#i love how nothing else happened in this scene they were just like. oswald plays piano btw. look at how gorgeous he is. alright bye

[autism-connoisseur]

he looks straight up angelic

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Trouble ~ J.V.

A/n: I see my Jerome peeps are HERE and I’m LOVING IT! Prompt list here so y’all don’t have to scroll ;) Feel free to request as many as you want for commission or when requests are open again. I LOVE using prompts!!

Request: “...6, 8 with Jerome Valeska” by anon

6: “You are actually Satan, oh my god.”

8: “Wow, I am so in love with you… just wow.”

MASTERLIST

You know how you see someone, and it’s so obvious where they’ll end up that it’s like a scene in your head? It’s never good when this happens, so usually it’s a sad story and you kind of just frown and shake your head and pity the person, but you know that saying anything won’t do you any good so you just sit back and keep your mouth shut and wait for the inevitable end.

That’s how everyone saw Jerome Valeska.

People had never cared about Jerome, though. If they ever had, it was wiped away pretty quickly. Brutally murdering people with no care for who was on what side, who had helped or hurt, or without even a little remorse or pity or hesitation or regret... it was one of those things that most people found to be a bit of a turn off. Those who didn’t were seen to be just as unhinged as Jerome was, so they were dismissed as well.

The thing was, people HAD cared about Y/n. She was one of the most intellectually promising in her entire high school, maybe in all of Gotham. She was the kind of teenager that seemed so very adult. She was respectful and poised and very well controlled. She was pleasant to be around, and even much older people didn’t mind talking to her if they happened to be in the same place. She’d even made some pleasant relationships.

Like the friendship she had with Bruce Wayne.

Through him, she had come to learn about and meet and even get along with everyone Bruce knew. She could get along with anybody she wanted to, without threats or intimidation or groveling. She simply existed, and she had a sort of comforting, approachable presence about her. She wasn’t the least bit threatening, but she was... nice, I guess. Even dangerous people liked her, because she was the only person who didn’t seem to care about power or advantageous interactions or anything like that.

She was just nice to talk to.

This showed most prominently when she talked to people like Edward Nigma, or Oswald Cobblepott, or Silena Kyle. She’d even found herself in situations to talk to Barbara Gordan. Victor Zsasz.

People usually chalked it up to her being quite unlucky.

Because she was so unsuspecting and unproblematic and calm, she turned out to be a really good hostage. She didn’t talk back or lash out, she just sat and behaved and looked at you with a very calm, calculated expression.

Zsasz had run into her when he’d worked for Penguin and had been guarding her so that Oswald could make a deal without worrying about his bargaining chip being compromised. After a while, Y/n had asked how Zsasz’s day was going. They’d had a short, pleasant conversation, leaving the assassin intrigued by the girl when she’d been let go.

Barbara had a similar experience, except it had been when she was in Arkham of all places. Everyone had a weird thing, and very few if any people knew Y/n’s, but even she had one too. Her weird thing was visiting Arkham Asylum every once in a while visiting random people inside it, and then talking to them with the most easy normality. Like they’d been life long friends, or the person she was talking to was completely sane. She never judged or snapped, she just had a neutral expression with a sort of interest in her eyes. She was polite enough that Barbara had entertained the visit, and found herself not totally regretting it afterward.

Oswald had met her when he was mayor. She had dropped by as an errand for Jim Gordon, and had started a casual conversation when Oswald had expected her to leave when thing were handled. At first he’d been suspicious, and he still was if he was honest, but she hadn’t asked any prying questions or tried to get at him from any angle. If he drew a line, she respected it immediately and moved onto something else without missing a beat. When he got uncomfortable, she apologized and wished him a good day before excusing herself. After she’d show up several more times, sometimes sent by Jim, sometimes just to say hello, Oswald eventually relaxed. He didn’t trust her, and she didn’t expect him to, but when she stopped by to say hello he’d have someone bring them tea and they’d have a little chat. He was a little surprised when she didn’t visit him in Arkham, but when they ran into each other a little later, she nodded to him with a little smile and he got the impression she wasn’t angry with him.

As time passed, more and more people who were considered to be Gotham’s worst were coming up with more and more stories of Y/n. The girl who didn’t scream when she walked into a store and saw a dead body, but who’s neutrality wasn’t unsettling as much as it was kind of calming. She had all the makings of a twisted, demented villain, and yet she was the most normal person ever. It was confusing and intriguing, but never distinctly a bad thing. She was well known, and no one had anything bad to say about her. 

It was only a matter of time before Jerome found her.

Not long after he did, he was as taken with her as everyone else. She wasn’t annoying, or unnerved by him. She was in fact endlessly interesting. He thought eventually he would get bored of her complete lack of response to even the most terrible things he told her in an effort to get her going, but found instead that the sort of sparks of interest in her gaze and the small smile that sometimes almost touched her lips was enough to keep him engaged.

She was the exact opposite of him, but in a way that didn’t drive him to want her to be gone. He didn’t WANT to kill her. It was weird, and he was living for it.

Slowly, Y/n stopped showing up in public. She stopped visiting Arkham, and the police department. She stopped running into dangerous people who never seemed to mind seeing her around, even if they weren’t supposed to be seen by anyone. She graduated high school but never talked about college. She just... slowly started to disappear.

It wasn’t as suspicious as it was disappointing. No one could tell where she was going or why all the accidental bump ins were being so carefully removed, but it was leaving the idea in everyone’s head that they might not have been accidents to begin with. Not most of them at least. That was the only thing that it could be, after years and years of her being so very unlucky, only for her to quite suddenly not run into a single soul ever. Even when people sought her out, they couldn’t find her unless she wanted to be found.

She appeared rather suddenly at Jerome’s side one day out of the blue.

No one noticed her behind the line of people in chairs. They were distracted by Jerome talking about his terribly sad past, and the people with explosive collars locked around their necks. Most importantly noted: Bruce Wayne and Jerome’s twin brother, Jeremiah.

It wasn’t until Jerome drew attention to her that anyone even registered her at all. She was so still and quiet that behind all the chaos, she might as well have been invisible.

Jerome was only too enthused to rub it in everyone’s faces.

“You know you don’t like me, and that’s fair. I’m not like any of you, am I? I don’t smile right, and I act weird. Then there’s the whole killing people thing.” He giggled, but the crowd in front of him only looked disgusted. “But is that why you really hate me, Gotham? Because I’m a big ol mean bad guy? Do you hate me because I’m a little unhinged? Because I’m a little loud and hysterical and I scare you? Or do I scare you because I have no problem being very honest and very open with all of the things you people LOVE to push under the rug and hide away and pretend no one can see.” He shook his head. “Because I’ve come to realize there is someone who’s exactly like me, but so much better at playing all of you. So much better at playing innocent and harmless and friendly, and with no real intentions other than to prove how easy you all are. How transparent.” His eyes drifted toward Y/n, and he motioned her forward. Without hesitating, she did take a few steps forward, into the light and right behind Bruce Wayne.

Gasps echoed in the crowd. To everyone’s stunned silence, Y/n stood there with the same calm and reservation she always did. She seemed perfectly unbothered by the dead body inches from her, or the people she had always seemed so close to being in danger. She didn’t look around, trying to gauge a way out, and nothing held her in forced obedience. She just looked at Jerome, that same nice, almost-smile and curiosity dancing in her eyes.

“What-” Bruce looked around, mouth dropping open when he saw who was behind him. “Y/n?”

“Ah yes,” Jerome purred. “Gotham’s little angel. Friend to all. Unassuming and nice and calm and wonderful. Aren’t you just a pillar of perfection, Y/n?” He giggled again, and Y/n tilted her head, her smile growing a little,

For the first time ever, Y/n was unnerving. Seeing her of all people look dangerous was so upsetting that the crowd started to step down from their anger towards Jerome and were edging toward true fear. If she could end up being bad, who else could? If even the bets of them could be corrupted, and even the most deranged mind could act completely normal, how could anyone ever tell when people were dangerous anymore?

It could be anyone. Anyone they trusted. Anyone they knew. Anyone they’d talked to long enough to decide they were safe. Because Bruce Wayne had known Y/n best of anyone in Gotham, and even he looked as stunned as everyone felt. He had spent copious amounts of time with her, including for hours straight during school hours, and even he had not on any level or in any way seen anything like this coming.

“Y/n?” Bruce whispered.

Y/n met his gaze. “Yes?”

He wasn’t sure what to ask her. “What’s going on?” is what he settled on.

She shrugged, as if they were catching up after school. During tea time maybe, after having not seen each other recently. “Nothing much. I’m observing and learning. People are so intriguing Bruce, have you ever noticed? I’ve learned so much. All I ever had to do was be polite, and everyone would let me sit there as long as I wanted and observe them. You learn so much by watching people, but even more from talking to them. And they always let me. All I had to do was let them talk. I never lied. I never pushed. I was respectful and curious, and they responded so well. I’ve come to learn that even the most suspicious people feel the loneliness of humanity. They crave to be wanted. To looked at. All I had to do was show interest, and they thrived under that attention. You really have to do so little for people to like you. It’s so interesting.”

Bruce’s eyes had been widening as she spoke. She said it all like she was observing humanity in a way that she wasn’t apart of it. “You’re like us, aren’t you?”

“Oh of course,” she agreed. “That’s the thing. I wanted to understand myself, so I looked at those like me. And those unlike me. To see what was and wasn’t me. To see what was similar and what was so very completely different.” She chuckled softly and Bruce felt sick to his stomach. “I never expected to find someone so very similar to me to be someone seen the eyes of everyone else as exactly opposite. Jerome and I? Very much the same, except I’d rather learn than act. I never really cared about people’s opinions or if they didn’t like me or if they were mean. I was too unassuming for bullying or abuse. I didn’t care if people looked over me like Jerome does, and that’s really the only difference. I just wanted to learn, and people were always willing to let me.” She shrugged. “But people are so simple. So easy to understand. MUCH more straight forward than any of them would like to admit. I think I’m going to be staying with Jerome from now on. He’s interesting. He understands.”

Jeremiah knew who she was only by association, and even he was surprised, despite having known Jerome very close up for so long. He supposed it wasn’t fault, but watching Bruce, he wondered if he’d even been able to tell her true nature. Even now she looked completely normal and safe. Her eyes were full of life, and she was fairly attractive. The way she stood was relaxed and the way she talked was completely normal. What was upsetting about her was not that she was obviously messed up. It was that she was so painfully normal in even a situation that should have been quite upsetting.

“You’re a sociopath,” Jeremiah offered in a sort of leveled voice. Her eyes turned to him and he realized that her calmness was contagious. She had the look of someone you could just... fall into. So easy to trust. Even now he found himself a little lured by her. She was honest about who she was. She didn’t hide anything. She was just quiet, and people forgot to ask. That wasn’t her fault. Maybe she could still be saved from his deranged brother.

“Yes,” Y/n agreed, and her complete acceptance of that didn’t sit well with Jeremiah. “Would you like me to show you? I have come to learn that everyone wants some sort of proof of it. They have a hard time believing me.”

“No that’s okay,” Jeremiah rushed to reassure just as Jerome squealed, “Yes please!”

Between the two opposite reactions from the two very opposite twins, Bruce got the idea of what her kind of proof might mean. “Don’t worry Y/n, we believe you.”

She nodded, and the two boys thought that’d be the end of it. But then she pulled an actual gun out of seemingly nowhere, pointed it at the crowd, and shot without even hesitating. There went up a scream as people scattered, revealing the body of a woman bleeding out on the ground. The bullet had hit someone around her neck and no one could do anything other than give her and themselves plenty of room away from her.

Jerome squealed with excitement.

Bruce looked at Y/n with horror. “I said we believed you! You didn’t have to kill her!”

“But I did,” Y/n decided. “Because they didn’t believe me.” Her lips turned up into a stronger smile. There was no regret or hesitation in her eyes, and Bruce felt dread slowly settle throughout his body. She WAS exactly like Jerome and the only reason this was her first kill is because she’d decided to wait until now to kill someone. They’d all been at her mercy this entire time, like a mouse held down by a mouse trap. Except they’d been perfectly fine just sitting in her trap and letting her watch with mild interest as they died.

She was just like Jerome.

One of the other people in line spat, “You’re actually Satan, oh my god.” His eyes were wide and Bruce got the idea that if he hadn’t been held by the explosive collar, he might have bolted. “You let all of us trust you and welcome you and be around you. You gained our trust, and you don’t even care about us?”

Very calmly, Y/n simply shook her head. “We’re all just meat. Do you care about the animals scientists test on to give you your makeup products and medicine? Do you care about the pig killed for its meat, or the dogs that rip each other apart in the streets for entertainment and money? We’re just animals. You guys have just gotten the idea stuck in your head for some reason that we’re special animals. You won’t admit those animals will eat you just as quickly as you will them. Pigs have high intelligence. You think you’re gods because you have the highest intelligence and then ignore how you so easily ignore what you know and do what you want instead. You give into nature just like any predator. I have simply stopped being either. I’m not villain. I’m not a hero. And you think the people who watch the villain are a different category, but they’re not. They do nothing, and bad thing happen, and that’s it. A woman died, and people didn’t do anything to stop it. There’s a whole crowd of people not held here by anything other than a secret, sick fascination with the terrible things happening here. You are just as bad as Jerome. Just as bad as me. You just refuse to admit it. I don’t. That’s all.”

Grinning, Jerome sat forward in his chair. “Wow I am so in love with you.” He giggled and everyone in the area cringed. The idea of Jerome Valeska being involved like that with Y/n... And the way she seemed to not mind it either. On top of everything else that had happened here, it was so viscerally upsetting. Jerome stood, moving behind the people in chairs to gently grab Y/n’s face, pulling her lips against his. When he pulled away, everyone’s face had gone scaringly pale. “Just, wow,” the red head whispered. 

Y/n seemed to consider that. “You know, I think I have some sort of care for you. Like... like how someone explained a pet to me. Is that how affection feels?” She still looked only curious. It made sense that in a world who didn’t care to learn about people like her, and after a lifetime of holding back her questions and lack of understanding, even after all this time she still would be confused about the different way she experienced relationships with other people.

Jerome shrugged. “I think not, but I can be your pet if you want.”

Y/n smiled. “I think I do want that.”

A victorious smile adorned Jerome’s face. “That’s all I needed!” He turned to face his brother and Bruce Wayne again. “See, I was so stuck on you two. I died wanting to kill Brucie, and I’ve lived my entire life wanting to kill my dear brother, so I lived for nothing else. I thought of nothing else. I existed to end you two. But now, I have a different purpose. There is nothing like looking at someone you find so very interesting and them returning that back to you.” He giggled. “Mom always said I’d never find love. Aren’t you proud of me for proving her wrong?”

“This isn’t love,” Bruce snapped. “It’s demented. You can’t feel love. Neither of you can.”

“Maybe not,” Y/n agreed. “But it will be fun testing that.” She turned and walked off the stage, heading back and disappearing.

Jerome sighed. “And that’s my cue.” There was a gun shot and a sharp pain in his hand as the detonator fell out of his hands. He could no longer explode the necklaces. He made an ‘oopsie’ sort of expression before ducking away as another gunshot run out. “See you around, you two!” His laughter echoed as he disappeared after Y/n, fading away too quickly.

By the time Jim Gordon chased after Jerome, it was far passed too late. Whatever Y/n had done to ensure their escape, it had left no traces. They were gone.

Behind them, they left death and the lingering feeling in the air like this was only the beginning to a very, very terrible love story.

[frederickthegreat]

my thoughts on TUA season 2

(spoilers, obviously)

- opened with Klaus and Ben, my kings. Klaus’s hair looks so weird straightened while short 

- AWESOME opening soundtrack 

- seeing all their powers so controlled makes me wonder how they leveled up to that skill in the alternate timeline. like the only time we saw Klaus use the powers of other ghosts in the correct timeline was when two of them caught him falling out of the sky. however Diego did end up controlling bullets and Allison used her voice to technically kill one of the Swedes

- the homeless man screaming Allison’s name alongside Luther... funny shit

- big teddy bear Hazel

- Elliot was fucking awesome i think he was a great addition as a side character. rip tho :(

- honestly i don’t understand why Diego would WANT to save JFK. like it’s not that big of a deal. does he not understand what messing with the timeline can do??

- Lila... impeccable

- Sissy and Vanya... impeccable <3

- yeah and fuck u Carl

- ugh, Klaus’s beard. disgusting <3

- Ben and Klaus definitely act like they should be, given that they’ve been stuck with each other for over a decade. i’ve seen some people calling Klaus an asshole for not telling his siblings about Ben, which is completely understandable (cause he was an asshole), but I’m guessing it was because he was afraid? that sharing Ben with his siblings would mean that he would lose him to them, or his siblings would find him selfish, or they would ask something of him that he couldn’t give. if that makes sense

- that ghost bitch comment was funny tho 

- to the guy who called Klaus pretty boy at the bar: sir you don’t know what you’re getting into

- Raymond!! he’s such a sweetheart, i really liked him in the show. i’m really happy that Allison has found a bit of normalcy (as normal as the 1960s Civil Rights movement could be). it shows how passionate she is about what she believes in: even though she knows the movement is far from over, even back in 2019, she’s not gonna abandon it

- Allison staring at the moon every night: either thinking about Luther or how the moon blows them all up. maybe both

- of course Luther would be working for Jack Ruby

- awesome cinematography during the mental asylum escape 

- yeah it makes sense that the Handler would still be alive. she was a cool villain. although it would’ve been awesome to see how evil a fish could be

- Diego’s plan was pretty stupid. that’s my boy

- honestly they revealed how Klaus started a cult really well by having one of his followers find him at jail. Klaus, ever the musical aficionado, of course writes his scripture based off of pop songs

- Raymond and Klaus meeting!! that was cool to see how their paths connected

- Lila painting Elliot’s toenails green. ugh i love that crazy bitch

- i LOVE how they incorporated the umbrella man!! tbh i’ve always believed he was the one behind the assassination. Lee Harvey Oswald was framed 

- honestly a bit understandable that Luther was planning on killing Vanya? cause he had no idea who she is now, but them reuniting was actually really sweet. he’s grown up so much

- the Swedes and their cats.

- the Umbrella company building with the nuclear family mannequins... creepy, awesome shit

- baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo

- shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego

- did anyone else get vibes from Klaus’s episode opening that he was an escort to the old woman? like how he was being shown off at her arm or something and getting out of jail from a call from the governor. idk maybe the lady was just very taken with him, as anyone would be

- Elliot, our helpful king

- Allison and Klaus’s reunion was so sweet!! i’m so glad they got to interact so much more in this season 

- Ben getting Raymond out through a haunting... hilarious

- sweet intimate moment between Lila and Diego

- Ray meeting Luther was hilarious, but i do feel for the poor guy. i mean i’m not in love with my adoptive sister but still

- the sit-in was really well done and beautiful while terrible. the ‘riot’ that ensued was very appropriate for today’s setting 

- D-Dave

- honestly i was scared that Klaus was gonna be overly attracted to him or whatever, which would be weird cause he’s years younger than Klaus, but honestly, at the core he just wanted to save Dave’s life. even if it means never meeting him in a different timeline. he truly loved Dave. and that ptsd flashback was done so well

- i knew Lila wasn’t trustworthy but i didn’t REALLY expect that! 

- Vanya and Luther talking with each other, Luther admitting the apocalypse wasn’t all her fault. beautiful

- the Majestic 12 reminds me of the conspiracy theory that only a few families control basically everything in the world. the Majestic 12 may be based off of that, idk

- idk about everyone else but Klaus’s scorpion and the frog story made total sense to me! frogs ARE bitches

- the diner scene.... ugh. it really shows that the two of them did fall in love and they did stupid in love things, like talking about their family, about why Dave wanted to join, favorite colors, favorite foods, etc. however that’s seen later on when Dave visits the compound

- yes it’s very disheartening when Klaus is attacked, but honestly i think it had to happen, just like the riot had to happen. the 60s weren’t a fun time for lgbt people and poc. it was only going to be a matter of time before the show HAD to acknowledge the consequences of Klaus’s ‘flamboyancy’ in 1963 Texas. it doesn’t make it right or easy to see, but it’s realistic. 

- it also makes sense that Klaus fell off the wagon after experiencing something like that. yes we all would’ve liked him to stay sober, but sobriety and recovery aren’t linear. 

- Allison is so happy with Ray can we please drop this pseudo-incest plotline let’s MOVE ON 

- Texas Grace ! who is not actually Grace rip (i think? i was a bit confused lol)

- the scene with Harlan running off was really upsetting but we got to see those weird light particles that we saw in the first season

- Pogo Pogo Pogo Pogo

- Klaus being a dick to Ben again, as brothers do. i do feel bad for Ben though it must be sooo frustrating. that scene with him and Allison was really sweet and funny tho

- i just have to say that Luther and Diego are so fucking funny this season it’s awesome. like there are a LOT of good lines overall by everyone but they’re hilarious. “At least he didn’t shank my ass” “no bro, he shanked your heart”“Dads part of a sinister CABAL that’s plotting on killing the president.” “a caBAL?”“You two still a thing? *leans in* do we need to talk?” “No, she’s married.” “Woah dude... that’s rough.” and countless others

- the sibling reunion!! 

- Klaus really does get left out of everything tbh

- Ben :(

- sisters and Klaus!! that was so awesome to see. and Klaus’s hairpins, Vanya saying she’s gonna tell Sissy she loves her, their dance sequence, Klaus calling Allison out on that incest. beautiful

- the fucking Swedish cover of Hello was PERFECT i mean i was sad for the Swedes but it was hilarious. there were a couple beautiful shots of the boat on fire though

- god it must’ve been so traumatizing for Allison to be thrust into such a hostile place with no voice and no way to contact her family

-  idk about you guys but long live Team Zero

- calling Ben that he was becoming their father was a bit uncalled for 

- the fact that Klaus didn’t help Dave’s chances, and in fact escalated Dave’s own timeline.. his trembling hands... robert sheehan is an amazing actor

- the Black president bit lmaoo loved it

- the way Reginald spoke to Diego.. i’m gonna throw hands with an old man

- Klaus LITERALLY looked like he was having a seizure and they all just... played it off?? 

- poor, poor Carl. nah fuck him lol

- that bloody opening scene was awesome! and thank god Five got to say fuck. the fact that it was about a candy bar makes too much sense

- Robert Sheehan acting as Ben: amazing showstopping spectacular he’s so talented

- the whole multiple Fives and Luther bit was honestly really funny, and i immensely respect smaller Five over bigger Five. 

- yes Klaus, you survived a family of seven. you got this

- not sad about Carl dying one bit!

- Ben... that was such a beautiful scene. not just the content of the scene, but the cinematography. Ben fading away... Vanya hugging him... ugh. the main takeaway i had from that scene is that at the core of it all, Ben and Klaus love each other immensely. they have a weird, dysfunctional, fucked up relationship, where Klaus is an asshole and Ben definitely shouldn’t of possessed him without his consent, but they’re still brothers, and Ben forgives him. 

