#i love frozen yogurt perfect for cooling down in the summer

[gayautisticraccoon]

@gaylilsherlock @uhhhhmanda @fr-wiwiw

Alright. We’re settling this discourse once and for all.

In the tags, tell me your opinion on:

Mayonnaise

Frozen Yogurt 

Salt and Vinegar Chips

Sweet Potatoes

Kiwi

Ginger Ale

Microwave Ramen

[xumoonhao]

i was tagged by @onedirecton to tag 10 ppl i want to get to know better and make a few questions :3 hehe, thank you sm alice :3

favourite colour: purple, hehe :3 alice i love that we have the same fav colour 💜💜💜 favourite food: ahhhh, i love most things!!! i do have a soft spot for soups and stews tho like they are so so wonderful……… mutuals pls gather round im giving you all a bowl of w/e soup or stew you like rn 🍲 song stuck in my head: babaero by randy santiago!!! its been stuck in my head since i first listened to it like it really is just so good, god… funky city pop music is really everything to me!!!!!!!! absolute best genre of music ever <<<333 i give it one thousand million hearts <- this was my last obsession bc i wrote all these answers down like. a week ago and forgot to post it so now the song stuck in my head is dagundong by alamat :3 its so good btw~! last long i listened to: hala by alamat!!! spotify did the only good thing its ever done by reintroducing me to alamat again like they are So Good oh my god...highly recommend their music!!! the way they work Filipino history into their videos and songs is soooooooo beautiful omg..... dream trip: hhhhhh i want to go to SO many places but my absolute DREAM is japan!!! id love to check out tokyo bc its so not like where i grew up - a bustling metropolis is what i want to live in like literally get me outta my small town this is not the place for meeeeee 😭 - but nara….the deer there……….god i need to go so BAD and i also just want to go to a cherry blossom festival once like pls…pls :( other than tho id LOVE to visit the great bear rainforest!!! like it just looks so so beautiful and its really not too far from me omg……. last tv show/movie: im currently watching the cherry magic anime (it is so good and so cute omg i forgot how much i enjoy the story….) and rewatching kyou kara maoh which is really and truly such a beloved anime To Me like its absolutely ridiculous god i love it sm!!! and i dont remember the last movie i watched?? i Think it was skinamarink but i could be wrong bc i watched that early last year and surely ive seen a movie since then…? but also maybe not bc i truly do only watch like 1 movie a year 😭 <- also update to this bc i watched sweet home a couple days ago!!! it was quite good and i really enjoyed the practical effects in it :3 older horror movies really have such a beloved place in my heart ahhh...also in writing this i remember i watched The Thing after skinamarink...i. only watched horror movies apparently spicy/sweet/savory: SPICY 🌶️🌶️🌶️ i do like all these things but if i had to choose id def go spicy over either of these!!! i do like spicy + sweet tho like omg one time i had spicy chocolate frozen yogurt and it was sooooooo good !!! idk what was used to make it spicy but i Adored it wahhhh~

also!!! in your lil tag game it said to make a few cool questions so i will make some <<<333

If you could be any animal, would you choose to be a domesticated animal or a wild one? Domesticated can extend to a wild animal that has been individually raised in a home, i.e., someone raising a raccoon a pet.

What is your favourite medium of creation? If you don't really engage in making things, pick whatever you're most interested in trying :3 And by medium I mean everything from drawing or making music or writing…anything creative!

What is/are your favourite(s) combination of colours?

Imagine your perfect summer day; what does it look like? Give as much description as you want :3

What is your favourite celestial object?

now, ill tag @grlfriends, @kwonhochi, @vampirebiter, @wonhosgrl, @librapropaganda, @honeydewtual, @heartual, @10281, @taengoo, @morgoth, @bixiaoshi, @ghostfeather, @ashmp3, @lovenee, @earlymay, @anglerfishare1inchto3feetlong, and @huiven!!! only if you want, ofc :3 and i know it said only 10 ppl but you see. i lost count while tagging ......... but thats fine <3

[bluefirewrites]

JATP Mall!AU

Hey guys, I was inspired by my old, unfinished Sky High AU where the characters were just teenagers working the mall during the summer and I thought the premise I came up with it would be super cool for another Juke/Williex AU. 

The characters of JATP but they all work in different stores in the mall. 

I originally had it be Magenta and Warren working the book store, but I can’t see Julie working a book store. 

So let’s say Julie would be working at like one of those ‘Color Me Mine’ places, helping people make pottery and get creative with their crafts. 

She’s always been somewhat of an artist, and she definitely would be the last to leave and close up, blasting the speakers with her playlist, singing and dancing around as she cleans.

But she doesn’t do this as much anymore because that cute guy from the music store, the one who wears the cutoffs, caught her doing this one night and she’s been too embarrassed to face him ever since. 

Luke would obviously work at the music store with Mrs. Harrison as his manager.

Let’s say Bobby works there too, but he’s a bit more critical of customer’s music taste, while Luke on the other hand has a bit more of an eclectic taste and would be down to help any one find what they’re looking for. And he’s got the perfect view of the cute pottery girl who always sits at the same bench during her break...

Reggie would work at the pizza place because it’s his one true love (besides music of course).

Although they don’t serve deep dish pizza, no matter how many times Flynn begs his manager to work it into the menu. As if they had the power to change it... He does hook his friends up with a free drink with their order. 

Alex would work at a book store.

He could not handle how busy retail or food service would get on some days, but at least the book store is quiet and calm. He’ll be able to read his favorites while waiting for customers. Also you can’t beat the view of the skate shop across the way, and Alex can’t help but sneak glances at the cute guy who works there. 

Flynn would work in retail, maybe something like Abercrombie or Forever 21.

She would be the employee to oh so subtly challenge your fashion comfort zones and she would give her honest opinion if you ask her. She would give her friends her discount every time. She’s dying to switch off to go to work at Hot Topic tho the first chance she gets. 

Carrie would work in makeup, like Sephora.

She would be insanely good at her job and have zero patience when helping train new people. She’s the kind of employee that lays her customer service smile a little too thick but would whirl around and bad mouth them behind her back to the other employees. 

Willie would work the skate shop.

He would get in trouble with mall security a lot for boarding on his way to work. But he’s been totally careful! It was just the one time when he was in a hurry to make his shift that he may skated into that cutie that worked the bookstore, knocking him down and ruining the Wetzel Pretzel hot dog that he was holding... But it was sort of worth it. 

And some quick ones:

Nick- frozen yogurt or the Apple Store (since he helped Julie with her hologram problem on the show, it would be cool if he was techy). 

Kayla- sportswear, but more yoga pants like Lululemon or Fabletics (do they have a store?)

Caleb- either suits department of Nordstrom or he runs the whole mall, and he’s sort of like a villain because he detests the same group of teenagers that seem to cause all kind of antics and problems for him...(ahem everyone mentioned above). 

This is what I got so far, but my premise is just random wacky schemes everyone gets up to while working the mall but is centered around Juke and Willex as the ships, and maybe some side pairings along the way. 

[forever-rogue]

Javier Prompt, if you're willing!! Javier comes home late from work to find the apartment empty, and begins to panic because his pregnant significant other isn't there. He's been nervous the last few months, and it's only gotten worse. When the phone rings and she's on the other end asking for him to come pick her up, he just imagines the worst possibilities.

I’m just...so...soft at the thought of dad to be Javi. Like...just imagine it... 🥺

I also realized that I read this prompt a little wrong and changed it slightly, but I hope you still like it!

Javier Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

It was the heart of summer, the warmest time of the year, and Colombia was in the middle of a heat wave. It was a stifling heat, the kind that was pervasive and deep to penetrate deep into your bones no matter how hard you tried to find relief. Warm mornings turned to even warmer afternoons which led to balmy evenings. Normally, you’d be able to handle it fairly well, as the heat generally didn’t bother you that much. But the not so little fact that you were almost eight months pregnant during all of this did not help. It only served to make you more miserable and it was almost impossible to find any sort of relief.

Javier, your boyfriend and the most Nervous Nellie of a father to be, was attentive to your needs, finding all sorts of ways to ease your discomforts and make you feel better. You were pretty sure that he’d read more pregnancy books than you had, and there was a small growing library of them in the living room bookcase. As soon as you told him you were pregnant, something you had been reluctant to do since you had no clue how he would respond to this surprise, he had shifted into dad mood. Sometimes you were sure he was more excited than you were - the way his eyes had lit up when you had first announced the news and shown him the positive pregnancy test was forever burned into your mind. It was a treasured moment that you never wanted to let go of.

All the knowledge he gathered and all the little tips and tricks learned along the way had been helpful more times than not. But unfortunately, nothing could help you in this heat - no amount of cold showers and drinks and fans seemed to help. You could barely sleep at night, finding it hard to sleep any position with your large belly, and Javi’s warm body to you. He seemed to run warm as it was and it certainly wasn’t helping now..

The one little bit of relief you did find, however, came in the form of the frozen yogurt that Javier had found by chance at the supermarket, thinking you might like it. And you had; you’d almost devoured the whole container in one sitting, and it seemed to cool you ever so slightly. One late night, when you really couldn’t sleep, you’d gotten a hankering for the sweet dessert, and but also something sour. Imagine Javi’s surprise when he woke up to go to the bathroom and found you sitting on the couch watching late night television and eating pickles dipped in the frozen yogurt.

“Oh honey,” his voice was tired and thick with sleep as tried his best not to laugh at the sight. You looked up at him, with a small, sheepish smile on your face as you took another bite of the crunchy pickle. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your before plopping down on the couch next to you, “pickles and ice cream?”

“Froyo,” you corrected him, waving the pickle in front of his face and offering him a bite. He shook his head before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and watching as you dipped the pickle back in and coated it in the frozen yogurt before eating it, “you should go back to bed, Javi. You’ve been exhausted, my love.”

“I couldn’t sleep...again,” he admitted with a small sigh, “and then I found you gone, and then I saw the light on. Why...why on earth are you eating that?”

“Your kid was hungry,” you shrugged lightly, looking pointedly between him and your large stomach, “and I was hot, so I figured this could solve both of my problems.”

“Hey, that is half your kid as well,” he snorted with laughter as put his hand on your belly, rubbing it gently. The baby always seemed to know when it was Javier touching your stomach, moving softly and kicked at the feel of his touch and sound of his voice, “they’re moving.”

It always seemed to amaze him, each time the same as it had the first time, his face lighting up with joy and sheer love. You tried not to get emotional, but with your raging hormones, it was hard to keep anything in check, and you felt that familiar prickling start at the back of your eyes. Putting a hand on top of his, you turned to give him a smile, a tear inadvertently slipping down your cheek. Javi gently reached over and softly wiped it away before giving you a sweet kiss, “honey, don’t cry, it’s alright.”

“I know,” you said softly, feeling the water works preparing to well up, “it’s just...I love you so much, and I’m so excited and happy, but right now being pregnant sucks and I want it to be over and I don’t at the same time because I’m so nervous to meet the baby, our baby, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I know you’ll be the best father, but I worry that I won’t be a good mother. I mean, look at me, I’m sitting here and eating frozen yogurt and pickles and crying.”

“Honey,” Javi put his hand on your cheek and leaned in closer to you, his lips brushing faintly against yours, “you’re alright, you’re going to be just fine. It’s just your hormones - I promise. You’re going to be an amazing mother - the best mother. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be in your position right now, or how it feel at all, but you are incredible for everything you’re doing. I mean, think about it, you’re carrying our child right now. Do you have any idea what a feat that is, how amazing you are?”

“You’re just saying that because I’m pathetic and pregnant,” you sniffled lightly, but he cut you off with a firm kiss, his hand going to the back of your heading, holding you close. It warmed you up completely, in a different way this time, one that was not unpleasant and overbearing, but comforting, “Javi...”

“I know,” he whispered quietly, “I love too.”

“Really?” you asked, your voice but a mere, soft whimper. He nodded softly, nuzzling his nose against yours. Of course you knew he loved you; it was just all of these crazy hormones making you question everything.

“Really, mi amor,” he promised, “you, and our child, even if you’re resorting to silly things such as eating ice cream and pickles.”

“Froyo,” you laughed lightly, feeling a wash of reassurance flood over you. It was hard, especially this far along to remain positive, but it was always easier when you had Javi. He was your rock, your anchor, and helped you keep a level head through all of this, just like you often did with him. The two of you made a good pair, and you hoped that would translate into good parenting.

“Froyo and all,” he corrected, “I love every part of you. Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

On this particular evening, you were at home by yourself, boredom and warmth setting in as you couldn't find anything to hold your interest. You'd made dinner and saved some for Javi, who was working late. He'd told you when he left in the morning that it would he a long day, but a part of you had wished that something would happen and allow him to come home sooner.

But it was nearing ten in the evening and you weren't sure when he'd be back. He was on a stakeout with Steve, meaning it was anyone's guess. Feeling listless, you decided to go for a short walk. It would at least give you some exercise and maybe help to cool you down, should you find some sort of breeze.

You scribbled a note on the pad next to the phone, in the off chance that Javi would return before you came back. Perching the note up so it was easily visible, you walked, or waddled over rather, to your purse and grabbed a few dollars and your key before heading out.

It probably wasn't the best idea to go out, at night, alone, in the midst of everything going on in Colombia, but you really just needed to get out at this point. Surely Javi could understand that, right? But....perhaps he wouldn't.

He'd been such a mother hen lately, ensuring that everything was perfect and attending to your every need. While you didn't mind, not for the most part anyway, sometimes it was a little overwhelming. Being pregnant was enough of a chore, but having someone constantly underfoot wasn't any better. You loved him and he meant well, but sometimes you just needed a break.

Stepping out into the slightly cooler evening air, you let out a sigh of relief as you started your little trek around the block. Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck you; the supermarket where Javi had found your treasured frozen yogurt was close by. Making up your mind, you decided you'd pick up a carton of the stuff and a new jar of pickles.

»»————-　♡　————-««

When Javier arrived home, he was tired, exhausted even, and couldn't wait to get in bed and have you in his arms. It was late, later than he would have liked but his long day was finally over. He'd even come to the decision that he would be working fewer hours and staying out of the field when possible. It was going to a be a big change, but his main priority was you and your baby and he wanted to be around should anything happen. He had a feeling that you'd try and argue with him, but his mind was made up.

"Hermosa," he let out a long sigh as he tried to unlock the door, but stopped, eyebrows knitting together in confusion when he realized the door was already unlocked. Strange. Neither of you ever kept it unlocked, and you definitely knew better.

A tingle of nerves started at the base of his spine as he opened the door and walked inside slowly, unsure of what to expect. The television was on and the window was open, all signs pointing to the fact that you would be home.

"Honey?" his voice faltered slightly as he walked down the hallway and poked his head his head in the bedrooms and bathrooms, trying to see if he could find you. But you were nowhere to be found.

His heart started to race slightly as he reached for the gun in the waistband of his jeans and pulled it out, holding it at the ready. His mind immediately went into overdrive as a million horrid, dark thoughts appeared. Every single bad thought he possessed within the far recesses of mind were suddenly right up front.

What if someone had come and taken you? If someone had broken in? What if something had happened with you and the baby? What if, what if, what if?

There appeared to he no signs of a struggle, but he knew better than anyone that appearances could be deceiving. Your purse was still here and the smell of cooking lingered in the kitchen.

"Fuck," he said softly to himself, running a hand over his face in exasperation as he came to the conclusion that something had to have happened, "Fuck!"

He grabbed the phone, throwing the notepad face down onto the floor in his haste and quickly dialed Steve's number. Anxiously waiting for him to answer, he almost shouted in the receiver, "she's gone! I just got back but she's not here!"

It took Steve only a beat to figure out Javi was in distress about you and he tried to calm him down. Surely there must be there another explanation, "hey, hey, hey, I'm sure it's alright-"

"The door was unlocked, her things are here, TV on. It looks like someone got in here and just took her," it was hard to remain calm when not only could you possibly be at risk, but also the baby, "fuck! Has she talked to Connie at all? Does she know anything?"

He heard Steve mumbling something to Connie, asking her if you had mentioned anything to her or spoken to her. He let out a heavy sigh before returning to Javi, "Con hasn't heard anything. Javi, just relax, I'm sure there's a reasonable-"

"She's missing, Steve! She's almost eight months pregnant and you expect me to calm down!?" he didn't mean to sound as harsh as he did, but he was extremely stressed. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been this worried.

"Make whatever calls you need to and I'll be there to help," Steve hung up the phone as Javi nodded, trying to focus as he tried to make a game plan for how to find you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

After some time you'd finally managed to find your favorite flavor of frozen yogurt and a big jar of pickles, you made your way home, ready to dig in and wait for Javi.

The evening had cooled down further and you strolled back at a leisurely pace, not that you had much of a choice this far in, taking your time to get back. When you got into the complex and made your way to your shared apartment, you thought you heard some voices, and grew excited to think that Javi might be back.

Unlocking the door slowly you stepped in, mouth dropping at sight in front of you. Javi, Steve, and Connie were all around the kitchen table, pouring over what looked like a map, the phone next to them.

"Hey everyone," they were so immersed in their little discussion none of them had noticed you at first, "what's going on?"

Javi's dark eyes flicked up to meet yours momentarily before looking back down at the map. It took him a good few moments before he finally realized it was you, "honey! You're here...you're back! Where the hell have you been?"

"Yeah, of course I'm back..." you walked over to the table and set your bag down, "I live here? I went for a walk and stopped at the market for frozen yogurt and pickles."

"Why!?"

"Your kid was hungry as normal?" you said as if it was no big deal, "and I wanted to get out for a little bit."

"The door was unlocked," he come over to you and put his hands on your face, a clearly distressed look on his face, "the lights and the television were on and I could smell dinner, and you weren't home. I was so worried."

"I just left everything on because I was just going on for a little bit. And in case you came home before me, I didn't want everything all dark," your heart sank a little when you saw how upset he is, "I'm sorry, Javi, I honestly thought I'd be back before you."

"I was so worried! I thought someone had come and taken you or something had happened to baby!" he threw up his hands in exasperation. You knew he wasn't mad at you, he was just in general panic mode over anything related to you right now, "what was I supposed to think?"

"Javi, I left you a note where you would see it," you let out a small sigh as you spied the notepad on the floor, your note still face down. Making your over to it, you tried to pick it up, but quickly came to the conclusion that it was going to be a herculean feat. Connie quickly came to your rescue and swooped it up and studied it before handing it to you, "how did this get on the floor? I left it up so you would easily see it."

Javi came over and took it from your hand, quickly reading it over. He hung his head when he realized he must have knocked it over, "fuck. I must have done that and not noticed."

"If you'd been in the office I would have called you, my love," you put a hand on shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, "but I didn't know if you'd be there...so I just left the note."

He let out a soft groan before taking your hand and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles, "I'm sorry, honey. I just...the door was unlocked and I worry. Especially with everything going on right now and you're so close. I...might have overreacted a little bit..."

"You think?" you teased him, wrapping your arms his neck, holding him as close as possible, with the exception of your stomach, "trust me, if someone was breaking in, I would put up a fight and someone would have heard my screaming. If anything was wrong with the baby, I would have gone to Connie."

"But honey-"

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't I can't put a fight. Anyone tries to come for you or our baby, they're going to catch sight of these hands," you insisted, causing him, Steve, and Connie to break into laughter, "what?! What's so funny?"

"Hermosa," Javi met your eyes for a moment, putting his hand on your face as he gave you a soft smile, "baby, you're 34 weeks pregnant, you cry when you can't pick things up off the floor. You cried at a commercial last night. I don't think you're going to kick anyone's ass."

"Try me, Javier Peña, try me," you put your hands, and tried your best to give him a mean look, "I've got that crazy pregnancy strength!"

"I love you," Javi just laughed before giving a soft kiss, "so much. I’m so glad you’re okay."

"I love you too," you grinned at him, "sorry for worrying you. The one time you come early! If I had any clue I would have just waited. Sorry Steve, sorry Con. You got dragged into all of this because of me. I should have just told Connie and made her come with me."

"It's dangerous to go out alone," Javi reminded you and just pouted your lips at him.

"I just needed to go out and damn kid just wanted a damn snack," you laughed lightly at yourself, "now half the city is probably out looking for me."

"Try half the country," Steve corrected as you just looked at Javi and he sheepishly shrugged at you. He gave Connie a look and the two of them shared a nod, deciding it was time for them to go, "glad you're okay and it was just a misunderstanding. I think this should serve as a lesson to keep calm, right Javi?"

"Fuck off, Murph," Javi flipped him the bird but gave him a thankful smile nonetheless. You gave them a wave before crossing your arms over your chest and shaking your head at him, "I was worried, alright? Every single thought bad of what could have happened to you went through my mind. I would never forgive myself something happened to you, either of you, because of me."

"I know," you put your hand on his cheek and rubbing your thumb gently over his cheekbone, "nothing will ever happen to me or this bean. At least not because of you, probably because I tried over my own feet, which I haven't seen in months, thank you very much."

"You don't know that-"

"Javi, I do," you insisted firmly, "you take such good care of us all the time. You do everything. I know nothing will go wrong, we're safe and sound, here with you.”

“I cannot believe I was this worried about my wife going out and getting ice cream and pickles,” he let out a long sigh of relief as he watched you with a small smile. He took your hand and laced your fingers together, “you are...something else.”

“Firstly - froyo,” you reminded him with a laugh, “and secondly - not your wife.”

“Not yet,” he beamed at you with a little wink. He had plans for that, big plans, but he wasn’t about to tell you that yet.

“Oh yeah, is that so?” you played it cool but internally you were bubbling up with excitement.

“Yeah,” he promised, giving you a nod, “but that’s a discussion for another time. Now why don’t get your...dessert? Snack? Whatever you call and we can go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“That’s what you get for panicking,” you traced you a finger down his nose before kissing it gently. He held you there for a moment, resting his forehead against yours, “I love you, Javi. Really.”

“I love you too, honey,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “even if you do stress me out.”

“Out of love.”

“Aye, dios mio,” he made quick work of scooping you up in his arms, making it effortless and like you totally weren’t heavily pregnant, “you’ve lost all privileges now. Time for bed.”

“Okay, but when you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like a punishment, it just sounds sexy,” you giggled as he started carrying you towards the bedroom, “and that’s how I got pregnant in the first place!”

“Honey...”

“And don’t forget my froyo and pickles!”

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Part 6

While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-5 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years

Thank you to everyone who reblogged the last chapter and an extra special thank you to @imaginaryoperagloves ​@oliviaswifey and my lovely anon for your comments.

...and a very happy day THREE of birthday week to my love @ghostwritingcabenson

Olivia had kissed her girlfriend just three more times before Abbie and Serena interrupted their time alone. She had now kissed Alex a total of five times and each kiss had been better than the one before. And it’s going to keep getting better. 

“You guys missed the best thing to happen at the dance,” Serena excitedly told her best friend. She sat down on the bench next to Alex and squeezed in as closely as she could so Abbie could sit down on the other side of her. “Logan in our homeroom asked Ava to slow dance with him even though he’s with Allie and when Allie found out she splashed an entire cup of punch on him and his white shirt. Everyone, even the seventh and eighth graders, were laughing at him. He’s such a creep. It’s gonna be the topic of conversation all day on Monday and I can’t believe you guys missed it.”

“What were you doing out here anyway?” Abbie asked. “Were you sick of the eighth graders? The way they dance is just grinding on each other. It’s so gross and they think they’re so much cooler than everyone.”

Serena gasped. “I know why they were out here.” She started to stare at her best friend’s face. “Something about you is different, Alex. You’re glowing and you’re like a whole new woman. You and Olivia were kissing! Tell me all about it. Did she slip you the tongue? Wait, you can’t tell me that in front of her. Call me as soon as you get home and tell me every detail.”

“What?” Alex’s eyes widened. “No! Olivia and I don’t do that! We just kissed normally.”

Serena nearly pounced on her best friend. “You and Olivia kissed? I’m so happy for you! You still need to call me tonight and tell me everything, though. Are her lips soft? Abbie’s are really soft and she wears vanilla chapstick. She tastes like a birthday cake and you know how much I love birthday cake.”

“I’m right here, Serena,” Abbie said in a frustrated tone of voice. “And none of that slipping the tongue stuff for us either. That’s so gross. I have enough spit of my own. I don’t need yours, too.”

Olivia glanced over at the pick-up and drop-off area and noticed a man around her mom’s age pull up in a black sports car. Her mom drove a hybrid and hated men who drove sports cars because she said most of them were pretentious, but Olivia had to admit it was one of the coolest cars she had ever seen. 

“That’s my uncle Emerson,” Abbie told them. “My parents are having date night tonight so I’m staying with him.”

“Can we check out his car?” Serena asked. Before Abbie could respond, Serena grabbed her by the hand and started hurrying her over. 

“You want to see it, too, don’t you?” Alex asked Olivia. “Nevermind. I don’t even have to ask. Let’s go see it.”

The car was a brand new Mustang and Olivia was in awe of the interior and all the features it had. “Uncle Em, these are my friends Alex and Olivia,” Abbie told him, bringing Olivia out of the trance she was in from staring at the car. “And the beautiful girl in the same dress as me is my girlfriend Serena.”

“It’s nice to meet you girls,” Emerson said to them. He was handsome and well dressed with brown hair and brown eyes and Olivia was sure she had seen him somewhere before even if she couldn’t figure out where.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Olivia blurted out.

“You’re Serena Benson’s daughter, aren’t you?” Emerson asked. 

“...yeah,” Olivia hesitated. “Do you work with my mom?”

Emerson shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen your mom in thirteen years. She and I were best friends in college. We did everything together. She was in my fraternity’s sister sorority and I found out her dorm room was a few doors down from mine. We were both pledges at the same time so we’d swap horror stories about pledging every night at the cafe on the first floor of our building.”

“My mom never talks about college,” Olivia said glumly. “She doesn’t show me pictures either, but I saw her sorority keepsake box this past summer and I think that’s where I recognized you from. You guys went to formal together, right?”

Emerson slicked his hair back with his hand, trying to recall when he and Serena had gone to formal together. “Freshman, sophomore, and junior year,” he said matter-of-factly. “Now that I think about it we went every year other than senior year because your mom moved back home to LA when…”

“When she was pregnant with me?” Olivia asked. She could feel Alex, Abbie, and Serena staring at her, but she didn’t care. Whenever she asked her mom or even her aunt and uncle who her dad was, she was always met with a vague answer of her dad being someone her mom knew in college, but she was now face-to-face with someone who could possibly give her answers and she didn’t care how anyone reacted to her getting them.

