#i love my friend but i cant afford that and eat <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[basicloserb]

Dude no I fucked up

I forgot USD AUD conversion shit and the site didn't have it showing g anywhere so me being the idiot I am just fucking ordered it and instead of $66 I was charged $100...

Already sad I was having to pay $40 for shipping and then like... that happens...

And it was a final sale item 🎉

So non-returnable but like that wasn't my problem, I wanted the jumper as a gift but I didn't budget spending $100 on 1 (singular) jumper... like it's cute but not $100 cute

[nomairuins]

so to do my testing i need a state id but to get my state id i need a social security card bc i lost mine so im waiting up to 15-20 days for social security to send me a verification number in the mail so that i can apply for a new social security card and then ill have to wait for that to get to me and then i can go get my ky id and hopefully not get in trouble for taking so long to get my id changed and THEN i can schedule my ged classes. and by then ill probably have finished my math and science ged readys which is good and ummm i think thats all. itll prolly be a permit rather than a state id so i can work on learning to drive since we have a nice Not horrible car . and then ill know how to drive which will be helpful to me even if it takes me a while to actually own a car... but itd be helpful to Be able to drive yk. even if i am quite late... and once i get all of that done then thats like finally finished and then i can get a job again and start saving up money for when i am ready to move out...

[gavisfanta]

heyyy, can you do one where pedri gives flowers to the reader?

thank you if answered 🫶🏻

LOVE LANGUAGE - PEDRI

summary: pedri gives you roses

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: school started again so I'm a bit busy but I'll try to publish more!

"Ay Pedri" Gavi yelled over to pedri who was just walking into the locker room to get changed.

"Yeah?" Pedri turned around abruptly as he looked at one of his bestfriends standing there, looking at him.

"You wanna get something to eat?" Gavi asked as Ferran also walked up to Gavi and wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind.

"I'd be in too." Ferran said and Pedri opened the door and walked inside, Ferran and Gavi followed him just seconds later.

"I cant, I have to go home." Pedri answered while he took off his shirt.

"Oh right, he has to go home to his girlfriend." Ferran smiled a bit as he got undressed to go into the shower.

"You still haven't interduced us to her properly." Gavi noticed while also taking off his clothes and so did Pedri.

"We can go out and eat something tonight, I'll bring her too if you insist." Pedri rolled his eyes as a small grin made its wat to his face.

"Oh I do insist, I wanna know who made my hermano fall so hard for her." Gavi laughed while walking into the shower.

The three of them stayed a bit longer to play a bit more after practice.

The others had already left that also meant that they had to clean the shower, they didnt really had to but the team did it every single time to spare the cleaners some time.

After the three of them were done showering and got dressed they cleaned the shower, and then walked to the car.

"Can you give me a ride hermano?" Gavi asked as he put a hand on Pedris shoulder.

"Of course, of course." Pedri mumbled and laughed a bit, his friend still didnt have his drivers lisence.

That was the one thing that was known about Gavis and Pedris friendship, Pedri was the driver and Gavi was the passengers princess.

Gavi could easily order Taxis but that was one of the things he hated the most.

Not because he couldn't afford it but because he gave strangers his address, especially in Barcelona it was so annoying to him that he would sit in the back with his hood up begging that nobody would notice him through the window.

It was okay when it was Pedri because he was obviously used to it, but the taxi drivers were diffrent.

So Gavi stuck with Pedri as his driver.

Pedri didn't mind because when you didnt stuck with him, he was mostly bored while driving.

So now Gavi was sitting in your seat and scrolling on his phone. "How did you even meet her?" Gavi asked, interested in his bestfriends relationship he managed to hide from his teammates and the media for two months.

Pedri had told them a week ago that you two were officially together and they still wouldn't leave him alone, he wasn't mad about that, in the end he loved talking about you.

"She was my brothers friend." Pedri said and Gavi smiled a bit.

"Damn you broke the bro rule." Gavi laughed out loud.

Pedei just responded with a nod, he loved the way you two met, he still remembers every small detail of it and so did you.

3 months ago:

Tenerife was one of the most beautiful places on earth, you were convinced by that fact.

That proved itself as Fer and you were hanging out at your usual spot, Fer was sipping on a beer while you drank the Fanta in your hand.

"I never wanna leave this place." you whispered while looking at the beach in front of you, the water was calm.

"You might want to, Barcelona is even prettier." Fer said proudly, you knew exactly how he loved to brag about his Brother living in one of the most beautiful cities in spain, not only that but he also played at Barca.

You've never actually met Pedri before, everytime Pedri came home to visit his brother and his parents you left them alone. Knowing he didn't see them that often you wanted to give them some time together.

"I've never been to Barcelona before." You noticed. Fer chuckled a bit before sitting up straight.

"You could come with me, I'm going the day after tomorrow." Fer suggested and you made a face. "I know you've never met Pedri before but I'll interduce yoy and we're gonna go and watch the game." Fer explained.

You broke the eye contact and looked back at the water. "What if he won't like me?"

"He will like you, he has to like you because you are my bestfriend." Fer patted your shoulder as you nodded your head.

"Is he really that arrogant as other people say he is?" You asked ironically.

"Oh he definitely is." Fer laughed.

So soon it was time to go to Barcelona. You worked for Fers parents at their restaurant so Fer had convinced his parents to let you leave with him.

As soon as you were sitting on the plane you couldn't help but be anxious.

Pedri was very important to a lot of people, if he was like people described him, he was a complete shithole.

Three and a half hours later Fer and you arrived in Barcelona. Sooner than you knew you were infront of a very expensive looking white house.

"I'm so happy that you two will finally meet." Fer whispered to you before the door swung open and you came face to face with Pedri who wore a huge grin on his face.

"Pedri!" Fer went into a hug immediately. Pedri hugged him back and after Fer pulled away he looked at you again.

"Pedri this is my bestfriend Y/n, and I'm sure you know that this is Pedri." Fer at first turned to his brother and then to you.

As you met Pedris eyes for the first time, you expected everything but this.

He was smiling, the sun hit his face perfecy, his face looked perfect and you immediately got lost in his eyes.

"Nice to meet you," Pedri said shyly, he brought his hand closer to you, you shook his hand and looked up with a smile on your face.

You were almost surprised that you didn't hear confidence in his voice. "Nice to meet you too, I heard a lot about you."

"Good or bad things?" pedri smiled, that shy smile sent shivers down your spine.

"You wouldn't like the answer."

"Okay, well let's go inside." Fer said suddenly and then walked past Pedri, Pedri however needed two extra seconds to part his eyes from yours.

You and Fer went to watch his game the next day, it was a success l because Pedri scored.

After that game the three of you went out to party to Raphinhas house. But you were pretty bored because you didnt know anyone from there. So Pedri and you went into a McDonald's drive in.

