#i love how despite them being in character and not remembering who they are

[clare-875]

Until The End (Levi x Reader)- Chapter 26

[The Waiting Game]

_____ A/N: Posted on Wattpad (@CLARE_875) but also decided to post here :)

Summary:

"You can push me away, but I will still fight by you, and I will still follow you… until the end."

The ever-so-stoic Levi Ackerman has only ever known the terrors that living in a cruel world could bring. This all changed one fateful day when he encountered [y/n]; a girl renowned for her looks and abnormal speed. As they escape the confines of the Underground together, they soon discover that freedom doesn't come easy in a world full of Titans. As they rise through the ranks, [y/n] becomes known as "Humanity's Angel", a beacon of hope to humanity as she melts the walls Levi had built around his heart. However, she has her secrets too, and a dark past that might just threaten to pull them apart.

The storyline and characters of Attack on Titan do NOT belong to me, but all to Hajime Isayama; however, I do own this story, and all that occurs disparate to that storyline.

[Series Masterlist] [Chapter Twenty-Five] <--> [Chapter Twenty-Seven] _____

[Three Months Later]

It had been three months. Three months since Levi felt the whisper of your touch, heard the fleeting sound of your voice, and saw your angelic smile as you gazed up at him. He was doing no better than that retched day when he found out that you had been stolen from him, by the enemy he swore to kill; to destroy. He could feel himself slowly losing his mind. He rarely left your shared chambers. He rarely ate anything. He rarely slept at all, and even when he did, he was plagued by nightmares of your screaming, your voice taunting him. He still remembers those dreams, haunted by them even in his wake as you call out to him desperately or berate him for his lack of strength in saving you. The worst ones are where you say nothing at all, silent with your blank eyes looking at him devoid of love or life. 

Hange is worried, to say the least. It had been two months since they caught him trying to flee the walls to look for you himself. They had berated him as he crumbled under your absence. How they needed to be more prepared, how the enemy spanned wider than he could possibly imagine. How he would die if he left alone. But Levi didn't care anymore. He didn't know where you were, if you were hurt, if you were being tortured... he didn't even know if you were alive. He was utterly exhausted, utterly heartbroken and he didn't know what to say or do. The usual cleanliness he held himself to starts to deteriorate around him. Now clothes and belongings lay scattered on the floor, broken glass haphazardly swept to the side, the trace of his rage several nights ago. Levi was glad that most of the duties left for the people inside the wall were to rebuild the town of Shiganshina after all the Titans within Wall Maria were eventually killed. 

It meant he was finally free to wallow in the absence of prying eyes. Hange was shocked when they walked in one night to see him, back against the wall, drinking alcohol from the bottle. So devoid of the man they knew refusing the drink they claimed was foul. What they once hoped would be better tamed by time was turning into the opposite. No matter how many weeks passed Hange couldn't remember a single day the dark aura didn't cloud Levi's presence, an embodiment of depression and loss. His usually pale completion seemed somehow paler and his cheeks slightly more sucken in. Hange couldn't remember the number of times they had to drag him out of his room or force him to eat and shower and look after himself. 

The man who had usually seemed so composed as he eyed death in the face. The man that had faced so much loss in his life, but somehow remained strong and rebounded for the next battle was lost in his misery. It was worse than Hange could've imagined. Hange and the rest of the Scouts suffered as well. Despite the many losses of the Scouts and Commander Erwin, somehow your absence hit harder. What sadness that was usually cured by your kind words, what comfort that would be provided by your warm embrace was now lost to them. And now Hange feels as though they had lost all of the people they used to call a friend. They missed your encouraging words, Erwin's certainty, Mobilt and their squad's presence and would do anything for even a snarky response from Levi. Now, the Scout Regiment's headquarters was barren, cold and silent. 

Levi was at a total loss as he lost himself in the lack of light you usually brought him. Sat slouching on his desk his pen moved across the page robotically filling the lines of paperwork he somehow was still left with. But nothing was enjoyable about it now. He couldn't hear your sweet muttering about your day or feel as you quietly undid the sore muscles in his shoulders. He was still waiting for you to open the door like you usually do, smiling softly with a pot of tea and two mugs in your hand. Levi felt a teardrop fall from his face and onto the current page he was working on, slightly smearing the ink, but he could only grit his teeth. He rubbed at his face harshly trying to continue without breaking down or losing himself in his rage, things he admits to have done several times these past few months. He wanted to kill Zeke. He wanted to find you.

He reaches for the next piece of paper in the massive pile on his desk but accidentally ends up knocking the entirety of its contents on the floor. Levi feels the lack of patience creep in as he snaps the pen in his hands in half before he groans and goes to pick up the pages now scattered on the floor. His heart is heavy in the screaming silence of the room and he swears he hears ringing in his ears from the intensity of it as he slowly picks up the pages. His eyes then go to the underside of the armchair in the room to reach for another piece of paper before his hand falters at the sight of a small green box underneath it. He freezes before he decides to pick it up. He puts his papers down and sits on the couch, he had never seen this before. But as he opens it, his heart gets caught in his throat as he sees the carefully folded pieces of paper, your handwriting spilled upon them. 

My dearest Levi, 

If you're reading this, I'm afraid it means I was unable to fulfil my promise. 

I know you are probably angry and I don't expect you to forgive me but Levi, I just wanted to thank you for all that you have done for me, for all of this time. When I met you in those barren streets of the Underground so many years ago, I could've never imagined my saviour could turn into such a loyal friend. I could've never imagined we would remain by each other's side and grow up with each other. I never let myself think that you could ever return my growing feelings, but you did. 

You were my light in my darkest moments. You were the safety I could always rely on. You were everything to me Levi. Every time I look at you, every smile you spare me, every kind gesture or remark, I remember it all. Just know that in my final moments, I only think of you. I only remember the warmth you gave me and the freedom and life you provided me. I will never blame you Levi, whatever happens, so don't blame yourself because I know you are. 

You gave me a life worth living. 

I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye though Levi. All I ask is that you don't do anything reckless and that you look after yourself. That is all I would ever want from you. You are such an incredible man with incredible strength, I know you will overcome this as you have done everything else. You have so much more to live for Levi, embrace your time here on this Earth, do it for me, for the both of us. 

Even in my absence just know that I will still fight by you and I will still be with you, always. I will wait for you my love, until you meet your end, which hopefully awaits far into the future. 

I know we never believed in saying these three words in the cruel world we live in, but Levi, I truly and irrevocably mean it when I say, I love you. 

Stay safe my love, until we meet again. 

[y/n] 

Levi can't help it now when his grip tightens on the pages of your writing and hot tears stream down his face. He fights to keep quiet in the dark and barren room that lacks the warmth of your touch; he wants to scream. He didn't know if you were still alive out there, but he swore to himself he would find you. He would find you and berate you for writing a letter after promising you'd stay with him. He would embrace you like nothing else mattered in the world. He would return the three words he was stupid enough to think didn't matter in a life shrouded by death. He would never let you go again. 

Levi let himself wallow for a few more moments in his armchair before he got up, retrieving his papers. Until then he would have to go on; until he would see you again. And then, he would present to you the small box he had in the back of his drawer. A box that contained a symbol of his promise and his love, all embedded in a dainty ring. 

.... 

[6 Months Later]

You let out a groan as you stared at the blank ceiling in boredom. It had been 9 months since you had been kidnapped or "saved" according to Zeke and you were starting to lose your mind. Levi. You missed him so much, but most of all you were worried. You hoped he was okay. You missed his warm embrace and the smiles he would spare you every day. You missed the quiet moments the both of you would share. You missed your late-night chats and cups of tea. You would do anything to be home, with him, but you can't. Not for another 3 months at least. After the events that followed your abduction, you had learnt more about the outside world, though you must admit you had seen very little of it. 

Zeke rarely let you leave the small room he had confined you to, in trepidation that you would be found by the Marleyan government or find your way to Eren. However, that didn't mean you had done nothing these past few months. Any spare moments you had continued with your training to maintain your physical capabilities, but also to spare your boredom. Other times you met with the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers. They were a bunch of interesting characters, to say the least. You couldn't say if you fully trusted them yet but you could tell that their devotion, especially the woman Yelena, to Zeke was undeniable. 

You hadn't met any of the other Titans including Reiner during your stay, but you were surprised as you learned that the Cart Titan, the one also responsible for your kidnapping should know you were there. You. An enemy on their territory. But you soon learnt that it was through the work of Zeke that they hadn't found you; him and his manipulative ways. During your stay, you had also been informed that Marley was currently in a state of war. The Marley Mid-East War. With Marley's operation to retain Eren failing, and the Colossal and Female Titan lost to Paradis, Marley's military capabilities were greatly reduced. This was noticed by the Mid-East Allied forces, a collection of nations that were against Marley, resulting in a war declared. 

With the development of Anti-Titan artillery by the Allied forces and the lack of Titans on Marley's part, it seemed like a close battle that still saw not an inkling of an end. Due to this, you had barely really seen Zeke, but it had also meant that you and the Anti-Marley Volunteers could plan your course of infiltration on the Marley fleet that would head to Paradis in three months without much disturbance. You let out a sigh. You didn't know whether you could ever fully trust Zeke and his endeavours, but you knew that Paradis desperately needed technological advancements and support, and that was what he was willing to supply. With an enemy as large as the entire surrounding world, and the continuous developments that render Titans more and more ineffective, you could no longer rely on the skill sets and resources the Scouts have developed. You would need all the help you could get, and so you reluctantly agreed to help them help you. 

You look up, breaking away from your thoughts as your door opens. It's Zeke. You sit up, you haven't seen the man in two months. "Ah, [y/n], you're still here." You roll your eyes. You won't lie, you did attempt earlier in your stay here to escape. But you soon realised how risky and useless it was in a massive town, surrounded by enemies and with no idea where to go. You had hoped to return before anyone noticed but you guess Zeke was somehow informed anyway. "Only for the time being," you mutter out before crossing your arms. "And the war," you continue as you look at the man who sits down tiredly in a chair next to the bed where you sat. "How is it going?" Zeke lets out a deep sigh. "It's rough, but we're managing." A long awkward silence takes over as you realise you have nothing else to say, that is, until Zeke speaks up once more. 

"You're leaving in three months." He says it like a question and a statement at the same time. "That's right," you mutter diverting your gaze to the floor. "I'm going home. I'm afraid you won't have me to keep you company anymore." You say sarcastically as you let out a tired sigh. He lets out a half-hearted smile. "You know, it might seem like we're on two sides of one war, but we're more likeminded than you think." He says dully, clearly exhausted after the day's events. "I'll miss you [y/n], it's nice to have a sane mind around here sometimes.” You grit your teeth before laughing humourlessly. "I have somewhere I need to be. Paradis needs those advancements we made and I've already been away for too long…" Your thoughts drift to the man you love once more, feeling the deep pit of homesickness grow without him by your side.

"Is it Levi?" 

You look at him, eyes widening in surprise, but Zeke looks at you, eyes grim as he sees yours glisten in the lamp by your bedside, illuminated against the darkened sky outside. "What about him?" You say trying to divert the attention away, but you already know he's caught on. "The Ackerman, huh... Funny the man who tries to kill me, is rather devoted to you." You tense at the sudden dangerous atmosphere. "What are you going to do?" You ask, unliking the heavy air that surrounds you. "Give me relationship advice? Use me against him? Restrain me here, not allowing me to go back!?" Zeke shakes his head at your rising words leaning back in his chair. "I already told you; I don't plan to keep you here any longer than I need you to. I told you I would help you return in a year, and I plan to keep my word…" There is a short silence before he speaks again.

"If it comes down to it, would you allow Levi to kill me?"

