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starryletters · 1 year ago

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gojo; friends to lovers headcanons!

notes : set in 2006, reader being silly and a bit dense, gojo falls first and you fall just as hard , fluff! suguru and shoko mentioned bc i love their friendgroup🫶

a/n : eep my first (published) piece of writing! im so excited, and i hope people like it!!! this isn't the most polished, but i wanted to start off with something a little more simple ( ◡‿◡ *) anywhoo satoru is the boyfriend ever!

you met him when you joined the jujutsu high second years aka geto shoko and gojo!

and gojo IMMEDIATELY decided to annoy the shit out of you

but like in an endearing way (that's what he thought, at least)

surprisingly, you actually found him funny, and bantering with him back and forth quickly became your favorite part of every day.

he really liked how you were able to keep up with him and how easy it was to talk to you about anything and everything. no matter what he had to say, you had a reply (or an insult) ready to go.

satoru's a really physically affectionate person in general and he was over the moon when you didnt seem to mind how he randomly slung his arm around your shoulder or how he liked to fall asleep with his head in your lap. (i could tie to this whole thing to his infinity and talk about how sad it is for someone that shows love through physival affection to experience smth so traumatic that they put a LITERAL barrier between them and others preventing all forms of touch but..i wont!)

it wasn't anything romantic at first! (i love platonic physical affection, okay?)

but there were small moments where you felt his touch and felt such a warmth in your heart. you had pure adoration for him [and if you ever caught his stare, you would know he adored you the same.]

anywhoo! you always thought he was attractive because i mean, look at him

but you never really saw him as a romantic prospect. at least not until you talked to him and got to know him. which you told shoko later on, and she called you a freak of nature for it because "usually he has the opposite effect on people"

there wasn't really a distinct moment you can remember where you developed feelings for him. the realization totally caught you by surprise!

you were hanging out with your fellow second years after school, and gojo made some dumb dad joke, at which only he laughed (of course), but you glanced at him from the side and his laugh!!! it was so beautiful!!! like, why are you enchanted by this LOSER right now???

either way, that's when you noticed that maybe that feeling you got in your stomach whenever gojo touched you may not have been entirely platonic. horrified and also a teensy bit excited at your discovery you look away and try to make your blushing face cool down. cool, this was definitely gonna ruin one of the best relationships and friendships you've ever had! gojo knew geto and shoko before you, so if you ever confessed, it would probably ruin your friendship with them too! cool, cool, very cool.

of course, that was total bs, but whatever you were anxious at, your newfound feelings and relationships are confusing, and you maybe (definitely) had a bit of tunnel vision in that moment.

after that (like the smart person you are), you convinced yourself that "well. if i just avoid gojo..the feelings will probably go away, right?"

oh, you poor naive FOOL

first of all, avoiding gojo was no easy feat (just ask nanami)

second of all... by the point you realized your feelings, he was already completely WHIPPED for you

"suguru! did you see? she totally looked at me for two seconds longer than usual today!"

"uh-huh"

"she definitely loves me back, dont you think so too?"

"you're delusional."

"you're my best friend! you're supposed to indulge me in my delusions!"

definitely the type to lay on his stomach and kick his feet in the air while thinking about you

and he NEVER shuts up about you

shoko and geto seriously deserve financial compensation for this and are BAFFLED by the fact that you dont notice how lovestruck he is by you?

so as soon as he realized you stopped replying to his texts like you usually did and you didn't sit next to him anymore so he could lean his head on your shoulder, he was devastated

DEVASTATED

like what did he do????? why does the universe hate him??? ( like he isnt the strongest sorcerer ever?)

you thought you were clever for coming up with your "get rid of feelings for satoru" plan

but no. for days now everywhere you were, suddenly there he was.

you didn't give him the silent treatment or anything you just... kept your distance.

well, you tried anyway

man has no sense of personal space.

"i missed you." he pouts, leaning down and placing his head on your shoulder from behind. "we see each other everyday, thats not enough for you?" you replied, trying to remain calm while he was so SO close to you. "we barely saw each other at all yesterday!" he whines. "i was busy -" "no, you weren't." "yes, i was?" "nuh-uh, " your face contorts into a grimace. "seriously, how old are you?" "sev-" "it was a rhetorical question." he moves from his postion behind you and stands right in front of you. if he wasn't so silly looking, you would probably be intimidated by his towering height.

his face turns serious. "you've been avoiding me." he states, a small pout on his lips. shit, dont look at his lips! "eh..uh..what? no, i'm not! that's crazy talk..." you sputter nervously. he sighs, and puts his hands on your shoulders "are you okay?" he's genuinely concerned for you now. damnit why couldn't he be less likeable?! this was really throwing a wrench in your plan.

"i am..i'm just..uh..argh." you lower your head and massage your temple out of frustration. your heartbeat was going a mile a minute. "i didn't mean to avoid you, satoru." you say in a soft tone. a lie, but you couldn't handle telling him the truth. his face brightens instantly. "i'll forgive you if you pinky promise to never avoid me ever again." he reaches out his pinky. "wow, future me is gonna regret that when you get inevitably annoying.." you chuckle reaching out your hand to interlink your finger with his. this was good, this was normal. you felt normal, platonic, and normal feelings. yep. a bright grin spreads across his pretty face. "although.. you might still have to buy me something sweet to really convince me!" of course. "you're the worst." "you love it!" yeah, you do.

okay, plan b. push it all down and focus on your friendship!

you did really enjoy just being his friend after all..otherwise you wouldn't care so much about ruining your friendship!

so things went back to normal sort of...except for the fact that over the next few months, the romantic tension got worse and worse.

you thought it was just you being delusional when he started holding your hand more and more frequently, freuqently bought you small trimkets and gifts( his reason being " i thought of you!") told you how pretty and cool you looked after missions, even with your hair all messed up and uniform askew. you tried so hard not to read into it even though these things were obviously pretty romantic.

satoru thought he was going insane

"i mean??? am i not being clear enough, suguru? am i being too subtle?"

"i dont think the word subtle really suits you, in any situation ever."

at this point, he was close to giving up. maybe you just didn't like him as much as he liked you?

but then! one late summer night!

the first kiss!

which was sort of out of the blue but also not really, since you'd been pining for each other for a while.

he was invading spending time in your dorm room late at night again like he frequently did. he got real chatty at night. you were both sitting on your bed, and his head was leaning against your shoulder, the soft ends of his hair tickling your neck.

it was around mignight, his voice was low and he spoke in a hushed tone.

"..you know? and then he had the audacity to insult nintendo? like sorry you hate fun, loser? anyways my original point was..." he trails off his voice, getting lower and lower by the end. you turn your head in his direction, expecting to find him asleep. instead, your nose almost bumps against his.

his eyes are..so breathtaking this close, with the moonlight reflecting in his sapphire irises. his snow-white lashes flutter as he glances down at your lips. a silent request.

this moment was so full of tender love while still so quiet. you had never felt anything quite like it before. you nod ever so slightly and softly your lips meet eachother. slotting together like two puzzle pieces, it made something click in your brain. suddenly everything made sense.

after a few moments you pulled back. your face felt hot. it was still quiet. gojos thumb rubs over the back of your hand.

he leans his head back onto your shoulder, positively beaming, he giggled "like i was saying.." he starts again the smile still evident in his voice.

an equally bright grin breaks out on your face. he was not even acknowledging the kiss you two shared. but it felt right that he didn't. this moment felt so warm and so much like satoru. there was no more confusion and no words that needed to be said. you both understood what it meant. you both finally understood what you were.

what you failed to consider was telling your best friends. geto and shoko. the four of you were hanging out and gojo had to leave early for another mission, before he leaves he quickly pecks you on the lips (which to be fair surprised you too) before waving and running off. shoko's eyes were practically bulging out of her head, and getos face couldn't decide between a surprised expression and one of disgust. "what. was that." shoko furtows her brows. "uhh..oh! oh." you couldn't exactly pinpoint what you were supposed to say now. how did you forget to tell them? how did GOJO forget to tell them? granted, it only happened last night, but still... you had assumed he spent the rest of the night lying on his stomach, feet kicking, telling geto every detail. "we're dating?" you reply awkwardly. "damn it!" shoko exclaims, and suguru smiles smugly. odd reactions... that's what you thought until you saw shoko pull out her wallet and hand suguru a big wad of cash. "see? i told you they would figure it out before they turned 25." he chides.

thank you for reading!!! and i hope you liked it! im not sure about this formatting (w/ the tumblr bulleted list. it's like not spaced apart enough, yk?) anyway! im open to constructive criticism, but please be nice im sensitive LOL (ﾉω･､)

#☆ — stars writings #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jjk x reader #jjk #x reader #headcanons #drabble #gojo x you #gojo satoru imagine #jjk imagines

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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago

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clearing my inbox of a variety of asks with text replies, or ones that will get art answers later but that i still figured i could get back to now with simpler responses in the interim.

lots of anons, but i'll ping anyone who i can!

topics include: general nice words + people's theories (thank you!!), dededesign, daroach (sorry), sentient ancient artifacts, magolor (sorry...), whispy woods (SORRY...). there's also a decent scattering of awtdy and clockwork heart tidbits but they're all over the place, and a small collection of increasingly desperate asks hoping bandee will be released from morpho dee 😂

oohh this one is actually super old, sorry that i never got back to it! i get a little overwhelmed by the Nice Words ones sometimes and i'm not sure what to say besides 'thank you!!' because it means a lot to me and 'thank you!' just sometimes feels like it doesn't cut it...?

anyway, i'm very grateful!! i'm thrilled if i could inspire you to try out any constructed-language work of your own!! i'd love to see more of that going on in the kirbyverse so if you ever give it a crack feel free to lmk!

i'm glad you like the full penguin dededesign; quite a few folks seemed to enjoy that actually and i was pleasantly surprised! i haven't drawn that much of most characters besides bandee, to be fair, but the next comic will be about dedede and should answer some of the other questions i've been getting about him too!

i should say that it's likely the totally full penguin design won't make it for the comic, because it's hard to draw the sheer length of their bills from many angles or having the expressiveness i need for dedede, and i really only did that one for funsies. but i'll hopefully find a nice compromise!

aaaa the joy of being mentally unwell about The Characters and The Story. thank you, glad i can be of service! 👍

this is quite perceptive of you to notice and it's definitely something that occurs in the timeline. due to galacta knight's influence (and kirby's altered reputation) visitors and threats- both international and intergalactic- start to think twice before risking an approach.

alas, because daroach appears in the timeline before galacta knight's switch-in occurs, he would already be in contact and friendship with kirby. that unfortunately means he'd meet the same fate as the rest of kirby's existing allies.

@i-only-created-this-to-read a little similar to the above ask, yes, the intergalactic picture of popstar is definitely changed by the presence of a violent, otherworldly warrior and a ruthless hero. i also answered your questions about necrodeus previously and am not sure what else to say about him.

i have confirmed before that dedede is not dead, and more about his scenario and overall role in the plot will be revealed in comics. but i will say that he's a smart guy, despite his silliness, and a loving king. he absolutely came to the same conclusion about the frequency of his own possessions as well, through no small amount of heartbreak.

i definitely headcanon the Lor as sentient; in the light novels, bandee also speaks to her fairly directly. i actually headcanon all the Ancient artifacts as having an amount of sentience (this seem in line with what we've seen in canon, so i don't think it's a reach) and the lor herself seems especially benevolent to me.

our headcanons for the novas are different to yours, though that plays more of a role in the clockwork heart au. i quite enjoy your theories about how the ending might go and you've definitely picked up some details!! i won't confirm or deny anything, but i will say the lor is present in the AU, and that magolor has enough knowledge of artifacts to know that a wish on a wishing star could be a viable solution.

it took a while for folks to start asking me about magolor actually, which i found kind of amusing because he's the deuteragonist (second protagonist, after bandee) of the au!

i do definitely think that canonically magolor lives on the lor starcutter; though he does say he wants to buy a holiday home on popstar! however in awtdy, unlike the dream land four three, magolor's entire timeline is trashed from the get-go by galacta knight's arrival

some of these answers will take me longer to get to as i'll provide them in comics (it should be a fun reveal at least), but i will say: he hates popstar. he hates it there. he'd give just about anything to be anywhere else.

until he meets bandee, of course.

the rest of popstar fare a little better or a little worse at various points in the au, kind of like in the mainline canon timeline. for the most part, galacta knight isn't that interested in most of popstar. he enjoys living there, it's peaceful and undeniably pleasant, and frankly he'd like to continue doing so!

he can be convinced (by kirby, and the maintenance of the lie) to perform care to some of its citizens when necessary- such as rebuilding after a crisis. but in general he minds his business in dream land, and occasionally off-world or interdimensionally with kirby and bandee on missions.

whispy, who also keeps to his own in the woods and is just a cantankerous old tree, is probably fine. at least up until star allies, when he, you know. gets possessed.

@pumpkinnkidd oh absolutely.

@torrentialchaos2 that would be a different story to chrysalis au, i think! one i could write, but haven't. chrysalis au is specifically about bandee, you can't really extract him from it? 😭 but if morpho possessed magolor it would depend on a lot of things: like what is everyone's relationship to him when it happens? i think even when he comes back from his redemption arc, magolor and the gang are friends, but it's not the same as bandee, who is a core member of their unit.

we've already seen what happens when magolor gets possessed and kirby has to Beat His Ass to get him back to normal. and we've seen that when morpho possesses others who are capable fighters, kirby doesn't hold back. so maybe that? magolor is a magical little guy; he's got a better chance of getting spat back out unscathed.

i could however probably write a version of this for magicapple if i wanted, which would be much more emotionally pulverising lmao

@trainerbob23 thank you!! this one took me a bit to respond to sorry, but i'm grateful for the warm welcome! the AUs are definitely my primary investment and i'm glad that folks are enjoying seeing them develop! some of them are connected to each other (awtdy + it's various endings/alts) but others are separate.

i also do have some backstory/lore for starstruck dee, which i'll hopefully get to soon as well. i would say that she is... very much related to stars and the cosmos, yes.

@eliastheownerof0axolotls this one was part of a longer ask (that i've answered part of, and still have another part of in my queue... sorry;; ) but i think this part- especially in terms of kirby- has probably been mostly answered by now! both kirby and dedede have significant roles!

i view dedede as having a mentor-like dynamic with bandee as well as with kirby, and they all care about each other very much! but (especially because they are all adults in my hc) he also absolutely trusts them to handle themselves.

referring to this post and the (cw angst) art at the end. i will hopefully answer some other asks about the clockwork heart au which will satisfy more of its overall premise and timeline and all, but in regards to the peculiar image...

why that picture is completely normal!! bandee is super fine and normal in it and everything is great and good and fine and fine and fine and fine!!! hhahaha!!!

(something very bad is happening, lmao. entirely doomed by the narrative.)

speaking of bandee being doomed by the narrative:

some tags here as well, but i just love the frequency of these...

bandee gets possessed one time and everybody loses it... quick!! when will he get unpossessed!!! save that little guy!!! he's sad so we're sad!! (relatable. everyone is so valid.)

the tags on the main posts about morpho dee are just full of people screaming and crying and being like "NOOO I HATE THIS SM I'M IN PAIN /pos" and it's so good hahahaha

sorry to the folks who hate to see him going through the blender, he's being spun in the microwave at like 90mph on my blog. but don't worry, chrysalis au does have a predictably good ending; though obviously bandee has some capital S Stuff to unpack afterwards!!

🌟⭐✨

aaand i think that's all for now! hopefully if you've been hanging out for an ask for a while you're answer is here, and if not (and possibly even if it is), it's most likely taking me so long because i want to do an answer with art.

i'll try not to let these build up again like this, thank you for your patience!

#won't tag all the characters mentioned but i'll tag the AUs just due to the presence of some asks being about them #or plots or storylines or clarifications. nothing too spoilery... maybe. mostly.#awtdy au #clockwork heart au #chrysalis au #asks

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crushingcasanova · 2 months ago

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im so sorry for the late reply, my dear… in all honesty, there was so much writing i got overwhelmed… BUT i am now here and ready to write for you!!

i also absolutely love talking about musicals, and theatre in general. i could talk about epic for .. a long time. since you haven’t seen it i won’t spoil anything in the story, but the writer is so incredibly smart. ever character has a instrument dedicated to them, and its so interesting to hear the background music, and HEAR what its telling you! there’s certain motifs that tell you different things throughout the story, and humans always have less electric instruments, while gods have electric instruments!! the way he sets everything up is so wonderful.. and the lyrics!! my god the lyrics .. they tell a story unlike any show ive ever seen. the way he alludes to certain things with his lyrics, brings back lyrics that were sang earlier in the show, the way he sets everything up to tell a perfect story, to give you the exact feelings he wants you to feel.. i could yap so much more.

omg, that’s so nice of you to make jewelry for other people!! im not surprised, you are kind beyond expectation <3 im sure the jewelry you make is absolutely beautiful. ughh im pretty good at math .. but that doesn’t mean i like it.

im so glad you’ve had people to help you through it, and that you’re working through all that!! that warms my heart. :) of course i care to talk to you!! i quite enjoy talking to you , excuse me .. hmf >:( /silly

i always think of buying things as “giving them a home”… especially my stuffies. i have many. they are very happy with me (i hope)

we actually dress pretty similar!! that’s so cool hehe:) i also would consider myself hyperfem and maximalist!! also, what?!? i didnt know you were in love letter!!! .. i may or may not be on there too ..

