#i love him with her all my heart that poor traumatized burnt boy

[slightly-hellish]

So my hot-take fanon of the week is this.

A lot of people say Dabi/Touya does not want kids, because ✨daddy issues✨

I honestly believe the opposite, I think the compulsion to out do Endeavor includes the idea of having kids, he knows it’s not a good idea, but that doesn’t stop him from wanting it.

To be the dad he never had. He doesn’t know the first thing about parenting (obv) but he does know what not to do.

Not saying he would be the best Dad in the world but he would try his damndest. He would do everything he wished he could’ve done with his dad, giving his kid(s) a fun time while healing his own inner child.

He’d definitely be one of those dads that is like the wife/baby mama/ s/o has a adult child. He’d be just as dumb as the kids, and they’d all get in to trouble like ‘fuck mom is gonna kill me’ causing the kid(s) to giggle themselves half to death.

He wouldn’t care about how powerful their quirks were, or if they even had any, he’d love them no matter what and would in a second jump to burn the world for his family. The family he chose and that chose him.

just my two cents tho.

smutty p.s : totally has a breeding kink, man stuffs you like a Twinkie and you can’t tell me otherwise. possible breastfeeding kink, cus you know mans also has mommy issues. (same tho)

i’d literally die for him.

[meowmerson]

hi meowmers! just read your latest tomione fics and i'm so glad you're back here blessing us. would love to read your take on head boy & head girl tomione fic? or maybe an au where auror! hermione chases after dark wizard tom riddle

head boy head girl you say??????????????? one of my favorite tropes you say????????????????????????? I ACCEPT

–

Hermione knew it would be him. He was top of their class (a title she had been battling against him for since their first year) beloved by their professors and classmates, he was a natural-born leader, handsome, likable - it would have been outrageous for head boy to be anyone other than him.

Didn’t mean she had to like it.

Hermione always found something suspicious about Tom Riddle. She was certain she was the only one who thought so, save for maybe Harry, but then Harry was easily won over when people were kind to him. And Tom Riddle certainly went out of his way to be kind.

But he was mysterious. No one really knew where he was from - everyone knew he was an orphan, but no one knew how, or where he lived now. Everyone just thought he was a poor tortured soul and that those things should never be mentioned.

He had a close circle of friends who followed his every command and cowered in the face of his glare. She had seen Malfoy once laughing and subsequently cowering from nothing but a look from Tom Riddle, nothing more than a glance, and suddenly Malfoy was swallowing his laughter and averting his eyes to the ground. Malfoy didn’t do that for anybody.

How could someone so allegedly kind strike that kind of fear into someone’s heart with nothing more than a glance?

He was fake, she had decided. He was nothing more than secrets upon secrets shrouded beneath a pretty face, a friendly smile, an intelligent mind. But there was something there, beneath the surface. Something secret, something dark.

And Hermione never liked liars.

“Would you just admit you want to ride his dick til you pass out so we can move on?” Lavender drawled from her bed in the Gryffindor seventh year room.

Hermione sputtered for a solid thirty seconds while Padma and Parvati absolutely killed themselves laughing. Ginny, who was lounging on Padma’s bed while the twins lay together on Parvati’s, stared at Hermione awaiting her reaction with unrelenting glee.

“Lavender!” Hermione finally managed to choke out, bringing on another round of obnoxious laughter from the girls.

“Oh come on, Hermione,” Lavender said, “You have wanted to hop on that since first year!”

“I have absolutely no idea what you are–”

“Oh, look at him Hermione!” Ginny said, “That boy is sex on legs,”

“Whether or not he is sex on legs is not the point!” Hermione snapped, “Have you been listening to anything I’m saying? I have to share a living quarters with a boy who–”

“So you admit he’s sex on legs then?” Lavender interrupted.

“Ugh!” Hermione pushed herself to her feet, “I am finished with this conversation. I’m leaving.”

“Make sure you get back before curfew starts,” Padma said, and Parvati added, “Or Riddle will need to punish you!”

“Fuck all of you!” Hermione swore, and the uncharacteristically foul language sent the girls into another round of laughter.

–

She tried to speak to Harry and Ron.

Ron said, “Ah, this is about how badly you want to snog Riddle then, is it?”

Harry laughed, and Hermione picked up the bottle of firewhiskey they had snuck in and poured it out the window as revenge.

–

She put off returning to the common room as long as she could. Guiding the first years around had been alright, mostly because they split up those responsibilities and didn’t take them together, but they would be doing rounds tonight, together, just the two of them, then returning to the Head’s common together.

It all felt very strange.

Tom was stood outside the portrait to their common room when she arrived. “You’re nearly late.” He said.

“Nearly,” Hermione agreed, “But not quite.”

“Meeting up with your friends?” He asked as they started down the hall. He always did this, attempted friendly conversation, as if they were familiar enough to do so. She nodded curtly. “Did you meet up with any of them over the summer?”

“No,” She answered. She didn’t elaborate.

“Ah,” He replied, seemingly nonplussed, “It must be nice to catch up, then.”

When would this torture end?

“Yes, it is.” Hermione agreed.

“And did you have a nice summer?” He asked.

She glanced toward him, but looked away before she caught his eye. He was peering around the corridor, keeping an eye out for any students out after curfew or first years who had gotten lost. She wondered what he was playing at, why he was trying to make friendly conversation. What did he have to gain, here? What did he want?

“Miss Granger?” He pressed.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you had a nice summer.” She looked toward him again, and this time his eyes were fixed on her.

“Did you?” She asked, just to see the twitch in his brow in response. He did that sometimes, little ticks to show that his endless patience wasn’t really so endless. She loved to see it, see those glances into whoever he was behind his mask of perfection.

“Yes.” It was the shortest response he’d given her that night.

“Oh,” She said, and offered him a strained smile, “Yes, I did.”

He didn’t speak to her for the remainder of the evening, except for a polite ‘have a good night’ when they returned to the common room.

It felt like a win

–

They split up rounds, after that. They worked on a one night on, one night off schedule, trading off. It wasn’t typical for head boy and girl to do this, but Hermione had suggested it, and Tom hadn’t argued.

He never did, she found out. He had debated her countless times in class, but they had never had a personal conversation before this year, and it seemed no matter what she said, what she suggested, he tended to agree.

She didn’t understand what he was up to.

Her friends wouldn’t stop relentlessly teasing her, and wouldn’t listen to a single one of her suspicions. And why would they? She didn’t have anything to go on, just this feeling in her gut.

Maybe it was just an issue of attraction.

He was handsome, certainly, and extremely intelligent. He impressed her, and it had been a while since she had met someone who genuinely impressed her. He had a way with people that she always lacked, everyone liked him, maybe it was jealousy. Or maybe it was the way she had so often caught herself thinking about him over the year, wondering what it would be like to know him, for him to know her.

Was this feeling nothing but her own convoluted emotions making her over paranoid?

Living in close quarters to Tom was easy. He kept to himself, didn’t invite anyone over, she would only see him if he was reading in front of the fireplace in their shared common area. She never saw him up to no good, never heard strange noises or saw strange things. He was perfectly normal, perfectly good, perfectly perfect.

She was beginning to doubt herself.

“You know,” Harry told her once, “I thought I hated Draco for ages until I realized I just like blokes.”

“But you also hated Draco,” She reminded him.

“True,” He agreed, and shrugged, as if that didn’t really matter.

–

It was her turn for rounds, and she was dutifully making her way through her assigned route. It was a quiet night, she hadn’t run into any first-years sneaking around the castle, or third-years finding their way to the kitchens, or sixth-years hooking up in abandoned classrooms. She was grateful especially for the last one, she hated stumbling upon that.

She was about ready to finish, head back up to her room and go to bed, when she saw the slightest glow under a classroom door.

It only lasted for a moment before it was gone, like a candle being burnt out, or a spell being cast. She crept toward the door, it was probably a couple of naked teenagers again, trying to get their rocks off in the potions classroom. She pressed her ear against the door to see if she needed to knock or if she could barge in.

She could hear nothing.

She moved away, furrowed her brow. There was definitely someone in there, but they put up a silencing charm. Definitely a couple. She went to open the door, it was locked. So she cast an Alohomora, and to her surprise, nothing happened.

Something icy settled in her stomach. She could only think of one person that she could imagine casting such advanced locking charms. But it wasn’t his night for patrols, and she thought he was in his room.

She was being paranoid. She knew she should knock and demand whoever is in there comes out immediately, deduct house points for being out late and finish her rounds. She shouldn’t be overdramatic about this, lest she look like a fool.

She blew up the lock and removed the silencing charm.

She heard a boy yelp as she pushed the door open. There was a bit of smoke from the exploded lock that had to clear before she could see what was going on inside the room.

Malfoy stood inside, his eyes wide and wet, and Tom stood opposite, looking like he was trying very hard not to look angry.

“What is going on in here?”

“Miss Granger,” Tom said calmly, “Was blowing the lock truly necessary?”

“Was locking and silencing the room truly necessary?” She replied, but she was quickly distracted by Malfoy. He looked terrified, he was blinking rapidly, his eyes wet, and he was shaking like a leaf. She glanced between the two of them, Malfoy looking traumatized, and Tom looking the picture of poise, his eyes locked on her.

She wondered what could have been happening before she opened that door.

“Are you alright?” She asked Malfoy quietly.

“Draco sometimes has nightmares,” Tom answered, “It’s not something he is particularly open about. I was trying to give him a space to calm down with a bit of privacy.”

Hermione watched Tom for a long moment, examined the friendly tilt of his lips into an almost-smile,  the gentle tone of his voice. He was for all intents and purposes, a dedicated friend.

Hermione wasn’t buying it. “I asked Malfoy.” She said.

Something changed in Tom’s expression then, something she hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t just the twitch of his eyebrow or a slight, barely present frown. His whole face went startlingly blank, and his eyes became sharp. She had never seen his eyes like that, focused and intense.

She looked back to Malfoy, who stared back and forth between them with wide eyes. “Malfoy.” She repeated.

He looked at Tom first, who met his gaze. Malfoy then looked back to her, and finally spoke, “Yes,” He said, and the breathiness of his voice made Hermione wonder what had been happening before she interrupted. Did people really sound like this just from crying from a nightmare? “I get night-terrors. Tom was simply calming me down.”

Hermione didn’t like the way Tom turned back to her with a smile. “If you don’t mind, Ms. Granger,” He said, “I’ll take care of Malfoy.”

Malfoy had not stopped shaking.

“I can take him back to his common room,” Hermione said, “It isn’t your night for rounds, Mr. Riddle.”

“I would rather Tom takes me back to the common room.” Malfoy interjected.

There was nothing more Hermione could do then, except look sadly at the state Malfoy was in and ask, “Are you sure, Draco?”

She used his first name on purpose. Malfoy blinked at her, and Tom turned his head slowly to look at her as she said it. She didn’t look at Riddle, kept her eyes on Malfoy and waited for his response.

He nodded, so there was nothing else she could do.

“Fine,” She nodded, and didn’t look at Riddle when she added, “Take him straight back to his common room, it’s after curfew and I don’t want to have to deduct house points.”

“Of course, Hermione,” Tom said.

It was the first time he ever used her first name.

–

Hermione didn’t see Tom that night, and she left her room early that morning.

She didn’t see him until breakfast.

“I need to tell you something,” She said to Harry and Ron, “Something I saw last night.”

“What is it?” Ron said through a mouth full of food.

She looked around the Great Hall. Tom Riddle hadn’t made his appearance yet, but Malfoy was at the Slytherin table. He looked normal, his typical haughty self, it was as if last night had never happened. But Hermione couldn’t chake the memory of his expression, frightened and shaking like a leaf.

“I was doing my rounds,” She said, looking back to Ron and Harry who were listening closely, “And I walked in on Riddle and Malfoy.”

“Doing what?” Harry asked.

“I’m not sure,” Hermione said, “They were in the potions classroom and had a silencing charm and complicated locking charm on the door.”

“Doing what, though?” Ron pressed.

“I don’t know!” Hermione protested, “I can’t imagine what they could have been doing, but–”

“Were they fucking?” Ron asked outright.

Hermione sputtered for a moment, “No!” She said, “Well, I–I don’t think so. No. Malfoy looked terrified.” She thought of the two of them, standing there, Riddle’s calm stance, Malfoy’s wide, wet eyes. “No, definitely not. I blew the lock and walked in unannounced and they weren’t even touching, no clothes askew.”

“Wait,” Harry interjected, “You blew the lock?”

“Yes.” Hermione confirmed.

“Bloody hell,” Ron said, “Why’d you do that?”

“I couldn’t unlock it.” Hermione shrugged, not understanding the fuss. “That’s not the point.”

“So what did they say?” Harry asked.

“They said something about Malfoy having nightmares,” Hermione sighed, “That he needed to calm down, and Tom was helping him.”

Ron shrugged, “Sounds believable to me.”

“Does it?” Hermione asked, astounded, “Does it actually?”

“Yeah, why not?” Ron asked, and commenced shoveling food into his face again, “They’re friends, aren’t they?”

“Riddle doesn’t have friends,” Hermione protested, “Have you ever heard him call anyone by their first name? Have you ever seen him spending time with someone outside what is absolutely necessary?” She didn’t miss Ron rolling his eyes, but she ignored it, “Something was going on, I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure what.”

“What does Malfoy have nightmares about?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know, Harry!” Hermione replied, exasperated, “That’s not the point.”

“The point is,” Ron said through another mouthful, “Hermione is pissed her boyfriend was canoodling with another guy.”

“Ronald.” Hermione said sternly.

“Hermione.”

That wasn’t Ron. That wasn’t Harry. Hermione looked up to see Tom Riddle stood behind her two best friends, a small, friendly smile on his face. Ron’s eyes practically bulged out of his skull when he turned to see who was behind him, and he turned back to Hermione to raise his eyebrows and she knew what he was trying to say to her without words, ‘he calls you Hermione, huh?’

