#i love this series so much still!! i don't think i've ever been this passionately attached to something

[potionbarrel]

there’s still about an hour left of anniversary day, ok! it counts!! hlvrai i love u so much!!! three years!!!

[gotta-winwin]

going seventeen 2020 <> TTT #1

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

word count: 1.5k italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin a/n: one of my fave series in gose ever... ttt! lets all thank @massivecrusadephilosopher2 for requesting this wonderful gose ep <3

Cyana was glad she chose the car with all the chill people. She could only imagine how loud the other cars must be, filled with karaoke loving singers and members who couldn't stop talking. She loved them all to death - but it was way too early in the morning - and she couldn't be happier sitting next to Vernon as Minghao drove.

"I'm in such a good mood today." Minghao announced to everyone as they pulled out of their company driveway. "Although it is a bit burdensome, celebrating my birthday with everyone."

Cyana nudged Vernon. "Nonnie was so excited while packing. I've never seen him so ready to do something."

"It's been awhile since we've all hung out." Vernon reminded them. It was rare for all 14 of them to spend a night together.

She hummed, happy just thinking about the fun they were about to have. "It's my first staycation."

Wonwoo twisted around from the front seat to look at her. "Ever?" His voice was uncharacteristically loud with astonishment.

Cyana nodded, curling up in her seat. She tugged the blanket Joshua had gotten her so it draped over her lap. Getting comfortable, she looked up to see Wonwoo still looking at her. "You don't really film content like this as an actress." She shrugged. "I'm happy my first staycation is with Seventeen."

Vernon nodded, in the middle of putting headphones on. "It's definitely going to be a trip."

"Since we don't have to be on time..."

Cyana peaked an eye open upon hearing Wonwoo's voice. They had been driving silently for the past couple hours. She wordlessly apologized to the editors for giving them nothing to work with. She however, did not regret the nap her and Vernon had just taken.

"...why don't we go and enjoy the sea?"

Wonwoo always had such bright ideas, Cyana mused, sitting up and pushing Vernon gently off her.

"It's like we're on a personal trip." Minghao said, laughing at the thought.

"This only happens because it's us." Cyana added, her eyes warm. "I still can't believe they let us drive together - they know we're all no fun."

[ free-willed group ]

The scenery was beautiful as they walked along the seaside, autumn leaves blowing gently through the wind.

"I love fall." Cyana announced, to no one in particular. "I love fall so so so so so much."

Wonwoo couldn't help but smile at her words, watching as she admired the autumn colors around them, seemingly in her own world. Wordlessly, he held up his phone and snapped a picture.

The movement didn't escape Minghao's keen eyes however, as he raised a hand to tap Cyana on the shoulder. "Wonwoo-"

"Let's all take a picture!" Vernon jumped in, saving his hyungs ass.

Cyana blinked, quickly agreeing, confused why Wonwoo's face had turned so pink and why Vernon was suddenly so enthusiastic about pictures.

Shaking his head, Minghao shot Wonwoo a look.

Wonwoo could only subtlety shake his head and hope Cyana was still too enamoured by the scenery to notice.

Arriving at the airbnb, Cyana let out a loud gasp. "Look!" She grabbed Vernon's shoulder, shaking for his attention. "You can see Hoshi singing from all the way here."

Vernon followed her gaze, joining in on the laughter when he saw Hoshi, serenading the others in his tiger print t-shirt. "Wow." He mused, respecting the dedication. "He's actually insane."

"I want to join." Feeling rejuvenated after the calm and peaceful nap she just had, Cyana raced up the stairs and into the house.

"Cute." Vernon stated, as he watched the girl run away.

"What?" Wonwoo stood next to him, watching her as well.

[ admiring alien + painfully oblivious cat ]

The general vibe of the gathering was being kept up solely by Hoshi's passionate performance, as more people came and joined him in singing. Cyana sat on the couch, amused by the whole thing.

DK, Hoshi, Dino and Mingyu began singing some sad song, making her laugh over how much raw emotion was going into the performance.

"We're not onstage, guys." She reminded them, smiling so much her cheeks were starting to hurt. "Wa~ they really are natural performers."

Jun patted the spot next to him, urging her to come closer. "Hi."

She giggled. "Hello, Moonjunnie."

"I haven't seen you all week." He complained, throwing his head back against the couch. It was true, their schedules had somehow resulted in them never crossing paths. "I miss you."

"I'm right here, Junnie." Cyana smiled at his theatrics. "I missed you too. I haven't seen anyone this week, but somehow I've seen Mingyu every. single. day." She voiced out her complaints to Jun, who was listening, bemused.

He pointed at the boy in question, who was busy singing his heart out into the mic, a large arm around Dino's shoulders. "He's right here."

Cyana sighed. "It's like he's glue or something. We had identical schedules this week. I don't even know how that's possible. He's in Hip Hop and I'm in Vocal."

Jun patted her knee. "Ah. To have problems like you."

She kicked him playfully. "It is a real problem."

She regretted drinking so much so early. It was evident from the way Jeonghan was yelling about playing foot volleyball that the party had only began, and Cyana was already feeling way too tipsy.

Ignoring their calls to play, she ventured deeper down the hallway where their rooms were, coming across a figure lying on the ground.

Upon closer inspection, she realized it was Vernon.

"Nonnie?" She whispered, bending over and shaking his foot to wake him up. She was no longer surprised, having been used to his quirks for awhile now.

"Hm?" His voice was rough from the lack of use. "Nana?"

She hummed in confirmation. "The others are playing foot volleyball. You want to join?"

She knew his answer before he even replied.

"No."

Smiling, she slumped down next to him, leaning against the wall. "I don't either. I might black out from all the movement."

Vernon peaked open an eye to look at her from the ground. "Dizzy?" He asked, knowing she was part of the "low iron line."

Cyana only hummed in reply again.

Shouts and cheers echoed through the place, reaching both their ears as they stayed in silence, listening to the whoops and cries as the others played.

"This is nice." Cyana mumbled after awhile, smiling. It felt like her face was permanently frozen in one, with how much she had been smiling and laughing today.

Vernon nodded, his eyes still closed. "Told you."

Vernon had promised her any trip with Seventeen would be fun, reassuring her that spending a night with 13 boys was not as scary as it sounded when the 13 boys was them: made of goofiness but full of gentle care.

Cyana watched as Dino took shot after shot, living out his punishment after losing to Seungkwan in badminton.

"You reap what you sow." She told him, wagging a finger when he only pouted.

"Where did you even learn that?" Seungkwan asked her, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "No way Joshua taught you that."

"I did." Jeonghan raised his hand, a silly grin overtaking his face. He was proud that Cyana had found a chance to use the new phrase - even more proud that it had been used to tease Dino. "My little prodigy." He cooed, hands reaching to grab her cheek.

Cyana swiftly dodged, having much experience with it by now.

"Wait." Seungkwan called after Dino, who had been trying to escape through the distraction. "You still have to call me 'Hyung who I respect and have a lot to learn from.'"

Dino cringed just thinking about it. "Can I not?"

"You reap what you sow, Dino-yah~" Cyana sang from behind him, giggling when he turned to look at her with betrayal in his eyes.

"You're really going to treat your own twin like that?" He asked, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "This is betrayal."

[ you reap what you sow kekekeke ]

Seungcheol's voice rang through the room as he sang, proving to everyone he wasn't just a rapper. Cyana lazily waved her hands in the air, following the beat. The alcohol in her system was increasing both her social levels and her lack of self-control.

"Wooo~" She cheered once Seungcheol was done. "Best leader!"

He beamed under her praise.

"My turn~" Jeonghan took the mic from Seungcheol, cueing up the last song Cyana thought he'd sing. A rap song.

"Oh my god." She raised her hands to her mouth in surprise. Falling into DK's side, she let out a squeak. "It's Yoonzino." Jeonghan's infamous alter ego only ever made an appearance whenever Cyana was in his room and Jeonghan rapped along to her Spotify playlists.

"That's right!" Jeonghan called into the mic. "Yoonzino in the house~"

"You're so lucky you see this every night." DK nudged Cyana.

She laughed. "Hannie oppa has a secret love for rapping."

Laughing even harder when she saw Minghao jumping from outside the window, she doubled over in a fit of giggles, her upper half falling into DK's lap.

He stared down at her affectionately, an equally big grin on his face. "You're giggly today."

"She's drunk." Wonwoo mused, fighting back a smile.

[ mysterious until filled with alcohol ]

a/n: woo first half of ttt 2020 done! it was sm fun rewatching and imagining what cyana would be doing. she's part of the low iron line cuz she's just like me fr. let me know if you guys would be open to a part 2!

[grenade-maid]

there's a lot of reasons more people aren't into yuri that are troubling to consider, but equally, I genuinely think it cannot be understated how much of it comes down to most yuri being boring as hell. Like truly. I've been reading the front page of Dynasty Scans like it was the newspaper for 15 years I am not exaggerating I can show you the download file data 15 years.

You know what the complaint about yuri by yuri readers was back in 2009?

"wow that really was just 5 volumes of them blushing at each other and then they don't even kiss"

You know what the complaint about yuri by yuri readers is today in 2023?

"wow that really was just 5 volumes of them blushing at each other and then they don't even kiss"

Don't get me wrong, Yuri has grown a LOT in that time, to the point that most people today wouldn't even understand a Maria-sama reference if it were dropped in front of them (thank God). It's expanded and evolved to encompass more stories about adult women, wider varieties of scenarios, a greater acknowledgement of real life lesbianism, and is more comfortable showing girls kissing with tongue and having sex.

Yuri Manga is maybe the best is it's ever been, and it's also getting the widest readership it's ever had in the English speaking world. The titles we carry at work are always on back order with long queues, and, when I've asked them, most weebs of all gender or sexualities report keeping up with at least a few Yuri series.

At large though? Most of it is still really boring. That's not a bad thing necessarily. I like it because it goes down easy. For the most part any series you pick is gonna be pretty chill. Even shit from Sal Jiang which is PRETTY EDGY for yuri is a pretty breezy read. More serious ones like How Do We Relationship? cover some pretty real subjects about how intimacy is actually quite difficult even when both of you love each other, but it's not like... Exciting. Yuri isn't where you go to pump your fist or get perched on the edge of your seat.

