#i love my golden retriever and black cat pairing

[25shadesoffebruary]

[johnslittlespoon]

hey, how do we feel about ken and brady? because:

thinking about brady getting up early to go spend time with his little mechanic before everyone else is awake, his version of courting ken being sitting on the tailgate of a truck to watch him do his routine checks, fond smile playing at his lips, a softness so evident that it'd be useless to deny it if anyone pointed it out, but he'd still try.

ken following him around base like a lovesick puppy after the morning's mission, hanging off his every word, looking at him like he's the coolest ever, and to ken he is. eagerly leaning forward in his seat, chin in hand when brady relents and tells him about his flight in the mess hall later, shooting question after question at him until brady quiets him with the suggestion that they go on a walk, "so we don't drive the others mad with your yapping."

ken grows more shy when it's just the two of them, hands in his pockets as they walk off base to stroll down a quiet country trail, fighting off a dopey grin every time brady purposefully bumps against him. the rush of developing feelings, every interaction feeling so fresh and exciting, pure young summer love.

a drawled out "enough about the mission– what'd my pretty handyman get up to while i was gone?" as brady slings an arm around his waist when they're far enough off the road to not worry. light pink blooming on ken's cheeks at his words, smiling bashfully as he tells him about the little things that happened throughout the morning.

the two of them end up in some open field as they often do, sweaty in the sun, cargo pants on but shirts discarded in the grass. brady's laid out on his back with sweet angel ken on top of him, hands cupping ken's face as his boy leans down to kiss him all smiley and giggly and flushed, curls messy from the summer heat and roaming hands.

all of their days off spent in that field, a summer full of lazy make–outs and secret glances and careful brushes of hands, growingly increasingly fonder of each other's company and navigating the feelings that come with that. evenings spent up on the wing of whatever plane ken's spent the day working on, laying his head in brady's lap as the sun goes down, resting his eyes while brady reads his book out loud to him, or while they both talk about their days.

innocent first–love surviving the summer, stretching into fall and then winter, romps in fields turning into cold evenings under blankets when they can sneak into unoccupied barracks. the light small talk and nervous kisses and hand holding of the sunny season morph into late night conversations over the howling wind outside about what will happen after the war, fantasizing about a cozy apartment and a bed for two and quiet mornings and a future together.

[hiddenreamers]

Unlikely pair

SUMMARY: Where Oscar is dating a musician known for strictness and harsh comments on survival shows. To everyone's surprise, the unlikely pair is nothing short of perfect.

yntheone made a new post:

Close your eyes, take my time Let's remember this moment

Photograph (prod. Offonoff) is out on Thursday

Comments:

user1: WHATTT

user2: this is not a drill I repeat this is not a drill

user3: girl you can't just drop this on us and bail 💀

user4: is this real or is this my ambien

user5: i see the saga of blurry pictures continues

↳ user6: it's a vibe, you hater 😤

user7: omg is this the song realoffonoff played on his live the other day??

user8: who is this and why is it not me 😩

user9: she destroyed everyone on Don Mills Daebak remix just to turn around and do cute rnb songs 😭 queen shit 👑👑

oscarpiastri: can't wait ❤️ liked by yntheone

↳ yntheone: ❤️❤️ ↳ user10: the last person I expected to see here ↳ user11: 🤨🤨 well that's suspicious

user12: You need to do an entire album with realoffonoff !! Cigarette was amazing 😍

↳ user13: oh my godddd do you think cigarette was about the same guy? ↳ user14: definitely ?? i mean how can you listen to yntheone sing she wants you to be addicted to her like cigarettes and go "nah I'll pass" ?? brain damage ahh behaviour

yntheone tagged oscarpiastri in a post:

Do you really think you're that good??

(He is.)

Comments:

user15: babe wake up new roman empire just dropped

user16: not the caption 💀💀 quoting herself like the queen she is

↳ user17: giving trainees war flashbacks lmao

user18: he better know how to fight 😤😤 im throwing hands

user19: this can't be the same person who tore apart trainees on live tv 😐 since when is she all lovey dovey

↳ user20: if you had Oscar Piastri smiling at you, you'd be lovey dovey too

user21: out of all the people I suspected to be the guy from a blurry picture, this man wasn't even on the list ??? there's opposites and then there's THIS

↳ user22: ya I'm genuinely surprised someone as calm as him can keep up with her ↳ user23: yall are forgetting he's keeping up with Lando Norris

oscarpiastri: I really am liked by yntheone

landonorris: he's not as good as me but I guess he's still kind of ok

↳ danielricciardo: you might want to rethink that mate ↳ landonorris: blocked

user24: I'll just assume every love song she's done has been about him

↳ user25: Cigarette?? Moon?? Photograph?? Make the Move?? He better know the poetry that she's written about him or he gon catch these hands ↳ oscarpiastri: I do know and I appreciate every word

user25: finally Mclaren found someone who can actually pull off the papaya and not look silly

user26: yntheone is taken?? worst day of my life tbh

user27: imagine all the contestants on survival shows that will come in mclaren merch 💀💀 we're about to unlock a new level of embarrassment that shouldn't be possible

user28: this is the best golden retriever black cat couple, everyone else can go home

user29: for his own sake, I hope he knows what he's gotten himself into 😩😩

↳ user30: no better racing motivation than remembering your girlfriend is famous for roasting people in front of the entire nation

f1fans_official made a new post:

oscarpiastri and yntheone on their little New York trip 🥺🥺

Comments:

user31: yes I watch f1 for the rivalry and driving

↳ user32: these two are the main plot

user33: am I the only one bothered by the fact that she's a rude bitch??

↳ user34: yes sis you're the only one who can't tell between a rude bitch and a professional realistically evaluating wanna-be artists

user35: no thoughts head empty thinking about my favourite paddock couple

user36: i can't even be mad she's taken my man 😞😞 they look cute together

user37: hope they don't break up I can't take going through my parents' divorce twice

user38: if Lando and yntheone become friends we're going to see the most iconic duo of all time

↳ user39: the Lando slander is about to get serious 💀 ↳ user40: Oscar is gonna be bald by the end of the year because of them lmao

oscarpiastri tagged yntheone in a post:

Resting and recharging before the next race weekend

Comments:

user41: it's giving he asked for no pickles

yntheone: no need to thank me, I know I'm the only thing you need 😴 liked by oscarpiastri

↳ oscarpiastri: wouldn't have it any other way ❤️

user42: forget guard dog boyfriend, Oscar's got a guard dog girlfriend and I'm here for it

↳ user44: feminism

landonorris: guys help me she's scary

↳ yntheone: I know where you live 🥰🥰 ↳ oscarpiastri: yntheone I'll hold your bag baby ↳ user43: forget the office this is the sitcom i'd watch ↳ georgerussell63: the bigger the distance from angry yntheone the funnier it is

user45: honestly why would he go for a manly rude bitch?? there are so many better women out there, just sad

↳ user46: have you considered the fact that men are not a monolith and have, in fact, individual preferences? or is your IQ too low to comprehend that?

user47: I will tell my children this is the royal pair

user48: can't wait for her the sample Oscar and add him to a beat 🔥🔥

user49: ok now I get why she wrote absolute bangers about him 😍

user50: if she's in the stands cheering him on, FIA should give Oscar a penalty for unfair advantage 😤😤

[hoonvrs]

CIGARETTES — s. jaeyun smau

PAIRING jake x fmr

SYNOPSIS where university student jake develops a little crush on the girl he sees with a cigarette between her lips in the smoking area and decides he needs to impress her. how else would he do that except calling his smoker friend to teach him how to smoke ( spoiler: it doesn’t go so well. )

GENRE smau, fluff, crack, sprinkle of angst if you read it upside down, golden retriever x black cat duo

FEATURING ( enha ) all, ( ive ) gaeul, yujin, ( nct ) chenle, jisung

WARNING smoking [ don’t smoke kids ], swearing, kys/kms/suicide jokes, friendly bullying, dirty/sex jokes ( more will be added if necessary)

STATUS completed

TAGLIST ( CLOSED )

S. NOTE JAKE MY MANNN ( hoon look away ) as an 02z girl i finally have an smau for each bias so i feel v complete

also please don't spam like as it shadowbans me and lessens engagement <3

PROFILES

virgin mary’s | smoking HAWT | privs

CHAPTERS

01 BI yourself

02 we found love in the smoking area

03 life is roblox

04 you white whore

05 jake you beautiful bastard

06 are we rush houring rn

07 it’s the dawg in me

08 yuh :3

09 the brit

10 what if i was suicidal .

11 here comes christian bale

12 i don’t trust him. weird fella

13 give us another sonnet english boy

14 bros from yapan

15 he thinks he’s a 90s babe

16 i’m just a girl

17 i’m sat.

18 go piss girl

↳ extra: did life360 tell you that.

19 i got my peaches out in jojo

20 okayy little miss poet

21 i’m built different

22 WAHHHHHHW WAAHHH

23 i want you

24 why are u bricked up

25 PUKA PUKA POW POW

26 jake in his flop era

27 this is getting too homoerotic

28 they go low i go lowER

29 inshallah he will eat

30 hello ross lynch

31 filthy omega

32 u r sobir. die (+written 0.8k)

33 she shoiodv be inde clubbb…..

34 when he makes you his girlfriend

35 can’t take me anywhere

36 noo you’re so sexy haha

37 no. (+written 0.7k)

38 i feel so kawaii today

39 come home fat

40 wasn’t very dabatayo of you jay.

↳ extra: it’s actually dattebayo*

41 ur man can’t drive manual

42 i Want you so bad

43 hawk putuh

44 okay blondie

45 though shalt not fail, but prevail

↳ extra: random

EP1 upset my girl. i’m gonna Kms

EP2 im not smoking that shit

EP3 OUR girlfriend ☭

copyright © hoonvrs 2023 all rights reserved

[razrbladekiss]

MAPLE HAZEL | Joel Miller

SUMMARY: he’s grumpy, and you’ve got enough happiness for the pair of you. you visit joel’s little coffee shop every morning, and he can’t deny that he enjoys the monotony of life with you the other side of his counter.