“Riddle.” She greeted, pointedly avoiding his first name.

“I was hoping I could speak to you.” Tom said.

“No.” Hermione replied, secretly delighted by the slight falter in his smile, “I’m in the middle of a conversation.”

“We just finished, actually!” Harry chirped, smiling at Tom and then turning back to Hermione, “Go ahead, ‘Mione. It’s fine.”

She wanted to kill Harry.

“Fine.” She said, and stood slowly, “We can talk.”

“Excellent.” Tom said.

They were on opposite sides of the long table, and the distance from where she was sat to the main door of the great hall felt like a funeral procession. She glanced toward him, over the heads of the students at the Gryffindor table. He looked straight ahead, his hands clasped behind his back, his head held high. He had excellent posture and a perfect mask. It felt dreamlike, walking alongside him with only a table full of oblivious students between them.

Once outside the Great Hall, Tom walked beside Hermione until they reached a relatively quiet corridor. It was lined with windows that overlooked the courtyard. Sunlight streamed in, and they stopped in the light of one of the windows, but Tom stood just outside of the sunlight.

She waited for him to speak.

“You blew the lock off the door.” Was the first thing he said. She didn’t understand why everyone was so hung up on that.

“Yes.” She confirmed, “You cast very complicated locking spells.”

He smiled tightly, “We wanted privacy.”

“What for?” She asked.

He paused, examined her for a quiet moment. Hermione wasn’t sure what he hoped to find, but he stared into her eyes for what felt like a very, very long time before speaking again, “Forgive me to saying so, Hermione,” He used her name again. She didn’t know why he did that. “But you seem suspicious of me.”

“Is there something I should be suspicious of?” She asked.

“I certainly don’t think so,” He laughed, “I told you the truth last night, I’m sorry if it appeared suspicious.”

“Why was he so afraid of you?” She tipped her chin up, tried to search his eyes for some kind of answer like he seemed to try to do with her.

He laughed, “Hermione,” He said her name again, she felt something uncomfortable coil in her gut, “He was not afraid of me. I don’t believe anyone has any reason to be afraid of me.”

She didn’t believe him. That was the strangest thing about all of this - despite his nice smile and his kind words, she couldn’t find it within herself to believe him no matter how she tried. But it would do no good to say so, so she looked away and said, “Of course. Forgive me, I’m a bit on edge.”

“Are you alright, Hermione?” He asked, “Is there anything I can do?”

You can stop lying to my fucking face, she thought. But she just smiled tightly and shook her head.

He reached out, gently laid his hands on her arm, and it took everything in herself not to flinch. “Let me know if you need anything.” He said kindly, “Perhaps we can start doing rounds together?”

She didn’t like the idea of spending any more time around him than absolutely necessary. But then she didn’t like the idea of him galavanting around Hogwarts at night, either. At least this way she could keep an eye on him.

“Alright,” She agreed, “Let’s do that.”

He smiled, and let his hand linger just a moment too long on her arm.

–

Hermione cornered Malfoy in the library.

“Draco,” She greeted, sitting down across from him where he was reading. He looked up, and promptly blanched.

“What the fuck do you want, Granger?” He snapped.

“Just checking in.” She said, “How are you feeling?”

He stared at her for a very long time, a sneer steadily spreading across his face. “Fine.” He spat.

“No more nightmares?” She pressed.

There was a split second, barely there at all, where his brows started to press together, and he looked confused. It was gone in a flash, and he averted his eyes and followed along, but it was all Hermione needed to know she was right. “Yeah, nightmares…” He agreed, “I’m fine, Riddle helped.”

She leaned closer, folding her arms on the table in front of her. “But it wasn’t really a nightmare, was it?”

Malfoy grit his teeth. “What are you on about?”

“It wasn’t a nightmare,” Hermione repeated, “It was something else, right?” Malfoy was glaring fiercely at her now, “What happened to you in there? Why were you so scared?”

“Granger,” He started, and it sounded like a warning. Hermione ignored it.

“What did he do to you?” She pressed, “Malfoy, if you tell me, I can help you.”

Abruptly, Malfoy slammed his hands on the table and stood. He leaned toward her, and in a quiet tone, he furiously spoke, “I have never once asked for help from a mudblood,” Hermione sat back, the word sinking deep into her chest. She blinked once and willed herself not to show how it bothered her, “And I won’t start now.”

She stood and slammed her hand down on his book, let her magic seep out through her fingertips to set it on fire.

She left him there, frantically stamping out the flames, and felt foolish for caring.  

–

She was studying in the heads common room. She didn’t usually do that, opting to study in her room instead, but she wanted a change in scenery, so she sat on the floor of the common room by the fire, taking in its warmth and focusing on her coursebook.

She didn’t expect Tom to sit in the chair across from her by the fire.

She glanced up, and saw he was staring at her intently. He hadn’t greeted her yet, just stared. It was evening time, and the room was dark except for the fire. She watched the glow play along his features, and felt something strange in her belly.

“Hello, Riddle.” She greeted first, because he wasn’t saying anything yet.

“Hermione.” He greeted, and smiled a small, private smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” She answered, “Why?”

“I heard about your conversation with Malfoy.” He explained, and she felt herself go cold despite the warmth of the fire.

She didn’t answer. She wasn’t sure what she was meant to say.

He pursed his lips for a moment, then moved from the chair to sit on the ground across from her. “Hermione,” He said quietly, “I heard about what he called you.”

She suddenly felt very confused. She thought he would ask why she was still asking about him, still acting like he was suspicious. She couldn’t fathom why he, a Slytherin who had absolutely used that word before, would be concerned because someone called her a mudblood.

It wasn’t precisely that it didn’t bother her. It did. Every time someone called her by that name it made her feel angry, upset, ashamed, all at the same time. But she was used to it, to some extent.

“He’s called me that before,” She finally answered, “I know you’ve used that word before.”

“Not against you.” He argued.

A strange argument, because it hardly mattered who he used it against.

“Regardless,” She continued, “You’re hardly in a position to comfort me if someone calls me a horrible name.” His brow twitched, “Besides, it isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last. I’m fine.”

“I’ve spoken to him,” Tom said, “He won’t call you that again.”

She felt well and truly lost. She couldn’t hide the confusion on her face even if she tried.

“Shouldn’t you be more concerned with other parts of our conversation?” She asked.

It was a foolish thing to ask him, but she couldn’t help herself.

He laughed, glanced away for a moment to look into the fire. Hermione found herself unwillingly fixating on the glow of his cheeks, the slope of his nose, the way the firelight danced in his dark eyes and made them glow red.

“Do you know what I think, Hermione?” He asked, still looking into the fire. She didn’t answer, and after a moment he looked back at her, and there was something in his gaze that made her stomach twist. “I think there are better things we could be doing than fighting each other.”

Hermione suddenly found herself rather short of breath. There was no mistaking what he was implying, his tone of voice and the weight of his eyes made it very clear. Though for all of the female attention Tom Riddle received, she had never heard of him being so forward. Quite the opposite - she had often heard girls bemoaning the fact that Tom was so standoffish, refused to make a move or pursue anyone, was nothing but a perfect gentleman at all times.

He was trying to distract her, she thought. It was the only explanation. He was trying to take her mind off of things that he didn’t want her to be thinking of.

She wondered…

She set her book aside, leaned toward him slowly. There was no sound except for the crackling of the fire. She watched his eyes as she leaned toward him, closer and closer until there were only a few inches between them. He watched her, sat as still as a statue. She paused, left a breath of space between them and watched his expression, but he showed no emotion.

Quietly, she spoke, and as she did, his eyes fell to her lips, “I would love to know what it is you think we should be doing, Tom Riddle.”

His eyes met hers again, impossibly dark. She didn’t notice he lifted his hand until she felt his fingers drag gently up her arm. He didn’t move closer, he left that decision entirely up to her. Clever, she thought. To let her believe she is entirely in control, to ease any thoughts of suspicions that he should be hiding something by distracting her but making it feel like it is her decision.

Briefly, she did consider the possibility of going through with it. It would grant easy access to his bedroom, and she could surely find all sorts of things in there to clear some of his mystery. But there was no guarantee she would have a moment in there without his watchful eye, and she felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought of sleeping with someone to get what she wanted.

She wasn’t like him.

She could feel the heat of him, as strong as the fire, blazing against her chest. She was struck by the uncomfortable thought that some part of her, buried beneath the suspicion and frustration and anger, would like to kiss him. It made her angry, the way some parts of him seemed to call to her, it made her deeply uncomfortable that the thought of being with him made her stomach twist with anticipation.

It especially infuriated her that all of this was only a show. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that someone like Tom Riddle - intelligent, poised, enigmatic, Slytherin - would never look at her that way. He must think her a fool to fall for something as simple as this, to trip over herself because he gives her an iota of attention.

Hermione tilted her head. He still hadn’t moved. She found it fascinating, the way he held himself so still, allowing her to make all the moves. Somehow she doubted someone like him, someone capable of instilling os much fear in his friends, would be so submissive in matters like this.

“How stupid do you think I am?” She asked, breaking the silence with nothing more than a whisper. He blinked, a slight pinch to the centre of his brow. “What kind of simpering fool do you take me for?”

His hand dropped. “Hermione,” He started, but she caught his hand by the wrist and he fell silent once more.

“Perhaps next time,” Hermione spat, “We can come from a place of mutual respect, rather than pretending I am like every other person you have ever seduced, intimidated, or threatened into doing what you want.” His face was carefully blank, but he didn’t interrupt, he didn’t move, didn’t even pull his hand away. “You can start by telling me what was happening with Malfoy the other night, and then perhaps I can withstand your present long enough to have a conversation.”

He didn’t say anything, so Hermione turned to pick up her book and began to stand. Tom Riddle caught her by her wrist before she could get far, so quick and so sudden that he startled her. She dropped her book as he pulled her back down, and in a tone sounding very unlike him he spoke.

“How about we start with you telling me something,” He said, and she noted his voice was higher when he was angry, sharper, more cutting. It wasn’t a nice sound, not like the way his voice usually sounded. “Why do you care so much about what happens to Malfoy?”

“So you admit it?” She pressed, “Something happened to Malfoy?”

“Don’t you know that he hates you?” He spat, and this version of him was so different than any version of him she had seen before. She took in every inch of him, the downward curl of his sneer, the slight wrinkle of his nose, the cutting gaze, the slope of his brow. There was even a slight flush to his cheeks, a sign of life that she hadn’t even noticed wasn’t there before. “More than he hates Potter, more than he hates anyone, he hates you. He find you repulsive, dirty—“

“I have never cared what Malfoy thinks of me and I won’t start now.” She interrupted.

“Then why do you give a shit about what happens to him behind closed doors?” His grip on her wrist was bruising, but she wouldn’t flinch. This was the most brutal, honest display he had ever shared with her, and she wouldn’t miss a moment, wouldn’t shy away, not now when she was getting exactly what she asked for.

“Because it doesn’t matter how much of a bigoted arsehole someone is,” Hermione spoke through gritted teeth, “Doesn’t mean they deserve to be tortured.”

It surprised even her when she said it. She wasn’t sure what precisely it was she suspected when she found Malfoy shaking and terrified in that room with Riddle, hadn’t thought on the details too much. But it made sense to her somehow that someone so perfect and so poised, so falsely kind, could only be capable of horrible, unspeakable things.

Tom’s face closed off immediately, and any and all emotions she had been rewarded with was suddenly gone. His eyes went blank, cold, and a dead smile stretched across his lips. “Oh Hermione,” He murmured, “What a dark imagination you have.”

She snatched her wrist out of his grip, and realized a moment after he did that her hands were shaking. His eyes followed the movement of her hands as she picked up her book and pressed it against her chest.

“I’m not so easily fooled, Riddle,” She said as she stood, “You can deny it all you want, but we both know I’m right.”

“You always are, aren’t you?” He asked, his tone mocking, looking up at her from his place on the ground.

Such a strange and unusual stalemate, she thought, standing her him while he stared up at her with cold, emotionless eyes. She was too quick to call him out, it was too sudden, and because of that they were back to square one. He hadn’t admitted it, but he hadn’t denied it, and he hadn’t lashed out at her either. She might’ve expected more anger in light of her accusations, but he just sat there, the picture of ease, staring up at her as if he had nothing to worry about.

She didn’t say anything in return, instead she stormed to her room, shut the door, and cast three separate locking charms.

She didn’t sleep well that night.

—

Hermione wasn’t sure what she expected the following morning, but seeing Tom Riddle waiting for her on the couch in the common room stopped her in her tracks.

“Hermione,” He greeted.

“Riddle,” She replied, pointedly refusing to use his first name. “What do you want?”

“I’d like to walk you to the Great Hall.” He answered, standing smoothly. She narrowed her eyes.

“Why?” She asked.

“Because I’d like to show you something.” He answered vaguely.

She didn’t like this, it gave her an uncomfortable feeling, but she wasn’t sure what else she could do. If she resorted to violence, its more than likely people would side with Riddle. Running away would do no good, as they went to school together, shared multiple classes, and slept in rooms next to each other. Not to mention, the idea of running away felt cowardly as well as foolish.

She sighed through her nose and nodded, approaching him with measured steps. He held his arm out to her with a smile as if to guide her, and she ignored it.

They walked in silence. He didn’t try to speak to her and she had no interest in speaking to him. She paid close attention to the corridors, trying to see if any of his friends were lurking about, ready to jump her. She kept a hand on her wand at all times, ready for anything, but nothing happened.

When they neared the Great Hall, she saw a head of white blonde hair lurking outside the entrance. She glanced at Tom momentarily, then looked ahead, tightening her grip on her wand.