- oof Ben’s funeral was hard. also was it just me or did Klaus’s kid actor sound weird? like it sounded like Robert was dubbing his lines 

- all the siblings back together again!!!! Klaus going with Vanya to save Harlan!! Vanya telling him Ben forgives him and that it wasn’t Klaus’s fault Ben got stuck with him!! everyone in the car!!! be still my beating heart

- yeah didn’t see Lila having powers coming tbh. i really feel bad for her she’s had such a rough and traumatic life, especially with the Handler as her only parental figure

- the Swede brother and Five putting down their weapons: “enough.” the Swede wanted revenge for his brothers - an eye for an eye, but there was a mutual understanding between the two of them: they would do anything for their family. if the Swede hurts one of the Hargreeves, Five would never stop coming after him. i thought it was very beautiful 

- mmm Reggie’s foreshadowing coming into play. proud of u Five

- the ending was so beautiful. everyone got closure in some type of way. except now Klaus is alone with nothing but his dog tags :(

- EMO BEN HAHAHA WTFFF?? is Lila in the sparrow academy? why was Ben’s portrait over the mantle piece? did Five disappear?? is the sparrow academy just older versions of the siblings who stuck around?? so many questions

FINAL THOUGHTS

- Ellen Page’s acting consistently blows me away. she is amazing 

- beautiful cinematography, funny writing, pretty good acting. i didn’t like the soundtrack as much as i did the first season’s, but some of it wasn’t bad.

- i’m glad ben got peace, but i’m also glad justin min isn’t gone for good. his social media presence is too vital for us

- i swear to god if they keep treating klaus as a joke and don’t let him get any actual development like everyone else had (he barely got closure with Dave, he reconciled with Ben through a second party) next season, i’m gonna riot. PLEASE i want to learn more about his powers now that Ben is gone. what happened to seeing tons of ghosts when he’s sober??

- Luther and Diego were probably my favorite duo of the season, I’m so happy that they’ve reconciled and are bonding more. 

- just seeing Vanya grow and be happy was amazing 

all in all, really wonderful season. i probably liked it better than the first one. now it’s time to consume fanfiction and maybe finish my own (check out “god doesn’t want him and neither does the devil” on ao3!)

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette’s Villainy Lessons with her Uncles, Victor Zsasz, Jerimah, Riddler and Ed

Reminder, the rouges know her as Jillian Strange and are aware her cover in Gotham is Jillian Smith in public.

Most people would think a hitman and casual murder would make a horrible, horribly godfather. At least for morals. 

Well, her father is Strange so he’s not most people. Her Maman had to have dated him or something so she probably isn’t normal either, Marinette would think as lessons began.

“Okay, now today we’re going to review how to take down  someone bigger than you. What do you do first?”

Marinette hummed. “Check what’s on them and around them. Look for weapons and weak points while keeping distance.”

Uncle Victor smiled. “Good job Jill!”

Marinette beamed at that. “Second step?”

“disarm them.”

“Good, now next thing?”

“Exploit wekanesses. Use weapons if possible.”

“In the kitchen, no knives open. but there’s a spork.”

“Spork?”

“Don’t question it. what do you do?”

“aim for the eye?”

“Good! popped out eyes are very distracting. Now, after that’s done, what do we do?”

“Run away and call the family.”

“And why not the police?”

“Batman will know. And he and the police will take me away.”

“And do we want that?”

“NEVER!”

“That’s my Jilly bean. Now, self defense in theory you have down. and you kept up with punch practice, right?”

“And kicks and the bendy-training.”

“Flexibility. You already have strength down, so we can focus on lean muscle like gymnasts and acrobats for you.”

“If i become an acrobat does that mean i have to be nice to batman?”

Zsasz shook his head. “Just because bat is in it, doesn’t make it his.”

“He calls his boomerangs batarangs. I’m not taking chances.”

--

“Now, its all in the wrist, Bend it back, like that, when the target is close.” Jerome hovered over Marinette, watching her form closely.

“I need to do this to take out the bad guys right?”

“If a bat goes after you when you’re with one of us, hit them hard.” He wouldn’t have Strange and whoever Jill’s Maman was after any of them for losing her mid-lesson to a zealous Batman or Robin. 

“Knees are better targets right?”

“Since you’re not allowed to kill, yes.” Jerome still didn’t get that rule, but whatever. His niece followed her Maman’s rules most of the time, and was adamant about that one. it made lessons more difficult, but they worked around it.

“Maman said something about it staining the soul,” the girl threw the knife, just missing the target.

“Eh, mine’s fine.” He didn’t regret any of it, something about him being incapable of remorse. 

“They were bad people right?”

“Of course, i don’t hurt actually good people--they make it so things don’t happen in the first place.” After all, letting things happen was bad too, and worse as far as Jerome was concerned. He still remembered everything his family did and how no one said anything about what was done to him. Silence and acceptance was far worse than doing in his books.

“Like Uncle Victor?” Marinette was still fuzzy on good and bad and the in betweens. her Father said its because binaries can’t contain her understanding so she needs another frame of reference or something.

“Like Uncle Victor,” Jerome agreed, watching Marinette closely as she sunk the next knife into the cereal box. “Now, i think we’ve done enough with weapons for now. Want to practice trapeze tricks?”

“But Aunt Harley isn’t here.”

“Safety nets are there for a reason.”

Marinette considered it for one second. Then bolted up the post and threw each trapeze into one another., making them swing for a challenge “I can’t fly for a few hours!”

“Good! Sooner you get used to falling, the less scary it is, trust me!”

“Okay!” Marinette grinned as she got a running start. She loved lessons like this.

--

Uncle Riddler decided today was a software programming day. And a cyber-crime day, she guessed. But those are always boring--she practices these with Hero Stalker and sometimes Max in Paris anyways.

“See, this is how you beat their firewalls, a simple virus that looks like a normal email. when it’s opened then we have access to the servers and get the information we want, okay?” Riddler was trying to be more clear with her today. Ed was probably trying to keep control.

“How long does it take?”

“Varies.”

“Can we get icecream while we wait?”

Riddler almost sighed. almost.

“Why?”

“Why not? We can’t build anything without the base and Father said no more autopsies in the kitchen.”

“It wasn’t even a human, just a bird. but nooo, that’s traumatizing and damaging to your mind.”

“But it was cool!”

“I know, i know. Bodies are just bigger puzzles... Hm, what’s broken when spoken Jilly bean?”

“The ice cream machine at McDonalds. And Silence, but that one’s an easy answer... OH! hero’s name is a honophone with crazy!”

“Batman.”

“Yep! Did he find the new base yet?”

“Nah, Dent got him off the trail last with another robbing spree.”

“Oh, is it going to Mr. Freeze for his research or bills or the RKC?”

“I... am pretty sure Rose stole it so your group won this time.”

“Yes!” Marinette fist pumped. “I told them operation bouncy ball would work!”

“....I. is that why they were everywhere.”

Marinette grinned back. “Just like you all keep saying, misdirection is the key to getting what you want when dealing with someone with more.”

Riddler grinned, the one that spelled doom for everyone else. “Our little jilly bean is already pulling off jobs on her own! I’m so proud!”

there was shift on his face, his stance altered and he was more... Uncle Ed than Uncle Riddler. “Jill, we talked about this. You need to be at least thirteen before you start plotting on your own.”

“I had co-conspirators of age so i didn’t break that rule!”

Uncle Ed was in control now. “I curse the day Dent taught you about malicious compliance and loopholes.”

“No you don’t. You’re just mad i used it against Dent and you missed him  tripping on everything. Don’t worry, Ghoul had cameras and made a montage.”

 Uncle Ed’s lip twitched. “Really?”

“Ice cream and we watch.” Mairinette knew her horrible stealth uncle had to be good at something. business things.

“Oswald is a terrible influence on you.”

why wasn’t this working? Wait, this is Riddler... “Ice cream please?”

“... fine. but no sparkly sprinkles.”

“But those are the best kind!”

“Jillian Strange,” Uncle Ed warned. “We do not leave evidence at the scene of a crime. Your favorite sprinkles leave evidence everywhere. Do you want to answer to your father about spoiling dinner again?”

“.... No. But after?”

“I want to know who gave you a metabolism like this, but sure. No telling Strange.”

“Okay!” Marinette ran off to the kitchen, returning with a large bowl for herself--half the gallon Ed noted--and a more normal serving for himself. “Here! and this is the video,” Marinette pulled out her ipad and played a few minutes of Dent tripping over various bouncy balls swarming his base.

“You really are a baby mastermind,” Uncle Riddler cooed. “Remind me to set you up with Puzzles later.” 

“Huh?” Marinette looked up from her empty bowl. 

“Nothing,” Ed said, almost glaring. 

“Oh, are you two fighting again? I’ll clean up until its over. Then we can work on the reality augmentation glasses, right?” Marinette asked with her infamous kitten eyes.

“Of course, I think you’ll like the new coding patterns we’ve been working on..”

--

Hope you enjoyed a slice of Marinette Strange Dupain Cheng’s Gotham life. 

Bonus:

“Jill, why are we missing a gallon of ice cream?”

“Uncle Ed took it.”

“...Please tell me it wasn’t for another biology lesson.”

Marinette thought for a moment. She is bad at lying. but letting her Father come to his own conclusions isn’t lying, right?

“I have to remind him that biology lessons are for his base again then, wonderful. I will bleach the counters. Put on  something while i do.”

“Breaking News,Poison Ivy’s Plants are out of control again.”

“Rose ran away again!” Marinette yellled.

Strange took a deep breath. “Get her room ready, I’ll call Harley.”

Marinette nodded, wandering off to find Ghoul and Frost in the ‘extra room’ already. “So who’s turn is it to tell Aunt Ivy to stop?”

“You’re here the least.”

Marinette groaned. “Do i get a disguise?”

“Green wig, colored contacts, and some baggy clothes i can feel you trying to burn.” 

“If i had heat vision it wouldn’t be trying.”

a few minutes later, the boys worked on fixing up the room while Marinette walked through the plant infested section of Gotham. The vines moved away from her, cuasing the few semi-conscious to stare at her. 

“Aunt Ivy! She’s on her way to my place, ok!”

Poison Ivy dropped to Marinette’s level, appearing from a bunch of vines. “Why didn’t she tell me!”

“You do this but at home when she does.”

“She knows better!”

“She’s six. She really doesn’t. Did you feed the flowers human blood again?”

“They were already dead, and they weren’t even half decent poeple. just abusers and pedos this time.”

“Did you tell her or...”

“They’re my children, why do i need to tell my non-plant daughter what her sibblings are eating?”

“So she doesn’t think you’re murdering for fun.”

“Oh right, that..”

--

Marinette casually curbing the rogues while learning how to villian and applying skills in the opposite direction will be a trend in the au. And they support her 100% when she does this as that’s their girl, theirs!

they tolerate whoever she adds though. eventually. 

[black-moon-raven]

I will do anything to protect my sister, even if it means dying for her or lying to her.  

✦————————————✦  

[Name] : Oswald Baskerville

[Alias] :

Oz-kun

Oswald-san

nii-sama / onii-chan (by Ianna)

Transfer Student

Problem Child

Newbie

Dark Knight

[Race] : Human  

[Gender] : Male  

[Age] : ??? ( appearance of 16 years )

[Birthday] : April 20

[Starsign] : Aries

[Blood Type] : -O

[Dominant Hand] : right hand

✦————————————✦    

PROFESSIONAL STATUS:

[Status] : Alive

[Affiliation] : Night Raven College

[Dormitory] : Ramshackle Dorm

[Year] : 1st year

[Occupation] : Student

[Favorite Subject] : Flight

[Disliked Subject] :  History Magic

✦————————————✦    

APPEARANCE INFORMATION:

[Hair] : black

[Eyes] : blue

[Height] : 1,92    

[Weight] : 63 kg

[Appearance] :

Oswald is described as an attractive young man, looking almost like a Dark Knight. He is a man with a tall stature, thin waist, broad shoulders with blue clear eyes and disorderly jet-black hair thas goes white at the ends. He is always smiling although he can sometimes be seen with a serious eye.

His uniform consists of a black blazer and skirt with gold accents, a white shirt under the gray sweater and brown shoes, he wears a black and white tie, and has the magic crystal in the center of the tie. Like is sister he also wears a pair of blue earrings. 

✦————————————✦    

PERSONAL INFORMATION :

[Family] :

Unnamed Father ( unknown )

Unnamed Mother ( unknown )

Ianna : Younger Twin Sister (alive)

[Personality] :

Oswald is always happy and overly optimistic. He can be serious on occasion, but is  usually highly active and cheerful. He appears to be kind and simple,  but is actually clever and highly manipulative. Something else to note  about Oswald in particular is that he can give a sharp gaze that appears  as if he is looking right through someone and at their true selves.  

As reincarnations pass, his love for Ianna has prolonged until the very end - as he considers  nothing to be more important than Ianna's safety. Throughout his  existence however, he's grown attached to numerous others and devotes  his care to them almost equally. The lengths that he's willing to go to  in order to ensure the safety of those he cares for is far more than  enough to prove his need to protect  .

[Background]:

Oswald in his first life was raised by his parents and twin sister Ianna. He was a curious and protective child of his younger sister, and he would do anything to spend most of his time with her to make her smile. A calm and peaceful life, or at least it had been in the beginning. At the time Oswald was born, Ianna was considered to be Child of Ill Omen. As a Child of Ill Omen, Ianna's existence attracted misfortunes causing unspecified difficulties for her and him during childhood, but that didn't stop their happiness, not until this cruel world for her sister decides to kill him and his parents. in front of her. With despair and stress at seeing such a scene Ianna gets out of control and ends up destroying everything around her.

In the following lives the same events were repeated, Ianna lived happily with Oswald but then he died and with that Ianna either committed suicide or lost control of herself and destroyed everything. An endless cycle, Oswald came to blame himself for not being able to protect Ianna when he saw her becoming more and more depressed with the passing of reincarnations and losing her radiant smile. He started to notice that his sister was already going crazy just like him due to the cycle of events, he wondered why it had to be them.

Oswald was noticing that with the passing of reincarnations Ianna started to have an unstable or broken personality due to the extreme stress and pressure she had when protecting “her world” but she never managed to, it was always the same ending. As a last resort of events, she began to lose or forget those memories that caused her pain as a way to escape. What she didn't know is that Oswald was making her forget those memories and not her. Oswald wanted to see Ianna's radiant smile again and he was able to do everything for that even if it means lying to her or killing to protect her and her smile.

Oswald lived with Ianna and her parents in Twisted Wonderland, as Ianna no longer had many memories of the past, at least the ones that caused her pain, she had been the same, smiling and having fun, she had even made two new friends. who were brothers, seeing how everything had returned to normal Oswald was happy, but as Child of Ill Omen she would always be a Child of Ill Omen unfortunately. One day Oswald's parents told him why they reincarnated (yes because their parents also reincarnated), the reason they reincarnated was due to a curse of residing in some family members or at least that's what they thought, as the family was cursed they are not known, but they believe the reason for the curse is for a greater good in the future. Oswald even though he knew now, he continued to question why it had to be them and why they had to make Ianna suffer. Days later when he was in the tower with Ianna playing with her dolls and him looking out the window. Oswald sees his mother running towards the tower and climbing the stairs and warns Oswald and Ianna to run away, Ianna didn't know why but Oswald did, someone was coming to kill Ianna or to take her due to her powers that had been discovered days ago before when Ianna had been upset with some people for speaking ill of her best friends and hurting them. Their mother with the last remaining strength uses magic to take Ianna and Oswald to another world and change Ianna's memories, she says goodbye and asks Oswald to protect Ianna as was always.

When Oswald wakes up he realizes that he is in another world, apparently he was in an orphanage at the beginning he was confused but then he realized that his mother's magic made them fit in with the world they were in that there was no magic or at least that was what he thought . The memories that Ianna had had been changed to memories of the world in which they were as a way for her to forget everything, and Oswald was pleased with that because he did not want to see his sad sister again. Ianna and Oswald were growing up in the orphanage and as they grew up Ianna was having heart problems and went to a hospital where she spent most of the time now, she was stuck and could not leave. Oswald worked to earn money for the operation to Ianna's heart. One day Oswald was returning from working with a gift for Ianna when he started to hear a voice that seemed familiar, he was not paying attention and has an accident where he “dies”, that same day Ianna has a heart transplant. that was the heart of her heart because if anything happens to her he would be the giver for her. Oswald was in a dark place when he started hearing the familiar voice again, it was familiar because it was his mother's voice, his mother explains that their real body was not actually in the world they were in, but in Twisted Wonderland, she in her last moments took their souls to another world and their bodies had been taken to another side where they were being protected until they "died" for their souls after they returned to Twisted Wonderland. Oswald was confused for a few moments with the explanation because only he had "died". His mother later explains that it is enough for Ianna to want to escape the "real" world for her soul to return, it was very likely that Ianna would forget the things of the "real" world. Oswald started to feel heavy and his mother said it was about time. When Oswald wakes up he is in a coffin and does not know the reason for being in one until he hears his sister's voice on the other side, talking to someone, when he leaves the coffin he realizes that he and Ianna were in he returns to his true world, which made him happy but at the same time worried, but that didn't matter to him now because he wanted to see his sister. When he and his sister stood in front of the mirror, sweat started running down his back because he was worried if Ianna and his powers were discovered, to his surprise the mirror said that they had no magic and that they didn't even belong in this world. What made him question himself.The headmaster asked them some questions and decided to let them live in an old dormitory that had no use. Later the headmaster told them that they were going to do some odd jobs as a way to pay for their residence. (And the rest of you already know about the game's prologue.)

His and Ianna's story may change when the game is released.

✦————————————✦    

[Fun Facts]:

[Likes] :

Ianna (her younger twin sister)

sweets

animals

music

[Dislikes] :

stew

hear people talking badly about his sister

[Hobbies] :

write songs  

play games

[Fears] : see  her sister die in front of him

[Weakness]: sister

[Favorite Food] :  Strawberry cake  

[Least Favorite Food] : Stew

[Favorite Drink] : Black  coffee

[Least Favorite Drink] : tea

[Talents] : write songs

[Unique Magic] :   Eyes of True

Oswald unique magic is called Eyes of True, as the name implies, when Oswald activates this magic his eyes can see other people's true intentions. Oswald created this magic as a way of knowing if people are trustworthy or if they have other intentions inside. He can also get people to tell the truth if they look him in the eye.

[ADDITIONAL FACTS] :

[Trivia]:

Oswald's name is derived from Old English “god" and "rule”.  

Oswald is perhaps is a little siscon. He loves his sister to the point of doing everything to make her happy, even if it means erasing her memories to forget the pain, lie to her or kill for her.

He cared about Ianna deeply, and blamed himself for the fact that Ianna was born a Child of Ill Omen.

Oswald and Ianna are cursed. The curse they both have is the curse of reincarnation. It is not known or certain why they have this curse, but every time they die they always reincarnate, and with the memories of the past.

Oswald is always the first to die and with his death, Ianna loses control of herself. She tries to destroy everything or she goes into extreme depression or in many cases she kills herself or tries to escape from reality.

Like Ianna, Oswald is very curious and has an impulse to touch the things that make him also curious.

Oswald even with the passing of the reincarnations he never changed his personality or the way of seeing the world, the only thing that may have changed is perhaps the fact that he is more siscon and protective towards Ianna.

Oswald is the only one who manages to calm Ianna, when she is with her attacks of anger.

Oswald is a morning person and he usually wakes up Ianna in the morning and does her hair.

Oswald does not allow any boy with a romantic interest in Ianna to approach her.(siscon)

Oswald rarely gets angry but when he does it's better to be careful because he is just like Ianna when angry, and having a second angry Ianna is not a good thing.

Oswald is very social with everyone and likes to make new friends. Of course, he makes new friends. He analyzes people to see if they have other interactions in his "friendship". Oswald has a very sharp gaze and people say that when he looks like that he looks like he is looking into the person's soul to see the real person.

Oswald does not like to drink tea, but when Ianna makes tea he drinks because it was prepared by her and not to disappoint her or make her sad for refusing.(siscon)

Oswald and Ianna are initially hated by some NRC students for being in school without having any magic. Later on, when both of them wielded their powers, that hate became fear (especially they were afraid of Ianna) because now the two twins could take revenge if they wanted to, now no one messes with them unless they want to die in their hands.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Further defining the relationship between the Doctor and Clara Oswald; Season 9 episode 1 & 2

Blargh.  I’ve been busy with work stuff and getting ready for some travel so it has been taking longer for me to sit down and actually get this going.  To make my life easier, I’ll try to work on smaller chucks of season 9.  Hopefully, this will prevent me from getting too involved in the post. 

After the Doctor and Clara are reunited in the Last Christmas special (one of the more emotionally rewarding Christmas specials might I add) they are back to traveling together. Episode 1 starts with the Doctor doing a solo trip where he encounters the a young boy, Davros in a creepy handmine field.  Upon learning his name, the Doctor flees seeing that he shouldn’t help the creator of the Daleks himself!  And thus the tension builds as he hides while Davros’ snake servant goes in search of him. 

Of course, Missy decides to catch the entire world’s attention and Clara is summoned to U.N.I.T headquarters and we get a badass scene of her riding her motorcycle to the Tower of London. The biggest shift in how she behaves is how she acts like the Doctor when talking with Kate and the others as they try to determine what is happening.  Clara throws out big picture ideas and almost automatically starts thinking of all of the possibilities that this could be.  She has always been a self-assured and intelligent person, but she commands authority now.

As Missy expects Clara appears with the U.N.I.T. and the two of them have a very tense conversation about the disappearance of the Doctor.  As Missy really wants to have the full attention of the Doctor, she will stop at nothing to rile up Clara and insult her including her hurtful words asking about if Danny is still dead.  Missy presents the Time Lord confession dial to Clara stating it is the equivalent of a will.  She makes it clear it is delivered to his closest friend of the eve of his final day.  Clara’s reaction here is her at her best trying to give nothing away to Missy.  Her concern is evident, yet she knows she can’t be riled by Missy and must remain calm both for her safety and the Doctor’s.

Clara glances down at the dial, back at Missy, back at the dial before reaching for it before it zaps her.

She has a look of complete shock as it hurts her.  Clara believes herself to be the Doctor’s closest friend.  She declared it to Danny when he was just another cyberman.  Yet, Clara is not a Time Lord.  To add insult to injury, Missy points out that Clara is like the puppy with the random couple.  This implies that Missy and the Doctor are like a married couple and Clara is just some dumb pet. I get that the Master/Missy isn’t supposed to be a nice or sympathetic character, but I really personally hate Missy.  She spends all of her time trying to state how intellectually advanced she is, how she has risen over feeble and dumb emotions yet it is 100% clear that she is extremely jealous of Clara and the Doctor’s relationship.  She set their relationship into motion, but she’s not a fan.  Missy and Clara have a very tense exchange as Clara implies that their relationship must be love and Missy is totally offended by the remark and can only retort back Time Lords are better than that.  Clara clearly hit a nerve, not like Missy will ever state the truth.

Missy wants to state that her level of friendship with the Doctor far exceeds any understanding that Clara may have, so thus, she can’t even begin to comprehend a 2000 or so year relationship.  Honestly, not matter how old the Master may be, I really think as a character he/she will never develop a deeper understanding of “humanity” as a concept that includes Time Lords and humans. 