PAIRING: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: inspired by lorelai gilmore and luke danes, so with that info do what you will. this is full on golden retriever x black cat realness. fluffy. banter-y. dialogue-y. joel is grumpy but he’s sexy so we don’t mind. enjoy, my besties. not sure if i’ll do a part two, but i’ll let you know in due time, of course.🍁🫶����

SERIES MASTERLIST

It’s like he’s moving from muscle memory. Putting down a cinnamon roll and maple hazel latte—with two extra shots of espresso—in front of the third purple stool at his counter, is almost ingrained into his brain. He wonders if one day you’ll ever take him by surprise and order pancakes, or a chai tea.

And you will. Just not today.

“Cinnamon roll, please!” You call from the door as you bumble over the threshold, fighting with the belt loop on your coat that’s gotten stuck on a brassy handle for the third time this morning.

“Already one step ahead of ‘ya.” Joel gestures to the breakfast spread at the wooden bar, and you smile.

Despite being a closed-off, stupid-person-hating, placid-at-times, grumpy old man, you can’t help admitting that you enjoy Joel’s company and general presence in your life.

His shop appeared on Birch Grove one sunny Saturday morning about three years ago, and you haven’t skipped a day since. Aside from Christmas Day, you have religiously sat at Joel’s counter and shared the trials and tribulations of life in Dallas as an overzealous twenty-something every single day.

He’s a great listener. Or, at least, you think that he is. He never interrupts you, or speaks over you. Joel always lends an ear to listen, even if he doesn’t always say all that much in response to whatever it is that you’re elucidating or complaining about.

“Thank you.” Breathlessly, you say. You take a seat and dump your purse onto the counter. “Got a busy day today. I’ve got a meeting, and I’m meeting Maria for lunch, and I’ve got a date—“

Joel’s face heats up. He turns to face you, striving to stay indifferent.

“A date?” Nonchalant, he asks. He slings a dish-cloth over his shoulder, and lifts a brow. “Does this man know that he’s going on a date with you?”

You make a face while stuffing a fork-full of pastry into your mouth. He’s so smug. With his stupid flannel and stupid little hat, you just want to rip the complacency from his lips. But he’s a good man. Just likes to try and take you down a few pegs.

But he can’t. Because you’re stubborn. And a little annoying.

“No, I just thought that I’d show up at his house in the middle of the night—because I’ve followed him home from work a few times and know where he lives—and rip him right out of his bed just like the troll that Danny Devito plays in Its Always Sunny.”

Joel let’s out a little laugh, not bothering to argue that what you had just told him didn’t actually happen in that episode, but finding it funny nonetheless.

He nods his head to you. “What’s his name?”

“Marcus.” Exaggerating your heart-eyed gaze, you tell him. “I met him at Costco—“

“Ah, Costco. Where every great love story starts. First you’re bulk-buying toilet paper, the next you’re sharing a dollar fifty hot dog—“

“Ha ha, Joel, you’re soooo funny.”

“I try.” He says, flippant, pouring coffee into another customer’s cup when they appear at the counter for a refill. He lifts the carafe and gestures to your almost-empty mug. “Want another?”

Your gaze is set on your wristwatch. It’s seven twenty-nine, and you need to be at work for nine thirty. Mentally you strive to figure out how much more time you can spend at the cafe, before you’re having to leave to get there on time.

“Is it maple hazel flavored?”

Joel tilts his head, glaring at you.

You swig the dregs of latte in your mug, and then push the polka-dot ceramic across to him. “Please.” You say, shyly.

Joel busies himself with customers, and general business-owner things for a few minutes while you finish your cinnamon roll and coffee. You can’t help watching him.

Because he’s great. He’s very caring—though extremely stern at times—and you know that if you’re having a bad day, Joel is only a two minute and thirteen second walk away.

He feels the same, too. Kind of. He knows that you’ll be sauntering into his shop at some point every day, and finds himself looking forward to seeing your wide-eyed gaze and larger-than-life smile.

And though he won’t admit it in so many words, Joel has a soft spot for you. It hasn’t always been apparent—he thought that you were utterly insufferable and obsessive when he first met you—but he can’t deny the fact that his life would be very dull without you.

Even if you do have a tendency to try to get underneath his skin.

“Are you dating, Joel?”

He rolls his eyes.

“What? It’s a very normal question to ask somebody that hasn’t been in a serious relationship for an entire twelve months.”

He pulls the cloth from his shoulder and wipes at his hands. “You and I both know that I ain’t got no interest in settlin’ down with anyone. Not yet, anyway.”

“You were willing to with Tess.” Pushing things a little, you say. You lift the coffee mug to your lips when Joel opens his mouth to chastise you, but he can’t.

He can’t because you’re right. He can’t because he wanted to, once upon a time. Before Tess walked out of his life—not long after you started frequenting his shop—he wanted it all. A wife, kids, the white picket fence that his parents had back in Austin when he was a kid.

But it doesn’t always work out that way, and Joel has learned to live with the idea that if it’s too good to be true, then it most likely is.

“I can set you up with someone—“

“Not happening.” He says. “Last time you sent me on a blind date, the girl asked me if I was into pegging.”

You giggle. “Well? Are you—“

Joel says your name, glaring pointedly.

“Sorry.” Instinctively, your lips are set into a straight line. “But I can totally do better, this time. I know this girl—she works at this law firm—and—“

“Not interested.”

“Okay.” You smile, tight-lipped. You lift your mug, striving for your third cup of coffee this morning.

Joel pours the liquid gold into the cup, before he’s telling you that he’s not going to be giving you another for fear of you ricocheting off of each wall in his place.

“You’ll turn into a cup ‘a coffee one day.”

Nodding—with a completely content smile—you say; “least I’ll be happy.”

“You’re always happy.” Joel mithers to himself, turning away. It’s one thing that he admires about you, though loathes at the same time.

Endless optimism and positivity is only something that he can long for, because he’s simply not capable of it. It baffles him how you are, especially when he’s—on occasion—so rude to you. So miserable, and cold, and completely undeserving of your friendship.

He likes that you’re so forgiving. That—even after he accidentally offended you last summer when making a comment about your then boyfriend—you can never hold a grudge, especially when it comes to him.

Because you both hold one another on a pedestal so high, neither can seem to do anything to tear themselves down. And Joel really enjoys your daily routine. That’s why he’s never not in the shop.

“You got any weekend plans?”

“Never do.”

You stretch out your arms—intertwining your fingers as you do to make them click—and offer a small smile when he cringes.

“You wanna catch a movie?” Shirking the idea that you have a date tonight—with a man who you really aren’t all that interested in, you’re just being nice—you propose.

Joel’s heart starts to beat at a tempo that’s noticeably quicker than usual. Not a lot, but it’s certainly faster.

“I think that the theatre downtown is showing the original Beetlejuice, on Saturday.”

He nods, approving. “I—uh—I’ll have to get someone to cover—“

“I’m sure you can ask your brother. Or maybe Maria?”

“I ‘spose.” Reluctant, he says. “But what about Michael? What if he wants a second date?”

“Well, his name is Marcus. And if he wants a second date—which I doubt he will—then he’ll just have to live with the fact that I have plans with a friend on Saturday night.”

He hopes that you can’t see him blush.

“Won’t it be weird?”

“Why?”

“We hardly speak outside of the shop.”

“God, Joel.” You throw your head back, laughing. “We’re the same people wherever we are. And we’re going to the movies—not a lot of talking takes place there, hon.”

His nostrils flare at your sarcasm, but mainly at the little pet name. Joel knows that you’re sweet—that you often use those terms of endearment when speaking with those that you care about—but it does something to him.

Something that he does not like.

“You can either come, or stay here and be miserable because you have no social life, or no girlfriend, or no other friends aside from me, your brother, and your brother’s wife—“

“Alright, fine.” Joel stops your miniature hate-train, and puts his hands against the counter. Your eyes zone in on the veins embellished within tan skin—how prominent they are when he’s fronting irritation—and let out a small sigh.

He’d be a lot more handsome if he smiled more, you think.

“So.” You paw at your purse, pulling it off the wood. “I’ll let you know what time the showing is, and we can make plans around that.”

Joel rounds the island and follows you as you pad toward the door, veritably sweating. “Plans?” He asks. “You never said nothin’ ‘bout plans. I thought we were just gonna catch a movie?”

“We are.” You tell him. “But we need to buy snacks, and grab dinner before we go—“

“Now you’re just describing a date.”

You shake your head. “No, I’m describing hanging out with a friend, Joel.”

“A friend?”

“An acquaintance…?” Testing the waters, you ask. Your eyes squint a bit, awaiting his retort.

But he just smiles.

“A friend.”

You smile back. Bigger.

“Perfect.” Your purse is slinging over your shoulder, and you pull your jacket to close so that the darned loops don’t get stuck on the door handle. Again. “I can’t wait.”

“It’ll be…nice.”

“Jeez, Joel. At least try to sound enthused.”

His hands shoot up in defense. “I am. Just have a hard time showin’ it.”

Your head nods. “I know. I’m only kidding. It’s nobody’s fault that you’re the human equivalent of Oscar The Grouch—“

“Alright, get out.” He holds open the door for you, smiling tight-lipped as he watches you leave. “Enjoy your meeting. And your lunch. And your date.”

You chuckle, thanking him with another bright smile.

“See you in the morning, Joel.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You step onto the sidewalk—that’s festooned with red and orange leaves as the tree above starts to shed its skin—turning to wave at him. “See ‘ya, kiddo.”

[pbueckerslover]

your camera roll as paige’s girlfriend ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

pairing(s): paige bueckers x female!reader

a/n: heyy guys ik it’s been a minute since i posted a fic and i apologize. school is kicking my ass rn but i’d thought i’d whip up something cute so i hope you guys enjoy this for now!! :’))

001. a pic you snapped of paige while she was getting ready for the epsys. you loved watching her get ready for any event she was going to. you’d sit there and admire her as she got her makeup done, and she didn’t even notice you taking pictures. they always turned out to be your fav pics of her.

002. night in w paige. she made you wear the matching socks because she thought it was so cute. you two played games on her playstation for hours while cuddling and talking about anything and everything.

003. a cute moment kk had captured at the beach. the two of you looking out at the view in front of you, all cuddled up next to each other just enjoying your time together.

004. you had countless pics like this in your camera roll. you always sat in the passenger seat while she would drive. she loved that because she could put her hands all over you while you were sitting there. you always held her hand as it rested on your thigh.

