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#i love how little i know about the internet i love how little i know about celebrities
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What is hyperfixation like?
So, I didn’t care about Sherlock Holmes at all until about six weeks ago.
I watched BBC Sherlock as my gateway drug, then read a bunch of fic, started listening to the podcast Sherlock & Co, bought a copy of the new queer anthology When the Rose Speaks Its Name, started watching the Jeremy Brett series, and now I’m reading Bending the Willow: Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes while simultaneously cycling through BBC Sherlock - AO3 - Sherlock & Co - When the Rose Speaks Its Name - Jeremy Brett - misc. Sherlockian googlings on a daily basis.
I can feel dopamine coursing through my veins every second that I get to interact with Sherlock Holmes related media, which is a considerable amount of time. I draw fanart at work and scribble gay little thoughts in my journal. There is not an atom within me that isn’t vibrating for Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes byproducts.
And yet nobody in my real life wants to talk about it with me, no matter how hard I try. I tried reaching out to my brother who has always been an ACD Holmes fan and he literally hasn’t replied to me in a month. He’s got kids. All I’ve got is a new Sherlock Holmes hyperfixation.
I posted some of my new art on Instagram and received a very weak response even though I was really excited about it and still think it’s some of my better work. I deactivated my account because I was so sad.
The isolation impacts me negatively. It pushes me further and further away from “real life” and into escapismland, because that’s where all the dopamine lives. I find myself on Tumblr or making edits on TikTok where no one really knows me or cares about me but people who care about the same media I do might respond.
It would mean everything to me for someone to care both about me as a human and about my interests, especially in the first few months of a hyperfixation when I literally cannot shut the fuck up about it.
But instead I am doomed to this lonely life of soaring highs, swinging from media fixation to media fixation, telling strangers on the internet that I am desperately in love with fictional characters, and crash-and-burn lows that most people don’t even understand.
I am a 30-year-old woman technically diagnosed with both bipolar and autism spectrum disorder. I am a weird gay aunt who will never have a longterm partner or children or possibly even close friends. I am actually a really nice and cool and hot person.
And I am only in love with Sherlock Holmes.
For now.
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icarusredwings · 2 days
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This post may not be suitable for littles or people who get uncomfy with mentions of baby making stuff. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK THO I SWEAR!!!!
Wade:
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Thinking about how much Wade loves babies when he's small.
He's holding Logan's hand down the street as they're running errands, and he's being so good, like SUPER good. Not running away, litsening to instructions, using his words in a way Kitty can understand.
He doesn't even have Fluffy with him either, so he's doing all of this with minimal emotional support, just his chewy star necklace and one of Logans big hoodies. He's in some colorful leggings, though, and in his pocket is nothing but a snack. Not even his cup.
Bro is raw dogging the adult outdoors as his small self with practically nothing. He's still wearing his dog tags, though, just in case he gets lost, they're used as a source of identification.
Ealier, when Wade wanted to pet a stray cat instead of just running off, he gasped and pointed to it. "Kitty!" Which is obviously code for "Look! A cool thing!" So when Logan looked, he saw how polite Wade was behaving.
"Be gentle, okay? Sometimes, they don't like humans." He tells him, carefully walking him over in which Wade just squats down to pet the cat very nicely. You would think 'yeah no duh he wouldn't hurt it,' and you would be correct, though sometimes he pets them too rough or moves too quickly so they get scared and scratch him.
Right now, he's bored, leaning on his shoulder and starting to get fussy because paying bills is boring, and he wants to go home. Chewing on his star, he stops, and his eyes light up, seeing a stoller.
Wade loves strollers. Because where there is a pram- Theres a babe. And babies were great. (Unless they were screaming, and then they were not)
He tugs a bit on Logan, but he's ignored because he's trying to ask the internet service people why they charged them 15 extra this month when nothing changed. "Kitty!" He points, looking at him for consent to go see the baby. Frustrated, confused, and not looking, Logan assumes that he sees another cat and waves a hand. "Yeah, sure. Be gentle."
So, being given the okay, Wade practically skips over to the stroller and crouches down to see a chunky cheeked baby boy. His mum is busy on the phone, so she doesn't even notice a grown man cooing over the child.
