#i love this little flamingo guy hes so perplexing

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[sincerelyella]

Panty Hawk

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella)

Characters belong to Pixelberry; Ella Brooks Rys belongs to me.

A/N: Hello everyone! I was on a writing hiatus for a bit, school’s been hectic so I’m sorry if I have been lagging on my reading and writing - I miss ya’ll! So, this little one-shot was inspired by one of my favorite shows New Girl. I’m probably the only one who’ll find this funny LOL Their banter cracks me up and I just had to write something, hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Adult language, sexual innuendos

Words: 1259

Leo, Drake, Liam, and Maxwell were all sitting in the royal quarters enjoying some quiet, uneventful guy time. Hana and Ella were at the spa for the day and planned to do some shopping afterward.

Drake stood and placed his empty tumbler on the coffee table. “Let’s go, Rys! The washer is done!”

“Why do you insist on teaching Leo how to do laundry, Drake?” Liam inquired as he took a sip of his scotch.

“He asked me!” Drake called from down the hall. “He’s supposed to be getting married to Katie, and he wants to try to look somewhat normal.”

Liam shrugged and continued his conversation with Maxwell about how many peacocks he bought along with the bonus of five flamingos. “It was a great deal! Bertrand would never even know because it didn’t make a dent in the account!”

The guys continued throughout the day, drinking, playing poker here and there but never quite finishing the game because they’d get into a debate about how men can fake an orgasm. “I call bullshit, Rys! You can’t fucking fake that!” Drake yelled as he waved his tumbler in the air, spilling some onto his shirt.

“You can, Walker and I have. I can’t tell you how many times!” Leo lifted his tumbler to his mouth and took a sip of the amber liquid.

Maxwell suddenly stood from the table and wandered into the kitchen. “I’m going to make half a sandwich. Anyone want one?”

Drake furrowed his brow. “You can’t make a half sandwich. If it’s not half of a whole sandwich, it’s just a small sandwich.”

“What are you, the sandwich police?!” Maxwell called from the kitchen. “Do you want one or not?”

“Yeah!” All three men yelled in response.

“How’re you doing, Drake? You just broke up Lisa last week, didn’t you?” Liam gave Drake a sympathetic look.

“You’re free now, my man!” Leo clapped Drake on the shoulder. “We should go out! Get you a new one to latch onto.”

“I don’t need sex that badly, Rys, I’m not like you,” Drake grumbled into his tumbler filled with whiskey.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with wanting some strange ass,” Leo cackled. “I’m gonna be getting married, though, so I don’t need to do that anymore.”

Drake sighed as he placed his drink down onto the poker table. “Thankfully, all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.”

Liam choked on his drink and began to cough while Leo stared blankly for a full minute. “Yo, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, Walker!” Leo patted his brother’s back as he sputtered.

“Let’s just not talk about me and my love life, ok?!” Drake stood and wandered into the hallway towards the laundry room.

Maxwell returned to the living room moments later with three sandwiches on a plate, one in his hand that was already almost done. “I only found cheese and pickles. I didn’t see turkey, mayo, or mustard in the fridge.”

“So … you mean to tell me that this sandwich is just filled with cheese and pickles?” Leo quirked his brow at Max and then shifted his gaze to the sandwiches in front of him.

Maxwell shrugged. “That’s all the king and queen had in there.”

“Yeah,” Liam said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “We haven’t had it restocked in a while; it’s been kind of crazy.”

Leo grabbed a sandwich and stopped mid-bite when he heard Drake bellow from down the hall. “Leo! The dryer is done, get over here!”

“Fuck.” He mumbled and set down his food to see about the laundry. He walked towards Drake and saw a perplexed look on his face. “What’s going on?”

“I think … Ella left her underwear in the dryer.” Drake eyed the panties and then shifted his gaze to Leo.

“Uhh, okay, so what’s the big deal? You’ve seen women’s underwear before. Just grab it and let’s go, I’ve got a gross sandwich waiting for me out there.” Leo gestured with his thumb towards the living area.

“I’m not touching Ella’s underwear, Rys!” Drake hissed.

