#i love their sibling relationship so much

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

... Someone tell me why my bitch ass "Christian Wiccan" half niece who's two years younger than me, married, and lives on a pig farm gets to be the one to call my father "papa" and thinks she can get on video chat with my two other fuck ass half siblings while I'm still in the house and in ear shot, right next her... Because she " Just wanted to speak to her 'papa' on Christmas! UWU" and thought that I wouldn't call her out on her bullshit when the last time she texted me, personally, it was to tell me to "never speak to her again" and that I was "so mean" for suggesting she was independent enough to cut ties with both her antivaxxier parents if she wanted a functioning relationship with me and after discovering her own father had a collection of literal nazi shit in his house on top of being anti vaxx, after me and my father were the only ones in the family to make the 4hour drive upstate for her wedding reception her own 'papa' was so proud of how quickly I realized I hated my eldest half brother and wanted to bail ...And then while explaining that I got saucy and told her how her 'papa' couldn't even remember her own name the other day and called her 'Tiffany' and she wouldn't stop passively aggressively buzzing my phone with little reaction emoji despite claiming how "done" she was with my arguments and complaining how she got COVID from her own wedding reception her family also had us drive 4hours to so I finally just say basically that what she gets for not just cutting off her neo nazi, antivaxxer parents when she knows she has all the means and privilege to so I tell "Tiffany" to stop buzzing my phone and me quiet, and then pretty much right the fuck after she sends that last text telling me how mean I am and how I'm to never speak to her again, I immediately receive another, completely unhinged, unprompted, all caps text from this girls psycho, antivaxxer, neo nazi fucker mother (despite the fact I'd been waiting to have That Big Cut Off Conversation with her parents until I at least had worn my niece about it first and so the last time I talked with my 'Big Sissy In-Law' /her Fuckass name for her title, not mine/ it was to tell me how much she missed me and loved me and how much she couldn't wait for us to make the 4hour drive up there so her and her fuck ass husband who she compared to lord farquaad from shrek could give my birthday gifts I never ended up accepting, which yes I had to skip out on having a 30th birthday celebration in order to be able to afford attending the wedding reception my niece was having the same month, and yes we did up getting into our last fight because she immediately assumed I was shallow enough to want all of the gifts I sent her back and money, and that I shouldn't have been upset about her parents being anti vaxxer nazis at all ... Thanks for asking/) that read basically: "NEVER CONTACT MYSELF, MY HUSBAND, OR MY DAUGHTER AGAIN, YOU JUDGEMENTAL LITTLE BRAT!!!!!!!!!"

... But yes, tell me why after all that I had the smartphone snatched away from me with my fuck ass little bitch ass Rose Armitage Amanda Palmer Ass White Witch who Still makes Harry Potter References in 2024 (because her antivaxxer, neo nazi fucker mom is most likely also a TERF) Poser Ass Little Snitch Ass Niece Smiling Smugly in my face after trying to speak to me again while pretending those last two text exchanges never happened between us because she apparently forgot to inform my fuck ass half sister, who've I've also disowned with all my spirit, about the new boundary that her and her and her side of her family had imposed upon me, after all the creepy grooming and single bout of verbal and capslock abuse they had subjected me to for over a year after intending to become my new caregivers entirely behind my own families back... And I was just trying to give her an unfriendly fucking reminder that our new 'NO CONTACT' RULE that she namely went and snitched on me and got her typhoid mother to cement and established for us, goes both ways, but that's just like how my estranged Big Brother used his unhinged wife and daughter to get to me, so the cycle continues, I guess ...

Awh, Tiffany The Tiny Snitch wants to speak to her "Papa"? Then she can do it when "Papa"'s Actual Daughter doesn't live in the house that her backwards ass, Mason Verger ass family came down here to announce they were already preparing to try and take her away from LAST CHRISTMAS because "We know that 'PAPA' is Aging Out TM and we don't want you to End Up In A Group Home Again so we've already been planning to Take You In TM along with the small group of African Children I'm personally planning on adopting for myself and my husband and I hope you don't mind not knowing about our 'Secret Plan' we've been making for you to live with my mom and dads antivaxxer asses for the rest of your life behind your and you had absolutely no say in it and we still don't want you to tell PAPA yet for Some Reason but I guess that just means that ur super obligated to come to my Wedding Reception now especially since we've just waltz in announced to you secret how you'll be Living With Us after PAPA passes and we won't be taking know for an answer even tho you're pretty sure you haven't actually SEEN any of us since I was 8 and were 10... UWU Hey 'PAPA' do u want any of my bougie banana weed? No? UWU OKAY BYE AUNTIE SEE AT MY WEDDING RECEPTION I SWEAR MY PARENTS TOTALLY AREN'T ANTI VAXXER NEO NAZI TERF ASS MONSTERS! UWU TEEHEEHEE!!!! :D"

And it's like bitch you think your 'Papa' wants to talk to you? What makes you think his and your parents backwards ass universes revolved around anything other me, again like your 'Papa' didn't personally drive me home again for four hours and allowing me 200 dollars in basically made up birthday money because of how hard it was realizing I had to disown my brother, your actual dad, and basically you, by extension, for being a willing enabler? Ruining both my Christmases with that shit... literal sickos.

So yeah after she thought she could hop on and off the phone with that fake shit and have everyone apologize on my behalf like I ruined the holiday, I sent her one final text basically reminding her again, how we'd be heeding the rule that she had her own mother enforced upon me very seriously, which basically also meant that, she was also never to contact me, her "Papa", anyone who lives in MY house, or use any one else's phones to try and contact anyone who lives here while I still lived here and was in ear shot to hear it happening EVER again, or there would be problems. I also told her that if she or anyone in her family ever tried to bring their typhoid asses down here and touch me or my things and play all nicey cutie to me or anyone else's faces when (practically) everyone claims to be on my side and knows what happened, but her and her family continues to pretend like nothing happen and that those text messages were never exchanged and that she and her mother didn't set those boundaries for us again then she, her mother, and her father would be receiving a personal masked up ass beating from me, one right after the other.

My niece had tumblr, by the way... But she literally only ever used it to post F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Nutella and it was really sad.

My niece also has a TIKTOK, which she features her own parents in frequently and I am thinking about taking this there when I have the Spoons and if the wheelchair user hating algorithm doesn't eat me up.

... Every person in my family is Fake and thinks they can dish it but never take it I swear to god.

And yeah, White People who have Pet Names (because that's what they are) for their grandparents.... are perverted and gross.

(And my dad should've probably never introduced me to the "brother" who was also old enough to be my dad and made me cry meeting my niece because I was too young to be an aunt and thus fucked up how I feel about age dynamics in relationships forever...

Case and point every time I see someone call Ron Perlman a "grandpa" I'm like ... That is my DILF who gave me my kinks... The fuck are you talking about?

... By contrast I was going to make a joke about Jeremy Irons being a grandpa because for some reason I thought he must've been 90something with the he looks by now, but I've also been watching a lot of the OG DARK SHADOWS and I guess that's what Being British does to you...

Call Russell Brand a Grandpa, Niel Gaiman, I don't know...

"Grandpa" is a Slur that should be reserved for the worst of them and if you actually take me saying that literally, that's on you... But yes, I do realize that My Experiences are Not Universal ...

Though next time some bitch ass tiny bean witch comes into my house, calls my own father "Papa" and starts insinuating that he's too old to take care of me anymore while completely ignoring my mothers existence and going back and forth peddling "home made" skin care products and bitch ass banana weed to my father and divulging "An Escape Plan" to me behind his back because her fuckass neo nazi daddy told her to? Again, people are going to going to get their ass beat is what I'm saying ....)

THIS IS KILLING ME

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Transcript below the cut:

Iris: Is this your move then? You invite women back to your place to check out your record collection? Ezra: [shrugs] I work with what I have. Iris: Not even properly displayed, just thrown on the floor. Ezra: They’re not thrown— [exhales] Are you going to spend the whole night criticizing me? Iris: I might. It’s kinda my thing.

Ezra: Ahh. Okay. I think I get it. Iris: Get what? Ezra: You. Iris: Oh really?

Ezra: Mhm. You criticize people to keep them on the defensive because it keeps the spotlight off you. It’s a clever way to avoid being vulnerable, but I can’t imagine it serves you well. Iris: Ooh someone took a semester of psych in college. Very impressive.

Ezra: Two semesters, actually. Iris: Even better. Ezra: How about you put on a record, and I’ll pour us some wine, and then we can relax on the couch while you tell me something about yourself. Something real. Iris: Well, I won’t turn down the wine.

Iris: Okay. So, what do you want me to tell you? What qualifies as “something real”? Ezra: Hmm… Are you close with your family? Iris: I am, yeah. Ezra: What are they like?

Iris: My parents are very kind and generous people. My mom genuinely loves everyone she meets, it’s the weirdest thing, but it’s true. My brother is like that too, loves people. Ezra: How many siblings do you have? Iris: Just the one. And, honestly, I think he’s my best friend. He’s the one person I can talk to about anything.

Ezra: That must be nice. Iris: It is. What about you? Are you close with your family? Ezra: Not as close as I used to be. My parents are quite conservative and… traditional. We don’t see eye-to-eye on much these days.

Iris: What about siblings? Ezra: I have three older sisters. They’re all married with children, so I have eight nieces and nephews. I haven’t seen them since moving here. They’re all busy and far away, you know how it is. But I try to send them gifts for their birthdays and Winterfest.

Iris: Eight? Wow. Do you like being an uncle? Ezra: Yeah, it’s great. Iris: My brother and his husband are having twins, so my first niece and nephew are on the way. Ezra: That’s exciting, you’re gonna love it.

Iris: Is it hard being away from your family? Ezra: Sometimes. I’m happy here, but I do miss them, and I miss being surrounded by family all the time. Iris: Well, if you ever meet my mother, I’m sure she’ll adopt you straight away. It’s what she does. Ezra: Sounds good to me. When can I meet her?

Iris: [wrinkles her nose] Bit soon for that. Ezra: Yeah, probably. But it does feel like we might have something special here, you and me. Don’t you think? Iris: Yeah, it does.

Iris: But, um [sighs]… Look, my last relationship was… bad… so I’m gonna need to take this slow. Ezra: No problem. We can take things as slowly as you need to. Iris: Thank you.

Iris: I should get home. Ezra: No, it’s late. You can stay here tonight. I’m happy to sleep on the couch. Iris: I can’t. I have an early appointment. Ezra: Alright. Do you want a ride home? Iris: No, I’ll be fine, I promise, it’s not far.    Ezra: Are you sure? Iris: I’m sure. Maybe I can stay over tomorrow night, if you’re free. Ezra: I’d like that.

[onlyplatonicirl]

The relationship I've written between Dream and Nightmare is complex, and i need to talk about them right now or else i will blow up violently.

Dream loves his brother so much and knows that the corrupted version of his brother STILL IS his brother, but its a corrupt version - a bad version. Dream wants to find a way to reconnect, to get what he had in the past back, to find a way to bring nightmare back to the person he once was so they can have a loving sibling relationship again because that is his fucking brother and he knows him and he knows WHY nightmare turned into this in the first place and doesn't fault him for it. But he wants his brother back.