Giggling to the baby, he lets him grab his finger and nibble on it. Tickling his cheeks and stuff, you know. Baby stuff. So when he takes off his hood to let the baby play with his necklace, the baby gets upset and starts to cry.
I think we would all cry if we saw a glowy yellow eyed man smiling at us like that with such unfarmiliar skin. You have to remember, babies only know what they're shown, and I doubt it's ever seen anything like this before.
Of course, it cries. And the crying alerts the mom. "Ooh shh, Steven, you're al- Ahh!! Who are you! Get away from my baby, you freak!"
Getting shooed away, he whines, unsure of what he did wrong. Was it bad to play with babies? His head said No.
"What is wrong with you!?"
"I-i... but.." he dosn't know what to say, tries to explain that he didn't do anything bad and that he was sorry but she dosn't seem to care about his words. This is New York afterall. Kids are stolen all the time here.
The yelling, of course, makes Logan think "Great some idiot made the baby cry," only to pause and wonder where Wade went. "OH SHIT that's MY idiot." He thinks and instantly becomes protective, growling as he gives in and throws the extra money at the tiller. Coming outside, he steps in front of Wade. Sure, Wade is a weirdo, but he wouldn't do anything to the baby. Right??
"What's your deal lady!?"
"He tried to take my son!!" She says, assuming the worst.
Logan gives a glance to Wade, who's already crying and shakes his head, unable to get any words out, but "I'm good!" Seeing as various times today, Logan has praised him for behaving. "You're being so good today, kid."
"No he didn't! Now take your ugly pup and get!"
A bit more of arguing, and she finally goes on her way, complaining about New York Weirdos.
After that, he starts asking Wade why he was touching a random baby and honestly just running his mouth that he knows better and shouldn't do that, etc.
Almost instantly, it stops, though, because he's already crying. He lets out this huge sigh. "Fine... Im sorry.. I know you like babies. How about I give you a baby. Would you like that?"
Logan doesn't mean it in the way Wade thinks, obviously, as his eyes widden, sniffling. "You're gonna give me a baby!?"
"Yeah, sure-"
"We're gonna have a baby!!!??"
"WAIT- No! Not like that!"
He squeals and excitedly flaps his hands, continuing to go on about how 'Mommy tried to give him a baby, but it didn't work'
Slapping his hand over his face, he's so embarrassed, blushing all the way down his neck and up his ears. He shakes his head and growls. "SHHH!!! That's not what I meant!! We can't even have a baby moron!" I mean, who wouldn't be embarrassed about their partner OPENLY talking about their past relations in public?
So- He does what every person does when their partner is obsessed with babies by can't have any.
He takes him to the thrift store to pick one out.
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Alright let’s talk about the fandom. Seriously.
Immaturity and bad takes are impossible to avoid since this is literally a book for pre to post teens, a lot of older people either love or grew up with it, but have left because of the loud majority of minors. This post is mostly for those younger people, so keep that in mind.
I’ll just say this real quick, if you’re 12 and under. Get off, it’s truly for your own safety you shouldn’t even be online, be patient and wait, it will be worth it I promise. Young minds should definitely NOT be interacting with this fandom at all.
These books and the fandom means a lot to me, and to see it on fire breaks my heart, so here I propose some temporary solutions and suggestions:
Draw people’s ocs! No matter how off cannon or op they may be, this fandom is full of children and a little kindness can go a long way
Encourage nuance, I know it’s not our job to parent the kids who are left abandoned on the internet, but I think it’s important to understand where these kids are coming from. Learning is hard for some but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be held accountable for your actions. Differing opinions might be trivial to some who grew up in an echo chamber of the same views as them, so take a mindful approach of sharing new ideas, don’t just say “This idea is correct and because you don’t think it is you’re wrong”.
Positivity and kindness. This one is very important, you need to listen to one another and give everyone a chance to speak, there are so many diverse people across the fandom and we all just want to enjoy our dragons. Ruining the fun by harassing innocent people is not okay, relax a bit and step back, this is all just a series about a fictional species with rules that can be easily bent for fan content, everyone is having fun together, and you can either watch, partake, or ruin it.
I think that’s all I have to say for now, I just love psychology and growing minds are fascinating to me, I love children with all of my heart (not like that) and it’s upsetting to see them fighting with each other or getting dog piled by older people! Please, this fandom has to be way more mindful of it wants to continue, minors in fandoms are unavoidable but you can easily make 16-18+ servers or groups.
With that being said, I genuinely love you all and I wish to see this thrive, continue doing your art, your writing, or whatever the hell you do, I’ve seen so much amazing mixed media projects about these dragons and it makes me so happy that people are sharing this stuff with the world. I love you artists, fellow fandom siblings, and to all else who reads this, have a good day/night 💖
.
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balkanradfem · 1 day
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Okay so I know I just hit you all with the controversial chestnut poll, but I have some new development in life that I want to complain about, and in order for me to complain about it, I need to give you the context.
I don't particularly want to give you the context. You're going to diagnose me with female socialization, and some of you will feel the urge to click the anonymous ask button and tell me off. Today I need you to fight that urge! I am feeling insecure, I am feeling lost, I'm not certain in my choices, I've acted without thinking, and got myself into a situation I can't control. So please don't be mean to me. I deserve to complain on the internet and not be called out, alright?
So this is the story of how I accidentally became a live-in caretaker for an injured, elderly woman. It's temporary! She'll get better, hopefully.
I worked for her occasionally, and she's always been kind to me. She would give me a little jar of jam sometimes, and I love little jars of jam, it's a way to win my heart. A few days ago, she called me in a panic, telling me she fell, and she needs my help. I came over, and found out she broke her arm in two places, and one of her rib is broken. She fell unconscious, after being dizzy all day, and fell on a big metal lantern, breaking it. She was now in so much pain she couldn't get up by herself, dress herself, or do any kind of household tasks. She went to the ER, got her arm wrapped up, and was trying to get a pain injection. I helped her get trough the day, and promised to come early next morning, to help her up from the bed.
Next day I found her in tears in her bed, unable to get up, desperate to go to the bathroom. It became clear she needed 24/7 assistance, and she asked me if I would move in until she got better. I said yes without thinking, because I was at this point, severely concerned, and wanted to do anything to help her out.
So this is all not so bad, right, I'm being normal, it's normal to offer help to an injured elderly woman who is nice, but there's a catch. She doesn't live alone. She lives with her older husband. Who is also disabled and can't help her at all. So in order to help her out.. I had to move into a place where a male lives. That is the worst part of this.
I'm still in the first few days of living like this, and my own life had to fall to the background. I can't go foraging for chestnuts every day, I can't go to my garden as much, I'm still going to work, just from her place. I'm overwhelmed and struggling to get used to the new situation. I'm not used to being around people at all, and now I'm forced to socialize almost all day. Caring for someone comes fairly natural! I'm already so in sync with her, she can just look in the certain direction and I know what she wants me to do. I've figured out where everything is in her kitchen, closet, and basement. She's pleased that I know how to do basic household tasks, and am willing to do it in her way. And she's nice, she's telling me things like 'thank you' and 'what would I do without you', which feels good. But I am very exhausted and sleep deprived, she wakes me up at 1am, and then 5am again, and I'm unable to fall back asleep in a room I lack familiarity with. I miss my room.
She and her husband said they were going to pay me, and in my natural ways, I said something like 'no you don't need to' which I feel like everyone will get mad at me for, but they did insist they would pay me anyway. I as usual lack the sense to care about money – someone's arm is broken, that's way more serious issue to me!
Alright so now to the part of the post I wanted to write, a fun poll where you guess, what has her awful husband done by this point :) go ahead and guess!
You have one day to guess! Which one of these scenarios happened in the first few days of his wife breaking three bones in her body. I'll tell you the correct option tomorrow!
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bigfan-fanfic · 1 day
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I'd Hammer in the Morning (Male!Reader x Thor)
Part One
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"What do you mean, you're quitting?" Tony practically shouts.
"Hey, hey, I didn't say the Q-word."
"But you are."
"I... I'm going to be moving to Asgard, Tony. I can't be your personal assistant from a realm away."
Tony fidgets, swinging an arm in your direction. "A 'realm away?' Look how they've got you talking - you can say 'realm' with a straight face!"
"Please don't make this difficult." you try to get that stern but kind note in your voice that Frigga gets when managing Odin or Thor, but you don't quite get there.
"Fine, I won't. Recharge, I don't accept your resignation."
