#i love that muting a post in your notifications does nothing@
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
#fucked it up had to repost damn automatic duration being 1day#texticles#i love that muting a post in your notifications does nothing@#turning off reblogs bcus i didnt expect this to get traction outside maybe mutuals of my mutuals & i dont want to have my feed clogged#by a million people telling me in the tags what song is stuck in their head im sorry but i trumy dont care god bless <3
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
FAIR AND SQUARE âș lhs
SYNOPSIS âș one thing about lifeâ it's unpredictable. for example, you made a note to yourself about not associating too much with heeseung for your own peace of mind, letting him stay as the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, except one thing leads to another and you find yourself face to face with the said man with your feelings all over the place. a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition, let the game begin.
WORD COUNT âș 20.2k
GENRE âș academic rivals / friends to lovers, mutual pinning because they're just competitive and oblivious ft in denial, fem reader, quite the 'he fell first but she fell harder' thing eye guess . . .
WARNINGS âș mentions drinking, sheds light on family issues ( mostly on the reader's side ) bruise and injury, slightest of angst, arguments, suggestive ( fourth section, towards the end ) profanities, let me know if you spot more
PLAYLIST âș tune in for a better experience
NOTE âș i love this fic with all my heart and lungs, even more. anyway, i'm sorry to academic rivals fans, this doesn't have academic blood and gore, as quoted by my dear mai. SPEAKING OF MAI EVERYONE THANK @maiverie FOR BETAREADING THIS FIC!!!!!! im not lying when i say i wouldn't have finished writing this yesterday if it wasn't for her, like thank u for ur super helpful review that got my brain juices flowing :< luv u fr. ALSO both heeseung and reader are taking post grad course so of course, they're aged up ( no ages specified ) have fun reading.
I. BANE OF EXISTENCE
one thing about lifeâ itâs unpredictable.Â
for example, youâre in the library writing and reading papers on the topic you love, the one that youâre supposed to enjoy and the one that will become the reason behind your earnings in the near future, but here you are, sitting with a headache and a cup of coffee on the side. who knew the subject you've liked since grade one will betray you and become the potential bane of your existence? not you, surely enough. wednesday noons are for basketball matches, which explains why the library and hallways are quieter and emptier than usual. even the teachers make time for the tournaments off their busy schedules, itâs understandableâ your university is known for having one of the best sports teams in the league, and the basketball team being the defending champions does nothing but fuel the pride of students and staffs as if theyâre the ones on the court, trying to get the ball in the basket.
you wouldnât say you donât like being a part of the crowd because youâve been to the badminton tournaments and know that watching matches is as interesting as playing, if not more. you just donât have the time to attend any. with assignments piling up and exams âround the corner, youâd rather spend your last two months of the semester studying instead of yelling at the bleachers. you can always get the recordings if you ever feel like watching one, as for the results, the word goes around faster in your department than anywhere else, all because of one of the students being on the team.Â
you try focusing, you really do, but your cup is just as empty as your brain and your phone is going up with notifications. you donât see the point of miyeon spamming the gc with updates on the match when everyone in the group, except you, is with her, watching and cheering alongside. muting is a choice which you choose not to do, and the reason is between you and god, to be honest. long story short, itâs the lack of motivation clogging your thought process and the realisation that your friends are out there enjoying themselves unlike you is blocking any means of logical thinking. a day or two spent not studying wouldnât make you fail the classes, and even if the guilt is pooling inside, you pack your stuff and walk out of the library, making your way to the indoor basketball court.Â
the screams grow louder as you approach, each step reminding you that you still can go back as you choose to ignore it. exams can wait, you tell yourself, a day to myself canât. your mother would tell you to take breaks and go out instead of studying all day, but being on top is an addiction. itâs no good, you wish other students would believe you, itâs a struggle, on the top, at the bottom, everywhere. you expect to turn a few heads as soon as you walk inside, which doesnât happen, but you expected it. you donât watch matches, this could easily be your third or fourth one, and the first basketball match, to be more specific. once you realise that everyone is busy watching the plays instead of noticing who comes and goes from the court, you make your way up to the one friend you manage to spot amidst the crowdâ sung hanbin. indoor bleachers feel more compact than the outdoor ones. you've been to the football match last semester, courtesy of miyeon, and everything being outdoors really helps with the crowd and noise.Â
âdidnât expect to see you here,â hanbin stands next to you, offering you a sip or two from his drink, which you politely refuse, eyes fixed on the court as if it was the home theyâve been searching for. âi thought you hate heeseung,â it isnât until he takes his name that your gaze averts to heeseung. you donât even know why hanbin would outright assume youâre here for heeseung. in fact, that manâs name didnât even cross your mind until he was mentioned.
âhate is a big word, âbin,â your words are more of a whisper laced with hesitation, as if you arenât sure of what youâre saying. hate, actually, is a very big and heavy word. despite its constant usage with your friends, you realise the weight it holds and the impact it has. hate and dislikeâ theyâre different and yet similar enough to be used synonymously at times. not by you, of course, you have a clear distinction between the two, and as of now, you donât know if what you feel for heeseung is a mere dislike or pure hatred. âi just donât like him,âÂ
when he successfully shoots a three-pointer, you come to the decision that you definitely donât hate him. heeseung is, more or less, the typical all-rounder straight-A student, the jack of all trades and fortunately enough, the master of all as well. he's the student teachers use as an example, the son parents wish for, the boyfriend people wished they had. lee heeseung is many things, and one of those is being the reason why you have the second highest score in your department instead of the first position, unlike how it used to be two semesters ago.Â
heeseung transferred departments about thirty weeks ago, from chemistry to bioinformatics. it had been surprising on your side because not many opted for bioinformatics until they were certain of their goal. the course in itself is vast, like an ocean of several different fields and each and every one of them opens a door to a different outcome. bioinformatics isnât something students picked overnight just because it had the vacancy and they didnât like their initially chosen courses. as fun as the subject sounds, it demands consistency and time, something that heeseung lacks. you had seen him attend classes the first few weeks regularly, and then the ghost of him started sitting on the empty seat that belongs to him. skipping classes, arriving late, delayed submission of a couple of projectsâ you knew he wasnât here to stay. it was to pass time, or whatever, you couldnât care, didnât care, not until he started acing the tests, practically dethroning you from your infamous âperfect all killâ title that you had for getting nothing less than a perfect score, most of the time, give and take a few here and there.Â
you still get good scores, amazing even, full score in theory and the same in practicals. itâs going well in lab manuals and project works but heeseung seems to get a perfect score in those too, something you started missing ever since he came into the picture. perhaps, it was something in the way he phrased his essaysâ you hoped it was. rumour has it that heeseung used to be a literature student, which could explain his outstanding english skills and his eloquent way of speaking. you even looked up his debate videos on youtube only to find more evidence on how skilled he is in public speaking.Â
but above all, heeseung is, actually, just a really damn annoying student, quite literally the bane of your existence. heâs always set on stealing peopleâs spotlight during lessons, with you being the people, obviously, always answering questions with information thatâs unrelated and probably even unnecessary. and for the shortest time, you even considered taking him off your âthings i hateâ list because you were no different in highschool. when youâre the top student, it becomes a habit to talk about things as if you know them in your bones and impress teachers. hell, you even had rivals in highschool, although none of them got on your nerves the way heeseung does. basically, he has no reason to call you by weird names everytime you both pass each other in the hallways, or remind you that heâs the top student. âthis is the vice-captain of the basketball team and the best student of the biotechnology department, lee heeseung, informing you on the upââ seriously, no one wants to hear him introduce himself like that when youâre around. youâre pretty sure itâs engraved inside your brain with the amount of times he repeats it everyday. minjeong even says that heeseung is becoming more and more like sunghoon, and you would not know how or why because you didnât attend highschool with sunghoon, unlike her.Â
the court flares up with cheers when heeseung goes for a dunk which ultimately leads to their team winning the match, and you reach the conclusion that maybe you donât hate heeseung but actually want to bang his head against the walls. your eyes follow him around the court, analysing his conduct during the match, the way he communicates so effortlessly with teammates using hand signs or quick phrases, the way he holds the team together when the ball is with him, despite not being the captain. heeseung might be the most unbearable person youâve met so far, heâs actually just fine when his target is not you. youâre sure any other player is doing just as good but nothing comes close to how you see heeseung. itâs different, the light he is in, itâs unique, incredible, and inexplicably addictive. heeseung juggles between classes and basketball, you remember sunghoon talking about his part-time job when you passed by their lockers the other day. he doesnât have it easy, you donât either, but you had those all perfect kills by spending hours in your study while heeseung does better than you while winning matches, making money.Â
it doesnât take you long to realise that what you have for him could be dislike with a hint of jealousy, and you wonder if all the people would react the same way once they know who heeseung really isâ a devil behind an angelic face, one who deliberately likes ruining things for you, as if his life depends on it. you still remember the day he personally texted you the wrong syllabus for a test, claiming that it had been updated and the professor had asked him to notify everyone. âand as you know, i have not been added in the group chat yet so iâm texting everyone personally,â he had lied ever so smoothly as if his words consist of nothing but truth, as if lies are something he hasnât even heard of. kudos to you for studying the original and correct syllabi beforehand, you still aced the test, if heeseung scoring the first rank is overlooked.Â
youâre dragged back from your thoughts to the reality when a boy bumps into you while hurrying down to the players, hoping to get noticed. half of the students act like the team is actually a boy-band, you can see them on the front page of every single edition of university magazine. usually, you prefer waiting for the crowd to disperse before taking your leave from wherever you are, but a sudden reminder about the tests over text from your professor gives you a reason to leave early, all to make sure you could catch up to heeseung. you rush your way out of the bleachers once the teams start leaving the court, eyes fixed on heeseung to take a note of the direction he leaves. hanbin gives you a confused look before the words find their way out of his mouth. âwhere are you going?âÂ
âbasketball shower room,â and your words could give him, and the other people who mightâve heard you, a wrong idea but you couldnât care less. the goal was to see heeseung before he leaves the campus, which was highly likely because no one has it in them to attend four hours of classes after an exhausting match, not even heeseung, no matter how amazing he is.Â
you make your way through the ocean of people, bumping into a few in the process as you make your way to the club room. a silent profanity leaves your mouth once you realise that the club room entrance might be filled with fangirls and boys, left and right, and the thought of shuffling your way out of the crowd to meet heeseung makes you reconsider your actions. heeseung might be a star student but isnât amazing enough for you to step out of your comfort zone and do things to see him.Â
âwell, this is surprising,â your voice manages to turn his head towards the door. âthought youâd be busy with your fangirls, lee,â and it is surprising indeed because the hallways are unexpectedly empty with only a few people around. you would say they learnt to give the players their space after a game but that would be a lie considering the embarrassing history of students when it comes to people on the sports team.Â
âtheyâre probably busy with jake,â heeseung responds with a smile, and even though he turns to his locker just as quickly, you could see the smile dancing on the corner of his lips.Â
jake is rather a new player, a junior to be specific, and jay personally spent days waiting outside the physics department to get the guy on the basketball team. explains why heâs popular amidst students, heâs talented, good at studiesâ seriously, you wouldnât understand how these people manage academics with sports. you couldnât, and even if you managed to, you would end up passing out every few days. âdoes it suck to lose your fan-following to a newbie?âÂ
ânot really. i still have you here,â heeseung wouldnât call it âlosingâ his fan-following because heâs using jake as bait to escape the crowd of students as quickly as possible. a junior has to make sacrifices, in this case itâs to save heeseung by sacrificing himself to the public. although, saying that he still has you looking for him even though a hundred others arenât makes him feel better about himself. âno but seriously, what did you come here for?âÂ
âoh, itâs for the test on friday,â you pull out your phone, opening the group chat with the professor and the students who took the same course. itâs laughable how the universe put you in the exact same situation twice, although with the tables turned this time, and it takes everything in you to not tell him a made-up, wrong syllabi, and do what is rational. âthe syllabi was extended up to chapter fourteen, till page three-ninety-seven. they sent it in the group chat this morning but iâm sure you hardly have time even to think about something else except basketball,âÂ
youâve known heeseung for two semesters but thatâs for the people to say. the truth is, you donât know him outside what he shows to everyone else. you see him come and go, spot him around the bar with his friends on weekends you pass by it. you know he skips classes and asks students for notes. itâs not necessarily from you, though youâd prefer if he would ask you since youâre the best student in the whole department, after him, as much as you hate to admit it. on some days, you see him in the library, earphones plugged in. if you manage to sneak a glance or two, youâd catch him watching the match recordings and taking notes, you wouldnât know what notes someone could take from matches. in short, you donât know heeseung more than how everyone knows him. coming to the shower rooms and notifying him about the test might just be a discreet attempt at striking up more conversations with him, but also, youâre just fine with him being the academic rival slash classmate that he is.Â
âyeah, semi-finals,â heeseung shuts his locker close, a sigh falling off his lips just like the water drops falling on his shoulder from the tips of his hair, after a shower. âdoesnât help that theyâre at the same time as the quarterly assessments. thank you for telling me even though it means youâll end up losing the first position to me once again,â and of course, the heeseung you know wouldnât waste an opportunity to strike up a competition. it would be a lie if you claim to hate it because despite the sour look on your face, a part of you loves these little academic races with him. heeseung makes you strive to do better, heâs like the driving force you lacked which made college a whole lot better. after all, whereâs the fun in getting a perfect score with the bare minimum effort, without some challenges knocking at your door?Â
âwhat can i do, iâm all about fair play,â thereâs a subtle shade behind your words, reckoning to the multiple incidents of him ruining things for you. this could take a really nasty turn if you were to resort to his ways, except you wonât because youâre better than him. âgood luck, and weâll see who loses the first position to whom,âÂ
heeseung wipes his hair before switching to texting on his phone, the smile still adorning his face like a jewel. you assume itâs the delight from winning a match, itâs obvious. his eyes couldnât help but sparkle at every little achievement, always looking forward to something more, something challenging, thatâs lee heeseung for youâ someone who knows he has an easier way around things but would deliberately walk down another path and test his limits. shocking how it took you one basketball match to see the passion he has for things heâs interested in, that heâs more than a sport jock or a straight nerd, heâs more than someone who takes courses to pass time, more than someone who is just a show-off.
âheeseung,â the dislike, the hatred, the envy, it might all be a lie. âwell played today,â because in the end, thereâs a minimal possibility that youâre leaving the room with nothing but the slightest of admiration for the guy who is nothing but an obstacle between you and that first position in upcoming finals in two months.Â
and it would be a lie too to claim that your words didnât catch heeseung by surprise.
II. RIVALRY, FEELINGS, ETCETERA.Â
it has been a little over one day since heeseungâs conversation with you outside the shower rooms, twenty-seven hours to be exact. twenty-seven hours of him hearing the same last words over and over again, twenty-seven hours of him failing all and any attempts at straight thinking and twenty-seven hours of him not thinking about anything except you. all of it ends up in three hours of practice and not one good shot from heeseung. the sighs and snickers from teammates fill the court every few secondsâ truthfully, they never leave. heeseung is simply too lost to pay attention to them.Â
âheeseung, you good?â a pat on shoulder from jake and the words following soon after manage to pull him out of his spiral of thought, even if itâs for a brief second.Â
âheâs not, wonât be anytime soon,â sunghoon replies as if the answer was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be revealed. âyn came to watch the last match, after all,â thereâs a smirk on sunghoonâs face, heeseung can tell it in the intonation of his words.Â
jay pauses just seconds before going for a layup, joining the conversation. âwait, she did?âÂ
âyep, saw her standing next to that hanbin guy or something,âÂ
âmate, you cannot be acting like this over a girl and that too, four days before finals,â this conversation, as a whole, is beyond jakeâs comprehension. a part of the reason could be because he joined the team late, thus missing out on a huge chunk of internal jokes and gossip and goes amidst the players. and no amount of reasons can convince him into thinking that itâs fine to act out-of-character before important matches just because your crush showed up at one of your matches.Â
âsheâs not just some random girl. she never attends matches, but she came to watch my match,â heeseung clarifies as if the reasons behind his antics are valid and acceptable. âyou wouldnât know how i feel right now,âÂ
âyouâre on cloud nine, we know, your crush gave you the attention youâve been lacking but trust me, she would ignore you just as efficiently if she sees you perform like this,âÂ
âsheâs not a crush,â and despite it being a well known fact amongst the basketball team that heeseung has a thing or two for you, he always refuses to accept it. one can say itâs the pride thing. you barely even talk to him unless itâs about studies, and your conversations are mostly along the lines of who outdoes whom in tests and assessments. moreover, everyone knows heeseung is the reason why youâre the second best student in the departmentâ as much as you hate to admit it, againâ because he transferred and flipped your world, probably even dribbled around with it like a basketball. a word goes around every few days about you glaring at him in class, which is not true, youâre instead focusing your eyes on something in an attempt to think. he just happens to sit right in front of you and be the object of focus. heeseung might as well believe that you hate him, even though yesterdayâs conversation was far from how people talk when they hate each other, and his assumptions could account for the constant words of denial that fall off his lips.Â
jay snickers before landing a hook successfully. âyeah, and iâm a pigeon,âÂ
âoh, shut it, jay,â heeseung turns to look at the other boy. âsheâs just someone i admire. have you read her essays? her papers? god, weâre a year away from graduation but sheâs already writing mind-blowing papers, one of them was even published in the monthly issue of some magazine. sheâs already on her best performance and still tries to do better, always down to guide juniors with lab work and also is on the research team for the paediatrics department at asan medical centre. all this, and she studies all day. if i were her, iâd pass out. i canât go a day without entering the court,âÂ
âand he says he doesnât have a crush oh her,â sunghoon rolls his eyes, itâs like if he heard another line of excuses from heeseung, he could see the back of his skull and have a look at hs big, fat brain.Â
âbecause i donât? you guys never had someone you admired so much that they practically became your role model despite being in the same year?â unlike other things that heeseung does, calling you his role model has a reason. first, it can give him a reason to talk to you. heeseung is almost convinced that you hate him, and if this persists, it would get harder and harder for him to approach you, but with the lieâ half lieâ of you being his role model and so wonderful that he couldnât help but admire you from afar while trying to overcome his social anxiety gives him a reason to talk to you. plus, it sounds plausible, he doesnât understand why his brother says itâs bound to fail.Â
the second reason and more to do with his friend group. no one in his friend circle is capable of keeping a secretâ jay ends up spilling tea unconsciously, jake tells one person who he trust and that person turns out to be the most untrustworthy person ever, beomgyu, well heâs on the team but telling him would be like standing on a stage and announcing to the whole campus, and sunghoon, heâs the mother, he cannot digest food without disclosing secrets. even if itâs common knowledge that heeseung has a tiny crush on you, denying it in front of the whole campus everytime one of them brings it up helps him with his reputation and fortunately, ends up keeping it a secret. besides, heâd rather have people tease him for calling you his role model than having a crush on you.Â
âi surely donât have someone i admire to the point i read all their papers and know each and everything theyâve volunteered for,â jay argues back, set on proving his point. âtell me what am i gonna do knowing that sheâs on the paediatrics research team?âÂ
âi think this is the most iâve known about yn ever since classes started and that too, because of heeseung,â beomgyu chuckles, earning a side eye from heeseung in the process.Â
âenough, letâs get back to practice,â heeseung intervenes in an attempt to change the topic. he does not want his closest friends making fun of him for liking someoneâ itâs supposed to be human nature to have a crush.Â
âyou get back to practice because youâre the only one fucking up because of your silly little crush. iâm done, jay, call me when weâre having a practice match because i need to attend theology or my professor would write me up,â taehyun passes the ball to sunghoon, the latter yelping in surprise at the sudden yet successful catch.Â
âi donât have a crushââ
âof course, letâs get you back to practice,â jake cuts heeseung off mid sentence, moving back to take his position as sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung, who, as expected, misses the catch due to lack of concentration.
itâs going to be a long day for the team.Â
.Â
.Â
.
