#i love clone wars anakin so fucking much

[fist-of-vengeance]

idk if this is normal but i will go extended periods of time without really thinking about star wars or engaging with the fandom. and then i will randomly think about anakin skywalker and get immensely sad

[sad-trash-hobo]

You know what. I get why Anakin went to the darkside. You're gonna show me the Phantom Menace and hear Qui Gon tell Anakins mother that he isn't there to free the slaves, just pick up her son on a whim. And then to have him go and return Jabbas son, JABBAS SON, back to him? After he was owned by Gardulla? And no one says that that was inappropriate to have him do. And then in the Zygeria arc for Anakin to be upset about slavers, as he should, and Obi Wan tell Ahsoka that Anakin and his mother were sold into slavery so it's a touchy subject for him. He wasn't even sold into slavery. He was born into it! And this was Obi Wan, Anakins supposed brother? Shocking that Anakin would feel so betrayed and undervalued that he would go to the dark side. Anakin shouldn't have ever been a jedi. He should've been in therapy on Naboo with his wife. I love you Obi Wan, but you really did fail and I also hate you, in this essay I will-

[jewishcissiekj]

Jedi Masters as parents

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of The Clones | Shatterpoint | The Clone Wars Season 1 Episode 13 - Jedi Crash | The High Republic: A Test of Courage

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Clone Wars headcanons that have been rotting in my google docs

I like to believe that Padme teaches Ahsoka how to make friendship bracelets and she treats it as something sacred and spends an unholy amount of time making some for the people she cares about 

Master Plo gets the first one, Obi-Wan gets the second, Rex Cody and a couple of their boys get some more, Padme of course gets one, and Anakin gets one last 

The reason he was the last to get one is something Ahsoka will never admit out loud but she honestly wanted to take her time with his

And because of that Anakin permanently has a work of art on his wrist like everyone’s is gorgeous but his is something else entirely  

He thanks her truly and honestly thanks her and promises to keep it forever 

When Ahsoka jokingly calls him for breaking the orders rules he comments back “When have we ever listened to those rules” 

He keeps his promise too that bracelet never leaves his person 

He’s lost clothes lightsabers and even a couple of prosthetics but he always makes sure to go back for that bracelet

He eventually repays the gift in kind with a bracelet of his own 

It’s not the best made or pretties thing but Ahsoka can feel the love that was put into it so she makes the same promise he did years ago and keeps it too 

When the twins are born Ahsoka makes them both friendship bracelets 

At first they are small enough for their tiny wrists but she adds onto them as they grow older 

Ahsoka tears up when she finds that they all kept the bracelets she never thought they’d toss them or anything but seeing them decades later does hit her hard because they’re all in perfect condition 

Padme loves to “kidnap” Ahsoka whenever they have the time 

She’ll just request her protection on a diplomatic mission 

Sometimes it is an actual mission but Padme will still make time to take them to her favorite restaurants or cafes so they can have a little bit of downtime

When the war ends the tradition continues even tho everyone knows Ahsoka’s not really there as a security escort 

I find the visual of Anakin and Padme telling Ahsoka, Obi-wan, and Rex they’re married fucking hilarious 

Both Obi-Wan and Rex would try to act like they’ve been fooled truly they do but it all kinda breaks when Ahsoka asks “Wait we weren’t supposed to know?” 

Anakin is just as confused when he asks “What do you mean Soka? How could you have known?” 

And that’s when Ahsoka just starts laughing hysterically and it doesn’t take long for Obi-Wan and Rex to join in when he asks again all Ahsoka says is “Really? Kriffing look at you two” and doesn’t add much else 

Both Luke and Leia try to replicate Ahsoka’s face markings with various levels of success 

They often ask their mom for help and she’s always happy to do so Ahsoka gets filled with unimaginable amounts of joy when she sees her niece and nephew trying to look just like her 

Anakin often jokes that of course he’s not the favorite even in his own home like she’s not the first name that comes up whenever babysitting is on the table 

It’s also not a surprise that both Ahsoka and Obi-Wan become the twin's space equivalent of godparents 

It seems like a necessary precaution all things considered 

Neither of them takes the role lightly but they also vow that it won’t be needed and they do everything in their power to make it so 

After most missions it is very rare for Anakin to let Ahsoka and Obi-Wan out of his sight 

Ahsoka never fights him on this and is perfectly happy to stay by his side and sleep in the living room like they often do 

Sometimes Obi-Wan is called away for a meeting with the council and can’t stay with the two but that doesn’t stop him from joining them later on in the night even if they’re asleep 

Anything beats sleeping in his cold desolate room after some of the more dangerous missions 

Sometimes they’ll go a step further and call Padme just to check in with her and have her on the line as they watch some stupid rom-com

After some of the rougher missions it wasn’t uncommon for Ahsoka to pass out due to the physical and mental strain 

It also wasn’t uncommon for Anakin to give her a piggyback ride back to the ship 

He finds that people shoot him less looks when he’s carrying his padawan instead of holding her in a death grip and not letting go until it’s time to leave 

A lot of people thought they’d grow out of this habit but no it’s a trend that stays throughout their lives 

It just so happens that Ahsoka grows tall enough to return the ongoing favor  

It also didn’t stop at the battlefield either 

Sometimes Anakin would find her passed out in the archives or he would get a message that she was asleep in a friend's room 

And he’d always go to get her because what’s he gonna do leave her there? 

Sometimes when Ahsokas babysitting the kids Anakin will find her in a position that Obi-Wan often told him about 

Sitting in front of the TV with the twins curled up at her side 

And while Padme deems it her job to carry the twins off to their room Anakin takes his long-time role of carrying Ahsoka to hers 

(Because if you think she wouldn’t have a room in their house you’re crazy) 

Anakin always knew Ahsoka would grow up that’s just a part of life and how the universe works 

But nothing can describe the feeling of her growing taller than him 

Envy isn’t what he feels no matter how much people suggest he does sadness isn’t either it’s something deeper than that 

Bittersweet is the closest word he could find because after all there’s nothing quite like watching your younger sibling grow up

[padawansuggest]

Sometimes I remember that Lukas’s own headcanon is that Vader’s power was finally unsuppressed and became a full fledged 40k (meaning that 28k was supposed to be a suppressed number somehow no idk how I just know it’s his own thoughts on it and I accept that because that’s a boss idea okay, it lives in my brain) and therefore when Obi-Wan beat the shit outta Vader by throwing rocks at him he literally beat up one of the most powerful beings to ever exist and I’m like 👁️👄👁️

[fieldclover-leaf]

nobody follows me here so i can freely scream into tbe void :33

i'm constantly plagued by that scene from RoTS with ani and padme on the balcony on coruscant.... they're so genuine and so silly and padme is So Excited to start spending the rest of their lives together,,, and it all goes downhill so fast ,,, truly doomed by the narrative . anakin does everything he can to potentially prevent padme's death but it ultimately plays out exactly how his visions showed,, and the dichotomy of padme dying in white and brining new life to the world, while anakin is ultimately experiencing a rebirth into someone who will bring mass destruction,,,, and how the paths eventually converge down the line and return balance to the force i am so fucking emotional over them all the time. bwah

[aurora-starwars]

CAN I JUST SAY THAT I THINK THAT WAS THE BEST EPISODE OF ANYTHING OF ALL TIME!!!!!