But WITH THIS MINDSET, HE UNKNOWINGLY KEEPS FURTHERING THEIR CHANCES OF EVER REUNITING BECAUSE HES SO FIXATED ON MAKING HIS BROTHER "BETTER" HE DOESN'T TRY TO LOVE HIS BROTHER AS HE IS NOW

Nightmare is never going to change back into who he used to be, the scars run too deep and the wounds are still bleeding. He cannot ever go back to what he used to be, and he doesn't want to, but some deep part misses not the village and the life he lived, but his brother. and he knows in his heart that his brother will never love him as he is now because he sees Dream as obstinate and selfish, furthering HIS chance of ever meeting Dream in the middle as well. They both stand at opposite ends of the field and expect the other to come over to their side, knowing that neither of them will ever move.

NOT TO MENTION It's not even a matter of obstinance from both of them, Nightmare is literally committing atrocious acts due to his shifted moral compass and reliance on negativity to feed his power. Dream doesn't even blame him for this, he blames it on the corruption, as if that is not one in the same with his brother at this point. Dream feels like even if he did take that first step, it is so violently against his own moral compass to side with or support things that hurt other people, he cannot in good faith make any attempt to try and defend or support Nightmare in literally anything. Nightmare knows who he is and what he has become and has accepted it. It's like the Zootopia thing with Nick Wilde - if the whole world will never see you as anything but a villain then there's no point in being anything else if you are not even given a chance to be better. You might as well just get really really good at being evil. And because Dream nearly keeps fucking killing himself trying to help people and is completely sacrificing his own wellbeing to keep others untroubled and happy, they are both on such extreme opposites of the morality spectrum that it would be nearly impossible for them to meet in the middle.

Dream wants Nightmare to go back to the person he used to be (he cant)

Nightmare wants Dream to love him despite his current morals (he cant)

The never-ending cycle of reaching and never finding anything because the goal post keeps moving, trying to reach you back as you chase after it, in circles

and circles

and circles

[shmisky]

Of course you guys would vote for the hardest meta to write! 😭 ✨

Okay, let’s go! Teen Stans + “suffocating,” an attempt to understand the issues of their relationship from teen Ford’s point of view and the reason(s) for their separation. This is going to be long, but hopefully all the pictures and gifs make it an easier reading! There’s just so much to unpack...

It’s a sad subject in and of itself, but I did my best to wrap it all with a happier stancesty note! So trust the process! 🩷

I don’t think I need to point out, to most stancest shippers, where the word “suffocating” comes from. It was a very memorable scene, if nothing else, since a lot of people hated Ford for it.

[x]

I think it’s so obvious that Ford was projecting and actually talking about his and Stan’s relationship here that I won’t even attempt to prove that, hahah.

Now, is this Ford... A) talking about his true feelings regarding his and Stan’s relationship when he was young, even before the science fair incident, or B) lying to himself, as he presumably started to do ever since (but only after) the science fair incident?

First, I’d like to invite you to actually listen to Ford’s voice/watch his mannerisms as he says this, here (timestamped). The thing is that... he doesn’t sound very bitter! He doesn’t sound like he’s throwing shade at Stan. Instead, he sounds and looks—pay attention to his eyebrows—like he’s genuinely puzzled. Does Dipper... really think he’s not meant for something more? Why! He’s so brilliant, with so much potential! Just like Ford when he was younger! The poor boy must be really attached to his sister...

Second, I’d like to invite you to not be so harsh on Ford, as he says that it, nor she is suffocating—the relationship Dipper has with the girl, not the girl herself. Not that Ford can’t be mean! He can be terribly mean, sometimes, especially out of spite. But the man has some limits. He wouldn’t say this about his twelve-year-old niece.

Another thing to be taken into consideration is that Ford was convinced Mabel would be fine, since she had a magnetic personality. This is a trait he very likely also attributes to Stan! In TBoB, for example, he was convinced of Stan’s ability to make the waitress laugh. There’s a lot of evidence for the fact that Ford had no idea of how badly Stan was faring and/or would fare without him, due to the idealized version of Stan Pines in his head.

That said, here is the behind-the-scenes commentary on Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future:

Alex Hirsch: Ford offers Dipper [an] apprenticeship because Ford sees Dipper as somebody who’s special like himself. And that’s Ford’s great flaw, that arrogance. He believes there are special people and everyone else.

Jason Ritter: And that you can be held back by your siblings, maybe.

Alex Hirsch: Yeah, he believes that attachments are actually weaknesses.

It has been said before Alex is too harsh on Ford, hahah. Perhaps he is. But that’s something also made canon in J3 in many, many excerpts, and stated by Ford himself quite plainly here:

“I thought being a great man meant being alone.”

When did he start developing this mindset, though? Before or after the science fair?

I think some of you might have read the (in)famous TVInsider 2016 interview in which Alex states Ford saw his brother as a “bumbling leech” (ouch!) his “entire life.”

In terms of Stan and his brother’s conflict, we always wanted a moment where Ford saw that he was wrong. Ford’s spent an entire life imagining himself as this lone solitary hero and imagining his brother as this bumbling leech. From a narrative point of view, for Ford to see Stan be the hero finally lets Ford see the true side of his brother that he’s been too blinded by pride to see.

Now, an important fact is that—I think many people fail to grasp this—Ford looking down on Stan doesn’t mean Ford not loving Stan. My boy can and will multitask!

And, of course, “entire life” didn’t actually mean Ford’s entire life! It was definitely an exaggeration on Alex’s part, meant to convey that for most of Ford’s life, presumably from late teen years old to the current age, Ford looked down on his brother.

We know for sure that baby Ford never looked down on Stan, and in fact defended him from the Sibling Brothers in the last Lost Legends comic!

But one thing we also see is how baby Ford already shares, to a certain extent, adult Ford’s ambition:

Another trait, equally important, early on: the tendency to think he was special and/or different from everyone else, for better or for worse. Like one of the very first things Stan told us in his childhood retelling in AToTS, “As if his abnormally high IQ wasn’t enough, he also had a rare birth defect: six fingers on each hand. Which might have explained his obsession with sci-fi mystery weirdness.”

As he grows up, he also grows, understandably, very proud of his accomplishments. In Stan’s words, “Ford’s brains seemed to get more impressive every year.”

He grows to embrace the “freak” part of him more and more, both ashamed and proud of not fitting in. Like Bill so gently phrased it in TBoB: “The ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak.”

But what does this mean for his relationship with Stan?

I think the first thing we have to know is that Stan is Ford’s identical twin, something that is heavily alluded to in canon and confirmed by Word of God. The first comment from Alex regarding this matter that I could find was this tweet from 2015. Then it was further confirmed in the DVD commentaries.

Why is this even important? Twins of the same gender, especially identical aka monozygotic twins, tend to struggle with identity issues. Not only the same birthday, but the same face—that without having to share even a name.

The second thing is that they only ever had each other. I talk more about their codependency here.

Again, I borrow Alex’s words when asked about Shermie’s role in the family as Stan and Ford’s brother in a 2023 interview:

In terms of Shermie, I remember asking Rob or somebody at some point, like, “Would Shermie be here, logically? Do we have to see him?” I don’t really wanna see him. I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in Stan and Ford being—sort of having only each other and then losing each other because of their different life paths.

The best example we have of this in the show is probably Stan’s line in AToTS, “Those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove, you only really need one.” Stan not only acknowledges their dynamic, but sounds very content with it.

Was Ford content with it, tough? That’s... more complicated.

Like we’ve established, these two were identical twins (unlike Dipper and Mabel, fraternal and of different genders) and only had each other (again, unlike Dipper and Mabel), which not only exacerbated their codependency but also their identity issues. They were used to being two halves of a whole. It’s very telling that in AToTS, “the Pines twins” are both called to the principal’s office, even though only Ford should have been called. They were seen as a single entity.

And don’t get me wrong, Ford has always loved Stan so much. Perhaps part of him even enjoyed the fact his brother trusted and leaned on him so much, depended on him both emotionally and to... get a passing grade.

But for some reason, even before the science fair... things still grew quite awkward. From Stan’s Land Before Swine commentary (DVD extras):

Anyway, cut to high school, the guy’s never kissed a girl, prom is coming up, and he asked me for advice. “Stanley, I know things have been a little weird between you and me with college, but can you talk to me about girls?”

The interesting thing here, to me, is that Ford... straight up recognized the “weirdness” between them to Stan’s face! And the fact Ford felt the need to mention it, as if he couldn’t simply ask his own twin brother for advice about girls without making a sort of acknowledgement first! These brothers once told each other everything! How did things get to this point?

But wait... Stan says “prom is coming up”... The same prom at which they laughed together and shared a moment of camaraderie after Stan threw punch at himself to share Ford’s humiliation.

Which to me points to the fact it was something gradual, happening little by little, hand in hand with the sweetest moments in their teen years. It’s truly like this song in my (locked) stancest playlist:

Two birds on a wire

One tries to fly away

And the other watches him close from that wire

He says he wants to as well

But he is a liar

Imagine you’re Ford Pines. You know you are special. You’re both a genius and a freak. You are always praised by adults around you, by teachers, and finally, by your very difficult to please father. This starts to go to your head. You cling desperately to the “genius” part of your identity, so you can be more than a bullied freak. You grow even more ambitious. You can see a future for yourself.

You have a twin brother. You love him more than life itself. But everyone talks, and... aren’t they right, somewhat? Just a little bit right? Stanley isn’t a genius, like you are. That’s a fact. Stanley also doesn’t have ambition, like you have. Stanley isn’t a freak, like you are. It doesn’t mean Stanley isn’t cool! But you are... different from him...

And yet, despite all that, he’s your identical twin brother! You can only ever be one half of a duo. A single entity. Even your name, you share with him. He doesn’t seem bothered by that, but you are. Can’t you just be Ford, for once, no Stan? (Ironically, you miss the fact that your brother was always more under your shadow than you ever were under his.)

You start to think that the Stan O’ War isn’t anything more than a beautiful, but ultimately childish, dream. It isn’t very realistic, is it? You could be so much more than that. You could actually make a difference. You could prove everyone wrong about ever calling you a freak. You try to breach the subject with Stanley, but all he wants to talk about is this damn boat. And you care about it too, of course you do, but... Doesn’t he care about anything else?

I can see, so easily, the influence of other people on Ford slowly (and subconsciously) growing, even though his love for Stan didn’t diminish. I can see him noticing the mismatch between his ambition and Stan’s ambition, his academic achievements and Stan’s academic achievements... or lack thereof. Again, this is the teenage version of the little boy getting starry-eyed about seeing his own face in the papers. Except now, the possibility of Stan being there with him... doesn’t seem as likely.

I can see, also very easily, Ford having some intrusive thoughts, then immediate guilt over them. For example, after someone mocks Stan for his grades, Ford comforts him while thinking, “but yeah, maybe Stanley could really put more effort in—wait, what? He’s my best friend! I can’t think like that about him!”

Stan’s narration: “The future was looking bright... for both of us.” Oh, Stan... Ford’s smile looks painfully awkward.

Just notice the difference between Ford’s posture and body language there and here in college!Ford’s picture (and, again, look at Ford’s eyebrows, but also the way he leans in Stan’s direction):

It’s important to remember that this, too—the scene in which Ford smiles awkwardly—was before West Coast Tech.

