#i love her personally of course. it's about the principle of the thing

[vulpinesaint]

witcher reread huge mistake. no longer have power of will to read books for class. mind heart and soul invested in vaguely misogynist 90s fantasy series. no room for. uh. [ checks notes ] postcolonial queer literature and plant-centered critical theory... awful. brainrotting. there are so many more important things i could be doing right now

[sttm99]

Bakugo understands that he spends a lot of money on you for just being his personal assistant. But he can't help it.

You honestly deserve it. You're smart, responsible, diligent. You're a hard worker with principles, and your work ethic is something he respects.

It didn't matter how many people were against him promoting you from secretary to PA so soon in your career. Your work was top notch, and you kept him organised.

Sure, you were pretty as well, a sight for sore eyes, really. But that wasn't his fault, was it? It wasn't your fault either.

It's not like you came into work every day with full glam, diamond earrings, or elaborate hairstyles.

It had pissed him off at first, when people demeaned you or underestimated your work because of your looks, especially when he knew you worked so hard so you wouldn't be considered some dumb corporate bimbo.

But now? Now he loved it. He loved when he had clients over, and they'd do a double take when he sent for you to take notes or deliver documents to his table.

He'd noticed the modesty with which you'd dressed when you first started working for him, how you tried to dim yourself with drab colours that obviously washed you out, or plain hairstyles.

Not like it stopped anybody from being able to tell how pretty you were.

But after, when you'd started garnering his attention and racking up more bonuses from your diligence, he began noticing you wearing nicer things.

Of course, you had to up your wardrobe once you were promoted to the role of Personal Assistant to one of the biggest heroes in Japan. But that wasn't it.

Bakugo loved seeing you walk in with a new shirt or new shoes or new earrings after he'd rewarded you a bonus or a pay increase. There was a sort of high he got, knowing that you took care of yourself with the money he gave you.

Oh, he spoilt you rotten.

Month end rewards became the norm for you. He just closed a hefty advertising deal? Best believe you were getting a cut out of that. He was given a bottle of champagne as a gift? You're drinking it with him in his office.

Sure, it may have seemed a bit inappropriate to some people; him locking the doors and closing the windows, and having you sit on his lap prettily whilst he poured it out into a flute for you.

Sure, it was inappropriate for him to have his hands up your skirt as you recounted the month end figures for him, but you were comfortable that way. He was, too. Oh, so comfortable with your hands inside his trousers and his teasing at the lining of your panties.

He was just taking care of his best employee.

And maybe he did spend a lot of money on you, but you had to keep up appearances. He needed you looking your best when you were next to him.

It wasn't his fault you were so beautiful that brands reached out to him to get you to model for then after seeing you appear in some pictures by his side.

It wasn't his fault that he couldn't get anyone else to come with him to the Hero Gala. Besides, you're meant to be with him during these things to take notes for him. So having you as his date was basically killing two birds with one stone.

"Your assistant's fucking sexy," Kaminari whispered into Bakugo's ear, both of them watching you go to order a drink for your boss.

Bakugo smirked to himself, his eyes raking over your body, clad in the tight fitting dress he'd bought for you to wear. He'd also bought the earrings you had on, and the shoes and the necklace. Sure, it cost him quite a lot, but he just couldn't help it when you looked so good.

"She's single, isn't she?"

Now, that had him snapping his head in Kaminari's direction. "Don't even fucking think about."

Kaminari whined, "But why? She's your assistant, not your sister or your girlfriend."

"She's my assistant," Bakugo seethed, standing up from his seat. "She's my employee, and I won't have you lowering her efficiency." He murmured as he made his way to where you were.

You smiled brightly as you turned around to see him, handing him the second glass of champagne in your hands. "You look like you'd rather be somewhere else." You laughed softly.

He grinned down at you before downing the drink quickly. "I would," he said before dropping his glass back on the bar. "Come on."

He spoilt you rotten, but he couldn't help it. You looked so beautiful in your tight dress and pretty hair and beautiful face.

Sure, being seated on the sink and having your legs spread before his lips in the bathroom at the Hero Gala may have been a tad inappropriate, but how could he stop himself?

You were quivering for him, thighs pressing down and shaking on either side of his head, and your fingers gripping harshly at his hair, pulling him even closer as you rutted your heat against his lips.

He let out a desperate groan, burying his face deeper into your cunt, eating you out shamelessly, hungrily.

"Fuuck..." He growled into you.

You'd been so shy the first time he had his way with you, refusing to touch him, grind on him, behaving so meek and cute.

Now look at you, so selfish and desperate, almost suffocating him as he feasted. He spoilt you rotten, sure, but you deserved every morsel of it.

"Katsuki..." You whined desperately, your back arching off the mirror, the hand not pulling at his hair tightly gripping the edge of the counter. "Katsuki, I'm so close... I'm so fucking close, baby-"

His hands dug into the flesh of your ass, pulling your harsher into him, your clit pressing against his nose as his tongue made a meal of you. He was always so desperate for it, digging the wet muscle so far into your pussy you saw stars.

And he was messy too, his saliva and your arousal staying your thighs, dripping from the marble counter unto the ground as he ate from you.

Anyone who came in after would probably be able to tell from the smell of the bathroom alone. The cum leaking unto the floor would only solidify it.

But the thought of someone finding out that your boss had his face buried deep in your pussy wasn't exactly what you were thinking about when you came for him, hard and rough, your hips shaking and raising off the counter as you rode out your high.

"We shouldn't be doing such during events, sir." You whispered to him as you both walked down the corridors back into the hall where the gala was being held.

He had his large palm over your ass, groping you just in the dark of the hallway, letting go just as you stepped into the crowded hall.

"Just be a good girl and wait for me to fuck you on the way home, hm?" He smirked at you, a small sheen still visible on his lips.

He never cleaned his mouth properly after eating you out during such events. It was inappropriate, sure, but he just couldn't help himself.

[ellieslaces]

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU, BABY.

featuring: leon kennedy x fem!agent!reader x ashley graham

synopsis: ashley graham's biggest weakness is attractive people, especially kind, attractive people. she was not expecting to be saved by two of the hottest, kindest people she'd ever met, much less to end up crushing on the both of them

content warnings: harsh language; mentions of violence; tension; lots of flirtatious banter; ashley shooting her shot for an entire fic basically; mentions of reader being bisexual; light smut; kissing (f!f & f!m); one bed trope; forced proximity; no real smut bc idk how to write a threesome :(

notes: takes place on the way back from Spain (technically post RE4R); one bed-ish trope (r&leon share a bed, and a room with ashley); ashley is sort of confused about her sexuality; semi-established relationship (r&leon); really more of a sibling dynamic between ashley and leon (it sounds weird, but its balanced in the actual fic, i promise)

word count: 6.13k (i’m so sorry)

chloe talks: was this entirely inspired by @postersofleon ? yeah, i read this post a week or so ago and i'm losin' sleep over it. so full credits to @postersofleon for the plot! luv their lil' drabble :) also, sorry this isn't more of a threesome fic. if it were a triple female threesome, i could work with that, but add a dick into it, i'm clueless. anyways, enjoy ashley fumbling for this whole fic (luv her, i just can't help embarrassing her shes so cute). also, please appreciate this, i wrote around 80% of this while i was supposed to be studying for an exam. that’s on adhd and procrastination :)

now playing: Nohings Gonna Hurt You Baby; Cigarettes After Sex

It is entirely possible that blondes were, indeed, your weakness. Sure, over the years, you'd come to realize there was something especially alluring about lighter hair - possibly the way it reminded you of the sun, or how each strand looked like spun gold. Although, what seemed to seal your fate was the ever dangerous pairing of blonde hair and blue eyes. Oh, how alluring and damning was the color of icy blue coupled with silvery, silken strands.

For a time, you believed your weakness was encompassed only within your field partner, Leon S. Kennedy. God, how handsome was that agent. Not only handsome, but brave, and kind - awkwardly so, but it really is the principle of the thing. It was painstakingly obvious to everyone, other than Leon it seemed, that you were completely and forlornly in love with him. It seemed you were equally as blind to the evidence that Leon Kennedy was also miserably in love with you.

But the one person who noticed it upon first glance was Ashley Graham. Not only for the clear obviousness of the situation, but because the feeling was entirely, and unfortunately mutual. And it was this girl who also awoke the realization within you that Leon was not the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed person you found enticing.

Though, you were not the only one in this clandestine triad who had an impending weakness for certain types of people. No, you were not, Ashley had an Achilles heel for graciously kind people. Not just kind, but attractive. Not in a shallow or superficial way, but to say more that a person would catch her eye. She had no pre-existing physical type - no particular hair color, eye color, or even height preference. Just that they be kind. And much to the First Daughter's dismay, you were both horribly kind. In your own respective ways, of course.

Leon — as aforementioned — was awkwardly kind, despite how well he meant. He never knew exactly how to word his concern, or how to come about comforting someone. It was usually said in simple phrases such as “you okay?” or in way of one of many snarky comments he had stored in the deep recesses of his mind. Ashley thought he was funny; sometimes.

You, on the other hand, were painfully sweet to her. Always reassuring her that she was okay, and you were going to keep her safe. Field medic, that’s how Leon explained your role in her rescue. You were there to keep her and Leon healthy and in one piece, which you were startlingly good at. Any bruise or cut she procured was immediately treated by your sweet disposition and skilled hands. She liked how gentle you were with her.

So yes, Leon was kind in an awkward manner, and you were kind in a practical sense. And that devastating combination was her inevitable downfall.

From the moment you and Leon found her in that church, she knew she was fucked. Because, how could people look that good while doing the sort of jobs you had? There was no way, no way she would ever be able to form coherent sentences around you two. But, somehow, by some miracle, she got on with you both quite well. Despite the obvious moments of third-wheel-ism because you and Leon were so close.

There where multiple reoccurring occasions where Ashley suspected the pair of you may be together. Or at least fucking on the side. Because no two people who are just partners have that dynamic. The constant tension, the way Leon could be protective or even overbearing sometimes. The way you would rush to his side to patch up his wounds — no matter how small and minuscule they were — after a fight. Sometimes, despite how endearing it could be, Ashley was annoyed. Sure, you two had known each other for an extended period of time and had just met Ashley that day. But, it became so aggravating when you would consult each other without the inclusion of Ashley.

Many times you would apologize to her, expressing how sorry you were for leaving her out of conversations or hypothetical battle plans. It wasn’t that either of you thought she was stupid or couldn’t handle it. No, it was more along the lines that you were used to it just being the two of you. There was rarely ever a third party involved — other than Hunnigan chatting away in your ear pieces of course — in these types of situations.

Ashely was smitten, to put it lightly. She’d made several attempts to quote-unquote ‘shoot her shot’ with Leon. Little comments of how brave he was, how thankful she was for his saving her. Even calling him her ‘hero’ on one occasion or another. His name had posted permanent residence in her vocabulary it seemed.

However, her means of flattery with you was completely different. She was a little more bold with you, seeing as you were more of an open person than Leon was. She partook in the cliche, yet never failing flirtatious mannerisms — simple touches, giggling at your jokes, or simply sticking to your side in dangerous situations. It wasn’t that you didn’t notice, no, you just turned a conscious blind eye to it all. Ashley was a college girl, a sorority girl, a privileged girl. She was probably used to using flattery to get what she wanted, to gain the attention she so desperately thrived on.

Though as your time in the hostile Spanish village went on, you came to realize that it wasn’t superficial, Ashley’s flattery toward you and your field partner. Absolutely not, far from it. You realized after Leon had carried her to Luis’ laboratory and you managed to get the machine working to expel the parasite from her body, that Ashley was totally and completely smitten with the pair of you. She was attached in the worst way. And that would be your inevitable downfall.

Leon was consciously blind to it. Your partner — no matter his selfless tendencies and his awkwardly kind nature — was melancholic. He had a firm belief he was predestined to be miserable. That there was always another shoe waiting to drop. He didn’t deserve happiness, peace, love, a good life. So, he ignored it. He ignored how Ashley was equally as taken with him as she was with you. He didn’t bring it up, he didn’t even act like he noticed. Oh, but you did.

You saw the attachment so clearly by the time the three of you had managed to escape the crumbling island via Ada Wong’s gifted jet ski that Ashely was so attached to the pair of you. She’d offered positions on her own personal detail to you, claiming she could put a word in with her father. Denials were made, kind smiles and the shaking of heads. Too kind of an offer and you liked your jobs, is what you’d told her. That wasn’t at all what you were thinking though.

Post a Hunnigan meltdown over your earpieces, the three of you were told to stay the night in a shabby, rundown little local hotel in a larger town a couple dozen miles south of the village. Still in Spain, still tired, still craving a warm shower. One room, two beds. Great, one of you was stuck sleeping with someone. Ashely offered for one of you to have a bed to yourself, she’d sleep with the other. Not a great idea. You and Leon — having spent many awkward and difficult missions together, so this was not strange to either one of you — decided on giving Ashley a bed to herself and taking the other together

If you’d been alone, oh how your lovestruck little heart would have burst. Sharing a bed with Leon Kennedy, the object of your affection. The sole performer in your wildest — and wettest — dreams. But you weren’t alone. Ashley was in the room, a matter of feet away, in her own double sized bed.

If she hadn’t been — to be vulgar and completely honest — nothing would have stopped you from fucking him then and there. The tension between the pair of you had been growing thicker since your arrival in Spain. It was thick, painfully so, and also horrifically obvious not only to you, but yet again, to Ashley. For the longer stretch of the mission, she’d expected a grand confession at any moment. A breakdown caused by a dangerous situation that ensued a moment of emotional and even physical vulnerability. But, to her dismay and yours, that never happened. Because, above all things, Leon was professional for a lack of a better word. He wasn’t going to allow his emotions to jeopardize the mission.

And so no breakdown of emotional distress and vulnerability played out. No confession of hearts bleeding for the other were cried out. Part of you was glad it hadn’t happened that way. But the larger part of your soul which was dedicated to Leon had wished it had. You longed for the day he realized he needed you too. But, to maintain professionalism and dignity, neither of you made such admissions.

Warm showers were taken in rotation in the tiny excuse for a bathroom. The shower was small and permanently stained with grime, but really was clean as the owner swore. The shower head was one of the older ones from the seventies that made the water come out in a dribble, then a forceful rainfall that hurt your back. The toiletries provided by the hotel were small and cheap, but you were clean. That’s all that mattered.

Sans dried blood and grime, you sat on Ashley’s bed, cross legged as you patched up each one of her injuries. Ashley had been the first to shower, after a fifteen minute debate with the two of you over who should go first. She had a few bandages and exposed scrapes that needed to be re-cleaned. So, with gentle hands you did so as Leon took use of his turn to shower.

“Looks good, no signs of infection so far. But, like I said before, I can’t tell too much without the right equipment.” You reassured Ashely as you finished patching up a cut on her arm and began to put your first aid kit back together.

“Thanks,” Ashley nodded, inspecting her scrape riddled skin. Small bruises and surface cuts were beginning to make their appearance, telltale signs of the brutality the three of you had endured in that village.

“Let me know if you feel feverish or see any swelling. That could mean infection.” You offered, being kind but stern.

“‘Kay,” the girl nodded, smiling up at you as you let out a sigh, leaning back on your hands on the bed.

You looked at her, smiling softly as your head tilted to the side a little. “Need me to kiss it better?”

At this, Ashley’s eyes went wide, her cheeks dusted with pink. You felt a little bad then, you just tried to ease the tension. “S’okay, Ashley. I was just playing.” You laughed, your tone lighthearted as you placed a gentle hand on her knee with an equally gentle smile.

It seemed the touch was worst than the comment. Ashley’s entire face went aflame, her eyes wide, and large as she stared at you. An uneasy ache settled in your chest, uncertainty lingering in the air as your smile faded. The initial shock between the pair of you didn’t last long as the door to the bathroom swung open.

“Jesus, you could’ve left me some hot water.” Leon grumbled as he stepped out into the room, lips downturned and brows etched in an annoyed frown.

The three of you were now paused as Leon’s eyes fell on you and Ashely — or more-so on the hand that rested on Ashley’s knee. Reality seemed to snap into place all at once for you, yanking your hand back and standing up.

“Let me check you out.” You mumbled, clearing your throat as you picked up the first aid kit and took residence on your own bed.