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

Anakin saying Obi Wan in the year 2023

I AM INHALING A DREAM

[matches-only-burn]

love the episode of that tv show geared towards children where an actual fifteen year old gets shot through the chest and dies on screen

[ladytemeraire]

So OBVIOUSLY I love this AU for everything it is; Luke and Leia grow up with two dozen overprotective uncles, this is how it would have gone down in a softer, kinder universe and you cannot convince me otherwise, BUT ALSO:

Rex canonically survived and made it to Endor.

A remnant of the 501st survived to the same era as Anakin's children.

So please please please imagine him getting to actually interact with the twins.

Please imagine him hearing the name Skywalker and having to sit down and put his head in his hands and just breathe, because something of his General survived the war and the purges and the Empire and is here, now, living and breathing and thriving and standing in the Light despite everything.

(Luke is an ace pilot with a lightsaber on his hip, and Leia is a diplomat who commands the respect of an army, and Rex hears their name and connects the dots and the only thought ringing through his mind is your parents would be so proud.)

Please imagine them calling him Uncle Rex.

(Luke, I think, would do this basically immediately, because he grew up with an Aunt and an Uncle and Old Ben instead of a mother and father, and he loves and loves and loves and wouldn't hesitate to say Uncle Rex without a second thought because clearly this important person is his family. Leia, I think, would take quite a bit of time to adopt the term, if she ever actually does; but even if she never calls him Uncle, she would love him nonetheless.)

Imagine the three of them talking, after everything, after it all ends.

Imagine Luke, seeing the Force ghosts on Endor, knowing everything he does, having experienced everything he has, and sitting down with Rex around an Ewok bonfire and quietly saying, "Tell me about my father."

Imagine Leia getting to learn about Anakin as a person, not just a symbol of pain and terror and loss, and also getting to learn about Padme and the love she shared with her biological father, how that love was both his salvation and his downfall.

(Bail and Breha will always be her father and mother, she will always be and call herself Organa, and yet – she loves her brother, has loved him before she knew he was her brother, and this is a gift unasked for, this is family unlooked for, and being able to know the woman behind her fragments of memory is a chance she never could have expected.)

Imagine them learning about the brothers Rex had (the uncles they had) that they never got to meet, and Rex sharing a lifetime of memories with them.

"Let me tell you about Uncle Kix saving everyone in the 501st from some stupid stunt they pulled by the skin of his teeth, because he was the best damn medic we ever had and I would swear to you even without being a Jedi he could perform miracles."

"Let me tell you about the time Uncle Jesse accidentally set himself on fire and swore in front of Command and the Council in five different languages, and then three hours later took out half a droid battalion single-handedly."

"Let me tell you about Uncle Echo, how clever and brave and determined he was despite everyone looking down on him and his squad."

"Let me tell you about how hard Uncle Fives tried to tell everyone the truth, even at the cost of his own life, because his dedication and loyalty and love was stronger than any other force in the galaxy."

And they are gone now, they are stardust and one with the Force and nothing but memory, but they mattered, they were people, not just numbers, and they laughed and cried and bled and fought alongside Anakin and Padme and their brothers –

And the twins can honor their memory and carry their stories forward.

And that, more than anything, brings all of them peace.

@crossover15 kofi requested Anakin introducing the twins to the 501st!!

(kofi requests are open!)

[forcemeanakin]

Make you feel better.

•WARNINGS: SMUT.  Vaginal sex (female top), unprotected sex, blowjob, handjob, degradation kink, spanking, dirty talk. Explicit mentions of injuries.

Pairing: TCW!Anakin Skywalker x female reader.

Summary: You are a nurse in the 501st squad and General Skywalker needs some assistance. Only you could help him feel better.

Word count: 4.8K. This started as a blurb, but I’m incapable of shutting up. I haven’t stood up from my chair since 10am, so enjoy.

A/N: I’m so so so so in love with this man, it’s sickening. Scenario inspired by Ahsoka ep.5!. NOT PROOFREAD!!, english is my second language, so please be gentle. If there are any mistakes, pls let me know in private so I can correct them, thanks :) Also I have a serious issue between differentiating “in” and “on” situations, so bare with me lmao

Also first one shot since like forever????

____________________________________________

As a war nurse, you are used to treating the nastiest of wounds, the bloodiest of cuts, the vilest of injuries. 

You have chosen your profession out of love and vocation. As cliche as it might be, the true desire of your heart was to help people feel better: The plan was to specialize as a pediatric nurse, even becoming a doctor one day. Working at a hospital, maybe have a private practice with that medic husband of yours you often dreamed about. 

All of that was erased the moment war erupted. 

Fresh out of nursing school, every single one of your classmates, including yourself, were drafted to report to duty as nurses on the frontlines. The assignment of troops was random, but as if fate had decided, you were put at the service of the 501st. Little did you know, the job was harder than you had ever imagined it would be; and the constant bombing and deceased people you had to observe had nothing to do with it.

It was the general of the squad that made your job more complicated than it had to be.

General Skywalker. 

Well, it wasn’t exactly him, but the persistent crush you had on him. 

Needless to say, it was extremely unprofessional to be daydreaming of the person who was technically your boss. Even more unethical to be full-on fantasizing about his dick size when you were supposed to be suturing injured clones. But dammit, was it hard. So hard to be so close to his pulling presence and yet so far from achieving anything real with the man. Not that you had tried. Public rejection would be even more embarrassing than crushing on him. 

Anakin Skywalker hardly recognized your existence. Between his duty as leader on the field, his responsibilities as Jedi off-hours and the reduced sleep time he could squeeze in between battles, he didn’t have time to remember the name of one of the nurses of his legion. Especially when he never went to the tents himself; the god of a man was indestructible. 

