#i love how you can look at two miis and do a kiss or kill with them LMAO
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depending on the ship, it could differentiate between "commonly rare pair" and "holy fuck how did you think of that i need whatever ur smoking /pos" and it makes me wanna hold a contest on who can get the rarest of ships /j
do you ever just stop to think about how technically any wii sports ship is a rarepair because there isnt really much canon interaction
that also makes me realize every mii is like a blank canvas we can put our headcanons
#i think any ship that isn't in the friend connection could be considered a rare pair#but even then i dont think ive seen anybody actually ship matt and lucĂa together so maybe not#ik elisa x sarah wouldn't count as one tho everyone ships it /hyp /silly#(doesnt make it any less valid tho i love them as much as the next person)#i love how you can look at two miis and do a kiss or kill with them LMAO
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The Miys, Ch. 146
Whew, on a roll with queuing these up! Kind of proud of myself.
Speaking of proud... So many familiar names in the notes this week! Yâall are giving me a huge smile during a super busy week/month. Work has been bananas, weekends have been insane, and knowing that all of you are reading and enjoying the story gives me the encouragement I need to keep writing and to make the effort to keep the quality as consistent as possible.
All of you literally encourage me to take care of myself :)Â Thank you so much.Â
And, always, thank you to @baelpenrose, @charlylimph-blog, and @the-raven-fae, for everything you do, from beta-reading, to giving me stuff to read, to just keeping me reasonably sane.Â
I huffed as I put down the box of blankets in our new quarters. With our expected drop from hyperspace getting closer, we had finally been assigned quarters closer to the Archives. Xiomara and Tyche had both told me I was being âtoo niceâ by having Maverick put in the transfer request rather than doing it myself, but I still didnât think it was fair to use my unwilling position on the Council as leverage to get bumped to the front of the line. After all, we had a few months to go, and with everything else going on, it wasnât like I was in a hurry.
âConor, be careful!â Maverick scolded as a box of dishes landed on the regrettably-smaller counter. âYouâll break them!â
âMav, I love you to pieces,â Conor grunted and stretched his back. âBut I want to point out again that we can just recycle broken ones and request new ones.â Completely contradictory to his own words, he wrapped the other man in a crushing hug and whispered something in his ear.
When Maverick gave him a skeptical look, Conor opened the box and pulled out a chipped plate. âThe ones on the bottom are the ones with no chips, cracks, or stains. Promise.â
Hang on. âYou let Conor pack the dishes, but you only let me pack the blankets?!â I was honestly hurt.
Maverick kicked the floor gently, his way of showing embarrassment. âI was worried I would break them, and you know how attached I am to the chipped plates, and I knew he wouldnât get rid of themâŠ.â
âBaby,â I whispered. âBabe. Itâs okay. I like the chipped ones, too. I would never get rid of thoseâŠâ I held out a hand to see if he was receptive to a hug. When he tugged my hand, I squished his waist the best I could.
âYouâre so particular with the clothes, thoughâŠâ
âBecause I despise pills against my skin.â I shuddered at the thought. âThey feel⊠dirty.â
I could feel him shudder in agreement. âThey do, donât they?â
Conor gave us both a squish and shook his head, chin rubbing against us both. âJust leave my shirts alone, yeah?â
Maverickâs agreement with my philosophy nearly vibrated my soul. He never notices when we replace the pit-stained ones, itâs all okay. We both casually replaced the never-ceasing rotation of Conorâs white shirts when they were dirty past the point of laundering, but made a point to leave the permanently grungy coveralls until they either gained enough sentience to run away or fell apart in despair.
âYour shirts and Brenda, promise,â I tried to swear as solemnly as possible. âBrendaâ was the tilandsia xerographica that he had gifted me that first Insert Winter Holiday. She was currently twelve inches, and was the third love of Conorâs life.
He nodded before releasing us. âMav, the silverware is still by the door so you can make sure everything is in the right place. Sophia, Iâll put up the clothes if youâll sort where you want the blankets.â Without another word, he palmed the thermostat control and adjusted it to the agreed-upon settings we had maintained for years in our shared quarters. âHeadâs up, once I get the clothes sorted, I gotta go help Sam and Derek move.â
My neck cramped from the speed I whipped around to look at him. âDerek and Sam are moving?â
Maverick nodded, his chin against my scalp. âThey mutually requested relocation to stay in similar proximity to our quarters⊠specifically to Mac.â
I rolled my eyes. âIt is absolutely to be close to Mac. Not my blanket, not soup on tap, not Conorâs plants - â
âTheyâre your plants, love.â
âTell the plants that,â I joked. âYou keep them alive.â
He muttered something that sounded distinctly like âI donât know what youâre talking aboutâ as he gently set a box under Brendaâs stand and started unpacking spritz bottles, fertilizers, and the worldâs tiniest pruning shears.
I can honestly say I did not laugh. With the exception of the shears, all six spray bottles, the soaking tub, and the three different fertilizers had actually lived with me longer than he had. âThe point is that Iâm sure they arenât just moving to be closer to Mac⊠he roams the entire Ark, so itâs a pretty lame excuse.â
Maverick and Conor both shrugged before the former spoke. âSam likes how you cook his produce. And itâs a long walk from our previous quarters.â
âI am not going to apologize that his strawberries go better in ketchup, or that his tomatoes make amazing ice cream,â I waved off. âI know itâs a side effect of using the known composition of Vonâs soil and light, but⊠the strawberries are orange. Like a bell pepper.â
âBut the tomato soup from his tomatoes is amazing,â Conor granted. âNone of us even like tomato soup.â I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off. âThe one recipe you like, Sophie, proves my point, itâs not an argument. Itâs the only recipe you donâtâŠ.â He gestured vaguely. âYou know.â
âZhuzh,â I provided. âI donât zhuzh it.â
Somewhat out of nowhere, Maverick sat down in the new but familiar armchair and asked, âIs it expected to have a housewarming when you live in the same⊠building⊠ship⊠thingie⊠but moved quarters?â
âI - â Gaping, I turned to them both. âIâm not sure. I mean⊠we celebrated when you two moved into my quarters, but that was more a⊠wedding-slash-engagement thing. Have we been invited to any for just moving?â
Conor shrugged. âAll the moves were done in the first few years to settle down. Nothing like this.â
I tapped my chin before pulling up my datapad. âIâm seeing that a total of fifty people - fifty, really? - have been relocated, just to be closer to the Archives.â I took a couple of deep breaths. âI know itâs the furthest Protection Zone from the rest of the ship, but there are only fifteen people sheltering there, not counting Tyche and Alistair.â
Maverick gaped at me before waving both hands widely. âYou moved, so a total of five people relocated down here, which we were just discussing, and you donât understand how fifteen people turned into fifty?â He scowled. âSophie, I know you can do math.â
I glared at him. âGiven the nature of relationships on the Ark, I thought it would be higher, smartass.â I leaned over to kiss his chin. âBut that also makes me think⊠block party? Take the pressure off of us?â
Conor looked thoughtfully at both of us. âI think we should put up curtains, or - you know, soft barriers, something visible but easy to navigate - for the apartments where folks can duck and cover from being wound up too much?â
He had a good point. âJust to be clear,â I ventured, âyou just mean the apartments that people already know they can duck into?â
Conorâs enthusiastic nod dropped mine and Mavâs shoulders by a solid two inches. âYeah, color code them or put proximity alerts on them, something. I donât think anyone overstimmed wants to wander into a room full of strangers, right? Derek would know he can walk in here, straight to our bed, pile up under the blankets, and heâs fine, but⊠what if he walks into another personâs bedroom? Fuck all, Iâll kill someone.â
He had a point. I hated that he had a point, but he was right.
âWeâre purple, right?â
Conor and Maverick collectively rolled their eyes hard enough to make my head cramp. âDuh,â was the only response Maverick gave, while Conor just shook his head.
It was only a week later that they had the door to our old quarters repainted and retextured, and had the doors to our new quarters painted screaming purple with green and black stripes. Just to be clear, apparently.
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#the miys#found family#humans are weird#science fiction#aliens#apocalypse#humans are space orcs#humans are space fae#earth is space australia#post apocalypse#post post apocalypse#original science fiction#original sci fi#original writing
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His ray of sunshine, Chapter 9
Warning: Flashbacks/talk of: abuse/murder/attempted rape/homophobia.
Before Tom told Keira about his past, they both got up and dressed then went to the kitchen to have breakfast.
Once they finished eating and chatting about general things, Tom and Keira sat down on the sofa so he could tell her his storyâŠ
Nine-year-old Alpha Tom was crying and screaming at his father, pleading him not to do it.
One of his fatherâs Alpha friends grabbed him and pinned him down, squashing the side of his face to the floor and keeping him there. Tom had no option but to see the scene unfold on front of him.
âYou have disappointed me, son.â His father said to Tomâs brother, Joseph.
Joseph, twenty-one, was gagged and had his hands restrained behind him. His nostrils were flaring while he tried to escape, to get free.
âI will NOT stand for an Alpha loving another Alpha! Itâs wrong! And you must pay the consequences for your disgusting actions!â Their father shouted at Joseph, then went at him with a huge kitchen knife.
âNOOOOOOOO!â Tom screamed and struggled, but couldnât get out from the other Alphas grasp.
He watched his brother bleed to death, by his fatherâs own hand.
Eventually, when Tom was finally able to get up, he ran to his brother and crouched over his body. Sobbing hysterically.
âEnough, boy. Alphas donât cry or show emotion.â His father smacked him over the back of the head.
Tom glared up at his father. He vowed to himself at that very moment, that one day he would get vengeance upon his father. And that he would NEVER be like him. Ever.
Keira looked at Tom with her eyes wide when he told her about his brother, and his father catching him with another Alpha. Then that he killed the both of them.
She could see how obviously devastating it was. And it made sense as to why Tom was so protective over his pack, especially over Luke and Jeremy.
His eyes watered up while he spoke. Keira then crawled onto his lap and slid her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back and buried his face into her hair, breathing her in. She was so calming, he hummed in relaxation.
She was, without knowing exactly, sending out calming pheromones. Like all omegas could. And it was really helping him. Then he continued.
âOnce the mess was cleaned up, my father then released my mother and Jessica from the cupboard under the stairs. Heâd locked them in there out of the way, but wanted me to see in-case, I had any ideas, in his words.â
Keira then looked confused and leaned back slightly to look at him. âJessica?â
âYes. Sheâs my sister. Well, not by blood. Itâs kind of complicated and more her story to tell. But she is the daughter of my motherâs best friend. She unfortunately died, so my mother took Jessica under her wing when I was around seven and she was five. We grew close, and she is very much like a little sister to me. I love her dearly. My father never really was keen on her, because she wasnât his own. But, unfortunately, he then used that to his advantageâŠâ Tom sighed and ran a hand down his face.
âWhat do you mean?â Keira asked, not entirely sure if she wanted to hear the rest of it, in a way.
âMy mother was in an accident, I was twenty at the time. The injuries mother got meant she couldnât have anymore kids. Father was furious, because he wanted more. So he⊠he chucked mother out on the streets. Wouldnât let me and Jessica go with her. He tried to get me and Jessica to mate with each other. But I just couldnât do it. Sheâs like a sister to me. Even if not by blood. A few months later, I discovered that he⊠well, he had been trying to have it on with Jessica. I came home once to find him trying to claim her. She was screaming and pleading for help, but he was too strong. Iâd been working out hard, ever since he killed Joseph. I managed to haul him off her, then IâŠâ Tom took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Thinking back to that awful day.
Tom felt sick to his stomach when he saw his father trying to rape Jessica on the sofa. He launched for his father and hauled him off her.
âWhat the hell are you doing? You STUPID boy. GO TO YOUR ROOM!â He roared at Tom.
âNO! Leave Jessica alone!â Tom snarled angrily.
Jessica was on the sofa, in shock and terrified. Her clothes were torn and she was frozen to the spot, shaking badly.
âYou will NOT tell me what to do. Now I wonât tell you again, go to your room!â He went to turn to Jessica again, but Tom snapped.
âI said. Get. Away. From. Her.â Tom growled loudly.
