#i love pesterchum

[imdacreature]

me resisting the urge to go on pesterchum.online and do homestuck stuff:

[dykepaldi]

homestuck was so perfect for autistic teenagers bc it took characters being sorted into categories and having Attributes to its absolute extreme. forget four hogwarts houses, every character has their associated colour their zodiac sign their associated animal their dream planet their god tier class and aspect their typing quirk their pesterchum handle their weapon their planet of x and y, as well as each of them having a handful of other very quantifiable Personality Traits and Interests (e.g. this one is a clown this one is angry this one likes fashion this one is just rufio from hook for some reason) and THEN they all also have their respective ancestors and dancestors(?)(plucked that word from my memory) who have all of those things as WELL

and god not to mention the fucking quadrant system

as a 13-15 year old autistic kid i didnt even need homestuck to have a plot i just happily made a big big spreadsheet of character attributes in my brain

[soulstarrz]

my favorite past time is making pesterlogs based off of me and my bfs convos

[synthshenanigans]

is this where u got ur username from. chonny jash solmwit

Whaaat? Noooooooo, why would I ever base my username on some random nerds music? Nah, no, never. Not at all

That's crazy, that's such a crazy idea. I would NEVER do something like that

[charliesinfern0]

who is she

[hspolls]

serenity sweep

I can't believe this bug is making it all the way to the semifinals.

[eebie]

[eudaemonyy-blog]

PLS EVERYONE im on pchum every day pls talk to me

I think.. I think we should bring back pesterchum

Like what if we all used this instead of discord would that be fucked up or what

[cyber-corp]

I absolutely love the relationship between John and Rose, because of how well John’s gooberness and Rose’s wit gel together when they interact.

They ping-pong off each other's quips and jokes, but they still both care about each other. Definitely not a romantic relationship, more like a "i've known this person for so long that I can read them like an open book" kind of relationship. Pesterchums, even.

I want a fanfic where it’s just these two on a road trip or something.

[thewertsearch]

...Jake.

Alright, this sequence is rapidly devolving into a comedy sketch, and I’m having the time of my life. Jane is almost certainly being brainwashed by the troll Empress, Jake is being hypnotized by her boss, and you just know Bro's placronym is five pages from being revealed as Dick Scratch. This is a hilariously compromised session, and it hasn't even started yet.

What's next? Roxy Gl'bgolyb?

GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

I can’t articulate how funny it is that he still talks like an octogenarian.

Like... this kid was born in 1996. He's either doing this as a bit, or he got the accent from Jade, which is even funnier.

GG: I had been meaning to message you sooner actually, but I suppose in all the hubbub today, it plumb slipped my mind. GG: Which is a shocking fact on its lonesome, considering what I have to tell you! GT: Egad… GT: Loosens collar a bit.

Did you seriously just say 'egad'? Unironically?

God, this kid rules. 'Old-timey teenager' is just such an out-of-left-field concept for a character, and I didn't expect Hussie to commit this hard to the bit - but I am very glad he did.

GG: As for this Strider business, hrmmm. He's an elusive guy Jake. You know that. GG: I talked to him yesterday. That's as much help as I can be! GT: Shoot. GT: I really need to ask him something but hes got his blasted auto responder turned on.

What, like an out-of-office message? Those usually need to be turned on manually, which means that Kid Bro's deliberately set his Pesterchum to 'do not disturb'.

That guy's unreachable in any incarnation, and it's on purpose. He'll enter the story when he's good and ready, and not a moment sooner.

GG: Hoo hoo. GG: I love that thing. :B

Knowing the Striders, Bro's out-of-office notification is some sort of ironic joke. Jane's appreciation of this humor is an interesting parallel to the John/Dave relationship, where John was happy to play along with Dave's irony, but never really understood his schtick.

GT: He wouldnt be pleased to hear you say that.

Jake, however, believes that Bro would be uncomfortable with Jane's appreciation, for some reason.

Perhaps he wants his friends to demand his attention, rather than laugh at his absence. If Bro turns out to be a tsundere, I'm going to laugh my ass off.

[loving-family-poll]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Semifinals

Propaganda under the cut:

Sam/Dean:

I'm sorry but they have it all. children of metaphorical incest just continuing the cycle in any way they can. they are brothers and mother + son and wives and each other's scorned lovers and life partners they've had multiple infidelity arcs they are sexually psychopathic together they have forsook life and morality and the earth itself for each other and just love each other so much . They are literally in a heaven of their own making together for eternity, incestuously. Come on!!! Blueprint!!!!! It's not gay if he's your brother!!!!!

dean did stuff to sam's dead body in ahbl. i just know it

Messed-up, isolated sibs with all the daddy and abandonment issues. Their lives are so claustrophobic with the brothers no more than five feet apart in the car, a motel room, or standing next to civilians (face it, they are frigging magnets). Can't leave out that they are always touching each other to check for wounds which is a huge PLUS for any shipper.

