#i love making characters sad and my self insert ocs are NOT exceptions!!!

[kits-ships]

unpopular opinion but i love self ship angst and self-ship hurt/no comfort

[mercair]

Goodbye Mercair

On January 7th of 2017, i posted my first song ever. It was a shitty self-insert megalo that never got any likes and barely got listened to. But i didn't really make it to get popular, i knew at the time that that would never happen and i was okay with it, because i didn't make that song for that. That first song was my way of thanking this community for helping me so much during a grim part of my life, to thank YOU, Undertale/Deltarune fan just for being there, creating stuff, and making people happy... I wanted to pay back the happiness this community gave me, and it has been like that ever since.

But now i realize, after 7 years, that... I'm not needed here. Whether i'm here or not, people would still be happy. People would have banger songs to listen to and characters to obsese over, without me. And that's wonderful! I enjoy seeing people happy more than i enjoy seeing myself. Just like in real life too, i'm the kind of person that can disappear from earth, and almost nobody would notice. But it's not like i can blame them, in the last 7 years i've been here i barely talked to anybody, i barely interacted and i barely got any friends.

And also, i'll just never be able to pay my debts with this community. I owe you guys so much, but nothing of what i do will ever be enough, not for me at least. And now i just have nothing to offer. I have no new ideas, i'll have no way of composing in what seems like months at this point, and i just lost my motivation. I've ran out of excuses to justify my presence in this place.

But also, in all honesty... After 7 years of creating stuff, even though i told myself that i never did it for popularity... I just thought i would stop feeling like a nobody, and that i'd stop feeling jealous of everyone else's success on this community. Is that ungrateful of me? Am i being greedy and not appreciative enough of what i got? Honestly, that's another reason of why i decided to leave; i'm just so secretly jealous of every other famous person in this fandom, i just think it'd be unfair for you guys to have a person like me around here. Ungrateful, greedy, jealous.

So i decided it's just time. To give up. To leave.

Once i'm done writing this letter, it'll be over. I'll stop being a musician, and i'll stop being an artist too. But please don't be sad about that. I don't want you to be sad. I want you to keep being happy, living in this fandom, like always. Keep making banger tracks, keep making cool art whether it's of your favorite characters or your own awesome ocs, keep talking to your friends and the people who love you, and overall, just forget about me. Forget about all of this. All my creations, all my characters, songs and concepts, they're not worthy of your praise. But everyone else's stuff is. So please, don't remember me or else i won't be able to leave this place in peace.

And now, i guess the question people are more interested in right now is "What will happen to all your stuff then?" Well, as some may have noticed, i've already taken down all of my original tracks from my soundcloud account, except for the covers/songs i made for other people and collabs, which are still up, since they're either not my characters, or i just wasn't the only one that worked on it, and it would be unfair to delete it. The soundcloud account will soon go unnamed, and i'll erase any connection to me it has, so people will be able to listen to those songs, without my name in it. As for my Tumblr and Twitter account... I'm now debating on whether or not to delete them, or just do the same and erase my name from both of them. I also gotta point out the possibility of me regreting this decision, but even if i do, i'm most likely not coming back.

So that's it. But before i go, i want to apologize. For everything.

I'm sorry i wasn't the best at what i did.

I'm sorry if my music wasn't good enough to make you smile or bang your head to it.

I'm sorry if my artistic abilities never catched your eye.

I'm sorry that i was never able to make a character you could obsess over.

I'm sorry if i was just too awkward and unfunny when talking to you.

I'm sorry if i was never able to become your friend and be someone you could talk to on the daily.

And most of all, i'm sorry for thinking that i could be like you. That i could be one of you.

All of you are so talented... SO incredibly talented and such good people... You're all legitimatlly amazing, and don't let people tell you otherwise. You're all gonna do great stuff in the future with the skills you have now, i guarantee it.

Well, i have to go now.

Thank you. For everything, and for what you did for me so many years ago. Thanks to you, i managed to be happy for the last 7 years of my life.

Goodbye UTDR.

[raointean]

Funniest responses* to the "What does "Mary Sue/Gary Stu" mean?" question

(In reference to my silmarillion fandom linguistics project, the results of which you can find in my "survey says" tag)

*not necessarily the full response, some are just fragments from longer responses. Also, I'm not filtering by "correct" or "incorrect" responses

Like a China doll that has been polished so much it’s face has worn off.

an overly idealized self-insert, one who exerts a black-hole like effect on the surrounding story and characters

Typically a derisive term.

It's like, an OC in a fic who is written to be "too perfect". All the canon characters fall in love romantically or platonically with the Sue/Stu, and they're given uncompelling and unexplainable abilities to solve all problems and be better than anyone else in the story. Often associated with self-insert OCs.

Everyone likes them. They're often instantly good at anything they try. The narrative's darling

Mary Sues are way more common than Gary Stus because people like to shit on girls having fun i guess

even my mom has heard about this one)

Often has a tragic backstory and unusual physical features

Very op character, too flawless (luthien)

OC

often this is used pejoratively against self-insert characters

everyone likes them (except the villain for arbitrary reasons)

Originated from Star Trek fan fiction

May have a comically tragic backstory. Usually in a relationship with the authors favorite character. May be a canon character a fan author has twisted beyond recognition.

Annoyingly perfect female protagonist (Mary Sue been used to mock and belittle stories about women. I've never seen Gary Stu in actual use: male characters with the exact same abilities are just 'strong')

Unrealistic, overpowered, or flawless main character, usually assumed to be a self-insert for the author. However some of the best characters are Sues and Stus, so the term is considered not very nuanced

has little canonical reason for being Like That excepting that it makes the author happy.

A term for an overpowered wish-fulfillment avatar

with a host of "desirable" traits (lustrous hair, shining eyes (sorry I mean orbs))

Overpowered perfect character in a bad story; always negative

Sweet harmless prim rule-following vanilla

super over powered oc who the plot revolves around usually female sometimes self-insert blah blah misogyny. i don't think this term should hold much weight.

idealised character, probably original. Think it was invented by people who enjoyed bullying younger writers on LJ

Batman, gender swapped, would be accused of being a Mary Sue.

they have no flaws except that "theyre just too perfect and thats hard uwu (sad face)"

Sue if female, Stu if male

An OC who is better at everything than the existing characters, unusually beautiful, and often "fixes" all the difficult/sad parts of the plot by Being Amazing and Knowing Everything. Usually written by immature writers. "Tenth Walker" fics and "So-and-so's other/secret daughter" fics are nearly always "Mary Sue" stories. (Also a phrse that gets thrown at any interesting and powerful female character by insecure and sexist men.)

Overpowered (often self insert) character that is loved by everyone

The feminine is much more often used, because sexism

I think the term was often used in a very demeaning way in the past, but it can still be s useful term in modern fandom

Self-insert in an overdone, heroine kind of way. Was originally a derogatory term, but diesnt really have much reason to be.

overpowered, flawless character who has reasonable justification for every Really Stupid decision they make

warp the plot and other characters around them due to their need to be The Most Awesome

Also Feanor

(and also no one ever wants to admit canon characters are already Like That, especially in comics)

for example, a girl's only "flaw" is that she's so small and petite she needs help from the big strong male character. This could be developed into a "serious" flaw with her easily becoming codependent, but with a Mary Sue, this idea would not be pursued (#226)

As for Gary Stus, I think I would also consider a male character a Gary Stu who NEVER shows emotion but still gets the girl in the end. (#226 cont.)

I think the terms are very gender stereotypical in their nature so it kind of makes sense that the descriptions I gave play into those same stereotypes - not to say this shouldn't be questioned, but when I'm asked to define a Mary Sue/Gary Stu, it's very connected to gender stereotypes to me. (#226 cont.)

self-inserty character... over cool

Special Origins (mixed race, super powers, one of a kind etc)

Term used by haters to criticize a character they interpret to lack flaws but without having to do any literary analysis.

A negative connotation word about a character who is unbelievably talented

not every op character is a ms/gs, only the ones that are perfect

(disproportionately applied to women)

someone with a level of pilot-armor so thick it breaks immersion

Bunnies hop at their feet. Darkness flies before their sunny aura. And then everyone appplauds

A self insert character with a protagonist halo

Practically perfect in every way

usually get a romance with The Blorbo

You're asking for an essay here...

Often feels like someone's first D&D character.

considering the source material, I wouldn't use it for a silm fic

I kind of enjoy these sometimes lol

A self insert in a fandom who is you but the idealized version to an unintentionally hilarious degree, often to the point of being awkward and poorly written, “passed off” as an OC

Often associated with preteens (writers and characters)

Central common traits include lack of consequences, unjustified competence or skill, and poor social skills.

what if i was the coolest person on earth

The "Oh, yeah? Well, I have a shield that can block laser bolts" of fiction.

An OC who is too perfect/has no flaws, usually written by someone just starting out

OC thats a bit... inept at doing things in their New World

similar to the og star trek fanfic Mary Sue

there has been criticism in recent years of the term Mary Sue being used in a misogynist (and just plain mean) fashion

& occasionally parenthood.

/ refers to the fact that these two people are portrayed to be in some sort of relationship in the fic

The tea is SMOKING, y'all! 🍵

[rainbowchewynuggets]

Hello, I'm still here!

I just moved again, and I wanted to share some stuff I made before I did.

So I was working on an idea for an episodic serial comic about a small polycule with mild super powers trying to live a quiet life together in an apartment in a small city--hanging out, running errands, going to work, and trying to duck the feds who want to take them away to be "studied". Just a cute slice of life thing with some spice to heighten the magic and preciousness of mundane life.

It woulda been called UNSUCOTH (Untitled Supernatural Comfort Throupple).

I didn't get far into making it, and I may never. I think I started it because I felt really sad and lost and missed my hometown. And now that I live there again, I don't really feel that motivated anymore. I just want to go outside all the time lol.

But here's the cast anyway because I love them, they're a part of me, and they may show up in later posts and projects regardless.

This is Chesah. They have psychic powers (largely Akira style, but they've always had a spiritual/emotional connection to the stars and are starting to think they can also talk to the dead). ((My notes also say they have acid blood? What??)) They work as a clerk/archivist in the filing room at a very outdated office. People leave them alone, so they get to use their powers to do their job and listen to music all day.

They are my inner goth who never got to come out.

This is Kanai. He can influence local temperature, air pressure, precipitation, plant life, animals, and kind of effectively the sun? A lowkey nature god, though he's too humble to claim the title. He splits part time as a line cook and a delivery cyclist. Really, he'd do any job where he gets to be in a group or meet new people.

He is the 90s beach dude I want to be.

And this is Briar. He's a shapeshifter who has used his powers to explore his gender and humanity, as well as extend his lifespan by hundreds of years. She does odd jobs--any relatively anonymous contract work she can get. It's safer that way of course, but he also enjoys trying new things and getting to blow in and out of people's lives like a phantasm (with the exception of Chesah and Kanai's lives--he loves them to death).

She is the metalhead I almost forgot I am.

------------

It's also worth mentioning that I had a funny little gender awakening after I started this.

Turns out I'm genderfluid! Yippee!

These three characters represent archetypes that have developed through my projects and hcs since I was 14. I always put a bit of myself into my ocs, but I put these three to paper and realized that they're much bigger chunks of me. All the stuff I'd been repressing all my life.

(Also, I should clarify that I'm a white redneck American. The ethnicities of the throupple obviously don't apply to me. They're based on other people I know or cultures I want to know more about.)

I especially looked at Briar and said to myself, "Oh, that guy really is just what I look like on the inside." So I named myself after him.