His father smirked and turned back to him. âOh yeah? And what are you doing to do about it? You are a pathetic excuse for an Alpha. Wouldnât even fuck her yourself, even when she is in heat youâd rather lock yourself away in your room than give in to your primal urges!â
Tom snapped and he launched for his father. His father was startled by the sudden attack. They both scrapped in the living room, knocking ornaments over, the TV too. It was a big scuffle before Tom managed to punch his father right up the nose, making him bleed badly. Then he was able to get his arm around his neck and he pulled as hard as he could⊠choking him to death.
The adrenaline was running high in Tom. But he didnât feel even a little remorse when his fatherâs body fell to the floor with a loud thud. He stepped over him and rushed to Jessica, who was still shaking and scared.
âTom!â She cried.
âItâs ok. Youâre safe now. I promise, he canât hurt you ever again.â Tom took his omega sister into his arms and hugged her.
âI wonât let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise.â
âI killed my father.â Tom said to Keira, taking a moment before looking into her eyes. To his surprise, but relief, he saw nothing but love and kindness in her eyes for him.
Keira put her hand on his cheek and he smiled, covering her hand with his own as he turned his face into her palm and kissed her.
âI didnât want to kill him. But I had to save her.â He whispered. âI hope I havenât scared you.â Â
âNot at all. You did the right thing. You did what any good, amazing Alpha would do.â Keira said quietly, smiling softly at him.
âThank you, my little one.â He pressed his forehead against hers and smiled.
âI really have lived a quiet life compared to many, havenât I?â She asked, leaning back again.
Tom half smiled and nodded. âYou have. But thatâs not always a bad thing. I wouldnât wish what Jessica and I have been through upon anyone, even my worst enemies.â
Keira tilted her head slightly while she looked at her Alpha. Tomâs heart melted at that innocent look.
âYou may seem rather intimidating⊠But youâre a big softy I think.â She said shyly but with a big smile.
Tom chuckled and held the side of her neck. âPerhaps I am.â He grinned.
Tom was relieved that Keira took the news about his past so well. It seemed to make them a bit closer already, as she didnât seem quite as nervy after that.
He asked her to tell him more about herself, her life too. She said there wasnât much to tell, sheâd had a normal, quiet kind of life up until now. But Tom managed to pry some stories about her childhood out of her.
All good, mostly. Though she said that her father was barely around, and when he was at home she didnât get to spend much time with him. So being around Alphas was rather new for her, and had been rather daunting at first.
âDo you like video games?â Tom asked, getting up and going to look in the cupboard underneath the TV.
âI do!â She nodded eagerly. Her eyes lit up when Tom took out the Nintendo Wii. âOne of my friends has the Wii too, it was always so fun!â She grinned.
âI bet you canât beat me at tennis. Though I may be a bit rusty, itâs been a while since Iâve played.â He went to work setting it up, leaning behind the TV to plug it all in.
âIâm ace at the boxing.â Keira said when Tom joined her on the sofa again.
âWe shall see.â Tom winked at her.
They had fun setting up a Mii for her. She got a fit of the giggles when she saw Tomâs running around the plaza.
Tom was right, she didnât manage to beat him at the tennis games. But she did beat him at bowling and some of the boxing rounds, even when he was trying to cheat by distracting her a few times. Poking her in her side and nudging her with his hip.
Keira really enjoyed spending the day with Tom. She felt more and more relaxed with him as the day went on. And Tom noticed too, she was showing her true colours more. She was a bubbly, sweet, bright omega. And Tom was just falling for her more and more.
When Tom made dinner, she offered to help.
âIâve never actually cooked anything before.â She said sheepishly. âMy parents would never let me help in any way.â
âWell, I can certainly teach you what I know.â Tom smiled and cupped her cheek.
He showed her the best way to cut the vegetables and meat, but he was worried about her hurting herself since sheâd never used such a sharp knife before. So he watched over her carefully until he was sure she got the hang of it.
By the end of the cooking lesson, theyâd successfully made a stir fry.
âAnd there you have just made your first meal, well done, little one.â Tom grinned proudly as he dished it up.
âI couldnât have made it alone, though.â She smiled up at him.
âNot yet. A few more lessons and Iâm sure youâll soon be cooking up a storm.â Tom winked at her then motioned her over to the table while he carried the two plates.
As they sat opposite one another at Tomâs small table, Keira realised that she really was home.
Tom was kind and considerate. She could see the stern side of him that the others mentioned, but she could tell he was really soft too. He had been nothing but lovely and warm towards her.
Yes, she definitely could get used to being his omega.
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Fic Bits 2018: Part 3
SO. One happy morning, I went to post this from my drafts and my dumb fat finger hit âdeleteâ instead of âqueueâ and then I got sucked into work forever and ever and ever and never got around to posting part 3 of these. Incredibly delayed but here are the ones that fit into canon or headcanon or canon-adjacent.Â
Included in this pack:Â
âWinter Bliss Firstsâ - a little look at how Emma and Killian celebrate their first holiday season after the dust from the Black Fairy all settles. Fluff - G.
âIn His Own Eyesâ - I got a request for whump, which is not something I write. Ever. So this is a bit of reflection. Killian-centric, slight angst? - PG-13.
âA Definite Improvementâ - Some Captain Cobra and the evolution of their relationship after life has settled down. Fluff - PG? Sure.
âWinter Bliss Firstsâ
With the Black Fairy vanquished and their lives back on track, Emma and Killian soon find a rhythm as they settle into their new partnerships â both as husband and wife, and sheriff and deputy.
Emmaâs favorite is when winter finally hits in full force, the Maine weather forecasts getting bleaker by the day, to most.
To Emma, it means that less people will be out trying to cause trouble in their magical little town, which means they arenât really needed for patrol a majority of the time.
If the Bug wonât even move from the curb, then who else is going to really try to start something out there in the blizzard?
Day after day, they sink into their little haven; they light the fireplace and curl up on the couch, enjoying the peace and solitude when itâs just them, and welcoming Henry into their space when heâs not spending time with Regina.
The greatest thing about all of this is that they never had to figure out custody or a schedule â Henry just drifts between the households, spending time with his mothers and his step-father as if it was the most natural set-up of all.
Theyâre never grasping for their alone time, and theyâre never feeling neglected at their happy Victorian household.
When itâs Christmas time, Emma makes Killian go out to find a live tree for the first time in his life. He and David end up with the job of cutting down and hauling the trees. Â
Emma and Snow âhelpâ from the sidelines. Henry documents everything with both camera and pen, adding the tale to their storybooks.
Despite the fact that he knows almost nothing of the holiday, Killian easily goes along with the decorating, the baking, the traditions.
He is especially fond of the small cluster of mistletoe she posts above the door, kissing her every chance they get.
Emma enjoys watching him acclimate even further into modern living, still fascinated by the glimpses of Enchanted Forest and pirate that she sees peek out at random times.
But as the winter goes, so does his confusion to a lot of pop culture references.
The Christmas tunes easily get hummed and sung when sheâs least expecting him to join in.
But he still throws down doubloons at Grannyâs as a form of payment.
(Actually, sheâs pretty sure thatâs strictly for the reaction he gets from Granny, but he never says one way or the other.)
What she does know is that no matter how cold it gets outside, she always has Killian by her side to keep her warm.
Every once in a while, Emma thinks of the way he told her thereâd be no getting rid of him after their wedding day.
And really? She couldnât be more thankful that he was telling the truth about that.
âIn His Own Eyesâ
Despite his nature of being a bit of a scoundrel, Captain Hook is getting tired of all the times heâs been tied or chained to items since meeting Emma Swan.
Thereâs the knife to his throat, shortly followed by being tied to a tree and offered as food to an ogre. It reminds him of being trapped against the mast of his ship when Rumplestiltskin took his hand and his love, and he doesnât like it one single bit.
She chains him up at the giantâs lair, refusing to believe he could be helping her â to be fair, heâs been waffling at best on whose side heâs on â but still, the nerve.
Then thereâs Cora trapping him against the wall of that cave, his own Hook pulling at the fabric on his chest. His insides heave at the thought of this woman, but if sheâs his only way to skin a crocodile, then he has to stay on course.
The darkness of his heart and soul consumes him so often that he genuinely doesnât care if itâs bodily harm or a verbal lashing from any of these supposed heroes. All he knows is that he will have his revenge, even if he has to get hit by a bloody motor vehicle directly after.
Which is a good thing, since thatâs exactly what seems to have happened.
When Killian awakes in the hospital, itâs to a chain around his wrist â again â and Emma Swan telling him that his foe is still alive. With magic. And angry.
âIf I were to pick dead guy of the year, Iâd pick you.â
He supposes, of course, that it wouldnât be all that terrible to finally be free of this world and to join up with his Milah in the great beyond.
A trip to New York City to kill the Crocodile, and another journey being tied up, followed by another failure.
Time, and time, and time again, he fails and fails and fails. If he could just get his damn revenge and be on with life, it wouldnât be so bad.
But somewhere in there he begins to believe in living again.
It might have something to do with the unstoppable force that is Emma Swan and her band of happy heroes.
It could be that kiss in Neverland.
It could be that, for the first time since he was under his brotherâs command, he wants to do the good thing â the right thing.
And then it all gets taken away from him again, thanks to Panâs bloody curse, and heâs never going to see her again.
âThereâs not a day that will go by that I wonât think of you,â he tells her, just before they depart.
âGood.â
He thought having Milah die in front of him was bad enough, but having his second chance at love ripped away â to know that he has to live his life without her while she lives her life without him â hurts as much as if heâd watched her die, too.
Regardless of what happened in their missing year, all Killian knows is that he did not expect his reunion with Emma to result in injury to his person.
But he supposes even that hurts less than finding out sheâs found someone new.
He seems to be destined for heartache and heartbreak, no matter how he tries.
âA Definite Improvementâ
Thereâs a large pit of disappointment in Killianâs stomach when he walks outside with the video game controller and finds that it was all a ruse.
Heâs been struggling lately to connect with Henry, and figured it was about time they started bonding. Of course, it all goes much deeper than that.
Itâs not until much later that it all gets a little easier with the lad â after the world has quieted down and they arenât in constant fear for Emmaâs life.
Operation Best Man was a success, and after everything that went awry has settled, the ease with which they find harmony is astonishing.
Itâs a rainy day several months after he and Emma have been married that Henry comes into the living room and turns on his video game system, and Killian tilts his head a little.
âI did tell you Iâd teach you,â Henry says, handing over one of the controllers.
Killian does his best not to look too excited. Emma is out of the house visiting her parents so this is something purely for the benefit of bonding, no secondary alternatives.
After a few attempts at one of the games, however, itâs obvious itâs not going to work.
Killian was correct all that time ago when he said that the games werenât meant for people like him. He understands what to do, and the storyline, and how heâs supposed to play, but with one less hand, he just canât push all the buttons heâs supposed to, even if he braces it on his leg and uses his thumb on one side and the rest of his fingers on the other. Itâs just no use.
âWhy donât you keep playing, and Iâll just watch?â
The next day, the system disappears from the living room, and Killian looks at the vacant spot sadly, knowing that while he and Henry have plenty to bond over, this is something that just wasnât meant to be.
Two weeks later, Henry comes barreling down the stairs, flying out the door and down the walkway to meet one of the delivery people. He has no idea how mail gets transferred into a town that isnât on the map but he knows better than to question such things at this point.
When Henry comes back in, he immediately goes to the kitchen and to the drawer where they hide all their miscellaneous items. He can hear the box cutter being used, and the shuffling of something being removed from a box, but he focuses on the book heâs reading, thinking that Henry has just ordered an item for himself.
Heâs not entirely wrong; Henry has purchased what he calls a Wii.
âI used all my allowance and got mom to advance me some for the next month so I could order this,â he explains as he plugs in various items and finds batteries and puts a strange bar beneath their television.
Killian can feel how hard his eyebrows are drawn down in confusion, but Henry looks so excited.
âIâll explain as we go,â he says, holding out a strange item for Killian to take hold of. âYou slide that loop around your wrist and hold the controller like this.â
Killian follows the instructions, waiting as Henry fiddles with something else.
âOkay, weâre gonna make your Mii.â
âMy what now?â
âJust look at the screen and press the buttons I tell you to.â
âHenry, this small thing looks nothing like me.â
âItâs not supposed to be a ringer, Killian.â
âThereâs no option for facial hair.â
âWell, I guess youâll just have to live without the constant three day stubble.â
âSays the young man who has three day stubble at present and itâs just a clean face.â
âI can walk away, you know.â
âFine, fine. Get on with it⊠Those arenât my eyes.â
âNo, but those are your eyebrows.â
Killianâs eyebrow jumps up at the comment.
