#i love my baby boy he should be allowed to do mind manipulation crimes for everyone's own good

[quietwingsinthesky]

@lucifersimp prompted: "prompt: killing Destiel with your mind"

i let jack stand in for the purposes of killing BUT. had fun figuring out what way to go about it >:3

----

Jack can’t let Castiel be happy, can’t let him be taken away, can’t have it all be his fault again.

And it’s so easy (so easy that Jack hesitates because no kindness, for him, has ever been so easy to earn, so is he wrong…) when he draws so much attention to the source, grace radiating like the sun in Dean’s presence. Jack will save him—pull the dangerous emotions up at the root and burn them up with his own powers and leave Castiel completely unaware of what’s been taken or the happiness he never has to be cursed with.

[3 sentence birthday ficathon]

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Alma Mater (S2, E3)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading. 

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:20 - There’s no way Martin is actually going to escape Claremont until AT LEAST the season finale.

0:55 - Anyone else annoyed that Ainsley isn’t in Martin’s fantasy? I mean - it’s completely in character but it still pisses me off. 

1:49 - I’m sorry - what? How will pouring Malcolm a drink help this fictional situation?

2:00 - Malcolm ruining Martin’s fantasy dream is honestly such a mood. 

2:10 - “That little kill joy.” haha 

2:21 - Malcolm has a stationary bike. Of course he does. But why does he listen to the personal trainer lady (who I assume was a recording programmed on the bike)? Malcolm doesn’t seem like he needs praise or motivation to exercise. He probably does it the way I do - mindlessly as a habit. A habit built from the knowledge that if I skip a morning workout I will feel more unsettled and anxious than usual before lunch....and don’t even get me started on how quickly my depressive thoughts escalate. 

2:24 - ....I’m still convinced/hoping that this is a false memory Martin has planted in Malcolm. I’m all for Malcolm whump and Malcolm trauma...but the thought of Gil, the team, and Jessica finding out that Malcolm committed a crime terrifies me. I don’t want him to go to jail. I don’t want Gil and the team to turn their back on him. I don’t want Jessica to blame herself (more than usual).

2:39 - I love that the “Malcolm pretty much only feeds himself liquorice and lollipops” is still canon this season.

2:42 - OMG. That is not a helpful affirmation. Like maybe for anyone? If you’re traumatized/depressed/anxious “consider the past and you shall know the future” is not comforting or inspiring. It’s the opposite.

2:48 - I’m loving how confidently Malcolm has been shutting down Martin’s manipulation. #soproud

2:52 - Anyone else super upset that Martin is the person with whom Malcolm discusses his mental health the most honestly? 

3:12 - Check out the way Mr. David looks at Martin here. Does Mr. David already know about Endicott? Or is he just like, “Bitch, spit it out so I don’t have to keep guessing your current family drama.”?

3:17 - “Let’s have another session today.” .....Does Martin really think he’s Malcolm’s new therapist? DOES MALCOLM THINK THAT? IS THAT WHY HE ISN’T SEEING GABRIELLE? HAS MARTIN MANIPULATED HIM INTO THINKING THAT HE DOESN’T NEED GABRIELLE?!?

3:22 - hahahaha OMG. Mr.David is so done with Martin’s theatrics.

3:32 - Ok so two things:

Martin’s insight on Malcolm’s mental health/coping mechanisms is disturbingly on point. Almost like he’s an attentive, caring, father (which he isn’t). 

How long was Gil outside Malcolm’s door before he knocked? Do you think he overheard Malcolm’s side of the conversation? I kind of hope he did. But only if it means I get to see Gil asking Malcolm about it.

3:50 - “Put me on speaker.” I’m torn. Part of me is so proud of Malcolm for denying Martin’s need for attention....but part of me is living for a Martin/Gil showdown where they fight over Malcolm in front of Malcolm.

3:54 - Ok. So Gil was a jerk last episode but I forgive him. Gil just showed up at Malcolm’s apartment to tell him about a case instead of calling Malcolm. Gil knew Malcolm would be upset. Gil knew that Malcolm needed to hear this in person. <3 My heart is full. <3 

4:12 - Concerned!Gil is everything. Look at how much he cares about Malcolm and what this case will inevitably bring up for Malcolm. You can almost see how badly Gil doesn’t want Malcolm on this case. 

4:13 - “What if I said I need you?” Damn. Gil knows. He knows that Malcolm desperately doesn’t want to ever disappoint Gil. Gil is Malcolm’s hero and, when Malcolm is thinking straight, he’d do anything for Gil. 

4:17 - <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Gil looks so sad when he notices Malcolm’s hand shaking. Can a heart simultaneously break and heal? 

4:23 - Oh yeah. Gil definitely wanted Brumback dead for what he did to Malcolm. He doesn’t even try giving Malcolm the “you’re being insensitive” look. 

4:42 - Wow. That school is nicer than my university. 

4:47 - Do you think Gil’s been to the school before? To visit and/or pick up Malcolm? ....I really want to believe he did. Gil looks like he’s leading Malcolm through campus. Gil looks like he’s familiar with the campus. Surely that means he visited Malcolm there. Right?

5:17 - So...was the “office under water” thing officially a prank? It’s brutal. Forget the murder, Brumback would’ve expelled kids for that prank. 

5:27 - I love how Dani looks at Gil for clarification here. She’s like, “Malcolm is upset, ranting, and making no sense. I’m not going to set him off further by asking more questions. But I need to know what the hell he’s going on about.”

5:40 - Soooo is JT texting Dani? Or is Tally? I really hope it’s Tally. I hope Dani’s texts are all reading something along the lines of “He won’t stop pacing and panicking. If he doesn’t calm down I’m going to slap him.”

5:43 - I love the look of disbelief that Gil shoots Dani when her phone goes off. haha

5:52 - hahaha Gil so heard Edrisa the first time. He was just giving her a chance to conform to professional social standards. 

6:03 - hahahaha OMG. Edrisa is a treasure.

6:56 - awww Malcolm, baby. :( This boy has so much trauma. I love it. 

7:07 - I’m assuming Malcolm’s ‘high school’ was grades 10-12 (not 8-12 which is common in the area of Canada where I grew up) so that means Tom Payne is currently being passed off as a 15-16 year old. It kinda works. But ngl - I spent most of this scene thinking “could they not hire a kid because of COVID?” 

7:12 - I’m not actually mad that Tom Payne was allowed to play high school Malcolm though. His performance in this scene is really moving. “Be someone new.” :( <3

7:45 - Sooooo Malcolm changed his name before he was legally an adult. If it’s his legal last name (we see “Bright” on pill bottles in S1 so it’s his legal name now at least) Jessica had to have signed the paperwork. Damn. I wish I was there to see that process regardless of when it became his legal last name.

7:49 - Baby Malcolm looks so comforted by Martin’s acceptance of his new name and new school. It breaks my heart. 

8:00 - Wait. There was a teacher who liked Malcolm at this school? The son a serial killer? AND the teacher recognizes Malcolm 15 years later?!? Nah. I don’t buy it. I love Malcolm but I feel like the teachers would’ve avoided developing any sort of relationship with Malcolm even if they didn’t have a problem with him. 

8:05 - Hold up. This school is so fancy. Are you telling me they don’t have outdoor security cameras? Surely those would’ve told you who the suspects for the desk thing were at least. 

8:15 - awwww poor Malcolm looks shattered here. :( 

8:31 - “Easy. Let’s keep an open mind.”  That is pure Dad!Gil energy and I’m here for it. 

8:39 - Of course. Of course Jessica is involved in the rich school. 

8:51 - I’m on Gil and Malcolm’s side here. Jessica is putting her reputation over Malcolm’s mental health. Shame on her. No no. I will not stand for this - and neither will Gil. Damn. Look at how pissed he is on Malcolm’s behalf. <3 So sweet. 

9:06 - “Pop-pop’s aquatic center”!?!? Soooo is Pop-pop Jessica’s grandfather or Malcolm’s? Either way give me more information about the extended family. Are they dead? Did they disown them after the Surgeon business? I WANT ANSWERS FEDAK. 

9:15 - I swear. Malcolm is the best son/brother ever. The sacrifices he makes for his Mom/sister are unreal. Also - how much do you want to bet that Malcolm was thinking about the Endicott murder coming out when Jessica said, “how soon until they connect that back to me?”. Malcolm looks so sad here. 

9:23 - Nah. I don’t like Delaney. Even on the first watch I was put off by him. Something about him just creeps me out. He’s showing a weird amount of affection for Malcolm 15 years after Malcolm finished school. IDK maybe I was just upset that someone was trying to mimic Gil’s relationship with Malcolm? 

9:27 - oooooooohhhhh Mom and Dad are fighting. hahaha Malcolm looks so uncomfortable. Gil looks livid. Is Gil pissed because Jessica dumped him or because she totally just neglected Malcolm’s well-being for her own? Probably both. Either way, it’s endlessly entertaining. 

9:53 - I’m on Gil’s side here. She dumped him (like a f**ing moron) because she “doesn’t want to hurt him” and because she’s “broken” and “cursed”. Yet - she manipulates her way into cases. Making her business Gil’s. Gil should be pissed - she broke his heart. Again. Like he’s literally been choosing to hang out with Malcolm, Jessica’s (let’s face it) broken son, for more than 20 years. Jessica’s crazy if she thinks that she’s going to get Gil killed or hurt just because she’s a Whitly. Malcolm’s technically a Whitly - Gil hasn’t died yet. 

10:15 - “Not usually.” Dang. That was icy.

10:50 - Yo this is one messed up bible study. Take it from someone who has attended many young adult/teenage bible studies. This is crazy. Usually it’s: read the bible for 5-10 minutes as a group, discuss how you interpreted it for 15-20 mins, pray as a group for 5 mins, then like an hour of tea/coffee, cookies, board games, and general chatting about normal stuff like romance, school, and personal drama. 

11:44 - “Poor Tally.” hahaha I’m willing to bet that Tally is texting Dani - not JT. I just can’t imagine a panicking, first-time father, texting his little sister with accurate medical details about his wife’s pre-labour experience. He’s probably way too panicked to remember the medical jargon that is “foley ballon”.

12:00 - I’ve watched this scene about 30 times. I’m in love with it. Tom Payne’s performance is haunting and I’m a sucker for emotional whump. I love how Dani is concerned about Malcolm but respectful enough to pry until he shuts down. I love Malcolm’s little speech about the hand tremor (even though it doesn’t make sense because baby Malcolm’s hand was shaking when Shannon interrogated him - but that’s a whole different can of worms I’m not going to rant about).

 12:39 - Does anyone else think it’s weird that there’s a bolt on the closet door? Why isn’t there a lock in the door handle like every other interior school door? I mean, I guess it’s because they can be unlocked from the inside and Nicky would’ve needed a key....but still. The things I forgive for the sake of plot. 

13:25 - Damn. Brumback was a real jerk. “I know what you really are.” Do you know how painful that would be for Malcolm to hear? Regardless of what he almost did to Nicky? Everywhere Malcolm goes people accuse him of being just like his father. Is it surprising that in a moment of weakness, with teenage hormones, Malcolm snapped and said, “Eff it. They think I’m a murderer anyways.”

13:26 - OMG. How bad were the kids at this school?!?! Brumback expelled so many kids. Holy hell. Also - Brumback is wearing a wedding ring. Did he get divorced before he died? Did his wife pass away before him? Why was his family not part of this investigation at all?

13:31 - Brumback writing “Malcolm Whitly” instead of Malcolm Bright is....ouch. I just. My heart breaks for Malcolm.

13:37 - OMG. Traumatized people going through PTSD flashbacks should not be unattended next to a pool of water. Honestly - I thought our boy was going to drown. Which the whumper in me would’ve loved but also I don’t think it was right for the plot on this one. 

14:38 - Martin is such a liar. He definitely thinks he’s God’s gift to the Earth. 

15:02 - Martin knows a lot about the security zones. Something tells me this isn’t the first time he’s contemplated escaping. 

15:04 - Oh shit. Daryl has an imaginary cell mate. I know that’s a serious mental illness and I shouldn’t laugh but OMG. The moment Martin realizes that Daryl is delusional is priceless. hahahaha

15:25 - How much to do want to bet Mr. David has a red key card? Martin’s grin confirms it. 

15:40 - Wow. The classrooms in this high school are really big. I would’ve thought this fancy private school would have smaller class sizes.

15:49 - YES. OMG. Malcolm walking into that classroom soaking wet is golden. *chef’s kiss* Look at Gil’s face - it’s a mixture of concern and disbelief. He’s soooo worried about Malcolm right now. <3 

16:07 - It’s a good thing Malcolm’s rich because that phone is never going to be useful again. 

16:20 - ahhahahaha OMG. WTF. Gil’s little twinkle-finger wave is hilarious. 

16:38 - This whole scene Gil is just staring at Malcolm with so much concern. It warms my cold, dead heart. <3

16:46 - Do you think Malcolm looked for his name in the book? Is it the same book? Do you think Brumback expelled enough kids that this is a new black book?

17:08 - Ok. So I immediately don’t like Louisa. That level of confidence and self-absorption is very unattractive. 

17:25 - Louisa volunteers in the library. That’s how she got access to the poison. 

17:35 - “Dude. You’re dripping.” “Yeah. Water does that.” Can Malcolm be this sassy every episode?!? I’m living for it. 

17:57 - “Boys right? Oof” haha I love Malcolm talking to teenagers. I want it in every episode. ALSO - the jock’s story about the two girls - I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how that an expulsion level offence unless the kid is leaving something out of the story. 

18:31 - Of course they talked about this before they came there. DELANEY WARNED THEM. But mostly to keep his little cheating ring hush hush. 

18:55 - And just like that we’ve been blessed with Malcolm in casual clothes. Wish I could’ve seen Gil question Malcolm’s swim though. 

19:26 - OMG. Edrisa is such a cute little nerd. <3 Protect her at all costs. 

20:00 - Gil and Jessica arguing is amazing. I’m loving it and hating it. Because I want them to live happily ever after in a fairytale world but I do enjoy the drama. 

20:06 - hahaha look at how Jessica just pushes Gil to the side and plows on to Malcolm. This woman is fierce.

20:11 - Yes. Yes Malcolm. Tell Mom she has unrealistic and insensitive expectations of you.

 20:18 - What kind of school is this?!? The board of trustee members are buddy buddy with the students?!? 

20:22 - “They’re all from impeccable families.” “So was I” Mic drop. Watch Malcolm drop the truth bombs. This is maybe the best line in this episode. 

20:30 - “And just like you - none of them is capable of murder.” .....well this sentence is going to come back and bite Jessica in the butt later this season. 

20:44 - The fact that these kids think Edrisa is a freshman is actually hilarious to me. 

20:50 - OMG. “Welcome to boarding school. Bitch.” I was ready for Louisa to die right here. She just punched Edrisa and then called her a bitch. No no no. Edrisa is a quirky treasure and we must protect her. 

21:00 - Damn. I wish we got to see the team’s reaction when they found out one of their teenage suspects assaulted their favourite M.E.

21:10 - Why is it soooo attractive when Malcolm wears casual shirts under a suit jacket? 

21:53 - “My vote is for Louisa. The girl’s got a heavy fist.” hahaha I love Edrisa. SO SO much. 

22:05 - Soooo is Jessica some sort of consultant now? They used her to interview cult extractors and now rich, teenage murder suspect. Is she the “rich person investigator” now?

22:11 - Does Louisa know that Malcolm is Jessica’s son?

23:04 - Louisa is a bad liar. 

24:15 - Delaney should be ashamed. He told Nicky who Malcolm’s dad was. He is the reason that Malcolm got locked in a closet for 3 days. He is the reason Malcolm is claustrophobic. This man should have his teaching license seized and be charged with child abuse. What he did was absolutely despicable. 

24:35 - “My mom’s sending a car.” It’s nice that Malcolm doesn’t always refer to Jessica as “mother”

25:00 - This is heartbreaking. I hope Nicky got expelled. If he didn’t - Malcolm experience a bigger injustice than we were lead to believe. Look at Nicky walking away from Malcolm. That kid has no remorse. I don’t blame Malcolm for seeking revenge. Malcolm keeps getting burned by people. Something had to give eventually.

25:30 - The biggest crime this episode committed is that we only saw Malcolm getting comfort from DELANEY. Honestly. Where was my papa Gil moment?!? Or a Dani+Malcolm moment?!?

25:51 - I doubt Delaney tried to stand up for Malcolm. He probably encouraged the expulsion. 

26:05 - “Please.” Yikes. This has been torturing Malcolm for years. Who sold him out? Who ruined his last chance at a happy childhood? Who allowed him to be traumatized further? Who gave him the hand tremor (assuming we’re ignoring the S1 canon). 

26:38 - What. A. Getaway. This school is full of crazy rich kids.

26:55 - “This time”?!? Doesn’t Martin always root for the killer?

27:05 - I love everything about this interaction between Martin and Malcolm. I love how upset Malcolm is. I love how Malcolm calls out Martin for being a bad dad. I love that Martin just sits there and takes it. Martin even looks a little sad. It makes me wonder - did Martin know about Delaney’s cheating ring? Did Martin manipulate Delaney into thinking Malcolm was a threat and convince him to get Malcolm expelled? I can see Martin doing it. If for no other reason than to tarnish the “Milton legacy” at Remington. 

28:04 - UGH. I want to see how Malcolm got out of that closet SO BAD. Who found him? How close to death was he? PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS GIL. Why didn’t Jessica investigate when Malcolm didn’t show up at the Hamptons as planned? 

28:13 - “How you wish that were true.” Ouch. Martin is a real asshole. He knows just how to destabilize Malcolm’s confidence. 

28:56 - Even now, Martin is trying to manipulate Malcolm. Their relationship is so dysfunctional, beautiful, heartbreaking, and complex. I could watch them interact forever. 

29:31 - Look at that little head shake from Mr. David. Martin’s cell is not soundproof. Mr. David heard everything. Mr. David always hears everything. Mr. David knows about Endicott. Istg. 