OMG your doggie sounds absolutely adorable omgggg!!! ughh i can’t give myself away now that i know you are in love letter .. i will just say i have a few dogs ..

also don’t worry, yap as much as you’d like!! i love to listen <33333 i truly adore it!! now .. i have a few questions !!

i do NOT mean this in an ignorant way .. i apologize if it comes off that way .. :,) your beloved and your darling, are you all .. together? or is it platonic…??? if you are all together … are you looking for a fourth?

AHHH im so sorry if that question comes off rude at ALL im sorry im sorry im sorry forgive me forgive me 🧎

NERVOUSLY SIGNING OFF … 🎭

I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you with my yapping, dearie!! I'll make sure to keep this one a tad more concise :) It sounds like there was a lot of dedication in Epic! I've read the original myth, so you can always spoil it if you'd like :) I love when artists use motifs and symbols and draw things from previous works, it makes a much more cohesive piece and allows for everything to flow together so nicely! The continuity is awesome! I actually run a little jewelry business, so I make stuff to sell to people when I have free time (I haven't had a lot of time this summer or this fall, so it's been a little dead, but I'm hoping to make some stuff eventually!). I like making inspired pieces though, so it is usually gifts :) I made my school friend group a nice set of key chains / necklaces for last Christmas, actually! They were all color coded :D I appreciate you saying that you like talking to me, Cheshire; it means a lot :) I also have a lot of stuffed animals, so I get the whole thing about giving them a home. I have a few really special ones that I've done that for especially :) Also, yes! I've been in love letter for almost a year now, I think. I'm not so active right now, but I used to write lots of fantasies. I now usually use it for reading (I like to observe conversations and such) and for gushing or sending letters to my beloved and darling, who are both in the server. I'll keep an eye out for you now that I know! (But I won't look too hard, in case you'd like to remain anonymous!) it's cool that we both have dogs!! And our fashion styles are similar :0 I have to actually figure out an outfit for this thing I'm going to tomorrow... so I have to go through my closet a bit, haha. As for your question about my loves: I'm not together with any of them, but there's a level of devotion akin to that with my darling and they are my main priority (and i have full intention of continuing my bond with my beloved forever, though it's not inherently romantic and there isn't commitment in that sense) that would be something to consider. I'm not inherently against gaining another darling and the only other person I'm 'pursuing' would be Venus (Hi when you see this, little cloud! I miss you!!), but I'm not sure I could guarantee anything because I'm aromantic (cupio for specifics) and take a while to really consider people one of my darlings or one of my favorites. I have a bit of an issue with getting really close to people, mainly because I'm afraid of being judged or too vulnerable, so it would definitely be a long time. If you're interested in getting to know me otherwise, that is also okay :) I really only end up with those who I finally feel really care about me and who give me a certain amount of security in their life, but I am still quite affectionate with my other friends too! It was not rude at all, I don't mind clarifying things for you at all so long as it helps you :) I hope that answers your question!

#casanova's posts #casanova's collection #🎭 anon

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thirdeyeblue · 4 months ago

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Hey I just read your recent post The one about the fandom hyper fixation and then your entry in the tags. And I'm not sure if this helps anything, But I feel like it needs to be said, I am so sorry that you are feeling under confident right now, and I hope dearly and truly that it's just a dark cloud overhead. Because I'm someone who does not know you personally, I am truly disheartened to hear you're having a rough time with something you love You spend time and energy and emotions writing these fics for free—not only just you but dozens of authors in this specific fandom we call doctor who— and it must be rough seeing the discourse, (I'm only assuming it's about the purpose of a reprose if I'm wrong just ignore this little rant. That I honestly find a bit annoying because if you don't like the fic do to the ship, back out. If you do, don't use it as an excuse to be toxic and harsh. It's petty and childish.) And the campaign falling through (quite frankly I wish I could punch whoever made Ninex"the doctor's wife" a "canonical" thing, I find the actual shipname a curse in this house and you know who I mean. Like even if you couldn't get Billie back, Just make cool Nine adventures! Also tell us what the heck Mia comes from, I love it I do, but context!) and anything else you might be going through personally. I'm sorry that you're not exactly feeling the motivation right that you use too.

I hope that you know however long this break last, you're an amazing writer and more than likely there is someone jumping into this fandom who—like me— fell in love with tentoo based on your Fics. Even if it might not seem like much books like your brighten up someone's day, and that's one of the best things you can do in the world. Make someone happy. So take your time, ride this wave out, and I hope you have something out there brightening up your life like to do ours!

Jesus, I'm sorry that I'm only just now responding to this lovely ask! It's been buried beneath someone else's novel-length piece of nonsense I've neglected to read for ages/only just now got around to deleting.

I actually quite needed to see something like this today, so even though you sent it months ago, it's serendipitous to have found it again now!

(See below for my long af reply-turned-diary-entry, I'm sorry—I just drank a C4 Smart Energy and my brain is a-going)

I appreciate you for reaching out with all of this love! It's difficult to concentrate when you're already not particularly kind to yourself, but I'm trying—and good god, stuff like this is so helpful.

I'm also so honored and happy to have changed your opinion of Tentoo AND to have brightened up your life in ANY way. You're wonderful 🥹💖

As for the Repose stuff, thank you, fam. Of course that discourse is annoying, but I've recovered from it by now (I'm also close to updating that fic again soon)!

To be honest, it's more upsetting that some people I consider(ed) friends started treating me differently because of shipping (including one not-so-stealthy ""anon"")—but I've made my peace with that. The real ones+incredible readers+actual friends will be with you no matter what.

(Honestly, with the amount of critical thinking that led me to appreciate that ship in a nuanced way [while still actively shipping TentooRose, mind], it's silly for anyone to lump me in with all of the worst opinions present in the T/M fandom—that'd be like lumping me in with the people who think Ten and Rose were fucking (we are not the same)—but people are insane. Still, I've since made separate accounts for my T/M stuff to improve my quality of life as an unpaid content creator. And it's been great! But people can still be weird. Suppose that's the price of engaging with fandom in the first place.)

Regarding the campaign thing: I'm not too concerned about that! I'm the one who made the terrible decision to try and get a petition going around the 60th... It didn't occur to me until after the fact (AKA after RTD obliterated my faith) that I should have based the entire petition around Big Finish/Titan Comics/etc to begin with. I've since come up with a way better idea, I just haven't deployed it yet — but keep an eye out if you're interested! It's going to be the last attempt I make, but I've discussed it with several like-minded friends, and I think it'll be brilliant 💖

But yes. Dear god. That shit they pulled with River and Nine... I don't even wanna talk about it. Hopefully this plan I'm working on will make up for it. Maybe. Who knows.

And thank you again for being lovely. Sorry for the wall of text!

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mariisauruslove · 9 months ago

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Reasons why I feel the way i feel for you:

Reason 1: You are there for me even when I push you away.

Reason 2: You never have left me

Reason 3: You always know what to say and reply to every part of my messages.

Reason 4: You never belittle me or make me feel small or ugly

Reason 5: Youre a goofball and you always manage to make me smile and laugh so much.

Reason 6: You are ambitious and successful in your careerpath

Reason 7: You are so positive, you are the sun in my sky. You make my life brighter

Reason 8: You reassure me when im feeling insecure

Reason 9: You dont have a favorite shape but have a favorite number lol

Reason 10: You are always the highlight of my day

Reason 11: I’ve given you the worst parts of me and you treated them all with the utmost respect and love. You truly put me together and held me.

Reason 12: You love the moon as a form of weather lol and disagree that I don’t think its actually a type of weather.

Reason 13: Youre so smart, you dont rely on the words of people but you see who they are now

Reason 14: The way you maneuver your life is amazing considering everything you’ve been through

Reason 15: You motivate me to reach my goals

Reason 16: You push me to be the better person i want to be

Reason 17: You love the moonlight as much as i do

Reason 18: You dont get weirded out easily by me lmao

Reason 19: You always cheer me up when I’m in a bad mood, ex. with a joke or a video.

Reason 20: You have this spunk to you that always makes me smile

Reason 21: You will always keep me on my toes

Reason 22: You make little voices when you’re talking as someone else in your stories

Reason 23: You believe in me

Reason 24: You are so wise and have the most beautiful heart of gold

Reason 25: Your voice is the perfect pitch

Reason 26: You’ve caught me off guard, i never expected this love to grow as it had.

Reason 27: You mostly always beat me at games lol (it’s definitely rigged tho and I want a refund 😂)

Reason 28: You water me daily and make me feel so alive.

Reason 29: You cherish your friends and family

Reason 30: You have this glow of love to you that radiates for miles

Reason 31: You write down your dreams

Reason 32: You’ve trained yourself to control your dreams (also this is your favorite number)

Reason 33: You are one of the kindest souls I know

Reason 34: The hours you don’t message me feel like lifetimes of boredom.

Reason 35: I want to constantly be around you because you make me so happy

Reason 36: I absolutely love your brain, the way it thinks and strategizes. There’s so much to explore about you.

Reason 37: I love how you love green like my best friend.

Reason 38: You don’t seem to complain about your problems to anyone, you just fix them

Reason 39: You have the same music taste I do and tbh I fuck with that 😂

Reason 40: You bring music to my attention that I forgot I listened to.

Reason 41: Being around you / talking to you is like reliving my favorite childhood memories

Reason 42: You’re so familiar to me yet so not

Reason 43: At first I struggled to make conversation with you but then it became really easy to talk to you

Reason 44: You are warmth and life in my universe

Reason 45: You have impacted my life more than you can imagine

Reason 46: Every little silly thing you do makes me say “I love this man” under my breath and makes my heart feel warm 💛

Reason 47: You always post “decisions were made” when you see a misplaced item and it makes me giggle every time

Reason 48: You LOVE pineapple on pizza and i def fuck with that 😂 (hawaiian is your favorite)

Reason 49: You apparently think supreme tastes terrible, which offends me, but the fact you hate it means more for me 😂 so if we ever order pizza, I’ll probably order us hawaiian and supreme 😂

Reason 50: You support me and are there for me in ways i didnt know i needed

Reason 51: I love the way you tell stories. You dont suck at telling them like me 😂

Reason 52: I absolutely adore your sarcasm. It matches mine and the way they interact is gr8 :’)

Reason 53: I love your sense of humor.

Reason 54: You’re so selfless and kind

Reason 55: You say you have flaws, but I really don’t see them. You literally can do anything lol… well, i love your drawings but you dont but i still think you can do anything 😂

Reason 56:You’re a man of your word and don’t make promises or commitments unless you’re able to

Reason 57: You dont hate twilight 😂

Reason 58: You’re unapologetically you and stand so firm within yourself ❤️

Reason 59: You’re my rock and keep me together when im falling apart.

60: You dont judge anyone for being themselves and dont let your opinions be projected onto others

61: You are so understanding

62: You’re empathetic and compassionate towards others

63: I love how there were moments we shared where we were both having a hard time and we comforted each other, saying one day at a time, like a small hug that wrapped around us.

64: You calm me with your presence and i find comfort in your company.

65: I love how you hold yourself accountable when you know you make mistakes and try your best to make up for them.

66: I love that you dont let hard times stop you from shining. You’re my sunny leo ♌️. 🌞

67: i love how you are always so dedicated and motivated towards your goals, not just career but in your personal life too.

68: you have much in common with me. Ngl, ive questioned if it was just to agree with me but you’re more you.

69: I see my whole future with you and i cannot see it with anyone else. I know id constantly be happy because the way we interact is so loving.

70: You probably love food as much as i do lol even though i have a weird relationship with it

71: You are terrible at goodbyes just like me.

72: I love how you showed me the office, because it easily became my favorite show.

73: i love making you happy, because your laughter deserves to be heard everyday. i love your laugh.

74: you’re everything on my list of what i want in a man. Literally everything. Although, you definitely added traits to that list.

75: i love how you teach me things without degrading me.

76: I love how you’re honest with me even when it’s not something I want to hear.

77: I love how you enjoy traveling and find yourself enjoying the journey more than the destination.

78: i love how you’re independent.

79: I love how you taught me to love myself.

80: i love how you taught me to heal and set boundaries.

81: I love how you taught me to stop accepting the minimum and set standards for myself.

82: i love how although you broke my heart, you allowed me to see.

83: i love how Lovers in Japan by Coldplay is your favorite song.

84: Dude legit i found it so cool how you did math ezpz. You’re a wizard 🧙‍♂️ Dabes!

85: You’re not a perfect person but you were perfect to me.

86: i love how you love Christmas as much as i do.

87: I love how you love taylor swift. #Swiftie

88: I love how you’re outgoing and make friends wherever you go, because I be awkward at making friends lol but im working on it

89: I love how you’re always so excited to live life, every moment is yours to live.

90: I love how unselfish and caring you are.

91: I love how your brain works, the way it processes things.

92: I love how you’re overall a happy spirit and taught me to be the same way.

93: I love how there’s many depths to you, each one only revealed by you.

94: Although I wished youd open up more to me, you taught me the art of emotional independence. To stop relying so much on people when I should have the capacity to fix it.

95: I love how you enjoy running and how it connects you with your family.

96: I love that you’re a family man and will do anything for your family.

97: I love how twilight reminds you of me and it will be something that will always tie your thoughts to me.

98: I love how you inspire others to reach their goals.

99: I love that even in scary situations, such as your heart issues, you remain strong and uplifting. You stay positive and keep going.

100: I love you because you pulled me out of the darkest hole I’ve been in my whole life, where I knew I wouldn’t come back. And you did it without wanting anything in return. You declared that any human deserves this, but you poured love from your cup into mine and because of you, I’m alive. This ill never forget. You’re the bestest friend I could have ever acquired throughout my life.

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misqnon · 10 months ago

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HI im the anon who sent in that ask about one piece the other day and!!! AGHH. im too shy and socially anxious to send a message so sorry for communicating through asks but !!

