#i love the softness of 13th doctor acceptance

[nightmanatee]

the end of time part 2 vs the power of the doctor

[13thdoctorplease]

Hiii, I was wondering if you could do headcannons for the doctors and having an affectionate/cuddly s/o? My fav doctors are 9 & 10 but any doctors are fine <3

your favs are 9&10 and mine are 11&13... so why just dont go with all of them? here you go, anon!

9th: At first, he gives you some weird looks. You grab his hands while walking, and he shoots you a side-eye, but he lets you. Whenever you need him, he's there. When you let him go, he steps back. He doesn't like it when you tap his head or cup his cheeks; he'll pout until you're laughing and wrapping your arms around his neck. Eventually, he gets used to holding you with an arm around your shoulders, letting you rest your head on his chest. Strangers often mistake you for a long-term couple, but in reality, you're just clingy, and he... well, he just can't say no to you.

10th: He's not really expecting it when you run into his arms just because you're excited about the planet you're both visiting, but he immediately accepts and hugs you tight. Later, he realizes he really enjoys physical contact when your hand is always on his arm while you talk. You hug him from behind when he's turned to the console, and he doesn't let you see his smile, but his hands are over yours anyway. You're affectionate, but he's needy. He likes holding hands, and eventually, he starts initiating contact too. It's nice, and you blush when people say you two would make a beautiful couple, especially when he agrees.

11th: He's the one who starts it. He has a hand on your back while you two explore an alien museum, and you take the chance to melt onto his body. He looks at you but says nothing, and now this is simply your thing. You like to be in his arms and to kiss his cheek, and he reciprocates by letting his chin rest on your shoulder/head (depending on how tall you are) and kissing your forehead before you go home. He's soft and goofy, and sometimes he doesn't let you get out of his embrace.

12th: He's not a hugger, and you respect it, but there are plenty of other ways to show your affection. You run your fingers on the back of his neck when sitting next to each other and always play with the collar of his shirt. He tries to pull your hands away, but you come back every time until he gives up and kisses your wrist, letting you do whatever you want. Sometimes he doesn't respond to your touch, but the look in his eyes already says everything you need to know.

13th: She loves everything you do and doesn't seem to notice when you tangle your fingers together. She holds your hand in hers as if it were usual, and that's pretty much it. She's obsessed with hugs, and it's kind of hard to find a moment where she isn't all over you. You couldn't imagine a happier life.

[cateyedfox36]

In this house we KNOW Jason Voorhees did nothing wrong

we watched Jason 2 last night- I'm sorry Friday the 13th part II is too long a title, they're about Jason being a very good boy so they're called Jason movies. Period.- and now I kinda want to watch all of them. Except that crappy one. Where he's Corey Feldman's character all grown up and he thinks he's Jason? And there's this really weird keystone cops vibe to the whole thing? Idk. That ones bad.

But the best one - besides Jason in Space and Jason vs Freddy- is the one where the kids are at camp and these children have hilarious glorious lines like "what did you want to grow up to be?" Bc they just accept that Jason is going to murder them too.

Without looking anything up, I'm pretty sure I can do all the Jason movies. Let's go:

Momma voorhees. Great sweater, excellent momBob, and you get to see Kevin Bacons Bits if you know when to pause the movie. 3.75 stars. Not funny, kinda off vibes

Jason in a bag. He's a very clumsy boy, falls off a whisker chair, is confused by a small dog (who does not die!), and is hit by a car like twice. He only kills like what 6 people on screen? And we get BEST final girl Ginny, who takes a chainsaw to our soft prince, and mind mojos him to think his momma is alive. 5 outta 5 stars! Some nice boobs, creep dies strung up like the perv his is and Jason is mu sweetest baby boi.

Behold, a hockey mask. Much better for peripheral and way more sensibly than a FUCKING BAG! Jason finds a house with stupid horny teens- or college kids? I'm never certain- and another with a newly divorced mom, her slightly sassy daughter and a young monster obsessed Corey Feldman. Pretty good kills, the dog laters out to go join a wolf pack (run by muffin obs), and Corey Feldman gives himself a bad haircut to bond with our big headed hero,Jason. 4.25 outta 5. Funny, more agile Jason, and I had no sympathy for the college idiots who died epically.

The fucking worst. I think they were trying for a Legacy Jason bc he definitely "died" in 3. So elder teen Corey Feldman thinks he's Jason and at the POORLY run TROUBLED TEEN camp he goes to someone starts killing folks. I vaguely remember the actual killer but... who cares. This is the worst. 1 star.

Again w all adulted Corey (reminder not thr actor but the character, but who bothers to remember their names?) Digs up Jason's body, it gets struck by lightning and He's Back! I think this is the one with the biker gang. And the sheriff's daughter has a taste for danger and breaks not-corey out to defeat Jason. 2.5 stars. I think there was an rv death? But a fun scene in a barn!

Jason's not dead, just napping and when he ends up in a morgue his heart infects a doctor who becomes... jason...? It's odd. You guys remember Nightmares on Elm st dream Child? I think it's like that. 2 stars. Fucked if I remember anything from this movie. This is where I get a little shaky

Jason back at camp baby! I think this is the one with the funny kids. And it's just a really straight forward slasher. No lore, no stupid shit just bad counselors getting what they deserve for not watching children. 3.9 stars. Best part is the kids

Jason on a boat. He was in Manhattan for like 10minutes. He kills a kid with a guitar, and the inside of boats are very dangerous. No lore. 3.75 stars

Is there a Jason 9? I don't fucking know but I do know there's...

Jason in SPAAAACEE! And it's amazing. A ship full of med students find Jason cryogenically frozen and a woman as well. They defrost both, murder hijinx ensue. Jason becomes a cyborg. And they completely miss shooting him into the sun. It's so stupid and so good and I love my son! 5 billion stars! Lore? Who needs lore when you've got a cyborg jason?!

Jason vsFreddy. The best team up full stop. With Jason's relentless desire to punish bad teens and Freddy's pervy ass? Forget about it. Nice lore, and the addition of seeing how happy Jason is in his death is perfection. 5 outta 5 stars. Look yes, Jason's gonna kill you, he'll have fun with it, but he won't sexually assault you while doing it.

conclusion: the middle ones suck. Skip them. Watch 2, 3, Jason in Space and Jason vs Freddy.

[adolescenceknight]

Sega opens the dusty coffin of the Project Diva franchise and makes a new game. Brand new. Soft reboot a-la PD F. No returning modules or songs, just a brand new roster, a breath of fresh air. What would you like to see from it? Songs, gameplay, gimmicks, and module wise (unrealistic is ok)

less miku songs. less miku modules. less miku. less 2d videos. bring back challenges for modules instead of buying them. i'd prefer the module system of X but i'd take F. diva room mechanic needs to come back. altnerate vocals from mirai need to come back too. t-shirt mechanic needs to go, you will not be missed. as few assets from sekai as possible

2020-2024 snow miku modules. racing miku modules for all the years they missed. magical mirai modules for all the years they missed. more hitop songs and modules, gonna need alluring secret, party x party, pirate f, you know the drill. can i say gigantic otn and okosensou as full songs and modules instead of in a medley or does that count as returning. well. who cares. i'm saying it anyway. club majesty, doctor funk beat, fraulein biblioteka(?), i'm gonna need them to at least give ONE of them a module. sisters mercy and vampires pathos modules and songs. i'd accept sekai modules as long as EVERYONE got them. put apocalypse 13th in there too why not fuck it i'm going full delusion. more wanopo, at the VERY LEAST good is yeah with the birthday modules. there WILL be cosmo songs so hey you cowards put i am hungry in there. sick house? them too. reirou would love making modules for them. if i could go full delusion on wanopo like i did for hitoyama, i'd like songs and modules for ksgr, negaposi, twin masters, tokyo zombie land, and niccori. uhhh put magical mirror in there you ducking cowards. oh, king and hero? yeah they need modules. can't believe i forgot about them. who cares about realism anymore just put against the world in there too. probably a lot of deco songs for miku but i'm okay with that. preferably fully modeled. not a devil would be perfect for modules.

and ideally they'd make more figures ^w^.

^ delusional.

[honesthammie]

Prompt 39: Death wants you to be terrified. But the scariest thing is wanting death.

13th Doctor x female curvy reader

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuse, fat phobia

I'm sorry for this. Its really depressing and I've been hesitant on letting you guys see it but I kinda like how it's written. I've made the abuser gender neutral as females can also be abusive. I promise the next one will be much happier!

"Come on (y/n), you can make it! Just jump across and reach for my hand. I promise you won't fall." The Doctors voice echoes across the widening canyon. If you looked down, you would only see pitch black. You didn't know how long you'd fall. Maybe this would be the perfect time to just go for it. Its not like you'd matter, you're only slowing the team down as is.

They wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't slip and hit the world shattering drill, turning it on full blast. Unfortunately, you smashed the button making it unable to turn it off. Of course the only way you'd be able to turn it off is to actually go towards it. Everyone in the room screamed at you and some raised their tentacles to attack you if the Doctor didn't step in front of you. You know the Doctor noticed you flinching and your eyes gloss over and noticed you bracing for the impact.

You learned over the years to just accept your fate. You can't run from anyone when you weighed this much. You couldn't hide either, which often left you to just accept what was coming and hope nothing broke. Bruises were always easy to cover and so were any cuts but broken bones, that was always on display and you'd have to break your number one rule: never lie. You hated lying. The truth always comes out anyway so why hide it? If you hide it, you get punished worse anyway so why bother?

If you jumped and actually went with the team, you'd get questioned about earlier and about hesitating at jumping. But if you fell, would the Doctor miss you? As much as you hated to admit it, you were absolutely in love with the adorable alien. Why did you hate to admit it? Because she was a goddess and you were a waste of skin and bones. You weren't skinny and you didn't fit in with the team at all. You were only here out of pity.

You remember when you first met the team. You were the only person alive when they searched underneath the hotel. Even the spiders didn't want you. You were at the hotel because you heard about killer spiders and you wanted an out. You could never do it or something would come up stopping you from ending all your misery. You were the complete opposite of the Doctor. She was so brave and said whatever she wanted and didn't really care for the consequences.

You focused on the Doctors sparkling eyes. Despite the situation, she still sparkled with hope and encouragement. She wasn't upset with you. You really wished she was. This would be such an easier decision to make. Your head was pounding and your heart was going faster than her two hearts. Did you even want her upset? You couldn't tell, your head was spinning wildly, one thought going to another without a chance to process the last one.

You had come to a clear decision. You ran back and let momentum do its thing as your feet left the muddy gravel. You felt so free as you glided in the air for a few seconds. It was the most beautiful feeling. No punishment, no tears before going to sleep and no terror of going back home. Just you and gravity.

Then with a clearer mind you regretted your choice. You were horrified. You weren't ready. It wasn't time yet. Graham can't lose you. He'd only recently lost his wife. He'd feel the same as you and that thought terrified you. He'd survived cancer and gained himself a new family. He can't be like you. Ryan needed him, wether he was willing to admit that or not.

Suddenly you panicked and last minute reached your hand out hoping you'd grab something. Anything. You felt a soft warm object and latched on for dear life. You were then lifted up and onto soil. You focused on your breathing a moment and waited for your heart to calm down. You looked up and saw what, or rather who, saved you. You shouldn't have been so surprised to see the Doctors worried face above yours. She gave you a questioning look, knowing the question, you nodded your head and she straightened herself and helped you up.

"That was great (n/n)! So brave of you! Let's go gang, we've gotta turn this drill off before it splits the planet in half!" She shouted as she ran forward, seemingly knowing the way. She didn't let go of your hand until you reached the drill about 10 minutes later. You couldn't help the blushthat formed on your cheeks. The Doctor quickly opened a panel on the side of the drill.

The drill was massive, bigger than the Eiffel Tower and that what was on surface level, it went down much deeper that it had reached halfway to the liquid nitrogen that ran in this cold planet where our magma centre would be. The drill itself was purple and spherical. The panel box was the size of a human head which was about the size of the civilisations sucker pads. Inside were 3 buttons and 1 lever. You needed to type the pattern that would gain the access to the drill and force stop. If it goes wrong, it speeds up rendering this planet uninhabitable.

You watched as the Doctor quickly typed the pattern in. Red,blue,red,red,red,blue,black,black,blue. That was the pattern she quickly pressed in and held the lever down for 10 seconds. Soon the drill came to a halt and the planet was peaceful once again. You all let out a sigh of relief as it stopped.

You made your way back to the chief of the race and explained that they should dismantle and never use that drill again unless they plan to empty the panet of everything it has within. He quickly agreed and the fam made their way back to the TARDIS.

As soon as tye TARDIS was parked on the edge of your solar system, you got into your comfy clothes ready to nap or maybe play a few games to slow your adrenaline until you were tired enough for a full nights rest. You played a few rounds of uno and some poker where you used some bits of metal instead of chips. Eventually everyone had left except you and the Doctor.

You made your way to the doors of the ship and settled down just watching the stars in front of you. If the sentient machine hadn't already been aware of your darkest thought, you would have jumped out there and been amongst them. Just floating eventually turning to nothing but bones drifting, maybe to never be found. All the sights you've seen and yet this is where you were the most impressed. This was your home, your galaxy and because of all the light pollution, you had never been fully aware of how many neighbours you had because you had been literally blind. This was only stuff captured and faked and now, it's forever in your mind.

You heard movement and a shuffle next you. You knew who it was because she was the only other person awake and you knew she was going to ask and not let it drop until you tell her truth. And you were going to give her it but that doesn't mean you were ready to do so but you had to, someone had to know. Maybe you wanted help or maybe just someone to listen and know everything making you mentally naked in front of them.

The Doctor waited a few moments. She was figuring out how to word it without sounding horrible. "Is everything alright at home?" She asked her voice laced with genuine concern. "Sorry if this sounds a bit abrupt but let me explain. You've been really weird lately. You hardly speak and when you its with as few words as possible, you keep going elsewhere mentally and Rassilion forbid anyone getting angry with you! I also noticed how you hesitated today when jumping and I saw your worry and panic when you jumped. I think I know but I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what is going on! And don't change the subject or anything, just answer me please. I lo-. I can't lose you too." Her voice raised a little as she panicked just speaking about it. Halfway through she grabbed both of your hands and continued her speech.

You looked deep into her eyes for any sign of a lie but there wasn't one. Just like at the canyon, her eyes showed nothing but love. Maybe you should tell her, just her. No Yaz, no Graham and no Ryan. Just you, The Doctor and the TARDIS. You looked away for a moment as you collected your thoughts. However, as you opened your mouth and tried to speak, you found no voice. You couldn't tell her about them. Lord knows what she's capable of. But you've been looking for an out for so damn long. Maybe this is it. She's your out, no death involved.

You walked towards a panel in the console and pushed your hands inside and focused. You focused on the worst time it happened. You concentrated on the fear and everything attached. You couldn't tell her, but you could show her. The TARDIS disappeared into the vortex but didn't seem so sure on landing. She was picking it all up, she felt everything you did and she did not like going. "Please baby girl, I need her to know. I need help but I can't tell her. She's my only out that doesn't involve death and that terrifies me! Please. I understand your hesitation but she needs to see." You spoke mentally to the sentient blue box. She made a sad sound as she gently landed in the moment.

The Doctor looked at you bewildered. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. You walked up to her and grabbed her hand reassuringly. You led her to the doors that separated her from your darkest secret. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

You appeared to be in the basement of your house. You walked up the stairs and took her to a storage room where she could see it happen. You sat in silence for a few minutes only the sounds of breathing and your heartbeat could be heard.

