#i love loyalty that leads people do to terrible things and that makes people Bad

[sarioh]

as someone who has been here since last life i think it's awesome how many newer ethubs enjoyers there are these days but ill admit do sometimes wonder whether we watched the same series LOL. 90% of the stuff i see about last life ethubs these days seems to be pure fluff which i understand bc of the whole he loves me scene but like. did we all just forget about the part where they got 6 people killed for each other . about how many lives they took from their friends for each other. about how etho prioritizing his own survival cost him bdubs' life in the end and drove away their closest allies. they were selfish and evil and toxic and traitorous and mutually destructive and PETTY and sucked so unbelievably bad at communicating or being sincere and it's awesome. they literally showed affection by threatening to kill each other constantly. like they were terrible together and genuinely some of the worst guys in that entire series and maybe it's because there's something wrong with me but i think that's what made them so compelling

[animeyanderelover]

Anon: How would yan chuuya, jouno, light, megumi and gojo react to a darling that just doesn't care that they're yanderes?

I already did a similar concept with Chuuya before but I added him nonetheless because I wrote this with a darling in mind that is even fine with the Yandere killing

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, clinginess, isolation, murder

Tags: @maggiequinn59 @shumidehiro @leveyani @izanami78 @lovley-valentine7

Darling doesn't care that they are obsessed

Yagami Light

✍️Light takes the information very well, a pleased grin on his lips when he realises that none of the things that he does seem to bother you. It’s a sign of submission from your side, something that could only ever please a man with a god complex like he has. This is how it should be after all. You should know your place and love him utterly and completely for the perfect being that he is. Light has done some terrible things in the name of his proclaimed love for you, things that he believes he has the right to do as no one is allowed to steal the person away from him that he plans to keep by his side after he has become the New God. Stealing what belongs to a deity is nothing short of a sin. A sin that has to be punished with death itself. After having confirmed that his feelings for you haven’t scared you nor have some of the actions that he has committed which you were aware of, Light starts truly testing how far your adoration and your dedication go for him. He reveals his ideologies, his mission, his identity to you as well as the future he plans to have with you all whilst you remain loving and loyal. Oh, you are indeed worthy of ruling this world alongside with him. He chose wisely.

Nakahara Chuuya

🟠Chuuya tends to let his delusional side get the better of him yet upon initial discovery that you truly don’t care about his behavior as long as he keeps on loving you and treating you well, the Executive is a tad bit concerned. Are you sure? You’re really fine with all of this? He’s in the Port Mafia, he’s killed people for you even. It’s just hard to believe that you accept all of it as gracious as you do to the point where Chuuya wonders if you’re trying to trick him. That distrust remains for a while even if you give him no reason to doubt you. Paranoia is rarely soothed by logic after all. Once Chuuya has been convinced that you truly mean it when you say that you don’t care about his obsession he gets undeniably more delusional though. If you don’t mind his obsession after all he can’t possibly be as bad as he thought he was. He starts indulging in his obsession for you more and more as you basically give him a free pass, asks of you to move in with him so that he can protect you better all whilst spoiling the living shit out of you. He doesn’t really have to hold himself back as much anymore which leads the Executive to turn his possessive behavior up quite a bit. You won’t mind after all.

Jouno Saigiku

♦️For Jouno this knowledge is a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand you are easier to deal with, don’t throw any tantrums which could get on his nerves and show quite a level of obedience that deeply satisfies his possessive side. The composed sound of your heart doesn’t overwhelm him but sometimes he also finds himself getting bored. Don’t forget that this Hunting Dog is still an utter sadist after all who would love to listen to the melody of your frantic heartbeat once in a while. After all it’s quite unspectacular for you to be so monotonous with your behavior and your acceptance all of the time. As much obedience and acceptance you may give him after all, it is all for naught if Saigiku doesn’t have control over you by having you fear him. Loyalty and love are not enough in his mind, not if there isn’t fear that weights you down and has you carefully thinking about every stupid decision you might make. The sadist inside of him is truly talking out of him with this desire yet Jouno never attempts to restrain his actions. Since you’ve already taken so well to everything that he’s done so far he’s sure you won’t mind learning how to be a bit scared of him~

Fushiguro Megumi

💙Megumi’s silent paranoia has led him to justify his overprotective and somewhat overbearing behavior most of the time yet there is a shred of awareness still left somewhere inside of him. It is this last shred of sanity that is the only thing letting him know that you shouldn’t think this way, that you should be scared of him. Perhaps you’re trying to trick him? Something holds Megumi back from believing you when you first admit it to him, almost accusing you of trying to fool him so that he lets his guard down. The moment you manage to convince him though that you are speaking the truth the last shard of awareness shatters and leaves him thoroughly led by his paranoid and overprotective instincts. Of course he trusts you. It’s everyone else that he doesn’t trust though. So you two better spend time alone with each other where others won’t be able to bother the two of you. When he isn’t with you, try not to leave the house. If you do, please contact him and let him know where you are, what you are doing and when you are back home again. No, he isn’t overbearing and overprotective. He only wants to ensure your safety, wants to know you’re safe.

Gojo Satoru

🩵Gojo totally eats your behavior up as soon as he knows that you really don’t mind his overbearing, clingy and paranoid attitude. This man has no restrains to begin with as he never holds his affection back but everything becomes even more gross for the people forced to watch as soon as you indirectly give him the free pass. The man is thrilled, constantly smothers you in love and presents and he quickly pushes this relationship to move in the direction he wants it to go. You quickly find yourself moving in with him as it takes him little to no time to convince you, you find yourself spending an almost overwhelming amount of time with him as he gets quickly jealous when you pay attention to others as his possessive and needy nature quickly cages you in. You’re compliant, you’re sweet and you love him for the person that he is which only pushes Gojo to cling tigthter and tighter to you. He finds comfort in you, he finds his peace when he’s with you and he only confines his pain and his feelings to you. You know him. You understand him. You love him. For those reasons he will never let you leave him nor will he ever let anyone lay a finger on you.

[arliedraws]

Hello, I wanted to know your opinion on...If Dumbledore had known regulus death circumstances....would he have reconsidered his Sirius trust issues? Because I don't understand ....why he would do that to him....Harry is really a weapon to him...and still got attached to....he says so when he explains after Sirius died...can you believe this man....Harry just went through such a harrowing experience...and he says to that boy...sorry for getting attached to you...I can't...it just burns in my memory and crawls back up unexpectedly...to leave me more in melancholy. Sorry for ranting...I just thought you might have good insights into it.

PS: loving all your art btw...keep it coming.

Aw, thank you!!

Hmm. Let me piece together what I think you’re asking about.

1.) If Dumbledore had known about Regulus’s death and attempt to destroy a Horcrux, would it have changed how he saw Sirius? Would he have trusted Sirius?

The first thing to consider is that Dumbledore, like anyone who would have known both brothers, would have seen the Black brothers as two completely different people. Dumbledore’s thoughts about Regulus would not have influenced his opinions of Sirius. By the time Sirius had left Hogwarts, there is little evidence to suggest Sirius and Regulus ever saw each other again—they were done with each other. The second, I don’t think Dumbledore distrusted Sirius so much as he saw him as a liability. Sirius did everything Dumbledore asked of him and never gave Dumbledore a reason not to trust his loyalty.

2.) Here is my full disclosure: I really like Dumbledore as a character. I love that he is the other side of the good/evil coin—like Voldemort, he demands loyalty, he cannot fathom that someone would betray him, and he preys on the most vulnerable people to do what he believes is right. When I was in grad school and learning about teaching climate change literacy, I read an article that suggested that a movement of activism is most likely to succeed when the leader of the movement has great ambition and also an emotional detachment from those people that they lead. You must inspire loyalty but have the strength to carry on when your fighters are wounded or die. This is a callous, terrible way to live—but does this not sound like Dumbledore?

Dumbledore is cruel in his ability to overlook deaths caused by the Movement. For Dumbledore, when an Order member dies, he rarely needs to do more than mourn and say, “At least they died doing something noble.” Besides, Dumbledore does not fear death—this is what he sees is his advantage over Voldemort who, as we know, fears death above all things.

Suffering, however, upsets him. Why doesn’t he ever check in on Harry? Because he would have to admit that Harry was suffering. Why not tell Harry the truth? Because he cannot bear to see Harry bear that weight, and he would rather shelter Harry from the truth to spare him this suffering (and haha doesn’t he wait until he’s dead to ‘tell’ Harry that Harry must sacrifice himself?) . Dumbledore avoids seeing pain when he can because he is empathetic but cannot afford to be (at least, so he believes). Dumbledore loves Harry very much. He fights between being the leader he believes the world needs and his natural inclination to care about people.

I love when people have such personal, visceral feelings about liking and disliking characters, but your local literature teacher here really hates to designate a character as a “bad person” vs. “good person.” Dumbledore is neither. In the series, he demonstrates great kindness and great cruelty. That is the ENTIRE point of Deathly Hallows. Any single person is capable of being terrible.

We often consider Dumbledore’s cruelty because of how he treats our favorite characters, but also consider the things he did because he felt a sense of empathy—he saved Sirius even though it would have suited his cause to let the Dementors Kiss him; he even saves Buckbeak too (does he make children do it? hahaha yeah, so still a complicated thing). When we look at this action, neither Sirius nor Buckbeak’s survival serve Dumbledore—they are both, essentially, useless to him. Yet he cares for the people around them and hates to see the people who love them suffer.

Is this a Dumbledore defense post? Abso-fucking-not. He doesn’t need defending. The thing that makes him interesting is that he GENUINELY cares about people but forces himself not to. Isn’t that fucking delicious? It’s so twisted and awful and fascinating. Dumbledore fears love as much as he lauds it—love can make you lose your way; love can distract you. He loved Grindelwald. It was love that drove Harry and Sirius apart. Love is what killed James and Lily Potter. Love killed his sister. He recognizes the power of love because it is LOVE that has always been his downfall. Yikes!