“No, I’m fine. Check on Ashley,” Leon shook his head, damp blond strands sticking to his forehead.

“Already did. Just finished. Your turn, whether you like it or not.” You stated, your tone final as you looked up at Leon, brows raised.

The agent let out a huff of agitation, grumbling something indiscernible as he sat down on the bed beside you. You began to gently inspect Leon's wounds- some small, others more intense. Despite his prior hesitation to be taken care of, he was stoic about it all. He sat still, unmoving, silent as you worked to disinfect and cover each wound with fresh bandages. The silence in the room was loud, startlingly uncomfortable as you patched Leon up.

A quick glance over at Ashley as you finished bandaging a deep cut that you'd quickly stitched up on the field showed her wide eyes. Wide baby blue focused on the way your fingers gently worked, how graceful and careful they were again the alabaster tone of Leon's skin.

"Doing okay over there, blondie?” Leon inquired, a small smirk playing on his face as he spotted Ashley's startling gaze on the wounds decorating his skin. He had mistook her fascination of your hands as nervousness of his wounds. But you knew. You could tell what her gaze meant.

"Oh, yeah. M'fine." Ashley recovered very quickly, to your surprise. Well, maybe it wasn't just your hands that had her enraptured, Leon was sitting on the bed, shirtless.

"Alright, hero-boy, all better." You smiled at Leon as you patted his bicep - earning a small, almost inaudible grumble from him - and moving to close your medical kit. You stood, tucking away in your pack and let out a sigh. "’Kay, l for one, am fucking exhausted."

“Yeah, me too,” Ashely murmured, an aura of discomfort still radiating from her. She offered a kind, if not awkward smile to the pair of you before settling into the bed, pulling the overs over her shoulders. “G’night.”

“‘Night,” you smiled, shuffling over to the bed you and Leon were sharing. You sat down on the edge, eyes trained on the back of Ashley’s head — the blonde hair, how it shimmered against the dim light of the single lamp in the room. You felt almost as if you weren’t really there.

“Need me to check you?” Leon asked, snapping you back to reality. You jolted a bit, looking at him from over your shoulder.

“Oh, nah, I’m okay.” You shook your head, clearing your throat as you settled into the bed, flicking off the lamp.

“Okay,” Leon shrugged, getting into the bed too, still in just a pair of pants. Everyone was in the barest of clothing. You in a tank top and underwear — Ashely in the same. It was all you had. All your clothes were soiled with dirt, and grime, and blood.

Thinking of nothing in particular, you laid there, staring up at the ceiling of the dark room. The walls creaked every once in a while, odd drafts filtered in from cracks in the ceiling or from the window. It was too quiet. And it stayed that way for a long while.

“Everything okay with Ashley?” Leon asked, his voice quiet, as not to wake the subject of conversation.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” You mumbled back, turning your head. He, too, was on his back. Both of you too afraid to face each other in bed, seeming too personal. “Why?”

“Just making sure.” His response was quiet, a little too nonchalant, as if he’d forced it to be casual. “It was awkward earlier.”

“Earlier?” You decided to play dumb, despite knowing that Leon wouldn’t believe it. He was well aware you knew what he was talking about. The touch. How Ashley had frozen when you’d touched her leg.

“Whatever, play stupid.” He scoffed with a half smile — a knowing smile. The bastard. “Just saying, she seems attached to you.”

“Oh, and she’s not with you, her hero?” You bit back with a hint of humor. Your voices were still low, hoping Ashely was asleep — or she couldn’t hear you if she wasn’t.

Leon laughed quietly, a rough scoff sound that echoed in your ears. You smiled at little at that sound. “Whatever you say,”

You frowned, gaining the confidence to shuffle onto your side, facing him as you contemplated what that simple, yet heavy ‘whatever’ meant. “What do you mean, whatever?”

Leon sighed, rolling onto his side to face you too. His eyes, still so blue even in the darkness of the motel room, bore into yours. It seemed he didn’t carry the same awkward feeling about this topic as you did. Or, maybe he did and he just hid it exceptionally well. But knowing him, that didn’t seem right.

“She’s just attached to you. Always at your side, or chatting your ear off. And what the hell was with that earlier?” He continued, brows furrowed in their eternal frown.

“I was patching her up. Making sure none of her cuts were infected.” You half shrugged, trying to play it off as something simple, even though it was so complex.

“She looked like she wanted to kiss you or something.”

“Oh, my God,” you rolled your eyes, trying to push away the way your chest tightened at the though. “You’re so fucking dramatic. She wasn’t gonna kiss me.”

“Okay,” Leon shrugged, his tone final and casually dismissive. Like he was finished talking about it. Like he didn’t believe you but didn’t want to say so.

“She was not going to kiss me.” You pushed, voice quiet yet firm. Your own brows were pulled into a frown, like what he’d said was offensive.

But it wasn’t. Kissing Ashley wasn’t a bad thought. It wasn’t as if you’d never kissed another girl before. The first time you had was in the training program for USSTRATCOM, your training partner who made you realize that all girls don’t look at other girls that way. She was the first, others followed.

Ashley was pretty, very pretty. Tall, pretty lips, and the blonde hair, blue eye thing, of course. Kissing her wouldn’t be so bad, really. It would probably be very nice. But nothing like kissing Leon, though.

“Okay.” Leon said again, shifting to lay on his back again, letting his eyes close. The finality of it all aggravated you. So, you asked him a question maybe you shouldn’t have.

“What if she did?” You asked, eyes narrowed and trained on him. A smile bloomed on your face at the way his eyes opened, his brows furrowing deeper at your question.

“What about it? It’s not my business.” Leon grumbled. But the tone he used made it wound like it was very much his business.

“M’kay.” You nodded, quietly celebrating to the way you’d seemed to have stumped him, surprised him.

For a moment, he didn’t respond. He stared at the ceiling, and you stared at him. It was deadly quiet, the rhythmic sound of Ashley’s breathing the sole sound in the room.

“Did you want her to?” Leon asked, mumbling quietly. His eyes stayed on the ceiling, as if he were afraid to look you in the eye when you answered. Afraid you had an answer he wouldn’t like.

“I dunno.” You admitted, honestly. You didn’t know, truly you didn’t. Kissing Ashely wouldn’t be so bad, but you hardly knew the girl. Not to mention her heavy attachment to you. It could get worse if she kissed you.

Leon nodded, not sure of how to answer your admission. He laid there, your eyes on him as you laid on your side. You wished so desperately for him to kiss you, or hold you, or do something. It was painful, the thought that he didn’t feel the same.

“Would that bother you?” You dared to ask, voice so low it was almost inaudible as you spoke.

Leon was still quiet for a long moment, maybe considering whether to answer seriously or with his usual dry humor. The latter won. “Not something I’d wanna walk in on.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Why? Because we’re girls?”

“Because she’d be kissing you.” He responding, saying it lightly, like the meaning of that simple sentence wasn’t the heaviest thing you’d ever heard.

Your mind did circles, your heart raced. Did he mean that because you were his partner? Or did he mean it out of jealousy. God, you hoped it was jealousy.

“What do you mean by that?” You questioned, voice apprehensive and unsure.

Leon shrugged, a soft, unintelligible grunt falling from his lips. He didn’t look over at you, his eyes still trained on the ceiling. The nagging feeling that was ever present in your chest worsened. The silence was deafening, painful. Then, finally, he spoke.

“It’d just be weird. It’s Ashely, it’d be weird.” He mumbled, like even he didn’t believe his own answer.

Leon’s words befuddled you, made you frown in contemplation. “Because it’s Ashley? What you mean by that?”

“I mean it’s Ashley. It’d be weird.” He repeated, not clarifying at all. This annoyed you.

Eyes narrowed, lips in a line, you scoffed. “Thanks for the explanation.”

“Anytime,” Leon clipped back playfully. But you were in no playful mood.

You huffed, Leon picking up on your attitude as you sat up in bed. “Seriously, what’d you mean by that?”

Leon let out a scoff of his own, rolling his eyes as he looked over at you. “I mean it’s just a weird thought. You and Ashley. We, we just met her, okay?”

“Oh,” you nodded, wishing you hadn’t jumped to your own conclusions internally. You’d thought he meant it was weird because she wasn’t him. Or maybe that he wanted to kiss you. Not such a simple and obvious answer.

“Yeah,” he nodded, letting out a small sigh to stifle a yawn. “Look, can we get some sleep now? Kinda have a long trip home tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” You mumbled, lying back down on your back, eyes on the cracked ceiling once again.

It was quiet again, the discomfort of silence present once more as Ashley slept in the bed next to yours, and Leon tired to sleep beside you. Your mind buzzed with a thousand variations of the same question: why did Leon actually care so damn much?

“Go to sleep. You think too loud.” Leon grumbled, shifting to lay on his side, back facing you.

“At least some of us think,” you quipped quietly, earning a scoff of a laugh from him before he went silent for the final time that night.

Of course Leon woke up at dawn. The asscrack of fucking dawn. And it wasn’t like he was quiet either. Shuffling of his feet as he stumbled to the bathroom, the sink creaking on. You tried so hard to stay asleep, but your stupid internal alarm clock was ringing too. Oh to be in D.C. where it was still dark.

“C’mon, get up. We need to get moving.” Leon said, his voice somewhat gentle as he rested a hand on your shoulder once he’d emerged from the bathroom, fully changed.

“I’m up. You’re loud.” You mumbled, voice muffled as you pressed your face into the pillow.

“Jesus,” Leon whispered under his breath. “Even Ashely’s up.”

“Good for her,” you nestled deeper into the pillow, hearing a second set of footsteps head toward the bathroom. Less than five short seconds later, Leon yanked the covers from your body, sending a muffled yelp from your lips.

“Up, we need to move.” Leon said again, giving your leg a small shake as you grumbled on about a lack of sleep. His gentleness was gone now, replaced by urgency.

Technically, you were still on ‘enemy grounds’. You weren’t safe until you were back on U.S. soil, and even then there carried a risk with Ashley in tow.

So, with more sour encouragement from Leon, you got up and changed into your now dry clothes. Once Ashely used up her turn in the bathroom, you took yours. And not long after, the three of you were heading back toward the lobby of the shabby motel.

You managed to convince Leon to stick around for an extra thirty minutes for a shitty cooked breakfast in the sad excuse for a dining room where the motel offered complimentary breakfast.

Once full of frozen scrambled eggs, stale toast, and really bad coffee, the three of you were on the move once more. It was tricky, getting home like this. Hunnigan had promised that of you made it to a certain location a few miles north of the motel, there would be a chopper waiting to pick you up. Hunnigan hadn’t failed you yet, so you didn’t doubt her.

“How much further?” Ashley asked, her brows creased, forehead already glistening with sweat as the three of you walked through the winding streets of a small village as you had been for the past few hours.

“Not too much. Tired?” You asked, slowing your steps to walk alongside the girl.

She nodded, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Sympathy panged in your chest — Ashley wasn’t built for this like you and Leon were. The two of you had trained for exhausting situations such as these, she had not. You frowned.

“Need some water?” You asked gently, holding out a canteen from your belt. Ashley nodded vigorously, taking the canteen and drinking deeply.

You motioned to Leon to stop for a moment, he frowned, but did nonetheless. You stood with Ashley as she drank, taking a break before going back to drinking the water.

“Thanks,” she smiled, handing the canteen back to you — now half empty. “Sorry, I drank a lot.”

“That’s okay. Can’t have you passing out on us now, can we?” You smiled, taking a sip yourself before latching it back on your belt.

Leon, noticing that Ashely was finished with her break, began walking again. You and Ashely followed, keeping a small bit of distance between you and Leon.

“Hey, I um, I overheard you and Leon talking last night. Not everything, but some of it.” Ashley confessed, her voice a bit hesitant.

“Oh, that so? What’d you hear exactly?” You asked casually, worry springing in your chest.

“Just, I’m sorry because I know you guys have a like, groove or whatever. And I mess it up and I make it weird.”

You frowned for a moment, thinking about her words. Then it hit you — she didn’t hear about the kissing discussion, just the last bit about her being new to the trio.

“Oh, Ashely. You don’t make anything weird. Leon and I… we weren’t talking about you making things weird.” You promised, lips curved downward as you and Ashley walked behind Leon.

“Then why’d Leon say that?” Ashely asked, the insecurity obvious in her voice.

You hesitated, unsure whether or not to say it to her face. That he’d thought you two were going to kiss. After a moment of consideration — and seeing Ashely’s sad, curious eyes — you decided to just say it. Consequences be damned.

“Because he thought you were going to try to kiss me. When he came out of the bathroom last night.” You explained gently, shrugging as if it weren’t a big deal. When it kind of was.

The girl was quiet for a long moment, her brows creased, lips turned downward. She swallowed, looking back at you from where she’d been staring at her feet. “And he meant it’d be weird if I did kiss you?”

“Yeah, that’s what he meant. Not because we’re girls,” you were quick to interject your previous statement. “But because it’s just… that you and I don’t really know each other that well.”

Ashley nodded, walking beside you as you followed Leon along the uneven stone paths. Every once in a while, he’d glance backward to make sure you weren’t lingering behind or somehow gotten lost.

“Okay,” one simple word carried such finality. It shook you — Ashley was uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird. I just wanted to be honest.” You tried to explain gently but firmly. You didn’t want her to think you were strange.

“You didn’t make me feel weird.” Ashely shook her head, eyes squinting in the mid-afternoon sun as she looked over at you.

You smiled a little, relieved you hadn’t put her off or made her uncomfortable. That really was the last thing you wanted. “Good,”

The three of you continued to walk along, and a little further up, you demanded a break. Leon huffed, claiming you didn’t have time for a break. But the sun was warm and you were quickly running out of water.

So, you stopped for a quick fifteen minutes before setting off again. Leon was walking much quicker than before — dead set on getting to the extraction point before sundown. Which was very much possible as you were a mere four miles away.

There was a chopper waiting, just as Hunnigan had promised. God, you’d mentally decided to name your first born after her, so thankful to finally leave Spain and sit your ass down.

You sat beside Leon in the back compartment of the chopper, all three of you sporting massive headsets to protect your ears. You chatted away with the pilot — a friend of Hunnigan’s named Danny who was funny, and reminded you of the late Mike who died in pursuit of getting you and Leon out of trouble in the village.

With the promise of a good meal and actual hot showers, Danny flew the three of you home. You were busy looking outside the chopper when Leon nudged your knee with his, earning a slightly venomous glare from you before he pointed to Ashley. Who was dead asleep across from you.

The ride back to D.C. was long, around six hours. Most of which were spent talking with Danny or falling asleep, slumped against Leon’s shoulder. Around twenty minutes before you were set to land — you and Leon had been previously discussing what you were doing first, eating, sleeping, or showering — you shook Ashley awake.

The poor thing was groggy and half asleep as you all filed off the chopper and bid goodbye to Danny — whom you’d made a promise to meet up with and have drinks in honor of Mike at his favorite bar he’d mentioned before he tragically died.

A government issued SUV waited for you, instructing the three of you to pile into the back so you could be taken straight to the President, then to testing. Which you put up a damn good fight. Who the fuck cared about testing? You were hungry and tired and dehydrated as hell. Leon shut you up quick though, despite not being happy about the arrangement himself.

Unfortunately, the car ride was around a half an hour. The driver — not as intimidating had he’d first appeared — flicked between radio stations ntil he landed on one he knew was Ahsley’s favorite. (Apparently he’d been the one to drive Ashely to college, so he knew what music she liked).

Much to Ashely’s dismay and deathly embarrassment, the fucking Backstreet Boys were playing. The driver turned it up, also having the knowledge that this particular track was one of Ashley’s favorites.

Unfortunately, you knew the lyrics too. You mumbled along with them, Leon biting back a smile at how ridiculous his own field partner could be.

“You like the Backstreet Boys?” Ashely asked, her cheeks a bit warm as you bopped your head to the beat and hummed along.

“Nah, but don’t be embarrassed.” You shook your head, smiling at the girl who was sitting between you and Leon.

“Music is music, blondie.” Leon agreed, nodding his head with your positive attitude. He looked back over Ashely’s head at you, trying hard not to smile at your antics. God, you could be so stupidly immature sometimes.

“Oh,” Ashley mumbled, slinking down further in her seat as the driver made the final turn and parked the SUV.

