#i love the 'i've made a huge mistake' bit it's so good.
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a late valentine's day post featuring snetunia for @seriousbrat and @tax-onomic. also yes i've been rewatching arrested development what of it
#i love the 'i've made a huge mistake' bit it's so good.#also yay a first petunia drawing! new character unlocked! woohoo!#but this drawing is SO tiny idk why i did it like this. i can cover the entire thing with my phone with room to spare#also i originally intended to have all the requests done today but i actually started a new job literally today and well. bye free time#if i get more than five hours of sleep tonight i'll try to finish some more tomorrow lol. did not have it in me to scan stuff today#my art#hp#severus snape#pro snape#snape#snape fandom#snape fanart#young snape#snape art#young severus#petunia evans#snetunia
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PLS PLS PLS DO A FIC WHERE GOJO AND Y/N ADOPT THE FIRST YEARS BASED ON THAT SMAU PLSSSSSSS
I GOT YOU ANON!!!! oh, i've been dying to write this one!
Filling the Empty Spaces
Synopsis: You always thought that the house that you and your new husband, Satoru, lived in was way too big. One night after a rough mission, the both of you decide to keep an eye on Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara as they recover. You grow to love their company, and realize that they fit so perfectly not just in your house, but also your life.
Wc: 5.1k
Contains: teeth-rotting fluff, soft husband! gojo, yuuji no longer being sukuna’s vessel, gojo and reader are married, reader has a technique but it’s not explained, reader used to be a teacher but quit, gojo and reader adopting the first years, only a dash of angst, pregnancy (but only at the end), some suggestiveness but no smut, everyone is happy bc i said so. (gege don’t ever let me catch you)
a/n: this has to be the sweetest thing i’ve ever written in my life lol. also this is barely proof-read, so sorry for any mistakes!
-------------------------------------------------
Even with all of yours and Satoru’s belongings, the house that was left for him was still insanely huge. Your footsteps echo in the hallway as you mentally count the empty spaces. Three empty bedrooms, three empty bathrooms, another large room that could be considered a second living room. You knew it was big; Satoru said it was prior to you two getting married and moving in, but you wondered if you’d ever get used to having that much extra space.
“Oh, wifeyyyy,” Satoru calls out to you in his usual, sing-songy tone, his voice echoing throughout the hallway. “Where are you?”
“Near the kitchen!” You call back to him.
Your tall and handsome husband appears not even a minute later. The corner of his mouth pulls upwards into a smirk as he sees you sitting on the counter of the kitchen island. “Well, hello there, Mrs. Gojo.”
Your heart stutters in your chest, and you cast your eyes downward. “It’s gonna take a while before I get used to that.” You smile and lift up your left hand, allowing the gorgeous diamond on your fourth finger to glimmer in the sunlight that filled the space. “I still can’t believe it.”
Satoru steps in front of you and grabs your hand, bringing it to his mouth and placing a small kiss on your palm. “Believe it, pretty girl,” he says, his cerulean eyes meeting yours. He takes your other hand, then tugs upward so your arms are around his neck, his own hands settling on your hips. Your fingers brush against his undercut, then play with his soft white hair. “After all.” His voice dips to a sensual purr as his face inches closer. “I did tell you that I was going to make you my wife, didn’t I?”
He kisses you, and you sigh blissfully into his mouth as your eyes shut. Despite being practically glued to him during your two-week honeymoon on a beautiful island, you still craved him. His hand barely slides underneath your shirt before his phone starts ringing. He groans, and you giggle as he pulls away and grabs his phone out of his pocket. “Work?” You ask.
“Work. However, it’s Yuuji, not Yaga.” Satoru answers and begins talking while you hop off of the counter and decide to make both of you some tea. It wouldn’t be long before the sun begins to set, so you start thinking about what to make for dinner.
You look over to see Satoru’s brows furrowed. “Ah, I see,” he said to Yuuji on the other line. “Well, good to hear that you made it back to the school safely. Are you three alright? Megumi went to see Shoko for that injury?”
That worries you. From the sound of it, the first years went on another dangerous mission this afternoon. You knew that Kento Nanami was watching them, but with three students and dangerous curses, anything could happen. “I think I’ve come across a curse like that before,” Satoru says. “You get sick only after it hits you with that goo. Since you and Nobara only got a bit of it on you, you won’t die. However, it still concerns me. One second, okay?”
He tilts the phone away from him and turns to look at you. “Megumi got injured. Shoko healed him but needs to rest for at least a few days. Yuuji and Nobara might also become sick.”
Your heart sinks. Yuuji, Megumi and Nobara were just kids. You remember battling curses as a teen alongside Satoru and Suguru Geto before he became a curse-user, but becoming an adult and watching the next generation of students throw themselves into battle gave you an entirely different feeling. Around two months ago, Yuuji officially separated from Ryomen Sukuna and was freed from the burden of being his vessel; but you were getting a feeling that he still wanted to prove himself as a sorcerer by going on tough missions, all so he could stay around.
“They’re gonna need someone to keep an eye on them for a while. Everyone else at the school is busy,” you say, and Satoru nods. You pause on making the tea, then make a decision. “Alright, have Ichiji bring them here. We have plenty of space, as you can see, and I can help them out while you’re at work over the next few days.”
After all, the first years didn’t have anyone else.
Satoru kisses your forehead, then tells Yuuji the plan. Meanwhile, you double-check the three empty rooms and bathrooms. Each of them had freshly made beds, clean bathrooms and some decorative furniture—thanks to the housekeeping that maintained this house before you and Satoru moved in.
While you were thinking hard about some extra items that you didn’t have, Satoru comes up behind you and places his hands on your shoulders, which immediately slump under his touch. You sigh as he rubs the tension from them. “Baby, whatever we don’t have, and they need it, we can just buy it. Yuuji’s telling them to pack enough clothes for a while. Just relax. It’ll be okay.”
Right. It’ll be fine.
— — — — —
When Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara arrive, your face splits into a wide smile. You haven’t seen them since you and Satoru got married. A rush of movement, and the pink-haired teenager is hugging you tight, excitedly rambling about how much he missed you. The brown-haired girl is next, and Nobara literally squeals as she hugs you. Finally, the dark-haired teen, who is much calmer than his fellow first years. However, he doesn’t shy away when you hug him gently—being careful not to touch his side that was injured in battle—and he mumbles that it’s good to see you.
“Wow, this house is huge!” Nobara exclaims as she wanders around the kitchen, then the living room.
As always, Yuuji matches her high energy. “No kidding. There’s like a million rooms in this place!”
Satoru chuckles. He was dressed in his usual uniform and blindfold, leaning against the wall of the living room with his hands shoved into his pockets. “I’m glad you like it. This place was left for me. I knew that I wanted to move in here only if I got married. For a while, I thought I’d never touch it. Then I met that lovely sorcerer over there.”
Your cheeks heat, and the students ‘aw’ over his words. The oven dings, and you spring up. “Great, dinner’s done. Give me some time to set up.”
Satoru and Nobara sit with Megumi on the couch in the living room to watch TV, and Yuuji follows you to help set the table in the dining room. “You don’t want to go sit down?” You ask, reaching over to ruffle the boy’s hair. “You’ve had a long day.”
“It’s okay, I wanna help. Besides, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I missed talking with you.”
Your heart swells. You pass him some plates and some silverware, and he stacks it so he can take it to the table. “How are you holding up?” You ask as you pull the food you prepared out of the oven.
“Doing good. It definitely feels nice not having his voice in my head anymore,” he says from the dining room, neatly arranging the dishes. Five plates, five glasses, five sets of silverware. “Or worrying about him taking my body at any second. Just knowing that no one has to deal with him ever again brings me so much peace.”
“I’m so proud of you.” You take off of your oven mitts and walk towards him. “So is Satoru and the rest of your teachers, and so is your grandfather. He’d be happy knowing that you’re still helping people by fighting curses.”
That makes Yuuji pause. His smile is still there, but it wobbles at the corners. He turns away from you to hide his face, but the tremble in his shoulders is impossible for him to conceal. “Yuuji,” you call softly, and he sniffles, still turned around. Your heart aches, and you pull him to you. He immediately wraps his arms around you as his head settles onto your chest, his body shaking as he sobs quietly. You were thankful that the TV was on in the living room so he could have this moment privately.
“It’s okay to cry,” you whisper as you stroke his hair. “Everything’s alright. You’re brave, but it’s okay to break down, too.”
“Only reason I‘m alive is because you and Gojo-sensei fought against my execution.” He uses a sleeve of his jacket to wipe his tears. “I’ll be honest. There were so many times where I thought I wasn’t going to make it, or if it would be impossible to be separated from Sukuna without hurting anyone else. But you two had so much hope for me, and it pushed me to keep fighting.”
Tears fill your eyes, and you blink them back. “I’ll always fight for you, you hear me?” Yuuji nods, and you let him hug you for as long as you like.
Unbeknownst to you, Satoru watches you both from the living room with a gentle smile.
— — — — —
Dinner is filled with fun stories, jokes, and plenty of laughter. Once everyone has finished eating, Satoru and Yuuji do the dishes while you and Nobara help Megumi into one of the spare rooms after his shower.
“The bed’s super comfortable,” Megumi says, not fighting a single bit when you cover him with the blanket. “Thank you.”
“You better get some rest, Fushiguro,” Nobara says seriously as she crosses her arms. “Shoko said four days.”
“She’s right,” Yuuji comments as he walks into the room, sitting next to her on the edge of Megumi’s bed. “Not a single hour before.”
Megumi frowns. “You both are being dramatic.”
“Look, if Kugisaki and I have to lock you in here so you can rest, then that’s exactly what we’ll do.”
“Yup!” Nobara agrees with her usual grin, popping the p for extra dramatics. “And if that doesn’t work, we’ll just call the Gojos. Do you really want to get lectured by them?”
That makes you laugh. “Alright, you two, I think he gets it.” You gently fix Megumi’s hair—noting that his eyes were beginning to droop with exhaustion—then stand up. “Besides, you both might also be on bedrest. You did get hit by that curse earlier, and Satoru said that the effects won’t kick in until tomorrow. So it’s important that you two get plenty of sleep as well.”
Yuuji and Nobara say goodnight to Megumi, then the three of you leave his room. You decide to take your shower, making a mental list of groceries to buy for tomorrow now that the first years were staying with you for a few days. When you exit the bathroom in some sleepwear, you hear quiet giggling and snickering coming from the kitchen. You scoff, put on your house slippers and go investigate.
First, you see your husband’s white hair in the dimly-lit kitchen. You flip on the light switch, and burst out laughing at the sight. Satoru, Yuuji, and Nobara were stuffing their faces with cupcakes, all dressed in their pajamas. They were Satoru’s favorite, and he requested them from you every chance he got. “Now, what is going on here?” You ask.
“His idea,” Nobara attempts to mumble with her mouth full as she points at Satoru. Yuuji immediately nods in agreement and also points at his teacher. Satoru only shrugs with his usual smile, using a thumb to wipe away the blue icing on his lips before licking it clean. Then he offers you one. “Here, have one. They’re delicious.”
“No, silly, it’s late.” You put the cupcake back in its container, then hand the two teens a napkin. “And you two should be getting some rest. Megumi’s already fast asleep.”
Surprisingly, they don’t put up a fight. You happily do skincare with Nobara in the bathroom of the bedroom that she was using, and you both make plans to go shopping for some face masks once they’re all feeling better. When she finishes moisturizing her face, she gives you another hug. “Missed you,” she mumbles into your shoulder.
“Aw, sweetheart,” you sigh as you return the hug. “I’ve missed you as well. Was it a long few weeks for you?”
“Well, kinda,” she says as she pulls away, then goes to sit on her bed. “I know you and Gojo-sensei were on your honeymoon, and we expected that, but we’re all just getting used to the fact that you’ve officially quit working at the school. We support it, but it sucks knowing that we’re not going to see you as much.”
The thinly-veiled sadness in her eyes makes your gut twist. Of course they were going to miss you. You saw them and worked with them every single day. “Nobara, I’m always going to be here for you. Just because I no longer work there, that doesn’t mean I still can’t visit or even help out with you three.”
Nobara rests her head on your shoulder, and you rub a comforting hand up and down her back. “Promise?” she asks quietly.
“I promise.”
When she goes to bed, you leave her room and shut the door behind you. Finally, you walk to Yuuji’s room, which is still lit up. You get to the doorway, and you hide a laugh when you see that he fell asleep almost immediately after laying down. More than likely got more comfortable than he thought when he tested the bed. You adjust the pillow so it’s under his head, pull the blanket over his body, mess with his hair once more, then switch the lamp off so he can rest. You leave, then shut the door.
“They all fell asleep so quickly,” you say to Satoru once you walk into your spacious, shared bedroom. You climb into bed next to him, sighing when you feel the soft, silk sheets against your skin. Like every night, he tugs you into his large, muscular arms, and you rest your head against his chest.
This was your favorite spot to be; in the arms of the strongest, most powerful man in the whole world. Satoru was protective in every sense of the word. Nothing would ever happen to you as long as you were with him.
“I’m certain that those rooms are much more comfortable than the dorms at the school,” he says. You feel his hand rubbing soothing patterns against your arm. “So, what’s your plan for tomorrow?”
“Keeping an eye on them. I’m almost one hundred percent positive that they’re all going to be sleeping most of the day.” You then press a kiss against Satoru’s jaw. “And when you get home from work tomorrow, I expect you to rest, too. I know you’re dealing with the higher-ups.”
“Eh, who cares about them?” Satoru scoffs. “I tune them out.”
“Yeah, you really gotta stop doing that.”
— — — — — — — —
Your morning starts early. You’re barely awake when you feel Satoru kiss your cheek, whispering in your ear that he loves you and that he’ll see you after work. You sleep for about another half-hour, then decide to get up. After brushing your teeth, you walk down the hallway leading to the kitchen. The sun is already shining through the large windows of the sunroom, and you pause in your tracks when you see Megumi, silently reading one of the many books you kept in there.
He’s sitting on a bean bag chair towards the corner of the room, and you notice two more books on the ground next to him. When he sees you staring, he sits up and shuts the book. “Sorry.” The apology comes out in a faint, yet frantic rush. “I-I was just curious, and I’ve never seen a huge collection like this, and—”
“Megumi.” Your soft voice stops him, and his shoulders slump in relief when he sees you smile and sit in the bean bag chair adjacent to his. “It’s alright. Books are meant to be read. I’m just happy you found this room. I thought you might like it.”
“It’s so peaceful here,” he comments as he looks around slowly, taking in the beauty of your favorite room in the house. One wall is lined with books, neatly organized on floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall shelves. There is also a tall ladder that slides smoothly across the shelves, which aids you whenever a book is placed far too high. The rest of the room is filled with bean bag chairs, plants, and a few small, decorative statues.
You tilt your head to get a closer look at the book in his hand. “What are you reading?”
“A sci-fi,” he says, “I’ve kind of been interested in them since watching Human Earthworm with Itadori.”
“Ah.” You stand up, drag the ladder towards the middle of the shelves, then climb up to retrieve a duology. “I think you’ll like this series, then. In addition to the books you also have with you.”
Megumi rubs the back of his head bashfully. “I hope I’ll have enough time to get through these,” he says, then yawns. “And energy. Still tired even though I slept for a while.”
“Your body needs rest, and it’s okay. You can keep the books until you’re finished. Take your time.”
Megumi smiles at that. It’s small, but it’s there, and you love it. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
— — — — — —
Like you expected, Yuuji and Nobara weren’t feeling good that morning. They had some body aches, chills and a light cough. Luckily, they had you to look after them. You prepared soup for the three of them, and you made sure they were comfortable and hydrated. When Satoru returned from work, he gave all three of them medicine to help with any pain. The both of you kept an eye on them as they slept.
Over the next few days, they were all feeling better, however, both you and Satoru kept making excuses to keep them for another day. What if their cold comes back? Or, Maybe Shoko miscalculated and Megumi needed a few more days to fully recover?
Even when the first years were well enough to start going on missions again, Satoru had made it a habit to bring them back with him at the end of the day. You’ve also made new habits since the first years entered your home. Every morning, you would make breakfast for everyone to enjoy at the table. You loved seeing Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara’s smiles, or hearing them groan whenever Satoru made a joke that was just a little too cheesy. And their hugs. Oh, you loved their hugs. You hugged them before they went off to jujutsu high with Satoru each morning, and you hugged them each night before bed.
After about six weeks, you were so used to them being over every night; so much to the point that you and Satoru stared at Yuuji in confusion when he asked if you were tired of them. Both of you had never said, “No,” so fast in your lives.
Not only were you used to it, you loved it. You loved sitting quietly in the sunroom with Megumi, enjoying each other’s company while reading your respective books. You loved listening to Yuuji’s wild stories about his epic adventures as a sorcerer, even better when Satoru joined in and helped him with the dramatics. You loved doing face masks and painting your nails with Nobara. You were pretty sure you spent up to a few hours each week in the bathroom with her, laughing joyfully and listening to music as you played around with cosmetics.
You loved movie nights with the five of you sitting together on the couch, passing popcorn and other treats amongst each other. You loved it when each of the teens came to you about what was bothering them. By the second month, all of them had trusted you enough to cry around you. You loved comforting them—being a sorcerer is hard and gruesome, and anyone would need support. You loved holding them, wiping their tears, and feeling them settle when you reassure them that you and Satoru would keep them safe. You loved seeing them play silly games in the spacious backyard. Sometimes, you and Satoru joined them so you could have fun with them.
Before any one of you knew it, five months of this had passed.
At that point, Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara’s dorms back at the school were practically deserted, and the once-empty guest bedrooms of yours and Satoru’s home were filled with their belongings. Clothes, shoes, books, posters, souvenirs, trinkets, and photographs. You and your husband never did hold back when it came to spoiling them, whether with materials or experiences. You had noticed that the three of them were glowing. Louder laughs, smiles that reach their eyes, sleeping better, feeling more comfortable, and overall, looking much happier.
“They feel loved,” Nanami had told you once you explained it to him on a day you went to visit the school. “Everyone glows when they feel loved.”
— — — — —
“We should adopt them.”
At Satoru’s words, you look up from your book to face him. He’s laying down in your shared bed, facing the ceiling with an arm tucked behind his head. It is nearly midnight, and you are the only ones awake in the house. “Really?” You ask, unable to hide your smile. You shut your book and put it on the bedside table. This was a conversation that you’ve been hoping to have for a while. Finally, you’re talking about adopting those three and officially having them as your kids.
“Yeah.” He sighs as he sits up. “I like having them here, and I can tell that you do, too. I can also tell that they like being here. They’re much more relaxed. Yuuji and Nobara are sleeping so much better, and plus, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Megumi smile so much.”
“I love having them here,” you say. You reach for his hand, and he clasps it with yours, intertwining your fingers together. “I don’t want them to ever go back to that school. They’re so happy here. I want to keep them happy. Besides, if we adopt them, I’m pretty sure that would keep the higher-ups from deciding to toss them into reckless missions simply because they have no legal guardian. They’d have to go through us first, right?”
“They’d have to go through us first regardless.” Satoru then chuckles. “Have you been wanting to talk about adopting them, pretty girl? You seem like you’ve put so much thought into this.”
“You have no idea.”
“I wish you said something sooner. Honestly, we could’ve done this a few months ago.”
You kiss his cheek, then rest your chin on his shoulder. “Well,” you start, “I remember you saying that you were hesitant about starting a family towards the beginning of our relationship a few years back. I didn’t know if your mind had changed or not. Adopting three teenagers falls into that category.”
“Ah, so that’s why you never talked about it recently,” he says with a thoughtful hum. “Before we got together, I didn’t know how I felt about having a family, simply because I got to a point where I could never see myself having such a thing. But, then I fell in love with you, and in love with life with you. I’d love to start a family with you.” He kisses your hand, then continues, “And I’m not just talking about adopting Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara.”
You gasp lightly, and your heart begins to race in excitement. You lift your head, then turn your body so you’re directly in front of him. “Satoru.” Your voice comes out in a barely-audible whisper. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Gentleness glimmers in his blue eyes, and he uses a hand to stroke your cheek. You instinctively lean into the touch, and his thumb wipes away the tear that barely slides from the corner of your eye. “If you want to,” he starts, “and if you’re ready, I’d love to have a baby with you.”
You think you’re dreaming. You feel like your body’s about to explode. It takes everything not to squeal loudly and wake up the teens. You smile and nod, wiping away the tears of joy before they blur your vision any further. “I’d love that, too.”
Satoru leans in and kisses you. It’s slow, loving and so very gentle. He slightly trembles, and you open your eyes to see that he was also tearing up from the happiness. “I love you.” His voice is low, yet shaky. “I love you so fucking much.” He kisses you again, then moves from your mouth, slowly down your neck. “I’ll take care of you. All of you.” He gently pushes you back against the sheets, and you sigh as his hands trail down your body. You wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer.
“All five of you.”
— — — — —
“So, you wanted to talk with us?” Yuuji asks.
You, Satoru, and the teens all sit on the luxurious couch in the living room the next morning. Since there’s no missions for them, they get to relax at home. All three of them were still cozy in their pajamas, and they finished eating their breakfast not too long ago.
“Yes,” you say as you sit up. “So, it’s been five months of you all staying here.”
At once, Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara stiffen, then share grim looks with each other. It confuses you, and before you can ask about it, Nobara sits up. She gulps hard, and you know from her staying with you for so long that it’s because she’s trying to choke back tears so they wouldn’t form in her eyes. “It’s okay,” she says, “we understand. We knew that this would be a temporary thing.”
“Huh?” Satoru asks, also confused. You can tell that his brows are furrowed underneath his blindfold. “What’re you—”
“I mean, five months is a lot. We get it. You didn’t have to keep us for this long, but you did. Thank you,” Megumi says.
Yuuji nods with a smile, but you know it’s a fake one. It makes your heart ache. “Just know that we’re extremely grateful for everything.”
“Every last bit of it. Thank you so much,” Nobara chimes in.
“Okay, all of you, stop.” Your voice is firm, and it silences them all at once. Megumi is facing the ground to hide his face, Yuuji’s fake smile fades as he casts his eyes downward, and Nobara looks over at the wall, nervously chewing at her lip. “This isn’t what you think it is. Satoru and I don’t want you three to leave.”
Now it’s their turn to look confused. However, they’re all finally looking directly at you, and that makes you feel a little bit better. “We were going to ask if you’d like to make it permanent, because we’d love to adopt you three.”
They gasp, and their eyes widen in shock. It’s silent for a few beats, then Nobara faintly asks, “...What?”
Satoru chuckles, then claps his hands together once. “Aw, c’mon, Nobara! Surely, you know what ‘permanent’ means!” You roll your eyes. Adding humor to make a situation less tense was such a Satoru Gojo thing to do.
The teens still look in shock. “So…” Megumi starts, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’d be our parents?”
“Yes,” you reply with a smile.
Nobara sniffles, and you look over at her to see that she’s no longer holding back her tears. “And- And we’d be your kids?” Her voice is also quiet. Yuuji, on the other hand, is much louder with his question. “And these two would be my siblings?!”
You giggle, then nod again. “Yes, one hundred percent yes. I know it’s sudden, and if you all need time to think about it—”
“Yes!!” Nobara practically screams, then runs over to hug you and Satoru as she begins sobbing. A split second later, Yuuji is there too, also hugging you tight. Megumi joins last, and the five of you remain there, embracing each other. Embracing your husband, your two new sons and your new daughter. Your eyes shut as you laugh with joy, unaware of your own tears.
— — — — — —
Six months later
“So yeah, that’s the story of how Mom and Dad adopted us,” Yuuji concludes, then places his hand against your swollen tummy. “Pretty cool, right?”
As if responding, ‘Yes,’ the baby within you gently kicks. “Ha!” Yuuji exclaims excitedly, then grins over at Megumi and Nobara. “I told you that they like my voice!”
Nobara rolls her eyes. “Oh, please, Yuuji, they like all of our voices, but they like mine the most.” Now she puts her hand against your stomach, leaning close so the baby could hear her better. “Right, sweets? Isn’t your big sister your favorite sibling?”
Two light kicks. Yuuji gasps in surprise while Nobara cackles victoriously. Megumi scoffs at their foolishness, and you laugh.
“I won’t lie though,” Megumi says. “I’m curious about what technique they’re going to have.”
“Yeah, will it be Mom’s or Dad’s?” Yuuji asks.
You shrug. “We don’t know yet.”
The front door opens, and you hear Satoru call out, “I’m home!” as he walks towards the living room where all of you were sitting. Like every day, he gives Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara hugs as he asks about their days, then comes to you. He kisses your forehead, then your tummy. “Hey, little one,” he quietly coos. “Hope you didn’t give mama too much trouble today.”
“No vomiting today, so, yeah, they did pretty good.” You gently stroke his cheek. “Missed you today. How was work?”
“Yeah, how was work?” Nobara asks excitedly. “Any special grade curses?”