The 10th Doctor has stated that he’s observed people who have done more in 20 years than 80 years implying that time does not always equal wisdom or accomplishments.  He also stated he was just a young one at 90 implying as well that even though Time Lords live much longer, they clearly mature at a slower rate than humans or other species. 

Being the overly analytical nerd that I am, let’s say a 90 year old Time Lord is like a 13 year old human.  It means that at 2000, the Doctor is like an ~ 289 year old human.  Therefore, Time Lords can be more mature and wiser than a standard human, but not as much as one would expect with a different rate of maturation.

Back to the whole Clara - Missy face off, Clara clearly isn’t buying this and provokes Missy by stating that she’s to believe that Missy is best friends with the Doctor and turned good.  Obviously, Missy takes immediate offense to the concept of being good and kills two of the U.N.I.T staff in the area.  Of course Missy threatens to kill the rest of the U.N.I.T people in the area, but is caught when Clara tells her to kill her next.  It shows that despite all of her bravado and her Time Lord intelligence, she can’t figure out where the Doctor is since she isn’t as close as Clara is.

Therefore, Clara wins by telling her to prove that she is serious.  She only needs to point at the plane above her to get her point across.  And with that, Missy has no choice but to obey.

Oh sure, she tries to write it off as something easy and something that she couldn’t actually do anything bad with; yet at the end of the day Missy has to recognize she is out of her depth.

The framing then shifts where Clara is not the one seated and Missy is standing behind her since by her own admission, she can’t find where the Doctor is and Clara is the only person currently who can.

This also gives Missy a chance to put a vortex manipulator on Clara while she is distracted, thus removing her from the assistance of anyone else.  I have to admit, if Missy is so smart, she should have figured out what it took Clara all of 10 seconds to put together - where is the Doctor having a crazy party.

As Clara ponders what will let them know he’s there, Missy states it will be a small anachronism.  Of course both are shocked as he enters playing guitar on a tank . . .

The Doctor then tries to have some hilarious stand up a few hundred years too early and Clara cringes at his fish tank joke while Missy seems . . . not amused? befuddled?

Clara then asks Missy what’s the matter with him.  She’s never seen him like this - and she has seen the 11th and 12th Doctor, so she got to compare to totally different personalities.

He immediately hears her and pulls his sunglasses down a bit to get a better look at Clara and Missy.

Clara then wonders if he heard them and realizes that they are there.  Instead of verbally answering, he proceeds to play some of “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison.  Of course based on their facial expressions both Missy and Clara think the song is about her and likely not the other.  However, Clara wins for having the more totally adorable smile.

As he continues to play, the camera will quickly switch back to them for a moment where Clara beams, Missy then gets a side glance over at her before she stops smiling and is more serious looking.  The camera pans back to the Doctor and then back to a very flattered and happy looking Clara who only stops smiling with her teeth as he finishes playing as if she were caught on tape.

Now the lyrics for “Pretty Woman” aren’t very deep or anything like that, but they are appropriate for the relationship between the Doctor and Clara. Pretty woman, walkin' down the street Pretty woman the kind I like to meet Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth No one could look as good as you, mercy

Pretty woman won't you pardon me Pretty woman I couldn't help but see Pretty woman that you look lovely as can be Are you lonely just like me

Pretty woman stop awhile Pretty woman talk awhile Pretty woman give your smile to me Pretty woman yeah, yeah, yeah Pretty woman look my way Pretty woman say you'll stay with me 'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right Come with me baby, be mine tonight

Pretty woman don't walk on by Pretty woman don't make me cry Pretty woman don't walk away, hey, OK If that's the way it must be, OK I guess I'll go on home, it's late There'll be tomorrow night, but wait What do I see? Is she walkin' back to me? Yeah, she's walkin' back to me Oh, oh, pretty woman.

The Doctor is always lonely - the Doctor travels through time and space yet can never have a friend able to keep traveling with him.  Therefore, these lyrics really fit both of them at the beginning of season 9, the only person they have is each other.

Clara runs down to ground level while Missy continues to watch from above.  The Doctor has to visually look at Missy before she will even come down while Clara was already there waiting for him.  She then comes up to him and asks how he knew she was there.

Clara:  Did you see me?

Doctor: When do I not see you?

Clara: What, one face in all of that crowd?

Doctor: There was a crowd too?

Clara: Wow, we’re doing charm as well now, are we? [laughs] Which one of us is dying?

As she states he’s “doing charm” it means she is impress with how he’s grown as a person and is trying to impress her.  Of course it totally works, she’s beaming at him here as she smiles, though obviously concerned.

After some nervous glances between the two of them, he then hugs her.  She’s thoroughly overwhelmed as the Doctor has initiated a hug between the two of them.

Clara can’t keep up with these changes.  This all makes sense.  Clara, like the 12th Doctor uses her quick wit and sarcasm to deflect when she’s not sure what is happening.  She’s clearly concerned based on her facial expression, but she has to be strong for him since his hugging means he’s worried. 

And we get that worry as the camera finally shows his face as he tells her it is a great way to hide your face.

When they finally break from the hug, she’s able to guess that he’s throwing a party, but this was not the type of party she was expecting.  The lighting in this scene is telling, his light eyes dart back and forth and when she pulls away we see shadows under Clara’s eyes.  She knows this is not the Doctor and he deflects her by stating he’s been many men and all of him is invited to this party.  12 may have come a long way with his emotions, but at a time like this he really still doesn’t know what to do.  He also has to deal with Missy as he then introduces her as the wicket stepmother.  He also uses this transition to place himself directly between Clara and Missy.

It is quite clear that he’s protecting Clara since he already realizes that Missy brought her there and he can’t trust Missy with Clara alone.

There is a bit of chit chat and eventually Colony Sarff, Davros’ snake errand boy shows up and confronts the Doctor.  He states he followed his friends to the location and asks for the Doctor to come see a dying Davros. 

The sonic screwdriver is thrown down before him and he looks ashamed and can’t say anything only able to reply to Clara’s comment that it used to be his sonic.

Not surprisingly, Missy has to ask what the Doctor’s facial expression is.  I waffle on if this implies that Missy knows exactly what that facial expression is and only says that so that Clara states that he’s ashamed.  This is him feeling ashamed for some sort of action.

Clara looks on with great concern as she asks him what he’s done.  That then leads to the rest of the flashback explaining what happened at the beginning of the episode.  Upon learning that the boy’s name is Davros, the Doctor freezes and is unsure what to do.  As the fog rolls in, he uses that as a chance to escape as the fog obscures the TARDIS, yet the tell tale sign sound of it departing before returning to the current events implies that the Doctor abandoned a young Davros.

The Doctor agrees to go and says the lamest good-bye to Clara ever as he just turns to her before turning his back to snake errand boy.  In true Clara fashion she barely even glances at Missy before she springs into action stating that they will come with him. 

And with that, the trio are transported to the ship as they travel to where ever Davros is.

While waiting to meet Davros, the Doctor reveals that he’s the creator of the Daleks (a surprising thing for Clara to not know seeing that she knows tons about the Doctor) and that the bigger question is “Who created Davros?” as an almost rhetorical question.

As Colony Sarff comes to take the Doctor away, he and Clara have a very awkward conversation.  She immediately calls him out on giving the confession dial to Missy.  Therefore, the Doctor knew she was not dead and he had someway to reach her - though she was unable to find him without Clara.  This clearly does not sit well with Clara.  She’s the one who is supposed to be able to lie, not the Doctor to her, Clara.  Their facial expressions are so strained, he’s trying his best to look calm and looks so sad as he hid things from Clara while she tries so hard to look tough. 

The tension between them is so palpable you can almost taste it.  Clara is off her game, he ran off to 1138, had a crazy party, made it so that Missy and Clara would have to find him, he tried to coldly say good-bye and how she’s stuck in a holding room with Missy who keeps trying to kill her.

When Missy and Clara get captured escaping from the room and the Doctor sees her trapped in the room with the TARDIS, he begs Davros not to hurt her.

There is then a discussion between Davros and the Doctor about how compassion was his weakness and he asks himself why he let him live when he stumbled upon him as a boy in his present time. The Doctor looks quite distraught as the Daleks wait for Clara to run before zapping her, the TARDIS is “destroyed” and the episode then ends with the Doctor deciding to save Davros to save his friend. I would say this scene is a complete parallel to the 9th Doctor and Rose when they were on satellite 5.  It appears that Rose was killed by the laser beam, instead she was transported to the Dalek command.  This is the exact same thing, I’m sure the Doctor knows that Missy would have messed with the vortex manipulators, the big question is if she only made it that hers would transport her elsewhere while Clara ends up dead.

Already this meta has gotten out of hand and I haven’t even gotten to episode 2.

The second episode makes it very clear that indeed the Doctor knows that they are fine (again as long as Missy didn’t kill Clara on purpose).  With Clara hanging upside from the rope (where did Missy get the rope? and the stick?) Missy makes Clara take her “Doctor intelligence test” to determine if she should keep or alive or not.  Of course Clara, knowing the Doctor so well, is able to determine not only why Missy wasn’t dead in the first place, meaning the Doctor knows that they are still alive and that the Doctor always assumes that no matter what, he’ll win.

Missy seems to need some convincing as to if the Doctor is actually thinking that, which Clara simply states, he’s expecting them to pick up the slack for him.  Therefore, they should assume that they will win.  All of this must annoy Missy on several levels since she wants the Doctor’s attention but has to deal with the puny and pitiful Clara.

Since the Doctor and Clara are separated, I’ll only briefly [try to briefly] get though parts of the episode.

The Doctor is upset and steals Davros’ Dalek chair and a laser as he messes with the Daleks.  They point out that he does not use violence, confident that he will not actually fire a weapon at them.  They do seem to forget that the 10th Doctor clone did commit Dalek genocide, but for some odd reason that doesn’t count. . . .

However, Clara is involved and this is clearly foreshadowing to how far he will take things for Clara.  Really, the Doctor has two great enemies, the Daleks with Davros and the Time Lords, well the Time Lord establishment that is.

Meanwhile, Clara and Missy are stuck in the Dalek sewers as Missy really defines how she really can’t work with anyone despite her opinion that she is a great friend of the Doctor.  Clara is 100% correct that they are not a team and the entire time it is like the worst Time Lord - human team, with the Doctor and Clara making the “best” Time Lord - human team.  I digress.

The Doctor then gives his demand to the Daleks, that he wants Clara Oswald returned unharmed and alive and he even makes sure it is broadcast through the whole city so Clara and Missy can hear it as well.  Missy comments on it while Clara only listens.  Clara clearly is trying to understand what it all means.  What is interesting is that Missy states this is the Doctor without hope . . . upon saying that Clara only shifts to look at Missy in shock.

Does Clara think he’s actually without hope?  She does look like she’s holding back tears, but she is unusually silent and instead Missy keeps commenting.  With Danny’s death Clara was talking non-stop when she was upset.  Now, she’s oddly silent.

To be able to infiltrate the Daleks, Missy makes sure to stick Clara in a Dalek casing, which has the added benefit that, she can no longer say her name . . . this is a bit of an odd thing since when Clara’s part of her self that had been scattered through the Doctor’s timeline was her Oswin Oswald, who was a fully transformed Dalek and could still say her name.  I think you wrote yourself into a little contradiction there Steven Moffat. . . not like your whole weeping angels issue between “Blink” and when Amy and Rory get stuck in 1880 something.  Sorry dude, your writing is not the most consistent.

The point is, everything that Missy does, is to use Clara to her advantage while still keeping her expendable and Clara just had to roll with it. . . . the whole thing highlights how her relationship with the Doctor is so much more equal even though there are times Clara will act as bait to assist the Doctor.

A huge portion of this episode is dedicated to philosophical discussions between the Doctor and Davros as Missy tries to use her negotiating skills with the Supreme Dalek.  I’m personally surprised that they can’t figure out that Clara is in the one Dalek shell, it is one hell of an assumption to make after the Doctor stole Davros’ chair.

The Doctor being himself, knows that Davros will likely try to take advantage of his compassion, a constant theme these two episodes but damn well knows he’ll also wake up the zombie Daleks. 

Missy runs into wake up the passed out Doctor and has procured the Dalek laser.  The Doctor immediately asks where Clara is and if she is fine, while Missy is upset he’s not asking about her at all.  Of course he gets the last laugh and runs out with his confession dial and runs into Clara.  He stops as the Clara Dalek says “Doctor.” and he tries to tell her to run.  The framing of this shot is good, we see Clara at the end of the hall and then it switches to a view behind Clara looking at the Doctor.

This is a classic “reunion” style shot as two characters approach each other after being separated.   The issue is that the Doctor thinks it is a regular Dalek and the weird Dalek programming won’t let her explain things clearly (really seriously, this plot inconstancy is bothering me, Clara should be able to override the Dalek programming since she already has done it).

Missy confirms that it is Clara and then tries to convince the Doctor to kill the Dalek as it is the one that killed Clara.  All of her cries that she is his friend and that she would never hurt him eventually result in the the Dalek saying “mercy” which is enough to get the Doctor to step back a second and realize that something is off with this Dalek (as well as Missy’s insistence to kill it).  Upon realizing that it is Clara, he lowers the laser and tells her to open the casing and helps her figure out how to open it.

He is at a loss for words as he sees Clara as tears run down her cheeks.

She’s trapped inside and he reaches his hands out to hold her face as she cries and really, we don’t get a great look at his face as it is shaded most of the time.

What is clear is he feels terrible about everything and to steal an oft used phrase from the 10th Doctor, he states that he is “I am so sorry.”  Since the 12th Doctor is much less social and has only had one companion so far, Clara, the guilt he must feel this time has to be immense. 

It is clear that when he tells Missy to run, it is a threat that if Missy doesn’t leave him and Clara alone, there likely will be consequences. 

The action then skips back to them returning to where the TARDIS was.  They return to the location and Clara looks perplexed why they were not shot when the Doctor reveals the TARDIS is fine and with that statement Clara is beaming and smiling as he explains things to the Daleks.

This is clearly and expression of deep love and appreciation for the Doctor here.

And back to form, now with Clara, he can show off as he looks back at her softly with that spirit in his eyes.

He has his Clara Oswald back safe and sound.  He knows what he needs to do.  With that he puts his sonic sunglasses on with more bravado than necessary (since it is all for Clara) and we get a repeat of how she looked when he had the invisible watch and was playing around with her.  The two of them look like two idiots who can’t get enough of each other.  What seals the deal is when the Daleks ask what is happening.

The Doctor’s reply.

Oh same old, same old.  Just the Doctor and Clara in the TARDIS. [Clara giggles]

As they escape it is just the regular old Doctor and Clara looking at each other, smiling, beaming at each other.  The two of them are 100% into each other and the fact that he makes it sound like they’ve been at this forever and will be at it forever shows how different 12 is compared to some of the other Doctors. He’ll do anything to hold onto Clara.  This really is the normalization of the two of them as an inseparable duo.

As they watch the Dalek city on Skaro succumb to the zombie Daleks, she asks if she’ll get to know what is on the confession dial, but she damn well knows he’s not going to tell her.

As he discusses the ability of Clara to get the Dalek to say “mercy” he ponders how it would be left in their programming so to speak. 

Realizing that it was the Doctor saving young Davros (and giving him his sonic) that it was himself who then allowed himself to save Clara.  He sprints off to the TARDIS and rescues Davros and only tells him that mercy matters, and likely based on Missy’s behavior, he tells him that friends and enemies likely doesn’t matter but that mercy does.

The first two episodes of season 9 serve a purpose both to shadow what will happen at the end of the season as well as show how far the Doctor will go to make sure that Clara is safe and sound.  His love for Clara is almost extreme compared to his love for others that he has traveled with before.

I found their reunion at bit flat, when they reunited during the “Last Christmas” episode, it felt much more of a connection between the two of them.  Instead, we the viewers barely get anything, we don’t even get to see him pull her out or hug her.  Did they think this would be too much too early? 

Overall, they do set up the depth between Clara and the Doctor and really highlight how much they love and care about each other while Missy acts as a foil to both of them wanting to have the Doctor’s full attention, yet never able to do so.  It seems like episode 1 did a better job of connecting Clara and the Doctor, while episode 2 fell flat for sure and just didn’t seem sincere enough even though there were dramatic events.

It went from the Doctor almost shooting Clara to them back to normal as the TARDIS materializes around them and no discussion of this afterwards.  Clara was unusually silent as well in the episode, it just felt off.  By this point, they should have had a long detailed conversation about what happened, but no, he hops back into the TARDIS, saves young Davros and the episode ends.

[antihero-writings]

The Things He Left Unsaid--Pandora Hearts Fic for Phmonth Tragedy Trio Week, Day 4: Breath (full fic!)

Title: The Things He Left Unsaid 

Synopsis: But he kept it all inside his head/ What he saw he left unsaid/ And though he wanted to/ He couldn't talk to you/ He couldn't find the way/ But he would always say/ If I could tell her/ Tell her everything I see/ If I could tell her/ How she's everything to me/ But we're a million worlds apart/ And I don't know how I would even start. Oswald has never been much for words, but he does care about Lacie…Does he ever tell his sister how much he loves her?

Notes: This was written for @Phmonth19 Tragedy Trio Week, Prompt 4: Breath, as well as the song "If I Could Tell Her" from Dear Evan Hansen. And I hope you guys enjoy it too!! Let me know what you think!! This one goes out to @song-of-amethyst/Maisunadokei1856, who loves Oswald and the Tragedy Trio in general, and deserves more great fics for them, as well as for helping me come up with ideas for this fic, and to @gemini-in-tauro who loves Dear Evan Hansen and Pandora Hearts!! Please go check out their fics!!​

Fic: 

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Oh, just that he thinks you’re…wonderful.”

Lacie’s eyes lidded. “This is still my brother we’re talking about?”

Jack laughed a little. “Definitely.”

“Remind me again, how long have you known him?”

“Fine, don’t believe me.” He hugged his knees, “But I’m pretty good at reading people. He’s just…not so much with the words,” he said in a deep voice, imitating the one they were talking about. “But I can tell he really cares about you.”

Lacie looked at the ground, those red eyes flickering. “How can you tell?”

“Well…” Jack looked up into the sky, thinking. “Your smile.” He turned to her, as if appraising that smile…which was not currently present on her face.

“What about my smile?”

“It’s sort of…” he traced patterns in the ground, “subtle, and perfect, and real.”

She scoffed. “What does this have to do with my brother?”

“See, I’ve only been around that smile for a little while, but your brother, well …he’s been around it his whole life. I have trouble believing anyone could be around that smile so long and not fall in love with it.”

“Riight…”

“Let’s see…whenever you get bored you escape your tower to watch the stars, dragging innocent boys into your schemes,” they both smirked, “and make up lyrics to his songs…What’s not to love about that?”

That coerced a smile onto her face. He noticed it, and sat up, continuing.

“He told me about your cooking for him. Like that time you made him a birthday cake.”

“So what?”

“He said it…” he swallowed like he didn’t want to say anything negative about her, “tasted horrible.”

“And?”

“He still ate it, didn’t he?”

She turned to the stream, considering it. “What else? What else did ‘my brother’ notice about me?”

“Well… if nothing else, there’s one I know he notices:” He pushed his hair back behind his ear as a breeze brushed by. “the way you sing and dance. You know, without reserve…like the rest of the world isn’t there.”

“Are you sure these aren’t all things a certain Vessalius boy thinks about me?”

His face split into a grin. “Quite the mystery isn’t it?”

She shoved his shoulder, knocking him, laughing, down into the grass.

“Alright so maybe I can’t know all that.” He sat back up. “But he does love you. I just…don’t think he knows how to tell you.” He paused. “You two are worlds apart, really. He, never straying from the rules. You, the unchanging free spirit.” he looked at her, then at the ground, like he wasn’t supposed to speak the words aloud. “But he does love you.”

She watched an ant crawling in the grass.

“Or maybe he notices when you two are talking about him behind his back!” they started as the object of their discussion spoke.

“O-Oswald!” Jack stood up, brushing himself off. “W-we were just talking about…”

His eyes lidded at him, then he turned to Lacie, who smiled sweetly, finishing Jack’s attempt at a lie with a too-overt truth.

“How much you looove me.”

He rolled his eyes.

*****

To say sleep eluded him wouldn’t have done the scene justice. Instead of resting quietly on his eyelids, sleep pummeled Oswald, tossed and turned him over like dough, sent him to the ground beside his bed, until finally the restlessness of his mind spilled out as tears on his face.

“Nii-sama?”

The little boy hugged his knees, hiding his face.

Lacie’s tiny feet pattered over to him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure you are.”

He hugged his knees tighter.

“It’s nothing. It’s stupid anyways,” he muttered.

She sat down next to him, pulling a blanket from his upturned bed around both their shoulders.

“You’re right, it probably is.”

He glared at her, revealing his tear-stained cheeks.

“But it’s keeping you up…so it can’t be completely stupid.”

He turned his head to the side, looking away, wiping his nose.

“It’s the ceremony tomorrow, isn’t it?” She cocked her head further to the side, trying to make him see her.

He didn’t reply.

“What are you scared of? …Is it the creepy door? It’s really not that scary once you go in!”

“No…And Master told you not to go in there without permission.”

“You don’t want to have a big ugly bird inside you?” she continued as if she hasn’t heard him.

“No it’s not that…It’s just…”

“You don’t want to drink its blood?”

“No…Ugh…That’s not…”

Lacie cocked her head to the side, at last listening patiently.

At her patience, Oswald turned towards her. “Master Glen keeps talking about how I’m gonna be his next bodily vessel, and I’m honored but…what does that mean?”

She blinked, as if to say What do you mean ‘what does that mean’?

“Well…When he starts putting these ‘Chains’ inside me…when I become Glen…Am I…Am I…Am I gonna stop being… me?” he squeaked, like saying the words allowed made them scarier.

Lacie paused a moment, putting a finger to her chin as if contemplating it, then simply said, “You think too much, Nii-sama.”

He folded his arms and looked away.

“I can’t pretend I understand half of what Glen talks about—”

“Master Glen.”

“—so I don’t really have an answer but…what’s the use worrying about it?”

He slowly turned towards her.

“If you don’t want to be his next ‘bodily vessel’—whatever that means—then why don’t you say something? Do something? Try to change it?”

“No…I-I…do…I mean, at least, I know I should…it’s just…”

“Then why spend time making yourself miserable thinking about what could go wrong? If and when that happens, you’ll be older, right? You’ll understand. You don’t need to keep yourself up thinking about it now.”

“But—”

She put her finger on his lips, then took his face and turned it towards her to tell him she wasn’t finished. “And you’ll always have me. Even if you become some creep, or monster, I’ll still be me. And I’ll be there to punch you if you do.”

A smile crept up onto his face. He rubbed his nose.

That was the first time he felt like he could breathe the whole night.

“You promise?”

She smiled, holding up a fist. “Oh, believe me, I will.”

That smile. More irrefutable than any argument. Like she refused to let the sadness reach her. Just that smile was enough. Enough to push the darkness away, if only for a moment.

She pulled him into a hug, and they rested their heads on each other’s shoulders.

He wanted to tell her. To tell her how much that smile meant to him. How grateful he was that she had cheered him up. How grateful he was to have her. How much it meant to hear that she wasn’t going anywhere, and she’d make sure he wasn’t going anywhere either. How much hope she gave him.