Leon exited first, then Ashley, and you to follow up the rear. You and Leon were armed, still charged with protecting Ashely, no matter the fact that you were indeed on U.S. soil again, and at the White House. The President didn’t greet you outside to your surprise, but you were ushered immediately to his office.

There he was reunited with his daughter, the emotional moment making you have to quietly clear your throat because it even choked you up to see Ashley so happy to see her father again.

You and Leon were thanked profusely, promised your compensation and the highest of honors and awards. To which you didn’t really want (except the money, fuck, you wanted the money), but you knew better than to even try to deny.

With that, you and Leon were quickly dismissed, told you were being led to government testing to be sure you really were clear of the parasites. You gave Ashley a quick goodbye smile and hug, Leon giving her a pat on the shoulder, telling her to behave herself.

She looked so unsure, so strange standing in the Oval Office, clothes grimy and blood stained, hair mussed as she watched you and Leon being escorted from the room.

The First Daughter felt a strange sort of emptiness in her chest then, watching you leave. Her brows furrowed as her father spoke incessantly to her about how worried he’d been and how much he missed her. You were agents, assigned to bring her home and leave. No more, no less. So why was she so devastated to see you go?

Of course, you felt a little sad to leave the girl behind. Despite spending only around forty-eight hours with Ashley, you found yourself realizing you’d miss her. Her smile and her comments and her laugh. The way she always asked if you were alright when you should have been doing so to her. How she tried her hardest to defend you and Leon, despite her chronic helplessness.

These things were not spoken to Leon though as you two walked out of the White House together, followed by guards back to the SUV you’d arrived in. But, even though you didn’t say it, you knew Leon felt it too. Somehow, in forty-eight short hours, Ashley had left a mark on you. The both of you. And you missed her already.

“Wait!” You stopped in your tracks, you and Leon almost simultaneously looking over your shoulder to see Ashley running out of the White House after you. She was panting, trying to catch up.

She ran to Leon first, wrapping her arms around his neck, taking the agent by such surprise it made him stumble backwards a bit. Leon wasn’t much of a hugger, you knew this personally. But, despite the action being hesitant and awkward, he hugged her back.

After a few moments — which you knew in your bones were long for Leon — he gave her a quick pat on the back. Ashely took the motion in stride and unlinked herself, smiling at him.

Then, she turned to you. Of course, you expected a hug as well, and you got one. She wrapped her arms around your neck too, you wrapped your arms around her middle, hugging her back with no hesitation. But what you hadn’t expected, was for her to lean back and press a kiss to your lips.

You paused, frozen, eyes wide as Ashley kissed you. What the fuck? She wasn’t a bad kisser, actually. You felt a little bad, not kissing her back as Ashley pulled away, letting go of you and taking a step back. You sort of wished you had kissed her back. But, as the girl stood there, she held no contempt for the fact that you hadn’t. She knew she’d taken you by complete surprise.

“Thank you, both of you. I know I already said it, but thank you for saving my life. It, it means a lot.” Ashely said, her lips — which had been as soft as you thought they were — curved in a sweet smile. Baby blue eyes darted between you and Leon.

Leon who was as shocked as you that Ashley had kissed you with such little hesitation. He was still recovering as well.

Ashely said no more, just offering one last wide smile before turning around and walking away. Her guard — which had followed her outside, running behind her — escorted her. She didn’t even look back, didn’t get a second look at the still shocked look on your face.

“Holy fuck,” you said finally, looking away from Ashley’s retreating figure to look at Leon. He was shocked as well, brows raised as he blinked for a moment.

“Yep, that was weird.” Leon mumbled, nodding as if in affirmation. He said no more, turning around and walking to the SUV, leaving you in momentary silence.

You blinked yourself back to the present, realizing Leon’s comment. You frowned, turning and quickly walking to the SUV as well. “So I didn’t just have a dehydration induced hallucination? She actually kissed me?”

“She actually kissed you,” Leon nodded as he buckled in the SUV, you climbing in and sitting beside him. The car started and rolled out of the parking lot.

“Oh my God.” You said, brows raised, shaking your head. You were unsure of what else there really was to say. You were at a total loss for words.

“Fucking weird.” Leon shook his head, whispering again.

This caused you to look over at him, brows raised. “Why? Because we’re girls?” You brought up your challenge from the previous night, knowing full well you’d get the same damn response.

“No, because it's you.”

You frowned deeper, lips downturned. Oh, you liked a good fucking challenge. “You think I’m like, un-kissable, or something, Kennedy?”

Leon rolled his eyes, exhaustion obviously catching up to him. He looked tired — physically and mentally. “I didn’t say that. It’s just weird.”

“See, that’s not an explanation. Just like it wasn’t last night.” You chided, eyes narrowed.

“Christ,” Leon mumbled under his breath as shook his head, clearly regretting ever speaking in the last five minutes. “It’s just weird to see my partner being kissed like that.”

You took this as your chance, a grin forming on your lips. “By another girl? Or just in general?”

“General.” Leon responded, obviously not caring of how bored it sounded.

“Jealous or something?” You challenged further, lips pulled in a shit-eating grin.

Oh you’d gotten him there. You could tell by the way Leon’s shoulders tensed and his too casual expression that he was, indeed, sickeningly jealous. An idea — stupid, one that may ruin your dynamic — popped into your head.

You turned your body to face Leon in the backseat, grinning as he frowned at your sudden closeness. With no hesitation or moment for him to react, you leaned forward and kissed him. Square on the mouth. It must be a thing for blondes to have really soft lips.

Leon didn’t say a word, didn’t pull back, didn’t move. He just let you kiss him. Which was strange in and of itself. You placed a hand on his cheek, him a hand on the back of your neck. Eureka, he’d wanted to kiss you all along. Fuck yes, that’s all you could think.

Leon was a decent kisser too, a really good kisser actually. You scooched a little closer, allowing him to hold you by the back of your neck, your body relaxed against his as if it were natural to do so.

Was this what Ashely was feeling when she’d kissed you? Absolute elation and joy? You didn’t let yourself wonder too much, getting swept up in the fact that you were kissing Leon. His hand was gentle yet firm on the back of your neck, your hand on his cheek drifting down to rest against his chest. This moment, God you wished it could last forever.

Which unfortunately, it didn’t. You heard someone clear their throat, the driver looking at you through the rear view mirror. You pulled back, cheeks a little warm. You must look like some sort of girl. Someone who got around maybe. First the First Daughter had kissed you, now you were verging on making out with your field partner in the backseat of a government vehicle.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, pulling away from Leon and sitting back on the seat.

Leon scoffed to himself, letting his hand fall from where it’d been resting on the back of your neck. “You’re stupid,”

“Excuse me?” You let out a small laugh. You’d kissed him and he was calling you stupid? What the hell?

“I can’t believe it took you that long to realize.” Leon shook his head, making you roll your eyes. He’d been jealous the whole time. So the comment of how weird it’d been that Ashley would kiss you — and actually had — was exactly what you thought. Huh, you were some amateur detective.

“Shut up,” you smiled, mumbling as you crossed your arms over your chest, sinking into the seat.

“Nope.” Leon shook his head, making you smile wider.

Maybe these tests wouldn’t be so bad, now that you had two kisses to think on. One you could only ever remember, and one you could receive a million more of once all this was over.

how you can help Palestine! 🇵🇸

[thepradapariah]

Astrology Observations

Twin Flames 😇😈, Karmics 🪐 & Soulmates 🕊

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Hello to all the Kosmic Baddies!! And welcome to all the new ones! I ADORE you all. All the positive comments and words of encouragement really make my soul warm and it means the world to me that you enjoy the content as much as I enjoy making it.

You all have given me the energy to write something else! And I appreciate it because I get so bored……………………………………

Thank y’all. Love y’all and I hope y’all enjoy this post. If you aren’t interested in my definitions, you can scroll down to the observations. I promise, I won’t take it personally :)

With Love & Lust,

A-D

INTRODUCTION

Unlike most of my other posts, this is a breakdown for how to read soulmate connections in a chart. Most of these observations are ones that me and my sister made just studying couples in pop culture and in our personal relationships. I thought it would be a fun post to write how I categorize these different kinds of relationships.

This post is probably my most subjective in awhile. These aren’t rules, per-say, but they are patterns I noticed when studying different relationships.

First, I will breakdown MY interpretations of what all these different titles mean, and then I will breakdown how they MAY appear in a chart. It is imperative to have the correct birth details for these observations to reign true. In Vedic Astrology, you don’t have to have a birth time because you can use these same calculations through the Moon chart. (Making the moon sign the ascendent. For instance, I am an Aquarius Sun and an Aries Moon, so my Moon chart starts with Aries. So my first house is in Aries, Second house in Taurus, third house in Gemini etc. My sister on the other hand is a Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, so her Moon Chart would be Scorpio in the first house, Sagittarius in the second house, Capricorn in the third house etc. Moon charts are a nifty thing to look at when doing astrological overlays, particularly if you don’t have an accurate birth time).

Again, just a friendly reminder that this is a PERSONAL OPINION piece. Now, for those of you who have been with me for my previous post, you know I’m not talking out my ass. So I can absolutely promise that I am giving you the most educated and thought out explanation that I can give at the moment. I am by no means the final say on ANY of this stuff, I am far from God and don’t want to be the judge or the jury…it is faaaarrr too much work. But please understand that there may be some things in this post you disagree with~ that is LOVELY, share your opinion with me in the comment section, I am more than happy to hear from you and listen to your insight!

But without further ado, let's break this down shall we?

DEFINITIONS

Karma:

Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.: Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.

Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

Soulmates:

Soulmates are just that– a mate for your soul. This is another soul, individual, or essentially another life force that you just “get”. Every relationship comes with its ups and downs and soulmates always seem to find one another no matter what. I find animals to be some of the BEST examples of soulmates out there. Isn’t it crazy how you can form a bond with another life force? I don’t find it to be a coincidence that animals and their hoomans can even look alike!

But enough with the furry friends, let's talk about hooman friends as well! Soulmates can also manifest as people (duh…)– whether super long lasting or a fleeting moment. Some friendships can prove to be some of the most profound soulmates in the course of a lifetime.

And of course…a soulmate can be a lover. We will discuss what can make a soulmate different from a twin flame further in the post. But yes, soulmates can absolutely manifest as boyfriends/girlfriends/theyfriends/husbands/wifes/partners etc. This is probably the most common and sought after kind of soulmate in mainstream culture, but I cannot express enough how soulmates can manifest in so many different ways. You know how Prince would rock out with that beautiful purple guitar? I consider that guitar to be a soulmate? After all, they shared a vibration and what is a man without his tools? As long as science says that everything is made up of tiny atoms, and each person, place, or thing contains its own vibration, we are bound to time and space by our soul’s connection. These types of connections help us move through the void of the darkness and chaos that is the universe, and we will be defined by the contracts of our souls through lifetimes and eons. (Smeeexxiiii, huh)

Twin Flames:

All twin flames are soulmates, but not all soulmates are twinflames. This is IMPERATIVE to understand when you are defining your connections for yourself. It seems to be trendy in mainstream culture to conflate the two, but these relationships have very distinct qualities and very different karmas (lessons). For the sake of starting on solid ground, let’s say that Twin Flames are like soulmates on steroids. Why? Because the contract level of Twin Flames can be an extremely heightened feeling and bring out the best and worst of ourselves so we can confront ourselves through a mirror like image, a reflection, if you will, so we can truly see ourselves through a 3rd eye perspective. Sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, huh? Well, it kind of is. This may be a hot take, but it is an important one, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. I repeat, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. Why? Again, because this is HIGH level spiritual work that most souls just aren’t prepared to encounter. To be fair, just because it’s high level spiritual work does not equate to it being “high vibrational”. Most Twin Flame journeys deal with lower vibrations in order to raise them. So don’t confuse the work with the payoff. Twin Flames catapult one’s soul to the next dimension when it comes to spiritual growth and learning. One of the most popular modern examples of a Twin Flame relationship is…drum roll, please…Twilight (Spoiler Alert!). Bella started out as an innocent, run-of-the-mill suburban average teenage boring, blah blah blah, nothing-special kind of girl, with perhaps a proclivity towards darkness, who got entangled with a 300 year old vampire (or however old….), went on to experience the highs and very very very lows of a relationship, flirted with death, lost him, got him again, was deflowered, got pregnant, damn near lost her life trying to give birth and ultimately had to be “killed”/ “turned” by Edward– literally (or figuratively because it’s in a book…) “dying” to be born again and made anew. Essentially growing from an innocent virginal girl, to a very powerful woman & mother. Meanwhile, Jacob, who I would argue is simply a soulmate (see the difference…he was obviously the “safer” choice, but would not have sparked that dramatic of a shift in her soul) just watches from the sidelines. It’s just worth noting how traumatic that entire 4-book series and 5-part movie is from Bella’s perspective, but also from Edward’s. His darkness engulfed her willingly, like Hades to Perspephone. He wasn’t really a willing participant– until he unleashed all his passions and desires onto her. She reflected back to him a purer version of himself that was lost to the past and to his “vampirism”, while she was drawn to him to take her out of the mundane expectations of suburban living. Both parties were made to sacrifice a sacred part of themselves in order to embrace one another, but ultimately to embrace their truest form. For Bella, it was her becoming a mind-bending vampire…a FAR cry from the less than average suburban girl she started as. And for Edward, it was to bring love and happiness back into his life. He had to let go of his “I’m a monster” perspective of himself and see that although he is a lust driven, blood sucking, overly wealthy, perpetual teenager…he is…in fact, worthy of love. Awwww…now isn’t that just…romantic? To the teenage version of me…yes. To the adult version of me who has bills to pay…not so much. However, the story is a powerful one because it clearly illustrates the drama, the passion, the highs, the lows, the love, the lust, the hate, the envy in a spiritual twin flame connection.

(Tangent, but the word envy made me realize another key difference in the twin flame journey versus the soulmate or karmic journey…Envy plays a major part in twin flame relationships. There is something that you feel your twin has, that you feel like you don’t. Going back to our Twilight example, Bella envied Edward for his mystique, and his seemingly other worldly experiences. She envied his relationship to his own darkness. She found him interesting, to say the least. He was a masterful artist, a great pianist, wicked smart, and a selfless individual. Bella, at best, was a mid-level high school student. She didn’t have any talent, any hobbies, any desires. She was very boring and humdrum. She envied him for being so ridiculously complex. She was essentially a blackhole, wanting to be filled by him– sexually, physically, mentally, etc…She wanted nothing more than to dissolve into his world, inheriting his self-hatred and his life issues (like the Volutrie)...she envied his essence. On the other hand, Edward was envious of her purity. He found deep comfort in her lack-lusterness. She was beyond ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, she became extraordinary to him. To see a virginal young woman, full of life, and promise, brought him great desire. A desire he fought for like 3 books/movies. Edward, was by far, the “runner” in this scenario because he absolutely felt that his presence in Bella’s life would destroy her. And for what it’s worth, he was absolutely correct. He demolished her from the inside out– taking her virginity to ultimately making her a mother, an evolutionary act within itself. The triumph of the virgin to the whore pipeline (lol, no pun intended, but pun definitely accepted). Tangent over lol)

BUT what makes them a twin flame specific quality is the fact that you realize, you are actually the same. Edward was equally as dark as he was pure and same for Bella. There was no need to envy one another because they were both capable of all states of being. Edward and Bella are a good and bad example of twin flames, because they are the rare twin flames that stay together. So it’s beautiful they were able to find a middle ground and create a child and merge families–blah blah blah…but, that is pretty uncommon. MOST, not all, but MOST twins do not end up with a happily ever after. They usually are unable to reconcile their souls' differences. These relationships are usually to prepare one another for a high vibrational soulmate.

Karmic Soulmates:

Karmic Soulmates, are souls that have past-life unfinished business OR are meant to inspire a lesson that may or may not be resolved in this life in general. Karma/Karmic is a neutral term, so this type of relationship doesn’t have to be inherently good or inherently bad. It is a relationship that brings forth lessons so the soul can carry out the rest of its karmic mission. These relationships can play out in a romantic way, but they tend to be more on the platonic side. You can be in a Karmic relationship with your mother, brother, sister, teacher, etc. as well as a place! You can have a significant bond with a city, country, place and time. Anything that promotes the soul’s growth through support, challenges and forces you to learn, is a karmic contract/soulmate.