So when the comparison is made to yaoi, well, I mean, have you READ any yaoi? Even in some of the more restrained titles those boys are likely to be sucking and fucking balls and all within the first volume or two. There's gonna be drama, intrigue, shit is gonna get messy, passions are gonna get heated, clothes are gonna be ripped off, people are gonna get sold to One Direction, it's stuff you can sit down with a bowl of popcorn with you know? Stuff you can message your friend and gush Hey Can You BELIEVE? A lot of it is pretty trashy, but that's the appeal. The generic state of yaoi is torrid and exciting and sexy. Ultimately, as a species many of us like to see pretty people fuck. In yaoi you'll get that. In yuri you won't. Nothing wrong with that, but it is gonna be a major contributing factor to their relative popularity.

It's also worth making the comparison to hetero romance manga, which has undergone a renaissance of it's own in recent years. There's now a whole meta around crafting a handful of mean shitty grouchy dysfunctional bully women and flinging them at the protagonist of the day who, unlike in years past, may actually have a face and personality. Most of these are also very trashy and truly scrape the bottom of the bucket in terms of writing.

AND YET?

I would bet money on the fact that you'll have heard of these women and probably even have a good idea what they're like without ever having touched a page of their manga.

I'm sorry but the straights are whipping donuts around the yuri girls in terms of delivering a wide variety of weird compelling fucked up women. How many yuri leading ladies by comparison can you point to as standout recognizable characters even divorced from their story? There's definitely a few, but not many. I'm not talking quality or depth of writing, I'm talking straight up pure recognizability. There are many beautifully written women in yuri, now more than ever. I can't think of many who'd like, get a figure made or have their face splashed on merch, though.

I don't really have a conclusion here. I love Yuri a lot, but at the end of the day this is just kinda the state of things right now.

[atlantis-is-burning]

Dead Boy Detectives Cancelation

So in light of the heartbreaking news of Dead Boy Detectives getting canceled, I decided to write a letter to @netflix It's the first time I've ever felt compelled to reach out to a major company regarding their services but I wanted them to know how much the show means to us as fans and what they're taking away from us by canceling it.

For me, the show was a literal life-saver. Without going into too much detail, I was in a very dark place prior to its release and it was the only thing that helped me through it. That and meeting all of you =)

I don't know what impact it will have, if any, but if you would like to write a letter to Netflix as well letting them know what the show meant to you, I would definitely do so. Our community may be small compared to other fandoms but we are passionate and devoted to this show and they deserve to hear from us.

I've attached the letter below the cut for anyone who would like to read it and believe me, I'm not trying to medal in the tragedy Olympics with the intro, it's just a fact of what happened.

Maybe the show helped you in ways you couldn't imagine. Maybe it made you feel better about yourself or something that occurred in the past. Maybe it was just a fun comfort show for you that you really enjoyed. Whatever the reason, this show brought out the best in people and made the world feel just a little bit kinder for a while and I will never forgive Netflix for taking that away.

To whom it may concern,

On April 29th, I sat down and watched the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives. 

I had heard good things about the show since its release a few days earlier, that it was fun and campy and easy to watch, but for me I was hoping it would be a distraction. A very close friend of mine passed away without warning on December 30th; she was just there one day and gone the next. The first half of the year was spent helping her family get her affairs in order while trying to process our shared grief and figure out how we could move on without her. 

I didn’t begin to feel like myself again until late March and by then it was only a fraction of who I had been before her passing. So when I sat down and pulled up the first episode of the Dead Boy Detectives, the only goal I had in mind was to pass a few hours watching a silly supernatural mystery show and think about something other than this sense of loss and imbalance that had settled over me.

It was the first time I smiled in nearly three weeks and it was the first time I laughed since December.

I watched the entire series, start to finish, in one night. Then I went back and watched it again the next day. And again a few days later. And for the first time since her passing, I felt like my friend was still there somehow, like we were watching it together. It was exactly the kind of show she would have loved when she was alive, flamboyant and silly with a touch of romance and mystery, so on my fourth rewatch of it, I sat on my couch with a picture of the two of us cradled in my lap, watching a show I know she would have enjoyed and feeling just the tiniest bit of my grief fade.

It was through the Dead Boy Detectives that I found a community online, a group of people who loved the show just as much as I did. We traded theories and ideas about the episodes, we excitedly welcomed new members who had just finished it and encouraged others to watch it in the meantime. We set up forums and threads on Reddit, we messaged each other, we embraced this silly, quirky show so much that it became a safe haven for a lot of us, it became a comfort series. We saw ourselves in this show and these characters and for many of us it gave us a sense of fellowship and belonging in a world where that feels more rare by the day.

And then it got canceled and for many of us, it felt like a slap in the face for the fans.

While I don’t claim to know the metrics on which a show’s success and renewal odds are based or what formula is used to determine ratings, I do know you didn’t see the fandom we created for ourselves because of this show. 

There are artists who make the most breathtaking art pieces you’ve ever seen, writers who bring you to tears with their works, and creators who painstakingly and lovingly created playlists and mood boards for each of the characters, matching them with songs and snippets of poetry that fit so perfectly it felt like it was made for them. There are fans who cosplay so well it looks like they borrowed the costumes directly from the production team and some who make jewelry and charms and trinkets that sell out almost before they complete them.

We engaged with the stars as well, wanting them to know how much we loved the show and these characters and how grateful we were to have watched them. We set up Q&As and asked them questions through Cameo, all the while thanking them for their work in bringing these characters to life. This show meant so much to us and we wanted them to know just what an impact they had had on more people than they ever could have imagined.

We were well aware of Netflix’s reputation of canceling shows based on poor viewership so we went in and organized weekly watch parties in an effort to increase the number of new viewers. We promoted it on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, creators made videos for it on TikTok, and we created an entirely new tag on social media to bring more attention to this show we all loved so much.

Early on, there were several comments from people who said they were hesitant to even watch it; they had been burned before and didn’t want to get deeply involved with a new show that would turn into yet another “one season wonder.” We did our best to reassure them and convince them that this time it would be different; it wouldn’t be like all the shows that had been cut down before it could ever really develop. Since it was tied in with DC and The Sandman Universe, we promised them that maybe this time we could save it, maybe this time it would be enough.

And it was still canceled.

On Friday, August 30th, ten minutes after the news broke that Dead Boy Detectives had been canceled, I canceled my Netflix subscription. Netflix was the first streaming service I ever signed up for and today it is the only streaming service I have ever canceled. And, after watching the fallout in our little online community, watching the actual grief people were experiencing because of the cancellation, and scrolling through pages upon pages of outraged fans who swore they would never watch another program on Netflix and vowed to cancel their subscription that day, I can see that my decision was justified.

You have no idea the impact this show had on its viewers and you have no idea the impact you had when you took it away. We had people admit that the show helped them come to terms with their sexuality, helped them process deep-seated trauma, helped them love and accept themselves for who they were. We knew the Dead Boy Detectives would never be a runaway hit like Stranger Things or Bridgerton but we hoped and prayed that it would stick around just a little while longer, that we could enjoy these characters and their stories for even one more season before they were gone for good. 

For you it may have been just a silly little ghost show that was little more than a blip on the radar but for a lot of us it was so much more than that, it meant so much more than that.

I am under no illusions that this email will make a difference or that it will bring the show back from cancellation but I wanted you to know what an incredible and amazingly talented fandom you are leaving behind in its wake. These are people who put their heart and soul into the art they create and the words they put on paper and all we wanted was a chance to see that continue.

We are tired of being drawn into a program and falling in love with the characters with no guarantee that our viewership and involvement actually means anything. We are tired of begging for complex characters and the representation we crave in media only to have the rug jerked out from under us once we finally get it. We are tired of hoping and praying and campaigning to save a show that should easily be renewed for several seasons or, at the very least, a season two. 

We are tired of feeling like we’re being taken advantage of as fans, that the passion and excitement we have toward these shows and their stars, the kind of involvement you claim to want, is dismissed with little regard toward the fans of the show itself.

We are your audience and we are tired.

We will continue to love and cherish this show and these characters, without your involvement, and give them a much longer life than they ever had on your platform. This show, the cast and crew, and the fans deserve better than what you gave them and I hope you understand the tremendous amount of talent and passion you’re throwing away in your fan base.

With regards,

-M

[daenysx]

Hi! I don't know if you remember the request of reader being pregnant with aemond but don't want to tell him because they are not married and the baby would be a bastard and his family wouldn't accept that, well, i was wondering if you could make a little series about it (like the proposal, the wedding, the pregnancy, the birth and a couple year later).

Los of love 💖

hi baby, thank you so much for this request and i'm sorry it took me so long! i've tried 2 different versions but i wasn't really satisifed with them. you can think of this as the second part and the explanation of their feelings.

requests are open!!

my masterlist

STRINGS ATTACHED (part 1)

part 2 - confessing

you and aemond explain your feelings to each other. nsfw.

he looks calm and relaxed, watches the ceiling as he rubs absent-minded circles on your belly.

it has been only 3 days since you told aemond that you are pregnant with his baby. in his analitical mind there are two parts; the one which makes him want to scream his happiness and the one which makes him know that he should protect you and the baby from every possible thing that could happen.

after that little moment of shock passed, he started to make plans in his mind. how to meet you with his family, how to get married to you, how to prevent any harm that can come to your way. he cannot afford to lose you and the baby at this point. he is already ready to lose it all just for your sake.

you are in bed next to him. his enormous bed, the witness of all your love making sessions. the witness of him falling in love with you everytime as you try to hold him closer.

"do you have any regrets?"

your soft voice brings him back to reality.

"regrets?"

you nod. "i'm just curious, it all happened so fast."

he gives himself a few seconds to think before he answers.

"i don't regret our baby. please don't ever think that. i should've told you about my feelings sooner. i shouldn't have made you feel like it's just sex and nothing else."

"why did you do it then?"

he seems happy that you want explanations instead of letting go.

"i didn't know how to reach you. how to be with you. how to start a relationship or even asking you. it happened and you seemed like you love the deal we had, i accepted what i had and didn't stop."

you let out a small chuckle.

"so, what you're saying is 'the perfect aemond targaryen' didn't know how to ask a girl out and settled for a sex arrangement instead?"

your words did something to him and suddenly he is on top of you, kissing like there is no tomorrow.

"and what about you, hmm? why wait so long to tell me how you feel? why ever letting me believe that you fell for someone else?"

you keep kissing him before answering his question.

"i didn't want to lose you. i thought if i talk about feelings you would break the arrangement and i could never see you again."

he understands. of course he fucking understands. it's not difficult to process everything in his mind but he feels guilty somehow. he wishes he could be the brave one. it would change everything and he cannot help himself, he thinks of all the lost opportunities.

"i just wish-" you kiss him, not letting him finish his sentence that he starts with a frown on his face.