“Would you girls excuse me?” Emerson asked. “Olivia, do you want to step aside and talk? I can see you have some other questions and it’s better if I answer them privately.”

“I’m her girlfriend,” Alex crossed her arms. “Olivia and I don’t keep secrets from each other, so anything you can say to her can be said to me.”

“Is that okay with you, Olivia?” he asked.

“...yeah,” Olivia responded nervously, now wondering if this conversation was still a good idea.

The three of them were standing close enough for Emerson to keep an eye on Abbie and Serena but far enough for the two of them not to be able to hear their conversation.

“Your mom was something,” Emerson chuckled. Judging by the expression on his face, Olivia could tell he was thinking of fond memories. I’ve finally found the right person to give me answers. “She was president of Phi Delt in her junior year. She was sick of weekly weigh-ins and all of this asinine stuff the girls were forced to do so I got a call from her at 3 a.m. and she’s saying she had an epiphany and that she’s going to run for president so she can change everything she hated about the organization. She laid out her entire campaign plan for me and I remember being so in awe of her because her plan worked. Serena was so fiery and so much fun. That woman was my everything when I was an undergrad. She found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks after our junior year ended. She had gone back home to LA for the summer and she called me a few minutes after she found out she was pregnant. She ended up taking a year off of school and I never saw her again.”

“She should be here any minute,” Alex said, her arms still crossed as she talked to Emerson. “If you and her were such great friends, I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

“I better not,” Emerson responded. “Serena and I had a falling out. I’m not sure she’d be as happy to see me as you think she’d be.”

“Why?” Olivia asked. “Did it have to do with my dad? If you were her best friend and the person she spent all her time with, you had to know him. Can you tell me something about him? Anything?”

“Were you jealous of him?” Alex narrowed her eyes at Emerson. “She liked some other guy so that’s why you stopped talking to her?”

“There was no other guy,” he said to Olivia, completely disregarding Alex. “That May, when she got pregnant with you, there was no other guy.”

“How?” Olivia asked. “If there was no other guy, then how did she－oh. You’re my...” It had suddenly become too much for Olivia. She wanted to cry, she wanted to hug him, but mostly she felt angry with her mom for keeping him from her all these years. 

She knew she only had a couple of minutes left with him, so she clinged to her dad tighter than she had ever clinged to anyone before for fear that the moment she let go, she’d realize that this had all been a dream. 

Emerson wrapped his arms around her, placing a kiss on top of her head. “I’ve been waiting so long to hold you, ever since I found out your mom was pregnant.”

“You have?”

“I loved your mom with all of my heart,” he said as she caressed Olivia’s back to comfort her. “I wanted us to be a family, but she didn’t want that. She didn’t even want me to see you, but I’ve watched you grow up online. Your mom and I aren’t friends on social media but I’ve seen your pictures through friends of friends. Abbie says you’re a great basketball player. You and I have that in common. I played when I was your age and in high school.”

“I get it from you then,” Olivia managed to say through her tears. “My mom knows nothing about sports.”

“Olivia,” Alex tried to get her attention. “Your mom should be here any second now. We have to go, unless...Emerson, you’d like to see Serena? Serena and her perfect girlfriend who is tall and strong and can probably hurt any man who messes with Serena.”

“Your girl is a fiery one, too,” he said to Olivia. “I know your mom should be here soon, so I’m going to give you my number and you can call or text me anytime you want.”

Olivia pulled away so she could get her phone out of her back pocket. Once she got his number, she immediately texted him so he could have hers. Her text message simply read, ‘Hi, Dad.’ but she had waited a lifetime just to be able to call someone that.

Olivia watched her dad drive away, wondering if she’d get the opportunity to see him again or if her mom would keep him from her for another 12 years. I don’t care what she says. This is her fault. We could have been a family this whole time but she ruined it for us. She ruined everything.

“I don’t like him,” Alex said as they walked over to where Jamie’s car had just pulled up. “There’s something creepy about him. Your mom seems cool, Olivia. She’s even taking us for frozen yogurt right now when most parents would never do that for their daughter’s boyfriend or girlfriend. If she’s cool about other things, don’t you think there’s a good reason why she never told you about him? And he knows your mom wouldn’t want you to talk to him, but yet he says you can text him behind your mom’s back? A responsible adult would first try to make amends with your mom and then build a relationship with you.”

Before Olivia could respond, Serena came rushing over to her. She had removed her stilettos and set them down on the grass so she could walk faster. I don’t even want her touching me. But the moment she was wrapped up in her mom’s embrace, Olivia couldn’t bring herself to be mad at her. “Ollie, sweetie, why are you crying? You had me so worried.” 

She felt the softness of her mom’s sweater dress and smelled the familiar scent of her Burberry Blush perfume and the product she used whenever she wanted her hair in beach waves. Everything about her mom felt like home and she never wanted to upset her or do anything to hurt the woman who loved her more than life itself.

“We just found out something very disturbing, Ms. Benson,” Alex began. “Mrs. Rodriguez, our science teacher, is giving us another science project. It’s really going to cut into Olivia’s ESPN time.”

“My girl,” her mom said as she began to caress her back the same way her dad did just a few moments before. “Is that what’s wrong? You know I’ll help you with your project.”

“Yeah,” Olivia nuzzled into her mom’s shoulder. It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did have a project.

Her mom placed a kiss on Olivia’s nose. “I love you so much Ollie. You’re my smart girl and I know you’re going to do great on your project but if you ever need help with anything at all, you can always come to me. Now let’s go get you girls some frozen yogurt. I want to hear all about your date and get to know your Disney princess.”

“Ms. Benson, stay here. I’ll go get your shoes,” Alex said. “They’re Louboutins. They should not just be lying in the grass.”

“Your girlfriend knows her shoes, Ollie.”

“She knows everything,” Olivia beamed with pride. 

“Apparently she knows how to kiss, too, because I can see some glitter lip gloss on your lips.”

Olivia immediately covered her mouth. “Mom, I－wait, is that a mark on your neck?”

“I’m allergic to our fabric softener,” Serena quickly responded.

Olivia was grateful when Alex returned with her mom’s shoes and they could finally drop the subject. “Ms. Benson, your cheeks are so pink. What blush do you use?”

“Oh, I’m not wearing any,” Serena responded. “I only wear foundation, mascara, and lipstick.”

“You’re glowing!” Alex told her. “I need to know your skincare routine.”

Olivia took a second glance at her mom. She did look different. Her cheeks were pink, her lipstick that was usually perfectly applied was somewhat faded, and she had a dark mark on her neck. What did she….oh, MOM! Yuck! She was making out with Jamie right before picking us up. I’m never gonna be able to look Jamie in the eyes again.

But on second thought, now she can’t ground me for kissing Alex. If she does, I'll ground her for making out with Jamie. 

Olivia wasn’t sure if she should talk to her mom about meeting her dad or if she should even continue texting him behind her mom’s back no matter how much she wanted a relationship with him. But she had until the end of the night to think about it. For the next hour, she was going to eat some frozen yogurt with gummy worms in it and try to avoid getting grounded.

[maybeimamuppet]

just a farewell

It’s very hot.

It’s the middle of July, and Janis is boiling even with her window open and a fan running full blast. She’s always hated summer. Cady, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered by the heat.

She does, however, seem very bothered by the other thing that the middle of July is bringing them. Janis is leaving for college in New York, and Cady is staying for her own in Illinois.

In September, when they first started applying for colleges, they weren’t even together. They were crushing hard on each other, but not dating. They didn’t even know what schools the other had applied to. By the time they started hearing things back, it was February and they had finally started dating.

They’d had a long discussion about how much they wanted their relationship to affect their decisions. They’d come to the mutual but rather upsetting agreement that, no matter how much they loathe the idea, there’s always a chance their relationship won’t last forever. Their educations would, and they both deserve the one that would be best for them.

So, Janis decided on an arts school in New York. Damian had actually chosen the same one, so they decided to rent an apartment in the city together. Damian is a performing arts major, and Janis decided to study art history and drawing, wanting to leave painting as her sacred art medium.

Cady’s application process was rather more involved, since she had been homeschooled for all but two years and her parents had never done any kind of credit system. She’d had to take placement exams instead of basing things off of her transcript. She’d chosen to go to the University of Illinois, and had managed to get herself in as a junior in credits as a mathematics major. Regina is majoring in psychology there as well, and they had recently learned they’re going to be roommates.

“I’m gonna take this down,” Cady says quietly as she grabs a box by the door, sneakily before it can be taped shut.

“Sure thing, Peanut. Thanks,” Janis says as she folds another shirt for the box she’s packing.

Cady carries her box down the stairs and out to Janis’ truck. She had snuck her Mathletes jacket over and hidden it from Janis. Cady tucks it safely in the box with a little love note and tapes it shut, then slides the box into the back of Janis’ truck bed. She can live without it for a few months.

-

Janis is worried.

Cady has been acting oddly all month. She barely speaks, and when she does her voice is soft and monotone. She’s been extra clingy, always needing some form of physical contact with Janis whenever they’re together and seeming to panic slightly when she’s not able to. And, Cady’s been having more nightmares, regularly waking up either screaming or sobbing in Janis’ arms.

But the worst part by far, the part that worries Janis the most: Cady hasn’t smiled in almost a week. No matter what Janis does, she won’t smile. Janis does understand. She’s dreading the idea of leaving her girlfriend, but she’s still worried about her.

She pushes the last box containing her bedsheets over by the door to be carried down later and flops down on her bare mattress. Cady comes back and scoots in next to her. It’s too hot to cuddle no matter how badly they both want to, so Cady settles for hooking their pinkies together.

“Hi, Kitkat,” Janis says, turning onto her side to see her.

“Hi.” Cady replies in a voice so sad that Janis wants to unpack everything and stay behind.

“What’s wrong?” Janis asks sadly. Cady turns to look at her as well, heaving a sigh as she does. Janis runs a hand through Cady’s newly chin-length curls. “You haven’t smiled in so long. What’s the matter?”

“You’re leaving,” Cady says quietly.

“I gathered that,” Janis chuckles weakly. “I get it. I don’t want to leave you either. But I’m worried about you. You barely even speak anymore, and you keep waking up crying. I miss your smile.”

“It’s stupid,” Cady mumbles. Janis sees her eyes watering and switches their grip to hold her whole hand, giving a gentle squeeze.

“Baby, no it’s not,” she chides. “If you’re this upset, nothing could be stupid. Just tell me what’s wrong, I don’t want to leave knowing you’re this sad.”

Cady takes a deep breath and inches herself a bit closer. “I’m... I’m scared,” she chokes. “When-when Aaron left for his school we didn’t even make it two months. I thought I was so in love with him, and then it all ended. And with Rhys, he left and he... he never came back. I’m scared I’ll never see you again.”

She dissolves into broken sobs by the time she finishes. Janis gives up on trying to keep cool and pulls her into a tight cuddle, desperately hushing her and trying to comfort her as best she can. She supposes she should have known Cady would have some sort of issue with abandonment. Two of the people she loved most in the world left her. One broke up with her and the other died. It all makes a bit more sense now.

“Oh, baby,” Janis hushes. “It’s not like that for us. Aaron was so far away, and you weren’t with him nearly as long. And Butterfly, Rhys was going to war when he had to leave you. I’m going to New York, I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Cady sobs. “New York is dangerous! What if you get mugged?”

“If I get mugged then you’ll be the first to know since you’ll have to bail me out of jail for killing whoever tried me,” Janis says. “I know how to defend myself. I have pepper spray and a knife, and my mom made me take all those self defense classes with her, remember? I’m gonna be safe. Our apartment is in a good neighborhood and I’m not gonna go anywhere alone.”

Cady knows she’s being slightly irrational. Nobody would mess with Janis after looking twice at her, but she’s still scared. “What if you meet someone else? And like them more than me?”

Janis rolls over and pulls Cady to lie on top of her. “I don’t think that’s possible, Peanut. I love you so much. I’m more worried about you meeting some hot math dork and ditching me. Someone with, like, elbow patches on a turtleneck, you know?”

Cady doesn’t quite laugh, but Janis feels the slightest hint of a grin against her neck. Progress is progress. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby, no, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m... devastated, I don’t want to leave you here,” Janis says, choking back her own tears. “But we’re gonna be okay.”

Cady nods against her shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Butterfly. Come on, I have an idea,” Janis says, prying her girlfriend off her lap gently and tugging on the pair of shoes she left unpacked to wear on her drive to New York.

“Oh god,” Cady groans as she hauls herself upright and wipes the tears from her face. Janis’ ideas tend to be a little out there. Her last one involved stealing Damian’s old trombone and using it to piss off a bunch of local cows. She’d nearly gotten herself trampled and the trombone had not survived the incident.

“Not like the cows. Or the chickens,” Janis says quickly. “This one’s safe, I promise. Come on.”

Cady inches her feet back into her flip flops and takes Janis’ hand, following her to her mom’s car since her truck is full of all her stuff. Janis has truly mastered the art of driving one handed now, since Cady always asks to hold one.

Cady is confused when they pull up to a convenience store, but follows Janis in anyway. She’s even more confused when Janis makes a beeline for the stationary section, since they usually only stop by for snacks.

Janis looks carefully at all the calendars, before she grabs one with pictures of kittens for each month. “Pick one for me to have.” Cady looks too, picking one with different famous paintings for each month.  “Perfect.”

Janis takes both and heads to check out, leading a puzzled Cady behind her. Why are they buying calendars they can only use for a few more months?

“Do you want to go get frozen yogurt, baby?” Janis asks once they’re in the car again. Cady nods happily, excited at the idea of her favorite treat. Finally got her to smile.

—————-

Cady insists on paying for their yogurt, since she knows hers will be very expensive. She’s piled loads of popping boba, gummy worms, strawberries, and Oreos on top of her watermelon flavored frozen yogurt. Janis kept it simple with salted caramel yogurt topped with mini M&Ms.

Janis finds a bench nearby with an umbrella so they’re not in the sun. Cady sits and pulls Janis into her lap, resting her head on Janis’ shoulder as they both dig in.

“Do you want to try some of mine?” Cady asks after a few minutes, offering a spoonful to her girlfriend.

“Are you just offering because you want some of mine and you’re trying to make it fair?” Janis asks knowingly, but does take the offered bite.

“No,” Cady says sheepishly. “I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend.”

Janis chuckles around the strange mess of flavors in her mouth. “You don’t have to try to do that, Peanut. Here.” She offers Cady a bite of her own.

“Yours is good,” Cady says, finishing off her own. She winces a little at the tart flavor of the watermelon immediately after the sweetness of the caramel.

“Wanna taste it again?” Janis asks as she takes the last bite of her own.

“But you finished it,” Cady says in confusion.

“And?” Janis purrs, leaning in to kiss her and flicking her tongue against the seam of her lips. Cady gasps in understanding, so Janis takes the opportunity to brush their tongues together. After a few minutes, she breaks away. “Tastes even better this way.”

“You’re so smooth,” Cady jokes. “And sweaty, get off.”

Janis laughs and stands up, offering a hand to help Cady back up. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jay.” Cady says. The sadness is starting to come back.

“Come on, let’s go do my idea.”

————-

A few minutes later they’re back at Janis’ house, sitting on the bare floor of her bedroom. “What is this idea?”

Janis pulls out the calendars and her mom’s fancy felt-tip pens in all sorts of fun colors. She hands the paintings one to Cady and keeps the kitten one in front of her.

“You do better with visual reminders of stuff, right?” Janis asks as she picks out a dark yellow pen. Cady nods. “So, we’ll go through these and mark off when everything starts and when our breaks are, and when we’ll call each other. Then you can count off all the days until we’re together again.”

“Oh,” Cady says. “That is good.”

“I told you,” Janis teases, poking her knee with her foot. “Are you thinking of joining any clubs or anything that would meet on Saturday nights?”

“I don’t think so,” Cady says confusedly. “Why?”

“We could have video dates those days. My art club only meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I’d be free if you are,” Janis says. “We’ll still call and stuff during the week, obviously, but I think it would be good to have something scheduled.”

“That sounds good too,” Cady says. “You’re so thoughtful.”

“I try really hard,” Janis jokes, marking off every Saturday for the remaining weeks of July, along with all of August, September, and October. Janis had already made the tough decision not to come back during her fall break, so they wouldn’t be able to see each other until Thanksgiving.

Cady does the same to hers. “Now what?”

“Look up when your fall break is and mark that, and do Thanksgiving too. We’ll do something fun over Facetime on my fall break since I can’t come back,” Janis says. “And then when I’m back for Thanksgiving we’ll do this again for the next semester.”

Cady marks off her first day of classes, her fall break in October, and the start of her Thanksgiving break. Janis does the same, and makes a special mark on the day she’s flying home for Thanksgiving in November.

Cady adds cute little doodles on random days, with random ‘I love you’ reminders scattered throughout as well. Just to make Janis smile. Once they finish marking everything, they switch calendars. Janis tucks hers safely into the backpack she would be bringing on her road trip.

Cady reaches for her once they finish. Janis is leaving in just a few hours, she wants to squeeze in as many cuddles as she can before she has to go. Janis obliges, cuddling into her side and burying her face into her neck. Cady turns to face her and nuzzles her nose into her hair.

They cling to one another desperately until they both get too hot and uncomfortable to continue. Janis inches back and holds her hand instead, checking the time on her phone with the other.

“We should get to Damian’s soon,” she says quietly. “We need time to load up all of his stuff too.”

Cady pouts. Janis and Damian would be leaving directly from his house. She’d get her last kisses, hugs, and cuddles for several months there. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Janis switches out her keys, grabbing the ones for her truck and leaving the ones for her mom’s car behind. Her mom and sister would meet them at Damian’s house later to see them off, but she takes a second to look wistfully around at the house itself.

Cady clings to her hand as they walk through the yard, and snatches it back as soon as Janis gets into the driver’s seat. The smiles and getting her voice back seems to have been a temporary thing. Quiet Cady is back now, playing sadly with Janis’ rings.

-

Janis has a key to Damian’s house and can tell by the lack of car in the driveway that his mom isn’t home, so she unlocks it and throws the door open with a loud, “What’s up, fuckers?!”

Pippa, who was waiting behind the door at the sound of a key, scrambles to run to her owner in the living room for protection. Janis and Cady follow, Cady shaking her head in exasperation.

Pippa gets very excited when she sees Cady and runs back over, popping up on her hind legs to show she wants attention. Cady can barely smile even at the adorable antics of the puppy, but does bend down to pet her like always.

She carries Pippa down the hall to Damian’s bedroom, following her girlfriend and best friend. Damian has everything packed already, they just need to get the boxes into Janis’ truck.

Cady’s glad that Janis and Damian are going to the same place. As hard as it is for Janis to leave Cady, she knows having to leave Damian would have been much harder for her. She’s glad Janis and Damian have always had each other to lean on, and still get to be together.

Eventually the puppy cuddles have to take a temporary break, so she rests Pippa on Damian’s bed and grabs a box to carry out.

With the three of them working, the boxes are all where they need to be pretty quickly. Now they have about two and a half hours to kill before Janis and Damian have to hit the road.

“Should we have one last movie night?” Damian asks. Cady almost bursts into tears then, she had forgotten she’d be losing him for a while too. She nods, knowing that if she tries to speak she’s going to be completely inconsolable for the next several hours.

She sits in between both of them, trying to focus on Lilo and Stitch instead of the coming events. It just about works.

Unfortunately, the movie has to come to an end, along with their time together. Nobody speaks, but they all squish a little bit closer together.

“I love you guys,” Cady whispers, finally prompting the tears from all of them. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“We’re gonna miss you too, Little Slice,” Damian says.

Janis doesn’t say anything, just leans her head onto her girlfriend’s shoulder. She stays there for a second before she seems to remember something and leaves.

“Where are you going?” Cady asks through her tears.

“I have something for you, hold on,” Janis replies through her own. Cady cuddles more with Damian while she’s gone.

Janis comes back carrying a strangely shaped... something. “Here.”

Cady takes it and nearly drops it on her toes. “What is it?”

“It’s a weighted thing, I made it from one of my jackets,” Janis sniffs. “To help you when you get overloaded. Or just when you want cuddles.”

Upon closer inspection, it is made out of one of Janis’ decorated jackets. “This was your favorite one, why would you do that?”

“It had a rip in it anyway, there was no way I could get it back,” Janis says.

Cady squeezes it close. It smells like Janis, and her girlfriend left the sleeves on and filled them with whatever she used to weigh the body down, to simulate a hug. “I love it. Thank you, Jayjay.”

“Of course,” Janis says quietly. Damian leaves then as well, and returns with his own signature blue jacket.

“Here, you can have this too,” he chokes. Cady takes it gratefully and hugs both her new gifts close.

“Thanks, D,” she says.

Janis and Damian’s families show up in the midst of a very long, tearful goodbye hug. It’s time to go.

Cady squeezes them quickly and lets them go to their families, knowing she’ll get one last chance to say goodbye before they actually have to go. The tears keep streaming down her face as she watches Janis and Juliana say their goodbyes. Janis’ mom even brought Pancakes, and that goodbye is even more sad.

Eventually, they all head out into the yard. Janis and Cady have a moment to themselves as Damian says goodbye to his mom and Janis’ family.

Cady throws herself at her girlfriend and refuses to let go as Janis picks her up. She locks her legs around her waist and arms around her neck as they both sob quietly into each other’s shoulders.

“I don’t want you to go,” Cady weeps quietly.

“I know,” Janis murmurs back. “I don’t want to go either.”

“I love you so much,” Cady sobs. “I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna do great.”

“So are you,” Janis says, resting her back on her feet and cupping her face. “I love you so much.”

“We’re gonna be fine,” Cady says, seemingly more to comfort herself than Janis. “You’ll come back.”

“Always. I’ll always come back to you. In November,” Janis chokes in response. “I promise.”

“Will you text me or call me when you’re not driving?” Cady asks, cuddling into her shoulder again.

“Of course,” Janis sniffs. “I’ll keep you updated.”

“Okay,” Cady sobs in reply. “This is the worst, I hate goodbyes.”

“I know, I hate this too,” Janis sobs. “Come here.”

They both lean in for a kiss, trying to convey all their love and sorrow through it. Their tears mingle on their cheeks, and they can both taste the salt on one another’s lips. Every once in a while one pulls back to choke out another sob, but the other pulls them back in quickly.

Eventually they do have to break apart to breathe again. Cady murmurs ‘I love you’ in every language she knows. Damian calls Janis over then, they really do have to get going.

“I love you, Bluejay,” Cady says, kissing her one last time.

“I love you too, Butterfly,” Janis says back. “Good-“

“No. Don’t-don’t say that,” Cady insists. “This time it really isn’t a goodbye. You’re coming back. This is a farewell.”

“Okay. Farewell, Cady Heron,” Janis says as she climbs into the passenger side. She and Damian had decided that he would drive first. Janis knew she would probably be crying too hard to drive safely.

“Farewell, Janis Sarkisian,” Cady says, kissing her cheek through the window before she steps back to stand by their families.

Juliana clings to Cady as Damian and Janis drive off. Cady clings to her just as tightly, both of them crying into each other. Everyone waves at the truck until it’s out of sight.

-

Cady spends the rest of the day with their families, wanting their company to distract herself from her feelings. She plays Just Dance and a few card games with Juliana to keep them both busy.

A few hours after they’ve left, Cady’s phone pings with a text from Janis. It’s a very blurry picture of the sign marking the border to Indiana.

“Is that them?” Julie asks.

“Mmhmm. They’re in Indiana now,” Cady says, turning the phone so she can see the picture. “Janis says she’s taking over driving, but she’ll let us know when they stop again.”

“How far away is your school?” Julie asks quietly.

“Only about two hours, it’s in Champaign,” Cady answers, replying to Janis’ message before she deals a new hand for their game. “Why?”

“You can come back more often,” Julie says. “I don’t want to be alone, now that Janny’s gone.”

Cady almost starts crying again. “Of course. Your mom got you a phone, right?”

“Uhhuh,” Julie says, digging into her pocket and pulling it out. Cady takes it and enters her contact information.

“There. If something happens or you get lonely just tell me and I’ll come back,” Cady promises. “Do you have Janis and Damian’s numbers too?”

Julie nods. “Thanks, Cady.”

Cady grins at her. “No problem, kiddo.”

————-

Cady stays with their families until sunset, when her parents tell her she needs to come home. Janis has continually texted her throughout the day, sending pictures of cute birds she finds at rest stops or strange things she sees out the windows.

Cady is about to turn in for the night when her phone pings one last time.

bluejay: caddy caddy

butterfly: What what?

bluejay: oh we made it to my family’s place btw we’re about halfway thru ohio

bluejay: but vera and her friends took us around to see stuff and there’s a massive field of fucking concrete corn

butterfly: What?

bluejay: Sent a picture: ive never been more afraid in my life

butterfly: That’s so weird, why couldn’t they just have actual corn there?

bluejay: i don’t know!!!! i’m scared i’m gonna get murked here but vera says ppl take prom pics with them and shit

butterfly: How tall are they?

bluejay: i think they’re about six feet they’re not that much taller than me

butterfly: Huh. How weird.

bluejay: ikr

bluejay: what are you up to babes ?

butterfly: Sent a picture: Sleepy 📷️

bluejay: aww. i miss you so much already baby

butterfly: I miss you so much, love. I have my cuddle thing you made me and I just crossed off my calendar for the day 📷📷

bluejay: oh i’ll go do that once vera finds her gfs

bluejay: goodnight peanut i love you

butterfly: Goodnight, Jayjay, I love you too

Cady shuts off her phone and plugs it in, turning onto her side and staring at the calendar she pinned to the wall. She tries to look at the cute kittens in party hats and not the word ‘JULY’ in large letters, taunting her just below it. She buries her face into the cushion, inhaling Janis’ lingering scent, and gently cries herself to sleep.

————-

Very late the next evening, she gets a text from Janis letting her know they’ve made it safely to their apartment in New York, and they’re going to get to work unpacking everything the next morning.

With the new time difference, Janis is an hour ahead of her, so they wake up at roughly the same time, now. Janis texts her around ten Cady’s time to ask if she wants to Facetime while she gets started unpacking.

Cady, obviously, agrees immediately. A call from Janis comes through, and Cady hits the green button to accept it.

“Hey, love,” she greets. “How’s the big apple?”

“Big,” Janis responds. “Here, look.” Cady can see her shuffle out of her new bed and over to the window, and then the camera flips around to show off Janis’ view.

“Wow,” Cady says. “That’s beautiful.”

“I think my view is more beautiful,” Janis flirts. “I miss you.”