THANK UU for responding to me !! it makes me so happy when people seem excited to talk to me, and i love hearing about peoples interests, so. i was very happy reading ur reply!!!! also this is probably an even longer message 😭 i cant help it i love to ramble

my history with one piece is long and complicated LMAO so i wont rant about it, but i started watching anime when i was 7 and one piece caught my attention when i was 10 i think, so ive had a lot of time to experience it tbh. but i was never that into it until i read the manga!! if im recommending one piece, i usually recommend the manga because its so much easier to get through imo.

honestly now that im caught up im like.. so afraid for the end of one piece. i never want it to end. i keep hearing that this is the final saga, and that one piece is ending soon, and my brain just. cannot comprehend it. i dont know if its just denial or what but i fully believe it won't end for another 5 years.. i havent experienced enough of the one piece world!!! i need more!! tell me everything about everyone in one piece PLEASE . it cant end . and those thoughts have been plaguing my mind since i restarted it LOL

looking at old forums to see peoples opinions from when each chapter dropped is genius??? i might have to do that.. i want to see their theories. i want to say "you have no idea whats in store...." or admire how smart they are for guessing things correctly

i find it funny that u like sanji cuz i have such complicated feelings around him. like he was my absolute favorite upon first introduction. i loved his kindness, i loved his interactions with gin, and i thought he was cool as hell. he was definitely a positive role model for my very damaged child brain. but i think the pervert joke and him treating women differently has pretty much ruined him for me. when i was younger a part of me felt like it was only right that he treat women better, but im pretty sure i just felt that way bc i hated the experience of being born female so much that the only way i could cope was by taking every and any advantage i could get. and then i figured out i was non binary.. and hes been turned into the most cartoonishly disgusting pervert .. and i see his potential and it just.. UGH!! you could have been so good. anyways all my feelings around him make it a lot more interesting to see u talk about him!! usually i just headcanon him as transfem and that satiates my burning rage and hatred towards him. but seeing sanji likers talk about liking sanji makes me actually like sanji more!! at this rate i might turn back into a sanji fan

im not in any one piece fan spaces but i AM consuming one piece content as often as possible (so all day. i dont have. a job. or school.). i know this is most likely a passing hyperfixation for me but im loving it anyways. i will definitely keep an eye on ur blog bc im sooo excited for when u catch up. im having so much fun theorizing about the end of the story and . and i hope u will too!! eek rant over thanks for listening (metaphorically)

HI ANON!! once again putting this under cut bc i will once again be freely speaking my way too many thoughts about the silly pirate manga. (fair warning. this. this is 2K words. anon im.....so sorry)

you don't have to worry about communicating through asks btw i literally do not care do whatever makes u comfortable my dude <3 and 1. thank YOU for sending a message :^) 2. i am loving the joyous atmosphere we have created ranting at each other back and forth HAHAHA it makes me happy to talk about interests like this as well!! (looks at length of my last reply and this one) clearly. we can think of this as like. electronic pen pals 👍bc i do be basically writing letters here LMAO

yea as u can tell its a little complicated for me too lmao ( i mean. the damn thing has been going on longer than i've been alive, so. it's touched many people in many ways. and it's complicated in its OWN right which. i'll get to. but holy shit 7 is younger than i expected! thats still a pretty long history (though i cant talk bc at age 4 i had a crush on goku even tho i had no idea what was happening half the time i was watching the dbz reruns on tv </3) and YEA. YEA THE MANGA IS. SO MUCH MORE STREAMLINED AND WELL PACED. EVEN THO I MISS THE COLOR AND MOVEMENT AND VOICE ACTING OF THE ANIME it was just takin too long. and i really like oda's art, so...reading the manga lets me look at it better. and there's more care put into the frames. but overall ur right the manga is chefs kiss in comparison to other versions (WHICH ARENT BAD!! JUST...SLOW. and though i think the live action wasnt really NEEDED i did. like it. and it is what got me back into op + got me caught up through east blue a lot faster HAHA)

tbh hearing that its in its last saga made me feel like i got into one piece at a really good time bc if i plan it right i can catch up and then follow along with the release for only a little while until its done. also the live action s2 and the "The One Piece" reanimated anime will be coming soon too. the content saturation is everywhere 👍(showering in it) THOUGH I DO FEEL A BIT PRESSURED LIKE. WHAT IF ONE PIECE FINISHES BEFORE I CATCH UP . which is insane bc im almost to wano (even though i hear wano is really long). and also...i think its been called the final "saga" but idk if that means final ARC you know...kinda like how water 7 and enies lobby kinda blend into one. or impel down and marineford are lumped together. idk i feel like we got a bit more. i just feel like there's so much we havent got answered yet and i dont think oda would just leave that stuff hanging. i know there;s a list out there of things that one piece needs to adress/come back to before it finishes but i havent looked at it bc im afraid of spoilers. however, just in my own mind theres a LOT i know has to happen that we need plenty of time for!! so. i wouldnt be surprised if it WAS 5 more years. i mean like...shanks needs to happen. i think zoro and sanji are gonna have a battle at some point (based on stuff ive seen from wano. im assuming) they gotta see laboon again. gotta revisit shirahoshi's situation. gotta see the dreams come true of each crewmate. tie off loose ends of side characters like tashigi and koby and the warlords. yanno

the "you have no idea what's in store.." is literally my exact emotions . i havent done it for this fandom YET but i plan to go to forums reading over ppl's theories like this

slash seeing how they react and getting giddy about it bc i like seeing how people react to shit. esp if they're shocked or enthusiastic about it like i usually am

about sanji. okay. listen. listen here. i. hate sanji. JNFNVFKDNL

no but actually no matter how complicated someone's feelings are towards sanji i promise you for sanji likers they are probably 100x more complicated unless they're weird dudebros who think he's cool (which he is but only like 10% of the time and not when he's being a chauvinistic ass)

one thing about me is that i. hate doing things that are distasteful or offensive in any capacity and that extends to the media i consume in that i dont like consuming media that is excessively problematic. i understand nuance so like OBVIOUSLY nothing is perfect and everything has problematic elements - but for a lot of shows there's one too many things on one side of the scale and i just dont like having that guilt on my shoulders consuming it. one piece fits that category but it's also SO BIG and SO LONG and its been going on for a WHILE and is such a phenomenon that i can let SOME stuff "slide"...and also realize "bitch one piece is so popular and near its end at this point that you, a single tumblr user, liking it or not liking it is not going to make a difference" and i'm (still) trying to make peace with that. things like oda's passive racism, The Entirety of Kamabakka Kingdom (literally don't even get me started), his blatant sexism in universe and his own opinions in the SBS...i've just come to realize i need to consume my media critically but still let myself have fun. im going through a rough period in life and this happens to be what my brain hyperfixated on and i cant change that so might as well have this outlet. ive made a lot of friends and am really enjoying the story for its good parts (found family, anti government and anti authoritarianism, importance of dreams and ambition and self love, the importance of mental health and trauma and how your past doesnt define you...etc)

i extend a lot of this thinking to sanji, too. to be fair i dont remember why he became my favorite. i think he was my fav when i watched it all those years ago but he wasnt a BIG FAV or anything. watching film red and the opla i think i went into it remembering he was my fav and he just stayed that way, but then i watched more and really started to like him for reasons like 1. im weak to flirtatious characters in general 2. im also weak to blonde men 😔 3. he's an asshole with a kind heart and i love a good juxtaposition 4. he just has some really cool badass moments tbh 5. and he's a LOT. i love characters that are a lot. he's loud and messy and overreactive and prissy and insecure and self sacrificing and also just SECRETLY ONE OF THE KINDEST MOST COMPASSIONATE MEMBERS OF THE CREW? notice how none of these have to do with his pervert shtick lmao

i do actually like his woman thing to an extent, i think its cute when its just him having heart eyes at every woman he sees and being weak to literally any woman who looks at him- cause that's still putting women on a pedestal, but its a fairly harmless character flaw for a fictional character to have. pre-timeskip sanji is a gift for all these reasons. and like, thats when everyone fell in love w his character i think. i MIGHT even forgive his whole "i wont hit a woman" thing bc its not like he doesnt think women shouldnt be hit in general to such an extent (i dont think he ever opposes to anyone else doing it on the crew, HE just doesnt like doing it PERSONALLY bc its his own moral principle he wont break just like the whole wont fight with his hands thing) even if the whole thing stems from the sexist belief women are lesser/weaker (esp after his backstory reveals some stuff)

but the pervert shtick? and the WRITING HIM AS TRANSPHOBIC/HOMOPHOBIC THING?? yea i literally hate that part of his character so much and wish it wasnt added. like i see how it relates to the character oda has decided sanji is but i still dont think it was needed. or okay. lol. i dont think any sanji fan actually likes this part of him. somedays i look at myself in the mirror and i'm like "am i fangirling over a more conventionally attractive bnha mineta rn" and i put on my clown makeup

but he's more than that. for all the reasons i listed above. and the BIGGEST thing that keeps me sane as a Sanji Liker (tm) is the fact that i 100% see half of his shitty character traits as something that are a product of Oda, the author, influencing his own work. im not gonna lie that canonly he still gave sanji those traits so yea like as a trans (? still working on that) GNC bisexual woman my favorite character atm is this weird little guy who's kinda chauvinistic and also canonly a homophobe (...at least, to an extent, bc apparently he has a really good relationship with iva? again, i could write an essay on just the queer rep as well) and thats a little embarrassing but. alas. i already fell in love with the character. and if you consider the writing is done by a dude who's got his own issues and just take the character for what he is...i do still rlly enjoy the idiot. and TRUST ME, i will headcanon him as a repressed bisexual who's probably GNC or a little trans or AT LEAST likes to do drag bc c'mon now. oda PUT ALL THAT IN CANON...AND EXPECTS US NOT TO PLAY WITH IT? you could make a compelling argument that he's 1000% straight and cis and kamabakka was a fluke that he resents but i think you could just as easily interpret it the other way. or just say fuck word of god i'm gonna enjoy this character the way i want (draws sanji in a dress for the millionth time bc i can and it makes me feel better. and once again HE WORE ONE IN CANON...AND WAS SMILING ABOUT IT, FOR A WHILE. IDK IDK CALL ME CRAZY) tldr; sanji is fucked but the worst parts are a product of oda himself and i like the character for other reasons and purposely try to consume him very critically for those reasons bc i do still really like him. like. hes my #1 fav character atm unfortunately. but he's nice in a lot of other ways 🥲

SORRY FOR THAT I TALKED WAYYY TOO MUCH!!!! but i enjoyed it so thanks for the opportunity :') im glad ur vibing with op and we're both enjoying this silly little show. tbh half the reason im trying to read it so fast (and why i read WCI early) is bc i was scared my hyperfixation wouldnt last long enough to finish the series BWAHAHA. here's to hoping we both get to see it end and enjoy the journey that comes with that!

#i cant believe i wrote 2k words . i should be embarrassed but im honestly a little impressed.#'hey mont why do you like one piece' [2k word essay defending myself against imaginary haters]#anon if you were worried you were talking too much dw i got you. i'll just talk WAYYY MORE to make u feel better 👍/hj #microphone effect #one piece #sanji #yea i'll put this in the tag #talked too much to only have one person see it #asks #replies #not to be That Person but i basically had a WGS minor in college (i was one class off) and trust me i'm analyzing the Fuck out of oda's #biased writing.#march anon

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el-ly-sha-give-no-f · 3 years ago

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Crash on a rookie year

Author note: okay this is it after my second time writing this, still pissed off actually, IYKYK, right, this is my first fic that is not requested by anyone, so I don't give you permission to repost on Wattpad, AO3 e.t.c, sorry for the delay, I hope you guys enjoy reading this if anything in this fic that sounds stupid and doesn't make sense, just ignore it because I can't imagine what happens if it's in real life, I replace Lando with the reader and I made Zak little bit of bad guy, no offence though! thank you!!! <3 love ya and stay safe.

heavy angst and fluff at the end

TW: car crash! smoke! hospitals! ambulance!

PAIR: F1 x McLaren!Reader

WORDS: as usual, I don't know but quite long.

Monaco. One of the most hardcore and challenging circuit for me. Indeed. being the first female that joins the modern F1 world is hectic, Sexism and Body shaming are everywhere and anywhere. But you need to be just smart and ignore it.

currently, all the drivers are on the grid.

"hello y/n, radio check, did you hear me?" I heard my team race engineer voice, asking and checking the radio system.

"yup loud and clear Tom" I reply

"Great, are you okay? Is there any wrong with the car or anything ? we still have time to fix it"

"Nothing, all good as usual it's lovely, but my helmet clip kinda loose but I can live with it," I told him

"Okay do your best for team y/n, Daniel made a bet, if you get high position than him, he treats us a drink" we both laugh at Daniel's bet.

"deal, we'll get the drink everybody, and podium too" I fling back.

RACE START!

AUDIENCE POV

"Monaco everybody! The race just starts as you can see on your screen. Hamilton on the front, OH! there she is! our McLaren driver, she shines like a star everybody! from P4 to P2! she just did the double overtakes cars just like that, the last time we saw someone did like this is Sebastian Vattel, this woman is crazy, let's see who's is the driver that she passed. Her success to cut Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly while her teammate is behind her which makes both of them on top three! its a good start for McLaren"

"currently position is, Hamilton P1, Y/LN P2 and Ricciardo P3"

"y/n, P2 Y/N, you both did a fantastic job, hope you guys can hold this position till we give you a green light to cut Mr Hamilton that in front of you" ask Tom.

"HeHe, Not a problem sir, I hold your words!" I return happily

"Good! By the way, Daniel said you are crazy, good job y/n"

"I am and he too! thanks to you guys" I fling my words back to him before focussing on the track again.

"y/n, you're 6 second behind Hamilton, do you think you can move from P2 to P1?"

"I think I can manage with that Tom" I response

"Okay go ahead, it's a green light from us and Zak too, he said you can do it, but Y/n do it carefully" Tom declare

"awh you care about me Tom" I joke

"Heh, Silly you y/n of course! now go shines again"

"yup looks like P1 gonna be ours this time" The feeling of exited makes me more confident to move in front of Lewis, while people at the paddock waiting for me passionately hoping I can do it. My heart starts to pound.

"Let's see, Lewis" I mumble before starting to drive to the right side of his car. My foot started to press the pedal harder to increase the speed, Im was halfway through his car. This is it, my first podium.

Mine exited only happen for a second when suddenly our Sir Lewis Hamilton start defending his current position by moving to the right side by means where im currently on, which makes our car tyres touch with each other. I try to not exaggerate this accident by turning my car to the left side but fail.

"for fuck sake Lewis"

"my tyre"

im mumble before trying to stabilize my car but again fail, my head begins to spin same goes for my car that currently spinning 360°. Well, didn't expect my car to turn upside down over and over again until it stop which is the result that made me crash into the barrier and upside down.

AUDIENCE POV

"oh, no looks like something bad just happened, our McLaren driver y/n y/l/n crash! seems like its a very heavy crash"

I can't hear anything except Tom's "robotic" voice echo through my earpiece.

"oh god" I groan

"y/n....y/n, swi-tc-h...o-ff...th-e ca-r"

"I can't, im upside down, and my helmet is gone, need help here" I just inform them even though I know they can't hear me

I start to smell smoke when I start to look around, I see smoke starting to wash over my car instead of Monaco's fresh air.

I look down and see some red liquid dropping on the crushed rock below my head, I suspect it is the blood that comes out of my body but I look again if I mistake it with my car oil, but what kind of oil is red.

"I think Im bleeding" hoping Tom hearing me

-----just a little tiny time skip-----

For almost 2 minutes I've been upside down, still never heard a safety car or medical team sirens yet, my head starts to fill dizzy due to the upside-down situation, I've discovered where the blood coming from.

it's from the wound on my head. I think it's because my helmet has gone while I turn upside down over and over again.

slowly body slowly become numb and my eyes slowly close.

AUDIENCE POV

"is y/n out of her car? is it a red flag? if its a red flag, we going to start this race over again, got to rid all of the debries from the track, let's see y/n and Lewis crash recap"

RECAP

"due to y/n crash place that is quite far from where safety car and medical team at, it's going to take some time to get her out of the car, we just got an info that the race is going to start over again, its a red flag"

"oh, there we go, as we can see right now y/n teammate, Daniel Ricciardo itself, running to y/n car and switching off her car, is it off? yes? Daniel Ricciardo's success to turn it off everybody"

camera showing from afar that Daniel sign a thumb down to the medical team that had just arrived but was far away from the scene and Daniel screamed telling them to come over and help.

DANIEL POV

As I saw y/n and Lewis collide with each other, the only thing that I thought is how is she and if it was just me right now on the track? y/n has been my best friend since forever, it makes me scared when I saw her crash in front of my eyes.

I had time to dodge them and saw Lewis back on track.

"fuck is she okay? awake?" I ask Tom's concern

"We don't know, we can't get a response from her and we disconnect from her radio system" Tom answers

"God y/n, did you guys send the medical team? is it a red flag"

"Yeah, but its kinda late for them to arrive to y/n place quite far away and nope, not yet"

I take a quick breath

"oh fuck it" I swear before safely making a U-turn not to crash another driver, and drive to where y/n car crashed.

"Daniel, what are you doing?"

this time is not Tom asking, it's Zak Brown itself asking. AS I CARE!

when I arrive the first thing see is her crashed wreaked badly and I can see the smoke surrounding her car, when I got out of my car I quickly sprint to her and crouch down to switch her car off. I feel something dripping on my hand until I look up and see y/n head bleeding.

"Daniel I ask you again what are you doing?! let her be! the medical team will arrive, and it's not even a red flag!" I heard Zak screaming through my earpiece.

"YET!, im saving somebody's daughter and my best friend, she's bleeding!" I reply, Im in a squat position, trying to unbelt her seatbelt and hold her by her stomach, so as to not make her fall, after how minutes of trying cause her seatbelt is stuck, I realize it's impossible to get her out from small space, I try and suddenly Y/n start to wake up.

"Hey hey! Y/n, listen to me, Im trying to get you out from here, and I want you not to panic okay?" I ask her and all she can give me is a nod in confusion.

"Great, so here is what we're gonna do, I need you to get out of this car, and get out through this small space, can you do that for me I hold you okay? get your head out first"

As Y/n slowly do what I ask her to do, her back already touches the crushed rock on the ground Im trying to shield her head from the small rocks.

Gratefully, she succeeded to get out of her car, as we were both a bit far away from the car, I started to carry her over my shoulder and run to the Medical team that bring a stretcher toward us as we get closer I lay her back on the stretcher, and the Medical team carry her inside the ambulance.

"you still told me to continue the race and just hoping the medical team to arrive and get her out of the car? she could have been dead, you don't know shit about her condition! eh, Zak?"

all I can hear is Zak groan.

AUDIENCE POV

" Daniel Ricciardo her teammate carrying y/n body out from her car, when I said it's a red flag everybody, it is a bad crash, we can see y/n is bleeding right now, let's see some of drivers reaction to this incident right now"

(imagine their reaction cause I can't find shit)

I don't know what happened after I got into the ambulance, I guess I passed out. I can feel im lying on a bed right now, definitely not my hotel bed, cause this one feels uncomfortable.

I try to open my eyes but fail, I blinded by the light for a moment. I try again and again till my eyes fully open, I feel someone holding my left hand, and as I turn my head to the left, I see Daniel my life best friend is sleeping while his head on the bed.