"no. from now on, it's a new beginning for us. we won't think anything about the past, okay?"

he smiles. it's comforting, to have someone by his side who makes sure he stops thinking.

"i want this with you. i want all of you. i want everything with you."

he kisses you. not just a sweet, little kiss but a passionate one. your words carve their ways into his heart and he lets himself hold onto them until the end of his days.

"we will have a baby, can you believe that?" you say with a big smile.

"i must admit, it's still a shock. i wouldn't want a baby with anyone but you, it's quite a relief."

you frown slightly. "oh, please. you should try to be a little more romantic than that."

he starts pressing kisses to your neck as he stays on top of you in bed. "i should be romantic, hmm? should i kiss every inch of your body that i adore so much, you can't even guess? should i tell you how much i love you, how much i'd like to think about you, carrying our baby? should i tell you how beautiful you'll be as a mother and that i'll always be a man on his knees for you? because i think i can do that, sweetheart."

you hold his face and lead his lips to yours. he is a man of words and those words make you want to part your legs for him, only to keep him there forever.

"can you- can we-"

you pause, breathless and unsure of your words.

"anything you want." he understands.

he makes a quick work on your clothes, takes them off. he takes off his eyepatch, stands next to bed until he's naked for you. you watch him with eager eyes. he is yours now. no need to hide anything you feel. you press your thighs together, biting your lip.

"you should keep those legs open for me, my love."

you take a deep breath. his fingers stay on your thighs as he helps you keep them open.

"already wet for me? you look perfect."

he brings his fingers to your cunt, slowly touches with gentle fingertips. his fingers easily gets coated with your wetness and you whimper softly.

"i need to hear those voices, okay? be loud for me."

his first time touching you when you're both aware of feelings and it feels different. all he wants is to kiss you and fuck you senseless but he wants to be gentle and loving, too.

he is sure you're ready and if he doesn't start moving his fingers soon, you'll be cursing him. he puts his index finger deep, the sensation of his long finger in you is sudden and perfect. he moves it until he makes sure you feel that delicious strech, then he adds his middle finger.

"move your hips for me, sweet girl. there you go, it's nice isn't it?"

you nod as you move your hips in a sync with his fingers and it's perfect. it's more than nice, feeling his fingers right there. then he makes it better.

he knows how much you love it when he finds your g-spot and touches it like a cruel man. endless pressure until he feels your walls clench. you are almost addicted.

"yes, oh god, aemond! keep your fingers there, it's so- hmm."

he chuckles. "why on earth would i stop touching something so beautiful, hmm? let go, princess."

you find his other hand with closed eyes and lead his thumb to your clit.

"two fingers not enough for you, you want another one? fuck, i love you so fucking much."

he rubs your swollen clit and you move your hips like your life depends on it. you feel yourself getting close but you also don't want this to end.

"kiss me."

he immediately obeys and leans forward to kiss you. his hands don't stop, his lips swallow all of your noises and you love it. you love how much he devotes himself to you in bed.

it doesn't take long, you arch your back your hands stroke his hair and he slows his pace when he feels you come around him. warm liquid goes down on your legs and on his fingers and it feels like the world can fuck off now that you have him.

you hold his hand, relieved and happy. "you are perfect, thank you."

"no need to thank me, love. it was my pleasure." he smirks and that smirk has never looked more beautiful.

you take a few minutes as he cleans you. when you feel the effect of shattering orgasm lessens, you sit on bed, leading him under you.

"i'd like to return the favor."

he looks unsure. "as much as i love the image of your lips around my cock, i don't want you to go hard on yourself, love. that was for you."

you shake your head stubbornly. "i want to do it. i love doing it, you know that and i'm fine."

you don't let him say anything else, you take his cock in your soft hand. he hisses with the sudden feeling. you tighten your fingers experimentally, hearing his voice saying your name desperately.

"don't tease me, you little minx. it was hard enough to watch you come undone on my fingers, i need you."

you smile affectionally. "as you wish."

you lick your palm and bring it back to his cock, stroking him slowly and your thumb is on the tip of him. you lean forward and take him in your mouth. it's quite impossible to take him fully in your mouth but you start slow and he guides you, never lets you hurt yourself.

you start sucking him, gently. your hands travel on his thighs and the length of him that you cannot have in your mouth. his hands find your hair, helps you move easily.

you are used to this, during your arrangement it was the only thing that calmed aemond's mind. he'd love seeing you taking care of him, sucking him, and looking at him with those eyes while you do that. it never takes too long for him, the image of you between his legs is enough to get him there.

"can you- a little more, my love. please." such needy words coming from his mouth.

you are merciful, you keep moving your lips and tongue in a way you know makes him go feral. he starts lifting his hips unintentionally.

"i'm close baby, you can stop."

you straighten your back for a moment, continue your movements with your hand. you take a deep breath and take him in your mouth again.

"baby-"

"i wanna swallow. come on aemond, i know you are close."

your words start burning their way into his brain and he loses it. he comes with a loud moan, his desire stays in your mouth in a liquid form. he can't think or breathe for a moment.

"i think you just killed me."

you smirk. "you always say the same thing."

he pulls you closer into his arms. he holds you right there, such a moment was reserved only in his dreams and now it's his reality. he pulls the covers on you, you bury your face to his neck.

"i've always wanted to do this. after you made me come with that perfect mouth of yours, i wanted to hold you like this."

you mumble softly. "sometimes you did."

"it wasn't enough."

his lips find your neck, the soft skin of your breast, and your belly.

"our baby is right here, hmm?"

you smile. "it's too small, aemond. we should see a doctor though."

"still, it's here my love. and we can see a doctor tomorrow, okay?"

you nod. "i want to sleep."

"go ahead, baby. i'll be right here when you wake up."

[gwenyundreiko]

I need to scream about Arcane S2 (spoilers for the whole season)

Alright, it's been 2 days since I've watched the end of Arcane, and I'm still in a bad mood over it, so I am going to scream into the void about it, and hopefully it will allow me to move on.

I do not like the second season of Arcane.

Season 1 ? Absolute banger, still love it. I love it even more after recently watching it a second time in preparation for season 2.

Season 2 though ? ... I will not go into the details (because I feel like I would need to rewatch it again to be more accurate, and I don't want to do that), so I am just going to write about how I feel about it now that it is over.

Season 2 has left me deeply unsatisfied, to say the least. I think this feeling comes from the fact that most characters' arcs look like they were either cut short, or didn't really go anywhere. This makes the entire story feel pointless; an undeniable marvel of aesthetics and animation put in service of nothing.

I could talk about a lot of the main cast, but I'll only talk about Vi, her relationship with Caitlyn, and the Zaun vs Pilltover theme.

First off : Vi, the character who fought tooth and nails for those she loved and always tried to do the right thing. Accepting responsibility for everyone who looked up to her... and got nothing for it in the end but pain. From the start of the serie, she is set up to be one of the protagonists, along with her sister and Caitlyn. Yet the story feels pervert in the way it insists to both :make Vi suffer without giving her any sort of confort or moment to express her feelings ; and make all of her actions be pointless.

In episode 8, when she says "I always make the wrong choice and lose everyone", we have to admit that from a narrative point of view, she is absolutely right. For the first time, Vi is self pitying. She's shown as vulnerable, doubtful, almost sounding like she's giving up by saying that all she ever does is useless or worse. This is incredibly out of character for her, and yet the story proves her right. Nothing she does matters in any meaningful way. She doesn't even contribute to the final battle : she gets stranded in the defence of the artillery tower (which turned out not to be a key asset in the battle), then go 1v2 Warwick with Jinx, and Jinx ends up sacrificing herself to kill it, but only AFTER the battle is over and all the narrative tension has calmed down. (Sidenote : yes yes I know it is hinted that Jinx is still alive, but still. Let's agree that it's in bad taste for a suicidal character's triumphant moment to be a reckless act of self sacrifice, independently of the outcome.)

Vi gets mistreated throughout the whole storry and gets nothing in the end despite her bravery and efforts. No matter how hard she fought, she still ends up separated from her sister and she still loses Vander. The only thing she gets in the end is a girlfriend with whom she basically had no tender moment since their breakup, making Vi feel like a rescue dog at Caitlyn's house, but let's talk about her relationship with Caitlyn in more depth.

I'll say this first : I love the sex scene. It's tender and passionate. It's a bit awkward, but in such a relatable way that it only makes the moment sweeter. It does an excellent job at showing us how the characters feel about each other. Taken on its own, it's perfect. Two people that love each other so much they just need to have each other right here, right now... I just wish their relationship around it was more fleshed out.

From what we get to see on screen, they get a really messy break up in episode 3, and then never interact again until crossing paths at the commune. In the meantime, Caitlyn has allied herself with Ambessa, declared martial law on Zaun and is oppressing it with the full extent of her legitimate violence... but upon seeing Vi again, she instantly switches side to go against Ambessa with a rushed plan.

We get absolutely no other insight into their emotions or thoughts at this moment. No scene to show that despite their conflicts and standing on opposite sides, there is still tenderness and affection between the two of them that could hint at them getting back together. Instead, Vi calls her a petname once, and it's done, no further convincing needed. (Sidenote again : this makes Caitlyn look impulsive and irrational, when everything that comes before shows us that she is smart, collected and patient. Here, she instantly abandons everything she was previously fighting for, even at the risk of putting her entire city in danger. This includes abandonning her vandetta against Jinx, which is the reason why they split up in the first place, but this isn't adressed between Vi and Cait ever again either.)

After that, Vi holds her accountable for her actions for the time of 1 dialogue.

Then they barely interact again until the jailcell scene. Hell, once the battle starts, I don't think the two of them interact AT ALL until the epilogue.

The lack of substance in the portrayal of their relationship makes this sweet and tender sex scene feel like a spur of the moment thing. An almost self-destructive action from Vi trying to scrape at any possible source of confort after being cut out by her sister. A good thing happening for the wrong reasons. (Mind you, a hate sex scene would have worked wonders in my opinion, but that's not what we got.)

So yeah, given all of that, I'm struggling to see how Vi ending up with Caitlyn is supposed to be a meaningful and happy resolution to her story, when this relationship is barely shown on screen during season 2.

Finally, let's talk about the Zaun vs Piltover situation : it goes nowhere.

An entire 5 acts showing us that Piltover treats Zaun like shit, turning it into a ghetto and leaving it to rot in its own misery . The promo campaign for season 2 teased us a revolution... and in the end, we barely see any change. The way the story resolves implies that now that Zaun and Pilltover have triumphed over a shared ennemy, they grieve together and make peace because they have learned that war comes at too high a cost, and Zaun gets to be represented by ONE councilor.