“I miss you,” Cady responds sadly. “But hey, we’re already two and a half days down until we’re back together!”

“Look at you, little miss optimist,” Janis chuckles. “What are you up to?”

“Art, kind of, actually,” Cady says happily. “I got all my stuff for school yesterday, I’m decorating my notebooks.”

“Lemme see,” Janis says excitedly, sitting on her floor and opening a box. Cady flips around her own camera to show the lion she’s painting onto the cover of her yellow notebook. “Cute! I like it.”

They continue to chat lightly as they both work, and it almost feels like they’re back together again. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Cady hears a quiet gasp as Janis opens another box.

“Baby,” she says quietly. “You gave me your jacket?”

“Yeah,” Cady says shyly. “I wanted you to have something physical of mine. Turns out we had similar ideas.” She watches Janis read the little note she hid inside and the smile grow on her face.

“Thank you, Butterfly,” Janis says. She wraps the soft blue and yellow fabric around her shoulders and continues unpacking the rest of her clothes.

“You’re welcome, Bluejay,” Cady replies. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Peanut,” Janis says.

—————

About a month later, Cady is officially moved into her dorm and ready for her first day of classes. Janis doesn’t start her own until Wednesday, so she still has time to get everything ready.

On Monday morning, Cady wakes up to a text from her girlfriend. It’s eight in the morning her time, so Janis must have woken up extra early just to say hi.

bluejay: good luck at class butterfly. have a great first day 📷📷

butterfly: Thanks, Jellybean. I love you 📷️📷️

bluejay: i love you more. tell me all about it when you get back go be smart

Cady sends back a thumbs up and kissy emoji, then shuts her phone off and heads down to the bathrooms to get ready.

-

On Wednesday, she does the same for Janis. Janis’ classes are all in the afternoon, but Cady sends her a sweet text at around eleven to wish her luck.

butterfly: Good luck today, my love. You’re gonna do brilliant things and I can’t wait to see them 📷

Janis sends back a picture of her making a peace sign but with her eyes brimming with tears. Cady replies to that with a picture of her making a kissy face and an apology for making her cry, and they text back and forth while Janis gets ready and Cady has her lunch.

-

On Saturday, they have their first date over video chat. Cady puts on a nicer outfit even though she’s just sitting at her desk in her dorm. Regina is away at a party for the night, so she’s got privacy to talk to her love.

At the agreed time (which Cady had spent a very long time confirming Janis knew, even with the time difference), she opens her laptop and brings up Facetime, shuffling her short hair as she sends the call through. Her eyebrows shoot up as her girlfriend comes into view. The formerly blonde ends of her hair are…

“Blue! I mean, hi!” She says, pointing to the screen before she remembers that Janis can’t see what she’s pointing to.

Janis laughs at her reaction. “Hey, Peanut. I got bored and bought a bunch of colors of temporary dye, Damian helped me do it. What do you think?”

“It looks really good,” Cady says. Janis notices her brow furrowing and her lips going into a thin line.

“You wanna touch it, don’t you?” She asks. Cady nods crankily. “Soon. I’ll dye it blue again when I come back.”

“How long does it last?” Cady asks. “It really suits you.”

“Only about a week, it’s kind of like paint. I’m glad you like it,” Janis replies. “Anyway, how was your first week?”

“Good! My classes are actually a bit easier than I was expecting,” Cady chirps happily. “And my professors are really nice. It’s just kind of hard to remember where everything is, still. How has yours been?”

“Not bad,” Janis shrugs. “School is fine, but I miss you. Damian and I have been walking around to get used to the city, and I keep finding places you’d love and then I remember you’re so far away and I can’t actually take you there.”

Cady frowns. “Maybe I’ll have to come to you a few times, then you can show me around.”

Janis grins back. “Yeah, that would be great. Honestly, I think you’d really like it in the city. It’s big and kind of overwhelming, but once you’re used to it it’s just like you’re in your own little pocket. And then you travel to other pockets.”

“It does sound fun,” Cady giggles. “Has your art club started yet?”

“No, it’s not ‘til next week,” Janis says. “But a bunch of people in it are in my classes too, so I got to meet some of them. They all seem chill, I’m excited.”

“Good,” Cady smiles. “I’m glad.”

“How’s having Reginald for a roommate been treating you?” Janis asks. “I see a lot of pink already.”

“Yeah, trying to mesh us is a little tricky,” Cady giggles. “A lot of pink and then a lot of my tribal patterns from Africa. But really, she’s actually been a good roommate so far. She doesn’t even complain about my nightlight thingy you got me.”

“Good,” Janis grins. “God, I miss you so much. I want snuggles.”

“I miss you too,” Cady says. “But it’s August now! We made it a whole month already, now we just have… a few more to get through.”

“I’m really glad you’re an optimist, babe,” Janis chuckles. “I love you.”

Cady leans in to kiss her laptop camera, and once Janis catches on she does the same. “I love you too.”

————-

In October, Cady makes special plans for Janis’ birthday. She switched her location to the city to order some sushi for Janis’ dinner to their apartment, and sent a bit of money to Damian for streamers. It’s a Thursday, so Janis has her art club and won’t be home until late.

She gets to talk to Damian while he sets everything up, happy to catch up with her best friend. He’s just blowing up the final balloon when Janis enters. Cady quickly dons the party hat she purchased and grabs her party popper.

“Aww, Dame,” Janis says happily, not having noticed Cady on the screen yet. “Cute.”

“Wasn’t me,” Damian shrugs, slightly out of breath from blowing up all the balloons himself.

“You’re the only one here,” Janis says confusedly. “Ooh, sushi, yay!”

“That definitely wasn’t me,” Damian says. “For fucks sake, get over here.”

“What?” Janis asks around a mouthful of salmon maki roll, coming to sit by him on their crappy little couch. “Oh!”

Cady pulls the string on her party popper, making a louder bang than she was expecting and causing her to yelp as the confetti all rains down on her. “Happy birthday, love!”

Janis laughs. “Thanks, Peanut! Did you do all this?”

“Uhhuh! I hope that sushi place is good, it had the best reviews,” Cady says. “Thanks for the help, D.”

“Anytime,” Damian says. “Cads, do you have your stuff?”

“Yep!” Cady chirps, grabbing her favorite blanket and a bowl of popcorn, climbing up to her top bunk in her bed.

“What’s going on?” Janis asks in confusion, around yet another mouthful of sushi.

“We’re having a movie night! Damian and I figured out how to do it,” Cady says happily. “You get to pick the movie, birthday girl.”

“Can I pick a horror movie?” Janis asks. It’s already a bit late, and Cady typically needs a minimum of one happy movie after any scary one to be able to sleep. Janis usually has to cuddle her, too, but she can’t exactly do that from a different state.

“Sure,” Cady replies anxiously. Maybe Regina will let her sleep in her bunk. Almost definitely not, but maybe. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Compromise, I wanna watch Coraline,” Janis says. “That’s… almost a horror movie but not quite.”

“Okay,” Damian chuckles. He pulls it up and shares the screen with Cady. It’s nowhere near as good as their real movie nights, but it’s better than nothing. They still get to stay up way too late on a school night and eat more popcorn than should ever be consumed in one sitting.

Cady is thoroughly spooked by the time they all have to hang up, but Regina offers a mug of her favorite calming tea to help her sleep and begrudgingly agrees to tuck her in. Cady drifts off clinging to her homemade cuddle buddy and wrapped tightly in her blankets.

————-

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Cady gets a very late night text from Janis.

bluejay: peanut

bluejay: i’m really sorry

Cady instantly replies, trying not to panic.

butterfly: What’s the matter?

bluejay: i can’t come home for thanksgiving

bluejay: the airline just canceled our tickets out of nowhere and they don’t have any other replacements. everywhere else is booked too

butterfly: No

butterfly: You said Thanksgiving. You have to come back

bluejay: i know

bluejay: i can’t change it i’m sorry. dame and i looked everywhere

butterfly: Look again

butterfly: Please Jay

bluejay: okay i’ll check one more time

Janis checks every single airline for any available ticket. Everywhere is booked until after her break.

bluejay: i’m sorry baby there’s literally nothing

bluejay: i miss you so much i want to come back and see you

bluejay: baby ??

Cady’s been crying too hard to see her keyboard.

butterfly: You promosed

Cady never makes typos. Janis brings up her contact and calls her immediately, frowning when Cady declines.

bluejay: baby please

bluejay: i don’t have any control over this

bluejay: you know i’d walk back if i could

bluejay: baby please at least answer me

Janis suddenly gets a text from Regina, of all people.

reginald: What the hell have you done?

reginald: Cady’s, like, losing it. I think she’s having a shutdown.

snarkisian: my flight home got cancelled

snarkisian: is she okay ??? she won’t answer me

reginald: I think she’s too upset to notice you’re trying to get ahold of her. She’s crying really hard. And she won’t come out from under her blanket.

snarkisian: god caddy

snarkisian: can you ask her quietly if she’d be able to talk to me if you answered the phone ?? she’s probably too upset to move but i might be able to help her calm down

reginald: She said yes. Or nodded, at least. I would help but I don’t know what to do, I’ve never seen her like this.

snarkisian: i haven’t either but she told me what helps her. i’ve only seen her have a meltdown

snarkisian: just watch what i do ig

She pulls up Cady’s contact again, and this time there’s an answer. It’s Regina’s concerned face, but she quickly sticks the phone into Cady’s little blanket cave so Janis can see her instead.

“Hey, Butterfly,” Janis says sadly when she sees Cady’s face. She’s stimming aggressively but very slowly, and even in the darkness Janis can see the tear tracks on her face. “Baby, I’m so sorry, I want to come back. So bad, I miss you. I want to hold you and kiss you and never let go.”

Cady sobs a few times, hard. She gasps for breath in between each. Janis notices she’s getting more upset and stimming harder, wringing her hands back and forth. Her skin is turning white with each twist.

“Do you have your weighted blanket?” Janis asks. Cady manages to shake her head. “Would it help?” She nods. “Okay. Reggie?”

“Yeah?” Regina calls from outside their little cocoon.

“There should be a weighted blanket wherever she keeps her clothes. It’s blue and has little flowers on it, can you give that to her?” Janis asks. Cady flinches at the volume of their voices and covers her ears.

“I’ll try,” Regina says. It might mean sleeping on a heating pad due to an aggravated back, but if it helps her friend, it’s worth it. Huh, maybe I really am a decent person now.

She finds a blanket that matches the description tucked in the bottom drawer of Cady’s dresser. With a good deal of effort, she hauls it out and hefts it up onto Cady’s bunk. Cady pokes her red, teary face out from her other blanket and grabs the weighted one, wrapping it around herself like a cloak. Janis can see her breathe a little sigh of relief at the pressure.

“Where’s your thing I made you?” Janis asks quietly again. Cady pokes an arm out to grab her cuddle buddy, resting it on her lap. The extra weight helps even more. “Deep breaths, Peanut.”

Cady nods and listens, taking some deep breaths in and out between her sobs. Regina helps by dimming the lights in their room and turning on Cady’s nightlight that paints colorful stars on the ceiling. Cady said that she just kind of has to wait shutdowns out, and that she almost never gets them anymore. Janis feels terrible that she caused one, even inadvertently.

She stays on the phone and Regina waits nearby anxiously until Cady sort of recovers nearly an hour later. She’s stopped crying and her stimming has picked up speed again.

“Are you okay, baby?” Janis asks quietly. Cady shakes her head. “I know. Are you feeling a little better, at least?” Cady nods. “Good. I’m so sorry, Butterfly.”

“‘S not your fault,” Cady chokes. “‘’M sorry.”

“No, Peanut, don’t be sorry,” Janis says. “I’m sorry this happened. Reggie, she has a calendar on her desk, can you grab that?”

Regina does, passing it and a pen to Cady in silence and climbing back into her own bed. She’s still within earshot, but she would very much like to go back to bed now that her roommate is okay.

Cady flips to November and aggressively scratches out the week of Thanksgiving. Stupid airlines.

“I’ll book my tickets home for Christmas now, you can mark those off instead,” Janis says. Cady watches her eyes shift as she browses the available flights home. “There. I’ll be back on the fifteenth.”

Janis actually booked a flight for the tenth. Her break is remarkably long, luckily for her. Maybe she’ll surprise Cady. She watches Cady take her pen and mark off December fifteenth with a sad grin.

“Okay. I love you,” Cady says quietly once it’s been done.

“I love you too, Peanut,” Janis says. She leans in for a camera kiss, and Cady does the same. “Call me every day of your break so we can still talk, okay? I can’t wait to see you.”

Cady nods slowly, lethargic from her shutdown. “It’s late, go to bed.”

“You go to bed,” Janis retaliates childishly.

“I’m in bed,” Cady replies, holding the phone to show her nest on her bunk.

“Ugh, you know what I mean,” Janis groans with a chuckle. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

“Night, love. Sleep well,” Cady says, nestling into bed and leaning in for one more camera kiss.

“You too,” Janis replies, returning it. One more month.

————-

The next morning, Janis texts Regina. Her help will be vital if she wants to make Cady’s surprise actually good.

snarkisian: reggieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

reginald: Christ. What do you want, Jan?

snarkisian: for u to stop using proper punctuation and capitalization in text first of all

snarkisian: but i lied to caddy i’m actually coming back on the tenth

snarkisian: can u help me surprise her ????

reginald: Lord, it never ends with you two.

snarkisian: stahp

snarkisian: just try. end ur next one without a period. i bet u can’t

reginald: I hate you

snarkisian: eyyy

reginald: Are we surprising your girlfriend or not?

snarkisian: oh yeah oops

snarkisian: all i should need is a way into ur dorm. i can get an uber there from the airport

reginald: I’ll pay for it. What time are you coming in?

snarkisian: OWO reggie being nice ???

snarkisian: i should land around one your time so i’ll be there a bit after that

reginald: I do actually care about you two, against my better judgement. I’ll come back between classes and let you in. Her last class that day ends at three.

snarkisian: tits thanks reggie

snarkisian: love u

reginald: Ugh.

Janis grins at her phone as Regina ends their conversation. She never thought she’d have banter like that with her again. Time to plan.

—————-

Janis writes out a note as she sits next to Damian on the plane. He fell asleep almost immediately after they took off, but Janis knows he’s also very excited to see Cady and their families.

Janis picks her pen back up and continues writing after a quick glance at his snoring face.

Dear Butterfly,

Hi, baby. I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve missed holding you and getting all your kisses and cuddles. I miss trying to count your freckles and seeing your beautiful eyes up close. Cameras and jackets can only do so much, I guess.

I’ll be back before you know it and won’t have to let you go until January. I can’t wait. I’ll see you soon, Peanut.

Love, Jayjay

P.S. Turn around ;)

That should do it. A bit short, but it’ll get her message across well enough. She only has a couple more hours until she’s reunited with her love.

——————-

She bids Damian a farewell as they get their bags. He’s going directly back to Evanston, but Janis is sneakily staying in Cady and Regina’s room until their own break begins and then heading back with the two of them. They’re breaking a few campus rules, but nobody should have to know.

Regina meets her outside their dorm, which had taken Janis absolutely forever to find. She’d eventually had to stop and ask someone after Googling the name of it no fewer than seven times.

“Hey, art freak,” Regina greets, swiping her ID card to get into the building. Janis comes shuffling up in all her snow gear and lugging her suitcase behind her.

“Hey, Reginald,” Janis replies.

“Is that seriously still your contact name for me? You’ve had that since sixth grade,” Regina grumbles.

“You know it,” Janis says as they get into the rickety elevator. “I don’t like this.”

“It’s a little scary the first few times. You get used to it,” Regina shrugs. “Hasn’t fallen yet.”

“Oh, that fills me with so much confidence,” Janis grumbles under her breath.

“See? You survived,” Regina says. “This is it.” She pulls out a key and sticks it in the door, opening to a small room. Bunk beds, two desks, two dressers. That’s about it, but it’s been personalized with Cady and Regina’s own styles. It’s cute.

“Aww. Cute,” Janis grins. Cady has a bulletin board hung up over her desk, with her calendar and so many photos of all her friends and family pinned to it. The fifteenth has been decorated with several tiny hearts and exclamation points. Janis is also on the bulletin board most frequently, with Damian as a close second.

“Can I trust you alone here? I have a late class,” Regina says, grabbing her backpack and heading back towards the door. “Cady’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Yes, I can be trusted,” Janis groans. “Thanks, Reggie.”

“Stop calling me that!” Regina yells, already down the hall.

“Never!” Janis calls back. The door clicks shut after Regina, so Janis sets herself up for the surprise. She takes off her coat, sticking it and her suitcase under the bed and out of sight. It takes a bit of pushing, but eventually she makes it fit.

Then, she folds up the note she wrote and writes ‘Caddy’ on it with a heart and puts it on Cady’s desk for her to find, before deciding to hide in the nearby tiny storage closet. Regina said it would only be a few minutes, she can make it that long.

-

Janis grins widely as she hears her girlfriend in the hallway, trying not to make any noise from her hiding spot.

She peeks through the gap as Cady enters and takes off her coat. Cady suddenly notices the note on her desk. While she’s occupied reading it, Janis takes the time to step out and stand behind her. Cady reads the end and whirls around.

“Janis!” She yells, running to her and pitching herself into her arms. Janis stumbles back when her girlfriend rockets into her, but recovers quickly and holds her close. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t come back until next week!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Janis chuckles. She hears Cady sniffle and feels tears soak into her shoulder. “Why are you crying?”

“I missed you so much,” Cady sobs. “You’re so much better than a pillow.”

“Aww, Peanut,” Janis coos. Her arms are getting a little tired, so she goes to sit on the bed. Regina technically has the bottom bunk, but she doesn’t have to know. Cady refuses to let her go, actually locking tighter around her now that they’re seated. “I missed you so, so much.”

Cady pulls back but doesn’t unlock herself, wiping her tears away and cupping Janis’ face. She stares intently at her and brushes her thumbs over her cheeks so softly.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers. Suddenly she whacks Janis’ arm gently. “You stinker! You tricked me!”

“To surprise you, ow!” Janis laughs. “You seemed so sad, I figured this might cheer you up.”

“I haven’t seen you in five months, of course I’ve been sad,” Cady says quietly. “You’ve been here for so long and haven’t kissed me yet.”

Janis grins and pulls her in, tangling a hand in Cady’s hair and gripping her waist with the other. Cady runs her hands up and down Janis’ back before eventually settling on her shoulders. They both sigh in relief at the warmth of each other, finally feeling each other’s grip and the soft texture of one another’s lips.

“So much better than kissing a camera,” Janis mumbles happily.

“Definitely,” Cady giggles. “How long are you here?”

“I have to go back on the fourth, my classes start again on the sixth,” Janis shrugs. “We have almost a full month together.”

“Yay,” Cady says happily. “Does your family know you’re back?”

“No, I’m staying here until you guys go back. But they might find out before then, Dame already went back,” Janis shrugs.

“You criminal,” Cady gasps jokingly. “Staying here against the rules, how dare.”

“I know, it’s terribly scandalous,” Janis chuckles. She starts poking random places on Cady’s face gently, then follows them with kisses.

“What are you doing?” Cady giggles.

“Your freckles,” Janis says between little pecks. “I’m trying to memorize where they are, they don’t show up as well on camera.”

“Mm,” Cady hums in understanding. “Tickles.”

“Sorry,” Janis breathes. “What should we do?”

Cady pulls back and hauls Janis up with her, then crawls up onto her own bed. Janis comes up after her, having to be careful of bonking her head against the ceiling.

“Snuggles. Right now,” Cady demands, getting comfy on her side and reaching for her.

“Bossy,” Janis snorts, but obliges without complaint. She tucks herself against Cady’s chest and pulls herself closer. “This is a nice sweater.”

“Thanks, I just bought it the other day,” Cady chuckles in response. “Your hair is blue again.”

“I know, what do you think?” Janis asks, shaking it out gently so Cady can feel. “I had it green last week, I had to dye it back for you.”

Cady sticks her hands into it and fiddles with the ends happily. “It’s so soft!”

“Thanks,” Janis giggles at her reaction. “It’s basically colored conditioner, so it’s been doing me a lot of favors.”

Cady cuddles back in, but doesn’t take her hands out of her hair. “Do you have purple?”

“Yeah, I do,” Janis replies. “I’ll do that one next week, you wanna help?” Cady nods eagerly. “And your hair grew, you look cute.”

“Thanks!” Cady chirps happily. Her hair has grown out to her shoulders now, and is still as curly as ever. “God, I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I am too,” Janis grins. Cady squeals in surprise as she rolls over onto her back and pulls Cady on top of her. “How’s my math genius been doing here?”

Cady smiles against her neck. “As good as I can without you. I think I’m most of my professors’ favorite student. Oh, and I had a meeting with my advisor the other day, and they said I’m still on track to graduate after next year.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Janis grins happily, running her fingers through Cady’s curls. She still uses the cherry shampoo. “I’m surprised your head hasn’t exploded yet. How do you have room for all those brains?”

Cady chuckles again and leans up on her elbows. “You’re one to talk. So many art techniques rattling around in there.”

“And very little else,” Janis replies. Cady flicks her ear gently.

“You’re brilliant, shush your face,” she frowns.

“Make me,” Janis teases.

“Happily,” Cady smirks, leaning down to press their lips together again.

————-

On Christmas Eve, Cady sneaks out of her house and over to Janis’. She left her parents a note and sets an alarm so she can be back in time for presents anyway.

Janis doesn’t have a tree she can climb, so she picks up all the little pebbles she finds on the way to pitch at her window instead. Cady could just text to wake her up, but this is more romantic.

It only takes four rocks for Janis’ face to appear in the window, bleary eyes looking out into the yard to see who’s out there. She grins happily when she sees Cady and disappears suddenly to go let her in.

“What are you doing here?” She murmurs when she has her back in her arms.

“It’s Christmas,” Cady shrugs. “Or nearly, anyway. All I want is to be with you, and you’re close enough now that I can.”

“No, I appreciate that,” Janis replies, scooping her up and carrying her inside. “But it’s, like, ten degrees outside and you’re just in your pajamas and you also walked over here alone at night.”

“You don’t live that far,” Cady shrugs, but now that Janis brings it up she is absolutely freezing.

“It’s a ten minute walk, Butterfly,” Janis chuckles. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Cady yawns when Janis carries her past the stairs and down the hall.

“I can feel you shivering, let’s go have hot chocolate,” Janis responds, shifting her grip and then resting her on the counter.

“Oh,” Cady says happily. “Okay.”

Janis pours some milk into mugs and puts them in the microwave, then returns to her girlfriend. Cady grins as Janis cups her face and leans in, wrapping her legs around Janis’ waist and pulling her closer. They lose themselves in the bliss of one another, in kiss after kiss.

Until the microwave beeps and Janis has to scramble to stop it before it wakes up her family. She manages after just two beeps, Cady giggling quietly from her perch on the counter as she removes the warm mugs and adds in the cocoa, then a touch of cinnamon and some marshmallows. She puts crushed candy canes in her own, leaving Cady’s plain since she hates mint.

“Thank you, my love,” Cady says when Janis passes hers over, cradling the toasty drink in both hands and taking a small sip. It almost burns her tongue, but she’s so cold from her journey over that it actually feels nice. Janis pops up on the counter next to her and leans her head on her shoulder.

Cady laces their fingers together and leans her head against Janis’ with a few gentle kisses to her hair. They both take small sips of their tasty drinks, feeling the peace of the holiday as they’re alone together in a dark kitchen in the middle of the night.

“Merry Christmas, Peanut,” Janis murmurs when the clock on the stove hits midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Jayjay,” Cady mutters back. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janis says, finishing off her cocoa. Cady downs the rest of hers and hands her mug over, then clings to Janis as she comes to scoop her back off the counter.

“Surprised you made it up this late,” Janis murmurs. “Midnight’s impressive for you.”

“I know,” Cady yawns. “You make good hot chocolate. ‘M sleepy.”

“Thank you,” Janis chuckles. She rests Cady on her bed and crawls in after her, grinning happily when her girlfriend latches back onto her like an adorable octopus. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

“Night night, Bluejay,” Cady mumbles back, drifting off almost immediately in her girlfriend’s warm embrace.

————-

The next afternoon, they meet at Cady’s house to do their gift exchange with Damian. Janis had driven Cady back home in the wee hours of the morning, so their families were none the wiser that they had spent the night together.

Damian opens his presents first, getting a signed Cabaret playbill from Janis and several new pairs of fun socks for his collection from Cady.

Janis goes next. Damian got her some new jackets to customize (to make up for the one sacrificed to make Cady’s special cuddle cushion). Cady’s gift is smaller, and Janis opens a fancy box to reveal a charm bracelet.

It’s mostly empty, but there’s one fancy-looking gem and one half of a heart, similar to the split necklaces she has with Damian.

“I know it’s not really your style,” Cady says nervously. “But I figured you could fill it up however you want. And you don’t have to wear it. I have the other heart charm, I just have to find something to put it on.”

“I’ll wear it forever, back off,” Janis says protectively, fastening it around her wrist. “I love it.”

“Oh, good,” Cady breathes. It’s finally her turn to open her own presents. Damian surprises her with her plane ticket to New York to stay with them for spring break. “No way!”

“You said you wanted to come see New York,” Janis responds with a giggle as Cady tackles Damian in a hug. He hugs her tightly for a while before letting her go to open her present from Janis.

Once again, it seems that Janis and Cady have had similar ideas. “Chains?” Cady asks confusedly.

“For your necklace,” Janis replies. “For Rhys. You can try them all and figure out which ones you can handle, there’s a bunch of different ones. And if none of them work then I’ll take you to the shop when you come visit us and you can pick some to try.”

Cady has two very important necklaces that she can’t wear due to the chains. One is a locket containing some of her brother’s ashes, and the other is a charm with his thumbprint etched into it. Janis figured she can move both charms to one chain once they figure out which one she can use.

Janis frowns in concern when she sees her girlfriend’s eyes brimming with tears, but Cady just rockets herself into her arms and kisses her neck a few times.

“Thank you,” she chokes softly. “So much.”

“Of course, baby. I know how bad you want to wear them, we’ll figure out a way for you to,” Janis murmurs in reply, holding her close.

Cady reaches for Damian too, so he comes over and squishes both of them in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas,” Cady says quietly.

“Merry Christmas!” Damian cheers. “I love you guys.”

“Oh! That reminds me!” Cady says suddenly, wiggling her way out of the cuddle and running to turn the lights off. They’re illuminated only by the lights on the tree until Cady grabs her phone and turns on the flashlight. “Gimme your wrist, Jay.”