Fuck, was he hot.

Just watching him scream: “Forward!” every day, as he ran directly to conflict with bravery was enough to have you dripping. His whole General image was your own personal definition of lust; his armor, the tone in which he would deliver orders, the frown he would wear until he had defeated each and every single one of his enemies. The smile he would flash whenever they won over a battle. Luckily, it was often.

But you had this idea that, out all of the medical staff, you were his least favorite. Maybe it had something to do with how social you were: always distracting his soldiers with jokes as you cleaned their cuts so they wouldn’t think of the sting. Or maybe it had something to do with how emotional you could get during your shifts: always fighting with your colleagues so they would treat the troopers as people, not numbers. Even if he had created a culture of trust among his peers, you weren’t sure if he appreciated that you caused so much trouble within the medical wing. 

You had endured a year of stolen glances, salivating at the sight of him from afar and lonely nights with just your hand. Cheeks would blush so fast whenever he would catch you checking him out, and maybe you were drunk on the smell of medical alcohol, but you swore that you caught him checking you out too once.

But that was long forgotten the next day, when he came back to being his same old cold persona. You forgave that aspect of him: the atrocities he had committed in the name of the Republic weighed heavy on his shoulders, slouching his proud figure whenever he had to face the reality of his situation. 

The same you had to face everyday.

“Who’s available?!” Yelling was the official way of communicating over here. You were finishing up a bandage on a trooper that had lost his left leg, meaning that you had to answer the call of duty.

The Ryloth takeover was more hectic than the squad had ever anticipated. Soldiers falling left and right, some didn’t even make it to the medical bay, just straight to the pseudo-morgue that was built to then give them a final resting place. 

“I’m almost ready to take the next one!” You screamed over the noise from the ships flying over.

“Ms. Dana.” Someone called you by your last name from outside the medical tent. “General Skywalker’s tent in 5.”

That made you drop the jar of gauze.

No one has ever been there, you thought. 

Outside of his skippy padawan and uptight master, Anakin’s tent had always been off limits to the public. His sacred place to unwind in peace. The ways he must unwind after a long day of battle…

“Ms. Dana!” That woke you up from a very explicit image of Anakin jerking off the stress away. 

“C-coming!” You choked. Grabbing your personal kit, you ran to the destination that had your clit throbbing with anticipation. 

You would see the sheets he slept on, the place where he storaged all of his robes, the shower that saw him naked every day. Jealousy of an inanimate object took over you as quickly as it left, making you feel stupid for getting angry at a room.

You almost didn’t notice that the battle was over, the only remnants of it were the people being moved in gurneys, the clouds of dust and the beaten up ships. Your outfit was probably not the best to endure the hardness of the Ryloth landscape: a tight, white buttoned up dress with a stupid little hat on top of your head. You hated the son of a bitch, it was ridiculous as fuck, but necessary for recognition among all of the personnel working in camps.

Anakin will think it’s stupid too. 

He will think you are stupid. 

The self-degradation stopped once you reached the entrance of his tent. Gulping exaggeratedly, you were unsure if to knock, announce yourself or wait until he was annoyed enough to come out and see you standing there like an idiot. 

“Come in.” It was his voice who cruelly cut the silence, growling. 

With shaking legs, the green fabric that formed his personal chamber was removed from your eyesight and you were hit by the delicious smell of him. So manly, so musty. It smelled like his cologne all over and you wished you bottle that up to spray it on your own sheets. 

It was less rewarding to see him sitting on the edge of his bed with an exasperated stare, analyzing your figure with obnoxiousness. You even cut short your eye-fucking tour of his body when you met his tired eyes.  Have you taken too long to get here?

“So they sent you.” He sighed, deviating his gaze. The evident disgust at your presence made you slouch timidly. You were a good nurse. The best one in the camp, if you dare to say. “I told Rex I’m fine. I don’t need assistance, it’s just a bruise.” His tone was harder than his words, surprisingly. 

“Well, now that I’m here, might as well take a look at that, huh?” Fighting through the devastating embarrassment, you proceeded to walk over his bed to place your kit. Biting your lip, you feared to ask the next question. “Shall we get started?”

He was one step away from rolling his eyes. “Fine. Just do it quickly.”

“Got it, sir.” Weird. There was no chilly breeze, however, Anakin had just flinched. “Care to show me where the bruise is?” 

He hesitated for a bit, closing his eyes with frustration. You were about to ask again when he exhaled with annoyance. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I would like to confirm that. Please, sir, the faster we do this, the faster I’m on my merry way.” You hated that he was desperate to kick you out, but apparently your compelling argument helped to accelerate the process. 

After seeing that he still felt fuzzy about checking the bruise, you decided to start somewhere else. “Let me get started with this cut over here. Looks pretty nasty.” 

You doubted if to take a seat, scared that it would be too close to him, but you needed the space to maneuver. Giving up to your internal fight, you sat down next to him and began by cleaning up the wound that escaped the fabric of his burgundy robe. 

“That’s nothing.” He mumbled under his breath, still not looking at you. 

Ignoring his attempt to diminish your work, you decided to also ignore your basic instinct to start a conversation to ease up the process. The internal alarms of survival were yelling at you not too. However, there was a moment where the alarms shut down, basically because every part of your brain shut down simultaneously and it was when you had to grip his bicep to make it stand still. Your fingers dug into the hard muscle, feeling how every little bit flexed under your fingertips, proving first-hand just how strong he was. 

“Done. Now I’m gonna clean the ones in your face.” You poured some alcohol into another cotton ball and turned to face him. 

Being face to face with Anakin Skywalker had been the most intimidating experience of your life and that hot as hell scar and mean frown didn’t make it easier. In fact, it had you clenching around nothing. You cleared your throat before slowly reaching out for his chin, pulling him to give you a better look of his dirty and exhausted aspect. 

He gasped the second the puffy ball made contact with a cut on his left cheekbone. You took that opportunity to bring him some comfort, despite your irregular breathing and overall tenseness. Rubbing your thumb along his jaw, you saw his pain decreased until the sting was gone. You moved to another cut on his forehead, repeating the process until you had treated most of them gone. When you swapped your current cotton ball with a new one so caught him looking down on your body. 

It’s this stupid uniform.

He sensed your eyes on him and quickly deviated them to focus on your irises. You gulped before continuing your beeline around his face, this time close to the scar you often fantasize about in bed.

“That one 's old. No need to worry about it.” He joked.

He joked.

Unable to form a coherent comeback, you limited yourself to give him a nasal laugh, demonstarting that you got it. 