005. paige had surprised you with a picnic for your birthday. she always went out of her way to surprise you with the cutest stuff wether it be for anniversaries, bdays, etc. it was one of her favorite ways of showing her love for you.

006. one year into your relationship, the two of you got subtle matching tattoos. she made a promise that when you guys got older you could get something more meaningful. you knew she would keep that promise.

007. a pic you had sent paige as a joke but she loved it. you both knew it was true, she was such a golden retriever while you were more of a black cat. you both thought it was the perfect way to describe you two.

008. a pic you snapped of paige during practice. you loved when she would pose for the camera especially cause it meant she was paying her full attention to you. again, you had numerous pictures like this from multiple diff occasions. you loved taking pictures of your beautiful girlfriend any chance you could.

009. you somehow convinced paige to do this trend you were seeing all over tiktok. when you brought it up she surprisingly agreed quickly. you giggled the whole time you were wrapping the bow around her bicep while she would admire you. she loved when you would do dumb shit like that with her and it honestly made her love for you grow more.

⇾ be sure to checkout my masterlist if you enjoyed! any type of interaction is appreciated :,)

⇾ i’ve seen a couple ppl do this and i thought it was sooo cute!! i hope you guys liked it! lmk if i should do it with anyone else cause i would love to!! again ty for being patient with me i am working on a couple drafts rn so i hope to have a fic out by this weekend. i love y’all 🤍🤍

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙xo xo | MS47˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: mick schumacher x fem y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: none jus fluffy

summary: in which your boyfriend finds himself explaining your knack for seeming nonchalant when in reality you just value your privacy, or in which your boyfriend is a lovesick puppy at your side and his fans have a lot of questions about you 🥹💋

a/n: i hope i did this req justice!!!! not sure if i got the idea right but hopefully i did i loved writing it!!! my first ever fanfic for mick too!!!

request!!!: could you do a smau for Mick where he's dating a girl completely opposed to him, not gothic but more of a golden retriever x black cat relationship

my masterlist

fc: various blonde girls from pinterest

twitter ->

instagram ->

mickschumacher 📍 australia

liked by georgerussell63, lewishamilton, and others

mickschumacher a lil boat day with the love of my life ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

user2 AWWWWW

user3 he's always so sweet im obsessed

user4 me when

user5 y/n is so lucky

user6 everyone's fav golden retriever bf

lilymhe gorgeous couple 😘

liked by mickschumacher

georgerussell63 thanks for inviting us!! 🤔

mickschumacher sorry. y/n said she couldn't be bothered socialising

georgerussell63 sounds like her

yourusername get over it

user7 LOL there they go again

user8 opposites attract 😭

yourusername 💓

liked by mickschumacher

user9 a girl of few words

user10 wish i was cool & mysterious like y/n but instead im a yapper with adhd 😂

user11 this is so real

mickschumacher you can say that again

user12 MICK??? LMAOOO

user13 💀

yourusername 📍 australia

liked by mickschumacher, carmenmmundt, and others

yourusername ⛴️

view all comments

lewishamilton come visit us after the summer break y/n

yourusername maybe

user14 no fr we need her back in the paddock already

user15 LOL lewis is like ussss

user16 begging for y/n's attention

user17 go girl give us nothing

liked by yourusername

user18 she liked this 😂

user19 self aware queen

user20 y/n my fav wag unbothered queen always

mickschumacher love you so much gorgeous

yourusername mwah 💋

user21 at least mick is in this post

user22 barely

yourbff witwoo look at uuu 👀

liked by yourusername

carmenmmundt missing you!!

liked by yourusername

user23 her barely ever replying is real as hell

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, mickschumacher, and others

user29 mick bf content when?

yourbff TXT ME BACKKKK

yourusername srry i will noww

yourbff ever elusive y/n

user30 ily y/n

user31 in my city omg!??!

user32 i luv summer break content

user33 so influencer vibes

lewishamilton …day 10 of asking you to visit the team after summer break

mickschumacher posted a story

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and others

yourbff ur so whipped 💓

mickschumacher 🤷‍♀️🤩

user34 awww sooo cute

user35 once again the difference in stories 😂

user36 beautiful black cat y/n <3

liked by mickschumacher

mercedesamgf1 so gorgeous!

mickschumacher you're telling me

user37 rapunzel fr

yourusername 📍 nyc

liked by mickschumacher, mercedesamgf1, and others

yourusername living out my serena van der woodsen fantasy… xo xo 💋

view all comments

user38 omg y/n i am obsessed with you

user39 😍😍😍😍😍😍

user40 omg? go off girl

user41 xoxo fr

mickschumacher insanely stunning 🤩

yourusername oh you 💋

user42 giggling & kicking my feet over them

user43 they're all i think about fr

lewishamilton …day 14 of asking you to visit the team after summer break

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher

user44 HAHAHAHAHA

user45 no way

user46 they're begging you y/n

mercedesamgf1 we second lewis!

user47 LOLLLL

user48 how is this reallll

user49 why does everyone love y/n 😭

user50 IKR!!! she's so private tbh we dont rly know her

user51 yah idgi at all

yourbff can i be ur blair waldorf 🥹

yourusername you already know!

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, mickschumacher, and others

user52 Y/N PLEASE

user53 not paris 😂

lewishamilton …day 31 of asking you to visit the team after summer break

user54 our unbothered queen

user55 0 fuck's given

user56 so beautiful <3

mickschumacher ❤️❤️

user57 i jus know lewis & merc in general r having a breakdown without her rn!

user58 free merc f1 team from the y/n drought 🙏

interview ->

transcript: interviewer: i'm sure you've seen the discourse online about your partner, y/n… / mick: *laughs* we have seen it, yes. it's very endearing and i love that everyone wants to get to know her better! / m: she keeps herself to herself generally, we're very opposite in that way! i'm an extrovert and, well, she just isn't!

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by mickschumacher, georgerussell63, and others

user67 y/n.

user68 where you going

lewishamilton wait… 👀

georgerussell63 🤨

mercedesamgf1 …see you soon?

mickschumacher ❤️

liked by yourusername

user69 next race queen? next race queen? next race queen?

user70 location reveal

user71 status update y/n

user72 leading us on much😆

mickschumacher posted a story

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, and others

user73 OMGGG FINALLY?!

user74 omg? she's going to monza?

lewishamilton she's here? she's here? she's here?

mickschumacher yes but…

lewishamilton but what

mickschumacher can you & george remain calm and act normal please

lewishamilton excuse me. i always do but i cannot say the same for george

mickschumacher …riiiiiiiight

user75 YAYYYY

user76 sooo cute omg love u guys

mercedesamgf1 our lucky day!

liked by mickschumacher

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by mercedesamgf1, mickschumacher, and others

user77 omg

user78 this is not a drill!!!!

user79 i know the merc team are buzzing

mercedesamgf1 😻

carmenmmundt finally!!!

user80 U LOOK SO GOOD!!!

user81 reppinnnn 🙏

user82 our fav girl fr

yourusername 📍 italy

liked by mickschumacher, lilymhe, and others

yourusername that was fun

tagged: mickschumacher

view all comments

user83 omg bf mick

user84 she's listening to us 👀

lewishamilton so good to see you!

liked by yourusername

carmenmmundt beaut girl

yourusername ily

lilymhe 😻😻😻

liked by yourusername

yourbff the outfitttt 🔥

liked by yourusername

user85 we lysm y/n!!!

liked by yourusername

user86 HER LIKING!!

user87 i love seeing her posts she's so sweet

user88 omg this is adorable

user89 they deffo read our comments

user90 right!!! her giving us more insight into her life am i crazy?

yourusername i luv u guys 💋

user91 screaming

user92 omg 😭

mickschumacher my girl. i love you ❤️

yourusername 🥹🥹i love u

THE END 💙

[love-belle]

promise me you'll lie !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them lying to themselves and to each other; saying that they don't love them.

or

for when you can't help but lie because it's better than facing the truth. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

warnings - language

author's note - back to back updates!!!!! i hope u like this <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 1,527,926 others

yourusername promise you'll lie

11,526 comments

username i flinched whattehfyckkk

username im shattered im in shambles im in ruins im crying im screaming this is crazy what the fuck

username if 😭 i 😭 don't 😭 get 😭 to 😭 have 😭 u 😭 at 😭 least 😭 our 😭 matching 😭 tattoos 😭 last 😭 for 😭 life 😭

username im throwing hands idc IM THROWING BOTH HANDS

landonorris cool song

-> yourusername thank u i wrote it myself

username tears are falling down my face what is this

kellypiquet so beautiful 💐🫶🏼 just like you

-> yourusername missing u and p <3

username i'll forever be missing their black cat bf x golden retriever gf era 💔💔💔

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

*yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their instagram stories*

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by y/nsblackcatera, y/ntheloml, mewheny/n and 76,527 others

stargirl y/n y/l/n and oscar piastri called it quits almost 9 months ago and it seems like the singer is ready to move on. she was seen out on a "date" with her close friend and her producer of her sophomore album, this is how you fall in love, which she — ironically — wrote for piastri. the reason for their split is still unknown although sources close to the pair claim, "it was just too much work and they both were busy with their own things. it was about time that they broke up." for more details about piastri and y/l/n and the singer's new flame, click on the link in our bio.

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, maxverstappen1 and 799,245 others

oscarpiastri can't promise i'll lie

8,628 comments

username THE CAPTION I JUMPED

username i js fell to the floor what.

username someone sedate me what the fuck

landonorris you've been lying the whole time but okayyy

-> oscarpiastri i'll block you

username the cats 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 babies of divorce 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 weekend with dad 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

username HIS STORY IM SCREECHING WHATTTT

username no bc the way that one post from a literal fan acc managed to get him log in into his ig acc and post a shady caption abt his ex gf like boyyyy

-> username fr like js say you'd be on ur knees for her to take u back

[abbyromanoff]

could u do a golden retriever/black cat dynamic with maria or nat, where R is the golden retriever so everyone assumes they’re the bottom, but its actually the complete opposite?