Janis reaches the one with the bracelet over to her in confusion. Cady spins it until the charm with the gem is found, then presses the light to the underside.

“Whoa,” Janis whispers. The dark walls are now illuminated with writing in several languages. She looks around until she finds one she recognizes.

“It says ‘I love you’ in a bunch of different languages,” Cady says just as she finds English. “Here, hold it.”

Janis takes the light and continues holding it to the gem, and Cady runs to the wall to point out all the languages. “It’s technically from China, so they might not be perfect. But this is Spanish, ‘Te quiero’, and this is Swahili,” she says excitedly, having to stand on her tippy toes to reach it. “‘Nakupenda’, and over here is Swedish, ‘Jag älskar dig’.”

She continues running around and pointing to them all excitedly, having to jump to reach certain ones or stand on her tippy toes for others. Janis is amazed that she can recognize and pronounce them all, even the languages she doesn’t speak.

Cady turns the lights back on and sits back down once all of them have been pointed out. Damian and Janis had just let her have at it. It’s quite entertaining, watching her run around and chatter about one of her interests.

“Thanks, babe,” Janis chuckles as a panting Cady plops down in between them. “That’s really sweet. And your explanation was very informative.”

“Thank you,” Cady puffs. “Now, what Christmas movies are you going to introduce me to this year?”

Damian’s eyes suddenly light up and he gasps dramatically. “We never did Elf!”

“Fuck!” Janis says when she remembers that unfortunate fact. “Cads, come on, we have to do this now. This is vital.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles, moving them to the couch. She hands Damian the remote and Janis the blankets so they can get everything ready, then heads into the kitchen herself to get their munchies.

She comes back to a full-on blanket fort and a movie waiting for them, handing over the towering plate of cookies and mugs of hot chocolate. Janis pulls her in close and cuddles Cady between herself and Damian.

Best Christmas yet, Cady thinks to herself as the movie begins.

————-

In January, Janis and Damian are officially returned to New York and Cady heads back to school.

Two weeks in, she catches a miserable cold. Apparently it circulates every year, known as the college plague. Regina let her have the dorm room and was spending the nights with friends so she could avoid it as much as possible.

Cady doesn’t want to let Janis know she’s sick, so she hauls herself out of her bed and down to the desk for their weekly Facetime date. Seeing Janis will make her feel better anyway.

“Hey, Peanut,” Janis says happily as soon as her girlfriend comes into view on screen, but it quickly turns into a frown. Cady is bundled in Damian’s blue hoodie, and already wearing her glasses instead of contacts. Janis can also see her bed is unmade and covered with tissues, and spies a bottle of medicine off to the side.

“Hi, Jay,” Cady says, trying to keep the slight croak out of her pained voice. “How are you?”

“Absolutely not,” Janis says. “Go get in bed.”

“What?” Cady says confusedly. “Why?”

“Baby, I can tell you’re miserable, go get in bed,” Janis insists. “Talk to me there, you should be lying down.”

“I’m fine,” Cady says. Janis raises an eyebrow. “Ugh, okay.”

Cady unplugs the computer rests it on her bed, plugging it back into the other outlet before she crawls back into bed. Janis was right, being in bed is much better. She props herself up on her pillows and covers herself with her blanket, then rests the computer with Janis still watching in concern on her lap.

“Much better,” Janis smiles. “What did you catch, Butterfly?”

“It’s just a cold,” Cady says with a sniffle. “I’ll be fine in a couple days.”

Janis pouts. “Poor Peanut. Have you eaten? And are you drinking water?”

Cady holds up her water bottle. “Yes, of course. I haven’t eaten dinner yet, but it’s fine. I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Okay,” Janis says. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, love,” Cady says. Suddenly, she sneezes violently a couple times. Janis chuckles, she’s always found Cady’s sneezes adorable. Cady pouts as she blows her nose. “Don’ laugh a’ me.”

“Sorry, Butterfly,” Janis says. “You should rest, baby.”

“No,” Cady frowns. “Don’t hang up, I’m fine.”

“I won’t,” Janis says. “If you’re sure you’re okay.”

Cady nods. “How has your week been?”

“Good, actually,” Janis says a bit quieter. She has a sneaky plan to get Cady to rest. Cady loves her voice, so if she just keeps talking, maybe she’ll go to sleep. “My new portrait professor is really funny, and he makes everything so easy to understand.”

“Good,” Cady grins.

“Yeah, he’s really nice,” Janis says. “And he’s gay, he’s got a husband and kids. He always draws one of them whenever he has to do a model or give an example, it’s really cute.”

“Aww,” Cady says, trying to hide a yawn. Janis has noticed she’s sliding down her pillows slightly and definitely noticed the stifled yawn. Cady rests the laptop next to her and turns onto her side, taking her glasses off and cuddling in with her blankets. Nearly there.

“And I got a new assignment to draw more natural stuff from one of my other classes, so Damian and I have been going to Central Park a lot,” Janis continues, grinning as Cady’s eyes start to flutter shut. “It’s cold, but it’s really pretty all covered in snow and stuff. Hopefully everything will be green by the time you’re here, though.”

Cady grins a little at the reminder that they’ll be back together in March, and that she gets to see New York for the first time ever. She doesn’t say anything, just continues letting Janis talk and lull her to sleep.

Janis continues rambling about all her art and what she and Damian have been up to until she sees Cady’s eyes flutter shut and her chest begin to rise and fall evenly. She’s snoring ever so gently, since she’s so congested from her cold.

Janis did promise not to hang up, so she reaches to grab her sketchbook. Cady snoozes and Janis sketches her, penciling in all her freckles and stroking out her long eyelashes as they rest on her cheeks.

Cady still hasn’t woken up after a rather long time, even when Janis finishes drawing her messy curls and shading her red nose. Janis sends a text to Regina asking her to drop some food off for Cady, and then unfortunately has to hang up.

“Sleep well, Peanut,” she whispers. “I love you.”

She shoots Cady a text for her to find when she wakes up and closes the screen.

————-

In February, Cady’s birthday comes around. All she really wants is some cuddles from Janis and Damian, but it’s just unreasonable to expect them to come back for one day.

Instead, she’s surprised to open the door to her dorm room and find it completely covered in balloons and streamers. Regina fires off a rather large confetti cannon as soon as she enters, making them both shriek in surprise at the loud bang and entirely too much confetti rain down from the ceiling. A few pieces actually get stuck hanging from it, or lost in lampshades.

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Regina calls once they’ve both recovered. “Shit.”

“Regina, oh my god,” Cady laughs, pointing to a completely busted ceiling lamp. “This is… wow.”

“Janis did it,” Regina shrugs. “I blame her.”

“Sorry!” A voice rings out from the desk. “I didn’t read the measurements right. Turns out that size is for outdoor use only.”

“Hey, love!” Cady laughs, coming to greet her girlfriend on Facetime. “Thanks for the rest of it! But now we have to pay for that light.”

“I’ll get that too, it’s my bad,” Janis winces. “Happy birthday, baby!”

“Thanks,” Cady says. “Oh, hi Damian!”

“Hey, Caddy,” Damian greets, leaning in next to Janis. There’s a bowl of what looks suspiciously like popcorn on his lap. “Happy birthday, I miss you!”

“I miss you too, D,” Cady says. “One more month!”

“Yeah!” He cheers, leaning back over to his spot.

“Okay, go get comfy,” Regina demands, pointing to her bed.

“What’s happening?” Cady asks confusedly, but listens, going to grab her blanket and a pillow and getting into Regina’s bunk.

“Movie night, duh,” Regina says. “Here.” She hands the laptop over to Cady and grabs a bowl of snacks Cady hadn’t seen before, then crawls into the bed next to her.

Cady rests the laptop between them so they can both see the movie and their friends. Suddenly, another call comes in. “Oh, yay!” Cady answers it and smiles as Karen comes onto the screen. She’s still in Evanston, attending the local community college and working part time.

“Happy birthday, Cady! Cake emoji!” Karen says happily.

“Thanks, Karen!” Cady responds. Then, yet another call comes in. “No way.”

Gretchen is all the way in France, studying fashion at one of the most elite schools there.

“Oh my god, Gretch, hi!” Cady says. Gretchen looks very tired, but smiles when she sees her friends and girlfriend. Janis is only a few states away from Cady, she can’t imagine what it must be like for Gretchen and Karen trying to do long-distance from different continents.

“Hey, Cady lady! Happy birthday,” Gretchen says softly so she doesn’t wake up her roommates.

“This is crazy,” Cady says happily. Janis really went all out setting it up.

“Happy birthday, baby. What movie do you want to watch?” Janis asks, grinning at her girlfriend’s happy smile.

Cady looks sheepish. “The Lion King?”

Everyone laughs, knowing her well. Janis pulls it up on the shared screen so they can all watch at the same time. “Of course you do. Here we go.”

Cady cuddles in with her blanket and munches happily on her snacks. It’s a perfect evening, and she can’t wait to see all her friends in person again soon.

—————

Juliana’s birthday is the day before Cady flies to New York. Julie has kept her updated on how school has been going and what life is like in Evanston, but they haven’t seen each other in person since January.

So, Cady drives home to surprise her. Turning twelve is a very important occasion. She talks with Janis on the phone as she makes the rather long drive back to her hometown.

She switches to Facetime Janis as she pulls onto the correct street and puts the car in park. Julie deserves to see her sister’s face, even if they can’t be together in person.

Damian pops up as well. He might as well be their brother anyway, he’s so close with both of them. Cady grins as she knocks on the door. It’s different, knowing Janis isn’t going to be there, but she’s still excited to see Juliana.

“Cady!” Julie yells happily as she opens the door. Cady grunts slightly as she hugs her. Julie is officially taller than her now at 5’4”, much to Cady‘s chagrin.

“Hey, kiddo! Happy birthday,” Cady greets as Julie squeezes her tightly. “Oh, here, I forgot your present in the car.”

She hands over her phone so Janis can talk to her sister, smiling as she hears Janis yell a very loud happy birthday over the speakers. Julie laughs and continues talking to Janis and Damian while Cady grabs a gift bag from the car.

“Okay, this is technically from all three of us, Janis and Damian sent me their parts of it,” Cady says, handing the bag over and taking her phone back so Janis and Damian can see Julie open it.

Julie tears into it quickly, removing the tissue paper and pulling out a jacket like Janis’, a few starter paints, and some patches. She’s always wanted to be like Janis, so they all got her a jacket of her own to decorate however she wants. Janis bought the jacket itself, Damian got the patches, and Cady bought the paint set.

Julie gasps excitedly when she sees everything all together. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

Cady laughs as she runs to hug her again, and hears similar reactions from Janis and Damian through the speakers. “You’re welcome, Jules. What do you want to do now?”

“Cake,” Julie says instantly. She and Janis are remarkably similar sometimes. “Janny, it’s chocolate, should I save you some?”

Cady watches Janis process that and try to hide the tears pricking her eyes. She won’t be back in Illinois to see her sister until May, even if they freeze the cake it’ll be nearly inedible by the time she could.

“Nah, Jules, it’s fine,” Janis replies as Julie leads Cady into the house. “You eat my piece too and then we’ll buy another one when I come back.”

“Okay,” Julie giggles.

Everyone sings her happy birthday after their mom lights the candles, and Julie blows them out happily. Cady hears Janis sing extra loudly, both to beat out Damian and to make sure Juliana could still hear her.

Janis stays on the phone with them for the rest of the day, there in spirit to help Julie decide what to put on her jacket and where, and also when Cady takes her out for ice cream for dinner. As the sun sets Juliana remarks that she had even more fun today than when she got to go bowling with her friends the evening before.

Cady does eventually have to both hang up on her girlfriend and get back to her own house so she can prepare for her trip the next day. Julie hugs her tightly before she can leave.

“Thank you for coming,” she says quietly.

“Of course,” Cady replies. “I think of you as my sister too. I’ll always come for your birthdays.”

Juliana clings to her a little tighter at that, and Cady squeezes her back before she does actually have to let go and leave. Cady is glad to have a sibling in some form again.

—————

Cady wakes up entirely too early the next morning, excited to see her girlfriend again for the first time since January. Her flight doesn’t leave for another six hours or so, so she has some time to kill.

She double checks she has everything packed in her suitcase and that all her tickets are in order, makes her bed extra carefully, and then heads to find some breakfast downstairs.

Cady can barely focus enough to make cereal, she’s so excited at the prospect of seeing both Janis and New York City. Her parents come down as she’s cleaning up after herself, so she decides to catch up with them for a while.

-

After several rounds of Guitar Hero, her dad reminds her of her flight and she rushes back upstairs to get ready.

Cady flies through taking a shower, brushing her hair and teeth, and putting on some comfy travel clothes before she grabs her bags and runs back downstairs. Her parents chuckle at her eagerness and lead her to the car to drop her off.

She hugs them goodbye before she has to pass through security, and then she’s off on her little adventure.

-

Janis texts her as she waits at the gate for her flight to be called to board. It’s a video of her trying to haul Damian out of bed and him moaning that it’s a ‘holy day’ and demanding more sleep.

She giggles quietly at her friends’ antics and smiles when she remembers she’ll be able to hug them in just a few hours. Cady sends back a message telling Janis to leave Damian alone to sleep and another excited message telling her she can’t wait to hug and kiss her again.

Janis texts back the same and tells her she’ll be waiting (hopefully with Damian, but that remains to be seen) at the airport with all the cuddles and kisses they’ve been lacking for the last two months.

-

Three hours later she’s officially in a different state, and in a different time zone, and in her girlfriend’s arms. Cady’s bags wait on the carousel as she clings tightly to Janis and kisses all over her face. They get a few strange looks, but neither of them really care.

Damian did end up coming, so Cady hugs him tightly as well. He kindly takes her suitcase out to their Uber so Cady can hold hands with both of them instead.

Janis smiles when she sees the necklace Cady has on, containing both her charms for her brother. She’d tried all the chains for a week, and found one with smaller links that was the least aggravating. After a bit of practice, she can wear it all day now. Her goal now is to find a bracelet she can wear to put her half-heart charm on to match Janis’.

—————-

Janis unlocks the door to their apartment for them and leads Cady in to show her around. It’s rather small, but has an impressive two bedrooms. Cady likes it, it’s very cozy.

She especially likes Janis’ bedroom, which has been personalized wall to wall. She put paper on the walls and painted over that, intricate murals of all sorts of patterns and colors and textures. Her familiar black bedsheets don the bed, and Cady smiles when she sees her Mathletes jacket covering a pillow that Janis cuddles.

Janis flops down onto it and reaches for her actual girlfriend, so Cady cuddles into her happily.

“I love it here already,” she says quietly, nuzzling into Janis’ neck and fiddling with her pink-tipped hair. “You look good with pink hair.”

“You think?” Janis responds. “I was kind of scared to try it, actually. Damian made me do it.”

“Yes! You look good in pink, I keep trying to tell you,” Cady giggles. “Maybe I should dye mine.”

“No,” Janis whines, fiddling with Cady’s curls. “I love your hair.”

Cady grins at her. “Not even like you do? Don’t you think I’d look fun with, like, purple hair for a couple days?”

Janis ponders that, looking at her girlfriend to analyze. “Maybe. If you really want to. I do think you’d look good, I just love you as a redhead.”

“Thank you,” Cady smiles. “I love you in every color.”

“You’re so sappy,” Janis groans, but she’s smiling happily too. “I missed you.”

“I missed you so much,” Cady replies quietly. “I can’t wait for summer.”

“Two more months,” Janis agrees. “Then we have so many movie nights and cuddle sessions to make up for.”

Cady smiles again and cuddles back into Janis’ shoulder. “I can’t wait. I’ve missed in-person movie nights.”

“I have too. It’s not the same without you attached to my arm like an octopus when we watch scary movies,” Janis teases. “Or without you trying to steal my popcorn.”

“Our popcorn, excuse you,” Cady retaliates. “I get girlfriend privileges. If we’re watching scary movies it’s our arm and our popcorn.”

Janis laughs at that and rolls onto her side so they can face each other. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Cady replies, inching closer and leaning in for kisses. Janis rests a hand on her cheek and responds in kind, running her tongue gently over her bottom lip and pulling her closer when Cady gasps quietly.

After a while, neither of them is sure how long exactly, Cady pulls back abruptly with a gasp.

“What happened?” Janis asks in concern.

“Our anniversary,” Cady says. “It’s been a year, on my birthday.”

“Oh, yeah,” Janis says. “I was more focused on the birthday, I totally forgot.”

“So did I,” Cady chuckles. “Well, we can celebrate now.”

“Yeah we can,” Janis purrs, rolling to pin Cady underneath her and pressing their lips together again. She hopes Damian took a hint and went out somewhere.

—————-

The next day, Janis and Damian show Cady around the city. Janis shows her the local jewelry store and helps Cady pick a charm bracelet chain to try, and then Damian takes them to the Broadway area to look around.

“Wow,” Cady says in awe at all the bright colors and big signs. It’s strange to think that all the bootlegs she’s watched with Damian over the years were filmed in these buildings. “It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it just?” Damian sighs dramatically. “Oh, that reminds me. I have a very, very late birthday present for you, Cads.”

“Aww, really?” Cady asks. Janis raises a suspicious eyebrow. A present this late is almost sure to have some sort of selfish motivation behind it.

“Um… I might have impulse bought three tickets to Wicked,” he says sheepishly. “Surprise!”

“No way!” Cady calls and leaps into his arms. She’s aware of its reputation as one of the more ‘basic’ musicals out there, but it is still one of her favorites. Janis seems kind of excited as well, though she loathes musicals. “When is it?”

“A few hours, we have a little bit of time to kill,” Damian responds. “We should eat first, anyway.”

Cady refuses to let him go, so Damian carries her piggyback to their favorite sandwich place that he and Janis had discovered while they were lost one night. Neither of them are still totally sure how it happened since the streets are numbered, but Janis wasn’t particularly surprised, knowing their math skills, even combined, are rather sub-par.

—————-

Several hours later, they’re in the theater and ready to watch the show. Cady is shaking with excitement, looking around in awe at the set and all the lights. Their seats aren’t very close to the stage, but Cady is excited that she can see the whole thing at once.

Janis squeezes her hand and smiles affectionately at her girlfriend’s joy. Damian grabs Janis’ bag and passes out the snacks he’d managed to smuggle in. Cady offers Janis some of her Sour Patch Kids, which Janis takes. In return, Cady gets a few Milk Duds.

Cady leans onto her shoulder as the opening music starts, and stays there for the whole first act. Janis can feel every smile and hear every gasp or reaction to the events on stage. Janis is rather shocked herself, having somehow never seen the show. She’s quite frightened when they finally get to Defying Gravity and Elphaba is suddenly at their eye level.

-

Cady buys them all matching t-shirts from the merch area after the show, still vibrating with the adrenaline. Janis is pouting, making Cady frown.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t you have fun?” She asks sadly, wrapping her arms around Janis’ neck. Janis holds onto her waist while Damian heads off to take pictures of everything.

“I did,” Janis responds. “I just really thought Elphaba and Glinda would end up together.”

“Oh,” Cady laughs. “I did too, honestly. Fiyero isn’t bad, though. He’s cute.”

“You’d make a good Galinda,” Janis murmurs, leaning down for a quick kiss.

“And you would make a great Elphie,” Cady says, kissing her back.

“You really think I could sing like that?” Janis chuckles. “I don’t think I could handle being up so high.”

“You have a beautiful voice, of course you could,” Cady says. “And she’s fastened in, you wouldn’t fall.”

“Still, did you see how high they go? And you’d be in the bubble,” Janis mumbles with an anxious shudder. “Maybe for Halloween.”

Cady grins back. “Yeah, that’d be better. Then you can stay on the ground.”

“Humans aren’t supposed to be up that high!” Janis insists. “I’m the normal one here for once.”

“I never said you weren’t,” Cady giggles at her reaction. “Come on, let’s go find Damian.”

Janis pouts but follows as Cady hauls her around by the hand.

—————-

Janis and Damian drop Cady off at the airport again at the end of the week. Cady has an extra suitcase now, to carry all of her treasures she’s acquired in the city.

They all cling to one another desperately before Cady has to pass through security. Damian heads to a vending machine to give Cady and Janis some alone time.

They’re both already crying slightly, sniffling into each other’s shoulders. A single week together isn’t nearly enough time.

“It’s just two more months,” Cady whispers. “We’ve made it this far, we can do it again.”

“But I don’t want to do it again,” Janis whimpers. “I want to be with you.”

“I know, love. So do I,” Cady sniffles. “We’ll have the whole summer together. We can do it.”

“Summer,” Janis repeats to comfort herself. It feels years away. “God, I thought this was supposed to get easier.”

“I don’t think it ever will,” Cady chuckles sardonically. “Kiss me.”

Janis obliges, tugging Cady in by the waist as Cady cups her cheeks. She tries to memorize the cherry scent of her hair, and the artificial watermelon taste of her chapstick that still lingers. Neither of them care that they’re making out in an incredibly crowded airport, or that they’re getting strange looks. They need this moment.

“Two months,” Janis whispers when they break apart.

“Two months,” Cady repeats. They’ve already done their calendars for the next few months, and heavily decorated the day Janis and Damian would be flying back for the summer. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Janis sniffs.

“I love you most,” Cady murmurs, tipping her face back up for more kisses.

Damian comes back after another couple minutes and gives a cough to announce his return, so they break apart regretfully. Cady heads to cling to him, and he holds her just as tight.

“Bye, Little Slice,” he says sadly. Cady squishes her face against his chest to hide her tears.

“Bye, D,” she whispers back. “I’ll see you in May.”

Janis presses against her back so Cady is totally pinned between her art freaks. They stay like that until the last possible minute, but Cady does still have a flight home to catch.

She heads through security and blows them kisses from the other side, which they return before they head to leave.

Two months.

——————

Cady and Janis talk every day, and still have their weekly Facetime dates. They text in between classes and call to chat as they study for finals.

Until Cady doesn’t answer the phone one day.

Janis tries not to worry. She knows that it’s Cady’s last week to prepare, and that she has good reason to be stressed. But Cady’s never ignored her calls or messages before.

Janis tries not to bother her, only leaving one voicemail and trying to limit the amount of texts she sends.

She smiles when a call from Cady finally comes through, but it quickly fades when she picks up. Apparently she hadn’t been restrained enough for Cady’s taste.

“Janis, what do you want? My exams are next week, I have to study,” Cady huffs.

Janis is confused, she just wanted to check in. “I just… wanted to talk to you. I miss you.”

“Janis, these are important,” Cady growls in retaliation. “I miss you too, but god.”

“If that’s how it is,” Janis replies quietly. “Then I’ll leave you alone.” She hangs up and turns her phone to silent, plopping it into her nightstand drawer before turning away from it and crying into her pillow.

-

Damian wakes her up a few hours later, she must have drifted off. “I made dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” Janis whispers back, not even turning to look at him. “I’ll eat later.”

“No you fucking will not, what happened?” Damian demands, flicking on her light and coming into her bed with her.

“Nothing happened, I’m just not hungry,” Janis insists, turning to squish her face into her pillow so he can’t see the tear tracks. He isn’t fooled, hauling her up by the back of her shirt like a mama cat grabs a kitten. “Hey!”

He rests her down once she’s upright and looks at her face. “You’ve been crying. What happened?”

Janis falls apart with one look into his eyes, bursting into heartbroken tears again. Damian pulls her in for a hug and waits for an explanation.

She’s crying too hard and doesn’t want to give details, so she just sobs out a “Cady.” and hopes he can piece together what he needs to.

“Did you have a fight?” He asks gently. Janis nods and cries harder into his chest. “Okay, shh. We’ll work it out.”

Janis cries herself to sleep again, somehow, so Damian tucks her in and heads back to the kitchen. He can’t believe he’s even considering the possibility, but maybe Regina can help.

damecupboard: Hey Reggie

georgewashington: Hey, Damian. What’s up?

damecupboard: Has Caddy said anything about Janis? Or been acting weird?

georgewashington: Janis, no. Acting weird, definitely. She’s been super on edge the last couple days. She yelled at me for breathing too loud while she was trying to study.

damecupboard: Jesus

damecupboard: She and Janis had a fight, Janis is messed up. She’s cried herself to sleep twice today already

georgewashington: I’m not surprised they fought. I don’t think Cady’s slept in three days. Poor Janis.

damecupboard: This isn’t like her, can you try to talk to her?

georgewashington: Uh. I can try, but it���s kind of like volunteering to enter a cage with a hungry lion.

damecupboard: Just try to ask her what’s going on but don’t make it obvious

georgewashington: Got it.

Damian bites his thumbnail anxiously while he waits for Regina to answer again. It’s not until nearly ten minutes later that his text tone pings off again.

georgewashington: Well. I think our whole building knows she’s on edge now, but in between yelling things I couldn’t understand she kept talking about getting into a good grad school and mentioning Janis.

damecupboard: Huh. She can totally get into a good school on her own, these aren’t that important

georgewashington: I’m worried about her, she really hasn’t slept in a few days. And she barely eats. All she does is study.

damecupboard: Yeah, yelling at you guys really isn’t like her. If I get Janis to, can you try to get her into a “movie night”? I think if they can see each other and talk it’ll help

georgewashington: You’re really just gonna sacrifice me like that huh.

georgewashington: I’ll try. Six your time, get Janis and call. If we don’t pick up she has actually murdered me for even asking.

damecupboard: Got it. Sorry, Reggie

damecupboard: I’ll make them buy you flowers

georgewashington: I like poppies.

Damian chuckles at her response and goes to wake up Janis again. He frowns when he finds her clinging to her pillow with Cady’s mathletes jacket covering it.

“Janjan, come on, your food is getting cold,” he says quietly, shaking her awake again. “You gotta come eat and then you can go back to bed.”

Janis just groans and turns to lie on her belly.

“You know full well I will haul your ass out of bed myself, come eat,” Damian insists, clapping his hands to try and get her to move.

“Can’t I just eat in here? And be sad?” Janis asks pitifully, poking out one chocolate brown eye to blink at him sadly.

“No.”

“Why?” Janis groans.

“Because I’m lonely, you have to keep me company,” Damian lies. “It’s your legal obligation as my roommate. It was in the papers we had to sign.”

Not even a chuckle. “Entertain yourself.”

Damian grabs her ankle and starts dragging her out of bed. Janis doesn’t resist but also doesn’t get up. “Come on.”

“No,” she whines, reaching for her blanket. She gives an “Oof!” as she thuds to the ground, but lets him continue to drag her out of the room and into the kitchen.