But now, with West Coast Tech, he finally has something solid. Something tangible. A real way to make a name for himself. And he loves it. Now this is the face of true happiness, hahah!

He manages to win even the approval of his famously “not impressed” father!

But...

He’s visibly very upset by having his brother insulted like that, and he didn’t know Stan was on the other side of the door overhearing their whole conversation. But he also doesn’t defend his brother, like Stan likely would have, and Stan doesn’t see Ford’s facial expression, here. He just hears silence from him.

And then... Oh boy, the swingset talk.

“Joke’s on them if they think you wanna go to some stuffy college on the other side of the country,” Stan says, then proceeds to boast about their future adventures, only to end it all with a painful expression that shows he doesn’t believe what he is saying. He knows what Ford is truly going to choose.

Stan asks him what would happen if the college board was impressed with his experiment. “Well then, I guess you better come visit me on the other side of the country!” Which indicates he clearly didn’t expect Stan to come with him, either.

Then The Accident happens, and Ford reacts accordingly.

[x] [x] [x]

I’ve mentioned this on another post, but it’s fascinating to me that Ford knew what would cause Stan to do something like sabotage his machine. He doesn’t accuse his brother of feeling jealous of his success! Oh no, that’s not your typical sibling drama of competitiveness, nor lack of communication. Instead, he accuses Stan of sabotaging his machine so Ford would stay with him! And, while it had been just an accident... He’s right about Stan’s feelings.

We know Stan’s feelings about this. He says, with all the letters: “Without Ford, I was just half of a dynamic duo. I couldn’t make it without him. And now, thanks to that dumb college, I was gonna lose my brother forever.” I know the “forever” was perhaps Stan being a bit melodramatic (understandable considering his distress) but it also shows us he didn’t expect their relationship to go back to normal, or for the college to be just one passing fancy. He knew it would be just the start of his brother’s career.

And perhaps this is the last thing you’d expect me to bring up at this point, but...

Do you remember this episode? Little Gift Shop of Horrors?

We talk about Ford projecting on Dipper about a relationship being “suffocating,” but Stan was doing some impressive amount of projecting here too, hah, considering that he was more likely than not making up all the stories.

Just. This entire conversation:

Stan couldn’t be more unsubtle if he tried. And of course, Waddles chooses Mabel, his favorite person in the world. We know whose “favorite person” Stan wants to be...

I bet you would’ve liked for Ford to jump into your arms, Stan!

But again, back to Ford.

Yay, Ford is free of his suffocating relationship with Stan! Free to do things like looking at pictures of Stan with yearning! Writing that he misses Stan in code while yearning! Staring at the Gravity Falls’ lake with yearning because it reminds him of Stan! The last one in particular is very amusing to me because to study anomalies was basically Ford’s dream job and he loved Gravity Falls and... and yet! (You might want to read this for the full extent of Ford’s clownery.)

Free, too, to actively attempt replacing Stan with Fiddleford, Bill, and then Dipper! Because, again, he yearns!

Yeah, I know... Ford is quite confusing. What does he want? Everything and nothing, at the same time?

And now I need you to bear 🐻 with me and read this entire excerpt of the 2023 interview, most important parts highlighted in bold by yours truly:

Ford was very much us building backwards. The same way you know a black hole is there by the light warped around it, it’s like, you know the damage someone’s family has done to them by all of their weird tics and behaviors. So who is the character who would result in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad and also longing?

And so we came up with this guy who kinda seemed too perfect. And is distant. He’s aloof, and distant, and he’s too perfect. And it’s like, “oh! I think he’s also aloof and distant from himself.”

I think he is, uh, deeply deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn’t have friendships, he doesn’t have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged.

(Alexa, play Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds. Love using old memes.)

The stancest fandom has had for some time (as early as it existed!) a very interesting theory that Ford’s romantic feelings for Stan were the cause of Ford’s “suffocation.” And while I do subscribe to this theory myself—I mean, if you read the excerpt above as a shipper, especially my highlighted parts, it is extremely validating of this interpretation—I prefer to not disregard the other reasons why Ford might have felt this way, either! To me, for a better understanding of Ford, even cesty Ford, you have to put all the puzzle pieces together. Identity issues, an explosive mix of ego and self-loathing, growing ambition, and only then, as the cherry on top: Ford’ incestuous tendencies. You have the perfect dessert! Or a recipe for disaster...

My headcanon might even read as a bit contradictory, I know. Teen Ford growing more in love with Stan and growing to look down on Stan? At the same time? But this is Stanford Pines, you guys. A walking contradiction. The man is basically made of conflicting feelings. Cognitive dissonance is his hobby.

We know Ford has always loved Stan very deeply—and yearned for his company just as badly—through his entire adult life. So what, exactly, changed in old Ford for him to invite Stan to sail away together again, post-Weirdmaggedon?

Well.

First, he spent forty (40) years separated from Stan, and then almost lost him forever (or at least their relationship), from a certain point of view. Have you ever heard that saying that you only know the value of something or someone after you lose it? Teen Ford had never lost Stan, and didn’t know how much he would miss him. (Alexa, play Let Her Go by Passenger...)

On that same note, all those years separated allowed him to develop a personality and identity of his own, and a very defined and strong one at that. (Yes, poor Stan meanwhile spent that time pretending to be Ford. Ironic.) The Stan twins have also managed to be competent at what was once their weak spot, something they relied fully on their brother for. Stan has managed to learn and understand complex physics to fix the portal. Ford, on the other hand (and we’re focusing more on his feelings, here), has definitely learned how to defend himself physically.

Second, Ford was severely humbled by the narrative. He thought he would get to be the hero, when the hero was actually his brother. “Stanley Pines was the man who saved the world, not me.” His pride was a great barrier between him and Stan. And on what regards his self-loathing and subsequent thirst for external validation, he has learned to seek love in the right places! His family. Stan.

Stan, who always loved him unconditionally, who never considered him a freak in the first place. Stan, who is now his priority, above his scientific ambition.

And finally, third—the incestuous feelings headcanon. Why repress, Ford? Jump Stan! 😌 💋 That is something they can... resolve between themselves, if you catch my drift. They have all the time in the world stuck together, just the two of them, on a small boat.

Have I finished yapping? No, not yet, not quite. I need to wrap things up with another excerpt from the 2023 interview, aka my favorite interview ever:

[...] and it’s always sweet to see them come together again, because they’re so full of themselves, but they are also both so damaged they desperately need each other.

Diversity wins! The codependency of your gay incestuous ship is mutual! 🥳

After all, like Ford himself said, “I don’t just want someone to come with me, Stanley, I want it to be you.”

[raebiis]

I was thinking about this last night, so I’ll share the idea I had here:

Organized crime- not (explicitly) the mafia bc that’s just gauche. But their roots are the same. This is temporarily from the love interest’s POV, so I’ll refer to them as MC for now. Also, this was more meant to be a sort of ‘warning’ to the MC but they’re drawn in anyway- it gets much worse when romance is involved… tbh I just love a good toxic relationship.

The MC (who I personally imagined as Al Pacino’s Micheal Corleone- a little fanfic just for me- but to each their own) is witness to an argument between two sisters. One is the ‘leader’ and the other is… not ignorant, but also not completely informed.

The other is a recovering addict who relapsed and the leader found out about it. The leader confronts the other and there’s an ensuing argument/one sided screaming fest while the other cries and tries to shift blame.

She blames it on her longtime boyfriend (there’s history there).

It’s a mistake.

“Oh,” leader says, suddenly calm. And why does she look a little amused? “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” cries other, unable to recognize the danger through her tears.

“Are you absolutely positive that it’s his fault?” Leader clarifies. “And this is how you want this to go?”

“Yes,” other insists.

“Okay,” leader says, and leans in to press a kiss to others head, “then just rest here and I’ll take care of it.”

And other would know better, should know better, if not for the relief of leader no longer being upset with her.

It’s only when leader pulls a gun from the drawer next to her that other catches on. But it’s too late, leader has already silently ordered the goons to keep other there and out of the way.

Other is begging, pleading, but her words fall on deaf ears. Leader brushes past MC on her way out, and MC turns to watch her out of the window.

Other’s boyfriend is outside, having just exited the shed out back. He looks up at Leader and begins to smile before she raises the gun- his face hardly has time to shift in horror before-

!!!

Leader takes her time meandering back to the house, other’s wails can be heard all the way down to the lake at the bottom of the hill the house sits on.

When leader enters again, MC can feel their heart racing and they take a measured step back. But leader doesn’t even notice them.

She sets the gun aside and goes to her sister, gathering her in her arms and shushing her tears.

“It’s alright,” says leader, “don’t worry. I’ve taken care of the problem. You can start to really work on recovery, now.”

And other blubbers out something that sounds a lot like a confession to having lied. Her boyfriend was innocent?

Leader’s smile is unsettling when she pulls back and cradles her sister’s crying face (she already knew). “Don’t say that, other. Because if he wasn’t the source of the infection?”

Her thumbs press deeply into the hinge of her sister’s jaw, and her smile is long gone by now.

“That means I’ll just have to cut deeper.”

And other has a look on their face- understanding, despair, and the unconditional love of siblings forged in fire. Other knows to forgive leader is to invite more pain, but how could she not? Leader is her sister, and her sister has been by her side all these years. And her sister isn’t always terrible. Most of the time she’s kind, generous, gentle…. That’s gotta mean something. It has to make up for all the times leader is cruel.

Doesn’t it?

(And, of course, we see the same happen to MC. They’ve seen the warning signs, but leader at her best is just so charming and so loving- how could they ever not love her? Why, even in her most wicked moments leader is only expressing the depth of their unfathomable love. Leader hurts them to save them. Right?)

fucked up hurt/comfort. the person who stabbed you tends to your wound. the person who killed your loved one helps you grieve.

[beautysurvives]

jumping off of my last post about her, I think that the amara arc — as well as the carver era as a whole — has so much to do with dean’s loosely defined sexuality, and his struggles with both commitment and monogamy. In season 8, being with Benny while looking for Cas, season 9 working with Crowley, season 10 running away with Crowley —

and Crowley’s “pick a bloody side” “what are you? A demon or a human?” Qareen!Amara’s “who are you? You’re a mystery,” etc. The strong sexual undercurrents in all of these relationships point to a theme of sexual (and perhaps gender) ambiguity.

Dean’s apology to Cas at the end of s11 can also be read as an apology for his promiscuity and its contribution to their ambiguous relationship. His habit of handing over his body and soul to whoever is most powerful / most capable of providing safety to him and/or his loved ones, even if that is only temporary safety. He runs to whoever seems like the strongest and the most secure option.

It’s what he does at the end of season 4, when he hands himself over to Cas (and to Heaven). It’s what he almost does in season 5 when he tries to say yes to Michael (before Cas stops him by beating him into submission) — it’s what he does in season 6 by going to Lisa (because Cas didn’t immediately offer to stay with him). Season 8 with Benny (to save Cas from purgatory), season 9 with Crowley and Cain, season 10 with Crowley (and in both these seasons, Dean is feeling like he has to become independent from both Sam and Cas in order to make himself stronger). It’s why this is the habit he has to try so hard to resist in season 11. And he does give in to it at the end of season 13 with Apocalypse World Michael when Sam and Jack are taken by Lucifer. He even falls back on this habit again in season 15, by trusting Belphegor and scorning Cas for his relative ineffectiveness.