GOLDEN GIRL

PAIRINGS: Maria Hill x reader

WORD COUNT: 859

WARNINGS: smut, car sex, bottom!reader, subspace, Mommy (M), if yall can’t tell i have mommy and daddy issues with the amount of mommy/daddy kinks i write, innocent!R, fingering, pet play, public sex, cunnilingus, making out, dirtbag!Maria, praise kink, degrading kink, kinda dumbficfation, think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MAKE IT BOTTOM!MARIA 😭😭 MY NEXT MARIA FIC WILL MAKE UP FOR IT ANON I PROMISE

“Are you sure about this?” You sat on the woman’s lap, nervous glances being sent each way. Her hand came to your cheek, her thumb rubbing small, gentle circles to ease your fear.

“Of course, my love. I promise you, no one’s going to see us.” The car had tinted windows, blocking anyone’s insight but gifting you the ability to see anyone nearby.

“But my parents-“

“They won’t notice you’re gone, okay? We won’t get caught.” You hesitantly agreed, sucking in a breath as you allowed her to guide your hips against her waist. Her jeans teased your covered cunt, the cold, metal button sending shocks through your body and causing you to whimper. Your grip fell upon her shoulders, your panties being pushed to the side by Maria’s wandering fingers.

“Pinky promise?” She linked her pinky with yours, kissing the tip before doing the same to your lips, leaving you with a goofy grin and cheeks bright red.

“Pinky promise.” You trailed your hands down, asking for permission with your eyes before you dipped your hands beneath her shirt, cupping her breasts and choking out a moan as her thumb pressed against your clit. She smirked, leaning forward as she connected her chapped lips with the skin of your neck, creating a suction that left dark markings along the area, and she knew you’d whine and groan about it later on. If your parents saw, they’d kill her. They never liked her in general, many people don’t, but knowing she was having sex with their child and ruining their sweet doves' innocence would only cause harsher amounts of bile in their throats.

“Did that feel good?” She asked when receiving a loud moan, your lips parting as your hips sped up. Her fingers teased your hole, dipping in and out in anticipation that riled you up.

“Mhm!” You bit your tongue to silence the threatening sound, but she wasn’t having it.

“No, baby, I want to hear you.” You threw your head back, but she slowly eased you forward by your chin, and your gaze soon met her hazy one. The windows began to blur along with your mind, and drool trailed on your lip.

“Awh, has my puppy gone dumb already? I thought you were my smart little mutt, I guess I was wrong.” You shook your head quickly. She hissed as you tugged on her nipples accidentally, but you barely even noticed.

“No, I-I’m ‘mart, Mommy.” She hummed, and you could tell she didn’t believe you. You stuffed your head in her neck, sniffing her sweet scent with a smile.

“Mommy’s dumb pup, huh? Is that what you are, sweetheart?” You sniffled and shook your head once again, whimpering as two fingers slowly eased into you. You mumbled out your denial, but she only chuckled your way.

“Shh, just bounce on Mommy’s fingers.” You did as told, whispering incoherent pleas as she added a third finger. She shushed you every time you tried to speak, insisting you weren’t of the intelligence level to form a functional thought.

“M-Mommy- g’nna…cum.” You told her, earning a pout of her lips in response. She pulled on your hair, forming a ponytail as she did so. Allowing your head to loll back as she kissed her way up to your ear, nibbling softly on the skin as she spoke,

“You better not fucking cum. Only I can give you permission, got that?” You nodded slowly, crying out with a pained sob as she forced you to ride her faster. She repeatedly hit your g-spot, and you could’ve screamed from the large amount of pleasure she gifted you.

“You think you can decide that on your own, hm? You think Mommy doesn’t matter anymore?”

“No, Mommy, I- I didn’t me-mean to-“

“You don’t need Mommy’s help anymore, is that it? Are you suddenly a big girl, you can think on your own?” You fought the coil building in your stomach with hopes of her approval.

“I-I need you, I do! I nee’ yo’ so b-bad, Mommy!” She chuckled darkly, letting go of your hair and interlacing a hand with yours. She slowly eased you off of her, and you whined pitifully as a result. She guided you to rest on the floor, her body towering over yours as she sat in front of you.

“That’s it, good girl.” She dragged out the praise. “Now, get to work, we don’t have all night.” She guided your face to her now bare skin and your lips met her clit in an urgent manner, desperate to feel her cum all over you.

You were unable to notice the camera aiming in your direction, or the crowd erupting out of the doors that you were parked in front of. But she did. She noticed everything, but she denied letting you do the same. But that was okay, you’d do anything she wanted. It was only fair for how well she took care of and protected you. After all, she was your Mommy, she’d go to any extent to keep you safe, and you’d go to any extent to make her as happy as you could.

[jnkgrnde]

— dating hc’s, clarisse la rue, pjo

summary — dating hc’s w pookie

pairings — clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader (daughter of apollo)

authors note — some of this is inspired by a clarisse fanfic i read the other day w a child of apollo reader ☝🏾

⭑ alr first things first y’all r the definition of black cat gf + golden retriever gf WALK W ME!

⭑ like when u first got to camp clarisse was v.. she thought u were different but in a good way.

⭑ she expected u to act like how an apollo kid would except u were like 5x sunshinier and smilier.

⭑ when u decided to hang out w her more often after u arrived people were starting to question things

⭑ like how clarisse wasn’t throwing you in the lake

⭑ the only reason she hadn’t done that yet was because she was starting to like having you around, even if she didn’t act like it

⭑ you’d talk to her about your day, spar w her, etc etc

⭑ that was up until the night you realized you liked her more than friends

⭑ you were pacing around your cabin, biting your nails anxiously; when you got to camp, you decided to read about your father, and that included all of his tragedies family wise and love wise.

⭑ you didn’t want to continue that tradition, so you came down to the decision of avoiding clarisse entirely.

⭑ it started becoming noticeable after about two or three days.

⭑ clarisse was more irritable, and people noticed you weren’t around her as much. a lot of the time you’d write in your journal about it.

⭑ whenever you were at the archery range, you’d up and leave as soon as you saw clarisse.

⭑ she wasn’t happy about this

⭑ this had been going on for what felt like forever; clarisse trying to subtly look for you, and whenever she found you you always managed to leave as soon as she was approaching.

⭑ she would’ve never admitted this to anybody, but she missed you. how you would talk non stop about your day and always ask how hers was going. she missed the way you would get shy whenever she called you sunshine because of your descent.

⭑ she ended up having enough when she called out for you at the archery range and you blatantly ignored her, which is how you two got where you are right now

“y/n!”

you cursed to yourself as you started walking the opposite direction, not even bothering to put your bow down.

she didn’t let you go this time, running up to you to turn you around. you had a slight look of anger and fear on your face, and it hurt clarisse to see you look at her like everyone else does.

“why are you avoiding me?” you avoided her eyes. you weren’t really prepared for what would’ve happened when or if she decided to approach you. “is there something you wanted to tell me? any explanation? at all?” she persisted. “i just- it’s hard to talk about, clarisse.” clarisse frowned. you almost never used her full name. “it’s just me, sunshine. just you and me.”

you breathed deep to calm your aching heart. “i like you.”

clarisse stood dumbfounded. “what?” “i have a crush on you, and i was scared to tell you because of my dad and his history with love. i didn’t want to possibly get you killed all because i loved you.” clarisse looked at you for a moment then put her lips with yours.

her hand found your waist as you gripped her forearm. why and since when was she a good kisser? it was getting heated so you pulled away. “why did you do that?” you asked her breathlessly. “we have more of a chance of dying solely because we’re demigods. if i have to die early, i’d rather die knowing me and you were together through everything.” you nodded. “okay.” you whispered out.

“okay?” she repeated. she looked at you with so much love held in her eyes. “okay.” you started grinning.

⭑ let me wrap this up before it gets too long lmao

⭑ to reiterate what i said earlier, yall are the definition of black cat gf + golden retriever gf

⭑ whether its in capture the flag or just strolling around the campgrounds, clarisse is very protective of you

⭑ i’d like to believe she would steal some of ur lotion n stuff cs u got GOOD stuff don’t ask me how i know

⭑ you’d also help eachother out w ur hair like braiding them for games etc etc

⭑ she loved ur voice btw. like u had a naturally pretty voice bc of ur dad, so she’d love to hear u talk. bonus points if ur one of those ppl who sing peoples names instead of js saying them normally

⭑ it took her a minute to get used to it, but atp she does not care about pda; she’s showing u off whether u like it or not

⭑ okay thats it clarisse is my girlfriend #confirmed

[jakesangel]

1 💢 i’m sure he looks fine as hell under his hoodie - ouch my head smau

synopsis : when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her

pairing : loser desperate jake x hot 'meanie' reader aka black cat gf x golden retriever bf

warning : they are all in college so will have college humor w sex jokes n kms/kys jokes

next -

notes : here we go >0< !! a new smau ᵎᵎ been wanting to do one forever it didn't have any idea, i do hope this one will be better than my previous one <3 reminder reblog wiht comment are highly recommend, i love seeing you all reactions >.<

perm taglist ( open ) : @luvj4key @stwrjvke @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee @mioons @en-ner-jay @en-chantedtomeetyou @jlheon @ghostiiess @theyluvfrankocean

ouch my head taglist ( open ) : @onerooza @wonsdoll @lialaiakalaiiaia @nctsshoes2 @tzyunaes @heeseung64 @iselltulips @miszes @jakeswsh @thing89 @dreamiestay @cherrikii @rikisluv @50-husbands @miuhaee @wonwonluvie @zyvlxqht @letwiiparkjay

[angelicsoka]

❛ he so likes her! ❜ wiru quinn and jack noticing luke is crushing

PROM NIGHT, l. hughes

part two <3

word count | 832 words

pairings | luke hughes x best friend!reader, platonic!jack & quinn hughes x reader

summary | luke’s brothers notice his crush on his best friend

prompt | ❛ he so likes her! ❜

warnings | not proofread. no use of “y/n”. mutual pining. reader and luke are oblivious. lowercase intended. this is a work of fiction, i am by no means saying this is how they act in real life.

a/n | i’ve been trying to write but i have very little motivation, but here's this! might make a part two if the people want it :)

being in love with your best friend was horrible. knowing he didn’t feel the same was down right torturous. at least, you assumed he didn’t feel the same.

luke hughes had been your best friend since sixth grade, when one of his buddies cruelly pushed into a locker as you had walked past. luke, angered by his friend’s actions, proceeded to shove him into a locker before going to check on you. the rest was history.

you were the golden retriever to his black cat, the sun to his moon, his ride or die. you two had been through thick and thin together, somehow managing to stay friends when no one else thought you would. 

unbeknownst to you both, jack and quinn had a bet going on how long it would take for one of you to admit your feelings for the other. a bet that had been placed after your senior prom, a night you could never forget.

it was chilly as you sat outside the gymnasium, no longer caring about dirtying up your dress, the night already ruined. you had found your date with his lips locked with another girl, but that wasn’t what hurt the most: it was seeing your best friend slow dancing with girl; a girl that wasn’t you. 

you wiped at the angry and jealous tears as they streamed down your rosy cheeks, angry at yourself for being jealous, angry at yourself for falling for the one boy you could never have.

