#i love ben cook with all my heart but it annoys me how so many people hate on ryan breslin’s race for no reason

[axelakim]

Title: Regret

Pairing: Ben Chilwell X Reader

Content: angst, fluff

You and ben have been a couple for about 4 years now. Both of you really love and understand each other, moreover for the past 1 year, you two can not be separated from each other because you have moved to Ben's house and that what makes you two more and more in love.

The season chelsea have been through was not really good. The club end up in 12th place in pl rank and there are lots of rumour of his teammates gonna go to another clubs, that's the reason why Ben always get home angry and not in the mood for the past 1 month. Like today, the traning session went well but the match wasn't. Chelsea lost 2 points against Liverpool, you've watched the game at home because youre working and got into some of accident when you were buying coffe at the supermarket across the office till your left palm wounded but u said to Ben that u just feeling a bit sick so you can't make it to the pitch. So you just waiting for Benji to reach home in the livingroom.

Not long after that, you heard your boyfriend opened the door and having such a disappointed and tired look in his face.

"Hei benjii, are u okay love?" while hiding ur left hand

"Yea i'm fine" he didn't even give you kisses when you welcome him.

He directly went to the kitchen and open the fridge "Why the hell there is no food in here? You didn't cook?" he asked

"No im sorry, i didn't cook because im feeling unwell and i just wanted to got home directly on my way home"

"Oh yea right" hearing him just responding u like that is kinda hurt but u dont want to make him more stressed out, so you just ignore it

"Should i cook for you? or we just order some food? what do you want?"

"No need, ill order it later by myself" while putting his dirty clothes in the basket

"Eum how are you today? any stories?" you asked wanted to know more about his day

"You still asking me? you saw me lost right, fucking lost and here you are still asking me about how am i, dont play dumb Y/N you already know how terrible i am now, if you want some attention the answer is not now"

this is the first time he snapped at you, his whole face turning red

Your heart was aching but again u just hold it

"Can u chill out? I just want to know more about my boyfriend's day. Is that so wrong?" holding up your tears

"Yes its so fucking wrong, youve already saw me lost today and u still asking me about my day, and always asking me the same annoying questions when i get home" he answered

"Oh so im the one who is wrong here huh?" you replied

"Yeah because you always so chatty about many things, this and that and also annoying"

You continued, "well maybe your decision to asked me move out with you was wrong then huh?"

"Kinda regret it indeed" he said it cold and went upstairs to your shared room

You frozen for a second hearing what he said, u just went blanking and dont know what to do. Your heart is aching so much, the questions youve always asked him that you consider it as an act of caring but ur boyfriend seemed didn't really happy about it. You always have his back and support all of the things he does but seems it is not enough for him.

You decided to put your jacket on and take your car's key. You told your security at home to open the gate and said to him that you just wanted to go to the supermarket.

After ben done showering, he went downstairs to check up on you because he felt guilty about the argument earlier but you weren't in the living room so he tried to find you in the guest bedroom but u also weren't there, he tried to call your name

"Y/N.... Y/N, are u here babe?" all around the house but he didnt find you

Then he heard some knock on the door, he thought it was you but it turned your best friend, Camilla.

" Omg you camilla, i thought it was Y/N"

"What shes not home? where is she ben?"

"Shes home when i arrived then after i showered shes gone"

"You should find her, her car missing i thought u used it but youre here and her hand wounded because of this morning accident, she really need a rest, im so worried rn"

"What? what accident? she didnt tell me anything? oh my lord, i messed up real bad, fuck it"

"Dont you say youve had some argument earlier ben?" camilla narrowed her eyes

"Yes yes we had it okay, and it was kinda really bad camilla, she must gone because of it, ,im so stupid, ill go find her rn"

"Damn it you chilwell, find my friend rn or you dead with me!"

They both go out to the security guard and asked about you, its almost midnight and you havent even come back home. Ben really worried about you and getting more stressed out. He called you so many tjmes but seems you have blocked his contact, then he called all of his friends and bodyguard acquaintances to find you. He also went to all of your favorite places but still he didn't find you. He drove his car with tears coming down on his cheek, he really regret what he have done to you, you didn't deserve to be treated like that. You are his princess, best friend, and also partner in everything, how could he be so mean, how could he let anger overwhelm him.

Its 3.30 am, hes still on the road till he got a call from a guy name Franky his bodyguard acquaintances, he said he found u because u use your credit card to stay in a hotel. Ben directly went to that hotel and asking your room number to the receptionist, glad that he knew ben and knew that you are his girlfriend so he let him to have the spare key.

Ben already there, in front of room 305 your room. He got in and found the silent and dark room. He turned on the light and saw you slept peacefully on the king size bed. He saw your puffy face and traces of tears that still wet on your cheeks. He checked your wounded palm too, looking at you like this made him really felt terrible rn.

Benji checked your silent phone and found so many missed calls from him, camilla, and others. Benji sent text to camilla first to tell her that youre okay. After that he just lay beside and hugging you till he fell asleep.

In the morning you awake and realized youre not home, but u felt someones arm hugging u from behind, u wanted to shout out at first but then u recognize the hand and also the tattooes. ITS MR CHILWELL.

You try to get up and let go his grip slowly, but Benji noticed.

"Hi baby" u just silent at his raspy voice, youre mad at him but also missing him sm at the same time.

"Hey i know you awake love, come here, let me see your face"

You try to hold ur body but u cant, he managed to turn your body to face his. His face looked so calm now not like last night. He smiled at you for a awhile.

He suddenly kiss your lips and u wipe it

"Huftt i know u must be really mad at me rn, im sorryy babe, i messed up"

"Oh you call me babe now?"

"Sorry sorryy Y/N, babe, i really regret what i did to you last night, im sorry, i let my emotion took control of me" he pleaded

"Yea" that was all u said, tried to get up from his tight hands around you

"No no youre not going anywhere" he said

"Huftt... i dont know Ben, im really dissappointed at you right now. The way u treated me last night make me feel like u dont love me anymore. You really know it well that i dont like when people raised their voice on me especially the people i love, you" u said it in tears

"Baby i know, i know you we've been together for 4 years. I really know it well, im sorry that i treated you like youre somekind of punching bag to me. It was just the effect of bad season and the rumour about my teammates, i just really stress and dont know what to do. Instead i let out my anger and bad mood all to you, while all u did for me was just supporting and taking care of me. Im sorry that i called you annoying i didnt mean it. You always such a loving and caring person especially to me , i really lucky to have you in my life. Im the one whos being a dick all the time since the bad season coming for chels" he said it all in tears also

You touched, you know u shouldnt go easy to him after he breaking ur heart like that. But you love him and you know frpm the deep down of your heart that he really didnt mean it. He even put so much effort to find you. You sighs and continue

"I know, you just stressed out but im here as your partner to comfort you, taking care you, hearing you, and loving you okay not a place for you to let out your anger out. I just wanted to support you Ben in every obstacles on your life, dont get it wrong. And ya maybe sorry if im being too much chatty in your house too, ill try reduce it"

"Love noo, its our house not my house. Its ours not only mine, and no youre not chatty im sorry you just wanted to take care of me and please do it for me" he smiled wiping off your tears

"I really regret my act last night, give me one chance to make us better" he continued

"Um noo" you answered

"Baby what do you mean no" he afraid of the possibility of breaking up and losing you

"Are you not gonna forgive and give me a chance?" he panicking

"I do give you a chance but i cant forgive you yet" you said "It was just too much for me, you know it right?"

"Okay okayy, im glad to hear that thank you sweet" he kissed you

"How do i make it up then baby?"

"With a rope and handcuffs maybe?"

"Oh you want to have playtime? thats easy babe. We just need to get home first"

"Yea playtime but this time im not the one whos being tied and hancuffed"

"You mean me?? hell no" benji refused it

"Okay then no sleeping with me for the next 1 week" you threathen

"Noooo, okay okay babyyy im down for it, youre the dom for tonight's playtime" he smiled

"Yayyy and can i ask one more thing again?"

you pleaded with puppy eyes

"Anything for my baby"

"Can you accompany me to watch barbie and going shopping for barbie related things?"

"Yes you can love, its easier than to be a sub for a playtime" he carresed your cheek

"Now can you forgive me now? I need an official statement from you"

"Yeaa kindaaa"

"I take it as a yes princess, and dont ever you call me Ben again, its terrifying"

You indeed never call him by his real name its always Benji, love, baby, babe, etc, because if you call him by his real name he knows it well that he has messed up real bad with you and he didnt like that also.

"And btw why u didnt tell me about thi" ben asked pointing to your wounded hand

"Dont want u to be worried to much at me while youre on the pitch" you smiled innocently

"Love u have to tell me okay, im sorry i didnt even paying attention to it"

"Its okay, im okay now"

"Have you bring it to the doctor?"

"Yes i have, yesterday and she said its totally okay, i just need to treat it well and change my bandages"

"Hmm i see, lets get home right now and take care your wound okay, you also owe me a story of this little accident"

"I will tell u in car, lets get out pf here right now benjii, im hungryy"

"Lets goo, but kiss me first and say i love you baby"

"Why?? u always like it when i call you Benji"

" I like it but baby is more special to me, also just want to make sure you really forgive me :)"

"I forgive you Mr.Ben Chilwell" you kissed him in a passionate kiss, quite long kiss the you two pull out

"And i really love you baby, thats the reason why i cant stay mad at you" rub your nose against his

"But promise me you will never do that again?"

"Promise princess, i will make you happy, im sorry about yesterday alright love? I really regret it, i love you so much"

You two once again pull in for a kiss and then checked out from the hotel and going home.

[carryingthebanner]

Unpopular opinion: Race is very overrated

I don’t even know what to say because I’ve never even thought about this

[herstarburststories]

Merry... Birthday?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: You love christmas, but Dean doesn’t. Yet, he might make an exception for your birthday this year.

A/N: This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr​ ‘s secret fic exchange. My secret Santa was @katymacsupernatural​. Hey, honey! I hope you enjoy this and happy birthday! You deserve double presents, so here’s mine. All mistakes are mine!

Divider by @talesmaniac89 !

You loved Christmas.