“Thought you wouldn't be this silent. You’re more chatty with the clones.” He said, slightly tilting his head.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to talk.” You replied, this time with a little smile as a peace offering.

“What did you think I wanted?” He frowned, interrupting your cleaning.

“I thought you wanted me out as quickly as possible.” You stopped momentarily to accommodate his face once more into a position you could work with.

He let out a dry laugh. “It’s nothing personal. I just want to come back to work.” 

“You just came back from battle and want to keep working? Do you ever stop?” You joked back, feeling how the atmosphere inside the tent had changed. Feeling more comfortable, you switched your body a little, now your chests were aligned, just inches apart. 

“Hardly.” He clicked his tongue, gaze slightly dropping to give a quick sweep of your lips. 

“Well, you should rest. Relax. That’s an important part of recovery.” You advised him, finishing up the last cut. You took a cloth of your kit and used it to clean some of the dry blood and dirt off him. 

“Can’t stay still.” He shook his head.

“There are other ways to relax.” You shrugged your shoulders, taking that little pause to admire his beautiful demeanor. Those blue eyes could spell you into saying yes to basically anything. 

“Like?” He pushed, licking his lips as his intense gaze focused on making you feel smaller and smaller.

“Like…” You dirty minded bitch, think about something other than sex! 

Almost like he could hear your inner dialogue, he chuckled. 

“Like taking a walk or reading a book.” You finally came up with a pg-13 alternative to relaxing. 

“Could be.” He snickered. After his beautiful giggle dialed down, you felt the tension switching. Thicker. More intense. “More of a physical guy myself.”

Feeling the pull to his plump lips, you rushed to get out of the trouble zone. “Ready for me to see this world-famous bruise?” 

Your brain short circuited when he snapped his shoulder armor in one swift move and threw it on the floor. The next thing had you mentally panting and physically in shock: Anakin was removing his robes to expose his naked and bruised torso. The skin of his middle part would dip perfectly into breathtaking abs, not to mention the flexing of his arms became more evident to you without the stupid robe in your way. 

The reddened-purplish spot expanded all the way from the right side of his lower abdomen, all the way down the waistband of his pants. The silent gawking didn’t go unnoticed by him, a little smirk coming to greet your widened eyes. That woke you up enough to get moving.

“H-how-“ You took a moment to regain some composure. “How did this happen?”

“A droideka fell on me.” He muttered shortly, almost as if the portion of information brought shame to him.

“Alright, I’m gonna need to palpate the area to know if there’s any further damage.” You announced with more nerves than a medical professional should speak to their patients.

Because he was now standing up, sitting down didn’t give you the best height to disinfect some of the minor cuts that tainted his perfect tanned skin. 

“Sir, I’m going to need you to lay down for me, please.” Formalities came back as soon as you felt threatened by his overpowering presence again. 

“No.” He spat, furrowing his eyebrows. “I’d prefer to stand, if it’s possible. Please.”

“Sure.” After all, it was your job to make the process easier for him. On the other hand, that meant having to kneel in front of him. That caught him off guard and almost backed down when you reached out to feel the tampered skin. “Please tell me where it hurts.”

Your little fingers began to poke around the wounded area, massaging the zones where you knew a more serious injury could present itself. It didn’t go under your radar the way he would have goosebumps whenever you looked up to him or groped him more firmly. Repeating over and over: “How does it feel here?” you made your way all over the part of the bruise that was visible to the eye. 

“Good. It seems like no internal organs have been compromised.” You announced with a little smile. Now the part you dreaded -and kind of expected- was next. “Uhm, I’m going to need to check the rest of the bruise to make sure you didn’t break your hip, sir.”

“Anakin.” He spat.

“Pardon?” You blinked rapidly.

“Call me Anakin. It makes this… easier.” He cleared his throat.

“Okay, Anakin.” You nodded. How you said the next thing so calmly was still a mystery to you. “So, I know this part may be uncomfortable, but I’ll need to remove your pants out of the way. Probably your underwear as well, if I need to take a better look. Don’t worry, I’ve seen enough male anatomy for this to be routinary for me-”

In the middle of your speech, as you dropped your gaze to prepare yourself for dipping your fingers under his pants, something snapped your attention. 

The gigantic bulge right in front of your eye line.

How you had missed such a tent while you palpated his abdomen was another mystery to you. 

“Uhm- I-” You choked, unwilling to look up. “I-”

Anakin made no effort to try and hide his wood. But what was the point? It was already there. You had already noticed it. 

Mumbling, you decided to continue being professional. It was a normal response after all. “I’ll go ahead and lower your pants, sir- Anakin, sorry.” You corrected yourself, but it was too late.

You had already seen the reason why he made you call him Anakin: his dick twitched the second you said “sir”. Now that was interesting. 

Your hand pulled down the brown pants, lowering his black underwear at the same time, only revealing his right hip, leaving the bulge quietly covered. Anakin’s chest rose uncontrollably, flinching every now and then when your hand would get too close to his boner, or when your warm breath would fan his exposed hip. When you finally dared to meet his gaze, to let him know you were almost through with the exam, you were pleased with the view above you. 

Rose pink cheeks, bottom lip trapped in between his teeth, darkened gaze fixed on your cleavage. It was the equivalent of liquid courage in human form. 

“Does this hurt?” You felt up another portion, this time closer to his groin. When he murmured a weak “no”, you inched even closer. “And here?” Same response. 

When you got to a point where your pinky grazed the bulge and he gasped, you knew this was the point of no return. 

“And does this hurt?” You asked, slowly palming the thick shaft that was threatening to rupture his pants at any given second. 

Swallowing harshly, Anakin refused to speak up a word. Instead, he let you carry on with your devilious plan. 

“And this? Does it hurt, sir?” You wrapped your hand around the still clothed member, rubbing faster and harder. 

He limited himself to closing his eyes, moaning on the low as your hand gripped his swell cock with more pressure and more confidence. Your ego was so high up in the sky that you had the impulse to rub your lips against the fabric already stained with pre-cum. 

“Sir, can I finish up the exam?” Your wide doe eyes were quite the contrary of your filthy intentions. 

Once he nodded with hooded eyes, you fished his veiny cock from out of the confinements of his underwear and tugged it out for you to admire all of its glory. It sprung free, the tip pointing directly at you, like it knew. Involuntarily, your mouth opened in admiration to such a big and thick frame. Anakin’s sly smirk made another surprise appearance at your gawking.

You were acquainted with male genitalia. But not like this. Never like this. 