Damian allows her to stay on the ground, resting her plate of food on her chest and dragging her over to the couch. Janis pouts at him from the ground, so he removes the plate and helps her up, then hands it back.

She eats slowly, and leans on his shoulder with a sad sigh once her last bite is gone. He pulls her close and looks to the clock, it’s nearly six.

“What are you doing?” Janis asks confusedly when he reaches for his laptop and rests it on the coffee table in front of them.

“Nothing,” Damian replies quickly, but she can see him open Facetime and click through to Regina’s contact.

“Damian, no, I don’t wanna see them,” Janis whines. The call goes through regardless and catches Cady mid-very loud sentence.

“I told you, I don’t have time for a movie! God, what is with you people? First Janis, now you?!” She yells, presumably at Regina who’s just offscreen. Janis is suddenly confronted with the memory of their very short phone call, and some more unpleasant ones from their high school days. She feels herself sniffle and let out a sob into Damian’s shoulder, making Cady suddenly snap her head to look at the screen.

“Hey,” Damian greets with a wave, as if he hasn’t just witnessed the terrifying display of Cady-rage on screen and doesn’t have a very upset Janis weeping into his shoulder. “How’s it going?”

Cady suddenly looks very sheepish. She frowns when she sees Janis crying quietly.

“Cady. Talk to them.” Regina demands. Cady’s bottom lip starts trembling and she suddenly bursts into tears as well.

“God, I’m so sorry,” she sobs. “I’ve… I’ve been such a bitch, I’m so sorry. Janis.”

Janis looks up when she hears her girlfriend start crying, still instinctively wanting to comfort her even though she’s distraught herself. Damian pats her shoulder comfortingly to try and get her to talk.

“What is going on with you?” Janis asks. It sounds more rude than she wants it to, but  it’ll do.

“Jay, I’m so sorry,” Cady sobs. “I’ve been… I’m trying to study as much as I can. If I don’t pass then I might-I might get bumped back a semester, or I won’t get into grad school. I-I have to pass, I have to do well enough. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Why are you so worried about this?” Janis asks quietly with a shaky sniffle. “You’ll pass.”

Cady starts crying harder at the question. “Because if I don’t I might never see you again,” she wails rapidly.

“Whoa, what?” Janis says. “What are you talking about?”

“If I don’t pass I won’t get into grad school and then I won’t be smart enough for you and-and I’m trying to get into schools in New York so I can be close to you but if I don’t then we have to keep doing this and I don’t want you to leave me,” Cady sobs. “But now I fucked everything up and got mad at you and you might anyway!”

Janis suddenly realizes this goes a lot deeper than she thought, and Janis didn’t actually have anything to do with her outburst at all. Damian leaves suddenly to give them some privacy, and she hears the door to Cady’s dorm click shut through the speakers, signaling Regina has done the same.

“Caddy, hey,” Janis says as Cady has her face buried in her arms at her desk. “When was the last time you slept?”

Cady peeks up at her and chokes out more sobs. “I don’t know. I think Tuesday.”

“And when was the last time you ate?” Janis asks quietly.

“Lunch, a while ago,” Cady sobs again.

“Baby, this isn’t healthy,” Janis says. “You can’t do this to yourself.”

“But I have to study, Jay, I have so much to-“

“No,” Janis insists. “You don’t. You’re burning yourself out. You haven’t slept in four days, and Regina just told me that ‘lunch’ you ate was yesterday. You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep going like this.”

“No, I have to-“

“Cady Jane Heron, listen to me,” Janis demands loudly. Cady snaps her head up and looks at the screen almost in fear. “I love you. I love you more than anything in this fucking world put together. I’m not going to break up with you because you don’t get into a grad school. I don’t care how smart you are. I love that you’re brilliant because it’s part of who you are, but if that changes it doesn’t change you. Or how much I love you. And we’ve made it this long being apart, I can handle a little bit longer for you to try again or figure out what else you want to do. All I care about right now is you being okay and still loving me at the end of the day.”

Cady dissolves into heavy sobs, burying her face in her arms again. “I’m not okay, Jay.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Janis says. “We’ll work on it. For now, go get in bed. I’ll have Regina bring you something to eat.”

Cady nods and unplugs the computer, climbing up into her unmade bed and crying gently against her pillows. Janis texts Regina and asks her to grab something quick for Cady to eat and letting her know Cady is sure to give a very long and tearful apology for her behavior.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Jay,” Cady mumbles in the meantime. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not gonna say it’s okay,” Janis replies. “But I understand. But you can’t do this again. You have to tell someone if you’re feeling like this, and I’m gonna get Reggie to watch you a little closer for a while. I love you.”

“Okay,” Cady sniffles. “I love you too.”

She perks up when Regina comes back with some soup from the dining hall, and starts sobbing again. Janis lets her apologize to Regina and waits for her to come back on screen.

Cady says her apologies several times over, and Janis can see Regina hug her begrudgingly from the edge of the screen. Now that she’s gotten her apologies in order, Cady gradually calms down, taking some deep breaths in between spoonfuls of her soup. It’s warm and filling, and she drifts off just after the last bite passes her lips.

Regina grabs the laptop and empty tray from her lap. Cady turns onto her side, deeply asleep.

“Fucking hell,” Regina murmurs under her breath. “I’ve never seen her like that, that was scary.”

“You’re telling me,” Janis jokes weakly. “Can you make sure she showers and eats again whenever she wakes up? And don’t let her study for a while?”

“Sure, I’ll hide her books,” Regina says, marking Cady’s pages and places with bookmarks before she carefully stashes them all in one of her own dresser drawers.

“Thanks,” Janis chuckles. “Let me know if anything happens.”

“Got it,” Regina replies. “Later, art freak.”

“Bye, Barbie.”

Janis closes the screen with a heavy sigh and leans her head into her hands as Damian enters again. “Everything sorted?”

“For now,” Janis sighs. “Fuck, D.”

“I know,” Damian comforts. “She’ll be okay. And now you know you can handle conflict from different states, that’s a plus.”

Janis is very glad she still has a girlfriend by the end of this day. “Can I sleep in your bed?”

“And you say you’re not clingy,” Damian teases. “Come on, loser, chop chop.”

————-

Cady is much more rational after a night of sleep, and texts both Janis and Damian one more apology. They Facetime Cady and Regina every day until the end of their term. Cady takes much better care of herself throughout, and only studies in short bursts. She passes all her exams with flying colors, as everyone knew she would.

Janis and Damian’s finals are the following week, and then they’re packing up their apartment and flying home for the summer. They decided to leave Janis’ truck there and not drive home for the sake of simplicity.

Cady texted them and said she couldn’t be at the airport to meet them due to a last math club meeting, but would be able to meet them at Janis’ house once they arrived there.

She, of course, was lying. She’s waiting by baggage claim and smiles when she sees her two favorite people (looking frankly exhausted) grab their suitcases. Cady quickly texts Janis before they can order themselves an Uber, telling her to turn around.

Janis does, and Cady jumps up and down and waves so she can see her. Janis smiles widely and runs to meet her. Cady runs to her too, and they meet each other halfway.

“I thought you couldn’t come,” Janis says as she picks Cady up to spin her around.

“I lied!” Cady says happily. “Payback for Christmas.”

“Ah,” Janis giggles, pulling her close again and wrapping her up tightly. “How are you, Peanut?”

“A lot better,” Cady replies quietly. “My parents put me in therapy to help, too.”

“Good,” Janis says. “Now take me home, I have girlfriend cuddles to catch up on.”

“Okay, come on,” Cady chuckles, lacing their fingers together and grabbing Damian as they leave the building for the last time until fall. Good riddance.

—————-

Juliana comes flying out the door when she sees them pull up, running full tilt towards her sister and pitching herself into her arms. Janis shrieks as her sister suddenly collides with her, but wraps her arms around her tightly.

“You’re weird, Jules,” she teases quietly into her sister’s hair. “You’re not supposed to like me.”

“I don’t, you’re gross,” Julie retaliates, but doesn’t leave. Janis suddenly hears an indignant meow, and looks down to find Pancakes sitting and waiting for his turn.

“How did you get out?” Janis asks, scooping up her chunky cat and stroking his ears. “And how did you get fatter since Christmas?”

“Oh, oops,” Julie says quietly, realizing she left the door open. “Come on.”

Damian and Janis’ moms come out to hug them, and Janis is confused to find Cady’s parents there as well. Cady grabs their suitcases while they make their greetings and carries them in for them.

Janis follows after her a few minutes later, still carrying Pancakes who is refusing to be set down. “What’s happening?”

“Just a little get together,” Cady teases, resting Janis’ suitcase on her bed to be unpacked later. “To celebrate you coming back.”

“Oh,” Janis replies. “What… what sort of get together?”

“You don’t have to be scared, it’s just a barbecue,” Cady giggles. “And nobody else is coming, we just have a lot of food. And Jules got you another cake.”

Janis grins affectionately. “Cute.”

Cady comes up and scritches Pancakes behind his ears, making him purr happily. “I know, Janis is home for three whole months!” Cady agrees excitedly. “And she’s been with me for two hours and hasn’t kissed me yet!”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and cups the back of her neck, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. Pancakes meows crankily when he’s squished between them, so they pull back.

“You’re a real cockblocker sometimes, you know that?” Janis asks him quietly. “Let’s go see if we can steal you some food.”

Pancakes is stuffed into his cat carrier so he can spend the evening in the backyard with them, and given a piece of a cheeseburger patty to appease him.

Janis, Cady, Damian and Juliana play tag while the adults cook, and then have a contest to see who can jump off the swings and land the furthest away.

Cady laughs delightedly as Janis pushes her swing higher, and shrieks in surprise as she comes rushing up behind her upon her landing to pick her up and carry her around. Janis slips after a few steps and they both tumble to the ground, but nobody is hurt.

“Jay, oh my god,” Cady laughs, clutching her stomach. Janis laughs with her and rolls off to the side, lying on her back next to her. “You’re such a dork.”

“Are you okay?” Janis laughs breathlessly. Cady had kind of taken the brunt of their impact with the ground.

“Yeah,” Cady chuckles, her laughter finally slowing. “Are you?”

Janis rolls on top of her again and leans down for a kiss. “I have you back with me, of course I’m okay.”

“You’re such a flirt, oh my god,” Cady giggles. Janis leans down again, but is suddenly beaned in the head with a foam football.

“Ow!” She yells, looking over to where Damian is standing with Juliana on his back.

“Horny police,” Damian calls. “Stop it.”

“Ugh!” Janis grumbles, but does roll off of her girlfriend. “You guys are no fun.”

“You literally just tossed your girlfriend on the ground and then fell on top of her, don’t talk to us about fun,” Julie retaliates. “We just don’t want to see you fuck in public.”

“Hey!” Janis calls, whacking her on the back of the head. “You’re not allowed to swear.”

“But you do it all the time!” Julie says.

“Yeah, do you really want to end up like me?” Janis asks.

“Fair point,” Julie shrugs, shrieking as Janis suddenly lunges for her. She slides off of Damian’s back and runs away from her sister’s wrath, with Janis running full speed after her.

“You little brat, get back here!” Janis yells, increasing her speed.

Cady and Damian watch in a mixture of hilarity and concern, laughing as Julie streaks by them. Janis is gaining on her, however.

Juliana makes it to the adults first, shielded by their mother. “Girls, behave.”

“Yeah, Janny,” Julie teases. “Behave.”

Janis sticks her tongue out at her, and Julie does it back. “Sleep with one eye open tonight.”

Julie dissolves into giggles at the threat, and Janis does too. Cady grins at their interactions, reminded of her brother. She still has the necklace, and touches the charms without thinking of it.

The sisters return to Cady and Damian then, both slightly out of breath. Janis kisses Cady in greeting and smiles as she nuzzles into her shoulder. Julie and Damian both make fake gagging sounds, but they ignore them this time.

Eventually they’re called to eat, and Cady sits on Janis’ lap as they all sit around a picnic blanket and munch happily on their hot dogs and burgers. Janis feels more at peace than she has since July.

Maybe summer is okay.

[5ivebyfive]

pride month challenge - day fifteen - believe trimberly - frozen treats

For the longest time, Kimberly Hart didn’t believe that Trini Gomez existed. From the day Trini first walked into Angel Grove High and passed Kim in the hallway, their eyes meeting and gazes locking the entire time until they were out of sight, Kim was sure Trini couldn’t actually exist. The shorter girl walked in with her headphones around her neck, her long, luscious hair down around her shoulders, and hands deep in her pockets. She had a way about her that was a mix of uncertain but uncaring. And she was beautiful. There were plenty of good looking people at Angel Grove High, but none were beautiful like Trini. 

Every time Kim passed Trini in the hall, then just the unnamed new girl, her eyes met Kim’s and the two girls held a deep stare until they passed each other. Never exchanged a word or a smile. And every time it made Kim’s heart pound and her palms sweat. She never saw anyone walking with Trini and she never saw Trini stop to talk to any friends. She was always alone. So Kim started to believe that the girl was a figment of her imagination. Either way, Kim couldn’t try to talk to her. Kim was at the top of the social ladder and Trini was no one. Kim shouldn’t have even noticed her. But she did. She got used to the exact times of day that they would pass one another, and she looked forward to each one. She never left class late or stayed too long at her locker, because she never wanted to miss it. She concocted stories in her head of who Trini really was, and she longed for the courage to stop and say hello. Or to just smile at her.

Over the summer Kim partied with her friends and pretended to have fun. It really wasn’t that much fun. None of it had been lately. She was tired of the whole thing. She was tired of the people she was surrounded with all the time. But she needed them. She needed her place in the world, and needed their attention. One day, a few weeks into the break, she and her friends went to the frozen yogurt shop. She got in line with the girls and talked and laughed with them, and soon the line cleared before them and they were at the front, and Trini was there behind the counter. She looked at them with a bored expression and raised her brows. No greeting. Just waiting. Kim wondered if she imagined the girl again, but then Amanda was talking to her; rudely. Trini didn’t seem to care how Amanda treated her. She just scooped the fat-free frozen dessert into a cup and handed it to Amanda. Then her eyes were on Kim, and she had the same bored look on her face. Like she didn’t recognize the girl she had passed every day in school. Kim swallowed.

“One scoop of strawberry, please,” she said. She watched Trini scoop it and hand it out to her. “Thank you.” She took the cup of yogurt and swallowed as their fingers brushed. And the girl felt so real, so warm. Maybe she did exist. Kim took her cup and stepped aside to let her other friends order, and the entire time she watched the girl behind the counter. She finally let her eyes stray from her face and fall to her name tag, and she saw the name ‘Trini’. The girl had a name. A pretty name. Kim wanted to introduce herself, but that would be too weird. She and her friends left after that, but she thought about Trini all day. There was just something about her that intrigued Kim, and Kim wanted to know more about her.

The next day she spent the afternoon alone, and she found herself walking through the door of the yogurt shop again. Waited in line, waited for a moment of Trini’s time. Their eyes locked again, unlike the day before, and Trini stared at her for a moment before furrowing her brows.

“You want somethin’?” Trini asked, and her voice was heaven to Kim. She wanted to hear more.

“What would you suggest?” Her finger dragged slow shapes against the cool glass.

“Ice cream,” Trini said flatly.

Kim ignored her. “Can I sample the key lime?” Trini only grunted in reply, but she got a sample spoon and scooped some key lime for Kim. When she handed Kim the spoon, Kim took it and their fingers brushed again. Kim drew her hand back slowly and popped the spoon into her mouth. She hummed. “Can I try the double chocolate?”  She glanced behind herself and saw no one was in line and she smiled to herself. She went on to try every flavor the shop had so she could keep brushing her fingers to Trini’s, and to Trini’s credit she only seemed a little irritated with Kim. When she had tried them all, Kim thought about it. “I’ll have one scoop of strawberry,” she said. Trini rolled her eyes but scooped the strawberry and held out the cup to Kim.

“Three bucks,” Trini said.

Kim took out her card and held it out. “Thank you.” Trini nodded and ran the card before handing it back to Kim and sitting back on her stool behind the cooler. Kim smiled and went to find a table to sit at and she started to eat. She made sure she had a good view of Trini that wasn’t an obvious one, and she watched Trini with all the customers. When there were none, Trini read a book. She didn’t once look Kim’s way and that disappointed Kim. She decided she liked it best when kids came in, because Trini was friendly with the kids. She smiled at them and Trini had a gorgeous smile. When Kim was done she threw her cup away and slipped out the door with one more look over her shoulder. She caught Trini’s eyes flick up to catch hers before looking away again, and Kim walked off smiling.

For the next couple of weeks, Kim went to the frozen yogurt shop every day. She made her evening runs longer to compensate. She learned Trini’s schedule and left on days Trini wasn’t there. From there, she couldn’t help but go in every day she knew Trini would be there. She waited in line, got her strawberry yogurt, and sat and ate it while spying on Trini. It got to the point where Trini had her yogurt scooped the moment Kim walked up to the counter, and Kim loved it. She loved how, a month into her visits, she would be watching Trini behind the counter and would catch Trini glancing up from her book to look at Kim and quickly look away again.

It was about six weeks in when Trini came from behind the counter and sat down across from Kim in the empty shop. “You can’t really like strawberry frozen yogurt this much,” Trini said to her, the most the girl had ever spoken to her. “You and your friends Punkin’ me or something?” She looked at Kim suspiciously.

Kim stared at Trini, her spoon frozen halfway to her open mouth, and she didn’t know what to say for a moment. Then, with her hand still frozen, she narrowed her own eyes back at Trini. “...are you real?”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Kim put her cup of yogurt down and set the spoon in it before folding her hands between her legs. “I like yogurt,” she said, hoping she sounded convincing.

“No one likes yogurt this much,” Trini argued. “Look, I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I’m just trying to-”

“I don’t have a problem with you, Trini.”

“How do you know my name? I’ve never told you my name,” Trini said accusingly. Kim smirked and pointed to the red name tag Trini wore and she looked down at it then looked back up. “Oh. Right.”

“I really don’t have any motive,” Kim said. “I just...like it here.”

“There’s somethin’ wrong with you,” Trini replied, shaking her head. She got up. “Well thanks for never leaving me a mess to clean up.” And she walked back around the counter, sat on her stool, and opened her book.

And Kim knew she needed Trini to talk to her more. The next day she came in with her own book, and she sat down at her usual table with her strawberry yogurt and opened it up. She snuck a glance towards Trini and saw Trini trying to read the cover of it and Kim tried not to smirk. She was only a couple of pages in when she heard the metal chair across from her scrape across the floor before Trini sat in it.

“The Outsiders?” 

“Hm?” Kim looked up, pretending to be surprised. “Oh, hello, Trini.”

“You’re reading The Outsiders?”

Kim raised a brow. “Are you surprised I’m reading or surprised by what I’m reading?”

“Both,” Trini said simply. Her face was blank and Kim couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“Well, I do read,” Kim said. “And this is one I read every summer.”

“Is it your favorite?”

“No, my favorite book is The Princess Diaries.”

“...really?”

“Really,” Kim insisted. “It’s funny. And what teenage girl wouldn’t want to find out she’s a real princess?”

Trini raised her brows. “I mean...you kinda already are, huh? Kimberly Hart, Princess of Angel Grove High.”

“You know my name?”

“Everyone knows your name,” Trini drawled. “Like I said, Princess of Angel Grove High.”

“You say that like you know me.”

“I do know you, Princess. I’ve been to three highschools, I know girls like you.”

Kim felt cold suddenly. She closed her book and set it on the table. “If you don’t want me to make generalizations about you, don’t make any about me.” 

“I go by what I see,” Trini said, her voice stubborn.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be so blind,” Kim said cooly. She got up and picked up her book and her cup of yogurt. She walked across the shop and threw out her yogurt and left. She wasn’t going to sit and listen to someone who knew nothing about her life tell her how perfect it was.

Kim didn’t go back. She spent the rest of the summer wrapped up in her friends and her boyfriend, and she tried not to think about the girl behind the counter at the frozen yogurt shop. She knew she had probably overreacted a little, but she had wanted Trini to be different. She wanted Trini to really see her, and she hadn’t. She didn’t see Trini again until school started back. There Kim was in her biology class and she heard Trini’s name get called, heard Trini’s soft ‘here’. She looked over her shoulder and sure enough, there was Trini. Kim turned forward and pretended Trini didn’t exist except for the daily roll call that had her waiting breathlessly for Trini’s voice.

A couple of months passed and Kim lost her boyfriend, her friends, and her long locks. It was only days after she had chopped it off in the school bathroom that she was sitting in biology class and zoning out. In a way, it all felt good to suddenly be a no one and not have everyone’s eyes on her, but in another it was torture. People’s eyes were still on her. People enjoyed her downfall and they liked laughing at her misfortune. And she had wanted to get back to where she had been, but as she cut all of her long locks off she realized she was better than them. She didn’t need them. But it was still hard to start over. So all of that plagued her mind as she sat there in class, barely listening to her teacher, and when the bell rang she slowly got to her feet. She wasn’t in a rush to meet her friends between classes. She had no friends. So she took her time packing her backpack as students shuffled past her. And then she heard a voice behind her.

“Do you believe a person can be wrong about another person and feel really bad about it?”

Kim froze. She knew and recognized that voice. She looked over her shoulder and saw Trini shifting awkwardly on her feet, letting her long hair get in her face to hide behind. Kim swung her backpack over a shoulder and considered Trini’s words for several moments. Her heart was pounding just from the proximity of Trini to herself. One corner of her lips lifted slightly. “Yeah,” she said. “If they can admit they were wrong.”

“I was wrong,” Trini said. “I didn’t know you. I just...knew other girls and I realized you’re not like them.”

“So far I don’t think you’re like any girl I’ve ever known,” Kim admitted.

“I think...maybe we could both use a friend...if you wanna try to know me.”

“I think I’d like that,” Kim nodded, smiling more. 

“Wanna walk to class together?”

“Sure,” Kim nodded. She waved to let Trini lead the way, and as they headed for the door together Kim found herself asking, “Do you believe you can see someone for the first time and know they’re meant to be in your life?”

Trini was quiet as they made their way into the hall and walked side by side, then she nodded. “I definitely believe that...Princess.”

[sebastianshaw]

RP Meme from The Lost Boys

I told you to stay off the boardwalk.

Hey, I liked that song.

I don't see any boogeymen or nasty guys.

Wait. That's from my era!

That's the ocean air.

Smells like someone died.

Looks like he's dead. No, he's just a deep sleeper.

If he's dead, can we go back to [PLACE]?

What's wrong with this picture? There's no TV. Have you seen a TV? I haven't seen a TV.

You're the only woman I ever knew who didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.

A big legal war wasn't going to improve anybody's situation.

Ouch. My hair.

Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

We've got some rules around here. Second shelf is

mine. That's where I keep my root beers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.

There's another rule around here, and I want you to pay

close attention. Don't touch anything. Everything is exactly where I want it.

There are some bad elements around here.

You're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world?

If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once we'd have one hell of a population problem.

I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.

I was so worried. Don't run off like that.

We were that age, too, once. Only they dress better.

You have a generous nature. I like that in a person.

So how may I help you this evening? We have it all.

I look that needy, huh?

You're chasing that girl, aren't you?

I'm at the mercy of your sex glands.

Don't you have something better to do than follow me around all night?

Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.

Listen buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen-yogurt bar, it went out of business last summer.

That's a very serious book, man.

Only five in existence.

Where the hell are you from? Krypton?

Nobody drives this baby but me.

We have to let it warm up a little. Hear that sound? Just like a baby pussycat.

That's as close to town as I like to get.

It's a pretty cool place. If you're a Martian. Or a vampire.

Are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something?

You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know shit buddy.

This is just our cover. We are dedicated to a higher

purpose. We're fighters for Truth Justice, and the American

way.

Think of it more as a survival manual.

There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.

I'll pray I never need to call you.

If you want your ear pierced, I'll do it.

I came this close to being called Moon Beam or Moon Child Or something like that.

I can't beat your bike.

You don't have to beat me, [NAME]. You just have to try

and keep up.

Just you! Come on! Just you!

That's what I love about this place. You ask, and then you get.

I can never sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack.

Don't sneak up on people like that!

What, you don't like rice? Tell me [NAME], how could a

billion Chinese people be wrong? Come on!

You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

Sorry about that. No hard feelings, huh?

Drink some of this, [NAME]. Be one of us.

Give me those sunglasses.

You need sunglasses to talk on the phone?

Are you freebasing? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anything in here that might pass for after-shave?

Have a big date tonight, [NAME]?

Lose the earring, [NAME]. It's not you. It's definitely

not you.

All you do is give attitude lately.

Go take your bath.

What did you do to my dog, asshole?

I didn't hurt him. He bit me. This is my blood.

Why did he bite you, huh? What did you do to him?

He was protecting you.

Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of

the night, [NAME]. Just like out of a comic book.

My own brother/sister/friend/etc, a goddam shit-sucking vampire.

You wait 'til[NAME] finds out!

Just let me talk. Wait a minute! [NAME]!

You did the right thing by calling us.

Does the sunlight freak him out?

He wears sunglasses in the house.

He always had bad breath, though.

He's a vampire all right. Here's what you do.

I can't do that! He's my brother/sister/mother/friend/etc!

You better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy. Or it's

your funeral.

I think we have to have a real long talk about something.

[NAME] help! He's coming to get me!

[NAME], help me! Open up! Help me! [NAME], open the window!

So what are you, the flying nun?

We're gonna work this out. We*re gonna work this out. Trust

me, okay?

I thought I saw something on my window, but I guess I got carried away.

I would like to have a personal life too.

Can I sleep in here with you tonight?

You smell like garlic.

What's happening to me, [NAME]?

I don't know how to help you.

Aren't we friends anymore?

Then let's act like friends. Let's talk.

We could talk about anything you want to talk about.

I have more serious things on my mind than girls and school. Things I'm dealing with.

Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.

The dog chased my mom like the Hounds of Hell from Vampires

Everywhere.

We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in

town for a long time.

[PLACE] has become a haven for the undead.

As a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and

werewolves occupy high position at City Hall.

Kill your brother/sister/boyfriend/aunt/best friend/etc, you'll feel better!

Look, it says here that if you kill the head vampire all half-vampires will return to normal.

Does he know who the head vampire is?

You'll have to kill him. And if you don't, we will.

Vampire require a daytime protector, a guardian to watch

over them as they sleep. Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell,

are often employed for this purpose.

Truth, Justice, The American way triumphs.

Smells good. When do we eat?

Are we gonna have company again?

