#i love pho so pho king much

[mochacoconut]

brisket pho <3

[sunoorintarou]

Catharsis: Going Home (Christmas Special pt. 2)

Phos!Reader x Gojo Satoru

Warnings: Takes place in the afterlife, kinda angsty, the love confession we didn't know we needed <3, the usual catharsis tags

Notes: Our blue eyed King will be back guys, trust (cope). Anyways, I suggest listening to the Bleach Soundtrack Going Home while reading this 🤝 Happy ending though ig

If someone had told Gojo Satoru in high school that he'd be one of the first of all his friends to die, he would have thrown a fit so bad, he probably would have destroyed the entire school building.

But here he was, lying flat on his back, vision blurring as he heard the distressed screams of his friends and students. Everything was fading. He felt like he was underwater, muffled voices and footsteps that wouldn't make it to him in time echoing.

He feels warm. Warmer than he felt in a long time.

Is this death?

His lashes fluttered as he stared at the blurred grey sky, feeling something cold touch his skin. It was snowing. The very first snow of winter and immediately his thoughts were clouded with you.

Satoru blinked, freezing when he found himself standing in a busy street. Nameless faces fading out around him. He was in high school again, or at least, he looked like he was in high school. He scanned his appearance in the window of a shop, noting how he wasn't wearing the familiar red scarf he had adorned so many times in the cold.

He froze. A certain realisation hitting him. If he wasn't wearing that scarf, then-

"Gojo - san!"

Satoru spun on his heel, blue eyes wide and sparkly. In the middle of the crowd, there you were. A familiar figure that had his hands reaching out to grasp any possible part of you that he could reach.

Same phosphophyllite eyes and hair, same concerned gaze, same pretty face and unsteady posture, and of course, his scarf that he had given to you one particularly cold day wrapped tightly around your neck.

"Hey, Satoru? Do you like her?" Suguru asked bluntly. If there was someone who knew Satoru, it was him. He could recognise the longing in his friend's eyes, the way he straightened his back when you were around, teasing you endlessly but dropping everything the moment she needed something.

Today, Suguru had finally had enough. You had been telling them about something mundane. Some show you watched, or some dessert you had tried, Suguru couldn't really remember. While he and Shoko always humoured you, he noticed that Satoru was suspiciously quiet, turning to glance at his friend, ready to ask if he was alright. But what he saw almost made me want to dry heave right then and there.

Gojo Satoru. The Gojo Satoru was staring at your side profile with the kind of lovesick gaze he'd only ever seen on a 13 year old girl in a coming of age movie.

His eyes were so soft around the edges, trained on you as you spoke, a smile so adoring and dreamy on his face that Suguru was almost 100% sure that he wasn't listening to a word you were mumbling. Probably fantasising about your pretty face and how much he wanted to kiss you, hold your hand, hug you, or something gross like that.

Suguru swore there were hearts floating around him and that if he were alone, he'd been kicking his feet, giggling, screaming into his pillow every time he remembered you saying "Gojo - san!" in your sweet voice.

Suguru grimaced at the sight, absolutely flabbergasted. Looking from you, to Satoru, then you, then Satoru, then Shoko, who gave him a knowing smirk. Discreetly kicking his foot under the table.

He had wasted no time to question Satoru after class, sitting on the chair in his dorm room, while Satoru lied on his bed.

"Do you like her?" Suguru repeated, already knowing the answer.

"Does it matter?" Satoru muttered, voice soft in a way Suguru had never heard it.

Where was the cocky boy who acted as if he could do no wrong? The overly confident jerk that knew full well how attractive he was? The boy who wouldn't hesitate to use his charms on strangers and shamelessly brag of how amazing he was?

Suguru had never seen Satoru so... vulnerable. So downtrodden. So raw and almost innocent in tone. His voice soft and light and so full of emotions and-

It clicks for Suguru. It's a little more than like. Maybe a lot more. And Satoru will never admit it but he's scared. He can see it on his face in the way his eyes droop, how his lips pull into a straight line, and how he fiddles with his fingers. Suguru's eyes widen when he sees what he's fiddling with.

It's a ring. Your ring. The one you always had on your right ring finger, the one he knows you couldn't have given to Satoru without a fuss or a fight but he also knows that Satoru wouldn't let you keep everything that's yours to yourself. That's just how he is. Taking your things to feel close to you.

It's a little pathetic. Imagining how the cold steel would feel against his skin if his fingers were intertwined with yours. How your gentle hands would feel in his rough ones.

But it's just as endearing. And a little funny, seeing his self-centered friend completely consumed by thoughts of another being.

"Of course, it matters." Suguru states, so sure of his words Satoru almost begins to believe them.

But it isn't until now, 12 years later, under the first snow that Satoru truly believes them. It does matter because you matter.

His heart moves before his body does, but when it catches up, he finds himself running to you. And in a split second, he's in front of you. He's imagined this moment so many times, going over the words in his head, letting them linger on his tongue every second of the past 1w years yet when he finally faces you, he's at a loss.

His mind is blank, his heart is on his sleeve, and he feels like a child. Taking in the sight of you with a lump forming in his throat.

"Gojo - san-" You begin, tears welling in your eyes, but before you can continue, you find yourself wrapped in a strong embrace.

"Satoru." He corrects, holding you against his chest, really feeling the weight of you against him.

"Sa - to - ru?" You sound out the syllables softly, and he swears his name has never sounded so good. So sweet. Like something precious.

"Yeah. It's been a while." His words are casual, almost awkward, but there's a weight in them. He pulls away to meet your gaze, eyes widening when he notices the tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" His hands find your cheeks, cupping them gently in his grasp. And for once, he feels as if his hands are as strong as everyone thinks because right now he's holding his entire world in them.

He's imagined this thousands of times, but you've never cried in his mind, and he's left unsure. What happened? Are you upset with him for letting you die? For leaving you with Suguru that day? For not protecting you?

He's fully prepared to brace the words he feels will pierce through him like a dagger. To accept any harsh words, cruel punishments, absolutely anything as long as you don't hate him. That's one thing he can not accept. Not when he's finally gotten you back.

"You're an idiot! How could you?" Your voice cracks, and you sniffle.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that day I shouldn't have-" Satoru begins to explain, holding you gently.

"You were- you shouldn't be here! You're so young, Satoru, you should- you should still be alive!" You scold, hands reaching up to hold his face, pulling him down to your level.

That was the last thing Satoru expected.

"Are you alright?" Your voice drops, soft and low, as you look over his features carefully like a mother checking over her child.

"Fine." He breathes out, absolutely breathless as he realised you're crying for him. Mourning the life he never got to experience instead of your own.

God. He loved you.

"You fought well, Satoru. I'm proud of you. You can rest now." You whisper earnestly, sniffling as you watch his face for any discomfort.

Suddenly, you're knocked off your feet, a yelp leaving your lips as you find yourself landing in the snow, a heavy weight pinning you down.

"Satoru, what-"

You freeze, his large form heavy on your chest, face buried into the crook of your neck. But what catches your attention are the tears dripping onto your skin as Satoru clutches you like a lifeline, your hands responding before your brain does and immediately wrapping around him tightly.

How long had he yearned for those words? Being the strongest meant expectations and contempt. Rarely ever appreciation because the duty of the strong was inherent. Protect the weak and expect nothing in return.

Nothing.

No one remembered his victories, but everyone remembered his faults.

The celebration of his death would surely be larger than the celebration of his life.

Yet in mere seconds, you made him feel as if 28 years of suffering was worth it. Every cut, bruise, scar to his body. The exhaustion in his bones. The weariness of his soul. If it all led to this moment in your arms, it was worth it, and he'd do it all again and again and again if it meant you'd be waiting at the end of it.

"I love you." He says, voice shaky as he holds onto you, choking back a sob.

You freeze in surprise, feeling your skin heat up, eyes wide as you stare at the sky. "Go- Satoru, what are you-" You're suddenly pulled to your feet, stumbling into his chest as his eyes earnestly meet yours, cheeks tear stained and flushed.

"I've held this in for 12 years and regretted it every second for not telling you. I love you, Y/n. I love your clumsiness, how earnest you are, how caring you are. Everything you hate about yourself too, your weakness, how fragile your body is, how easily you cry. I fell in love with all of it but was too much of an idiot to realise it." Satoru begins, making sure you're listening to every word he's saying.

"Satoru, wait-" You try, still in shock as he shakes his head. He holds up his right hand, and your jaw drops when you see what's on his ring finger.

"Is that?" You inhale sharply, trying to come to terms with this.

"Your ring. I still have it. And you're still wearing my scarf." He points out.

"Satoru, wait. Ca- calm down. You're thinking too hard- not thinking enough? I don't know, but this is so sudden-" You stumble over your words, heart racing in your chest.

"After 12 years of waiting, how is it sudden?" He asks, gently holding your hands in his.

Big hands. Big heart. An existence that quenches the thirst of your soul.

"You- are you serious right now? Do you really, li- like-" You manage before he cuts you off.

"Like? No. I love you." He grins, finally. Brightly, beautifully. As if you're watching the sun smile at the moon, the waves caress the shores. A sort of clumsy picturesque view any respectable photographer would kill for.

"Lo- love?"

"Love. You. Everything about you." He repeats earnestly.

You pause when he leans in, face scarlet in embarrassment as you flinch back, half expecting his lips to meet yours far too quickly. His hands gently cupping your face.

You panic, squeezing your eyes shut as he leans in only to hear a soft chuckle, and feel his fingers poke between your furrowed brows.

"What's that look for, hm? You like me too." He states proudly, playful lilt ever present but something more masked beneath.

"Wuh-" You're at a loss. Absolutely speechless.

"Come on. Admit it." He laughs.

You hesitate. Perhaps you'd long fooled yourself into thinking he was only a precious friend. Repeating the words at the back of your mind. Drilling them into your brain. Friend. Friend. A friend. You liked him as a friend.

Suddenly, Shoko's words ring in your head.

It's the spring of 2006, cicadas chirping outside, cool sodas on the table as you sat across from Shoko in your dorm.

"You're telling me... you get butterflies when you see him, your face gets hot when he smiles, you want to be with him every day, you stumble over your words around him, and you think this is cause you're sick?" Shoko loves you. You're the cutest thing she's never seen. You're so sweet. You're like a younger sister, or perhaps a pet puppy, or- something like that. But for goodness sake. You couldn't possibly be serious right now.

You nod earnestly, brows furrowed in concern. "What's the diagnosis, Doctor Ieiri?" You blurt, barely hiding your nervousness.

Shoko plays along, scribbling on the back of a lotto receipt with a dull pencil, biting down on her lollipop. "Here. Your diagnosis." She slides it across the table to you.

You gulp, hesitantly turning over the piece of paper. Scanning it with wide eyes.

"This- this can't be! Surely the diagnosis is wrong, Doctor! I- there's no way!" You panic.

Shoko deadpans. You're acting like she legitimately diagnosed you with something serious.

She leans over, and circles the two words she's written.

Stupidity. And, love.

"...I do." You blurt without thinking, eyes hesitantly meeting Satoru's 12 years too late. Or perhaps just in time.

"I love you. I have for a very long time as well." You admit breathlessly, tears welling in your eyes as the floodgates that had been holding back 12 years' worth of love burst open.

Satoru hadn't expected you to admit it so easily, so earnestly. He can't help the way his eyes gloss over and how his heart stutters. The prettiest smile on his face.

"Yeah? I know." He manages cheekily, but there's no hiding the raw emotion in his gaze.

"I'm sorry I left so early." You sniffle, pushing onto your tippy toes to press your forehead against his.

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long." He mutters, lips finding the trail of tears in hopes of kissing away your heartache as he'd dreamed of so many times ago.

"But I'm here now. Sorry I'm late. I'm finally home." His hands cup your cheeks, nose pressing against yours.

"Welcome home, Satoru."

Perhaps the cruel Gods that Satoru never really believed in had finally had mercy on him. Who was he kidding? The Gods had long forsaken him, but you?

Surely even they couldn't deny you.

If Satoru could go back in time, he'd tell his highschool self 3 things.

Number 1. Beat up the higher ups at least once.

Number 2. Take more pictures with the people you love.

And Number 3. Don't worry. At the end, don't be sad. Because you'll finally come home.

[i-have-no-idea-for-name]

Have some babies again :D have my little beloved baby, Phos from @the-trash-phrog and Stanley from @drlemon303 :3 Star loves all of her siblings so much 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 (also my babies eyes in @the-trash-phrog and my styles :333)

Also I once forgot to add Star's parents :3

Much different then Phos and Stanley's :'3

One couple is happily married, loving parents and very good kings and the other after their third divorce XDDDD

[angelcakesupreme]

so bored so i’m going to do this

1. odd question regarding the true part but, yes my name is zaria.

2. december 1st

3. 5’4”

4. taken by a pumpkin 🙂

5. i really like to apply three cute words together to get a good url.

6. i personally can adore both but if i had to chose, dogs. bigger dogs though because i don’t feel fond of smaller dog breeds lol. older cats are really cool.

7. as far as live action, i really like indie movies or films that generally focus on the slice of life genre. also films exploring a character navigating growth or love. i’m open to a lot of animation too but i adore surrealism and similar genres as my live action preferences for that too.

8. i really do wish i read more. its pretty difficult with adhd/autism but i do find myself fascinated with early 1900s children’s book illustrations.

9. both of my ears are pierced and i don’t want anymore.

10. i’ve always wanted to go to a safe meadow with flowers and sit under a large tree while letting a cute radio play 60s indie garage rock. my boyfriend and i will have a large quilted blanket out with a beautiful and classy packed picnic lunch with glassware and cute napkins. we have sandwiches, soup, iced tea, chocolates and a charcuterie board. different types of cheeses with honey and jams and meat for him. we laugh at weird jokes we make, play card games, maybe do arts and crafts together and watch the sunset. maybe watch the stars too. bonus to be near a river running quietly the whole time.

11. black iced coffee!

12. hard question to answer. i generally really dislike the idea that my passions have to intertwine with unhealthy capitalistic methods just to make ends meet. …i know there’s more optimistic ways to view that but i’m completely indifferent about pursuing a conventional idea of a career. i don’t have time or connections to do it but if possible something involving freelance art commissions or comics would be cool.

13. i don’t have this.

14. tofu pho easily! i can never get tired of it.

15. year of the tiger. tigers are cute but i wish it was rabbit!

16. i like knitting, baking and journaling.

17. i been to some pretty ordinary places really. i’ve been to quite a bit of the southern east coast of america and then to michigan and los angeles. thats about it.

18. i think i’d love to go to finland or japan.

19. japanese, french, finnish, russian and spanish.

20. just english, i can understand a considerable but small amount of spanish or japanese.

21. it’s hard to say… i really like all for different reasons but maybe spring at the moment.

22. i love stuffed animals. i own many like my melody, bunnies, an octopus cat, a teddy i had since 2005, and rilakkuma just to name a few.

23. i never had the former so tofu spaghetti for me.

24. being able to very easily recognize what year a piece of media came from.

25. i’ll go with a cute golden dagger with flowers and a bunny on it.

26. a rustic prep type of aesthetic i suppose. i definitely have it!

27. any kind of bunnies, giant african snail, puffins, panda bears, ducks, flamingos, frogs, and dogs.

28. right now i would probably say soap and sweat.

29. funny question, i don’t think i do. i very much value peace.

30. 4!

31. no!!!

32. i love both… so much… black coffee or cappuccino and green tea or chamomile… so lovely…

33. floral, strawberry, vanilla, warm apple, or coco butter.

34. don’t remind me… probably south park during 2010 to 2015.

35. 3rd, 7th, 10th, 16th, and my 23rd and 24th i suppose.

36. frankie foster!

37. ami from hi hi puffy amiyumi, frida suraez from el tigre, raggedy ann from raggedy ann and andy a musical adventure, and maybe lum from urusei yatsura and shantae.

38. i can’t answer this… ohhh ok i’ll try.

1. aguas de marco by elis regina

2. boranda by sergio mendes

3. l’elephant by tom tom club

4. sudden death by quelle chris

5. good days by sza

39. coffee, matcha and birthday batter!

40. my current wishlist is a customized cute stationery set, handheld vacuum, king sized bed set, more skirts, leggings, sweaters and crop tops, lotions, oils, dress shoes and sneakers, more cute socks and panties and some rugs and movie posters.

[void-dust-muffin]

called out by @egg-exe to list my favorite character from 10 different fandoms.

I. Do not remember names. And I refuse to look anything up. we'll see how this goes.

1) Kal'Tsit from arknights. I've been low key obsessing over the game for a while now, and Kal is definitely one of the coolest characters. Storied past, cold demeanor belying genuine care and kindness for everyone under her, Mon3tr, the team that made her did a good job and she really just exemplifies the strength of the game in general. But I can talk to the moon and back about how stupid good the writing for arknights is, especially considering it's a gacha mobile game, so ill move on

2) Neopolitan from rwby. I fell in love with rwby's setting all the way back when I first watched it. Its unique mix of fantasy and technopunk drew me in and its character concepts have kept me there ever since. Neo probably the most. A mute character being the wisecracking villain's muscle and making her shorter than literally the rest of the cast? Peak. If only they made a character to go with the cool moves.

3) Princess Zelda in Breath of the Wild. Sweetheart's trying her best and facing frustration at every turn. Somebody hug her I'm begging you. (it's me, the sweetheart is her but also me)

4) Jafar Fire Emblem 7. Played the game years ago, loved his character design and his class(crits go brrrrr), but his story is the real selling point. The way he interacts with Nino is so sweet and I have such a soft spot for both of them(technically illegal two faves from one fandom oops).

I had the next one and then I lost it uhhhhh not the one I had but we'll go with

5) I was going to say a different character from portal but then I remembered the boy: Space Core.

6) Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist. Her relationship with the major is so heartfelt and the writer did them so well. If you've never watched it go and do that cuz it's just so well put together.

7) Padparadsha from Houseki no Kuni. God that manga is a train wreck. Phos you walking disaster. I love it. Anywho, pad is an interesting character in an already very interesting cast of characters. Their entire existence, teetering between waking and immobility is an exploration of how much of the gem is required for them to function. how much them can be removed before they just. cease.

8) Waymond from Everything Everywhere All At Once. First off, if you haven't watched the movie, go see it. Second, damn I didn't think anyone would actually read this far. Waymond is such a wholesome man he changes the way the woman going through the infinite possibilities of the multiverse thinks. He finds joy in everything he does and shares it with everyone around him. Not because he's ignorant of the struggles of life, because with happiness they become easier. And the man that played him is just as sweet. At the Oscar's when it was announced as best picture he went up on stage too and was hugging everyone. I would die for him.

9) Finn from the star wars sequel trilogy. As bad as they were, when the force awakens came out I remember seeing it and being excited to see what they would do with a stormtrooper main character. And then they didn't do anything, wasting all of his potential. But if there's one thing I learned from rwby, it's that someone else was just as disappointed and wrote a fanfiction exploring what canon didn't.

And now time for the niche reach.

10) Maven from the web novel Save the Demon King. Maven is the eponymous demon king, a near mythical figure in setting and the last demon alive. He is such a fun character in a fun setting that is very well written. I refuse to say more except for go read it. It's free on tapas and very good.

Honorable Mention:

I did think of Hades the game as a possible fandom but everyone in it is too good. I can't choose. the short list is half the hub area characters and at least three of the gods on top of that

fuckin hell theres an hour down the drain. gotta keep the chain going so uhhhhh @krindenium you're the only other human that I know on this site.

[secretcircuit]

for the end of the year ask...3/9/11/18 if any of them seem fun :)

hehehe :> thank u

3 - favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

ooh ... i branched out & listened to a bunch more bands/artists than i have in the past. probably the duo ic3peak is my favorite. i listened to them a lot (so much that they were my 2nd most listened artist this year hehe)... king woman is also up there, plus some indie metal projects like Distend & SEED

9 - best month for you this year?

this has been the best year i've had in a while, which makes it hard to choose, but im going to say july! i was farming, i took a week off from work just to draw comics and read, and i started learning to play hockey for the first time! plus i love the summer very dearly. so july!!

11 - something you want to do again next year?

i would love love love to work on the farm again. working on the farm, even just one day a week, really brought me back to myself - being able to connect with the other volunteers, trying to keep plants alive through non-ideal growing conditions, sweating in the sun, getting my hands dirty... farming helped me feel connected to people & helped me feel more like a person <3

18 - a memorable meal this year?

i really like this question :> it's hard to answer! i have 2 answers - when i got pho from the place where i used to be a regular before i moved... i came home and ate it out of my favorite ceramic bowl (with a lovely octopus on it)... it was so savory and delicious... & then eating ramen with a close friend of mine when they visited me after top surgery. i felt giddy and happy to share a meal with them, and the ramen was tasty :')

ask me about my year?

[marvelmusing]

I posted 884 times in 2022

That's 704 more posts than 2021!

553 posts created (63%)

331 posts reblogged (37%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@becauseicantthinkwritings

@dreamlandcreations

@marvelmusing

@stardustmorozov

@dearmantis

(my mutuals ❤️ and myself)

I tagged 814 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#billy russo - 390 posts

#billy russo x reader - 321 posts

#ben barnes - 321 posts

#billy russo the punisher - 247 posts

#billy russo imagine - 240 posts

#billy russo x female reader - 224 posts

#billy russo x you - 220 posts

#billy russo x y/n - 220 posts

#the punisher au - 191 posts

#aleksander morozova - 184 posts

(can you guess who was this year’s hyper-fixation?)

Longest Tag: 111 characters

#this man faces centuries of his people being killed for existing and i’m supposed to be happy when he fails????

(⬆️ of course this is me ranting about Aleksander)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

His Smile

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Agent Madani expresses too much interest in your boyfriend for your liking. Billy unknowingly provides you with a reminder that he’s yours.

Word Count: 644

My Masterlist

“Have I done something to you Agent Madani?” She glances up at you briefly before returning her interest to the files in front of her.

“Not that I can recall, why?” You press your lips into a hard line, slipping your hands into your pockets.

“The unthinkable happens. Homeland security runs out of snipers, and you pick a civilian consultant to assist in your op?” She sets her file down, finally meeting your eyes.

“So this is about Mr Russo.”

See the full post

702 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#4

Like Calls to Like

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Shadow Summoner!Reader

Summary: After an unsuccessful skiff journey through the Fold, you’re brought before the Black General.

My Masterlist

A prickle of discomfort crawls over your skin as the small group of Grisha stare at you. Their bright, neatly pressed kefta’s are a stark contrast to the remains of the bloodstained First Army uniform you’re wearing. There’s a war table in the centre of the tent, and standing in front of it is the infamous Black General. The Darkling that your mother always warned you about. Because you were a Darkling too.

He turns, and you’re struck by how dark his eyes are. His gaze sweeps over you briefly, though you feel the heat of his eyes, before he glances around the tent.

“Who actually saw what happened?”

You look around the tent as well, waiting for someone to step forward.

See the full post

793 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

#3

Fear and Dreams

Pairing: Morpheus x Fear Spirit!Reader (gender neutral)

Summary: Morpheus has reclaimed his sand, and his helm. His ruby has fallen into the hands of a being capable of driving humans to madness. But you’re not what Morpheus expected.

A/N: Phobetor is actually the name of a Greek god but I’ve decided to alter it so that Phobetor’s are beings of fear (like how Erotes are the beings of love)

“So,” Matthew starts, fluttering his wings as he settles in front of Morpheus’ feet. “What now?”

The King of Dreams glances down at him,

“My ruby. It was stolen from a mortal by a Phobetor.”

“Pho-what?”

“A Phobetor.” Morpheus observes the landscape of Hell that surrounds them as he speaks, “Something mankind has often called a Frightener. They are known to filter into the human mind and create terrifying visions.”

See the full post

946 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

#2

White Picket Fence

Pairing: Billy Russo x Fem!Reader

Summary: Billy and you have to go undercover as a newly married couple in the suburbs, and you’re certain your house is bugged so it’s 24/7 of you two acting like a married couple.

Warnings [18+]: smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, little bit of wife kink

A/N: I wrote this very quickly so sorry if there’s loads of mistakes, also there might be some more from this AU at some point??

My Masterlist

“Come on sweetheart, cum around my cock.” Your grip on Billy slips, as your mind goes fuzzy, and you lose yourself to the sensation of Billy fucking hard into you. “Nice and tight so I cum inside you.”

Your body is practically folded in half, with your entire pussy exposed to Billy as he thrusts into you.

“You gonna hold my cum inside you sweetheart? Gonna be a good little wife for me and make sure it takes?”

See the full post

1,045 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Flower Crown

Pairing: Morpheus x GN!Reader

Summary: You spend some quiet time with the Lord of Dreams, and make Morpheus a flower crown.

A/N: this could be seen as a follow up to my other Morpheus fic A New Start

My Masterlist

Out of all the places of beauty in the Dreaming, Morpheus’ throne room is one of your absolute favourites. The glorious colours of the outside sky reflecting through the three large windows that run down the length of the wall behind Morpheus’ throne. The cathedral-like features that give the palace it’s sense of majesty. But your favourite aspect has to be the smooth marble steps which lead to Morpheus’ throne.

You love sitting there during the day, whether that’s with your head buried in a book from Lucienne or just observing the folk from the Dreaming that wish to visit their King.

Morpheus is also particularly fond of the steps, and often joins you. It’s instances such as these that you find yourself longing for, as Morpheus tends to favour the lower steps, meaning that you can admire him without attracting too much attention.

See the full post

1,848 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

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[luhhhsette]

I miss you. I miss eating breakfast at ihop and I miss breakfast at that pancake house. I miss eating ramen in march right before I left for the first time and I miss eating pho time and time again. I miss nordstrom artichoke dip and better buzz coffee. I miss eating conveyor belt sushi although I could put you on to even better. I miss trying out bone marrow and I miss my first ever seafood boil. I miss going to sprouts for the sandwiches, and I miss dipping dots at the zoo. I miss Colombian food on imperial avenue. I miss it so fucking much. I miss soju and ramen and I even miss having you take care of me while I threw up. Gross. I miss Korean bbq fuck I miss it so fucking much. Our first dinner. Our anniversary dinner. I miss tacos by the border, they were the best I’ve ever had. I miss boba I miss the taro and the wintermelon. I miss popcorn when we watched Spiderman and dune 2. I miss dinners at your grandma’s and your moms and I miss pisco in your yard. I miss those empanadas and I miss you throwing the olives in the dirt like you were a little kid. I miss shopping at hmart and I even miss target. All those snacks that I never fucking finished. I miss the liquor shop near the kings inn and I miss drinking my wine. Then you came here. More time at hmart, more iced coffees, more snacks. Koreatown and peeps kitchen in my new favorite neighborhood. Hotpot. In your city and mine. It’s better here but who cares I just love you and I want you to come back. Not here or even there just to me only me. I love you im going insane without you. Where do I eat now? How I could I even forget those potato skins and mimosas? Trying new shit because I wanted to be like you. Trying durian here and pickled garlic there. Kimbap at windansea beach and sandwiches in prospect park. Soju is not the same without you. Eating is not the same without you. There’s no joy. No one to send pictures to. No one to enjoy it with. Oysters and in n out, peach jelly and crab Rangoons, espresso martinis with my dad and those Brussel sprouts too. This shit is so fucking unfair why did you have to let me go? Nothing tastes the same.

[crystal-in-nagasaki]

crystal NOT in nagasaki, thailand: part two

Hello and welcome back to part two of my time in Thailand! I wanted to finish up Thailand in only two parts, but I think I have too much to share, so there will probably be one more small part after this one. Thanks for sticking with me!

The next morning after our night out in Bangkok's gay bar district, we headed to an indoor floating market on the ground floor of a big shopping mall called ICONSIAM. Traditional floating markets are popular all over south Asia, with goods being sold from boats along a river or canal. I didn't visit a real floating market, but the imitation floating market at the mall was really cool and creatively designed.

There were tons of stalls selling food and drinks inside the "floating market." One stall sold skewers of alligator meat, and had a cooked alligator strung up at the stall to prove it.

I ordered pad thai, a traditional stir fried noodle dish topped with crushed peanuts. This is my favorite order at Thai restaurants in the US, so I was excited to finally try the real thing!

I also got mango sticky rice as a sweet treat. It's a dessert made by mixing sweet coconut milk with glutinous rice and mango. It's very tasty!

After this we explored the ICONSIAM mall and did more souvenir shopping. The mall was really fancy and beautifully designed. From the terrace you could have a beautiful view of the city and the mall building.

On one of the floors there was a Monet exhibition. I didn't enter, but they had some beautiful flower displays at the entrance.

From there we headed down to the riverfront to ride a boat along the Chao Phraya River, which passed by several temples. Since we had very little time to see many things, we were able to view many beautiful temples from the river boat, as well as get a lovely view of the city.

After disembarking from the boat, my friends looked for a cafe to rest, but I wanted to fit in as much sightseeing as I could in our short time, so I walked to the Bangkok National Museum. Unfortunately when I arrived it was close to closing, but I was able to enter the Buddhaisawan Chapel at the front of the grounds.

Inside was the Phra Buddha Sihing image of Buddha, which according to Wikipedia is the second most revered image of Buddha in all of Thailand. The walls were all hand-painted with thirty two scenes of Buddha's life and hundreds of images of devas, which are enlightened demigod beings, all turned towards the Buddha to pay their respects. I really enjoy Buddhist spaces and the peace I feel in them, so I was glad to find so many of these spaces in Thailand.

My friends and I next agreed to meet up at the temple Wat Pho, so I flagged down a tuk tuk driver to take me there and enjoyed a nice solo ride to the temple.

Wat Pho is one of the highest grade royal temples in Thailand and boasts the largest collection of Buddha images in Thailand, including its huge indoor reclining Buddha.

According to Wikipedia, it's also the earliest known center for public education in Thailand. It houses a school of medicine and is considered the birthplace of the Thai massage, which is still taught at the temple.

Many Thai temples, including this one, have beautiful and impressive towers called chedi or stupa, which typically hold sacred relics or remains of important people, such as notable monks or kings. They were so incredibly intricate and beautiful to look at.

One of the main attractions at Wat Pho is the Phra Ubosot Chapel, which holds the Phra Buddha Theva Patimakorn image of Buddha. Overhead is a nine-tiered umbrella representing the authority of Thailand and beneath the Buddha is a three-tiered pedestal containing the ashes of King Rama I. Many people visit the hall to pray and hold ceremonies. It's considered the most sacred building in the Wat Pho complex.

After appreciating the beauty and serenity of this gorgeous temple, my friends and I headed to a nearby rooftop restaurant on the river to have dinner. We couldn't have picked a better place and time. The restaurant sat across the river from the beautiful Wat Arun temple, the view of which we were able to enjoy as the sun set behind it.

As for food, we had green curry, mango salad, and spiced watermelon, among other dishes. Despite the refreshing name and look, mango salad and spiced watermelon were actually quite spicy! Thailand loves its spices.

Later that evening we headed to Chinatown to take in the nightlife and enjoy various street stalls. We stopped at one stall serving coconut ice cream which was singed with a torch. It was cute and delicious, and the stall worker was very friendly.

We also found a stand selling khanom buang, which looks a bit like a taco. It's made of a crispy crepe topped with meringue and salty or sweet toppings like coconut, fried egg, or scallions.

Some of us also took advantage of the many cheap massage parlors and got Thai massages. I had never had a Thai massage before and didn't really know what it entailed, so I was very surprised to find the masseuse all but trying to break me in half. I even let out a surprised and disgruntled sound into the silent room when she pushed all the air out of my lungs, which was embarrassing. I was a bit sore after, but I do think overall it did my muscles some good. Tourists beware: Thai massages are NOT the same as the pleasant and relaxing oil massages back home.

I also convinced one of my friends to put her feet into a doctor fish tank with me (or at least, she paid to try it and then squealed in terror for 15 minutes without actually putting her feet in haha). These can be found in Japan too, so I had tried it before. You put your feet into a tank of the small fish and they swarm your feet and eat off all the dead skin. It tickles like crazy, but it makes your feet nice and smooth after. It's actually illegal to have this treatment in many parts of the US because of ethical concerns for the fish and also because of the risk of the fish spreading skin infections, although it's been found that the infection rate is incredibly low. I think it's possible to enjoy doctor fish safely and ethically through a trustworthy spa, so make sure to do your research beforehand if you would like to try it!

This ended our second full day in Thailand. After this, I enjoyed one more day of travelling, but I'll put it into one last part before finally wrapping up this long series. Thanks for sticking around and stay tuned for the final part in Thailand!

[elchatojay88]

Well today was a decent day. I went to go meet my friend Jessica’s new born baby. Bought her a present before hand. She loved it. The baby is cute.

I also went grocery shopping with mom and then we were gonna go have lunch at my aunts house but my mom thought I’d be too much of a hassle buying for everyone so we decided to just get Burger King for us 3. My her and my dad. It was nice to have lunch with them.

And that pretty much covered my entire day. Tommorrow I told her I wanna eat some pho. I’ve been craving it for a while. I’ve just been avoiding it because lately all I crave are noodles. And I don’t think that’s healthy. But it’s been a while since I’ve had it so I think it should be ok.

My anxiety seems to have calmed down a bit. My desire to reach out to Alex has also subsided. Although we have been playing tag on tik tok viewing each others profiles. The truth is I do really like him. And I wish so badly I could be with him. But that’s just it. Even if we were speaking I can still only see him once a week at most. And I just can’t handle that anymore.

Tommorrow I plan to go to the gym. I need to start focusing on myself. On my own life. I can’t continue to expect a man to save me. To save me from my boring life.

I need to go to the gym. I need to start making goals. And I also need to lose the fear of doing things alone. It is true that people that are alone don’t truly enjoy their loneliness. They have people they use when they need them. But maybe that comes with time. For the time being I need to practice being alone and actually enjoying myself. I need to know in my heart I’m ok by myself. I don’t need a man to be authentically happy.

[lifewithoutmeds]

January 21, 2023

hellooooo tumblr.

things are going ok. spent most of the day with lorena, and it was great! last tuesday i got word that there was a dog at the burbank shelter that they thought would benefit from fostering, so after work i went with lorena, and picked up Kiwi, a 5-year old siberian husky, from the burbank animal shelter.

so far she’s been pretty great. she snapped at me once when i got near her food/bed, she lunges at small dogs, and had one pee accident, but other than that, she’s been great. it’s been kinda nice having another presence in the condo, and also nice to think that this is a better environment for her than the shelter, so it’s been good. lorena also is great with kiwi and loves having her around and is doing more than her share of taking her out, and training her.

quick recap of the last week or so.

last weekend: mirna’s baby’s bday BCD tofu house with anjali pho and kimchi pancakes with lana and friends scandinavian exhibit at LACMA and lunch with rhiannon

it was a solid weekend and i was exhausted afterward, and i think i either napped for a few hours or slept that night for like 12 hours, but i recall thinking i must’ve been rather exhausted from the weekend.

it felt nice i guess to change up the scenery and see new/different parts of town and new/different people. 

tuesday - thursday i worked, and wednesday i came home a bit earlier to WFH because i was anxious about kiwi being home alone without supervision (lorena had been watching her/walking her but went to her aunt’s house at 1) and so instead of getting off at 5ish, i got off at 3ish so i could be around/observe her.

since then i’ve gotten a doggy cam and have observed that she mostly just lies around or chews her rawhide/bone when she’s not out and about on her walks with us.

wednesday i also got randomly and suddenly sick, though with what it’s still hard to tell. it felt like a suddenly onset cold, but taking allertec has made most if not all of the symptoms subside, so it could just be a random case of severe allergies (hopefully not to kiwi).

this weekend has been pretty great.

friday i had a doctor’s appointment in the morning, and then i got an oil change, then came home and checked up on lorena and kiwi, then went out again at lunch to ozawa with lana and jenny unni for lana’s promotion celebration. afterward i drove jenny unni back to koreatown and then stopped by pac city bank to sign my new CD account thing, then stopped at the local korean bakery for snacks before heading back. was able to hang out with kiwi and lorena for a bit before she headed out to work.

saturday (today) has been good so far. took kiwi out on a 50 minute hike in the morning while lorena slept, then came back, read a bit, napped, and then we had breakfast together and decided to try kiwi out at the atwater flea market, but upon seeing her overstimulated and lunging at small dogs and realizing that there were too many small dogs at the market for us to reasonably deal with, just took her on a walk around the neighborhood before heading back. i dropped lorena off at the mall so she could buy some work basics from Zara and i came back home and made some coffee, then picked her up and introduced her to King Taco, where we had tacos and sopes. she expressed a few times how much she was enjoying the day and we joked that as her friend, i’d love for her to skip out on work and hang out all day, but that as her financial advisor, i must advise her to keep working. she’s currently taking a nap while kiwi is tearing up her bone, and i feel fairly calm and at peace. it’s been a good day.

it kind of makes me wonder though. i’m not in a relationship, but i wonder if this is all i want. occasional companionship, a person to walk the dog with, a person to go to the flea market with, a person to bring a pastry home to. am i settling? or do i just get comfortable when there’s no chase? i don’t feel as if i’m playing second fiddle, in fact i know i’m not first, and i probably only hung out with her today because i saw via ig stories that reyna is at disneyland with her mom, but that doesn’t make me feel less than, or secondary, if anything, it makes me feel almost ... comforted knowing how little i need. i feel less anxious, less needy, less attached. i’m ok with this, and i’m ok with that. 

today was a good day. i was out with a good friend, had good walks with a good dog, ate some good food, and even had time to read and journal. i could see how some might think this was boring, but it was one of those “nothing days” that i’ve grown to appreciate, because i know that these are days that might be easy to forget, but nice to remember.

[sinning-23]

Favorite Foods Headcannon

This is me trying to cope lmao also... let's just assume that the food in current times exist in this universe lmao

Silco

n -cigars and battery acid

I'm joking

-he likes soup

-has a little bit of a sweet tooth so he won't hesitate to get gelato or sorbet cause he bougie like that

-doesn't do fast food....only if Jinx asks then he will very reluctantly get her a happy meal.

-will always share half of his food with you

it's a habit he's picked up having grown up in the lanes and food being limited to him. He's learned to share at least half of all his food no matter what.

just don't bring it up to him lol he doesn't like having you point it out.

-salmon with asparagus and a glass of wine (so bougie)

-MATERIAL GORLLLLL

Sevika

-really like cheeseburgers

-lettuce, tomatoes, onion, everything

-loves breakfast sandwiches too when she has time to eat them

-isn't a huge soda fan, prefers water or liquor

-can't stand strawberry flavored stuff

-thinks kiwi and dragonfruit are gross. its the texture and the seeds she hates

-licks her fingers after she's done and will make sure to stare at you when she does

"It tastes good."

Jinx

-likes fruit platters

-doesn't like much of anything else, she's a picky eater

-gagged trying to eat broccoli

-carrots are the only exception with vegetables

-"jinx you need other healthy foods, not just fruit"

"never!"

-likes candy a lot...like it's getting bad how much candy she eats in a day.

she doesn't even realize it until she looks at all the wrappers scattered around her

-peanut butter & jelly sandwiches 24/7

Ekko

-spaghetti is his go-to

-likes breadsticks

-can have at least 7 in one sitting

-please keep him away from the breadsticks

-lives off top ramen

-is a sucker for Japanese food

-doest finish all his food sometimes and feels bad about being wasteful

-ben & jetty's after(only sometimes)

Viktor

-has the biggest sweet tooth.

-will eat a lot of pasties and baked goods

-put his soup in a bread bowl

-can't enjoy sushi no matter how much he likes it

-found out he had a shellfish allergy unfortunately

-likes smoothies, hates brain freeze

-hates sharing food

-again with the sweets, his favorite things to have are macarons, cheesecake or a chocolate croissant

Vi

-pussy

in kidding, I'm kidding.........sorta

-loves seafood

-will try almost anything

-was probably the one that ate what all the other kids mixed together on the lunch tray

-really enjoys king crab and lobster

-will eat lemons like its nothing

Vander

-steak, bbq, sloppy joes (they're easy to make)

-need I say more?

-hates sweets, they make his stomach hurt

-besides his blood sugar is already insanely high

-really likes when you cook, he will eat anything you make in all honesty

-will sneak a Twix once every blue moon

Mel

-is also a very picky eater

-I'm thinking dino nuggets and macaroni are always her go-to.

-it's hard tho because they always sever the weirdest more expensive cuisine at the parties she goes to

-will always ask "what's in this?" before eating something

-doesn't like salty foods

-has a thing for sauces believe it or not...she loves a good sauce

Caitlyn

-kinda like mel but less picky and loves the fancy shit

-likes pho

-is a sucker for fusion foods (Chinese/Mexican grill or something like that)

-always has tea with her meals, she can't stand cold drinks

-grilled cheese on cold days.

-will gag at certain textures

-won't go out of her way to have something sweet after a meal.

-forces herself to finish her whole plate, she thinks its rude not to

[vixenpen]

(Ignore this or not choice is yours) Do you mind doing a mafia Kirishima x Black Thick reader on their wedding night? (Again you can ignore this request) Thx🤗

Mine Forever (Mafia! Kirishima x Thicc Black Reader)

The red iPhone on the night stand blared, signaling that there was business to be handled.

Still, Eijirou Kirishima’s mouth never left the messy goodness between your plump thighs.

“Haaa~ahhh, god~”

“Yeah? Like that, Mrs. Kirishima?” Your husband teased. “Thaaat’s it, mami.”

Moans, taunts, and the slick sounds of pleasure floated in the humid air of the honey moon suite.

The phone fell quiet.

“Eijiii...” you whined, clutching your man’s head between your legs.

The phone rang again.

After the third time, it was beginning to get distracting.

“Baby-“ you piped up trying to capture your husband’s attention, “mmm~th-the pho-aahhh!”

Lustful Ruby eyes raised to meet yours. Your husband slid his tongue along his lips to taste your essence.

“You really think I give a damn about a fuckin’ phone call right now?”

He picked the phone up off the nightstand and in a quirk hardened grip he snapped it in half.

Your eyes widened and your pussy clenched.

Oh god that was hot.

“Oh?” Kirishima quirked a pierced brow and chuckled. “You liked that, huh, mama? That pussy got tight as hell right then.

His gruff laugh shot straight to your throbbing cunt. Kirishima sat up until he was hovering over you, and your arms linked around his neck; fingers caressing over the hard muscle and old scars of his back.

“You love it when I get rough don’t you?” He kissed you. “Then let me get a little rough with you, yeah?”

Huge hands, strong and calloused, wrapped beneath your dimpled ass and you got against the tall, strong body of your new husband as he stood up from the bed.

This was part of the reason why you loved this man so much.

His power.

The power he held over you.

The power he held over everyone else.

Kirishima slammed your back against the wall so hard the picture hanging over the king sized bed jumped.

You gasped. He grinned, sharp and dangerous.

“What have I always told you from the beginning, baby?”

He quizzed.

You were still trying to catch your breath as you stammered back: “That I-I c-come first...”

“That’s right.”

His lengthy manhood plunged into your tight grip. You screamed as it stretched your gushy walls and sent fiery pleasure rushing through your body.

“Fuck!” He hissed as he settled inside you. “Fuckkk, you’re so~ahh~fucking perfect. You come first in every way.”

He groaned thickly, snapping his hips. Every stroke caressed your creamy cunt and made pleasure explode through your body.

Kirishima kept one hand firmly on your juicy thigh to keep you up while the other squeezed your plump breast. His lips latched around the fat, chocolate nub and he stroked his tongue around it.

“Eijiii~” you cried out as he bounced you against his length; your breasts being teased and toyed with on his tongue.

Your own tongue snaked out and you licked your own nipple as well; tongue dancing around the sensitive areola.

Kirishima smirked. God you were such a little freak. That was apart of the reason he loved you.

“Kiss me, y/n.” He commanded.

You did as you were told, feeling your pussy spasm around his dick.

“What did I say~” he muttered between kisses, “when we took our vows, baby?” He asked.

His pace was unrelenting as he fucked you deep, fast, and hard.

“Y-y-y~aahh~you said...I’m yours~forever~”

Kirishima pressed his sweaty forehead to yours, red strands of hair falling into his face as he gazed back at you.

“Say it again.”

“I’m yours forever.”

“Again.”

He sped up, balls slapping your ass with every stroke.

“Ahh~I’m-I’m yours forever, daddy. I’m yours forever!”

“Damn right,” your husband smirked against your lips. “Don’t you ever forget that, y/n.”

(Idk how I feel about this one. It feels like I was just writing to write. Doesn’t feel like my best. Anyway, back to hiatus after this week)

[pharawee]

Ohhh, can I ask several Top 5s?? Top 5 books. Top 5 countries you want to travel to. Top 5 bl shows. Top 5 dishes/recipes... Haha, sorry for being greedy. >_< Hope you have a nice sunday!

Hiii & thank you! ♥ And of course! If you don't mind my faves changing like, weekly, and probably not being v accurate lmao

Let's see...

Top 5 books (ok so these are probably more permanent - I read all of these ages ago but they influenced me a lot)

David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

Stephen King, The Stand

Colin Dexter, The Remorseful Day

Oliver Sacks, The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat (not a novel but Oliver Sacks' writing is amazing)

Top 5 countries I want to visit

The gf and I had planned to visit Dublin before covid hit so I guess that's still on the agenda once things have calmed down some more

Chiang Mai looks so beautiful and I really want to go there some day 🥺

Greece & Croatia because I'v never been and that is an outrage

I'd love to go hiking in Japan and just enjoy as much food as I can tbh lmao

Top 5 BL shows (oh no don't make me choose)

Love By Chance (because it's one of the first BLs I watched so I'll always have a soft spot for it)

Our Days (it's still running but it's so beautifully done)

ITSAY & IPYTM

Not Me

Something in my Room

There's lots and lots of other shows I love (Manner of Death, 1000 Stars, Bad Buddy...) but I think I prefer quieter, drawn out stories that... kind of linger on its characters.

Top 5 dishes

Pho (I can't get enough of it atm but I haven't made it myself yet... but the place I go to always gives me extra so no complaints here)

Pumpkin Soup (now the only reason why I'm looking forward to autumn)

Green Curry (I have a lot of food intolerances but for some reason I can eat spicy so ever since I made that discovery I've been going to town lmao)

Tom Kha Gai (yeah ok I bought a Thai cookbook last year can u tell)

Also, for some reason kimchi and mashed potatoes. Idk I tried it once because I had leftovers and it's so good? Like, I know it's about as sophisticated as rice and egg but it gives the same level of warm comfiness

[josiebelladonna]

the eclipse fics in a nutshell

sleepless eyes, closed to light: oddly tender, pho is sexy, slightly heartbreaking 

devil’s dance: fog, marty friedman made into a vampire anyone?, gay omegaverse

venus in furs: louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves 

angel’s trumpet: vampire alex, doing it on the floor, turning blue, “good boy”

frangipani: invitation to the woods, joey is into bdsm… turned a lot of type o headcanons sideways… heh hehe hoho 😅

the cuckoo clock: alex is soft, coupl’a boys doing it doggy style before breakfast 

mise en abyme: my insecurity over sex toys put into a humorous perspective, mark accidentally gets into it

dreaming of you: alex’s full, soft voice put to sensual use whilst ensconced in velvet and the black of night. eric is also hungry.

diamonds and guns: FUCKING EPIC, there’s a car accident and then alex gets a stripper pole, leather teddies, and body glitter. chuck also says probably my favorite thing i’ve written in a fic ever, “you sexy little matzo ball.”

suicide blonde: eric and florence confessing and getting hammered. bah-BOOM!

camera obscura: lily nicks the skol-camera and takes a bunch of naughty pics to surprise alex and it goes oh so wrong. rob gets some “free porn”, too 😂

monolith: alex brushing his hair in the mirror and being a bad boy 👀

my girlfriend’s girlfriend: hot metal and superheated water, a sex bot?, two girls and a bad plan that will lead to saving alex. sounds like a lost wayans brothers movie and what i get for growing up in the 2000s

the moth: lily hiding in the closet and watching her kid sister nibble on a couple of filipino boys. good lord that sounds wrong 😆

covalent bonds: i shit you the fuck not, the idea for that one came to me in the middle of the night as i was falling asleep. i described it as “terry gilliam directed a sex in the city episode only way more gay”

tiny bubbles: alex taking a bath and francine just waltzes right in to use the toilet. discussion about feeling gross and dirty in the genitalia. the real tension exists with them, after all (and also alex and eric).

magic stick: eric and a pregnant florence hiding in an extra large coffin in a mortuary from killer robots. this one is weirdly wholesome?

night of the witch: two words: slutty alex.

rattlesnake shake: krista missing joey because she will always love him and alex thinking of krista because he wants someone to love him.

bailar conmigo: joey and alex doing a very vague dirty dancing homage (i somehow managed to avoid using “nobody puts baby in the corner”)

basil hallward blues: a roundabout reference to dorian gray, with joey being dorian gray and chuck being basil but also lord henry (like blood from a stone is an odd little homage to dorian gray, because i love that book so much)

effets de soir: alex is by himself and peter calls, and thus ensues a very interesting conversation (i also unpacked some more type o headcanons, probably for good this time, that tag is awful quiet right now 😅)

disciples of the watch: remember that episode of family guy where lois gets fat and peter wants her fatter (or that episode of malcolm in the middle where lois gets fat and hal wants her fatter)? yeah… 😏

cosa del pantano: a de facto double date in yosemite and probably the weirdest shoutout to gary paulson’s hatchet books known to man.

fresh deadly roses: alex resisting the urge to screw chuck silly… while lilian is sound asleep right there right next to him. king diamond’s fairies also may or may not be aphrodisiacs.

man of golden words: the eerie inhabitants ‘verse set in the mid-2000s, with flip phones and everything. need i say more 😜

the sensual world: slutty alex, meet slutty jeff.

blood for poppies: t.s.o. era alex sans the t.s.o. part. featuring an eclipse!

last day in paradise: sending up a similar thing with disciples, but in tahoe. also jeff is on a bicycle and being a good boy for alex 👀

summer in the city: alex is so cold from his state of undeath that lily wants to play with his thermostat- that is the worst thing i’ve ever said, what’re you doing?

dust in the wind: shirtless joey, alex in tight jeans and showing his tummy so much love, pumpkins, candy, a tiny knife, and a big ass nod to the exorcist. any questions?

[pocketminstrel]

i had one of my favorite weekends ever. i feel so happy. present. open and free. writing this while listening to “yellow is the color of her eyes” feels so fitting. i want to cling to every last bit of this feeling…. i feel like i love myself a little bit more after this weekend. i love my life a little bit more.

this is the happiest i’ve been in a while, and i’m trying to savor every bit of it. i feel nourished, supported, and i feel like i’m growing, learning, HEALING, being vulnerable, being open to the worlds gifts, being inspired by friends and TV shows (euphoria, INSECURE!) and scenes in new york.

earlier this week, i had felt the most out of control and beaten up perhaps that id ever felt in a long time. longer than i can remember in feeling. i managed to rebuild some strength towards the end of the week. my friends and family really pulled me out of some rash and panicked thoughts. ashley has been really loving and supportive this entire week when i’ve been at my lowest. elaine and umma too. their check-ins mean the world to me. being in the presence of friends makes me realize how much love is in my life, and how it feels just as good as romantic love. to be honest, platonic love is harder.

what i liked about it was - firstly - the lack of anxiety. i feel like in the last couple of years my anxiety & social anxiety really vanished away for the most part…. in this sense, aging is so great. im protective of my time, energy, and can be fully myself with people who see who i am and love who i am.

recounting everything i did:

friday, i got started applying to another job after a couple days of hard work putting my portfolio together earlier in the week.

i hadn’t slept too well so i hopped into bed for an hour and a half before dinner time to recharge just enough to make plans. i got some extremely yummy pho and salad at Di An Di (last minute plans with jon) and he gave me some really thoughtful advice / input on love and the andrew situation… plus general life stuff. it was really fun getting to know him a little bit more at dinner but especially at the wine bar. i liked that he was so curious about who i was. it felt good to feel special i guess, get asked so many questions. this gesture meant a lot. we talked about our siblings, how we grew up, our insecurities… it was really nice. i am so appreciative of his curious, reflective, and open nature. it reminds me a lot of myself. i think we make each other feel very seen.

after dinner we hopped to a wine bar and angela joined. it was great to see her after so long, and by that point in time i was pretty buzzed and ready to talk about anything and everything with even more excitement and presence than usual.

saturday morning, i hopped outta bed to see kara. we met up at and talked about how fucking hard it is to find the one. i am so grateful that she’s in my life. at brunch at king sikh tong, we caught up about our chaotic love lives. i realized that she’s been through a lot lately with love as well, also asking herself some of the same questions i have over the last few months. what do i need? what do i think i deserve? what do i accept or compromise on? afterwards, i hung out at her badass place in tribeca and said hello to her plants.

after brunch i trained to downtown brooklyn to pick up a bouquet of flowers for andrew. i helped the guy at the store arrange the flowers. it wasn’t the most beautiful assembly ever, but i liked that it had a piece of me in it for sure. i also didn’t want to hurt his feelings. it looked better in the wrapping paper than outside of it.

i then walked him, dropped of the flowers, then jogged to petit paulette to catch up with julia, who i haven’t seen in more than a week. i haven’t texted her much this week either. it was nice to catch up and feel her pure soul after a while. the way the sun came in from the windows at sunset was so warm and beautiful. we got a delicious cheese plate and zai joined us a little later on. we had a great time. i ended up running back to my place and zai met me there. she got ready for her date while i showered and got ready for my show. i ubered there and watched part of the show in a kinda male dominated side of the room, with a strange dude in front of my and some tall dudes surrounding me. when they for in the way of my view, these two butch black women came to my rescue, telling me that i didn’t deserve that. they made me feel very safe. though i ended up leaving eventually to the back of the room, then eventually, to the left back side of the room. something about that felt so safe immediately. i could feel that everyone was there for the show. they weren’t there to flex, be creepy, they loved vegyn as much as i did. many of them were alone as well. i learned a lot in that moment. about the kind of safety you can feel from body language and collective energy. the show was great and vegyn was so cute and quirky and hot. he started with some house/soul, before moving to some hip hop, then ending with his popular tunes. like It’s Nice to be Alive. it was really nice to be in the company of people like me, who share the same tastes. there were so many of us! it felt so nice bc i share my love for this artist w very few people.

i took the bus back home (L closures) and it came exactly on time. fell asleep pretty promptly because of how long and active my day was.

this morning (sunday), i spilled boricha all inside my lemaire bag but i’d like to think it’s fate that i needed to go back to my apartment because otherwise i would’ve been too far to potentially salvage my electronics.

i dropped off fan fan donuts to andrew’s place,y heart racing while doing so because i didn’t want him to notice me there. i ended up ringing his door bell then running away immediately! i then citi biked to brunch where julia ashley maddie and i had a fantastic afternoon. literally so much fun. julia got a free drink from the waiter who was a cutie but we were so stunned and unsure if it was a mistake or not that we probably made him feel a bit embarrassed. i especially was being pretty obnoxious i feel. but mostly because we were joking about how funny it would’ve been if she’d finished the drink before asking “was this for me?” hahaha i just cracked up thinking about it. she wrote her number down to the waiter and they had a short convo before we headed out. we ate some of the donuts i picked up at Littleneck outpost and the waiter there was such a cutie. loved his lil outfit. julia left him a little note to enjoy sardines together sometime. i was so in awe and inspired by her ballsy behavior.

but while we were there we ate some penis candy julia brought for us and continued to joke and enjoy some more. i took some gorgeous pictures of maddie and me and ash got some pics as well. i ended up getting a thank you text from andrew while i was there too. it made me happy that he wasnt being cold. it touched me actually.

after peeing at acre, me and maddie checked out a few vintage stores in the area and i actually ran into a lead from work. i think i made a good impression. we split and i made some spicy rigatoni when i got home which was so yummy! and some salad too, using the rest of my romaine. i started the first episode of the last season of INSECURE and god dam was it relatable. the late twenties/early thirties existentialism, maturity and wisdom but also still figuring shit up, was sooo relatable. something about the episode being placed in a college ten year reunion felt soooo fitting somehow. the theme of growth and simultaneous nostalgia. issa rae is such a gift to this world. the nostalgia in this episode oh my god. the laughter with friends, the narration that these friendships don’t come by all that often. after a weekend like mine these words really hit home. kelly’s narration towards the end of the episode on the radio show - my god. “how do you want to spend your time, be remembered, when you know something is coming to an end?” everyone that episode looked their best, so hot but mature and put together, more at ease with themselves, still themselves but loving themselves a bit more. compared to how crusty some of them looked in season one, seeing them thriving in their reunion really made me happy.

after that it posted some pics online and watched the season finale of euphoria with my roommates. although this season was so over the top, i was inspired by when cassie was telling her sister off that she never lived life, only watched it. and that’s why she could judge everyone. i actually would agree with that. i felt like i had been both of them before, more often lexie. watching and observing, learning, but not from experience. it inspired me to live more, just like i had been doing this weekend.