“hey, there you are! we’ve been look– are you okay?” luke poked his head out the door, concern growing when he noticed the tears that stained your rosy cheeks. you were quick to wipe the remaining tears as luke walked out, letting the door shut behind him. he joined you on the curb as you tried to get rid of the evidence that you had been crying, but it was too late.

“i’m fine, lu. go back in there, have a good time. i’m gonna head home, i’m not feeling the greatest.” you felt guilty about lying to your best friend, not only about not feeling well, but about your feelings.

“you are a terrible liar, you know that?” you couldn’t even look him in the eyes. “fine, don’t tell me, but at least let me drive you home.” you attempted to argue, but luke was stubborn. you both were.

“i don’t want you to miss out on the fun.” you said as luke guided you to his car.

“eh, i wont be missing any fun when the life of the party is in my passenger seat.” luke attempted to entice a smile out of you but it just sent a pang to your heart. “plus, i’d rather hang out with you.” he shrugged.

“what about your date?” 

“oh, she snuck off to make out with ex.” you shot him a look of pity, luke shrugging it off as he backed out. “i knew she was using me to make him jealous, but honestly i don't care.” you knew though that luke was hurt by it, at least more than he was letting on. the rest of the ride was silent, your eyes trained out the window until luke drove right past your house.

“luke, you just passed my house.” you looked to your best friend, eyebrows furrowed.

“i know. i figured we could watch a movie.” you internally groaned. he was not helping you get over this crush, that was for sure. still, you went along, following him into the house when you arrived. 

it was late, his parents still out wherever they had gone, and quinn and jack were somewhere around the house. you accepted the sweats and shirt luke offered you, going to change out of your dress. when you entered the living room, luke had already picked out your favorite movie and was microwaving popcorn. you sat on the couch, cuddling into a blanket he had laid out.

luke joined you moments later, handing you the bowl of popcorn and taking a seat next to you. he started the movie, but you couldn’t focus, not with him as close as he was to you.

soon, the tiredness began to take over, your eyes drooping. it wasn’t long before luke heard soft snores coming from you, your head resting on his shoulder. it brought a smile to his face as he too began to fall asleep. that was how quinn and jack found the both of you; luke’s head rested against yours which was on his shoulder. quinn placed a blanket over you both, before taking a picture of you, a smile on both your faces.

“he so likes her.” jack snickered, quinn nodding along.

“i bet you fifty bucks he tells her first.” quinn whispered as he sent the picture to his parents who were rooting for you two to get together.

“make it a hundred but it’ll be her.” they shook on it before you leaving you to rest.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

My Hero

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: none

Summary: You're sunshine and rainbows. He's darkness and rain storms. You brighten a room. He darkens it. Maybe that's why you two go together so well even if neither of you want to admit it.

Squares Filled: complete opposites (2021) for @lokibingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

This is the last box from the car which you’re grateful for. When you decided to go out shopping to redecorate your room, you didn’t expect to find a bunch of stuff on sale—more than you really need. Never mind that. You’re always happy to have trinkets that make a room lighter.

Tony graciously allowed you to live at the Avengers compound up north in exchange for your shapeshifting skills. You can shift into anyone and anything just by looking at them. You gain their DNA code through your almost x-ray sight, and you’re able to shift into them no matter how small or big they are compared to you.

It’s your specialty.

It took a long time for you to master your skills but you’re always learning something new about yourself. It’s why you’re at the compound. You get to live with living legends such as Steve, Wanda, Sam, Vision, and unfortunately, Loki. The only reason he’s on Earth is because he’s being punished for what he’s done in Asgard. You’re not sure of his crimes but it’s severe enough to banish him from Asgard even if it’s only for a short time. The agreement is that he’d help out with the Avengers until he’s learned his lesson whatever that may be.

The only issue is that you really, really, really don’t like him. It’s not enough to use the word ‘hate’ since you believe that’s such a strong word, but you can’t stand the man. Not only is Loki arrogant and cocky but he hates doing anything remotely helpful. He’s a nuisance most of the time and loves to get under everyone’s skin, especially yours.

It doesn’t help that you two are the complete opposite of each other. He’s a black cat while you’re a golden retriever. He loves being alone while you love being around people. He loves reading and staying in while you love going out. He’s grumpy most of the time whereas you’re all rainbows and sunshine (as he likes to put it). You’ve always been such an upbeat and bubbly person, and you’re not going to let someone like Loki dim your light.

The box you’re carrying to your room contains pink and frilly pillows for your bed along with some yellow curtains you fell in love with at first sight. It won’t keep the light out but it’ll give some color to your white-wall room. You enter your room and notice Loki standing on the other side of the bed looking through one of the boxes you brought in earlier. He’s such a dark contrast to your colorful room.

The walls might be white but you have rainbow lights strung up, pink and yellow picture frames, a blue-framed bulletin board filled with even more pictures of you and your friends, and other pops of color. Loki is the only thing that’s black due to the clothes he’s wearing.

“What are you doing in my room?” you ask and set the box on the bed.

“I’m looking for something.”

“This is only because I’m trying to rise above and be a better person, but what are you looking for? How can I help you?”

Loki pulls out something from the box he’s looking through with a frown.

“Really? Rainbow stickers and dreamcatchers?”

You storm over to him and snatch the items from his hands.

“How can I help you?” you repeat.

“I’m looking for the tape,” he smirks.

“Out of all the rooms you could have gone to, you thought my room was the best to go snooping around for tape?”

“You’re right.” Loki shrugs. “I just wanted to see where you keep your knickers.”

You scoff, grab the tap from your desk drawer, and shove it into his chest.

“There. You have tape. Get out.”

Loki doesn’t argue and leaves while laughing. You can’t help but glare at the spot he was just in. You hate violence despite what you do for a living, but you want to strangle that man sometimes. Push down the negative thoughts. Just focus on you. You put away most of your new decorations and shove the rest of them in your closet. It’s the weekend and there isn’t an active mission to go on so you think you’ll spend it relaxing by the pool and enjoying time to yourself.

You might like being around people but you enjoy time to yourself as well. You quickly change into your bathing suit and grab your towel before heading down to the pool. You pick a lounge chair that’s right below the skylight so that you can still be in the sun. You’re alone for maybe ten minutes before the pool doors open and someone walks in. You look through your sunglasses to see Loki walking in wearing nothing but black swimming trunks.

You roll your eyes and close them again with the intent of ignoring him. He jumps into the pool and makes a big splash in which water splashes on your legs. You have the urge to jump into the pool just to drown him but you keep trying to rise above.

“Come on, love, jump in. The water’s nice.”

“No. Leave me alone.”

Loki has never been good at listening to orders given to him or he does listen and chooses not to follow them. He continues to make noise in the pool to get a rise out of you but you will not sink low enough to give him what he wants. He continues to make noises for a good ten minutes before stopping completely. Finally, some peace and quiet. You smirk and look to the water thinking you have won this round but your eyes go wide when you see him lying facedown in the pool.

You scream and rush over to the edge of the pool. Your glasses had fallen off but you don’t care about that right now. You might not like Loki but you don’t want him dead. You reach in and grab his arm so you can pull him out of the water, and he flops onto the ground like a dead fish. You roll him onto his back and shake his shoulders in an attempt to wake him up.

“Shit, Loki, this isn’t funny. Wake up.” You push at his chest but he doesn’t budge. “Loki?”

One of your previous jobs was as a lifeguard for the public pool in your hometown which you needed to get CPR certified for. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t used it since that time, you still know how to administer it. You start chest compressions on Loki’s chest three times before pinching his nose together and blowing air into his mouth. Three chest compressions and blow into his mouth. You do this twice before going down for a third time.

This time, however, just as your lips touch Loki’s, he reaches up and places his hand on the back of your head to keep you there. He presses you more firmly on his lips and kisses you like you two are a couple. Your brain is working to catch up to the rest of your body and the second his tongue touches yours, it does. You quickly push Loki off you and jump to your feet.

“My hero,” he smirks at your flustered face.

“You’re an asshole.” You snatch your glasses and towel before storming over to the doors. “I hope you drown next time.”

“Oh, come on, love. I was joking,” he laughs.

You want to be mad but the only thing you can think of is stupid Loki with his stupid face and his unbelievably soft lips.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[its-rach-writes]

Like Father Like Son - Chapter One

Pairing: Harry Potter x Reader

Summary: In the midst of a brewing war, a Golden Retriever Gryffindor falls for a Black Cat Slytherin. Hadn't this all happened before?

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of character death,

A/N: Soooo, I'm back in work after having 10 days of annual leave :'( I will be posting every other day instead of every day! Hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think! xxx

Chapter One

It wasn’t like you hated Harry Potter, because you really didn’t but you just didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Your dad had always taught you to be kind to people despite their blood status or Hogwarts house. When you arrived at Hogwarts, you tried to keep an open mind but Potter was simply infuriating.

He didn’t deserve to just be put on the Gryffindor Quidditch team in first year, after spending 5 minutes on a broom. And, you definitely wouldn’t admit that he was a pretty good player. Your infuriation only increased in second year when he emerged bloody and dirty from the Chamber of Secrets. If that had been anyone else, they would have been expelled, Potter didn’t even get points taken from him, in fact he was awarded a special service to the school!

In third year, you had to watch your Uncle love Potter more than he loved you, as they bonded over Potter’s mum and dad. The boy had stumbled his way through the Triwizard Tournament, getting favouritism at every turn, somehow beating students who were intellectually better than him. The tournament had come to a sticky end when he reappeared from the maze, clutching Cedric’s dead body and babbling about Voldemort being back.