Malfoy straightened as they approached, and Hermione readied herself for…for what, she wasn’t sure. It seemed foolish to start something right outside the great hall, and Malfoy didn’t have his wand in hand. His eyes were trained on the floor as they neared him, and he didn’t look up.

“Malfoy.” Tom greeted.

“Riddle,” Malfoy returned, and then more quietly, “Granger.”

Hermione had no idea what was happening, even less so when Malfoy squared his shoulders and spoke.

“Granger,” He repeated, louder this time, somehow managing to sound haughty and arrogant even while his eyes were trained on her shoes, “I apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was inappropriate and uncalled for.”

Hermione was at a loss of what to say. At her extended silence, Malfoy glanced up at her, and then toward Tom. His eyes quickly fell to the ground again, and to Hermione’s utter shock, he lowered his head in what was almost a bow.

She had seen purebloods do this often, mostly to their elders, bow their heads in respect. They rarely did it to anyone on their level, classmates or colleagues, and certainly never did it to muggleborns. “Please, forgive me.” Malfoy said.

Hermione turned her head slowly to look at Tom, who was watching Malfoy with a blank expression, but something dance in his eyes, something almost gleeful.

She turned her head back to see Malfoy, head still bowed. “I forgive you.” She said quietly, and watched the way his shoulders sag, like he was expecting differently.

He straightened, tipped his chin up and nodded before heading into the Great Hall. Hermione watched the empty space where he had just stood.

Tom started to move, but Hermione caught his arm before he could enter the Great Hall. “What in Merlin’s name was that?” She hissed.

“A gift,” He said, and stepped close to her, so close that she had to lift her chin, tip her head back to meet his eyes. “Did you like it?”

“What are you doing?” She asked quietly, and he smiled.

“You don’t like it then?” He surmised, looking like he was enjoying this far too much.

“What did you do to him to make him do that?” She snapped, keeping her voice low.

He dipped his head just a bit, and whispered, “Nothing more than he deserved,” Then he straightened up again, and continued, “Don’t you like him better this way?”

“What are you doing?” She repeated, quickly losing her temper.

Tom Riddle smiled, an unusual thing, because it wasn’t just a quirk of his lips. It was a fully-fledged smile, one that showed his teeth, dimpled his cheek. Hermione felt that smile deep in her belly, twisting and tugging, shortening her breath. “It’s time for breakfast.” Is all he said.

“I’m not eating with you.” She said, furious at how breathy her voice sounded.

“I would be surprised if you did.” He answered.

He took her gently by the arm, and it was only then she realized she had never let go of his arm. She let go as if burned, but didn’t shy away from the gentle fingers on her arm. He guided her toward the entrance to the great hall, and waited until they had entered, until they had caught the gaze of the students nearest to the entrance, before he dropped his hand and nodded his farewell, heading toward the Slytherin table.

Hermione ignored the twisting in her belly, the heat where this hand had touched her arm, and wondered what it meant that when she turned her head to peer over the heads of all the students as she walked toward her table, Tom Riddle’s eyes were still fixed on her.

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

Adamantium Spider

The title references about 85% of the story

This is a Summary turned Fanfiction and No I am not going to Edit it because I love it as is and Im also not ashamed of kinda turning Peter a bit OOC (aka like me).

I don’t recommend wasting your time on constructive criticism OR hate because I’m not taking any criticism at all this time. I’m already aware of all the horrid writing errors in this, just look past that if you can and enjoy the story I somehow weaved.

I didn’t write this story to improve, I wrote it to make me happy and to finally be practicing writing again. This was for me.

_____________________

Peter finds out that his body turns to Adamantium (making him Invincible and incredibly strong) when under Extreme Danger. That’s the unfortunate part.

Fighting a bad guy and about to get stabbed in the heart? Invincible.

About to get a Paper cut? Nope.

About to fall from 50 ft w/o parachute? Nope.

About to get hit in the face with a Dodgeball? Invincible.

“Extreme Pressure” was the only way he could describe it considering he couldn’t figure why it activates randomly.

He did get stabbed in the leg once. His only guess on that one was that there was no major arteries. Hurt like a bitch though.

So, Bubbly, Nerdy, Adorable, Energetic (and Highly Emotional) Peter Parker, aka Spiderman, was partially invincible. Both cool and terrifying.

He didn’t want to mention it to Tony or Bruce because he didn’t want to have to go through possibly painful explanations and testing.

So when ANOTHER building fell onto Peter and he came out unscathed, just saying “I’m fine, I’m fine! Not the first building to fall on me” He got in trouble.

They couldn’t figure out how he did it and he wasn’t talking so they went about it as a parent does to get their kids to eat their vegetables. Sneak it in, be observant.

Steve challenged him to a Lifting-Weights contest with Clint and Natasha spotting for them. Peter lifted 1 1/2 MORE tons than Steve.

Yet, when Clint decided he wants to have a game of tag in the vents, when Peter fell out of one of the hatches his thigh hit the corner of the living room table and began bleeding.

Next, Tony was teaching him how to make an Omelette “Tony Stark style”. When attempting to follow how Tony made it, his wrist hit the edge of the pan for a few seconds. No reaction from Peter at all. While eating breakfast Tony glanced at the kids wrist to see it with no burns.

That was the thing that Peter never noticed until Ned found out: If he didn’t know that something supposed-to-be-painful happens to his body, he didn’t feel the pain of it. Once Ned noticed and told him about it, Peter was able to sometimes willfully ignore the pain. Like when crushed by buildings.

When out in the field and Peter stopped a car accident with no issue or injury, that was another peice of the Avengers Mystery Team puzzle. What really convinced them, was when Tony asked Peter for the suit to upgrade a few things, and they all watched through Spiderman’s eyes/camera. Peter was fighting a mugger with a gun, and just stopped a bullet with his hand.

Obviously, they want to confront him about it. Albeit, slowly and calmly. All of them loved Peter, and knew he was still a Teenager. Just calling him up and then yelling would probably traumatize the poor thing.

So they would slip in a comment or two how it’d be so much easier to fight if they could catch bullets; and mention at dinner (when Tony shhhh purposefully burnt himself) that he wished he could have invincibility so he didn’t accidentally hurt himself when cooking.

Peter, being a genius, figured out very quickly they HAD to know about him. None of them (except Natasha) were good at acting, and these little things were just too random and specific to his experiences, to actually be unintentional.

After a panic attack and his wonderful wonderful (“no he isnt my boyfriend yet!” “yet, huh? Gonna ask him?” *flustered peter noises*) best friend telling him that they are more than likely trying to subtlely him know its okay, he finally gathers them to admit his secret (with Ned there if course).

Ned helps Peter explain some of the stuff with really good metaphors because Peter is extremely flustered (not that Ned wasn’t because he was in the Avenger’s living room but). After the explanation, Everyone says it’s okay and maybe they can help him hone it so he doesn’t get injured at all.

Peter and Ned are all giddy inside. Peter was going home to May and having Ned over for a sleepover so they left soon after because it was 8pm. When they got to the elevator to leave, they realized they were holding hands and both of them blushed.

They looked away from each other, but kept their fingers intertwined. Had Peter not known Stark had cameras everywhere in the tower, he might consider making a move. Instead, he went home. Ned and May always got along great. Dinner was actually delicious for once, really perfecting the day.

Once the boys were sent to bed at 9:30pm by May, they didn’t bother sleeping on different bunks. 5 minutes of just comfortable, if nervous, silence before Peter can’t handle it anymore. He says “Fuck it” in his head as he turns to Ned and kisses his cheek.

Ned’s mouth falls open and eyes widen. Peter nervously giggling at his face beside him unfreezes him. Ned turns his whole body to face Peter. Said boy flushes instantly but turns to face Ned anyway.

In the slickest move of all time (according to Peter anyway) , Ned gently grabs Peter’s lower back, pulls the tomato towards him, and kisses him on the lips. Both of them immediately got into it. Of course, they’d never kissed anyone else, so the kiss was just soft touching lips.

When they both pull back to look at each other they are both grinning ear to ear. Peter almost cried. Almost. Okay maybe a little. Ned pulled him into a hug and they soon fell asleep like that.

May woke them up the next morning after taking a few pictures. They had changed positions over night, leaving Peter starfish face down on top of Ned, but with Ned still somehow holding onto him.

May didn’t say anything to them directly- well, kind of directly. She might’ve made two half heart pancakes and gave each of the boys a half.

They look at themselves and then her with shocked faces, but May simply gave them a smile and made a little heart with her hands. “I love you both. No matter where life takes you, You will both always be in my heart.”

Peter DEFINITELY didn’t cry and May DEFINITELY didn’t squeal when Ned simply kissed Peter’s cheek and gave him a side hug. The three of them finished breakfast with happy faces, and Peter was so ready to take on the day. Now he was truly Invincible.

[nothing-personal-my-dear]

Spartacus : Vengeance Rewatch - Episode 4: Empty Hands

Sex Scene: 2 (plus lots of slave entertainment sex)

“Cock”: 3

“Cunt”: 2

“Fucking Gaul”: none because Agron doesn’t have any lines.

Slow motion Face Punch: 1

Episode Name Dropped by: Ilithyia

Memorable Death:  Acer… obviously. He deserved so much better!

Favourite Line: “They shall learn a wounded animal may yet bear teeth.”

 - I was so damn worried they were gonna step on that frog.

- I love me some foggy forests.

- I don’t get why Mira keeps moving, like stay still woman, you are trying to hide.

- I remember when I first watched this I was so mad at Naevia for running and thought she was so freaking stupid, but like that girl was traumatized. It makes total sense that she ran, it’s classic PTSD (as someone with PTSD I totally understand this reaction). I think my main issues the first time was that I was getting used to this new actor and comparing her to the s1 actor.

-  IT WAS A HISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Seriously, the way that soldier took down Naevia is brutal, and I love it.

-  “I fucking hate running,”…….somehow this is the most Aussie thing they’ve ever said.

- Fuck I love Mira. She just full on jumps on the dude and knifes him. She’s like a jungle cat. Seriously, Mira, will you marry me?

-  I always feel so bad when the background rebels die, poor babies.

- I LOVE THAT THEY WANNA BURY HIM!!!!! That means so much, it’s respect and loyalty and honour. BUT SPARTY IS SUCH A DOUCHE (even though I understand that they don’t have time, but cmon)

- I get so bored with the Romans sometimes.

- I feel we were robbed of the religious aspects of the time. But maybe that’s just me, I love the whole wide world of Gods and Goddesses.

- Albinius is not subtle in his interest in Lucretia (to be fair, neither am I)

-  Glaber is SUCH A DICK TO HIS WIFE, OMG! .... And Ilithyia is so crushed.

-  I’m honestly a little surprised Nasir would say he needs a rest, because wouldn’t he want to be seen like a warrior. Especially in front of the Gladiators? But then again, he also completely diffused that tense situation, so maybe he’s a genius.

-  I am 1000% here for a Nasir, Mira, Naevia friendship. WHERE ARE THE FICS!?

-  I am so surprised Liscus is so quick to say Crixus is dead. I thought Gauls were super loyal and devoted.

-  Sparty don’t like people dissing his new bf.

- Holy shit, I cannot get over the utter disrespect of desecrating a corpse. I mean I know Sparty did it in the first ep of this season, and I think I was fine with that cos it was a Roman corpse. But this time, it’s a gladiator. I know, double standards, but I can’t help it.

-  Am I seeing things, or does Ashur also look offended/uncomfortable by the corpse defiling? Shit, am I agreeing with Ashur, noooooooo.

-   “Slave, true, but far from common”

-  I cringe every time Seppia speaks

- “The morning cock has better chance of crowing to such heights”

-  “Empty vessel, barren of life, and prophesy” – did Ilithyia really have to go the barren route.

-   I was so damn happy when Rhaskos was alive……. If only he’d stay that way forever.

-  It’s awkward how excited everyone is, but sucks to be them cos it aint Sparty.

- “I stand with you in this life, and the next” HOLY SHIT I DIDN’T KNOW ACER SAID THIS OMG! This is exactly what Naevia says to Crixus later on. WOW, these are such romantic words, makes me wonder if Acer had a thing for Crixus??? I’m here for it!!!

- Oenomaus and Crixus back together again!! Yay!

-   I really hate broken hearted Oenomaus. Let Crixus smile for a god damn minute would you!!

-  For a second I really though Liscus went mad and killed Naevia.

-  Every time there is a slow-mo fight, I get butterflies. I love this show, okay?!

-  Nasir being amazing. That is all.

-  You know what I find odd, even though Naevia is super traumatized I almost feel like all this fighting and death would be comforting in a way?? because she grew up in the ludus, she was around fighting every damn day, shouldn’t she not freak out and cry about a little battle?? Am I just being insensitive?

-   I am living for all this hissing!

-  Oh gods, seriously the slow-mo scream of Nasir is fucking awful. As in it’s tragically hilarious. He sounds so stupid, I hate it.

-  Mira and Nasir, I love them.

-   Omg, Nasir sounds like he’s saying goodbye. No baby.

- Seriously, the way Naevia walks up to Nasir all possessed like, I honestly thought she was going to kill him. It was freaky.

-   Ilithyia’s party dress is the most beautifully stunning thing I’ve ever seen.

- There is a LOT of boob sucking going on.

- Varinius is so waiting for the other shoe to drop.

-  Okay, I know Seppia and Seppius are brother and sister but when I first watched this I REALLY shipped them. And even now, I still kinda do. I know it’s all kinds of wrong, but the heart ships what the heart ships.

-  It seriously looked like one of those guards rushed up to make out with Acer….. I aint even mad about that.

-   “Cut the pig” … background actors are hilarious.

-   “Boy fought well”

-  I LOVE LISCUS SHOWING NASIR RESPECT!!! Even if it is kinda short lived.