Can you do that? A reverse self-insert?

Still, all three of them have been my guides through this wacky, cool period of my life. I'm having all kinds of complicated feelings about it and am very slow in the process of exploring it as I put my new life together.

Look forward (maybe) to some kind of post about how agenderism, shapeshifting, and monster kinning factor into this. (Legitimately. I think it's really cool and I hope I can sort out my thoughts well enough to explain it.)

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Signed, BRIAR!!!

[bluebellhairpin]

Hi Nemo! If you're willing, can you tell me about your selfship with Arthur? 👉👈 My husband IRL has played RDR and RDR2, but I feel like I still know next to nothing about him/his world, and I want to know how you fit into it! It's evident that he makes you happy, and I'd love to talk to you more about him, I just don't know where to start!

Love you, hope you're having a good day 🩶

"It's evident that he makes you happy" OMG YOU NOTICED 🥺🥺🥺

Anyway, oc/selfship lore dump below bc I could bet money that this is gonna get long lol

So like all my selfships, I like to throw together a little self insert oc to match - makes things more immersive imo.

This one is only known as Red. She's quiet and keeps to herself a lot. She doesn't partake in a lot of gang activities as far as the outlaw side of things go.

Like's to keep herself as honest as possible. She does learn to hunt after a while, and that helps her bring in money bc she sells most of what she kills. She attempted to learn pickpocketing off Mary-beth, but she "has too honest of a heart to fool anyone, they'd see (her) coming a mile away". So she sticks to keeping clean and straight as far as crimes go. She could turn to bounty hunting, but again - she doesn't really enjoy the risk of killing her bounty if things turned bad, so she avoids that too.

She also had a buckskin stallion called Leroy who is her little baby boy who can do no wrong, and who she pampers SO BAD. He's actually quite cuddly, and very protective of her.

If Red was a character in-game, she'd probably join the gang's girls in venturing into Valentine during 'Polite Society, Valentine Style'. Actually I can imagine her being someone who latches on as someone who joins in on missions rather than having any specific to her like other characters. She definitely plays a role as one of the main cast in the epilogue with John - if she had a solo mission with the player it'd probably be during that time.

Her relationship with Arthur though, following in-game canon, is so tricky. Like Arthur has. Trauma. Both his past canon relationships left him a bit messed up. Eliza died, and Mary left him - and and like it's messed with his self esteem so bad lol. So I can see both him and Red skirting around 'will they wont they' for a very long time - maybe even only deciding to comfort it at the very end of the game when Arthur's trying to 'fix' everything while he's still alive. Like there's a definite fondness, maybe even favoritism, between the two and it would definitely show though when they interacted. A lot of untapped potential - painfully so - if they weren't both so emotionally constipated.

Honestly the best part of the canon-esque storyline is post game. (AND IS ALSO WHY I THINK THIS HAS SEVERLY UNTAPPED PLOY SHIP POTENTIAL!!!) Her and Charles Smith wander off to Canada and use their mutual fondness of Arthur as a gateway to a really good relationship. They settle down on some land, get married, and start a family. They're each other's 'no one else understands what I've been though or how I feel except you' person. They both lost Arthur, and he does kind of haunt them - they name their first child, a daughter, Morgan, for him. (I think the relationship progress with Charles lies a lot with how straightforward I see him coming across as - in my head he doesn't hide how he feels so much, and by then Red has a lot of regret about not acting soon enough with Arthur, so she's a lot more willing to act by that point too.)

AND FIREND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MY MORDEN AU THOUGHTS. They're a lot less sad, BUT GOOD GRIEF. SO MUCH MORE HORNY.

[fimbry]

Okay, tell me about your favorite OC (don't lie, we all have a favorite)? What's their name? What story do they belong in? Have you written any of it? Drawn them? Who is their best friend? Where'd you come up with them? Do they have snakes? If not, what snake WOULD they have?

Oh Ked you sly dog, you'll get me monologuing!

Okay big shocker but it's Tikall, he is my 100% fav.

My stories don't have titles, but he's in my "main" story. I only have two stories, the other one has that little brown/gold dragon in it.

I haven't written any of it, and I've hardly drawn much of it because compositions are hard when you're trying to tell stories with it-- they often get abandoned in the WIP stage. Wow, sad! That's what I was hoping to change this year, but I've been very unproductive and feeling crappy so far.

I do draw him constantly though, he's the most fun to draw.

His best friend has changed over the years as I tweak the story, and I have done some major changes over the last few years. So, it's Tast though!

(I love drawing him too)

When did I come up with Tikall phew um, well he's always been my self insert character into media so I started drawing him like when I was 4 or 5 as a Land Before Time character except he was just a fox because I liked foxes back then. A baby dinosaur sized fox. Same guy, just changed a lot with time. A LOT.

He did have snakes, which were just my own snakes, but now post-2020 story edits he doesn't considering he travels a lot and it wouldn't make sense. He does have his own Tobiko though because gosh, everyone needs a little cat. As a base Tikall is very "me," but he is also his own character since his story is not my story. So there are a lot, a lot, of differences.

[acircusfullofdemons]

PARAMAY DAY 13 (CREATION)

*inhales* oh boy, here we go…

Claypso was created on January 12, 2018, the day/day after I had seen the movie “The Greatest Showman”. It Unlocked something in my brain because the MOMENT I got home I pulled up Pinterest & started looking for inspo to make a Cool New ~*Self Insert OC*~. I can't really remember my exact thought process (who knows wtf 14yo Luka was on) BUT I do know I specifically made Calypso to represent "me". I would then joke for the next 2ish years on how, despite this, I made Calypso a boy when I identified as a Cis Girl. Idk I just find that fact so funny now that I’m nonbinary. (In the same vein, I also made him confident/proud of his bisexuality when I still had no clue if I was bi or not. We love projecting onto our own ocs/paras <3).

Calypso is the parame I remember actively making, thinking, "this Character is me but runs a circus" (I had just seen The Greatest Showman so inspo was strong there lol). Which is funny, because if you look at Cali, then look at me, I don't think you'd think/realize that?? His personality is very much…the opposite of mine lol. I am not a super cool extrovert that has multiple friend groups and goes on odd adventures. I’m on tumblr participating in a month-long oc challenge. Clearly something went wrong /j.

Uh. I made him at a time when I was questioning if I was Bi or not (I mean i was a freshman/starting highschool. Do any of us know who we truly are then?) so I kinda projected that into him??? In all honesty I feel like he should fall somewhere on the aro spectrum as well, since I'm aro & that's important to me, but I want it to evolve naturally if it at all happens so I won't entertain the idea just yet.

Funny enough, homeboy has always been a homeboy. Er, what I mean by that is, even tho I made him based off of me/representing me, having him be a (cis) male was one of my first decisions for him. At the time I wasn't 100% sure why, maybe I was influenced by the movie, which had Hugh Jackman star/play as PT Barnum, both males. But uh *looks @ nonbinary flag* I think there's a reason why now. Also part of the reason he's so feminine / """girly""" I guess. Tbh I probably projected into him a lot more than I realize (coughdaddyissuescough) but he is my parame & started out as a paraself, so it's fair.

Oh wow I haven’t even gotten into the original version of his story yet. It’s honestly not that different from how it is now, with a few minor differences. Originally, he was just the circus’ ringleader and died trying to save Clairette from a lion attack. The time loop was because he was the son of Persephone and Morpheus (yes..the greek gods…they were a thing in this once) so I think Persephone allowed him to be a Poltergeist?? OH and Macbeth was his half brother which made their relationship kind of sad because Cali genuinely wanted a sibling relationship but Macbeth just wanted him dead (Macbeth is a Reaper and his job is to collect Souls Cali is literally a lost soul do u see the problem here).

The VR stuff was always canon (except for that brief period of time where I got insecure and it wasn’t and everything was just their normal life which made things less confusing but also there was literally no plot lmao). Idk what else to say uhm fun facts: 

His default playlist is a little over 8hrs long and is currently the longest playlist I have on Spotify (that I listen to. My instrumental playlist is a little longer but tbh I rarely touch it).

He used to have gold eyes. They were quickly changed to blue and got shifted into the turquoise they are now! In addition to that, his first design used to have him wearing an actual ringleader outfit. He also used to have black hair, then light purple, and finally the dark purple it is now. In total he’s been through roughly 7-8 redesigns.

Cali is combined with a previous character, Anthony Morningstar. Anthony was inspired by Pride!Roman (an AU of Roman Sanders from the webseries “Sanders Sides”) and is the reason Calypso is now a prince! I scrapped Anthony because I had no idea what to do with his character and felt like him & Cali were too similar to really justify them being different people.

The tarot cards that represent him are “The Magician” and “Page of Wands”.

“A Million Dreams” from The Greatest Showman is his theme song.

....this is all probably Too Much. hm. have the first drawing of Cali I ever did (it is from 2018 😞)

[childrenof217]

Hello! I'm 217, but you can call me Two! I'm in my 20s and my pronouns are they/them. OC creation is my lifeblood, and I wanted a place to accumulate all the oc content from my various sideblogs, so here we are!

I mainly enjoy canon x oc ships, and about 90% of my ocs are shipped with canon characters of their respective verses! If that is not your cup of tea, this is not the place for you. I'm also a selfshipper and have various self-inserts/sonas. And they are smooching my blorbos. Because I am free <3

Some rules:

Asks are VERY welcome! Please let me yap about my ocs I will love you forever and possibly ask for your hand in marriage /silly

I'm in my 20s, and there will be adult content here. Minors preferably stay away and do not interact (but idk I'm not your mom)

In that vein, curate your own online experience! Harassment of any form will NOT be tolerated and you will be blocked on sight. Antis gtfo, you are not welcome here. Good vibes only!

I am totally cool with sharing anyone EXCEPT TfA!Prowl. That's my husband and I do not like to see him with anyone else, it makes me sad. Sorry! Anyone else is absolutely free game and if we have the same f/o PLEASE be my friend!!

• TOYHOUSE •

Fandom the brain cell is currently focused on

Transformers

Fandoms I have ocs in that I very likely will come back to

DC

Warrior Cats

The Walking Dead

Danny Phantom

The Hunger Games

Trollhunters

Legend of Zelda (BotW/TotK)

The Dragon Prince

Beastars

Blood of Zeus

Super Mario (movie verse)

Fandoms I have ocs in that I may or may not return to (chances are low but never zero)

Mystic Messenger

Encanto

HTTYD

The Lion King

Pokémon (anime)

MLP FiM

Wish

Fandoms I have left but I still have guys here

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

I also have multiple original verses, as well as ocs for fandoms I was never in in the first place (sometimes I come up with ocs while I watch something and then move on immediately as soon as I'm done)

[eye-of-yelough]

woe, numbers be upon you (for the dark urge questions) 1, 3, 4, 11, 13, 16, 21, 25, 30

WOWIE YOU SPOIL ME. THANK YOU

For context in case you or anyone reading this don’t know, Aeryn is an oc i’ve had since looong before bg3, he’s basically a self insert (except he’s isn’t, at all, because we have very little in common) who is my go-to guy to play as in video games. his personality, appearance and all that was all already in my head so. idk some things might not sense because i bend little things here n there to make him more like he is in my head.

ANOTHER thing is that i initially created this guy for the soul purpose of like. tortureporn. just a little meow meow for me to force all of sad horny little edgelord impulses onto with the hope that if i put it all into one character, i wouldn’t do it as much with my others. and then he kinda just evolved from there as i got more invested in him. but he’s still that tortureporn deep down so that’s why there’s So Much going on with him. just thought i’d warn ya.