Anyway, this got much longer than I anticipated. Thank you for the ask—it made me really think about why I appreciate Dumbledore as a character!

[unseemingowl]

The Bear and the daily struggle of leadership

Look, we all know it, there are tons and tons of things to love about The Bear. The sharply drawn characters, the way it deals about trauma and addiction and what makes family and community. 

For me personally though, the thing that makes it the most special is the way it portrays the difficulty of leadership and building a good work place.  

I seem to have watched very few tv shows or movies that aren’t about the military that actually takes a long, hard look at this, and that’s usually through an ultimately heroic lens. Though of course, one could say that working in the food service industry is a lot like doing battle, but that’s another discussion. Fact of the matter is that a lot more of us are gonna to go through a kitchen than active duty.

I’ve been a union rep and am still active in the politics at my place of work – and I also write a lot about leadership and management in my current job – so this shit is important to me, and the Bear does it so fucking well y’all. Like so fucking well.

In the Bear we’re shown three different sort of leaders. Mikey, Carmy and Carmy’s former boss in New York. Or what I’d for the purposes of this will call leading through friendship, leading through respect and leading through fear.

Mikey makes confidants of his employees, just like he makes best friends with everybody. That inspires loyalty for sure, but he also does not help them grow, in fact more than once he causes them to demean themselves. Carmy’s former boss pushes his employees to offer their absolute best, becoming the best that they can be, but he also bullies them so terribly that they leave his kitchen traumatized, and gives Carmy the desire to do things differently. Not put others through that.

Honestly, it's amazing how much leadership skills get undervalued considering how many of us have tried what it feels like being at the mercy of a bad leader. Just because you’re good at your job, does not automatically mean you’ll be a great leader of people. A common misconception, one that I see a lot of in my current industry, and other high pressure and/or creative industries. 

But in the Bear, Carmy does actually does make a decent go at it. He proves himself to his employees, teaches them new skills - from his second in command Sydney to the fresher Marcus, delegates responsibility, lifts them up when they fuck up, but he is also willing to assert his position in the hierarchy. He really does so much right, shows that he does seem to have the aptitude for it.   

And he also fails. Fails hard.

Because leading is fucking difficult. And that really is the trick here. I always wanna tear my hair out when people act like whipping an organization or a company back into shape is just about instituting a few new codes of conduct and get rid of one bad apple in the basket.

Sure, those things will help, they’re good first steps, but leadership is putting in effort every day. It’s consciously making the right choice all the time. Because falling back into known patterns is so easy when things get tough.

When Carmy gets put under real, serious pressure, when shit hits the fan, he falls back into what he’s seen before. Screaming, berating, bullying. Because that’s easier. Because he’s human, and even the most well-intentioned people fuck up.  

Carmy’s lucky that he has put in effort before that happens. He’s given his employees a taste of what kind of leader he can actually be. Given enough that they’re willing to come back.

And fuck, I can’t wait to watch the next season to see what kind of leader he’ll be now with that vote of confidence. 

Hopefully his journey can inspire others like him. 

[livia-dovehallow]

26 for gabrily

26. What would you describe as OOC?

I've talked at great length with @zoyalannister about what is OOC for Gabriel so I have lots to say!

So I'll start with him.

I think the number one thing that is out of character for Gabriel would be any kind of infidelity or unfaithfulness. Loyalty is his defining character trait, both the good and the bad of it, so it just isn't in his nature to be a cheater or turn his back on people he loves (even if it comes at a cost).

The best example of this is CP and CP2: he quite literally does not finally realize the error of his father's ways until the literal last second because he values loyalty to his family name above all else and wanted to believe his father so he did. This came at the cost of further straining his relationship with Gideon. All of CP2 is Gabriel struggling to reconcile what he used to know with his new reality and in the end, realizes that loyalty doesn't have to be a flaw, and it becomes his best quality because he now recognizes who is deserving of his loyalty and who isn't.

This leads into something else I think is out of character for Gabriel: being a bad husband/father. For one, it just isn't true. But also, as we see from TLH, he has a great relationship with his kids and his marriage is strong (almost always mentioned to be seen with Cecily and Alex, and Anna and Kit always have positive things to say about their parents).

It would be out of character for Gabriel to be a bad husband and father because of all the growth he had in CP2 to unlearn everything his father had taught him about right and wrong. Benedict was a terrible husband and mediocre father (I think he loved his kids, ultimately, but had quite strict and morally ambiguous teachings for them). Gabriel's arc is one of the best I've ever read, and it makes no sense for him to turn out to be anything other than a faithful husband and loving father.

He'd learn a lot from Gideon, of course, and he and Cecily would aspire to be the kind of parents their children feel comfortable around--and I'd argue they succeeded. Out of all the TLH kids, Anna and Kit are the only ones who feel they can be themselves fully with their parents. Everyone else lies or hides some part of themselves for whatever reason. (Yes, Anna hid herself for a while, but we see in EET that they knew for a while before she said anything, but by TLH, she's herself, even with her romantic turmoil).

Now, Cecily!

To me, something that would be massively out of character for her is (unfortunately) apparently canon (but we ignore that around here). She'd never be one to remain docile and delicate. In CP2, her character arc shows her accepting and embracing that she feels alive when she fights and that being a Shadowhunter gives her the purpose she'd always wanted. This doesn't take away from the fact that Cecily is also a romantic and did want to find love and be a mother. These two things can (and do!) exist at once. Cecily is girly, and loves love, and also enjoys throwing knives and killing demons.

Maternity leave aside, I think Cecily would have fought as an active Shadowhunter until her body actually gave out on her in old age. Being a fighter is in her blood, she's naturally gifted at it, and I don't think she'd give it up, even as a mother (especially when her children also are Nephilim and fight just as she does).

Something I love about Cecily is how she can be witty and impulsive but also quiet and thoughtful. We see this a lot in Gabriel's internal monologue in CP2 (lol). He observes that she can actually be quite different from her brother and is entirely her own person away from him, which not many people consider of her since she is young and they knew Will first. Cecily also, in her own POV in CP2, described herself as lonely and observant.

Because of this, I think something out of character for Cecily would be to self-isolate. She grew up lonely, always being keenly aware of others and their emotions, but no one ever paid her any attention because they were so absorbed in their own issues and thoughts. Now that she's found and created this new family of hers, she's blossomed, and I don't think she'd ever want to go back to feeling lonely, especially not doing it to herself. She'd seek out the comfort or company she desires because now she is surrounded by people who do pay her attention and will listen to her.

Thanks for asking!

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Okay so big fucking spoiler here

But

How sad is it that we all thought too highly of mikey?

People looked for various reason why it could be more or less at least a little bit justified what happend - like we all were so sure that mikey isn't that bad

But he is. Excuse me but why did baji even bother to stay friends with him.

This is so fucked oh boi

I agree we did tend to make a lot of excuses for Mikey while theorising about this. Like it was an accident, he thought Sanzu was going to hurt Senju etc (well apart from the towel theory, that was just Mikey going feral over a towel.)

However I actually think that what he did was justified at least to Mikey anyway. From an adult perspective it seems like a super overreaction but Mikey wasn't an adult, he was a child. Not only a child but a child who didn't seem to have any good parental figures around him to properly teach him right from wrong. Yes he had Shinichiro (who was a child himself) but from what we see of Shinichiro teaching Izana, he wasn't exactly a good influence.

He also had his own life to lead and shouldn't have been responsible for Mikey.

Anyway back to my point, Mikey was a child who had just spent a lot of time building his toy, he clearly cared about it a lot. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, most people had a special toy which they loved as a child. Then he walks in to find one of the things he cared about most broken on the floor. So he gets angry, again a justified response. Now Mikey doesn't seem to know how to handle his anger which is where his dark impulses seem to come from. So instead of talking it through or dealing with it in a mature way he lashes out, let's his emotions get the better of him. Which is when he attacks Sanzu. Now I'm not saying he was justified in doing that, of course that's a complete overreaction and Mikey did a terrible thing. However I can understand the emotions he was feeling and why he lashed out like that. I'm not trying to defend Mikey here just figure out why he did what he did.

As for why Baji stayed I've seen a couple of reasons including it being out of fear, loyalty and understanding Mikey's pov. I personally believe it's a mix of the last two, hopefully we'll get an explanation but I wouldn't be suprised if they skip over it.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

Di Huang Shu (aka AnLeZhuan/Legend of anle) book rec

There is no real translation of it (there’s an ongoing one though) but my advice is to just jump right into the MTL because the story is SO WORTH IT. There’re confusing bits ngl but it’s easy to look past that and understand the whole story about a determined, ruthless, clever, badass and very intelligent young girl (she’s freaking eighteen!) looking for justice in the name of her whole murdered clan and army.

The story is full of plot twists, heartwrenching moments and truths, with likeable and brave side characters, villains that you come to understand somehow and a wonderful, handsome, righteous, benevolent, wise and selfless male lead who would do literally anything for the person he loves (i.e. the heroine). At the center of it all, this is a super angsty and beautiful love story with a well deserved happy ending.

What is it about?

Plot starts with female bandit Ren Anle attracting or distracting everyone’s attention by proposing marriage to the Crown Prince, looking to be the Crown Princess, a position that is taboo in court since the late emperor’s last decree named one, years ago, before her whole family was killed because of treason; while her life was pardoned, she was exiled and basically imprisioned. You may guess where this is going. Ren Anle says her 30,000 troops ( ?can’t remember if I have that right) will be surrendered to the Emperor and he’ll basically have her complete loyalty and obendience in exchange for his son’s hand in marriage lol. Crown Prince HanYe doesn’t accept (neither does the Emperor because his son is just too precious to marry a vulgar bandit) but Ren Anle makes it to the Court anyway, as a minister (eventually becomes a General). What I love is that she never disguises herself as a man, everything she accomplishes, she does as a woman, which makes her even more awesome.