“Eh, nothing like that today,” Satoru says as he sits in between you and Megumi, ruffling the boy’s hair. “However, the second years are starting to plan a surprise party for Okkotsu’s birthday. I passed the word to the rest of the staff, and now I’m letting you all know about it.”
Megumi nods as he settles back into the comfortable couch cushion. “Inumaki did text me about that earlier.”
“This is going to be so fun!” Yuuji exclaims.
“Yeah, as long as we don’t leave you in charge of handling the cake like we did for Nanamin’s birthday last year, since you like to drop them,” Nobara scoffs.
“Oh, come on! That was one time!”
Megumi tsks, and shakes his head. “One time is too many.”
As they playfully squabble, you and Satoru watch them with soft smiles. His blindfold was lowered, so you got to see the pure love and happiness in his eyes. He finally has the family that he once dreamed of as a child. You lean on his shoulder, and he kisses your cheek.
Finally, your house was full, and so was your heart.
#jjk#jjk fluff#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#megumi fushiguro#yuuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo#writtenbyrey#my fics#satoru x reader#gojo x you#husband gojo#satoru x you#gojo
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"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." - Tom Hanniger Prompt Response
Summary: Tom has taken you hostage. This is not the Tom you knew and fell in love with. Unable to escape, can you get him to trust you and maybe even reach him?
Pairing: Tom Hanniger x Female!Reader
A/N: Prompt from @thelonelyempath. So, just out of the gate, not gonna lie, this is one of the most fucked up things I've ever written and probably the darkest. Story wise I mean. There's something about Tom and that world from the movie that I love exploring. Before I knew it, this was nearing 18K and I was like "Crap, time to wrap this up!" I still enjoyed the exploration of Tom and the reader though in the dynamic they're in during this one.
I tried my best do my research and be respectful in regards to DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but also keep this a few years post-movie (2009) while also staying within the context the movie provided but also explore a bit, if that makes sense. Please note I do not work in the psychiatry, psychology, or medical fields. If I got anything appallingly incorrect about this disorder, its symptoms, its treaments, anything, please let me know. Also, I think it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway), not every single person who has been diagnosed with DID is violent or a threat to others nor are their alters violent or a threat to others. Obviously, this is just a work of fanfiction based on a fictional story where the main character had an alter that was violent and a threat to everyone. No harm or disrespect is intended with this fanfiction at all.
Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.
Warnings: explicit violence; hostage situation; mentions of knives; dubcon; sex (smut-light); explicit descriptions of murder; mentions of burying a body; explicit threats of physical violence; explicit threat of sexual violence; explicit threat of neonaticide (I highly recommend looking this word up if you don't know what it means so you can decide if you still want to read from there; I didn't feel comfortable spelling it out here to be honest); physical threat of neonaticide; explicit threats of murder; mention of past sexual violence; mention of past sexual assault; implied past domestic abuse; misogynistic language; language
Word Count: 18k+
Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel
Tom Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl
Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx
You can also read on AO3
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe."
Soldier Boy version ✨ Beau version ✨ Dean version ✨ Jenny version ✨ Jason version ✨ Anael version ✨ SDV Alex version
When you came to, you glanced around the cabin you were currently tied up in. Tears blurred your vision, strands of your hair matted to your face, and you could feel the gag cutting tightly into the sides of your mouth. You didn’t bother trying to yell or make noise. You knew the cabin you were in since Tom had brought you here once to see it; there was no one and nothing around for miles. The next town over where Tom could get supplies was the closest thing and that was about an hour’s drive.
How had things gone so wrong? You tried to be a good person, you always tried to do the right thing…so how did you end up here?
You already knew the answer to that, though. Because you let him in. Literally, right through your front door.
As if your thoughts summoned him, Tom appeared from the kitchen with two plates in hand and a huge grin, despite a black eye and cut lip he was sporting. He laid yours down in front of you and you could see chicken parmesan, your favorite, surrounded by linguini and green beans. He then placed down his own plate in front of his empty chair before turning back to you with a look of determination. “Alright. Let’s get this off you. No screaming, okay?” He asked, using a softer tone than you’d heard from him all day. “No struggling. And no running.” As if there was any point in screaming or running; no one would hear you and he’d catch you before you made it ten feet. He loosened your gag and pushed it down past your chin to hang around your neck. When you didn’t scream, he graced you with a warm smile. “Good girl,” he murmured as he began working on the ropes tying your hands to the chair. When he moved down to the ones on your legs, you rubbed at your sore wrists, noting a few surface cuts around your arms. He noticed and a frown formed on his face. “Sorry, I won’t tie them as tightly next time,” he promised. You didn’t know what else to do but nod.
When he was finished, he sat up and his fingers gently gripped your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his. His green gaze bore into yours and he tenderly trailed the backs of his fingers against your cheek, almost watching you in some sort of odd reverence that you had no idea existed until the last couple of months. He began to lean in, presumably to try and kiss you like he had earlier, but he must have thought better of it and stopped, digging his teeth into his bottom lip as he got to his feet. While you were grateful he hadn’t connected his lips to yours, you had to wonder what deterred him and that made you worry. He studied you for a moment and, just as you feared, he then made his way over to the other chair being used, his soft expression immediately hardening and his warm eyes icing over as they settled on your estranged husband.
He grabbed the back of the chair and dragged him away from the table, choosing to dump him in a corner on his side, making Miles groan in pain. Tom kicked him for good measure and you heard Miles yell out against the gag in his mouth.
“Please,” burst out of you. “Please, Tom, don’t!”
Tom’s glare snapped up towards you. “After everything he’s done to you, don’t tell me you’re still protecting him.”
You knew you had to act quickly, to cajole Tom so you could draw his focus away from Miles. You were the only reason Miles wasn’t dead yet, you knew that without a doubt. “I’m not,” you soothed. “I just want to eat the dinner you went to the trouble of making for me. It’s been hours since I last ate and I really need to eat. I’m sure you’re hungry, too. Please, just come and sit down.”
Thankfully, Tom’s eyes softened a little at your pleading but he still gave Miles one more good kick that made you flinch before he came over to join you. He pulled a knife out of his jacket which made your heart start to pound a little faster but he simply smiled as he also produced a plastic fork. He leaned down and began to cut your chicken into bite size pieces for you. “I, uh, I’ve never made chicken parmesan before so I hope it’s alright,” he told you, a shy smile on his face. You marveled at how he could go from being the scariest thing you’d seen in your life one minute to being the sweetest and most humble guy you’d ever met in the next. “And I know green beans aren’t what would usually go with this dish but I didn’t really have anything else.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.
“I’m okay with green beans,” you quietly assured him.
He dropped his hand and smiled, looking relieved and leaning in to tenderly kiss you. You tried your best not to tense up as he did. Tom then made his way over to his seat, leaving you the fork but not the knife. Not only did he not want to chance you using it on him but he most likely didn’t want you using it on yourself either. You never would but he obviously wasn’t too sure about that. You watched as he poured both of you a glass of sparkling cider and sat down a few battery-operated candles between you.
When he handed you your glass, you were disappointed to find it was plastic. He really had thought of everything. He misread your expression and assured you, “I know it’s not the best but I wanted something nice for you for dinner. I’ll get something better though, next time I’m in town. I promise.” You offered up a thin-lipped smile and a nod which seemed to placate him for the time being. So he planned to keep you for a while then. You only hoped Miles would keep his mouth shut and that you could get Tom to start trusting you as you waited for an opportunity that might come your way with the aforementioned trip to town.
Tom took the seat across from you, smiling, and reached over to touch his glass to yours. You watched as he took a sip and after a moment, you joined him, making him grin happily.
As hungry as you were, you weren’t in a rush to eat anything that he had prepared for you out of sight. What if he was intent on drugging you? You weren’t even sure if he hadn’t before. You barely remembered how you got here. All you knew was Miles showed up, having found you, and Tom reacted, then nothing until you woke up here. The only other thing you remembered was blonde hair and so much blood— You tried to shut that thought out. Thinking about Tom again, If he planned to keep you here for a while, he’d have to sleep at some point and he could be planning to drug you then, like right now. And God only knew what he planned to do with Miles; you prayed you could somehow convince him to let the man go while you stayed behind (even though that would be just as dangerous for you). Though Tom hadn’t been wrong; Miles didn’t deserve your compassion. But that didn’t mean you wanted to watch the man you’d once shared a life with die brutally either. If Tom’s distaste for your husband was anything to go by, if he decided to end Miles, it would indeed be brutal.
“Something wrong?”
The question snapped you out of your reverie. You glanced up to find Tom watching you worriedly. You forced a reassuring smile onto your face. “No. Of course not.”
“I thought you needed to eat.” His eyes bored into you, flicking back and forth from the plate to you.
“I will. I’m just…taking it slow.”
He frowned at your food. “It’s not that good, is it?”
“What? No. No,” you worked to reassure him. “It’s just that…” You didn’t want to voice the words and chance angering him.
“Just what?” When you couldn’t think of a way to phrase it and kept quiet instead, he urged you in a softer tone, “Eat, sweetheart.”
You realized then that you had no choice but to take a few bites if you didn’t want to do anything to anger or upset him. You hoped to God that there was nothing in it.
Almost as if he read your mind, his jaw tightened as he went to spear more chicken with his fork on his plate. “There’s nothing in it if that’s what you’re worried about. I wouldn’t do that to you.” His eyes lifted to yours, that soft reverence back in them. “To either of you.” He flicked them to your round stomach in meaning and then back to you again.
You wanted to believe him, especially when he looked at you like that, but wouldn’t it be easier for him to be rid of the child that wasn’t his? Then again, he hadn’t killed Miles yet and he fancied himself in love with you, and you were currently housing said child… Perhaps he truly didn’t mean your baby harm, while it was in utero at least.
Tom let out a heavy sigh and dropped the fork, making it clatter against his plate. He was now scowling over at you, clearly displeased at your show of distrust in him. Uh oh.
Now definitely without a choice, you took a forkful of chicken and slowly bit into it. He seemed pleased with the action and after a moment, continued to eat himself. As you quietly chewed, you realized that it wasn’t half bad, and you were starving. As scared as you were, you knew you would need to keep up your energy for any opportunity to escape, to get you and your baby to safety, and truthfully, you needed to take any chance at a meal that you could. Tom smiled to himself as you really dug in.
You had halfway cleaned your plate when you heard “So it’s okay?”
You stopped to see Tom sitting there, leaning forward and watching your every movement, the biggest grin on his face. You swallowed down the chicken you had just stuffed into your mouth and held a hand over your lips self-consciously. “Good,” you admitted quietly. “Very…good.”
Satisfied with that answer and himself, he sat back in his chair and continued to smile over at you. Though it was unnerving, you continued to finish your meal, your goal being to keep your strength up for your baby. When you were done, he got to his feet and grabbed his plate, slowly making his way over to you. Your heart pounded with each heavy footstep and it nearly stopped when he reached you.
Tom grabbed your empty plate and slid his still half-full one in front of you, placing your fork onto it. When you turned a puzzled expression up towards him, he leaned down and pecked your lips, murmuring to you, “You two need it more than I do.” He kissed you one more time before he walked away, heading into the kitchen. You watched him go in shock, thoughts racing in your mind. Knowing he had eaten some of the food and remembering his promise, after mulling it over for a minute or two, you then dug in, your focus on the chicken and green beans. You needed as much energy as you could get.
He spooned you that night after insisting you take the only bed in the place — his bed. You felt him press a tender kiss to the back of your neck every few minutes and while that made you uncomfortable, his hands gently rubbing your belly had you absolutely terrified. You imagined all sorts of horrible things as you laid there in the dark, with only a shaft of moonlight sneaking into the room through an opening in the curtains. You kept expecting a knife to be pulled, a fist to collide with your bump, to feel the stab of a hypodermic needle — something. It got so bad that you started to shake and Tom, thinking you were cold, moved the blanket over you both a little higher before resuming his ministrations. You wanted nothing more than to throw his hands off of you and get out of the bed, moving away from him. It was one thing for him to have his hands on you, though now it made your skin crawl in the worst way, but your baby…you would give anything to keep him away from the one person you’d do anything to protect.
You were frozen in fear despite the tremors of your body. You felt the baby move and while that should have overjoyed you like it usually did, it caused tears to start rolling down your cheeks, soaking the pillow beneath you. How much longer would you get to feel that? How much longer would Tom allow you to keep your baby?
“Oh,” he exhaled against your neck. “She’s kicking.”
You closed your eyes, forcing more tears to fall, as your lips trembled. You thought back to the first time he’d come into contact with your baby this way. You had been such a fool — such a blind, trusting, naive fool.
You were cleaning a wooden frame of a painting with a rag when you felt the familiar movement within your tummy. “Oh,” you chuckled, holding a hand to the side of your stomach.
“Are you okay?”
You glanced up to find Tom up on a ladder, watching you with furrowed brows. You gave him a bright smile. “Yeah, of course. The baby’s kicking. Come down here, quick.”
Still looking worried, Tom hurried down the ladder and approached you.
“Give me your hand.” You grabbed the hand he offered up and placed it right where you had just felt movement. Tom glanced back and forth between you and your stomach, looking unsure for what he should be feeling.
A moment later, the baby kicked again. “There! You feel it?”
You knew he must have because an expression of surprise and awe came over his handsome face as he stared down where you held his hand.
Another kick happened and it made you laugh. “Oh, she’s very active today.”
Tom smiled over at you. “You’re having a girl?”
“Well, I don’t really know what I’m having yet but,” You grinned, feeling yet another kick. “I hope it is.”
“Then I hope it is, too.” You glanced up to find him watching you with that soft look you’d seen before. You gently squeezed his hand in thanks and then focused again on your bump.
Tom had been helping you restore the old house you’d moved into. You felt comfortable around Tom, he put you immediately at ease when you met. He’d been a huge help to you and when you had moments like that, you just chalked it up to him maybe having a little crush on you. At least that’s what Cindy, a new friend of yours (and the realtor who’d helped you find the place), said the first time she’d seen you two together when she stopped by to see how you were doing and how the house was coming along. But you never thought anything more of it. Tom never made a move or asked you out. He also never encroached on your personal space without invitation or pushed past your boundaries. He never did anything to make you uncomfortable. As you got to know him, you began to trust him.
But now, you wondered how you could have ever been so stupid.
“You feel that, Y/N?” He breathed, grabbing your hand and holding it to your stomach. “She kicked again.” His tone was so full of wonder and happy surprise that you immediately started to cry. His hand traveled from your stomach up to your hair, smoothing it away from your face. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” You could hear the sudden concern.
“Are you going to kill my baby?” You choked out on a sob.
You felt him turn you onto your back so he could look down at you. He looked less than pleased but he murmured, “No. I told you, I would never hurt either of you. I love you.” He inclined his head towards your stomach. “And her. Everything I’m doing is for you both. I wish you would believe me, Y/N.”
“I really want to,” you cried.
He wiped at your tears and stroked your cheek, before leaning down to kiss you. This time, you opened up for him when he sought entrance beyond your lips and you knew he was pleased by the little groan he let escape into your mouth. You didn’t protest when his hands roamed all over your body, thankfully steering clear of your stomach. You didn’t say a word when he stripped you of your clothes, whispering “Beautiful” as he uncovered every inch of your skin. You didn’t fight when he urged you to open up for him and his tender touch brought you to heights you had never reached before with a partner other than him that left you gasping for air. As you shivered and shook, unable to keep from crying out, and dug your fingernails into his arm, he smiled lovingly down at you. While you came back down, he pressed kisses to your hair, face, and lips. He watched you, almost if he was waiting for something, so you hesitantly reached out for the button on his jeans, thinking you now needed to return the favor, when he stopped you.
“This was about you,” he murmured before kissing you. “It’s been a long day. You should get some rest.”
You nodded, not wanting to disagree in the slightest. He pulled the blankets up over your naked form and urged you onto your side again, away from him. He spooned you once more and placed a kiss to the back of your neck. “Sleep, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’ll keep you safe.” His hand then cupped over your belly protectively. “Both of you.”
You bit your lip to keep the tears from starting up again. God, you hoped that was true.
The next morning, you woke up alone, feeling groggier than usual. You panicked for a moment, thinking Tom may have drugged you after all, but you remembered you hadn’t eaten or drunk anything before you went to sleep. You also didn’t find any obvious injection sites when you searched your body in the bathroom, using both mirrors to your advantage. You chalked it up to everything that happened yesterday. It had been taxing on you, mentally and physically. You were just exhausted and needed more sleep. You might even need a nap today, if only you could relax enough to take one. Though you didn’t see that happening anytime soon. You dressed and made your way out to the main room, worried about where Tom was, though you felt a little relief seeing Miles in the room, still breathing.
You found Tom in the kitchen, making you breakfast, and he gave you a big smile when he saw you. “Morning, Beautiful.” He leaned down and pecked your lips, giving a gentle stroke to your belly with his free hand. “My two beautiful girls.” You forced a smile and hugged him from behind, laying your head against his back, just like you used to do. You hoped that the gesture of affection would keep him just like this, a semblance of the Tom you’d known before Miles ever showed up. It must’ve worked because he squeezed your arms with his free hand and continued cooking.
Thankfully, this time when you sat down at the table, he didn’t tie you to the chair. Instead, he smiled at you as he placed the plate of eggs in front of you and pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “Eat, sweetheart,” he urged. “And then I want to show you something.”
You nodded, immediately digging in and not wanting to displease him.
His smile grew as he watched you and he leaned down once more to kiss your temple. “That’s my girl,” he murmured. His hand slipped down to your belly and gave it a rub. “My girls,” he corrected, before walking back into the kitchen.
Miles, who was still gagged and tied to his chair, glared over at you from the corner of the room. At some point before you came out of the bedroom earlier, Tom had righted his chair so now he could watch every single thing you and Tom did. You weren’t exactly sure what Tom was planning but you didn’t like it. You especially didn’t like that the man who had terrorized you for years was currently staring at you with pure hatred, as if he’d like to kill you, as if all of this was somehow your fault. In a way, you supposed it was because had you not let Tom into your life in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening. But then again, had Miles left you alone and not coming looking for you, Tom wouldn’t have snapped. At least, you don’t think he would have. And Cindy would still be alive.
“Fucking crazy bitch.” Your eyes snapped to Miles who was still scowling at you. Whatever he said was usually muffled by his gag but you could hear it clear as day. You frowned and went back to your food.
Tom reappeared just then and placed a bowl of cut up fruit in front of you.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
He gave you a nod, seeming pleased, until he noticed Miles glaring over at you. You watched the change happen within his expression and suddenly you knew you needed to intervene and quickly. Before he could move, you reached out and grabbed his hand, prompting him to look down at you.
“I need to get exercise. For the baby. Will you take me for a walk after I’m done?”
His eyes briefly softened while the rest of him did not. “Of course.” He dropped your hand and moved around the table, coming to a stop in front of Miles. “You keep looking at her like that and I’ll cut your eyes out and feed them to you,” he threatened with a menacing edge to his tone. “Don’t forget, the only reason you’re even still breathing is because of her.” Tom straightened up, a terrifying smirk on his face, before he punched MIles. You winced, dropping your fork to your plate.
Miles turned back to glare up at Tom, more blood seeping into his gag. “Fuck you, you piece of shit! Fuck you and that fucking crazy whore!” He yelled against the gag. Tom gave him one more punch for good measure, causing Miles to yell out in pain, before he walked away, that smirk still on his face. You watched as Tom sat down across from you and tucked into his own breakfast, seemingly unbothered by what just occurred. You quickly glanced over at Miles, seeing him still glaring but blood coming out of his broken nose.
“He doesn’t deserve your sympathy.”
You quickly looked back at Tom to find him watching you, not glaring so much but also not seeming pleased.
You gripped your fork tightly but forced yourself to keep a smooth expression. “It’s not sympathy, but pity. Pity that he doesn’t know when to shut his mouth.” You turned a glare over on your husband who more than gladly returned it.
When you turned back to Tom, he was studying you, smirking. “Finish your breakfast, sweetheart, so I can show you my surprise and then we can go for that walk.”
You did as he instructed, digging into the fruit, not wanting to displease him any further. Thankfully, though, he seemed to be mollified, for now.
You stared around you in horror, your knees feeling weak. You held onto the wall for support.
Tom had taken your hand and led you to a small room in the back of the cabin that you had no idea existed, near the bedroom you had spent the night in. He smiled at you and told you to shut your eyes when you arrived at the closed door. You did as he instructed, not wanting to make him angry. He opened the door, led you into the room with his hands over your eyes, and then asked if you were ready. You nodded and he dropped his hands as you opened your eyes and looked around you, your jaw dropping.
“Surprise,” he crowed. “What do you think?”
You were thinking you were going to be sick. You were staring at an exact replica of the nursery you and Tom had put together back in your house, right down to the crib sheet, mobile, paint colors, and night light. Everything you had purchased for your nursery, he had obviously gone and bought a double of to place here. You even spotted the same rocking chair in the corner, the same changing table, and the same toys and books you’d decorated the room with. The same stuffed animals sat in the crib. Even a double of the breast pump machine you’d bought was sitting on the changing table.
“What do you think?” Tom asked happily as he glanced around. “Is it just like the one we put together back at your place?”
You robotically walked to the changing table, opening the cabinets underneath, and you saw the same outfits you’d bought, folded and arranged in the exact same way. You held a hand to your mouth; you felt the urge to scream but you couldn’t let it out. You started to shake. How long had he been planning this? To kidnap you and your baby and bring you both here?
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said from behind you, forcing you to tense up and drop your hand, schooling your features before you turned to look up at him. He was watching you worriedly. “I only did this as a back-up. In case we ever had to come out here. If that bastard out there ever tracked you down and we had to leave quickly, I wanted to make sure you and our daughter had everything you needed.”
Our daughter. It felt like you were falling into an endless void and you would never wake up from this nightmare. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You managed to ask.
He framed your face with his hands. “I didn’t want to worry you. And I figured it would be a nice surprise if we ever did have to come here. A little piece of home.” He gave you a soft smile. “Do you like it?”
You nodded, not sure what else to do, not able to say anything right then. He grinned and kissed you, happy that you liked the surprise. You thought you’d been in trouble before when he tied you up and brought you out here where no one could hear you scream. Now, you realized, you were in so much more trouble than you’d even imagined.
Tom held your hand as you both walked the property. Thoughts were racing through your mind but you did your best to pay attention to every inch of the land that he took you to.
“You’ve been quiet.” If you closed your eyes, you could swear you could hear the Tom that had become your friend and confidante over the months you’d worked on your house together.
“Just…overwhelmed. And tired.”
Tom stopped in his tracks and your heart rate picked up, worried you had somehow said something wrong.
He turned to you, staring into your eyes, a layer of concern shadowing his expression. “I know this has been a lot and it’s an adjustment. But I promise you, Y/N, all I want is for our family to be together. Without having to worry about sick fucks like the one in there,” He inclined his head back towards the cabin. “Who want to threaten that, who want to hurt you.”
Tears began to well up in your eyes. “And Cindy?”
His jaw tightened and he looked away. “She wasn’t your friend.”
“She was,” you choked out. “And she was a good one.”
His gaze snapped back to yours and he lifted his free hand to your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “No, she wasn’t, sweetheart. How do you think he found you?”
You shook your head, shaking a few tears loose. No, you refused to believe it. He was just trying to trick you into believing it so you would see things his way. “No. She wouldn’t do that. No.”
Tom wiped your tears away and you could see pity staring back at you. For a cold-blooded killer, it threw you for a loop that he could feel anything like pity or worry for you or concern for the baby or any other emotion besides anger, jealousy, and hatred. “When he showed up in her office, he asked where you were and she told him, point blank. No hesitation, just ‘here’s the address’. He even admitted it.”
“No, he lies. He probably showed up in uniform and that’s why she—”
“She knew better. You told her that was a possibility, you told her his name so she could be on the lookout. And still, she didn’t think twice about it and sent him over to find you.”
“No, she would’ve called me to warn me if that happened, if she had no choice. Maybe that’s why she was there…to warn me.”
He gave you a look. “She wasn’t your friend, Y/N. She gossiped about you behind your back. She came onto me at the Christmas party, though I had gone there with you.”
That revelation surprised you but honestly, you didn’t know what was up or down anymore, never mind the truth. “We went as friends. We weren’t together then.”
“She knew I liked you, that I wanted to be with you.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against the corner of your mouth.
You waited until he straightened back up. “That’s still no reason to kill her,” you gritted out, a tear rolling down your cheek.
He looked at you sadly, wiping the tear away. “I know.”
Your brows drew together in confusion. You hadn’t expected that response.
Tom pressed a kiss to your forehead and tightened his grip on your hand. “It’s pretty cold out. Let’s get you back inside where you can get warm.”
You let him lead you back to the cabin, turning that last part of the conversation over and over in your mind. From the sound of it, he knew his killing of Cindy had been wrong. A spark of hope started up in your chest though you were afraid to trust it. He still had you and Miles captive here, after all.