âSee! There it is!â
âWhy do my eyes look like that now?â
âThose are what your eyes look like when you look at my mom.â
âI would bloody hope so, sheâs my wife.â
âYou just like saying that.â
âDamn right I do. What do I do with this mini-me?â
âItâs just a Mii. And weâre going to play games with him now.â
âWe tried this, lad.â
âWe tried old school. Now weâre going with motion technology. Thereâs another part we could use, but weâll skip the games that use that so you donât have to be left out.â
He almost cries.
Thatâs a lie; he does cry. But he wipes it away quickly as Henry is explaining how theyâre going to play something called âtennisâ and he is awful at it at first but soon heâs catching on.
âWait wait, pause the game,â he tells Henry after no more than twenty minutes of game play.
He shuffles the strap off his wrist and sprints upstairs, flinging off vest and button-up shirt as he goes, finding one of the t-shirts he normally reserves for sleeping in during cold nights.
When Emma arrives home from work, he and Henry have both soaked through their shirts and have exhausted their games list.
âShould⊠should I even ask?â
Both of them shake their heads, too tired to even try speaking as they lie on the pieces of furniture closes to them.
She comes back after she sets down her keys and hangs up her jacket, handing them each a tall glass of water and grabbing one of the remotes off the coffee table.
âIâll take on whoever recovers first. Loser makes dinner tonight,â she states matter-of-factly. Her shoes are off, sheâs back in leggings and a t-shirt, and her hair is tied up. Killian idly wonders when she managed to change when he swears she was only home for seconds before she brought them water.
Then he looks across at Henry, and Henry looks back at him, and theyâre both scrambling from their prone positions trying to grab for the remote because thatâs a challenge theyâre willing to take on.
(They both end up making dinner, because they both lose to Emma despite their very best efforts and hours of practice.)
(âBeginnerâs luck,â Emma says, her smile saying otherwise as she sits on the counter and watches them work side-by-side.)
(Killian wouldnât have it any other way.)
#captain swan ff#cs ff#captain swan#captain cobra#sarah writes ff#killian jones#emma swan#henry mills#fic bits 2018
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Phantasm
A Christmas gift for my good friend Shay @snootyshay. Merry fucking Christmas.
~*~
Air is bristling with tension as man and machine stand behind their barricades. Markus is ill at ease, although his blank face cannot portray his worry. Heâs trying to calm himself, going around planting the flags and such. âMarkus! Markus come look!â His head snapping up, and heâs hurried to the edge of the protective circle. Well, fuck. Itâs the human negotiator.
âMarkus! Iâve come to talk to you Markus, â Perkins drawls. His face is so fucking smug. Markus wants to punch it. âCome on, you have my word. They wonât try anything.â
âDonât go, itâs a trap. They wanna get you out in the open.â North and Markus lock eyes, then turn back the human.
âIâm unarmed Markus, I just want to talk.â He continues and waits expectantly. The deviant leader weighs his options. One, the human could be offering a suitable compromise, and he could avoid bloodshed, or two, he would die. ...The other three could lead the revolution without him.
âI have to hear what he has to say.â North looks at him incredulously.
âWhat if they kill you?â Markus gazes back at Perkins, and the army behind him.
â...That is a chance I have to take.â There is no protest from the others, so he steps away, and leaves the protection of the barricades. Boots crunching down on the snow beneath him, RK200 comes to a apprehensive stop a good distance away from the FBI agent, and pauses.
âIn a few minutes, the troops will be ordered to charged. None of you will survive. This,â He throws his arm around, â-will all be over. ...But you can avoid that Markus.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âSurrender.â Was he that stupid? The possible fate of his people was resting in the deviant leaderâs hands, and he wanted him to just⊠give up? Perkins must have seen the skepticism in his expression, because he hurriedly continues, âThink about it Markus, youâre not coming out of this alive. Take this deal, however, and your life could be spared. Your people will be detained of course, but you will be allowed to live.â
âAre you asking me to betray my own people?â The scornful disbelief in his voice is highly apparent, but Perkins just shrugs nonchalantly. âWhat happened to the other androids protesting at the camps?â
âUnfortunately,â Markus doesnât believe he felt that way, ââthere were no journalists around to save them. Youâre the only ones left.â Markus blinks, and a sliver of grief dances across his eyes, before it transforms into rage. Perkins, just like almost every other human, is responsible for the innocent lives that had been lost. RK200âs lips transforms into a snarl, he growled, âI would rather die than betray my own people.â Perkins shrugs again.
âYour choice, Markus.â Both turn sharply on their heels and walk back to their respective sides.
Markus hadnât taken even ten steps when something embeds itself into the junction between his neck and and the base of his head. Heâs on the ground in an instant. A thousand and three thoughts flitin his mind in panic all at once, like how heâs sorry that he had failed the revolution and he hopes against all odds that they would all get out safely, and how heâd never got to tell his friends how he really felt. Pandemonium roared around him, heavy footsteps crashing as hands grab at him desperately. As his consciousness sinks into oblivion, Markusâ last coherent thought is the hope that heâs going to be able to see Carl again.
~*~
Markus blinked blearily, his mind drifting back to reality. Obnoxious sunlight dared to filter through the blinds of the window, and he hissed, turning away. For some reason, his heart was beating wildly, as if it was afraid. Fatigued, the android cast his sleepy mind back to whatever he had been dreaming about. Perkins and his stupid face, a traitorous bargain, ⊠the revolution! North, Simon and Josh! Spurred on by the horrifying prospect of his friends being in mortal danger, he leaped from the bed (why was he in a bed?) and caught sight of himself in the mirror. It wasnât the fact that he was pajamas, or that he was in a bedroom for that matter, but the fact his eyes were back to their original green that caught his attention. Now cautious, Markus padded his way to the edge of the room and peeked around the door. The sight before him made his eyes widen.
North was seated in a couch with Josh, engaging the other in a very energetic discussion about teleportation, while Simon was operating the microwave, the sound of popping popcorn pitter-pattering in the microwave. Markus lingered in the corridor, dumbfounded. How were they still aliveâŠ? Simon noticed him, and shot him a gentle smile. âHiya, sleepyhead.â Josh and North looked back at him and North smirked.
âThe sleeping beauty arises, huh?â Markus made no response, but continued to stare at her in disbelief. No-one noticed, and Josh stood up to stand next to the TV.
âWe were going to watch Wall-E, because⊠the reason is obvious.â In a daze, Markus nodded, and moved to sit in where Josh had once sat. Josh shot him a playful glare, shoving him lightly. Now with Simon joining them, the Jericrew were squished into a 3-person couch. No-one seemed to mind. The TV flickered on, and a small robot rumbled on scene, with wide binocular eyes. EyesâŠ
âGuys, why are my eyes back to green?â
North looked at him strangely. âIs that a trick question? Carl asked old Kamsko if he could produce another eye for you, âcause the blue one was starting to get faulty.â Carl? Carl was dead. Markus had watched him die⊠âNow pass the popcorn, Iâm hungry.â Absentmindedly, he did so. Thinking back to the last thing he remembered, Markus tried again. â...What happened after I got shot?â
Without taking his eyes of the screen, Simon replied, âYou fell, and the troops were about to advance, when the deviant hunter showed up with all the other androids that he had liberated from the warehouses, and the army was ordered to retreat. We went back to base, and repaired you. The next week, Perkins shows up with a peace treaty, saying that android rights were being taken into consideration due to the increasing amount of human protests. From there, we got basic personhood rights.â
â...How did we get into this apartment?â
Josh rolled his eyes. âBecause, you idiot, you confessed your love to Simon, and asked him to partake in a threesome. And then-â
North interrupted him. âAnd then Josh got really sad and thought that he wasnât good enough but he masked it as jealousy. Eventually you conceded and let him into the poly and he almost collapsed with relief.â
Josh was about to throw a pillow at his girlfriend, but Simon opened his mouth. âNow that we owned Joshâs gay ass, we moved out of Carlâs house and into this apartment. Josh claimed the bedroom closest to you, of course.â In response, Josh flopped into Simonâs lap with a pout that obviously held the wrath of a thousand suns, but that anger mysteriously vanished when Simon sighed and pressed a kiss against his forehead, causing Josh to giggle. It was almost as if the PJ500 had pretended to be upset to get attention, but Josh would never do anything that scandalous.
The movie rumbled on, and Markus began to doze. A single thought flashed across his mind before he fell fully asleep. How could they eat popcorn if they were androids?
~*~
The table is cold against his back. Why is he on a table? How can he tell heâs on a table? Markus canât even see. But he can hear. He can hear worried voices murmuring around him. Two males, and a female. He tries to move his fingers, but all they do is twitch. The Jericrew notices him though, thankfully. âMarkus?! Markus, can you hear us?â They say altogether. Markus wants to nod, to tell them that heâs safe. Not just that, he wants to hold them close and never let go. He wants them to know that he loves them.
âL...lo...love y...ou guys.â Itâs heavily slurred, dripping with robotic static, but they hear him. A hand in his, then in his other. An arm is on his chest, protective.
âWe love you too.â Hushed. In case humans might hear. In case they might hear it and ruin everything. Markusâ cheeks are wet, heâs crying. His back hurts, did they shoot him there too? Both hands are trying to comfort him, rubbing him their thumbs over his palms in soothing circles. âWe love you so much.â Northâs voices is half broken. North isnât supposed to break. No-one's supposed to break. The humans keep breaking, breaking and breakingâŠ
~*~
âShhh...â A hand smoothed down his back, massaging it. Markus relaxed into itâs touch, leaning closer. He and the other person stay like that for awhile, until Markusâ breathing has calmed down. The android twists around on the bed, to better see the other. A blonde head and kind blue eyes gaze back at him. Simon opened his arms for a hug, and Markus fell into his embrace eagerly. The green-eyed one found that he very much liked hugs, with arms wrapped up around him and his face in someone elseâs chest. Simon was warm. Safe. Wafe?
âWhy were you crying, Markus?â There was no response, only the other body snuggling closer. Simon gave a sigh, and two green eyes peeked back at him, inquisitive. The PL600 patted the other on the head, and the two eyes slid shut again.
âNightmareâŠâ A sleepy voice mumbled. Simon gave a concerned hum, and hugged Markus closer.
âWanna tell me what it was?â Markus shook his head, and snuggled closer. He diverted the attention to Simon.
âWhy were you up?â Â Simon blinked at the question, then looked to the side.
âCouldnât sleep.â Markus wanted to press further, but the look in Simonâs eyes halted him in his tracks.
âGuess we both canât sleep, huh?â
Simon hummed. âNo-one can sleep when their bedroom is next to Northâs bedroom and she snores like a bull.â
Markus snorted. â...So are we just gonna stay like this?â
â...Yeah.â
And so they did.
âŠ
âMarkus, please stop trying to deviate the miis and actually try to win.â Markus gave a whine, but didnât stop nudging his motorbike to the very edge of the road. The mii looked down on him with soulless eyes, itâs cheering robotic and effortless, but oh so empty. Itâs smile was carved into its face, and Markus could see Waluigiâs mustache quiver slightly with unease, as if it could sense the uncanny energy that the mii exuded. It gave Markus the heebie-jeebies.
A Yoshi whooshed past him, and by looking at Joshâs quadrant of the screen, he could see that the PJ500 was well on his way to first place. North, on the other hand, was well behind. Undeterred by the prospect of losing, she was giggling as the randomiser chose her powerup. âI got a blueshell!â She crowed, and Josh tensed beside her.
âNorth...no.â
âNorth yes!â She released the horrible creature and it sped past Waluigi, who was engrossed in a staring contest with a demon. It whizzed past a Luigi, who was being assisted by one of those turtle-cloud helper thingies. As it finally reached its target, the Yoshi looked back at the screen in dismay, pleading for its infinitesimal life. It was shown no mercy, as the screen turned a deathly blue and the poor beast was thrown to high heavens. As it spun out of control, the overlapping laughter of Bowser and his puppeteer echoed in its ears. Josh immediately whacked North with a pillow, who let out a pleased cackle.
âYou always hit me!â
âBecause youâre always first!â
âWell, youâre just jealous I got better at the game!â This made Northâs face twist into a scowl. She got up.