I think this is also part of why he thought it was okay or simply necessary to subject Sam to the same sort of treatment in season 9 with Gadreel. It’s not just that Dean himself is doing something to Sam in tricking him — it’s that (I think) this is part of Dean’s understanding of family dynamics (as someone who was denied his own bodily autonomy very early in life and quickly got used to offering his own body to the danger of the hunt).

Your family is also you. What has been done to you is also done to them and vice versa. Before Dean manipulates Sam into saying yes to Gadreel, Dean himself gets manipulated into saying yes. And he blames himself every time. Even saying yes to Alastair — even making that deal with the demon to save Sam in season 2 is a part of this.

I think it’s important to note that both Sam and Cas have their own patterns of being manipulated into giving away their bodily autonomy — but the circumstances differ. Dean is typically only after safety and security, he’ll say yes to whatever guarantees that he and/or his loved ones escape harm (even if it’s only illusory safety that’s being offered).

But for both Sam and Cas, the fantasy that they buy into usually involves them getting to be portrayed as a hero. For Cas, though he shares Dean’s same strong desire to protect himself and loved ones, he fights against that urge — I think he’s often leaning more toward the side of wanting to redeem himself to his family, while also earning the right to control them / decide what’s best for them.

For Sam, it’s about dominating both the narrative and the person who is offering help / trying to manipulate him — and even as he seeks to redeem himself to Dean, there is also often a competitive sibling rivalry element, in which Sam also strives to be both better than and not-reliant on Dean. Protecting Dean is, unfortunately, an afterthought, which is not to say that Sam is selfish, but that his goal oriented, single minded nature can render him unconscious of the harm he does to both himself and others.

[ozwriterchick]

Back to Us - Epilogue

Summary: Y/n wakes after an accident to her Avengers team-mates. But something isn't quite right and only Steve and Tony can see it

This part starts with a time skip and there are a couple more time skips in it as well.

Characters/Relationships: Steve Rogers x Reader; Tony Stark; Natasha Romanoff; Other Avengers Characters

Content warnings: Mentions of an accident (no details yet); Infertility; If I missed any, let me know

A/N: If you want to be tagged, let me know.

Not beta'd so any mistakes are my own. I don't write smut, but there are allusions to smut in my stories.

Back to Us Masterlist

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Word count: 2555 (approx.)

6 months later

The team is gathered once more, this time for your and Steve’s wedding.  Nat is your maid of honour and Bucky is Steve’s best man.  Noah is the ring bearer and he’s super excited to see his Mum and Dad get married, even though he doesn’t really understand what it is all about.

Your nerves are present, given everything you, Steve and Noah have been through the last 12 or so months, you are constantly feeling on edge about it slipping away at a moment’s notice.  Steve has been nothing but amazing in reassuring you that the past is in the past and that nothing is going to stop you and he being together and maybe even giving Noah a sibling or 2.

Nat walked into the room and offered to help you into your dress and zip you up, so you could get onto the main event of the day.  “Nat, I don’t know why I’m so nervous” you say to her.

“Oh babe, it’s totally normal to be nervous on one of the biggest days of your life.  But trust me, that man can’t wait to start his life with you.  When you were unconscious, before we knew your memories had gone, he was beside himself thinking he had lost you forever.”

“Then, when you woke up and didn’t remember him, he was inconsolable.  He even talked at one stage about taking Noah and disappearing and having no contact with this life any more because it was so painful for him to see you and not have you know who he was and how much you meant to him.  And don’t get me started on Noah, he wouldn’t separate the 2 of you for anything, but he damn near did because he knew how much it hurt him and he didn’t want to see Noah go through it as well.”

“We all had to tell him that taking Noah away would hurt him even more because he already didn’t have you in his life, and if he thought you’d gone forever it would just break his little heart.”

Just then, you were both interrupted by a light knock on the door to your room.  Nat walked over and slowly opened the door, to ensure it wasn’t Steve trying to get a pre-emptive look at you before the ceremony.

Instead, she found a little man in a little tux who was looking for his Mama.  She opened the door wide enough for him to come into the room and he stopped when he saw Yn.

“Oh Mama, you look so booful.  I telled Daddy that you would, I just knowed it. He aksed me to give this to you.” With that he presented her with a small wrapped gift and an envelope.

Yn knelt down and opened her arms for her son to walk into.  He stepped forward and threw his arms around her neck and just held on for dear life.  He still remembered the few months when his mum wasn’t around and he took every opportunity to let her know he loved her and to make sure she really was here with him again.

“Thank you my little man,  Are you being good for Daddy and Uncle Bucky?”

“Yes ma’am” came his little soldier response.  His father had trained him very well.

“Good boy, then you run along back to Daddy so you can help him finish getting ready because Mama will be done soon and then we are going to have a big party, ok?”

“K, Mama.  I lub you bery much.”

“I love you too Noah, you have no idea how much.  Tell Daddy I love him too and I will see you both soon.”

With that, he ran out of the room and down the hall to where Steve and Bucky were getting ready in their own room.

Nat looked at her through misty eyes.  “I know I shouldn’t get like this Yn, but I really wish I’d be able to have what you have, but just having Noah in my life makes it a bit better.  He’s such a precious little soul.  You and Cap did well.”

“Yeah, I think we did.  Maybe we might do well again – who knows what could happen” Yn winks at Natasha.

Natasha side-eyes Yn. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“No, I’m not pregnant, not yet anyway, but I’m just saying, it might be something we work on during our honeymoon.”

12 months later

Yns pov

Well, we have worked on a sibling for Noah for longer than we expected to.  I’m not sure what is wrong and why my body can’t conceive the 2nd child we so desperately want.  It happened so effortlessly with Noah, we weren’t even technically trying when we fell pregnant with him and so this has been a big struggle.

We have an appointment with a specialist doctor today to get some testing done to see if there’s a reason why this is not happening for us.    I’m very nervous because I feel like the issues I had after my accident and the subsequent memory loss and the other falls I had might have something to do with it.  After all, my husband has super sperm so it couldn’t be that, right?  It has to be a me problem.

Sitting in the doctor’s office we heard the words Secondary infertility and my whole world just shattered.  “But doctor, I don’t understand, we’ve already had a child, how can we be infertile?”

The doctor explained that it sometimes happens after a couple has a child that they have a harder time conceiving and if they’ve tried for 6-12 months, they can diagnose it as this at that time.  He did assure us that there were things we could try and referred us to a fertility specialist to see what options we could have.

Steve pov

As we left the doctors office and got into our car, Yn was very quiet.  I know she’s struggling with this and thinking it is her fault, and now the doctor has used the word infertility I’m sure she’s even more in her head about this somehow being all on her.

“Babe, can you please talk to me.  We can work through this, it will be ok.”

“That’s easy for you to say Steve, this has nothing to do with you.  Your super sperm will work no matter what.”

“Hey, we don’t know that, maybe the serum has finally taken a toll on my sperm production and maybe this is all on me.  Point is, we won’t know until we see the fertility specialist and get some more testing done.  So, let’s call them and make an appointment for as soon as possible, that way we know where we stand and what our next steps should, or can, be.”  I move my hand off the steering wheel and onto her thigh, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

“Yeah, I suppose, but if it turns out it’s me then maybe we should re-think this whole thing.” She sounded so dejected, I wasn’t sure what she meant.

“Ummm, re-think what whole situation my love?”

“Oh, you know.  Us.  Marriage. You should be with someone who can give you more children and not some washed up, barren old cow.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say about my wife and mother of my son?  About the love of my life?  About the woman that I can’t live without?  Because if you’re even slightly implying what I think you are, then you’re crazy delusional to think that I would ever leave you just because we can’t have any more children.?

“If all we get is Noah, then I’m the happiest man on the face of the earth Yn.  You and Noah, you’re all I need.  Would it be nice to have another baby, of course, but it’s not a deal breaker for me you know.”

“Oh Steve, you always know the right thing to say, how are you so perfect?”

“I’m not perfect baby, I’m just perfect for you.” I smiled at her and hoped she got the dumb idea of us separating out of her head.

5 weeks later

Today was the day Yn and Steve were finally seeing the fertility specialist to get their test results.  Yn didn’t realise so many people were in a similar boat to them and where she had though they would get in to see the specialist within a week, they had to wait 3, then they took samples from both Yn and Steve to send away for the comprehensive testing needed to determine their next step.

Yns leg was bouncing all over the place with nerves as they sat in the waiting room, waiting for their turn with the doctor.

Steve placed his hand on her leg and squeezed, which seemed to calm her down a bit and mostly stopped the bouncing.  “Relax babe, whatever is meant to be will be, we can’t change it right now.”

“I know Steve, but I just wish we already knew and that I could hold a new baby in my arms who would be another mix of you and I, just like Noah.”

“Yeah, but…”  As he started to reply, the nurse called Yns name and they stood up to go into the consultation room.

Steve turned and put his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead as he said “We���re going to be ok Yn, no matter what happens in this appointment.”

They walked into the consultation room and the nurse closed the door behind them.  “Now, before the doctor comes to see you, we just need a little more blood from you Yn.”

“Oh, ok, why is that, is everything ok?”

“Oh yes, there’s just a note on your file that we need to do one more quick test today on you.”

“Ok, do you need me to go to another room or can you take the blood you need here?”

“Here is fine” the nurse said and proceeded to take the blood sample from you.  “The doctor will be in with you shortly.

Both Yn and Steve were nervous now.  They were under the impression that all the testing they needed had been done so they weren’t sure what this extra test that needed to be run was or what it meant.  They held hands as they waited for the doctor to come tell them what was going on.  Steve rubbed his thumb over the back of Yns hand to help calm her down.

“Steve, I feel like this is bad, very bad.”

“It’s going to be ok my love.  Whatever it is, we will face it together, just like everything else.” He once again kissed her on her forehead to try and reassure her and hoped she couldn’t feel his heart beating a million miles an hour and the nerves exuding from his body.

After about 10 minutes the doctor entered the room and greeted them.  “Hello Captain & Mrs Rogers, it’s good to see you both again.  So, we got the results of all your tests and everything looks good I have to say.”

“So, there’s no issue you can see that is stopping us from conceiving?” Steve asked the doctor incredulously.

“Nothing I can see at all.  Captain, your sperm are definitely super, there’s more than normal and they’re fast little buggers.  And Yn, your egg production is still right on track and they look very healthy as well.”

“Well, that’s good to hear Doctor” Yn said “But why can’t we conceive.  And what is this extra test they took blood from me for today – we thought we’d submitted everything for ever test under the sun.”

“Well, that’s where it gets a little tricky, because something did show up on your test that we weren’t quite expecting” the doctor began. “So we wanted to grab a little more blood just to quickly run another test to make sure the results were accurate.”

“And…” Steve was staring to get impatient. “Is my wife ok?  Is there something wrong that we need to see another doctor for?”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with her technically.  At least, nothing that won’t get better in about 8 months.  Congratulations you are pregnant.  Sometimes these things resolve themselves and it looks like it was just a matter of time for you two, and now you are about 4 weeks pregnant.”

