#i love how comfortable yoongi and jimin were together
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taegularities · 2 years ago
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Yoongi and Jimin on Suchwita are so much fun! Yoongi really asked him ",why are you showing too much skin these days?" Lmao and then saying "your body is not that great, right? If it was like in No More Dream I'd understand" 🤣
they bickered literally nonstop 😭 i just finished watching that episode and i have so so many thoughts?? 🥺
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7ndipity · 2 months ago
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First Time
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: What the members would be like during their first time with their S/o
Warnings: +18 mdni, smut, swearing, mentions of oral, fingering
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! I hope you like it!
Masterlist
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Jin:
I feel like the first time with him would be slightly planned, with flowers and candles waiting when you come home from a lovely date together. But you still make sure to let it happen naturally; if the vibes aren’t right, then he’d happily just kiss you and then call it a night.
If the vibes are right tho, he goes all out.
He can be quite intense at times, but he’d do his best during your first time together to still be gentle with you, with lots of kissing over every bit of your body that he can reach.
I think he would try to keep his own need in check at first, focusing on making sure that you’re completely relaxed and feeling as good as possible.
Once he’s actually inside you though, he would lose all of his composure, rocking into you at such a desperate pace that it takes your breath away.
Afterwards he would be extra soft, and probably a bit shy, hiding his face in your neck as you lay together talking.
Yoongi:
I see your first time together happening very naturally, whether it’s after a romantic date night or the result of a studio makeout session that escalated into you both grinding against each other for relief.
There’d definitely be some tongue technology™ happening. He seems very much to feed off others pleasure, so he would make sure you cum at least twice for each time he does.
Lowkey think he’d prefer you to be on top, especially for your first time together. He’d love being able to hold onto your hips while watching you with glazed over eyes as you find the rhythm and pace that has you both moaning.
Once you both get close to cumming tho, he’d take over a bit, gripping onto you tighter and thrusting up into you so hard that it sends you over the edge almost immediately.
Aftercare would be very soft and quiet, with him tending to you so gently and asking how you feel or if you need anything. He’s also definitely a cuddler, keeping you close for a long while after.
Hobi:
I see Hobi being very sweet and caring during your first time together.
Even though it was rather spur of the moment, he would still want to go slow and take his time with you, making sure that you were both fully comfortable with whatever is happening before things progress to the next level.
There would be a lot of experimenting with different things. He wants to learn every little thing that makes you feel the best and then push them that little bit further to make you see stars.
Despite the intensity of it all, I think he would still be quite playful and very ‘Hobi’ about the whole thing, both of you giggling and teasing each other even as you’re chasing after your highs.
I’ve said it before, but he’d be A+ with aftercare, making sure you’re clean and comfy before pulling you close again and telling you how much you mean to him.
Namjoon:
I see Joon going one of two ways during your first time together:
1. Super soft and tender with lots of soft touching and praise or…
2. Absolutely just fucking railing you after you both snap because you’re both just super desperate and can’t take the tension anymore.
Either way, he’d be super passionate, touching and kissing you with a bruising intensity.
I feel like he’d be very busy with his hands; one second they’re teasing over your chest, the next they’re slipping between your legs to tease and stretch you out for him(he’s very big on prep and foreplay, argue with the wall)
Once he’s actually inside of you, he’s a bit rougher, snapping his hips into yours hard and fast till you're both dizzy with pleasure.
Afterwards he would be super soft and gentle with you, making sure you have everything you need before you drift off to sleep in his arms.
Jimin:
Jimin would be very sweet and passionate, planning out a cozy evening in together, so that you could take your time together without feeling rushed and pressured.
It would start out innocent enough with just some soft, slow kisses, but his hands and lips have a habit of dancing around and making your head go fuzzy, and suddenly you’re straddling his lap and your top’s gone
I see him being a bit of a tease, wanting to see just how desperate and riled up he can make you for him before he finally sinks into you, teasing you with a hand between your legs while he leaves marks along your neck and chest, whispering tiny praises to you as he goes.
Once he finally feels you around him though, he turns almost as whiny and needy as he made you, thrusting deep and fast, desperately chasing your highs while still mumbling praises into your skin.
He would be so sweet with aftercare, not letting you lift a finger while he makes sure you’re clean and hydrated before cuddling up with you and talking til you both fall asleep.
Taehyung:
Tae would want your first time together to be very romantic, tho his perception of ‘romantic’ changes depending on the situation.
Like yes, obviously rose petals and candles are very romantic, but the idea of you both just getting completely lost in the moment and each other while you were supposed to be watching a movie or something is also very beautiful to him.
Either way, he would fucking worship you, tracing over every inch of your body with wide eyed reverence. 
I also see him getting a bit carried away and cumming a little faster than he would’ve preferred, but neither of you would really mind, especially since he’s probably ready to go again almost immediately, lol.
He would be very clingy afterwards, holding you close or laying on your chest, tracing patterns on your skin as you talk until one or both of you fall asleep.
Jungkook:
I think the first time with Jk would be very spontaneous and playful.
I see it happening after you’re both just like hanging out at his place and what started out as just a few teasing kisses spiraled into you pressed into the sofa under him as he fumbles with the buttons on your top.
He’s very much a tease, toying with edges of clothing or just ghosting his hands over where you need him most, but his own eagerness and need would keep him from being too mean, giving in almost as soon as he feels how wet and needy you are for him.
He would be soo intense, but would still try to keep you both grounded in some way, holding your hands tightly in his as he pounds relentlessly into you.
Aftercare would be where more of his soft side would come back, holding you close while you both catch your breath and then helping you clean up and making sure you have water or snacks afterwards.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @universal-travel-er @bo0ghol @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
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ldysmfrst · 1 month ago
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American Mate (14) - Does it Always End in Ruin?
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Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 14 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 10,980
Work count for Story: 107,440
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work because I almost died in August of 2024.
Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, Alphas fronting, a scenting session with hints of a panic attack, comfort, possessiveness, angst, and mentions of giving aphrodisiac-laced chocolates to Jungkook without his knowledge. There are also nightmares containing mentions of past trauma, violence, abuse, and threats of death.
BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit
AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST
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You can scent me in the car.
You… can… scent… me… in… the… car…
It’s not like he is gonna do anything untoward– right?
Your body flushes with thoughts of the many ways the scenting session could go “wrong,” like pinning you in the corner against the door and backseat, ravishing your neck in a way that ensures you have a mark that anyone can see.
Following the hyper-focused Prime Alpha of Bangtan Pack to allow him to scent you in a car like you both were some horny teenagers with no control makes the walk through the Gala a blur.  
With how firmly Namjoon holds your hand and guides you with determination, you aren’t the only one feeling it, right?
But what would the rest of the pack think? 
Your mind was going from things that were not safe for work while simultaneously trying to throw on the breaks.
You were too much in your head battling away the thoughts you shouldn’t be having for a mated man, much less a mated man at a public event with other hybrids that you were 100000000% could smell just what you were thinking of. 
MATED MAN!
Your mind is yelling at you, coming through like a spotty radio, while your body is thrumming with the charged atmosphere that now encapsulates the two of you.
You could be making this up and reading into things too much. You did that in high school, which is why you started shying away from skinship. Who wouldn’t after getting humiliated day in and day out about being an attention-seeking fat whore in the cafeteria with no help from the staff?
Whatever, back to the issue at hand. He has mates waiting for him to come home. You should excuse yourself to the bathroom and call one of them. 
Jin would be a good phone call, and he is the oldest. 
Then there is Yoongi, who is almost powerful enough to be the Prime himself. 
Taehyung is supposed to be helping right now; maybe he… he can… Agh! What teleport to the Gala and leave with Namjoon instead of you?
No, you already let Jimin’s Alpha scent you at your packhouse. Jin, Yoongi, and Jungkook intentionally scented you, with permission, in your current bedroom, which means Namjoon should be able to scent you in a car. 
They all have said they want skinship, and you said you would be willing to try. Now get it together, woman!
Besides, you told Hoseok that everyone deserves a second chance. This is Namjoon’s second chance. You have never turned away someone in need before, and clearly, whatever Lee Min Ho did triggered Alpha Joon to come out, and he needs the scenting session to calm down. 
You were their Playmate, which meant supporting the emotional needs of your assigned hybrid(s) was also part of your job.
The next thing you feel is Namjoon letting go of your hand, which brings you out of your internal argument as he drapes your cape over your shoulders. You watch him as he secures the closure and fusses with it to make sure it is lying correctly.
You are searching for anything to tell you exactly where he is with any of this. You notice the rigid set of his jaw, which hasn’t relaxed since you saw him at the start of the dance with Min Ho. His breaths are almost a perfect count of seven in and seven out, which means he is doing that for a reason. 
When he looks at you again, those forest green eyes are dark and piercing. It’s like time freezes; unlike his even breaths, yours seems to be caught. You can see so many emotions moving behind those eyes, but they are flashing so fast, and you don’t know him well enough to tell what they are before they are gone. 
“Prime Alpha, sir, ma’am, your car is here,” says Jen. Startling you like she came out of thin air. Smiling at Jen and moving towards the car, you hear Namjoon speak with her in hushed tones. 
Now that you can breathe again, you take some cleansing breaths before you climb into the car and buckle up. Scenting is simple. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. 
You are in a car, for god’s sake. 
As you smooth out your skirt, Namjoon gets in on the other side of the car. Careful not to touch you, he turns to face you, his calculating eyes searching your form. You can hear Jen get in the front, but the partition is up.
Licking your lips out of nerves, you hear a low growl next to you. Suddenly, the world outside the car looks fantastic as the car starts the drive back. 
“Y/n.”
Hearing your name said in Alpha Joon’s deepened voice causes your heart to flutter and your eyes to close. You said scenting was okay, and YOU offered to do it in the car. You weren’t raised to go back on your word, nor have you ever left someone in need. 
Since Namjoon is a temporary pack for you, you couldn’t deny a packmate a scenting session. It must be the Luna part of you that wouldn’t let you.
“Alpha,” you breathe out, finally looking at him. 
The stillness in his body and the focus of his attention is something that only a predator hybrid like him can have. It almost pains you to see him so closed off and far away.
“Bergamot and sugar waves,” he says with a slight tilting of his head. “You want scenting but scared of me.”
At his words, you realize just what you have had to have been putting him through while walking from the dance floor til now. Your scent must have been a swirling chaos. 
“Not exactly, Alpha,” you vaguely answer the nonexisting question. “I am not scared of you.” 
While his shoulders drop as his tense leaves his body, his eyes narrow in further contemplation. “What of?”
“None of it is something you have to worry about, Alpha,” you smile, trying to convey that you are physically fine even if your scent says otherwise. 
“Mine,” Alpha Joon says, closing his eyes, tilting his head back and swallowing. “Worry for mine is my job. Now, what of?”
Mine. Mine. He keeps calling you “mine,” which sends a shiver down your spine every time he says it. You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You want to not fall into the delusion that you are his, but you want to not argue with someone as powerful as a Prime Alpha. 
“I don’t know how to give you what you need,” you answer his question in the most roundabout but truthful way possible. Your answer seems to bring his attention back to you, but it is laced with confusion this time. 
“Jungkook scents with his chin, Yoongi scents with his cheeks, but Jin and Jimin seem to do it with touching. I don’t know what you need.”
Realization dawns on his face. You can practically see the times the two of you have been near each other flash in his mind’s eye before his face falls into a pout. 
You can’t help but giggle at his pouty face, which draws his attention to you again, and he pouts harder. 
“I am sorry, Alpha,” you say, then clear your throat. “I, ah, thought that there might be a certain way a Prime Alpha or a wolf may need to scent. I am still wrapping my head around all the different ways. As a Luna, I was typically the one scenting the others.”
“Wolf scenting wrist and licks,” Alpha Joon says, looking down at his own wrists.
“Oh! Jin licked me!” you exclaim. “Well, he licked then bit me,” you continued, looking at the inside of your wrist to see if there was a mark. 
Rubbing over the area where Seokjin licked fills the air with more of your scent. The bergamot is still present but lessened, alerting Alpha Joon that you are starting to relax into the present. 
Moving slowly, telegraphing his goal, Alpha Joon takes hold of the hand you were inspecting. He rubs your wrists together with his free hand, causing his leather and vanilla to join in the mix. 
He can tell when his scent hits you because your whole body loses its tension. The hand he is holding becomes weightier in his grip. A soft smile plays on his lips with pride that you are not rejecting his skinship, scent, or bond.
“Wolves satisfied with this. Alphas need more. It’s our nature.”
“Alphas? Or Prime Alphas?” You swallow before also asking, “More how?”
His eyes trail up your arm, and it feels like fire is licking your skin. They still at the juncture of your neck and shoulder before continuing, pausing along your jaw, then settling their journey when they lock with yours.
“Alphas prefer other areas. Only ours allow intimate,” says Alpha Joon.
Heat flashes through your body and pools low in your abdomen with the memory of Alpha Kook and his ministrations to your neck. 
Breaking eye contact, you blush as you say, “I see. It makes sense.”
“Prime Alpha, more demanding. Add threat of taking mine,” Alpha Joon growls out. 
Your eyes snap back to him with a furrowed brow as you question, “Taken from you? No one in their right mind would do that right now, would they?”
“Bobat try tonight.”
Oh. OH, that is right. This whole scenting thing was because Lee Min Ho danced with you. You mentally smack your forehead against a wall. 
“Min Ho, he would not actually do anything. He was just being a good sport and dancing with me,” you try to brush off his concern.
“No,” he says sternly. “Friends with Tae-ah. Must be nice. Bobcat natural wolf enemy.”
This information, combined with the newly understood gravity of the game Lee Min Ho was playing with Namjoon while using you as the pawn, changes everything. 
Your scent changes from the bergamot of fear to the mint of anger, distinguished by the look on your face and the clench of your jaw. 
“Mad now?” Alpha Joon says, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. The change in your demeanor shows him that you, at best, want to be his and, at least, don't want others to play around like that.
“Yes, I am mad now. How can someone do that to you?” you say with an attitude-driven shake of your head.
Your response wasn’t what he was expecting. He wasn’t quite sure how to take it. He wanted to be proud because his newest mate was looking out for him, but she wasn’t necessarily looking out for herself.
“Wonder what Taehyung will think of his friend’s actions. I don’t think he will like them, but that is to be dealt with later,” you say with resolve. 
Looking back at the man beside you, the resolve shows as your scent changes, yet again, with a hint of lemon: “What do you need to fix what he has done?”
“Cover.”
“Cover? I thought you said he didn’t leave anything?” you press, leaning forward, trying to figure out what he needs to feel like his personal world is safe again. “Tell me, Alpha. What exactly will you cover?”
The direct question of a dominant feeling mate has Alpha Joon squirming a little. 
He wants to put you in your place as Prime Alpha, show you, and not tell you what he needs. He also wants to kneel at your feet and let you lean into your Luna so that he can let go of the tension he is holding because he trusts you to care for him. 
The dominant leader versus the submissive lover. Maybe he can be both?
“Cover his touch,” Alpha Joon clarifies. A flash of shock or fear or nerves flash across your face as he continues, “I saw some, not all.”
“Oh, I see.” Thinking of all the places the sneaky bobcat touched, your hand pulls out of Alph Joon’s as you say, “That is going to be hard to do in a car. That and you don’t know how to tango, Alpha.”
Quickly, Alpha Joon shakes his head, “No dancing. Only scenting touch.” He looks around the back of the car, thinking of how to put what he has to say.
“Dress scented at Gala,” he says with a slight hilt to his voice. You nod, trying to follow along with him. 
His eyes flick between your neck and thigh, “Now skin scent happen.”
It’s like you get doused with water and lit on fire simultaneously. Touching like one does in the Tango feels astronomically different when the same touch is done while not dancing. 
There is no way that you will not vibrate out of your own skin and panic if Alpha Joon continues to look at you like prey while touching you in all the places Lee Min Ho did. 
You will lose yourself and not in a good way. 
What did your therapist Ryan say to do when this happens? What would Derek and Evie say to do?
Control it. 
Take the reins and drive the motions. 
Find ways to grant permission for the next step, next touch, and next level of scenting, but will a Prime Alpha accept that? 
Can you control a Prime Alpha?
“Overthinking,” Alpha Joon interrupts your thoughts. 
“Sorry, Alpha.” 
Taking a breath, you calm your thoughts and focus on the you who can be in charge of hybrids. The you that allows your family pack to feel safe and cared for. The you that loves hybrids more than most humans. 
“Luna,” Alpha Joon states when your sweet pea, bergamot, and vanilla scent starts to weave in the car with a tang of lemon. 
“Yes, you may call me that. I won’t go back on my word. I will allow you, Alpha Joon, to calm yourself and settle your instincts by scenting my skin,” you inform him.
Smiling, the Alpha makes to pull you to him. However, you stop him with a single click of your tongue. Unbuckling yourself, you unclasp your cape and angle your body toward him. 
“Do we have an understanding, Alpha Joon? If not, you will have to wait until the pack can help settle you.”
Shaking his head almost violently, his eyes widen in panic at the thought of you not being the one to settle him. Rubbing his palms on his pants, he looks away from your eyes and turns slightly to show his neck. 
He is submitting to you. It's not a complete submission. Still, it’s a step that makes you feel safe and allows you to be bold enough to keep going.
Taking his hands in yours, you squeeze them in reassurance.
Shifting to the middle seat, the split in your dress widens. Flashing skin from your mid-thigh down, which draws his attention. It’s the same leg, the thigh and knee, where the bobcat held you in the dip as he trailed his nose along your skin at the neck.
“Eyes on me, Alpha,” you command, snapping his attention back to your face. 
“Min Ho held me in a classic hold, starting with a hand on my upper back while cradling my braced hand in his,” you inform as you slide your hand up his arm to his shoulder. “You may hold me that way as well.”
You had thought the Alpha would jump with permission to touch you. This is where you were mistaken. You may be calling the shots, but he was and is a Prime Alpha. 
Changing his grip on your braced wrist, he brings it up like he remembered from watching you. Slowly, his other hand reaches your side and slides around your waist to trail up your spine, then rests between your shoulder blades. The movement brings your body closer to him. 
You wait.
Nothing happens.
You smile gently. “Good Alpha, you are following directions,” you praise him before you lean forward, entering his personal space even more. 
“Classic Tango steps don’t have as much body contact as one would think. It’s all about flashy steps with kicks and flicks. But Lee Min Ho told me he was putting on a show, and that changes things.”
Alpha Joon's voice is confused as he tries to hold you just as instructed, but you keep coming closer. Your scent is invading. Mixing his scent with yours settles something profound within Alpha Joon’s soul. 
The words ‘keep in control’ repeat in your mind, almost creating their own tune as you try to maneuver yourself into the next hold used by the bobcat. As you lean in, you run your arm back down Alpha Joon’s and push it against the seat's backrest.
“Don’t move,” you instruct him.
“Yes, Luna,” he agrees, hinting a slight rumble. You pause momentarily, waiting to see if that rumble becomes something more. You continue when nothing happens, and his eyes remain on your face. 
Shifting to an angle facing you away from a whimper sounds but is cut off quickly. Glancing back up at the Alpha, his cheeks are dusted pink. It seems the Prime Alpha shocked himself with that sound.  
Now, you are sitting with your back to his front but not touching. 
You clasp his free hand in yours and lock your fingers with his. Your braced hand grabs the wrist against the seat and guides it to your stomach. 
Thank heavens that he cannot see your face now. 
Maintaining your posture is one thing, but not reacting to the heat emanating from him while his hand softly glides into place over your dress is not something you can control. 
It feels nerve-racking, but in the best of ways. Wait…what is going on with you? You shouldn’t be reacting like this. He is mated. You didn’t act like this with Jin, did you? 
You know what it is… it’s because of this morning. That’s right, with the shirtlessness, the feeding, the nesting room, all the suits… it’s that. 
There is nothing wrong with you. 
Nada.
You just happen to be stuck in a packhouse with wildly attractive hybrid younger men who know they can make almost every woman, even some men, creme their jeans with a savvy smile.
They are just flirty, like Derek and Lily. 
That’s all.
“Wrong,” a deep voice comes close to your ear as you are pulled backward, making your body fall against the wolf behind you and stealing your breath. “Hold like this, he did.”
“Yes, that is correct, Alpha Joon,” you agree with your eyes closed. His firm chest against your back has a warmth that is encompassing you. 
Your control of the situation is slipping; maybe you never had control in the first place. 
“Next touch, Luna?” he asks with his breath brushing your skin. 
Right next touch… next touch… what was next. Oh. Your eyes open and dart to your knee. Min Ho took you into a dip with his hand on your thigh near your knee. 
Well, there are two ways to do this. Robotically and cold or intimately and warm. Again, it’s about keeping control.
“I don’t know, Alpha. Can you be good and follow directions, or will you move Luna as you wish, like you just did?” you question.
Almost immediately, Alpha Joon tries to retreat but has nowhere to go. You are still holding his wrist and interlacing your fingers. He has become trapped between you and the door. 
“Ah, uhah! Words, Alpha Joon,” you chid softly.
“Sorry, Luna. No more. I will follow.”
“Good, now only touch where I guide you, got it?”
“Yes, Luna.”
Leaning against him more, you bring your knee up through the slit in the dress. Breathe in and out, staying in control. Covering the hand on your stomach with your braced hand, you tap it twice and move back towards your waist. 
You smile when his hand moves to stay under yours. 
Once at your waist, you slide both of your hands down to your hip and over the top of your thigh– slowly. Basking in the warmth of his hand over the dress felt terrific, but you practically melted when the heat of his hand graced your bare skin. 
Your body automatically responds in a blanket of goosebumps and a pool of dampness between your legs. It’s tantalizing and something you haven’t felt in years. 
Behind you, a soft, almost growling purr kicks up in Alpha Joon’s chest at being able to feel you without a barrier. 
You continue to guide his hand to the bend of your knee, and as firmly as you can, you say, “Min Ho sent me into a dip and secured me by holding my thigh near my knee.”
In a gravel-filled voice, Alpha Joon says, “I saw. May I?”
“Yes.”
Keeping the pace you had set, Alpha Joon’s hand slides out from under yours, farther down your leg and to the outer side. His fingers are splayed out as they clasp under your thigh at the back of your knee and squeeze. 
You, luckily, were able to control your body from jerking at the electric zing of arousal that courses through your system like his is cupping and squeezing something much more private. 
However, luckily for the hybrid behind you, your scent flashed into a heady mix of sugar, sweet peas, and vanilla. 
If Alpha Joon hadn’t already been affected by the scenting up to this point, he was now, which was making his pants very uncomfortable. His mind reeling with thoughts of what you would smell like on a night of passion.
Buzz Buzz
A huff leaves the Alpha as he answers the intercom from Jen, “Yes, Jen?”
“Sorry to interrupt, Prime Alpha, but we have been sitting at the packhouse for a few minutes,” she says timidly. Clearing her throat, she said, “I don’t know if you wanted the others to know you are here, however, someone keeps peeking out one of the windows.”
“Thank you, Jen. We will head inside now,” Alpha Joon informs her, releasing his hold on your leg and letting go of your hand. A blush comes over you as you realize just how into the moment the two of you had become.
Alpha Joon exits the car as you return to your original side and put on the cape again. As you are reaching for the door, it opens. You smile at the gentlemanly act Alpha Joon is showing you.
Getting out of the car, you accept his hand to help you keep steady. Smiling, you turn to thank him, “Oh. Namjoon, Thank you. I take it Alpha Joon was satisfied with the scent and stopped fronting?”
Pulling you softly and guiding your hand to lock around his arm, he leads you towards the pack house. Shaking his head, he says, “Not exactly. We are in our territory now, and no one can take you from us here.”
“Ah, I see. I am sorry the scenting wasn’t enough. I promise I will learn more to improve,” you rapidly reply, your heart sinking at the thought that you failed to comfort the Prime Alpha. 
He stops at the front door, your words halting him. “You misunderstand, Angel. You were scenting and allowed our scenting just fine. However, due to arriving at the packhouse already, we could not complete the covering, and he, well we, didn’t think you would be comfortable enough to continue.”
“Couldn’t complete?” you question as you try to replay the dance. Your eyes widen when it hits you: “My neck. Wait, why would I not be comfortable after the whole car ride?”
“The packhouse is where it went downhill, and I could have lost you. I could have lost you for the pack. I don’t deserve your attention here, Luna,” answers Namjoon. 
Not once has he looked at you during his explanation. 
He is avoiding being himself because of that one misstep. You still haven’t forgiven him, but you aren’t mean-hearted. It may take a while for you to be comfortable with him regarding unannounced scenting sessions or the random hugs that some of the others do, but right now, it is planned.
“I umm… I know you are one and the same, so he is always there, and I don’t know if this is possible, but can I talk to Alpha Joon, please?” you ask tentatively, trying to regain his attention.
He finally looks at you, his eyes curious and cautious. Slowly, they bleed from the outside in with the forest green of Namjoon’s hybrid side. 
“Hello again, Alpha Joon. Your presence has been frequent tonight, and I am glad you fronted at my request. Thank you, Alpha,” you begin, trying to convey that you are in a good mindset and not panicking or upset.
He simply nods. His curiosity and nervousness are evident in his face and body tension. 
“I may not be happy with how my position was proposed, but I will not let that affect your ability to be who you are– the Prime Alpha Wolf-Hybrid of Bangtan Pack.” 
He shakes his head, starting to deny any further action is required when you step closer. You tilt your head to the side and back, barring the area that Lee Min Ho had traced.  
You watch his attention drop to your neck from the corner of your eye, and a sneer flashes on his face before he closes his eyes to collect himself.
You will for whatever calming, reassuring scent you have to push out, not that you even know what you are doing. Softly asking, “Please finish, Prime Alpha.”
Unknown to you, your scent follows your wishes as the vanilla of the mate bond blooms with your sweet pea. It washes over the Prime Alpha as your bond solidifies more. His vanilla and leather respond in kind and blanket you.
For a moment, you both bask in the scents surrounding you. The natural reaction of being near one’s fated mate unfurls. 
Driving on almost pure instinct, Alpha Joon closes the gap. His warm, large hands grip your waist and hold you in place. His eyes are sharply watching each and every microexpression on your profile.
The second you became connected, it was like your brain went offline. 
Your arms find their place around his shoulders, sinking your good hand into the locks of silky hair at the base of his neck. Your body tingles at the feel of your fronts pressed together, making every breath like a soft caress. 
The soft puff of breath on your jawline causes you to pause. The first touch of his lips on your skin releases you from your hold. His soft, measured kisses trailing your jaw to the base of your ear feels like nothing you have felt before. 
Somewhere in your mind, alarm bells go off because this feels like more than just a scenting session. The rest of you, the part with control now, is letting go and basking in the moment.  It feels like so much, but not enough at the same time.
A gentle flick of his tongue on your earlobe triggers a shiver down your spine and a soft, almost inaudible but needy sound to escape you. 
Whispering in your ear, Alpha Joon says, “I have you, Luna. Always will.”
Those simple words feel like a world of promises. 
Adjusting his hold on you, one hand going to the back of your head to angle you into a deeper bend while the other is securing you around the waist, Alpha Joon continues his scenting of your neck. 
His plush lips feel like feathers gliding along tantalizingly. Warm and playful kisses leave a trail of embers in tandem. Nothing lasts as every movement, marking, and pressure point is brief. 
Your mind battles between wanting to stop before you go too far, angering his bonded mates, and needing something more but what you don’t know. You are in uncharted territory now. Scenting your family pack NEVER felt like this. Hell, making out with Eric never felt like this. 
“Alpha,” you whine, not entirely sure you know what you are whining for.
THUD
Muffled scuffling is heard with pained noises and an “Ow, that was my tail!”
It’s like a bucket of ice gets poured over you, snapping your senses back into reality. The once comforting and secure hold you were relaxed into becomes a cage. The lingering feel of his kisses now burns like a hot branding iron. Within seconds, your skin pales, and your scent disappears. 
Looking up at Alpha Joon, you see him glaring at the door. Taking advantage of his distraction, you push out of his hold. Stumbling back against the front door.
Even more scampering is heard, along with a few colorful words, as your unknown audience races to hide somewhere inside the pack house.
His glare softens as he looks at you; his jaw is still set, and his fists are clenched at his sides. As the seconds pass, it registers with the Alpha that you have closed off everything. Silently, he curses whoever was just behind the door.
“Y/n,” he says, stepping forward, unclenching his hands, and reaching for yours. His eyes blend back to their deep brown as he scrambles to find a way to fix this.
“Thank you for tonight, Alpha. It seems your mates are waiting for you,” you say. 
Taking one last look at the man who stole your inhibitions and released the ardor you thought you had lost, you grab the door handle. Bowing, you feel your heart clench and your throat tighten as you whisper, “Good night, Namjoon.” 
Before he can say anything or do anything, you are inside the packhouse and in your room. You close the door with a slam and fall against it. 
For the first time in forever, you allow yourself to cry. No, not cry, but weep. Weep for what you don’t know. Was it getting caught with Namjoon? Was it for falling out of a position of control? Was it for the child you lost? Was it for every heartbreak you have experienced?
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You don’t know how long you stay there on the floor in a crumbled gown, tacks of mascara dried on your cheeks, and numbness blanketing every inch.  
The packhouse is silent. You know the pack must have heard you, but you don’t have enough left to acknowledge that right now. 
With stiff limbs, you stand up and make your way to the bathroom. Taking off your heels along the way, leaving there wherever the land. Your earrings end up on the bathroom counter, at least. 
Getting ready for bed, washing your face, and the rest of the routine are robotic. Walking back into the bedroom, you make to climb into your bed, but what you see stops you in your tracks. 
There is a carefully made nest against the wall– Jimin. 
He mentioned that he might make a nest for you to come home to. You sit on the edge of the mattress to observe the time and attention that went into making it. The center is filled with pillows of different sizes. The wall is covered with even more to protect you from its hardness. You note the intricate weaving of blankets around the edge in seven colors. 
It’s a clear representation of their mate-bonded pack. It’s perfect, just like they are. Crawling in the middle of it will ruin it. 
You already have ruined enough tonight. 
Looking around the room, you decided to sleep in the sitting window. Curling into yourself, making yourself as small as you can, you cry again, but this time, the sobs are silent, and the tears are dry.
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The Packhouse living room had been set up like a movie theater. After seeing your pictures in the group chat, they all wanted to watch you and Namjoon walk the carpet together. They had popcorn and sodas and cuddled together, waiting and watching. 
Constant commentary flowed as they watched others on the carpet before the two of you were first spotted. The world seems to slow once they see you– their newest mate. You looked every bit the perfect mate they knew you were. 
You were wise with your choice of words. You knew when to speak up or let Namjoon guide the conversation. Your smile and giggles made each one wish they were with you instead of their Prime Alpha. 
It wasn’t left unnoticed how you seemed to charm everyone, gaining flirtatious comments from interviewers and even the occasional unwarranted extended hugs from other stars. How Namjoon kept his cool was beyond everyone else. 
Maybe it was a good idea that he was the only one there. 
Taehyung was already making a mental list of all the people to disregard in future interviews for disrespecting their claim on you. He wasn’t the only one. As a pack of Alphas, it was nearly impossible for them not to want to bite off anyone’s hand that touched you. 
