#i love pretending to be educated 😌

[scarefox]

This is a whole ramble but there is a theme in there (for fun and giggles)

I sometimes have to think about the whole "petplay" / master-servant game Gun has going on with some of the GMM guys (Tay and Joss, officially but he probably has some of the others joined too). It's just so damn wild and funny. And everyone is pretending like that's just the most normal thing besties do. I mean sure why not but also 😏 Just them taking turns in being the others obedient cute pet-servant for one day, while he calling him "his pet" and treats him like a pet (and that outside of cameras and fanservice stuff, they do that in their private time mainly. just dragging it out in the open occasionally). I love that for them 👌

OG Fun Night S1Ep3

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... hmmm 😏

yea that's more likely

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THE WHOLE ENTIRETY OF FUN NIGHT S2EP7 is just damn wild where they compete to be Guns number 1 pet, winning a freaking collar of all things! While talking about the drama "3 Will Be Free" (which is literally a canon polyamory drama with Tay, Joss and Mild)

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also that TayGun date special

But Off is always like "You guys have fun but leave me out of that nonsense" 🙅‍♂️ whenever Gun asks him to join the pet poly circle....

BUT isn't he basically Guns first "pet" before Tay even?! Guns nickname for him is literally Papii... which I first thought means "dad" (or daddy if you will 😏) but someone once educated me that it means "puppy". Because of their first drama together "Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey".

So what I am trying to say here is: Off you lost that fight already years ago!! You have been Guns doggo all along!! lol

(but that's fine, he just doesn't want to mingle with the others 😌)

It's tragic, there once was a compilation of all the Tay and Gun pet moments (+ trust falls) with parts of an interview where Tay explains his side. And the MC was shook like "And you just let him treat you like a pet??" and Tay all shy and giggly "Yea, it's just a thing between us. I don't even know why. I went with it" 🤷‍♂️ And that he thinks that Gun is the most powerful guy in whole GMM. (A+ video.. why did they take that from us)

Yall don't understand how neat the whole OffGunTay(New) and Gun swinger / poly dynamic is. Alone for the fact that they don't care for the strict exclusive ship rule where they can only be touchy with their on-screen partner. But Gun is touchy and playful with every GMM guy and that's fine and neat af (even tho they all mainly stay in their official ship constellation as well). Meanwhile there are still so many couple themed ship war fanvideos from fans out there about which couple would be most likely real and which one will sink: OffGun or TayGun 🙄 Like bruh, everyone is Guns pet or cuddle buddy, what are yall not getting? OffGunTay(New + others) love and cherish each other (in whatever way that is does not matter). And Tay AND Off and even New encouraging Gun getting cuddly and kissed by other guys. Off and Tay are literally that "You are doing great sweety" meme when Gun has fun with others. Off being jealous is literally just a playful running gag.

I swear most BL fans are way too innocent and stuck with the oldschool relationship style for this awesome GMM (friend)ship dynamic they are playing with here...

Like look at this pile of TayGunNew while Off takes a photo

I don't know why this post turned from the petgame thing to OffGunTay & GMM polycule but it's basically the same ven diagram. Just everyone gets kisses, flirts and cuddles. As they should.

But it does not have to be the one ship over the other. Each of them literally has two hands 😌

holding hand throuple style 😌

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

Anyways.... A poly drama with them when?? Didn't P'Jojo say he wants to do a drama with Gun but doesn't know what theme? (P'Jojo who did "3 Will Be Free" with Joss and Tay already). Here! This? ✨

EDIT: I had to ad this

[ev1llesb1an]

Documentation of my comphet throughout the years 🧍‍♀️

Okay so I thought it’d be funny to talk abt my most intense male fixation eras as a lesbian (idk i’m just shitposting into the void again) judge me all u want (it is probably needed) but i need ppl to understand the real me 🙏

IT CROPPED HALF HIS FACE OUT but i just realised if you aren’t british ur gonna have no idea who he is anyone (he’s lachlan white from emmerdale) omg this was an ERA everyone around me thought i was going insane (i was) but like they just didn’t get it he slayed so hard at a level that will never be reached (literally) also tom atkinson on sex education was like a full circle moment for me omg but anyways i was like 11-12 here these were literally my formative years this changed me FOREVER don’t judge he slayed omg

THIS okay so u can’t even blame me for this one it’s just correct. yes he’s like walking masculinity stereotype BUT he also had depth and was interesting 😌 the fanfics were SO GOOD this is when i really got into fanfiction and accidentally read smut where someone get pregnant in the hunger games 🧍‍♀️i read this one fic that was like x reader AND THEY STRAIGHT UP BOTH DIED but anyways. i read fanfics abt literally everyone thg character (read abt women and convinced myself i was still straight lmfao) but he was the stand out for me. i recently revisited this era and the fics ppl write on ao3 r INSANE omg like what is wrong with u ppl ( i say this lovingly but also wtf )

OMGOMGOMG BEST ERA OF MY LIFE u actually don’t understand u just had to be there. a solid percentage of my brain even to this day is made up of this man. this is like the stupidest thing ever but when i was like 14 i would just mirror his personality (and tone down the arsehole part obvs) so that i could get more talkative AND IT ACTUALLY WORKED nobody in the whole world will ever understand how much he means to me (i don’t rly understand it myself tbh) and ik ppl literally fuckinf despise him but i will not tolerate the dandy mott slander bc he is literally part of my core identity atp i revisit him every few months just to fully reconnect with my inner being. did anyone read Companion? that shit was crazy also i wrote a fic abt him on wattpad and people actually READ IT so anyways best era of my life it truly never got better i rly hit me peak (i had 0 friends) the few friends i had literally told me i talked abt him too much and it made them like me less 💀

this was arguably my most chill era like yea i was pretty obsessive but with marvel it’s so normalised to be so intense abt everything i kinda just fit right in. there’s too much professor fanfiction r u ppl okay 🧍‍♀️ also more actor fanfiction than i have ever seen for any other man in my LIFE but the capitalism went hard during this era the fluff was so good. arguably my most comforting era? idk i can’t rly explain that one

okay so these two r kinda completely different but also (for obvious reasons) the exact same. gotham was my most openly gay era and for that i will forever be grateful HOWEVER the kristen kringle haters were doing WAY TOO MUCH like she’s already dead why u doing her like that constantly (u will see this sentiment echoed later abt someone else hmmm i wonder who) but yea and then YES i was a paul dano lesbian (literally wasn’t out as lesbian at this point lmao) honestly this is probably the era my friends hated the most they would either awkwardly pretend to agree/care abt the shit i was saying or straight up tell me i was delusional 💀 my friends even now still call it my worst era but i LOVED IT kinda solidified my position at the bottom of the hellish secondary school hierarchy but i still had a good time. the paul dani riddler fanfics r next level tho the way ppl would just post STALKER fics constantly with like zero warnings and it was never labelled as yandere 🧍‍♀️i also got in an argument with a writer on wattpad bc they made the riddler and the oc have like a 6 year age gap and they met when she was 10 and he was like 16 💀 other than that good vibes all round

tbh this era was pretty brief i can’t fully explain what happened here like the vibes were immaculate but also insane WHY IS THERE SM YANDERE FANFIC peter parker is so nice but then in fanfics it’s like 👹 but i rly like spider-man HOWEVER this then led me to my final destination on the comphet journey…

omg were finally at the final stop the peak of comphet ( i came out as lesbian within this era ) arguably not my finest hour bc i swore i would never watch criminal minds bc the number of seasons is WAY TOO MUCH but here we are i watched it bc i read too much fanfic abt this man. i have lots of criticism for the fandom but he in himself is acc a rly good character. this was supposed to be like my ethical era but he’s acc killed like a bunch of ppl and thomas gibson is MESSY (don’t cancel me pls i say that lovingly 🫶) the haley hotchner misogyny nearly killed me off i don’t think i’ve ever been so miserable in a fandom and the fanfics kinda take feminism back a few hundred years but pretty good besides that

anyways there is my brainrot i hope the two (at most) ppl who will read this enjoyed 🫶 LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO im gonna say i posted this in honour of international lesbian day even tho that was several days ago

[lesbienneanarchiste]

basic summary/context for prisca's story/character? i've pieced together little bits from tags but not a ton!