"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way."
"Don't care." Tony quips petulantly. When Pepper walks in, he immediately bursts out. "Recharge is quitting!"
Pepper smiles at you. "Yes, he is, and we're so excited for you. Congratulations, Y/N."
Tony's jaw drops.
"I know it's short notice, but Tony's going to host your goodbye party before you leave, if that's alright."
"I am?"
She silences him with a look. Oh, there it is.
"Fine, fine..."
And with that, after an all-too-wild party that Pepper does her best to manage, you're ready to leave Midgard as your primary residence.
Thor meets you atop the Avengers Tower, the burning runic circle etched into the helipad, little drones already trying to clear up the ash and cinders.
You run to his arms, excited to see him.
"Did you truly think I would not wish to witness every moment of your arrival to my home? Our home, now." Thor chuckles.
"No, I actually thought I was going to awkwardly have to call Heimdall."
You notice a few other Asgardians are here, glancing around interestedly. "Father is eager for your arrival. He assumed you'd have more... luggage. Insisted I bring porters."
You don't really have much more than a couple large suitcases and a few boxes to contain everything you own. Tony had insisted on digitizing all of your books and movies and games and ensuring you'd have communication and internet even on Asgard with a tiny prism he assured you had a copy of JARVIS on it for your use.
It's his way of showing he cares, because he can't go more than two sentences without snarking, by law, apparently.
"Wait... your father is eager for my arrival? I... I kinda thought Lord Odin wasn't too fond of Midgardians."
"No, he's not disdainful, simply... he worries about me. Our... lifespans."
You balk instinctively, the notion that Thor may long outlive you a little depressing. "Oh."
"But he seems to be much more open. So either he has a plan, or you have simply won him over as a mortal that can wield Mjolnir and learn my mother's seidr."
You do recall Odin becoming more warm to your presence, especially once you got over the hump of learning magic and started to transcend your electrokinesis. Frigga, of course, loves you. "A plan? To, like... deal with my lifespan?"
"Perhaps. Mother mentioned something about a coronation gift."
"Wow, all of this for your boyfriend? They're that eager to have me?"
"All of Asgard is eager. To be completely honest..." Thor chuckles, almost nervously. "I believe they expect a proposal soon."
"Oh." You chuckle a little, almost nervous as well. "And should they?"
"My prince... my king... you know this has been the greatest year of my life. I am more than eager to share all my days with you."
"Thor... I love you too."
"Then perhaps a proposal is not far off at all." He smirks. "Now, are you certain this is all your luggage?"
"Yes. Underwhelming, I know."
"Not at all. It simply means you will have plenty of room for the gifts I will shower you with."
You giggle. And then it hits you that you are truly leaving Earth. You frown softly, looking around as nostalgia crashes over you in waves.
"What ails you, my love?"
"Just... it's suddenly very hard to leave."
Thor takes you in his arms and kisses you. "I swear that as long as the Bifrost stands, I shall take you to Midgard whenever you wish."
You kiss him back. "You're sweet. But... it's just the change. It's always a big moment. But I'm not leaving home, not really. I'm coming home. To you. To Odin and Frigga. Even to Loki."
Thor grins. "Truly, you think of my misguided brother as your family?"
You nod. "Frigga and I have been taking lessons outside his cell lately as part of his rehabilitation."
His eyes shine with something surpassing gratitude and admiration.
"My king... allow me the honor of bringing you home."
And in a flash of rainbow and lightning, he does.