So huge. So intimidating. So mouth-watering. 

“It’s almost like you have never seen one. Not as huge as this one, right?” You shook your head, biting your lip as you took in the whole image. You needed a minute to wrap around the idea that he was carrying this weapon everywhere he went.

Your hands -yes, plural, because you needed both to handle such beast- pumped fast to grant him the deliberation he so desperately craved. Yanking his thick shaft in between your palms had you pooling all over your white panties, like a goddamn slut. His hips were thrusting at the rhythm you had set, fucking your fist like he pleased. Feeling how he tensed his abdomen, the climax was closed.

Taking a last leap of fate, you stopped the jerking off momentarily and clutched the fabric of his pants down with both hands, revealing his whole lower part to your delight. His thighs, oh, his muscular thighs always did unholy things to you and to have them right there for you to grip was making you rub your own thighs together. Foreseeing what was to come, you let your hair down, losing the stupid hat.  

Digging your nails on the hardness of his leg, you licked the tip of his shaft, testing the water. The little drop of pre-cum you managed to catch was salty and warm, so deliciously milky. Moaning, you opened your mouth to lazily envelop his tip, rubbing it without interest, just softly teasing him.

“Look at you. Who would say that you would be so unprofessional, sucking your commanding general’s cock? Huh?” Anakin mocked you from his proud stand. “Miss little giggling nurse turned out to be a filthy cockslut. Salivating at the sight of my dick.”

You moaned, still pampering the reddened head of his cock.

“I could.” He chuckled, his thumb coming to caress your jaw just like you did to him earlier. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you stare when I walk by the medical tent? How you practically undress me with your eyes? Such a desperate slut. Begging to be fuck just right. Acting like you're not thinking about hopping on this dick while working.”

After giving a last open mouthed kiss on the sensitive tip, you opened your mouth and presented your pink tongue to him, for which he rewarded you with a smiling expression. 

“You offer yourself to make me feel better?” He cocked an arrogant brow.

Nodding, you let out a small, high pitched whimper to hurry him up. 

“Hope you know what you’re doing, baby.”

 And with that, he grabbed a handful of your locks with his gloved limb and the other one he used to tug your chin further down, making room for the rest of his cock. In the blink of an eye, he was fucking your throat raw, having no mercy for you or the tears that spilled from our eyes when he would especially far down. He emphasized repeatedly how he had to train you to take all of him in, that you were not properly ready to take someone as big as him. He even said it with pity, making fun that you hadn’t been fucking with real men. 

But he was here now. And he was going to take care of you. 

Even if you lack the ability to relax your throat enough for you to take the whole 9 inch monstrosity that was violating your breathing canal, he was appreciative of the way you gagged around him and the noises you made whenever the tip would hit a wall. He even praised the movements of your tongue on his underside, rewarding you with a little slap on your cheek. Anakin laughed when he heard your horny moan at the harsh action. 

Suddenly, Anakin stopped bobbing your head up and down his length, causing the mess of saliva that was covering both you and him to dissolve into a mesly string connecting you two.

“Let me see how well your other hole makes me feel, baby. Up.” As your legs made an effort to stand without shaking, Anakin returned to his previous seating position, this time manspreading to let his cock breathe in all of its glory. Patting his lap, he called you in like a dog. “Here.”

Dying of shame at the wetness that dripped from your inner thighs, you spread yourself until both your knees were at each side of his hips. Anakin glanced at the leaking juices and fucking grinned the brightest smile. 

“So wet just for sucking dick.” His index and middle finger retrieved some of the spill, playing with your sensitive nub on their way. He tasted the juices himself, licking his fingers clean. He hummed in approval, ripping your panties apart to have more access and drink up more of your arousal. “Pretty little pussy. Do you think it’ll fit?” He asked you with a narcissistic loop side smile, as he sucked some more off his fingers. 

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly, shaking at the ministrations of his hands around your ass.

“It will.” He reassured you, pulling your skirt up and entangling it just above your hips. “You’ll make it fit.” He put his hands behind his back, on the bed, yielding control to you. “Now show me how bad you’ve been wanting this. Ride my dick.”

Using his strong shoulders for leverage, soon your slick pussy was sucking up his length. The first contact had you digging your nails on his shoulders, fighting through the pain of the stretch, this position only enlarging the already swollenness of his member. Gasping with an open mouth, you fought to push yourself even further down. Skin to skin, you were feeling all of him in: every curve, every wrinkle, every twitch. Even after remembering the condom, you opted for not mentioning it. There was no way you could say goodbye to feeling him bare.

Anakin pulled you in by the neck, drinking in the scream you let out when you bottomed out. His lips tasted better than anything you had ever tried, so sweet by nature and salty because of the sweat. You just wanted more and more; anything he was willing to give you.

“Faster.” Anakin demanded; clasping to your hips to bounce you harder on him, to remind you that this was about him, not you. 

Obeying like the sub you were, you humped him faster, adjusting yourself to surround his shoulders with your arms so you could pull his hair. You knew he liked it by the way he purred on your ear, embracing your waist tighter to manhandle you better. The hug you were both entrapped in ended with his big hands holding both your ass cheeks, groping them in such a disrespectful manner: splitting them open, squeezing them until it hurt, slapping without any sort of consideration. 

“Mhm, just like that, baby.” He praised blissed out, his hand cruelly smacking your already red and abused rear. “You do know how to ride dick. So good, taking me so well with this slutty pussy of yours.” 

Chasing your own pleasure, you gripped him harder and grinded on his wood, rubbing your clit with his pubic bone. You whimpered when you felt the delicious shock on your clit, which only incentivized you to rock your hips even faster. You were close, so close to coming undone, clenching him like a vice. 

“C’mon, you offer yourself to me, to use you as I seem fit.” Anakin pushed you back so you could see him clearly. “I want you to bounce, baby. Bounce those tight tits for me.” 

Anakin removed three buttons of your dress, enough for him to get drunk on the sight of your boobs pressed together and bouncing, but not all the way exposed. Like instructed, you bounced on his dick like it was your job to do so, enamored by the view of him hypnotized by your jumping breasts. Your nipples would shyly come to greet out of your white top, albeit Anakin wouldn’t have the full show because of the fabric that still caged them. 

Tired of the partial view, Anakin’s hands left your ass and traveled to their next destination: your full tits. Without removing another button, he took in the weight of your boobs inside of his palms and played with your meaty buds like he had never seen a pair before. The rough movements of his hands around the fat caused your dress to open a bit more, basically leaving you naked for him. 