While investigating a couple of cases and cleaning up some corruption at court, Ren Anle and HanYe grow close and end up falling in love. Ren Anle denies these feelings for most of the story but the Prince is very aware of them which causes him to torture himself a bit as he believes he’s being unfaithful to his Crown Princess, faraway in exile. I gotta say that makes for some delicious angst and pining.

After some intrigue, confusion, ANGST, some near-death situations, more angst and a slip-off on RenAnle’s part, HanYe eventually comes to learn that the woman who spent all those years exiled and trapped isn’t his real Crown Princess DiZiyuan, but an impostor, put there so that the actual Ziyuan could escape. She then changed her name to Ren Anle, who waited and planned for a decade the perfect revenge against the Emperor who framed and killed her family and army of 80,000 soldiers in cold blood.

However, there’s a little flaw in her plan that she didn’t see coming: HanYe. All the times in the story where she hesitates or changes things previously planned, is because of him and her feelings for him even when she doesn’t realize why. She finally does and sees how much this man cares and has sacrificed for her when everything goes terribly bad (if you’re familiar with 2ha I’d say HanYe pulls a ChuWanning lol). And that’s all I’m gonna say. Oh and of course, there’s a happy ending, but OTP go through hell before achieving it. It’s a beautiful story that will make you cry and suffer a lot with the main characters BUT it will make you happy in the end. I promise.

Why should you read it?

Here’s the thing: I thought people were exaggerating about how good and nuanced both leads were written but even with MTL you can see it. The only person who could keep up with DiZiyuan’s cleverness and see through her cunning plans is HanYe and viceversa (although I think HanYe got the upperhand in the end lol). HanYe never questions her intelligence or doubts it; never thinks she’s less than him just because she’s a woman, even when he didn’t know who she really was. Rather, he admires that part of her and falls harder because of it. While Ziyuan falls because he’s good and genuinely cares for others and his country. They’re partners, they’re equals, they’re made for each other and I can’t wait to see them fighting bad guys side to side on screen. I’m so excited! And the visuals are gonna be insane! I mean Gong Jun and Dilraba are gorgeous people, and together?? That alone is worth the watch.

Plus the ending is quite perfect. All the people who were in the wrong and should pay, end up doing so. There are a few characters (especially a beloved one) that shouldn’t have ended the way they did, but everything does has a purpose.

If the drama manages to capture at least one quarter of the angst the novel had, I'm gonna be in heaven while watching. And I think a lot of people will, as well.

bonus (light spoilers)

Favorite quotes from novel(choosing my fave moments was too spoilery).

“Di Ziyuan is the person I must protect in this life. My crown princess, my queen of the middle palace, besides Di Ziyuan, there will never be another person.”

“I’ve been tempted by a woman named Ren Anle but in this life, I will protect DiZiyuan. Ren Anle you must always remember this.”

“Zi Yuan, I've been persevering for ten years, and I'm very tired. It's time to let go. I can't protect you anymore, and I don't want to protect you anymore.”

“You ask me what I really want, the world? Power and position? People's hearts? Neither. In this world, I only ask you to be DiZiyuan. You’re the obsession of HanYe’s whole life.“

How in the world could I allow someone to do this to you? How could I allow someone to drive you to such a dead end? How could I be so late, not only failed to save you, but also your bones.“

“Han Ye, you don't know, losing you is the most regrettable thing in DiZiyuan's life.”

“The person hidden in my heart is you, Di Ziyuan.”

“In this life, I will love the Emperor of Dajing named Han Ye. You must always remember this sentence”

Link to MTL novel (Book 1= 112 chapters, Book 2=104 +2 extras, that I know of at least). You have to use Google translate but it’s not as bad as you think. I swear.

Link to ongoing translation.

For those wondering: yes, poor HanYe gets pierced by arrows, a sword goes through his chest, he goes blind, jumps twice from a cliff (on purpose wtf) and many more bad things happen to him. However his emotional and inner turmoil are worthy of mention. A lot of the angst comes from that.

Happy reading!

[angeloncewas]

I'm just gonna throw my hat into the ring with this whole Ranboo thing -

It's not Techno, Phil, or Tubbo. If it is, I'll be disappointed purely because Ranboo took the time to stress that it should be someone else. It's also not any of the characters in a solid role that contradicts what Ranboo wants. So not Niki, Jack Manifold, Bad, or Ant.

I doubt it's Tommy. The only way I think it would work is if Tommy decided to tell Ranboo what he went through in exile and the two of them worked through it together. That might be cool. Other than that though, Tommy's not particularly relevant to Ranboo's end of the story and he doesn't really fit the criteria; he's not notably trustworthy (not that Tommy is untrustworthy, he's just not being heralded as someone to tell all your secrets to).

I would love it if it was Punz for a couple of reasons.

- Ranboo has the means. All that wealth is literally just sitting in his vault

- It's another Dream parallel and I love those

- He is morally ambiguous, would not be horrified by terrible actions, and he has been known to keep secrets for people who need them kept

- It's just kind of funny. The last person to hire him was the big bad of the server and now he's being paid to act as a sort-of-therapist to this distressed enderboy

That being said, I don't think it's very likely, mostly from a meta standpoint. Aligning with Ranboo would lead to heavy roleplay and I don't know if Punz is that kind of guy (it'd be fun though!)

I know the Karl theory is popular, but I'm not sure if I buy it. Ranboo has no reason to believe that Karl is trustworthy or unaligned, not with his communities and his time-travel powers being completely unknown to anyone else. If he told Ranboo, things would be different, but I can't see that happening quite yet.

My guesses are Sam, Puffy, Fundy.

Sam is the least likely of them, just because he's actually quite morally good. While he cared about Ranboo in the community house, he hates Dream and I feel like he wouldn't be that sympathetic to the idea of a Dream of any kind in Ranboo's head. He's a nice guy, but he's also law enforcement in a sense. Ranboo can't be telling him his secrets.

Puffy could go either way. While she is determined to do good, she's not necessarily what would be considered good (she used to steal and grief, she wants to work with the anarchists). I feel like she'd be alarmed but care enough to keep his secrets. She did call him a traitor at the Festival, but her character has gone through a lot of growth since then.

Fundy may sound like a pipe dream to those of us desperate for c!Fundy content, but I genuinely think it's the most likely. What other character is specifically known to have kept secrets in the past and done it well? (sorry Tubbo) - Fundy, with his spy's diary. He's detached, they have a pre-existing bond, and could chose to pledge loyalty to Ranboo for a variety of reasons.

Fundy’s the only one that makes real sense (other than Punz, I'd argue) if we're looking at the past and all of its context clues. Any other character would sort of open up a new plotline and character arc, because Ranboo has been largely a lone wolf until now.

(Either way, I'm excited to see where it goes.)

[ruby-whistler]

Alright curious anon here. All this is /dsmp /rp from here on out unless otherwise specified and is refering to characters. If i make any mistakes or am misinformed please let me know! So by the cat was nothing compared to mushroom henry i was meaning more toward the fact that the cow was killed as a punishment for something not worth or ok for it to be killed for at all and the fact that it belonged to tommy, wheareas the cat was killed more to annoy dream and belonged to tommy. (1/?)

alright then another lengthy reply, here i come! /lh /dsmp /rp

Dream also did not seem to mourn the cat much, shrugging it off with a "just more motivation to break out".

it was killed to hurt dream, not to "annoy him". it doesn't matter who it belonged to, c!dream was attached to it and it died, which had an effect on him and also further proved his point about attachments being weakness and caring getting you hurt, and it's still very sad.

you say that it was not ok at all to kill mooshroom henry, but the cat's death wasn't ok either, so i really don't see your point.

again, i disagree it was "nothing compared to" either way. i never meant to compare them in the first place, i was simply talking about the cat and c!dream so i don't see why it is in any way necessary to drag c!tommy and other dead pets into this. /nm

also, it isn't true he didn't mourn it. he is a very reserved person who doesn't show his feelings much, that's true, but the cat death still changed the way he acted afterwards, as well as the attempts he made to prevent it. he didn't "shrug it off", he yelled about it because he was understandably upset.

You mentioned that propganda was used to make dream seem like a tyrant, could you specify a bjt? Cus im a little confused srry /gen. Because the most i can remember from the lmanburg era at least is him being called a b'tch or other similar insults. You also mentioned how trauma responses can be differet which is true! I agree! Do you have any ideas to what caused dream the trauma?

wilbur would continuously make him out to be some sort of oppressive, tyrannical force, in front of his troops - a prime example of this being the lyrics of the l'manberg anthem itself and the l'manberg declaration of independence.

actually! here's a nice thread about l'manberg's establishment complete with links, timestamps and evidence :]

i also said in my previous post what could've possibly caused it, but since the character intentionally hides his emotions from the public, it would be difficult to see how things really affected him - which is why the way his spiral went is the majority of the evidence that would imply it, however it does make sense within the story as well with what i mentioned last time.

I would like to note that for sapnap at least had reason to leave dream. Some examples off the top of my head are dream leading an angry fundy to sapnap's pets on purpose, resulting in some deaths, dream assisting tommy in burning down sapnap's effiel tower where he got engaged to karl, and dream giving tommy either mars or the other fish at the battle of the lake. Idk about george tho other then the whole mexican lmanburg/el rapids thing and decrowning him

c!sapnap was actually at fault for most of this, and it wasn't really ever betrayal on c!dream's part.

c!dream is a mediator and he wants to stop everyone's conflict - c!fundy was angry because of c!sapnap's actions, and hence it made more sense for c!dream to centre him on c!sapnap's animals instead of running around killing everyone's pets (at that time, all c!dream knew was c!sapnap did something really bad and c!fundy wanted beckerson / mars from him, which were also his and c!george's fish).

c!sapnap was an instigator, and in multiple conflicts during the time as well as before he'd align himself against c!dream. he isn't "loyal" per se, he causes chaos and the reason c!dream helped c!tommy was because, c!sapnap, again, killed his pet. the first l'manberg war and then the 16th are signs of the fact that c!dream and c!sapnap were willing to fight together in actual war, but these small conflicts where c!sapnap continuously picked fights weren't about personal loyalty, nor did they seem to affect their relationship at all.

c!george was never really hurt by c!dream either. the dethronement was him very obviously being a guilt-trippy drama queen, but, well, that's just the character. he had stolen the l'mantree while he was supposed to be the diplomatic figure of the greater smp, which is why c!dream was justified in - very politely, may i mention - taking the duties off of him (seeing as he was also trying to keep him safe and c!techno had already assassinated him once).