You knew this day off by heart, it plagued your nightmares often. It all started to sweet and went sour so quickly. At this time you were currently on your way back from doing your weekly shop to Tescos making sure you didn't forget their vodka and gin on your way to pay. Thankfully, the shop was only 10 minuets away and you doubted that the TARDIS would make you wait longer than nessacary. Just as the Doctor opened her mouth to speak the door opened and in walked an 18 year old you.

You set the bags down and started sorting the items into their new places. The canned foods go in the cupboard and the meat goes into the fridge. There were loads of food and stuff to go through and place properly. After you placed the last can of baked beans into the cupboard, the door swung open, nearly breaking the door.

They came home from their dealers place early. They stunk of weed and alcohol and had a little white powder around their nose. They looked like they had a good time until they had to come home. It was their dealers birthday so he was having a brothel themed party meaning there were strippers, pole dancers and prostitutes as well. The dealer was a rich guy who practically ran this city. The cops couldn't do anything as he could always bail himself out of jail.

They looked you in your comfy clothes and scoffed. They looked angry. "Why aren't you in your normal clothes babes? I thought I told you to throw away all of that shit. Come on now. Don't tell me I wasted all my well earned money on those clothes I specifically chose for you?"

You shuddered, both in the past and now except now they only made bile rise into your throat. You were so young and vulnerable. Now you know better.

The past you quickly scampered off to get changed. After only 5 minutes you reappeared in what was sexy school girl. The blue miniskirt covered less than most underwear so you were forced to wear a thong. The shirt was a bralet that barely covered your nipples. Your hair was in pigtails and you wore thigh highs. The sight made you silently sick in your mouth. You looked pathetic and weak.

You looked at them expectingly. You were waiting for your next order from them. They seemed to drool at the sight of you. "That's better babes. Why didn't you go shopping like that? Show the world your fat ugly figure? I want you to walk out there and see that no one else wants you but here I am, loving you. I am the only one who will ever like you in the way we have now. Your lucky I've had some fun tonight. All I want is my vodka and a new blunt darling"

You quickly went and grabbed their stuff and walked towards them as they settled in front of the TV. They turned the TV on and put Love Island on. How you hated that show. It made you feel bad for being the size you are. The women on there were beautiful but you also knew that, that kind of beauty costs money. So while your partner had fun watching the show for the romance, you watched it to spot what part of them was bought and what was real. Almost all the women had fake teeth and breasts. You hated how your partner would make snide comments on how they looked compared to you.

"You should be looking like Becky ya know. Beautiful teeth, big perky tits and a fucking great ass. What do you have? Flabs!" And there was the first comment of the day. The first of 30, you counted.

"Yeah well you are fucking broke so I can't look like fucking fake ass Becky or the others!" You thought. Then the Doctor gave you a look of shock and pity and then you realised you said that aloud. Not loud enough for them to hear you but enough for the Doctor.

"Make yourself fucking useful and make me some dinner. I fancy a steak and chips." They ordered as you got up and waddled over to the kitchen. A few minutes in you realised you put too much oil in the pan for the steak but the steak was already in and cooking quick. So quick that it started to smoke just a little bit. You tried blowing it away from them before they realised that you fucked up their dinner but ut was too late. They were already on their feet a marching towards you.

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally poured too much oil in. I'm so sorry. I have a spare steak, you can have my meal for tonight, I could do with skipping a meal anyways, helps me lose weight!" Past you was panicked and present you wasn't much better. Even though you were safe from them, they still made you uneasy. If you were to ever see them again, you'd freeze. They made your blood run cold. Even their voice sent unpleasant shivers down your spine.

"You better make me another steak but I still have to punish you. You fucked up, a lesson needs to be learnt." They said scarily politely. They grabbed your left arm and marched you towards the sink. They also grabbed the burning pan and pinned you so you had no escape as they poured the boiling oil onto your skin. You knew not to scream do you bit into your other arm knowing a bite out of it is better than causing more punishments for screaming.

When they were done left to watch the TV and you knew what that meant. You had to cook the spare steak and make there meal before you can get proper treatment at the hospital. Through your tears of agony, you quickly ran your burnt and bleeding arm under the cold water of the sink. You bit deeper into your other arm and tasting blood, but thay didn't stop you until the left one had cooled down. Then you got an old shirt, ripped 2 pieces of fabric off and wrapped them around both arm Injuries. You then continued their meal.

Once they had the meal they kicked you and punched you in the stomach because the chips were slightly cold and then they drove you to the hospital as they promised. When you had left you didn't realise you had been crying until a drop fell on your arm. You walked out of the storage room and sat on the sofa, turning the TV off.

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of you. The Doctor went silent for a moment. Before she could speak, you decided to speak first.

"I couldn't tell you because I couldn't think if a nice way of telling you. I didn't want to appear weak to you." You cried as your voice cracked in the middle due to the tears and the strain. The Doctor looked at you in pity and disappointment.

"This does not make you weak. Being abused does not make you weak. Because being abused is like being tortured by someone who supposed to love you and cherish you. They are meant to protect you from danger not be the danger. I would never hurt you. I know that I put you in risky situations but believe me, I would never intentionally put you in danger. You mean too much to me" The Doctor softly spoke with tears making a little river down her soft cheeks and onto your black carpet below.

"Before I met them, I was like you or Yaz. I was so happy at everything. Very little could bring me down. But I met them and started dating them and suddenly, my world of sunshine faded to grey. There was no light. I wanted to die Doctor. When you found me at that spider hotel, I wanted to be free from them as I couldn't do it. I can't because they'd kill me. I don't want to be alive whilst I'm with them. I have so many scars from either them or me trying to end my own life and that the scariest thing. Death wants us to be terrified but wanting to die is so much more terrifying Doctor, I know that." You cried as you emptied all you could to her. The Doctor was silent for a moment, taking in everything you said. Waves of emotion flashed through her, anger, sadness, pity and something you couldn't quite place.

"You said wanted. That's past tense. You said wanted to die. What changed? What made you want to live?"

"You did. You saved me from the spiders. You gave me a temporary out of the relationship for a while. You made me smile for the first time in 3 years! You made me laugh. The world of grey is now full of sunshine and rainbows Doctor. You also saved me today. When I jumped across that canyon, I jumped to end my life. I made a mistake that nearly ended a planet! If I wasn't so fat and clumsy maybe i-"

"Don't you dare say that! You are not fat (n/n). Yes you have more plush to your body but you are not fat. I hate that word. Its such a nasty word. You are gorgeous, amazing and so brilliant. You can't see what I see and I really wished you could for just one moment. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. You are precious, rare, one of a kind. I've never met anyone like you. There's always some skinny, fake bodied and caked up women but there's no one with as much natural beauty as you! Let's get back to the TARDIS and we'll talk more when looking at the stars because I can see that being here isn't doing you any favours" The Doctor spoke with such passion that you started to believe that her words held more than those of a supporting friend would.

Once the TARDIS was parked in the Milky Way you settled by the door once again and found yourself accompanied by the sweet alien. You both sat there for a moment just content with wrapping your heads around what's just happened. You looked over to the blonde and noticed how the stars made her glow in such an ethereal way that you felt almost compelled to worship her. Maybe you should after everything she's done for you. Her eyes sparkled with si many emotions from the past senario.

"Are you still with them?"

"Why do you think I never left this place? I mean even if could, I wouldn't want to but it's mainly because if I go back home, I'll come back with more injuries. I feel safer with you. You are my sunshine and rainbows and they are my storm clouds. Whilst I'm here, I'm alive and mostly unbroken. Whilst I'm there, I'm as alive as a puppet and severely broken. I can't leave, not on my own anyway."

The Doctor looked at you in thought. "The starlight compliments you. You look so pretty and almost angelic. I just wish they never hurt my angel. My innocent angel had broken wings and I'm going to fix what the Devil broke, I promise. Just hold on, I'm going to take us somewhere."

You held the nearest crystal as the TARDIS transported you somewhere but it seemed like the sentient machine was determined to take you there as quick as she could. As you opened the doors you noticed a familiar smell of weed mixed with alcohol. You heard the familiar tune of Love Island and knew exactly where you were. You were home. The Doctor saw your hesitation and whispered softly, "I want you to pack everything you want. I've written a note for them to find. I'm going to put it on the bed. If they notice you scream for me and I'll be there. They will not hurt you much, hopefully not at all. I just need to do something in the TARDIS before I help you." She turned and left into the TARDIS and disappeared down a corridor.

The atmosphere sent chills down your spine and you were frozen. The TARDIS seemed to notice and words of encouragement were sent into your head which helped you move towards your bedroom. You quickly buy quietly opend your suitcase and started to fill it with clothing and hygiene products. As you entered the bathroom a bottle of their shampoo fell into the tub giving you away. You knew you only had so long before they came in and hurt you so you closed the door and barricaded it with whatever you could.

As you pushed the last cabinet to the pile they roared through the wooden door. "Let me in you fat dumb bitch. You've been gone for 3 weeks and you've got some balls coming back! You're lucky I haven't burned all your shit! Where have you been?"

Your heart ran at an extremely fast pace nd you knew only one person could help you now. And so you screamed her name so loud it hurt your throat bit that didn't stop you. You screamed until you heard talking. You couldn't understand what was said but suddenly a thud was heard and then silence.

"Hey Starlight! It's only me. I've taken care of them. They're not dead but in a venishion aikido. They can't move, they're paralysed. You can come out and finish packing"

You moved everything out of the door and opened it to a view you expected. The Doctor with 2 fingers to their pulse point on their neck. The Doctor smiled at when they saw you. You finished packing and zipped the bag up. Then Yaz walked in with her police uniform on and arrested them for domestic violence and many other things. Now you understood why The Doctor left, it was to get Yaz as a back up option to completely take them out of your life.

The Doctor helped open doors for you as you got your room and you set the suitcase to one side to empty another day. You both sat down on your bed. The sound was filled with nothing but 2 lifeforms breathing and the TARDIS faint buzzing. You two stayed like this, staring into each other, trying to read the others emotions. But we all know what The Doctor is like, she can't stay silent for long.

"I had to save you because as long as you were with them, you weren't ever going to be truly happy. I didn't want my big bright star to turn into a black hole, I wanted her to be a supernova. My Starlight deserves to be happy."

"You keep saying my Doctor. And you asked if I was still with them and then when I basically said yes, you quickly, as in a rush, sent us home so I could leave them. You keep saying all these things about me. You held my hand from the canyon to the drill. You are always the first to check on me and you always make sure I'm OK first even if I'm the farthest person from you! Doctor, be honest, I don't want any more bullshit. Doctor why?" You spoke softly but with determination. The Doctor blushed and shifted her gaze to the stars and quietly gulped. She knew this day would come. The day her secret was revealed. And she dreaded her answer and she dreaded your reaction. And whilst she figured out what to say, you already knew the answer.

You gently grabbed her chin and made her look at you. Once her gaze caught yours, you smiled and placed your lips to her soft ones. Quickly she caught up and kissed you back with all the love and passion she could muster. She wanted to relay that she did love you and that she would do exactly as she said earlier, she would cherish you.

As for you, you smiled. You finally had an out that didn't end in death but instead ended with the same love that you yearned for, for years.

[whittakerjodie]

The Carriage Ride (13th Doctor X Reader)

For: The wonderful Jenny, @myghostmonument​ , as part of the secret Santa exchange for the Thirsting For Thirteen server. 

Words: 2.4k

A/N: Happy secret Santa, Jenny! I am so glad to know you and have the privilege of writing a piece for you <3 I hope that you enjoy this and the funny little alien names! 

“Wish we could’ve arrived with the first snowfall,” The Doctor said sadly. 

The two of you had decided to take a solo trip together. Yaz was feeling a bit tired and needed to see her sister for a bit. There was an opportunity for you, too, to take a small break on Earth. But the idea of spending time with the Doctor one-on-one was much more appealing than the pulls of daily life.

“I think it’s alright, still,” You said, defending your current scenario. The planet where you’d landed was still absolutely stunning. Even with a couple inches of snow covering most features, it was easy to appreciate that which you could see. The sky was a light lavender, darkest in the areas where there were clouds. Delicate flecks of snow fluttered to the ground, adding to the previously built layers.

It was beautiful, and you were happy to be there. The Doctor had explained the planet and it’s fun little backstory on the ride over, but truthfully, you’d not been paying attention. You knew it was Christmas, or at the very least a Christmas-adjacent holiday for the locals. The aesthetic certainly fit the bill, something you were sure was what persuaded the Doctor to bring you there.

“Yeah?” the Doctor asked, seeking a little extra validation. You nodded, giving it to her easily. She certainly deserved it, after the tough time you’d all had recently. “Well, good. There’s tons to do here. Hot cocoa- or, something that tastes like it at least. Sledding, carriage rides…”

“Oooh, like a horse drawn carriage?” You asked. The Doctor nodded. She stepped closer to you, linking her arm through yours as she led you towards an unknown destination.

“Not horse drawn, qauwukdeen drawn!” she said cheerfully. You scoffed.

“Say that five times fast.” When the Doctor opened her mouth, you clarified: “not actually, just a funny name. So what do they look like.”

“Like horses.” The Doctor replied bluntly. You laughed.

“So, just horses with a funny name then. Interesting.” 

Despite their format matching that of an Earth horse, the creatures still deviated in appearance. It’s mane seemed to be a collage of differently colored tentacles, all twisting and flowing with a mind of their own, without consideration for the wind. It was beautiful, like watching a rainbow solidify and dance. It’s hair was a mint green, mixing nicely with the snow it was walking through. There was only one per carriage, but the Doctor explained that the qauwukdeen were born with an immense strength. Pulling a carriage solo would be the equivalent of a feather for the creature.

It was a few minutes wait so that the qauwukdeen could eat a nice meal, but you didn’t mind. The Doctor's arm was still linked with yours, which was a welcomed, warm presence. Other couples smiled at you as they passed on their way to other festivities. Your face warmed then, too. Other couples. Implying that you and the Doctor were one.

Eventually, it was your turn to go on the carriage ride. You winced when you saw how big the step up was. Luckily, the Doctor was more than willing to help. Standing behind you, she gently set both of her hands on your waist. You jumped a little at the blazing hot, unexpected contact. The Doctor didn’t seem to notice your blip. If she did, she only used it to her advantage to successfully lift you up into the carriage.

Feeling bold and as if you should return the favor, you offered your hand to the timelord once you were in your seat. She accepted it with a wide grin, leaving her hand in yours once she was able to pull herself up. The two of you sat comfortably in the carriage, and it began to pull you off into the luscious, thick forest. It was rather dark, but the moonlight reflected on the snow to provide enough visibility. You gasped as the qauwukdeen pulled you farther and farther away from the town, giving you a tour of the incredible mountain passes that surrounded it. The landscape was beyond incredible. The Doctor was a little bit more relaxed, being accustomed to alien scenery.

Unfortunately, the relaxation didn’t last long. Almost a half an hour into the ride, you suddenly felt tense. By that point, you’d naturally gravitated towards the Doctor and were leaning your weight into her. Because of this, she could feel your tension. She pulled back, frowning. “What’s wrong?” She asked. You shrugged, looking at the scenery around you. Everything just suddenly seemed a little darker, a little colder. Interestingly enough, the qauwukdeen seemed to share your feelings. It slowed it’s pace ever so slightly. The decrease in footfall made it easier for you to pick up on the new movements. Something was coming out of the forest, towards you.

Even your high nerves paled in comparison to those of the qauwukdeen, which began to buck and cry out, fighting to get away from whatever mysterious creature was approaching. Unfortunately, it was partially attached to the carriage. While it attempted escape, it took you with it, throwing you into a sequence of movements that could only be described as chaos.