SO. Prisca Secunda my beloved, she was once a midwife's apprentice in 152 BCE Rome and her besties were her mentor Agrippina and her older sister Prima. This guy Marcus starts courting the very beautiful Prima and he is very very wealthy and has the favor of a gaggle of Senators so this would be an excellent match for Prima except that there's just something off abt him so even their dad is like, "please just marry a nicer boy from our neighborhood even if he is less rich bc that guy Marcus creeps me tf out". Marcus doesn't take well to Prima's rejection and keeps harassing her so Prisca finally stands up to him on her sister's behalf and turns out he's been a vampire the whole time and he turns her into one too and then fucks off, leaving Prisca to figure out what's happened to her and how to survive. Because she has no idea abt anything and is basically working off newly developed instincts, she accidentally turns both Prima and Agrippina into vampires as well and Marcus shows up again like "hm I feel bad, maybe you should come with me to Gaul and I'll teach you how to be good vampires :)" and then the carnage really kicks in bc he is not a good person at all and they all end up having this weird fucked up unhealthy codependent dynamic that lasts until the late 1700s when they finally murder-suicide their way into being at peace 😌

That is theeee most basic of explanations but the like. Core things I'm really interested in are: where humanity begins and ends, what isolation and desperation and trauma will do to fuck up how you relate to the people around you, what happens when you don't choose to be the bigger person, how immortality warps your sense of life and time, and also what happens when you take people's good qualities and scale them up so high they become incredible flaws. E.g. Prisca values information and is somewhat arrogant about her knowledge and education so at one point in the middle ages she burns down an abbey bc they won't allow her to access their library and if she can't read the texts, no one should. Prima as a human was very driven by love and wanted to have a big happy family so as a vampire, she kills all her lovers when she starts to feel like they don't love her obsessively enough. Etc.

It's also about like. Things could have been good. Or at least better. But their only lifeline was Marcus and he shaped them in his fucked up image so even centuries after Prisca finally kills him, he is still haunting the narrative with every bad decision Prisca, Prima, and Agrippina make. But at the same time, they are the ones making those decisions and how long can you blame the circumstances of your "birth" before it just becomes you refusing to break the cycle of trauma and abuse? How long can you pretend your obsessive need to control the people you claim to love is actually about the love and not about the control?

It's all told as Prisca's memoirs with some brief interludes from Prima and Agrippina's persepectives and I'm obsessed with them 😌❤️

[beesonjupiter]

live commentary, as i experience moonlight chicken for the first time ep3

I am back, didn't take the nap i said i was going to take, instead looked at han jisung tweets, rested and ready to watch episode three.

dang, you can even see jim's car in the picture for the area where the demolition is to take place

I'm in ep3 and i still haven't seen first, which is sick and twisted for me personally as i was put on this earth to witness first existing. I'm a first stan first and a human being second

Wen pretends he does not see😌

Li ming forgetting heart can't hear him 🥺

/thank you for trying to speak with me/ you might as well could have come up to me and stab my spleen, oh god they're so cute

not them not showing us the conversation i also want to know what they wrote down 😮‍💨

Officer, jim and his ex are very cute together wtf😭 they're so cute wtf, i actually might prefer them to jimwen??????????? And the cat??? Oh god i could die they're so cute

Oh, never mind, he cheated, they were so cute tho shcjskcnsncj

Chicken Stranger 💯

Uncle jim is kind of starting to get on my nerves, but i get where he's coming from

Gaipagaipagaipagaipa, head empty just gaipa

If jim's 73, how old is gaipa

I think khao's going bald 😨

At this point i think i like everyone more than jimwen, because jimgaipa is kind of very cute????? I need more jimwen screen-time

Jim's just going through it

As someone with a degree in education, what is fine arts, what does it mean, what do y'all do?

driving a scooter sadly

li ming's getting good at sign language 🥲🥲

Heart ur so dumb baby, you already got in trouble for this once and you want to do it again? I foresee another trouble because of this

Wait is wen's father mr. Sakda? Let me go check mydramalist. He's not. They're different people.

My drunk babies 🥺

Wait, they're not drunk, they had like 3ml from the bottle, they're just cute 😭

A pinky promise? They make me sick

Did jim give wen li ming's flower float?

I am unwell. I'll have to watch tharntype to bring some toxic energy back into my life because heart and li ming are going to kill me

I am kidding about tharn type by the way, i absolutely hate it and i think anyone who even remotely liked their relationship should deeply self reflect, but that's another topic for another post

There was another phone on that shelf, are we about to see alan?

chanting maniacally - ALAN ALAN ALAN ALAN ALAN ALAN

He's so pretty oh my god

I love how the most replayed part of this episode is the appearance of alan, we're all the same

thoughts and opinions - alan🥰

[wandamaximoffbae]

I would be happy to give you an education lol most of my knowledge is of the arsenal players though as they're who I support but I do love others and I like watching man city women, they're decent. Plus Lauren Hemp is my all time favourite and she plays for city so I have to watch for her lol. I've actually met some of the man city girls but Hempo unfortunately was not one of them 🥲 think id die on the spot if I met her though tbh 😂 wait you came to Manchester last year? You deffo need to come down here and go and arsenal Vs man city women's game with me! 👀 Full of drama lol, look up highlights from the man city Vs arsenal women's fa cup game from this year. I went to see it in person and it was literally just Katie McCabe getting into shoving matches with Chloe Kelly and Lauren Hemp. My favourite bit was when Katie shoved Hemp off the pitch then tried to body barge her again so when Hempo gave her a nudge off her she pretended to go flying onto the floor 🤣

I think I would die if I met any woman of their physical stature 😂🫶🏼

I did come to Manchester! It was winter so the weather wasn’t great, but if there was a game in the summer I’d consider it! Maybe make it a family trip 😂

I will for sure watch the video tonight, and I lll let you know when I do and what I think of it!! I love me some recommended entertainment 😌

[starlightkun]

https://twitter.com/smoldejuns/status/1706302164061262004?s=19

ASS HOLE KUN? KUN WITH ASS HOLE JEANS?! LOWER ASS CHEEK?!