Im pretty sure i remember cc!sam stating that his character never canonically physically tortured dream during his subathon but take this with a grain of salt as i am looking for the clip currently. So to the best of my knowledge dream did not have a physical contact trigger during tommy's visit which! I rewatched the vod and dream actually was first to hit tommy and i can give you my full writing downs but 10/12 of the phy-

you never finished this point because you had to go do something, but i'll reply to what is here at the moment (i suggest writing these down before sending next time, or even writing them out wholly before sending a single one could help avoid stuff like this).

i am 95% sure that the reason cc!sam stated this was because people were suspicious he had already been doing what c!quackity was doing after - torture within the storyline itself is associated pretty much only with what c!quackity is doing, so that's what he meant, just to clear up confusion - the starvation or terrible conditions haven't been retconned, but it was direct torture (like c!quackity is doing) people were asking him about.

i never said c!dream had a physical contact trigger at all, i don't think he had that, though he probably will after the torture.

huh, ok, i'm gonna have to rewatch then, but i remember c!tommy punching c!dream a lot and him just telling him to stop and only punching back to get him to stop. trigger or not, getting hit isn't very pleasant, if you know what i mean.

You mentioned tommy stealing dream's armor unprovoked. Do you have the vod or a general idea of the time so i can find it? Like before lmanburg after another event so and so because if you do not have it i can find it but any help is appreciated.

i am pretty sure you can find the video on cc!tommy's channel! there are also recaps of the disc war on youtube :]

I wanna talk a little on why the Final Control Room was so messed up. For starters, with the way the room was designed. It was small, and had labeled, empty chests with each person's name on them as a mockery. The next reason is that its bascially a kill box.

It's fairly inescapble with the stairs being ones you have to jump up, slowing anyone who climbs them down. The final reason it is messed up is that it is shown to have caused every person who died in it trauma. With tommy there are several examples, the time he saw it with techno, the way he refuses to go near it, the exposure trauma, etc. Fundy also appears to have trauma, as when the Red Banquet executions began, it can be seen as him being afraid of dying last again.

It can Be thought as tubbo having trauma because he buries most of his issues and pretends to be ok. Moreover this event took at least one of each person's canon lives, making it the most canon lives lost EVER in a dream smp event. (This is not hate on any of the ccs btw i loved this scene and its one of my personal favorites). Plus the fact Eret's betrayal just literally happened, giving at least Tommy and Wilbur canonic trust issues.

i wouldn't call the chests mockery? it was a trap. people had traps on the smp before. it was a trap in the middle of war, supposed to end said war by killing them all at once rather than individually which would be a lot more bloody and difficult.

i agree c!tommy and other people might have post-war trauma, especially if they were young during the time, but i think that's because the final control room was "messed up", moreso because the war itself was. it all happened fairly instantly as well? i don't think c!fundy would be able to realize he was the last one standing within the two second before he wasn't.

it "can be thought" and it can be interpreted like that but besides c!tommy there isn't much evidence for them "all" being traumatized by the final control room. of course betrayal would spark trust issues, i understand that.

The probation was humiliating in my opinion because dream was Sending tommy anatgonizing messages through out the whole meeting, plus he had to write a review of his day every single day, which fundy mocked him for.

i mean, it was definitely a strike to his pride, but he was being extremely uncooperative so i don't really blame the other members of new l'manberg trying to teach him to listen for once? of course i know c!dream was riling him up, and that should definitely be considered. i don't think it would be as humiliating if c!tommy didn't make it, is what i'm saying.

for the tommy being toxic to fundy? At least for the examples you gave, to me personally they come acoross as either in a meta way being the cc's bantering or in canon being the characters having banter. If you can send the post with the clips so i can read the tone better that would be cool but if not i will try and find em.

no, these were all in canon. canon isn't only when c!tommy is being nice, it's also when he's being a jerk. /lh

the first one was him threatening c!fundy about kicking him out of l'manberg and undermining his self-worth, and the second one was him trying to get c!sapnap to vote for them via bullying c!fundy.

i found these from a transcript focusing on c!fundy's character, so i don't know exactly where the first one is from, but the second one i am pretty sure is from when the elections were starting with the whole cabinet battle deal and all of that.

there are other instances, and all of them are canon. his personality was never being nice or compassionate, so i'm not really surprised? he still cares about the people he cares about and is very brave, y'know. but this part of his personality is definitely a valid reason for people to dislike him.

I hope the exam went well :). Hope u have a great day! (Ps i think theres something called a submission box to send in pictures? Am not entirely sure sry)

it would've gone well but my work-speed is a tad too slow for the schooling system (considering i'm three years younger than my classmates,,, probably that's also a factor) so probably not despite the fact i knew everything and would've aced it if i only had more time. i did as well as i could so i'm not worried about it, but thanks!

i think you're thinking submissions. sadly, i tested it and it doesn't work on anons, so idk how you'd solve that, maybe make a burner account?

Curious anon here one point you may wanna include in the redemption essay is that c!tubbo or c!tommy do not necessarily have to forgive him. What's important is that he recognizes what he did was wrong (exile, beating tommy to death, manipulating them both, etc) and does his best to make amends. Hope this helps! Can't wait to see your essay

it's out, idk if you've seen it yet, and i think i included enough of that so hope it's all good! :)

the mcc update video is out if you are an mcc enjoyer. It's very neat, if you wanna check it out

yeah! i am a fellow mcc enjoyer, saw it already, thanks for telling me though, i'm really hype for today.

Allo curious anon here sorry if the lots of asks bother you. I was just curious if i could share an interesting post i saw today about c!dream :0 (not necessarily negative i think? More of a statement of an often-confused canon)

sure thing! i don't know what you mean by often-confused since, the entire fanbase is very confused always, and often selection bias plays into the perception from both sides, but sure :]

you also sent in a thing for the other anon who said they didn't know what c!dream did that bad; pretty sure they couldn't really be alerted since, not sure if they watch my blog that closely, but i'll summarize your points just in case and add some notes;

the repeated blowing up of l'manberg (in my mind that's largely a positive since i,, despise that country, but fair enough), revealed c!ranboo as a traitor (they seem to be friends so i also,, think that might've been planned between him and enderboo), sent ghostbur away (i don't think c!dream knew it was dangerous for him and wanted to actually hurt him, but idk), participated in fighting against c!sapnap when he killed people's pets (that's only negative against c!sapnap and didn't seem to hurt him much at all), and then the whole vault scene where he was allegedly planning to steal people's things (though saying he would & being stopped beforehand and doing it are two different things, frankly).

so i still agree with the other anon that a lot of the hurt he did "to the entire server" (he only negatively interacted with like,, a half of them) is exaggerated both by the characters and the fandom, but i guess that's a consequence of most people seeing him as a threat to everyone's happiness rather than a complex personality.

Also he was aware of the butcher army going to kill techno but only got involved because he saw an opportunity to get a favor. (As he knew in advance due to him telling techno to get a totem, watching from afar instead of interveing or manipulating tubbo out of it)

i don't understand this at all, i'm sorry. how do you know he only helped techno in order to get a favor? last i remember he was only doing it to protect and strengthen his alliance, and techno came up with the whole favor thing entirely on his own. you might've not watched techno's perspective or their prior interactions, idk, but this really is a misinterpretation in my eyes. /nm

sorry if that is overly dream negative i just wanted to let yall know cus you seemed unaware -curious anon

nah dw, i watch the smp and i watched all of these things happen so, wouldn't say unaware, but thanks.

[roswellnmsource]

Lily Cowles Talks Stunt Work on Roswell, New Mexico & the Action-Packed Final Episodes This Season

So, finding out that there's been another alien Roswell really threw the audience for a loop. What were you thinking when you heard that there would be another alien in town?

I mean, I was like, finally. I'm ready for a little new alien blood in the mix, like let's stir it up. We've had our little pod squad, and we have this super tight little dynamic, and it's been pretty insular. They've had to keep everything to themselves, and so I think finding out that there's another person that's like them, another alien. How exciting.

What are the implications? This might change everything. I was really excited about it. I'm like, let's go, plus he's super cute, so.

That's very true. Can you preview what's next for Isobel and everyone as they process this new development?

Yeah, well, I think Isobel is...I think her initial reaction she's excited to bring someone new into the fold. And it's a little more complicated than that. We have a conversation you see with Isobel and Kyle, where he sort of is like, you might want to take this a little slow because this is a man of God.

This is a man whose vocation is faith-based. And to tell him that he's an alien might kind of complicate his life.

So, how much do you really want to ruin someone's life by telling them that they're an alien or change it for the better but I think Isobel is looking forward to kind of bringing someone newer to the fold and wants to share everything and learn from him.

And she's pretty enthusiastic about it. And it's going to have to learn how to handle that with grace and tack, which I think can sometimes be difficult for her. I know she can sometimes be quite straightforward with things.

Beyond that, Isobel is going on a date in this episode, which is so exciting for her. And I think she's going to be faced with having to break down some of the walls that she's built up that she's been working on. So, I'm kind of like personal internal conflict, but also a lot of opportunity.

And I think our writers handle it all so well, and it's going to unfold in a very fun way.

Sure. So, family is very important to not only the fabric of Roswell but to Isobel in particular. Can you tell us a bit about what family means to Isobel?

Yeah. I mean, I think Isobel has always had to lean so much on her brothers. There may have been the small amount of codependency. You might say with the trio because they have this enormous secret, they can't share with anybody else.