Your stomach swung in time with the carriage as you were thrown from side to side, the qauwukdeen taking off at a breakneck pace. The Doctor tried to grab onto you to stabilize both of your movements, but it was no use. The carriage, in the midst of moving so chaotically, suddenly collided with one of the many thick trees of the forest. You let out a loud yelp as you were tossed from your seat into the snow. It was a soft landing, thankfully, but the cold was jarring nonetheless.

You spat the snow out of your mouth with a disgusted groan, shifting your wait so that you were sitting upward. Unfortunately, the movement seemed to connect something in your body and you were suddenly aware of an intense pain in your foot. Hissing, you tried to bring it closer as some form of comfort to yourself. It did nothing to ease the pain.

You could hear more footsteps on snow, drawing closer, and were very happy to note that it was the Doctor coming towards you. Her face was contorted with concern, snow falling off of her as she ran to meet you on the ground.

“Alright?” She asked, brushing some of the snow off you. As the pain began to spread, you shook your head quickly. The Doctor carefully inspected your foot with a deep frown. “Not broken, thankfully, but it went through quite a bit in the crash.”

“What about you?” You asked. Then, you gasped when your eyes fell on a large mark on her face. “Amazing, actually, considering. Don’t worry about the face, just the qauwukdeen panicking a little. They’re alright, more worried about getting home on time for a visit with their son. You mind if I pick you up?”

“Pick…” You trailed off, cheeks warming hot enough to melt the snowflakes resting on them. She was only offering because of your foot, you told yourself. Shakily, you answered “Sure.”

The Doctor awkwardly eased her arms underneath your body, one supporting your back and the other your legs. As she pulled you both upward, you found yourself pressed tightly against her. She seemingly took little note of the close proximity, carrying you back over to the site of the crash. You gasped, a short cloud of breath breaking through the cold winter air. The carriage was in ruins; the qauwukdeen was staring down at the splintered wood, uninjured.

“No chance of fixing the carriage I reckon” The Doctor said. Your eyes widened; You had felt the words vibrate in her chest as they moved through the air. It was a feeling you loved and tucked away in your mind to cherish later. “We’ll have to hitch a ride back on Justine, and I can pay for the damages when we get there”

By now, the pair of you were right next to the creature, who was apparently known as “Justine?”

“Yup, that's their name! Don’t worry about not knowing it, they say they only give it out to the “cool” customers. Guess we fall under that criteria!” You chuckled lightly and reached out to pet Justine's incredible mane, shivering at the odd sensation as the tentacle-like strands ran through your fingers. Justine made an appreciative noise, and the Doctor smiled down at you.

“Are you comfortable sitting in the back? That way I can have better control. You can hang on to me if you need.”

“Yeah, that’s fine” The Doctor, already holding you up, used it to her advantage and lifted you onto Justine’s back easily. There was a slight strain on your foot still, but not enough for it to be unbearable. Still, when you winced, the Doctor paused and stared for a good long moment. You smiled a little to let her know she didn’t have to worry, and she unfroze. It was easy enough to believe that the Doctor had previous riding experience, as she easily climbed utop Justine and grasped her reins.

Your hands stayed down by your side, despite the Doctor’s offer to hang on to her. It felt a little too intimate, too close. Because you weren’t hanging on, the Doctor took things easy and Justine moved slowly back towards town. It was comfortable, and gave you enough time to appreciate the scenery even more. However, due to the speed, it was taking a lot longer to get back into town. The later into the night it got, the heavier your eyelids grew and the more effort it took to hold up your body.

After your third loud yawn, the Doctor reached back and calmly grasped your arms, leading them to rest around her waist. It drew your entire body closer to her, until your full weight relied on her strong figure. The warmth that greeted you as your head naturally tucked into the crook of her neck was unparalleled. Although the entire situation was designed to pull you into rest, it instead made you awaken further. As Justine picked up a little speed, you dedicated your time to memorizing the contour of your shape against hers.

Parting with Justine was a little bittersweet, but there was no time for goodbyes. According to the Doctor, they were 10 minutes late to go see their son. The Doctor apologized, and the qauwukdeen ran off as soon as their gear was removed. Other qauwukdeen’s followed as the carriage rides ended for the night. The Doctor paid for the damages to the carriage, despite the owners reassurances. Then, she turned back to you. For the last few minutes, you’d been sitting on one of the town's benches, waiting for business to wrap up.

“You sit tight, yeah? I’ll bring the TARDIS ‘round” You nodded happily, watching her disappear. Your body was still buzzing from the contact, every molecule asking whether there was more to come. Truthfully, you didn’t know. Certainly, things felt a little close the whole night, but there was still a giant chasm to cross. Telling anyone that you loved them was hard, but it was exponentially worse when that certain someone was an immortal time travelling alien that seemed to be operating on a different plane of existence at all times.

Just when you thought you were resolved to stay silent forever, the familiar Vwhorp, Vwhorp sounded. Blue walls began to appear around you. It was home, now. And the best feature of that home was standing just ahead of you, finishing up her work at the console. The lights of the TARDIS casted a warm glow over her head, and the cold you’d faced throughout the day was suddenly forgotten entirely. There was simply no way to keep silent. At least not entirely.

The Doctor helped you off the bench, not caring that she had stolen it from the quaint little town. “Feeling better dear?”

“Yeah, a lot better” Your blood rushed a little as the two of you casually moved past the word dear.

After telling her you were more awake then before, the Doctor had brought you to the TARDIS library for some more relaxation. Once you were settled on the couch she created a large fire, shutting out any cold that might remain. Then, she took a seat next to you. You stared at her for a moment, before your eyes drifted to her hand, which rested against her thigh.

She perked up a little, considering her hand in yours. “Doctor,” You murmured. “You know that I appreciate you, don’t you?”

Her eyes brightened, and she set her other hand on top of your conjoined ones, monopolizing the gesture. “I appreciate you too, Y/N. Where’s this coming from?”

“Doesn’t come from anywhere or- well, maybe it just comes from everywhere” You admitted. Be brave, you whispered in your head. “All of these adventures… I love it. I love-”

“I love you too” The Doctor broke through your courageous admittance. Her eyes widened a little, then a lot. “Was that not-”

Her hands began to slip away from yours, and you grasped them even tighter. “Doctor! You love me?”

You both stared at one another, neither sure of what to say. The Doctor seemed more shocked then you, like she hadn’t been planning her words like you had. Her lifetimes of skills kicked in, though, as she pulled your hand up to her mouth and kissed the back of it gently.

“I do love you,” She whispered softly, caressing the spot where she’d left a kiss with her thumb. “If that’s alright, I mean.”

“Of course it’s alright, “ You laughed breathlessly. “Doctor, I love you too.”

“Oh, Y/N,” She sighed. “You don’t know what it means for me to hear that.”

You grinned, moving forward to embrace her in full. She accepted the hug, her head nestling against your shoulder.

“You know, earlier, when you were holding on to me… I kept wondering if I’d ever get a chance to hold you like that” Her arms wrapped around you a little tighter, like she was afraid you’d slip away if she didn’t keep you secured. “Now I know what it feels like.”

She said it so relieved, like she’d been waiting centuries, eons, just to have you there in her arms. The two of you leaned your full weight into one another, burying yourselves in the knowledge that you both felt the same: warm, safe, and most importantly, loved.

[onechicagorpf]

Not A Stranger - Part 3

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med intern)

Waking up in bed next to a random naked guy after a drunken night out usually sucks, but eh, whatever. you’ll never see him again, right? Well except this time, random naked guy turns out to be your ED attending’s little brother, so maybe you’re a little bit screwed…

Read Part 1 here Read Part 2 here Read Part 4 here

Warnings: SMUT. A little bit of R-rated smut! Swearing, the usual cuss words. Some angst/PTSD, although it’s not overtly discussed. Dubious medical content (discussion of amputation & blood), some of which has been shamelessly lifted from a season 3 episode of Code Black!

A/N: So there’s definitely going to be a Part 4, lol! I’ll try and have it out by this time next week. Send me asks/messages/leave a note if you liked this and want to see more - it really makes me feel so much less insecure about my writing ahaha! Also do send me short prompts or requests that I can fill as blurbs (i.e. nothing that’s going to be a several chapter story - I will request those later on!) - preferably for Jay but I can do Will as well! Female!Halstead sibling is also okay :) Anyway enough talking, enjoy!

PS: I make mention of bearded Jay in this chapter; this gif is totally the version of him I had in my head for this chapter!

"Walter Holden. 16 years old, victim of an auto accident, came in with a dislocated right leg."

There's droplets of rain on the other side of the windows. It blurs the view - all of a sudden, the buildings you can usually see from the 13th floor of the hospital are just fuzzy, beige blocks.

"Preliminary exam showed no other major trauma, and his vital signs were strong. His leg just had to be reset."

A shudder goes down your spine - was the hospital's conference room always this cold? Well, you don't know - you've never been in here before.

"Dr Halstead advised 10 mil of morphine, but the patient refused pain medication, and the leg was reset. It was at this point that Dr Halstead handed the patient off to Dr Y/L/N, requesting her to evaluate his leg for blood flow."

There's been a strange tapping noise for the last 5 minutes, but only now do you realise it's your fingers against the oval, wooden table.

"Dr Y/L/N? Dr Y/L/N!" You snap out of your reverie and look up. Dr Lanik's glaring at you. You apologise. He takes his seat, next to Mrs Goodwin and Will, both of whom send you a soft smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes. They're trying to be reassuring, but it doesn't matter - you're ready to drown yourself.

Clearing your throat, you speak. "I was instructed to evaluate his right leg for blood flow. I did so by checking his pulses, uh, dorsalis pedis and posterior tibialis." You pause, as some of the other occupants in the conference room - all members of the board or lawyers, all wearing pristine suits and a cold, calculating expression - turned to look at each other.

You clear your throat again. "It was a uh, a textbook exam."

"I'm sorry, in which textbook does it say to check for an arterial injury by just palpating a pulse?" Dr Lanik cuts in sharp.  Will closes his eyes, as you struggle to breath normally.

"90% of all patients - "

"I can't hear you, Dr Y/L/N." Dr Lanik's voice booms across the room, and Will's had it.

"This is ridiculous, there's no need to be intimidating her like this - she's a first year resident and - "

"And she was satisfied with a pulse check to evaluate blood flow? Do I need to remind everyone here that the acceptable course of action in this scenario is to order a doppler or an ABI? That boy's leg was sitting for ages without proper blood flow, and eventually the best we could do for him was amputate it."

Will shakes his head vehemently. "Pathology's looked over the leg - they determined that the severity of the accident combined with the amount of time it took CFD to extricate Holden from the car meant that his leg wasn't viable before he even stepped into the ED." Will turns to you, his eyes piercing as he spoke directly to you.

"There was nothing you could've done that would've changed the outcome. Nothing."

You take a deep breath. You don't nod.

"Alright, we've heard everything we need to hear." The head of the legal department says, after a few moments of discussion with the board members. "Given the findings from Pathology, we will not be terminating Dr Y/L/N's employment here at Chicago Med. However, we recommend that her OR privileges be revoked, and that she is attached to an attending for a duration of 2 months, by which point hopefully she will learn that not every case is a textbook case." She stares directly at you. "Dismissed." Chairs scrape against the floor as everyone makes their leave.

Will places his hand on your shoulder, and you realise you haven't moved even after everyone's left.

His voice is soft. "We all make mistakes. And - "

"I could've been the reason he lost his leg. If he'd come in with ample time to save the leg, and I just - and I just didn't realise it, I could've been the reason a kid had to lose a leg." There's tears in your eyes as you turn to look at Will, who just sighs.

"Yeah. But that's not what happened."

"I got lucky." You shrug, tears freely streaming down your face now. "I just got lucky."

Will doesn't say anything. He just hugs you.

***

It's not the kind of thing you just get over, you realise, because it's been 5 days since it happened but you can't get it out of your head. You've been barely getting any sleep; often you jerk awake in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning, after which it's next to impossible to fall asleep again. It's also affecting your work more than just making you tired - you keep second-guessing your medical judgements, deferring to Will or Natalie or Ethan for anything and everything. None of them bite at you for it, because they know what's going on and they know what you're going through, but some part of you wishes they would. Wishes that they'd just grab you by the shoulders and shake you, and say "Be a damn doctor."

Dr Charles met with you for lunch earlier today, and you lamented your troubles. The kind and thoughtful psychiatrist patiently listened, before giving you some wisdom you needed to hear. Amongst which was "find a distraction".

"You mean focus on something else?" You asked, chasing a watermelon cube at the bottom of your fruit cup.

"Yeah, but it's a little bit of a dangerous tactic. See, you don't want to distract yourself from dealing with the pain and the guilt you feel, because emotions don't tend to go away when you suppress them like that. But if you're having trouble processing it, it can be helpful to take your mind off of it for a while, wait til some time has passed and it's not so...intense. And maybe then it'll be easier to tackle and get over, y'know?" Dr Charles advised and you nodded, taking it in.

You think about what exactly you could do to distract yourself as you finish your shift and make your way towards your car in the parking lot.

Maybe I should take up painting?

The thought of yourself - little miss notoriously bad at anything artsy - trying to paint has you chuckling softly. You're about to give up on this whole distract yourself thing when, as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text message. You get into your car, turn on the heating, and pull out your phone.

J.H. 11:32PM

So...guess who's back :)

You can't help the smile on your face. Jay's been undercover for the past week - it actually got started the next morning after the night you went over for "hockey". He'd gotten a text early in the morning asking him to come in, and so the two of you had actually barely spoken since...the festivities of that night.

You 11:33PM

Congrats, detective :)

J.H. 11:33PM

Wanna come over and help me celebrate?

Huh. Well maybe Dr Charles wasn't off-target with the whole "distract yourself" thing - although you're positive having meaningless sex is probably not one of the healthy methods of distraction that he was envisioning.

But quickly, you realise it doesn't matter - ever since what happened, you haven't been sleeping well at night. It's been close to 6 days and you're wrecked, so maybe some good, tires-you-out-completely sex is exactly what you need?

You 11:34PM

Be there in 15

 J.H. 11:34PM

Can't wait :)

 Your lips curve into a smile as you pull out of the parking lot and down into the main road.

***

"I've been waiting to do this...for so long..." Jay murmurs in your ear before pressing kisses down the side of your neck, his hands roaming all over your body. You tilt your head to the side, exposing the expanse of your neck to him.

“It’s only been…a couple ‘a days…” You reply softly, and you feel Jay’s huffs of soft laughter into your neck. You turn to look at him, pulling away. “What?”

There’s a teasing smile on his face. “Most women take it as a compliment if a guy says he hasn’t stopped thinking about her.”

You shake you head, putting on a teasing look, “Uh-uh, that’s not what you said, you said you’ve been wanting to do this – ”

“It was implied – ”

“It wasn’t implied and even if it was – ”

“It was implied and even if it wasn’t, that’s still a compliment.” Jay says pointedly, a huge grin on his face. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to hide the growing smile on your face. He chuckles, seeing right through you.

You smack his arm. “You keep laughing at me in bed and I’m gonna get mad.” This gets Jay full-on laughing, and your jaw drops in pretend-outrage. “You fucking – ”

“No, no, no c’mere – ” Jay pacifies you, leaning over you, arms on either side of you as he starts to kiss your face, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. But there’s still the slightest smile pulling up the corners of his lips, and when he presses them to your lips, you can’t help but laugh into the kiss. Jay reaches up and holds your face, the kiss becoming soft, loving, drawn-out, and some feeling deep in your core tells you you’re just…somewhere else right now. You don’t know how to describe it, other than that everything in this moment feels perfect, feels right.