In fifth year, oh in fifth year, for the first time in your life, you were grateful for Potter. Grateful that your Uncle wasn’t alone as he quietly slipped through the veil.

The woods were silent as you and your dad foraged in the clearing for potion ingredients. You were a perfectionist so you would be damned if you lost marks because your ingredients were old and shit. Besides, the silence seemed to work wonders for your dad.

“I’m worried for you, dad.”

He scoffed as he put some ingredients into your basket, “why in the world would you be worried for me?”

You bit your lip as the worry swirled in your stomach, “the Defence Against the Dark Arts position is cursed,” you tried not to think about what had befallen the previous Professors. Snape had left the school the year before and your dad had explained to you that the old potions master was coming back so he’d been asked to fill the role of Defence Against the Dark Arts.

“I don’t want what happened to Uncle Sirius happen to you.”

“Oh, my little star,” he pulled you into a hug, completely encasing you in his arms, “nothing is going to happen to me.”

“Love you, dad.”

“I love you too,” he kissed your forehead, “try to be nice to Harry Potter, this year yeah?”

You grumbled into his chest, “I’m not horrible to him or anything but he just infuriates me so much!”

Regulus snorted with a laugh, “yeah, I know the feeling.”

You cursed beneath your breath as the wheel of your suitcase got stuck. Again. It brought you to a grinding halt.

“Hey, Y/N!” you heard Potter before you saw him as he bent down to unstick the wheel. He was always so kind to you, despite your infuriation with him.

“Thanks Potter,” you went to turn away, but you saw how sad his eyes were, despite his smile, “I appreciate that Sirius wasn’t alone.”

Potter nodded as he pushed his glasses up his nose, “how are you doing with that by the way?”

You shrugged, “didn’t really know him.”

Potter scratched the back of his neck and it wasn’t hard to miss the guilt that spread across his face. You could see Granger and Weasley lingering behind him, “see you later, Potter,” you weren’t in the mood to bond over dead loved ones.

Draco waved at you as you pulled open the compartment door and sat between Blaise and Theo, “saw you talking to Potty,” he commented making you laugh.

“Don’t call him that. And, is this the part where you order me not to talk to him?”

Draco scowled at you, “I don’t care who you talk to, Y/N. Just leave me out of it.”

“Deal,” you grinned.

You spent the first hour sharing food with your friends, listening to Enzo’s stories about his summer in Italy. No one asked about your summer, to outsiders it might have looked like they were being rude but you knew they didn’t want to cause you unnecessary pain. You loved them for that.

Pansy looked up from where she was painting her nails, “isn’t your dad teaching Defence this year?” when you nodded, she smirked, “your dad’s hot.”

“What?!” you squawked.

“Come on! We’ve all seen the photograph of you and him that you put on your bedside. He’s sexy.”

“I agree,” Blaise spoke up, grinning at you, “Regulus Black is a dilf.”

You gagged dramatically, “both of you can keep your filthy mitts off my dad!”

The teasing continued until an eagle owl flew in through the open window looking bedraggled from the earlier rain. It landed on your lap and you took the note from its beak. Sparing a glance at the others, you broke the seal and read the letter, getting worried with every word.

“Mattheo’s not coming back this year,” you said as you passed the letter to Theo.

“Did you see him at yours over the summer?” Blaise asked. Voldemort had been taking up residence in the Malfoy Manor.

Draco shrugged, “when he wasn’t shut up in the guest room,” he glanced at you, “I’m surprised I didn’t see you over the summer.”

“My dad fell out of favour just before I was born,” ever since you were little you’d lived in a cute little house in a valley, by a lake.

But when Voldemort had returned a couple of years prior Regulus had moved you back to his mother’s house. It was unplottable on a map and had various enchantments to deter intruders though your dad still had to use Polyjuice Potion each time he left the house. Maybe Dumbledore has figured that he’d be safer at Hogwarts.

The rest of the journey was sobering as you all constructed a reply back to your friend, hoping he was alright. As the train reached the platform, Pansy outstretched her hand to Draco who stayed seated while the rest of you got up. He told the rest of you to go in ahead and he’d catch up.

You turned to Pansy as you got onto the platform, “you know, you can do a lot better than him right?” she’d had a crush on Draco for years.

“Trust me, I know that now. But, he really is the safest option right now.”

Draco quickly caught up to you while you were waiting to go into The Great Hall, he shoved his hands into his pockets as he followed you in. As you got to the Slytherin table, Pansy pouted as she looked up at the teacher’s table.

“I can’t see your gorgeous dad because Theodore is in the way!”

“I’m not encouraging your sick crush,” Theo laughed as he turned to wink at you.

“Thanks, Theo,” you giggled.

Soon enough, Dumbledore introduced the new Professors, Horace Slughorn and your dad, “there he is,” Pansy hissed in your ear over all the applause, you could hear the smirk in her voice.

Halfway through dinner, Potter walked in holding a bloody rag to his face as he sat down with his friends.

You turned to Draco, “what the fuck did you do?”

“What makes you think I did something?”

“You’re the only person who would,” you scoffed as you watched the boy mop at his face with an already bloodied rag. You grabbed a wad of tissues from your bag and walked over, “Potter, here,” you all but pushed the tissues into his hands.

“Y/N, thanks!” he grinned, even though it split his lip open, blood immediately running down his chin.

“Don’t get it twisted, didn’t want to watch you make a scene,” you spun on your heel and walked back across the hall, missing the way that Potter watched you with a dazed expression.

------------

Taglist: @hiireadstuff

[absolutebl]

Meet You At the Blossom - Watch Along

Maybe a trash watch? We will find out.

But first what do we know about this show?

Well, I can't for the life of me remember the title. The article placement it too weird so it will henceforth be called Blossom okay?

Here's what I learned from @renafire

Duck daddy!!!!! I bring news! China didn't kill the gays! Meet You at the Blossom is an HEA! Golden retriever XiaoBao x ice prince Huaien (who gets the shit stabbed out of him an awful lot for being a ML). A side CP of dumb, pretty bodyguard x eccentric doctor. The background plot was basically a bunch of middle age men fighting about the ML's long dead mother. Needles! So many needles! (It was practically a sickfic tbh) Flapping sleeves! Flowing hair! Poison! Politics! A villain weirdly into kites! Prisoners in chains you can easily slip your hand through! Dimples! Loyal bodyguards becoming family! It's not the best thing ever, but it ends happily! There was even a line about "true love has nothing to do with gender" which I feel like is a big deal for something associated with China?

This convinced me to watch, so I thought I'd just post it verbatim to convince you, too.

So I'd refused to watch Blossom because I assumed the leads would die or at least be torn asunder at the end, and that there would be no kisses.

So this Watch Along is going to be me eating crow.

China pretty much always does censored BL (when they do it at all) since 2017 or so. You can watch something like My E-Sports Genius Brother for the style of "happy but censored BL" that I've grown to expect from China. (Although I wouldn't necessarily recommend it.)

They didn't used to do this! Time once was that China was this chaotic minefield of tasty mess meets terrible tropes (like kidnapping, stepbrothers, rape, whipping boy, and dub con). I had a weird love for it at the time because it was the Wild Wild World of BL beck then and I didn't know to expect better.

I come from 90s Yaoi. Remember?

Ah the bad old days. (You can read a history of CBL here. Not updated in ages.)

Where was I?

So, what I knew about Blossom was that it was a Wuxia BL and that it was made with Thailand, or for Thailand, or something to do with Thailand (there is Thai script on the promo material) and that it wasn't being distributed inside Mainland China. (I still worry about the actors but that's kinda a natural state for me and BL outside of Japan.)

Outside of China Blossom got wide distribution showing up everywhere iQIYI (China based), Viki (Japan based), Gaga (Taiwan based) WeTV (US Based) and YouTube (Thai Channel Artop Media is serving it).

It also looks like Heavenly is involved and they are Korea based. So like, everyone had their mitts on this thing. We live in crazy times.

Okay so, here are my 20 expectations:

Pony tails with a ribbon or two

Lots of questionable older tropes, especially dub-con & kidnapping (the herb that makes you horny maybe?)

Flowing filmy robes wafting everywhere

EXTREMELY PRETTY men, costumes, make up, setting... well, everything

No consent whatsoever

Pokey pokey, but not with the right kind of swords (a naked blade will be grabbed by a naked hand, sadly also not in the preferred way)

A bodyguard hotter than he has any right to be, wearing black

Floaty fighty fighty, including but not limited to: skid backwards through puffs of dust, a leap to land + one knee down + holding sword + head bowed, a twirly protect baby from baddies

A boat in a lotus pond

Poison, probably green, glittery if I'm lucky

Circular architecture

A big fuck off fan

Puppy-cat pairing

They wander through bamboo, sit down at the edge of a lake, probubly on a log

Wound tending, of course, because there will be lots of wounds

Someone pushed onto a platform bed (also kneeling in front of it)

A jail with straw in it

Older men with sparse beards detracting from the romance

Fruit or some other food being thrown

Some serious SLEEVE action.

Li Le as Zong Zheng Huai En

Probably the reserved unhinged one. Has sword, will prod.

He has a solid track record of shows under his belt. So to speak. One wonders how they persuaded him to do BL. He sure is pretty tho.

Wang Yun Kai as Jin Xiao Bao

The son of the wealthiest man in the Jiangnan region, probably the cheerful cute one.

He's an entirely green actor.

Most of the cast is from mainland China, with the exception of Achi Sukonlaphat Sribubpha, who is Thai (obvs) and under Artop Media.

Nancy Chen is directing

She is a Taiwanese director and screenwriter, who directed HIStory 4 and HIStory 5 (neither all that great) and was behind very queer friendly Pappy & Daddy.

I wouldn't call her a stellar director. I would say I've been reserving judgement, but if you pin me down I'd call her Taiwan's New.

Pitch

Xiao Bao (cute) falls in love with icy, white-robed stunner Huai En due to an unexpected meeting. Discovers she is actually a boy (and a baddie). Hijinx ensue.

Adapted from the novel Hua Kai You Shi Tui Mi Wu Sheng 花开有时, 颓靡无声 by Shui Qian Cheng 水千丞

Co-production with China and Taiwan. But the country of origin is listed as Thailand.