“She is doing really well,” comments Hoseok. He was worried the most because of your insecurities about being photographed. Having experienced self-image issues in the past, he knows how hard they are to deal with.
“I think her team was constructive with that aspect. They made getting ready for this event so much fun for her,” Yoongi says. 
Jungkook nods in agreement, “They were talking about trying to find a way to make Bethany Ann’s team her permanent prep-team for events and such.”
“Really? She liked them that much?” asked Seokjin, grabbing his phone and texting Manager Sejin to demand this assignment happen ASAP if it hasn’t happened already.
“Yeah. How long do you think they will be there? Joonie-ah normally only stays long enough to let everyone know and then comes home,” Yoongi asks.
A chorus of replies came, all pointing out the same fact– no one had a clue. 
This prompted Jimin to bolt out of Hoseok’s arm, yelling as he went, “Everyone get me a heavily scented blanket and whatever pillow you want Y/n to have in her nest!”
Confusion fell over most of the remaining pack. Taehyung and Jungkook were the only ones to get up as if they knew what was happening.
“Jinnie-hyung, can you grab the stuff in the dryer?” asked the youngest mate.
“Sure, as soon as you tell me what Jimin is doing with Y/n’s nest,” responded Seokjin, as everyone stopped moving to listen. 
Looking around, Jungkook could see that the hyung line was all clueless. “Oh, Y/n was breaking down her nest at 7 am this morning and wanted to return our items because it didn’t feel right anymore.”
Yoongi moved forward, asking, “What do you mean return them? She doesn’t want our scents?”
“Nooo, that isn’t it. She… her mom wouldn’t let her keep up her ‘blanket fort,’ and so she was tearing it down at 7 am. Tae-hyung and Jimin-hyung, we all talked to her about it. Turns out, she was giving it back because she thought they needed to be cleaned and didn’t smell right.”
“But what is Jimin doing?” prompts Seokjin, still looking for the answer to his question.
Bouncing on his feet, Junngkook says, “She said Jimin could build her a proper nest to come home to because she might be too worn out to make it herself.”
A mixture of shock and giddiness spread across the rooms, followed by chaos. Everyone was practically running upstairs to find and scent the perfect blanket. Seokjin got the drying and called everyone to get what was theirs. 
Meanwhile, Jimin took the regular bedding down to your den and started getting to work. It was typical for Jimin to take the lead on making the nests for the pack, but what wasn’t expected was for Jimin to restrict anyone from helping. Anytime one of his mates came near the bed, Jimin would growl. 
“Jimin-hyung, I was the one who figured it out in the first place. I can be here and help,” whined Jungkook. 
Everyone knew that logically. Jungkook had heard your restless night and fixed it with little help. By all means, Jungkook was now responsible for ensuring your sleeping needs were being met. 
With a growl, Jimin refused to let him come any closer. By now, Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok had all gathered to watch the exchange. Curiosity peaked at the unusual behavior of their normally docile tiny mate. 
“Jimin-ah, Kookie is right. His Alpha has taken this responsibility, and you really shouldn’t deny it,” Yoongi says, trying to inject some logic into this situation. 
The increased intensity of Jimin’s growl was unexpected. Not only was growling difficult for a Red Panda hybrid to make, but it was also typically saved for dangerous situations. 
The room fell silent, aside from Jimin, and the Alphas stepped back. None of them wanted to challenge Jimin regarding his drive to make a nest for their new mate, but his actions were not welcomed or appropriate as far as the rest were concerned. 
After a stalemate of what to do, a bouncing Taehyung joined them. “Hey, are we gonna keep… What’s going on here?” asked the tiger as he took in the tenseness of the room. It is clear to him that it’s everyone against Jimin right now, but why?
“Hyung won’t let me help get Y/n’s bed ready when she comes home to sleep. It’s my area to care for,” whines Jungkook, his ears now out and drooping low with sadness. 
Walking into the room further, Jimin’s growl lessens as his attention is now on the tiger, but it still hasn’t completely gone away. Raising his eyebrow at Jimin, Taehyung sees that the nest isn’t complete, and Jungkook still holds his scented blanket.
“I think you guys are getting it wrong,” comments Taehyung, turning his back to Jimin and pulling everyone else’s attention. “Hoseok-hyung, you were there when Y/n agreed to build a nest for her. What did you offer?”
Scrunching his brow, Hoseok answers, “I said we could replace what she needed, and Jimin could build her a nest.”
Taehyung waits to see if they catch on, but when seconds go by, and no one connects the dots, he says, “You offered her a nest built by Jimin. Only Jimin. She said she would love to come home to a nest built by Jimin.”
“It’s a charge,” says Seokjin with understanding. “Jimin is charged with making a nest for Y/n before she gets home. Jungkook, give Jimin the blanket, and then we all need to leave.”
Thumping his foot in protest, the bunny hybrid whines,  “Buuut Hyung…”
“No. This isn’t about sleeping. It’s about a nest. Jimin has always been responsible when it comes to the pack’s nest and that won’t stop now,” corrects Seokjin.
“Wait, Jungkook, look at the nest Jimin is building. Is there anything you or Jimin think it could need more to help provide a proper nest and comfort for sleeping?” offers Yoongi.
Jimin and Jungkook take in the nest as the youngest hands over his blanket, taking in the amount of blankets and pillows. Jimin starts to weave the new blanket into the rest around the edge. 
“Namjoon’s scent is not as strong as the rest of ours,” says Jungkook. Looking at Jimin, he waits for his thoughts on the comment to which Jimin starts counting. After double-checking that he is only counting six blankets, Jimin nods at Jungkook.
“Will you be okay if I got you his blanket and maybe another pillow of his for the nest you are making for Y/n, Jimin-hyung?” tentatively asks the youngest Alpha. 
Jimin makes a squeaking noise as he undoes the nest wall to make it better once the Prime Alpha’s blanket is brought down. Noticing that no one has moved, he jumps off the bed and pushes everyone out. His antics are met with laughing and teasing by the hyungs.
It takes Jungkook and Jimin almost two hours to complete the nest. Well, actually, it takes Jimin two hours to make it while Jungkook turns into his personal errand boy. Jungkook has been sent to have different mates at more scent to items or change it out for something different because it feels wrong.
All of the mates don’t complain or argue about the requests. They are grateful that their Jiminnie is slowly returning to himself, and their new mate is the only one to thank for this change.
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It has gotten late, much to the pack's dislike. They wanted to see you in your gown in person, not on a screen and not from yards away.  Namjoon had already promised them his date with you would end when you got home. 
Seokjin, having already had a date with you, retired for the night. He had seen you in a dress, felt your skin against his, and basked in your body's heat.  While he would love to experience those all again, he would be patient and wait his turn.
That patience was nowhere to be found in Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung. Each of them took turns checking the driveway for some indication you were almost here. When the car had pulled up, the three of them were practically glued to the window. 
It wasn’t until Yoongi yelled at them to stop being creepy and wait for you to make it in the door that they stopped their window-watching. Chuckling at their actions, Yoongi and Jungkook left them to bombard you as they also turned in for the night. 
However, when some time passed and you both were not in their presence, they grew restless again. Using their hybrid skills of being sneaky and light-footed, Hoseok and Taehyung make it to the door. Leaning against the door, they catch the conversation on the other side. 
Doing their best to tamp down their scents and not interrupt, the two of them listen to the rustle of clothes, the sounds of increased breaking, soft and uncontrollable moans of desire, and the smell of an intimate scenting session. 
They are giddy at their Prime Alpha's progress with the newest mate. Taehyung’s tail curled and uncurled on the floor in anticipation of being able to elicit the same reactions from you. 
THUD
A sharp pain flies up Taehyung’s tail as he hisses, turning around to see that Jimin, in all clumsiness, has fallen off the hall bench and landed on Taehyung’s tail, crushing it with his knee. 
Jimin freezes while Hoseok scrambles away from the door and hurdles upstairs, taking multiple steps at a time. 
“Ow, that was my tail!” Tae screeches. 
THUMB
The front door rattles.
“Shit. 빨리 가다,” bitingly says Tae, pulling Jimin along the way, who is whispering apologies the whole way. Meanwhile, Tae is cursing in every language he knows because he caught you turning off your scent.
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Jimin was restless. He knew the boys had heard his mistake, not that he was the only one to blame, but he was still worried. He was worried that what happened ruined your night with Namjoon. 
Namjoon scent could be smelled down the hall. It was a mix of anger, annoyance, lust, and despair. Your scent was nowhere to be found. Jimin had tried to find comfort with Hoseok, but he only said to wait till the morning to see what repairs were needed. 
That wasn’t acceptable.
He tried to peek into Jungkook’s bedroom to see if he knew what to do, but the youngest Alpha was nowhere to be found. Jimin went to your den’s door to see if he could hear anything. Maybe if he knew you were slumbering away, he could calm down.
However, he did not hear the even, slow breaths of someone sleeping. It was the staccato breaths and sniffles of someone crying. How did he not hear them til now? 
Were you a master of hiding your tears as well as your scent?
What does he do now?
With how the shadows moved along the bottom of the door, Jimin knew you were leaning against it. He couldn’t open it, or he would hit you. Did you want someone to come and comfort you? 
Why had you just crumpled at the door? 
Did Taehyung and his actions at the door bother you that much? 
Not knowing how to make anything better but unwilling to leave you alone, Jimin sat against the wall next to your door. He sends out his calming orange scent with a hint of vanilla, hoping it will slow your tears. 
He is reserved to stay there all night if he has to.
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Nearly two hours later, he hears movement from your room, which startles Jimin. He thought maybe you had fallen asleep against the door. Watching the shadows play along the floor, he can tell you to get up and go farther into the room. 
Should he knock now? 
What are you doing?
Will you finally seek comfort in the nest he carefully made for you?
After hearing the sounds of water and more rustling of clothes, Jimin realizes that you are getting ready for bed. You shuffle around the room for a moment. Then he can hear you get on the bed… wait, you walk again.
Where are you going?
What’s on the other side of the room?
At the sound of your renewed staccato breathing far away from his nest, Jimin joins you in your silent cries from the hallway. Thoughts of failing to build a proper nest, thoughts of ruining things for you with Namjoon, and thoughts of you rejecting the mate bond taunt him behind your closed door. 
He will fix this. 
He will be the first mate you see when you wake up. He will find out what is wrong and correct it. He has to, and he will make Tae help.
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Evil cackling laughter is heard before the voice says, “Filthy mongrel, tear it down before someone sees.”
“Of course, Mama. I won’t make it again,” you say with tears in your eyes.
“You are just an attention whore,” a male voice says.
You shake your head, “No, no! I thought if I did it… I just wanted you to like me.”
Another female voice sounds off. “He only keeps you around because you are easier than a blow-up doll and warmer, too. " 
Wiping off your face from the lunch they just dumped on you, the sounds of the cafeteria’s laughter making you dizzy. “He said he loved me.”
“Just act like a normal human being, Y/n. Then maybe you won’t be so pathetic,” the older woman says, pulling you by your hair and throwing you in the closet. “Now stay there and reflect. Don’t you ever tell a soul.”
“Meemaw! No, let me out please! Don’t leave me here!” Your cries go unanswered for days, all because you cuddled on the couch with Evie and three of her brothers in a Kitty pile.
“Why would I want a child with you? I’d rather you die.” Eric’s voice goes on repeat.
That’s when the pain starts. 
You feel the slaps across your face, the kicking of your stomach, the snapping of your ankle, your lungs filling with water, and the never-ending feeling of falling down the stairs.
“Y/n!” You hear your voice being called and know that more torment is coming. Your body starts to shake.
“Y/n, baby, 내꺼. Please, wake up. Naekkeo,” a pleading voice breaks through the hazy of the nightmare you are having. 
Still being shaken by someone’s hands, you sit up like a shot, and panic that you are going to get hurt floods your system. Your eyes are wide and unseeing what is around you causing your eyes to dart around the room, looking for danger.
It isn’t until hands hold your face and force you to look at the person sitting next to you. You see Jimin with worry, pain, and so much more etched on his face. 
“Y/n, Naekkeo, you are safe at the packhouse. I have you,” he says gently but with surety. His eyes never leave yours, the orange and vanilla scent falling over you like a blanket. 
“Ji..Jimin?” you clarify, grabbing his hands to ensure he is real. Tears falling again, you launch yourself into his arms. “Jimin, it was a nightmare, right?”
Caught off by suddenly having his new mate in his arms, he is lucky that the instinct to protect you is so strong, or the both of you might have ended up on the floor. Scooting to sit properly in the window seat, he pulls you into a more secure hold. Wrapping his arms around your trembling form, he puts your head on his shoulder and rocks slowly.
“Yes, Naekkeo. It was all a nightmare. You’re not hurt,” Jimin reaffirms by pulling you a faction closer. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble against his neck as tears wet his pajama shirt. 
“No, nightmares are not something to be sorry about. Something causes them to happen, and it is beyond your control. Do you have them often?” 
“Not really. I haven’t had them in a while, but they still come. They usually last a lot longer than this.”
“Not anymore. We won’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.” He hears you take a breath to say something, but he cuts you off: “Don’t worry about us missing out on sleep or something like that. We will lose more sleep if you know you are going through them without us helping you.”
He feels you relax more in his hold. Brushing your hair out of your eyes, Jimin looks at you again with a soft smile. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You shake your head and clarify, “I think I should tell Bangtan together. I already explained some to Namjoon but…”
“You only want to say it once,” Jimin finishes your sentence. “Makes sense but can I ask you a question?”
Sitting up more, pulling slightly out of his hold, you get held in place firmer. Surprisingly, you don’t feel the need to tense up. Instead, it warms your soul that your nightmares aren’t detouring him and that he still wants to be the friend he promised initially. 
“What is your question?”
You see his eyes flick up and then back down to you, his eyes distant, like he is trying to find the right words. A moment later, he looks you dead in the eye, alerting your mind, and asks, “Why did you not sleep in the nest I made for you?”
“The nest?”
Timidly, Jimin bites his bottom lip and nods to the bed, “Did I not make it well enough?”
Glancing to the bed, you see the nest again. It’s then your scent comes crashing back. Your sweet pea is slightly moldy, hinting at perfume tones and a splash of bergamot.
Jimin instantly sends soothing scents and rubs your back, “It’s okay if you don’t like it. Everyone likes them in different ways.”
“It’s not that, Jimin. It’s lovely.” Looking back at the Alpha holding you with a smile filled with sadness and longing. “It’s perfect. I didn’t want to ruin it.”
Confusion fills Jimin’s face, looking between you and the bed. His mouth opens and closes like a fish before he huffs. Without another thought, Jimin stands, cradling you to his chest, one arm across your back and the other hooking under your knees.
“Jimin! Jimin, put me down. I weigh like 1,000 pounds,” you say in high-pitched but hushed tones, trying not to wake up the rest of the house. 
It's like your mind wants to get out of his grasp, but your body never wants to let go, which is why you have a vice grip on his shoulders despite your words.  
A soft but low growl comes from him. Looking down at you, with a now deadpan face, he says, “I am an Alpha. I was made to pick you up no matter what. How would I be able to protect you, hold you, and comfort you if I couldn’t?”
Stilling in his arms, you take in the feeling of his engaged but not straining shoulder under your grip.
Finally, he starts walking again towards the nest. You watch his face in slightly shocked awe. There is no trembling, no sweat on his brown, no indication that you are too much for him. You are dropped inside the nest before you can ask questions and unpack this new information.
“Jimin,” you whine, only for him to sit outside and level you with a firm look.
“I made this for you. Jungkook helped a little, but each of Bangtan contributed a blanket and at least one pillow to add to your nest. Do you want to know why?”
Still, in a semi-balled-up fetal position, you are covered in a multitude of scents. You want to know, but you don’t, “Jimin, thank you for making this, but I think… I think…”
“You think we are taking it too far? Think that if you start accepting your situation more we will hurt you like others in your past?” he questions.
Breaking eye contact, you look at the woven blanket wall of the nest again. “The seven of you are so tightly woven together that the world knows who all of you are. Most people who dislike K-pop will at least have some idea of who BTS is. I don’t want to ruin anything.”
A chuckle comes from the red panda, “You won’t. It’s impossible.”
Now it's your turn to chuckle: “Oh yeah, sure, that is why you guys had a whole new contract written up. If I were a regular Playmate, then I could see you saying that, but…”
“But you are not,” Jimin cuts you off. “That is why nothing will be ruined.” He scoots closer to the wall of the nest and tilts his head, asking, “May I come in? I want to see something.”
You glance at him before looking around again, noting that the nest he made is, technically, big enough for at least one, maybe two more people.
“You can say no. You can say no to all of us. You could have said no to Namjoon-hyung tonight as well,” Jimin states again with total seriousness. 
You can say no, but is it improper to say no?
You can say no, but will you always say no?
You can say no, but did you want to say no? 
With the look in Jimin’s eyes, the scents surrounding you from the nest, and the little voice inside your heart, the answer is No. 
No, it's not improper to say no. 
No, you won’t always say no.
No, you want to say yes.
“You can join me,” you say just above a hushed whisper.
Carefully, with his eyes still locked with yours, Jimin climbs over the nest wall and finds space between the wall and you. He lays with his back to the door, facing you. 
Once Jimin settles, your body uncurls and relaxes instinctively. Your braced hand finds the hem of his shirt and holds on as you turn to face him. The other hand bounces between resting on your side to the bed, under your head, and back again.
Telegraphing his intention, Jimin clasps his hand in yours and settles it between you. The breath you had been unknowingly holding releases, and you breathed in the pack again, but this time with Jimin's more robust, fresh scent. 
“There she is. My Naekkeo smells like sweet peas and vanilla again,” smiles Jimin. 
You blush this time at the name Naekkeo; Jimin is calling you sweetheart in Korean. He had said it before, but you were so panicked from the nightmare that the translation part of your brain was offline. 
“Y/n, I will be as honest as I can with you. Please listen to everything I have to say before you say anything and know it is okay not to say anything,” Jimin states with a questioning look. 
You snuggle down into the comfort of the nest and nod at the Alpha. Jimin smiles fondly at your actions as he tries to figure out just how to tell you enough but not too much.
“Playmates were forced on Bangtan Pack at the beginning. PD-nim said if we accepted them, the rest of the industry would accept them. It would save the lives of hybrid Idols from turning feral or losing them to suicide.”
You sucked in a harsh breath but kept quiet, letting him continue.
“We didn’t say no. We didn’t think we could. Our first Playmate came with all the bells, whistles, and services included. She got mad when none of us would touch her. None of us wanted to. She repulsed us with her outright desire that stunk up a city block.
“She even tried to use some of those aphrodisiac chocolates on Jungkook-ah. Once Namjoon-hyung found out, it was war. He went after the Playmate’s company, PD-nim, and even threatened to break our contract with Hybe and BigHit.
“After that, all of our Playmates had the contracts you saw. In fact, most of our playmates were homosexual female-identified, which made it easy because, well, we are all males. Contrary to popular belief, even though we are a male mate-bonded pack, most of us still appreciate the female body and have experience with it.”
You giggle at the random fact. You had figured the pack wasn’t opposed to being with either gender after a few of the songs that Lily showed you. Jimin just raised his eyebrow in question, but you waved him to continue.
Pulling your hand to his chest, he continues, “When you came crashing into our lives, everything changed. Yoongi, Jungkook, Seokjin, and I were the first to realize that you were different. It wasn’t long after that the rest understood that, too.
“We wanted you in our lives before your hand got broken. Actually, Yoongi wanted away from all the Playmate scents so badly that he left the observation room to run right into the reason why.”
Pulling your hand up, he kisses the back softly, then looks at you again before clarifying, “You. None of us see you as a Playmate, Y/n. There is a reason why the contract we took on says there is the option to integrate you into the pack. We are just trying to explore what it is during this time.
“At the end of the contract, we all may better understand what has happened or is happening. Then, together, the eight of us will discuss what happens next. Just remember, you always have the right to say no.”
The silence following is not deafening, but it is heavy. 
You were given so much information all at once. Mostly, you wanted to punch their first Playmate while praising Namjoon for being an incredible Prime Alpha and protecting the pack. That is two Playmates now that you understand need a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin’.
Jimin’s words confirmed what Taehyung and Hoseok had said before you signed the contract. He was there then and agreed, but you still had doubts. How much you want to trust them frustrates you, but you question everything you do.
Maybe it’s not them that you don’t trust.
Maybe you don’t trust– you.
God, your brain has too much going on right now. The plethora of information, the adrenaline of the nightmare wearing off, and the comfort of the nest with Jimin makes you sleepy. 
Stifling a yawn, Jimin chuckles. 
“I have so much to think about now. Thank you for sharing everything, Jimin,” you say. “I think… I think I want to talk to the pack tomorrow if I can. I need to tell them about my nightmares, my ex, and let them know what you told me. Maybe we can all clear a few things up.”
The red panda barks pleasedly, and a bright smile graces his face. “I think that is a beautiful idea, but right now, Naekkeo, you need more sleep,” he agrees and moves to get out of the nest, pulling a whine from you.
It shocks both of you. Jimin looked around to ensure he hadn’t knocked over anything in the nest. Meanwhile, you are blushing at the fact you literally whined at the thought of Jimin leaving you alone in the nest. 
“Naekkeo?” questions Jimin, still frozen in mid-climb.
“I am sorry. I didn’t mean, I shouldn’t,” you blabber.
Turning back to you, Jimin cradles your face in his palm, drawing your eyes to his. “You can ask me anything.”
“Can you… can you stay… in the nest… with me?” you hesitantly question. “I mean, you can also say no. Youhaveyourownbedanddonhavetostay.”
“May I answer before you decide for me?” 
“Ah yeah, sorry. I tend to keep…” Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you open them again and say, “Yes, sorry.”
“I would be honored to share your nest tonight,” Jimin says with a heart-melting smile, bringing his hand away from your face. “Where do you want me?”
That paused you… Where did you want him?
Looking at where he was, then where you were, you weren’t sure where else he could go besides where he was now. The confusion must have shown either on your face or your scent because Jimin started trying to hold in his laughter.
Glaring at him playfully, you ask, “What is so funny? Who asks that kind of question? You just lay there and sleep. It’s not me to tell you where you will be comfortable.”
“That isn’t what I meant, Y/n. I meant, like, do you want me against the wall or between you and the bedroom door? Under the covers or over the covers? Big spoon, little spoon, no spoon?” Jimin informs you, watching as each option is said and his heart fluttering at the blush that covers your cheeks at the last three options. 
“Ah… well. You are the Alpha and are the protector-ish one between us so maybe where you are now, between the door and I. Not that anything would come to get us in the packhouse but on principle,” you stammer out.
“Alright, Protector-ish Jimin in place,” he says jokingly as he puffs out his chest. “Now over or under?”
Giggling at his actions, you pull the covers from under you. Snuggling in them, you say, “I can’t sleep without a blanket because I get cold easily. Do you?”
Jimin thinks about it for a few seconds. “Well, I do like to sleep with blankets but I don’t have to sleep that way if it will make you uncomfortable. However, if I sleep under the covers, it will help warm them and in turn warm you.”
Your face drops in a flush of heat as you remember Taehyung’s words, “I am sure someone would be willing to warm you up,’ and you warm up all on your own.
“Ah well, I do get cold, and Taehyung said that Alphas were good at keeping warm. Umm… so you can be under them if you want.”
Nodding slowly, Jimin slips under the covers. His Alpha pushes him to find ways to keep you comfortable. Since you didn’t give a no and didn’t say anything that could indicate you hated the idea, he would do just as you said. Besides, as Protector-ish Jimin, he couldn’t stand the thought of you being cold while he was this close to you.
Watching you, he can tell you are waiting for him to ask about the last part. “Big spoon, small spoon, or no spoon, Naekkeo?”
Your eyes drop to the space between the two of you. Your meemaw’s words hit you again, but then the comfort you felt when cuddling with Evie and Derik followed and finished with the security you felt in Jimin’s arms on the sitting window. 
“You can say no spoon, Y/n. I won’t mind.”
“I used to be a big cuddler, but I… I don’t much more. Um, typically only with my family pack. Can we just lay like this for now?”
“Of course. I will always respect your wishes,” smiles Jimin. You search his face for a hint of disappointment or anger but find nothing but his smile of contentment. 
You return his smile, which quickly becomes a rather large yawn. Giggling, you snuggle down farther, then reach out and take his hand with yours: “Is this okay?”
“Y/n, I had you in my lap and offered to be any spoon you wanted. I think I am fine with holding your hand while we sleep,” he teases you. 
“You’re right,” you giggle. “Well, so you know, I am a wiggler and a traveler. I have been known to end up with my head down and my feet up. So if I get too much, you can wake me up or hold me in place until I stop. Or whatnot. Evie always ends up sleeping on my chest to pin me in place.”
“Hmm, I see. Well, if you turn into a human tornado, then I may have to find a way to tie you up,” he says with his eyes closed, completely missing the shocked look on your face. However, he does take note of your scent turning to honey with arousal. 
Jimin thinks of all the ways Hoseok used his kinbaku and shibari skills as a form of meditation, relaxation, and trust-building practice between them. Maybe Hoseok can use them on you and help you in the same way he helped Jimin with his anxiety and trust issues. 
Either way, the imagery of you in intricately knotted silk or hemp rope makes Jimin very happy that you didn’t choose him to be the big spoon right about now.
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honeylemonteaasblog · 3 months ago
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Your Protectors
summary: Five years ago you went missing, and now that they found you again they’ll never let you go again.
pairing: ot7 x reader
genre: mafia, a little angst but not much, a little fluff but not much, second chance romance
word count: 4.1 k
warning (not detailed): parent abuse, violence, death, sexual violence [protective boys, emotional Namjoon, I’ll burn the world down for you and never let a single flame touch you]
“T-Taehyung” Your voice shook as you looked at the man in front of you. You used to wish that they would come to rescue you, but they never did. You were left to save yourself, and you did. But now one of the boys from your past is here, standing in front of you instead of haunting you in your dreams. To be fair, he looks equally shocked. Taehyung is standing in front of you, mouth agape and eyes wide. Clearly, he didn’t know that you were going to be here. He hadn’t been looking for you, but after all these years you never expect him to be.
“Oh my god. I thought— we thought you were dead.” He continues to babble in front of you, but you can’t stay here. You just killed a man in the bathroom behind you and you need to get out of the club. You glance behind you once before shoving past Taehyung, which was easier then it should of been, but you think it’s because he still looks like he’s seen a ghost. Honestly, you know the feeling.
It takes him a moment to come to his senses so you are already down the hall when he calls out your name. You look back to see that he’s holding his phone up to his ear, probably calling one of the others. You really need to get out of here. Now. As you turn the corner towards the back door you make eye contact with Hoseok across the room. He’s sitting with Jimin and Jungkook in a roped off area of the club, clearly meant for VIPs. Fuck.
You turn before Hoseok can even make a noise, but you saw his shocked expression and you saw him hit Jimin in the shoulder and point in your general direction. You don’t wait for Jimin to look up, instead you turn and run.
You make it to your bike just before the door slams against the brick wall. You want to look back, even if it’s just to get another look at one of them, but you know you shouldn’t so you keep your gaze fixed ahead. You’re on your bike and tearing away before they have time to catch you. Only when you are about to turn the corner, do you glance behind you to see all four of them watching you. You knew that they would be. You want to go to them because you remember how comforting their hugs were, but you know that you can’t, not anymore.
You and the boys were best friends five years ago. Honestly, you were more than friends, but you all were too scared to put a label on it. But none that mattered because all of you knew that you loved one another. Within in your little bubble, the eight of you could simply exist and be happily in love with each other. But the reality was that the world was a judgmental place. All of you were scared that it’s judgement would taint your love.
You’d found the boys when you ran away from home. You were only 16 at the time and they had found you shivering in an alleyway that you’d been sleeping in for a couple of nights. They took you to their small apartment that Yoongi rented. They all lived together most of the time, but you quickly learned that Namjoon was the heir to a prominent mafia family so he couldn’t stay at the apartment often. Seokjin and Yoongi were gone a lot too, helping Namjoon. But Taehyung and Jimin who weren’t much older than you took care of you, claiming that they were older so it was their job to protect you. Jungkook claimed he would too even though you both were the same age, muttering something about being a man that made you roll your eyes.
But they did protect you. The seven of them saved you when you were scared and protected you when you couldn’t. They did their best to chase away all your fears away. Probably for the first time in your life you felt cared for; you felt loved.
You still remember when you went to a convenience store on your way back from school one day, it was in the winter so it got dark early. A man, probably late 20s, had pushed you up against the wall and was trying to get you to come home with him. If he cared, he probably should have chosen a different tactic… you know besides cornering and threatening a girl. It was clear that he didn’t actually care what you wanted, or felt for that matter. You had been trying to push him away when he suddenly was flying off you. Yoongi pinned the man to the floor and punched him. After he got a few good punches in, Seokjin pulled him off the man and told him to leave in voice that promised violence. The guy had ran without looking back.
The two boys turned to you with concerned eyes. Their once angry faces softened when they saw the tears streaking down your face. Seokjin pulled you into his arms and started whispering reassurances into your ear, then they walked you home. The rest of the boys were equally as angry and honestly looked a little upset that they hadn’t been the one to punch the guy. Yoongi just looked smug.
Though the seven of them were involved in the mafia, especially as they got older, they did their best to keep you as far away from it as possible. They promised themselves that they would do everything in their power to protect you. Yet, they also couldn’t find it in themselves to leave you. They loved you too much to ever walk away from you, despite the risks.
So when you were kidnapped they blamed themselves. They thought that they were the reason that you were taken. If only they had known the truth. If only you had told them the truth, then maybe they would’ve been able to help you. At the very least, they wouldn’t have blamed themselves as much; you would’ve been naive to think that the seven boys that you loved, that loved and protected you wouldn’t blame themselves at all. You just wanted to lessen their hurt.
The truth was that you were born into the mafia, just like Namjoon. You were the daughter of a powerful man in the mafia and while he wasn’t the leader, he was still important. He was important enough that you, his daughter, was valuable in securing an alliance with another mafia family. When you overheard your father basically selling you off as a bride to a man twice your age you took your chances and ran.
The first thing you did when you were safe enough, even if you were still staying on the streets, was find some decent looking guy to have sex with. Your family was old school and wanted a virgin bride. You would never let your father take that choice away from you. So, you had sex with a somewhat handsome man, who was young enough, and didn’t ask too many questions or pressure you into anything more than one night. There are times when you’d wish that you would have waited and one of the boys could have been your first, but you also know that, at the time, it was the only way that you’d be able to protect yourself. It was a choice you made for yourself, which felt empowering despite everything. If your father caught you, at least he couldn’t marry you off and tie your life to someone else. It was the only thing you could do to protect your future, and you would take anything you could get.
The boys were always so clear that they didn’t want you involved in their lifestyle, that they wanted you safe. So you never knew how to tell them that you had been involved. That you had run. You knew that they would still love you, but you weren’t sure if they would let you stay with them. When they got worried about a threat to your safety they weren’t the most understanding. You never knew how to bring it up, but as the years passed you thought that you might have truly escaped from your father. You never should have been so naive, so reckless.