I'm sorry but either the show tried something and missed, or the show was just incredibly shallow from the beginning. This conflict was set up from the first second of the show by having the main characters be orphaned by cops in a popular uprising which only looks more and more justified as we learn more about Zaun. That is to say that Topside doesn't care about Zaunites. From what we can tell, Heimerdinger has been leading the city for 300 years, and he discovers just now that Zaun has problems ?? Piltover prides itself for being the city of progress and equality, while exploiting the misery of the people that are LITERRALY BENEATH THEM. It's the final shot of THE FIRST SCENE IN THE SHOW, the topside people are sitting ON TOP of Zaun, reaping the benefits while throwing their wastes at them.

I think there's no better illustration for how Piltover considers Zaun than the scene where Jayce announces to the Council that Silco has demanded independance. All the councilors lose their shit. They are OUTRAGED by the demand. Clearly, Piltover considers Zaun its property. People to exploit, whose need and misery they can ignore, and ultimately, a problem to be solved through the police by having them arrested/beaten up/killed.

So either the show was indeed trying to tell a story about class struggle and oppression, and failed to deliver a satisfying conclusion; or the show was only interested in the appearance and flavor of class struggle only as a vessel for the cliché of "the cycle of violence". Which hmm, yeah it's 2024. I don't think anyone needs me to write an entire section about the necessity of fighting for human rights and resisting oppression.

I could have talked about how pitfighter Vi was 60% of the promo for Season 2, and yet was done and gone in a minute, which was also what we got with the promo, or how a French animation studio decided to call an independant, pacifist and egalitarian community " The Commune" (if you know you know); I could have also talked about Jinx's character, and how the show portrays her self healing from her devouring guilt, but I'll stop rambling here. I hate that I have wrote this, because I don't want to spread negativity. I'd rather spend this kind of energy on things I love.

The thing is, I really really wish I enjoyed Arcane season 2, because season 1 means a lot to me. Vi's character awakened something in me. It is representation I never knew I needed and it changed me. I know this sounds silly. It's only a fictionnal story after all, but it helped me grow into a better and more hopeful person. In the end, I just feel like season 2 went too far too fast, and left me behind to try and pick up the pieces of my expectations. If you've made it this far, I sincerely thank you, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day.

[fireintheimpala]

McLennon Playlists

I have been working putting together some McLennon playlists. I mean "McLennon" pretty broadly and vaguely with these lists, so choose your own adventure. It's a useful short portmanteau for for the creative partnership of Lennon/McCartney. But I do also think there is a powerful human relationship here, disregarded from the classic Beatles narrative. And I think this relationship is pivotal to much of their songwriting.

This is a work in progress but here are the acts so far:

Act I: The Beatles before India '68. This is a foundational period. For the most part, I don't think these songs are consciously referencing each other. Rather, they providing a foundation for future references. That said, I think Hide Your Love Away deserves a second look.

Act II: The Beatles after India '68. The contrast is remarkable. Not everything on this list is written by Lennon/McCartney. I think George's While My Guitar Gently Weeps is actually the best expression for the whole time. Anyway, they're breaking up. Passionately. Chronology is a total mash since most of these songs were written or produced in a small period of time.

Act III: The 70's up through approximately 1975. Here especially the chronology of songs begins to be sacrificed for highlighting some back and forth. I personally find their mirroring right after the Beatles--with the front and center band wives and antipodal messages right when they're sending each other cutting missives through hit singles--hilarious. But after that you get this escalating back and forth in moods. Still sent through international hits! Lol. Which they simply presume will work. Anyway, if you listen in order, the positivity increases. Unfortunately, a playlist shift is required once John returns to Yoko in 75ish.

Act IV: '76ish through 1980. After a period of musical productivity and reconnecting with old friends including McCartney, John returns to Yoko. Let's not weight into that but merely note that it changes all music vibes for both musicians. John goes completely silent for 5 years, except for later release home demos. (I'm using Spotify for this which doesn't have most of Lennon's demos unfortunately. But the demos for Free as a Bird and Real Love are recorded during this time so those songs are included. Now and Then demo also, but c'mon let's save that.) McCartney in the meantime writes a series of IMPASSIONED songs about things like his baby who won't call him back, and his lover who needs to beware. Idk what is going on with Wings in production, but LIVE he is absolutely wailing. He starts '76 going on tour worldwide with every song so far I would ever include in these lists. He wails into that void so hard... Things dip, but then escalate back up in 1980. Coming Up. Starting Over Again. But then unfortunately...

Act V: Post Dec 8, 1980. Pending. There's a lot here, but it's so sad it's taking me awhile.

Please contribute suggestions if I've missed relevant songs!

I'll be working on providing more details explanations of some song inclusions.

[mimpinightmare]

"SUPA STRIKAS DISCUSSIONS/ ANALYSIS/ HEADCANONS" IN COMING!!!(PART 1) [Not Sure if this becomes a series]

TOPIC: Riano (Headcanons)

Been thinking about Riano for the past few days, because absolutely miss the guy. (and can I say: HOW UNDER UTILISE HE IS IN THE SHOW??!??! GIVE US MORE RIANO!!!)

And I've been thinking about some headcanons for him about how he was born and raised as a kid, and how it affect him until he's an adult, but torn which one I like more:

Number 1) My first headcanon of him is that he wasn't born in a very wealthy household as a kid. His parents had low income jobs, and try their very best to support their kid and themselves (even so far, both of them need to have two jobs). Sometimes the struggles came of a cost where, rarely at times, Riano's parents fight (they usually fight where Riano isn't around, unfortunately Riano has been eavesdropping his parents sometimes if they fought). Despite this tho, they still are a very loving family and Riano's parents support Riano through and through.

I like to also think the line "Finding your own style of play" from Riano in "Instinct Extinct, S1E7" is actually from his parents. Riano used to be frustrated as a kid that he wasn't as good at football like the other kids, that his parents (despite knowing little about the sport) advice him to "find your own style of play". That line always stuck to him until now, that it his main motto, to the point, authenticity is very important to him. If you don't play your heart out with passion and authenticity in football, what's the point of it?

His competitiveness came from where he used to be made fun of from the big kids where, at the time, he wasn't great at football yet. So, he wanted to prove them that he can be as great (and better) than them. He also wanted to prove his parents that he can be great at it too, despite them knowing, he IS great at it. (Their proud parents, I tell you) There is also a hint of love language there from Riano, where pretty much, ever game he plays, it's always for them.

Despite of his competitiveness though, he always been a good sport. His parents raised him well to know better then to sulk immaturely and have grudges towards his opponents playing well, after his team lose. His competitiveness is also only (AND ONLY) limited to football. (The guy is passion with the sport) I've seen him being SUPER UNINTERSTED with any other competition event made by Miss Altivo, like in "Living and Kicking, S4E3" when Miss Altivo explaining the reason why they were invited, he gave such uninterested facial expression, like he regrets coming. Reason he stayed tho, is because of Shakes, and want some quality time with him. *COUGH COUGH he also has a crush on him COUGH COUGH* Also in "Your Latest Trick S7E3" there are brief moments that Riano is not really into the prize, nor the competition. He's just... Looking at his phone, that's it. And immediately got eliminated because he wasn't doing a trick, he was just resting in the park- If it's just a silly little competition or event to get viral, views or some over aggerated prize, he wouldn't care-

His dedication with honesty and sincerity came from learning about people taking advantage and being dishonest to his parents. His parents will do anything to have a stable life , but they unfortunately will meet deceitful folks in their way. They never told him about the mistreatment they face, because they wouldn't want to make him worry, but Riano knows. (Pretty much knows this by the eavesdropping from one of their fights) After learning this, he has a reluctant distaste towards dishonest people. (Also, I headcanon that the "actual" reason Riano fired Golari, is because of his dishonesty. They patch up their relationship of course in S1E6, and Golari swears not to be dishonest to Riano and his players again)

Number 2) (This one have some inspired headcanons by @sahara-solaris-solace headcanons of Riano)

The other headcanon is the opposite of the first ones, that he was raised in a wealthy home. But, unlike the first headcanon, his family in this headcanon, are not so loving. His parents are more neglectful and have high expectations for their son. When Riano told them that he loves soccer as a kid, they weren't happy about it and told him it's fine to play it, but never fully support the idea to be a professional football player, to the point, they don't allowed him to go to soccer practices in schools. To solve this problem, he sneaks out from his home, just to go to soccer practice.

Number 1 headcanons of him being authentic, sincere and honest are mostly because of his parents. Well here is the opposite too, his parents are snarky, arrogant and constantly show up with a friendly face in front of guests, and when they immediately leave, they will say the nasties things about them behind their back. After Riano getting repulsed by watching their behavior from afar, he swore deep down NOT to end up like his parents. (AND THANK GOD FOR THAT-)

Despite him born into a luxurious life, he HATES expensive and flashy stuff. Growing up into a neglectful, rich family made him uninterested anything that reminds him of his old life (and technically, almost all the rich people he's ever met are annoying to be around) This is pretty much another way I see in "Your Latest Trick S7E3", he just does not care about the grander stuff. He's a simple man, want a simple life. The only thing "GRAND" in his life is his football career. (This can be a headcanon as Number 1, except he was raised humble. No EXTRAVAGANT things for him)

His still is a good sport, and wouldn't change that for anything. But I kinda headcanon (this can implied to number 1 Headcanons as well) he has a *TINY* mischief side to him. When he was young, MOSTLY he always avoid getting into trouble, but sometimes he joins some troubling kids, and start doing shenanigans with each other- This headcanon was inspired by a scene in "Your Latest Trick" where Skarra was driving his *MASSIVE* Stalliano, and Riano was recording him- (Habits dies hard, huh?) He wouldn't, of course, do this for fun. He doesn't enjoy doing them, but again, he likes seeing dishonest people get karma-

Also headcanon Riano being a very charitable person. If there's is a charity event going on, he will be interested and pays attention to the cause. He wants to give back to the people and bring good to the world, unlike his parents. (This one is also can be a headcanon for Number 1, except in that headcanon, he sympathies with people (and animals) who are struggling, because that's what he and his family has gone through. And people shouldn't suffer under terrible conditions.) This one is inspired by, of course, one of @sahara-solaris-solace headcanons, and "Cool Aid S6E12", where he joins the cause, "Balls 4 All". (THAT'S SUCH A HILARIOUS TITLE NAME IN THIS DAY AND AGE-)

This is @sahara-solaris-solace Headcanons dedicated to Riano, if you want to read them :D :

.... Okay, that's pretty much it-

If you read this till the end, HOW PATIENT ARE YOU???? Jokes aside, thank you so much! This took me 4 HOURS TO WRITE-

If you have anything to discuss about the headcanons, please don't hesitate to give me your thoughts on them! Which one is your favorite between the two? Share your headcanons if you like! :)

THIS WAS INCRIBLY FUN TO WRITE- Maybe this will be a series(????)