You are certainly meant to learn. But because of Karma being ruled by the planet Saturn, these relationships can go on for a long time, can be extremely difficult and will keep pressisting until the lesson is learned and the karma is fulfilled.

Karmics tend to have a negative connotation, particularly in the youtube tarot world, but it genuinely doesn’t have to be. In fact, I argue that all significant relationships are inherently karmic– be it clearing up Karma from a past-life, or creating new karma for the next.

Always remember, the universe is neutral. Lessons are neutral. Love/Hate is…neutral. We need not judge the nature of any relationship, including our own, if it means to help enlighten, enrich and grow our souls. We are social creatures and we don’t learn lessons about ourselves in a vacuum. Different souls, people, places, and things can trigger our growth in ways that we are incapable of imagining beforehand.

I say all that to say, as one of my favorite quotes from a family friend who passed away years ago said, “some things, you just don’t need to experience”. There will be times in life where you touch the fire and need to feel it to get burned…other times, you will know what that burning feels like and will turn away. This is the perfect system of Karma. Sometimes you will get burned, whether you “asked for it” or not, and other times, you will know that there is no need to even play with the fire to begin with.

So take everything in life with a grain of salt and a shot of whiskey! Life is supposed to be fun…even the not so fun parts! Live, laugh, love, lust & learn! Enjoy the moment.

(This is a great example of a non romantic karmic, he wrote this song for his grandmother who passed & it catapulted him to another dimension career wise)

OBSERVATIONS

Observation 1

Do not underestimate the power of Chinese Astrology

Hear. Me. Out. I haven’t found a more accurate astrology for relationships than Chinese astrology. Crazy, I know. But Chinese Astrology is extremely straightforward. Screw the birth times, you just need a month and year and you’ve got all you need. I always joke that I exclusively date through Chinese Astrology, but I am seriously only half kidding (lol). I kid you not, whenever I study my relationships through this particular astrological lens, I am genuinely AWE STRUCK with how uncannily accurate it is. Try it! Next time you find yourself dating, or even checking the compatibility with your current mate, read a few articles and see how it lines up for you. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I manifest partners through their Chinese zodiac because I am so passionate about it! It hasn’t let me down yet!

***Note: I don’t have this as an official observation because it’s not astrologically based, but look into numerology as well when studying compatibility! It is VERY insightful.

Observation 2

Usually Twin Flames/Soulmates have Gemini placements somewhere in their personal planets or ascendent

So this take may not sit well with everyone, because you may feel limited in the types of soulmates you can encounter if you don’t have any Gemini placements. Fret not, keep reading, you may fit in another category.

I am not saying that this is the LAW, I am saying this simply is something I have noticed when studying what I consider twin flame relationships. In most Twin Flame/Soulmate relationships, the Zodiac sign of the twin is usually present for BOTH individuals/souls. The psychic nature of Gemini makes it very easy to just “get” someone, and feel as if you’ve known them for years. Have you ever heard two Geminis talk to one another? It can be hard to keep up with them!

Soooooo…..I feel the same to be true when it comes to these kinds of intense relationships.

It is also worth noting that Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Mercury/Hermes in Greek Mythology is the only God that can travel between Mt. Olympus (Heaven, so to speak) and The Underworld (Hell, if you will). I think this is important because it demonstrates why Gemini placements in particular can experience a love of such depth. It can go into the pits of hell and to the glories of heaven with ease, making it one of the most valuable placements for a twin flame relationship.

Another note is, in traditional tarot, The Lovers card is depicted by the twins. I feel this is a significant indicator of a deep soulmate connection because of the telepathy and how intertwined lovers/gemini energy can be. The inherent closeness of these soulmates is intrinsic to closeness that is required for any level soulmate/twinflame. Nonverbal communication can play a major role in these types of connections. As chatty as Geminis can be, it’s what they don’t say that ACTUALLY matters. Only another Gemini person would understand that.

Now, Virgo is also ruled by Mercury, but Venus is in detriment in the sign of Virgo. I don’t think Virgo fits this description as well, because Virgo is inherently about solitude, represented by The Hermit in traditional tarot, making it more about virginity/purity than about a 3D twin flame physical connection. To be honest, I just haven’t witnessed it as much when dissecting charts, but I will study it more and perhaps my opinion will change. But as of right now, I don’t believe Virgo placements depict as strong of a connection as Gemini in this case. Feel free to prove me wrong! I’m always open.

Back to Geminis…It seems so weird that Gemini energy would be the ones who attract such intense relationships because they seem so, unloving…but one of my favorite Gemini on Gemini relationships is Courtney Love (Gemini Sun & Moon) and Kurt Cobain (Gemini Moon). Ooof. OOOF. But it was like they had their own language and lived in their own world. Now, that relationship ended up in tragedy…but hey…they had some “fun” moments. They were so similar and too similar at the same time, that it fueled an outwardly bizarre connection, but to them it made perfect sense. This is the power that a double gemini connection can have. Minus to tragedy part.

Observation 3

Twin Flames almost always have the SAME zodiac placements or DIRECT OPPOSITE zodiac placements.

This rule, without fail, is one of the most important and powerful observations that I have come across. If you are checking the zodiac for twin flame compatibility, I will almost say YOU MUST have the same or opposite placements in the big three (rising, sun, moon) and/or Venus and Mars.

This can be ANY SIGN in ANY HOUSE.

For example: You have Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Cancer, Rising in Sagittarius…Your twin could have Sun in Virgo, Moon in Taurus, Rising in Aries. Because the Sun and Moon are in opposite signs, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

Another example: You have Sun in Gemini, Moon in Aquarius, Rising in Pisces…Your twin could have Sun in Libra, Moon in Leo, Rising in Aquarius. Because the Moon and Rising are in the same sign, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

You can mix and match, as long as something mixes and other things matches (lol). I’ve seen so many charts of couples that share placements or have opposite placements and immediately I go “uh! Twin Flame!”.

I think this is due to the illicit push and pull nature/mirroring nature of Twin Flame relationships.

This is where “real” science comes in. All energy has an action and a reaction to create equilibrium. This is why this particular observation is so important. As I’ve stated from the beginning, when it comes to Twin Flame relationships, they are meant to teach, expand, challenge and heal, so it makes sense that you would be met with the opposite force and attract one another OR the same force and repel one another. (Let’s talk physics…think magnets…two positives and two negatives repel, but a negative and a positive attract…woot woot! Call me Bill Nye biiisshhhessss) The entire effect is to make your soul ebb and flow so it can reach a state of neutrality. You want someone to challenge your opinions and your sense of self so you can know what/ who you are. If you’ve never had a mirror, how do you know what you look like? Again, the same is true when someone is so similar to you. You may look at them and go “wow, is this how I come off?”. Just to reemphasis, I don’t want this to come across as an inherently negative thing, it doesn’t have to be. It just usually requires a highly developed spiritual understanding to see that. This particular alignment can give the “can’t live with em, can’t live without em” feeling.

If you have complementary placements, like your Sun is in Capricorn and your partner has their Moon in Taurus, this may be more of an indication of a soulmate connection. The same can be true if you are both air/air or air/fire or water/water or water/earth.

Now, another way you can see it is if you have opposing elements. But, I don’t think it reads as strong as actual zodiac signs.

Just to be clear, all my examples thus far have been using Sun, Moon and Rising, but this trick can extend to Mars and Venus. So let’s say you have Venus in Cancer and your partner has Mars in Capricorn…it counts!

Observation 4

For long-term compatibility, your partner’s Venus will be the same as one of your placements in your big three or your venus– ESPECIALLY WOMAN in Heteronormative connections or Males in same-sex relationships.

Trigger warning for those who are sensitive about pronouns…please use your imagination. I am talking about ANCIENT astrology, so it is rooted in traditional gender norms. You may disagree, that is fine, no judgment, but for the sake of this observation, you can bear with me…or ignore it. The choice is yours!

Now, I am talking about a man’s Venus placement here. In traditional astrology, Venus indicates the man’s wife. So if your “man” has Venus in Pisces, you may have Pisces Sun, Moon, Rising OR Venus/any other water placements. This would make you complementary. In fact, I would say if his Venus placement aligns with your chart, other placements in the chart won’t matter as much.

For example, You are a Gemini Sun, Libra Moon, Aquarius Rising. If your partner is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising, BUT their Venus is in Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra…you’re in luck! From the big three, it may seem as if you are completely incompatible, but low and behold, your partner loves what you are putting down, so the “differences” may not be so different after all.

Venus is EXTREMELY important to long-term relationships. So is the 7th house. I won’t go down that rabbit hole for this particular post, but keep that in the back of your mind.

These connections may not be as intense as Twin Flame, but this is certainly a great indication for a wonderful connection. Let me say, like I said in the beginning, not every soul needs to experience a twin flame connection for its evolution. If you are wanting something more grounded, then follow this rule of thumb when checking initial compatibility with a partner.

BONUS: If your person’s Venus falls in your first house, this is a great indication of producing love at first sight! Now…other placements matter, obviously, but this is an extremely powerful indication of strong, immediate, attraction.

Side Note: For Women, you would look at your Jupiter placement for compatibility with your “husband”! I find that you can also use this rule for Mars when it comes to “boyfriends” as well.

Observation 5

Synastry and Overlays Matter!!!!!!!

Definitions:

Synastry- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates the planetary alignment between two individuals.

Examples- Mars conjunct Venus or Sun trine Saturn

Overlay- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates how a person’s planets fall into another person’s house system.

Examples- Person A’s Jupiter is in Person B’s 8th House. Or Person A Venus sits in Person B’s First House.

(if these are new concepts to you, I HIGHLY suggest you do some research. Tumblr has some wonderful posts dedicated to these practices that are highly informative. I would love to do posts concerning synastry and overlays in the future!)

Okay, this may be the MOST important observation, but it is more advanced than Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus compatibility. This requires you to have knowledge of the WHOLE HOUSE system (sorry, western astrology) and deep comprehension of planets, conjunctions, oppositions, trines, squares and aaaaallll that good stuff.

My sister and I LOVE synastry and overlays. It really puts entire relationships into context to see how your chart lines up and what underlying energies you’re dealing with, regardless of the actual placements. How the planets react to one another and how those planets show up in your chart is MUY IMPORTANTE! Chances are, if you’ve read these other rules and they haven’t resonated with you, I guarantee, you’ve had a relationship that is based more on planetary alignment than zodiac compatibility.

(Just to be clear…this is why I started off with Chinese astrology…Chinese astrology is INSANELY accurate and doesn’t require nearly as much study as what I am saying here. DO NOT underestimate the power of Chinese astrology when it comes to compatibility. I love how accurate it is with very little information.)

With this rule, you don’t need birth times, but my goodness do they make an impact when doing overlays. If you don’t have accurate birth times, always remember you can do it off the moon chart, which essentially makes the moon the ascendent sign. Just know, for an accurate overlay, you will need to use the moon sign for BOTH charts. It will not be as accurate if you use your birth chart with an accurate birth time and overlay to their moon sign. It isn’t “wrong” per say, it just isn’t nearly as precise. You want to use the same charts. Moon charts overlay one another and natal charts overlay one another. If you have both birth times, then do both! Go wild! The more the merrier!

Now, I am not going to go in depth about what these two practices mean, because that’s an entire post within itself and I wanted to keep this one “short and sweet”. But I will say, for a rule of thumb, if you have strong trines, oppositions, and conjunctions with a person, that is an indicator of a twin flame, soulmate, and karmic connection. If you have Saturn, Pluto, Venus, Neptune and Mars with low orbs, this can indicate a soul contract/intense connection. If yours or their placements sit in your 1st/7th/8th/12th house, this can be a VERY strong indication of a powerful & spiritual connection. There are plenty of ways this can be mixed and matched. The relationship between two charts is so important, they are a study within themselves. I am only scratching the surface here, so if you are a novice, again, I cannot express enough how exciting it is to do some digging when it comes to this stuff in relationships.

There are plenty of free synastry calculators online, so please use them as a resource– even if you don’t understand the calculations, it is important to see the results. These placements can truly unlock a much deeper understanding of your relationships that you just won’t get when it comes to looking solely at your charts at face value!

Let me know if you’d like me to discuss these topics further moving forward! You know I love to spread the knowledge, and there is just something so sexy about synastry and overlays…it’s honestly one of my favorite parts about Vedic astrology!

Bonus: North Node/Rahu and South Node/Ketu can play a VITAL role when determining what kind of karmic relationship you are in.

POP QUIZ

Just kidding, there is no test, because I’m too lazy to grade anything, BUT here is an example of what I’m talking about when combining the previous observations. I am not doing a super deep dive, but I want you to see how everything overlaps and intersects.

Let’s use Rihanna and ASAP Rocky as an example. Their connection hits on a few different cylinders. Rihanna is an Aquarius Sun and ASAP Rocky has his Venus in Leo. Why does this matter? Although Rihanna is an opposite, so Sun opposition Venus, which is twin flame-y, she is a FAMOUS, CREATIVE, ENTERTAINER and MUSE…this is ALL dealing of the 5th House/Leo energy, so it make sense…for now…as to why he would be attracted to her. She has No Leo placements in her big three, but because it’s the opposite, we go to that push-pull magnet thing I was talking about earlier. As far as how their relationship will play out long-term, I have ZERO idea, but I can say their attraction to one another is very real, but it will probably be volatile at times because of the Sun Venus Opposition. I’m sure her ego will cause difficulties to his love language, BUT he may be able to take it, because his Venus is ruled by the Sun. See how layered and complex it can be? And we are just looking at one placement. They work because he enjoys the attention that she brings (not in a vampire way, just in a “wow, isn’t my lady so cool” kind of way) and he allows her to shine without dimming her light, while she enjoys the fawning that he gives her. He loves that his partner is larger than life and Rihanna is larger than life because…well…she’s Rihanna. She is able to appreciate him, because at this point in time, he doens’t in any way seem like he is trying to compete with her. He is a confident person who can stand beside and behind such a force, BECAUSE he has such a strong Venus placement.***

Relationships aren’t black and white. These are just observations and rules/patterns that I have found to be true. But as you’ll see, as I have presented, some things will contradict, some things won't make sense, what makes sense for one chart doesn’t make sense for another. Etc… This is such a fun topic because it really is like a puzzle. And it really is a case by case basis. The more in depth you can look at a chart, the more knowledge you can walk away with.

FINAL THOUGHTS/MINI RANT

Oof….okay, what a ride! (Can you believe I had the intention of this being a short post. HA!) I hope that you were able to take something away from this post and learn something new! As you can see…there is a very intricate science behind how soulmates/karmics and twin flames work. It is so much deeper than saying “oh wow, that’s my twin flame”...like…maybe? I feel mainstream spirituality/astrology/tarot has taken that phrase and run with it. And saying “if you identify as twin flames then you are” is misleading. It really isn’t something you “identify” with. They either are or are not your twin flame. There isn’t an in between. It is not ambiguous and it can be fact checked. Also, twin flame makes it seem like you can only have one…I don’t think that’s the case. I think you meet as many “twins”/mirrors/soulmates/karmics as you need until your soul learns the lesson. Have you ever felt like you just keep meeting the same person over and over and over again? That’s because we are talking about soul recognition and not necessarily 3D body recognition.

You may be attracting different “people”, but you could be attracting the same “spirit”. So don’t always get so hung up on a particular person. TRUST ME BABES, if there is unfinished business, that same energy will come back around over and over and over and over again until you geeeetttt ittttt.

Another note is, if you’re like me, and you have exalted Venus in Pisces conjunct Ketu…then every relationship feels twin-flame-y. Why? Because I have my relationship planet tightly conjunct my south node, so I am on a spiritual journey on my own when it comes to relationships…my twin flame is most likely…Jesus Christ…sooooooo……yeah. (I kid, I kid, but not really. My placement can indicate being a nun…and trust me, after dealing with the crap I’ve had to put up with when it comes to these men folks, I have absolutely considered giving my body to God…cuz these men just don’t do right…lol…anyways…) Men and relationships have become my life’s work…which is why I am here sharing this information with you today. Each relationship is very nuanced but all have similar themes.