Steve and Yn just looked at the doctor in absolute shock, they were totally not expecting this news.

“Are you sure Doctor?  I don’t feel pregnant.” Yn asked.

“Well, it’s still early, luckily we have sophisticated tests that can pick up the HCG changes very early, otherwise we might have missed it.  But the blood we took from you today has confirmed that you are indeed pregnant.  Now, I would recommend scheduling an appointment with your regular doctor and also an ultrasound for sometime in the next couple of weeks.”

“Thank you Doctor” Steve stood up and shook his hand.

Yn stood up in complete silence as if she was still having a hard time taking in this news, even though it was everything they wanted.

Steve moved her towards the door of the Doctors office, dealt with the paperwork with the receptionist and then led her towards their car for the drive home.

Time skip – 8 months later (approx.)

“On more big push Yn, you can do this, you’re about to meet your new baby.” The midwife encouraged her to keep going.

“I can’t.  They’ll just have to stay there.  I’m too tired.” She looked up at Steve who was holding her hand.

“Yn, you can absolutely do this my darling.  I know you can.  You did it with Noah, now you will bring our new baby into the world.  You want to meet him or her, don’t you?  We’ll be able to give them a name and see their little eyes and nose and fingers and toes.”

“Yes I want to meet them, but I’m soooo tired Steve, why can’t you push this baby out for me??” she asked.

“Believe me Yn, if I could, I would but you have to do this.  Now, when the doctor tells you to, just give one more big push and we’ll meet Noah’s sibling for the first time.”

“Okay, Yn, give it all you’ve got.”

Yn rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and pushed with all her might.

“Here they are” the nurse exclaimed.  “Dad, did you want to come cut the cord and give Mama the good news?”

Steve nodded, tears in his eyes as he stepped forward to cut the umbilical cord.  Hearing their baby’s first cry as he did so made the moment even more special.

Once he’d done the deed, he grabbed the baby and moved up to where you could see.  Placing the baby on your chest he said “Congratulations Yn, we have a beautiful baby boy”

Yn could not believe this day was finally here.  She kissed the baby’s head and said “Welcome to our family, little one.  We love you so much already, we’ve been looking forward to meeting you for so long.  We can’t wait for you to meet your big brother, he’s going to be so excited.”

Tag List: @wolfbeanpotion @vioplay19 @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @crazyunsexycool @zaraomarrogers @bitchy-bi-trash @mrsnikstan @harrysnovia @salemslostwitch

[callixpene]

Random Thoughts in the middle of the night #3

ARE THE L&DS LOVE INTERESTS VIRGINS OR NOT?

Note: This is based on my opinion/observations/assumptions for each LI. Feel free to comment if you've a different opinion and why.

1. XAVIER - VIRGIN

Even if he's been around for probably CENTURIES, Xavier doesn't strike me as the type who would sleep with anyone he does not have any feelings for.

2. RAFAYEL - VIRGIN

This man right here has sacrificed SO MUCH(probably the most out of all the LIs) for MC. He would not give himself/his body to just anyone. Also, he has memories of his multiple past lives with MC.

In Rafayel's Misty Invasion Memory, he mentioned that when Lemurians fall in love with someone, 'all their senses are committed to perceive them without question'(this strikes me as kind of similar to the 'imprinting' in Twilight). I'm headcannoning that Lemurians are probably monogamous.

It's also been stated multiple times in the main story and in Memories that Rafayel is not really interested in being around other people, unless it's MC.

3. ZAYNE - VIRGIN

Being a doctor, Zayne's busy all the time. He probably was too busy studying the entire time he was a student as well, so a relationship or fling has never even crossed his mind. He literally became a cardiac surgeon because he found out MC had a heart condition, mans COMMITTED.

Also, like Xavier, Zayne would never even consider sleeping with someone he has no feelings for.

4. SYLUS - PROBABLY NOT A VIRGIN

Look I know, he recalls his past with MC, and has even sacrificed his life for her.

I just have a feeling that this man has had a couple of flings before meeting MC again in the main story. He's probably entertained some admirers that showed interest in him in business parties or social events. Zero feelings involved of course, and Sylus would make that clear with them.

When he does finally meet MC in the main story, he'd been 100% committed to her from then on.

5. CALEB - PROBABLY NOT A VIRGIN.

OK, HEAR ME OUT.

Mans obsessed with MC, clearly. But we've got to remember they've practically been raised AS SIBLINGS. It's possible that Caleb might have slept around with whoever's remotely interested in him to see if he could forget about MC, to not view her as anything but a 'sibling'. He probably tried his hardest to just be a good and reliable older 'brother' to her and tried to distract himself from the very strong, romantic feelings he was developing for MC.

In the end though, these flings would never really be enough for him as he'd eventually realize that MC is the only one for him.

What do you guys think?

[starlightshadowsworld]

Sobbing my two favourite boys.

Look at them!

Kunikida taking in Atsushi as a kid and being an older sibling/parental figure to him is everything to me.

He’s his mentor too! He taught him how to fight and gave him advice and he saved him and he cares about him so much!

He’s so proud! I’m crying I love them so much their relationship is so underrated like Atsushi embodies so much of who Kunikida is.

I just envision lil Atsushi following Kunikida around like a lil duckling 🥹

They’re both probably yelling at Dazai I bet.

The Idealist and the Tiger

DON'T YOU DARE TO TAG THIS AS A SHIP

[emedeme]

Hello friends! It’s almost that time of the year so even if it's a little later than usual, let's start my annual Valentine’s Day Commissions Sale!   💕

 I will draw:

Your otp being cute, kissing (lips, cheeks, forehead, etc), hugging, looking at each other… whatever you choose!

Couples of friends being nice and cute to each other.

Siblings or family members expressing love.

Existing characters with OCs.

Couples of OCs.

Canon and non-canon couples.

I will NOT draw:

Incest.

Non-consensual or abusive relationships (that are depicted that way in canon). 

Underage characters with adult characters in a romantic situation.

If you’re interested in these, please fill in this Google form with your info, your ideas for your commission, and basic references if needed. I’ll later on contact you in case you want to expand your info via email. Payments are accepted upfront via PayPal (Bizum is available for Spain)

Filling in the form does not guarantee a commission slot: since I have very little personal time this year, I’ll only be offering 6 slots and I’m allowing myself to pick my favorite prompts instead of the usual “first come, first served” - Thank you for understanding!

The form will be open until February 11th 📩 Reblogs and spreading the word are very much appreciated!!! ✨

[b4mbiblooms]

Reflections of us…

Warnings: Grammar mistakes. Beginner writer.

Established relationship

𖦹 The sound of the gunfire was scary, but the silence afterward was worse. I tried not to glance at the bloodied body’s on the ground, but my gaze caught on a familiar face that you hadn’t seen in years.

𖦹 “It can’t be…” You muttered under your breath. If it wasn't for the situation you would’ve completely stopped to think if it was really him; but the giant size dolls singing signalling that you had to go. Something in you prayed to whatever divine being that if it was him that please allow him to make it through this death match.

𖦹 You had been in debt for quite a few years especially when your Grandma became sick. You were the last of your inner family. When you were young your mother passed from pneumonia, and after that your dad left you with your grandma. She lived in the southern part of Korea. There you were a bit lonely because you didn’t have any siblings. You always wished you had siblings. Yes you loved your grandma to death but you were always lonely.

𖦹“Y/n! I'm home. I have a surprise for you!” It was a voice you always recognized. “What is it grandma?” You said with your childish tone. It was a box with some holes. You opened the box and inside was a small dog wagging its tail. The beagle his copper and white fur glowing in the light, velvety ears swinging with each step. His twitching nose searched the air while his tail wagged with uncontainable joy. You named him Copper.

𖦹 When you were ten your Grandmother started working longer hours at work to keep food on the table. With that you started being babysat by your neighbors eldest daughter.

𖦹 At your first day at the house you wore your favorite outfit it was your favorite color. As your grandma walked you to the house and knocked on the door it was opened by a young girl much taller than you but still young. “Ha-eun! Thank you so much for accepting to babysit her!” Your grandma’s cheerful tone bursted out. “It’s no problem Mrs. l/n! I'm already babysitting my younger brother so it's not big of a deal! NIce meeting you Y/n!” She said as she smiled down at you. You nodded. “Thank you again but I guess it’s time for me to go. You guys have fun!” Your grandmother said.

𖦹 As you walked into the house you saw a young boy sitting on the couch. “Dae-ho, come introduce yourself this is Y/n!” She said looking at her younger brother. He raced up off the couch toward you and his sister. He was about the same size as you, maybe a bit shorter but by a centimeter. He had short dark hair and a youthful face. “My name is Kang Dae-ho; "Dae means"big ","Ho " means tiger! I love your outfit, it is my favorite color!” He said with a smile on his face. “Thank you Dae-ho! This is also my favorite color!” You said as you giggled. “We will be great friends then!” He said with a cheery tone, and indeed good friends you too became.

𖦹 After that day you became an inseparable pair. You felt less lonely throughout the days. At their house you both learned how to play Gonggi and soon enough you both became really good at it! Some days you brought Copper to the house. You and Dae-ho would run around with Copper until you were tired. Soon you found out that you had been going to the same school so you began to walk to and from school. Every morning he would wait outside your house for you to go to school together.

𖦹 In a few years you began to develop a sort of crush on Dae-ho. It wasn’t anything big but was a miniature attraction. You liked how he paid attention to you; he'd notice the smallest things about you, things you didn’t even know. It also felt as if you could never feel down around him; he always lit up the room and could make anyone smile.

𖦹 One day while you too were in the backyard laying on the grass looking up out the sky. Out of the blue he asked you a question… “What do you want to do in life N/n?” He asked. “I never really thought of that honestly but what I think I want to do is take care of my Grandma. Maybe see my dad. Get a good job, get married maybe. What about you?” You said. “I would love to have a life with you n/n. I mean of course if you want to though!” He said with a light tint of blush on his face. “You know what I would like that, but as long as we can bring copper!” A smile began to creep up on your face. “Yeah that would be great! So this is a promise, yeah?” He said. “Promise!” You both smile.

𖦹 You two were young but on some level you felt that it was true and you had a future together he wasn’t one to back on his word.

𖦹 As the years began to pass you grew more and more distant. Especially with your grandmother falling ill, the treatments were expensive. You had to work more and more to be able to afford her treatments, and on top of that pay bills. You had slowly fallen into debt. Which also led you to joining the games.

𖦹 Soon enough you were pulled back into reality the voting had begun. They were now in the 300's. You'll be soon. “389 please cast your vote… 388 please cast your vote…” The monotone voice said. There they were. It was really Kang Dae-ho! He even looked the same, just a bit mature. For just a brief moment your eyes locked on each other. In that moment it felt as if you were taking in each other's features, and in both your hearts it felt as if something both of you had re-ignited.

𖦹 “359 please cast your vote… 356 please cast your vote…” The square guard said. You pressed the X button and the red illuminated your face a few more X’s and you could leave with some of the money and your life. “297 please cast your vote… 290…270..240… 232.” Said the guard. The voting continued. In the end the O’s won. Another game to be played.