i do think holes in jeans like right below the ass cheeks is really cute (especially on girls 🫣🤪) and thats what i thought this was gonna be cause i read the tweet before looking at the images but the way people are like SIR WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES when its just the back of his thigh is really funny to me. the gentle teasing reminds me of marks "not-ripped" white pants as well lmao

also NO we are not tired of the stargazing dates they're so romantic and sweet and genuine i feel very strongly about this

also i do agree now thinking about it that dryad hyuck would be so tired after strawbs sunday woo and pupsick jeno AND tdhea jisung that the moment y/n or sungchan even TRY pretending to be oblivious hyuck is pulling out a gun

also “there’s so little literature on half-werewolves, it’s a fascinating opportunity to get hands-on experience and research— hey taro why are you running away i haven’t even told you about my thesis question yet” has me CACKLING omg. theres so many opportunities with mcs student characters and their magic s/os for them to have the most uncomfortable conversations about their s/os "anatomy😏😏😏" under the guise of education with their friends. or for like drmagic, i just thought of renjun straight up sniffing reader to see if he can smell any salt or fishiness (like when renjun sniffed jeno and asked if he put on a new cologne and jeno went "its the scent of my flesh" or that other time renjun sniffed hyuck and asked if he had samgyeopsal) and reader being really fucking offended by it (cause rival dynamics yaknow) and slapping him for girlboss reasons

im also really excited for phantasmagorical now that youve been hyping it up! no hurry of course but i didnt know what to expect from the short description in your masterlist. that and the fact that ive buried myself face first into the strawbs sunday universe for the past 2 months

im so glad i made you laugh with my loserboy sungchan impression! i hope you're having a good day lovely!!!!!

-✨anon

not my mans whorin himself out out here and then being offended when we notice 😭😭 like bestie what did you expect when u posed like that in those pants and posted it for NCTZENS(WEISHENNIES). also my eye is twitching rn btw . having a not fine and so unchill time in my office at work currently looking at this pic. u send this to me and expect me to??? send emails after this??????

also ur "especially on girls 🤪" a fellow women enjoyer i see 😌💅

n there's somethin abt stargazing dates that just get me ok 🤧 like wanting to share the universe w someone 🤧🤧 makes me bawl like a baby idk what to say 🤧🤧🤧

and not renjun just sniffing all of his friends constantly 😭😭 he keeps track of the lunar cycle in his phone for jeno but one day pupsick mc is out of town so jeno was seeking out head scratches from other sources n renjun gets a sniff in and is like???? ur woodsy already?? but the full moon isnt for another week? and jeno is like "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK GET OFF ME" (in reality jeno was laying on renjun's lap but yknow) but rlly jeno was just angsty from missing pupsick mc so it was moving his pre-shift up (pupsick mc comes back in a couple days so the guys dont have to deal w a pupsick jeno again, thank god)

strawbsunday universe renjun confirmed weirdo but nobody is surprised. also. he would kind of be into it if dr.magic reader slapped him im not sorry that IS canon

and i DO need to update that description of phantasmagorical on my mlist now that i've got a better handle on the plot than before lmao

im having a great day, i hope u r too b <33

[casuallivi]

I got you good in the beginning, huh?!

Elain is climbing up the walls!!! Honestly, I can't tell who's directing more heart eyes at Az, Elain or her kitty... My girl enjoys the deed, and going from self-pleasure to the prospect of having an entire Azriel at her disposal??? Well, that does things to her lady-bits and her naughty cells.

TMI TIME: Yep, her last boyfriend was Graysen, the ass! They had good bedroom chemistry, but you know those men who put their woman down to feel good? Who tell you, you look ugly in certain clothes? that no one will ever want you but him? tells you to loose weight and fix things about your appearance all.the.freaking.time? who slut shames you in front of his friend? Then you want to break up, and they beg on their knees for you to stay, promising you roses and diamonds and changes? apologizing through post-argument-sex? Well, that was her last relationship. Az and Lainey are coming from relationship where sex was used as a weapon. Elain had time to process and heal, therefore she feels more prepared to get back in the sheets, hence the out of control fantasies. Poor Az is still fresh from his terrible manipulative train wreck, all the making out is a huge step for him, who did not expect to feel attracted by another woman so soon (or ever). There's a key moment that got him to notice Elain 😏 then he kept noticing her 😌 his kiss wasn't so out of the blue as Lainey thinks 🤭My boy hasn't enjoyed intimacy in a long time, so he is slowly reconnecting with it. But I fear that her-who-should-not-be-named coming back can disrupt his evolution…

For your questions: Az is more subtle about his prying, she barely notices when he does it 😈😜 Crush-land is composed by so many unnamed and forgettable dudes; a pretty waitress, a well-mannered valley, an educated model, a flirty staff, they come and go, and the only requisite to become one is having a quality she liked in the moment 😂😂😂 I don't have plans to bring Graysen (or the sisters) in the picture, I don't have time to dive into a more complicated plot😅😅 Her current "ex" is Cass, and his, Mor, so every chess piece is already here. At end of the day, they are secondary characters, very meddlesome SC.

PS: 😭🤩💖😍✨💍🎇

this comment made me so so so happy, because everything I wanted was to create a relationship from "hate" to love in a gradual manner. The story technically starts midway through, right? I tell you Elain is a die-hard Cass lover and a die-hard Az hater, but why? What made two man, who have the same DNA, so different in her eyes? Now you have me, hacking my brain to show you why she fell for Cass, not for Az, while simultaneously showing the gradual changes in their dynamics, the ways elriel are warming up to each other, and how this crazy arrangement is helping them to heal from previous shitty relations and unattainable crushes.

It’s a crazy race, but I’m happy with how is turning out 🥺💖😍✨ I reread the chaps last week (because if you don’t indulge in your own writing, who will?) and had so much fun! Having people to gush about it doubles it!!!!

Thnx for the feedback love! You already know about my rambling tendencies, so I won’t even bother pretending to apologize for the big reply. It is what it is 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The Midnight Kiss

Azriel took a hike this chap 😬😬 his inner thoughts were secluded from me😓😓 Fear not, Elain had no problem in blabbing for three two . Enjoy your Elain-fest, i guess… Adopte an author today, and win the privilege of helping to keep the flame alive! See ya 😻😽

Enjoy. Comments are welcomed and cherished :)

Part 6: In need of a Scotty to beam her up

Hands roaming each other's bodies in a hurry, a trail of discarded clothes leading to the bedroom, ragged breaths and frantic steps finding the way towards the bed, two bodies rolling around the sheets, her soft moans and his rough groans matching the “thud, ” of the headboard denting the wallpaper, a symphony of,

“Faster,”

“Harder,”

“Deeper,”

“There. Right there,”

“Yes, yes, yes.”

loud enough to haunt her nosy neighbor for days to come!

Had they been a regular couple, that’s how their third date would be coming to an end; in a steamy encounter between the sheets.

Since they were Azriel and Elain, their third date came to an end with the couple talking in his car, the engine roaring smoothly on the background.

Elain Archeron had been away from the dating scene for five years, yet the rules had not changed much: People expected to get laid by the third date. Sometimes on the first date, or even before having a first date! Bottom line is, go down dirty and hard in the first opportunity you have, put all the chemistry to test to avoid settling down with someone you have no interest in sleeping with. Despite not understanding the appeal of sleeping around, Elain agreed that a couple’s sexual life played a big part in the relationship. She also knew good bedroom chemistry turned into shackles when a guy treated you like shit outside of it. Worst bargain coin ever. Elain had been in one of those relationships before. It took so long for her to see how shitty her last relationship was, and finally break free from it, that once she did, Elain retracted from men all together. Hence the birth of her Crush Land.