I am very much into tarot and astrology and all the things, but I do feel like there is a fad going around about this twin flame business. And as much as I enjoy a tarot reading popping up on my tiktok talking about my “twin”, I am always acutely aware that it can be a mislabeling and inspire people to put up with all kinds of crap for the sake of the label. If you’re going to be in a shxtty relationship, then be in a shxtty relationship, but don’t misuse the word. Twin Flame does not automatically translate to terrible, explosive, runner-chaser relationships and it does not excuse poor behavior. There is a difference between someone who is making mistakes because they are trying to learn and someone who is taking advantage of someone who won’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes, someone you like, just doesn't like you and your ego in tandem with your fear of rejection/abandonment is preventing you from actually growing and pursuing a relationship that would benefit and promote your soul’s growth. It’s almost like getting stuck on level one of a video game. Until you beat that internal need for validation from one specific person/soul…you’ll never get to play the next part of the game. Now…this isn’t me saying that soulmate/twin flame/karmic relationships don’t have their downsides, but I am saying, at least know the kind of energies you’re dealing with before you go putting pressure on a presumably less evolved/knowledgeable individual expecting them to “challenge your soul” and you haven’t even challenged yourself. This whole twin flame ordeal is like handing a toddler some markers and leaving them alone in a room full of white walls– it is bound to get messy. Soulmates are a BEAUTIFUL thing. And very rarely, I mean VERY rarely can a twin flame move into a more relaxed “soulmate” relationship. It is not impossible, but the amount of effort that is required to transcend, is unbelievable. BOTH PARTIES have to be spiritually mature and aware to do the work. This connection is NOT one sided…BOTH individuals are required to learn, grow and HEAL. Mind you, healing is the main reason for these kinds of relationships. There is no way to heal when your relationships keep pouring salt into an open wound. People can get caught up with and hang on to people for far too long because of a mislabeling. It is equivalent to a misdiagnosis from a medical doctor. Sure, you may have a cold, but if they misdiagnose you with a broken leg…are you receiving the right treatment? NO! And now you won’t heal properly! TO BE CLEAR…I believe in fate– so if you meet someone and you have an extraordinarily intense connection, you probably fit one or more of these rules and THAT IS why I am making this post. I want you to do the research for your own sanity so you can express FREE-WILL in whether you want to walk down that path or not with a certain individual– while also knowing the other person has free-will too. No label, or synastry, or overlay, or Chinese compatibility will change the fact that you may be fated to meet someone, but free-will may take you down different paths.

On another, equally important note…It is also possible to end up and stay with the wrong person. It is! You may look at a chart and follow some of these patterns and realize, you have NO BUSINESS with that individual. But people end up with the wrong people all the time. People have wasted LIFETIMES with someone they had no business with. But their ego decided they were a “soulmate” or a “twin flame” or they aren’t “healed”/spiritually awaken enough to realize they can do better…and low and behold…they were wrong and they wasted precious time. Now they’re miserable, can’t figure out why, and they end walking straight past a real soulmate in a supermarket…unable to even recognize them because they are so bogged down and clouded in their unhealed ego and a bad relationship that has cut them so far off from their own divinity, they can’t recognize love if it smacked them in the face. DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!

THERE ARE LEVELS TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!! Not every soulmate will be as intense as the next. Not every boyfriend/girlfriend will be as compatible as the last. Love is a game of musical chairs. There is movement, there is stillness, seats get taken away, and eventually, there is a winner. And babe, it will ALWAYS be you. You will always be the last one standing when it comes to relationships because you have free-will. (Let’s not forget the importance of the 1st House/7th House axis. You vs Relationships. It is as equally you as it is them.) You are bound by nothing. You are bound to no one. You are love. You are light. If you do the work, you may find a wonderful, loving, long-lasting relationship full of romance, but this is not guaranteed. You AND your partner have to choose each other every single day. The best relationships require discipline, work, forgiveness, “God”/some higher power, and love– no matter who you cross paths with in this life…you have to do this for yourself first and foremost. Alas, if you are too caught up in people who won’t meet you in the 3D, let alone the 5D…you will always fall flat of what you are looking for. The chair will always be ripped from under you when the music stops. Always. All of this is irrelevant if it doesn’t come from within. And this is why I want to express it one last time…NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME CONNECTION. You don’t understand how much you have to overcome rejection, overcome fear, overcome lust, desire, ego ALL the things, to open yourself up enough to join forces with another soul and try to tackle life together. Your ultimate lover is not your savior– they are your equal. You have to save yourself. You are not your ultimate lover’s savior. THEY have to save themselves. You ain’t super(wo)man and they aren’t either. Your partner has to be willing to do the same work…THAT’S what makes them a twin. It is not because they are treating you like shxt, babes…

Learn the lessons. Do the work. Love every bit of the journey…especially the crappy parts, because THAT’S what will make it all worth it in the end and you’ll enjoy the beautiful parts as much as the Greek Gods enjoy sweet nectar and ambrosia.

Why is this important to differentiate? Why now?

Now, one thing is for sure…and two things for certain, I am psychic and I have seen in my crystal ball that there is heavy energy of union in the atmosphere. I am hoping that whoever stumbles upon this post, is on the path of self-discovery which ultimately leads to liberation because not all union is good union. (I think covid brought in a lot of bad unions for example…but that is another topic for another day). The days are getting darker, and the evil forces are getting stronger (am I being dramatic enough for ya?) so it is important to know exactly what we are all up against. Only few are chosen to be in relationships that are led by light. There is so much overwhelming darkness now and I don’t want anyone that I am influencing to fall into the trap. There is potential for WONDERFUL, POWERFUL, SEXY, LOVING, LONG-LASTING & HIGHLY SPIRITUAL unions right now. But you may be tempted by something that seems beautiful and it is nothing of the sort. So please, do your research. Love with all your heart. Let spirit lead you! Let love find you, there is no need to seek it out! Take calculated risk! Open up your heart chakra! But ultimately, always be mindful of the wolves in sheep's clothing.

Ciao ✌🏾

[lxmelle]

Gojo was once described by Gege as a “man of resignation”.

It is a facet of enlightenment - in which the concept of “non-attachment” is a big part of (attachment is viewed as the root of suffering).

We can interpret “resignation” in so many ways, as it explains so much about his immense capacity for love / acceptance, but also his tendency to... simply resign himself to an outcome / fate I guess - a form of passivity that can be either considered positive or negative, perhaps depending on outcome.

Going with the flow, neither chasing nor halting anything in particular with his immense might and potential. He swayed things to gently influence an outcome. Followed a designated path trying to rebuild the sorcerer world through being a teacher... which he couldn’t fully commit too either, because he had a role as a special grade who had to keep working.

That’s not to say he didn’t achieve anything - because of course he did. But nothing revolutionary. He said so himself to Geto: he didn’t see a point in it. There were just some things he didn’t think would change - someone else would replace the higher-ups.

And thus. Despite his massive strength, he never did ever manage to go all out. Perhaps this is symbolic of an inherently gentle/accepting nature? But there was indeed a monster inside him too - the one that thrived on the thrill of killing and defeating. It was a beast he seldom let out. It was a beast with a thirst.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll paraphrase: like a sprinter limited to go at 8kmph, like a singer who is only allowed to whisper her song, a painter unable to use any paints for their desired masterpiece - how dreadfully, painfully unfulfilling.

So of course it was FUN to have this final brawl with Sukuna - to give it his very best, especially when he also didn’t feel lonely anymore with a bunch of monsters he can pass the gauntlet (his body and his will) onto in the worst case scenario.

But of course Gojo doesn’t have the ability to predict the future, so how can anyone expect that he make decisions and judgements perfectly or accurately? All he can do is consider based on his own judgement. Alone. As the only other person who help him plug those holes in his judgement, Geto, had left him.

It is up to interpretation whether Geto was left behind first, but this really isn’t a competition or about assigning blame… because where do we even start?

One cannot hold Gojo totally accountable for things that happen around him or how others interpret his actions. He was born different to everyone else. Probably treated as if he had this role to fill where people had an idea of what they wanted or needed him to be, but never gave much thought over what it would feel like for him.

Gojo, Shoko, and those left behind have had to suffer the same resignation. After all: What else are you supposed to do but resign yourself, in the face of a reality where even to things you don’t wish to happen, have to happen? All you can do is what you can... and if you can, you wield it with all your might.

Geto tried it to the best of his ability.

He wasn’t Gojo, who could do it if he wanted to.

Understanding that Gojo wasn’t, and accepting that he (Geto) shouldn’t change that about him (Gojo), as he was likely more suited to be at the school - essentially following nanami’s words and “leaving it to him” as Gojo was in his element / thrived on it, but Geto couldn’t be complicit in the system that would lead them to watch their own kind die one by one — Geto left to follow his ideals.

Gojo was referred to as the only one who can take that curse into his own hands. I used to see it as “the only one to kill Geto” after he failed and almost lost his humanity for the sake of power (killing Yuta would go against his principles) but now it also has a new meaning: the only one who can take charge and pursue the ideals to actually change the world.

The curse is the sh*t that is in the world of sorcery in jjk. Gojo seemed to (imho) now feel the need to catch up and hold the reins this time.

It is the end of Resignation Man Gojo Satoru. The emergence of The Monster Gojo Satoru (who Geto assisted in helping Gojo keep at bay through being the “model of humanity” that Gojo could follow) who was then fully ready to take the stand. Like Geto on that stage.

Bye higher ups.

Before, despite his immense strength, he didn’t force his way through. Perhaps this was the outcome of having been forced to be born and live with no choice but to be the six eyes + limitless. You do not actually have freedom.

Unless, you’re willing to become a pariah. To wield these cards that were dealt to you and completely become the extraordinary.

And now, Yuta embraces the same resigned acceptance of becoming a monster. After all... only a few will be able and willing to turn into a Monster.

Out of love. A Monstrous love indeed.

Geto had monstrous motherhood in him. I guess this extends to others now too. To cast away humanity because nobody else will. Nobody else can. So they have to wield it. Become it.

Yuta represents both the old and new world... in some way, he is like Gojo and Geto combined... power / strength + sincerity / kindness. Of course, like the yin and yang, each half has a bit of the other in it - so Gojo and Geto had a combination of power and compassion, but they symbolically represent each,

Arguably, had Geto someone else by his side, things may have been different.

All of this mess… ugh.

It didn’t have to come to this, right? Nor did it have to be the extermination of humans, but it could’ve been a collaboration of the special grades (Yuki, Gojo, Geto) all trying to solve the 3 different factors to the problem: humans as the origin of curses (research), the old-fashioned higher ups + clans, and the elimination of the curses. There may be others, but you get my gist.

But alas, this is the jjk world.

Just some thoughts, I’ll end it here before it’s more word vom.

[alicerosejensen]

Heyyyy hope you’re doing well!!

Please can you imagine Leon (re6) loosing his shit because they kidnapped his girlfriend and he’s like trying everything to get her back? Imagine him crying as soon as he gets to hug her again!😭

I'm fine as long as I have a laptop connected to the internet and food)

In fact, this is one of my favorite plot tropes, when someone is kidnapped, and the main character is ready to burn the whole world to the ground, but to find an expensive person.

Leon, despite his moral principles, I think he could have made many sacrifices. In particular, he would definitely lose his temper if he grabbed onto any thread to find his beloved. At least he didn't stand on ceremony with Patrizio.

Thus, there will be little left of the scoundrel who kidnapped his girlfriend.

Something constantly happens to the poor girl of Leon (either she runs away from him, or she is stolen from him). Sorry, I just love their relationship and Leon, who is ready to kill for his loved ones :D

I still know shit English, but enjoy it if you're interested.

Please read with extreme caution! There are mentions of physical violence, kidnapping and a maniac!Yandere

Leon is a little paranoid when it comes to protecting his loved ones, so most likely he will insert some tracking device into your phone or earrings to be sure that his beloved is safe.

He tries not to violate personal boundaries, but understands that his beloved is in potential danger in relation to him. Therefore, you are under additional invisible protection.

All you need to know is that Leon is not abusing his position as a federal agent. There is no surveillance on you, it's just that if something happens, he wants to have time to prevent it before the irreparable happens (or he goes on a binge again).

His heart sinks at the thought that he may lose you for some reason. Any encroachment into your personal space by outsiders who create discomfort for you make Leon enter the defender mode (aggressive if necessary). You should be safe.

Since Leon is known to a minimum of people about Leon's love interest, the risk is minimal that you will be harmed. At least Leon considered the threat from various corporations and bioterrorists. He didn't even think about the fact that there is some bastard stealing your things.

It was some little things: pencils, hair bands, a pocket mirror, lip gloss. Yes, you said something to him about it, but maybe you just dropped them out of your backpack?

He was calm exactly until you became too nervous. It seemed that you were afraid of something and called him a couple of times with a request to meet on the way home. Leon is not one of those who will refuse, but your behavior worries him.

And when you were walking home, Leon felt your painful grip on his arm.

His main priority is your well-being. "So tell me, pretty girl, what's going on with you?" Don't think I haven't noticed this nervousness.

He will be wary when he hears that someone is following you and dragging your things. Of course you could have lost them yourself, but the chiffon scarf that Leon gave you was the last straw. In addition, you showed him the abnormal love notes that someone constantly threw into your purse.

Outwardly, it did not affect him in any way, but the stingy "I'll deal with it" means a lot. The anxiety level has increased and Leon is worried that some kind of psycho might hurt you.

He often calls and asks if everything is in order and when you need to be picked up from college. However, when you don't answer the phone, everything dies inside him.

The moment he realizes that you have been taken away, a monster wakes up in him, which can bring down hell on your abductor.

His emotional state constantly fluctuates from constant fear for your lives bordering on panic to Ustanak whose task is to find you and finish off the son of a bitch who dared to take you away from him.

"No god will help this son of a bitch when I find him."

It's sad that you lost your phone on the day of the abduction and did not put on earrings. But a nice little bracelet will save you.

are a fucking goddess.

When you wake up, of course, you will be scared. However, you will try to intimidate the criminal by saying that he is so obsessed with you in vain. "Seriously, my boyfriend will come after me and gut you" You don't think Leon will kill anyone at all, so maybe your words don't sound too confident when the kidnapper's hand is stroking your head.

Do you panic when a fucking psycho says it's some kind of date? No one here hears your screams, you can't run away because you're handcuffed. You can't even go to the toilet on your own only under his control, and this causes you a deep psychological trauma. He brings you a fucking lilac, weaving thin twigs into your hair.

"Why me?" - This is the only question that is spinning in your head when you are hysterically pulling out purple flowers, throwing them away from you. - "Am I going to die here?"

You literally go crazy from the smell of dampness and lilac. Constantly shout Leon's name as if he can hear you and immediately breaking into a loud cry, banging on the walls and the locked door.

You're clearly getting claustrophobic.

While you're suffering, Leon is trying to track the fucking signal on one of your trinkets, but he's afraid that you left that day without any jewelry at all.

Claire is definitely one of those people who can talk some sense into Leon while he's looking for you. Considering that the bug gives a bad signal (or maybe your bracelet was damaged due to the fact that you constantly pull it from nerves) from the basement and your location is difficult to track, Leon has already yelled at Chris

You feel like a frog in formalin or even some kind of toy when your abductor brings you clean clothes, which you throw back to him. It's risky to make him angry like that and you really regret it when brute force is used to force you to change clothes.

Yes, then they "take care" of you, but you are already a cornered mouse. The purple marks on your skin and the marks from the handcuffs are now a reminder of who is in charge here.

And you hate that bastard more and more. Unfortunately, you have absolutely nothing to even hit him with. The food that he brings you in plastic dishes, as well as cutlery. You try not to eat, fearing that he might have mixed something in there, but you are forced by force.

It's been three days, and Leon hasn't found you. You feel like you're starting to go crazy until you hear a muffled noise from somewhere above.

All your belongings (including the bracelet) were seized and probably thrown away, leaving you in one long T-shirt, the smell that causes you to have a gag reflex. You literally have nothing on but this rag and underpants

All your belongings (including the bracelet) were seized and probably thrown away, leaving you in one long T-shirt, the smell that causes you to have a gag reflex. You literally have nothing on but this rag and underpants

Has anyone ever told you that you are not the luckiest person?

You tried to attack from behind when they stopped stroking you. It was risky and you failed because the kidnapper reacted before you swung to strike.