He took a deep breath.

He wanted to use it to say ‘I love you, Lacie.’

Instead he let it out.

*****

Lacie had always been atrocious in the kitchen.

Not just that she didn’t know how to cook, bake, or otherwise hold a whisk. She decimated the space. Even the simplest of recipes would end with the counters covered in sauce, batter, frosting, or other undisclosed semi-liquids; the bowls stacked around the room like she’d been trying to create a tower with them; spoons, spatulas, knives, and other utensils strewn about like they’d gotten lost on the way to the drawers. And that was nothing to say of the chef herself; her advancements in the field left her face and dress covered in ingredients. The servants always played rock-paper-scissors over who would have to clean her dresses after these endeavors (aprons, apparently, were too restricting… and her dress would get covered somehow, even if she wore them).

But it was Oswald’s birthday.

And she would be damned if she wasn’t going to bake him a cake.

The moment they learned of her plot, the servants, and any other people who didn’t want to end up in the splash zone, sectioned off the area as if it were a crime scene.

There was one, however, who didn’t mind insane situations, in fact quite enjoyed running straight into the daydreams of deranged little girls, and never missed a date with madness.

A few of the servants raised a finger as he walked by, as if to warn him, but thought better of it.

Glen opened the door, ducking as a spatula landed centimeters from his head, without a change in expression.

“This stupid batter won’t listen to me!” the little girl slammed her fists on the counter as another spoon clattered to the ground.

He chuckled. “Well, what exactly have you be telling it? Maybe if you stopped insulting it and actually had a decent conversation it’d be more prone to listen to you.”

She scowled at him.

He strolled over to her, throwing a “Let’s see what kind of mess we’re dealing with here,” over his shoulder as he observed the mangled batter. He dipped his finger in and tasted the concoction from which getting salmonella was the least of his worries. “Have you tried adding sugar? It always helps spruce things up.”

“Hmm,” Lacie grunted, pattering over to the opposite counter, stretching for the sugar container against the back wall. She glared at him when reached over and grabbed it with ease, dropping it in her hands, as if she wanted to do this all on her own.

“Now what?”

“Well, I’d suggest you add it in and mix it, but that’s just me.”

She proceeded to add it in in handfuls without measuring.

“This might help,” he slid a measuring cup over to her.

She used it…just not in the intended way; she didn’t pay attention to all those pesky little lines.

“Can we add chocolate?” she asked when she had sufficiently smothered the batter in sugar.

“Sure, add whatever you want,” he sang, grinning as she found the cocoa powder and, once again, paid no regard for rules or recipes.

They proceeded to spend at least another hour like this, with Glen giving her vague instruction, Lacie pouting as she followed it with her own flair.

In the end two chocolate covered gremlins stared down at their droopy, half-frosted baby and grinned…for very different reasons.

Glen went to retrieve Oswald, and once they finished dinner, they sang to him, presenting the monstrosity (which, if it was remotely edible, was only due to Glen’s suggestions).

Oswald stared at the slowly wilting gift like it was an insurmountable mountain he’d just been asked to climb.

He had some experience with Lacie’s kitchen adventures. One time she tried to feed him something she called “The Lacie special” but he was sure was a frog she accidently set fire to (…needless to say he did not finish). Another time she’d actually tried to make him a decent meal, and forced himself to eat enough of it that he spent the night puking it up. And now, apparently, he was supposed to eat this…thing in front of him.

Glen cut him a too-large piece and slid it over to him with a grin, and the air of an executioner serving a criminal his doom.

Oswald swallowed, digging his fork in with determination, then brought it to his mouth, preparing himself for the assault that was about to happen.

It wasn’t…good. Too sweet and too bitter at the same time, and the texture all wrong.

But it also wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

“What do you think, Nii-sama?”

He wanted to tell her the truth.

“Mmm hmm” he grunted, trying to sound satisfied.

She beamed proudly. “Good!” she pushed the plate closer to him. “There’s plenty more where that came from!”

Oswald looked to Glen for mercy, only to find he was trying to stifle his laughter.

He continued to shovel bites into his mouth, hoping this wouldn’t be the end of him.

He wanted to make up some excuse, wanted someone to rescue him.

But that would erase the smile from her face.

He wanted to tell her, regardless of how it actually tasted, how happy it made him that she would do this for him. He wanted to tell her how much it meant to him that she spent the day making this for him. He wanted to tell her that every birthday is happy as long as she’s in it.

He swallowed, taking a deep breath.

He wanted to say ‘I love you’.

Instead he kept eating the cake.

*****

When Oswald arrived at the top of the tower, his sister was nowhere to be found.

This wasn’t exactly a rarity. Lacie wasn’t the kind of person who liked to sit in towers quietly, talking to the birds and dreaming of a world out there. She went out and grabbed everything off the world’s shelves herself.

He picked up a few stray socks and ribbons—(he always found himself cleaning up her messes)—and stepped up to the window to close the curtains for evening.

…There she was, sprawled out on the grass outside.

He banged his head against the windowframe.

He knew well she was plagued by countless whims and impulses, and unburdened by a sense of discipline over them…still, why she would be out at this hour exactly was beyond him.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He asked when her impulses had dragged him outside too.

“Shouldn’t you be?” she smirked.

He looked away, folding his arms, daring not to say you’re the reason I’m out here.

She patted the grass next to her as if she’s saved him a seat at the opera.

He rolled his eyes, but sat down all the same.

“What exactly are we doing out here?”

“What does it look like? Stargazing.”

His folded his arms, incensed there was a reasonable explanation for all this.

“What rhymes with ‘purple’?” she asked after a moment.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“The color.”

“I know what you meant… I’m just having a difficult time connecting stargazing to rhymes with purple.”

“They’re not connected, dummy.”

She pushed him down into the grass, making sure he didn’t miss her favorite show.

“I’m making up lyrics to one of your songs.”

“Oh.” His eyes widened at both her actions and her responses, then he paused, staring up into the pockmarked sky, admiring the view, thinking. “…I don’t think there are any rhymes for purple.”

“There must be…” she rested her head on his chest, staring up at the stars herself, “Maybe they just haven’t been invented.” She traced patterns on the back of his hand.

“You’d like to invent a word for one of my songs?”

“Maybe. Why? Are you against ‘shmurple’ being a word in one of your songs?”

“I’m not for it.”

She laughed. “Fine, I’ll pick a boring, real word.”

He carded his free hand through her hair, trying not to smile.

This was… nice.

He wanted to tell her off for escaping her tower, especially at this hour, but she had a way of pulling people into her antics, even her law-abiding brother at times.

Now, laying out in the grass, golden lights keeping watch over them, their breath carried away by the breeze…he thought he might like to stay.

He wanted to tell her that. How grateful he was for moments like this. That he wished this star-struck moment could last forever. Just him and his little sister hiding away from the rest of the world. Just Oswald and Lacie, no ill omens, no Baskervilles, no trials nor Juries, nor cursed titles and the responsibilities that came with them.

He took a deep breath.

He wanted to use it to say ‘I love you.’

Instead he let the stars have their moment.

*****

Another area in which Lacie had little to no expertise was, ironically, needlework. Plenty of girls in this day and age were prone to sitting on the couch quietly and embroidering, crocheting, sewing up a dress, knitting scarves, and other various projects that required needle and thread.

As established, Lacie, first of all, was not the type of girl who sat quietly on couches in general. She’d always been a rather squirmy child, preferring to go outside and play tag to sitting inside and reading, so the activity didn’t fit her personality in the first place.

Second of all the details had always frustrated her—too fiddly to keep her attention. All those tiny stitches, every one needed to be perfect, or it would throw off the balance of the whole ensemble…She liked when things were imperfect.

But she had to maintain appearances, and when she ripped her dress on one of her many adventures, it was her job to sew it back up again without anyone knowing.

‘Without anyone knowing’ being the key issue here.

“What’s that?” Oswald asked at one of the many parties hosted by the Baskervilles.

“Don’t be rude, Nii-sama! Just because you don’t think she’s pretty doesn’t mean she’s a thing!”

He tugged at the helter-skelter sewing job on her dress.

“Hey! What business do you have grabbing a lady’s dress!” she whisper-shouted—(though a few people still heard, and stared their direction, inching away)—in mock outrage.

He glanced out at the people, then returned to the object of discord, running his fingers along the haphazard stitching. “What happened?”

“If you must know…” she explained, knowing he had every idea what actually happened, “I was sitting in my tower, like a good girl, and suddenly this bird flew in and ripped it.”

Oswald’s eyes lidded.

“Terrible isn’t it?”

He grabbed her arm, pulling her through the crowd.

“First grabbing my dress, then my arm?! My, sir! You’re very forward.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing her to one of the servant’s rooms.

“Take that off.”

“Excuse me?!” she folded her arms over her chest.

“You can’t go walking around at a party in a ripped dress.” He rummaged in one of the drawers, picking out a needle and the correct color of thread. “It reflects poorly on Baskerville name.”

She puffed out her cheeks, like she didn’t really care about said name. “Fine.”

She slipped off her dress with barely a regard for modesty, revealing the petticoat underneath, dropping it unceremoniously into his outstretched hand.

He set it down on the desk, threading the needle and finding the blemish.

Always a source of embarrassment, his personality, on the other hand, always calm and calculated, following the rules and hating messes and imperfection, lent itself quite well to the delicate art of needlework.

Lacie stepped up to the window—(…where anyone could see her…)—observing the courtyard and any guests meandering through it.

As Oswald took a closer look at her inexpert attempt, he realized that she hadn’t simply poorly executed the patch…she had actually tried to create a little design. It looked to be a crude outline of a rabbit. He tried not to smile upon seeing it, proceeding to undo her efforts and begin his own.

Lacie wandered about the room, picking up objects, putting them down, making jokes about the paintings, before standing quietly and watching over his shoulder. He easily dragged the needle through the fabric, and there was a mesmerizing quality to the ease with which he could accomplish perfectly what was an impossible undertaking for her.

“My, Nii-sama,” she rested her arms on his head, “if I didn’t know better I’d think you were an old lady.”

He paused, eyes flickering to her resentfully, before resuming.

Once he finished, he held up the freshly repaired dress to examine it.

“Try to be more careful next time, alright?” he advised as he held it out for her, staring intently at her, “We wouldn’t want anymore birds swooping in and ripping it again, now would we?”

“Anything for you, Nii-sama!” she smiled too-sweetly and kissed his cheek, throwing it back on and rushing back into the soiree.

He stared after her.

Always so reckless, so quick to follow her desires—and not instruction—without regard for the consequences. Whether it be rushing off on some self-appointed quest, back into the party, making improper jokes, or creating a little design instead of just fixing what she’d broken. Barely a warning, a ‘please,’ or ‘thank you’ along the way.

Still, he reasoned as he put the supplies away, even though it annoyed him at times, he admired her.

He never did anything without calculating the risks first, and always followed directions, sometimes too closely. He did things by the book, without flourishes. To speak of birds…he was the bird that stayed in the cage like he was supposed to. She was the one who picked the lock and broke out into the sky, and drew pictures in the clouds with her wings. …Sometimes he wished he had the guts to fly with her.

He wanted to tell her how he appreciated her at least attempting to fix what she’d broken…he wanted to tell her how cute the little bunny she made was.

Instead of reprimanding her…sometimes he wanted to say ‘Thank you. Thank you for the adventures, and the jokes, and the whimsy, and the messes. I don’t get enough of that.’

He didn’t really want to tell her not to go on adventures…he wanted to tell her to take him with her next time.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that. Couldn’t allow it. Couldn’t tell her.

He could, at least, tell her he loved her.

But when he returned to her side, he merely listened to her conversations--(now a perfect representation of a Baskerville lady...at least in appearance. She may or may not have proceeded to speak with the guests about numerous risqué things...)

*****

Oswald’s fingers darted from note to note on the piano like a bird, carried free by the notes, the melody coming from his soul rather than his body.

He wasn’t the only bird here; with every flourish of the keys came another twirl from the woman beside him, lyrics spilling from her soul too, as if she wasn’t tied to the ground.

His eyes flicked from the keys, to the music, to her.

This was…beautiful. The song. Her lyrics. Her dance. This moment.

She was beautiful like this.

He never understood how she could dance and sing so freely, like it was just her and the music. If he ever tried to dance he tripped into something (more than likely another dancer), or else didn’t look very elegant. Whenever he sang he cared too much who heard him, who was watching, and if it sounded good, to get any true assessment of his abilities. Besides, he didn’t have the mind for lyrics. Words got all tangled up in his brain. Notes were simple, planned, and didn’t have all these meanings that could ram into each other, tie themselves up in knots, and get lost in translation. With notes he just had to put one after the other.

Yet from the first step she took, her whole life was a dance. So when she truly danced, it was something that transcended her own life; she was in another world, completely unaware of those around her, or even her own body…she was the song now.

The music closed off with an enchanting crescendo, the notes growing faster, her voice raising higher, until the song ended, and suddenly there was silence.

Slowly his fingers came to rest above the keys.

She walked up to him, smiling and panting for breath, leaning on the piano.

“That was wonderful Nii-sama, wasn’t it?”

He wanted to say Yes. Yes, it was wonderful, I loved your lyrics—(could do without the ‘shmurple’)—and your dance. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked when she’s dancing, how wonderful her voice was, and how much he liked the lyrics she gave his song.

He wanted to ask her how she could dance like that, like the rest of the world wasn’t there, and she was alone in the room with the song. Like she was the song. He wanted to ask her what she saw, heard, felt in the music that he didn’t, how, why she looked so free when she was dancing. What the beautiful messes and imperfections were beneath the calculations.

He wanted to say you were wonderful.

“How do you…do that?” he asked at least.

“Do what?”

“…Dance like that.”

“What’s that saying?” she put a finger to her chin, “‘Eat, drink, be merry, for tomorrow we die’?”

His eyes widened.

Instead of noticing his shock, she smiled, continuing. “Something like that.”

His gaze, dropped, along with the bottom out of his stomach.

And his thoughts changed direction. Now he wanted to say he was sorry, that she shouldn’t have to die. He wanted to bang on Glen’s door and demand that she live, that he not have to kill her—Lacie, his little sister, who he loved. He should be the one to protect her from all things that dared hurt her. He wanted to say that that’s no good reason to dance so beautifully, that she should dance for tomorrow, not just today.

“I’m starving!” She took his hand and pulled him up. “Let’s get something to eat! Maybe some meat?”

He liked her alive. He liked the songs, and the dances, and their meals, and conversations, and adventures. All that would end when she died. He wanted to tell her just how much he wanted her to stay alive.

And that night, when sleep bullied him like it did all those years ago, he wanted to run to her room, to weep on her shoulder and say how much he was dreading the ceremony, how much he wished she didn’t have to die, how he didn’t want to kill her, that he was going to fight it after all. He wanted to beg her to take him off on one of her adventures, so they both stay alive…stay the Oswald and Lacie they were all those years ago, beneath the stars.

He wanted to say ‘I love you.’ ‘I love you.’ ‘I love you so much.’ ‘Don’t leave me here alone.’ ‘Punch me in the face, I’ve become a monster, just don’t sit quietly and let it happen.’

‘I love you, Lacie.’

But he stayed in bed.

*****

It was a lovely ceremony. Everyone thought so. Everything went flawlessly, each cue followed without a single hiccup.

The Baskervilles bowed profusely to him, and spoke of how honored they were to have such a decisive and devoted leader. Levi—(Levi now, not Master Glen anymore)—had commended him for an impeccable performance—

(it wasn’t a performance was it? They all treated like it was some glorious show, but this was real. This was…this was blood and death and—)

There had been no tears when she died. This was not sad. This was not loss. This was justice. This was virtuous, and noble, and proper, and right. Everyone had told him so since they were children. That’s all her death was, a period at the end of a sentence. The signing of a contract.

(A contract selling his soul.)

And he almost believed them. From the very beginning this whole becoming Glen thing was a great honor, a golden opportunity, and the margin for error, for what if they’re, what if this is, wrong? was a small black spot in the corner on an otherwise spotless painting. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn��t dare let that spot consume this immaculate image, made by people who knew better than him.

Everything perfect. In its place. No hiccups. No spots. No broken rules, or uncalculated errors.

No messes.

That’s all she was to them. A mess Glen made, that he needed to clean up.

Glen slipped into his quarters after the dinner, after shaking hands with all the friends and strangers who had come to watch, congratulating him for earning such a privilege as the name ‘Glen.’

Glen did not retire early, did not tell them it wasn’t the honor they thought it was, did not show anything was amiss. For nothing was.

That day he was some sort of machine, an automaton sent and meant to follow others’ bidding, and he did so without a slip. He was built to be the master of the Baskervilles, and carry on their name properly, programmed to eradicate every distortion against this design, especially those anomalies created by him. If he made a single mistake, it meant something was wrong with his code, with the calculations he was made of. Glen held himself high, and breathed easy, guiltless and free.

However, when he arrived in his bedroom he did not hang his cloak up neatly in the wardrobe. He did not pour himself a nightcap and slip into his nightclothes, before sliding into bed and sleeping soundly, knowing he’d received a great reward, and done his job well, as he was programmed to.

Nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong with what he’d done. Nothing was wrong with him.

Glen was, as he should be, the picture of the Baskervilles. Glen had done everything right, and was marked with a name that said he would continue to do so…if not, the chains holding the world together might just fall apart.

Oswald hadn’t taken a single breath that day.

Try as he might to deny it, there was still something human left in Oswald.

When he clicked the door shut behind him, he stayed there a moment. He pulled off his red cloak, jacket, and cravat slowly, and threw them it onto a chair with a certain violence, tossing off his socks and not caring where they landed, before leaning his head back against the grain of the door.

Now, now that he was alone, out of the reach of those who programmed him, allowed to be flesh and blood, allowed to breathe again… every breath he should have been taking that day slammed into his lungs at once, tumbling one after another, punching, dragging their nails along the back of his throat as they climbed onto his tongue, then fell from his lips like blood.

He was not metal and mandates. Not here. Here he was…so very alive.

Oswald was becoming painfully aware of just how alive he was.

How many breaths had he taken in the last minute? Five? Twenty? Fifty? A hundred? A thousand? Stolen from the atmosphere. Stolen from…

Had he had this many breaths before? Had his life been composed of this much air? Every second, every minute, every hour. Every day, every week, every year. A chain of breaths, each one a reminder he was still alive, he was still him.

All he needed was one. All he would have ever needed to use was one.

One to speak her name.

One to tell her. To tell her how much she meant to him.

One breath

“You sin is…”

Two breaths.

“That you were born with these eyes of ill omen…”

Three.

“…and that you are a threat to the peace of the Abyss.”

Inhale

Your sin is…

Exhale.

Your very existence.

He put his face in his hand, his hair leaking between the cracks in his fingers.

All he needed was one.

But he could have used more. He could have taken five to say a sentence. Thirty to say a paragraph. He could have taken a couple hundred to make a speech or two. He had enough to spare. He could steal that many before getting caught.

Instead, they tuned his tongue into a weapon…and he let them.

All he needed was one. One to tell her.

To tell this girl that her smile was, at times, the only thing that kept him going. To tell this girl how much he appreciated how she spent her time baking for him, and sewing bunnies into her dresses. How much he loved those moments when he sat with this girl and watched the stars. How much he loved the lyrics she gave to his songs. How much he loved watching her run from her cage, and fate, and dance like she’d die tomorrow.

To tell this girl that her very existence was much more than a gift, rather at times the only thing that kept him alive, kept him sane, kept him him.

All he needed was one breath.

And he used his breath to tell her that her existence was a crime. To follow his program, the script set for him. Instead he chained this girl, wild and free, to the ground, and the ceiling. He used his breath to her to steal hers away.

In all those years he could have paid a single breath to make his thoughts reach her.

Right now he’d pay all of them.

He slid down the door till he was sitting on the ground.

“Say something. Do Something.”

He could have fought this. Long ago. He could have done something. Back then he could have said he didn’t want to be Glen after all. He could have run from the house with her and never come back. He could have run away all those years ago.

He could have run away yesterday.

Today he could have done something. He could have not stood before that door, and drank that blood. He could have said “I won’t be Glen. I’d rather she lived.” He could have stood up, the Jabberwocky’s blood in his veins, and said “No, no I won’t do it. I won’t kill her. I’m Glen now, and now I say she lives.”

And even if he had kicked and screamed, and lost all the same… he could have told her. Told her how much he cared. He would have at least had that.

It seemed so simple.

Thank you.

Thank you for your smile. You never knew how wonderful it could make someone feel.

Thank you for the cake. I hated the taste, but I loved the look on your face.

Thank you for the starlit evenings, and the lyrics I couldn’t come up with.

Thank you for the whimsy, and the adventures, and the messes.

Thank you for the music, and dances.

Thank you for…existing.

It wasn’t that hard to say.

So why had the words died every time they rose to the surface? Why had he let those breaths out instead of taming them into words?

“I love you.”

Three little words. One breath. Half a breath. Why had they seemed so big and unconquerable, and hard to get out all those years?

And he realized, that breath catching in his throat, that today, here, now, now that she was in the Abyss, now that she was gone, now that he’d never be able to say those things to her—

He had said the words aloud.

All those years, thinking and waiting and wondering, them simmering beneath the surface, never able to reach the air.

Now he had spoken them without even taking a second to consider them, the breath, the words, falling from his lips without him knowing, calculating, or thinking.

And once they spilled out, they started to simmer and burn on his tongue, they started to bubble, like all those breaths hitting him at once; all those years of silence, crying out;

“I love you.” He whispered into his fingers, like the words were the discordant notes to a broken music box, “I love you. I love you. I love you…Lacie…”

And with her name, the name of the girl with red eyes and an untamable heart, he felt something burn in his own eyes.

This wasn’t just some girl. This was Lacie. The one who sat with her brother and comforted him when he was sad, who joked with her brother, and dragged him outside, and made a beautiful mess of things. Not a child of ill omen. Not a distortion to be eradicated. Not a mess herself. This was his sister, who he loved.

It always felt like they were in different dimensions, but now they really were worlds apart, divided by time and space and—

This was his sister. Who didn’t deserve to die.

Glen was an impeccable leader. Glen didn’t hesitate to kill that which posed a threat. Glen wasn’t sad. Glen did what needed to be done, and it didn’t matter who she was.

But Oswald felt the drops against his skin, his hands unable to dam up the stream, the image of his sister hanging from the ceiling, and his own voice putting her there burning in his memory.

All Oswald wanted was to hear his sister’s feet patter up to him. All he wanted was to see his sister smile again. All he wanted was to eat his sister’s horrible cakes again. All he wanted was to sit and watch the stars with his sister, and come up with rhymes for words that have none. All he wanted was to clean up his sister’s messy room, and fix her ripped dresses. All he wanted was to be able to tell his sister off for running off on some adventure. All he wanted was to hear his sister sing, watch her dance, again. All he wanted was to feel his sister’s hands on his head, and her breathe into his hair sweet words about how she loved the world that hated her.

How she loved the brother that killed her.

He tried to let out this breath, but it would only come out in pieces, letters, words, now, always the same ones, the words, unsaid, that would forever haunt his lips;

“I love you, Lacie.”