I smile, now im remember he saved my life and gets me out of my car, and carry me to the medical team. God Daniel.

I let him sleep a little more, I let him rest.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Daniel has been helping me a lot when im in hospital, Lewis and Toto came and pay me a visit, they apologise for what happened, and I just said this all is not their fault, its nobody's fault, obviously, they glad that im okay, but Zak kinda not happy with Dan and im definitely gonna defend him(Daniel), that old man I swear to god.

Right now Dan talking to me while I look at me and I thought, I surely gonna tell my kids one day about this........

our kids.

YEYHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHI plot twist mathafacka, oh my gad im glad this time my laptop is not turning off, so what did you guys think? is it good? is it too nonsense? Comment please and I try to do my best in the future! thanks for reading my first fic! I love you guys, thank you and stay safe <3

#f1 x you #f1 one shot #formula one x reader #imagine #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo #f1 fanfic #mclaren

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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 2 years ago

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[Note]: The call and moments accompany Victor’s Trend Date. Do remember to read the date first! ♡

⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for content yet to be released on the global server! ⌚

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

–

✧ [CALL] ✧

Victor: Just saw the message you sent, why did you get off work early today?

MC: Because I was mainly busy with the HR department today, working on the new activities. So, called it a day when it was done.

MC: By the way, Victor, I’m going to ask you a question, and you have to answer it seriously.

Victor: What test did you see on the internet again?

MC: Not an online test. It’s a serious question!

MC: I just want to ask you, what’s your impression of me? If you had to use a few words to describe me…

MC: You have 30 seconds to contemplate it.

Victor: Sometimes slow, sometimes surprisingly smart, although silly most of the time, yet always brings surprises.

Victor: Mm… the cute kind of dummy.

MC: Phew, I can relax then…

Victor: What were you worried about?

MC: Wasn’t I saying the company was doing an induction session for new employees today? During the ice-breaking session, HR asked them to describe their impressions of me.

MC: Guess what they wrote? “Doesn’t love to smile,” “a little stern,” “very serious,” “fast-moving.”

Victor: Sounds a little familiar.

MC: That’s you! And when I reflected back on it, they were actually right.

MC: It turns out that without even realizing it, I’ve changed so much…

MC: Sob, sob, why aren’t you answering?

Victor: Nothing. I was pondering what I should say in reply.

Victor: So, are you now afraid of becoming much like me, a capitalist?

MC: It’s not that… I just feel that people really do become more and more alike when they are together for a long time.

Victor: According to what you said… how come I don’t feel that I’ve become a dummy?

MC: How come? You forgot to feed Pudding its raw diet this morning. It was meowing in anger, and I found it when I was leaving home~

Victor: …that’s called forgetting, not being a dummy.

MC: That is being a dummy!

MC: If I were Pudding, this is what I’d be meowing: “Dummy Victor! You clean forgot to give me something delicious, humph!”

Victor: Owh, so that’s how a certain someone scolds me in her mind when I forget to give her “something delicious”?

MC: Ahem, I do not. I always say so many good things about Victor in my heart, praying that he will prepare a great feast for me soon!

Victor: I don’t believe it.

Victor: How about you try saying something nice to me in person tonight and see if you truly can get a great feast out of it.

–

✧ [Moments] ✧

Victor’s Post: Is a certain someone actually changing her style of dressing, or is she role-playing?

–

⊳ OPTION A:

MC: I promise that the rest of the clothes are normal. I bought that maid outfit simply by accident!

Victor: So the butler outfit in my dresser was by accident too?

–

⊳ OPTION B:

MC: It can’t be helped. I just can’t refrain myself from “meowing” when there are cat ears on the hood of my sweatshirt...

Victor: Going through the express deliveries at the doorstep–– it appears our home is going to turn into a “zoo” for quite some time.

–

⊳ OPTION C:

MC: This is how life should be, adding a little romance and fun every now and then!

Victor: The mere presence of a certain dummy by my side is already enough to make life romantic and fun.

—

#AKSFBWQAEFJEZFBKFXHN *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID* THESE TWO 🛐 OUR LEGENDARY HUSBAND AND WIFE 🥴🫠#the way brain went in ALL SORTS OF DIRECTIONS from the last line of the call to the moments 👁️👄👁️#but the last answer tho 🥺❤️#mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

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bowie-boy · 3 years ago

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please tell me how the narrator is a trans man

@originalpatrolsheep @undeadbreeze I’m @ing you here because I actually received this ask first!

FIGHT CLUB SPOILERS BELOW

Without further ado, here is my explanation as to how Fight Club is a trans metaphor!

The Narrator is a trans man

At the beginning of the film, the narrator is an insomniac and is wildly depressed. He can’t sleep. He starts visiting a center for men with testicular cancer. This is where he meets Bob, a man with no testicles and with breasts. Despite this, Bob is still seen as a man. It’s only in Bob’s arms that the Narrator, saying “We are still men,” can cry and therefore sleep. The Narrator feels gender euphoria when he is with Bob, a cis man with feminine features who is still considered male.

Everything changes when Marla Singer, a woman, begins to attend the same centers as the Narrator. It is only when she arrives that the Narrator feels like an impostor there and becomes hyperaware of his own lies amongst the people at the centers. Therefore, the Narrator cannot cry anymore and can no longer sleep. (In real life, some trans people may feel uncomfortable spending time with those that are the opposite gender as them for fear of being seen as part of that group and getting misgendered, which is partially what I believe spooks the Narrator here.)

Marla Singer represents the Narrator’s relationship with his own femininity, something he unwillingly ties to his dysphoria. Despite his love-hate relationship with her throughout the film, she remains one of his staunchest allies and is perhaps the only thing keeping him grounded in who he is and who he used to be throughout the film.

Shortly after meeting Marla, the Narrator meets (creates) Tyler Durden. Tyler describes himself to the Narrator later in the film: “All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look. I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.” Trans much? Tyler Durden is the idealized cis man, the prototype for masculinity that everyone in society is fed at an early age. (These representations affect and even especially affect trans men.) Tyler is the standard that the Narrator’s internalized transphobia makes him feel like he must live up to, or else he isn’t a real man.

The Narrator’s relationship with Tyler eventually leads to the creation of Fight Club, a hub of toxic masculinity that attracts all sorts of men. All of them have one thing in common—they want to prove themselves. Tyler repeatedly says that the men in Fight Club are “the most manly men” he has ever seen, a wonderfully effective way for the Narrator to validate himself. What’s more, no women are allowed. The Narrator doesn’t have to face his own femininity in Fight Club, and he doesn’t have to face that side of his dysphoria.

It’s around this point in the movie that Tyler and Marla become involved in a sexual relationship. This is symbolic in itself in the sense that the Narrator’s internalized transphobia is “dominating” his femininity and dysphoria. Even more important is the fact that the Narrator can never see Tyler and Marla in the same room. This is because, to the Narrator, they cannot coexist. The Narrator can no longer comprehend his masculinity and his femininity coexisting in him. He can deal with one or the other at one time, but he forgets that he can have both at once. The Narrator himself believes that neither is taking over his life and neither is being lost. This is what ultimately leads to his downfall.

(This is a little unrelated but it’s important to note that the solution of Tyler and toxic masculinity never helps the Narrator sleep as well as the centers at the beginning of the film did. The Narrator learns that he was never sleeping when he was with Tyler, he was just taking on a new side of himself. Internalized transphobia also led the Narrator to self-harm in many ways (the chemical burn, the fighting, the car crash). Hypermasculinity was not a helpful solution.)

It’s at this point in the film that the ongoing symbol of testicles (I know it sounds silly but hear me out) shows up again. This time, testicles are not something trivial on a man that have nothing to do with his masculinity and maleness. They are used as a threat. Tyler and some members of his army meet up with an official in the city, someone who challenges their ability to destroy buildings and public works. Tyler makes the official an offer: he can save his city or he can save his balls. The official chooses the latter. This is incredibly telling, as the men the Narrator associated with at the beginning of the film had no choice but to remove their testicles. This didn’t make them any less manly in the eyes of the Narrator. Now, though, the Narrator’s own projected sense of internalized transphobia presents a strong message: testicles are important to your status as a man.

It’s shortly after this that the Narrator views Tyler Durden’s relationship with Angel Face, someone who can be described as nothing else but a pretty boy. Tyler, despite being the epitome of toxic and hypermasculinity, respects and adores the somewhat feminine Angel Face. How does the Narrator react? By beating Angel Face until he is bloody and fully disfigured. This represents the Narrator’s resentment of society’s treatment of trans men. The Narrator does not see himself in Angel Face the way that he once saw himself in Bob. He feels that cis men can easily balance femininity and masculinity, that these two things can coexist without an issue for them. For trans men, masculinity must win out, or else society (or at the very least internalized transphobia) will never accept them. Tyler drives the Narrator much harder than Angel Face with much less payoff, and so the Narrator must destroy Angel Face as revenge.

The Narrator seems to have everything he wants until Bob shows up in the film again. The Narrator asks Bob if he’s still attending the centers they met at, to which Bob replies no—he’s now joined Fight Club. At first, this is validating for the Narrator. Bob is feminine still, with no testicles and large breasts, but he’s still considered man enough for Fight Club. The Narrator more or less lets Tyler (AKA unchecked toxic masculinity) do what he likes with Bob. This ends with Bob getting killed. In fact, Bob’s brains are blown out as he tries to follow one of Tyler’s orders. Bob represented a chance at normalcy for the Narrator, proof that men with breasts and without balls were worth just as much as other men. But Bob dies at the hands of the Narrator’s toxic masculinity, and it is this event that leads the Narrator to realize just how much he’s lost to his own feelings of inadequacy.

It’s at this point that the Narrator starts to question his toxic masculinity and his internalized transphobia. He realizes that he’s no longer even himself anymore, just a copy-and-pasted blueprint of the man society has told him that he should be. He can’t recognize himself anymore, can’t keep track of what he really feels and what he only tries to, and he realizes that he needs to end his hypermasculinity before it’s too late.

There’s only one person the Narrator can turn to to get his old self back: Marla. He visits her, apologizing for his behavior towards her. He even tells her that deep down, he really really likes her. This is a big moment for the Narrator. He admits here that his feminine side isn’t something he despises, but rather something he fears getting close to. The other important thing is that Tyler, who was once sleeping with Marla and deeply invested in her, now views her as a threat. The Narrator’s femininity threatens to overtake his masculinity, his dysphoria and euphoria threaten to overrule his internalized masculinity. Tyler wants to destroy Marla, and the Narrator wants to protect her.

For the last time in this film, the symbol of testicles appears. This solidifies how far the Narrator has fallen, how deeply he’s lost himself to self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy. Upon trying to destroy Tyler’s plan, Tyler’s army of men turns on the Narrator and tells him they’re going to cut off his balls. To them and to Tyler, this represents that the Narrator has turned against his brothers, his maleness. The loss of his testicles will show this to everyone. The Narrator, horrified, manages to escape this fate, but without his pants. He spends the final act in his underwear, somewhat symbolic of the trans body he’s worked so hard to achieve and has spent so much of the film despising.

At last, the final fight of the film. The Narrator faces off with Tyler, and must attempt to regain control of his own head. The Narrator struggles at first, unable to accept the fact that him and his internalized transphobia are one in the same, and that he has the power to overrule it. Finally giving into himself, the consequences of his actions, and the messiness of gender and his own expression as a human being, the Narrator takes control and shoots himself. With this, Tyler dies, and so does the Narrator’s internalized transphobia. His toxic masculinity is no more. He’s given himself permission to display his masculinity as much as he wants, and in any way he wants. Internalized transphobia has power over him no more.

Marla then enters the room. She expresses concern for him, the simple Narrator she met at the beginning of the film now so torn up and injured. This is representative of the Narrator’s past pre-transition self looking at his most transitioned self. He’s bruised and broken, a lot different than before. But he insists that he’s okay, and he truly means it. The Narrator is now more himself than ever. It’s in this confidence that the Narrator’s takes Marla’s hand, finally accepting his own femininity, dysphoria, and the full scope of his gender expression. “You met me at a very strange time in my life.”

In a final image, the buildings all around the Narrator and Marla explode and collapse, leaving nothing behind. The Narrator could not stop this total destruction. But the film does not make this a sad moment. It’s rather somewhat wistful, perhaps even hopeful. The Narrator had to destroy himself in order to be reborn as his full and true self. A rebirth. Isn’t that was being trans is?

Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoy my analysis :)

#sorry this is so long #jack’s posts #fight club #trans #film analysis #the narrator #tyler durden #marla singer #asks #asks and answers #send asks #long post #i didn’t edit anything sorry if this is incomprehensible

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gofancyninjaworld · 2 years ago

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I've been really annoyed at a lot of takes I see on Reddit and couldn't put my finger on why, but today I realized it's because they have a lot of snobbery towards shounen and assume ONE is making fun of every element of it. which I don't think is true. he pokes fun for sure, but I see a lot of "he's deconstructing the shallow shounen trope of blah blah and ridiculing it" which feels excessively mean. Most of the time someone presents the trope being "deconstructed," it's something shounen already handles with nuance. So it's extra annoying because it sounds like people who don't actually read shounen and just assume everything in OPM is ridiculing it. OPM is definitely subversive, but idk. It reminds me of how people who read "real literature" scoff at YA fiction as if there's no way it could ever tackle nuanced themes. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I guess I just dont wanna think of ONE as being so petty and snobby. What do you think? Maybe i'm too sensitive

Talk about a late, late reply. Sorry!

It's a good observation. I'm not the right person to talk about shonen in detail because I tend to dip in and out of individual titles so there's a lot of nuance I do miss, but you're right, people who dislike a genre tend to lump all its tropes together into an undifferentiated mass.

A slight digression as I introduce you to Boulet, a fantastic French comic strip artist, has a splendid comic collection online (https://english.bouletcorp.com/). Sadly, I'm unable to find the specific strip I have in mind but in it he's imagining how vastly different films would feel if you just kept the camera rolling a little longer. So we get to the aftermath of the Ewoks's victory and see these cute critters dragging the corpses of the Stormtroopers away, mocking some of them... really changes the feel of it. The thing that's different about ONE's handling of shonen tropes in One-Punch Man isn't that he deconstructs them per say -- he loves shonen stories and really has put a lot of thought into how they work -- it's that he keeps the camera rolling. What happens then? So what? What happens as a result? And then? That's what makes it feel like a deconstruction and also serves as the springboard for its seinen genre...

More seriously though, One-Punch Man isn't a parody at its heart: it has a lot of parodic elements but its focus isn't a genre -- it's got bigger things to tackle. ONE does remind me of Terry Pratchett in a way: the Discworld series may have started out as parodies of common fantasy tropes but they quickly outgrew that purpose and the stories became much richer explorations of various aspects of human nature, all while staying fantastic and funny.

I tend to say that ONE parodies heroes -- he loves the weird, contradictory, earnest people who step forward when everyone else avoids trouble and there's a lot of affection for them even as he pokes fun at some of the silliness the superhero genre has thrown up. He satirises corporate culture, and there's a lot of horror that's just put out there without comment for the smart reader to notice and piece together.

It does get annoying when there's fans who claim it can all be understood at a high level and that it needs must be a zero-sum game: if you like OPM, you must disparage the 'standard shonen'. Fortunately, one can simply... ignore the fools. I know I do!

Life is short. You won't stay young forever -- unproductive discourse is something to cut hard and early out of one's life!

#OPM #asks #OPM may not be a shonen but it dresses in its clothes -- for reasons #however yeah people pretending that it's a high-water mark from which to look down are... sad #also don't really get the story either

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franklyshipping · 3 years ago

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Off Your Silken Pedestal ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

HERE WE HAVE A SNAZZY ANON PROMPT REGARDING OUR FAVOURITE ASSHOLE, THE ACTOR! LET’S GIVE HIM WHAT HE FRIGGIN DESERVES!!!

This was a long time coming. The Actor straightened his robe in the mirror with a determined smile. Too long had he been treated lackadaisically by Wilford Warfstache. Too long had he been the victim of pranks and silliness by the moustached man. Sure, they were friends, but the Actor expected those around him to react to him with a certain degree of respect! He was an intimidating figure damnit, and he could not allow Wilford to be the exception to that rule, otherwise there would just be chaos! Well, more chaos than normal at any rate. So, Actor had decided to embark on a mission of intimidation. Nothing sinister, he was just going to kindly encourage Wilford to show him a little more respect. Hence why the moustached man was currently tied to a chair in the Actor’s lavish bedroom.

‘I must say old boy I LOVE what you’ve done with your room! You have to tell me where you got all that silk, I’ve been meaning to get more shirts made outta the stuff!’

Actor was already irked by how unperturbed Wilford was by the situation. He was vulnerable and had no way of escape, and yet he was acting like they’d just met up for afternoon tea with salmon sandwiches and jam covered scones! He put his hands on his hips, tilting his head down at Wilford.