You were very painfully punished, left lying on the damp floor in a terrible state, all in tears and without an evening meal.

It's been four terrible days in your life. All because you fiddled with your bracelet too much, which turned out to be thrown away quite far from the place where you were, forcing Leon to go on a false trail.

You felt terrible. It didn't take long to break you. You no longer hoped to see daylight or your loved ones, so you crawled into the farthest corner curled up in a ball and cried.

Having lost track of time due to another fit of hysteria, you did not want to pay attention to the opening door and hurried steps in your direction.

Preferring not to pay attention to your enemy, you became even more hysterical when he tried to turn you around to face him, affectionately calling you "angel".

That's what infuriated you. But when you opened your eyes in another attempt to attack, you froze in disbelief at your own eyes. Have you already gone crazy in this place? So fast, or was Leon really in front of you?

His light blue eyes were dark. Not as bright as usual, but maybe it's because of the lighting… Strong hands carefully examined your body for the number of bruises.

You looked away in the direction of the open door - your freedom, but you felt Leon's fingers gently tracing over your split lips.

You've never seen such quiet hatred before. You were shivering from the cold, feeling that tears were still flowing down your cheeks, and tried to snuggle up to Leon in search of protection and warmth.

But Leon himself pressed you to him, slightly lifting up his T-shirt, checking for underwear. You flinched, and then you heard a single question when you grabbed his back with both hands, pressing your head against his chest.

"That son of a bitch…" - Leon gritted his teeth, still looking at your stolen things on the floor. - "I'll kill him"

The fuse clicked.

Leon took off his jacket, putting it on you (with great difficulty, because you did not want to interrupt close contact with him), and then easily picked up in his arms, like a small child, carrying out of this basement. You closed your eyes just to not see anything else. Leon's scent worked better than any strong sedative, and you wanted him not to let you go anymore.

So small. Defenseless. Bruised all over. He will kiss you on the temple, looking at the sprawled bastard with such a look that it will be clear how it will end. Leon will hand you over to Claire, despite your growing hysteria over the loss of hugs, and do what he has planned.

It's going to be pretty bloody. He expressed some regret about Patricio, but Leon will never forgive someone who hurt you, leaving a scar on your soul. So he'll empty the whole clip on him.

Because of this, he will have some problems, but you are the priority. You will undergo a full examination at the hospital, where Leon will be reassured (partially) that your violence ended with beatings. In general, there are no physical injuries, but both Leon and Claire understand what condition you will be in.

He will take care of you. Try to do everything so that you don't remember that four-day nightmare. He will find a good therapist, but if your brain decided to erase these memories on its own, a kind of protective reaction to stress, then it will even calm him down.

Leon understands the reason for your detached behavior. He is glad that you are not afraid to let him near you, thereby subconsciously making him your shield. he's ready to be one before you start trusting people again.

No one heard it, but Leon was really crying quietly when it was over. You were sleeping after taking a sedative dose, and he was sitting in the bathtub thinking only that he could not save you faster.

He won't touch you once again for fear of triggering some kind of trigger, but in your head it is Leon the hero savior. Therefore, if you are looking for protection in him, then it's even good, because this is how he hopes to redeem himself before you.

In the end, you are faced with dissociative amnesia. You realize that something terrible has happened, but you have a lapse in memory. Leon will be the one who will start distracting you from your memories by persuading you not to remember. He really considers it a gift of fate and will go out of his way so that you don't touch this moment of life at all, leaving him behind a black curtain.

And yet one day he burst into tears clutching to his chest. While you sleep next to him feeling completely safe, Leon will need to hug you tightly and come up with better ways to protect you. He feels guilty that he did not save you and this feeling of guilt will gnaw at him for a long time.

"I'm sorry… sweetheart, I'm so sorry… - what you hear in your sleep. - "Never again…no one will hurt you. Never."You don't remember a damn thing, but you're scared because Leon is crying kissing the top of your head.

He won't let anyone else take you away.

[miquellaluciscaelum]

Spoilers Elden ring DLC

Thoughts about Miquella's and Ranni's destinies.

I came across a video in Tiktok about how Ranni never had a good relationship with Golden twins because of Miquella's manipulativeness and his ability to enchant people. Well, first of all, this is stupid. We don't know what kind of relationship Ranni and Miquella had, but they definitely weren't full of hatred for each other, on the contrary, there are much more hints that they had some kind of connection, maybe even worked together on their goals.

But this is half of the trouble, in the comments people, as always proved that faith in humanity is absolutely in vain. The best you could hear there was, of course, that Miquella was just manipulating people and that he was the main villain of the story, which we were told from the beginning in the description of the branch. It went on to speculate, or even claim, that Miquella was definitely manipulating everyone around him, especially Malenia and Godwyn (unbelievably how brothers and sisters who for a long time only had each other in an unfriendly and dangerous world, where being different or deviating from the general line meant being an outcast, could sincerely love and understand each other? and of course no way Godwyn could love and cherish his brothers and sisters because he had once lost his younger brothers and did not want to lose these too).

But the funniest and scariest thing for me, actually the thing that pissed me completely off and made me write this post is that people are seriously so praising Ranni. In comments of the video, where they're condemning Miquella’s actions, they’re saying how cool Ranni is. Fuck, seems like nothing in these people’s heads works? I have nothing against Ranni, she is a character with a cool story, motivation, her quest is one of the most interesting in the game, and the ending is one of the most memorable and cinematic. But it’s so hypocritical. Ranni was literally the one who brought all shit into the fan, the Shattering was caused by her, she orchestrated the murder of a member of the royal family with a terrible weapon, the influence of which spread a literally deadly plague across the land, and blessed Tarnished to do whatever it took to help her, including killing one of her brothers.

The best thing to say is that Miquella and Ranni are worth each other when it comes to "the ends justifies the means". But I don’t see the point in saying which one is better or worse, who is kinder or nobler, who has pursued what goals. For me personally, the whole point of Ranni and Miquella is how their stories ended. Because when Ranni succeeded, Miquella lost, but why? They both did some very shady shit, manipulated, killed, etc. but Ranni got what she wanted while Miquella didn’t. I personally think it’s selfishness. There’s a healthy ego and ambition in Ranni. There’s ambition in Miquella too, after all, he is empyrean but the huge difference is that Ranni has all of her ambitions focused on herself. She sacrifices herself, yes, she literally kills her own body, but that’s the sacrifice she was willing to make, just as much as she was willing to give to get rid of the influence of the Great will. Her soul, her heart, her will, her faith and her principles, they all remain the same from beginning to end, she does not sacrifice her personality, she does not change course, even when faced with difficulties or losses in her way. Because she’s doing it for herself first. Ranni does not aim to save the world or make it a better place, or to help all the poor and sick. Her motivation may be the desire of power, revenge for the fate of her mother, hatred for the Golden order - all that you want and all those reasons are deeply selfish.

Miquella doesn’t want to change the world for himself. He thinks about his sister, about his brother, about the people he’s taken under his protection. He wants to create a better world for them. And this is the point. He’s very altruistic and sacrificial. When it comes to sacrificing himself for the greater good, he does it without a hesitation, but if Ranni gives only what she is allowing to give, Miquella gives everything. And it is a mistake, his biggest mistake. He was thinking about everyone else except himself. Pushed himself too far and eventually lost himself completely. He threw away everything that had made him him, on his way to the top and there was nothing left in the end. No heart, no soul, no love, no kindness. How can you create a kind world if there’s nothing kind left in you?

That’s the key point, because he’s changing the world with his kindness and compassion because he’s capable of it. But when he dropped it, it just didn’t make any sense. I think at the end he was nothing more than an empty shell of a man who had only a phantom target on the horizon, he doesn’t remember what he was doing all this for or nobody who he left behind. He chose the path of absolute self-sabotage and this could not have been successful in any way under the circumstances. If Miquella had become a god, he would have simply become new Marika and continued the cycle. By abandoning himself, Miquella became part of this vicious circle and cruel world. His kindness and compassion were very things that made him special and gave him the power to change the world around him.

I think that’s why Saint Trina asks us to kill Miquella. Free him from the cage of divinity and grant him forgiveness. To me, it looks as if Miquella himself asked us to kill him (she is literally a being born out of his discarded parts), because somewhere deep inside, when he had not gone too far, he understood the wrongness of the way, that was chosen, he wanted forgiveness for all that was done, but he had no way back, nothing to go back to.

In the end:

Ranni, being selfish and purposeful, succeeds and breaks the vicious circle, takes away the Golden order and leaves the world that she does not care much about to recover on its own.

Miquella, being altruistic and compassionate, tries to change the world and the cruel system, but completely loses himself and his goal along the way, becomes part of a vicious cycle of senseless cruelty and dies.

Could he have succeeded? Yes, I believe that. He could have succeeded, but not as a god. At least not as someone who would have taken Marika’s place. In fact, the divinity through the Elden ring and the Divine gate are no different, Marika was on both ends and we all know what have happened to her. I believe that Miquella could have achieved so much more without being a god, without becoming a part of this vicious circle. He had already achieved more than anyone could have imagined with his tree, with the Unalloyed gold, against the Outer gods, and he was not god all this time. If he had found a way to break his curse, if he had been able to do it as he had planned through  Haligtree, history would have gone a whole different way.

To me, he was not and will not be the villain of this story. He’s just another victim, from a long list of suffered the cruelty and injustice of the Elden Ring world.

[codenamesazanka]

rant. this was a vent in response to the final chapter, but the anime reaching the heteromorph riot arc got me all whiny again. embarrassingly personal.

On "Peaceful Resolutions" + general heteromorph riot arc stuff

When I was in elementary school - I forget what age - there was a snow day. Children love snow days. Me, my younger sibling, and my grandmother went outside to play. We wanted to use the neighborhood hill to sled. Unfortunately, it was already being used by some older kids. Middle schoolers only a few years older than me?

They didn't want to share the hill. So they pushed and shoved us. They threw snowballs at us. When I cried for them to stop, they laughed. When my grandmother, who didn't know English, who spoke only Chinese, yelled at them to stop, they laughed, and mocked her. "Ching chong ching chong." After that, no matter what me or my sibling said in English, they pretended not to understand and just kept chanting slurs. There is nothing more frustrating than screaming out your pain that you know people can hear and understand, and having it fall on deaf ears; more than that, your pain is enjoyment for them.

Was this discriminatory incident resolved peacefully? Well, me, my sibling, and my grandmother cut our snow day short and went home. Our retreat was 'peaceful', but I guess the incident wasn't exactly resolved.

Would attacking them back helped? No, of course not. (And not that we could. We were two elementary kids and an elderly woman. Understand that bullies nearly always purposefully target those weaker than them, ones who can't fight back without negative consequences.) Indeed, things would've just escalated. But we didn't want to retaliate. We didn't want revenge. We just wanted them to stop.

Did we do anything about it? No, it was just some kids being mean. A very minor thing (even as the incident, only one among others, continues to destroy our perception that this neighborhood was ever safe for us, truly our home. But my town had an active neo-nazi gang that liked to vandalize houses and slip posters into newspapers, so it was never going to be safe.) We didn't know our neighbors well because of language barriers, because we stood out as a Chinese family in a largely white neighborhood and people didn't talk to us much either. We wouldn't know how to alert the parents of these kids. And we thought, even if we did complain - a non-violent method of action - they might just find us annoying. They might hate us more. What if the language barrier leads to more confusion and conflict? We didn't want to risk it. We kept our heads down and let the incident go. My family became more reluctant to go out, to let me and my sibling outside to play. We maintained the peace.

Understand that it doesn't really matter what an discriminated minority does to resist discrimination - the perpetrator can find any act of resistance inappropriate. That is their prerogative by being in the position of power.

Shoji saved a girl, gave the community peace by preventing them from having to grieve her death. His village then bashed his face with a hoe for daring to resist and break the norms of the village, for daring to touch the girl to save her life.

A third party, of course, can come and resolve the incident by de-escalating everything. But for my incident, it was not me that this third party needed to stop. We did not engage in violence. It was the older kids. And had I retaliated - idk how, as a child; tackle them? - to protect my grandmother, my younger sibling - that would be self defense, likely because I wanted the bullying to stop and had to resort to violence when nothing else worked; because I feared the violence they were about to do to us more than my fear and reluctance to engage in violence in the first place. Maybe self-defense is too strong a word here for schoolyard bullying, but the principle is the same.

(It wasn't just schoolyard bullying, obviously. There were other incidents, from when I was younger, when I'm much older. This incident is one that I feel is less revealing/personal/vulnerable to tell.)

There was no peace in that incident that wasn't broken by the perpetrator to begin with. Not that the peace was peaceful for us in the first place. Bringing about true peace is solely on stopping the perpetrator, and ultimately on dealing with the root cause.

“Discriminatory incident” is so vague. An incident can be anything. “Peaceful Resolution” implies responsibility on all parties. What we're told isn't 'Shoji stops the bigots nonviolently'. (Also: The bigots are afforded this. Villains must be put down with violence, but not the people throwing rocks and spraying pesticides on children. I'm of course of the opinion that violence shouldn't be used to stop bigots or Villains except as a last resort, but the manga has demonstrated that no Hero ever stopped a bigot using the same methods they use on Villains. Why is that?) It isn't 'Shoji saves victims of hate crimes'. Judging by Shoji's own statements and how the heteromorph arc plays out, a peaceful resolution is stopping both the heteromorph victim (who may or may not be lashing out - in response to the hate crime) and perpetrator - If anything, more stopping the heteromorphs.

I’m going to suggest that rarely, heteromorphs ever actually retaliate with violence. True, the heteromorphs we see (Shoji, ordinary lady, Koda's mom) aren't part of the rioters but are we to believe all these rioters are people who react with violence every time, and it's their first solution? When they stopped the damn riot themselves because they didn't want to hurt the healthcare workers? (and even the riot wasn’t purposeless, indiscriminate violence - they were solely there to retrieve Kurogiri). Pig Nose guy says he's been beaten up for no reason, so he's already at the receiving end of violence that justifies self-defense, but we can assume he didn't actually lash out any of those times because he's the one who stops everyone, feeling so bad about just the idea of hurting someone.

I can’t say that’s 100% canon that none of the heteromorphs ever lashed out (and of course ‘statistically’ some of them must have), but overall, for most of them, it’s a legitimate assumption to be made. The heteromorphs from the Jeda or 6/6 incidents were fully massacred. Shoji and Spinner were children - Shoji was on the ground, getting bashed in the face with a farming hoe wielded by an adult. Spinner got sprayed with pesticides for walking outside and became a hikikomori, saying that he accepted being a ‘lizard freak’, he was ready to give up. (And he only took action when the extraordinary moment of Stain getting on TV made him realized he hated this suffocating world where Heroes failed him, never protected him.) Ordinary Lady never lashed back out at her attackers. Koda’s mom had to be protected by Koda’s dad.

Even the PLF agitator - his wound is a long deep scar on his head - a head injury that would’ve thoroughly incapacitated him, if not kill him. It is likely not the wound of someone hitting back with self-defense as if the PLF agitator was the one attacking someone and they were fighting back for their life.

These are the ‘Discriminatory Incidents’. What does a peaceful resolution look like, here?

The heteromorphs at the hospital aren’t there to get revenge. They’re there because they’ve been pushed into a corner and probably have become afraid for their lives, their future. During a national crisis where Heroes order civilians to go into hero-guarded shelters, these shelters had the audacity to refuse heteromorphs, leaving them out on the streets, vulnerable to the dangers of jailbreakers and lack of resources.

The peace was broken first by discrimination. The heteromorphs probably took Spinner’s call to action as a life preserver. Heroes had refused to protect them during the collapse of the state; and so they likely found truth in Spinner’s word that if Heroes win the day, nothing will change. They weren’t there to hurt anyone at the hospital - they were there to take back Kurogiri.

But Shoji framed the whole thing as revenge, as being avengers. He accused the heteromorphs of being violent and non-peaceful, without ever naming the first act of violence on the part of the non-heteromorphs. He didn’t want to risk the heteromorphs’ hard-won reputation and status (“You’ll set us back 30 years.* They’ll target your children.”) He wanted the heteromorphs to do what my family did - kept our heads down and let the incident go. Maintained the peace.

Shoji said that those who hurt the heteromorphs weren’t justified, but he then says “there has to be a better way”. We never find out what this was, beyond the vague ‘Shine bright’.