That night, as he spooned you from behind in his bed, he was kissing your neck, his hands moving all over your body. You could feel his erection digging into your back. “I love you so much,” he murmured to your skin. “It’s just you and me, sweetheart. You and me. And our little girl.” He placed his hand on your belly, trailing his lips up to your jaw. You closed your eyes, tears rolling down your cheeks, and you tried to imagine the Tom who had first made love to you nearly a month ago, who had sweetly kissed your baby bump every time he left the house and every time he came home. You held onto that Tom in your mind as he undressed you, then himself, probed you to make sure you were ready, and slid into you from behind, sighing happily into your neck as he did. He gently pumped his hips into yours and you could feel his hand making its way down between your legs, touching you in a similar way to how he had touched you last night, with complete tenderness. “We were meant to find each other,” he grunted into your ear as you arched your back and laid your head against his shoulder, reacting to his touch. “Be a family.” You tried to ignore his words and only focus on the pleasure coursing through you. He’d said these things to you before, back when he was your Tom, and you’d believed him.
You could hear the old bed creaking beneath you and you could feel his rhythm increasing, the moans and sweet whispers in your ear picking up in frequency. You knew he was close and you squeezed your eyes shut harder, trying to imagine you and him back in your bed at your house, as if nothing had changed between you. That image helped bring you closer to the edge and you reached an arm back, gripping his hair, crying out as you got even closer and closer. His pace increased and the headboard was knocking against the wall now, his groans sounding out in rapid succession, almost tangling with your cries in midair, joining together in an almost impassioned chorus. Lost in your fantasy and the sensations you were feeling, you moaned out, “Kiss me.” Tom’s mouth was on yours, his tongue sweeping against your own, and that pushed you over the edge. You stiffened and he swallowed your cries, grunting loudly himself and intertwining his fingers with yours, squeezing as he fell over his own edge. You were still shaking a couple of minutes later when he slipped out of you and gently rolled you onto your back as you caught your breath.
You could see him beaming down at you, still panting himself, his hair messy from your fingers, eyes bright and full of adoration for you. The same way he’d looked the other times you’d had sex in the past. It made your heart soar but also break mid-flight. “I love you.” You saw how much he meant it and your heart completely shattered.
Your eyes filled with tears as you reached a hand up to stroke his cheek. “I love you, too,” you whispered. And you did, this version of Tom, anyway. His smile grew and he laid his head down on your chest, sighing in contentment as you ran your fingers soothingly through his hair. Tears dripped down your cheeks as you held him, wondering how the universe could be so cruel as to send someone to you that loved you and your baby so much only to have him turn out to be a cold-blooded killer.
You woke up alone again, even groggier than the day before. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if Tom was actually drugging you in some way once you fell asleep. You had held him until he fell asleep himself last night but obviously, at some point, he must have woken up after you passed out.
You felt irritable, which was most likely a side effect of the grogginess you felt and possibly whatever Tom was drugging you with, as well as typical pregnancy hormones. It was so bad that you couldn’t even be bothered to drum up a smile for Tom who was looking at you like you were the best thing that existed on the planet. You took the food he gave you and dug in, not even thanking him like you usually made sure to do.
You felt off and when he spoke softly to you, “Eat, sweetheart, and then we’ll go for another walk”, you nearly snapped at him, demanding to know what he’d been drugging you with and why. You’d only just held yourself back, reminding yourself you weren’t supposed to say or do anything that would anger him.
Miles, though, was fair game.
He had called you names, though muffled by the gag, the minute Tom stepped out of the room. You ignored him as best you could, though it still got under your skin. Who the hell was he to sit there and call you things like “whore” and “slut”? Even if he had heard you and Tom together last night? Was he so stupid that he didn’t realize the predicament he was in, that you all were in? Had Tom’s threats and beatings not made it clear enough? When Tom got up to get you more decaffeinated tea, Miles threw more insults your way and you decided, yes, he really was that stupid. Nothing you hadn’t already known, you supposed.
Tom placed the tea in front of you and you gave him a nod. His brows drew together for a moment before he smoothed them out, taking his seat once more. He glanced between you and Miles. “Everything okay?”
“Terrific,” you snapped. It didn’t hit you until you said it what you had done. You quickly glanced up at Tom who didn’t look displeased at your attitude (thankfully) but was studying you intently. “Sorry,” you offered more gently. “I’m not having a good morning.”
He nodded, his brows still drawn together. “Well, finish up and we’ll get out of here for a while, stretch our legs, and get some fresh air.” He gave you a patient and understanding smile.
You gave him a wan smile in return, realizing how lucky you were that he was being so understanding and hadn’t gotten angry with you. You were picking up the plastic butter knife to spread jam on your toast when Miles said something nasty to you both, once again muffled by his gag.
At that point, you’d had enough. You dropped the knife and pounded the table with your fist, making the plates shake. “Shut. Up!” You yelled over at him. He scowled at you but did indeed shut up. You realized what you’d done and you worriedly glanced back at Tom. His eyes were flicking back and forth between you and Miles before getting to his feet. Your heart leapt into your throat. Oh no. Now you’d done it.
He made his way over to you, glaring at Miles as he did. When he stopped in front of you, he held out his hand which you warily took. He pulled you to your feet and gripped your chin between his fingers. “I think we should go for that walk now. Okay?” You nodded, not exactly sure what was going to happen but you noticed him shooting a terrifying glare in Miles’ direction. You remembered you needed to keep your strength up so you picked up the piece of toast you had been intent on eating and took it with you as he led you to the door. He saw and chuckled, squeezing your hand, as he opened the screen door for you both to walk through.
“You feeling a little better?”
You turned to look at him, wondering how to answer that. Yes, you weren’t as edgy, but no, you didn’t exactly feel better. You finally settled on “A little.”
He gave you a hint of a smile and nodded, averting his gaze to the path in front of you.
After a minute, he spoke. “You know, if he’s becoming a problem, I can take care of it.”
You froze, stopping in your tracks, your eyes wide. This was exactly what you didn’t want.
He noticed you had stopped and glanced back at you over his shoulder with furrowed brows.
You didn’t want to anger him but maybe you were too tired, too scared, or too irritated — you couldn’t help but finally speak your mind. “I don’t want you to kill him.”
Instead of angry, he appeared confused as he spun around to fully face you. “Why? He’s obviously upsetting you, which isn’t good for the baby or you, he’s stinking up the place, he refuses to eat anything. Hell, he doesn’t even deserve to live after what he’s done to you. No one’s even going to miss the guy. Not to mention, it would keep you and our daughter safe... What’s the point of keeping him around?”
Tears started to blur your vision as you finally admitted the truth. “I can’t… I can’t kill someone, even him.”
Tom stared into your eyes before licking his lips and looking away. “That’s why I’m offering to do it.”
It terrified you to say this next part but you had to say it. “If this is going to work with us, as a family…you can’t kill anymore people, Tom.” His eyes snapped to yours and your heart began to pound harder in fear. “You can’t kill and I can’t order someone’s death. Even his.” Tears made their way down your face and his gaze softened a little, seeing them.
He reached up and wiped them away with his thumbs before pulling you into him, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of your head. “Okay,” he murmured to you. “Okay. We’ll figure something else out for him.” He embraced you tightly and you closed your eyes, relieved. “And then it’ll just be us, the three of us, our family.”
You nodded against him, though you secretly knew you still had to figure out a way to escape. Perhaps once you were able to figure out what to do with Miles, then that would leave just the two of you. And then either Tom would be forced to take you into town for supplies which gave you more of an opportunity to escape or get help, or he’d be forced to leave you here. Based on the two walks you had so far, you were starting to get to know the property. Even though there was nothing but woods surrounding you, perhaps you could make your way at least to the property line. From there, you could figure out your next move.
He released you, kissed you, and took your hand again to start heading back.
“And Tom?”
He glanced over at you.
You didn’t want to push your luck but since you had already spoken up about Miles and the killing, you were going to speak up about this, too. Especially since your child was at stake. “Whatever you’re drugging me with at night, you have to stop. It could be hurting the baby.”
He furrowed his brows again. “Sweetheart, I’m not drugging you. I told you, I would never do anything to hurt her. Or you. I would never put either of you at risk like that.”
You wanted to believe him but you also knew what you felt. “Then why do I feel so groggy when I wake up in the morning? And it’s gotten worse each time?”
He studied you, looking as if he wanted to say something, when a sudden realization dawned on his face. A smile crept along his face. “You’re probably tired because I’ve been keeping you up at night. You probably just need a good night’s rest, that’s all. I’ll tell you what, tonight you take a nice, hot shower, we’ll go to bed a little earlier, and we’ll just sleep. How does that sound?”
You didn’t want to appear too eager for him not to engage in any sexual activities with you so you just nodded and hugged his arm, whispering, “That sounds good, thank you.”
He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into him, leading you both back to the cabin. His smile turned sheepish. “Sorry, sweetheart. I just couldn’t resist you, but don’t worry, I promise to keep my hands to myself. Your rest is more important, especially for her.” He laid a hand over your bump, patting it gently, and you tried not to cringe under his arm.
Two weeks had passed and truth be told, you were surprised no one had come looking for you yet, considering you, Tom, and Miles were missing, you were pregnant, and Cindy’s dead body had been left in your house. Your due date was little more than a month away, and you were starting to worry you might have to deliver at the cabin if you weren’t found soon.
Miles was still with you both, alive, as cantankerous as ever. He eventually started to eat the small amounts of food Tom let him have when he realized Tom wasn’t going to kill him and he obviously wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He still threw insults at you every chance he got but for the most part, you ignored him to the best of your ability. If Tom overheard, which was rare, he beat the crap out of Miles until either you begged him to stop or Miles lost consciousness. You and Tom were still trying to figure out what to do with him, but short of taking him somewhere deep in the woods and dropping him off there with the hopes that a bear might get him, you didn’t really have any options. And since you asked Tom not to kill him, a hostage Miles remained.
Tom had kept his word and kept his hands to himself at night. He still spooned you, still kissed you and caressed your bump, but he let you sleep. You still woke up groggy sometimes, as if you hadn’t slept a wink, but it had gotten a little better. Tom blamed those mornings on the old mattress. He swore he’d buy a new one the next time he was in town (which thankfully was coming up soon). You had taken to showering before bed every night, hoping the hot water would relax your body enough that you would drift off into a deep, restful sleep. You had actually gotten used to Tom cuddling you and you no longer feared for your child’s life when he touched your belly. He talked to the baby sometimes, something you heard while you were falling asleep, and his tone was so gentle and loving and reverent, that you couldn’t help but think he really meant it when he said he wanted all of you to be a family. He had even taken to kissing the bump again throughout different parts of the day or if he had to go outside to chop wood. He cooked for you every day without complaint, though you’d offered to pitch in to help (hoping he would trust you completely and you could get access to knives and other cooking tools that could be weaponized at some point if needed). He’d given you a knowing smile and thanked you but told you that he was fine with the arrangement, he didn’t mind. You mentally cursed yourself at being so transparent but you were also thankful he hadn’t gotten angry.
For the most part, though, you’d settled into a sort of routine with Tom every day: breakfast, walk, you were free to move around the cabin as he chopped wood for an hour, he’d take you into the nursery to sit in the rocking chair for a bit to either go over possible baby names or to sit and read to the baby or to play music (he had gotten the same pair of fetal headphones you did), lunch, a nap he insisted you take each day to help you rest better while he fixed things up around the cabin, a free couple of hours to do whatever you wanted, dinner, another walk, shower, and then bed.
You were following this routine one such day when Miles appeared to have finally lost his mind altogether.
It was dinnertime and you had come into the main room with a book in your hand. When setting up the nursery here, Tom had bought the same books you had to prepare for the pregnancy. You were able to pick up where you left off in What To Expect When You’re Expecting. You sat down as Tom came in with a plate of carrots for you to snack on. He smiled when he saw your nose in the book, mindlessly reaching out for a carrot, and dropped a kiss on your head. “What chapter are you on?”
“Still on the eighth month,” you answered without looking at him, taking a bite out of the carrot.
“Mmm,” he hummed against your hair. “Maybe you’ll finish it by the time we eat. I’ve got about ten more minutes left and then we’re good to go.”
“That’s fine. I’ve got carrots to munch on and plenty to read in the meantime.” You held the book up in gesture.
He chuckled and dropped another kiss to your head before walking away. You immediately got back to reading.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tom loosen Miles’ gag and then shove two pieces of white bread in his mouth. “Here, dipshit.” He slammed a small plastic cup of water on the arm of his chair, spilling most of it and not really caring. “Enjoy.”
Tom left the room with a glare over his shoulder in Miles’ direction.
Miles spit out the bread and turned furious eyes on you. You ignored him, choosing to go back to your chapter.
“You stupid, crazy fucking whore.”
Your jaw tightened but you remained silent, picking up another carrot to snack on.
“You hear me? You’re so desperate for dick you’re playing house with that crazy fucker.”
You could feel yourself tense up but you simply turned the page.
“You’re a stupid fucking crazy whore and I always knew you were.”
You rolled your eyes. “Careful, Miles, you’re starting to sound like a broken record.”
That had been a mistake to say. A shark-like grin appeared on Miles’ face — well, as much as it could with his face beat to hell. “You want to hear something different? Alright, how about this? When I get outta here and I will get outta here, I’m going to kill that motherfucker right in front of you. I’m going to bash his skull in while you watch. Then when I’m done with him, I’m going to come for you.” You tried not to show it but you could feel an age-old fear creeping up on you. “Since you’re such a whore, I’m gonna use you like the whore you are, over and over again, until you’re crying and begging me to stop. And just like old times, I won’t.” You could feel the tremors starting up. “I’ll even fuck you right next to his corpse so you can cry all over his brains on the ground. And then when I’m finished with you, good and finished, I’m going to beat the hell out of you but not before I cut that baby out of you and strangle it with its own cord right in front of you. Then if you’re somehow still alive after all that, I’m gonna kill you. And I’m gonna get a medal for it. ‘Hero cop stops modern-day Bonnie and Clyde from continuing their killing spree.’ You just wait. The governor will be shaking my hand and I may even get a call from the goddamn President, thanking me for my service. I put down three rabid dogs, all for the price of one, the one I was tracking down in the first place. I’m gonna be a goddamn hero for this, for ripping you and your evil spawn from this world. How’s that for a new record, you crazy whore?”
A tear slipped down your cheek and he laughed.
“I should’ve fucking gotten rid of you when I had the chance. Now, I’ll have that chance and I’m going to enjoy it.” He laughed again.
You wiped your cheek just in time for Tom to walk in with a bow of mashed potatoes. You noticed that for all of Miles’ bravado a moment earlier, he sure got quiet when Tom walked into the room.
Tom placed the bowl down on the table. “Just give me five more minutes.” He glanced up and immediately knew something was off. “What’s wrong?”
You gave him a thin smile. “Nothing,” you assured him. “Looks like I’m not going to make it to the ninth month chapter after all.” You placed the book down; you had lost your appetite for both knowledge and for food. “I’m actually not feeling well so I think I’m going to go to bed early.”
He tilted his head, confused. “But you were feeling fine a few minutes ago. Was it the carrots? Or something else…?”
You shook your head, ignoring Miles’ chuckling under his breath. “I just need to lay down. I’m sorry, I know you worked hard on dinner. Can you save me some for tomorrow?”
Tom’s eyes darted to Miles, his jaw tightening. “Of course. Get some rest and feel better, sweetheart. I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thanks.” You turned and left the room, wincing when you heard Miles yelling out in pain presumably from Tom hitting him but you refused to turn back and look.
When you got out of the shower and dressed in the sleeveless maternity nightgown Tom had thought to buy for you, you wiped the condensation off the mirror with a hand and stared into it. You couldn’t believe the things Miles had said to you but then again it was Miles, so you could. A part of you wondered if Tom was right; would it be safer for you and your baby if Miles was gone for good? You shook the thought from your head, not even wanting to entertain it. No matter how horrific Miles was, no matter how dangerous, you weren’t a killer. Even if he was killed by some other means, you didn’t want to be the one responsible. You were better than that, a better person. You wouldn’t become like Miles and let him win.
You heard a soft knock on the door. “Y/N?”
You nervously licked your lips and went to open the door. You hoped Tom wasn’t upset with you for missing dinner. But when you opened it, all you saw was concern and worry staring back at you.
He ducked his head, meeting your eyes. “Are you feeling any better?”
You tried to smile but it probably came out as a grimace. “Yeah.”
Tom studied you for a moment and then held out his hand which looked remarkably clean considering what he had done to Miles recently. “I want to show you something.”
Thinking it might have to do with Miles, you started to shake your head. “No, I don’t—”
“It’s for the baby,” he soothed. “I have it right here on the bed.”
You let out a quiet breath of relief and took his hand. He kissed your forehead and led you over to the bed where a box sat on top. He urged you to get closer and take a look at it, releasing you.
You gazed down at the box, picking it up and looking it over. “A home fetal heart monitor?”
“Yeah.” He sat down on the bed, taking the box from you and opening it. “I know you haven’t been able to go for your usual checkup due to our…situation at the moment.” He pulled everything out and laid it on the bed. “I bought this long before we came here, in case we needed it. You said the baby is pretty active every day so I didn’t think it was needed. But, you know what, maybe it’s not a bad idea to check in on her. What do you say?”
You were honestly floored at the gesture and you wondered if he had gotten Miles to confess what he’d said or if he overheard again. Either way, you were touched. “Um…” You bit your lip, trying to keep from crying. Damn these pregnancy hormones sometimes. “Yeah.”
“Yeah?” He grinned.
“Yeah,” you laughed, a tear slipping out as you reached for the wand.
He read the instructions and you both figured out how to use it. He urged you to sit back against him as he lifted the hem of your nightgown over your belly. He applied the gel and you used the wand, moving it around until your baby’s heartbeat started to sound from the speaker. You couldn’t help but smile.
“There she is,” Tom whispered into your ear in awe. “There’s our little girl.”
You felt your eyes welling up again, joy and relief flooding through you as you listened to your baby’s steady heartbeat. You turned your head to look at Tom, seeing the same emotions reflecting back at you. “Thank you,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss him. Somehow he knew just what you needed. The louder and steadier your baby’s heartbeat was, the more it drowned out Miles’ words.
You felt completely at peace and able to drift off to sleep soon after, with Tom wrapped around you. Your baby was okay and she was going to be safe.
Perhaps Miles was right. Maybe you were kind of playing house with a “crazy fucker” as he claimed. But you’d take that crazy fucker over Miles anyday. That crazy fucker cared more about your child than he, the biological father, did. Tom cared about her, wanted her, and would do whatever it took to keep you both safe while Miles had threatened to hurt her, hurt you both. So yeah, you’d take the “crazy fucker” any day of the week.
A scream startled you awake. You sat up as best as you could, glancing around the dimly lit bedroom. You could see the first shafts of morning light peeking through the windows. You were alone in the bed. “Tom?” You called, scared when you didn’t see him. You didn’t know what you’d heard but you were frozen in terror.
Another pained scream erupted out of nowhere and it sounded like it was coming from outside. Miles’ words came back to you and you hurriedly got to your feet, realized you were nude (Tom must have taken your nightgown off to be skin on skin again; he liked that), and dressed. Your hair was still damp from your shower last night but you had no time to throw it up in a bun or ponytail. You felt sore and you noticed a few cuts on your fingers. The sight terrified you especially given how sore your body was and how you had woken up nude but Tom was nowhere to be found. Especially when you remembered Miles’ threats. “Tom?” You cried but you still got no answer.
You made your way to the main room and gasped when you saw blood in the corner where Miles had been, partially covered by a sheet. You noticed there was blood spatter all over the walls, in almost every nook and cranny. Some of it had even landed on the table, the opposing wall, and the area of floor you were about to step on. “No. No!” You weren’t sure if you were more scared of Tom at this moment, or for him. You belatedly realized he must have overheard Miles threatening you and the baby last night and that was definitely why he brought out the fetal monitor to assure you. You’d had such a sweet moment with it; how did you go from that to this within a matter of hours?
You ran out the door, the screen door slamming back against the house. You didn’t see anything or anyone in the distance. You heard the screaming again and it seemed like it was coming from the surrounding woods to your right.
“Tom!” You screamed.
You ran back inside, looking for anything you could use as a weapon, maneuvering as best you could with your stomach but not finding anything, and hurried back out to the porch. You had to stop Tom. Miles had been horrific to you and didn’t deserve your intervention but you couldn’t let this happen to him. He was a human being, a horrible disgusting human being, but a human being nonetheless. You were about to hurry down the stairs when a bloody Tom appeared in front of you, a pickaxe in his hand.
You froze, unsure if you should run back inside or if that would even make a difference. You held a hand over your mouth and your eyes filled with tears when you noticed something hanging from one side of the pickaxe’s blade that looked suspiciously organ-like.
He came to a stop in front of you, near the bottom of the stairs, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “Is it the baby?” He asked worriedly, panting.
You shook your head, biting your lip to keep from yelling in terror. You couldn’t keep the tears from spilling down your face, though.
He saw and his brows drew together until realization dawned upon his face. He dropped the pickaxe to the ground and spoke gently. “I’m okay, sweetheart. This isn’t my blood.”
Tom actually thought you were worried about him, that somehow Miles had gotten a hold of him like he’d threatened and was doing horrific, unspeakable things to him. A voice deep down told you to play along. “Will you please come inside then and let me clean you up?” You fought hard to keep the wobble out of your voice.
His eyes softened and he climbed the stairs to stand before you. The sight of so much blood made you want to vomit. You weren’t squeamish by any means but the amount of blood covering Tom from head to toe… If Miles wasn’t dead already, he soon would be.
Tom went to reach out a hand to your cheek but then saw the blood and thought better of it, dropping it to his side.
“Y-You promised,” you forced out.
“I did.”
“Why then? W-Why did you break it? We were…we were doing so well,” you sobbed out.
His jaw tightened but his eyes saddened. “We still are. Let me go finish…that. I’ll come back, clean up, and then we’ll talk.” He said it as if he was simply going to finish chopping firewood and then come back for lunch.
“Tom,” you gasped, trying to breathe through the sobs tearing out of you. “If you continue ro torture him, I can’t be with you.”
His brows furrowed again and you waited for the terrifying expression you’d seen all too often to make a reappearance. Instead, he looked more confused than ever. “I’m not torturing him, Y/N.”
“Yes, you are. I heard him screaming.”
His lips parted in shock and he went to reach out for you again. This time, you flinched and moved backwards on reflex. He dropped his hand and curled it into a fist. You were scared that you angered him but God, how could you live with yourself if you let him go continue killing Miles slowly and brutally?
“Sweetheart,” he spoke gently. “No one was screaming. Except you.”
“I know what I heard, Tom!” Was he seriously trying to gaslight you right now into believing you had been hearing things? The bloody pickaxe was still on the ground, with whatever attached it, for crying out loud. “It woke me up!”
His eyes softened then. “Miles was dead before I dragged him out here. You saw…inside…no one could have survived that.”
You felt like your heart stopped. The way he talked about murdering another human being so casually made your blood run cold.
He took another step closer and you took another step backwards. He held out a placating hand but all you could see was the blood caked on his skin. “Y/N, look at me.” You lifted your gaze to his and only then did you notice how badly you were shaking. “I need you to take some deep breaths and relax.”
“Relax?” You laughed. “Are you kidding me?”
“You need to stay calm for the baby.”
You huffed out a snort in disbelief but after a moment, you realized he was right. The last thing you needed right now was for labor to start early or for there to be any complications when you were this remote. You forced yourself to take deep breaths.
“Good.” He gave you a tiny smile. “Now, I need you to listen to me.”
You focused on your breathing, not wanting to listen to him but you had no choice.
“I need you to go inside and pack your things. There’s a bag under the bed you can put your clothes and the baby’s clothes in. When I’m done, I’ll come in, clean myself up, and get the rest of what we’ll need.”
Your jaw dropped. “You’re taking me somewhere else? Are you serious?” You felt like your mind was unraveling. “What about— What about the nursery?” You could care less about the nursery right now but it was what your mind grasped onto, trying to make sense of everything that was happening.
“We’ll take most of it with us. Don’t worry. I can recreate it in the new place. Quickly, too, before she comes.”
“Another remote cabin?” You snapped.
He shook his head. “A home. For us, for our family. There’s a swingset in the backyard and everything.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Just how long have you been planning this? First this cabin? Now a house? How long, Tom?” You demanded.
He seemed unsure how to answer but he said, “As long as I’ve had to. Now, please, go inside and pack. If you hear anything, just know I’m okay and he’s already dead. Alright?”
You kept focusing on your breathing, not answering him.
“I promise I’ll explain everything once we’re on the road.”
The road? Depending on which road he planned to take, there may be other cars on that road, places he needed to pull over for gas — people. You could possibly flag someone down for help or even make an escape attempt that might be successful. The road was good. It meant opportunity.