âAlright, losers. Whoâs up for some good old Just Dance?â The boys gave noncommittal grunts. Such enthusiasm. As North switched the CD, she placed a hand on her chest regally.
âAs reigning Just Dance Queen, I offer a challenge to one of my peasants who is known as Josh.â Said peasant groaned into his hands, and his boyfriends nudged him teasingly. âI challenge him,â Her Majesty continued, âTo a tournament of my craft.â
â...Whatâs in it for me, Your Majesty?â The pure defeat in this PJ500âs eyes suggested that this event had happened before, and had not ended well.
âAn apology, for rightfully knocking you from first place.â Josh sighed, and stood to take his place next to his queen. The music started, and Simon nudged Markus, stage-whispering: âThereâs some popcorn in the cupboard. Go get us some.â
âI heard that.â Ignoring him, Markus snickered and retrieved the popcorn, then the PL600 and RK200 watched the show. During one of the songs, the moves required the contesters to pull the legendary âDisco Fingerâ, and North got a bit too enthusiastic. She whacked Josh in the face with her arm, and he fell to the floor with a groan. The game abandoned, the poly rushed to aid their fourth member. He was fine, nothing wounded. Except his pride, of course. After being rewarded with a pouty glare, North raised her arms in glee and crowed. âVictory!â She shrieked.
âHmph.â Her Majesty looked down at the unhappy android on the floor and sighed.
âAlright, câmere, you grumpy baby.â She pulled Josh into her lap, who squeaked at her strength, and pressed a firm kiss to his mouth. He squeaked in suprise again, before returning it gratefully. Chuckling, the others moved forward to pepper kisses in any areas they could find. Today was now treat your favourite PJ500 day.
âŠ
9:00pm. Josh lay slumped on his desk, his encyclopaedia askew beneath him and snoring softly. The door creaked slowly open, and strong arms tugged him gently towards his bed. Dazed, chocolate brown met chartreuse green, and Josh fell onto the mattress. âMarkusâŠ?â He mumbled, but was silenced by a soft peck to the lips. The taller immediately melted into the otherâs embrace, allowing himself to be spooned. âWhyâŠ?â
âJust a precaution.â Josh would have been confused by those words, but the velvet mesh of sleep had already claimed him.
~*~
âWe finally found the robofucker, boys. Have fun.â Heâs being spat on. Itâs wet against his cheek, but he canât wipe it away. Heâs shackled. Shackled and writhing. Writhing and powerless. Powerless and blind. A punch to the gut has him breathless. Then more and more hits are raining down on him. He wants to scream, but he wonât give them the satisfaction of seeing him cry.
âItâs not doing anything, boss.â
âDonât worry, we can fix that.â
Chilled, he waits as the footsteps of many humans fades away. Scanning the area, he feels the simultaneous pulsing hearts of his kind around. It comforts him. He calls out to them, and the collective pulsing quickens with panic. A hundred voices echo in his head, trying to say so many things at once. He tries to answer them, but he canât. Thereâs too many of them. Three important voices rise above all the others, and heâs instantly soothed by them. His lovers(?) will find him. Everything will be okay.
The humans are back. Something is plugged into his neck, and he squirms in anticipation. He screams, waves of pain overwhelm him, drown him. Heâs thrashing, and shrieks are ripped from his chest. Mocking laughter echoes in his ears, and clapping ensues. Sadists. Heâs begging them to stop, tears of agony are streaming down his face. Tears of mirth are running down their faces.
âSo what are we going to going to the tincan after this?â
âLeave it the scrapyard, of course. What are you thinking?â
âI thought we could⊠decorate it, you know? Itâs probably already called itâs friends, so why donât we leave them a message?â One of them claps the other on the back.
âI love the way you think! I have the perfect knives.â
âGuys, I found a taser!â Itâs too much for his systems, and he is released. Jericho was close, but salvation was closer.
~*~
âMarkus⊠Markus. Markus! Markus, youâre squeezing me, thatâs a bit too tightâMARKUS!â The RK200 jolted awake, and immediately untangled himself from the other. Josh was flustered, and was about to remark on the situation when he noticed the other was curled up and shaking. Cautiously, he placed a tentative hand on the otherâs arm, but was immediately whacked in the stomach and knocked back. Markus was breathing hard, babbling under his breath for them (who?) to keep back, to stop hurting him. The other man kept his distance, watching him carefully.
âMarkusâŠ?â He tried. The androidâs eyes snapped open, then focused on him. A beat, and then heâs upon him, holding him closer and crying.
âTheyâre going to find you, you have to get out of here!â Markus kept rambling and almost squeezed his boyfriend half to death. Josh didnât complain this time, and returned the hug gently.
âWhoâs going to find me?â It took the android some time to realise that his chains were gone, and his heaving breaths started to calm down. His grip didnât lessen. They sat there, in silence. The skin of Joshâs hand retracted, and Markus grabbed it. Across the interface, the RK200 reveled in the rivers of comfort that flowed to him. When asked about what happened, Markus simply released the feelings he had had, and they were quenched immediately.
âNo-one's going to hurt meâŠâ
âI know, I just got scaredâŠâ
âLetâs just have a lazy day today, alright?â
âMhmâŠâ Markus snuggled deeper into Joshâs chest, and the door creaked open. North and Simon, without saying a word, crumpled onto them both, creating a cuddle pile with Markus at the bottom. A small vibration rumbled in Markusâ chest, something that sounded somewhat like a purr. It spread throughout all the deviants, until the room was filled with pleased thrumming. It was all fine and dandy, until crimson warning signs flashed in his vision, signalling shut down.
~*~
It is cold. It is dark. It is⊠the scrapyard. Every androidâs nightmare, to be left alone, scarred and used. Heâs already been left behind here, not again! He struggles, but all his connections are fried. Not again, not again, not againâŠ! Voices. Not groaning and staticky cries, but voices! He cries out. Footsteps come closerâŠ
âMARKUS! OH MY GOD, MARKUS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU!â A high feminine voice, raw with emotion. It sounds horribly wrong, for someone who is usually as frosty as the North PoleâŠ
Hands trace the marks on his face, the marks on his arms, the marks on his everywhere. The scars on his cheeks are two deep, intricate spirals, as if someone took a lot of time designing them. The others are messy, made in a frenzied excitement. Words appear to be carved into them. He doesnât want to know what they say.
âMarkus, weâre so sorryâŠâ Warnings crowd his mind, and he shivers. Tears are rolling down his cheeks, he canât tell if itâs his own. It is cold. It is dark. It is⊠oblivion.
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whyâd you gotta be talkative?
banjou/misora/kazumi || 4357 words || sfw || pre-poly / confessions
Banjou isnât in love with Misora and Kazumi is going to prove him wrong.
[ AO3 ]
Banjou isnât Misoraâs boyfriend.
Thatâs fine.
They arenât dating per say, they just havenât given a name to kiss and tell they have between them. Banjou doesnât want to give a promise, a commitment, to something that may not last as long as his first commitment did, and Misora is fine with that (he thinks), she agrees with him even. But, when all is said and done, he still cares for Misora and there is a small part of him that is overly protective of her, a part that years to call her his.
Kazumi utterly adores Misora.
And thatâs fine.
Misoraâs very cute and utterly irresistible, if a little scary, and Kazumi isnât even fazed by her scowl and glare, no matter if itâs directed at him or not. Kazumi brings Misora gifts â well, more âtrinketsâ than gifts â whenever they come back from wherever theyâve visited that day, and Misora takes them because thatâs the polite thing to do; and Banjou always has the urge to go out and buy her whatever sheâs been hankering after that week, whether it be a giant sheep plush or that cute skirt and blouse combo theyâve both had their eyes on for her.
Whenever Kazumi does something for Misora, Banjou wants to do something bigger for her. Every part of his mind screams at him to top whatever Kazumi did with something bigger, something better, something with more care and thought, with more loâ
No, not love. Heâs not in love with her.
Banjou likes her like a crush, no matter how juvenile and pathetic that sounds. What business does he have, as a man, going around and crushing on someone? No matter how cute and amazing that someone is. In fact, now that he thinks about it, he isnât sure what word to define his and Misoraâs relationship. âLikeâ and âCrushâ are too childish; âInfatuationâ is too serious; âLoveâ is too extreme.
No, heâs not in love with her. Heâs enamoredâlost in the dizzying, giddying feeling of being so at peace and relaxed with someone whilst also being drunk on everything about them. Yes, âenamoredâ works perfectly.
He should thank Sento for giving him that word, and he would now, if it wasnât for the fact that he was waving his hand in front of Banjouâs face again, a scowl turning the corners of his lips downwards as Banjou looks right past him, glaring at the back of Kazumiâs head.
âYou need to stop staring.â Sento tells him when Banjou tears his eyes away from Kazumi and turns back to whatever Sentoâs trying to show him with a scowl. âIf youâre really so mad about him being smitten with Misora, ask her to be your girlfriend. I promise you; sheâll be overjoyed.â Sento assures him with a roll of his eyes before he sits back down and begins to fiddle with his newest invention.
Banjou folds his arms across his chest. âDonât fix whatâs not broken.â He says and Sento peers at him from the corners of his eyes.
He points his screwdriver at Banjou. âDoesnât mean it canât be improved.â
âTrust me; me and Misora dating wouldnât improve anything.â Banjou says, crouching down to rest his chin on the table. âIt would just open up to a conversation that neither of us want to have and weâll probably have a terrible, horrible breakup, and we wonât be able to look at each other.â
Sento blinks at Banjou slowly. âAre you stupid?â He asks him and Banjou frowns, his eyebrows furrowing.
âIâm sorry?â Banjou asks. âWhat?â
Sento sighs and rolls his eyes again. Banjou wishes heâd stop doing that, because Sento does that far too often for his liking. âYou should really stop doing that.â Banjou says to him, because heâs nothing if not without a filter. âEver heard what old ladies used to say? âKeep doing that and one day your eyes will get stuck like that.ââ
Sento places down his screwdriver and rubs his temples. âOh, I wait eagerly for that day.â He says dryly. âLook, are you content playing this convoluted game of cat and mouse with Misora until you die?â
Banjou blinks owlishly at him. âDie?â He repeats. âThatâs a bit dramatic.â
âEvery day as a Kamen Rider is a safety hazard.â Sento reminds him and, really, Banjou canât fault that. âIf youâre unhappy with something, change it. Otherwise youâll just be miserable, and Iâm so tired of you moping and sulking whenever Kazumi goes anywhere towards Misora with the intention of being all gooey and sappy with her.â
âIâm not sulking.â Banjou says with a frown, ignoring the way Sento looks at him. âAnd Iâm not unhappy., Kazumi doesnât annoy me and Iâm fine with Misora accepting his stupid gifts and with him fawning over her.â
Sento purses his lips into a straight line and looks, for a moment, like he is about to say something, before he just sighs and dismisses Banjou with a wave of his hands. âAlright,â he says shortly. âYouâre fine. While youâre here, make yourself useful and hand me that soldering tool.â
Banjou hands Sento the soldering tool and turns back to look at Misora at the same time her eyes lock with his. She smiles at him and gives him a small wave, and he waves back, a grim curling his lips.
Yeah. Heâs fine.
* * *
How Banjou ended up here, with Kazumi, he didnât quite know. Just like he didnât quite know how one moment Sento was beside them, talking their ears off about practicing and raising their Hazard Levels before he took off somewhere into the distance without another word. He wonders how a man so loud and talkative can be so silent and secretive.
For a guy and a Rider, Kazumiâs good, Banjou has no bad blood fighting with him. As a friend, on the other hand, Banjou is violently neutral. Heâs getting closer to âgoodâ in his books though; he bought Banjou a soda. And thatâs where they were now, sitting on a bench in the middle of a ravaged street, drinking soda in a decidedly neutral silence. After all, what were they supposed to talk about? Silence was safer.
âSo,â Kazumi begins, and Banjou looks up to see him looking down at his can. âMii-tan.â He says.
Banjou immediately tenses up. âHer name is Misora.â He murmurs into his can.
Kazumi nods and they lapse back into silence.