I mean, me personally, I have so many friends. I like to go around and talk about all my problems and everything with all my friends, but Isobel doesn't have as many people, or she didn't up until recently that she could talk about these things with, so her family was sort of everything for her.

These two people who understood who she was and saw her for who she truly was.

For the rest of the world, she had to, for many years of her life, kind of wear this mask and do a kind of performance of something that was sort of half-truth. Now, her circle has expanded a bit over the seasons of Roswell, which has been great—adding friends like Maria and Rosa and Kyle, Alex, and of course, Liz.

We've gotten all this new group of people that can support her. But I think the first 25 years of her life were basically just her and her brothers. And so, that loyalty goes really deep, and I think it will always be the trump card for her. I think it will always take precedent over everything else, which can be good, and it can be bad.

Yeah. And that kind of leads me into my next question, which is that Isobel has some of the best dynamics on the show. From Isobel and Michael and their brother, sister bond. And obviously Isobel and Max and this new bond now with Maria. What's your favorite Isobel dynamic?

It's hard to pick one because I love them all so much. I love working with Amber. I love the Isobel and Rosa dynamic so much because it's...there's so many layers in there. There's definitely the 'Oops. I'm sorry that I murdered you with your friends'.

But then also, Isobel kind of guiding her in Rosa's journey learning about her powers, and I think Isobel really took her under her wing. And I think that means a lot to Isobel to be able to be a guide for someone and somebody's mentor. But as time has gone on, the tables have also been turning.

There are lots of times when Rosa has been a mentor to Isobel.

And I love the female dynamics, that is... it's so rich. There's so much in there. Two women who are learning from each other and growing and supportive of each other, and challenging each other to be better. And it comes from this really complicated history that they were able to overcome.

So, to me, that sort of female dynamic is just like, oh, I love to see that.

I love Isobel and Kyle together too. It's really fun. Isobel knows how to shoot. She comes in just with so much energy. And I think there's something that happens. There's some kind of chemistry there, right? There's something, and it all maybe started at Planet Seven.

But, I think Kyle is someone that Isobel really trusts and leans on, and he's like this solid foundation for her, like a real confidant. But then there's more to it than that.

And there's something that's just, it's hard to put your finger on with them, but whenever I'm working with Michael Trevino, the scenes just...we find these little places that things just kind of pop and these unexpected moments come up and it feels like a really complex dynamic.

And I'm excited to see where that goes.

For sure. I got to talk to Michael, and he said very similarly that you guys had a really great dynamic, and he'd like to see more Kyle and Isobel scenes.

You know, give the world what they want! How bout it, Roswell!

Yes! So, Isobel has gone on quite the journey throughout the course of Roswell, and throughout season three as well, we've seen as she's dealt with Jones. So, can you speak to Isobel's resilience and how we will continue to see her growth?

Yeah, absolutely. Playing Isobel has been such an honor because it's a story that I think is so powerful for so many women. She began as this kind of Barbie doll. She was very performative, had this perfect little mask on. She was kind of closed off to the world but had this way of acting that seemed right.

And I think that's the dynamic that a lot of women can relate to.

It's like wanting to come off as being sort of perfect and having this veneer that seems like everything is good, but you're really disconnected from this deep, authentic truth that might be a lot more complicated and maybe messier, but you know what Isobel had to go through in Season One with Noah, it just rips that all off.

I mean, it wasn't by choice.

It happened to her. She was definitely victimized by the thing, and she had basically no other choice but to grow and adapt. And it gave her an enormous amount of freedom. And so often, suffering is terrible, you wouldn't wish it on anyone, and yet it can also lead to enormous amounts of growth.

And that's what I got to see with Isobel that she had to pick herself back up and connect with those deep parts of herself that she'd kind of been denying her whole life. And become strong. You have to find that strength within herself and not just leaning on the men around her.

She didn't have any female friends, and she was pretty co-dependent with all the men in her life. And Season Two, we saw Isobel discovering herself on her own terms.

And I think it's such an incredible gift that the writers gave to this show to see a female doing that, to find her way on her own terms and sort of have to relearn everything and say, "Well, who am I? What do I want? And how do I get that?"

And now we're just seeing her continuing down that path, she's becoming this warrior, she's becoming this total badass, and I think there's never like an end to it.

It's not like she started out like this, and now it's like the end of the story, 'Hooray! She found herself, and now she's like a badass warrior.' It's in Season Three, I think we're seeing her struggling with what does it mean to be a warrior? What does it mean to try to be a strong female?

How much are we suddenly becoming too self-protective when we begin to build this armor where we're making sure that no one's going to hurt us again? Well, is that armor preventing us from also being vulnerable with other people?

And I think the writers have been so gracious to give this arc to a female character that's been so multifaceted.

So, I'm just so grateful. I can't wait to see where Isobel goes, and she just keeps evolving and changing and shedding her skin and becoming something new, and like I said, it's never like a destination; it's all about the journey. So that's been really fun as an actor to be able to play with.

I have to ask about the stunts in episode eight because the scenes between you and Nathan were fantastic. How was it to shoot those scenes?

Oh my God, it was so much fun. Season Two, I had told Carina, our showrunner at the time, girl put me in some action stuff because I had some martial arts background. And after everything that had happened to Isobel, I was like it'd be great for her to become more empowered in her own physical body too.

So that, we started to kind of build the foundation there, and we're seeing it now paying off, all of this training that Isobel is always talking about. We're finally seeing her in action.

In that episode, in 3x08, directed by Benjamin Bray Hernandez, it was so incredible to actually be able to do this stunt work and with Nathan, who's a great, great stunt guy too.

I mean, I swear in another life, he would like to be a stuntman, Nathan. But the two of us actually got to do most of our own stuff.

I mean all of the pool cue, all of the hand to hand. There were a couple of things that a stunt person came in when we did the backflip over the table. We're like, yeah, that's not to break your neck during that. But besides that, everything was us, and it was so much fun to work with a director who was himself a stuntman.

So, he knew how to really direct.

Every strike needs to be telling a story and the way that he filmed it on the actual film, the lens that he was using. All of this stuff was just, it was like a masterclass in stunt work. So much fun, I was so sore, and while I thought that we were using pool cues, I was like, "I'm sorry, I have never used a pool cue in a fight."

And of course we got on the set, and Nathan from Texas, is there whipping it all around in his hand, spinning the pool cue, homie has been in like 15 pool bar fights, and I'm like, "How do you hold it?"

But I think we're a pretty good match-up, and there's more to come between Nathan and I. I'm so grateful. He's an incredible partner to work with. I feel so safe with him. I did one time jab him with the butt of my pool cue pretty hard in the groin.

So, sorry for that, Nathan. But besides that, it was such a fun experience, and I'd love to do more of that.

That's amazing. Outside of Isobel's storyline this season, has there been another story that you've really enjoyed that's played out in Season Three?

I mean, all of it is so compelling.

I've loved seeing, in this last episode, we saw Alex taking on so many of the demons that I think this beautiful parallel storyline of Alex and Michael, both working through the traumas of their parents, what they've inherited from their parents. Michael learning that he is the son of this evil dictator, but his mother is maybe this amazing hero.

And Alex working through the trauma of what his father was.

And I think that a compelling, compelling story is what we inherit from our parents and what we choose to move forward with or what we want to rebel against.

Do we become our parents, or are we given the opportunity to change them, fix their mistakes? And Kyle is dealing with this too with his father and the Valenti code and all of that.

So, I love that the lineage, the kind of questioning of how lineage proceeds through us and what our obligation is to the family line, I think that's beautiful.

And last question for me, with the finale on the horizon, what can the audience expect from these last batches of episodes?

Oh my gosh. Stuff gets so crazy, Whitney! It pops off. I mean, filming it was some of the most intense work I've ever done. We were like Marines. We were like Navy seals. We bonded so hard over just the sheer physical, emotional, and psychological difficulty that we all have to go through over these next few episodes.

It's full of action. It is full of suspense. It's going to be such a roller coaster for the audience, and I cannot wait for them to see it. It's going to be a huge payoff. Our writers did an incredible job, and yeah, I think it's just going to knock people's socks off.

[baoshan-sanren]

I saw your post about svss and you pointed out a bunch of interesting things and it got me thinking... there are plenty of fics about og!lbh meeting sy( !sqq ) but what is your take on this? How do you think things would go down between them and what kind of relationship do you imagine they'd have? After Bingge vs Bingmei do you think og!lbh would wanna find his own Shizun (sy) / or would he try to take sy!sqq back? Thanks for this blog btw! It's an absolute danmei goldmine!

lmao I see a lot of those fics too but I’ve never read any bc I just can’t see LBG and SY together in any context that doesn’t involve making one (or both) of them extremely OOC. Mainly, I can’t see SY ever willingly remaining by LBG’s side. In the LBG vs LBM extras, the only pity he feels for LBG is solely caused by LBG’s physical resemblance to LBM, or the physical resemblance to the person SY actually cares for. I mean, there is no need to imagine how SY would react to being pursued/forced to exist alongside LBG because we already see it play out in SVSSS. Before SY finally realizes that the boy he raised turned out very different from PIDW LBH, he spends like a dozen chapters (if not more) trying to run away from him. And SVSSS LBH is no alternate dimension stranger either, but a man SY had raised himself, and knows better than he ever could have known PIDW LBH just from airplane’s shitty writing. 

I’m putting the rest under read more, bc idk if you thought I was kidding about writing essays about SVSSS (I wasn’t).

The LBG vs LBM extras are actually my fave extras. So many people start SVSSS expecting to get a romantic relationship between the two mains, but technically, this relationship only begins after the novel ends. SY even clearly states that the entire time they had spent in the Demon Realm post the events of the last chapter (not quite a month if I remember correctly?) they had not even as much as kissed. The fact that the first physical intimacy of sexual nature SY experiences post all the misunderstandings and misery of the novel is with LBG and not LBM (as well as the first time he is aroused by the activity) is a big deal for A LOT of reasons. The main being that SY enjoys himself only up to the point where he realizes the person kissing him is not LBM. 

