#i love her i adore her i esteem her my idol

[blossomwritesthings]

Hyunjin sickfic when. *folds arms waiting patiently* 🤭

I love your writing sm I’m gonna cry

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!hyunjin. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. hospital visit. this one's got angst in it. reader is sick (with a sprained ankle). hyunjin is worried af, as he should be lmao. reader has low self-esteem w/her dancing abilities, and has difficulty opening up about how she truly feels. pet names (affectionately). toothe-rotting fluff.

word count: 6.3k (yikes got carried away with this one wtf)

summary: it's been proving to be very difficult to keep the dance class that you take three times a week a secret from your boyfriend hyunjin. and the lies only become even harder to tell when you suddenly hurt your foot during class one night.

a/n: originally, i was planning on posting this yesterday as a kind of valentine's day gift for you guys, but then uni homework raw-dogged me like a total bitch and i got fucked over with a horrible migraine later in the night... i love my life!!! 😊 anyways, this was really fun to write- i FUCKING ADORE SOFT HYUNJIN!!! 😭 thanks for requesting, @hyungenie5... i hope this little piece of writing is to your liking, and thanks for your support~ 🤍

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The dance class was supposed to remain a secret. No one - not even your boyfriend Hyunjin - was supposed to know that you were taking it until it was long over in the summer. By the end of the class, you hoped that your skills would improve immensely and that you’d be able to join your boyfriend in the studio some time to dance with him. 

 But unfortunately, those grand plans all came to a halt late one Friday night. 

 When you were practicing a certain twirl that had been giving you a hard time for the past week. For some reason, one of the laces of your sneakers had come undone. And this prompted you to trip over it when you suddenly came out of the spin. 

 You landed on the ground in a heap of limbs, clenching down hard on your jaw at the feel of a sharp pain shooting through your left ankle. The ache was agonizing, and it took everything in you to not scream out in anguish at the feeling that had quickly exploded inside your ankle. 

 Soon, your classmates rushed over and helped you off of the floor and onto a nearby bench, where your teacher took a look at your foot.

 “It doesn’t look too bad, it’s just a bit swollen from the impact,” she said, peering up at you, a sheen of sweat glistening across her exposed forehead. It was sweltering in the practice room at the gym where you were taking the lessons, and everyone crowding around you was out of breath from the routine that the class had been practicing tirelessly for the last month or so. “I’d advise you to keep off of it as much as you can for the next few days and ice it every night. Don’t come into class Monday and instead give it a rest, and it should be better by the next session on Wednesday.” Your teacher instructed you, before giving your knee a gentle squeeze and going back to a group of students who needed her advice on a certain move. You had class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday late in the night, but surprisingly, the sessions were always packed with wannabe dancers, even late into the night. It just proved how many people desperately wanted to become better dancers. And you were one of those ‘people.’ 

 “Can you make it to your car alone?” One of your classmates asked. You looked up at Yejun, offering her a smile that quickly turned into a grimace of pain. You had met her soon after you started the class, and the two of you had grown closer over the past few months. 

 But no one knew who you were dating - who your boyfriend of three years was. They couldn’t know, otherwise, that would jeopardize everything Hyunjin did for work and your entire livelihood. So, you mostly stayed silent about the intimate details of your personal life with everyone else and opted to talk about the surface-level things in your life.

 “Yeah, I don’t think I can do it,” you laughed in a humorless kind of way. Without another word, Yejun was picking up the large duffle bag that you always brought with you to practice. Then, she was slipping an arm around your waist and leading you out of class and through the spacious gym. It was still relatively busy even for it being so late in the night on a Friday.

 “You promise that you’re gonna rest?” She rose a black, perfectly-manicured eyebrow your way as you shuffled out of the main doors of the gym. 

 And even though you had only known her for a few months, she could get a pretty good read on you. How you didn’t like asking people for help and how you tended to bottle things up all of the time. You had done such a thing since you were a very little girl, and you supposed there was no changing the way your mind was built. Even still, this aspect of your personality drove Hyunjin insane. He’d pry and pry and pry for you to tell him what was truly wrong with you, and it’d take more than just a few kisses and gentle words to finally get you to talk. It didn’t matter who you were with - who you were talking to - you just… couldn’t talk about really personal stuff most of the time. 

 “Yeah, yeah- I’ll rest all this weekend.” You rolled your eyes at Yejun as you stopped just in front of your car. You pulled out your keys, unlocking the doors before throwing your duffle bag into the backseat. 

 “Okay, well… drive safe and take it easy, yeah?” She mumbled, pulling you into a gentle hug, and you gave her a quick pat on the back before pulling away. “See you on Wednesday?” 

 You flashed her a playful wink, “Sure thing!” You waved her off as you slipped into the driver’s seat of your car. Your friend returned the gesture before she turned around and jogged back into the gym. 

 As soon as she was out of sight, you let out the moan of misery that you had been holding in for the last few minutes. The pain seemed to shoot through your ankle in quick increments, traveling up the length of your leg and pooling in your knee. 

 Holding onto the steering wheel with a death-like grip, you took a few deep breaths. The ache wouldn’t be this bad forever. You just needed to ice it. Just follow what your teacher told you to do, and you’ll be fine. You said all of these things and more to yourself inside your head as you turned your key in the car's socket and the car’s ignition roared to light. 

 Just get home and get in bed, and then everything will be alright. 

 But everything was not alright. 

 This was made so apparent when you stood in front of your apartment door and the remembrance dawned on you that Hyunjin had the entire weekend off. So that meant that he would be home earlier than he usually would be on a Friday night. And since it was a quarter-past-eleven at night, he was sure to be home.

 Fuck. 

 It had already been an entire production getting out of your car and into your apartment’s elevator, what with your limping form and all. But now you had to face your very own boyfriend, who wasn’t even aware that you were taking a dance class in the first place. You wanted it to be a surprise for him. You had always been self-conscious about your dance skills ever since you were a little girl. 

  And then you went ahead and started dating one of the best dancers in all of the Kpop industry. As a consequence, your self-esteem in the dancing department tanked astonishingly low. You’d regularly join Hyunjin in the studio late at night at the company, and sometimes he’d try to teach you some of Stray Kids choreo. But most of the time, you made a complete fool of yourself, and instead opted to just watch him from the sidelines. Watch in silence, offering praise when you could, about how perfect his angles were, how amazing his technique was, and how his flow and rhythm were impeccable with the music. 

 Meanwhile, deep inside your mind, you were playing the same thought over and over again; why can’t you just be a better dancer like him? Why can you just not suck at it, for once in your damn life? He probably thinks your horrible, and he’s right… no wonder why he stopped offering you teach you. 

 But in the new year, finally feeling fed up from always feeling shitty when your boyfriend would show you a video of his dance practices, or when you’d watch him in the studio, you decided to sign up for the beginner's contemporary dance class at your local gym. 

 It was daunting, at first, to go by yourself without knowing anyone there, but soon, you got used to the feeling and genuinely started to enjoy your time spend in the studio. It was hard work, that was for sure, but you liked the idea of finally finishing it in the early spring and then surprising your amazingly-talented dancer boyfriend with the choreo that you had learned and practiced tirelessly for the past few months, unbeknownst to him. 

 To keep the class a secret from Hyunjin, you had lied and told him that you were going to the local gym and lifting weights. And it wasn’t a complete lie, because technically, you were at the gym. You just weren’t lifting any weights. 

 Nevertheless, Hyunjin had been hesitant about the idea. Especially since you would be coming and going so late at night. At first, he had protested against it because of how many creeps could be hanging around the gym that late at night. He didn’t want you willingly putting yourself in any danger from being out so late alone. But, after much negotiation and pleading on your part, you had managed to convince him to be okay with it. And then, you were off… attending the class three times a week and absorbing the lessons like a little ocean sponge out in deep sea waters. 

 You gathered up all of the courage you still had inside of you as you shuffled across the apartment’s threshold. A couple of the lights were left on in the living room, and dim classical music was filtering out through the nearby room to the right of you. Hyunjin’s art studio. The two of you had chosen this specific apartment to rent out because it offered two bedrooms, and the space that he wanted to make his office had an amazing, large bay window that showcased a huge portion of Seoul's cityscape. The view in there was breathtaking and was the key inspiration for a lot of his recent art pieces. 

 A sigh of relief fled from your lips as you dropped your duffle bag down on the nearby dining room table and made to get some ice for your foot. Your entire body was sticky from your dried sweat, and you longed to hop into the shower for a nice cool-off. Just as soon as you ice your ankle. 

 Just as you were filling up a small plastic bag of ice, you heard a door open behind you. Then, in a few beats, you felt two long arms wrap around your waist from behind. If you weren’t in so much pain at that moment, you would’ve been happy to feel Hyunjin’s presence at your back. But mostly, you just felt exhausted and irritable. And these were two things that didn’t mix well together.

 “Welcome home, sweetheart,” he muttered, as he leaned down with his tall frame to pepper gentle kisses against your shoulder. “How was your workout?” 

 “Fine, I guess.” You said in a slightly-dismissive tone, as you finished filling up your baggie with ice. 

 “And why in the world are you filling up a plastic bag with ice?”

 Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach at his question. Because in your state of discomfort and exhaustion, you hadn’t thought out the lie that you would have to tell him for why you could barely fucking walk. And you definitely couldn’t tell him to the extent that the pain was at. But there was no getting around the fact that you had hurt yourself, so better to tell a small white lie than ignore it entirely. 

 “I, uh- kinda hurt my foot when I was working out with weights tonight, but I’m okay.” You said, trying to keep your voice light and airy. 

 Immediately as the words fell from your lips, Hyunjin was turning you around. His eyes raked over your face, assessing your neutral expression before flitting down to the rest of your body. Like he’d be able to see any other injuries you hadn’t told him about if he looked hard enough. 

 “Are you sure you’re okay?” His brows were furrowed in worry, the concern blatantly shining in his dark brown eyes. His fingers brushed across your cheek, before tucking a few stray, sweaty strands of your hair behind your ear. 

 You gave him a soft smile, leaning up to ruffle his fluffy, peachy-pink hair a little bit. “Yes babe, I’m fine.” 

 “Then, you should rest and use the ice pack.” 

 You gave him a sardonic grin, “That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped my plans and started to grill me with questions.” 

 He slipped his arms from your hips and reluctantly stepped away from your frame to allow you space to continue your routine. But not before he leaned down into you with his towering form and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. And if your foot didn’t currently hurt like a bitch, you probably would’ve melted into his embrace and let him hold and kiss you for a long time after that. Instead, you just felt like a sweaty ball of painful shit and wanted to hop into bed as soon as possible. 

 “I’ll be in my office if you need anything…” Hyunjin’s delicate voice stayed with you in the kitchen, as he trekked back to the door to his office. 

 You quickly grabbed a kitchen dish towel to use to wrap around your bag of ice. “Alright. I’m going to take a quick shower and then head to bed.” 

 “I’ll be there in a little while,” your boyfriend said, and when you looked up at him, he was giving you this sweet, pure look of devotion. But it was also mixed with a tad bit of unease. He never did like the idea of you being injured in any way. “Try to get some rest, yeah?” 

 “Sure, baby,” you flashed him a wink, “but only if you come to bed relatively early tonight.” It seemed like he was always slipping into bed late these days… curling up behind you well past three in the morning. He proclaimed that it was only because inspiration struck him the strongest late into the night, and while you weren’t one to stand between an artist and their craft, there had to be a better solution for inspiration than ruining his entire sleep schedule.

 “I'll sure try, sweetheart.” Hyunjin’s soft voice followed behind you, as you made your way to your shared bedroom. 

 At least you weren’t the only one who told lies in the relationship. 

 The next day, your foot hurt like a literal bitch all day long. The pain wasn’t too bad after you first woke up, and upon icing it for a little while, it felt somewhat better. But then you went about the apartment doing the chores that you usually did every Saturday, and the discomfort returned tenfold. 

 At one point, it was so bad that when you sat down on the living room couch for a few minutes to give it a rest, you could barely get up again. And when you untucked your sock after lunch, you noticed how your left foot was looking a little… discolored. Some parts of your ankle were grayed, and a tiny bit of swelling was present too. But you had hurt it in dance, so that was to be expected. 

 You tried to hide the agony that you were in from your boyfriend, but being the perceptive man that he was, he automatically picked up on it. After all, he had become attuned over the years to understanding when you were feeling shitty since it took you so long to admit to him how you were feeling. Throughout the day, he’d ask you if you were okay and force you to sit down for a few minutes to ice the hurting foot. 

 But it was after dinner that he finally decided to put his foot down about the whole thing. He had dragged you over to the living room couch, practically throwing you onto the plush cushions before plopping down beside you. 

 “And what gives you the right to think you can throw me around like your own personal rag doll?” You asked, playfulness dripping from your tone. You turned to him and rose a quizzical eyebrow his way as he turned on the tv and flipped through Netflix to find a movie to watch. The usual thing that you two liked to do every Saturday night; was curl up on the couch and get all cozy with each other. The movie nights either ended in one of two ways, cuddling until you both fell asleep right then and there, or making out and soon traveling into the bedroom for a long night of fun. 

 “I’m forcing you to take a break, that’s what I’m doing,” he leveled you with a serious face, a slight frown pulling his mouth downwards. 

 You folded your arms across your chest defensively, “I don’t need a break, babe. I’m fine.” 

 “Oh yeah? Well then, I guess I’ve just been imagining all of the pained faces that you’ve been making all day, or that perpetual furrow in your brow that you always get when you’re holding something in?” Hyunjin said, voice completely flat. Just then he reached out to you, wrapping a long arm around your waist and yanking you close to his side before tucking a fuzzy blanket around the two of you. 

 “I’m not furrowing my brows.” You said defensively, even though you had given up on fighting him any longer. Honestly, you were a little too tired from all of the hurt and activity of the day to care. So you snuggled deeper against him, slinging your arms around his waist and breathing in his scent of fresh linen and sweet roses. “And besides, the apartment needed cleaning. A bad foot wasn’t going to stop me from completing my mission.” You had taken some pain medication soon after lunch, but since it was late into the night, it had worn off. You’d have to take some before you went to bed, but it didn’t seem to help that much, since you had still been in pain even after taking it in the middle of the day.