You took another deep breath and nodded, opening the screen door and walking inside, refusing to look back at Tom or the massacre-decorated corner of the main room.
You had packed everything Tom had told you to: your clothes, the baby clothes, your book, any necessities. After a while, Tom had come back, spent a few hours attempting to clean the blood from the main room which he urged you to keep the bedroom door shut for with the bedroom window open in case, jumped in the shower, and then urged you out the door. He packed everything else up into his truck. He’d even disassembled the crib and tied the rocking chair down securely in the truck bed. The changing table was being left behind as well as the cubbies he’d stored the books and toys in but everything else came with. He also managed to quickly pack a cooler of food and drinks, and took whatever he could from the cupboards. It was an odd sensation, standing by the truck as he did all of this, not offering to help. A part of you wanted to but the other part was still angry with him for killing Miles and breaking his promise to you. Another third smaller part was scared to death that you were about to share the same fate, or at least you would once the baby was born. Tom wanted your baby; that was crystal clear to you now as you noticed the larger percentage of what was packed had more to do with the baby than anything else. While he had told you he wanted you all to be a family, perhaps he was just waiting for you to give birth and then that would be it. For you.
You focused on maintaining your breathing and told yourself you would get away long before that could happen.
Once everything was packed up and the cabin was closed up, Tom opened the passenger door for you and helped you up into the seat. You wouldn’t have accepted his help if you thought you could get up there yourself but a very big belly tended to offset everything. He got into the driver seat, slipped a baseball cap on, and pulled away from what had been your temporary home for a few weeks.
It was about fifteen miles on the highway or so, with nary a car in sight, that you finally turned to Tom (who you had been ignoring this entire ride so far) and asked the question that had been sitting in the back of your brain. “You heard him last night, didn’t you?”
Tom turned a confused expression onto you.
“When he threatened me.”
His eyes hardened and his jaw clenched, turning back to the road ahead. “No. I didn’t. I knew he had probably said something to upset you but I didn’t know he did that. Had I, I would’ve…” He shook his head, angry, clenching a fist. “Makes sense, though.”
“What makes sense?”
He nervously licked his lips and reached over to pick up your hand. You went to yank it back but he tightened his grip and placed a kiss to your skin. “I promised I would tell you everything and I will.”
“Now seems like a good a time as any,” you seethed, still trying to pull your hand back but he wouldn’t let you.
“Let’s get some driving out of the way first. We’ve got a ways to go and I’d rather we put as much distance as we can between us and that cabin.”
“Yeah, I bet,” you muttered.
He seemed displeased with your reaction but he let your hand go and continued focusing on the road. And for the first time since this whole thing started, you couldn’t be bothered to give a damn. That worried you a bit because you should be trying to keep him happy, calm, trusting, and instead you were doing the exact opposite. But the anger and betrayal you felt seemed to be overriding everything at the moment.
“Hey. Y/N.”
You were being gently shaken awake and you opened your eyes, glancing all around you. You were still in the front seat of the truck and the sun was starting to go down. You turned to see Tom rubbing your shoulder.
“You need to use the bathroom, sweetheart?” He murmured.
Almost as if on cue, your bladder started to hurt. You nodded, rubbing your eyes.
“Okay.”
He jumped out of the truck and made his way over to your side. He opened your door and lifted you to the ground, grunting in the effort. Had he been someone else, you would’ve felt bad for the strain he was putting on his body in doing so.
You were at a rest stop where other cars surrounded you. You saw families milling about, couples, friends traveling together — people.
He grabbed your hand and gripped it tightly. “Stay close to me.” Of course he wanted you to stay close to him. He didn’t want you running off for help after all.
You let him lead you into the building as you tried to formulate a plan to escape him. He held you closer as he pushed his way through people waiting in line for the various food vendors available and brought you to the women’s bathroom. Thankfully, there was no line. You were just waiting to get in there and lock the door behind you. But as luck would have it, he opened the door himself and ducked his head in. When he determined it was clear, he urged you in ahead of him and locked you both inside.
“I’ll be right here if you need me.”
You glared at him and went to find a stall, realizing he’d already anticipated your plan. When you found one, you relieved the pangs of your bladder and tried to think of a new plan. You heard him checking the other stalls around you as a precaution.
Technically, there were a lot of people around. If you screamed in the middle of the crowd, he couldn’t do anything about it. You smiled to yourself. Yeah, you liked that plan.
You finished doing what you needed to do and exited the stall to wash your hands. While you were drying them, arms came around you, a hand tenderly placed against your belly, and you heard Tom whisper in your ear, “I love you. I love both of you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost either of you.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t know what he said. If I had, maybe I could’ve done something to keep this morning from happening.”
You refused to look at him, in the mirror or next to you. Too little, too late. “You broke your promise to me, Tom.”
“I didn’t break my promise to you, sweetheart.”
“Really?” You spun around, glaring up at him. “And what do you call this morning? Look, Miles was a despicable human being who did the most horrific things to me a long time ago and threatened to do even more horrific things if he got loose, but he was still a human being. You know what? It’s not even about him. I didn’t even ask you not to kill him for him, I asked you not to kill him for me. Not because I cared in the slightest what happened to him, but because I can’t be with someone who just goes around killing people because they can! I have a baby to think about, Tom! What if she cries too loudly or she doesn’t put her toys away when we tell her to? What then?”
With each word you said, he looked more and more pained. “I’m going to be a good father to her, Y/N. I’m really doing the best I can to keep…certain impulses in control. It’s not easy. Even when there are certain risky things going on that are tempting those impulses.”
“What?” What was he talking about?
“I didn’t want to have this conversation until we got to the house but if you need to hear it now so you know how much I love you and the baby, then so be it. Y/N, I—”
A loud pounding sounded on the door. “The door’s locked!” Some woman yelled.
“Shit,” he muttered before turning to look down at you pleadingly. “Look, I get that you can walk out that door, scream for help, I would have to run, and then you’d never see me again. But Christ, Y/N, I’m asking you to please give me a chance to explain. Just one. If you don’t want to be with me after that or allow me to be her dad,” He swallowed compulsively at that part. “Then you two can stay in the new house and I’ll move on. I promise.”
“Hey, some of us have to go to the bathroom, too! Open up!”
You gritted your teeth and glanced up at him skeptically. “Another promise?”
“I haven’t broken the last one I made to you yet.”
You shot him a look.
“Open up or we’re going to report you!”
“Report me to who?” You snapped at the door. “The bathroom police? Please.” You turned back to Tom who was smirking down at you. “What?”
He only smirked wider and offered you his hand. You realized you must definitely be nuts because after a moment, you took it. He leaned down to kiss your nose, whispering, “Thank you.”
A second later, he gripped your hand tightly. “No matter what, we keep our heads down and just get back to the truck. Deal?”
You gave him a hesitant nod and moved closer to his back, so he could break through the crowds for you both.
He unlocked the door and opened it, rushing past a couple of women standing sentry at the door. The loud one yelled at you as you passed, “Really? That’s what we were waiting on? Disgusting! I should report you both!”
You had the strongest urge to yell something back but Tom squeezed your hand and hurried out of there, ignoring any onlookers.
You were just about to step into the parking lot when you heard a feminine giggle to your right. You glanced over and saw a young woman flirting with a young guy. She was touching his jaw with the tip of her finger, and he was smirking down at her.
She giggled again and the images in front of you began to swim. Suddenly, another image overtook it.
You were back in your house, at the top of the stairs, watching as your friend Cindy was all smiles at Tom. He was coming down off of the ladder from installing the light at the top of the foyer. He gave her a polite smile and when she asked where you were, he said you were upstairs resting, the baby had been really active that morning.
Cindy watched as he wiped his hands on a rag and she sidled up to him. “Tom, what are you doing? Playing house with the new weird pregnant girl who won’t tell anyone where she’s from, and stepping in as Daddy? It doesn’t suit you. You’re young and strong and full of life. Don’t let her suck it out of you.” Your grip on the railing tightened.
Tom had politely pushed her away. “I love her, Cindy. I love them both. They’re my life. Now, if you can’t accept that or even speak nicely about her in her own home, then I think it’s time for you to leave.” He gestured towards the door.
Cindy tried once more. “But, Tom, we had some fun times together, didn’t we? Wouldn’t you prefer that to whatever this is?” She gestured around the foyer in disgust.
“Yes, we did. And no, I don’t. Like I told you at the Christmas party, I’m not interested. So, please leave.”
“Ugh, fine. Call me when you get bored of the fake family routine.” She was walking towards the door finally. You could see Tom’s jaw tighten as he watched her go, his hands clenched in fists at his sides.
You quietly hurried down to the last few steps, plastering a big smile on your face. “Cindy, is that you?”
Tom’s gaze snapped over to you and Cindy spun on her heel with the biggest fake smile. “Y/N! I was just asking after you. Tom told me you were getting some rest so I figured I’d drop by later to see how you were doing.”
You made your way down the stairs, Tom holding out a hand to help you. You gave him a smile of thanks and laid a hand on your belly, rubbing. “Yeah, she was being a little overactive this morning and tired Mommy out.” You then placed your hands on your belly as if you were blocking the baby’s ears. “Usually happens after a great night of sex,” you said in a more conspiratorial tone.
Tom grinned down at you. “Damn right it does.” He pulled you to him, kissing you.
You chuckled against his lips, playfully pushing away from him, your cheeks warm. “Tom, we have company.” You inclined your head in Cindy’s direction who still had the fake smile going.
Tom shrugged. “She was just leaving.” He leaned in to kiss you again when you laughed and turned to let him kiss your cheek instead.
“Oh my word, you two are just too cute together. Like a Christmas card without all of the…Christmas,” Cindy let out in a laugh.
Tom moved and slipped his arms around you from behind, pressing kisses to your cheek as he rubbed at your belly.
“So, Cindy, what did you drop by for?” You asked, playfully slapping at Tom’s hand that was subtly moving above your belly. He snickered into your ear before nibbling on it.
“You know what, you seem a little busy right now, hun. I’ll drop by later so we can talk.”
You gave her a bright smile. “That’d be great. I’ll put coffee on for you and tea for me, and we’ll chat then.”
“Absolutely! See you then!” She wiggled her fingers in a goodbye and then was out the door.
Your smile dropped as soon as the door closed. Tom saw and placed his lips at your ear. “I take it you heard all of that before you came down?”
You turned a stone cold expression on him.
He sighed and laid his forehead against yours. “I love you and want to be with you. Only you. You know that.”
“But you’ve been with her?”
“It was only a couple of times, purely casual. It was done before you even came to town.”
You gripped his chin tightly. “Are you sure you want to give up fun times together and play Daddy?”
His brows drew together, studying you. “Yes. Sweetheart, if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t be here.”
Your expression softened and you released him. “You mean that?” You whispered.
He gave you a soft smile and kissed you. “We could be up in the mountains somewhere, just the three of us, and I’d be happy. So, yes, sweetheart, I mean it. We’re a family and nothing is going to threaten that. I promise.”
You hugged his arms around you and leaned back against him, relaxing and smiling. You really had no idea what you had done to deserve Tom coming into your life when he did.
Which is why you were so desperate to keep him with you, to keep your family together. When Cindy walked into your kitchen a few hours later, you were determined to lay down the law. To let her know that you overheard her earlier and while you appreciated her helping you find this house (and Tom by extension), she was no longer welcome in it. Instead, though, she ended up dead. She made a comment to you about Tom that was heavy with implication and before you knew it, you attacked her. Multiple stab wounds to the body after a smashed coffee pot over her head that caused third-degree burns. She just wouldn’t stop screaming.
Tom arrived back from a trip to the store and found you in the kitchen, still stabbing her long after she finally stopped screaming, his eyes wide. He wrestled you for the knife and tossed it before gripping your face and staring into your eyes. “Y/N, it’s me! Look at me! Y/N!”
You both heard your backdoor opening, and in walked your estranged husband who you had been running from. Miles’ eyes were wide as he took in the bloody scene in front of him and he whistled, chuckling. “Always knew you were a crazy whore.” Tom immediately recognized him from the picture you’d shown him and he let you go, fury filling his expression.
Tom attacked him and they fought. Miles had somehow managed to best Tom at one point and he was about to go to town on him when you hit him with a frying pan. It gave Tom the opportunity he needed to get out from under him and before Miles could even try to attack you once he recovered, you held a knife to his throat as Tom grabbed another one, that same fury in his eyes.
“Ah, ah, ah,” you told Miles. “One move and you die.”
“You stupid bitch, I’ll fucking kill you,” he spit. You pressed the blade into his neck a little more.
Tom rushed him, ready to kill him when you held a hand up, stopping him. “No. He lives.” Tom glared up at you, unsure of why you were stopping him. “We take him with us, make him watch and hear everything, and we have some fun.” You gave Tom a wicked smile and he returned it, turning it down onto Miles who was bleeding from where you’d cut him. “Do you know a place?” You asked Tom.
“Yeah.” He glanced once again at Miles, his smile widening. “I know a place.”
You were suddenly at the cabin, waking up in the middle of the night. Not caring if you were dressed or not, you slipped out of Tom’s arms and padded into the main room. You stood there, watching as Miles slept, or if he was awake like he was the night you and Tom had sex, you stood there with a knife, fucking with his head. Would you kill him? Would you not? You made sure to let him know the child you carried was biologically his but he would never see it born. Tom was its father now and he was much more of a man than Miles, as he must have heard earlier. There was even one night where Tom woke up and found you in the kitchen in the dark, holding a knife over your belly, as if you were going to stab yourself. He knocked the knife out of your hand and asked what you were doing. You said it was Miles’ child and you wanted Miles out of you. Tom held your face in his hands and assured you that the child was his and his alone.
“No, it’s not,” you murmured.
“Yes, it is. Listen to me, that’s my little girl inside of you. She’s both of ours. He has nothing to do with it. Y/N, I don’t know if you can hear me, but you love this baby and you love me. You want our family to stay together. You told me that! Please! Don’t let her hurt our baby!”
“It’s our baby?” You asked in a tiny voice.
“Yes, sweetheart, it’s ours. Just ours.”
You allowed him to carry you to bed and hold you there, shushing you soothingly and rubbing your belly, using your hands with his.
And then came the night Miles threatened you. This time, you stood over him with the knife.
“You dumb whore, you don’t have it in you to kill me. You won’t even let your crazy boy toy do it.”
“Yeah, because I want to be the one to do it.” A big smile spread across your face and you slashed at his cheek, making him curse.
“Go ahead then! Even if you kill me, you’ll never be rid of me. I’ll always be a part of you, inside you, in that kid. Know that, you stupid bitch. I should’ve fucking killed you when I had the chance!”
You started slicing and then forcefully stabbing and never really stopped. You took pieces off of him (including what could be construed as what he thought was his manhood) and he screamed, and screamed, and screamed. Tom woke up when the screaming started but you didn’t stop. He tried to get you to, telling you he would take care of the rest for you, that he didn’t want you to hurt yourself or the baby, but you told him no, you wanted to do this yourself. You’d earned it. Instead, he stood there, waiting, in case you needed him. He nervously watched as you took Miles apart, his eyes repeatedly flickering to your stomach. At one point, though, you could have sworn you noticed a faint smirk on Tom’s face when Miles screamed particularly loudly and his eyes were hard but proud. Only when you were done, though Miles had been dead for a while by this point, did you turn to go back to the room. Tom stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.
“Are you hurt?” You shook your head. “Our baby?” Another shake. He let out a huge sigh of relief. “Why don’t you go take a shower and then get into bed? I’ll clean this up.”
“Thanks, baby,” you’d whispered, gripping his face and lifting up on your toes to kiss him. You left Miles’ blood all over his cheeks but he still looked at you with that same reverence he always had. Once you were out of the shower, he was there to run clean hands over your belly, checking for any injuries but not finding any. You’d smiled and kissed him, not caring about the dried blood on his face when you’d crawled onto his lap and urged him to take off his shirt.
You saw more flashing Images of you in his lap, arching your head up in pleasure, him kissing down the column of your neck, some of the blood from his face transferring onto your skin.
The screams and moans echoed in your ear as you came back to yourself. You felt as if you were losing your balance and you started to fall until Tom caught you in time.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
You shook your head, not looking at him, tears streaming down your face.
“Hey, she alright, man?”
“You need me to call for an ambulance?”
“No,” Tom assured the onlookers. “Thank you but she’s fine. She has low blood sugar and this happens when she forgets to eat. Let me get her back to the car so I can give her a juice box. Thank you but she’s okay.”
He lifted you in his arms, grunting, and slowly began the trek to the truck. “I thought we had a deal, sweetheart. But you’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’m not gonna leave you or our little girl behind at a rest stop. Not happening.”
‘Tom, I… I killed them,” you sobbed, staring up at the sky.
He stopped short for a second but then kept moving. “Shhh. Just hang on, sweetheart. We’re almost there.”
“I-I-I killed them.” You started to break apart. “I even threatened my baby.”
Tom picked up speed slightly and did his best to get you both back to the truck. Once there and he had you in the passenger seat, you were already hyperventilating. He gripped your face and forced you to meet his eyes. “Sweetheart, we need to get your breathing under control. Let’s slow it down together, okay?” He took your hand and placed it on his chest and he placed a hand on your chest. “Follow me.”
He eventually got you to calm down a little, taking nice deep and even breaths, but it wasn’t enough to make you forget what you had seen, what you had done. You thought back to what you had said to Tom. “I can’t be with someone who just goes around killing people because they can!” “If this is going to work with us, as a family…you can’t kill anymore people, Tom.” You’d blamed him for Cindy’s and Miles’ deaths!
“What do you say we go someplace and have that talk now?”
You nodded, more tears falling down your face at the action. He wiped your cheeks with his thumbs and kissed you before settling you into your seat. Within two minutes, you were back on the road again, his hand in yours, and you stared blankly out the window. You were a killer and Tom, even your own baby — they weren’t safe.
“I’m so sorry, Tom.”
He turned an inquisitive gaze on you.
“I blamed you when it was me.” You wiped a tear away. “I’m sorry.”
You both were sitting at a picnic table in a nice parking area off the shoulder of the highway that he had managed to find. Thankfully, no one was really around. The stars beginning to come out might have something to do with that.
He took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers, kissing your skin. “I knew why you were saying it. You didn’t remember what you’d done. Truthfully, I didn’t want you to remember it.”
“It’s no excuse,” you choked out. “And my baby…” Your eyes welled up again. “Even she’s not safe with me.”
He cupped your chin with his free hand and turned you to look at him. “Yes, she is. Your ex was the trigger. Now that he’s gone, that lessens the trigger.”
“But what if she looks like him? Or sounds like him? Or what if she does something like Cindy did and says something to trigger me? Or what if like I told you, she cries too loudly or doesn’t put her toys away? She’s not safe.” Your eyes hurt from how much crying you’d been doing, you were surprised there were any tears left, but there were. You cried over Cindy. Sure, you didn’t care for her after overhearing her that day and finding out she’d been with Tom, only teasing you about his supposed crush on you because she never thought he’d give you the time of day and it allowed her to tease and flirt with him as well. But she didn’t deserve to die over it and certainly not like that. You didn’t cry too much over Miles but what you’d done. No human life deserved to be taken the way you had taken his. But you cried the most over what you’d almost done to your baby, what it meant, and how you’d have to let her go once she was born — if she was born.
“Listen to me, I’m going to keep you both safe, okay? Just like I promised.”
“And you,” you sobbed. “Why would you want to be with a murderer? A cold-blooded killer like me? What if I’d killed you? Or what if I do kill you? Tom, what I’ve done is bad enough but if I did something to you, I don’t think I’d ever come back from that. Or if I did something to my baby.”
He pulled you into his arms and you cried against his shirt. He moved in and gently nuzzled you despite the wetness and sniffling. “Because I know what it’s like.”
“What are you talking about, you know what’s like? Fearing going to sleep that you may not wake up from because your significant other might kill you? I know all too well what that’s like and I don’t want that for you.”
His jaw tightened but he shook his head, bumping his nose gently into yours. “No. I mean, I know what it’s like to have a trigger and not remember what I’ve done half the time, while leaving bodies trailing behind me.”
You hiccuped and pulled back to look at him. “What do you mean?”
He placed his forehead against yours. “Remember I never wanted to talk about my past?”
You nodded. “Yeah, you said it was too painful and I didn’t want to push.”
Tom let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. But I’m going to tell you everything, even when you don’t want to hear certain parts. I don’t remember a lot but I’ll tell you what I can. And I’m only going to gloss over my trigger, not go into full detail. I’m sure it would be fine, but I don’t want to even risk it. Okay?”
You took in a ragged inhale and buried your fingers into his shirt. “Okay.”
He smiled at you reassuringly and tenderly brushed hair out of your face. “Okay.”
Tom kept an eye on you while you slept, hugging onto his arm. Today was a big day for you in various ways and he wasn’t quite sure if you’d be triggered again.
He’d been completely honest with you, opening up to you about Harry and how trauma led to this other identity he had no control of. Truthfully, he’d been scared to even mention the name, afraid it would draw the other side of him out. During this whole time with you, from him finding you stabbing Cindy to death in your kitchen to now, he’d felt as if Harry was fighting to come to the surface and join in the fray. Of course, that was something the therapists he’d seen had told him wasn’t possible, but even burying Miles’ mutilated corpse and using the pickaxe again felt as if he were approaching a very dangerous line.
At some point after Harmony, he wasn’t quite sure how long, but he was in control again and Harry was nowhere to be found. He had a healing bullet wound as well as other scrapes on his head and face. He knew he could never go back to Harmony or even be Tom Hanniger again (especially after one internet search on a library computer), so he was forced to become someone else: a different Tom. He probably should have changed his first name, too, but he already had another identity waiting in the wings to take over again, he didn’t want another one he needed to worry about becoming, too. Even if it was only for paperwork reasons.
He moved to a new small town, far away from his old life, and began again. He stayed mostly to himself, kept under the radar as much as he could. He was able to find work, doing small odd jobs at first, and then finding work in basically being a handyman of sorts. He had gotten to know the townspeople that way as well as the town itself. He’d even sought help from a local therapist in the next town over whose resume boasted they specialized in DID. There, the therapist was able to help him understand the disorder better than any doctors in the institution had. He learned about triggers, working to reduce switches (as they called it), and how to overall take control of his life in more ways than one. He had been doing much better and there were no instances where he felt like he was missing time or there was something on the edge of his memories that he couldn’t quite remember.
And then he’d met you, completely by accident. He’d bumped into you in the hardware store, literally. You’d dropped what had been in your hands and seeing the slim curve of your stomach, he’d immediately crouched down to pick them up for you. He locked eyes with you and he could swear you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. He cleared his throat when he realized he’d been staring at you a little too long. He immediately apologized for bumping into you and you apologized, too. He noted what you had in your hand: spackle.
“If you don’t mind me asking, you’re not planning on doing any painting, are you?”
You glanced at the container in your hands. “Oh, this? Oh no. I can’t.” You gestured to your stomach. “But I read on a forum online that spackling is okay.”
He arched a brow at you. “Forum online?”
Your cheeks turned adorably pink. “Yeah,” you defended. “As long as it doesn’t have high VOC’s I think it said, I should be fine. Plus, I plan to wear a mask and open all the windows, air it out properly.”
“Uh huh,” he chuckled. At your frown, he held up a placating hand. “Sorry, I just…can’t your husband or boyfriend do that for you? So you don’t have to?”
Your cheeks turned red now. “Are you saying that I can’t do what they can?” You challenged.
“Nope. I’m implying that there are certain things you shouldn’t be doing while pregnant. That’s all.” You went to say something else but he cut you off. “I’m the local handyman, a fixer upper basically. If your other half is too busy, I can swing by and help you out.”
“Oh.”
He handed you his card, noting no ring sitting on your finger. That answered that particular question. “My cell phone number’s on there so call me anytime, day or night, and I’ll come by. Are you new in town?”
You studied his card. “Is it that obvious?”
He chuckled and held out a hand. “I’m Tom.”
You took it, smiling, and shook it. “Y/N.” Not only did he suddenly love that name but he loved the feel of your soft skin against his. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too.”
You ended up calling him two days later to ask him about the spackling and his rates. Ever since your conversation with him in the store, you couldn’t get what he said out of your head and now you were worried the online forum was wrong. What he didn’t tell you is that he couldn’t get your conversation with him out of his head, but for a whole other reason.
After an agreed rate over the phone (he’d given you a break, calling it the newcomer discount so you wouldn’t question it or feel badly), he stopped by your house and you showed him where you needed the spackling done. There was a large crack in one of the walls of the living room high up. He couldn’t imagine you on a ladder with a mask trying to get this crack spackled — more like he didn’t want to imagine it. Cindy had been there, shooting him flirtatious smiles every time you turned your back, which he ignored. Cindy had been fun a time or two but he wasn’t interested in anything more than that, something he’d already told her long before he met you. Besides, he’d trade twenty of those flirtatious smiles for one of your warm genuine ones anyday. He’d thought you very pretty in the store but now he knew he’d been wrong; you were beautiful. And living all alone in this big, old house. It seemed like a crime to him though he was a little happy that you were single.