𖦹 While walking back to the beds ready for lights out. You felt a familiar warm hand on your shoulder. “Y/n?” A soft voice spoke out. “Dae-ho?” You said as you turned around. “N/n!” He said pulling you into a tight hug. “Dae what are you doing here?” You asked. “I should be asking you that!” He said.

𖦹 “I came here to earn money to pay off some debt. Why are YOU here?” You said. “Same reason as you!” He said. “Wait where have you been all this time? I haven't seen you in forever!” You asked. “I went into the marines.” He said. Trying to bite back your laughter in a failed attempt you had to just let it out! Him the Kang Dae-ho joined the marines? This was comical! “Hey! What’s funny?” He asked with a little pout on his face. “You joined the marines!? Really? I'm sorry I just can’t see you doing that!” You said trying to calm down. “Okay you’re right my dad made me join he said it would be good for me. I should ask you the same thing I haven’t seen you in forever!” He said. Your face darkens. “My grandmother fell ill and you know… I had to work a lot, you know her treatment and bills. You know I fell into some debt so that's why I'm here and why I have been absent…” He saw you got a bit sad talking about your grandmother, trying to change the topic of that subject.

𖦹 “You know, you still look the same!” He wasn’t lying, you looked the same, just more mature and you were drop dead gorgeous. Would he say it to your face? Nope, but in his heart he knew you were stunning. He felt that old flame of that love he had for you reigniting. “You look the same also you know nothing much has changed even in your personality.” You said. He did look the same but he matured really well and grew into a handsome young man.

𖦹 After a bit of catching up. You met other people, nice people. It was always interesting how fast he could make friends. At times you wished that you could make friends as fast as he could. You found out that the man had played the games before and that the next game would be dalgonna, and that we should all choose triangles. Should be easy enough and we could all make it out alive, but something inside you told you that it wouldn’t be that easy.

𖦹 Before you knew it lights came and it was time for bed. “Good night n/n.” He said in a bit of a drowsy state returning to his section. “Good night Dae.”

𖦹 As quick as you went to sleep the lights came on. It was time for the next game. Surprisingly before the next game they gave you a quick meal.

𖦹 “Good morning Dae.” You said. “Good morning N/n.” He said walking toward you. “How’d you sleep?” He asked you. “I slept alright, not the best but good enough, you go first.” He told you. “Oh, really thank you!” You said as you two got in line.

𖦹 After getting your meals you were walking back with your group you started scanning your meal. It was an alright meal enough to get you through the next day.

𖦹 “Do you want your milk? I know, you don't really like it. ” He asked, sitting down. As a kid you never really liked milk. You never knew why you just didn’t like it; maybe it was the taste, color or maybe the smell. You were surprised he even remembered that. “Sure you can have it.” You said

𖦹 After eating the okay meal it was time for the next game. You walked to the next game with Dae-ho. With Dae-ho the games were not that bad, it was better than being alone in the games. These were deadly games but at least you had someone with you “Hey make sure you stay with me, alright?” He said. As you walked into the next game the robotic voice came on the intercom. “Please get into groups of 5 for the next round.” What? I thought this was supposed to be Dalgona. Is it played in groups? “Hey didn’t Gi-hun say the next round was Dalgona?” You questioned. “Maybe it changed.” He said. “I repeat please get into a group of 5 for the next round.” The female robotic voice.

𖦹 “Well since we already have 5 this we already have a group!” Jun-bae said. It’s nice that I met these people. If it wasn’t for Dae-ho you probably wouldn’t have a group.

𖦹 Then a female came around. “Could I join your group..?” She asked. “We kinda already have a group-” Gi-hun said. “I-I’m pregnant…” She said as she put her hand on her stomach. Your eyes softened at her. She carries life but she is trapped in these games. “Have my spot. I’ll find another group.” You spoke up. Dae-ho looked like he was going to protest but you squeezed his hand for reassurance that you will be alright. “Uh, thank you…” She said, “No problem, please be careful.” You smiled at her.

𖦹 The games that you was playing was six legs. You will play 5 games. First Ddakji, second flying stones, third, gon-gi, fourth spinning tops, and last jegi. With your group you chose Gon-gi, you’ve always been good at Gon-gi. You were good but not as good as him. Ever since Dae-ho’s sister taught you how to play.

𖦹 On Dae-ho’s side he chose gon-gi. In his heart he prayed to whatever divine power that your team got through. He knew that you would most likely choose gon-gi. You were always good at gon-gi ever since you two were young.

𖦹After your team went you came back to the warehouse looking rest area. You waited for him. You prayed that he made it through the game, you wanted his team to make it also back. You just couldn’t mess with the idea of losing him. Then you could hear the groans of the others because another group came in so; less blood money. Prayed that the group was Dae-ho’s.

𖦹 You turned around and it was Dae-ho. They made it! Once they came back. We had another vote. You really thought that we would make it out with this one. The O’s win another game to play unfortunately.

𖦹 While sitting, Gi-hun began talking about sleep it wouldn’t be long before lights out. He said that the other may try to attack so we would have to take turns taking shifts watching. Gi-hun offered to take the first shift, Jun-bae took second, you took third, Dae-ho took 4th, and so on and so forth. Before you knew it it was lights out.

𖦹 During lights out you couldn’t really sleep your mind just kept racing you couldn’t rest at all. You couldn’t sleep, it was like your mind was running in and out of circles. It was almost your shift anyway so you should just let Jun-bae rest since you wouldn’t go back to sleep anyway.

𖦹 “Jun-bae.” You said going to pat him on his shoulder. He jumped a bit most likely because of the tired state he was in. “Oh! Y/n you should be asleep my shift isn’t over yet…” He said through a yawn. “I can take it for you, don't worry I can’t really sleep so I can just take it from here.” You sat down next to him. “Are you sure it’s alright?” He asked. “I'm positive, go get your rest.” You said looking up at the piggy bank as you spoke. “Alright then, Goodnight Y/n.” He said. “Goodnight.” You said blankly.

𖦹 You were lost in your thoughts thinking about your grandma how she is feeling what is she doing. Also what's your future going to look like after the game if you even make it to see the end, what are you going to do? Pay off debt, of course, but what else? Your mind flashed to a memory Dae-ho. You always had a little thing for him but you always thought of it as just a childhood thing, but as you grew apart you always wished you were together. In your restless mind you always managed to think about him.

𖦹 “N/n?” Hearing the familiar voice you were pulled out of your thoughts and back into the real world. “Yeah?” You asked. He began getting up from his area walking toward you. It was cute seeing him in his state of drowsiness. His hair was slightly frizzled and cheeks a light shade of pink. “It’s my shift now…” He said yawning, taking a seat next to you. “Well i'm not very tired so you can go back to sleep if you want I can cover for you.” You said. “You should seriously get some rest, it is not good to stay up.” He said with genuine care. “I’m alright I will just sit here with you if it’s alright.”

𖦹 You two sat in a comfortable silence with him. He was one who can talk for a while but when he realized that the other party didn’t want to really talk he understood not to talk much. He was always good at reading other people.

𖦹The room was steeped in shadows. Most of the others were slumped on their bunks, lost in restless sleep or too exhausted to stay on guard. You and Dae-ho sat near the wall, keeping watch. The quiet stretched between you, but it was a familiar kind of silence, one that didn’t demand filling. It reminded you of the old days, back when the two of you would sit out on the playground until his sister told you both to come back, talking about everything and nothing. Back when life wasn’t… this.

𖦹“What’s the first thing you’ll do when we get out of here?” you asked, your voice soft but steady. He glanced over at you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “When, huh? You sound pretty sure about that.”

𖦹“You have to believe it,” you replied, a faint smile of your own. “Otherwise, what’s the point?” He nodded, leaning his head back against the wall. For a moment, he was quiet, his gaze fixed on the distant, dark corners of the room. “Alright,” he said, his voice low but warm. “First thing? I’m going to pay off my debt.”

𖦹“Then,” He said. He turned his head to look at you, his expression a softness that you were familiar with. “We’ll go somewhere nice. A real restaurant. It will be a date!”

𖦹You laughed quietly, a sound that felt foreign in a place like this but natural with him. “You’re already assuming I’d say yes?”

𖦹“Of course,” he said, the confidence in his tone making your chest tighten just a little. “You owe me at least one meal after all the years I put up with you.”

𖦹You nudged his arm lightly. “You’re the one who ate all my snacks back then. I think you owe me.”

𖦹His smile widened, the kind of smile you hadn’t seen from him in years, maybe longer. It softened something in your chest, something you hadn’t realized was still there.

𖦹“Fine,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost tender. “We’ll call it even. But I’m serious. When we get out of here, I want us to start over. None of this drifting apart, none of the… distance. Just you and me, like it used to be. Better, even.”

𖦹You opened your mouth to say something, but the words caught in your throat. There was something so honest in the way he looked at you, so certain, it left you momentarily speechless.

𖦹“What do you think?” he asked, his gaze holding yours in the dim light.

𖦹“I think…” you started, your voice softer than you expected. “I think you’d better mean it.”

“I do,” he said, and there wasn’t a shred of hesitation in his voice. “You’re not getting rid of me this time.”

𖦹You looked away, but a small smile tugged at your lips. The room around you faded for a moment—the danger, the fear, the weight of survival—and all you could feel was the warmth of his words.

𖦹“Alright,” you said, leaning your head back against the wall. “It’s a deal. But you’d better not forget when we’re out of here.”

𖦹“I won’t,” he said, the confidence in his tone grounding you in a way you didn’t realize you needed.

𖦹For the first time in a long time, the dark didn’t feel so suffocating. You looked forward to that moment.

[pigfacedbitch]

Chiron's Secret

summary : Percy finds something particularly odd in chiron's office.

word count : 0.7k

type : imagines

pairing/s : apart from canon of the riordanverse characters, none. reader is only mentioned briefly, and dates someone outside of camp half-blood.

warning/s: a bit creepy or touching (?), it depends on you.

here is my masterlist!

Note : I am currently fixated on a character from another series; to those who will get it? I love you so much. 🥹

It started with a stupid dare.

They were hanging around the campfire when Leo, bless him, suggested a game of Truth or Dare.

Naturally, Percy, who lacked any sense of safety or caution in his body, chose dare.

Leo's challenge was simple: sneak into Chiron's office and find something embarrassing to share with the group. Easy right?

Plenty of campers had done the same and came out unscathed. Percy had faced gods, monsters, Smelly Gabe, surprise pop quizzes; breaking into an ancient centaur’s office? Child’s play.

Besides, some over enthusiastic children of Ares set the armory on fire so Chiron was busy.

The office was unlocked— Chiron trusted them, which, honestly, was his first mistake. Seriously, does he even know them?

Searching for something amusing in a mostly mundane office proved tricky. The room held nothing particularly scandalous— just the usual: a computer, a boom box, a record player. Nothing that would make for a great story.

Until he found himself rummaging through one of the cabinets that's filled with scrolls and stumbled across something unexpected— a scrapbook.

At first, he assumed it was just a collection of camp memories. Chiron’s office was already filled with framed photos of past demigods on his walls, after all.

But then he saw the picture.

Him and Annabeth at Montauk, years ago, sitting on the beach with the sunset behind them. Their first real vacation, free from chaos. He didn’t even remember anyone taking that photo.

Weird.