âa little birdie told me you went to see heeseung in the shower rooms?â are the words you hear as soon as your classes are dismissed, miyeon walking up to you and hanbin discussing the set of questions your professor distributed just a few minutes ago.Â
âi didnât go into the shower rooms, i was outside, near the lockers,â and thereâs a difference. to be in the shower room implies you were there in the shower, which definitely gives rise to several wrong ideas of different levels. specifically, you didnât even enter the locker room. you were outside, leaning against the door, watching heeseung as he walked freshly out of the shower, a towel around his neck, you both strike up a small talk. yeah, that was the scene, not with you in the shower and whatever miyeonâs imagination leads to after that.Â
âso you did go!â she claps her hands together as if itâs a celebratory occasion, turning her head to look at the boy next to you. âwhat were you saying about yn not having a crush, habin?â
âitâs not a crush, miyeon,â and itâs trueâ heeseung is not a crush. heâs a classmate, a rival, an over-qualified and impossibly competitive student, someone you would want to take your time to study. âwhat, i canât even go to tell a classmate about the updated syllabus for a test now? i wouldâve done that for anyone, not just heeseung,âÂ
hanbin sighs, packing his bag. âsure, but heâs in the groupchat. he couldâve checked it himself,âÂ
âum, i doubt that,â youâre preparing a powerpoint in your head, multiple slides on why you needed to do what you did. âheâs busy with basketball and i know how he gets when the matches are around the corner. donât you remember how he skipped two weeks of classes straight because of matches last semester? and itâs the finals this time, i donât think he even opens texts about anything thatâs not basketball. i mean, he responded to my messages six days later because he was busy with practice,âÂ
you say it like youâve known heeseung for a decade and have been through the ups and downs with him. you wouldnât care about who does what in the classes, if itâs a paper plane flying right over you, landing just second to the first row of seats or if itâs someone being brave enough and playing music during lectures. biology, in your opinion, is a subject for those who are serious about doing something unique while staying in the academic field. you donât encounter troublemakers often, once a blue moon if the heavens make a mistake. on other days, itâs quieter than a library, emptier than cemeteries at night.Â
to think your life as a biotechnology major got interesting after heeseung switched majors is astonishing and equally debatable.Â
âi donât see why i should remember all that about âjust a classmateâ but thanks for telling,â and before you know it, hanbin and miyeon are out of the class, on their way to wherever their next stop is. seriously, theyâre having it easier than you. they go to games, movies, drink on weekendsâ something you havenât had a taste on ever since the year started. somewhere, you could be blamed for your hectic schedules. studies, lab work, and thesis, they suffice for all the stress a student in post graduation studies can handle. volunteering and writing papers is on you, things wouldnât have been arduous if you had decided to move slowly, one step at a time. sometimes, the hunger for more leaves you starvingâ quite literally.Â
you spend an hour or so in the classroom along with a few other students, going through the same old routine of yoursâ watch videos, take notes, transfer them to your document in your own words and make it sound as innovative and convincing as possible. heeseung would be better at this than you. youâre exhausted to the point that accepting your defeat to him doesnât even faze you anymore. he used to be a literature student, had english as a side course as an undergrad, heâs bound to be better than making essays sound they came right out of shakespeare's drafts, phrases and metaphors that would put fitzgerald to shame.Â
you didnât care about what went down in your classes until heeseung came along. call it craziness or the weird impression you have of students in your field, heeseung is far from the typical biotechnology student aiming for a postgraduate degree. he skips classes, plays basketball as if studies are a side business, and yet still manages to ace every test like an all-rounder. he shouldnât even be in classroom, he should be in the labs, being the most important subject of studies. there are days you think of him as a social experimentâ how quickly can a robot piss off a straight-A student with its impeccable skillsâ of course, the subjects wouldnât know itâs a robot but you do, youâre almost convinced he is one. thereâs no way heâs the top student with the amount of effort he puts in. one would claim that he studies after classes, at home slash dorms, but you can bet your life he doesnât. there have been numerous instances when youâve spotted him in the background of someoneâs picture at a bar. heâs always with people, he has a humongous friend group, god knows how someone can live like that. at first, you were convinced he isnât real, as worrisome as it sounds, and if he is real then he needs to be studied.Â
which leads to what youâre doing right nowâ making your way to the basketball court. you donât know how or why youâre doing it. you started with your studies, ended up thinking about heeseung, and now youâre on your way to the basketball court. although, itâs not half a bad idea, now that you think about it once again.Â
your mind goes all the way back to when you watched him play for the first time, which was just a day ago actually. you donât know anything about basketball, you donât know much about heeseung either, but thereâs one thing youâre sure ofâ heeseung is class and heeseung on the court, theyâre different. youâve noticed the way he clicks his pen relentlessly out of nervousness when he canât solve a question, the way his back tenses up for a fraction of a second as soon as heâs asked to explain something. youâve seen the hints of fear in his eyes when he asked you for notes last semester just three days before exams, scared that he would fail. heeseung isnât sure of a lot of things and basketball isnât one of those.Â
âyouâre not practising?â you ask him when you swim out of your thoughts, watching him climb up the bleachers and sit next to you. the court seems much better when itâs empty, free from the loud cheers of spectators, but that could be just you.Â
âi was, as you see, but i saw you up here and thought it was time for a break,â you could see his teammates shake heads at him in disappointment, proceeding to continue with their practice. âwhatâs up?âÂ
you donât respond to him and instead, take your time watching the others practise their shots. you watch the way one of them, who you think is taehyun, goes for a dunk, credits to hanbin for telling you names for a few shots. next to you, heeseung shouts out a tip or two for the boy for him to have an easier and effective approach at the said move. heeseung is good at dunks, youâve heard it from students, youâve seen it in the last match as well. just one shot was enough to tell you how good he is at it, itâs like basketball flows in his veins, like he can close his eyes and still manage to get a basket.Â
your eyes ghost up the court and shift to himâ thereâs a content smile on his face, a relaxed posture as if thereâs nothing for him to worry about. he takes a sip from his energy drink, you wonder if he, or anyone from the team, even gets time to have their meals. the expression on his face, itâs something youâve never seen on him during lessons. it takes you back to the match, how he looked on court a day before, certain of every move he made, every step, every breath, without doubts, no second thoughts. youâve done enough lab projects with heeseung to know how his hands shake when heâs preparing a slide or extracting a sample from a centrifuge, afraid that one wrong move and he would mess up the efforts of everyone in the group. that hesitation is nowhere to be seen on the court, gone like it has never existed. as if lee heeseung, the star student and player, has never had an encounter with nervousness and hesitation in his life. thereâs a thin line between studies and sport for him, you finally realise it after much consideration. maybe, youâre going beyond your boundaries and making assumptions about a guy you barely know, even if you would never voice all these thoughts to him, you think you know the reason why thereâs a different him on the stage when the ball is in hands. Â
âhow did you realise that you like basketball? you know, like it enough to devote so much of your time and have it alongside studies?â because even if biotech is something heâs studying and wants to make a career in, you guess that itâs just a source of satisfaction. in your eyes, through your perception, basketball is what makes him truly happy.Â
you donât know why someone wouldnât pick satisfaction over happiness, especially when itâs coming with its hands full of opportunities to grab that bag.
âeh, i donât have a sob story about it, if that is what youâre hoping for,â he chugs down the contents of the can before crushing it to the slightest, eyes squinting at the opposite wall before they move back to meet yours. âi never had to sit and think about basketball and studies, you know, as in how am i going to manage both of them. it just happened. i started playing basketball in middle school and it has been with me ever since,âÂ
heeseungâs side of the story is simpleâ a mediocre guy who was introduced to sports by his older brother and now, itâs one of the most important things in his life. middle school heeseung preferred staying in and playing video games instead of going out. in fact, middle school heeseung resembles you in all the ways that make him different from you right now. he has been good at learning and remembering things, he takes liking to things quicker than others do. basketball was like for himâ easy, quick, fun, like a way to release all the stress after a long day at school. in heeseungâs story, there isnât a main character who helped him choose the path heâs walking right now. instead, all he had was his family who introduced him to the various aspects and opportunities, and he simply ended up joining hands with the ones he liked, deciding to not let it go before the dead end.Â
âi want to have that passion for things,â a soft laughter falls off your lips, itâs an attempt to make your sob story look less pitiful. âi used to paint and play pianoâ but painting, mostly, was really good at it. i learnt how to draw before i learnt how to tie my shoelaces. i couldnât go a day without painting, but then highschool happened, i had pressure to do well, expectations from friends and family, had a dream outside painting, and now, i havenât painted in years,âÂ
unlike heeseung, art started as more than just a side business to you. itâs not something you were introduced to in the middle of your life but rather is something you grew up with. you can blame or credit your mother for making paintings and having them in almost every corner of your house. itâs one of the reasons why at five years old you were beyond fascinated at all the patterns and colours. no one wouldâve guessed that science would manage to sweep you off your feet right from the first grade, given the way your hands danced a duet to their own melody along with a paintbrush, as if each stroke has a conscious life of its own. no one wouldâve guessed that your mother would tell you to stop painting and focus on studies, neither would they have known that she would become the reason why you no longer feel the same way about art. as stated before, life is unpredictableâ because no one wouldâve guessed that sitting here on the bleachers with heeseung and sharing a piece of your life would water the seeds of doubts in your heart, the ones that bloom at the sight of him.
he thinks your story is sadâ with all due respect, without sarcasm, of course. itâs the best he can say. âi think itâs more of a âconnectionâ thing. you think youâve lost the connection but you simply need to pickup a canvas and some colours to relink, if you get me,â because heeseung has had somewhat of a same experience, with music, and sitting front of a piano to play one of sibeliusâ symphonies after senior year highschool finals was all it took him to find his lost interest in music. even though itâs nothing more than just a hobby, even if it's just something he considers as a way to pass time, heeseung knows how it feels to let go of something that is an integral part of oneâs life.Â
âit has always been about timing, heeseung,â you shake your head, trying to prove him wrong using your own arguments. âyou think i havenât tried painting again? i still have art supplies stacked up in my cupboard. itâs all about timing. when you like something, you only get a few chances to make sure it stays with you for a lifetime. how many people do you know who have given up on their hobbies because they claim to have lost interest? the thing is, the interest is still there, itâs the inability and fear of not being able to do it again. if you timing is off, no matter how much you try, things wonât work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life,âÂ
a pause. he sits still, eyes admiring your face while his mind is busy replaying your words in the back of his head. heeseung wonders how valid they are when it comes to people. he likes you, despite the constant denial which is only for show, by the way. it doesnât take a scientist to read him. reading him isnât even close to rocket science, he doesnât understand how you havenât caught up even after being incredibly smart. he has seen you hang out with hanbinâ heeseung hates that guy, by the way. thereâs no solid logic, itâs just that hanbin seems to be around you all the time and heeseung thinks of him as a leech sucking blood off its host. heeseung would never admit but itâs just his jealousy playing tricks on him, and even though it doesnât look like you have any romantic feelings towards that guy, it would be fucking embarrassing for heeseung lose you to a guy who isnât even half as qualified as him. ( yes, he is judging characters based on academic qualifications, no heeseung wouldnât explain why )
âi like you,â and so, he lets his feelings win for once, deciding to let his heart take control instead, closing doors to any room for rational thinking like it never existed. âyou said it was about timing, about trying hard enough and having only a few chances, perhaps, just one bullet, and iâm shooting my shot right now. i donât want to remember you as a closed chapter of my life,âÂ
it would be such a waste of chemistry if you end up becoming just a closed chapter of his life. heeseung has done his research, more like reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies to understand the potential that two academic rivals have. no one knows this, not even his closest friends, but heeseungâs favourite genre might simply be enemies to lovers and living that trope doesnât sound as bad when itâs with you. he has spent hours thinking about the number of productive library dates you could have, working on projects together and brainstorming about the next biggest revolution in the RDT world, changing the publicâs outlook at genetics forever. it sounds stupid and makes him sound even stupider, even as a lost cause, but heeseung doesnât care. in his mind, itâs the best date someone could have. to live and become successful together, it sounds like a perfect plan to him.  Â
truthfully, you have always been a part of heeseungâs future, near or distant. he always always pictures you in his life, standing next to him during graduation, bidding goodbyes at farewell, exchanging shy greetings at reunions ten years later while reminiscing about everything he did to irritate you, that would sound embarrassing a decade later. your presence will always be significant to him, he just hopes to remember you as something more than just a rival, just a classmate he never really got to know, just a person he spent his two years hating upon, just a crush he didnât get to confess to.Â
the catchâ heeseung has already started picturing his future and you are not even sure of your presentâ and while he is looking at you for an answer, youâre lost inside your head, looking for words to articulate.Â
heeseung is someone you planned to stay away from for the rest of your university life. him stepping into your life already costs you a lot, namely: dropping in ranks and losing your infamous title. his actions cost you the time you could use to study, which is actually upon you because you can simply ignore him instead of spending hours on thinking about his hows, whens and whats. heeseung was supposed to be the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, but beyond rivalry, feelings, etcetera. you knew the way you felt about him, even though you couldnât be as certain as him, or even to claim you see him the same way he feels about you.
turns out, heeseung has always been sure of certain things in his life.Â
âheeseung, iâmââ
ânot sure? busy? stressed? i know you have a lot of things going on right now. take your time, study for the finals, finish your papers, sort out your own issues and then come back to me. iâll be waiting,â itâs like heâs not only good at studying but also at reading minds, because heeseung seems to have guessed a part of exactly what youâve been thinking. call it timing, jay calls him to get back to practice just a few seconds laterâ a perfect excuse to leave. âlooks like my break is over,âÂ
you sit speechless, watching him walk away like an opportunity that just walked out of your hand. it feels like a slight defeat, like a test you failed when you could've scored better, if not a full score. it's funny because this wasn't a competition, you weren't rejected, more like you rejected him, but it still feels like he has the upper hand. it's funny and equally annoying because heeseung is supposed to be nothing more than just a nobody, somebody you aren't even supposed to spare two thoughts on, but here you are sitting with the guy with your feelings all over the place.Â
âheeseung,â you stand up, your voice making him turn to look at you, both of you ignoring the sight of his teammates standing motionless in their positions, too stunned at your voice reverberating in the almost empty court. âletâs do this: if you manage to stand first in the finals, iâll date you,â
a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition. his lips morph into a smirk, the ones he'd pass you before tests, an open challenge offered directly to you. âand if i donât?â
and you mirror the same smirk back at him, you weren't going to back off simply because it's about the person you possibly have a crush on. âi become just a closed chapter of your life,âÂ
let the game begin.Â
III. LIAR AND THE LOVER
despite heeseungâs sudden confession, youâre doing quite well, taking it better than expected. you had your moment of confusion back when the words of proposal fell off his lipsâ anyone would. after all, itâs lee heeseung weâre talking about. you can only imagine the saddened faces of his fangirls once they hear about him confessing to you. Â
âjay told me you made a bet with heeseung?â hanbinâs question catches your attention as soon as he steps into the cafe, managing to turn a few heads towards you in the process.Â
âyou know jay?âÂ
he sits next to you, pulling out his laptop in a hurry. you can guess itâs because of his essay thatâs due before six in the evening, one he couldâve written last night instead of getting wasted at his friendâs birthday gathering. âwe share history, also, thatâs not the answer to my question,âÂ
âitâs not a bet, âbin,â your words arenât half wrong. âjust a silly game, yâknow? i didnât even expect him to agree,â frankly, even you donât know why or how you came up with such a bizarre idea in broad daylight. usually, people get bouts of excitement or embarrassment while confessing or being confessed to, but in your case, you jumped over the fence and made a proposal that you have only seen in fiction.Â
ânah, no way youâre setting up your whole love life for failure and calling it a silly game,â the disappointment is evident in hanbinâs voice as his fingers danced over his keyboard, typing with a speed that could leave the trains behind. well, people tend to get like that when you have an assignment due and the deadline is just a few hours to go. you guess that heâs too busy to even listen to your reasoning, which is appreciated considering you have no reasoning as for why you did what you did.Â
âyou made a bet with heeseung,â you turn your head around, making the boy next to you do the same in the process. itâs miyeonâ you shouldâve seen it coming, honestly. your actions have consequences, as always, and one of them is dealing with her non-stop interrogation as if youâre the prime suspect for some gruesome crime and every question answered wrong opens gates to capital punishment. sometimes, you wonder why she didnât go with studying law instead.Â
âhow do you know?â
âeveryone knows, yn. itâs all theyâve been talking about,â she sighs, sitting opposite to you while taking a look at hanbinâs laptop. âeven the football fanatics are talking about attending the game, god, hanbin we better hurry that day or weâre not getting a seat,â you shouldâve seen it coming, honestly. miyeon might not be the most social person, but she definitely is the most updated. nothing escapes her, every tiny incident reaches her ears one way or another, and if not, then she just finds out about it using her sources, given you donât know about her sources. itâs one of the reasons why youâre almost convinced that she runs a shady side business alongside her career in bioengineering.Â
you take a sharp breath, going through the bunch of papers arranged in your file. âitâs not that serious. he confessed to me and i said iâd date him if he manages to secure the first position in the finals as well,âÂ
âyou did that knowing he hasnât been studying because of games while youâre studying like your life depends on it? thereâs no way heâs going to be first, and everything aside, it was a wrong fucking move to play with his feelings,â play with his feelingsâ a pause, you donât like how it sounds. youâre not playing with his feelings, thatâs far from what youâre doing. itâs a game, a competition, new to your friends but you and heeseung have always been familiar with it. thereâs an unspoken rule to test each otherâs limits. the last time you and heeseung did something like this, it resulted with you writing âlee heeseung is smarter than ln yn,â in bold on a sheet of paper and putting it on the notice board for the whole campus to see. in your eyes, it's history repeating itself yet again. sure, there is something else at stake, but the rules are the same, and you donât know why your friends are acting like youâve done something terribly unethical.Â
âno oneâs playing with his feelings, miyeon, and i know for a fact heâs making time to study for finals,â you clarify your side, slight annoyance evident in your voice. âbesides, it doesnât matter. itâs not like this is serious, i only did this to buy time to figure out my feelings while the game gives me a reason to study and not get distracted. you know how i get when i lose focus,âÂ
that could be the reasoning behind your actions, of course. even while sitting in a cafe with your friends and having a conversation that is about to make your blood boil, youâre thinking of heeseung in the back of your head. his words play over and over again like a broken record player, the image of him on court or studying pops up in your mind every now and then. obsession is a disease and you have it bad. itâs crazy to be thinking about someone so much without being absolutely floored for them.Â
âso youâll date him despite the outcome?â hanbin drags you out of the well of your thoughts, a question that leaves miyeon flabbergasted.Â
âif i manage to figure out my feelings then of course,â a chuckle falls off your lips. âiâm telling you guys, itâs not that serious. iâm sure he knows it too,â and youâre really confident about thisâ it usually never ends on a good note.Â
âand if he doesnât? what if itâs serious for him? yn, you never know how one thing might affect someone, and feelings are not something to gamble on. you shouldâve told him you need some time to think instead of giving him a false hope or whatsoever,â itâs now that you start having second thoughts. the next two hours go by amidst silence, a few small talks blooming here and there, but dissolving just as quickly within the ticking clock of deadlines for assignments and exams.Â
it doesnât take a scientist to know when miyeon is upset, for she isnât the best at masking her emotions. through the sneaky glances at her that youâve stolen over time, you can tell sheâd rather spend the evening in silence than talk to you, which is a challenge with herself because sheâs really talkative. it takes two to sing a duet, two to play and game, two people to make a relationship work. heeseung and youâ the two of you are enough to make decisions for yourselves, decide whatâs right and wrong and, something about miyeon questioning your choices doesnât sit right with you.Â
too many cooks spoil the broth, itâs the principle of your life, the words youâve been following to this date. it was your decision to have a few friends instead of a fiftyâ quality over quantity, as one might call itâ and there has never been a moment when you regretted having a handful of people to call friends. instead of consulting too many people about your major in university, you simply went with what your parents and homeroom teacher suggested. life has been good so far. the more the better is something that isnât applicable in your case. instead of telling everyone about your dilemma regarding heeseung, you decided to keep it to yourself, eventually opening up to heeseung when the time comes. youâre doing just fine on your own, it doesnât make sense to you why a third personâs opinion is making you doubt your decision making abilities that youâve been so proud of.Â
this is not a gamble, you tell yourself, itâs a fair play. you gave him options, he made the choice, itâs consensual. you didnât force him into this game, he didnât pressure you to respond, itâs a harmless competition thatâs bound to have a positive outcome. you even spend a good fifteen minutes wondering if you should go back to heeseung and take it all back in case he finds it insensitive to put his feelings on the line. doing it in person seemed impossible so you resorted to texts, typing and deleting your message before giving up altogether. in your head, this was an okay decision. a sweet confession, a person with unsure feelings, a harmless competition.Â
you hope it doesnât backfire ten times worse.Â
.Â
.Â
.