‘Really? You think mocking me is smart right now Wil?’

‘Mocking? Oh no no I mean it, truly! I’ve always thought you had a panache for aesthetics and décor!’

Wilford replied, honestly being completely sincere with Actor; Actor, however, didn’t see it that way. Because he’d been so wound-up thinking Wilford was constantly disrespecting him, he kept failing to notice that Wilford was being genuine. Actor was so used to manipulation and sarcasm, that his mind had difficulty identifying true kindness. Actor sighed through his nose at Wilford as he replied.

‘I think I’m just going to get to the point.’

‘Sure, what’s going on friend?’

Wilford asked, admittedly curious as to why Actor had decided to tie him up for a conversation. Needless to say, Actor wasted no time in his explanation; he’d actually practiced his speech in the mirror in preparation.

‘What’s going on, Wilford, is that you clearly don’t respect me. You insist that you’re my friend, at yet every single day I find myself humiliated. You prank me, tease me, embarrass me by telling the other egos about my past, childish exploits! Then, there’s your constant mocking of what I wear, my acting attempts, my décor choices— you’re relentless! I want your respect… and I’ll force it from you if I have to.’

Actor finished his passionate spiel, panting a little as he watched Wilford, wondering how quickly the intimidation would set in. Except… it didn’t. Wilford had been listening intently to his friend, and had indeed heard everything he had said. The thing about Wilford, is that to many people he seems to not make much sense. He seems nonsensical and random, riding the wave of a mad immortal life without any consciousness attached to what he says or does. This was so far from the truth. Wilford’s consciousness was so warped by its experiences, that it was always in the state of reading between the lines of everything, including when it came to his friends… and within the Actor’s words, Wilford heard a resounding message. Actor wasn’t just feeling humiliated or embarrassed, he was stressed… and he was oh so tired.

‘My friend, I can see this is something you’ve been wanting to say for a while now, and so please believe when I say that I sincerely hear you.’

Wilford said, and Actor was shocked. He’d never seen or heard Wilford been so calm before, and it struck him almost dumb. His body went slack as his face fell in confusion, and his voice came out as a shocked whisper.

‘You… you do?’

Wilford smiled, then Actor gawked when the ropes holding Wilford fell away, and the moustached man came up to him. He put his hand on Actor’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.

‘Of course I do. I like to think I know you pretty well after all this time. I can tell when life’s getting under your skin… and I recall how sometimes when you get overwhelmed, you tend ot attribute it all to one person around you.’

Actor sighed softly, bowing his head for a moment. It was true, recently he’d been feeling so overwhelmed, but he didn’t want to be seen as weak; hence, he’d been overcompensating by acting like a hard-ass. Also, the realisation that he’d unreasonably put this all on Wilford made him feel so disgusted at himself, Wilford was one of his closest friends… and he’d tried to put it all on him.

‘I-… I’m sorry Wil I just-’

‘Hey now hey, I’ll have none of that guilt nonsense!’

Wilford interrupted, tapping the tip of Actor’s nose, making the man’s face scrunch up before he smiled wryly. Wilford cocked his head at Actor as he smiled at him.

‘How about ya let old Warfy make ya feel better, hm?’

‘Are you sure? I’m surprised you’re not more annoyed given that I tied you to a chair.’

Actor replied, making Wilford chuckle.

‘Oh please, what’s a little rope when you have pink trans-dimensional powers? Come now, why don’tcha have a little seat there?’

Wilford nodded to said chair, and it was at that moment Actor got a little suspicious. Wilford’s eyes had a little glint in them. A glint that Actor recalled as one of mischief. He pursed his lips at Wilford, smiling and raising an eyebrow.

‘What are you planning Wilford?’

Wilford’s smile grew as he exhibited an innocent shrug.

‘Oh a little of this, a little of that. C’mon, have a seat friend.’

All of Actor’s instincts told him not to sit in the chair… but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this light. He knew Wilford was going to do something mischievous to him, but Actor realised that was exactly what he wanted. Something playful and warm and coming from a place of love. So he grinned at Wilford and sighed dramatically.

‘Alright, I trust you.’

‘Atta boy!’

Actor rolled his eyes and sat down, and as soon as he was settled in… his predicament became clear. The ropes shone with a pink light as Wilford manipulated them, and soon Actor was fully restrained in the chair. He grunted and tested the ropes, but they were strong, and with Wilford’s magic being in the mix it meant there was no way he was going to get out. Wilford chuckled, and Actor flushed when the moustached man sat on his legs, wiggling his eyebrows down at him.

‘Comfortable?’

‘Not particularly.’

‘Well since they’re your ropes I’d say that’s on you.’

Actor pursed his lips as Wilford snickered.

‘And how exactly is this meant to make me feel better about my cripplingly depressing existence?’

‘Well, tackling that whole shabang of emotions is gonna take time, but for right now I’m just gonna get a smile up on that handsome face of yours!’

‘Yeah, how do you plan on that?’

Wilford grinned, and settled his fingers at Actor’s ribcage. Just the feeling of Wilford’s fingertips resting made Actor tense up. His breath got caught in his throat, all the nerves in his body awoke, and a redness started to bloom on his face. Not this. Anything but this. Actor locked eyes with Wilford.

‘You wouldn’t.’

‘Wouldn’t I?’

‘Wilford… you know I can’t.’

‘Can’t what chum?’

‘Wil!’

‘Whaaaat?’

Wilford cooed, now curling his fingers against Actor’s ribs as the restrained man jolted in his chair, a bright smile spreading over his face as he shook his head. This was something only Actor, Wilford, Damien and Celine knew. Not only was Actor ticklish… but he was the most ticklish facet/version of Mark. Out of everyone. You might think that Google’s back or Silver Shepherd’s navel are bad spots, but for Actor EVERY spot was like that for him. One poke would coax out screams… which as I said, Wilford knows all too well.

‘DON’TDOITWILDON’T!’

Actor yelled, breathing frantically as he struggled hard in the restraints, but Wilford knew his friend well. He knew Actor wasn’t uncomfortable. He knew that, in fact, this was exactly the kind of thing he’d been needing and wanting for quite some time, and Wilford was more than happy to provide. He giggled as he stroked delicately over the Actor’s ribs, coaxing out huge laughter as he teased.

‘Still ticklish as ever, it’s so good to see that some things still don’t change. Golly, I remember summer days when we were young. You remember us all playing on the estate, and how you could never even handle grass on your bare little tootsies? We all thought that was adorable.’

Actor was literally losing his mind. The tickling was torture enough, but being teasingly brought down memory lane was just mean! His laughter was deep and melodious, and it echoed around the room as it bounced out from his shaking chest. His feet scrunched tight when Wilford brought them up, and his red flush darkened.

‘SHUHUHUT UHUHUHUP!’

Needless to say, Wilford was absolutely NOT going to shut up.

‘Gosh, I remember when Celine would have Dami and me pin ya down so she could test her new manicures out on ya. Sometimes I felt kinda guilty, but your squeals were just so adorable!’

Wilford sighed, flicking his blunt nails softly in-between the Actor’s ribs, making him snort and thrash as he whished he could cover his ears or fight Wilford off, just do something! but alas, he was perfectly vulnerable, and with his energy waning it was likely he wouldn’t have been able to fight back even if he HAD been free.

‘IHIHIHI DIHID NAHAT SQUEHEHEAL!’

Actor exclaimed, making Wilford laugh as he retorted goofily.

‘Did so!’

‘DIHID NAHAT!’

‘Did so did so!’

‘NOHOHOHO!’

Actor exclaimed, making Wilford giggle and shake his head fondly; he’d missed this so much, and Actor had too. Wilford grinned, and wiggled his fingers in Actor’s eyeline as he winked.

‘Well then I guess I’ll just have to prove it to ya!’

Actor barely got in a good deep breath before Wilford’s blunt nails gave his hollows the lightest trace known to man… meaning Actor let out the loudest, most high-pitched squeal known to man.

‘EEEEEE-FUHUHUCK!’

‘Awww there it is! Tickle tickle tickle!’

Wilford kept tracing his armpits, making Actor howl with laughter as he let out even more squeals, the tickling just driving him crazier and crazier. Actor looked up at Wilford pleadingly, tears gathering in his wide eyes now.

‘IHIHIHI CAHAN’T IHI CAHAHAN’T!’

‘Can’t what? Can’t you take these little ticklies?’

Wilford teased, deciding to nuzzle Actor’s neck with his moustache to make him squawk as he babbled.

‘NOHOHOHO DAHAHAMMIHIT!’

Wilford chuckled warmly, relishing in how Actor scrunched up and yelped amidst his mirth; Wilford always maintained that his moustache was the best tickle tool on the face of the earth, and indeed on his face. He let his breath tickle the shell of Actor’s ear, being careful since he knew Actor was very close to his limit.

‘Have I made you feel better? Because if you’re still not feeling jazzy I’m more than happy to carry on-’

‘NONOHO IHI’M GOHOOD IHI’M GOHOHOHOOD!’

Wilford giggled and had mercy, the ropes holding the Actor immediately going slack and falling to the ground as the man shakily panted. Actor slumped, his head resting against Wilford’s chest as the vibrant man hugged his friend affectionately. In those next few moments as Actor recovered… he realised how much he’d missed that. Not just being tickled, but being held, being smiled at… being around kindness and honesty instead of darkness and pain. He smiled as he felt Wilford card his fingers through his hair.

‘Thank you Wil…’

Wilford smiled, before slipping off Actor and holding out his hand as he replied warmly.

‘My dear friend, you mean a great deal to me. I respect you to the ends of reality and I always will, I promise.’

Actor beamed and accepted Wilford’s hand, stretching gratefully when he was stood up; then he pursed his lips when Wilford then grinned at him playfully.

‘Though don’t think you’re safe from my pranks.’

Actor narrowed his eyes at Wilford, leaning over him a little as his eyes gleamed with a tinge of danger.

‘If you keep pranking me, I can assure you that there will be consequences.’

‘Is that a promise Mark?’

Actor froze… no-one had used that name for him in quite a while. He was always the Actor. This façade-like being, a villainous mask for everyone to attach vile ideas and blame to. But that was all it was. A mask. He grabbed Wilford by his shirt and enveloped him in the tightest hug he could muster, making Wilford gasp and hug back, beaming as Mark spoke.

‘Yes William, it is.’

These two men, these two friends, hugged each other tighter than either of them had been hugged before. A lot of things had put distance between them, time, agendas, magic and madness… but there always comes a time when barriers can be broken. This, here and now, is that time… and it always will be.

WOOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DO LUV YOOOUS XX

#markiplier #markiplier egos #the actor #actor #wilford warfstache #wilford #warfstache #sfw #platonic #prompt #ego fic #ego fanfic #tword fic #tword fanfic #tword #twords #twording #twordish #luv these bois

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago

Text

The Kind of Girl You Take Home to Mom | Andy Barber x reader (part 1)

summary: Jacob was finally taking his college girlfriend home to meet his family. how was she, a sheltered Harvard girl, supposed to know not to trust the famous, respected lawyer who just so happened to be his father?

word count: 3.5k

warnings: smut (dub con??), age gap, infidelity, fingering, dirty talk, a lil choking, wedding ring kink, lots of awkward conversations lmao

@donutloverxo @evnscvll @ballyhoobarnes

“They’re gonna love you,” Jacob beamed at you as you buckled into the passenger seat.

“I dunno, Jake, I’m not usually a parent’s favorite…” you mumbled nervously, adjusting to be comfortable for the drive. It wasn’t that long of a trip— just from your dorm at Harvard to the southern suburbs of Boston; your discomfort was a lot more psychosomatic, in fact. Isn’t it normal to be afraid to meet your boyfriend’s parents?

“Well, my parents are pretty chill,” he assured you. “Besides, what’s not to like?”

You still felt a little dizzy as you tried to prepare yourself for a weekend with them. You’d hoped Jacob would just have you guys meet at lunch or something but nope, he insisted that you come with him the next time he visited over a three-day weekend and you’d agreed cause you didn’t know how to say no. Now here you were, practicing ‘Hi, it’s so nice to meet you!’ in your head as if you were going to forget how to speak English in the next fifteen minutes.

Honestly, with how nervous you were, it was plausible.

The sun through the trees cast flashing light and shadows through your window as you watched the scenery roll by. Something by Bon Iver was playing through the car speakers, but the mumbled lyrics were lost to your distracted mind. You’d heard a decent amount about his parents through him— his dad was apparently quite the bigshot lawyer— but you had no idea how much they knew about you. You hoped he talked about you a lot but you also sort of hoped he didn’t, so that you’d have a clean slate to start with.

“Your destination is on the left,” Google Maps informed you both.

“There it is,” Jacob smiled as he lifted a hand from the wheel to point to the house. It was nice, really nice, and a little tinge of jealousy hit you.

You took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile as you prepared to meet Mr. and Mrs. Barber.

You went through the motions of every great introduction to people who need to like you. So nice to meet you, I’ve heard great things, you have a lovely home, all that good stuff. Laurie, his mom, was bubbly and kind, and insisted you not call her Mrs. Barber because it made her feel old, apparently; Mr. Barber was a little more stern but still seemed warm enough.

After some basic hand-shaking and introductions, Laurie had explained that she was making dinner. You offered to help but she insisted that you wouldn’t lift a finger while staying in her home. That sure did sound nice, though you felt guilty.

So, while Jacob unpacked your and his stuff in the guest bedroom, and while Laurie was cooking, you and Mr. Barber were stuck together in the living room.

“We’ve been hearing a lot about you,” he informed you.

“Oh, r-really?” you stammered. “Only good things, I hope.”

“Only great things,” he assured.

You nodded, not sure what to say but realizing the conversation was going to peter out quickly…

“You can relax,” he encouraged with a smile, “we’re not giving you the third-degree or anything.”

You let out a little laugh of relief, trying to keep from looking too rigid. “I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I just really want to make a good impression.”

“You already have,” he assured you. “You’re a natural.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you laughed nervously, “I’ve never met anybody’s parents before. I mean, of course I’ve met people’s parents, just not a boyfriend’s or anything— that’s not usually my sort of thing…”

His eyes went a little wide, and you mirrored it as you realized the implication. “Oh, I don’t mean— it’s not like I only do hook-ups or something, I don’t do that, I just meant I’ve never really had a serious relationship before—” oh god, is that a bad thing to say? Does it make me seem like I’m too immature for Jacob; or does he not think we’re serious? “I mean, it’s not like we’re serious serious, it’s not— we haven’t really— we’re not thinking that far ahead, we’re young and all that…” God, even Jacob and I haven’t had this conversation, why am I having it with his father?!

“Well, whatever it is that you two are, he seems to care for you greatly.”

“That’s… good to hear,” you sighed, hoping you could just keep your mouth shut for a few minutes. Awkward silence was leagues better than this.

“The weather’s great so I thought we could sit outside for dinner!” Laurie suggested.

“Sounds lovely, honey,” Mr. Barber nodded, jumping off of the couch at any excuse to get out of this conversation. You resisted the urge to hide your face in your hands.

Their patio was spacious and covered in meticulously-gardened plants, with a glass table that had already been set with four place settings. You helped carry out some of the food and took your seat in the wrought iron chair.

“Do you want any wine, sweetie?” Laurie offered as she turned towards you, bottle in hand.

“Oh, I’m not twenty-one yet,” you explained quickly.

“Well, yeah,” Laurie raised an eyebrow, “but we’re not so sheltered, we know what college kids get up to— just a glass won’t hurt.”

“You’re kind to offer,” you relented, “but I don’t drink.”

“Really?” Laurie questioned, looking a little incredulous.

“Really,” Jacob butted in. He laughed when his mother gave him a look of surprise. “Yeah, I know, she’s like, the one person at Harvard who’s sober.”

“Finally, a little respect for the law in this house,” Mr. Barber added as he stepped out onto the patio.

“You want a glass, honey?” she asked him, seeming to ignore his apparent distaste for her offering alcohol to you.

“Sure,” he nodded, taking a seat.

“So,” Mr. Barber addressed you as he sat down, “what are you majoring in?”

“English,” you answered with a nervous smile.

“And what do you wanna do with that?”

“Whatever lets me read as much as majoring in it allows me to,” you chuckled.

“Do you think you’ll go to graduate school, get a Master’s?” he pressed.

“Actually,” Jacob interjected, “she’s thinking of going for a doctorate.”

Mr. Barber turned back to you with an impressed expression. “Wow! Smart girl.”

Something about him calling you ‘girl’ made you feel yourself blush slightly, and shift in your seat. Or maybe it was the praise. Still, for some reason it coming from him felt wrong but wonderful at the same time. “Um, I suppose so…”

It continued on like that for a while; he and Laurie asked you questions, you and Jacob told a few stories. Mr. Barber managed to get you to open up a little and not be so worried about him judging you or assessing you all the time. But then again, you’d heard he was a bigshot lawyer so he probably knew how to get people comfortable and talking so he could go in for the kill.