1) What circumstances led to your durge picking their class/subclass?

Aeryn’s a level 8 “the great old one” warlock/level 4 “gloom stalker” ranger. for warlock, well. the thing you need to know about Aeryn is that he is. very pathetic. i always play him as a glass cannon. he likely wasn’t living up to Murder Daddy’s ambitious expectations for him as being the ultimate killing machine, so he made a deal for an arcane edge. as for gloom stalker urban ranger well. it’s the dark urge.

3) what would your durge consider to be their greatest skill? is this accurate?

seduction, and no. he is off-putting and desperate and only certain people find that charming. i’d say it’s his love. his empathy.

4) what would your durge consider to be their greatest flaw? is this accurate?

just… all of it. the Urge, the rampant sex addiction, (by extension, the need for people to find him physically attractive, that’s so strong it stops him from physically or socially transitioning, which leads him in this weird purgatory, flitting from girlmoding to boymoding depending on he wants to gain sex or respect from a social situation. suffice it to say, no one ever knows what to make of him.) desperate pathetic clingyness and people pleasing borne from a life of profound isolation and rejection, the fact that he’s so so so scared all the time. and, yeah. i’d say that’s pretty spot on.

11) what motivates you durge to either embrace or resist the urge?

fear. love. both ways. he never embraces the urge, never. not deep down, at least. he spends the whole span of the game trying to resist. he’s just… not very good at it. his vibe has always been that “as if it’s my fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill” post.

13) how does your durge feel about killing?

horny. jokes* aside, Aeryn is um. more than a little suicidal if i’m being honest. (bear with me) and memory-fucked as he is, that feeling alongside the urge is all he really knows. the belief that life is nothing but one painful disappointment after another is his soul consistent trait. he honestly doesn’t know that life can be more than that. he also doesn’t know that others don’t feel the same. so that’s essentially how he keeps his guilt and shame on a leash. cant be guilty about killing if you see it as an act of mercy.

*it wasn’t a joke at all.

16) what is your durge’s greatest desire?

now this is one i’ve thought about. basically his perfect life would be as the right hand man (executioner or perhaps assassin) and lover (pet) of a great leader who supplies him with many shitheads and sorry bastards to take out his murderous urges on. and have whoever that leader is give him a pat on the head and tell him he’s doing a good job :) and they fuck scary style. (minthara hiiiiii) (yes i am a durgetash exes truther why do you ask)

21) what are two to three songs your durge would relate to?

so glad you asked.

stupid girl by garbage is Thee Signature Aeryn Song to me.

something rotten by placebo

and, as much as i hate to recommend a song by the worlds evilest band, this hurts by msi.

25) how does your durge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

conflicted. he’s like a mascot for his dark urge, and his arrival always means the worst. and yet, he just can’t not fall this silly little freak’s charms.

30) what are your durge’s intentions/goals at the end of the game?

this would be easier to answer if i knew what his canon ending was, but i don’t. i just finished my first ever playthrough earlier today, where he rejects Bhaal and the emperor and becomes a mind flayer and i can safely say that’s not it. (i romanced lae’zel, realised aeryn would be better suited with minthara around the end of act two, and came to the conclusion that this is not his canon run, so i’m just gonna do what feels right and whatever happens, happens) i’ve watched a few videos of the accept bhaal’s gift -> kill the netherbrain -> kill yourself or go crazy and piss yourself ending (which is so unsettling and i really shouldn’t have watched it at 5am) and its REALLY good but. yeah i don’t know.

thanks so much again for asking and letting me talk about my wretched thing. kisses

[blooming-violets]

Pinky Promise Rewrite|| Ch. 1

[TASM Peter Parker x female OC]

Summary: The fate of the one she loves most is put into the hands of a masked stranger, forever entwining their lives. 

Major Overall Series Warnings: 18+ smut, mental health triggers (ptsd/depression/panic attacks/a suicide attempt from a child/trauma), a retelling of forced sexual assault and manipulation, kidnapping of a minor

Chapter One Warnings: suicide attempt from a child, mention of a parent on drugs (heroin) and another in jail, childhood bullying and childhood depression

A/N: This is a rewrite of my very first fic on this blog. The original was written in second person. I wanted to rewrite it properly in third person and write Lucy how I imagined her instead of making her a reader insert style character. I also wanted to add some lost scenes and darken up the tones of how I originally wanted to tell this story. It’s a ten chapter fic. I know it’s going to get hardly any notes, especially as it’s a story I’ve told before, but my brain is telling me that I need to rewrite this. I can’t rest until I do. This one is completely self indulgent. If you want to give it a read, go for it. If not, that’s okay too and I’ll see you again when I post something fresh and new. xoxo Katie

Pinky Promise || Chapter One || The Fall

The heavy vibration of the phone rumbling in her pocket dragged her from distant thoughts. 

Lucy hurried to push open her apartment door, throwing her shoulder against it as it was prone to sticking, and quickly shoved her way inside. She dropped her bag of cleaning supplies on the ground and fished the phone from her apron. 

Dread filled her stomach as she caught sight of the caller id.

“Midtown Elementary Academy”

Olivia’s school. She closed her eyes and slumped against the door with a groan. Not again. This would be the fourth time this week she received a call from them and the ninth time this month. Olivia was on the fast track to expulsion if she kept this up. 

Lucy steadied her breathing, clearing her throat to sound more professional as she answered, “Yes, hello?” 

“Ms. Miller? This is Diane Fleming, Olivia’s teacher.” 

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. Mrs. Fleming always acted as if this was the first time Lucy was hearing of her. They’ve only had this conversation a million times before. Lucy bit her tongue and kept up a pleasant, nonchalant, attitude, “Oh, hello. What can I do for you today, Mrs. Fleming?” 

She listened to the exasperated tones in the older woman’s voice and knew whatever was coming next wasn’t going to be good. 

“I was wondering if you could come in this afternoon? The incidents we have been discussing have become more frequent. Olivia’s behavior is getting out of control. I think it would be best if the three of us could sit down with the school counselor and talk about this in person.”

Her nightmares were coming to fruition. Getting involved with a counselor would only spark more judgment on their little family. At 23 years old, most people didn’t take her very seriously as a caregiver. They’d take one look at Olivia, do the math in their heads, and come to the conclusion that Lucy probably had her when she was around 16. They wouldn’t be wrong except for the fact that Olivia wasn’t her daughter. She was her sister. That nugget of truth would only open up even more unwanted speculation on their lives. It was like she could see their brains churning through the questions they would never dare ask. Were their parents dead or just deadbeats? Should we pity them with sadness for being orphans or pity them with prejudice for having useless parents? Either way, they were constantly being looked down on. 

Lucy sighed, “What did she do now?” 

Olivia was struggling this year at her new school. Second grade had not been kind to her. Midtown Academy was a dream school for them. Being a private school, if a kid wasn’t from a wealthy family, then they needed to seriously impress the school board with their academic skills to have a chance at attending. Olivia was brighter than average. She was reading at a 5th grade level and had a particular knack for sciences and mathematics. Her first grade teacher was the one to recommend trying out for the annual scholarship Midtown offered each summer. It was something Lucy wouldn’t have even considered on her own. With her teacher's help and glowing recommendation, Olivia beat out every other kid for the spot. She won a full ride scholarship. A scholarship that was now hanging on by a thread due to her behavior. This was supposed to be the big break that they needed. If Olivia could succeed here, she could go on to Midtown School of Science and Technology. Her future for colleges and potential scholarships would be even brighter. It was an opportunity Lucy refused to let her miss out on. The alternative was grim compared to this gift they were given. She knew her sister was struggling but this was the best chance she had to give her a decent future. 

The student’s at this school were mean. They came from upper class families. The kind of kids who had everything handed to them their whole lives and never heard the word “no” before. Like sharks in the ocean catching the whiff of fresh blood, they could easily surmise that Olivia was different from them. She became an easy target. The tension only grew and Lucy could see how negatively it was affecting her sister. Olivia was harboring a lot of pent up anger. It consumed her soul until it had no place else to go but out. 

The call on Monday happened because, during art class, Olivia drew a very graphic picture of a classmate being brutally murdered by a man in a giant metal rhino suit. That was an interesting conversation to have with Mrs. Fleming. Lucy tried to argue that it was art class and one can not judge an artist's interpretation on their chosen subject matter. She wasn’t even sure how her sister had heard about the Rhino who once terrorized the city streets. Olivia was only a toddler back then. On Tuesday it was because, during creative writing, she wrote a horrible poem about how she wished her teacher would get paralyzed by a bus. Lucy tried to argue that the children were given a free writing prompt and that the poem was, structurally, very well written. Olivia was merely exercising her creativity and imagination, surely she didn’t actually mean what she wrote, it was nothing more than a misunderstanding. The attempt to cover for her sister was noted but not well received. On Wednesday, Olivia escalated her antics, by cutting off half her long braid in the middle of a spelling test. Lucy had no excuse for that one except that she had been meaning to get her a haircut and maybe she decided to take matters into her own hands. Thursday went by without a call, much to her relief, but it wasn’t until Olivia returned home when Lucy noticed her lip was split open and a bruise was forming on her jaw. Then it was her turn to call the school. They had a lot to say when it came to accusing Olivia of things but were very quiet when the tables were turned. They mentioned something about a brief altercation in the bathroom that afternoon but no student had come forward to take the blame. Olivia refused to talk about what happened or point any fingers. 

Now it was Friday and she was here. Another call. She waited with bated breath to hear what her little sister had gotten up to today. A hundred preplanned excuses rattled around in her head, ready to cover all her bases and, hopefully, give Olivia another extension before she got expelled.  

“Well, Ms. Miller, this afternoon, Olivia dumped a jar of spiders down the back of the young girl sitting in front of her.” 

Lucy’s eyes widened in shock. Shit. That was not something she had an excuse lined up for. How the hell did she collect a jar of spiders? Where did she even get the jar from? Why was this something that she would even think to do? The absurd imagery that came to mind was too much to handle. It was so outrageous of a thought that Lucy had to stifle a laugh. Unfortunately a quiet snort managed to push its way out through her nose. 

Mrs. Fleming picked up on it right away, “I’m sorry but do you find this behavior amusing? Olivia is a seriously disturbed child. Her behavior is unacceptable. We do not tolerate bullying in our school.” 

Any bit of humor Lucy found in the mental image of her sister carrying around a jar of spiders disappeared in an instant. Fire rose in her voice, her patience wearing thin, “What do you mean you don’t tolerate bullying? Liv came home yesterday with a busted lip and bruised face. None of you seemed to care too much about that. You acted like she did to herself! She’s 8 years old. Someone clearly attacked her in the bathroom but, because she’s a scholarship kid and not one of your elites, not a single person cared to look further into the matter. God forbid you find out that one of daddy’s little princesses beat the crap of her. You wouldn’t dare want to accuse a kid who daddy paid for the new gymnasium. It’s easier to take it out on the kid who comes from nothing because then you have nothing to lose.” 

Her anger was getting the better of her. She knew she shouldn’t let herself explode like that. Olivia’s future depended on this school. She needed to play nice but she had been working overtime lately in an attempt to manage the constant pile of bills. She should have kept a better eye on her sister. Too much work and not enough time set aside to check in on her. Olivia was slipping through her fingers. This was her fault. She was a terrible excuse for a parent. 

Mrs. Fleming sighed. Lucy could almost hear her rubbing her eyes with her hands like this entire conversation was draining her energy. “We currently have Olivia detained in the office. The mother of the young girl who was assaulted has been notified and is thinking of pressing charges. It would be best if you could come down here as soon as possible to help us figure out what the next move for Olivia should be.”