It was probably a nostalgic longing for your long gone urban life. Just in the same way you’d still catch yourself looking through the news for election results or feel your stomach twist if you didn’t eat homemade food at least twice a week. You were dead to the government and certainly spent more on the road than in a home. Besides, you had met up with God enough times to know him. All the encounters and screaming and unapologetic abandonment should make you want to throw any baby Jesus against a wall or even climb on a Christmas tree just to shout about all the hoaxes so perfectly molded in patterns through our brains like braids.

Yet, something about you loved christmas. 

The pretty lights always shining, it didn’t matter where you go. For once, all the city-- everything would be entirely made of light. Their incandescent glow always companishing each person, either it was in an once treacherous alley or only to make the kids' grin bigger as they watched them among the busy streets with wide eyed gazes. The confusion in the kitchen that often ended up with huffs bursting into chuckles between the smell of meals that were too much and would make a room for leftovers for the rest of the week. How everything seemed to be made only of happiness, and nothing could ever cut through those water; all the knives were suddenly swords for kids to play and no white gun. In Christmas, a house became a kingdom for every heart. Everything was good and felt through the skin to the bone, like a single glimpse, a hidden day of what would be paradise.

That was how you were raised, at least. The Winchesters didn’t share the same mindset, no. While you grew up with decorating the tree, they were hiding bodies in the dim light. Leftovers were all through their whole year, and Christmas was described as good or not with one single criteria: snow streets. They had to take one? Annoying date. They didn’t and there was eggnog? Bearable Jesus’s birthday.

Yet, you attempted to make the bunker the more festive possible: buying a bunch of christmas lights, cookies’ ingredients and even a small nativity scene. Your attempts to enjoy the date’s niciities ended up with Sam breaking his arm after crashing on the ground because you insisted on him putting the lights in a place higher than his age, not to mention the burned cookies that looked more like tiny monsters than gingerbread men.

Your parents used to make this look so much easier.

Although the youngest Winchester understood a little more about the concept of holidays, a believer in the good until the very end, his brother didn’t share the idea. You couldn’t say you were surprised. Dean just had two barely normal christmas in his life: one when he was dying and one with Lisa and Ben. Both situations made it to his heart only to shatter from the inside.

‘’Baby Jesus?’’ Dean snorted, shaking his head at the sight of you adjusting the weird little dolls in the nativity. He placed another ruined cook in his mouth, speaking with his mouth full next: ‘’We have the son of Lucifer, guess that counts.’’

‘’Don’t say that once Jack gets home.’’ You rolled your eyes, turning to face the oldest Winchester with your hands on your hips. How could he eat that? You couldn’t even make it a bite and Sam only had half of those. ‘’And stop eating those. They are burned.’’

‘’I’ve had worse.’’ He remarked, adding another cookie to his mouth. You grimaced, wondering for a brief moment how your boyfriend could be simultaneously the guy who saved the world and a man with the taste of a five years old.

‘’Yeah. But I’m the one who has to hear you whining about your bellyache later.’’

‘’I don’t whine--’’ You arched your eyebrows at his statement, making Dean huff in agreement. ‘’That was once and because of Sam’s weird ass vegan bacon.’’

‘’You acted like you were dying.’’

‘’My tongue was!’’

‘’So get this.’’ Sam’s voice interrupted your childish argument, catching the attention of both hunters like a shiny object did to a cat. ‘’Apparently we got an earlier christmas gift.’’

‘’What is it?’’ You asked, approaching the table.

‘’Three teenagers disappeared in the forest, all personal objects left behind.’’ Sam explained as Dean scratched out his neck to glance at his brother’s computer screen. Nothing like a case in Colorado. ‘’The authorities think it’s a serial killer. But one of the girls, Kayla Wodson, said she saw a weird, skinny giant take her friends.’’

‘’Ho ho ho and three bodies.’’ Dean clapped his hands together with a wry curve of lips. ‘’Alright. Let’s hit the road-- Wait, wait, wait. Where do you think you are going?’’

You were standing beside Dean while Sam raised to his feet, ready to pack his bags. Dean, nonetheless, was quicker than his brother, soon putting himself in front of Sammy; hands protectively standing in front of the youngest’s chest to keep him from moving any further.

He shook his head with a scoff. ‘’Dude, come on.’’

‘’Not happening, Sammy. You got a broken arm.’’ You mumbled a sorry along Dean’s big brother speech, to which Sam replied with a comprehensive smile. ‘’Y/N and I take care of it.’’

‘’He’s right. Must be the first time in his life, but he is.’’ Dean turned his head, furrowing his eyebrows at you ‘’Don’t worry. It’s just a wendigo anyway. ‘’

‘’Okay. Just…’’

‘’Don’t forget the fireblazer. As if your brother would miss an opportunity to use it.’’ You scrunched up your noise, causing a chortle out of Sam while Dean commented something about grabbing the specific instrument and walked away. ‘’Maybe you could call Eileen. Ask her to help you to back some christmas cookies.’’

Sammy shook his head at your wiggling brows. ‘’That doesn’t sound as sexy for me as it does for you.’’

Dean Winchester was good with numbers.

Not the urban numerical sense of the deal, of course. He almost didn’t make it in sixth grade with useless geometry and all that, and he still used his fingers to count when he had to deal with an equation. No, his good and quick way with numbers was easier, intrinsic to his head.

How many years since mom died? Seventeen. How many people did he have to save? All of them. How many years had he left? Less than he once owned.

Hunter math was simpler, and was all he really needed since he was four years old, running from the fire with his baby brother in his arms-- which brought him to the second section of his particular geometry: birthdays and death anniversaries. Dean never, ever forgot any special date. Those were his own holidays, the only worth celebrating and remembering. His wishes, grief, and cherishment were reserved for the people he loved, not some celestial assholes who saw his life like a book.

Therefore, his mind went on a golden rush for your day as soon as the Wendigo hunt took more than you both expected. You wouldn't be able to make it home before your birthday, which would be ending shortly, a matter of two or three hours. His inner engineers were useful tonight, in his vision, useful enough to make those sappy movies jealous. While you were washing some guts and leaves away, Dean went to the nearest convenience store. His long arms nesting a bunch of stuff he never dared to touch in years. The cashier with drowsy eyes and escarlet Santa hat seemed bored with his shopping, probably because she saw an uncountable amount of people buying the same things over and over. He couldn’t blame her for the suburban exhaustion. If anything, it was a small comfort for his war orbs to see and be a part of a scene so mundane.

He hustled back to the dive motel room, singing in relief to himself once he stepped in and heard you singing Christmas Tree Farm while the water rushed in. He grimaced at himself for recognizing that Taylor Swift song. How couldn’t he? That woman was 80% of all you heard everyday. Man, he was whipped.

Tilting his head back in reality, he started organizing in clumsy manners of putting everything in place for you. His bruised hands touching so carefully the fragile ornaments to make the motel room with grubby walls and weird black stan on the floor that only seemed to grow a little more like you.

You, the woman who put up with him, who laughed at his stupid jokes, and who watched Scooby Doo, all snuggled up to him every friday. You, the woman who switched from AC/DC to Taylor Swift and then Eric Clapton. You, the one who understood his job and helped him to wash off some of the blood on his hand and never got scared of how red the water could get. You, the girl who rolled her eyes at his first attempt of flirting and now stole his french fries and kissed his lips as if he was worth being delicate with. You, his breathing, his true holiday, his only act of faith besides Sammy.

Dean pressed his teeth against his bottom lip, looking up and down his little manual work. Part of him said it was ridiculous, he surely would make a lot of fun of Sam if he did that to a chick. Yet, mostly he was proud. He wanted you to like it. It wasn’t even near to what you deserved, but it was a piece of it. It was what the Winchester could give you, and that would be hopefully, enough.

While Dean was caught in the crossroad of judging and admiring his surprise, you left the shower with a towel wrapped around your head and lips mumbling Cocaine. Your feet glued to the ground once you witnessed what was in front of you: the room was decorated with christmas lights, a tiny plastic tree on the table, right beside a pie with candle on the top and two cup of what smelled like hot cocoa.

‘’Dean…’’ Your tender tone brought him back from his traineck thoughts as he turned around to glance at you. You chortled in astonishment as he raised his eyes and said surprise! ‘’What’s this?’’

‘’Well, it’s your birthday.’’ He shrugged, scooting closer to you with a smirk. Dean smoothly wrapped his arms around your waist, yours instantly resting around his neck. ‘’In my defense, they just had christmas stuff. Blame your parents for having you close to Jesus’ special day.’’

‘’Christmas stuff include pie and not cake?’’ Your brows knitted together, a heartwarming smile on your lips as you watched his expression marked by multicolored little lights. He smelled like something was a blaze, and you knew that was for standing too close to the candle and not for burning a body this time. Small changes.

He scoffed humorously. ‘’You like pie better anyway.’’ He nodded at the carnival-like situation around you two. Dean Winchester wasn’t the kind of man who got insecure, but you could catch a perk of brand nervous hesitation as his green eyes shot you an anxious glance. ‘’Did you like it?’’

‘’I loved it.’’ You pulled cheeks dimpled with joy that was kissed by Dean’s own smiling lips. The kiss was so gentle, it was his own palpable light hearted emotion. You being happy in his arms. It had been so long since he felt he could be enough, he could make someone happy. But you were right there. As you pulled away, another short kiss was given between playful words: ‘’That’s what I call a christmas miracle.’’

‘’Shush.’’ He leaned in and pecked your lips. As Dean pulled back, he couldn’t help but watch around with the pride of Hubris. His glance went back to you, a lopsided grin on his face. God, you loved that smile. You loved that man. ‘’So I added some whiskey to the hot cocoa. We could drink some, eat the pie, and see if those lights make a good improvise rope. What do you tell me?’’

All you could do was kiss him again.

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[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: The Perfect Date

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: There's trouble in paradise for you and Ben but will the distance bring about some revelations? And what does it mean for your romantic reunion?

Warnings: The usual fairly innocent stuff, some swearing and drinking and mentions of smoking, but with the additions of PDAs out the wazoo, public make out, private make out.

Words: 8093

A/N: Things get a lil spicy in this one! Small disclaimer that I don’t drink so I have no idea what wine does to someone, or two someones who split a bottle. Also just another reminder that this was in no way inspired by rumours regarding Ben’s rl relationship with Olivia Cooke. I believe they’re legit, and I will not engage with anyone about that topic. 