30:12 - Delaney is a scumbag. He might not be a serial killer but he’s another male, adult asshole who gained Malcolm’s trust and then stabbed him in the back. 

30:37 - OK. So I know, I’ve been hypothesizing that Mr. David is an ally to Martin’s crazy schemes, or that he worked for Endicott, or that Martin is going to try to kill Mr. David. BUT YO. IF MR. DAVID DIES I WILL THROW HANDS. HE’S SUCH A GREAT CHARACTER. 

31:40 - This is a weirdly fancy room for video games. Also I miss JT. He should be here. I wish he was here. He would’ve been so good in this episode. Can you imagine his facial expressions and comments when he finds out little tidbits about Malcolm’s teenage past?! It would’ve been comedic GOLD. Couldn’t Tally give birth during a less interesting episode?!?! 

32:15 - I’m convinced that Malcolm isn’t actually upset that Delaney’s crime is running the cheating ring. I think Malcolm’s upset because he just realized the only positive male role model (aside from Gil) that he had as a teenager was a manipulative liar who betrayed him. Malcolm just realized that this dude never cared about him and he’s crushed.

32:27 - Wait. Does Delaney make the kids pay him for the answers? Because that actually makes sense. 

33:08 - This whole scene where Molly runs out of the back room and Dani says, “who are you running from?” is really cringey to me. 

33:19 - Oh great. Now the guy who betrayed Malcolm is touching the back of Malcolm’s neck. JUST LIKE GIL DOES. Well....something tells me that’s going to taint how comforting Malcolm find’s that gesture coming from Gil for a while. Malcolm just isn’t allowed to be happy. Even for a moment. It’s a shame. I also love it. 

33:40 - Awww...poor Malcolm is claustrophobic and he gets locked in the vault with a dying man. Look how desperate he is to get out of there - to save Delaney and to save himself more mental distress. 

33:53 - Look at Malcolm panicking here. He tries to hide his panic as concern for Delaney but he’s clearly freaking out about being trapped in a smallish space. 

34:25 - Yep. Malcolm didn’t think he could trust Daryl because Daryl is delusional. SO Martin threatens to murder Daryl and then metaphorically stabs the dude in the back. This is perfectly in character. 

35:25 - Damn. Louisa is seriously mentally ill. She has zero empathy. 

35:57 - Malcolm projecting his mental issues on the killer du jour is always simultaneously cringey and amazing to me. 

36:26 - I’m not going to lie. Daryl screaming “He’s a Judas” as he was dragged away was hilarious. 

37:04 - Holy shit. This took a turn. I’ll be honest - I don’t blame Malcolm for almost killing Nicky. But it does scare me. 

38:35 - That story must have been haunting Malcolm for 15 years. I bet you he’s never told anyone not even Gabrielle. He’s had nightmares about it. Because he knows he’s capable of murder. Just like Martin. That terrifies Malcolm more than anything in the world. 

39:12 - sooooo Delaney just heard that whole confession. Delaney lives. Something tells me this is going to be a problem for Malcolm when Endicott’s murder is investigated later in the season.

39:35 - “Are you insane?” “Maybe.” That’s it. That’s the show. 

40:00 - Two questions: 1) Where is Dani? 2) Why does Gil not know where Malcolm is right now?

40:22 - Look Fedak screwed us over. We didn’t get to see Gil find Malcolm half-dead on the floor of that library vault. BUT this scene almost makes up for it. 

40:24 - Malcolm wrapped in a blanket is so so cute. I just want to hug him. I want Gil to hug him. Ugh. <3 

40:28 - I love that you can tell that Malcolm and Gil have had this sort of discussion about Malcolm’s sense of self-preservation numerous times in the past. Gil looks sooooo pissed. And concerned. 

40:35 - Malcolm’s imitation of Gil makes me so so so so happy. I just. Ugh. It’s adorable. Look at how exasperated it makes Gil. Look at Dani’s reaction to it. This might be the greatest “found family”. scenes this show has given us to date. 

40:55 - “All in a day’s work.” Oh yeah. Gil is super concerned about Malcolm’s mental state. Gil is Worried. I want to see more of it. 

40:57 - I love that Dani just can’t wait anymore. She’s so precious. Look at how excited she is about JT’s baby. <3 I’m in love. She’s so soft here - it’s beautiful and rare for this show to let the audience see this side of Dani. 

41:00 - GIL’S REACTION. <3 OMG. I LOVE HIM. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY. I HOPE JT AND TALLY DUB HIM THE BABY’S UNOFFICIAL GRANDFATHER. 

41:02 - MALCOLM’S FACE. <3 <3 <3 IS THIS THE FIRST TIME HE’S EVER SEEN A BABY? HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH THIS CHILD ALREADY. LOOK AT HOW MUCH MALCOLM ALREADY LOVES JT’S KID. <3 <3 IT’S SO SOFT. I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO MUCH. 

41:22 - I can’t decide about this scene. On one hand - I think it’s really mature of Malcolm to apologize to Martin. It’s a courtesy that Martin doesn’t deserve. ON THE OTHER HAND - I wonder if Malcolm is only apologizing to throw Martin off balance. I wonder if this is Malcolm’s attempt to manipulate Martin for once. Either way - I love it. 

42:25 - Martin always gets the last word. He always worms his way into Malcolm’s brain and screws with Malcolm’s sense of self. I hate it. But I also find it so captivating. 

43:05 - Sooooo is Martin committing the murder next episode? Or is he just manipulating someone else to commit a murder? Either way - I’m excited. 

If you read this far - I’m flattered. I also think you’re a little crazy. But thanks for hanging out. 

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Rewatch & Review: 1x05 Bloody Mary

In this review, I’ll be discussing suicide, survivor’s guilt, and bad dialogue.

1x05 Bloody Mary enjoys a rating of 8.4 on IMDB. It’s a strong, atmospheric episode embodying the horror-show vibe the show was intended to evoke. It was originally conceived as being episode two or three of the show, and would have made a better episode two than 1x02 Wendigo due to its themes of guilt and bereavement linking into Jess’s death and Sam’s role in it.

Mirrors are one of the defining symbols of this episode, something made painfully obvious by the incredible number of mirrors the family owns. They are both the means whereby Mary kills her victims and the means whereby characters reflect on themselves. Sam’s info-dumpage that ‛mirrors reflect our soul’ should make it explicit to viewers paying attention that Mary is a metaphor for guilt. This guilt, however, is not necessarily the guilt that comes of commission of a crime or a moral evil, but the feeling of guilt borne of not being able to save somebody, or survivor’s guilt. A person burdened by such guilt looking in the metaphorical mirror must face a metaphorical Bloody Mary waiting to pass judgement.

Quite rightly, this judgement is not just, as indeed feelings of guilt, self-blame and survivor’s guilt are unjust. A discussion of the subject on Supernatural Therapy podcast raised the topic of self-blame when in fact one is not to blame: blaming ourselves is an attempt to feel in control of something and to understand it a little better. The deaths which the ill-fated father and Charlie blame themselves for are incomprehensible.

I can say from my own experience that losing a friend or loved one to suicide is impossible to understand. Grandparents dying of age is natural, and older relatives dying of long-term illness is understandable, though unjust. But when our driving instinct is supposed to be to stay alive, a friend’s or family member’s commission of self-murder undermines completely our comprehension of the world and our reality. It’s traumatic, and the mind seeks to understand and cope with something it simply can’t handle.

Returning to Supernatural Therapy, our feelings of guilt are misplaced attempts to control and understand, but they are more negative than positive. Thus Bloody Mary is an apt villain to don the role of avenging spirit in this episode, as she attacks people who feel guilty, regardless of whether or not they truly are responsible for a death.

This episode ties itself into the Sam’s character particularly closely, as Sam feels himself to blame for Jessica’s death. At first, his guilt is depicted as completely natural: he watched his possibly-pregnant girlfriend burn to death on his ceiling and was utterly unable to help her. Anybody in that situation would be dealing with guilt on top of bereavement and trauma, so he is naturally somebody Bloody Mary would go after. However, the revelation that he had ‛dreams’ (read: premonitions) about Jess’s death for days before it happened add another layer to his guilt.

That layer, of course, being his actual guilt in taking no measures whatsoever to ensure Jess’s safety. Sam is not a blue-eyed baby in 1x01: he is a man with deep knowledge of the supernatural world and was reckless to ignore them. It is never made explicit – unless something has slipped my mind – whether Sam had any experience or knowledge of humans with psychic powers, but it is clear that he knows about the paranormal. Any Muggle would be disturbed by having exactly the same dream of a loved one dying night after night, but would likely pass it off as stress, anxiety or some such. Sam’s no Muggle, and knows better. Was having a ‛normal’ life so important to him that he dismissed and ignored warning signs that the abnormal was coming for his lady? Is Sam partially responsible for Jess’s death here?

Knowing what I know of the circumstances surrounding Jess’s death, he likely couldn’t have stopped it, even had he called Dean and John for help. But he should have called them, and chose not to. If he had done so, she might have been saved. This is death by negligence.

What makes it worse is that he is aware that keeping his visions a secret got Jess killed, but at the end of the episode acts as though he is perfectly justified in retaining his secrets from Dean. Dangerous secrets overtly related to their mother’s death and the demon responsible for killing her, information which would be very useful to Dean and John if shared, but a danger if kept quiet. He learnt that not divulging his secret is dangerous for people around him, and elected to continue not divulging said secret to Dean. Please, dear viewer, bear this in mind in series 7, 8, 9, 15 and every other time Sam gets pissy at Dean for keeping things secret from him.

He even knows in this episode that keeping his secrets almost got Dean killed by Bloody Mary, but ‛just because we’re brothers, doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything’. Sam is supposed to be the hero of this piece...

Yes, some people are genuinely like that, but that doesn’t mean I have to like them, and I sure as Hell don’t like Sam. In the first five episodes, Dean is established as a flawed, contradictory hero who actually brings something to the table. Sam’s an entitled, spoilt prick who treats his brother like a joke and an embarrassment.

Returning to the theme of suicide and guilt, one thing that is not addressed in the episode is the dad’s own relationship to the mother’s death. That she overdosed on sleeping tablets heavily implies suicide, but for about half of the run time the viewer is expected to believe the father was somehow involved in her death, i.e. that he killed her, especially as the second victim was guilty of a hit and run where a boy died. What is never addressed, however, is that his guilt and the reason Bloody Mary targeted him is that he blamed himself for not being able to prevent his wife’s suicide. Charlie is allowed the catharsis of expressing her grief to Dean and Sam, but the father is not afforded the same opportunity.

Apropos Charlie, her precise meaning when she said her ex-boyfriend got ‛scary’ is left occult. He clearly suffered serious mental health problems, something which a lot of people simply aren’t equipped to handle, especially when the one suffering is a close friend or partner. Young male victims of suicide also tend to have been very good at wearing a mask to hide: did he try taking the mask off for her, and she didn’t like what she saw? From what little information she gives us, the implication is that he threatened her with violence or that he used hard drugs or something, but the viewer is at no point privy to what she means by ‛scary’ or to the man’s side of things.

Whether or not the young man intended to frighten and manipulate Charlie by threatening her with his suicide is also unclear. ‛If you walk out that door, I’ll kill myself’ can mean different things depending on tone and context, ranging from a desperate plea for help against an overwhelming mental illness to abusive, sadistic mind games. Having lost more than one man to suicide, the idea that someone would use it as a weapon is inconceivable, but without further information I simply can’t say.

From what little information we have, the man’s suicide was not Charlie’s fault. If we assume he was threatening her to keep her with him, she was right to run. Nobody should be mistreated or burdened like that, and no relationship should be built on a foundation of such abuse. She is important, too. Even if it weren’t a threat, the situation was intensely unhealthy for everybody involved and she was very justified in distancing herself. It wasn’t her fault, and I just wish Dean had told her that in the motel room, rather than simply talking about it to Sam in the car afterwards.

Speaking of said conversation in the car, Dean’s heart was in the right place as he tried to get Sam to stop blaming himself, but he perhaps revealed his own lack of coping tools whilst doing so. Dean is intelligent and empathetic, and far more caring than people give him credit for, but he was raised in an environment where he was not allowed to talk about his fears and anxieties. Nor was he provided any tools whatsoever to facilitate understanding and processing his traumas and illnesses; John wanted him as an emotionally-dead weapon to use in his war against Mary’s killer.

Dean feels, but with no healthy tools nor anybody to acknowledge and help in processing his issues, he bottles things up and pushes them aside as best he can. Of course, the best he can is not all that best, wherefore the drinks and the sex and the gallows humour. This is John’s echo in Dean: John silenced him, and Dean therefore is not best equipped to process his own trauma at the beginning of series 1, much less counsel somebody else (though this changes as the years go by and he learns how to act without John stymieing him).

He meant well in telling Sam he can’t carry on blaming himself for Jess’s death, but the problem is Sam can’t stop blaming himself. Nobody in Sam’s situation can stop themselves feeling what s/he’s feeling, and has to simply feel it. I knew my friend’s suicide wasn’t my fault, but grief, bereavement, and survivor’s guilt are not rational and can’t be controlled by the cognitive mind. The feeling mind is the one in control, all the cognitive mind can do is make suggestions and hope for the best.

Regarding grief and Sam’s situation, Sam’s nightmare and his conversation with Dean at the beginning of the episode are about as explicit as Sam’s grief for Jess gets int eh show, and it’s not much at all. They were together for maybe two years, she was possibly pregnant with his child and died on the ceiling above him, but he doesn’t do any actual mourning or grieving most of the time. That itself is okay as some peolel take years before they’re ready to process grief and bereavement, but Sam behaves like a slightly disgruntled, moody teenager which we’re supposed to interpret as him grieving Jess’s death, but we see next to no actual grief, trauma or expression of loss.

His discussion with Dean is supposed to give us the idea that this is a recurrent event, but it is very, very far from sufficient to genuinely make us believe that Sam is anything other than a little bit sad for Jess.

We have, however, already established that Sam is partially responsible for Jess’s death, but Dean doesn’t know that. In spite of it not being the most productive thing Dean could have said, it was valid. Grieving is natural and uncontrollable, but how we react to it is at least partially within the jurisdiction of the cognitive mind. We can’t resist grief, as even denying it acknowledges its presence, but rather we have to accept it as a natural part of life to be endured and felt, but not be controlled by it.

Similarly, Mary is herself a victim of trauma, having been murdered by her lover. Understandably, her mentis is significantly non compos after the experience, and killing people she deems to be guilty is perhaps her way of trying to process what happened to her. Referring once again to Supernatural Therapy podcast, Jovanna Burke (who played Mary in this episode) states she believed Mary saw herself as a vigilante trying to get restitution for people wronged by killing their murderers, but her world-view became so skewed and she lost all concept of a grey area. For her, things were black or white: guilty or not guilty. Dean as good as says that there is only guilty or not guilty for Mary: if somebody thinks their actions or lack thereof got somebody killed, that person’s guilty. Sam, after all, didn’t kill Jess, Charlie didn’t kill her ex-boyfriend and I don’t believe the father had a part in the mother’s death.

I would add to this that such thinking sounds like a trauma victim’s survival mechanism. If things are easily understood as either / or, good / bad, safe / dangerous, the risk of danger is theoretically reduced. Think wild animals assuming humans are going to kill them: it’s safest to assume and run away.

This has been quite the lengthy discourse on mirrors, but it’s time to switch from the metaphorical and symbolical to the more practical, that being the exact nature of how the magic works. Mary was bound to the mirror she died in front of, but as long as that mirror remained intact, she was free to wonder the mirror world when summoned. In the climax of the episode, Dean and Sam summon her to her mirror in the antique shop, smash it, then face her manifest form in the real world. Dean defeats her by showing her her own reflection in another mirror, whereupon her own reflection deems her guilty of multiple homicides and kills her.

Hawk-eyed readers will have noticed already, but if Mary’s power was bound to her mirror, how then could her own reflection have killed her when the mirror binding her was smashed? Was the source of her power in her, then, rather than the mirror? If so, then how would her seeing her own reflection killed her? A ghost in Supernatural doesn’t have the power to destroy itself like that: it simply can’t. A ghost has refused the Reaper’s invitation to pass on, and can’t therefore pass on, yet Mary does. I can’t make this make sense.

One more thing about that scene is that Dean’s eyes began bleeding, implying he is also hiding a secret where somebody died. Fans made a big number out of this at the time, and Kripke promised us we would find out in due course… but we never did. This is the first instance of one of Dean’s storylines getting dropped by the show, and it’s far from being the last one.

Kripke didn't like Dean. Dean was supposed to be the dumb, womanising popular guy who always gets the women but 'treats them badly' in comparison to Sam's sensitive nice guy act. Sam was Kripke's insert, and Dean was just a character the audience wasn't supposed to like either, so he didn't bother giving Dean his own storylines. Even series 3 is more about Sam's anger and 'grief' than it is Dean's.

Now that the main points are out of the way, there are more minor points in the episode to comment on. One is the lovely cinematography, especially during the cold open / prologue. I began this review by stating that mirrors are important in this episode, and the camerawork in the beginning really drive that home. Moreover, seeing Mary reflected in so many mirrors – and indeed seeing so many reflections – blurs the line between the real world and the mirror world.

The children’s sleepover is also pleasantly lit, with very dark shadows and lots of candlelight evoking the feel of a ghost story. The shot in the library with the rays of light shining on the boys also looked wonderful, and the visual storytelling in the antique shop at the end was impressive. Said visual storytelling refers to the close up shot of a blinking red light, followed shortly after by the headlights of the police cars drifting across the wall. This is intelligent storytelling that expects the viewer to be paying attention, and it’s definitely appreciated.