(I shined bright, too. I was a straight-A student. I did extracurriculars - piano, viola, art, softball. As did my sibling. My family were hard-working citizens. My mom worked two jobs. I hate telling these details, because they don't matter. My worth as someone who doesn’t deserve to face discrimination does not and should not depend on my grades or trained skills, how pleasant or cool I seem to someone. None of that matters to the people who wanted to hurt us because they simply saw being visibly Asian American as the offense.)

We don’t find out how Shoji’s better way works in the final chapter either. Just that he resolved the incidents ‘peacefully’. Because he wanted to solve discrimination peacefully. As do everyone, oppressors and the oppressed. But ‘peace’ often means something different to oppressors, and something different to the oppressed.

(Did Shoji resolve the heteromorph riot peacefully? Not really. He shouted a lot to the crowd, but he also fought Spinner (ah, you might say - well, Spinner was using violence! Shoji has to react to that with punching as well! Yeah. That's what I mean.) Koda had birds shoved someone off a building.)

Shoji’s better ways - I will assume it’s stopping the blood cleansings. That is a noble goal. It is a necessary and vital goal. And so, how? How does he cover the large areas of rural land, so that he’s there to stop these hate crimes? How does he know when something will happen? Is it a campaign and community-level action? Uraraka’s tackling of Quirk Counseling is a ‘project’, widespread and implemented on a macro level. Shoji’s efforts are on what’s implied to be individual incidents. But putting that aside for now, I will assume “resolving” is talking down the perpetrator. I will assume it’s protecting the victim while negotiating with the person holding the weapon.

Peaceful implies that he does so without violence (as he should! As a Hero Law Enforcement of the State!); but a blanket label of ‘peaceful’ also implies stopping the other party (the victim) asking them to stand down as well.

I just think - during my Discriminatory Incidents, how can anyone have me stand down, have stopped me, when I haven't done anything in the first place? And if I did have to be stopped from engaging in self-defense, that's not a resolution. That's a save. That's someone saving me from the violence, saving me from having to resort to violence.

Heroes save people. There's no question of 'peacefully' when they fight villains to save people. There’s no framing of ‘peacefully’ when they do so. But it seems heteromorphs are not allowed the same language of ‘peacefully’ and 'save'.

-

tl;dr. idk. the heteromorph mini-arc’s writing and message is awful.

-

*re: “set us back 30 years.” I know we don’t know exactly what happened 30 years ago, but we can guess - and so I don’t think guessing one of the named massacres is too wild. From my own experiences, the murder of Vincent Chin was about 40 years ago. I grew up with Vincent Chin as a horror story.

Being told that, due to whatever actions I was doing, would set back all that progress Asian Americans made since then is just cruel and wrong and illogical in all ways. Vincent Chin didn’t deserve to be murdered whatever he did 40 years ago, and he deserved to have his murderers be brought to real justice. The sheer injustice of that case is objective. There is no way someone can tell me that I’m setting time back to when the murder of Vincent Chin happened, that I would be causing injustice like that again, I’m responsible for any more murders that happen, and have that be in any way true.

Related— On Bnha's apparent ideal of "a hero is someone who is willing to suffer in silence" and "we'll get it right next generation!"

From Asian American Dreams, by Helen Zia:

The reaction within the Detroit area’s small, scattered Asian American population was immediate and visceral. Suddenly people who had endured a lifetime of degrading treatment were wondering if their capacity to suffer in silence might no longer be a virtue, when even in death, after such a brutal, uncontested killing, they could be so disrespected.

[...]

Vincent was part of an entire generation for whom the immigrant parents had suffered and sacrificed. Other Asian Americans also found a strong connection to the lives of Vincent, Lily, and David Chin. Theirs was the classic immigrant story of survival: work hard and sacrifice for the family, keep a low profile, don’t complain, and, perhaps in the next generation, attain the American dream. For Asian Americans, along with the dream came the hope of one day gaining acceptance in America. The injustice surrounding Vincent’s slaying shattered the dream.

[immortalthunderstorm]

Criston Cole and Fandom Perception

There seems to be this idea that Criston's character and motivation solely revolves around Rhaenyra, which seems to be a fandom-wide belief. I won't deny that she plays a part on his development, but even that is more about who he is than what she means to him.

I'll provide my personal interpretation.

The overarching theme for Criston, something that was deeply explored by Jaime as well (who in the books refers to Criston as a man of duality), is that the idea of knightly valour in theory is rarely applicable in practice. A knight in theory is meant to be honour-bound, fearless, principled and chivalrous, obey each of their vows. Their name and the Ser they have earned is a badge of prowess and honour.

Especially the Kingsguard, having sworn off all "earthly" pleasures in order to serve their monarch for life, have a deep sense of focus on this as their duty is a singular one, while also having sworn their knightly vows before their Kingsguard ones. The Kingsguard is seen as this incorruptible, elite force of the very best of knights, a high office to have and the dream of even many of the highborn knights. The societal regard for this office is also very high.

Criston is not highborn. He's the son of a steward, Dornish, and unlike many highborn sons who are trained and fostered to rise the ranks and bring glory to their already established name at tourneys, he had to get there the hard way. The show makes this explicitly clear in the scene where Otto suggests choosing a knight with a good name to the Kingsguard, and Rhaenyra chooses Criston for his real experience (points can be made that she's also attracted to him, or impressed by his tourney feats, but she is not in the wrong here. Most knights at this time have never seen real battle, as Rhaenys says to Corlys)

His vows represent everything he has accomplished for himself "all that [he] has to [his] name" - his entire self worth.

Criston's speech on the boat is not about him being in love with Rhaenyra. He explicitly says he thinks it's the only way to wash the stain off his honour and name. He's desperate and of course it's a bad plan, but it's the only way out he sees with the prospect of death and torture now looming over his head in ever waking hour (see Ser Lucamore the Lusty). That's why he's so jumpy the whole episode and the next. He's paranoid about being exposed, and that's why he's so angry that Rhaenyra simply wants him to be her "whore". She's not in love with him either, it's all just about sex for her while it's a life or death situation for him. That's why he breaks down to Alicent so quickly and almost unprovoked, and confesses and asks for a swift death.

"I took an oath. As a knight of your Kingsguard. An oath of chastity. I've broken it. I've soiled my white cloak. And it's the only thing I have to my fսcking name! I thought if we were married, I might be able to restore it."

His devotion for Alicent also isn't primarily motivated by his dislike for Rhaenyra. To him, she's his second chance to live up to his ideals. She's his "Lady of Honour", the person he sees as the perfect example of a dutiful woman (as fostered by the society they live in) . Her he can chain his own sense of honour to, safely devote himself to without conflicting feelings, and be his idealistic version of what a white knight should be.

I'm not saying his behaviour is logical, knightly hypocrisy is one of the central themes across GRRM's work, but it's a lot more complex than what a lot of people make it out to be (everything is about Rhaenyra)

I'm also tired of this situation being simplified to "he's just an angry Incel" by this fandom. It's much deeper than that and I don't get the absolute demonisation of Criston who's a very complex character.

People just love to look for some ulterior reasons to justify their hatred for a him. It's absolutely fine to dislike Criston if they want, but applying these pseudo-psychological frameworks to him is getting old very quickly.

He is not an incel, he pretty much tells Rhaenyra he's been with at least a couple women before joining the Kingsguard, and it's not like he's angry at her because she doesn't want to sleep with him, on the contrary she pretty much offers him to be his 'paramour' and he gets upset because he doesn't want to be used for sex at the risk of his life. The whole point is his extreme sense of honour and paranoia of breaking his vows.

Similarly the Madonna-Whore complex doesn't check out because this only applies to his dislike for Rhaenyra, not sexually active women in general. Criston hates one (1) woman and that's more for personal reasons than religious extremism - he's very respectful and polite to the prostitute in ep 9, does not treat her as someone lesser or sullied or sinful despite being religious. He pretty much says to Aemond that all women should be treated with respect.

This man insults one woman (who he has personal beef with) once, and immediately apologises for it, yet the fandom seems hellbent on him being some raging misogynistic incel.

(If we want to start throwing stones, Daemon calls people bitches, whores and cunts in almost every episode lol.)

[boredintjqueen]

I'm tired of people saying we only ship Loki with Mobius because the female characters weren't well-written or because we don't like the female characters. I personally liked them very much, and we had a whole range of them.

I liked that Sylvie's character has always been independent of Loki. She resents the TVA for destroying her childhood and forcing her to live in apocalypses so of course she would want to be selfish and live a normal, boring life, and forget all about her past and anyone who reminds her of it. It's human to be selfish and Lokis are very human. She's not evil, her character arc just isn't complete.

I liked watching B-15 be the rock of the TVA, trusting her principles when nobody else knew what to believe anymore. She kept things moving forward rather than dwelling on what she lost. She was stoic and strong, the voice of rationality everyone needed.

Even Ravonna was an interesting character. When Ravonna found out that Kang went and reaped the rewards of all her hard work while keeping her as a brainwashed minion, she was angry and wanted to take back what was hers.

I also liked Judge Gamble and General Dox, even though they had very small roles. Judge Gamble finally has the freedom to trust her own judgement and impart her wisdom in season 2 and she comes to realise that she's a good person. Dox was not ready for things to change, she didn't want to believe her whole life was a lie, so she wanted to prune the timelines.

What I'm saying is, I've seen emotionally complex female characters before, but it was so nice to get such a variety of them in Loki. To see how very different women deal with the changes that took place in season 1 was interesting.

The female characters were all complex and independent of male characters in their decision-making.

I ship Loki with Mobius simply because it works. They balance each other out, they make each other better, and see the best in each other. They're in love whether you choose to see it as romantic or platonic.

[whetstonefires]

Do you have any opinions on Scholomance?

I do! I like it a lot. I really enjoyed all three books, blitzed through them easily and was much more excited to see how the plots unfolded than I'm used to these days, as a jaded adult, and I also really appreciated them as works of craft.

Especially the first one, I spent the whole time being all 'wow!' at how simple it was. So easy to read, but no waste. You really need to know what you're doing, to get that kind of pared-down elegance of form to work and still fit so much content in.

Like these are dense, there's a fantastic stylistic minimalism that allows El's character all the space it needs to breathe by making absolutely every other thing and person in the whole novel also do character work for her, which is exactly where the first person voice shines.

Also great use of character perspective to make the pacing feel really natural, so the fact that the first book takes three weeks, the second book takes one year, and the third book is like. Five or so incredibly stressful days spread out over the course of a few weeks? Doesn't feel imbalanced.

I actually got distracted from the story a few times by noticing the strength of Novik's technique. 😂 This is a me problem, in itself it's the opposite of distracting. Very low-profile.

I think the Scholomance is a great example of how far you can go in specfic when you aren't cringing from the label 'derivative,' because the Scholomance books feel very fresh ad clean specifically because nothing in them is concerned with standing out as 'original,' whatever that's supposed to mean, only with being well-executed and suitable to its task.

Hm, maybe that's where Liesel was born, the intersection of the efficient narrative style and the vast proportion of the story that concerns the maximization of utility and the instrumentalization of persons by themselves and others, and the forces that incentivize these behaviors. Or maybe she's just the narrative counterweight to Orion 'Head Empty' Lake lmao. How's that for a principle of balance, Galadriel?

I really did enjoy how beautifully it was laid out, over and over, in dozens of shades of humanity, how no matter where you go in an exploitative system almost everyone is being driven by the same survival instincts.

Because I don't think I've ever seen made so cleanly clear why you just can't expect any person or small group of people, no matter their level of goodwill or status, to unmake one of these systems from the inside; how it's not a matter of people being bad but of every single person being very...small.

And then not retreating into the idea of a person who is Big coming and breaking the cruel system from the outside as some kind of panacea, because 1) that is terrible, even if it's necessary and done in the best way possible and 2) that's not a sustainable answer to anything. Getting a balance between the protagonist being able to effect change and not subscribing to the great man theory of history can be really tricky!

Also did I mention, I love El, and I love most of the cast, even the dreadful ones. How am I going around with this many feelings about Li Shanfeng who doesn't appear until the actual climax?

The romance murdered me a bit, but it took up no more space than it absolutely needed to do its job, and I respect that. Also I appreciated Orion as a love interest; Novik has a slight record at this point of a version of that style of male love interest who's like a caricature of Mr. Darcy but old, which was shaping up to be my least favorite thing about her body of work.

...Orion is kind of like if you took the human king from Spinning Silver and gave him an alignment flip come to think of it, so he's not coming out of nowhere. Lmao.

Which reminds me (re: romance character typing) I've heard Novik didn't want it to be known she was astolat, which this series has renewed my sympathies if so. Because if I were a published novelist I wouldn't want people going 'you know, that resolution was really emotionally satisfying! reminds me of that fic she wrote where optimus prime and megatron get stuck in a hole underground and hatefuck about it.'

I don't even like Transformers. That fic almost made me cry. Actually I suspect it reads better if you don't like Transformers because I'm sure it does not give a shit about canon.

Anyway, whoever pointed out that one of the things El has going on is she's Enoby (and we're going to sit down and explore what the true reason to put your middle finger up at preps is, and what are some constructive ways to channel that socioeconomic wrath, and what it means that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism) was right and I'm not entirely over that either.

Fucking love El's mom as a character. Spectacular level of parent relevance and usefulness. A+.

Aadhya and Liu are also characters who fucking delivered.

Re: minimalism though, I laughed at the start of The Golden Enclaves when I realized that none of the enclaver characters who'd gotten development in the the first two books were from London, the enclave El was theoretically shooting for when we met her.

[ajaxwfe]

One glance, eternal mistake.

Zhongli x God!Reader

Angst with no comfort, regret, mention of death, character dying, blaming someone innocent.

"maybe it would have been better if we have never met y/n."

Summary: Y/n falling in love with the god of contract, who knew it would turn out this way.

_____________________________________________

Stars of the teyvat... Yes, the fake sky and the stars. Y/n was indeed a magical creature type of god. Y/h color with a fading midnight blue to blend in with the sky, her eyes glowing like the stars that rises of up in the middle of the night. Watching all over teyvat, reporting back to the heavenly principles.

Y/n was no strong or weak god, all she could do is control over stars and look over the world. Until she fell from sky when khaenri'ah's fall started. Watching archon's destroying the innocent khaenri'ah people turning into a monster. She can't interfere, it would be illegal to the laws of teyvat and would get punishment from the upper gods.

She wake up at the mountains of liyue, Morax's territory.

Traveling around the liyue and bumping to morax accidentally, of course from her appearance morax would know she was not a ordinary mortal.

"you are not from here are you?" A cold masculine voice sent shivers down her spine. From his gaze and his stand she knew she was not a match for him.

"I came from the stars, the sky, god of contract. I watch all over the teyvat." She tried to look at him like he looked at her, trying to scare him. Well that was a dumb mistake that lent her to embarrassment.

"I see mind exchanging names, heavenly god." Who was y/n to decline that offer. Time by time they got to know each other, they made lots of friends and had fun hanging out.

All teyvat knows a heavenly god shouldn't be falling in love with someone on teyvat. Principles knows why that stupid law was there, y/n can't put up with her feeling that called 'love'. İt made her like a person who is too drunk, can't find a way to stop her day dreaming about morax. She can't keep running away from him.

She loved him so much it was hurting. Everytime she see how he looked at guizhong with those eyes, it hurt. Everytime he hold her hand it hurt. Jealousy was filled in her head but who was she to do something bad to guizhong.

The day came and y/n was ready to confess her feelings, walking to the Qingyun Peak with a foolish smile on her face.

"I'm sorry y/n but my feelings belong to guizhong." Yes, a foolish smile on her face. Which place you look you can see her face slowly turning to a sad expression. Tear in her eyes as she lowered her head accepting the truth.

They returned back to liyue harbor in silent, not saying and words to each other like they used to. Sharing a few glances but looking away quickly trying not to disturb each others presence. Or that's what morax thought, how could she be disturbed by him being next to her. That's what she needed after all.

Only after a few days, everything fell apart. Everyone turning their backs on you, you never knew why until the guizhongs death rumors came to her ears. Quickly searching for morax only to be met by his angry face towards her.

"Why are you looking at me like that morax?" That's right she doesn't know why, why did everyone suddenly turned their back on her, why did guizhong die, why morax was looking at her like he was disgusted?