He got vibes early on that there was something in your past that you were running from. You were jumpy, slow to trust, and he could tell it took a little bit for you to feel comfortable with him alone in the house. He didn’t push and he appreciated your not pushing either when it came to his own past. But he liked being around you and he definitely liked you. It took some time but you eventually got to know one another and he was helping you slowly restore your home (mostly for free at this point, what he referred to as the friend rate which made you smile and shake your head, still insisting on paying him which he would refuse). You never talked about who the father of your baby was or where he might be, but it was obvious you were going about things on your own. He admired you for that and he loved watching you walk around, lovingly rubbing your bump that was getting bigger each week.
And then, on New Year’s Eve, after circling each other for months, you kissed him. From then on, he was yours. Even when you opened up to him about your past, all he wanted to do was protect you and the baby, be good to you, and be there for you both. He loved you well before he said it, which was after you had said it first because he hadn’t wanted you to feel any pressure whatsoever. Soon enough, you both had started talking about the future — particularly, the very near future. Tom wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a parent or if he’d even be a good one but he knew one thing: he loved you and your little girl very much. He’d do anything for you two and that was good enough for him.
Then came the day Cindy made the fatal mistake of setting you off. He still wasn’t sure if it was what Cindy said in the foyer or if she said something else to you when she came by later, but something caused you to snap. Tom had returned from the hardware store and had been shocked to find you covered in blood, violently stabbing the woman who appeared to already be dead. You weren’t a violent person by nature. You two hardly ever argued and if you did, it was resolved within minutes. He’d never seen you argue with anyone else. Even when you got moody occasionally, sure, he knew to tiptoe around you, but you didn’t even get mean. So he had no idea where the hell this had come from. But before he could get through to you to find out if you and the baby were okay, your piece of shit ex showed up. That had been the first night Tom had felt Harry swimming dangerously close to the surface, waiting to take over. No matter what any therapist said; he knew Harry was there, he could feel him, doing his best to take over though Tom fought it. If Harry took over, he would kill every living being in the room, and that Tom would not allow to happen. Especially not when you and the baby were in the same room.
Tom let you make the call on your ex (even though he didn’t completely understand it) and got you out of there. Later that night, when you passed out, he’d checked you for injuries as well as the baby. He didn’t find any except some shallow cuts to your arms. He gently cleaned them and he was determined to keep a close eye on you. When you finally came to the next day, he’d had no choice but to tie you up much like your ex to wait and see what you would do. He noticed you were you again though you were looking fearfully at him. He hated to see it but he also knew it could only mean one thing: you hadn’t remembered what you did. He didn’t need to be a therapist to realize that you might possibly have the same situation going on that he did. When you accused him of killing Cindy, it confirmed it, though he wondered how you knew she was dead. He chalked it up to you starting to switch back and seeing the carnage before he’d been able to get you out of that house.
So while Tom wasn’t a fan of it, he dangerously walked the line between himself and who he knew Harry to be. Your ex got the worst of Harry’s qualities: the violence, the ruthlessness, and the fury. You got the lower end of a few displeased glares and the raised volume of his voice once or twice. He didn’t know what he was dealing with just yet, though he suspected, and he hoped if he kept you you, even if you were fearful of him, he’d be able to figure out how to help you.
He didn’t agree with keeping Miles alive, especially since Miles was a threat to you and your baby and he had also seen what you’d done to Cindy. It was better to take care of him before he became an even bigger problem. While Tom didn’t relish taking a life, and he didn’t want to wake up Harry, it was clear that Miles needed to go. It was obvious that he was a trigger for you.
While he had been confused at your claims of grogginess, it soon became clear why you were really tired. You’d worried Tom the nights he’d woken up in bed, alone, and found you either hovering over Miles, taunting him, or watching him sleep. You’d even insisted he sit Miles up from where he’d left him in the corner the first night so the asshole could watch and listen. Watch and listen to what Tom hadn’t been sure of but when you told him to make love to you the next night, to be loud while loving you, he got a pretty good idea on what the listen part was. The following morning, he realized you wanted Miles to watch what was happening before his very eyes: you were being well taken care of, you were creating a family, and you were loved. EVen though you didn’t remember it most days, he tried to do right by you — both of you. The other side of you hadn’t told him her name yet, but he was waiting for it. The switches were only too obvious now.
You’d scared the hell out of him, though, the night he found you holding a knife over your stomach. He had already been assuring you that he loved your baby and you, that you would be a family, that your little girl was his. After that, he stepped it up while also hiding all of the sharp objects and anything that could be used as a weapon against yourself (or him) all over the cabin. Each morning, you’d never remember these incidents, though you’d held clear conversations with him and sometimes your ex.
Then you’d brutally killed Miles that night, another night Harry had been simmering on the edge. As he watched you take your revenge, when you kissed him, covering him in blood, then making love to him — that had been the closest Harry had come to breaching the surface since the night Miles showed up in your kitchen. The only thing that kept Harry back, Tom believed, was the recurring thought of you and the baby.
Miles being dead forced him to move up his timeline. He had this cabin for a while, only bringing you once to show you around, in case he had to ever grab you and run if your ex showed up (though he didn’t tell you that because he didn’t want to worry you). That was why he had replicated the nursery down to every single detail. You had worked so hard on that nursery, you were so excited when it was finished, that he hated for you to lose it should you have to run. So he slipped up to the cabin a couple of days a week when you weren’t with him, and worked on getting it set up. He had even stocked the kitchen in case (only buying perishables on your second trip up there when you were truly on the run). He’d also made sure to put a down payment on a small house some ways away in case you both needed a fresh start elsewhere. And that was where he was driving you now.
He’d meant what he said, if you wanted him gone, he would be, but he hoped you’d keep him with you. He was already worried about your breakdown from earlier today and your constant worry for your baby’s safety. Not to mention, your ex had been a cop. While they would most likely never find his body, they would associate his disappearance with you and you would always be sought after. And since Tom had disappeared with you, they’d either think you killed him as well or that he’d helped. So he’d alway be sought after as well. That had been one of the reasons he wanted to get out of Dodge as soon as possible but also, he wanted you as far from your main trigger as possible. And he also wanted to get you help, the same help he’d gotten (though he’d have to find another therapist now). Though he was pretty sure the baby was safe, like he kept assuring you, it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion, an official one.
He glanced down at you, his eyes softening as he took you in. He loved you deeply and he wanted to be with you. He loved your baby and he wanted to be there for her, stepping in as her dad if you’d let him like you had both originally planned. You had one more month to go until the baby arrived. He hoped this new house, this new life he was bringing you to made you happy. He was going to set up the nursery again for you and this time you’d have a real living room and dining room. The kitchen wouldn’t be so cramped or outdated and you would have a nice, comfortable mattress to sleep on at night. It may not be what your old house was but he would still make it as nice as possible for you. Once he sorted out your paperwork through an old contact of his, you would have access to doctors, the hospital — whatever you needed. The house had a nice backyard for kids to run and play in and the swingset came with the deal which was nice. Tom had even checked to make sure it was in a good school district and a safe neighborhood.
You moved in your sleep, cuddling his arm more and murmuring something he couldn’t make out. He smiled down at you and leaned over to drop a kiss onto your head before glancing back at the road.
He was going to take care of you. Both of you. And the baby. He would keep you all safe. Just like he’d promised.
dividers by @firefly-graphics
#tom hanniger x reader#tom hanniger x female reader#tom hanniger fanfiction#tom hanniger x y/n#thebiggerbear writes#sleep i'll keep you safe
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Do think I’m your babygirl? I think the fuck not.
Pairing/au: Joel Miller x afab!reader, no outbreak
Words count: 4095
Rating: +18, NSFW, minors please don’t interact
Warnings/Tags: pov second person, smut with very little plot, angst, casual sex, no use of y/n, reader is described having breasts and vagina and wearing a dress and heels, no other description of her is given, reader’s thoughts in italics, mention of infidelity, swearing, pet names (babygirl, good boy, baby, princess), reader is bad at feelings (she has her reasons though), soft!Joel, brief mention of Sarah, a lot of kissing, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), unprotected p in v (reader is on the pill but still, do better irl, please!), reverse cowgirl, balls grabbing, a little of bit of scolding during sex 😈, plot twist, neck kissing, nipples play, teasing… I think it’s all? If I realize I forgot something I'll add it right away.
A/N: First of all, if you happened to read something similar but badly written on AO3 don't worry, it's still me, no one stole anything from me and I didn't steal anything from anyone lol
I've been wanting to rewrite this for a long time and I think I'm pretty happy with how it came out this time. I really hope you like it too. As always, English is not my first language, I don't have beta and I finished writing it last night at 3am (ops, I did it again!), so please forgive me if you find any mistakes.
To anyone reading this, thank you for your time! I added a brief A/N at the end, see you there!
“Should we get out of here?” he whispers in your ear and you nod “where?”
“My house”
You give him a quick kiss on the lips agreeing “okay”.
You just met him but he’s the most handsome man to ever approach you in a bar so you don’t care.
You’ve already been the good girl, the one to introduce to someone’s parents, the one who’s always kind and modest, who never says a word too much and does everything in her power to make her man happy.
Turns out it didn’t do you any good.
You were engaged, a year ago.
You and Mark had the whole plan.
The wedding, a house with a white picket fence, a nice yard, a dog, a big family.
It was all decided, until you found out he was cheating on you with one of his coworkers.
All those “babygirl, I’m going to be late”, “babygirl, don’t wait for me for dinner, that asshole of my boss gave me a ton more paperwork to deal with”, “babygirl, tell John I’m sorry I couldn’t come to his party today but I still have a million things to do here at the office”, “I miss you, I wish I didn’t have to work so much” texts…all bullshit.
One day you came home early from a work trip and found him on the couch of the house you had rented and where you had lived together for two years with his dick stuck in his colleague’s pussy.
What a piece of shit.
You spent four years of your life with him and yet it felt like you had never really known him. You wondered how he had managed to lie so well, for so long, without even flinching.
You cried, you screamed as he made up some lame excuse to justify himself, you wondered how you had wasted all those years with someone like that. How come you hadn't noticed before how fake and manipulative he was? How come you hadn't noticed that every time you argued he tried to make you feel guilty even though he was the one who was completely in the wrong?
Oh yeah, you were in love. Blind, dazed, completely drunk with love.
Love that chews you up and spits you out.
What a huge scam.
Never again, you thought.
Mark could have gone to hell with his colleague, you were done.
You would no longer let feelings get the better of you.
Sure, men were still nice. When they were quiet and fucked you good and then went back home, no strings attached.
He says his name is Joel.
You put a finger over his mouth to silence him when he tries to add his last name. “I don’t need it,” you tell him.
“Whatever you say, beautiful,” he replies.
His voice is definitely a plus. Deep, husky, charming. It goes straight to your cunt.
Even his beard brushing your cheek as he speaks in your ear to make himself heard over the chaos of the bar isn’t bad at all.
A small talk later you decide he is the perfect one night stand.
He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a gray T-shirt with a plaid shirt over it.
His hand is wrapped around your waist in a delicious way, just above your hip. Big, expert hand. His brown eyes are staring at you, intense and piercing. Chocolate eyes, and you've always liked chocolate.
His plushy lips curve into a smirk when you say “let’s go cowboy, it’s time to show me what you got”
He chuckles, reaching down and squeezing your butt.
“After you, princess”
You roll your eyes at the pet name but he’s too gorgeous to back down.
He walks you to his pick up truck, in the parking lot.
He drives to a nice neighborhood, full of small houses with well-kept yards and safe streets where you imagine kids riding bikes and playing softball. The contrast between him and what’s around you makes you laugh. Joel doesn’t seem like a friendly neighbor, a candidate for trick-or-treating on Halloween, or the life of the block parties. He seems distant, a man of few words, a grouch. Which is perfect as far as you are concerned. You had stopped caring about men’s chatter.
When you were talking at the bar you noticed that his hands are calloused, rough, you were about to ask him what job he did but you decided you weren't interested.
Who cares, this guy will be out of my life after tonight.
You look at his profile in the truck, his expression when you put your hand on his thigh while he’s driving, his lips that twitch slightly, his Adam’s apple that jump in his throat, his hand that grips the steering wheel a little tighter. Really, truly, delicious.
You like him. His thick raven hair with just a few streaks of gray, his high forehead, his aquiline nose, his strong jaw. Your best friend sent you a tiktok a while ago about her favorite actor with a little song that said Girl dinner playing in the background. Watching Joel in the car you think of that. Except he isn’t just dinner but a six-course meal at a fancy restaurant.
By now your opinion of men is that they are all assholes and cheaters and the guys you met after Mark only supported that theory.
When you met someone cute your new philosophy was legs open, heart closed.
You wouldn't have opened your heart for Joel, but your legs yes, very willingly.
He parks in front of a cute little house, with a rose bush climbing up a trellis to one side and an impeccable lawn.
A small porch with a rocking chair and pots of geraniums complete the picture. “Jesus,” you think “This guy and his house have nothing to do with each other”
Joel has a worn-out, 90s rock star look in a flannel shirt and combat boots, a guy like him could have lived in a shitty loft with a mattress on the floor and wooden crates for nightstands.
“Here we are, princess” he says. He got out of the pick up and come to open the door for you.
“Quaint neighborhood,” you observe.
“See, I’m unmarried but I have a daughter” You stop him right away. ��Nah, too much information.”
He has a daughter. You didn’t expect that either. And you don’t want to know, you don’t want to know a damn thing about him other than how good he fucks.
“Okay” he mutters, shrugging. He seems a little confused by all your restrictions but it is essential for you to keep your distance.
Knowing this already bothers you, you should have taken him to some motel instead of his house. He has a daughter, so he's a responsible family man? A guy who never does things like pick up a stranger in a bar? What if he hasn't gotten laid since Bush was president?
You don’t have time to waste on foreplay and cuddles, he’s not the “let’s talk first” type, is he? He doesn't seem like it but at this point you're not sure of anything anymore.
You enter his house and look around. It's a nice place, comfortable, simply furnished, there's too much brown around for your taste but it's okay.
You don't have a chance to process the photos hanging on the wall and scattered around on the tables and bookshelves before he pins you against the wall and kisses you.
It's a hungry, sloppy, passionate kiss, his lips moving over yours as if he wanted to devour you in one bite.
“Great job” you think, at least you were right about something, he is a man who doesn't waste time on ceremony.
His tongue slides warm into your mouth and it tastes like whiskey, his hands run over your body, caressing you.
First the neck, tightening slightly against your throat, then on your shoulders where he slides the straps of your dress. Then on your chest, to pull down the fabric just enough to uncover your bra. He cups one of your breast with his hand, squeezing it. He pulls down the bra and uncovers your already hard nipples. He leaves a trail of kisses and small bites on your jaw and all the way down the column of your neck, until he reaches your chest taking one of your buds into his mouth, you feel the warmth of his tongue and lips, licking greedily at it and then sucking it slowly, his beard tickling on your skin.
Fuck, this guy knows what he's doing.
You mentally apologize to him for doubting it, as you throw away your heels, kicking them to the floor.
You moan loudly as his heavy hand lifts the hem of your dress and covers your entire pussy. He presses hard on your clit and your body tenses like a violin string, you arch your back seeking more friction. He places his other hand on your hip, caging you between him and the wall. He continues to kiss you, while he dip in your slit through the now completely soggy fabric.
He grunts in your ear “so fucking great mmm pussy is dripping on my floor, isn’t she?”
You don't even have the energy to cringe about him using pronouns for your cunt as he pulls your panties aside and dip two fingers into your slit, moving up towards your clit, rubbing it.
His eyes are settled in yours, you feel hypnotized by his gaze, so overwhelming and beautiful. It pierces you to the wall.
His fingers stroke your clit in small circles, slowly and then faster, applying pressure every now and then. His smile widens as he watches you needily and hotly arch into his palm.
“Yeah, you like that, huh?”
You desperately clench around his thick fingers when he slides his index and middle into your hole. When he begins to slowly sink inside you you feel like you can’t hold his gaze anymore, it’s almost like he’s digging into your soul, your head crush into the crook of his neck and your arm tightens around his shoulders.
Your brain is completely clouded with pleasure and its scent, wood and leather with a fresh clean undertone. He smells so good. It’s intoxicating.
Your dress is bunched up around your waist, just enough to allow his hands to feast on you.
His fingers keeps getting in and out of you reaching your most sensitive spot while his other hand goes back on your tit, playing with one of your nipples, twisting and gently pulling it between his fingers.
You can no longer hold back your whines, they mix with his hoarse grunts, filling the air in the room.
“Fuck, it feels so good” you wail and he grumbles “yeah…such a nice cunt, fuck, so tight”
He pumps even harder into you, scissoring a bit, hitting your g-spot again and again, his thumb on your clit and you feel your peak building up from your tummy and raising hot into your chest, you’re gasping for air as he bites in the tender skin of your neck and lowers his mouth back on your nipple.
“mmm I would never stop sucking your tits, God, they are so - fuck” His voice dies in his throat as you clench hard around his fingers whining “don’t stop please don’t stop oh fuck sogoodsogoodsogoodsogood”, you sound almost like you’re on the verge of crying.
He gently urges you “let go, gorgeous, give it to me, drench my fucking fingers”
And you come, as much as you hate being told what to do he’s having the best of you. It’s basically the only moment in which you give yourself the chance to get lost, when your climax starts shuttering all over your body, wave after wave, washing away your control over yourself.
He holds you down as your body shakes uncontrollably.
His mouth leaves small kisses on your sweaty skin, cradling you through your orgasm along with his hands that gently cup your ass, squeezing it. You moan against his neck, clinging to his flannel shirt.
His fingers slide out of you and he brings them to your mouth, he runs them over your lower lip, wetting it with your pleasure and then gliding them over your tongue to his knuckles, you lick them greedily under his satisfied gaze.
You stay hugged against the wall for a while, not saying anything, just breathing on each other's skin.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly when he feels your breathing return to normal. “I’ve never felt better.” You answer, finally looking into his eyes again and running a hand through his hair, ruffling it.
He's cute, too cute, his eyes look at you sweetly and he caresses your cheek, brushing his thumb on your skin.
This is no good, this is no good at all, you think.
You have to do something before you make the terrible mistake of melting like ice cream in the sun for this man. You can't afford that. So you take matters into your own hands.
You push him against the wall in turn and his wide eyes tell you he wasn't expecting it.
You give him a smile as you lower your hand to his pants, feeling him hard under your touch. He’s big. Much bigger than you expected even though you just got a preview of him pressing against your thigh as he finger-fucked you.
Your hands quickly fumble with his jeans, unbuttoning them. You make room in his underwear to reach his cock. Joel grumbles “oh fuck, yes”
“Take off your clothes” you order. Joel undresses in a second, throwing his clothes and boots on the floor. You lick your lips at the sight of his bulging boxers. You move back against him, massaging him from above the fabric, feeling a large stain spreading across the front. He’s dripping profusely, which makes you even more hungry and eager to try him.
You smile at him as you lower yourself to your knees, bringing his boxers down with you.
His cock springs free right before your eyes, hard, uncut, and impossibly perfect. Your hand slides over the line of hair leading to his crotch, slightly beaded with sweat, and wraps around his base. He doesn’t stop staring at you, enraptured.
Your hand moves up and down his length, lingering at the tip, collecting his precum and spreading it out.
You feel your saliva building up in your mouth and as much as it annoys you to admit it your clit twitch, you can’t wait to taste it. Your mind is fighting against this guy, but your body knows exactly what it wants and doesn’t care if it gets carried away.
You place your tongue on the tip, swirling it around and then sliding it flat down his shaft, over his throbbing, engorged vein, down to where your hand encircles him.
You hear him grunt and your mouth twists involuntarily into a smirk.
His musky flavor coats your tongue as you continue to work his length, you look up and there he is, hair tousled, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape, eyes like ebony that sparkle with lust, beautiful as a painting. He almost hurts your eyes. You squeeze them shut, concentrating only on the heat in your mouth and your movements on his red and swollen tip.
You slurp greedily increasing the pace as you feel him throbbing more and more intensely.
You are enjoying the silence filled only by the sound of your obscene lapping and his hoarse moans when he decides to speak.
“Fuck, babygirl, you’re incredible”
Your blood runs cold, it’s like an unconditioned reflex you can’t escape. An uncontrolled anger rises from the pit of your stomach, you stop and let it out through your mouth. His face becomes confused, you take a deep breath to try to calm the fire that burns inside you and ask him sharply: “what did you call me?”
Mark's face materialized before your eyes, vivid as it hadn't been in a long time. It’s terrible.
He hesitates for a moment before saying “babygirl” in a garbled whisper.
“Don’t ever do that again” you tell him in a firm voice before moving closer to his cock and he mutters “no one has ever complained”
You stop again “It gives me the ick. So if you want me to continue I suggest you stop nagging like a child. Otherwise I can always walk out that door and let you finish with your hand”
“It’s just a pet name” he says, rolling his eyes, like it were no big deal, as if it didn't mean you were going back to where you started, to when you were too blind to realize how much of a liar your fiancé was, to when your heart was in pieces.
He can’t know, that’s true, so you haven’t completely blurted out. But that annoyance still rises in your throat. And you can’t cry, you really can’t. So sarcasm creeps in. “You think I’m a little girl? A princess who needs saving? Fucking Snow White?”
His cock is still standing between you two, waiting for attention. You might laugh at the situation, maybe make a joke about how well he holds his erection, but you're not really in the mood.
His Adam's apple moves in his throat, he gulps air before answering: “no, but…I mean, it’s just a word”
You shrug, looking at him with reproach and resignation at the same time, and try to answer with all the nonchalance you can muster. “Okay. It will mean that pornhub will take care of you, I don’t give a damn” If he can’t compromise then he’s not worth your time, just like every other man.
You start to get up and he stops you, a slight panic in his eyes “oh no, come on, don’t be like that. Ok, ok, I won’t say it again”
You lower yourself again and are about to start over in silence when it occurs to you to teasing him a little, just a little and only because he ruined the moment for you. He did it unintentionally but still. You don't mind the rough play and you think this big guy in front of you can take it.
“Let's try” you think “I can always stop”
It’s not like you’re going to hurt him badly, just teasing.
So you look him in the eyes with all the candor you can, taking one of his balls in your hand. You squeeze it and say “Are you going to be a good boy? Are you going to shut the fuck up for me?”
“Yes” he murmurs.
“I’m not your fucking babygirl, we clear?”
“Yes”
“Say it.”
“You’re not my babygirl” he whispers.
You squeeze hard on his ball, seeing his lower lip twitching with pleasure, his eyes dark with lust.
Yeah, he likes that, it’s clearly painted all over his face.
“Louder”
“You’re not my babygirl” his voice breaking in the attempt as you put your mouth on his ball sucking hard on it.
You let go with a satisfied smile “Perfect”
You take his shaft back into your mouth, squeezing the other ball gently with your hand and he leans against the wall, eyes shut and whimpering.
It’s so good to hear him like that, your clit is throbbing between your leg and your arousal is dripping all over your inner thighs.
You stop when you feel him on the edge, another few licks on his red and angry tip would be enough to send him over but you’re craving him into your cunt. And also, you like seeing him all pent up and needy for you.
He’s basically babbling at this point, begging you and swearing, eyes desperate for a release, all his body tense and covered in a light layer of sweat.
He’s totally gorgeous and you’re not done yet.
“Don’t cry baby, I will give you what you want” you coo, your lips curved into a smirk.
You get up and take his hand, guiding him on the couch in his living room.
It’s a nice brown leather couch, there is a little hollow in one of the pillows and you imagine that is where he usually sits to watch tv. This is also unnecessary information that makes him much more human and cute than you would like.
You can see him on Sundays, sprawled out there, his feet up on the coffee table placed in front, a beer in his hand, watching football.
No, that’s too much.
You sit him down in the center, caressing his cheek. You pinch one of his nipples and he lets out a groan. You take off the dress that at this point is practically dangling uselessly from your waist, your now soaked panties and your bra which he took care of pulling down earlier making it useless as well.
You’re finally completely naked before his eyes.
You throw everything aside on the floor, feeling incredibly vulnerable but trying not to show it.
Joel is silent but you can see his eyes feasting on your body, lusting over every curve before settling on your pussy that glistens with your juices.
You move closer and lean him against the back of the couch and sit on him, holding his cock with one hand and gently pushing it into your hole. You are incredibly wet but you proceed with caution anyway, he is too big to take in one thrust.
He pants beneath you, lacing his hands on your hips and guiding you gently. You can't see his eyes anymore, which is good for you, he's already made you feel exposed enough. It’s better this way, you can take what you want from his body without letting him affect you too much.