Zeke’s low voice echoes the small room as you look at him, your face grim. It's a question asked dully, but you know that Zeke is curious about what you will say. You allow the quiet to consume him for a second, but you already know your answer. "Yes." You say simply like it was the easiest answer in the world. There is a pause before Zeke lets out a low laugh that turns louder before he composes himself. "Is that right?" He mutters as he looks to you amused; this only makes your irritation for the man grow. "Then you won't blame me if I give my all in killing him?" It's your turn to go silent before you look at him like he'd grown two heads. "I'd like to see you try Zeke," you say before you let out a demonic but tired grin. "But I think we both know you'd end up in your grave long before you touch a strand of his hair." 

"Is that right?" Zeke repeats still amused at your obvious confidence in the man you're so fond of. "I'd make sure of it myself." You say quietly as you turn away once more, missing Levi's presence more than ever. Maybe if he was here, he'd beat the man up for you. Zeke lets out a deep sigh, his gaze turning more serious again as he looks at you. "I get it, I get it," he says as he looks at your more withered form. Despite having fed you often, you rarely ate enough these days, he could see it in your eyes, the turmoil that came with the absence of the man you missed. Despite knowing you kept up with your training, you somehow seemed smaller, more tired, more... lifeless. "I didn't come here to taunt you like this." You laugh at his words but it doesn't reach your eyes. You turn to him. "Really? I could've sworn that's all you're capable of." 

He grins but says nothing. "I actually wanted to let you know the plan. You will be heading to Paradis in three months after all and it's coming up soon." You look at him eyes sparking at the revelation. "I also have a message for the Scouts... a list of my demands." 

..... 

[3 months later]

You stand in a Marleyan uniform, head low as you stand next to Yelena in the same uniform. Your heart pounds against your chest. Thanks to Zeke's interference things have been smooth sailing so far. You take a moment of everyone readying for their arrival to Paradis to look up to the sky. You see the millions of stars lining the dark sky. You take in an intake of breath and embrace the cool air that has a hint of salt on it. You look forward and now glance at the dark horizon. Despite the lack of light, you embrace the sight of the ocean. If you were alone, you swear you could cry. You feel every rock of the wave, you feel cold bursts of water spraying periodically into the air. It was just like that night all those years ago. Except back then, you had been shrouded in your mother's warm embrace as she held you, escaping your deaths. 

It was bittersweet. The dreams that you found out to be reality held so much more depth and darkness than you could have imagined. Yet, you long for the man you've waited to see for more than a year. One day [y/n], you'll understand. You'll meet a man you love so much you just can't let go. You think back to your mother's words to you that day she made it to the walls, only to die with the rising sun. Well, I've met him mother. You think to yourself. And I won't let him go, not ever again. Yelena looks at you discreetly and observes the nostalgic look you have on your face as you look at the dark ocean. She says nothing as the voice of the man in charge rings through the air. The ship stops, static in the water, as the first team of soldiers board a smaller boat, and we wait for them to go ashore. 

..... 

"Captain! The team that went ashore hasn't made contact for more than two hours!" You hear the voice of a Marleyan man in the distance talking to the man in charge. "Hmm. Prepare to send teams two and three." The man says to the soldier, a hint of urgency in his voice. "Yes, sir!" The voice of the same man replies. "The island of devils defeated the Warrior unit. Whatever the cost, Marley must learn what happened." You grit your teeth at the Captain's words but stay silent towards the back of the boat. But suddenly the boat starts to shake from under you. Your heart pounds in your chest as you quickly go to stabilise yourself watching as suddenly the ocean is not at eye level anymore. 

You grab onto the railing tightly, watching as soldiers in front of you topple down the boat, some falling into the ocean, as the boat rises from the ocean into the sky. "Hang on!" You hear the voices of the soldiers scream out in agony and fear, but then you hear the Captain's voice confirm your suspicions. "I-It's a devil!" Sure enough, the familiar sight of Eren holds the massive boat up into the sky. You feel yourself smile slightly despite your current predicament; you were home. Eren's Titan takes long thunderous steps that cause your grip on the railings to tremble as he takes the boat to shore. Then suddenly you feel weightless as Eren carelessly drops the boat onto the body of sand below. You topple, landing harshly. Could’ve been a bit gentler Eren. You frown at your aching back before you sit up, you can't blame him really, he didn't even know you were there. 

You quickly get up though, as you hear a familiar voice rise from a distance. "Hello, friends from Marley! Welcome to Paradis Island!" It's Hange. You feel your heart uplift but you force yourself to be patient, grabbing the gun fastened on your hip in preparation. "I'm Hange, here to greet our guests who've come so far across the sea! Now, step this way and join us for some tea! By the way, we're already friends with this guest that arrived before you! Isn't that right Nicolo!" You hear Hange's bright voice filling the air. They never change. You think to yourself as you slowly move out of the shadows and take a peek over the boat's railing. You see Hange in the distance next to a blond-haired man you recognise to be a Marleyan soldier, not on your side.

Then your eyes avert. It had been one year since you'd seen him, but even from a distance, you knew it was him. The raven locks, the unfaltering expression on his face. Levi. Your heart pounds, anticipation brimming inside of you, forcing yourself to calm down. "Captain! Forget about me and shoot these devils!" You hear the soldier held captive next to Hange yell out to you. "-What are you saying, Nicolo?!" Hange interrupts as you see their face change into one you could only describe as demonic as they get closer to Nicolo's face. "Captain!" The soldier continues to shout. "Nicolo! Understand this, you devils! Marely doesn't mingle with filthy blood!" The Captain of the ship yells out to Hange as you walk towards him readying your gun, trying to ignore the anger in your system. 

The Captain aims his gun towards Hange, Nicolo and Levi, readying to shoot. "Go drink your pig piss with your filthy friends!" You hear the shout of Hange reach the air in exasperation. "Aww! Hey! You sure you wanna be rude to us?! Can't you see the Titan behind you?!" Sure enough, Eren's Titan remained silently looming over our vessel watching us carefully, steam bellowing from his large figure. "We'll never yield to you devils! Say hello to this!" The Captain refocuses his gun on Hange once more, readying to shoot, you see Yelena's hands twitch for her gun, but you're quicker. You raise your gun to the air whilst the other soldiers are distracted. Hange lets out a squeal as they look at the Captain with the weapon in his hand. 

A lone gunshot pierces the air. 

There is a deep silence. You watch as the Captain in front of you stumbles, before falling to the ground. Blood seeped through his head, as he looked blankly to nothing, steam flowing from the gun you held in your hand. "You should really be more polite to your hosts," You say darkly, as Yelena approaches from behind you, tension rising as your voice fills the air. Levi suddenly looks up at your form, heart pounding relentlessly at the familiar sound. "What's this?" A soldier yells to your left pointing a gun towards you, but Yelena points her gun at the man speaking calmly. "Drop your weapons." With that, more soldiers point their guns at you, but the disguised Anti-Marleyan volunteers come behind them returning the favour. You had the upper hand, the Marleyan soldiers held at gunpoint and outnumbered. 

Yelena takes off the helmet she wore before turning to Hange, who is still frozen in the spot. "Hange, I'd be happy to accept your invitation." She says, looking at them, still silent. Everyone's eyes are focused on you however, as you also take your helmet off your head, not knowing why you suddenly feel so nervous. Your [h/c] hair spills from the helmet, your [e/c] eyes now visible, along with the angelic features they thought they would never see again. You look up, only to see that Hange and Levi look at you as though they had seen a ghost. "Let's have tea," Yelena shouts from next to you, as you look at the two of them, tears now brimming in your eyes. You were finally here, after so long. 

"It's been a while, Hange... Levi." 

_____

A/N: We're entering the final season! Thanks for reading <3

[Chapter Twenty-Five] <--> [Chapter Twenty-Seven]

Tags: @batboygirlie

[rory-multifandom-mess]

i see you've gotten yourself into the rabbit hole that is the transformers franchise! So here's a simple question:

Out of all the iterations you've seen, who's your favorite Autobot and favorite Decepticon?

Oh my GOODDD. Give me a second to even remember all the iterations I’ve seen one second

Ok so MTMTE/LL, Prime, Rescue Bots and Rescue Bots Acadamy, Animated, and Armada. I’ll start with Animated because that was the first one I was introduced to.

~~~~

Tranformers: Animated - Favorite Autobot has definitely got to be Bumblebee, but Jazz is a close second. I see a lot of myself in that lil yellow guy— constantly being picked on for his height, self esteem issues that come off as over confidence, constantly wanting to prove himself— yeah that’s just me but in robot font. And much worse. Jazz being a close second is entirely because he was just really cool.

Now my favorite Decepticon from Animated is 1,000% Blitzwing. I fucking LOVED his german accent and his personality switch gimmick. I hope it’s not disrespectful to call it a gimmick, but like. If you watch the show it really is just a gimmick. You got the cold and calm one, usually the main face, the brute with all the anger in the world, and then the Batshit Crazy guy. He’s so incredibly silly. I love him.

(The rest under the cut, this is gonna get long)

~~~~

Tranformers: Prime - Favorite Autobot is EAAASILYY Smokescreen. How could you NOT like him??? His character arc is one of, if not THE, best in the whole series. He first joins the Autobots acting like a new cadet, arrogant and sloppy, but raring to fight and throw himself headfirst into battle. He was kind of rude to the others, but through experience and making mistakes, he begins to mature and apologizes when needed. He beats himself up when he makes mistakes, no matter how small (me too).

But then, at the end of season 2 and beginning of season 3 I think, he goes through something traumatic. Optimus, nearly dead, presents the matrix to him, saying that it was time for a new prime, and that prime was to be him. And like. You expect Smokescreen to take it. BUT HE DOESN’T. Instead he goes and brings the Forge of Solus Prime to Optimus and REVIVES HIM.

Smokescreen refuses the Matrix of Leadership, not because he was in denial about Optimus dying, but because he recognized that he wasn’t ready. He showed humility, something he hadn’t shown since he arrived, and he showed compassion. Like. Just. LOOK AT THIS CLIP FROM THE MOVIE.

Anyway. Smokescreen makes me ill. Moving on

My favorite Decepticon from Prime is Shockwave. For no good reason other than god he’s hot. His voice…. his walk….. he could eviscerate me and I’d thank him.

~~~~

MTMTE/LL - Now I would call this IDW but I don’t want to be misleading since I haven’t exactly read every single IDW comic in existence, so I’ll just stick to the story I read a lot. ANYWAY. Favorite autobot is Rung, obviously. Who do you think I am. Lovable psychiatrist who gets forgotten about a lot despite being these bots’ psychiatrist for like 6 centuries (RED ALERT). Anyway. And he has a ✨✨Dark Secret✨✨. Which is. The fact he is LITERALLY GOD. But it’s ok because he didn’t know it either. aND THEN HE DIES AND HIS FINAL WISH IS DON’T FORGET ME AND GUESS WHAT EVERYONE D- [gets shot]

Rung makes me ill.

First Aid is a close second. He also makes me ill. Lengthwise…… (<- obscure reference)

Favorite Decepticon… Is really hard to decide because there are so many good options in MTMTE/LL. I’ll pick two for this one, since they’re part of opposing groups within the Decepticons anyway. Those two are Fulcrum and Kaon.

Fulcrum is part of the Scavengers, along with Krok, Crankcase, Spinister, Misfire, and Flywheels. Though he like instantly dies. Anyway. I think I just really like his design and personality, since there really isn’t any arc with this guy. He’s just silly.

And then there’s Kaon, who is part of the D.J.D. (Decepticon Justice Division. To those who don’t know them, they’re a group of Decepticons lead by Tarn who go around the galaxy killing Decepticons who went rogue, awol, or just strayed up betrayed the Decepticon clause. And they don’t just. Bam dead, they torture their victims, killing them slowly and brutally.) He turns into an electric chair and I mostly like him because of his design and he seems like the silliest of the D.J.D. having that attachment with The Pet n’ all. No character arc to ramble about. I just like him.

