, you cackled as you watched her hands grope at your chest to pull you up. In the video, you were also wheezing as were the crew and Scarlett had a cheeky little smirk as she laughed.
When you were finally standing, she gave one last squeeze before finally letting go—on screen you was breathless with giggles.
“Always wanted to do that.” She shrugged simply with a large amused smile.
The next clip began—it was Zendaya and Tom Holland on LADBible, playing that how much do you agree or not game. The statement said was ‘Y/N Y/L/N is everyone‘s celebrity crush’.
Instantly, Tom and Zendaya moved their cups to strongly agree, both of them nodding in solid agreement with the statement: presently, you awed at your friends, ego very much boosted. Well. To be fair, all of this video was massively boosting your ego.
“I mean, come on.” Zendaya made a ‘duh’ face and shrugged her shoulders.
“It’s Y/N.” Tom smiled crookedly, adding onto her comment.
“I am so happy I get to now say that she’s one of my closest friends.” Zendaya beamed genuinely. “She’s—one of those people whose beauty isn’t just an external thing, she’s so lovely man.” She pouted, in awe of you.
Watching the video, you beamed back at her.
The clip changed: Mark Ruffalo was on the Graham Norton show, next to Nicki Minaj and an actor you couldn’t place.
“Who would you say your favourite co-star has ever been, Mark?” Graham inquired.
“I—i would probably have to go with Y/N—“ The crowd instantly erupted into cheers and yells and Nicki smiled next to him, stating that she loved you under the sound of cheering. Mark grinned back at her, mumbling ‘me too’.
“Yeah, she’s a hell of an actress, that one. So easy to work with. Funny as f—hell, she’s just—an extremely genuine and kind person, and she really brings the energy on set.” Mark grinned. “..she’s also the only free pass my wife has ever given me. Which I won’t be using! Because I don’t believe in cheating, it’s scummy! Even though she’s gorgeous—anyone would be lucky!” He had to rise to a shout at the end as the audience erupted.
Nicki giggled next to him, “me personally, I would use that pass.”
You gasped in laughter as you watched the screen, screen-recording it all so you could go back and watch it. Saving it to your folder titled PISSING MY PANTS HRLP
The clip changed yet again, showing a scene from the Winter Solider BTS. You and Sebastian were filming a scene where he had to shoot your character—you watched the ‘Winter Solider’ shoot your character multiple times making you go down with an agonised yell, crawling away from him.
As soon as CUT was yelled, Sebastian’s face dropped from his stone cold (wintery) expression and he raced to you, crouching next to you. He practically tugged you into his lap on the floor, holding you.
“Oh my fuck that—that just felt so real, Y/n. You know I would never hurt you right?” He asked, blinking repeatedly before a small smirk fell on his lips. “You’re way too pretty to injure doll. Can’t ruin your perfect face.”
On screen you huffed in mock anger, hiding an amused grin as you shoved at him—he still held you close to him though, so both of you fell backwards and burst into giggles.
You literally thought ‘I ship them’ as you watched the clip of Sebastian and yourself, forgetting that was you for a moment.
Another clip started up—another behind the scenes. It was you and Tom Hiddleston in Thor : Ragnarok. In the scene Loki was tied down to the chair and your character was meant to intimidate him—you watched yourself take out your character’s daggers and lean forward into his space. One leg leaned up on top of the arm of the chair, sliding one dagger just a hair above the skin of his neck while using the over the move his chin up to be angled to you as you mockingly smiled down at him.
You said your line as your character but Tom remained silent, mouth parted and eyes widened as he gazed up at you—speech failing him. (You knew that they actually decided to include this awestruck look in the movie—the amount of fucking edits you’d seen was unreal).
Eyebrows crinkling you nudged your knee into his chest and he snapped out of it, grabbing your knee in a gentle grip. “Sorry darling, words sometimes seem to fail me in your presence.” He muttered rather hoarsely, still staring up at you.
“I don’t fucking blame him.” Tessa Thompson murmured from behind you both, and the camera moved to show her staring at you in a similar awe.
Present time, you could barely hide your smirk. Literally the biggest ego boost. Of all time.
Again, the clip changed and it was now Natalie Portman looking gorgeous on a carpet event, being interviewed—“if you could have Jane explore another romance than Thor, who would it be and why?”
“Y/N!” Natalia enthused immediately. “Well—her character, but like. Both. Either. One for me, one for Jane. That—would be great. And why? Come on! She’s an absolutely beautiful woman, inside and out. She has this outward glow that you literally cannot and don’t want to look away from and that reflects so much in her personality—once you’ve interacted with her one time, you never want to stop. Ever. I’m not kidding.” She giggled.
Another clip started up quickly—a blooper of you and Chris Evans. In this scene, your characters were meant to kiss after an angsty, angry argument. You stormed into the frame, into the bedroom, completely in character—an angry expression on and ready to go at Steve.