When your father did find you and bring you home, the boys had no idea where to look. They certainly wouldn’t look towards your father’s mafia. Obviously you regretted keeping it a secret, but you hated that the boys would blame themselves when they were never the ones at fault. You hated the idea that you were causing them pain because despite everything you loved them.
You loved them with everything you had because in those years together you all had molded yourselves to fit together perfectly. When you were taken away from them it felt like someone had torn your heart out. Even now, five years later your heart still beats for them. You knew that you would never love anyone else the way that you loved those seven men and you carried that with you through all the hard times. You held onto that love like a dirty secret when everything else was falling apart, giving you hope despite the darkness. They might not believe it, but their love continued to protect you long after they were ripped out of your life.
The next time you saw the boys was when you were at the gym. You had been in the fighting ring with Daejoon. You loved fighting him because you were equally matched. It felt good to finally pin him after fighting for a while. Every time you won, even during training, you felt this rush of power. After being at other people’s mercy for so long the little bits of control and power you felt were intoxicating. It’s the main reason why you kept coming back to the gym to train, and why you would often fight in the ring.
You aren’t sure how the boys found you, but really you shouldn’t be surprised. After Namjoon’s father died a few years ago he would have inherited the title. With that came a lot of power, so finding you shouldn’t have been impossible, especially after you killed someone in his club. It’s why it hurt a little more that they hadn’t found you before. You had more or less found them instead. Accidentally, but still.
You heard Namjoon call out your name and you really didn’t want to look up, but he tone didn’t give you much of a choice. They were all looking at you. “We need to talk.” You nodded because despite everything, you still loved them and could never deny them anything, even when it’d be better if you did. It hurt to hear the vulnerability in Namjoon’s voice. To know that after five years, he still cared about you and he still wanted to know you. It hadn’t been a command, but a plea.
You see the pride in their eyes and realize that they had been watching the fight. That they saw you in a new light now. They saw that you were no longer the helpless teenager that had been torn away from them. They saw that you were stronger now and could literally fight for what you wanted. Instead of feeling threatened, they looked proud.
Realistically he should be worried you are a threat, but instead he just looks exhausted and worried. As you walk over to him he reaches out to you like he wants to hug you and it breaks your heart because it feels like no time has passed and just yesterday you were cuddled up on the couch. But that’s not true and the girl that you are now is a completely different girl than who you were when you all fell in love as teenagers. So, he may think that he still loves you, but you aren’t sure anyone is capable of loving you anymore. So you keep your distance and pretend like you don’t see the hurt splash across his face when you don’t fall into his arms like you used to.
“Namjoon” Your voice breaks and if it were possible, he looks even more heartbroken. “I’m s-so s-sorry. I can’t be here.” You shake your head and start to step back because this was a bad idea. You knew this was a bad idea. But you meet Jungkook’s chest instead. His arms come around to circle your waist. “Sweetheart, let us in. Please”
You want to shake your head. You want to pull away. But you can’t bring yourself to move. For five years you’ve dreamed of them and now that they’re really here you aren’t sure how to handle the situation. You may have dreamed about the boys, but those were only dreams. You had given up on them being a part of your life. “I’m not the same girl I was five years ago.” You don’t want me anymore.
The rest of the boys come around you also. “We aren’t the same either, princess.”
You find yourself nodding. With Namjoon now being the head of his mafia family they couldn’t be. And that hurt you more than you wanted to admit, so you pushed that down and tried to focus. “I can’t stay here. He’ll look for me.” Your words are soft as you finally give in and lean back into Jungkook’s arm. He easily supports you, holding you even closer like he is worried you might disappear if he loosens his hold. Its like the only place he knows you are safe is in his arms.
“Who? Princess, who took you from us?” Seokjin’s voice is soft despite the hard look on his face. He looks like he is ready to burn the world down for you. It looks like he would happily watch the world burn around you all if it meant keeping you safe. Some things never change.
You shake your head. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but I worried about what would happen… I thought that it would be okay, but I don’t know why I ever thought that because it’s not fine. Nothing is ever fine.” As you begin to cry and your rant becomes harder to understand. You have been holding yourself together for so long by yourself. You aren’t even sure how you made it because now that you think about it, you are exhausted. Being in Jungkook’s arms and surrounded by the others makes you feel like taking a breath of fresh air after being forced under water. It makes you feel a little lightheaded, but in a good way.
Namjoon’s hands find your face, tilting you up to look at him. It grounds you, just like he always was able to.
“My father.” You feel the men around you still at your words, trying to process this part of you that you never gave to them before. It hurts to think about the lies you told them about your family. They protected you from anything and everything, but you were never fully honest with them. You were so scared that it might change your relationship, that they might leave you because they wouldn’t love you. All those fears are still there, but now you are so much more broken and you can’t imagine that they will ever look at you the same, let alone love you. No matter how kind they may be now, five years is a long time. You are a completely different person than you used to be. You’re broken. You don’t know how to truly love anymore. Well, not in the same way at least. And you don’t know how to be loved anymore.
You’ve been alone for so long that you no longer know how to rely on anyone anymore. Your father made sure that you never had anyone to rely on. He told you that no one was coming to rescue you because no one cared enough. He forced you to become so independent that you weren’t sure what you could offer the men that you still loved. You no longer had anything to offer them, so you weren’t sure why they would care for you anymore.
Hoseok shoved his boss aside so he could hold your face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “It’s okay Sunshine. We will protect you now… like we should have before.” His voice trails off when a look of anguish replaces it.
“Little one, I-I’m so sorry that we failed you.” You feel tears well up in your eyes as you hear Namjoon’s voice break. Namjoon is the head of a prominent mafia family. He is one of the strongest men that you know, but he isn’t afraid of showing his emotion to the people that he cares for. Hearing his voice filled with sorrow, guilt, and pain makes you want to reach out and cradle the larger man. You hold myself back because you can’t.
“You don’t understand. My father will never let me go.” You pull out of Jungkook’s hold a little so you can steel your spine and put on a brave face. You know that you will need it. “I’m not his daughter, not really. I’m just a tool to wield. And he would never let one of his investments go.” You keep your face neutral even as you see their anger. It makes you want to reach out and comfort them, but you don’t. Involuntarily, your fingers twitch at your side.
You swear the you hear one of them growl, you think it came from Yoongi who is standing to your right. He stays just out of reach which makes your heart clench painfully. It’s like he isn’t sure if your really here and the little bit of space between you will protect his heart if you aren’t real. It’s like he wouldn’t survive you being taken from him again, even if it’s only in his head.
“I have to go. I have to leave because it’s the only way that I can protect myself.” The vulnerability in your voice makes them want to bundle you up in their arms so nothing can hurt you ever again. Jungkook’s fingers twitch at your sides because he want to hold you closer, but knows that it isn’t his decision to make. Enough men have made decisions for you; he won’t.
They would gladly be your shield if it meant that you could rest for a while. They would take on the world for you. They would take on anything and challenge everyone who dared harm you no matter the consequences. There is nothing they wouldn’t fight if it meant that you wouldn’t be forced to be alone again.
“I know that you can protect yourself, little one. I know that you are capable of fighting your battles, and I will gladly stand by and watch you.” Namjoon sounds so sure of himself. He sounds so sure of you and that confidence alone makes you look up to meet his eyes. You aren’t sure what you expect to see, but all you see is pride in his eyes. He looks so fucking proud of you and you aren’t sure what to make of that, not used to seeing such emotion.
“But just because I know that, it doesn’t mean that you have to prove it every time. Letting someone else protect you doesn’t make you weak.” When you glance at the others around him, you see they are all looking at you with the same promise. They are looking at you like you hung the stars and moon. Like you are the only thing that matters. They look at you with such intensity and emotion that you feel yourself shifting on your feet from the weight of their gazes. Jungkook’s hands land on your hips and pull you closer to his chest.
“I-I know. And I want to… I really do. But I don’t know how to.” You find that you are telling them the truth. You wanted them to save you for so long and even if you did give up, you never stopped dreaming about them. You never stopped loving them either. You don’t think that you could ever stop loving the seven boys that loved you in the best way that they could. The boys that swore to protect you from all the darkness in the world. The boys that love you despite five years of distance. You don’t think you’ll ever deserve these men, but your selfish so you also never want to give them up. You realize that despite everything, you want to be enough for them. You’d fight to be the person that they are worthy of.
They wouldn’t want to hear your thoughts though because to them, you are already everything. You give them a reason to be alive. You are the center of their world and the gravity that keeps them tethered to earth. Without you, they would float aimlessly without any direction in life. So, even if you don’t see it, they will make sure to remind you of that every single day for the rest of their lives. And one day, you’ll realize just how deeply they love you and that together you will get through the hard days.
“Shhh… It’s okay. You don’t need to know everything, we can figure it out together.” Jimin rubs circles on the inside of your wrist, trying to comfort you. But you know that Jimin likes to hold the inside of your wrist to feel your pulse. You think that he may be trying to comfort himself, just as much as he is trying to comfort you.
“I’ve always done everything on my own.” You’re barriers that were already barely up around them have fallen away completely. You sink back into Jungkook’s embrace. He peppers soft kisses on your neck and in your hair. His hands tighten around your hips. It makes you smile and twist around to bury your head into his neck. You think that this, being with them and hidden away in their embrace, may be your favorite place. You think that you would feel safe no matter where you are as long as your with your boys.
“We are here now. You’ll never be alone again.” You opened your mouth to protest Jungkook’s reassurance. But he cuts you off before you could even start. “We’ll learn together.” His hand finds the back of your neck and pushes your head into his neck even more, letting you breath in his scent and relax into his hold. You feel all the tension leave your body as Taehyung runs his hand down your spine.
“Let us protect you, not because you can’t but because we want to.” Yoongi’s voice is clear and he tilt’s your chin up out of Jungkook’s neck to catch your eyes so you can see how serious he is. You know that they’ll protect you, they’ve already done that before, but there is something deadly in his eyes that make you think this time they will be even more protective. “It makes us feel useful.” Taehyung presses a kiss to your forehead as if he is trying to seal his promise with a kiss and it makes you smile because for the first time in years you aren’t scared of your father. You know that together you and the men around you, your boys, will be strong enough to take your father down. To get retribution for the pain he caused all of you.
Then you will finally be able to find some peace. You’ll be able the rebuild your life with the men that you love— the men that love you. And this time you’ll welcome their love and express your love for them in a way that you’ve never allowed yourself to before. And no one deserves to be loved more than these men.
It’ll be then that you’ll realize that there is so much strength in being vulnerable and showing the people that you love that you love them. Expressing emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, it is an incredible strength. And that you should never have to find that part of yourself weak ever again because if anyone sees that at a weakness or threatens to exploit it, your boys will take care of it. They will never let anything hurt you ever again, even your own doubts.
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lostbookmark · 4 months ago
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WHISPERED SECRETS MASTERLIST here
MAIN MASTERLIST here
MDNI 🔞
Summary: After four years your sister's ex-boyfriend comes back into your life. Can you keep your entanglement a secret? Will the guilt eat you alive? 
Pairing:  Sisters ex Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader. 
Genre: SMUT, angst, hurt - comfort, romance. 
Warning: Explicit sex, fingering, Possessive Yoongi, swearing, reader is insecure, jealousy, punishment, unprotected sex, drinking, dirty talk, praising, very light degradation, spanking, spanking as punishment, teasing, hair pulling, arguments. Overuse of the name, baby.
A/N Edited by me aka I just throw commas in and see if my document corrects it. 
Yoongi is a bit…mean(ish) in this one. 
Yay!! I have the next 2 chapters written. Posting will be every Sunday US time. 
A little SMUT under the cut. 
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Kevin….Kris….Kihyun. No, none of those names sound right. He's good-looking and easy on the eyes, pretty smile but boring as hell. It's been a week since Yoongi took you home after the intense night you shared. You had stayed the night, and the next morning, you made up an excuse for needing to get home. You were scared to stay longer, afraid he would kick you out. He never questioned you or begged you to stay.  You exchanged numbers, but he never contacted you. You felt defeated.  You didn't tell anyone. Not Lisa or Jisoo. They would never let you live it down. Maybe this is why you let Lisa talk you into showing up at the “hot guy she ditched you for” house party. His name is Jimin. He seemed okay, you guess, but you haven't really gotten to know him. Her love interests never last long. Key…Kang…Kyle. That's it! You think his name is Kyle. 
“I just got back from Milan,” Kyle boasts. He is giving you what you think is probably his most charming smile. “I'll be heading to London again soon. Got quite a few photoshoots lined up. Mostly magazines, but I got a commercial too. I even have some contacts for Paris fashion week. I'm going to be a big deal.”
You really don't care, and you know that sounds mean. Why did Lisa introduce you to him? Did she really think you would hit it off with him?  Damn Lisa for making you come here. Damn Yoongi for not calling or texting you. Damn him for making the feel of his touch still linger on your skin.  Did you do something wrong? Were you just bad at sex. You know that you are pretty inexperienced, but it seemed like he enjoyed himself. He even cuddled you after he cleaned up with a warm washcloth. He was a pure gentleman. He even ran a hot shower for you as he made a quick snack afterward. You may or may not have tried to remember the brand of his shampoo. After some light bickering, he let you sleep on his side of the bed.  So, why didn't he call? Was there someone else? Oh my god! Were you the side piece? Of course, someone like Yoongi would have someone waiting for him.   
“Lisa said that you two have been friends since you were young. You work together too, right? ” Key…no Kyle said and you nod your head.
“Yeah, umm..” You started but were interrupted.  
“Baby,” you turn to see Yoongi staring daggers at you. How the hell did he know you were here? You're pretty sure that your jaw is on the floor right now. Yoongi places himself right behind you. He rests his chin against your shoulder and hands coming together around your stomach. “Who's your friend?” Why does he say it so calmly despite his glaring eyes? 
You freeze, your body rigid, and can't say anything.  One week, it's been one week, and now he's right here. You don't know what to say. Are you supposed to throw yourself at him after he ignores you? You wish you could throw a shitty comment his way, but you don't. It's not who you are. You wish you could tell him that since he isn't interested, maybe you will go home with Kyle. He looks at you and Kevin…no Kyle impatiently. His glare, thankfully, is fully on Kyle now, and you don't want it back on you. Nope, you are definitely not going to say that, even if it’s a lie. 
“Hey man, I'm Kai,” Kai that's his name! You knew it started with a k. “Didn't know she had a boyfriend. Lisa lied to me. Sorry about that.” Kai apologized and rushed out of there. Literally, he walked away as fast as his legs could carry him. You wish he would take you with him. Technically, you guess Lisa didn't lie. 
You turn in his arms to look at Yoongi fully. He looks pissed. You don't know if you should be scared, angry, or turned on. Is it possible to be all three? His eyes looked hard, unlike a week ago. It seems like such a long time ago. Maybe it was just a fever dream, and you made it all up. This Yoongi is different, and it is making you anxious. 
“We're leaving,” he breathes heavily in your ear. 
He takes your hand and threads your fingers through each other. He starts heading for the door, and you have no option but to follow him. You don't want to fight him and cause a scene. You try looking around for Lisa, hoping you spot her. You don't see her, but you do catch a glimpse of Kyle…Kai chatting up another girl. She seems thoroughly excited about it. Good for her. Looks like you probably dodged a bullet there. When you get through the door, you notice his car just down the street a little ways. Lisa picked you up earlier, and now you're kicking yourself for it. Yoogi practically rips the car door open and looks at you expectantly.  He holds the door with one hand while his other is on his hip. 
“What are you waiting for?” He asked. His stare is still cold. “Do you want me to go get Kai for you? Do you need him to help you?” 
“Wh…what? No, why would I…” you were cut off.  
“Get in, baby. I'm already mad, don't make me tell you again,” he told you.
With one last look back at the house, you get in the car. The same car and spot you sat in a week ago. God, a week ago, you were shivering with anticipation. Now, you were confused and honestly a little scared. Where was he, and why was he acting like you had done something wrong? You knew deep down that Yoongi would never do anything to hurt you. However, this is a side of him you have never seen. You didn’t see it years ago either when he was still with your sister. Even during their fights at the end of their relationship.  You even spent a lot of alone time with him back then, annoying him. He never snapped at you. When you couldn't figure out how to parallel park, he never snapped at you. When Lisa got you drunk at homecoming and he had to pick the two of you up, he never snapped at you. He never did anything like this. 
“Cold?” He asks you. You're rubbing your hands together. 
“A little,” you answer softly. You want him to grab your hands and warm them with his own. Instead he cranks the heat. 
The only sound in the car was from the radio and the heat blowing on your cold fingers. You don't know what the song playing is, but the deep bass is slow. It's almost comforting. You want to close your eyes and drift to sleep. Maybe if you go to sleep right now, you'll wake back up in his bed, and you can redo everything. Obviously, that's not possible. Your eyes slide over to him. He's concentrating on the road, and there's a small tick in his jaw. His hand had stayed on the steering wheel. His knuckles were white with his grip. He didn't touch you, not even once. You want to cry. What did you do? Why is he so mad? How did he find you there? What did you do?  The song on the speakers switched to something less moody, and your eyes moved to look out the passenger window. The sky is clear, the stars shine bright and twinkling in the late night sky. You didn't care for it.  Not even one little bit. 
That soft yellow glow of the bedroom was exactly the same. So were his sheets and pillows. The memories were completely vivid and fresh in your mind. The sound of your skin slapping together, his grunts and your gasps. The way he held you when you drifted off to sleep.  You look at Yoongi sitting on the corner of his bed staring at you. His elbows resting on his knees and his right knee bouncing slightly You can't tell what he is thinking. You stand next to a large desk in his room. You think he must use it for work. There's messy paper everywhere and pens scattered all around. You try to focus and see what's on the paper but can't make out the scribbles. Poems, maybe? Does he write? You can't remember if he ever mentioned wanting to write back then. Maybe you didn't pay close enough attention. 
“Look at me,” he snaps at you. Your eyes immediately obey his command. “What were you doing  there with Kai?” Yoongi spits his name out in disgust.  
“I…I..Lisa introduced us. We were just talking,” you said softly. “I don't know him.” 
“So, you were just going to go off and fuck someone you don't know?” He asked and you were taken back. He was basically snarling at you. 
“NO!” You cried out. “I wasn't.”  You were getting worked up. “Why do you care? I haven't even heard from you in a week.” You shocked yourself by actually saying that outloud. Shit. You can't take it back now. 
Yoongi didn't seem amused by your outburst. Cracking his neck, he stood up from the bed and stalked up to you. You wanted to take a step back, but that messy desk prevented you from doing so. Yoongi rests both his hands on the desk, caging you in. His breathing and the sound of your own heart beating in your ears ring loudly in your ears. He runs the tip of his nose against the shell of your ear. Goosebumps race down your arms. Your body betrays you, wanting you to give into him. 
“You know,” he whispers in your ear. “The phone works both ways, baby. Get on your knees.” 
You swallow thickly. You aren't exactly sure what he means. Right here on the floor? On the bed? You decide not to make him wait and drop to the floor right in front of him. Are you supposed to undo his pants? Is that what he wants? You have never given a blow job before. Maybe you can fake it and figure it out as you go. You’ve seen porn. Just don't bite him, and you'll be fine. Your hands reach up and start to undo his belt around his hips. Yoongi chuckles a humorless laugh as he swats your hands away.  Oh, that's not what he meant. Tears well in your eyes out of embarrassment. 
“On the bed. On your knees, ass up,”  he snickers at you. 
You stand up slowly and walk with your head down to the bed. You don't want him to see the unshed tears or your embarrassed face. You know it's red. Your knees hit his mattress, the sheets are still soft. You lean down onto your elbows as you look at him, and he shakes his head at you. God, you probably look like such an idiot for not knowing what to do.  Yoongi walks over to you and puts his hands on the back of your shoulders, and pushes you gently down. Your chest and the side of your face meet the bed. He turns your head gently to look at the other side of the room. There's nothing to see over there besides his closet.  You feel the dress that you're wearing starts to rise up. Yoongi next adjusts your hands. Making sure that your fingers are interlocked above your head. You feel him get closer to your face. His breath tickles your ear. 
“Are you okay?” He asks you.
“Yes,” you say meekly. 
“Good. Stop me anytime,” he tells you as he kisses below your ear. “You thought I was ignoring you? You think that’s why I didn't call you?” He asks, but you don't answer. You can feel him slip your dress completely up and over your ass as he stands behind you. “Yes or no, baby?” 
“Yes,” SMACK! As soon as you answer, he spanks you. It wasn't overly hard but just enough to sting. Your body goes rigid, and your eyes widen comically in surprise. Oh! You honestly were not expecting that.
You wait for him to say something, but you're just met with silence. You don't feel his presence near you. You strain your ears to try and listen for him. Did he leave the room?  
“Y..Yo..Yoongi?” you asked softly and he didn't respond.
Suddenly, there was a tick…tick..tick noise in the room.  Slowly, you turn your head, and you see him sitting at his desk. His shirt is off, hair beautifully messy,  pants undone, but nothing obscene showing. Tick…tick…tick. It's one of those music things, a metronome you think it's called. The pendulum swings back and forth again and again. Tick… tick…tick. Yoongi is watching you kneel on the bed while playing with it in his hands. He almost looks bored. 
“Turn back around,” he tells you slowly. You turn your head back around. Tick…tick…tick. “You know what i was thinking all week?” He asks you. “I thought I was a horrible person. Did I force you here? Did I make you do something you didn't want? You wanted out of here so bad the next morning I thought you were going to have a panic attack.” 
The chair groans a little bit. You can only assume that he got up. You can hear the clicking of his belt buckle as if he's walking to you. You anticipate his touch, but again, nothing. Tick…tick…tick.  The oscillating noise is putting you on edge. The sound of his belt tells you he's close. Your breath is starting to come out as pants as adrenaline starts to flow through you. Your interlaced fingers twitching. 
“I wanted to give you space. I see that was the wrong thing to do. Why didn't you get a hold of me, baby?” He asked. You still can't see him.  
“I didn't want to bother you,” you mumble. SMACK! SMACK! You press your hands together tightly and screw your eyes shut.  Tears blurred your vision as they started to fall. You sucked in a shuddering breath.
“You could never bother me. Instead of talking to me, you decided to ignore me to fuck around with Kai? How do you think that makes me feel?” His voice raises some. SMACK! His hand gently starts rubbing your reddened cheek. Soothing the stinging with his cool palm. You hear him take a deep breath.  “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” you say through tears. “I'm fine.” You really were. “I didn't…” 
“What?” Yoongi asks. His hand is still gently rubbing your reddened skin. 
“I thought you realized you made a mistake. I thought maybe I wasn't good enough for you. I'm not like my sister,” you hiccuped. You pressed your hands tightly together before he delivered the next smack. It never came. Tick…tick…tick.  
“Why would you compare yourself to her? Why didn't you say anything?” He asked. His hand stroked some hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. The strands were wet from tears. 
“Have you met me,” you try to joke through tears. You highly doubt Yoongi thinks it's funny. Yoongi leaned over to look at your tear stained face. Bending down, he kissed the tears away. You close your eyes and welcome him. He's here. The soft, gentle Yoongi is here now. 
Yoongi moved again and stood behind you. He hooked his fingers into your underwear and slowly slid them down your legs. His fingertips tickled the outside of your thighs as they traveled down. He lifted your knees one at a time so he could completely remove them from your body. Then, nothing. Why does he keep disappearing on you? You were tempted to turn and look for him again. Tick…tick..tick. Suddenly, his tongue is on you. You close your eyes and sigh, escape your lips , and fingers tighten together.  You push your hips back against his face to get him closer. His tongue swirls magical circles against your bundle of nerves.  One week, and you realize how much you missed this. How starved for his touch you were. You should have made the first move. This all could have been avoided. He was right. You didn't think about how he felt.  You shouldn't have gotten in your own head. You always get in your own head. Yoongi pulls away. Disappointment floods through your body.  Disappointment doesn't last, though. You hear his belt rattling, and pants hit the ground. He roughly pulls your body to him in one smooth move. Your own clothed back to his naked front. He gently tangles his hand in your hair, pulling your head back. Just like that, gentle Yoongi is gone.  Dipping his head, he slants his mouth over yours. Tongue demanding entrance. You relax and press your tongue against his, tasting yourself on him.  Soon, he lets go of your lips and hands roughly yank your dress down to your waist. You thrust your hips back with an arch of your back. He's hard. 
“Still good?” He asks again, hands and slowly coming up to cup your naked breasts. His fingers tweak your nipple. It sends a jolt right down to your core. 
“Yes, Yoongi,” you reply somewhat breathlessly. 
Yoongi pushes you forward so you were down on the bed again. Chest flush with the bed, ass in the air. His hands grip your hips, bringing you back to him. You feel him run his cock up and down your wet folds. Dipping the head in and taking it back out. He does this several times and it's driving you mad. You try to swivel your hips but he completely backs off with an airy laugh. SMACK! He slaps your ass once more. Grabbing your hair again, he pulls you up   savagely against him. His arm crosses over your chest, hand on your shoulder. He's supporting your weight against him. You tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder. Chest rising and falling with every pant of your breath. 
“I should have fucked you in front of him,” he hisses in your ear. “That way you wouldn't have to doubt me again. Everyone at that party would know your mine now. Kai….Lisa….Jimin.” 
 Yoongi's free hand cups your pussy, giving you teasing strokes. Teasing just like before. Fingers enter you shallowly just to pull back quickly. You look at him and you don't even have time to question him before he's answering you. 
“How do you think I found you tonight? We work together, baby. He likes talking about Lisa.” He explains with a chuckle. “Lisa… she likes to talk about setting her pretty little friend up with a date, but her friend is kind of shy. I took the chance that she was talking about you. Lucky me, huh,” Yoongi answers you as his fingers finally start pumping into you. Your wet, you thought maybe too, went given the situation. Your noises make it obvious how much you are enjoying this. “Too bad you're not available. Kai was pretty good-looking.” 
“Please, I'm sorry. I need you. Yoongi, please,” you beg him. Yoongi kisses your neck. Lightly sucking on your sweat slicked skin as his fingers pump into you faster. Marking you, making you his.
Yoongi lets his grip on you go. You fall to the bed and scramble to get back onto your knees in front of him. You lift your head and look over your shoulder at him. Trying to beg him with your eyes to do something…anything.  Tick…tick…tick. Yoongi finally grips your hips and pulls you back to him. Leaning over you, he places you exactly like he had you before. Chest flush with the bed, hands above your head. Rubbing your red marks with his hand, he deals one more blow before he sinks all the way into you. You sigh. He feels like home. 
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dreamescapeswriting · 2 years ago
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BTS Reaction | Holding Their S/O’s Breast To Sleep
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WORD COUNT: 1.1K Altogether
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2023
⤜MASTERLIST
SEOKJIN:
It had started out as a joke at first, Jin saw someone online say he couldn't sleep without holding his partner's breast and now he was in the same boat.
"Don't." You whined at him as he reached his hand up to touch your boob, normally you'd have no issue with it but tonight however your breasts were feeling particularly tender. 
"They hurt," You pouted turning over on your side to find a pouting Jin, only when the words that your breasts were hurting registered did a panicked expression take over.
"I'm sorry baby, did I do it?" He stared at you as you shook your head,
"I'm getting my period so they're a little sensitive today, do you think you can sleep without hold it?" You ran your fingers through his hair and he nodded at you, cuddling into your side as he slowly began to rub your abdomen - something that usually he did whenever you had your period and it always seemed to help.
YOONGI:
You mumbled when you heard the familiar sound of a camera shutter and you slowly began to open your eyes to see six men standing in front of you.
"You better have a good reason for waking me up." You grumbled out, staring at each of the members who were scrambling to hide the phone away.
"Jimin. Delete it." Yoongi ordered from behind you. The two of you were curled up asleep on the sofa in his studio and the boys couldn't help but snap a photo of Yoongi the way that he was. His hand is under your shirt cupping your boob.
"How can you sleep like that?" Jin quizzed while laughing at the sight, you glanced down at Yoongi's hand and shrugged. It was no big deal, in fact, you'd fallen in love with being able to sleep like this.
"It's comfortable," You giggled slowly sitting up and making Yoongi's hand fall out from your shirt earning you a mumble from him.
HOSEOK:
Hoseok didn't care if it was over your shirt or under it, he simply couldn't fall asleep without holding your boob anymore. It had started when you told him you wanted a boob massage one night and you'd both fallen asleep halfway through and then it continued. Each night you'd crawl into bed together, he'd spoon you from behind and his hands would reach for your breasts.
"It's not just me that likes it, right?" He questioned tonight, wondering if you actually enjoyed this with him.
"No, I love it," You laughed a little, cuddling into him as he smiled and relaxed against your body, both of you laying there in a comfortable silence.
"If it ever bothers-"
"It won't, relax baby. Okay? I like it," You whispered trying to reassure him as best as you could.
NAMJOON:
Namjoon was a boob man all the way so he loved being able to fall asleep holding your breasts every night, it wasn't anything sexual either he just liked the feel of it. It was comfortable for the two of you and he felt as though it bought you closer together.
"What are you doing?" Namjoon pouted as you grabbed a blanket and a pillow from the cupboard,
"Sleeping downstairs-"
"No. No." He whined and dragged you over to the bed, the two of you had gotten into a pretty heated argument earlier and he was too stubborn to apologise for what he'd said to you.
"No apology, no tiddie." You warned him as he stared at you shaking your head at him. 
"I'm sorry I was rude earlier, now please don't sleep away from me." He begged as you both slowly laid back down on the bed, his hands instantly going up and under your shirt to hold you.
JIMIN:
You shifted on the bed, letting out a soft whine as you tried to find a comfortable position to sleep when Jimin's arm wrapped around your midsection and held you still.
"Stop moving," He mumbled against your shoulder before pressing his lips to your skin.
"I can't sleep," You mentioned to him and he smirked, you couldn't see but you could feel it against your skin.
"Awh, can't you sleep without it?" You knew exactly what "it" was and you hated him for teasing you about it. For the last few week's you'd been falling asleep with Jimin holding your boob and now it appeared you couldn't get to sleep without it.
"Shut up and hold it," You begged, snuggling back into him as he moved his arm from around your waist, slowly sliding up and under your shirt before his hand cupped your bare breast and you felt yourself relax against him.
"T-Thank you," You whispered to him before he kissed your shoulder again,
"Anytime." He chuckled weakly, both of you falling asleep just like that.
TAEHYUNG:
Neither of you could remember who had suggested sleeping this way but it had become very obvious neither of you would be able to sleep without having his hands on you.
"I'm not there, go and squeeze Namjoon's pecs." You mumbled through the phone at your boyfriend, it was four in the morning and he called you while on tour to tell you he couldn't sleep without you. You had no idea how he expected you to fix it from 300 miles away though.
"Come on tour with us, I'll book you the next train here." He begged through the screen, you stared at him and shook your head at him he was being impossible right now. Taehyung knew you couldn't drop your job just to go and tour with him.
"You'll get used to it, I promise."
"Maybe I should get those fake ones. The stress ball ones and hold those," He suggested in hopes of making you jealous but you just tiredly hummed and agreed that it could work only making him pout his bottom lip out. 
"I'll fly out when I can get a week off," You grumbled realising he wasn't going to drop this subject.
JUNGKOOK:
The boy's constantly teased Junkook for it whenever you were around and he hated it. Ever since they'd found out about it they'd done nothing but make jokes or pass comments about it.