Mxtx makes it a point to tell us that SY and LBM have terrible sex. For one, this is a fairly realistic scenario, flying in opposition to all the novels where the lead is somehow born with magical knowledge on how to provide mind-blowing sexual gratification under any circumstance. With the “protagonist's golden-halo” firmly in place, any other author would have made him a veritable sex god without any consideration for the fact that LBM wouldn’t know the first thing about kissing someone, let alone anything else. LBG, on the other hand, has the experience gained from his 300+ member harem. In the extra, it takes him literally no time to push SY’s buttons. I believe he even says something like “Why would you stay with him (LBM) when my technique is so much better?” For LBG, who clearly doesn’t understand that any relationship which purports itself to be based in affection or love does not require continuous application of sex in order to exist or remain stable, SY choosing to stay with LBM makes absolutely no sense. 

It always blows my mind when people talk about SVSSS like it’s perpetuating some “dangerous ideas” about sex and consent (but it does make me better understand why mxtx chooses to literally lead the readers by the hand through those same themes in TGCF, because they obviously didn’t get what she was saying in SVSSS). The number of narratives in which the bad guy is terrible at sex and the good guy is somehow a sex encyclopedia on two legs (and there are no realistic reasons for either scenario) are a dime a dozen in every genre, in every language. Mxtx steps back and says “no, actually, sex has nothing to fucking do with love, and the ability to receive/give pleasure has nothing to do with either goodness or villany” and then she gets lynched for it by people who have no reading comprehension. 

Literally the only thing LBG has going for him is that he can turn SY on in 0.5 seconds and that he physically resembles LBM. And while the latter does ping on SY’s radar, it only incites pity. He obviously does not give a shit for the former, because his relationship with LBM, his affection and love for LBM, his decision to marry LBM has literally nothing to do with sex. This actually might be healthiest aspect of their relationship, that all the groundwork, including the plethora of misunderstandings, was laid down before they had a mutually consensual sexual experience together. And it is a stark contrast to PIDW LBH’s relationship with sex which is unhealthy in a dozen different ways, and mainly transactional in nature, from being a means of obtaining loyalty, affection, or a sense of self-worth. 

So basically, a relationship between SY and LBG is, in my opinion, as unrealistic as airplane’s original PIDW plot. Although SY did admire PIDW LBH enough to read the entire atrocity of a novel (that literally ended up killing him), I think we’re all supposed to understand, without being told, that those things we admire in fiction are rarely ever things we’d be willing to experience in real life. 

[sparrowmoth]

I see the core four are done 👀 how abouuuut Uma?

@hoodpane Thank you, Cay!! 💖 This is a late reply, but here we go!

First impression: “Holy shit, what a fucking icon,” basically. I was so enchanted with her and Harry’s dynamic. The way Harry worships the ground she walks on is so valid tbh. Like, who wouldn’t? She’s regal. Never a dull moment with Uma on screen.

Impression now: ICON. My first impression was correct. Uma’s kind of perfect tbh. I really wish we’d gotten to see her shine as some kind of ambassador for the Isle or better yet for her to have become queen. She’s a natural born leader and a damn good one, not to mention a deeply compassionate person with intense loyalty to her people. She’d have made an amazing queen. To put her through a villain arc instead was a fucking waste.

Favorite moment: I’m gonna have to say every single second of “What’s My Name?” 20 years from now, that song and that scene is still going to be a cult favourite. There’s too much queen shit happening for that not to be the case.

Idea for a story: Hmmm, AU where Ursula isn’t a terrible parent (because I feel like she has potential to be a sympathetic villain in her original canon). She did wrong and she accepts punishment for that, but she begs Ariel (her niece) to spare the infant Uma from being locked up, too. Ariel adopts Uma right before Ursula is convicted, so Uma grows up in Auradon, but she’s deeply curious about her heritage, which leads her to sneak across to the Isle on a barge in a bid to meet her birth mother. Instead, she meets a certain pirate or two...

Unpopular opinion: So, the main thing for me is I feel like Uma and Mal’s bad blood in canon often gets blown out of proportion by the fandom. I’d heard people talking about it before I read the books, so I was expecting a lot more than what I found about their history there. The way they fell out was pretty damn tame for a couple of teenage girls, especially ones raised to be “evil.”

Having said that, I don’t think the way their relationship was *written* is at all above criticism. For example, before I read the books, I assumed the nickname “Shrimpy” had something to do with Uma being younger/shorter than Mal. Not the case. I remember very clearly the books state that, after the incident with Mal and Uma falling out, the smell of shrimp *never* left Uma’s hair, which is an objectively racist plot point. Personally, I’m uncomfortable seeing that “nickname” used uncritically in fanworks.

Also, I hate how Mal is written as absolutely obsessed with Uma being “dangerous” for most of the franchise in all its forms. Book 4 (Escape) was so much garbage related to that. If you haven’t read it, uh… maybe don’t.

Favorite relationship: Uma and Harry, hands down. I love their scenes to death. They’re so much fun together, so clearly in love (I do not see D3’s ending, I do not), and damn, they’re both gods of fashion, so like… what’s not to love? I'd watch twenty hours of them just silently dancing together, they have so much chemistry.

Favorite headcanon: Uma can breathe underwater, not because of magic but because it’s inherent in her biology. On the Isle, she makes a habit of going to hang out alone on the sea floor. She tames the crocs around the ship by feeding them regularly, so they don’t bother her. Harry and Gil, on the other hand… they know she goes underwater to be alone, especially when she’s upset or overwhelmed, but they can’t help trying to dive down and make sure she’s okay. They’ve both done breath training (competing against each other), so they can manage themselves down there longer than most. Uma pretends to be annoyed when they show up uninvited, but she never actually tells them to stop, so… they don’t.

Send Me A Character

[kraviolis]

sorting the owl house characters into hogwarts houses, because im cringe

luz - ravenclaw

she’s creative and clever and is always searching to learn new things and loves learning just for the sake of learning. shes incredibly witty and quick thinking and open-minded. she’s constantly finding clever, creative, and original ways to solve her problems. she hardly blinked when given the opportunity to learn magic, and only continued to show an intense amount of intelligence and appreciation for academics. shes very resourceful as a human learning magic, finding a entirely new form of magic when it was apparent that she couldnt do it the traditional way. she’s very aspiring, wanting to be a witch and an author since she was very young. she’s very logical about a lot of things, like how it doesnt make sense to not allow witches to study multiple tracks or that people were imprisoned just for being themselves. she’s highly encouraging of individuality which is a lesser known trait of ravenclaw but very important. she can be a perfectionist at times and tended to avoid social interaction so she could persue her creativity. she’s outspoken, an overthinker, and very competitive. i think a lot of people might say she’s a hufflepuff, as she’s loyal and kind and hardworking, but luz values learning and creativity above any of those other things— this is evident, when she makes the decision to stay in the boiling isles to learn magic rather than go home to her mom, thus putting knowledge and creativity over her own family.

eda - gryffindor

she’s not afraid to stand up for herself and others and will never back down from a challenge. she would rather die as herself than live unauthentically. she’s very passionate and empathetic. she’s rebellious against rules that dont make sense to her and cares intensely for her friends and family. she has a strong internal moral code that she sticks to intensely, never straying from it. in the very first episode, she breaks into the conformatorium just to get a paper crown thats important to king. she let raine break up with her because she didnt want to burden them with her curse. she forfeited the match with lily because she knew her sister wanted to be in the emperor’s coven more than she ever did. she’s sacrifices herself for luz & king over and over again because she cares so deeply for her.

king - slytherin

he’s self-centered, smart, arrogant, and highly ambitious. he would do anything to achieve his goals— which was at first reclaiming his throne as the king of demons, and then turned into finding out where he came from. he tried to use luz as a means to reach his goals when he became an author, nearly sacrificing their friendship. he became incredibly loyal to luz after that in the same way he’s loyal to eda, the one who raised him.

(other characters under the cut)

lily - slytherin

it was between this and ravenclaw, because she’s incredibly intelligent and does seem to enjoy learning and has a great mind, she’s also incredibly ambitious and prideful. the deciding factor was that she cursed eda just to reach her own goals. she’s still loyal to eda even when working for belos, which says a lot to how she’s loyal to only a select few people. to her, the ends justify the means (making amity cheat to appear like the better teacher, cursing eda to win the duel, kidnapping luz to get belos to cure eda, losing her magic to help eda)

amity - gryffindor

this one was hard, i swapped between slytherin and gryffindor a lot for her. she’s ambitious and intelligent, but also not afraid to do whats right even if means breaking the rules. she’s self-sacrificing and empathetic and prideful. she ended her friendship with boscha to help luz and willow win. she didnt like luz at first because luz kept cheating and messing up her life, which means she has a strong moral code against cheating and bullies. she’s rebellious in small ways at first but once she started realizing how terrible her parents and belos really were, she pulled away extremely quickly.

willow - slytherin

not surprising, if you take into her account of self-preservation and bending of the rules to suit her ambitions. in the first episode she agrees to cheating just to get ahead in school because she wants to make her parents proud, and in the end she switches to the plants track so to her the ends justify the means. she pulled out of the grudgby game when luz pushed her & gus too far, a perfect example of that self preservation. she has a sense of loyalty that extends to very specific people but she always makes sure those people are taken care of. her parents, luz, gus, and eventually king, eda, and amity, too. she wouldn’t die for them, but she would kill for them.

gus - hufflepuff

sure, he has the ravenclaw curiousity and thirst for knowledge, but he’s very kind, hard working, has a strong inner sense of justice and fairness, and is tolerant of others. he helps mattholomule even if he’d been a jerk before because it was unfair if he didnt. he helps luz break into belos’s castle to find a cure for eda, lets luz borrow his library card to see amity, and hated it when mattholomule tried to lie about the human objects. he knows what it feels like to be left behind and underestimated, so he makes an effort to be kind to others who seem to be in the same boat. he’s very young but already so accomplished which is a testament to how hard he works.