"Are you really going to act like you don't know? İs that it y/n? Were you so jealous that you had to kill her?" No...no she really didn't understand what was going on.

"What are you talking about morax, I didn't do such a thing!"

"Watching over teyvat? What an absurd thing for a god. Watching over teyvat so you could spot guizhong and kill her?" Morax scoffed at the first part of his sentence, making you tear up.

"İt's not an absurd thing! İf it weren't me this world would have been nothing but a chess piece for heavenly principles! I don't use my power to kill someone morax." She ended her sentence.

"Really? So why the liyue's people are telling that they witnessed you killing guizhong?! Maybe it would have been better if we have never met y/n." The ground started to rumble as he shouted.

"I didn't do it, I am telling you! I would have already be killed by principles if I did that to a minor god!" She shouted back.

Back and forth arguing for 20 minutes led them nothing but a prison inside the cave for y/n. She did nothing wrong, it wasn't her. No creature would look exactly like her.

Days after days, weeks after week and a month. She was stuck inside that cave that morax threw her in. The rumors started to vanish like a wind. Y/n already gave up there were no stars inside the cave and she couldn't watch over teyvat. She knew she was going to be executed. Heavenly principles already planned her execution.

The false rumor reached to everyone's ear in Liyue, it wasn't y/n who killed but her another creature sent by upper gods. God of contract, morax was devastated hearing the news. He was walking to the cave where you were in really fast almost sprinting.

Only to be met by you who was already got killed, a spear pierced through your chest as you looked at him smiling for the last time. Throwing himself on to her, catching her before she fall to the ground, Holding you.

"I lied y/n, my heart and my body only belongs to you, my feelings too. I was a coward y/n, I couldn't say it that they but I really thought it was you who killed her, I was wrong. I was wrong for the first time and I am letting you die like this." He confessed.

"İt was probably principles order morax don't blame yourself" y/n said through her coughes.

"how can I not? I shouldn't have done this in first place at all. I should have trusted you, I love you so much but I couldn't trust y/n. Don't forgive someone like me."

"Morax..." Her breathing got slower.

"No...no don't- just don't die on me like this! We still have lots to do y/n, once we get back to Liyue we can spend our times together! So...please.." his voice broke at the end begging to her stay more. She caressed his cheek wiping his tears away.

"Morax, I'm getting sleepy..." Her hand fall to the ground closing her eyes and breathing his scent in for the last time.

"I understand, please sleep well my love. Dream about being on the sky and flying around the stars again my dear..." He carried her body to a high mountain that had great views at night.

He sat next to her grave watching the stars that no longer shine as bright as before. The feeling of guilt pressing down on his heart, crying like a toddler. He looked up the sky once again as he saw a shooting star.

"you must be flying freely now, you look happy."

[lemonhemlock]

what are your thoughts on the madonna-whore complex allegations constantly lobbed at criston from rhaenicent and rhaenyra stans alike. because i dont see it at all. also a lot of them don't even seem to be using the madonna-whore complex correctly. it's supposed to be in regard to men in relationships with woman that lose sexual arousal for these women when they see them in more domestic, motherly, etc. light. the fandom is so collectively off base about this lmao.

yeah, i feel like criston's stuff is a bit more complicated, even just based on the information given in S1. in a way, you can say he grows to be attracted to the mother figure and repulsed by the whore figure, but he wasn't always like that. he himself said he had dalliances with girls before joining the kingsguard and he is very much attracted to the outgoing, spunky maiden rhaenyra, but there is also this tension with the quiet, introverted young alicent in his confession scene!

i'm not sure exactly how to word this, but criston strikes me as the type of man who is malleable, who doesn't have much in the way of plans or objectives. he lived a pretty aimless life before he is introduced on screen and joined the kingsguard as it was a prestigious institution which offered him structure and something to strive for. so, in a way, he replaced his haphazard youth with knightly ideals and gallantry. but, even this purposelessness - i wouldn't hold it above his head as a fault either. westerosi society just doesn't have the space for someone like him - the son of minor nobility, who probably doesn't have much in the way of inheritance. he can't exactly go out and "get a job" (the sources of wealth creation aren't very diversified) without it being considered a huge stepdown and humiliation and bringing shame on his family (the social stratification really might seem very alien to someone living in 2024). so, of course that in a society that values martial prowess (something he happens to be good at), he would be attracted to activities in the militaristic sphere.

and i don't mean to say that he is just amoral and doesn't have any principles either, i'm sure he would LIKE to be this perfect knight that embodies self-sacrifice and courage and selflessness, but, like many other westerosi institutions, the kingsguard is an oppressive one. it's NOT normal to impose abstinence on someone, it's NOT normal to not allow them to retire and make them live this frugal, unattached life, just trailing after royalty all day, standing for hours on end in rooms and hallways. so, of course, criston finds it difficult (i'm guessing a lot of the kingsguard members had similar feelings) and of course he "strays" (that's one way of putting it, bc we all remember the discussions on the non-consensual nature of that scene).

criston's existential crisis is very real and raw and a by-product of the westerosi feudal system - what IS a man like him supposed to do with his life? he thought he had found purpose in the kingsguard, but he found himself in a situation where he broke his vows, so he tries to reason that maybe his new purpose can be rhaenyra - his love for her, running away with her, marrying her, taking care of her etc. so it very much doesn't matter for him that she herself gave away her chastity before marriage (and could be thus labelled a "whore" by their society's standards). but when rhaenyra refuses him - it's like that quote from dostoevsky - “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”

so, where i'm going with this is that criston has personal beef with rhaenyra. she behaved towards him in a careless way and discarded him without a second thought, whereas for him their affair was a huge, all-consuming thing. now, had rhaenyra went on and lived an exemplary life as a married woman, with no bastard children, he still probably would have hated her for what she did, but, i'm not sure, just based off S1 information, that he would still call her names

to go back to the madonna-whore axis, like you said, men who have that complex tend to view the "whore" as someone sexually appealing - whereas i think criston's disillusionment with rhaenyra has surpassed any attraction he had for her in the past. meanwhile, despite being a "mother" figure, alicent's life of quiet servitude has made her very attractive in his eyes. but! who is to say that rhaenyra couldn't have been more diplomatic and empathetic with him in handling their affair? had she put a bit more effort in, manipulated him into being her secret lover instead of harwin strong? sure, he could have refused, but had she played the woe-is-me card, the i-have-to-sacrifice-my-happiness-for-the-good-of-the-realm and convinced him that she wasn't going along with his oranges plan because she, too, had higher ideals she had to serve, i don't think he would have seen her in this unfavourable light (what if rhaenyra were a different person entirely LOL)

so, basically, what i mean to say is that, ultimately, rhaenyra treated criston in a nasty way and now he hates her, whereas alicent treated him with kindness and now he worships the ground she walks on. but what if the roles were reversed? what if alicent had been unpleasant to him and rhaenyra the compassionate one? would criston still be crowning king aegon? is this truly about a madonna-whore complex or about personal relationships, how you behave towards people and how those past grievances interact when it comes to securing someone's loyalty? everyone is more inclined to be indulgent towards their friends and to keep their side, even if they might not always be in the right. it's easier to go to bat for someone you like than for someone you don't! people can always rationalise their principles away in such situations and develop double-standards

[anghraine]

I think I've talked about it before, but there's a pretty beloved book!Darcy line that's ... maybe not objectively misread, but often read in a very different way than I interpret it:

"But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you."

I've seen this interpreted as a romantic concession that Darcy's love for Elizabeth and concern for her were his true motives for intervening with Lydia. Less often, I've also seen it read much more uncharitably as an indictment of his principles—he only cares about this whole thing at all because Elizabeth does and he cares about her, so it's ultimately selfish.

And those readings (which are ultimately related) do make a certain amount of sense if you analyze the quote by itself. He outright says he was only thinking of Elizabeth! Yes, this is in specific reference to her family, but still, he's pretty clear that his true motive was Elizabeth's peace of mind.

In this case, his claim to the Gardiners that he was principally motivated by his sense of guilt over Wickham would simply be a lie—perhaps a benevolent one to protect Elizabeth from feeling pressured, perhaps a necessary one in the circumstances, but still not an actual motive and not truly an aspect of his character.

Interestingly, though, when Elizabeth receives Mrs Gardiner's account of the Lydia affair in her letter, she does not doubt that Darcy was telling the truth about his motives, even if his feelings for her also affected him:

he had liberality, and he had the means of exercising it; and though she would not place herself as his principal inducement, she could perhaps believe, that remaining partiality for her might assist his endeavours in a cause where her peace of mind must be materially concerned.

Elizabeth is in a lot of turmoil and uncertainty at the time, so it does make sense that she might not fully realize, or dare assume, that she really was his primary motivation—even if it means that she's largely wrong about him all over again.

...except, a mere two sentences before Darcy says "I thought only of you," he says something else that's often excluded from the romantic (or anti-Darcy) use of the original quote.

"That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny."

So in this very passage, he says that he had other motives than Elizabeth's happiness, but that the possibility of making her happy strengthened his other motives. That is quite similar to what Elizabeth concluded when she read Mrs Gardiner's letter (even the phrasing is similar). She did underestimate the strength of Darcy's feelings during that whole phase of the story, yes—he certainly feels more than "remaining partiality." But she's not getting him fundamentally wrong at this point.

I think that, like Elizabeth, Darcy did feel guilty about Wickham (both of them disproportionately to their actual culpability, IMO). I think that this really was a driving motive for his intervention with Lydia—first in trying to get Lydia to leave Wickham, and secondly in arranging the marriage. Of course, his feelings for Elizabeth would strengthen that drive, and did! But I don't think he was mostly lying to the Gardiners or that Elizabeth's analysis of his actions and character were all that wrong this time.

IMO, when he says he was only thinking of Elizabeth, he's speaking specifically in the context of her attempt to voice the gratitude that her family (allegedly) would feel if they knew the truth of what he had done. He respects them as human beings at this point, but he wasn't acting for the sake of the Bennets as a group and doesn't feel like they really owe him anything. The only person he was particularly motivated by was Elizabeth. He also doesn't want her to feel like she owes him something, but if she's going to thank him personally, it should be for herself alone; anything else is kind of wrong and fake.

In that sense, he was only thinking about her—that is, as opposed to thinking about other people. But given his longer speech, in which he explicitly says he had other motives, Elizabeth's happiness being the only person's he was really preoccupied with doesn't prevent him from having more complicated, abstract, layered motives overall. It can be romantic without necessarily being simple.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

this episode was slightly clunky in places, but let me tell you what i loved.

i ADORED the scenes of them alone in baek inhyuk's house — one of the best qualities of a well-made k-drama is how beautifully it can capture the holiness of commonplace events — the "precious intimacy of ordinary things." sunjae drying sol's hair for her is an excellent example — so much love in such a small gesture.

sunjae's ridiculous attempts to get into the guest-room with sol were BEYOND adorable — it's also such a nice touch by the writers to show that despite the otherworldliness and rarity of his love for sol, sunjae is still a 20-year old boy at heart. he does stupid (albeit unbelievably cute) things. and that's okay. that makes him even more endearing.

the entire segment when they're talking in the guest-room while cuddling was heart-touching. sunjae wishing that she never has to go back, that tomorrow never arrives, sol committing his sleeping face to memory because she knows she's going to pretend to leave the next morning. she's going to have to let him go. there's this japanese phrase that's very popular: "mono no aware —" that describes these scenes perfectly. it means the bittersweet beauty of transience.

the moment is full of it — the lovely ache of passing time — because of course tomorrow arrives. it has to. but that doesn't make the memories matter any less, or hold less weight.

it's like the cherry blossoms sunjae sees wilting earlier in the episode — they may bloom only for a moment, but the petals pinken in the mind for months after; still fresh.

that's the melancholy charm of their love.

my heart went out to sol during this episode. she looked happiness in the face and decided to give up even the little time she had left with it, just to save sunjae. she's risking life and limb to protect him, (again), only to have her actions further compound their fate.

greek tragedies (and shakespearean plays) operate on the same principle — it is often the core aspect of your personality, and the best of your intentions; that leads you down the dark road of your destiny. (eg: oedipus, hamlet, etc). in sol's case, this is the selflessness of her love for sunjae, and vice versa. they both spent this episode trying their level best to protect each other. it's not going to end well. (but since this was marketed as a rom-com, i'm hoping the actual ending of the show will be happy.)

also, the way byeon woo-seok's face just crumples when sol runs off the train? the mute agony in his eyes — how his expression just splinters into pieces? it's a masterclass in acting. he genuinely deserves an award for this role.

i am not going to talk about the promo because i have been traumatized enough. i will see you all next monday.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Oh these two idiots are both so gone.

Ooh, "creating art is about exploring what you like" is a nice line. So often we put too much into feeling like creativity has to end up with a good product, and less about what it can teach us about ourselves.

I like how this show talks about art. And New is making it so clear here that he does put a part of himself in all of his shows, whatever people might think. Respect.

And we're normalizing taking breaks and that you can't be productive and creative all the time! Fabulous.

We love a queen who makes the most of her background time.

I mean, valid question Peem, but also - pot, kettle, etc, etc.

Oh god, their actual boyfriend era is going to end me.

You know what I really love about this Phum/Peem scene? They're making it clear that mutual attraction is just one piece of the relationship puzzle. But the friendship still needs to be there, the caring when someone is having a bad day, and being there to pick them up. So many BLs gloss over the mutual support part of romantic relationships in favor of the swoony bits, but this is the kind of thing that makes a couple seem likely to actually last.

Also what does it say about BLs that I was so relieved they actually rolled up their pant legs at the pool? (Of course they still end up wet in the end, but it's the principle of the thing!)

Phum is just 100% always thirsty for Peem and I respect it.

Haha, love Q being all "hands off my baby, stat".

And they're communicating so openly! My sweeties.

Omg, omg, Fang trying to teach himself to express tenderness to Tan, I cannot.

Just go slow Fang, or you may kill this man with happiness!

Aaaaaah, not Pun finding a little bird and wanting to help it, going to Chain (of course), AND naming it Penguin.

I am already at lethal levels of cuteness overload, and we haven't even gotten to the FangTan scene yet.

Staawwwp.

Lolol, of course he got sick, he got wet for 30 seconds. But again we get the subversion, we're paying tribute to the sick trope, but not fully engaging! Heh, this show is so fun.

Has anyone else noticed the slight tone shift for Phum when he's talking to Peem? There's a new softness to it and it's adorable.

Toey, no, no crying wolf to your boyfriend!

But the pencil case thing is adorable.

I think the Peem and Q friendship chemistry might be my favorite in the whole show.

Lol, not Peem letting slip he slept with Phum last night!

Beer, you are such a champion. Good wingmanning, while also not excusing Phum's bad behaviors.

Oh, baby Phum being sent away, that's heart-breaking. No wonder he has walls like that.

I am loving these reveals with Fang. He's such an internal character, so we are unpeeling the layers slowly. But seeing how annoyed he is to not be able to reach Tan, and how fast Tan is able to make him smile again, makes it so clear how much he really needs him.

And the way he smiles so big when he thinks no one can see, but goes right back to pouty face with Tan because it gets him the attention he craves...

Whoever dressed Q for this series, I love you.

Phum going from self-doubt to full steam ahead the moment he gets reassurance his feelings are returned is delightful to see.

Omg, domestic Fang and Tan. But also Fang, you can learn to cook other things, y'know?

Lolol, Fang absolutely loves Tan's antics, it's so freaking adorable.

Aou and Boom always frickin bring it, we thank you for your service boys.

Also more trope play! Tan holding Fang down in the cliche way, but Fang still showing agency and not playing the blushing maiden. Perfect.

Ok, I liked the Kluen scene. He's being shown as a real person with a life of his own, he's not just the "rival". And Peem is being more straightforward with him.

Hahaha, Chain short-circuiting more and more as Pun gets closer.

MATT, WHAT THE HELL?! You do not interfere with my crumbs, dammit!!

Omg, not Chain just blurting out that he likes being shipped with Pun.

I love that everyone is shocked by Phum except for Beer, who is just like "yup".

I do typically hate public declarations, but I will let it go here, because the friend group is the key to the whole series.

Also, Pun is drunk again, so Chain better be ready for some biting! Chomp, chomp.