"Better get here quick Yn, I think Jungkook wants to hold you tight," Jimin said as Jungkook glared at him, you were on speakerphone letting the guys know you were going to be a little late.
"Stop," Jungkook grumbled as you let out a small giggle, to you it was adorable that Jungkook slept with his hand holding your breast - not to mention it was incredibly comfortable.
"They're just jealous baby since they don't have anyone to do that with," You added knowing full well the others were all going to be mumbling and grumbling about it.
"I'll see you soon Kookie, love you." You whispered before hanging up and smirking to yourself.
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bangtaninborderland · 1 year ago
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MYG- I love you eternally.
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Summary: he hasn't been gone long but the space he left behind consumes you, thankfully you aren't ever really alone.
Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, sad fic, happy ending, COMFORT
A/N: this came to me after seeing an edit on tiktok of yoongi clips to fine line by harry styles (deffo listen as you read it makes you cry) this is very self indulgent. I miss yoongi an awful lot, he was my comfort person and it sucks that I can’t stop crying.
BTS Masterlist
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The sound of knuckles tapping on the door pulled you out of your trance, you hadn’t even realised the movie you’d put on had finished, nor that your phone had been receiving numerous calls for the past god knows how long.
Reluctantly you shove off the blanket you had wrapped around you, it was a gift from Yoongi one winter when it was far too cold to sit in just clothing. The door is only a few steps away from the couch so it doesn’t take you long to finally open it.
“I brought foo-“Namjoon's mouth rounds into an ‘o’ shape. “You were crying.”
“Was I?” You frown reaching up to touch your face, sure enough, it was damp from the tears you’d shed. “Sorry, I was just a little out of it.”
“Let’s go inside?” He asks, raising the white bag up a little higher to remind you of the food he brought.
“Oh yeah, of course.” You shake your head stepping aside to let him pass. “I’m not really hungry.”
“Have you eaten today?” He asks, pulling out some plates.
You slump back onto the couch, pulling the blanket around you before shoving your face into the hood of the sweatshirt you’d stolen from Yoongis's closet. The smell comforts you. “I don’t know, I had breakfast or was it lunch…” you trail off, half-heartedly trying to recount your day.
“You can’t let yourself fall apart YN. Hyung will be worried.” He looks at you with a hint of concert as he passes you a plate of food. “Let’s watch something?”
“I- uh.” You really can’t stand the idea of noise right now. “Maybe not tonight?”
“Of course. What did you do today?” He questions, sitting on the other end of the couch, his own plate balanced on his thighs.
“Not much, I watched TV and read a chapter of the book yoon gave me.” You dug the spoon into the food, not really attempting to eat.
It wasn’t your fault you had no appetite.
“Was the book good?” He asked in between a mouthful.
“It… I don’t really know… I couldn’t get into it.” You shrug, bringing the spoon to your mouth.
“It’s 5 pm and you haven’t done anything today have you?” Namjoon sets his plate aside in favour of moving closer to you.
“I miss him.” You mumble, putting your own plate on the table.
Yoongi would have scolded you if he were here, always complaining that it would mark the table despite the fact you always used hear absorbent dinner trays but that was the problem…
Yoongi wasn’t here.
You don’t know what exactly caused it but within a second you were bursting into tears, everything you’d managed to hold together ever since he left a week ago falling apart. “I miss him, I don’t even get to fucking call him.”
“I know.” Namjoon shushes you as he brings your head to his shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “I’m so sorry this must be hard for you.”
“It was so short notice he didn’t even tell m-me.” You hiccuped, bordering between the lines of angry and sad was never a good place to be but you couldn’t help it.
Yoongi had waited until the last possible moment to tell you he had received his enlistment date and when he had received it he was shocked to see a date only 4 days away giving you absolutely no time to mentally prepare yourself for him to be gone.
“It’s so fucking unfair.” You cuss, unable to do anything else with your anger at the situation.
Namjoon didn’t say anything, he couldn’t, he himself knew how ridiculously unfair it was but still, he didn’t regret the group's choice, it was the only right way to deal with the situation. “It will pass quicker than you think. You won’t be alone.”
“Joon soon enough you, Tae, Jimin and Jungkook are enlisting too. It’s not exactly like anyone else knows about me and Yoongi. Other people just don’t understand it.” Yoongi had made a joke two days before he left telling you to cry with other armys about it because they would understand but it was looking more and more appealing as the days went past. “I don’t know what to do with myself.”
Another wave of tears came just seconds later and this time there was no reprieve, anytime you nearly stopped a memory of him would pop into your mind and the tears would start again. You hated how it made you seem crazy, seem overly obsessive but you knew Yoongi would be missing you just as much. You’d become each other strength in all the years you’d been together so now he wasn’t here, wasn’t just a phone call away, it felt like you’d lost a part of yourself, it felt like you’d lost your strength.
That’s how you fell asleep, curled in Namjoon's arms, sobbing in longing for the man who taught you how to love.
Namjoon waited until he was sure you were fast asleep before slipping out from underneath you, draping the gifted blanket over you as he tiptoed to the balcony to take his incoming call.
“Hyung.” Namjoon smiles into the phone. “How are you?”
“As good as I can be, you didn’t tell her right?”
“No Hyung. Are you sure we really can’t tell her about you-“
“No Namjoon-ah I don’t want to get her hopes up, that will only hurt her more if it doesn’t get approved. I’ll tell her if she knows I can call and I don’t want to do that to her. How is she? How are you? ”
“I’m okay.” Namjoon responds. “She misses you.” He continues, not going u into depth about the small breakdown.
“I miss her too.” He breathes, his voice a little strained in the way it gets when he is very obviously holding back tears. “Is she eating?”
Namjoon nodded before realising Yoongi couldn’t see him. “I brought her food she just seemed sad. Are you eating Hyung? Sleeping enough?”
Yoongi laughs as though Namjoon has said something absurd. “The food is shit. I’ve got this fucking melody stuck in my head and I just know it would sound amazing for the vocal line.”
“Ah, Hyung.” Namjoon laughs. “I’ll tell them I’m sure they would appreciate the fact you’re thinking about making their songs already.”
“I’ll probably forget it by the time I’m actually allowed to work on music.” Yoongi huffs.
“I doubt it.” Namjoon hears shuffling, already knowing it’s you. “I have to go Hyung she’s waking up.”
“Make sure she knows I love her okay? I’ll call you again to let you know if it’s approved.” Yoongi rushes out before Namjoon hangs up.
“What are you doing?” You ask him, shivering at the draft coming from the open door.
“Sorry.” He smiles, stepping back inside and closing it behind him. “Just needed some air. So… how about watching something?”
You don’t hate the idea as much as you did earlier, your little thirty-minute nap helping you feel a little better. “Sure.”
You watch 3 episodes of some drama before declaring it a night, Namjoon insisting you eat before he left which led to you both eating an oversized pizza. It leaves you feeling a little less lonely, especially when he tells you just how much he too misses Yoongi.
Namjoon comes over again three more times that week, each day following the same pattern. The days he didn’t come you resigned yourself to laying in bed, looking through pictures and videos you and Yoongi had taken in the past few months.
Today was one of those days, those days where you missed him so much and felt so alone that you’d texted Namjoon not to come, told him you just couldn’t deal with being around anyone else right now, so it surprised you when the doorbell rang consistently for five minutes until you finally gave in.
You groaned, shivering as the floor felt cold against your bare feet. “Namjoon I said not to-
“You really shouldn’t lay in bed every day.”
You froze, too afraid to move, speak or blink in case the figure in front of you disappeared.
“Baby.” He sighed, dropping his bag inside the door before pushing you inside lightly. “It’s me.”
“Fuck.” You sobbed, wrapping your arms around him as tight as you could. “You’re here. How are you here.”
He laughed, the sound of it melodic to your ears. “I did extra time so my training finished earlier. They could t exactly say no.”
“I just- I can’t believe you’re here I thought it would be at least another three weeks before I could even call you.” You bring your hands up to his hair, despite it being short you still love it. “I missed you.”
“Baby don’t cry I’m here now.” He sucked in a breath, his own eyes pooling with tears. “I get to stay for four days.”
“Really?” You pull back to look at him properly, a grin breaking out as he nods.
“Really.”
Despite the tears trailing down your lips he leans in to kiss you, his hand at the small of your back a comforting presence. “I love you.”
“I love you too Yoon.”
The next four days passed much faster than you would have liked but as you dropped him off at the camp again things felt different.
You hated how quiet the house was without him, where he would normally be playing piano, watching a new show jimin had recommended or cooking with a glass of whiskey in his hand, there was nothing but silence.
You were almost ready to give in to your tears again until you spotted a letter on the kitchen counter.
The perfect writing on the envelope already tells you who it’s from, you don’t hesitate in pulling out the paper and reading it.
Hello, my love,
I snuck away to write this whilst you slept, I’m not the best with words although I’m sure by now you’re absolutely aware of that but still there are only things that can be conveyed by words. If I was allowed to I’d write you a hundred songs but I’m a little short on time so I hope this suffices.
I want you to know just how much you mean to me, just how much your presence has brought me happiness, strength and comfort. You often thank me for giving you strength but you forget that you are the sole reason I keep going.
You cannot let the bad days consume you, although it’s okay to give up and take a break, you can’t let that feeling consume you. There is always a tomorrow, always another chance and I know that you will never ever fail because I don’t believe in failure, every attempt is precious, and every time you try to get up - even if it isn’t successful - is precious and I am so proud of you for it.
In the moments you miss me do something nice for yourself, eat a good meal, read a book you like, watch a movie you find brings you happiness and before you realise it I’ll be back, spending every moment possible with you because you are my home.
I will always be here, write me letters, send me messages, take pictures of the things you see and do and share them with me. I’ll always be apart of your life, I’m not going anywhere.
I love you eternally.
You wiped away your tears, holding the letter close as though it were him. You let the words sink in and silently you made a promise.
You’d keep going and do the best you could, you’ll be the best version of yourself when he returns because he gave you the ability to grow much like water does a flower.
And even if you couldn’t say it to him, you were sure he knew…
You loved him eternally too.
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hollyhomburg · 6 months ago
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Before I Leave You (Pt.70)
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(Sneak Peek) (Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: The pack meet with Moonbyul to discuss terms.
Tags: Fluff, drinking and drunk characters, hurt/comfort, trans! tae, dress up, girl on girl fluff, themes of forgiveness, vomiting, eating disorder mention but everything's good, brief sexual content, oral f. receiving, Exhibitionism, car sex, Talks of mental disorders, implied/confirmed autistic jimin,
W/c: 12.1k
A/n: Trying my hardest <3 I'm admittedly having a tough time right now, this chapter felt very nice to write because it's all about the beginning of the packs happy ending <3
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
At least Yoongi is sort of talking to you again. Sort of getting over it minute by minute. It’s hard. Namjoon watches you from where he's sprawled on the couch, holding a near empty bottle of champagne by the neck while Jungkook and Jin wrestle on the floor, sort of making out, sort of scenting each other as they go. Jimin requests a song that Tae would like- and then Yoongi and Hoseok are leaning over Yoongi's phone to make her the perfect playlist. happy to have something new and mundane to bicker over.
Morning is just cresting over the rooftops and the music is just turned down when gets up from the couch, slowly, dizzy. You're perched on the counter in your pj's watching Jimin and Jungkook chase each other around the room. the need to scent and wrestle and get all your restless energy out near palpable.
Hoseok and Jungkook have a tiny paper drink umbrella tucked behind their ears, the same one that Jin stuck in your drinks so that you can keep track of whose drink is whose. He and Jungkook gang up on Jimin to stick one into his hair, the tiny little baby bun that tae tied in his hair.
You giggle as Jungkook gives up and just loops his arms around Jimin's neck, no technice to it and all body weight dragging the three of them to the floor. Sprawled next to the library room door, now open. Tae’s makeup collection spread out on the green carpet like the fallen petals of some red flowering tree.
It changes from wrestling to tickling. and then the three of them are getting up and surrounding Yoongi, a paper umbrella in their fingers, Ganging up on your mate who takes it all with a huff and a surprisingly whiney, “guys.“
You still when Namjoon walks over, the same way you'd still if a wild animal were approaching. He doesn't settle close, just stands next to you, and pours himself the last melted bit of the drink in the blender. Pink and yellow swirling delicately. He makes a noise in his throat and looks at you like he hasn’t barely said a word to anyone in the whole last 24 hours, hasn’t barely said a word to you since you got off the phone with him and Moonbyul left the house. 
You sip at your drink, lips pursed around the straw and when you're done, Namjoon takes it from you and puts it on the counter. You think at first that he might be cutting you off but then he fingers the gauze there.
"I should probably check these." You nod obedient, wordless, unsure what to say. 
Fingers prodding at the red skin, delicate but knitting itself together slowly. “How much do they hurt?” he asks. 
“Probably a two,” you rate, almost without thinking, staring at his downturned eyes. The way his eyelashes still cling together from salt. Face glossy. You want to wash his face, pad across his cheeks gently the way that Jin does after you've been crying (something that you admittedly do a lot- the pack's resident crybaby). 
"So should I consider that a four or-" 
"No, this time I'm being honest," Namjoon stiffens, "It doesn't hurt when I touch stuff unless I'm not careful." Being honest about your hurts and pains has never been easy for you. But Namjoon has shown you time and time again that he's willing to take your hurts and fix them. You have no reason not to tell him the truth. 
Namjoon grips your palm, turning it over his hands again and again, looking down at your love line lifeline all tangled there and leveling you with a look that is neither angry nor resigned.
“Do you notice?” He asks, you swallow. Eyes itchy. 
“Notice what?” His finger presses to the center of your palm, the hollow there. 
“Still dry.” He says. 
You think of the mice, of drowning, you don't pull your hand from Namjoon's grasp, but you know he wouldn't let you anyway. You think about the mice, of dying, of trying to stay dry despite the things that try to swallow you whole. Water is not gentle, water is hungry. The rain pitters against the dark glass and melts the snow outside. But you and namjoon and the rest of the pack are dry and warm and safe in here. 
Your breath hitches, but you close your fingers around his hand and nod. “Still dry.” You agree. 
Namjoon closes his eyes and breaks the tension and this distance between you. Pulling himself between your thighs where you sit on the kitchen counter. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders to tug you to his chest, and breathing deep in the hollow of your throat. 
He pulls back just as abruptly. Hands resting on the counter on either side of your thighs. All up in your space and sour-smelling. It takes great effort for you not to turn away and keep his piercing eye contact. 
“Don’t do something like that again. Ever.” His jaw rolls and his scent spikes angry. But it's all temporary as you nose under his jaw to soothe him. Namjoon has every right to be angry with you for leaving, the same way Yoongi does. 
“Never. Promise.” You hold out your pinky and you mean it. 
Namjoon looks at you for a second, staring you down, waiting for you to look away. But then after a second, he loops his pinky through. 
Coming Saturday May 18th at 5PM EST (Time Zone Adjustments Below)
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pjslight · 18 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP STATUS
You know, something I don't see a lot of people consider is that Jimin and Jungkook simply aren't together.
Now, before everyone come for my throat, listen for a second.
It's the corniest, most common trope of all time: friends that are in love and don't realize it, or realize it, but are too afraid.
A lot of us keep theorizing that they were together, then broke up, then got together again, then broke up, and so goes, or that they have an open relationship, when, in fact, they could just not be together at all for all this time, and not because they're platonic, but because they don't realize they're not, or because they're too afraid, be it because of the group, be it because Korea 🙄
Imo it would explain so much of their dynamic and history over the years. Picture this: they're in love with each other, but they don't realize it, they don't see how the need for physical affection, how the missing e/o so much, how the tension, the care and love are this different with each other than with the other members because their feelings for each other are different from their feelings for the other members. Also known as "idiots in love". Or. They're best friends, they are in love with each other, but they're in the biggest group in the world, and their society is not friendly at all to queer people, so they don't get together.
Although I don't believe it 100% (and don't really like bringing it up), could also explain these "leaked" videos of JK (allegedly). Why, also, they never seem to have a significant other, and I put emphasis on the significant, because I mean someone they love as more than a "fling". (Even if we go based on rumors, which I don't appreciate, but for the sake of discussion, I'm bringing it up). It's true the other members don't really have much (or at all) dating rumors as well, but these two do from time to time, which is also something to consider. The only time Taehyung was in the middle of a rumour was with Jennie (kr/int), Namjoon with "emoji guy" (only int), and Yoongi with Suran (kr/int). The only one more serious was Taehyung's. (You could also say Hoseok and the dancer Irene, but it's barely a rumour). But Jimin and Jungkook? They're always the ones having people make up random rumours of them with random people, much more frequently than the rest of the group, even if not that frequentlyin general. I wonder why is it. Is it to hide something? Is it because they do have random flings? Is it because they're that popular? But Taehyung is as well. If it's true and they have random flings, it's curious that it never develops into a relationship. Now, we know BigHit doesn't confirm anything relating to dating, but we also know Tae was comfortable being "public". So there was really no reason for Jungkook to deny anything, because he didn't even have to read anything to begin with, but he made sure he said "I don't have a girlfriend". They're in a period of their career where they don't really need to deny/confirm anything, and just be. But they don't. And this is typical, and telling.
Again, I'm not saying any of these rumours are true, but considering Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, wouldn't it make sense? They have flings because they can't be with each other, either because they're afraid or because they don't notice, and they don't have relationships because they're in love with each other.
Now, in a scenario where none of the rumours are true, which is the one we have to go as the main one, because rumours are rumours, it also explains the time periods where they seem distant, which isn't often, but happens sometimes. Repression of any kind, because of sexuality, because of the group, because of society, can cause you to shut off from what's causing it, ignore it, try to make it go away.
I won't be the one to say with certain why Jungkook seemed so down in the beginning of last year, but if we consider this theory, well: we know the BS takes months before approval, we also know theirs got approved around July-september. If he thought they would be apart for a long period of time and that's why they started being apart more often (soften the blow), it would explain why he did all those live where Jimin was such a main focus, and why he seemed down in some (one of the reasons, like I said, we don't know what was happening, and I don't like to make all of their lives about each other), and why there was the strange phenomenon of: Jimin flies somewhere abroad, Jungkook starts a live the next day/same day. It could explain the birth of AYS, and why after the middle of the year, he seemed better as well. It would explain the strange feeling we all felt with the first episode, it would explain why Jeju and Sapporo are so much lighter in mood in comparison.
I know they have a lot of moments or things they did that would indicate a relationship, but it would make sense that the reality is (which I'm much more inclined to believe) that they do love each other, romantically, but they don't feel like they can do anything concrete about it (start dating for real, even if private). So they're stuck in this will they won't they, for years. And any time they go a little bit further than they think they should: hickeygate, suckingeargate, gcfgate and so on, they take a step back. Jungkook tattoos something that can be read as JM on his ring finger? It's J for Jungkook (🤓). He does a special birthday romantic video? Starts doing lots of them, he just likes making videos (but can't help himself, so the focus is majorly on Jimin). And so on. They keep doing romantic stuff, because they can't help themselves, but never get in a serious relationship (hence, dating jokes by the other members as well as them being sick of these two together). I know some people will say these can be explained by a "secret relationship", that they do this to hide something from us. I say they do this to hide something from themselves. Repress.
I have many thoughts about this theory, but can't seem to be able to put them together in full right now, so I'll leave with this. Now I'm believing more and more that yes, they have romantic feelings for each other, because by now there's too much, too many things, weird "coincidences", flirting, pet names, gestures, intimacy, declarations, to box them in "they're just best friends" category, the platonic feelings category, but, ironically, I'm thinking more and more that they're are, indeed, just best friends, as far as their relationship status goes.
I think this is why I was always on the fence with them, never knowing what my concrete opinion is, because they seem in love, their feelings for each other seem different than for the other members, but they don't seem to be together. And I was never able to put it into words, but I think I did an ok job with this post. You are all invited to disagree, of course, as long as it's polite, I'm also curious what you think.
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I wonder if I'll change my opinion once they get back from the military.
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7waystreet · 4 months ago
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dirty confessions | park jimin
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This BTS 18+ explicit series will include 7 diary entries (one from each of the bangtan boys) confessing to the dirty thoughts they have about (y/n) and the sinful sexual acts they've part taken in during their lives.
I kindly ask the reader to start with pt.1 and end with pt.7 since it's a series and will contain overlapping scenarios and characters ♡
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✬ foreword pt. 1 — seokjin pt. 2 — yoongi pt. 3 — namjoon pt. 4 — hoseok pt. 5 — jimin pt. 6 — taehyung pt. 7 — jungkook
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pt. 5 — jimin
My dear diary ❀
I have a confession to make. I've always had a deep rooted fantasy about watching my gf (y/n) pleasuring both me and Taehyung together... you know, just like an extra step to solidify our '95 liner soulmate status. And I'm so fucking thrilled to report to you that it finally happened.
Taehyungie doesn't even have to say any words for me to already know how he's feeling... he's a part of me, after all. My intuition that he had the hots for my lovely (y/n) proved to be right when I finally confronted him about it while we were all piss drunk at the karaoke bar last week. I caught him staring at my baby's ass and biting his lips so I light heartedly whispered in his ear if he wanted a piece of that delicious booty, only for him to sloppily slur back "Hell yeah Jiminah, I'd tear her pussy right up like you do every day, you lucky fuck."
Little did he know how hard my cock instantly got listening to his dirty wishes aligning with mine.
Now that I knew Taehyungie was excitedly on board, it felt like a big mission to also convince (y/n) to join in on the fun. Her and I have been together for so long, and I'm grateful to have found someone who makes me feel this comfortable and happy. You already know I've written pages and pages of how much she means to me... which is exactly why I didn't even feel nervous proposing my deepest desire to her. But I was certainly taken aback by the way she reacted to it when I'd asked her.
"What do you think of Tae? Would you be down for a threesome with you, me and him?" I'd proposed while we laid cuddled up in each other's arms on our soft, comfy bed together.
The words "I'm down" popped out of her pretty lips quicker than her fine ass had made me cum the first time we had fucked... quicker than a fucking second, that is.
At first I was confused by her enthusiasm... I didn't understand whether she'd been secretly lusting for Taehyung and was just desperately waiting for this opportunity to spring up. But then again, even if she did, I know for a fact she never cheated on me and went for him behind my back. Sure, he's the most handsome and fuckable man I've ever met, but she loves me too much and I love her and trust her fully. Besides, I was the one desiring this too, so who am I to blame her for wanting the same?
I felt like a damn manager trying to set up a hangout between us three for this heated session to go down, but despite the effort, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. I'll never forget that night.
I'd succeeded in getting all three of us settled on the couch in my apartment while we played a movie in the dark and sipped on some wine to ease ourselves in. Of course we all knew what we'd gathered there for, which was a steamy fuck fest, and it was a bit awkward at first, but my brave (y/n) made the first move by placing her pretty palms on each of our thighs as she sat in between the boys. My spine felt a tingle watching her run her hand up and down my shorts, a soft gasp escaping her lips when she saw my milky thigh twitch underneath her touch, all while his other palm smoothed out the wrinkles in Tae's gray sweatpants as she rubbed his thigh in an arousing way.
Her gaze remained on me even though both her hands moved up towards our dicks, her ability to simultaneously massage our hard ons making me fall in love with her all over again. I could hear Tae starting to taking deeper breaths and with one glance at him, I saw his eyes closed and head rolled back into the cushion as he took the feeling of my gf stroking his cock in the darkness, just like she was sexily doing it to me. My loyal (y/n) leaned into me for a kiss but I shook my head... "Go to him" I told her with a smirk and she smiled right back with a nod, giving me a peck before turning her back to me.
God, she's even perfect from the back.
She sat in between us with knees folded up now, leaning into Tae and slowly placing a kiss on his neck, which got him shuddering, his eyes opening up in a flash to observe (y/n) was solely giving him her attention. His first instinct was to shoot me a concerned look, as if he was asking for my permission, but I gave him a go with a nod and he instantly pulled her closer for a deep kiss. Seeing them swapping spits in a steamy makeout started to get me even harder, and my hands just naturally gravitated towards (y/n)'s perfect ass, which was facing me. I squeezed her ass cheeks through her tiny shorts and she whimpered from my touch, slowly crawling back and bending in her knees to angle her ass up in my face more, all while she leaned down and helped Tae take his pants off for a suck.
I just watched for a while... watched the content look on Tae's face as (y/n) took his throbbing cock into her beautiful mouth, his head flopping back into the pillow again as his eyes trailed down at her choking on his length. "Just like that baby" he kept whispering while holding her hair back in a fist, my own arm reaching over to run my fingers through Tae's black curly hair as he sat there throat fucking my gf. I didn't even care about how he kept calling her baby... how could I get mad about my baby calling my baby, baby?
My needs were growing by the second though and now I just had to pull down (y/n)'s shorts for a taste of her pussy, my thick lips attaching to her folds as I laid on the couch and angled myself underneath her, her back arched up until it almost broke. My tongue on her clit and her moaning in reaction got Tae aroused even more, the faster my mouth played around with her sweet pussy the more my best friend's chest kept rising and falling in heaves.
I couldn't take hearing both Tae and (y/n) moaning so loudly so I gave her clit a good suck and flick with my tongue before getting up on my knees and removing my shorts, my boner slapping up just ready to be stuffed inside my gf's tight little pussy. And the room was now filled with all three of our moans when I slid my length in (y/n)'s pussy from the back, the view of her ass jiggling against my stomach while I slammed my cock into her cunt and spanked her ass cheeks immaculate, all while Tae fucked her throat, a sight I'll never forget.
(y/n) was increasingly getting wet, my cock slipping in and out of her while I grunted from the way her walls gripped me, but I was distracted when Tae whined out "I want to taste her pussy". And I happily let him. We easily switched things up, the harmony between our motions almost suspiciously smooth, as if we were all meant to make this happen... hopefully more than this one time.
Tae disappeared in between (y/n)'s thighs when she laid on her back on the couch, her face turned to the side to allow my cock to slide into her mouth as I stood by the couch near her face. God, it felt so great watching Tae eat her out while digging his nails into her thighs, her legs flailing about and throat pulsating from the muffled out shrieks, my cock hitting the back of her mouth and fully nestled inside like a glove. My fantasy was indeed finally my reality, and I came straight down (y/n)'s throat after I reached that intense high which I'd dreamed about for so long. My bub swallowed my load of cum all at once like the good little girl she is, and Tae looked up to take a note of this after hearing my satisfied sigh. It was his turn to enter her all over again.
Tae fucked (y/n) straight to the heavens to say the least, living his own fantasy himself while I leaned down and sucked on (y/n)'s perky tits to up her sensitivity. I know my baby needs that extra kick to reach her orgasm and I was going to help her achieve that like I always do, right as Taehyungie gave her the pounding of her life. I'd already seen his cock since we've showered together in our dorm bathroom before, but never have I ever seen it so rock hard and erect, the veins running down his length making my eyes pop out. I stared at him entering in and out of my girlfriend's pussy while my lips sucked on (y/n)'s puffed out nipples.
She suddenly pulled the hair on the back of my head and made me come up to her lips, her deep desire to kiss me making me feel wanted and needed. It was a boost to my ego knowing Tae was dicking her down but she still wished for my lips to be sealed with hers and that's exactly what we did... my tongue mingling with her squishy one as she desperately panted for a breath, my fingers still pinching her nipples while we continued to make out with a crazy burning passion. Tae's thrusting pace got faster and (y/n) finally let go, her entire body tensing up and freezing as she orgasmed, my lips placing a soft kiss on her lips as she let out a shaky sigh, her chest then collapsing down and her back sinking into the couch.
Tae let out a groan and finally came into my gf as I coaxed sweet words into her ears, a smile curling up her lips even though her eyes were closed since she likes the praises I give her. I told her I love her and she said it back within a flash of a second, her grin widening up after she opened her eyes and locked them with mine.
The best part was cleaning up and going back straight into watching the movie together, all three of us cooled down and comfortable right back on the couch we'd just fucked on. Taehyungah ended up sleeping with his head on (y/n)'s lap while she tucked her face in my chest, my eyes drooping shut with a deep content feeling as I watched the two people I care about the most rest close to me with a new found appreciation and respect for each other.
I fucking love my life.
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a/n ♡
i imagined jimin wanting to experiment with his best friend and his gf, his appreciation for both showing throughout his confession. the way he loves them is different; he's more possessive about (y/n) but not in a toxic way since he's willing to share her. and he's in pure awe of tae but doesn't neglect his gf or makes her feel less wanted despite this
— he treats his diary like a friend: says "my dear diary", "report to you", "you know i've written pages and pages" as if he's having a convo with his journal
— his romantic side: he always says "my (y/n)" and calls her lots of endearing words like lovely, brave, pretty, stunning, etc.
— his needy side: when (y/n) expresses she wants intimacy with him, his ego is boosted bcuz he loves to feel wanted. jimin acts this way around the members all the time, being needy for their attention
— his will to put his desires aside to watch the enjoyment on tae and (y/n)'s faces: jimin's a giver and he always puts his members first so it's no shock he's willing to let (y/n) go to tae first before he dives in
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chimcess · 7 months ago
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Waterlog || pjm (3)
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Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 12.2k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: toxic relationship (not reader and jimin), arguments, cheating (not reader and jimin), talks about previous child abuse, anxiety attack, strong language, crying, emotional abuse (not reader and jimin), talks of bad parental relationships, abandonment issues, some PTSD, prescription medication use, mentions of depression and mental health, lots of angst in this one, finally making some progress though, age insecurity, mutual pining, lots of side character development in this one, they really are so sweet together, jimin just being the nicest boy in the world, so much PDA, physical touch is his love language 👀👀👀, writing this is so comforting even when its angsty lol, i think that's it, let me know if I missed something A/N: Hello hello. Probably my favorite chapter to date. Bad news is that I think this series might be a little longer than originally intended. My inability to just get to the point has things moving a little slow, but I'm trying my best. We'll have to see, though! Hope you enjoy reading :)
prev || masterlist || next || playlist
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Time went by quickly. Wednesday and Friday morning, Jimin and I met up to train for a few hours and then got breakfast together. When he asked if I wanted to work out with him in the evenings, I agreed. In the beginning, I had given him pointers, but after the second week came to a close, we had started exercising in silence. We spotted one another, made small talk, and went to dinner on the nights he did not go home to be with his parents. We got along and I was happy my overwhelming attraction to him had slowly calmed down.
I was still aware of his presence, the way he smelled, and how often he smiled and laughed, but I had grown used to seeing him walking around in barely anything at all. Hoseok called me a cougar whenever we had time to chat while Andy kept telling me to talk with Jimin about how I felt, but I had gotten very good at deflecting. Things were better and I was taking my wins whenever I could get them. Even if those wins meant I went home sexually frustrated and aching for someone to make it better.
Jimin was packing up for the night and I was getting ready to head out. He had plans with a large group of his friends, so I would have to figure out dinner by myself this time. He invited me but I politely declined. I could vaguely recall how rude his friends from that restaurant had been, and that one girl's mean glare. I had no interest in repeating that.