Sam and Dean ARE literally the blowjob brothers. They walk into a situation and everyone goes well well well if it isn't the blowjob brothers....... And they say. Yep. That's us. And then they fix the situation with their epic love story

THE classic, iconic, show shopping, never done before etc. etc. incest ship. It changed fandom and it changed the world

Dave/Rose:

Daverose blondetwin sweep because they were codependent without ever meeting from growing up seeing each other in their dreams

What does it mean to be an abused teenage boy growing up alone and seeing a girl in your dreams every night who is also your best friend. and when you finally meet her you go on a suicide mission together even though nobody was asking you to die with her. and then you are the only two human beings left in the recognizable universe on a cold meteor surrounded by aliens but you’re glad it’s with her. and when you finally touch the girl from your childhood dreams she looks exactly like you. because she’s your sister

I don't have words for how good these snarky assholes are together. DaveRose is brain chemistry changing. They both put up so many fronts, and engage in so much snarky wordplay, and are constantly trying to get under each other's facade. They play off each other so well, witty and sharp, I need them to be together always

We all die & we all die alone are the two cold truths of the universe but dave and rose broke both simultaneously by ascending to godhood together

Their twincest wins because it is just so confusingly tragic? profound? dave leaving rose behind in a doomed world, dave following her to the bomb. they are both so closed & cut off & curt its hard to imagine the depth of these things. but that is their love language: giving up their lives for each other over and over, in a confusing and fumbling and heartfelt love song. i can’t say i love you but i know we’ll die together anyway. because we’re made of the exact same stuff. i’ll find you again at the last moment. that’s love.

THEY DIED TOGETHER, YOUR HONOR

Confirmed canon by the author, (something happened) between them. Parallels of dying by each other's sides in EVERY timeline. They are THE womb-to-tomb. There is nothing platonic about winking at your brother while talking about crushes, that shit is incestuous. Seer/Knight archetype. They will die protecting each other.

do you realize love someone if you don’t follow them on a suicide mission into the gaping maw of a literal fucking sun after they knock you out and psychoanalyze you in your dreams? the blueprint of the “ethereal androgynous blonde boygirl twins” trope. witch/knight dynamics. they find each other to die together in every timeline no matter what (but they’re still emotionally constipated teenagers who bicker and make fun of each other in pesterchum). kids with grown-up powers. perfect little freaks of nature. what if we looked exactly like each other’s eyes

[homestuckreplay]

New Year, New Trolls

(page 1089-1099)

So far, every scene of Homestuck has taken place on John, Rose, Dave or Jade’s birthday. I’m also really excited that the Dave flashback we got a glimpse of on page 1073 is real and here, even if his city looks miserable in December. And page 1089 includes an absolute top tier line: ‘When [John] sees your staggering gesture of sentimentality he will finally understand. He will understand that in the game of facetious sentimental gestures, no one gets the best of Rose Lalonde.’

It’s also fun learning that both Rose and Dave have changed their desktop wallpapers recently! I’m delighted to know that Rose Lalonde’s previous wallpaper was the official art for the Call of Cthulhu card game – sorry, the Foretelling of Fluthlu card game – with a heavy purple filter applied. I believe this edition is from 2008 and Rose is definitely playing it. Meanwhile, Dave has chosen an officially licensed Starsky & Hutch wallpaper, released by Warner Bros. as promotional material before the movie’s 2004 release. Dave has removed the ‘In Theaters March 5’ but kept everything else identical. Ironically, I’m sure.

John’s Letters

John is the sweetest, and I wish he could see more of his own strengths and wasn’t dunking on his own drawings here. His letters are very different to how he communicates via Pesterchum – he’s expressing feelings towards his friends far more strongly here, and he’s also showing a deeper understanding of them than usual. It must be easier for him to express himself with that extra layer of distance, having time to think about his words and knowing that he won’t get a direct response.

John casually drops that Rose has been his friend ‘all these years’, so they’ve known each other since they were… 8 or 9, maybe? That’s a reasonable age to be on the internet and proficient with typing, and see each other as old friends by 12 or 13. I mean, they’ve probably been friends for 4 years and 13 days at the start of the story, so that fits.

John knowing what a wet T-shirt contest is feels pretty jarring, and totally came from whatever movie he watched the night before writing this. More obviously in character is John saying ‘they're totally authentic! they actually touched ben stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point’ in his December letter to Dave, and then using the exact same phrasing via Pesterchum the following April - ‘you do realize they touched stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point’ (p.110). It’s also extremely heartwarming that Dave immediately takes off the shades that match his brother’s and puts on the new ones he got from his best friend, and then never switches back. John says ‘i think you just gotta get out of your bro's shadow and spread your wings dude!!!’ and Dave actually listens. That’s a hard thing to do all at once, but a big first step, and it only happened because Dave had support from an actual cool person in his life.

Here’s the thing: John loves his friends. Jade’s visions and their importance suggest that a lot of Homestuck is about predestination, and that it’s possible that at least John and Jade’s meeting was fated or engineered. But even if all four kids only met because of something Jade saw in dreams, that doesn’t create love! They’re still the kids who put in the effort to connect despite all their differences and who go above and beyond to care for each other and show love on each other’s birthdays! At this point John knows nothing about any predestination, he just knows that these people mean a lot to him and he wants them to know that.

Act 3 began with a page titled ‘Dear John,’ (p.759), showing us Nanna’s message inside Colonel Sassacre’s tome, and now we’ve got ‘dear rose,’ (p.1091) and ‘dear dave,’ (p.1097), so I am calling it now that the final page of the act will be a Dear Jade.

grimAuxiliatrix

carcinoGeneticist was a very disappointing and uncreative troll when we met on page 859, but grimAuxiliatrix is a master at work, and their pesterlog with Rose is a joy to read. GA’s gambit of claiming to be an alien out of sync with Earth’s time and used to dealing with species of far superior intellect is hilarious, I would actively enjoy getting trolled by them, and of course Rose would be compelled enough by the game to accidentally in some way fall for it. The ‘beginning every word with a capital letter’ is a nice touch that does make them sound more alien. Rose and Dave’s banter is great but I feel like GA challenges Rose more than Dave does, and definitely has a more similar vocabulary. Describing time as ‘A Utility That A Universe May Resort To In Order To Advance A Desired Degree Of Complexity’ is interesting, and suggests the possibility of a universe that does not utilize time – the Incipisphere, perhaps?

It seems like Rose isn’t fully buying GA’s claim to have spoken to future Rose, but we know from her relationship with Jade that she’s not fully closed off to the supernatural, so I’m hoping this previous/next conversation comes around soon.

adiosToreador

While John and Jade’s instincts are to avoid messages from the trolls, Rose and Dave’s are to play the trolls at their own game. Dave and AT’s conversation is equal parts disgusting and disturbing and contains several phrases I wish I’d never read, and hope to never read again. But essentially they’re playing online gay chicken, and Dave is willing to take it much further. GA referred to a group that is ‘All Already In Agreement’, but they could be a leader of the group, and AT a more unwilling follower who doesn’t take to trolling so well. It seems like they’re going for a mix of CG’s aggression and GA’s wordiness and not really succeeding with either, and having this easy target for bullying brings out the worst in Dave, so I’m not on anyone’s side here. They’re both knowingly trying to upset each other, and I think it is believable that they would talk like this, but I don't want any part of it.

This is also, technically, the act’s title page – Dave drops the phrase ‘insane corkscrew haymakers’ towards the end of the page, in a context I don’t especially want to explore in depth. It’s a fun phrase out of context but I too would block Dave for some of the other stuff he says.

Troll Theories

It would be way too much of a coincidence if, in a story where some locations exist ‘untouched by the flow of time’ of others, these trolls were just regular people on Earth making this all up. I personally think the trolls are currently on the ominous planet, and are specifically trying to cause problems for these Sburb players. I’m not sure if they are part of the game – either a random rival group of players admitted to the same session, or a group of NPCs – or if they’re hackers who have infiltrated this session against the game’s wishes. If they are hackers, they could end up being technically ‘good’ if they’re working against Sburb itself, but will probably still have different goals to the kids.

If they’re planted by Sburb and there are twelve of them aligned with the ominous planet, and only four fighting on behalf of Prospit, this could explain why the forces of light are destined to lose. If that’s the case, the game has a social angle – if Rose can convince GA that it’s smarter to fight for the light, and if Dave can bully AT into doing the same, then John and Jade only need to sway one person each for an evenly matched, fair fight. I also think it’s possible that the Midnight Crew is four of these guys, although I don’t have any thoughts as to which, or to who the other eight would be.

> Dave: Break old sunglasses in annoyance.

[tenaciouschronicler]

July 3 2024 2009

Lets take a look at Julys updates now that I have some free time.