~~~~

Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy - Favorite Autobot is Easy Peasy! That would be Hot Shot for mostly the same reasons as Animated Bee and Prime Smokescreen. I see A lot of myself in him, and his character arc is absolutely amazing. Basically the same as Smokescreen’s, except he doesn’t witness someone almost die LMAO

There aren't any Decepticons in RBA, but I will say my favorite of the teacher was Blades, which leads me to my next iteration!

~~~~

Transformers: Rescue Bots - Keep in mind, I'm still in the middle of watching this one, so I'm only up to season 2 episode... 4 or 5, I can't remember. Anyway. Favorite Autobot is Blades, as previously mentioned. He's just so silly, and I adore the fact he's such a huge Bumblebee fan. I love the idea of him, a helicopter, being scared of heights. Me too buddy, me too.

Again RB does not have any decepticons as far as I'm aware, and I hardly remember any of the villains.

~~~~

And lastly, Transformers: Armada - Much like RBA, my favorite Autobot in this whole 4 season long series was Hot Shot. I don't remember his exact character arc since it's been a year since I started watching the show, but I do remember I liked it a lot. He was silly and goofy and, much like Smokescreen, matured over time. Oh, and also GODDAMNIT HIS VOICE. It's so soft and adorable and everything but when he yells oh BOY does he YELL. That shit gets GRAVELLY and HOARSE. Oh and also he's voiced by Brent fuckign Miller, the same dude who voices Zane in Ninjago, so... You can say I'm biased because Zane is my favorite ninja.

And as for favorite Decepticon, though he doesn't end up actually being a Decepticon but he is still an antagonist so I'm counting it anyway, is Sideways. And it's entirely because of his voice because I don't remember what he was like before season 4. IT'S SO FUCKING HOT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT ON THIS.