That night, as you two were sitting in Pedris Mini, while eating the unhealthiest food on planet earth, Pedri looked into your eyes.

That was the moment he knew he had fallen in love with you, and he obviously knew that he was screwed.

The others met you as Fer's bestfriend, they looked at you as Fer's Bestfriend. But Pedri looked at you as the only girl that made him feel the things he felt at that moment.

He knew it was a bit early to say but he could already imagine having a family with you.

After it was time for you and Fer to go home Pedri begged you to stay, you didn't know at that moment why he wanted you to stay but you did.

Especially because Pedri convinced his parents to let you stay, and his brother too. He said that he wanted to show you the city. He paid for a way too expensive hotelroom for you and also paid for your flight back.

That gave the two of you 2 more weeks together.

One week before you had to go home you realized that you had feelings for him, you weren't sure if that was the case with Pedri too.

Pedri showed you every part of Barcelona, every part he could visit without getting recognized and possibly killed.

After an el clasico win at home Pedri stormed to you, you were waiting in the tunnel for him.

Pedri didn't know what was going through his mind, he just felt the adrenaline rush through his veins.

He received a lot of weird looks as he sprinted over to the tunnel. As you saw Pedri running toward you, you also didn't know what was happening.

Pedri was breathing heavily as he put his hand on your neck, caressing your jaw with his thumb. You looked at him shocked at the sudden movement. "Y/n, I know this is so so wrong, but I love you, I've loved you ever since that damn party.And- And I want you to stay here." Pedri was looking at you, his eyes sparkling while looking at you.

"I love you too." You breathed out with a smile on your face.

As soon as you said that a smile flashed up on his face immediately. In that moment he felt the adrenaline rush again and kissed you.

His soft lips on yours felt like heaven and his hands on your body felt even more like heaven.

Too bad that there were a lot of interviewers still on the field and in the background of live tv, you were seen kissing Pedri, well the other way around.

But that didn't matter as Fer flew back to Barcelona immediately.

He was fuming with anger as to why Pedri kissed his bestfriend. He liked that you amd Pedri were getting along but not this much.

In the end Pedri and you ended up together, Fer didn't agree to it at first but after about a month he accepted it.

Luckily he did.

"Thanks for the ride Pedri, see you tonight!" gavi yelled as he got out of the car and walked towards his door.

Pedri watched him walk off, he then drove off and went to the nearest store.

Meanwhile you were just waking up.

The sun was shining through the window, as the sun rays hit your exposed back you shivered.

The warmth coming from outside was really peaceful. You opened your eyes and immediately saw an empty space next to you in the bed. Pedri has already gone to training.

Somehow you managed to grab your phone from the nightstand and saw a message from your boyfriend.

"Good Morning Amor I didn't want to wake you up you were sleeping so peacefully. I'll be back as soon as i can. Te amo"

As your eyes ran across the words you smiled. Yesterday was your two months anniversary so it was a long day and also night.

You had fun, especially when you two went out to eat and then on a walk. Pedri bought you a really expensive ring and you bought him new cleats, not like he didnt had enough.

Of course Pedri got mad at you at first when he saw the expensive cleats standing in the garage but you managed to calm him down and at the end he was pretty happy about it.

You decided to stand up from the bed and be a bit productive. Walking over to his closet you chose one of his springfield shirts and pulled it over your head.

While walking down the stairs you tied your hair together into a ponytail and then went to make some breakfast for yourself.

You decided on some fried egg with bread. May seem boring but it was one of your favorite dishes.

So after you ate you put everything away again and went to watch tv. The time flew by quickly and then soon you heard the door unlock. You smiled as you stood up and waited for Pedri to get inside.

Seconds later you saw Pedri walk inside with a huge smile and a bouquet of red roses in his hand.

"Hey baby." he smiled while he looked at you. You walked over to him and pulled him into a hug straight away.

"Hello" You smiled as you put your head on his chest.

Pedri exhaled deeply as he kissed the top of your head. After you pulled away he handed you the roses he still held in his hand.

"I brought this for you." Pedri smiled widely and then you took the roses from his hand and kissed him passionately.

"Thank you so much, but what for?" You asked, looking at the red rose bouquet in your hand before looking back up at his eyes.

Pedri chuckled as he looked down at you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders as he walked next to you.

"Just to tell you that I love you." He told you and kissed your cheek.

Pedri had planned to bring you roses every day after you two started dating. Sadly that wasn't possible because he was often too tired to go to a store after practice.

He made sure to bring you roses afterwards he went home from every away game.

You were convinced that one of Pedri's love languages was giving you things.

But you didn't mind at all, in the end. You still loved him like he was the only thing on earth.

[kemafili]

dungeon meshi final chapter out, cant wait for ur opinion........

I love this question I have been dying to answer this okay so. First of all, I waited the entire day for the dungeon update to drop, I was clutching my pearls and sweating and actually shedding skin and molting and losing hair just for it to drop. Around 4 or 5 pm I start to get hungry as fuck and I don’t have money so I post the adopts to buy chicken and eventually I can afford the chicken so I order the fried chicken and it arrived at around like 6 pm, I have my fried chicken next to me and I really want to eat it because I hadn’t ate anything else that day other than like the 2 biscuits that came with the order and I had been cleaning the house earlier so I was just making hunger through the entire process. I decide that it’d be magical if I waited for the update to come out and be eating at the same time as I’m reading like a grown ass man watching the superbowl right, and so I wait, and I wait , and I keep waiting and I know in the bottom of my starving feeble little heart that the raws came out late as hell and that EverydayHeroes was working their machinery like crazy to typeset and translate the entire thing so of course it’d come out like late but I still persisted, I didn’t ate my chicken becuase i wanted to keep waiting and hoping the update would come out, 9/10pm rolls around and my boyfriend is back to his home and We hang out for like 3 hours while I’m still persistently waiting on the background for the update to drop, nothing, then I realize my food had like fries on it also so I decide to eat the fries and leave the chicken for the update, then Like at ariund 11:30 pm I’m hungry as hell and I decide okay whatever man I’m eating the chicken already so I eat it and I assume the update will come out tomorrow right okay. Then at like nearly 2 am I say goodnight to my man and I turn the Intelligence Pad off and I’m ready to go to bed but like a swarm of wild pack of roaches approache me in the shape of a discord notification to tell me that the update dropped and that I need to read it ASAP, and so I’m laying on my fucking bed with no food or life or anything to read the update As fast as I could, and after I finish reading it one comically huge tear drop falls down my cheek as I realize that Ryoko made laios so damn hot on those last drawings with the medieval art style like damn she hunker him up to the max I just know he was eating gooooood. But yes no it was a very sweet ending I think the funny part is that it ended in a very predictable way liek all of this was set up since like chaoters 40 or something and we all thought “nahhh that seems to cliche like there’s goign tobe a grand ending to this” but I think the grandness was the friends and Food and cannibalism we made along the way. It was good as hell I love a good happy ending I can’t wait for the anime to drop

[freebooter4ever]

I've been doing my best to stay up to date on the boots brainfog fatigue lore for a while and I have two things to say. First, I am so glad the antibiotics are working and helping you and you're able to somewhat pause your symptoms. And second, your story is so terrifying I had no idea anything like this could happen and I hope the saga ends soon with you going back to a normal livable life.