Elain’s Crush Land was her happy place, a safe space where she could fantasize about the men she found attractive, without actually having to get involved with them. After all, it was much easier to crush from a distance than to get close and end up disappointed, especially when she had no confidence in maintaining a healthy relationship. In her Land the men were all perfect, flawless, fulfilling all of her expectations without her having to explain a thing. As every good sovereign, she establish ground rules for her Land, two unbreaklabe rules that kept her reign peaceful for years:

1º)This cannot be a one-Crush-land;

2º) The maximum of days a Crush can remain in his throne, is seven days. After that, he's trouble.

With time, Elain grow attached to her delusional lifestyle, content with her fantasies, her Crush Land providing all the male interaction she needed. Until she met Cassian.

Goddamn Cassian Marino, with his massive size and perfect round ass, sauntering into her life flaunting his silky hair and megawatt smiles, destroying everything she worked hard to perfect.  Cass refused to fit into her equation, shattering her one-week-crush mold, frequently appearing in her mind till he was the only guy she could fantasize about. Funny thing is that was her wake up call. Ah, Elain thought sadly, I must be lonely.

Loneliness was a bitch. Especially for someone like her, who had been in relationships more than she had been alone. That’s why her Crush Land was important. No matter how silly it sounded, it helped her to learn to be alone, feel fulfilled by herself, not depend on a partner to give her worth. Elain was worthy. And her ever growing infatuation with Cass was proof that she was ready to get back into the dating world, preferably with him.

Life was also a bitch, slapping her, laughing at her pathetic hopeful plans, rubbing Cass' smoking-hot grilfriend in her face, before she could even have the chance to embarass herself with a confession. Cassian deciding to start when Elain decided to start dating, only to end up dating someone that was not her would be hilarious, had it not happened to her. It did happen to her, and Elain was devastated. But no matter! She would not let that stop her from taking a leep of faith with another guy.

Did she expected for this guy to be Cass' brother? No.

Did she expect for this guy to be her work-nemesis? Also, no.

Did she expect for this guy to be both, and despite the fact she knew that, to accept dating him anyway? Absolutly not!

Sometimes spontaneity made her do crazy things.

Elain would be the first one to admit Azriel's credentials were not looking good. But no matter! Azriel had showed he was interested in moving on too, and Elain was nothing, if not an optimist. She was confident about her abilities to move on, ready to conquer any challange life throw her way! All she needed was a guy who was willing to take her, not tame her, and everything would work out.

That’s how she found herself in boss-turned-boyfriend situation. What Elain and Azriel were doing was different from everything she had ever tried. This time she started dating her boyfriend before even liking him properly, going on dates to get to know each other. And Elain was enjoying this “get to know me” stage, enjoying discovering the little things she would not know simply by working with him.

Despite not having his brother’s easy disposition to accommodate strangers and make everyone feel comfortable with a flash of his white teeth, Azriel wasn’t the cold-hearted tin man she anticipated. As she got to know him, Elain discovered Azriel had no problem in being open and honest about his feelings, his expectations regarding their relationship, his desire to fall in love with her.

Elain was surprised to know he wasn't just interested in moving on, he was interested in her too! Initially, she thought they would help each other get over their exes, gain confidence with the opossite sex, and move on to find actual partners. Azriel nearly blew a fuse when she told him that.

"Let me get this straight. You wanna date me, to date another guy?" "Yeah, we," "No." He stopped her. "You'll date another girl, too," "No." "Let me finish," "No. You are not dating another guy! Are you out of your damn mind?" He interrupted, a vein popping in his forehead. "I warned you, Elain, I warned you I don't do casual. You date me, you are mine, and I do not share what's mine. Fuck no, you'll not date another guy."

Elain thought women's hormones sure worked in mysterious ways, because she had no business finding a domineering man that sexy. So, she changed routes, treating him as a real boyfriend, trying her best to box all his annoying bits to focus in his qualities –a feature she spent the better part of a year believing he did not have. Turned out he did.

It pained her old self to admit this, but Azriel was excellent in his job. He was also beautiful –she was dying to get him in front of her lenses– educated –when he wanted to be– from a good family, with good values, and apparently, extra sexy when he claimed his domain of her. It would be a lie to say a man like that, showing interest in you, didn’t send butterfly into a frenzy in a girl’s belly. Azriel being an attentive boyfriend didn't hurt either.

Even busy, he made sure to text her here and there throughout the the week, matching his free time to hers so they could go on dates. Since their relationship changed from coworkers to lovers, he started watching his tone, policing himself to not lash at her as he usually would – in fact, Azriel was treating the entire team better. Taking did breaths to control his temper while rejecting ideas, reducing the number of times he indiretcly called them stupid during a day, and he had only told her to shut up twice this week – a progress if she ever saw one. It was her fault, honestly. Elain couldn't help it, provoking him was fun.

Plus, bantering didn't end with her wanting to punch his teeth out anymore, now they ended with him cornering her in the empty pantry, his office, the elevator, he parking lot, deseert corridors, Azriel tracking her down to bite the snarkiness out of her lips.

“Jesus, you are such a biter,” she pointed out one day, after a particularly sharp nip. “Learned from you,” he breathed in her mouth.

Guilty. Elain couldn’t get enough of his plushy lips, nibbling and sucking on them till Azriel lost his stark facade, self-control thrown out the window, forgetting they stood in company property to press her on the nearest corner, groaning into her mouth, closing his long finger around her throat, making a mess of her hair. The man seemed obsessed with her hair and her neck. Elain was quickly becoming obsessed with his neck too, tip-toeing to fill it with wet kisses, leaving hickeys at the base, just shy from the collar of his dress shirts, like a little secret hidden in plain sight. It felt good to brand her teeth on his skin. A small punishment for all the times he made he want to punch his face.

At the end of the day, Elain wasn’t in love with Azriel, but she sure liked being his girlfriend. So much so, that when he pulled up in front of her building, she began to stall, coaxing him into conversing a little bit longer, not wanting to part.

Now she sat in his car, asking him endless questions about a subject most girlfriends would avoid like the plague: His ex.

“So you never had a girlfriend? Like, never, ever.” She asked for the third time, stunned with the complex and crazy history of her boyfriend.

Elain knew it wasn’t proper to use their date night to play 21 questions about his ex, but she was a curious person.

“If you want to get technical about it. She didn’t want labels. Had no problems getting the advantages of one, tho.”

His eyes dipped to her leg, which was bare, courtesy of her peach pleated skirt, a question clear in his hazel orbs. Elain allowed silently, watching as he gently ran his knuckles over the longitudinal scar dividing her kneecap in two halves, the line of scar tissue lighter than her skin.

"Does it still hurt?"

"Only if it gets too cold. My doc said it’s psychological, I said he isn’t the one feeling the pins burning. I swear to you, my orthopedist is whack, never trust your knee to Edgar Montero from Beacon Hill, never."

"How many pins?"

Elain lifted two fingers. Azriel removed his hand.

"It's fine, most of the time I forget about it."

He reached for his jacket on the back seat, draping it over her legs.

“Thanks,” Elain undid the straps of her sandals, not noticing him adjusting the temperature, and crossed her legs under his jacket, snapping a quick pic of her covered legs, catching the shoes on his carfloor. Then she returned to the subject of her interest. “Oh man, that’s a lot of responsibility, being someone’s first girlfriend. Just so you know, I had a lot of boyfriends, lots of experience.”