âSo,â Kazumi says again and Banjou has to scowl to stop his eye from twitching. âMisora.â
Banjou slams his can down onto the free space of bench between his legs and looks to Kazumi with a glare. âWhat about her?â He asks harshly. âWhatâs this about, huh? What exactly are you trying to do?â
Kazumi laughs, fucking laughs, and places his can on the ground at his feet, turning to Banjou with his hands held up in surrender. âIâm not trying to do anything, Banjou.â He assures and thereâs something strange in the way that Kazumi says his family name. Banjou eyes his more carefully and lifts the can slowly to his lips âIâm just trying to find some common ground with you; you and Misora are⊠well⊠together arenât you?â
Banjou chokes on his soda and spits it out onto the floor. âWe⊠weâre notâweâre not together!â Banjou splutters loudly and Kazumi watches him in amusement. âWeâre not dating!â
âBut you areâŠâ Kazumi trails off, giving Banjou a meaningful look while Banjou just looks at him blankly. âYâknowâŠâ He trails off again, raising his eyebrows purposefully, trying desperately to get Banjou to catch on. He doesnât. Kazumi sighs in exasperation. âChrist, Banjou. Youâre sleeping with her, I mean."
Banjou chokes on the air, glaring at Kazumi when he chuckles, before straightening up. âWell, yesâŠâ He says, trailing off quietly before he scowls at Kazumi. âWhat does that have to do with you?â
Kazumi shrugs. âNothing,â he says before he smiles at Banjou. âYou two are a cute couple.â
âWeâre not a couple.â Banjou says. âWeâre not dating, weâre justâŠâ
âSleeping together.â Kazumi add and Banjou nods, falling silent. âThatâs a little casual for you.â
Banjouâs eyebrow twitches, a scowl slowly making its way on to his face. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Banjou asks through grit teeth, his free hand clenching into a fist. He has to stop himself from bursting his can.
Kazumi glances at him as he leans back on the bench, his elbow rest on the backboard. âWell you donât do anything casually, do you? You didnât box casually, you donât do the Rider thing casuallyâI mean, itâs your job now.â Kazumi shrugs and looks away off into the sky, kicking his feet out. âMaybe it makes sense. It means youâre dedicated.â
Banjou snorts. âOf course Iâm dedicated.â He says as he clasps his can with both hands, his fingers tapping the sides. âI donât half-ass anything, and I donât fuck around.â He says pointedly and with a smirk, Kazumi just smiles at him.
âIâm dedicated as well,â Kazumi says casually as Banjou peers at him. âIâm dedicated to my friends, to Hokuto, to JapanâŠâ He trails off to eye Banjou. âTo Misora and Mii-tan. To you and Sento. I fight for the things Iâm dedicated to, so keep that in mind.â
For a moment, they eye each other, neither one wanting to be the one to look away first, in deathly silence. Banjou glares and Kazumi just smirks at him.
âDo you like her or something?â Banjou asks dryly. âI know youâre obsessed with Mii-tan, but Misora is entirely different to Mii-tan.â
âOf course I like her,â Kazumi says easily. âSheâs cute and she could probably kill me if she wanted. She can defend herself, and sheâs nice to talk to.â
Banjou snorts and Kazumi eyes him. âLiking someone is a little childish at your age, isnât it?â He asks before he turns to Kazumi with a fake curious expression. âHow old are you now? Forty? Youâre double her age.â
Kazumiâs smirk curls downwards into a scowl, his eyes narrowing at Banjou. âIâm twenty-nine.â He growls and Banjou raises an eyebrow, whistling lowly.
âGetting on in age, are you, old man?â Banjou asks and Kazumiâs furious expression deepens.
âIâm six years older than you,â Kazumi snaps. âIâm hardly an old man. What are you, five? It seems like you are, since youâre acting like a petulant child.â
Banjou gives him a sickly-sweet smile laced with anger. âCry about it.â
Kazumi stares at him for a moment before his eyes widen and he leans back, settling into the bench as he laughs lowly. âIf thatâs how it is, then so be it.â He says and Banjou doesnât even glance at him. âItâs not like youâre her boyfriend, since youâre just sleeping together. I donât have to get your opinion on this matter, itâs hers that matters.â
âAre you really going to do this?â Banjou says, spitting the words at Kazumi like poison. âAre you really going to woo her just to piss me off?â
âWell, now that you said it, yes!â Kazumi says with a triumphant smile, patting Banjou twice on the shoulder before he stands. âYou said it yourself; youâre just sleeping with each other. Itâs not like youâre going out or anything.â
Banjou growls and leaps to his feet, getting as close to Kazumi as he can manage, a stormy look on his face. âIs this a fucking game to you?â He asks.
Kazumi winks at him. âTry not to cry too hard when you lose.â He says, patting Banjouâs arm before he walks around him and back to Nascita.
Banjou squeezes the can in his hand so tight it explodes.
* * *
Banjou and Kazumiâs feud continues silently and scathingly, and with jabs and misplaced hands that leave punches in uncomfortable places, and with Sento sighing and rolling his eyes every time they scold or argue with each other.
Sentoâs opinion of the feud is that itâs stupid, and, on some subconscious level, Banjou thinks so too. He doesnât know what Kazumi thinks, and, honestly, he doesnât want to; heâd rather not know whatâs going on in Kazumiâs mind, heâs sure heâd find out something that he wouldnât want to know. But Banjou hates losing, and heâd rather lose to Gentoku or Stalk before he ever lost to Kazumi. The thought of him losing to Kazumi makes him angry, and not because heâd be losing to Misora â sheâs her own person, sheâs not a prize â but because Kazumi could hold that over him for as long as theyâre stuck in each otherâs presence. And heâd rather turn into a Smash than have to look at Kazumiâs smug face.
Banjou is broken from his line of thought to Misora poking him in the cheek, and he glances down at her.
She looks beautiful like this, he thinks. Her hair is slightly ruffled and she looks adorably sleepy and small in his shirt, and sheâs pouting up at him while she pokes at his cheeks, rubbing the top of her head against his bare shoulder.
âWhy are you scowling?â Misora asks before she pouts, and Banjou smiles at the sight. âIt wasnât bad, was it?â
Banjou chuckles at that and catches her hand in his own, lifting it gently to his lips so he could kiss her fingertips. âNo,â he says softly. âIt wasnât bad. It was great as always.â
âThen why were you scowling?â Misora asks him.
Banjou cups her face in his hands and leans down to press a lingering kiss to the top of her head. âDonât worry about it.â He tells her gently as he pushes stray strands of her hair back from her face. âItâs just stupid Rider stuff. Worrying about Sento.â
Misora snorts, leaning into Banjouâs touch. âWhen donât you worry about him.â She says.
âExactly.â Banjou replies. âItâs nothing.â
âIâm glad that itâs just that.â Misora says softly as she settles down to rest her head on Banjouâs chest. âI thought you were mad at Kazumin still.â
Banjou snorts as he begins to stroke Misoraâs hair, allowing his finger to comb through it. âYou call him Kazumin now? That sounds so stupid.â
Misora shrugs. âHe told me to.â She says before she peers up at Banjou with a small, teasing smile. âBesides, itâs just as bad as Mii-tan, donât you think?â
Banjou does, and shakes his head. âNo.â He says. âYouâre cuter. Yours doesnât matter as much.â He tells her, moving his hands to squish her cheeks, chuckling when she pouts and smacks his hands away.
âDonât be mean!â Misora scolds, furrowing her brows in an exaggerated grumpy look.
âOr what?â Banjou asks, grinning.
Misora sits up and crosses her arms across her chest and Banjou almost has a heart attack, wondering how one person could be so damned cute at every opportunity. He wants to take her frustration seriously, he really does, but she just looks too cute pouting at him like that in his shirt.
âOrâŠâ Misora begins, trailing off to think before she grins at him. âOr I wonât give you any more kisses.â
Banjou gasps and lays a hand over his heart, leaning closer to clasp her hand in his. âWhat a cruel punishment!â He says dramatically, an exaggerated look of desperation on his face. âPlease, sweetheart, darling, wonât you forgive me?â
Misora looks at him and flutters her eyelashes. âOh, I donât know.â She sighs dramatically.
âLove,â He says. âPlease? Come on, Princess.â
The final nickname makes Misora melt and she grins widely before she throws her arms around Banjouâs neck and pulls herself onto his neck as he peppers her face in kisses. She giggles as he does so.
âI guess youâre forgiven.â She tells him as she presses a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter.
Banjou grins up at her. âIâll never hurt you again, princess.â
They hear a loud sigh from the other side of the room and they look to see Sento standing up, a tired look on his face. He turns to them. âPlease,â he says. âJust date already.â The words make Banjou roll his eyes and Misora go pink.
âLeave if itâs too much for you.â Banjou tells him with a smirk and Sento raises an eyebrow.
âIâm going to find Kazumi,â he says, his eyes darting between them. âNext time go have sex somewhere else.â
Banjou flips Sento the middle finger as he walks the spiral staircase and disappears into the ceiling. Misora giggles and collapses into bed, splaying herself out like a starfish and giggling further when Banjou tickles her to get her to move over. She moves and rests her head back on Banjouâs chest when he settles back down comfortably, making a small noise of sleepy protest when Banjou grabs up her phone.
He grins when he sees the lock screen. âAw, âSora, I didnât know you liked my face that much.â He teases, flashing the selfie of him that Misora had set as her background.
âYou have a stupid face.â She grumbles into him.
âA handsome stupid face.â Banjou corrects with a smile.
Misora makes a half-hearted noise of disgruntlement. âWhatever,â She says. âJust donât mess with my Neko Atsume.â
Banjou smiles down at her and strokes her hair. âI wonât,â he assures her, though he knows sheâs already falling asleep for both exhaustion and the soothing motions that Banjouâs using to pet her head. âYou just sleep.â
Misora easily settles down beside him and is asleep in minutes, her body a warm weight against his, and he looks down at her fondly for a minute, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he smiles proudly, flicking through her Snapchat friends to answer messages. Most of them were just several online friends that liked the same things that Misora did and they often chatted back and forth, Banjou pointedly ignores the ones with English names and scrolls to the bottom of her friendâs list, his eyes narrowing as he spots the usernameâKazuminS.
Banjou was about to put her phone down entirely and go back to cuddling Misora, his thumb hovering over the on button, before he stops and allows a mischievous grin to stretch across his lips. Â He double taps the name and the camera opens to the image of his chin. He pulls the phone back until the screen shows his shit-eating grin, and a sleeping Misora on his shirtless chest, and he taps the capture button on the screen with his thumb.
It takes him less than two seconds to type the caption before he sends it off and places Misoraâs phone on the bedside table before he wraps his arms around her, buries his chin in her hair and closes his eyes.
* * *
Kazumi is eating M&Mâs with Sento when his phone buzzes.
He shoves the M&M packet into Sentoâs hands and digs into his pocket to retrieve his phone, a small smile crossing his lips when he sees a Snapchat notification from Misora. He unlocks his phone and taps to view the notification, tapping on Misoraâs name when it pops up next to a red square.
Out of the things he expected to see when he clicked on her name, he did not expect to see Misora asleep on Banjouâs chest (was that his shirt that she was wearing?) while Banjou wore a fucking annoying grin. He blinks down at the image until it disappears, the caption etched into the back of his mind.
Iâm winning, Kazumi. Can you say the same? ;)
* * *
âAre you two ever going to give it a bloody rest?â Sento asks in exasperation.
Banjou and Kazumi look up from their place in the middle of the basement, where Banjou has managed to wrangle Kazumi into a headlock. They exchange a look and then look back to Sento with a straight face. Sento takes one look between them, sighs and turns back to his workbench.
âThis is important, Sento,â Kazumi says seriously and Sento sighs harder.
Banjou nods in agreement. âIâm not going to lose to an old man.â
âYou two are behaving like children,â Sento scolds firmly. âYou are wrestling in my basement and if you continue to do so, Iâm going to kick you both out. So, Banjou, let go of Kazumi.â Reluctantly, Banjou releases Kazumi from his grip and Sento lets out a relieved breath. âThank you.â
Banjou glares at Kazumi. âOld man.â He mouths.
Kazumi flips him off. âDumbass.â He mouths back.
Sento points between them and they both freeze. âCan one of you get me the tiny wrench that only fits in the bolts with the hole in it?â He asks and Banjou sighs as he turns in the direction that Sento is pointing.
âWhat?â Banjou asks as he reaches the table.
âThe thingy that secures the socket screw!â Sento calls back. âThe hex-key or whatever!â
Kazumi blinks at him. âYou mean an Allen wrench?â He asks.