(Sorry if there are incorrections with the grammar or the episodes. I will edit them if I spot them)

- MimpiNightmare

[titan-fanatic]

20 years ago today, Teen Titans premiered on Cartoon Network. I've been thinking about this milestone for a long time, and I can't believe it's finally here. I've already talked a lot throughout the years about how much I love this series and what it means to me, but honestly I really don't think I'll ever be able to adequately express how grateful I am to everyone involved in making this show for all the stories, entertainment, and comfort Teen Titans has given me and so many others. There's a reason Teen Titans is so popular, and theres a reason that still, 20 YEARS LATER, there are so many passionate fans raving about the show and asking for another season. Teen Titans was a masterpiece in so many ways and regardless of whether or not we'll ever get that sixth season, it will always be known as one of the greatest animated series of all time.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

January Creator of the Month: Jerzwriter

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is CFWC's own @jerzwriter.  The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Complete Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Elsa

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

It was sometime in 2017, and the first book I ever played was The Royal Romance, Book 1.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined a couple Facebook groups in 2019. I just wanted to discuss stories with others who were interested, as no one in my real life reads Choices. I didn't even know I was entering a fandom. lol I started reading fanfic on Tumblr the following year, but I found Tumblr intimidating, so I was mostly a silent reader. I didn’t start writing and contributing until May 2021, mostly because Open Heart was ending and I was in denial. 🙂

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It’s pretty boring, actually. I’m from NJ, and I write. I wanted it to be JerZwriter, so people would know it is Jer-ZEE-Writer, but that wasn’t doable, so it’s Jerzwriter, and most think it is Jerz-Writer. Oh, well!  

4- Pull up the first and last posts in your archive, and tell us about them!  

My first post was the first chapter of my Ethan x Casey x Tobias love triangle, Delaying the Inevitable (OH).  It was my very first fanfic and I really didn't think I'd write anything beyond that.  I was so green back then, not only to fanfic but to the fandom as well. I’m really glad that I was naive because I don’t think I would have had the courage to post it if I had, but I’m glad that I did. 

My last post was Falling for You, a little drabble I wrote for Tobias x Casey (OH), and it featured a commission by the talented artist @weetlebeetle. It was a light, fun piece that took place early in Tobias and Casey's relationship, and it shows Tobias at his absolute simpiest. Lol 

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

Oh, how I wish I could draw, but I can't.  So, I’m strictly a writer. I may try giving drawing a go again, but I don't expect much to come of it. lol

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

Choices was the first fandom I ever wrote for, and I started in May of 2021.  So, just over two and a half years. I have written a little bit for some other fandoms since that time, but I primarily write for Choices.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Tough question.  I write for Open Heart, Crimes of Passion, and Wake the Dead, and they are three of my favorite stories. I also loved Desire & Decorum, but I never wrote for it.  Though, I’m planning a re-read, and you never know. 🙂

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was the first chapter of Delaying the Inevitable. I was so green when I started that series that I’m sure there are things I would change, but I’m still very proud of it.  That series will always have a special place in my heart.  I’d like to revisit it one day to “clean it up”, it could use some condensing. But I would never change the storyline.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

This is such an unfair question. lol The Delaying the Inevitable Series definitely comes to mind, but I’m also very proud of my Eli Sipes prequel stories, A Mother’s Journal, Coming Up Blank, and The End of the World. But Tobias and Casey are my favorite pairing, and I simply love the world I created for them. And while my headcanon for them is my favorite, I cannot pick just one fic for them, and I'm not going to! lol But, I've also written a bunch of AUs for them, and Friends* is one of my favorites.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

Yes, to both! The fandom is much smaller today, but back when we were more active, I learned you couldn't predict how a fic would be received.  There are too many to name, but I will say whenever my smut does well (and quite a few of them have), I’m always astounded. lol 

11-  If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

This is such a difficult question because I believe the best stories incorporate a little of each, and, as a writer, exploring all three helps spur creativity. Also, my absolute favorite is angst with a happy ending, so there is definitely some fluff in there (and I'm never mad at a little smut being thrown in!) But if I were forced to choose, it would probably be angst.  I think that's where I am strongest, and I just love raw emotion. I think that’s where character development really occurs. I have not written as much angst recently, and I miss it.  Perhaps I need a change in 2024. 

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are definitely parts of me in my MCs and OCs, but I do my best to prevent them from becoming self-inserts.  I'm not as cool as any of them, that's for sure! lol That said, I do find inspiration for my fics in real life, so there is bound to be a little crossover. When using real-life inspiration, I try to change details so that the fiction is not a carbon copy of the real-life event. Normally, by the time I'm done, they're hardly recognizable.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most? Where do you feel you are strongest?

I struggle most with setting a scene. Dialogue is my strong suit, and that just flows for me. It flows so much that sometimes I forget to describe what's going on around the conversation. I think this is particularly easy to do in fanfiction because so much of the "world" has already been provided for us, so I recognize this more when I'm writing original works.

The other thing I struggle with? Brevity. I know I can go on, and on, and on. lol I've gotten much better at this, but there is still room for improvement.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

(Elsa leaves the room, quietly crawls under her desk, and hides…) YES!!! Far, far too many, and no matter how much I share those posts that say, "You don't have to finish! If you're not feeling it, move on!" I don't believe it! lol I really want to make wrapping them up a priority in 2024.  But I also know writing - particularly good writing - cannot be forced.  So, it's a goal, but I'll only do it if I feel it’s right. 

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

It would depend on who asked.  I’m not ashamed of writing fanfic at all, but if I believed the person would be judgemental, I wouldn't be willing to share.  A few of my friends have read select pieces of my fanfic, and I’ve always received positive feedback from them. I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing more.  What I'd share would depend greatly on the person asking.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

There are many published writers that I admire, but I don’t think they've influenced my writing here. Within the fandom, there are many writers who have inspired me in different ways. There is no way I can ever name them all. But I'd like to give a shout-out to some.

@jamespotterthefirst and @bex-la-get were among the first writers I read when I joined Tumblr. I found their passion for both canon and the worlds they created inspiring, especially as Open Heart was nearing its end and all of us addicts needed our fill. Reading their works helped keep the story alive for me and so many others, and it inspired me to try my hand at it as well. To my shock, they were both so encouraging and supportive of me when I arrived, and I'm forever grateful. Back then, I thought they were rockstars - and they are! But now, they're also friends. I wasn't familiar with @alwaysmychoices from the start, but when I came across their work, I was just blown away.  Weekend with Dr. Ramsey will live rent-free in my head forever, and that headcanon about Charlie calling Ethan the night before she marries someone else. (I faint.) Ohhh, the delicious angst! The way she made me feel what Charlie felt was just mind-boggling, and it encouraged me to really dig into my character's emotions and bring them to life in a more meaningful way.

Early on, I read @utterlyinevitable, and the thing that impressed me the most was how Dom was willing to "write stories that “went "go there.”  They tackled issues that others wouldn't touch.  In their world, everything wasn’t perfect, including the characters themselves. I admired that vision and, frankly, bravery, and it definitely encouraged me to write what I wanted to and not what I felt was expected of me.

More recently, @mydemonsdrivealimo inspired me to explore parts of my MCs that I have not delved into in the past.  In particular, Casey's bisexuality. It can be challenging to represent a bisexual character when they are in a straight-presenting relationship, and you risk alienating readers no matter what you do (looking at all readers here.) So it becomes easier to be lazy and ignore it. But that's a disservice to the character as much as it's a disservice to people living similar situations in real life... like I have many times. Through MJ's writing and our conversations, they've helped me become more aware and do a better job in this regard, and I'm not even sure if they know this - it may totally be news to them lol - but I'm eternally grateful. Now, I feel my girl Casey is free, and OMG, how I love our characters playing together in HC now!

Then there are @lilyoffandoms and @storyofmychoices, who bring joy to all that they touch. Who knew when Lily created a little drabble putting our characters in a new world together, it would end up being one of the brightest fandom spots of 2023? Who knew that so much more would stem from that one work? Seriously, it's been one of the highlights of my fandom experience this year, and it's helped me to find inspiration at times when I felt like it was lost. Thank you both - I am so lucky to have you both here!

There are so many more I could mention, but I'd still forget people and feel horrible, so I want to take the chance to thank every writer in the fandom for sharing their gifts with us. Each of you is an inspiration in your own way; each of you can give someone an idea, and you have no idea where that spark will lead. So, never stop sharing!

17-  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Delaying the Inevitable, Friends*, All in the Past, and the WIP What’s Forever For. I also think some of my Ethan x Tobias works would have made for a good sitcom, and how I wish my Tobias x Casey friendship with Bryce x Jensen would be an epic sitcom. The world needs it! lol   (Jensen belongs to @mydemonsdrivealimo.)

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I do. Mostly shorter stories that will never see the light of day, but also some more substantive works... which will also never see the light of day! lol I wrote a novel-length political thriller some time ago. It would need a ton of work to bring it up to 2024, as the political landscape has changed so much. I also have two original WIPs I've been writing. One is an angsty story about a friendship that's loosely based on a childhood friend I lost to cancer a few years ago.  The other is a polyamorous romance about two best friends who fall for the same person. It's really a beautiful, emotional story. If I like the end result, maybe I'll let it see the light of day... maybe. lol

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

I enjoy theater, and I'm lucky enough to live in the best part of the world to partake in that.  I go to a lot of Broadway, Off-Broadway, and local theater productions. I also love going to concerts - they’re like group therapy! Trust me, I got more out of seeing Noah Kahan and Hozier in 2023 than I did from the entirety of sessions with my therapist - and I loved my therapist. lol

Prior to 2020, I did a fair amount of traveling, and I hope to start doing a little more this year.  But I have to admit, since the lockdown, I’ve become more of a homebody, and I like it, so we’ll see how that goes! 

I used to be very involved with activism and advocacy for women’s, lgbtq+, and mental health issues. I still am, but in a different capacity than I was in the past. These issues require people fighting for them, and doing so has always been a huge part of who I am, but it can be draining, and burnout is real. I really reached the end of my rope. So, nowadays, I work as a volunteer for a couple local organizations that really mean a lot to me. I'm not involved in grassroots efforts or taking trips to talk to legislators as often, but I'm helping people on a smaller scale, and that still goes a long, long way.