Sometimes you caught him looking at you like he was about to go in for that kill at any moment.

“Do you think it went okay?” you asked with faux nonchalance as you slipped into bed, watching Jacob brush his teeth in front of the mirror.

“Okay? I fink it went greaf!” he responded, the toothbrush in his mouth making his words difficult to parse.

You laughed a little at his silliness, though you were glad to hear he thought it was a successful day.

“And they don’t mind us sharing a bed?”

Jacob snorted with a quick laugh before spitting out his toothpaste into the sink. “They’re not conservative like that,” he dismissed with a shake of his head. “I mean, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s normal for us to share a bed.”

You nodded because it was true, but you also found yourself twisting a piece of your hair between three fingers; you wondered if his parents assumed that you two did everything that was normal for boyfriends and girlfriends to do… and, as always, you wondered if Jacob was growing impatient with you in that regard. He always said that he didn’t mind and was going to wait as long as you needed, but it was still hard to believe. Sometimes you just wished he would break up with you so that he wouldn’t have to deal with celibacy and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt.

“You ready for bed?” he prompted, tearing you from your train of thought as he sat down on the other side of the bed.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you agreed with a nod, laying down completely and plugging in your phone.

Jacob switched off his bedside lamp, and you were ready to fall asleep, but he quickly pulled you into him.

Oh, yes, cuddling. This was normal, this was expected; you should feel relaxed right now, and not nervous and confused. You tried to force yourself to, but it didn’t really work.

He hummed contentedly, kissing behind your ear. “Goodnight, honeybun.”

Another girl would love this kind of attention. Any girl should. You smiled, but it was fake. “Goodnight, Jake,” you replied quietly. You really did like him, you never doubted that. But as he drifted to sleep beside you and you took in the surroundings of Jacob’s old room— renovated and updated, but still feeling like the graveyard of a childhood— you couldn’t help but question why you were here at all when you knew, deep down, that this relationship was missing something that couldn’t be found.

You woke up for no particularly good reason in the middle of the night, a habit of yours. Squinting as you lifted up and unlocked your phone, you read the clock: 2:16 a.m.

You sighed and realized that you weren’t going to be able to get back to sleep, at least for a while.

Peeling Jacob’s limp arm off of you and slipping out from underneath the comforter, you tiptoed out of the bedroom and shut the door behind you.

The streetlights cast faint yellow light into the kitchen, enough that you could see somewhat; enough that you didn’t stub your toe, thankfully.

You did your best to open the refrigerator quietly as you searched for a snack. I could make a sandwich but that’s a bit too much food. There’s so much weird diet food in here, is that Mr. or Mrs. Barber’s? A glass of juice probably isn’t enough. Yogurt? Hmm, maybe…

“Burning the midnight oil?” the deep and smooth voice of Mr. Barber came from behind you.

You jumped a little as you spun around, finding him standing in the entryway to the kitchen, wearing pajamas and a smug little smile. You let go of the door and it slowly closed itself; Mr. Barber turned on a dim light and you were able to see him a little better.

“I think we’re a little bit past midnight, sir,” you chuckled softly.

He seemed slightly uncomfortable with the title, shifting awkwardly and clearing his throat.

“Did I wake you up?” you asked, concerned.

“No, no, not at all,” he shook his head. “I haven’t been sleeping so well recently. A finger of scotch usually helps…”

For some reason, him telling you this felt too intimate. You cleared your throat nervously as he poured the aforementioned drink into a crystal glass.

“You really don’t drink?” Andy asked you suddenly, and you laughed a little.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you guys to believe!” you replied.

“No, no, I believe you…” he trailed off. “I guess I’m just surprised because Jacob seems really into the party scene. You two seem sort of opposite in a lot of ways.”

“Yeah, we are,” you admitted. “I think it works for us.”

“You keep him honest?”

“I keep him from failing out,” you scoffed, though as soon as you’d said it, you instantly regretted your brutal honesty.

“Ah, I get it,” Andy smirked. “He’s partying while you’re back in the dorm studying enough for the both of you.”

“That’s not—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he instructed, a little more stern than you anticipated. “With what I do for a living, I’ve learned to spot a lie from a mile away.”

You swallowed, thinking this was getting a bit out of hand already. “Well, I ought to get back to bed,” you realized, “and… so should you.”

As you stood up and started to walk past him, he suddenly reached out and grabbed your arm, stopping you.

“Mr. Barber, I—”

“Call me Andy,” he encouraged, stepping closer until you were pressed against the wall and he was pressed against you, finally releasing your arm but leaving you just as trapped. This close up, your height difference was staggering.

“O-okay, Andy, I don’t—”

“Has he fucked you yet?”

The question made your eyes shoot wide open and your stomach burn with embarrassment. How could he ask you something like that? But he seemed cool and collected, staring down at you as he took the last sip of his scotch and set the glass aside.

“I think as his father, I have a right to know,” he added firmly.

“I… we don’t… he and I aren’t…”

“So, no?”

You nodded quickly.

“Well, why not? Is there something wrong with him?”

No, there’s nothing wrong with him at all, and I hate that about him because I should love him but I don’t. “N-no!”

He looked you up and down quickly before responding. “I can’t imagine how he keeps his hands off you…”

You knew you shouldn’t be enjoying this kind of attention, especially from your boyfriend’s father, but something about his gaze made shivers erupt in its wake. You looked away and forced yourself to remember everything great about Jacob.

“He’s been very patient with me,” you explained shakily. “He knows I’m not ready.”

“Not ready?”

“To be with someone… that way…”

You shivered when his fingers began to toy with the hem of your nightgown. “This is nice,” he complimented softly.

“Um, thank you…”

“You’re a very beautiful girl,” he informed you, leaning in a little closer.

“I—” you began, but he was already about to kiss you. You almost melted into it, you almost let your eyes flutter shut as you tilted your head; thankfully, you stopped yourself at the last second, pushing your hands against his chest. He was strong enough that your protest would’ve been useless if he hadn’t chosen to stop in the moment.

“Andy, your wife…” you explained weakly.

“She hasn’t touched me in years,” he grimaced. “She just wants my money, and the appearance of the perfect family. You have no idea what it’s like to lie next to someone every night and still be completely alone.”

For a split second, Jacob flashed in your mind and you wondered if you did have an idea.

“I’m… sorry to hear that…” you mumbled. “But I can’t— you can’t—”

He lifted your chin with one finger, and you looked up at him with wide doe eyes. “Is he treating you right, sweetheart? Is he everything you deserve? Don’t lie to me…”

“He’s…” you whispered shakily, unsure how to respond, “he’s great.”

Andy chuckled incredulously, seemingly not believing your answer. “Listen, he’s my son; I love him, obviously. But I know his flaws better than anyone. And even though I like to think he’s smarter than a lot of boys his age, they’re all the same when it comes to one thing: girls.”

“I think he’s pretty smart in that regard,” you defended.

“If he was smart, he would be taking you to nice places, buying you nice things, treating you right. If he was smart, he would’ve fucked you already. If he was smart,” he smirked a little, “he wouldn’t have left you alone with me.”

His hand slipped under the bottom of your nightgown, grabbing your thigh.

“Andy!” you yelped, but he lifted a finger to his mouth with a soft shushing noise.

“Don’t wanna wake anybody, now do you?”

I kinda do though… you thought to yourself.

His fingers travelled higher and higher, nearly brushing against the edge of your panties; you shivered, wondering if you should stop him, and if so, how.

Your hands were still resting on his chest from when you’d tried to push him away, but instead of fighting back all they did was clench and pull at the soft cotton of his t-shirt as his pointer finger hooked into your underwear and pulled them down.

The thick, calloused pad of his finger swiped through your folds, and you bit your lip. Something about it being the middle of the night, about the forbidden nature of it all, about the way his gaze burned right through you made your entire body so sensitive. He found your clit instantly, and barely had to touch it to get you bucking your hips into his touch; you only somewhat managed to suppress your gasp.

He leaned in to kiss you again, but this time it actually came to fruition and his lips were soft but determined against your own. You reciprocated eagerly, eliciting a little smile from him as you both realized how bad you wanted this even when you shouldn’t. The moment his tongue slipped into your mouth was also the moment his middle finger slid into your tight and pulsing channel. You moaned with surprise and it mixed with his own soft groans while your tongues intermingled.

A second finger joined his first, stretching your walls and making you nearly bite down on his lip in your mouth. He smiled and twisted them within you, pushing right against a spot that made your knees weak, while his thumb stretched out to keep circling around your clit.

He broke the kiss to watch your face, admiring the way your brows furrowed together, and your eyes fluttered shut, and your swollen lip caught between your teeth. Your head fell back against the wall, the effort of supporting it suddenly seeming too much, and it caused you to look up at him and make some awkward yet sensual eye contact.

“Has he ever made you come like this?” he whispered, jealousy apparent in his tone. You shook your head ‘no.’ “Has anyone ever made you come like this?” You shook your head again. “Fuck,” he groaned. “Including yourself?”

You nodded and he laughed a little, stooping down to kiss your neck. “Always such a good girl, huh?”

His tone shifted as realization crossed over his face. “Baby… am I the first thing that’s ever been inside you?”

You bit your lip, feeling a bit embarrassed, and nodded again.

He groaned and pressed his hips forward into your hip; the hard shape of his cock against you made you gasp. “Feel what you do to me?” he smirked. “God, you’re too fuckin’ perfect…”

“A-Andy, ‘m close,” you whimpered

“Come on my fingers, sweet girl,” he encouraged. “I wanna see how pretty you look when you let go.”

It felt like a wave of sensation was about to crash over you, faster than you knew how to handle it. You reached down and tried to push him away by the forearm, an instinctive way to run from the intensity of the feeling as it started to make your eyes roll back and your toes go numb. But he was too strong; your fighting was useless as his fingers kept fucking into you and pressing against your constricting walls.

“No, baby, you can take it,” he hissed. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

Just as you were sure you were about to scream, his other hand clapped over your mouth. You could feel the hard shape of his wedding ring against your lips and just as guilt hit you, so did your orgasm. Your knees went weak; you would’ve fallen if it weren’t for the hand inside you all but holding you up.

Your moans were muffled into his calloused palm as pleasure rippled through you. You felt your channel grip his fingers at the same time as a gush of arousal coated his hand and even began to drip down to his arm.

Your breathing slowly stabilized, and Andy trusted you enough to finally take his hand away. He pulled his fingers out of you and brought them to his lips, licking them with a smirk. “You taste like heaven, honey,” he praised. “Go ahead, clean off my fingers,” he instructed as he pressed the fingers into your mouth; it was already hanging slack from exhaustion. You closed your lips and sucked on his fingers, moaning at your own taste and at the way his skin felt on your tongue.

Once he was apparently satisfied with your work, the hand in your mouth moved back and instead wrapped around your neck as you whimpered.

“Tomorrow,” he growled against your ear. “I’m gonna get you alone, and we’re gonna finish this.”

You were a little too busy panting to respond to that. Honestly, you had expected that you would have some post-nut clarity at this point, or even just be satisfied once you’d reached your peak. But apparently not; even still coming down from it, you already wanted more. With a sigh, you realized that you were already completely addicted to Andy Barber, and you were going to come back for more as soon as you could.

“Tomorrow,” you agreed in a raspy whisper.

(part 2) // (part 3)

#andy barber x reader #andy barber smut #andy barber x y/n #andy barber fanfic #dark!andy barber #kinda...

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c-optimistic · 4 years ago

Note

for your happy prompts ask, perhaps kara is a documentary film maker who follows ceo lena around for a doc and ends up falling in love with her by learning a bunch of little things she finds out during filming? also p.s. i absolutely adore your writing even when it tugs at the heartstrings. thank you for writing what you do! it makes my day everytime i see an update or get an email

She wasn’t allowed to see Lena Luthor until she’d signed so many papers that, if stacked together, would be taller than she was. She wasn’t even allowed to touch her camera around Lena Luthor until the woman herself, CEO extraordinaire, had personally vetted Kara out.

“You know,” Kara said as casually as she could, finding herself nervously adjusting her glasses when Lena’s cold gaze fell on her, “I usually have a whole team with me when I do this.”

“And I agreed to this on the condition that only one nosy filmmaker follows me around, not a whole team.” Lena’s reply was like everything else Kara had learned about the CEO thus far: she was blunt, a little harsh, tone and eyes cold and emotionless. She gave nothing away, not in her walk, in her mannerisms, in the ridiculously healthy food she ate, in the way she spoke to her employees or board members. She was cool, detached, wickedly smart, and utterly composed. “And I must approve the final result,” she added, gesturing to the mountain of paperwork Kara signed.

(Kara sighed internally, a tiny part of her sure Lena was a robot.)

“But it’s everything, right?” Kara clarified. “A total look into your life, no holding back?”

“You may follow me around to your heart’s content,” Lena said, leaning back in her desk chair, studying Kara intently.

“May I ask, Ms. Luthor, what made you agree to this, when you’re usually so distrustful of the media?”

Lena gave Kara a smile that didn’t touch her eyes. “What made you ask to do this when you know I distrust the media?”

Lena hadn’t answered, so Kara knew she didn’t have to either, but she felt it was important to establish some kind of rapport with the woman she’d be following around for the next few weeks. “I’m of the opinion that things are rarely as simple as they seem from the outside, that’s all.”

“Well,” Lena said, looking pleasantly surprised and offering Kara a grin (a real one, one that touched her eyes and transformed her face), “perhaps that’s why I agreed to you doing this.”

“You’re one of Ms. Luthor’s closest friends, is that right?”

“Yes.”

“Since before your daughter was born?”

“Yup.”

“So would you say you know her quite well?”

“Sure.”

“Do you plan on answering any of my questions with more than one word?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. So, in one word I suppose, how would you describe Ms. Luthor to a stranger?”

“Flawless.”

The rules of her arrangement with Lena were rather simple. For the next several weeks, Lena consented to having Kara around from the moment she woke up to the moment she went to sleep. In return, Kara was not allowed in certain meetings at L-Corp, was not allowed to bring her camera with her at all when Lena went down to R&D, and if Lena asked for her to stop filming at any point, Kara was bound to immediately do so and erase any footage she may have inadvertently captured.

For the first two days of the arrangement, it was actually rather boring. Lena was awake before the crack of dawn, she didn’t acknowledge Kara’s presence as she made coffee and toast (though she did push a cup and a plate towards Kara), and then spent the next fifteen or so hours in her office, sifting through papers, answering phone calls and responding to emails, and forgetting meals. It wasn’t until the third day that Lena’s routine changed slightly.

She received a phone call at breakfast, and whoever it was caused a bright red blush to bloom on her cheeks. Kara zoomed in slightly on Lena’s face as she answered the call. “Now’s not really a good time, Sam,” she began, falling silent at whatever this Sam was saying on the other end. Lena’s eyes flitted over towards Kara, but to her surprise, she didn’t ask for Kara to shut off the camera. “That sounds terrible,” she said, sounding truly apologetic, something about her countenance changing. She seemed softer, more open, calmer than Kara had seen her yet. “And Ruby was so excited too.” Lena fell silent once more, nodding almost as if unaware of it. “I agree with her,” Lena suddenly laughed, still nodding, “it’s not fair at all. But there’s no way I’m not going to visit. Do you want me to bring anything?” Lena laughed again, and Kara wondered if her camera was capturing the change she was witnessing with her own eyes. “As if I could forget Ruby’s chocolate.” A pause. “Give her all my love.” Another pause, a tiny smile on Lena’s lips. “All right, I will. Bye.” As she hung up, she looked over at Kara, as if daring her to comment, everything about her shuttering at once.

“Who was that?” Kara asked, not really expecting an answer. To her surprise, however, Lena’s eyes flitted to the camera and she let out a soft, resigned sigh.

“That was my CFO, Sam Arias,” she answered, her tone a complete 180 from what she was using on the phone. She studied Kara for a moment and must have read something on her face, because her shoulders deflated and she motioned towards her phone. “Sam is my best friend. Her daughter, Ruby, is my goddaughter. We were supposed to go to the animal shelter today.” Lena smiled softly, almost as if unaware of it. “She’s finally convinced Sam she’s responsible enough for a pet. It’s actually—” Lena stopped suddenly, her eyes shifting to the camera once more, any warmth that had managed to leak out dissipating at once. “In any case, she’s sick. So we’ll have to reschedule.” She waved her hand towards the camera. “Can you turn that off, please?”

“Uh, yeah, of course,” Kara said quickly, making a show of turning the Camcorder off and setting it aside. “Is something wrong?”

Lena shook her head, leaning against her kitchen counter as she eyed Kara with something like curiosity. “You know, I’ve seen all of your other work,” she said after a moment, frowning at Kara like she was a puzzle she couldn’t figure out.