- NEVER EVER MENTION VARRO TO SPARTY, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-  I usually hate it when Sparty slaps his rebels (I will never be over how he slapped Agron) but in this case, I’m okay with it. Liscus talked about Varro, just …. You deserved it, man.

-  My little shipper heart wishes Sparty wanted Agron there was so Agron and Nasir could see each other again … my logical brain says Agron is the reinforcements they need. Sigh.

-  I love watching Fortis run, that man is so majestical.

-   All the other slaves look mad, Crixus looks confused.

-  A PENIS!! I always said I’d make a point to mention the penis’ because it’s so rare to see them, compared to the amount of boobs you get in EVERYTHING.

-  “We are politicians are we not”

-   I love how Albinius is just watching this dick measuring contest, giving no fucks at all.

-  Jackals, that’s a new insult. I love Jackals.

-  Okay I know I said Ilithyia’s dress was divine but so is Lucretia’s. wow damn.

-   I love Acer.

- Lucy Lawless acting is phenomenal. Every time she’s in eyesight of Crixus she holds her stomach. That is so beautifully done and makes the character all the more real.

-  Lucretia and Crixus scenes are so amazing.

-  OHMYGODS THE TONGUE CUTTING!

- I really love the Ilithyia and Albinius scenes, they have good back and forth.

-   Gods, the amount of fun they are all having at Acer’s expense. I could go on another rant about slavery but I think we all get the gist.

-  “You carry his child”… hilarious.

-  NASIR WANTING A GLADIATOR MARK IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “Do not cry out”

-  Sparty actually looks upset at having to burn Nasir, but dude, it’s gonna save his life.

-  I don’t think anyone realises how strong Nasir is. He didn’t cry out when he was being burned. Have you been burnt? I have, it fucking hurts. Nasir wasn’t a gladiator, he wasn’t used to pain, he was a house slave, he was used to sex. He’s used to pleasure and discomfort, not brutal pain. And yet, he didn’t scream. That’s my baby!

-  I hate that Varinius is into Seppia, it’s kinda gross.

-  I do love that Seppia can’t cut Acer though, it really shows her youth and in that split second I actually like her as a character. She seems real for the very first time.

-   “Absent attempt to fuck your sister” HOLY SHIT I DIDN’T NOTICE THIS BEFORE, THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

- Hot damn, Ilithyia is so damn sexy. I mean sucks that Acer died and I liked him, but I NEED TO FAN MYSELF COS ILITHYIA IS HOT LIKE BURNING. Seriously, damn.

-  I kinda like a Lucretia and Albinius friendship, for a minute, then it all goes to hell.

- Wait, so Liscus never made it to Agron? But …. I’m confused now.

-  Seriously, these actors that play the entertainment slaves, like they are basically having sex, so do they hire pornstars??

-  Once again, still shipping the incest, but I can’t help it! gah!

-  Holy shit, Ilithyia and Varinius sex scene is hot as hell. Ilithyia makes the best faces when she has scenes like this.

-  All this talk of Crassus makes so much more sense now that I’ve seen s3

-  Poor Nasir being carted around like a sack of potatoes.

- “Fuck the Gods.”

-   I seriously hate the Romans, leave our poor gladiators alone and stop fucking up their corpses.

- How did Sparty hear them coming?

-   LISCUS! NO!

-  FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR. FUCK YOU ASHUR.

-  Wow damn, that pole, flipping over, thing, was amazing.

-  Sparty took on a Roman army, all on his own and he won.

-  I appreciate Marcus’ belief in his people, but he’s way too cocky.

-  “I am not a Roman. I will not fucking die this night”

-  I don’t get why Nasir was allowed to live, but Liscus wasn’t. I mean I know his wound was in the chest so it was serious ….. I’m just sick of all these Gladiators dying!

-  Sometimes Ilithyia needs to calm the fuck down

-  Ilithyia is so vicious. Who knew the ditz from the pilot would end up being one of the most amazing characters

-   Ilithyia/Lucretia kiss, how I have missed these.

-  “I long to see what dawn shall bring”

-  This show has the most beautiful scenery.

-  My warrior queen!

-    I love that Naevia has a tiny blade to protect herself and Nasir.

-   AGRON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look at that nerd smile. I love him so much.

- I love that Agron barely acknowledges Sparty and runs straight for Nasir.

- Donar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-  OMG this Nagron scene kills me. Nasir’s little smile, the way Agron’s whole face just melts and you can see the absolute LOVE in his eyes.

[giroshane]

Hard Mode Questions: Rosario

So me and my dnd friends decided to do all these questions to help develop our player characters! I of course did my one and only Genderfluid Druid, my boi, my Rosario. (note: pronouns swap every question bc. you know. genderfluid). 

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Rosario doesn’t have any siblings. The only aunt who is remotely close in age, is about 7 or 8 years older than him. He’s met Tía Yolanda a few times, but she has trouble interacting with children (she’s autistic) and her quiet nature didn’t mesh well with his rambunctious tendencies. He hasn’t seen her in years now (he debated visiting her while he was in the Capital, where she was studying, but...well...then the Calamity happened. He doesn’t know if she OR Tío Emilio, also in the Capital, are even alive. He tries not to think about it--or about how he should have asked at Cranleigh...but the fear of the worst was too strong). However, were they to reunite I think they’d actually be closer. He’s grown a bit in terms of maturity and sensitivity. I can totally see them infodumping to each other all the time (once he becomes accustomed to her passion for...taxidermy).

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Rosario doesn’t have a mother! NEXT. Dad #1 is Si. And Rosario absolutely admires and respects him. And Si of course unconditionally loves his child. He always knows how to make Rosario laugh (puns…). The biggest contention between them is that both have a pretty nasty stubborn streak which can make them butt heads, especially since Si is the more authoritative parent. And sometimes Rosario will put her father on a pedestal, as a result of Si’s status as The Most Famous Bounty Hunter in the Desert. Even now, that pedestal contributes to Rosario’s own self-loathing and shame over her believed “inadequacies”, especially without Si around to break down the pedestal.

What is was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Dad #2 is Odell. Rosario also loves and respects him, but it is of course in a different way. Odell is the more doting of the two parents, but sometimes this translates to smothering. Nonetheless, he has Rosario’s best interests heart and always puts his child’s safety before anything else. Odell always knows how to soothe Rosario when he’s upset, and Rosario has many fond memories of Odell singing to him to help him fall asleep whenever he had a bad nightmare.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? Yes. It was a devastating blow to Rosario’s self-confidence and self-esteem, and shattered her belief in her own abilities; as well as being, in general, traumatizing. And absolutely no one knows.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? Some kind of seed probably. It’s variable, they could be anything from flower seeds to vegetable seeds to a handful of beans. Sometimes Rosario will just roll them around in his hand if he’s bored; a few times he’s had seeds actually sprout in his pants. Usually a bit of spending gold, for little things, probably a stitch marker or two, and some hair ties.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? In the nicest dreams, Rosario is in a forest. That’s the most common theme, but she could be doing any number of things, or any number of things could be happening. Rosario always has her full hearing. Her favorite dreams, though, are always in the desert. The sun beating down on her back, and she’s often chasing some kind of shy desert animal. She’s free.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? Violence, in the worst ones. Usually some kind of violence that Rosario can’t escape, no matter how hard he tries. It can vary in method, but it’s almost always head trauma. The kind that leaves him spinning, disoriented, with no control and no hope. The worst is when it’s a mace, he can see it so clearly that it haunts him even when he wakes up. And it’s always in the same place in Cartowitt. There’s also a nightmare that’s more of a memory, and it’s not necessarily a nightmare, but Rosario always classifies it as one. He’s standing in the burnt wreckage of his home out in the desert. The sun is high, there is no wind. Everything is calm, though some remains of the house are still smouldering. Rosario used to panic, but he’s had this dream so often now that he simply sits and...not really meditates, but is quiet. When he was about 12 or so his papa made some kind of error covering his tracks after some kind of bounty; a gang of orcs looking for revenge followed him home. The protection spells surrounding the property gave them enough time to gather most sentimental items, food, water, etc. and hide in the bunker, built and magically reinforced under the home for this express purpose. They hid in terrified silence for hours as the orcs raided and ransacked the home--and, when they (thankfully) couldn’t find their intended victims, set it on fire. Since there was no way to contact help, Rosario and his parents spent a better part of a week in the bunker while the fire raged. Everyone emerged unscathed, but it was a defining moment for Rosario: it was the moment he fully realized the dangers of the desert, and the danger his papa faced day in and day out. It was also the first and only time he ever saw his parents honest to god fight (in the aftermath of this event). In the dream, this is the moment where the fire finally died down enough that the metal hatch to the bunker was cool enough to touch, and the family could safely emerge. Rosario can never bring himself to turn back and watch his fathers come out of the bunker. Actually, now that I think about it, fire is also a common theme. Everything he cares about going up in flames. Sometimes himself. Lately there’s some kind of blaring noise that goes along with the raging fire before he wakes up in a cold sweat, with an ache in his neck and chest. I wonder now if choosing the spell Flame Blade was the best idea.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Not a gun, but Si trained Rosario to use the hand-crossbows he uses in an emergency. Unfortunately Rosario did not inherit her papa’s knack for sharpshooting, so she has no particular draw to it. Her first targets were little balls of dried clay set up on rocks. It took a while for Si to convince her that shooting a cactus wouldn’t actually kill the cactus.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? Arguably it’s lower than what it was. Si often brought in enough money for them to be considered lower middle class, I suppose? Rosario was never hungry but sometimes there were dry periods where he couldn’t always get the clothes or toys (or eventually plants) he might have wanted. Now he could be considered homeless (though he really isn’t, if he reached out to his parents), or at least poor. He has trouble holding onto what little money he does have--he has been getting better at that though now that he’s a part of this ragtag group with an actual mission that requires necessities (like armor)--mostly because he’s learned how to be self-sufficient in the wilds. Can’t afford food? He saw a wild patch of onions in a clearing on his way into town. Can’t afford a bed? He has a couple blankets and he knows how to essentially make a nest/hammock in the branches of a tree. He doesn’t see himself as one, but I imagine the rest of civilized society would see him as a total bum.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? As promiscuous as Rosario tends to be, she actually prefers more clothing! Something she’s kind of had ingrained in her since leaving the desert is the notion that she’s...well, weird. Even for a tiefling. The red skin, ram horns, the snake-scale patches on her skin, the tail, the clawed feet (and displaced toes), the glowing eyes, the sharp teeth, they all make her distinctly Other. As such she’s actually fairly self-conscious--she doesn’t even trust when other people flirt with her--she has to be the initiator or she thinks it’s a trick or joke. All this boils down to the fact that she’s far more comfortable with more clothing than less, lol. A way to hide the more undesirable parts of herself (scales, tail, etc.)

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? [REDACTED].

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? In the morning, as a child, he would wake up, and lie in bed, and feel so calm that he’d almost fall back asleep. He’d listen to the birds in the nests he built outside his window, and in the otherwise quiet he’d always say he’d be listening to his plants grow.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? I suppose it depends on the carnage. But in general? Not at all. She’s very used to pricking herself on thorns or getting bitten or scratched by cranky animals. She’s of course very concerned if others are bleeding, but by this point she’s a good judge of when a wound is actually serious or not.

Does your character remember names or faces easier? Neither, to be honest. But if it comes down to it Rosario is better at faces. He’s better with visuals than words.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Not really. To her, the best things in life are free. Or, are usually free. Money has become important in the more recent weeks, causing her to try and obtain more, but she’s never been obsessed with it at all.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Oh happiness all the way. Rosario has always believed that you can have happiness without success. After all, happiness can come from the little things: the breeze in your hair, watching a hummingbird flit from flower to flower, nurturing a plant and helping it grow. Rosario doesn’t consider himself very successful at anything at all, and yet he finds happiness every day.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? I honestly don’t think she had one. Like, she had some toy dolls and the like that she would use when playing but she wasn’t particularly attached to them (considering one time she ripped off the head of one of them and attached a flower in its place, thus creating the plant monster-anti-hero Flower Face). However, she Did have a blanket that Tía Carmen knitted for her when she was born that she was ridiculously attached to. She was so upset when she wore it down to tatters that Tía Carmen decided to teach her to knit so she could make her own blankets. She rarely has enough yarn nowadays, but she loves making anything she can--knitting is soothing and helps calm her down, especially if she’s feeling too hyperactive or bored.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Ambition, if only because it’s something he...lacks. Even though he has long-term life goals in mind…he has trouble actually focusing on them, especially right now.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? Gender dysphoria and general poor self-esteem. Rosario doesn’t see herself as someone anyone wants to hang around with for too long. The rest of the party she just views as a fluke, and they grate against each other enough--getting agitated with Wilhelm and Memor, Fox pushing her into a panic attack (even if it was an accident), Sky’s general...apathy, weirding out Elaris by infodumping on him (and then the recent incident with the alcohol), her habit of complaining that she knows is annoying and sometimes makes her hypocritical--that she’s just waiting for the other shoe to drop and them to leave her. This notion has destroyed any relationships before they even have the chance to start: Rosario doesn’t let anything go past a one night stand with a stranger. She never believes they want anything more than that and the idea of someone knowing her body intimately and continuing to know her intimately (or at all) after the fact is terrifying to her. She’s too scared to put that kind of trust in somebody right now.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism? Rosario doesn’t compare himself to others simply because he already knows the truth (or thinks he does): that he just...doesn’t compare at all. His flaws stand out so starkly to him that he can’t see his own strengths, just the strengths of others, so he doesn’t bother trying to measure up because he believes he can’t. Might as well just be his weird, shitty self because they’ll abandon him eventually.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? If there is no one clear to blame, Rosario will always blame herself. She blames herself for [REDACTED]; she blames herself for the criticisms she draws from her companions (even if it’s something she can’t control, like her appearance); she blames herself when spells or attacks fail; she blames herself for not reaching out to her parents (which...is her fault but is also the result of trauma); hell, she blames herself for not saving Kyle the Train Wizard. Despite him being a bad guy, he had a change of heart and she had the opportunity to try and save him, and she didn’t take it, and even if he sacrificed himself for them she still blames herself. To be fair, she also takes the blame for things that are legitimately her fault (standing directly in front of the Doom Train, for instance), but she also tends to blame herself for things she has/had no control over.

What does your character like in other people? Kindness, first and foremost. Not just to him, but to other people, and to nature. I would also say confidence is a biggie, since he has so much trouble with it. He admires it in other people. He honestly admires people who have a grasp of what they’re doing in their lives--people who are more stable than he is.

What does your character dislike in other people? I know this is a bit obvious, but cruelty, plain and simple. Especially if it’s without cause--which is why Rosario tends to protest if the rest of the party are killing someone who doesn’t really need to die. She has seen and been at the hands of cruelty, and personally she still can’t believe someone could just...Be Like That. It horrifies her, more than anything else, the darkest things a person is capable of.

How quick is your character to trust someone else? Fairly easy, in certain regards. There has to be a degree of trust when you’re sleeping with someone, right? He tends to trust easy at face value, though that can change depending on the situation. However, in regards to trusting someone else with his secrets, his fears, himself? It takes a good long while, and a healthy amount of respect (which is why Hemlock got a sizable confession from him in Portsmouth; if it had been someone else with him he would have clammed up completely, even while visibly breaking down). Elaris is only just beginning to chip at the surface. I should say this, just because Rosario doesn’t trust deeply very easily, he is incredibly loyal to those he’s felt earned it (i.e. the rest of the party and Hemlock).

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? Rosario can be a bit oblivious sometimes, so usually it takes a while for her to suspect someone (I’m fairly certain she was the last person in the group to realize the old lady they rescued was, in fact, The Clove; she didn’t suspect the alchemist in Hadad of ripping her off until after the fact). With people she’s close to, this does change--she actually comes to suspect them quite easier. Usually because she’s holding them to higher standards now that she knows them--but it’s also an internal suspicion. Usually unfounded, but Rosario tends to note the little grievances other party members have of her. She very easily suspects her friends of wanting her gone.

How does your character behave around children? Rosario loves kids! You know how people will shun punks but kids love the brightly colored mohawks and spiked jackets and shit? It’s the same thing with Rosario and his horns and tail! He’ll play keep away with his tail with them, or he’ll let them touch his horns. He doesn’t mind being a bit of a jungle-gym haha. He’ll lay down his life for a child (and...he kind of has hasn’t he? Back in Wolfwater and all). He may pretend that he doesn’t care for them or that he likes animals better (and...he still kind of does, just a little) but it’s very easy for a kid to melt his heart. Children are his secret weakness, honestly. If a kid runs up to him and asks him for money, he’ll give it; or if they ask for a playmate, or for help, for almost anything, Rosario is...weak lol.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? He would usually prefer the most peaceful option--but he has fairly strong convictions, and a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is more likely to get defensive than he is to play mediator or peacemaker. It also depends on the context of the confrontation; Rosario will Avoid certain confrontations as if his life depends on it. But again, he’s more likely to get defensive than actually run.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Rosario tries to save it for last resort--if everything could be resolved diplomatically Rosario would be a much happier tiefling. However, if you press all her buttons just right she will let loose on you; she was not afraid to get in the Diamond’s face back in Hadad, infuriated that the Diamond didn’t even seem to acknowledge her and her friends as people.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? For a long while Rosario wanted to become a dancer; he voraciously picked up on any kind of dancing he could get people to teach him--even belly-dancing over his teen years! At the time, he viewed his passion for greenery and gardening and animal care as just a hobby. He was even hoping to go to the same bard school Tía Selena went to, since she’s the best dancer he knew. But that all changed after a rare visit from Tío Hector when Rosario was about 14. Rosario actually really only met him on this one occasion, since Hector’s such a drifter that it’s incredibly hard to pin him down. Hector specializes in street magic, busking in different places with impressive tricks to earn money. When visiting he used this kind of magic to make flowers bloom in Rosario’s hair, or make them appear and disappear and all sorts of tricks. Rosario was absolutely mesmerized. From that visit onward he vowed he’d learn any magic he could get his grubby hands on. This eventually evolved into wanting to become a Druid as he learned about them in particular. So, technically no--but Rosario still loves dancing! He’s just had a switcheroo--dancing is now just a hobby, and his passion for nature is now at the forefront.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? Very similar to 23, she finds cruelty absolutely abhorrent, in whatever form it takes--animal abuse, people abuse (slavery, beating, etc.), hell, even what is arguably plant abuse (deforestation). It’s disgusting to her that people cannot respect and love this world and its inhabitants.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. He’s back in the desert, not far from his home. A cluster of cacti and underbrush surround him. He’s knitting--it’s been a long day of, well, whatever--and he wants to unwind. A couple of baby snakes are nestled in his lap, their mother close by sunbathing with a few more babies. One baby is curled around his horn. He’ll be able to watch the sunset from here.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. In a situation where she has no control over anything whatsoever. She can’t escape, she can’t fight. Someone or something’s bearing down on her. She can’t win.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? Rosario can get defensive, but more often than not he’s self-deprecating. If someone criticizes him he’s more likely to acknowledge it and own it. “Oh, they’re criticizing my abilities. That’s fair, I’m terrible.” Ever since [REDACTED] he doesn’t believe that he’ll ever improve--not really, no matter how hard he tries. Nor does he believe that he’ll ever recover from that trauma--a part of him doesn’t think he deserves to.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? She’ll try different things. Back in the Desert, getting stuck on one possible solution could mean life or death. You have to be willing to try new methods or think outside the box in order to survive. One time while camping she got caught in a sandstorm. She managed to take shelter behind some boulders but in the powerful winds her tent got blown away. When trying to make a new tent out of blankets didn’t pan out, she decided to go the way of the sidewinder rattlesnake (fittingly enough, her father’s namesake), and burrow herself into the sand to keep cool and take shelter from the blistering sun. While she did get sand everywhere, she didn’t die of heatstroke, so there’s that.

How does your character behave around people they like? Caring and helpful! He wants the people he likes to be okay, plain and simple. Now if it’s like as in like like (lol) he’s a mess. He’s still caring and helpful, but he also tends to be far too praising and is far more likely to stumble over his words.

How does your character behave around people they dislike? He’s more scathing in his words; his sarcasm is brutal and biting. He doesn’t respect them and he’ll make that abundantly clear. He’s not one to hide his true feelings.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Her honor, or what little she has of it. She doesn’t give a fuck about status. She doesn’t really care about honor either--except when it comes to her family. She believes herself a disgrace to her family name, but god forbid anyone insult her family. She will defend their honor to the grave.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? He’s a stubborn ram. He’ll try removing the problem/threat until he knows for a fact he can’t (and even then, he may keep going. He still hasn’t learned…). Especially if someone else’s life is at risk. He’ll remove that problem/threat if it kills him, if it means protecting someone else.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? Many, many times. Rosario has a deep respect for nature, but she also loves interacting with it. It’s become a bit of a Steve Irwin situation: if an animal bites her, she knows that it’s likely her fault because she got in its face. She did get upset the first time an animal bit her--a bird pecked her fingers, thinking she had food; but not because of the pain, but because then Plata tried to crush the bird. Plata is Si’s horse. She’s very fast and notoriously touchy. Si didn’t stop getting kicked for years after he got her. There was a big fear that she’d hurt Rosario, to the extent that Si learned Speak With Animals solely to explain to her the situation and very clearly state that if she harmed a hair on his child’s head he would see to it personally that she got sent to the glue factory (or…the Dungeons and Dragons equivalent). He didn’t need to worry though. Plata became as protective over Rosario as a guard dog. She protected her as if Rosario was her foal. Rosario is the only person in the world Plata has not tried to kick (she has nibbled her though, when she gets exasperated or irritated).

How does your character treat people in service jobs? Rosario is very respectful and polite! He understands they are just trying to make a living, which is usually why he won’t rob them or even try to haggle. However, that changes if (and only if) they’re mean to him out of turn.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? Rosario isn’t sure if she deserves to be alive, so. She absolutely believes she must earn what she wants, in whatever way that means, be it education, money, good deeds, etc. She’s a staunch believer in karma--if you do good things, good things should come back to you.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? I wouldn’t say necessarily a parental figure, but when Rosario finally joined a Druid commune to get proper basic training, the chief of the commune, Sybil, looked out for him. She gave him space when he needed it and never pried into his past (during a time where even asking about his ear made him shut down and panic). She also kept him focused and encouraged him in his pursuits. I would say that he was actually doing fairly well (mentally/emotionally) under her tutelage until she sent him out into the world. He did well for a while…then relapsed.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? Rosario counts all plants under her care as dependents. In a way they’re little pieces of encouragement: I can keep these little guys alive, that means I’m good for one thing, at least. Also when she was younger there was a den of snakes near her home; she took care of the mother to the point that the mother trusted her around her babies just fine. Rosario always made sure Hera (what she named the mother snake) and all her children were protected and fed.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? Rosario can say “I love you” very easily without meaning it--it often slips out in “the heat of the moment”s and such. He’s also used to saying it platonically/familially, so hearing him say it is a common occurrence among friends and family. Romantically is a whole other ball game however. It’ll take a lot of effort to earn that one. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Hopefully a painless, endless nothingness. Just...ceasing to exist. Void. It sounds nice, honestly, not scary. The process of dying, however, terrifies her.

[janeykath318]

Five Times Jim Died, And One Time He Didnt

[zombiecheri]

Lonesome boy and lonesome girl

Hello, I decided to post another story here. This is Yuri plisetsky x reader story ^_^ hope you'll like it! *** I lifelessly stare out of the glass, my heart and soul like ice The melancholy that I abortively hide gleams clear in my vacant eyes *** He disliked the gloomy weather. It reminded him of what he felt so long ago. His parents death that has physically and mentally plagued his mind. The rain was a symbol of his misfortune. The storm clouds that were considered his past consumed with sadness, had rolled over him, heavy downpour was his misery from such traumatic events. Yuri Plisetsky hated rain. Too long had it reigned upon him, this rain had. But this was no light drizzle, this was a monsoon of lecherous proportion forcing him to stay locked inside his house. His grandpa wasn't at home, but he wasn't alone. There was a girl his age, his friend, sitting in his large sofa, her (color) orbs curiously watching the rain pouring harshly on the thin window frame. He sat in his room, elbow perched upon the mahogany desk, hand suspending his head which hung lazily as he also watched the rain drizzle and splatter aimlessly onto the windows. He sighed, his green orbs now looking at the (color) haired girl, as she was completely engrossed with her watching. Yuri couldn't help but let out a small chuckle which spread echoing in the large room. He shook his head ever so slightly and stared at the flames dancing in the fireplace. The embers ran wild, as they twisted and took off, the energy they radiated was all consumed with melancholy and sadness, as they drizzled and gleamed, while their luminous existence was annihilated by the same fire that birthed them. The ashes held agony, as they burnt and died, the last of their breaths were glows that ran wild. The cinders were speaking unknown words to his heart, the little sparks writhed unevenly until they dropped and embraced their end. There would be that one flicker, and it seemed as the flame was startled by his thoughts, it flabbergasted and resumed its pattern, until once more it seized its motion and shivered. His thoughts kept coming to him like a devastating storm ready to take over his whole body, consume it with its deadly embrace and eat him alive.  He wished for something to occupy his mind from those painful thoughts. He wished rain to cease, as it kept him locked in here, away from his only family - his grandpa. "I like rain," a sudden and low whisper echoed in the place stopping his train of thoughts and young blonde skater looked at the girl with the startled expression. I like rain Those words glued in his mind and he couldn't help but let out a small sigh, sadness clear in his green orbs. How could she liked something that took away everything from him? How could she stare at how it rained with such passion and love, when it was bringing him pain just by hearing its sound? The answers he so desperately tried to seek, were hidden somewhere he knew he couldn't reach. And he felt words slip unintentionally from his lips. "I hate rain" he shrugged. The girl only now turned her gaze at him, her curious eyes staring at him with expression he couldn't figure out. He wondered if he ever would. A small smile touched her lips. "I know" she whispered words that barely reached him. Her eyes held that incomprehensible, enigmatic spark in them, staring, what it seemed to him, into his exposed soul. Yuri felt shivers running down on his spine, her eyes seemed so mesmerizing and held so many secrets, he rashly got drawn to her, something he had never done before. He felt tired and lonely, but of course blonde skater wasn't physically alone, for there was that strange girl he referred to as his friend, sitting in his large, dark brown sofa, her curious eyes locked with his ones. He dared to brake the stare contest they were unknowingly and silently participating and looked down, not before catching a small smile that ran on her face for a second, before her expression turned back to being unknown. Yuri sighed. He placed his head on the desk and listened to the clock monotonously tick back and forth. Tick Tock Tick Tock "Do you want to talk about it?" The girl's whisper was heard again and died down, as he quickly turned his eyes and stared at her almost astonished. He wondered if his imagination was playing tricks on him. He knew what she meant by that, but he didn't want to believe she actually asked him such thing. It was a taboo between them. They never talked about it. Not even once they mentioned that topic before, and now oh so suddenly hearing that, Yuri couldn't help but wonder. Why she wanted to talk about their dead parents? "What?" He asked, with the same whispering voice she asked him, as if they were talking about something that wasn't meant to be heard by others. But they were alone. She smiled the unknown smile, the sparks in her eyes twirling and dying down, the small, slight movement of her pale lips lifting up in a smile, that as quickly as appeared, vanished away. "Talk. Let's...," there was a small pause, which felt like eternity to him. "Talk about our parents." She finished giving him the same look and stood up, slowly walking to him and plopping down on the dark, ebony chair that stood beside him. Their shoulders brushed slightly, the sensation so unknown burning in his body, as blonde skater tried to concentrate on her words. But words were slipping away from him. It was a hard task. Task, he knew he'd fail doing if he didn't stop the unknown, eerie feeling crashing into his body immediately and actually focus, which he couldn't do. Or didn't want to. Perhaps he couldn't concentrate, because he knew what that eerie, yet familiar feeling was. He found himself answering. "Okay." It was barely even a whisper, so low, girl had to lean in to hear it, holding onto it like her life was depending on that single word. Yuri felt bees buzzing in his head with force, the head feeling light and the burning sensation crashed into his body again, reminding him to back away, which he refused to do, as he felt the warm exhales of her breath touch his cheeks ever so slightly, the feeling that made every nerve in his body burn. The thoughts that so casually were entering his head were dangerous, dangerous to that matter, he had to force his whole self to regain control upon them, control, that, he felt, was slowly slipping away. "Wonderful," she whispered, backing off, the eyes still sparking with unknown spark, almost smiling at him, as if they knew what was going in his mind. He cleared his throat, trying to gain composure, trying to clear his head once again and stared at her. "There is nothing to tell," he said, shrugging, trying to sound as casual as he could, but he knew that he failed when his sough colored eyes locked with her (color) ones. They were smiling at him, almost laughing, their defiant look challenging him to do something that he knew he'd regret later. "I was five when they passed away," the girl began, when she couldn't get the answer she wanted to hear. Her voice was dull, sad even, sunk into her far away memories. She looked so small, so petite, all of sudden, Yuri felt this urge to hold her into his arms, embrace and never let go. He shooed his thoughts away yet again and nodded his head ever so slightly, motioning her to continue her talk. Her eyes locked with his one's for a moment and then she took her gaze off of him, returning to her talk. She wrapped her hands around her legs and stared at the raindrops falling harshly, the poor trees all soaked and naked and alone there. He followed her gaze, but quickly stopped and looked at her again. Looking at the rain made his head spin more with pain that sent crashing waves into his body. "I don't remember them clearly." she stopped, taking a deep breath. "But I do remember their hug. No one was hugging me like that, so protectively, so strongly, nearly squeezing me." She smiled at her memories, a smile so genuine and yet so sad, so loving and Yuri wondered if he could see her smile at him like that. Probably not. "I remember their words, when I wasn't eating or when i was acting stubbornly," she chuckled. "They were always scolding me, but their eyes held so much love, I knew I wasn't going to be grounded and used their kindness privileged." Another pause came. "I was such a bad child." She said after a while. "I never listened to them. I used their love for my advantage, I.." This time pause last longer. Yuri couldn't see her face, as it was buried in her arms, protectively shielding her from his curious eyes, but he don't need to, he already knew everything. Yuri reached for her awkwardly, hesitating, as if he didn't know what to do, as if he was afraid to do anything. His arms wrapped around her and he leaned in, fully embracing her, the warmth of her pouring into his body and consuming it with fire, fire that made his heart-beating increase and fasten. He looked down at her shaky form, her hands no longer covering her face, as her blank expression kept staring into nowhere, small, nearly seeable tears flickering in her deep eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered more to himself, guilt washing over him and eating him alive. He was to be blamed. He was to be blamed for making her cry. He was to be blamed for making her force to stay with him, when she could have returned in her house. He was to be blamed that there was no one waiting for her in her own house. He was to be blamed for everything, everything he did or he didn't, he was still one to be blamed. He was to be blamed for not being perfect, for not staying with her, for abandoning her and skating, wining thousands of competitions, forgetting about the one lonely girl he should've never forgotten. He was the cause of everything. He was the one to take the blame. He didn't have time to be selfish. But he was. Embracing her, he only thought about himself, about those emotions he felt towards her. He was selfish. Selfish and pathetic little boy, that dared to approach her, when he knew he didn't have right to do so. He didn't deserve her. She was far from his reach, she was there, and yet, he knew, he could never reach her. He could never taste those pale lips and he could never wish selfish things. But in that moment, he wished. Why? Because he was a big idiot, a huge one. A complete asshole. Yuri cleared his head and backed away. He couldn't make her life more miserable than it already was. He couldn't ruin her. Not when she was already ruined. She felt him back away and straightened up, staring into his eyes questioning him, the curiosity and sadness, unbearable, unmasked sadness radiating in her (color) orbs. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, blaming himself for her tears, anger singing chorus in his body, the warmth turning into fire that promised to burn him. "No, don't be," she leaned in to reach his hands, touching them with her cold fingers, but he immediately drawn back, the feeling of her cold fingers freezing his mind. The look on her face turned perplexed, the eyes gleaming with agony and pleading him to not back away from her, to touch her, to kiss her, to be with her. To consume her with his selfishness. Yuri couldn't think straight. He felt emotions barge in and out like a lightening, anger, sadness, happiness and self-hatred waving into his body. He stood up, trying to run away from them, trying to keep the distance between them, even if his heart longed to embrace her. "So stubborn," he could hear her words, his back turned at her and he could imagine a small frown forming on her lips, but maybe it was a smile. She was a puzzle after all. Eerie, strange, magical, so not like other girls he had a fortune to walk into. She was so different. Perhaps, he wondered, that was the reason he was so drawn to her. "Stop," he heard her say, it wasn't a whisper now, it was loud, pleading, no, demanding even. Yuri didn't stop. He couldn't. The hands held onto his coat, forcing him to stop dead on his tracks. He didn't turn around, he knew if he would, he couldn't resist anymore and do something he couldn't afford to do. "Yuri," the girl spoke, shaking. Her voice held so much sadness, so much agony, he couldn't keep himself to act this way, as he spun around and met her gaze. "What do you-" his voice died once his eyes fell on her face and he found himself unable to speak. Her mask was broken, her face was holding pain, her pale lips trembling. But what he could do? What he could do to make her feel better? Nothing. That's right, he could do nothing. All his actions were causing more pain, he couldn't see her break because of his selfishness. He could ruin her too. So Yuri turned around, forcing himself, clenching his teeth, pain burning in his body, leaving the girl alone. In that moment he hated himself, he hated every part of himself for acting like that, but he didn't know any other way. He had no choice. She wanted to respond with something proper, but suddenly all she could think about was any single way she could make him stay. She awaited for him for what seemed like forever, losing now was equal to losing him. "Yuri, I love you," she whispered, warm tears running down on her cheeks and colliding with the brown floor. The house was silent. There was no answer and she didn't except one, just waiting silently for the moment the door would shut, wondering if this was over, wondering if he'd disappear again, abandon her again, continue his skating again. As several noiseless minutes passed, she finally gained a courage to open her eyes a bit, only to see blond skater staring dumbfounded at her, his green orbs wide, in a state of complete immobility. "What did you say?" He asked in a faint whisper. He couldn't believe what he heard. He thought he was dreaming, it must have been that. She tried to remind herself how to breathe in that moment."I'm in love with you-" Before she could even complete the sentence, his lips were on hers and his arms caged her from every side. She couldn't believe the trill she was experiencing, she couldn't believe the emotion she felt being kissed by him. Yuri was kissing her. "I love you," his words coming out of his mouth left her speechless, her eyes widening in pure shock, tears spilling from her (color) orbs, making his clothes wet, but in that moment they didn't care, it didn't matter. Yuri was kissing her. So passionately, so lovingly, so hungrily, it was making her head spin, making her stomach feel funny, making her legs light and her body melted into his warm embrace. He loved her. And she realized that, she understood that nothing in this world mattered to her in that moment. *** The night was embedded with more thoughts than the stars hung on moonlit sky that cast its infiltrating rays though the window glass, right by which he held her pressed against a wall - a chest to chest and heart to heart. Distance was a very absurd concept between them, as he touched the parts of her skin he never had before and she held onto him, as if she held onto life. There was nothing more real and nothing more indefinite than her shivering hands as she removed his jumper, his firm fingers as he undid the zipper of her dress - never taking their eyes off one another. She craved him like air, the moment she watched her as she unbuttoned his shirt, but he halted her struggle by pressing his lips against her, her mind felt like nothing more than a midnight dream on a winter night. It was when he grabbed her wrists that she ceased her motion and bored her gaze into his. "I can't," he breathed slowly, kissing her. "Please - don't," she started, feeling his words drop on her as the dark on a brilliant sunset. It was his breathless laugh that followed her plead as he caressed her cheek. "I want everything," she declared with her shaky countenance as she grabbed his neck and kissed him with everything she had. "Every part of you." She reminded him constantly the summer rain, rain he hated but came to love in that moment: a destined clash between warmth and feeling - energy and desire. She was everything that had killed him and revived him time and again. He was in her head and she was in his heart, and their souls touched that night as neither of them had any words left to express their emotions any longer. He drew back several times, when their hands were intertwined and she lied under his heart, to see if there was a speck of doubt in her eyes, but all he saw was his own reflection glaring back at him with all its might and - helplessness in his own stare. "I love you," she whispered one last time ad he took the words from her mouth into his own because those were the last ones spoken for the rest of the night. *** Two souls merge and shadows part: his selfish mind and her selfless heart

[movietvtechgeeks]

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'Supernatural's' Bad Place left us in a prehistoric place

I LOVED last week’s episode of Supernatural, so I went into this week’s with high expectations, especially because this was the lead-in to the Wayward Sisters pilot episode that happens when we return from Hellatus. ‘The Bad Place’ turned out to be a wild rollercoaster of a ride that kept me on the edge of my seat – it literally looked and felt like a feature film crammed into 42 minutes! That’s not to say I loved all of it, but it definitely did a great job of setting up the possible spinoff while simultaneously entertaining me throughout. So, what I liked?  Well, I really liked Jack. It was nice to meet Alexander Calvert at last weekend’s Supernatural convention and to be able to tell him in person what a fabulous job he’s doing on this show, because DAMN. I have been rooting for Jack since the beginning, which says a lot about Calvert’s acting and the way he’s been written considering he’s Lucifer’s son. I didn’t think I’d like him at all before Jack was born, so I wasn’t even prepared to care about the character – but I do. We open with a young Native American artist, Derek, and his girlfriend discussing the difficulties of making a living through art, which, YES. Enter Jack, a prospective buyer. Derek: You’re young. Jack: I am. I laughed out loud at Calvert’s delivery, and the fresh-faced expression on Jack’s face. He manages to make Jack entirely likable while also playing him with a hint of wait-is-that-a-menacing-look so I’m always a little off base and unsure. I was so horrified when we thought that Jack killed Derek, it actually made me a little sick to my stomach. I don’t WANT Jack to go dark side, Show! And that says something very good about how the character is being written and acted because I actually CARE about him. Berens does a good job of incorporating a bit of Native American lore, and casting does a good job as they almost always do with finding an actor  (Nathaniel Arcand) who makes us care about him even in the four minutes he was in the episode! Arcand is not just very good looking; he invests Derek with personality too. I hated seeing Derek lying on the floor with his eyes burnt out, his horrified girlfriend screaming. I think I might have been muttering No No No Jack No No No, much to my family’s dismay. And who does Jack see as he hitches a ride with the Dreamwalker? Mary, now in the hanging cage that Lucifer was being tortured in. That didn’t help my poor stomach at all. There’s more to like about Jack in this episode, but let me more or less follow the episode’s progression because there was a lot happening! While Jack is out hitching a ride with a dreamwalker, Dean and Sam are desperate to find Jack. So desperate that Dean is doing something that felt a bit out of character to me – calling Patience. After he told her to stay out of the life and stick to normal if she possibly could, he’s calling her to ask for her help in finding Jack. Yes, he acknowledges the change of heart and the reason, but I couldn’t quite get my head around it. Especially when we see that he’s called her six times! That’s called stalking, Dean. It all feels a little more worrisome when this is a high school student we’re talking about. So that wasn’t one of the things I especially liked in this episode. Patience (Clark Back), for her part, is having a tough time of it even apart from Dean Winchester being intrusive. She’s lying to her dad (played by Adrian Holmes - which he somehow doesn’t realize even though it seems fairly obvious to me) about having visions, and her grades are suffering for it. If you can call getting a C suffering, that is. I work with clients all the time whose perfectionism is definitely not doing them any favors, so I really bristled when Patience’s dad told her in no uncertain terms that only perfect grades and SATS were acceptable. Bad parenting, Patience’s dad! The dads on Supernatural make some really crappy decisions, and this dad takes a page out of the John Winchester parenting handbook by telling Patience that if she leaves and “chooses that life,” she can’t come back. WHAT? I mean, I knew he made bad decisions after the whole decade of lying to Patience about her grandmother Missouri, but this was almost worse. Who sets those kinds of limits on your kid when it’s clear they’re trying to do something GOOD?? Poor Patience. Good thing she kept Jody’s business card. Speaking of Jody, she calls Sam and Dean with a lead on Jack and they head to Derek’s studio to talk with the traumatized girlfriend. There they learn he was a Dreamwalker and see the painting that lets them know he’s been to the AU – Apocalypse World as we’re now calling it. Sam and Dean get in the car, in front of a big beautiful blue winged mural on the side of the studio so kudos to Jerry Wanek and his team of wizards. Dean knows this is Season 13 so he keeps to the new norms, thankfully. Dean to Sam: We gonna talk about it? Of course they are, because this is Season 13! Dean: Looks like Jack gave up on us and is looking for his daddy. Me: (and Sam probably) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Dean: This isn’t an I told you so. I actually like the kid. I liked that little conversation so much, because it’s the Winchesters really being open with each other. Before Sam can misinterpret, Dean lets him know how he’s actually feeling and that this is not what he wanted either. Season 13! Another thing I really liked? Kaia Nieves (Yadira Guevera-Prip). We first meet her in a group therapy session (with a not so great therapist, which always makes me feel a little defensive for my profession, but whatever). Kaia is revealed to us little by little, covered up all over and hiding under a hood and under her well-honed snarky defenses. Her portrayal was so realistic that I found myself thoroughly believing her as a reluctant, defended client – both the acting and the writing were spot on. Even her little quip about Trump rang so true (I guess on the show we’ve intersected with real life now that the Lucifer-possessed president guy is out of the way). She actually sounds just like an addict in denial, which is how the therapist treats her, but when Kaia says she doesn’t want to go to “the bad place”, she means something much more literal. She too is a Dreamwalker, but instead of being able to go where she wants, she always ends up there – and comes back not only psychologically scarred but literally bloodied. Those scars she’s hiding under her sleeves are not from cutting. (Also did anyone else keep getting Dark Angel feels every time someone talks about ‘the bad place”?? Shades of Jensen Ackles’ brilliant portrayal of Ben, one of the most tragic characters I’ve ever encountered) Jack shows up, and he’s progressed from “I like nougat” to “I like cocaine” alarmingly fast. Kaia’s reaction was brilliant – Yadira’s facial expressions are amazing in conveying so much, from shock to humor to horror to joy. Kaia: (bemused) Okay, Suite Life… The little shout out to Kim Rhodes’ previous series was a nice touch, Mr. Berens. Jack breaks her out, and I worry that the guard he took down isn’t really just “sleeping” because we don’t yet know that Jack did not, in fact, kill Derek. But we find out quickly because the Winchesters show up right about then. Sam shares the details of Kaia’s tragic life story with Dean, who sums it up with “bad hand…” I’ll say. I already have a lot of empathy for Kaia, but that seals the deal. Meanwhile, Kaia is proving herself not only relatable but badass. And smart. She refuses to go with the creepy stranger who can break through triple locked doors and knock people out by touching them – I mean, odd decision, but…  Jack is distracted by Sam and Dean, which gives Kaia a chance to haul off and punch him and run away. Jack: (indignant) She hit me! Then we get one of my favorite scenes in the episode, during which Calvert, Jared Padalecki, and Jensen Ackles all knock it out of the park (with help from Berens and director Phil Sgriccia). Jack: I’m doing this for you! I wanted to prove to you that I’m good. So I did the thing you wanted the most…. I researched, like you taught me… And I saw her. Your mother. She’s alive. Dean: (absolutely dumbfounded and already overcome with emotion) What? Jack shows them what he saw, and they actually SEE Mary being tortured, and hear her calling out for help. It must KILL them to see and hear that and not be able to do anything. Dean: (sounding broken) Mom! There’s a moment then where we focus on Dean’s face, and everything else that’s going on seems to fade into the background. He turns away slightly from Jack and from Sam, a look of shock on his face at finding out his mother is alive. And then, in just a few seconds, you can see his expression harden, his jaw set. That right there is Dean Winchester swearing to god that he will do whatever it takes to save his mother. It’s Dean channeling John every time he put his boys into danger to try to save Mary. It literally gave me goosebumps. The other incredible scene I LOVED was the “car scene,” with Dean and Sam in the front and Jack in the back as they go after Kaia. Berens shared that as originally scripted and shot, that scene was much shorter. But the episode actually (miraculously) came in under time, so they had some time left to fill. They “collaborated and spitballed” and realized they could reshoot the scene in an extended version. Berens added that it “felt like a cosmic gift.” And I definitely agree! Berens: Strong case to be made it’s the MOST important scene in the ep, the emotional payload, and we almost didn’t have it. ALL that stuff was written as subtext to the episode but it became clear I messed up, we NEEDED to see that moment. So Phil shot it perfectly, and of course Jared, Jensen and Alex hit it out of the park. So lucky. I’ll say. Also, the Season 13 rules about open communication are still in play, and I am ridiculously grateful for that. Dean to Sam: You were right. This whole time… We should have been looking for her. Sam tries to console his brother because he KNOWS how hard Dean will take this, saying he didn’t know, he just hoped. But it’s clear that Dean is taking this on himself, guilty and traumatized because he gave up on his mother. Dean (and me) struggled mightily with Sam giving up on looking for Dean way back in the Amelia season, so this is something that must really hit home for him. And that worries me. Dean: We find her. No matter what. Me: Uh oh. Then there is the absolutely wonderful conversation that came from reshooting the scene and being able to make it longer. It makes me wonder what kind of glorious moments we would have if our show always had the luxury of time, because this? This was effing magic. Dean: Kid, you okay? I smile every time Dean calls him ‘kid.’ Jack is not, in fact, okay. He realizes that the Winchesters believed he was capable of doing something awful like killing Derek. Sam struggles to explain, and Jared does an amazing job making it incredibly real and poignant. You can hear Sam’s voice shake; he even stumbles over his words a little in an attempt to make something awkward understandable. Dean finally admits that they thought he went looking for his father. Jack: Lucifer? He’s no one to me. You – Castiel – you’re my family. Dean doesn’t even hesitate. Dean: Yes. Yes, we are. Me: Tissues! Dean: Finding mom, you did a good thing, kid. A real good thing. The small smile on Jack’s face made me tear up. And the look on Sam’s face when he hears Dean say that! There are tears in his eyes, and he just looks so…. Relieved? Happy? It made me happy too. Kaia, in the interim, gets kidnapped by a bunch of angels who are of course dicks because really, angels are the worst on Supernatural. I get that they’re desperate with the whole going extinct thing, but wow, they are really awful other than Cas. I continue to adore Kaia, both the acting and the writing. The angels tell her they’re using her as bait to lure the Winchesters and Jack, and she scoffs. Kaia: They won’t come for me, you picked the wrong bait. No one’s gonna fight for me. I’m not white, I’m not rich, I’m not blonde. I don’t matter. That line didn’t pull any punches, and it hit many fans very hard. Several people on my timeline posted that there were tears streaming down their faces, they were so shocked and so validated to hear a person of color be that outright on a television show. But Jack and the Winchesters do show up, and the angels try to talk Jack into coming back to Heaven with them, saying he belongs with his own kind. Dick angel: Come home. Jack: (glancing at Sam and Dean): I am home. Me: Tissues! Jack saves the Winchesters’ very fine asses, much to Kaia’s shock. Then try to explain to her who they are and what they do. Winchesters: We’re hunters. Kaia: And he’s the son of Satan. Jack: I am, yes. At some point in here, the actress ad-libbed an under her breath “What the f—k,” which was glorious. And which Sgriccia left in, bless him. The next scene is the one I had a big problem with, as did a fair number of fans. Sam pleads with Kaia to help them find their mom, trying to explain what’s needed.  He even uses his puppy dog eyes. Jack tries too, telling her “we need you.” Dean listens, then adds his own plea, which goes right to the heart of where Dean Winchester’s head is at right now. Dean: We can save her. But Kaia says no. She only goes to the bad place when she dream walks, and she doesn’t come back unscathed. Again, she says no. There’s a loaded pause, and Sam reluctantly says what we’ve heard the Winchesters say many times when someone is reluctant to put their lives on the line. Sam: We’ll find another way… Dean interrupts him, pulling his gun and quietly cocking it. Sam: Dean. Dean? Sam looks shocked, and in my living room, I am literally gaping. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DEAN?? I even had a brief moment of wait, is that Dean? Did he somehow get possessed? Dean: Get in the car. Kaia hesitates, still unwilling. And then the most shocking thing happens – Dean suddenly LOSES IT, brandishing his gun and yelling GET IN THE DAMN CAR! I legit screamed because Dean Winchester scared the crap out of me, and then for some reason, I covered my ears as though that would make it not be happening. (Yes, I know, I’m kinda invested in this tv show, what can I say?) Kaia looks as frightened as me, and she gets in the car – I mean, who WOULDN’T get in the car with Dean Winchester yelling at you like that? My timeline immediately split into “I’m terrified” and “Uh that was weirdly hot” while I felt just like Sam looked – just plain shocked. Dean: We’re going to South Dakota. I think I understand what they’re going for here – why Dean is acting so not Dean. This is his mother, his family. Who is being tortured RIGHT NOW and is screaming for him to help her. He can no more leave her to that than he could leave Sam – he will move heaven and earth to save his family. I know that, I love that about the character. But this just felt a bridge too far for me. Kaia is a teenager (I’m assuming) and a vulnerable one at that. She clearly said no and he ignored it and forced her into the car – he essentially kidnapped her just like the angel dicks did. Not for as nefarious ends, sure, but whoa. I had a hard time reconciling that Dean with the Dean I know and love. I know Dean has been in a bad place himself this season, and I know how prone he is to throw mountains of guilt on himself – and that makes people do pretty crazy things. I’m guessing he can rationalize it with it’s for the ultimate good and he’ll be sure she’s safe, but it becomes clear pretty quickly (and really he knows) that he can’t do that. And we just heard all about her tragic life so far and how awful it is for her to go to the bad place, so forcing her there is just hard to swallow. Maybe it’s the therapist in me, but I was entirely on Kaia’s side in that scene, not Dean’s. And I don’t like that feeling! Sam echoes my discomfort, asking Dean “What are we going to do, force her to dreamwalk at gunpoint?” Me: Exactly!! Dean: We get Mom back no matter what, remember? Pretty sure neither Sam nor I defined it in quite this way, Dean.  That scene still doesn’t sit right with me. I just don’t see Dean going that far, even if I understand his motivation. Jack takes over as the voice of reason (which is really saying something, Dean!), apologizing to Kaia and reassuring her that not everything she sees in dreamwalking has to be the bad place. Jack: Our powers can be good. We can do good in the world. That seems to persuade Kaia more than Dean waving his gun at her (go figure…) but at that moment the angel dicks cut them off and they take refuge in a boat yard. In a big giant abandoned boat. Like, a real boat. Not a VFX boat or a set, but a real boat. Whoa. That scene was amazing, with all the kudos once again to the crew who makes this show look like a motion picture day in and day out. Here's where the suspense ramps up to off the charts, with an incredible musical score by Christopher Lennertz that has my heart pounding right out of my chest. Sam paints sigils throughout the boat as they race higher and higher, a whole gang of angels now after them. Luckily the angels sort of take their time, so Sam gets to paint LOTS of sigils. (I bet Jared had a great time with that, we all know how much he loves painting sigils…NOT) Dean seems to come back to his senses, apologizing to Kaia for dragging (literally) her into this Dean: Sorry to drag you into this, it’s not your fight. But Jack has gotten through to Kaia and she’s on board – and also her survival instincts have kicked in. Kaia: Let’s do it. Sam: What if something goes wrong? Dean: (stating the very obvious) Something already is going wrong! Kaia agrees to dreamwalk and take Jack along, trying to get them all to Mary. Meanwhile, the angels are performing a synchronized sigil-busting ritual we’ve never seen before (canon problem perhaps, or maybe new canon?)  The suspense keeps building as they take down one sigil after another, until only one is keeping them out – and it’s slowly melting. By this time, I was about to have a heart attack. Just in the nick of time, Kaia gets to where Mary is and then screams. Her scream, surprisingly, destroys the angels, and blasts Jack and the Winchesters to different places. Kaia wakes up still in our world, Jack at Mary Winchester’s feet. Sam and Dean wake up in the Vancouver woods, except it’s clearly not. Everything is in desaturated shades of blue, so we know we’re not in Kansas anymore. The portal stays open, which can’t be a good thing. In another part of the country, Patience arrives at Jody’s house. Patience: Something bad is coming…. Meanwhile, Dean comes to and immediately pats Sam on the back. Dean: Sam? Sam: (knowing what Dean needs to hear)  I’m okay, I’m okay. Dean has come through with an angel blade, so that’s good. But that’s clearly the only thing that’s good. Dean: Where the hell are we? The camera pulls up for a wide perspective and we see that where the Winchesters are is.. [caption id="attachment_51848" align="aligncenter" width="696"] Caps by @kayb625[/caption] Standing inside a giant three-toed footprint. I admit I laughed for a second, because for once I was NOT spoiled. Me: DINOSAURS??? But it was a really cool shot and I mean, why the hell not? Supernatural has done just about everything else, and it’s Season 13, and we have Alternate Universes to play in – and besides, it’s Sam and Dean against the world and that is never not going to make me happy.  My timeline lit up with Jurassic Park gifs – timed just as the trailer for the new Jurassic Park movie hit, believe it or not – and lots of bad jokes about Winchesters and dinosaurs. In fact, it was hilariously split between OMG AWESOME and OHNOYOUDIDN’T! But I think ultimately I’m sorta okay with it. Supernatural has jumped the dinosaur? We’ll see. For now, I just want it to be January 18. And not just because that’s my birthday. It’s also the night that the actual Wayward Sisters episode premieres, which I’m taking as some kind of meant to be thing. Kismet!

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E3

Welcome back!  In case you’re new, this is LET ME WATCH TV 4 U (?), the blog where I watch tv so you don’t have to! If you missed it, I wrote a special mid-week post this past week which broke down the main characters called: new phone who dis? Check it out here. 

Also reminder that I have a new feature called “Why does this scene even matter?” (WDTSEM) for those seemingly useless scenes which may or may not actually be important later.

Tonight’s episode featured the FIRST EVER meeting of Bae and Khaleesi, so let’s get into it!

************************SPOILER ALERT************************************

We start off on Dragonstone….