Well, you are the man of the house and I'm not coming in until you invite me.

He promises to behave if you come back.

I didn't know you were having guests.

Our batting average isn't terrific, is it? Zero for two.

You're so sweet to him.

I don't know what got in to him. He's not like that.

If you ever want to see [NAME] again, you better come with

us now.

Initiation's over, [NAME]. Time to join the club.

Don't kill me, [NAME]. I'm basically a good kid, so just

don't kill me.

Just work with me and I can help you. You'll be okay.

Is she one of them?

You shut the window and lock your door.

She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a

bad person, [NAME]!

Yes, and it's my fault. You would've not met me, if I

hadn't liked you. I tried to warn you.

You drank someone's blood? Are you crazy?

We're not them.

Why didn't you kill me last night?

You're supposed to be my first.

What are you doing here? What do you want from me?

Don't kill anybody until we get back to you!

I got connections.

The night crawler. The bloodsucker. El Vampiro.

I don't want you going down there.

Look, this isn't a comic book, [NAME]. These guys are

brutal killers.

Who'd you rather go down in with you? Them or me?

If something happens down there, I won't have the strength

to protect you.

This time I'll protect you.

Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother/sister/friend/etc

If you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake

you without even thinking twice about it!

Where did you say you met these guys?

Don't you touch her. Stay away from her.

Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns.

There must be coffins here someplace.

I thought they'd be in coffins.

That's what this cave is. It's one giant coffin.

Right now they're at their most vulnerable. Easy pickings.

Remember. You just have to kill the leader.

We don't know which one he is.

I guess we'll just have to kill them all.

What's that, a little vampire humor? It wasn't funny.

Good night, bloodsucker.

We blew it, man! We lost it!

We unraveled in the face of the enemy!

They pulled a mind-scramble on us!

We don't ride with vampires.

"Burn rubber" does not mean warp speed!

Your dog knows a flesh-eater when he smells one.

The sun goes down. They'll be looking for us.

[PLACE] is crawling with vampires

They're coming to the house as soon as it gets dark!

I'm gonna see [NAME] tonight, and you're trying to ruin it for me.

I don't know what you don't want me to see.

I'm not talking about [NAME]! To hell with [NAME]!

Good. That's just the way we like it.

We've got a date tonight?

They'll be coming for all of us.

It's just old memories coming back.

Why are you so jumpy tonight?

He seemed so sincere, but it's insane.

Tell me. I promise not to laugh. Honest.

I think I should warn you all when a vampire dies, it's never a pretty sight.

Some yell and scream. Some go quietly. Some explode. Some implode. But all will try to take you with them.

Don't go out there! Stop him!

I say we terminate them right now.

You're mine. You killed [NAME]

Try the holy water, dead breath!

I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.

We trashed the one that looked like Twisted Sister.

We totally annihilated his night stalkin' ass!

Death to all vampires!

We are awesome monster bashers!

Holy shit! The attack of Eddie Monster!

Stop! Get away from him! Just stay away from him! He's just

a little boy.

You're afraid to face me, [NAME]?

I tried to make you immortal.

You tried to make me a killer!

Stop fighting me, [NAME]. I don't want to kill you. Join us.

It is too late, my blood is in your veins.

Don't let them see me like this.

What happened to your face?

I knew it. You are the head vampire.

You're the secret [NAME] was protecting.

Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy/girl/etc.

It renders you powerless.

Has everyone gone crazy? What's the matter with all of you?

It was you I was after, all along, [NAME]

It was all going to be so perfect, [NAME]

Just like one big happy family.

Great. The bloodsucking Brady Bunch.

I still want you, [NAME]. I haven't changed my mind about that.

I didn't invite you this time, [NAME]

Don't you touch my mother/father/son/dog/etc

Don't fight, [NAME]. It's so much better if you don't fight.

How much do you think we should charge them for this?

One thing about living in [PLACE] I never could

stomach--all the damn vampires.

[slothgiirl]

shadowplay ch 5

James complains about his latest customer, "wanted me to change the whole lapels because of some other fella he saw at work," as we walk to the station. For once, we get to leave early. 

Tailoring, much like ready to wear fashion, came  in seasons and while there was work to do in preparation for all the summer social events, it was nothing like the past rush. 

"Lapels are an easy fix," Sam counters, "I keep telling Mrs Harrington that rouching on her dress won't be flattering but she won't listen and when I have the mock up done who will she be yelling at? Me."

"Don't envy you," you state, waiting for the tube. Instead of home, you're thinking about grabbing some ice cream or crisps and heading to a park. It's too nice of a day to spend inside. "Much rather deal with making the same standard black suit." 

James barks out a laugh, "true enough. Ascot season means beige though."

"I wish more would spring for that lovely pastel blue we have." It was a soft linen that was hardly used because menswear was so often the same. No one wanted to take risks. 

You think Alex would go for it. 

You say goodbye to your friends and take a train over to Regents park. It was by far your favorite london park. Not as crowded as Hyde. Greener than Greenwich. 

You get a frozen yogurt with a generous heaping of fruit and take a seat by a bench, setting your wool jacket aside, the sun warm. A welcome sight in the rainy city. Scrolling through instagram and catching up on the books you had on your phone all part of the way read as you scraped time during your morning commute. 

Your phone rings and it's not surprising at all that it's Alex calling. You can't imagine what he could want right now. It's not the weekend but maybe it doesn't matter when your a rockstar. "Hello?"

"Love," he answers easily, "I was wondering how your week was going?" 

"Can't complain. Why?" He'd never called you without a reason. 

"Just wondering? Want to grab a drink?" Your nose wrinkles. Work starts way to early for you to go out drinking. That was a weekend thing for you because being hungover at work was hell. Especially when tailoring was all about perfection in the details. 

"Actually," you offer, "I'm at regents park right now if you want to join me. Or we could meet up and get dinner if you want to?" 

"That works," Alex answers, "call you when I get there."

Alex shows up in his usual get up, hair quiffed up with a ton of gel, and take out, "up for some curry?"

"You are ridiculous," you grin, moving to sit on the grass, drinking all of that sun in. 

"Such a spiffy outfit you've got on today love," Alex notes, looking over the wool trousers you wore, slim cut with that give of schoolboy uniforms and your boxy cut dress shirt. Too many women's shirts had unflattering drop sleeves. 

"Why thank you that means a lot coming from you." 

He clearly cared about clothes. Without anyone there, without having to remember that you had to pretend to be dating him, it was easier to just be there with him. 

Lapsing into customer complaints, "Sometimes navy is the most exotic color yet it's such a neutral! Not to knock on a classic black suit!"

Alex laughs, as you both pass the containers between you. "Honestly I missed all the good indian food in London. LAs not the same."

"I've never been to the states," you admit. 

"LAs nice. I love sunshine. Makes me happy even when I wake up feeling out of it. Can't help but smile when the sun's out."  

"That sounds lovely," you state, "though if the heats anything like spain I think I'll pass."

Alex laughs, "No. Much better. You'd like it I think."

"You hear anything more from Arielle," you ask instead, it sounding too much like he actually wanted you in LA and you couldn't forget how he'd been drunk. How much you wish you had just let him kiss you. 

"She texted me a couple days ago," he shrugs, "nothing much." 

"She seemed nice," you say evenly. "Mm." He clenches his jaw, cleaning up the empty containers. 

"Is she secretly a terrible person?"

"No. Not at all," Alex sighs, rubbing at his temples, "She's just. It's. She's really nice. It's just, as much as I liked her, I just didn't. She wanted to get married and at first I was crazy about her but I don't know. At some point I realized she was in love with me and I wasn't in love with her and she was doing all the actual work because she's so easy going and I felt nothing at the thought of being with her for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong I cared a lot about her but it wasn't love for me. Not like it was for her."

"Wow you dick," you say, trying to ease the tension. "I'm definetly on her side on the breakup." 

"Oi!"

"Yeah," you continue, nudging his shoulder with yours, comfortable sitting close together, "if your over someone don't be a coward and end the relationship."

Alex shrugs in acquiescence. "What about you darling? You mentioned an ex?"

"Oh Tom," you reply easily. You might still hold a grudge but you were over it. 

"He was just an ass when we broke up. I finally get a job, a proper one after my apprenticeship and he gives me shit over not going out and wanting to party so I broke it off."

"And how long ago was this?"

"Two years. He's memorable because he was an ass. Lukas was a sweetheart but he got a job offer in Edinburgh and we decided to call it off like five months ago. It wasn't serious enough to contemplate a long distance relationship."

"But you'd go for one," Alex clairifies."For the right person."

“I think I would,” you answer him, looking into his soulful eyes, brown like those very nice truffles a client had gifted you from belgium, “for the right person.” 

You toss your trash in the bin and put your jacket back on, with the sun setting, the nights turn cool. Clouds in the sky. It'll probably rain tomorrow, as Alex and you walk, making your way slowly to the exit. 

His voice filling the quiet of the night up with tails of misadventure and asking for chips in the states but getting crisps, earning a laugh out of you. 

It feels natural to get a ride home with him, comfortable as you hold on to his waist, his toned muscles flexing under you grasp as you make your way through the city, cold wind in your hair. Alex looking back at you, with a smile on his lips, "not so bad is it?"

"No, it's actually nice," you admit. Motorbikes. Something your mother would never hear of. 

Out of habit, Alex walks you up to your door, thanking you again for hanging out with him like it was a chore.

Like you weren't thrilled to spend time with him. It was Alex and he was charming and made you laugh and your chest warm up when he leans down and kisses your brow with a shy smile, so different from the cocky bastard he tries to be. 

You wonder if this means you can be friends after all this is over. 

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Fate (c.e.) (3/6)

Chapter Three- Kismet

Pairing: Professor!Chris Evans x Student!OFC

Word count: 5.5k

Summary: fate (noun): the development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. (verb): be destined to happen, turn out, or act in a particular way.

Amara is about to start her senior year of college with her newly single best friend, Elizabeth. She goes out one night and meets a handsome stranger, Chris. Sparks fly. Fast forward a week and she finds out Chris is her professor. What happens when she also meets Sebastian, a cute guy from another one of her classes?

Series masterlist

“Are you almost done? He’s gonna be here in a few minutes!” Lizzie shouts from the other side of my bathroom door. It's finally time for my date with Sebastian. After my meeting with Chris, I rushed home to drown my feelings in a couple more pieces of crunchy, peanut butter toast and Sex and the City reruns. Big and Carrie were perfect together when things were great between them. He treated her like the queen she was. I wanted a Mr. Big, without all of the breaking up, moving around the world, and being with other people. It wasn’t until I was getting ready for my date that my Mr. Big could be Sebastian sans all of the breaking up.

I finish re-applying my eyeliner and take one last look at my outfit. The sweater was fitted around my arms, but baggy around my torso, just the way I like it. My light washed jeans popped against my sweater but went perfectly with my new burgundy Converse. My hair was curled, thanks to my best friend, completing my look. I went with a neutral pink color for my lips and added a light gloss for shine. I looked cute, and when I came out of the bathroom, Lizzie repeated my thoughts.

“Are you nervous?” She asks plopping herself on the couch with a couple leftover tacos from Tuesday. She was dressed in an old band tee and a pair of sweatpants from our school. Her make-up was already washed off and her hair was up in a messy bun. She already finished her homework for the weekend and was getting ready to catch up on Supernatural, which I made her watch this summer and now she’s hooked.

“I mean, a little. But it’s Sebastian. He doesn’t make me nervous. I’m just excited to go out on a date. And the fact that it’s with Sebastian just makes it even better.” I smile just thinking about spending time with him, just the two of us. I’m curious to know what he has planned for us. The typical dinner and a movie? Just dinner? Will he try “Netflix and chill” with me? Nah. That doesn’t seem like his style. It doesn’t matter what we do though. I just want to go out on a date with him.

The intercom by the door buzzes, letting us know someone was here. I run over to the door, pressing the talk button. “Who is it?” I ask already knowing exactly who it was.

His rich voice comes through the speaker, “It’s your date for the evening.”

“Hmm, you’re going to have to be more specific.” He opened up that door so I decide to tease him a little bit.

“Your 7 o’clock dinner date.” I giggle, picturing the smile that was fighting not to appear on his cute face.

“Come on up.” I buzz him in and wait for him to come to the door.

“He’s coming to the door? Very classy.” Lizzie comments while we wait. “Seriously, where did you pick him up and does he have any friends?” 

“I’m sure he does. I promise I’ll let you know if I meet them.”

As soon as I hear the three knocks on our door, I open it to a very gorgeous looking Sebastian. He's wearing a burgundy button down with small, vertical and horizontal white stripes, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of medium washed jeans, and a pair of black dress shoes. He's smiling from ear to ear. I tried to keep my cool just seeing how handsome he looked standing in my doorway. And to make it better, he takes a bouquet of red roses out from behind his back. I couldn’t help but let the smile that was fighting to stay hidden take over my face. This guy couldn’t be any more amazing. I put the bouquet in a vase we had under the sink and was out the door.

“So, are you going to tell me what we’re doing yet?” I pester while we were walking to his car. I knew he wasn’t going to budge, but I had to pester as much as possible.

“Nope.” He opens the passenger side door for me. “You’re just going to have to be patient.” I jump in his SUV, eagerly awaiting for this date to start. He hops in and we take off down the road. After about ten minutes, we pull up to my favorite Italian restaurant. I don’t remember telling him about this place being my favorite. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but I’m not complaining.

We have a really nice dinner. We talk about our families and how we grew up. I learn we both had divorced parents. He learned I had an interesting upbringing. I almost didn’t mention any of it because I didn’t want to scare him off with the baggage I had. He didn’t seem too freaked out. He asks me questions about how he thought it all shaped me as a person, how it might affect my choosing of a future husband, etc.. He was genuinely interested in my past and he was really sweet about all of it. I couldn’t help but get butterflies in my stomach thinking about a future with him. I know it’s only our first date, but it feels like I’ve known him all my life. Isn’t that how you’re supposed to feel?

“Alright.” He says closing his car door after dinner. “Enough with the heavy. Let’s have some fun.” We take off down the road towards our next destination. In five minutes, we’re walking up to a live music venue where a indie/alternative band was playing. I’d never heard of them, but I was thoroughly impressed. Sebastian and I sway along to the music, with his arms wrapped around my waist from behind. I had a smile on my face all night long thanks to him. When the show was over and we bought some merch, we hit the local frozen yogurt place before calling it a night.

Overall, it was the most perfect first date I’ve ever been on. When we had finished our sweet treats, he was a perfect gentleman and walked me all the way up to my apartment door. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him. I didn’t want the night to be over. Not yet.

“I had a really nice time tonight.” I know it was the most cliché thing to say at the end of the first date, but in this case it was true. But I didn’t want to come off as too eager and say it was the best date I had ever been on. If I had to pick the ideal date to go on with Sebastian, it was tonight. Hands down.

After some small talk to try and postpone the inevitable, the end of the night came. “Good night, babe.” He smiles as he pulls his hand out of mine. My heart stopped.

I yank him back, “Excuse me,” the blush creeped up in his face and probably in mine too. “Did you just call me ‘babe’?” I had to poke fun at him while I could. Anything to keep this night going a little longer. “Because I believe that’s a ‘girlfriend’ nickname, and you sir, have only taken me on one date.”

“Alright. How many dates do I have to take you on to make that sort of request?” He steps closer, causing the butterflies to go awry in my stomach thinking about what is about to happen.

“Well I’d say that after tonight, that request could be made in one afternoon hang out session, and one dinner and a movie.” I figure that would be an appropriate amount of time for us to spend together for this to be something official. I really like him and I don’t want to rush into things with him. I don’t want to ruin things by going too quickly.

“I think that’s appropriate.” He agrees smiling. He leans in placing a simple kiss on my cheek. How does this simple of a gesture make my heart go pitter-patter and feel all twitter-pated? “I’ll see you Monday.” I watch him walk away, making note that he has the roundest ass I have ever seen before.

I spend the entire weekend in listening to the band from the concert. I suggested numerous songs for Sebastian to listen to, making sure to rope him in as much as I was. I wanted him to come over to listen, but I didn’t want to be too forward. Even though we just had our first date, we were already planning our next date. Since we went out last time, we decided to just stay in, order pizza, and watch movies from his “master collection.” As nice as it was to go out on a date, we both agreed that we would much rather stay in together for our next hangout. We decided on this upcoming Friday, as much as we wanted to hang out again as soon as possible. However since we’re seeing each other on Monday, we decided to postpone it until Friday.

By Monday, I opt for a comfy look with super baggy, black sweatpants and an old, black concert tee. My hair was sloppily put up in a ponytail. The only thing I put effort in my make-up. Even when I felt like crap, I knew I was seeing Sebastian. And he can’t see me all natural. We’re not at that stage yet.

We met up at the coffee shop early enough that there wasn’t too long of a wait.

“You’re letting yourself go already? We’ve only been on one date!” He screeches when he saw me, standing in line. He earned himself a good whack on the arm as soon as I got closer.

“Get used to it, bud. I dress like this 99% of the time when I’m not at school.” I quip back, my tough façade cracking by the chuckle that came out as well. I wanted to be tough but his smile made that impossible. He wraps his arms around my shoulders from behind like it was the most natural thing in the world. Everything with him felt natural; like we had been doing this for years, rather than knowing each other for days. I’m really liking this feeling I get when I’m with him. I feel giddy when he’s around like I have a little school girl crush on him. But I love it. I’ve been waiting for years for this feeling. All I can think is “finally.”

He continues the gesture even when we ordered. We sit down after our drinks were done and food was heated up, chatting until it was time to go to our classes. I didn’t want to go to class though, knowing I would have to face Chris again. I just prayed to God that he wouldn’t ask me to stay after again. I don’t want a repeat of what happened in his office…

Unlike Wednesday’s class, he didn’t go over people’s work. All he did was give us a prompt: Kismet, and how we interpret it. I shake my head when he informed us of this prompt. I know he was meaning it for me, and that’s not okay. So, instead of writing about what I know he wants me to, I write about how I don’t believe in that wonder just to piss him off. When I finish with that, I turn it in and leave with a smirk.

“What are you smirking about?” Sebastian asks when he saw me after his class had gotten out.

“Nothing really. I might have just pissed off my professor.”

“Which one?!”

“The new one who teaches Advanced Writing of Fiction. He told us to write about kismet and how we interpret it, so I write about how I don’t believe in it.” We chuckle at my slightly reckless behavior.

“I knew you were wild, but not wild enough to blatantly disobey your professor.” He throws his arm around me and we start walking towards the cafeteria. “I like it.” He smiles, making my insides turn to goo. Damn him.

That’s kind of how all week went. I did everything I could to defy Chris and what he wanted, and I got closer to Sebastian. He even came over on Wednesday after I was done with my piano practice. Lizzie, him and I hung out all night until he had to leave. He later asked me if that counted as the one afternoon hangout session I had previously mentioned. I said it didn’t count because Lizzie was there. He was a little bummed but I reminded him of Friday and he shut up about it.

When Friday finally came, I go to his rehearsals at 3 and wait for him to be done with that so we could have a relaxing night in. I took the bus to campus instead of driving. Sebastian is going to drive us to his place for the night in. He said the fridge was fully stocked with junk food and drinks for us and he had his movie collection ready for us to plow through. His words, not mine. I shook my head at him when he said that. He’s such a dork.

I did my homework while I waited for his rehearsals to wrap up. When it was finally over, he called me down to the stage so he could tell me that he would shower and then be out so to meet him at the entrance to the building. I packed my stuff and headed that way. I knew I would be waiting a little while but I didn’t mind. I wanted to warm up outside the theater so I wouldn’t be a popsicle for him later. I sat off to the side, by the huge statue of the school mascot and finished what the last portion of my homework.

“Amara?”

I look up to see Chris standing a few feet from me, carrying a gym bag and was all sweaty as if he had just got done working out. I had to stop myself from gasping at how breathtaking he looked. His normally gelled hair was limply hanging by the side of his face, his shirt has V-shaped sweat mark on his chest and under the armpits. He had a towel hanging around his neck, too.

“What are you doing here so late?” Breaking me out of my trance, he comes over to where I was sitting. I look away from him, embarrassed since he probably knew I was staring at him.

“Waiting for a friend to get out of rehearsal. What are you doing here so late?” I mentally facepalm myself for asking such a stupid question. It’s obvious he just got done working out. Now he probably thinks I’m an idiot.

“Just finished my workout. It’s the only time I get to do it and the facilities are free to faculty members. That was one of the selling points when I interviewed for the position.” I snicker knowing that was no lie. I knew he worked out from the second I met him. There’s no way he got those muscles by just sitting at home.

I hear footsteps approaching, taking my attention away from Chris. Thank God it was Sebastian. “Hey, you ready to go?” He asks before registering Chris’s presence. “Who is this?”

I stand up and move closer to him. “This is Mr. Evans. He’s my Advanced Writing of Fiction professor.” I’m hoping he pays enough attention to know that this is the professor I’ve been disobeying and possibly pissing off all week. If he did know, he hid it well. He shakes hands with him.

“I’m Sebastian, Amara’s boyfriend.” I wanted to protest, but the way Chris reacted was priceless. His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared, his mouth moved to a straight line, and he stood up a little taller to try and look bigger than Sebastian, even though they’re about the same height and body mass. Seeing Chris a little jealous was endearing to see. He does care, even if he shouldn’t.

“Well I’ll see you Monday, Mr. Evans.” I drag Sebastian away from the building before anything else could happen. When we were in his car, he had to say something.

“That’s the professor you’ve been trying to piss off?” He gapes at me. “What are you trying to do? Make him fall in love with you?”

“Oh yeah. I’m trying to make him fall madly in love with me by constantly pissing him off. I’m a shoe-in.” I roll my eyes and shook my head.

“And what am I? Just someone to make him jealous ?” He wasn’t serious. His voice was filled with sarcasm.

“Did I not tell you? Sorry…” We glance at each other before bursting out laughing. Maybe at first, I thought he could distract me from thinking about Chris. Yes, it was mean of me to use him like that. But that couldn’t be further from the truth now. I really like him and I think this could go somewhere and turn out to be a great love.

After he started driving, I remembered something. “So, I don’t recall having a boyfriend.” I turn to him, waiting for his answer.

“I know, I’m sorry. It was the first thing that popped in my head.” I guess that was an acceptable answer. “And besides, I do plan on making that happen. Soon.” He winks before returning his attention back to the road. That smooth fothermucker…

As soon as we get to his place, Chris was never brought up again. We engrossed ourselves in numerous movies and indulged in countless amounts of junk food. It was exactly what I was hoping for: a relaxing night in with a wonderful guy. He was a perfect gentleman, too: he didn’t make any moves on me, he waited until I snuggled up to him to put his arms around me, he offered me the last piece of pizza instead of just going for it himself- everything was great. By the time either of us looked at the clock, it was well into the wee hours of the morning. So instead of him driving me home, I spent the night. He offered me my own blankets in case I wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping in the same bed as him. I skipped that, though. We’re adults. We can control ourselves and sleep under the same blankets together.

The next morning, I woke up before he did. I roll over and was greeted with his adorable sleeping face. How can someone who is sleeping look like a ray of sunshine?

“You’re staring.” He groans with his eyes still closed.

“I’m admiring.” I smile back. As if he could see through his eyelids, his sweet smile returned on his face making my heart go pitter-patter. He finally opened his eyes to meet mine.

“Good morning.” He groans again. His voice is extra deep in the morning which was super sexy. I could get used to this.

“Morning.” I snuggle in closer to him, burrowing myself in the crook of his neck. He was warm and still smelled like his cologne that he put on last night. It was a mixture of some kind of wood and soap. It literally smelled like heaven to me.

He wraps me up in his arms and pulls me even closer than I was with our limbs intertwined. We both sigh with contentment. It's obvious neither of us wanted to get up just yet. I actually think he did fall back asleep because after a little while his breathing went back to being slow and steady. I wanted to do the same but I can’t stay in one place for long when falling asleep so there was no way I could have. Instead I used that time to think more about this man. He is literally the total package. He’s smart (he told me he had a 3.7 GPA in high school and had about the same now), he’s a family man (he talks to his mom every day either by calling or texting), he has a great sense of humor (he makes the appropriate amount of jokes but knows when it’s time to be serious), and so much more. The fact that he’s totally adorable is just a bonus.

And for some strange reason, by some miracle, he chose me to spend his time with. I will do everything in my power not to screw up this amazing opportunity that I have been given.

Somehow while thinking, I do drift back to sleep as well. When I awoke though, to my bewilderment I was alone. I left Sebastian’s room to find him in the kitchen, making something that smelled like bacon.

“You’re a ninja.”

“Or you’re just a really heavy sleeper.” He counters with a smirk.

“But seriously, how did you do that? We were a human pretzel.” My astonishment for his skills is blowing my mind.

“Very sneakily.” He winks, returning to the stove where there was bacon in a pan. “Grab a seat at the table. Brunch is almost ready.”

“How long have you been up?” I ask taking my place at the breakfast bar.

“About an hour.”

“Why didn’t you wake me? I would have helped with brunch.” I feel guilty that he was doing everything and I was just sitting here.

He turns off the stove and comes over to me. “You were too cute to wake up.” He quickly pecks my cheek and going back to the food. “Did you sleep good?”

We continue some more small talk until he served French toast with a side of bacon. My mouth immediately starts watering before I could take a bite.

After a delicious meal, he brings me home much to our dismay. He walks me to my door, like the gentleman that he was. “So, Friday, how about we do dinner and a movie after I get done with rehearsal?” He leans up against the wall near my door.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

“You pick the movie and bring the oversized purse, I’ll bring the candy and drinks?” I nod in agreement. I love that we both love getting candy from the gas station and sneak it into the movie theater instead of paying skyrocket prices for the exact same candy. Neither of us like spending so much money on the popcorn so that wasn’t an issue.

He pecks my cheek then started down the hallway. I fumble with my keys to unlock the door.

“Hey Amara?” I look down the hall to see Sebastian at the top of the stairs. He pauses before smirking. “I like you.”

A stupid smile appeared on my face. I knew he did but actually hearing it made my heart swell.

“I’m kinda fond of you, too.”

His smile lit up his adorable face before he disappeared down the stairs. That smile was stuck on my face all day, and every time I closed my eyes I saw his face before he went down the stairs. His words repeated in my head which would make my cheeks hurt more and more every time I thought about him.