When you are fully seated on him you start to move, bouncing on his thighs, swinging your hips, he tries to keep up with your pace, thrusting into you as deep as he can, sinking into your wetness.
One of his hands moves to one of your breasts, cupping it and squeezing it, brushing your nipple with his palm and then taking it between his fingers.
You lean forward slightly to let him reach that soft spot inside you that always makes you see stars. Your ears are filled with his moans, the sound you like to hear when a man fucks you.
Nothing more than his natural, delirious, desire-filled sounds.
You throw your head on his shoulder and he kisses you, you cry into his mouth as you feel his hand move from your breast to your clit and begin to rub it furiously.
His tongue is warm and delicious in your mouth, a small trickle of saliva runs down your chin as you try to chase it and dance with it.
He's at his peak now, you feel him pulsing hard inside you, his moans muffled on your lips.
“Come inside, I’m on the pill” you only manage to whisper.
His pubic hair tickles your ass as he slams into you repeatedly, until you feel long, hot streaks of his cum painting your walls.
You continue to rock on his hips, lacing one hand around his neck, kissing him, until everything gets confusing, blurry, overwhelming in a way you can't explain. You reach him in a state of bliss, sweaty and exhausted but never as satisfied as you are now.
You pull his cock out of you and sit on the couch, he is on your neck in an instant, leaving a trail of small hungry kisses as you both try to catch your breath. You close your eyes so as not to see his, probably softened and vulnerable, nothing more wrong than letting yourself be taken by the tenderness after sex.
After a while he gets up and disappears into the kitchen without saying anything. He returns with a glass of water and hands it to you. “Thank you,” you say, before quickly swallowing it to ease the dryness in your throat. You set it on the coffee table and stand up before he tries to say something stupid.
You gather your clothes, getting dressed as he watches you from the couch, you feel his eyes on you the whole time.
You lean in to give him a kiss and his hand on your hip feels like a silent request to stay.
You don't say anything, there's no need to say anything.
You walk out the door without looking back.
You're not a babygirl.
A/N: I personally don't mind being called "babygirl" and Joel could call me anything, really. LOL I just wanted to try something different, hope you all liked it. Thanks again for reading, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated ❤️
#joel miller#the last of us#joel miller x reader#joel the last of us#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel tlou#pedro pascal characters#joel miller x you#joel miller x afab!reader#pedro pascal
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My Semi-Coherent Thoughts About Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo So Far (ep. 1-6)
This is a response to some asks I got after this week's ep. 5 and 6, and some additional thoughts from me. I'll mostly throw some random points out there because I've been living in right-brain-land for most of this week (or weeks? What's time anyway, eh?), so being coherent seems like too much of a challenge right now, lol. But this post needs to be written so I can stop thinking about it and focus on something else.
Let's start with two Anons who dropped into my inbox with comments of the same context: that Dohoi was an asshole and that I wouldn't be able to defend him anymore...
Clearly, Anons, you seemed to have completely missed the point of my previous posts where I said I was neutral (I still am) and refused to go into a discussion about taking sides because that's not where the interesting bits are (not for me, anyway).
I'm on both their sides and on no one's side.
Juyeong and Dohoi have both made mistakes:
Juyeong lied about Dohoi's dad abusing him
Dohoi pretended to not know about it
Juyeong chose to stand up to Dohoi's dad even though he knew that man was a violent piece of shit
Dohoi called the police, afraid he wouldn't be able to focus on his exam, but he couldn't focus anyway
None of them communicated any of this to the other in the past
Etc.
To say that Dohoi is the asshole while Juyeong is an angel is completely ignoring an important point: nothing is ever black or white. (Yes, this is just fiction, but it's a realistic piece of fiction that shows this very point.)
Also, to think that only one of them has/does suffer is a very one-sided way of looking at it. To be fair, it's easy to fall into that trap since we're getting a lot of Juyeong's pov at the moment while Dohoi's story is still kept in the dark.
But imagine how much of a self-sabotager you are for choosing to push away people who love you because you inherently believe that you will never be good enough or will never be worthy of love. Dohoi has been in so much pain for such a long time it's familiar to him. It takes years, decades, maybe even a whole lifetime to climb out of a hole like that. And he might've been able to do that on his own if Juyeong hadn't shown up at the funeral and reminded him of all the things from the past once again.
One of the Anons then proceeded to list all the ways Juyeong was abandoned and that Dohoi did the exact same thing to him, which made Dohoi even more of an asshole...
I can't help but wonder if we've seen the same show.
Because Dohoi was abandoned too.
They’re both dealing with abandonment issues.
None of them had present parent growing up
Juyeong was adopted, which will always be a wound for him (and being adopted by those kinds of parents didn’t make it any better)
I can’t quite remember if they mentioned that Dohoi’s mom died or left but, either way, both can lead to abandonment issues (especially when a child is forced to go through it)
Then we have Hyeonho who turned from Dohoi's friend to his bully (again, Dohoi was abandoned)
When shit went down in the past, Juyeong left with his parents, and while that was a valid reason, it was yet another person who left Dohoi (which, to be fair, made Dohoi indirectly responsible since he called the police)
And then Juyeong was abandoned by Dohoi who went radio silent for years
They are both dealing with abandonment issues. Just because the show, at this point, is mostly focusing on the effects of Dohoi abandoning Juyeong doesn’t mean Dohoi wasn’t abandoned as well. Because he was. It’s mentioned and shown in subtle ways throughout the show.
Being abandoned can be a huge trauma for a person (especially for kids who don't have the tools to deal with important people leaving or dying). And we all have different trauma responses, which I think is another interesting point of this show:
Juyeong’s trauma response is to fight (he did so when he stood up for Dohoi against the bullies in the past, when he chose to stand up against Dohoi’s dad, but also when he physically punched a teacher)
Dohoi’s trauma response is flight (he tried to ignore that Juyeong was abused by his dad, he never put up a fight even when he was beaten by the bullies, he left after he threatened his dad with a knife, etc.)
None of those is a "better"/"worse" response
These characters are both traumatized for fuck's sake
And, the thing is, we've seen time and time again that the last thing Dohoi wants is to fight. He reacts even to the mere mention of it.
Juyeong fighting (even though it's never physical with Dohoi) won’t give him the results he wants from Dohoi.
And Juyeong, who was abandoned by his birth parents, adopted by a couple who didn't seem to want him anyway, and might think that no one ever fought for him, will always be hurt by Dohoi avoiding things.
They are each other's opposites even though they're dealing with a similar type of trauma.
And they won’t be able to be happy with each other (or with themselves, which is, honestly, more important) until they deal with their own trauma.
(Also, I don’t know about you, but Hwang Daseul choosing to use these contrasting trauma responses for these boys is fucking genius to me because there's so much potential for angst, which we've gotten a whole 3-course meal of. I'm well fed at this table and I won't be leaving any time soon, lol.)
One of the Anons also briefly mentioned Dohoi's old home and how he should just sell it to Juyeong because it was the only place where Juyeong was happy, and I...
*Sigh*
I'll have to admit that this was the first time in the show that my neutrality was tested because... If you can watch the following scene without feeling empathy for Dohoi, you're (no judgment) colder than me (a certified ice queen):
Imagine going back to the place where you were abused all those years. Dohoi took one look at the place, and his past traumas and emotions about what happened came pouring back. I'm not surprised he wants to sell it. Hell, if I was him, I'd want to decimate the place. But, instead, he has to deal with Juyeong wanting to buy it even though Juyeong knows what went down in that house.
If Juyeong wants to keep it "as is" to make sure Dohoi doesn't regret selling the place, Juyeong is delulu. If he wants to buy it and build something new, that's different. But we don't know what he wants yet. We don't really know why he's so intent on buying the place (other than not wanting Dohoi to regret it).
Either way, that whole situation made me feel a bit weird about Juyeong. Buying the place where the person you loved experienced trauma? What the actual fuck? And I'm not surprised that Dohoi is feeling some kind of way about it (and if he still thinks it's because Juyeong feels some kind of loyalty or guilt towards his dad, that's so fucking sad).
I do think the place is important to the rest of the story, though. It's the place where theirs began. It's the place where they loved and lost and were abused. It's the place that contains the events they both need to reconcile and deal with before moving on.
Which leads me to my speculations of where this might be going in the last two episodes. Because I think Juyeong will take Dohoi to his old home. Especially since the search history on the GPS in the car he rented included it.
That place will always be an open wound for them until they deal with the past, so Dohoi can stop running from it and Juyeong can stop living in it.
It was also the place where Dohoi's walls crumbled for the first time since the time jump, so Juyeong might think that's the best place to deal with the shit once and for all.
Walden Law Firm was also in the GPS search history, which is where Hyeonho works. My guess is that Juyeong has already gone to see Hyeonho when he meets up with Dohoi at the end of the 6th episode. Whatever might've gone down in that meeting (Juyeong saying Dohoi broke it off again, Juyeong demanding to know what happened with Dohoi during the past 12 years, Hyeonho spilling the beans, or whatever), it might be the reason why Hyeonho called Dohoi to say they needed to talk.
Then there's the biggest question of all the questions I have, which is about what happened to Dohoi during those 12 years. If Dohoi didn't graduate (at least not as an architect), how did he gain everything he now has?
In regards to college, I don't think it was anything more dramatic than him not managing to have the right results on the entrance exam. Math is an essential part of architecture, and we've already seen that math wasn't Dohoi's forte.
About his apparent wealth, though. As I mentioned before, I can't remember if they mentioned whether Dohoi's mom died or left. But, if she left, there might've been some inheritance if she eventually died, which could also be how he and Hyeonho met (since these things, more often than not, require lawyers).
If that's true, feeling that his wealth was "unearned" might be a reason he lied about the floorplans to that house. (Btw, I can't believe Juyeong didn't call Dohoi's bluff because I would've called him out on his bullshit so fucking fast, lol.)
I think it's also a part of his facade to pretend that he was okay all those years even though he was suffering (which I'm sure we'll see more of in the coming episodes).
But I also feel like there's something more. More to the reason he didn't study architecture and more to how he gained his wealth. And definitely more to what was going on between Dohoi and Hyeonho and how involved Hyeonho has been the past 12 years.
There's still so much of Dohoi's story to be revealed, and I can't wait to see it all unfold.
#it seems like I could string more than a couple of sentences together after all lol#I could go on a tangent about how the fight and flight responses are sometimes a desperate attempt to survive#and how both of them suck at communicating#but I've been working on this for way to long already#lmao#let free the curse of taekwondo#korean ql#korean bl#korean series#my shit
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So, I binged The Acolyte last night.
I had a mental block and couldn't get myself to start while it was coming out, and I also haven't touched any High Republic era media before which made me hesitant. But the spoilers/gifs/fanart etc I saw convinced me I should give it a try.
I'm not a huge fan of binging, I like sitting and thinking with each episode, so I expected to just watch an episode or two, give it a day or so, then continue if I liked it.
But, to my great surprise, once I started, I couldn't really stop (aaand stayed up till 7 AM, oops).
I think it had several things going for it:
-The acting was genuinely phenomenal. I feel like I would have felt completely differently about the show if different actors had been involved, and i mean that more strongly than I usually do. Their delivery in certain moments really sold me.
-It's not your usual Star Wars genre. I'd consider it mystery/suspense with a touch of horror, and it really does come together. Some of the characters are experience a more stereotypical Star Wars action/adventure story, but are jerked out of their genre at certain moments. It's pretty neat, and makes the twists fun and interesting (even if you were completely spoiled beforehand, like me lol)
-The costumes were gorgeous and unique.
-Some truly gorgeous cinematography, shots that have beautiful composition and lighting.
-It was rich in lore and references, some from Legends that I caught, many from the High Republic that I didn't catch but appreciated nonetheless. It felt deeply connected to the SW Universe.
-While cynical, the writing says things that I've thought about but never really thought Star Wars would have the guts to say. The writing is also Tight, meaning that little moments of character interactions bring up things that will be necessary/helpful to the plot later, and I appreciated that. There felt like very little waste.
-There are genuinely no "good" or "bad" guys. Every character makes mistakes or has horrible qualities, yet also positive ones. We see and understand motives, even if we don't agree with them, and see the fallout of those actions. This made almost everyone compelling. The narrative and writing gives the audience space to think.
Things that I wasn't as much a fan of:
-I felt like most of the sets felt kind of generic and Earth-like, especially in comparison to the rich costumes and alien characters.
-There are some fantastic fight scenes and emotional scenes, where the acting and cinematography was fantastic, but I wish the music had been a bit more memorable. I can't really recall any of it, and I feel like there were scenes that could have been truly iconic had the music resounded more with me.
Now, some more specific thoughts, SPOILERS below:
On Sol:
Sol is a character who, I believe in most cases, I would have absolutely despised. But holy shit, Lee Jung-jae. I am not exaggerating when I say that his performance is perhaps one of the best, if not THE best performances I've ever seen in live action Star Wars. He played this character so tenderly, so genuinely.
Despite being misguided, having made terrible decisions, and making mistakes that even he acknowledges, Sol himself always truly thought he was doing what was right, and loved Osha with his whole being even at the end, and it Shows. The way he looks at Osha was so sincere.
This is why I can't get myself to hate Sol as a character. It makes me feel so conflicted, like how can a guy with so much love and genuine desire to help and do good go so wrong? And that, I think, is one of the major points of the show, and Lee Jung-jae absolutely sells it. What a phenomenal actor. You could genuinely watch this show for him alone.
On Osha/Mae:
When the first info/promos for Acolyte came out and Amandla Stenberg was announced as the main character, I admit I was a bit confused. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I thought she couldn't act, but it's just that her face is so kind. She looks so warm (and gosh, she's so beautiful), but it made me go hmm, she looks like a Good Guy Protag, a Hero, so I was a bit confused as to how she was going to lead "the Acolyte," which from the title, I assumed she'd be Dark Side. Even with the early promo scenes of Mae fighting Indara, I wasn't really sold on her being "Dark."
And it turns out, that was exactly the point of the casting.
Amandla was perfect, and was brilliant at portraying two characters who not only have different and distinct personalities, but also both shift and change throughout the show. Mae never came off as "Dark" to me, because she isn't. Osha's not necessarily Light OR Dark, but she's independent. They are balanced, yet cycling, reminiscent of that little palm-to-palm circling ritual that the girls do. Amandla's portrayal of them was poetry, and made me so very invested in them.
I think if there's one thing I really wish the show had included more of, it's both Osha and Mae's pasts between their tragic separation and their reunion in the present. What was Osha's Padawan-ship actually like? I feel like the exact reason for the timing of her leaving the Order was ambiguous, and I wanted to know more. And was Mae with "the Master" the entire time?
I truly wish Osha could have heard the full story from Sol, because of his many crimes, ironically, killing her mother really was a genuine accident. There are things I wish he could have apologized to her for, or that she could have understood about him, such as how that night at the coven was largely driven by how Sol felt connected to her. This is one part where, while I get how the writers went this way, I do wish I could have felt more closure to their relationship.
I found it so tragic that Qimir erased Mae's memories and they had to be separated so soon after finally understanding each other. I really hope that if there's a season 2, they can be reunited.
On Qimir:
Preface by saying I was spoiled regarding his identity long before I started, by all those thirsty posts/tweets. And man, I GET IT.
But thirst magnet aside, I found him a genuinely fascinating character. For one thing, he's kind of an ironic character to *be* a Darksider. He seems so chill and laid-back, is honorable (or at least keeps his word), and despite his words about using emotions to harness energy, we don't really see him passionately mad/anything really. In contrast, the Jedi we see around him are furious, scared, sad. It's interesting that he almost seems more calm, but not necessarily because he's trying: he just doesn't care.
Manny Jacinto's portrayal of the character made him so damn Likable. Which, is pretty hard to reconcile with the fact that I genuinely liked Jecki and Yord, but a lot of his lines make me just go, y'know he's got a point. Like the whole, "She was a child," "You brought her here." Like yeah. Honestly, fair. His little quips, the delivery, the I'm-just-a-chill-dude attitude, actually keeps his word, and on the flip side, undeniable ruthless skill and viciousness that took down a whole team of Jedi single-handedly. It's a very BRRRRRR combo.
In general, I don't really get too attached to "Dark Side" characters, and don't really have a favorite Sith. Or at least, I didn't, but I think Qimir (or whatever his actually name is) might claim that spot now. Truly peak character, I truly hope we get to see more with him.
And this is kind of an aside, but can I just say, it felt unreal to have entire fight sequences focussing on just two Asian actors, with the other protagonist we see a black girl, for huge chunks of the show? No white people except comparatively brief side characters? In a Star Wars show?!?? All of them unique and well fleshed out and phenomenally written and acted?? None of it felt like "forced diversity," it's all so natural, that when I step back and thought about it in these terms it just...again, feels unreal. I'm so grateful for these characters, and hope we get more like them.
On Jecki and Yord:
Honestly given what I saw about Yord before hand, I was expecting him to be far more annoying than he was. Sure, he was a little stiff, but he felt like a young Jedi Knight who was trying to prove himself and do his best, and I think he very clearly did care for Osha.
Jecki, gosh I loved her. She felt very similar to Ahsoka, if a bit more by the book. She was very wise for her youth. I loved the budding friendship between her and Osha, how they helped each other and weren't jealous.
The thing about both of these characters, which I think the writers did so well, is that they felt like protagonists. In another story, they would have been the main characters, the heroes. Both of them were so young, so early in their training/careers. They could have become Obi-Wans, Ahsokas. Jecki especially was bursting with so much potential.
But alas, this was not that story. It makes it that much shocking when their lives are cut so abruptly short. We were given time to get to know these characters, to care for them, and then without much fanfare, boom. Gone.
On one hand, I sorta Hate That. On the other, I deeply respect the writers for going there, because I think it did have an Impact on the story and show.
On the Witches/Mother Aniseya:
Admittedly I was a little ehhhhh on some of the world-building regarding the witches, just the use of the words "witch" and "coven" and some of the chanting with gasping cackling women etc felt a bit caricature. I do get that they wanted us to have a vibe for this group and to get one with limited screentime, and sometimes stereotypes are the way to do that. I didn't love it, but also didn't mind it too much.
I actually really loved Mother Aniseya. For one thing, the actress is Gorgeous, her costume stunning, and she really sold the whole otherworldly ethereal immortal goddess vibe well, in a way that still felt Star Wars. For the other, I liked how she was the soft, empathetic one, it kinda contrasted with expectation of her position.
I also loved Mother Koril, and how again, she was designed as a character foil to Mother Aniseya. I love how we didn't see too much of them, but could still see that they were partners who loved and respected each other (I hesitate to say "wives," because I feel like their society may not exactly have the same concept of marriage, but partners was undeniable). I think it was a neat Oh moment when they stated that Mother Koril is the one who carried the twins. Love them.
I know I'll have more thoughts, but yeah, to sum it up, I enjoyed Acolyte a ton more than I thought i would, and am so glad I gave it a chance.
Other things:
-Mentioned earlier that I love "little moments of character interactions bring up things that will be necessary/helpful to the plot later." Some actual examples of this: When we see Sol noticing Osha's tattoo and Osha saying he must hate it, which in the moment, shows the kind of guardian-student relationship they have, and how little seems to have changed for them in the time they've been a part. Later, it's shown to clearly identify Osha after Mae steals her clothes. Another is the rolly polly moth things, which at first seem just like a way to show This Forest Dangerous, but then are a plot point to temporarily escape from Qimir, and later on, to show Vernestra's connection to the Force (and also her light whip). Stuff like that, I really like.
-I so appreciated Qimir's Cortosis helmet. For one thing, it's neat that it's not just cool-looking or a disguise, but actually is Force-blocking. I think an official SW account factoid said that this is also how beskar works, though beskar is stronger. The two effects this has: when the user is wearing it, they're forced to confront what's inside of them. The other, is that it hides the wearer's identity from Force users who would otherwise recognize them. The latter is my personal headcanon for beskar helmets, so it's very gratifying to see it in canon! The former has some interesting implications for Force-users who wear beskar.
-The cynical view of the Jedi Order as an Institution, and all the politics, corruption, and obscuring of dirt that that entails. Admittedly this may be because of my own increasingly cynical perspective on the Order, but it felt honest and I agreed with most of it. The fact that individuals are trying their best to do "good" does not negate the fact that they are pretty much acting as Space Cops. This line by Senator Rayencourt felt especially raw:
"I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion, a delusional cult that claims to claim the uncontrollable. [] Your emotions."
Framed as a religion having unchecked power—that feels uncomfortably realistic! And also zeroing in on how for all their power, the Jedi are still people, and just as fallible (and therefore, must necessarily be held just as accountable).
Also:
I can see how this portrayal of the Jedi may make some folks uncomfortable, especially if you love the Jedi, but I long hold that the Jedi as an organization are deeply flawed. It's part of why I personally like the "fall of the Republic" era; both the Galactic Republic and Jedi Order have deep, fatal flaws, and this is an era where that all comes to a head—one where they must fall, or fix themselves.
So in conclusion, my favorite parts: the characters, and the moral grayness of almost everyone. Many stories may claim there's no good/evil dichotomy, but few ever truly show it, but this one did.
I'm not sure yet if I want to "fandom" over this or if I'm pretty satisfied with having just watched it, but it was definitely worth the watch and I'm glad I gave it a try!
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I also kept a lil document of live reaction notes as I was watching, which I'll copy below:
Episode 1
UEDA?? The planet is just, UEDA?? A pretty common Japanese surname?? That's like. Naming a planet Johnson or somethin...
Loving the costumes 'n set
Oh wait I recognize this scene, it's the one they played as a preview at the AMC Star Wars marathon
Idk how to feel about the Space Generic T-Shirt
Ooh Neimoidians (thank you for no horrendously exaggerated Evil Japanese Accent TM), and interesting Jedi ship shape
Oh interesting interesting they intentionally paralleling TPM eh
Hrmn not a positive first impression of Master Vernestra, her lines are so mechanical
Very cool pilot chair droids and tentacle alien
Osha says practice vehicle safety and wear seatbelts and protect your head!
Oh Osha has Trauma I see. Girl ain't getting good sleep
Oh wow Sol Loves Osha, oh no is this going to lead to Padawan Jealousy Trauma between Osha and Jecki. How much are we heavily paralleling TPM here
Kill the dream eh?
Episode 2
Oh there are multiple Jedi temples, that's nice
Jedi Temple using same security system as Jabba is...uh
Mae tips, good for her
Master Torbin just sittin' there, lookin like some random youtuber. why tabi socks
Man I dig Mae's patchwork cloak with massive princess hood.
It's pronounced KAI-meer??? My Chinese ass thought it was Chee-mir
Barash Vow
Ohhh so Mae doesn't know that Qimir...? (was spoiled)
Episode 3
ooh i like the fairy clione things
Ohhh village all women??
Mother Aniseya is stunning
Oh she and Koril blatantly lesbian, fantastic
Oh gosh the Jedi are NOT looking good here. They don't have the right to train children?? WTF
You must let the children take the test?? And if they pass the Jedi will take them away??? That does NOT sound very consensual!!
Oh gosh, selling "you are special" to a child, after separating her from her community...
Really feel like "how does taking a child away affect their community" should be factored into jedi stuff
Mae that is...sudden and violent wtf
Kinda not trusting Sol here
Episode 4
Wow Kelnacca looks...mentally stable
Ohhh Qimir's ship? Looks suspiciously Kylo Ren-ish
Qimir really suspicious eh
Oh wow not using the Force or anything, just using a sniffy guy
They're really doing a Fellowship of the Ring walk huh
Look I absolutely adore Mae's long gorgeous cloak but that is going to drag half the forest floor with her
Not liking those tree bulbs. looks spider eggy
Osha don't Touch the Thing, that's such a Pippin move
oh no, not spider eggs...rolly polly moth vampire thing
Really enjoying Osha and Jecki's friendship, I'm so glad it's not former Padawan jealousy
Oh, Mae, oh no....knowing spoilers...oh...
The red lightsaber igniting next to Osha's head...dang what fantastic composition
The lil hand twitch and head snap. I Get It.
I remember when "Darth Teeth" was trending
And wow that's a Cliffhanger
Episode 5
Oh no Osha knocked out that doesn't bode well
How many against one is that damn
The double spear through then hidden head lop...wow
holy shit booma-saber
Oooooh the cut treeeeees damn
all that death before even the opening title
Honestly GO JECKI, that's very impressive, her win against Mae AND double saber against Darth Teeth, Anakin level spinning and drama
Holy shit Jecki's death was brutal...
She was a child - You brought her here - FAIR
Why risk discovery - I did wear a mask LMAO
Damn did he just casually break Mae's leg
I don't make the rules - the Jedi do
The Jedi say I can't exist...wow
Holy shit Yord's death
Damn full on brawl
I've accepted my darkness, what have you done with yours
Damn really yeeted Qimir from the fight by sticking a light on his back
Pip tho ;_; killin droids feels like killin pets...