(Had she? Seen all of Kara’s work? A part of Kara was curious as to how, after all, most of her stuff was tucked away in a closet back in Midvale, waiting to be opened up and viewed during Christmas, when Alex would laugh at the films she’d made in high school about how the boys’ sports teams were unfairly given more attention than the girls’. The others were projects for her degree and one or two failed attempts to get a real production company to take the risk on her.

In fact, if not for Cat Grant’s decision as ‘The Queen of All Media’ to get involved in filmmaking, funding a project from a no-name creator, Kara wasn’t even sure she’d have the film she was making now.)

“Oh,” she said inarticulately, not quite sure how to word what she was really thinking. How rich did you have to be to be able to bribe anyone into giving you anything?

Lena nodded carefully, her face a perfect mask. If not for the way her eyes followed Kara’s every movement, Kara would’ve even thought that Lena was bored. “You’re very fond of certain themes. Hope. Love. Endless optimism in the best of humanity.” She said it like it was a bad thing. And it was suddenly Kara’s turn to lean forward on the opposite end of the counter, feeling her head tilt to the side questioningly.

“Is that what you got from my films?” she asked, genuinely curious.

Lena seemed wary of the question, standing up straight and crossing her arms over her chest defensively. “Isn’t that what you intended?”

“You know,” Kara said slowly, “I don’t actually believe in all that creator’s intent nonsense. I think we search for parts of ourselves when we consume art. So if that’s what you got from my films, that says more about you than it does about me.”

If anything, this seemed to offend Lena. “So you’d deny having any sort of intent with your work? What about making something with meaning?”

Kara laughed, shaking her head. “That’s not what I mean, and besides, who says art has to mean anything?”

“Of course art means something,” Lena argued, narrowing her eyes at Kara. “What’s the point of doing it if it doesn’t mean anything?”

Kara shrugged easily, giving Lena a small smile. “I disagree. I think art says something. But meaning is up to the people who consume it.” She picked up her camera and pointed it at Lena without turning it on. “Doesn’t matter what I intended to say with my films, you got meaning from it. So I’d say there was a point in making it, don’t you think?”

Lena eyed her for a moment, apparently not liking that Kara wasn’t giving her an answer, wasn’t telling her what she was trying to say with her work. But then, after several long seconds, she relented, letting out a chuckle and shaking her head. “Well, fine,” she said, her smile touching her eyes. “As long as you don’t try to say anything silly like hope, love, or endless optimism in the best of humanity with this film.”

“I’m afraid I can’t change who you are, Ms. Luthor,” Kara said softly, turning her camera on and effectively cutting off any response Lena may have had.

(And when she looks at the footage weeks later, she’ll freeze that frame, breath catching at the look on Lena’s face: the softness of her eyes, the curve of her lips, and the pleasantly confused crinkle between her brows.)

“Do you spend a lot of time with your godmother?”

“Oh yeah, loads! She’s great.”

“What sort of things do you do with her?”

“I mean, normal stuff? She takes me to get ice cream all the time. The other day, she rented that new horror movie that came out and watched it with me when I stayed over. My mom went nuts when she found out.”

“So you like her?”

“No, of course not. I love Lena. She’s my aunt, you know? She’s family.”

“And if you had the chance, what would you want the world to know about her?”

“That she cares, so much. And that she’s funny and super smart and helps me with homework and after my mom she’s the very best person I know.”

The visit to Luthor Children’s Hospital was, as far as Kara was aware, unplanned and in fact gave Jess a great deal of anxiety. For her part, Kara was mostly frustrated and annoyed, wondering if this film was worth it at all. Because Lena Luthor seemed to be asking Kara to turn off the camera more and more, especially when her day deviated at all and she was forced to leave her office.

(Walks in the park, lunches with her goddaughter, a touching moment with the child of one of her employees...all locked away somewhere in Kara’s memory, but destined to remain there instead of on film, where it should be.)

She huffed a little bit as she leaned against the wall, watching Lena walk quickly towards the group of nurses and doctors. She didn’t say anything when Jess joined her, a contemplative look on her face. “She always does this,” Jess told Kara after a long silence, rolling her eyes fondly. “She’ll cancel meetings last minute because she heard one of the kids in the hemoc ward has finished treatment or that they’re out of toys to give to the new patients.”

“Why isn’t there any press if she does this often?” Kara asked, turning to Jess but watching Lena out of the corner of her eye. She was talking to one of the doctors now, looking comically out of place with her designer clothes while surrounded by colorful artwork by kids that littered the walls of the Children’s Hospital.

Jess fixed Kara with an unimpressed look. “You’ve met her, right?” she asked rhetorically. “She goes out of her way to hide these visits. She says that she has to keep it under wraps because she wants to keep it about the kids and not her. But I think the truth is she’s just worried people would mistreat the kids and their families for allowing a ‘Luthor’ within ten feet of them.”

“Oh,” Kara said dumbly, a little stunned by the new information, and feeling guilty for her thoughts earlier. “That’s...awful.”

“I’m not telling you this for nothing, you know,” Jess continued, frowning at Kara. “She’s been avoiding lots of her usual charitable work since you’ve been around. The whole point of this was to get everyone else to see the real Lena Luthor, but she’s ruining it by being humble and noble.”

(Kara wanted to groan, roll her eyes, or better yet go over to Lena herself and shake her until she understood what Kara’s job was.

How was she supposed to make a documentary about Lena Luthor if Lena Luthor was so determined to hide herself away from the world?)

“What would you have me do?” she asked, not voicing her frustration, though it seeped into her tone anyway. “We have a deal, and she doesn’t want me to film these things.”

Jess shook her head, looking terribly unimpressed by the answer. “Don’t you have artistic integrity? Would you allow anyone else to boss you around and tell you what you could and couldn’t film?”

Kara looked over at Lena, who was now smiling at a young boy who had ambled up to her with his mother and infusion pump stand in tow. She watched as Lena actually dropped to her knees to talk to the boy, nodding vigorously at whatever he was saying. After a long moment, she turned back to Jess and shook her head. “No,” she said finally. “I guess I wouldn’t.”

And after Jess had given her another significant look before walking off, Kara raised her camera and began to film.

“Mr. Spheer, you’re an ex of Lena Luthor’s, right?”

“Ah, I see this documentary is quite personal. Are you sure that Lena is okay with this sort of thing going into her movie?”

“Well, it’s my movie. But she’s free to ask me to take things out.”

“Fascinating. Yes, I am Lena’s ex. I was quite brokenhearted when she broke it off to move to National City.”

“Oh, she broke it off?”

“So curious, Ms. Danvers. Perhaps you’re interested in something beyond a mere film?”

“W-what? No, that’s—please be serious, Mr. Spheer—”

“It’s Jack to you, my dear. What else do you need to know about Lena? Her favorite flowers are plumerias, her favorite food is—”

“—oh that’s really not necessary. If we could just focus on who Lena is as a person. A friend. A former girlfriend?”

“Hmm, yes. Well, just imagine your perfect woman, Ms. Danvers.”

“Oh, um, I—”

“—exactly, you see Lena. That’s an universal experience, I’m afraid. Lena is simply...too good for this world.”

“So you’d say the treatment she gets by the public is unfair?”

“It’s unfair how much people attack pineapple on pizza, Ms. Danvers. The way they speak of Lena without knowing her? That’s a pure travesty.”

They were about ten days into filming when Kara saw Lena relax for the first time.

She was using the word ‘relax’ rather loosely, of course. Lena didn’t do what Kara did after a long week—put on a pair of sweatpants, order loads of junk food, and watch so much Netflix that it eventually felt the need to ask her if she was still watching. In fact, Lena’s idea of relaxing was more work. Just, fun work.

She was dressed in jeans and a blue shirt, knees pulled up to her chest as she sat at her desk, mumbling under her breath as she did whatever she was doing. (She hadn’t bothered to explain to Kara, had just sighed and acquiesced to the presence of the camera in her home office.) Perched precariously at the tip of her nose were a thick black pair of glasses, her hair falling to her shoulders in gentle waves.

She looked different. Softer, somehow. Gone was all the trappings of a badass CEO, and all that was left was a clever (and beautiful) young woman, working on the things she loved in her spare time.

Kara zoomed in slightly, focusing on Lena’s face, on the furrow between her brows, her lips twisted in concentration. There was something there, something different, and Kara just wanted to—

“Is that camera heavy?” Lena asked, looking up suddenly, a curious expression on her face. She was good at that, the polite looks, gently asking for more information. Tiny eyebrow raises, nearly imperceptible softening of her eyes, lips quirked the slightest bit, all intended to disarm her quarry, making them drop their guard long enough that they give everything held close to their chest away.

“Not really,” Kara answered, grinning at Lena. This made the other woman blink in surprise, clearly not the response she was looking for, that expression on her face shifting suddenly, becoming more calculating. “I work out,” Kara went on to explain, shrugging easily, careful not to jostle the camera. “Besides, it’s not that heavy, I think about five pounds.”

“What kind of camera do you use?”

“Oh, it’s a Panasonic AG-HVX—” she cut herself off. “It’s not that interesting.” Kara adjusted her glasses and made sure Lena’s face was still in focus. Somehow, this made Lena’s tiny smile reappear. She stood up and circled her desk, and Kara was forced to back away to maintain focus.

“You love filming, don’t you?” Lena asked, and Kara blinked, not quite sure where she was going with this.

“Ms. Luthor, as I’m sure you’re aware, this film is about you.”

If she thought this would in any way cow Lena, she was wrong. Lena just grinned, looking like she’d somehow won something.

“Do you know what I don’t understand?” she said with faux casualness, crossing her arms and tapping a finger against her elbow. “Why would you, someone Cat Grant speaks so highly of, be willing to agree to this assignment? Something most people wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.”

Kara frowned, not thinking as she responded. “It wasn’t assigned, Ms. Luthor. I pitched the idea. I wanted to do this.” Lena’s words sank in a moment later. “Wait. Cat Grant spoke highly of me?”

“Why?” Lena asked, no longer smiling.

Kara blinked at the change in tone. “Why what?” she asked, genuinely confused. This was, apparently, the wrong answer, because Lena chose that moment to begin pacing in front of her desk, looking more than a little bothered.

“I don’t get it,” she said as she paced. “I tried to figure it out, looked into you, into your work. I thought maybe you were doing this to build fame, but I’ve seen your work and even without a movie about the last Luthor, I have no doubt you’ll be very popular—”

“Oh, that’s nice of you, thank y—”

“—then I thought maybe you have a vendetta against my family and just want me to look bad,” Lena continued, barreling over Kara’s words and ignoring her entirely, “but the only connection between you and my family is your cousin, Clark Kent, and he’s the journalist who broke the story on my brother, so if anything I should dislike you—”

“That’s not exactly...Clark and I aren’t—”

“—so I really need you to explain it to me. Why did you want to make this film?” She paused her brisk pacing as she asked the question, meeting Kara’s eyes with a fierce look, one Kara was infinitely glad she was capturing on film. Because this, this glint in Lena’s eyes, was why Kara wanted to do this.

“Do you remember the speech you gave when you came to National City?” Kara asked, and judging from the way Lena’s eyebrows rose in response, she was rather thrown by the question. “Because I do. I watched it maybe a few dozen times. All those horrible questions, all the absolute certainty that you were like your brother, and you kept your head up and you promised to prove them all wrong, to make up for what he did.” Kara sighed, shutting off the camera and setting it aside gently. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it. I was...interested. I wanted to see more.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Did I meet your expectations? Disappoint you? What?”

Kara smiled, unable to help it. “Does my opinion on you really matter?”

“Do you always answer a question with another question?” Lena shot back, eyes narrowing.

Kara’s smile just widened and she began to gather her things, preparing to leave for the night. Impressively, Lena didn’t question her further, just watched her then followed her to the door, looking rather cross. Pausing briefly to adjust her glasses and the strap of her bag, Kara turned suddenly and met Lena’s eyes. “You exceeded them. My expectations, that is,” Kara added when Lena offered only a quizzical look in response.

For a moment, Lena didn’t react, then that same look from her office—the softness of her eyes, the curve of her lips, and the pleasantly confused crinkle between her brows—overtook her expression, and she let out a laugh.

“Well, good then.”

“You went to boarding school with Ms. Luthor?”

“I don’t think that’s public knowledge, how do you know that?”

“Um, Ms. Arias told me about you. She mentioned your relationship with Ms. Luthor is unique.”

“Well, Sam would know, wouldn’t she?”

“Ms. Rojas, if you don’t want to speak to me, you don’t have to.”

“It’s fine. Look, Lena and I have been estranged for a while now. I...I did something to break her trust.”

“So would you say that Ms. Luthor is difficult to get along with?”

“No, I’d say that Lena values things like honesty and trust, and—you know that Austen novel? With the man who says that once you lose his good opinion, it’s gone forever?”

“Pride and Prejudice?”

“Exactly. Lena is like that.”

“Ms. Luthor is like Mr. Darcy?”

“No, she’s classic. No matter what’s going on, she’ll endure.”

“So...you were the one difficult to get along with?”

“Have you ever thought about taking your work to a whole new level, Kara? How do you feel about virtual reality?”

“Oh, um, I don’t have particular thoughts? But I’d love to know yours about Ms. Luthor. For the film.”

“She won’t believe this, or that I’m saying it coercion free, but Lena is...a visionary. More than that, she’s just a decent person. Which is more than most of us can say, don’t you think?”

After their conversation, Lena opened up dramatically.

(Well, dramatically was a stretch, but considering how closed off she’d been before, the difference was rather drastic.)

Kara filmed Lena’s visit to an animal shelter, capturing the way her fingers gently ran over the fur of the dog that immediately trotted over to her, placing its head in her lap. Lena had then explained that she went to shelters often, just to volunteer, as she was unable to adopt for fear of not having time to give the dog the attention it deserved.

Later that week, Lena let Kara stay later than usual, putting on some music as she got to cooking, going as far as to teach Kara the basics of the dish, laughing when Kara admitted that her skill in the kitchen was limited to making sandwiches. At one point she grabbed the camera and set it aside, dragging Kara into the kitchen, giving instructions and lessons as she swayed her hips to the music.

(It was silly, it was lighthearted, it was fun, and Kara couldn’t help it.

She forgot she was there to make a film.)

And as the days and weeks dragged on, when Lena showed off her skills at the piano—apologetically explaining she hadn’t had time to really play in months—or when she told Kara about her very ‘nerdy’ stamp collection or even when Lena seemed to ignore there was a camera between them and she began to talk about her day and her hopes for the weekend, Kara forgot that it was a job. She forgot that she was supposed to be making something, paying attention to more than Lena’s smile or the way her eyes lit up whenever she mentioned work she was particularly passionate about.

Somewhere along the way, Kara cared more about the opportunity to spend time with Lena than she did the film itself.

More worryingly, that realization didn’t even bother her.

“Why filmmaking?” Lena asked one morning, pushing coffee and toast towards Kara with a tiny smile. The camera was still in its bag, untouched since Kara had arrived nearly an hour earlier. “Why not journalism like your cousin?”

“My cousin and I,” Kara began awkwardly, adjusting her glasses, “well, our relationship is a little strained, I guess.” She didn’t need the slight tilt of Lena’s head to know that Lena wanted her to keep going, to explain further. She let out a soft chuckle and rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers. “Um, so my parents died when I was twelve. And Clark sort of...left me? I went to live with the Danvers instead, and they bought me a camera for my birthday.” Kara grinned at the very memory, still able to feel its weight in her hand, the eyepiece against her eye. “It was one of those old camcorders, do you remember? The ones with the tapes? I drove them nuts, filming literally everything. I don’t think they ever saw my face for the first few months I was with them, it was constantly behind the camera.” She didn’t explain why she wanted to document every moment with her new family, but judging from the way Lena’s eyes softened, she understood anyway. “From there it became serious. I started making films. School projects, etc. Now I’m here.”

“Why documentaries? Why not something like...oh, I don’t know, action movies?” Lena prodded, looking curious, looking interested, looking like the answer mattered.

Kara just shrugged, suddenly not able to look Lena in the eye. “I guess there’s a part of me that wanted to take after Clark.”

“How long have you been working for Ms. Luthor?”

“Um, this December will make seven years.”

“As her assistant, you have remarkable access to her. What’s she like?”

“Driven, ambitious, works way too hard. I don’t think she’s ever taken a holiday or even a break...but um, maybe don’t say that in the film.”

“Artistic integrity, remember? She works hard, that’s clear. But what about personally? Her relationship with you and the other employees? What kind of boss is she?”

“She cares a lot. A few years ago, before Lex Luthor, well. You know. Before all that, LuthorCorp was facing serious losses. Mr. Luthor wanted to just get rid of entire departments, but Ms. Luthor said the research was vital, and more than that, the researchers were important. She convinced her brother to keep them on—she won’t admit it, but it was more than being persuasive. She paid for it out of her own pocket.”