Giselle waved at me on her way out which I returned with a smile. She was a very sweet, college girl and getting to know her was fun. Her brother moved out here six years ago and was the only reason she left Memphis. In-State tuition and a rent-free bedroom was all it took to convince her to spend some quality time with her big brother and his dog, Lucky.
She and Sam were the closest, but I would often see her eating lunch with Megan when he was with a client. Everyone was making bets on when they would eventually hook up, but I was convinced that had already happened and they were keeping it a secret from the nosy staff.
"See you tomorrow," Yoongi called out from across the room, seemingly appearing out of thin air.
He was out of eyesight before I could reply.
"Bye Yoon," Giselle sing-songed anyway, shoving her ear buds in and leaving before the door could close behind Yoongi. "Night guys!"
As the young woman said, Yoongi and Megan were the two most important people to befriend. Not just for massages either. The both of them were hilarious and kept the back fridge stocked with our favorite snacks. On the mornings I did not have time to eat breakfast, Megan stopped and got me a muffin and coffee from her favorite cafe. If I needed someone to help me out in the pool, Yoongi was always happy to offer himself for the job. It was challenging for me to focus on my swimming when Jimin was around, and I would often come in early to get a quick work out in before he got here.
“You okay getting home?” Jimin asked.
We had come together tonight, and he had offered to drive us in his truck. I had grown very fond of the green machine, which Jimin affectionately called Fiona, and I jumped at the chance to get in his passenger seat. We were usually riding around in my car since it was better on gas.
“Yeah, I’m riding with Sam.”
Sam and I had grown close as well. He was super funny and always down to hang out with me if I showed up by myself. On the odd Sunday I felt like getting out of the house, I found myself at the gym with Sam. I was currently attempting to teach him how to swim and always filled in for Yoongi on the weekends.
Jimin nodded, “Good. See you this weekend?”
I smiled, “Can’t miss your big party.”
Jimin’s 24th birthday was on the 13th and his family liked to go big. Eloise was clearing out an entire section in their restaurant for all of us, and I had found myself teamed up with Taehyung to help with the planning. Na-Yeon put everything in his hands since she was not feeling up to the task this year. I only agreed to help when I realized just how overboard the snowboarder would go if no one was there to reel him back in. So far, I had placed the responsibility of decorating, music, and organizing the gift table on my shoulders. James had pulled me aside and thanked me when he found out. Apparently, he was also worried about Taehyung’s enthusiasm. 
“It should be fun,” He nodded. “I’m going to head out.”
“See you tomorrow,” We had finally started coming 5 days a week. "We're working on your turns. Butterflies, too. Be prepared.”
He groaned, “You’re torturing me, coach.”
I laughed, “Is the baby upset?”
“Very,” He winked. My mouth went dry. Sometimes I felt silly for getting nervous around him, especially when I knew he flirted with everyone. I was not special. “See you Saturday.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled as I stared at his retreating back. “See you.”
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Jimin’s birthday passed quietly. We had a great time and ate well. Taehyung got drunk enough to suggest karaoke once we cleared out the place for the night, and he and Na-yeon had all of us cracking up. I finally met Jungkook’s girlfriend, a pretty girl who did not talk very much, and I could feel the tension between the two of them. Jimin said that was just how they were and to ignore it.
After Jungkook successfully shoved Jimin's face into his cake, we opened presents. The boys got him tons of workout clothes and gear, Eloise bought him a new blender, and his parents both chipped in to get the new video game he had been talking about picking up.
I gifted him a bottle of his favorite cologne after Na-Yeon mentioned he was out. Jo Malone was the most distracting thing in my life right now, its scent clinging to the passenger side of my car most days and driving me insane if Jimin stood too close. Still, it was something I did not think I could part with now. Jimin was happy with the present and hugged me after opening it. I was positive I had this stupid grin on my face for the rest of the night.
By Halloween we were in the gym every day, save Sunday and the occasional Saturday when Jimin needed some time to rest. We both kept our word, our conversation at the restaurant we went to with Jungkook and Taehyung sticking better than I thought it would. Overtime he got more confident when asking for a break and I was a professional at picking up on his body language. We were a good team, and I was confident he would be in great shape for the Olympics.
It was mid-November now and Taehyung had finally gotten around to getting us together for the sushi date in Detroit. I had just gotten out of the shower when Jimin messaged he was going to come along. His mom had a rough Sunday and could not go to their usual dance class, so he had stayed with her instead. He looked worn out when he walked inside the pool room Monday morning so instead of training, I just sent him home. We were meeting back up on Wednesday to get back to work, but it seemed Jungkook’s nagging finally convinced him to come out with the rest of us.
My relationships with his friends had also started to improve. Taehyung had added me to their group chat a few weeks back and I had tried to keep up with them as often as I could remember to. It was not difficult. They text so often I had to silence notifications for the chat, but I had to admit they were really funny. Jungkook especially.
I was happy to spend time with everyone and getting out of the house sounded nice. Violet and Calvin were great, and I did enjoy eating dinner with them sometimes, but I would be lying if I said they would be my first choice to spend time with.
I had grown close enough with Taehyung during the partying planning that his bubbly, over the top personality had become more endearing than overwhelming. We had gone to lunch a few times together, his boldness only increasing with each meet up, and he could hold me hostage for hours if I let him. Milo was typically my saving grace, and Taehyung would leave with a wet kiss to my cheek and promises of the same time next week.
Tae: Y/N should pick you up
Jimin: Why???
Kookie: Your truck is ass
I chuckled and sent off a text of my own before going to my dresser to find something warm to wear. 
Me: I don’t mind driving
Me: Don’t hate on the truck. I like it.
My phone chimed a few times but I ignored it for now. I knew I wanted to wear a pair of dark, navy jeans. It was freezing outside so a long sleeve was a must, but I could get away with just two layers. My hands found a mustard-yellow turtleneck and I smiled. I could wear my brown boots with it. Happy with my outfit, I checked on the chat.
Jimin: U sure?
Tae: The truck is GREEN
Tae: Already a crime
Kookie: It can’t go over 60
Darcy: omg stop blowing my phone up 
Darcy: just ride with her dude
Jimin: Y/N?
I rolled my eyes. I hated when he did that. Jimin had the habit of double and triple checking in with someone. It was sweet but it also drove me insane. There was nothing more I disliked than repeating myself, especially if I already agreed to something. 
Me: I’ll pick you up in 30, k?
Jimin: Thanks
Darcy: Was that so hard?
I frowned. So, Darcy was in a bad mood then. Shouldn't take it out on Jimin, I thought. Even if she was having a bad day, something that seemed to be a reoccurring theme with her, it doesn't mean she can just talk to people like that. Fighting the urge to give into my annoyance and call her out, I tossed my phone on my bed and made myself finish getting ready.
Walking into the living room, I went on a hunt for the jacket I wanted to wear. It was the same color as my leather boots with sherpa trim. It would tie everything together and, I hoped, would keep Taehyung from complaining too much about the “offensive” color of my shirt. He had a hard time accepting anything in the yellow or green family. Finding it on the sofa, I nodded and left it be. I would grab it on my way out. 
It took me more time to get my hair figured out than anything, but once I gave up and did the same thing that I did every day, it worked itself. After that, I put on a little bit of makeup since I figured it would not take me very long. This was a casual outing with friends and the dim lights of the sushi place would give me some grace if things were not perfect. A nice base, simple eye look, and a layer of mascara already had me looking more awake than I had in months. After applying a layer of lip gloss and a misting of setting spray, I was out of the door, jacket keeping me warm, and purse tucked under my arm. 
I drove in silence, like I always did, and pulled onto the curb of Jimin’s house. Sending a text to the chat, I waited for him to come out. I was a few minutes later than I said I would be, but Jimin found a way to be late for everything, so I did not feel that bad about it. Taehyung and Milo were already on leaving Ann Arbor, and Jungkook and Darcy riding with them. They would only beat us there by fifteen minutes or so, but I hoped he would hurry up and come outside. Taehyung worked hard for those reservations.
My phone vibrated and I stared at the little device in my cup holder. It was weird how my anxiety fluctuated on a daily basis. Back home, I could talk on the phone and hold a conversation behind the wheel, but ever since I came to Michigan it felt like I had taken three massive steps back. Taking a few deep breaths, I told myself that I was safe. I was parked, completely stationary, and no one was around. No traffic meant no accidents. Sucking in a harsh breath, I picked it up.
Jimin: Be out in a sec
Jimin: Just making sure mom is okay
He had not left his mother’s house in days. I was worried about Na-Yeon, but I had to believe that Jimin would tell me if something was seriously wrong with her. I had truly started to feel connected with the woman. We joked over dinner and I found myself helping her out more and more each time I came by. It would devastate me if she passed away without me knowing how bad it had gotten. 
Me: Take your time
He came out only two minutes later. Wearing a heavy, black puffy jacket and tight pants, Jimin leisurely walked over and got into the car. His cologne hit me as soon as the door opened, and I bit my lip, trying to hide the deep inhale I took. Jo fucking Malone.
He smiled at me but otherwise kept quiet as I drove. He knew I had a difficult time behind the wheel and tried his best to keep conversation light. While I normally appreciated the sentiment, I did not want to make him sit in silence for 45 minutes. Opening and closing my mouth a few times, I struggled to come up with a good conversation topic.
We often bounced from idea to idea, mostly sticking to swimming and music, and I always found our little talks to be very insightful. Movies and tv shows had been fun to bond over, a small generational gap introducing us to shit we had never heard of before. There were so many things I could bring up, things that Jimin would jump at the idea to talk about. Still, I could not find my voice.
“So,” I started, awkwardly, trying to push past the blockade of anxiety. “Is this place as good as Tae says or is he going off on one of his rants again?”
Jimin chuckled softly. “It’s pretty good, but it’s still just sushi. Taehyung finds a way to make everything sound extravagant.”
We shared a quiet laugh. 
“It was nice of him to invite me,” My hands gripped the wheel tighter. We were starting to approach more populated areas. “He didn’t have to do that.”
Jimin snorted childishly, the sound relaxing me ever so slightly. If there was one thing I hated was driving at night. I was lucky the snow had stopped falling yesterday afternoon and the roads were clear, but a part of me wished I had asked Jimin to drive.
Traffic in Saline was lighter than any town back in Colorado, and driving around was a breeze in comparison. At home, you were lucky if there was only one accident a day, but more times than not I had been stuck on the interstate for hours because of multiple car crashes. Michigan felt less hectic; safer. Not safe enough to let my guard down, but safe enough to listen to Jimin when he spoke.
“Taehyung is just that kind of guy.”
I nodded; eyes glued to the road. I wanted to say something and keep our conversation flowing, but the more cars around us the more I tuned him out. My eyes flickered between my rearview mirror, side mirrors, and windshield rapidly as I drove. Once we were out of Saline and on I-94, I loosened my grip on the wheel. We would not hit much traffic until we were closer to Detroit.
Jimin stayed quiet and looked out the window. I wanted to thank him for being so understanding, but I knew he would not want me to. I kept my thoughts to myself and focused on the road. Jimin began to hum an unfamiliar tune.
My hands were shaking when we pulled up to the restaurant. Traffic had gotten pretty bad coming into the city, but we had picked a good day to come out. Jimin hummed and sang underneath his breath for most of the car ride, and we had a few small sporadic conversations when I felt the knots in my stomach loosen for a few brief moments.
"It's been forever since I've come here," Jimin said to himself, going to unbuckle his seat belt. "It looks pretty filled up."
Bash was a sushi place across from Wayne State University's football field and was one Taehyung’s favorite restaurants. He bragged about how delicious their food was for weeks before finally wearing me down with the promise of picking up the tab. He made reservations for their omakase, or “chef’s choice,” and promised I would get his obsession.
When I talked to Megan about it, she had said it was an expensive meal, so I was going to try and force myself to enjoy it regardless of my own personal feelings. Jimin seemed to like it here, and we usually enjoyed a lot of the same foods, so it made me feel a bit better about things.
I had to park down the street and spotted Taehyung’s Mazda a few cars away. Instead of getting out, I took a few moments to gather my composure. Jimin sat beside me patiently. He had grown used to my traffic anxiety. We had driven together so many times now, and he had gotten a taste of the worst of it a handful of times.
He had only asked about it the first time we rode to the gym together, completely frazzled and unsure of himself as I hyperventilated in the driver's seat. My hands trembled violently as my palms sweat profusely, and I let myself shed a few tears once we were parked. He reached out, placing a hand on my back, and quietly asked me what was bothering me.
“Red light,” I managed to wheeze out. They were doing some construction on the main road and things started piling up. I had gotten stuck in the intersection for just a few seconds, but it was long enough to send me into a blind panic. “Anxiety. Sorry. Need a minute.”
He helped me calm down, calming down to help me through my panic attack. We played a game of I-Spy, Jimin picking out the most obvious shit and saying the most random things to point out in order to make me laugh. When I felt a little better, he got out of the car to help me get out. After that he kept quiet about my obvious driving discomforts, but stuck close just in case I needed the support, and always offered to drive.
“Ready?” He asked when I grabbed my phone out of the cup holder.
“Yeah.”
We walked inside and the hostess made light conversation while she walked us to the back. Taehyung's laugh could be heard from the other side of the room, and his bright blue hair and vibrant eyeshadow stuck out like a sore thumb in this place. Milo was dressed in all black, his arm draped around his fiancé's shoulder, and a smile on his face. Jungkook was beside him scrolling through his phone, but Darcy was nowhere in sight. Glancing at Jimin, he seemed exasperated.
“Trouble in paradise,” He murmured, leaning down so I could hear him. I had to imagine their relationship was very exhausting and took its toll on their friend group. I knew how much it sucked being caught between Tilly and Hobi back in the day. “Here we fucking go.”
Taehyung jumped out of the booth when he caught sight of us, his fluffy, white cropped top riding up, revealing even more of his tanned skin. The snowboarder wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled my hairline, showering me in compliments. Gold hoop earrings tapped my forehead, and his belly button ring was cold against my ribcage. He was happy to see me “dolled up” for once and forgave how ugly my shirt was since I looked “so cute.”
Milo gave me a slight wave, eyes never leaving Taehyung's bouncing body as he embraced Jimin, and Jungkook put his phone down to greet us. Darcy had gone to the bathroom and from the look on Milo’s face, Jimin’s was right about trouble in paradise. Whatever was going on, we were all about to fall witness. It made my stomach churn just thinking about it.
Our waitress brought a new pot of tea, asking us if we needed anything, before leaving with the promise of the first course coming out soon. Darcy almost slammed into the poor woman on her way back to our booth, her annoyed huff making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. When she sat down beside her boyfriend her entire body was rigged and face pulled together tightly. She did not spare us a glance as she sulked.
Darcy was a very beautiful girl and it made sense why Jungkook liked her so much. Tanned skin, green eyes, and black hair, the girl had one of those bodies most women would pay thousands of dollars for. Like Taehyung had said, she was a pleasant enough person, and we did not along well enough to hold a conversation, but there was no hiding the fact that Darcy was not a nice girl. In fact, I would venture to say she was very, very mean.
I saw it firsthand at Jimin’s birthday party. I had a moment where I felt myself panicking. Overwhelmed with all of the noise and people, I excused myself and called Andy to get my head back on straight. The women's restroom was tucked away in a small hallway and allowed me the space to shed a few tears. I was just starting to calm down, Andy's words of encouragement getting back to some sort of baseline, while I rubbed cold water on my neck. That was when I heard Jungkook on the other side of the door.
He was angry and when I told Andy I needed to go, I had every intention of going out there to talk to him, but another voice beat me to it. Darcy had been in a bad mood since she walked through the front door, her shitty attitude bringing down the party every time she opened her mouth. At first, I just brushed it off as an off night, something I could feel empathy towards, but then she opened her mouth and stopped those thoughts in their tracks.
The two of them were serial cheaters, and Jimin had alluded to that being their main issue when I asked about her attitude problem earlier that night. Eloise was the person who gave me the whole story and was not afraid to voice her dislike for the older girl. This was different from Milo, a guy who she clashed with due to their night and day personalities. Darcy had actively picked on and made fun of her growing up, and bullied her older sister while they were in school together.
Darcy, according to Eloise, started the back-and-forth cheating when they were in college. Instead of going their separate ways, something I doubt anyone would have blamed Jungkook for doing, he chose to get even. After fucking one of her sorority sisters, Jungkook made his way through the entire house within the span of three months. In retaliation, Darcy slept with a couple of guys from the NHL, something she still did to this day.
On the night of the party, she was still fuming over catching him with another woman a few days prior. Trapped in the bathroom and too afraid to let them know I could hear them; I suffered through five minutes of a couple’s quarrel I had no business being in the middle of. It was an eye opener for sure and made me avoid getting too close to either of them.
Darcy was very mean and spiteful, her words meant to cut him deeply with little care about how it would make him feel in the long run. She even brought up screwing one of his rivals to get back at him, something she had done on numerous occasions, and went as far as to compare the two men in bed. It helped to explain why Jungkook hated Jackson Wang so much.
Jungkook, despite how much I enjoyed him as an individual, was just as awful. He spent most of the argument defending his bad behavior by bringing up her own and took no accountability for his actions. He could have sex with all of Michigan and it would be justified because she cheated on him first. It was all very juvenile, and I tried my best to avoid them for the rest of the night.
“Bet they can’t go ten minutes without fighting,” Jimin mumbled in my ear.
I fought back a smile, leaning into his side. Physical touch was the swimmer’s love language and I had slowly grown accustomed to small touches here and there. So, it did not catch me off guard when his arm came around my shoulders, resting just above my head, hand gently brushing against my neck. The voice in my head often wished he would do it more often.
“She won’t start something before the food gets here,” I reasoned, stealing a look at the couple. Jungkook seemed fine, but from the look on Darcy’s face that might change soon. “I’ll say twenty.”
“What are we bargaining for?”
I laughed awkwardly, “Whatever you want.”
Taking a second to think, Jimin eyed the couple across the table. Taehyung and Milo were obviously extremely aware of the couple's awkward tension and tactfully ignored them, instead giggling about some inside joke. They were a very sweet pair. My weariness about Milo had dissipated over the last few weeks, but I could understand why he and Eloise could not get along.
Lou herself had admitted to being a bit of a stuck-up teenager back in the day, and Milo was the typical small-town stoner. They constantly butt heads when they were in high school, and just drifted apart with age. Taehyung and Jimin's friendship were the only reason they were in the same circle anymore, and the two just never spoke to avoid pressing buttons.
“I want to do something together,” Jimin finally said, I smiled, trying to ignore the snarky comments Darcy was making. The arguing was starting, and I felt my neck growing hot. Did they have to do this in public? “Get dinner or something.”
“We do that all the time,” I countered, half-heartedly paying attention to him.
“Denny’s doesn’t count," He mumbled.
The waitress finally came back with a large tray of sushi in her hand. That seemed to break up the argument momentarily, but Darcy did not seem pleased to be interrupted. Stuffing a large piece of ahi sashimi in my mouth, I sparked up a conversation with Taehyung to keep myself from having another meltdown. Beside him, Milo sent me a grateful look.
The rest of the table was silent, waiting for the fight to resume. Taehyung kept smiling painfully, but I could see the panic bubbling in his eyes, and for once I saw a small crack in his otherwise well-crafted facade. 
“I didn’t mean just getting food,” Jimin finally continued when we hit a lull, and it took me a few seconds to remember what he was talking about. “I meant… going out.”
I looked at him, eyebrow raised. His cheeks were puffed with scallops and I wished we were alone. This was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of the others, especially if he was insinuating what I thought he was. I did not want to jump to conclusions, but I was sure he was asking me out on a date. Even if it made me feel jittery thinking about it, I had a difficult time finding the voice to say yes. Saying no felt just as impossible, though, and I wished he would have picked a better time to bring this up. Whatever the hell this was.
“What are you asking me?” I whispered, taking another piece of fish off my plate, sneaking a look at Taehyung and Milo.
They were too wrapped up in one another to being listening in on us. I did not even bother checking in with the other two. I knew for a fact they did not care about anybody else but themselves.
“You know,” He replied.
Dating was not off the table, and I was more than happy to indulge myself, but I was worried about crossing this invisible line I had drawn. What would people say if they found out? A coach and her trainee, and even worse, the older woman and her much younger man. I could see the headlines now and it made my palms sticky. That would not be a good look for either one of us, and I did not want our personal relationship to affect Jimin’s career.
Putting my chopsticks down, I leaned away from him. “Can we talk about this later?”
He nodded, meeting my eyes, and I was relieved to see he was not upset. I had seen him angry a few times now, and he wore it on his sleeve with pride. Jimin was not afraid of his emotions, something I found extremely attractive, and it was nice that all I could see right now was understanding. Whatever happened he would hear me out, and I had to hope he would be understanding. I just had to be sure I did not fuck anything up.
Across the table the bickering had started again. Our waitress brought out the rest of our meal, sans desert, and seemed happy we were enjoying the food. She eyed Darcy wearily and left our table in a hurry. I felt horrible for the wait staff who had come to our table. They were all getting the nastiest looks from the dark haired beauty.
“Do we really have to do this now?” Jungkook sighed, running a hand through his hair roughly. His face was red and expression tight. “In front of my friends, dude? Are you serious?”
I cleared my throat, grabbed my tea and took a long sip before sinking into the booth and praying no one could see me. Jimin’s arm dropped, and he squeezed my shoulder in comfort. I let myself melt under his touch. It always felt nice when his hands were on me, his warmth burning hot like a furnace even in below freezing temperatures. Taehyung’s eyes were bulging out of his head now, his bottom lip trembling as he tried his best to keep the conversation between the four of us light. He had stopped trying to include the other two.
“You two seem close,” He gritted, fakeness coming from him that I had never encountered before. “Glad you were able to sort that out.”
I looked over at Jimin and saw his cheeks had gone pink. So, Taehyung knew something I didn’t. It would make sense for the childhood best friend to get the scoop before the chick he’s known for two months, I had definitely vented to my friends on more than one occasion, and my curiosity was peaked.
“I'm working on it,” Jimin replied, taking a big gulp of water. “Thanks, Tae," He breathed, rolling his eyes.
I stifled a laugh. He was so cute when he was embarrassed. I made a mental note to ask Tae to explain what he meant when we had a chance to get lunch. I had a feeling the snowboarder would be more than happy to divulge that little piece of information. 
“Talking about me to your friends?” I teased, trying my best to ignore the ever-growing argument across from me. The butterflies in my stomach were a helpful distraction. “Good things, I hope.”
He cracked a smile, face and neck flushed. “The best things.”
Such a flirt.
I bit my lip and looked away. Eating was a nice way to interrupt the electricity that was enveloping us, and I gorged myself on octopus and tuna. Whatever the hell these dishes were, I had to admit the sushi here was the best I had ever had. I would never doubt a recommendation from Taehyung again.
The conversation started flowing easily after that. Jungkook and Darcy were at a stalemate and were relatively quiet on their side of the booth. With the atmosphere lightening, Milo felt good enough to start telling us his latest work stories. He was a firefighter along with all three of his brothers. His father was promoted to chief about five years ago but was coming up to his retirement. The only one of his siblings to avoid the fireman fate was his baby sister, but had still managed to find a job at the station.
"You guys must be close," I laughed in disbelief.
“It’s the family business,” He joked. "Rosie is our new EMT."
Taehyung spoke excitedly about his upcoming competitions and was really hopeful he would win enough to qualify for the Olympics this year. Milo and Jimin both reassured him multiple times while I tried my best to keep up with everything he was talking about. I had very little knowledge of snowboarding, so I was having to constantly interrupt and ask for clarification. No one seemed to mind, and eventually Jungkook joined in to talk about his upcoming hockey games.
The Red Wings were having a good year, and he was proud of his team for working as hard as they did. As a goalie, he did not do a lot of skating, but his job was one of the hardest on the team. From what I knew after watching a few games on tv with Jimin's family, Jungkook was one of the best goalies in the NHL who was highly sought after. He had been offered millions to transfer to the New York Rangers, but out of loyalty he turned them down.
“I’ll take you to a few matches if you want,” Jimin offered. “Kook can get us tickets whenever.”
I smiled, “That sounds like fun.”
“Milo and I go all of the time so we can sit together,” Taehyung interjected, his shoulders relaxed for the first time since we got here.
Darcy was quiet and stayed on her phone. Jungkook was pretending she was not here, and it helped keep the arguing from starting again. I was not sure how long the truce would last, but I hoped they could hold it together long enough for us to finish eating.
“So Y/N,” Milo mused, taking a piece of fish from Taehyung’s plate. “Have you ever thought about competing again?”
I laughed nervously, “For a time, maybe. My injuries make it hard for me to swim the way I used to so I decided to keep it as a hobby.”
It was not a complete lie, but I knew I might be able to get back into competitions if I put in the time and effort. I hated the thought of being back in the spotlight, cameras shoved in my face, only to lose and give them more to talk about. I was still recovering from the trauma they inflicted on me after the accident. My leg injuries just gave me the perfect excuse to keep my distance.
He nodded, eyebrows knitted, “I didn’t know you had medical leave. What happened?”
Jimin tensed up beside me. 
“I was in a car accident,” I replied. Talking about what happened did not bother me as much as it used to, and Milo seemed genuinely interested in the answer. “I had to get a full knee replacement on my left side, and a full hip replacement. I should have lost my leg, but the doctor on staff recognized me and brought up my profession.”
Milo whistled, giving me a sympathetic look. “Leg? You could have died.”
“Well,” I breathed, finishing off my last piece of fish. “I pulled through though, so it wasn’t all bad.” I fiddled with my shirt, pretending to smooth it down as I played it cool. "Anyway, I have nerve damage in my leg that makes me get really horrible cramps and twitching if I overwork my muscles. It sucks but coaching is really fun, so I can't complain."
Blatantly lying wasn't something I did often, but I truly hated reliving the months of physical therapy. Unable to walk or talk, I was stuck in that hospital bed for weeks and then got sent home to watch my closest friends wait on me hand-and-foot. When I wasn’t in physical therapy, I was with my SLP. When I wasn’t with her then I was in bed, crying into my pillow, and wishing I had never woken up. It was an extremely dark time in my life, one filled with chronic pain and overwhelming depression, and talking about it made me emotional. 
“Anyway,” Taehyung sent his fiancé a pointed look. “Kookie’s next home game is in two weeks.”
Happy to be out of the spotlight, I began to talk with Jimin about changing our schedule around so we could attend the game. Taehyung was excited to get me some Red Wing merchandise, and Jungkook quickly began to boast about his prowess on the ice. Darcy scoffed beside him and I felt the group tense up.
“You’re so cocky, Ian,” She taunted, eyes glued to her phone. “I heard Avalanche was doing really well this season.”
I knew from the group chat that the Red Wings and the Colorado Avalanche had a long-standing rivalry. It had started all the way back in the mid-90’s and reached its peak in 2002. While the intensity had dissipated over the years, it had recently spiked up again due to Jungkook and Jackson Wang’s ongoing feud. The only reason Darcy would bring that up would be to piss her boyfriend off. 
“Hm,” Jungkook smirked, chuckling darkly. “Who told you that?”
I held my breath, already guessing where this was going. The tension from earlier was thicker than ever as we fell silent. Darcy put her phone on the table, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and looked Jungkook in the face as she replied.
“Jackson.”
It was dead silent for a few seconds. Then, without waiting for a response, Darcy kept digging the knife in and twisting. She called him ugly, said he sucked in bed, brought up all of the ways Jackson was better than he was, and went as far as to bring up his father's affair. Jungkook could not get a word in as her silky voice dropped lower and lower, words cutting deeper and deeper, and eyes growing brighter as she watched his expression fall. I learned something tonight. Darcy enjoyed hurting Jungkook.
"Why are you doing this, dude?" Jungkook's voice was thick with emotion. "You're acting like a fucking child. It's embarrassing."
“Holy shit,” Milo groaned as their voices got louder. “Are they being forreal right now?”
“Babe,” Taehyung scolded, the forced smile still plastered on his face. “Language.”
“You weren’t embarrassed when you fucked that girl” Darcy screamed and I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably. “Why should I feel bad about airing out my dirty laundry? Everyone here knows how much of a whore I am anyway, isn’t that right, Ian?”
“Keep your voice down,” Jungkook hissed, eyes glassy. “You’re causing a scene.”
Taehyung and Milo looked as mortified as I felt, both of them staring at Darcy in horror. The entire restaurant had gone silent. Eyes were glued to our table as they argued. She shouted about him getting his dick sucked in their bed, and Jungkook was just angry she was acting like this in public. It was Jimin’s birthday all over again only this time they knew people were watching and did not care. Taehyung’s smile was finally gone and replaced by trembling lips and fidgeting hands.
“Take that shit outside,” Jimin cut in, voice cold and hard. Darcy glared daggers in our direction. “You’re going to get us kicked out.”
Darcy opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by the waitress coming back and demanding our party leave. Taehyung began to apologize profusely while Darcy stormed out of the restaurant, bumping into numerous people roughly without looking back. Jungkook was hot on her heels, breathing heavily, and eyes glossed over with unshed tears. She shouted that Jackson was outside and for Jungkook to go fuck himself. Jungkook didn’t reply but I knew he was not expecting the other man to be here. I sure the fuck wasn't.
An arm wrapped around my shoulders, “Hey, calm down. Breathe.”
I had not realized I had been holding my breath. Turning my head, I was taken aback by how close Jimin was. Our noses brushed together, his breath hot against my cheek, and I jerked away, heart racing. The butterflies were swarming now, and a shiver went down my spine. His arm dropped and I immediately missed its warmth. Flustered, I scooted out of the booth and kept my head hung low. I was so embarrassed, and I could hear Taehyung’s voice starting to wobble as he handed over some cash to the waitress for the trouble. No one was going home happy tonight. 
“I’m so fucking pissed off,” Jimin grunted, keeping in step with me. Milo was attempting to get a now hysterical Taehyung calmed as they followed behind us. “I don’t know why Tae invites the two of them anywhere.”
I shook my head, “It’s not his fault. She needs to get some self-control, though. That was so rude and uncalled for, and for what?"
“They both owe him a fucking apology,” He sighed harshly.
The guests of honor were already in a very heated screaming match when we finally made it outside. Whatever had been brewing inside had clearly reached its peak, and neither one of them was willing to back down. Jimin’s arm was back around my shoulders as he tried his best to shelter me from the strong winds that were kicking up. Looking at Darcy and Jungkook all I could see were my parents and it caused me great discomfort. Maybe I should try to call my dad again and make sure he was alright? He rarely answered but at least it would cut some of the edge off of my anxiety.
“Why are you acting like this?” Jungkook shouted, pulling at his hair. “What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?”
“You!” Darcy shrieked. “You! You! YOU! You’re the problem. This is all your fault!”
Jungkook called her a crazy bitch and Darcy slapped him across the face before stomping off. A sleek red convertible was waiting for her on the curb, a well-groomed man behind the steering wheel. He smiled and waved at Jungkook before speeding off, Darcy already attaching her lips to his neck and not sparing any of us a second glance.
“What the fuck!” Taehyung shouted, sobbing and clinging to Milo. 
I was surprised he was able to hold himself back for that long. He seemed hellbent on strangling Jungkook as soon as he was able. I stepped to the side watching a man I had never seen upset shove Jungkook backwards. Any resemblance of a smile was gone now, replaced with a snot-nosed, red eyed man with bared teeth. Jungkook stumbled, barely keeping his footing before shoving the other man back. Milo was quick to defend his fiancé, pushing Jungkook so hard he stumbled, fell on his ass, and cried out in pain. 