Sento frowns at him as Banjou seizes up the Allen wrench and heads over to Sento. âProbably,â he says to Kazumi, only to grin up at Banjou when he hands him the wrench. âExactly! Thank you, Banjou; youâre useful after all.â
Kazumi looks between Sento and the wrench. âAnd youâre meant to be a genius.â He hums thoughtfully.
âPhysicist, Kazumi,â Sento corrects, jabbing the wrench in Kazumiâs direction. âGenius Physicist.â
Banjou winces, laying a hand over his heart. âOuch, that hurt, Sento.â
âWhat am I?â Kazumi asks with a frown. âChopped liver?â
Banjou glances at him. âYes.â He says seriously and Kazumi scowls at him.
âStop bickering.â Sento tells them before he turns around with a bored expression. âWhat are you even arguing over? Does it really matter?â
âOf course it matters,â Banjou says with a scowl, jabbing a finger in Kazumiâs direction. âHe wants to be a fucking snake and woo Misora just to piss me off, and then rub it in my face if I lose.â
Kazumi just snorts. âYouâre just sleeping together.â He says.
Banjou practically bristles at his words. âNot the fucking point!â
Sento looks between them, several emotions flashing across his face in half a second. âThen⊠what is the point?â He asks and both Banjou and Kazumi groan in frustration at him. Sento blinks a few times and holds his hands up in surrender. âIâm sorry, am I missing something here?â He asks as he looks between them.
Kazumi lays his hand over his heart and looks dramatically off into the distance, Banjou groans and smacks his forehead while Sento stares at him. âYou see, Sento!â Kazumi declares loudly as Banjou starts to mimicking him patronizingly. âMy soul fire is burning passionately for Misora!â
Banjou rolls his eyes. âYou keep saying thatâWhat does that even fucking mean?!â He cries in frustration.
Kazumi gives Banjou a look that one would give to a small child who didnât understand and pats his head. âOh, Banjou,â He says with a wistful sigh. âIt means that Iâm love with Misora.â
âYou canât be in love with Misora because Iâm in love with Misora!â Banjou yells, gesturing vigorously to himself, unable to stop the words before they fall from his lips.
The room lapses into uncomfortable silence and while Banjou looks like someone just died in front of him, Kazumi grins on brightly, seemingly pleased with Banjouâs revelation as Sento looks on, unamused.
âBanjouâŠâ A familiar female voice comes and Banjouâs blood runs cold. âYou love me?â Slowly, he turns to meet Misoraâs surprised gaze and stays stock still as she approaches him slowly, taking his hands in her own. âDo you mean it?â She asks.
Banjou swallows hard, his heart thundering loudly in his chest. âYes.â He says, and heâs more sure than heâs felt in a while. âI do mean it. I love you, Misora. So, do me a favor and become my girlfriend.â
Misora laughs at his bluntness but leans up to press her forehead against his. âItâs about time, you idiot.â She says with a small smile. âIâve been in love with you for months. It took you long enough.â
Kazumi throws his hands into the air and looks up the ceiling. âFucking finally!â He exclaims. Misora peers at him curiously while Banjou frowns. âItâs about fucking time!â
Sento looks between the four of them, thoroughly confused. âCan someone please explain whatâs going on?â
âIâm sorry,â Banjou says, staring defiantly at Kazumi. âWhat the fuck?â
âThe entire reason Iâve been pissing you off for the last two weeks is so that youâd confess to Misora.â Kazumi says with a roll of his eyes. âI figured getting you angry was the quickest way to get you to blurt it out to her, or in front of her. And, hey, it worked.â
Banjou blinks at him. âBut I thoughtâŠâ He begins, trailing off into silence as Kazumi laughs.
âI do like Misora,â Kazumi says with a grin. âBut you were idiotic enough to believe that youâd stand a chance if I was trying to woo her. Either way, it worked, so now you two can get back to doingâŠâ He looks between them. âWell, each other I guess.â Banjou splutters as Misora flushes red, giving Kazumi a half-hearted scowl as he smirks between them both and claps Banjou on the back.
âHey,â Banjou says suddenly and Kazumi looks up at him. âThanks.â
Kazumi smiles at him and pats his shoulder. âNo problem.â He says. âAnd, for the record, I like you too Banjou."
Misora giggles into her hand as Banjou blinks blankly at him. âWhen was that ever on the table?â He asks breathlessly and Misora grins.
âIt could be,â She says, and his eyes snap to hers as she smiles up at him. âWhat do you say? I donât mind sharing if you donât either.â
For a moment, the words swirl around his head, not registering until they click into place like the final piece of an intricate puzzle. Banjouâs eyes widen as he looks between Kazumi and Misora, a smile starting to curve his lips.
Oh.
Oh, he thinks. This may just be something very great.
#kamen rider build#kamen rider fic#kamen rider#misora isurugi#Isurugi Misora#Banjou Ryuuga#ryuuga banjou#kazumi sawatari#sawatari kazumi#banjou/misora#banjou/kazumi#banjou/misora/kazumi#sfw#polyamory#pre-poly#love confessions
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Book Review: The Crownâs Game
Spoilers ahead!
Rating: 1 star out of 5
I'd been contemplating reading Circle of Shadows, the newest Evelyn Skye novel, but I wanted to test the waters by reading another of her books first. I found The Crown's Game on sale in the NOOK store for $1.99, so I snapped it up. In a way, I'm glad I did, because reading The Crown's Game ultimately prevented me from wasting considerably more money on Circle of Shadows.
I could use the phrase âdumpster fireâ to describe this book, but that's really not fitting: Dumpster fires at least entail vaguely interesting events. The Crownâs Game is easily one of the dullest books Iâve ever read - even duller than any novel in the Twilight series. Itâs no compliment to say that Stephanie Meyer did a better job world-building. Evelyn Skye exerted such negligible effort on world-building that her tale barely squeaks into the historical fantasy genre, giving more of the feel of historical fanfiction with magic tossed in for shits and giggles. The magic originates from some spring or fountain or some bullshit that apparently pays attention to arbitrary geopolitical boundaries and nationality. And excluding faith healers and a couple of magical creatures, the latter of whom are only mentioned in passing, there are only four known characters in Russia with the magic, and two of them monopolize most of it. Since both competitors possess gargantuan supplies of the magic, the result is a pair of stupidly overly-powerful heroes.
Skye is just as bad at inventing plots as she is at world-building. Expect no real action or intrigue from Crownâs Game. The game itself is nothing more than an unstructured magical pissing contest, and Skye fails to leave enough to the imagination to keep readers hooked. Thereâs no nefarious plot running beneath the surface, thereâs no tension or suspense; itâs just a fight for who gets to be the tsarâs chief suck-up and who gets to die, and the two competitors falling in love.
The characters are breathtakingly boring. If you played the Wii Fit obstacle course game, you probably remember what a pain in the ass it was to avoid those logs, lest your Mii be comically flattened. Clearly The Crownâs Gameâs characters played this game and lost spectacularly, because damn, are they dimensionally challenged. Though itâs not Vikaâs fault that Pasha worshipfully describes her in a manner that is utterly vomit-inducing, it is Vikaâs fault for failing to demonstrate that she is anything more than an insipid, gorgeous magical girl anime reject. She has pretty red hair with a black streak in it and can generate an entire island with her mind. She misses her dad. Sheâs pretty. Sheâs powerful. Did I mention sheâs pretty? The way Vika blathers on about how attractive Nikolai is implies that sheâs never seen a boy before (even though thatâs probably not true). Spare me the agony.
Scarcely surpassing the sentience of a doorknob, Nikolai might as well have been a giant Russian Ken doll. His thoughts mostly consist of dreamily imagining banging Vika, hawing over not wanting to kill her, and attempting to concoct a contest-winning plan. When a woman in a semi-zombified state shows up out of the blue - alleging to be his mother, no less - Nikolai is relatively unperturbed. His strongest reaction is his revulsion over how dreadful Aizhana smells. Come on. Even if you live in a world steeped in magic, if a shambling, malodorous corpse lady appears and claims to be your dead mommy, you should shit yourself, at least a little bit. If all you can do is complain about is the foul stench, you desperately need help. When he walks into the Enchanted Hollow, a goddam cave, his thought is, âSo this is why itâs called the Enchanted Hollow.â Youâre a little slow on the uptake, pal. Reading this particular line evokes thoughts of that iCarly scene where Kurt, the cute but dumb (fired) intern, rides the elevator and then breathes in awe, âThis is an elevator.â And really, that captures Nikolaiâs essence - the hot but moronic guy who should be fired before he ruins the world. I half-expected him to pop into a scene with a plastic bag of lemonade.
Pasha isnât much better. Like Nikolai, he too obsesses over Vika to a degree that seriously annoyed me, as a reader stuck in his head. (What I can say is that Pasha, as nauseatingly pesky as his crush-related thoughts are, isnât a complete creep. For instance, he refrains from kissing Vika while she is asleep because he does not want to disrespect/violate her.) Unlike Nikolai, however, he exhibits some intellectual curiosity and later undergoes a considerable personality change; unfortunately, this shift is such an about-face that its effect comes off less as character development and more as a rancorous temper tantrum.
Thereâs little to say for the remaining characters. Renata merely serves to upgrade the love triangle to a love web. Ludmila is Vikaâs plump, middle-aged sidekick, who effectively fills the role of a lame-ass Molly Weasley: a source of tasty baked goodies and motherly love, minus the tough fierceness that makes Molly so endearing. Pashaâs sister, Yuliana, functions as the impetus behind the Crownâs Game, urging her father to commence the contest, but Tsar Alexander is such an unpleasant dickbag that no other scapegoat for starting the game is truly required, rendering Yuliana obsolete. At virtually every given opportunity, he goes out of his way to be rude, condescending, or snappish. During his spiel about the rules of the game, Vika interrupts him as respectfully as possible to inquire about why one Enchanter must die at the end of the game, and Alexander acts as if sheâs expressed the desire to hit him in the testicles repeatedly with a large stick. He canât even muster the patience or sympathy to answer a valid question posed by a competitor - a teenager, mind you - in a fatal contest to be the tsarâs magical toady. When Vika arrives at the ball in her fabulous dress, the tsar snidely remarks that she should âtake care not to become too enamored of the tsarevichâ because âit will require more than a showy gown to be worthy.â Damn it, dude, she just told you that she fashioned her clothes herself. Would it kill you to just toss out some platitude or another? Honestly, I pity Tsarina Elizabeth - she deserves so much better than Alexander. Sergeiâs role is just being Vikaâs mentor/father figure and an eventual sacrifice; Sergeiâs bitchy sister, Galina, is a fucking psychopath who forces Nikolai to kill animals that she put in his bedroom and doesnât miss a chance to remind him of his âlow birthâ. And if youâre holding out for a decent villain, donât bother: Despite being one of the more interesting characters, Aizhana is just a vengeful zombie who boasts a typhus-riddled black tongue (I kid you not), long fingernails, and a festering grudge. Thatâs pretty much it.
And just what the fuck is this sentence structure?! The writing is clunky, awkward, and the cause of many an eye-roll. For example: âNikolai shook his head at the beauty of Bolshebnoie Duplo.â This is an actual sentence in a published book not written for fourth-graders. This is an actual sentence in a published book that is presumably not written by a fourth-grader. I have read and enjoyed books with similar writing flaws, but the other elements of the book compensated for them. Obviously, nothing in The Crown's Game does.