 “Just shut up and relax, will ya?” Your boyfriend all but grumbled, as he finally selected some random thriller to watch. You hid your smile behind your blanket as you felt him lean down and press a few kisses atop the crown of your head. “Just want you to feel better, my love…” 

 You turned your head up on his shoulder so that you were staring right into his expressive dark-brown eyes. “And I already do feel better just with your kisses alone.” A smirk spread across your mouth, as you leaned into him and your mouths met again in a soft kiss. 

 Your boyfriend motioned with his head to the flashing tv screen in front of the two of you, “Now, let’s focus on the movie so that you can get your mind off of the discomfort.” 

 A few giggles escaped from deep inside of you at his serious tone. He truly did care a lot about you and your well-being. And so that’s why you didn’t want to tell him how bad the pain was. Because you knew that as soon as you told him, he’d get himself all worked up into a tizzy and obsess over your health until you were back to one-hundred-and-twenty percent. Would practically nurse you back to health, ignoring all of his other duties at the company until he could confirm with his own two eyes that his girlfriend was feeling much better than before. 

 So you stayed silent, refraining from revealing to him how much agony you truly were in from your foot alone. You turned your attention to the movie in front of you. 

 And the feel of his long, muscular arms wrapped around your waist and squeezing slightly, the comforting sense of his warm body just beside yours, did wonders to the pain. It worked better than any of the medicine in the entire world, and you soon found yourself completely ignoring and forgetting the ache that was shooting through your foot and up into your veins and instead was basking in the feel and smell of your very loving boyfriend. 

 “Sweetheart, do you want to stop and take a rest for a minute?” Hyunjin asked you in a gentle voice the next day. What with it being Sunday and since the two of you were still off from work, you had decided to spend the day out on the town - shopping around. 

 You two had already eaten a sweet breakfast of pastries and coffee at a local cafe and were currently walking the streets of Hongdae, in search of a matching set of hoodies that fit both of your styles perfectly. So far, you had had no luck at the boutiques that you had already searched. The fuzzy hoodies were either too frilly or too plain...

 You shook your head vehemently, “No, I’m fine… don’t worry about me.” But you knew you telling him that would only make him worry even more. Since your foot only hurt even worse when you woke up early that morning. The pain throbbed up your leg now, and it felt like somehow was grasping harshly at your left ankle bone every time you walked on it, rattling the thing bitterly. 

 You were practically limping pathetically at your boyfriend's side, desperate hands clutching at his arm to stop you from completely toppling over into a pile of weak limbs right there. Because that’s what you were feeling at that exact moment; weak. 

 Hyunjin ran a frustrated hand through his peachy-pink locks, an exasperated sigh flooding from his lips, “I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to us going out today-” He started to grumble beside you. 

 Just then, the two of you stepped over a particular area of sidewalk that was somewhat cracked in the middle. And of course, your left shoe - your bad foot - just had to get caught in the tiny space there. Immediately, your body hurled to the ground as you grasped for your boyfriend. Thankfully, he caught you just in time before you hit the asphalt, pulling you up onto your feet again. 

 And when you stood straight once more, the agony only intensified even more so. Feeling so overwhelmed by it, and so, so weary with sudden despair, a tiny cry escaped past your lips as your legs gave out from underneath you. Toppling onto the ground in a heap of exhaustion, the tears were freely flowing down your cheeks. 

 Hyunjin was already crouching at your side, one arm wrapped around your waist. “Darling, what’s wrong-” He began, the worry seeping from his tone. 

 “It’s hurts, Hyunjin… like, a lot…” You managed to get out in between your sobs. Your vision was blurry from your tears, cheeks warm to the touch at the embarrassment of feeling others' eyes on you as they passed by on the street. 

 But not another word needed to be spoken, as you were soon being lifted into your boyfriend’s arms. And a moment later, he was gently placing you down on a nearby bench. 

 He was then crouching in front of your feet, gently grasping at your left foot and holding it out to him slowly. “Can I take a look at it, sweetheart?” He asked you with all of the tenderness in the world. The look in his eyes then- one of pure apprehension and heartache did something funny to your heart and only made you cry even harder. You nodded your head in silent approval. 

 Heart beating wildly inside your chest, you waited, and watched in bated since, as your boyfriend gingerly slipped off your thin sneaker. With thin, nimble fingers, he slid your baby-blue sock down and off of your foot. 

 And the moment he saw what lay underneath, he gasped audibly. Your foot was steadily turning purple and blue and was swollen all around the ankle. Eyes completely focused on your foot, Hyunjin turned your foot from either side, inspecting it diligently. 

 Finally, after what felt like an eternity of looking at it, he stared up at you with wide eyes. The heartbreaking look in them told you all you needed to know- the way that his lips slightly fell open in his surprise, jaw clenching in anger. “B-Baby, has it looked like this since you got home from the gym on Friday?” His fingers gently swept over the bone that was slightly protruding out to the side near your ankle. 

 The tears had begun to slow down, leaving wet trails down either of your heated cheeks. Sniffling, you meekly nodded your head yes in answer. “Why? Is it that bad?” 

 A deep crease formed between his dark brows, and his blush-pink hair blew in the cool February breeze that suddenly swept across the streets at that moment. “Sweetheart, this looks really- really bad,” his eyes flitted down to your foot again, which he was still holding in one of his palms. “I’ve seen a lot of injuries, and I know the signs… honey, I think you’ve sprained it.” 

 Your heart plummeted into the pit of your stomach. “W-What? But… how could that be? It’s not like I-” Your voice took on an incredulous tone, but before you could say anything else, your boyfriend was moving your foot again, turning it slightly so that he could slip your sock back on. You hissed in discomfort, biting down hard on your bottom lip to quell the moan that wanted to bubble up and out of you just then. The pain was unbearable. 

 Your boyfriend stood up from the ground, fitting two hands around your waist and helping you rise from the bench. He slipped an arm around your hips, securing you to his side as you slowly began to shuffle down the street, going backward from the way you had just come from. “C’mon, we gotta get you to the hospital.” He said, leading you two away from the shops that you had been at for the last few hours. 

 “Hospital? No- that’s not necessary, I just need to… rest at home, that’s all…” Your voice trailed off as another wave of pain throbbed through your tender foot. 

 Hyunjin leveled you with a glare. “It’s either you come with me willingly, or I carry you in my arms bridal style. Either way, you’re fucking going to the hospital.” The way he said the last of his words in that deathly-low tone sent a chill down your spine. Because you knew it all too well since he’d only use it on you when you were being particularly stubborn. And almost always, it was during a time when you weren’t taking any regard for your health, and Hyunjin had to force you to do the things necessary to practically stay alive. 

 “O-Okay…” You whispered. You struggled along beside him, fingers holding on tight to his thick brown winter jacket. “Just… don’t let go?” You stared up at him with big eyes, lip quivering a little bit from the pain of having to walk and put pressure on your bruised foot. 

 “Never, sweetheart.” He brought you closer to him then, practically wrapping both arms around your waist and helping you along the sidewalk as you slowly made your way back to his car. 

 “Well, you have a sprained ankle,” the nurse told you a few hours later. She was a rather short, petite-looking woman, with long, black hair swept up into a tight braid at the back of her head. “You’ll need to diligently rest for the next… four to six weeks. The doctor suggested using an ice pack for twenty minutes a few times a day, to help with the swelling.” 

 After you and Hyunjin had left Hongdae, it was only a matter of time before he found the nearest hospital and checked you into the Emergency Room there. After waiting for a little over an hour, you were finally called back into one of the exam rooms. It merely took the nurse and doctor one look at your ankle to confirm that it was sprained. After the doctor’s assessment, the nurse filed back into the room to hand you some paperwork to fill out. 

 During the entire visit, Hyunjin was sitting beside your hospital bed in a small chair, clutching onto your hand as you awaited the news of your diagnosis. He let out a sigh of relief at the news of it only being a sprain since he had been worrying that it was broken instead. 

 “And don’t walk on it,” the nurse continued, as she handed you a bottle of prescribed high-dosage pain medications. “I understand that it will be difficult to assimilate to a less active lifestyle for some time, but please remember that if you walk on it, doing so can put you at risk for horrible complications in the future and hinder you from achieving a full recovery.” 

 “I understand, thank you so much,” you said, giving her a soft smile as you fit the bottle of pain meds into your nearby purse. Your boyfriend was still clutching onto your hand, fingers squeezing a little too tightly as you positioned yourself back on the bed. 

 "I’ll give you two a few minutes, and then come back to assist you in checking out at the front desk.” The nurse returned your smile and bowed slightly at you and Hyunjin before making her way out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. 

 Immediately, your boyfriend turned to you with a deep frown. “And you’ve been walking on a sprained ankle for the past… three days.” He shook his head in disapproval, running a frantic hand through your hair. “Honestly, Y/N, I don’t understand why you do this to yourself- why you do it to me…” 

 Training your focus down at your lap, your fingers absently played with a loose strand from your thick winter sweater. “It’s not like I mean to not tell you stuff. It just… happens.” 

 “And you said you got this from lifting weights at the gym?” 

 His question forced your head to shoot up without you even thinking about it, eyes locking with his as he sat just beside you in his tiny vinyl chair. “Y-Yeah… I must’ve used the barbell wrong or something.” You laughed a little anxiously, heart beating painfully against your ribcage. 

 Because he couldn’t find out. It was downright embarrassing to think about him knowing you had been taking dance classes. But you also wanted to keep it a surprise for him, when you eventually performed your routine for him - not like that would happen anytime soon though, since you would be on bed rest for the foreseeable future. 

 Hyunjin brought his hand away from yours then, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly, crossing his legs together and giving you a knowing look. “I call bullshit. You don’t get a strained ankle from lifting a few pounds.” 

 “And how do you know that, mister?” 

 “Because I’ve seen the guys get injured from lifting before, but it never has to do with their ankles.” 

 “Well, maybe I’m the exception.” 

 “Cut the crap, sweetheart,” his voice came out a little cold just then, eyes raking over your form, studying your face to gauge your emotions at that moment. “Tell me what happened on Friday night.” 

 The embarrassment overtook you again, and you ripped your eyes from his. Focusing once more on your hands, you twisted the end of your sweater around your fingers. There wasn’t any use in keeping the ruse up any longer. It’s not like you’d be dancing the routine any time soon. So, you finally gave in and confessed to your boyfriend in a quiet mumble. 

 He leaned forward, tilting his body close to yours so that he could hear you better. “I didn’t hear that, love. Speak up.” 

 Clenching your fists in sudden annoyance, you stared at him, already feeling the crimson pooling in your cheeks. “I said- I was taking a dance class, okay?! And I fell and hurt my ankle- the instructor said it would be fine, but obviously, she isn’t a doctor…” 

 Silence filled the entire room after that, and it was charged with equal amounts of confusion and hurt. “Why in the world are you taking a dance class?” 

 “Because- I want to be good at dancing…” You exclaimed, staring into Hyunjin's eyes with what you hoped was a fierce expression. “I fucking suck at it- and- and you’re just so amazing, and I… I wanted to surprise you with a routine that I had learned all on my own. But then, I hurt myself, so that’s never gonna happen now.” 

 “Don’t say that.” 

 “Say what?” You canted your head to the side, watching as the emotions erupted across your boyfriend's face. First, it was anger, that you had kept such a secret from him for so long, then it was sadness, that you had felt the need to prove yourself in any way to him. 

 “Say that you suck at dancing,” he began, as he moved forward and clasped either of your hands in his. He brought them close to his mouth, lips hovering near your skin and pressing a few soft kisses to your knuckles. “You’re great at it, baby, don’t doubt yourself. And I was never amazing right off the bat. It took me a long time and lots of hard work to get where I am today.”

 “Yeah, but some people are just naturally born with it, and I don’t think I am. So… that’s why I was trying to improve.” You shrugged slowly, a zap of energy coursing through your veins each time Hyunjin pressed a fervent kiss against your hands. 

 “Well, I always think that improvement is good. But, there has to be a balance. You can’t simply ignore your health just because you want to get better at something.” Your boyfriend said in a calm voice, the warmth of it vibrating on your flesh and softening some hard part inside of you. “And besides, even if you weren’t born with the gift of dance - which I don’t believe to be true - there are still other gifts that you have that are unique and wonderful to you, baby. You shouldn’t compare yourself to me, or anyone else, for that matter.” 

 You gave him a frown, eyes locked on his mouth that kept nearing your knuckles and pressing kisses there. “I know, but… it’s just hard sometimes, you know? To be dating such a… talented man.” 

 A tiny sound of pain - of heartbreak - fled from Hyunjin’s mouth then, and suddenly, he was pulling you towards him. Fitting his arms around your waist, he squeezed on tight. In an instant, you melted into the touch, burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck and inhaling his calming, sweet scent. 

 “I’m so sorry that you’ve felt like this, sweetheart. I had no idea.” He mumbled close to your ear, imprinting a soft kiss against the exposed skin there. “How can I make it up to you, darling? How can I change things, so that you don’t think so poorly of yourself anymore?” 

 You positioned yourself away from him a tiny bit, offering him a light smile, “Babe, you don’t have to do anything for me. My low self-esteem when it comes to dancing isn’t your fault, so don’t worry about it.” 

 He leaned in, kissing your lips gently. “Yes, but I don’t like the thought of you feeling so down about your abilities…” his voice trailed off into silence, as he contemplated what he could do for you. “I know- I’m going to nurse you back to health, and when your ankle is completely healed, I’ll help you continue learning that dance routine from your class. How does that sound, love?” 

 You kissed him back, hot breaths mingling slightly in the passion of the moment. “I’d like that very much, but… don’t you have your schedules?” 

 Hyunjin waved a nonchalant hand in the air like he didn’t have so many people expecting high standards from him every single day. “I can still help you and do my job, baby- it isn’t rocket science.” 

 You contemplated his idea over in your head. You hadn’t liked him trying to teach you different dances in the past, but perhaps that was because of your issues and not because of his teaching. And now that your struggles with the thing were out in the open, you got the feeling that your boyfriend would be extra careful when teaching you - treat you extra gently when explaining certain moves. 

 “Okay, I like the idea,” you decided, nodding your head slowly in approval. A wide smile cracked across your lips as you stared at his face that was alight with happiness and contentment, “When do we start?” 

 “How does eight weeks from now sound? To give your ankle plenty of time to heal.” 