“What the fuck, Walker! They’re just granny panties. Can you move?” Leo pushed Drake out of the way and reached into the dryer to grab the underwear in question. He pulled his hand back out and looked down to see a lacy red thong dangling from his fingers. “Oh shit!” Leo threw the thong back into the dryer and stared in horror at his hand. “Fuck! Why didn’t you say it was a thong?!” Leo whirled around and ran into the living area. “I did a bad thing.” He blurted out suddenly, and both Liam and Maxwell looked at him curiously.

“Does it affect me?” Max asked as he dealt the cards out.

“No.”

“Then suffer in silence.”

Leo huffed in frustration and turned his attention to his brother. “Liam! Can I move Ella’s clothes out of the dryer?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, thanks!” Leo turned to run back to Drake.

“Wait, Leo, why are you asking?”

“You’re not sniffing it, or anything, are you, Leo?” Maxwell snorted.

Leo turned back around and glared at Max before he met Liam’s gaze. “NO. I just wanted to be respectful, since you know, you’re married now.”

Liam arched his brow and waited for Leo to give him the real answer. “Okay, her thong is in there, man! I touched them by accident.”

“What’s the big deal?” Max questioned as he drained his drink. “Ella taught me how to do laundry, and when I’d come over, I would move her panties hundreds of times.”

“Hundreds of times? What’re you doing? Just hanging around the dryer, like some sort of panty hawk?!” Leo accused.

“Ha! Panty Hawk. I’d totally watch that show!” Max moved to sip his drink again and realized it was empty.

Drake waltzed into the living area with the laundry basket in his hands. “Okay, who is gonna move the thong?!”

“Max, why don’t you do it? I’m feeling a little dizzy from the scotch right now.” Liam rubbed his forehead.

Maxwell stood. “Are they warm from the dryer still?”

Liam’s head shot up instantly. “You know what, no, you’re out! None of you can touch her thong.” He stood slowly and walked towards the laundry room, pushing past Leo and Drake.

“I didn’t know it was a thong, Liam! I thought it was granny panties!” Leo followed behind his brother, Maxwell trailing behind, giggling behind the both of them.

“Oh, so it’s okay to touch my wife’s underwear when they’re granny panties?!”

“Well, you move it then!”

“What am I? The thong remover?!”

“YES! She’s your wife!”

About 30 minutes later, Ella and Hana walk into the quarters to find Leo, Drake, Maxwell, and Liam gathered around the dryer. Maxwell had on large yellow gloves that are used to wash dishes with and was holding a reaching stick with Ella’s red thong hanging at the end of it. All the men froze as they turned to see Hana and Ella standing there with their hands on their hips.

“What the hell is going on?” Ella demanded. Her eyes met her husband’s, and he smiled at her nervously.

“Oh hi, love! You’re home early.” Liam sidestepped the guys and walked towards Ella.

“Babe, why does Maxwell have someone’s thong?”

“Nobody wanted to move it but me, El! But, I didn’t mind moving your underwear.”

Ella looked around at all the men in her living room. “Um, that’s not mine.”

[prettyboongi]

BTS Reaction - They React To You Giving Them a Gift

[Note: Hello readers! This is my first BTS fanfic with actual dialogue. I’ve been working on this for awhile and I feel pretty proud of the results. I really hope you all enjoy. Bye!}

Seokjin 

“I’m home!,” Seokjin yells as he walks into the living room of the apartment you two share. He has had a long and stressful day at the studio so seeing the sight of you walking towards him wiped away any tiredness he’s been feeling. 

“Hey baby,” you greet him. You wrap your arms around his neck and give him a tender kiss. “How was your day?”

“Super exhausting,” he sighs, “I’m just glad I’m finally home though”. Before he goes in for another kiss, you stop his mouth with your manicured hand. 

“Wait,” you said as you released yourself from his embrace. “I got something for you. Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

“Oh honey, you didn’t have to give me anything,” he says as he complies with your instructions.  

“No peeking!,” you playfully exclaim. You lightly jog to the next room to grab his present and once you return you place the present in Jin’s hands. “Okay, open.” 

Jin opens his eyes to see a paperback book in his hands. He lets out a lighthearted laugh as he reads the title: 101 Jokes That Will Make Anyone Laugh Out Loud. “What’s this?” 