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lady-boketto · 15 hours
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Gaming Headcanons (Call of Duty)
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A/n: This is not canon at all and I thought it would be fun to think about what kind of games and gamer the CoD men would be
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Price:
Price does not have a lot of gaming experience but he likes to be included in game nights
He's the one who rages the most when he is playing games (but it's mostly when he is playing multiplayer games)
Price prefers board games rather than digital ones (likes the atmosphere that is created when gathering around the table with close friends to sit down and have some fun it)
Don't ever ask him to play poker because he can and will kick your ass (unless you are a poker legend or you manage to cheat without him noticing)
He has his own personal chess board to play with (it's a nice quality wooden one that's not too big so that he can bring it with him to pass time when he doesn't have access to the internet)
Gaz:
A true master of gaming, like there's no game out there that this man won't be good at
Also kind of a sore loser when someone finally manages to beat him, Gaz kind of lets out this big sigh and crosses his arms over his chest while looking off into the corner but he doesn't stay this way for long, it more of a 'in the moment' situation (Gaz is more frustrated that he wasn't good enough to win this round but knows there will be other chances)
Gaz equally enjoys playing digital games as much as he does when he plays a board game (his favorite board game to play is monopoly, since he can get very strategic while he plays and is very easily annoyed when he's sitting in monopoly jail)
Soap:
Johnny is the person who tries to tell stories over the mic only to realize that he's been on mute for the past ten minutes (the rest of the group was wondering why he was so quiet all of the sudden)
He also has a Nintendo switch ( He has a Nintendo lite in the color blue) but he loves playing Mario Kart or any of the Mario Parties and loves it when you get frustrated when he steals first place or star from you (he gives his famous laugh and pecks your cheek while telling you how much he loves you while committing the vile act)
Trolls/griefs a ton. He thinks it's funny when other players scream curse words at him and never misses an opportunity to provoke them even further. (he laughs his ass off when they rage quit or if he has to read their attempt to argue back at him in the game chat)
He actually likes spending multiple hours on a game. Grinding to get the best stuff just so he can brag about it the next day.
Soap also does occasionally broadcast his game play with others (because he likes to look back on the memories when he feeling alone or that he just needs something to cheer his mood up a little)
Ghost:
Ghost is the type of person who would say they only play multiplayer games but likes to secretly play the cozy single player games like animal crossing and Stardew Valley (he rant to you about how unfair Isabella is when rating his island a mere 3 stars or how he often forgets to go back to his house before 2 am because he was too focused on the monsters and loot in the mines.)
Even though he doesn’t mind online multiplayer games to play with the rest of squad 141, he also doesn’t mind to play co-op games with you (his favorites to play are it takes two or playing some version of call of duty zombies on a split screen, he takes pride in protecting you in co-op games or he shyly admits a thank you when you revive him)
He just likes strategic games in general, you will find him often playing chess with Price ( when you watch them play, they always take the longest time possible to make their move, it seems like they both go through every possible move until they find the best position to move forward but the game is always interrupted by something that needs one or the other’s attention)
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tseliius · 3 days
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this a public service announcement
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ok ok. since we got the devil may cry netflix trailer today i’ve seen my close friends getting worried over what’s gonna happen to the fanbase after it releases and if viewership increases.
buckle in because this is a sorta long post
for those of you who don’t know, the devil may cry anime is apparently in the same extended universe (of sorts) as netflix’s castlevania.
in the past, when castlevania got big, new fans began to flock to the fandoms and get to posting, as fans do. all was well.
except it kinda wasn’t.
some newer fans were not as kind to fans of the castlevania video games, and instead of- i dunno, playing the games themselves and experiencing the reason why we have a castlevania show in the first place, they decided to completely disregard and ignore them and the fans, and essentially substitute the games’ canon with the show’s canon.
these fans, sometimes, were very disrespectful towards the older fans and the love they held for the original video games. my friends were there to see it happen (on this very site, no less) and it was incredibly disheartening for them to see.
i would also be hurt if someone, who is a fan of a newer installment in my favorite franchise that has a new continuity, completely disregard the previous canon and the love that older fans like me have for it and just substitute it with the new one without once acknowledging or engaging with us in the first place.
if this sounds nitpicky, it’s just because i’m bad at words — if you understand what i’m getting at so far, then great!! now let me get to the main point.
there is a good possibility of new fans coming in when the anime comes out next spring, and if you originally knew nothing about devil may cry and you will be watching the anime for yourself, then:
1. welcome to the crew. we have pizza!
2. this message is for you!!!
i will also be watching the new anime! i’m always excited to have new people to talk about something i love with. however, i am also a fan of the original video games. i may not be good at them, but i love them.
if you decide to engage with us in any way, we welcome you, but we humbly ask this of you:
be kind.
it is okay if you like the show’s canon more than the games’ canon! if you haven’t given the games a try and you want to, then please do!!! don’t let the difficulty spike fool you — there’s good shit in there, we promise.
however, we ask that you don’t completely disregard or ignore the original games, or be disrespectful to older fans in any way. that can be disheartening to a lot of people, and a little exhausting considering how i’ve detailed that this has happened before.
tl;dr, be kind and civil to your fellow devil hunters, people. we love this just as much as you do, and we want to share that love with all of you as a community.
but y’know, i’m just a strange gal on the internet. i’m not your mom.