three days later, you find yourself on the way to basketball club rooms once again. you checked the court, it was empty, and your only option was to check the club slash locker rooms if you wanted to see heeseung. okay, first things first, you donât miss himâ maybe a little, but itâs because you miss hearing his weird ass answers in class even though theyâre right. heeseung just has an unique approach to things, in other words he simply knows how to buy time and go in detail about things heâs an expert at to impress the professors. however, that doesnât seem to be the case for him because he has approached you six times in the past three days, asking if youâre free to hangout.Â
you like to think he misses you or that his requests were because he wanted to make sure you donât study and lose to him, either could be true. knowing heeseung, heâs capable of going both ways. whatever may be the reason, you turned him down all six times, and itâs not because you have something against himâ of course, you donât. thatâs common knowledge by nowâ your reason for not hanging out with him is studies, as expected of you honestly. the bet aside, you had way too many chapters to learn before exams and all heeseung ever does is take up your headspace everytime you sit down with your books spread open. avoiding him in thoughts wasnât possible so avoiding him in person was your last straw.Â
which leads to the present : you rushing to heeseung, again, not because you miss him but because you need his help, though one of the reasons could be that you feel bad for turning him down six times. you can hear muffled laughter from a distance as you approach the club rooms, a bang against one of the lockers, a loud profanity that follows afterwards. their humour is beyond your level of understanding.Â
âheeseâ oh, umââ you greet and turn away just as quickly when you realise that one of them is shirtless. itâs obviously heeseung, you canât mistake his face for someone else. and youâre guessing heâs the last one to come out of shower because everyone else is dressed, maybe heâs someone who likes to take his time showeringâ you seriously need to stop thinking before your imagination goes bonkers. âsorry, can you come outside for a second when youâre ready?â
another round of laughter follows, more like teasing remarks because you can swear you heard a few of them refer to you as his girlfriend, and it gets you a little flustered, you wonât lie. you even hear one of them yell âooh, get it, heeseung,â as heeseung walks out, fixing his t-shirt, responding back with his middle finger up at whoever made the comment.Â
âhi,â his voice isnât much louder than a whisper, eyes fluttering between you, the floor, and his teammates who pretend to not look when you peek inside. thereâs a soft smile on his faceâ itâs cute, you think, and then rethink what you just thought. heeseung is, well, not cuteâ usually. heâs good-looking, handsome, hot, sexy, even, since youâre on the topic of finding adverbs that suit heeseung. cute is rarely one of them, you donât think youâve seen him as flustered as he is right nowâ rubbing his nape, a tint of pink on his cheeks, avoiding eye-contactâ thatâs far from the heeseung youâve been seeing for past two semesters.Â
âhi, can you send me the pdf of the extra set of questions that prof sent last week? i think i accidentally deleted it while clearing up my storage,â you get straight to the point, trying not to waste much of your precious time. âi couldâve texted you but figured youâd be too busy with practice to check messages,â you remember what happened last time; he took six days to reply to your texts. youâre quite a patient person otherwise but in this case, youâre in dire need of questions to practise for tomorrowâs mock.Â
âah, sure, give me a minute,â and he pulls out his phone, scrolling through an ocean of files and documents to look for the one you need. you do think heâs gorgeous though, itâs a well known fact that heâs stunning, but you think this look of heeseung surpasses the other ones quite easilyâ hairs wet after shower, partially covering his forehead, a white t-shirt thatâs slightly wet near the shoulders because of the water dripping downâ you wish heâd at least dry his hair before catching a cold. âactually, i would have replied to your texts if you hadâ oh, yes, there you go. do you want me to email it to you orâŠ?â
âoh, just texts would be fine, thank you,âÂ
âdone,â a pause, you feel his eyes on you as you go through the pdf to take a brief look at the contents. âdo you want to go for a walk? or are you getting back to studies?â at this point, youâre sure that question is a way to tease you about your obsession with studies. heeseung may think youâre overdoing it because you want to win, but itâs no more than the normal amount of hours you spend studying. he never paid you any attention to care about that.Â
âno, iâm done for today, actually,â and thatâs a big fat lie considering you were planning to solve some questions and revise two chapters before leaving the campus, but itâs fine. you feel bad for rejecting him six times either way.Â
never in your life did you imagine that youâd be going on a walk with heeseung. itâs nothing serious, you just didnât think there would be a day where you two would have normal people conversation while doing normal people activities instead of trying to disparage each other based on grades and academic performances. to think about it now, heeseung isnât half bad, it was all in your head. itâs not like you had vile assumptions about him, you did find him annoying and way too pridefulâ anyone like him would be, actually, and heeseung is still quite humble about his achievements because if it was someone else, they sure would have made it everyoneâs problem.Â
actually, heeseung is insufferable as well. you remember your first encounter with him, first and so far, the worstâ in the laboratory. you and heeseung sat next to each other and when the professor asked him to briefly explain his experiment, you realised itâs oddly similar to yours. you had accused him of cheating, like any sane person would, which led to him getting two scores less than a perfect. he only lost one score because of you, actually, and that too because you were professorâs favourite and heeseung was new to the department. the other score, you donât know where he missed, but that incident led to heeseung deleting your powerpoint thirty minutes before your presentation, which led you stealing his notes and selling it some junior through an undercover twitter account, which led to the professor asking you to help him with notes before exams, and everything ultimately led to the realisation that heeseung is actually quite decent if you behave with decency as well. the give and take is serious for him, because he gave you notes and so, you had to take his offer of going on a walk. even though it seemed like you had a choice, a part of you knew it was a mirage. you wouldâve ended up on a walk with heeseung one way or another.Â
âi come here whenever iâm tired or just not feeling well,â he says and you wake up from your daydream of memories you shared with heeseung. the way he phrases his words makes it sound like he has brought you to one of his most secret locations, one that no one knows except taehyun, probably, considering theyâre close friends, but in reality, itâs the playground you pass by every single day on your way from your apartment to university.Â
âoh, are you okay? are you nervous for tomorrowâs match?â you continue, deciding you shouldnât ruin his favourite place for him. honestly, no one wouldâve guessed that lee heeseung would come to a childrenâs park on bad days.Â
âactually, this walk was for you, you looked like youâd pass out if you spent another hour in front of books,â and youâre done, standing speechless with your eyes wide open at his words that he says with a victorious smile on his face. âyou should start taking breaks, yn. itâs not a bad thing to go home earlier when youâre tired,âÂ
heâs right, oh, you know heâs absolutely right about everything he just said, from passing out to going home. a part of him probably even feels glad to have you out on his little walk with him, youâre getting your well deserved rest, thanks to him. heeseung might even ask if he can walk you home considering youâre âdone for today,â which is very thoughtful of himâ but what does this make you? a liar? miyeon was right, youâre gambling, even though itâs not that serious. so far, youâve lied about being done with your studies and the bet you made with heeseung because at this point, itâs more like a prank, except itâs not funny and that it might end up with him getting upset with you because tomorrow is basketball tournamentâs finals and youâre here wasting his time, all because you lied.Â
a liar and a lover, on a date at childrenâs parkâ match made in theatre club, youâd say.Â
âare you sure this is not your way to manipulate into not studying and losing to you, just so you can date me?â you try to play it cool, knowing very well that it can be one of his tricks or whatsoever. after all, itâs the same heeseung who made you trip in front of your class just three days after being transferred.Â
âi was being genuine but it doesnât sound like a bad idea,â of course, it doesnât. he gets to win, after all. âcan i walk you home?â just as you had guessed.Â
âi would love to go home but my bag is still in the library,â you had considered taking it with you, actually, but dismissed the thought once you realised you had to come back to the library and continue with your studies. albeit, youâre not studying, thatâs on you for lying into oblivion and giving into his requests. Â
once again, you two are back to walking, this time back to the university campus. itâs nice, having a walk with heeseung, itâs sweet, slow, comforting, like slow music flowing around and engulfing you in its arms. the unsaid words are weighing on your shoulders, you can feel the pressure, but itâs not awkward. above the busy hustle of the city and blaring horns, itâs a quiet world with heeseung, itâs nice, like a warm hug after a long day. you didnât think you had it in yourself to spend a minute next to him without overthinking and possibly starting a banter. you didnât think heeseung had it in him either, to make a walk feel so close to home. Â
âso, how are you coping knowing youâre going to lose once again?â and, itâs back again. everything is a hoax actuallyâ his looks? a trap. his smile? a trap. itâs all a facade because once he opens his mouth, nothing but horseshit comes out of it.Â
âvery well, in fact, because i know iâm the one getting that first spot this time,â call it overconfidence but you really do think youâll get your title back this time. youâve been studying well and hard enough, solving questions and going through every extra set of notes and exercises your professor sent. although, you would claim to beat heeseung had you been prepared or not because itâs fun messing with him.Â
âiâd rather have you show some mercy, in that case,â before you know it, youâre already standing in front of the library. âacademic defeat and a heartbreak, it already sounds painful. i hope you go easy on me,â itâs sarcastic, of course, all these saccharine words of confessions made you forget how he is under the layers of smiles and winks that adorn his face. a session full of silence follows, the comforting tranquillity morphing into something tensed as he steps closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as your mind dysfunctionsâ itâs the effect he has.Â
âheeseung,â you put a finger on his lipsâ the only thing between him and you, the only thing helping you stay sane and composed at the moment, because only you know the struggle of pulling yourself together while standing inches away from heeseung as he grabs your wrist and plants a soft kiss on your finger before removing it from his lips.Â
âwhy, thatâs unfair. you get to see me anytime you want while i have to wait because youâre busy studying, you even get to see me shirtless, and i canât even get a kiss?â and you hate the look in his eyes, you hate how close he is standing and how it makes your heart go crazy. this isnât even the beginning and you hate how you feel like youâve already lost, and you hate how confident he is with every breath he breathes against your lips. âjust kidding, see you tomorrow,âÂ
and you hate how this is where you realise that youâve fallen deep, and youâve fallen hard.Â
IV. PLANET TO A SUN
heeseung has been thinking about the walk for an hour and twenty-seven minutesâ actually more, ever since the moment he got home last night, but that is how long he has been practising for, eyes on the ball but mind revolving around you like a planet to a sun. you had texted him about a rule this morningâ no kissing before finals. actually no kissing before we start dating, leeâ your exact words. they have been holding him back from thinking straight, even made him practise an apology while looking in the mirror if in case his actions offended you in any way. lost in thought, heeseung manages to get another shot in. thatâs twenty-third in a row ever since he stepped on the court, which is unbelievable, even for him.Â
âis it just me or did heeseungâs performance improve overnight?â jake looks up at jay, fastening his shoelace, a chuckle escaping his lips that goes unnoticed.Â
the latter offers a hand to jake, helping him stand as they share a laugh before jay passes him the ball. âwell, of course it will. he has to impress his girlfriend today at finals,â
âsheâs not my girlfriend,â heeseung grunts almost as if hearing you and the word girlfriend in the same sentences cuts ten years from his lifespan. he knows it doesnât, heâd kill to call you hisâ. the reason behind his edgy behaviour is your text and the weird rule youâve inserted in an already weird betâ itâs not like he minds it, the bet, obviously. heeseung definitely minds not getting to kiss you for the next few weeks.Â
âyet,â jay clarifies, emphasising enough for the world to understand that his words are supposed to be in italics. âshe will be if you score more than her in finals, which i donât think is possible because unlike you, she has been studying all day everyday. i donât know how sheâs still alive,â and jay isnât half bad student himself. juniors in business have his name residing on the tips of their tongues. he simply thinks youâre a freak for being in no clubs and not participating in anything that doesnât involve studying.Â
âsheâs the top student for a reason,â jake adds.Â
âi am the top student,â and hearing his friends call you the top students hurts heeseungâs ego a little bit. crushes aside, youâre his rival before his girlfriend, and youâre not even his girlfriend. youâre basically just a rival. âalso, itâs not hard to study all day if youâre used to it,âÂ
and jay scoffs in disbelief. âright, you would know something about it, lee i canât go a day without playing basketball heeseung,âÂ
âhey, everyone,â your voice reverberating in the court is what stops heeseung from responding to jay with a snarky remark. âjust wanted to wish you all goodluck. i really hope you guys win the tournament or else, itâs going to be hard for heeseung to deal with two loses after i beat him in finals as well,âÂ
heeseung rolls his eyes in disbelief, you hear taehyun exclaim that he has been team yn since the very first day, a claim that few others proceed to back up, especially sunghoon, with his own lore of how he prays everyday for you to win the bet with heeseung. youâre honoured to receive such support, to some extent. a part of you still wishes for the whole thing to be a secret restricted to just heeseung and you but again, it was your fault for placing bets in court, in front of the entirety of the basketball team to witness, even their coach.Â
âyouâre a little too confident, donât you think so?â he smirks, taking a few steps towards you with the ball supported between his arms and torso. âlet me know where youâd like to go for our first date,â and it turns out heeseung is just as confident about winning the bet as you, perhaps even more. you are not surprised, being defending champions does that to people, or so you believe.
âmhm, letâs have you score a date first, lee,â you would have loved to talk more but decide to bid your goodbyes as soon as hanbinâs message pops up on your phone, the little scowl on heeseungâs face going unnoticed the moment he sees his name on your phone screen. heeseung would never in his wildest dream confess to being jealousâ it doesnât even make sense for him to be jealous of hanbin because he confessed to you, and you seem to like him back. his worries are pointless just like the useless art projects his art teacher used to assign in middle school.Â
your fingers dance on the keyboard of your phone as you reply to hanbin, the subtle taps synchronous with your steps with you rushing across the quadrangle, taking the nearest flight of stairs to the library. you wanted to spend the day at your apartment since classes are suspended for the rest of the day on account of the match. however, hanbin managed to convince you into coming to the library to help him with a few assignments here and there. youâre not opposed to studying on days-off, in fact you think itâs better since you get all twenty-four hours to yourself instead of investing any of it in classes. the match gave you an excuse to call in for a break, or an excuse to take your time choosing the outfits as if youâre the main character on such a big day.Â
the librarian gestures to you to slow down the moment you almost avoid slipping on the tiled floor, in the process of holding the door frame to stop yourself, an embarrassed apology makes its way from you to her as you spot hanbin in the further corner with his airpods plugged in. your first instinct is to scare him from behind but the thought leaves your mind as soon as you remember that youâre in a library, and getting kicked out on a day that has been treating you well so far doesnât sound so smart.Â
so, you settle with approaching normal, instead of pulling random stunts, pulling out the chair opposite to him quietly to not make any sounds, mumbling a soft âhiâ as he takes out one of his airpods. âwhereâs miyeon?âÂ
âsick, sheâs skipping todayâs match as well,â hanbin replies, eyes fixed on the notes he's copying from the laptop to loose sheets of paper, before looking up at you with another question on the tip of his tongue. âare you two still not talking?âÂ
âwe did, none of us brought up what happened that day, though,â you shrug as if it doesn't bother you anymore, as if you don't want it to bother you more than it already does.
miyeon and you have known each other since university, she was a senior in undergrad course who was forced by financial circumstances to skip one academic year, thus rejoining in third year along with you and hanbin. seeing her was less frequent while she was still a senior, although you're not sure if you've spent more than three days away from her ever since postgrad school started. a heavy tension masks all your conversations with her, over texts or in person, and even though you're trying to act like the small talks with her don't hurt you, a part of you is starting to miss the best friend you used to talk to all night, about wasted matters and sharing useless gossip.
silence fills in for the lack of words between you and hanbin and you allow it to do so, deciding not to disturb the decorum of the library anymore. you scroll through your phone mindlessly, thereâs nothing to look at except people going crazy about the evening's match. you even manage to stumble upon a thread of arguments featuring students of your university and the one the team is going against. itâs all empty threats, seriously, âkysâ and âur momâs in my bedâ arenât even insults at this point. theyâre funny, sometimes, but youâll never understand why or how they ended up being insults. ( honestly, you donât see the potential )Â
âare you serious about heeseung?â a crack in the ice, hanbin's question catches you off guard, with a number of questions running back and forth in your mind before you settle with the one to respond with in return.
you blink in confusion. âi guess so, why?âÂ
ânothing, itâs just i never expected it to be him, yâknow, considering your history,â you think it's unavoidable, questions along these lines, they would've been asked sooner or later. truthfully, even you didn't expect yourself to fall for heeseung.
your history, what even is there to call history except blood and war? both you and heeseung have been up each other's neck from the moment your gazes collided. it sounds like a stupid beef between highschool students, almost embarrassing now that you both are nearing post graduation. with all the days that youâve spent thinking about ways to get on his nerves, or worseâ ruin his projects, it wasnât just you who resorted to ruining each otherâs hard workâ no one would have known you and heeseung would ever end up on this note, with him chasing you and you pinning for him, all under the blankets of a silly bet.
âwell, as i always say, hanbin, life is unpredictable,â thereâs a smile dancing on your lips, a dazzling hint of factuality in your eyes. âbesides, heâs a nice guy behind all the annoying things he does. i think he's pretty serious about me, or us, too,â
hanbin has noticed the way you smile at your phone. it doesnât always happen, only when youâre talking with miyeon or a few friends from highschool, now heeseung ranks up on that list as well. heâd be lying if the uneasiness doesnât bother him, itâs bound to surface when he remembers all the nights you spent complaining about heeseung. actually, the rant session included hanbin, you and miyeon, but she would rather go to sleep than listen to you complain like a child for hours on roll, leaving you and hanbin driving the conversation. he has lost count of the amount of times youâve ended up crying in the process, or the amount of times he has hung up on you only to show up at your place late at night to make sure youâre doing okay, and the nights you two have spent watching movies and falling asleep on the couch, followed by the mornings gone by with miyeon being salty over the fact that none of you invited her to your impromptu nightover.Â
the thought of heeseung confessing to you still surprises hanbin, itâs one of the things he deemed as impossible since forever. and he can go, warn heeseung about hurting you, dropping all sorts of threats at the boy. hanbin can go on for hours about how he would make heeseungâs life a living hell if he ever broke your heart. he can prove the righteous friend that he is, but at the end of day, he would always be the third person between you and heeseung. hanbin can only assume so much about you two, not even sure if all of it is right. he can only wish so much for you to have eyes for someone else.Â
and so, all he does is shoot a smile at you. âi hope he is,âÂ
.Â
.Â
.
the only time you step out of the library is exactly three hours and thirty three minutes later, to sprint towards the basketball knowing that you absolutely cannot afford losing seats in the first two rows. fortunately, or unfortunately enough, youâre not the only student going crazy about the game. you can swear at least a dozen came out of the library right after you, even though all of them may not attend the game.
youâre already running lateâ well, still twenty minutes early but that doesnât give you much time to meet the team and secure the front row seats. and meeting the team is an excuse, letâs be honest. you want to meet heeseung, have a quick private talk, kiss him good luck, you donât know; you wouldnât. your head is in a mess, behind you hanbin is yelling for you to slow down as you run down the stairs. half of you is worrying about seats and the other half is wording her sentences out for you to say when you meet heeseung, and the team. you can wish them all the luck in the world, after all, itâs the university team and you would love to see them win. the whole craze about sports doesnât feel real and worth the hype but things start coming full circle when youâre the one watching. slowly, as one would expect, but you are starting to understand why everyone goes bonkers during tournament season.Â
âdamn, slow down,â hanbin huffs, grabbing your arm for you to slow down. âitâs not like they wouldnât start without you,âÂ
âthatâs the problem. what if they start without me?â but your legs wouldnât rest before arriving at the court. you know your words sound funny, painting you as if the result of todayâs match depends on you. it feels crazy to be this excited about a mere basketball match, nonetheless you know itâs not the match youâre actually looking forward to. âbesides, iâm more worried about seats,âÂ
âi asked hao to save two for us. heâs friends with heeseung, i think he will do that much for his friendâs girlfriend or whatsoever,â you see him roll his eyes at his own words, proceeding to slide his hands into yours before continuing on your way to the venue, this time a little slower.Â
you have heard about hao from hanbin and miyeon a few times. heâs pursuing a masters in music, wants to teach violin professionally according to hanbin. miyeon has even attended one of his recitals last autumn, something from sibelius, if you remember correctly. he is popular, and you see the depths of his popularity as soon as you spot him on the bleachers, surrounded by people left and right, one of them trying to grab a seat next to him before he points at you and hanbin, and the crowd goes mild, ultimately dissolves as the players step in.Â
âi didnât know heeseung had a girlfriend,â you donât know what you were expecting, perhaps a few words of greetings, hiâs and helloâs since you two are meeting for the first time. anything, except that question.Â
âbelieve me, i didnât either,â and why even is heeseung going around telling everyone that youâre his girlfriend?       Â
the court breaks into cheers as soon as the game commences and yet, it feels a little quite. perhaps, itâs miyeonâs absence getting to you. had it been her next to you instead of hanbin and haoâ who are busy amongst themselves by the way, talking about anything but the matchâ she wouldâve been eating snacks non-stop, giving you a little talk on every player, like a resume. itâs take her fifteen minutes to give you summaries on players from each team, their achievements, girlfriends and probably even mothers, who knows. although, you havenât attend many games with miyeon to pinpoint every good and bad thing about her impromptu presentation, her unofficial commentary helped you sit throughout the match. it feels incomplete without her, not just the game but days in general. itâs definitely her absence making your surroundings feel quieter.Â
so, long story short, you donât have a clue of whatâs happening. well, you do, a little. you know what a dunk and a three pointer is besides the names of players on your university team, but that basically sums up your knowledge about basketball. all sorts of voices are mingling in the air but youâre busy following the ball around the court with your gaze, occasionally cursing and clapping when the team misses a close basket or scores a comparatively difficult basket. the tension between the two teams keeps rising as the game continues. you notice sunghoon groan in disappointment as one of the players from the opposite team gets in a banked shot from the wings, scoring two points for the team. a part of the crowd goes quieter at jayâs failed attempt to save the score for his team, beomgyu patting on jayâs back while muttering something along the lines of âgood job.â involuntarily, your eyes travel to heeseung, whose expression stiffens at the sight of the scoreboard displaying a two-point lag.
a time out call follows as the players move back to their respective ends, and it physically hurts you to see the difference in atmosphere between the two teams, or the frowns on the faces of players on your university team. for a second, you even consider walking down to them as they gather around the coach, grabbing water bottles and towels while nodding at the coachâs words between heavy breaths. you catch jake looking in your direction for a brief second, a smile makes its way to your lips before he responds with one as well, proceeding to nudge heeseungâs arm and pointing in your direction. his actions are left with no responseâ it hurts a little, although you are aware that anything else falls after winning the match on his priority listâ and they get back on the court as the game resumes.Â
âthey need to catch up soon,â hanbin mutters, taking a look at the clock. and even if itâs just a two point difference, youâre starting to understand why it creates a huge gap. itâs almost like scores on a test. going from eighty-three to ninety then hundred is easier than going from ninety-eight to hundred. greater differences are easier to overcome; for you have so many rooms for improvisation and thus, so many chances at closing the gap. the closer you are to a perfect score, the narrower are the chances and itâs almost impossible to pin-point and work on every single weakness of yours within those two points. youâre pretty sure your words would hardly make sense to anyone else, but nonetheless you understand why everyone on the court looks more attentive, probably like meerkats on the lookout for preys and predators.Â
much to your disappointment, the play continues with the rivals dominating the court, giving low to zero chances for the opposition to get their hands on the balls. you even see a few of them trying to provoke heeseung, the latter trying his best to not react but youâre afraid he would start throwing punches if another one of the players passed by him with his middle finger up heeseungâs face. one of them, who you assume is the captain judging from the way he has been directing his team, goes in for a hook, immediately getting blocked by taehyun as the court bursts into loud cheers once again.Â
âthat was a little too far for a hook,â hao comments, and you nod as if you understand his words and know exactly how a hook is supposed to be. you didnât even know about a hook until now, and youâre still not sure what it is since all the shots look almost the same to you.Â
from that second onwards, it felt as if the control transferred to heeseungâs teams as they transition quickly from defence to offence, making quick passes and running the court, practically catching the opposite team off guard. jay passes the ball to jake, who takes a leap from half court, driving towards the unguarded basket. a quick layup using the backboard, as you hear hanbin name the shot, and basically everyone runs to jake for scoring two points for the team as the scoreboards displays a sour tie. itâs a seemingly easy match after that, especially when the players look like theyâre back into the game. sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung who goes for another layup and fails, much to his despair, before going in for a dunk and scoring yet another basket for the team, leading it by two points. you see him passing a cocky smirk at the player from before as jake pats him in the back with heeseung almost stumbling in the process.Â
heeseung shoots you a wink before focusing on sunghoonâs words as they get back into position, and even amidst the butterflies you got by his recent actions, you donât miss the way he stretches his fingers, ring-finger specifically, pointing something about the movements to jay before getting his focus back to the game; and you just hope it isnât what youâre thinking it is.Â
itâs a slow game after that, no points scored, four fouls with two of them back to back, one by each team respectively. the frustration increases on the court, evident in each step taken by the players, groans and sighs fill the atmosphere and get louder than the cheers that have gone quieter once again. it isnât until a few minutes later that all the players run to the front court as soon as they see an opportunity for a fast break with taehyun taking the lead, passing the ball to jay just a few seconds after, who passes it to heeseungâ and call it the lack of efficiency or bad timing, heeseung bumps into one of the players from opposite team, an uneven balance, and falls directly on his right knee, as one of the opposite players throws the ball off-bounds to stop the play.Â
the medics take him to the benches, bringing ice packs and everything else before escorting him inside. you considered following him inside before hanbin tells you that the officials arenât letting anyone meet him, probably until they receive updates of his situations. you bite the inside of your cheeks in nervousness, palms sweating as if youâre about to appear for an exam you werenât informed about until five minutes ago, or maybe itâs even worse. the murmurs from the crowd or the group of girls behind you, to be more specific, do nothing but make you feel more anxious. zhang hao, being a sports medicine student, tries to give you an insight on heeseungâs injury, telling you that even if he fell directly on his knee and it could result in a patella fracture, or perhaps just dislocationâ words that compel you to yell at him to shut up before he ensures that heeseung will be fine. hanbin does that for you, noticing your slightly panicked state, telling hao to talk about anything but anatomy of how badly a simple injury can affect a player, and when sunghoon and taehyun return to the officials with an update on heeseung and a pale face, you knew you had to run to your heeseung as if itâs the end of the world.Â
âheeseung,â you breathe out, stepping aside to let the nurse from the infirmary leave before you walk closer to him. the awkwardness between you and other players, namely jay, jake and beomgyu, besides the coach, rings all the bells to remind you that coming here was probably a bad idea. well, of course, you like heeseung and are worried for him, but the tension in the air makes you feel like you showed up uninvited. âare you okay?âÂ
you ask nonetheless, voice close to a whisper, as you stand at a distance, looking at the bruise on his knee. the smell of antiseptic spray fills your lungs, nose scrunching at the way you could almost taste the diclofenac at the back of your mouth.Â
ânot really,â he inhales sharply, exhaling a reply once everyone left, knowing they had a game to get back to. âlook at you, are you worried for me?â
âiâm regretting coming here now,â liar. and then you let the silence carry the conversation with itself for the next few minutes. you donât know what to sayâ what can you say? all you do is sit next to him, hands brushing against his as his winces at the slightest touch. heeseung opened his mouth to say something before dismissing his words with a heavy sigh the very next moment. you almost hold his handâ almost, thinking of holding it ever so carefully as if itâs glass with thousands of cracks, and then youâd kiss it ever so delicately, you did itâ almost, but then, itâs just you getting upset over the fact that he played even after hurting his hand.