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

As most of you know, I’m one of the mods here at CFWC, so it was a little weird when my the wheel landed on my name.  But, honestly, it’s happened before, and I've just spun again, even though I am eligible. But this time around, I decided to do it. This fandom really means a lot to me, and I wanted to share a little more about myself and my crazy pixelated people.

I'm truly grateful to everyone in the fandom who does their part to make this a place that many, like me, still see as a place they want to be. We're smaller, it's imperfect, it has plenty of problems, but I am choosing to focus on the good... because there is much more of that than there is bad. So, thank you to each of you... and I hope we all have a wonderful 2024! xo

PS... My header... I know Tobias wasn't technically an LI... which was truly criminal. So, that's what fandom is for, fixing what canon effed up. lol My favorite canon LI is Trystan Thorne (COP). I tried adding their picture to the header alongside Tobias, but it looked terrible, so here I am. :)

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I can't wait to highlight more of you in 2024! :)

[kaija-rayne-author]

13th review in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

98 steam hours logged, 84 game hours logged on final save, (the listing in the game itself) actual gameplay hours (-2 for time in CC) either 96 or 82... depending.

14 hour discrepancy between game logged hours and steam logged hours is likely how much trouble the game gave me in loading, reloading, glitching, and crashing. Do I get to charge Bioware for those lost hours of my life?

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip it if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though., every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard and everything else DA, I'm a Lore fiend.

My pithy pre-end sequence commentary.

Section 12 here.

END GAME SPOILERS

End game spoilers for BG3 too.

13 is my lucky number, but even that couldn't save it. I can't think of a single thing that can save this disaster of a game. I'll write a more professional wrap-up review post too, this is my reaction portion.

I've finished the final sequence of the game. Sat through the credits of probably a thousand people who worked on this piece of shit and still thought it releasable. AND saw the 'easter egg/future game possibility scene'. My kid said I got a hint of hope back in my eyes for about 10 seconds when that final scene popped up then the light faded again. Apparently the 'long slow horrified stare of death' was all over my face again.

Loading in, I dreaded everything I was about to see. Veilguard had already disappointed me in so many ways. I didn't have any hope the final sequence would be any better.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. It was worse. Yes. Honestly.

In all fairness (even if I really don't want to be fair right now) the last sequence does contain some of the best material in the game. If they'd actually written the rest of it with that kind of passion it probably would've been a better game. But that doesn't actually make it good. And how any average person makes it to the final sequence is beyond me. I'm stuck in bed. I've got an excuse.

So. I expected it to be long. That part didn't bother me that much. Most Dragon Age games have long final sequences.

The positive! Ummmm? Oh! I actually did get an intimate scene with Lucanis. His timing stinks but whatever. I did actually get one. I mean, it was one your aunt who's a nun probably wouldn't have found racey, but it exists! Dude. It's 2024, there's this cool toggle function you can click off if you don’t want nudity. It's a Mature rated game and I'm pretty sure most of us know what sex is. Give paying customers what they want!

My least favourite character died.

I called it on Solas killing Varric in the first scene. Interesting twist they did with that, though. Told y'all. I didn't want it to happen either, but the writing was on the wall in great big letters in drippy red paint from the second they fired Mary Kirby (Varric's writer.) In case you want more details than snark on that? Varric did indeed die when Solas stabbed him in the beginning. What you see throughout the game is Solas messing with Rook's mind because Solas needs Rook to work with him. Varric died before the story actually started. That last line of his 'take care of the team' told me. But I got taken in by the twist too. Bet that was a Weekes twist. 'It’s right in front of you the whole time.'

Elgar'nan made a WAY better final boss fight than Coryphyfish.

I did legitimately love watching Teia and Viago fight as crows. That was a really awesome section. (They're two of my favourite characters from Tevinter Nights.)

The bad.

There is no way for me to list it all. So here's the highlight reel.

Varric died.

They lifted almost the entire final battle sequence from BG3. The tentacle they have to climb to the fancy building in the sky. People falling and almost dying by tumbling down the tentacle, having to fight through said self-destructing fancy building in the sky... I know you can't copyright an idea. As an author, I understand and approve of that. But you should at least make the idea a wee bit unrecognizable as to where you lifted it from. Y'know?

Yay! We got to see Solas in wolfie form! He looks like a Chinese hairless crested dog on a really bad day. Like... really needs to go to the salon and have a bath day. I really wish I were joking.

Called it on the Solavellan ending. And NO. Trick Weekes. That DOES NOT give a suggestion of a Happy Fucking Ending. Read some fucking Romance. GOOD romance. (They do. And I'm being very mature by not calling out one of the authors they read who was one of the ones who harassed me off of Twitter. Oh. No. Two of them I've seen Trick mention as books they've read were involved in that. I guess looking at the people someone likes and respects is kinda indicative... isn't it?)

What's that say about me? I don't like very many people. I get along with people as best as my autistic/AuDHD ass can but I don't LIKE very many people at all. Nor do people tend to like me. I have no compunction about calling someone on bullshit. It makes people cranky, but I've had enough bullshit in my life. And I respect about the same amount of people as I like. If I can't respect you? I can't like you. (For anyone who does actually know me... I don't mean you. If I talk with you privately? Or even if I'm willing to? I both like and respect you. Or I wouldn't bother talking to you privately. I'm shit at reaching out. But if we've talked more than once in any form of privacy? You've made the list of my cranky ass.)

Am I a bitch? Probably. Live my life and see if you'd be any different.

No intimate scene for Solas and Inky. After ten years of waiting for Solavellans. After all the shitting on Solas we had to put up with in DAV (and OMFG there was soooo much!!) No actual happy ending. No intimate scene. Oh, but you do get a rather grody kiss between them because he's just been fighting and has blight all over his face. But yay? They get to kiss? With absolutely no passion at all. Maybe the passion of a bavarian cream pastry? A rotten one? Ew. Before dissolving into fade gook.

The entire time I spent in CC for my Inky to make her look like my player character from DAI? It didn't show up in the final sequence. And no way was I replaying that hellscape to see if it MIGHT could be coaxed into actually showing her the way I made her. I just got the stock body.

So... y'know the veil? That edge of reality that has been getting more and more holes in it throughout the entire history of the Dragon Age Franchise? The veil that the Lore has been pretty clear about it strangling both the magic and the life out of THEDAS? Not to mention everything the elves lost because of it? That veil?

It's all better now. Regardless of the Lore. Because Solas bound his life force to it. So instead of a quick bandage being pulled off to get rid of the veil that really does need to go (y'know if Bioware writers actually gave a rat's ass about the fucking lore of the world they're writing in)... Now it's there until Solas dies... which he can't really do easily being one of the first Elves. Sooooo by the very lore of the world they've crafted... THEDAS is now doomed to die.

Congrats Bioware. Well done. /s

Oh, but THAT doesn't matter. Because everything from the very beginning of DAO has been 'influenced' by 'the ones from across the sea'.

Pardon me while I gag.

The entirety of THEDAS and everything that's ever gone wrong with it is the fault of 'the foreigners from across the sea who wear clothing that's kiiiinda a lot like a Burqa.' Y'know... the black over gowns and veils Afghani women and some other Muslim folks wear?

Cause... uh... yeah. That's a GREAT idea. I legitimately cannot believe they went there. I just... I can't. Bioware hasn't ever really been great on the racism front but I'd hoped they'd gotten at least a little bit better.

Nooooope.

There were a couple of mentions of something like 'the gathering storm' in Taash's quests and how she's a weapon against them. HUGE spoiler I'm sure, but I'm pretty sure they want to make a game that deals with 'the foreign invaders who have been subtly influencing everything wearing black burqas and veils' as the next Dragon Age. Or maybe they'll call it a spin off since it has to be getting close to the end of the actual Dragon Age in the calendar.

I really hope I'm not the only one who can see the issues there. Not that I expect Bioware to. Honestly? I used to pray that DAV would save Bioware. I've liked them as a company for a while, but this is it for me. I'm done.

I might enjoy the first three DA games occasionally if I feel like it. But DAV does not exist for me. Anything they make going forward does not exist for me. That fucking bullshit about no one having had any free choices in the entire history of the games/books/comics etc.? AND the next game's bad guys looking like they wear burqas?

Bioware has made my boycott list. And I honestly hope they sink like the fucking Titanic for the shit they've pulled in DAV and that last fucking scene.

With that scene, they not only shit on many cultures who veil, they shit specifically on Afghani people who are required to wear that. Whether they want to or not.

They also, from a writing perspective, removed every single bit of agency from any of their previous characters. Making every single game pointless in the history of the world.

I'm just done. My boycott list is pretty long. I have these pesky standards. I'd already compromised them by continuing on with playing Bioware games regardless of their well known issues. But nope. Done. Finite. Time to cut the rope and watch it sink.

I would never, in a million years, recommend this game. On those two reasons alone. But also because it doesn't do anything a good CRPG (Computer Role Playing Game) is supposed to do very well.

It doesn't hold up the Dragon Age expectations for anyone who has played the games or enjoyed the lore. They basically shoved all the lore under the proverbial carpet. (Must have made a hell of a lump. That's a LOT of Lore. Trust me. I know. I've marinated myself in it.) On the surface it LOOKS like a CRPG. It has the elements of one... but so few of the elements are carried through that it's kinda shocking to me that they dared to advertise it as one. I mean... didn't someone tell them pissing off people by advertising something they aren't delivering is a bad idea?

It's full of easily fixable plot holes. Seriously, they'd be so easy to fix! They just didn't bother.

Where DAI was an intricately woven adult CRPG masterpiece? DAV is a poorly woven bedsheet with arm sized holes in it and lots and lots of stains. Made for kids.

CRPGs have a long history. Bioware and Dragon Age do too. DAO came out in 2009, Dragon Age 2 released in 2011, both were solid CRPGs. You felt like you were playing a role playing game. Bioware then released DAI in 2014. And in the Dragon Age series, DAI is the crown jewel.

It had everything a CRPG is supposed to have. It wasn’t perfect, no, but it's definitely the best of all 4 games for being what it's supposed to be.

CRPGs generally do not challenge the player as far as manual dexterity or physical response time. That's for action/fighting games. I'm not a professional level gamer. But gaming is my number one hobby and source of entertainment. I play on hard level for most games I play, if not ultra hard. I struggled with the shitty DAV fighting system. Dear gods, who had the brilliant idea of tying accumulation of skill points to how high your bond is with your companions? That's just... the kindest thing I can say is poorly thought out. Especially when you can only take two of them with you on missions. My not-a-fucking-rogue should never have had aggro. And they always did. I'm intimately acquainted with the inside the mouth animations on the dragons.