Apologies for the slow reply, it took me a while to come to grips with my story being used as a 'lore' example. Legit i sometimes forget that i have a lot more followers than just the ones who talk to me on a regular / semi regular basis. So thank you to anyone who is quietly watching this painful illness play out and rooting for me <3 i hope it ends up being a happy ending, though my depression right now is being a witch and telling me it wont. As i type right now my eyes are doing the '300 times more effort to focus' thing because i ate dinner an hr ago, and im slowly getting used to putting this much work into something as simple as writing but...gosh this is all exhausting.

I didnt know this could happen either, but i cherish all the friends and strangers who have gone through this or are going through this who immediately reached out to support me. I've met one guy in person who was a casual friend until now, but who is becoming one of the few people i can randomly text depressing symptoms to and just know he at least semi understands. He also promised to take me on his motorcycle the minute i get back into a physically stable condition so i at least have a carrot on a stick at the moment.

I have also had a lot of really really enlightening conversations with my grandma who has MS, and she's told me stuff about her own illness that I don't think she ever would have divulged to me if this hadn't happened. And I now almost understand why. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to complain about a symptom and then have a friend or loved one immediately counter with 'oh, i have that!' and then go into detail about how they handle it when their symptom is obviously fleeting and passing and much less intense. Also, there's certain people in my life who i just cant get to understand how this illness is connected to food. Every time their response is 'I'm sorry you feel bad, let me make you something to eat' and i have given up trying to explain, lol.

I think it's also important for me to note that although my blog has seen a lot of this drama that i shared...the WORST parts of it i have not posted because i simply dont know how to process or talk about it yet. And also most of the worst moments happened while with my friend G, and when I'm at their house I tend to not need social media so much.

The funniest part in all this - it took a month for me to become so terrified of food because of the intense pain/reactions after eating, that I don't miss food at all despite my diet being severely limited. I miss peanut butter, although my reaction to peanut butter is not so bad that i can't eat it sometimes (but not daily like i used to). Strangely enough, I don't miss bread at all, except I do miss the easy convenient calories bread provided so I could run/dance/exercise. There is only one thing I have been craving this entire month....this fucker from 85c:

I have dreams about this guy. I vividly remember the taste and texture and how it felt to bite into one. The joy of snacking on one in the California sun under the arroyo trees. I long to be able to eat it again ;_; But with how little food I've been able to eat, I can't afford to waste calories on anything that isn't packed with nutrition so :( no taro bun.

[ya-what--ya-erster]

@ivys-head-is-spinning @deim0sdread Have this. …..

…..

JUST TO BE CLEAR THIS IS HALLA WORK IN PROGRESS BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT SORRY THE SPACING IS WEIRD SO IS THE TIME SKIPS DEAL WITH IT <3

…

“Help yourself to some food, and you can show yourself out whenever ya please. I gotta go, Paulie. Ill be home for a while midday, then I gotta go to my other job and I aint gonna be home til late.” “Mhm.” Paul mumbles, pulling his eyes open just a little. He reaches forward and kisses Darry. “Bye.” Darry says, and he leaves for work.

He thinks about Paul all day. He thinks about him until its late and hes walking through the door. He steps into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich, and he finds- The table is stacked with grocery bags. On the fridge, theres a note left.

‘I put the refrigerated stuff away. Dont worry. Also made one of them sandwiches i know ya like. Get good rest.’

Darrys grinning like an absolute idiot as he reads the note, signed by ‘P’ with a little heart next to it. “That asshole.” Is what he says, but really its a weight lifted off his shoulders. Food. Enough for a week or too. That saves a lot of money, money he can use to pay all the other things he has to pay.

“I need some cash.” Paul says to his father. “Whatd you do with what I gave you this mornin?” “Went grocery shoppin.” “Your mother went shoppin.” “Not for us.” “Who, then?” “You remeber Darrel Curtis, yeah? Hes in a bad way. Him and his brother are working two jobs each, and Ponyboys picked up part time so he can still go to school and theyre still barely payin for nothin. I though maybe Id… help em out.” “Spent my money on grease then?” “Sorry, I just thought-“ “Youre a good kid.”

Two days later, Darry has a day off, and hes treking across town to the west side to thank Paul. Hes dressed as nice as possible, and when he knocks on the Holdens door he feels fine. “How can I- Darrel! Oh, its been such a long time! Come inside!” Pauls mom greets him. “Hi, Mrs. Holden.” He says. “Is Paul here?” “He will be in a little while. Why dont you come eat? I just put breakfast on.” “Oh, I couldnt-“ “Of course you can. In fact, Ill send you home with some for your brothers too!” Paul pushes through the front door then. “Hi, mama- Darry. Hi.” Paul smiles. And Darry cant help but look away as his face turns red. “Darrel’s going to join us for breakfast.” Mrs. Holden says brigtly. “You should have just slept in. It would do you some good.” Paul says to Darry. “I’m used to getting up early. I just… thank you, Paul. For the food. You aint got a clue how much it means to me. With all you gave me I might have enough money to do Christmas for Soda and Pony.” “Do you not usually?” Paul asks, a concerned look on his face. “I try to do a good dinner, but we really aint able to afford much else.” Darry admits. “Im glad to have helped.” “I love you.” Darry whispers. Paul looks around nervosly, the returns it with a smile. “Come sit!” Mrs. Holden calls from the kitchen. Darry playfully punches Pauls shoulder. “Cmon bro, your mom is gonna feed me.” Paul laughs. “Okay bro.”

“So Darrel, Paul says you work for a roofin company. Tell me bout it.” Mr. Holden says. “Its good.” Darry replies. “Ive fallen off my fair share of roofs, but lucky Im grease cause most of the houses I fix are one story homes.” “How are your brothers?” “Good. Pony still dont talk too much after what happened. Most days he dont say nothin at all. But hes gettin better. And Soda, too. Hes gettin better.” “Im glad to hear it. That poor boy didnt do a thing to deserve what he got. Losing his best friend.” “Hes real torn up about it.” “It must be hard on you too.” “Its sad. But I aint got time to mourn. I gotta work so we dont lose nothing else.” “Youre too young for how fast youve had to grow up.” “I, uh, I better be headed home maam.” “Let me get you some food!” Mrs. Holden jumps up and begins rummaging through cupboards. Once she finds some tupperware she loads it full of hashbrown and bacon. “Paul, wont you drive him home?” “Course I will, mama.” Paul smiles. He stands up with Darry. Pulls him close by the waist and leans in and- pushes him away as quickly and he can. “Here, Darrel.” Mrs. Holden presses the tupperware container into Darrys hands. “I hope my boy treats you right.” “What?” Darry coughs, nervous. “I saw that honey, it aint just a friendly thing. And i think i always knew. Its okay, boys.” Mrs. Holden takes Paul and Darrys hands. “I wont tell nobody. But if you two are in love, thats what it is and im proud of you because love is a beautiful thing.” “Thanks mama.” Paul’s says, tears filling his eyes. “Of course baby. I love you. Now you two go. Ain’t nothing romantic going to happen in front of your mama. Darrel, you and your brothers and all your friends always have a safe place here. Always.” “Thank you, Mrs. Holden.” “Get out! Go! Have fun, use protection, I love you boys.”

Paul parks the car in Darry’s driveway and the two of them go inside. “Pony, Soda! I have breakfast for y’all. Mrs. Holden made it for ya.” Ponyboy sits down at the table next to Soda within a few minutes. “Heya, Paul.” Two-Bit appears in the kitchen too. “Hi.” Paul says. “We already ate, so you boys help yourselves to this stuff. We’re gonna go. Talk about some stuff.” “Sure you are.” Soda says with a grin.

“I’m gonna kiss you.” “You better.” Paul pulls Darry to him and does indeed kiss him. “I love you so much.” Paul says. Darry pulls away. “I love you too. More than you’ll ever understand. You’ve done so much for me… for my brothers. I love you and so don’t think nothin will ever make me stop. You know there ain’t no way I’ll ever be able to pay you back for what you’ve given me but I’m gonna do my best to pay it back by being the best damn boyfriend you ever did have. I promise.”

[bobatelevision]

i had to put my sweet baby down yesterday...

on thursday morning he was fine, eating and drinking fine. nothing out of the ordinary. thursday night he seems to have trouble breathing, he had discharge around his eyes, and kept making these pained noises I've never heard him make before. he had no appetite and wasnt drinking water. i bought some critical care to try force feeding him but he wasnt accepting it at all and tried to give him a mix of pedialyte + water to get him fluids and he accepted some but not a lot. i thought he maybe had some upper respiratory infection and maybe needed antibiotics, so i started calling some veterinarians in my area.

it was really late at night too so i called around and had such a hard time finding a vet to treat him bc most of the animal hospitals either:

-serviced guinea pigs

-their exotic vet wasnt in that night

-serviced guinea pigs but was closed

i was scared to even go to sleep that night bc his conditioned looked so bad, i didnt think he would even make it to the morning. but he managed to survive the night, so i called around again and was able to find a vet about 40 min away that could take him. we enter the hospital and they immediately take him in and i was in the waiting room. the doc comes out to talk to me to explain what was happening.

he had a stone in his bladder that was blocking his urethra and he couldn't urinate. bladder stones can be very life threatening bc if an animal cant pee, it can develop an infection (sepsis) and even get a heart attack. when she examined him, everytime she palpated his bladder he would be in pain, so they gave him a pain injection. they lead me into a room to explain what his treatment would consist of, and i was fucking shocked.

nearly $5k for his surgery and treatment, i couldn't fucking believe it. the worst part is there really was no plan b on his treatment that wasn't euthanasia. i felt so fucking sick, but i had to think on it more. i thought about maybe calling other animal hospitals but i already had a lot of trouble trying to find anyone to treat him at all, and even if there was a miracle situation where i could afford his treatment, it would not guarantee that he wouldnt fall ill again. on top of the fact that guinea pigs are really fragile creatures and dont have very long life spans. the procedure is incredibly invasive and could put so much stress on his little body. i didnt want him to be in more pain than he really was.

so i made the tough decision on putting him down, because i didn't want him to suffer any longer. i'm so heartbroken bc although i knew we would part ways one day, i didnt imagine it would be so soon. we spent past 3 years together, i adopted him mid pandemic bc being stuck in a different country from the rest of my family is incredibly isolating. i gave him so much love and spoiled him so much. he ate veggies & hay to his hearts content, would start cui-cuing at the sound of a bag being opened, he got to sleep in the largest and comfiest pet beds. he used to sleep on my nap while i gamed or watched shows. he was very skittish with people, except for me bc he knew i would give him the world. i'm feeling so defeated rn. i stayed with him til the very last moment, he was very sedated but soo cuddly in the last hour. the only thing to bring me peace of mind is knowing he was relaxed and in no pain in his final moments.

he doesn't know the amount of people that love him around the world, even as far as Australia. he had an impact on many people. all my irls and my online friends absolutely adored him. even my mom, who is deathly afraid of rodents, thought he was so cute and precious bc of how fluffy he is. his departure left a huge hole in my heart. when i got back home, i bursted into tears looking at his empty enclosure. im so used to him jumping around and getting quirked up when he hears me enter my room. i just cant believe i'll never get to see him, or hold him, or even feed him again.

Rest in Peace, my beloved Taro.

I love you so dearly, you may very little but you had a very huge heart.. and appetite. You will always be missed and I hope you are enjoying large quantities of lettuce in cui cui heaven.

[dogcodedcatboy]

pre relationship: 3, general: 3, 6, love: 10, 13, domestic life: 7 !!

hihihihihihi !!!! i cant wait to start s2 tonight i need to see my kittycat i need to see him !!!!! thank u for always sending asks my aaroman warrior o7 u should rb this ask game 2 so i can pelt u w waystarshipping and jermstone questions

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

absolutely fucking not!!!!!!

by the time any of the roys find out its too late, theyre already very much together. i think the fam knows abt aaron before 04x03 and like, willingly keeps him a secret (have 2 believe none of them would out a family member for personal gain. if not just to avoid the shitstorm for logan). some of them wuld obviously would prefer for roman to a) not be gay or b) at least not be dating a Fucking Weirdo. oh well!

aarons friends are also not. thrilled. for obvious reasons. reactions range from 'ok...u r gold digging, right? does this mean we can afford a hot tub :D' to 'morally/ethically what the Actual fuck is wrong with you bro???'

What was their first kiss like?

hmm the first time they kiss probably an impulsive. half-drunken thing. prolly after their first '''date''' (which roman insists is not a date despite calling him up and inviting him for dinner and drinks). it's rlly messy, roman is kind of an awful kisser at first (out of practice #nobitches) so aaron is kinda like...ok....but it's very endearing somehow.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

i could write a dissertation on. aaron and the roys. i think he's...polite? i mean, he knows roman is super close to them despite how fockin shitty they are to him all the time, so he's willing to grin and bear it. he doesnt like ken for Reasons (annoying on twitter, involvement in 'dog pound', annoying in real life)*, he's rightfully intimidated by shiv, he thinks connor is rlly fuckin funny, he has a weird psychosexual obsession w tom (as stated, would put tom in a saw trap), he thinks greg is cool and would like to talk about his record collection w him.

*authors footnote: i personally like kendall a lot i do love the fucked up brother dynamic between ken and rome BUT aaron is protective and an asshole and doesnt care abt nuance if youre mean to his boyfriend you go to the gulag for 1000 years ! aarons friends are hsi family! he lives w his childhood + college besties! they are all spectacular assholes as well so roman weirdly fits in! roman likes aarons bff because he is also a snarky asshole. one of aaron's college friends actually is from LA, so that's another person he can relate to somewhat. ovi he's a rich asshole tho and like, has to adapt to how normal people live and socialize (aaron and his friends arent even normal theyre like a weirdly codependent found family) but. they all kind come around to him! (will post extended oc universe lore someday on god)

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

i think they both are kinda stupid abt feelings and prefer physical affection, as sometimes its easier to manage than like, pouring your heart out. aaron is big on words of affirmation tho, once they r more comfy in their relationship/roman is more comfortable w receiving stuff like that.

Who remembers the little things?

aaron is def a romantic, he's big on anniversaries, quick to pick up little things like roman's coffee order, his favorite snacks, etc. roman is a little rusty but is surprisingly sensitive when he cares about someone. he's super in to aaron, so he makes sure to note all of aarons favorite movies and albums (so he can bring them up later and Totally sound like he knows what he's talking about).

[also they r a beautiful ocd (aaron) x adhd (roman) couple so in general aaron is Incredibly on top of things (or else he might die, who knows!) while roman is a fockin mess with remembering shit.]

Who kills the bugs in the house?

the real answer is gustav. he eats them. aaron will hold the cat up and he will take care of business.

[fagsex]

im still mad as hell that dave seville put those chipmunks in school like omfl theyre like 3 inches tall you bastard who the hell comes across a talking sentient creature orphan and is like yesss lets give these tiny sensitive souls inferiority complexes and timed math quizzes? ALONGSIDE music careers?? like theyre already child stars but unlike the others they still have to attend school?? youre not going to get them a tutor?? what you cant afford it or something? off merch sales alone i know you can set those three sweet boys up for life.

THEYRE SO SMALL WHY WOULD YOU SUBJECT THEM TO THE AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEM? i was a fucking monster in middle school if simon pissed me off enough and we were like peers do you know what i would have done. i would have ate him. not killed him i would pick him up by his little sweater and begin to attempt to eat him raw and taunt the squirming i have done worse and i know who i was i would not have even tried that swirly shit they tried on him I WOULD HAVE OPENED MY MAW AND MAKE AN ATTEMPT ON HIS TINY LIFE. AND THEYRE FAMOUS TOO? SO LIKE KIDS ARE GOING TO BE WEIRD FOR ATTENTION. not me im just that much of a hater but like theyre going to give theodore an eating disorder within a WEEK. hes the size of my palm he cant have a calorie deficit can you imagine tiny little licorice breath like.

i want to clarify me here as an adult would not try to eat simon. i dont want to eat him. even as a middle schooler peer to him i wouldnt *want* to eat him. i just would get frustrated with things like instruments, papers, friends, and put them in my mouth and bite them. i was fun to be around i had friends but if i was mad i would just eat it. bitches love this character trait. me personally i love all of the chipmunks i think theyre very talented and brave and strong for overcoming their adversities to such a degree, especially at their young age.

THEY ARE SHORTER THAN MY FOREARM WHY WOULD YOU PUT THEM IN AN INSTITUTION INFAMOUS FOR CARELESS PEOPLE GROUPED TOGETHER IN LARGE CROWDS WHERE ITS EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF. THIS IS HOW CHIPMUNKS EXPLODE. WHAT THE FUCK DAVE

i know dave seville is a loving father particularly i would say the 80s version of the program. but some iterations of him just... sometimes i wonder if he took life insurance policies out on them.

[askpsf]

Nathan, (I believe that's how it's spelt?) bud, tell us about your history with Willow. I'm so curious and would love to hear a big rant :3 -🌪

:: 🐈

aaaayup OK WAIT this shit goes so far back hold on

i met the kid when he was like 7 and i was 13 n he was still new to the whole foster care routine. huuuge wuss at first like i found him cryin in a corner bc his last home didnt last n he rlly thought they liked him enough to stay 💀 i was like Man i gotta show this kid whats rlly up bc u cant be going on with expectations like that. cant afford the disappointment cause that shit breaks u down until u got nothing left so i had to teach him that lesson before he found out for himself.

we ended up bein in the same home for a while , like a year or smth, so i got to show him the real ropes and all the shit he had to know to actually make it out there, like pickin locks n shoplifting n lyin to cops u get the idea. hooked him up w belle too cause he rlly needed help w the anxiety. that kid was like a lil brother to me n my crew were chill w him too, n even when we got separated we had a meet up spot on the edge of town so he was rlly putting in the effort to keep up n everything.

i was always plannin on getting my bounty hunters license when i aged outta the system, so i asked him to come w me and the guys so we could take care of him better than any foster parents could, n the jackass fuckin REFUSED. said he had to stay behind for his friend, some other fuckin kid i never met n he never told me abt, an i tried to tell him if hes the one stayin behind then theyd only weigh him down but he wouldnt listen. every fuckin thing i taught him out the window cause the dumbass got attached. an now im eating my words cause i realised i did the same fuckin thing w him. so i fucked off n left him behind like i shoulda done from the start

then like, four fuckin years later i hear from belle that him n his ‘friend’ got into the field an i tell her to tell him hes a fuckin dead man. first he turns me down, then he makes himself a threat to MY FUCKIN TERRITORY with his lil attack dog like i didnt teach him every fuckin thing he knows? like i wasnt fuckin good enough?? im tellin u next time i see his sorry face its gonna be on sight

[dirtangeldean]

hi ren! i was wondering why you don't want your donation post tagged? tagging crowdfunding etc posts helps me find them again on my blog easily to rereblog in case they haven't hit their goal yet but i don't wanna make you uncomfortable

cw: weight talk/health issues

anon hiiii, i’m really glad you asked this and finally have capacity to write out fully why! so thank you 🤗

among the millions of users on this app, some things have gotten super cemented as The Way™ but that means staff knows it too.

while the 4 tags: “s***nal b***t”, c**wdf*nd”, “d**nation”, and “mu**al a*d” may seem helpful for sorting and awareness at face value, we as users have been using and overusing them for years. it’s like a sick joke to chronically poor “ebeggers” as we have been named by old reddit.