âso, theyâre benching you,â you say in an attempt to strike a conversation, a little conflicted with your choice of words, wondering if he even wants to hear about something related to the match at the moment.Â
âof course,â he says it like a matter of fact, a fact whose impact doesnât seem to touch him. âplease tell me they have jeno substituting for me. iâve barely been getting updates in the group chat,â the least he expected was for one of the substitute players to keep him updated about the game through texts, and heeseung planned to get back to the court until you showed up, taking a seat next to him on the benches in the locker room. you donât understand why they didnât take him to the infirmary, and decided to think itâs because locker rooms are closer and if thereâs anything heeseung should not be doing right now, itâs moving his injured leg.Â
you shrug. âi donât know, iâll ask hanbin,â
âthanks,â and even though heeseung isnât really fond of your friend for reasons that are widely known, at least amidst his friend group, he really hopes hanbin is of some use.Â
itâs quiet now. you can hear faint cheers buried in the layers of walls and rooms that stand between the court and the locker room, a few muffled footsteps filling up any spaces left in the air, here and there. you assume itâs his fans trying to check up on him, as annoying as it sounds to you for youâd rather have this moment with him all to yourself. you hear him sigh heavily once every few minutes, trying to ball his injured fingers up in a fist to allow the slightest of moments and ensure healthy circulation, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the sensation of striking pain shooting up his nerves. unlike heeseung, your attention shifts to his injured knee with a faint chill running down your spine as you look at his bruise, which now looks more bluish than it was when you had arrived, signifying the possibly alarming amount of blood that has now clotted in the tissues.Â
âyou can cry,â nudge him with your shoulders and heeseung directs you to the most disgusted face in return. âwhat? itâs the finals and youâre injured so you wonât be able to play today. any normal person would sob their eyes out,âÂ
âiâm not a kid, yn,â he nudges back, a chuckle slipping off his lips.Â
âtrying to act all cool but youâre probably going to cry yourself to sleep for days, or even weeks,â he holds out his hand for you to hold it as you stand up, an action you give into without opposition, intertwining your fingers with his. thereâs a smug smile on your face and he sees it as well, although only you know the way your heart is somersaulting at the way your hands fit hisâ like pieces of a puzzle. âi know what you are, heeseung,â
he scoffs at your words, hands still entwined, a lovesick glow in his eyesâ itâs your first time seeing this side of him, youâre glad to be one of the people to see it. silence has never felt so comfortable to you. the distant noise from court feels like it rushed on its way to you and heeseung, and stopped at the doors, as if you two are beyond its reach. you might never say it to him, but everything seemingly ceases to exist when youâre with him, and the world feels timeless. itâs embarrassing, cringe, and itâs making your heart beat faster with the way he looks at you. âyou need to shut up,â
âmake me?â a quick response, one that was supposed to be a joke, a joke which was supposed to be accompanied by laughter and brushed off as another baseless comment, but another second passes as you continue to look into his eyes, and you realise youâre actually considering itâ leaning in towards him while giving his hand a light tug to pull him towards you the slightest, your other hand cupping his face as your gaze ghosts up his eyes and settles on his lips. when it comes to him, rationality is out of the window and your lips are on hisâ planting the softest kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away like nothing ever happened. Â
a pause; you could hear the silence ringing in your years, eyes fixed over him as if youâre spilling all your secrets to him, waiting for him to take a hint. âwhat even happened to the âno kissing before finalsâ rule?ââ
and you realise you had actually forgotten about it, for better and never for the worse, because as you said and as he repeated, itâs all about timing. empty locker rooms, quiet hallways with not a soul around, your hand in his, his eyes on youâ the timing couldnât be better, and you know better than messing up and letting heeseung become just a closed chapter of your life. âyeah, i could care less about that,â
there are a lot of things you could care less about, like the cold metal that stings against your back as he pushes you against the lockers, or the fact that anyone could walk in, any minute; you donât care, donât know. his lips are on yours and his hands are on your waist, it feels euphoric the way his lips move in synchrony with yours, fitting like puzzle pieces. heeseung tugs you closer by your waist, a faint gasp escaping your mouth that dissolves immediately into your breaths mingling together. itâs intoxicating and is making you go insane, the way he manages to sweep you off your feet with the smallest of actions and simplest of wordsâ from the very first day.Â
heeseung was right, and you as well, itâs all about timing. from the day you first looked at him in a seminar, to the day he switched to biotechâ you plan on asking him why because so far, all your guesses seem implausibleâ down to the day he confessed, leading up to this moment with you pressing against the lockers and his lips against against yours. heeseung sighs softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head to deepen the kiss, and you could feel the heat of his breath against your lips when you pull away just when it was about to get better, avoiding his lips when he leans in to chase yours barely a millisecond later. your eyes shift down to his hand, one that has been injured during the game, and you proceed to hold it carefully, brushing your lips over the bruise lightly before adorning it with feathery kisses as his other hand travels down to your waist once again, pulling you closer. âyou should go easy on yourself,â
you whisper the exact same words he had told you a day ago, traversing your eyes back towards him while your gazes have a conversation so foreign, as if itâs only for the silence to understand. and itâs quite literally just the two of you basking in silence as he rests his head against the crook of your neck, planting a few kisses here and there before pulling you even closer, as if you were going to disappear any second. âi think, iâm in love with you,âÂ
and timing be damnedâ because heeseung confesses to you once again, and then heâs kissing you once again, slowly, sweetly, in love, and timing doesnât even matter because every second feels right with him. with the same air of delighted indifference he comes to know well in the gleam of your touch and the curl of your lips, you simply kiss him back as if to say, hate to admit, but iâm in love with you too. and timing really be damned because you hear loud rounds of cheers as you feel his shoulders stiffen. a slight disconnection between you and heeseung makes you wonder if heâs thinking about the results of the game, which is inevitable, but this is about you and him, and nothing else. you hear the notifications from his phone go off, hinting that the match is probably over, and you pull him into another kiss, another round of selfishness guised as an outlet for him to forget about the game, another round of messy make outs, tasting the freedom of ignorance.Â
and then you donât hear from heeseung again. Â
V. OBJECT OF ALL DESIRES
days without heeseung feel like theyâre forty-eight hours long.
you think itâs a disease or some sort of withdrawal syndrome. this isnât your first time without him, in fact, you used to do just fine without him in your life until you let him in. at this point, it isnât even about not being able to see himâ heeseung has been absent for almost seven days. you even asked jay about him to see if he has been in contact with any of his teammates but much to your disappointment, he disappeared off the face of earth like he never existed. taehyun has constantly been reminding you to not fret too much, knowing that heeseung gets a little dramatic after losing matches. you can take his word, obviously, a friend from highschool would know heeseung better than a girl who started talking to him normally barely weeks ago, although you couldnât help but worry about him as seconds passed like water dripping down the tap, disturbing the silence.Â
you know how losses feelâ like a part of you has been taken out and youâre left to bleed. itâs worse when itâs about something youâve loved all your life. youâve walked next to losses, hand in hand. when you know youâve lost something while having it in the palms of your hands the whole time, the feeling eats you inside. you wonder if heeseung is feeling the same way you think he is, even if he didnât show it a week ago when you had met him in the clubroom, the feeling starts to sink in when youâre alone amidst the ghosts of nobodies. even though he was smiling and acting like the little shit he is, you felt anger and regret in the way he kissed you. there was a sense of numbness dripping down his fingertips in the way they brushed against your cheeks, cupping your face. you couldâve been a sweet escapeâ it hurts to admit that the emotions werenât possibly real, but you couldnât blame him.Â
losing a match, to put it in your words, meant failing in a test; and losing because of an injury, itâs like skipping a test you prepared for, because of fever. except tests can be rescheduled for students who missedâ a luxury heeseung, as a basketball player, cannot enjoy. even you couldnât believe your eyes when the students on the forum started talking about the lost match, all sorts of comments going around, though none targeted at heeseung, fortunately. yet, your first instinct was to dial his numberâ out of reach, the first thing you hear on the other side of the line, and all youâve been hearing for days now.Â
you had considered cutting ties with him, not literally, but as in stopping to chase him as if heâs the oxygen you inspire. you couldâve showed up at miyeonâs place with apologies, her favourite snacks and a brief explanation of why you did what you did, and everything that has happened as the consequences of your own actions. with weekends approaching, you couldâve planned a two-day trip with her and hanbin before the winter snow made it hard to commuteâ just anything to get your mind off heeseung, since apparently, you werenât on his mind either. albeit, you end up doing nothing, no trips, no plans to see miyeon, itâs just you and your bruised heart with soju on the side. your mind is way too cluttered with thoughts about heeseung to focus on studying and at the same time, itâs way too empty to try doing anything else. Â
so, you simply venture down the hallways, drowning in all kinds of thoughts, good and bad. you can use the time to study but concentration has been far out of your reach ever since the match, or ever since he went underground, to be more specific. the impromptu make out session was probably his last strawâ it makes sense. you kissed someone who had been walked out of a match because of an injury instead of consoling them. you let your feelings get the best of you, making everything about yourself yet again. you wonât be surprised if heeseung decides to ghost you for the rest of his life after that; or maybe, thatâs not possible since you see a familiar figure sitting in the outdoor basketball court, spinning the ball with itâs axis on the ground in a directionless manner.Â
âheeseung?â you notice his back tense at the sound of you calling his name, head down low as if heâs responding with an exasperated sigh. âwhere the hell have you been? iâve been trying to reach youâ heck, even your friends havenât heard a word from you in days,â
ânot now, yn, leave me alone,â and an exasperated sigh is what it was.Â
âlook, i knowââ
âjust, what part of leaving me alone do you not understand?â you try to speak but heeseung cuts you off just as efficiently as he does other things, with annoyance heavily evident in his words. had it not been heeseung, you wouldâve left already, for you have more important things to tend to, and youâre certainly not interested in matters youâre not supposed to be included in, if only it wasnât heeseung, and if only you werenât crazily worried for him.Â
âoh, i understand it clearly, every part, actually, and i also understand that youâre upset and leaving you alone would certainly not be the best move considering the way you went MIA for a week,â and you understand his impulses about disappearing into thin air, wishing the ground eats him up or for the walls to cave in till heâs entombed in them, but a person as smart as him should know taking out helps better than thinking about wanting to vanish. âwe can sit and have a talk if you stop being such an asshole about it. iâm down to listen toââ
âfine, what do you want to hear about?â he cuts you off in annoyances, the ball rolls down to a distance like your heart when you see the unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. âyou were right. i went home and have been crying myself to sleep. i havenât been eating well either. i skipped five out of nine mocks and barely passed the four i gave, letâs add that too. is that enough?âÂ
you donât like the way he puts it, as if itâs supposed to make you feel better. maybe about the bet, maybe, since heâs supposed to rank above you in finals to get around dating you, and maybe watching him lose is supposed to offer you some sort of reliefâ seriously, what youâre feeling right now is far from that. guilt, anger, shame, youâre not unfamiliar with those emotions. they eat you inside and itâs not because youâve met with defeat, itâs because of falling off all the expectations people had, giving them another reason to point fingers and laugh. you could be really over-reacting, but if you didnât have your parents telling you itâs going to be fine every time you didnât do well on tests, you donât know where you wouldâve been right now. and you think you can play a part of the same for heeseung, if not all.Â
you sit next to him, nose scrunching at the sight of dust on the cement laid with cracks. thatâs what you get with an outdoor court no longer in use. you can see little plantlets germinating from the soil, emerging through the cracks, the rusted ring catches your eye. heeseung huffs as you settle next to him, wondering exactly how long the court has been unused for, considering its lack of maintenance. âletâs date,âÂ
and your words are not what you were planning to say or what should be said in this situation, but they still manage to extract a response from him. âdonât play with me,âÂ
âiâm not, in fact, that is what iâve been wanting to say to you for days. of course, this isnât the best timing, but i donât know what else to say,â you pause in what feels like embarrassment. too bad, his crush is not good at conversations. sometimes you end up nodding and blinking for five minutes straight before saying anything, after a person opens up to you with tears and blood. âand, iâm not going to tell you to stop acting like a child or whatever because the team lost such an important match and somewhere, youâre blaming yourself for it, which you shouldnât, by the way. all i need to say is that you still have the next year to make up for what youâve lost now,âÂ
second chances come with higher expectations from people along with words that end up making one feel worse about their situation. youâve already heard a few students talk about how heeseung shouldâve been more âcarefulââ as if it was his choice to get injured and lose the match. you know it wasnât going to be easy, especially with his injury that probably requires him out of the court for weeks, but you hope that amidst whatever heâs feeling, between self-loath and regret, heeseung manages to find himself once again.Â
âactually, iâm planning to drop out of the team next year and focus on studies. my parents were already against me playing basketball during postgrad, iâm finally starting to notice why,â basketball couldâve been his entire career if heeseungâs grandmother had not wished for him to go into the medical field. seeing the insides of a person makes him want to empty his bowel from the mouth so biotechnology was his next option. heeseung thought having two hands would give him the benefit of managing basketball and academics together, unlike how his parents had wished for, but his recent mock scores and lack of time devoted to studies is making him question his choices. âand what the hell were you on about dating, by the way?âÂ
youâre half immersed in your own thoughts until heeseung directs the question at youâ brows furrowed, confusion shadowing his faceâ you realise itâs your turn to do the talking. âoh, you know, dating. i think we should start dating already, itâs quite inevitable after that day in the clubroom,âÂ
it is evitable, really, but youâre down badâ with all due respect.Â
you havenât been okay ever since you realised that you like heeseung, and youâve been trying to act normal about it, attempting to not lose your cool-hard-to-get-girl composureâ miyeonâs words, and they make you cringeâ while the thought of him is eating your brain slowly and gradually, making you go insane. if you were to narrate from where you opened and closed the door at, it would be a slippery slope, you donât know how someone ends up falling for the person they despise. the yn from a month or two ago would be knowing, you can see her shrugging and getting back to her books, saying see saw it coming. ( itâs miyeonâs fault for making you even think about having a mind blowing chemistry with heeseung ) the you from two semesters ago, when he first transferred, would hate you and call you a traitor, might even write whore on a mirror while looking at it because you fold at the sight of hot, smart and sporty men who are perfect at everything, even at ruining someoneâs life, like heâs ruining yours; and the yn from highschool, you see her squealing on the floor because oh, what a fan of enemies to lovers she wasâ heeseung wouldnât even have been in the current picture if your highschool crush slash rival liked you back. the current you, well, sheâs a goner, and in denial that sheâs a goner. too much pride does something to a person, especially when youâre an over-scorer and an academic weapon. youâve lost all your abilities of letting your guard down even once, refusing to give up and accept defeat, no matter how tortuous it is on the inside.Â
the current you is more like a victorian man looking at ankles for the very first time.Â
âand the bet? what happened to it?â he chuckles, of course, anyone would, considering the way youâve lost after placing the bet with utmost confidence slash overconfidence. see, it never ends well, anything, with overconfidence, it doesnât end well, never have and never will. and you, you donât learn, sitting with the very well known fact that if you were given the chance, you would place the bet with him again. Â
âah, i didnât mean to do that, honestly. i was confused when you confessed, it was so sudden, i didnât know how to respond. the bet was the best i could come up with,â miyeon was right, you couldâve used something along the lines of âi need some time,â that day instead of pulling out a bet right out of your ass, and now you donât know how to save face. at least the fact that heeseung confessed first makes you feel a little better about yourself. âcâmon, i know you love challenges. i was just trying to see if it gets you turned on or something,âÂ
and heeseung scoffs in disbelief, eyeing you at your choice of words. âyeah, i feel very turned on knowing my crush dragged me into a bet that iâve been working so hard for and she wasnât even serious about it,âÂ
âworking hard? from what i saw, the only thing you worked hard for was basketball,â you raise your brows, a taunting intonation in your voice. a part of you regrets the choice of words, knowing that basketball is seemingly quite a sensitive topic to bring up at the moment. albeit, the slight fear evaporates off when he laughs and dismisses your words and nothings.Â
he leans a little closer, hands touching yours. âyou never know what iâm up to at home,âÂ
a pause; you look in his eyes and then at his lips, he mirrors your actions with a smirk on his face. you guess that thereâs a second meaning to his words, not sure what, but the look in his eyes tells you something about it. âi think we should get back to when you were talking mental and i was talking you down,âÂ
and you could grab his face and kiss him with no one around, on the unmaintained basketball court for the grey and cloudy skies to see. you could run your hands through his hairs and tell him how crazy he makes you while planting kisses down his neck. you can kiss him till both of your lungs are begging for oxygen, and that's when you'd tell him how he makes you feelâ breathless and drowning, a little insane every time you see him flirting with someone that's not you. you can kiss him till the sun goes down and evening takes over, it doesn't matter if you're outside for the world to see. you would've kissed him if heeseung hadn't leaned back, looking at the ball lying stray at a distance.
âby the way, iâd love to date you,â he smiles at the infinite horizon before looking at you, as if waiting for a response already known.
âyeah, i figured that,â you try to play it cool as if youâre all knowing. itâs partially true, he did confess to you first. âletâs make another bet: no kissing before finals, and the one who ends up giving in first has to buy dinner,â you come up with yet another bet, your voice hinting the enthusiasm for no apparent reason. Â
heeseung squints at you, a little conflicted, quite unsure of your words. it sounds like a moment of deja vu, hopefully on a better note this time âround. âthatâs not even valid, we made out not even a week ago,âÂ
âlet bygones be bygones, hee,â he likes the sound of the little nickname you've given him, unlike bygones, the word you use to refer to your very first kiss with him as if it's an unfortunate memory. âitâs decided then, no kissing before finals and the loser has to buy dinner, and i wonât be satisfied with anything less than a five star meal,âÂ
you squint, index finger pointing at him, a challenging composure. another chuckle from him makes itâs way to you, lips curling into a faint smile. it takes you all the way back to the day you placed your first bet with him, with head empty and no logic, for the entirety of the basketball team to see, hear, and talk about it as if itâs supposed to be on the headlines of the national newspaper. your eyes spark up in anticipation, wondering if the two of you are down for another bet, one that doesnât proceed towards failure, hopefully.