Azriel turned on his seat to better face her. “I have a decade of experience.”

She used her hand to make and “0” shape, saying, “stil had zero girlfriends. Were you lonely?"

Elain was. In her last relationship, Elain felt lonely even though she wasn't alone. She never wanted to experience that feeling again.

Azriel merely shrugged. “Work kept me busy enough.”

“Life is more than fashion, Marino. Life is bitter without the sweet frosting of love."

"Let me guess: that's why you fall in love easily."

"touché." She winked at him.

His raven-hair touched the headrest, Azriel closing his eyes. "How many boyfriend are we talking about?" he asked casually.

"You sure you wanna know?"

"Mmh."

"Most people prefer not to know about their partners past..." she taunted.

Azriel opened one eye, giving her an incredulous look. "You are so full of shit. You literally spent," he looked at his watch, "one hour and twenty minutes interrogating me."

It was her time to shrug, playing it cool. "I'm confident like that." Bullshit. Freaking curious enough to put George to shame, that's what she was.

"Stop stalling." Damn it, he knew her antics.

"Since you insist. Don't go crying later!" she gave him a last warn, putting a hand on her chest. "Just so you know, I'm extremely loyal. Got my first boyfriend entering high school, dated him till senior year. We broke up, I started dating this other guy in college, we were together till I turned twenty-four – he kind of traumatized me a little, but that's story for another time. Then I met this cute guy on tinder, he was stinky rich, but I think his mom wanted to bone him." Elain grimaced, using air quotes to repeat the nasty words she had to hear. "That lady was not happy to see her 'precious golden boy' with a 'lousy photographer'. I am not lousy. A goddamn amazing photographer, that's wha I am. Dumped his ass and won a contest later that month, thank you very much, mama Vanserra.”

Six months after breaking up with Graysen, Elain got into a bad funk. She missed intimacy, missed sex, and the worst part, she missed Graysen. To avoid crawling back to him, she tried a dating app, finding Lucien Vanserra on the first swipe, who she got involved with for three blissful months. Then his crazy mother started wanting to compete with Elain for her son’s love and affection. The woman acted like her son was her late husband. Yikes.

“And?” Azriel urged to go on, his voice bringing her out of memory lane.

“And what?”

"You said you dated a lot, I'm waiting for the "lot" part."

Elain grabbed the front of his shirt, twisting the fabric. "How dare you criticize my lovely love history? You never had a girlfriend. You are like, like – a dating novice!”

Azriel made sure his eye roll was a deliberately slow one, grabbing her chin to bring her closer. “You dated two guys and a half.”

"Why a half?"

"You never dated the third asshole."

“Still dated more than you.”

“Questionable.”

Elain snorted, impressed with his audacity to judge her when he never managed to get a single girl to date him. Before she could tell him to shove it, Azriel ran his thumb across her lower lip. He knew just how to shush her, because Elain went inert instantly. 

“Are you done interrogating me, now?” She nodded. “Or do you wish to reminisce about your harem a little longer?” She shook her head.

There was no need to think about a witty reply. Azriel wasn’t actually interested in an answer, didn’t wait for on either.

He kissed her with all the patient she didn’t have, taking his time in tasting her lips; and there they were without fail, the goddamn fireworks blowing behind her lids like they did every time he touched her. Elain melted into him. His kiss was unhurried, throughtful, lips moving with the same tender assurance of the hand palming the beck of her neck, finger tangling in the waves at her nape, tugging in delicious way that was neither too harsh nor too tight. Perfect. His touch was perfect.

Elain endure the slow tempo the best she could, the kiss lingering like the sweetest of punishments. She let him conduct the pace till she was tingling all over, goosebumps coating her skin, Then she exploded, untamed and unleashed.

Where Azriel was calm, Elain was the storm. She wasted no time with gentleness, sticking her tongue in his mouth to deepen the kiss, delighting in his small flinch of surprise. Elain throw her arms around his neck like a desperate drowning girl in search of a life jacket to cling to, Azriel shuddering under her embrace, matching her wild pace with no struggle. Elain loved how versatile he was, changing from one type of kiss to another with easy, allowing her to guide him, to coach him as she saw fit. Heavy panting soon filled the air, the peculiar couple getting lost in the erratic kiss. When Azriel released her, his voice was lower than usual, rough on the edges, a black ocean smothering the beautiful hazel of his eyes.

"Is the experienced up to your standards, madam?"

She barely nodded, lipstick smudged all over, eyes glazed with need, searching for his mouth again.

Few were the things capable of turning Elain silent and compliant.

Azriel's kiss was on top of that list.

.

.

.

Elain sidestepped into the conference room carrying four colorful binders, arms feeling like jelly under the heavy weight, huffing from the small walks from the room to her desk. Okay, maybe the material wasn’t that heavy and she was the one out of shape. Christ, she needed to exercise more frequently. Elain could not remember the last time she did some cardio, except for running to the bakery two blocks down from her place. Fine, she needed to exercise, period.

She dropped her cargo on the long table, organizing the variety of fabric swatches, reference data and sponsoring proposals Nuala left in her care, snapping a quick photo of it all. Nuala caught a nasty flu she was trying to nurse before their business trip, leaving Elain, Miguel and Azriel to run their last meeting without her.

Speaking of Azriel…

Elain glanced expectantly at her boss, who was casually leaning against the table, focused solemnly on his tablet, scribbling over the interview draft Miguel presented to him. The assistant writer stood by him, eyes moving furiously from the object to his boss face, fidgeting like a child who waits for parental approval. These days Elain wasn’t much different, constantly rocking on her heels as she waited to snatch his attention.

The reminiscence of daylight seemed to clung to him, highlighting the deep navy of his dress shirt, the color making his profile stand out. The top button was undone, giving her the smallest glimpse of bronzed skin, Elain biting her lip as she remembered what was hidden by his shirt. At the height of his second button laid a little purple bruise, made by her. Elain sighed. How come he was able to stand there, doing nothing but breathe and be serious, and look as good as a seasoned model posing for the camera? Life was unfair. Well, not so unfair since she was the one who got to enjoy this big, sexy, handsome,

“Did your toddler redacted the last questions?” Azriel’s sharp remark interrupted her silent inspection of him. He didn’t raise his voice, didn’t have to, directing his piercing stare at Miguel, who scratched his head, saying,

“I don’t have kids.”

“Figured. A toddler knows better than to ask Wang personal questions. Keep it professional, focus in the progress of her career, she’s prone to be volatile if you don’t. Tis last page is useless. Do it again.”

“Yes, boss man. Will do.”

Behind them, Elain rolled her eyes at Azriel for ruining her sweet memories with his unwanted crudeness. Moments like this, she didn't like him one bit. Azriel wasn't lying when he said it was hard for him to connect with people, and once he got hyperfocused in his job that little detail shined light a beacon. The man was in serious need of an interpersonal relationship coach. Learning the difference between constructive criticism and public humiliation would do wonders to his character.

Elain slammed a clipboard on the table, making a grand show of pretending to sneeze three time, just to slip in the words, “quit,” “being,” “a jerk,” in between. She could hear Azriel taking a deep breath before his neck turned like the little girl in the exorcist.