RPGs are supposed to have intricate, layered world building, a levelling system that makes your characters grow and develop as they progress through a well developed world, often they have fighting, puzzles, and other mechanics to spice things up. But there's some very specific things an RPG needs. And DAV has so few of them. They focussed so much on that shitty gods damned fighting system that had my not-a-fucking-rogue always plastered with the 'come eat me' aggro flag that they failed to deliver on so much else that an RPG needs to have. Especially a CRPG.

I think I heard someone on the dev team say they were quite happy with how the characters and romances came out and um. Well. Might I politely suggest learning how to write better? Cause they weren't. From both a professional and consumer level? They just weren't good.

The characters were dishwater boring with no character development possible. The romances were... not. I'll just leave it there.

Those are a few things I KNOW I'm good at. Just because my fans have told me often enough that I've almost internalized it by now. What? Characterization, writing intimate scenes, and writing romance. My writing voice is very love/hate like many authors. If you love my voice and read kinky romance, you'd probably like it. If you don't like my voice? No story I tell will satisfy you. But from an editorial and writing standpoint? The characters and romances in DAV needed so much work. As much as the plot.

I'm no stranger to trauma. And yes. I did it to myself. I needed to play the ending for myself and I wanted to see what the game was like. I feel traumatized. Abso-fucking-lutely traumatized.

If you're Solavellan and looking for reviews to tell you whether it's worth buying and playing? It. Is. Not. On any level.

Oh and you know those Steam Achievements you get? At the beginning they were like in the high 90s and 80s percentages. The last two I got were from the end game. 2.2% and 6.8%. Respectively. According to my kid (who usually knows more than I do about things like that) that means people stopped playing before they got there. (Or possibly just haven't gotten there yet. I did play it reasonably fast because of my current circumstances.)

I really wish I could say better things about this game. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the other three. As much as I've loved most Dragon Age material. Something about it just captured me. Until DAV.

More professional review to follow at some point.

If my review series has been helpful... and I really really hate to ask, but if it has been? My work of words is my family's only income. My partner is still recovering from a broken back, and I'm recovering from a pulmonary embolism. Money is so tight it squeaks. If you're not gonna buy the game anyway after reading my blather, a tip would surely be appreciated.

All my links are at the bottom of my website. And the tips button up top is set up too.

My response to breaking media blackout.

[ihopesocomic]

Sorry for the mini-essay but I think people massively underestimate how much hard work and dedication goes into a Passion Project. People think that creators who make free content, who do their work as a hobby and not as a job, must only get enjoyment out of it.

That’s not how it works. Doing it purely because you want to doesn’t automatically make the more challenging, frustrating, or (gasps) TIME CONSUMING parts of the project any less burdensome. If anything, it makes it worse because you aren’t being paid for all of that labor. You’re just doing it for the sake of doing it, and as rewarding as it can be, it can also be demanding.

Im finally publishing a fanfic for the first time and don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to get feedback on my work and interact with a community. I love that there are usernames and profile pictures I can actually identify because they’re regulars on my work.

But does that mean I don’t have to constantly redo work because I don’t like how it turned out? No. Does that mean I always update on time? No. Never get burnout? No. I still very much go through all of the things paid writers do, because the Creative Process is difficult and demanding no matter what they paycheck is or isn’t.

And all of that is just if you guys WERE missing updates, which you’re NOT. So like… these complaints are not only very entitled and ignorant, but also just confusing. People really just be mad for the sake of being mad, I guess?

Anyways yeah, free content creators are still content creators, and passion-driven hard work is still hard work. You two are cranking out absolutely STUNNING visuals, compelling characters and engaging worldbuilding every single week and that’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work and I’m sorry about the twerps that don’t appreciate it enough!

Ah the price we pay for being human and having a brain, amirite haha

It's to be expected, to a certain point, that people simply don't understand that things like comics and cartoons take time. General impatience is something that can be ignored. If people asking for updates bothered us, we wouldn't post anywhere ever haha You gotta have at least SOME backbone if you want to do a comic. Or anything really.

Comics are a TON of work, and I knew this going in cuz I've done shorter comics before. It is not to be treated as if its easy. (Well, its easier than animating a whole series by yourself LOL) There's a lot of pre-comic planning that people don't tell you about. And that's just the stuff you have to do before you even start drawing. Of course this only applies to long-form storytelling, there's different rules for different kinds of comics.

And I won't even get into what it takes to making the comic itself, there's a lot of parts that need to be considered like formatting, time-management, what shortcuts you have to take to save on labor, and getting across as much information as you can in a short amount of time, while using mostly visuals. It's a skill, so it can be learned haha

A lot of doing comics is on-the-job training. Which I know can be frustrating for perfectionists, but from a reader's perspective, part of the joy of webcomics is seeing how far the art has come. And you can't exactly get out a webcomic if you keep redoing things over and over. You'll burn yourself out even faster. This is why it's important to have a plan lol it just makes it easier to adjust if you have to change things, than if you have no plan at all.

Even if RJ and I for whatever reason no longer felt passionate about this story, and wanted to move on to something else entirely, we wouldn't leave everyone hanging. We'd tell everyone what happens one way or another. Because too many people just abandon a story just to tell another one, and that's not fair to people who were here to read a story that appealed to them.

But the entitlement of people sucks, the constant heckling, the fact we can't moderate our own comment section, and more importantly Webtoons just sucks as a site anyway. - Cat

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Unexpectedly Yours: Part 8

Fandom: Ted Lasso (Regency AU)

Pairing: Roy Kent x F!Reader

Summary: Lord Roy Kent still has yet to marry. He hates the notion that marriage is a way to ensure your status in society. You have delayed your debut to society for years because of the same idea. So what happens when two people who hate the idea of marriage are constantly drawn to each other?

A/N: ive been waiting to use this gif...

Series Masterlist

Roy looked around seeing that everyone had stopped dancing, watching as you storm your way out of the ballroom. Eyes were glancing between your retreating and Roy's stunned look. He groans to himself and mumbles, "Fucking hell," promptly stomping his way out of the ballroom to follow you.

"Hey!" he calls out to you but you're ignoring him, "Stop!" he hollers again, following you to the gardens of the estate.

"Fuck," he grunts, picking up the pace and catching up to you, "Will you slow down for a moment?"

You whip around and push him back, "I've had enough of you!" you're seething, "Ever since you arrived, my world had revolved around you but not by choice! I'm tired of people telling me what to do. I'm tired of having this pressure to be with someone who doesn't want me! I'm tired of all of this!"

"Do you love Goodman?" Roy calmly asks.

"What?" you look at him confused.

"Because if you don't, then you shouldn't be with him. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by fucking lightning. Someone who you're excited to be the first thing you see when you wake and the last thing before you sleep. You deserve someone who will worship the ground you walk on, but also someone who challenges you. Someone who admires your tenacity and passion. Does Goodman do that?"

You stare at him in silence and so he continues, "You think I don't want you, but I do. God, I want you," he states. He pauses to wait for any kind of reaction but you remain silent, "Ever since I came here, you're all I've thought about. You've consumed my every being. You've brought life back into me...but I don't think I'm a good enough man for you. I don't think I deserve love and I struggle to let people in. But every time I see you with Goodman, I think about how much I would regret not even trying to fight for you."

"I'm sorry I've hurt you and caused you so much distress since arriving to Richmond. That was never my intention. If you want me to fuck off, I'll obey your wishes. But if you care for me just as much as I care for you, I will do anything you ask of me."

You stare at Roy in silence. You're completely stunned by his outburst of a confession, but hearing his love and adoration for you...it stirs something in you.

You immediately grab Roy by the lapel, pulling him to press your lips against his. He's taken but surprise but then you feel his hands cup your face. His lips moving against yours in the heat of the moment causing a fire to burn in your belly. You feel absolutely consumed by him in this kiss until-

"Y/N L/N!" your mother screeches and you immediately pull away, lips swollen and slightly out of breath.

Your mother is followed by your father, Keeley, Jamie, Jeffrey, and Clara. Your father is trying to calm your mother as she bounds towards you in a furry, "What on Earth do you think you two are doing?! Such a scandal!"

Roy steps forward, "Ma'am, I'm sorry-"

"You'll have to marry now!"

Your eyes widen, "Mother-"

"No! There's no choice now. You have to marry Lord Kent because if word gets out that not only you two were unchaperoned but also found in such a compromising position, you'll be ruined! Not to mention the disrespect on Mr. Goodman!" she gestures to Jeffrey and he looks at you with sympathy, but no malice. He gives you a nod and mouths, "It's okay," which already lightens the load on your shoulders.

Roy clenches his jaw, straightens his back and says, "I'll marry her."

You whip your head to Roy and you look at him in surprise. He completely turns to you and grabs your gloved hand, "I meant what I said, Y/N. Truly. If you'll have me, I will do anything you ask of me, anything to make you happy."

You find yourself breathlessly nodding, "I'll have you," you turn to your parents, "We'll marry."

Your mother nods in satisfaction, "Good. We'll be taking our leave then," she immediately grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you away.

Roy then steps up to your father, "Will you be available tomorrow afternoon to discuss affairs, sir?"

"I will, my Lord."

Roy nods and sees to walk back towards the house leaving behind your father, Keeley, Jamie, Jeffrey, and Clara.

Jamie claps Jeffrey on the shoulder, "Sorry, mate, looks like that courtship isn't happening."

Jeffrey shrugs, "As long as she's happy. However, I thought her and Lord Kent didn't get along."

Clara sighs, "It's complicated, but it seems they've uncomplicated it...finally."

_________________________

You don't listen to your mother as she scolds you throughout the entire ride back home. You stare out of the carriage with a small smile on your lips. The lips that Roy kissed.

Your father, noting the dreamy look on your face, sighs and places a hand on your mother's lap, "Darling, I think that's enough."

"But-"

"I'm not sure why you're upset, honestly. You wanted them to be together, yes?"

Your mother huffs, "Yes, but I didn't want it to happen so scandalously!"

"The only people who found them were us and her friends. I doubt they'll tell anyone."

"But-" your father gives her a pointed look and she drops the subject. She looks back at you, also noting the look on your face and she's no longer upset. You look so...in love. Your mother hopes that Lord Kent will keep his word and do everything to ensure your happiness.