“They’re more gorgeous than I ever anticipated.” He muttered, before enveloping a peak inside his mouth and lapping at it repeatedly. “Seeing you with this lame excuse of a uniform it’s harder than going to war, baby. Craving a taste of you and not being able to do anything about it, it’s torture. Pure torture.” He moaned in a ragged voice, sucking in the same nipple with closed eyes, savoring it. 

“You- you wanted me?” You cried, sliding in more frantically.

You were so close and he had it in his hands to make you come in that same instant. 

“Baby, I’ve been dreaming about filling this pussy to the brim the second you were drafted.” He exhaled with a smile. “I hate seeing you with the clones: gifting them smiles that should belong to me, parading this cleavage around when it should be for my eyes only, showing off this ass when only I should know the feeling of it inside my palms.”

“Anakin! I’m coming! I’m coming!” You announced, simultaneously feeling how his dick twitched inside of you. 

“Let me feel it, baby. Come all over my cock. Indulge me.” This time it was you who took the initiative to kiss him, thinking this would be your last chance to savour him before this was all over. 

You convulsed around his dick, just like he asked, tumbling over his shoulder to regain your breath. Anakin followed short after you, shuddering as he spilled over, biting your shoulder to muffle his groan. 

After the aftershocks dissipated and you regained consciousness, the shame of what had transpired hit you like a train. Fixing your dress to cover more of you, you wondered how long you should wait before saying something. Luckily, Anakin broke the ice first.

“Next time you should keep the hat. I like it.” He chuckled, making you giggle as well. 

Needless to say, you were now expected to be in his tent every night after he came back from battle, split open for him, ready to take in all of the frustration of the day and make him feel better.

[0h0possum]

Codywan Headcanon/AU that lives rent free in my head

I think my favorite codywan headcanon/AU is that they are just so good at being professional and discreet when they need to, for literal years, that no one knows they are a thing.

Like my favorite idea of codywan is that they both agree their duties and obligations come first. Honestly they kinda deal with it like a business contract. They sit down and agree: yes they have feelings for each other, yes they want to be together, yes they want as much as a relationship as they can get now since they both never know when one of them might die, yes they need to put their war duties first, yes Obi-wan will always put his Jedi duties first, yes Cody will always put protecting and creating a future for his brothers first, yes the will keep this relationship under raps as it could be under scrutiny for breaking GAR and Jedi rules, yes they will only act as a couple when off duty.

They are just the opposite of Anakin and Padme, no one knows about them. Cody and Obi-wan aren’t trying to hide it per say, they just are so good at being The Commander and The General that no one would ever think they were anything but professional coworkers and maybe friends. Even if there are signs they may be more, their friends and family overlook them because ‘Cody’s too strict about following the regs to be interested in a relationship’ or ‘Obi-wan is too focused on being a model Jedi and following the Code to be in a relationship’.

They are too good at balancing their lives and being ‘The Unproblematic Couple™’.

So when the war ends and they defeat Palpatine, save Anakin and get the clones rights (because we only Stan happy endings in this Codywan house), they both agree mutually to take a break.

Cody takes time to find himself away from the GAR and being The Commander. He spends time with his brothers and helping them all find their feet once they leave the GAR. He helps build a life for them all, while also taking time to find who he is besides a soldier.

Obi-wan spends time reconnecting with Anakin and Ahsoka, making amends with both of them. Getting to finally return to being a peacekeeper and not a General at war. I imagine he would maybe step down from the council to just be a simple Jedi. Not Master of Sorensu, youngest ever High council member, The Negotiator, General, or Sith Killer.

After their short break they agree to start meeting up again, seeing if they still feel the way they did about each other when not in the stressful environment of war and an army setting. But, lo and behold, they still of course love each other. (All the while everyone just assumes it’s Obi-wan and Cody meeting up as ex. Coworkers. They used to be the best of FRIENDS during the war)

After Obi-wan sees Anakin is fine (living with his wife and kids) and the rest of the Order isn’t in dire need of his help, and Cody sees his brothers are finding their feet in the world without need of his leadership, they both just decide they’ve been dating long enough (a few year during and after the war) and they’ve put other duties ahead of theirs relationship long enough.

They just fucking get married and buy a house. Obi-wan leaves the order and Cody moves away from his brother. And they just get married.

WHICH COMES OUT OF NOWHERE TO EVERYONE ELSE. Everyone’s like “??!!!”, “since when have you two ever been together?!”

And fucking Obi-wan and Cody (with biggest deadpan older brother energy) just say “oh yeah, since like the middle of the war? We thought you guys knew? It just never came up in conversation?”

Just absolutely bamboozling everyone in their lives. Rex and Anakin both are like “YoU nEvEr ThOuGhT tO tElL mE? YoUr BrOtHeR?”. Cue Obi-wan and Cody vaguely shrugging and saying ‘there were more important things going on’.

But yeah I just like the idea of Cody and Obi-wan jump scaring their families with their relationship.

[yoursrosie]

OMFG THERE’S MORE!!!!!

chaos trio! (they’re off to disobey orders)

also cheesy lil side note, thank y’all so much for enjoying the og post by the way. it makes me so happy to see that folks liked those silly lil birds

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

These Clone Wars headcanons take a turn at the end

I feel like the writers really dropped the ball on never showing us Anakin and Ahsoka attending a formal event because I feel like it would be hilarious 

Watching two hardened war heroes try and act like they haven’t seen all the horrors the universe has to offer is the equivalent of watching two possums stacked on top of each other trying to convince someone they’re human

I feel like they would both try to behave for Padme and Obi-Wan’s sake but at the same time they can't help but make fun of each other as they act “normal” while simultaneously hiding the fact that they’re talking shit about anyone and everyone in the room

These two dorks are just standing in a corner praying to anyone that will listen for these stuck-up silver spoon-suckling sleemos to leave them alone but unfortunately for them the rich never care to read the vibe so they’re stuck schmoozing

After being to a couple of formal events the two start to form escape plans to get out of being in boring conversations which include but are not limited to: Ahsoka acting like they’re playing her favorite song so they have to dance, them pretending as Obi-Wan called them over with the force but in actuality they just hide behind him while he acts like an adult, and last but certainly not least Ahsoka faking an allergic reaction 

That last one got them into some trouble cause in their haste they left Obi-Wan and Padme behind to deal with the confused and concerned public and they were less than pleased to find that Anakin abused his padawan’s allergies like this little did they know Ahsoka came up with that plan