Taglist:  @laedymoon  @dtfrogertaylor  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor  @hannafuckingsucks  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah

@coni-martina @johndeaconshands @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle​ @vicouscirce​ @arianabrashierstuff​

You headed straight to the bathroom and threw up. Ben had called twice on your way home, but you’d let it go to voicemail, not ready to hear him admonish you for eavesdropping on him or to be asked if you felt the same. You supposed it was adrenaline or something that was making you feel nauseous. Of course, you’d have to talk to him eventually, at least to apologise for going so off book, but it could wait until you weren’t feeling so miserable. With teary eyes, you made your way to the kitchen, grabbed a drink to help settle your stomach, and then flopped onto the couch to flick through TV channels until you found something distracting enough. Your phone rang again but when you glanced at the screen it wasn’t Ben’s name you saw. “Mary?” If she heard any evidence of your distress in your voice she didn’t mention it, “Brilliant performance Y/N. The video was tweeted out about ten minutes after you left the restaurant and it’s already been shared more than you’d believe.” “Oh, that’s good.” “Better than good. People are eating it up. There’ll be articles tomorrow predicting your breakup and not just the ones we’ve organised. We’re going to ask that you and Ben refrain from seeing each other in public for the next two weeks or so, make it look like you’re taking some time apart. That’ll give the video plenty of time to circulate and allow us to get out a few variations of the trouble in paradise story. Of course, you’re free to visit each other and speak over the phone but be wary in case other paparazzi start following you in addition to the one’s we’ve hired. Chances are more people will be looking to scoop the official breakup story if all goes as well as these early numbers indicate it will. Then we’ll hit them with the romantic makeup dinner at Boucher. And after that it’s back to playing the happy couple. Of course there’ll be the press junket and premiere in a couple of months’ time and then we can break you up for good.” She kept talking about plans for he press tour, something about flights and hotels, but you stopped paying attention, already getting twitter open and searching for the video. It didn’t take long to find it, the caption proclaiming he who’d caught the footage had noticed you and Ben arrive and had pulled out his camera as soon as he realised things weren’t particularly happy. “Sorry, Mary, I’m gonna have to call you back.” “Everything alright?” “Yeah, just a small mishap with the washing machine. I’ll talk to you later.” As soon as she was gone you pressed play on the video. Filmed from a table to the left of yours and slightly behind your shoulder, the phone tipped at an angle so it wouldn��t be spotted. Your heart pounded as you watched. It was all there, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife as Ben tried to draw you into conversation. You heard the bite in your tone, the confusion in his. And you saw what you’d not noticed in the moment. The way his face fell when you said it was too much. The way his nails dug into his palm as he clutched his fork so tightly. The hurt on his face when you called him clingy and needy. He stood up as you walked away but he didn’t follow, just dragged his hand through his hair and then sat down heavily, worrying at his thumbnail with his teeth. The waiter came over, presumably with the bill but the video cut out before anything more was said. They’d got what they wanted. They didn’t need the aftermath.

The next day there was an unexpected knock on your door. You put down your phone where you were watching the video again and peeked out the window, worried that it was Ben come to confront you. Instead you saw Felicity raise her fist and knock again. “I saw the video,” was the first thing she said when you let her in, “are you okay?” “I wish people would stop asking me that. I’m fine.” “You had a straight up cat fight in the middle of a restaurant, and there are paparazzi practically camping in your front yard, you’re not fine.” “Okay, maybe not fine fine. But it’s whatever. How many are out there?” “Three. But what happened? Last week you told me you weren’t going to break up.” “We haven’t broken up.” “Well then what was that?” “I don’t know. It’s been building for a bit I guess. He’s just more serious about it all than I am.” “So I heard. Are you sure you aren’t just panicking?” “Panicking about what?” “Well, y’know, you’ve been in the tabloids a bit lately. That must put a strain on things. Maybe you just got a little freaked out by it and pushed Ben away rather than let yourself be vulnerable,” “What are you my shrink?” “Hey, I’m just trying to help.” “Yeah well, you’re wrong. The paps are kind of annoying but they aren’t the problem. The problem…” you took a breath as you considered what was safe to say, “the problem is that Ben has been on a different page to me for a while now. I think we both just need some space.” “Okay, if that’s what you want to go with,” she clearly didn’t believe you, “Have you talked to him about it?” “Not yet. Figured I’d call back sometime today when my head was clearer.” She nodded, “Well, I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Moral support when you call him or someone to bitch to afterwards or just somebody to get drunk with.” She pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight and for a moment you felt like you might cry. All you could think about was Ben’s expression when you walked out, how wounded he looked.

Felicity stayed with you for the rest of the day which was good because her presence stopped you from doing nothing but watching the video over and over again. As it was you found it hard to keep yourself from looking at the comments people left on it. A lot of people took Ben’s side, calling you a bitch or worse, sometimes even direct messaging you their opinions. But there were also those lampooning Ben for smothering you, some going so far as to claim they were early signs of manipulative and controlling tendencies and that he deserved the public humiliation of it all. Those were the comments that made you feel worst. Being called a cunt you could deal with. Being told Ben deserved better you could easily deal with. But seeing such horrible suggestions of Ben being thrown about made your heart ache. He wasn’t mean or manipulative. He’d been nothing but kind to everyone on set and especially to you. Any lingering annoyance that hadn’t left you along with the little you’d eaten seemed to melt away, leaving you feeling cold at the thought of what you’d said. Yes he’d been stupid and selfish to agree to pretend to date you when he actually had a crush on you. But not once had he tried to wheedle a confession of love from you, not once had he pushed himself onto you. He’d always been respectful of your boundaries, warned you before he kissed you, asked if you wanted to share a blanket rather than just assume you did. Even your rules he’d mostly stuck to. The one exception being the cutesy nickname, but you’d never put up much of a fight with that. You only knew that he felt something for you because you’d listened in to a private conversation. And really, could you blame him for developing feelings? You’d literally been cast as lovers because you had good chemistry and then you’d spent weeks getting even closer, made all the more necessary by your fake romance. He was hardly the first person in history to have his on-screen feelings transfer to real life. And surely, if he’d decided to tell his friend everything, even after signing contractual documents about keeping it secret, then he must be serious about you, about how much he liked you. Maybe you had it wrong. Maybe there was something there you hadn’t consi-. “Stop wallowing,” Felicities voice cut through your thoughts, “Put the phone down and stop thinking about Ben for five minutes.” You shook your head to clear it, “I’m not wallowing.” “Are you on twitter right now?” “Maybe,” “You’re wallowing. C’mon, give me the phone.” She held out her hand, giving you had no choice but to hand it over. “Has anyone ever told you you’d make a good teacher,” “Once or twice. You can have this,” she brandished your phone at you and then shoved it into her bag, “back when you’re ready to call Ben. Until then we are getting out of the house.” “Out of the house where?” you asked, letting her pull you from your seat. “Just out. You need some fresh air. Go on, get your shoes.” “Alright, alright, I’m going,” you said, with the first genuine chuckle you’d had in days.

You ended up at the park a street over, sitting on a bench overlooking the duckpond. One or two of the photographers followed you, but they were easy to ignore. As soon as you stopped moving your mind was back on the previous night, but Felicity must have sensed as much for she quickly blurted out a fun fact about ducks to distract you. For the rest of the time you were there she kept your mind on other things. She gave you an extended rundown on all the gossip from her workplace. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know who Derick was, you soon heard all about his tryst with the copy boy, and when you asked if the Susie M who was mentioned was the same Susie M that made out with the boss at last year’s Christmas party you heard all about the fallout from her drunk misstep. Felicity led you on a stroll around the pond as you laughed at her stories and filled her in on what you were hoping your next role would be. “I’ve been sent a couple of interesting scripts. There’s one for a sci fi time travel thing which I’m hoping to get a call back for. And there was one for a comedy about a coven of witches causing mayhem with their potions. I’m only about halfway through the script but I’d happily play any of the three lead witches, so I think I’ll have a crack at it.” “They both sound really good. Different to your last role.” “Yeah. Different’s good though.” Eventually you wound your way towards a small coffee shop opposite the far side of the park. The slice of apple tea cake you ordered was the first food you’d eaten since the few bites at dinner and Felicity didn’t let you leave until you’d finished it, though she was subtle in her insistence. When you put your fork down with food still left on the plate she ordered a second coffee for each of you which gave you little to do but keep eating. You thanked her after but she pretended not to know what you were talking about. It wasn’t until you got home again that she returned your phone. “You should call Ben,” “Do I have to?” “Stop pouting and do it. You’re cute together and you obviously love him. Just suck it up and talk to him.” You let out a heavy sigh and then took the phone back, refraining from rolling your eyes at how wrong she was about your feelings.