Also, he's voiced by the same guy who voices Sensei Wu also in Ninjago. Take that as you will.

~~~~

I LOVE RAMBLING!!! WOOOO. Anyway uuh. Here's a long answer to a simple question. Enjoy.

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: VOYAGER - S4E18 The Killing Game, Part 1

[rika-mortis]

Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore

They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package

[blue-eli]

Realised it’s @khoc-week so even though I don’t have the energy to do it daily have this I did a while ago but never posted.

Arxeht my beloved. They came to me in a dream where I was a replica (of multiple people but looked most like Vidar) made by apprentice Nort/Xemnas, who was the fifteenth member of the organisation and also had my knowledge of hit video games Kingdom Hearts and kept getting randomly thrown through space and time.

[pixelsjoy]

Me playing Tears of the Kingdom: As much as I miss the champions, it makes sense they're not mentioned much. It's been a hundred years since they died. Even if they survived the Calamity, most of them would probably be dead at this point. The only exception being Mipha, who would have been the only one that would still be alive if she survived the calamity due to her age. The reason they're still remembered so much in Breath of the Wild is because the Divine Beasts, one of the last remaining connections to them, are still active and looming in Hyrule. Impa also said that their spirits feel uneasy knowing their task of defeating the Calamity wasn't done. They were at peace when the Calamity was defeated and passed on. They're not brought up from that point on because them and their era are over and can be laid to rest.

Also me playing Tears of the Kingdom: - holding back tears - Damn I miss the champions

[thedevotionaltour]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!

[purplelea]

I see people getting enthusiastic about the player polycule but will they still be there when I'll start talking about JoshBeat, BeatShiki and Joshiki? not so sure. a shame since those three ships are extremely interesting as well

[wakanai]

dazai and oda

mushitarou and yokomizo

veraline and rimbaud

koyou and her lover

chuuya and the flags

akutagawa and his friends

ango and oda

kyouka and her parents

ranpo and his parents

tachihara and his brother

yosano and tachihara's brother

francis and his daughter + wife who couldn't bear the pain and became mentally ill

fukuchi and his suboordinates

BSD is full of characters who've suffered the loss of someone close to them and is still in mourning even after they're long gone.

[gavis-bettel]

see id be less reluctant to go back to obey me if the events and especially the event outfits didnt consistently suck absolute dog shit

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ooo you’re doing Pressure!!

May I request an artist reader who, throughout the journey found some paper, pencil and made a little makeshift sketchbook and when later bought Sebastian’s document decided to try and draw him? Like maybe both when human and current (and maybe the monsters)? 

Perhaps he saw them sketching, got curious and decided to look through it when reader left it somewhere or just straight up snatched it and held it out of their reach and sees those sketches of him. Could be hurt/comfort or angst/fluff.

Of course you’re free to change any of the details but please keep it platonic TwT

Aw love this idea! And it works considering all the paper and notebooks in the drawers of the blacksite.

............

"Great, [y/n]. One moment, you're doing some harmless graffiti on a brick wall nobody cares about. And the next, you're risking your life for a stupid crystal in hopes you'll get a federal pardon.."

Sighing, you held onto the overhead handles within the sleek black submarine, feeling it shake and rumble as it breached the water's surface. And after hearing the chime, the door hissed and opened up, the platform extending out onto the dock of a place already familiar to you: Hadal Blacksite.

'No place like home..' As you stepped out of the submarine, you could hear HQ over the PDA system informing you of your objective in reaching the crystal and collecting any "loose assets" you find along the way...

As if you needed any reminders of what you were doing here.

Immediately, you unlocked the first door with the keycard and began your journey to room 100. Along the way, you found a good handful of research data. Nothing too special aside from folders, USB drives, and a couple blue DNA vials.

Then after narrowly dodging the Angler in one area and avoiding Eyefestation's gaze in the next, you reached a room requiring yet another keycard to exit. You checked the nearby office cubicle, finding it in the first drawer you opened.

But that isn't what made your eyes light up. Rather, it's what was right next to the card that did:

A brand new pencil to go with the sketchbook you've been carrying with you.

Because you weren't given the luxury of doodling while sitting in jail for over 90 days, you felt your creativity flames being snuffed out, leaving you itching to draw something again.

Before all of this, you had a decent following on social media with your art skills, and you could imagine that they're worried sick over your sudden absence. But you hoped that, if you survive and succeed in this mission, you'll be able to come back and reassure them that you're very much alive.

And perhaps show them what Urbanshade has been hiding from the public...that is to say the sea monsters that have taken up residence in the Blacksite since its lockdown, freely roaming and haunting nearly every room you step into.

With the makeshift sketchbook you had (and somehow kept even after death), you've filled its pages with simple and detailed sketches of each creature you encountered.

But you doubt that they would let you leave with physical evidence of entities nobody else in the world should know about...unless you somehow convinced the guards that they were "original characters" that so-happened to look like them, but you had a feeling that excuse wouldn't fly.

Regardless, they've given you tons of artistic inspiration, despite your many close-calls with them in pursuit of studying their features from afar.

Thanks to the files Sebastian Solace has shown you, you've learned how to safely observe the Angler from a distance and better remember their details. They were merely a grotesque face surrounded by smoke, so you didn't have to worry about drawing any limbs or tails (assuming they had those).

You encountered their variants so many times that you could recall the little things that made each them unique--like how Pinkie had four pupils, how Blitz was missing pupils in one socket completely, how Froger was..well..a big frog with lots of needle-shaped teeth, and Chainsmoker was a sluggish blobfish through all that smoke.

Making eye contact with Pandemonium was a death sentence..as you've already learned after trying (and failing) to safely observe him through a glass window. So you draw him as you see him in his file.

The Squiddles' "intimidating" faces were scary in the dark when you least expected them, but they served as amazing inspiration. You even had a page full of what faces you'd think they make up to frighten others. It's too bad you couldn't show them, however, as that required you getting in their personal space.

Eyefestation, Good People, and the Wall Dwellers were quite..risky to observe, as they had ways of quickly and painfully sending you back to square one if you weren't careful. Even so, you made some pretty damn good sketches..and you wish you could show them off to them, too, especially to the shark who'd probably appreciate a human's drawing of herself.

Even the DiVine, who were always frozen in poses for some reason, joined your ever-growing list of muses. The oxygen gardens were a nice place for you to rest and appreciate the flora for a few moments--before an Angler came along, of course.

Then there was Sebastian.

While he was fully aware of your artistic passions, in the beginning he seemed a bit annoyed whenever you came into his shop just to sketch.....or if you took an unusually long time to reach him. He just assumes you've stopped to "doodle" and wonders if you really care about getting out of this place alive.

He'd remind you that HQ could get suspicious if you're off their radar for too long, but you've stayed in his shop for 10-20 minutes at a time and not once did your diving gear beep. So you reassured him not to fret.

It was kinda sweet that he worried over you, an expendable, although maybe that's because you actually treat him with decency..and don't take his snarky comments to heart whenever you died.

Aside from the occasional eyeroll whenever you brought out your sketchbook, he did inquire about some of the things you've drawn, and you'd show him, bearing a little pride in your work.

All you'd get in response was a "neato" or "wowie, that's how you see them?" and nothing more.

It wasn't insulting, so...you'll take that.

Obviously he was more concerned about how much research data you were willing to fork over in exchange for supplies, and how far that equipment will carry you before your next demise. So you'd eventually close the book and barter with him for whatever wares were on his tail.

Unbeknownst to him, you've actually started sketching him as of late. Now that you've met him dozens of times, it was easy for you to recall his features without needing to stare at him for reference every five seconds.

That would not only be rude, but very creepy.

Then one day, you showed up to Sebastian's shop with enough data to be able to afford his document, which described him as Z-13, "The Saboteur" who the company wanted "dead on sight" if he was spotted or trying to escape.

When you had time to read the file on your own, you learned some..pretty shocking things about how he caused the lockdown, went through torturous experiments, and was falsely accused of nine murders and was proven innocent far too late.

The most upsetting part was that he was never informed of this.

He learned that after presumably stealing his own document.

It made you feel sick to your stomach, knowing he's the reason you're being terrorized by those beasts, but you couldn't find it in your heart to be angry at him.

If anything you were angry at Urbanshade for their "guilty until proven innocent" system--or in his case, being proven innocent didn't matter.

His human mugshot was also included in the file, and even with the black censor bar covering his eyes, he still looked like quite a handsome fellow. You could make out some details, and ended up drawing him on a separate page, too, although part of you wishes you never started.

You doubt he would kill you or rip apart your book for drawing him, but considering how volatile and rude he could be at a moment's notice..you did your best to conceal the sketches when you visited his shop.

You didn't want him to be offended or reminded of his past..and make him resent the one person who he almost considered a genuine friend.

Unfortunately, you'd soon come to realize that your actions were only heightening his suspicions.

And that it was going to come to a head next time you entered his shop.

...............

"Okay, I'm going to bite...what're you really hiding in that little book?"

"Pardon?" Pausing mid-sketch, you looked up at Sebastian, wondering why he appeared so disgruntled. "I'm..uh...just doodling like I always-"

"No, don't give me that "like always" crap." He huffed, flicking the end of his tail as he crossed his two arms over his chest, staring down at you. "Last time, you couldn't stop showing me a stupid face you'd think one of those S-Qs would make...and now you won't even let me have a sneak peak of your next "masterpiece"." He spat the last word, voice dripping with disdain. "Are you really drawing something...or are you secretly writing intel to give to Urbanshade?"

"...wha.." You blinked in disbelief, wondering where he'd get that assumption from. "Why would I ever do that?"

"Oh I dunno, maaaybe because you have access to my file and know my location? I bet you're gonna sell me out to those scumbags once you reach the crystal." He gnashed his teeth. "Did they say you'd get extra cash for leaving tips on my whereabouts, huh?"

"Sebastian, there's no reason for this hostility. I'm not giving any intel to anyone-"

"Then you wouldn't mind me taking a look at this, would you? Yyyyyyoink!" His third arm was quick to snatch your sketchbook away, holding it out of your reach as you jumped up in panic.

You were already dreading his reaction.

This could very well be the end for you.

"Please give that back! You'll tear it!"

"You look frightened. So maybe I should, considering you're writing secrets about.....about...." But as Sebastian finally looked at the page, all he saw were sketches of his current self, and you began to see a shift in his expression.

It went from pure anger, to surprise and confusion, and then to....something unreadable.

"These are...all of me?" His voice became quieter as he flipped the page, only for his breath to hitch upon finding the drawings of his human form.

And for once, he was completely speechless.

The details were immaculate, everything from his hair style to the scar he used to have across his face--given to him from an angry cellmate who thought he really did kill those people and tried giving him a "taste of his own medicine".

But the way you made him look was...incredible.

That's him.

That's really him.

The man--the human--he was before...

Before...

"Yes." Your face was burning with embarrassment, and your heart was pounding with fear of both death and ridicule, now knowing that your fate laid in his hands now. "I-I'm sorry. I should've asked for your permission and I know the details aren't perfect but you didn't let me........huh?"

Ceasing your ramblings, you noticed the tears welling in his eyes, and you were stunned. Then his shaking hands closed the sketchbook and returned it to you. "Um..are you okay? I'm really sorry if-"

"I...a-almost forgot what I looked like before all of this.." He raised a claw to wipe at his watery eyes, sniffling. "They're...good drawings, friend. I'm sorry..I...I-I didn't mean to..." His voice cracked, and he forced himself to stop, bringing his hands to his face. "Why am I crying over something like..t-this..?"

He hated looking so weak in front of you, yet he couldn't help the tears that kept slipping down his cheeks. A certain sadness was weighing heavily on his heart, yet at the same time he felt...honored that you wanted to draw him, putting your heart and soul into every sketch--with him getting the most effort.

You didn't overexaggerate him as the hideous beast he and everyone else was convinced he was, but just him as, well, himself. His smiles when he realizes it's you coming through the vent again, his cheeky grins when you buy up all his supplies, and even the one time he pouted when you died to Pandemonium because you risked it all trying to draw the moldy fish-creature.

The human ones, as you could tell from the way he broke down, especially hit home for him. Just from a mugshot alone, you were able to create a near-accurate depiction of him.

It made him wonder if you two have met before any of this happened.

Sebastian sniffled, struggling to stop the tears and expecting you to make fun of him as he finally uncovered his face. But instead he saw you standing there with your arms opened up. "I feel like you could use one of these. It's okay. I know you miss being human."

".........."

"C'mon, big guy. My arms are kinda hurting--oh!"

Without warning, he accepted your embrace and squeezed you tightly in his hold. Of course he was careful not to crush your diving tanks, and you smiled in appreciation and patted his back. "It's okay, it's alright..I got you. I didn't mean to make you cry."

He sniffled a few times, but otherwise said nothing and tried making sure you weren't supporting all of his upper body weight.

Curse his size. He wishes he could experience a normal hug again.

This one will do, though.

"I-It's...it's fine. Don't worry.." He finally spoke after a few moments, calming down. "As long as you don't tell anyone about this."

"I'll take it to my grave." You chuckled, letting go and stepping away so he could straighten his back out. While he did that, you gently tore a few pages from your book, to which he blinked in confusion.

"What are you doing with-?"

"Keep them." You insisted. "In case this sketchbook falls into a pit or gets waterlogged, I want you to hold onto these. Besides, I can tell you appreciate them a lot. So...consider it a gift."

"Why..thank you." A smile appeared on his face as he took the pages carefully. "Rest assured, they'll be safe and sound." He gazed at them both one more time, feeling a tug on his heart.

But it wasn't as heavy as before.