I have a guttural feeling that Ahsoka’s been put in air jail sometimes by Rex but it’s mostly Anakin using the force to lift her off the ground because it’s the only thing that calms her down 

It surprised her to find out that he stole the idea from Obi-Wan it was more surprising to find out he wasn’t entirely patient with Anakin during the first couple of years of his apprenticeship but the thing that didn’t surprise her was the fact that Anakin was a feral little brat who bit hard when he was frustrated 

There was one time when the trio were sent on a mission and it wasn’t a pleasant one to say the least which naturally resulted in them being sleep deprived which usually leads to them being very snappy towards each other

One day Anakin and Ahsoka got into a less-than-friendly shoving match which was likely going to escalate into a full-blown fight before Obi-Wan lifted them both and the uncharacteristic abuse of the force caused the duo to laugh their asses off 

Obi-Wan doesn’t like thinking of that moment cause it feels like a petty step back in his growth but the duo silently thinks that moment was hilarious and still laugh about it years later 

Anakin doesn’t always use the force to reprimand Ahsoka sometimes they act like the stupid teenagers they are and use it for reckless fun and by that I mean one day Ahsoka got an idea and begged Anakin to use the force to toss her as high as he could

He denied her request for a while even with her assuring him that if anything went wrong she could just catch herself when that approach wasn’t working she poked at his pride making little comments that he probably couldn’t toss her higher than his head

So with an admittedly bruised ego and still slight hesitation he agreed and the second her feet were back on the ground she begged him to do it again funny enough it became a kind of game/training for the duo

It helped with Anakin’s stamina and Ahsoka’s reaction time cause unfortunately being the chosen one doesn’t make someone perfect and he did drop her a couple of times but it didn’t matter much cause she caught herself

As the duo got older they started taking turns launching each other like a weird force see-saw but one day the jig was up cause the twins caught them doing this weird little game and demanded a turn

They agreed but the twins never got past the duo’s waste which didn’t matter cause Padme scolded them anyway and the two promised to never do it again with the twins around 

Anakin and Ahsoka are both deeply sentimental people I know this in my soul which results in their shared quarters being cluttered with a whole bunch of stuff 

Anakin’s stuff makes more sense cause it’s basically gifts from Padme and Obi-Wan or random projects that never worked out but he could never justify throwing away

Ahsoka on the other hand is an absolute goblin and will hoard anything and everything that feels special like 3D glasses from the singular time she and Anakin could see a holo in theaters, or a random rock from Naboo, a ribbon from a dress Padme gave her that she outgrew, and a thank you note from the kids on Mandalor 

You know the things that most people would describe as useless or junk but she keeps them scattered all over their quarters nonetheless well she did before someone got wind that she was doing this and advised her against it cause it’s against the Jedi code

She agreed with them so she stuffed all of it in a box and right before she could toss it they were sent on a mission and when she got back she didn’t have the energy to get rid of it so she just shoved it to the back of her closet 

And then she started collecting trinkets again and stored them all in the box that she lovingly refers to as the “box o’ shit” in her mind until one day the box literally wouldn’t close with all the stuff stored inside

And out of the blue the guilt she first felt when she was reprimanded came flooding back tenfold and she made a vow to toss it out the next day but every time she tried it just ended with tears in her eyes

Until one day she came home from a truly terrible solo mission to find a chest in the middle of her room and when she asked Anakin about it all he said was “Oh it’s for your stuff I figured you’d need a new one by now”

She needed no clarification of what stuff he was talking about and she didn’t know how to ask him politely how he knew she ignored sage advice while she knew she should feel embarrassed for being so obvious or guilty all she felt was loved 

So she squeezed the ever-loving force out of the one person who just got her and smiled as he squeezed her back just as tight without commenting on the twin puddles on the front of his robes 

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Just Like You Wanted

18+ MDNI

Warnings: soft dom Ani, sweet love making ❤️ alittle condescending, cum/breeding kink, orgasm denial

Info: Clone Wars Ani, he loves you so much that he’s will to torture himself for you NOT PROOFREAD

Also hehe I love cartoon Ani

“Are you sure?” Anakin whispered into your ear, brushing a lock of hair out of his way.

Gasping quietly you clutched onto his bare shoulders as his plush lips suctioned to the thin skin behind your ear. You nodded eagerly, too spaced out to answer. He had been fingering you for over an hour now, alternating between one, two, three digits and refusing to let you cum.

“Say it f’me love.” His voice low and gravely, “you know I like to hear you.”

“Y-yes, yes Ani.” You whimpered, voice barely escaping your lips.

“There we go!” He smiled softly, cradling your head in his hands, gently removing his slick covered hand from between your legs.

After being full of his digits for so long you felt empty, your cunt almost lonely without them. You whined grinding yourself against his thigh when he tried to shift you onto his lap, earning a chuckle from him.

“Hold on babydoll, I’ll let you have it.” He cooed, his flesh hand coming up to run his fingers over your thigh.

Your mind was spinning, your brain fuzzy and your vision failing you. You could hardly hold yourself up, the need for release wound so tightly in your core that you were virtually incapacitated.

He helped guide you to straddle his thighs just above his weeping cock, waiting patiently despite its angry red head. The heat radiating from him made your mouth water, instinctively trying to sink down onto him.

He laughed, moving his flesh hand to the small of your back. His mechna-hand firmly gripping your hip.

“Shh, take your time baby.” He sighed, slowly lowering you down his cock, your hungry cunt swallowing him greedily.

You could’ve screamed, cried, and laughed all at once when you finally felt him settle deeply into you. His flesh hand caressing your back lovingly while his other rocked your hips back and forth for you. Your poor neglected clit swollen and brushing in delicious pain against his curly hairs.

“Feel better?” He mumbled into your shoulder, delicate kisses trailing along the flushed skin.

“Uh huh.” You whimpered, your arms thrown around his shoulders, keeping his head in the crook of your neck. “Much better.”

“You sound tired.” He teased.

“Your fault,” you gasped, grinding down onto him. “Making me wait.”

“Want some help?” He asked, nipping your earlobe.

“Mhm, please.” You whined.

“Alright.” He chuckled, “go ahead, play with your clit for me baby”

You complied, sliding your hand between your sweating bodies and putting much needed pressure on your puffy red clit. Both his hands gripped tightly to your hips, sliding you up and down his rock with ease, rocking you forward and back everytime he was sheathed to the hilt. Your moans flowed freely, low and breathy, Anakin catching them with his lips.

“See? So much better isn’t it.” He smiled against your open mouth, “feels good when you listen, not like last time huh?”