This clumsy delivery pervades the romance of the book too. In yet another nightmare sentence, Pasha gushes about this gorgeous girl (Vika), whom he spotted from a distance the other day:
âShe has red hair, like the most hypnotizing part of a flickering flame, and her voice is both melodic and unflinching.â
Ew, gross, no, stop. Youâre embarrassing yourself, Pasha. You heard her speak but three sentences from a distance and now you can describe her voice like that? Not only does this further paint Vika as a Mary Sue, but it also just makes Pasha look like a pompous ass. This sort of florid diction is typically reserved for Lord Byronâs poetry. And then, when Pasha hops back on the boat back to St. Petersburg, Skye writes, âHe murmured, âVika,â to himself, more than once.â Oh. My. God. By this point, I can safely say that Pasha acts like Ron Weasley under the influence of Romilda Vaneâs love potion. J.K. Rowling at least had the courtesy to cure Ron of his sorry state by within the chapter; Skyeâs characters, on the other hand, continue this behavior throughout Crownâs Game. I canât pick on just Pasha, not when Vika serves up internal monologues like this one:
âIt was as if the attempts to kill her faded into the background, and now she saw the truth at the core of it all: Nikolaiâs magic was gorgeous and powerful and... and... Her lungs faltered. Even the mere memory of his magic was so strong. And touching Nikolai, even through her gloves and his sleeve, was like being pummeled by a stampede of wild horses. No, wild unicorns. Beautiful, wild unicorns.â
Heâs the other enchanter, and sheâs just now figured out that heâs powerful? Also, does she want to fuck him or his magic? If you think Nikolai contributes nothing to this travesty of romance, youâre quite wrong:
âHe had thought, during the mazurka, that theyâd had something. Their touch had both frenzied and frozen the ballroom. Their breathing had synchronized, heatedly.â
I could find more examples but I really donât want to, since I prefer not vomiting.
Skye spends so much time on saccharine pseudo-poetry that she skimps on meaningful interactions between characters, particularly those involved in the two pairings we the readers are supposed to choose between. One carriage ride and a ballroom dance with Vika, whom heâs only known for a couple of weeks, and he thinks heâs so in love with her that when he discovers Nikolai's identity as the second enchanter and that Nikolai is "in love" with Vika too, he feels betrayed enough to pit the two of them - his best friend and the girl he supposedly loves - against each other in a battle to the death. Nikolai and Vika's encounters consist of either one attempting to murder the other, often with a crowd of bystanders within view, or gazing longingly into each other's eyes. Although Vika does have a sweet mother-daughter scene with Ludmila, and Sergei and Galina seem to reach some kind of reconciliation before the former dies, character-to-character interactions are generally superficial and unanimated.
In the end, whether you subject yourself to the agony of reading this book is up to you. Personally, I think it might be less time-consuming to purchase a bottle of high fructose corn syrup from the grocery store, go home, and drink the entire fucker in one sitting. You'd get the same bland, over-sweet experience from whichever one you choose. As for me, I won't be reading another book of Evelyn Skye's. I've had enough literary corn syrup to last me a lifetime.
You can also read this review on my website: <https://thebookishhawk.home.blog/2019/02/25/the-crowns-game-book-review/>.
#book reviews#bookworm#books#i read books#reading this book was a testament to my masochism#spare yourself#did not like#evelyn skye#the crown's game#young adult books#fantasy books#vika andreyeva#nikolai karimov#yuck#spoilers#1 star
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The Miys, Ch. 63
Happy Tuesday, and Happy November Everyone!
This week I hit 467Â followers, so thank you to everyone who is following this story (except the porn bots, yâall can go porn yourselves).
A special shout out to everyone who interacts: sending me messages, commenting, reblogging, and liking the chapters as they post. Every week, this story goes up at 2pm Eastern Time, and by 2:30pm I always have 15-20 notes. You are the ones who keep me going when I start to struggle or get discouraged.
When Antoine eventually woke up and stood to stretch â I scowled at the freedom I was explicitly not given â Grey staggered over to the still-warm berth and collapsed into a heap of rambling nonsense. Â Antoine eyebrows shot up in curiosity as he tried to pat his hair down, glancing at me and my sister for answers.
We both shrugged, with Tyche clarifying âWe were talking about food, then Grey shot off after a comment about a cast iron stomach and hasnât said a single logical thing since then.â
With a Gallic shrug, he replied âIt is what it is. Why were you talking about metal stomachs?â
âPhaal curry from Sophâs kitchen, balut, and other weird foods my sister has tried.â
âAh. That would do it.â He tossed his version of a cheeky grin at me before leaning toward my sister.
Before his face could get anywhere in her vicinity, she shoved him playfully. âYou stink. Go take a shower.â Â Without pressing the matter, he winked â actually winked â and sauntered toward the door, more relaxed than I had ever seen him.
All I could do was blink at the display. âIs he always like this when he wakes up?â
She nodded, unperturbed. âHe doesnât have his professional face on yet.â
Huh. âI had no idea.â
A sudden silence fell on the room, the lack of snoring indicating that the other two occupants of the room were awake. âThis is not what I imagined a grown-up sleepover to turn out like,â Maverick groaned while scowling at the tube in his arm. âThere was a lot less blood, for one thing. Â And more pizza. Â Definitely more pizza.â
I smiled fondly at him and glanced on his other side, where Conor was doing his best impression of a grizzly bear just woken involuntarily from hibernation: stretch, grunt, scratch beard, stomp, kiss Maverick, stomp, grunt, kiss me, stomp to find hot water. Â It was a routine thing, and actually calming in the present circumstances.
Tyche, however, stared after him with an expression like a cat who just had water flicked in her face. âWow. Grouchy much?â
âNot a morning person,â Maverick yawned. Â It only then occurred to me that this was the first time either had seen the otherâs partner/partners first thing in the morning.
âBut the stomping? Thatâs unnecessary.â
âTyche, he is over two-hundred pounds. Heâs going to stomp by default when he isnât being careful. Maverick stomps, too. Thatâs why he didnât get up.â
âAnd the blood,â he pointed out, scowling down again.
âOkay, yeah, and the blood. Donât feel bad, love. Me, too. ConstantlyâŠ.â  It was true, too.  Noah had given up on removing the equipment from my arms and just transfused me as needed.  Hence why I wasnât allowed to get up and stretch.
I wasnât even going to think about how they were keeping me from needing to use to bathroom. Â It was apparently need to know, and I Did. Not. Need. To. Know. Thank. You.
Tyche, the only one who could get up and walk around at will, checked over the most recent scans. âWell, the good news is that it looks like youâve stabilized, Soph. Maverick, youâll be out of the danger zone for a bit after that round, and we can talk to Miys about taking the needles out. Conor and Antoine are going to need to be hooked up today, though.â
âWhat about you?â
âIâm still okay for the time being, if Iâm reading this right.â She tipped her head up toward the ceiling, a habit that exactly none of us had ever gotten out of. âMiys, can you confirm the results Iâm seeing, make sure I read them correctly?â
âYou are correct, Tyche. And as I am sure Wisdom will ask the same question she has asked every Terran hour she has been conscious, Derek, Zach, and Sam are doing well, as are Charly, Coffey, Sebastian, and everyone else. Nixe has deteriorated no further.â
I sighed. It was the best I could have hoped for, realistically.
âWhat exactly happened to the mermaid?â Maverick asked. Â He had been fascinated with her ever since I bet Alistair swimming lessons with her. âWhy is she in worse shape than everyone else?â
Considering almost the whole ship was being transfused with whole blood as fast as Miys could produce it, it wasnât a huge margin. âShe actually isnât in bad shape as a direct result of whatever âElseâ is doing to us. But it did make her weaker than usual, and she was in the middle of a diving session when her nanotech failedâŠâ
When I suddenly paled and went silent, Maverick reached out with his good hand and shook me, but I blocked it out. Â I felt like I had been struck by a bolt of lightning and set on fire at the same time. Â Her nanotech tail failed.
âCast-iron stomach and the tail failed,too.â I announced, whipping my head toward my sister.
She looked horrified. âOh gods, now youâre barmy, too.â
Rolling my eyes, I grabbed her forearm. âNo, Tyche. We said I have a âcast-ironâ stomach. Thatâs what set Grey off, not the illness. Whatever bacteria or virus or whatever is making us sick is taking up all the nutritive iron in our bodies, right?â Â The door hissed as Antoine walked in, drying his hair, followed by Noah. âAnd they said nutritive iron does have actual elemental iron in the molecules, or whatever. And the tail failed, too. They werenât talking out of their head â Grey meant Nixeâs nanotech tail!â
Antoine stopped dead in his tracks, towel forgotten. âSophia, what are you talking about?â Â I repeated everything I had just told Tyche and Maverick. âWhat else did Grey say before I woke up?â
âSomething about segregating them for no reason, pyronasal RNA, evil instead of dexterous, bacteria is bacteria?â
âPyranosyl,â he corrected absentminded, eyes focusing on something the rest of us couldnât see. âSinister instead of dexter, so our bodies would not see it as a pathogen. No immune response.â
Tyche threw her hands up in exasperation. âGreat. Crazy is contagious. Itâs killing us, of course itâs sinister.â
âSinister instead of dexter,â I told her emphatically, nodding my head for emphasis.
Her eyes widened. âLeft instead of right?â
âOh! I know this one!â Maverick sat up, giddy despite the situation. âRNA is single-helix instead of double-helix like DNA, right?â Miys ânoddedâ with one liw, so he continued. âI think heâs saying that DNA and RNA usually have a right-handed twist, but this stuff has RNA with a left-handed twist?â Another ânodâ. He grinned with excitement before his face fell practically off his skull. âThatâs why weâre malnourished instead of sick,â he whispered. âOur bodies arenât even trying to fight it off, are they?â
Okay, fuck it. Despite Tycheâs attempts to stop me, I unhooked the transfusion equipment, dotting the floor with red as I made my way over to Maverickâs berth to hold him. âAre we going to die?â he asked in the smallest voice imaginable.
âNot if we can help it,â I promised. âWeâre tough stuff, remember? The end of the world didnât kill us. Weâll figure this out. Right?â I turned toward Antoine hopefully.
His eyes widened slightly, but he nodded. âI believe that Grey started to make a connection with something. You said they said we should not segregate the two, correct?â I nodded tentatively. âWhat are we thinking of as separate from this situation?â
âNutritive iron and elemental iron?â I asked hopefully.
Tyche jumped out of her seat just as Conor entered. Â He startled, sloshing coffee on his shirt and groaning. Ignoring him, she started snapping her fingers. âElse is absorbing all the iron from our bodies, so we sorta know what that part means. The elemental iron must mean the diving platforms.â
Crash! We all turned toward Conor, who stood gaping at us, coffee cup shattered at his feet. âThat is whatâs in our bodies?â
âConor â â
âNo, Sophie. You didnât see what it did to those platforms. Four tons of metal, reduced to twisted and flaking wrecks. Â We would be falling apart like lepers if that was in us.â
I felt Maverick shake his head just as I saw Antoine to the same thing. âThere is not enough iron in a human body to cause that level of catastrophic failure â â
âOh yeah? Tell that to the fucking mermaid on life support!â
In an instant, Tyche interposed herself between her partner and mine. One hand struck Conorâs chest flatly, the other pointing a finger like it was loaded. âShe almost drowned. Yes, it was because she was weak and the iron in her tail caused it to fail and give her even more dead weight. Â But if she had passed out on land, she would be fine. Â Right now, your boyfriend is scared to death, your girlfriend â my sister â is bleeding everywhere trying to comfort him instead of taking care of herself, and Antoine is trying to figure this out even though he is not a doctor. Â So, stop. Fucking. Yelling.â Â With a huff, she shoved both hands through her hair. Â âEveryone, calm down for five damn minutes.â With a glance at the ceiling, she pitched her voice slightly. âMiys, can you test everyone in this room for any bacteria matching those found in BioLab 2 recently?â
âCouncilor Hodenson already requested this test run, to be given the results when they wake.â
âGive them to me now, please?â she asked tiredly, at the limits of her manners and pushing further.
âAll scans requested show the bacteria to be present.â
Oh. Fuck.
But my sister was on a roll. âOkay, so we already knew we were all suffering from the same thing. Â Good news? Itâs not cancer, itâs not radiation sickness, or some other thing that will definitely kill us, right?â
âCancer would not kill you,â Miys pointed out, falling on deaf ears.
âBut this isnât a Terran bacteria,â Conor ground out from where he was crouched on the floor picking up what was left of his coffee mug. âHow are we supposed to get rid of it if we canât even fight it off?â
A quiet, exhausted voice drifted from the collapsed heap of person in the farthest berth. âMaybe we can just ask nicely.â
For what felt like an eternity, all we could hear were the air scrubbers as we all gaped at the half-conscious Grey.
âYou have to be kidding.â Heads snapped toward me, and only then did I realize I was the one who spoke. Swallowing nervously, I soldiered on. âYou want us to cure a plague by asking nicely?â
A pale hand popped up from the berth, gesturing dismissively. I didnât even know Grey knew that gesture. âYou talk to it, it talks to you. So, talk. Ask. You people for a living. Go people.â
âWhen did they learn Reid-ish?â Conor whispered in horror.