bottom line is staff hates poor people; even before they decided to take away tipping soon, they flagged posts and sh**ow ba**ed accounts, deleted users (usual poor and black/indigenous/of color) while letting gen pop think they were doing a good job. my main account has over 3k followers and i cant get any post i make over 3 notes anymore despite being a semi popular radical blog.

my messaging was taken away. i could hit post limit and still have activity of max 20 notes a day. the post itself could be randomly deleted or even hard to search all of a sudden even with a tag. it’s awful to be isolated on the internet when you’re poor. :/ call me paranoid but i barely touch my main account now.

anyway, my fandom blog doesn’t deserve a forced lack of community and i love you guys too much to not be able to see/be seen or talk to my friends. ive already been told by staff that this blog was flagged as spam once and they took away my messages, right after my last sciatic spasm. it took Weeks to get messages back.

it was awful, i was living in the dark and only eating egg cheese sandwiches or sugar rice and water bc i couldnt afford anything else. i’m not going back to that. i’ve gained weight that is making my bones hurt bc of my poverty food choices and forced sedentary lifestyle while healing my back. and i’m only just now getting back going walking and being employed sporadically. it’s super hard to not have help and not have a job bc of disability discrimination AND have deconditioned muscles. poor nutrition is horrible for muscle. it’s even harder to stomach getting 3 thousand notes on something and $17 while i owe Thousands the way it works on my main account.

if i can do anything to advocate for myself, it’s to ask this: dont use old, overused tags. get creative with tags so more people see and wont restrict me. tag comerades/mutuals in the post. tag the post with a random well wish like “good luck” or something. literally anything but the most common 4 tags. the same way people get creative with the name for their queues!

i made a post about other/different tags that can be used but it doesnt have a ton of notes, i tried looking for and i cant find it which shows 1. the tumblr tagging system still sucks 2. it will never get a ton of notes. many of the posts in the tags mention in the beginning of this post barely reach 100 notes. mathematically a post could need like 9,000 notes to be fully funded depending on the amount. there’s a post in there with 22 notes, unless that person makes a new post everyday (i know a person who does that), it’s a wasted effort and some days i barely have spoons to get up and relieve myself tbh :/

anyway, especially with things that took years to happen or months to fix, it’d just be nice if post got notes into 1k-10k territory to be effective.

i hope some or any of this answers your question, let me know if you have more! have a great day!

[toomuchracket]

i dont know if it sent or not so im sending it again. i met him like 2 years ago online we talked literally all day everyday for a majority of it. everything was going great he knew everything about me i knew everything about him. we used to group listen to music on spotify and build the same lego sets together as “dates” from thousands of miles away i showed him waterparks (big mistake) he was calling me love and his perfect girl but said he didnt want a long distance girlfriend(????) yet he was still flirting with me nonstop. telling me he loved me all while trying to sext with me (i was always eating when he would lol) he slowly started calling me lad instead of love and said we were just “good friends” a few days before thanksgiving last year i had told him i was having a panic attack and he blocked me. out of nowhere. he up and blocked me. i didnt really know what to think at the time but i wouldnt let myself cry and because he was so far away we were friends on discord and in a server with some mutual friends and he ended up reaching out to me on there a few months ago asking me if i regret it, how i was doing etc. and he asked me to fly out to cardiff from florida. i told him i couldnt afford it said he would pay for my flight and tickets to see parx (should of done it) all he wanted was one thing in return. (bet you cant guess what) so i blocked him and let myself be upset this time and it wasnt even like. i was upset about the situation but he fucked up a majority of waterparks songs for me.

noooooooooo i'm so sorry, babe. i know you liked him at some point, but i think you made the right decisions by not flying to see him and also by blocking him again. and it's truly horrible that he ruined the band for you, but try to remember that despite that being a common point of interest, you had it first - lorde once said something about her own album like "he'll never hear these songs the way you do. cherish the world you built with them". idk if you'll take any comfort from that, but yeah. you're too good for him! sending love <3

[figula]

evening

today wasn't as annoying as yesterday, i am mostly over the tax thing. managed to knock like 12% off the total by going through all my groceries purchases (all my business expenses are really spread out, it's annoying) but ill have to pay like £450 which. bleh i guess is fine bc i actually have the money to do so it's churlish of me to complain about a bill i can pay, when there are people who cant afford to eat healthy meals or heat their homes! let alone pay an unexpected bill w/o problems

i got a few commissions today + made a few ready-to-ship wigs that i'll put on instagram tmr so that's good too

had a chat w/ my high school best friend liz - she had the most incred gossip that none of you will care about but i'm going to share anyway! she's dating TOM LASTNAME! this is actually crazy news im so excited. they always kind of liked each other (they met when htey were 16, in sixth form) and now they're both 30 they're actually properly giving it a go bc they're not dating anyone else + the timing is right and she was like "there's so much feelings and history but it seems so SIMPLE" and i was just like omfg that's so romantic. passed this onto ben (who does not know either of the people involved - well he's met liz once or twice - but made appropriate responses when needed) and was like "that's so romantic, that's so much better than our story [met on tumblr on the citalopram tag]" and ben was gravely like "it's never romantic to date anyone from your hometown" lmfao but i do think it's so lovely they're together FINALLY + i really hope it works out for them. i told her to bring him to the wedding as her +1 bc i really want to see them together <3

[temporarymoods]

worst week of the year

hey blog

theres so much i want to tell you and would rather be feeling right now e.g. my truth about being nonbinary and graduating and moving and finishing college and new music and new inspirations and volunteering and all those thoughts about the world and cooking-- but right now i just feel like shiiiiiit.

nothing profound, barely edited stream of consciousness, about:

insecurity

it's so hitting sometimes. and i try to come up with why and i figure a couple things: stress. not sleeping great. hormones (follicular phase). the weather (gloomy). anxiety (but that's the same thing as insecurity). not eating great. negative reinforcement. negative reinforcement. negative reinforcement. reading into things. losing the male gaze. needing so badly different clothes.

it's the worst when it manifests socially like this. like the most negative voice in your head narrating-- why? i know it's just as easy to switch to another. so why do i have these tendencies to slip into the worst of it? just wired that way? why do the low moods have such a moving character? maybe its not that big of a deal. but for days i have felt awful. and i cant even communicate that properly to the people that love me because its too much- its really just too much to launch into. and so i need a long chat before i can move any of this weight off me. so im here. <3

i know i dont suck. but sometimes i guess i do. or i could. so i worry about being lost-- about other people losing me, in a concerned-for-myself way. and i think about how utterly pointless this post is because girl, you're not saying anything that hasn't already been sai across the world.