You wanted to roll your eyes, you wanted to protest but you were too caught up in chasing your orgasm, so you just let out a high pitched whine, unable to form words.

“I know sweet girl,” he placed sweet kisses to the corners of your lips, “let it out, be loud as you want. I know it feels good, can feel you fucking squeezing me.”

He panted, desperately trying to keep a steady pace when he so badly wanted to move you faster. Instead he dug his fingers into your hips, marking you with unique bruises just for his eyes. You could feel yourself gushing, hear the squelching of your cunt.

“So much easier to take daddy’s cock when you let me stretch you out first isn’t it?” He chuckled.

He removed one hand to tilt your head back, needing to see your face for his next move. The guttural moan that rattled his chest as you made an attempt to lock eyes with him filled you with white hot need, he loved the way you looked, messy, wet, needy, greedy, and most importantly full of his cock.

“Isn’t it baby?” He asked again, a bit sterner, grabbing a big handful of ass.

“Y-yea.” You stuttered, eyelids snapping shut.

“No, my pretty girl, keep those eyes open.” He tapped your other ass cheek playful.

“Good job,” he sighed, “now I’m gonna make you cum okay?”

“Please.” You whined, reedy and drawn out.

An invisible grip wrapped around your calves, pinning you into place on his cock, rapidly grinding your pussy down onto him. He gently removed your hand from your clit, kissing away your pout at the loss.

“Shh, s’alright. I’m gonna fix it.” He cooed, holding you to his chest and laying your head on his shoulder.

He held your limp body in place, fucking up into you and grinding you against him, groaning as he felt your juices soaking the sheets under him. The way your slick dripped from his balls was otherworldly, a sensation that could never be replicated.

A pinching pressure found it’s way to your clit, pulling, rolling and somehow managing to feel like a strange suctioning. The movement was all it took for you to shatter in his hands, you sobbed into his shoulder, biting down to release some pressure. Your brain felt constricted like your skull was shrinking, your body practically putty in his hands.

He kept bucking up into you, soothing you with soft hands and whispered words while he chased his own release.

“Just alittle more baby, m’sorry.” He whimpered, the coil threatening to snap any second.

“Gonna fill you up just like I promised.” He panted, crushing you in his strong arms as he groaned, hissing through his clenched teeth.

“Atta girl, just like that.” He whined, hot ropes of cum coating your slick walls. “There you go, there it is baby. Just like you wanted.”

His voice low and gravely while he made sure to keep rocking into you, savoring the feeling of your juices mixing with his own salty cum.

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @cherrylooney @star611 @tahliac11 @exquisit3corpse @jeldog @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @lilliethefairy @slut-4-ani @offthethirlwall @slutforhayden @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @no1klet @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes @shadowhuntyi @bobthe-turmpetman29 @mortalheartache

[fanfic-obsessed]

Derailed

This is another funny one.  I certainly giggled while writing it. 

When Palpatine goes to imply that Padme is cheating on Anakin, Anakin does not freak out. Instead he brightens and says something to the effect of ‘Oh! it must have been time to drug Obi Wan again’ and/or several other things that leave Palpatine with the impression that Anakin and Padme are having regular threesomes with Obi Wan…or are regularly drugging and having their way with Obi Wan.

Note 1:This is not what is happening. There really isn’t even any drugging going on. It turns out that the twins, still gestating, radiate such a strong aura of light and love that it allows war weary, exhausted Jedi to sleep and sleep well.  So Padme always has a few Jedi napping, and hidden if they are in public, wherever she is. Including her apartment.  There was some discussion of having her move into the temple, with Padme present as the Jedi are very into consent, but it was decided that it would endanger her and/or cause a scandal and likely expose her and Anakin’s marriage to the general public. 

Note :2 Anakin was legally considered underage in both cultures at the time of their wedding-Jedi considered adulthood as far as signing legal contracts is concerned at knighthood. Naboo is a bit different, there are some things in which Naboo is very formalized, including their record keeping. They also do not really have a mechanism for errors in those records. So when little Anakin Skywalker’s identification records were created he was asked his birthdate-the question itself was in formal legalese, thus not very clear. Not knowing his actual birthdate, and not quite understanding the question, he gave the date of the Boonta Eve Classic, where he won his freedom.  There was so much confusion that it was never checked before it was entered into the Naboo system, which then fed into the galactic system. Legally, as far as the galactic computer systems are concerned Padme married a 10 year old.  

Note 3: Padme has teamed up with various clone commanders to have their Jedi dragged to where they can get some sleep if it seems like they try running off Force for too long. The first of which was Cody, who is the founding member of the 'I love my my Jedi but What the Fuck' support group.

Anakin then asks a dumbfounded Palpatine if it was a specific date, to which Palpatine(who had been making the entire rumor out of whole cloth) just nodded. Anakin nodded to himself and said that he was surprised that they noticed Obi Wan but not all the other members of the Jedi Council. Or all the other Jedi that pass through Padme’s apartment. 

Anakin has now accidentally convinced Palpatine that there is some Jedi Orgy happening in the senatorial apartments (maybe? Possibly Including other members of the delegation of 2000????). Everything Anakin says after that point sounds like it supports this idea (In defense of Palpatine, it all sounded suspicious) but does have innocent explanations. Including at one point saying something to the effect of “The Twins (because the healers did come over and let them know they were having twins) belonged to all of the Jedi’” and, just before leaving (still cheerfully oblivious),  says that his nightmares have gone away since finding out that that Master Windu is a cuddler.

And Palpatine. Just. Bluescreens. Like full on we passed the woman with Math gif and onto the Blue Screen of Death at the idea that Mace Windu was a cuddler. 

He can’t even remember what he was trying to do at the start of the conversation. For several hours Palpatine can’t even remember what he was trying to do with the Sith Plan. 

He just has to sit with the knowledge that Master Mace Windu, head of the Jedi Council, is a cuddler.  Palpatine does not know what to do with this knowledge.  Palpatine is not sure he wants to know what to do with this knowledge. 

As a fix it, I would say that this possible Jedi/Senatorial Orgy continues to make Palpatine crazier and crazier, dragging him into paranoia until he is gently retired from office (because everyone believes that the war cracked him, wasn’t it so sad) and sent off to a quiet lake house on Naboo. I picture him as Mr.Crocker from Fairly Odd Parents, where he twitches into all kinds of weird configurations and screams JEDI CUDDLES at the top of his lungs and tries to ‘prove’ that these orgies between Jedi and senators exist, but fails because they do not.