They've turned you against me - really Anakin quotin
Wow Sol, not even going to see Jecki????
And wtf how can Sol not tell that Mae's switched them??? Has fandom been grossly misunderstanding how the Jedi use the Force....how the fuck can any Jedi tell apart any clones eh...
While not exactly subtle, I appreciate how lil details in character interactions have had pay offs. Like the tree bugs and Osha's tattoo being a way to identify her
Episode 6
He really just makin a hot pot
his lair kinda looks like sequels Luke's island
Not sure how I feel about the elephant rock bird things
Honestly glad we get to see Sol upset and affected by everyone's deaths. Might explain part of why he can't tell apart the twins?
Oh he's really wearing hakama hakama
Wow Qimir really just getting in buck naked eh. Is this the scene that Manny froze his balls off for
His line about it being fine in a fight but vengeance a few hours later
Oh he brought a change of clothes
Damn the Jedi are taught "it fades"???
Aww Osha, u aren't tempted by the soup??
Oh wow we revisiting bodies, that feels...u usual for SW. Oh there's a Kel Dor... (why are there no flies buzzing yet. or are there no flies yet)
Mae wakes up so peacefully compared to Osha
Oooh sensory deprivation mask, all dark, nothing but breathing, evocative of Darth Vader even if breathing is not similar
Episode 7
Vergence....iiiiinteresting
Sol, stalking lil kids is creepy af
Oh my god you're just gonna break in???
See - You cannot deny the Jedi have a right to test potential Padawans - Why the fuck not???? You don't have the right to stalk, spy on, break into random people's homes, and talk directly to their children without permission from guardians??
Guh Sol....
Interrogation after isolation from guardians....
Oh, the Jedi Council is right for once??
Do not alter this little girl's destiny because you have formed an emotional attachment to her
Gosh I thought Indara was the most innocent in this buuuuut
Episode 8
I'm surprised they never added Darth Teeth's mask to the front credits
"See you in hell" Oh I know Han mentioned Hell like once but I thought they were avoiding mentioning it in newer media
Holy shit Rayencourt: I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion, a delusional cult that claims to claim the uncontrollable. - Kinda uncomfortably real!!
-We don't control the Force - no, your emotions - OOF
I didn't realize till this ep how the cool Brendok eclipse got that line, it's the comet ring. super neat
oof Mae climbing out of the scene of Trauma...
Oh that is some Wu Xia shit
"I will destroy you if i must" really??
Nice dagger saber
Okay Sol that is Cool
oh gosh, the plot-relevant inversion of clothes resulting in it reflecting how they swapped light/dark is SO cool
very yin yang fighting
Damn it keeps coming down to the unarmed opponent thing
Damn, Mae going the justice route
Damn, just Damn
Gosh the thing about Sol is that he is SO well acted, so sincere in his love and devotion, it's hard to hate him
I'm glad the helmets block the Force identity like that tho, fits headcanon
Glad Basil continues to shine
Oh no. Vernestra...I thought you were doing the right thing revealing the truth, but instead you're continuing the cycle of covering up crimes
Oh...use Mae to find Vernestra's former Padawan...that's a cycle alright
And ends with Yoda okay
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remember the days when you didn't like ambessa? what changed your mind about her?
HI ANONN , THATS A GOOD QUESTION!
Since the beginning I've always found it hard to trust Ambessa, it's not that I don't believe her experiences, she's one of the smartest characters in the whole show. But It's more about her relationship with Mel, I've always been so unsure about what her true feelings towards Mel are, she is a wolf, but undoubtedly a fox as well. Manipulation is like smooth sailing for her, and finding genuinity in her expressions always came with a little bit of doubt on the side, "Does she actually care? Is she manipulating the people around her -including Mel- JUST to get her way? Is she trustworthy with her intentions and feelings towards Mel?" And etc.
Only a little while ago did I realize that Ambessa is just extremely complex, she has so many layers, to the point where I didn't really have to time to clear my glasses about her character. I hated her for her morals, and i let that affect my interest towards this character as a whole, which is a huge mistake in my book. I also did take her a little personally sometimes, shes really realistic and it scared me a lot.
But ever since riot released the few beggining s2 trailers, I slowly started getting excited to see her. We did not get much screentime with Ambessa in s1, hence why I never felt a close attachment to her, and Mel was another reason on why I didn't like Ambessa because I'm attached to HER the most. Which reflects on my opinions on certain others, sort of like seeing things from her perspective. Mel is basically the base of my opinions on other characters if that makes sense?
Family, especially motherhood tropes are such a weakness for me, seeing her league voicelines and that music video they recently released (blood, sweat & tears) is what tipped the jar completely for me. We never got a clear indication on what Ambessas true perspective was, so finally seeing things from her eyes, hearing what she had to say, seeing how rough her past is made me understand why she became who she is in the current timeline.
And now I feel like I do not need to doubt everything she says, she does indeed love Mel as much as she does kino, she was not telling Mel in episode 9 all those things to weaken her for an open road, no. She'd went through hell and back just to keep her family safe despite how nuanced her actions are. seeing her lore simply made me do an entire 180⁰ turn.
She was going to accept her and her childs death and give in, but instead she chose to fight for her and their lives instead.
Kindred has the Lamb and the wolf. The lamb takes the lives of the dying peacefully, the wolf on the other hand, takes the lives of those who fight for their lives until they're dead.
And I find that interesting, gut wrenching and sickening mentally, thanks riot, good to know Ambessa is locked to the wolf in every single way <333
Thing is, what pains me is that she had no choice, she had to choose to die and leave everyone behind including the unborn child, or become the Medardas dictator, with the expense of her child's inevitable death. (Or perhaps I've taken this wrong)
From my understanding, the MV was more about Kino than it is about Mel, her letting go of the lamb was like handing the lamb for slaughter, a sacrifice, sort of like a "contract". Which lead to Kinos death despite how unrelated it was from kindred (like he didn't die by kindreds hands directly) . Hence why she was crying over the child figure/statue holding the lamb.
And later with the visual presentation of her pain too, someone please take the medardas pains and give it triple the amount to the actual worst fucking person to exist oh my god 😭 😭 😭
To summarize, I just never understood her character properly, I never got myself to do so. and that is a mistake from my side, I am a really visual person and the reason I really love arcane is because they don't really need words to express and show who their characters really are. Theres so many visual secrets and easterggs, expressionism, movements, colors, every single thing matters. And with Ambessa only appearing on the last 2 episodes?? Yeah I never felt like learning about her. But now im slowly starting to do that! She made it from my least character ever to like TOP 5 😭 😭
All of this will not change how horrible she is, she is a painted villain, ambiguous yes, but leaning on the darker sides. But that's what makes her Ambessa and no one else, I will forever hate her morals, I won't defend her actions. but her true intentions are meaningful nonetheless, with all the other characters too.
#arcane#mel medarda#mel arcane#ambessa medarda#arcane s2#ambessa#mel and ambessa#arcane ambessa#ambessa arcane#ask#anon ask#anonymous#Semi analysis#kindred#I might have left out a few other things D:#ALSO FIRST ASK?!??@#YIPPEEEE
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Jacks x Reader
Jacks x Reader, The Prince of Hearts x Reader, because who doesn't love him?!?! Reader is female but I'll be using You\Your\You're and such. World where Eva does not exist, ooh brainstorming I might make YOU the key, but you're more aware of what you can do... oh yeah that's good!
Warnings: 18+ probably, I might be a bit suggestive, who knows, mentions of weapons and blood and such.
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You had heard of the Prince of Hearts' church, and in your personal opinion, he was maybe second place in line for being your favorite fate, the doors in front of you beckoned you, they practically called your name, begging you to unlock them and walk through them, but at the same time, promising you that if you did walk in, your life would change, forever.
You stabbed your finger with the knife in your pocket as you pressed it to the door, ever since you were six, or maybe longer, six was just when you figured it out, you'd been able to unlock things, doors, locked drawers, possibly more, but you didn't test it out in public often, except for now.
Walking in, you heard horrible ripping that caused your toes to curl in your boots, as certain noises bothered you greatly, you turned to someone in the corner tearing their clothing to shreds.
"How pathetic." you muttered under your breath, and by the way they jolted slightly, you could tell that they heard you, whomever it was wasn't showing any other signs that they heard you though, "Didn't know the oh so special Prince of Hearts had strippers."
At your words the room felt colder, making fun of a fate probably wasn't the best idea, especially in his church.
Walking towards the alter surrounded with statues of the prince, you couldn't help but laugh at how self centered it seemed.
"Blood for a Prayer," a sign read, you sighed and cursed the overdramatic fates as you stabbed your finger.
"Dear almighty, oh-so-powerful, amazing Prince of Hearts." you began sarcastically, "I'm here because my parents are dead and my life is pathetic and so are you so you must understand my situation...." with a pause you thought for a moment.
(Yeah so I'm twisting it up just a teensy bit"
"I pulled your card first. Every goddamn time, so I thought I was destined for unrequited love and whatnot. Honestly, I'm okay with that, I've never really been in love before, so I want to stop the person who loves me, he's- he's amazing, but I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't... love him like that. I need your help, I heard of your ability to- control emotions or do whatever. I need you to make him stop loving me." Your fists curled at your side and when nothing happened, when nothing felt different or more magical, you let out a frustrated breath, "Why am I not surprised." you growled, turning around, your growl turned into a cry as you nearly ran into a stranger, you moved your fist to punch him in the jaw, he mearly caught it with a chuckle. "I don't think you want to do that to the almighty, oh-so-powerful, amazing Prince of Hearts." he said with a grin before releasing your wrist as you stumbled away.
You had made a huge mistake.
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Comment for more, I couldn't finish, but hey, cLiFfHanGer
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Lockdown Bubble - Part 2
The next day I came downstairs before Antony and made breakfast, sittng at the table with my back to the counters and munching away as he walked in. "Morning" he said cheerfully, and I waved a response while swallowing a mouthful of cereal.
"Morning, got anything planned today?", and took in another bite.
"Not really. Weekends aren't the same during lockdown. Day in front of the TV again I guess" he replied busying himself behind my head making his own breakfast. As he bent down to get the milk he let out a short fart. "Oh excuse me! That just slipped out".
Desperately trying to swallow the cereal before I retched it out from the smell, I leaned as far away as I could get. "Oh man, not another one, why do your farts smell so bad?"
"My diet isn't that great" Antony shrugged, then gave his belly a jovial wobble as if to emphasize the point. "If you think my farts are bad, just wait until I've done one of those home work out vids. Now they build up a sweat"
"I'll stay clear of that then until you shower!"
"Who knows, might be something else you learn to love. Like my farts", and that devilish grin returned.
I turned around to deny that I would never, but realised too late the huge mistake it was. Antony had purposely bent forward on the counter with his ass aimed directly at my head in hope his bait would work. As I turned to face him he released another quick airy fart right at me.
Ppfftt
Antony was beside himself laughing. In disgust I shot out the chair to wash my face in the sink. "Omg, so gross!"
"Aww I'm sorry, I was just having a laugh. Didn't mean to get you right in the face. Good job your mouth was closed ay, otherwise you'd have been swallowing last night's dinner again". He chuckled as he sat and ate his breakfast.
I finished drying myself and sat back to finish breakfast. "I'm beginning to think you have a thing for farts the way you keep subjecting me to then"
Antony chewed in thoughtful silence for a moment before responding, "nah, not the farting itself. I just aren't bothered by them like you are. But what I do like is humiliation, subjecting others to it. Like some people love having their feet worshipped, I don't care about it particularly, but if a guy hates feet then that's what I want them doing. I get off on that power". I was stunned by the honesty.
"That being said I am also very good at figuring out what someone truly desires. So either my farts will be a good punishment for you, or they'll be something you secretly crave". And he carried on eating as if he hadn't just dropped a bombshell.
"I can guarantee that I do not want your farts, they're certainly not my thing. And I'm not a big fan of feet either come to that matter"
Again Antony smirked while finishing his cereal. "Dont worry, we will only be vanilla then if that's what you want. I just thought last night you said you would be an obedient slave"
I felt oddly insulted. Was I vanilla? Surely there was a large gap between just wanting to suck a cock or sit on a dick, and having to be subjected to Antony's gaseous assaults. And I was ashamed to admit it, but every time he called me a slave I could feel my dick start to throb. Maybe I could help satisfy his need to dominate without going too far.
"I'm not vanilla! Just maybe you're a lot more experienced than me. I want to please, sir". I paused while giving an innocent doll eyed look, "but maybe, don't be too mean?"
"Of course not, wouldn't want you leaving here. And as a show of good will, how about you suck my cock?" Antony offered.
I felt relieved. It was stupid, but I didn't want to be boring and we'd both said how much fun being a bubble with benefits would be so I didn't want to look like I was bailing on it.
I pushed my chair out and slid under the table. Antony opened his legs so I could get at his crotch. He was wearing the same boxers as yesterday having not changed. The smell of the sweat from the night's sleep and a bit of dried cum was noticeable. Again I didn't want to be a buzz kill so without I protest pulled his fat cock out of the flap. Once in my mouth it started to harden and I began to work it.
Antony leaned back looking under the table at me slobbering on his cock. "Oh damn that feels good. Though I forgot to warn you that I needed a piss..."
My eyes must have shot open in terror. But before I could pull away Antony had slid his large hand to the back of my head and I felt a hard grip hold me in place.
"...I'm kidding! Would I do that to you? Keep sucking on that cock bitch, don't you dare stop when it feels this good"
The grip didn't let off but I felt reassured enough to carry on. Humiliation was one thing, but he wouldn't force me drink his piss surely. His hand forced me down so the cock was slamming the back of my throat, and he began convulsing in the chair as he came. I swallowed quickly as he held me there for a minute before letting him go, making sure I got every drop.
"Ah, what a way to start the day. Think you can manage that as your new morning routine?"
I scrambled up off the floor. "Erm, yeh I guess, might be in a rush for work if you're not up early enough".
"Ah don't worry, I've got an idea for that". Without further comment on the matter he went to watch TV. I stood there for a moment. Unsure what to make of the morning. I was also sad that I'd not been given chance to come. I did consider excusing myself to go have a wank. But thought best save it. If I didn't want to look frigid, or vanilla, I'd want to stay horny. But how hard could it be to please Antony's needs?
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Tony being a notoriously crazy driver. He will get you where you need to be but to him speed limits are suggestions. Hey, if the road is free why not revv a bit?
With Peter on, Tony will not compromize safety. He still goes with the flow but is more careful and attentive and doesn't speed as much. Alright, he still speeds much more than the average driver but only when it is safe to do so.
"Shit..." Tony mutters when the light turns yellow. He could still stop but that would mean immediate breaking and he thinks 'fuck it'.
"Mr Stark!"
"Old greens, Pete." The man waves his hand. "Everyone does it."
"You're really bending the rules."
Once they cross the intersection, Tony hears a siren and sees a flash.
"Oh shit." Peter says and Tony bops him on the forehead.
"Hey! You never tell me off for cursing!"
"Yeah, well, a police man is coming our way, we don't want to appear anything more than law abiding citizens."
Tony rolls his window down and smiles slightly.
"Good evening, sir. Did you notice you ran a red light."
"It was still yellow when I entered the intersection-"
"It turned red while you were there."
"I know, my bad, I am usually more careful."
Peter snickers a bit despite his anxiety. Or maybe due to his anxiety. He glares at the boy, tells him wordlessly to shut up.
"Driver's licence, please."
Tony hands him the plastic card and the officer raises an eyebrow.
"What?" Tony asks. "I live here, you know."
"Yeah, I know. I noticed the resemblance but I thought-"
"Yeah, that's the thing with meeting celebrities. You never think it will happen to you."
"Well, I love what you do as Iron Man."
He nods and smiles, his gesture more genuine than before.
"Wait here, please."
Tony sighs and sink back against the seat.
"... How long will you be in jail?"
"In- what? Kid, you don't go to jail for what I did!"
"But I've heard-"
"Look, I've not gotten a ticket in- what- two years. This was just one tiny mistake. They won't even fine me and if they do it's not the end of the world."
And what would you know, the officer comes back with his licence.
"Okay, everything was in order. Given your record and the nature of the mistake I'm going to let you go with a warning but if this happens again-"
"I will assure you, I'll be more attentive in the future."
But the officer is no longer watching him. Instead his eyes are glued on Peter. Or rather-
"Your kid isn't wearing a seat belt."
"What?" Tony jerks his head to the right and to the innocent looking child with no seat belt. "Peter!"
"You left in such a hurry and I had a hard time clasping it-"
"You must always wear a seat belt in a car! That is the number one rule!"
"I know and I always do but I think it got jammed or-"
"You should have told me! Screamed! Something to let me know!"
"I didn't want to bother you-"
"You're definitely getting a ticket now."
"What?!" Tony snaps and points at Peter. "He is the one not following rules! Why am I being punished?"
"Because you're a driver and he is a minor under your care. You should have made sure the seat belt was on."
"I'm sorry, Mr Stark." Peter's face was red with embarrassment. "I can pay it."
"Oh, you will, kiddo." Tony glares at him. "You're in lab scrubbing duty for a month."
Peter cringes. Tony's lab was huge, with the tables and delicate surface cleaning it was a real pain. "Can't I just give you money."
Tony gives him a blank look and shows him the ticket. Peter pales at the sum.
"Umm..." he does some mental calculations, adds up his allowance and the worth of his Star Wars figurines. Yeah, there was no way he was going to get the money in a reasonable time. "Lab duty?" he smiles at his mentor and Tony rolls his eyes but his look is now much softer.
"Well, I guess I made the right choice. A couple of hundred dollars versus you flying through the windshield... I've faced worse odds."
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A HARROW THE NINTH FANMIX
I know I’ve put out a number of fan mixes at this point but this is my favorite one.
Track list:
New York (St. Vincent)
Moderation (Florence + The Machine)
Heavy Cross (Gossip)
How To Be Eaten By A Woman (The Glitch Mob)
Ballad of the Thin Man (Bob Dylan)
Spent Gladiator 2 (The Mountain Goats)
Foreign Object (The Mountain Goats)
Drive It Like You Stole It (Glitch Mob)
Cosmic Love (Florence + The Machine)
Francesca (Hozier)
Wear Black (The Mountain Goats)
I'm about to get VERBOSE under the cut, join me if you want a deep dive on why I chose these songs. Or just listen to the playlist and draw your own conclusions :)
NEW YORK (St. Vincent)
You know how Gideon's death kind of haunts the entire 'Harrow the Ninth' narrative, because you can't stop thinking about it even though Harrow doesn't remember it and the book isn't mentioning it? But it's so present, the negative space in the story creating a very clear Gideon-shaped outline?
This song is first to set the tone for the playlist in the same way. It's a good song about grieving someone who fit with you in a way nobody else did or ever could.
It's about the bits that go:
you're the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me /can stand me /forgives me
It makes me a little crazy. Especially the forgiveness bit. Kind of brings forward the depth of what Harrow lost when Gideon died.
MODERATION (Florence and the Machine)
Like a fine wine, this song pairs excellently with thinking about harrow giving herself a lobotomy.
Want me to love you in moderation? Do I look moderate to you?
I've never heard of anyone loving someone LESS moderately than harrow when she carved up her own brain about a girl. Someone said in a tumblr post somewhere that 'most people just get breakup bangs'. YEAH THEY DO. but that's our mistake for thinking harrow was going to do anything other than the most insane possible thing.
This song is ominous and heavy, evokes religion and fear, the concept of love used as a threat.
It's perfect.
Actually let's talk real quick about the religion part. This isn't going to be hugely cohesive but it's important to me and I think you'll get what I'm going for:
The lines:
Bow your head in the house of God Little girl, who do you think you are
Can be read like the narrative voice is taking on the persona of God, loving in the powerful and unknowable way God might love. Loving in a way you have no say over. Interpreting Harrow's actions with this lens is like a fucked up mirror, consider: Gideon spent her childhood beaten down by a heavily religious society, the figurehead of which was Harrow herself, beating Gideon down sometimes literally but more importantly, figuratively. Now Harrow continues the role of religiously executing power over Gideon's experience, this time with absolutely ferocious love.
Also LAST THING I PROMISE but there's a quiet vein of self-hatred in this song, lurking just behind all of it. A real judgement of the self for having this power and impulse.
So it's perfect.
HEAVY CROSS (Gossip)
Actually you know what lets have MORE songs about harrow's lobotomy. It's a rich vein.
Most of the songs on this playlist make me a little crazy, and this is absolutely one of them. The manic, dangerous, committed tone (and religious undertones) continues from moderation to heavy cross - but what heavy cross brings to the table is the CHOICE.
We can play it safe, or play it cool Follow the leader or make up all the rules Whatever you want, the choice is yours So choose I checked you If it's already been done, undo it
THE CHOICE
And also, oh my god, "it's already been done, undo it". This song made the cut just for that line, and over time I just liked it more and more on here.
I'm skipping over saying a lot of the obvious stuff as I talk about these songs - assuming you're already connecting "whatever you want, the choice is yours, so choose" to harrow making the choice to stop the lyctoral process. And choosing to undo what's already been done. Right? Are we both there already? Cool just making sure.
HOW TO BE EATEN BY A WOMAN (The Glitch Mob)
I'm not done with songs about harrow's lobotomy yet. But this one's a little about Gideon
Ok also I feel the need to say - YES I did put a six minute electronic instrumental in a fanmix, but give it a chance!! It's evocative.
I went to the glitch mob specifically when I was putting this playlist together because I wanted music that felt confusing and dark and bad (the good kind of bad, in the way music can be). Something to mirror the way it felt to read harrow the ninth.
And then I saw there was a song titled 'how to be eaten by a woman' and I added it to the playlist without even listening to it first. And then I listened to it 50 times and now it's going to be on my Spotify top 100 I just know it.
Anyways this one stayed in the playlist as an homage to the confusing and inarticulate things that happened to Gideon and Harrow, as Gideon both was and was not quite eaten by a woman.
BALLAD OF A THIN MAN (Bob Dylan)
Ballad of a thin man is my all time favorite Bob Dylan song and it is exactly the same amount of stupidly ominously confusing as the events of harrow the ninth.
Now could I go on and on about this song?
Yes, and I will.
I’ve never found a source concretely sharing what the fuck this song is actually about. To me, it’s about being confused, outside, and alone. To Wikipedia and opinionated blogs it’s about the mainstream man encountering counter-culture, maybe queer culture. Sometimes theorists think it's about sex but there's not really enough evidence to say concretely.
In the context of this fanmix it’s about not knowing what the fuck is going on because you forgot you gave yourself a lobotomy.
Also frankly sometimes the way this whole series is written feels like one of the interactions described in this song:
You raise up your head and you ask, ‘is this where it is?’ And somebody points to you and says, ‘it’s his.’ And you say, ‘what’s mine?’ And somebody else says, ‘well, what is?’ And you say ‘oh my god, am I here all alone?’
I mean what the fuck is that about??
Like you're trying to have a conversation, but the person you're talking to is clearly having a completely different conversation and is not interested in explaining themselves one bit. Which is something that's happened many times in Harrow the Ninth.
And I mean - the REFRAIN -
You know something's happening here But you don't know what it is Do you, Mr. Jones.
I love that the song speaks directly at Mr. Jones, that he's a specifically named man rather than a general figure.
It makes the tone of the song so cruel and damning - you, Mr. Jones, are dumb as fuck and alone. You think you're smart, you're used to being smart and knowing what's happening, but you don't anymore. You're a lost idiot now. And nobody is going to help you.
Harrow is Mr. Jones that's what I'm saying. Do you get it. Do you agree. She's Mr. Jones.
SPENT GLADIATOR 2 (The Mountain Goats)
This is the title track because nothing else sums up the wretchedness of harrows existence on the mithraeum like this does:
Stay in the game. Just try to play through the pain Like a fighter who’s been told it’s finally time for him to quit Show up in shining colors and then stand there and get hit
I barely know what else to say about it.
The next song in this playlist is also a mountain goats song. As a best practice I think it’s a little gauche to put two songs by one artist back to back on a playlist, but these two absolutely HAVE to be back to back.
The reason is the joy I feel coming out of this song, and hearing the first couple notes of the next song, and thinking… yeah, it’s time to go fucking crazy.
FOREIGN OBJECT (The Mountain Goats)
This one is about the time harrow stabs someone in the eye with a foreign object
I personally will stab you in the eye with a foreign object
It's about harrow jamming her own teeth into the saint of duty's eyes, and also about the soup thing. This song is about being backed into a corner and fighting desperately with unexpected weapons.
Fun fact, the song itself was written explicitly about wrestling - which means that the term 'foreign object' should be translated in the wrestling context, meaning an object from outside of the ring. For example, a classic folding chair. So, considering this, we must admit that harrow doesn't actually literally use a foreign object. She uses her own teeth and bone marrow. Her objects are downright domestic.
But I think we can all agree she's got the spirit.
DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT (The Glitch Mob)
OK OK I PUT A SECOND SIX MINUTE LONG ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTAL ON THE FANMIX!!!! BUT -
really there's so much general bad feeling happening in harrow the ninth that having chaotic instrumentals feels like the only way to even START to capture it.
So here's a song about Gideon waking up in Harrow's body and trying to figure out that weird and upsetting event while also fighting some fucked up bees and learning some weird stuff about her parents and also dying like at least 4 times while all this was happening.
COSMIC LOVE (Florence and the Machine)
I like my playlists to be a bit chronological - it's an urge I can never quite thwart, I love to mirror a narrative. So all the songs about Gideon are at the end of the playlist, when she shows up. Man, we all missed her. I missed her. Didn't you miss her??
The stars, the moon they have all been blown out you left me in the dark
I don't have that much to say about this one, I find it incredibly self-evident. I'll make up for how fucking long-winded I was about 'Moderation' and 'Ballad of a Thin Man' by cutting this short.
FRANCESCA (Hozier)
Some of these songs are so exactly what I want on this playlist that I actually have LESS to say about them, because I think you can interpret the same things I'm interpreting just by listening to the song.
So listen to the song and then lets be insane about it together!!
This is about Gideon's sacrifice, and Harrow's rejection of that sacrifice. And Gideon's butthurt feelings about that.
My life was a storm, since I was born How could I fear any hurricane? If someone asked me at the end I'd tell them put me back in it (Darling) I would do it again.
I mean
"I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me."
Are you insane about it yet? I'm insane about it.
WEAR BLACK (The Mountain Goats)
The playlist is coming to an end.
Let's let ourselves be gently outro'd by the soft waves of John Darnielle sharing with us what it means to carry mourning with you throughout your life.
Wear black wherever I go Wear black wherever you are
#tlt#harrow the ninth#htn#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#my art#should i have a fanmix tag by now#fanmix#sorry i forgot about this for a while its been a weird month and i lost some steam but its very good#Spotify
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HELLO :DDD! (If reqs are open) Can I request like, basically any characters you want somehow-someway on some Takemichi type shi, going to the past and seeing their s/o but as a child(like, 8 or or 7). I feel like it’d be a fun concept to experiment with, especially with Koko
(Also, if you take anons, can I be 🍀 anon or 🪄 anon if it’s taken?)
🍀Anon it is! I love it! I've been thinking about how to do this and I hope I've finally got it.
ft: Kokonoi Hajime I couldn't think of any others at the moment that I could spin to make it sound good :p
Being married to a man who seemed overly concerned about how much money he could earn was less than ideal, made worse by the fact that he avoided telling you what he did for a living. Curiosity ate away at you like termites every day. How could you live so freely without a job, and yet Kokonoi still kept you both in a penthouse with a beautiful view? Regardless of your arguments, he'd never tell you and promises to never drop the subject. There were just some things that needed to stay in the dark. Like his tattoo that you always ran your finger over and how he always afforded the silky sheets he kept you embedded in when you thought you were getting the upper hand.
No, he wouldn't let you find out that he was a killer, that he was a dangerous man. Kokonoi dreaded that you could look at him with hatred and disgust. So he keeps it hidden. At least, he thought he could. You were inquisitive, nosey even, and you always found out what he was trying to hide. You were searching again. For what, you weren't quite sure anymore. It started by looking for an old game you were sure you had, then for a stack of towels that you left on the couch, and now you were on top of the fridge, searching in the little cubby cabinets. A small scooch this way, and a bit of a shift that way caused you to fall from the fridge. It was an awful fall, and you slammed your head on the ground pretty hard. "What the hell..." Pain throbbed in the back of your skull as if someone were knocking on a heavy door and hoping to be heard across the road.
A nice breeze ruffled your shirt, your elbow popping slightly as you sat up and looked around. There was no mistaking the huge school building in front of you, or the students around you. You had just been on top of your fridge, hadn't you? Unless you fell and had a whole unconscious episode of your life and marriage.
"Y/n? You alright? How did you fall?" Chiyoko, an old friend of yours, was hanging over you. Her dark, purposefully fluffy hair with thin curtain bangs swung slowly over your head. Chiyoko had always been pretty, even to other girls in the school, but you couldn't help but laugh at her. "That hairstyle is so 2003." Softly grunting as you stood revealed your old school uniform. Shorter, paler, cotton clothes instead of the expensive things Koko had bought you earlier in the month...
"Maybe because it is 2003, asshole." There was no mistaking the annoyance in your friends voice as she slapped your head, "And you have the same style."
That couldn't be right, you had just celebrated Koko turning thirty! She handed you your school bag and you rifled through for your phone. Everything was old, outdated but new for the time. Maybe you were losing your mind. There was no way in hell that you had gone back in time!
"I, uhm..." Students filed past you as you tried to make sense of everything, "I need to go find someone..."
Kokonoi told you once that in his teen years he skipped school often and hung out at some sketchy places. It took all day and a few close encounters with some less than savory groups before you arrived at the last spot. It was the last known location he'd ever told you about. Warehouses bunched together as they held nothing but empty air and gang fights. In the future they would become a fresh food market that you visited often to make Koko's favorite dessert. Right now they were dark and creepy and made you scared for the first time as you felt a heavy hand on your shoulder.
"Now why would a little thing like yourself be searching for a Black Dragons member?" A deep voice accompanied the firm hand on your bag strap. Tall, that's all you noticed as you craned your neck to see who was behind you. Tall, angry looking, and definitely a dangerous teenager. "I'm just looking for Kokonoi Hajime..." The kids eyes widened as you spoke, as if he couldn't believe you had the audacity to speak up and say what you were doing.
"And what do you need me for?" The familiar I'm better than you drawl of your future husband broke through the silence. Kokonoi looked so different. Black hair instead of white, the same lines shaved into the side of his hair. During your marriage, since you hardly had time to see each other, he would allow you to fix his hair and have at least that little bit of time together. Kokonoi looked cute in his younger years, as opposed to the intimidating and handsome way he looked in the future. "I..." And it finally dawned on you that you hadn't even met Koko until 2006, "Uhm...I don't know..."
"Then you should leave." His kind smile hid the malicious intent he always had. As soon as Koko's hand touched your elbow you jerked upwards.
It was dark out, all the lights in the house on as Koko's private doctor crouched next to you. There was no more pain in your head, despite the heavy fall and the bruises on your arms from possibly hitting more than one thing on the way down. "Are you alright, darling?" Kokonoi was leaning against the counter, gun trained on the doctor, "He can't leave until you are."
#tokyo revengers#x reader#tokyo rev#tokyo rev x reader#kokonoi hajime x yn#kokonoi hajime#kokonoi x reader
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Do you know of any good booster gold reading lists for a beginner to his comics? You're converting me
I've made a few videos about with reading lists for him on tiktok they're in my comic recommendations playlist but also like I fully understand not wanting to open that app
there's this thread on twitter that gives specific issues so you don't have to read decades of comics this is a good way to get an idea of the character quickly. It's a fast way of reading but I find the skipping between books tedious and not as much fun
there's also this very helpful very exhaustive spreadsheet of every appearance of Ted and Booster! Very helpful, but you don't have to read everything for sure
And then I'm going to put my own personal reading list under the cut and it's a lot so remember you don't have to read everything and there's no shame in skipping around!
Must reads
Booster Gold 1986— This is the first appearance of Booster Gold, obviously you've gotta read it. It's only 25 issues and is legitimately such a fun and interesting read. The way information about him is slowly revealed is good I wish I could have been there when these were releasing
Justice League International/America— some people read this as they read Booster Gold (refer to the twitter thread I linked if you want to do that) I didn't and I wasn't confused when reading it. I kinda like reading it all without switching to the other book. This is a huge stretch of comics and I'm not saying you should read it all... but I'm also saying it's a very good era of comics and I enjoyed it a lot. If you only want Booster related issue refer to the spreadsheet.
Countdown to Infinite Crisis— woah big skip in time! Let's just say after JLA ends Booster and the team have a... controversial stretch of appearances. Countdown is just one big long single issue and it's beautiful, gotta read it.
The OMAC Project— this is the fallout of countdown and I really enjoy Booster being angry and it helps set up Infinite Crisis which I guess you should also read but I'm really take it or leave it with that event.
52 weeks— (not to be confused with new 52 I made that mistake) This book works surprising well for having four authors and so many characters to juggle. Booster is a huge player in this event and it's very enjoyable to read as a fan of him. This event also leads directly to his second solo
Booster Gold 2007—this shit fucks so hard!! I love Booster as "the greatest hero you've never heard of" he has so much character growth, fun stories, and an amazing supporting cast! The numbers can be weird if you're read it on a certain pirating website so start with 1 through 6 then go to 0 back to 7 through 10 then issue one million then back to 11
Justice League Generation Lost—this is basically the new JLI but with Jaime Reyes as the Blue Beetle because Ted is gone. It's a very fun dynamic with this new old team and it works so so well especially Booster and Jaime's friendship. This one I do recommend reading with the Booster Gold solo so after issue 32 of Booster Gold, start Generation Lost and basically switch back and further every issue
Please Read Them For Me
Extreme Justice— this is an aggressively 90s run and is largely ignored by the comic community and canon BUT I SWEAR IT'S GOOD! Booster is essentially in an iron lung and he is not handling it well. Booster got flattened by JLI quite a bit and I really do think this run added some depth back to him
Time Masters 1990—Booster is barely in this, but trust me Rip Hunter is important and it's a very fun and interesting time travel adventure with a really cool group of characters
Time Masters: Vanishing Point—No connection to Time Masters 90 except that Rip is here. But Booster has a lot of really good moments in this. Ignore the Batman bits this is truly just a story about Rip and Booster
Origin Story revisited
(Both BG 86 and BG 07 establish and revisit the origin story so you'll get to them as you're reading)
Secret Origins 1986 #35—honestly a pretty standard origin story but I really like how this story highlights Booster's relationship to his mom and sister
Justice League Quarterly #10—I hope you're reading the quarterly and annual issues when reading JLI because they are some of the best stories but this one in particular is just beautiful
Action Comics 2016 #993-998 (Booster Shot)— Really this is more of a funny action packed and surprisingly heartfelt team-up time travel adventure with Superman and Booster, but this does provide additional context to Booster's origin story and I like it a lot. This story is really really so good
Just Plain Fun
Martian Manhunter #24— Booster and Ted steal all of J'onn's. oreos. this is an incredibly iconic issue, it's hilarious and just the kinda hijinks you want from the boys
Blue and Gold— I personally think this run is deeply out of character and a little too "lol memes" for me, but it does have some good like Trixie coming back and seeing Ted and Booster together again
Blue Beetle 2023—issue 7 is the main Booster story but he has other appearances in this run read the whole thing it's short and so good actually just read every blue beetle solo. It's a really visually beautiful time travel story and I love Booster and Jaime being friends even now that Ted is back
Batman Brave and the Bold #13-15— it's a fun time shenanigans story with the Jurassic Justice League what's not to love
DC's 'Twas the 'Mite Before Christmas— a cute christmas story with Booster and Rip and what I cling to in hopes that Rip will return to DC comics soone
Harley Quinn 2016 #70-74— this is a controversial take but I like Booster and Harley together, as a temporary couple at least and definitely as friends and partners in being silly. This story gives Booster an unexpected amount of emotional intelligence and it's nice
#booster gold#ted kord#blue beetle#rip hunter#dc comics#comic recommendations#comic reading list#please reblog i spent way too long on formatting
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Lena is so screweddddd
I think Gwen has made a mistake but not in the 'shes stupid' kind of way
Gwen is a bit oblivious sometimes and definitely not prepared for the horrors but she's not stupid. she knows now how bad things would be if it was only her dealing with all this. By giving that flash drive to Trevor she's basically thrown Lena under the bus. Lena could be fired or worse.
Someone is sending Gwen this information. the 'anonymous third party' seems to know a damn lot about Lena. 20 WHOLE YEARS OF PROOF. that's a long time! :D they've been watching her and clearly they want her out of power but cant do it themselves so they are using gwen to do it. but if Lena is just kicked out, the OIAR is SCREWED. Lena is the only one who knows what's she's doing and even she is barely holding the place together. Gwen knows this. I understood at first why Gwen wanted Lena gone but now she knows the true horrors of what the OIAR does and how dangerous it is and Gwen hasn't mentioned wanting Lena's job since she learnt about this. Even if Gwen hates Lena, she knows its better to have someone who knows what they are doing in the midst. getting rid of her to deal with things alone is a dangerous move and Gwen wouldn't do that. Gwen's motives have changed a lot. She originally wanted Lena's job, then she wanted to know more, then she had a period of time she didn't really want anything and she was not content but she was putting up with Lena cause she knew the OIAR needs her. now she wants her out of power again? why.
WELL
I think it's the last email she got. this third party sent her an email last episode and suddenly now Gwen is using her blackmail and giving it to a government official? she could have done that at any time but didn't.
this is only a theory but I'm guessing this third party has basically said if Lena is out of power, things will still be okay. SOMEONE will take over and handle things. They have to be saying getting rid of Lena isn't dangerous cause they have preparations. Gwen KNOWS she can't handle it alone. I CANT STRESS HOW STUPID GETTING RID OF LENA WOULD BE IF THEY DONT HAVE A BACKUP. they have to. I think Gwen's maybe being manipulated here. Clearly this person does not like Lena at all. it just confuses me why they are only doing this now. they aren't related to the archivist Alice and Sam released cause they've been watching for so long. they have to be involved with the cameras watching them instead. the German source code. what Colin is losing his mind over basically. 20 years of proof. 20 years to do something. but they decided now to send this stuff to Gwen and push her in the right direction to give the evidence to Trevor. they are very good at timing things well. giving Gwen the information at the right time.
basically I think this person might be trying to run the OIAR but they need Lena out first and they are just straight up pupetting Gwen.
the only thing I can't figure out is it they are 'good' or 'bad'. what are their intentions after Lena is gone. what have they promised Gwen. who are they that they have convinced Gwen NOT having the only one who actually knows the full truths of the horrors there to help is better than having her
Gwen. I think you've made a huge mistake and Lena is so screwed. it's clear Lena doesn't actually have much power. the government shoves all this on her and just expects her to get it dealt with. they don't actually care and damn Trevor didn't even know what they do at the OIAR but he did have a go at Lena when she did something the government didn't like. she's being put under so much pressure to deal with all this alone and not even the government will help her.
I've said this since day 1 but I will defend Lena Kelley with my entire life. she's trying so damn hard but its physically impossible and she's getting in trouble for things she can't control and now Gwen might have just made it a million times worse
Gwen I love you to death but that was dumb. Lena I'm so sorry but you're so screwed
thank you for listening to my Lena Kelley rambles part 3629838495
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#gwen bouchard#gwendolyn bouchard#tmagp thoughts#lena kelley#the magnus institute#lena kelley theory#lena needs some therapy and quickly#lena kelley my love
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You should make hestia headcanons, it has been said that Hestia has a very similar personality to Rhea
damnn i was so sure that i already made hc's for Hestia, but i think i just imagined it from reading ur ask several times since i received a year ago. anyways, sorry for the delay. i will now try and muster some hc's for Hestia:
the classic portrayal of Hestia is the reserved, quiet, "neutral", kind eldest sister of the Big 6.
honestly, this interpretation makes sense since most gods get themselves into well-known myths by having "huge" personalities. myths aren't interesting when they're about someone who doesn't do anything except smile and wave.
so, for the most part, i'm inclined to agree with the general sentiment of that characterisation.
HOWEVER, i've also read, once, an incredibly unique take on Hestia that painted her as a bit of a villain in that she's a bystander to all of the nonsense that goes on in Olympus. she's witness to the abuse, cheating, lies... and she doesn't really do anything to prevent it.
i think this "passivity" could be explained by the fact that Hestia can literally not be pulled away from her hearth. it's her primary duty. some scholars have noted that Hestia's absence from most myths is due to her having to maintain the fire. and i think that makes sense.
in my hc's, i also think it's partly because Hestia doesn't take "sides". she's for the peace.
i have a hc that Hestia was a few months old before Kronos gave in to paranoia and swallowed her... and baby gods aren't the same as baby humans, so i think perhaps she has memories (not CLEAR ones, but vague recollections of both her early joys AND fears) of what it was like before Kronos turned bad. and to her, THAT was the worst possible thing to ever occur.
so in comparison, Olympus' arguments are mere trivialities. she doesn't feel the need to interfere because she's knows that everyone will get over it.
yet, when it does come time for serious things-- e.g., Hera raising Typhon against Zeus, i think then she might step in and voice her opinions.
so, personality wise, i think Hestia is quite reserved, she's not really soft at all, she's actually quite stoic and people mistake that for indifference, but it's really just her way of keeping the peace.
another hc i have is that the siblings she gets along best with are Zeus and Hades.
for Zeus, he's the King, and the "de facto" eldest sibling. even though technically Hestia is the oldest, he sort of just acts like it, and people generally refer to him as such. i think Zeus consults Hestia on a lot of things. mostly he just talks and she listens, but on occasion, she probs has some sage advice.
with Hades, i think he has a very similar personality to her. i really love the idea of Hestia giving Hades some of her eternal flames to light up the Underworld when he is first given it as his domain... it's just something to remind him that even though he is far away from his siblings, he is still "at home" with his family, he's still connected.
the only myth i can think of where Hestia has a main role is the one where Poseidon and Apollo are vying for her hand. i honestly think Hestia would have been simply amused but not at ALL tempted by their affections. i think Apollo was very young (like the equivalent of being 17 or something) so she knew he was just being stupid and had no idea what he really wanted in life, and i'd have to imagine this was before Poseidon got married to Amphitrite, and i mean, i cannot think of any good reasons to want a relationship with Poseidon LOL.
so yeah,, i think Hestia swears off romance partly because of the trauma she has with her own father and how he treated their mother, but also because, like the other godly virgins in Olympus, having a relationship would distract her from the pivotal task of maintaining the hearth/home of the gods.
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Fortune favors the Bold ⛓
TDI!Duncan x Juvie Bestfriend! Reader ⛓
Chapter Twelve: Bubbling up
Put your head on my shoulder
Hold me in your arms, baby.
"Todays challenge will test your minds, your teamwork, and your skills in the kitchen." Chris had the campers gather on the beach and Duncan groaned, you sucked at cooking, a lot.
"You'll be cooking a three course meal, and serving it to me for tasting. The winners will get a reward the losers will send somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef." Chris put a hand on his hip.
"To cook you need ingredients. Every morning a truck brings us food. Today's task starts there." A truck pulled itself out of the waters and you saw it was lined with food on the inside.
"We could do a killer italian theme." Geoff suggested. "Hello, head chef." Duncan smiled wide. "Seriously?" Geoff smiled clearly happy with his role. "We get it you love each other." You pushed the two out of the way and started grabbing food out of the truck.
Geoff laughed and Duncan rolled his eyes. Then you all got to work grabbing the food Geoff told you to get.
You all met in your kitchen holding various food items. "Okay so we have to make a three course meal and there's seven of us. So I say we all team up." Geoff suggested.
You had to smile at how kind he sounded, he was a good guy but some people just couldn't be in charge. Too nice.
You, and Duncan had desert duty which you heavily protested. "Last time I tried to make oatmeal, Tarun it turned out burnt. Hell, I've tried to make you hot cocoa before and somehow made it curdle." You just wanted to sit out of the challenge all together.
"That's because your father was a terrible cook, idiot. I'll teach you." Duncan rolled his eyes and wrapped an apron around you before you could say anything.
As the challenge progressed Duncan had you roll out dough. "Doll, I love you but your not even rolling the outside of it. It'll have huge edges and a paper thin middle." Duncan nicely critqued you. You stuck your tongue out.
He rolled his eyes and got to work fixing your mistake. He leaned over your back his chest hitting you as he put his arms around your making you roll into the correct spots. You giggled, but to his surprise you were blushing like an idiot.
Geoff snapped a picture.
---
|Trending on X right now|
#THEWAYHEHOLDSHER-
#obliviousidiots<3
#whenhecancook
#meantforeachother
#"illteachyou"brbsobbing
---
You didn't notice when Geoff winked at Duncan, but you did notice when Harold came into the kitchen wearing a pair of red underwear... and no shorts.
You gave the redhead one look and glared at Duncan. "I'm going to kill myself." You hissed.
"You'd never. You'd miss me too much." Duncan stuck his tongue out smirking. "Keep that tongue out much longer and I'll cut it off." You muttered going back to rolling the dough. Duncan quickly closed his mouth with a small smirk.
Geoff wanted to keep up with the classy italian theme so he had some old music playing in the background. The blonde also had made sandwhiches and when Harold had bit into his, he had spit underwear out much to Courtney's disgust.
Duncan pulled that trick on a bunch of dudes in juvie, frequently.
So it was to no surprise when you hit him in the back of the head. "أيها الأحمق، هل تريد الفوز بهذا التحدي أم لا؟ أقسم أنني سأدعوك بأمي إذا حاولت شيئًا آخر. توقف عن التركيز على رد الجميل لهارولد وابدأ في التركيز على التحدي أو ساعدني يا إلهي، تارون." You whispered in his ear (luckily the cameras picked it up). "Don't call my mom, doll. I'll stop." Duncan muttered looking a bit ashamed.
"Then focus on the challenge." You hissed.
---
You put the canollies in the oven and washed your hands. All that was needed to be done is the pasta sauce which Bridgette was working on.
Geoff, DJ, and Harold who was now wearing PJ's were talking about the dish pretty calmly to your surprise.
You were sitting on the countertop watching the people around you. Courtney was advising Bridgette on her tomato to water ratio, and Sadie was taking a picture of the meals to send to Katie.
"Put your head on my shoulder."
"Hold me in your arms, baby."
Duncan held out his hand to dance. You rolled your eyes taking it all the same. "I'm sorry I was a dickhead to Harold." He said not sounding all that sorry. "He deserved it, so it's fine." You smirked lightly punching his shoulder.
"This was Leo's favorite song." He commented quietly. "Was that the guard who always gave me pudding?" You asked with a small smile.
"No that was Jonah." Duncan quietly laughed as you both swayed together to the music. "Then which one was Leo?" You asked mildly confused.
"Squeeze me oh-so-tight."
"Show me that you love me too."
"He was the one who tased the dude with the blue hair on his first day." Duncan explained. "Oh! Dickface Leo!" You said remembering now. "He's the one that always took my extra pudding." You rolled your eyes.
"Mhm." Duncan smiled.
Sadie snapped a picture.
---
Sadie to Katie
S: *picture attached*
K: AW I LOVE THEM TOGETHER ROOTIN FOR THEM
S: ME TOOO
---
Duncan and you stayed like that for a while. Your head leaning against his chest as you stared at your feet swaying to the music. Duncan had his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin ontop of your head as you slow danced together.
You fit together like puzzle pieces.
---
Chris LOVED your team's food. Since DJ and Bridgette were definetely the more likeable ones on your team, Geoff decided to have them serve it too Chris.
Apparently, according to the blonde girl, Owen had devoured his teams plate.
---
You guys won dinner under the stars. Which honestly you could care less for. You would've been happy with hotdogs by a campfire. But instead you watched Duncan throw sushi into Geoff's mouth from five feet.
It was fun.
Sorta.
---
You and the girls dragged the tipsy boys back to the cabins. Once you got back you heard Heather berating Linsday for leaving her in the freezer. You had stepped out of the boys side of the cabin after tucking Duncan in and heard the words-
"For once in you pathetic life stop being such a ditzy bimbo blonde, and do something right!" Heather hissed at the girl who looked close to tears.
Leshawna was about to say something but this girl from the killer bass came up to defend the blonde.
"Okay just because no one likes your stuck-up rich white girl ass, ain't no reason to act like such a god damn bitch." Damn this girl must've had a death wish.
Leshawna watched as Heather's eye twitched and wanted to cackle.
"Go the fuck back to your cabin little miss crazy. I saw what you did to that intern." Heather hissed back getting in the girls face. "Then you know what happens when people call me crazy." The girl from the killer bass had this creepy smirk plastered on her face and Heather paled.
Y/N walked away not before giving Lindsay a hug. "Tell me if she doesn't stop being an ass." The girl whispered to the blonde who smiled gratefully.
Then the ex-con dissapeared back to her side of the camp.
Leshawna smiled. "I for one, love her." The girl laughed and Gwen agreed. "Hell yeah." The goth girl gave her friend a fistbump and Heather let out a frusterated scream. "Her cabin is over there! She shouldn't have even came over here." She whined.
"I'm glad she did." Leshawna muttered causing Gwen to laugh.
#queer writers#tdi#total drama#duncan#total drama island#queer artist#duncan x reader#total drama au#fanfic#writing#tdi noah#tdi fanart#tdi 2023#td izzy#total drama fanart#tdi duncan x reader#td fanart#duncan tdi#heather tdi#lindsay tdi
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