In spite of my apathy for Jess as a character, the final shot of Sam seeing her on the pavement was fantastic cinematography: as with the flashing lights, it told us a story without needing to tell us anything. Sam saw her, and then she disappeared. Coming at the end of an episode about Sam’s guilt, and roughly a minute after his advice to Charlie about not blaming herself, this strongly suggests something has changed in Sam: the guilt that he was holding on to has begun to ease, or even vanish. It is, however, just a suggestion, and Sam giving Charlie a therapy session he sorely needs doesn’t mean he’s going to follow his own advice.

I wish, however, that more had been revealed about the kind of pills the father was taking in the cold open.

Speaking of the library – which we weren’t –do you remember when Wi-Fi didn’t exist? I remember. Currently I’m sitting about two metres away from my computer which is tethered to my mobile phone, typing on a wireless keyboard, using a wireless mouse in a room with no working ethernet cable or modem, listening to sounds of an oil rig on Bluetooth headphones, but in 2005 none of that was possible. There’s almost as much time between now and then as there was between my birth and ABBA winning Eurovision in Brighton in 1974.

Which is a nice segue into the soundtrack of the episode. The music in the opening is effective, being both reminiscent of the prologue of 1x01 with its minimalistic, slow piano track building tension and unease, but with an underlying hollow, howling wind sound that I can only liken to the dementors in Harry Potter.

Less impressive, however, was Mary’s dialogue, showing a complete lack of effort put into it. ‛You killed them, you’re guilty’, ‛you did it, you killed that boy’.

I rewatched this episode for the first time in 12 years in December 2020, by myself in a silent flat very late at night. I was 29, and this episode still creeped me out, making me hesitant to look at the window in case my reflection moved. Whilst it’s not my favourite episode, it’s certainly a solid effort with a memorable – if dated – antagonist in a self-contained MOTW story. Like the pilot, it showcased Kripke’s initial conception of the show as being about American folklore (although Bloody Mary is very much a British thing, too), and boasts a very atmospheric miniature horror show. It also offers character development and growth, even thought Sam’s claim that he would die for Dean is laughable in retrospect.

After once more exploring folk tales in 1x05, in next week's analysis of episode 1x06 Skin I'll be looking at how the show expands its daemonology by introducing a series staple.

[paperclipninja]

Lucifer post-ep ramble 5x01

Hi there, long time fangirl, first time Lucifan. After devouring all 4.5 seasons of this magnificent show in an impressive/alarming (all a matter of perspective) amount of time, I have very quickly found myself well and truly obsessed dedicated to all things Lucifer. And when a show grabs me like this one has, I tend to have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I can’t help but share, and so the post-ep ramble was born. It will probably contain many words, it may or may not be particularly coherent, there will definitely be over-analysing, but I thought I might indulge in re-capping the season 5 eps as I re-watch, so this is the first ramble off the rank. 

‘Really Sad Devil Guy’ (A+ ep name btw) kicks off as we’re still scrambling to pick up all our heart pieces after the season 4 finale, which is why Mr. Said Out Bitch (aka Lee Garner) being in Hell is such a cracker of an opening. Lucifer just waiting below deck on Fishizzle II (wth happened to Fishizzle I??) to greet him with his trademark ‘hello’ made me disproportionately happy, mostly because he was on my screen but also because his encounters with Mr. SOB are always great and this was no exception. Getting an insight into ‘life in Hell’, the way the characters in the Hell loops are played by Demons and Lucifer in action as the King was fab at this point in the series. And does anyone else have a visceral reaction to Lucifer stopping that bullet? I know it’s brief, I cannot explain it, it might be the command he has, the fact it’s awesome, but it makes me FEEL things. Just me? Cool.

I think what really strikes me in the way Lucifer just has to pop in on Mr. SOB upon hearing of his arrival, is the fact that he is a link to Lucifer’s life on Earth. They’ve existed in the same places there, breathed the same air, it’s a way for Lucifer to make that connection to his home more tangible. And when he realises where Mr. SOB’s hell loop has them moored, at Marina Del Ray, the way Lucifer says 'Los Angeles' with such yearning makes those heart pieces I had started cobbling back together really begin to ache. What this episode pulls off so brilliantly is the way Chloe and Lucifer remain connected despite being apart, and it’s all set up when Lucifer tells Mr. SOB, ‘You know, there's a good chance I know who's on your case. To them it's only been a few months, a blink of an eye, but here it's been much much longer’.

What’s happening ‘below deck’ in Hell (sorry...or am I?) is of course mirrored at the crime scene, where Maze is still calling Ella Ellen (never change Maze ILY) and Ella is banging on about Lucifer not responding to her DM’s and texts and it’s all so on brand and the thought of her sending Lucifer a clip of a parrot dancing to techno and him finding it funny is just too perf. Maze having Chloe’s back from the get-go and telling Ella to ‘read the room’ just shows how far this Demon has come. And of course Chloe saying that she hasn’t even really thought about Lucifer since he left...(spoiler alert: she has).

Seeing Maze and Chloe out drinking and dancing, somehow they're kinda dorky together and I love it, but it’s also really clear that they’re both leaning on each other pretty heavily and being there for one another and honestly, I love literally every combination of characters on Lucifer, you put any two together and the dynamic is 100% their own and these two are up there. It’s so weird seeing Amandiel running Lux, I big L LOVE Amenadiel but it’s just...wrong. Plus hats off to D.B. because his delivery of ‘No one sells drugs in my place...without me getting a piece of the action’, not gonna lie, I was THROWN.

So are we assuming that the number of months Lucifer has been gone = the number of times Chloe has rocked up to work with a hangover? Lol at the sunglasses but also, you do you Chloe, whatever you gotta do babe. Just like Amenadiel running Lux is like watching a slightly off AU version of the show, so is seeing Maze and Chloe as partners at work. Don’t get me wrong, Maze clearly supporting her and when they’re interrogating a lead, seeing Chloe and Maze have such a groove that they’re finishing each other's sentences and communicating without talking, I dig it. But I love that while it’s great, it still doesn’t feel right. Because that there is why this show is so clever, as an audience we crave the return to the way things were just as the characters we are watching do.

Linda being a completely OTT mum is so fab. I could write an entire essay about my Linda love. Her adamance that ‘Charlie’s special’ and Ella’s ‘every child is special in their mum’s eyes, huh?’ sums it up perfectly. Did I mention I adore Ella? I definitely get the distinct impression Ella is doing a bit of self-reflection, her comment about being drawn to the bad boys for some reason clearly foreshadowing, but also her reflecting that she deserves a good guy for once (just not this ep when there is a bad boy/potential suspect to be hooked up with). I am curious to see the ‘darkness’ Ella has alluded to in earlier seasons being explored further and feel like this is sowing the seeds and I’m also waiting for a significant Linda/Ella D&M at some point. But clearly not this point, because 'science lesson Wednesdays...I checked your schedule and that's your day off' Linda is NOT about deep and meaningfuls (or anyone who isn’t a 2 month old baby), you need to DIAL IT DOWN friend.  I love that it takes Trixie pulling some funny faces and Dan offering some sage parenting advice as he returns the self-help books (love the irony there) for Linda to begin to chill a bit.          

So Dan has gone all new age with his oils and self improvement and you know what? I love it. And then of course we have Amenadiel needing to help make the world a safer place, he just needs to make sure for Charlie ya know and ugh my ovaries. I must say, I was relieved to realise that the club life had not in fact corrupted the delightful warrior we all love after all - it’s all a ploy to catch a REAL BIG TIME drug dealer (nooooo I can feel the second hand embarrassment already...)! Amenadiel setting up the ‘drug bust’, telling the dealer, ‘looks like gooood drugs’, oh you dear sweet naïve Angel you. We of course discover that the bust is, well, a bust, because the ‘drug lord’ is actually a kid trying to offload his mum’s pain meds *insert facepalm emoii here*. But rather than ridicule or be angry, Dan is so understanding and supportive of Amenadiel and once again offers up advice and I really am so into this friendship on every level and the care and openness it models.

Meanwhile, the genius parallel between what is happening on Earth and in Hell really takes effect as Chloe and Maze go undercover (I mean, they are a glam couple lbh) to the poker game while Lucifer is at a game hosted by the same suspect in Mr. SOB’s ‘exquisite’ Hell loop. His exclamation that it’s exquisite reflects that Lucifer and Mr. SOB are not that different, that it’s the kind of place Lucifer might manifest as well, but I also feel that Lucifer could be admiring his own Kingdom’s handiwork at creating LA with such accuracy from someone’s subconscious. He allows himself to be absorbed in it, ‘City of Angels, I’ve missed you’, and I can’t help but get the impression that hearing Lucifer call LA this for the first time is confirmation that his Heaven, or place of Angels, is in fact there with Chloe.

Chloe remains firmly in the forefront of Lucifer’s mind this entire episode, with him asking ‘what would she do?’ and wanting to replicate the life he had with her at the precinct. But of course he is soon reminded of his reality, as he tries to get more information from Mr. SOB who is being useless. Lucifer incorrectly calling him ’Detective’ shatters the illusion that he is any closer to Chloe, and this is impressively emphasised as he erases the LA cityscape to reveal the Hellscape. For a moment he’d let himself believe he was back there. Back home. His, ‘you’re not her’ making some of my heart pieces fall out once again.

But then the messenger arrives, ‘Lord Morningstar, there’s someone you should meet’ and lo and behold it’s guy who just got hit by car up on the Earth-side of this investigation and I.am. loving. it. Also, did Lucifer put out a Hell-wide memo that if ANYONE arrives from LA they are to be bought to him so he can send messages to Chloe through their bodies??? NO REALLY I'M FINE. Having a Demon possess the dead dude’s body to pass on the tip from Lucifer was just TOO MUCH. His, ‘hey is that Mazikeen?’ made me actually lol but also, look how far we’ve come! Chloe doesn’t even flinch when the dead guy wakes up possessed to pass on Lucifer’s message. I’m so proud. 

'It's safe where you stored it' caused me way more amusement than was perhaps intended, but Ella, Maze and Chloe together, trying to figure out what it meant, it's such a great moment and the comedic timing is gold. Also, the fact it actually helps the case, ugh, Chloe and Lucifer are still connected and working together even though they are not on the same plane of existence and I’m just going to need to curl up for a minute because feelings.

You know who else is having a lot of feelings in this ep? The Devil himself. After he is satisfied he has passed on the message, he’s done with Mr. SOB, sending him, ‘back to your torture. And me to mine’. Any remnants of my heart are now once again shattered all over the floor in case you’re wondering. Lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the fact that being away from Chloe is so painful, almost revealing more than he ever usually would when Mr. SOB asks if she’s ‘somebody important?' to which he replies, 'more than you could ever know'. 

He only just stops himself before telling Mr. SOB her name, when he realises he's trying to manipulate him. And I'm so glad, Lucifer so sparingly uses Chloe’s name, it's always significant when he does and I feel like he reserves those moments for only between them. But Mr. SOB really does sum it up when he observes, ‘you just seem like a really sad Devil guy’, BECAUSE HE IS A REALLY SAD DEVIL GUY (can we just take a moment to appreciate how not at all scared of Lucifer Mr. SOB is, he doesn’t even refer to him as THE Devil, just ‘Devil guy’. It’s kind of nice that he sees and accepts him as both Devil and human without really questioning it). 

The parallel continues as Chloe and Lucifer are talking to a sister and brother  and the way this highlights the place they're both in. It's just brilliant writing and execution. Chloe is talking to Meg about her brother’s death and both her and Lucifer's yearning for one another is palpable. At the same time, Maze telling Chloe that they don’t need Lucifer and kissing Chloe highlights Maze’s desire for connection and love. She wants it so badly and the way she shuts down when Chloe suggests they stop working together breaks my heart.

When Lucifer takes Mr. SOB to the root of his Hell loop, yes, it’s about Lucifer projecting his own guilt and lack of self worth onto him, but his assertion that, 'it is inevitable sooner or later you're going to disappoint them all over again. So you'd rather stay away for all eternity’, really feels as though it carries multiple meanings. As a self-referential comment, is Lucifer talking about Heaven or Earth? Is it his fear of disappointing and letting down Chloe and the other humans or is it his belief that he disappointed his family? And if Angels self-actualise does that mean he was never 'stuck' in Hell at all and could have returned to Heaven? I certainly feel there is some sort of realisation occurring here. Or could be completely over-analysing it. Why not have both 🤷‍♀️

You know the line that just up and got me though? ‘Whose hell is this anyway? Are you sure this is my hell? You just here torturing yourself’- Mr. SOB calling Lucifer out is A MOMENT. And I can’t help but wonder if a part of it is Lucifer wanting Mr. SOB to come to terms with his own guilt, wanting to help him because he knows he’s not evil and he is trying to reconcile his own guilt too. If he can help Mr. SOB face and let go of the guilt then he has a chance of it too. And that’s when Mr. SOB challenges Lucifer, pointing out that he missed his chance, ‘but what about you?’ 'The self-centred simplicity of you humans never ceases to amaze me...I am here out of responsibility, I had to protect humanity, I had to protect HER', the delivery of this line, the frustration of being misunderstood, of ppl thinking that he acts for himself when his very reason for being back in Hell is for others, I can feel it through the screen.

The dead guy we saw get shot in the kitchen appearing at that moment with news about ‘the Detective’ and then cutting straight back to the shoot up in the house, file under: how to brilliantly edit. “Lucifer” appearing; the whistle, the casually strolling in, the ‘hello bad guys’ = I was FOOLED. I mean you have to admit, the ‘thought I'd give you a hand' pun was well played, classic Lucifer, very convincing.  My shipper heart was SO FULL for the split second Lucifer and the Detective kissed, until Chloe realised that something was off and her open eyes told us something was up. The cut back to Hell and seeing Lucifer still standing there with Mr. SOB...you may have heard my ‘noooooooo’ from wherever you are. ‘She’ll be just fine without me’...said every Devil who has a dick twin brother who’s going to try and destroy, nay STEAL, his life and love of his life ever.

Michael, you're an evil bastard but damn you nailed that villainous smirk over-the-shoulder pose in the final shot. Whatever you have in store, I will no doubt revel in your awfulness and be confused about whether or not I hate you. 

[hellreads]

Hi! Can you suggest some good immersive fics that will make me feel all the feels? Even better if they're series! Thank you I love your blog!!

hi there sweetie, thank you for loving this blog, lemme love you too!💕💖✨ hmm this is tricky, to ask me of all people for immersive fic recommendations because I always immerse (to me reading something I enjoy and immersing in it makes me feel like I’m an actress playing the part so whatever genre it is watch me get into it 100%) but I’ll try and make a list of fics one per member, where I immersed myself through and through (shit this is harder than I thought, btw WII stands for why I immersed lol ~ list under the cut) 😅 | 🍒

➴ Kim Namjoon❥ Let the Villain Win by @lemonjoonah​➴ Author/Yandere!AU | Author!Namjoon x Agent!Reader | One-Shot➴ Kim Namjoon, famous author and your childhood friend has been keeping a secret from you. His new book treads on such dark themes that he’s finding it difficult to write. Excited by the prospect of a sinister plot you offer him a piece of advice, “Let the villain win…”➴ WII: I love Misery by Stephen King plus its movie adaption and LTVW gave me reverse Misery vibes, I know most people wouldn’t want to put themselves or immerse into stories like this but the adrenaline rush of being in MC’s shoes? delicious, I felt like as soon as Namjoon’s plan came to fruition my body astral projected to see him in all his yandere glory.

➴ Kim Seokjin❥ In the Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx​➴ Idol/Prostitution!AU | Idol!Seokjin x CEO!Reader x Idol!Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.So what happens when you mix fire and ice?You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.➴ WII: tbh starting this fic I never really knew what I was getting into, all I saw was Kim Seokjin and I was sold, I was never a Park Chanyeol stan before reading this but I ended up being one, there’s a lot going on in this series but to immerse and be in a love triangle between the two men and feel the push and pull plus intense passionate emotions they’re willing to shower you with will tear you apart, but don’t worry there are two doors at the end of the story you get to choose between Jin or Chanyeol. 

➴ Min Yoongi❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective/Infidelity!AU | Detective Inspector!Yoongi x Homicide Detective!Reader x Teacher!Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.➴ WII: I have always had a thing for working in forensics, profiling people, investigating crime scenes, and basically any investigator/detective/analyst work and this story right here helped me get that feel because there are actual cases they work on here with vivid descriptions to help that wild imagination of yours *wink* + the whole infidelity affair is a mystery you’ll have to use your deduction skills.

➴ Jung Hoseok❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Mob/Infidelity!AU | Mob Boss!Jin x Wife!Reader x Mob!Yoongi x Mob!Hoseok | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.➴ WII: this will put you in a rollercoaster ride of emotions there are actually three members here that will make things quite hard for you, but I have to say BG Hoseok is definitely one of my favorite characterizations of him, though there will be a push and pull of emotions once you get further into the story.. also, you’ll have to go through so much because immersing in this one will hurt a lot to the point where your heart is almost numbed.

➴ Park Jimin❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland​➴ Neighbor/Stalker!AU | Stalker!Jimin x Neighbor!Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.➴ WII: hey it’s ya girl danger lover (my tag line lol), seriously immersing in this one will kinda make you wonder about MC and her choices as if Jimin cast a spell on her, there is this psychological manipulation he uses on her and it will drive you to madness because you will still bend to him and find him irresistible + the kinks here = wildt.

➴ Kim Taehyung❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax​➴ Assassin!AU | Assassin!Taehyung x Assassin!Kinsoo x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know➴ WII: now I know you’re probably wondering if it’s possible to immerse in fics with named OC? as I said I’m an actress who plays the part when reading and to immerse into the enigma that is Kinsoo is a wonderful experience, this belongs to the list of the intense fics I immersed into and if you’re the type to go all out when immersing no matter what genre or theme (taboo) the story contains you’ll enjoy the intensity of this one because you get everyone’s POV as you go through making you understand each character better and there is actual assassin work here if you enjoy the stealth way, you’ll appreciate Taehyung and Kinsoo’s work and the people that work for them.