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hope this reaches the right people. don’t forget: i love you! 🩷
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TWST BOY + AFAB YUU/OC HEADCANONS
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Okie doke o7
Sebek:
Dude's a crocodile... there are two ways we can take this! (Both hilarious)
A.) Lilia never bothered teaching them about mammalian reproduction! Thus he is terrified you're dying! Then he needs to have it explained and is still terrified!
Is very concerned that you bleed out for a week every single month for your whole life (unless something happens or after you reach a certain age), and honestly doesn't quite believe you
B.) He does know about mammalian proceses, but only in theory! He's never experienced it up close
Still very terrified and concerned!
More than willing to get anything you need and keep you as happy as possible
Impossibly relieved once the week is over and it's definitely a period (hah) he dreads every month
He soldiers on though, through the terror and trauma, because he loves you XD
Epel:
Has definitely had 'how to treat a person right when they're on their period' hammered into his head from a young age
Makes cute little apple carvings and sweet treats for you all the time (though he'd do that anyway methinks)
He struts through the tampon/pad aisle with his head held high, there's no shame in buying these! (No one gives him a sideways look hardly ever though because of his feminine appearance)
More than ready to throw hands with any ignoramuses who get uppity with you (again though, methinks he'd always do that anyway XD)
Definitely knows an herbal concoction recipe that Grandma Felmier gave him for cramps, swears up and down that it works
It does :)
Malleus:
Again, not human and very much concerned when you start
Got the same teaching as Sebek so both A and B apply here too
I think instead of fearful, he'd be curious
Doing everything he can to make you comfortable, and committing it all to memory
He definitely hovers a lot (more than usual) when he learns how miserable it can be
He uses magic when he can to help, even for small things
Anything for you
@internet-freakkkk
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ganondoodle · 11 months
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i know im an overemotional, overreactive pathetic little wimp about my hyperfixation, and i dont even mean that derogatory, i think its both my best AND worst quality, im well aware of it, especially in moments when im already stressed i have a hard time to get my brain back into control, im so well aware of it that i HAVE been managing to learn how to deal with it actually which is why, instead of letting myself spiral any further, i went to bed to let my brain calm down
and it worked!
i still hate the live action zelda thing, i still think it WILL be bad, and it will still negatively affect how i feel about the franchise as a whole, i am not spiraling out of control about it though, which i think is a win in my book, some people hate that i say my opinion at all though, more on twitter than here so hey, im grateful to not be called pathetic to my face bc i said something someone might decry as too 'weird'
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 3 months
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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hella1975 · 1 year
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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hurglewurm · 1 year
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me: keeps drawing random one-off fanarts from things that aren't currently big at all
also me: why no notes on my arte
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me, hyped up about Star Trek Enterprise again after finishing my beloved season 3: I wonder if there are any posts about it on tumblr *searches*
me, twenty minutes later, closing the results: ah. I see. it has suffered from fandomification, where fans threw out canon and replaced it with fanon. one hundred and thirty seven polls asking "what was your first/favorite star trek" and it is at the bottom of every one. this between 14million other posts about every other star trek series. some funny memes thrown in for ~flavor~. great. wonderful. I'll just go back into my happy little corner with my parents who unironically enjoy the show with me then.
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cathalbravecog · 1 year
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i'm the antonymph of the internet
#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life#MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do.#unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !!#i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi#from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D#this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but...#haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one#anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character#ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so#much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite.#fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online#a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more#fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her#too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders#standing!!#anyways from me just having fun being me#i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic#and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.#anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah#toontown#toontown corporate clash#antonymph#guz art#rainmaker
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risingsunresistance · 3 months
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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averlym · 1 year
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HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical
:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf
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have a doodle of the saints :3
#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly#adamandi#ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it#i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh#the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice#also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real#also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me#giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day#internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O#anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane#on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery#side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i#the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all#between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio#but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal#life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you#appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah
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