After neatly folding and stowing them away into his pockets, he saw you already sitting in one of the chairs, your sketchbook opened to a brand new blank page.

"Sooooooo what are you going to draw this time?" He tilted his head, ear fins twitching with curiosity.

"Hm...I did see a vision of a white glowing man a few rooms back. I think he was from...the Mindscape? There was a file talking about him and some floating gears and a white ball."

"Ohh yeah, he's an interesting guy. I'd love to see your interpretation of him." Now Sebastian was 100% invested, as he curled his tail around himself, resting his upper body on it so he could see your book better. "But y'know you won't be able to leave this place with sketches of-"

"I'm well aware of that...I could always change a few things and turn them into OCs."

"Hah. You should."

"Maybe I will." You snickered, grateful that you didn't have anything to fear.

At least somebody in the Blacksite appreciated your art.

[scarlet-star-witch]

The moon and his sun (Part II)

Aemond Targaryen x Female Reader

Summary: People would remember their story. Even decades after they were gone, Septa’s would tell young children about the one-eyed dragon prince and his sweet wife as if they were a part of a fairytale, too good to be true for the harshness real life possessed.

Aemond meets a young girl who quickly becomes his most cherished friend and changes the course of history.

Word count: 8.2 K

Warnings: Aegon takes minors to a brothel (but nothing sexual happens), characters get aged up, male masturbation, mutual pining, smut

AN: I am so blown away by the love you all showed for the first chapter, thank you all so much! Hope you enjoy xx

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

~~

Her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. 

Aemond had been twirling her around the room practically the entire night. She knew he didn’t particularly enjoy dancing, but when she had asked him, he loathed to deny her. 

“Are you having a good name day?” 

“It’s my best one yet.” He smiled. He had woken that morning to her barging into his chambers, demanding her gift be the first one he received that day. Nothing could ruin such an incredible start to the day. 

He raised her hand over their heads and twirled her under his arm again, his own grin beaming at the sound of her delighted laughter. 

She tilted her head back as she spun and Aemond was struck by how happy she looked. She was happy with him, she was carefree with him. 

Despite how his feet began to hurt, or that he knew many pairs of eyes were staring at him, the desire to let go and sit back down was nowhere to be found. He wanted to stay with her. He wanted to continue to make her smile all night long

As she twirled again, her eyes found the head table, smiling to Helaena who was watching the dancers wistfully while her betrothed sat next to her downing another cup of wine. 

She flinched suddenly as she met the hard stare of the Hand of the King. Otto Hightower’s stare was enough to make her feel as though she was burning under such a disdainful look. 

Her shoulders tensed slightly before she found herself being spun again, back into Aemond’s arms. His smile faltered when he noticed her own smile dimmed. 

“Are you alright?”

She forced a mask upon her face, not quite understanding the contempt coming her way from his grandsire, and brought a smile back to her face. 

“I’m fine, just getting a little tired.” 

“Come on, we’ll take a break.” He took her hand in his and guided her back to the table.

Her father smiled at the two of them as they approached. 

“You two look like you’ve been having fun.” 

“We are.” She smiled, taking her seat next to him. Aemond moved to take the empty seat next to her when his mother called out to him. She beckoned him forward with a pointed look and he sighed, promising to find her later as he left her side to make his way back to the head table.

She watched him go with sorrowful eyes, her gaze moving over to Otto and suppressing a shiver at the cold look she received. 

She seemed to shrink in her seat, catching her father’s attention. He followed her gaze, his face hardening, his posture becoming rigid as he noticed the cold glare the Hand of the King was sending his daughter. 

He had never liked Hightower, he didn’t trust the man. He somehow always seemed to take control of the council meetings, proclaiming he knew what the King’s best interests were. He was a snake of a man and he would not let him drag his daughter into his games. 

He placed his arm over her shoulder, portraying a united front, a warning to anyone that would seek to bring her harm that he would deal with them swiftly. He may be the Lord of a peaceful house but that did not mean he did not know how to fight or that he wouldn’t commit whatever violence was needed to protect his family.

She stayed by her father’s side for the rest of the night, sharing looks of mourning with Aemond as he was sequestered to his mother’s side, unable to escape the politicking unfolding at the head table of Royals. 

As the celebration was winding down, most taking their leave for the night, she bid her father goodnight and sulked out of the large hall. 

She knew whatever reservations Aemond’s grandsire had of her would keep him from her, that there was no use in hoping for another moment with him. 

She shouldn’t have been so upset, she had practically the entire day with him and all her previous days, but that somehow didn’t stop the twisting of her insides as the thought of his own family disliking her, of there being some kind of plot to keep her away from him. 

The sound of her name being called made her raise her head, a smile growing instantly at the sight of Aemond waving her over. 

“Where are you going?”

“I was headed to my chambers. I thought the celebration was over.”

Aemond took her hand and pulled her along with him.  “Not yet.”

She smiled along with him, happily following him. As he guided her out of the Keep, her smile began to falter slightly in confusion.

“Where are we going?”

“Aegon said he had a surprise.”

An uneasy feeling began to fester within her. She didn’t particularly like any time she had spent with his older brother. She didn’t trust a single thing about him. Thoughts of the pink dread came to mind and she quickly held back the bitterness that grew. She didn’t want to doubt Aemond, but she had little hope this surprise would be a showing of brotherly love. 

As the two of them snuck passed the gates, a hooded figure waited for them. 

Aegon’s smirk dropped the moment he spotted the two of them hand in hand. 

“What the bloody hell is she doing here?”

“Aegon.” Aemond admonished. 

“I didn’t invite her, I invited you.”

“She’s my friend. She has every right to join us.”

The disdain on his face faltered slightly and soon morphed into a devious smirk, a laugh leaving his curled lips, one that made her stiffen.

“I do hope you enjoy the surprise, My Lady.” He drawled, the sickly sweet tone of his voice making her want to squirm and head back to the safety of her chambers. 

But Aemond’s hand in hers kept her in place, her stride matching his as they followed Aegon. 

The further they ventured from the familiarity of the Red Keep, the tighter Aemond’s grip on her hand became, his suspicions rising as they continued their trek deeper into the streets of Flea Bottom. 

He pulled her into his side as they passed a tavern, the rowdy sounds inside and the groups of drunken men they passed making his body stiffen. 

“Aegon, what are we doing down here?” He called to his older brother. 

No response was given and Aemond grit his teeth in annoyance. He should’ve known better than to trust his brother. 

They came to a nondescript door and Aegon turned to face them, that smug smirk still on his face that made her hand twitch, longing to smack it right off his face. 

“Well, brother, you’re almost a man grown. I think it’s time you get it wet.”

Aemond’s eyes narrowed, confusion twisting his features as a pit of dread began to grow within him. Aegon opened the door and motioned them inside. 

When the two of them stood still in their spot, Aegon rolled his eyes and gripped onto the front of Aemond’s shirt, yanking him forward, his hand still clasped tightly in hers pulling her along with him, the two of them stumbling through the door ungracefully. 

The scantily clad women that filled the room made Aemond’s lone eye widen. He turned to his brother, his face red with both shame and anger. 

“Aegon, why are we here?”

“Don’t be so uptight, Aemond.” His brother waved him off, brushing past them to be welcomed into the arms of a whore he frequented. 

He was quickly guided off to a room, leaving the two of them to remain standing at the door stiffly, their shocked eyes taking in the room before them.

A group of women soon surrounded them, pulling Aemond away from her. 

He tensed as hands ran down his arms and he shook them off, his head craning to catch a glimpse of his friend. He called out her name, but if she gave any response it was drowned out by the tittering laughter of the women in front of him.

“Is she your betrothed?”

“We can help you, teach you how to please her.”

“We’ll make you a God, My Prince.”

Aemond’s face twisted in disgust at the filth they began to spout, shrugging off their wandering hands, flinching as a hand landed on his thigh, slowly beginning to creep upwards.

“Don’t touch me.” He snapped, his heart beginning to race as a dreadful feeling overcame him. 

He remembered it well, what it was like to not be in control. He remembered what happened the last time he had felt this helpless, wanting to scream but knowing no one was listening, no one caring about his discomfort. His scar flared with pain at the memory and he winced, pushing the woman who was trying to crawl into his lap away from him.

He called out her name again, panic seeping through his tone. 

He stumbled over his own feet in his haste to escape the gaggle of whores that tried to tempt him. He pushed them out of his way, one goal in his mind, one face he desperately needed to see. 

Across the room, he spotted her, his chest tightening as he saw the discomfort on her face as many pairs of hands tangled through her hair and pulled at her dress. 

“You’re a pretty little thing.”

“Just imagine when your tits come in, you’ll put all of us out of work. The men will be lining up to take a turn with you.”

“Don’t worry, Honey. We can prepare you so it won’t hurt too much when your old husband beds you.”

The whores’ words made her stomach clench and she squirmed under their hands that attempted to get her out of her clothes. 

The feeling of lips caressing her neck made her flinch, a small squeak of surprise escaping her before she could even fully realize what was happening. 

“Get off her.” A stern voice spoke.

She let out a stunted breath as she realized it was Aemond. She reached out and within a second, he hauled her up and wrapped her under his arm as he pushed their way out of the brothel. 

A ragged breath left him as the stench of perfume finally lifted, the debauched sounds of the pleasure house muffled and distant as the door closed behind them. He looked down at the girl under his arm and a bolt of worry shot through him at the sight of her blank stare.

A low hum rang in her ears, her body trembling slightly as it tried to make sense of what had just happened, of what could have happened. 

“Hey, look at me, please.” His pleading voice came through and she slowly raised her head, her gaze meeting his worried eye. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what he was planning. I never should have trusted him.” He rambled, his own voice wavering slightly, his trembling hands moving to cup her cheeks. “I swear to you, I never would have come if I had known.”

“It’s ok.” She breathed out quietly. 

He sighed, the fear on her face still evident. 

“Are you alright?”

She nodded wordlessly and he winced, the gesture so unconvincing he quickly wrapped her in a tight hug. 

“I’ll take you back to the Keep.” 

She looked down the darkened alley fearfully, the thought of making her way through the streets of Flea Bottom so late had dread settling in her stomach. 

“It’s ok.” Aemond assured her, taking her hand in his, noting the unease in her eyes. “I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” 

They began to walk, the silence between them stifling, something so unfamiliar to the inseparable pair. 

“I’m sorry.” She began quietly. “You don’t need to- you can stay if you wish. I don’t want to ruin your night.” 

Aemond stopped in his tracks, his lone eye wide with horror as he looked at her in complete shock.

“I don’t- no! I didn’t want- this wasn’t-” He was at a loss for words. He blew out a long breath, cursing Aegon profusely in his head. “I don’t want to… do what Aegon does.” He explained vaguely, unable to bring himself to speak of his brother’s depravity in front of her. 

The insinuation of him acting like Aegon, of sullying himself with the same debauchery that brought his family shame made his stomach twist. He never wanted her to see him like that, he never wanted her to think he would ever act like his brother.

Aemond ran a hand through his hair. “Fucking twat.” He mumbled under his breath. He wanted to throttle Aegon 

A small giggle met his ears and he looked at her, slightly bewildered by the small upturning of her lips he saw, so unlike the fear he had seen etched in her eyes just seconds before. 

“I’ve never heard you swear.”

He let out a small noise of surprise, unsure if she was truly smiling or if it was a ruse to placate him.

“So unbecoming of a Prince.” She jested and he let himself laugh, her sarcasm, her humor so like the girl he knew that it was enough to ease his worry. 

He liked his arm through hers, holding her closely to his side as they began to walk again. 

“Did this ruin your name day?” She asked after a few moments of silence.

He looked over at her thoughtfully. His day began with her, her excited smile beaming as she demanded he open her present, her at his side loyally all day. No one had ever been so attentive to him, not even on past name days. 

“No.” He answered honestly. Nothing could ruin the content she gave him, the feeling of being wanted and needed that surrounded him when she was around was stronger than any blow of shame Aegon could deliver.

Neither of them spoke of that night, the both of them too embarrassed by what they had seen and heard to say anything about it. 

Though the seeds of lust were planted. 

As the years passed and they grew older, their childhood innocence dissipating into adult desires and longing, it became harder to deny what was between them. The looks that passed between them were no longer the shared smiles of childhood friends, they were the looks of longing that stirred the shared hunger that grew steadily with each passing day.

After that night, she loathed to think of her friend, her Aemond, venturing back there with Aegon, indulging those whores, laying with them, letting them touch him, his own hands greedily touching every inch of their bodies. The thought of him laying with another was like a lance to the heart. 

The same dread plagued Aemond. 

He made himself sick thinking of his friend, the girl he always simply considered to be his, indulging one of the many suitors that ogled her.

Aemond thought of what those whores had told her, that she would have to lay with a husband leagues older than her and endure the lackluster and, most likely violent, attempts to produce an heir. 

The thought had his insides twisting. The thought of any man with their hands on her sent fury racing through him. 

As they grew, he couldn’t help but find his thoughts of her drifting to ones that would be considered less than innocent, not thoughts one should be having of a dear friend. 

He couldn’t help but admire her curves, the dip of her cleavage she had no trouble showing in the low cut gowns she wore around the Keep. It drove him crazy. 

It was becoming more and more common that he would wake, his thoughts racing of images of her lingering from his dreams. He would roll over, imagining she was laying next to him in his bed, tangled within his sheets, her sweet smile his first sight of the day. 

He had no time to feel guilty as his hand ventured below his sheets, as he found his hard length that was more often than not standing at attention to the thought of her. 

He would let his eye close, imagining her hand taking his place, of her sweet mouth taking him in, of the praises she would give him as he took her over and over, the sound of her delectable moans and pleas for him. 

His mouth would part with panting breaths as he thought of the pleasure he could give her, of the pleasure he longed to give her and the pleasure she would bestow upon him. 

His hand would speed as he neared his end, his body writhing among his silken sheets, his head fallen back against his pillow as he pictured her face, what it would look like as he brought her to climax.