A shiver goes down your spine, and maybe it’s because Jay’s shifted, and is now sucking a spot on the base of your neck, hard and strong and deep, and his hands are skimming downwards, unbuttoning your soft cotton top before unzipping your jeans. And maybe it’s because you don’t know what the fuck you are doing here, with him, with all of this. You think about how wrong this is, how bad this is, how his brother’s your boss and this was just supposed to be one drunken hookup and then it became two (except you weren’t even drunk that time) and now it’s about to become three –

“Y/N?” Jay calls softly, and you look at him – his hands resting gently over the hem of your panties, his face hovering over the space between your legs, and the look of…almost reverence in his shining green eyes.

You stop thinking.

Your hands reach downward, sliding your panties off and Jay eagerly helps, getting them off completely. Just like last time, Jay draws out the foreplay – kissing, licking, and nipping at the skin of your inner thighs, making the heat in your core build. Running your fingers through his dark hair, you yank it a little to get him to get going, and he pinches your hip – a quick slap of the wrist. Laughing, you repeat the action, pulling on his hair, and he groans.

“You’re real impatient, you know?”

“Jayyyyyyyy,” You whine, pouting down at him. He’s got this look of a predator – a confident, cocky smile on his face. Jay dips his head down, his mouth making contact with your cunt.

“There we go,” You murmur, gasping as you feel his hot breath on your most sensitive regions. Jay’s hands grip tight into your supple skin, holding your thighs open for him as his tongue circles your opening. Your back arcs as you moan, the sensation of his tongue on you setting off what feels like fireworks in your head. Jay’s mouth presses into you, hard and deep, his tongue licking and lapping at your now sopping wet cunt.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck – ” You whisper, eyelids fluttering shut as Jay softly flicks his tongue over your clit. He repeats the motion, going up and down, teasing your clit and your hip jerks upwards sharply in response. Settling your ass back down against his soft sheets, you catch your breath and mutter a soft apology – “Shit, sorry,” – and Jay taps your thigh, a silent “don’t worry about it”, as he’s nosed his way back between your legs immediately.

Jay laps at your folds and you try to keep your head about you, try to not lose your mind, but it just feels so good. He sucks your clit into his mouth gently and your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Oh my god, ohhh my god – fuck!” You whimper, as he keeps sucking your clit, pausing to flick his tongue over it. Your fingers clutch the sheets around you hard enough to rip holes in them. The loud moans out of your mouth are bordering on screams. The feeling in your core, the heat, starts rising like a wave reaching a shore –

“I’m gonna – I’m gonna – I’m gonna – ah, ah, ahhhh – fuck! Fuck, fuck – Jay! Jay!” You scream, your vision whiting out completely as you arch off the bed, riding out the waves of pleasure wrecking your body. You hands fly downwards to grab Jay’s head as you jerk away from his still-working mouth, your oversensitive clit causing tears to pool in your eyes. Pulling him up, you whisper his name over and over again, like he’s the only gospel you know. Jay shifts up, laying down next to you and pulling you close, your bodies fitting into each other like a perfect pair of puzzle pieces. You look at him through your teary eyes and all you see are his green irises staring right back at you with a measure of something dark and lustful in them. You hold his face in your hands, running a thumb over the rough stubble of his cheeks, his jaw, where a soft beard has started to grow. His lips are glossy and wet, from you, and you see now there’s a soft pink line going across his nose that you trace with your hands, frowning.

“I’m okay,” Jay says in a soothing voice.

“What happened?” You ask, concerned, the frown between your eyebrows deepening as you look up at him.

A soft smile. “Kinda got into a fight. Guy tried to punch me, I dodged it, but his fingernail scratched me. It’s fine.” Jay replies quickly, and his face is so close to yours that you’re breathing the same air. You don’t say anything, but you must still be frowning because Jay speaks again. “It’s literally just a scratch.” You hum softly in response, running your hands down his front, unbuttoning his shirt, scanning the expanse of his chest and abdomen with your fingertips and your eyes.

Jay lifts your chin and you turn back to him. “What?”

“Are you checking me for other injuries?” He asks, chuckling. You look back down, pausing for a moment. “Maybe…it’s not like you’d tell me if you got hurt, right?” Jay just laughs, and there’s your answer. You ignore the burgeoning feelings in your heart of some kind of dejection.

Your fingers run over a sliver of raised skin, on his lower right flank. It’s a thin, pale pink scar that runs about 3 inches. You work in an ED – you know exactly what this is.

“You were stabbed?” You ask, stunned. “When?”

Jay sighs, grabbing your fingers in his hand and holding them closed. “Army stuff. Not a big deal.” He pushes your fingers away to your own body, and then reaches for the blanket and pulls it up over the two of you, like as if the conversation’s over.

“You don’t want to talk about the Army,” you point out, as Jay lays on his back, some distance between the two of you. He sighs again, looking upwards at the ceiling. “Is that a question or a statement?”

You know you shouldn’t push, but you do anyway.

“You should talk to someone about it  – ”

“I talk to people about it. I have.” Jay’s voice is tight. He’s still not looking at you.

“You can talk to me about it...” You say, and you’re terrified. Because what you’re really asking is “Do you think I’m close enough, do you care about me enough to let me in?”.

Jay turns to you, a soft smile on his face. “It’s fine. I’ve got other people for that.”

Hiding the immense desolation that’s weighing like an anchor on your chest from showing, you just send a shallow smile his way. 

He’s got other people for that. He’s got other people for sharing his feelings, his pain, his suffering, his life. He doesn’t want you for that, I mean, why would he share all of that with you? You’re just a warm body – some random girl he’s having sex with. Nothing more.

You pull the blankets tighter around you, turning away from Jay. Trying your best to quell the wave of sadness flooding what feels like every single part of you, you drift asleep. 

***

“Dr Y/N?”

You turn, and there’s Walter Holden on a bed in the ED.

“Walter?” You walk to his side, stunned. He’s crying – tears spilling out of his soft baby blue eyes, his youthful face scrunched up in pain and anguish.

“Why did you do this to me? Why?!” He yells, his voice cracking. You shake your head. “Walter, Walter I’m so sorry – I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to – ” You choke on your words, and as you look down the bed you realise that Walter’s amputated leg is bleeding at the stump.

“Oh god, oh my god – ” You get up, shocked as the blood starts gushing. Walter screams.

“Help me! Dr Y/N – help me! Help me!”

You hear your heart hammering in your ears, your head is spinning, you stand up and you feel faint.

Will rushes into the room. He starts holding as much gauze as he can to Walter’s leg. Nurses and doctors flood the room, and they begin moving Walter out. You’re standing, back pressed to the treatment room wall, aghast. 

Will turns to you, his face red with rage. “What are you even doing?! Fucking hell, Y/N – you can’t do anything right?!”

There’s a painful lump in your throat, and you can’t breathe. Something grabs your hand and you snap your head. It’s Walter, and as they wheel his bed out, he looks at you with so much fury and torment in his eyes.

“YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE A DOCTOR!”

“No, no, no, I’m so sorry Walter, I’m so sorry – I’m so sorry – this can’t be happening, no, no no no – ” Tears stream down your face and you start shaking. Your knees buckle, and you fall to the ground, sobs wracking your body. Somewhere in the distance, you hear your name being called, but you can’t answer, you can’t do this anymore, you can’t – you just can’t…

“Y/N! Y/N!”

You jolt, your eyes flying open. Jay’s over you, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes wide, concerned, his hands holding your shoulders where you realise he’s been shaking you – shaking you because – because –

Fuck.

It was a fucking nightmare. Again.

You let out a cry of pain, bringing your hands up to cover your face. “Breathe, just breathe.” Jay says softly, rubbing your arms up and down.

After about a minute, when you don’t feel so shaken anymore, you wipe your eyes and slowly sit up. Jay shifts with you, sitting right next to you. You can’t look him in the eyes.

“I’m – I’m sorry I woke you,” you whisper to your palms, resting atop your folded legs.

“Don’t – don’t worry about that. Y/N, what happened? It sounded pretty bad…” Jay says and you shake your head.

“I’m fine, it’s fine – ” Your hands run through your hair roughly. You need to go. You need to go – you need to leave – you can’t be here –you can’t be here with him –

“Hey. Hey,” Jay repeats, when you don’t answer. He reaches across and his warm hard gently grabs your face, trying to get you to look at him but you just push his hand away. You get up, grabbing your underwear and jeans from the ground and start getting dressed.

“Y/N!” Jay gets off the bed, and comes to you. You sidestep him, or at least you try to, but he’s much taller than you and his shoulders are broad; he stands in your way and grabs your arms softly.

“Y/N, look at me – ”

“Why?” 

You give him what he wants. You look up at him, you stare him directly in his eyes, shaking in anger and fear and what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

“Hmm? Why? This isn’t – you don’t care – what does it matter –” You yell at him, your mind frazzled as you fall apart in his arms.

The frown on Jay’s face gets deeper, and he shakes his head, leaning close. “Hey, talk to me. C’mon, you can talk to me – ”

“Why the fuck would I talk to you? You’re just some guy I’m sleeping with!” You spit harshly, shaking his hands off and stepping back. Jay’s mouth falls open, and his shoulders sag. His face contorts into something awful - dismay, defeat, hurt.

For a moment, you want to run back into his arms – apologise, say you didn’t mean it, say you’re just scared – but you don’t. You move around him, grabbing your shirt. You put it on and make your way out of his bedroom, and out of his apartment.

You don’t know why you said what you did. Actually, scratch that, you know exactly why you said that. In fact, you know exactly why you’re what you’re doing.

Every relationship you’ve ever had up to this point’s fucked you over. Every single one. You’ve been cheated on, you’ve been lied to, you’ve been told you were just some piece of ass, not an actual girlfriend. And now?

Now you’re scared shitless of what this thing between the two of you is. You’re scared shitless that you’re making a mistake by screwing around with your boss’s brother and you’re –

Well.

You’re scared shitless you’re falling for him.

So, you do what you do best. Dump out of this, push the self-destruct button. Get him to push you away so you don’t have to go through the pain of falling for the guy you can’t have. The one that you know’s going to screw you over, because he’s going to realise he only really sees you as a hookup – that he doesn’t love you.

You try to hold back the tears, because you’re driving home and the last thing you need right now is a car accident. There’s a buzzing sound from your phone and you perk up. As much as you want to tell yourself to not get your hopes high, you can’t help yourself, and you speed down the road to the red light so you can push the brakes and wait. Your fingers wrap around your phone and you immediately check the screen. 

The smile on your face falls – it’s just a stupid notification from Instagram. You toss your phone back onto the passenger seat, hard enough that it bounces off and hits the ground. Tears once again threaten to fill your eyes, and there’s a painful lump in your throat. You swipe at your cheeks, where a single tear has made its escape, and turn to look at the screen next to your steering wheel – it shows the time as 3:45AM. Leaning back against your car seat, a deep sigh exits your lungs.

You realise there’s no way you’re going to sleep again today, what with the whole Jay thing on top of the Walter Holden nightmare that’s been haunting you for the last 6 days now.

The lights turn green.

Swearing under your breath, you throw your car into a U-turn and drive to Med instead.

[gasp-iwrotesomething]

Hey, sorry. I accidentally exited out of the request and it sent before I wanted it to, but can you please do a Dad!Neil Dresner? Where finds out his teenage daughter has a boyfriend? I imagine him to be very protective. Please and thank you. And I love your work.

Sure thing! And thank you for the compliment, I sincerely appreciate it; thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy it, @storiesformc!

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Neil wished he had more time to prepare. 

Time to come to terms, to grieve, to miss the little girl Marina was before she got a... boyfriend. The thought was so surreal. Even the silent monologue in his head pronounced it differently. How could Marina, the little girl who wouldn’t go to bed until you recited her favorite bedtime story up until she was 12, have a boy now? The perception of her as a toddler up to her 13th birthday is so ingrained in his head that now each time he sees her cuddled up with that boy... it’s all he can picture. That prompted Neil to be instantly protective--what kind of father wouldn’t for his baby? His wife, however, was ecstatic. She merely squealed and hugged Marina tight enough to crush her, spouting all of this motherly nonsense about growing up and falling in love. Neil was disappointed in her, frankly. MC was his defense always, even when he was slightly off his rocker. But what did he expect? The grumpy doctor fell head over heels for a rebel barely in her 20′s--who ever said gals like her would understand the feeling Neil felt when he pictured Marina and her boyfriend? 

That’s right, she wouldn’t know a lick of it.

Neil grumbles as he climbs into bed the following night, Marina’s announcement a boulder in his conscience. No matter which way he pushed or which way he pulled, Neil couldn’t rid himself of that burden of a thought. Marina’s got a boyfriend, MC recites brightly in his memory, her rosy cheeks tugged into a boundless smile, you believe it, Neil? Our baby’s growing up! He buries his scowling face into the pillows while her words play over and over, a broken record in his damned head. Life was simpler when he was just raising a babbling toddler who fell over her own two feet; simpler, but not easier. He could still remember the sleepless nights, the stressful mornings, the constant chatter… Beside him, MC joins him in bed and slips under the covers with him, her once-scarlet hair now deduced to loose brunette curls down to her shoulders. He could sense her eyes on him even with the pillow’s barrier and groans into its soft depths; the judgment was already there. “Neil, what’re you doing?” She sounds stern and Neil scoffs quietly. If only silence could be the answer to every problem you’ve got... 

“Nothing,” he mumbles.

MC squints down at him, his muffled words barely reaching. “Take that pillow off your face, I can’t hear you.”

Reluctantly, Neil shifts the pillow aside, the comforting fluff gone and replaced with the dreary pigments of their ceiling--that dull grey was starting to wear away his eyes more than the sun has. He was tired of the color. Maybe a lighter and more vibrant shade would do. “Honey, that frown isn’t saying anything I need to know,” she playfully nudges his arm, a grin spread on her lips, “or am I supposed to take a hint?” He sighs, head turning to his wife. She was a treasure in this bleak room, her effortless charm swamping him totally. Nowadays it was difficult to keep frowning, thanks to MC. Neil didn’t know what to think about that; be grateful or be grouchy. Either or, Neil was glad she was there to talk to--being a single father sounded like hell. “No, I’ll talk about it, just finding the words to not fight with you.”

MC quirks an eyebrow. “A fight? What would I fight with you about?”

“Marina and her new boyfriend,” Neil relents, his eyebrows slowly drawing together as his expression deepens, “I don’t think she should be messing around with no boys at her age.”

The silence that fills the air after he speaks indicates Neil was right; this would brew a disagreement between them.

MC shakes her head. “Marina’s 16, Neil, just 2 years shy of being a woman. It’s about time you give her some freedom, the girl’s got some exploring to do.” She slides under the covers while pinning Neil with a stern stare, the diamonds of her eyes glittering in the dim moonlight. But Neil didn’t pay no mind. Sure, Marina was on her way to be a woman but that road was 2 years long, which left a window open of her still being a kid--of her still being Neil’s little girl. “Maybe, but you heard her, they’ve only known each other for a week. A week! How are you not on your toes when you hear that, MC?” He gives her an incredulous glance. How was he supposed to take that expression? Over time, wrinkles and creases formed on MC’s pale face, so now her frowns always seem deeper and her smiles more animated. He could faintly see the disapproval on her lips, in her eyes, all focused intently on him. He imagined that he appeared the same way to MC. “A week is a good enough time to fall in love; say, we fell in love within the span of a couple months and look where we are now. Who are you to judge when love is love?” She hisses gently, the soothing hiccup of her accent coiling around her sassy tone. Apparently MC was caught up on the part where Marina cried “love!”, but who knows if she’s just blowing their passion for each other out of proportion? Still, even after MC’s rebuke, Neil’s opinion is unchanging. “Our little origin story isn’t comparable to this, MC. Love can form when it has enough time to grow or else it’ll crash and burn. We worked out because we let our love prosper and thrive before diving into each other’s gullets,” he remarks, gruff and headstrong, about as willing to back down as MC was. 