[diigbydog]

you answered my riddle

Riddler (x Female!reader?) oneshot 

word count: 1842

A/N: hi guys! this is my first time writing ed, and first in a long time writing a fic, so i am looking forward to what you all think! i hope you all enjoy! it dosnt get very romantic but there is scenes of tension and implied interest! i may do a follow up if people want one!

It had been a normal day at the club. It was around 9pm on a friday night and the club was packed with patrons, tables were full and the dancefloor was lively. I had worked there for around 3 months now and every day was the same, different people but same routine. My colleagues are nice, and we tend to joke about particularly extravagant customers. The customers usually behaved themselves, even the criminal ones. A local band was playing on stage, they were better than most acts we've had in the past, But unfortunately they were interupted by 3 loud gunshots coming from backstage.

Suddenly, four armed men wearing masks charged onto stage pushing the performers onto the dancefloor  "Alright, everyone stay where you are! dont move!" one of them demanded as he pointed his gun to the ceiling and let off a few more warning shots. Their guns turned to the crowd of terrified gothamites. A chuckle could be heard, followed by "good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Im afraid tonights entertainment has been altered slightly!" I focused on the figure walking onto stage, it was a tall man in a stunning green suit and black bowler hat, the riddler, without a doubt. "- you're all going to be my entertainment now!" He chuckled into the microphone. I hadnt moved from the spot i was in when the first gunshot was fired. I couldnt seem to move yet my eyes were fixated on him. He continued to spew his selfcentered nonsense, carelessly waving around the pistol in his hand "now i dont want to hurt any of you lovely people, but im affraid unless the bar staff give me all of the cash out of the register, oh and answer my riddle, well you will all have to die, and we dont want that now, do we?"

I felt my heart beat faster as he jumped off the stage and started to carve a path through the crowd, directly towards me, one of his masked goons following close behind, empty  cloth bag in hand. As he got closer i slowly raised the empty tray, that i was holding, to my chest, clutching it with both hands. A smirk spread accross his face as he pointed the gun at me and purred "c'mon now dear. Dont keep me waiting." 

Nodding, i backed up towards the bar, placing the tray down next to the register. Riddler hopped up and sat on the countertop, speaking once again into the microphone as i opened the cash register and stepped aside to let the goon do his work. "Now whilst this lovely young lady is getting my money. Lets see if any of you can answer my riddle! Three tries to get it right! and if you dont?" Another gunshot into the ceiling. 

By this time it was just plain irritating, so i plucked up some courage and interupted before he sould announce his riddle "Y'know riddler if you wanna leave here alive you might want to stop shooting the bloody ceiling, it'll fall down before you've finished running your mouth" i instantly regreted speaking as his head spun violently to stare at me, a look of suprise on his face. I could see his teeth grinding, as if he wanted to say something horrible, but he just smiled sarcastically and muttered "thanks for the heads up, darling," 

  "now where was i, ah yes! my riddle!" he said, slowly turned his head back to the crowd "A most delicious thing, it can be given but cannot be kept. Some awake from it after they've slept. It is the moistest and softest butterfly wing, But when it is the last even it can sting." 

He looked at the faces of the crowd. Confused, fearful, and contemplating their careful answers, whispering between eachother. I watched as the masked man took out the last of the cash from the register. The riddle wouldnt stop repeating in my head. As I looked to the crowd to see if anyone had an answer, a man stood up and raised his hand. "You sir! What may your answer be! Remember, you all only get three tries!"

"Cake? The answer is cake." The man stuttered "its delicous and soft. But can be bitter if its a leaving present!" 

The riddlers face turned from an amused smirk to pure anger "NO!" He widely strode over to the man who had now fallen to his knees in fear "CAKE?! WHO WAKES UP DUE TO CAKE?!" I look away as he strikes the man over the head with the base of his gun, knocking him out.

Riddler brushed himself off, sighing in frustration, slowly striding back to the counter, making eyecontact with me. I felt deep down that i knew the answer, and i couldnt let these people die, i could wait until someone else goes to answer, but then if i was wrong i would have to watch him shoot up the building, atleast if i got this wrong he would knock me unconcious. so i timidly raised my hand. 

"so, you think you know the answer, 'ey?" He grinned as he leant over the counter, resting his hands under his chin. 

"Yes. I think i do." "Well then, please, " he continues to repeat his riddle once more, making sure to emphasise each word of importance. "what. am. i?" "a kiss. Thats my answer, a kiss" 

a long pause ensued as he turned round, straightening himself up and adjusting his hat. i felt as if i couldn't breath, i had no idea what would happen if i was wrong. then he spoke up.

"well, you are all safe, congratulations!" i let out a relieved sigh, i could breath again. Police sirens could start to be heard in the distance, riddler and his men start to head back to the stage "aaaand that is our call to go boys! I bid you all farewell! sorry for the inconvenience" And with that, riddler and his goons dissapeared backstage.

-1 week later-

Everything was back in order. The ceiling had been fixed and our doors were open once again. The only thing that was different was that the manager provided all employees with switchblades, for self defence of course. 

Today it was my job to clean out the storage room(aka the basement). we store everything down there, from non perishable food to extra seating, and it was my turn to organise it. "Now where to start" i muttered to myself, deciding after some contemplating to start with the largest items and making my way to the smaller ones. 

Around 2 hours into my mission, i heard the door to the basement creak open, i thought nothing of it as it was probably one of my co-workers looking for a new chair, it wasnt uncommon for a customer to request an extra one. But as the footsteps got closer i realised i didnt recognise the click of heels on the stone floor (no one i work with wears heels, were on our feet all day, why would we suffer through heels!) Fearing the worst i grabbed my blade out of my back pocket and turned round, pointing it at the unknown figure.

As i focused, i realised that edward nygma, the riddler, had returned once again. Although this time, instead of his dazzling green suit, he was sporting some matte black heeled dress shoes, fitting black trousers, a shirt with rolled up sleves and a form fitting waistcoat. Not to mention the extravigant black tie, deccorated with green question marks.

"Riddler" i shakily said, standing my ground as he walked towards me, stopping just infront of the blade i was holding . 

"Hello again-" he glanced down, his hands reaching up to gently prise the blade out of my hand, admitely i was not fighting back, i was far too intimidated to fight back. "Thats enough of that. Im not here to harm you, y'know" he said, in a somewhat comforting tone. I took one step back, distancing myself as he was admiring the blade "atleast your boss isnt cheap, this is a nicely made knife" he looked up at me "now, if i give you this back, you promise to calm down?" He softly asked, gently holding the now closed switchblade out to me. 

I hesitated, but nodded and accepted his offer, letting out a small sigh as i put the blade back into my pocket.  Riddler calmly sat down on a nearby chair, crossing his legs, making himself comfortable "Now, isnt that better" he smiled. I stay silent. "you can talk yknow, im not going to bite!" "I just still dont quite understand why you are here..." i paused, not knowing how to reffer to him "Please, call me edward" "right, edward, why come back alone?" "well, to see you of couse!" "but....why? that dosnt explain anything" "you answered my riddle, plus, ive been fascinated with you since you started working here." me? yes i have seen edward in our club with oswald cobblepot in the past, and i have served him but fascinated? "well...im flattered, i really am, but fascinated? how?"

"well ive never seen you loose your temper, even with oswald and his demands, its quite impressive" he explained, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees "i wandered if you would tell me more about yourself?" i smiled and blushed, slowly starting to get back to my work, talking as i go "im afraid there isnt much to tell, im not that interesting, deffinately not compared to you and your company" 

Ed pulled himself out of his chair to stand close besides me, handing me a fork to add to my pile "oh quite the contrary, anyone with saint's patience like you must have something interesting to tell" looking up into his eyes i saw the determination he had to make me talk, i knew we couldnt talk here, there was too much risk, considering the camera that was placed in the far corner of the room, currently not capturing eds presence. i turned my body to face him as i took the fork out of his hand, thumb slightly brushing his fingertips.

"well,ed, if you really want to know more, i think we should meet some other time, im sure you wouldnt want anyone knowing you were here, would we?" i said, gesturing over to the camera. 

His face dropped as he realised the risk "i suppose you are right, give me a time and place and i'll be there." 

"wow, you are determinded, aren't you? fine, meet me near the lake in the park, tomorrow at 7:30, deal?" i cannot belive i just suggested that. "we have a deal. i shall see you then" i cannot belive he just agreed to that. and with that, he skipped up the stairs, 2 steps at a time, stopping at the top to turn round, smirking at me once more before shutting the door behind him. 

Until then, Mr.nygma.

[hysterialevi]

Legend pt. 1

Author’s note: WELL, it’s been quite some time since I last wrote about Cobblebats (or a sane Bruce), but we’re finally back and I’m super excited to get started. Thank you so much for the support you gave me during Lotus; I really appreciate you guys staying around for all these stories, and I hope you’ll enjoy this one as much. Stay awesome.

From Oswald’s POV

21 YEARS AGO

COBBLEPOT PARK

The tall boy threw his fist across my face, landing a heavy blow on the bone as pain throbbed throughout my entire cheek. Regardless of how hard I tried to defend myself, or how hard I fought back, my opponent always seemed to be two steps ahead of me...and it was humiliating.

I instantly tumbled to the soaked ground due to the impact, causing the other kids around us to laugh as he taunted me with a sneer.

“What’s the matter, Cobblepot?” Joseph asked. “Can’t go crying to your mom now that she’s in Arkham? I’m not surprised, to be honest. Everyone knows your family’s full of fuckin’ lunatics,” he threw another punch at me, grinning deviously. “Looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

I would’ve been lying if I said Joseph didn’t just strike a nerve, but I knew that was his intention. I knew that was what he wanted.

Joseph was always targeting me -- whether it was at school, at the park, or even on my own goddamned doorstep -- and he used me as a way to make himself feel better. It was straight up torture to put up with him.

But no matter what, I had to remember what Bruce told me. I couldn’t let it get to me. I couldn’t allow him to keep hurting me. I had to stand up to him.

Spitting blood onto the mud below, I slowly pushed myself up, my limbs quivering with strain as I tried to rise to my feet.

“Oh no, no...” Joseph said in a condescending manner. “I don’t think so.”

With a simple, strong kick, he aggressively jabbed the tip of his shoe into my stomach and sent me staggering into the dirt once again as I coughed heavily, struggling to catch my breath.

“Well, go on, then,” he teased as he watched me roll around. “Get up, Oz. If you’re so damn tough.”

Another kick. To ensure I’d stay down. I felt like I was going to be sick now. 

“Look at you!” The bully jeered obnoxiously. “You’re so weak it’s embarrassing. Nothing but a little bitch with a boozed-up dad. Isn’t that right, Oz?” 

He crouched down to my level and leaned in, smirking arrogantly as he gripped the back of my collar.

“You’re a bitch,” he growled. “You hear that? My bitch. And if you ever try to forget it, I’ll come back and remind you. Maybe I’ll bring some friends along, too. Depends on how you behave. So stay in your place, and be a good boy. All right?”

I glared at the bully, staring him straight in the eye with a glower as I wiped the blood from my mouth.

“...Fuck you, Joseph.”

He chuckled, clearly annoyed by my response. “Oh, yeah?”

Joseph flipped me over and took a handful of my shirt, pinning me down as he slammed his fist directly into my nose with a sickening crack.

I let out an agonized shout and fell limp on the ground, completely drained of all energy as hot blood streamed down my face.

“How’s that?” He goaded. “Teach you to be a smartass.”

Turning to his friends, Joseph gestured them to leave and began to saunter away from the scene, glancing back at me with a snicker.

“C’mon,” he beckoned. “Let’s get outta here. I think this shithead’s learned his lesson for now. But we’ll be back.”

Leaving me alone in the ruffled, flattened grass, Joseph casually strolled off as if nothing happened while I clutched my wounded nose, writhing in the mud out of discomfort.

Why was it always me? I thought to myself. Why couldn’t I just be left alone?

My entire family was falling apart as if we had suddenly been forgotten, and these days, the name “Cobblepot” was nothing but a joke in Gotham. No one took our family as seriously as they used to, and even less wanted to be associated with us. Instead, everyone in my school just acted like my we didn’t even exist anymore. 

Everyone...except for Bruce. He was the only one I could count on.

Bruce would protect me from Joseph and any other bullies, keep me company when my parents were absent, and stay in touch even though the rest of the school ridiculed me. He didn’t care what other people thought about our friendship, or about the rumors circling around. 

We had a close bond between us, and that was all that mattered to him. Bruce refused to let my dad’s reputation alone destroy everything we had.

...And that was why I loved him.

Maybe not in the same way most people used that word, but there was definitely a deeper connection holding us together than just a mere “friendship.”

We were family. And I hoped we would stay that way forever.

Interrupting my thoughts, a boy suddenly called out to me from a distance -- as if on queue -- and made me forget all my troubles for a moment as I turned to see who it was.

“...Oz?” He asked. “Is that you?”

Not too far away from my location, I saw none other than Bruce himself entering the park as he greeted me from the other side of the gate, softly tapping his umbrella on the metal to get my attention.

“Bruce!” I exclaimed out of relief, my voice slightly trembling. “There you are. I...I’m glad you’re here.”

My friend took a closer look at me, clearly shocked by the fresh wounds on my face.

“Jesus -- what on Earth happened to you, Oz?” He leaned in, taking on a more serious tone. “...Did Joseph come after you again?”

I nodded silently, trying to pretend as if it didn’t bother me that much.

Bruce let out a sympathetic sigh, lightly gripping onto one of the gate’s bars.

“I’m sorry, Oz. I wish I could’ve gotten here sooner. You don’t deserve to be treated this way, and I don’t know what else I can do to help. There’s only so much that’ll keep Joseph away.”

“It’s all right...” I reassured quietly, “the fact that you’re here is enough. And besides, this is my fight to finish. Not yours. I swear, Bruce, I’m gonna smash Joseph’s damn face in someday. And then he’ll regret everything he’s done to me.”

Bruce seemed slightly alarmed by that. 

“The worst thing you can do is become him, Oz,” he reminded. “Joseph goes around and preys on anyone who’s smaller than him. He drags them down to his level. You’re better than that. Never forget it...okay?” 

“...Okay, okay.” I reluctantly agreed, waving a dismissive hand. “You’re right.”

“’Course I am,” Bruce joked, changing the subject. “Anyway, you need to get up now.”

I quirked a brow. “What d’you mean?”

He tapped his umbrella on the gate again.

“You need to get up.” He said a second time, without explanation.

BLACKGATE PRISON

MODERN DAY, NIGHTTIME

“...Get up, Cobblepot!”

A loud, metallic cling echoed throughout the cell, causing me to jolt awake. I lay still for a moment, confused at what was going on.

“C’mon, prisoner!” The guard repeated, his voice growing increasingly agitated as he banged his baton against the bars. “I won’t say it again.”

I sluggishly rose from the bed and stretched my arms, rubbing my eyes as a fatigued yawn escaped me. 

I glared at the guard with a squinted gaze, blinded by their flashlight. 

“Fuck’s sake...” I mumbled out, “...what is it? The sun ain’t even up yet. ...Or were you just gettin’ lonely?”

The guard scoffed at that and roughly slid the door open, beckoning me. 

“And the other guards said you were charming.”

Tearing myself away from the comfort of the bed, I sauntered over to him with a loose posture as I gave him a lazy frown.

“I’m much more of a gentleman when it’s not four in the morning. What's goin’ on?”

Shoving me forward, the guard began to explain things along the way as other prisoners eyeballed us from their own cells, curious about what we were doing. Despite it being the middle of the night, not many of the inmates actually appeared to be asleep.

“You’ve got a visitor.” He said plainly.

“A visitor?” I questioned, surprised by the answer. “At this time? What do they want?”

The guard pushed me around a corner.

“You can ask them yourself when we get there. Now be quiet.”

“All right, all right...” I chuckled. “I’m just curious, is all. Not really many folks in Gotham who’d like to pay me a visit.”

The guard’s brow furrowed. “I’m starting to see why.”

“Cranky, aren’t we?” I remarked. “You sure another guard didn’t lose their baton up your arse?”

“I mean it, prisoner,” he warned. “Be quiet.”

I sighed out of annoyance. “Fine...have it your way. Just tryin’ to make conversation.”

The guard led me down a spiral staircase, taking me to the first floor as we headed for the visiting room.

“Oh, trust me,” he replied, “there’ll be plenty of time for that later.”

VISITING ROOM

Wandering into the empty space, the guard stayed behind as I approached my guest who was sitting alone at one of the tables with nothing but a pair of files in front of them. They looked like a relatively young man -- probably around the same age as me -- and wore a neat suit along with a device in their ear. 

I didn’t recognize his face, and I certainly hadn’t been expecting anyone, but clearly, this man wasn’t just some random nobody. The prison guards would’ve never let him in during this hour, otherwise. So who was he?

As curious as I was to see what this stranger wanted however, the secrecy of this arrangement also had me on high-alert. I had to be careful.

“Erm...” I cleared my throat, “...hello?”

The man turned to look at me. “Ah, there you are,” he casually gestured at the chair across from him. “Please, have a seat. There’s much we need to discuss.”

Despite my hesitance, I complied nonetheless and decided to play along with the man for now, admittedly hooked with interest.

“Mind tellin’ me your name, first?” I asked. 

The man refused. 

“Who I am is of no importance. All you need to know...is who I represent.”

“And that would be...?”

He rested his elbows on the table, looking me straight in the eye. “The Agency. Or, more specifically, the director of the Agency. Amanda Waller.”

I furrowed my brows. “The Agency? What do they want with me?”

The man slid one of the files in my direction, urging me to open it.

“A profile of Bruce Wayne,” he explained as I flipped through it. “I understand you know him well.”

“...Yeah,” I confirmed in a somewhat regretful tone. “We was close as kids. Inseparable. Thought we’d stay that way, too.”

“And now?”

I shut the file closed, not wanting to look at Bruce anymore. He and I already had enough bad memories together. I didn’t need to think about them any further.

“Now...” I continued, “we’re like strangers. Everything I thought I knew about Wayne turned out to be a lie. In the end, he was just as bad as his father.”

The man seemed unconvinced. “Oh, I’m sure you know him better than you think.”

Switching out the files, he gestured for me to read through the second one as  he observed my every move, obviously scheming something that he had yet to expose.

“It’s Batman.” I said, scanning over the first page.

“You’re familiar with him, too, aren’t you?”

I laughed at the understatement. “Familiar? I almost killed the bastard. Almost. Other than that, there ain’t much to say about the vigilante. He’s not exactly an open book. ...Why? What does Waller want with these people?”

Retrieving the file, the agent stacked them together in a neat pile and put them aside for the moment, getting right to the point. There was a certain look in his eyes that unsettled me. A look that said he knew something I didn’t. Half of me wanted to hear what it was, but the other half dreaded the forbidden information. After all, there was a reason people had secrets.

“Tonight,” he began, “I’ve presented you with the profiles of two very prominent citizens in Gotham. However...we have only discussed one person.”

I sat there in silence, trying to process what the agent just told me. 

“...Wait, what are you...” 

He appeared amused by my shock. 

“I understand it’s hard to comprehend. It wasn’t too long ago that I was in the same position as you.”

I combed a hand through my hair and shook my head, still in disbelief.

“No, no, no. That can’t be right. They’re nothing alike! Bruce Wayne is just some playboy billionaire who got rich off his father’s crimes, and Batman is...well, Batman. He fights criminals, fights for ‘justice.’ Something Wayne knows nothing about. And you’re tellin’ me...they’re the same person?”

He nodded firmly. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

I let out an overwhelmed sigh, suddenly feeling the need to go back to sleep.

“...And why tell me all this? Why give me this kind of info? This isn’t something you’d just reveal to anyone -- if what you’re sayin’ is true.”

The agent pushed the files towards me. “Because Director Waller has a job for you. See, the Agency has been watching your moves for quite some time now, Oswald. We know about everything you’ve done -- from your blackmailing Hamilton Hill...to the disfiguring of Harvey Dent. There’s not a thing on your record we aren’t aware of. Though, Waller believes we can add to that list.”

I decided to hear him out. “Oh yeah? How so?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard of John Doe by now. Or ‘the Joker,’ if you prefer. He’s proven to be a menace these past few weeks, and the Agency is doing everything they can to detain him. Unfortunately, there’s just one problem.”

“Let me guess,” I said sarcastically, “it's Wayne?”

“Yes,” the agent replied, “but not in the way you’re thinking. Wayne is protecting John Doe. Hiding him. For whatever reason, he absolutely refuses to hand the man over to us...and you know how hard Batman fights. He’s caused more than a handful of troubles for Waller. Not to mention Gotham.”

“And how do I fit in all this?”

The man lowered his voice slightly, giving me an emotionless expression.

“You...are going to kill Bruce Wayne.”

I blinked a few times, bewildered by the response.

“...I’m sorry, you want me to assassinate Batman?”

The agent chuckled. “Don’t sound so modest. Waller thinks you’re capable, and she’s not easily impressed. Besides, you said it yourself. You almost killed him once before. Our organization sees you as our last chance of getting Batman out of the way, and locking John Doe up for good. We need your help.”

I rubbed my chin out of thought. “I see. And what if I say no?”

He persisted. “You don’t have a choice.”

I shrugged. “Pfft, guess I should’ve seen that coming. ...All right. I’ll do it. Ain’t like I’ve got other things to fill up my schedule. Very well. Where d’you want me to start?”

“Try distracting Batman,” he recommended. “If you can get his attention away from Doe for long enough, it’ll give us a window to act. But you have to be discreet. Understand? We don’t want Batman to know we’ve sent an assassin after him just yet.”

I nodded. “Leave it to me.”

The agent rose from his chair and straightened his suit, preparing to leave as dawn crept over the horizon.

“Very good,” he said, sounding pleased for the first time. “The Agency looks forward to working with you, Oswald. Don’t disappoint us...but I’m sure a man of your talents doesn’t need to worry about that. I’ll see you again soon.”

Just before he left, the agent looked back at me to say one last thing.

“Oh, and I’d pack your things if I were you. This is the final night you’ll be spending in Blackgate, after all. So, savor the moment. While you still can.”

I laughed. “On the contrary, I’ve been wanting to leave ever since the day I arrived. The Agency can’t get me out of here fast enough.”

The man smiled subtly, disappearing into the night’s darkness as he waved a short goodbye.

“We already have.”

[justgotham]

Robin Lord Taylor, the third actor to play famous Batman villain The Penguin, talks to us about finding his confidence as an artist, his creative family in Gotham, his independent film work out of it, plus waddling in the footsteps of Burgess Meredith and Danny DeVito.

It's the first morning of this year's Heroes & Villains Fan Fest at Olympia London, and with press access I am able to take in the calm before the impending storm. Not the storm that will rock the city later that evening, but the imminent opening of the floodgates through which thousands of genre TV fans will pour.

Fans that have been drawn, in no small part, to the attendance of Robin Lord Taylor, who stars as The Penguin, aka Oswald Cobblepot, in TV hit Gotham. The character is one of Batman's most iconic enemies, played previously as a sneering caricature by Burgess Meredith in the 60s BatmanTV show, then physically grotesque and almost inhuman by Danny DeVito in 1992's Batman Returns. It is Taylor's very human and nuanced portrayal of the character that has seen him become one of the series most stand out turns.