Before you could even let out a single syllable to begin your lines, Chris immediately surged forward and took your face in his hands, kissing the living daylights out of you.
You both pulled back after a bit and you just started at him, questioningly (that kiss was probably one of your best ever, let it be known, Chris Evans was a fantastic kisser).
“I—I thought It’d be good for the scene. .” Chris trailed off bashfully, scratching the base of his neck, literally pulling the excuse out of his arse. In actuality, he hadn’t wanted to spare a moment of the scene where he could be kissing you, well, not doing so.
“Bull!” Scarlett exclaimed as she materialised in the doorway. “He just wanted to kiss you.” She told you, pointedly looking at the man.
“Yeah—i—“ He huffed a defeated sigh, pink-cheeked. “I’ve got nothing. She’s right.”
In hindsight, you thought to yourself, you should probably stop being so shocked when the fanbase starts shipping you with your costars.
The clip changed: now it was you, Elizabeth and Aaron on a carpet event together—all being interviewed at the same time.
“So, Y/n, how does it feel to be in a Maximoff twin sandwich right now?” The interviewer giggled happily, smiling.
Before you could open you’re mouth—“we’re really enjoying it.” Lizzie and Aaron replied at the same time.
The interview gaped and you simply rolled your eyes as the two smirked at either side of you, they’d been talking in sync ever since you’d first met them at the table reading.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t why?” Aaron grinned crookedly. “A beautiful, lovely woman in between us. Honestly, love, there’s not a thought in my head besides you.” He joked, throwing an arm over your shoulder.
“I completely support that.” Lizzie chirped in, “ever since I’ve met this gorgeous lady who i now acknowledge as my partner in everything—she’s taken up all of the room in my brain, and I couldn’t be happier.” She giggled, putting her arm around your waist.
In the middle of them both, with an arm over your shoulder and one around your waist—you simply sighed, sparing the giddy interviewer an exaggerated suffering expression.
Again, the clip switched—it was now another blooper of you in the Iron Man movie, the scene where you handed Tony’s arse to him in the boxing ring. Instead of acting as scripted, Gwen Paltrow got up from her seat and strode over to the boxing ring, stepping inside gracefully and planting one right on your lips.
Presently, you giggled as you thought back to this moment. Gwen was your impulsive queen. Your idol.
From the floor, RDJ squawked in shock, exclaiming about being cheated and betrayed and Gwen flung her stiletto off her foot at him without moving from your lips.
When she finally did, she simply smiled at you kindly, “you just looked so good that I couldn’t not kiss you, sweets.” She shrugged and you, on screen, laughed at her as you leaned back in to kiss her cheek.
(Unfortunately the scene was not included in the movie—but Gwen never wasted an opportunity to talk about it, and you, if the chance arose).
The clip moved onto another one—back to the Thor : Ragnarok movie, you and Heimdall were fighting together, however you missed a step in your stunt and ended up stumbling. Idris immediately caught you with a steady arm around your waist, full you to him so you could stabilise yourself.
You smiled up at him thankfully, squeezing his arm in gratitude (totally not because you’d just wanted to feel his bicep).
You watched as your on screen self get distracted again and Idris murmured to Tom who’d now appeared next to him, “I feel like it’s dishonourable how much I want her to fall so I can catch her again now.”
“Mate, trust me,” Tom laughed, “I completely understand. But she doesn’t need the rescuing.”
“That she does not.” Both men smiled fondly as they watched you.
Presently, you were actively refusing to blush.
A different clip started up—Florence Pugh was being interviewed, looking breathtaking in her green dress. “—did you take anything from set?” The interviewer was asking, smiling at Florence.
“Um—not much, just Y/n’s heart.” Florence immediately cracked up at her own joke, smiling widely. “And her underwear too.” She added.
The interviewer opened her mouth to say something more, giggling at Florence as she continued speaking: “and before you ask, no. I wouldn’t be selling, for any price. Finders keepers and all that shite—plus, she’s my girl, so. That rule applies even more so. No one else can take her heart. Or her pants.”
Watching your friend, you giggled at her cheesy smile at her words before getting distracted by your group chat, where multiple of your friends and co-starts had seen your message and were now responding. Your laughter increased tenfold as you opened the thread.
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flootzavut · 1 year ago
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The way I do not put this past them 🤭
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I really wonder if season 4 will start with “oh no, Geralt got hurt so bad that the dryads had to change him into Liam Hemsworth to cure him”
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wysteria-bloom · 6 months ago
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↪" you amaze me "
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Bg3 x reader
Giving them a surprise kiss
Warnings : suggestive on Halsin's part... Spoilers for bg3 (duh).