“I found it when I was out running errands today. It made me think of you, my little comedian”. 

To the average person, this gift would come off as weird and cheesy but you knew that how perfect it was for Jin since he was the embodiment of weird and cheesy. And best of all, you loved putting a huge smile on his face. 

Jin leans in and lovingly kisses your cheek. “I absolutely love it. Thanks darling, now I can’t wait to unleash these genius jokes on the guys.” 

You knew that the guys will come to hate Jin for constantly belting out awful jokes from the book and will hate you for giving Jin the cursed book. Hey, maybe deep down inside, annoying the boys was your intention. But at the end, putting a smile on your man’s face was the true icing on the cake. 

Yoongi

Yoongi was held up in his studio, diligently working on some tracks for his mixtape when he got a call from you. 

“Hey,” he flatly answers. 

“Hey, Yoongi,” you reply in a chipper voice. “I’m heading toward your studio right now. You still working on the mix-tape?” 

“Yeah, still working. Why’re you coming over? Did you leave something here?” 

“Can’t I just pay my loving and hardworking boyfriend a visit?” you cooed. 

On the other side you could hear suck the air through his teeth. “I dunno (Y/N). I still have a lot to work on.” 

“I won’t stay for long, just five minutes tops. I promise,” you say reassuringly. 

Yoongi hesitates at first but soon agrees to the quick visit. “Sure, come over. You remember the code, right?”

Fifteen minutes later, you finally arrive at Yoongi’s studio. Before punching in the room’s code, you took a moment to make sure you have everything together. Even though it was just going to be a quick visit, you still wanted to look cute for your industrious boyfriend. And most importantly, you made sure that you had the one thing that was the whole point of the visit, which was safely in your tote bag. 

You walk into a slightly dim yet warmly lit room. Besides the several energy drink cans and empty Starbucks cups, the studio wasn’t terribly messy. Once he notices your presence, Yoongi swivels his chair to face you. 

  “Jeez,” you start, “you look like absolute shit.” And you weren’t exaggerating. With his ruffled bleached hair, his bags under his eyes and his skin paler than usual, he looked like a zombie. 

Yoongi gives you a tired smile. “You’d look like this if you’ve been working 16 hours straight.” He gets up to give you a quick peck on the lips. “Wish I looked as good as you right now.” 

‘Oh I bet,” you respond as you cheekily flip your hair. “Got something for you.” Excitedly, you slip off the tote bag from your shoulder and hand it to Yoongi. 

Yoongi takes the bag, utterly surprised and a bit flustered. “Babe, you really shouldn’t have.” 

“Go ahead, open it, “ you insisted. 

Yoongi gives you a quick smile before looking into the bag. “What?,” he says with his left mouth agape. He pulls out a black fleece blanket, perfectly folded and tied with a silver ribbon. 

With glee, you exclaim, “It’s a blanket! I know you’ve been taking nap breaks here and even spend some nights here during times like this. Well, I thought if you’re locking yourself in your studio, you might as well stay nice and cozy. Do you like it?” 

“Like it? I absolutely love it,” he answers, showing off his gummy smiles that you adored so much. After setting the blanket down, he gently places his hands on your hips and pulls you into a big hug. “Whenever I get to use it, I’ll always think of you.” 

“Hope you’ll let me use the blanket whenever I visit you” you say into his ear. 

With a mischievous smile, his says to you, “Well, since you are cute and thoughtful… maybe.” 

Hoseok

“Hey, Hobi! Guess what I found?,” you yelled as you barge into your living room. Hoseok was sitting at the kitchen island, scrolling through Twitter, when you surprised him with your abrupt arrival. 

“What?” he asks. 

“This!”. You pulled out what was behind you and revealed a tall and kitschy pink flamingo lawn stand. It was as if the thing was pulled from a 1950s shopping catalog. 

Hoseok smiled but honestly didn’t know how to react. “Uh, why do you have that?”

You set the flamingo between you two, bright pink and standing on one leg with all its glory. “On my way back from my walk, someone in our neighborhood was having a yard sale. And you know me, I don’t pass out on any yard sale I stumble across. And while I was looking at all of the so corny shit they had there, this eventually came to my sight and it called to me: Buy me (Y/N).” You gave the 3ft tall flamingo a friendly slap. 

Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh at your spontaneity, one of the reasons he fell for you. “ So I’m guessing you wanna put it out on our front lawn for all to see." 

"Nope,” you pushed the pink plastic beauty towards Hoseok. “This is my gift to you and you only." 

"Really? Why’s that?”. 

“Well when I first noticed this thing, it instantly made me think of you.” Hoseok raises one of his eyebrows as you continue. “I mean, flamingos -this one and real ones- are cool, lively and flamboyant, exactly like you.”

Hoseok quietly examines the flamingo. “This thing,” he thought, “was gaudy as all hell”. It was half your size, the color of it was an obnoxious shade of pink and it was plainly super cheesy. But seeing how happy it made his loving girlfriend and it’s a gift just for him, Hobi had no choice but to love this monstrosity. 

He picks up the flamingo and gives you a warm, heart shaped smile. “This is such an awesome gift. I love it, and you, so much." 

Namjoon 

"Okay no peeking!" 

You were leading your boyfriend Namjoon towards the front yard of your home. 

"Please don’t tell me you bought me a car,” said Namjoon, trying to his excitement. 

You scoff. “Please, on my salary? But I promise it’s just as good and fancy as a car, maybe even better.” Once you reached where you placed his gift, you stopped him with your hands still covering his eyes. “Okay, are you ready?” When he nods his head, you take your hands off. “Open!,” you shout. 

Namjoon opens his eyes to see a light gray tandem bike about two feet away from him. He turned to you, with a puzzled look on his face. “A tandem bike?” He’s flashing a huge smile, his adorable dimples included, but is still perplexed over such a random gift. “It isn’t my birthday and I’m definitely certain it isn’t your anniversary either." 

You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his waist. "I know but I’ve always wanted to ride a tandem bike with someone and luckily you already like going out on bike rides. I thought it was perfect, something we can share together." 

Namjoon had to admit that the gift was super thoughtful and that he was lucky to have someone to share his interests with. He can already anticipate the stares and silent judgment from strangers the moment they take a load of the bike, but he didn’t care. A gift from you,  even something as eccentric as this, is something to be cherished. 

Namjoon held you from your behind and kissed you on top of your head. He then tilts your head back so you can look up at him, simply to ask, "You wanna go for a ride?" 

Jimin

It was Valentine’s Day, your favorite holiday for two reasons. One, because you have always been a sucker for anything romantic and sentimental. And two, because you get to spend it with your sweet boyfriend Jimin. Ever since you two started dating, Valentine’s Day was one of the few holidays where you two splurge and get something special for each other. It wasn’t about whose present was more expensive, it was more about the gesture of buying something with your true love in mind. 

And this year, you’re feeling pretty proud of yourself with what you’ve gotten for Jimin. You knew him like the back of your hand, which made gift shopping for him even more easy. 

This year, Jimin planned out date night for you two: just a quiet and sensual dinner at home. With candles, rose petals, champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, the works. He even took the time to make a delicious meal for two, something he normally doesn’t do. With all of his hard work, you couldn’t help but fall in love with him all over again. 

After dinner and a few glasses of champagne, you two found yourselves passionately kissing on the couch in your dimly lit living room. You were so busy distracted by his soft lips and his strong arms, you had almost forgotten about his gift. You playfully push him away from you and say to him, "Before this escalates to something else, I wanna give you your Valentine’s day gift." 

"Come on, baby, can we wait until a little be later?” he says in a husky voice as he tries to pull you back in. 

You push his chest again. “No, I really wanna give it to you now,” you pout. 

“Well me as well but you’re exactly helping." 

You give him a look, "Jimin…" 

He lets out a quiet laugh all the while cupping your face. "I’m just teasing, honey. Of course you can give your gift." 

You then leaned towards the glass coffee table in front of where you two were sitting, grasping at the rectangular box with box hands. The box was plain white that was tied by a dark red ribbon. "Here, Happy Valentine’s Day,” you cheerfully say, placing the gift in on his lap. 