“Excuse me?”

“You should say “bless you, love”, but thanks.”

Elain could swear the lights flickers. "Are you doing that?" Shuddering, she made the sign of the cross.

Azriel scowled harder. “Are you out of your meds again?”

Oh, the nerve of this man. Liked being his girlfriend her ass. Elain gave him the sweetest smile she could muster, ending up looking like a psycho on the loose.   

“Of course not, Marino. I have my medicine right here,” she pinched his cheeks, Miguel sucking his lips inwards to avoid laughing. “How could I look at this face and not feel healthy and energized? Don’t be a jerk, love, scowling gives you winkles, and God did not make me this hot to date a wrinkled old geezer.”

“I’m not old.”

"You are. Age is a state of mind, and yours show in your grumpiness." She tapped his cheek lightly, smoothing the frown from between his brows. "Relax for me," she said, then, a bit quieter, "that sounds awfully sensual doesn't it? Relax for me."

He seemed peeved, but Elain was positive he wanted to laugh. She could see his lips twitching in the corner.

"You know I'm still your boss, right?"

"So you've told me. Now stop scolding the poor boy, I don't his beautiful soul to be crushed by corporate world. You done with the interview, yeah?" she pushed the remaining binders closer to Azriel, explaining their contents. “Nuala asked to pass this along. This one has partnership proposals. She said to email her if you have any doubt, she’ll be glue to her phone in case you need her. This one has secured sponsors. Take a look at these gorgeous Jacobsen settees we can display on set.” She flipped all the way to page twenty-four, showing him a variety of furniture to choose from, watching him overseeing the selection with keen attention.

“They look rigid,” Azriel commented absently.

“You know all about that, don’t you?” See? Easy to provoke. “I’m aiming for uncomfortable. Is part of the first act. Nuala and I were playing with a couple of scenarios, and I did some sketches. My goal is for it to be hard on the edges, unpleasant, transitioning into a more and welcoming atmosphere once her apprentices come into the picture, color bleeding in. They are her missing piece, her equilibrium.”

She located the blue binder, spreading it open in front of her boss, displaying all the confidence and grace that she had mastered dealing with her previous clientele. Anxious brides needed reassurance, and Elain was an expert in gving it, gently guiding them into her vision with steady steps, making sure to accommodate their hidden desires to create the perfect shooting.

She showed them the pages, giving visual representation of how the model would look in the set, how the poses would convey the message. Azriel analyzed each page quietly, lost in contemplation, contrary to Miguel, who silently shook beside him, clutching his fist to his mouth.

Elain reached in front of Azriel to slap Miguel's arm. “What are you laughing at?”

“You said you sketched.”

“I did.” 

“Angelita, you drew a bunch of stick people.” He lifted the tip of a paper, trying to discern what the heck she had done there. Lots of circles and lines, that's what. “It’s impossible to understand this.”

Elain gasped out loud, dramatically clutching a hand to her chest, gluing the back of her other hand to her forehead.

"Here we go," Azriel muttered, getting out of her way.

Elain staggered towards Miguel, clinging to his jacket, shaking him left and right.

“My own friend. My brother in army!”

“Brother in arms.” Azriel corrected with a shake of the head.

Elain ignored him, way too deep into her theatrical redemption of a betrayed person, continuing her absurd discourse.

“My ally! Here I was, defending your maidenly honor, and you, you! You throw me under the bus! Thou shalt not kill, Miguel, thou shalt not kill! Why do you murder me like this! Have you no compassion? Have you no honor? Why do you betray me, why?" With a final cry, she sobbed into his shirt.

"Alright, alright. Get up now." Miguel held Elain up right, who was still pretending to be weak on the knees. “Couldn’t you have cut some old mags or something?”

“And give you some else’s vision?” her face twisted with horror, Elain pushing away from him to clean her fake tears. “No, thank you. This is an original shooting, with original concept, so we needed original drawings.” She tapped her index on the paper. “You have to look with your third eye, friend.”

“I have that?”

“Everyone does.” Fixing her hair in a ponytail, Elain wiggled herself between the two man, preparing to give a class they would not forget. “Pay attention, por sabor.”

“Por favor," he corrected amused.

“That’s what I said. Look, these are all different poses, kneeling, standing, laying down. I gave my blood for the stick people! Look! Here, she’s falling from a cliff into darkness, see, her arms are trying to grab salvation. Here, they are lying down, bored to death, in desperate need of something new, excitement. Then, boom! Wangsalvation. And here comes Vera," her passionate speech mellowed, for a shadow was casted over her, a strong frame trapping her between his body and the table. Elain wondered if Azriel had an inner furnace, because he always seemed to run hotter than her.

She cleared her throat, struggling to remain professional. "Vera is – Vera...? Yes! Vera. Vera will be waiting for her pupils, reaching her hand like the statue of a goddess, teaching her ways to the youth.”

The heat of Azriel's body seeped into her naked arms as he gently took a hold of her wrist, long soft fingers wrapping around her skin. Mouth-watering muscles flexed as guided her, making her point at something she could not care less.

"What's that one?"

Elain licked her lips, imagining how much prettier he’d look holding both of her wrists, pinning her hands above her head, binders dropped to the ground because she’d be the one spread on this table, harsh hazel eyes darkening with desire as he bent over–

“Models in opposite sides, touching each other’s faces.” She mumbled bewildered.

“Mmmh.” His purring vibrated on her back, Elain gulping at the awareness that she was straight out resting against his front. Her cheeks heated, eyes darting quickly to the witness in the room, only to find him distracted by his phone.

“Hey, Jerry read my email. He'll see me first thing tomorrow,” Miguel said casually. Jerry was their chief-editor, responsible for all the journalist aspects of an issue. “I’ll cut the last page and brainstorm new questions tonight. Maybe he can finish proofreading before we fly out.”

Azriel's hand moved from her wrist to her waist, resting casually at her hip. "I rather you proofread the winner's interview first. Wang is the last to go, there’s time to fix hers.”

“You sure?”

The two exchanged more words Elain didn’t pay an ounce of attention to, too busy digesting her latest daydream. The fact that her fantasies were now starred by a different Marino still caught her by surprise sometimes.

Surely, all that making out, like a couple of unsupervised horny teenagers, was messing with her brain chemistry. Because Azriel went from being nothing but a cranky boss, who made her blood boiling with impatience after their interactions, to be the protagonist of her x-rated story lines, sending her spiraling simply because he touched her wrist –not even her ass or titties, her goddamn wrist! This man’s touch needed to be studied.

The more she thought about it, the clearer it got: Elain not only liked to be Azriel's girlfriend; Elain liked Azriel.

A kiss on top of her head startled Elain back in the present, Miguel long gone from the room.

“I can smell your neurons burning.” Azriel joked, smelling her hair, kissing the same spot from before. The little excited thing in her chest went crazy. “Why is your heart beating so fast?” he whispered in her ear, “I can feel it in my chest.”

Crap, he could feel it?

Elain groaned.

At first, she thought Azriel Marino didn't had a flirtatious bone in his body, later, she understood he simply wasn't into cheesy reckless pick up lines like her. No, Azriel enjoyed other ways to take her off her feet, generally pointing things a gentleman should pretend he hadn't noticed! Sometimes it felt like this man was put on this earth to humble her. Christ, how was she supposed to flirt her way out this? Elain was in need of a Scotty to beam her up and away from here, before this man discovered her weakness. He was already way to powerful for her taste.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that my boss being inappropriate during office hours.”