Genre : fluff
A/n : I have 367 hours in this game so I believe that I am worthy enough to write for these characters I love so very much. I am extremely open to requests for bg3 please send me all the stuff you want to see! I'm not gonna include minsc and jaehira for obvious reasons.
Characters : halsin, astarion, wyll, gale, gortash, rolan, raphael
▢ astarion
Leans into the kiss almost immediately. Its usually how he responds to any affection coming from you. Rests a gentle hand on your arm as he deepens the kiss with a pleased little smile on his lips.
When you break from the kiss, still has the smile on his lips, his eyes looking down at you softly, " can't get enough of me, darling?" He cooed out teasingly, a giddiness to him that wasn't there a few minutes ago.
You nip his jaw," stop getting cocky. I caught you off-gaurd, admit it."
He gasped in offence," and here I thought my beautiful partner was merely expressing how much they loved me." Shaking his head at you with an exagerrated pout," shame on you."
"... That's a 'yes'." You smirked.
"Oh shut up," pulls you into another kiss full of laughter.
▢ gale
Blinks for a good 5 seconds before finally responding to the kiss in full, hand curling through your hair to cup the back of your head. A wistful sigh blows through his nose as he leans into the kiss more.
When you pull away, he still holds your head. You smile happily at him," Hello, love." You greet cutely.
Sends you a bashful little smile, pressing his forehead to yours," Well... hello to you too."
"Were you surprised?"
"Oh-hoh?" He grinned with amusement," there was a goal behind all this?"
You tilt your head from side to side," eh... I did have one. But I also just wanted to kiss my handsome husband."
Clears his throat, cheeks warming," Oh, well consider me th..thoroughly surprised, then."
▢ wyll
It only takes him a second to respond to your kiss, cupping both sides of your face so gently and rubbing a thumb across your jawline. A small happy hum falls from his lips as he's kissing you.
When pulling away, his lips chase after yours, giving you a final little peck," You amaze me. Everytime." He breathed out, always has something cheesy to say after every kiss but it never fails to make your heart stutter.
You huff," You're impossible to surprise, yknow? You're too smooth."
He laughs," will it make you feel better if I said you gave me butterflies?"
A hum and then a smile you nodded to him," I believe that's substantial. However, you need to pay for your indiscretions with a kiss."
"Whatever will I do?" Wyll leans down, nose pressing against yours," I have no choice but to give in, hm?"
"No choice." You agreed, hands moving to his waist as he cups your face.
He presses his lips to yours excitedly.
▢ gortash
He's doing some paperwork when you give him a little kiss on the cheek. Not reacting at first, he finished his signature before looking up at you, a softness to his eyes," Can I help you?"
You merely give him an innocent smile," just reminding you that I love you."
He blinks for a moment before he hums, a slow grin reaching his lips," I see.." He places a hand to your hip, rubbing it slowly with a thumb," Well, I fear I need another reminder then, my dear."
"Greedy," You cooed out before pressing a proper kiss to his lips.
▢ raphael
Is certainly shocked for a split second. He was only telling you about a recent poem he had read and enjoyed.
He cups the back of your neck with his clawed hand, deepening the kiss with huff of amusement. Before breaking the kiss he nips at your bottom lip with his sharp teeth," It's rude to interrupt."
You hum, pressing another kiss to his jaw," You're too endearing when you talk about your poems." You reply honestly.
"Oh good, I was afraid I was boring you." No, he wasn't. He knew how engaged you got in his little speils. That was endearing.
"You could never." He drags you into another kiss with a lot more flames stoked beneath it.
▢ halsin
A low hum of surprise and then a slow smile reaches his lips. His large hands rest on your waist as he deepens this kiss, feeling heat build between the two of you the more passionate it grows.
When you pull away from eachother there's a trail of saliva left between your lips. His eyes are a lot darker now, a yellow shine to them," is there something you need, my heart?" He questioned with that low tone of his.
"Just you."
Pins you to a nearby tree and kisses your neck," that I'll give you in abundance."
▢ rolan
Was in the middle of complaining to you about how you put a book in the wrong place. He had that cute little frown on his face, the grouchy furrow to his brows and the agitated swish of his tail.
You just couldn't help yourself. Leaning forwards, you caught his lips with yours, making him shut up completely. He stared down at you with wide eyes before he moans a little and leans into the kiss.
His tail curls around your leg, dragging you closer to him as he leaned back against the bookcase behind him.
When you pulled away for a breath, he still had his eyes closed for a good five seconds.
Looks into your eyes for a moment before he cups your jaw," you can't kiss your way through an argument." He huffs out.
"I just did."
"Did you? What if I'm still mad at you?"
You grinned at him," Your tail says otherwise, love."
He scoffed and tried to frown but his lips kept twitching," You're impossible." Pulls you into a more heated kiss, arms wrapping around you protectively.
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