The thought, as always, was his undoing. 

His lips parted with a long groan, the raspy call of her name becoming familiar to the walls around him. He panted as he expelled the last spurts of spend on his stomach, his limbs feeling weak as he let his fantasy dissipate. 

He didn’t know how much longer he could continue without having her in his arms. He didn’t know how he could endure meeting her gaze with such filthy thoughts of her in his mind. 

Later that day, as he caught her eye as she sat with the ladies of the court, he felt his face flush, the images of her he conjured in the privacy of his chambers rushing back to him. 

The warm smile and small wave she sent him only incensed him further, leaving him to contemplate for a few long moments whether he should neglect his training with Ser Criston to return to his chambers and deal with the heat she had unknowingly spread throughout his body that was undoubtedly weak for her. 

He was doomed to her.

The longer he repressed his growing feelings for his best friend, the more he couldn’t get her off his mind. 

He woke early one morning to avoid passing her by, knowing with one mere look at her he would be a distracted, bumbling mess for the rest of the day. He was determined to get through at least one training session without his thoughts drifting to her. 

He had been successful for a short time, managing to best Ser Criston time and time again, his focus purely on the weapon he wielded with precision. 

Until he heard that familiar laugh, a sound so purely wonderful, it almost knocked him off his feet. 

His gaze wandered around the training yard before they found her, as he always would, her arm linked through Helaena’s their smiles wide as they watched the training commence.

As if sensing his gaze on her, she turned her head, her eyes meeting his. She smiled, the sight blindingly beautiful. He sent her a wave, hoping the blush on his cheeks wasn’t as severe as it felt. 

The sound of a throat clearing beside him broke him out of his daze and he turned sharply to meet the knowing smirk of Ser Criston.

“Shall we continue or are you done for the day?”

The knight’s tone implied he knew exactly what thoughts had been running through the Prince’s mind the moment he saw his dear friend. Anyone with eyes and half a working brain could see the affection the Prince and the Ixtal girl held for each other. 

Aemond grit his teeth, sending a glare the knight’s way as he spun his sword effortlessly, a flagrant display of his prowess with his beloved blade. 

“I am more than ready to continue, but if you require a break I will gladly find another opponent to knock into the dirt.” 

Criston snorted and raised his sword, giving the young Prince he had valiantly trained a pointed look. 

With one last gaze up to the woman on the balcony, the sly wink she sent him giving him all the drive needed, he raised his sword and struck a deadly swing towards his mentor who scrambled to block it. 

His heart raced with adrenaline. The wink she had sent him igniting the fire in his blood, only incenting him to display his power to her, determined to win, determined to show her his strength. 

He wasn’t a boastful man, he left those frivolities to his older brother, but when it came to her he suddenly didn’t recognize the feelings within him, the desires that had taken root that seemed to unravel him to his most basic senses. 

Up on the balcony she repressed a shiver as she watched Aemond fight with an ease that made her body heat and caused her mind to conjure things her Septa would’ve slapped her for ever thinking as an unmarried woman.

“He’s very good.” Helaena commented, not noticing the desire now lingering in her friend’s eyes. 

“Yes, he is.” She murmured, attempting to shake herself from thoughts of him handling her in the delicate yet deliberate way he did his sword.  

Later that night, as she and her father joined the Targaryen family for dinner, she couldn’t get her mind off of what she had seen in the training yard. She couldn’t help the nervous flutters that erupted within her as she took her seat in between Helaena and Aemond.

It was her usual seat, she had spent too many dinners to count by his side, but for reasons she couldn’t quite understand - or refused to - she suddenly felt bashful in her friend’s presence. 

The smile he sent her in greeting made her stomach flip.  

She could barely concentrate on anything besides his presence beside her. She was sure she was about to crumble into a puddle as his fingers brushed against hers as he passed her the jug of wine. 

She took greedy swallows of the drink, hoping it would dull her sense enough to withstand the looks he sent her every now and again, his smile warm, his gentle affection subtle but enough to undo her completely. 

As Helaena engaged her in conversation, telling her one of the many stories of her beloved twins, she let her thoughts of Aemond dissipate, smiling softly to her dear friend who glowed with her love of her children. 

She listened intently, allowing her nerves to retreat to the shadows of her mind. 

As conversations around the table continued, she let her eyes wander curiously. She turned her head, catching Aemond’s gaze already on hers. He straightened and abruptly tore his eye back to the plate in front of him, though the blush that grew on his cheeks was undeniable. 

A shock of excitement rushed through her at his reaction, suddenly realizing she wasn’t as hopeless as she had thought. She thought back to all the times she had caught Aemond looking at her, all the times he sought her out before anyone else, all the times he had abandoned whatever it was he was doing just to see her and spend a mere moment together. 

She suddenly wondered if it meant as much to him as it did to her. 

She wondered if her dear friend was caught in the same haze of longing she found herself drowning in. 

~~

The slamming of the door made her flinch, the book she was reading slipping from her hands. She sat up straighter when she noticed Aemond standing rigid, his chest heaving with heavy breaths as he tried to rein in his anger.

“What happened?”

“My fucking grandsire.” He seethed. 

She remained seated and silent, allowing Aemond to vent out his anger. 

“They want to betrothe me to some Baratheon girl.” He explained as he began to pace erratically. “They’re bringing her to court for the Summer Feast. They expect me to do my duty with that plain-” He stopped himself abruptly before any insults could pass his lips. 

She frowned, setting her book aside. 

“Tell them you don’t wish to marry her.”

Aemond hummed, the sound more bitter than she had ever heard it. “My grandsire isn’t as agreeable as your father.” 

He knew the Lord of Ixtal had vetoed a number of requests for his daughter’s hand at her request. He didn’t want his daughter shackled to a man she did not desire. 

He wished his family was as caring to his needs as hers was. 

“Well, I guess you need to find the love of your life before the Baratheon girl arrives.”

Aemond looked over at her plainly, clearly not in the joking mood. 

“This is not funny.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t see what the issue is. Tell your family this isn’t what you want.”

“They don’t care about what any of us want. If they did, Helaena wouldn’t be forced at Aegon’s side.” 

She frowned at the mention of her dear friend and what she had to endure with her drunken leech of a husband. 

“I’m running out of time.” Aemond sighed, running a hand over his face. “I’ve been able to keep them at bay the past few years, but they’re becoming more incessant, I can’t stall any longer.”

The thought of being forced to marry some girl he didn’t know, a girl who would never compare to the woman in front of him, the woman he longed for, desired before he even knew what it meant to desire a woman, left him feeling hollow. 

“I’m sorry. I wish I could solve this for you, but I don’t think your mother would take too kindly to my meddling.”

Aemond huffed out a laugh at the thought. He looked at his friend curiously, noting how cavalier she found the idea of marriage.

“Isn’t your father putting pressure on you to marry?”

“Not exactly. He’s hinting at the time coming for me to go back home, but no plans have been made just yet.”

Her words made his stomach twist. The thought of her leaving King’s Landing, of not seeing her everyday, was unfathomable. 

“They don’t have a courtship lined up for you?”

“No. Who I marry is my decision.”

“Is it that easy?”

She breathed out a small laugh at his disbelieving tone.

“Ixtal isn’t as conservative as King’s Landing. We don’t force people to be together, we don’t expect women to wait to find pleasure until marriage. We don’t expect a fruitful marriage to come from sexual disappointment.”

Aemond blushed at her words, his eyes darting to the wall behind her, unable to keep her gaze as she spoke of things his mother would’ve slapped their wrists for.

“My mother said marriage is for the sake of duty. To unite strong houses.”

She scoffed, sending her friend a pointed look of disappointment.

“You’re forced to marry for every reason other than your own happiness. It’s barbaric.”

“It is duty.”

“So you just accept it? Being tied to someone you don’t love for the rest of your life?”

“Some grow to love each other.” He said quietly, though he couldn’t deny how undesirable the customs, one he had known his entire life, sounded to his own ears.

“So if you’re betrothed to a Baratheon daughter, you’ll accept it?”

“No, of course not.” He answered immediately, his tone sharper than he intended. 

“Why? You’ll have to marry someday. Soon I’ll need to go home and find myself a nice man to settle with.”

The reminder of his time with her coming to an end made it feel as though his heart was turning to stone. Her previous words about Ixtal’s customs suddenly came screaming back to him and his hands tightened into fists, fury rising within him at the thought of men touching her, kissing her, making love to her.

“Aemond.” 

The sound of that beautiful voice saying his name made him look up, the anger inside him washing away at the knowing look on her face. She stood from her seat and took slow steps towards him until she was only inches away, making his throat tighten at the closeness he was constantly longing for. 

The unspoken things between them bubbled to the surface, reaching a boiling point as they looked at each other in the dim light, the topic of conversation causing tensions to run high, threatening to reveal true emotions that were kept hidden for so long.

“Eventually, you’ll have to marry, and so will I. We’ll have to do our duty, as you say.”

He swallowed thickly, his eyes unable to hold her gaze any longer, falling onto his hands that clenched and unclenched as waves of anxiety passed through him.

She sighed heavily and stepped past him, moving towards the door. She loved so many things about Aemond, but his refusal to feel anything but anger, his stubborn nature to speak his true thoughts, angered her.

“I don’t want you to go back to Ixtal.” He admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. But she heard him. She would always hear him. 

“Why?”

“Because you belong here.” He told her, his gaze rising to pierce into hers, his tone becoming sharp once more. “Because the thought of you going home, marrying some man that doesn’t deserve you, makes me furious. The thought of you-” He stopped abruptly, looking away from her, his hands clenched tightly.

“Would you be jealous knowing another man has touched me?”

Aemond’s jaw clenched as he turned on his heel and moved towards her so they were now chest to chest. He had to fight hard to keep his composure, to not close his eyes in bliss at the feeling of her body against his.

“I would kill every man that dared to touch you.”

A devious smirk grew on her lips, one he wanted to kiss away desperately. 

“Would you feel jealous if-”

“Yes.” She answered immediately, shamelessly. She smirked at the way his breath hitched, as the hunger in his eye grew tenfold. “I don’t share.”

Aemond almost choked on his breath at her insinuation. 

Her arms slithered over his shoulders, pulling him in closer to her, close enough they could feel the other’s heart racing wildly. 

“You’re mine. You’ve always been mine.” She whispered and Aemond could’ve sworn he would melt into the floor into a puddle of nothing. 

Her lips crashed onto his and he was powerless against her touch. He kissed her back with a furious desperation, revealing every ounce of desire he held for her. He needed her like the air he breathed and it was never more evident in the way his lips molded against hers, in the way his tongue tangled with hers, how his hands held to her hips tightly, ensuring she couldn’t part from his side. 

Her nails scratched against the leather of his doublet as she kissed him fiercely, hoping he would understand, hoping the hunger in her kiss and touch was enough to make him realize she didn’t want anyone but him. 

His mind was blank save for thoughts of her. 

The duty he had adhered to his entire life, the duty that had been instilled in him since his birth, didn’t exist. His duty to his mother, to his grandfather, didn’t exist as he kissed her. 

He knew then and there that he was going to marry her, his only friend, the beautiful girl that had his young heart racing, or he wouldn’t marry at all. 

They pulled away from the kiss, the both of them breathing heavily, neither parting too far from the other. Aemond smiled softly and let his forehead rest against hers. 

“I won’t marry her.” He breathed out in promise, his chest tightening pleasurably as he saw the smile that grew on her kiss swollen lips. 

“Iksā ñuhon, issa prūmia.” He whispered and placed a soft, slow kiss to her lips once more. 

Her mind was racing. She knew few Valyrian words but none sounded familiar. 

“What does that mean?” 

Aemond just smiled and kissed her again, content to stay in that moment for the rest of his life. 

The gravity of their actions, the realization that anyone could have walked into the library and saw them, could have told his mother or his grandfather, didn’t catch up to him until he had parted from her side and settled into bed for the night. 

He lay rigid, his mind racing, his heart heavy with guilt. 

If anyone had seen them it would have ruined her reputation. She’d be painted as a whore. The court would speculate what other Lord she’d kissed or opened her legs to. 

Aemond couldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t ruin her. 

The next morning, every ounce of bliss he had felt with her lips against his was tainted with worry. He found her in the gardens, his cold stare softening as he spotted her sitting with Helaena and the twins. 

The sight of her with little Jaeheara in her arms made his heart stop for a moment. He swallowed thickly, desperately moving past the emotions, the longing, the sight stirred within him. 

“Good morning, brother.” Helaena greeted him brightly. 

He just nodded briefly in greeting, his posture stiff as his gaze landed on her. 

“Can we talk?”

Her smile faltered slightly and she placed the babe in her arms back to her mother before taking his offered arm, Aemond guiding them away from prying ears. 

“Is everything alright?”

“What happened yesterday-”

“Do you regret it?” She asked stiffly, her worry evident as her grip on his arm became lax, as if she suddenly wanted to be anywhere but by his side. 

“No! Never.” He responded frantically, his eyes leaving hers to take in their surroundings, making sure no one would hear them. “Yesterday was… it was long overdue.” 

“Then why are you so tense?” 

“No one can know.” 

She sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging. 

“The rumors that would spread if people saw us together would ruin you.”

“I think you’re giving the court too much credit.” She responded flippantly, her annoyance growing at Aemond’s worry. “Are you going to let me have a say in this or are we going to let the court decide our future for us?”

He spoke her name softly in exasperation, sparking her anger. She wrenched her arm out of his and walked a few paces to gain distance from him. She couldn’t think clearly so close to him. 

“If you weren’t being truthful yesterday then tell me. Spare me the lies and tell me how you truly feel.” 

“I wasn’t lying.” He assured her, his heart beginning to race in fear for where this conversation was headed. He loathed to hear the doubt in her voice. “I refuse to marry the Baratheon girl, I only want you.” He told her, his voice much quieter than before. 

The fire in her eyes dissipated, her fears subsiding and she stayed still in her spot as he stepped towards her, closing the distance between them. 