I can’t believe this is my life right now. I’m about to graduate from college in something I’m passionate about, I’m going to start an internship at a publishing company a.k.a. my dream job, I have an amazing best friend, and a great guy who adores me as much as I adore him… I’m not naïve enough to think things will be like this for long. I know something is going to happen to screw at least one of those things up. I don’t know which one and I don’t know when, but I’m terrified for when that time comes.

Sunday was a wonderful day, except I couldn’t seem to get comfortable when I tried to go to sleep Saturday night. I tossed and I turned, not able to get comfortable. And when I did doze off, it was a very light, dreamless sleep. It was rather annoying. I woke up at an ungodly hour (7:30am) so I got up, did my homework, and took a nap after lunch. The rest of the night was great until I checked my email before I went to bed. There was an email from Chris, telling me to see him after my classes tomorrow. Nothing about what this impromptu meeting was going to be about. Just simply “See me after your last class tomorrow. -C”. Yay. Can’t wait…

I text Sebastian right away to complain. His response? “That’s what you get for pissing him off MULTIPLE times by disobeying him!” and “Just try not to be too cute. He might fall for you before I get the opportunity to ;)” Why I oughta…

Even after another horrible night sleep, I had to make sure I looked extra good for when I saw Chris. Despite what Sebastian said, I do want to look good to make him realize what he can’t have, while looking good for Sebastian in the meantime. It’s a win-win for me. I put on a white, long-sleeved tunic, dark-washed skinny jeans, and a dark gray knitted, infinity scarf. I throw my hair up into a high ponytail and tease it a little to give it a little extra “oomph”. I do my usual make-up but still added my glasses. I finish the look off with light brown boots and my usual necklaces and earrings. With a few spritzes of some body spray, I'm finally ready. I grab my stuff, leaving with Lizzie.

When we arrive on campus, I see Sebastian waiting in the front of the main building for me like we always did every morning. As I walk up, he shakes his head at me. “You really don’t like to listen, do ya?”

“Nope!” I smile, putting extra emphasis on the “p.” “That’s something you’re going to learn about me pretty quickly.” I stop in front of him. “And by the way, this is for you, idiot.” I poke him in the stomach which was unsurprisingly firm.

“Well in that case…” He throws his arm around my shoulders, kissing my cheek, and escorts me to class. “Good luck with the man.” He whispers before kissing my cheek again and walking down the hall. I roll my eyes and enter the lecture room.

Class wasn’t too bad. He gives us free reign on what we wanted to write about this time. It was nice actually. I just jot down a couple paragraphs about my ideal date and what that would entail. I saw something on Pinterest that I have yet to show Sebastian of a round bed that’s suspended over a lakeside. I have no idea where that could possibly be done or have that sort of thing, but it’s been on my bucket list ever since I saw it a few years ago. We would go around sunset, have a nice dinner on the lake side, then get on the suspended bed, and have a relaxing evening over the lake in the moonlight. Just spending time together in a magically romantic setting is what I would call the perfect date.

When I hand in the finished paper, Chris asks me what time I would be done with my classes so he knows when I will be by.

“I should be done at or anywhere around four. Your office?” He nod so I take that as my cue to leave. I get my food once I get to the dining room and find a table. Sebastian and Lizzie walk up at the same time, talking animatedly about who was the best superhero. I love that they get along really well. If the guy I’m interested in doesn’t get along with my best friend, then I can’t be with that guy. Lizzie is my best friend in the entire world. I will choose her over a guy any day of the week. “Chicks before dicks” as we say. She is going to be around a lot, since we live together. And if things were awkward because they didn’t like each other, well then things aren’t going to end well with the guy.

“So, are we going to meet up after you’re done with your meeting?” Lizzie asks after concluding her argument with Sebastian.

“If you want to wait, that’s fine. If you don’t, I’ll just take the bus home. I don’t exactly know how long this little meeting will be since I have no idea why he wants to meet with me.” I roll my eyes. We already had our meeting to “get to know me and my writing style.” What more could he possibly have to say?

“I’ll wait for you,” Sebastian volunteers. “I have to ask the theater director a few things before rehearsals tomorrow. I can bring you home after, if you want.” He shrugs like his offer wasn’t a big deal, but to me, it was. Is it bad that my heart swelled a little at his generosity? I know he’s here anyway, but still. Just the smallest gesture goes a long way with me.

The rest of lunch goes by quickly, as well as my last two classes. Sebastian and I walk to our class as always and he even walks with me to Chris’s office building before we parted ways. I take a deep breath before entering the building. When his office door came into view, it is cracked so I take that as an invite in.

But when I enter the room, I am not prepared for what I saw…

Chris in a serious lip-lock with a brunette.

He’s sitting on the edge of his desk and she has her entire body pressed up against him. His hands are resting on her hips while hers are wrapped around his neck. I could see the usage of tongue on both of their parts which completely grossed me out.

“Oh God!” I blurt, trying to shield my eyes, but it was too late. I had already seen too much. My outburst seemed to tear them apart. The look on her face made it obvious she was pissed for someone interrupting. His, on the other hand, was filled with shock, embarrassment, and was that a little bit of guilt? “Get a room next time.” I slam the door shut, effectively canceling our meeting.

“Amara, wait!” I hear him shout as I retreat down the hallway. There is no way in hell I would “wait” and listen to his explanation. He doesn’t owe me one. I’m his student. Nothing more… Then why did my heart feel like it was breaking?

“Amara!” His shout is louder this time. I turn to see him coming down the stairs to where I was now.

“If you needed to cancel our meeting, all you had to do was let me know.” I continue down the stairs, not wanting to look at him right now. All I could see was the two of them.

“I didn’t know she would be coming in. I told her that I had a meeting today.” He tried to explain while following me.

“Who is she, huh? Is she your girlfriend?” I turn to see his face. I wanted to know if he would lie to me. That is something I would not tolerate.

He didn’t say anything, though. His fists clenched and unclenched like he wanted to do something but was holding back. His eyes echoed his body language. As he stood at the top of the staircase, he almost looked guilty again. But guilty of what?

And then it clicked…

“She’s your fiancée.” He didn’t have a ring on his finger, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t. I only saw the right side of her so I could have totally missed a rock on her left hand…

Again, he said nothing. He instead looked down as if he were ashamed to admit it. He’s ashamed he got caught; ashamed that he was in a committed relationship when he was with me just a few weeks ago. He cheated on her. With me.

“Unbelievable.” I spit before exiting the stairwell. This time he didn’t follow me. He knew he couldn’t say anything anymore since we would be in public. But that’s okay. I was done with this conversation. I was done with him. From now on, nothing ever happened between us. That night didn’t occur. I went to the bar that night, wrote a little bit, then went home. He and I don’t know each other outside of school. He is my professor. I will see him on Mondays and Wednesdays at 11 until 12:30 and that’s it. The only times I will see him outside of class is when we have a meeting about mid-terms and finals. I will not allow myself to be swept away by him again. I will not let that happen.

Chapter Four- Destiny

Permanent taglist: @elusive-beauty @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @fantasy-is-my-reality @naniky

[guiisooooo-blog]

Love in 15 years

This is all true btw and all names remain anonymous. Love can erupt anywhere, anytime, and with anyone. My love started at the young age of 5. My first taste of love started when we talked in the same class. We started as friends, but i felt something different compared to my other guy friends. It was a feeling like no other. My heart would tremble and fall at her knees. I remember wanting to have her as mine and mourning for her to be with me, but the standards of my fellow classmates and society turned against me. They would forced me to play with them instead of letting me be with her. My bottled up emotions and frustration were taken out onto another girl and I ended up doing something i would regret for years to come. So much so that I would regret saying it even now. Fast forward to first grade and I had to transfer schools. The same girl from kindergarten had come to the same class. I knew it was destiny and I had to take action. This time I took part in the wrong crowd to try and impress her. I changed my look. I started to wear jordans and picked fights. All this did was leave the girl I wanted to impress with a disgusted look and and left a bad taste with her. I was devastated. Time passes and I continued with my look. With my ruined educational reputation, I took a test to transfer into the GT program. I easily passed and took the opportunity. A restart; something to get me out from the old. I needed this. 4th grade and I was in the new program. This was the time when childhood happiness was taken away from me. My mother was away for surgery and the intense workload on my lazy self had me in despair. I wasn't interested in anything and almost never went outside anymore. I hear the doorbell ring. It was my was one of my friends from the 2nd grade. He asked if I wanted to come over and hang out with another person. I jumped on the idea not having gone out in a while. Little did I know I would come to regret this decision. I came to his house with his other friend who lived close by and we played around in his basement. Most of my audience should be aware of what happens in the basement, but my 10 year old self didn’t know. My friend suggest we play a horror game with the lights off, and that is where it started to head south. It was a game similar to hide and seek, but in a small pitch dark room. We would try and find each other and make them afraid. The 3rd round in I started in my corner spot and the lights turned off. Nothing was different than the other rounds. I felt my way around things when suddenly one of my friends jumped on top of me and pulled his trousers down. He dragged himself, lewd and predatory, onto my face. The other friend saw this action and proceeded to do the same to join in on the fun. I was violated and never looked at another male the same way. I dragged myself through the rest of elementary school and went onto a new part of my life; middle school. 6th grade started and the same I noticed the same girl from kindergarten. The same girl I wanted to have. She was like an addiction that I couldn’t get away from. I idolized her in every way, in a similar fashion to a crazy fan. And in the same way as a crazy fan , I physically distanced myself from her and then somewhere along the way, emotionally as well. Looking back it was a simple infatuation. Something I saw as destiny and something I thought I was entitled to was boiled down to lust. Summer after 6th grade my mother started working and didn’t want me left alone so she signed me up for a summer camp. I resisted this idea but reluctantly ended up going. I met someone there. A girl to be more accurate. She was cute, talented, and shared similar tastes to mine. A “perfect” girl. She ended up confessing to me on the gym bleachers nearing the end of camp. I was surprised and didn’t know what to do. I tried to stay oblivious, but some of my feelings would seep through. It was the last day of camp and I mustered the courage to do something. I heartbroken to learn that she had moved away. It was even more painful that she would have gone to the same school as me. In the end I would have to same regrets as most; not doing enough. During the 7th grade, my interest in girls reached a peak. One girl took advantage of me. There was a party over the summer and she cuddled up next to me on the couch. The same day she confessed to me over text. I agreed because of the peak of my interest, but the relationship quickly ended because the agreement was on a whim. 8th grade and I met this girl through my friends. I didn’t know she went to my school because we had no classes together. We started texting over skype when I asked her how to be “cool”. We kept on messaging each other and the conversation would drag on to longer than I would usually stay awake. We would also start conversing during lunch time. While we were playing league My friends started to talk about who this girl liked. I myself got curious and I said I would stay up 48 hours to hear who she liked. Hour one started and I kept her updated throughout the entire 2 day I remember I said something she let me guess at who she liked twice before it started and I guess some random asian guy and them one of my friends I played league with. Both were wrong. I remember saying something during the first half completely oblivious to her feelings towards me. She asked me why I was staying up to find out who she liked and I told her “I was going to make a joke about liking her but stop myself”. It makes me sad that someone could be that oblivious. I would anticipate her texts. She was my salvation from loneliness and I longed for her. After texting for so long I imagine it was natural that i developed feelings, but I didn’t know what I felt. Was it love, competition, or nothing more than pure friendship? She left me in a confused state and I left me wanting more and more from her. We kept talking and talking during the whole experience. I recall catching a cold and she let me take 2 hours off. I offered her a couple IOU’s that she still hasn't spent yet. I finished the challenge and I slept for the next couple hours. After Waking up after my deep slumber one of my league friends tried to convince me that she liked me. I disregarded that fact. Holy shit I was oblivious. A couple hours later I found out the truth. My friend was right. The text hit me right in the heart; “its u”. I was breath taken and didn’t know what to respond with. I regret responding with something as disgusting as “nice 1”. Later I would ask her if she wanted to pursue a relationship with me when the underlying truth was I wanted to start one with her. She agreed and an awkward mess would be born from it. We would continue texting and interacting as if nothing happened. A couple days later I asked her why she liked me. This message would stay with me for the duration of our relationship.”so i like u because i think ur sweet and funny and i like ur personality and i think ur cute” I finally started something and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I played it safe and let her do what I thought she wanted, but I should have done more. I wanted to do more. I was immature and when I looked at other couples I became jealous. After summer started we haven't gone a single date and I described it as “engaged in a romantic relationship” instead of “dating”. This description can describe why I broke up with her. I thought that I couldn’t get anywhere from the point that we were at right now. My immaturity lead to me calling it more of a break than a break up. 9th grade started and I was forced to see the girl that I had broke up with. We exchanged mediocre small talk and shallow facial expressions. I avoided her for awhile until my emotions erupted. I asked if she hated me. She said that she didn’t but I wasn’t so sure. She explained that it was a misunderstanding and she thought that it was what I wanted. The misunderstanding was cleared to a degree and we continued onward with a more friendly relationship. The same confusing feelings started to bubble up to a steam. Christmas was approaching and I had to find a gift for one of my friends.She lived near the store so I decided to bring her a coffee with my friend after I had finished shopping. It was a caramel macchiato;sweet and warming. I stayed at her house for a bit and played some games, but whenever I looked at her I would feel my heart would get excited and I wanted keep my eyes locked onto her. Valentines day was approaching and I had my chance to prove my worth. She agreed to go on a date with me after a bit of pleading. The day arrived and I bought a box of donuts to start a conversation. She declined however. I assumed she already had a few. No words were said afterwards. The bus ride there I didn’t even sit next to her. A couple friends were there with us which made the experience even more awkward than it would have been. The date just consisted of us getting frozen yogurt and talking. It ended with her walking across the street into a different space. A space unreachable by me. I thought I had grown, but it turns out I was the same as before; an immature little boy. I was disappointed in myself and I didn’t want to continue the pursuit because I now knew the truth. I simply wasn’t ready. March came along and the girl I used to want started dating someone else. One of my best friends no less. It left me with a sour and jealous taste in my mouth, but it taught me a valuable lesson. Don’t be a little bitch.

[kembungsusu]

Delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream. Alex Navarro of Fit Living Foodies takes you step-by-step on how to make homemade ultra-low carb, sugar-free chocolate chip ice cream without an ice cream. Cool down with these delicious ice cream recipes—each one is sugar-free and low-carb! With the invention of "saltless" ice cream makers, it is easier than ever to make healthy ice cream at home.

If you like your ice cream funky, Enlightened has crazy-delicious flavors like "All That & A Bag of Chips," "Bananas Foster "The brand that started the low-calorie ice cream trend has delectable flavors," says Rizzo. How to make homemade fat-free, sugarless ice cream is easy and fully illustrated, with complete, simple recipe and directions. Bring the mix to a low simmer over medium heat and stir to dissolve the Stevia (in a prepared form like Truvia, it measures same as sugar; if you use another form, you'll.

Hello everybody, I hope you are having an amazing day today. Today, I will show you a way to prepare a special dish, delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream. It is one of my favorites food recipes. This time, I am going to make it a bit unique. This is gonna smell and look delicious.

Delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream is one of the most favored of current trending foods in the world. It is simple, it is quick, it tastes yummy. It is enjoyed by millions every day. They are fine and they look fantastic. Delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream is something which I've loved my entire life.

Alex Navarro of Fit Living Foodies takes you step-by-step on how to make homemade ultra-low carb, sugar-free chocolate chip ice cream without an ice cream. Cool down with these delicious ice cream recipes—each one is sugar-free and low-carb! With the invention of "saltless" ice cream makers, it is easier than ever to make healthy ice cream at home.

To begin with this particular recipe, we have to first prepare a few components. You can cook delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream using 3 ingredients and 5 steps. Here is how you cook it.

The ingredients needed to make Delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream:

{Make ready 150 g of frozen red fruit.

{Get 50 ml of milk.

{Prepare 3 tsp of (brown) sugar.

Looking for healthy, low sugar ice cream to keep you cool this summer? Discovering that frozen fruit could be blitzed with yogurt or liquid and make low sugar ice cream has been one of my favourite finds of the last few So I create high veg, low sugar recipes that are quick to make, and delicious to eat. Making homemade dairy-free ice cream follows a similar process to regular ice cream—and it's just as delicious. Combine mashed avocados, coconut milk, lemon zest and juice, sugar, and xanthan gum in a blender, chill in the refrigerator, churn in an ice cream maker, and freeze.

Instructions to make Delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream:

Throw the fruit, sugar and milk into an immersion blender cup..

Take the stick blender, and slowly and gently press down on the fruit..

Use a swaying motion to slowly progress down the cup. Don't press too hard or you might damage the blender!.

Once you reach the bottom, pull the blender out, use a teaspoon to get all the fruit off it, and repeat the process until smooth and creamy..

Serve immediately, don't refreeze!.

You can use fat-free or low sugar if you wish. You can also easily make your own at home with my. Serve your homemade vanilla ice cream straight from the ice cream maker or store in an airtight container in the freezer to create a firmer ice cream. Vanilla ice cream is the perfect accompaniment to homemade fruit pies and warm chocolate cakes. It also makes a delicious dessert served on its.

So that is going to wrap it up for this exceptional food delicious low-sugar homemade ice-cream recipe. Thank you very much for your time. I am confident that you can make this at home. There's gonna be interesting food in home recipes coming up. Don't forget to bookmark this page in your browser, and share it to your family, colleague and friends. Thank you for reading. Go on get cooking!

[benjamingarden]

Weekending

Happy Monday friends!  I hope you are doing well.  Summer got off to a steamy start here in upstate NY and we are now enjoying a bit cooler temps.  I'm grateful we get a break from the heat.  Wishing we could catch a break from the humidity as well.  The critters are pretty grateful too. We were blessed with one day of rain during the week which made our lawn and garden quite happy.  We were expecting rain both Saturday and Sunday but we barely had any at all until Sunday night.  Today we're getting a bit more so I expect that the garden will grow by leaps and bounds this week.

 (I trimmed some of the onions - I need to get to the rest!)

(the peas are still doing very well)

In The Garden - our garden has exploded in greenery and fresh veg.  We are blessed with an enormous amount of shade provided by a large number of trees around our property so our garden typically takes a bit longer then most to produce.  But when it does produce we are usually inundated with deliciousness.  Hoping this year will be no different.  I've been watching 5 large green tomatoes, waiting patiently for them to ripen (and praying the chipmunks leave them alone....). Last year I got a bit carried away with planting tomatoes, and this year I got a bit carried away with planting onions and sweet potatoes.  At least onions and sweet potatoes are both veg that can be stored.  And we eat a ton of each (that's how I've justified it to my husband who questioned the massive amount of sweet potato vines and sea of onion tops....).  And I FINALLY have sunflowers growing again!  The past couple of years I've battled the squirrels and chipmunks who both stole my seeds and, for the seeds they missed, ate my baby sunflower plants.  While I can't get too cocky yet, all of my sunflowers are a few feet tall so I'm hopeful they'll make it.

Backyard Wildlife - We have 4 woodchucks living around our property.  We are living in harmony this year so far.  You know the old saying that fences make good neighbors?  Well, fences also make it possible to live in harmony with wild critters so they don't demolish the garden.  Leaving them fruit and veggie bits make them quite happy as well. We were actually quite abundant in wildlife this year.  We have birdhouses around the property that were all full of birds raising their babies.  We also had some nest-building.  One Robin built her nest in our lean-to where we store our trash cans.  We would accidentally scare her when we would go to dump trash so we began whistling so she knew we were coming.  She would fly out when we'd whistle and then squawk at us from a tree a few feet away until we left. One evening, after her young were fully feathered, the chicks decided to try flying when we were both at the trash can and mama bird was in the tree squawking.  Jay had just opened the lid to the trash can when a chick went plummeting into it.  I was able to carefully dig it out and it sat on my hand for a bit before attempting to fly again.  Poor momma began chirping wildly.  She eventually gathered the 3 chicks and all was well.  They have since moved on.  Actually, the last of our bird families just left this past week.

In The Kitchen - many of you have emailed me after trying the Healthier Chocolate Zucchini Cake and have shared that you LOVE it.  I'm so happy to hear that!  Some of you have requested a vegan version and I haven't gotten it completely worked out.  Mostly because I'm trying not to eat much flour these days, but I will give it a go in the next month. Batch cooking has been a priority so I don't have to heat the house up every night.  I've been enjoying many different themed bowls and Jay sometimes has what I prepare for myself as a side and other times we use the grill's side burner to cook his side.  His meat is cooked on the grill as well so the house stays cool. Yesterday I cooked up some Cilantro-Lime Brown Rice and Mexican-Style Lentils that I'll pair with a fresh salsa, steamed broccoli or cauliflower, and raw greens.  I will probably make a non-dairy "cheese" sauce and roasted potato bites to use as well.  This way I can either have the rice, lentils, salsa, broccoli and greens or the potatoes, lentils, cauliflower, greens and cheese sauce. I've also been enjoying a summer squash and (oil-free) pesto soup that I concocted one day.  I'm not usually a soup fan in summer but it is simple and delicious.

In The Coop - the poor Coop Girls.  They love the summer but absolutely detest high heat and humidity.  We put their box fan in one of the coop windows to provide some relief hot days.  They get up on the roost that is across from the fan, spread their wings out a bit, and just enjoy the breeze it provides. We dusted the coop with diatomaceous earth to prevent mites and other pests that the humidity attracts.  For the most part, egg production is good.  When we have stretches of humidity it does drop a bit.  I can't blame them - I'm not a fan of it either.  We are giving them plenty of fruit and grains soaked in water, yogurt, or milk as treats which they are enjoying.

Oliver - he's doing very well.  We've been eating dinner out on the deck since we realized we could put up an outdoor canopy/tent with screened walls to allow us a bug-free dining space.  Oliver has been bummed because our outdoor table and chairs are tall so he can't feel like he's a part of it.  So, feeling bad for him, Jay made him his very own stool of sorts.  It's kind of like a toddler tower but fits one of his smaller beds.  He LOVES it!  He sits right next to me and adores that he can see us as well as what's going on around the property from a different viewpoint.  Slightly spoiled?  Yes, I know.

Jack - poor Jackson.  People have been shooting off fireworks on random nights between 9:30 and 10 and he goes into a full-on panic.  He detests loud noises and there's just no calming him down.  I've started giving him Bach's Remedy on the nights when they start up.  I think it's helping a bit.  Other then that he's doing well.

Around The House - home projects have slowed a bit but I plan to paint the dining room this week (hooray!) and hopefully get to the living room in a couple of weeks.  I would like to get to the stairwell and painting the radiators on the main floor as well, but not sure if there will be time.  We'll see.  Jay worked on trimming the vines that were killing the trees both on our property and just outside of it.  As you know, we adore our shade so he's been working on them for the last few years.  I think he's finally got it! He's been working on installing gutters on our outbuildings and I believe he's going to work on painting the exterior of our home next. (same color, just needs to be scraped and painted)  We determined that if he paints 2 sides instead of all 4 then it's much easier to fit into the summer schedule.  So, he'll do 2 this year and 2 next year and then it will be awhile before it's needed again. We're hoping to be able to find the time to replace one of our front porches this year as well.  It needs a bit of rebuilding because there is some rot, and then we'll be putting trex decking down.  If we get one done then we plan to get the second porch completed next year. Oh, and remember that I mentioned I was going to let my hair go gray after my mother passed away?  Yup, I am definitely gray!  My hair is absolutely white in the front but blended a bit in the back because I still have some brown to grow out.  It will be a year in August since I've started letting it grow out.  Honestly, I don't mind it.  I'm happy to not be using hair dye every month, so it's worth it.

The Business - Our farmer's market has definitely slowed since we don't have the amount of out-of-towners that we usually have, but we certainly can't complain.  Our locals have been incredibly supportive and our online store continues to do well too.  We are in full production of product right now.  Some of our craft shows have cancelled their shows for this year and we anticipate the remainder will eventually cancel as well.  We have no idea what will happen in fall and winter this year so we're just taking it a day at a time. That seems to be everyone's theme for the year. Hoping you had a lovely weekend as well! Do tell - did you do anything fun or productive?  Cook anything delicious?  Read a good book? Little Bit Of Link Love: Do you love garlic scapes?  How about dilly beans?  Ever thought of putting them together?  Me neither!  Our VERY favorite museum shares the recipe and I think I'll be trying it this year.  (shelburne museum) Summer is when local fruit is perfectly ripened and widely available but it's also a time when it's too hot to want to do any canning.  Marisa shares a post/guide for making jam from frozen fruit.  A perfect compromise!  (food in jars) Speaking of canning, this raspberry-peach-ginger jam that is sweetened with honey is speaking to me.  I'm loving ginger these days!  (rachel wolf) (affiliate link) My FAVORITE non-stick alternative pans.  I've struggled to find a pan that works for delicate things like eggs and crepes and I have finally found a pan that works great! I love them so much I bought all 3 sizes with lids in Lava Black. (amazon)

Weekending was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[meatismurderbutalsodelicious]

How to Stock Your Pantry for the Semi-Apocalypse*

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for many of my friends in the United States, what with the pestilence, the lack of leadership, the hoarding in the supermarkets, and it’s not even the post-Apocalyptic dystopian future we were promised.

However, what’s been slowly creeping into my Facebook feed of late are the first hints of food boredom.

Even those who can afford to order in their favorite Chinese or Mexican, those menus are getting a bit long in the tooth. What once was an “every couple of weeks” guilty pleasure of General Tsao’s chicken, “special” fried rice and a bottle of your favorite twist-off cap Shiraz has lost its charm.

Anyone who follows my Instagram account knows that nothing comes between me, food and cocktails. I’m the guy who when answering the questionnaire at a new doctor’s office warily counters the “how many alcoholic drinks do you have a week” inquiry with a defensive, “Why do you need to know?”

“I hear you like to cook?” I’m often asked when being introduced to new friends and colleagues and my go-to answer is, “Yes, but I prefer to eat.”

And that’s why I cook. I wish I could say I find cooking to be this relaxing past-time, where I spend anywhere from 15-minutes to several hours whipping up a quick pasta sauce or creating a complex Indian curry, listening to Adelle or Carly Simon—a glass of Muscadet in hand. But, no. Cooking, for me, is an ordeal and a means to an end.

Homemade beef pho broth.

But that’s doesn’t mean it can’t be somewhat enjoyable; your food doesn’t have to be predictable or monotonous. And, if you’re going to be confined to your home for three to four weeks, this is where you have to improvise, to grab the whisk by the handle and make the magic happen.

The Basics

First, if you’re entering week three of isolation and it’s time to hit the markets, let’s think smart and make sure your fridge and pantry are stocked with the vitals. If you have food allergies or adopted a lifestyle that has dietary restrictions, please, swap out as needed.