hunter - hufflepuff

this one was HARD. it was either slytherin or this, and a deciding factor for this is the fact that he is self-sacrificing. he sacrifices a lot for other people, even if it doesnt seem like it. in the palisman episode, he sacrifices the palismen getting away despite knowing he would be punished for returning empty-handed. in eclipse lake, he leaves to find the titans blood for belos when he simply could have stayed in the castle and been safe. he’s viciously hard-working, dedicated, and loyal to his family. he lets people’s actions speak for them. he doesn’t immediately judge luz for using wild magic and actually seems interested in it before remembering to be loyal to belos. he’s patient, too, as seen by his interactions with luz. he gets frustrated, sure, but he still works with her. he’s modest about his rank and title, preferring to not flaunt it more than needed. but he does take pride in it. he’s kind in his own way, specifically to belos and lil rascal, but you can see it in his interactions with amity & luz, too. with amity, he empathizes with her and gives her advice that he thinks is true, and offers to dig a grave for her too when its apparent that neither of them are getting any titans blood. with luz, he gives up the palismen and protects her from kikimora. that boy is a hufflepuff for sure.

raine - gryffindor

oh buddy theyre the biggest gryffindor ever. they extremely, extremely brave. they have terrible stage fright and anxiety but they still became head bard, and they still ran an underground resistance group, and they still gave everything up just to help eda. they have a strong sense of whats right and whats wrong and incredible amount of passion, empathy, and integrity. they have a great sense of pride— “How did someone with stage fright end up as Head Witch?” “I’m just that good.”— and are very selfless. they stopped eda from sacrificing herself because they knew her kids needed her more, they sacrificed themselves in eda’s place and gave up everything they had just so eda wouldnt have to.

camila - hufflepuff

she’s extraordinarily kind, even when she’s terrified. she’s accepting and open-minded and hardworking, making sure to show luz that she loves her creativity but still wants to make sure luz can do well in school and can make friends. sometimes you can do something you think is kind but isnt really. she’s also a single mother doing her best to give her daughter a good life, which is a credit to how hard she works and how dedicated she is to her daughter. she even took the day off of work to drive luz to camp because she knew luz was anxious and wanted to reassure her. she’s patient with luz, and even when faced with the scariest moment of her life, she’s still thinking of how luz feels rather than her own fears and anger. she’s very much a hufflepuff in the way that she’s quiet and unassuming but fiercely protective of her family.

vee - slytherin

she’s opportunistic and has a sense of self-preservation. she’d rather save her own skin than do that right thing. she’s cunning, having pretended to be camila’s daughter just to have a place for herself. this isnt a bad thing at all, though. she’s also loyal to camila, who she sees as her family, and even got into a fight with luz over how she treated camila. she still listened to luz and let luz help her so that vee could remain living as luz. she doesnt feel guilty about valuing herself ahead of luz.

belos - ravenclaw

honestly? not a hard decision. he’s smart, sure, but he’s not people-smart. he didnt think lilith would betray him after he admitted to lying about healing eda. he doesnt understand loyalty, not even to those close to him. he’s rational and logical rather than emotional. if the theory that he is philip wittebane is to be believed, then its obvious he has an appreciation for learning and knowledge. belos distinctly reminds me of lockhart, or even quirrell, who were also in ravenclaw. he’s got an arrogance to him that blinds him, believing himself to be the smartest and strongest witch on the isles and thus underestimating others, which will only lead him to ruin.

[mira--mira]

Hi! I was wondering

How do you think Hashirama and Madara would be in a Road to Ninja version?

I remember once reading a Hashimada fic (which I never finished RIP) that was about Madara appearing in the RTN universe and the 3 things that stucked with me were:

1.- Madara was the first Hokage (something that Madara thought was horrible when he saw his sculpted face on the Hokage mountain 🤣)

And personally I think that it would not have been like that even in the RTN universe because we didn't see his face along with the other faces of Hokages in the movie (Yeah, apparently I'm basing myself on a movie which I'm not even sure if it's canon or not, even though Kishimoto wrote it) and the RTN characters didn't seem to even know who Madara is.

2.- Hashirama having his bowlcut as an adult

And I agree with the Madara from that fanfic, it looks awful on him. Hashirama, babe, I'm sorry but the only ones who can rock that style are Guy Sensei and Rock Lee, I know you just were trying to be cool but it doesn't suite you.

3.- Tobirama was a porn writer

Instead of being a fan of forbidden jutsu and creating justus, he wrote porn novels a la Jiraiya. And I'll hold that headcanon with my dead hands.

The only other fanfic that places the founders in the RTN universe is one where the protagonist is Mito (it's an interesting one-shot that pairs her with Itama 🤔)

She was kind of a shy person 🤔? And so it was Tobirama 🤣 which I found fun.

Hashirama, as the first fanfic I mentioned, was the Tobirama of the place (saddenly Madara wasn't in this fic).

So I would like to know what are your versions of the founders (or only Hashirama and Madara if it is too much) in the RTN universe! And how do you think things would be

Hmm, RTN is an interesting concept to me but, to be honest, I don't think Konoha would exist if a lot of personalities got flipped 😂 I haven't read any RTN fics with the founders, but if you, or anyone else, have links at hand I'd love to check them out 👀

1. Madara

Here's the big one and the crux of why I don't think the village would exist. Typically I characterize Madara as an extremely responsible man who internalizes things when he shouldn't, takes himself way too seriously, is aggressive and abrasive even to people he loves sometimes, but genuinely loves the people closest too him. Reversing this would make a character that slacks off, takes no responsibility, and is completely passive in life and has fleeting attachments to others around him. Assuming he wouldn't die on the battlefield, I could see the RTN "alternate" personality coming about of Madara's being so overpowered and competent that he loses interest and distances himself from things before he can get attached and lose them.

It makes building a village very hard though. (At first I was tempted to go RTN Sasuke route and maybe RTN!Madara is a little more openly flirty than canon!Madara, but the passivity and refusal to take responsibility would be the "core" qualities for me.)

2. Hashirama

Hashirama is a bit weird because he has a lot of surface-level "conflicting" traits in canon. He is optimistic but he pushes beyond his natural attitude and uses it as a mask to hide instead of addressing his feelings. He's mischievous, likes jokes and games, and can be a bit hedonistic with his pleasure but can equally be serious when necessary and will willingly sacrifice for others around him. And simultaneously, Hashirama and Madara are connected by a shared sense of idealism but also anger. Hashirama is a very kind, but extremely angry, man. I think a RTN!Hashirama would share a kind of apathy of RTN!Madara but instead of passivity his lack of anger would manifest as cruelty. Because canon!Hashirama is angry but his anger is usually a righteous kind. I don't think RTN!Hashirama would go out of his way to be cruel, but he doesn't have the empathy of canon!Hashirama, especially to others' suffering. He enjoys fighting just a bit too much and has no qualms about killing. In his mind, he should always come first in any situation and prioritizing (or even considering) others' is effort and him going out of his way to be "nice" and the other should be thankful. Similarly if he feels any negative emotion, he won't bottle it up and swallow it down, he'll immediately address it, usually confrontationally. RTN!Hashirama is as intelligent as his canon counterpart but he doesn't suffer fools and he hates it when people underestimate him. He's pretty proud and vain, tbh.

I really don't think the above would make him the "Tobirama" of RTN verse. To me Hashirama and Tobirama have different core values and perspectives and inverting Hashirama's doesn't make it become Tobirama's, if that makes sense. This one is also wordy bc I immediately knew how RTN!Madara would be RTN!Hashirama is a bit harder to pin down. But I hope it's clear why I have doubts about the village existing...maybe if RTN!Hashirama got it in his mind as a pet project for the hell of it, that he'd be a better leader for the country and not just the Senju alone, and RTN!Madara liked the idea of no responsibility and being able to detach even further than he already was? But that's still kind of grasping for a reason.

3. Hashimada

Equally I think any Hashirama/Madara relationship would be ehhh. They definitely wouldn't have the overwhelming bond of their canon counterparts, and it could be a relationship ripe for unhappiness. The closest I can think of to making the ship work is RTN!Madara would be drawn to Hashirama's absurd level of self-confidence and able to let the casual cruelty slide off instead of getting worked up about it. In a way RTN!Hashirama is stable and predictable. If he's pretty overpowered, there's less of a chance RTN!Madara would lose him, so their relationship isn't deep but it's more or less dependable and Madara knows exactly what he's going to get. In contrast RTN!Hashirama has an audience in the form of RTN!Madara and a partner that's not going to push back against his ideas. RTN!Madara doesn't ask for much and he doesn't complain when RTN!Hashirama puts himself first. He doesn't want, or might not be capable of, the deep emotional bond their canon counterparts have. RTN!Madara wouldn't leave Konoha (if it existed) in the AU, because he doesn't really care. If someone upset RTN!Hashirama and he decided to leave to 'do it right' RTN!Madara would probably follow, maybe out of some loyalty for RTN!Hashirama but mostly because it's what's easiest.

4. Tobirama

The core of Tobirama's character to me is prioritizing logic over emotion and both a conscious and unconscious failure to realize he can't completely eliminate emotion. Tobirama loves his brother, he's curious and has a desire to find out what makes things work and is willing to bend morality to get results if it'll serve a greater good. He's very aware of the unfairness of the world but believes it's an unspoken truth of humanity and can only be mitigated through logical means, but never completely erased. He'll be the sacrificial lamb, the one that works in shadows so his brother can have his utopian dream. Despite everything, he loves his genin, the strongest bonds he has aside from Hashirama, and does try to instill in them lessons he think will help them and lead to peace and stability in the village. He's still influenced by the prejudices of his time and can never find it in him to truly forgive the Uchiha.