“So you’d say she’s charitable?”

“No, she’s passionate. And she fights for the things she believes in. Ms. Luthor likes to say that charity implies pity, and she doesn’t do anything out of pity. She just does what’s right by people.”

“Some would disagree, they’d argue that LuthorCorp, and by extension its new iteration, L-Corp, don’t care about people, but about profits. Do you think that’s a fair assessment of the company you’ve devoted seven years to?”

“Look. I get it, people are suspicious of L-Corp because it used to be LuthorCorp. But it’s not just a name change. When Lena took over, she gutted her company. There’s not a single program left from Mr. Luthor’s time as CEO. L-Corp is all Ms. Luthor.”

“So if L-Corp is Ms. Luthor, who is Ms. Luthor?”

“She’s a woman who’s been hurt all her life, Kara Danvers, and whose only goal is to keep as many people as she can from hurting too. Sometimes I just wish she realized she doesn’t deserve to be hurt anymore either.”

“Oh.”

“Also, I don’t care about your artistic integrity, that last bit does not go in the film.”

One afternoon, when Kara was dangerously close to dozing off on the couch in Lena’s office—camera turned off and set aside, not really needing more footage of Lena working at her desk—Lena suddenly jumped to her feet, an excited gleam in her eyes.

“They’ve done it,” she said, the smile forming on her lips so wide that Kara found herself smiling back.

“Done what?” Kara asked, fairly sure this would lead to Lena’s refrain of ‘that’s company business and I’m afraid you’re not privy to that information’ but instead, Lena looked at her appraisingly, then rolled her eyes.

“If I allow you to bring your camera in R&D, do you swear not to film my ongoing projects?”

“You’re going to let me film in R&D?” Kara said excitedly, jumping to her feet and grabbing her camera.

“Kara, do you swear?”

“Yes, yes, of course, Ms. Luthor. I absolutely swear.”

And the next thing Kara knew, she was filming in the one place she’d been told was off-limits, capturing the lab and Lena talking to her researchers animatedly about the advancement they’d made in gene therapy, not entirely surprised when Lena shoved the scientists towards Kara and urged them to brag about their achievement—while also warning them to be as vague as possible—and then sank into the background, clearly thrilled to have her scientists as the center of attention.

And later, when Lena decided to actually take a lunch hour as a ‘reward’ for the great strides L-Corp had made, she took Kara along, bought three different appetizers, and smiled her wide smile before she said, “It’s Lena, by the way. Just Lena.”

Mouth still bulging with the three potstickers she’d practically inhaled, Kara couldn’t manage much more than a nod, but later—when she was alone—she tried saying the name aloud, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

“Mrs. Luthor—”

“It’s doctor, actually.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Dr. Luthor. You adopted Ms. Luthor when she was four, is that correct?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have time for this nonsense. I consented to this interview only to say one thing: Lena was always the more clever of my children, but she’s foolish and soft, and this silly film is yet another example of that.”

“You agreed to meet with me to just say...that. Okay. That’s um. Fine.”

As the weeks dragged on, Kara had little reason to continue filming. Her deadline with Cat Grant was fast approaching, and she had more than enough footage. All that really remained was editing, of putting the final pieces together. But she found herself filming anyway.

Every day, she’d make her way to Lena’s apartment, making flimsy excuses about how certain footage was no good, or had been corrupted, and that she needed retakes of Lena doing ordinary things (like reading the paper, cooking dinner, or talking about her day). She knew that Lena could tell her excuses were just that, but mercifully, Lena didn’t seem to want to call her out on it, merely gave soft reminders not to stay up so late every night to edit (the ‘you could just as easily stop wasting your time here and be editing during normal hours’ going unsaid).

(Jess had rolled her eyes when Kara came by L-Corp and Lena mentioned offhandedly that Kara somehow hadn’t gotten a shot of Lena entering her building in all the time she’d shadowed the CEO, and wasn’t that odd?)

But what Kara knew, what made her stretch out these moments as long as she possibly could, was that once the final product popped into existence, once she showed Lena and got her okay to send off to Cat Grant, that was it.

No more Lena.

And that terrified her.

(So she gathered more footage, fruitlessly hoping that the final product would never be ready, dragging her feet at every step.

She edited, studying Lena’s every expression, tried to pinpoint the exact moment she’d started to fall for the not-so-detached CEO extraordinaire, and wished it didn’t all have to come to an end.)

Two days after Kara had sent Lena the finished film, she got a curt email from the CEO herself with only three words: come see me.

Jess gave no indication about how her boss was feeling when Kara arrived, merely stared evenly at Kara and gestured with her head for her to just go on in. When Kara tried to ask her, Jess shook her head, pointed at the door to Lena’s office, and made a shooing gesture.

“It’s odd to see you without a camera,” Lena said when Kara sat down across from her, trying to keep her hands from fidgeting.

“It’s odd to be in here without a camera.” Kara took a deep breath. “Did you watch it?” she blurted, unable to keep it in. “What did you think?”

“You’re really fond of certain themes,” Lena said, then she raised her eyebrow. “You also filmed quite a bit when I had asked you not to.”

“Artistic integrity?” Kara tried, and Lena...laughed.

“I don’t know if I agree with the way you portrayed me,” she said slowly as her amusement faded. “You took a lot of liberties.”

“I was very faithful to the subject of the film, Lena.”

“What do you think you were trying to say?” Lena asked, waving off Kara’s comment.

“What meaning did you get from it?”

Lena studied her for a moment, as if she was trying to read Kara’s mind. “I’m not some selfless genius, Kara.”

“Is that what you think the film is saying?” Kara asked her, not rising to the obvious bait. “Like I said, Lena. I was very faithful to the subject of the film.” For a long moment, Lena didn’t respond, and Kara felt the worry she’d managed to push away since sending the film to Lena creep back in. “Does this mean you don’t approve of the film?”

“Hmm?” Lena said, distracted. “No, I’ve already sent it along to Cat Grant, giving my okay. Even though you broke our agreement, I can’t deny the final result was very favorable to me.”

“I wouldn’t have made something that wasn’t completely true,” Kara said, somewhat hotly, most of her irritation bleeding away with the knowledge that Cat Grant was in possession of the final product, that the rest was up to her.

Lena smiled, eyes soft, and she nodded her head almost incredulously. “No, you wouldn’t. I know that.” She cleared her throat, seeming a bit nervous. “But I was thinking. I’ve been missing our talks about your work, and I know you don’t like talking about what you’ve made, but perhaps you’d make an exception for me. Would you be willing to give me a private showing of your film? Give me all the insider secrets? I know your subject quite well, it would be a fun exercise.”

Kara’s heart slammed to a stop, the jump-started at the sight of Lena’s amused eyes, that tiny curve of her lips. “A private showing, huh?” Kara mumbled, feeling a little dazed. “I still won’t tell you what I was trying to say.”

“That’s completely fair.”

“But I suppose I could give you some insight on my thoughts.”

“Only if you wanted.”

“It may have to be more than one session,” Kara said, trying and failing to stop the spread of her smile. “There’s a lot of footage you know.”

“So it’s a date?” Lena asked, and Kara couldn’t help her eager nod.

“It’s definitely a date.”

#thank you so much!#supercorp #fanfic

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baureidalvez · 4 years ago

Text

Angels Chasing Demons • Spencer Reid

This is my first Criminal Minds blurb! I'm new to the fandom and haven't even watched the whole thing yet (at the start of s11!) but I couldn't resist writing a little something. Feedback and reblogs would be SO appreciated, as I'm a little nervous to post this!

Summary: you try to hide your feelings from Spencer after he got shot, with little success. Mainly just lots of fluff and emotions!

Word count: 2,181

Episode: 🚨S9 ep 23/24🚨

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?”

You plump up the cushion behind Spencer’s head, being careful not to jostle him, noting the wince in his throat as he settles against the sofa. He nods as much as he can, a small smile on his lips, now that he’s out of the stiff hospital bed and back in your flat where he belongs. He’s on strict bed rest; Rossi told you to hide his work phone for at least a week, but you know he won’t allow that. You know it’ll barely be a few days before he’s asking for it again.

“I think I’m as comfortable as I can be for someone who just got shot in the neck,” He replies, the usual sarcastic twinge to his voice. “You know, the doctor told me that the bulle-“

“Babe,” You swallow the lump in your throat and try not to let Spencer see the tears in your eyes, this being one of the reasons having a profiler as a boyfriend is so inconvenient. You can’t hide anything. He narrows his eyes as he observes you, a free hand reaching to squeeze one of yours. “When it’s been more than a few days and you’ve healed and rested, you can tell me all about the science behind you being shot. For now, I don’t want to hear it.”

He nods once more and remembers that you haven’t seen the things he’s seen; it’s not part of your daily routine to find dead bodies and analyse every aspect to work out who committed such a thing. It’s engrained in him now, it’s second nature – you can listen to so much, but when it’s regarding the sweet man sat in front of you, you can barely look at him without wanting to burst into tears. There has been many tears over the past few days – first following the call from Garcia, and then again in the waiting room as Blake tried to keep you sane.

“I do need one more thing,” He murmurs, his hand still clutching yours, thumb stroking over the back like he doesn’t want to let go. “Will you lay with me?”

There’s nothing you want more than to be close to him, yet you know you need a minute to compose yourself. From hearing that he got shot to waiting for him to come out of surgery, to then hear that Garcia had saved him from being shot once more in a place that should have been safe – it’s all been a little too much. You lean forward to brush a chaste kiss to his lips, his gaze set on you as he waits for your answer. “Of course. Just give me two minutes, okay? There’s definitely three more care packages outside the door that I need to bring in before one of the neighbours takes them.”

“Okay.” He whispers, and you kiss his forehead before tucking the thick blanket over his lap, with a promise to be back in a moment. He sighs and knows that you’re not okay. He’s not okay either – he knows it’s only a matter of time before the nightmares start again, and he won’t be sleeping, but somehow it was easier to deal with when it was just him alone. Now you’re around too, he hates being the cause of your upset. He lays back against his cushion as you close the door to the apartment, and it’s barely a few seconds before tears are slipping down your cheeks. You were right, there is another care package sat on the doorstep, which you know is from Garcia. It’s not the reason you’re out there though, in the silent hall, the only sound being the sobs you’re trying to conceal at the thought of your boyfriend inside. It’s so hard seeing him in pain. He loves everyone around him, he loves his job, he’s dedicated his life to catching the bad guys and protecting people, no matter what it takes. He doesn’t deserve the pain he’s been through, and every time he’s called to a case, you pray to some higher being to keep him safe. Nothing makes your heart race more than an unexpected phone call or a text, your mind instantly going to the worst scenario possible. In this case, it almost had been.

Spencer may be off work and on bed rest, but it doesn’t stop the profiler part of his brain from being awake. He hears the sound he was expecting to hear as soon as you close the door, and it goes straight to tug on his heartstrings. Sometimes he doesn’t have all of the answers, and he doesn’t know what to do. He knows he shouldn’t get up from the couch, and he’s not sure he’ll physically be able to without injuring himself further. He clears his throat before trying to call out your name.

“Honey…” He calls again, when your name doesn’t get your attention. Not enough to come back inside anyway. “I really want to be able to comfort you right now but I physically can’t move, so, can you come back inside please?”

You chuckle behind the door through your tears and shake your head, feeling silly for thinking even for a moment that he wouldn’t know what you were doing. Swiping the tears from under your eyes, you compose yourself as much as you can, picking up the picnic basket full of snacks and tea before pushing the door open again.

“I manage to salvage this one before next door got hold of it,” You try to laugh it off, but he hears your voice wobble, and his eyes follow you as soon as he spots you. “It’s from Garcia again, she left a not-“

“Babe.” He sighs, cutting you off from rambling about anything other than the current situation. “Come here, please? You don’t have to hide from me.” Warm tears are cascading down your cheeks once more when you realise there’s no concealing it, there’s no way to keep it hidden anymore. You don’t want to push him away, but somehow your upset seems less valid than his – he’s the one who had to go through the physical pain, he got shot, it should be you taking care of him. Spencer doesn’t see it that way, though.

“Please don’t cry because of me, love,” He murmurs as you sit down next to him, pressing your face against his sweater covered chest. He wraps his arms around your body and pulls you in close, tucking your face against his shoulder, wetness from your eyes hitting the material as you cry. “Shh, I’m right here, now.”

He lets you cry it out for a few minutes, soothing sounds slipping from his lips, a warm hand rubbing the top of your back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You know you should, that you’re going to have to at some point, although you don’t even know where to begin. Spencer stalls for a few moments though, giving you another minute to calm down.

“Did you know, crying is actually a good thing? Research has found that crying actually does make you feel better, and the lump that you feel in your throat, isn’t actually a lump at all. It’s your autonomic nervous system going into high alert, which enlarges the glottis, the opening in your throat which allows you to get more air in to your lungs. It’s the tension between trying to open and close your glottis that makes it feel like a lump.” He keeps going and all you can do is smile, even though the words aren’t registering; you’re just happy to have your Spencer back and in one piece. “But.. even though it’s a good thing, it doesn’t make it any easier for me to see.”

Spencer feels an urge to comfort people, he hates seeing people cry. He remembers the unsettled feeling in his stomach that he feels whenever he sees JJ cry, or he finds a survivor who can do nothing but let out their emotions. He’s no stranger to crying himself, and if he’s honest, seeing you fall apart in his arms has his own eyes burning.

You rub your cheek against the material of his sweater, the smell soothing and familiar, much different to the clinical scent that clung to him after his hospital stay. “Spence… we almost lost you.”

Your mind flashes back to the beeping of machines, Blake’s arms wrapped around you in the waiting room, clinging onto any shred of hope that he was going to pull through the surgery. You vaguely remember a conversation between Blake and JJ, about how Spencer wants to have kids, and Rossi saying he’s too smart to die – he has too much to live for. It’s all true. He has the rest of his life to live and knowing he got close to almost not having that, is enough to scare you to death.

“We didn’t know if you were going to pull through. My heart sinks every time my phone rings, I just get so worried about you… and then I actually got that call.” You explain, unsure where you’re headed, but knowing he needs to hear it. He listens as you cry in his arms, his thumb gently brushing each tear away as it falls. “I know this is your job, your life, and I would never take that away from you. You’re amazing at what you do, and the world needs you. I just wish I could know that you’re safe. People shouldn’t be allowed to hurt someone like you.”

He exhales through his nose as he thinks of the situation from your perspective. Obviously, he was worried, but he always pushes it to the back of his mind when he’s in the heat of the moment, doing anything he can to protect others around him. He pushed Blake out of the way to keep her safe, and he’d choose that option every time. In the moment, he doesn’t think of the repercussions. It always happens so quickly, and the next thing he knows he’s in the back of an ambulance on the way to the hospital. He hates seeing people that he loves in pain, and he hates getting those calls too. He’ll never forget the feeling of finding out that Garcia had been shot, or that JJ had been tortured. It’s a ball of anxiety that sits in the pit of his stomach, and he realises that must be how you feel, every time he goes on a case.

“The world would be a better place if no-one ever got hurt. I like to think my job plays a part in trying to achieve that,” He replies, fingertips trailing up and down your back as he speaks. “There’s always going to be more cases, more bad guys, but every day, we put more of them away. I know it’s dangerous, but it’s a part of me now..”

“I know, and I don’t want to change that about you.” You assure him, squeezing his hand to get his full attention. “I’m not asking you to change anything. I just wish you didn’t have to get hurt, or be in pain. I’m too scared of losing you. You have too much to give back to the world for that to happen.”

“I love you.” He murmurs, making sure to look right at you, your eyes locked on his. “I know I’m not easy to be with, I’m away a lot, and I get hurt… but everything feels easier with you around. And I wish I could move my neck so I could kiss you right now.”

You laugh and carefully sit up as not to jostle him, moving your face closer so the tip of your nose nudges his. “I love you, too.”

Spencer steals the first kiss, his soft but slightly chapped lips brushing yours, moving his head as much as he can so your foreheads touch. You kiss him back with as much love as you can muster up, wanting him to feel every inch of it, knowing that he does. You sigh contentedly, feeling better after your discussion, but knowing he has a long way to go to heal. The kissing is interrupted by the sound of his phone, and you shake your head, remembering Rossi’s orders to keep it away from him and to not let him answer.

“My phone, can you get it? I can’t move,” He asks, looking around the room from where the sound is coming from.

“Nope,” You reply, shaking your head, punctuating the sound with another kiss to Spencer’s lips. “Strict orders from Rossi, no phone for at least two weeks. You need to rest, and I’m about to go and turn it off.”

He watches as you push up from the sofa, going to find his bag, and pulling the vibrating phone from the front pocket. He shakes his head as he hears you head to the bedroom, keeping it tucked away whilst he recoups. He’s in pain, and he knows he doesn’t have an easy road ahead, but with you to take care of him… somehow, things don’t feel so bad.

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