As such, crowds lined up early to meet the star, many dressed up in full Oswald regalia and some of whom he has time to greet before he's torn away to chat to me (sorry everyone). He arrives in the press room buoyed by the morning's reception and I ask what it was like landing the role of such a well-known character.

"The role of "The Penguin" has just been such an amazing experience in so many ways, but mostly because the range of emotion that he goes through, it's the entire spectrum. I just feel confident now and not afraid. I feel like the best work I've ever done is coming up. It's really exciting. From the way they had already cast Gotham, I just knew it would always be me [chuckles]. I've never really felt that way at auditions, but I knew after the Gotham audition, I was like, "I think it's mine." [chuckles]. I had that feeling. Then talking to the executive producers, they were like, "The second you walked in the room, we were like, 'It's you'. It's incredible." My life has changed completely."

Far from a mere foil to pit against Gotham's caped crusader - albeit a teenage one - this Penguin, like many of the villains in the show, is often seen to be a victim of tragedy and injustice that goes on to form the famous alter-ego. One story-line in particular [SPOILER ALERT}, involving an unrequited love between Penguin and The Riddler, confirmed the shows willingness to give these characters a unique, fresh and modern take. Is this something he knew was planned from the beginning?

"I had no idea, I really didn't know. I don't know if they knew. I feel so fortunate in so many ways. Bringing the human experience to these larger than life characters has just been incredible. To find that common thread in these characters that have been around for 70-80 years, it's just been so great. Again, to be able to show certain aspects to these characters that people haven't really seen or thought about before has been probably my favourite thing about the experience. When you're an actor, that's the good stuff. I'm only the third "Penguin" on screen, which is great because I don't have the pressure of trying to live up to anything that's happened before. Not just that I'm the third one, it's such a departure from what Danny DeVito did, and then also what Burgess Meredith did, and so, I don't feel like I have to live up to what they did. Those guys are geniuses. That was nice and not having that pressure was great. Also, just to be one of the first major villains that launched from the pilot episode is just an amazing feeling. I'm just so grateful to be able to colour with all the crayons in the crayon box.

There is a pitch perfect cast that makes up the entire roster of Gotham's main characters, each bringing their own uniqueness to some well-worn roles. One of those is Ben Mackenzie, playing James Gordon, who has also directed episodes of the show. Taylor has nothing but good things to say about his experience of a cast-mate slipping into the director's chair.

"It was fantastic. Again, because he's an actor, he's so much more direct with us in a way. It's so much easier for him to get the kind of performance that he wants out of us because he knows us all so well. We're like a family. We all love each other. To have him behind the camera, he'd give this look at me and say maybe two words and I know exactly where he's going and what he wants. It's a really fantastic experience. [With guest directors] the great thing is that they really encourage us to make these characters ours and to just own it. Also, because I've been playing the character and it's been 88 episodes now or something, every once in a while, as the years go along, there'll be something in a scene and I'll have to remind the director, "Two years ago in season two, I did this thing, so that's not going to work because of that." I'm able to remind everybody where the character has been and all of the directors have come through really appreciate that. Because again, I know it better than anyone else does in some ways."

Where that familiarity with his role and working with the team on Gotham gets tested, is during the hiatus between series when Taylor has had the opportunity to sign on to independent feature film projects.

"It's daunting at first, but then at the same time I really look forward to any sort of opportunity to play a different character. I get afraid sometimes that I'll lose my job. "Oh, my God. Am I only ever going to do this? Do I know how to get through this?" Then going to these other films, especially because they're low budget, it just feels very creatively fulfilling in so many ways. I've been really lucky in the sense that I've been able to nail down a couple of independent features over the hiatus, which was really nice. I love it so much because it's the antithesis of Gotham. Gotham is a machine in the best way, but it's like multi-cameras, and it's very specific about the angles and the lighting, and everything is just super-designed to the moment. To be able to go on to an independent set where things are more freeing and open, it's amazing."

There are three films that look to all be approaching completion around the same time. Those are The Long Home, Full-Dress and The Mandela Effect.

"I did The Long Home first and that was directed by James Franco. We shot in Ohio, and it was a really, really crazy set. I really had no idea what to expect when I walked on to that set. At one point, I didn't even know where the camera was. He kept a very free-flowing, open environment on that set, which was, again, fun because it was so much different from Gotham.

After that was Full-Dress, which was an amazing experience because the director really attempted to shoot without any cuts so that it feels like a continual moment, which was really exciting because, again, it's so different from Gotham and it feels like a play in a way. We would do these scenes that just flow into one another, and so, you're doing the entire scene in one take without any coverage. It was a really fascinating experience because it's almost like choreography because as we talked, the camera had to find us, but we also had to find the camera, [all with] zero time and zero money. Everywhere we shot was basically a favor [chuckles]. It was really an amazing experience. I just talked to the director, Carlos Puga, and he says it's wrapping up, so it's almost out which is really fun and exciting.

Then, The Mandela Effect was directed and written by my good friend, David Guy Levy, who directed another independent film that I did some years ago called Would You Rather. It's a horror film. He wrote this. My other friend, Charlie Hofheimer, who is also the lead, was also in Would You Rather, so it was like coming-back-together-with-family moment."

One of the best things about these projects for Taylor is not always having to audition, and instead receiving straight offers. It's a testament to his work on Gotham and having the opportunity to display such a dynamic range, that these projects are now coming to him. But what about his own projects? In another interview earlier this year he talked about his desire to move in to producing. He already has a project in mind and credits his experience on Gotham for instilling in him the confidence to take it on.

"I'm working on producing. My sister is a novelist and I'm adapting one of her novels for screen. It's been with my good friend, Ashley Hudson, who I met through Gotham, actually. It's really exciting. I never thought of it as a possibility. Now and again, I just see all these opportunities now that I just want to take advantage of. It really is just confidence. It's just like being able to walk into a room and know that I belong there, and I deserve to be heard, and I have a voice. I have my own agency now. I found it within myself and that's been the best lesson ever. We're so fortunate with Gotham in the sense that the cast just really feels like a family. Going forward, I know that that's the vibe that I want to recreate on the set. I want to have that feeling where even though, for Gotham, it's a multi-million dollar budget thing, superheroes and stuff, but at the end of the day, it feels like a community theater [chuckles]. It still feels like we're a bunch of people coming together to play. I think that's why the show is just so vibrant and beautiful."

And with that, our whirlwind 13-minutes is up. He returns to the waiting fans at his table eager to meet the man who really has made the Penguin fly.

[anyakane]

What are your favorite otome games? Who are your favorite otome bachelors?

My favourites are:

SLBP - My first otome, and basically my introduction to otome. Luckily started like a month after it’s release so I got to play from the very first event.

Shall We Date? Lost Alice - pretty art, great MC, respectful love interests, imaginative universe. There’s a lot to like here. Played it shortly after it’s release.

Shall We Date? Modern Cinderella - started this on the day of it’s release right up until it stopped having events. It’s also the one that made me take the other SWD games more seriously, mostly bc by this time I had a better phone to play otome on. I miss this game a lot and I’m still sad they cancelled it.

These are the ones I would say are my favourites, tho I like all the otome I play pretty equally. I also play all the other currently running SWD games besides Love Tangle (even the recently cancelled ones, up until cancellation), SSS and Wicked Wolves, Ikemen Revolution. I’ve played Liar, Be My Princess Party, and Sleepless Cinderella Party as well. As you can probably tell I’m mostly a social otome player, tho I’ve also bought routes in Love365.

And now my favourites, the ones I have Feelings for anyway.

Under the cut because it got LONG

(This might get spoilery.)

MITSUHIDE (SLBP): Light of MY LIFE, Lord of MY HEART. My first otome man ever. I chose him because he seemed kind in the prologue, and also his looks lol. As I was reading, I thought his route was alright, but then plot started building up (keep in mind, this is my first otome route ever so I had nothing to compare it to) and the Scene were he disobeyed Nobunaga to rescue MC from the temple happened. That’s the Scene that sold my soul to the game and forever cemented Mitsuhide’s place in my heart. And then it just grew as I read his events and epilogues.

IEYASU (SLBP): I didn’t expect to love him as much as I do now. I actually had mixed feelings about playing his route, since he was cruel from the get go. Then I read his route. For a lot of people, the scene that got people to like/understand him more was Crossroads: Metamorphosis and yes that is a very important turning point in their relationship. But for me, it started there, then built up in the following chapters (i.e the date in town and the almost kiss and Nobunaga’s tournament) before finally culminating in the confession scene and kiss. That’s the point where I really fell for him as a love interest and supported their relationship. It helps that it’s a good route in general.

ROBERT MOORE (Modern Cinderella): his relationship with MC is so!! good!!! Like. They help each other grow and develop with their job. And when he confessed his feelings all of a sudden, they went and had a proper discussion about how they would like their relationship to proceed. It really felt like they were two working adults figuring out a relationship together.

Joshua Lieben (BMPP): what I really liked about him in his route is that even though they were only fake engaged, he still took it seriously and tried to be a proper husband/fiance for MC. I liked his earnestness and their date in town was really what cemented it for me. I’m still a little sad I never got to play BMPP in its heyday.

My other favourites are

Mitsunari (SLBP): he’s cute once he figured out MC. I really like their development throughout the events.

Kotato (SLBP): I LOVED his Moments Stolen in Shadow event and epilogue. His epilogue is probably the one I’ve reread the most.

Spade (Blood in Roses): the lengths he would go through just for MC is astounding. I liked his loyalty and determination.

Alfred (Blood in Roses): it’s clear how much he cares for Rosapast and there’s a cute side to him as well, and he’s quite sweet once they have established their feelings for one another

Gerard (Blood in Roses): this was a good route and I liked how he treated MC as an equal from the beginning

Luke Estheim (Lost Alice): pretty much the same reasons as Spade.

Sidd Rex (Lost Alice): I remember liking him and his route when I read it… I gotta read it again

Jacob Taylor (Modern Cinderella): I liked his route

Sirius Oswald (Ikemen Revolution): I was interested in him on principle since he’s pretty much my type and his route is good too so I quite like him. Give me a few more events and he’ll probably shoot right up to absolute fave status

Elias Goldstein (Wizardess Heart): MC was awesome in this route and it was nice seeing them grow and learn to trust in each other.

Toma and Kokonoe (SSS): they’re pretty much my type lol

Toma Kiriya (Irresistible Mistakes): I liked the dynamic between him and MC

George Lestrade (Guard Me, Sherlock): Given the format of the route, it really didn’t do him justice, but I like him more than the others I’ve read so far. A down-to-earth kinda love interest.

Kikuchi Sousuke (Finally in Love Again): he’s a sweetheart and loyal to boot.

I wonder if it’s clear that I have a type lol. I usually tend to go for those who are kind, workaholic, or tsundere, or some combination of all three. Ofc this list is only based on the routes I’ve played. There are some I haven’t played as well so who knows I might find another favourite among them.

I find that choosing the right “first route” in an otome game is important in getting me to like a particular otome since it’s pretty much the first impression I get. At the very least, I have to not dislike the route. I think I got lucky that I chose Mitsuhide for my route route in SLBP. I’m not sure I would have gotten so into SLBP if I chose anyone else. (Inuchiyo was my second route and it was… hard to read. I’m not a fan. Luckily SLBP started running events at that time so I kept on playing.)

Ahh this got way too long and rambly. If you play/like any of these games, great! Please talk to me about them! Especially the Shall We Date games. I like them a lot but it seems only Wizardess Heart has something of a fandom on Tumblr. The other SWD games deserve love too.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!

[noahsflynn-archive]

Liza and Isabella: a Good Plot Device vs a Bad Plot Device

Right off the bat, I have to say that this my opinion and how I interpret the show. Also, I love both of these characters, but Liza is my favourite female character in Gotham so how I perceive her (and her story) may be different to how other fans, especially those who don’t like her or are indifferent to her, might perceive it.

Now, the definition of a plot device is: “A plot device is an object or character in the story whose purpose is purely to drive the Plot, maintain its flow, or resolve situations within it.” Both Liza and Isabella are plot devices but they are done so differently. Now, I’m not saying Liza is the best example of a good plot device but her small comparability to Isabella makes these the two perfect characters to use.

Also, I perhaps could have compared a little deeper, and there are some comparisons in which I might seem a little harsh but this already reached a length I didn’t expect so some things aren’t that deep.

Let’s start with Liza.

Note: Some points in this section will be revisted in the Isabella section and touched on even more.

Liza is an example of a good plot device, mostly because it’s easy to forget that that’s what she is. She only appears in Gotham for 7 episodes and her time ends with her death. Liza is brought into the story as a way for Fish to get to Falcone and take over as the ruler of Gotham, by the time we reach episode 12 of season 1, Liza becomes a way for Falcone to assert his power and show that crossing him is only faced with horrible consequences.

She has no other reason for being in Gotham other than to move the current storyline forward (crime boss vs crime boss). Liza plays a part in everyone else’s story, she doesn’t have her own, and because of reasons outlined throughout her time on the show, she has no way of being able to gain her own storyline later on.

Let’s break that down slightly. We already mentioned that she is a device in Fish’s story to allow her to take down Falcone, she becomes a device in Falcone’s story to prove his power, she becomes a part of Oswald’s story by being a pawn for him to play in his overall scheme to take over as King of Gotham. Those are really the only characters she has any significant interaction with. The only potential she has for her own storyline was when she started to like Falcone and didn’t want him to get hurt, and later when he tells her she should leave and settle down, even offering to buy her her own business as a gift. However, because this is Gotham (a show/world where bad things happen more often than not) and because she’s brought in purely to be a small cog in a bigger machine, we know we’re never going to see that happy ending that’s hinted at.

So what makes her a good plot device? Well, as I said before, it’s easy to forget that that’s what she is, or at the very least, you don’t care that that’s all she is. From that first scene where she auditions for Fish in season 1 episode 4, we find out a lot about her and can guess a lot too. Liza appears a little shy and/or nervous while on stage but is later shown to be more than that when she seduces Fish. We also know, from a scene later on in the episode, that she is capable of holding her own in a fight. There’s an indication that she doesn’t have a lot and she’s from a part of Gotham that isn’t necessarily poor but isn’t exactly well off either. This is actually framed even more when we see her at the end of episode 5 and she’s been completely transformed. Some other things we learn or can assume about Liza throughout her time on the show is: she has a talent (singing), she wants to be respected, she’s a little naive at times, she’s caring, etc.

Now, even though we mentioned that it was clear she wasn’t going to get her happy ending, there’s still enough room to believe that she could have had it. It’s not so outlandish to think that she could have gone to Falcone before episode 12 and told him the truth and, upon seeing that she did it because she truly has become loyal to him, he doesn’t kill her. You could even go so far as to believe that Falcone might keep her safe from Fish’s retaliation. Liza doesn’t even have to switch sides to have a potential happy ending, Fish’s plan just has to work. There is so much evidence and possibility that Liza could have a good life and develop into a character with her own purpose and story, but due to various moments, we know that that is not going to happen. That’s not to say her death is necessarily predictable but we know it’s not going to end well.

Liza grows a lot over episodes 4 and 5 (especially the latter), and we get to know her a little in the rest of her time on the show. It gets to the point where the idea of Liza being in Gotham for more than her 7 episode run is appealing because you grow to like the character and see her potential.

What about Isabella?

It’s not as if she isn’t likable or enjoyable, but let’s do some quick comparisons. Firstly, Isabella was only in 3 episodes. It’s 4 if you count the episode with her corpse, and 9 if you count the ones she’s mentioned in, but we’re not counting those because really they don’t add anything to her as a character. So that’s 3 episodes compared to Liza’s 7. Isabella interacts with two characters (Oswald and Ed) whereas Liza interacts, in large, with 3 characters (Fish, Falcone, and Oswald), but we see her interact with, be in the same space as, or be noticed by other characters (Harvey, Butch, Zsasz, Barbara, etc).

Isabella is confined to only interacting with Oswald and Ed. Sure, Gabe knows about her but only so he can cut her breaks, and later Barbara, Butch, and Tabitha become aware, but those are after she’s already dead. Plus, they never interact with each other. Sure, Harvey only sees Liza as she’s leaving the club, but we can assume that she and Butch interacted considering they both work for Fish, she actually speaks to Zsasz (even if it’s just one line in 1x07), and Barbara has seemingly been sat at the kitchen counter (again, in 1x07) for a while so it’s not outlandish to assume that they spoke or at least looked at each other. At the very least they were mutually aware of each other’s existence whereas Isabella wasn’t aware of the existence of Gabe, Barbara, Tabitha, or Butch.

There’s also no potential for Isabella to gain her own purpose and/or story, and we don’t learn much about her, and what we do learn is honestly quite flat. Let’s look at what we know about her. She looks like Kristen Kringle but has nothing to do with her (we’ll talk more about that later), she’s a librarian, loves books, presumably drinks wine, she’s smart, likes riddles, has a determined nature, and is a hopeless romantic. As for her lack of potential, other than heading to a librarian’s conference, there’s no indication that she’s moving towards anything. Her entire existence in the show is set around being Ed’s girlfriend and eventually driving a wedge between him and Oswald. The fact that we’re given no indication, other than living happily ever after with Ed, of where she’s going within the story, we know that she’s not going to last long.

Now granted, this isn’t one hundred percent clear until her death, and this is where looking like Kristen Kringle comes into play. Other than to grab Ed’s attention and to make him fall in love with her quicker, we’re just supposed to believe that this a coincidence. In a time of Gotham where we’ve seen people come back from the dead, clones, and the existence of those like Clayface, it baffles me (and many others) that there wouldn’t be more to her. Things would be slightly different if they didn’t acknowledge the fact that Isabella and Kristen look the same. There are various examples throughout television where an actor has portrayed different characters in different episodes and it’s simply not mentioned, other characters pretend like they look nothing alike, but by bringing up the similarity in Gotham it just invites in the need for answers. Especially with her sudden appearance. Liza came in at a time where tensions were high and Fish was sick of following Falcone’s orders, although we don’t know for sure what’s in store for her in episode 4 and most of episode 5, she isn’t just suddenly introduced. Whereas Isabella comes out of nowhere.

And please note, promo photos and other outside evidence doesn’t count. I’m talking purely within the show itself. Isabella was supposed to have a shock introduction, for Ed and for us the audience, however, that shock factor is based around the fact she looks like Kristen, which adds to the fact that there should have been a bigger explanation for her.

Really, not acknowledging the fact she looks like Kristen might not have worked anyway because Kristen was in a reasonable amount of episodes (14) and we got to know here so it might have been too strange to watch her interact with characters and no one mentions Kristen. So really, it does come down to building her character more.

Really one the most frustrating thing about acknowledging the fact that she looks like Kristen is that Liza looked like Falcone’s mother but it’s not as much of a big deal. Although it’s a little silly that this random girl who auditioned just happened to be the spitting image of Falcone’s mother, it’s less invasive. Other than a black and white flashback we know nothing about his mother whereas we know quite a lot about Kristen. Looking like her mixed with lack of character detail makes Isabella more frustrating whereas Liza looking exactly Falcone’s mother is almost forgettable, in fact, I’ve spoken to people who did forget that factor.

With Isabella you want her to be in more episodes but the primary reason for this is the fact that you have to suspend your belief and are given no real, satisfactory answers to her character. It’s not hard to like Isabella but a lot of potential for growth is based on finding an explanation as to why she looks exactly like Kristen Kringle. You need to get that out of the way before you can move forward, or at least know that whatever journey she goes on is going to lead to answers for her appearance.

Wanting to see her because she could be an interesting character or with some rewriting of her episodes, could have the potential for more later on, is all overshadowed by needing answers. She can only truly get her own story and/or potential once we, the audience, know where she came from, or her appearance is acknowledged beyond the fact that it’s kind of creepy or one of the few reasons she and Ed could be a good match.

Back to Good Plot Device vs Bad Plot Device (aka time for some sort of conclusion to this).

One of the more frustrating things about this comparison is how similar these two characters are (or could have been), and how one was created so well while the other lacked a lot.

Both were brought in to get close to someone, the difference is Liza was made to get close to Falcone by Fish, it’s all within the story. Whereas Isabella was made to get close to Ed purely by the writers, and as I’ve mentioned before, the initial attraction is down to her appearance. Sure, the riddle plays a factor, but she’s clearly only written to love and/or know riddles in order to keep Ed’s interest. She is so stereotypically the kind of woman that Ed would be attracted to and it’s all wrapped up in the fact that she looks like a woman he once loved. It just screams that the writers put little to no effort in, and did the bare minimum to allow them to bring her in as a plot device to move the story forward and create a reason for Oswald and Ed to turn against each other (which later grows into more storylines).

The worst part is that there is enough baseline here to expand and create a well-developed character who might still be used to drive Oswald and Ed apart but also has some possibility of going off on her own or being a bigger part, even if it never comes true.

Liza was a device to further the Fish vs Falcone story but that was already in play before Liza came into the picture. We know as early as episode 2 (season 1) that Fish plans to move against Falcone, Liza is then brought in in episode 4 as a part of that.

It’s so easy to look at Liza and everything we see, and know she’s a plot device but as I said earlier, it’s easy to forget this fact and see beyond it, even if only for a brief time. Whereas Isabella, on the other hand, comes in at a point where things are seemingly going well with Ed and Oswald. There’s no prediction that things are going to go wrong before she’s introduced. At the end of season 3 episode 6 we only see her briefly, almost straight away in season 3 episode 7, we’re introduced to her reasoning for being there. We do find out some things about her on those steps with Ed, but they’re almost rushed and contain nothing of major interest. It’s soon becomes apparent that Ed has neglected Oswald by not showing up to their dinner thus telling us that Isabella is going to be used to drive a wedge between the two men. We don’t know how at this point, but the problem comes from the fact that there was no prior knowledge that things were going to go badly between them before this point.

That doesn’t necessarily equal a bad plot device, but coupled with the unanswered question of how/why she looks like Kristen Kringle (beyond allowing the writers to let Ed fall in love with her quickly), and the fact that there’s not really a lot to work with on where she could go beyond her current storyline, she really does scream “plot device.”

Liza feels like a character who fits in rather organically and could be seen as her own character outside of the ones whose story she is pushing forward (Fish, Falcone, and even Oswald).

They both die at the end of their stories, but Liza’s death is tragic because she could have gone off to live a beautiful life whereas yes, the same could be said for Isabella, her death is tragic because she was such a mystery (and not in a good way).

Both of these characters are beautiful and likable and a favourite of various fans, but there’s an undeniable difference between the two which could have been easily fixed. All Isabella needed was another episode or two.

Those episodes would have allowed…:

Just long enough to give her a few scenes that focused primarily on her without adding purely to the overall cause. We do get minor glimpses of this but not nearly enough.

The chance for her thoughts and feelings to be given more attention. With Liza there’s that scene in the church confessional where she expresses how she feels conflicted about what they’re doing and she’s concerned about what might happen to Falcone, sure this relates primarily back to him and Fish, but even just for that scene we get to know Liza’s opinion on the whole situation. Back in episode 5, she asks questions, and we get to see her train. With Isabella we don’t get any of that. The closest we really come is when she says Ed killing Kristen doesn’t bother her, which again, is only to keep them together, and when she decides she doesn’t want to give up on Ed and wants to try and win him back. All reasonable things, but with everything we’re shown, these moments only present themselves as a surface level reasons to keep Isabella in the picture long enough to reach her death without it seeming completely and utterly rushed. Sure, Liza pushes her concern to one side because it allows for the plot to keep moving, but it’s highly believable because Fish talks to her (even if its brief), and in episode 5, questions she asks are answered and she is prepared for what’s going to happen making her feel like a natural part of the stories progress.