A RTN!Tobirama would be a man ruled by emotion. Him writing erotica all day definitely could be one way this manifests lol. But overall he's sensitive and spiritual and can't stand the idea of killing. He and RTN!Hashirama don't get along and he actively tries to avoid his brother. RTN!Tobirama has equally strong principles as canon!Tobirama, but they're pacifist in nature and while he likes his studies, he prefers to be out talking to people and learning from them first hand. He's very naive and can be easily taken advantage of and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. No matter how many times this happens, he never can harden his heart or be overly suspicious of others. RTN!Tobirama would most likely be the one support peace in this AU. He embraces the Uchiha and all the Senjus past enemies with open arms, almost to a foolish degree. It'd be a bad idea if he became hokage in this AU because he's a terrible negotiator and has a bad people-pleasing streak and struggles with long-term tactics. With the exception of RTN!Hashirama, who he considers an aberration who doesn't have a soul, humans at their core all have good intentions at heart.

5. Mito

I characterize Mito as a very level-headed woman. Her marriage to Hashirama is political in nature but they grow to be good friends and she never expected to fall in love and she's glad Hashirama didn't want a traditional wife. Mito is devoted to her community work (she works hands-on with people in the village), she seeks out connections with others and, despite the distance, remains close with her family in Uzushio, constantly writing them letters. She's spiritual and follows the Uzumakis' beliefs (not gonna list this OoT spoiler lol) and studies fuinjutsu in her spare time, something she's done since she was a child. She is willing to sacrifice if it meant protecting something she considered greater than herself, much to her own personal detriment. She loves and is proud of her children and grandchildren, but if she had a choice, she would have chosen to remain childless, she finds her true calling elsewhere.

RTN!Mito, similarly to RTN!Tobirama, is ruled by emotions. She dreams of one day making a good marriage for herself and centers romance and being a mother as her ideal life, but she's extremely picky when it comes picking the perfect husband. RTN!Mito knows how much she's worth and she refuses to settle and will not even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. She has a hard time forming long-lasting, deep bonds with other people and views starting her own family as the solution to this problem. At times she can be a bit absent-minded and unintentionally selfish, but she's not actively malicious. She blusters a lot and depending on the situation can come off as cold and uncaring, but it's only to hide the depth of her true feelings and loneliness. In this AU she would absolutely refuse to marriage RTN!Hashirama. Nothing on hell or earth, could make her change her mind.

Mito is such a blank-slate character it feels like writing an oc more than a canon character, tbh. And this is something I don't see brought up a lot but a "heart full of love" to combat the kyuubi's hatred to me has never been exclusive to romantic or familial (to children) love. *cough* I want a complex female character who's not vilified for not wanting to have children and/or regretting having them *cough* Mito's "love" was for the people of Konoha and Uzushio. My personal headcanon regarding her and Hashirama's child (I don't think she had more than one) was that she was dedicated to her son, but quickly realized being a mother wasn't her dream or something she even actively liked. The kid was well-cared for and she was dutiful towards him, but Hashirama was the parent that loved and embraced him with his whole heart and it led to some tension between Mito and her son as the kid could tell the difference and neither of them were "wrong" to feel the way they did. This is why Tsunade was shown with Hashirama instead of Mito, he was a lot more present in her life when she was young (instead of Kishi just not having made Mito as a character yet). But after Hashirama and Tsunade's dad died (and then Nawaki), she and Mito grew close but it was definitely more of a friendship or student/mentor relationship rather than a traditional grandmother/granddaughter relationship but both were satisfied with it and loved eachother. Likewise I didn't want RTN!Mito's characterization to be shallow and hit misogynistic undertones with her being an "opposite" to Mito's calm, level-headed, focused on her work/passions characterization.

6. Closing thoughts

#1: Wow this got long #2: I feel conflicted about RTN because it seemed to flip surface-level characteristics instead of deep characterizations, and ignored flaws altogether. The ones above, esp. Hashirama and Madara's, are kind of dark in a way? But that's the only way it makes sense to me...Gai and Lee caring about style and being stylish is a funny joke but if you were to actually poke and prod and say their personalities were inverted, neither of them would be top-notch ninja as we know...unless I'm just completely misremembering RTN because I realize it's been years since I saw it lol. Anyway, hope this was entertaining!

[bigfan-fanfic]

I prefer to look at Talia as a character pre- Grant Morrison’s mommy issues being inserted into her characterization. It makes Damians conception a whole lot more complicated for BatDad. He had suspicions of Bruce cheating within those 5-6 years he was missing but it never really registered that it could’ve really happened. It wasn’t a thought he could deal with and be mentally competent enough to deal with school and Wayne enterprises. But after he meets Damian and sees his face, his eyes... he sees Talia and it takes everything in him not to completely lose it. Selena was bad enough but this... is something else. He spent years with Talia and his insecurities about that were only confirmed. Of course he grew to love Damian and such but I imagine it hurt alot more putting his hatred for Bruce in that moment aside for this kid, who was actively trying to kill him. A kid who doesn’t know just how much his existence speaks to the level of disrespect Bruce had for him. But alas he didn’t choose to be born. So he ultimately channels all of this rage and sadness at his work and doesn’t even speak to Bruce. He is entirely cold except to Alfred and the children. what do you think will be the resolve to make him forgive. If anything will. I think this might be the straw that broke the camels back which would then lead to him stepping down as CEO and moving to Metropolis, eventually.

Still, even without the whole issue of Talia and Damian created during the Morrison run, which has been retconned back and forth since then, Talia's still kind of a terrible person. She's still an assassin and part of Ra's al Ghul's eugenics/bioterrorism organization. She still does horrible things out of loyalty to her dad. And basically the one cool thing she did was run LexCorp while Lex Luthor was President (long story) and leak info to Superman.

Like Bruce does have a history of liking crappy people, like Selina, so Talia doesn't break the mold in that way. But yeah, I hate to say it, but at least with the Talia in Batdad's universe being more like the post Grant Morrison Talia, it makes it a little easier for Batdad to come to terms with Damian's existence, because it wasn't like Bruce had a say in it. But with Bruce yet again actively cheating on him... it'd be really bad. I don't even think he should forgive Bruce if that were the case.

But also do you really think that Bruce could've kept that a secret once he gets back from training, if he fell for Talia and had sex with her? From the person besides Alfred who knows him best in the world? Probably better for him to know then and get away.

[esmeshardwoodfloors]

continuation of this post about a Twilight AU where Bella vows to destroy the Cullens instead of joining them, a little more detail...

Bella takes Edward first, right after being turned. It has to be that way - a split second choice, while her newborn strength still gives her an advantage. When he leads her out on her first hunt, she tears him apart. She feels bad about it; he had the glimmerings of a conscience, this one, and he did love her, in his way. But it must be done.

She doesn’t go back to the Cullens’ house. She cannot take all of them at once. She runs far away and calls Alice - “Something terrible has happened,” she says. “I need to you come and get me. Please. Don’t tell the others.”

Bella's ‘shield’ has always made her largely immune from Alice’s visions, as she was from Edward’s powers. She is the one thing Alice can’t see coming. Perhaps Alice imagines Bella has already made what the Cullens refer to with callous understatement as ‘a mistake’; that she has killed a human. Perhaps she thinks Bella is hiding now from Edward, and that is why neither has returned home.

Alice goes alone, as asked, ready to be all sympathy and understanding. Bella destroys her easily - without her ‘Sight’, the little vampire is not much of a fighter. Her power has always been what makes the family most dangerous; without Alice and Edward the Cullens are blind, fumbling with confusion and fear. Bella has bought herself time.

Bella waits, and watches, from afar. She doesn’t dare go back to Forks, but she calls up Jessica Stanley and tells her that she has left Edward for good, but is afraid that he’s looking for her. She asks about his family.

Jessica is sympathetic and thrilled at being trusted with such a secret. She tells Bella that the Cullens have left Forks - Alice and Jasper first, and then the rest.

Bella is pleased. She knew Jasper’s loyalty to his coven wouldn’t last long without Alice there, and doesn’t doubt he’s split off on his own to search for his mate. They have no reason to believe Bella is responsible - likely they think she has shared whatever fate has befallen Edward and Alice.

It takes her a few years to locate the Cullens again, though Carlisle’s work makes it easier. Bella just has to keep an eye on the hospitals in the more overcast parts of the country, knowing sooner or later he’ll turn up again. And he does.

Finding Doctor Cullen’s new home address is not hard. Bella goes to the door when Emmett and Rosalie are at school and Carlisle is at work. Esme is overjoyed when she sees Bella standing there, alive. She suspects nothing. Her guard is down.

Bella does what she can to kill her quickly, without pain. She reminds herself as she does so that this woman, for all that she was always kind, has a higher body count than Bella herself. Innocent humans. Perhaps they were kind people too. Perhaps they had families of their own, and wanted to live.

Still, it is hard, killing Esme. It makes Bella think of her own parents, out there somewhere, perhaps still searching for their child too. But perhaps Esme’s next ‘mistake’ would have been one of them, or someone like them. Bella hardens her long-dead heart, calls the hospital, and waits.

When Carlisle returns home and sees what she has done, he doesn’t even fight back. He might, Bella thinks later, even have sought her out and begged her to do it. But he does ask her to spare Rosalie, at least. “She’s never killed anyone,” he tells her. “She never wanted to be a monster.”

“Neither did you,” says Bella. “Do you think that makes the things you’ve done justifiable? The lives they all took after you created them? While you stood by and did nothing?”

It is the last thing Carlisle Cullen ever hears, and he has no reply.

Bella does not wait for Emmett and Rosalie - she hasn’t the strength, now that she is no longer a newborn, to take down either of them. She slips away into the night. But she does consider Carlisle’s words. She does consider Rosalie.

Rosalie, who has never tasted human blood. Rosalie who fought harder than anyone against making Bella one of them, who would never create more of their kind willingly. Rosalie who hates vampires almost as much as Bella does. Under the right circumstances, she could make a powerful ally...