that's nice. this shit isn't unique. but whe no one talks about it it kinda feels like everything is fine for everybody. and when i'm doing fine i see that that's true in a sense. everyone's lives are so cool even when theyre bad. no need to compare because we're really on the same page. just need to remember that. the equalness. the sameness of the value of all of our lives, of my life in particular. it is not less it is not less. dear reader i can only say in plain words and ask you to believe me that the "but"s come up so strong there. "it is not less" does not sit without protest, and riot again. i don't want to lie, so opens up the possibility that "it is not less" is not true... you may see how the facilitation of this dialogue weighs on me.

judging myself for all that i don't do. so much love so little do, i think. but then i dont have time. because im a student. and that kills me. been slowly killing me for years. once i decided i wouldnt die the killing only got slower, subtler. what a drain on the spirit. you ask anyone, hopefully, they will tell you, college has not been for me. but in college i have found pieces of life that could be, that would be. i feel closest to them now. but what if ive been lying? what if my lines i repeat against this fucking institution have just been An Excuse? for not living... that's terrifying. that i'm a phony. that im really just a loser !! we'll see i guess. what a pressure. what a chance.

feeling so limited in so many ways . in the gender fashion way (and with those two words im done speaking on this). in the free time way, of course. my friends inspire me when they do things that are simply joyful. smart. so smart. can't afford to give myself those pleasures right now. i want to soon. i so, so want to. and i hope that when this all goes away i wasn't lying and i can. the kind of thing that you cant test or experiment on without replicating exact conditions, so the kind of thing you can't really ever know until you're there: if life gets better.

i think there are things about me that i need to fix. first: stop using i/me/mine. unpack that. i dont think its actually like that. like probably shut the fuck up and stop THINKING!! about yourself. but also---- this is important---- think about yourself more and do a much better job upon reflection, please. tweak. and edit. and abolish. yesss, yes. then you'll get it.

at least i am so far from my potential. like, that's a good thing. there are so many things i can do. thats empowering an i think about that a lot because its part of my self therapy prompt. i think ive talked about it on here before but in case i didnt/as a refresher, when i journal for efficacy it usually starts with "i'm feeling [fill in blank.] i can do something about this!" literally. like i make myself write that sentence every time. kind of geen, would recommend. works. having agency rules. having a tendency to forget i have agency sucks. something to work on something to build.

and of course ive come a long way. for the worst week of my 2024 its not that bad of a week, like woah. really puts it into perspective. things could suck so much badder. thank Fucking god. im really fine. its really fine. phew. the future is chilling, honest, if only because i have so much knowledge er wisdom about how to be happy. and cuz of logistics. we good. i love my people and they love me and like its fiiiine and im cool. the present aint bad i just need to do my homework, that's all, really. i just need to do it and now that i've typed all of this out i feel a bit better like i can. in pavement. rn. bagel sandwich on mom. gift card from christmas/my bday, cool. iced vanilla latte matching the classic vibe. i am but a collection of past selves, my life built upon other versions, wearing these fuckass old clothes in a new body is kind of the human condition. changing and having to catch up to it. we're in that gap of time where things havent updated or refreshed. the part in second puberty where its not actually done yet. theres actually more to come and youre in that transitional phase. thats what this is. another one of those. things just arent figured out or settled or that comfortable because im too busy to make them better or good and thats just what it is right now and thats fine because there is definitely an end to this. 2 weeks, whatever. i can make it two weeks at not-my-best. which is wild to say because i was literally feeling my best like a week ago, so, what? that's what this fucking blog is all about. kateworld changes so fast. its all temporary.

catch you on the upswing

Kate

<3

[axesilly]

i cant afford therapy so im going to talk about my troubles on here because i dont know what else to do 👍 i dont know if this will reach anyone but it might make me feel better. sorry if its a bit lengthy, ive had these feelings for a while

for the sake of anonymity and my own safety i will not be mentioning any names of people, towns, or schools :]

so im in college, im an art major. im from a small town with nothing to do except go to a mall the next town over and im going to college in another small town 5 hours away from home. this small town also has jack shit to do unless you drive 45 minute to an hour away. im currently in my spring semester of my freshman year and i have gotten so absolutely mentally and physically drained since i got a fast food job. i got a job making pizzas at yknow one of those big chain corporations pizza places, and the store i work at has only been open a few months. its absolutely chaotic and no one knows how to do anything except a few select people. my boss, the general manager, also doesnt know how to do anything because its his first time doing something like this. one of the other managers also only works there because hes friends with the general manager and he is not the greatest person, as he tends to sexually harrass the staff including a friend i made there. now ive already put in my two weeks last saturday, but that doesnt take away from how drained this job has made me.

Since the spring semester started ive been constantly piled with work (one week i was scheduled 6 days in a row when i had a big project to work on, i had a breakdown at work to my general manager), writing assignments, and project after project. (not even kidding my drawing professor gives us a new project the same day we turn one in) in my senior year of high school i loved fine arts and i believed that i wanted to follow in my art teachers footsteps and pursue my love of art and make art for my career. and while i do still love fine arts and making art, i just cannot do this constantly. since just before my spring break i started not going to my classes as consistently and i swore to myself i would start going again after the break. well that break just made it worse it seems because everything has just gone more and more downhill. i have still been missing classes because some days its difficult to get out of bed and i do not have the motivation to go to class just to sit there and not be able to pay attention for an hour/hour and a half. im behind on a project for one of my classes because i havent gone since ive been back from spring break (two weeks). i have an exam for one of my classes soon and im not even close to prepared. i had a 3 page essay due last night i started but havent finished (luckily i can turn it in a little late). it may sound lazy but these are my real struggles with my mental health. i feel trapped here. i do have a license and a car, i do have transportation so i can go places, but its such an old car it has so many problems (one which has arisen recently being if i stop somewhere and turn my car off, it wont crank back up immediately and i have to wait 10-15 minutes, and once it is on i have to revv it to make sure it stays on). so because of car problems and currently living in a small town im frustrated because it feels like i cant go anywhere to do anything fun. i feel trapped in my dorm and in my mind.