You headed out onto the back patio and, with some slight trepidation, called Ben. The call rang out. With a frown you headed back inside only to be greeted by Felicity making chicken noises. “I didn’t chicken out, he just didn’t pick up. He must be busy.” “Or he’s upset. Call back. You can come in after he’s not picked up three times or you’ve had a chat.” “Okay, I’ll try again, jeez,” you went back outside and shut the door behind you. Your second attempt was as unsuccessful as your first and you were just about to hang up on the third try when he picked up. “Hello?” “Hi Ben,” “Y/N,” there was none of the joy in his voice that usually accompanied your name. “Can we talk, is now a good time?” “Yeah,” “Okay, I just, uh, I wasn’t sure since you didn’t pick up straight away.” “Well I wouldn’t want to come across as more needy than I already do.” “I shouldn’t have said that,” you leaned against the wall of the house in the same spot you’d seen Ben lean countless times after you’d told him he couldn’t smoke inside, “I’m so so sorry about everything I said.” “It’s not what you said, Y/N. I get it, we had to fight and you let loose. From an acting perspective I’m actually really fucking impressed. I, uh, I might have watched the video when I got home, just once, and it looks legit. Like, that line about pretending to love me as much as I do you.” You held your breath, waiting for him to ask how you knew. “I mean, that’s exactly what we were going for anyway, just without the details of not having met each other’s families. Everyone still heard us argue about moving at different paces and it was some really great improvisation.” “You think so?” “Yeah absolutely. I don’t think I could have come up with a line like that on the fly. Seriously, if we were allowed to tell people it was fake, that would have fit well on your audition reel.” “So you’re not upset with me?” There was a pause as Ben thought about his next words. “Not upset exactly. Like I said, I get that it was a scene. But the way you sounded when you called me clingy….it was pretty clear there were some real feelings in there too and I,” Ben sighed, “I just wish you’d talk to me about how you were feeling beforehand.” “I didn’t really know how.” “But if I’d known that I was making you uncomfortable or coming across as clingy I would have pulled back. I could have texted less or crashed at your place less often. Not insisted on buying you books on our fake dates.” You scuffed your foot against the ground, not sure whether to come clean about overhearing him. You’d expected Ben to have realised by now that you knew, not to take what you’d said as some incredible performance. “I know I got kinda caught up in it all though,” he said before you could summon the courage to admit anything, “I, um, I really like…” You could feel your heart racing, convinced he was about to confess his feelings for you, completely unsure how to react. “…being someone’s boyfriend.” “Oh,” Why was he so determined to surprise you? Why did you feel disappointed? “It suits me. I like having someone to dote on and take care of and talk to and I guess it’s been a while since I properly, seriously dated anyone. I feel like I’ve got all this boyfriend energy stored up and nowhere for it to go. It comes in handy when we’re pretending to be on a date or whatever but sometimes it slips out when we’re just hanging out as friends, without the cameras and all that. Which isn’t an excuse or anything, I’m not trying to undermine any discomfort you felt.” “No, I get it.” “You do?” “Yeah. I mean, we said it was a weird situation right back when it was first pitched to us. That hasn’t really changed, has it?” “No,” he said with a small, soft chuckle, “still weird.” “Exactly. And sometimes I think it can be kind of confusing.” “Confusing?” You had a sudden mental image of a dog with pricked up ears, “Confusing’s maybe the wrong word. Hard to keep up with is I guess what I’m trying to say. It’s different to acting in love with someone on a movie because on a movie there’s a definite time span. The director calls cut and you can stop pretending. But we don’t get that cut. Even when there’s no cameras we’re still faking it for the people we know and anyone who might see us,” you glanced inside to make sure Felicity wasn’t listening in. “Do you think that’s why you didn’t know how to talk to me? Because there’s no clear line between Y/N and Ben as friends and Y/N and Ben as a couple.” “Maybe,” you shrugged, “I don’t think it helps.” “Yeah. It’s like, obviously there are times when we have to be all coupley and I guess it gets hard to say when something is uncomfortable because then it’s like what about next time we’re out and we have to do that thing anyway. And there are things I’m happy to do with my friends that I don’t think twice about but might carry extra meaning in our situation.” “Exactly. I don’t want to say I don’t like something and make you feel bad when we then have to do it because people are watching.” “So what are you suggesting then?” “Well, we aren’t allowed to see each other in public for a couple of weeks now, right? So maybe this could be a chance for us to take a break. Not in a completely cut off way, I still wanna talk to you and stuff. But if we give ourselves some space, y’know. Try and shake….excess feelings a-and work out our boundaries better.” “Sure, yeah, I can see how that would help.” “It’s just a couple of weeks and like we can still text or call or whatever we just wouldn’t hang out together and it wouldn’t be every day.” “Y/N, I get it. It’s a good idea.” You took a deep breath, “Okay. Cool. Um, so we’re good?” “Of course we are. I-” Ben seemed to stop himself from saying something, instead sighing, “We’re good,” “Good.” There was nothing else to stay but you didn’t want to hang up. Neither did Ben, it seemed, both of you just standing in silence. You could hear faint music playing on his end, like it was coming from another room. Maybe he was in his kitchen, leaning against the bench, the radio on in the next room over. Or maybe he was sitting on his couch, the TV down low so the repetitive game music wouldn’t disturb your conversation. You could see him so clearly, sitting in his usual seat, controller abandoned beside him. You wondered if he could tell where you were. “I guess I should go then,” He said softly, “I’ll talk to you soon.” “Bye Ben,” “Bye cud- Y/N.”

“How’d it go?” Felicity asked when you came back inside. “Alright. We’re gonna take a break from seeing each other so much and sort out how we feel and stuff.” “That sounds good,” “Yeah,” you felt relieved at having had the conversation but it was mixed with a weird sadness you couldn’t put your finger on, making you feel vaguely like you wanted to be sick again. “Why don’t you go lie down for a bit. I’ll hang out and then tonight we can order pizza and watch cat videos or vine compilations or something dumb like that.” “You don’t have to stay, I’m fine.” “Hun, I’m staying. Maybe I’ll take a run to the shop, pick up some ice cream and booze and face masks. Sound fun?” “Definitely,” “Alrighty then, it’s a plan.” You felt slightly cheered by the thought as you made your way to your room and fell onto the bed, not bothering to change or move the covers, but it didn’t stop room from blurring with tears as soon as you were alone.

Keeping the distance between you and Ben was a mixed bag. On one hand not seeing each other meant there was no lingering pressure of another date or photo opportunity weighing on you. But on the other it also meant a queue of TV shows you felt unable to watch since you’d started them together. You didn’t have to worry that Ben would suddenly call you or rock up on your doorstep, unable to keep his affections to himself any longer. But you also missed out on random messages asking if you could remember that song (“you know the one it was from the early 2000s. Went something like…,”) or the way he’d chuck popcorn at you from the other side of the couch until you managed to catch some in your mouth. It gave you a chance to relax without worrying you were leading him on, or that you’d say the wrong thing, or that the rules you’d come up with would be broken. But that was because you barely spoke to him. Your communication was kept to text messages whenever something big happened and not much more. Ben sent you a message when he got a call back for one of the movies he’d auditioned for. You texted him when your neighbour’s dog had puppies, partly because they’d asked if you knew anyone who could adopt one when it was a little bigger, but partly because the second you saw the babies you thought of how much he’d love them. And yes, you were sleeping better without so much pressure and anxiety, but it hadn’t stopped Ben from appearing in your dreams and even daydreams, explicitly so more often than you were willing to admit. Then of course there was the bombardment of emails from family and friends checking in on you after they’d seen the video. It got so out of hand you’d had to make a rare post on your private Facebook account letting them know things were fine, just to get them to stop harassing you. But you couldn’t stop the harassment you were getting from strangers on all your other social media pages. You got into the bad habit of checking all the big gossip mag websites for  stories about you, following them with as much fervour as any fan might. Ben must have had some paparazzi taking up residence on his street too because you saw countless pictures of Ben going about his day – out with friends, walking to Tesco, smoking outside a pub. And every time there was some story attached either about how heartbroken he was or about how he was sneaking off to meet you in private. You coped the same treatment, though sometimes with the added twist of announcing you were pregnant. All it did was make you wish you could have a hug from Ben and talk about it with him. You came very close to buying a pack of cigarettes one day, just so you could burn one and have its scent linger around your house like Ben had brought it in with him. Felicity was brilliant. She found amusement in the unfamiliar photographers, especially when an article appeared with photos of you and her hugging on your doorstep, speculating you’d moved on from Ben already. It wasn’t so surprising that she’d snuck her way into the magazines she so loved to read considering she checked in on you a lot in the first few days. But, as much as you loved her, and as much as she made you laugh, she had her own job and partner to think about and she couldn’t quite grasp what was happening the same way Ben could have. You missed him more than you thought you would, even with all the baggage from his unrequited crush. So much so that the realisation your makeup date was approaching had you grinning as you made your morning coffee, humming the song from his mug.

It was a surprise, though not an unpleasant one, to hear your phone ringing at close to nine the night before the date. You were sitting in bed playing solitaire on your laptop when your ringtone interrupted. Ben was apologetic as he greeted you, repeatedly saying sorry for calling at all. “It’s okay Ben, I really don’t mind.” You said, putting the laptop aside and relaxing back against the pillows. “Are you sure? I should have just emailed you.” “Ben, stop. I’m glad you called. I’ve missed hearing your voice.” “You have?” “Of course I have. I spent two and a bit months doing nothing but listen to you blab, you really think I’d just forget you?” You could hear his smile when he continued, “I’ve missed talking to you too. I figured this would be a good excuse.” “This being?” “Tomorrow night. Peter said he’d send you the info.” “Of course, yeah I got his email. Tomorrow night, meeting at Boucher at seven.” “Yup, that’s the info.” “I was told to dress up and be prepared to smooch.” “Did he say smooch?” “No,” you laughed, “His phrasing sounded a lot stuffier and careful not to create a lawsuit, but I figured that’s what he meant.” “Yeah, um, you’re okay with that?” “Absolutely. It’s a makeup dinner and we’re going to be together for another couple of months so we should play up the romance and the um, physicality and all that.” You tried to ignore the sudden warmth in your cheeks and the memory of your last dream. “Okay, good because I was specifically told about what happens when we leave the restaurant.” “Hmmm I think I remember something about that but again, stuffy non-lawsuit language. Kinda hard to follow at times.” “Basically they want us to make out while we wait for an Uber. Like, proper make out.” “Oh,” “I told them neither of us are public make out people but they’re insisting they need it. Something about it being an obvious indication of getting back together or whatever. And technically we agreed to it when we signed up for this whole thing.” “Thanks for the heads up.” “No worries. Glad I called now, wouldn’t have wanted to just spring that on you. But um, that’s it really, I’ll let you get back to your last night of peace.” “Wait,” you blurted without having anything else to say. “Yeah?” “Ummm, oh! Did you hear anything more about that movie?” “Not yet but Peter said they’re still in talks. Hopefully soon.” “What’s it about?” “It’s an actiony thriller thing. This guy, the role I auditioned for, witnesses a murder and then gets dragged into this revenge mission. I’d get to shoot some big guns and drive a cool car and y’know save the girl, all that stuff.” “Sounds fun,” “Yeah, what about you, any auditions?” “One or two but nothing’s come of them. I sent my reel in for this supernatural comedy about a coven of witches. Too soon to know anything though.” “Well I hope you get it,” “Yeah, likewise.” “Thanks.” You were forcefully reminded of your last conversation when you both lapsed into silence again, neither of you making any move to hang up. You wanted to keep talking but part of you was worried that if you used up all your conversation topics now, you’d have nothing to talk about over dinner tomorrow, and if that happened you were bound to blurt out something you shouldn’t. Instead you just savoured the sound of Ben’s breaths and the odd rustle of clothing as he shifted around. Once again he was the one to break the silence. “Well, as lovely as it has been to chat, I should go. Gotta get a good night sleep so I’m ready to woo you tomorrow.” “You’re not going to bed yet are you? It’s so early,” “I was gonna read or something for a bit actually.” “Have you finished that show we started?” “Which one?” “Any of them? “No. Figured they could wait.” “You wanna watch one now?” “What, over the phone?” “Yeah, we can try to time it so it plays at the same time.” “Uh, sure, why not,” You quickly grabbed your laptop and, after some discussion of which show you were more in the mood for, found the right episode. There was laughter on both ends of the line as you attempted to hit play at the same time, counting down from three between giggles. It took you a few tries but you eventually got them to sync up, more or less. It felt nice to hear Ben’s laughter again, his voice when he sang along with the soundtrack, his comments about the nitty gritty of the production side – odd line deliveries and angles of shots. He was easy to talk to. Though with everything that had happened, everything you knew, just the act of talking to him set off butterflies in your stomach.