Flipping to the next page, he found another one— Nico and Will by the campfire, smiling at each other like nothing else in the world mattered. The night they were officially dating.

Then Clarisse and Chris, sparring in the arena, grinning through their duel.

Frank and Hazel at Camp Jupiter, Hazel laughing as Frank transformed into some ridiculous dolphin in the fountain.

Grover and Juniper, her listening intently as he played his flute by the meadows.

Then (Y/N) and her boyfriend, leaning against a blue jeep, his arms draped over her shoulders while pressing a kiss to her cheek. Looked like after a lacrosse game, judging from the boy's maroon jersey and gear.

Percy’s stomach twisted. The further he flipped, the more couples he found.

"What the fuck?"

It didn’t stop there. Beside each photo, there were notes.

New Rome for college. How the hell did Chiron know about his plans for his relationship with Annabeth?

Staying at Camp Half-Blood and going steady. Which is exactly what Will and Nico are doing.

Going to Comic-Con to meet George Lucas and Hayden Christensen. (Y/N) had once mentioned that to Percy in passing, because apparently, her boyfriend was a huge Star Wars fan.

And then there were the ones that stung.

Died as heroes. A picture of Charles and Silena, her arms wrapped around him while he worked on a machine with his siblings.

Split up after the Battle Against Gaea. Jason and Piper, sitting in a Parisian café, smiling over desserts.

It was sweet, in a way. These pictures captured relationships of the people he cares about, but something about it felt... off.

Why would Chiron do this?

Then he saw a list. Names, some checked off, some underlined. Some written down before the people themselves had even realized they were together.

He looked for his name; Percy Jackson with Annabeth Chase as predicted.

AS PREDICTED?!

Percy slammed the scrapbook shut and let out a nervous laugh.

Nope.

Nope, nope, nope.

Slowly, he put the book back where he found it, suddenly aware that Chiron apparently knew everything.

Chiron— their mentor, father figure, the wisest, kindest, most patient man (did he even count as a man? okay, half-man) Percy had ever known.

He was not supposed to be some secret omniscient romance spy.

Yeah, no. He was done.

Percy didn’t even bother playing along with the dare anymore. He just left, more baffled than he’d ever been in his entire life.

Back at the campfire, his friends turned expectantly.

“What did you find?” Leo grinned.

Percy sat down, looking vaguely haunted. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Cue the teasing, the boos, the dramatic groans of disappointment.

But Percy barely heard them, his gaze fixed on the golden flames.

Chiron knew things.

And that was… terrifying? Flattering? Disturbing? He had no idea.

And frankly?

He never wanted to find out.

[jonathanbyersphd]

Saw this post and wanted your thoughts on it.

“Hc that Jonathan and Nancy have a mutual breakup. I think similar to Steve and Nancy, they have very different goals for their lives. Jonathan doesn’t seem to have any major drive to go to college and make his way up in the world. He’s content to live in Lenora for the rest of his life, taking care of his mom and siblings and smoking with his best friend. Nancy wants to go to college, she wants to get out of small towns and make herself a big name in the world of journalism. I think she’s more interested in her career (and no shade to that!) Considering that she grew up without much supervision from her parents, I don’t think she ever leaned the drive to take care of her siblings like Jonathan did for hers. Jonathan and Nancy originally bonded over being outsiders, but I think they didn’t have much in common outside of both being outsiders in Hawkins. That’s not to say they don’t care about each other- I just think they’re better off friends.”

Hi Nonny

I saw this earlier and SHOCKINGLY chose not to be a hater...

That being said I do think it's INCREDIBLY disingenuous. First, Jonathan isn't content to stay in Lenora, it's something he feels like he HAS to do BECAUSE he's been parentified since he was 12 at least. Like in the show pitch deck it flat out says "While he loves his family very much, he also feels burdened by them" like it's in fucking print.

Second point, this idea that Nancy can't have a career and a love life or family is SOOOOO fucking gross. Like it feels a bit like a dig that she isn't taking care of Mike without processing that she doesn't have to BECAUSE Karen can afford to stay at home in a way that Joyce can't. Like it is normal for Nancy at 17 to have the relationship she does with Mike. Do I wish that they were closer? Yes but that's not on her that's on the duffers forgetting they're siblings.

Additionally, saying that Jonathan and Nancy don't have anything in common other than being outsiders is an argument for people who don't pay attention. Like other than the core of them being birds of feather, you also have the unhinged shared traits that lead them to hunting monsters.

Like they're both inquisitive in nature, and very much truth-seekers, like I know everyone's like "oh he's just her boyfriend in s2 & s3" but like we HAVE to acknowledge that Jonathan also wanted to overthrow the government/burn the lab to the ground. He wanted justice too! HE drove them to driscolls. Like they may have a different way of going about things but part of what makes them good partners is that they're both operating from a place of wanting to change the world. FURTHERMORE, Jonathan has just as much ambition as Nancy. You don't want to go to NYU at age 6 without that. Like I'm so sick of people seeing him depressed and acting like that's his whole character.

Lastly, of course it fucking looks like they don't have anything in common the fucking show only has 34 episodes. Do you know how much more time we could have for characterization if these episodes were longer? Instead, we have to infer. We have to infer that Nancy also likes David Bowie or that they're both avid readers because there's not enough time IN STORY to say it.

[stew-skys-husband]

watched the outsiders musical a few nights ago (slime tutorial bc I'm broke lol) and was ugly crying at midnight so bad I freaked out my brother-

anyway eating the drywall thinking about Darry and how much he's separated from his brothers...

like obviously the fact that he has to be their parent and cant have that same uncomplicated sibling relationship Pony and Soda have with each other, but also even his name?? like. "Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr." <- very much A Name. dare I say a normal name. and then "Sodapop" and "Ponyboy". like tf is that nonsense??

the age gap too!!! soda and pony are two years apart, and pony is a year ahead in school and soda's a dropout, so they're really close age and grade wise. and then there's darry! four (? I think) years older than soda!! he's literally Not as close with them as they are with each other!!!!!

and ofc the fact that he befriended the socs, he was kinda a part of their group, whereas soda is a hardcore greaser and even though pony is a little less so, they beat up his best friend and he probably blames them for johnny's death.

also I think he's a lot like Pony, in ways im too tired to articulate. (*cough including queerness cough*)

anyway sorry for ranting so much I just love darry to pieces and I wanted to ramble to someone abt him

Thank you so much for sharing!!!

-"I think he's a lot like Pony" I think that Darry looks like their dad, soda looks like their mom and Pony looks like Darry. Pony and Darry's relationship is so much more important to me than Soda and Pony's because I can relate to it more. Like I know that at some point Darry pushed Pony aside to hang out with Soda or his own friends and that led Pony to believe Darry hated him. Something I've learned is that when you have siblings, you'll be at each other's throat when you're under the same roof but once one moves away, you'll become best friends. It's the same thing with them. They're so much like each other and that's why they can't stand each other, but the love the other so much but can never say it to their face.

-The greaser gang aren't Darry's friends, but Soda's. Darry's friends were the socs, he was friends with Paul and Bob and Chet and Brill and Trip. He saw them like how he sees the greasers, and then they hurt Johnny, and then they hurt his baby brother. He's stronger than me because i would've been the one to kill Bob.

-And with Darry being isolated: he didn't have someone to look up to comfort himself when their parents died. He didn't have the time to cry because Soda needed someone there for him. Because Pony stopped talking and he didn't know what he could do. He works from dusk till dawn and when he comes home, it's all trashed and nobody did their chores and they're all out partying or going to the movies and he's left alone. When he tries to protect and look out for his brother, he's brushed off as overprotective. And then, when he slapped Pony. He didn't mean to. It happened and suddenly he was 7 again waiting for his momma to scold him for not being careful with Pony. Because Pony was small and didn't understand everything he understood yet. And Darry staying up all nights, trying to tell himself it's okay but he can't.

-Can we mention again that their parents died on his birthday because Pony forgot the frosting? They BOTH have to live with this and look each other in the eyes and tell each other it's not their fault.

-this is me acknowledging that Darry and Pony are both queer and also the thing you said about names (although I hc that Darry chose Soda's name and that Soda chose Pony's name. IT MAKES SENSE)

[maviescafe]

THOUGHTS ON CALEB

We have him for a while now and I've been thinking…

The memories aren't release in chronological order but with Caleb I think we have a detail that the others LIs doesn't have: the bionic arm. I wonder if Infold will divide the memories in before and after it like we see in Painful Signal.

First let's understand Caleb as a person, we now know that he is the typical popular guy wherever he goes, smart good looking and social but he doesn't care about reputation, he focus on being a reliable person and have the skills necessary to escape whatever traumatized him and MC, keeping they both safe from what hurt them. His mentality is not great for someone perceived as perfect, never been and we can't pinpoint when this started but we know that he was an experiment when he was 9 or 10, maybe Josephine took him later? If the nickname Donor 002 appears in his anecdote refers to him, maybe it is possible that he was left in the lab, there is no information about his parents and if they were alive at the time. MC entering his life is also unknown but the fact that he knows she forgets, and remembers her every time makes it possible that his protectiness comes from this, and the Chip makes it 100x worse/intense. He struggles with nightmares to a point he can't even sleep, aside from a candy and soda it doesn't seem he eats like never, he is a great cook but doesn't seem like he eats, he is a buffy dude he should be eating a lot. If he goes through the day only eating Apples....

He is lonely, doesn't share anything with anyone and it's not a liked figure in the Fleet despite him being a Colonel. He knows he is just a weapon and plans to stay like this, if he can make EVER only focus on him, even if it means to be hated by everyone he will do it. But I wonder how much he knows about MC's Core and if the Spatium Core will be used to modify him. At the same time he is ready to drop everything and fly her anywhere, maybe even another planet, if she admits to only wanting to be with him!

His relationship with MC is complex, he is a complex person as much as her and with so many secrets. but one of the things he is sure about is his feelings, through the cards he is constantly saying he knows what he is doing and he is sure about his feelings but he struggles to make the move they both are waiting for (kiss counting: 2, throughout the memories we have available). It hurts seem him stuck and unable to make a move or even address feelings when they clearly have feeling for each other!

The nickname doesn't help, I know it's from a lovely place but he keeps calling Her pipsqueak (it's cute, I'll admite but he need to let it go of this name) because MC thinks he still sees her as a child, unless he changes the nickname or stop calling her that and acknowledge her as a adult she won't step forward and won't allow him to approach either. Maybe he can't let go because he doesn't want to walk away from the time he perceives as the best of their lives, when he "could" protect her if anything happens. Who knows...

Unfortunately here is where we in the Global side will loose some nuances about Caleb and MC, since English doesn't have a direct translations or transliterations for the world Gege BUT we have a reference that allow us to understand what it means. Gege (Mandarim) is translated as older guy in a respectful way and flattering way that also happens to be a form to call your older male sibling, the same works for Oppa (Korean) and Nii-chan (Japanese) but what is it for? So, we know that in Asian languages there is a word called Honorific, a noun that is used to imply and express respect for another person. It's common to refer to someone they know as Gege (older guy friend) or Jiejie (older girl friend) and it's doesn't mean the one expressing and the one receiving are related by blood, in fact it's common to address anyone older like this because it's a respectful way to refer to them. . Unlike us that don't speak Mandarin, we only use honorific in a formal environment rather than day to day life, for us using the person name in any occasion is enough.