“We must keep this between us for now, at least until my father is more lucid and I can take our betrothal to him. I cannot let my grandfather know of this. He will only find a way to speed up a wedding to the Baratheon girl or any other Lady in the Keep.” 

She looked up at him with a smirk, her heart jumping at his words. 

“Betrothal?”

Aemond flushed and cleared his throat, as if the words were tightening his throat.

“Well, yes… is that not what-”

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” She spoke in an overly saturated tone, interrupting his nervous words. He looked at her fiercely, his lone eye betraying every ounce of lust, longing, and annoyance he held for her games.

“You will never stop vexing me, will you?”

“I am certain you love it.” She teased, his swiftly pink turning cheeks all the answer she needed from him. She straightened, clearing her throat, as she moved back to the matter at hand. “So we must sneak around?” 

He looked regretful, his hands gently taking hers. 

“I know it’s not ideal.”

She shrugged. “If that is the only way I can have you now, then I can live with it.”

Aemond smiled, a breath of relief leaving his lips, the heavy weight on his chest dissipating quickly. 

A smirk grew on her lips, one he knew signaled mischief. 

“So, that means we’d have to remain as friends in public.” She surmised, stepping closer to him, much too close, as their chests brushed against each other. “But behind closed doors…”

Aemond swallowed, his eyes fluttering closed as she leaned in, his lips brushing against his ear as she spoke. 

“...I can do what I want with you.” 

Aemond cleared his throat, desperately trying to keep a hold of what little control he had left. 

“When we are behind closed doors, which we are not.” He reminded her, sounding exasperated, making her laugh softly. 

She loved the effect she had on him.

“Meet me in my chambers tonight.” She whispered and placed a soft, barely there, kiss to his cheek, before leaving his side and making her way back to Helaena, leaving him with pink cheeks and a racing heart.

Night couldn’t have come fast enough. He spent the day training vigorously, Ser Criston taking the brunt of his pent up anticipation with round after round of sparring. His knee bounced impatiently throughout dinner, paying no mind to his mother’s attempts to bring him into the conversations he couldn’t bother to focus on. 

He waited, long, torturous hours, until the sun had finally set and night descended on the Keep, the halls clearing as Lords, Ladies and their servants alike settled in for the night. 

He paced in his room for longer than he would ever admit, his nerves bubbling low in his stomach, his hands twitching as he longed to reach for a goblet of wine to ease his worries. 

He knew if his mother were to ever discover he had entered a lady’s chambers in the dead of night, let alone a Lady he was undeniably close to, she would slap him until he found his sense once again. 

Though no amount of worry, no guilt over his allegiance to his duty could ever be enough to overtake what he felt for her, what he had unknowingly felt for so long. 

With only his desire to see her, he purposefully strode across his room and pushed at the stone wall, silently thanking his brother for drunkenly revealing to him the secret passageways years ago.

 It only took a few minutes until he found her door. With a deep breath, he stepped in slowly, his eyes immediately finding her as she sat at her vanity, brushing her hair. His breath caught in his throat when he noticed the sheer slip she wore as she readied herself for bed. 

He cleared his throat, feeling a blush quickly and involuntarily growing on his cheeks as her eyes rose to meet his. 

“You came.” She smiled. 

“Of course I did.”

She got to her feet, taking slow steps towards him, as if he were a wild animal that would spook if she got too close too quickly. She knew he had a strong sense of duty, of what behavior was becoming of a princely man, it had been instilled in him by his family since he was born.

She knew he was breaking every single one of those lessons by being in her room so late at night. 

“You know we do not have to sneak around. You can wait to court me as is proper.” She reminded him, hoping to ease his discomfort.

“I can’t take that risk.” He spoke smoothly, as if it didn’t even require a second thought. “I can’t take the chance that we will be denied. I can’t lose you before I’ve even had you.”

She smiled, her heart jumping in anticipation.

“So take me while you can.”

Barely a second later Aemond had crossed the room, his hands cradling her face gently as he crashed his lips to her, kissing her passionately, revealing every ounce of his desire for her. 

She moaned happily against his lips, the noise forcing his body to tighten, every shred of control he thought he possessed gone in an instant. 

They kissed as if they had been lovers for years, as if he had been gone for so long and they couldn’t wait to reunite as only lovers could. 

His hands greedily roamed the curves he had admired for years. Her hands wove into his silken hair she had braided many times as children. The innocence was gone between them, no childlike wonderment left, leaving only their loving, lustful desires. 

They pulled away after a few minutes, the both of them breathing heavily, their swollen lips turning upwards into a shared smile as their eyes met, the pure bliss in his lone eye matching hers. 

He moved in again, desperate to get her lips back on his, but her hands on his chest stopped him. His brows furrowed, a strike of worry lashing him as he gazed at her in concern. 

“I want to see all of you.” Her quiet voice spoke, her delicate touch framing his face, her fingers slowly canting upwards to trace the edge of his scar. 

He flinched instinctively, having never felt the touch of another there, but almost instantly calmed as he stared into her eyes that reflected nothing but love and trust. 

She had been there for him through everything, she had been the only one to see him for more than his title, to respect him as he was, simply a boy trying to find his place in the world. 

He let out a shuddering breath, allowing his forehead to rest against hers as he built up the courage he needed to reveal his eye to her.

“Every part of you is beautiful, Aemond. I have known that for years and I certainly won’t think differently tomorrow.” She reassured him, her velvet voice melting the hardened resentment within him. 

He swallowed against the tightness in his throat and reached up slowly, willing his hands not to tremble as he grasped the patch over his eye. Slowly, he pulled it off, revealing the sparkling sapphire in place of his eye. 

A small laugh left her, scaring him momentarily until he saw the delight in her gaze rather than mocking cruelty as he had suddenly feared. 

“I can’t believe you really listened to me.” 

He smiled bashfully, remembering a conversation years ago, when she had suggested he put a ruby in place of his eye to resemble that of a dragon eye. He never told her when he took her suggestion, feeling too silly to divulge such a thing. 

“Well, I’m sorry it’s not a ruby.”

She shook her head, her smile never faltering. “Why did you pick a sapphire?”

“It reminded me of the sea.” He stated simply, watching with bashful satisfaction as her smile smoothed out, her expression one of touched devotion.

He always told her she reminded him of the calming and luxurious blue waves that crashed on the shores of Ixtal, the waves he had become mesmerized by the day he met her. 

“It’s beautiful.” She breathed out, feeling unable to take her eyes off the shining gem that made the man in front of her look even more ethereal than he already did. 

Her eyes found the gem between every breathless and fiery kiss, somehow lingering as he pulled his clothes off, remaining, as if for comfort, as she bared herself to him for the first time. 

It was a beacon to her, the guiding light in the ferocity of a storm, calming every one of her nerves as she was reminded he was hers just as she was his, as they always had been. 

She felt as though there were sparks igniting under her skin as he touched her. She felt herself melt under his delicate fingers that curiously roamed her body. She felt beautiful under his awed gaze as he eagerly took in every inch of her, as if she were a divine entity he would soon bow to. 

The second a gasp escaped her as his fingers found the wetness between her thighs, Aemond’s eye snapped to hers. He watched with wonderment as she vocalized her pleasure, pleasure that was because of him. 

She smiled against his lips as he suddenly kissed her with a might she had never felt before. She was powerless against his hungry lips. 

He let out a stunted breath at the sound of the whine that fell past her lips as he curled his finger, seeking out her pleasure, eager for it as if it were his own

The two of them never let their eyes wander too far from each other. He watched with a wide, amazed gaze as he brought her to her peak with his fingers, delighting in the pain he felt as her nails dug into his shoulder as her hips grinded against his hand. 

The sounds of her soft moans echoed in his ears, alighting his body with furious desire. 

As he settled between her legs, he looked down at her, his eyes posing his silent question, the devotion she saw from the beauty of his lone eye, that she felt from the gentle touch of the tips of his fingers that traced lines up and down her thighs, was enough to have her nodding immediately, fiery want washing over her. 

He never dared to look away from the depth of her eyes as he delved inside her for the first time. 

He watched her carefully, whispering apologies as she gasped, the foreign feeling making her tense slightly. His gentle caresses, his soft kisses down the length of her neck, the words of praise he gave her, were enough to soothe her, her body relaxing, the pain fading.

He began to thrust slowly, the pleasure soon becoming too much and his eye fell closed as he shuddered from the delirious pleasure of being inside of her, but he forced himself to bring his gaze back to her, taking in the starry eyed look in her own. 

Their hands never left each other, Aemond gripped her hips as if he feared she would soon be forced away from him, her hands gripping onto his shoulders to ground herself in the wake of the unexpected pleasure he brought her. 

His nose brushed against hers as he kissed her softly, his hips finding a rhythm that made them both sigh in delight. He felt his limbs tremble, his resolve slipping the longer he stayed inside her, quickly realizing nothing in his entire existence would ever compare to this, to being with her, the woman he loved more than life itself. 

“Aemond.” She breathed out, pleading for him, pleading for this never to end, to never lose each other. 

He squeezed his eye shut briefly, his movements becoming more controlled as he let his body adjust to the ecstasy he was feeling. 

“You’re mine.” He panted, his hand moving to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her soft skin affectionately. “You will always be mine.” 

She nodded frantically, a moan falling past her lips as he found the spot inside her that made stars explode before her. 

The noise had Aemond gritting his teeth, a desperate growl sounding and he knew this would be ending soon. 

He quickened his movements, his hips rolling rapidly against hers. He choked out a surprised sounding moan as her legs wove around his waist, pulling him in deeper. 

“Oh, Gods, I can’t-”

“Give it to me, Aemond. I want it. I want all of you.” She replied frantically, the growl in his voice causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. 

She watched, entirely raptured by the sight before her as Aemond’s jaw dropped, his eye widening before slamming shut, his body trembling as a loud, desperate sounding groan fell from his lips. His hips became erratic, his movements becoming sloppy as he came hard, untethered from his control.

She gasped at the feeling, the tingling in her spine spreading until it burst, a cry of his name sounding in the room as she fell off the edge just a moment behind him. 

Aemond slumped against her, his chest heaving alongside her own, his shuddering breaths cooling the skin at her shoulder where his head rested. 

She ran her hands over his muscled shoulders and found their way into his hair and she began to run her fingers through his mussed strands gently as she found her way back to her body.

After a moment of quiet as their breathing relaxed, Aemond raised his head, his eye finding hers, her gaze locking onto the gem once more, their shared smiles bashful. 

A soft giggle sounded from her and Aemond wanted to melt into her all over again. He rested his head against hers, placing a soft kiss to her lips. 

“I love you.” He whispered in the quiet room. 

“I love you.” She told him with just as much honesty and devotion as had sounded in his voice. 

~~

ENJOY! XX

[tomfrogisblue]

i forgot to post this during june but i think one of the reasons qsmp was so important was how unapologetically Gay it was

for starters, the number of creators and admins involved who are irl queer of some variation, just chilling in a place where any kind of phobia would get Philza's legendary ban hammer faster than you could say "rainbow jelly"

and then the characters.

i remember showing up that first day and being shocked that somehow foolish had an ex-boyfriend already (I had missed the squidcraft lore apparently)

that server. gay. all the gay. all kinds of gay.

govermentally assigned platonic husbands that stayed together the whole time (despite one of them being gone for months at a time), not a chance in hell of infidelity. Proud fathers of two wonderful children.

governmentally assigned partners who yelled full volume at each other about cheating any time they were in the room together and between the two of them killed two children.

a grieving father and ex-convict becoming one of the most solid couples in the server, with a beautiful wedding and consistent public displays of affection via the in-game chat.

a demon ashamed of who she was and a lonely detective struggling with family trauma, now with a lil girl of their own, to love together and take care of, with more moms than could ever allow the little girl to ever be lonely herself.

a 2b2t warrior coming to terms with his sexuality with the support of his beautiful baby boy at his side, slowly but surely opening up to his eventual Brazilian Boyfriend. Where they went from the most cautious couple (baby steps) to the most sickeningly sweet couple on the server.

- and this list doesn't even scratch the surface.

gay characters, trans characters, ace characters, aroace characters, gender fluid characters, all kinds of relationships and families.

all presented without negativity or shame.

the point of the server was to exchange languages and cultures, without the biases and barriers seen so much in both the content creator scene and the wider world.

it also had a beautiful little side effect, practically by accident.

our lgbtqsmp.

[thatneoncrisis]

i wrote a big long essay talking about tlt and how it engages with describing the skintones of brown characters its under a read more bc it is so long.

I already left a long comment about this on someone else post but I wish I could study tazmuirs odd little habit of dancing around the fact that Gideon and Harrow are women of color when she describes them, and how this kind of extends to other brown characters

We get a million descriptions for how sickly pale ianthe Silas and cytherea are, what a lovely golden tan corona has, the odd tannish yellow hue of colum, all imagined by her, in her own words, to be white. Then when it comes to Marta and Judith they're called dark like Once in the text. I don't think it's even mentioned for Jeannemary and magnus in the entirety of gtn though I will gladly stand corrected if I missed something. It's such a non factor for them, which normally I would overlook if it wasn't for the aforementioned specificity of how white characters are described on Top of one of the major themes of the book being how John, a Maori man, resurrected a largely Polynesian population and then proceed to rule them using the exact same methods that actively colonized new zealand. Like I just think it's really interesting that in many ways, the story is about two young Maori women completely stripped of cultural heritage, they can't even speak te reo maori they cannot even conceptualize the scale of that kind of loss. Theyve been to earth once and during her brief time there Gideon literally died on it's soil it feels so poignant