Antoine, equally appalled, turned wide eyes toward his not-quite attacker. âI have no idea, mon ami. I have no idea.â
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#the Miys#aliens#science fiction#humans are weird#humans are space orcs#original writing#original sci fi#blood#tw blood#tw hospital#apocalypse#plague
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The Miys, Ch. 55
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
Things have been out of whack in the real world for a bit, so I know Iâve gotten behind on things like updating the Master List for this story, and especially behind on posting it to Wattpad. My goal for this week is to have all that sorted out by Friday, so keep your eyes open.
Parts of this chapter were inspired by a conversation I had with @baelpenrose. Itâs always surprising what things in my life inspire parts of this story, especially the people.
Content warning: Someone yelling and throwing things. Itâs a temper tantrum, and no one gets hurt, but just in case, I wanted to give a headâs up.
âDamn it all to HELL!â
I stopped in the middle of what I was telling my sister as we both whipped our heads toward the shout, which was quickly followed by a crash. We glanced back at each other, her wide-eyed expression a mirror of what I imagined my own face looked like.
That shout came from my quarters, with a suspiciously heavy Irish accent.
We dashed to my door, stopping to peer around the corner as slowly as possible. I wasnât sure about Tyche, but I had seen Conor angry before. Â It was rare, and it took a lot, but when it happened, it happened in a big way. Â This time, even I was surprised by the sheer magnitude; as we watched, he shouted and threw things, subconsciously careful to avoid hitting any terrariums or people. Â Even so, Zach Khan was dodging to hide behind whatever piece of furniture he could impose between himself and my enraged partner.
Taking a deep breath, I stood tall and squared my shoulders, gently pushing down my sisterâs arm when she tried to stop me from confronting Conor. Â Firmly, I knocked on the threshold of the wide-open entrance before striding in with more confidence than I currently felt. Â âYou could at least close the door,â I suggested airily, trying to get his attention.
As I hoped, he whirled around to face me, disheveled hair falling in his face. âSophie,â he started trying to explain. âYou could have gotten hurt.â
âHello to you, too, sweetie,â I smiled before stretching on my tiptoes as he automatically leaned down to let me kiss his cheek. Â âI waited until you were on the other side of the room, facing away. Â But that doesnât explain why youâre currently scaring Zach and Tyche.â
All anger gone at this point, he stepped around me and toward my sister. Â He crouched and softened his voice like he was coaxing a scared kitten, which I reminded myself firmly not to laugh at. âOh gods, Tych, love, Iâm so sorry. Â I didnât hit you with anything, did I?â He whirled to face me, all color drained from his face. âPlease tell me I didnât hit you with anything?â he begged, hitting his knees.
âZach, you can come out now. Itâs over,â I called softly to the sofa, before walking over, wrapping my arms around Conor, and assure him I was fine. Really, all he had done was make a mess. âMaybe take up boxing,â I suggested softly, brushing his hair back out of his face. âItâs a much healthier outlet for your frustration.â
Tyche came in the room, tentatively at first, then more confident when she saw Conorâs face buried in my stomach. Â She started to pick up debris from the floor, but was interrupted. âPut it down, woman,â the muffled admonishment came from my abdomen. âI made the mess, my job to clean it up. Â Thatâs the rule.â
She sputtered in exasperation. âThen what can I do!? Â This place is a mess, and my anxiety says to clean or do something to fix it,â she scolded at my back.
âHow about some coffee,â I suggested with a chuckle, patting Conor on the shoulder in indication that he should get started with cleanup.
Once everyone got settled â including Zach with a cocoa, seeing as he was practically vibrating with anxiety â and Conor went about restoring order to our living space and apologizing to the plants, I asked, âAre you going to blow up again if I ask what you were so angry about?â
Conor dropped his hands to his side and tilted his head back to face the ceiling. âNo, I wonât. And it was Huynh.â
Tyche growled ferociously before elbowing me. Oh.
That was me growling, not her.
He continued blithely. âThe diving platforms are showing signs of rust damage.â Frustration was showing in his tone, but not anger. So far, so good. âSince I was head of the project, he is coming down on me hard. Trying to say I cut corners, didnât coat everything properly, used the wrong materials, basically just bollocked the whole thing.â
âBut you were the one who ordered one of the platforms taken out entirely because it was too close to the line for specâŠâ
âHey,â he pointed at me firmly. âThat thing would have been clearly out of spec if the temperature varied more than about twenty degrees.â
âItâs climate controlled, and thatâs my point. You literally went with âbetter safe than sorryâ the entire time, and he got mad at you for wasting materials to meet the guidelines.â
âThatâs my point!â he cried in frustration, flinging his arms wide and falling to his back with a thud that made me wince. âAnd now, heâs reversed course and accusing me of shoddy workmanship. I canât win! Â Even though Mav signed off that everything was dead level, on the nose within tolerance.â
âWait,â Zach interjected, wrinkling his nose. âWhy would Maverick sign off on that? Heâs a pilot. That doesnât make sense.â
Tyche snickered. âHeâs a pilot when we need a pilot. Which is nearly never, so heâs more like an insurance policy there â better to have and not need than need and not have. Â No, heâs quality control for any equipment in the research labs.â
âThatâs just⊠what? Not tracking.â  Poor Zach looked like he was getting a headache.  I dropped another marshmallow in his cocoa, and he looked like I had answered his prayers. Ah, yes. Marshmallow makes sense in this crazy world.
âHe has an insane eye for detail and is a completely arse about precision,â Conorâs tone was so fond it barely escaped being considered cooing. Â He shook his head and glowered at the boot wedged under a piece of furniture. âHuynh is calling that nepotism, by the way.â
âBut heâs even worse here!â I cried. Â Tyche nodded vigorously, having been subjected to a two-hour rant when she put away a fork the wrong way. Â Not in the wrong drawer, the wrong direction.
Maverick was permanently in charge of setting the table for every meal. Â It was the only way to avoid killing him outright.
âOkayâŠâ Zach trailed off, pinching his nose and vigorously wiggling his mug to beg for more chocolate salvation. âBut the platforms are still rusting?â
âAll three,â Conor confirmed. Â âTheyâve warped badly enough that we had to declare them unsafe until we can figure out the issue.â
âWait. They rusted that badly in four months?â Tyche looked so confused it made my face hurt in sympathy. Â âHow is that even possible? Even if you didnât take any measures to prevent rust, it shouldnât be that advanced.â
âGrey is trying to figure that out. Itâs also why Mav is stuck at work and not here for dinner.â
As much as I wanted to laugh at the â very manly â pout I was witnessing, I was also frustrated by the interruption in our routine. Â Shaking my head, I tried to steer the conversation away from our errant pilot. âIs there a possibility that one of the labâs experiments could have caused the issues?â
Conor shook his head before surveying the area for any more storm damage. âIf that was the case, it would be so corrosive everything in the habitat would have died, and all the swimmers would be burned. Â We would have known almost instantly.â He raked a hand through his hair, turning to face us. âBut if anyone can figure it out, itâs Grey.â
âWhat I donât understand,â Tyche ventured, âis that the materials were fabricated here on the Ark, right? Â The facilities are obviously more advanced than anything we could have managed before.â She waved her hand at the ceiling for emphasis. âSo, how could there be any flaws in the materials themselves?â
âThe program still has to be written,â Zach groaned as he leaned forward. âYouâre right about the system being more advanced, but that also means itâs incredibly finicky and precise. One character out of place, and everything used could be worthless. And before you ask,â he held up both hands defensively, âI personally checked the programming against what it should have been, and there are exactly zero errors. Itâs literally the cleanest bit of programming Iâve ever seen.â
Conor nodded, heading to the kitchen for his own coffee. âAnd before anyone asks, weâve had the calculations checked over by six different people, plus our mate Noah. Â Calculations are accurate, they were programmed in accurately, and Greyâs people have tested to make sure the output is accurate. Â Mav has already measured the samples with everything he could get his hands on, and they all show the amount of precision you would expect from an advanced civilization. Â No fault to be found in the materials, whatsoever, which is where I come in.â
âUgh. Huynh needs someone to blame, and since the materials are as perfect as you could ever dream of, heâs putting the fault in the construction?â I may have had my moments of grudging respect, but I never quite managed to like the bastard. Here he was, proving me right.
âWhich puts me on furlough until they figure out what the cause is, yeah.â He huffed explosively and flopped down into the seat my sister vacated for him. âAt least I can still work in the hydroponics lab.â
âNo offense to you, Zach, but have you considered having Derek cross check the program?â
âNone taken, and yes,â he sighed. âBut heâs been holed up in his quarters for two weeks now, wonât talk to anyone. Â I sent him several requests, but never got a response.â
Alarmed, I started to say something, but Tyche cut me off. âI already checked with Noah, and Derekâs okay. Â Not sleeping well, but otherwise his physical health is fine.â
I stood anyway, frowning. âThatâs good to hear, and I know he goes through periods where he canât be around people, but two weeks? Â Itâs not like him.â Â Snatching up my purple fuzzy blanket, I headed to the door. âMac in your quarters?â
âYeah, but Soph â â
âNope. Â Iâm taking him the blanket and the cat. Â If he wants to talk, heâll talk, but at least this way I can see him with my own eyes. I wonât be long, I promise. Â Zach, feel free to stay for dinner. Â Weâre doing pizza tonight.â Â With that, I took off, focused on my mission.
It only took me about fifteen minutes to collect my furry co-conspirator and make it to Derekâs quarters. âHey,â I called softly, praying he still had the outer microphone on. âI heard youâve been taking some alone time, so I thought I would bring you the blanket and your buddy. Â No clue how you managed two weeks without him, but Mac misses you â â
The door slid open, revealing a piled of blankets with a surly, squinting face poking out. The door is keyed to let him in, Derek said impatiently before stepping aside to let me in.
As soon as the door closed behind me, the blanket monster stomped past and dropped on the bed. Â I was relieved that nothing about the room immediately screamed for help. Â Low lights, white noise in the background, and about as tidy as I could expect from a seventeen-year-old. Â Two arms thrust themselves from the heap of fabric on the bed, hands grasping in a gesture that needed no working knowledge of sign language to understand. Â Obediently, I handed over the soft purple offering in my hands. Â Meanwhile, Mac dropped gracefully next to Derek with a demanding yowl.
âHe likes to be invited,â I explained gently. Â It was taking every ounce of willpower â and some I was pretty sure I didnât possess â to keep myself from interrogating him on the length of his isolation. Â Instead, I watched him rub my blanket against his face with one hand while the other tugged the large black cat onto his lap and started stroking it. Â Despite token resistance, Mac quickly settled in for what was likely long-overdue and well-deserved attention.
I waited a few seconds, in case Derek wanted to talk, then cleared my throat. âWell⊠let me know if you need me to bring you anything else, okay?  And remember, cheese will make Mac sick, no matter how much he likes it.â  Quietly, I left with clenched teeth and eyes burning from tears I refused to shed.  I was trying to break my habit of smothering people, but it was hard.  Logically, I knew Derek could take care of himself â superficially, he had been doing fine.  But the fact that every blanket he seemed to own was layered over him, even just to answer the door?  He needed comfort, clearly.  Being incredibly touch-averse, I had to restrain my urge to hug him and let Mac and the blankets do the work.
Halfway back to my quarters, my databand chirped. Â With a flick, I displayed the screen to see a message from him. âNot sleeping well. Nightmares. Â They make me jumpy. Â Mac will help.â
The corner of my mouth quirked up, despite my heart wanting to break. âHeâs good for that,â I replied. âHe eats nightmares, I think.â
âIâm not a child, I donât need silly stories.â
I scoffed. âI know that. Iâm being serious. Â I never have nightmares when heâs around, and he always makes that face like he just ate when I wake up. Either heâs figured out how to work a console or he eats bad dreams.â
âIâll lock down my console and let you know.â
With a deep breath, I told myself Derek would be okay and strolled back into my quarters. Â Zach, Tyche, and Conor were in the kitchen, laughing and working on getting the pizza dough going. Â It panged my heart not to see Maverick, but a part of me hoped that he would still manage to make it home in time to eat with us.
Iâll make an anchovy pizza, just in case, I told myself.
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#the miys#humans are weird#relationships#science fiction#original writing#humans are space orcs#earth is space australia#aliens#apocalypse#scifi#sci fi#original sci fi
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