âthe last time you did something like this, you ended up running back to me and asking me to date you,â he scoffs softly, side-eyeing you with a mocking gaze, quite ready to pull out the receipts if you ever deny his words. you hate how correct he is, all the time, actually, and you hate how you donât have words to argue back.
lee heeseung, a nobody to you till he switched to your department, just some student who was there to pass time until he started ranking above you on tests and flipped your whole world upside down. you tried to not think about him and failed every timeâ still beats you why. youâve never let distractions get the best of you, but heeseung, perhaps heâs more than just a distraction, or maybe he isnât a distraction at all. heâs like a plant in your garden that you could care less aboutâ should care less about, itâs growing without harming your plants, but itâs creeping against a wall with pretty flowers for show, and before you know it, itâs demanding for all your attention that you offer without second thoughts, unwillingly at first.Â
heâs the bane of your existence and object of all your desires, to put it simply and make it sound clichĂ©. youâve had your moments trying to run away from him, get him out of your head, annoy him to the point heâd prefer flying to the other side of the globe, or that could be you too, anywhere, far from him. but life, for the thousandth time, is unpredictable. when was the last time something worked out exactly how you had plannedâ canât remember, obviously, just like the way you donât remember when heeseung started occupying a corner of your brain, popping in and out at random times and disrupting your thought process. the more you tried to ignore him, the further he housed in your head, the deeper in your heart, closer, within your reach, as if for you to grab his hands and let him enter your side of the world.Â
and so, you kiss him again, pulling him towards you with the collars of his jacket. you feel him smile, a triumphant smile, as expected from someone who is used to winning. you don't think you can say you've lost, not at the way he cups your cheeks and tilts his head to deepen the kiss just moments before you pull away. âi always run back to you, donât i?âÂ
and you're a child infatuated with their favourite sport, a painter falling in love with strokes, a pianist dancing to the melody of rachmaninoff, a student addicted to getting a perfect score, a player addicted to winning. you trace back to things you like, you always run back to heeseung,
and you always would.Â
TEN MINUTES LATER :
heeseung plants a soft peck on your lips. âdinnerâs on you,âÂ
âfuck!âÂ
#âapproved.#@ : fas.#k-labels#kflixnet#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fic#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#lee heeseung#heeseung#heeseung imagines#heeseung scenarios#heeseung fic#heeseung fanfic#heeseung x reader#heeseung x y/n#enhypen x reader#enhypen x y/n#heeseung fluff#heeseung angst#kpop fic#kpop fanfic#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung x y/n
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
End Game 4
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesnât go exactly as planned.
Characters: Andy Barber
Note: I'm a sleepy babay.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. Iâm trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I havenât forgotten those!) Please do not just put âmoreâ. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. đ
Thereâs a finality to the tap of your thumb. You hold the block button for a moment before you let it go. The window pops up asking if youâre sure. Yes. Certain. This is just a mistake and when youâre older and wiser, youâll be thankful you made it. If you even remember it.Â
You lay back and put your phone down. Done. Over. No more Jacob. No Andy. Â
Maybe youâll go back and see Kara again, or she can come here, even if she hates this town. You can at least be thankful that it reconnected you two, and you have to be grateful to learn a hard lesson. Donât mess with strangers online. Youâre better off alone.Â
You close your eyes. Youâre exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, and yes, physically. Who knew scooping ice cream could be so much work?Â
When you wake up, youâre sore and still groggy. The sun peers in at you brightly in the slat between the curtains. You groan and hide under the pillow. Your shift starts at noon. You canât spend all morning doing nothing or the whole day is wasted.Â
You drag yourself out of bed. Your grandma is still asleep. Youâre sure she was up until dawn with her latest haul from the used book store. You clean up the cluster of wrappers around her chair and tidy up the kitchen, dumping the old coffee and brewing a new pot.Â
You go to grab your phone and pause as you see an unusual notification. Your email? Huh. You donât really use that besides for school. You open it up, thinking it might be about enrolment. No. Itâs him. Andy. Holy moly.Â
You scroll up and down, skimming the blocks of text. Oh god. You hit delete. Youâre not reading all that. You said what needed to be said.Â
You have your coffee and load the machine for whenever your mother gets out of bed. You eat and wash up, catching up on some Youtube before you make yourself get your uniform on. You head out, walking to work to enjoy the sunshine, and key in between tying on your apron and chatting with Gavin, the high schooler who does half-shifts every now and then. Â
He leaves at four and you have your complimentary cone just after five. Peanut butter chocolate; classic. You eat at the window as you watch the mostly empty street. Your phone vibrates and you slide it out, hoping to take advantage of the lull.Â
WhatsApp request? No way. The shammy recruiters always want a piece of you. At least you never fell for that.Â
You bite into the cone and your phone suddenly blows up with Insta notifications. Bots! Ugh. So annoying. Every new follower is faceless with some generated name. You mute the notifications and put your cell away. You really are a boring person.Â
As you look up, tires crush over a patch of gravel and your barely catch a glimpse of the car as it rolls just around the corner. You feel like youâve missed something. Maybe your grandma is right about you always having your nose buried in a screen. Who is she to talk? She lives in her novels.Â
Your shift ends at eight. You lock up and stop by the convenience store down the block. Nothing special, just a tray of carbonara you can shove in the nuke. As you pay at the counter, the door chimes to signal another customer. You accept your meagre meal as the other patron strides into the aisle. You donât look over as you go directly for the door. Youâre starving for more than a scoop.Â
Your footsteps seem to echo through the dull streets. The frozen meal makes your hand hurt as your other holds your cell phone close. You text Kara as you finally get through the essay she wrote about Calvinâs latest antics. You wish you could convince her to play something. You feel aimless without an analog stick under your thumb.Â
Thereâs a scuff, close behind you, loud enough to make you jump. You fumble with your phone and glance over your shoulder. You donât see anything but the thick oak outside Luellaâs. Ugh. Alright, you need to eat and lay down. It hasnât been a busy day but still a long one.Â
You pass through your grandmaâs front door. Sheâs where she always is, in her chair, but somethingâs off. Somethingâs different. The smell of pollen hangs in the air and a pot stands on the coffee table with several white orchids tall in the soil. You frown. The last time you got her flowers, she didnât even put them in a vase.Â
âOh, those are pretty,â you say.Â
âMph, not mine,â she grumbles, not looking up.Â
âNot... whoâs...âÂ
âDelivery man said your name. I didnât read the card. Iâm not a snoop.âÂ
You nod, thankful at least that she isnât nosy. You go to the table and examine the pot. Who would send you flowers?Â
You take the card off the tall pronged stick and open the envelope. You slide out the paper and unfold it.Â
âI know Iâve told you a million times, so Iâll show you how sorry I am instead. Yours always, Andy.âÂ
You nearly drop your handful. Your eyes flick up to the pot and you have to stop yourself from pushing it off the table. What the hell? How... how does he know where you live? You never even mentioned what town youâre from. He only knows your college and itâs so small, he wouldnât have heard of it.Â
Itâs enough to unsettle you. That he knows where you live is bad enough but the flowers themselves make a point. Itâs not over. Heâs not walking away but what else can you say to make him? Didnât he get it? You think were pretty nice considering.Â
âYou got some boy?â Your grandma raises her eyes from the page. You canât remember the last time she even bothered looking at you.Â
âNot exactly,â you tuck the card away and put it in your pocket. âIâm going to make my dinner.âÂ
âEh,â she grumbles, âfine. Get them flowers somewhere else. They stink.âÂ
You lift the vase, hugging it around the pot, and carry it from the room. You balance it against your hip and go into the kitchen. You use your free hand to pull open the freezer and put the pasta inside. Youâre not so hungry anymore.Â
đź
The irises are pretty. The pot they came in is fancy, probably expensive. It underlines once more the gap between you and the real Jacob. Between you and Andy.
It only reminds you of how ridiculous you must have sounded. So, you just canât understand why heâs doing this? Why is he still trying? For you? A girl with dwindling hopes of even finishing her low-tier college degree.Â
You try to forget. You donât have a shift that day but you canât just sit around. Usually, you would. Youâd hole up in your bedroom and play video games. Not anymore. He ruined that. Youâre disappointed youâre letting him.Â
You got down to the library for a while and wander around. Thereâs nothing there youâre very interested in. They still havenât got the latest release in the series youâd read in high school. Oh well, youâll wait around until one day you learn the fate of those revolutionary spies.Â
You walk the main strip of the town. It isnât very extensive. Thereâs a coffee shop and the used bookstore which also carries hobby supplies. Thereâs the same diner thatâs been there since you were a kid and the interchangeable business that open and close year after year.Â
Thereâs a vibe in your pocket. Itâs not Kara. Another WhatsApp request, more Insta bots, and Discord. You havenât been on the server in ages. You couldnât keep up with all the channels and most of it was arguing about mining strategies.Â
Itâs Andy. Frig. You shouldâve blocked him there too. You just hadnât thought of it.Â
âDid you like the flowers?âÂ
You donât answer but heâll see that you read it. It isnât long before heâs typing.Â
âI am still very sorry. I wish youâd talk to me. Hear me out.âÂ
Hear him out? He said everything. His son is dead and he lied to you. Thatâs not anything you can hash out.Â
âI know youâre not working today. Iâll make a new world and we can chat there.âÂ
No. Thatâs not going to happen. Over. O-V-E-R. Itâs done. Youâre not going to be like Kara. When you cut the cord, itâs snipped.Â
You wonât answer. Thatâs just bait. Heâll keep nibbling if you do that. You press the chat settings and block. Thatâs better, you canât breathe.Â
You put your phone on silent and back in your pocket. You wish you had the money to try the sushi place. It wonât last long in the bodunk town so you probably wonât ever get to. Oh well. Back on campus, they sell decent California rolls at the cafeteria. Decent, not necessarily good.Â
You go home. To your grandmaâs house. It doesnât always feel like home. You know sheâs counting the days until you leave. You are too.Â
You wish you were brave enough to apologise. To say sorry your mom and dad didnât want you. That she got stuck with you. It feels like saying it out loud would be worse. Just wallow in the unspoken resent, one day you wonât ever come back and maybe then you can both be happy.Â
In your room, you donât know what to do with yourself. Your Switch taunts you from across the room. You want to mine or race or even scare yourself with some Hellblade. You canât. More Youtube. More wasted time. Thatâs what people like you do; people from small towns with no one who loves them and no money; waste time.Â
The mindless videos help you relax but not forget. You just canât get rid of the little tickle at the back of your head. Thereâs a tinge of shame that remains and a sliver of guilt. It will go. It has to, one day.Â
You catch yourself staring at the orchid. You can smell it. You want to throw it away but that feels rude. Even if Andy would never know, even if you shouldnât care. He hurt you, didnât he? He lied. Well, you could give it to Mahalia next door, she loves flowers.Â
You lay in indecision. You donât want to do anything but lay there. Now that youâre still, you have no strength. Your day off is chipped away in your laziness. Â
The next day awaits you with another shift at the booth. And the day after and the day after.Â
Your fourth day in a row and you get a new Discord message. You know even before you open it, even by the blank avatar and nondescript username. Itâs him. Just leave me alone. Let it go. Let me forget.Â
âI know you donât want to hear from me but I need you to hear me. I canât stop thinking of you and what happened. I can do better. Please, let me apologise.âÂ
Blocked. Again.
Work. Again. Â
Youâre half asleep as you fill cones with soft serve. You smile and swallow yawns, faking it for the hyper children and cheerful couples.Â
When it slows, you work on cleaning the freezer, switching out empty containers with ones from the deep freeze. As you check the soft serve, thereâs a tap on the open walk-up window. Oh shoot. You shouldâve been paying better attention.Â
You turn back to greet the next customer but as you approach the window, your chest deflates. Frozen, like the tubs around you. You stare at Andy as he smiles at you. He wears a short-sleeve button up with blue, grey, and white stripes. His hair blows in the soft breeze.Â
âDo you have butterscotch ripple?â He asks brightly.Â
You blink and hesitate. You donât know what to do. How did he get here? How did he find you? Why is he here?Â
You reach for the window and before he can stop you, you shut it. You lock it from the inside and step back. His face falls and his brow arches as he stands straight. He says your name, his voice muffled by the glass, and puts his palm to the barrier.Â
âPlease,â he begs.Â
You shake your head and turn your back to him. If your manager was here, youâd be in shit. Thatâs a no-no. Never turn away a customer, only shut the window when you lock up.Â
You ignore him and go back to tidying. There could be a line up out there but you donât care. Your hands are shaking and itâs not just the temperature.
You just canât believe heâs there. You canât believe he wonât just give up. You donât want to believe it because youâre afraid. Youâre terrified and he seems entirely clueless about how scary heâs being.Â
Flowers are one thing but showing up at your job? Thatâs a flaming red flag that even you can see. Not only because you told him plainly that you donât want to talk to him again, but because heâs a grown man. Fortysomething and he canât take a hint. Why would a man his age want to talk to someone as young as you? Thatâs another red flag on its own. As if catfishing you wasnât enough.Â
#andy barber#dark andy barber#dark!andy barber#andy barber x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#end game#defending jacob
243 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I wanted to ask some pointers on humour writing, as well as *ahem* angst/injury writing. I'm writing a story where the very beginning will have some descriptions of a serious injury. After that, it will turn to humour. I KNOW you already did one about blood loss so if there's nothing more to add, you can ignore the injury part of this lol. (Still would love angst pointers)
Anyways, thanks so much! You're amazing for giving these tips!
OH! additionally, advice for emotional writing? I'm currently writing a story where a couple end up breaking up, later becoming friends. I am struggling writing the emotional phone calls and things.
Again, thanks so much!
hello!
SO this is long so there'll be a divider in the middle. I'll do the humor/injury part and then the second bit.
humor
so you think ur a comedian, eh? Humor is really hard to write and I'm gonna be honest, it's something you just gotta roll with. Not everybody has the same sense of humor. Not everybody is gonna pick up on the humor you are trying to write. It's just a fact. That being said, when you consider the intelligibility of your writing, you don't wanna think about that too much.
Like most of my posts, for example. I'm pretty sardonic and affectionately aggressive, which is kind of a theme on tumblr, so most people understand it. If you read the comment section however, you can also pick out the people who just have no fucking clue what's going on.
that's gonna happen! it's fine.
When you are thinking about the kind of humor you want to put in your story, think about the role you want it to play. Are you writing an honest to God, Jim Carrey slapstick or is the comedy a vessel for something more poignant? either is a good choice, but each has its own pointers.
when you are writing in the humor, the biggest guiding point I can say is 'does it make sense?' the audience might not share the sense of humor, but as long as they can clue into the subtext and still follow the story, that's what matters. Otherwise nobody will be able to follow it.
The humor also needs to make sense for the kind of story. Unless you are intentionally playing with social stereotypes, frat boy jokes don't make sense in a dramatic romance. Just like sarcastic 'tumblr' humor won't make sense in a victorian era, even if your main character is quirky.
At the end of the day, it's your story. Whatever makes sense, still pulls off the funny bits, and tells the story is a-okay.
major injury
yes i already did a post but it's okay! I've actually muted the notifications on that one because oh my god.
I digress.
angsty injuries are great because it's a good time for some poetry. I like describing open wounds like moldy fruit because they both smell bad, squish if you step on them, and the bloody pulpy stuff kinda looks like raspberry jam. Or pomegranates! describing it like a pomegranate is actually symbolic because of the association with death.
wow that was graphic.
well anyway, describing injuries that are angsty is best with prose and a lot of really sentimental moments. I also did a post on my other acct @pygmi-cygni that I unfortunately haven't transferred over yet about sentence structure? or maybe it was linked into my grammar post? I don't remember but one of my most recent asks also brought it up; playing with sentence structure to convey emotion.
hope that helps?? i confused myself so maybe not.
emotional writing
lovely stuff.
dig deep into the character mindsets. Do a lot of yes/no up/down. Like character one has one opinion/emotional feeling and the other one directly parallels it. it adds tension and makes the readers pine after the relationship.
the characters are confused too. like, this person they used to share a house and sleep together and eat together and now. don't?
It feels like a gaping wound. They'll feel maybe lost, a bit disoriented. Probably a lotttt of awkward calls. maybe slip in an accidental pet name? Just, really highlight the sad nostalgia. As if you think of something and understand fundamentally that it's gone forever. that kind of acheyness in your chest.
dual POV works great here too to get both sides of the story.
FLASHBACKS. to the relationship, and then to the exact same situation but they're not talking/not like they were. like 'oh I'm making pancakes, we used to make pancakes on saturdays and then cut to the other character eating pancakes alone also.
or something.
oof i want to cry now.
thanks I hope I helped??? it's 6 am I might revisit this lmao
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
I know I have a phobia of bugs and spiders and I know (and greatly appreciate) that you started tagging bug posts for that very reason but I have not muted the tag or turned off notifications for your blog. Reasons being 1. The phobia of bugs isn't bad enough I cant handle a few seconds of exposure when scrolling past and the more... exotic? I guess??? the bug is the the less my phobia makes me feel the effects and I can appreciate a cool looking bug (There is no amount of spiders I can stand though, even the thought of them activates the phobia.) And 2. I really enjoy your info dumps about bugs and hearing what you have to say about them, your blog is just really endearing to me, like watching a cool exotic bug wearing a top hat playing wario ware on max difficulty perfectly on the bus. Also I love me a good obscure fact.
I am in a hell of my own creation.
Do not cry for me, for I am already stupid.
Top ten funnest messages to receive after sticking my arm into a tub of cockroaches
No but you're so real for this and I am so happy that I can offer a safe avenue to learn about bugs. I actually was talking to someone at my job today about the importance of invertebrate conservation education (contrary to popular belief i do have a job and it does have to do with bugs), and a big part of that is taking away the unfamiliarity of these animals and presenting them in a way that people can relate to and appreciate. Generally speaking things become less scary the less "unknown" they are, and if the things you know about them are endearing (like centipedes being good mamas, or bees making an "oop" sound when they bump into each other), it can take away some of that fear. And you're right that arthropods are INCREDIBLY important ecologically so that's another reason I'm passionate about this subject.
That being said I'm happy to tag spiders in addition to bugs because I'm not trying to jumpscare people! That'd be counterproductive! (However if you're up for it, I have heard that the Lucas the Spider animations on youtube have helped a lot of people with their fear; it's computer-animated semi-stylized depiction of a jumping spider but it's voiced by a cute little kid, and even though it's a little corny I do think it has done a lot for spider PR. Obviously not for everyone though!) And yeah I feel you on that last point, I would never compare not liking bugs to actual bigotry (especially with simply bugphobic people, whom I am chill with) nor would I ever compare the plight of bugs to that of actual marginalized people, BUT at the same time if someone steps over the line and is viciously hateful about any animal (e.g. commenting "KILL IT WITH FIRE" on someone's pet, adamantly insisting that an entire species needs to go extinct, unloading a whole bottle of raid on 1 ant, etc.) simply because it is different or inconveniencing them, I will be very suspicious of their ability to be normal about human beings who are different or inconveniencing them. If nothing else I will think they are a massive tool!
But ya I so deeply respect your ability to appreciate the value of these animals despite your phobia, cause so many people don't even without that obstacle. Every bug on earth salutes you (from a safe distance)
Here is a pic of me playing smooth moves
#also an aside but i'm flattered that people have notifications on for my blog. I've never touched notifications so i have no idea how that w#orks but i'm tickled by the idea of someone getting an important alert on their phone that dingdong called orbulon a squid again
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Signed on to tumblr and your 'of course it doesn't feel right' post was the first thing on my dash. I was immediately like 'uh oh,' then scrolled down to the tag you used and saw it was trending and went 'UH OH' and then clicked on it to see what the hell was happening. So. Uh. Thanks for breaking the news to me, I guess. Feels weird to say I'm sorry for your loss when it's a celebrity, but... it's still a loss. And your grief is real. Sending sympathy.
god, I'm so sorry. I'm still in the shock phase I think? there was a bit of anger earlier, but just kinda feeling numb right now.
I don't know what's the best way to receive news like this.... is there a best way? my mum phoned me to check up on me while I was at the gym and I haven't even seen it yet. she saw it and thought of me and wanted to see if I was okay. god. for a second for whatever reason I thought she meant Liam Gallagher. it felt so far away from a real actual possibility that I didn't understand what she was saying. and then all I could think to do is to finish my workout because what else can you do ?? then the bbc news notification came through and i just kept doing my workout and did not click on it. I have so many thoughts and emotions and none of them really truly meaningful or comprehensible. muted every related word on twitter because I already saw opinions and takes i did not want to see. saw some more after muting every related word. thankfully people on here have been nothing but lovely and gentle and wise. I love us and what we all built together so much.
thanks so much for messaging. so sorry you found out from me, although maybe I'm a little bit glad you didn't find out some other way. sending all the love.
you're so right, it shouldn't feel as meaningful as it does, but of course it is, because I never met him, but he was right here on my screen for so so long and so close to me in so many ways. sorry for your loss too. hope you know all you're feeling right now is completely valid â€ïž much love.
0 notes
Note
I'd love to see the option to disable likes on a post. As of recently, we have the option to disable reblogs on a post, so now completing the set would be very useful for a number of reasons.
Currently, when people want to stop receiving notifications for a post, they delete the orignal post altogether, a move that is unfortunately permanent and kills a little bit of Tumblr history. Disabling reblogs does stop a post from spreading, but people can still see it and give it a like, so the ability to disable reblogs only doesn't fully discourage people from deleting the original post.
I know likes don't do NOTHING and that they're actually pretty important for how some Tumblr features work, but a lot of creators become frustrated with how many more likes than reblogs they receive, primarily from new users who come from sites where likes are the only form of interaction. Reblogs are what truly keeps a post in regular circulation, a concept that is uniquely Tumblr. Being able to turn likes off might encourage people to reblog things more, or at all, which would lead to an even longer post lifespan.
Maybe it would be funny to turn off likes and reblogs on a post to keep it at, say, 420 total notes forever. Whatever number makes the joke land!
There are plenty of possibilities for why Tumblr users would appreciate this feature!
Hey, hey, @fxa!
We will be straight with you: itâs highly unlikely, as I donât foresee us ever wanting to implement such a change. Likes are just way too useful a signal for us, and there isnât really the same angle as disabling reblogs. Weâre sorry to say and totally understand the frustrations.
However, if the problem is getting flooded with notifications when a post goes viral, we hear you. We have added the ability to âmuteâ push notifications for specific posts, and want to expand that to mute activity items on a per-post basis (the API already supports it, we just need to build a useful interface). For more info on this, please check out these search results on our Help Center!
Weâre sorry we canât do more for this ask and thank you for your question. Thanks also to @joyflameball who got in touch with the same.
Love,
âCyle (Tumblr Engineering)
186 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love For The Faceless
Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: FluffÂ
Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpseâs example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.
Requested by anon, you know who you are đ Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.
âHey!â I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying âhiâ to my audience.
Iâve been a YouTuber for four years now and Iâve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. Sheâs the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Raeâs debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasnât small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.