It took you well over an hour to get ready for the date. You’d been told to go all out so that’s exactly what you did. With a little help from Felicity so you could get away with a calming pre dinner drink. She gave you a hand choosing an outfit – a dress, short but not too short, classy but eye catching. It had started life as a dress for a movie premiere but after a few years the top didn’t fit quite right so you’d had it altered, the skirt was taken up, cut off and attached to a new top that more suited your current style, leaving you with a slightly shorter and much more you outfit. Glass of Prosecco close to hand, Felicity worked on your hair and offered advice on your makeup. When you were finished and could reveal the full look to her, she squealed. “You’re absolutely going to get laid.” “Shut up. I look alright though? Lipstick’s not too dark?” “Honey, you look gorgeous. I swear, you’re gonna get dicked down in the bathroom of that fancy as fuck restaurant because he’s not gonna be able to keep his hands off you.” You burst out laughing, “Good to know. Not exactly the plan for the evening but at least I’m prepared now.” “What is your plan?” “I don’t really have one, which is not helping me stay calm. I guess just find out if he’s still interested in me. And then work out where we go from there. We talked last night and that was good but I just need to know if he’s, you know, still into me.” “He’s head over heels for you, that won’t have changed. The question is, do you love him?” You wanted to say no but obviously couldn’t so you settled for a soft, “I’ve have missed him.” She hummed with an annoyingly knowing look. “I should be going, the Uber’ll be here soon.” Felicity pulled you into a hug, “Knock him dead, Y/N,” and then, as an afterthought added, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “You first hooked up with your girlfriend because some drunk guy told you he’d buy you both drinks if you made out. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do.” Felicity laughed, “That was just a free drink, imagine what I’d do if there was a fancy French dinner involved.”

You arrived before Ben did. A quick glance up and down the street told you he wasn’t approaching just yet, so you opened your clutch to give yourself something to think about other than the sound of snapping cameras. Phone, lipstick, tissues, compact mirror, three condoms. You laughed to yourself when you saw them and made a mental note to lie about how useful they were when you next saw Felicity. Quick footsteps caught your attention and you looked up in time to see Ben running towards you. “Sorry, I’m late,” he said between breaths, pressing a kiss to your cheek as soon as he was within reach, “My Uber got caught in traffic and I had to make a stop,” He held out a small bouquet of flowers in a variety of pinks, purples and yellows. “For me?” “No for the other girl I’m seeing, of course for you. You like them?” “They’re beautiful,” you took the bouquet and breathed in its sweet scent. “I saw it in the shop and, um yeah, I don’t know, they seemed nice, a-and I know you, um, like nice things, so,” he stopped babbling with a pained expression on his face, for once more visibly nervous than you. “It’s very sweet of you, thank you,” “I’m glad you think so because right now it feels kinda cliché and cheesy. Now you have to carry them around all night, what was I thinking? And god can I just shut up. Sorry.” You couldn’t help but laugh as he scrunched his nose up and ran his hand through his hair, unintentionally endearing, “Calm down, Ben, we’ve done this before.” “I know,” “Let’s just go inside, further away from these cameras, and have a drink, sound good? “God yes,” he nodded and let you lead him through the door up to the hostess stand, managing to pull himself together enough to give her the name of the booking. As expected, she told you to wait in the bar until a table was ready.

Ben downed his first drink in one hit. It made you wonder how hard he was finding it to be around you. Had the space helped him quiet his feeling for you? Or had it just made him want you more? Was that why he seemed so out of sorts, stumbling over his words in a way that was so unlike him. You desperately wanted to find out where he stood but it was impossible without giving yourself away. What you needed was for him to make another phone call you could overhear but the likelihood of that happening was slim. You’d just have to put it from your mind for now. “Better?” You asked Ben as he caught the barman’s attention and ordered a second drink. “Getting there,” He took the new glass and drank, just a sip this time, “You look stunning by the way. I should have said it earlier,” “Thank you, you look very handsome,” He glanced down at the suit he was wearing, “Thanks.” A somewhat awkward silence followed. “So,” you said, louder than necessary, desperate to get him talking like he normally did lest you start to freak out too, “You been here before?” “No. Never even heard of it before Mary and Peter mentioned it. You?” “Same.” You looked around the room, searching for something else to talk about, “Nice though.” “Yeah, yeah, really swanky.” “Bit different from the painting thing,” “Yeah, very. Look I need to tell you someth-” “Mr Hardy? Your table is ready,” You smiled at the hostess, as he thanked her, and followed her towards a table for two, setting your bouquet down to the side. Ben smiled at you from across the table. “You were saying?” you asked, apprehensive and curious. “Oh, um, nothing, doesn’t matter. We’ve got a date to focus on.” “Wouldn’t want all these prying eyes to miss anything,” “Exactly. Cuddle bunny,” You smiled at the nickname despite its ridiculousness and leaned forward in your seat slightly, letting your fingers gently rest against the back of his hand. If he wanted to focus on the date and putting on a good show for the public then that was something you could do, “Babe.” The flush you’d seen creep onto Ben’s face before appeared again and he reached for his glass once more. “So, how have you been?” you asked, pulling your hand back towards you. He looked at its retreat and then back at your eyes, “Good. Got to hang out with the boys a few times last week which was really good.” “Beat them at any more video games?” “They won’t let me anywhere near FIFA at the moment,” “Discrimination,” “That’s what I tried to tell them!” he laughed, seeming to relax a little more, “bunch of babies.” “What about that trip thing you were organising, have you sorted that out?” “Not entirely. It’s with my friend Joe who lives in the States. He was going to come out here but we decided it wasn’t worth it since I’ll be over there soon anyway.” “You will?” “Well both of us will be. Part of the press stuff for The Perfect Match.” “Oh, right, of course,” you giggled and tucked your hair behind your ear. “He’s looking forward to meeting you though.” “I bet he is,” you said automatically. Of course he’d be keen to meet the woman his friend was infatuated with, you would be too. Ben gave you a questioning look but you covered well enough, “I mean, he’d obviously know about us dating so I assume he’d be curious to meet your girlfriend. Especially if we’re having public spats and stuff.” “Right, yeah, definitely. What about you? What’s been happening?”

From there you fell into your usual style of conversation, both of you relaxing more as the night wore on and the bottle of wine you ordered grew emptier. The only difference from normal was the romance of it all, played up as much as possible. Brushing hands as you both reached for the salt, soft smiles and laughs. You even went so far as to twirl a strand of hair around your finger like some love struck teenybopper in a soap opera. When your food arrived you let Ben feed you a bite off his fork. You offered a taste of your meal in return and he held your wrist as he leaned in. A gesture that left you breathless, blinking at him as he slowly withdrew his hand. The wine’s fault probably. You’d polished off the bottle by the time dessert arrived, on top of the drinks you’d had before you sat down. It made you feel looser and you assumed the same of Ben, judging by how different his demeanour was to the nervous, stuttering one he’d had when he showed up. Perhaps that was why, with a spoonful of chocolate mousse halfway to his mouth and no regard for the conversation you were having, he suddenly said, “Can I ask about these last couple of weeks?” “Uh, yeah, what d’you want to know?” “Was it good? The space, did you get what you wanted from it?” You thought for a moment, putting down your own spoon, “Yes. I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t helpful because it really was. Just, having that break from everything. I think I really needed it. But I really really missed you too.” He smiled at that, looking down at his dessert like he was trying to hide it, “I’m glad. It was hard not seeing you but yeah, helped me figure some stuff out too. Confirmed some other stuff.” “Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.” “Like…um, the thing I said on the phone about enjoying playing the boyfriend. I like having someone special to share things with,” He sighed, “But that’s…not relevant right now. Do you want to get out of here?” You were a little taken aback by the suddenness of the suggestion but agreed, reapplying your lipstick for the cameras while the waiter collected your bill.

Ben wrapped his arm around your waist once you were outside, pulling you close. With the pretext on planting a kiss on your temple he quietly asked if you were ready for the next part. “Lay it on me,” you giggled, feeling warm and light. A second later his hand was sliding down your side towards your bum which set off another wave of giggles. He kept you close as you walked down the street, oblivious to the flash of cameras. Ben kept his arm around you, using the other to open the app and order a car. You stopped when you reached a quiet bus stop, Ben letting you go to sit down, tapping the spot beside him. But his hand wasn’t gone for long, instead moving to cup your cheek as he pulled you into a kiss. “I missed doing that,” he muttered but you were more focused on making it happen again, shifting yourself closer, laying your hand against him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. His heart was pounding under your palm, but it matched the beat against your own chest. You’d forgotten how good he was at kissing but it came flooding back as you opened your lips for him, felt his tongue against yours. His hand was firm on your back, pulling you in but still not close enough. You whined, let him pull you onto his lap, pressed yourself against him, one hand in his hair so he wouldn’t stop kissing you. His hands were everywhere, on your arms and back and squeezing your arse, holding you in place as you arched your back slightly and kissed him harder. A car horn right beside you made you pull away, startled. “Ben?” The older man asked, looking down at their phone, “I’m here to pick you up.” “Shit,” Ben said softly, and then to the driver, “Sorry, yes, that’s us.” You let your head fall forward onto his shoulder for a second, smothering your laughter. “C’mon cuddle bunny,” he said softly, “they’ve had enough of a show.” Your legs felt unsteady as you stood and smoothed your skirt down. Ben opened the back door for you and followed you inside. “So sorry about that,” he said again to the driver. He just laughed, “It’s alright. I remember being your age and completely smitten. You’re that couple I’ve seen online, right?” “Uh, yes, that’d be us, I think” “Well if you wanna keep making out I won’t stop you. Might have to tweet about it though.” Ben laughed, “Thanks but I think we can hold off for a bit.” You looked over at Ben and had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing too loud when you saw the lipstick smudged over Ben’s face. “What is it?” Still laughing you handed ben your compact mirror and the pack of tissues from your clutch. “Christ,” he said softly, “The internet’s going to fucking love this.”