“Defining what you think is ‘true love’ isn’t going to help you win this. Everything’s different for everyone.”

“No, maybe not, but if it keeps Marina safe then I’ll be cracking open my damn dictionary.”

MC scoffs, pinching him quickly, “who said you couldn’t watch her back? You’re her daddy, Neil, you can look out for her while letting her live a little!”

No one speaks after her brief exclamation, the tension drawn tighter by the evident frustration the both of them faced. They never argued like this. Usually they’d disagree, talk, and smooth over the wrinkles, but now… Now they were determined to rough up their resolve before they even tried to be civil. After a couple seconds more of deep, stabilizing breaths, MC relents with a quiet sigh and cuddles up to Neil, her features now softened into a concerned furrow of her brows. She braces her hand on Neil’s chest, her fingers warm and tender to his flesh. “Listen, honey, I know how you feel--believe me, I do--but you’ve got to be more realistic. Whether you accept it or not, Marina’s getting older and closer to being on her own, she’s got to learn to think for herself. She’s a smart cookie. She’ll make for a fine independent woman, thanks to you. But now, I think you should give her a shot; see how this ship rocks with her new fella, you know?” MC pats his chest, a small assuring smile on her face. Neil mulls over her words. Maybe she was right in a way; maybe… maybe he was being a little too overbearing at times with Marina. But you couldn’t hold that against him, he loved his daughter. She was his world from the first breath down to these very seconds. Nothing’s changed except that she’s older, maturing, expanding into new walks of life that wouldn’t have suited her then. Marina was still his bundle of joy and he was still her caring, grouchy, sarcastic dad. 

Even if it meant handing her away to some boy, Neil had to be supportive and at least mindful of her wishes, her desires.

Sighing, Neil winds an arm around his wife’s shoulders and brings her closer to him, close enough to smell the serene aroma of her berry-scented shampoo. She relaxes into him, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “...I’ll think about it, MC,” he could feel her cheek move as she smiles softly against him, “but it’s going to take some time for me to… adjust to this whole ‘growing up’ thing.” It was true. Daily, Neil would see Marina at the dining room table and wonder just when in that 16 year gap she grew taller, prettier. Marina wasn’t very tall but she reached Neil’s collarbone standing beside him. She was a brunette--go figure--with most of her prize-winning features taken directly from her father, Neil. Maybe that was why he was so protective and nurturing to her, they were so alike side from her mother’s energetic personality; well, that and she’s their only child. 

He always had a feeling that she’d grow up to be beautiful, and seeing that unfold now, Neil was right in every facet imaginable.

“Thank you,” MC murmurs under the blanket of the shimmering moonlight, “I can tell this isn’t easy for you but I’m proud of you for trying.” He rubs her arm soothingly, allowing the tension to dissipate and fall into the background as he kisses her head. “I’m not exactly volunteering to do this but… I appreciate the sentiment, Mrs. Dresner.”

That claps the silence between them right where it stands, the both of them dissolving into a brief fit of laughter. Even if it would probably take the soul right out of him, Neil was willing to try--for his daughter and his wife.

He just hoped no no-good meathead would have to ruin this bliss for any of them, or else the doctor might have to shed his nurturing duty for a little bit.

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Thank you again and I’m sorry for the wait!

If you want to request something, here’s the Prompt List, here are the Guidelines, here’s Who I Write For, and here is where you can Request me.

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

Off Days (13th Doctor x reader)

author’s note:

yes this is a romantic fic, no i can’t write a romantic fic for a character i don’t like, sorry, it would turn out really weirdly, for now i’ll just do romantic stuff randomly and from my own brain. this was an unplanned fic (also anon i’m working on the thing you requested i haven’t forgotten you i promise i hope you’re having a good day) because i had a Bad Day with the disease that i straight up forgot i have and stayed in bed until like 6pm after waking up and walking around a bit because i really just Couldn’t function well at all. yes i’m going to write more romance fics about 13 i’m gay and every attraction to any gender is gay for me since gender isn’t working in my brain. the reason i wrote this is Bad Day and i always see sick!reader ones with like the flu or a cough or something temporary but never anything with something permanent (which i have) which can massively fuck with being able to do things on certain days for absolutely no discernible reason or because of triggers thag you need to look closely after

no trigger warnings

word count: 1 190 or so words, pretty short

here you go:

You woke up lying beside the Doctor. The clock standing on the cabinet on her side of the bed indicated it was somewhere around 10 in the morning - you didn’t look at it long enough to process the last two numbers.

You could feel her soft, slow breath against your head as she slept next to you, as the weighted blanket pressed gently against both of your bodies.

Despite having slept soundly for 10 hours, which was more than you usually got when sleeping, you felt exhausted, heavy, and in a certain amount of discomfort. You shivered, moving closer to the Doctor, trying to obtain some body heat from her despite the fact that you were both already in warm pyjamas.

“Good morning, my love”, the Doctor said, sleep still in her voice, stroking your cheek. “I know you were rather tired last night. Sudden fatigue, eh? You feeling any better?”

You smiled weakly at her. “Good morning”, you whispered back. “Somehow, I’m even more tired.”

“We’ll stay in bed for a while if that’ll help, Y/N.” Upon saying that, she kissed your forehead and brushed her fingers against your arm.

“I’m, uh... I’m not entirely sure it will help. I know it won’t hurt to stay in bed, but I... I might need to stay all day instead of just a few more hours.”

“Alright, we can do that. We don’t have to do things every day, love, and that’s more than okay with me, provided it makes you feel better.” She smiled.

“It’s nothing to worry about”, you said, picking up on the concern in her voice. “I just.. I haven’t told you about something, because I’ve been doing better lately, and I actually just forgot about it happening.” You brought your legs closer to your chest, still lying down on your side, still looking at the Doctor. Not directly into her eyes, since you rarely ever did that, but at her nonetheless.

“Yeah?” She gently prompted you to continue speaking.

“I... have a health condition. It isn’t harmful, really, just inconvenient. Fatigue is one of the symptoms, weakness can be another, there’s some other ones too. Like loss of appetite. And I’m not feeling great right now. I wanted to do stuff today, but I’m really not feeling like I could walk or even stand for more than a few minutes at a time without collapsing.”

“I’m sorry, love. I wish it was easier for you. I love you, and you can talk to me about anything anytime, alright? We’ll stay in bed for today. Would you want your favourite soup later on? The TARDIS and I could cook it up for you, I’ll bring it here, we could have lunch in bed? That way we’ll make sure you have some food, even though your lack of appetite might be happening.”

*I really can hear the smile in your voice*, you thought. And you could. You’d been together for a few months now, she knew your favourite soup, other foods, colours, fabrics, words, sounds, smells, and so much more. You knew hers. There was still a lot you didn’t know about each other, but there was time. Especially with your lack of time perception and her being... well... her. There was time, and for once you found comfort in that. You loved her so much, and you took care of her on her off days, accepting that sometimes she won’t feel ready to speak of certain things until a time later. She took care of you on yours, though sometimes she didn’t know what caused them.

You went on dates as often as the two of you wanted and could, taking into account how both of you felt. It was perfect, and you loved it so much - the soft mornings, waking up together in one bed, wrapped in one blanket (or several blankets stacked on top of the one you shared, for extra warmth), lying closely together, the days spent with her, saving the universe, saving a planet, helping someone, anyone, looking out for each other, the evenings spent together watching a movie, one of you inevitably dozing off closer towards the end of the movies, their head gently lying on the other one’s shoulder, or in the other’s lap.

The softness of her voice occasionally lulling you to sleep. You humming right as she woke up in the middle of the night, if you were still awake, to get her back to sleep, because you knew she didn’t get nearly enough sleep on most nights, though the weighted blanked you’d gotten for the both of you greatly helped. This was someone you could imagine spending the rest of your life with. The fact that your life never really had to end either brought her comfort, because unless something drastic happened, she wouldn’t lose you like she had others. She still refused to talk about many of them, but slowly, she was opening up to you about it. And you knew all would come in its due time. She did, however, also know, that you were susceptible to most human conditions, and that they could affect you strongly at some times.

“I love you, Doctor. I’d really like some soup later. I love you and everything about you, and I’m really tired, but you’re just... you are the world to me, my love”, you rambled. “I can hear you smiling even when I’m not looking at you. I love you and also I’m tired. I think I’ll sleep for a bit more. Is that okay?”

“Of course, love”, she replied, letting you hear her smile again as you closed your eyes and did the same. “One thing before you doze off, though: what’s the name of that health condition you have?”

“It’s [name]. Why?” You barely let your eyes open, wondering why she’d asked.

“I want to see how I can help you better, so I’ll do a bit of research on it. You get some rest, love. Get some rest, and we’ll have some soup soon. I’ll take care of your chores later, too, so don’t worry about it. It’s alright if you only feel better in a few days. I’m staying right here next to you, I always will.”

“You’re as sweet and comforting as honey tea on a chilly autumn night”, you gently took her hand - the one that was still caressing your cheek - into yours, and kissed it. She knew that autumn was your favourite season, too.

“As are you”, she smiled, “rest, my love.”

You fell asleep nearly instantly, as the Doctor scrolled through the mobile phone you’d purchased for her, looking through how your health condition affected you, looking for ways she could better help you not only on your off days, but also to make you generally feel better using the food you’d eat and other things. And of course, when you felt better, she would ask you what you’d prefer and how she can help.

Soon after, she fell asleep too, her arm lying on your waist and her forehead resting closely to yours.

[ambientstars]

Can we please get the one with fire posted first? I’m curious! 🤔

A dance between fire and love (13th Doctor x reader)

Warnings: character death (and I guess fire? If that’s not obvious)

Note: I can only apologise for this. My heart hurts too and I’m gonna go sit in the corner now and think about what I’ve done.  -    -    -

Today was the day. The end of the world. It had been a long time coming, inevitable.

The Master had finally done it, beat his own record of truly horrific acts. He knew just how precious Earth was to The Doctor, so in his spite, he set the entire planet on fire and stole the TARDIS so that you, The Doctor or anyone else couldn’t escape from the now burning rock.

You and The Doctor took shelter in your home, more specifically your bedroom, the fire coming into view just over the hill. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

The surrounding fields adorned by tall, proud sunflowers were engulfed in flames. The once green grass turned to soot on the burnt ground. The fire travelled quickly, making a path to the cabin. Who knew how long you had left? Neither of you wanted to take a guess.

The Doctor moved across the room towards your record player and silently looked through your collection, using her fingers to quickly and carefully move the sleeves along in search of the perfect song.

Despite your lack of time before the fire caught up to you, she took her time. She remained calm, composed, something that gave you a slight bit of comfort in your pounding chest.

“Dance with me.” She reached out her hand once she had chosen a record, her smile soft and the music light.

You knew that inside, she was scared. Scared for the destruction, the pain, the loss of her favourite planet, but most of all, scared of losing you.

It went without saying that although she’d most likely suffer some damage to her body, either externally from the flames or internally from the smoke, she would regenerate and go on living.

She’d be scared and alone on a planet turned to soot with no way out. No hand to hold or shoulder to cry on, no one to talk to or grieve with.

Sure, she could walk the world in search of parts to slowly build another machine, but even that wasn’t guaranteed to work and where would she go after that? Her home had been turned to rubble, just like this one was becoming, and her reliable ship had probably been dismantled by force by now, the poor thing.

After countless years and multiple attempts, The Master had finally succeeded in bringing her the worst torture she couldn’t even bring herself to dream of.

You took the offered hand and allowed her to pull you close, your bodies flush against each other. Her arms encircled you, holding you tighter than she probably meant to and so you held back with the same vigor.

The hot air gently whirl-winded around you as you danced in slow circles. Heads on shoulders, chests together, fingers entangled. Your feet effortlessly moved in perfect rhythm, never missing a beat.

You both had your eyes closed, but you could see as clear as day. The Doctor projected images into your head and you saw the precious memories, the countless laughs and every opportunity you had snapped up to be with each other, dropping everything to have each other close.

It was bittersweet, reliving the memories and enjoying the feeling they brought you, but also knowing that you’d never get the chance to make more.

Your adventures had been incredible. You’d seen the world from outer space, met species unknown to mankind and watched the stars die and fade, only for a new one to be birthed in its place to shine for an unfathomable amount of years.

The melody of the song began to fade against the crackling and the roaring of the wall of flames, now just outside the window.

You squeezed your eyes even tighter shut, willing your ears to focus on the words, mumbling along to keep the concentration.

The Doctor had played this song on board the Tardis before and just like now, she had asked you to dance. As uncoordinated as she was, when she let her body move freely, she moved with a smoothness that could only come from a soul completely fuelled by happiness.

You had danced with her for hours, staying close and moving slow. It was intimate and full of love, skin innocently on skin and smiles pressed into each other’s shoulders. You would miss that day the most, the day you really connected with The Doctor on a deeper level.

The glass of the window nearest to you shattered into small pieces, the wooden frame allowing the fire to enter your safe haven.

Both of you flinched at the ear splitting sound, but didn’t dare let go or lift your heads.

Hands gripped sides tighter, breathing became quicker and sweat began to bead on goosebump adorned skin.

The smell of burning overcame your nose, the polished wood of the cabin walls, the soft fabric of bed sheets and the chemical bubbling of plastic - all of it burning into cinders.

“Doc,” you whispered, not daring to bring your voice up to the volume of the destruction around you. “I love you.”

Salty tears stung The Doctor’s eyes as they welled up. Her throat tightened, the pain hardly noticeable over the ache in her heart. “I love you, more.”

You had spent many years joking around about where you would end up when you died, always hinting that you would be spending the rest of your afterlife with the big man downstairs, but here in this moment you were truly scared that it would come true.

The Doctor was pure, full of light and the only goodness you had known in this world of pain and ugliness, she was definitely going somewhere meant for angels, but would you be joining her? You silently prayed that you would.

“Was I a good enough person to get into heaven?”

Your movements slowed, the dance confined to a small corner that the fire hadn’t reached yet. Smoke was filling the air, the oxygen travelling to and from your lungs grew thick, irritating the soft flesh of your insides.

You knew that The Doctor didn’t believe in all that. She had travelled across the universe right until the end, she had gone in every direction possible and she made it very clear that all there is after life is darkness and sleep, no heaven or hell. Only stars and space, and the souls of passed ones between them.

“You know I-“

“I need to know.” Coughs forced their way up your throat, the metallic taste of blood tinged your tongue as the delicate lining of your oesophagus tore from the pressure. “Please.”

The Doctor could feel herself becoming light-headed, her concentration on the song, that had changed to something slower, slipping more and more with every second.

“Yes, of course!” She wanted to elaborate, describe all of your incredible qualities, let you know that wherever you went, she would go too - but her words failed her, her mind swimming in a smoky haze.

You decided not to argue, you didn’t want your last moments with your best friend to be used up disagreeing.

Your feet began to trip over each other, legs weakening, the dance uncoordinated, barely one step at a time. You both knew this moment was coming and accepted your fate, but neither of you were prepared for just how gut wrenching the feeling of slowly falling apart in each other’s arms would be.