My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now itâs closer to three million. Speaking of three million, Iâm about to reach it any day now and itâs really hard to believe. Iâm a gaming youtuber and Iâve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.
My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While weâre on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. Iâve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. Iâm not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I donât show my face. Iâve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasnât lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, itâs a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, itâs not something Iâd like to show to my viewers.
Eight âhiâs greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. âSorry Iâm late guys. Technical difficulties.âÂ
âDonât worry.â Raeâs voice dominates over the rest, âCorpse still isnât here so weâre waiting for him.â
I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. Iâm most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they donât have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I canât find it in me to believe they are being genuine. Iâd like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.
âSorry Iâm late guys.â A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.
âHi Corpse.â Rae greets him.
âHello mister who broke Twitter!â Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.
âYeah, congratulations man. Thatâs a big deal.â Felix chimes in.
âThanks guys, but I think youâre forgetting weâre talking about a picture of my hand.â Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.
âThatâs what makes it even better!â I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.
âWhile weâre on that topic...â Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. âY/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.â
I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when Iâm supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. âHavenât thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.â I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, âThat sounds so weird.â
Rae knows that Iâm not too fond of my face, but I havenât told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people Iâve met online think Iâm using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.
âJust a suggestion. No pressure.â Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. âLetâs get this game started, shall we.â
                             * * *
The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. Iâm sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.
âItâs a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?â I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. âYouâll be fine.â
In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned âTook a leaf from my friendâs book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?â and the second âThanks, Rae. These are on you.â
Raeâs POV
As Iâm watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.
I scoff, âMore like the first time in forever.â
The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone thatâs been long time coming. I bring the glass of water thatâs sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I donât drop it. Y/Nâs hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger!Â
Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water thatâs been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture Iâm looking at.Â
Another hand is resting on top of Y/Nâs. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black.Â
I think I know who it belongs to.
Before I can even finish the thought, Iâm dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. âHey Rae!â
âDonât you âHey Raeâ me!â I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, sheâs my best friend, for fuckâs sake. âIs that Corpse in the photo with you?!â
âUgh....â the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.
I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesnât know what to say. âSo he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, havenât!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!â
Thereâs a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just canât express it.
âRae, sweetheart, please calm down. Youâre scary when youâre mad.â This girl has some fucking nerve! Sheâs on the verge of laughing!
âListen here you...âÂ
âRae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.â That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.
I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.
âNow that weâve got you quiet, I can explain.â Y/N pics up the conversation, âCorpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. Youâre the best.â She pauses to breathe in real quick, âThere, all caught up?â
Iâm in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. âYes...no. I donât fucking know! I need details, Y/N!â
âDetails later.â Corpse makes his presence known once again, âWeâre watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.â
âLove you, Rae!â Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.
My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me.Â
âMotherfuckersâ I mumble under my breath.
Y/Nâs POV
Itâs been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that sheâs incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she canât help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.
âAny regrets?â I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.
âNot being able to see her face when she saw the picture.â I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.
He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.
@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios
#corpse#corpse husband#corpsehusband#husband#corpse husband fanfic#corpse simp#corpse husband fanficiton#corpse fanfiction#corpse fanfic#corpse x reader#corpse husband x y/n#corpse husband x reader#x reader#reader#request#requests open
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
BakuSquadâs Boy Part 1
A/N: Based on a fic that doesnât exist anymore :( Iâll be adding my own head canons from what i remember of the og fic. This whole thing is in a headcanon format :)))
Kirishima was sitting down when he noticed their new transfer student walking into the cafeteria looking lost. Without thinking twice he quickly caught the attention of the male and motioned him to come over.
âIs it okay if I join you?â you asked, recognizing the spiky haired student as your classmate.
âOf course, let me introduce you to everybody!â
The redhead introduced all the guys sitting at the table. The talkative blonde with the lightning bolt in his hair was Kaminari . The smiling black haired boy with oddly shaped elbows was Sero and the angry-faced pale blonde with red eyes was Bakugo. While the rest smiled at you he merely sneered and ignored you.
âDonât let him bother you too much, he's a grouch!â Kirishima said smiling.
The entire lunch period was spent talking to the Bakusquad and explaining how you transferred from the hero school in your home country and enrolled at UA. Laughing with them and bonding over memes and hero training.
It didnât take long for you to become part of the friend group.
Yâall are a chaotic group of motherfuckers
The group chat is mess; Bakugo is trying to help people w homework, Zero is constantly sharing tick tocks and at 2 am Denki will spam it with memes ( which pisses Bakugo off bc it wakes him up when he forgets to mute his notifications)
Yâall will study together, which surprisingly, can be super productive sometimes.
It honestly didnât take very long for you guys to become inseparable. They have you back and you have theirs. Training and working out together is a plus because sometimes yâall are too busy to actually fully hangout.
Kirishima will compliment you in a âmanlyâ way and will totally be your hype man. Will be ecstatic when you give back the same energy. One time Bakugo joined you guys for his morning workout and his jaw almost fell to the ground when he saw you take your shirt off. He couldnât help but stare like holy shit you were ripped. Training with Kiri really did pay off. Bakugo smirked to himself when he noticed his red haired friend was also checking you out when you didnât notice.Â
Going to the mall with Sero and Denki is a whole ass ride. Yâall will go to so many stores and either waste all your money or just fuck around. Hot Topic is definitely a favorite of theirs. They donât care if itâs not your vibe because they will want to deck you out in the fitting rooms to see what you look like. Once they pushed the curtain before you were done changing your shirt and both pairs of eyes went straight to your body, making you blush.
After being friends for so long the Bakusquad could read each other's emotions and all recognized that they had crushes on you. They talked about it and concluded that this would by no means would get between their friendship but would amicably flirt with you.
They organized a sleepover not too long after. But it was basically them all fighting each other about whoâs room they would be staying in. Ended up going to Bakugoâs room because it was the closest for most of them. When you got there you were so caught up with the movie that you didn't realize they were low-key fighting each other for a spot next to you/ touching you in general. It was when yâall were going to sleep when you realized you left your sheets and what not in your room. Bakugo without missing a beat said you could sleep with him which then prompted Denki to tell you that âBakugoâs feet smell like shit you don't wanna sleep with himâ for Kiri to go â Hey that isnât manly, you should sleep w me Y/N.â. While the three of them were battling it out you and Sero were just sitting crouched in the corner. âI mean Y/N I could always get sheets and stuff from my rooms âcause it's not that far from here.â only for Bakugo to throw a pillow straight in his face yelling âShut it Soy-Sauce face!!â Yeah they felt really bad in the morning when you ended up sleeping on the floor with nothing covering you.
Sero will want to smoke with you. The first time he smoked with you, you ended up having a panic attack and he felt responsible for making you panic and so anxious. He tries to smoke by himself for the meanwhile until you convince him to let you try again. It goes much better this time. Yâall start vibing to his latin playlist and he tries to teach you but yâall just end up stumbling over each other and constantly laughing. When dancing becomes physically exhausted and watches tick tocks and videos on his phone. Which ends up with yâall crying over the video where the racoon tries to wash his cotton candy but it dissolves. At some point the tears become too much and you both reach for each other which ends up with y'all sobbing and cuddling each other. Yâall fell asleep like this :)
The whole squad smokes at one point or another. Kirishima does it whenever heâs just in the mood to hangout and he uber chills. Bakugo does it to relieve stress and just enjoy life a bit. Denki smokes the 2nd most in the group just whenever he needs to kill time or he wants to vibe.
There will be times when y'all will smoke together and just fuck shit up. Like, one night after exam yâall are smoking but shit starts getting wild. Like y'all are hopping off the walls and dancing around to random music. Denki will find a roach that's stuck on its back and trying to get back off its legs but yâall are dancing all around it thinking it's like break dancing. â AYYYY FUCK IT UPâ Bakugo would yell âGET INTO ITâ Sero would then yell. One of yâall took a video and accidentally posted it on Snapchat so the next day Mina would ask like wth happened last night bc yâalls tik toks and snapchats were wack af. Sero would probably speak on behalf of the group and say â We were just really hyper.
When they all become hyper aware of their feelings not only for you but like low-key for each other they all change a lil bit. Like:
Denki stops flirting with people outside of the Baku Squad. Heâs more touchy with yâall. Holding onto arms, arms over shoulders, hands on waists, holding hands, sitting in yâalls laps (this is a big one)
Kirishima has more energy when heâs with you guys. Like he could be running lower on battery than normal but one of y'all just comes up to him and he lights up like a light bulb.
Bakugo stops ruining desks and promptly yelling at people. Heâs toned down and becomes a bit more chilled out. Mostly when he's with you guys. He is still a grumpy gremlin when he is with people who arenât the Baku Squad.
Sero actually hides it pretty well and no one notices and changes that are indicative of a crush. Probably a bit more confident in himself
Kirishima and Denki acting like they haven't seen each other in sages when it really has only been like five minutes.
â OMG BRO IT'S BEEN FOREVERâ
âOMG DENKI MY MAN I MISSED YOU SM!â
â BRO CâMERE AND PLANT A PHAT ONE ON ME!â
âHELL YA MY DUDE, THIS IS GONNA BE MANLY.â
And then proceed to aggressively walk toward each other, slap each others asses and plant a kiss on each other's cheeks before erupting into a huge fit of laughter. While people around them are just like âwtf is going onâ
Touching becomes a thing.
Yâall will actively find each other when y'all want a hug or cuddles or smth. Forehead and cheek kisses are a thing. Bakugo takes much longer to warm up to everyone starting really with you and Kirishima. most comfortable holding yâalls hands loosely and rubbing your knuckles. Denki probably does this the most. He lives for physical affection, just give this poor boy his much needed cuddles and kithes.
Despite yâall high-key crushing for each other you all still are absolutely focused on your career paths as heros. Bakugo helping teach english and you trying to help ( if you know english well enough to teach )
âOk idiots for the last time what word do we use to describe Sarah?â
âI mean she took these poor dudes apples and all of these are positive adjectives...i think.â
âYeah Sarahâs kind of a bitch.â
âSHUT IT YOU TOO AND ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!â
âI mean Bakubro they arenât wrong...â
âNOT YOU TOO KIRI!â
You guys work so well during team vs fights bc of how well you all know each other.
Itâs an absolute mess but yâall love eachother <3
I will be making a part 2 ( + 3 i think ) so hang around for more :)
MASTERLIST
#bnha imagine#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#mha academia imagines#bakusquad x male reader#bakusquad#bnha bakugo#mha bakugo#bakugo katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugo x male reader#kirishima eijiro imagine#kirishima x reader#kirishima x male reader#sero x reader#sero hanta imagines#sero x male reader#denki kaminari imagines#denki x reader#denki x male reader#kaminari x male reader#male reader#x male reader#x male reader imagines#bnha x male reader#x male reader fluff#x male reader smut#x male reader headcanons
453 notes
·
View notes
Note
Omg thank you so much for writing my request for tom :) Can I ask for a part two where you try not to read the comments, but end up doing so, and most are good, so it's fine. Until you post a picture of you on your account, and tom's fans start calling you names, and tom's so tired of all that happening that he posts on his account a whole paragraph about how his personal life it's no one's business?
Posted
This is part two, find the first part here
Summary | previously Tom had accidentally posted a picture of the two of you, exposing your relationship. And so, you decide to purposely do the same on your Instagram, though the response is much different than what his post had received.
Warnings | hate comments, some angst, swear and demeaning words
Quick link to my masterlist, if youâre interested in reading more of my crap đŹ
Tom was asleep beside you, his head tucked into the crook of your neck, you were able to feel his gentle, slumbering breathing against your skin, and it caused goose bumps to prickle upon the outer layer of your flesh.
The two of you had vastly fallen asleep upon the couch, and your phone was on the coffee table, and to say that you were itchy to reach for it was an understatement. There would be comments on the picture that Tom accidentally put online, and you were hungry to see them, whilst simultaneously nervous.
Tom was a big actor, known for his presence in the marvel cinematic universe upon many other projects, and some of his fans, whilst proven during Comic-Con panels, were borderline crazy. Theyâd snap if they even so much as saw something that they didnât like, and this time, you would be on the receiving end of it.
Being motionlessly captured, with your face on show, was certain to bring much attention. You too were within the acting department, but there had been no correlation between the pair of you until now, most of the world werenât even aware that you knew each other. And not to mention, your span of reaching an audience was smaller, although, certainly not non existent.
You had reprised fame during your appearance on Modern Family, as the friendly neighbour of Phil and Claire, and a classmate of their eldest daughter, and not to mention Luke was crushing hard on the character you played, though, with that said, your character laughed his efforts off due to the age difference, yet still found his pining weird and often uncomfortable.
Another role that you were becoming known for was your character in Netflixâs Irregulars, where you met Harrison Osterfield, Tomâs best friend. Through filming the show, you were introduced to the Spider-Man actor, and the pair of you had hit it off almost instantly, if you didnât include Tom keeping his amorous distance, wary just in case there was something going on between you and your mutual friend. To his relief, there wasnât.
And thus, when he received that confirmation, he was far more forward, yet respectful at the same time with his intentions. That was how you had ended up here, as he half used you as a pillow, his arms wrapped around his ribs, and his soft peaceful snores filling the void in the air.
Stretching your arm at its furthest length, your fingertips wrestled with the side of your phone, padding it closer to yourself, so that you could slide it across the small living room table, and closer to yourself. You were victorious in your efforts, and so on you unlocked your screen, going to your camera app, and leaning sideways so that you could snap a few pictures of your predicament with your loving and sweet boyfriend.
Looking at the images that you had captured, a smile arose upon your face; you truly did love this man, and you wanted the whole world to know how much you adored him. You wanted them to see that you cared about him, and that he was in good hands with you, to cool off any of his fans that were processing their hurt feelings for seeing Tom with another woman, show him that he was getting the love that he deserved.
Extreme courage coursed through your veins, focusing within your fingertips as you opened insta, gulping as you readied to post the image. There was no editing required, it was perfect just like him. And so, the caption was something to think about, you didnât want to make it too obvious that you were dating as the online community already assumed, the priority was to show them that you cared about him.
âHeâs taking a nap, and crushing my hip a little, but I donât mind đâ you typed, your finger hovering over the post button as you chewed your lip. It was easy to press your digit down, and so, taking a breath, you did just that, encouraged by the previous and kind comments on Tomâs earlier post.
Within a matter of minutes, your phone was blowing up, and you were too tempted not to glance at the growing comment section. There were various accounts, some supporting your confidence to show such a domestic version of yourself with Tom, you assumed that they were your followers, and the ones that werenât so light hearted were those that intently watched anything on the media that involved Tom.
âHeâs too good looking for her, she should be dating someone within her league. Tom is clearly taking pity on this hoe.â
âAw look at him, and ew, look at the state of her. He could do sm better đâ
âWhy doesnât she look like his exes, they were hot af, and now heâs with some rando that is after his fame and money. Maybe she should just take better roles if she wants to get noticed so bad.â
Your eyes kept reeling through the intentionally hateful words that continued to come through beneath the image. Tears began to fall from your eyes as you tried to stifle the movements and the sound of your gentle sobbing, as to not wake Tom. Quickly, your fingers raced through the social media, and you, knowing that there would still be presence of the image somewhere online, you deleted it, muting notifications and shuffled back into Tom.
The man stirred, tugging you closer by your waist, pressing a kiss to your locks as he awoke. He noticed however the way that you refused to face him, and so he rolled you over with a gentle grip on your shoulder, frowning when he saw the recognisable redness beneath your eyes, and the sad expression floating within your eyes.
âPrincess, whatâs going on?â He wiped his thumb beneath your bottom lashes, collecting your tears as he worriedly looked down at you. His brown eyes searched every inch of your face for an idea, but found nothing but your broken hearted expression.
âItâs nothing Tommy.â You tried and failed to convince the man, wincing half heartedly as he sat back on his thighs, gripping your hips so that he could pull you up with him, giving him a clearer view of your face. It was clear that he did not believe you, and he hummed, trying to make you give in. Eventually, after much concerned staring, you gave in, slumping your shoulders as you tucked your arms around the back of his neck. âI posted a picture of us, the response wasnât great.â
Instantly, Tomâs brows uplifted, surprised by your action, though he had a strong inkling of a feeling that the reaction that you had earned was not complimentary. These were not tears of joy, instead they were stricken rivers of anguish and insecurity running down the length of your face.
âLet me see.â He spoke, softly to you, but his intents towards defending you strong. You shook your head lightly, tracing circles upon his knees as you gulped, flickering your guilty gaze up to his watchful eyes.
âI deleted it. I just couldnât deal with knowing that the longer that it was up, the more hate would be directed at me. Iâm sorry.â Tom grasped your face by your tense jaw, his fingers stroking your chin as he sadly stared at you.
âNever be sorry. Now send me the picture you used so that I can give everyone a piece of my mind.â Reaching for your phone, you sent the image to him, and in a second his device pinged, revealing that it had successfully sent to him.
âCute.â He described the picture, his hands furiously typing away on his phone, his constant unsettling of his rabidly moving fingers drawing anxiousness from you. âAnd some.â Tom finally breathed, closing his phone as you went to his account, checking what he had posted publicly.
âThis may concern some people, who keep sticking their noses in where it does not involve them. I appreciate you all, the support, the love, everything. But one thing that I do not stand for is people coming at my girlfriend just because they donât approve of our relationship. If you check mate, I never asked for your opinion, I love y/n, and some online hate, that needs to stop otherwise you are not someone I want to be calling themselves a fan of me, needs to stop. It makes no one happy or feel healthy with spreading such toxicity around the internet, if you donât like something, then keep your blood mouths shut, this has nothing to do with you, it is just me and my girlfriend. Iâd think youâd want me to be happy, because I want the same for all of you, so can people please give my partner some respect, sheâs done nothing wrong but bravely chose to reach out to you all, and she had that spat back in her face. Itâs not on, and I want this to stop now.â
âTom...â you were shocked by the paragraph, it came across as aggressive, and very over protective. His action, that could affect how he was cried by people that put him on a pedestal, and that made you feel guilty that he had reached out to them in such a way.
âItâs okay baby, Iâd do anything for you, and you know that. No one messes with my girl.â He put his arm around your shoulders as he pulled you close placing a kiss upon your forehead. Not only was he your boyfriend, but he was your protector, your knight on a shining cell phone.