Some of you have been furloughed or lost your jobs, so this is a reasonably priced list offering staples that will last a long time and give days, if not weeks, and in some cases, months of value. Buy what you feel is necessary. As Stephen Casuto, host and creator of one of my favorite cooking shows, Not Another Cooking Show, says, “You, do you.”

“Table salt is disgusting and should only be used for rubbing into the wounds of your enemies.”

The Carbs:

Pasta — enough for at least six meals for two people with leftovers, or three meals for four people (spaghetti/linguini and some kind of tube or macaroni—rotini, fusilli. etc.)

Rice — My old standby is Jasmine rice. Prepared properly it can be used in all kinds of dishes—plain, Mexican, Spanish, Asian, Indian, Italian.

The Vegetables:

Potatoes—Technically, a carb, but, hey. Both waxy (Yuko Golds, Red Bliss or similar) and floury (Idaho, Russet or similar). Keep in a cool, dry drawer, these can last for weeks if stored properly.

Preparing the base for a Pasta Fagioli soup.

Carrots—Large ones with their greens preferred, but if the hoarders have bought all those, then freakish manicured baby carrots.

Tomatoes—firm, preferably on the vine and not quite ripe yet. Only get about four to six so you will use them and they won’t rot and go to waste. Great for sandwiches, avocado toast, chopped into an omelet.

Onions—Yellow and Red (Yellow for most of the sauteeing and cooking you’re going to do, and red for fresh salads, sandwiches, and salsas)

Garlic—Two to three decent-sized bulbs, stored with the onions and potatoes. (Remember: Warm and humid makes your garlic and onions grow into stinky house plants.)

The easy and delicious weekday sauce.

Peppers—Depending on what you love or what you can tolerate, get at least two bell peppers or Italian green peppers, maybe a handful of hot red birdseye chillis, or some habaneros. These will add color and sparkle to everything from a salad to some scrambled eggs.

Celery—I’m of two minds when it comes to celery. First, it’s a vital part of mirepoix, that magical combination of onions, carrots, and celery that’s the basis of most Western soups and stews. But, unless you’re on a rabbit diet, people tend to buy it, use less than half a bunch in one minestrone soup then end up chucking the rest away. But, hey, you’re the cook.

Herbs—Get the dried kind out of desperation: bay leaves, oregano, thyme, rosemary. But, always get fresh parsley and basil.

Dried Goods:

Flour—White, all-purpose flour and Cornmeal (making cornbread for breakfast is a simple warm treat. Everyone should be able to cook this from scratch).

Thickeners—Corn starch, potato starch; I recently discovered xanthan gum and if you’re one of those folks taken by “molecular gastronomy” or food as a science project, this is one of the weirder thickening agents on the market.

Cornbread can be made in less than an hour.

Leavening Agents—Baking soda and baking powder. (Unless you’ve decided you really love baking artisanal bread, you really don’t need yeast).

Salt—Preferably sea salt, or kosher salt. Remember different salts have different salinities, so a “pinch” of pink Himalayan salt is less salty than a similar size “pinch” of Morton’s Table Salt, which, by the way, is disgusting and should only be used for rubbing into the wounds of your enemies. So, get a salt that fits your budget, your health needs, and your personal flavor profile. I prefer sea salts, they have a richness I like and I feel I can control seasoning better.

Pepper—Black peppercorns, of course, but nothing beats having a box or container of white pepper. It’s got a completely different flavor profile than black pepper and adds a wonderful heat to everything from mashed potatoes to cream soups.

Eggs and Dairy

Milk—If you’re lactose intolerant or vegan/vegetarian you can substitute soy milk or your favorite substitute here, but not almond milk because that shit is a ripoff and is killing the planet.

Cream—You will want this for mashed potatoes and to thicken some sauces.

Butter—Always buy Kerrygold Irish Butter, salted and unsalted. It’s the best butter out there. Fight me.

Making a chicken curry from scratch

Plain Yogurt—I prefer Greek yogurt myself. It’s handy to have around and a great way to add richness to a baked item if you only have low-fat milk or to make a quick fresh fruit breakfast.

Cheese—If you must, get a bag of shredded cheddar and a bag of “parmesan”. Cheeses are personal taste, I love fatty, creamy, stinky cheeses, but, honestly, they don’t last long and they are an extravagance for many people at this time. So, get what you like, but make sure you at least have a nice chunk of quality cheddar or similar cheese around.

Eggs—A dozen, big ones. Free-range if you feel guilty.

This Singapore-style laksa is easy and quick.

A Bit of the Sweet

Sugar—Processed sugar is evil. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, always have some handy. It’s great to throw a tablespoon into a tomato-based sauce to offset the acidity. And there is nothing like a lovely stack of homemade pancakes covered in melted butter, a sprinkling of sugar and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.

Brown Sugar—Less sweet, a little smokey and great for Asian broths that ask for processed sugar. And, it’s “good” for you because, you know, it’s not processed.

Maple Syrup—For pancakes and French Toast.

Condiments:

Ketchup—Whatever you like. Though raised on American Heinz ketchup, I prefer the British brands that tend to use a little more vinegar, but that is an acquired taste.

Mayonaise—The magical base for so many different dressings and sauces. Yes, I will sit down with a plate of french fries or steak-cut chips and a cup of mayo and just go to town on that. Also, dipping cold, boiled chicken that’s torn into strips and wrapped in chilled, crisp iceberg lettuce into mayo while drinking a dry white wine on a hot summer’s day is one of God’s little miracles.

Fried halloumi cheese on a run of the mill avocado toast makes it better.

Mustard—Go ahead, buy French’s American Mustard in a squeeze jar. I don’t judge. But, please get some good Dijon Mustard, and some English Mustard, wet or the powder, is really handy to have for extra punch.

Vinegar—Plain old white vinegar if you're on a budget, but red wine, is also good. Italian balsamic if you want to live large, but I find a bottle of Japanese rice wine vinegar is the perfect all-rounder.

Hot sauce—Tobasco and Siraccha are my go-to faves, but you know what you like.

Olive Oil—Get Extra-Virgin and plain. the EVOO is great for both cooking and for finishing dishes and for cold dressings and sauces. Plain olive oil is great for adding flavor to simple fried sauces and dishes.

Vegetable Oil—A good neutral oil is Canola. It won’t kill you.

Prepared Foods

Canned Goods—at least one can of each: chickpeas, black beans, and kidney beans. Also, a can of mushrooms and a couple of cans of diced green chillis. Two to three 24-ounce cans of Italian tomatoes, with our without basil.

Frozen vegetables—A package of corn and a package of peas. One package of mixed vegetables for making quick healthy soups.

Broths and stocks—Beef, chicken, and vegetable. Fish stock for the more adventurous. (If you haven’t had sliced potatoes slow-cooked in fish stock, I totally recommend it, simple and delicious.) I always buy low-sodium because my body is, like, you know, a temple. 🙄

Actually, always try to purchase low sodium processed foods, that gives you, the cook, more power over the seasoning of your meals.

Thai beef soup with beef balls.

Now, you’re thinking, why is this guy torturing us with pictures of beautiful, exotic home-cooked meals? Why are so many of the “basics” not as exciting as the final products?

That’s because now is the time to get what I’ll call…

The New Basics

You’ve hit the local Vons, or Trader Joe’s, Publix or Wegman’s; you’ve emptied your wallet at Whole Foods and Kroeger, now let’s get some real food. Head down to your local Asian supermarket, or your local South American/Mexican supermarket, because this is where it gets interesting.

The Carbs:

Noodles—From Japanese soba, udon and Hokkaido (ramen) noodles to the long, translucent Vietnamese and Thai rice noodles to the tightly wound, sometimes flavored Chinese noodle nests, most of these keep a long time in a dry cool place and they cook quickly offering alternative tastes and textures.

The Vegetables:

Fresh Ginger Root—it’s ugly and essential, but it can change the flavor of everything from a simple broth to a quick scrambled egg into a culinary adventure. No, don’t peel it with a spoon, that’s silly. Just use a sharp knife on the extraneous knobbly bits and then use a vegetable peeler like a normal person. Honestly, I see the YouTube chefs wrestling with a chunk of ginger and a tablespoon and I just shake my head.

Choy Sum and/or Bak Choy—Definitely hunt these down at the Asian grocer. They stay fresh longer in a good vegetable crisper in your fridge; they’re easy to clean and prepare and cook very quickly.

Chayote—A green, waxy squash that is like a more flavorful cucumber, with a great texture. Add it to all your veggie soups, or saute it with some garlic. Just handy. And keeps in the fridge for a long time.

Condiments:

Soy sauce—Get both kinds, dark soy sauce and light soy sauce. The difference isn’t the color, it’s the viscosity and the flavor. Dark soy sauce is actually somewhat sweet, unctuous and thick and adds deep rich flavors to stews, soups, and sauces. Soy sauce is a nice alternative to just seasoning with salt. Get low sodium, if dietary restrictions are in place, but you don’t really need to use too much, so, I always go with regular.

Chili Oils/Pastes—Much like the fresh peppers, this is all about personal taste. I love spicy food, but I’m not a fan of heat for heat’s sake. So, no a jalapeno margarita where I can’t taste anything or feel my lips is not a great culinary experience. Still, always have these little miracle jars handy, you control the heat by how much or how little you add to the dish you’re preparing. My three faves are traditional Chinese chili garlic sauce, Chiu Chow chili oil, and Calabrian chili oil.

Vinegar — Plain old white vinegar if you’re on a budget, but red wine, is also good. Italian balsamic if you want to live large, but I find a bottle of Japanese rice wine vinegar is the perfect all-rounder.

Fish sauce—Don’t let the name and smell deter you, a spoonful of this elixir in a soup or dressing adds a lovely saltiness and brightness.

Sesame Oil—Plain or toasted. This is for flavor only, really. You can add it to dressings, or add it to vegetable oil when sauteeing, but you can’t cook with it because it burns very quickly; that said, it gives a great depth of flavor to any dish you add it to.

Frozen Foods:

Dumplings—Either factory-made or handmade, Asian dumplings are inexpensive, delicious and easy to prepare. Beef, pork, shrimp, and vegetable or a combination of two or more fillings are always available. Korean dumplings tend to be larger. Wontons are light and mostly shrimp or shrimp and pork. If you’re lucky to have a vibrant Asian community, find the “Mom and Pop” store that makes both noodles and dumplings. Fresh dumplings are usually packed with a light dusting of corn or potato starch so they can be easily frozen.

Asian-style meatballs—OK, now these have a texture that takes a little getting used to, but they are packed with protein and flavor and cook up in seconds in a frying pan or in a soup. Pork, beef, and shrimp are the most popular. I love them and find they really make a noodle soup a quick, but truly satisfying meal.

Canned Goods:

Coconut Milk—From Indian to Thai to Malaysian cuisine, this is mother’s milk. Get a couple of cans.

Peppers—Canned chipotles. Smoked in a flavorful sauce, a little goes a long way here. But you can add these to soups and basic stews to create great depths of heat and flavor.

Okay, now this is by no means a definitive list, but it’s enough I think to give you as many options as you can once you return home and prepare for the next few weeks of personal time.

As you’ve seen, I’ve included links to some of my favorite recipes with the pictures, it’s from these recipes that I reevaluated and changed how I stock my fridge and pantry.

It’s also helped inform my cooking. Bored with cereal and toast, and fried eggs, or scrambled eggs or an omelet with bacon, one morning I created what is now my favorite, flavorful, high protein, yet not too filling breakfast; scrambled eggs and dumplings. It’s my recipe, inspired by other more traditional recipes and the food I had available at the time. It’s what Chef John from the delightful Food Wishes refers to as “that’s just you, cooking.”

The First Recipe

Ingredients:

Three eggs, room temperature, well beaten, preferably in a metal bowl with a whisk

One to two scallions or a half/third of a small yellow onion, finely chopped

One chili pepper (in this case, a Thai green chili), finely chopped.

Four to six frozen Asian dumplings depending on what type

2 Tablespoons — Vegetable oil

1 Tablespoon — Sesame oil

Chiu Chow chili oil or Sriracha

Soy Sauce

Salt

In a small saucepan bring water to a boil. In a small frying pan add your vegetable oil, the onions, and chilis and some salt and turn on the heat.

You want the onions and chilis to cook slowly and sweat, not burn or brown so keep an eye on them and keep stirring.

Now once the vegetables are cooked and the kitchen smells delicious, add a tablespoon of sesame oil into vegetables and lower the heat.

Now, the water should be at a rolling boil. Add the dumplings. I used Korean pork dumplings this morning. They only take three to five minutes to cook. You will know they are done when they float and spin freely in the water.

Now, turn up the heat of the frying pan and add in the eggs, keep stirring and cook the eggs as you like them. Take the eggs off the heat, the residual heat should finish the cooking.

Meanwhile, the dumplings should be cooked. Strain them and place them in the bottom of a bowl. Then scoop over the eggs, finish with a tablespoon or two of soy sauce and the chili sauce of your choosing.

This is a 15-minute breakfast, tops. I hope this was helpful. It’s a trying time for everyone and many of us are fortunate enough to have a roof over our heads that we can cower under. This is an opportunity for reflection, but also to make the most of your family or companions. For those of you living alone, treat yourself to a culinary feast once in a while.

I say cooking is an ordeal, but it’s also a celebration. A chance to be creative and offer comfort, if not for yourself, for the people you live with and love.

Go break an egg.

*This article is the inspiration for this blog and was previously published on Medium.

[musicalsnstuffs]

absolutely smitten

absolutely smitten (a boyf riends fanfic)

or, Jeremy Heere and a boring summer, fro-yo, a cute boy, and Carly Rae Jepsen

A/N: hope you enjoy this! this is the first fanfic I’ve written in a while, so I’m more than a little rusty. if you find any mistakes or anything, feel free to send me an ask. I plan on doing some more boyf riends fics, maybe some reader insert fics, and hopefully some things for Hamilton and DEH! anyway, thanks so much for reading!! (btw, I would love for you to send me requests for fics/headcanons!)

“Yes!” Brooke practically shouted when the clock on the wall struck two, “Sorry, Jer, that’s my cue.”

Jeremy sighed, adjusting the hat on his head, “It’s alright, you’re the one who has a date with an actual girlfriend.”

Brooke patted his shoulder, taking off her apron and saying, “Don’t be so melodramatic! C’mon, it’s only June, you have plenty of time to have a hot summer romance.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, saying a quick greeting to a family who walked in, and muttered, “Yeah, like that’s definitely going to happen.” Brooke looked at him with her eyebrows raised, but didn’t say anything, going to the backroom to grab her bag and change out of her uniform.

He stared at the bright green and pink wall, willing the clock to move faster. Only 4 more hours to go and then he’d be back at home, probably playing Apocalypse of the Damned for the 15th time. Honestly, Jeremy didn’t expect to be doing much else this summer other than working at Pinkberry with Brooke, playing video games, and wallowing in his (totally justified) teen angst.

“Well, if you do find someone, you have to tell me every detail,” Brooke said sincerely, coming back to stand in front of Jeremy. “How do I look? Is this too fancy? I mean, we are just going to the movies, but...”

“Brooke, you look amazing. Chloe is so lucky to be dating you, honestly,” Jeremy said, smiling, “Now go have fun and make out or whatever.”

Brooke grinned back at Jeremy, giving him a quick side hug and a wave, and ran out to her car. Jeremy could see the groups of other teens hanging out in the parking lot from his spot at the cash register, the sun blindingly bright against the blue sky.

Jeremy waved halfheartedly and sighed once more. “Maybe I could go to the mall or something after work,” he thought. He began to think how lame just wandering around by himself would look. “Never mind, I’ll just watch something on Netflix or whatever.”

Trying not to count down the seconds ‘till he could clock out, he went to the backroom to fill up the frozen yogurt machines.

    Ring! The sound of the bell over the door brought Jeremy out of his stupor.

    “Jesus, who gets frozen yogurt at 9 PM?” he thought irritatedly, looking up to give the usual greeting, and froze.

    It was a boy not any older than he was. The boy had messy dark hair, glasses, and a bright red jacket covered in patches. All in all, he was really fricking cute.

    “It’s like 70 degrees outside, why are you wearing a jacket?” Jeremy blurted out the question in his mind and felt his cheeks grow hot the moment the words escaped him.

    “Well, I’ve never gotten that as a ‘hello’ before,” the boy laughed, walking over to the bowls next to the dispensers.

    Jeremy felt his blush grow stronger (if that was even possible). “Sorry, I didn’t - that was weird, I dunno why I said that,” he rambled, trying desperately to backtrack because the cute boy probably thought he was a complete weirdo and why the did he say that in the first place, fuck.

    “Dude, it’s cool. I was just kidding,” the boy grinned in reassurement, sending a whole swarm of butterflies through Jeremy’s stomach. Jeremy couldn’t help but notice the crinkles that appeared around the boy’s eyes when he smiled, and he looked away for a second. Taking off his red sweatshirt and tying it around his waist, the boy went to the counter to get his frozen yogurt.

    Thoughts of wanting to ask the cute boy out (as well as thoughts of how to get his name so he didn’t have to keep calling him ‘cute boy’) filled Jeremy’s head. He stared at random areas in the shop, the chairs, the parking lot outside, that fricking clock, trying not to look back or seem creepy.

    The boy was finished getting his fro-yo and walked up to the cash register. Jeremy smiled (charmingly, he hoped) and started to ring him up. Giving the boy his change, Jeremy’s heart sank when he realized he hadn’t figured out a smooth way to ask him out yet. Suddenly, Jeremy caught a glimpse of the boy’s shirt and gasped.

    “Wait, you play Apocalypse of the Damned, too?!” he exclaimed when he spotted the logo on the cute boy’s shirt. Jeremy internally yelled with happiness when he saw the boy nod excitedly.

    “Yeah, I do! You play it? I thought it was so old that nobody else played it except me!” the boy said in delight, a gorgeous (“Snap out of it, Heere,” Jeremy thought) smile spreading across his face.

    “I love it! It’s basically been my whole summer so far, other than just working here,” Jeremy explained, rambling on, “I mean, other than that, my summer’s been pretty boring.”

    God, I hope that doesn’t make me sound pathetic.

    “Well…” the boy almost looked...nervous? “I was thinking of asking you something, and maybe it would make your summer less boring?”

    “What is it?” By this point, Jeremy’s stomach was in knots, and he wrung his hands on his apron.

    “I was wondering, um, would you want to go on a date with me, sometime?” the boy said quickly, looking down. “I mean, if you-”

    “Yeah, I’d love to!” Jeremy said, smiling so wide his face hurt, freaking out because holy shit the cute guy wanted to go on a date with him, what the hell-

    “Wait, when are you off?” The boy asked.

    Jeremy remembered his shift was over at 10, and it was only 9:15. “Crap, I’ve still got an hour ‘till I’m off work,” he sighed, “But-” Grabbing a napkin and a pen, Jeremy wrote out his number and handed it to the boy.

    “Call me, maybe?”

    “...Did you just quote Carly Rae Jepsen?”

    At Jeremy’s silence to the question, the boy loudly laughed, sputtering and covering his face. Jeremy felt his face grow red again and tried to defend himself, “That was an accident, I swear. This place plays that song way too many times.”

    The boy finally calmed down, taking the napkin and his frozen yogurt, “That was freaking adorable.”

    He looked up at the clock and muttered something under his breath, “Agh, I gotta go, sorry. But I’ll call you when you’re off work?”

    “That’d be great,” Jeremy smiled and waved as the boy walked towards the exit.

    “Oh, wait!” the boy turned around at Jeremy’s voice, “I didn’t catch your name!”

    “It’s Michael Mell,” he grinned, “What’s yours?”

    “Jeremy. Jeremy Heere,” Jeremy answered. “Talk to you soon?”

    “I’ll call you!” the cute bo-Michael exclaimed, waving goodbye and walking out the door.

    Jeremy watched as Michael left the parking lot and strolled down the street, the purple and pink sunset acting as a perfect backdrop.

    “Michael Mell,” he whispered under his breath.

    Maybe this summer wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[diamon-dog]

Entertaining Backyard Games To Play With Your Dog

One of the most effective elements of getting dogs is going to play and celebrate with them! curtilage games to play along with your dog ar an incredible thanks to bond and burn off additional energy.

As I’m certain you recognize, tired dogs are happy dogs!

Keep yourself from speculative if your dog is uninterested in these fun curtilage ideas for dogs to play.

Read on for excellent ways in which to create the foremost of the outside playtime with diverting pet games for dogs and for you to fancy also.

These ideas can keep you from speculative a way to play with dogs in your yard and supply every kind of fun for your fur family!

Best curtilage Activities For Dogs

Kong Jumbler

Zip & Zoom outside lightness Kit

Paw Treat mildew

Kong

Laser Pointer

Dog Pool

Play Chase along with your Dog

Playing chase is often a fun, easy game to play with dogs in your backyard! It’s very easy to simply romp and chase one another.

Roxy sometimes starts the sport by grabbing her favorite Kong Jumbler ball, then I’ll run once her and she’ll play keep-away. anti-racketeering law joins in by going the other direction from Maine and that we try and catch her.

We all have a blast and it’s nice for them to induce some dog exercise in.

Having many dog activity toys that are specifically outside dog toys keeps Roxy from losing interest and losing interest within the toys.

They’re forever excited to examine them and play with them within the yard!

Set Up associate lightness Course For Your Dog

Agility courses have a touch of a learning curve, however, it will give endless fun for your dog! begin tiny with straightforward to master course in their dog play space, excellent for increasing your dog’s skills and confidence.

As they learn, you'll add new aspects to your home course. an excellent book on teaching your dog lightness is “The Beginner’s Guide to Dog Agility” by Laurie Leach.

Their ar even ways in which to stay your course budget-friendly by DIY-ing it! Use rain dance hoops for spring through, PVC sticks for weaving, and boxes for creep through.

Handy with construction tools? take into account building your own! This book has all the small print you wish.

Looking, for one thing, a touch additional skilled looking? There are plenty of choices on Amazon! Outward Hound makes an excellent, reasonable set with a hoop, weaves, and a tunnel!

Take a Dip during a Pool

A perfect thanks to chill outside is to leap within the pool! Not lucky enough to possess an enormous swimming pool? provides a kiddie pool a shot! Let your dog paddle and celebrate. Their ar even some created a touch additional sturdy for pups here.

For an additional blast, throw some pool toys within so that they will fish them out.

Nighttime optical maser Pointer Chase

We solely get to play this game throughout the autumn and winter, with our nineteen-hour American state summer days creating it touch not possible throughout the summer. It’s undoubtedly at the highest of R&R’s list of favorite curtilage games, though!

It’s such a straightforward game, and everyone you wish could be a tiny optical maser pointer. Keep it aimed toward the bottom and watch your pup zoom around attempting to catch it.

Roxy dashes over anytime she hears the clink of her optical maser pointer and gets therefore excited!

Sometimes, if we’re hanging move into the recent tub, I’ll bring the optical maser pointer so that they will play whereas we tend to relax.

Treat Your Dog To Frozen Snack Time

Everyone loves a pleasant, cool treat on a heat day, as well as your upper! Prepare therefore snacks to stay within the electric refrigerator for them so you’re forever ready.

Make associate ice pop with broth and come by some tiny chicken chunks, bits of carrot or peas, or the other food your dog likes. Freeze it into cute very little molds ( i like this one on Amazon!) and pop into your dog’s bowl for a cold snack.

Frozen Kongs are another good way to stay your dog busy with a delectable treat. Fill the Kong with paste, yogurt, a touch of vanilla frozen dessert, or different delectable bits of food.

Freeze for an associate hour or 2, then serve to your dog. the chilliness can stretch out the time it takes to induce everything out, therefore they’ll get to figure a touch more durable and have additional fun.

Toss The disk Around

If your dog is sweet at transferral things back, a disk is plenty of fun! It’s one of the most affordable ways in which to induce your dog moving and chasing things.

Playing disk is additionally super easy, as long as they are doing perceive the thought of transferral it back, therefore, you'll throw it once more.

Classic Fetch Fun

This is the foremost classic game for dogs, and permanently reason! several dogs fully love a straightforward game of fetch.

You can toss a ball, stick, limb, no matter what your dog prefers. Then have them bring it back to you, and you'll throw it once more and once more and again!

Set Up a Dog Puzzle Playspace

Puzzles are an excellent thanks to working your dog’s brain whereas providing useful mental stimulation. They’re our favorite sort of dog enrichment toys!

Why not bring them outside to fancy the recent air whereas determining their puzzles? stock up their favorite puzzle with treats or dry food and set it in a part with restricted distractions. Then hang around with them and watch their brains work it out!

Teach Your Dog Toy Names

Make curtilage time a fun learning expertise by teaching your dog their toy’s names! we tend to a variety of stumbled into this one with Roxy once she started reading on the names we’d use for her toys.

We engineered on it by taking them outside and telling her to induce specific toys.

We’d say “go get Red Ball!” and obtain super excited once she’d grab the right toy! currently, she’s learned the names of Monkey, Dragon, and Purple Stick, among others (we’re not super artistic with our names around here lol).

She’s conjointly learned the distinction between within toys and outdoor toys to stay dogs busy, even though she very needs soft, soft Monkey to travel together with her everyplace, as well as rainy potty breaks!

Sniff ‘N Search

Bring out the foul treats and let your dog work their nose. Sprinkle some foul treats on the bottom around you, and let your dog forage for them by exploiting their nose.

If your dog could be a bit meticulous concerning intake snacks within the dirt, you'll place a snuffle mat down 1st, then hide the treats within the mat.

What’s a snuffle mat? It’s a mat fabricated from soft fleece with a rubber backing. The fleece provides an excellent concealment spot for treats therefore your dog must use their nose and brain to smell out all the treats.

If you've got numerous obstacles like trees, bushes, or furnishings in your yard, build use of them whereas taking part in hiding and look for along with your dog.

Have somebody distract them whereas you hide behind one thing. Then they get told to travel realize you, and that they will wander the yard trying to find you!

This is an associate particularly fun choice of puppy dog games, as a result of everything is therefore new and exciting to them.

Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles!

! The means they float through the air are engaging for several dogs to undertake and pop them.

And WHO doesn’t like processing bubbles?! simply check that you get a non-toxic bubble resolution to stay your dog safe.

You could conjointly get this bubble-blowing machine that blows BACON-SCENTED bubbles! this can be occurring Rico’s list needless to say as a result of bacon is his love language and absolute favorite high-value treat.

What’s your family’s favorite curtilage activity? Pin this for later and share it below!