You were the first to fall, your weak knees giving out. You hit the ground with a thud, your protective reflexes unable to do their job with the lack of clean oxygen in your system.

The Doctor quickly followed, bracing herself on her hands just in time to not hit her head on the floorboards. Even the body of a timelord couldn’t withstand the blaze of annihilation.

Her eyes snapped open in reaction, but her vision remained black as the room was completely full of thick, dark smoke, and in her surprise she inhaled the poison deeply, her lungs rejecting it with violent coughs.

Your hand blindly grabbed hers and she held on tight. Deciding she’d be more comfortable lying on the floor where she wouldn’t have to use up all her energy just to keep herself steady, she laid down next to you, the person she loved so dearly, your shaking hands keeping contact.

You couldn’t hear the music now, not over the roaring of flames and the cracking and crumbling of wood. You wondered briefly what The Doctor’s favourite song was and if you’d even be able to understand it.

The roof fell in on itself in the corner of the room opposite you, the force shooting settled dust and soot back up into the air. You watched absentmindedly as it floated back down again, feeling some fall onto your face and knowing that you were breathing it all in with every shallow breath.

“Look at me.”

You used all your strength in your rapidly weakening body to turn your head and look at The Doctor. Her face was almost unrecognisable with it covered in smoke residue and ash, her hair frizzy from the humidity of the atmosphere.

Under her eyes were wet spots and you knew that she had been trying her best to hold back tears, but a few had slipped past. The crease between her brows was deep with concern, but she smiled reassuringly anyway, her teeth sparkling white in contrast to the rest of her face.

“You’re gonna be okay.”

“You’re a bad liar.” You laughed a little, but it only encouraged a cough to tear at your chest, followed by another and another.

The Doctor patted your back to assist as if it would help, but you appreciated the gesture and it was nice to have her hand on your back again.

She moved hair away from your eyes, her thumb stroking your cheek ever so gently. “I’m sorry.”

Your head pounded and your insides burned, your body becoming useless and the taste of metal sat heavily on your tongue.

“Not your fault.”

She shook her head, rejecting the statement like it was a lie. “If I had just fought harder against him. If I had just kept you safer. If I-“

“Doctor,” now it was your turn to comfort her. “You couldn’t have done anything more.”

Again she shook her head, but this time remained quiet, her bottom lip between her teeth.

Your vision was starting to blur at the edges. “What will you do next?”

As she began talking, your hearing gave out. Your eyes fell completely closed and you couldn’t move your muscles. You wondered if you were even still breathing.

Already you missed her voice, her northern accent and the hundred words per minute. It would always bring you comfort in your hardest moments and right now was definitely one of them.

It was quiet now, peaceful. The darkness had taken you in, holding you close in a thorough hug that relaxed your soul and allowed you to fall limp against it.

You were calm at last and blissfully content. You felt as light as a feather and your thoughts were finally clear and free from pain.

It felt just like those last few seconds before falling asleep in bed. All cosy and warm, quiet and numb, your mind winding down into unconsciousness.

The last thing you remembered thinking about was The Doctor. How she had saved you from a life of evil and shown you the wonders of the universe, and that you could live a wholesome and fulfilling life just like you had dreamed of.

You hoped that whatever may come to her now, it was good. If you could feel in this moment, you knew that there would be a pain in your heart at the thought of her continuing to suffer and cry all alone, she was the last person who deserved that.

She didn’t believe in angels, said they were a fairytale, but you made the decision in your final moments before nothingness, that you would be her guardian and protect her for as long as she was still breathing. And even after then.

[riversofmars]

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Everyone looked at the Doctor for a moment, until the three younger Doctors started laughing. Her face fell.

“Stop it! I’m the Doctor, just as much as you, I remember being you!“ She jabbed her finger at them accusingly.

“Yeah right!“ Sandshoes laughed.

“So I’m going to regenerate into you?“ Eyebrows shook his head in amusement. They reaction infuriated her, she wanted to stamp her foot but didn’t think it would work in her favour. She looked to River, hoping the penny had at least dropped with her. Surely, she would have felt the same attraction that she did. Surely, she would know it was true. However, the look in River’s eyes was one of bitterness and disappointment.

“She can’t be.“ River said, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Why not?“ Amy asked, almost inclined to believe the Doctor.

“Think about this. I have met all your previous regenerations, you are the thirteenth, right?“ River turned to Eyebrows who she knew to be the oldest among them.

“Well technically…“ He admitted.

“We scanned for people with two hearts right? Assuming that they’re all versions of you, that makes thirteen of you and me… makes fourteen.“ River deduced, turning back to the Doctor who stared at her in shock. “If there is another Doctor - and I would love to think there is - they’re not here.“

“But…“ The Doctor wanted to protest. She couldn’t deny her logic but there had to be a mistake. Yes, there were thirteen regenerations before her that she remembered, at least. She knew now that there was many more, whose memories had been taken from her. With so many versions of her, there was no way of knowing which regenerations were here. There was no reason to just limit it to the ones she remembered. But obviously the others didn’t know that yet and for them, the numbers added up perfectly in this way…

“She is the Doctor.“ Yaz interrupted unable to believe that they refused to accept that.

“Of course you would say that.“ Donna retorted. “You’re her accomplices.“

“How else would she know about the TARDIS?“ Ryan also came to her aid, not understanding why they distrusted her.

“Because she’s involved in what’s going on?“ Eyebrows answered, getting more suspicious by the second.

“Tell them, Doc, tell them what you know about them.“ Graham interjected.  

“No-one is saying that all the other timelords here have to be all our previous selves, are they?“ The Doctor tried to reason with them. She realised there wasn't anything she could reveal about her knowledge without making herself look more suspicious so she had to find another way of explaining the fourteen Timelords. “What if…“

“If you’re a future Doctor, maybe you can tell me how I escaped from the Library then?“ River shot back, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I can’t… I don’t know, it hasn’t happened yet.“ The Doctor couldn’t give her an answer.

“Isn’t that just convenient.“ River huffed, feeling incredibly betrayed for having let her get to her earlier. Half of her really wanted to believe her, particularly considering the strong attraction she felt towards her, but the other half insisted that it just couldn’t be true, that it didn’t make sense. She did, however, see the deep hurt in the other woman’s eyes, which, again, made her doubt. What is she was the Doctor? Was the why she felt this incredible pull towards her. Her hearts and mind were pulling her in opposite directions.

“Well, have a scan then!“ The Doctor bit back angrily spreading her arms out. She couldn’t explain the pain she was feeling at River’s words. That she would actively seek to discredit her… Surely, she should know and recognise her. She was her wife after all. This turn of events hurt so much more than any of the ways she had imagined this conversation would go.

Suddenly the soft melody of “Silent Night“ that had been playing in the distance, changed to a loud mesmerising version of “Merry Christmas Everyone“. It was loud, intrusive and incredibly catchy… and somehow, it was taking over their senses.

The Doctor blinked, wondering what she had just been saying. She dropped her arms to her sides, looking around in confusion. The same confusion on the faces she saw around herself quickly turned to something more infectious: Joy! They started laughing, jigging to the music.

“This is literally my favourite Christmas song!“ Amy exclaimed.

Suddenly, a snowball collided with the back of the Doctor’s head and she yelped in surprise. She whipped around.

“Watch your back, Doc.“ Ryan grinned, already forming another snowball.

“No you don’t!“ She ducked another snowball that came flying her way.

[confusedhalfofthetime]

Hi! Can I request a fic that includes 4 & 26 from Random? Thanks in advance!

Hello dear! Here is your request. Let me know what you think! 

Pairing: 13th Doctor x Reader

Warnings: none. Fluff to make you throw up rainbows, I guess

You were running from a monster. Again. Third time in a week. 

Travelling with the Doctor implied all sort of situations and a lot of danger but you had come to accept it. In fact, you kinda loved the thrill of it. But you would have been fine with a quiet, nice, peaceful day somewhere that didn't involve huge, hairy creature with a certain taste for humans. Especially today. 

Why today, you may ask. Well, the last time you had seen the Doctor, she was down on one knee with a ring in her hand and a nervous smile on her lips.

-What are you doing? - you had asked, feeling like you could faint right there and then.

-I am...proposing - she replied.

-Yaz told me that's how to do it. Plus, I've seen many human proposals and weddings. And a few funerals, but that's beside the point-

You had kept your wide eyes on her, unable to even blink.

-Y/N- she had started. -You have been with me for a very long time, through thick and thin. More thick than thin. You have helped me, supported me, loved me, you have cooked for me and taught me when to add sugar and when to add salt. Still a bit confused about that one, they're very similar- 

You had laughed, keeping your hands over your mouth and trying not to cry.

-What I'm trying to say is that you have done so many things for me and you keep surprising me. So now, I want to do something to surprise you, something I know you've always wanted. I don't know a lot about weddings but I know that they unite people and they're made to celebrate love. And there's usually a lot of cake. No, scratch that, I actually know a lot about weddings- she had smiled proudly and you had dried a few tears that had escaped your control.

-Anyway, since I love you a lot, and we both love cake, I thought that getting married would be a great idea. So, Y/N...will you marry me? -

You had been totally speechless, although you knew the answer to her question.

She had shifted uneasily. 

-Have I done something wrong? Or did I say something wrong? - she had looked alarmed and your heart had swelled in your chest.

-I knew I should have prepared a better speech. I'm usually good with speeches! -

-Doctor- you had called her and she had looked up at you.

You had kneeled in front of her and cupped her face before kissing her soft lips. 

-Your speech was perfect- you had chuckled. 

-So your answer is...? -

-Yes, of course! -

And that was the best day of your life so far.

Fast forward a couple of days later, she thought it might be fun to visit an alien jungle and almost get murdered.

-Y/N hurry! - she shouted back at you, a few feet away.

-I swear Doctor...if I die, I'm haunting you first- you breathed heavily trying to keep up. She took your hand and helped you reach for a dark cave. The entrance was tight enough to make it impossible for the creatures to enter but you managed easily. 

-Wow, that was close- said the Doctor looking at the claws of the monster that clearly wasn't happy to have missed his lunch.

-Nice, now we're locked up in here-

-We just have to wait until he gets bored and he'll leave us alone-

That sounded impossible judging by the noises that creature was making.

You ran your hands through your hair.

-This is a great engagement gift-

The Doctor smiled softly at you.

-What? -

-Nothing, nothing...just...we're engaged- she said trying to contain her glee.

You couldn't help but smile too.

-Yes, we are. And I'd like to be alive to attend our wedding- you said sitting on the cold floor with your back against the rock wall. The Doctor joined you.

-Were you surprised when I asked you? -

-Of course! I couldn't believe my eyes- you replyed. -I didn't think marriage was...your thing-

-It is my thing if it's your thing- 

You chuckled. -Did Yaz help you? -

-Yeah, she gave me some advice regarding the speech-

-And the ring? -

The Doctor's smile faded, replaced by an embarrassed expression. 

-What? - you asked, slightly concerned.

-Nothing-

-Doctor-

-Really, it's nothing, doesn't matter-

-Doctor-

She looked at you with an uncomfortable gaze.

-What's wrong with the ring? - you repeated.

The Doctor took a deep breath. -Okay look, Yaz was talking about how big of a responsibility marriage is and then Graham said that weddings are expensive and I said that wouldn't be a problem and then Ryan asked me if I had bought you a ring already and I had no idea I had to give you a ring! I mean, why a ring and not a necklace? Or earrings? Or a stone with the face of a puppy painted on it? You like puppies, after all...- she trailed off, as usual, and you rolled your eyes.

-Doctor, focus-

-Sorry sorry- she said. -What I'm trying to say is...the diamond in your engagement ring is fake- she said so quickly you hardly understood a word.

You looked at her with a confused expression.

-I understand if you don't wanna marry me anymore...- said the Doctor looking down at her shoes.

At that, you started laughing. It took you a few minutes to calm down, especially when you saw the face the Doctor was making. She was so lost. She was so adorable.

-What's so funny? -

-Why wouldn't I wanna marry you? -

The Doctor was taking this way more seriously than you.

-Because it's a human tradition! - she exclaimed moving her hands nervously. -I was supposed to get on one knee, show you a nice ring, make a speech about how much I love you, ask you the question and then give you the ring- she said counting on her fingers.

-Doctor, you did give me a nice ring. You gave me an amazing ring! - you said taking her hands.

-It's beautiful and you're beautiful. Besides, since when do we follow the rules? -

The anxiety on the Doctor's face seemed to diminuish.

-So we're still getting married? -

-We're going to have the best wedding in the galaxy-

She smiled and gave you a soft, loving kiss.

-I love the sound of that-

-And I love you-

-I love you too. Now let's get out of here-

[eurusholmmes]

Abandonment Issues | 13th

It's just the two of you, long after the rest have gone. A girl and her box off to see the Universe.

Take a moment and think about this with me. If you google the specific definition of the term abandonment, it often refers back to this: a subjective emotional state in which people feel undesired, left behind, insecure, or discarded. Key word here - left behind. You had known for quite a while about your issue with relationships and why you never seemed to be able to trust people, but you had never chalked it up to having acquired abandonment issues.

And you had never seen it as severe as it was with The Doctor.

You're standing in the doorway of the TARDIS when she finally brings it up -- the inevitable farewell to temporary companions -- as you have now arrived in Sheffield with the intention of sending Yaz, Ryan and Graham home. They'd had their adventures and wished to continue on with their normal lives while this lonely heart traveled the Universe and witnessed its infinite wonders from within the confines of a blue box.

The only true companion she'd ever had.

Your heart ached for The Doctor simply because you understood. You'd been abandoned, stabbed and cast aside by more people then you could count in your lifetime - excluding your family, who had been the only ones there for you during your adolescence and well into your early adult years. It was only after your parents had passed away that The Doctor had crossed your path, and you'd been with her ever since.

"There's no reason for you to stay here. I'm not a hero.. I'm not this person everyone makes me out to be."

“You're not just any old hero," You whispered, winding your arms around her torso as she sank into the warmth of your embrace. "You are the most magnificent being this Universe has ever seen. Your hearts outweigh the compassion of all humanity combined... and you never say no to people. That's why you're a hero, Doctor. It's because you care."

She had lost far too many people. Had been forced to watch, helpless to act as companions were ripped from her grasps. Two thousand years of losing everyone that ever mattered to you... You had no idea as to how she was still alive.

"Well, I s'pose this is it." Her thick Northern accent pulled you out of your trance, and you pull your lip between your teeth in anxious anticipation. She seemed oblivious to your presence just inside the TARDIS and instead kept her focus on the three companions before her. You couldn't hear Ryan and Yaz's responses, but the desperate attempt in veiling the pain in her expression was all the evidence you needed. "Got you back, guess we're done. Nice having you aboard."

"Thanks Doc."

You faintly recognized Yaz's voice as you now stood in the doorway, fingers nervously flexing as you slowly extended your hand to wrap it through her own. The Doctor softened when she caught sight of you, inching herself closer to the TARDIS to accept the gesture - something you had noticed over the past year or so calmed her significantly. Touch was the only way you'd gotten through to Twelve.

"Oh, y'know. Back in the box. There's loads to see."

"On your own?"

The Doctor opened her mouth, prepared to say yes, until she remembered you standing only a few feet away. You had never run, even when she'd given you every reason to do so. You smiled and laughed and brought so much joy to her life -- something she found was so entirely human -- and part of her wondered if you were finally ready to leave her now. Let her disappear within this ancient, blue box, never to be remembered by the people of Earth.

"I s'pose."