Back to them specifically being Not Pale, this is not me saying they would be "less" maori if they were light-skinned that's total bullshit and the entire paradigm exists as a product of European bullshit. My fascination is more with the fact that tamsyn has clearly thought of them as midtoned to dark skinned. I'm going to be really generous and disregard the Tommy Arnold covers- he is a talented artist but he's not the author and Taz stated in an interview that she didn't envision Gideon with an undercut either so he clearly has little liberties he can take and I'm fine with that get your coin dude. For these two I'm going to have to focus on Nona the Ninth, bc for the entirety of gtn, harrow is described as grey, and while I understand that's bc she's constantly under a mountain of white and black facepaint, we basically never get an objective description for either of them. Gideon stand out features are her build, hair and eyes, like a lot of characters, but it could have been pretty easy to throw in a line about how she seems less desaturated than what one might expect from a ninth cavalier, like a rich warm brown, possibly hinting to other characters that she isn't a ninth native

Htn also gives very little to work with, again harrows primary colors are the blacks whites and greys of facepaint and her hair and the reds of constantly sweating blood. The character who's darker skintone is Most remarked upon (also one of the few ever constantly headcanoned) as black, is g1deon. I've actually spoken to a few people about this and there seems to be some actual Mandela effect shit going on where people remember Taz saying he's black despite me never once finding evidence for this. However, this is not a case where I'd be overjoyed to be proven wrong, because g1deon being the one black guy in this entire cast, the one who's dark skintone is commented on the most, being the guy who barely speaks, tries killing harrow with a spear 14 times and then dies offscreen. Not good. Bad, actually

Finally onto ntn, in the beginning chapters Nona remarks her (harrows) skintone is the color of an egg carton. I assume she means the light tan, desaturated brown of the cardboard used in certain cartons, which is fitting for harrow, girls lived in an ice cave for 17 years. This is basically the only word we get on it. I believe a few times the text will say something about pyrrha's (g1deon's) brown Everything; brown skin, russet brown hair, rich brown eyes. that character gets to be viewed and constantly affirmed as a brown character in teh way gideon and harrow arent, it kind of others pyrrha. to contrast camillas hands are called tanned way at the beginning while recording nona's dream, then at the way end it says, "Her face still looked grey beneath its nice normal olive," olive being used to describe her once before in gtn as far as i can see. pyrrha's (g1deon's) skintone is one of her most notable features, its brought up to a noticeable agree the text wants you to keep it in your mind when you think of the saint of duty; "Most of Pyrrha was the colours of the building site: deep dried-out browns, dusty hunks of clay, rusted metal." "Pyrrha wouldn’t burn any colour other than her deep cool brown." "Nona took the water from Pyrrha’s brown, work-chapped hand and even sipped it" "Pyrrha had carried Camilla to bed in her big brown arms like Cam weighed nothing" "Pyrrha said, “Thanks, Nums,” and drained the whole thing. Nona,fascinated, watched the brown column of her throat move as she swallowed." its just notable to me when alternatively with nona you'll get a line like "Camilla didn’t say anything to that either, only rubbed her wrists where the tape had been. Nona’s skin was already back to its nice normal colour." like just the vagueness in nice normal color, we get one line about what shes supposed to look like in the beginning and thats it

towards the end during the broadcast, nona gets her first clear look at kiriona, described as: "warm-coloured skin that should have been a similar brown hue to Nona’s, except that there was something wrong with it." break out the champagne its official

Obviously, dying takes some color from you. If anything, gideons desaturation should make them More comparable given the egg carton comment and harrows general state of constant anemia. Has Nona gotten darker during her time on new rho? Was Gideon lighter than the cover led us to believe? We don't know. We well never know, which is odd, bc these books fucking love purple prose about people's appearances. We have like seven different synonyms for the shade of ianthes hair. New words for black have to be invented in order to convey harrows eyes which are Black, not the dark muddy brown of someone like ortus. It's less that I'm bothered by the text not hyperfocusing on their skin and more it picking and choosing when it will laser focus on a detail like that, and how often it's skipped over to the point that I like, constantly see people draw harrow as incredibly pale, which is very different from being light-skinned

Finally, I know people can dismiss this as like an audience interpretation thing. I know I actively draw harrow darker than Gideon which I know isn't canon. But this is less about Fandom response to the text and more the text itself and how it's like. Afraid to say brown. near the end of ntn i found One instance of it referring to gideons "slim brown hand" on nonas cheek and that is direct as it gets. even her other like, strongly non european traits are sort of danced around. her nose is "a nose that was the complete opposite of Nona’s nose, one that put her in mind of those big poison desert cats Born in the Morning was crazy about." a very fanciful description, you have to infer that nona means that its probably flat and wide, also giving us the information that harrows is most likely narrow and straight, possibly downturned. im not opposed to this, especially given the character talking about her is nona, but then you get the following paragraph:

"Her skin was very much dead-person skin, ashen and tinted the wrong colour around the nostrils and the mouth. But even if she hadn’t been dead, Nona was critical. Her eyelashes were very dark, but short and curly, whereas Nona thought all eyelashes should be long and straight (her own eyelashes were long and straight). The corpse had too much mouth and a dimple (nobody in her home had a dimple). You could not, at least, see the veins in her eyelids, which were heavy and cold and deep-set. But Nona thought it was going to be a shame to go from being so lovely as she was to being so—redheaded."

its a very frank description. dimple, curly lashes, red head, dead skin, probably a wide mouth. her nose is contrasted against nonas nose, which is also never directly described, and then compared to a fantasy animal we have never heard of until right now

kicks rocks. there isnt a point to this. the series is almost over, there is zero reason to like, knock on taz's door and ask why she did this or that. it doesnt stop me from loving the series, and the insinuation that noticing this means i must dislike the series is frankly insane (real thing that happened). if someone got the impression that harrow was white given how shes described i wouldnt blame them honestly, its most apparent she isnt in the third book (with the cover art being incredibly ambiguous) and a single blog post from taz mentioning shes maori, immediately followed by an "oh i dont care how you see the characters" addendum, which i think is like. an odd thing to tack on bc them descended from kiwis is like, very integral to the story, and gideon being the daughter of the maori man who took everything from her she didnt even know she could have and the (presumably, given her name and a very brief description) maori woman fighting to get that world back its like. damn. it feels a little important. that the audience knows theyre maori. like a little. it feels intertwined with the whole thing about john using european standards of imperialism and general aesthetics to hurt his own kid. actually.

[jennifer-jeong]

Smut | AFAB!Reader Men Who Get Feral With You

CONTENT NSFW, 18+, smut, AFAB reader, implied feminine reader, fictional men being fucking nasty with you, hard kinks, multiple orgasm, fingering, choking, spitting, slapping, breast play, biting, marking, blood, praise, degredation, daddy kink, creampie, aftercare!, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

FUSHIGURO TOJI, RYOMEN SUKUNA, MIGUEL O’HARA, WRIOTHESLEY, Childe

WORD COUNT: 747

He’ll squish your face with his hands to make you look him dead in the eyes as he uses 3 fingers to pull another orgasm out of your aching cunt that’s still waiting to be filled up properly.

“Yeah, c’mon baby, you can handle it… Just like that princess,” he’ll say as you convulse on him as waves of pleasure wash over you.

He’ll bottom out in you immediately, barely giving you time to adjust to his size. You’re especially tight from your orgasm only seconds ago but he loves the squeeze and the fact that you’re absolutely dripping with your own release. He slides in easily despite the extra resistance.

He also gives you no warning before immediately starting off at an insane pace. The rough sound of skin slapping already filling the room.

“Mmmf-fuckkk, have I not fucked you properly recently? Y’pussy's fucking squeezing me,” he says while knowing you can barely respond from how fucked out you already are. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your body remembers me tonight.”

He pushes your legs up and folds you in half as he continues his relentless pace, bruising your cervix as he hits you so deep he can’t even bottom out. He’s too big for you but you take him so well anyways.

He’s so fucking filthy with you. He’ll lean back to stop breaking you in half just so he can choke you with both hands. It’s overkill but you love the light headed feeling you get. Your vision blurs as your tongue lolls out slightly. Your heartbeat is in your ears as the sinful sound of skin slapping starts to dampen, your eyes rolling back into your skull.

He fucking loves seeing you so cock drunk for him as he chokes you. Drool starts dripping down the side of your mouth as he rams into you hard, abusing your sore cunt.

When he releases you, you let out a deep groan as the blood flows back into your delirious mind. Your senses hit you like a truck and the bruising grip he has on your hips turns into pleasure.

“Yeahh, fucking take it sweetheart, I know you can,” he groans. “Be a good girl and open up.”

You open your mouth wide to accept the string of saliva he drops into it. Your eyes are lidded as you swallow it.

“T-thank- Ah! Hngg… Thank you d-daddy,” you whimper.

“Good fucking girl, such a good slut f’me.”

He’ll grip your tits hard and give them slaps from time to time as he uses you as his personal fleshlight, not that you mind.

When he gets close he’ll start marking you like he’s in fucking heat. Biting the sensitive part on your neck, sucking at your skin until it bruises. Sometimes he even breaks skin, lapping up the metallic blood that seeps out.

He always likes to make sure you cum with him though. He’ll aim for your spongey spot as he rubs rough circles into your clit.

“Mmph! D-daddy- feels s’good… m’gonna fucking cumm.”

“Yeah? You deserve it baby. Let go.”

You clamp down hard on him, your orgasm finally fully hitting you as he stuffs you full. You throw your head back in a silent moan before high pitched sobs fill the room. You’re barely even registering his words or how bruisingly he’s fucking you at this point. He’s helping you ride your high but it feels like you’re barely coming down, the waves of pleasure keep coming.

“S-shit- c-cumming” he says before bottoming out, his cock twitching as he fills you with his hot cum. He rocks back and fourth as he fucks it all into you.

Your body is shaking and your legs clamp on the sides of his body, wanting to close from the overstimulation. He leans forward to kiss your neck as you both catch your breaths.

When he eventually pulls out, he’ll collect the cum flowing out of you and stuff it back into your weeping hole, not wanting to waste any of it.

He always treats you so gently afterwards though. He’ll run you a bath, give you a nice massage, make sure you use the washroom, and make you some tea.

He gets so feral for you that you wonder if he’s really the same person with how sweet he is with you during aftercare. But, you both know that you just bring out that side of him, he can’t help it when it comes to you.

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[ohcorny]

i reread all of chobits recently as insp for my next TT book and every time i think about some aspect of it all i want to do is rip it open and tear it apart and go "why?". it brings up so many concepts and scenarios within the premise of "what if computers looked like pretty girls" but it doesn't want to commit to saying anything about it or take its own world seriously.

i have a lot to say about chobits. arguably i have more to say about chobits than even chobits wants to say about chobits.

chobits is about sex except it isn't about sex at all. chi's power switch is in her vagina. we're shown images of chi doing sexy things, she gets tricked into doing a strip tease, and two separate men try to finger her and she does her Do Not Touch Me There magic powers thing, and we eventually learn every time she resets from the power button, her memories are erased, so you can't have sex with her without deleting her.

but we never unpack why her reset button is in her vagina, or why it's so important that nobody can ever touch her, or why people's personal computers were built with vaginas in the first place (we never have it confirmed that all persocoms have them, but that two separate men try to touch her there imply it's expected). why do the personal computers shaped like women have vaginas if not to fuck them. as a product, it is expected that you will fuck them*.

*i assume, because the comic never says so!

the man who invented persocoms is the same person who built chi and her sister, and he built them to be daughters for his wife. he put the reset button in chi's vagina. we never find out why. we never get a HINT of why. he built the chobits so they could feel and fall in love, but also built them so they could never fuck. you can extrapolate a reason why a man might build his daughter-androids that way, but the series itself never touches it, and never makes any sort of point about it. it's just presented as an immutable fact that chi can't fuck without it deleting her, as if it was born of happenstance and not a person's choice.

what does that actually say about anything? what is it trying to say about sex? is it about the commodification of female bodies, how once they're used up sexually they're worthless? that if you can't love somebody without fucking them, what good is your love? that love without sex is okay (but also a huge burden and sacrifice a man must accept for the sake of someone else's happiness?)

what does it want to say! chobits is about sex, but it doesn't want to commit to any specific message about sex.

and that's just ONE issue i have with it. there are so many things chobits wants to be about but won't say anything about. it wants to be about the persocoms replacing human connections, we constantly get told 'gee people hang out with persocoms a lot', chitose publishes a whole inexplicable book series about people preferring persocomes to humans. it's to the degree that a prominent character's husband gets So wrapped up in (presumably) fucking his android that he locks his actual wife out of the house, having just straight up forgotten she exists. we don't have anything to say about it though. she falls in love with a new man. the people who hang out with their persocoms too much are all background characters in crowds. we never look at how the rise in persocoms has affected society as a whole.

it wants to be about grief, in the story about the man who marries a persocom and has to watch her slowly degrade until she can't remember him anymore, or the kid whose older sister died and he tried to replace her with a persocom who he dresses up/treats as a maid and lives alone with despite being omega orphaned and 11 years old. but then it's fine. the man who married a persocom gets in a relationship with a high school girl 20 years younger than him (CLAMP!). it's fine! the boy who tried to replace his older sister just accepts that the persocom replacement won't replace her. still treats/dresses her up like a maid and lives alone. is she his legal guardian. i don't know. don't worry about it.

and it wants to be about women, because everything about the story is about women, all the persocoms are women, all the tragedies are wrapped up in the death of a woman, or a woman's heartbreak, or a woman's feelings. but it has fucking nothing to say about women beside look how pretty they are. my boobs are E cup, sempai :) teehee

it makes me insane.

friend @amphiaria put it best as "Unfortunately the story is uninterested in itself" and i can never forgive it for being so aesthetically good, giving us the best design for an android (the ear things are Perfect) and then being So Fucking Bad.

in conclusion: