#i love him so much i genuinely shed tears no joke | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katebishopsbow · 11 months ago

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SOMEDAY IT WILL ALL BE OKAY • MAX VERSTAPPEN

pairing: max verstappen x driver!reader (platonic)

summary: watching kevin and his daughter, laura, playing together at the paddock makes you emotional as you remember the love that you never get to receive growing up. max is here to remind you that your past doesn't define you, and one day you will be okay.

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, daddy issues, mentions of absent parent

word count: 3.1k

author's notes: based on the real-life event of me tearing up when i saw that video of kmag's daughter playing with his visor. healing my own daddy issues one fic at a time :)

(image is not mine)

─────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───────

Kevin Magnussen is a great dad.

People can say whatever they want about his driving – aggressive and maybe a little dangerous sometimes – but there is no denying that he is an amazing father who puts his daughters above all else. The Dane is always joking about how his two little troublemakers have been giving him a constant headache, but the rest of the grid knows that he would do just about anything for his girls.

Occasionally, Louise likes bringing Laura and Agnes to the track to see their dad at work. Being a Formula 1 driver with all the hectic schedules and non-stop traveling means that family time together can often be difficult to come by, so Kevin cherishes all the time he gets to be as present in their lives as possible.

The drivers all love it when the Magnussens visit the track, not only because Laura and Agnes are the sweetest little angels ever, but also because they get to witness the rare sight of Kevin “tough guy” Magnussen shedding his hard exterior and tease him about the heartwarmingly softer side he displays to his family.

And while you would never admit this out loud, somewhere residing deep within you is envious – envious of this kind of love that you never got to receive. Sometimes when you look at Kevin interacting with his daughters – just sometimes – you find yourself wondering what it would be like to have a father who is present, who genuinely cares, who loves you with everything they have so much that you never have to doubt your worthiness.

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

You were standing with a few other drivers at the track, idly chatting about the upcoming race and your holiday plans now that the winter break is right around the corner when Kevin suddenly saunters nearby, holding the hand of the most adorable little girl. “Laura, come say hi!” he kneels down and says to her, sporting the biggest and most loving smile on his face as his daughter gives a shy little wave to the crowd of drivers before her.

“Hey there, Laura,” you wave at her, settling on a simple greeting since you have never been particularly great with children. “Hello, little one!” Lando greets with a wide grin as he offers Laura a fist bump, and the girl explodes into giggles when he pretends to yelp in pain at how hard Laura fist-bumped him. Classic Lando – always so good with kids.

“She’s got quite the punch, doesn’t she?” Kevin jokes while he chuckles at the sight, admiring the joyous smile on Laura’s face with the tenderest gaze he only reserves for his daughter. Becoming a father is the best thing that has happened to him, and he thanks the stars every day for being blessed with such precious gifts of life. Laura and Agnes – his biggest pride and joy.

“Here to be dad’s little assistant, Laura?” Max asks, his nose scrunching up in an adoring smile like the way it always does when he speaks to Penelope. The little girl nods bashfully before running to hide behind her dad, holding onto his hands as if he is her safe place, her rock.

Kevin laughs at his daughter’s endearing shyness, picks her up and envelops her in his embrace before placing a kiss on her rosy, chubby cheeks. “You’re the best assistant in the entire world,” he whispers softly, adoration swimming in his eyes while Laura lets out a giggle at her father’s words. The drivers around them cannot help but smile along with them – how can they not at such a heartwarming sight?

Yet watching Kevin’s doting smiles and the way he looks at his daughter as if she is his entire universe, the initial warm fuzziness within you silently morphs into a dull ache that squeezes at your heart – an odd yet familiar feeling you know all too well. Despite your best efforts to push them away, your mind becomes clouded with hazy memories of the past – the painful past that has broken you and haunted you for years.

In the fogged-up memories of your childhood days, you were never at the receiving end of such an affectionate gaze. The only way your father has ever looked at you was indifference, annoyance, and a sense of uncaringness that tore your little heart up into pieces and left you wondering what you did wrong to be so undeserving of the fatherly love you yearned for.

He never picked you up and hugged you as if you were a fragile treasure that he cherished. He never held your hand in a way that made you feel safe and certain that nothing could ever harm you because he would be your shield, protecting you from the world and its merciless cruelty. He never once made you feel loved and cared for, ignoring your attempts to gain his validation and approval because he loved himself and his ego more than he would ever love you.

When you received good grades at school and showed him your report card with the rows of A’s, hoping that it would help you get his approval, he didn’t praise you. In fact, he didn’t bother saying anything. He simply gave you a half-hearted nod before shifting his attention back to the damned television screen in front of him, some uninteresting TV show that never should have mattered more than his daughter. So you stuffed the tear-stained report card back into your school bag, uncaring that it got crushed and crumpled, because in the end your hard work and effort didn’t matter. It never did.

When you had a rough day at school and came home with tears running down your cheeks, your father looked at you for a second, rolled his eyes and walked away. So that night you cried yourself to sleep as you soaked through your pillows with your wallowing tears, wishing that your dad could wrap you in his arms and tell you that everything would be okay. You knew that he could hear your sobs across the hallway, but chose to ignore you anyway. You wondered if he hated you that much, or was it simply because he never even cared to begin with?

And when he finally gathered all his belongings and disappeared from your life once and for all, you surprised yourself when you didn’t cry at the sight of the now-empty house. You had just felt empty and lonely – so painstakingly lonely. The kind of loneliness that seeped into your bones and slithered along your veins and consumed your soul.

As you grew older, you became familiarized with that emptiness – comfortable with it even. You begin to find yourself pushing people away when they get too close, keeping most at arm's length because that seems like the safest option, breaking your own heart before others can do it because you never want to experience the same heartbreak your father has put you through.

Despite how painful it is, you hold onto that loneliness like a lifeline because how could you not when that’s the only thing you know? How could you love when you don’t even know what it feels like?

Even though it had been years since your dad had left, the emptiness he had left behind never seemed to fade away. They say time heals all wounds, but you call that bullshit, because then why does it still hurt like a fresh stab into the heart?

Too deep in your storm of thoughts, you don’t realize the tears brimming in your glossy eyes and the way your lips quiver ever so slightly. “Hey… you okay there?” Charles, who is standing beside you, gives you an affectionate pat on the shoulders and whispers hushedly in your ear, worried at your sudden change in demeanor. Quickly nodding your head, you answer him with the best smile you can manage, “Yeah, just remembering some things.”

While most of the drivers still have their focus on Kevin and Laura, a few have also noticed your red-rimmed eyes and quietness. “What’s wrong?” Lando mouths the question silently toward you, eyes wide in concern as he tries not to shift everybody’s attention toward you. You shake your head and mouth “nothing” in reply to him as discreetly as possible, not wanting to ruin the group’s mood with your sudden sentiments.

As much as you want to stay, you simply need to get away for a moment to recollect your thoughts. “Uh – There’s something I need from my driver’s room, so I’m gonna head off,” you hurriedly blink away the tears and put on the best smile – a skill you learned to master after years of being in the public’s eye. You hope that the excuse you just blurted out is somewhat believable, and you quickly disappear into the distance after your fellow drivers bid you goodbye.

While making a beeline for your driver's room, you cannot help but feel so embarrassed, so guilty for the sudden burst of emotions that erupted in your chest moments ago. “What is wrong with me?” you mumble hushedly to yourself as you make your way to the garage – irritated and beyond annoyed at yourself that the mere sight of Kevin with his daughter is enough to bring you to tears.

This isn’t something new to you. It isn’t the first time a good father-daughter relationship has made you tear up. Movies, TV shows, song lyrics – you always get so emotional when you allow yourself to get lost in your thoughts, thinking too deeply about the painful reminders of the love that you never have.

It makes you feel stupid, because how broken do you have to be that trivial things like these are enough to make you cry? And it makes you feel scared, so utterly scared, because what if you were too broken to ever be capable of loving someone this much, too damaged to ever receive love despite yearning for it, and end up pushing away everyone who cares about you for the rest of your life.

When you arrive at your driver's room, you take a seat in the corner, breathing in and out while the self-blaming thoughts inside your head spiral in full force. This is so stupid, you are being stupid, and you hate yourself for being a fool and letting your past trauma affect you like this. Why were you even crying? There is nothing to be crying for. Stop. You need to stop.

Then you hear someone calling your name, voice faint and soft behind the door – Max. “You feeling okay?” he asks, and your delayed response and trembling voice as you answer him, “I’m fine.” are a clear enough indicator that you are far from okay. “Alright, I’m gonna come in now.” A sigh of mixed emotions falls from your lips – annoyance that you never seem to be able to lie to the man, and gratefulness that he always understands what you really need, and right now it is the company of your best friend.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says to you, eyebrows ceasing in sadness when he notices the expression on your face. Max hates seeing you like this, especially knowing the reason behind your tears is your absent father – someone who will never be worthy of having you cry over him.

You wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your race suit, guilt weighing heavily on your chest as you apologize, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to ruin the mood back there. Did the other drivers notice?” Max shakes his head with a frown, refusing to let you blame yourself for something you should never feel guilty for. “You don’t have to be sorry, you did nothing wrong.”

“I don’t even know why I am crying, honestly. Why am I still so angry and sad after all these years? It’s like… am I always going to be like this, broken? Will the hurt ever go away?” you explain truthfully to him while trying to piece your muddle-up thoughts together, yet you struggle to put them into words. How can you begin to explain the years of trauma your dad has left behind? How can you describe the mess of emotions you have for him – the hatred, the resentment, and the fact that you still love and miss him so much even after everything he has done to you?

You don’t need to, because Max understands, he always does. One of the reasons why you two became close quickly is because you share a similar, troubled past – something that is rather unfortunate to bond over, you would argue, but it brings you a great friend nonetheless. Max’s father isn’t exactly absent like yours – Jos Verstappen is still quite prominent in his life, along with his abusive and manipulative ways of raising his kids which he would vehemently deny and claims to be “tough love” instead.

Even though he is there, it doesn’t change the painful truth that the presence of his father has ruined Max. For years, he thought being violent was the way to solve problems because his dad always seemed to be able to solve his with his fist. He used to believe that you had to be perfect to be deserving of good things in life because he grew up with the punishment of “no dinner” if he had performed poorly in a race. He didn’t know if he would ever be capable of loving someone, and then he met Kelly and Penelope.

“You know… when I first met Penelope, I was terrified. I was scared that I could never be a good enough father figure for her, that I was too ruined to show her the love she deserved to have. But then I saw her, and then I realized I love her more than anything,” he confesses as he places himself to sit beside you, a reminiscent smile dancing on his lips while he remembers his first time meeting Penelope, the little girl who has become his family.

He remembers the suffocating fear of ending up like his father when he first held the hands of little Penelope, mind plagued with all the horrible what-ifs. What if he was a terrible dad? What if he couldn’t ever love Penelope? What if he was just like Jos Verstappen and ended up destroying her childhood with his anger and temper the way his dad had with his?

Then Penelope gave him a sweet smile, her tiny hand holding onto his pinky as she looked into his eyes with such trust and comfort, as if she knew that Max would love her more than anything in the world. Max genuinely thought he was going to cry, his heart surging with an overwhelming amount of love and determination to protect the little girl in front of her and give her the home she and Kelly deserve to have, and that’s when he knew that he had nothing to be afraid of – that he was going to do better than his father.

“Listen, kiddo. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just makes the pain bearable. But there will be a day when your wound will still be there – it always will be there – but the pain and the hatred will no longer consume you. And you will realize that you can be better and stronger than your past, that you can break the cycle, that you are deserving of such unconditional love too.” You listen quietly to your best friend’s answer, exhaling a relieved sigh at the words you so desperately need to hear, giving you hope that despite all your trauma, one day you will be able to love with such certainty as well.

You are never too broken to love or be loved. You are not damaged goods that need repairing. You are not a monster for being intimidated by love and affection, for pushing people away even though you want more than anything for them to stay. You just need to allow yourself to heal from the hurtful past, to understand that your past trauma does not define you. You need to allow yourself to feel, to accept the depths of your emotions, to understand that your sadness and anger are always valid. You need to believe that you will be better than your father, that you will not follow in his footsteps, and that you deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else.

Feeling sentimental over this doesn’t make you stupid or a fool, it just makes you human. It is okay to cry over it, to be sad over it, as long as you remember that one day – while things will never be perfect – it will certainly get better.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Max tells you with a smile, reaching for your hand to give it a comforting squeeze, and you believe him. For once in a very long time, you genuinely believe that everything is going to be okay. The impact your father has on you will always be there. You can never wipe away the hurt and awful things he has done to you, nor can you simply erase the simultaneous love and hatred you hold for him, but one day you will learn to move on and find closure, and you are going to be okay, just like Max said.

There is a knock on the door, and you can hear your name being called again, this time in the soft and squeaky voice of a little girl. “I’m here,” you answer, and peeking behind the gap in the door is Laura with a cheeky grin on her face. Kevin leads her inside your driver's room with an apologetic smile, “Hey, sorry… Laura says she wants to play with you and insists that I bring her here.”

You watch as Laura crawls up into the seat next to you and Max, looking at you with the brightest toothy little grin ever, and your lips begin pulling up into a huge smile as well. “Is it okay if she plays here for a while? I’ve got a team meeting in 5 and she never likes coming to those…” Kevin asks apologetically before relief floods his expression when you answer him, “It would be lovely to have a little playdate with Laura.”

“Alrighty, see you later little one,” Kevin leans down to place a kiss on his daughter’s head, reminding her to be a good kid when he is away for the meeting, and you smile at the sight. Not an envious one, or a reminiscent one, but one of contentment because you know that one day you will be able to receive and give such unconditional love to someone too.

Someday, it will be okay. You will be okay.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen imagine #kevin magnussen x reader #f1 drivers x reader

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604to647 · 4 months ago

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Safest with You (Ch. 20 - The Way to Get Over Someone, Part 1)

8.6K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: Five months pass as you and Din try to forget one another.

Warnings: 18+ Content to be safe (MDNI please). Angst! (like a lot) Yearning, pining, mourning. People are hard on themselves in this one, folks. Nicknames (Din still thinks of you as Pretty Bird even though you're no longer his Pretty Bird; you're still Lil' Lady to Paz). And there is mild violence (of the Rory variety).

A/N: Thank you to everyone for being so patient with me! It's been a month since Ch. 19 and I guess this word count reflects that 😅😂 It could have been a little shorter but this ask convinced me to include the final scene instead of leaving it for the next chapter 🫣🤷🏻‍♀️ For that final scene, please imagine the suit/look from the Variety Hollywood issue shoot. The vibes of this and the next chapter is this scene in Twilight New Moon (cue 🎶it's a possibilityyyyyy🎶):

Dividers by @saradika-graphics / Series Masterlist

The week following that night at Din’s, you’re a shell of a person. You cry for entire days but not much else - going on auto pilot taking care of Al but not yourself. You don’t go to brunch that weekend, saying you feel disgusting, which honestly isn’t too far from the truth. You’ve never been cheated on so you hardly know what it is you feel, only that an unyielding and tempestuous monsoon of emotions swirls inside you at all hours of the day. You oscillate wildly between barely restrained hysteria, self-effacing shame, and sadness in an endless cycle.

To only your dog, you sometimes burst out half crying, half laughing at the absurdity of what you stumbled upon at Din’s apartment – how was it even possible? Din, who you had loved with your whole heart, had pledged himself to you as you had him. He had been your match in every way, and it was a tenant of his devotion that he only ever wanted to take care of you, make your life better. How could the same man, without any warning, betray you in such an unfeeling and vulgar manner? It simply could not be possible - it had to have been some type of cruel joke, you sob to Al.

Then in an instant, you’ll turn your ire unto yourself: How could you have allowed this to happen? Because it certainly did. You stupidly let yourself be so blinded by love and desire that you didn’t see Din for what he was. He wasn’t some honourable and noble protector; he was just some asshole who did and said what he needed to get his dick wet – and like an idiot you had fallen for it. You were supposed to smarter than that, but it turns out you were just susceptible to a handsome face and a fat cock as anyone else. The Din you had fallen for had been a total fabrication, and the dumbest part is that you had let him lie to you: you had blindly accepted that there were things in his life that he could never be fully honest with you about - that there were things that he just had to keep secret from you for your “own protection.” You had accepted dishonesty as part of your so-called relationship right off the bat, it was no wonder that none of it had been real. Stupid, stupid.

Though you know now that it had all been lie, you still have moments, usually in the dead of night when sleepiness strips you of your ability to reason and overthink, where you simply just mourn. Mourn the loss of what you had thought, no - felt in the very depth of your heart was a true, deep love. It didn’t matter that it had all been an invention of your mind – the love you felt had been genuine for you, and you had cherished and held it dear. The tears you shed during these periods of grieving are for the loss of your own false happiness and for the man that you had believed it. It didn’t matter that they were never real to begin with, you had lost them all the same.

Your fog extends into the work week and you do something you haven’t done in ages: you take it off citing illness – you sleep, cry and try not to think of the crushing backlog you’ll face when you eventually return to work. Near the end of the week, you make a phone call that you’ve been dreading but know is necessary. Lala comes over the same day on her lunch hour – she thought you were just sick, having taken your excuse for missing the last brunch at face value, but when you burst into tears upon seeing her, she immediately knows that something is terribly, terribly wrong.

Taking you straight to her clinic, she slots you in with a fellow nurse right away so you can get what you’ve been dreading over with. During the self-blame episodes of your emotion spiral, the weight of Din’s cheating and its possible consequences aside from the shattering of your heart have started to press down on you. You definitely don’t need one more anxiety to occupy your thoughts, and this particular problem you could do something about. You need to do something and accordingly you find yourself sitting in the clean but impersonal examination room answering the very kind nurse’s survey questions to determine what tests you need.

“Is there any particular reason you need a screening or is this routine?”

“My boyfriend cheated on me,” you say this flat, factually.

“Oh. I’m sorry. How long was your relationship?” her response is similarly dispassionate.

“Nearly a year.”

“During that time, how many sexual partners did you have?”

“Just the one.”

“Had you been tested prior to engaging in sexual activities with your partner?”

“Yes, all clean.”

“Was you partner tested?”

“He said he was clean.” You can only answer what Din told you, with no confidence in whether or not it was the truth.

“Do you know how many other partners your partner had while you were together?”

“… no.” Tears start to line your lower lash line.

“How long was he engaging in sexual activities with other partners?”

“… I really don’t know.” Oh no, oh no, you’re going to cry. Because you really don’t know any of it. It's awful enough imaging that Din had been messing around with Vanessa the whole time that you and him had been together – if he was capable of that, who’s to say there weren’t others?

“Ok. To identify the tests you need, I just need to ask about your sexual activities with your partner over the last year. Is that okay?”

“Yes.”

“Did you kiss on the mouth?”

“Yes.”

“Did you engage in vaginal fingering?”

“Yes.”

“Anal fingering? Receiving, giving?”

“Yes. No.”

“Did you engage in oral sex? Receiving, giving?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Did you engage in penetrative vaginal sex?”

“Yes.”

“With protection? Or without?”

“Without.” This is the only question you answer with shame. Yes, everything had been consensual, but this – the decision to not use condoms was one made based on a mutual trust; a trust you gave openly and willingly to someone who hadn’t deserved it. You had been careless in this respect – caught up in your feelings and your mistaken instinct that had told you Din was worth trusting.

“Did you engage in penetrative anal se-“

And so on, and so forth. To the best of your ability, you answer clinically and without feeling, trying not to let the white hot flames of shame and anger simmering in your stomach boil up and over. You had trusted Din, with your heart yes, but also your body. One of the things you had loved about Din was how he always seemed to prioritized both your emotional and physical comfort and safety during your sexual activities, but for possibly the entirety of your relationship, he had actually been putting you in danger – taking a risk for you that you hadn’t consent to. You don’t know how many other partners he was with when he was with you or if he had been safe with them – his cavalier approach to your health makes you sick.

This feels good. It feels good to be angry instead of sad.

You wait patiently for the nurse to return with the swabs and containers and other equipment you need to self administer the tests. Silently and alone, you follow the instructions while hot tears cascade over your cheeks. It had felt good to be angry at Din for a moment, but it took more energy than you had to sustain it; the anger burned out quickly, leaving behind only sadness and embarrassment for having allowed yourself to be put in this position at all.

After leaving the samples where directed, you redress and meet Lala back in the waiting room and she takes you home. You tell her that it’s okay if she tells the rest of the girls what happened, but you don’t know if you can deal with talking about it just yet and she nods understandingly. You know your friends will be supportive (and possibly violent), but the strength required to feel your feelings and simultaneously express and explain them out loud doesn’t sound like something you have right now. Not for the first time, you’re grateful that your friends are unflinchingly kind and understanding of you.

By the time the next Sunday brunch rolls around, your internal reservoir levels for self pity and destructive thoughts have lowered considerably. You’re mainly just sad for what you thought was and what will never be, wallowing in the loss of what you had imagined would be a happy future with Din.

The girls are not quite that far along in their emotional journeys, but you’re better equipped now to answer their questions and receive their outbursts and reactions. They all have choice words for Din ranging from lying cheating bastard to dickless waste of DNA. Threats of violence to his personal (and commercial) property, as well as his physical being are put forth, predictably by Rory and less predictably from Katie. Bea and Jen focus on drilling into you that you’re in no way at fault and that you hadn’t been wrong or stupid to trust and love Din the way you did. Lala, being the only one to have seen you when you were in your darkest place, just holds your hand firmly, giving it a reassuring squeeze every so often. You cry into your eggs and your friends shower you with comfort and support until you feel a little more like a human who is loved again.

One month ATN (After That Night)

Oof - you’re hungry. It’s been a long morning of straight through meetings with no breaks until only now. Well past lunch, it’s later than you would usually come, but you hope that your favourite sandwich shop still has some good options left – you’re starving.

Walking in, the shop isn’t busy (which honestly makes sense as it’s nearing 2:00 pm) and the take away fridge is fairly bare, but with some satisfaction, you see your favourite sandwich sitting all by its lonesome on the top shelf. Hand already out as you approach the refrigerated display, you reach up on your toes, just to have a big hand dart in ahead of your smaller one and snatch the sandwich out of your reach.

Falling back on the flats of your feat, you’re comically upset – this sandwich was your reward for your overly hectic morning and your disappointment is being further fueled by rising levels of hangry. Maybe this nice man will offer you back the sandwich if you ask kindly; ready to give this sandwich stealer the sweetest most saccharine smile you can muster, you turn to face him and…

“Paz?”

“Lil’ Lady?”

This could be awkward. You had loved Paz too. Part of the great sense of loss you felt when you and Din broke up was from also suddenly losing the friendships you had made through him. The Mandos, Poe and Lisa, Cass and even Boba had made up what had become a little family to you; the sense of belonging and love you had felt when they welcomed you into their fold and treated you as one of their own was one that you had treasured – their trust in you was not something you took lightly and you had kept their secrets with pride. You had loved them all as well.

Of course, like a knife to the heart, you’ve since come to the hurtful realization that those friendships were not as true or deep as you had thought either. In all likelihood, Din’s friends were probably well aware of his cheating, or at the very least that his feelings for you didn’t run as deep as yours did him. Though it saddened you, you couldn’t exactly be mad – their loyalty was to Din, not you. At one time you may have felt some bitterness at this, but right now, seeing Paz for the first time after so long… you feel only happiness at seeing an old friend.

There’s a beat of silence and then it seems you both reach for a hug - it’s quick but warm.

“How have you been?” you ask, simultaneously; chuckling with you, Paz gestures for you to go first.

“Oh,” you don’t really know how to answer; Paz will surely know what transpired between you and Din. Devastated? Crushed? Facing a crisis of self-confidence? You opt for a watered-down version of the truth, “I’m as good as expected. Busy at work.”

“Same. With work, that is,” Paz smiles warmly at you; he’s missed you too.

“You down here for work today?” Suddenly recalling that Din had been downtown for Mando work the first time you met, you try not to let the pain of the memory show on your face.

“Yup. Work.” Paz won’t tell you that he’s on a security detail, even though its not yours (you're under the careful watch of Koska and Iggy today).

You’re not going to ask about Din. You’re not going to ask about Din, “How is… everyone?”

Paz assumes you must mean Din but he doesn’t know how to answer your question. A shell of a man? A man possessed when it came to the investigation into the threat made against you? Depressed as all hell? Paz can only parrot back your earlier response, “Uh, as well as can be expected. Things have been tense, there’s a lot of stuff going on.”

You obviously don’t ask for details – it’s not your place anymore, and in truth, you feel like it never really was but you try to smile anyways, “Well, you can have the sandwich then.”

Paz looks down at the sandwich he’s still holding in his hand and laughs, “Are you sure?”

Nodding happily, it feels good to joke around with Paz again, “Definitely. I’m here everyday. I can have it anytime.”

“Ok, only if you let me buy you your sandwich, Lil' Lady.”

Beaming, you acquiesce, “Deal.”

Grabbing another sandwich from the fridge, you join Paz in line; the two of you standing together in comfortable silence. You don’t know how it happens but a question that’s been silently buzzing in your mind slips out without permission, “Paz – can I ask you? Are Din and Vanessa still together?”

You regret it the second the words leave your mouth, tears springing to your eyes. Looking up at Paz, wide-eyed and embarrassed, you cover your mouth with your hands as if trying to magically stuff the words back in, “Omigod!! Paz! I’m sorry! That was... oh gosh... just really, really inappropriate of me. Please don’t answer. I never should have asked that. Seriously. Don’t answer please. Besides, I don’t think either answer would make me very happy.”

Paz gives you a warm side hug and a sad look before he says reassuringly, “It’s okay, Lil’ Lady. Don’t worry about it.” He insists on buying you a cookie when you get up to the counter and you accept gratefully – you need all the comfort you can get right now.

The two of you say your quiet, but friendly goodbyes on the sidewalk outside of the sandwich shop; each genuinely hoping you’ll see the other again, but knowing that you likely won’t.

---

Paz is hovering. Din can feel it, but he doesn’t look up from his seat on the ringside bench where he’s checking through an equipment list on his clipboard.

Paz continues to shuffle around until Din sighs and gives in to what his friend so obviously wants; looking up and tilting his head as his way of saying 'What?'

“Saw the Lil' Lady today.”

Immediately, Din’s heart leaps into his throat and his now empty chest constricts painfully; forcing himself to look back down at his paperwork, Din only grunts to acknowledge that he heard Paz. Clearly Paz has something to say and in all the time they’ve been friends, Din has never been able to get Paz to keep his thoughts to himself, so he just waits.

“Ran into her at a sandwich shop near her office. She looks good.”

Silence.

“She gave me her sandwich.”

Din closes his eyes, “Was it the egg salad?”

“Yeah. How did you know?” Paz can’t hide the surprise in his voice.

“It’s her favourite,” Din says simply.

For some reason, this takes all of the wind out of Paz’s sails and he lays a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder. “She asked how everyone was, but it’s clear she was thinking of you. Why don’t you call her, brother?”

Even if the whole point of what he had done to you wasn’t so you would stay as far away from him as possible, Din can’t imagine a world where you would want to talk to him, “She hates me. I fucked up, and I hurt her. She doesn’t think about me.”

Paz doesn’t want to bring up your question about Vanessa, but he can’t help but think it must mean something that you asked at all, “Maybe she’ll forgive you.”

Din is done with this conversation; he gets up and starts to head towards his office, “I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t deserve her.”

Two Months ATN

Din never allows himself to see you. You’re a creature of habit and for the most part, your life after him has reverted to normal; it would be so easy for him to catch a glimpse of you whenever he needed to see for himself that you’re alright. If he was lucky, he might even catch one of your many soft and sweet expressions that he misses so much and be able to pretend for a moment that it was for him.

But he doesn’t allow it. Part of it is a means of self punishment – Din chastises himself endlessly for hurting you; he doesn’t deserve to look upon your face, he doesn’t deserve any comfort. But ultimately, it really comes down to his own lack of self control.

Din makes the mistake of checking in with your daytime security detail in person only once, a couple of weeks after your breakup. Din is chatting with Mayfeld through the latter’s rolled down car window, when, as if he senses your very presence, he looks up to see you exiting your office building looking positively elated at being able to leave work at a decent hour (for you) – your quick and graceful steps towards the subway easily hold Din’s gaze through no effort of your own and his body starts to move towards you of his own accord. He may have very well walked right into oncoming traffic trying to get to you if Miggs didn’t have a firm grip on the back of his shirt.

No, he has absolutely no self control when it came to you. Every part of Din yearns for every part of you. Your smile, your laugh, the sweetness of your very being and the steadfast comfort of your company. He wishes for nothing more than to make you happy again, to be there for you to lighten your load, to make you laugh so hard you snort, the way he used to pride himself on being able to do; what he wouldn’t give to hear you coo sweetly to Al, to swim in the melodic lilt of your voice when you recall a funny story from work or your friends, or to drink in your heady moans and cries while he gave you every pleasure you deserved.

Din knows that if he allowed himself to be in your presence for even a moment, he would throw himself at your feet and beg for forgiveness. Plead and grovel until you took him back and then everything, the very reason for all this misery, would be for naught. He would do anything to see you, hear you, have you again, except risk your safety. So, he leaves the protocol for your security to others, and he never lets himself go where he knows you might be – he exercises what control he has, so that he never loses control where it counts the most.

But his dreams he cannot control. And Din dreams of you constantly.

He comes to both look forward to and dread these dreams. In his dreams you don’t hate him, and they almost always start off with you looking at him like you used to, with love and admiration. Sometimes the two of you are in a memory, maybe a special date or occasion, or even better, doing something beautifully mundane like walking Al – something the two of you did a million times without thought, just a routine part of the life you had started to build together. But more often than not, the two of you are in bed. Sometimes his, sometimes yours, but always just looking, talking, touching. Din could live in these quiet moments of devotion forever.

But the dreams never end well. He discovered that once you left the bed in the dream, you would disappear. Getting up to find you, Din would find the apartment empty and quiet and no matter where he goes in the dream afterwards, you would be nowhere to be found. After this happened a few times, he would try to keep you in bed or at the very least, not let you out of Dream Din’s sight, but it never works. No matter what he does, by the end of the dream you’re not his anymore.

A horrifying recurrence as of late is that he follows Dream You into your kitchen to find Vanessa sitting at the island while you, crying, start to cook breakfast at the stove for him and her. He recognizes the look you give him whenever he reaches this part of the dream, it’s the same one you gave him on that last night on his apartment landing – the look of devastation, betrayal, shock. Your unspoken How could you? You were supposed to love me above all else, haunts him even after he wakes with a start. Every time Din has this dream, he relives what he did to you and he feels sick.

Even when it’s not this particular iteration, Din wakes from every nightmare of losing you again sweating and regretting everything. In these moments, alone in a bed that’s remained cold and uninviting since you last graced it with your soft body, Din tears into himself. What the fuck was his problem anyways? He had made his proverbial bed and now he has to lie in it. What would have been the fucking point of putting you through all this if he was just going to be a weak ass piece of shit and run back to you because it killed him to be apart from you? Put you through hell and then put you in danger? No, he can't run from it anymore: this is the price he has to pay for being who he is, for having done the things he had – he doesn't deserve good things. He doesn't deserve you.

What he does deserve is this cruelest of ironies: that the only way he's still allowed to love you is to take care of you by keeping you as far away from him as possible.

Four Months ATN

Oy! Din Djarin!!

Startled by the loud and sharp toned voice that carries over the noise of traffic, Din stops in his tracks; turning towards the sound of the bark, he recognizes your friend Rory barreling towards him. For a moment, he’s terrified that she might get hit by a car crossing the street to get at him, but the cars somehow seem to understand the determination of her gait and the ferocity in her facial expression and all roll to a stop at her outstretched hand. You always said that Rory was a force.

Din waits dumbly in the middle of the sidewalk, ready to take the inevitably beating, verbal or otherwise – certain he could not escape her wrath even if he wanted to. Perhaps he would be tempted to try if he didn’t wholeheartedly believe that he deserves whatever is about to come his way.

As soon as Rory steps up onto the curb, two balled up fists of rage ram right into Din’s chest, the force of which, if he had not been braced for it, might have sent this former boxing champ flying backwards.

You!!!

An accusatory finger is now poking him incessantly, over and over, pushing right into his sternum.

Din holds his two hands up, as if to surrender, but doesn’t do anything to stop her oncoming assault. It’s starting to hurt a little, but he knows he deserves it and more.

Liar!

Cheater!

Pathetic!

Asshole.

Garbage human.

Piece of shit.

How you could do that to her?!

She did nothing but love you.

She’s the sweetest, kindest, most loving person you will ever fucking be with, and this is how you treat her?

You ungrateful worm.

You’ll never find anyone better than her.

You never fucking deserved her, you twat.

Din takes every angry word spat at him with a resigned expression and downcast eyes. Every word is true and he knows it. He welcomes this even. No one has been angry with him, except save himself. Not Paz, or any of the Mandos, not even Boba. No one has yelled at him or hurled insults at him, or called him out for the despicable person he is to have hurt you the way he did. His sweet, pretty bird. No, not his anymore. He swallows every single one of Rory’s admonishments willingly and his head might even slightly nod in agreement.

Don’t you have anything to say for yourself, you fucking coward?

Arms dropping to his side in defeat, Din hangs his head and asks the only thing he wants to know, even though he's sure he isn’t allowed, “How is she?”

How is she?! What the fuck do you mean ‘how is she’? How the fuck do you think she is??

“What I mean is… I’m not still hurting her, am I?”

Silence.

“She’s okay now, right? She hates me, but I don’t matter anymore? She doesn’t think of me enough to still hurt her?”

Rory stops and evaluates the man standing in front of her. He looks… broken. She’s been throwing all her weight into every push, poke, smack she’s laid on Din and he’s taken it all. Absorbed it along with every harsh word out of her mouth; he hasn’t fought back or even flinched - almost as if he wants her to hit him. To scream at him. And now, with the only words he’s spoken, he’s asking to confirm, with what almost sounds like hope, that you’ve forgotten him. Din’s choice of words strike Rory as odd. He wants to make sure he’s not “still hurting” you??

Suddenly, her mouth drops open as she retracts her hands, “… you didn’t do it.”

Din looks shocked and almost terrified. He opens and closes his mouth several times but nothing comes out. No denial or refute of what Rory now realizes has been completely obvious.

“You didn’t cheat on her. You never cheated on her,” Rory’s tone is softer now, but determined and confident. She’s leaving no room for argument, not letting Din worm his way out of the truth.

With a sigh, Din has no choice but to confess, “How could I? Why would I ever want anyone but her? The most perfect creature to ever exist.” If he had seemed defeated before, Din is now positively deflating right before Rory’s eyes.

“You love her.” Again, not a question.

“Always. Forever.”

“Why w-”

“Rory, please. You must never tell her. She has to go on hating me and wanting nothing to do with me,” fear is catching up with Din now. If Rory tells you the truth, this plan to keep you safe will unravel.

Rory’s eyes widen in disbelief, “You have to be joking. Do you know what you put her through? And it’s not even true??”

Quietly, Din asks, “How much has she told you and your friends about what I do?”

“That you own a gym?” Rory crosses her arms and gives Din an incredulous look.

“What else I do. What my old job was. Who I worked for. Who I’m connected with,” he has to be able to make her understand.

Rory lets these words hang in the air for a moment. No – you were always pretty tight lipped about what Din might be involved in outside of athletics. It did seem that in the months leading up to your breakup, you would often stress over Din’s work and wellbeing, and though your friends never asked you to expand on it, it wouldn’t make sense for the responsibilities a gym owner to give you that kind of anxiety.

“You got a knife wound once. Lala told us,” Rory recalls.

Din nods, “And that was nothing. That’s the least of what the people who might come after me would be capable of. She’s in danger just by being with me.”

“You wouldn’t protect her?”

“Of course, I would. With my life. But why should she be in danger at all? She didn’t choose this life.”

“She chose you.”

“She shouldn’t have.”

“You don’t get to decide that for her?!!”

Din knows that. He shouldn’t have chosen for you. But he made the decision that he thought would keep you safe and now you both have to live with his mistake, “I know, Rory… I know, but it’s done now.”

“Undo it, asshole.”

Like he hasn’t thought about it a million times. Like he doesn’t wake up and his first thought when he opens his eyes in the morning isn’t to find you and crawl on his hands and knees and admit that he had fucked up in how he handled everything and beg your forgiveness. Sometimes Din’s halfway out the door before one of two things stop him. The first is the very real possibility that you would tell him to go to hell – you had loved him better than anyone ever had, better than he deserved, and he had callously thrown away the greatest gift ever bestowed upon him. The second, is the very real fear from the threat made against you; Din hasn’t eliminated it and what if, just what if, what he’s doing is actually working and removing you as a worthy target? Yes, he shouldn’t have gone about things this way, but… what if it was keeping you safe for now?

“Someone threatened her, Rory.”

This stops Rory as she’s about to open her mouth to say something else. Closing her mouth, she studies Din and her shoulders drop, “Who?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been able to find out who’s behind it but I will. Until then, I have to try and make her less of a target. Please. Rory. Please. Make sure she stays away from me. You can’t tell her any of this.”

“But… she doesn’t know?”

“No. I don’t want her to be scared. And she is being protected - all the time, I promise. But the safest thing for her is to stay the hell away from me. If whoever wants to hurt me doesn’t think they can do it through her, then she’ll be safe. Please, Rory.”

Din is begging her now. His eyes imploring Rory to understand and decide as he once did, that your well being has to come above all, including loyalty and love. He sees it in her eyes as she relents, much the same way his must have once upon a time, and she nods, “Okay. I won’t tell her. And you promise she’s safe right now?”

“I promise. I… wouldn’t be able to live like this if I couldn’t at least do that for her.” Is it worth it? Yes, your life, your safety is worth anything and everything to him.

“You think you can get them? The people behind the threat?”

Din nods, “I’m sure of it. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll take care of it. That’s a promise I won’t break.”

“Okay. You should tell her afterwards though.”

“Maybe.”

“She deserves the truth, Din,” Rory gives him one last exasperated look.

“She deserves the world, Rory.”

The two of them give one another a silent nod of mutual understanding before parting ways. They might not see eye to eye on everything, but Din trusts that your friend will put your wellbeing and safety first; she loves you just as much as he does. Rory leaves Din behind feeling conflicted in a way she hadn’t thought possible when she confronted him earlier – the last thing she expected was to sympathize with him, but it’s become clear to her: the only person who’s been hurting more from your breakup than you, is Din.

Five Months ATN

“I want to go out with Mark.”

Four heads look up from their brunch with lighting speed to stare at you, shocked by your sudden announcement.

Feeling a bit awkward at this reception, you go on, “… I mean if he’s even still available. And if he’s not, is there someone else at your firm that might be, Jen?”

Jen looks at you curious and hesitantly excited, “I can check, but I don’t think he’s in a relationship? He broke up with someone a couple of months ago. You really want me to set you up?”

You don’t catch the looks that Rory and Lala exchange before Rory cautiously asks, “Do you even like Mark?”

“Hey!” Jen looks scandalized.

You’re slightly bewildered watching your two friends seemingly stare daggers at each other, “I don’t even know Mark? I just…”

You sigh.

“… I just have to do something. Try something new. Babes, it’s been months and… I’m still not over him.” Your friends know that the “him” in question is not Mark.

It’s been five months and you’re still in a state of melancholy and heartbreak that you can’t quite articulate. The days where you’d cycle through extreme emotion, be it intense sadness, justifiable anger, or self-pitying shame, have long since passed. You burned those emotional candles to their proverbial wicks and for the time that they were lit within you, they served their purpose. You’ve processed those emotions and laid them to rest.

What remains is a type of grief, a longing from your soul that you struggle to contain on a day-to-day basis.

The best way you can think of describing it is Hiraeth – the Welsh word that conveys the feeling of “a longing for a time, place, or person that feels like home but may no longer exist or that never existed at all”; when you miss Din, it feels like a type of homesickness. And though far from being lonely in your life, your heart nevertheless maintains an empty chamber that you are dearly afraid may be forever reserved for Din. Your Din. The one you had loved and thought loved you.

You miss it all - everything that had never been real: the closeness, the intimacy, the safety of Din’s embrace. You miss the way he looked at you and made you feel like the only person in the world who mattered; you missed his adoring touch and the way that he would be soft and gentle with you when you knew he harnessed such strength and power within those same hands. He had made you feel cherished and special, appreciated and exalted. Yes, it had all been a lie, but you heart had believed in it and the memory of what you’ve irretrievably lost haunts you every day still.

You’ve never been one to believe the adage that to get over someone, you had to get “under” someone else and you’re certainly not looking to replace what you thought you had or even date for the sake of dating. You’re just simply out of ideas. You need… a distraction. A real-life person to think about, instead of one that only ever existed in your head.

“Don’t push yourself if you’re not ready, babe,” Lala says, gently.

“I don’t want to ‘get back out there.’ I just need…”

“A rebound?” Rory’s assessment is unfortunately, spot on.

You look sheepish, “That sounds terrible. But something like a distraction.”

Jen is hardly bothered, “It’s okay. I won’t tell Mark but I don’t think he would mind even if he knew. Men are weird as hell.”

Everyone laughs and you go back to your breakfast, half listening as Jen chirps some of Mark’s merits and tells you that she’s going to try and set something up for the upcoming Friday. You don’t notice the worried and pinched looks that Lala and Rory continue to give one another for the remainder of brunch.

It’s absolutely pouring today. The phrase ‘raining cats and dogs’ must have been inspired by a similar rainfall, you’re sure. You hold your umbrella as close to your head as you can while deftly trying to keep your shoes dry by doing little and big hops to avoid puddles. It’s a relief when you finally make it to the overhang in front of your office building and can shake out your umbrella before stepping inside. Wiping your feet on the already soaked through mats that building maintenance has put down, you wonder if the weather will clear up before your date with Mark tomorrow.

You’re slipping your still dripping wet umbrella into a plastic sleeve when you hear a commotion by the security check desk. Gabriel, the head of security is arguing with someone who by the looks of it is soaking wet and trying to get through the security turnstiles. As you approach with your own access card already in hand, the voices get louder:

“Dude. Come ON!”

“Miss, like I said, you have to have security access in order to move past this point.”

“I’m not going to go anywhere in the building, I promise! I just need to get to the subway.”

“I heard you already, miss. You’ll have to use one of the other two subway entrances. This one is for people who have access to this building only.”

“It’s pouring!! Can’t you see? The other two entrances are both over a block away and I’m already soaked! I just want to get home!”

“I won’t ask again, miss. Please leave. There are people who need to get through.”

You’re shocked. You’ve never heard Gabriel get frustrated or raise his voice before. But that’s not why you’re shocked. It’s the girl’s voice. You know it.

It’s Vanessa.

In some other universe you might hail this as karma, but in truth, you only have sympathy for the girl you see before you. It really is miserable out and you’re sure that Vanessa isn’t some corporate espionage spy – she really is just asking for a little help to get out of the rain and home before she gets sick. Without overthinking it, you come up behind her and give Gabriel a reassuring smile, “It’s okay, Gabriel, I can take her to the subway.”

Vanessa turns and looks at you with a wide-eyed, almost scared expression on her face. You can’t help but feel bad for her. Obviously because she’s soaking wet and shivering, but you think she must not have been met with much kindness in her young life.

“Ma’am, that’s not really protocol…”

Your reassuring smile is now extended to Vanessa as well. You want her to know you’re here to help her, truly, “Gabriel, it’s fine. I know her. And, even if I didn’t, I could never let you send a woman out into that downpour when we could so easily help her get to where she needs to go, okay?”

Gabriel nods as you swipe your access card against the reader and you gesture for Vanessa to go through before you follow.

The two of you walk silently towards the subway for a few moments.

“You don’t have to…”

You wave off Vanessa’s concern, “I think Gabriel’s watching, so I’ll just walk you all the way to the subway entrance so he doesn’t give you anymore trouble, okay?”

She nods and the two of you continue on.

“You don’t have to be so nice to me.”

Your answer is genuine, “I really don’t know any other way to be towards you.” It’s true. Yes, Din had cheated on you with her, but you hadn’t been dating Vanessa, you had been dating Din. He had wronged you, not her (even if she had probably been a bit smug about it).

Vanessa nods again, the expression on her face seems to relax into some kind of revelation that you don’t quite understand. When you get to the subway entrance, the two of you pause awkwardly before she finally speaks, “Thank you.”

Again, you try to smile as kindly as you can, “It’s okay. I meant what I said to Gabriel – I didn’t like that he was trying to send you back out in the rain. Here.” You hold out your umbrella, still in its plastic sleeve.

Vanessa doesn’t take it, even as you continue to extend it in her direction, “I don’t know how far you have to go once you reach your stop – the rain may not have let up by then. Really, take it. It’s my firm’s – I have a bunch more upstairs.”

This time she does open her hands and when she grasps the umbrella’s handle to take it from you, she blurts out, “I never slept with him!”

Silence hangs between the two of you at her statement. You don’t know what she means at all, so you just say, “I’m sorry?”

Vanessa is looking down at the umbrella in her hands, words just spilling out, “That night. The night you ‘caught’ me and Din – you didn’t walk in on anything. I don’t know how, but he said he knew you were coming over and he asked me if I could make it look like he and I had been sleeping together when you showed up. We didn’t do anything. I played on my phone on the couch until we heard you knock. I- don’t know why I did it… actually… no, that’s a lie. I do.” She finally looks up at you.

“Din was so in love with you. Like seriously, so stupid in love with you. He hadn’t been with anyone for a while before he met you, and those of us who… had gone out with him once or twice just got used to it, I guess. Like we wanted him but he didn’t want anyone and that was fine. Then he met you and all of a sudden, he was the doting boyfriend, head over heals in love, showing you off to all his friends, taking you to meet Boba. And then it was so clear: it wasn’t that he wasn’t the boyfriend type, it was you. He only wanted you. I guess… I was jealous.” Vanessa shrugs, ashamed, “So when the chance came up to hurt you... I jumped at it. I’m sorry.”

To say you’re shocked would be an understatement. There is so much to process. You’re not sure what Vanessa is asking from you, but you do appreciate her honesty, “I mean, I guess I get why you did it. But why did Din?”

Vanessa shrugs again, “I really don’t know, I didn’t ask. It didn’t matter to me, I guess. I’m sorry. But after you left, I… propositioned him? Thought I would shoot my shot since we were both basically half undressed. He turned me down and practically kicked me out. All he cared about was making sure you got home safe. You’re all he cared about. Always. It was only ever you.”

“I- ” you’re speechless. Actually speechless, “Thank you for telling me, Vanessa. I- still don’t understand any of it, but I always appreciate honesty. Truly.”

And with that, Vanessa gives you a little wave of the umbrella you gave her as a final thanks before she disappears down the stairs into the subway station, leaving you dumbfounded and shellshocked.

It had been a lie.

Din hadn’t cheated on you. Not with Vanessa. Not that night, or according to her, any other night. You had been his one and only. The way you had always thought. The way he had always made you feel.

Every spiraling assumption and devastating conclusion you’ve drawn about your relationship over the past five months is now being called into question: that he never loved you, that he wasn’t the man you believed him to be, that the devotion in your relationship had been one sided. Had it all been real? Was your Din real?

But he had lied.

He had made up an elaborate lie to get away from you. To hurt you. This revelation gives rise to feelings that you thought you had long worked through and put to bed: betrayal, hurt, disbelief, anger. On top of this fast rising tide of emotions that you’re afraid might drown you rides a question you've never felt like you wanted the answer to when it was simply that Din was a cheater: Why?

The date is going okay, you think. Actually, it’s going exactly how you knew it would – you’re not into it. Mark is honestly nice enough, funny enough, charming enough – you can see why Jen was always trying to get you to go out with him. But he��s not Din.

You haven’t told anyone about your run in with Vanessa because you still don’t know what to make of it all; you have pieces of a puzzle that you didn’t even know existed, new questions, even fewer answers, and a whole new host of confused feelings. Unsure of your own heart, you hadn’t known what to say to Jen to cancel this date that she lovingly setup for you at your request, so here you are.

Even if your overthinking brain wasn’t in overdrive analyzing and reanalyzing everything you learned yesterday, your heart, which is still working out your feelings towards Din, has unequivocally softened. The Din of your memories, the one for whom your heart still beats deep down had been real, and he had never betrayed you in the manner you believed for the past few months. The love you had felt with him had been true and the affection and devotion that had been cornerstones of your relationship have started making their way back into your chest.

You feel sort of bad about Mark. Yes, you had been very clear with Jen and yourself that this date didn’t mark any great interest of yours to start dating again, but you know you could be putting in more of an effort on this date. You try. You really do.

After the pre-dinner drinks are finished and the waiter’s taken your dinner order, you excuse yourself to use the restroom, hoping for a few minutes alone to gather your thoughts. Heading towards the bathrooms, you walk down a hall that opens to the restaurant’s private party rooms on one side. All the doors are opened and you peek in to see that most of the rooms are empty, one of them being cleared from a large party that must have just left; when you get to the last doorway, you’re stopped dead in your tracks when you see who's inside.

It's Din.

He’s leaning back in a chair that’s been placed further back and away from the dining table that must centre the room; part of the meeting but not an active participant – a perimeter guard. His handsome profile is as striking as you remember; his strong aquiline nose and cut jawline that’s currently flexing as he swallows hold your attention by their very existence - how is he here just when all your thoughts happen to be of him? Din’s chocolate brown eyes are fixed on someone or something in the room, but he must feel your gaze because he turns and sees you – keeping his expression neutral, as if he doesn’t want anyone else in the room to notice you, you still see his eyes soften as they lock with yours and your heartbeat picks up a little.

Hi, you mouth shyly.

Hi, Din's lips curve up slightly at your sweet expression as he mouths back, you look nice.

You do too, because he does. He’s in a black suit with a crisp white shirt and jet-black tie; the monochromatic look works for him. Din’s slicked back hair is different – you’re so much more used to seeing his curls loose and tousled, but the change isn’t unwelcomed. He looks professional. Devastating.

Work? Your head tilts a little so you can see a little further in the room and Din knows you see Paz sitting in front of him wearing a nearly identical outfit. He nods, You?

Date.

Din nods slightly, eyes unreadable, Be safe.

I will. Not sure how much more you can communicate this way or even what you want to say, you give Din a little wave before continuing down the hall to the restroom.

---

Din cannot sit still.

Date? You were on a date?

But that’s not even the most jarring thing about seeing you unexpectedly tonight at the same restaurant where Boba’s holding a family meeting. What’s really turning Din’s world upside down is that you didn’t look upset to see him. Your expression was soft, kind and inviting. As if you didn’t hate him.

You’re over him. That has to be it. You were over him, wholly and completely; much too sweet to hold onto any malice towards him, you had treated him politely, like an old acquaintance. He wants to be glad – happy that you’re no longer hurting and that his transgressions against you didn’t leave a permanent mark on your beautiful soul. But his heart feels like it’s made of lead; dropping from his chest into his stomach when he thinks of you being on a date. Din gets up and takes a walk towards the main dining room of the restaurant, looking to satisfy his morbid curiosity.

He sees you right away. Your back is to him, but he knows its you. You sit across from a perfectly respectable looking man dressed in a sharp suit – the both of you clearly having come straight from work. The man probably has some smart corporate job like you, like a lawyer or someone who underwrites space rockets or something cool. The man is making you laugh; Din can tell by the way your shoulders shake. He imagines your smile and the way that your eyes crinkle when you think something is super funny but you don’t want to let loose one of those melodic laughs of yours where you throw back your head and the resulting song carries over the crowd. Din watches as you swirl your wine glass the way he always thought was super adorable, with two of your fingers pressed against the base of the glass stem, before you lift those same fingers to make a gesture with your hand that indicates you’re adding to your date’s story with some witty comment of your own. Your date’s face lights up and his look of admiration and joy from the pleasure of your company is one that Din knows well.

He decides can’t watch anymore and slinks back down the hallway; heart ripped to pieces, leaving you to your pleasant evening.

Thanks so much for being patient with me - these chapters are emotionally hard to write and even harder to edit 😅 Since I'm once again yeeting this into universe on a random day instead of my usual posting date, adding a few tags for those who have expressed an interest in the story (omigod if you don't want to be tagged, please tell me!):

@tuquoquebrute @furiousmushroom @cheekychaos28 @72scsuze @nerdieforpedro

@toobsessedsstuff @whirlwindrider29 @inept-the-magnificent @mellymbee @that1nerd-20

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@rarachelchel @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @jeewrites @sunnytuliptime @kulekehe

@bebsjo

#din djarin #modern!din djarin #din djarin fic #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #modern au #no y/n

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niyoriix · 3 months ago

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Bleach captains w/ Elysia S/O

TW: Cussing, suggestive(kinda??) OOC lol

Males only (no idea how to write for woman, even though I am one😞 also I didn't add some ALL of them since I had no CLUE how to write for them,I'll try to next time tho!!)

Shunsui

•Yall get along AMAZINGLY.

•Loves you so much, incredibly grateful that your his S/O.

•Loves your hair, it's so silky smooth and healthy, plays with it every chance he gets lol

•has probably written the most corny ass poetry about you 😭

•loves when you massage his head, makes him at peace.

•honestly just being with you is enough to make him feel incredibly peaceful.

•Kind of weird but, he likes how you smell.

•sometimes panics a little when he can't find you (nanao has to make him calm down by telling him you're just shopping lmao😭 he just needs to know your safe😞)

•Loves laying on your lap

Jushiro

•COUPLE GOALS OMG

•loves you sm😞

•Everyone loves you both, like match made in heaven🙏

•he sometimes gets rlly sad cuz he knows he won't be able to stay by your side for much longer due to his sickness, so he tries his best to always be with you.

•Acts like a total lost puppy without you.

•Like wandering around the garden with you and having mini tea dates with you.

•he sometimes feels bad when you have to take care of him, so you have to comfort him and tell him it's fine.

•Loves getting his hair combed by you, he finds it so soothing since your really soft with it.

•gives you the strangest but rlly thoughtfull gifts

•adores when you read to him.

Byakuya

• This is so Grumpy X sunshine coded lol

• tries to keep PDA to a minimum.

�� Tea dates somewhat often

• gives you luxurious gifts ALOT

• readings/chatting dates are very often as well, this man can't get enough of your voice.

• he rlly loves it when you cook for him.

• and he's loves getting compliments from you, he's gets a whole ass ego boost.

• Loves seeing you with rukia, makes him shed a tear.

Mayuri

• when you guys got together people were incredibly concerned for you, also very jealous of Mayuri lmao

• Most likely has tried to experiment on you at least once.

• likes having you sit on his lap while he works, sometimes searching for validation from you.

•hes absolutely loves how you compliment him.

•he let's you paint his face with his face paint sometimes.

• builds you a lot of mini gadgets (for praise)

Shinji

•Most of the time he tries to flirt with you, you Normally the flirt back and it gets him red instead of you lol

• has done stuff to try and get you mad since you always look happy(he's just a curious lil guy)

•COMB HIS HAIR PLEASE..he LOVES it

•pink x yellow perfect match honestly

•gives you his hiori randomly (showing his dominance LMFAO)

•When you guys sleep together he fucking drools on you 😭 but he looks rlly cute sleeping so you let it slide..

•says a lot of stupidly cringy jokes

•but he does have good jokes DW

Gin

•This sly little bastard.. mf would be all up on you😭

•Randomly hugs you.

•Has you sit on his lap while he does his work

•Dirty jokes 24/7

•cant keep his hands to himself.

•likes cupping your face in his hands while staring into your eyes.

•lays on your lap when he's out of energy or he just finished his work

•play with his hair please!!

•kisses on your face till your ass red as a tomato.

Aizen (captain)

• he actually does genuinely love you, he knows your not naive and that you have your own secrets, he's okay with that.

•when you guys are both away and don't have time to see each other he'll send gin to check on you.

•He very often pats your head for comfort

•running his fingers through your long pink hair is so soothing for him.

•you both read books and have tea dates

•very thoughtful gifts

•He feels very comfortable being with you.

•but he knows he'll have to leave soon..

Urahara

• enamored with your existence.

•He absolutely adores you, he's such a simp.

•He let's you wear his hat

•praise him,compliment him, do anything around this man and he's putty in your hands.

•(those 2 kids I forgot the name of) they probably call you Mom or smth

•has made you multiple inventions just for the sake of being praised.

•Loves when you sit on his lap and yap to him about your day.

•Cuddles 24/7

•Kissies always, random hugs always, pats on the back always, random words of encouragement always.

Toshiro

•Loves you alot.

•Kinda insecure about his height since your much taller than him(please comfort him🙏)

•makes ice sculptures of you from time to time(he never shows you them due to his embarrassment..)

• he's actually gotten a lot more confident about his height since you guys started dating, you compliment his height and never joke about his height, he loves that.

•he tries to keep his composure but just can't,your just so pretty and cute..he always has to stop himself from getting to red.

•Kisses on your hands always👏👏

•loves how understanding you are and how patient you are with him.

•gets so embarrassed when you call him suga-suga or toshi-toshi.

•Best naps ever warm+cold perfection

This was SOOOO OOC 😭 also took awhile to make-

#bleach jushiro #bleach shunsui #bleach headcanons #bleach x y/n #bleach characters #bleach x reader #cute #shinji hirako #sosuke aizen

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theodorecanaryhood · 8 months ago

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The Coffee Shop guy & the Red Hood:

A wedding

Part IX

The smile that was plastered on Jason’s face was something he hadn’t felt, he’d smiled more since having you in his life. This smile however, it was a smile of genuine happiness.

‘Where’s y/n?’ Jason asked as Dick walked into the room, Dick smiled.

‘Handcuffed to the radiator so he can’t run away’ Dick joked.

‘Very funny Dick’ Jason snarked sarcastically, going back to his suit.

Dick smiled a little as he looked at his younger brother, a day he never thought he’d see. Jason breathed calmly as he did up his tie.

‘You look so handsome Jay’ Dick spoke, Jason smiled at Dick through the mirror.

‘Thanks bro’ Jason cooed as Dick came over and hugged Jason.

‘I love you bro, so proud of you’ Dick said in his brothers ear.

Jason’s ears pressed up against Dicks cheek, Dick gave Jason a kiss on the cheek. Jason patted Dick on the back.

‘I love you too bud’ Jason smiled as he jokingly hit Dick’s arm.

The wedding was a success, Jason’s eyes filled up with tears as he saw you walking towards him. Your smile beamed so much, so much love coming off you it was surely going to fog up your glasses.

The vows, the wedding rings placed your left hand, Jason’s wedding ring on his. The family all left a speech that imprinted on you both.

‘Yes, a gun’ Jason cheered as he opened a present he got from one of his friends.

You stood shaking your head as Jason pouted a little. He was like a kid at Christmas, so excited and full of energy.

The grooms danced while everyone stood and watched, Jason placed a sweet kiss on your lips, remaining there and not caring who was watching.

The night came to a sudden change of event, Jason had to over his shoulder as he chuffed the bottle of champagne. You slurring a little, Jason being cheered on as he emptied the bottle into his mouth.

The night came to close as Jason carried you over the threshold, placing you on the couch. Jason saw as you were hard in your pants.

‘You hard for me baby?’ Jason asked, you blushing a little.

‘God yeah’ you sighed, Jason lifted you up as the two of you fell into a passionate kiss.

Your tongues battling for dominance, Jason pressed you against the wall as he began shedding your clothes off your skin. Exposing you to him.

Jason’s clothed body pressed against your naked one, Jason placed you back onto your feet as he took a good look at you, eyes of lust as he took in your form.

‘God, that ass is so good’ Jason growled, shoving you on the bed as Jason stripped his clothes off.

Sex with Jason was mind blowing, he knew every inch of your body and he knew how to make you scream. He knew the sweet spots to get you a little closer to the edge of pleasure.

Sweat dripped from both your bodies, hot breath escaping your mouths, Jason’s legs shook as he sat upright with you on his lap. Him deep inside you.

Jason rested his head into your collarbone as he seeped into you, his slow and steady pace let him go slowly. Filling you up at a nice pace.

You remained sat on Jason’s lap with him still inside you. The first time, the first round of sex as husbands.

‘I love you so much’ Jason spoke sweetly as you smiled, leaning down and kissing him.

‘I love you too hot stuff’ you smiled into the kiss, Jason wrapping his arms around your waist.

Your sweaty skin mixed with Jason’s stuck you two together in this position for a while, Jason kissed you until his jaw hurt.

‘Round two?’ You proposed as Jason hummed, rolling you over onto your back.

Life began a new chapter for you both in this moment as you both made a new journey, a journey as more than just boyfriends.

Jason was in heaven whenever he was with you, and in this moment he was in a dream. A dream he never wanted to wake up from.

As time went on, the honeymoon was over and life continued.

Jason found himself every now and then glancing at his left hand, smiling a little at his wedding ring. Smiling when he’d see yours.

Jason held your hand and walked with his head high, proud to call you his husband, feeling butterflies when you called him your husband.

A chapter that remained unchanged, Jason wanted to stay this way forever.

#red hood #gotham #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader

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certifiedtrashmouth · 2 years ago

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Oh gosh I don’t wanna repeat someone and I’m not sure about Xmas traditions but what about ridiculous stocking stuffers w Eddie? Fluff/humor.

oh, god. this one also got out of hand. started in light-hearted fun and ended in fluff that had me screaming into my pillow. i'm sorry for the length.

good for one kiss (eddie munson x reader)

warnings: none really. mentions of penis??? (eddie makes a joke about his dick and there's mention of a blowjob but no description lol), mentions of cigarettes, idiots in love. best friends to lovers.

“What am I supposed to do with a single piece of gum?”

“What am I supposed to do with a single cigarette?”

“Smoke it, idiot.”

“It’s broken, idiot.”

“Oh.”

You and Eddie sit cross-legged across from each other on his bed on Christmas Eve, partaking in your annual gift exchange. But there was a catch; each year, you exchanged stockings, only gifting each other what you could fit in the glorified, fleece-lined socks. There had only been two exceptions to the rule of the years - the year you’d gifted Eddie his first professional-grade amp and he’d bawled like a baby (once he’d dried his tears, he’d threatened you and Wayne both endlessly about ever letting the story leave the room. The two of you had exchanged a look, though, knowing neither of you would ever let him live it down.) and the year Eddie had bought you your first acoustic six-string with the promise of lessons from him (it was onyx black and shined with promise as Eddie explained the two of you needed to use paint markers to decorate it).

It was going on five years of the tradition that had stemmed from both of you never being able to afford much for each other, but still wanting to show you care nevertheless. And as the years had gone on, the gifts had slowly found their rhythm. There was always a perfect mixture of cliche throwaway gifts, gag gifts, and gifts so sentimental that some tears were sure to be shed by one of the parties.

“I didn’t think it would break,” you scrunch your nose slightly as Eddie holds up the cigarette, limp from the crack in the middle of it.

“What did you expect, just throwing it in here like that?” Eddie laughs, not bothered in the slightest. He had a pack of Camels snug in the pocket of his leather jacket slung over his desk chair. It was the thought that counted, after all.

“I expected it to be absolutely fucking invincible for how expensive the pack was,” you whine, and he can’t help but watch you with bemusement, “I spent my last dollar from my tips on that damn pack.”

The mention of that softens the look in Eddie’s eyes. He knew the two of you struggled to come up with enough money to even keep up this tradition; he had hardly seen you due to how many spare shifts you’d been picking up at Benny’s the last few weeks.

You catch the look, immediately straighten up, “No, no, no. Don’t even go there, Munson. I can see you going there. Come back to me, idiot.”

Idiot. The term of endearment you’d coined for him since you’d first met in sophomore year of high school. He’d heard it in a dozen different tones - elated, annoyed, exhausted - but not a single one held an ounce of genuine negativity towards him. You made idiot sound like my love.

He wasn’t your lover, though. He kicked himself in the shins every morning over it, always telling himself that today was the day and I’m going to tell her how I feel finally.

Spoiler alert. He never did.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he offers up his own loving nickname for you, “I just know you’ve been busting your ass at Benny’s-”

“Yes, I have, because I want to spoil you for the holidays. I don’t regret a single second of it. Even when those creepy old men tried to shove the dollar bills in my shirt rather than just hand them to me.”

You both laugh at the memory. It hadn’t been very funny when it happened, leading to you calling Eddie crying and him coming to your rescue, but enough time had passed to see the humor in it all.

The rest of the gift exchange goes as expected for the most part. The gag gifts pull the appropriate amount of laughter, and the more genuine gifts pull a softness out of each other that nearly had each of your eyes’ pupils forming hearts.

Eddie fawns over a pack of pics you’d had customized with Corroded Coffin’s logo, and you react just as bluntly as expected when you pull a long red candle from your stocking, looking up to Eddie blankly.

“For when I finally sacrifice you in the woods,” he explains with a cheesy grin, “Gotta have candles if we’re going to worship Satan, sweetheart.”

“Ha-ha,” you dead pan, tilting your head slightly as you keep a straight face, completely unimpressed, “You’re hilarious, Munson.”

“Hey, I could have made a sex joke,” he throws up his hands in a defensive manner, shrugging his shoulders and looking to the ground in faux shyness.

“Yeah, yeah - you could have made a sex joke,” you mumble as you shove the candle to the side, a smile still escaping the corners of your mouth.

“As a matter of fact, I still can. Don’t think I didn’t notice the fact that you replaced my stocking this year, darling, and that it’s noticeably larger. Finally big enough to fit over my massive dic-”

“You’re disgusting,” you interrupt, grabbing the candle and now whacking one of his knees with it, making him fall victim to an uncontrollable giggling fit, “Have you ever been told that? Let me be the first to tell you - you’re absolutely vile, Edward Munson.”

You don’t mean it, and he knows you don’t. You’re both laughing too much over it.

You’re starting to get to the bottom of the stockings now. You each have an odd arrangement of candy that had been included in each respective stocking - Eddie is socking on a blue jolly rancher, being sure to make annoying slurping noises to get a rise out of you, as you nibble on a miniature candy cane. There’s only one gift left in your stocking, a small box that you only reach for once you rewrap the candy cane in the plastic wrap it’d come in that you’d saved to avoid getting sticky fingers.

“What’s this?” you ask, pulling it out and letting the empty stocking fall into your lap.

Eddie looks up from where he was preoccupied with attempting to open another jolly rancher. His eyes light up from the present in your palm, “Oh, only saving the best one for last, sweet thing.”

You look at him questioningly, but begin to slide your finger under the delicate edge of the small box regardless. It takes concentration to pry open the box without tearing it, but you do, you gasp.

In a bed of cotton, there’s a necklace.

It looks like a copy of Eddie’s signature pick necklace. But instead of the dark swirling black between clouds of burgundy red, it shines with pearlescent opal white and ruby red, glimmering on a silver chain as if it were made of jewels.

When you gently lift it from the box, it’s clear it’s not a real pick. It’s heavier - Hell, it might actually be made of gemstones.

“Eddie-” you gasp, cutting yourself off, mesmerized by the beauty.

He’s nearly shaking with delight, “It’s a locket. Look, open it.”

You see what he means immediately, realizing that the weight was from the thickness of the faux pick. There’s a subtle seam, with a silver lock on the side that clicks gently when you press on it. The locket swings open, and inside is a snug photo of you and Eddie. You can pinpoint exactly when the photo was taken; it was at your birthday party two years ago, both of you laughing with cake icing on the tips of your nose. The photo is in dramatic black and white, but you can still picture how obnoxiously red your cheeks were with Eddie’s arm slung around your shoulder, pulling you into him as you two lost it over God knows what.

You feel yourself beginning to tear up, completely stunned, “I- Oh my God, Eddie. I don’t know what to say.”

“You can start with how I’m the best friend ever,” he cheekily grins, wiggling his eyebrows at you as you let out a breathless laugh.

“It’s…God, it’s beautiful. This- This is too much, Eddie. I can’t imagine how expensive-”

“Nope,” he cuts you off quickly, waving his hands frantically, refusing to listen to your lecture. He didn’t care if it had cost him everything he owned, down to the clothes on his back - it was worth it to see that look on your face. “Don’t even start, sweetheart. One of Wayne’s friends at the plant has a wife who makes jewelry for a living. We got the family discount because she thought the idea was so dang adorable,” his voice pitches to mock the mystery woman, and it makes you tearily laugh some more.

You look back down at the open locker, finger tracing over the opposite side from the photo.

E. It’s engraved in cursive. As if you’d ever forget the initial of the boy in the photo - the boy in front of you.

“You really had to choose the photo that made me look like a dork, didn’t you?” you softly tease under your breath, staring at the memory in unfiltered fondness.

“Someone’s got to keep you humble,” he retorts.

You ignore his comment, standing quickly and holding the necklace out to him, “Help me put it on?”

He doesn’t hesitate to leap off the bed to your side, taking the chain gingerly before you turn and face your back to him. His movements are careful and deliberate as he brushes your hair off to the side, cold fingers skimming over your skin and sending shivers down your spine before he loops the necklace around the front of your chest. You can feel his warm breath on the nape of your neck as he fiddles with the clasp for a few moments before finding success.

“Aha! Perfect,” he claps as you spin around, grinning giddily at the weight that sits naturally between your collarbones. It gives you a sense of security, a sense of comfort, a sense of home.

“Thank you, Eddie,” you earnestly say, voice crumbling with emotions as your smile shines and you lift a hand to pinch the necklace between two fingers. The locket is smooth as you rub over it, “I love it.”

His face reflects your happiness right back before you suddenly throw yourself forward, wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. He returns it immediately, squeezing you back just as strongly. You both melt into the hug, comfortable as you eventually beginning to just-barely-sway in the middle of Eddie’s room, chests pressed together as hearts beat in sync.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your hair before placing a chaste kiss on your temple.

“Merry Christmas, Eds.”

You finally pull away, both of you returning to your original positions on the bed. Gifts are scattered around you, mixing with candy and wrappers, as Eddie pulls up his stocking and begins to shake it upside down.

“There’s not any more gifts, Eddie, you already opened them-” you cut yourself off, the smile that had your cheeks aching still fading when a piece of paper flutters from his stocking.

Oh no.

“No more gifts, you say?” he smirks in your direction, picking up the folded note, “What’s this, then?”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You’d forgotten about that. When you’d been wrapping Eddie’s gifts the night before, Robin had joined you to keep you company. The two of you had broken into a few bottles of wine around the house when you had a bright idea (at least, at the time it seemed bright. Now, it was the dumbest idea you’d ever had. Ever.). Coupons for Eddie, ranging from redemption for kisses to redemption for more… explicit acts. To be fair, Robin had egged you on, knowing of your hopeless crush of two years on your best friend. You’d folded each ‘coupon’ and sealed them with kisses from red lipstick the two of you had dug out of your desk drawers. You’d chickened out when the buzz from the wine faded, and pulled all of the ridiculous notes out before properly filling the stocking with his actual gifts.

Or at least, you thought you’d gotten all of the notes out. Clearly, you hadn’t.

“Don’t open that!” you blurt out, lurching forward and attempting to snatch the paper from Eddie. It only makes his smirk grow, hand shooting out away from you, glancing wildly between you and the kiss-stained paper.

“Now you’ve really got me curious,” he mocks, pulling a face at you as he brings the paper back to his face, beginning to unfold it.

“No, Eddie, seriously, don’t read it. Please. It was so stupid, I- Robin and I were drinking, and I just…” you trail off in your explanation as he completely disregards you and his eyes trail over your scribbled words.

You didn’t even know which one had been left behind. You could only hope it was one of the less vulgar ones.

“Is this a joke?” he asks softly. You’re shocked - you’d expected merciless teasing. Not whatever look was currently in his eyes.

“What?” you ask, trying to peer over to see what the paper said. Depending on which dumb coupon it was, your answer would change, “I- Sort of. Maybe. No. I don’t know.”

You begin to wring your hands in your lap, waiting for him to respond. You felt so nauseated you considered escaping to the bathroom. Maybe you could die of embarrassment in the Munson men’s bathtub.

But then you remember it’s the Munson men’s bathtub, and decide the better fate may lay here, Eddie glancing up at you with moving curiosity, eyebrows furrowed.

Your cheeks burn crimson as you wish for the Earth to swallow you whole.

“Yes or no? Is it a joke?” he asks again, a stern tone that manages to not come across angry.

Your stomach and chest twist in sync, “No. It isn’t a joke.”

Suddenly, Eddie is taking the note and thrusting it towards you, eyes blown wide and chest heaving.

“Then I’d like to redeem it now, please.”

You don’t realize it, but the room had started spinning the moment Eddie had read what was written down. It felt like a dream - a dream he’d indulged in with no hopes of it ever coming true for an embarrassingly long amount of time now.

Your hands shake as you reach out to take the note from him, and you look down to see just how much drunk you had screwed you over in this moment.

In your messy handwriting, it reads: Coupon for Eddie Munson - good for one (1) kiss. To be redeemed at Eddie’s discretion.

You breathe out a sigh of relief, thankful it wasn't a vulgar one, before the reality of what Eddie had just requested hits you.

“Did you just- did you just say you want to redeem it now?”

Eddie nods, a determined look crossing his face, “Yes, please.”

You both stare at each other for a moment, letting the emotions in the air sink in. It takes a moment before you both break out into withheld, shy smiles.

“Okay,” you sigh.

Before you can overthink it, you’re both leaning forward, Eddie’s hands cupping your cheeks as his lips meet yours tenderly. It’s just a peck, nothing more, but it sends your heart into cardiac arrest. You can still taste the jolly ranchers on his lips, and he tastes the sweet mint of the candy cane on yours.

You both pull back slightly, his hands not leaving your face, knees pressing together. Your eyes had fluttered close, and you don’t have the guts to open them quite yet and face the consequences of what had just happened between the two of you.

“I like you,” you admit quietly, your entire body tensing as you await rejection.

It doesn’t come. Instead, you’re met with the sound of Eddie’s gentle voice, “I like you, too.”

Your eyes finally spring open to already find him staring at you with adoration. “You do?”

“Of course I do, sweetheart. I let you touch my first sweetheart. I only give that privilege to the prettiest of girls,” he laughs, eyes flickering to your lips but still keeping his distance.

“You’ve only let me have that privilege.”

“Exactly.”

He finally closes the distance again, lips slotting against yours as if they’re meant to be. Something clicks in the Universe, something that says that this is right and meant to happen. Two years of silent and hopeless pining, only to find out both your feelings were returned. It leaves the two of you delirious as you both deepen the kiss. Somehow, Eddie ends up scooting up his bed until his back meets the wall where his headboard would be if he had one, you straddling his lap. It’s all still so innocent; just the two of you, soft and sickly sweet kisses as you hold one another as if you expect the other to vanish.

“Merry Christmas, Eds,” you repeat your earlier statement and reach up to his gifted locket on instinct now. It feels right. You and him this close, you and him kissing, the photo of you resting against your chest where it belongs.

“Best Christmas ever,” he chuckles before he captures you in another kiss.

He’s right. It’s safe to say the two of you struggle to ever top that Christmas. You make it a running joke to always include coupons in his stocking from that year on. Each year, the coupons get better, sometimes raunchy and sometimes just downright adorable.

Good for one cuddle.

Good for one blowjob (don’t waste it).

Good for one surprise date night.

They’re always fairly clever, and each year, he thinks you get closer to topping that first note.

But it’s not until years down the road, when the two of you sit across from each other in your now shared living room, in some big city you now call home, that he knows that he had finally topped that year. The look on your face when you dig into the bottom of your stocking, finding the small box that contains the diamond ring he’d been saving up for ever since that first kiss, tells him everything he needs to know.

It’s still pretty nice when he hears you squeal yes out loud, though.

#twenty four hours of christmas #writing #asks #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #this one... this one got to me #but in a soft way

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birdsandbeetlesandmoths · 4 months ago

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Okay so I just finished Rebels . . .

I think this might be one of those shows that I never watch the finale of again, not because it was bad but because of the emotions that are now connected to it.

I mean, I knew the result beforehand as I’d watched Ahsoka and understood the preceding story, but it still hurt actually watching it.

Dang I should’ve taken notes of my reactions while watching- ANYWAYS

If you wanna see my ramblings they’re under the cut :^

I was so so close to shedding tears over Gregor’s death, as that was something I didn’t know about somehow, and it hurt me so much to not see the reaction from Wolffe after Rex tells him, because I wanted that a little bit, but it’s okay, we already got an hour long finale so I won’t be selfish.

Absolutely love Sabine’s hair, her (pixie? buzz? what is it, crew cut?) was super cute and I honestly liked it more than any of her other hairstyles surprisingly.

I absolutely DIED at the conclusionish thing with Zeb and Kallus. I was rooting for them since 2x17, and I genuinely was just joking about it but still really happy whenever I could finally see them onscreen together. But seriously!!! Taking him to the secret, safe home world of the Lasat?? Meeting your family?? And he was accepted among them like !!

I can’t believe that part was REAL. And oof- Zeb’s hand on his shoulder and it was like- so very very perfect. I genuinely leapt off the sofa-

Hera and Jacen- oh Jacen my dear. I didn’t expect to see him either, and yes, I’ve been a little biased to redesigns I’ve seen over here that give him more of his Twi’lek appearance, but still it was really cute.

And to hear that Rex survived to fight at Endor!! Also really freaking cool.

Ezra mirroring Kanan in his final scene made me sob a little because oh it was so beautiful and I genuinely love the two of them and their bond. They hold incredibly special places in my heart.

Overall, I think this finale was really really good. Never watching it again :D

If anyone else has thoughts on it I’d love to hear them because this was just- wow. I love this show so so badly and it’s stupid how long it took me to watch it all.

#star wars #star wars rebels #kalluzeb #sabine wren #ezra bridger #ezra bridger you will forever be loved #kanan jarrus #caleb dume #hera syndulla #jacen syndulla #zeb orrelios #alexander kallus #captain rex #sw gregor #gregor #commander wolffe

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justaboymadeofhoneyandglass · 3 months ago

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yk i think i overshadow some sides of my paras and our life because of what I share, like I mainly make sex jokes about it or whatever, I talk about the shit that's entertaining to talk about

I don't talk a lot about how this is actually genuinely my family, about how I know these idiots these people, these almost human beings better than ik most of the people around me

I don't tell people how Nya looks at me when they realise we've made a home for ourselves somewhere, how Evan knows exactly when to stop teasing someone, and when it's okay to keep going, how Regulus looks at me every time he catches me watching him dance when he's alone, the quiet understanding that could only come from unspoken words and a raw human connection, and yet they're not human.

I dont tell people how Harley helps me fall asleep, how she's always there when I wake up, the second I do. How Pierre is so much like Regulus, but theyre still so different, how i love both of them, not for any reason but just because I do. How J makes me feel more in control of everything I do, day to day, because he knows that's what I need.

I don't tell people about the love I feel, the tears I've shed, the pain I've endured and how it all taught me only two things. But I will share these few things with you, this is what I've learnt in four years.

Love is worth it. Of any kind, in any form, the love you have, and the one you give, but also the one you get is worth it. All of it, forever. People are worth it, the mess that come with it is worth it, because you get everything else for it.

Sometimes that love doesn't need to be "real". It can just be yours. It can be real to you, and that's not worth any less.

So yeah. I don't know how much I'll be actually posting about my family, but I wanted to put this out there, because I want people to know how I feel, and how people in general might feel about these things.

#my paras<3 #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreamer #madd #actually maladaptive #evan<3 #harley<3 #regulus<3 #madder #madd community #actually madd #paraportal #paracosm #not tagging this as Id because this is a madd experience specifically

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y2niki · 11 months ago

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# Chapstick <3

→ childhood friends 희승

warnings? character death, potentially ooc heeseung, mention of su1c1de

authors note: fem reader. around 1k words. sad ending

The sun was setting over the mountains when you felt the stick catch on the sides of the tube. A look of despair washes over your face when you realise your favourite chapstick was almost finished.

You'd had it since the start of this school year and it was like a part of you was saying goodbye to an old friend. It's been with you through the laughs of the classmates and the silent tears you shed alone. Now it was almost gone.

Suddenly, a voice breaks through your thoughts. It's a familiar voice you had known for years, it was Lee Heeseung.

'Hey! Don't forget to come to the graduation ceremony tomorrow!' He exclaimed, as his eyes gleamed. ‘Oh, right,' you mumbled, giving him a small smile. You had grown up in a small country town in the mountains together, always playing together and going on adventures. Now you were both graduating from high school.

Heeseung seemed to pick up on your distanced mood and asked, 'Are you okay?' You shook your head in response and told him about the chapstick. Heeseung looked at you with a sad glint in his eye. He knew the risks of you going too far in silence, but he wasn't about to give up that easily. He paused for a moment and then said, 'I have an idea. I overheard Sunoo saying that you were planning to end it as soon as your chapstick runs out. But I'm asking you this, until the chapstick runs out, will you fall in love with me and rethink your decisions?'

Your eyes widened in surprise, it had been a long time since you had felt that anyone had seen you, really seen you and wanted to fight to have you in their life. You looked at him with a mix of fear and anticipation and whispered, 'Yes.'

Heeseung smiled brilliantly and said, 'Let's go on a date then!' The day of the date finally arrived and you where so nervous it feels like you can't breathe properly, like the butterflies in your stomach are about to burst out. Luckily, it's like no time has passed when you see Heeseung at the entrance of the cafe, the same lopsided smile on his face that you grew up watching.

When you sit down at the table, you both share a giggle, feeling a bit out of place but excited all the same. You both chat about your day and what you've been up to, the conversation never running dry.Heeseung orders a chocolate milkshake and when it arrives, he offers you the first sip. You take it with a smile, feeling your heart flutter as you press your lips against the straw. Heeseung smiles and grabs your hands. 'I'm happy you agreed to go on this date with me,' he says. You can barely find your voice to respond. You manage to say, 'Me too.'

Heeseung's eyes twinkle, and you both start talking about your favorite childhood memories. You talk about the time you ventured into the mountains together and how he raced ahead and almost got chased by the cow. Heeseung laughs. 'I remember that! I thought it was so cool until I actually got chased. Then not so much.'

And for the first time in a long time, you feel happy.

On your second date, you went to a cafe. You enjoyed sipping coffee while watching the people go by, and found yourselves laughing and joking around. Heeseung looked genuinely happy around you, and you couldn't help but think that life did have happy moments, if you pushed yourself to be in them. Days turned into cherished memories, but still the chapstick continues its inevitable descent towards emptiness. Its finality loomed, a silent countdown to a decision you never thought you'd revisit.

Slowly but surely, you realized that you were falling for Heeseung - the same person you'd been friends with your whole life. You were quite simply shocked at the thought of it, and you couldn't help but smile every time he was around.

On the last day of summer, you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. 'I feel the same way,' you said. 'I'm falling for you too.' Heeseung's smile widened, and he leaned in to give you a soft kiss. You knew then that perhaps you two were meant to be. And as you two slowly fell in love, every single date seemed more magical than the last. In fact, the whole world seemed much brighter. Brighter even when you realised that it had been long since you finished your chapstick.

You looked at the empty chapstick tube in your hand, aching at the thought that you used to want to disappear. Part of you was happy you rethought you decisions, but another was scared about what was next.

Fate had other plans.

The next day, as you were walking to school, a car came speeding towards you. Heeseung jumped in front of it and pushed you out of the way, sacrificing himself for you. You ran over to him with tears streaming down your face, not believing that the one person who had given you a chance to live again had passed.

He took your hand and said, with a faint echo of a smile, 'You were worth saving.'And then he was gone.

Hours pass and you leave the hospital, unable to take in the sight of Heeseung any longer. You’re numb, unable to process what just happened, but you feel like you need to keep going. Heeseung’s last words keep echoing in your mind, and you make a promise to yourself to live up to them.

One year later, you were walking down the street, holding a chapstick in your hands. You were about to finish it, but you paused and tucked away the chapstick in a safe place. 'This one is for him,' you said softly, tenderly pressing it to your lips as if to remember every sweet moment that you shared together.

#y2niki #heeseung #enhypen niki #heeseung x reader #heeseung fluff #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #fanfic #enhypen au #heeseung angst #enhypen angst

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kyeop-tato · 23 days ago

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A Knock on My Heart — 김선우

summary : one of your bestfriend, yeri, just got dumped by her boyfriend so in order to cheer her up, you and your friends decides to go on girls trip together during your school term break, promising to forget any boys that come between you and your friends. however, certain someone (or might i say a few) came into your life and the promise yall vow to not break, might actually crumble any moment. would you go back home solo or would sunwoo managed to steal your heart?

☆— taglists : @urlocalbeaner5 ♡ —☆

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CHAPTER 25 : Love is always all you

When you'd planned for a night alone—just you, your thoughts, and perhaps a quiet storm of emotions—you hadn’t expected your solitude to be interrupted. You might have imagined yourself brooding in your room, maybe even shedding a tear or two before falling into a restless sleep. But it seemed the devil had other plans, because when they couldn’t reach you themselves, they sent Sunwoo's friends instead.

“I’m so sorry, I tried to stop him, I swear!” Juyeon whispered urgently as he hovered near, his girlfriend, Doyeon, standing beside him and pinching his arm in gentle admonition. He rubbed the spot where she pinched, wincing a little, and you chuckled, watching their sweet dynamic.

“It’s alright!” you reassured them. Then, with a sly smile, you leaned in closer to Juyeon and Doyeon, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Honestly, it was about to get a little awkward anyway before you all showed up.”

When you joined the others at the table, Kevin greeted you with a slightly sheepish smile. “Sorry we came unannounced” he said as Sangyeon jumped in.

“Yeah, Eric here thought we should spend our last few nights as seniors together” Sangyeon explained, shooting a look at Eric. “So… here we are. I’m really sorry if we interrupted anything between you and Sunwoo.”

You waved him off, genuinely touched by his sincerity. “Please, the more the merrier, right?”

And soon, the previously quiet tension in your house transformed into a lively, chaotic warmth. Laughter filled the air, playful teasing and shared jokes broke down any remaining awkwardness. Even Sunwoo, who had seemed tense at first, softened as his friends’ easy humor worked its magic. You found yourself thoroughly entertained and comforted, grateful to be surrounded by this crowd—these friends of Sunwoo who’d become an unexpected part of your night.

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"Admit it, you're glad I crashed the place, aren’t you?" Eric's voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper as he grinned, nudging Sunwoo’s shoulder with a playful bump. Sunwoo shot him an annoyed look, but despite himself, a smile cracked at the corners of his lips. "I still hate you for it! I didn’t even get to talk to her about anything serious" Sunwoo muttered, shaking his head in mock frustration.

"Seriously, bro? Man, you’re hopeless." Eric’s casual jab hit its mark, and Sunwoo, in a fit of playful exasperation, lunged, wrapping his arm around Eric’s neck. They wrestled briefly as Changmin, watching from the sidelines, just laughed, shaking his head at their antics.

Later, as the group settled in, Natty leaned in, a sly grin curling her lips. "So… how’d it go with you and Sunwoo? Are you guys official yet?" she teased, winking.

"Don’t give me that flirty face, Natty, or I might just fall for you instead" you shot back, laughing. "Anyway, we talked... but nothing that serious. I mean, maybe if you all hadn’t barged in, we could’ve gotten somewhere."

"Aww, we’re sorry!" Yeri piped up, her tone dripping with mock guilt. "But, you know, stopping those guys is like trying to stop a hurricane."

"Yeah, besides" she added with a grin, "you couldn’t hang out with them much the first time you met. This is like, the perfect chance."

You snickered, glancing over at the rowdy group. "I guess when you put it that way. They are… quite a handful" you admitted, your gaze lingering on Sunwoo, who was in the middle of laughing as Sangyeon tried to quiet Eric by slapping his mouth. Just then, you caught Sunwoo stealing a glance your way, and the moment your eyes met, you quickly looked away, your pulse quickening.

Doyeon, who hadn’t missed the exchange, sidled up beside you, draping an arm around your neck before tousling your hair into a mess. "Hey! What was that for?" you squealed, swatting at her hands while she giggled, proud of getting a rise out of you.

Time seemed to slip away as everyone got comfortable in the living room, the glow of the TV casting flickering shadows while a horror movie played on in the background.

Sunwoo and you weren't back at your house but are on your way to the convenience store. The cold night air slowly seeps into your skin despite you wearing a hoodie to keep warm. How you two got here is another story to tell—you found yourself on the losing end of yet another game, the empty bottle spinning slowly to a stop, its tip pointing straight at you.

"Alright, time for a punishment!" Hyunjae called, rubbing his hands together like a villain in a cheesy movie. "You have to go to the convenience store and grab snacks for everyone."

"What? Are you crazy?" Chanhee exclaimed. "She’s not going alone."

"Fine, fine" Kevin chimed in, "we’ll spin again. Whoever it lands on has to go with her."

The bottle spun once more, and though fate had chosen Jacob, the moment he realized, he quickly nudged it over to point at Sunwoo. "But that’s cheati—" Changmin began, only for Haknyeon to quickly shush him.

"Well, looks like it’s you two" Haknyeon said, a little too eagerly. "What a coincidence, huh?"

You exchanged a knowing glance with Sunwoo, the two of you well aware of the set-up. But you didn’t mind. After all, maybe this was the opportunity you’d been waiting for.

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As always, you weren't the type to strike up conversations and this time was no exception. But as Sunwoo rattled off the snacks on his phone, you found yourself tentatively asking if you’d picked up the right one. He’d glance over, showing you which was correct with the smallest smirk, and soon enough, you were swapping small jabs and comments, bickering in that easy way you did. When the roles reversed, and he grabbed the snacks as you listed them out, the lightness between you grew, filling the quiet convenience store with something warm.

After paying—on Sunwoo’s card, of course—he paused, glancing at the receipt. "Wait, this total seems too low" he muttered, eyebrows knitting together. He approached the cashier. "Um, I think you might have undercharged us?"

The young cashier only smiled and shrugged. "Don’t worry about it. I’m quitting soon, anyway. Plus, you two are such a cute couple, I couldn’t resist giving you the staff discount!"

A flush crept up Sunwoo’s cheeks, while you opened your mouth to set the record straight. But before you could say a word, he pulled you along by the wrist, thanking the cashier with a quick nod.

Outside, he looked over at you, his face still red. "Is it that awful, the idea of being my girlfriend?"

You blinked in surprise at his unexpected question. "I mean, I’m not against a discount or anything, but lying just feels... wrong. Like we took advantage of her kindness."

Sunwoo raised an eyebrow, his next words tumbling out in a barely audible rush. "It wouldn’t be a lie if you actually agreed to be my girlfriend."

You stared at him, unsure you’d heard correctly, until a loud ping sounded from his phone. Almost reflexively, he checked it, revealing a photo of his little sister with the same girl you’d noticed outside his house before.

Startled, you rested your hand on his wrist, prompting him to hold the phone closer. He didn’t pull away; instead, he looked at you, almost as if he were trying to memorize the moment.

"Wait, do you know her?" you asked, pointing to the girl in the picture.

"Of course, that’s my little sister" he answered with a soft chuckle.

"Y-your sister?" you stammered, the realization dawning on you. "This is crazy! She seemed so familiar, but I never made the connection. I even met her at one of your games once, and she mentioned cheering on her brother. Guess she meant you after all"

"What a small world, right?" Sunwoo said with a smile. "But wait—you were at my game? Why didn’t you approach me after?"

Flustered, you dropped his wrist and changed the subject. "We should probably head back. The others must be wondering where we are."

He quickly matched your stride, walking backward so he could look at you. "Hey, don’t dodge the question. I know you’re hiding something. And you said you weren't mad at me..."

You sighed, stopping abruptly enough that he almost tripped. "Sunwoo, I wasn’t mad at you. Why would I be?" you replied, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Is it because of… that night?" He raised an eyebrow knowingly.

At his question, you finally looked at him, trying to keep your voice steady. "What do you mean by that?"

"Younghoon told me you showed up at my house," he said, lowering himself to your eye level. "And I’m guessing you saw me with her, didn’t you?" A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he noticed your eyes widen in guilt.

Your shoulders slumped, and you gave him the smallest nod.

"Wow, I didn’t think you’d get jealous" he teased, a playful grin spreading across his face.

"I wasn’t jealous!" you protested, cheeks heating. "Just... surprised, I guess. She was hugging you, and your parents were talking so seriously with hers. It almost looked like one of those engagement scenes in a K-drama."

Sunwoo’s laughter rang out, clear and warm, and you couldn’t help but smile, even though you felt thoroughly embarrassed. "So, you were jealous!" he managed between laughs. "And you have quite the imagination! What made you think I was engaged to her?"

"You’re... not?" you asked tentatively.

He shook his head. "She’s just someone I used to be close to. Our parents thought of matching us up once, but I never saw her that way. Her family moved to the States ages ago, and the hug—well, it was more out of nostalgia than anything. I couldn’t exactly shove her away, not in front of our parents, right?"

You fell silent, processing his words. All this time, you’d been carrying this quiet hurt, overthinking, imagining the worst. The thought of losing Sunwoo—really losing him—had felt all too real. But now, standing beside him, feeling the warmth in his gaze, you realized that maybe, just maybe, it had all been in your head.

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"Maybe I should do this more often, just to get you all jealous" Sunwoo teased, his grin wide as he dodged your playful jab to his chest. He let out an exaggerated, wounded whine, clutching his chest dramatically, but you only rolled your eyes and walked ahead, ignoring him. He quickly fell into step beside you, though, and for a few minutes, he just walked in silence, seeming to savor the comfortable closeness between you.

Finally, he broke the quiet. "But seriously… what were you doing outside my house so late that night?"

You hesitated, debating whether to tell him the truth. After a moment, you looked away, feeling the weight of the words as they formed. "Can you blame me? You once said you'd do anything to make me feel loved… but lately, it felt like you just gave up. So I thought… maybe I should go see you, just because."

When you dared to glance back at him, Sunwoo was watching you, a soft smile of admiration playing at his lips. "So, in other words, you missed me, huh?" he said, his voice teasing yet warm.

You scoffed, trying to ignore the way your cheeks burned. "No, I didn’t miss you" you replied, crossing your arms, though everything in your expression betrayed you.

Sunwoo chuckled, shaking his head. "You can deny it all you want, but I can tell. Haknyeon’s plan might not have been so bad after all."

You raised an eyebrow, feeling a pang of suspicion. "What plan?"

"Well" he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "Haknyeon suggested that if i, you know, stayed out of your sight for a little while, maybe you’d realize that… my absence makes the heart grow fonder. Guess he wasn’t wrong."

You stopped in your tracks, your eyes widening in shock. "Hold on—so you’re telling me that ignoring me for weeks was on purpose?"

Sunwoo winced at the accusation in your voice, already backing up with his hands raised. "Hey, hey! If you’re going to be mad, take it out on Haknyeon! It was his idea!"

Before he could finish, you lunged after him, and with a laugh, he turned and bolted. You raced down the sidewalk, your laughter filling the quiet night as you chased him. Just as you caught up, you stumbled, tripping forward, and with a soft oof, you fell against Sunwoo, sending both of you toppling to the ground.

For a second, everything stilled as you found yourself lying atop him, the world around you fading until there was only the warmth of his gaze meeting yours, both of you breathless.

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Panic seeped into you, sharp and unbidden. You lifted your head to look at Sunwoo, concern flaring in your eyes. "Hey, are you okay? What about your head?"

Sunwoo winced from the impact of his earlier fall. "It's fine, I guess. Just a mild concussion."

“That’s what you get for trying to run away from me” you teased, smirking. "Serves you right." He let out a soft laugh, wincing again as he did.

It took you a moment to register the position you were in—your body sprawled atop his, arms braced on either side of him. For a heartbeat, you locked eyes, and your face flushed as you noticed he had been staring at you, quietly, intently, ever since the fall. Heat crept up your cheeks, and you mumbled, “Sorry” as you attempted to push yourself up.

But Sunwoo had other plans. Just as quickly as you tried to move away, his hand shot out, pulling you back down, closer this time. Your eyes widened as you found yourself face-to-face with him, breaths mingling. You felt a rush of embarrassment that spread like wildfire, but your body betrayed you, frozen by the proximity.

“S-Sunwoo, what are you doing? L-let me go. What if someone sees us?” you stammered, struggling to ignore the rapid beat of your heart.

Sunwoo smirked, clearly reveling in your reaction. He leaned in, voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “Admit you missed me, and I’ll let you go.”

You glared at him, searching his eyes to see if he was just playing with you, but he was unyieldingly serious. "Yah! Are you out of your mind? Why should I listen to you?” You tried to pull away again, but his grip on your wrists only tightened.

“Well” he said, eyes gleaming with mischief, “if you don’t mind everyone seeing us like this, by all means, keep resisting.”

You could feel your pulse quickening. “Fine! I-I missed you” you muttered, the words barely more than a whisper. “Can you let me go now?”

He tilted his head, feigning a puzzled look. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Care to repeat it?” His smirk grew as he added, “Oh, and did you just call me ‘yah’? Do I look like a ‘yah’ to you?”

Suppressing your exasperation, you took a steadying breath, meeting his gaze with newfound determination. “Alright, I missed you. Too much, apparently, though I didn’t realize it until now.”

His eyes softened, admiration surfacing in their depths. The confession seemed to hit him like a slow-burning flame, and for a moment, he looked as if he were caught in a dream he never wanted to end. Before he could process, you leaned in, pressed a bold, feather-light kiss to his lips, and scrambled to your feet as his grip on your wrists loosened.

You bent down, grabbing the snack bags that had spilled onto the ground, and with a quick, nervous laugh, sprinted toward your house. It took Sunwoo a moment to recover. Then, shaking himself back to reality, he lunged forward, grabbing your wrist and spinning you to face him.

“D-did you really just… do that?” he asked, trying hard to keep his voice steady, though the disbelief was written all over his face.

Feigning innocence, you shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe I did, or maybe you’re just being delusional.”

Sunwoo laughed, clearly entertained by your feigned innocence. With a smirk, he stepped closer and cupping your face gently, tilting your chin to meet his gaze. His touch sent a shiver down your spine, and anticipation built as his thumb brushed over your cheek. He studied your face, his eyes drifting to your lips. “May I kiss you?” he asked softly, his gaze flicking back to meet yours, seeking silent permission.

Almost too eagerly, you nodded. Sunwoo chuckled, his voice low. “You know… you’ll be the death of me.”

And with that, he closed the distance, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that felt straight out of a fairytale. It was as if every romantic moment you’d ever dreamt of was suddenly, impossibly real. Your hands slipped around his neck, pulling him closer, craving more of that sweet, almost dizzying warmth. He leaned back briefly, both of you catching your breath, and ran his thumb over your lips with a quiet chuckle. Your gaze locked onto his, the world as if narrowing to just the two of you.

“Sunwoo…” you whispered, barely aware of your own voice. He raised his head, his eyes still bright and intent. “Will you... be my girlfriend? Tell me you’ll say yes this time” he murmured, a gentle desperation in his tone.

You smiled, rolling your eyes playfully. “Idiot, would I have let you kiss me if I didn’t want this? I don’t just do that with anyone.”

Sunwoo laughed, relief flooding his expression. “So I’m the special one, huh?”

“More than that” you said, your voice soft but full of conviction. “In fact, one in a million.” His face lit up, and he wrapped you in a tight, comforting embrace, which you returned wholeheartedly. The world seemed to slow around you, the moment stretching as if only the two of you existed.

When you pulled back, his hands still lingering at your waist, you looked into his eyes. “Thank you… thank you for showing me what love means. For standing by me, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

He smiled, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “Hey, there’s no need to thank me. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat, and I’d never regret it.”

A mischievous thought struck, and you reached up, squishing his cheeks with both hands. Sunwoo gasped, feigning outrage. “Hey! You're making me look ridiculous right now.”

“No, you don’t” you laughed, beaming at his exaggerated pout. “You look adorable. And even if you did look ridiculous, I’d still love you.”

“W-wait, did I hear that right?” Sunwoo stammered, blinking as if trying to process. “Did you just say you… love me?”

You tilted your head, teasing. “What, you don’t want me to? Fine, I’ll just take it ba—”

Before you could finish, he pulled you into a back hug, his arms wrapping snugly around you. You felt the weight of his head rest against your shoulder, his breath warm against your neck, and you melted into the closeness, barely able to hold back a smile.

“Don’t even think about taking it back!” he whispered, his voice full of a warmth that left you breathless. “Thank you for giving me this chance… to prove myself to you. I love you too.” He pressed you closer, and you leaned into his embrace, letting your hands drift over his, relishing the moment.

Then, as if on cue, Eric and Juyeon’s voices echoed from the stairwell. “Alright, lovebirds! Enough with the toe-curling lovey scenes! We’re starving! Hand over the snacks!”

Both you and Sunwoo froze, cheeks flooding with color, caught red-handed. Embarrassed but grinning, he intertwined his fingers with yours. “Guess we’d better feed the babies” he murmured, giving your hand a squeeze. "Hey! I heard you, Kim Sunwoo! Who says i'm a baby?"shouted Eric yet Juyeon shushed him in an instant, to not disturb the neighbours peace with his noise pollution. You laughed, and together you made your way toward the elevator, knowing this was a night you’d treasure forever—one you’d look back on with Sunwoo by your side, laughing at every wonderful, embarrassing detail.

“You know…” Sunwoo’s voice softened, trailing off as he followed you into the elevator. You only hummed in response, pressing the button to your floor, your fingers lingering on the cold metal.

He broke the silence, his words gentle yet contemplative. “Don’t you think what happened today feels like a déjà vu?”

You tilted your head, studying him with a questioning look.

“Remember that time you lost the game on our trip, and had to go buy snacks at the karaoke place?” He chuckled, a fondness in his eyes.

It took a moment, but then the memory dawned on you, clear as day. "Oh, right." You laughed, brushing a hand through your hair. “I guess I really am that bad at games, huh?”

He smirked, nudging your shoulder playfully. “Well, I can’t deny that.” His voice softened then, a touch of warmth and something deeper slipping in. “But just like today, I’m glad I was always the one with you.”

You smiled, gently running your thumb across his knuckles, his hand firmly entwined with yours, “Fate really does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?”

He leaned in, a delicate kiss lingering between you, his gaze soft and steady as he pulled back. “Yeah, it does” he whispered. “I’m grateful it led me to you. I love you y/n… so much.”

A wave of emotion tightened in your throat, a warmth pooling behind your eyes as you met his gaze. “I love you too, Kim Sunwoo.” You squeezed his hand gently, your voice soft with a quiet gratitude. “Thank you for loving me.”

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a/n : omg yall icb i finally finished this !! tysm to each and everyone of you that gave me the motivation to keep going with this fic, love you all so much 💕 also, don't forget to stream trigger! - admin ruby signing out for now

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