The Colonel is a persona, he need this hat to achieve his goals! He is willing to became the villain and do anything he judges necessary to protect her, doesn't matter if she agree or not he is ok if it's to keep her safe. Kevin, Viper, Professor Lucien and the mysterious girl (Evil twin? Where this girl come from?) all know he is protecting her so maybe MC isn't the only target EVER has eyes on… unlikely. Maybe they're waiting to get something or someone (I'm deeply worried about Sylus after knowing they're after the Fountain of Atei and they're heading to the N109 zone)

Skyhaven isn't the incredible place that seemed to be, it's dangerous and EVER controls the place, the Torino Chip seems more than just a modification or enhancement, could it be Lemurian technology or something that Onych was working on, Protocore doesn't seem to be involved in this particularly. But the Farspace Fleet now has the last piece of the Spacium Core, what is stoping them to go to the Hunters Association and get the others pieces…

[vasilissadragomir]

i am mentally disabled. it is not ableist of me to look for myself in fictional characters, nor is it ableist to find parallels in how i am treated by my loved ones and the world at large. i should not have to disclose my disability to get a pass to talk about the possibility of characters being disabled without getting called ableist.

however, i am going to take the opportunity to clarify my intent with this post. i’m not saying that such a demeaning attitude would be justified or acceptable. i’m also not saying sid’s actions in and of themselves suggest anything about his mental abilities. i AM saying that the actions of those AROUND sid say a lot about sid himself. my post is drawing parallels between what we know of how panem treats mental disability and what we’ve seen of sid and haymitch’s relationship. it’s notable how a child with some sort of intellectual disability would be treated in panem. that’s especially true in a book which is explicitly about optics.

first, we have textual evidence of the attitude of district 12 toward mentally disabled people. namely, the way katniss describes greasy sae’s granddaughter, and the way the people of the hob “treat her as a sort of pet.” we also have evidence of how the capitol treats mentally disabled people, in that peacekeepers executed a boy in 11 for taking home a pair of night glasses. whatever understanding the people of the districts have about disability is extremely limited. whatever attitude the capitol has toward the disabled is cruel. the word “simple” was in quotes because katniss regularly uses the term “simpleminded” to describe people with mental disabilities.

as i said in the original post, sid is behaving like a young child because he is a young child. what is notable is how HAYMITCH reacts to sid. from these two small excerpts, we can already identify a sharp contrast between how haymitch thinks and how he acts. internally, he’s frustrated and worried about the reaping. externally, he��s messing around with sid and tossing him on the bed. like with prim, that doesn’t mean anything in and of itself. but when paired with the line about having to explain reaping day to sid, i think it says a lot about sid himself that haymitch and their mother are willing to tolerate insolence about the capitol on reaping day. and that’s what being joyous on reaping day is. insolence.

second, i fundamentally believe that a 10 year old would understand the reaping and the games. we have tons of textual evidence that the brutality of the games is shoved down their throats from a young age. it’s talked about on tv year-round. katniss consistently references games she remembers from when she was younger than her dad’s passing, which happened when she was 11. she goes so far in catching fire as to describe finnick’s games with details, for which she was 7 at most. she notes that she doesn’t remember as much about the games in the years succeeding his death, suggesting she does remember the ones preceding it.

vick, gale’s brother, is also 10. in catching fire, he tells katniss that gale is out hunting. if the hawthornes can trust vick with the knowledge that gale is out committing a capitol offense, and vick is old enough to discern that katniss is a safe person to entrust with that knowledge, 10 year old vick definitely knows what the reaping is. at the very least, he knows enough to be quiet and compliant in front of peacekeepers. further, on parcel day, vick chooses to forego medicine to ensure his siblings had something sweet, too. if he’s old enough to understand scarcity, he’s old enough to comprehend why the scarcity exists.

not to mention, irl, when my brother was 10, he was assigned the first book to read for school. he couldn’t sleep for a week after watching the movies. we had many conversations about panem and its real-world parallels. teachers would not assign the books to 10 year olds if there was nothing to gain from teaching them.

even if you don’t buy that a 10 year old would understand the reaping, haymitch says “i wonder if it’ll be me or ma who sits him down beforehand and explains about his role…” the “beforehand” reads to me as though this is a conversation that’s going to happen right before sid’s first reaping. we know for a fact from prim that 12 year olds don’t discover for the first time that they’re entering the pool the day of their first reaping.

most importantly, they are literally required to attend the reaping before they’re in the pool. they’ve seen it happen for over a decade before they actually participate. the distinction between former reapings and sid’s first year of eligibility is that, like all the other kids his age, for the first time, he won’t be with his mother. he’ll be on his own, responsible for his own actions, with no one to protect him or explain if he misbehaves. it’d be one thing for him not to know where to stand. it’s another thing entirely for haymitch to make a point of mentioning that they’d need to teach sid to be quiet and look nice. unless there’s some reason we don’t know that will make sid’s first year of eligibility his first year attending the reaping (maybe he was on death’s door the first ten years of his life, idk), i truly can’t think of another good reason that sid would not already know how to act at the reaping.

y’all i really think sid abernathy is intellectually and/or developmentally disabled. idk if this is a common belief or not, but after the audio excerpt i’m more convinced than ever. here’s why:

1. sid’s dialogue and behavior

“you said be your rooster. you said you wanted to get to the woods at daylight.”

“haymitch!” wails sid. “the sun’s coming up!”

sid’s language and cadence suggest a young child. which makes sense; he’s 10, which is a young child. so it’s consistent that haymitch would tell sid to be his “rooster,” which is, of course, a callback to “tuck your tail in, little duck.” however, while katniss’ pet name for prim is humorous and light-hearted, her intention in using it is to make prim feel better facing the imminent reaping.

sid’s joy on reaping day, especially the reaping day of the second quarter quell, suggests sid is at best aware but unconcerned about the day’s proceedings, but realistically, that he doesn’t know or understand whatsoever what will occur. as far as he’s concerned, the most important event of the day is haymitch’s birthday.

granted, sid is 10, and prim, at 12, is reaping age. but there’s no way he can avoid the truth about the games or reaping day at school. and haymitch “resistance is not an option” abernathy would not indulge such wanton disregard for the dangers of the day. acting like the reaping isn’t happening is insolence in and of itself. unless, of course, sid’s behavior is not disregard, but true ignorance. and the only way he’d be ignorant of the reaping is if he is, at least in the eyes of haymitch and his mother, incapable of understanding it.

2. sid needing an explanation about the reaping

“i wonder whether it'll be me or ma who sits him down beforehand and explains about his role in the reaping, how he had to look nice and keep his mouth shut and not cause any trouble. even if the unthinkable happens and his name gets drawn, he's got to suck it up, put on the bravest face he can muster and climb onto that stage, because resistance is not an option.”

as implied by sid’s happy attitude in the excerpt, and now confirmed by the audio clip, sid will need to have the reaping explained to him when he turns 12. but in his worry about sid’s first reaping, haymitch is concerned with telling sid step-by-step what to do. and it’s not just about where to stand or the proceedings themselves. he will have to explain to sid that he needs to be quiet and docile.

no kid in district 12 would need it explained to them how to act on reaping day by age 12. that is, unless the normal district 12 peacekeepers would otherwise know that the kid means no harm in stepping out of line. on reaping day, with peacekeeper reinforcements and cameras, the same lenience would not apply. an intellectual disability would explain not only that, but why haymitch and their mother intend to keep sid in his happy ignorance as long as they can.

3. sid’s death within two weeks of haymitch’s defiance

the most common question about snow’s punishment of haymitch is why he didn’t have sid or lenore dove reaped. on lenore dove, it would be too obvious to reap haymitch’s girl just a year or two after haymitch’s games. that’s especially true if haymitch’s insolence is so egregious as to warrant a punishment as severe as the death of all his loved ones. after a year or two lenore dove would be aged out. to create some plausible deniability for the capitol citizens, the only realistic option for snow to reap would be sid.

with sid, he would have nine years to choose exactly the right moment to punish haymitch in this way. if sid is anything like prim, he’d be beloved in the capitol during haymitch’s games, largely for his youth and innocence. but katniss herself considers prim to be reaped. that’s a particularly strong possibility once prim was older, and thus less angelic and harmless in the eyes of the capitol. even still, rue is evidence that age is not reason enough for the capitol to grow sour at the idea of any tribute’s reaping.

so why wouldn’t snow wait it out for sid? i’m sure we’ll get plenty of reasons in the book, but the best explanation is that it would create blowback for snow if sid was reaped, regardless of his age or how beloved he is in the capitol. the most realistic scenario why that would be true is if sid is too naive and “simple” to be a threat, even as an older teen in a strong, adult-like body.

that’s not to say the capitol is “above” reaping a disabled child (see: the boy from 10 in the 75th and wovey in the 10th). but a beloved younger brother of a quarter quell victor who is ALSO developmentally disabled? the optics would be terrible for snow. that’s especially true if the capitol’s attitude toward people with mental disabilities is anything as patronizing as that of the people of district 12 (see: the people at the hob treating greasy sae’s granddaughter like a pet out of ignorance rather than malice).

4. it’s great device to explain the games to the audience without too much info-dumping

we’re going to spend much of the games in haymitch’s head. even in the midst of a battle royale, that can get boring really fast. that issue was avoided in tbosas by snow’s narration, since the boring bits of lucy’s gray’s time in the games were easily supplemented by snow’s life in the capitol.

with katniss, the quiet parts of the games were broken up with flashbacks. the flashbacks served double duty of keeping things interesting AND creating character development/worldbuilding. we saw katniss’ father’s death, her interaction with peeta, her friendship with gale, and her life at home with her mother and prim. her father’s death explained her character, the bread incident her feelings about peeta, her friendship with gale her worldview, and prim/her mother the inter-12 seam/town tensions as well as katniss’ motivations.

unlike with katniss, though, we know a lot about who haymitch is and what happened to him. we don’t need as much basic worldbuilding (and i doubt he’d have much more information than katniss does at this point, anyway), so the only things left are his family and district 12. for haymitch’s family, which is 100% seam in a way katniss’ is not, we’re going to need a new lens through which to view 12. it can’t *just* be typical single-mother seam life; we got most of that through katniss and gale. haymitch’s story has to provide a new angle.

i think that additional layer *has* to be sid. haymitch, unlike katniss, was himself reaped—what is motivating his survival? what makes him different than all the others in the seam, who are reaped to an inevitable death? a clear explanation could be that sid is incapable of surviving if haymitch dies. even with their mother working, everyone has to contribute. and if haymitch doesn’t have a gale, sid’s protection is even less guaranteed.

sure, haymitch might just have the same maternal instinct katniss has for prim, but that’s one of the key distinctions between them in the trilogy. haymitch loves peeta and katniss like they’re his own, and yet he lies to and betrays them in a way that katniss considers unconscionable. and, imo, if it’s as simple as haymitch wanting to protect sid’s innocence like katniss wants to protect prim’s, the similarities between them become less parallels and more replicas. what’s the point of sid’s death if katniss and haymitch are so similar that the loss of their siblings conveys the same message?