More episodes would have allowed for just one scene that could indicate the chance of having a life outside of the current set of characters she interacts with, like when Falcone offers to buy Liza a business in season 1, episode 12 and the opportunity to get away from everything.

Don’t get wrong, Isabella being used to be Ed’s girlfriend and to get between him and Oswald isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but she needed to be developed a little more first.

It baffles me that Gotham was able to do one of these so well and the other not so well. I could probably speculate on why that is but really I just wanted to highlight the fact that there are so many similarities between Liza and Isabella but they’re handled so differently. I also wanted to highlight one example of Gotham doing one thing right and wrong.

[optimisticcritique]

Gotham 4x14 - Review 

Is this technically a review? Sometimes I wonder if I should call this “highlights” or “reactions” instead but I do share opinions and recap the ending so...kind of a review? I’ll stick with review I suppose. 

Wait, why are you burning the mask? Did the hallucination mean nothing to you?!

I know it is supposed to be a bit revolting but the way that guy is eating that pickle makes me want one.

You know, if you had chewed quietly with your mouth closed, she might have let you live. #tablemannerscansavelives

"It's all about family" says the person that hired people to murder her father... 

"Never said it was a happy family" relatable, unfortunately.

I don't blame Alfred for refusing. Bruce, you suck at apologies. Try actually saying the word “sorry” next time. 

At least Alfred is giving him the chance to show him that he changed. 

I was wondering why Ed hasn’t tried any pills by now. Dude, that cannot be safe. I hope you know what you are taking.

"cuckoo pills" lol just the way he says it.

"Who's it from?" That smug expression as he pretends to be oblivious. 

Whoa whoa whoa *pauses to look at the letter and holds up giant magnifying glass* If there is a clue in here... I have no idea what it is. That being said, this letter of apology is amazing. I hope Oswald actually means it and doesn’t say “haha just kidding. I only sent it so you would find the clue and break me out” later.

"I think that's a nice letter" Okay, this made me laugh too much. I love you, you conniving piece of-wow, now I can’t get the riddler playing match maker out of my head. 

The Riddler:  "It's a nice letter...you should hear him out...possibly rescue him since you will already be there...cause some murder together while you are at it....maybe grab some dinner afterward...." 

I just picture him pushing even further, “Remember the good times you shared? Nursing him back to health, murdering mister Leonard, being his chief of staff, hallucinating him singing to you seductively...” “I was not-those were-UGH”

"I'm never going to forgive him" never say never Ed. You are destined villain soul mates apparently.

 "What has eyes but can't see?"  I think you are having way too much fun. Also, I don't know the exact answer but I am betting it has to do with not seeing the bigger picture with the letter or the origami penguin message.

Jim, you totally interrupted Lucius. He was on a role! I know you are worried about your boyfriend Harvey being dead with plants bursting from his body but let's look at priorities here. Harvey has decent sized plot armor and Foxy probably won't get much screen time in this episode, let him finish a sentence.       

"Too late" "No, we're not" He knows him so well. He just looks dead. It's how he sleeps. 

Speaking of which, look at how sprawled he is on that couch....when there is a bed inches away from him. Like, honestly, I know he is probably hung over/drunk but that's not a bad way to sleep. 

Harvey: *sees a squad of police that burst into the apartment* *thinks about what is most important* "Hey, someone's paying for that door!" 

"You can't put this on me!" "I'm not putting it on you!" Oh, grade A bickering right there... 

I guess you aren't a real villain until you end up on TV. How do the villains end up with this kind of connection? 

"...once I find my pants" At least you noticed before you started walking down the street. That's progress. 

The Narrows stealth squad is on the case!

"A complete set of encyclopedias...minus the T" *silence* "plus twenty bucks"  *cheers and runs out* 

Lol Ed. Yeah, don't blame them. Let's face it though, the main reason they weren't excited was because the T was gone. If it isn't complete, what is the point? 

I have so many thoughts from this short scene. 

First...what happened to the T? Was it stolen? Who stole it? Why did they want it?  

Second... Pretty certain the reason he chose encyclopedias was because that is what HE loved and wanted as a kid. That was little Eddie's dream right there. Ugh give us more on Ed’s childhood already!

Third... Ed does well with kids! I want an Ed/Martin scene. I want him to give him encyclopedias, teach him riddles, play video games together, etc. as Oswald wears matching outfits with Martin and teaches Martin how to murder. Give it to me, Gotham!

"You couldn't even stop her from hypnotizing your own cops" fair point. Selina would have better luck. 

Yes! I am so happy to see Selina say she is her friend. I love when the show focuses on these relationships and does not forget them.

Should have noticed something was fishy when Harvey actually did call, saying he got a lead. You know he would try to do this on his own.

Hit him Jim! Hit him like you did Lucius! ...Does Harvey have any hidden fighting/defense skills that we know nothing about too? 

"Cognitive impairment. Definite check. Though, to be fair, how would you know?" The super extra hand gestures are always a delight. 

Scenes like these make me laugh more than it should. It's like Ed doesn't need anyone else to make fun of him or insult his intelligence. He already has this covered....actually... this is also quite sad. As it is basically him belittling and making fun of himself...wow, I just totally ruined the moment for myself. 

"The only way to get rid of me is to kill yourself" Oh no...no...I thought this might come up as a possibility but I just assumed the show wouldn't go down this way. Such angst...I mean, I like the angst and it makes sense but...it is so real. 

I am kind of surprised that the "you shot my father" revenge decided to come into play now and not sooner. I guess she is more powerful and ruthless now but she had somewhat perfume power last season. 

"I'm sure whatever happened was your fault" Well, she isn't wrong.   

"So technically, your ex has been sleeping with your dead husband's mafia sister" lol well, when you put it like that, Ed... And this is what people who are not watching the show are missing. 

Imagine if Ed actually did tell Lee what has been happening, his issues and all. Would it make things better? Worse? He should really talk to someone about his problems before going suicidal.

I never noticed how great Harvey's hair was...he wears the hat so much that I forget he has hair under there, let alone how long it is.

"I've only got myself to blame" ...okay, Jim. This is the part where you say, "No, don't blame yourself. I screwed up too." Harvey did make some bad choices but you shouldn't let him take ALL the blame, even if you think it is true.  

"He's been everything to me...a teacher, a protector, he's been a father to me" That’s pretty ambiguous. Who are you talking about? Alfred? Jim? Your pet bird? I mean, he said he hoped he would give him another chance but didn't actually name names...

Crowd: "Yeah...but what about the foundation? What does this man taking care of you have to do with money? Where did the money go?"

 Come on, Bruce! Don't give up so easily. You are supposed to be more stubborn than this. 

This got dark fast. I know he won't kill himself but man...

He's going to try to get him to go to arkham so he can meet Ozzie, isn't he?  

Those flowers are rather lovely...although, I would prefer ones that didn't cause mass murder as they grow within the bodies of those that breath them, thanks. 

Yeah, you get them, Bruce! "This is who you are." Yes, thank you Alfred. Embrace it, Bruce. Embrace it! Honestly, it wasn’t that long ago when Alfred told him not to do stuff like this. Time really flies. 

Geez Jim, why can’t you be more careful when you shoot guns. 

If only he knew who he was chasing. Maybe he would use his time so much better if he was looking for Ivy instead. 

Get used to the disappearing, Jim.

It seems Bruce isn't the only one that will wait and creep in the darkness to get a drop on you. 

"Well, Selina Kyle turns out to be the hero" "I'm no hero" Maybe not but you are not as bad when compared to most criminals in the city. 

"I wasn't running. I was getting this. "  Thinking with her smarts there.

Selina, you are doing great. This is the stuff I love to see. 

Well, at least she got through to her enough to not murder her or turn her into a human plant incubator. Progress. 

Imagine if Ed was there with Lee. Wonder if they would have tried to shoot him dead too... 

What is with Gotham and their hand fetish?

You know, I have seen hands get cut off and stabbed every which way in this show but the hammer...the hammer is the one that gave me sympathy pains and had me cringing. Poor Lee, it sounded painful. 

Oh, Sofia, you are going to wish you didn't do that. You would have been better off if you had Lee as an ally. 

"Arkham doesn't get many volunteers" Can't imagine why. 

"You do know who I am, right?" It's like a famous person trying to get into a party. Except, I don't think this is a party Ed would want to get into. 

Wow, Oswald with his tears of happiness. He looks so proud and excited that his love letter was answered. 

Why does Oswald look totally insane in this scene? How long ago did he send the letter? I mean, he was miserable but he wasn’t quite like this.

Oswald: *is all excited, proud, and emotional* “He read my letter!”  This seems like the same reaction someone would have if a famous person liked or responded to their tweet/email/fanart. 

“I’m not talking to you Ed” Dang, first Ed was the third wheel in 4x12 with Lee/Jim and now here he is again with Oswald/Riddler. 

"I'm talking to him..." wait...so he knew about the riddler being...okay, I admit, I did not see this coming. At all. 

Ed looking back like, "You can see him too?" Honestly, he seems like he assumed Oswald knew nothing about what was going on so I can see why he might think that. Imagine how weird would it be if Oswald could see him. Like, it is not plausible but it would blow fans minds. 

"I see the other you" Hmm...just last episode you said I know you and now this. I feel like this needs to be added to an analysis somewhere.

The way Oswald lets go... he's trying not to be too rough. He has made similar movements with Ed before.

Earned it? Through what? Solving your clues and willing to break you out? Even when Oswald has to say the name he still has to be this way, giving an excuse like that. 

I really want to know how much Oswald actually understands. I don’t think he realizes how serious this is for Ed but it is all very unclear on what he does know. Great...this is going to bother me for at least a week now. 

"Please....don't...." Well, this makes me sad. I don't know how to feel about this. I hate seeing ed like this. 

"I need you....” *whispers* "riddler" Wow, okay. Thanks for this. That was more tender and sexual than intended. 

The Riddler needed to be Oswald-approved with his kink before he could show up.

Then caressing his hand against his cheek...totally a normal thing to do with an ex-best friend and co-conspirator. This scene is confusing my emotions. 

Ooh those laughs. They look so happy. The Riddler is coming! ...and with the Penguin! Nygmobbleplot begins. 

This Alfred and Bruce scene is so touching.  

"I'm home" yes, you are <3 Let's face it, the mansion is better than any place you were living any way. Cheaper, better food, more space, less getting framed for murder... 

You better specify when you knew that she hired the Pyg, Jim. Don't want him to think you knew too early. 

You decided to take her down now? It really should have been when you found out that she murdered her father but better late than never I guess. 

I am curious how long Sofia will last. Granted, she has quite a few people on her side...but she also has many enemies. I can't see it ending well. Better book a vacation and get out while you still can, girl.  

Over all: I enjoyed the episode a lot. It did bring some confusion on the Ed situation but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It is just kind of sad that it seems Ed/Riddler still is not “whole” yet. That being said, I need to see more before I make too many assumptions. I am interested in where it goes and excited to see what happen next. I am also happy to see Bruce changing his ways once again and seeing reunions all around. This should be fun now that everyone is back together again. Bruce and Alfred make up, Bruce accepts that he ready to save people again. Ivy and Selina have a confrontation where Selina tries to appeal to her friend, Ivy still flees. Harvey and Jim make up, plan to take down Sofia as Jim shares the truth with Harvey. Sofia crushes Lee’s hand that sends her to the hospital, essentially takes the Narrows more under her control. Ed deals with his riddler issues and ends up visiting arkham. The riddler has returned, teams up with Penguin, and is going to break him out of arkham.   

Previous review: 4x13   Next: 4x15

[weeklyhumorist]

BOOK EXCERPT: Slouchers: The Novelization

The following is an excerpt from Slouchers: The Novelization, a book based on the 1992 Gen-X movie by the same name.

It’s being re-published for the first time since 1992 and is available here, among other stores:

    Excerpt from

Slouchers: The Novelization

    “Did you guys know R2D2 and C3PO were designed by the same inventor?” announces Cody. “But that he was bi-polar? So each robot represents a different emotional side to his personality?”

“Watched Jaws again last night,” says a voice from the pitched roof, changing the subject.

It is Wes.

Willow’s camera pans upwards, past the NO LOITERING SIGN. Wes likes to sit on roofs. Also, he is gay, which can only make Willow’s documentary that much more interesting—and current. Homosexuals have been in the news recently because they are “coming out of the closet,” which means they are announcing to their families they are “homosexuals.”

This has never before happened in the history of “homosexuality,” which most likely goes back years, if not decades.

“I believe that the entire premise of Jaws was based on the Kennedy assassination,” he finishes.

When Willow first met him, a week ago, Wes had already been on the roof for a month. He’s in it for the long haul!

“Here we go,” says Cody. He rolls his eyes in mock exasperation. He doesn’t have time for any of this.

Actually, he does.

All he has, really, is time.

The video store doesn’t open for another hour. It will then close one hour beyond that.

Cody likes to earn extra dough by participating in the bootleg cassette and video black market: celebrity sex tapes, illegal rock concert movies, and hours upon hours of hilarious bloopers from the recently released Silence of the Lambs, including a long scene in which the lotion is not properly placed in the basket.

Wes—up on the roof—also has nothing but time. He’s been kicked out of his home and he intends to stay up on the slanted roof until his parents, who just don’t understand, eventually visit him and profusely apologize.

Like all parents in movies, they do not understand “homosexuals.”

But Wes is a Gen X’er.   And Gen X’ers take matters into their own hands!

The term “Gen X” was coined in 1991 by writer and “Baby Boomer” Douglas Coupland.   “Baby Boomer” is another important sociological term, this one coined years ago by a writer from the “Greatest Generation.”   Before that, no generations—at least with any marketable names—ever existed.   That’s just the way it was.

And this is the way it is now …

“Okay,” says Wes, from the roof, encouraged. “So listen to this: the shark is Oswald, right? The first woman to be killed—the swimmer in the ocean— that would represent Kennedy, okay? The rest of the dead would be the soldiers in Vietnam, yeah?” Wes looks down at Willow. “Isn’t the memory card full? You’ve been shooting on your Fuji DS-100 digicam ten minutes already, right?”

“Not yet,” answers Willow. “Few more minutes! Show the entire universe what you’re made of!”

It’s interesting that the Kennedy assassination was just mentioned. One of Willow’s all-time cinematic influences—more so than even Truffaut, whom she has yet to see—is the herky-jerky camera movements from the Zapruder Film, so influential on MTV’s documentarian, vérité style: exciting, loose, impulsive.

Volatile.

Standing gingerly, and making sure his left foot is planted properly so as to not fall off the roof, Wes spreads his arms wide. “Welcome to our reality! We’ve just graduated from college. And we have no jobs. Or prospects! Fuck it! Down the up elevator!”

As if to prove his point, Wes opens his graduation robe wide and dips his head so that his mortar board can be seen. It’s badly stained with alcoholic drinks. Written in white electrical tape across it is “NOW! WHAT?!”

Beneath his robe, Wes wears a ripped T-shirt recently purchased from Old Navy. He would have ripped it himself, in all the right places, but he figured he’d just let the Chinese workers do it for him.

“We call it our maxi pad,” announces Topper to the world. “Our den of equality. Here, anybody is free to be a sloucher!”

“And proud of it,” Cody semi-screams.

Cody slumbers over to the pay phone. He’s holding a half-eaten slice of convenience store pizza and a stack of quarters. He places the receiver to his ear. He’s been on hold forever with KQMV, the grunge radio station. He wants them— no, needs them—to play “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

It’s been fifteen minutes.

Fuck it.   On to something new.   He hangs up. Inserts quarters. He dials 1-900-DAY-DREA.

An operator answers. “1-900-DAYDREAM. How may I assist you to daydream today?”

“I need a daydream please,” says Cody.   He’d think of one himself but he’s too lazy.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Interests?”

“Films. Pop culture. Sci-Fi. Um …”  He pauses. What else?  “Fantasy, I guess? Horror. That’s about it. Oh, equal rights for … everyone, I guess, too?”

The operator is silent. She’s thinking. What would a twenty-three year old with these particular interests daydream about?

“I think I have it,” she eventually says. “You’re a famous filmmaker. And you’re walking into the premiere of your new blockbuster. It’s all about monsters.”

“I daydreamed that the other day. Another operator gave it to me.”

“Hmmmm. Then let’s try this one. You’re attending a party with many beautiful women—do you like women?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. A bevvy of beautiful women are attending a party and you are invited. Maybe you had a crush on a few in high school. Typically in these sorts of social situations, you’re shy, you don’t say much. Not that you can’t. It’s just that you don’t want to. But you decide that this party will be different. You walk in confidently. All heads turn. You loudly announce that you have a few conspiracy theories about the movie The Shining. There’s a gasp. What a way to enter a party! The women are stunned! They’ve never seen or heard anything like this!”

“Oooh, that’s good,” says Cody. “Very good, yes! I like that!”

“Before long, the most beautiful women are in the bedroom, listening to all of your fascinating, original theories on The Shining.”

“Ooooh.”

“You have so many Stanley Kubrick theories, like how The Overlook’s distinctive, hexagonally-patterned carpeting depicts the chemical compound for the soon-to-be invented crack cocaine. The girls are blown away. They’re in heaven. You sit back on the bed, your arms behind your head, and you’re nodding, as if to say: Yeah. No big deal. I just knew you would dig my theories. Whatever!”

“Wow.”

“And that is your daydream for today.”

“Do I sleep with them?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to insert another $1.25 in quarters to find out.”

Cody hangs up.

Harsh realm. 

But cool. He can handle the rest of the daydream himself. He has enough to work with—barely, but enough. He takes a bite out of his pizza, a huge one. He places the slice back down on to the dirty, metallic surface within the phone booth. It’ll be safe until he returns in ten minutes. He blades over to the curb, mouth stuffed, and sinks down with a loud sigh. His energy for the day is sapped.

But he has some daydreaming to do …

“Hey, everyone!” says Topper, skateboarding past Cody, “how much realistically to run into the Convenience Mart right now, buck naked, and then eat a roller dog and then jet right back out? How much realistically would it take for you to do that? Seriously? Realistically?”

“Twenty,” says Jack Jack.

“Fifteen,” says Wes.

“I’d do it for nothin’,” says Royce, chewing languidly on a straw. “Fuck it. I’d do anything for free. I’m crazy like that!”

Royce smokes his Camels “straight.” Kicked out of the Army after forcing the citizens of Baghdad to memorize at gunpoint the lyrics to R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts”, he’s back in Seattle and living it up in the parking lot. Royce is the badass of the bunch, the one with the streetwise panache. The one who wears the Army fatigues and a hospital bracelet that’s never been explained but is now fraying. The bracelet is tie-dyed.

Sipping on a 40, Royce has just returned from yet another visit to the plasma bank. His purpose this time was to pay for all the personal lubrication at the Convenience Mart that will assist him in making a deposit at the sperm bank so that he can earn enough money for all the Ring Dings and tall cans of 40 he so desperately craves at the Convenience Mart.

It’s the perfect hustle.

“Then why don’t you?”  Royce shrugs. He adjusts his camouflage Army jacket. He fiddles with his plastic hospital bracelet.

“Juss don’t feel like it, is all,” he says. “Fuck it. Fuck everything!”  “Hey, guys,” asks Topper. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure,” says Wes from the roof.

“So when you’re sitting in a pool and you feel something that ain’t cool, does it have to be diarrhea?”

Wes laughs. He’s heard this before. And yet it never grows tiresome.

Willow turns off her digital video cam by hitting the large, red STOP button.

“You guys,” announces Willow. “Incredible! Amazing! MTV will love this! You guys are the best! Just acting like yourselves, you’re stars! The world will soon know you all!”

“When’s the contest deadline?” asks Wes, sitting back down on the roof’s slope, making room for his graduation robe to bloom out like a red cloud within a heroin syringe. “When do you have to mail this in?”

Leave it to the homosexual character to be overly concerned about logistics!

“One week from today,” answers Willow. “At exactly this time. They’ll pick a winner, live on the air, for their Grunge Voice of a Generation! I’m going to be cutting it close! But I must get this right, I just have to! There are no second chances!”

“And then you’ll be MTV’s first Grunge Veejay!” says Topper, skateboarding past, sipping on a mug of locally crafted Hefferveisen brew, the latest hops “craze.”

There are so many breweries in this Northwest city that you can practically smell yeast in the air!

Willow prays it’s yeast.

“And we can all move into your mansion. And do nothing all day, every day,” exclaims Topper.

“Do?” asks Jack Jack. “More like yabba-dabba-don’t!”

“I thought you wanted to be the first skateboarder to perform a 360-inward-double-heel flip in slow motion on a Doritos TV ad,” says Wes.

Topper’s face flushes. That is, indeed, his dream. But when someone else says it, it just sounds too insurmountable for anyone to actually achieve …

“Maybe,” he mumbles. “I don’t know. You know, maybe.”

“I don’t want to be MTV’s first grunge veejay,” says Willow. “I want to be a filmmaker. I want to capture my generation on expensive VHS tape.”

“But can we still move into your mansion? And do nothing all day, every day?” asks Topper. “When you get famous?”

“We do that anyway,” says Wes from above. “All day, every day. Nothing.”

“Right. But we can then do it inside,” says Topper. “And not outside. Where it rains.”

“Rain is nothing but a conceit,” announces Wes.

“Of what?”

“Of reality,” says Wes. “We’re living within a giant computer.”

“Like Tron?” asks Topper, reaching for another nacho and dipping it into a cardboard container of liquid cheese. “Greed is good. Nachos are better.”

“Can you imagine?” asks Topper. “We’re nothing more than images and pictures inside a huge Tandy TRS-80 in the sky?”

“Can’t even,” says Cody, although it’s hard to tell if he’s being sarcastic.  It’s his second language.

“Being programmed by a Radio Shack employee to do anything the guy wants,” says Topper.

“So you’re saying that if my programmer wants me to spit, then he would just have me spit?” asks Jack Jack.

He spits.

“Yes.”

“But what if my programmer does not want me to spit and yet I want to spit?”

Jack Jack goes to spit but stops himself at the last moment.

“Then he never wanted you to spit,” says Cody. “He didn’t want you to spit from the beginning.”

Jack Jack spits.

“I guess he did want you to spit. So he just had you do it.”

Jack Jack spits. “Wanted you to spit.”

Jack Jack goes to spit, stops himself.

“Didn’t want you to spit.”

“So what you’re saying,” says Jack Jack, “is that I have zero sovereignty over my own destiny?”

“You vill obey the programmer’s wishes or zelse!” says Wes, from the roof, in the hilarious voice of Sergeant Schultz from Hogan’s Heroes.

“All this with an 8-bit Radio Shack computer,” says Topper. “Imagine the possibilities with a 16-bit!”

“But if we all are truly and really programmed,” says Spooner to Wes, “would this mean you were programmed to be gay?”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” says Wes, now in his own voice.