...which is the island where Khaleesi and co have posted up. Bae rows up with no-knuckles in a tiny rowboat and meets his old pal Tyrion on the sand. T is like remember when we met in season 1 and I peed off the edge of the wall that you were guarding lol jk lol jk? And Bae is like yep you were so wasted, bro. They also meet Khaleesi’s hottie translator with the good hair who’s like welcome, please hand over all of your weapons. And Bae’s like BUT I THOUGHT I HAD TSA- PRE CHECK! And T’s like naw, we’ve really had to tighten up our policies here. Some horse-dudes also take their little rowboat away.

As Bae and No-Knuckles (NK) are walking up to meet Khaleesi, her dragons do a quick perimeter sweep and really freak out poor little bae (see gif above). Watching all of this unfold from a creepy high-up-spying-spot is the Red Witch Lady who brought Bae back from the dead but then got kicked out and also Sleevey. The Red Witch is like I did my part, I brought Khaleesi and Bae together. And Sleevey’s like… don’t you want to see their first meeting? I think it might be like the Hamilton-Burr meeting in the musical Hamilton? And she’s like nope I got kicked out for burning a kid alive so not really welcome around him or NK. And he’s like ya you better get to steppin’ back East. And she’s like NO YOU better get to steppin’ back east.

WDTSEM? Truly no idea. I guess we’re supposed to be reminded that Sleevey hates religion because a religious zealot cut off his who-ha and ho-ho’s and therefore they do NOT get along?

Now, if you’ll recall Khaleesi is a pretty kewl lady. She campaigned on an anti-slavery platform back in the East and brought together a bunch of different groups of people all while keeping dat hair and dem outfits on point. And Bae is also a pretty kewl dude. He supports refugees and fights for the underserved and also looks fly as hell doing it. I know what you’re thinking, ARE THEY BOTH SINGLE? THEY SHOULD BONE? Well, unbeknownst to both of them, they’re actually related; she’s his aunt. But considering this episode featured a sex scene between a man and a woman who happen to be TWINS, I feel like aunt-nephew is not too weird for GoT-land. Back to the point, this is the first time Bae and Khaleesi are ever meeting and due to their similarities on paper, you’d think they’d get along. But turns out they do not.

Khaleesi is basically like #bowdownbitches and Bae is like naw dawg. They go back and forth for awhile, with Khaleesi explaining how/why she should overtake Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) and Bae basically agreeing but saying his real concern is the giant army of ice zombies. And she’s like lol wut? Ice zombies? Nice try, dude. Next thing you know, Sleevey rolls up and is like ruh-roh! Remember last episode when our pals Previously-Traumatized Theon (PTT), his sis Yara aka the Kween of the Iron Islands, and the Sand Queen lady sailed off to Southern shore to be mobilize our forces down South? Well PTT and Yara’s uncle, Uncle-Crazy-Pants (UCP) attacked them, burned most of their ships, and took Yara and the Sand-Queen lady hostage.

Next, we get a shot of PTT washing up and getting pulled into a boat where he reports that his sis was taken hostage and no, sorry, he wasn’t able to get her back. His peeps are like ugh what’s your deal, bro? But poor bb PTT has been through a lot so give him a break, ok?!?

WDTSEM? Well the Sand Queen and Yara were supposed to bring together all of Yara’s fleet of ships (which was approx. a buttload) and then head to Sand Queen’s home (Dorne) and bring together that whole army and then march up to King’s Landing, where QPC is sittin’ on dat throne. Now that they’re captured and their ships are burnt, this is a huge loss to Khaleesi.

Speaking of Uncle-Crazy-Pants, let’s check in on him in King’s Landing…

UCP is marching down the streets of King’s Landing doing a pretty good impression of Aladdin during the “Make Way for Prince Ali” scene. The difference here is that he is dragging along his niece, Yara, as well as the Sand Queen (SQ) lady and one her Sand Snake daughters. He struts up to QPC on his horse and “delivers” her the gift of SQ and her daughter. Now if you’ll recall, one of QPC’s kids, her daughter Myrcella, got kissed on the lips with poison by SQ a few seasons ago and proceeded to die on a lovely boat trip in which her dad/uncle (Jaime) confessed that he was her real dad. So needless to say, QPC and Jaime are NOT FANs of this lady.

UCP is like here, QPC, I brought you these prisoners, can we get married and/or bone now? And QPC is like yep, sure can! But first let’s beat Khaleesi in this giant, ongoing war. She tells him he’s in charge of her naval forces and that her bro is in charge of the Lannister army. And since UCP is cuckoo, he’s like hey Jaime, can you give me sex tips for when I do it with your sister (honestly, fair question) and obvi Jaime is like NOT KEWL BRO but he has to pretend to like this guy so he bites his tongue.

Then QPC makes a big deal of locking up SQ and her daughter and then kissing the daughter on the lips with poison to be like #reciprocity I guess? And she’s like SQ will have to watch her daughter die and then also hang out in this cave forever. I guess all this torture is really a turn-on because next thing we know, she’s making out with her brother and giving him a blowie right there.

The next morning, they’re all post-coital and he’s like I should...go? And she’s like naw, I’m the kween we can do whatever! And her maid sees them in their nudididity and is like eww?

Then QPC takes a meeting with an important banker who’s like…bitch...you broke. And she’s like gimme a minute, I got dis.

We stop back by Dragonstone to catch Bae bein’ Bae…

By which I mean he’s brooding by a cliff. And Tyrion is like damn I was trying to brood but you look hawter doing it, which is v. true really. They chat about what went wrong back at that meeting between Khaleesi and Bae. Tyrion tells Bae to take a chill pill and think about how crazy he sounds talkin’ bout ice zombies and whatnot. He also tells Bae about all the good things Khaleesi has done and how she’s actually a pretty cool lady. Then he goes and does the same with Khaleesi, basically. He’s like Bae’s a cool guy and all he wants from you are these rocks that you have under your castle that you’re NOT EVEN USING so just let him do that. And she’s like ok fine.

So then we get to Bae-Khaleesi-meeting 2.0 where it’s just the 2 of them, standing on this cliff chatting kween-to-king. She agrees to let him mine the “dragonglass” (rocks that kill ice zombies) under her castle and he kind of agrees to support her in her campaign against QPC? Well mostly he agrees that QPC is no good and Khaleesi would be a better kween. Then Bae’s like… does this mean you believe me re: ice zombies? And Khaleesi is like… no comment.

We head North to Winterfell, where Bae’s sis Sansa was left in charge

And boy is she doing a good job! Which is kind of surprising, only because we’ve never seen her utilize these skills before. She’s walking around telling people to start storing their barley for winter and telling the metal-workers to line their breastplates with leather and generally being a BOSS. Littlefinger, AS ALWAYS, is creeping around behind her doing nothing helpful. He stops to give her some advice about imagining every possible scenario at all times which is like, sure, a good idea in theory but who has time for that?!?

Suddenly her little bro, Bran, who she was told was maybe dead, shows up in Winterfell. She’s like OMG YASS KWEEN YOU’RE ALIVE! And Bran is just sitting there (to be fair he is paraplegic so he couldn’t get up) staring straight ahead and is acting all robotic. I guess it’s because he’s been through some trauma but at this point so has almost every character on GoT and they still manage to register human emotion.

They proceed to have a heart-2-heart by the old-family-magic-face-tree and she’s like so...what’s been going on in the last 6 seasons? And he’s like I am the three-eyed-raven now I can see the past and the present and all scenarios at all times (hmm interesting that this is exactly what littlefinger just advised her to do...) And she’s like cool….so….do you want to be in charge now since you are the oldest living official Stark male and gender roles are apparently still a BFD up North? And he’s like can’t… I have to prophesize. Btw where’s Bae? We know as savvy viewers that he’s looking for Bae because he needs to tell him about the paternity results. 

And then he vividly describes the night she was married off to her psychopath-ex-husband who then proceeded to rape her. He keeps talking about it, too, which I guess is to prove that he can see the past but also NOT trauma-informed and not a welcome conversation. It’s weird.

We stop by Old Town which is more and more like Hogwarts every day…

Mostly because Jim Broadbent is there and because people are getting miraculously cured from turning-to-stone-diseases. Sam, Bae’s bestie, is still interning at the “maester” academy, learning to be a doctor/librarian and you’ll recall that last week he did some under-the-radar experimental surgery to treat Stoney, who happens to be one of Khaleesi’s besties. Now get this, STONEY IS CURED! The artist-formerly-known-as-Stoney is like thanks, Sam, I gotta get back to Khaleesi! And Sam’s boss is like I know you did that amateur surgery and you’re in big trouble but also good job I’m proud of you.

Our last scene is really a montage of scenes so let’s get into it…

I have to admit that even I, GoT-viewing-expert (lol), was confused and overwhelmed by this last scene. So I’ll try to break it down as clearly as I can, but bear with me. We start with Tyrion laying out the current battle plan. Since Khaleesi is pretty ticked that their ships (well technically Yara’s ships but under her direction) were all destroyed by UCP, she mentions finding UCP’s ships and burning them up. How? Well duh, she got dem dragons! It’s strange because I’m pretty sure she’s talking about riding them and commanding them while at the helm, but she never really says this clearly. And Tyrion is like no that’s too dangerous, someone else should do it. Does he mean himself? MAYBE? TBD...

But for now, let’s get into the current battle zones:

Greyworm (fresh off his recent sex scene from last week) and the rest of the “unsullied” army, were sent by Khaleesi and Tyrion to overtake T’s family home, Casterly Rock. There’s this whole montage that Tyrion helpfully narrates about how if the unsullied were to attack Casterly Rock by just popping up on the fortress, they’d be crushed since it was built so well. BUT since Tyrion used to sneak in his sex ladies and booze and other “unsavory” things through the sewer system, he knows it very well. So he instructs Greyworm and a small group to come in through the back and engage in sneak-attack-warfare. They successfully take Casterly Rock, but they’re like...that’s funny...there were supposed to be a lot more people here? And they look out to the sea where it looks like UCP’s ships are burning up all of the ships they rode in on. Which is a real bummer.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Lannister army (all the people who were missing when Greyworm and co. attacked)  led by Jaime, is shown marching on “Highgarden” which is where Grandma Tyrell (Gma) lives, apparently completely alone. Remember that Gma’s son and grandkids all got burned up in that church-explosion by QPC last season and then she decided to back Khaleesi? She also told Khaleesi not to trust Tyrion and to “be a dragon.” Gma is looking out at this whole army of Lannister dudes and is like well...IDGAF at this point, really. Important to note that Sam’s Dad (who is a major dick) and Sam’s bro (who’s actual name is Dickon) as well as Tyrion’s old pal Bronn are on the front lines with Jaime, even though last week Sam’s dad was like I could NEVER betray Gma Tyrell.

WDTSEM? Remember when QPC said she’d pay back all of her debts to the banker? Well Highgarden is famously wealthy and has lots of important exports (like grains, for example). So with Jaime and QPC in possession of all of that, as well the coffers of Casterly Rock which he says he cleared out, they can now pay them back, theoretically. Also, Highgarden is down South so now QPC and co have a stronghold down there.

Jaime meets Gma in her study for some light refreshments and death threats. Gma is like well… shoulda seen this coming. Also, did you know your sister/lover is the worst human ever? Like seriously a sociopath? And Jaime is like, oh you think she’s so bad? Well how about this? She is going to let you die from poison rather than torture- isn’t that sweet?!? And gma is like ugh whatever give me the poison, put it in my wine plz. She drinks it in one gulp and then she’s like oh, BTW, I know that Joffrey (the evil little prince dude who was poisoned and killed at his wedding to Gma’s granddaughter, Queen Makeunder) is your son cuz of incest and also, I’m the one who poisoned him. And Jaime is like maybe mad or maybe not? Maybe just surprised? Gma is like tell QPC that it was me who killed Joffrey, k? Ps I hate QPC ok bai, time to die. 

WDTSEM? For so long QPC’s only redeeming quality (as told by all of the other characters) was her love for her children. After all 3 had died, she took over the throne and started in on this crazy reign of terror. Now she has SQ captive and is torturing her for killing her daughter and with this admission, she’s also killed the person responsible for one of her son’s deaths. Will ticking off those responsible for killing her main motivation in life help her find closure or make her more of a monster? I’d guess the latter.

Now let’s break it down:

Biggest surprise this ep: The attack on Highgarden! I did not see that coming and also did not fully understand at first. The way the scene was shot, it seemed like gma was in on this invasion, but obviously she was not, as she was later killed by said invaders.

Biggest letdown: Bran was so lackluster and un-enthuz’ed about finally seeing his sister and his hometown again. It’s like we get that you have magic powers now but could you show some effort here?

Important fashion moments: Bae’s meeting-the-kween-but-I-also-have-armor-on look was pretty fly and even though she is THE WORST, I was feeling the red-witch-lady’s linen-y red scarf/cape 

Who died this ep? The Sand Queen’s daughter (the last of the “Sand Snakes”), a bunch of unsullied soldiers out at sea, and Olenna Tyrell (aka gma Tyrell) RIP. 

Check in this time next week for more LMWTV4U and thanks for reading. Tell your friends!

Correction: I’ve recently discovered that I’ve been spelling Jaime Lannister’s name wrong for my entire blog-writing career. My apologies. 

Also, you might IDGAF this but just to lay it out there, I purposefully avoid all other recaps/reviews/think-pieces about the latest episode in the time between watching the ep and writing this recap. Sometimes I will hop on to the GoT wiki page to find out a character’s name or check a fact but mostly it’s just my own notes that I reference. 

WHY AM I EVEN SAYING THIS? I often will read other recaps/reviews after writing and posting this one and I’m like OMG WE HAD THE SAME REACTION/ SAID THE SAME THING about a scene or a character. So I guess I just wanted to say that any similarities between this recap and any other recap are unintentional and coincidental. 

I know what you’re thinking: PROVE IT. Well, much like Bae trying to prove the ice zombies are real, I can’t prove it, I can only state the facts and hope that my time-worn face and honest peepers will be enough :)