Behold! Apple juice!

So with this we have a better grasp of the time jump, its before Dave and John first talked on Pesterchum. @homestuckreplay made a great observation that I just wanna reiterate... Its absolutely adorable how much Dave LOVES talking to his friends, especially John. First thing he thinks of when finding apple juice? How much of a kick John is gonna get out of the unexpected movie reference.

Behind his cool guy persona hes just as much of a dweeb as John and I think he(John), at least as far as weve seen, is probably his closest friend. Maybe they were childhood friends until one of them moved and as they grew up Dave found it harder to fit in or find someone he could let in and trust.

You also might as well ask him about that beta. The kid's been harping about it for weeks. It would be cool if it came on his birthday. He'd be one happy camper.

Before we get into the chat, we see a little of Daves mindset. Even though Dave has made it pretty clear hes not really interested in the Beta, his friend is and hes gonna, 'In your own cool, sort of roundabout way', ask about it because he likes his friends happy.

Lets take a look at his desktop. (I appologize for the quality, dont know what happened)

Fisrt of, sick as hell wallpaper. Not sure what its from but its got a battle bracket on the bottom right so maybe an in-verse video game? Im not sure what app that blue one is, or maybe a file?, but Dave aint happy with it seeing as its named 'COMPLETE BULLSHIT'. The two red folders however hold Daves 'ILL BEATS' and 'DOPE RHYMES SO DOPE'. And keeping in-line with the sheer amount of tech, Daves sporting a shiny Pesterchum 7.0.

The enflammed silhouette is Daves browser aptly named Hephaestus. Hephaestus is the Greek God of artisans, blacksmiths, carpenters, craftsmen, fire, metallurgy, metalworking, sculpture and volcanoes. He was casted out of Olympus either by his mother Hera or by Zeus depending on the myth. In the first he is lame at birth, in the second he becomes lame after the fall. He now resides again on Mount Olympus crafting the Gods equipment and any fine metalwork pieces are said to be his work.

The first website Dave visits is his own satire review blog where he posts about Gamebro. And then theres his webcomic SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF and. it. sure is. Something.

I.

Theres no words honestly.

Daves cool guy facade is fading fast. But then again hes a kid so....

Theres 3 pages with the same style and Ive gotta question if this is really as popular as Dave makes it out to be ┐(￣ヘ￣）┌

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom : Homestuck

Character : Dave Strider

Pairing : Romantic

Description : Just some regular Headcanons with the coolest Boy

Love your writings! :D

- Eridan Anon

Sure! This focuses on my take of him in Homestuck, if something is off I'm so sorry :( I wasn't sure if I wrote him right so I researched what I could.

Happy late Birthday to Dave, I share the same extended zodiac sign as him and I love his character :)

Not fully edited, may have spelling mistakes.

Yandere! Dave Strider Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Overprotective behavior, Trauma (Dave's backstory primarily), Manipulation, Kidnapping, Violence/Death, Stalking, Secret picture taking, Forced relationship.

I feel Dave is one that both tries too hard around you yet also puts up facades.

More than anything he feels he should protect you and that he knows best.

The above trait is something he shares eerily with Dirk due to the trauma he suffered with Bro.

He greatly cares about you but at the same time appears distant at times.

Dave tends to make music for fun and for his friends, playing a cool persona despite being quite vulnerable due to his past.

He tends to go on long rants and talks to himself and is quite mature.

He jokes but can take things seriously when he needs to, he also tries to not abuse his time powers.

Yet it's shown he'd go back in time to prevent the demise of any of his friends since he cares a lot.

Dave originally appears like he doesn't care about you or your interests.

Although, in reality, Dave really enjoys you and listening to you talk.

He remembers every interest you have to bring up later, just to hear you speak about it.

Dave is easily influenced by you too.

He really does think you're cool and if you bring up the fact you like something... Dave does his best to find a gift that goes along with it.

He'd talk to you over Pesterchum and send gifts to you at times.

He often wants to ramble at you about various things, like he's venting.

He'd love it if you listened, honestly.

In a way Dave displays delusional behavior as he thinks he knows how to care for you.

Part of him is certainly projecting trauma.

Similar to how he wanted to protect Jade because he liked her, he feels he has to do the same with you.

You can tell Dave has care towards you through the music and gifts he sends.

It's all tuned to your likes and interests, showing he does listen to you despite the front he puts up.

Honestly, due to his past I can see Dave wanting your praise.

He would want to feel validated through you.

Being there for him is enough to make him attached.

As I said before, he is eerily like Dirk Strider in terms of yandere behavior.

Dave may manipulate you without really meaning it.