12 Episodes, 40 min each (or so) for a total fresh content run time of 8 hours.

Aired: Jul 11, 2024 - Aug 15, 2024 on iQiyi, Viki, WeTV, Gaga

Shall we get started?

I had a surfeit of options since Viki, Gaga, and iQIYI all had Blossom. I like Viki's interface best, want to support Gaga the most, but in this case, I opted for iQIYI because... screen shots. So it's all your fault.

EPISODE 1: Nicknames, pretty men, dimples, twirly, stabby, floof!

I don't like the intro music, it's too slow and tinkly, but classic for the genre I suppose. Still I'm fast forwarding through all the falling cherry blossoms.

All right. Now it's about time for... YES...

Emperor Infodump

Chancellor of Extraneous Explanations

As You Know Bo

Sorry sorry. The puns must flow.

The deets: layabout emperor = chaos & suffering. New emp = strong & popular but his baby bro wants to rule. New emp exiles bro to obscurity. New emp = good ruler. Order established through patriarchal dominance. Children laughing in the street. Got it.

I will not be remembering names, FYI.

We open on kid in trouble over a kite killed(?) by baddie.

Enter pretty spangled skippy puppy McDimples. I shall call him Dimples. Dimples = spoiled rich kid having trouble finding a wife - presumably because they all know he gay.

Enter hottie evil cut-glass cheekbones McPoutypants. Haven't decided what I shall call him. It'll come to me.

Extremely pretty men. CHECK.

Ooo, a big hat on horse back!

Of course, how could I not have had that trope on my checklist? My bad.

And a bunch of assassins slow-dropping out of trees like lazy fruit. I forgot that, too.

I gotta say, fairy prince or high elf is not a bad moniker for twirly-sword cheekbones supreme.

Floaty fighty fighty! CHECK

Oh, I thought they'd go in for crossdressing at the very least but I guess they went for Dimples is an idiot instead. Interesting choice. I see we also have the "baby is a clumsy bunny" trope all set to deploy. Carry on.

Grab the sword and skid through the dirt. CHECK!

And a fainting!

Pony tail with ribbons. CHECK

Dimples might be a bit too much of a prat and an idiot for me.

[Have begun watching at 1.25 speed. Don't fault me.]

I always find the orange/yellow eye makeup that Cdramas put on characters of questionable morality fascinating. Why those colors specifically? And why eye makeup specifically?

We arrive home. It fancy. Daddy doesn't want an unknown lady for his baby (silly daddy, ladies are for ladies, boys are for boys).

Everyone acknowledging that elf prince is, in fact, The Prettiest is very pleasing to me.

Meanwhile, there is some kind of list/stuff/thingy and Prince Shen wants it and is a bad guy, maybe? I can't remember names from the beginning so I have no idea what's going on with the plot but also, it is only going to get more convoluted. Plus the weekend is coming so I'll eventually be drinking and watching this. Plot is for people who don't like BL. And don't have six bottles of sake in their fridge.

Snicker.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Judiciously NOT following the plot.

Dimples and his 2 enablers seem to share about 1/3 of a braincell between them. But they're sincere about it.

Engage secret identity trope and the expected cross dressing.

Ooo Shen is The Prettiest's uncle? Damn it I'm trying to follow the plot again. Must not get sucked into plot. This is a Cdrama therein lies madness. Ah, Prettiest is the son of the emperor's exiled younger bro? Got it.

Twirly protect baby from baddies! CHECK

And that's episode 1 in the bag. In the sheath?

My thoughts so far:

This couldn't be more exactly what I expected if it tried. I mean it is trying. And it's succeeding in being a Wuxia BL. So. Yay! Performing to the packaging. I appreciate that in a show.

I'm looking forward to more.

(On the advice of one of my spies I've switched to watching on YT when I can, YT and Gaga are supposed to have the better subs than iQIYI and Viki. That said I found iQIYI's serviceable.)

EPISODE 2: Checking a bunch of stuff off my list in rapid succession

Poisoning?

No. Sex herb? CHECK

Discovery that she is in fact he?

Dominance Tussle? Dub con? Rape? Already? CHECK

Well that came fast (presumably so did he).

There’s a lot happening all at once at the beginning of just ep 2. 

It’s an ACCOUNT BOOK that’s causing all this fuss? Hilarious. 

Enter the anticipated hottie (bodyguard? spy?) in all black wearing a hedgehog. CHECK

(I didn’t expect the hedgehog, I have to admit.)

Oh is the single brain cell society is trying to grow additional brain cells? That's not gonna work.

Cheekbones is still the prettiest.

Oh HELLO stern grabby Daddy not-older brother of yummy. We likey.

Who do you belong to?

Why do you have The Biggest Sleeves?

Do I take that as a sign of gayness?

Please? 

Ooo looks like I’m right. 

Also this is very silly.

And "I never said she was a woman."

It’s just so funny.

OH NO!

Stern prince bro is leaving already?

I only had Grabby McDaddy for a very short length of time. I already miss him. 

Meanwhile, Dimples apparently has no compunction about being in love with a man, we blew through a bisexual identity crisis while I wasn't looking, and now we exist inside the gay=okay bubble? I did not expect The Bubble(tm) to show up in a Wuxia, but I guess this is a BL universe and we all just float around in it… 

Cheekbones is a bit of an asshole. Quite apart from the, ya know, bit of rapey rape thing.

I also did not have absolutely terrible VO dubbing on my bingo card. I forgot about that one in Cdramas.

EPISODE 3: Distracted by the pretty

Some kind of dark past for dimples and his little (not blood ) sister. 

Sniff test, the greatest trope of 2024 apparently. Nice to see the execution of a modern trope in a vintage style BL.

Aa ha! Kneeling next to a platform bed. CHECK

And more poisoning and drugs.

Wound tending. CHECK

Aweeeee Dimples is worried about Cheekbones! How cute.

Also, the ice queen appears to be melting.

Ooo. More sexitimes? Consensual this time. Okay. I guess Taiwan did get its nuts all over this show. (Honestly, that was a mistype but I'm keeping it in.)

The bit with all the bodyguards was great.

And my love for Mr. All-Black Clued-in Hottie persists.

We are now in the “does he like me back?” phase of the high school narrative. We are also in the "do I like him at all?" part of the narrative. Suddenly, this is an angsty YA. 

Ice queen has melted and is now turning into jelly. (Can you tell I’m very pleased with myself and this metaphor?) 

And now, Dimples is sick?

Boy, is this fast moving! I have to say, that is something I did not expect at all. Usually Cdramas are much slower than this.

I do love how shameless D imples is. It’s kind of delightful. He’s definitely in his bisexual awakening slut phase.

Cheekbones is also a doctor, apparently. Useful man. 

In other news: I would really like to add a full length crossover wafting robe into my wardrobe. I have no idea why I feel compelled by such a thing.

EPISODE 4: Gay sleeves AT last

Not a lot happened in this episode. Mostly flirting. More backstory and plot that doesn’t really matter. Presumably this intended to be character motivation?

We do not need him to be motivated we need him to be pretty. Understand the brief please.

Why no more floaty floaty sleeves?

Oooo, because sleeves in gay! CHECK

I did like the scene of the blood being cleaned up after the assassination attempt(?). It’s kind of nice to see that depicted for a change. I always worry about all that blood on that nice stone work.

Oh the handholding it was very cute.

Ice queen has melted and now turned entirely to jelly. Very very jelly.

Dimples is so stupid proud of his tall deadly wife. It's flipping adorable in a very goofy way.

I guess Cheekbones has come around and now Dimples has officially been claimed, multiple times and in multiple ways. He can't change his mind or anything now. Trouble is afoot...

asleeve?

ahead...

ahem.

I'll stop now.

EPISODE 5 - It is a Thing I guess?

OMG Cheekbones just loves his stilly bint of a bf. It’s absolutely absurd. The ultimate puppy/cat pairing.

I love it that he’s just casually walking around with a knife sticking out of his back and only cares that baby may have gotten a splinter in his finger.

Now we are in the vows portion of the early romance. I am assuming betrayal is coming soon? 

Grabby McDaddy! I missed you! Here to perform the part of Basil Exposition I see? No grabby for me? Sad. Unfortunately, if you aren’t flirting with a man I’m going to be fast forwarding. Although your sleeves are very nice.

Uh oh, Dimples is in trouble. 

Okay that was that. No screen caps, I lazy.

EPISODE 6 - DOOOMMMM

Oh lovely. More rape. I guess Dimples went looking for that response? Is that the implication? Does Dimples have a rape kink? What is with this show? 

No brothels for a baby I guess.

It’s not gay... it’s poison? 

It’s not bisexuality... it’s the slut herb? 

The single brain cell club is now the wailing fates. 

I guess cutting off a man’s hand out of jealousy is no biggie? Well this is a BL. Jealousy is the #1 excuse!

Fighty floaty blood spatter death! This time on wooden planks. Those are impossible to get clean. 

Meanwhile, there’s a lot of backstory and stuff I don’t care about, and probably can’t follow even if I did care about it.

I don’t like the Emperor at all. But then I don’t think I meant to. I am a little shocked that there aren’t more men with sparse beards distracting from the romance. But I guess this is a BL, they go for youth even in wuxia.

EPISODE 7 - You know what they say about a man with big sleeves?

Oh, Daddy McGrabby is back and he's a good guy (?)! He’s also in love with Dimples. 

Oh no!

What is this sensation I feel being thrust upon me?

Is that…? Is that second lead syndrome?  I think it is.

Oh well, it was fated the moment I saw the length of his... sleeves in episode 2.

Meanwhile?

Dimples gets tortured by acupuncture. 

Poisonings are always so elegant and classy in Cdramas.

Blah blah captured rescued captured rescued again sort of. Cheekbones is now seriously imperiled. We swap one for the other in Grave Danger (TM).

Enter the Divine Doctor character! Who (Dr) I have been told reliably by previous witnesses is A Favorite. I do love this particular archetype (quirky healer wise beyond his years - sometimes actual immortal. ) I am prepared to be delighted.  

EPISODE 8 - Divine Doctor is Emperor of the Gays

The divine doctor and 1/3 brain cell is not a pairing I thought was going to happen. Frankly it doesn't seem like the writers thought about it much either.

But it did make me laugh out loud.

It’s fantastic. I love them. I love this for me. I love a secondary couple for this show. Carry-on.