With great anticipation, Jimin untied the ribbon and opened the box. He took out and held up what was inside: an extremely soft, cream colored cashmere sweater. Jimin couldn’t help but break out a huge smile on his face, you knew him so well. “Thank you, baby, this is such a sweet gift.” He was about to try it on when you stop him. 

“Maybe you should wait until later to try it on,” you say as a confused look appeared on his face. “I mean why put something on when you’re just gonna take it off in the next couple of minutes. 

With biting your bottom lips and giving him hungry looks, it was good of an invitation Jimin could take. 

Taehyung 

It was late afternoon by the time you got to Taehyung’s apartment. Three weeks since the last time you two were together ever since the incident. As you stood in front of Taehyung’s door, memories from that very day flood your mind, as vivid as it happened the other day…

"Hey (Y/N) please put that down!,” Taehyung pleads to you as you picked up his most prized possession: his very first camera, given by his great aunt when he was a child. 

You ignore him as you walk around his bedroom, examining the object as if it was your first time seeing it. “Relax Tae, I just wanna take a look at it.”

“You’ve seen it a million times before. I’m not messing around!”

Out of annoyance, you sighed and walked over to hand it to him. However, on your way to Taehyung, you trip over your own shoes like the moron that you are, losing your balance with the camera flying out of your hands. As you fall to the ground, you hear the sound of the camera hitting the wood flooring with a sickening crash. While not totally shattering to pieces, several parts were broken off and scattered across the ground. There’s a brief silence as Taehyung got up then crouched down to his broken camera. He examined his precious gift while you finally stood up. 

“Tae, I-,” you opened before Taehyung stopped you with a raised hand. 

“I told you to not mess with this. You knew how important this camera is to me,” he says with a steady yet clearly angry tone. He looks at you, his expression looks like he’s about to explode. 

“I know, I’m so sorry,” you attempt to help him pick up the scattered pieces but it stops you again. 

“Just… please leave." 

"Tae-" 

"Leave! I mean it!" 

You grimace as you remember him raising his voice at you, something he has never done with you. You and Taehyung have been best friends for years, and sure there’s been plenty of times when your foolishness has caused him grief, you knew that you really fucked up this time. Seeing him so angry and hurt broke your heart and him icing you out ever since hasn’t helped at all. You tried calling and texting him a hundred times but of course he hasn’t responded to any. The only reason you knew that he was home was because you wouldn’t quit badgering Jimin for information. 

"I really hope it works out, (Y/N),” Jimin said to you earlier today. 

I hope so as well, you thought to yourself. You gave a few loud knocks on his door and waited patiently. On the other side, Taehyung looked through the eye hole and sighed. Once you opened the door, you were instantly happy to see his face but that quickly changes when you notice the stoic look on his own.  

“What are you doing here, (Y/N)?, he asks with his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

You nervously chuckled. "Just came to pay a visit to my best friend.” You see him raise his eyebrow in disbelief and sighed. “Can I please come in? I just wanna talk”. 

Taehyung was still furious at you and frankly wasn’t ready to see you, let alone speak to you. But the sad but hopeful look in your eyes weakened him inside. He moves aside and gestures to you to come inside his apartment. 

As you both sit down on his sofa, you anxiously try to avoid Taehyung eye contact. He was staring right into you, waiting for you to speak. “Well?" 

You clear your throat before you begin to speak. "First things first, I just wanna say that I’m so sorry for not listening to you and breaking your camera. I’ve been feeling terrible ever since then-" 

"Yeah, imagine how I felt,” he interjected. 

“Right,” you gave out a nervous chuckle. Wow he is not gonna make this easy for me, you thought to yourself.“ 

"Also,” you began again, “this time apart has got me thinking. About how much our friendship truly means to me. And that I’m truly lost without you.” Taehyung’s eyes widened a bit while you felt your face getting hot from embarrassment. It was true; Taehyung was the sunshine of your life. You loved how comfortable you were with him. Every text and phone called lifted your spirits. He was alway available whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on. You loved how much of a  caring and friendly guy he was. You, in every sense of the word, loved him. "Um I got your something,” you said as you reached in your bag. 