The Uber driver left you at the end of Ben’s driveway with a wink and a have fun. There were paparazzi waiting for you so you grabbed Ben’s hand and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He led you inside, refusing to let go of your hand even while trying to dig his keys from the opposite pocket. Once you were inside, you placed your slightly bruised bouquet on the hall stand, leaned against the closed door and began taking your shoes off. Normally, after being out together and winding up at Ben’s place, you’d head straight to the bathroom to take off your makeup. He’d go and fetch two glasses of water if you’d been drinking or maybe something warm if the night was cool. You’d change into the pyjamas you kept at his place and then join him in the lounge room, sometimes tucking yourselves under the same blanket, to watch TV until you were yawning and struggling to stay awake. And then you’d wish each other good night and head to your separate rooms. But this time something felt different. You kicked your shoes to the side of the hallway and stayed against the door, watching as Ben pulled his wallet from his pocket, dropping it and his keys next to your flowers. He slowly turned towards you, taking a step closer. And you knew you should move, should dodge around him, make a joke about not needing to take off your makeup since he’d already done it for you but you found yourself stepping towards him too. There was a beat as you both realised how close you were. You heard Ben swallow, watched his eyes move to your lips unashamedly. Later, when you were lying in the dark wondering what the fuck had happened, you’d tell yourself it was the wine. A brief impairment of judgement exacerbated by months of celibacy and an easily suggestable brain. Whether you believed it was another question.

You closed the gap but he was only a second behind, hand back on your waist as his other found your jaw. You wrapped your arms around his neck, let him slowly walk you through the house towards the living room you where you’d spent so many nights joking around. He didn’t stop kissing you while you stumbled through the house, not unless he had to and even then he never went far, his breath hot against your lips. You pushed him down onto the couch and straddled his lap, continuing what had been interrupted, his hands falling back to your arse, pushing up your skirt, squeezing, as you tugged on his hair, making him groan. A single rational thought was trapped in the back of your mind, trying to breakthrough but it was hard to think when Ben was holding you like that, kissing you like that, especially after so long without being touched at all. He broke away to mouth at your throat and it was only then that you had enough time to think clearly. “Wait,” you said softly and then again more insistently. “What is it?” “What are we doing? We can’t,” “Why not?” You shook your head, and pushed yourself off of him, taking a couple of steps back, “It’s rule one Ben,” “We wouldn’t even have to break rule one though, we can just stay here on the couch. No harm in making out if we’ve already done it.” A whine caught in your throat and you took an extra half step back to keep from rushing into his arms again, more rational thoughts pushing through the broken wall and joining the first. You shouldn’t, not if there was any chance Ben still had a crush on you. It wouldn’t be fair. “I’d be good to you Y/N, you know I would,” You shook your head, “You know this isn’t real, right Ben?” “Of course I know that,” “Really? Because sometimes I think you forget I’m not actually in love with you.” What’s that supposed to mean?” You bit your lip to try and stop yourself from saying what you were about to say but it was no use, the words were already half out, “I heard you talking to Joe the night you left your keys at the bar. I know you have a crush on me.” “You heard that?” His eyes were wide, horrified. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear I just needed a drink an-.” “Oh my god,” He sat up straighter and ran a hand through his hair again and you wished it was your fingers mussing it up, “Maybe you should go.” “Wait, Ben, let’s just talk about it.” “Is that why you were upset before the argument? Is that why you didn’t want to see me for the last two weeks?” “I thought some space might help you stop feeling that way.” He laughed at that, “I’m – I’ve been trying to stop feeling like this for months now, since we were filming together, but I can’t, I can’t shake you. I love you. And it won’t go away.” “You love me?” Ben nodded, looking up at you from the couch but you couldn’t meet his eye. “You don’t have to say you don’t feel the same, I know.” You didn’t know what to say, just stood there, frozen in place. “That’s what I thought,” He stood up, chewing on his lip and when he spoke he had to clear his voice to make it loud enough for you to hear, “I, um, I know I just said you should leave but you can’t go yet. There are still paparazzi out there and we’re meant to look like we’ve made up. I’m going to go to bed though and you can stay until they leave or, if you can still stand to look at me, then you’re welcome to stay the night and I’ll drop you home in the morning. I’m really sorry.” You watched him walk towards the hallway, still frozen in place.

[livingmybestfictionallife]

Two Dharma Bums

Request (anon):  Ayo I saw that you were taking request, can I have some platonic Klaus x reader? Maybe klaus just kind living with the reader and them bein all domestic n shit

Summary: Klaus and the reader bond over their shared love of the beatnik counterculture and Kerouac. Klaus convinces the reader to come with him and travel across the country to live out the reader’s dream of the freedom displayed in Jack Kerouac’s On the Road. Also, I’m sorry if it’s rough. It’s unedited and quickly written.

A/N: No pronouns are used for the reader, so this can be female!reader or male!reader. Also, Klaus is 10000% a beatnik in this time period and would have thrived with Burroughs, Ginsburg, and Kerouac.

Arriving in 1960 Dallas with nothing but the spirit of his deceased brother clinging to him, Klaus desperately tried to suppress the anxieties that immediately plagued him. Why was he here? Where were his siblings? Was he the only one who made it? What made him so special and deserving of life over his brothers and sisters? What was he going to do now? 

After days without anything more than a passerby’s leftovers, Klaus was desperate for something to eat. He stumbled down street as he followed the familiar aroma of diner food. Growing up so close to Griddy’s, Klaus knew the smell of a moderately priced home-cooked style meal, and his stomach immediately twisted into angry knots of starvation. Without thinking anything through, he flung open the door and dropped himself into a booth near the front of the diner. Compared to the attire of the other inhabitants of the diner--the men’s nicely pressed trousers paired with comfortable overcoats and the women’s long skirts and petticoats--Klaus’s tattered and sleeveless army shirt, laced leather pants, shaggy hair, and dirt covered face instantly earned him the full attention of the diner.

All eyes being on Klaus wasn’t something he would normally turn down. His family knew he loved being the center of attention, and normally, this much attention would be cause for a snarky comment about his importance; however Klaus was tired. He was too tired to think about anything other than how much he wanted to sleep and eat, and that exhaustion led to his eyes drifting shut despite Ben’s continual pestering him to stay awake.

“Um, Y/N,” a young woman holding a notepad and pen said in an attempt to get her coworker’s attention.

“Yeah?” Y/N asked as you turned to meet your coworker’s eyes. With a furrowed brow, you examined her face. She normally wore a kind expression, full of smiles that earned a lot of tips, but her brows were furrowed and she wore an obviously concerned look over her face. Discreetly, she held her pen pointed in the direction of the front of the diner. The ball-point landed on a man with dark hair and grimy skin leaning against the wall with his legs stretched out across the booth and eyes fallen shut. “That’s my section today, isn’t it?” Y/N asked as the girl nodded in a way that instantly made Y/N assume she was thinking, ‘Better you than me.’

It was a chilly twenty-three degrees, which is fairly colder than normal for a Texas winter, and Y/N could see the man in the booth didn’t seem to be dressed appropriately for the weather that was only getting colder. The man shivered suddenly as Y/N reached the booth, and he shot upright as if he had been startled awake.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Welcome to Norma’s Cafe,” Y/N greeted the man with a half-smile. “What can I get for you?”

“Water, please,” the man said in a somewhat pathetic and empathy inducing tone, “and if you have any crackers, I’ll take those too, please.” As the door to the diner opened, Y/N couldn’t help but notice the man begin to tremble as the bitter air found its way to his exposed skin.

“Sure thing,” Y/N sighed upon witnessing the tragedy that was this homeless man. Already, Y/N’s heart was softened into feeling complete sympathy for the stranger. After returning to the kitchen to fill up a cup with water, Y/N grabbed a pot of hot coffee a mug, and a plate of toast before returning to the table. “I put in an order of the special for you as well. I hope you like your eggs scrambled,” Y/N said and placed the tray of drinks and toast in front of the man.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he hurried to repeat the single syllable until the server turned around to face him again. “I can’t pay for this. I don’t have any money.”

“It’s on me,” Y/N said with a reassuring smile.

“No, I’m fine with some crackers. I’m skinny, I don’t need a lot of food,” he tried to argue with the kindness of the stranger before him.

“You’re my last customer before my shift is up,” Y/N said with a shrug. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” Once again, Y/N rose in an attempt to wait in the kitchen for the food she ordered for this man only to have him protest one more time

“Can you at least keep me company? Maybe I can repay you with my witty sarcasm and great sense of humor.” A slight chuckle escaped Y/N’s lungs.

“You know I have to leave first to get your food, right?”

“So that’s a yes?” with a roll of Y/N’s eyes, a gentle smile fell over Klaus’s face. He was slightly surprised that Y/N decided to sit in the booth across from him as he ate, and even more so when he was encouraged to tell his ludicrous tale of how he ended up in Dallas in the first place. Their conversation was chaotic and jumped from so many different, interconnecting threads, somehow managing to find its way back to the point of origin after discussing Klaus’s past and Y/N’s seemingly illogical dreams and fascinations.

“Either you have a ridiculous imagination or your a beatnik like Ginsburg or Kerouac,” Y/N huffed and an entertained smirk flashed in Klaus’s direction.

“I’d consider myself to be more like Burroughs,” he retorted with a laugh as he finished the last of his food and sipped on the last of his coffee.

“Well, you certainly look like a dharma bum,” Y/N commented with an endearing and longing gaze. It had been a dream of Y/N’s to be able to pick up and leave, taking minimal belongings along on a journey across the country to a destination that had yet to present itself. Since reading Kerouac’s works, this dream had began to manifest as a pest in Y/N’s mind, constantly scratching at the part of the brain that controls impulses.