Tenderly running the pad of your thumb over her knuckles, the soft whisper of a familiar melody echoes in The Doctors mind - another trick she'd taught you about many months ago. The lyrics echo in her head like the words of a prayer, easing her panic into peace as they resonate deep within her.

You are not alone, I've been here the whole time singing you a song

I will carry you

"You wanna come for tea at mine?"

The Doctor wrenches you out of the TARDIS before you can argue, arm loosely wrapped through your own as her entire face lights up at the invitation. "Definitely! I love tea. Tea at Yaz's, amazing." You follow hot on the heels of the three people before you, abnormally quiet as you pondered how to approach the topic. You can hear her laughter and see that ethereal smile in your peripheral vision, but everything around you seems to be white noise.

It's The Doctor squeezing your hand that draws your attention back to her. "Y/N, are you alright? You've gone quiet on me. That's never a good sign."

Was it wise to bring it up? To very bluntly remark that this ancient Timelord that was constantly attached to your hip, no matter where you went, that she had the same issues you did? That you feared relationships and thus distanced yourself from people so you wouldn't be able to be hurt anymore? How wounded you were that she actually believed you'd leave her, after all this time?

"I've always wondered why I was so drawn to you." The Doctors neck cranes to hear your voice, her focus now entirely on you as you pull her closer to your side, arms still intertwined with one another. "At first I thought it was because you offered me the Universe. Who can refuse an offer like that? To see what so many are deprived of, an infinite Universe with so much more in store then we can comprehend. And the longer I've been with you, the more I've realized it's because I'm utterly terrified at the thought of leaving you."

Her breathing stutters in her chest, and The Doctor calls out to Ryan that you two will catch up just before you stop in the middle of the courtyard. "Y/N-"

You are unable to halt the impending confession and choose to continue, gently cradling her hands in your own. "Then it occurred to me. Why does this ancient time traveller, who could have her pick of the mill when it comes to human companions, put up with this human? Why me? What is so special about me?"

"Everything!"

"And while I believe you," The Doctor exhaled slowly as she saw your lips begin to quiver, the words you were unable to say faltering on your tongue. "Just now, I saw the pain in your face. The grief and the heartbreak and the dread of being left alone again. After Clara, after Bill- You've been abandoned and lost your companions so many times that the thought of being alone terrifies you." Her head falls to her chest in that moment of realization, bright eyes dimmed by the weight that sat upon her shoulders, unable to meet your own as her grip slackened. "Did you really think I was gonna leave you?"

Bang. Like a bullet to her hearts. Such a simple question but one that carried so much desperation.

"I don't want you to leave me." Her reply is sincere, without hesitation. "You're right. I've lost too many people, seen so many die, and I'm exhausted. It's a constant fear, this is. The fear of making relationships, of being vulnerable. After two thousand years of living, I have never had the luxury of outrage, much less vulnerability. But you," Your eyes soften as her lips quirk upward in the hint of a smile, a sight you've come to love in the time you've known The Doctor. "You make this all worth while. The memory, the laughter, the joy you've brought into my life... That's not something a sentimental fool like myself can repay."

The longer you thought about it, the more it made sense. Those people who had left your life would always be a part of you, but there came a time and season for everyone. And currently? Your season was at the side of this lonely Time Lord and her brilliant, shining companions.

"Well, after all the people who've left me... I was given a great gift when you came across my path. Now give me a hug, woman." You demanded. "That's the best gift you can give."

You weren't prepared for the caliber of her hug, nearly knocked off your feet as she threw herself into your arms. She was much shorter this time around, able to wrap her legs around your waist as the two of you stumbled about the courtyard. Quivering fingers wound their way to the base of your neck as you buried your face in her shoulder, inhaling the very scent of time that lingered on her skin.

"Don't go." Her lips breathed right in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "Please."

You feverishly shook your head as you sat her back on the ground and lightly tapped your nose with the end of your finger.

"Never."

[ikagrp]

Welcome, Kili! You’ve been accepted as your first choice of Lili Reinhart as Riley Eastwood. Please send in your account within the next 24 hours.

Also, please follow these tags: ikag starter, Ikag social, ikaghh, ikag important, ikag task, ikagfollow, ikagunfollow and   ikag event

NAME / PRONOUNS | AGE | TIMEZONE

Kili/ she/her / 26 / Eastern

YOUR ACTIVITY:

I have a full time job, and a typical life mixed in with indie roleplay. If I were to give you a range possibly a 6 or 7 out of the number system.

ROLEPLAYING EXPERIENCE

I’ve been roleplaying since I was nine years old. Zoinks.

WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE SHOW?

FACECLAIM: Lili Reinhart

Secondary choice: (Just in case) n/a

NAME: Riley Ember Eastwood. 

AGE: 23

BIRTHDAY: May 13th 1995

19OCCUPATION: (union) production assistant ( PA )

HOMETOWN: Savannah, Georgia. 

PETS: Ragdoll cat named Margot & golden pompapoo poddle named Otis. 

BIOGRAPHY:

   Riley Eastwood, 23, was born in Savannah Georgia to Isaac and Ruby Eastwood. She is the only child. That being said, she was raised with coddled arms of her mother securely around her. Her mother was always leaning over boundaries with drastic concern. Riley had a bee sting in the second grade leaving only a small puffy mount on her hand, and her mother treated it as if she was in a life or death situation. Ruby was a cookie-cutter house wife who made sure her daughter was as much involved in school and community activities as she was. In Riley’s spry, and innocent youth, she found her mother to be her best friend, but once she hit the years of being a teenager… the woman made her want to scream. That was when she found the simplicity of lying with a believable smile to her parents just before slipping out her window against any approval. Her father, Isaac, an Air-traffic controller died down his wife’s career in real-estate for her to fulfill her needs of keeping close to their daughter, and having the home well prepared for him at the end of his busy days. Her mother began to despise the slow control Isaac was having over her, having stripped her from her occupation and individualism. He kept her tidy to making their family look straight out of a happy-go-lucky magazine with hosting events. It all lead Ruby to an affair. To this day the affair continues, and Riley is the only one who knows of her mother’s adultery–but she can’t say she blames her mother. Her family just was a different image behind the curtains of the typical show they put on.

  Entering years of personal development, Riley never found herself attracted to boys. Her mother was always trying to set her up with the most popular and political name in town. “You need to be with someone sophisticated who will end up being a doctor.. Or a lawyer. Don’t waste your time with that boy who works at the cinema.” –Little did her mother know that Riley wasn’t interested in boys at all. However, she had dated ‘that boy from the cinema,’ and Colton had been the only boy Riley had ever loved. Often she wondered if she ever truly loved him on a partnering level, or because he had opened her life up to the world of film. Colton actually listened to what Riley had to say. He wasn’t like her mother who just tried to push whatever interests and opinions she had onto her, or like her friends from school who were just as fake as any suburban cliche.  The first time Riley had spoken to Colton, (their first day working together at the local cinema,) Colton had asked her what made her happy. It left the girl shell-shocked.. No one had ever asked her such a question, nor had anyone actually been interested in what she actually liked. She hadn’t known anything apart from the towns standards, or her mothers.

   It was her first job working with Colton that set her passion free. She was obsessed with film and the entire production that went into creating such a piece of art. (–and she loved the way Colton bled vulnerability into picking it all apart.) The two had dated for a couple of years, and their relationship continued to soar until the boy had decided to go to school in California. It left Riley heartbroken that their relationship would have separation across the country, and she was confused. Yet determined as always, she allowed life to lead her to finding a new path for herself. Riley moved to New York and attended school there. Her mind was set on production, and editing. Often she interned for plays and musicals to assist stage managers. It was a learning experience of fast pace organization and a growth for some thicker skin– but entirely, it had been the only direction Riley had flowed along with that made her happy.

  During one of her chapters on an internship, Riley had found herself tugging to feelings that she hadn’t quite experienced before- an attraction to women. There was one girl in particular that had wrapped her effortlessly around her finger. The girls focus had been slipping with the whirlwind of attraction she had for this girl, and it brought something heavier in her chest that she hadn’t ever felt with Colton. It brought her a realization that she had always had this void with boys. Her and Colton’s communication was dwindling, and Riley was feeling them drift apart. There was a chiding in her mind every time she looked at this girl, yet knew she was still in a relationship with Colton. How she thought about how soft the girls skin would feel when her thoughts should have been directed to her boyfriend. With a secretive passionate kiss behind the curtains of a show one night, guilt washed over Riley and she called her boyfriend in a cry, and told them they couldn’t be together. Riley was always honest. Her poker face was never really good, not even in a tone of her voice. So, she explained to Colton about how she felt, how it felt kissing this girl…and how utterly sorry she was for hurting him. To her surprise, the boy was understanding. At the end of the day, all he cared about was Riley’s happiness, and his heart was too kind to ever blame her when distance was already keeping them apart. He was selfless, and it was something she also learned from him.

 Colton and Riley’s communication was still held, and they became best friends. Cotlon was the only one she could ever express how she felt, too frightened to ever admit to her parents that she was a lesbian. “Col, you know my mom, she brought a priest in the house one day to flick holy water everywhere when she suspected I was having sex…she’s insane..” –A phone call full of Riley chewing on her painted pink nails, and continued sighs. It was that very call that Colton suggested the spontaneously joked idea about Riley auditioning for a show called IKAG. “That’s a fun way to come out. Just go on TV and kiss a bunch of beautiful girls.” The two laughed. The idea was a joke in itself, but after a night of glued eyes on the ceiling, Riley auditioned. 

RELATIONSHIPS:

n/a

[whittakerjodie]

The Mask (13th Doctor X Reader X 8th Doctor)

Requested: by me because I’m in love with these dorks 

Summary: It’s your turn to choose the adventure and, without another idea, you choose a masquerade ball. When you find yourself separated from the Doctor, you run into a mysterious and charismatic man who goes by the same name as your traveling partner...

A/N: I am so so sorry that I haven’t written in forever! I am in my first semester at college doing 16 credit hours and for great chunk of the semester I’ve also been working full time. I’m not, now, so I have a little bit more time, but I’m trying to finish this semester out strong. I hope that you enjoy this fic!

Words: 2.5k 

Warnings: None that I can think of, it’s a ‘jealousy’ type fic if that is something you want to avoid! 

“Good?” You whispered. The Doctor nodded, letting her hands fall from the sides of your face. The mask, which you had picked out from the TARDIS’ infinite dressing room, now rested neatly against your face, adding a bit of flair to the rest of your elaborate outfit. It was your turn to pick out where and when you went in the space-time machine. Having run out of ideas, your mind flashed back to the most recent movie you’d seen and in the end you proposed attending a masquerade ball. Purely for the aesthetics, you told yourself, although there was certainly some unconscious desires at play-

“How’s mine?” Your favorite time lord asked, having finished slipping on her mask. You gasped; clearly she’d had it for a long time. This was made evident by the gold intricately placed in complex circles against a black frame, the texture of which was dulled and beginning to fray from use and age. It fit nicely with her old fashioned suit, which was fashioned out of the same dark material, fitting her body awkwardly. Clearly she’d borrowed it from a past self. Her eyes, visible under the mask, seemed to have aged centuries from the second the mask had come into contact with her face to match it.

“It looks great” You said, certifying the outfits status. The Doctor grinned and held out a hand for you. You accepted it, enjoying the way her fingers curled around yours, transferring her warmth through your body. Her excitement, too, must’ve passed through your skin-level bond, because you could feel your heart racing as she led you out the doors towards the ball.

Within an instant, you were transported from the TARDIS’ interior dimension into a world filled with glitter and gold. It came in second place compared to the air of the room itself, which was occupied by the vibrations of the most glorious music you’d ever heard. People were everywhere, occupying every inch of the dance floor and beyond, blurring into a sea of movement. The Doctor squeezed your hand, and you threw yourself into the waves.

After about a half hour, you were about done with the dancing mess. At least for a time. Your clothes were beginning to stick to your body, your body's natural cooling function turning into a frustrating adhesive. Not to mention your feet were starting to ache, begging you to take it easy for a time. The Doctor, being an immortal ball of energy, was still enthusiastically throwing herself around the dance floor, forgoing any rhythm that she might’ve been recommended to meet. You flashed her a smile before turning to the snack table, fancying a drink. Reaching for the punch bowl, your movements were interrupted by the startling cough that started next to you.

You took a step back, concerned building for the man who was leaned against the wall, doubled over.

“Are you alright?” you asked, trying to remember everything you knew about preventing choking. Just as your hands moved towards the man, however, he straightened up with ease, all tension gone from his face. The only sign that anything was amiss were his eyebrows, which started to furrow.

“There was alcohol in my drink.” He said, as if offended. You chuckled. “Laying off, Hm?” Still, you avoided the punch bowl that he was glancing warily at and stepped in front of the next one.

“Don’t drink from that one either,” He recommended.

“... Why not?” You asked, confused and slightly irritated. “Not enough sugar. No fun.” You laughed. “Not enough sugar? What kind of a picker eater- drinker, I should say, are you?”

“I’m not picky,” The man whined. His eyes drifted from yours to the accessory surrounding them. “Where did you get that mask?”

From the softness of his words you instinctively raised your hand, fingertips brushing against the piece. “A… friend got it for me. Do you like it?”

“It looks familiar” He said, with a curious gaze.

“Does that mean you like it?” You whispered again. With his face so close, inspecting your mask, you needn’t speak too loudly. Face heating up, you cleared your throat. “Where’s yours?”

“My what?”

“Your mask. It is a masquerade ball” He paused and blinked, as if just remembering where he was. Then his face lit up, his body jumping quickly as his hands flew to his pockets. The mask he produced from them seemed to be of a standard shape and size; it was the design that caught you off guard. Golden circles covered the black frame, which was neither dulled or frayed but a healthy, vibrant shade. It was the same mask that the Doctor wore in the next room.

“Do you like it?” He asked coyly. Before he could cover up his features with the mask, you put a hand on his wrist, eyes scanning over his face. There wasn’t a lot of similarity, but you knew that regeneration was a lottery. Having met up with the Doctor’s 10th incarnation far too many times to count, you were well acquainted with the Doctor and their species’ habit for changing their face. He glanced over to your hand on his wrist and swiftly removed your iron grip. In an even quicker moment, he pulled your mask from where it rested and replaced it with his own.

Before you could process the change, your stolen mask was on his face.

“There! Since you liked mine so much. Now it’s yours.”

You tried to speak, but could only manage a sputter for several seconds until the shock released its hand from your vocal cords and you gasped: “Doctor?”

That threw him off guard. He slipped the mask upwards so it rested against his  curls, eyes narrowing. “How do you know that name?” He murmured.

“So you are the Doctor.” You said incredulously. “I’ve no idea which one but-”

“How do you know that I’m the Doctor?” He replied, tone turning sour with seriousness. Then he backed off a little. “Have we met before? You must understand, I have a habit of, well, forgetting myself. And everything else.”

“I travel with you!” You clarified, starting to get excited at the prospect of meeting a new (or, to put it chronologically, old, depending on where he was in the Doctor's life) incarnation of the Doctor. Realizing that your words might’ve been a mistake, you covered your mouth with a small squeak. From behind your hand, you worriedly asked: “Was I not supposed to tell you that?”

The new Doctor laughed. “I’m sure it’s no trouble. Luckily for you, I also happen to have the habit of running into my past and future selves, friends included!” The joy lacing his words put you at ease and you lowered your hand from it’s muzzle position only to have it captured by him immediately.

“Come,” He said, tugging you along as more people began to arrive at the snack table. “I want to meet you, properly!”