“I’m a Pepper, he’s a Pepper, she’s a Pepper, wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?” sings Spooner, mimicking the 1970s Dr. Pepper commercial he sings whenever something even halfway earnest is said in conversation.

The Greatest Generation had their earnestness.

The Gen X’ers have something far better: studied insouciance.

Something that actually matters.

“You might be a Pepper but crass materialism will get you nowhere,” declares Cody, sipping from a plastic bottle of OK Cola. He is obsessed with this drink, as are all twenty-somethings.

The Greatest Generation had their World War II.

The Gen X’ers have something far better: the Cola Wars.

“Time to hit the grindstone,” declares Willow, as she clips the digicam onto a belt-loop of her factory-aged work jeans, just next to her large pink beeper. “Can’t just chat all day!”

“You’ll know where to find us,” Wes announces from behind her, still on the roof. “Out here, in our little slice of paved heaven.”

Cody is at the curb. He’s done with his daydream.

He didn’t end up sleeping with any of the beautiful women after talking about conspiracy theories from The Shining but he did manage to receive oral pleasure.

So, really, the daydream could have been a hell of a lot worse.

“Yeah, ain’t going nowhere,” agrees Topper, still on top of the overturned trash can. “Because there ain’t nowhere to go.”

“Turtle and the hare,” says Jack Jack. “Turtle and the hare.”

“Prozac and the booze,” says Wes. “Prozac and the booze.”

“Echoing that,” says Cody, mouth full of cheap ’za, some of which falls to the concrete below. “Man, remember when twenty-two felt old?! Now it don’t feel like nothin’!”

“Rimbaud did he best work before twenty,” says Spooner. “Maybe we’re doomed.”

He lazily scratches at his club hand-stamp. It is in the shape of Bart Simpson wearing unlaced combat boots. Cody is infamous for being too cool to chew; and when he’s truly feeling the grunge spirit—too lazy to even breathe—he’ll wear a working sleep apnea mask fashioned for the daytime. The mask is flanneled.

“It’s the nineties,” Jack Jack says, as way of explanation. “It’s the motherfuckin’ nineties.”

“See ya soon, boys,” says Willow, leaving the parking lot and this amazing conversation behind.

She enters a record store …

  BOOK EXCERPT: Slouchers: The Novelization was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s4ep4 “The Demon's Head” Personal Review 

“I hope that satisfies your curiosity” Warning spoilers below  

Not quite back to the old format but I´m not sure if that´s a good or bad thing anyway.

The “What is so important about this knife?!” club, founded by Barbara Kean gets two honourably members, Bruce Wayne and Jim Gordon. Ra´s al Ghul still refuses to reveal more than vague ideas and stories.

 * I like Alex Winthrop, I want(ed) to be Alex, I´m jealous, beyond jealous and full of regret * they really got the switch in tone from boy just talking to boy remembering other “boy” in the room is Bruce Wayne really nice * NILES WINTHROP: “My boy people believe in these stories, they kill for them” Stories and ideas still the most dangerous thing in history since the dawn of mankind!  * That what is it a saber tooth tiger? skeleton gives me Hannibal Randall Tier flashbacks  * “The best liar I ever met ran a brothel in Shanghai. Her quite considerable gift was that you knew she was lying but didn´t care, you so badly wanted to believe her” No my dear Ra's al Ghul the best liar you ever met was a plain and simple tailor.  

 * “Knocking Victor, we discussed this.” WHEN, WHY, did you discuss this, WHAT happened that you had to discuss this ?! I need to know. Oswald .. spill the beans.

* SOFIA FALCONE claims to be only here to support the charities. Concerns from OSWALD COBBLEPOT are unfounded, she says. VICTOR ZSASZ is leaning the background and distracting me tremendously, the blue suits him. Victor´s “I´mma stab you” sound so lovely, the threat goes totally over my head.  Glad Oswald´s paranoia is confirming my headcanon about the families lying doormat. Sofia is so good, I´m starting to love her. She´s aiming for harmless. It reminds me so much of early Oswald.   

* Some families loyal to Falcone show up at SOFIA FALCONE´s place wanting back old times and their beloved Carmine. She claims to want them gone for their own good, too late. Oswald makes her listen to them being shot. She served them to penguin on an ice cold plate. That was so calculated wasn´t it. “You used me” Sofia lets OSWALD COBBLEPOT believe that he is calling the shots. He seems to buy it. “You´re alive aren’t you” “I would plant roses; they will cover up the smell”  Sofia criticizes Oswald´s methods: “My father wouldn´t have ..”   “My father knew how to build on the strength of others ..”  Send a message that the old order supports him then the now dead men would have pledged him loyalty.  She is weaseling herself into his empire presenting herself as useful. This is “golden goose” part two! Oswald acts like he doesn´t care  “New Times, new methods” but I´m sure this will be going through his mind. He took so much from his old mentors, he knows that himself, he´s even mentioned it this episode.

 * Later: SOFIA FALCONE talking to JIM GORDON pushes emotion buttons again: Recalling her father Carmine Falcone stabbing a man begging for his life just to see everything back to normal as if nothing had happened the next day. One would think she should turn her back on Gotham but nope. “This house, this city is in my veins, I´m home Jim.” Is she mirroring the blood rhetoric from Jim in 4x03? “It´s in my blood” were Jim´s words  “The city is my birth right” was her phrasing, both refer to a birth right in some way but there was more legal/law rhetoric in it.   Jim asks about the missing/dead men. Since when is Jim eager to investigate the murder of criminals. Sofia tells him about Penguin using her as bait and Jim is “And you let him” yeaah right? He´s not taking her seriously previously but now she should have things neat and tidy.  Sofia calls him out that Jim´s coming for help from Carmine would never have been bloodless. Was that her plan, Jim asks, get close to penguin gain his confidence. He needs to know what she is going to do. No he doesn’t! (Makes me think of Jim just being more open to Barbara Kean in S1 would have prevented some stuff and things as well.) Sofia is gonna get the city back from penguin, that´s what Jim wants she´s gonna give him that but he has to trust her! Jim grabs her arm, smashes the glass and kisses her. It´s like in the old movies. They make out on the couch. Damn. But I´m only and only accepting the whole thing if this is actually this time Jim using his sexuality as a weapon. Let this be Jim being the feme fatale seducing someone to gain leverage over them. Please. (Also with all the Sofia & Oswald parallels this (even if just plain actual love or lust) is so good.) 

* JIM GORDON looks so out of place in BARBARA KEAN´s weapon shop I love it. Seeing the spiked punk hair next along to the pristine blue velvet (?) sofas is wonderful. No one so far has been sitting on them right? The guys in the room drink from glasses and a wine bottle. Makes me think of if Barbara confiscated all the beer cans before they entered the place (doesn’t fit the aesthetic) and made them clean their combat boots. Jefferson Airplane “White Rabbit” always gets me. Barbara with the playing cards picks up the Alice in Wonderland theme. Her hair looks nice again. * “You like this me better?”  Barbara is still picking up there history but Jim isn´t even acknowledging it. Despite her new chill attitude it seems those things still matter to her? * RA´S and Barbara´s interaction are still oddly respectful, I wanna know more.

* The upside down EDWARD NYGMA cut was lovely, and I can relate writing is a struggle and you need knifes for it * I regret watching the preview, I think the sudden rap would have had more impact not knowing about it in advance. * “Well that´s exactly what you would say” Victor Zsasz just want´s to torture people he´s ready to find any reason for it. * The riddled invitations are all in vain Edward bursts into the Iceberg Lounge. There is some banter with OSWALD COBBLEPOT who then recognizes Ed is not quite himself. * “Six hours for two bad riddles does that sound like anything like the old you” “Revenge will make me feel better” “You wont have revenge on me” “Yeah I will” “No you won´t” “Only HE can get revenge on me”  This is prime Season 1 Oswald, bargaining for his life with eloquence and wits. He´s talked himself out of being killed, again. This would totally have worked without the reinforcement as well. * Edward gives in, okay freeze me, he says what Oswald´s surely please to here “I´m not the Riddler”. It saves him. “I would only freeze Ed Nygma, who cares about that. Better revenge is having you live, knowing that you are not him, and you never will be again.” I´m crying.  Also, I get the rhetoric’s but that´s just sentiment there. Oswald stabbed people for less, granted he´s had more time to think about things in that scenario but even in not so impulsive situations he´s never been Mr. Sadistic. He´s wallowed in having the upper hand (and consequently someone else suffering because of that) but he´s not into torture he´s not into that prolonged dragged out element of this, if someone suffers from his hand it´s more a straight line thing, clearer and done when done. His cruelty has function, often a message (Feeding Grace her children, the corpses in Sofia´s garden,) but he´s not wallowing in the cruelty per se. (Or am I forgetting something?)  

* What are the flowers in place of the Ice Sculpture. The pink suits the Iceberg Lounge but I need to know if those flowers go a particular meaning. * “Who am I”  Ed is back to the old question.

 * BRUCE WAYNE feels responsible for the Winthrop murder.  Well he should have thought about that earlier. If Alfred indeed advised him not to let the man have the knife overnight Alfred has some serious wisdom points over Bruce this week. I don´t really get why Bruce would be so reckless anyway. It was risky in terms of losing the knife and also in terms of risking other person´s well being. What got into him? Plot convenience?  * “Fear is normal” Poor ALEX WINTHROP. He´s a muffin. There´d be so many characters who would be mad at Bruce even if he truly actually didn´t have a clue about the knife. I find it a bit odd that they would trust each other that quickly and have such a conversation but I´m not questioning it cause it´s just too much of a beautiful scene. “Weirdly cool” 

* They both flee from some hunter and ANUBIS that Ra´s sent after the knife. What´s Egyptian mythology got to do with all this? How does he know how to track down the knife? Wouldn´t he like needed to have smelled it to recognize it? Has he, how old is he? Has he been killed with the knife and brought back to have a connection of what? Just in general what?! * Old me, good me, on track me would be so stressed out by all the mess with the books. * Also later:  Playing fetch with the bone. Are you serious ?! :D * “Hiding it in plain sight” Did I say I love Alex. I never know why people put the stuff in the most secure place. Put it in your hopelessly messy dresser. Let them dig though old and new socks, no pair matching not knowing if they are going to find anything there or somewhere starched between old documents and files, or maybe in an emptied shampoo bottle among (yeah I know the particular knife isn´t going to fit but you get the idea) lotions, soaps and things.   “The man that killed him, he can´t have this.” Could I love him more. Thinking about his Grandfathers words and them maybe being true he takes responsibility, he´s considerate. He´s not dropping it like hot coals that burnt his hand, he´s looking at his injuries wanting them to have some meaning. This guy killed his grandfather that´s reason enough for not doing him any favours of any way.  Alex is so dead, he´s so going to die, right?!

* JIM GORDON got his detective skills back this week. He´s easily deducting Alex´s escape, taking aid in Bruce, and that little story face off with RA´S AL GHUL was just lovely to watch: The boy is hunted because of the knife or because the killer thinks he saw something > Did he? > No. > Phew, well then he is safe.  I´d love to have seen them talk more, but yeah I get it it´s not Garak and Bashir. * ALFRED PENNYWOTH interrupts and promptly punches Ra´s. “Where the bloody hell is Gordon”  “He´s bloody vanished”   Jim is trying to get him stop the riot  “I need you to calm down”. This is a nice contrast to the recent just “set the butler loose” he´ll hurt people but things will be alright. Jim being the one recognizing sudden action and violence might not be the best thing long term is a nice change and it gives me tiny flash backs to the Jim Gordon from S1 who calmed down and defused dangerous situation.

 * BIG THING this week is people not telling Jim stuff. Bruce is not confiding in him until he is persuaded. Sofia is not letting Jim in on her plans, I hope she´ll stay clever and continue that. There is a big confrontation between Jim and Alfred about this. “You do not get to lecture me on a lack of honesty and openness” Alfred and Bruce were up to something for weeks. For once Jim is kind of right in his righteous rage. Alfred, as his guardian can violate privacy if for the sake of safety, Jim claims. Alfred is not having it. “Stick to the point” Having Pennyworth stay back and possibly arrested is petty and not a good call though. It will teach him a lesson is something for bickering lovers not people trying to safe someone. Alfred even picks that dispute up again later when Jim is trying to comfort Bruce and reason he needs to be talked to to be helpful “Ra´s is a psychopath, you are not responsible for his action. I wanna help but everything you´ve said so far ..  give me something I can believe.”  “Perhaps now you understand why we held back.”  Alfred jabs. I hope they get over the pettiness and will work together..

* “You don´t understand he, killed Alfred and then brought him back” Is this the week where they have the BRUCE WAYNE & JIM GORDON parallels reversed?  Usually it´s Bruce Wayne caring first and foremost about saving and protecting the lives of others (”even” if it´s the life of a thief 4x03) now he hesitates to hand over the knife in exchange for Alex´s life. Usually it´s Jim Gordon who risks the well being of others and steps over corpses for the sake of the mission and the grand picture.  Moreover did he really say “he” killed Alfred? While I would absolutely agree that all blame for this solely is to be put on Ra´s and Bruce is the victim in this. I find myself surprised that Bruce would say it that way. So far we´ve seen him feel responsible for what he did under Ra´s influence. I took him as someone who would not want to forget this, a cautionary detail to avoid similar things in the future. Seeing and putting the blame on someone else without keeping an eye on one´s own responsibility in the scenario (subjectively or objectively) is something Jim does. Bruce takes responsibility for his actions, he faces his mistakes. Yet this week he claims to have been unknowing about the dangers of the knife, (Don´t get me wrong in this situation it probably was the better and much more helpful option.) and he keeps risking more Winthrop lives.

* RA´S AL GUHL obviously is pleased with Bruce´s actions.  “Well done Bruce, you finally begin to see things clearly. The question is are you strong enough?”  

* After ALEX got killed (I knew it but argh) Bruce is back to. “This is all my fault” Despite Jim Gordon trying to tell him otherwise he´s confirming:  It doesn´t matter what you say, it´s all my fault, I killed him. Yep sounds more like the Bruce we know. The little trip into Jim Gordon ways did not agree with him.  I wonder what Ra´s would say to this. Probably that he isn´t strong enough. But I´d say admitting and recognizing such a thing needs strength.  Back to the parallel we´ve had Lee and others blame Jim for all the misery around him, while I have to disagree with quite some cases we haven´t seen Jim owning up to it or seriously second guessing his deed. We´ve only got clues that he´s quite miserable at times but he´s never set down being like yep you´re right that was wrong. Bruce´s gonna do that and keep doing that I assume ?

* “Sure but, how do you spell .. “  I feel called out I still look up how to spell Ra's al Ghul.  That and Oswald twice not being in the spot where Edward was waiting for him is adding so much “realism”. Cause that´s exactly how all those great plans would play out if it weren´t the movies.  “Honestly that could be anything” Oswald calls it about the riddles.  I also really loved the so absolutely done he can´t even properly handle his glass nor keep his hands out of is face attitude. There´s so much “I feel this”. Same with the petty bickering in between Oswald and Ed (you´re not smart, yeah well maybe because you froze me, I get revenge, no you wont, yes , no) and Jim and Alfred. There´s still been great statements in there but also some kind of spotonness . If it´s BenMckenzie solely responsible for this: Bless you.

* That tiny penguin pin on Oswald´s suit! * “My other Victor”  “Not you, the other Victor”  Mr. “the other” Victor Freeze. <3

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Gotham 4x05: A Liveblog

Phew... long, long day, super delayed liveblog, but here it is, in all its glory. And frankly, after last time, I am not hoping for much : |

TL;DR - So there was a footrub and- HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT SOLOMON GRUNDY!

You know I’m disappointed in Gotham when I have not been chomping at the bit to see the next episode. If they get ANYTHING right today, I'll be pleased

Buuuutch :c my baby, my angel :cccc

...there’s literally location called “Slaughter Swamp” there’s literally... *throws book on floor* *walks out*

And yeah, I'm sure dumping a mostly dead body in... this swamp is Very Safe and will not lead to Anything Weird Ever. After all, it’s not like the waters in this town have literally resurrected people...

HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. HARVEYYYYY *sobs* Oh god and you look so good and your boyfriend has been AN ALL TIME LOW recently and... HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *cries into 50 pillows*

This season was supposed to be about you two getting married. And instead what do I get? The divorce. I fucking hate how this show writes Jim. HATE.

Is lil Bruce contemplating murder??? Daaaamn boy. Is this show finally actually going to become ABOUT Batman??? Am I actually going to start giving a fuck about Bruce? Jesus, how the turn tables.

Side note: David was younger here, they shot this episode earlier, not later

MMMM, all them good funeral feels for Bruce, MMMMMM. This is fine. I’m sure he’s... fine.

Jim what the fuck, fuck off. None of your shit now.

Oh my GOD Jim, you’re going to lecture ALFRED about PARENTING??? JIM. JIM. REMEMBER WHAT YOUR USELESS ASS WAS DOING FOR LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON? IT WASN’T FUCKING HELPING BRUCE. FUCK YOU.

Why this show is choosing to make me hate Jim is beyond me. Holy fuck.

Bruce, I know you’re not Batman yet but... Batman is No Killing for a reason buddy. *pets* You gotta learn that lesson.

Babs hair this season continues to be... I don’t even know what her style is this season

HOLY FUCK WHY IS RA’S IN A HANNIBAL CAGE. HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

How Hannibal is this show going to get??? HOly SHIT.

Don’t tell me they gave Babs the fucking “soft paper, no clips, no staples, do not accept anything he hands you” rules (that BY THE BY we used on Frank too and that will NEVER stop being hysterical, although most of you are probably not in that fandom) too??/ HOLY FUCK WHAT THE SHIT

RA’S IS NOT A SERIAL KILLER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THIS... WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

I want to be paid a dollar every time Gotham borrows from Hannibal because... WOW. wow.

Jesus Fucking Christ What Even Just Happened

Oh thank GOD we’re back in Slaughter Swamp, I’m so sorry for what I said about you earlier, NEVER MIND, you are MUCH better than that, VERY welcoming, bless you Slaughter Swamp

...is that Oswald’s murder trailer? Welp, for the purposes of amusing myself, I’m just going to say that it is. Just come full circle on it. That trailer stays in the family.

Apparently none of you have seen Frankenstein or you would know not to wave fire at the recently returned from the dead : ||||

That... I guess that’s as good a way to get a name as any

*groaning about Sofia’s existence*

Is it an f or a ph? does anyone know? Meh

Mmmm... Oswald’s twitchy, he makes bad decisions when he’s twitchy. Of course, why Oswald should be twitchy now is a mystery. I can only hope the decision to abandon Ed isn’t sitting well with him. BUT that might make Too Much Sense because Fuck This Show

Hi Ed. I see your pill addiction is... still a thing. I’m not sure how i feel about the fact that you turn to drugs when you can’t handle shit.

...okay, I kinda love that Ed is now bad at everything in a new and entirely understandable way, as opposed to when he was bad at everything but we were SUPPOSED to think he was oh so smart (personally I think there are WAY better writing angles in that in regards to hubris and you know... actual fucking development but, WHATEVER writers, you do you). I have no idea where this will eventually lead, probably nowhere, because this show sucks and is determined not to make any progress of any kind but rather run us round and round in the same circles for all eternity, but this gets props for being entertaining if nothing else

“Butch, I have never had an issue with you” ...Ed. Edddddd. I’m. I’m just going to sit here silently.

Butch, I love you to death, you are everything, please drag Ed, both figuratively and literally, back to your cave and fix him. I love you so so much, please take care of him and then the two of you can be bros for life

Niiiiice, Alfred in his casual Night on the Town clothes, mmhmmmmmm

JIM SHUT YOUR FUCKING USELESS WHORE MOUTH YOU SELF-ABSORBED PRICK, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT DEAD WEIGHT TO EVERYONE HERE, DON’T YOU DARE PRESUME TO TELL ALFRED HOW TO PARENT YOU UNWANTED CODPIECE

NANANANANANANANA BATHOOK!

...you’re kidding me, I’m supposed to believe Bruce has memorized the changing of the guard at Blackgate? *siiiiiigh*

...yes, I also keep my ceremonial murder weapons stuffed down my shirt. It’s almost like you need a utility belt or something

I hope to god Sean flubbed that line and everyone just went with it

“Under crackers” is now the only way I am going to refer to my under garments and/or genitals

...OKAY SO GRUNDYGMA IS THE NEW NYGMOBBLEPOT WE ALL KNOW THAT RIGHT?

Holy shit, I thought y’all were just being crack but THIS IS SUDDENLY THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS SHOW I AM IN LOVE THIS IS PERFECT PLEASE GOD MAY THEY NOT RUIN IT IMMEDIATELY

Holy shit, ONE good scene, ONE good fucking scene in A MILLION years, oh... sweet jesus THANK YOU, I’ve waited SO LONG for literally ANYTHING to be good again and HERE IT IS

Uhhh... is Sofia gonna murder Oswald over lunch? Because if so: No.

Oh boy, back to overplot

...okay, I have no idea what to make of Ra’s al Ghul, if he’s lying or not, not a clue

Ed... Ed you REALLY need friends right now, would you please just TRY to human being for a second. Jesus. You’re stupid and you’re still SO BAD at EVERYTHING.

Awww, see, there you go! There you go sweetie, you can be friends!You can do it, good job not letting your only friend burn to death, that’s a good step forward!

Uhhhhhh oh, Oswald’s having mom feels. Oh boy.

Alfred, confirmed 300% more useful than Jim ever was

Poor Oswald... damn, without an Ed as a clutch for balance, Oswald’s spinning his wheels. This is 100% what I expected when the season started, but I”m a little upset at the pacing. This should have been obvious and building from day 1 and AGAIN, LAST episode should have had a VERY different emotional tenor. His limp is also atrocious right now, he’s very stressed and jumpy and there are obvious reasons why, but they haven’t PLAYED any of them, which is annoying.

...

...

. . .

The List Of Things I Could Say Right Now. I’m Just.

.

.

.

do you know who fucking else has seen Oswald’s fe-EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ALL OF THE ANGRY GIFS IN THE WORLD CANNOT EXPRESS MY RAGE

So uh... are you a mummified corpse in all reflective surfaces and you’ve just been avoiding mirrors, or does this trick only work in puddles?

...really milking that death there Alexander. Which is fair, this is a comic book show after all.

GREAT acting on David’s part tho, mad props

Yes, yes, cute jaw drop, very hammy, good job

Jim, I’m pretty sure this is the first time you two have spoken in like... 2 seasons. Just saying. you don’t know each other that well... or at all really.

Also, I‘m not positive killing someone who was immortal and who wanted to die is really murder either. Especially considering he was The Worst. Like... you shouldn’t feel bad, at all, that he’s dead, you’ve actively saved lives by killing him. Even if this is murder, I”m just saying... probably the best murder you could have done. Good job Bruce? Meh, I really don’t have any investment in this storyline, I'll be real.

Ed, why must you lie to your own and only friend? Why Ed? *siiiigh* Baby steps of friendship I guess, baby steps

...annnnnnnnnnnd there it is.

Knew it was too good to be true, couldn’t have ANYTHING nice this season could we. No, no of course not. Ooof course not.

May the all-consuming void swallow me up whole so I don’t have to deal with This.