now comes the college problem. the college i go to currently is a nice school, i get 8 meals a week on my meal plan included in my tuition. theres several places to choose from the eat at, theres a gym, free health exams i think. but its driving me insane seeing the same old brick buildings every damn day. i currently dont have a roommate so im in a dorm by myself which probably contributes to this feeling of lonliness. i dont really have many friends, i had more last semester but they did not keep in touch. i do have one friend that i appreciate very much and she always worries and wants to help when she sees im upset. shes a real one. but seeing the same things, learning about the same repetitive lessons every single day, has driven me insane. my art history class has been the same topics since the start of the semester, its all been about works of art pertaining to jesus, and mary, and god and the angel telling mary shes pregnant and marys purity and this symbolizing that and i understand why its important to learn about these works of art and how they have shaped art today, but i cannot stand hearing the same things over and over. im not a christian, and i dont believe theres anything wrong with christianity as long as youre not hurting anyone with your beliefs, but these topics are so repetitive ever class i have. the semesters almost over and we havent even gotten to modern art yet, and in my opinion thats what truly matters to learn about because thats what we as artists would need to look at to have a reference for how we should make our art right? art is about expressing yourself and we need to see how others making art in the modern era are expressing themselves as well. and on the topic of expressing ourselves, my drawing class, every single project, my professor has us stick to such strict criteria. one of my projects my professor actually really liked, i liked, but she took points off because i had my girlfriends name written very small where you could barely even see, because we were not supposed to have any text. i feel like i cannot even be creative and truly express myself with these projects. i dont feel like i have any real freedom with them. i love fine arts and i love making art, but not when its like this. i want to be able to make my own art that actually expresses my feelings, not someone elses criteria. because of all of this my grades have been rapidly dropping.

now i have already made the decision weeks ago that i will not be returning to this school in the next fall semester. i discussed this with my mom already as she does the majority of my paperwork and things for this stuff. she wants me to transfer to a college closer to home so i can atleast get a general studies degree. but thats not what i want to do either. she told me not to flunk my classes this semester because that will make it difficult to transfer me to another school, but how do you expect me to get good grades when i constantly feel like im in hell in my mind. i mentioned wanting to maybe take a gap year, she doesnt want me to do that. school is horrible for my mental health like this, i dont understand why society thinks we should just have everything we want to do with the rest of our life figured out immediately out of high school. well i dont. and i dont want to stay in college immediately out of high school. i want to go live my life! me and my girlfriend are long distance (we have met in person several times and shes actually coming to visit me this month, but just seeing each other for a week at a time is not enough) and i really want to go live with her! i want to enjoy living and living with the person i love more than life itself! i currently dont feel like i can do that here or back home. i want to move somewhere else with my girlfriend so we can both be happy and love life. i want to move out of state to a slightly bigger city, nothing crazy like new york or atlanta, but just somewhere bigger than a small town with nothing to do whatsoever. i do have a place in mind but im not going to say where. and when i move, after a year i can qualify for in state tuition and pursue something that makes me happier. ive always loved animals and marine animals so i was thinking i could major in zoology and marine biology and work at an aquarium or something while im working on my degree. and i dont fully know how the paperwork and things work for transferring and such, especially after a break, so i could be in the wrong, but is it really wrong for wanting the best for myself?

and to be honest with myself i know exactly why im in college and its not to get a degree. i was raised constantly being compared to my siblings. my brother is trans (which my parents are very obviously not too fond of) dropped out of college and joined the military. my sister dropped out of college after a semester, got married to a horrible man who she just recently divorced after having two children with him. and being compared to them all my life, especially to my brother, made me want to be better than them. i wanted to be the one, as the youngest, to be the first one to get through college immediately, all four years, no problem. but its just too much for me. and dropping out, moving away, im terrified. im terrified that my parents will be disappointed in me. im terrified of that face my mother makes, that tone of voice, when shes disappointed in me for something. im terrified of getting lectured and told why everything i want is wrong. its irrational. and im terified if i move away i wont have her support anymore. i wont have her to lean on when i need help with something. i was never taught where to go or how to do stuff for applying to colleges and transferring. i barely know how to do my taxes.

now i really dont know what this article-like rant of a tumblr post is gonna do. i know i dont really have a following and i dont really post on here. but i just thought itd make me feel better to collect my thoughts and put them all together like this. so far the only people concerned about me have been my girlfriend and a couple of my friends ive told about these problems. not even my professors are concerned about me, i havent even gotten a single email or question about how im doing. they say theyre all for mental health but when a student stops coming to class as often suddenly and starts failing or not turning in assignments its none of their business and i must just be getting lazy and im a horrible student yknow? anyways i think thats about it for this. again i dont really know what this will do but i hope someone has advice or support or something. im going insane here.

love to anyone else suffering similar struggles <3

[selamat-linting]

i've been playing the sims again, this time doing a mini challenge i made for myself.

my sim, misery, she lives up to her name. she's in her room, paranoid and gloomy with nothing but 150 simoleons and a completely empty apartment to her name. she must somehow gain enough money to pay rent and keep herself alive.

on the first day, i made her take increasingly deranged photos of her and her dark and desolate room for a bit of change enough for a pizza and a shitty bed and a debug toilet. my arms was tired by the end of it just from taking pictures. she was so poor she cant afford a stove. she had to force herself to eat spoiled pizza. she spend a day and a half completely filthy until we could scrounge up enough pennies for a shower. And then i began to look for jobs that might fit her disposition. at first she got a job as a critic, that is to be a hater online. but she soon quits after her second day when i found out she has to review street performances and have a computer. there are zero jobs that allow her to stay inside without visiting any venue or talking to people.

we did have enough cash collected for an easel, and some of the dust bunnies gave her random fruits to eat. the next few days, misery did non-stop painting, enough for a fridge to keep her food from spoiling and a computer set. i then made her apply for a job as a painter, but turns out you have to leave the house for that so i made her ran away from her office in the middle of the workday and was immediately fired.

she's now painting her way to freedom. the money we saved is enough to pay the rent, but our situation is still very precarious. an emergency like a fine or a fire or a is still disastrous despite us frantically working every day. misery also gets burnout. to combat the burnout, i made her read books and spend time on the computer to play video games. she likes it, but i do notice her propensity to autonomously change passwords and troll people in forums. she's slowly gaining fame and notoriety as that hikikomori painter who did photography projects of her creepy apartment that she cant leave. so, she have been getting offers to make endorsement vids and ragebait to promote products off her socials. she cant make it though, because we cant afford the video mixing station. one time several people broke into her place. i make her fight them all before telling them to go away. her reputation is in the red.

so thats my girl, misery. she's internet famous but hated by her neighbors and randos, she's burned out but she's one financial emergency away from eviction so she has to work no matter what, she doesn't want to go outside, and she sells pics of herself that are undervalued and underappreciated just so she could afford to eat. her eyebags got eyebags. she's a brilliant artist, but she can never keep any decoration in her house because she cant afford art despite producing three paintings every single day. they are tempting her to become an angry influencer and a lolcow just so she can have enough money to survive. her room is filthy and she fucking stinks. all she do is make art for other people, spend time on the computer, and sleep. she has level 3 mischief purely from autonomous trolling. misery grew so jaded one of her traits got replaced with the mean trait. And she's my favorite. I swear girl, by the end of the year i will make you a comfortable, fancy home and a group of friends who accepts you for who you are. you will end this life happy and in love with the sun and the outside world!!!!!