#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland one shot#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x you#tom holland reader insert#tom x reader#tom imagine#marvel actors x reader#mcu actors x reader#imagines#imagine#xreader
195 notes
·
View notes
Note
can i maybe request some comfort hqâs w any of your favorite boys (but maybe throw in some oikawa) when their s/o doesnât get invited to hang out w her friends but like all her friends are hanging out and they didnât invite her so she just has to watch them all have fun on social media and stuff? totally not speaking from experience haha.. take your time if youâre busy! i love your writing so much đ„șâšđđ
hi bby i love u a lot <3 âšđđŠ
-
OIKAWA, BOKUTO AND TSUKISHIMA COMFORTING LEFT OUT S/O
-
OIKAWA
youâre minding your own business at home in your room scrolling through instagram when your heart sinksÂ
you see your friends have posted group photo they took today when they went out and failed to invite you
you felt silly being bothered by it but you couldnât hep itÂ
friends are meant to invite each other out not leave individual members out
while youâre staring at the picture, youâre interrupted by a facetime call from your boyfriend
you answer and see his smiling face on your screen
âhi y/n-chan i- wHATS WRONG?!â
he sees youâre not smiling back and he immediately knows somethings up
âits nothing tooru, donât worryâ
you give him a little reassuring smile and he frowns a littleÂ
so anyway you guys go about your call just talking as normal and you casually mention that your friends hung out without you
you canât actually see oikawaâs face because he has you on pause and kept muting and unmuting by what you assumed was accident
rude
but you just assume heâs on his daily run because you can hear him doing so
you carry on telling him about how youâd been left out and just talking about it made you tear up a little
âi know itâs stupid, but i can't help but feel annoyed.â
as youâre explaining to tooru you hear a knock at your door
muttering a quick âhang onâ to your boyfriend you go downstairs to see whoâs at your door
you open the door to reveal your panting boyfriend with a bag containing, one of his favourite hoodies you like to borrow, his laptop, another bag of take out food and a bunch of sunflowers gripped under his arm
âsorry i took so long y/n-chanâ
âtooru? what's all this?â
âas if im gonna let my pretty girl feel upset all by herself, come hereâ
he pulls you in for a tight hug and you let him inside where he unpacks the contents in the bagsÂ
the fact he did all of this for you make you want to tear up again
and you do just that
he pulls you back into his chest and wraps his arms around youÂ
âwhat did i do to deserve you?â
âi should be asking you.â
you guys eat your take out, oikawa has a shower because he was lowkey sweating with all that running about, you pull on the jumper he brought round for you (he only took it back in the first place because you mentioned his smell wasn't as strong on it anymore)
you watch a few films before you both start to just lay there and cuddle
âcome on, lets take cute photos!â
âwhy?â
âso we can show your stupid friends that you donât need to be with them when you have meâ
you guys take some immaculate pictures and upload them to your insta story where a ton of people are swiping up compliment how cute you both are
including a few of your friends who swooned over your boyfriend saying how they wished they had a boyfriend like tooru
oikawa looked at their messages and sneered
âignore them itâll piss them offâ
he is so petty
but so are you fdshfghu
heâll stay over for the night because he refuses to leave you until youâre totally over it
best boyfie
63/10 experience would die for this boy đŒ
-
BOKUTOÂ
bokuto is actually the one who points out that your friends are hanging out without you
you two have just left grabbing breakfast together when he sees your group walking and laughing together across the street
âhey y/n? aren't they your friends?â
âhuh?â
you turn to look and you wish you hadn'tÂ
bokuto saw the drop in your face and suddenly felt sad too
âdo you want me to say something?â
âdonât worry kou, itâs nothingâ
you give him a weak smile and pull him back to your house
the walk back is quiet which is unusual for the two of you as usually you two never stop talking to each otherÂ
when you get back home you turn away from your boyfriend and wipe a few stray tears that youâd been holding back the whole time
bokuto notices and grabs you shoulder and turns you to face him
âoh y/n please donât cry! shall we make a blanket fort? do you want to go out somewhere? shall i get akaashi to come over and we can plot muder against your friends?â
the boy isnât used to seeing you upset
heâs used to seeing you so happy and cheerful around him because he always does his best to make sure youâre comfortableÂ
you laugh dryly and smile at him
âno baby itâs fine, i just need to let it all out and iâll be goodâ
he pulls you and and wraps his big arms around you as your sobs grow louder into his chest
âk-kou am i stupid for feeling like this? itâs not even that serious i just feel kinda betrayed they didn't even ask me you know? like this isn't even the first time -iâ
you look up when you feel chest chest move and you sees HEâS got tears falling down his face too
âkou!! i know why iâm crying but why are YOU crying?â
âi-i don't know?? seeing you cry makes me cry??â
the two of you are laughing and sobbing together you forget why you were even sad in the first place
he picks you up bridal style and carried you over to the couch where the two of you proceed to just cuddle and enjoy each otherâs presence
âhey, y/n you should hang with me and akaashi at lunch if you wantâ
âmaybe...â
âcome onnnn, if your so-called âfriendsâ donât wanna hang with you, we most certainly do!â
heâs giving you his big toothy grin you can't say no to
âokay kou, iâll start spending my lunches with youâ
he doesn't even hide the fact he's excited lmao
âyES!! we get to spend even more time together now and everyones gonna see how cute we are together!â
bokuto just wants to make sure that wherever you are, he can make you smile and forget about all the bad thingsÂ
so the fact you agree to spend your lunchtimes with him makes him ecstatic now that he knows he can make it his mission everyday to make you smile more
he won't ever leave you alone when youâre sad so you spend the rest of your day playing on your switch and making tiktoks together
because bokuto will always want you to feel like youâre having fun with him because itâs your smile that first caught his attention before you started datingÂ
-
TSUKISHIMA
you and tsuki are at his house in his room together
both of you are going through your phones until your group chat starts spamming with photos and videosÂ
your notifications are going off like crazy and its driving tsukishima mental
âsince when were you popular?â
you glare at him as you open the messages and your face dropsÂ
your supposed friends were all sending videos and photos of each other into your group chat
they had all gone out and hadn't mentioned it to you
tsukishima glanced over to your phone and watched as you mindlessly tapped through the never ending stream of contentÂ
âi donât know why you surround yourself with such loserâs y/n, iâd be embarrassed to send videos of my friends screaming like babiesâ
this made you smile ever so slightly
youâre not a mean person
but there's something about tsukishimaâs snarky comments which make you feel better about the situation
tsuki has obviously noticed you were bothered about not being invited but he won't tell you he knows because it may trigger you to get upset
instead he pulls your back into his chest as the two of you lay in his bed together as he rests one of his arms on your side and the other over your shoulder
instead of being overly comforting, tsuki will encourage you to tap through the group chat but heâll make a snarky comments for each picture or video
âew she really left the house with confidence looking like that?â
âwhy has the girl on the right done her make up like that? did they go out for a day at the circus or something?â
âyou can see the people in the background literally cringing, i can feel the second hand embarrassment through the screenâ
the two of you sit there for a while laughing and making snide commentsÂ
tuskiâs are way worse than yours because he literally doesn't know how to stopÂ
after you finish tapping through everything, you set your phone down and smile at your boyfriendÂ
âhey, thanks for thatâ
âfor what? being myselfâ
âfor making me laugh you idiotâ
âi was being honest but okay thenâ
youâll just lay there together in a comforting silence
âyou know... youâre too good for them anyway, ditch themâ
you hesitated before answering
âbut, they're my friends? i can't just ditch them out of nowhereâ
âthey had no problem doing it to youâ
harsh wordsÂ
but heâs right
they didn't have a problem ditching you so maybe tsuki was right
âi don't mind doing a bit of charity work and letting you be with me at schoolâ
âoh? how considerate of my boyfriend, the one whoâs meant to love and be there for me unconditionally! youâre too kind!â
you both snicker at this before he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head
âgo on, leave the group chat... if youâre bad đâ
he gets lowkey excited watching you leave it heâs got a stupid little evil smirkÂ
tsuki may seem like he enjoys conflict and malicious behaviourÂ
but really he just wants to make sure youâre kept away from people who clearly don't value or deserve you
âtheir lossâ he thinks to himself as he pulls you closer
#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#oikawa x you#oikawa hcs#oikawa headcanons#bokuto koutaro#bokuto x reader#bokuto x you#bokuto hcs#bokuto headcanons#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x you#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima hcs#tsukishima headcanons#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu hcs
593 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joining the call, weâre welcomed by the amigops, Brooke, Karl and Bretman.
âSo, everyone, this is my older brother, Dylan!âÂ
âWhatâs up, guys? Nice to meet yâall!â variations of hiâs and helloâs hit our ears all at once.
âHey, Dylan!â Karl chimes after them âGood to see- well, talk to you again, man!âÂ
âOh yeah! Thanks for helping us the other day.â Corpse sounds much more relaxed now - I mean, eveyone does⊠Bottom line is that streaming, however authentic and open you are with your viewers, does put a strain on you, so hearing everyone - myself included - more loose doesnât really come as a surprise.
âYeah, wish I couldâve done more. It sucks that you still lost.â
âHey!â I elbow his side, causing him to dramatically gasp and fake cry and everyone in the call to laugh.
âYeah, about that, you shouldnât mention it around Alex. Heâs still super bitter about it.â I giggle at Karlâs remark and, on cue, none other than Alex joins the voicechat.
We keep chatting as more people join us, introducing themselves to my brother - and Dave to both of us since itâs our first interaction ever. Iâm really intrigued to see how he plays.
Dyl and I have decided to megazord today and play as one - not without some whining from Alex. Heâs claimed it would be unfair and disproportional - even though no one else seemed even slightly bothered by it - and has only agreed with it after Iâd exposed my brotherâs pathetic skills in among us - earning me a glare and a light punch from Dyl - and reminded him of how much better a victory would feel knowing he didnât trick eight people, but nine.
With Tinaâs arrival, we all agree on who will be playing the first round and get the game started. CREWMATE flashes on the screen. Alright, letâs try and stay alive.
Yeah, that didnât work out.Â
For some reason - read: lack of functioning braincellls -, Dyl wanted to do simon says first and, since the universe loves screwing us over, of course Ludwig would walk in and shoot our astronaut just as weâre about to finish the task - after having already failed twice, may I add. Both of us just stop and stare - I, at the ceiling; Dyl, at the white little guy flopped over - before we burst into laughter.Â
âOf course this would happen!â he shakes his head and, being his persistent self, opens the task to start all over.
And just in case youâve ever doubted Murphyâs law, you should definitely reconsider it because guess what happens next: right before Dyl presses the last button, an emergency meeting is called.Â
âAlright, fuckers, who did it? Who would hurt my baby girl Y/N like this?â although I feel very honored to see Brooke defending me with so much passion, I canât contain the giggles that escape my mouth at the contrast between how threatening and intimidating sheâs trying to sound and how she actually sounds.
The meeting is not productive at all. No one is sussed and everyone skips. âDonât worry, D and missy Y/N, weâll get whoever had the audacity to do this. I promise!â Sweet, Bret, sweet!
When âNo one was ejected. (Skipped)â takes over the screen, a low, soft sound fills my ears. However, by the time my brain catches up, the soundâs stopped. Corpse was humming âcheaterâ! Yes, the infamous 2008 nightmare of a song I was stupid enough to share with him!
âDid you show him?â my wide-eyed brother whispers to me. I immediately shush him while muting ourselves at the speed of light. âDylan!â I whisper-shout, turning to face him. This asshole is smirking!Â
I narrow my eyes and furrow my brows, mentally throwing daggers at him and setting his body on fire. I open my mouth, but, before any sound can leave it, a notification pops up: a private message from the one and only boyinaband. A glance at my brother tells me his mind is somewhere else already as he pets Fiyero - I mean, our familyâs never been known for our impeccable attention; who wouldâve expected it to be any different now? -, so I open his message.
hey, y/n!
donât mean to make things awkward at all, but iâd like to thank you for whatever youâve told corpse
yk, he tends to shut off when things get hard, but he reached out the other day for help and company
so thanks
Why is he-? How does he-? What-? IâmâŠ
Has Corpse said anything about me to Dave? Why would he do that?Â
No, no... No, Dave might have just guessed it since Corpse and I are constantly talking
...right?Â
Yes, yes, it has to be it.
oh also, itâs great getting to meet you and play with you!
youâre really cool indeed :)
Y/N: oh thereâs nothing to thank me for, really
but iâm really glad weâve met too!
i love your content btw and youâre funny af
Dave: thx!Â
so itâs lud and...?
he killed me so gracefully idk how to feel
Y/N: jshdfgjhdgfkwfgjewv
fuck idk either
Speaking of imposters, all of our tasks are yet to be done, I should get back to them.
After that round - in which, by the way, Brooke was the other imposter and carried the entire thing after Lud vented in front of Tina, wasnât able to catch her and got ejected -, the afternoon went on pretty smoothly.
Dylan and I arguing every 2 minutes about what strategy we should follow and ending up with a no-strategy approach. Friends killing - and being killed by - friends, lying to friends, throwing friends under the bus⊠you know, very friendly things. Dylan and Bretman basically ignoring everyone else and isolating themselves in their own bubble for half of the time. Everyone just vibing to miscellaneous tunes - from Dolly Parton to Wilbur Soot, from CORPSE to BLACKPINK -, and chatting, laughing and having a good time as Toast had proposed.
Without the distraction of an audience and the pressure of being funny or 666 IQ, I got to actually talk to and learn more about Leslie, Dave - who (I was right) is a sweetheart and with whom I hit it off instantly -, Sean, Toast himself and, well, pretty much everyone.Â
Itâs so crazy how, in a little over one month, you can connect so much with these many people! Some who were complete strangers to you until then and others who you already admired and looked up to⊠and now, you can call them all your friends. Itâs insane!
â§âââ
âââ§âââ
âââ§âââ
âââ§âââ
âââ§
đ bee-girls are ruining my life đ
chapter 12: what friends do
â§âââ
âââ§âââ
âââ§âââ
âââ§âââ
âââ§
Masterlist  Previous  Next
A/N: Hi! I wasnât sure if Iâd post today, but, quite frankly, writingâs the only thing I can get myself to do lately and knowing that there are some people out there who want to read what I have to offer really warms my heart đ€ Sorry for the sappiness and for any typos heheh See you on tuesday hopefully!
Taglist: @callmemaeve-y @victoria-a567 @the-thighs-of-betrayal @tclegane  @hydrate-tion @neenieweenie @clubfairy @cherry-piee @summerbbygirl @officiallyunofficialperson @a-dot-dev @that-chick212â @bellomi-clarke
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi! iâve been so inactive lately and wanted to post something today, and i realized i havenât made an appreciation post for my moots in a hot minuteâso hey hotties, hereâs some cute words about uu. oh and this isnât all of my mutuals, just the oneâs iâve spoken to outside of the discord lol asjfdkl
@hesthermay ââ„ youâre one of my best friends and ilysm and i hope that we get to meet in person one day, so you can endlessly hear me talk about how much i love jimmy woo. also i want to get matching marvel bracelets or smth, gonna look on etsy later for us ajskdlf
@probablydisgusting ââ„ youâre like actually so funny and sweet, whenever you pop in the gc on snap just to say goodmorning or goodnightâit really makes everyoneâs day and we love having you around. plus, you were one of the first people to pop into my inbox when i was an atla blog and i think thatâs so nice.
@imarizaki ââ„ i literaly love you sm mari, like youâre adorable and i want to give you a hug, i feel like you give rlly good hugs. and congrats on 400!! you deserve it and i hope 500 comes rolling around fast so you can hit another milestone in the near future ajskfdl
@tsukishumai ââ„ cam i swear i know your name like I SWEAR I DO! youâre like an older sister to everyone in the discord and you bring such a comforting presence like itâs so nice to have you in the chat whenever you choose to pop in. youâre quite literally the calm to our insanity
@fukurodianthus ââ„ dani youâre asleep rn but when you wake up and see this i want you do know that ily wifey. pls i love it when you harass me in my inbox, i think itâs so funny AND IM GOING TO FLOOD YOURâS EVENTUALLY I JUST NEED TO BECOME ACTIVE AGAIN ASDJKL
@missmorosis ââ„ youâre literally one of my favorite moots ever and youâre always so sweet to me and everyone else around you, itâs so heartwarming to see your positivity and happiness on tumblr and how hard you work! pls ilysm
@ray-ofmoonlight ââ„ I LOVE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE BACHELOR. i havenât responded in a hot minute, but dw iâll answer in a bit i have to go through my messages jaksfld. youâre so nice and fun, and literally the sweetest ever
@diorzumiâ ââ„ hi rheya! iâm so glad you took the time and all that hard work to make the server, like thatâs insane and i still canât believe you did all of that. pls the amount of effort you put into keeping it up is so evident and amazing!! also ur rlly pretty, like RLLY pretty
@luvoikawaâ ââ„ gigi!! my face literally lights up whenever i see you in my notifs or on my dash pls. i love your energy sm and the presence you bring to the discord. like idk, you just seem really cool to me, does that make sense? like you have cool girl energy.
@sugas-cookieâ ââ„ hello rissie. you should be sleeping rn, but ily and youâre my favorite and only child, and no matter what i say i would never bring you back to the ditch. but like...the frogs? i fucking hate the frogs, abolish all frogs they make me physically cringe i cannot.
@kei7imeâ ââ„ CHLOEEE!! every time i see your theme i feel so satisfied, like itâs so pretty it rlly is. youâre so fun and i love talking to you or just popping in your inbox to say hi. omg hi chloe!! ok ok ily
@pxnk-velvetâ ââ„ angie your drawing of us are so cute and i love them sm, and i canât wait to read the story that youâve been writing of our gc as a volleyball team, like pls iâm so excited. also the line âjust shut up already, angieâ lives in my head rent free
@miyaloveâ ââ„ hi dylan! i havenât popped in your inbox in a while but i just wanted to tell you that i love u and youâre so nice and sweet and ilysm. you give off hot girl energy dylan, like for real, you rlly do.
@iwaizoomâ ââ„ HI JADE. youâre so nice and your blog is so pretty, like the light green jaskljl PLS ITS SO PRETTY. i love the vibes you give off like youâre so chill and so easy to talk to sjakljdkl pls ilysm
@kageyujiâ ââ„ lore i love you. like i love you. every time i talk to you i just feel happy like idk itâs this overwhelming feeling, you just have this gift where people feel comfortable when theyâre talking to you. and your blog is so pretty pls asdjl
@hikariakaashiâ ââ„ youâre one of my favorite moots, firstly bc of our interactions on tumblr in the early days of the discord and now on snap too. you have rlly good style, like rlly good styleâand whenever you do your voice asks, your voice is like rlly pretty! girl you have a rlly pretty voice!
@ceci-chanâ ââ„ hi twinnie! pls i think itâs so funny that we have literally the exact same nose, thatâs actually wild. itâs so fun to watch your blog grow and your events are so cute and ily
@nekomabvcâ ââ„ i buried you in here so youâd have to search for your part. literally going to say nothing iâm tired of writing about you goodbye. you called me a whore this morning. thatâs not very swag of you, iâm going to report you to mab and cancel you on corpse tumblr.
@bellesowlâ ââ„ hi isa! we havenât interacted all that much, but in the times we have youâve been so kind. and youâre rlly pretty, just sayin. youâre blog is also super aesthetic and i literally live for it, pls the muted tones are everything ajsdlk
@gellysticksâ ââ„ angela pls youâre actually so funny like youâre so funny. every time your tiktoks come up in my suggested they literally make me laugh plsâbut the frogs are terrible. abort frogs. this is a frog slandering blog. me and all my homies HATE frogs.
@cafemiyaâ ââ„ issy you give off such hot girl energy (and you are a hot girl anyways) and your energy is so contagious, like idk how it just is. you bring this positivity to the discord just by being there and i know everyone is so thankful that youâre so interactive with us jaskfdl
@biqherosixâ ââ„ DANIZA I HAVENâT OPENED YOUR SNAP YET BUT I RLLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR BAND PLAY. pls thatâs literally so cool, like i wish i was in a cool band with my friends jsakdljkl. i love talking to you and weâve been friends for like a good three months now which is crazy
@velvetfireworksâ ââ„ rach i literally never read fics but yours are so good and they live in my head rent free. PLS THE SAKUSA ONE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB AUDHS. youâre so nice and so talented and i reread your masterlist OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THE MOB AU ONE THAT ONE IS PERFECTION.
@hajiswifeâ ââ„ hi gabbie! your blog is gorgeous and your so nice pls!! like i literally canât believe weâre mutuals it hits me like a brick. i love your works and your energy sjaklfdjl iâll probably be popping in your inbox later just to say hi lol
@svgashiâ ââ„ NIKE!!! omg weâre literally sister wives. youâre the first moot i had on tumblr that understood how great sugawara is and itâs like a breath of fresh air from the constant slandering my friends give him. ILY
@sexy-bee-juiceâ ââ„ aja!! i love getting your messages and just saying the most out of pocket things with you, and your reblogs make me laugh so hard like youâre rlly funny. also my broken french is terrible but iâm glad it makes you laugh ajskfdl
@koutarousangelâ ââ„ MICKEY PLS YOURE SO FUNNY. I LOVE YOUR VIBES AND EVERYTHING LIKE YOURE FUNNY. and ily too. just putting that in there in case i havenât said it in a while <3
@hvnlydmnâ ââ„ hi ains! congrats on 5k!! thatâs literally so insane like omg you must be reeling rn jadskfl you really really deserve it tho, everyone sees how hard you work and how much content you produce in such a short amount of time CONGRATS ILY
@akaashi-bbyâ ââ„ victoria you were the first person i talked to teen wolf with in like three years pls. iâm listening to a song from the show atm and itâs making me sad but ilysm and i love talking to you about literally anything
@laineywritesstuffâ ââ„ LAINE!! hi! youâre so pretty like you look like you give the warmest hugs and i feel like if i ever met you in person iâd just get engulfed does that make sense? youâre so nice and ilysm and i hope youâre have a fantastic day!
@kiyoalexâ ââ„ youâre rlly funny. like rlly funny. and i feel like we match each otherâs energy pretty well in pms. pls my insanity is too real back there BUT ITâS OK I THINK BC YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT LOL ILY
@shoutamajikiâ ââ„ hi nana!! youâre so nice and iâm so glad you joined the discord! and iâm so sorry i added you to my terrible private story on snap pls itâs so bad iâm very very sorry about that jksalfjdl
@sunacityâ ââ„ nea i love your works so much like literally they LIVE in my head. youâre so talented and i canât believe weâre mutuals thatâs literally insane bc i love your stuff pls. and on top of being talented youâre so nice, like the nicest jaskdflj i canât
ok ok i think thatâs it for now, this isnât all of my mutualsâbut itâs the oneâs i interact with the most and if we are moots and i didnât include you pls my inbox or pms are always open to just like go insane in. ok have a great rest of your day!!
67 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm sorry if this is a little assholely but after seeing your vent post I went looking for where you said to not tag names and the only place I saw it was at the end of your very long tags,, so assuming i didnt miss another more obvious place...? Have you thought of just putting that in the post itself? Because anyone who's seeing it second hand (as in seeing it after someone else rebloged it) won't see that tag + not everyone reads tags, you know :( sorry that it makes you uncomfortable but if you put it somewhere more visible, like in the body of the post, then at least people def will see it. Sending love either way đ
nahhh nothing to be sorry for issall totally cool and encouraged and you are very kind,, tbh i was lowkey waiting around for something like this and i'm kinda glad for it and also surprised it's not at least fifty times worse??? in all honesty i think i am in dire need and deserving of the hardest dose of criticism at this point for all the stupid messy personal posts i make on a sleep-deprived whim, as i am fully aware that this is not the place for it, and i am and should never be exempt from getting my necessary comeuppance should it arise. and like i said, this quandary was completely of my own fault. i have made my stance on personal comfort posts clear numerous times before and only put them in subtler places like the end of my annoying-ass rambly tags because i really don't wanna bother people with something that sounds so trivially inconsequential, and it makes me incredibly anxious to add them in the post itself (as i reckon it just outright ruins the whole content and that's such a selfish and gross thing for me to do personally,, like who tf am i to ask anything of anyone ech :-/). but this is still my sole responsibility to properly handle and conduct myself online, and i'm so sorry if i came across like i'm attempting to pass the blame for my own self-implicated neglect, as no one else should be subject to dealing with my mistakes. (like no joke i screamed aloud when i read that you looked through my posts or tags??? PLS LICHRALLY NEVER DO THAT EVER THAT'S A VV BAD IDEA ACTUAL ONLINE EQUIVALENT OF DUMPSTER DIVING VIBES EXCEPT THE DUMPSTER'S ON FIRE AND CAUSES MAJOR BRAINROTOFFISITIS!!!!! (;ÂŽàŒàș¶ĐàŒàș¶`))
i've had a well-needed rest hrk composed myself, deleted my prev post (i'm also thinking of removing the post that spurred it just to be sure, t'was super terrible anyway lmao), and muted my notifs for the time being, so please do feel free to tag anything however you wish at this pointâi know i'm making an absolute fool out of myself for this full 180 departure (just in time for april 1st tho so swings and roundabouts-) but yeah that's completely fine idk, and if my walnut brain has anything otherwise to say abt it they will be catching These Hands according to the Fists Of Fury Code!!!!! áŠ(ĂČçżĂłáŠ) but in all seriousness, emotional dysregulation is the absolute worst but i understand that maybe i can't really set boundaries for something fully well out of my control, so i just give up the ghost on this bc what else is there to do. c'est la vie if it sucks for me, tough shit @ self tough it out bebs u asked for this :^) though i hopefully can, however, keep everything else out of sight and out of mind so that i don't have to deal with the self-imposed repercussions by willingly setting my triggers off and lashing out incessantly. like mmm that's toxic shit girlie no one wants that here bls get u some therapy pare *whaps myself with an abaniko fan*. it's 100% on me if i choose to expand the tags on my notifs, and what happens in other ppl's blogs should be none of my fucking business and i'm just a super nosy lurker goblin sometimes ig exhibit a: this is what being a chronic cave hermit does to the human psyche. irreversible damage u.......*steven he voice* EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!!! my sincerest apologies again for all the trouble and i really hope this answer doesn't come off as too sardonic or acerbic or anything of the sort, i know i goof a lot but i really do mean all of it, even if trying to convey appropriate tone indication in text form is so whack đ©
also i'm really sorry for this mf ten-volume novel series of an answer (i really hope no one's insane enough to actually read this....whatever the hell this is .-.). thank you so much for your patience and understanding, and please keep the love and give it to another funky cool blog who's worthy of it and not deserving of getting squished like a pestilent vermin under your steel-toed bootheel!! /lh ~(àźàŻ°àź~) anywayyy let's ignore (slash unfollow hardblock permanent dni etc. etc....very good ideas, those, bc if i could block myself i would without hesitation smh get this chernobyl elephant's foot outta my feed) this and my other inane bullshittery and let bygones be bygones and go back to our silly manband content, shall we??? this blog is for no-braincell shits and pure dumbassery first and foremost i promise......also i have more poorly-made sh!tposts and kendall's pretty grampa face stuff which i wanna plague the btr tag with if that's still allowed pls ÂŻ\_( ͥ° ÍÊ ÍĄÂ°)_/ÂŻ
(^^^ i can't believe i actually got to use this gif for something sdjsfjksd)
#tbh i'm genuinely shocked i'm not getting more hatemail at this point (this is an implicit urge to action!) bc lawd gawd i am obnoxious??#you know when you say things and the moment it leaves your mouth you instantly know that you fucked up??? that is me all the time#i have zero filter and it gets the best of me and i just really need ppl to tell me to shut tf up so this is good. more of this is good#i'll delete this too just so it wouldn't clutter up the feed i'm so sorry ahh ;-;#full disclosure there was another ask regarding this matter that i never answered bc it got washed out of my slow braim and by the time i#remembered it felt too uncomfortably late to respond yk so. i hope this could be some kinda reparation#fr why do i look forward to getting slammed down;;; watching me get my ass kicked is cathartic ngl. painful and tr//um//tic but still >:3#this is what u get allen!!! hoshit here comes the undertaker with a folding chair ready to body avalanche the weak spine outta u hofuckk#i'm rambling nonsense in tags again when this answer already has no right being this long sorry drank too much coffee fushfuahj#anon#all the windows down#do pretty girl don't speak
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
A gentle glow from the computer screen washes over the dark desk, colors flickering in rapid motion. The monitor whirs in self defense of the growing heat. The ceiling fan lays mockingly silent in the stifling air. Reclined in his seat, Dream's head is tilted back to watch the wooden slats for the slightest tremor.
Betrayal.
Beads of sweat collect near his hairline. He tugs absently on the sticky plastic of his headphones, where they rest around his neck. The small light on the exterior blinks green.
"Dream?" He hears George say faintly.
"Wait, did he leave?" Sapnap asks.
"It says he's on the call, still." George's voice slowly grows closer. Dream begins to detach his eyes from the fan. "Dream?"
The concern in his voice makes Dream sit up. He pushes his headphones back on and wipes his face. "Yes, yes, hello, sorry. I zoned out for a sec." He blinks to register what's on his screen, seeing green grass blocks and Sapnap's avatar crouching in front of him. "Shoot, did you end the stream?" He quickly tabs out just in time to see George laugh.
"No, but I'm about to. Couldn't end it without you saying bye," George says. The small considerate act is enough to bloom a warmth in Dream's chest.
He smiles. "Oh, alright. Bye stream!"
"Bye!" Sapnap yells.
George waves to the camera. "Bye you guys, thank you so much. Also, pray for Dream's air conditioning."
"And my broken fan," Dream adds.
"Bye bye," George repeats, then disappears from Dream's view. This stream has ended. A familiar feeling creeps into Dream's chest whenever that message appears post-stream; disappointment clouded with confusion. Today, it is accompanied by trickles of regret.
He frowns. "Sorry I spent so much of your stream complaining about the weather," he says, clicking back to the server. Sapnap has placed an oak sign before him that reads: wee waa dream can't take the heat. He rolls his eyes and breaks it.
"It's fine, really. I just feel bad for you," George says. His avatar bounds over and starts placing doors on the ground. "Any idea when it'll be fixed?"
"Soon, I hope," Dream answers with a huff, opening and closing the doors to appease George. "I don't think I can take much more of this." They'd been playing for the past three hours, meaning Dream had been accumulating enough sweat in his boxers to stick to his chair for much longer than any man should. Physical comfort was a key component for him to stay mellow, and not much could distract him from itchy tags and blistering heat. Not much, that is, besides gaming. "Seeing you was nice, though, something about your cheerful face distracts me from my agony," he confesses, words leaving his mouth before he can attempt to filter. He cringes. What was that?
"Oh my god, shut up," George says. He sounds embarrassed.
Sapnap coos. "Maybe I should stream with my camera on too."
Dream laughs, running away from the two of them to ease his sudden spike in nervousness. "That would keep my attention."
"Oh yeah, are my streams not interesting enough for you Dream?" George says, flying after him.
"What?" Dream says, feeling a pang of guilt. "What makes you think that? I love your streams."
George continues to act offended. "If you loved them you wouldn't zone out randomly."
"I didn't mean to," Dream whines, which only makes the other two laugh. "I just got distracted by my misery, and tried to airbend a breeze in here."
"Yeah right," Sapnap says, "you couldn't have been doing just that for ten minutes."
"Ten minutes?" Dream repeats, bewildered. He didn't feel it had been that long; he was exploring the map and then clicked onto George's stream to see where he was, and of course George was smiling and yelling, but somehow so full of energy and spirit, and the hot air started to seep into Dream's soulâ
"You were AFK for a while," George says, "we were still talking to you though and thought you'd muted yourself or something. Chat thought it was embarrassing."
"Oh," Dream says.
"Hold on, did you mean to mute yourself?" Sapnap asks, laughing as his own words leave his mouth. "Lil too excited watching George?"
Both Dream and George explode in disgusted yells. Good lord, Sapnap.
"Sapnap!" George sends a series of hits raining down onto his avatar. "You are so inappropriate off-stream."
"You're gross," Dream says with a laugh, but it's feeble and half-hearted. His pulse is rapidly drumming inside his skull. He is not lost to the strange dilemma of why he faded from their call for so long to stare at his George-less ceiling. Why did George have anything to do with it? Envy, perhaps, of his friend's ability to be wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer. He brushes it off. "It's true, though. George's face does get me excited."
George groans, making Sapnap and Dream laugh. "Now you're just trying to make me uncomfortable."
"Flustered, you mean," Dream inputs quickly.
"Okay, no, I'm sick of you two," George says, immediately exiting their server. "Consider this a rage quit."
GeorgeNotFound has left the game. Dream sends a :( into the chat.
"Noo, Georgie," Sapnap pleads.
"You did a great job today," Dream says, wholeheartedly. "I'm going to re-watch what I missed of it later." George laughs.
"I seriously have to go. I'll talk to you soon," he says, a small sound emitting from Discord signifying he's left the call.
The feeling returns to Dream's chestâit's akin to the cold rush that follows when he removes his hands from a steaming coffee mug. Some nights after their friends have logged off for good, he'll do anything to avoid giving in and going to bed. Twitter, mini-games, coding, creating playlists. His favorite nights, though, are when George wakes up early enough to keep him company. Their conversations radiate with the warmth of both the Florida night and the English sunrise.
So whenever George jokingly becomes angry with him, Dream can't dispel the tiny tremor of worry that maybe he's gone too far. He doesn't like to mull over the thought of them really fighting; it would terrify him like nothing else. He knows George will call again tomorrow, and that he isn't nearly as upset as he lets on. Yet he still finds himself carefully watching the dot next to George's name switch from green to a pale grey.
"I think I'm gonna hop off too," Dream says to Sapnap.
"Alright, seeya."
After disconnecting, he swivels around in his chair to face his bed. The dark comforter has been kicked to the floor, sheets askew. The window above his bed is shut tight to keep out the humid air and insects, but he can see the soft orange streetlights in the distance.
He sighs and wishes for rain.
He remembers running barefoot on his neighborhood streets as a child when storms would roll in from the sea, splashing in gravelly puddles and letting the cool raindrops dampen his hair. That space was always euphoricâa brief temperance from the smoldering air, green palm trees swaying in the wind, the hint of thunder and lightningâbut it feels so far from him now. Especially in this dreadful weather.
He turns off his computer and begrudgingly gets in bed. He's nearly grown accustomed to the dark when his phone vibrates, the notification lighting up the room. He squints.
A text from George.
I feel like this song is a good way for me to get back at you, it reads. Dream clicks on the link, opening his Spotify to a new 'Glass Animals' song.
"Heat Waves," he responds, smiling. Very funny.
He'll listen to that in the morning. As he sets his phone back on the nightstand, Dream finds himself warmed by the gesture, even though it was an insult on his behalf. George is a thoughtful guy. Nothing wrong with appreciating that. Not that Dream finds it unnerving that interacting with George has a direct correlation with his general contentment and moods; in fact, it isn't worth the overthinking.
Settled by his own logic, he allows his body to focus on sleep. He slips in and out of shadows, occasionally tossing and turning in irritation at the cotton sheets. The fabric clings to his dampened skin up to the moment he sluggishly kicks it away. Something clatters to the floor, but Dream rolls onto his side.
Eventually, the night cools enough for him to sink deeper, and deeper, until he turns his head from his soft, warm pillow to a cold pile of sand.
Confused, he grasps at the foundation beneath him only for the rocky grains to slip through his fingers.
He sits up rapidly, glancing at the beach now surrounding him. Although the image is narrow, he can tell there is a murky-purple lagoon lapping a few feet before him. The moon ripples across its ominous surface. The night is quiet; a taunting breeze brushing the back of his neck and bringing chills down his spine.
He looks down at his hands, seeing his bright sleeves pushed halfway up his forearms. Bright green.
A sinking feeling begins to rot in his stomach as the familiarity sets in. He's been here before. He shifts his head cautiously, realizing where the shadows at the edge of his vision are coming from, and raises a hand to gently graze the ceramic covering his face. He doesn't need a mirror to know what the mask looks like.
He pulls up his hood, tensing as he anticipates the next subject he'll recognize. At any moment, behind his right shoulder, a voice will call from the edge of the trees that'll sayâ
"Dream?"
He freezes. That'sâthat's not right, it isn't supposed to beâ
"George?" He asks quietly, turning around with caution. George stands a few feet behind him, goggles perched atop his head and an axe in his hand. He's looking around their location, dazed. The starry sky reflects itself on his lenses.
He walks across the sand towards Dream slowly. "Where...are we?"
"Um." Dream considers curling in on himself, but can't help fighting the comfort of honesty. "My head, I guess." He knows from experience that this place values integrity more than anything. Facing it head on, so to speak. He just doesn't know why he'd let George in hereâit isn't safe.
"It's pretty," George says, sitting on the sand next to him.
Dream's heart aches faintly at his remark. Once, he'd thought it was pretty, too. He can't find the words to tell George that after so many years of frantically slipping on the sand, coughing up lung-fulls of the dark water, and running from the woodsâit has become a thing of nightmares.
He stares at George. Can he feel the memories here?
"So this is..." George gestures around with his axe vaguely. "Florida?"
Dream cracks a smile. "Yeah, you finally made it," he teases softly. George's grin is bright enough to make him look away. "It's a lagoon I used to come to as a kid."
"You make it sound like that was lifetimes ago."
Something foreign and lost weighs on the tension in Dream's features, forgotten behind the ceramic. "Maybe," he says, "I've had multiple lives here."
George says nothing. He lifts a moon-soaked hand to point at the water. "Do you see those?"
Dream turns his head, and small glowing blobs appear near the shore. Their light blue color is stark against the darkness as they float idly.
"They're moon jellies," Dream says in disbelief. He's never seen them here before. The curling darkness steals all hint of life besides him, his beating heart, and occasional whispers in the wind.
George hums in approval. Dream looks at him again, grateful for the mask covering his own features. Pale moonlight makes George's skin glow a soft porcelain, pink lips pressed together in a delicate brush stroke.
The word bubbles up from deep in Dream's chest, winding into his bloodstream and landing gracefully in his head.
Beautiful.
He wants to back away from it, to shove it deep down. But for once, it feels safe here, safe to admit it to himself without needing an air of humor to skate by on. Here, it isn't a joke.
"Why are we here?" George asks in a murmur, gaze lifting to face Dream. The word here hangs with a heavy lilt, as if he'd meant to say, what brought me? Who pulled me?
Was it you?
In his large brown eyes Dream can see the faded reflection of his sloppy black and white smile.
"I know why I'm here," Dream says carefully, "but I don't know why you are." A brief rustling of leaves and twigs behind them causes him to tense again. "It's dangerous here, George. We should go."
"Why? Don't you want to stay in this memory?"
Dream ignores the comment, and lightly wraps an arm around his shoulders to help him up. George doesn't try to stand. He keeps them rooted to the white shore with a confused frown.
"Nothing is going to hurt us when I'm here," he says.
Dream feels his face grow hot. "Knock it off. This is serious."
George looks at him earnestly. "I'm being serious."
Now that his arm is draped protectively over George's small frame, Dream becomes extremely aware of how close they are. He can sense George's body heat, watch his chest rise and fall, see the goosebumps on his neck. Dream's heart begins to pound. For how long has he wanted to meet him? To hear his voice in person? The fear inside him slowly begins to ebb away into fondness.
The moon jellies rapidly multiply until the lagoon is dappled blue, and gleaming.
George grins. "I told you it's pretty."
"Because of you," Dream says warmly. Even though George rolls his eyes, he means it. They laugh lightly at each other, glowing water and gentle sparks blooming as the moment passes.
George's gaze lingers on Dream for a few heartbeats, before letting go of his axe. He raises his hand to reach for the ceramic mask.
Dream freezes as his eyes follow the motion. His hood falls when George runs his fingers gently through his wavy hairâhe can't remember the last time he let someone do this. It feels intimate. It feels terrifying. His eyes shut when George finds the metal clasp on the back of his head, he exhales when he feels the weight of the mask drop from his face.
The breeze is cold on his cheeks. He can smell the nearby saltwater. He opens his eyes, and sees twice as many stars as usual.
"How did you do that? I've never..." He looks at George, who is smiling softly.
"I know honesty is important to you," George says. His hand moves to gently touch Dream's cheekbone.
Dream reaches and delicately takes George's hand in his, slender knuckles and fingers sliding together with timid grace. He feels alive. He leans closer, studying George's eyes until he slips down, further, to his soft lips. His breath is trembling.
"And what if I kissed you right now?" He murmurs, heart racing. "How honest would that be?"
George's eyes grow wide. "Iâwell, Dreamâyouâ" he stammers, giving Dream exactly what he needs to let go.
Their movements happen nearly all at onceâthe inclining of George's jaw, the slide of Dream's hand into his hair, the connection of their lips. The kiss is raw with emotion, and gentle. Hot embers rise from Dream's chest to heat his face. The soft presence of George's mouth against his own is surreal, as their senses collectively slip away into the dreamland. His hand rises to softly cup George's jaw. He pulls his face closer, breath hot, heart stuttering. Nervous energy quickly ebbs into a strong hearth of longing, as he kisses George again, and again, and again. George emits a soft noise that makes Dream melt. He can feel George's hands in his hair, then on his neck, then on his chest.
Dream pulls away to capture brief puffs of air. His chest rises and falls rapidly, as he looks at George's flushed cheeks and mouth kissed red. Because of him. A low feeling stirs in the space just below his ribcage, the first flickering of a dangerously hot flame. All of it, all of George, just for him.
Dream parts his lips to say something, anythingâand promptly wakes up.
I have heatwaves saved on my computer it doesn't phase me anymore I've read this several times you can't hurt me with this
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
I know we talked about this kinda way back, but I would consider selling a piece of my soul for an official zoom class drabble with Lucas, please and thank you â€đ -đ»
ASKJDAHGL SUNNY IâM SO SORRY I NEVER GOT TO WRITING THIS, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS AN APOLOGY <3
3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and  Iâll write a drabble for you!
~
Title: Zoom Gone Wrong With Lucas Wong
Pairing: Lucas x fem!reader
Triggers: none
~
Lucas Wong, for the first time (well, not really, but heâs not going to get into that) in his entire life, has no idea what to do.Â
Seriously. He knows other people are suffering far more than he is and he tries to feel grateful for what he still has, but for an extrovert who literally relies on people to give him energy, this feels like torture. The pandemic has sent his life to shit - online classes, virtual club meetings, being forced to stay inside for days at a time.Â
And worst of all, the virus decided to hit literally days before he was getting ready to ask you out.Â
âThere are so many other things to be pissed about, and youâre hung up over this?â Hendery asks, poking his head out from the kitchen to see Lucas lying facedown on the apartment floor, limbs outspread like a pancake. âOh, God, dude, get up. The floorâs disgusting.â
Lucas lifts his face, just barely. âBut Henderyyyyy,â he whines, âsheâs so sweet! And awesome! And the pandemic stole my entire chance at asking her out!â
âDo you not have her number?â Hendery closes the fridge.Â
Lucasâs face plants back into the floor.Â
âYou absolute mess.â Footsteps vibrate next to his head, and then Hendery sits down, patting Lucasâs hair. âJust ask her out over zoom. Itâs the best you can do beyond sending an email, which is infinitely worse.â
Lucas rolls over, a new light in his eyes. âHendery, youâre a genius.â
âYeah, I get called that a lot.â He gets up, presumably to go back to his room.Â
âWhat, a genius?â Lucasâs eyebrows crinkle in disbelief.Â
âNo, Hendery.â
So he started off by holding up signs when the two of you were on the same zoom page. If youâre on the same page as he is, he reasons, you would see the sign saying âY/N, will you go on a date with me?â that he puts up every time the professor turns around. But besides garnering a few very visible laughs (and audible, sometimes - one person forgot to mute themselves, so the professor turned back and Lucas had to put the sign down real quick), you donât seem to notice anything, always looking up at the wrong time.Â
(No one even bothers to tell you whatâs going on. Haechan, the sophomore in his class, tells him all of his classmates have a group chat where they collectively agreed not to tell you anything just to see when youâll actually notice. Lucas would beg for your number, but youâre not in the chat, so Haechan doesnât have it.
And even if he did, as Haechan said, he wouldnât give it to Lucas anyway.
Theyâre out to ruin his life.)
Then Yangyang informs him of the private chat feature on zoom (âLucas, I thought you were, like, a millennial, but turns out youâre just a boomerâ). After a week of no putting signs up (much to the disappointment of his classmates), he sends you a private chat message asking if you want to go out for coffee or something after you can actually go outside.Â
He thinks heâs really slick until he gets a message back from the PROFESSOR telling him that all private chats go to HIM and warning him to please pay attention in class.Â
Lucas turns his camera off for the rest of the lecture so he can scream into his pillow loudly enough that Hendery comes running in, sure heâs being hacked at by an axe murderer.Â
Exactly one sign gets put up over the next week, mostly to make himself laugh slightly, but also to give his classmates some tiny measure of entertainment (look, Introduction to the Korean Language is not a very scintillating class, and Lucas takes his position as class clan very seriously). NEOMU LONELY is written in huge block letters on an A-sized sheet of paper.
Several people start visibly choking on camera. A snort sounds just barely before the students mutes themselves. Lucas smiles - at least some people are enjoying the spectacle, even if they arenât you - and then, by some god damn miracle, you look up.Â
The way your eyes crinkle as you start laughing is magical. Lucas thinks his heart is melting out of his body even though the image of you is grainy, under weird lighting, and overall just downplays your beauty to the greatest extent (though you still look cute, which Lucas finds somehow impossible - are you God?).Â
Then the professor turns around and he has to put the sign down fast.Â
For another week, Lucas debates what the hell to do. Nothing heâs done on Zoom has worked, and no one will give him your number (heâs tried asking several times - they all want to see how this plays out). Finally, on the second to last week before the semester ends, Lucas does what Hendery told him not to do.Â
He sends you an email.Â
(Heâs not a stalker. He gets it from the mailing list for this class.)
Itâs a long email, stupidly long, filled with Lucas rambling about anything and everything he finds cute or sweet or lovely about you. He almost chickens out and doesnât press send, but his finger like... spasms or something on touchpad of his laptop and the email yeets into cyberspace, hopefully to your inbox.Â
He waits several long hours for any email back. Hendery comes in at one point to steal Lucasâs phone charger and asks what the hell heâs doing, looking so jumpy. Lucas just says âI sent her an email.â
Hendery hits him. âYou fucking idiot.â
Then, finally, a notification pops up that heâs got a new email from you. With shaking fingers, Lucas opens it.Â
And he screams with joy when he sees that youâve accepted his offer for a coffee date (though maybe a few Zoom dates will occur before that, you say, because the pandemic doesnât seem to want to end anytime soon).
(Lucas totally rubs this in Henderyâs face the next day, saying that everything he said to do didnât work and that the only thing he said not to do did.Â
Hendery just groans and flops to the floor.)
#starryktown#nct#wayv#nct scenarios#wayv scenarios#nct u#nct oneshots#nct imagines#wayv oneshots#wayv imagines#nct u scenarios#nct lucas#wayv lucas#lucas#fluff#drabble#university!au#zoom gone wrong with lucas wong#3 year anniversary drabble game#lina answers#scriptura-delirus
61 notes
·
View notes