____________________

When you arrive back home, you bid your parents good night and head upstairs. However, instead of going to your room, you head straight to Cece's.

You slowly open the door and peek in, "Cece?" you whisper.

You watch as she rolls in her bed, "Y/N?" she sits up, rubbing at her eyes, "Is something wrong?"

You slip into her room and sit at the edge of her bed, "I have some news that I think you'll like."

That seems to wake her up as she sits up in bed, "What is it?!"

You chuckle at her excitement, "Roy and I will be getting married."

Her eyes widen and jaw drops, "What?! Really?! Tell me everything!"

You giggle, "I will but let me change and I will come back and tell you everything."

She groans, "Y/N! No! Tell me now! I've been waiting for this for months!"

"Fine, fine," you pull your young cousin close and tell her the events of the night. She was squealing and jumping in her bed.

"I knew it! I knew it! I told you he loves you!"

"Ssshhh!!" you pull her back down, "Mother and father will be upset if they knew you're awake!"

"Well, that's your fault for waking me!"

You softly smile at your cousin, "You should go back to sleep now."

"I can't! I'm too excited to talk to Phoebe about this!"

You quietly laugh, "Well try your best to go back to sleep, hm?"

"I'll try," Cece says as she slips back under her covers. You pull them up to her chin and you kiss her head. As you walk back to her door, she calls for you, "Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad you and Roy are finally together. Now you live happily ever after."

You nod, "Thank you, Cece. Good night," you exit her room and softly close the door behind you.

You let out a deep breath and head to your room, ready to sleep after such an eventful night.

[crusherthedoctor]

Hey all, hope everyone's doing good. Thought I should give an update on my current perspective on things around here, as it's shifted for reasons I'll get into.

In a nutshell, I'm feeling better than before... but I also think it's time for me to semi-check out of current Sonic discussion.

By now, you all know that with the exception of Superstars and Dream Team - and Jimbotnik, because of course - I've not been enthusiastic about much of the current stuff. Whether that be the likelihood that they'll continue with a Frontiers direction, the SA2 milking that has made me more sick to death of its influence than I thought was possible, the Year of Shadow in general not being all that enticing if your top ten does not include him, IDW still causing the same repetitive back-and-forths with its characteristically terrible decisions and disproportionate praise from fans who don't actually buy the comic, various other bits and pieces that plant further Eggdad seeds into people's heads, a bunch of other stuff that I'm just apathetic about while everyone else goes crazy over them... it's not been a great time for me. I'm the Garfield, and the current direction is the Monday.

That would all be one thing, but as you may expect, it's the fandom that really irks me. I don't like how it's considered necessary to make every post a bestseller in order for your opinion to be seen as valid and insightful. I don't like how you're expected to not criticise something just because it's popular or "iconic". I don't like how everyone dedicates themselves to the same old lengthy discourse that will continue to not change anyone's minds either way, since the only people listening are the ones who already agreed with them. I don't like how you have Flynn/Archie/IDW stans on one side, and an increasingly common "Japan only, no one else should ever touch the series, also the Japanese fandom is the only one with good people in it, I was born in the wrong country uwu" mentality on the other side.

And... I don't like that I've brought these concerns up so many times before when I know it'll always fall on deaf ears. Why do I do this? Why do I bother? For the fandom, I guess. But if the fandom doesn't even respect me, if my words are always doomed to ring in an empty hallway, why should I bother?

While all this has been going on, the Paper Mario Thousand-Year Door remake has been on my mind quite a bit, as it has been for a lot of folk. As someone who has always loved TTYD, as well as the original N64 Paper Mario, I'm happy to report that I absolutely adore the remake, and quickly considered it a gold standard as far as faithful remakes go. :) There's a lot of reasons for that, but that's best for another time. Anyway, after a certain point, it occurred to me... hasn't it been a while since I've been able to just relax and join in on the hype for something? Hasn't it been a while since my opinion lined up with that of the majority? Hasn't it been a while since, regardless of not actually posting, I felt like I belonged somewhere, and wasn't being made to constantly feel like I'm worthless because I'm not an artist, animator, etc?

I think this is something I've been needing for a long time now. The irony of it coming from the bing bing wahoo man is not lost on me.

After how the past few years in the Sonic fandom have felt like a classroom more than anything, watching everyone repeat the same Why ___ Is Secretly Good/Bad three hour manifestos over and over, and flogging themselves for being Not-Japanese, can you see why the simple pleasures of "hehe Vivian :3" would appeal to me? Can you see why I'd prefer to unwind? I made a valiant effort, but now, I can't force myself to keep up with shit that I'm not passionate about for the sake of a community that doesn't care about what I have to say anyway. I need to find myself a place on here that I can be at ease with.

So what does this mean for my blog? Well, nothing too jarring, just that my focus may shift a little for the time being. Despite what all of the above may imply, I'm not turning in my Sonic badge. I still love the franchise, even if I'm not so fond of its overall current direction. And obviously, I still love Eggman, that'll never change. I'll still answer asks about the series, talk about things I like, reblog stuff I like, work on Stellar, spread Egg Propaganda, and so on. But unless I'm asked about them in certain contexts (ie: "how would you improve this character"?), I refuse to talk about IDW, Frontiers, or anything else whose contents and fandom circles cause me migraines.

Not because toxic positivity, but because after the joy of gushing over Vivian TTYD, and remembering the feeling of belonging, I can't do this again. I can't change Tails calling himself Wildly Inconsistent. I can't change The End being a nothingburger. I can't change Lanolin being an arsehole. I can't change Surge's shilling. I can't change how unprofessional the IDW crew is. I can't change what they're doing with Eggman, and various other characters. I can't change any of these things, no matter how much I or anyone else rants about them, and half the time, no one is seriously listening anyway. So many words for so little results. So I need to move on, stop wasting my time, and turn my attention on things that actually make me happy instead of just... deflated. Maybe if I do that, I can belong again. Maybe when the direction inevitably changes again in the future, it'll feel like it came faster.

So yeah. That's where I'm at now. I hope you guys can understand.

[witchycomic]

There’s been a bit of a lapse since Chapter 6, and I’m new to the Witchy scene so I don’t know whether the series is expected to continue, but will there be a Chapter 7?

I have full intention to continue Witchy! It's been on hiatus since 2021 due to me shifting focus to work full time on my graphic novel, Strange Bedfellows. I talked a little more about this in the news section at the end of chapter 6, here, but I think it's worthwhile for me to check back in now with an update.

I should be wrapping the bulk of the work on Strange Bedfellows in mid-January. I still have a second book deal with my publisher, but I am building that project and its schedule around me only working 4 days a week on it, leaving me time to flex my creative muscles on other pursuits; one of those being Witchy.

Lately, when the inspiration strikes (and I have ten minutes of free time), I've been chipping slowly away at the script for chapter 7. I am still very much excited for where the story of Witchy goes.

The front half of my 2024 is loaded with some work trips and getting started on my next book, but I would like for Witchy to be back around that midway mark at the latest. Realistically though, when it returns I don't want to promise that the updates will be weekly or punctual, as I've become quite burnt out working on my current book while juggling the fated work/life balance. I'll do my best to update with some frequency, but my priority is my sanity.

Sadly, despite my passion for it, Witchy is a project that no one has ever wanted to pay me 1 million dollars for so I can work on it full time until it's done, but maybe if I'm lucky I'll get netflix money for Bedfellows.

If you'd like to contribute to the "please Ariel for the love of god I need to know what happens next to Nyneve" tip jar, my patreon is full of behind the scenes work on Bedfellows, my next book, and of course, Witchy.

TL;DR: I'm hoping Witchy will be back around halfway through next year.

[laurfilijames]

All week I told myself that on Sunday, I was going to write all day.

I opened my laptop up for the first time in two weeks. I haven't written a word since I finished editing Expensive and tried for over an hour to work on my series Like My Dreams.

I thought about it all week and have been so eager to continue it, only the words won't come.

I know it's not for lack of passion or wanting to; I think about this story (and all the other ones) constantly.

I've been trying to deny some feelings for a while, or chalk it up to getting too much in my own head, but today it's come down heavier than ever and what is ultimately responsible for blocking my creativity and turning my love for my stories from thoughts into actual sentences.

I'm lonely.

I've never felt so alone.

The Charlie fandom seems to be relatively non existent, or just extremely quiet.

I have no space. No where I fit in.

I'm on the outskirts, trying to find a spot, constantly seeing if there is a way I can have a place for my ideas, stories, and even friendship, and have it hold some value to the others I'm around.

The more I post on here, the less I feel seen.

Engagement on this platform has reduced drastically across the board, and it's effecting so many artists.

It's not about numbers. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "your last fic has over 100 notes". Yeah. It does. Almost all of those notes are likes, and more than half the reblogs are my own.

What I'm seeking is engagement. Conversation. A likeness and kinship started by a common interest that blooms into simple conversations and thoughts shared.

Comparison is a bitch. I see so many people living the Tumblr life I wish to have. Asks, comments, reblogs of teasers and moodboards for upcoming fics screaming of excitement and praise and how eager they are to read it. People dropping everything they're doing to read the latest chapter of their friend's new fic.

I realize the many reasons why I'm in a different position than they are, but lately it's been screaming at me louder than ever that I'm lacking something meaningful or whatever I'm doing on here isn't enough.

I've tried creating a buzz around my stories. I am aware that most of the time I write for unpopular characters with a smaller fan base, so I set the bar lower but am still left feeling inadequate even when I write for the popular ones. Whenever I've shared snippets of WIPs in hopes to gain some excitement from my readers, it falls short. Usually it'll inspire me to keep going, to write better than ever and make this next fic The Best One that makes me so happy and excited to get out. (For Charlie, I'll say, and write something I'm so unbelievably proud of) and then sometimes it makes me wonder if I should bother continuing at all.

I know I am not owed anything by anyone and no one is obligated to read or comment or anything of the sort, and I am beyond grateful for the comments and support I do receive, and the friendships I've made, old and new.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at here, I just needed to write it down and "talk" it out.

I've been battling the decision to continue writing but not share it. I don't want that to happen, because as much as I write these stories for myself, a lot of the fun of it comes from being able to share it with all of you.

Nothing dramatic is happening. I'm not leaving, and I will be writing again because I'm not at all done with what I have to say about these characters, I just felt this needed to be said and already feel a little lighter by sharing it.

Write your stories, comment on your favourite fics, scream with your mutuals about a photo or gif that inspired something in you, tell your writer friends and writers you've never spoken to but love their stories just how much you do... I promise it makes more of an impact than you know. 💗