Jimin’s arm gripped me tighter as he stared at the scene unfold in silence. His clenched jaw, however, told me how angry he was. I briefly wondered what he would be doing if he was not so focused on keeping me warm.
“That was so fucked up,” Taehyung cried, wiping his face roughly. “I told you both to keep that shit at home or don’t come!”
“She started it! It’s not my fault-”
“Dude,” Milo shook his head, wrapping his arms around Taehyung. “It doesn’t fucking matter. That’s your girl.”
As the three of them argued, I tried to decipher the look on Jimin’s face. He was angry, that was very apparent, and I felt my own anger finally start to rise. He had been dealing with so much shit and on his first night out in ages this happens? It was unfair and ridiculous, my frustration over the entire situation making me want to go over and push Jungkook around, too. However, I knew that was not the way to handle this. Truth was, he was not the only person to blame for how badly the night had ended. Darcy was the main instigator.
“Are you okay?” I asked Jimin, stepping away from his tight embrace. His arm was still around my shoulders with no sign of moving. “I’m sorry everything got so shitty.”
He nodded, face softening when he looked at me. “Just worried about Taehyung. He was really excited about tonight.”
The yelling was finally starting to calm down and I was happy that they were talking things out. I did not think I could handle the screaming for any longer. I had been a bundle of nerves since I left my house, and my fingers trembled at my sides. I could hear my mother’s voice echoing in my head, though I was positive it was distorted after so many years. Sometimes when her and dad fought, she would find me hiding in my closet and pull me out, hands leaving my skin tender from the harsh grip she had on my arms, before telling me to clean up the broken dishes from off the floor.
“Come here you little shit!”
She hated me; hated being a mother. I could remember how much I wished she would hold me like the other kids' moms held them but was too afraid to ask. One time I drew a picture of her at school and she never even looked at it. Instead, she smoked her cigarettes at the dinner table and watched Law and Order. If I really thought about it, she threw the drawing away. It was too dirty. Just like I was too dirty.
Mom had germaphobia and considered me one of the dirtiest things she had ever seen. I was not allowed in their bedroom because of it. Dad went along with it like he did everything else. When he wasn’t drinking, he was sleeping or in the garage. I hoped he was doing okay. Danielle seemed to be just as controlling as mom had been.
“Where’d you go?”
I startled, whipping around to find Jimin staring at me. His expression was gentle and calm, and I was suddenly aware of the harsh chill nipping at my wet cheeks. I had not noticed I was starting to cry. Strange. It had been a long time since those memories had been brought up.
“Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing my arm. “You looked lost.”
I nodded, quickly reaching up to pat the tears away. It was a good thing my mascara was smudge proof or else I might look even more pathetic. I am 31 now and it felt stupid to cry over things so far in the past. Things I had not had to deal with in well over 20 years. Dr.Wolfe would disagree with me, but she wasn't here.
“Yeah,” I nodded, voice thick. “Just zoned out for a second. Eyes must have dried out.”
It was a bad lie, but a lie he accepted. Squeezing my arm one last time, he finally moved away to give me a bit of breathing room. That was another thing that I always appreciated about the guy. He never overstayed his welcome, even if he wanted to. Taking a second to compose myself, I mindlessly fixed my hair and adjusted my clothes. Nervous habit.
“I think everyone’s heading home for the night,” Jimin said, nodding his head toward the other three men. “They seem cool. You ready to leave?”
I shrugged, “If you are.”
He nodded and walked over to the ground. I gave myself another moment to gather my thoughts. The worst of it was over and I doubted those memories would make themselves known again. With the screaming over it would not take long for my head to get itself straightened out. I might ask Jimin to drive us back, though. I was exhausted, and frankly, I did not think we would be safe if I was behind the wheel. Nothing worse than an anxious driver.
Jungkook was ashamed of their behavior tonight, and when I joined the others, he was quick to throw a million apologies in my direction. I accepted them all easily but knew it would take me a few days to fully forgive him. Tonight was a lot. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung privately and ask him not to invite the couple out with us. If I never had to see Darcy again it would make my stay that much easier.
“I think we’re going to go home,” Milo said once Jungkook walked away. He was planning on calling an Uber so Tae could have a bit of space. “My little flower is burned out for the night.”
I smiled sadly, “Are you sure? We can always try something else.”
Taehyung’s head snapped in my direction and I wanted to scoop him up in my arms. His face was puffy from crying and eyes still misty. He was quick to nod his head and reached out to take hold of my hands.
“You still want to hang out with me?” He whimpered.
I had only said it to cheer him up not thinking that he would actually go for the idea. I had never seen him so distraught before and Milo seemed convinced that he was over having fun. Stealing a look at the blonde, he gave me a grateful smile but otherwise kept a watchful eye on Taehyung.
“Of course I do,” I finally replied, squeezing his large hands. “Tonight wasn’t your fault.”
His lower lip started to wobble again and next thing I knew I was in a very tight, warm hug. Taehyung cried into the crook of my neck. He was worried I would not like him anymore because of the fight. I awkwardly hugged him back, hoping my calm reassurances would soothe him. We really needed to get from outside the front of this restaurant before they called the cops. 
“It’s alright,” I said, trying to gently remove his arms from my waist. “We’re still friends, I promise.”
After another minute of crying, Taehyung was back in Milo’s arms. His face was red, and his nose was running, but the sobs had stopped. Jimin placed a hand on my lower back and started to bounce a few ideas off of Milo. It was late, but from the sound of things, our get together was not over. I could not say for certain if this was a good thing or not, I did need to have that talk with Jimin. If we were out too late there was no way for me to promise I would not pass out in the car.
“Uh,” Jimin thought for a second. “If we’re still hungry there’s Pie Sci and Woodbridge is right down the street. There's also that park a few blocks away."
I shrugged, “Whatever’s the best?” Looking at Taehyung, I made sure that he was feeling well enough to hang out. “I won’t be upset if you want to go home. It was a rough night for all of us.”
He sniffled and nodded. “I’m just really tired.”
Jimin and I said our goodbyes and I promised the blue haired boy I would call him in the morning to set up another meet up. He called it a group date, something neither Jimin nor I disagreed with, but it did make me feel queasy. Depending on how our conversation goes, we may never spend time together outside of training. I felt like I was going to vomit.
“Let me drive?” Jimin murmured as we parted ways with the couple. 
I nodded, digging in my purse to find them. “Mind reader, I swear. Get out of my head, kid.”
He snickered, “Who says you weren’t in mine, granny”
The queasiness dissipated and I felt like I could breathe a little bit easier now. Being alone with Jimin had never felt this nerve wracking before, not even the first time we met, and it was hard to explain all of the thoughts and feelings going through my head. We were finally having the talk, but I had never imagined it going this way. Handing him the keys, I elbowed him in the ribs.
“Whoops,” I mocked. “You know me and my bad eyesight, kiddo.”
“Watch it,” He hissed, rubbing the spot. “Don’t want you breaking anything. You know you have frail bones.”
I laughed, “Don’t make me give you a knuckle sandwich, punk.”
Sliding into the passenger seat felt less daunting after the light hearted exchange. Still, my blood was pumping as Jimin clicked his seatbelt in place. I had no idea when the conversation would shift into murkier waters, but I needed to start thinking about what to say to him. 
Denying my feelings would only make things worse, and I did not think the younger man would believe me. In fact, he would be offended that I thought he was dumb enough to get bamboozled in the first place. Lying did not seem like the right call anyway. My feelings were not something to feel ashamed about, but they were very frightening. 
“When is later?”
I gasped, startled out of my thoughts. We had been driving for over ten minutes already. Time seemed to slip by when I was lost in my own head. Jimin apologized for scaring me but repeated the question once I reassured him that I was fine.
“Now,” I mumbled. “I guess later is now.”
Turning on the blinker, Jimin switched lanes smoothly. He was probably the best driver that I knew and always made sure to keep my little quirks in mind during our rides. He had even gotten used to leaving the radio off when I was around, something that I appreciated more than words could ever say. Recognizing that I was stalling, I cleared my throat and tried my best to get my jumbled thoughts across.
“As much as I would like to go on that date,” I started, voice weak, “I’m just a bit concerned with how that might affect our ability to work together.”
There we go, I thought to myself mentally patting myself on the back. That was not as hard as I thought it would be. Leaving out a few details would not hurt anybody, and it was the main cause of concern for me. My age was definitely up there, but I doubted Jimin would understand my perspective. To him I was just older, but to the rest of the world I was this cougar on the prowl for young men to help me relive my glory days. Even my own friends thought it was funny to make fun of the age gap.
“Is it only because of that?” Jimin pressed, his voice telling me that he was still reacting positively to whatever was coming out of my mouth. I was refusing to look at him, fearful that he would see through me. “Or is there something else bothering you?”
“W-w-well-” I stammered, “There is the media frenzy to think about. Sejin is already dealing with the press and your ‘out of character’ seclusion this season. Then there’s the age gap. I just-” I struggled to find the right words. Having let my insecurity slip out, I lost my flow and scrambled to get back on track. “Look, I haven’t done this whole dating thing in a really long time, and I don’t want that to get in the way of being a good coach. Ozzie put me in charge of you, and my reputation is on the line.”
I could hear my heart beating in my ears. Mouth dry and palms sweaty, I forced myself to look out of the window as I spoke. Anxiety had been something I dealt with for as long as I could remember, and it only got worse the older I got. My hands and fingers trembled in my lap as I tried to steady my breathing. 
In all of the dreams I had about Jimin, and there had been quite a few at this point, this moment had never felt so real and raw. We were always in these picture perfect pieces of heaven, sunshine beaming down on us, and the words I desperately wanted to say fell from my lips with ease. It was simple and sweet, and yet profound and beautiful. I could wax poetics and put myself thoughts together so eloquently he had no choice but to say yes to me. 
Reality was different. Here I was stumbling over my sentences and stuttering my way through words. Instead of taking his hand with mine, I was fidgeting with shaking fingers and desperately hoping he could not see just how uncomfortable I was. I knew he did. He always noticed. My heart was racing so fast I was afraid it would burst. Had he turned the heart up? It was boiling.
“I just want to know how you feel about me.”
“Hm?” I squeaked, unable to form any real words. My mouth was too dry. 
“I’ve thought about all of the same shit,” Jimin continued, voice as smooth and calming as ever. “I don’t care about any of that. All I want to know is how you feel about me.”
“You know,” I replied, wheezing. Talking felt impossible. “You know.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
Taking in a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes shut and began the mental countdown. My therapist taught me the technique years ago and I always found it to be helpful. I did this a few times until I felt calm enough to open my eyes. 
“Are you alright?” Jimin asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded, finally feeling my heart rate slowing. “A little anxious.”
“Don’t be,” He placed a hand on my knee. “It’s just me.”
And he was right. It was just Jimin and I in my car, but that was also the reason I felt so suffocated. There was nowhere to run or hide in here, and if things went south I was stuck with him for half an hour. Trying not to let those pessimistic thoughts send me back into a panic, I began to mentally point out things in my car.
Air freshener. It's green. It smells like pine and lemons. I want a new scent. Jimin likes to buy this coconut and mango one that smells like candy. I will buy one like his. I love the smell.
I let out a heavy breath. Everything was fine. He was not upset. He just wanted to know how I felt about him. Nothing more nothing less. My heart was settling, and my fingers were no longer shaking.
“I like you,” I choked out, placing my hand over his. “But you already knew that.”
He gently laughed, flipping his hand up to intertwine our fingers. 
“Yeah, you’re a terrible actress.”
I groaned, leaning my head against the window. As much as I tried kidding myself, there was absolutely no way he did not see the way I looked at him. I always knew when his flirting took on a more serious edge, like when he called me beautiful after seeing the scar on my leg for the first time, so it should not have been surprising that he picked up on a thing or two. Still, it did not make it any less embarrassing.
“How long have you known?” I asked, peeking at him through my lashes.
“I mean, I had a feeling when you first got to town, but I wasn’t completely sure until that first training day.”
He laughed at my embarrassed groan, holding my hand tighter. I knew I wasn't subtle enough. Poker face champion, my ass.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” He cooed. “You’ve been my dream girl since I was, like, 15.”
“That's not helping the age gap thing,” I tittered as I played with his fingers. Then, because I could not help myself. “Dream girl, huh?”
Picking up on the teasing tone in my voice, Jimin chortled. 
“Okay, big head. Calm down.”
“Big head?” I guffawed, pulling my hand out of his grasp. “Who are you calling big head, shortstop?”
“You, big head,” Taking back my hand, Jimin pinned it down and kept a tight grip. “No take backs.”
I always loved it when Jimin was in a good mood. He was so playful and full of energy, and all signs of those dark days were in the deepest parts of his mind. It was impossible to keep myself from playing along which only served to egg him on.
“You never said yes or no.”
“Yes or no to what?” I questioned. 
Jimin started rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
“To that date.”
Saying yes felt wrong, but saying no felt impossible. No matter what I said someone would be upset, and I had to decide who that would be: Jimin or America? I turned my own hand around this time and put my fingers through his. They fit together awkwardly, his hands just a bit too large, but I still found it perfect all the same.
“Do you have any ideas?”
His shiteating grin was contagious and a burst of butterflies began to flutter in my stomach. Hands clasped, Jimin started to list off all of the places we could go, but I was not fully listening. I had a date with this guy. I was going on a date with my trainee. 
“What do you think?”
I blinked rapidly, hoping he could not tell that I had zoned out. 
“You pick,” I breathed. “Surprise me.”
The rest of the drive back home was spent making small talk and discussing food preferences. Jimin was a dinner and a movie kind of guy, while I would rather do some sort of activity. What type of conversation could we have in a theater? Jimin seemed excited to plan out a fun night and I was just happy he was this into me. The feeling was most definitely mutual.
“Do you mind if I go to my house tonight? Mom needs some space and I know my dad is tired of having me breathing down their necks.”
I had yet to go over to his house. The days that we drove together were when he spent the evening with his parents. When Na-yeon and I talked about it, she was more upfront about her health situation than the men of the house. James spent most of his time taking care of his wife and their son enjoyed giving him a break every now and then. James would go on a fishing trip with his friends while Jimin stayed back to keep an eye on his mother. 
“Is it closer to town?” I asked, nibbling on my lower lip. 
I had yet to drive through downtown Ann Arbor. The Park house, and by proxy the Anderson’s, was a thirty minute drive from the bustling city. Nestled in the smaller town of Saline going towards Manchester, I had rarely had to leave the small town. This trip to Detroit was the farthest I had gone since arriving in Michigan, but I had a feeling the traffic in downtown Ann Arbor would be a bit much for me to drive through alone.
“Yeah,” I felt even more nervous by his nonchalant tone. “I used to live downtown, but I got tired of the noise. I bought my house in Eberwhite last summer, so there’s a little less foot traffic.”
“How’s the drive back to Saline?” Even I could hear the hesitation in my voice.
“Less than twenty,” Rubbing the back of my hand, his voice took on a sweeter tone. “We don’t have to. My truck’s at my parent’s place anyway.”
“Maybe some other time?” I forced myself to laugh, hoping to make the awkward tension leave. “Preferably when it’s not dark outside.”
I relaxed into my seat once I started seeing familiar landmarks. Saline was a very small town with a little over 2,000 residents, but downtown still had a way of attracting a relatively large crowd. Stoney Creek Brewery was packed and Jimin pointed out Sam’s car as we pass by. 
“Looks like he came out with Otis and Skye,” He murmured.
Otis was another personal trainer at the gym, and Skye was responsible for marketing. They had been going out for a while now and made plan to move to Ann Arbor once Otis graduated from school. He was getting his masters in movement science at the University of Michigan. They had planned on moving out there when he graduated last year, but neither of them could find a job that could pay their bills. Otis was hoping the master’s would give him a competitive edge while Skye saved up enough money to start her own advertising firm.
“Think Gigi is with them?” I wondered.
“Probably not. She’s busy studying for an exam. I saw that she requested time off tomorrow and the day after, so I don’t think she has the time to go out for drinks.”
Giselle was getting her bachelor’s in dental hygiene at UM, and everytime I spoke to her she was swamped with work. I had no idea she needed to request time off, though. Must be an intense program.
“Did you ever go to college?” I asked Jimin. 
He nodded, “I got my bachelor’s in psychology.”
Well, I had not been expecting that. 
“Really?”
“Yeah, but I never went back to get my master’s,” We turned onto the long road that led to his parent’s house. “I might after the Olympics.”
It was interesting to hear about his goals post-swimming. I never had those. My entire life was going to be swimming, and then, once I could no longer compete, I was opening my own swim school. After a couple of years of coaching under my belt, the plan was to start training professional athletes until I could join the Olympic coaching team. The accident was a very traumatic and eye-opening experience for me, so most of those plans ended up getting changed and modified over the years.
“What about you?” Jimin asked, pulling up to the curb.
“I went through an accelerated program at UCCS. Just graduated with my Masters in Athletic Training back in April.”
Neither one of us seemed to be ready to break the bubble we created. Even if we were just talking about school, it felt too intimate to leave. Holding hands in my car was new and I was worried if I opened the car door all of this would turn out to be a dream. The date, the confession; all of it. 
“I should get going,” Jimin sighed, still not moving his hand from mine. “It’s late and I have to drive home.”
I was the first one to move away. He was right. It was almost midnight and I had a really difficult time tonight. All of that yelling really took a toll on me. Jimin did not move until he heard the click of my seatbelt unfastening. 
“See you tomorrow?” He asked when I rounded the car. Getting out of the car, he held the door open as I slid inside. “I know we were out later than we thought we’d be.”
I nodded, “We can have a late morning. 8:30 instead of 6.”
“Sounds good. See you then.”
He closed my car door and jogged to his truck. It was parked in the driveway today. I pressed the button to roll my window down. 
“Drive safe!” I called out.
Looking over his shoulder, Jimin grinned and threw a hand up. I watched him climb into Fiona and tried to keep myself from worrying too much. It was so dark outside and he could be exhausted behind the wheel. Who knows what could happen to him.
He caught me staring and waved at me again. I returned it with a small smile. The truck stopped for a second and his phone was his hand. My cell phone vibrated in the cupholder.
Jimin: I’ll be okay
Jimin: Text you when I get home, k?
Looking back at the truck, I found him already looking at me. I nodded my response. He smiled at me again, waved, before finally backing out of the driveway. I did not move until I could no longer see his truck in my rearview. My phone buzzed one more time.
Jimin: At the stop sign on Woodland and Ann Arbor-Saline
Jimin: Go home. I’m here. I’m fine.
I hesitated texting him back when I knew he was driving, but decided that I would just have to trust he would not open it until it was safe.
Me: Get out of my head, kid
Finally putting my car in drive, I threw my phone back in its spot and made the ten minute drive down the road to the Anderson house. All of the lights were off when I pulled up and I was as quiet as a mouse walking to the backyard. 
I was beyond tired but still needed to get my nighttime routine done. Stripping out of my clothes, I turned on the shower and took off my makeup. Tonight wasn’t a wash night, so I was not in the shower for long. I heard my phone vibrating as I put on lotion and I quickly threw on a night shirt and went to my bedroom.
Jimin: Who says you aren’t in mine, meemaw
Jimin: I’m home now so you can get some sleep
Jimin: Night, geezer
I snorted. That was a new one. Crawling into bed, I got comfortable under my blankets and thought about a good comeback.
Me: Thank you
Me: Geezer? That’s such an geriatric thing to say, you whippersnapper
Jimin: LOL night 🫰🏼
Me: Night 🌜
I quick sent Taehyung a text to make sure he and Milo go home safely before putting my phone on the charger. Jungkook sent a text to our group chat an hour ago to let us know he was in his apartment back in Detroit. He was in Ann Arbor so often since Darcy lived out here, but he had bought a multi-million dollar home in Corktown when was first signed to the Red Wings in 2019. Milo was the one to reply to my text, signing his name at the bottom, since Taehyung passed out in the car on their way back home.
I took my medications and started up a game of solitaire while I waited for them to kick in. My psychologist had sent me to Michigan with a three month supply. I was planning my first trip back next week so I could see the boys in time for their first big competition of the season. While I was in town, I would pick up another three month supply. We were making the arrangements work as best as we could, and I was lucky I had a large group of people willing to support me during this transition.
Finally I felt the sleeping pills kicking in and I went to my white noise app. I hated falling asleep in silence and Emery had suggested the app while we were in a session. I paid for a yearly subscription and never regretted the fifty bucks. It had been a huge help in lulling me to bed.
Lights out and blankets wrapped snugly around my body, I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened. Jimin liked me back, asked me on a date, and told all of his friends about his infatuation with me before I even realized something else was going on. I was his dream girl. That put a lazy smile on my face. Then, I could no longer think about anything and was plunged into a dreamless sleep.
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Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae @adventures-in-bookland
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yooglefics · 4 months ago
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The casual type: 04 . The plans change
Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 4,832 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ???. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary:  ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 04 ) • The night wasn't supposed to go like this, but there's nothing to complain about. Well, maybe a little. Warnings under read more.
Warnings ( for this ep ): The squad being annoying ( I <3 them ). Pet names ( princess , baby , doll ). Flirting. Making out. Grinding. Fingering. ( wash your hands, folks ). Yoongi's hands should be a warning. 1,1714 words of just smut and I literally don’t know how that happened lol. Author's note: The plans for this chapter also changed a lot because I only had like three notes for it lmao. Nevertheless, I'm excited to share it with all of you, thank you for sticking around and I hope you like this ep. Remember to leave a comment, send an ask, with your thoughts and also maybe reblog, and what not. As always, thank you for reading! <3
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“No, the thing is, she doesn't want to share space. That's why,” Jimin accuses you from his position on the couch. Not being good at sharing himself since his whole body is on it.
“That's not true! I just don't want to be around sweaty boys.” 
“As if you don't sweat,” Jungkook argues.
“I don't.”
“She doesn't, she is a princess,” Is Yoongi's turn to pick on you. He called you that before at the club but this time surprises you since is in front of your friends and your relationship with each other has changed. And actually, you're supposed to be keeping that a secret from them.
“I love how she didn't argue that one,” says Jimin, chuckling.
“Because I am, duh.” You do an exaggerated flip of your ponytail while turning around, carrying another box of kitchenware to put away.
The guys finally decided to rent a house all together, and to make up for the fact that you refused to leave your dorm and follow them, you offered to help organize and decorate because, at the end of everything, you'd probably be spending a lot of time here. 
“You should have moved in with us,” You hear Hobi tell Yoongi after bringing more boxes inside the house. “Did you find a place?” 
“Yes, one of my classmates and his roommates were looking for someone. Is not too far away from here, actually.”
“That's cool. You guys can come over whenever.”
“You should come to the party tonight!” Taehyung says excitedly.
“Tonight?!” You walk out of the kitchen, a couple of glasses in your hands. “You're not even done downloading the truck. Jimin is not even moving!”
“I withdraw my offer for you to move in with us,” says your friend. “She is more like an evil step-sister,” he murmurs to Yoongi and he laughs along with everyone else.
“I hate you all.” 
Storming back into the kitchen, you decide to focus on putting everything away. Not a single thing that can be broken in sight of future drunk guests, that's why you are struggling to put mugs on cupboards you can barely reach.
“Do you need help, princess?” 
The nickname makes you almost drop Tae's last birthday present, and Yoongi is right there to catch you both. “Careful,” he says.
“Is your fault.”
“Did I scare you?” he chuckles, “Sorry.”
“You keep scaring me when you call me that,” you whisper.
“What? You don't like it?” Confused look on his face when he turns to you after putting the mug in place.
“I–why do you call me that?”
“Because sometimes you get kinda grumpy and you're cute, like a princess.”
It makes you smile, and it matches the one on his face.
“I'm going to ignore the fact that you called me grumpy,” you pretend to be upset about it, scrunching up your lips in fake dislike.
“Yeah, focus on the fact that you're cute.” you blush and he uses the excuse of grabbing another mug to get closer, making it so if you lean in a little you could steal a peck. 
But you still aren't sure about how the whole friends with benefits thing works. Nor confident enough to make a decision before Jungkook announces through the house: “the truck is empty, told you we could do it!”
And soon enough Yoongi is out of the room, helping move boxes here and there, and after everything that doesn't belong in the living room is out of it, he finally sits with you and Jimin on the sofa, you in the middle of the two.
“Are you really having a party today?” Yoongi asks.
“Of course! We have to baptize the place.”
“That sounds gross.” You say, noise scrunched.
“You're gross. That's not very princess-y of you,” says Jimin and Yoongi laughs.
“I feel gross, I'm going home to change. Do you want me to give you a ride to the dorms?”
“Yes, please!” 
You have thought about going alone, but after your failed kiss in the kitchen you wanted at least some time alone, and a car drive should be just enough. 
Or perhaps not. 
Because Yoongi drops you at your dorm and goes home to change, refusing to get close to you when he is all sweaty. 
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You hit send with one hand and with the other make sure your door is open before sitting once again on the bed, grabbing your mirror and eyeliner to continue your routine.
“Hello?” He knocks a few times and you tell him to come in, all concentration on the task at hand. And that gives him time to look around a little, taking in your space. 
Is a large room, just looking a bit cramped thanks to the big pieces of furniture ( two beds, two dressers, and two desks ) but your method of putting everything against the walls definitely helps. That, and the fact that your roommate hasn't moved in yet. “Now I understand why you didn't want to move in with them. You have a room all for yourself?”
You laugh, “Their office was gonna be my room, actually. And no, this year I'm supposed to share it.”
“You didn't last year?”
“At the beginning I did. But then she paired with someone else.” You shrug, not sure about the details since you've only known her for a couple of weeks. “But it's not as cool as everyone thinks, sometimes it gets lonely, mostly on exam weeks when everyone is busy studying.”
“Well, you can invite me anytime.” He only partially jokes.
“Deal. But you've to bring snacks.” 
“Deal.”
Yoongi sits on your bed while waiting, scrolling on his phone and every now and then looking up to watch you apply the rest of your makeup, then perfume and pick a jacket, until you are standing in front of him with a smile as you announce you're ready. 
“That was faster than I thought,” he says, standing up. “Your eyes do look cute with the sparkle eyeshadow. Bogum was right.” 
“Oh, don't remember me that. I think that's the last time he is going to talk to me,” a sigh follows the exaggeration. 
“If he is really interested he is going to try again.”
“And if he is not?”
“Then he's not worth it.” The confidence in his voice is as contagious as his smile, and you match it.
For a second you wonder if it should be weird to talk about this with the guy you made out with just yesterday. If this is just normal encouragement because you are becoming friends or do all friends with benefits have this type of conversation?. Either way, you are glad to have someone to talk to about your little crush, and so, decide to not give it too much thought if Yoongi doesn't seem to do it either.
When he first asked you about it on Wednesday it was out of curiosity and you returned the phrase about the cat's tragic ending, receiving a “Well, I guess we are confidants now, kitten.”
You gave him a rundown of the situation and confessed about having a little bit of hope for his now teammate to invite you out again. He wished you the best and told you to let him know if something does happen because, according to him, Bo doesn't seem like the guy to be into sharing, and so, Yoongi doesn't want to be in the way.
“Maybe you should talk to him tonight. He is going, isn't he?”
“Uh, not sure. I asked Kook but I don't think he saw my text.” you turn to grab your phone and check.
But before you can open the app, Yoongi grabs your shoulders and guides you out the door, “Or we can just drive there and see.” 
You're surprised to see the motorcycle in the parking lot, thinking it had been just a thing of last week since you haven't seen him use it since then. You even wondered if it was his in the first place.
“What? Are you scared now?” He teases when you don't take the helmet he is holding in your direction. Just standing there without any movement. “You know I'm a good driver.”
“Yeah, I just… didn't expect it.”
He laughs at your genuine shock before explaining, “I always take it to parties because it's easier to find parking and get out of there whenever I want to.” 
“And I'm sure girls love it, too.”
“That's a plus,” He nods with a smirk, “but don't worry, baby, I’m not making you share tonight.”
“Shut up,” with your nose scrunched for good measure, you finally take the helmet from him. But instead of grabbing his own and getting ready, he gets closer to you, brushing your fingers with his when you're going to secure it and doing it for you instead.
“You tell me that a lot, you know.”
“You talk too much,” you defend, “it's your own fault.”
“Or… you just want to kiss me.”
Glad your smile is hidden by the helmet,  you push him a bit as you answer, "Actually, shut up.”
He laughs, and then goes on to put on and secure his helmet before claiming on the motorcycle and waiting for you. 
The shock about the vehicle wasn't only pure confusion, it was also the realization that your outfit was probably not the best choice. The fabric of your skirt was flowier than the one you used last time, and you aren't sure it would do well at a fast speed.
“Don't go too fast,” you ask him, hands on his shoulders to help you get on and sit behind him.
“I don't get that a lot,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes still fussing with your clothes. “You ready?” he waits for your signal before revving up the engine. 
He drives faster than last time. Or maybe you're just sober and more scared about it all. Your legs tighten on his sides, and your arms around his middle, all the while telling yourself is only to protect the wind from stealing your dignity. When he stops, you have to open your eyes to realize it is because of a red light and your body relaxes. 
Left hand leaves the throttle and goes to your tight, closer to your knee, the coldness of his fingers makes you jump and you feel him chuckle before caressing your skin. “You okay?” he asks loud enough to be heard through the street noises and your covered ears. You nod between his shoulder blades, even if your heart is racing. 
Remembering you had felt your phone ringing in your jacket pocket indicating a few texts, you figure there's enough time to check them before the light changes.
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You show Yoongi and he gives you a thumbs down, making you laugh. Oh, well. Maybe it just wasn't made to be.
Thinking he would just drive you back to your dorm, you're surprised when he doesn't take the next turn back — is he driving to another party?
The answer comes only when he takes a turn before entering the highway. Right to the top of The Hill. Every teenager destination to run away from their problems. Every horny couple with a low budget looking for privacy, which yes, in itself destroys that very purpose. But, this is not a place to think about too much, even if there are also people who come here to think, like Yoongi.
He turns the engine off, puts down the stand, and takes off his helmet. You follow behind, curious.
“I figured we should make something out of being outside right now, the sun is about to set.” He looks at his watch and then to the front, at the view. From here you can see the city from above, at least a big part of it. Including the mountains and skylines.
“C’mon,” he pats your tight twice, asking you to get down. Complying, you use his shoulders for support again and get closer to the barricade at the edge. 
“C'mon,” you throw back to him when he doesn't follow you.
“I can see it from here.”
You frown at him, “really?” He nods. Your head tilts slightly to the side, “reeeally?” 
“Let a guy be.”
He looks… weird. 
And, suddenly, it clicks.
“I can't believe it.” You walk back to him, “Are you afraid of heights?!” 
“Don't make fun of me.” 
“I'm not!” But in fact you're fighting back a smile, “is just… unexpected.”
“Yeah. Unlike the death from falling from here to who knows where.” He reasons and you can't really argue with that.
But you can argue with him moving closer.