When the new Doctor mentioned that he wanted to meet you properly, you had no idea that dancing was his intention. But, soon enough, you found yourself ensconced in the commotion once again. Completely oblivious to the organized dance that was sweeping through the room, The new Doctor raised your entwined hands in the formation of a waltz, his other hand resting in a respectful position on the middle of your back. It’s warmth, so similar to your own Doctors, seeped through the fabric and created goosebumps along your arms.

“So, which one are you?” You asked, voice rising above the violins and cellos.

“Incarnations, you mean? I’m currently in my 8th body. I assume you travel with my 9th?”

“13th, actually,”

The 8th Doctor paused, looking confused for a moment. His lapse in movement caused him to bump into another partygoer, which jostled him back into the dance. “Ah, wearing a bit thin, then…”

“How do you mean?” You asked, concerned at his comment.

“Not to worry,” He said with an enormous smile. “How about you? Where are you from?”

“Earth”

“When?”

“2020”

The 8th Doctor cringed. “I really must come up with better questions”

“I’ve got one,” Said a new but familiar voice. The Doctor, your Doctor, stood only a fraction of an inch away, hands on her hips. ‘8′ gave her a once over, then looked at you and acknowledged the recognition in your eyes.

“Ah, you must be my future self!” He said excitedly. “Wonderful”

“Yes, it is,” your Doctor said hurriedly. “We really should get going, shouldn’t we Y/N?”

“But we’re dancing,” you protested.

“Yes, they want to dance,” the other Doctor reinforced. “Surely there’s no… problem?” You frowned at the inclination in his voice, and so did your Doctor.

“Then they can dance. With me?” your Doctor asked. It sounded authoritative, but the lift of her tone at the end left a hint of worry behind.

“Well, sure-” Before you could finish your sentence, your hand left the 8th Doctors and landed on the shoulder of your Doctor, who began to spin you around the room and away from her past self.

“Where’d your mask go?” She asked, hands gripping your waist tightly.

“He swapped ours,” You replied, trying to keep your voice steady as your Doctor dipped you. The world stopped in that moment, the Doctor’s eyes moving over the gold design. You imagined it would be necessary to breathe soon, but you didn’t want to disrupt the air between the two of you. To keep you steady, the Doctor's hands moved to your upper back, making you shudder.

“Well, jokes on him,” She whispered, as if proving herself in some momentous feat. “Now we match”

When you were raised back into a standing position you found yourself wobbling a bit, still dizzy from the seconds you’d spent near horizontal, only able to focus on your Doctor's voice and presence. Thankfully, there was another presence there to keep you steady.

“You don’t mind if I borrow them for a moment, surely?” the Doctors 8th incarnation asked, arm slipping around your waist.

“I don’t mind,” You squeaked. As you were turned away, you got the feeling that your Doctor did mind. The song ended and another one began, sweeping you off your feet. Or perhaps that was the 8th Doctor himself, who was moving the two of you throughout the room; an impressive feat given your close proximity to the other occupants- and each other.

“I do mind, actually,” your Doctor said grumpily a few moments later, easily and swifting transitioning you from his arms back to hers. Her old incarnation looked stunned for a moment before you lost sight of him. Everything was beginning to blur together, and soon it was hard to tell whose arms you were actually in at any given moment.

“Getting a little bit territorial in your old age, are you?” The 8th Doctor snipped over your shoulder. You resisted the urge to add fuel to the fire growing between them, trying to keep your mind on the music and the dance. However, your mind was distracted and your feet refused to move as they should.

“Old age? You mean more mature, wise-”

“No, I mean territorial” Your Doctor shook her head, trying to guide the two of you away from her past self, only to find that the way was blocked by too many people.

“Or maybe I just remember your plate being a little full” She challenged. “How’s Grace? Charley? Fi-”

“Okay, enough!” You yelped, not exactly anxious to hear all the names involved in the Doctor’s romantic history. Slightly out of breath, and incredibly dizzy, you glanced around for an uninhabited corner of the room that you could take advantage of. You didn’t find one, but you did see, out of the corner of your eye, a man dumping something into the punch bowl that you had been standing at previously.

“See?” You heaved, trying to catch your breath and end their ego contest. “Weird, suspicious stuff. Adventure, right? Go fetch!”

Both of them looked at you with wide eyes. Luckily, you didn’t have to suppress laughter, as your lack of air intake was doing that for you well enough. They looked at each other next.

“This isn’t over,” your Doctor grumbled, as she started moving towards the suspicious activity. As the back of her and the other doctors' suits entered your vision, you thanked the Universe for a break. It wasn’t too welcoming, and you found that each Doctor took one of your hands into theirs and began to lead you along.

__________________________________

It was another 3 hours of challenging quips and hand holding before you finally managed to get the break you so desperately craved, leaning against the TARDIS’ exterior as the two Doctors spoke of the past, the future and the present. It was nice to see them finally getting along. The adventure had brought the two of them together quite nicely, reminding them that they were one and the same despite the bodies and years separating them. Their conversation wrapped up smoothly, with smiles. Then, it was your turn to say goodbye.

“I can’t hang on to the mask, I don’t think” You said sadly, slipping his mask from your face. “I think that if I did, it wouldn’t be in the wardrobe for my Doctor to find. It could conjure up another one, though… maybe?”

“Your Doctor,” The 8th Doctor murmured with a smile. “I like that sentiment.”

Your cheeks grew warmer as you placed the mask into his palm, gently closing his fingers around it. He had taken your mask off of his face, but didn’t hand it over.

“You don’t mind if I keep this one, do you? I’ll put in a good word with the TARDIS to bring it back to you.”

Not entirely grasping the time travel and not bothering to, you nodded, knowing that somehow it would all work out. You glanced over his shoulder to see your Doctor, watching the two of you not with a look of apprehension, but with comforted observation. The 8th Doctor matched your gaze, chuckling to himself. “I suppose I best return to my own travels and time. But, Y/N, make no mistake. I’m very much looking forward to our future.” At the end of his sentence, with his words still echoing through the air, he raised your entwined hands and pressed a delicate kiss to the back of yours, with a squeeze as a promise for another time- One that was steps away.

Clutching your hand to your chest, you watched him disappear into his TARDIS, which began to dematerialize moments later. There was a small ache, but it was soon remedied by your Doctor approaching, with a distant look in her eyes. Clearly, the memories and experiences of another lifetime were beginning to resurface.

“Do I get one from you, too?” You asked to cheer her up. She raised a brow and you held out your other hand, the one untouched. Your Doctor slowly bowed her head to place her lips against it, humming softly. After she was done, she turned it over to place another kiss on the inside of your wrist, against the place where your heart beat in a rapid succession.

“Still trying to one-up him?” You whispered, voice slightly wavering. Your Doctor smiled, unlocking the TARDIS.

“Something tells me I don’t need to. Our future, remember?” Your future, together. Seeing the universe, together. You followed her into the time machine, heart full and eager for more.

[berrysbestbloggityblog]

13th February 2017- All for the Game series

Author: Nora Sakavic Genre: Thriller, sports, relationship Rating: This is the only series ever to challenge Harry Potter as my favourite. It is incredible Favourite Quote(s): (You should be lucky I narrowed it down to five) ‘Fight because you don’t know how to die quietly. Win because you don’t know how to lose.’ David Wymack, The King’s Men ‘Is your learning curve a horizontal line?’- Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men ‘I’ve been a problem for nineteen years. I’m too tired to be one tonight.’- Neil Josten, The King’s Men ‘Don’t look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren’t mine.’- Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men ‘I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.’- Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, The King’s Men

I’m going to warn you now, this is going to be long, and spoiler-y, and probably make little structural sense.

 So I hate sports. Any kind of sport. I just about tolerate swimming, and never just doing lanes.

I would also probably sell a kidney to be able to play Exy.

This series, quite honestly, has changed my life (and not just about sport). It features; diversity, therapy, alcohol, abuse survivors of all kinds, not enough playing the actual sport, torture, the MobTM, extreme character development, my OTP and too many chess references.

I will start, quite appropriately, with Neil Abram Josten, the many named man. I will not lie and pretend that one of the main reasons I love this series is not because Neil is the first canon demisexual character I have ever read. As a demisexual, this representation was something I didn’t even know I had been craving until I got it. His character made me more secure in my identity; he meant that I wasn’t making it up, that I was real and valid and there wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wasn’t picky or just ‘hadn’t had enough alcohol yet’ (thanks mum); what I felt was different but it wasn’t bad. For all the demisexuals out there, Neil was a godsend.

(For clarification on Neil’s sexuality I recommend reading SpangleBangle’s one-shot ‘Swinging Along the Z Axis’ on Ao3.)

More than that, Neil’s character just broke my heart. He’s haunted and hunted and desperate not to let anyone else get caught in the crosshairs. He doesn’t always do the smart thing, but he does generally do the right thing, and never takes the easy way out. He’s scarred and easily triggered and in some ways damaged, at least when he first arrives at Palmetto, but never, ever broken. Not even Baltimore or Evermore could break Neil Josten and while he’s sometimes regarded in the fandom as the soft to Andrew’s sharp, you’ll never find the Foxes thinking that because Neil is sly and underhand and play’s dirty when someone he cares about is on the line. If Andrew had to be the one to cut the deal with Ichirou, he would never have gotten out of that car alive.

He asked Andrew TO HIS FACE why his ex thought Andrew was tying him up, and didn’t clock for a single second until Andrew literally told him he’d blow him. He asked Nicky if they were friends because he’d never had any before. He is about as quick to get a social cue as I am running. He is so respectful of Andrew’s boundaries even before he found out why, even before their deal. He left Andrew, a person whom nobody had ever admired, whom no-one had ever been grateful for despite Andrew giving up EVERYTHING for them, with “thank you, you were amazing” and figured that would be enough to cover the destruction his death would bring. He chose being tortured by Riko on the off-chance it might spare Andrew some pain, and he chose to be taken to quite literally his worst nightmare, giving up his life and his freedom and everything he’d managed to accomplish that year to keep his Foxes safe.

For the first canon demisexual, he’s certainly setting the bar high.

I’ll save Andrew for last, so let’s get on to the rest of the Foxes.

I’m quite sure I could write an essay on each of them (except maybe Seth. Sorry. I just. Hated that guy). For your sake I’m going to keep it short, but feel free to ask me for a full character eval I’ll be happy to do it.

Matt Boyd- Literal sunshine, saw actual homeless child Neil Josten and decided immediately he would die for him, half of the brOTP of the century, you just KNOW he’s so sweet and attentive and respectful of Dan because she’d never go out with him otherwise. He canonically has a white and orange themed wedding… I actually can’t. He didn’t blame the Monsters for forcing him to go full cold turkey even though he knew Andrew didn’t do it for him and he was ready to fight to keep Neil after Baltimore.

Dan Wilds- Absolute BAMF, can and will kick your ass, the only female captain in Class I Exy and she’s had an uphill battle on her shoulders for years before Neil or even Matt arrives at Palmetto. She has short hair and probably wear gym shorts 90% of the time but she’s still allowed to dress up without everyone being like ‘omg wow dan in a dress’ like it would be in any other book. She was a stripper and she owns it because it’s what she did to survive and it was selflessness not ignorance or anything else that’s stereotypically attributed to strippers, that drew her to it.

Renee Walker- Basically a flower, if it was a flower that could also slit you from neck to gut and plaster on a serene smile a second later, she’s an accepting Christian who isn’t gay herself (*cough* EXTREME RENISON SUBTEXT THO *cough*), she’s working her way through her trauma in a way that is healthy, she wants to put her past behind her but she’ll bring it out to protect/help her friends. She’s the only person that stays with Andrew without some kind of deal between them and she doesn’t do it out of pity.

Allison Reynolds- will slay anybody with her look, refuses to let her grief break her, came through being cut off by her family for not being picture perfect and an eating disorder with confidence and grace and sass. She’s brutally honest in a refreshing way and I think that post King’s Men, with all the secrets out of the way, her and Neil can become much closer.

Aaron Minyard- oh he’s an asshat but he still wheedles his way into your heart. He loves Katelyn more than he probably thought possible, and he’s so snarky I love it. He also killed Drake despite training to be a doctor which I think is something everyone always forgets. I think the thing that annoys me the most about him is not that he’s mean to everybody but that he doesn’t even try to understand Andrew; he just immediately blames him and hates him but not enough to let Andrew go.

Nicky Hemmick- ‘let’s get this straight: I’m not’, nobody really talks about how horrific his childhood being raised in such a homophobic household did to him. They sent him to CONVERSION CAMP and only falling in love with Erik managed to save him from that dark place. His parents refuse to love him on account of his sexuality and then they manipulate him in order to set up Andrew for rape. Obviously it’s Andrew who gets hurt the most here (well I mean Drake dies but like that’s a good thing) but Nicky, like Neil, has to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. He’s a constant ray of positivity despite everything, despite his cousins never thanking him for doing this long-distance mess from his home just to be there for them.

Kevin Day- oh Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Kevin comes perhaps the farthest of all the foxes over the course of the series and it makes me feel so proud. I screamed in delight and had to put the book down to do a little victory dance when he got his Queen tattoo. I worry sincerely about his liver. He’s a sad little history nerd who has made Exy his LifeTM and an actual asshat on the court. Probably about as good as Neil at knowing how to make friends and he shows he cares through Exy references only but I still love my toll bean.

Ok. Deep breaths. We’re onto Andrew.

Sometimes I think about his character and it just makes me tear up slightly? He’s an apathetic shitty midget who hates Neil and sits on tall buildings because he’s scared of heights for the AestheticTM. Basically everyone on this Exy team is some shade of LGBT+ and yet there’s no similarities between how they express their sexualities. Andrew is gay and a sexual abuse survivor and a foster kid and ex-juvie, but he’s not stereotyped into any of the boxes any other series would put him in.

I know too many people who have been sexually abused. Any other time that I’ve read a book where someone was sexually abused it was either liberally ignored/easily overcome or the person was driven to committing suicide. Neither is particularly helpful to survivors in my opinion, not that I am any kind of expert, and therefore Andrew’s story blew my mind. Andrew is never going to ‘go back to normal’. He is always going to have boundaries and yes or nos and triggers. He is never going to smile often or take Neil off on romantic dates or care about more than his minimum. And that, that is ok. There is no checklist for trauma survivors that they have to work through to be counted as better. Even more brilliant than Nora allowing Andrew to be changed permanently by his trauma, is the way he has an active and encouraged approach to his own recovery. His relationship with Bee is something I truly treasure. I am lucky enough to have not ever gone through something similar to Andrew, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be extremely happy that other people have that representation. Recovery is a slow process, with setbacks and bad days, which is also shown in this series, but it’s possible.

I like that Andrew didn’t always somehow magically know to go and get therapy. He survived Drake through self-harm and while he doesn’t encourage it, which is good, he also doesn’t completely demonise it like some people do. I will be the last person to condone harming yourself, but wanting to be able to make choices in an otherwise choice-less situation is completely understandable.

Proust trying to ruin his scars makes me want to vomit.

He was put on meds after he attacked some men for attacking his cousin and everyone thinks he’s dangerous? And manic? And out of control? Neil is perhaps the first person Andrew lets in enough to understand that everything Andrew does has a reason, and while it’s not always a good one it is also never a selfish one. Their relationship was a trust-build for two and a half books and it makes it so much more powerful. By the time they progress to anything physical, they’re already tied by something unbreakable, not that Andrew’s likely to admit it any time soon.

This is already like five pages long oops so I’m going to round off now.

This series made me laugh, and cry, and I quite literally screamed into my pillow when Andrew finally kissed Neil but I think most importantly it opened my eyes to lots of previously not-thought-about topics and I’m a better person for having read it.

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