“In a way I am,” Klaus responded as he thought back over the course of his adult life. “I’ve never had a place of my own, no place to call home or people who wanted me around for longer than a few weeks at a time. Then there was the war, then ending up here.” His voice seemed to trail off as his mind went through everything he’d experienced in his short thirty years.

“I’ve read ‘On the Road’ and ‘The Dharma Bums’ so many times the spines are falling apart,” Y/N admitted. “There’s something so enchanting about that lifestyle that I can’t help but long for the open road and the uncertainty of where I’ll end up.” Y/N could see the ideas turning around in Klaus’s head as he thought over the words that had been dumped between them.

“Do you have a car?” It was a short and simple question that was answered with a nod of Y/N’s head. “Then let’s go.”

“Just like that? No thinking anything through? You don’t have any ties or anything keeping you here?”

“I just told you my true story. I have nothing and no one,” Klaus stated, subsequently earning an annoyed grunt from Ben. He could tell Y/N was thinking the offer over and the idea repeated in both of their heads like a broken record. “Come on,” Klaus urged, “You’ll be surprised by how easy the act of leaving is, and how good it feels! The world is rich with possibilities,” he loosely quoted the line from On the Road that circulated throughout Y/N’s mind.

“I have nothing to offer anyone but my own confusion,” Y/N responded with another quote, hoping Klaus would understand.

“What are you getting here that you can’t get anywhere else?” Klaus prompted. He had leaned across the booth and was excitedly staring into Y/N’s eyes as his heart raced at the possibility of not having to be alone anymore. “Because in the end...” A hopeful smile formed on Klaus’s face as he began yet another famous quote from Kerouac.

“You won’t remember the time you spent working in an office or mowing your lawn,” Y/N continued.

“Climb the damn mountain!”

***    ***    ***    ***    ***    ***

As weeks turned into months and months turned into years, Y/N and Klaus traveled across the country, hitching rides from farmers, truck drivers, and anyone who was still kind enough not to discourage the allure of being a vagabond.

Stories and poetry were the fuel they doused on the fires of their freedom, and always they found themselves immersed in the artistic and melodic talent of telling tales the other seemed to posses. Throughout their happiness and sincerest sense of freedom, they would occasionally find themselves seeking the comfort of one another. At night, often when the music, poetry, and stories had fallen asleep with their traveling companions--Klaus’s silver tongue and ability to fabricate realities out of small truths had accumulated quite a large following throughout their journey--their minds would drift. In these moments of perceived weakness, that they let their vulnerability shine through to one another.

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked upon noticing Klaus sitting before a fire beneath the stars of California.

“What’s in store for me in the direction I don’t take?” Klaus asked, once again mirroring the words of Kerouac to allow for the deeper meaning to seep into Y/N’s soul.

“It seems like what you have done, in starting an unorganized cult, is the most absurd thing that could have happened in all of the endless possibilities presented to you at every decision you’ve made.”

“But what about my family. What if they’re alive and they’re looking for me? I thought the love of the people I surrounded myself with, the like-mindedness of the commune, would be enough.” Y/N lowered to be beside Klaus as he stared up at the stars. Silently, the pair sat, feeling the heat of the fire against their faces, until Y/N leaned against Klaus’s side and he fell gently into the genuine human connection.

“Unlike Kerouac, I’m not a believer of Buddhism, but finding enlightenment is an important theme throughout his novels. Maybe the enlightenment you’ve found is that this life that you’ve found on the path that you’ve taken isn’t the one that you’re searching for,” Y/N’s wisdom rolled through Klaus’s mind as he fell backwards into the grass in frustration.

“I took this path in hopes of gaining happiness,” Klaus sighed angrily as he slammed his fists into the soil beside him. “I failed my family and I failed at this; this concept of letting go and accepting the endless possibilities before me!”

“You didn’t fail,” Y/N stated firmly in defiance of Klaus’s self-depreciating words. “Experience is the only thing that can teach you. If I were to give you only water and crackers all that time ago back at the diner, we wouldn’t be in California right now. If you chose a different diner to fall into, you would have never met me, and your life would be even more miserable,” Y/N joked and nudged Klaus’s arm in an attempt to invoke the smallest of smiles in his face. “If I would have ignored your idea of taking to the road as two dharma bums searching for a sign for where our lives were supposed to go, I’d probably still be wasting away as a server in that diner. Just because you got to the place we set our course for doesn’t mean you’re at the destination you need to be at. It took getting here with all of these people following us, following you, for you to realize where your passion and happiness lies.”

With a tear in each of his eyes, Klaus sat up and pulled Y/N close to him. As he felt Y/N’s arms fall around him, a reassuring sigh left his mouth and the tears of joy fell onto Y/N’s shoulder. Klaus tightened his grasp on his friend, and hesitantly spoke. “Thank you, Y/N. I know this distance is what you wanted and that the road was kinder to you than to me, but I have to go back to Dallas. I’ll miss you, but I’m grateful to have met you.” Slowly, Klaus rose from where he sat and blew a kiss to the person who had been at his side through it all. It was all he could do as he hid the pain of losing the first person who had shown him kindness three years ago.

“My path is with you. You’re my friend, Klaus, but more importantly, you’re my family now. If not for you, my life wouldn’t have changed. If not for me, yours could have gotten worse. Our paths were intertwined for a reason, and I’m not going to ignore that. When you need me, I’ll be there. That’s what family is for.”

Klaus smiled as Y/N strode to his side and the pair hurried off towards the van. The same thoughts and anxieties that flooded their minds when they left Dallas floated in their minds like a veil of mist that clouded their vision, but this time was slightly different. Sure they had many miles ahead of them, hardly any money to afford the trip back, were in dire need of sleep, and didn’t know the way back, but they knew where they were headed and why, and they had each other, and that was enough for now.

Tags:  @multifandom-ramblings, @bisexual-with-adhd, @ne0n-gh0st, @thehanwen @helena-way07 

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA SHOPS / MALL AU

(This is a weird ass mall just work with me here okay)

(Oh, and did I mention they’re all staying in the mall because they’re the last humans left after the zombie apocalypse?)

(BEWARE: mentions of abuse and harassment/assault, murder, death, annihilation, zombies, implied cannibalism but that kind of comes with the territory with zombies let's be honest, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Mechanics Shop) Luther came here after an accident left him deformed and lonely. He expects he’ll be there the rest of his life, having no other prospects to fall back on, and he actually thinks that might be alright, maybe. He likes fixing cars well enough and the donuts at Agnes’ are to die for, even if he has to pay for them with some bickering with Diego. He has a good routine - a good life. Until the zombies come to town and stay, and Allison the Fallen Angel Actress comes with them.

(Bakery) Diego took over the bakery when Agnes died. He’s been here since the first zombies came in, and sleeps around with Klaus almost every day, though they both deny feeling any sort of love for each other. (What fucking liars.) Diego wants to get the fuck out, to end it all if that’s what it takes, but his family keeps him here. And then Klaus storms off after one of their fights, and gets bitten, and Diego holds him in his arms as he fades, finally confessing that he loves him. Klaus looks at him with his wide green eyes one last time, whimpering Diego’s name, and Diego makes a split-second decision and kisses him on the mouth. And Klaus bites his lip.

(High-End Fashion) Allison was an actress who fell from grace about a week before the apocalypse. She came to stay with her brother Klaus and Ray, her childhood friend whom she’s almost laughably in love with, helped her get a job here. It’s just as well, since the zombies moved in three days later and they’ve been trapped here ever since.

(Vintage Shop) Klaus is happy to have Allison back in his life. He’s been stuck here in the mall in this weird vintage record/clothing/shoe/whatever store since he turned seventeen, hooked on drugs and going mad. He’s a brilliant inventor, but he can’t cure zombies. And he can’t cure a broken heart, which is what he’s got ever since Dave. And Diego - oh, Diego - Klaus loves him more than he thought it was possible to love another human being, and Diego - Diego - Diego is gonna leave him to save the goddamn world. Fuck, Klaus needs a drink.

(Comic Book Store) Five hates people, but he hates them even more when they’re dead. He’s crazy okay, he knows that - his best friend Dolores died in the first wave and he’s been pretending this mannequin he stole is her ever since. He buries himself in his comic books to distract himself from the doomsday sure to come soon enough, and finds solace in his family’s company - mostly Ben and Diego and Klaus. When Diego and Klaus are turned, Five is the one who has to burn their bodies… and that’s what makes him do it, really. End the world.

(Library) Ben has been researching zombies since long before they were real. One of them tried to bite him, but he dodged them, though only by leaping too close to a grenade. As he was dying from the gashes in his chest filled with shrapnel, Klaus found him and dragged him to safety inside the mall. They’d never met before that day, but now they’re partners, especially as it was one of Klaus’ wacky inventions that did and continues to save Ben’s life, implanted in his chest and keeping his lungs from being impaled by the shrapnel. Ben will always carry, both figuratively and literally, a piece of Klaus in his heart.

(Musical Shop) Vanya mostly stays in her music shop, playing violin by herself. Klaus likes to tweak all the other instruments so they play by themselves like ghosts. Vanya doesn’t let herself get bitten - but Leonard tried. And she made him pay. She spends her days with Sissy, trying to cheer up the beautiful woman she fell in love with when she first moved here… but Sissy is a shell of herself, sad and lost and lonely, and there’s nothing Vanya can do to change that, no matter how hard she tries. And she tries. So. Goddamn. Hard.

(Tech Store) Ray is just trying to get the wifi working again. He reads as many books as he can, mostly on civil rights movements and survivalist theory, but there’s not much time. If they want to send out a signal for help, someone has to brave the outside and reattach the antenna. And Ray knows, has always known, that that’s gonna be him.

(Martial Arts Studio) Lila used to be a martial arts teacher before all this shit went down. She watched her studio and students get ripped to shreds by zombies, and she could save nobody. She made it to the mall by pure luck, and is decorated in scars from scratches and attempted bites. She still practices her craft every day, training to break them out to somewhere safer. But the longer she spends here, the more she knows they’ll never make it - they’re all going to die for each other, in the end. And die for each other they do.