Taehyung, whose expression has softened, wasn’t expecting you to get you anything. Or to say you were lost without. “You really didn’t need to buy anything…” He stops once you take out his present from your bag. A camera, nothing like the vintage one his great aunt gave him but rather one of those cute mini instant cameras you’d see on some Tumblr aesthetic blog. Okay, Taehyung really wasn’t expecting that. 

“I know it isn’t the same camera your aunt gave you and I can’t afford to buy a fancier one,” you said in a rush, “but I hope this makes up for what I did. Even by a little bit”. 

Taehyung takes the package and takes a look at it. After a moment, he burst into a fit of laughter. 

Flustered again, you said, “Yeah I know its dumb but I thought it was kinda cool, so…” You trailed off as you couldn’t find the words to finish. It was only when Taehyung finally stopped laughing he took your hand and tenderly held it in his. Jolting a bit, you looked up at him. He was smiling at you. 

“Thank you, (Y/N). This really means a lot." 

You couldn’t help but break out a happy smile. "So, you’re not angry at me anymore?,” you ask. 

Taehyung caresses the back of your hand before answering. “After getting a present like this, from someone like you, how can I be?”

Jungkook

It was Jungkook’s birthday and tonight you, him and the boys were spending an intimate dinner party at your home. Even though you two have been together for only 4 months, you knew you were hopelessly in love with Jungkook and wanted to throw an amazing birthday dinner. You spent the entire day cleaning up your home, running last minute errands, cooking up a fabulous (or at least edible meal), and made sure you looked drop dead gorgeous by the time everyone arrived. 

Dinner was heartily eaten, drinks were drank, jokes were made, everyone was having a great time. And to make things even better, Jungkook looked like he was having a fantastic time. He’d give you quick, loving glances throughout and occasionally squeezed your thigh from time to time. “You look so good tonight, babe” he whispered to you at one point, “I can’t wait when these fools leave and we move this party to the bedroom.” While not the most romantic thing to say but honestly what’s not to love about that? 

Once dinner and dessert was finished, it was time for the finale to this shindig. “Time to open presents!”, you squealed enthusiastically. You suggested that the order of the present giving should go from oldest of the group and ended with you being last. You anxiously wait as each person presented their gifts to Jungkook. You even had to rush some people who decided to break out in a speech (looking at you Jin and Namjoon). Once Taehyung’s turn was over, you were finally up. 

“Wow, you really are excited, (Y/N),” says Jimin

“I actually can’t wait to see myself,” Hoseok follows with.

You hand a perfectly wrapped box to your boyfriend, “I hope you love it, Kookiepants.” You give him a quick peck on his cheek as he carefully unwraps his gift. The whole room is silent in anticipation once Jungkook opens the box and looks inside. He holds up a black t-shirt while studying the front side. 

“A plain t-shirt?” Namjoon asks quizzically, “Doesn’t he already have enough of those?”

Jungkook silently shakes his head and turns the front side of the shirt to face the boys. It turns out to be not just a shirt but a shirt with the picture from their dates early in their relationship; a day spent at Disneyland. The picture showed Jungkook holding by the waist as you take a selfie of the both of you. 

“How…” Taehyung begins

“Nauseatingly cheesy,” Yoongi finishes. 

“Come on, Yoongi,” Jin says, “I think it’s pretty adorable”. 

“Coming from the king of cheesiness himself,” Yoongi fires back. 

You ignore the other’s banter and turn to Jungkook. “So,” you start, “do you like it?" 

Jungkook stares at the image on the shirt before turning his eyes to you. Suddenly, he cups your face and crashes his lips to yours. This abrupt action surprises you initially but you soon relaxed into his embrace, passionately kissing him back. 

This was such a very romantic moment for the two of you that you two haven’t noticed the awkwardness you two caused amongst the members. 

Jin tried to loudly clear their throat to break your heavy makeout session but you two wouldn’t budge. 

Namjoon then says quietly, "I guess it’s our time to leave”. The others silently filled out of the apartment, all the while you and Jungkook were lost in your own little world. What the boys didn’t know was that after they left, two finally broke away from each other. Still holding on to you, Jungkook tells you he loves you for the first time. And of course, you said it back to him.