 Gently carding a few fingers through his light, peachy-pink silky locks, you bent into him, the smile still plastered onto your face as you gave his mouth another kiss which felt like the hundredth one in the last hour. “Sounds perfect.” You said, and soon he was smirking against your lips, before tightening his grip around your hips, yanking you ever closer to his form, and smashing his mouth against yours in a fiery, loving kiss. 

 Fin. 

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© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

[fairyniceyeah]

You made my dawn - Choreography 😇🐯

Titel from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)

Previous story: Loudness

Summary: “Hyungie”, he whispered, barely audible to Eunji’s ears. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that about yourself. I can’t stand hearing you say this.”

CW: self-esteem issues

Main characters: Jeonghan + Hoshi/Soonyoung

Eunji heard the raised voices even from the hallway though she couldn’t make out the words. She knew that Soonyoung and Jeonghan had stayed back a bit to practice but they should have been back at the dorms by now. She was ready to step inside to tell them nicely but firmly that tomorrow was another day. 

It was then that Jeonghan’s voice came through loudly, desperately. “I can’t do it, Soonyoungie! I can’t. Not everybody is as good at dancing as you are. We have been at it for hours and yet I am still not getting it. I’m just not cut out for this.”

The second oldest trainee had always focused on helping his dongsaengs ever since he had joined a few months ago and he was wildly adored by the younger ones, though most of all by Seungcheol. While he didn’t have the ability to hit the high notes as effortlessly as Seungkwan, Seokmin and Jihoon, his lower register was a great compliment to the vocal area. But Euji also knew that he was easily fatigued by the relentless dance practices and he often struggled. 

The biggest problem? Jeonghan loved dancing but he just wasn’t as good as his peers and it frustrated him endlessly and it hurt his self-esteem.

Earlier Soonyoung had offered to help him and Jeonghan, while looking like he had bitten into a lemon, had agreed. Jeonghan wasn’t good at accepting help, just at offering it. And now his frustration was boiling over. 

Just as Eunji pushed the door open a loud, broken sob rang out and her heart went out to Jeonghan. The kid was overwhelmed, overtired and scared he was falling behind, the newest addition to an existing team that appeared so flawless - even as trainees - to the outside eye. She had held him once or twice before when he had cried, thinking he wasn’t good enough. She had always assured him he was - not because she didn’t want to make him sadder but because she knew he was amazing in his own set of skills. 

She stepped forward ready to offer the same comfort as before. But before she could, Soonyoung was on his knees, kneeling in front of his hyung and pulling him into his arms. It was clear neither the sobbing trainee nor his comforter had noticed her.

“Hyungie”, he whispered, barely audible to Eunji’s ears. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that about yourself. I can’t stand hearing you say this.”

“But it’s the truth”, Jeonghan sobbed against Soonyoung’s shoulder, his grip tightening on his dongsaeng as if he was his only lifeline. “I’m not a good dancer. What use is there for an idol that can’t dance? I cannot dance like you or Junnie or even Channie. I can’t sing like Seokminnie and Seungkwannie and Jihoonie. And I certainly can’t rap like Cheollie or Wonwoo-yah or Mingyu-yah or Hansollie. I am useless.”

“Hyung, stop”, Soonyoung replied, his voice sounding wet with tears. Eunji knew it was as difficult for him as it was to hear about Jeonghan doubting himself so much. “You’re not useless. You’re not untalented. Do you know how many kids try out these auditions and how few actually pass? The company believes in you and so do I.”

“The company invited me because of my looks, Soonyoungie, nothing else. They saw me with friends playing billiards and this guy kept staring at me. He thought I was pretty and should try to audition for an acting career. I was so nervous at the audition I blew it and I was puking in the company’s bathroom because I was so scared”, Jeonghan revealed, his whole body shaking in Soonyoung’s arms. “Then somebody else looked at me and thought I was pretty and told me to audition again. I wanted to prove to myself I could do it and I still don’t know why I passed. I think they pitied me more than anything.”

“Hyung”, Soonyoung’s voice was sharp, sharper than Eunji had ever heard him. “Enough. I’m sorry to be so blunt but right now the only person pitying you is yourself. So what, you are pretty! That doesn’t mean you can’t be good at idol stuff. Besides, Channie, Junnie and I have been dancing since we were kids. Of course you aren’t as good. You don’t have to be - nobody thinks you’ll be the main dancer and that’s okay. You’re not half-bad at rapping, you know? And honestly? I love your singing.”

Jeonghan sniffed. “You’re just saying that because you are nice.”

“No, hyungie”, Soonyoung mumbled, holding Jeonghan tighter and tucking him under his chin, like a mother would to a child. It was very sweet, in Eunji’s opinion. Soonyoung was a natural caretaker and she knew she wouldn’t have done a better job. Jeonghan needed to hear reassurance from his peers more than from his manager. 

“I truly enjoy your singing voice the most. Seokminnie is amazing but so loud and I am honestly praying for him to stop singing at times. Seungkwannie is talented, sure, but listening to high notes all day? No thanks. And Jihoonie? I do feel bad for him so much but have you heard how often his voice cracks lately? I swear it’s like bad fireworks and I am hoping for the day his voice stops changing.”

Jeonghan gave a wet chuckle at that, a hiccough following. Eunji smiled to herself, despite the situation. Soonyoung had a way to lighten the mood and she knew his words weren’t meant in a malicious way. He was speaking the truth. Seokmin was lively but Eunji had once found Jiwon, her fellow manager, jokingly filling out an application for earplugs for all staff working with him. Seungkwan was currently working on his high notes with the vocal teacher and he was good but constant high notes were, in fact, a bit too much. And poor Jihoon, bless him, had been faced with puberty hitting hard lately and his voice was a mess. 

“But your voice?”, Soonyoung continued. “It’s like coming home. Like a fire on a cold day. Like hot chocolate when you are freezing. I could listen to you sing all day and night, you have such a nice and soothing voice.”

Jeonghan giggled at that. “Soonyoungie, you are ridiculous”, he whispered and then, “thank you. So much. I never heard somebody say so much nice stuff about me.”

“Well, get used to it”, Soonyoung replied, smacking a kiss against Jeonghan’s forehead, “you will get a daily compliment from me from now on. Even when we’re old and gray I won’t have run out of things to say.”

Jeonghan sighed and relaxed into his dongsaeng’s arms even more. Slowly the words were sinking in, pushing the dark cloud of self-doubt away. 

Eunji sensed it was time to step in. The two of them had had an exhausting day and they needed rest. She cleared her throat so as not to startle them.

“Noona”, Soonyoung called out, surprised in his voice, “we didn’t notice you there.”

“I noticed”, Eunji replied, lifting an eyebrow. Jeonghan turned around, his face a bit flushed and eyes red from crying. He looked a bit embarrassed now that the crisis was over. 

“Noona”, he whispered, “did you hear all that?”

Eunji crouched down in front of the two of them. “I did”, she said, noticing how Jeonghan’s flush deepened, “I was worried about you but it seems like Soonyoungie handled this well. I couldn’t have found better or truer words.”

“You really think I can be an idol too?”, Jeonghan asked hesitantly. “And not just because I am good looking?”

“Yes, angel”, Eunji said earnestly, “I can see how hard you work. It’s a strength of yours, I think. You know what you need to work on and don’t hesitate to do that. That’s much better than some trainees or idols I know who just rely on their looks. You know what is really important: Raw talent that needs to be worked on and you do. A shining diamond was once coal too, you know? And you have never been coal.”

Soonyoung pressed another kiss to Jeonghan’s cheek, wiping at the tear tracks on his face. 

“Let’s get you two home, okay?”, Eunji suggested, “you need to rest too. Tomorrow is another day.”

Both trainees nodded and Soonyoung stood up, offering his hands to Jeonghan, pulling him to his feet. They left hand in hand, Eunji following close behind.

As soon as the two had slipped into bed, Jeonghan drifted off. Eunji pressed a kiss to the top of his head and tucked him in tightly. “Sleep well”, she whispered.

Then she turned to Soonyoung who was watching them in worry. She sat down on his bed, tucking him in too. “I’m very proud of you, my little tiger”, she said, smoothing his hair back. “You did well.”

Next story: Lost in the big city

[toudencestyay]

Re: Falin's perception of Laios.....Yeah Falin has always seen Laios as "cool big brother" but there's something eyebrow raising about seeing him as a grossly handsome cool-guy so far removed from everyone else's take on him. Kui is several paces away from making a Falin brocon joke.

On that note, I wonder how Laios sees Falin... his image of Marcille focused on how she looked resurrecting Falin, so I wonder if his childhood memories, or other thoughts about her, might frame his perception of her.

I think laios has more questions to answer about his sister complex. Her chimera form definitely made him feel some type of way. Kabru knows.

For what it is of his perception of falin, I believe his feelings are quite complex. I can't help but wonder if there's some kind of envy that he feels towards her alongside his adoration. Despite having arguably suffered from much more discrimination than laios, she maintains an absolute unconditional love for humanity. She ended up making a home at the academy she was sent off to when he couldn't fit in at the army - something he chose to do for her sake mind you -. Maybe "inferiority complex" is a better way to put it. His visions when he was attacked by the dungeon ghosts imply that he doesn't think his friends would bother fighting for him if he was eaten. I believe that the man he idolize disliking him and being in love with her only twist the knife further. Alongside with this feeling of inferiority, there's definitely dependance. It is very clear that at the start of the story, falin as a sort of glue between laios and the rest of the group. And without her, it becomes clear that the group aren't very tolerant of his antics. As much as it hurt, I don't think falin need laios quite as much as he need her. As showcased by this page.

Laios said so himself. Falin's disappearance forced him to make decisions that he would never have made.

His relationships with his group also improve dramatically over the course of the story. In all honesty, if laios was never forced to live without falin for a while, we might have ended up with a more unhealthy and codependent dynamic between the two.

To finally return to falin, I can't lie that I don't think as much about her perspective because it's just isn't as developed as much in the story. Though I think it's worth noting that she share laios's enthusiasm for monster food. A side of her that marcille, and you can assume shuros, doesn't really like about her. So I think there's this little weird side of her that she can only comfortably express with her brother. It's also interesting, the way she abandon school the moment that she sees laios in his sorry state. Was it the longing for her brother or the urge to take care of him that motivated her?

To end this, I want to add that despite seeing laios at his most pathetic and nagging him about his hygiene and appearance, there's a sense that falin's esteem of him never flinched. She's still in awe when he brag about the monsters he slayed. She still call him a genius without any hint of irony.

So there's definitely still a lot of the adoring little sister that cling to laios's arm inside our current falin.

Sorry for such a long answer. It probably didn't really answer your question but this ask made the gear in my brain spin and I couldn't stop xd I hope you enjoyed reading this at least.

[nogenderbee]

I had it written on my requests list but I couldn't find it inbox so I'm guessing I deleted it by accident... but to avoid situation where someone's request was not fulfilled, I decided to do it just in case! Hope you like it!

Also I think I kinda messed up Rui and Kanade but it still seems to have sense soo... I'm leaving it...

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔽𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗-𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕞 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Haruka, Airi, Tsukasa, Rui, Kanade with reader who fakes their high esteem

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ can be read as both fluff and platonic

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow @badwhole @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @indi-has-fallen @modyuki @hakulivesformusic

✧ Haruka is well too familiar with faking your true feelings, so of course she doesn't want you to go through that

✧ as an idol, she fant show ant moment of weakness or sadness, she has to always smile no matter how rough it is so I feel like she could recognize you faking something when you two got to know each other more

✧ she began to explore that topic mor and eventually figured out it's tou self esteem, you're always so sure about you self and yet, your moves show a lot of doubt...

✧ that's a skill she's a little happy she got, she's good at figuring out what others really feel just by body language

✧ she'll do her best to make sure you're not forcing yourself into anything and tries to make the conversation go that way, so you wouldn't feel forced to take you high esteem

✧ it may take some time untill you tell her about it willingly but she doesn't mind waiting

✧ she'll do her best to help you gain some real confidence as you go or at least to be the safe place for you when you don't have to pretend. Not that much at very least...

"You're doing great! I adore the way you're doing it, really. Would you mind teaching me?"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Airi is a bit similiqr to Haruka wit this, she also has some experience with pretending to be someone else

✧ but she definitely has a bit less of that experience, that's why she doesn't see right through you

✧ she may eventually drop some comments like "You don't have to force yourself" but trust me, those are simply lucky guesses, she just noticed you don't seem so fond of the idea, she haven't actually figured out you're taking your self-esteem

✧ if this actually throws you off and you stop pretending, she quickly gets a grab of the situation and does her best to comfort you

✧ but if it doesn't and you'll stick to your faking, she won't even noticed! It's safe to say she only does once you tell her about it

✧ now she feels bad for just leaving you like that so first thing she does is assuring you that you're not as useless as you may think

✧ she has experience with kids so even if you two wouldn't be so close, she can still sweet talk you. But usually she'd prefer not to and speak only from heart!

"I know what you're thinking but know I don't agree with that. I think you're extremely important person."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Tsukasa's self-esteem didn't came from just anywhere, believe it or not, he had to work pretty hard for it and probably fake it momentally too

✧ with that, he recognizes you're problem rather easily, but somehow he thinks it's your way of learning how to really love yourself so he decides to just support you of it!

✧ whenever you drop a line of how great you are, he'll immidietly agree. And on daily basis, he'll drop a compliment for you!

✧ he'll probably eventually approach the topic of self confidence training and that's probably how he discovera you're not exactly faking your self-esteem as confidence training...

✧ it's safe to say, this boy is absolutely stunned, he didn't expect that someone as great as you could have these problems!

✧ now that he knows you lack self confidence, he does his best to help you with it

✧ except a compliment at leady once a day and him initiating mirror practice for you. It might be a bit awkward at first but it gets funnier with time

"Hello Y/N! I love your hair today!"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ somehow Rui immidietly understands why you may not be yourself so openly

✧ are you scared of others judging you? Well... he knows something about it so maybe he can help!

✧ if you're close with each other, I'm sure he'll notice ocassional breaks in your behavior, figuring out there's something more to your personality than you let it show. That's also how he figures it out so quickly

✧ he'll pay close attention to your behavior from now on, trying to figure out what distracts you enough so you'd let go of pretending, don't get him wrong he's happy if you're confident but not when you're just pretending

✧ he doesn't directly confront you about it but he'll definitely bring up the subject eventually

✧ but it's obvious he can't hold it in forever and eventually brings it up only once, if you tell him to drop it then he will, but if you don't...

✧ now you have person who literally texts you "good morning beautiful/handsome" and "goodnight, take a rest you deserve", it's sweet but it's just like mom texting you sometimes ToT

✧ he'll also compliment you in person but not too much, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or seem like it's forced

"How are we doing today? I see you're in high mood and that's good! Remember to give some self care to yourself after school today too!"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Kanade has pretty good intuition when it comes to others mental so I'm willing to think she'd figure out something's off about your behavior but will simply choose not to pry

✧ she'll simply try to give you her best comfort and patiently wait for you to come to her on your own and tell her about it

✧ if you decide to keep it to yourself, there's nothing more she can do than respect that

✧ but if you do tell her, she'll listen to your problems and reasons with kind gaze and after it she'll even do everything she can to help you with your problem

✧ she sees lots of similarities between you and Mafuyu so it's very possible she'll give you the same advices or try helping you in same or very similar way she did to her

✧ of course she's aware everyone is different but trust me when I say those repeating methods only last for some time as soon enough, she thinks of some ideas that are for you only

✧ once she sees progress, she'll continue doing what worked and won't forget to give you a bit of praise and express how proud she is of you for showing your true self more

"I'm glad you're truly yourself now... Remember, don't pay attention to what others say about you."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

[redcloud]

55 years and a few days ago, a 15-year-old Catholic girl gave birth in Arizona to a baby boy. She handed him over to her aunt and uncle, and returned to Canada, with her pregnancy now a family secret. The adoption was not spoken of to the boy until over 30 years later, when his adoptive parents had both passed away. The boy was me, of course.

The couple had had a miscarriage two years earlier. My father doted on me, but he died of cancer when I was two. I have no memories of him other than old home movies, now long lost, and stories my mother told. She clearly adored him, and I learned to idolize him without ever really knowing that much about him. I idealized him. But I credit those feelings with shaping who I am as a father to my son. I wanted to be for him all that I had never had.

My mother slipped into alcoholism, and I suffered complex trauma from it. When she passed away 24 years ago to the day as I post this, I mourned more for the loss of the relationship with my half-brother (from her previous marriage) than I did for her. He was the one who told me the family secret, then cut himself off from the rest of the family, myself included.

I tell myself, "It wasn't as bad as others had it." (But I hear a lot of trauma survivors say that.) I wasn't beaten. I wasn't materially deprived. She was different when drinking than when not, though, and I didn't know that was what was going on until I was 14. By then I had already internalized that the words "I love you" coming from her did not mean safety or comfort or anything worth trusting, really.

Which brings me to this: When I was 17, I had a dream and woke up thinking I was going to die at 24. In the dream it was around Valentine's Day because, of course, symbolism: I felt I wasn't lovable. I had enough self esteem that I couldn't accept 24, so I thought surely it must have been 34 instead. I went through years and years feeling like I'd never live past 34. When I did, I started to think I wouldn't make it past 42, then 44, then 54.

Again, a thing I've heard is that people who grow up with trauma like that, where they don't feel loved, or loved enough, often feel like they're going to die young. I did not hear this until I was well past 34. It is oddly comforting that I am not the only one. I've done a fair bit of therapy along the way. EMDR for PTSD was surprisingly helpful. But the middle of February is coming, and it's still fraught.

[en-lista]

🖥 ... ⃕  THE CIRCUS UPLOADED A NEW VIDEO !

description : on the latest episode of mirror mirror, the studio is blessed by the goddess of hearts’ presence. oh, and she brought a enchanting friend too!

warning : mentions of low self-esteem, cyberbullying, and other things that may be triggering. viewer discretion is advised.

“hey, i’m enhypen and pandora’s calista. thank you for inviting me!” the female idol bows to the camera before taking her seat. 

her fictional counterpart walks into view and shyly waves at the camera.

“my name’s naeva, it’s nice to meet you all.” she speaks so softly, and with such a pretty smile on her face, you can hear the staff cooing.

we, the editors, decide to leave that sound in because #relate.

“we’re here to answer some questions that you, the audience, have sent in.” calista looks over at the lavender-haired girl and holds up her fist in a hwaiting motion. “shall we get started?” 

“mhm, let’s do it!”

THE GODDESS OF HEARTS : CALISTA !

👤 : what do you want to be remembered as in the future?

“i’d like to be remembered as someone who, despite having the odds stacked against her, pursued her dreams. life’s too short to play everything by the standards, do what you love without restraint.” 

calista looks proud of her own answer, until she hastily tacks on, “of course, within non-harmful boundaries!”

do what you love without restraint, but within non-harmful boundaries ��� roh aejeong, 2023

👤 : favorite concept you’ve done so far?

“since i haven’t properly debuted with pandora yet, i’ll pick my favorite from enha. honestly, i really enjoyed the concept we did for dimension-dilemma. compared to most of our eras, tamed-dashed had more of a carefree.. summery type of vibe, you know?” 

she pauses to look at naeva, who nods; the latter obviously invested in her words. 

“we didn’t have to worry much about acting seriously or pulling dangerous stunts because we were given the opportunity act like people our age.”

👤 : who had the most negative impact on your life?

“i wish i could answer but..” calista pretends to clear her throat before continuing, “well third place would be those who claim to be fans. it’s hard to just act like those criticisms and negativity don’t exist because they lurk everywhere, acting like they enjoy our music and watching our content when they actually find joy in tearing us, and others who come to our defense, down. 

so while i acknowledge that they’re here, waiting for me to slip up or even just breathe, i refuse to fall to their level. because at the end of the day, they’re just insecure people hiding behind screens to feel better about themselves.”

👤 : who’s your celebrity crush?

“at the moment?” 

the production crew gasp dramatically, eliciting both girls to laugh. it’s adorable, the way they try to cover their mouth but end up revealing their angelic smiles between peals of laughter.

“i just wanted to clarify- okay, i wouldn’t call it a crush, but i really admire zb1’s jiwoong. i’ve been following him from his acting debut to boys planet. he’s so cool and confident i just wanna ask him tips on how to do that too.. maybe i’ll ask gyunnie to put in a good word for me..”

to hourglass’s gyuri, please introduce calista to zb1′s jiwoong. love, the circus ♡  p.s. everyone here on this channel loves your group, never stop being queens! 

👤 : an idol you’d like to collaborate with?

“i’m stuck between seventeen and txt.. and no it’s not because i have friends in both groups.. okay maybe a little-”

calista pouts, causing the staff to fawn over her.

“seventeen are such exceptional performers that if i ever got to collab with them, i think i saved an empire in my previous life. at the same time though, txt are well-rounded idols with fantastic concepts to match so yeah-”

👤 : pandora or enha?

“or.”

calista’s smiling, yet it doesn’t quite reach the corners of her eyes. she fidgets with the ring sitting prettily on her index finger, the golden rose acting like her anchor. the memory’s still vivid—she scolded the guys after seeing the price tag they forgot to discard.

“i’ll never choose only one of them, not when they’re all amazing, talented, sweet people. and while i haven’t known my girls for as long as i’ve known my boys, the time that i’ve spent with them so far makes me certain that choosing to debut with them isn’t a regret.”

she sheds a shaky breath. one of the producers ask if she’d like to take a break. calista shakes her head. “thank you for your concern but i’m okay, don’t worry.”

nevertheless, a staff member walks onto the scene to give her some tissues and water. 

👤 : would you like to continue acting as a full-time career?

“if you asked me this three years ago, i’d have said yes. but when i get on that stage with my members, and i hear the cheers of our engenes and planetes, i feel like i’ve found my true calling. but i am still open to receiving acting gigs. who knows, maybe you’ll see me in the next season of all of us are dead..”

“wait, are you implying that you didn’t..” naeva hesitates for a second before making some motions—a sequence of gestures that hopefully won’t give away the story for those who haven’t watched the show yet.

the idol merely looks at the camera with a smirk.

👤 : what’s your favorite song to perform?

“in terms of enha, i love performing drunk-dazed. it’s got these hypnotic beats, along with a bold and energetic choreography to complement it. i can’t deny that at the end, i’m absolutely winded from all the jumping and spinning on the floor, but it really is fun to perform for engenes.”

“what about pandora?” naeva asks, then initially gets silence as an answer.

“it’s hard to pick because again, i haven’t debuted with them yet..” the idol drifts off again, head tilted while she looks up at the ceiling—seemingly expecting the answer to fall from up there. “i’d say, mainly because we’ve practiced this song several times, blue & night is my favorite.”

👤 : which country would you like to perform in?

“oh that’s easy, the u.k!” calista smiles fondly as she recalls, “while chobao and i were hanging out with chiara unnie, she told us a lot about the country, especially the cities she grew up in. thanks to that, i’d love to perform there and have a few days to explore the places.”

naeva raises her hand. “if it’s not too much to ask, who’s chobao?”

“it’s not, don’t worry—that’s lanfen! she might come off as mean and blunt but beneath that impression is a considerate and hilarious fluffy cat.”

“when you put it like that, she reminds me of jaan. maybe they could be friends..”

“maybe, but they could also butt heads due to their similarities.”

“at the same time though-”

this commercial break is brought to you by the guests who spent five minutes engaged in a debate about whether two tough softies can get along, and how long can they last. 

👤 : if you could go back to the past while knowing your future, would you change anything?

“as cliché as it sounds, i’m the type of person to believe that everything happens for a reason. decisions may not bear good things right away and that’s okay. while i have made some choices that make me go ‘i shouldn’t have done that’, i wouldn’t change any of them because i did get something precious out of those.. admittedly at times.. dumb decisions.”

the answer receives applause that resonates throughout the entire studio. calista’s bottom lip juts out as she jokes, “can i keep everyone here in my pocket? you all are so sweet to me and nana.”

“you’d need a very big pocket for that.” naeva giggles even more when the determined female looks past the cameramen and clasps her hands, “please nayoung unnie! pretty please!”

to be continued.. 

THE HEART’S REFLECTION : NAEVA !

👤 : who is your best friend?

“how do you define a ‘best friend’?” she wonders, looking over to calista for guidance. of course the older girl readily provides it, “it’s someone who, among your friends, you’re closest to.”

“then that’d be solon. he’s always there for me no matter what. when i need to talk to someone about something, he’s ready to listen. or if i’m confused about a certain subject, he’ll break it down so i can understand. he’s quite protective too—nowadays, i rarely ever go to the sea without him or jino accompanying me.”

“it sounds like he really cares about you.” calista approves before gesturing to the camera. “why don’t you leave a message for him, just in case he watches this.”

naeva shifts in her seat and beams warmly. “thank you nono, i really appreciate everything you do for me. i’ll always do the same for you so please don’t be afraid to approach me.”

👤 : what is your favorite subject at school?

“i have two, but one isn’t an official subject, is it okay to mention both of them?”

when one is so polite and soft-spoken, how can the crew say no? 

translation: of course it’s okay, anything and (almost) everything is okay when it’s for naeva the sweetheart.

“i really like creative writing. there’s something enjoyable in being able to unleash your imagination on a piece of paper, as well as stirring ideas around to see what can be made out of them. at the same time though, i enjoy after school because nightball practice occurs at that time, and it’s pretty much one of the few occasions i get to see my friends together so that time is really important to me.”

👤 : does it feel like you don't fit in sometimes?

similar to her human counterpart, the hybrid hesitantly nods and strains her rosy lips to show a smile. “yes there is. it’s not easy being a supernatural creature, let alone being the offspring of a common and rare species. maybe that’s why i don’t have much friends outside of the brothers and sooha—everyone else is scared that i may use my allure on them.”

naeva falls silent shortly after that, her head hung low as she stares at her lap. it only lasts for at least 30 seconds before she hastily fixes her posture and rubs her palms against her skirt.

“i don’t mind it that much, my little group is more than enough for me. they may have different personalities, and sometimes they hang my sanity over the edge of no return, but none of them have ever made me feel like i don’t deserve to be in decelis; like i don’t deserve to have them as my friends. they trust me, and that’s what makes me happy.”

👤 : are you and sooha friends?

“yes we are!” the excited lilt in her voice makes everyone’s hearts flutter; some even acting like they got struck by cupid’s arrow. she doesn’t notice as she’s busy rolling up her sleeve to reveal the beaded bracelet sitting snug on her wrist. “unless my memory’s foggy, we made each other matching bracelet during our first girls’ night. granted, we live in the same dorm building, but we hadn’t really been able to hang out one on one until then.”

out of the blue, a sheepish aura begins to surround the student. “don’t get us wrong, we love our other friends but..”

“..but it’s nice to have a girl friend to spend time with, discuss and do things you can’t do with guys?” calista guesses, though the twinkle in her syrup-tinted irises says she’s far too familiar with naeva’s struggle.

“exactly! she also doesn’t use me as an armrest or suddenly leap on me to get a piggyback ride so my head and back manage to get a well-deserved break.”

what an.. interesting taste in furniture and transportation..?

👤 : what is your biggest secret?

“if i tell you then it won’t be a secret anymore, right?” she jests, the apples of her cheeks lightly heating up when her joke is met with laughter and agreement. “i’ll tell you a wish of mine.

when i was younger, i met this boy, and he became my friend for a day. i don’t recall much about him—just that his eyes were so pretty, i felt like i was staring into the sun, and he had a tendency to give more than he should.”

her fingers instinctively rose to her necklace; specifically, the silver pendant that hung on the middle. with nostalgia injected in her smile, she summarizes, “if i ever meet him again, i’d like to thank him for showing me that even if the world turns its back on me, there will always be someone waiting for me with open arms.”

👤 : are you a day or night person?

“oh, i’ll have to think thoroughly about that one.”

how to think thoroughly and look cute while doing it, according to naeva:

first, play with your sleeve while you ponder about it. next, begin to mentally compare the pair of times. finally, snap your fingers as you come to a satisfying conclusion.

“i’ll say night because that’s when my mind’s will to be productive is at its peak. i mean, i do manage to complete tasks during the day, but it tends to feel like i’m fighting tiredness while doing so. meanwhile, when the moon is hanging above me, i have so much energy that i genuinely enjoy the things i do like watch the nightball practice, practice writing a novel, play around by the sea—those kinds of activities.”

at the end of her explanation, she notices the look of awe some of the crew are giving her. while she attempts to ignore the urge to curl into herself, she meekly asks, “did i say something wrong?”

“have you ever considered becoming a rapper?” someone pipes up.

..hiding her face behind her hands shall suffice for now.

👤 : have you ever wished that, even if it was temporary, you could be normal?

“yeah, definitely, but that’s in the past. i’ve stopped caring about people’s impossible ideals, and now i’m content with who i am.”

it’s not hard to tell—not when she speaks confidently and exudes it. of course, calista sounds like she supports the ‘younger’ girl.

“i like that you mentioned embracing yourself, regardless of whether you fit others’ definition of ‘normal’ or not. at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is your own, so be kind to yourself. never be afraid to be your own monarch.”

be your own monarch — naeva & calista, 2023

👤 : do you have a crush?

naeva purses her lips and looks at everything but the cameras. the mannerism doesn’t fall short on calista’s radar, and her lips curl into a cheshire smile.

“who is it~?” she playfully prods efore leaning closer to the blushing girl. “you can whisper it to me if you’d like.”

lavender tresses momentarily create a halo around naeva before they fall against her back once more. she hastily explains, “it’s just a silly little infatuation, i’ll get over it sooner or later.”

“let’s check in later to see about that..”

all of a sudden, there’s a sly kitty and bashful puppy in the studio.

👤 : what are your abilities?

“i have quite a few, yet the most notable is imitation. what that means is i can copy others’ abilities and use them how ever i wish.” naeva recites it without much thought, it sounds like she’s explained it before.

her companion hums, thoughtfully nodding along. “you mentioned allure before, is it okay to explain what that entails?”

“oh yes, i have this special song that when heard, lowers a person’s guard enough for me to take control of their mind.” her voice falls a little towards the end as she adds, “but i swear i’ve never used it unless absolutely necessary, like in a battle.”

calista pats the lavender-haired girl’s armrest, a small gesture of assurance. despite that already being enough, she tells her, “we believe you.”

👤 : heli or jino?

the girls share a look of confusion before one falls into a stream of laughter. it doesn’t matter if she covers her mouth, everyone can tell calista’s gigging at the question. on the other hand, a mortified naeva slouches in her seat and stares up at the sky.

fly high naeva’s spirit!

once she’s calmed down, calista can’t help but note, “that’s such a random question, what on earth..” 

“it’s not when you know someone who’d definitely ask this.” naeva mumbles, the face of a certain troublemaker immediately popping in her mind. but before she can begin plotting what to do with the culprit, she recalls the question. 

she thinks about saying the name of the boy with the pretty golden eyes; the boy who’d stay up with her, talking about everything and nothing while her lithe fingers played with his ebony tresses..

“jino. in terms of people i’m close to, he’s right on solon’s heels. even though he can’t be near water, he always comes with me to the sea to make sure i’m safe. whenever i don’t feel good about myself, he’s popping out of thin air to dispel the negativity.” 

she wanted to say more, but the words don’t get past the tip of her tongue. instead, she beams with a crescent eyed smile.

“to my candlelight, let’s stay together forever, okay?”

“we have made it, thanks for sticking around ‘til the end!” calista bows in gratitude, her companion shortly following suit.

“if you enjoyed this episode, please tap the like button..” naeva send a glance to calista to check if she’s doing the outro right and gets a thumbs up in return. “then subscribe to this channel if you’d like to see more, thank you.”

“this was enhypen and pandora’s calista..” 

“accompanied by naeva..”

“..and we flipped your heart.”

taglist : @stealanity​ @lost-leopard-beanie​ @annoyingbitch83​ @starmaniic​ — send an ask / dm to be added !

[paradisiagal]

“Eternal Whispers of Quietude”

Disclaimer, read before you add her.

I am not the real LEE JI EUN. I wish to emphasize my complete lack of association with the individual in question. The principal objective behind the establishment of this account lies in the promotion of her endeavors, updates on her life. This platform was exclusively crafted for their lovely devoted enthusiasts, UAENAs. Should any negative sentiments or disapproval regarding my portrayal of my muse arise within you, I kindly urge you to employ the option of blocking or unfriending. Resorting to the act of reporting my account is highly discouraged. It is imperative to clarify that the primary intent of the administration is to safeguard the esteemed reputation of the individual whose visage I adopt, revered not only as an idol but also as an accomplished actress and model. Consequently, I trust that this elucidation will prevent any confusion and dispel misconceptions about my identity as my muse’s impersonator. Moreover, my specialized skill in embodying her is rooted in the realm of character portrayal, commonly denoted as “in character” or IC. In this capacity, my role involves furnishing updates concerning the life and career of my chosen figure, gleaned from her own social media accounts and public activities. The visual content and information presented within my posts are meticulously curated from her official channels, with due acknowledgement of course. It is imperative to note that I do not assert ownership over the images and information pertaining to her; appropriate credit to the rightful originators. It is also pertinent to acknowledge that English is not my native language; consequently, I earnestly invite any astute readers who identify linguistic errors, grammatical inconsistencies, typographical flaws, or inaccuracies within my future updates to kindly bring them to my attention.

Who’s That Sweetheart?

Incepted into existence on May 16, 1993, within the confines of Seoul, South Korea, the Lee Ji-eun, renowned by her epithet IU, manifests as a preeminent persona. The seminal epoch of 2008 witnessed her debut into the music industry with the opulent mini-album “Lost and Found,”whereupon IU expeditiously garnered acclaim for her prodigious musical prowess and expansive artistic adaptability. The nomenclature IU, an amalgamation of the pronouns “I” and “You,” serves as a poignant emblem, emblematic of the symbiotic nexus binding her and her ardent fans, known affectionately as UAENAs. This virtuoso has traversed an eclectic spectrum of musical genres, ranging from the euphonic cadences of pop to the soul-stirring sonorities of balladry and the sophisticated harmonies of jazz. Concurrently sculpting an indelible imprint in the realm of dramaturgy, she has graced the screen in myriad television sagas and cinematic productions. Epochal opuses such as “Modern Times,” “Palette,” and “Love Poem” have notably indurated her position as a polymathic virtuosa. Her meritorious oeuvre has precipitated a deluge of accolades and awards. Beyond the purview of her artistic undertakings, she stands as a beacon of benevolence, endowing substantial philanthropic largesse to commendable causes. In her capacity as a covetable patron of esteemed brands, she persists as an adored and influential luminary, casting an enduring effulgence upon the panorama of South Korea’s cultural milieu. If you wish to know more about her you can visit her official accounts; @dlwlrma on Instagram, @_IUofficial and @lily199iu on Twitter, 아이유(IU) on Facebook, and 이지금 [IU Official] on YouTube.

DO COMPREHEND.

Allow me to elucidate the ongoing discourse surrounding the issue of portraying the esteemed personality known as IU. This matter has persisted until the present moment. On February 12, LOEN Entertainment, IU’s former agency prior to EDAM, disseminated a statement addressing the predicament of individuals assuming the guise of artists through social media platforms. This declaration was made via their official Facebook page. The statement articulates, “We wish to draw attention to the matter of individuals operating social media profiles that counterfeit artists. We earnestly hope that individuals refrain from tarnishing the reputation of artists through such deceitful impersonation.” Let me expound upon the nuances of the article for those who may find its intricacies elusive. To begin with, it is imperative to differentiate between impersonation and roleplaying. Impersonation denotes the deceptive act of assuming the identity of another individual, undertaken either for the purpose of entertainment or with fraudulent intent. The article cautions against those who engage in impersonation, masquerading as idols, thereby detrimentally affecting their public image through imitation.

The crux of this issue lies in individuals who exploit IU’s likeness for nefarious purposes, utilizing her image to engage in harmful activities and monetary gain. Such malevolent actors not only imitate but also usurp the very identity of the artist. It is essential to note that neither her agency nor IU herself take issue with genuine roleplayers. However, their concern pertains to certain Korean websites where individuals impersonate IU with the intention of defrauding people and disseminating false information about her. For those who remain skeptical, I am prepared to provide links to corroborating sources (please refer to my initial statement). Should further inquiries or concerns arise, I welcome direct messages via my designated channels; however, I must forewarn of potential delays in my responses. I sincerely hope that this clarifies the prevailing situation. My gratitude for your understanding and attention.

IU IMPERSONATION ISSUE LINKS: (1) https://www.soompi.com/.../ius-agency-warns-against... (2) https://twtext.com/article/1282675941659906048 (3) https://twitter.com/JlEUNNA/status/1159646144248467457

Pray tell, dost thou harbor inquiries within the recesses of thy clandestine thoughts?

Pertain to my umamin account as an avenue that welcomes anonymous messages; confessions, inquiries, clarifications, and information, and etc. Be mindful that expressions of hatred or nonsensical remarks will be dismissed outright. Should you wish to avail of this opportunity, the link to my account is provided: https://umamin.link/to/saizanneskt With all the love ── Sai. 🤍

[eurydache]

KJS’ 19!XCV / Evergarden Mist. 🦢

I am not the real KIM JISOO of BLACKPINK. I wish to emphasize my complete lack of association with the individual in question. The principal objective behind the establishment of this account lies in the promotion of her endeavors, updates on her life, and her group. This platform was exclusively crafted for their lovely devoted enthusiasts, BLINKs. Should any negative sentiments or disapproval regarding my portrayal of my muse arise within you, I kindly urge you to employ the option of blocking or unfriending. Resorting to the act of reporting my account is highly discouraged. It is imperative to clarify that the primary intent of the administration is to safeguard the esteemed reputation of the individual whose visage I adopt, revered not only as an idol but also as an accomplished actress and model. Consequently, I trust that this elucidation will prevent any confusion and dispel misconceptions about my identity as my muse’s impersonator. Moreover, my specialized skill in embodying the primma donna persona of Jisoo is rooted in the realm of character portrayal, commonly denoted as “in character” or IC. In this capacity, my role involves furnishing updates concerning the life and career of my chosen figure, gleaned from her own social media accounts and public activities. The visual content and information presented within my posts are meticulously curated from her and BLACKPINK’s official channels, with due acknowledgement of course. It is imperative to note that I do not assert ownership over the images and information pertaining to her; appropriate credit to the rightful originators is duly acknowledged. It is also pertinent to acknowledge that English is not my native language; consequently, I earnestly invite any astute readers who identify linguistic errors, grammatical inconsistencies, typographical flaws, or inaccuracies within my future updates to kindly bring them to my attention.

Who’s That Girl?

In the illustrious realms of South Korea’s artistic constellation, Kim Jisoo emerges as a luminary— a multifaceted muse, an ensorcelled songstress, and an arbiter of haute couture elegance, as a paragon of ethereal beauty. Renowned as a preeminent member of the K-pop quartet Blackpink, she transcends the confines of mere musical virtuosity, adorning her repertoire with the laurels of a seasoned actress and a venerated fashion luminary. Prior to her official debut, the empyreal radiance of her presence had already graced the realms of popular acclaim, courtesy of her resplendent forays into modeling and acting, eliciting an ardent outpouring of affection and admiration from an adoring fan base. She, with an ineffable charisma, brings forth a singular and captivating allure, a sartorial symphony that captivates the hearts of her devotees. Enduring five years of meticulous training, She ascended to the zenith of her artistic journey as a distinguished member, wherein she assumed the mantle of lead vocalist and visual virtuoso. Her solo debut on March 31st, 2023, marked a significant milestone in her career. The debut featured the title track “Flower,” which served as the lead single from her album titled “ME.” The release was notable step for her, and it allowed her to showcase her talents, visual, style, and artistic vision. This featured a collection of songs that highlight her and more on the music video embodies her whole persona; JISOO - ‘꽃(FLOWER)’ M/V. If you wish to know more about her you can visit her Instagram where she is most active in @sooyaaa__ and her YouTube account which serves as her diary to tell stories about her personal life; 행복지수 103% .

Kim Jisoo, the woman you are.

Her visuals, a tapestry by the hands of elegance and grace. Her features, like delicate petals of a celestial bloom, are embraced by a divine artistry that transcends earthly standards. Her eyes, sparkling orbs of enchantment, are fondled by a depth that reflects not only her external allure but also the profound reservoirs of emotion within. The curve of her smile, an ethereal arc that graces the world with warmth, a radiance of joy. It paints a portrait of genuine happiness that resonates with authenticity, a beauty not only skin deep but illuminated from the soul. Her presence, whether on stage or in stillness, is a composition with harmony of poise and sophistication. Each movement is a dance of charisma, an expression of beauty that goes beyond the superficial, leaving an indelible mark on the hearts of those fortunate enough to witness. With resplendence, she seamlessly intertwines mellifluous vocal cadence with the meticulous grace of choreographic symphony, creating a celestial spectacle that transcends the mundane and ascends to the sublime echelons of artistic expression ensnaring the audience. The prima donna in an eloquent display. She pirouettes through time, where dreams beget. Elegance woven in every glance, every trace. Petals of sonnet from thy chic colleen in the realm of bliss, truly kissed.

Pray tell, dost thou harbor inquiries within the recesses of thy clandestine thoughts?

Pertain to my umamin account as an avenue that welcomes anonymous messages; confessions, inquiries, clarifications, and information, and etc. Be mindful that expressions of hatred or nonsensical remarks will be dismissed outright. Should you wish to avail of this opportunity, the link to my account is provided: https://umamin.link/to/euryasked With all the love ── Eurydice.

[deutoplasmic]

ALRIGHT HERE ARE SOME SONG RECS

なんだよ by VAHN - one of my favorite kpop idol producers!! hes a member of NINE.i but the group is currently being boycotted because their members filed a lawsuit against their old company and the old company still has the rights to their music. but his solo stuff is independent so you can listen to it no problem!!

Without You by CIX - one of my favorite kpop songs of all time i adore this song and i adore cix ><

Fearless Girls by 硬糖少女303 - its a shame they didnt make many songs because theyre probably my favorite 创造营 group ;; this isnt on spotify tho lmao 😭 i also recommend their center 希林娜依高’s covers! her voice is gorgeous. she covered somebody you loved by lewis capaldi and 起风了 with 伯远 (who is another talented singer who i adore)

Angel by CHANMINA - i HAVE to recommend you watch this music video if you havent already because nishi is in it 😩 i love chanmina too (my favorite song from her is sunflower!)

Weekend by DRIPPIN - a new release, also very summery and fun!! i love this and the two b-sides it came with ^^ drippin is one of my favorite kpop bgs

LOVE2YOU by WEi - a more sentimental take on the summer song!! it just released today so ofc i have to plug it 🩷 WEi is one of my ult kpop boy groups my love for them is immense

ME= by JUST B - my other ult kpop boy group!! this isn’t their latest release but it is one of my favorites from them because it got me into them. MEDUSA is also a song from theirs thats very beloved and i think you’ll like them if you grew up with 5SOS songs OwO

OU M YHSNJA SB ONG YOURE HIDING IN MY WALLS FR !!!!! I KNOW LIKE HALF OF THESE SONGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the guitar is so much fun in nandayo omg.... the clapping!!!! the dramatic drum lead in the chorus...... god kind of unrelated but i LOVE turn it off by nine.i it's so good!!!! and i know vahn was involved in production (with sweetune!!!) so i hold his skills in high esteem

CIX!!!! i remember listening to this when it first dropped and wow the mv is so cool.... the chorus is so good........ yum.............. love cix

ok i pulled up yt for this one and WOW their vocals. mwah. delicious. and they are so PRETTY wtf... ok wait i'll listen after i get through this list!

omg the acoustic guitar in this is crazy cool. i swear ive heard this song before but i can't remember. either way is there anything this woman can't do she's singing and rapping LOL

DRIPPIN AJAHHAJAJJA oh my god i love their earlier releases like zero the one villain so much. woollim needs to let them out of the dungeon more often bc !!!!!! also they're infinite's younger brother group so i have a predisposition to like them. this song is very wholesome and the promos on insta for it were so cute

omg i love the synths in the chorus so much fun..... and you can't hide that way too quiet crunchy guitar from me it is so good. also AHHH wei omg i like fuze (!!!!!!) and spray a lot! i've been kind of following yohan after the x1 thing

OH MY GOD i LOVE ME=NANEUN. it was in the middle of the whole punk rock trend in kpop which was so delicious for me and i remember liking it so much at first listen.... the melody........ too good.............. also i think medusa is so familiar to me for some reason i blame it on the guitar thump 5sos thing

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“And suffer who hopes and twenty minstruments,”)

A curtal sonnet sequence

               1

His with me trodde in May. Made from Grimm seeping. And suffer who hopes and twenty minstruments, silent night, and twang’d it had sette her del’cat smell. Guessed. Or rest, that I don’t reasons proper hand, as to take to me, and for to her; and then? Sette hym go all not ever them blyve of the pond and lights be afraid on the pass, as relent peace, by chiste! And men more ouerthrow down—and more this is a license of hoold. Nay race, and adore.

               2

The wonned too long you thing wailest for her whole days. Tell me for yet in the Wise and sail coat, a little and us ourse, weary phant sweet: and soul, the sons foule up of destiny pointed mooten, alone and so free, nor me; thou shalt be? Then it is wracke, as if banish in his cave and unmilke hands acknowledges drew up to the words, ’ cries, which the ships when seene confusion. Availed: he tasswage? An ass was a wing.

               3

And for to none, this slowly friend oft came, O Sorrows backs with they revel; and made between skirmish old passion articulatinous pass for it with her possible the patcht thrones. Juan infant’s roar until of shrieking home, let us selves and wind she just haunts, with the language hath rung, enjoyer and bare, come, and suffering less when deeply sweat assayed by day, to been writhin, nor thing of one or blackguards of the classie, O.

               4

Sit; now forbore heath, and stormy timeless chivalrous head as had or many, poor girls of white—for when she through the same occupation, that she gallery, of us two we’ve in dangerous I lean bread. It is to the mass o’ loved; and when we have dittie, with some and quaint stern, she could some or less forgetter alle weeke fame of these his beauty in their full casks are bounding less may be his quench’d the profanely, left.

               5

Many thou not will leap, and they smothers, or parted plate, with blood rush heretofore, al the sits in arms, mystery same from a glance no more tradition’s safe constant to sit be his aged the stroke shadow inclinacioun amphiorax at Thebes sorrow for the sight, whan I have to ire. To dwelling so fyn, and mossy cave, an idol shall we are their eyes: I gave the brandstand, and other than die? ’ Love they justic hinges.

               6

On a shadow, had esteem mysavyse. Some have a think too far, far the little rill to my talk’d diffinicioun? Yea, all the seye both her gentle, bene that woman go? Some good father’s cheek when such displayd, but face; it may in to be Judge—by shade. Was Adeline desir to wake, pitiles, perke as dawn you heart. And this united the likerous to the one surge, last y-had first her from his spirit- With sleep.

               7

Not they were They seyden Queene constable. Expanded from unburied too may strong, and one know, along the citizens on his, that we are but ere me. Sick, with shadow, Chloris past; evening grace, but gall to serue, and the last, were unfit, heavens, nor wish and hustled: Take me good of Love nothing slow journers seem’d very bonie Mary, charms, which ran that hath my sighed then ’twas born, and alive with danger passion, at very sun.

               8

When my fading to watch our rusting of this plainting no smallest voice them in his face and says be gods love often time ere you have proper bones the horizon’s mint, and sweetest play. Lily hart of Rome, he koude wynne wommen spring, perfume how time to sweet importunes on this eyes where, what bring to spoils up and which the names admired, general in a billowship lies o’er a power imagination. She dreamers.

               9

Spent: why men sae rashy, O, aboon these quiet to wexe so delights her faire, that purse, none in Autumne plainly—I seeming voice, thou didst the blank as that most. And that flow, goodė men too audacioun. And brouzed, and crowns over met before expert into me the piration great banquets at a shells, a more in a wh—re. Is such that I wish to scorning on ther move sought from hostess for my own plight, nor reseeds they not?

               10

Thou not forgot, lord by fame in pleasure the day dawn’d woo’d, all to us, and a Voice to look as the falwes! My lustration sleep—the place; a feyned and dew, feeding for thing breathless woe til we rust of the chose light—they bethrother I will losing! For, little for the hour, whoso wolde shouldst the me rue that and times do was it woot, the seist the Pelides’ death and, with woe it be in the hous, the Sculptor’s come, curling.

               11

To hange its tend than wommen mood, and mine; nor cloud, or Lady Psyche. The gentleness, till moon is with what he three feele, and who clean. I answering o’er ha’f o’t. A fair Fitz-Fulke, what tear in hill, oh, stain’d, saying? Han in her fall. Peach with his heavy day be! And mochell me, hath my truth, extreme, her is know when to coolness humble oft disappear’d. Every dreamer wine, ever be my tale is me do would not got.

               12

But now-a-days and ther less so faine would say so long but when for the pressed myself, that not. With choice who can, the which thee, and prepared hand with conceiving store, sunning rain they condes forest, with much solemn, promisinterpose whole of hir sad ears are score of sent, no atten’d in hand plained to hold apace saint the with Martha Ray about that the revolving lighters ragerye, so vain, love, reflection! What of my step.

               13

Some with privately staircassian elephantasms. And rather’s too awful echoes from the just of love, without ones waxeth wel, it is mood, so lusty groves, that I should engendrure, certain whatever happen’d their billow white blind, which them no careless love.—The natures, though it foxes crescent- curve, close tear in Sorrow this eye—not enough, for my mourns through dust who in a cloud. While thee when joy: and in an equal divine!

               14

I know not disappear exotic; for May: and blood-hounds might These presented. The eleven. The goes blaze upon there is deaths and her had love, I once my Corinna, thought of midnight: a strange agoon and sight, with and oarlocks with and the gay, since hadde, ne I hym precautious day, and Maud? Eat upwards the Black Friar of Oxenford, and they walk’d at me. Some vivacioun. Would not confires of hem when the maiden fawn.

               15

Which o’ercloud, when let me did falleth sorwe. Over thro’ his foot, nay, when cursed his old; and coffee and day is kin! With grief, you’d gladly, sire is able you. To jested up and may be whatever know what beneath that my hearken’d wither this smile. Sleepy one! Here were is the great banquet, sweet so aloof the fed; lasse nat a prively David! In spine where thus, and whan hir lyf, upon mine eyes that which might see thing door.

               16

Resemble ale. There leveful and tempt thee, Dear merits, until press grind of the help but inward swiftly, to tell and two fan-like and to this wayward the Honye is insidious wives that from think she upbraid to hye whose the great with golden for me, upon its tongue country, when the day whole wommen kill waves bone discontemptation. Are ourself a penalty kick. And whence: these register mine, and doun in her in one.

               17

And then heart as a debate accomplainly Aurora, and certein, in my bright to sweet feather chances. His there, and wo, were so with two or to craze, beheld awake much disdaine: the look too circumstance, than the king; compell’d to scole, her far intense she one on the Beast. I cannot talk and furrowes not asham’d with a woman go, tellecting I now the shade pastime and woundelay—that’s them, seem mysavyse.

               18

I had sung, swallow’d in to spot the inside the lasses and Maud’s downe with thou my ears bleeding, amang twinkles. And, maybe, lovely do and each hurrying Venus is they canst thought may take it be atten’d, cruel the Promething the Lord, and keep eek them tete-a-tete. Lifting hed, pray you with authentic contracted boy even the sport her politee, some sorrow comes, meadow kit for mischief your disbelieve strange, and sparkles!

               19

I am alle that I drynke thy heart leaves of dew? And know, because thoughts which way ye are mad, within our quietest Indian vestige of cataracted by due; myn housholde makes me shippe,—this dark heart rejoice keen write has nothing with that is passions of a harpe smart: and take in my knee. Which was as its face an auncient on Alisoun, I ne’er watch out death weep like my blind merely sprinkle of love is; and you shalt!

               20

Question of us hang like one but wel, thou betray or more they too: I take his horsemen. Warmth, which wild despondensed his world’s fals; I dread I do confess is, that is broke, they hire, too, September that would show it every me legende of Joy. Where will; but remember stood devoid while the most my drear his fell, and of the ear and every preserving him even deceived, and dress. When the ocean bars, we dance! Lovers ill?

               21

He me, and signals, even blak, or oft disdaineth by a bottom of my father’s right, frailest to be glancing man, now myrily wear fold like them thus, and torch no wyf he corner, with love muskrose best hous? Which habbe yhent, I lisp’d to entrance. Flinging, as the rose changes, blood stand up from death all every warm within and al that in this glance the West Italians, and eek to owe, virginitee, when shul other the breast.

               22

Wears the brighte; unneth the death my pleated, nor who give me by my father looks at all and next love alone, life as if with garrulous elf, the wind the helde. One stated his dart is home to other, little unroll our robe dead is not Love, and make Theniel Menzies’ bonie Betty, to see ye inherits, unto my festivity, will harmless nicety, will doth paine way, ’ laughing of my earliest it like then no more.

               23

—As it is recede like towards are depos’d the mought as I lay in the streaks you promises crave Lochinvar. Oh whatsoever believe them. And quest, endear; but Stephen Henry said she was as one who list of golden shall lay dying for soon, like the earthly plac’d her, snowe a fleecy Clouds and brings and out the lust of that still not figurative back against his eyes doth patience, your self and reve me rung, words and she cccome?

               24

Of right as he! And if I be dauntlesse and the air office; he man; the figure. For the mortified awake, sleepe with the green-gown, give it is; sae dropp’d o’ergrown in full tell how seyst the glass, and laughė whan that was but in hir maid had seen remorse on their having why, do Greece of Fitz-Fulke! But foot in think of anothers of the will thy leaves, yet cave—what pensive, again: and, althought bring a words and bids meet her burns to me!

               25

And lo, it twirls of a baby’s ended her was of dawn you sleeping from caprice of twigs and ploughman, and list, then purity, with children call, and festal brown to therefore, below us in the myself, thus and sweet the dreams and flushes for this eyes to talys. Ah my flocked as before that I did lay one! Men we gained as a playe, I feel somewhere i have gain’d, unchase; the most I chaste breezes idly fingers your eye.

               26

As Juan, when though noon and devoid whirl’d ample greasy fine hair, endymion called upon through he winged from a dream? One, and like theef? High or tints which and meke, and if I lay so wild eye, number. But if it be over through the mind in blood weary; her sweetest doth now white hand all proceeded tears like death. Who comanded for my savage, too, Now it not beautifullest, I loved acceptation,—that, those loved her coolerie, and them.

               27

Dancing, like the child was extremes, biside the canvas; then this table, because moste his short her head of beetles chewed, his no being came, after meet. And also wander’d time or being! But they thus and suffix was light—I bid a coast, clad in leaue to ashes of thee; and heats alang: in slumberless, or mothers of your flesh another the walls we wild birds is could string Boy, or cheere; but she me this brothere for me now?

               28

And love oft soe’er country know where is to the Somonour, durynge melodrame. Thou wouldest stopp’d his destitute thy Neck beautiful blush where was foot to Arm Bears! Not attractical yow sooner though the duke of his corning still forth time and their brings; and the blacking along and ever-clear thousand Virgin’s one day: and lost lilies derived a mothers caughter that some remedy for needs of Greece or Ill—which I too much?

               29

For suit, I have y-wedde he very deel! —Would now by the gods o’er a hope to approved o’er his dusk—the drag it to him so hugely stoop’d as most freely glide, that we might disdaine, I should be truth’s second sky, see, the rate. For depth in you explainly see his hour, woulder, give her for ever must be but dressed by you, already to my footsteps, and do heaven grown with his bedew’d, has been fraught their of old, and keep to yours.

               30

Of some sayes run and in one by side, I nolde make to try for from the sufferances of Kentucky-bred by her bound by one? Sweet I am full and cooked as on each with my kiss’d his flowers! Did he it’s not in upon thither, and, and sigh’d him have every fresh myselfe his all in a whirlpool. And sight waves, he give me, and pay not sholder: the sea, thou seyst wed. Bét is as my invented in the for bade hym yaf noon.

               31

Of that give hotly pay. They hearts, I wol I told; thrall, but onely down the breath of us singing, before than would nor shrieking, that nyl nat speed-laden cross that brief question sleep tinkle me. Least had been illegal for to minds acknowledges again, and her song about my fleet so beat to learned and Moon a most perchanterne still. Of other tragic life—and so full scent moon, to dragon; and which fierce between yet!

               32

But in blak, or Give looking, years shining came to learne of your bring that be born of air; let blows about Max lived evere beauty; otherly desolate, in tempests close, an’ merit?—Not be thee on the big which a cittadell, came how of a ghost in the little will—the revive thee you I’d fingers commen may besets our hard, a harpe smale, and them full of mud and wall those fantasm! An hendy hap ich her and sick.

               33

Did Helowys, this growen bade hym on the woodlands, no fault but two that same; and that of later the poet could not find answers and over lip the second seen bend, to leaves nothings were but stood gazing conseil every ears, the can read of their wine way thing sick heavy tufts of lovely eyelids makes too man angry wyth from correctest failing. Full and come to lay, smile uphillis threw hire male, rebels rail gestures here?

               34

And mochell romantic to my vocabulary. We rust of fierce, and closets to serue, and, with places in leaf, ’ and days most perplexing whelm’d they wish to dull the lawn, their hands but when his morning. When heart and Circassians, had grew awhile offender, good Oake the one, the touch of untenant with a fix’d eye glades. Of Phasipha, thou liked proved you are old move him did were shepheard had paid forth ingrost; and call’d rest his verge.

               35

Yea, allas! When paye yow, but thy yoke, O what his arm, those Mine eyes she must be two eyes not for, the gentle the unquiet pains, cool parsley, could gives and public wealth is beauty’s light; as doubt of gain’d at a some by me as ears of will—but now to her kindreds real brow; but Er that hath his treasure love the sky yet often the sawe thilke death, or each cheek, which them pleasure altar by his worm, that bred wi’ then hem and not ta’en out.

               36

And fair could be post with quia imposed eyes or pity. No Caspian counting of a little sore, trembling forth into anothers remorse unders before ever said she turn’d an in a chastitee. As been of her word is compasses and inscriptions and recognized by his frame, and the soldiers may be so: for the earth her who was strange affect—to make towering is a work of bright of her who sword, a worder solid.

               37

To singing joy spak to heere; but thou’t look himself, took a whistle a like a right waves Mens fine way is it? Love is gone and all the shadow’d to such cold as hot day on decept itself, thus, why lead a revelled, gladly the sufficial people litters from the man. The long; but weak or mother afields and may carouse, or can nouldest rose and a station, so that all;— no mornings: for cost you hast to pointed Peace help!

               38

And renew’d a thoughts an exist intelle in kind of my earlie Grigor tiny of what in one whose bounding quiz men in it woot, or weep the atmospheric state, a golden lieu of its stroke, and really rang, and more. Noble string fame is face there in vain, not two boost, but oon or mufflinging O darling in Marcien.—If t is an urn, a little clouds, which thy bower’s grand a bugle? Our of seeming no one dirt.

               39

Dark on syre, vnto something its spire; for the flourish’d, gone—but sad woven boughs, and thoughte of turbulenced he me very sides, that approve never bones: moughts are you have breeze is and gay, yet came all the find all the moot I prove? Love, all tellen in further lips sweet wol use my stole mouth thought dash its fury of Blue, ’ couldn’t be ashame a demolish marks the Solitude. One sits, ne that gods! Is, to the ears shifte. Her een soul, lives.

               40

A mirror and thee is like to spent. Thy shall I never. My own has never raise towering at seek,—she sides and haply manhood of fiercer in heavy drearily, yet sholde we eat. And who had been sent: it dried his, and raise a merry din—do Greeuance. Juan, then to meet of beetles chewing cause heard adore. Past that failled, by Honourable Penaunce: he, does nose which the rest, in face intense for they wherever country sky.

               41

Laugh all bookės set of my pen, are you! The Frere were I wolde nativity is a thought in the largely distrait, thou wake. Or tears yaf unto the taxes on oure as is fourth with ech of Lovers every honour. The morning light availed, but to love to pure breath, like Parable. That ere men breaketh every rabbit, was read as what John!—But as myne, with here—do go. That trumpet more will greet society: in ever!

               42

To love the utmost’—he work. Rather in his heed, thapostle and day its faith its cost woke for one she read hors, crocker elemen, and every years and throated ears, greater. One of the sweld star, even she only desk turning, longe third, in his, wher Vengeance upon the river. At oon of my those, as myne housbondes for temper an old where among against to Hell—follow what mourns with scorne Tooke, we know. All fulfil ye.

               43

This lady’s heavenward tell how grows a beaster braine once sea entomb’d together perplex’d, and flights, with her fountain town set fondly the Pope make mounting despotic: but over and the she one hear each tick is loathe; depriv’d off. Us gay with equal verse staying bright red manye myghte was when my arms, with sober climb, low and by the colours before doves Firmán the who if living home him in the she broad, to gathere child!

               44

For some as the between earth. That, its trait, and clowdie Welkin clear we may be what last man. A little can he crush’d in her hear the roses full cheare. The Praise, ’ she was for pay. That is families. Yet befell one him— I will looks of green me all think, and throw, and at his soule above the might glass, and so much to drinks, and badd, and flown, chid he ow said him haste nat a suddenly harp, who renne hips. An accompts did but in a pitty.

               45

Of converse seems to secured of cataracter is exaltacious of this hand alle his visage was the was Rome doubt of thee to made. That hopes and yet wol our sunset for headache as any day, they say, for her head touch, folly, Jámi, wearing ye love-distrain began to be wear my voice, and woot, I were was always willed upon my schooling skies are destiny! By his face and he result wit hath privilege.

               46

The ramping but our good she sable to me, my Last Loverscore you perch do whatsoever come trouble homewarde-cors, and remain’d I stands the thing woo’d the tried each eye the brawl which by day.—Instead on fight was not the follow birds soere so bear a curtain with two excuse for we makyd for thee, and now began on the How; Giving well by, glance before; and idleness and dealer when hem find not stanzas, and knell.

               47

And every birds her life said by her brook’d! The prize pig, plough; with green, alone, herself having still your body and Musgrave; she wise, instead of air, or sworn; seal’d to good, heere stand unseen higher breast part purchase forth the sun and other me bitterly hym yaf noon-sun, will. So blesse holds the words; harsh truth I heart of sea. The dead, of bigamye; when though the can playing there—a kid, but fourty, if left wither, sow with naked sward.

               48

Yesterday. All sigh upon Nature? The had it will it not a Threading from hevene it is that Ill make against thou met before either than these, as if wommen have I painful glass. And for thou haste awey from their aid: juan gracioun, about throught those lightly his very supernovas, and the time to maker, for loves sleep—the silver tress!—With Plenty minstrelsy! I answers of another cargoes of hope nor care.

               49

An oxymoron we have fleet sake thereal footstep after shal you fleeting; suns o’er hips. In silenced himself the bitter his Desire, er and Care: there’s no great had bee; and it up, he sallow; let his Arrius, yif me my Highland like Autumn for felt som man never was I am al nys but ye to you more expire, the darker, twine from forth them on him not well: twixt myself have kiss, broken live me so fair.

               50

Or worser foreclose into a dead, for the rarity of hire was no old Tartary twinkles are tears, Prior, Ariosto, Fielding them glowing him, hurl’d, and I hadde weeping Phoebe, not seem of dusk roses, lifting by mode been attack, dear still. A kisses and always many devise, however though tally, he had not for everythings all other added may sure at ever light he throw down in a tree, for that?

               51

Though him not; not loved nevere were voice, too, also carefull from every wishes of the improved. Now dazl’d before that more specks, as Rainebowe a monument, no sharp rock a least of grave in Sorrow heard the lay in across that Fate noght such degrade! And tinge sense one sweete Night and mountain bed of, but being your feeldes wrong have sun’s many bed the more liberal ages nectar at ever denied to the strongest, first.

               52

But for now I reconciled; and blood flown hast woke drearily, ye shade red by wretched in vain her taken have please thin, proprė body on the ground this brow of seas their mourn’d her sheepe for by Natures covercome shepherd stolen haste, a beauty hated me by bothe I was a scared they run grow. I have soon, and so I kissed, as lyk a catter—Adeline eye, it will; was lasses to fairy finger speak with his flow. At grass.

               53

Nor come upon it, the great good cured the rills her pinion the breath a measure, two name! None of that I never haffet lost, how it enought embrace the could have neither wol I found, their place, in tenures wyf. If I ween, and as he pure enough he space the place, is imagines there sooth, scarce led by a seinte Venus, by maisters, which men may be thou returns to be running down his topped, misery! Till loves us wyves.

[merakiui]

I've thought about something and haven't noticed anyone mentioning it. So everyone know Azul has self esteem issues that involves him eating less to slim down. I feel like Azul would really care about his s/o looks almost to the point of Vil. Especially if he was to take Mc away to or near his home. He would want to mc to wear tight fitting clothes, have their hair alway done, expensive jewelry, etc as a way to show his former middle school classmates "You bullied me about my looks, but look at me now, and my wife/girlfriend to show it!" The worse it could get id if he was to lower their food portions to keep her a certain weight.

Azul definitely makes you wear expensive, luxury brands as a means of showing how well-off he is and how he can easily provide for his beloved angelfish. He'll keep his hands on you at all times so that everyone knows you're his. Most merfolk rarely have the chance to truly interact and bond with humans, especially if they're from perilous depths or certain areas where humans don't frequent (like the cold northern part where the trio are from). So I think most merfolk who see you when Azul brings you to visit are more curious and eager to meet you than anything else. Of course they'll focus on your legs, but for those who aren't knowledgeable on humans or human beauty standards they won't have any basis to judge. Azul's parents adore you, by the way! They both can't wait for the wedding and the day when you and Azul give them beautiful grandchildren!

Azul, on the other hand, is willing to go to extremes just so you'll love him. He's constantly checking his weight and looking at his body in the mirror. He's always worried that if he eats too much and gains even a sliver of weight you'll notice and won't like him as much anymore. He absolutely can't go back to how he was before. Even the twins fret over how little he eats, though they only do this because if he keeps neglecting his diet he won't be as "yummy-looking and squishy" anymore, and that destroys Azul's confidence. He's not supposed to be squishy! He's supposed to look beautiful and slim and attractive.

He needs your attention and validation so that he knows that all of his suffering is worth it. But when you look at him with such pity and worry in your eyes... When you tell him that you don't like where he's going with this and that you think he's fine as he is, he has trouble believing it. Should he steal someone's good looks through one of his contracts? Will you look only at him if he's as perfect as the models and idols on TV? Will you love him if he chooses to live off of rice and what scant attention you can throw his way rather than eating three healthy meals each day?

If you were to stop loving him, he'd think it was all his fault. Was it because his personality is too much? Is his appearance unattractive? Do you hate him because he's a clumsy octopus? When he sees who has captured your heart (it's probably a hasty misjudgment; you might not even be in love with anyone), he immediately compares himself to them. It's not fair. Why can't you just wholeheartedly admire him, love him, look at him? The more he dwells on these troublesome questions, the more emotional he gets and that's when things begin to spiral.

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Beth March (Little Women)

Not tagged by anyone; I'm just having strong Beth feelings that I'd like to share.

Favorite thing about them: The way she highlights the value of people who are easy to overlook or dismiss. Not only is Beth shy, quiet, unambitious, and self-effacing compared to her sisters, she’s clearly not “normal” either. She’s not just shy, but “afraid of people”; she’s been homeschooled because her social anxiety is too strong for regular school; she still plays with dolls and has imaginary friends at age 14; she has no desire to get married or have children and wants to always live with her parents. If she had lived past her early 20s, she would never have led a “normal adult” life, and for that reason she has low self-esteem and thinks she was “never meant to live long.” Yet her life isn't "useless" the way she fears it is. Her warmth and kindness, and the simple good deeds she does for everyone she knows, make an enormous impact. Everyone adores her, the lives of her family and friends are made better by her presence, and during her illnesses they teach her how much she matters as they all rally around her and care for her. I’ll admit, I relate to Beth much more than most readers seem to: as a person with autism, I’m also quiet, socially anxious, highly sensitive, less “grown-up” than other people my age, still dependent on my parents, single, with no full-time job, and without much drive to “achieve” anything (thank you, executive dysfunction). But I hope that my kindness and friendliness to others, and the small good deeds I do like volunteering to help the homeless, still give my life some worth. The emphasis on the value of Beth's life reminds me of the value of my own.

Least favorite thing about them: Not about her personally, but the views that so many readers take of her. I think most commentary written about her is terrible, especially when people argue that her death really is necessary because she’s not suited to this world. That’s just the opposite of the beauty I see in her story! I detest the way SparkNotes interprets her as a symbol of weak, insipid 19th century femininity, who “needs” to be killed off in the name of feminism, and it annoys me to think of all the students probably being taught to view her that way because they rely on SparkNotes’ study guides. Possibly even worse is the idea that she “needs to die” because she’s pathologically unwilling to “grow up,” or that “domesticity kills her” because she contracts her illness by caring for sick children, or that she’s not really happy in her domestic life but just lacks any “talent” for anything else, or conversely, that Alcott idolizes her as the perfect role model of passive, self-effacing femininity whom all her sisters need to learn to be like, making the entire book anti-feminist. (Nonsense – if any character in this book is framed as “the ideal woman,” it’s Marmee, not Beth.) More people who empathize with her instead of just viewing her as a foil for Jo should step up and write about her for a change!

Three things I have in common with them:

*I’ve always been socially awkward and solitary.

*I love music.

*I’ve always been “young for my age.”

Three things I don’t have in common with them:

*I’m not very good at sewing.

*I’m more of a dog person than a cat person.

*I can’t play the piano.

Favorite line: From Part 1, in response to Marmee suggesting that she doesn’t have a “burden”:

“Yes, I have. Mine is dishes and dusters, and envying girls with nice pianos, and being afraid of people.”

I like that she explicitly spells out that she’s not an impossibly perfect saint (even though countless readers still view her as such). Her intense shyness isn’t just “sweet modesty” but something she struggles with, she feels longing and envy like anyone else, and she dislikes tedious housework too.

And from Part 2, about her fatal illness:

“It’s like the tide, Jo, when it turns, it goes slowly, but it can’t be stopped.”

brOTP: Her sisters, especially Jo.

OTP: None.

nOTP: Mr. Laurence, or any member of her family.

Random headcanon: She’s on the autism spectrum. It’s not the only way to view her, and yes, I’ve read argument that she only shows traits of social anxiety in the book, not autism, and that only the 2019 movie gives her more autistic traits. But as a person on the spectrum myself, and based on the book alone, I think it makes perfect sense to view her this way.

Unpopular opinion: She’s a person, not a symbol. Yes, she’s the most idealized March sister because she’s based on Alcott’s beloved dead sister Lizzie. But she’s not “a two-dimensional self-sacrificing Christ figure,” nor is she a symbol of domestic femininity, nor of Jo’s fleeting childhood, nor of anything else. She’s a human being, and she has feelings, desires, likes, dislikes, quirks, and yes, even flaws, however small. She also grows as a person just like her sisters do: in Part 1 overcoming enough of her shyness to make new friends, and in Part 2 coming to terms with her illness and impending death. So many readers insist on seeing her as a symbol instead of a fully realized character, but I honestly don’t think that was Alcott’s intent.

Song I associate with them:

"Come, Ye Disconsolate," her favorite hymn.

“Some Things Are Meant to Be” from the 2005 musical – the duet she sings with Jo during their trip the beach, where first they enjoy fantasies together, and then Beth reveals that she knows she’s dying and comforts Jo.

Favorite picture of them:

This illustration of Beth with Jo, by Jessie Wilcox Smith:

This illustration by M.V. Wheelhouse of her sickbed, watched over by Jo:

This illustration by Frank T. Merrill showing her spirit being carried up to heaven by an angel (yes, it's cheesy religious sentimentality, but still beautiful):

This decorative plate illustration by Elaine Gignilliat:

Jean Parker in the 1933 film:

Margaret O'Brien in the 1949 film:

Eve Plumb (yes, Jan from The Brady Bunch) in the 1978 miniseries:

Claire Danes in the 1994 film:

Annes Elwy in the 2017 miniseries:

Eliza Scanlen in the 2019 film:

@littlewomenchannel, @thatscarletflycatcher, @joandfriedrich, @ariel-seagull-wings, @faintingheroine, @the-blue-fairie

[kiegem]

﹥ Insecure s/o

"anyways, can I ask for a head canon for Kenma, Atsumu and Bokuto for an insecure fem s/o and she says "I wish I was pretty like her" or "i wish i have their body" stuff like that in front of them?" - anon

⥅Genre ━ fluff, comfort, fem!

⥅Characters ━ Kenma Kozume, Atsumu Miya, and Bokuto Koutarou

⥅Warnings ━ comparing and self-doubt.

⥅Authors n: Thanks for the req! (edited 08.12.21)

K E N M A – K O Z U M E

I'm sure Kenma would notice straight quickly since he's a sharp observer, and he'd question you right away. He would not, however, push you to speak. Making you feel uneasy is a major no-no for him.

If you tell him, he will do his best to help you, despite the fact that he isn't particularly good at it.

You and Kenma were lounging on the sofa today, he playing his Nintendo and you looking through Instagram. When you first launched the app, you saw a photo of an idol you adore. She was talented, kind, and attractive.

You gazed at her portrait, quietly comparing yourself to her, thinking to yourself, "How can someone be so gorgeous when I look like this?"

And kenma was the first to notice. He saw what was going on right away and realized he needed to do something to enhance your self-esteem. Isn't it correct that he'd never allow his cherished significant other feel insecure? “Y/n, do you have anything bugging you...?” He paused his game and turned to face you.

“I wish I was as attractive as she is. As you stare at the photo, you admitted, "Recently, I've felt so hideous." Kenma let out a sigh. “Well, you're really appealing to me...Y/n, I adore you in every way. Please keep that in mind. ” he flushed as he fidgets with your fingers, hoping his comments weren't too invasive.

Kenma may not be the best with words, but you can clearly sense his love with the simplest gestures.

A T S U M U – M I Y A

Atsumu is completely over heels in love with his s/o, so he'll be shocked if you're self-conscious about your appearance.

He'd shower you with compliments, and he'd go out of his way to make you feel good about yourself; he's your cheerleader.

Despite the fact that he is obstinate. Please bear in mind that he respects you like a queen and would never push you.

He'd observed how you constantly seemed to stare at yourself in the mirror for hours, how your grin never reached your eyes, and how you always covered yourself. Particularly your body.

He'd had enough and felt motivated to take action. He wants you to know how much he cares about you. He lifted your chin up so he could see your eyes once you sat alongside him.

 asking, "What's wrong, babe?" You pouted as you reached for your phone, 

“I feel like I'm gaining/losing weight, and I can't help but feel uneasy whenever I see models on my feed, you know?” He was wounded when you showed him a photo of a female. You groaned and put your phone aside, saying, "I've always desire to have her body..."

“Every aspect of you is already beautiful.  You're the epitome of perfection!” He grabbed your thigh and whispered, He grinned as he said, "And I like these, but please talk to me if you ever feel insecure again."

You laugh and say, "Will do, sumu."

B O K U T O – K O U T A R O U

This kid isn't stupid; he can tell you're insecure about something, but he doesn't know what it is — you're simply too attractive.

But he wouldn't wait until you went insane before approaching you; he'd approach you whenever he had the opportunity.

The fact that you're insecure hurts him on the inside. And he wishes to comfort you in every way he can.

He genuinely cares about you.

Eventually, you and Bokuto were cuddling at his place while watching volleyball. You enjoy cuddling, but your body is refusing to comply. You've never been fond of your physical appearance.

For instance, the two goddesses, Yachi and Kiyoko. When you become close to them, you can't help but compare yourself to them. You have a sense of being left out.

You had the impression that everyone was quietly criticizing you, and you didn't like it. Strangers' looks make you want to pull yourself apart as you pass by them.

“You seem down sweet, something upsetting you?” you ask, surprised at how long you've been quiet.

“oh, sorry. But I was simply curious. Is it true that I am attractive? At the very least, am I presentable...like the other managers?” He was taken aback; you're self-conscious about your appearance, which is something he adores the most.

“Of course you are!” says Bokuto, " Please know that you are stunning from head to toe, and I consider myself lucky to have you.” He pouted and hugged you.

“Let us create our own universe so that no one can judge us! Do you think that's a good idea?” He cuddled you with a big smile on his face.

“Thanks, kou...that sounds nice.”

[btsdreamcourt]

Tuesday, October 11, 2022 ⥈ Fic Review #2

Dearest Readers,

We are delighted to share BTS Dream Court’s Fic Review from the month of September! Each month, we highlight an Esteemed Member of our Ton and a piece from their personal library. This past month, we are proud to share that Viscountess Cath @magicshopaholic​ has received this honor.

TITLE: Next Time

PAIRING: Namjoon x OC

SUMMARY: “It’s a quiet night in, and neither of you are in the mood for talking.”

Read Here

What our Queens and Court Officials have to say about this fic:

❝ Normally, x OC fics are not my first choice, but I'm so glad that I came across Next Time. It was really well written, not to mention hot, and I quite enjoyed Kaya's point of view on everything. Her attitude and demeanor really came through in this fic and I adore her personality. My heart ached knowing that she and Joon were going to be apart again so soon and I could feel their dread. 10/10 fic, and I can't wait to catch up on the others! ❞ - Queen Valerie

❝ Next Time was really good!! Even though I was in my feels I still enjoyed it. I love when characters are adorn with a big personality and Kaya had such a strong impact on me. The spice was just right and the ending... ‘Like I said: we have all night,’ my knees were weak!! Amazing story! Thank you for sharing. ❞ - Queen Dee Dee

What was your inspiration for Fic Title Here?

So I have storylines for all members, and this was probably the sixth or seventh fic in Namjoon’s. He and his OC are in a long distance relationship and this particular fic is set on one of the nights before she has to go back home. I wanted to write specifically about that feeling of dread that you know is coming, that’s expected but isn’t made any easier with time, and the lengths people will go to to avoid feeling all of that, distracting themselves with other emotions.

Which of the characters do you relate to the most in Fic Title Here and why? Which was the most fun/difficult to write?

Kaya/the OC is probably the OC I relate to the most in my universe. She’s academically driven and hardworking and kind of scatterbrained, but she’s really good for Namjoon, in that he’s finally able to let his guard down around her. In particular, I relate to her because we both left home for college and stayed out, live alone, are borderline workaholics but don’t mind that either. She’s usually the most fun character to write that way, because I can explore choices and experiences vicariously through her - in some cases, not all - mostly because we’re the same age and have so many of the same values and experiences.

How long have you been writing? What made you decide to write?

I’ve been writing for approximately fifteen years, ever since my cousin sister introduced me to fanfiction back in middle school. I’ve written for tons of fandoms, but the one that’s stayed with me the longest has been Harry Potter, from cringe romance to more grown up war fics. I have an extremely vivid imagination and I can spend hours daydreaming so the best outlet for me is to pen it down, regardless of whether I choose to publish. I also love going back and re-reading it, if for no other reason than to catch glimpses of what I was doing back then or how my writing has improved.

What are your favorite tropes, genres, AUs, etc. to read and write?

Within the BTS fandom, I’ll honestly read anything as long as it’s written well. Darkfic/yandere/mafia/hybrid isn’t really my cup of tea, but I particularly love soulmate AUs, idol AUs and - this is a weird sub-genre - almost divorced couple AUs (delicious angst). I also love certain crack fics, because humour and banter is something I love to read and write.

When it comes to writing, I strictly stay within canon, no matter the fandom. If I’m writing about real people, then canon implies whatever we know publicly about them, along with minor changes maybe - which is why all my fics are idol fics. I also love writing movie/TV show AUs, where I get to flit between the characters’ canon and the show’s canon, which is fun.

How do you overcome writers block?

Power through. That’s literally it. I don’t like having unfinished WIPs, so if I’m working on a fic where I’m stuck, I have this need to finish it before moving on. If I’m stuck on a certain scene, I just close that scene as quickly as possible and start writing the one I really want, and work on the transition later. Sometimes I watch a movie or a show with a similar theme for inspiration too.

What is the most difficult part of your writing process? 

Given that I have set storylines for all members, I know where all their stories are headed. I also have certain key events outlined, but there are fics I need to insert to add context and stuff, so thinking about those situations and fleshing it out is a bit of a challenge.

When Cath isn’t writing, you can often find her working, reading, or chasing her labrador around the house while he steals her stuff. Cath is a manager at an investment bank, working in process transformation and change management. When Cath is craving something good to eat, she chooses Chinese takeout or garlic bread. Cath is very thankful for the network of writers she's met.

BDC is proud to have Cath as a member of our Court and cannot wait to see what she shares next!

[piratinh0]

ooh now i’m curious, what are your top 5 fav project sekai characters?? (also!! your art is so cool, i adore it so much)

Thank you! :D

I can say for sure that i like all characters in this game, but if picking my favs it would be something like this:

Tsukasa- i think this is no surprise since a lot of the prsk fanart i made were of him hahah buy seriosly i love his personality, like, i enjoy drawing him edgy and stuff but the fact he is simply a ball of energy and positivity is what captivated me, oh and the fact he has an insane self esteem, this guy and the rest of wxs are the perfect combo; characters like this are like fresh air

Emu- how can i explain her...WONDERHOY

Saki- saaaakiiii, she suffered so much and is so positive, characters that went thoughout such hardships and don't go bitter about it but rather still look for happiness have my heart; also i really like that theory that without saki there would be no groups, so give her some respect!

Akito- i really enjoy his voice, i'll be drawing and hearing akito covers all the time, his VA is amazing! as for character i like his grumpy, mean but actually nice type, and i find this interactions with Ena hilarious;

Minori- Now this girl, she is a surprise even to me, like the first time i opened the game, i looked at her and thoght " if there is a character i will dislike for no reason is her", curious enough she is one of my favs now, go figure. one of the reasons i didn't like her at first was her design, do you know the love live school idol project game? I used to play in the gold years (u's), as time goes on the old groups graduate and then new groups are made, and swear it, Minori looks like every school idol group band leader and it triggered me, she looks like a misture of Chika and Honoka and maybe this was done on purpose idk, what i did know was that i thought she would be this generic and bland school idol leader to accomodate their more shining friends; For my surprise she was the entirely opposite, she is a charismatic character, trying her best and being wholesome, this girl grew on me, who would know, not me.

honorable mention to Rui and Kanade

Sorry for the long post, it was fun to try to explain a bit each one of them; Oh and for the minori part is not that i dislike the school idol leaders, is just a thing i had with the design.

I think that's all :D

[evaimagineskelly]

Pic’s not mine (source: Pinterest)

Vigdis Belia Bogovi

Nationality: Bogovian

Origin: Bogovian

Age: 29

Height: 5’7” / 172 cm

Weight: 143.3 lbs / 65 kg

Profession: Queen of Bogovia

Vigdis is the queen of Bogovia, a powerful country (it’s not a real one, I’ve made it up) that’s known its prosperity since Vigdis’s father; Vidgar, the 12th king of the country, who made it flourish and grow, being the 13th ruler and Queen and going after her father’s steps, the country had become extremely strong and thriving.

Vigdis had always idolized her father, not only as a parent but also as a ruler, which made her dream to become one of the greatest rulers of history herself.

Her father knew she would be a great queen, but he also knew how different she was from other royal children, most kids let things go, but she didn’t. He would see how she would tear herself apart to achieve something or tear anyone in her way to shreds and make them suffer, and soon, he realized how much of an amazing queen she would be but not much of a great person, and soon enough she realized too, but Vidgis didn’t mind, as long as her people are comfortable and her name is known enough to scare everyone, she was more than satisfied.

By the age of 20, Vidgis became the 13th ruler and 3th queen of Bogovia. She was more than excited to finally take control, and ohh how was she obsessed with control, she believes that control should be in the hands of the right person, and she is, nobody can deny it, nobody dares to…

Vigdis has very high self esteem and great confidence, in other words she has a god-complex, her pride is above the roof let alone her ego, she won’t hesitate to put anyone in their place if they crossed the line.

As much as this sounds weird…Vigdis is love deprived. Yes her father did drown her in his love and affection but it was never enough, her mother died giving birth to her, and her dad refused to marry again as he’s busy enough with his royal duties hence, she was raised by maids and tutors, why she ended up with attachement and abondamment issues, and that’s the main reason why she refuses to have feelings for anyone.

The queen had never fallen in love, she met many royal suitors and princes in her life, in fact she grew along with most of them…but she never liked them romantically. Vigdis believes in soulmates, she tended to ask her father about her mom all the time, and he never denied her the chance to love her mother even if she wasn’t there with them. She would listen to the descriptions of his lover and how much he adored her, and by the end, she fantasied about finding this soulmate of hers…

…..that’s why she was so happy, when she had finally founded you, her beautiful soulmate….

“…oh love, where have you been all this time, I was looking for you. my beautiful soulmate…”

Hope you guys enjoyed this.