➴ Jeon Jungkook (I’ll list five why not? I have read way too many JJK fics lol)❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Cheater!Jungkook x Cheater/GF!Reader x BF!Jimin | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.➴ WII: if there’s one story I will never shut up about? it’s this one, I always recommend this to friends, this is the perfect depiction of having a taste of your own medicine in fic form, immersing in this one will make you fall for Jungkook and hope for your own ending, but this won’t sugarcoat anything for you and that’s what I love about this story, but tbh I still think of my own ending every single night. sighhhhh.

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi​➴ F2L!AU | BFF!Taehyung x BFF/GF!Reader x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.➴ WII: okay, me putting this under the list for Jungkook must expose which side I’m on but that’s not the reason why this is under his name, it’s here because I love his WYLEI characterization so much and if you’ve been reading this series too, you’re probably head over heels in love with the boy too? and immersing in this, feeling all the ways he changed MC’s life and the way he loves her? stop it i’m crying right now. T_T

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Stalker/Lovers!AU | Stalker/BF!Jungkook x Noona/GF!Reader x Ex-Fiance!Namjoon x BFF!Seokjin | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.➴ WII: ahhhh to be Jungkook’s Noona, I love immersing in this because there’s so much intense passion here, and if you allow yourself to fall into the role you will understand the statement that Love is Blind that people will overlook anything their lover is involved in because so what if they did this or that? they only have hearts in their eyes, the manipulation here might get to you irl, like wow, seriously this was so brilliantly written, how can you not love Jungkook and give him everything right?  

❥ DNA by @btssavedmylifeblr​➴ Dystopian/Breeding!AU | Stud!Jungkook x Cow!Reader | Series➴ Jungkook’s career is in jeopardy when he begins falling for a woman he’s supposed to impregnate.➴ WII: the futuristic feels? amazing description and details? unique universe? if you’re up for those things this is one amazing read you should be immersing yourself into, I’m so in love with the way this was written, Bee and her galaxy mind will challenge you into painting all of her words in your head and you’ll have an advanced futuristic universe where babies are manufactured and modified to your liking but if you mix feelings into the process and what do you get? ugh, this is just brilliant!

❥ The Fitting by @noona-la-la-la​➴ Idol!AU | Idol!Jungkook x Stylist/Noona!Reader | Series➴ The younger Jungkook has a workplace crush on you, but you let the flattery get to you and make a proposition you can’t take back.➴ WII: who can ever say no to idol!jungkook? prepare to immerse into this tension-filled romance with Jungkook, laced with complications of keeping a secret “relationship“, so this is what happens when fire meets ice at work, and this being an idol!au will give you a glimpse of how they probably keep their affairs hidden from everyone and it can be stressful, full of jealousy, and fights.

➴ OT7 ❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr​➴ Space!AU | Space Crew!OT7 x Space Crew!Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.➴ WII: BEST.OT7.FIC.EVER. so why not immerse yourself and be the only girl in their universe right? this has so much sexual tension since they only have you sis, but it’s fun to get all the attention tho there will be stressful and trying times, the boys will compensate *wink*wink* 

❥ A Hundred Percent Human by wrienne➴ Hybrid/Host-Club!AU | Hybrid!OT7 x Human/Owner!Reader | Series➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.After your estranged mother passes away, you’re left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you’re desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.Set in the not too distant future where infertility has become mankind’s greatest issue. Will contain sexual content.➴ WII: what’s an ot7 fic without tension? majority of the boys are dog hybrids with certain classes and MC has no fucking clue how to deal with hybrids let alone seven of them with two of them being special classes/cases, this will be a little slow-paced as the story starts more on their background/history as hybrids and they’re still getting comfy with one another, which I think is a great way to pull readers in and grow attached to the hybrids.

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | Vampire!OT7 x Human!Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.➴ WII: how can we pass up on vampire!ot7? this is a brilliant story that will have the same haze effect on you as the reader, I immersed hardcore on this one and I’m like who am I? it’s weird when you get affected and get all the phantom feels from reading alone you know? and this will affect you so much I swear to god it’s you literally transported and astral projected into this universe and it’s so pleasing but also frightening to be in the middle of two covens.

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Dystopian/Sex Worker!AU | Idol!OT7 x Physical Companion!Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.➴ WII: this has an interesting take on being Bangtan’s “companion” and to immerse into this one and watching everyone catch feelings and defy the rules for a chance at romance will overwhelm you, you a mere “companion” now the object of their affection and they’re willing to do anything and everything for you even if it means risking it all. 

p.s. I suggest you go through my FICSHELF to view all of the stories I ever read so you get to choose the exact story you want to read, the shelf contains story links (Tumblr and ao3 if any) with summary, warnings, and more info about the fic (character role, genre, au, word count). 

[randomlerson75]

Stuff people at my high school have said or done

• “I’ll just pretend I broke my ankle. I’ll limp a little”

• “You’re face doesn’t even have many bones”

• “Do you wipe your ass with your fingers”

• “I look cute though so I’m saving it”

• “They’re not dirty minded they just have a sexy brain”

• “This is not a good situation now. I’m not happy”

• *sleeping in class and randomly screams* “STOP!!!”

• “I’m coloring my weed symbol”

• “I stretch pretty violently I’m sorry”

• “I look like I’m more full of life than you”

•”I’m a good person” “haha ok”

• “I’m gonna round it to the nearest 11”

• “You don’t always have to swallow”

• “What a fucking time to be alive”

• “why are you harissing me”

• “That’s why you turn around and punch him in the face”. “I don’t have time”

• “You are the highest grade”

• “Does it taste normal”. “No it tastes good”

• “Why are we all up in this cold ass blueberry”

• “The sun can’t be that hot”

• “I could have overreached but that would make me stupid”

• “I’m all muscle bro, it’s tight on me”

• ”I’m a stripper that’s how I make my money”

• “You’re my mom” *talking to the teacher*

• “Are you high” “just get it off”

• *laughs normally* “you sound like a pedophile”

• “Pinkie ring until I roll”

• *about to jump off a cliff in a video for free diving* “push her”

• “Capitalism is ok”

• “It’s so funny how you can be alive one second and dead the next”

• “Change the m in marijuana to a j. Jarijuana”

• *teacher puts desk in the hallway*

• “He smoked water”

• “You can’t speak Latin” “Can you?”

• “May I acquire a pencil” “yes you may” “have a blessed day”

• “I’m going to write a book about how depressed I am”

• “God has forsaken me”

• *girls trying to stab each other with scissors*

• “I got a pretty long weenus. It looks like a penis”

• “My skeleton is twerking”

• *draws a skeleton twerking* “this is why it’s fun to learn art”

• “Why does he have eye holes?” “He’s a skeleton”

• “Don’t get my businesses ”

• “YOU ARE A WHORE”

• “love is so good”

• “Happy 17th day of birth”

• “You know it’s cold when you walk outside and it’s cold

• “why are you smiling like a creep Jess?” “That’s my normal face”

• “I’m living my best life, right here right now”

• *About thirty kids doing nothing but snapping*

• “Yes, I am very racist about smart boards”

• “I used to be like ;) but now I’m like :|”

• “Physically I’m here but mentally I’m still at home”

• “Emotions are like hurricanes. They never go where they are suppose too”

• “it took me a whole 27 minutes”

• “I would pay for the fire alarm to go off again”

• “Why did we get such a gay name like Florence”

• “this is my dad” *points to Albert Einstein

• *A REAL debate on wether to rip the clippy part off of mechanical pencils*

• “Not gonna lie. I grinded a friends marathon this weekend”

• “FINISH THE TEA”

• “You should know to never mess with another persons tech deck”

• “She has a thing against white people even though she’s white”

• “Speak of the devil. All white, what a fright”

• “You are a children”

• “You think a bull in a china shop? How about a bomb in a restaurant”

• “Me do”

• “I cheesed myself”

• “I never said I was going to jump you at Bojangles”

• “Knitting is VERY fun”

• “I’m not good enough, I’m great enough”

• “North Korea, South Korea, Same thing”

• *drops pencil* “NOOOOOOOOO”

• *light flickers* “excuse you”

• “You can make Australia bigger?”

• “Why don’t we burn people at the stake anymore for doing crimes. It was proven very effective”

• “It’s like I went into the pits of hell”

• “Can I borrow her crutches” “She has a lot”

• “You have arms?”

• “I was born thick”

• “I wasn’t sick I was drunk”

• “be a good person. Go go go”

• “Lotion and ravioli”

• “It smells like weed in here”

• “F*ck oxygen”

• “bring it back tomorrow or you die”

• “Tables are for glasses, not asses”

• “Stick it in between her boobs”

• “A lot of religions end in ism” “Christianiaism”

• “I just want someone to snort my ashes. That would be cool. Mix it with a little cocaine”

• “The United States of Australia”

• “Clark Kent who. I’m kidding, that’s not even Spider-Man”

• “Mental cheese”

• “Your blood is not supposed to make whistling noises”

• “Who sleeps on a Friday night”

• “A whole ass race”

• “that’s a sexy button” “I know right”

• *Screams* “and....”

• “Judaism is neither a religion or race”

• “Have you ever met someone and thought ‘wow. I would feel no remorse killing you’”

•“I hate this school with a burning passion”

•“Beep beep in your seats”

•“What is wrong with the world? The simulation is breaking”

•“What if we’re each other’s dad”

•“You use mental gymnastics to get around your head and get what you want”

•”You can’t just roll up to North Korea. You have to beat me in bingo”

•*teachers wear a dress and played despacito on the trumpet*

• “He’s a stingy boi”

• “A for anarchy? Dude i wish”

• “shut up I’m choking”

• “The snack the smiles back” “GOLDFISH!!!”

• “Where’s the pointy boi?” “I don’t know. I have the thick boi”

• “Dude. Fish can’t talk”

• “Stop taking my eraser” “it’s a ruler” “it can be whatever it wants to be”

• “A female vacuum is attractive”

• “I can love you but not like you”

• “I am mother gothel mentally, physically and spiritually

• “Mother gothel is my religion”

• “IM GETTING A COW!!!!”

• “It’s like Leonardo Da’Vinchi but instead it’s Leonardo Decaprio”

• “I wish I had some crippling disease. Schizophrenia would be nice”

• “I’m gonna kill someone for the rush of adrenaline I’ll get. I’ll get pumped, then I’ll work out”

• “Should I become an important political figure”

• “My cats might have eaten him”

• “Who else is trying to overthrow the government”

• “Where’s our kid?” “He looked at me funny and I had to teach him a lesson. I flushed him down the toilet”

• “I text Jesus all the time”

• “You are a saucy boi”

• “Your neck is really soft. Do you know that?”

• “Um. No professor. I don’t give a fuck”

• “Bro I look like a whole ass beetle”

• “You know? I’m definitely going to hell. But I’ve accepted that”

• “We need to go to the woods and have a collective cry”

• “Moths = whore”

• “Can we watch more food videos”

• “Just outlive the old people and health care prices can go back to normal”

• “Let’s just start the gladiator games again to handle population”

• “I’ll be Michael Phelps”

• “Don’t you just hate it when Nolan steps on your 69 Barbie head”

• “He’s so 20”

• “LITTLE BOY! WHERE ARE YOUR NIPPLES”

• “You guys disgust me”

• “I thought I had a good nights sleep but then I stood up and was like ‘oh no’”

• “you look better as an apple”

• “Why the fuck does it smell like weed in here. Mrs. Burch be blazing it up”

• “What is the coast of South Carolina growing” “Fish”

• “Why are we here on Halloween but not on Thanksgiving”

• “Even though I’m 18 I still might go trick or treating”

• “All minors should be allowed to trick or treat”

• “Tomorrow is not today, is it?”

• “ah yes, the glorious uno and dos”

• “I think Kanye is a crackhead”

• “Like. She’s not hideous”

• “Casserole and Gatorade?”

• “That’s what Google’s for girly”

• “this class has corrupted me”

• “You stepped on my fat”

• “What would Jesus do?”

• *Squeaks kazoo in anguish*

• “We’re going to watch a video about the depression” “weird, nobody has been following me around with cameras”

• “Approximately 50 minutes till ice cream”

• “Did you know heroin is not good for you?”

• “I have the constant need to fight myself and my demons”

• “what the hell?” “I know”

• “you are crack-a-lakin me up”

• “I have no muscles so what’s the point”

• “Flex on the legless”

• “didn’t that movie come out in November? Fifty shades of green?”

• *County music blares from another class down the hall*

• “I got a twin brother” “What’s his name” “Pj”

• “Keep the iPhone in your ear”

• “Super white red lipstick”

• “They just need a lot more dollars”

• “Don’t be like Anthony” “Isn’t he your son”

• “There’s a lot that needs to happen in the next.... today”

• *Plays bagpipe music walking down the hallway*

• “Say sorry to Billie Eilish”

• “We should make army merch”

• “Some of us have bitch lips”

• “Time is moco loco”

• “Alfred Adler sounds like Adolf Hitler”

• “Albert Einstein is my favorite president” “YES”

• “It’s winter berries”

• “She just unfollowed your ass”

• “Do you ever get so mad you’re like rrrrr”

• “Bear Grills filtered that shit”

• “The US army is trying to recruit us with socks and bandannas”

• “This dude tastes bad”

• “I’m a sophisticated retard”

• “It’ll get your heart rate up” “I think asthma will make my heart rate go down”

• “She was like egh and the he was like EGH”

• *Door won’t open* “DISRESPECTFUL”

• “if she wasn’t my sister she would be my baby”

• “Will you let me make love to an Oreo”

• “Directions turn me on”

• “I’ll eat you” “Dude that’s gay”

• “you’ve been had a 69 in here”

• “I’m gonna be real with you. Hayden is a whole ass lesbian”

• “I’m sorry that picture is ugly. Sorry sis”

• “A whole jump suit with pikachu on it”

• “He’s been birthed”

• “Ru Paul’s drag race has been dragged”

• “Imma sip some chlorine”

• “why do you gotta throw up”

• “suicidal dog collar”

• “I’m pulling out Murphy’s head ass”

• “you’re gonna be single forever”

• “Do you trust me?” “No” “why” “you know why” “I told the truth after”

• “I didn’t mean to make her suicidal”

• “I did it in the most respectful way I possible could” “oh Jesus”

• “it’s not my fault she had that much of a connection”

• “she’s a sly bitch”

• *dresses in a Thomas the train hat and plays Thomas the train theme song on a piano*

• “I’m getting better at this” “what” “this”

• “It’s just my master plan to manipulate people’s emotions and have many successes in my future”

• “How do you do that” “I just empty my eyes”

• “You know what. Give me my birthday back”

• “Bitch bye. Not even cousins”

• “they go away. They don’t putt putt”

• “why” “so you don’t die in a police chase”

• “are you a virgin” “yes” *throws paper* “there’s my virginity for you”

• “I’m not stupid. I’m just not smart”

• *tries to hit someone with a decapitated mannequin head that has swim goggles on and fake blood coming out of its eyes*

• “you ignant”

• “I hope she chokes”

• “I had to sit at the edge of my chair, feet flat on the floor and hold my horn”

• “I don’t want to get my freaking hair done”

• “he hates my moms guts” “yeah no shit”

• “ok. Can you go cry over there”

• “Fuckin Jurassic world”

• “will you please beat up my mom”

• *drops phone purposefully* *immediately gets scared*

• “I want a new mom” “then break her”

• “did you just say what’s frog juice”

• *freshman walk by* “oh shit there’s a parade of them”

• “that five year old king is a queen”

• “Join the ranks”

• “Garrett’s carressing the computer” “cool”

• “You’re going into my dragons mouth”

• “Don’t snap my crab”

• “Crab breaking black belt”

• “are you milking the crab”

• “Cameron buttered my lemons”

• “Mixed with god”

• “What’s the juice”

• “I’m your bestie and you won’t even tell me the juice”

• “Let’s amazon.com this”

[catgirlxox]

A Rebuttal of Ohvist Small’s "Modesty vs Arrogance" Video

My first issue with this video clip compilation is the context of the scenes depicting the events in Ben's life. The “modest” and the “arrogant” clips go back and forth through different contexts. The actions which are considered as his "modesty" happen as he watches, what he was made to believe was, his Grandpa literally dying in an explosion, as well as before he even knew Max was still alive. This how any real person should react in that situation because it is traumatic. You can not compare a person's behaviour directly following a traumatic event to a later circumstance where the has likely recovered and is in a better state of mind. 

His "arrogance" is not as malicious as it is made out to be. 

Not only that, but this “shift” in attitude is shown to happen to Ben’s character frequently throughout the series, and specifically when something traumatic occurs or is brought up. He takes on this very “mature” and “adult” behaviour, but this is obviously his way of coping with situations kids his age generally do not have to deal with. He has to deal with grown up problems, so he better act like one. 

In the Original Series’ “Ben 10,000″ episode, future Ben was shown to do this exact thing, albeit to a bit of an extreme since he actually was an adult. 

In Ultimate Alien, Ben reverted to his part of his character during times such as the Ultimate Kevin arc situation, as well as the episodes “The Ultimate Sacrifice”, and “The Ultimate Enemy.” 

In Omniverse, we are introduced to Malware -  a villain who traumatized Ben at the age of 11 and returns to cause him even more trouble at 16. When Ben is faced with the trauma Malware inflicts upon him, this triggers him to go into that “mature” and “serious” character. 

The Omniverse episode “Malfactor” showcases the way these types of triggers affect the way Ben acts. One of the Nemetrix aliens, a predator to Ben’s chosen alien (Big Chill), manages to hypnotize him in order to distract him from Malware. This predator manipulates Ben’s mind to find what he truly wants deep down and manufactures a hallucination which displays Ben’s reaction that hypothetical situation. 

Crowd (chanting): “Ben 10! Ben 10! Ben 10! We love you, Ben 10!”

Ben (inside the hallucination): “Yeah! Thank you! I love you all, too! But not as much as you love me...”

Ben (outside the hallucination): “No. This isn’t what it’s about. I'm a hero.”

Ben (controlling inside the hallucination from the outside): “Being a hero isn’t about fame. It’s about putting other people before yourself or what you want. It’s about doing the right thing just because it’s the right thing to do. It’s about about making a difference.” 

From this scenario, we are shown that all Ben truly wants is some recognition for his deeds. He could very well have dreamed of more, considering there is an alternate Ben (23) who is rich and famous. But, because he has been criticized for being proud of himself in the past (for “saving the whole entire universe”), once he begins to enjoy receiving the credit and love he deserves, he doesn’t even allow himself to feel good about it. 

But what he does say in the end is still very admirable, smart, and “mature.”

The rest of the time, when he is not faced with these stressors, Ben is his regular optimistic, confident self. This is not a flaw. This is him in a positive state of mind. He does not lose this “mature” outlook. He knows very well why he continues to do his job. 

Moving on to clips included in the compilation:

“Vengeance of Vilgax”

Gwen: "I'm not kidding, Ben. I'm really mad at you! Kevin and I could have been killed!"

The reason Gwen and Kevin are mad is because they weren't capable enough to take down Sserpent on their own. They really should be, but, apparently, they've been fighting him for an hour since Ben wasn't there. 

And, reasonably, you might think, 'oh, how insensitive of him to forget.' 

What makes him seem like the bad guy is the fact that he does not seem very apologetic when he does arrive. The reality is that he was not there to see Gwen and Kevin having an usually hard time fighting Ssperpent in the first place, and probably assumed that they were capable enough to do so, or at least hold him off until Ben did get there. 

But the fact that Gwen and Kevin are mostly mad at him for not showing up earlier proves that they need him. They need him to ultimately solve the problem because they know he is most capable of that. Seemingly more so than either Gwen or Kevin. Even if this is slightly strange considering both of them have gone through their own battles and won, if Ben is just that good at problem solving...should he not have good reason to be proud of himself?

That is exactly how he stopped the Highbreed invasion. He didn't “win.” Nobody “won” that war. Ben only stopped the Invasion by solving their problem in a creative way and therefore saving everyone’s lives.

Why is Ben "obnoxious" when he is no longer suffering as much as before, and when he has a good reason to be happy now? 

Granted, perhaps it is slightly premature since other threats will be coming up in his near future, so he shouldn't get too comfortable. But, the most important motivating factor behind Ben’s choice of actions and perception of his hero duty in the previous two seasons was his Grandpa Max’s disappearance. Now, he has Max back and that is no longer emotionally weighing him down. 

But even though forgetting to do something is not a good thing to do, showing up late to a mission unintentionally is not a big deal in comparison to the way some other characters are portrayed throughout this season. Everyone harps on about how terrible they think Ben is, however, whether you like it or not, Ben’s point of view can be explained.

Multiple times in this season, Kevin actually seems to stray from the motivation he had to help Ben in the first two seasons. 

Coercing the team into hacking the Omnitrix...

Blaming Gwen for not helping him when it all backfired and hit him the hardest...

Having an increased interest in sneaking petty crime in wherever he could...

I am not saying that he has regressed, because I have no interest in jumping to conclusions such as those everyone seems to have concluded about Ben. But, these things are just never spoken about even though they happened. 

In the beginning, it was Kevin's idea to hack the Omnitrix. Ben agreed to do it as well, but Kevin had all the necessary equipment ready. He got hit the hardest by it as a cause of his own bad suggestion. Some have made the argument that it was Ben's fault because it was his Omnitrix. 

But...who put him in that position? 

By doing what Kevin thought was “helping”, he was actually setting them all up for this catastrophe to happen. He brought them to the garage, he set up the machines and devices, he hooked Ben up to it, and then it overloaded. He caused this mess for himself. 

“Con of Rath” 

Ben: "Don’t worry, Ambassador. We’ll get the Tiffin to his destination.You have the word of Ben Tennyson"  

Gwen: You’re talking about yourself in the third person now? 

Gwen has a problem with the fact that Ben is talking about himself in the third person. But, Ben, being in such a position of authority where these aliens trust him enough to put their baby's life and safety into his hands is saying a whole lot about how the Galaxy sees him now. He has to reassure them that he will, without a doubt, be able to do what they expect of him. 

You could look at this as "arrogant", but you could more so look at this as Ben living up too his responsibilities and the Galaxy's expectations of him. The Galaxy treats him like this now out of both gratitude and a realization of what this boy is capable of. 

Would it be unreasonable to assume that some may even fear this over powered human? Individuals such as Vilgax are well known throughout the Galaxy because of how capable and powerful they are. Vilgax even attempted to connect that and compare himself to Ben in Ultimate Alien’s "The Ultimate Enemy." But Ben has defeated Vilgax multiple times at this point. Ben is arguably even more powerful than “the conqueror of ten worlds.”

So, in order for these aliens to not fear him as well, wouldn't he want to reassure them that he is here to use his powers to help them rather than enslave and destroy them? 

Ben also ends up stuck as Rath the entire episode, which works both for and against them while they pursue their mission. It leads Kevin to this conclusion:

Kevin: “I'm almost starting to appreciate the old Ben.” 

“Ghost Town”

According to Gwen, it was stupid of Ben to jump in front of Vilgax, allowing Ghostfreak to possess him, which then would lead to Ghostfreak being out of Ben's control. Does that not imply that he didn't know what was happening outside his body since he was possessed? 

And because Ben is no longer in control like he expected to be, Ghostfreak takes that chance to try to kill everyone. This was not Ben’s doing. Even if Ben and Ghostreak were not morphed into one, Ghostfreak would most likely try to do the same thing.

Even aside from the indication that he could not have known what was going on around him, what if Ben got killed during this series of events?

Ghostfreak and Ben, two of Vilgax’s enemies, are now morphed into one. He has the chance to take them both down. And that is what he tries to do. 

Previously, Vilgax even asked to use the Omnitrix on his own to save his planet, which obviously Ben wouldn't agree to. Therefore, it seemed there wasn't much else he could do aside from reabsorbing Ghostfreak in the Omnitrix because then he wouldn't be free to cause harm to others. 

Contrary to popular belief, there are moments in Season 3 of Alien Force where Ben was still “mature”:

“Simple”

Ben gave up his three day weekend to voluntarily, and with a good attitude, travel to another planet just to try to solve their problems for them. It was his intention that counted in this episode, and it also portrays how willing he is to live up to the expectations everyone has for him. A little girl asked him to stop their war, and he didn't have a singe doubt that he could it. 

His motivation was good. His outlook was fuelled by his new found confidence. These are good traits for a hero to have. 

Kevin, on the other hand, had done something less than heroic while Ben was actively trying to get the War leaders to come to an understanding. 

Gwen: “You’re making money off of other people’s misery? I thought you were here to help Ben.”  

Rather helping Ben find a way to get the War leaders cooperate and stop fighting, he and Argit (who was conveniently on that planet as well) begin to repaint the soldier’s weapons and resell them, encouraging them to keep fighting.

I realize that this may have been because he wasn't in a very good financial situation a this point and still partially relied on this type of business to get by, but is that any excuse to be so indifferent to other people’s problems because they are not your own, and therefore do not affect you directly? 

Kevin’s character had shifted a bit in this arc as well, and, similarly to Ben, it had been as a cause of a traumatic event which occurred to him. Namely, the one in “Vengeance of Vilgax.” 

Being deeply affected by a traumatic experience with lasting psychological, and in Kevin’s case, temporally physical effects, causes one’s character and actions to be affected as well. This can mean for better and for worse. 

“In charm’s Way”

Kevin: Where's Gwen?”

Ben: “Went home. You hurt her pretty bad.”

Kevin: “I hurt her? I'm the one who looks like this, and she hasn't done a thing about it.”

Ben: “You are a giant, rock-faced jerk!”

Kevin: “Yeah, whatever.”

Ben: “Not "whatever. " She's spending every spare moment going through every magic book she can find to try and help you. She's been doing it since the accident.”

Kevin: “She never told me.”

Ben: “Should she have had to?”

In the end, everyone is capable of doing better and worse. However, this depends on having context in order to come to a logical understanding of where those choice of actions stems from. It does not excuse a bad behaviour, but it does shed light on the factors which have caused it to exist in the first place, and therefore can potentially prevent it in the future. Such as Omniverse Ben correcting his own thinking in “Malfactor” because of what he has learned from his past experiences. 

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.10 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Jughead deadass tried to make us think that Archie was dead when we knew for a FACT that he wasn’t. What a dick lol

- FRED SEEING ARCHIE AGAIN. MY HEART.

- So… it took you being attacked by a fucking bear… to realize that you should have come home/stayed home because Hiram is a crazy, whiny ass piss baby? You literally lost your girlfriend for that but great job you’re the last one to know baby

- VERONICA SEEING ARCHIE AWWWW MY POOR BABIES

- The fact that Archie thinks that he wouldn’t get recognized without red hair… lmao dude sometimes, somehow, red hair looks like brown (some variations of it, anyways, I’ve noticed) so your “disguise” is shit but we still love you baby

- Why would Archie think that Veronica would never want to talk to him? Just because he broke her heart doesn’t mean she doesn’t still care for him, or a part of her loves him. Probably this “new, darker” Archie that no one wanted. Literally the writers need to leave Archie alone he’s so precious and innocent and that’s why we loved him! Hopefully when we slowly get him back to normal he can bring Betty with him and make her realize what she needs in her life/love life and finally the show can rise to a slightly better show.

- I don’t like that Varchie have sex because of Reggie but for everyone hating on her… fuck OFF man she’s currently SINGLE so she can fuck who she wants… I just feel bad for Reggie bc my poor boy is going to have to watch Veronica make this hard decision of who she wants to be with and ultimately it may hurt him. And I don’t want that. But I don’t write the show so yanno what the fuck can I do?

- He got a root beer float so signify that he’s not the same Archie anymore (I’m guessing) uhhh alright sure

- “New vacant look in your eyes…” Jesus fucking Christ Jughead can you ever be considerate, like, ever? At least Betty is showing she truly cares about her future husband (because we KNOW they are endgame okay we KNOW THIS) 

- SO NOW THAT HE’S GONE THE SERPENTS ARE HELPING HIM? DUDE IF YOU WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED SERPENT PROTECTION BEFORE HE WOULD NEVER HAVE HAD TO LEAVE. I mean sure we needed to see a change to dark Archie (why the fuck was it a bear attack that did it though? A dream would have simply sufficed but sure) but wow you guys are horrible at plans if you come up with them wayyyyy too late

- I’m still mad at Jughead for sending Fangs deep undercover and risking his life to get his spot in the Serpents back. It’s clear that Jugrat has wanted to find someone to send in, but was too much of a whiny piss baby to ask, so he waited until he could pretty much blackmail/emotionally manipulate one of the Serpents and so he chose Fangs. (Also he did Choni wrong and Jugrat is dead to me until he finds some sense and ultimately ends up with Veronica)

- Can’t wait to see how much chemistry Archie and Betty have that Betty and Jugrat don’t

- I hate Betty but I feel bad for her about what her mom did. She’s so fucking mind washed and it hurts because the Alice we all know and love would NEVER do this shit.

- DADS OF RIVERDALE COMING TO INTIMIDATE HIRAM YES BITCH!!! FRED SAYING HE’D KILL HIRAM YES BITCH FP JONES NOT TAKING CONTROL/TAKING OVER FRED’S MOMENT YES BITCH

- Archie has to repeat Junior year? I mean it makes sense but I know the fear of not being able to graduate with friends… god lEAVE ARCHIE ALONE DAMMIT HE’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

- REGGIE’S BIG ASS HAPPY ASS SMILE WHEN HE’S WALKING TOWARDS VERONICA I’M— HE’S SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH HER MY HEART!!! He cares so much, she didn’t text him (because she was with Archie 😬😬😬) BUT HER PUSHING HIM AWAY MAKES ME SAD. I mean I know WHY it just HURTS

- “I get it, Archie’s back. Enough said” REGGIE FUCKING GULPED DOWN HIS EMOTIONS I’M SO SAD HE DESERVES THE WORLD.

- But also realizing that Reggie and Veronica were openly affectionate at school means that Betty and Jughead know? And they DIDN’T rat on her to Archie the second he came back? Mmhm ooc but thank GOD

- Oh yeah deadass forgot “Claudius” was a thing like he hasn’t been here for fucking years lmao

- See, this Hiram, the forceful “this is not a request” Hiram would have been a MUCH better villain than “I’m torturing this boy just for kicks” but wbk the Riverdale writers are on crack and can’t see/make a good storyline.

- We know FP becomes Sheriff which I guess will be good against Hiram and for the Serpent’s CRIMINAL ACTIVITY (fuck you Jugrat for not knowing how a GANG works you fucking idiot) but let me ask this… why the flying fuck aren’t they just giving SHERIFF Keller his job back? Like we know he knows how to be a fucking Sheriff so why are they going through the trouble of finding another one? Like what the fuck guys it’s NOT THAT HARD

- I wanted BARCHIE to study but BARCHIE AND JUGHEAD but I guess I’ll take what I can get

- FANGS MY BABY BOY. Thank God Barchie can be alone ❤️❤️❤️

- So because I don’t care about spoilers I already know who the Gargoyle King is (which I’ll rant about when it gets to that point) BUT IF HE KNOWS FANGS WHY DOES HE TRY TO FUCKING RECUIT HIM INTO HIS INNER CIRCLE LMAO *ps my baby Fangs looks so scared! If Jughead fucks this up and gets Fangs hurt I’m sacrificing him to Hiram myself

- “There he is” BITCH YOU CAN’T TELL ME BETTY IS SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH ARCHIE LIKE WE NEVER SEE HIS THIS TRULY HAPPY!!!

- AWWW A WELCOME HOME/STUDY PARTY. Poor Reggie having to hear Veronica call him lover… but the angst… I’m here for it

- VERONICA SINGING IN SPANISH BITCHHH FUCK ME UP SHE SOUNDS SO FUCKING GOOD! But being able to see Reggie behind Archie reacting to Varchie is so angsty and incredible

- Archie having an anxiety attack my poor child LEAVE HIM ALONE JESUS CHRIST WRITERS

- See, this mind game shit that Hal does to Betty is where they should have gone. I mean, only that not the sudden ass black hood shit. THIS is a good villain. But they ruined it before it even began.

- Both Veronica and Reggie have a point. He’s different, but Reggie sweetie you gotta realize that he’s going through a tough time right now? I just know the writers are going to manage to fuck this up. God can’t they do ANYTHING right

- “You got some pretty big coconuts” ummmm what the fuck I didn’t realize Reggie was Cheryl… But again having Reggie get mad at Archie for having an anxiety attack is ooc and NOT THE FUCK IT Literally it pisses me the fuck off that they’re doing this to Reggie like sure he can be jealous but this is over the top and NOT IT THANK YOU NEXT

- “Hiram… no.” BITCH YES HERMIONE! Also I didn’t realize she had to appoint a sheriff but that still doesn’t answer my question as to WHY NOT SHERIFF KELLER? But the fact that she chooses FP is such a fucking “fuck you” to his Lodge saying last episode that I’m not going to search out lol.

- Hal being the OG Gargoyle King… wow… they really can only use characters they can make us hate, huh? But if he killed back then, why was he “normal” up until Betty’s stupid, somehow inspiring speech? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE RIVERDALE WRITERS BUT I’M NOT SURPRISED

- Alice comes in every Monday? SHE WOULD NEVER. I mean of course rn she’s not in her right mind but he literally almost killed her? We know Polly was trying to get Alice and Betty to forgive him bc of her time with the Farm but come the fuck on why would Edgar want his “star recruiter and source of money” to visit her killer ex-husband

- I love how Fangs is getting more screen time but it’s scaring me because he’s not Betty or Jughead… and also what about his bEST FRIEND SWEET PEA. But Fangs looks so scared my baby!!! If anything happens to him… well you probably read what I’d do to Jughead

-What kind of fucking twig costume is that lmao and how is he making that weird growling sound (and why)

- SO FP AND JUGHEAD ARE HERE BUT WHAT ABOUT SWEET PEA WE KNOW HE’D BE HERE TO PROTECT HIS BOYFRIEND BEST FRIEND. Also we are NOT allowing another kid to be branded. We just aren’t.

- oh nvm he is here lmaoooo it’s okay I’m good now

- LMAO EVERYONE SCATTERS BUT THEY LEAVE THEIR KING AHAHAHAHA WHAT LOYALTY I’M QUAKING

- So didn’t we LITERALLY see Tall Boy die? I could have swore… or is this some mandella effect kind of shit

- So Jugrat what happened to “no crime” yet you kidnap a man and beat the shit out of him… so if he’s breaking his own rules lets kick him out YES LET’S DO IT But wow Jughead is so weak he can’t handle anyone calling Betty a bitch… even though she is…

- SO JUGHEAD GETS TO PUNCH HIM FOR CALLING BETTY A BITCH, RIGHTFULLY SO, BUT HE STOPS SWANGS FROM GOING OFF FOR KILLING THEIR FRIEND AND MOST DEFINITELY FANGS’ EX BOYFRIEND? Does Jughead deserve rights? let’s not discuss because that’s a BIG FUCKING NO

- REGGIE ON A DATING SITE MY BABYYYYYY he passed by all those girls bc he loves Veronica just saying :)

- First of all… Archie no sweetie you can’t cheat on your SAT’s… and Reggie just fucking spilled the truth oops

- NO JUGHEAD YOU CAN’T SACRIFICE YOUR “BEST FRIEND” but of course it’s going to happen…

- Did Betty just call Penelope “auntie” ummm no. Also Penelope gets screen time but Choni isn’t here to take their SAT’s? That is HoMoPhObIc

- “Are you one of those sickos who fantasize about serial killers?” Betty… your stupid ass does realize you’re basically talking about yourself, right? I mean obviously not in a romantic way that you’re insinuating but that’s still who you are. You and Jughead get your rocks off to serial killers and trying to solve them even though you’re shit at being detectives… but I’m all for going after Penelope so whatever

- Oh jk so it wasn’t Hal… damn my rantings about it are now void thanks Riverdale lol

- It’s funny how Betty never realizes these kinds of things despite how “great” she is at being a detective. She never gets anything until she’s told about it and that’s so fucking annoying. if you’re going to shove Betty (and Bughead) down our throats AT LEAST make her good at it

- “Because I will never be coming back here again” lmao we know Betty is going to come back like next scene lolol but alright

- RONNIE CRYING IN HIS BED MY POOR BABY

- It’s a good thing they didn’t ruin Archie by having him angry at Veronica. By him asking her to stay with him, we been knew that Veronica is one of his weaknesses. ALSO VARCHIE SEX MY BABIES.

- Am I just blind when tf did Archie get that cut above his eyebrow lol. Also he’s literally me taking a test aha

- “Why do you think I sent him instead of going by myself?” BECAUSE YOU’RE A COWARDLY CUNT THAT’S WHY

- Oh poor Hiram got shot… oh no… so sad… But if they think they’re making us believe he’ll die… we’ve literally seen him on set recently so this bitch ass of course will survive. Honestly just kill off who you’re going to kill off already and get it over with. I want to know if it’s worth it to watch the rest of this season!!!

- They’re really going to regress and make Veronica act ooc by thinking that Archie would actually try to kill Hiram… what shit heads. We know he’s going dark and wants Hiram dead but he would never ACTUALLY do it because he cares too much about Veronica. But also I know that’s her father but after everything he’s done why does she care that he got shot? I mean that’s like Betty watching her dad die… she wouldn’t care. But then again Betty is a mean bitch so her heart is darker lol

- SWANGS FREAKING OUT OVER ACCIDENTALLY KILLING TALL BOY AWWWW BABIES! But also does this mean Swangs didn’t take the SAT because Jughead made them babysit Tall Boy? I mean it makes sense bc Tall Boy would escape otherwise but my Serpent babies deserve a chance to get out of Riverdale. I’d want SP to become a doctor and yes slightly bc of his role in Hospital Show

— Imagine Sweet Pea becoming a doctor, and flipping off every person who told him he was just some lowly south side scum, and telling them he made it as a fucking doctor like come on I need this, he needs this

- Jughead doesn’t know what to do mmhmmmm great leaders need to be able to think quickly

- “Fangs sobbing” hey subtitles… STOP

- Fangs says “okay” as if “we’re gonna throw a party” makes absolute sense. What the… fuck? Also I LOVE my boys we know this but they KILL Tall Boy and Jughead’s okay with it but Choni steals an egg from his enemy and he kicks them out like a whiny bitch? Jughead is homophobic and we know he only kicked Choni out bc they could easily take over his Serpent King title lmao what a fucking loser, Jughead

- “Veronica and I broke up” um you broke up awhile ago just bc you had sex doesn’t mean you guys got together again but alright

- So speaking of Archie being on the run and breaking out of jail… why is he able to come back as if that didn’t happen? Wouldn’t they have a warrant out for him?

- SEE BETTY VISITED HER FATHER AGAIN.

- REGGIE COMING IN WITH A “CONGRATS IT’S A BOY” BALLOONS. HE REALLY LOVES HER SO MUCH HE JUST WANTED TO GET HER FLOWERS AND SHIT AND HE WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION I’M—

- Sweet Pea’s “woo” do I need to say more

- So now it’s canon that my boys drink alcohol but I’m definitely going to say it’s only for celebrations and shit okay? okay

- FP why the fuck would you scare them like that? Like, they get arrested for literally nothing and you roll up like a bitch… that was cruel

- Poor Fangs he’s so fucking scared… he can’t even be happy that he’s a part of the Serpents again (but ofc Choni doesn’t? Jughead you’re so fucking—)

- No… no you’re going to make Archie a fucking alcoholic? Really? Fuck Riverdale lives

- “It looks like a cell in here” FRED WHY WOULD YOU POINT THAT OUT TO ME NOW I’M SAD

[katastrophycal]

Sooo Crimes of grindlewald got me SHOOK. SPOILERS!!

Mkay so... this movie has problems, don't get me wrong, but hoooooo boy did I like it.

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Support. J.K. Rowling. But I am also not going to let that color my view of my favorite series. I know its difficult to understand but most people go to movies because they want to escape reality. I understand if you cannot do that, but please don't try to force your opinions on someone who can. So please just keep in mind that I went in to this movie to see a world that I had fallen in love with. Not to see a screenplay by JK

So...

Yes. Johnny Depp is not a good person. But you look at how he played Grindlewald and it was perfectly done. How he manipulated everything and everyone around him honestly terrifying and I can completely see why he drew so many wizards to his cause. I'm not gonna say that the fact Depp is not a good person contributed to that but it definitely allowed the persona to be accepted. Also HUGE magic is might feels from that speech and HUGE parallels with the child in the house, and that really showed the difference between Grindlewald and Voldemort. Voldemort did actions himself then learned to delegate. Grindlewald is a master of moving pawns and I cant wait to see him fight for himself.

Dumbledore. Jude Law is the man. I have some problems with him in his Sherlock esq suit when he should be in wizarding robes but over all, terrific performance. I really felt how he planned everything from behind scenes and the blood pact really sealed the deal for me with Grindlewald. He physically could not go after him and I can't wait to see when they break it if he will continue to hold back or if we will immediately rise up. And I know its terrible but I can very clearly see why Grindledore is a ship. I really(against my better judgement)hope that when they interact more we'll get more of a whole what could have been rant and an "I lovED you"

Newt. Sweet Newt. Continues to be an absolute gem, and he and Tina are giving me feels that I never got in HP. I really appreciate the flashbacks, him being so comfortable when he's with his creatures. I really hope his and Thesus' relationship will develop more later.

So one of my real disappointments is that I feel like Tina was kind of... I don't know smaller in this movie? All she really got was the tension with Newt(don't get me wrong I loved that) and she's just looking for Creedence but once they find him She? Just? Does? Nothing? And I reeeeally missed her interacting with Queenie.

Queenie... I get why she did it. She felt betrayed and alienated and she felt like she could solve her and Jacob's problems by following Grindlewald. It broke my heart to see her walk away from Jacob, but I really hope its Tina that brings her back to the good

Jacob is honestly me when it comes to everything. I understand why he continues to love Queenie even though she enchanted him. He didn't want to get married because wanted to protect her but she didn't want to be protected she just wanted him and I can really identify with that. I continue to love how Jacob just accepts everything from Newt to Flamel and I loved every bit of him trying to be Newt's wingman

Creedence continues to have my support, all he wants is to have a life but he's stuck on the idea that you have to know where you came from to know where you're going. Do I think he's a Dumbledore? No. My best theory is that he's Arianna's obscurus(?)

I NEVER in my life thought I would feel bad for a Lestrange. Ever since we found out Bellatrix tortured Neville's parents I hated her. When she tortured Hermione she terrified me. I cheered when she died in Prt 2. Yet Leta Lestrange.... I went in thinking I would hate her not just for her last name but because of how we also assume she did to Newt. I have pulled a complete 180. From the moments from Hogwarts, past and future I thought she would at least be an okay character. Then there was Thesus Fighting to get to her, the tears rolling down her face when she talks about what happened to Corbus... I just died... if you ever need a good Slytherin role model....

Thesus reminded me allot of Percy. Except more supportive?ish? I liked that he didn't blindly follow his orders and even though he and Newt don't get along he still helps and protects him. I could see the love on his part for Leta and I hope he doesn't let her ambiguous ily at the end get between him and Newt.

Nagini. I stan. So everyone freaking out that she's a poc playing a character who becomes a pet for an allegorical white surpremist I want you to think on this: 1) we're told she is from Indonesia so unless this is a lie(which is possible) this mean that the character would be a poc 2)imagine... Nagini, a woman who had already been imprisoned ,1st by the circus, then by her curse, becomes trapped in her form of a snake. An animal that Voldemort is famous for controlling. So imagine Nagini, after (hopefully) fighting so hard against Grindlewald, being trapped against her will in a body that is used to do terrible things and eventually becoming a literal Horcrux. That is the definition of tragic...

There were less new creatures in this one but the ones we got were so beautiful. The Kelpie in particular. The baby Nifflers had me getting my drink up my nose from laughing so hard. And I think Momma Niffler has just started Grindlewald's fall, just like Kreacher(and Reagulus) with Voldemort

Now all of this is my opinion. I am a little biased when I say that everyone complaining about plot holes needs to chill. Yes, Dumbledore was a transfiguration teacher in the books. Maybe he was subbing?(Snape for Lupin). Yes, Mcgonagall wasn't born yet. Maybe that was her mom, who looks d enough to have children in the 2 SECONDS we see her? Yes, throwing the whole lost Dumbledore thing in the last 10 minutes was a total con. But you bet your ass I'm gonna be trying to solve that one till 2020

I am also not really a plot person, I believe if the characters are interesting the plot kinda comes 2nd, even so I see a lot of people talking about how the plot is confusing and too jumpy and convoluted. And yeah it kinda was... but So Was The Last Jedi. So Was Infinity War. If we didn't have 10 years of marvel movies before IW then all of those storylines would have seemed insane. And yes we did have 10 years of HP but again, this is not HP. The first time we hear of these Characters was Fantastic Beasts(in movies that is, we hear Newt from a spinoff textbook).

Do I wish the Character's had been more flushed out? Hell yes. Particularly Nagini, Leta, and Thesus. But there are going to be 3 more movies(hopefully). If we give up after the 2nd movie were definitely not gonna get that explanation for them. So please, keep that in mind

All in all I really loved this movie. I have so many questions and definitely want to see it a couple more times, and I cannot wait for the next one

Feel free to come talk to me about this! Please!!

[wrckhvck]

         In PORTLAND, ME I found JAX COYNE, a child with the ability of BLOOD MANIPULATION. At first HE came off as IMPETUOUS but they also seemed GREGARIOUS. I was unable to procure the child, as an adult, they should resemble GRANT GUSTIN.  ( c, she/her )

hey hi hello everyone!  i thought my rping days were behind me but i loved TUA and decided to give this a go.  we’ll see how it works out shshshss.  i love yelling about riverdale ( so bad its kinda good ), shadowhunters, broadway, and love cats more than people and i’m super hyped to be here.  for a little more about jax, you can keep reading ~   also this is important !!! there are a lot of trigger warnings re: his past / life so i’m going to list them all here instead of in the tags at the bottom. you have been warned.   

           trigger warnings:  minor child abuse, child abandonment, domestic violence, negative self-talk, lack of self-esteem, suicidal ideation, self harm, self mutilation in the name of science, lack of self-worth, lack of self-preservation, unintentional suicide attempts, warped self image, bloodplay(ish), mentions of violence / self-violence.

        TLDR:  jax has a fucked up sense of self and likes to experiment on himself. proceed with caution i guess ???  

&. basics

full name: jackson ‘jax’ edward coyne

nicknames: jax, jaxxy, jack

age: 29

sexuality: pansexual

relationship status: single

date of birth: october 1

place of birth:  portland, me

gender & species: cismale, enhanced humanoid(?)

current location: unknown.

&. more basic info

languages: english, spanish, french. 

religion: n/a - he’s an atheist. 

education: BS degree in human biology concentration from the university of southern maine & MD from uConn school of medicine. 3 years studying to be a forensic scientist and now completing a one year residency/fellowship before getting board certified. 

occupation: forensic pathologist

drinks, smokes, & drugs: yes, no, yes.

&. personality

zodiac sign: ( references: one, two ) libra

mbti: ( reference link ) istj

likes:  emo music, pasta dishes, cats, supernatural (tv), black nail polish, coffee, true crime podcasts, greek yoghurt. 

dislikes:  socialization, herbal tea, vaping, people who don’t use their turn signals when driving, one way streets, mustard, taylor swift music, and reality tv.  

bad habits: bites his nails, picks scabs when you’re not supposed to, obsesses over getting song lyrics right, poor posture, obsessing over things that can’t be changed. 

secret talent: tattooing. he’s not licensed to do any work on anyone else, but he’s done a lot of the work on his sleeves himself.  he had his in love and death tattoo done when he was 16 and he’s been addicted ever since.  he was too broke to be able to afford constant work so he had to learn how to do it himself with a lot of trial and error.  

hobbies: listening to true crime podcasts, research, drawing/sketching, watching wrestling, boxing, studying, etc.  

fears: isolation, decision making, the future, responsibility, the truth about his origins. 

five positive traits: determined, altruistic, loyal, competitive & vulnerable

five negative traits: impetuous, cowardly, stubborn, blunt, & prone to self-harm in the name of science. 

other mentionable details:   jax has done some Questionable Shit TM in the name of science.  as he can control / manipulate blood, he’s frequently injured himself to test the extent of his abilities.  he’s also caused some health issues by increasing his blood pressure / fucking with the way blood is supposed to work that has landed him in the hospital a few times.  he’s also tried playing operation with himself and has been studying his genetics obsessively to try to figure what the hell is he / who he is.  he grew up thinking he was a monster (bc thats what they told him he was) so he sometimes considers himself more of a science experiment than a person.  

&. appearance

tattoos: he has full sleeves up and down his arms.  i can’t really find anything that suits it but i think the left side would be venom / symbiotes and  maybe some nightmare before christmas elements??? idk.  the other one would be like a graveyard kind of theme with like tombstones, skulls, some wild looking shapes and black roses..  he also has the album artwork from in love and death by the used on the side of his ribcage (x)   he also has the tattoo from supernatural (x) bc he’s a fucking dork and its his favorite show. 

piercings: nipple, septum, tongue. 

faceclaim: grant gustin.

&. family information

parent names:  helen & n/a. 

parent relationship:  he doesn’t have a relationship with his parents.  his mother gave birth to him at 17 - after having  not been pregnant until she went into labor - and always considered him an abomination. helen’s boyfriend broke up with her thinking she’d been unfaithful and wouldn’t believe that she hadn’t broken their agreement. they’d been saving themselves for marriage and were planning to get married the summer after they graduated.  betrayed by her love and judged by her extremely conservative, religious, family, helen found herself looking for love in all of the wrong places.  this love was never shared with her son.  when she abandoned him at a local orphanage, he was only 5 years old.  he never saw her again. 

sibling names:  n/a.  he doesn’t consider himself having any siblings. he bounced out of foster home after foster home and never made any lasting connections. 

sibling relationship: n/a

other relevant relative: none. he had a maternal uncle but he passed away when he was a baby. he never knew him. 

children: n/a

significant other / spouse: n/a

pets: he has a pet snaked named anguis. it means snake in latin. he thinks he’s clever. he’s not. sdkjgsds. 

&. biography

        it was a blustery october day when helen coyne doubled over in the park across the street from her house. she was meeting her boyfriend, edward lovington, and they had plans to get milkshakes and go to the movies.  instead she was rushed to the hospital under suspicion of a burst appendix, only to give birth to a healthy baby boy some minutes later.   this phenomenon would later be known to be the moment that 43 women around the world delivered babies without ever having been pregnant.  each child would have abilities beyond comprehension and some would go on to become students at the umbrella academy.  jax would not enjoy such a fate. 

      helen’s parents were extremely religious.  she and her boyfriend had pledged their chastity under the belief that they would be married come the summer and he believed her to have broken that vow.  he ended things with her and her family turned their backs on her.  only her brother kept in contact, allowing her and the baby to move into his guest house until they could get back onto their feet.  he was named jackson edward, after his maternal grandfather and his mother’s former love.  jax never met either man but had heard the story from his mother as he grew up.  to this day he doesn’t know why helen decided to keep him; why he wasn’t given up for adoption as a baby, or abandoned at the hospital on the day he was born. 

     desperate for love and looking in the wrong places, helen suffered a string of abusive and controlling men.  it was a circle of abuse that she seemed caught in, believing to her core that she deserved it because god had punished her.  this continued until jax was five, when her latest boyfriend scratched her face.  the cuts welled up - the first time a boyfriend had drawn blood in jax’s presence - but to everyone’s dismay, the wound coagulated and the blood disappeared, back where it came from.  her boyfriend would have killed them both - afraid of what he’d seen when jax yelled at him to stop - but his eyes ran red as the blood inside his body boiled and cooked him from the inside out.  the sound of his body hitting the floor was drowned out by helen’s screams.  jax was abandoned at a local orphanage days later, his mother unable to look at him as she believed he was a monster.  

        maine isn’t a big city.  the area they were in was extremely small, so whispers of what had happened to helen’s boyfriend ran rampant.  jax was branded a freak, kept in isolation at the orphanage in fear of what he’d do to the other children.  he didn’t understand his powers yet and believed what his mother said was true; that he was a monster and that he deserved whatever happened to him as a consequence of it.  he withdrew into himself and was selectively mute until his teen years, bouncing from foster home to foster home as he grew.   it was only when he was 13, now exploring his powers with a morbid curiosity he would later attribute to scientific hypothesis, that he started speaking again.  

     jax grew up very isolated and socially awkward.  he doesn’t always know how to talk to people or how to appropriately react in certain situations.  he’s very morbid, has a dark sense of humor, and has a lot of questionable interests.  his music taste is skewed towards screamo / emo music and heavy metal.  he prefers horror movies to essentially every other genre and spends hours listening to true crime podcasts and lives on CSI / Criminal Minds / SVU etc.  his favorite bands are my chemical romance, the used, saosin, underoath, black veil  brides, and disturbed. 

       academically, jax is kind of a genius.  he didn’t really have friends so he spent a lot of time studying.  he finds biology interesting because his own biology fascinates him.  he can control blood; can make it coagulate, raise his own blood pressure, and even create it from his own cells.  it doesn’t make sense.  it doesn’t fit into what he knows about the human condition and that fascinates him.  experimenting on himself has become second nature and he covered up the majority of the scarring with tattoos.  the only friend he ever had showed him how to do some of it himself as a teenager and he’s kept up with the hobby - buying cheap supplies online or cutting corners to keep up with the artwork decorating his body. 

     with two degrees under his bet, jax is swimming in debt.  honestly his checking account is a terrifying place to live.  he’s been low-key indulging in credit card scams for years to keep his head above water.  he has a ledger where he’s written down every card, every loan, and every payment he needs to pay back. it’s locked in a safe so no one can ever find it.  as a forensic pathologist he’ll make good money and hopefully be able to pay it all back before the cops come knocking down his door. 

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s04e03 Minimal Loss review - or more aptly named, holy shit that’s Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210!!!!! He’s so hot!

Episode 03 – Minimal Loss

Hello everyone! What’s up? So this season is proving to be tense as hell, and I’m not sure how I’m gonna respond to that.

I just hope it’s interspersed well enough by humor.

Let’s see what happens.

Wait. Hold up. Did they just say that there are women, children and fucking FBI agents inside that building, and did that building just go kaboom?

Why are they doing this to me?

Wow. Why is that 911 caller sound like she’s a rapist or something? I mean, I know she isn’t, okay? I get she’s afraid of the unsub, but seriously. That was beyond creepy.

3 days earlier …

POODLE

“Savages, they call us. ‘Cause our manners differ from theirs.”

“We didn’t come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus.”

“Actually, it’s Benjamin Franklin.”

BOOM!

Got schooled by the poodle!

I KNEW HE LOOKED FAMILIAR!

LUKE PERRY!

WITH A MOUSTACHE!

AND A SOUTHERN ACCENT! HE’S SO FUCKING HOT! I LOVE YOU LUKE!

Sorry, big Dylan fan.

Wait. So they tell them that they received a call about a man having inappropriate relations with younger women and she immediately names Cyrus? Well, rootie tootie, we got ourselves a winner.

I’m not happy. I was hoping he’d be the good guy here.

Oh, wait, snap. That’s his wife. Okay. That’s nice.

Wait. She’s only fifteen? And her mother said it was okay? DAMN.

WAIT. Why is Cyrus leading his buddies with guns into the room? Why is he threatening my poodle and Emily?

So there’s a state police raid on the place. But the FBI didn’t know about it.

Oh boy.

Oh god, my poodle and Emily are now underground with those people and they’re all under siege. Fuck.

“I didn’t start this.”

YEAH RIGHT!

Oh god. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.

Benjamin Franklin: “To follow by faith alone is to follow blindly.” Why can’t we have more geniuses like Benny?

HOTCH!

FUCK!

Get cracking, dudes!

So the attorney general lied to the ATF because he’s challenging the governor in the next elections? Fuck you, Wells.

No one is allowed to steal my poodle and my Emily.

Just ask my yummycakes.

“Libertarians believe that everyone has the right to do what they want as long as they aren’t infringing on the rights of others.”

“But libertarians aren’t religious. Clearly this sect abandoned libertarian principles.”

Damn straight.

“Garcia, what do we got on Cyrus?”

“We got bubkiss. It’s like the guy never cast a shadow on the known universe.”

DAMN.

“Seventeen years for tax evasion?” sounds extreme.

“Oh, no. that would be two years for tax evasion and fifteen for going after four IRS agents with a Louisville slugger.” DAMN.

Oh my god, Luke talking to babies is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t care that he’s fifty-years-old right now. He’s the hottest thing out there, except for Shemar Moore and Matthew Gray Gubler.

Amazing. Aaron is distributing the command because he knows David is good at this and David’s like, bro, I’m emotionally involved and so are you, are you serious? And I’m like, guys, Emily and Spencer are inside, get your shit together and do whatever it takes.

“I’m the attorney general of this state. I demand to know why I wasn’t told that the FBI was sending undercover agents into the sectarian ranch.”

“The only thing that you’re in position to demand is a lawyer.”

Oh damn.

“I’m the guy who’s gonna tell the attorney general of the United States whether to charge you with obstructing a federal investigation or negligent homicide.”

WHOO! YOU GO HOTCH!

“Get off my crime scene.” DAMN.

We finally see Shemar’s handwriting. I love it!

But the situation is too serious for me to enjoy this.

Damnit.

Now I’m having all kinds of teacher!Derek fantasies. Fuck.

Oh god, they’re gonna just try and get as many people out. Fuck. Please tell me they’re gonna do something right here.

I HATE BENJAMIN CYRUS!

He’s calling and letting a baby say “You killed my mommy and daddy. Are you going to kill me too?” SERIOUSLY? YOU ARE EVIL, DUDE!

Seriously. No one should look this hot.

And I realize this was nine years ago, but still.

My baby is like, fuck, one died, but at least it’s not pretty boy or Prentiss.

Shit. Rossi is going on his own inside to confirm that everyone who matters is okay. Shit.

Yeah, take Morgan!

Oh, you wanna build trust? You wanna go in alone? Well, tough ta-tas.

So the child-bride is literally worshipping him? Oh boy.

“Trust in god with all your heart. Lean not on your own understandings. Trust in mine.”

Okay, I do so not like Ben anymore.

“We will be with him soon. We have drank the poison together.” WAIT WHAT?

“They’re committing mass suicide.”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“Rossi, he just said it.”

I get it, you want to protect the children and Prentiss and Reid, but he just said ‘we have drank the poison together’. COME ON!

“Cyrus just told them he did. I think he’s just bluffing.”

What? Why?

“Just after he told them about the poison, he waited for them to start to react. Then he nodded to Cole, and he started writing. Look.”

“They’re scanning the audience, looking for reactions.”

Oh thank god Rossi has his wits about him. But seriously, that was a dangerous call, dude.

Who the fuck is Charles Mulgrew?

Oh god, he was a model citizen after being in prison and he knows the law. Oh god.

“Good stuff.”

“Damn straight. Now get our friends back, baby.”

Oh honey!

SHIT! They just announced that Prentiss and Reid are FBI, and they listen to the news in there. Shit.

HEY! HEY! Don’t you dare point your gun at my baby poodle! NO!

Did Prentiss just put herself on the line for poodle? Oh, honey!

HEY! LEAVE PRENTISS ALONE!

God, and they need to listen to her being beaten up? Oh my god.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING THIS SEASON????

“She’s antagonizing him.”

“She’s not talking to him.”

“She’s talking to us. She’s telling us not to come in.”

Oh honey.

“Did you know she was FBI?”

“Nancy told me the woman was a child abuse interview expert from Denver. In four years I worked with her, Nancy never lied to me before.”

Oh poodle, you smart cookie.

“On the next call, you should test them. Test the negotiator. Make him prove that the isn’t a liar.” What are you doing, my genius?

Oh Reid, you amazing unicorn. You’ve gained their trust, and you’ve made sure they send out at least one kid as a negotiation.

Oh someone give this guy all the hugs and kisses in the world.

Oh my god, I can’t handle Shemar holding a kid. I love him too much!

(Um, this is gonna be a long one, too, I feel like there’s a motif here. Daniella? Am I right?)

I’m confused. Why all of a sudden he’s releasing all those people and negotiating to talk the next day? I’m really confused here.

“They had a chance to prove their faith when Cyrus told them that they’d sacrificed themselves for god. But instead they showed they weren’t worthy. That’s why he wants the media to bare witness to your true final act of sacrifice.”

Oh god.

“I’m always looking for signs of things to come.”

Oh my smart cupcake.

So now they’re planning an invasion at 3AM and trying to figure out how to tell Prentiss and Spencer.

GENIUS!

Shit. He’s planning a mass suicide.

Oh papa bear, I love you so much.

Oh god. I’m seriously pissed at the beginning of this season.

Shit. He’s gonna blow the whole place up.

Fuck.

“We’ve gotta get you out of here.”

Yup.

“No. We’ve gotta get Reid!”

Hell yes.

“Prentiss, I will get Reid.” Good puppy.

God that girl is completely nuts.

Shit. While trying to do the right thing, Derek effectively separated the mother from the insane kid. Oh god.

Why are they always sending him into the line of fire? They’re seriously just making me want to claw my heart out and just take a chisel to it.

“Jeremiah 29:11 – ‘I have you, declared the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to bring you hope and a future.’ Is blowing yourself up part of the prosperous future that God wants?” oh you smart poodle, you.

“You think you know the word better than I?” DO NOT POINT THAT GUN AT MY POODLE!

“No. I’m just demonstrating that you can use the Bible to manipulate anything.”

“Matthew 10:24 – ‘Do not suppose that I’ve come to the earth to bring peace. I did not come to bring peace but a sword’.” oh god.

Did he just harm my poodle????? FUCK YOU!

“No one had to follow. God could have just stopped me.”

“He just did.” BOOM! Schooled.

Oh god! JESSICA!!! WHY????

So Emily and Dave are okay. Good.

OH THANK GOODNESS!

Why the fuck is this show doing to me????

Daniella, this is directed to you, you told me this was gonna be funny L it’s not.

I need my poodle hugs, too.

Ayn Rand: “Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it.”

Well, that explains the idiots I have to attend to at my job.

“I need you to listen to me. What Cyrus did to me is not your fault.”

“It was my decision, and I would do it again. Do you hear me?”

I LOVE FACE ACTING!

 Okay, so this episode just had me all over the place emotionally because I love Emily and I love Reid, yet I also really love Luke Perry, and I really hate them for doing this to me. And those guys are assholes to the bone, but it was also amazing. And I love this show so freaking much that I’m literally having keyboard diarrhea and I can’t stop praising this episode even though it was awful on me.

So, I’m really looking forward to what this season has in store. It’s one episode more than what we’ve had in seasons two and three, so I’m excited.

I’ll see you all next time!

<3 love you all

And of course, the Derek and Spencer pics that didn’t make it to the post above:

[authenticparanoidghosts]

okay, bc @dr-doc-phd asked, Diamond is Unbreakable but it’s BnHA, also titled “will I ever learn how to chill out”

(this is a LONG GODDAMN POST I’m sorry everyone)

first order of business: quirks vs stands

stands are essentially gonna be converted into quirks bc I Do Not want to take the time to come up with all new powers for everyone, they’re going to be called quirks, there are no punching ghosts (possible exception of Star Platinum, I haven’t decided on him yet)

Josuke: same as usual, he can fix anything he’s touching. he developed his quirk at a really early age and and it seems to be directly derived from Tomoko’s power (she can temporarily stick items together) but it’s way more powerful 

bc quirks have a genetic component, the fact that his is so similar to his mom’s offers him no insight on who his father might be

Josuke is not really bothered by this

Koichi: essentially has the same power as Echoes ACT1-2, by writing manga sound effects on objects/people and activating them through touch, he causes either the sound to be heard or an effect related to the sound to take place (these effects get stronger as he trains more and more with his quirk). due to Keicho’s actions, he develops a second quirk (this is, for the record, totally unheard of) which allows him to increase gravity on an object within close range

his range on all things is v short and his gravity power is fairly weak but he’s actually v scary

Yukako: her ability is exactly the same, except she’s not able to plant her hair into anyone else’s scalp until she trains more

she’s one of the super special recommended students because I love her and she’s terrifying

Okuyasu: his quirk is exactly what The Hand does except he uses his own right hand for it. he’s even still got the little circle markings for it. 

he develops his quirk at ~14 through unnatural means, previously he was quirkless

since he developed it artificially and at such a late age, his control over it isn’t fantastic and he has to be careful 

Mikitaka: can change the shape and composition of his extremities but cannot detach them, seriously manipulate his own size, or alter his entire body at once

he’s also a recommended student at UA and he’s staying with the hero who sponsored him, his actual origins are shrouded in mystery (which he encourages)

(Mikitaka’s goal is essentially to become a cryptid and I love that about him)

Keicho: very specific version of telekinesis where he can only pick up objects under a certain weight (it’s literally, like, a gram or two), but if he can pick something up, he can move it at an incredibly high speed.  he basically carries sand or bb pellets with him at all times and shoots them at people like very small bullets that cannot miss.  he’s clever enough to use this to devastating effect.

like Okuyasu, he was also quirkless until he was roughly 14

Rohan: can control someone’s thoughts or actions by writing on their skin, but it only lasts as long as the ink does.  so.  essentially still Heaven’s Door, but he can’t read your mind.

Rohan and Koichi have to carry markers with them to use their quirks which is kind of silly but I secretly love

anyways, Rohan….might still be a manga artist?

he’s not a hero or a villain

villains probably try to recruit him bc, you know, his power is super useful

YOU KNOW WHAT he could just be pimping out his own quirk to anyone willing to pay for it as like a side job until he meets the squad (Koichi) and changes his ways (is charmed into acting like a decent person)

Jotaro: I was thinking Jotaro’s quirk could be just stopping time for five seconds?  but also it could be “self preservation” where it’s automatically activated when he’s in danger and a ghostly shape (coughs Star Platinum) appears to shield him or catch bullets or whatever it is that he needs.  either one is good.  it’s not really relevant yet and could work either way.

other quirks described as they come up

IMPORTANT NOTE: being quirkless isn’t quite as uncommon in this AU as it is in BnHA canon, but a definite majority of people still have quirks

okay time for some AU bg 

1988 - Joseph Joestar (a popular American hero) and his teenaged grandson Jotaro Kujo (just some kid) are credited with uncovering and stopping the crimes of international supervillain Dio Brando. 

it’s totally fucking sick

Dio cannot be detained and questioned in further detail about his misdeeds due to his unfortunate but unavoidable death.  although it is suspected that he has many more allies than they could actually find proof for, it’s impossible to figure out.  

every associate of Dio’s who is captured is unable to give more information due to the use of some kind of memory-altering quirk, believed to be held by another ally of Dio’s and employed without prejudice on those who are in a position to betray him

Dio seems to have been amassing a global organization of villains, but they scatter after his defeat (death) and hide or destroy all evidence of their activities

the investigation is ongoing

1999 - Josuke Higashikata, secret illegitimate child of Joseph Joestar, signs up to take the UA entrance exam

during the test, he meets Koichi and they instantly hit it off

they collaborate to help each other score points during the practical exam

teamwork makes the dream work

when the list of students accepted to UA for that year gets posted, Joseph (who, as a pro hero, has to keep up with the industry which means paying attention to any up-and-coming heroes) notices Josuke’s name and does some investigating to find out if this is MAYBE just some kid who is coincidentally 16 years old and coincidentally has the same last name as a woman he romanced about 16 years ago

surprise! it’s totally not

so Joseph asks Jotaro (who has grown up to become a detective or whatever and is now one of the people still investigating Dio’s people and has recently been following a lead in Japan) if he’ll maybe keep an ear out for news at UA bc he has an uncle who goes to school there now

surprise! Joseph says.  please don’t tell my wife! he says

yare yare, says Jotaro, and proceeds to cut through this miscommunication bullshit by announcing this new relative to the entire family and then leaving Joseph to deal with his own mess from across the pacific ocean while he gets to go hang out with his baby uncle and talk shit abt their relatives

so Josuke meets Jotaro just before the school year at UA starts

I’m sure it goes well

(actually, it goes really well right up until Josuke’s policeman grandfather is killed by a villain at work and Jotaro, as an international attaché for quirk and supervillain-related crime, is asked if he will maybe please take some time off of his 11-year long, seemingly dead-end case to investigate this)

((kind of puts a damper on the “meet the family” thing, but they solve the case and Josuke becomes even more resolved to become a hero))

the school year begins and Josuke and Koichi are delighted to find out that they’re in the same class

they’ve made it into the hero track bc they absolutely crushed it on the practical exam.  they also tested well in other areas, but they did a nice job against the robots

boy howdy they sure are excited to learn how to be superheroes

class 1-A: Josuke, Koichi, Mikitaka 

class 1-B: Okuyasu, Yukako

I have no idea how old Hazamada and Yuya are but they could potentially also be students

Hazamada is for sure a student so I’ll say he’s a year older and in the general education track

Yuya??? could be there????? but also maybe he’s busy doing his own thing.  he seems like a busy man.  he’s got things to do, nutrients to steal.

anyways, now we have to backtrack a bit again

1988 - Mr. Nijimura has a deceased wife, a failing company, and two quirkless sons

he himself has a minor physical quirk that gives him a decorative pattern of scales on his face, but that’s it. his wife was quirkless and by the time she passed away it was fairly apparent that their kids took after her

Mr. Nijimura has always resented the fact that he does not possess a useful quirk and is angry that his sons are also powerless in a world that increasingly seems to value those with quirks over those without

Mr. Nijimura is also someone who values power

he’s a total asshole about everything, but in 1988 he’s contacted by one of Dio’s allies. they know he has quirkless children and they want to know if he’s interested in potentially helping them develop powers of their own 

spoiler: he is

one of the things that Dio’s group has been doing is research into artificial quirk enhancement and development

this is because Dio A) wants to make his own powers stronger, and B) has discovered that it’s really easy to attract followers when you promise to give them superpowers, or make their powers even cooler than they were before

Mr. Nijimura is given one dosage of a compound that Dio’s allies claim will awake the latent potential in someone who has failed to manifest a quirk

in order to get his hands on the drug, Mr. Nijimura has to agree to officially be in Dio’s debt, should the trial compound succeed in awakening a power in the son he uses it on 

the organization needs quirkless test subjects, but they can be hard to find

if something goes wrong with the kid, the organization will admit no culpability bc Mr. Nijimura does this at his own risk, but also they will take the kid to figure out what exactly went wrong

HOWEVER, because he’s viciously jealous of powerful quirks, Mr. Nijimura does not administer the compound to either of his sons, instead he injects himself and causes his own quirk to go haywire, over-evolving until he becomes a weird, mutant lizard creature 

Dio dies in the days just after his transformation, so the organization is too busy falling apart and destroying anything that could link them back to Dio to keep track of the Nijimura family

(if Dio hadn’t died, they likely would have taken the boys into their custody after their father’s mutation and raised them as Dio’s followers/soldiers)

(also used them as test subjects, albeit more valuable ones since they can also function as workers for this group of Dio’s allies)

(but he did die so that doesn’t happen and that’s an AU of an AU for a different day)

SOMEHOW they manage to live on their own with their mutated dad 

I think the Nijimura family was not really as hard up for money as they are sometimes portrayed

(however it might make sense to put one of Dio’s grunts into the situation, like someone who pretends to be Mr. Nijimura for a little while to cover their own trail in the aftermath and ends up taking care of the kids for a while)

(but like, only for a little while, until they can ensure Mr. Nijimura can’t give anything away and the coast is clear for them to duck out and get a new identity)

((I just CAN’T accept that a 7 year-old keeps house for himself and an even younger child and his mutated father without any kind of help))

the point is that eventually they’re left mostly to fend for themselves

and it continues on like that, just the Nijimura’s by themselves, until Keicho, who was raised to believe that those who are powerful are better than those who are not, discovers some secret record of his father’s connections and what he did to himself and decides that he and Okuyasu need quirks to survive 

I’m not going to say he’s right, but I’m also not going to claim that life wouldn’t be easier for the two of them if they had powers

1995 - Keicho falls in with a straggling faction of Dio’s group (technically now reformed independently to carry on the development of methods to artificially enhance quirks) by offering himself up for experimentation. 

this splinter group doesn’t have the same resources Dio did for this sort of thing, so they’re kind of hard up for volunteers

at least initially

[ominous music]

this new group manages to successfully give Keichi a quirk (he’s about 14 at the time) and he works his ass off until he can get into UA

1996 - Keicho gets into UA

this is how he repays his debt to them

by being a spy

bc they’re still criminals, you see, so they would greatly benefit by having a guy on the inside to tell them shit abt heroes that they can later exploit 

Okuyasu is allowed to know none of this (nothing about the organization and also about Keicho’s new double life) because Keicho doesn’t trust him to keep a secret and likes to cover all his bases

he does understand that their father is the way he is bc he took a drug to increase the power of his own quirk, but he hasn’t been told where/who he got it from.  Keicho will not tell him where he acquired his own quirk.

later, Keicho gets his hands on more of the successful compound (through theft) in order to get his brother a quirk, so Okuyasu gets his powers when he’s ~13~14 and Keicho is already a UA student 

he does it through theft bc Keicho does not want Okuyasu to be indebted to Dio’s (ex)people, which turns out to be really handy later

haha, ‘handy’

anyways

1999 - Keicho has an ambiguous birthday so I’m gonna say he’s just graduated when the squad is in their first year

he’s interning at a hero agency and acting as a mole for Dio’s slowly reviving criminal organization 

since Dio is super dead, it’s really more of a new criminal organization full of people who have had their quirks enhanced or awakened through the improved versions of the tech developed by Dio’s original people

it’s led by a totally new person who wants to continue the research and expand their own criminal network for their own ends

SO Okuyasu takes (and passes!) the UA entrance exam

Keicho always planned for him to go to UA as well so he does it more out of a sense of duty than a desire to become a hero

the ongoing mantra of Okuyasu (and Keicho’s) life is that power is the most important thing a person could have

having a quirk equals power.  learning to fight equals power.  being a hero - a public figure who garners attention and respect - equals power.

people who are strong are worthwhile, people who are weak are worthless

AT THIS POINT Okuyasu is a little less in the dark, he knows his brother is getting paid to spy on UA and hero organizations, he also knows that this arrangement has something to do with how they ended up with the compound that gave them quirks, but he doesn’t know who Keicho’s contacts are and what he’s telling them 

Keicho has paid back his “debt” at this point and is getting actual money from the organization to continue his spying

I don’t think I mentioned that there was a financial component to this deal earlier, just wanted to make that clear

ALSO AT THIS POINT the villains (initially) don’t know that Okuyasu has developed his own quirk because of their technology 

I mean, they have their suspicions, but they can’t prove anything

Keicho let them believe Okuyasu was still quirkless up until the day he took the entrance exam for UA, and by then it’s too late for them to wipe down their lab for fingerprints

so there’s like, school stuff going on?

Josuke and Koichi meet their classmates and then class 1-A meets class 1-B and everyone is like “fuck, these guys are assholes”

surprise, losers, later on you’re all great friends

but to hurry this along a little

sometime early in the semester, Keicho gets caught doing Bad Stuff by Josuke and Koichi who are classic meddling kids

he panics bc these guys have some solid evidence of his misdeeds, so clearly he has to get rid of them somehow

he decides to attempt this by letting them tail him (very badly) back to his and Okuyasu’s home so he can fight them with backup

there’s a scuffle and Koichi gets hit/injected/whatever with a variant on the special quirk compound (Keicho has also stolen this), later causing him to develop a secondary quirk but initially causing him to lose major motor control and Josuke to believe he’s been fatally poisoned

Josuke does some shouting, Koichi flops around a bit, Josuke does some more shouting about the duties of a hero, Okuyasu as a minor moral crisis and taps out of the fight, Keicho does some impulsive shouting of his backstory and gets in major trouble

Keicho is being monitored by the organization by the time Josuke and Koichi stumble onto the scene like amateur detectives bc they think he’s double crossing them (evidence: they’re pretty sure he’s stolen from them before and his allegiance can clearly be bought), so when they catch him spilling info on them to two UA recruits they freak and need to eliminate him before he reveals anything else 

Keicho’s cover is totally blown so Otoishi is immediately dispatched to kill him and also Josuke and Koichi if he can

the new head of the organization values privacy. like. a lot.

Otoishi can’t manage all of them bc he doesn’t have time and can’t outclass the pro heroes starting to show up on the scene, so he grabs (kills) Keicho and skedaddles

Josuke, Koichi, and Okuyasu are detained for questioning

well, Koichi is taken to the hospital, but Josuke and Okuyasu get detained

Jotaro shows up bc the stuff Keicho and then Okuyasu spilled about artificially gaining a quirk reeks of Dio’s people and it’s kind of his job to find Dio’s people

some stuff happens I guess and Okuyasu can’t be charged with anything bc Keicho was careful not to let him know or be involved in anything

like, he could be charged with property damaged, but it was his property

he complies with everything they ask him to do and tells them all that he can and they get someone in to look at his thoughts to see if he’s lying (he’s not)

they keep an eye on him for about a week to make sure he’s not REALLY a spy but once it becomes apparent that he really had nothing to do with it besides defending his brother and generally having a fucked-up life they don’t really have a reason to kick him out of UA so he just. goes back to school.

Koichi also goes back to school after about a week.  people were spreading rumors that he died.  he’s fine, but now he has two quirks, which you can imagine starts even MORE rumors

ofc UA still wants to keep an eye on Okuyasu - his brother spied on them for three years and he has ties to a villain organization, they can’t just let that go - so they ‘suggest’ that since he has no legal guardians or adults in his life he should move into the UA dorms 

guess who also lives in the dorms

Josuke and Koichi and the squad, they all live in these AU optional dorms

except Mikitaka, who is being fostered by the hero who recommended his entry to UA

dorms foster bonding time and VOILA any and all grudges between him and Josuke and Koichi are easily settled

so Okuyasu joins up w/ Koichi and Josuke bc his classmates won’t really talk to him 

they’ll warm up to him eventually, but by then he’s got his squad and he’s good with that

and like? other stuff happens? Kira is busy being Kira? but here’s the beginning and all that

this really is the post that wouldn’t end

I’m gonna stop here and put you all out of your misery

I’m p sure I know how Kira gets worked into everything but I’ll leave that for another day

[battybat-boss]

Publicly Open Pedophile Running for Office in Virginia Reveals How Foster Care is a Pipeline to Adopt Children as “Sex Toys”

Nathan Larson, admitted pedophile, recommends adopting children for the purpose of using them as sex toys. Photo from his now-defunct website, NathanLarson.org.

by Health Impact News/MedicalKidnap.com Staff

An independent candidate running for office in Virginia has admitted to being a pedophile. Nathan Larson is a 37-year-old accountant running for the U.S. House of Representatives in Virginia's 10th district.

As his extremely disturbing views on child rape, white supremacy, and more have come to light, the first reaction of many has been to hope that this was fake news.

Sadly, it is not. Huffington Post reported the story last last week, and since then, many media outlets from Newsweek and The Hill to Fox and CBS have covered the story of the admitted pedophile.

HuffPo's Jesselyn Cook conducted a phone interview with him and confirmed that he was the creator of websites suiped.org and incelocalypse.today, which Cook describes as “chat rooms that served as gathering places for pedophiles and violence-minded misogynists like himself.” The websites were taken down last week.

His campaign manifesto for his congressional run has since been taken down also, but an archived copy is available here.

Between the interview, the websites, and his manifesto, there are enough vile, disgusting, radical views to keep the media occupied for days. The level of depravity within his writings is difficult to comprehend, and frankly, it turns the stomach.

There is one aspect of his demented views that has garnered very little press. Yet, for readers who are concerned about the kidnapping of children for the adoption and foster care industry, it is an aspect that must not be overlooked. It reveals a very dark side to the industry that the media, even now, refuses to address.

He confirmed to HuffPo that he wrote under the pseudonyms Leucosticte and Lysander. Under those names he has written to his followers who are pedophiles like him that they should endeavor to make enough money so that they can adopt children – for the purpose of using them as sex toys.

Warning: Graphic and Disturbing Language

Huffington Post reported:

As Lysander on suiped.org, a forum for “suicidal pedophiles,” Larson wrote numerous posts endorsing child rape and other forms of sexual abuse.

“Why doesn't every pedo just focus on making money so they can get a pedo-wife and then either impregnate her with some fucktoys or adopt some fucktoys?” he wrote on the platform in October. “That would accommodate both those who are and aren't into incest. And of course, the adoption process lets you pick a boy or a girl.”

Apparently, he has already acted upon part of this philosophy. According to the Colorado Springs Independent, he raped his ex-wife and she conceived. She left him before their daughter was born, moved away, then she became trans-gender, using the name Finn:

 … in a legal document that Finn filled out to waive child support in February, he writes of Larson, “During our relationship, he was severely emotionally and sexually abusive towards me.

He stated multiple times that he wanted to have sex with a child. He talked about how he would manipulate and trick the child into giving him sex, told me he wouldn't love the child if they did not have sex with him, and stated he had no interest in children other than sexual … [He] raped me until I was pregnant and stated his intention to have sex with my child after she was born.” (Source).

Not long after this, Finn committed suicide. Larson only saw his daughter once, under supervision. The Colorado Springs Independent states that the maternal grandparents have custody of the baby.

While it is obvious that he has no business having custody of his daughter, it may not be so obvious that Larson's views about adoption are not isolated. Most with his views don't speak so openly about them, but the numbers make it clear that there are many who participate in fostering and adopting for the purposes of gratifying their deviant desires.

This is a very ugly part of the adoption industry that is difficult to talk about, and it is difficult for people to hear. But we must see it. Sick people who engage in such acts can and do foster and adopt children, and much of that happens through the Child “Protective” System.

Though certainly not every adopter shares views similar to Larson's, there are many who do.

Health Impact News has long warned that part of the reason that children are stolen from their parents is to provide children for the sex trafficking trade. The more that we learn, the more that we realize how much more common this is than we ever knew.

Foster Care to Sex Trafficking Pipeline

Earlier this year we reported that Attorney Michael Dolce wrote an opinion piece for Newsweek in which he explained that the foster care system is basically set up to sexually traffic children. He wrote:

Here's the ugly truth: most Americans who are victims of sex trafficking come from our nation's own foster care system. It's a deeply broken system that leaves thousands vulnerable to pimps as children and grooms them for the illegal sex trade as young adults.

We have failed our children by not fixing the systemic failures that have allowed this to happen for decades.

See:

Attorney Reporting in Newsweek: Foster Care is a System Set Up to Sex Traffic American Children

1000 Convicted Sex Offenders in LA Approved as Fosters

Filmmaker Sean Stone interviewed Tammi Stefano, Executive Director of The National Safe Child Coalition, in 2015. Tammi revealed some shocking information about the unholy alliance between Child Protective Services and the child sex trafficking trade:

Stefano replied that what she discovered, and what the Los Angeles Times was kind enough to publish, was that 1000 “convicted sex offenders” had been given a “green light” by CPS to become “approved foster parents” just in Los Angeles County.

Filmmaker Sean Stone interviews Tammi Stefano. Image from YouTube.

CPS Putting Children into Sex Trafficking is a Huge Problem

At around the 25:15 point in the interview, Stone and Stefano begin to discuss the child sex trafficking problem. When Stone asks Stefano if she has encountered sex trafficking among children, she replies: “We need to cover it a lot more.”

As an example, she mentioned a sex trafficking case with CPS in Orange County, California last year. Stefano says that of 105 sexually abused victims that were found in this case, 65% of those victims were in the foster care system under CPS control, and they were allegedly never reported missing. Stefano says:

What we are finding now is this trafficking is a lot bigger, and a lot more involved politically, than we care to look at, or the media won't cover. Everybody is afraid, because there are some really big heavy hitters that are very influential that are involved.

Children have been sold, and there have been cases, where children have been sold up to 75 times in one day. 75 times in one day…. someone has abused this child.

The child trafficking industry, or human trafficking industry right now, makes more money than the illegal drug trade, and illegal arms trade, combined. 

So, children are definitely a commodity. They are a commodity to make money.

See:

Child Sex Trafficking through Child “Protection” Services Exposed – Kidnapping Children for Sex

State-Kidnapped Child Given to Pedophile

We reported the tragic story of beautiful little Devani of Arizona, stolen from her mother for bogus reasons, and placed by Arizona Department of Child Services (DCS) with a man who used her in his pedophile pornography ring and committed horrible acts of sexual violence against her.

Devani, “the little girl in the blue dress,” was a victim of a pedophile foster parent. Photo from AZ Childrens Lives Matter Facebook page.

Devani was not his first, or his last, victim. Despite obvious clues that he was raping foster and adoptive children, social workers continued to place innocent children with this monster, who is finally in prison serving a 17-year sentence for his crimes. See:

Arizona Child Removed from Loving Family and Placed into Foster Care Where She was Repeatedly Raped – then 80% of Body Burned

Arizona Foster Care System Revealed as Pedophile Ring: Former Foster Child Tortured for Years Sues for $15 Million

State Auditor Finds CPS Doesn't Consider Sexual Abuse of Children Problematic

Massachusetts State Auditor Suzanne Bump was horrified to find that Child Protective Services in her state does not view child sexual abuse of foster children to be a serious problem:

Sexual abuse to children is not considered to be a critical incident, because DCF, in their own words, did not consider sexual abuse to cause serious bodily harm or extreme physical pain.

See:

Massachusetts State Auditor Finds Widespread Rape and Sexual Abuse in Foster Care but DCF Officials Won't Report It

Our experience at Health Impact News in talking with children and adults who were in the foster care/adoptive system is that rape and sexual molestation is quite common in the system. Most reported it to their social workers, but very few saw any type of investigation. Most of the time the incidents were swept under the rug.

It Is All About the Money

Foster care and adoption have never been about what is best for the children. It is about the money – billions of dollars of federal money that come to the states, rewarding and incentivizing the taking of children. Because the bottom line is the money to be made, social workers, supervisors, attorneys, and judges turn a blind eye to the plight of children. It doesn't matter to the system that children are placed with monsters who want to use the children as sex toys.

See:

The U.S. Foster Care System: Modern Day Slavery and Child Trafficking

Child Kidnapping and Trafficking: A Lucrative U.S. Business Funded by Taxpayers Called “Foster Care”

As long as there is money to be made by doing so, and as long as there is no one held accountable for the horrific outcomes to the children placed with traffickers and other child molesting fosters and adopters, the practice will likely continue.

People with views like Larson's exist, in the shadows and on the approved adopter rolls. If his open views shock you, please understand that he is not alone. A growing segment of our society, including those in the entertainment industry, wants to normalize pedophilia. See:

Why I Canceled My Netflix Account and You Should Too: Promoting Pedophilia is NOT OK!

Isn't it time we fight to end this evil, corrupt system called “foster care?”

We recently published an article rebutting Lisa Wheeler's call in the National Review to have more churches participate in the Foster Care program:

State-funded Foster Care and The Church: Part of the Problem, NOT Part of the Solution

The comments we received in social media on this article were mostly from Christian foster parents defending their role in an admittedly corrupt system.

But instead of trying to recruit more foster parents from churches, should not churches and Christians nationwide be working together to abolish such an evil system, allowing churches and other Christian organizations to work directly with families and children in need without state funding?

The current government-funded foster care system is a failed system, beyond reform, and it needs to be abolished. This was the conclusion the late Georgia Senator Nancy Schaefer came to, but she was murdered and did not live long enough to try to accomplish this goal.

Senator Nancy Schaefer: Did her Fight Against CPS Child Kidnapping Cause her Murder?

Molly McGrath Tierney, the former Director of the Baltimore City Department of Social Services, is another one who believes the system is completely broken.

She gave one of the most insightful TEDx talks about the problems with the “Foster Care Industry” – an industry where children become a commodity that profits doctors, lawyers, judges, social workers, advocates, and other organizations, an industry that can only exist by taking other people's children, an industry that damages the very children it purports to be helping. She goes on to explain the trauma inflicted on children by the foster care industry, saying:

… we're digging a wound so deep, I don't believe we have a way of measuring it. This dismantling of families – it has enormous consequences. Kids that grow up outside of families – they don't master the things that can only be learned in that context, like who to trust, how to love, and how to take care of yourself, and that frankly does more damage than the abuse and neglect that brought the kid to my attention in the first place.

Statistics show that up to 85% of children put into foster care are NOT for reasons of abuse. Statistics also show that children taken out of “troubled homes” fare far worse in foster care than if they had been left in their homes with their biological parents (Source), most of whom are just simply poor.

For the few children that truly need new homes, local communities are in the best position to care for these children, with local institutions such as churches and other non-profits, who are held accountable to their communities and supporters.

We don't need a multi-BILLION dollar federal foster care system that is nothing more than a child trafficking business.

Comment on this article at MedicalKidnap.com.

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