I LOVE THE DOCTOR SO MUCH. 

Everyone was absolutely correct. He is the best character. He is my favorite. He is openly gay and a troublemaker and absolute queen. And I adore him forever. No notes.

King Emperor behavior!

The evil crown prince has a crush on Daddy McGrabby. With good reason, he does have the biggest sleeves.

(I have a crush on Daddy McGrabby.) And he clearly likes brats, so I think the crown prince is in with a chance, actually.

(Not me, sadly. Despite the rumors I am not a brat. I make no case for this.)

EPISODE 9 - The Plot Thickens like Shampoo

Oh, Cheekbones is the new crown prince? We have a whole Snape situation going on here?

And finally Cheekbone knows what is happened to his poor little tortured Dimples. (oof that acting tho. before you say "what acting" i KNOW.)

In all honesty, I’m quite engaged by the drama of the show at this point and kind of losing my snark because of it. Don't get mad at me.

It’s not a bad show. I mean it’s a melodramatic soap opera, but that’s to be expected. It's so soapy it's like one of those extra foamy soap dispenser soaps.

To be entirely fair most gay men of my acquaintances have very similar relationship trajectories. Minus some of the casual murder (aside from character assassinations of course). 

EPISODE 10 - Oh Noes All Round

Not enough of my beloved divine doctor emperor of the gays. But you can’t have everything. 

Oh noes, my babies are fighting. 

But he brought you a big thistle! Don't fight!

Oh they get to kind of make up, or something. It’s sweet. Puppy Dimples accidentally caught himself a psychopath. To be fair tho, all cats are psychopaths at heart.

Oh noes Daddy McGrabby is planning on killing Cheekbones. No Daddy. Not the Cheekbones!

The cheek kiss from Cheekbones was so romantic. Normally I’m not a huge fan of this particular smooch, but under these circumstances it was very good.

EPISODE 11 - So Many Gay Emperors no one cares about the actual emperor

I wish I could shut somebody up by a simple double tap to the collarbone. It’s like the wuxia version of a block feature on tumblr.

Meanwhile, the part where 2/3 of a brain cell are comparing how hot their respective fierce gay emperors are to each other is truly hilarious. I actually clapped.

This is so ridiculous.

Epic eye roll from the remaining 1/3 of a brain cell. And I have to say I’m on his side in this matter.

Oh noes Daddy McGrabby is not, in fact, on the side of twrew lurve after all.

How sad. 

EPISODE 12 - The Bisexual In the Bathtub & other nursery rhymes of my youth

I love this silly bint of a bisexual in the bath between two fierce gay dudes who are about to give their life force to keep him alive.

Someone definitely once drew this as Lord of the Rings fanart 20 years ago.

I guess our single brain cell has been torn asunder. And Daddy McGrabby never did get his man.

Next series?

Bing him back to me.

With EVEN BIGGER SLEEVES!

IN CONCLUSION

All cards on the table?

This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL.

Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual Disaster dimples of his dreams. There’s a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it was exactly as it claimed to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming.

I’m not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like:

Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded.

This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely.

I’m so glad you all persuaded me to watch it in the end.

Thank you! 

I should probably give it an 9/10 because I had such a good time watching it. But I’m not going to, because it isn’t a 9/10 drama. It had a lot of flaws chewing at that pretty (boom mic riddled) scenery, not to mention all the rapey rape.

It’s a solid 8/10

(source)

[hongjoongspoetry]

Bones, Blood and Teeth Erode - Teaser

⚠️ Pairing(s): Jeong Yunho x F!Reader

⚠️ Genres/Tropes: non-idol AU, zombie apocalypse AU, horror, romance, hurt/comfort, a lot of action, smut, a lil comedy, golden retriever x black cat

⚠️ Warnings/Tags: female reader, no use of (Y/N), explicit language, use of weapons (guns, knives), blood and gore (quite descriptive), zombies, murder, reader is a badass... more to come

⚠️ Wordcount: Estimated 30-40K

⚠️ A/N: As it's still a WIP, nothing is set in stone and scenes can be changed until the whole work is published. I also don't have a summary ready, but... enjoy! 😀

This is all fiction and not meant to represent the idols involved in any way or form. This work is NSFW and not appropriate for minors as it contains explicit scenes, not just sexual content, but descriptions of both physical and verbal fights, as well as adult language and gore. Minors and ageless blogs, please, refrain from reading or interacting with this work or my blog!!!

AO3 Masterlist Click on me!

Yunho was there in seconds to haul you off the ground, his hand grabbing the back of your shirt, shouting at you to run.

“Are you deaf?! Go!” 

It was the harsh push to your shoulder that finally got you moving. Slow and uncertain steps, but moving nonetheless thanks to Yunho barking orders behind you. One would think you had never stepped foot outside the prison walls, let alone gone on numerous resource runs. Everything between Yunho’s push to you reaching the make-up store was a blur. The blood covering your knife and hands — along with the trail of corpses left behind you — being the only proof you had been involved in the massacre. 

“I told you to get inside!” 

You jumped as Yunho’s hand landed on your forearm, tugging you toward the store. Throwing a glance over your shoulder, you counted over a hundred rotting heads. The shutters would only hold a dozen until it broke and they tore you apart. 

Yunho watched the gears turn in your head and got a whiff of what you planned to do. “Don’t.”

The foreign depth in his voice did nothing to change your mind and he noticed it too, thus holding onto you until his fingers turned white and the veins of his hands protruded. You snapped out of the haze as another forceful tug bruised your arm. Determined to see your plan till the end, you used the element of surprise to your advantage and bore your teeth into his wrist, just enough for Yunho to loosen his hold on you and give you the chance to step back. You ripped your bag off your shoulders and slung it at Yunho, who caught it with an ‘oomph’, successfully keeping him down on his rear for a few extra seconds. His raspy call of your name clawed at your heart. Something was eating you from the inside, but you ignored the wails of your soul and kicked the cart with all your might, allowing the shutters to fall with a bang. Your stubbornness wasn’t the sole thing to stand between you two anymore.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

You paid little mind to the burning feeling in your chest and the flame dancing across his features. Leaving him there would hurt, but it would be hell to see him get ripped to shreds knowing he had a chance of surviving. Back at the prison, you only had one person to look out for whilst Yunho was a pillar for many. You couldn’t do that to them. To Hongjoong, Mingi, Wooyoung… Heck, you couldn’t do it to yourself. Angry Yunho was a fleeting image. It would pass, but the Yunho with cheesing eyes and heart shaped lips pulled in a joyous smile would forever be engraved in your memory. 

“It’s not going to hold,” you gestured to the stupid shutter. “Get home and make sure the stuff gets to Hongjoong.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving without you!”

“Tell Nari I love her–”

His fist slammed against the metal cover and for a moment you thought it would crumble beneath his touch. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You’re going to tell her yourself because we’re going back together!”

There was so much on your mind. What to say, what message to leave the others; apologies and closure or a last round of advice?

“I’ll find you. Outside, I’ll find you. I’m not dyi… “ Your throat tightened at the empty promise. You didn’t know if you said that to reassure him or yourself. “Ten minutes. If I’m not outside in ten minutes, you’ll leave. Yunho, promise me you’ll leave.”

If only you knew what you were doing to his poor soul. Asking him of the impossible. He could promise you anything you wanted, anything in this cursed world and he’d hand it to you on a silver platter. Anything, but that. Leaving you behind was like signing his own death sentence. He’d be nothing, but the shell of a man. An empty, hollow, useless shell with the bitter taste of resentment for both your selfless and selfish sacrifice. Yunho knew agreeing to keep the promise would give you a peace of mind yet, if anything happened to you, he’d be haunted by the memories of you until his very last breath.

Across from him, you waited as if time wasn’t about the most sacred thing you could have. A mix of concern and determination wedged in your beautiful features and Yunho knew he had to speak, although he didn’t want to because the words rolling off his dry tongue would be some kind of agreement to your request. 

“Yunho, please.”

The burning fire in his eyes dimmed as a wave of tears washed over them. They looked magical, even when obscured by grief and longing for the one still alive. His bottom lip formed into a pout to keep from trembling just as his hands balled into fists for that same reason. The sand continued seeping out of the imaginary hourglass, no matter how much Yunho tried scooping it back inside, the universal clock wouldn’t stop ticking. 

With great effort — his lips parted and the shaky breath released aimed straight at your heart as did the tears brimming his red eyes which were a reflection of your own — he nodded. “I promise… but don’t make me fulfill it.”

In another life, the vow would be exchanged in a happier setting, surrounded by friends and family. Vacant of gloomy clouds and death knocking at your door, and filled with belly laughter and tears of joy instead. A time where the promise of sacrifice was made out of love and not for survival.

“Yunho, I–”

The remaining seven letters died in your throat as cold and wrinkly fingers sunk into your shoulder. Yunho watched you scramble from the touch, his heart pounding for your safety, and felt completely useless. He couldn’t breathe until your blade was driven into the side of the biter’s head and the creature landed with a thud, blood pooling at your feet. The growling worsened and you needed to get a move on if you ever planned on seeing another shift between the sun and moon. 

“Come back to me, do you understand?” 

Your eyes met for what could be the last time and you drank him in like he was a part of the seven wonders of the world. 

His messy charcoal strands falling over his equally dark brows, knitted together with a crease in the middle that you wanted to smooth out. Trailing down to his naturally puffy eyes reflecting a storm of emotions — thundering anger and heavy anguish — threatening to spill over with tears. Your throat tightened. You couldn’t bear seeing the pain you inflicted upon him and hastily followed the slope of his pretty nose, red as a ripe strawberry. A beautiful blush, probably stemming from his anger, kissed his round cheeks and spread to his ears. The need to reach out and touch him, caress him with reassurances that everything would be fine, grew at the sight of his trembling lips.

The angel on your shoulder whispered for you to run. Another whisper — this time from the devil — tingled your ears with the statement to stay a little longer. You wanted to heed the little red fella, but what you wanted wasn’t what you needed, so with a final nod, you tore away from his painful gaze and willed yourself not to turn back around because if you did, you wouldn’t be able to leave. 

With fear and adrenaline pumping through your veins and the promise of returning alive, you slipped on the mask of a soldier — putting a pause to the war in your head — and faced the army of the dead. 

“Come get me, fucking assholes!”

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