Grabbing his hand and pulling, amazed when you manage a few steps without problem, but soon he puts strength into it. The abrupt stop of his body pulls yours back, bringing you close to his chest, making a surprise noise cross your lips and your triumphant smile is gone.
“Don't make me leave you here,” and for a second you wonder if he really would. Wonder how much you can push before he actually gets mad. “Look!”
Your eyes stop scanning his face, following the direction he is looking at and you catch the sky changing colors for the next few minutes. Blue. Orange. Pink. Purple. Dark blue, because the lights of the city start to appear avoiding the complete darkness. But from here, you can see more stars than from your room's window and everything seems kind of infinity.
“Wow…” is a bit lame and predictable, but what else is there to say?
“Yeah. Is beautiful.” He agrees, hand finally letting go of yours and moving to your shoulder, “and you didn't have to stand at the line of death to see it.”
“So dramatic.” With an eye roll you turn to him. He appears calmer, with a smile playing on his lips as he keeps looking at the sky.
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“What?” he asks.
You're in his room now, sitting on the bed Yoongi just told you he had to buy a mattress for because he used to dorm at his last university and didn't own one. You make no promises of not spilling any of your slushie on it and he laughs, tells you he will not forgive you and both of you know it’s not true. 
Going back to your room isn't a priority right now, you're having a good time talking about random things and siping your sugary drinks with a big bag of chips between the two. You were nervous about his roommates because apparently they are older and that scares you for some reason, but he reassures you they are busy with their own thing and he can drive you back before they arrive.
“Nothing.” But your eyes are still on his lips, on the color they are tinted thanks to the red drinks, “do you like it?”
“Is not bad. I prefer blueberry, though.” 
“I think this one is better,” you said that before at the store when you stopped for gas, convincing him to try it.
“Of course you think so, you love cherry things. I'd not be surprised if your favorite color is red just because of it.”
“How do you know that?” is surprising he says it with such security.
“It is?”
“No. I mean, yes,” you backtrack, “but how do you know that I love cherry things? Did the matchmakers tell you that?”
“Mai and Hobi?
You nod, too curious of his answer you miss the way his eyes are following your lips as they wrap around the straw.
“No. But you always have cherry candy with you. You gave us cherry lollipops on tuesday. I asked you for gum the other day and you gave me cherry. Jungkook gets you cherry cola specifically, from the vending machine at our building. And,” he pauses his list, the corner of his lip curving up, “like four out of the five times we've kissed, you either test or smell like cherry. Or both.”
“Well,” you answer after a couple seconds of silence, “I'm conscious now.”
He laughs, and you drink again.
“Don't be. Is like… your touch.”
“Ew,” noise scrunched up, “I don't know if I want that. Am I going to be known as the cherry girl?”
Again he laughs, your horrified expression making it impossible not to. 
“Do I smell like it right now?” Bringing your arm to your nose, you try smelling your clothes. Then your hair. 
“Stop,” he asks, reaching to put strains of hair back into place. “You smell good. Forget I said anything.”
“No, I can't. Now it’s in my head.” You try smelling your other arm, almost spilling your drink.
“Okay,” he catches it in time, tilting your hand back completely upright, “that way you really are going to taste like cherry and leave a trace behind.” 
“Wait. Do I really taste like it? When you kiss me, does it bother you?” 
“Why are you freaking out about this?” And seeing your seriousness, he bites back his chuckles.
“Just answer the question.”
“Okay, okay. Let's see,” and before you can process it, his lips are on yours, and he hums. “Can’t tell.” And he goes in again, free hand to the back of your head to bring you forward, to really capture your lips with his.
Running his tongue over your bottom lip sends shivers through your body since it’s warmer, softer. And a small moan escapes your lips, separating them and letting his tongue in. 
You're scared to move. Not because of him. But because you have been wanting to kiss him since sitting down — heck, since this morning — but didn't know how. All this feels so complicated in your head, with rules you have to follow and what not, but in practice, he makes it look so much easier. 
Of course you can't pull him for a kiss in your friends’ house, that is too risky. But when he kisses you like this, it gives you confidence to at least ask him to do it whenever you're alone and feel like it.
Somehow your hand is on his neck, fingers running through the hair at his nape as your mouths keep their rhythm going. And you decide to take the risk, kneeling on the bed and moving closer to him. You separate for a second only to make sure you're not making a mess and he smiles at you, “give me that.” Sipping one last time at the slushie, you give it to him to be secured and abandoned on his nightstand, bag of chips moves next and now his hands are free to pull you into his lap by your waist.
“You haven't answered the question,” you tell him, hands cupping his face, “Or you just wanted to kiss me?”
“Stop stealing my lines.”
“Is that a no?” You pretend to pull back and his hold tightness.
“You want me to say it?” a nod is your answer, and is a bit surprising when he obeys. “Yes. I wanted to kiss you,” and he does, making his point clear. “And also yes, you test like cherry sometimes,” another peck, “is sweeter now, but not so much like when is from your candies,” his voice gets lower each time, practically a whisper, “and your lips look amazing tinted red, I want to kiss you every time.”
And you make it happen. Kissing him softer this time, setting your own peace. Yoongi goes with it at first, but those thoughts he doesn't share with you are hard to keep on track when your hips grind against his. Not helping with the situation in his jeans. 
His hands hold you firmly, stopping your movements, and his lips move faster, fighting for dominance. He wants you and you know it and it gives you the confidence to move again. At first it was involuntarily, your body's own reaction to him, but then you put force into it, mostly to go against his hold. He groans into your mouth, feeling it rumble against your chest. 
Pushing his shoulders back, Yoongi finally gives in and lets go of your hips in order to help himself up with an arm behind him, other hand on your thigh. His eyes travel from there to your chest, moving as fast as his with your breathing, to your face, bottom lip between your teeth and his tongue touches his own in the same place. You just sit there, looking at each other for a few seconds until his hand moves up your leg, dragging the fabric of the skirt along. But he stops mid way, going back down. He chuckles at your reaction of puffing air as a sign of deception, “what's that?”
Prying your eyes from his hand is difficult, but you look at his face, smirk in place as he moves again, fingertips glassing over soft skin. “I should make you do it too,” he teases, “make you tell me what you think and what you want.”
The idea is both terrifying and a turn on at the same time. You have never vocally asked for anything like that, but the tone of his voice, the raspiness, it intoxicates you so much you may be willing to try.
“But I'm not mean like you, baby.” In one swift movement his hand is up your leg again, grabbing your butt and making your skirt rail up, exposing more of your thigh and you gasp as he bucks his hips upward.
“I’m not mean,” you breathe. 
“No?” Head tilts to the side, that playful smile of his should be a crime. “Are you a good girl?”
“I hate you.”
“So we are dirty talking,” he nods and you roll your eyes with a chuckle.
It hasn't been long, but you really like what you guys have. Is easy. Without drama or feelings being hurt. And, being completely honest, the way he kisses you is enough to know you make the right decision.
Do you still believe in soulmates and want to meet yours and live happily ever after like all the love stories you have consumed throughout your life? Yes. But maybe your story can also include an arc of exploring your sexuality with someone who is just a friend. Someone who gets your jokes and trusts you too. Someone who kisses you sooo good it takes your breath away without having to be scared of the future and what-ifs. 
Someone whose fingertips brush the top of your inner thighs, so close to their goal, but nothing more because he is waiting for you. Although it’s hard because of the little sounds that keep flowing out of your throat as you start moving your hips on his lap, grinding on his hardening erection.
He is kissing your neck, sucking here and there but not hard enough to leave marks, and his other hand has made its way down your t-shirt, looking for that skin to skin contact, glad both of your guys' jackets were abandoned way before at his bedroom’s entrance. 
“Tell me to stop and I'll,” Yoongi reminds against your skin and you nod, the hand under your skirt finally moving from its place and you miss the warmth it provided. But his fingers reach for the waistband of your panties and your breath hatch a little as they move south, thumb brushing over your clothed pussy. “Fuck.” 
You moan. At the touch, at his reaction to feeling you're wet. And before you can feel conscious about it, he is rubbing circles over it. “Ahh…”
“So responsive,” he groans, “Does it feel good?” 
You nod, unable to form words as he pushes gently over on your center, making your body move towards him, looking for more. And he gives it to you by sneaking his hand under your panties, ring finger sliding between your folds, a groan of his own accompanying your whimpers as he truly feels how wet you're.
“F-fuck. You feel so soft,” Yoongi points out and it makes a shiver run down your body, while he keeps rubbing expertly, cupping your pussy when even without realizing your hips start moving again, looking for more friction.
“Y-yoongi,” you call, asking for more. 
For a second you think he doesn't get it because he takes his hand out, however is only to bring his ring and middle finger to his mouth, humming around them without breaking eye contact. Brown irises over taken by desire and you could've gotten lost on that look alone, but soon his hand goes back to its place between your legs, “Breathe,” he instructs, “tell me if it hurts.”
And it does, a little. Because you're not used to it and every touch is a bit overwhelming, all the same, he is gentle, one finger pushing in slowly and not all the way before going back. Your eyes close under his gaze, inspecting your reaction as he pushes in again, letting you get used to the feeling. 
“Is it good?” his lips go back to your neck, kissing his way up to your lips. 
“S-so good,” you smile against his mouth, “you can go on.”
And he moans against yours before adding another one, two digits inside you.
The thing about Yoongi is: he is a pleaser. He likes making his partners feel good and the way your lips part as he pushes into your pussy makes him weak. He knows that if you asked him to finger you all night he would, no questions asked.
But he also knows you don't have much time. That's why you are still sitting on his lap and not laying on his bed, and why he kept your clothes on even if is now regretting it.
His eyes travel down your body, to your hand in a fist with the fabric of your clothes. “Pull it up, doll.” Yoongi requests. “Your skirt. Let me see you.” 
You do, the carmine color on your cheeks even deeper as your sight is filled with his hand movements. 
“...so hot, taking my fingers so good.” He murmurs, hand on your lower back holding you in place as he picks up the peace. Feeling how your walls tighten around him every time he pushes in and his dick requests attention at the thought of fucking you properly. If only he had time.
“Fuck, fuck, fuc-” is your new mantra as his fingers move expertly, breaking into incohesive moans when they touch the bundle of muscle that makes you see stars. 
“I got you,” he says, “f-fuck, so pretty, baby.” Yoongi's voice is so gentle and still filled with lust as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, getting you closer and closer to the end. “C’mon, let me see you cum, y/n.”
And that's all you need, hear your name so out of breath, to practically hit your orgasm on command. Head tilted back and lip between your teeth to suppress any noises, ignoring the voice of reason in your head that tells you is a bit late for that.
When you open your eyes again Yoongi's fingers are back in his mouth, sucking yourself off of them, and even if you just reached your high, you can't help the way your pussy reacts to that.
Catching you staring, he winks at you. 
And before you can decide the next move, your ringtone fills the silence, almost making you jump out of his lap. He chuckles, “Careful,” freeing you from his hands as you reach for your phone.
“Yes?” You answer, free hand fixing your clothes and putting black strains in place, trying to shake the feeling of being caught.
“Hi. Sorry about the time, my flight got canceled and then the next one took hours and—” taking the phone away from your ear, you realize that in the heat of the moment you didn't even notice it was an unknown number and not one of the guys. You're about to say they probably got the wrong number but the person keeps talking and it feels rude to just cut them off. “...but I'll have to wait until tomorrow. So apparently you're the only one with a key now and they said you were here but I knocked and well, I don't know if you were sleeping or…?” 
It takes you a second to process they do want you to talk now. “Sorry. I don't think I'm who you're looking for.”
“Are you not y/n?”
“Yes…” you turn to Yoongi, confused expression matching yours. “Who are you?”
“Oh, shit. I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?” You nod even if it can't be seen through the phone, “I'm Subin. Your new roommate.”
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A/N: AAAAAAHHHHHH pls don't call Subin a cockblocker ㅠ^ㅠ even if she would call herself that if she knew hahah. A/N 2: ALSO, I decided to try something new with the format of showing the texting, so please tell me your opinion, do you like it as screenshots or prefer it to be typed down? or is the same either way? Send a tip on ko-fi?? ( Only if you can and don't feel pressured to do it! )
♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland , @itsmina29 , @ktownshizzle , @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d , @kimtaehussy .
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➪ 01 ・ 02  ・  03 | ➪ Tag for TCT verse | ♡ Tag list ➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Pinned | ➪ Ko-fi
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7ndipity · 1 year ago
Text
You flinch during a fight
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How they would react to you flinching during a fight/argument.
Warnings: angst obviously, slight implications of past trauma, not proofread
A/N:(damn, y'all really like angst, huh? Lol) Thanks to the lovely anon who sent this request, I hope you like them!
Masterlist
Requests are open
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Seokjin: Jin forgets just how big he is sometimes and how intimidating that can be. Which is why, when he swung around suddenly to say something and saw you take a small step back, he was confused for a moment before it hit him, and he froze. The room had fallen silent, both of you unsure of what to do or how to proceed. "I didn't mean to-" "I know." You stopped him before he could finish. "Cause you know I would never-" "I know, baby, it was just a reflex." You told him, knowing he would beat himself up over this if you didn't stop him. "Can we just say you won the fight and move on? He asked, making you grin as you wrapped your arms around his middle. "Sure."
Yoongi: It was a tiny movement, so small it would've easily been missed, had he not been looking at you when he slammed his hand down on the table in frustration, causing you to wince. Instantly, he felt every ounce of anger drain away, replaced with hollow shame. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly after a long pause, not meeting your eye. You nodded. "You just startled me." He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm his own nerves. "Can we not do this? I don't wanna fight, not like this." "Me neither." You agreed. You settled on just spending the evening together quietly, eventually talking through the original issue much more calmly.
Hobi: As loud as Hobi might be, he almost never raises his voice with you, which why it caught you so off guard and made you flinch. It was a purely instinctual response, but for Hobi, it made his heart absolutely shatter, eyes immediately glazing over with tears. He was supposed to be you safe place, your protector, how could he make you feel unsafe? As if you could read his mind, you were quick to try and reassure him. "Hobi, it's okay." "No, It's not, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm so sorry." You end up sitting together, comforting each other for a while.
Namjoon: He didn't even realize just how tightly wound you had both become during the argument until he slammed a cabinet door, making you jump. Glancing up to see you, clearly startled, his stubborn pride evaporated. "Lets not talk it about it anymore right now, we're not gonna solve anything while we're upset, okay?" He asked, keeping his tone soft in an attempt to soothe you. "Okay." You nodded. "Can I hug you?" He asked. Again, you nodded, letting him carefully tuck you into his chest. "I'm so sorry."
Jimin: He knows he can be intimidating when he's angry, but he never thought you would view him like that, until he saw you flinch back into the sofa cushions. His eyes got so big, before sinking down next to you on the couch. "Did... did I scare you?" He asked, barely able to speak above a whisper. "I don't know." You said, which he knew was your go-to response when you wanted to avoid the truth. Biting back a wave of emotion, he spoke, trying to keep his voice calm. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper." "It's okay." You said. It wasn't, not to him, but he didn't want to push you further right now. Right now, he just wanted to make you feel better.
Taehyung: When he whipped around to face you, only to see you instinctively shrink back, he froze, hands falling ground his sides. "Babe." He said, voice small, wobbly. "I wouldn't... you know I wouldn't, right?" "I know, it was just a reflex." You said even more quietly, fiddling with your fingers which he knew was a sign of how stressed you actually were. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled you into a tight hug. "Please know that you're always safe with me."
Jungkook: He knew you hated loud noises, but in the heat of the moment, he couldn't help the the raise in his voice. As soon as he saw the tears in your eyes though, he panicked. "I'm sorry!" He apologized profusely, rushing over to hold you, maybe a little faster than he should've, but he couldn't help it, he couldn't stand the thought that he'd made you so upset. "Please don't yell." You sniffled. "I won't, I swear, I won't. I'm so sorry baby." Clings to you for the rest of the evening.
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secretsecretbunny · 9 months ago
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idk if you do drabble requests but I love your writing so much! you really have a way with words so i was wondering if maybe you'd do a drabble about new!idol fem reader (can be solo or group w/e) who really looks up to and admires BTS and they meet her before watching her perform for the first time? also maybe there's some flirting? (idc which members I'm ot7) just one of my lil day dreams I wanna get out there 🥺 anyway! keep writing, you're genuinely really good 🫶🏻
I do now!! This sounded too cute to pass up 💕
Title: "Run."
Genre: drabble, one-shot, casual??? fluff??? idk how to describe this one lmao. I hope you enjoy!
Notes: y/s/n = "your stage name". Things that are underlined are links to the outfits described.
Your nerves had you literally shaking with anticipation as you waited behind the scenes of the show. So many incredible talents were performing today and here you were, an unknown newbie who was about to take the stage in front of a live audience. Why did they even want you to debut at this big of an event in the first place? Your manager reassured you it was because they believed in your talent and knew that taking a chance on you and letting your first performance be somewhere as prestigious as this would draw in fans, who would appreciate the unique sound you bring to the table. In particular, if the responses of other idols who are more famous and well-known were captured on camera and shared with their fanbase through broadcasts or similar media channels.
The way they styled you had you feeling nervous as well, with a form-fitting pink mini skirt that hugged your curves and a white button up top that was tucked in with a black and pink tie, adding a touch of elegance to your look. The cropped black blazer and black gogo boots with heels made you feel like you were going to fall at any moment, but the white leather garter with a chain on one of your thighs added a bold touch to your outfit. You felt a little exposed but you took a moment to be silently appreciative of the safety shorts you wore beneath your skirt.
You had always dreamed of being part of a group, working together towards a common goal. That's why you were initially brought on as a trainee for the company in the first place. However, after careful consideration and evaluation of your skills and strengths, it was ultimately decided that your talents would be best utilized flying solo. But you deeply wished you had people to lean on, members who could offer support and distract from your potential mistakes. You tugged at your skirt awkwardly as you stood around waiting for your time to perform. You still had nearly 30 minutes but you were too nervous to sit, instead you opted for watching the screen positioned on the wall, showing the current performers on stage.
You smiled at the screen at the talent being shown. BTS. You had a deep admiration for the group and enjoyed watching them perform their song DNA. The members exuded confidence and comfort on stage, making it seem like they never worried about mistakes at this point in their career. You watched as they moved fluidly across the stage, perfectly in sync with one another. 
A close up of Jimin had you grinning like an idiot. God he was pretty. Fuck, they all were. Hoseok with his vibrant smile, Namjoon with his unique features and buff build, Yoongi and his piercing eyes, Taehyung sporting the flirtiest looks you had ever seen, Jungkook somehow looking both innocent and dangerously delicious, and Jin with his world wide handsome face. And even more than their looks, they were so incredibly talented and hardworking.
You had heard the detailed story of how they rose to the top, overcoming numerous challenges and obstacles along the way. Their journey was filled with both good and bad experiences, but through it all, they showed great dedication and strength. And here you were, you hadn't even had your first performance yet and you had been ready to give up multiple times just during your 4 years of being a trainee. Working for the same label as the musicians who inspired you to pursue music in the first place left you feeling both grateful and slightly out of place, as if you hadn't earned your spot there yet.
You completely dismissed those thoughts and made your way towards the snack and beverage area, specifically designated for idols and staff members. You were in dire need of water and something sweet to give you an energy boost. As the boys finished their performance, the booming cheers from the crowd echoed through the air. You froze in surprise when you heard the seven of them laughing and panting out of breath as they entered the same room you were in. You attempted to seem nonchalant as they eagerly grabbed water bottles and snacks for themselves, while you discreetly tucked your hair behind your ear and reached for a water bottle too, all the while listening intently as Jungkook and Hoseok laughed uncontrollably about some unknown joke or incident.
In their fit of laughter Jungkook backed up into you, making you stumble back a bit. He whipped around suddenly "shit, sorry!" he apologized with a small bow. "Kookie you've gotta be more careful!" came a voice from behind you. The voice placed a hand on your shoulder. "You okay?" As you turned your head, you caught sight of Jimin with a gentle smile on his face. You quickly nodded in response, your eyes wide, causing him to let out a soft chuckle. "Hey! We making new friends?" Came Hoseok's voice as he reached his hand out to you. "I'm Hoseok. Or Hobi, J-Hope, whatever's fine." he said. His signature smile was contagious, spreading warmth to the pit of your stomach as he spoke. You took his hand lightly, stifling a giggle. "I uh, I know who you are. I'm y/n. Or y/s/n. Whatever's fine." You mimicked with a warm smile. He laughed. "Nice to meet you, y/n!" His hand was warm, and making your head swim, prompting you to let go.
"Wait, y/s/n?" Yoongi asked, stepping into the conversation. "The new girl? You're debuting today, right?" As you glanced in his direction, your nervousness was evident in the rapid nodding of your head. "Mhmm! In uh.." you checked the time on your phone. "shit.. 15 minutes actually." You said, taking a shaky breath in. "Nervous?" came Taehyung's voice from behind Yoongi.
You were now the center of attention for the seven boys, who were anxiously anticipating your next words. "Incredibly so.." you replied, making them all smile at you. "Hey I'm sure you're going to do great!" Namjoon chimed in "yeah, you're going to sound amazing!" Said Jin. They all nodded as you laughed
"you guys have never even heard me sing, how would you know?" You asked with a playful lilt in your voice. "Well, you're beautiful, so I'm sure your voice matches." God. Jimin was just as flirty as people described him, with a playful smile and a wink that could light up the room. You rolled your eyes with a laugh. "Smooth, pretty boy." You chuckled out, making him smirk. Jungkook looked you up and down for a moment "Your outfit looks great, your stylists did an amazing job." You took a moment to examine your outfit, making sure every piece was in its place and smoothing out any wrinkles on your skirt.
"Thanks, I actually had to beg them to add black into the theme. They originally wanted me in all pink and white and that's just... really not my vibe." This had Hoseok raising a brow. "What's not your vibe? ...sweet and innocent?" He asked with a smirk and the tilt of his head.
For just an instant, your eyes flickered with something that looked almost like mischief before settling back into their usual serenity; however fleeting this transformation may have been, its impact left ripples. Luckily you were saved by staff running up to you. "Y/n you have 10 minutes! Please come get your hair and makeup touched up!" The girl sounded almost panicked. You gave her a sweet smile. "Be right there!" You said, putting your sweet and shy persona back on. "I should run. Thanks for the pep talk, boys!" you said with a small bow. "You got this!" Namjoon said as you turned to leave. Jin's voice stopped you "would it make you more or less nervous if we said we'll be watching?" You paused for a moment in thought. "Hmm, well, I think I'd be more motivated not to fall on my ass if I knew THE Bangtan was watching my every move." This made them smirk. "We'll have our eyes glued to you then." Hoseok said with a subtle wink, his voice low. "You better." You replied amorously as you walked away.
With you fully out of earshot now, the boys spoke. "she's cute as hell."  Jungkook said. "Hm, she acts cute, but I think she's a little darker than that." Hoseok laughed. "Her and Jimin have the same vibes" Taehyung said playfully. "Oh, so I'm cute AND sexy? Thanks Taetae." Jimin retorted playfully, making the man roll his eyes. "Alright guys keep it in your pants." Yoongi commented. "Right, let's just go watch her performance like we promised, yeah?" Namjoon stated as they headed towards the changing room to switch outfits before returning to the audience.
As you stepped onto the stage, your nerves seemed to vanish into thin air as you effortlessly slipped into your performance persona. The song you performed was sultry, sassy, and sensual. Your manager referred to it as 'the triple S.' You found that you fell into the role easier than you thought you would since you discovered that with how bright the stage's colorful lights were, you could barely even see the crowd, but you could feel their energy and passion.
As your performance was coming to a close, one of your backup dancers suddenly fell near your feet. Despite knowing you needed to continue with the choreography, it felt wrong to simply step around her and ignore her situation. So, you decided to help her up while still singing and dancing, offering a reassuring smile and squeezing her hand gently when she looked panicked. She quickly fell back into the routine and the rest of the performance went on without another issue. 
As soon as you left the stage, you were immediately ushered off to change into more appropriate clothing for sitting in the audience with the other idols who either weren't performing or had already finished their performances. A simple long black dress with two high slits on either side, though you still wore a leather garter with a chain, this time in black though. Your seat was just a row behind the bts boys, you gave a small bow and a smile as you passed them. Once you sat down, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook all turned around to give you a thumbs up or small claps, telling you that you had done a good job. Despite your best efforts you couldn't fight the bright smile that took over your features.
No more than 2 hours later you were at the after party being reprimanded by your manager for stopping mid performance to help your backup dancer. "You know you're supposed to keep going in instances like that!" She barked out. "I technically did keep going! I wasn't just going to ignore her while she was struggling!" You spat back with an eye roll, arms crossed over your chest. She let out a deep sigh, her shoulders sagging in resignation.
However, before she could continue with whatever she was going to say, you abruptly turned and started walking away from her. Unfortunately for you though, your hasty retreat led you straight into the path of an oncoming person - or more specifically, their chest - resulting in a jarring impact that sent you stumbling backward several steps. "fuck! I mean, augh... sorry!" you bowed. "We're just always bumping into each other, huh? Now we're even." you looked up to see Jungkook with a couple of the boys not far behind. You let out a small laugh "I guess we are." as Hoseok walked up, he peeked around you for a moment, eyeing your manager as she huffed and stomped away.
"You get in trouble for something?" he asked. You nodded with another eye roll. "She's upset that I stopped to help my backup dancer when she fell." His eyebrows furrowed "she's mad at you for being a kind a decent human being?" You smiled "that's one way to put it I suppose." you replied. Jimin, hearing the conversation being had, pouted "I thought it made you look cool and likeable!" he said with a tilt of his head. You anxiously fiddled with your fingers, feeling a bit nervous. "Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I really hope it didn't ruin the performance." Hoseok shook his head. "Not at all! You were amazing up there!" Jungkook and Jimin nodded, agreeing. "Let me get you something to drink to get your mind off it, yeah?" He added. You smiled "sure, that'd be great."
As Jimin and Jungkook started mingling with the crowd, you and Hoseok headed towards the bar, located at the distant end of the room. The venue had arranged for an assortment of drinks to be served, and the bartender was busy filling orders.
He ordered you your drink of choice and something for himself as well. You two engaged in a casual conversation for nearly half an hour, exploring various topics and discovering shared interests such as music, movies, and hobbies. The ice in your second round of drinks had mostly melted, indicating they were nearing completion when he posed the question "you wanna get out of here?"
Halting your speech mid-sentence, you turned to face him with an inquiring gaze before your expression shifted into a sly grin that showed your true intentions. "Absolutely." You responded. He grinned widely as he grabbed your hand, his grip firm and confident, leading you towards the exit with purpose.
As you walked, he waved goodbye to his members, a gesture that seemed almost automatic. You spotted your manager heading towards you, her expression written in annoyance, causing your heart to race in anticipation. You gave Hoseok's hand a stern warning squeeze as your manager approached, making him raise an eyebrow at you in confusion. However, the mischievous grin spreading across your features told him everything he needed to know - you had no intention of being deterred by anyone.
"Run."
You said before pulling him into a dash towards the exit. You both burst into a fit of laughter as you rapidly made your way out of the building, the sound of your hurried footsteps on the hard floor growing fainter with each passing second until you were no longer in sight.
Tonight might be fun after all, you decided.
aaaa okay how was that? Thoughts? Critiques? Requests? Let me know what's up. Love you!! 🩷
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bluemari23 · 8 months ago
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Hello Mari, how are you? I was very happy with the new notifications! Your writing is one of my favorites🙃❤️.
If you feel comfortable, could you write a headcanon aimed at the BTS members where we are the boys' romantic interest, being the 8th in the group? Maybe a foreign member.
NOTE: Thank you very much for your attention! I'm happy to see you back, a big hug❤️.
Hello! thank you so much!
and i took this almost as a poly idea the second i read it, so thats kind of how i wrote your ask if that's okay! :)
bf!namjoon who constantly tries to hide negative comments about you during live, not wanting you to see any hate for being their 8th member. He and the boys know that your relationship with them is a secret, but cant help but to still try to protect you from anything and everything. Knows when something is wrong during an interview and immediately will send a signal to their manage that the interview is over. Tries to be a confidant to you and help you integrate into idol society as their new member.
bf!jin who just tries to do whatever he can to help you in any way. "Oppa will do it". Knows you are independent but loves to help you with the little things like opening a jar of pickles. Will keep snacks near by for you knowing how you tend to stress eat. Will forever be your cooking buddy despite you loving to bake. Wants to try to bake for you but you might need to help him not put too much baking soda into the baked good.
bf!yoongi who may not show it, but is so in love with you that he knows everything. he is so observant and knows exactly how you like your orange peeled (with none of the white stuff left because you can't stand the texture of it). Loves that you will hold his whenever he wants and for as long as he wants. Will never move first when cuddling on the couch, waiting until you make the first move. Is the first to sense something wrong by watching your facial expressions and body movements (like how you rub your fingers together when nervous or anxious).
bf!hoseok who takes extra time to help you learn all of their choreography so you don't falll behind with their new music/choreo. Is the best at getting you up and out of bed when you feel down from the hate youre getting online. will bring you your favorite coffee/tea when he knows you have an early morning. buys you your wardrobe (along with jimin) as they both want to dress you and take pride in the fact that you were the clothes they buy you. loves to dress you up in matching outfits.
bf!jimin who is very cuddly and affectionate. loves to lean on you and have you lean on him. spends a lot of time just being a buddy while you do chores or are getting ready for a schedule. just loves to being your ocmpany, not needing anything planned. will just lay in bed with you for hours, keeping you from stewing too long on things not in your control. stops the company from putting you on a diet for their next comeback because you are absolutely perfect to him and the boys.
bf!taehyung who loves to go explore with you. any new city you guys go to he likes to take you out to explore life in the city and find new places. loves to buy you accessories like scarves and sunglasses because then you guys match. taehyung who reads out all the "marry me y/n" and maybe makes some up just to see you smile and politely decline. loves trying to get a reaction out of you and maybe tag teams with jungkook to see who could get you flustered the most first.
bf!jungkook who loves to assert his dominance and "throw you around". loves to pick you up in his arms and throw you onto the couch or bed before smothering you in kisses. keeps you favorite treat in his bag so he can share it with you before jin sees. loves to do karaoke sessions with you on live and gets frequently caught by army staring at you in awe. jungkook who insists on sharing verses with you because he loves how your two voices mesh together. jungkook who knoes exactly how you like your ramen and makes it up before bringing it to you with a grin on his face.
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bangtanfanfiction · 10 months ago
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hopelessly falling  → k. sunwoo (tbz)
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Based on this ask.
♢ Pairing: Sunwoo x Idol!female Reader → Idol AU
♢ Word count: 6.8k
♢ Trope: 8th f!member of BTS, strangers-to-lovers, Older!woman x Younger!man
♢ Genre: Fluff, suggestive, angst if you squint ig
⌲ Description: Being the 8th female member of BTS has brought you more trials than you could count. Now being the only one left behind after their enlistments was another obstacle you struggled adjusting to, until you found yourself hopelessly falling for someone completely unexpected. ↳ Warnings: Makeout session, swearing. Sunwoo being a flirty menace but we're loving it.