“Now, she remembers I'm her boss. And you are inappropriate all the time.”

“Yeah, but it’s weird when you do it. I'm the funny partner in this relationship.”

Azriel used her jeans beltloops to turn her around till her ass was pressed on the table “Are you?” Since when had this man confused face been so adorable? "You are fun, but funny, tsk tsk. Funny is a big stretch."

His fingers dug in her in waist, cutting her cognitive abilities, stopping her from registering the insult. Was he going to put her up the table? God, she hoped he would. "Cute shirt."

Elain looked down on her white tee design, where two potted plants were having a conversation. One saying, "Aloe, how are you?", the other "Hey, long Thyme no see."

"Thanks."

He traced her lower lip, muttering. "No lipstick, today?"

Before she could control herself, Elain let her tongue dart outside, meetind the pad of his thumb. "Didn't want to smear you," she replied in a daze.

"Glass walls. Office hours." Came his low warning.

"Technically, we are past office hours. I'm friends with Marie, you know, the cleaning lady. She gave those glass walls an extra glow this morning, I can guarantee you'll find no germs in it. Now, if you wanna put some germs in it, I have a few ideas about what we could press there. Who. You. could press there. But I should warn you, the dress code suggestion may get a little skimpy."

There was no hidding his smile now, except he wasn't amused. His smile was wicked, smoldering hazel eyes hiding delirious promises. Azriel cleaned her saliva over her cheek, finding her neck.

Knuckles rapped against the glass wall; a melodious voice calling his name. Worse, calling him by a pet name.

"Az." The affectionate sugary tone made Elain grimace. And she wasn't the only one.

One blink and the burning desire in his eyes morphed into anxiety.

"Az?" His face paled. As if he couldn't believe the sound reaching his ears. Elain looked from him to the gorgeous woman in the doorway, checking her from feet to face.

Black stilettos, red strapless jumpsuit and sunglasses greeted her. Manicured red coffin nails clutched a tiny mini purse, beach blonde hair gathered at her nape in a low, elegant, ponytail, once again making Elain feel inadequate in her jeans and tee. Morrigan took her sunglasses off, giving Elain a view of her red swollen eyes.

"Az... Azriel." Her trembling voice calling his full name seemed to wake up Azriel from his trance. He withdrew from Elain completely, turning to Morrigan at last

"Hi." Uncomfortable silence stretched when he didn't greet her back. If Morrigan was saddened by his stiff reaction, she did not let it show. "Can we talk? Please. I really need to speak with you."

[oatmilkovich]

Hi! I've been thinking about your post that focused on Edvins acting in YR, and was hoping you were cool with going more in depth about what you meant? Mostly drawing from two quotes,"...In a way that isn't over played or presented rather than experienced.." and also, "the way that edvin let the anxiety inform the scene rather than direct the scene was so impressive." Could you talk more about what it means to inform rather than direct? And what does it look like when ppl do the opposite? 1/2

2/2 Or any thoughts about the topic you have to share? I love hearing ppl's analysis on acting and your comments really intrigued me lol thank you and take care :)

hi there! sorry this took a week to get back to, i have been crazy, crazy busy and haven’t had the time to give it the attention it deserved ❤️i’m also glad i waited because now i can write this post whilst listening to the score that dropped earlier 😌

of course i don’t mind going into more depth — i’d love to. okay so, here i’m analysing edvin’s portrayal of wilhelm’s anxiety in the st lucia scene in episode 5 - THIS is a link to the original post in case someone comes across this ask and doesn’t know what i’m referring to. 

what i mean when i say “in a way that isn’t over played or presented rather than experienced” is that as actors we’re trained with the idea that we are our characters, we’re not playing a role – we’re existing as ourselves with the circumstances of the character placed on us. so, for example if i was approaching a scene where the character i’m playing is experiencing heavy anxiety, i have to connect with my own experiences of anxiety/the things that make me anxious. the more detailed and specific i can be when connecting the circumstances in the script to my own experiences, the more authentic the character’s experience will be in the scene. it will be more real for the actor and will definitely feel more real for the audience watching. you can always tell when an actor hasn’t put in the necessary work emotionally because it will seem fake or over dramatic – they’re just playing pretend. they’re not experiencing the anxiety (for example), they’re playing an idea – they’re too concerned over trying to show you what the character is feeling/going through, rather than simply living that experience in the scene. 

this leads to your next point – "the way that edvin let the anxiety inform the scene rather than direct the scene was so impressive." often, when an actor has underprepared for a scene that deals with a heavy emotion (like anxiety), they end up making the entire scene be about that emotion, rather than just allowing that emotion to be present in the moment. they come into the scene with the intent of showing you that it’s a moment of sadness/happiness/rage, rather than actually allowing those emotions to come up naturally by connecting with the circumstances and listening to their scene partner. edvin here clearly did the work necessary beforehand, he knew that wilhelm was anxious about losing simon and connected that how that would make him, edvin, feel to lose someone that way (obviously I don’t know the specifics of his technique, but this is an educated guess from what I can analyse from his performance). then, instead of walking into the scene ready to direct it like ‘wilhelm is really anxious so i’m gonna show everyone that he’s anxious and that’s exactly what this scene is about’, he allows that anxiety to build up and bubble naturally by working off of omar, thus allowing it to inform the scene. that is why it feels so real and packs a powerful punch – we’re not being told that wille is anxious through edvin’s preplanned idea of how to show us he’s anxious, instead we see him react in the moment and allow those feelings of anxiety to come through authentically. he’s done the work and it pays off beautifully. 

this is a really good video where an acting coach breaks down good vs bad rage scenes (an experienced emotion vs an overplayed/presenting us an emotion) – it might be helpful to have a proper visual (if you’re a visual learner like me). 

i hope this helps and answers what you were looking for! i’m planning on doing a post soon with breaking down certain scenes/moments that i really want to comment on and analyse. edvin and omar’s work (plus the rest of the cast, they’re truly all so impressive) is truly what keeps pulling me back to the show over and over again. we often talk about how nice it is to see young people playing young people because it’s more authentic, relatable and believable – it’s the same with acting. when an actor has truly done the work – especially such young actors – and they give as detailed a performance that edvin and omar do – it’s such a breath of fresh air. i cannot wait to see where they take us in season 2 – especially as we know the boys want drama, lol. 

have a lovely day/evening - thank you so much for reaching out and asking for clarification. there’s nothing i love more than talking about acting. so sorry, once again, for sitting on it for a few days! i just really wanted to take the time and answer properly. 

ps: just a reminder for those who may stumble across this post in the tag, i have a young royals sideblog here! 

❤️

[pinkfey]

here are some jael fun facts because i cannot stop thinking abt her !!

is a half-elf blood kineticist!! i’m playing her as a rogue because that is my one talent in rpgs but from an rp perspective it fits her better and makes her sexier 😈 though for a long while she wasn’t using her magic at all because it was taking a huge toll on her and she made her living burglarizing aristocratic homes with her dhampir friend selkie. that actually led to meeting their other friend, a halfling named sienna, whom they were robbing. girl power ! 🦋🌼🧚🏻‍♀️

speaking of burglary 👀 girlie has the kind of Muscular Definition that comes from basically living in an assassins creed simulator for a few years. queen of parkour. bench pressing her friends has won her more than a few bets.

she’s chaotic neutral and the chaos part comes first lmao she is just a silly little guy :-] being chaotically funny is her number one priority. she didn’t set out to have such immoral tendencies but her nature itself as a blood kineticist almost required it of her. it’s a fucked up gift. but she isn’t ruthless, she’s certain. she does have a heart.

azata path lol my lil mariposa my papillon my nabi 🦋 but in seriousness something shifted in her when she went to elysium. the freedom and the ethereality—it gave her this sense of surety. she finally understood where she’s supposed to fall into place on this strange little journey of hers.

did not receive a formal education for very long so when daeran uses big fancy words she has no idea what he’s saying. but if there’s one thing she’s knows it’s fake it till you make it so she pretends she understands completely lmao just smile and wave boys just smile and wave <3

has terminal resting bitch face but she’s actually quite spontaneous and confident. she seizes every opportunity for a joke and has a charisma that surprises most because on the outside she just looks Shallow and Angry and Beautiful. but she’s rlly inspirational and a natural leader !! just looks cunty 🥴

on the topic of her appearance, she’s between 5’8”-5’10” and she is/would be indian !! also a v important detail!!!!! she wears two small braids in her hair and yes she’s braided daeran’s hair the exact same way. and ember’s. and arue’s. she’s on a mission to braid everyone’s hair (she’ll get regill one day, she swears it)

i’ve mentioned a couple times she loves a good joke a good jab a good jest but god she is so committed to the bit. she loves lying she loves manipulating she loves acting—all for the sake of being a cheeky little shit. of course, it’s gotten her into bad situations just as much as it’s gotten her out of them 😌

aivu is her BABY. respect the dragon or die by her sword 🗡

being on the azata path, she values freedom a lot, something she and daeran share!! it stems from childhood and being rejected and scorned for her penchant for unsettling magic. her family forbade her from using her talents but secretly she would experiment and :/ while she had a morbid fascination with her kinesis’ increasingly improving outcomes, none of her memories of the time are pretty.

when she got caught, her parents had a wizard come to their small village and examine her. she was sent with them to an academy where she was given a bit more magical leeway but was still discouraged from using her kinesis the way she felt most comfortable and was confined to a box. but she did meet selkie there!! selkie was like an assistant to jael’s fucked up little experiments until they were discovered and both expelled D: rip

[lonelyvomit]

Hi Abby! Felt like talking to someone and you are my chosen victim 😌

I come with gifts, because these blue Niko pics (nothing new sadly, all of these are old ones ☹️) have given me a LOT feelings today. Especially the piano one and the outdoor ones. I wanna go on adventure with him so bad! 🥺

Anyway, I hope that you are not having too bad time and will feel better soon 💙

(oh no I can't do this anonymously 😵 too bad the need to talk someone is strong so here comes anyway 🙃)

👀👀👀👀👀 IM GLAD YOUR NEED TO TALK WON OVER SHYNESS BECAUSE HRHRHRHMRMHMRRMHMRH

piano Niko will always make me 😭🤲🖤 like this dude grew up wanting to be a rapper, got an education in classical music and now makes violent pop ?? we love a man with the RANGE ✨

and and his love for Lapland makes me so fucking soft cus like mf was born north and still when he was asked about dream holiday destination he said Lapland like my dude you're literally talking like 3 hour drive from your childhood home and I just think it takes something special to continue to appreciate something even when it's technically always right there and that is honestly so cute ;;~;;

I'm gonna pretend the last one isn't there as if I haven't lost my shit over it regularly since the dawn of times thank u

[cowgrl]

what are u reading rn?

ahhh tysm for asking; i love talking books!!

i’m perpetually reading 25 books but anyway

a promised land by barack obama - well, this one needs no introduction lol. i’m listening to this on audiobook with my mom and it’s wonderful so far, but it’s like a tome and we’re only on chapter 3 so come back 7 months from now when we’ve finally finished it. if you’re going to read this physically, definitely give the audiobook a listen at some point too. it’s just so nice to hear his voice (and i love listening to authors read their own biographies/memoirs anyway)

horimiya series by hero - i’m reading vol. 3 right now and i love this manga so much! slice of life anything is instant serotonin for me <3 hori must be protected at all costs, miyamura has made me seriously reconsider my stance on man-buns (still hate the term tho), and souta is my fav! it’s got a maid-sama vibe but without the enemies-to-lovers element (which is a trope i typically i hate in 99% of media) and there’s an ova adaptation too that i haven’t watched yet but i’m excited

a very punchable face by colin jost - i am slightly embarrassed to say this but this is kind of a thirst read 😳 i mean, i do actually want to read this book but i’d be lying if i said 60% of the reason why wasn’t because i really like colin and snl (weekend update specifically). 

i may or may not have teared up when he was on late night with seth meyers because i love their friendship and i was so excited for this book to come out...i also may or may not have been pms-ing but i can’t remember so we’ll never know! anyway, it’s pretty interesting! his childhood is more intriguing than his adulthood would lead you to believe and i’m still an snl-apologist (yes they’re lame try-hards but they’re MY lame try-hards <3) so it’s nice to read the little snl stories too :-)

the island of sea women by lisa see - this was recommended to me by my favorite co-worker and i’m trying really hard to get through it but it almost put me in a reading slump. historical fiction is probably one of my least favorite genres; i’d much rather read about the real people who lived during that time period than a fictional account. obviously, there are exceptions but in general, it’s just not my cuppa. 

i’m only 100 pages in and i’m struggling so i might end up switching over to the audiobook. i will finish it eventually; i want to give my co-worker’s rec a fair shot and it’s a critical darling -- everyone seems to love this book -- so i’d feel pretty bad if i dnf’d it. i would love to learn more about the real haenyeo of jeju because i am genuinely fascinated and inspired by them! i love women’s history so i’m sure that’s why it was recommended to me. americans are taught very little about the korean war and japanese colonialism so i think it’s going to be an enlightening read for me as well once i really get into it.

how not to get shot: and other advice from white people by d.l. hughley and doug moe - a satirical take on the black experience in america featuring lots of tragic (and infuriating) real events in african-american history but hey, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. obviously, that’s an oversimplification but it’s a satirical advice book for black people based on the illogical, ignorant, and racist arguments of white people in america; i don’t really know how to explain it beyond that. i have quite a few hughley books on my tbr but this is the first one i’ve read and it’s poignant but i’m laughing a lot too. if you think reverse racism is real you’ll hate it but at the same time you probably need to read it more than anyone 💀

yotsuba&! vol. 14 by kiyohiko azuma - MY RAMPION, MY CHAMPION, MY FAVORITE <3333 kiyohiko azuma is the king of slice of life and you can’t change my mind. this is currently the last volume so even though i checked it out a while ago, i’ve been procrastinating because i don’t want it to end 😭 (it’s still ongoing though, i just don’t want to finish vol. 14 and not have vol. 15 to start reading immediately after) 

yotsuba is an adorable, hilarious 5-year-old girl navigating the world with her dad and her neighbors and it’s just one of the cutest manga series ever created. nothing’s perfect but yotsuba&! is literally flawless - mr. azuma does not miss!

okay there are a few more that i’m reading but that’s probably enough for now! thank you so much for the ask, anon!