This is due to the delusional thought that he knows best.

He knows kidnapping you, isolating you, and being the only one around you is wrong.

But to him is seems like the right thing to do.

Seeing the mortality of his friends and himself certainly doesn't help such thoughts.

If you were in his session he would use his powers to protect you.

Still tries not to abuse them, yet he can't see himself going on without you.

If you were both Derse Dreamers, Dave would want to find you to just talk.

Dave seems like he'd get unintentionally clingy.

Subconsciously he wants to get closer up until he eventually gives in and isolates you.

He just feels comfortable with you, you're so much more welcoming than Bro was to him.

He hates to upset you but finds it necessary at times.

How else is he supposed to keep you safe with him?

Dave is skilled in photography.

Which obviously means he tries to take as many pictures as he can of you.

Everything from shared selfies to more... candid and secretive pictures.

He keeps them in either an album or a folder on his PC to look at.

They bring him comfort.

Dave often suppresses his emotions.

While he does feel bad when he makes you upset, he can't be so easily driven by emotion to let you go.

Which is ironic... as he allowed emotion to drive him to the point of isolating and kidnapping you.

Dave doesn't mind you speaking to the others for the most part.

But he isn't afraid to restrict it eventually.

Dave doesn't mean to be so possessive and protective at times.

He unfortunately can't help it.

You're just about the only one he can cling to.

This leads him to trying to form a romantic attraction towards you.

He just wants you all to himself... for the protection and comfort of both of you in his eyes.

Dave would try his best to be affectionate.

It's difficult for him as he doesn't understand at first.

However, if you showed him affection before things went downhill, then he'll do that.

Tight hugs, attempted kisses, stuff like that.

For the most part he feels comfortable with the fact you're safe.

He tells you that in his rambles.

Dave no doubt would make songs that represent the two of you in his mind.

He'd then play them while sitting beside you, just enjoying the moment while you plot ways to leave.

Overall... I feel yandere Dave means well... but that does not make what he's doing right.

Due to his background and experiences... he's so obsessed with protecting and impressing you he loses himself.

Leading to Dave often neglecting your own feelings in favor his own.

[homestuck-fanauthor-coalition]

how i fell in love with my government agent

@davepetacreates

Dave sits at the counter, Rose beside him. Roxy and Dirk are still at school, but Dave took the day off specifically for this conversation, and Rose works from home anyway. They’ve got a quart of Rocky Road open on the counter between them, two spoons stuck in it. The lights are off, but the windows are open, and sunlight filters through. It’s the day before his date, and he’s finally decided to follow up on the conversation. “So,” she says, “I know that our last conversation about you being queer didn’t get too far into it. Do you want to talk more about it now? I know you have that date tomorrow, so I guess I assumed that that would be our topic of conversation this evening.”  Dave nods. “Yeah,” he says, “I… guess I do.” It’s way different to talk about it in person than over Pesterchum, and he can’t really meet her eyes. “How do I even do this?”

Chapters: 7/?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Homestuck

Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas

Characters: Dave Strider; Karkat Vantas; Kanaya Maryam; Rose Lalonde; Dirk Strider; Sollux Captor; Auto-Responder | Lil Hal; Nepeta Leijon; Roxy Lalonde

Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously; Crack; alternate universe - government surveillance; karkat is the nsa agent watching dave through his screen; dave is the dude who saw a tumblr meme; author is unrepentant; Meme; Based on a Tumblr Post; Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions; Humanstuck; Filipino Karkat Vantas; Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider are Siblings; karkat vantas and kanaya maryam live together; Background Relationships; background rosemary - Freeform; Alternative Universe - FBI; technically nsa; but lets not argue the technicalities here; (aka. lets); :3; Not Beta Read; Selectively Mute Dirk Strider; Strider-Lalondes are Siblings

[nepisepic]

intro post intro post intro post!!!!!!!

name: nep (nepeta) !!

fav artists: alex g , weezer and childish gambino

interests: HOMESTUCK!!! danganronpa , beastars , mha , soul eater , fnaf , sherlock (bbc) , voltron , inside job , vast error and sooo much more

extra info: i’m autistic - my special interest of around 7 years is homestuck :3 and im asexual , no other labels for sexuality or gender :3

homestuck info: derse dreaming bard of void and mutant blood/lime blood (cancer)

fav characters : DIRK STRIDER , tokoyami , kiyotaka ishimaru , karkat , jade , aradia and the amporas:p

hobbies: i draw a lottttt but mainly homestuck art and i play tennis - thats abt it LOL

also i have pesterchum , idk if anyone uses it but id love to talk to ppl on there :o