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HOBI: Good luck, Y/N! You’ll crush it like always! JIMIN: You’ll do great! JIN: We’ll be monitoring you :)) YOONGS: Don’t be nervous, you’ll be amazing, kiddo. JOONIE: Y/N fighting! JK: Fighting! TAE: Go, go, go Y/N!
Despite the relentless thumping of your heart, or the cold sweat building up on the surface of your skin - there was no hiding the loving smile pulling at your lips as you scrolled through the messages in the group chat bombarding the notifications without you having to even ask.
Your members knew you well enough at this point after more than ten years together that when you went radio silent on all platforms, it meant you were drowning in your nerves. 
Frankly, how couldn‘t you? You were the last of BTS to release your solo album, and only after all of them had enlisted into the military with you sending them off accompanied by a snotty nose each time. If you could, you probably would have enlisted as well despite being a woman just to not be alone until Seokjin or Hobi were to return. 
Ah…This was hard. You thought, dropping the phone back on the table and looking yourself in the mirror. 
Taking in your elaborate makeup and clothes, hair styled to perfection not a single speck of mascara or blush out of place. You were surrounded by people; your management team and stylists. People who had been with you for more than five years, but the loneliness had never felt more heavy than today.
You thought you had prepared yourself for it. Mentally that is. Your boys had also been exceptionally worried for your mental well-being for when it was time and made sure to give you all sorts of ways to communicate with them. 
The irony was that you actually enjoyed your own space. Being alone at home for days and doing nothing besides your usual workout routine was ideal, truly. 
Until you understood the saying ´You don't know what you have until it's gone.´ 
Clearly not as overly dramatic or depressing as the original meaning. But still, you felt their absence all the same. 
The only comfort you could find from this was Yoongi with his alternative enlistment and still being around for you to find comfort in after his working hours. 
But you hadn’t sought out his presence for a couple of weeks now, being too busy with your prep and wanting to let him get used to his new routine before barging in with your cries of loneliness. 
“Maybe I should get a boyfriend…” You muttered to yourself, catching the delighted attention of your main stylist unnie, Aera, whose eyes widened at those words.
“You want a boyfriend?” She straightened up as if finding a 50 percent off sale on designer goods, making you regret having spoken at all. “Ooo, do you want me to introduce you to someone? I can set up a blind date! You like them like ten years older, don’t you? All alpha male and stuff? I know a couple of men like that.”
Her ranting and frankly too-knowledgeable about your preferences made you heat up in slight exasperation. 
Okay, so what - you tended to gravitate towards buff, white men in their late thirties bordering on forties. Just because you might faint at the sight of Henry Cavill or Chris Evans hardly meant much for your real-life preferences. 
Ask Jimin. You dated him – a brief one year - and he was hardly a carbon copy of Captain America or The Witcher. 
“Unnie, I’ve already told you…”
Aera sighed before mimicking what you hardly believed sounded like yourself. “I know, I know. I’m not looking for anyone, it happens when it happens.”
It wasn’t the first time you’ve had this conversation with her. 
“Besides, why is everyone being so pushy about me finding someone?” You directed this question to the rest of the room, who laughed amongst themselves at the truth of it. 
“Because your last boyfriend was Jimin, and that is honestly sad, darling.” Your manager, Yoo-Mi, piped up from the corner while scrolling through her phone. Probably double checking your upcoming schedules and forward emails to the rest of the staff. She was always working despite you begging her to take it easy sometimes. 
Turning around in your chair, you frowned. “It’s only been three years.” Going into the fourth since your mutual breakup. 
“Exactly, sad.” She didn’t relent, making your shoulders slump, another titter of fond laughter spread through the room. “Listen, Jiminie is great, of course he is. So we don’t blame you for already reaching the top when it comes to standards in men. But when was the last time you had a crush?”
“A crush?” Even the word sounded foreign to you. 
“Henry Cavill does not count.”
“But that’s a crush!” You exclaimed. “I could pull him.”
“That’s not a crush, that’s a fantasy. You haven’t even met the man.”
“Rude…” You mumbled with a pout, though admitting defeat. 
Damn, so everyone thought your dating life was dry and depressing. Great. 
You knew they all meant well, acting like an overbearing family. And in the end, they just wanted you to be happy. 
“Y/N it’s time to head out.”
Standing up you took one last overview in the mirror before typing out a reply to the group chat.
Y/N: I'm off now! Love you!
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You had completely forgotten how music shows worked. It had been three years since the group promoted for ‘ON’ in the midst of covid with countless of measurements. You hadn’t stepped foot on a show since, besides supporting your members for their recent promotions. 
It had also been more than a year since you’ve done any performances within Korea, having only just returned from your American solo promotions - so for you, everything felt more awkward than familiar despite your years of experience in the industry. 
You heard the cheers of the crowd just as you walked into the studio where the live recording was going on for another boygroup, the hard-hitting smooth beats making your head nod as you stopped in front of a screen to overlook the stage. 
Staff moved around you, securing a mic-pack before your sparkling microphone with a gradient purple to black found itself in your hand. The fans were screaming and chanting, and you found your attention caught without realizing it. 
You counted ten guys on the screen as they danced fiercely in commendable synchronization looking like one single unit as they moved. 
The Boyz was a familiar group to you, an old memory from an award show where they had asked BTS for a picture with shy grins and you had nearly cooed at their cuteness. Then again when Kingdom: Legendary War had aired you found yourself tuning in to watch every week. 
However, this was the first you’ve seen of the group since then - having been far too busy to keep up with all the groups on the regular, never mind every single song. 
You were enjoying the song currently playing, head nodding to the beat as you watched on. 
Not even you noticed how you had simply frozen at the next chorus, your attention wholly stolen for a mere couple of seconds. 
But it had been enough to change your entire world when the moment was recounted by your team in the future. 
“Hi, hello,
My name is what you want it to
숨겨 왔던
욕망들을 whisper.”
Huh. 
A sneeze suddenly forced itself out of you as you glared at the culprit, Aera smiling pointedly while holding a makeup brush that she had just tickled under your nostrils. 
“What was that for?” You grumbled, the room coming back into your attention. 
“My, my Y/N - is that a blush I see?” She teased as you scoffed, eyes flickering to the stage as the song came to an end. 
“You’re being ridiculous.” You dismissed her swiftly, ignoring the hum she gave and letting her touch up your already flawless makeup.
You were waiting patiently near the stairs, letting your management team take the last checks for your setup as people rushed around on stage to clean up and get it ready for your performance.  
The Boyz were making their way down and were impressively quick to notice you, though you blamed it on your bright white clothes in the darkness. You watched in patient amusement as some of their eyes widened, and even saw a member slapping the one in front of him with a muted gasp. 
You offered them a friendly grin as their flustered bodies caught up and everyone started bowing, their waists nearly snapping in half as you took half a step forward. 
“Please, take it easy.” You laughed lightly. “I loved your performance. The song is amazing.”
The obvious leader stepped forward, again bending at the waist but spoke with a sure and calm voice. “Thank you, Sunbaenim. It’s an honor.” 
The members were quick to follow with various choruses of thank yous, however, some had accepted your words and took it a bit easier with the bowing.  
“We love your album, sunbaenim. It’s been on repeat in the dorm since its release.” He continued to lead the conversation, the group of young men creating a half circle around you. 
“Oh thank you so much!” There was no hint of any pretense in your tone, you were always immensely grateful when people told you they loved your music. 
“You’re the leader, right? What’s your name?” 
“Yes, I am. I’m Sangyeon.”
“Ah right!” Your fingers snapped in excitement. “I remember you, of course. From the MMA’s…was it 2018?”
Some of their eyes widened in surprise to know that you remembered them. You relished in it honestly, always loving to prove people wrong about the public’s assumption of how worldwide fame and recognition had made BTS arrogant and seemingly unapproachable. 
“Y-yes, that’s correct, thank you for remembering us.” 
“I enjoyed watching you on Kingdom.” You admitted, noticing how they were starting to relax around you, smiling more easily and paying attention as if you were the president holding a speech. “You were one of my favorite groups throughout the whole second season.”
Again they started bowing and thanking you, luckily less aggressive than earlier. 
“Y/N-sshi, we are ready for you in five minutes. Please make your way to the stage, thank you.” A voice announced through the speakers as The Boyz started to bow again and ushered away as you offered brief goodbyes. 
But then you made the mistake of looking up, finding yourself locked in a trance of soft, plump lips, thick eyebrows, puppy dog eyes, and a slim angular face - your throat felt parched as your mouth parted, but no sound came out and you snapped it back shut embarrassed. 
Kim Sunwoo noticed the sudden strange behavior, as a single brow rose but he remained polite with a simple tug of his lips and a slight bow. 
His dark straight hair was parted in the middle, reminding you of the styles from 90’s boybands. You admired the way his slim t-shirt molded against his lean body with the leather pants and a thick silver chain around his neck. A chain he had pulled seductively while gliding across the floor and stared into the camera.
An image still swimming in your mind. 
An appraisal that you were quick to scold yourself over as you felt yourself blushing even hotter, eyes snapping away only hoping he didn’t notice your weird actions. 
Only to find yourself stumbling over your own feet in a moment of rare clumsiness. 
You managed to save yourself the embarrassment of falling to the ground, but only with Sunwoo’s quick thinking. Who had smoothly stepped close and held out a hovering arm just in case you were to fall, his other gently around your bicep to keep your balance. 
Fuck, you were making a whole fool out of yourself.
No one had noticed it, thank goodness. All too busy with their tasks to pay attention to the interaction.
“Are you okay?” Jesus, his voice was deep. “Sunbaenim?” He hastily added, seemingly remembering your status. 
“I-I’m okay.” You even stuttered now. Since when did you ever stutter. “Sorry, and thank you.”
“You should watch where you’re going.” He offered a half smile, those lips looking even more ridiculously plump and soft close as you stared up at him. “Careful not to get hurt.”
At this point, you were sure he noticed your flustered state as you cleared your throat and took a small step back out of his grip. 
“I should get going.” Was all you managed to say in your embarrassed state, swiftly stepping past him to walk up the stage but not before glancing back and noticing the amused pull of his features as he quietly chuckled to himself and followed his members out.
Aera made her sudden presence known as you flinched at her proximity, only to feel your stomach drop at the near-manic grin on her face. 
“Now that, is a crush, my dear.”
You wanted to curl up into a ball and scream your frustrations out from that whole interaction, but could only brace yourself with a smile as you were faced with the crowd who cheered as you came into view. 
Dozens of ARMY bombs waving helped settle the worry in your gut just for now. 
Nicely done, Y/N. Worldwide icon, indeed huh. 
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You were still thinking about it as you exited the stage studio. 
So caught up in your lingering embarrassment and out-of-character behavior that even surprised yourself. 
Over what?! A pretty face? A voice that made your skin tingle just by the rasp of it?
“Fucking get a grip, Y/N…” You muttered, fingers massaging your temples as you returned to your dressing room. 
Only to walk straight into your next phase of what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you. Quite literally too. 
Sunwoo let out a low ‘Whoa’ as you gasped and stumbled back to fully avoid running him down in your haste to hide yourself away until the nominations live broadcast. 
The toilet sign hung above his head as he maneuvered both of you to the side and away from the doors.  
“Oh my-” You were practically bumbling fool as your hands moved in silent explanation without many words to follow up, but he understood you well enough with a small, charming grin making his eyes crinkle and nose scrunch up just the slightest. 
“Hello, sunbaenim.” He gave a polite nod of his head. “It’s one of those days, huh?”
“Yeah…” You sighed in defeat, hardly trying to keep up that big and mighty senior artist image any longer. “I’m sorry it’s been taken out on you today.”
Sunwoo never lost his smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’s hardly the worst thing that happened to me at music shows.”
You nodded thankfully, very much aware that you were avoiding looking at him directly. Just for your own sanity, if you were being transparent. 
“You can stop that, by the way…” My god, were you shy, right now?
“Stop what?”
You cleared your throat. “Calling me sunbaenim all the time. I’m not very fond of the stiff formalities, so you can just relax around me.”
“Ah…” Even though you weren’t looking at him, you could feel his thinking. “Then… would noona be alright?” 
Your neck might as well have cracked with how quickly you snapped up to stare at him with widened eyes. Only to meet a knowing smirk gracing his dangerously, pretty face.
“N-noona?” You repeated almost stupidly.
“And here I thought my breath smelled or something. You wouldn’t even look at me.” The smirk widened.
Calming yourself in record time, you were composed enough to retort with a halfhearted glare. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“You are making it very easy.” Kim Sunwoo was a straightforward man, you realized. “I suppose I would be too if caught checking someone out.” Well fuck. 
Your first step was denial. “I wasn’t-”
“Don’t feel embarrassed about it. I know I’m good-looking, noona. Just didn’t realize it was to the point of losing gravity.”
If you weren’t quick on catching onto dry humor, you might have thought him deadly serious with how flat he spoke those words. But you were well versed with this sort. Yoongi being a perfect example of it. 
The exaggerated push you delivered against his shoulder came from a place of familiarity with your own members, and Sunwoo didn’t seem to mind the casualness of it as his facade broke and he laughed. 
Giggling along, you shook your head. “You’re good.”
“I know.”
However, your smile fell at his sudden wince and how swiftly he managed to play it off within a second. But you were a quick study and noticed how subtly he rolled his neck. 
“Are you hurting somewhere?” You were blunt in your concern, this time surprising him. 
“Ah…” He was considering lying, you knew that. Having done it many times before yourself. But Sunwoo brushed the moment off.  “It’s just a bit of muscle stiffness in my neck and shoulders, nothing too serious. Don’t worry about it.”
You scrutinized him for a couple of seconds before accepting it. “If you say so. But I wouldn’t be dancing as hard as you did today with that kind of pain. Be a little mindful at least and ease back.”
Sunwoo was appreciative of your advice, accepting it with a gracious nod and another, quite frankly, heart-palpating smile directed at you. You could probably just stand here and admire him for several minutes in silence if it was offered to you, but you had an image to maintain after all.
An image that fell through the moment Kim Sunwoo was involved. 
“Getting lost in my beauty again, are you?” His teasing was never-ending, but instead of annoying you it only managed to pull your smile even wider. 
“You are ridiculous.” Was all you managed to say with a chuckle. 
He bit into his lower lip thoughtfully before deciding against whatever mental war he was having. “Ridiculous enough to ask for your number?”
There it was again. Your dry throat, and the way your heart probably skipped a beat. 
“You…want my number?”
“I mean, who doesn’t want a BTS member’s number.” Sunwoo shrugged, that stupid fitted t-shirt and chain catching your attention again. 
So you quirked a brow at him, knowing something else was coming. “And that’s your goal? A BTS member’s number?”
“That would be cool.” He was being awfully truthful until his eyes locked onto your own. “But I would love having the number of a beautiful woman more. Perhaps with a date on the side?”
Your surprise at his bold confession was hardly hidden, mouth parting as you blinked up at him expecting a joke to follow. 
This wasn’t exactly the first time you’ve been asked out by someone, but it has always been a bigger or older senior until BTS blew up to the point other idols found it too intimidating to approach anymore. It was a love-hate relationship for you in those circumstances. 
Yet Kim Sunwoo managed to cross those unwritten boundaries without fear of outside consequences, his gaze firmly locked on your own without notice of anything going on around you standing by the toilets in a public hallway. 
“Are you sure you would want to risk that?” Those words tasted bitter on your tongue when all you wanted to do was say yes. 
But you weren’t a fool. Anyone getting involved with BTS would always get a spotlight of any kind shone on them, wanted or not. And you made sure to warn them of it. 
Sunwoo was not shaken by it. Only quirking up a brow as if saying so what. 
Your heart thumped even harder. So you held out a hand and he wordlessly put his phone in it as the clicking of your manicured nails swiftly typed in your number. 
You watched as he typed in whatever name he chose to give you in his contacts and pocketed the device again.
“I’ll be waiting for that date.” You smiled with satisfaction to see the top of his ears turning red, brushing past him.
So you weren’t the only one affected at least.
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UNKNOWN: What’s your favorite drink? Y/N: Who is this? UNKNOWN: I’m hurt, noona.  Y/N:  Ah Hello to you too, Sunwoo You changed Unknown’s name to Sunwoo. SUNWOO: Backtracking to the question. Y/N:  I’m a coffee addict SUNWOO: Ofc, the drink of life. Let me guess, iced americano? Y/N: I’m more of a sweet latte girl SUNWOO: A woman after my own heart. Y/N:  Alright you little flirt Care to explain? SUNWOO: I’m planning for our date ofc Y/N: Oh? Did I miss the location? SUNWOO: It’s a surprise Y/N: Should I be worried? SUNWOO: Why do you keep doubting me :(  Y/N: Acting cute won’t help you SUNWOO: heart emoji Y/N: But fine, better not disappoint me, Kim Sunwoo I got high standards after all ;) SUNWOO: I guess the pressure is on
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“Hi.”
“...hey.”
Your soft giggle on the other side of the phone made Sunwoo smile without realizing it. 
“Why are you breathless?”
“Ah…” He kicked away a stray pair of pants on the floor before sitting down on his bed, making sure the door was closed. “I ran to my room when you called. We just got back from the schedules.”
“You could have just called me back.” There was rustling on your end, and looking at the time he assumed you were just getting into bed. 
“I didn’t wanna leave you hanging.”
“Hm, what a gentleman.”
“For you? Always.”
You giggled again. A sound Sunwoo was certain he was becoming obsessed with hearing. 
“I tried seeing you today.” 
“Yeah.” He lowered his voice just in case any of his members were to hear him. “Me too. It was quite hectic today, I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t be. I know how it gets.”
“What did you do today?”
“Besides the music show? Just some interviews and a radio recording. I’m keeping my promotions at the bare minimum this time around.”
Stretching out on the bed, he couldn’t help but tease you. “Of course, the power of BTS.”
“Oh shush you.”
A silence settled between you. But it was a comfortable one, strangely enough. No awkward shuffling of clothes to have something to do, or the tense waiting for the other to speak. 
“I like this.” His voice was grating with how low he was trying to keep it. 
“...Like what?”
“This. Just talking to you, noona.”
Sunwoo could hear the smile in your voice. “I like this too. Very much so.”
It was hard to say how many hours the two of you spoke every night since that fateful day, but there were certainly no complaints on either end.
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“This is fucking ridiculous.” Roughly peeling off the cropped denim jacket, you would feel guilty about how you threw it in the corner later. Aera would understand, hopefully. 
The stupid conflict between HYBE and MBC was no industry secret. But you managed to convince your company to give them another chance by letting you promote there this time after several years of avoiding the place. 
And did you regret it. 
“Do they think they can take me for a fucking idiot because I’m solo?” You seethed, whirling to stare at Yoo-Mi. She had a displeased expression as well, already tapping on her phone furiously as mutters of annoyance spread through the rest of your management team. 
You had been on a tense tirade the entire morning with the MBC production team and director about how you wanted your performance to be captured. They were obviously not used to how much creative freedom you were usually privy to and fought you the entire way, with passive-aggressive suggestions going against what you wanted. 
They only kept messing up, from your mic glitching on stage to the sound being off in your in-ear despite your several attempts to fix it during rehearsals. So the final product ended up being a complete mess in your own opinion, finding faults in every single frame in the live broadcast, your voice not being clear enough, and backtracking far too loud to convince viewers you were singing live despite having more than enough proof throughout the ten years. 
The haters would have a field day with that. 
“-a complete mess today, I’m telling you!” Your manager’s voice was going on in the background. 
“I can’t do this right now.” With a pointed look a Yoo-Mi, she nodded in understanding as you walked out of the dressing room towards wherever there were fewer people. 
You found a random hallway, fairly empty with an empty cushioned bench away from the main area of dressing rooms. Slumping down with your back resting against the cold wall, you closed your eyes with a tired groan. 
It was moments like these where you craved the support of your members. If this were Namjoon, he would not have relented in getting this perfect, Yoongi and Hobi right by his sides with their penetrating gazes to make sure. Jimin and Tae would be by you in their comfort, whereas Jin and JK would make extra sure that things weren’t spiraling out of control by being the compromisers in the middle. 
You weren’t a pushover, far from it. But you weren’t one for confrontations unless absolutely necessary. Today could have gone several ways with much better results if not for the underlying conflict between business companies. 
You don’t know if you dozed off or were simply in your own world. But the sudden cold, damp surface of something on your forehead made you flinch up as your eyes connected with the concerned ones of Sunwoo. 
He held an iced coffee in hand, the same one he was pressing against your skin as you allowed yourself to relax. 
“Are you okay?”
Standing up, you instead ignored the question and wrapped your smaller hand around his own still holding on to the cup. “Is this for me?”
He nodded, lips peeling back into a small smile as you accepted it. “A caramel macchiato latte, extra espresso shot.”
You had only mentioned your preferred drink once, but he had it memorized already.
“Thank you.”
Leaning with a shoulder against the wall, hand in a pocket - the concerned glint in his eyes never went away. Wearing a similar fit to the one when you first met him, Sunwoo was still as handsome as ever. Instead of a t-shirt, he wore a fitting turtleneck, a cropped blazer that made him seem even broader, and those damn leather pants with silver accessories adorned his hands, ears, and neck.  
His slightly bronzer skin compared to others seemed to glow. A feature of him you would never be sick of admiring. 
“Are you going to keep staring at me in silence?” Your lips quirked up before taking a sip from the drink, the taste of it getting your mood up. 
“Not if you say what’s bothering you.”
“What makes you think there is?”
Sunwoo snorts. “I walked passed you earlier and you didn’t even notice.”
Glancing at the coffee in your hand. “And you went to get me coffee?”
“I thought you needed something to cheer you up.”
So you gave in. “Just creative differences with the director here. My manager is taking care of it.”
Sunwoo hummed in understanding. “But are you okay?”
His brows were furrowed, those lips you could never ignore pulled into the slightest pout. Swallowing your nerves you stepped even closer. Sunwoo straightened up at the proximity but not moving away. He waited for you. 
“Can I hug you?” Your whisper practically melted him as everything about him softened. 
“Of course.”
Without hesitation, you put the cup down on the bench before snaking your arms around his slim waist, face tucked into the hollow of his neck and shoulder, and breathed him in. 
The aroma of ground coffee beans and subtle vanilla, all wrapped up in notes of sweet fruits and blended spices of sandalwood and sage; a scent you would forever associate with him from this moment.
Sunwoo’s arms wrapped around you, hand gently stroking your back as you relished in the comfort he was providing. A feeling you had missed immensely. 
You were falling, and there was nothing to stop you from being completely consumed by the orbit that was Kim Sunwoo.
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Sunwoo was mesmerized. 
Quite frankly frozen to his spot in the dressing room, standing in the middle of the room, drink forgotten in hand as he stared at the screen where you were currently one of the last performers. 
Fair enough, he wasn’t exactly old, still young at the age of twenty-three, and being one of the youngest in his group he was often reminded of it. But he wasn’t ignorant. Especially not enough to ignore the fact he had fallen easily and quickly down the rabbit hole that was Y/N of BTS. 
Where everyone else saw the star quality encasing your every being, he managed to see past it. Your shyness that you often hid behind the pretense of a bold personality when faced with strangers. Sunwoo could see how you were struggling to be by yourself on stages where you used to be with seven others and had quite quickly used his presence as a comfort to chase your struggles away. 
And he had happily complied. It started with texting until he crossed that line by calling you one evening after a scheduled music show where neither had managed to talk, but craved to. 
After several of nights of calling each other, you surprised him one evening by turning on Facetime, sending his heart stuttering at the beautiful sight of you all barefaced in cozy pajamas under dim lighting as you settled yourself on a couch. 
Yet you still hadn’t found time to meet properly. The end-of-year season was always hectic with the amount of promotions and award shows that went on, especially for his group. Making that long-awaited date having to be put on pause. 
Sunwoo didn’t even expect you to attend after that fiasco of a recording earlier in the month until he woke up to a text this morning from you letting him know, with an unwritten hope to find some time to meet.
“Sunwoo’s in love.” A jest from one of his members snapped him out of the stupor as he simply rolled his eyes with a smirk, playing off the words even though they made him sweat. 
If only his members knew the truth. 
“She’s amazing.” Another compliment followed by several others as his members fell into a light discussion about you and your well-known ability to control a stage and make people pay attention by a single note of your voice. All that without the help of your members. 
Sunwoo felt like the clock was dragging by - his energy and hope diminishing with each minute while pretending he was okay around everyone. The award show was nearing its end, with you closing it before all performers would meet for the closing stage. 
He must have been one of the first members out the door when the call to gather was announced. His casual eagerness was enough to catch the curious attention of a few members, but he did the best he could to act his normal self. 
The stage was packed with the dozens of groups and performances that had joined for the event. Sunwoo made sure to stay close to his group, but he also couldn’t help the way his eyes kept searching for someone in particular. He had caught glimpses of you walking around the stage waving at fans, but also greeting artists who were eager to say hi. 
You were keeping close to your labelmates, TXT, laughing and smiling with them openly with an arm looped around Yeonjun’s like an older sister. Sunwoo would be lying if he didn’t feel jealous seeing you act so openly affectionate with them, but he reined in the green monster quickly. 
He barely managed to reign in his shock when squished amid the crowd as everyone tried to leave the stage and a familiar hand wrapped itself around his own with a quick squeeze before letting go again. Sunwoo saw your back as you walked away in front of him, still beside TXT. 
You never gave any indication it had happened besides the barest of glances over your shoulder. 
The next time Sunwoo managed to see you was by being dragged quite forcefully into a cleaning supply closet as the door closed behind him with a thump and lock turning.
He huffed out a laugh as you stood before him, a guilty grin painted on your lips. 
“Was that a bit too rough?”
“It was perfect.” Sunwoo continued to chuckle and finally took you in. 
The two of you were matching in black, his an assemble of leather and silver accents, whereas you were all sparkling sheer fabric with thigh-high stilettos and matching mini skirt. Jesus fuck. 
 His throat bobbed as his male mind caught up to what was happening: standing in a small-sized closet in dim lighting, with you only inches away from him dressed like actual sin. 
“Do you think they’ll notice?” You asked worried, gnawing on your lower lip. His gaze zeroed on the action. 
“My members definitely have, but they’ll think I probably ran off to the bathroom.”
“We won’t have long then.” The downturned vision of glossy lips made him lick his own, in anticipation or nerves, Sunwoo wasn’t sure. 
He could hear and feel everything now. The sound of your breaths, the rising of your chest, and the heat of your skin only a fingertip away from his touch. You must have caught on to the same desire because you finally looked at him - as in thoroughly looking, doing an appraisal of him from head to toe with a sly tilt to your head, eyes lingering on the cropped fabric of his shirt - lips pulling up into a smile. 
Someone was clearly not feeling shy anymore. He didn’t know if it was a good thing for him. 
“-can I kiss you, noona?” Sunwoo cut off any words you wanted to say. And you didn’t seem all that surprised. “I need to kiss you. actually.”
“Need to, huh?” You were clearly very amused by his words. “Then who am I to stop you?” 
Oh yeah. Definitely a dangerous turn for his sanity. 
“You’re such a tease.” Sunwoo couldn’t help but mutter as he hauled you against him firmly, cutting off your giggle with his lips which turned into a pleased sigh.
Your arms reached up to wrap around his neck, pressed up against each other down to your hips as you raked your nails through his scalp causing a shudder and a groan to leave him. 
Sunwoo kissed you enthusiastically but slowly, seemingly on a mission to memorize every single crevice in your mouth, those plumb lips feeling even softer on your own. He turned your bodies around, never separating from your mouth when he suddenly bent only to pick you up. 
You squeaked in surprise, pulling back momentarily only to be pushed even firmer against the door, your legs spreading to accommodate him between your thighs, your skirt scrunching up. 
That all melted away as you let out a soft moan as Sunwoo finally sucked on your tongue, humming against you with a smirk tugging in the corner of his mouth. He moved away, to the corner of your lips, behind your ear, and down to your neck - wet kisses and his tongue making you pant as your thighs squeezed around his hips. 
Your fingers that were already in his hair tightened their grip even further, holding him against you where he was kissing your neck with a breathless whine and Sunwoo only chuckled at your reaction. 
Honestly, you hadn’t expected him to pick you up just like that. But no part of you was certainly complaining by the turn of events. 
He was more than ready to go further, you noticed. And to be fair, so were you. So strung up with your nerves desperate to find release in any kind that you could have fucked him right in this closet. If it weren’t for the time and place. 
Manvouring Sunwoo’s face back up, you only got a glimpse of his flushed appearance, lidded eyes, and swollen lips before you kissed him again. This time much slower, trying your damn best to calm both of you down. 
Your feet found the ground again, Sunwoo leaning in over you with both hands cupping the back of your neck almost too gently, but a hold that you couldn’t help but rest into. 
It was a struggle to separate, he found out. Pulling back but always needing to dip back in for another kiss or peck. He did it so many times that you ended up laughing. 
“Fuck, I can’t seem to let you go,” Sunwoo murmured, thumb caressing your cheek softly as your eyes sparkled up at him. 
“It’s not the last time.” You assured him, leaning in to press your lips against his neck for a little teasing touch as you smirked in satisfaction feeling him shudder before nuzzling close. 
“I know…” He sighed heavily, obviously not wanting to leave, but the clock was ticking. And the more time they spent lost in each other’s arms would make everyone else around them more suspicious. 
So with a heavy heart and frankly, half a boner - Sunwoo pushed himself away so you could open the door. He took the lead, peeling it open slowly and looking both ways to see it was surprisingly sparse with only a couple of staff on the other end. 
You held onto his hand from behind him, sneaking out slowly as the door clicked shut. From there both of you rushed to where your dressing rooms were - you only being a few doors down from him. 
Just as the sign of The Boyz were in view, Yoo-Mi, your manager came out of your door and freezing both to the spot. 
Sunwoo cursed, body tensing beside you, but he was assured quickly to see the almost entertained smirk on the older woman’s face as she waltzed in their direction. 
“Unnie.” You greeted her sheepishly, never letting go of his hand. You actually moved closer as Sunwoo bowed in greeting. 
“Not a crush, huh?” That was all Yoo-Mi said before shaking her head and moving on. “I’m going toilet, be quick, we’re leaving soon.”
Then they were alone again. Slowly glancing at each other, Sunwoo bit down on his lip before snorting out a laugh with you following with a low laugh. 
“That went well.” He grinned. 
“We really have to go now,” You gave a pointed look at their intertwined hands. 
“Yeah…” His grin didn’t fall as his large hands gently gripped your hips and pulled you closer. You hardly had the power to resist him. “Goodbye kiss?”
“You will be the death of me, Kim Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo leaned down with a mischievous tilt to his mouth, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “But you would love that, noona.”
Leaning up you sealed the kiss softly, hands resting on his chest only to flinch apart the very next second. 
“Yah Kim Sunw-!”
Q or Changmin stood in the open doorway with his mouth dropped open, only for the two of them to realize they had placed themselves directly in front of The Boyz’ dressing room.
Giving a complete view of both of them to everyone inside as heavy silence fell. 
Well. There went the secrecy.
“What…the hell?” 
Simultaneously taking in the jaw-dropped expressions of his members. You and Sunwoo couldn’t hold back your nearly manic cackles as you fell into him for support.
“Am I dreaming?” Someone wondered out loud in English. 
If this was a dream, then you would never want to wake up. 
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Thank you for reading!
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