Her stomach dropped. Pressing charges? This was worse than she thought. Olivia’s school wasn’t just on the line, her whole life was. If the police got involved then social services would be sure to follow. She hated rich people. They’d have lawyers and police in their back pocket. If they wanted to press charges, her and Olivia would be screwed. 

“Okay,” she mumbled quietly, the fear evident in her voice. “I’ll come right down. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” 

Her snow boots were still on her feet, not having had any time to remove them before getting the call. She threw her winter jacket back on over her house cleaner uniform, tugging a purple knit hat over her blonde hair, and quickly hurried back out the door. Taking the five flights of stairs down to the entrance was the better option than risking the rickety, old elevator. The familiar musky smell of cigarette smoke and urine hit her nose as she barged into the stairwell. She hurried down the concrete stairs, her heavy footsteps echoing off the empty walls, and hurried out into the cold February air. The crisp chill sucked into her lungs, freezing them, and causing her to cough out puffs of misty vapor. Only this morning, her and Olivia were pretending to be dragons, exhaling breaths of smoke, as she walked her to school. She seemed so happy. Lucy never would have guessed she was secretly carrying a jar of spiders in her backpack. Weaponizing insects was not on her list of things she expected to be dealing with this week.  

Anxiety tumbled in a terrible knot in her stomach. She was failing at being a caregiver. Sometimes she thought all she had to be was kind, understanding, and loving. If she could manage that, then everything would turn out fine. Clearly, that wasn’t enough. Olivia needed help. Help that would cost money. Money that they didn’t have. She had no idea how to be a parent. Her role models were terrible. Their father was a monster. He was currently serving life on Ryker’s Island for getting involved in a drug gang run by someone with the alias Mister Brownstone. He’d help cart heroin around to known dealers and skim some off the top for his wife. Their mother was an addict and that addiction was only fueled by her husband. He liked to keep her doped up and sedated. It’s easier to manipulate people that way. 

Lucy grew up in foster care. Once she entered school, it was obvious to her teachers that something wasn’t right. There’s only so many times a little girl can come in wearing the same clothes with unwashed, lice infested hair everyday before they start to tip off social services. She bounced from foster home to foster home. About once every few years her mother would get clean, claim to have left her husband, and was trying to start fresh. Lucy would be placed back in her care. The two of them would live a happy life for about a month or so until her father would find them again and her mother would get hooked right back onto the drugs. Then it was back into the system for her. Eventually she learned to harden her heart and stop relying on parents to meet any basic needs. She could be self-sufficient. She could take care of herself. She didn’t need anyone to help her and she would make something of herself without them. 

Then Olivia was born during her sophomore year of high school. 

She knew she had a sister but she never saw much of her during her infancy. It wasn’t like she was in touch with her mother then. She tried to keep her family at an arm's length so they didn’t ruin her studies. On her 18th birthday, with five months left of high school, her mother showed up at Lucy’s door with a malnourished toddler in her arms. It was clear the child wasn’t being properly cared for. Her dreams of college, all the hard earned money she had saved, all flew out the window at the sight of her sister. Sometimes there are things in life that need to be put aside for the sake of others. Lucy’s dreams and her ideal future were some of those things. She refused to let her sister have the same life as her. She collected all the money she had, dropped out of high school, and rented a single bedroom apartment. She filed for custody of her sister. At that point, her father was already in jail, and her mother willingly signed over her rights. Olivia became her responsibility. 

And she loved it. 

She adored her baby sister. For the first time in her life, someone loved her. Really loved her. Lucy poured everything she could into Olivia. She was determined to give her the life that she missed out on. It was easier said than done. Living in the city was expensive. As a high school drop out, there weren’t many opportunities for decent paying jobs. The housekeeping job she managed to get was the best paying one she’d found so far and they still struggled to pay the bills on time. Olivia was smart. She knew she was different from the kids at her school. They came from wealth, she didn’t. She knew what her life could end up like if she didn’t thrive in this new environment. That was why it was so frustrating for Lucy. She didn’t want her sister to end up a failure. Not like her. 

The sound of sharp sirens yanked her from her spiraling thoughts. Three police cars raced by her. They were driving far too fast for these tight side streets. The wind kicked up as they passed, blowing her long hair in front of her face, and blasting her with an uncomfortable chill that cut straight through her old jacket. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and ran her icy fingers over her frozen nose. There was always something crazy happening in this city. People tend to look the other way now and continue on with their lives. If a mad scientist isn’t directly affecting their path to wherever they need to go, then it is of no concern to them. The police can pretend to deal with whatever the threat is but everyone knows it's really Spider-Man who gets their job done for them. 

Lucy watched with a mild indifference as the cop car's speed down to the end of the street. It wasn’t until they took a sharp left into the school parking lot that her throat tightened. Her limbs felt numb as the pressing anxiety constricted her blood vessels. There could be a million reasons why the police were showing up at the elementary school but none of them mattered. In her heart, she knew. 

Something was wrong with Olivia. 

Her legs were running before her thoughts even had time to process the situation. The icy sidewalks caused her boots to lose traction and she slipped forward, never losing her balance, but growing frustrated that she couldn’t run as fast as she wanted. It felt like she was trying to run in a dream, constantly being held back by an unknown force. 

By the time she rounded the corner to the school, her breath left her lungs at the sight that greeted her. The three police cars had stopped out front. Their wailing sirens were off but the lights still flashed red over all the white, blinding snow in the afternoon sun. A group of people were gathered outside. They each looked up in horror to the school roof. Bile rose in her throat as her eyes lifted to catch what they were looking at. 

Standing three stories in the air, her little black snow boots hugging the edge of the roof, was Olivia. She had climbed up onto the ledge and was staring down at the commotion below her.

The winter wind whipped her freshly cut, short, blonde hair around her face, obscuring it from view. Her skirt uniform blew around her navy tights. She wore no jacket, only her school cardigan kept her from the cold. Even from down below, Lucy could see how violently she was shaking. From fear or the cold, she didn’t know. She looked so small. So fragile. 

A piercing sob ripped out Lucy’s throat at the sight of her baby sister standing so dangerously close to the edge. It was too windy. She was too tiny. She was going to blow straight off the roof if she wasn’t careful. The sound of Lucy’s screamed cry alerted one of the teachers to her presence. He tried to make his way over to her. He tried to reach out a hand of comfort in her direction but Lucy slapped it away. They let this happen. This was their fault Olivia was up there. Someone should have been watching her. Before the teacher could open his mouth to speak, she had shoved passed him and ran straight to the front doors. She could hear someone yelling behind her to stop, that she wasn’t allowed inside, but nothing they could say would ever hold her back. 

She had no idea how to get up to the roof. This school’s layout was unfamiliar to her but she didn’t care. She found the nearest flight of stairs and dashed up, two at a time, as fast as her body would allow. Her feet hardly touched the ground before they were off again. Each flight brought her closer to her sister. As she barged up the last set of stairs, she caught sight of Mrs. Fleming, the principal, and a police officer standing next to a ladder leading up to an open hatch in the roof. They turned when they heard her heavy footsteps swiftly approaching. The melting snow on her boots caused her to slip across the laminate tiles and come to a sudden halt in front of them. 

“This area is off limits,” the officer commanded. 

“It’s okay. It’s the girl’s sister,” Mrs. Fleming quickly replied. Her eyes were filled with tears and fear was etched in every line of her face. “Olivia won’t let us get close to her. Every time we tried, she backed further away. Once she hit the edge, we had to retreat in the hopes that she would come down. She’s threatening to jump.” 

The ever pressing feeling of bile in her throat rose again. Lucy swallowed it back down.

“Move,” she ordered, elbowing them out of her way to get to the ladder. “I’ll get her myself.” 

They didn’t argue with her but the officer grabbed her elbow as she started to climb, “Be careful. Talk to her calmly and gently. Try to get her to move far enough away from the edge until she’s not in immediate danger. We have a firetruck on the way with a ladder but it’s stuck in traffic. An ambulance just arrived and is standing by if she falls-” 

The rest of his words faded into a loud buzzing sound as her hearing abandoned her. If she falls? No. Not her Liv. She wasn’t going to fall. She was going to be fine. Lucy was going to get her and bring her back safely. This was her baby sister. There would be no falling. She needed to get Olivia back into the safety of her arms. She would protect her. She would keep her safe just like she always did. 

Lucy shrugged her arm away from the officer and continued her mission. The old metal ladder creaked under her weight with each step. She tried not to picture Olivia making this same climb. She didn’t want to think about why the hatch was left unlocked in the first place. It would only fill her with anger and she needed to be level headed right now even though her thoughts were buzzing into nothing but a ringing static. Blinding sunlight reflecting off the snow shone into her eyes as she crawled her way out onto the roof. The sky was too blue, too perfect, for any of this to be happening. 

As she clambered onto shaky legs, Lucy looked across the roof. There was her sweet, little sister. Her back turned to her as she looked down at the ground below her. No more than fifty feet from her and, yet, she felt like a lifetime away. Tears sprang to her eyes at the sight. 

“Liv!” Lucy called out, her voice wavering, but trying to remain calm so she didn’t scare her into losing her balance. “Livvy, it’s me. It’s Lucy. I’m here. It’s okay, baby. I’m here now. You’re safe. You’re okay.” She took a few careful steps towards her, the ice under her feet making it hard to stay upright. 

Olivia turned around on the ledge. Her legs shook unsteadily under her. Her lips were blue and shivering. Her cheeks were stained bright red from the wind whipping around her. There were tears spilling down her face. She looked so broken. So scared. All Lucy wanted was to run straight to her, scoop her up protectively in her arms, and carry her far away from here. 

“They want to take me away!” She shouted back. Her tiny voice got lost in the whistling wind drowning her out. “I heard them talking when I was in the principal's office! Ashley said they were going to put me in jail for what I did. She said I was no better than my daddy. She said I would never see you again!” 

Lucy’s heart broke at hearing the pain in her sister’s voice. She guessed that Ashley was the one who got spidered this afternoon. There was no time to contemplate her absolute hatred for that kid. She could save that rage for later. Olivia was more important. Lucy took another tentative step towards her, trying to carefully close the gap between them without being obvious. 

“No one is going to take you away from me, Olivia. I won’t let them. Please,” she begged. “Please, Livvy, I need you to carefully step down, okay? I need you to let me come get you and I will take you away from here.” 

As Lucy took another step forward, Olivia inched back. Her heels now hung off the side of the building. A collective, horrified gasp echoed from the people below. Someone began shouting in a megaphone up at her. The voice got muffled against the howling wind and only added to the stress happening above. She could see the panic start to rise in Olivia’s eyes as they darted back and forth, looking for a way out, but finding none. 

She shook her head with a pained cry, “Stop it, Lucy! Don’t come any closer! Leave me alone! Just leave me alone…I want everyone to leave me alone…please. Please.” Her shoulder shook with quiet sobs. 

Despair and desperation filled her heart, “Okay! Okay! I won’t come any closer! Just stop moving! You need to stop moving, Olivia! I’m begging you. Don’t move. Stay still. We can talk about it as long as you stop moving.” 

Olivia wiped tears from her eyes, her bottom lip shook uncontrollably, “You don’t know anything, Lucy. You don’t know what it’s like to go to this school. I hate these people! I miss my old school. I miss my friends. They were nice. They were like me. Not here. Not these kids. They’re all horrible!” She hugged her wool cardigan tighter around her small frame. “I want to disappear. Go away. Leave me alone. Let me go away.” 

She was breaking her heart with every word. Lucy took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. All she needed to do right now was get her off the ledge as quickly as possible. She’d say or agree to anything if it meant having her sister safe in her arms again. “I hear you, Liv. I hear you, okay? But I’m not going anywhere. I am not leaving. I am never leaving you. You’re my world, Livvy. I need you to come down so we can talk about this. We can’t have this conversation up here. It’s too cold. You’re going to freeze. You don’t even have a jacket. Come down and I’ll bring you home. I’ll make you some hot chocolate. We can make a blanket fort. And we can talk about finding you a new school. Whatever you need, Liv. If you tell me that you want to move the Alaskan wilderness then, fuck it, we’ll move to Alaska! We can do anything you want! But we can’t start that conversation until you let me come get you. I’ll walk over really carefully, hold your hand, and help you down, okay? Let me come over to you. Please?” 

“I’m no good…” Her voice could scarcely be heard over the wind. She sounded so powerless and lost. How could Lucy have ever let things get this bad? “”Everyone told me so. I’m going to be in jail like daddy. I’m not smart. They said I faked my way into this school. I’m a bad person. Even the principal said so. She said I did bad things. Ashley’s mom called the police on me. I see them down there. If I get down, they’re going to arrest me. I don’t want to leave you, Lucy.” 

No eight year old should ever have that kind of weight on her shoulders. She should have been more observant. She should have fought harder for her. Lucy knew she was struggling but she should have realized how bad it really was. She was a terrible sister. 

“I’m sorry, Livvy. I’m so sorry,” she sniffled and offered her sister a sad smile. “I didn’t know how bad it was. Now I do. I’m going to make it better. I’m going to get you some help, okay? The police down there aren’t here to arrest you. They just want to make sure that you’re safe. Once you come down, they’ll go away. I’ll keep you safe.” She inched her way closer as she spoke. “You’re not a bad person, Liv. You’re the smartest kid I ever met. All those other kids are just jealous because you got into this school based on how smart you really are. They had to pay their way to get in. They try to bring you down to make themselves feel better. It’s not your fault. You’re going to grow up and change the world someday but you need to be around to do that. I need you. I need you with me. Without you, I’m nothing. You’re my everything. You’re my family. I promise I will keep you safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” She was so close to her now. Slowly, Lucy reached out a trembling hand for her to take. “Please. Let me bring you home, Olivia. Let’s go.” 

Olivia looked up, locking eyes with her, and gave a soft nod of acceptance. Sorrow burned behind her teary eyes. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. Lucy’s words had struck something in her and she was tired and ready to go home. Her hand reached out to grab onto the one already outstretched. It was so close. Lucy could almost feel her skin against her, her safely just within reach…when a large gust of wind pushed past them. The force staggered Olivia, the ice under her caused her boot to lose its footing. Her eyes widened in fear and her mouth hung open in a silent gasp. 

Lucy watched in pure terror as her eight year old sister tumbled backwards, out of her grasp, and over the edge of the building. 

A heart wrenching scream ripped from her chest as her hand grabbed onto nothing but cold air. 

Time slowed. 

Nothing but the sound of her own horrified shrieks filled her ears. 

One second she had been there, and the next, she was gone. 

Empty space where she once stood. 

It felt like she was wading through waist high mud as Lucy ran to the ledge after her. She couldn’t get there fast enough like the world was trying to hold her back from whatever horrors she would see on the other side. She threw her body across the ledge, the sharp edges digging into her ribs, as she looked down below her. 

Her brain couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. 

Olivia was gone. 

Not dead. 

There was no splattered, tiny body painting red across the white ground. 

She was just…gone. 

No body in sight. 

Nothing. 

Lucy scanned the crowd, the parking lot, even the wall to see if she had somehow caught herself and was desperately trying to hang on. There was nothing. No sign that Olivia had ever been there, as if it was nothing but a horrible dream. She had vanished into thin air. Like she never existed at all. 

The panic gripped in Lucy’s chest and her breath came in short, frenzied gasps. The hysteria numbed her body. Her fingers still tingled with the ghost of Olivia’s hand grazing hers as she fell. She stumbled back from the edge, wide eyed with disorientation, as her legs gave out. The ice below her knees cut through her jeans and dug into her skin. 

“Liv…” she called out meekly. 

She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel. 

A wailed sob got stuck in her throat. Her heart was pounding. Nothing was real. Nothing mattered except Olivia. 

Someone cleared their throat directly behind her. Lucy gasped and whipped her head around so fast that she tumbled onto her backside in shock. The freezing coldness of the roof seeped through her pants and clawed up her skin until she could feel nothing but ice. 

Standing above her was New York City’s very own Spider-Man. Clinging to his chest, her head buried deep into the crook of his neck, was Olivia. 

Lucy’s eyes widened, tears blurring her vision, as relief flooded her veins. Just as quickly as she had vanished from her life, she had reappeared. 

“I thought you might want this back,” he spoke with a muffled voice through his mask as he nodded his head to Olivia. 

Every emotion in the world rushed through her as Lucy scrambled to her feet and threw her arms around both Spider-Man and her sister, squishing her protectively between the two of them. Lucy’s body shook with loud, unabashed sobs. 

She was safe. Olivia was safe. The world was okay again. 

Lucy clung to the two of them. Her head was spinning and she was starting to feel lightheaded. Holding onto his sturdy frame was the only thing keeping her upright. She was terrified that if she let go then Olivia would disappear again. As long as she was pressed between her and the masked man, Liv was safe. Lucy wanted to keep her that way for as long as she could. Her baby girl was safe. 

With a light whimper, she finally let go long enough to collect her sister from her savior’s arms. Olivia released her death grip on Spider-Man and turned it onto Lucy instead, wrapping her legs around her waist, and clinging on like she was just as scared to let go. Lucy sunk to the ground and cradled her against her chest like she used to when Olivia was baby. She brushed her fingers over her frozen face, feeling her, making her sure she was really there. She was cold but she was alive. Lucy quickly shrugged her winter jacket off and wrapped it around her sister. They were both in shock, unable to form any words, unable to move, other than to cling onto each other and cry. 

Safe. 

She was safe. 

Lucy had to keep repeating that over and over again in her head until it finally started to sink in. 

Spider-Man watched quietly, allowing them to have their moment, before finally squatting down in front of them. He reached out a gloved hand and ruffled Olivia’s hair, “I think she’ll be alright. I caught her pretty quickly. I’d still get her checked out at a hospital thought to be safe. I could feel how cold she was through my suit. They’ll want to take her vitals and make sure she doesn’t have hypothermia or frostbite anywhere.” 

The sound of another person’s voice was enough to snap the two of them out of the world they had created between them. Olivia’s eyes welled up with tears. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry! I’ll never do that again. I was so scared. I’m sorry, Lucy. Don’t let them take me to jail!” 

“Hey, now!” Spider-Man shuffled closer to her and placed a hand protectively on her back. “Who said anything about taking you to jail?”

Olivia peeked her head out from Lucy’s chest, looking up at him with wet, scared eyes, “I put spiders down Ashley’s shirt and her mom said I would go to jail for being bad.” 

Spider-Man paused, allowing a beat of silence to settle, then burst out into a loud laugh. It was the most angelic sound Lucy had ever heard. Maybe it was because he had just saved Olivia’s life and, therefore, became the most important man in the world to her but Lucy was filled with a deep love for the masked stranger. His laughter cut through some of her own tension and she let out an unintentional giggle. Call it a trauma response, but suddenly, the thought of Olivia dumping a jar of spiders down some asshole bully’s shirt was the funniest thing in the world to her. Tears of laughter streamed down her face. Once they started, they couldn’t stop. The reality of school bully’s and scholarships felt so small now that her entire perception of the world had shifted. Her sister was safe. She was alive. Everything else pales in comparison. 

Olivia looked between the laughing pair with utter confusion, “What’s so funny?!”

Lucy did her best to stifle the raging emotions and nuzzled her face into Olivia’s hair, “Sorry, baby. I’m just happy you’re safe.” She could feel her body finally start to relax. Olivia was safe. She kept reminding herself of that fact. She was safe thanks to Spider-Man. Her day was unexpectedly filled with more spiders than she ever could have possibly anticipated. She took a deep breath to calm herself. So many emotions in so little time. 

“I bet Ashley deserved it,” Spider-Man replied. She couldn’t see his face but she heard the smile in his voice. “I’m friends with those officers down there. One word from me and they won’t even think about sending you to jail. I won’t let anyone take you. I promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” Olivia reached out a shaky hand to her new hero and extended her pinky. 

“Pinky promise.” 

Lucy watched as Spider-Man locked fingers with her sister. 

“Now let’s get you both down from here and out of the cold,” he said. “I don’t want either of you to freeze to death on my watch.” 

He helped pull Lucy to her feet with ease as she held Olivia close to her chest. His hand rested dutifully on the small of her back, making sure they didn’t slip, as he led them towards the hatch. 

“Mr. Spider-Man?” Olivia asked as she stared over in amazement at him.  

“Please, call me Spidey. Mr. Spider-Man was my father.” 

Lucy rolled her eyes and hid a smile at the joke but it went straight over Olivia’s head, “Okay, Mr. Spidey, will you come over to our apartment for dinner?” 

She hushed her sister, “Absolutely not. He’s a busy man, Liv. He can’t stop by people’s houses for dinner whenever he rescues someone. He doesn’t have time for that. Besides, how can he eat if he can’t take his mask off?” The thought of the famous Spider-Man sitting in full costume with the two of them at their tiny, beat up kitchen table made her smile again. It felt nice to smile.

Olivia gasped, “He can’t take off his mask? Is it glued onto his head? Mr. Spidey, is your mask glued to your head?”

“Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, Liv. I meant he can’t reveal his secret identity. Just drop it, okay?” She sighed. “We have to worry about you first. You caused quite a lot of chaos for such a small child. I’m going to have to do a lot of damage control here.” 

She stopped at the hatch. Down below she could see two paramedics waiting at the bottom of the ladder. 

“I’m going to lower you down now, alright?” She said, “Those nice people down there will help you on the ladder. I’ll be right behind you.” 

It physically hurt her to let Olivia leave her tight grasp but there was no way Lucy would be able to get down while carrying her. She watched, holding back her sudden feelings of panic, as her sister climbed into the arms of the people below. 

Before Olivia fully disappeared, she poked her head back up, “Thank you for saving me, Mr. Spidey. I hope you come visit me for dinner some day, even if your mask is glued to your head.” With that, she ducked back down.

Lucy didn’t want to leave her alone for too long. The idea of her being out of her sight for any longer than a minute was too much to handle. Still, she felt the need to thank Spider-Man herself. He had saved her entire world today. Without him, she probably would have thrown herself off the roof right after Olivia. He was the reason they were still breathing. He was the reason they had a second chance. 

“Thank you,” she spoke softly to him, the exhaustion starting to settle into her bones after the panic she’d experienced. “I don’t know how to express to you what you did today. You saved my sister. She’s my entire world. She’s my everything. You saved her when I couldn’t.” Tears brimmed in her eyes as she pulled him into a hug. Lucy could feel his muscles tense under the suit at the sincerity of the embrace. He gingerly wrapped his arms around her to hug her back, opting to stay silent, but pouring his own gratitude into the embrace. She could tell he was thankful that he was there to save the day, too. 

Her eyes closed as she felt this stranger hold her tightly.

No, not a stranger. A hero. Her hero. 

“Thank you,” she whispered again before placing a soft kiss against his masked cheek. 

With one last grateful look, she pulled away and climbed down after her sister, leaving Spider-Man behind. 

[Chapter Two]

A/N: If you’ve read this far and enjoyed what you read, please give it a reblog! Reblogs make the world go round and help support tumblr writers. It would be very much appreciated. 

If you want to be added to a tag list for this story, let me know and I’ll gladly tag you, but only if you reblog. That’s my new rule. 

[spaciebabie]

*Points* YOU! YES YOU! Tell me about your ocs please. Any oc. The oc you can never design right, or the oc that won't stop changing, Any. Just tell me about your ocs!

GRRRRRRRARAGRGARGA

ANGIE MY BELOVED

this guy.....i have given him the most amount of trauma At The Start. he's already gone (and is still going thru shit) and b/c he's already had it tough he's gonna end up being the wisest person by the end of the story most likely (in his own way)

fuckin this guy's a tech nerd and if i knew more abt computers n junk i would be more specific but thats rlly. all i can say. he makes funny programs, he can code, he makes robots, aaalll that shit!!

fun fact: angie is a relatively new character that ive created for two! he (along w/ness) were not in the original story, but.....kat had like....NO friends and w/all the shit she was gonna go thru she really needed them lol. it also didn't make sense w/her character ta have her have no friends?? at that point in time i was revamping kat's personality cuz i realized she was too much Like Me and I didn't wanna create a self insert lol 😅

ANYWAYS- angie's got the worst of life w/in the last 2ish years, dead dad, depression caused from dead dad, struggling family b/c of the sudden loss of income (at this point in the story his family is more stable, but that's the reason he originally started working at kat's parent's cafe), anger issues caused by depression from dead dad, and on toppa all that, he's in honors classes!! man's has got it tough!!

he's also the eldest sibling in his houshold n has got 5 siblings!! (here's a wip of them i never finished. this would've been his fam 2 yrs ago)

him n the sister he's smirking at are at eachother's throats a lot lol. she's sorta similar ta ness but a lot more blunt. they shoulder the burden of being the eldest, sort of a team but not really? angie takes the brunt of the burden. eldest siblings (me) understand.

he's got ta deal w/being held ta such a high standard n he's constantly under pressure ta succeed, ta do great ta make his family proud, n now that his dad is dead he feels like he owes it ta him ta do well by him.

beyond the sad stuff he had a major caffine addiction that his mother put a stop ta. he had a habit of procrastinating and then pulling coffee fueled all nighters, except now that he cant have coffee anymore he supplements it w/soda (his mother will NOT allow energy drinks he sneaks some anyways tho. ((his mother is not happy abt him drinking sodie)))

he's a meme king and irl shitposter and a very Big Boi (6ft!) he's got a new york accent as well!

fun fact numero dos: angie is one of the several characters who i am completely unsure of their orientation. i feel like he could be the queerest person on the planet and yet also be the straightest most cis-dude ever. idk ik he likes girls thats the most ive come up w/so far.

he loves his friends so much dude!! they've helped him thru so much and he's done so much dumb shit w/them (like The Bruisehouse, of which the trio of kat, angie, n ness is named after. they're still quite famous from what they did in elementary school). honestly he just wants ta relax. you can see that reflected in his clothing choices (yk besides being a sans kinnie n liking utdr) he's one of those kids in middle school who dresses in shorts n short sleeves no matter the weather n is like, "im not cold"

him n kat met first and were bffs b4 they met ness n she was added inta the group, so they're a bit closer in that aspect!

[1kook]

card swiped (3)

→ jeon jungkook x (f) reader

→ Now, Jungkook was never one for romance, far from the sappy type. But why couldn’t he word it more softly, gently? He wasn’t just trying to fuck you, he was trying to… make love.  GENRE romance, smut, teensy angst WARNINGS eventual smut, mentions of sex, virginity plays a huge role OTHER college crushes, childhood friends to lovers, besties to lovers, volleyball player!jk, student council pres!oc, seokjin is 32... and a a coach lol<3 RATING m (18+) WC 1.5k

NOTES (!) seokjin being a hot 32 year old <3 jk gets progressively more dumb as it goes, prayer circle <3 lmk what u think !

[ masterlist ]

The truth is, the reason Jungkook doesn’t lie that much is because he’s terrible at it. 

His mother had found out soon enough who put that dent on the car after a slip-up at the dinner table. His high school coach had learned he had purposely skipped out on practice after an accidental snapchat and jealous teammate had snitched. And, well. Fifteen minutes after the end of practice finds him sitting outside the gymnasium, a grimace on his face as he considers running back to your room and confessing to all his lies. Admitting he’s still a virgin— which was practically of no use to you —and maybe even revealing his own recently uncovered feelings was the easy way out. 

Thankfully, Assistant Coach Kim Seokjin is there to knock some sense into him. The hard plastic of the clipboard they use to outline their attacks smacks him hard over the head, making Jungkook’s bones rattle from his skull down to his toes as he steps up behind him. He whirls around to glare at the perpetrator, only to come face to face with the aforementioned assistant coach. “Go home,” Seokjin says, twirling the gym keys in one hand. “I’m trying to lock up.”

“What’s stopping you,” Jungkook huffs, tucking his knees to his chest, ignoring the awfully rude manner in which Seokjin nudges him away, foot against his back as if he’s just an annoying pile of cardboard boxes in his way.

“What’s wrong with you today?” Seokjin asks casually, doesn’t sit next to Jungkook on the steps because he’s always been a little too posh. According to Taehyung, Kim Seokjin graduated from some elite university in another country with near immaculate all-around player statistics before Jungkook even knew what a volleyball was. His success and fame in the world of collegiate volleyball is why he never wears the standard-issued slippers around the court, always some high-end, luxury brand. One glance slightly to his left has Jungkook meeting the black stripe of the frequently sought after Givenchy sneakers head on. 

He scoffs, a sound that Seokjin doesn’t approve of if the karate chop he lands on the back of his neck is anything to go by. “Ow,” Jungkook flinches, pushing him away with an irritated sigh before eventually slumping over his knees again because it’s the exact same thing you do to him sometimes. Study nights— dates, his brain supplies now —where he begins gazing off into space are filled with numerous karate chops to the neck in an effort to get him to focus on his homework. “Come on, Jungkookie,” you always tease, playful smile, lithe fingers toying with the corners of the pages in your book in a way that was almost sensual. But then he does a double-take because he’s aware of the rose-tinted lens he’s unknowingly slapped over it, something he would have maybe not noticed pre-realization of his feelings. And even he is shocked by the absolute seductiveness his brain inserts into an otherwise innocent memory. He’s pretty sure you haven’t called him Jungkookie in years— was his brain trying to hint at something here?

Jungkook groans, knocking his head against his knees as a form of self-punishment for his lecherous thoughts concerning his best friend. 

But his show of emotions must move Assistant Coach Kim because, after a moment of trying to concuss himself against his own knee, there’s a hand placed on his shoulder that makes Jungkook pause. He doesn’t even bother turning around, just throws his head back to look at Seokjin upside down. He’s got a double chin from this angle. “It’s a girl, isn’t it,” his coach sighs, looking at Jungkook with what can only be described as an unimpressed expression. 

“No,” Jungkook defends even though it’s true. “Can’t I just be sad for oth—“

“I heard Jimin call you a simp on the way out,” Seokjin says rather bluntly. And then he surprises Jungkook a second time as he throws aside his posh status to sit on the dirty concrete steps beside him with a sigh. “What did you do?” 

See, Jungkook could lie here and prance off to deal with his own problems. Leaving Seokjin and everyone else in the dark concerning his personal life was, honestly speaking, the smartest thing to do. He didn’t mind his volleyball teammates and friends (in this case, his coach), but he also wasn’t too fond of being relentlessly teased throughout the entire five or more hours they spent together almost every day of the week. 

But also… 

If what Taehyung had said is true— that being, if Kim Seokjin is the illustrious bachelor who charmed his way into multiple foreign panties all whilst demolishing the spirits of liberos and defensive specialists in another country —then Jungkook needed to capitalize off his presence immediately. 

So he lays his cards out flat. “I… might’ve told my best friend I’d take her virginity,” he blurts out, turning to face Seokjin. For the most part, the older man doesn’t look too surprised. If anything, mildly amused. Jungkook quickly adds, “while also being a virgin.” 

“You’re a what,” Seokjin exclaims, chokes on his own saliva in an admittedly not Casanova, bachelor-esque fashion that ends with him coughing into his elbow and Jungkook hurriedly patting his back. “You?” Seokjin repeats once he’s composed himself. “Are a— don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Jungkook’s cheeks warm. “No, Coach. I do not have a girlfriend,” he emphasizes, because who knew sharing the details of his (lack of) sex life would be this embarrassing? 

Seokjin frowns. “What about that girl?” he asks, and Jungkook raises his brows. “You know the one. Carries around stacks of papers to sign, goes to all the games. The one who pats you on head all the time.” And he’s talking about you, of course he is, but the insinuation that other people might, maybe, possibly, perceive you as his girlfriend makes Jungkook malfunction. 

“She’s— That’s—“ he sighs, dropping his head down until his chin touches his chest, brushed against the lucky necklace you’d given him two years ago during their first trip to Nationals. “That’s… my best friend.” 

Beside him, Seokjin says, “the one you’re gonna fuck?” 

Jungkook lets out a long exhale. “Yes. The one I’m going to fuck.” And it’s so blunt and crude, not that it’s surprising coming from him, but it’s surprising because he’s talking about you. Now, Jungkook was never one for romance, far from the sappy type. But why couldn’t he word it more softly, gently? He wasn’t just trying to fuck you, he was trying to… make love. 

The thought must show on his face because Seokjin snorts. “Well, good luck.” 

And then he stands up and begins walking down the sidewalk and Jungkook can’t spring up fast enough. “Wait,” he gasps, clutching at his forearm. He feels like a dorky character in those dramas you like so much, the ones you force him into watching every time he comes over. Like he’s some disgraced son looking for his father’s approval. Except Assistant Coach Kim is neither his father nor someone he really wants approval from anyway. 

What he does want is pointers. From an experienced pro, if you will. 

Jungkook has to swallow down all his pride as a man to ask his next question. “H- How do I—“

Seokjin beats to it him with a flick to the forehead. “I’m your volleyball coach, kid,” he frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. “Not your sex coach.” It’s a sensible rejection, one that Jungkook expected, but still. He deflates, let’s the weight of the world and his heavy gym bag nearly knock him onto the ground. 

But Assistant Coach Kim Seokjin is kinder than he lets on and, after one annoyed sigh, let’s him in on the secret Jungkook has been chasing for all his life. (Or, well, for the past few hours since he first propositioned you.)

“The key to impressing your partner is to always act like you know what you’re doing,” he tells him, arms crossed over his shoulders. It’s night now, the campus shrouded in darkness. But Jungkook swears a heavenly light shines down on Kim Seokjin just then, a halo appearing over his head when he jabs a finger against Jungkook’s chest. “Confidence is sexy.” 

“Confidence is sexy,” Jungkook repeats, feels like a kid who’s just met his favorite wrestler after years of being an avid fan, watching every match, memorizing every finishing move, collecting every figurine— it’s a little too specific but it makes sense in Jungkook’s case. You would understand this analogy perfectly, having grown alongside him during his iconic wrestling phase (before volleyball). You had indulged him in his interest, had let him practice those Do Not Try at Home moves on you again and again, even when you knew it ended with you bruised and crying, the twin pigtails you used to rock as a kid uneven and messy. But as your best friend, you had let him twist your arm and pin you to the count of three, because that’s what a good best friend did. 

And as your best friend, Jungkook was gearing himself up to completely, thoroughly rock your virgin world. Because that’s what a good best friend did.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[thequibblah]

⭐ honestly there are so many things that I'd likevto ask which is why I want to ask a broaderish question.. How do you approach the characterisation of your "Main cast"? I think you have created some really great complex characters even though they do not exist in canon or even fanon (Germaine in example)

I hope this isn't too broad lol

no, i don't think it's too broad! just let me know if my answer doesn't actually touch on what you were wondering about haha

character creation for me tends to be spontaneous rather than conscious — i.e. i'm just writing my way through a scene and i'm like anyway, these people are new and they're friends or they're dating or they hate each other, and there's rarely a ton of forethought put into it. the vast majority of the ct cast was like that, i would say, except possibly michael, who was the first love interest i invented so there was a little more intention there

(but other than him i was really pulling things out of nowhere for the rest of the students especially — including with emmeline which sometimes surprises me)

the exception is, of course, the main cast. they and sara were very intentional, and i wrote little bio thingies for them before i started even outlining the fic. i mean the non-canon main cast, of course, lol — mary, dorcas (they're both canon but i've invented virtually everything about them, so), and germaine.

i did actually do a lot of hemming and hawing about how many girls there would be in lily's year in gryffindor. as discussed in a previous "my beef with j/k/r" instalment on this blog, the numbers of the hogwarts population really don't make sense at all, so i knew i could be flexible and kind of hand wave any questionable bits away. but the composition of the gryffindor girls was crucial in deciding lily's characterisation, imo — an easy way to convey implied characterisation is to show someone in contrast to the people around them. so: who is lily within the context of her friend group? is she friends with all the girls she rooms with?

separately, i've always liked writing friends in groups of four. in the planning stage of this i was like urghhh it's four girls, the four marauders, is that like too perfect....... and one thing i HATED was that people could then map on each marauder to each girl (lily = james is a bit questionable, though i firmly believe they're much more alike than they seem, but it kind of works.... mary = sirius, dorcas = remus, germaine = peter). and i didn't, and don't, want to make it seem like i've just made vaguely distinct female versions of each marauder!

i've made my peace with that risk, of course, and i think each of the girls is significantly different from "their marauder" (LOL) that it's actually fine — and, better still, if that thought occurs to anyone i hope that their characterisations will go on to provide interesting nuance to the parallels

but, anyway, tangent aside, i love groups of four because i think basically all my life i've had groups-of-four friendships. to absolutely go to bat for us foursomes, it's nice because no single person is the obvious odd one out, and each combination in pairs brings something different to the table — the role that doe plays in the group of four at large, for instance, isn't exactly the same as who she is in her individual friendship with mary, lily, or germaine.

the three main cast members came of some very clinical answers to those initial questions about lily.

one, i have always liked having mary be one of lily's friends, and in my characterisation of her she's obviously a great foil to lily, as a fellow muggle-born student. so, she was a lock.

two, i wanted to write one other canon order character, but i didn't want it to be marlene because in my reading of her canon mention, lily is unlikely to write a letter to sirius with her full name (paraphrasing but "i was so upset when marlene mckinnon died, i cried for ages") or, indeed, write a letter discussing how sad marlene's death made her, if they were besties and schoolmates. i went with dorcas because why the hell not? in developing her i then added all these thoughts

three, i felt the need to make up an oc so i could have absolute freedom over their fate. i had certain preconceived notions about mary and dorcas and what their stories would be, so there were other things (e.g. playing quidditch) that i wanted to have a friend of lily's do that they couldn't. plus, i wanted to write a massive lesbian.

another little sticking point, though, was that i (for a very SHRUG?? reason) didn't want lily to be besties with everyone she's lived with, but i didn't want to insert a catty rival into her dorm either. (now, don't get me wrong, i do love a good rival. i did, after all, write mary and amelia, and i am a known appreciator of carlotta meloni, and i adore TLE's marlene mckinnon. but i wanted the gryffindor girls to be like lily's safe space — a contrast both to her home life and to her recently-strained friendship with snape, where she's spent some time having to second-guess herself a lot. in my mind her friendships with all three of her besties coalesced at various points organically, until she was like wow wait i do actually have a home base here.)

the compromise was someone who was friendly with lily, but there's no strain on that friendship to be more than it is — which, sara and lily respect each other but have also learned they're not so alike that they need to hang out all the time. sara, to lily, is the girl you do things with because you're schoolmates, and then once you're out of school you amicably drift apart and occasionally leave a nice comment on their instagram

so that was how the gryffindors coalesced in my mind as placeholder figures. i will fully confess i start with tropes and then work out ways to deconstruct them or complicate them — as i've talked about in multiple of these questions, i think a lot of my characters are caught between sticking to their perceived label and acting the way they want to, aka the ripest high school drama fodder known to humankind

Wearing a fake smile and watching her sister’s sickening love life had put things in perspective a little. Why should she always do what was expected of her?

(we construct ourselves in contrast to those around us....)

mary started off as boy-crazy, doe started off as idealistic, and germaine started off as struggling to find her place. then i built up from those foundations, adding in tropey bits i enjoyed and wanted to engage with — i wanted doe to be passionately principled, but the gentler counterpart to mary, and even-tempered where lily runs hot. i wanted germaine to be a little bit thoughtless, changeable, someone utterly herself but still uncomfortable in her own skin. knowing, then, that the other two were going to be, how shall i put it, gentler hearts (LOL), i went back to mary and decided she would have this tough-girl, queen-bee persona.

then doe got her family background, which added in her ambitions and hinted at her future, and made it so her foundation would be threatened by events of the story. obviously i was writing mary in the aftermath of the mulciber/avery incident, so i needed to ask how much her take-no-shit vibe was threatened by it — and if not, why? how? unsurprisingly, even to people like amelia...

“At least I’m not overflowing with insecurity,” said Amelia. Mary laughed. The sound echoed through the courtyard. “We both know that’s not true.”

...the persona is put-on, but the "real mary" is so caught up in the invented mary that even she couldn't hope to uncover an authentic self...nor would she necessarily want to, because her affected self is still her...

wait don't get me started

germaine was already a quidditch player, and i wanted her to be a seeker because that's automatic investment in perhaps the single player with the most impact on the game — crucial for what i knew would be many, many quidditch sequences, where james wasn't always the most important pov! some of that seekery vibe leeched into who she is: she's searching, right from the start, for a sense of self that feels just out of reach:

“This year is going to be a year of change,” Germaine said [...] “Henceforth I will be going by... Gemma.” The girls looked at one another for a beat. Then Lily, Doe, and Mary burst into laughter.

she's more anxious and outwardly uncertain than her friends, and i wanted to consciously engage with that — proper teenage awkwardness, the kind that wouldn't really happen to Main Character lily, I Have No Sense of Shame mary, and I Am Overflowing with Good Sense doe. more than the other three, germaine is a normal person in the context of this world — she's not a muggleborn, so the war has a different impact on her; she's not the child of activists; she's not well-off. an absolutely spontaneous invention that i was really quite thrilled by was having her sister be crouch's secretary, because it's such a sudden, shocking realisation for her that she's got such a close connection in the thick of it

Germaine clapped a hand over her mouth. “Big news soon,” she mumbled. “Big news soon, that’s what Abigail said, only she didn’t say what big news…”

so germaine is really just... living her life, an indie coming of age film in which her friends' subplot is a fucking war LOL

i defined germaine in contrast to the other girls a lot when drawing out the characters for myself, mostly for a practical reason — i didn't want her to overlap too strongly with any of them, since she's the only one who's wholly my invention. i think some of that remains in her characterisation, but i decided to make it conscious instead:

Germaine saw herself as a happy medium, flexible enough to stretch sympathetically between her friends. But— What does it mean that I define myself in comparison to them? Nothing. She was only seventeen and she was finding her way.

i knew germaine was going to get the chaotic sporty romance pretty much right off the bat, but, fun fact, i hadn't actually picked out who her love interest would be until after i started spitballing other sixth years' names and had a basic idea of who emmeline was. wild!

i feel like i haven't said all i want to say but let's stop there or i'd go on forever, ha!

[between-two-fandoms]

Carlos Headcannons Because He’s Adorable and Precious.

Hey guys!

 Here’s yet another headcannon list. Feel free to leave an ask with a character you want me to build a list for! I don’t write for OC’s that aren’t mine, smut, or reader-insert fics. They’re just not my cup of tea. I’m open to pretty much anything else though so have at it!

~R

When their mom died he often wedged himself into Julie’s bed and demanded they had sleepovers with pillow forts and large blankets. To their dad’s dismay they’d often pull off the couch cushions and create a tiny cushion building.

He’s really proud of Julie and actually finds rock music really catchy and good, but he’s a petty little brother so he listens to rap whenever he needs to piss Julie off about something.

Flynn’s basically a second sister to him at this point. If there’s something he doesn’t want to tell Julie, he tells Flynn, she’ll keep it a secret. The same goes for Carrie. When she started being mean to Julie Carrie made sure Carlos knew she would still be there for him if he ever needed anything. (Except letting him take her dad’s helicopter out for a joyride.)

He used to be afraid of the dark but lately he feels like there’s something keeping him safe when he sleeps so he isn’t anymore. (there is, it’s Reggie. He thinks of Carlos as a little brother and every night he promises to keep Carlos safe.)

When he finally ends up meeting the guys it’s by pure accident. They pop in one day without realizing Carlos is in the garage and start playing. The squeaking sound of surprise Carlos makes is sort of a mix between a surprised cat howl and a high-pitched bird screech.

The boys instantly adopt Carlos as their little brother and refuse to take no for an answer. They bond over Star Wars and annoying Julie. Carlos is often guilty of stealing Luke’s beanies because kids at school think he looks cool when he wears them.

Carlos creates and becomes the president of the Supernatural Club at his school. They often go on adventures to seemingly haunted locations, and field trips to haunted museums, overnights at haunted hotels, ect. They also sponsor supernatural-themed movie nights at school, which quickly become one of the coolest events the school actually does. The boys often suggest horror movies from the 80′s like Beetlejuice and Little Shop of Horrors. The boys’ll crash the movie nights, lying in the back of the gym and reminiscing.

Carlos is obsessed with Stranger Things and all other supernatural-related media. He often talks during them, questioning the logic behind said supernatural creatures and takes notes.

He’s building a self-help guide with different things the boys tell him about Ghost-World and Caleb’s hotel. Willie often contributes pages upon pages of information, excited someone’s writing everything down. He plans on publishing it one day, hopefully to help someone else who’s being haunted by a ghost boy-band.

Carlos is the one who finds something witchy-related in the studio. He just thinks it’s a cool book his mom owned though, so he puts it back where he found it.

He acts annoyed when Tia has to watch him because he knows she means well, but she often gets over-excited about a lot of things. Secretly he loves it when they spend time together, especially when they play video games or she tells him stories about his mom.

When he gets sad or has a bad day he enters Taco Town and wraps himself up in his blankets refusing to move. Reggie and Julie are often the ones who convince him to play Uno with the rest of the band. (he absolutely crushes them every single time.) If that doesn’t work Reggie tackles Carlos and tickles him until he starts laughing again.

[legendofzelda4life]

Cake and Tears

Hello everybody, this was meant to be for yesterday (day seven).

It’s been a whole week. I hope you guys have enjoyed and will continue to.

Anyway this is a Blue/Red fluff (obvi platonic) I haven’t read the whole Four Swords manga but I have this feeling that Blue would be protective of Red.

Let’s go.

Also TW: mentions of r*pe (ik im an asshole for this plot)

------------------------------

“I swear to Din Vio, shut the fuck up.” Blue said to the calmest of the four versions of Link.

“Why should I? You suck at this.” Vio spoke, watching Blue. “I will not hesitate to kill you, V.”

Blue was holding the knife he was using to cut, yet another, failed attempt of a cake, to Vio’s chest.

“If Vio dies, we all die.” Green said from his seat on the bench.

“Works for me, means I won’t have to see you guys everyday.” Blue looked towards the green clad hero. “And will you please... get the fuck off my bench.” He shoved Green off the bench as he spoke. “You’re an idiot-” 

Vio was cut off by Blue putting the knife back to his chest.

“Fine, kill me, but don’t come crying when you never get to see Red again.” Vio said. Blue’s eyes widened and the knife clattered to the ground. He then crossed his arms with a huff. “I wouldn’t care.” He said.

Lie.

“We know you like Red the most out of the three of us.” Vio said.

“Tch. I do not.”

Lie.

“Oh so you hate him then?” “Yes Vio, I despise him with every part of my being.” Blue laced his words with sarcasm.

“Mhm… turn around.” Vio said with a smirk, causing Blue to turn wearily, scared that Red was there. Instead, he was met with Green holding a perfectly made cake.

“Man! Fuck you for being able to cook.” Blue said with a laugh, taking the cake as it was shoved into his hands. “Yeah, yeah. Now go cheer up Red.” Green said.

“Do I have to?” He whined. If he was being completely honest, which he hated doing by the way, he’d tell them he loved making Red happy.

But that would ruin his reputation.

“YES!!!” Woah, a response from both of them.

Scary.

“Why?” He asked.

“You’re the only one that can cheer up Red when he’s like this.” Vio said, shoving a drink into Blue’s arms before pushing him out the kitchen.

Blue walked down the hall towards Red’s room, beginning to ponder. If he loves Red’s personality, is this self love? Or friendship? Blue ran out of time to think as he arrived in front of Red’s door.

“Red?” He called for the hero.

“Mmmmmmm.” Red groaned from inside the room. No, not one of those groans, you perverts. It was the ‘bitch-I-just-woke-up-fuck-you-want?’ groans.

“Can I come in?” “Yeah.” Red’s voice was hoarse. How much had he been crying?

Blue opened the door and walked in. Red was on his stomach but was facing the door.

“I brought cake?” Blue was so weary, the statement sounded more like a question. “Put it down and get out.” Red rolled over.

“Wow okay, I understand I was pulling Green’s voice but I really thought the tunic would give it away.” Blue said. Upon hearing his voice, Red sat up. “Cuddles?” He asked, reaching his arms out. Blue chuckled. It was quite adorable when Red was like this. He had always acted younger than the other three heroes but it was cute sometimes.

“Of course.”

Red excitedly moved over and patted a spot on the bed, where Blue layed with a chuckle. Red immediately cuddled into Blue, wrapping his arms around the others waist. “Wanna talk about it?” Blue asked. Red shook his head.

“I just want cuddles. Just let me stay like this for a while. Blue nodded silently before hugging Red back. They must’ve sat there for hours, even laying down at one point.

Suddenly Red shot up, looking around frantically, before pulling his knees to his chest and crying.

“Red?” Blue asked, reaching out for the other hero. He flinched slightly. “Sorry, sorry. It’s fine. I shouldn’t be crying. Go back to sleep” Red rubbed his face with one hand, removing his tears as he layed back down. What caused this? How often did it happen?

Was it every night?

Blue didn’t know. But what he did know was that, if Red putting his face into Blue’s chest and hugging him was anything to go off, he was really upset.

“What happened?” Blue himself didn’t even know what he was asking about. Was it about why Red was sad? Or was it about the dream?

“What?” Red asked. (this is where it reloaded the first time)

“What made you upset?” Blue asked, rubbing circles on the red-clad hero’s back. Red tensed up and Blue could basically feel the boy’s blood run cold. “You don’t have to tell me.” He blurted out quickly. “No, it’s okay.” Red took a deep breath in. “Remember that guy I was dating?” Blue nodded in response. He didn’t know too much about the guy, except the moment everyone layed eyes on him…

Blue and Vio did not like him.

Well, in Blue’s case, that’s underestimating it.

Blue hated - absolutely despised - the guy Red was with.

Vio thought it would have bad consequences once they go back together as Link but Blue just hated him. (i cant think of what to name him lmao)

“H-he- he…” Red’s voice became small. “He... did stuff to me Blue.” His voice rose back to it’s normal tone after this. “I didn’t want it. But afterwards, he left without a word.” Red broke down again. 

Red was…

No, Blue didn’t want to believe it…

He couldn’t believe it…

How did Blue let this happen to one of his counterparts?

Let alone his favourite?

At this point, Blue had no doubt he was radiating heat considering how much that made his blood boil. He didn’t say anything, scared he would upset Red further, and just let the other boy cry into his chest.

“You wanna talk to Green or Vio?” Blue asked. Red shook his head. “They’ll be mad at me. I knew you and Vio didn’t like him but this? This would disappoint Green too.” Red hugged Blue tighter. “How did I let this happen, Blue? It’s my fault isn’t it? I never wanted it so he just did it...” Red trailed off, eyes full of terror as he recounted whatever events may have occurred.

Seeing that look on his face caused Blue to snap.

“None of this is your fault! He was an asshole that took advantage of you and I’m about this close to beating the absolute shit out of him!” Blue roared, jumping to his feet. “Your fingers are touching…” Red said, realization dawning upon him. “Exactly.” “Blue, no.” The boy wanted to argue but if Red said no, Red means no.

And unlike someone… Blue respected that.

“Okay.” He sat back on the bed, Red sitting next to him.

“What about the dream?” Blue asked. Red became extremely quiet. Blue turned to see the boy with tears running down his face, huddling further into Blue’s side. “You don’t have to-”

“Promise you won’t ever leave, Blue. Promise me!” Blue was surprised by Red’s words. Was the dream really that bad? “I promise I won’t leave you.” He said, looking the other hero in the eyes. “Good.”

Red fell asleep soon after but Blue couldn’t even close his eyes.

Blue had a plan but wanted to wait for Red to be okay with it first

Green walked in the room slowly.

“How is he?” He signed, wanting to be quiet. Blue put his hand sideways and made an ‘eh’ motion. Green just nodded slightly before walking back out.

A few days later

“You still wanna beat the shit outta him?” Red asked. The boy’s mood had brightened little by little over the past few days. He had decided to tell Vio and Green, with Blue’s help of course.

“Yes, but I wanna be the only one.” He looked to Green and Vio who didn’t object. Was his protectiveness of Red really that obvious? Probably. Did he care? No.

Blue stormed into the guy’s house.

“Oh hey Blue, where’s your brother?” Blue had actually forgotten they introduced themselves as siblings. “Not here.” Blue snarled. “Oh what a shame, it’s so cute when he begs for me to stop. Y’know-”

Yeah, Blue just punched this guy in the face.

“Stop. Fucking. Saying. Shit. About. Red. You. Fucking. Asshole.” With each word, there was a punch. Blue was holding the boy by the collar and was relentlessly bashing his face in. He then threw the guy at a wall, a sickening crack emitting from his, already broken, nose.

Blue then got on the ground next to him and kept throwing hits.

“You fucking piece of shit! What the fuck gave you the right to do that to Red, huh?!?!” He was fired up. Given, the guy probably couldn’t respond, but Blue was venting.

He was continuously punching the guy over and over, rebreaking already broken bones from the first few hits. The guy ended up with a shattered cheekbone, the other one also broken, an unhinged jaw, a broken nose, a black eye in the first stages of forming, a few missing teeth, and, no doubt, more than two broken ribs.

Blue dropped him to the floor.

“Fuck you.” He seethed through his teeth before walking out.

Let’s just say, nobody asked why Blue was covered in blood that, obviously, wasn’t his.

END

-----------------------------

This was a rollercoaster of emotions for me to write lol. I’m sorry if this triggered anyone in anyway. 

I hope you guys at least enjoyed Blue beating the shit out of the fuckboy lmao.

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUESTS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

[soaringlark]

Pokémon vore thougts (mostly talking about my old story)

Okay so... I've been thinking a whole lot about pokémon, because I'm shiny hunting all day long. So, I might as well post some thoughts I have had about some pokémon in vore scenarios since I was a child.

Onix... I really hecking loved the idea of Onix as a pred when I was a kid! It was my favorite pokémon to think about when making vore stories in my head. I used it in a self-insert story, but I sadly lost that story when my first computer was thrown out... It would have been fun to read again...

Anyways! I know it doesn't have a good shape for vore, but it just has a special place in my heart from my childhood... My little brain (still small brained, but-) just went "Big snake! Good for being eaten by!" Also for a while my brother and I couldn't decide if it was a worm or a snake. We didn't speak english, so it's understandable.

Urgh, I can't stay on the topic of vore... Back when the Sinnoh anime was airing, I would imagine Dawn from the anime getting eaten an Onix and Ash saving her. I remember my thoughts about vore didn't go further than dark. It was kind of just a void inside the Onix...? I wasn't that old at that point.

The thing from the self insert story was just "oh, she fell asleep because of a hypnosis that was meant to hit the Onix and was eaten, but then she was rescued" without any details, just explained afterwards, and probably word for word from above... Except it was in danish and probably misspelled and I used "you" because someone was speaking to her.

I think my later favorite was Arbok, simply because of those snake pokémon vore comics. I had a scene in the same story, where it spoke like "thisss" and he wanted to eat my insert's (let's call her Lark) friend Maria, but he settled for her instead, because he could get her. Also Lark could suddenly talk to pokémon or something.

I know this more about my story than vore, but this is sort of interesting for me to think about. Maria also had really big Tyrantrum. Like double normal height, because I thought it was too small. Maria had a rival who wanted her to kill Lark, but she refused and tried to trick him by getting Tyrantrum to pretend to eat Lark by holding her in his mouth.

Before that... I also had an almost vore scene when a Gyarados. It was something about Maria stepping onto its tail and she was flung into the water and Lark jumped in after her. I don't remember who exactly this happened? I think her Croconaw evolved to save her and Lark. Or just her... I can't even remember if Lark actually jumped in, but I think she did and there was a guy named Thomas who helped them later, and... I think I shipped him with Maria? I would never do that now; I'm too gay for that. I actually think I did make Lark and Maria fall for each other, but that was when she was more separated from me.

I should also talk about the fact that I had another pokémon I really LOVED the idea of pred Yveltal. I was so sad there was barely any content of that pokémon... I had an entirely other OC for that and her name was Signe. I lost her too, but I have bits of her story, because I wrote some of it on paper. Besides the point.

I used him as a character that wanted to kill Signe. She could speak with pokémon from the start and she was a typical Mary Sue character (which there's nothing wrong with! How else would I learn?) People thought she was witty, but she had no more wit than me, a literal 12-year-old, and like I just said, she could speak with pokémon.

Also because I didn't really understand the concept of life and death, she was protected by Xerneas (which I pronounced like X-er-neas) and her enemy was Yveltal, like I said. She had nightmares about Yveltal a lot, like a randomly prophetic Mary Sue does.

I'm so tired...

Basically he chases her down the entire story until the point I quit, where he has just eaten her and spat her back up. I had a better grasp on how stomachs worked at this point.

I think I'll post some more actual vore thoughts tomorrow, but for now this is it.