(Record Shop) Eudora used to be a cop. She’s always been on the side that’s moral, righteous, and good. So what’s she supposed to do now that she has to steal and kill to survive? (Make Diego do it for her, that’s how.) She’s bunkered down in the record store, blasting music throughout the mall randomly every day. She’s found out classical lulls the zombies to sleep and metal sends them running. But they always return, more feral than before. She falls so deeply in love with Lila she’s terrified to act on it, but in the end it doesn’t matter - Lila is bitten, and Eudora’s the one who has to burn her down.

(Cooking Store) Sissy is anxious and paranoid, having lost her son Harlan in the first wave of zombies. He ate her husband - not that she cared. He was a dick. But - but - her son. She drifts along like a ghost now, without him. Vanya loves her, and holds her, and takes care of her, but there’s just nothing that can be done. When the zombies finally get in, Sissy just bares her neck and gives in.

(Baby Boutique) Grace is a brilliant inventor and healer who taught Klaus everything he knows. She’s responsible for the shields and fences that keep the zombies out of the mall, and is working towards a cure for the zombie infection. Hopefully one she can dump out on the masses. She dies fighting off the zombies long enough for Ray to fix the antennae, feeling humanity slip out of her as she stares at the sun and moon, eclipsing in the distance. She figures a blind zombie is better than another seeing one.

(Evil CEO) Reginald invented the zombie serum, and he’s not sorry. It’s just a spot of fun that… got out of control, he guesses. He just had some people he needed to get rid of, and this way everyone would be focusing more on the oh-my-god-real-life-zombies part than the hold-up-were-they-murdered part. But then Ben figures it out. Reginald’s stupid, annoying, nerdy son figures it out. And what was Reginald to do? Just let him live? His Klaus-touched heart sits in Reginald’s bloody hand, and Reginald grins and shoves it in his mouth whole.

(Wedding Boutique) The Handler is that crazy bitch who wears wedding dresses every day. She always looks a bit sick, but she also always wears crazy make-up, so they just brush it off. Until one day Five catches her changing and sees the prominent bite marks all over her, proving she’s been bitten nearly six times over. She turns around and looks at him, sneers, and opens her gaping maw when he grabs a nearby candelabra and sets her hair on fire.

(Sports Store) Hazel and Cha-Cha are partners who have been here since the beginning of the apocalypse. Hazel used to be a girls’ soccer coach and Cha-Cha ran the boys’ football team at the same high school, but that’s all over now. Hazel’s been fucked up since Agnes died (only of natural causes. Ha!) and Cha-Cha’s seen her zombie walking around since then. She makes it her mission to shoot it down before Hazel sees it, and manages - but the two of them still go out in a blaze of glory together, sacrificing themselves to take out a horde of the undead just days before the mall falls.

(Woodworking Shop) Leonard got bitten in the third wave, just before entering the mall. He made it a week before they found out. He tried to bite Vanya and she pitched him over the side of the terrace. They use the logs from his wood shop to kill zombies who get too close, setting them on fire and hurling them into the masses.

(Thrift Shop) Dave was travelling with Klaus, the two of them rather involved, and got bitten just before he and Klaus made it to safety. Klaus had to kill him and has been depressed about it ever since, setting Dave’s body to rest in the thrift shop where Klaus does all his experiments. Five and Grace use the body as a test subject, but Klaus doesn’t need to know that. When he figures out how to make a zombie-killing nuke, he lays the button down with Dave, hoping they’ll never have to use it since it will most certainly destroy the world along with all the zombies. The last human left alive runs from the zombies towards the button. He presses it. The zombies close in, Five shuts his eyes, and the planet explodes into nothing.

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Broken arm

A/N: This was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy! please let me know what you think! Also this is like my worst fear, like that sounds dumb but breaking something sounds absolutely disgusting to me. In movies if they do like sound effects of bones breaking and I know it’s coming, I mute the sound. 

summary:  i was wondering if you could write a reddie x daughter where the losers club all go out and the daughter gets hurt (maybe breaks an arm) so they all freak out and take her to the hospital, and it’s just rlly cute at the end. i just feel like i could image richie and eddie just freaking out abt what to do and not actually doing anything so the rest of the losers have to step in

warnings: mentions of a broken arm and surgories (not graphic), mentions of throwing up (but also not graphic) and some curse words and your mom joke

At least once a month, all the losers have a reunion that usually either takes place in Ben and Bev’s lake house, or in their boat. The reason it does, is because Ben and Bev combined have enough money to restore any damages that may or may not occur during these times, more often than not Richie fault.

This time however, by some unlucky draw of the hat, everyone agrees to meet up in Richie and Eddie’s home, because their daughter Alexa isn’t feeling too great, and Richie not Eddie felt comfortable relocating with her for a few days.

She had nothing major, just a stomach bug that causes her to throw up from time to time, but Both Eddie and Richie were more than ready to postponed the losers’ meeting. Alexa insisted that all the plans continued on as normal despite her feeling unwell, since she loved spending time with her uncles and aunt any time she could, and when she showed signs of her health improving, nobody cancelled anything.

With the first knock on the door, Alexa jumps up, rushing to welcome whoever has made it to their house first, ignoring how her stomach was protesting the flash movement, and she’s greeted by the sight of her best-loved aunt, which happened to be Aunty Bev. Six months into the pregnancy made Bev look bloated and tired, but her eyes lit up as soon as Alexa opened the door, bending down as best as she could to hug her back twice as hard. She’s alone, Ben had had a meeting over in Portland, and agreed to meet Bev here.

‘How’s my favorite girl doing?’ Bev asks with a huge smile on her face, her hand resting on the top of her belly softly rubbing up and down.

‘I’m okay’, Alexa insists, even though her face still looks a little pale. Eddie, who had joined the two of them at the front door, rolled his eyes begrudgingly. Insisting that she’s fine even though she isn’t must be a trait she picked up from Richie.

Staying silent however, he brings Bev into an embrace, an; ‘hey Bev’ falling from his lips in the process.

‘Richie’s out back, come in, I’ll go get him.’ Before Eddie has the chance, the next guests arrive, in the form of Patty and Stan. Stan was holding a stuffed animal, a bunny in his hands, smirking as if he already knew that he was going to be the ‘chosen’ one today.

Eddie laughs out loud, watching as his daughter’s eyes grow bigger and wide, and she excitedly begins the bounce up and down, seemingly forgetting about the sickness for a little while. In his mind, Eddie is already praising Stan, for the few moments of rest this allows his daughter to have. Sleep is nothing something that has come in large doses to her in the last two days, every single waking minute of the day being consumed with sitting next to a toilet bowl, and brushing her teeth afterwards.

Eddie also praises Stan for basically knocking down the competition before the rest of them even have a chance.

At two years old, Alexa figured out how to play her family like the harp she later maintained she wanted to practice, giving up after only two lessons. She used to go around the room and beg her uncles and aunt to play a game with her, any kind, and when they relented, the first person who did would be her go to person for the rest of the evening.

Endearing everyone’s heart, but also resulting in a rivalry, where many presents were tossed around, and Alexa was in danger of becoming a bit spoiled. Now at twelve, she’s stopped crowning anyone as her winner, yet the losers still  arranges bets on her, as if their daughter is something to bet on.

It’s all in good fun of course, and Richie himself joins in on the gamble from time to time, but for whatever reason he never guesses correctly, but Eddie has a burning suspicion it has something to do with manipulating Stan to lose. Not that his schemes work, Stan is much too smart for that.

In rapid succession, Ben follows Stan and Patty, and after him Mike emerges, and finally Bill and Audra appear from the end of the streets. A loud and ugly snort forces its way out of Eddie, when he sees the exact some bear clutched to Bill’s chests, the annoying, cocky smirk on his face he mirrored from Stan, the same one that vanishes as soon as he steps through the door, and lays his eyes upon Alexa, clasping Stan’s gift.

Richie, who had since joined the rest of the group, could not contain his laughter, finding in Bill the perfect victim to tease throughout the entire night.

Rice and chicken were on the menu tonight, a light meal that was decided in light of Alexa, but nobody complained. Despite popular belief, Richie was a very good cook, and when he prepared any meal, it was guaranteed that it would taste delicious.

Alexa ate a bit, more than she had eaten in the last few days, and Eddie sighed a breath of relief.  Years of conditioning that any sickness was going to get him killed did not disappear off the bat, so he was immensely glad his daughter was starting to feel better, even if he knew her ailment was not that serious to begin with.

After dinner, the group resides to the living room, watching a movie that Alexa had her mind set on viewing, and secretive adult talk concealed in a child appropriate package so she wouldn’t notice, making a way across each other. A normal reunion like any other.

At nine pm, unsurprisingly, Alexa got up from her seat. ‘I’m going to bed dad,’ she explains, her hand stroking Bev’s baby bump one last time, and then waving at everyone. The spot next to Beverly, the one that Alexa had claimed, so she could discuss her new best friend as she lovingly called the new baby that was yet to be burn, remains achingly open. A weird feeling creeps up the back of Eddie’s neck, ridiculously.

The losers club just doesn’t seem complete without her, even if she has only been there for twelve years. Her bedtime was around eight, but when they go on a trip, she is allowed to stay up as long she want, the fact that she turns in for the night so early, is a testimony to how bad she suffers.  

Richie started to make his way up from the sofa too, ready to tuck her in, as he did every night, but she shook her head. ‘I can go to bed alone, Pops, don’t worry.’

She gave him a kiss on his cheek, and then scampered off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Bill chocked on his drink in laughter when he saw the fallen look on Richie’s face, disappointment coating his expressions in a grey attire.

When he dejectedly resumed his place next to Eddie, the latter patted him on the arm in sympathy. ‘It’s just because there are others here Rich. You know how ashamed she gets of you.’ The smirk cannot be contained when the words leave his mouth, even though he means nothing but lies with them.

‘And they say my jokes suck? Spaghetti, come up with new and innovated humor, like mine. Thank god she’s got some of my qualities-‘

‘she’s adopted.’

‘- don’t interrupt me Eds that’s just bad manners. I’m so sorry your mom was to busy teaching me the way around her body to teach you how to be polite but-‘

‘Beep beep asshole.’ A murmur of agreement rose up from the group, Richie flipping them the bird.

‘Whatever, you losers have no taste at all.’

Deciding to check up on her after about fifteen minutes, Eddie settles back in his seat, joining in on the conversation to his right, where Ben and Stan discuss the different plants they have in their garden, listing a bunch of flowers Eddie will never know the meaning off.  

The movie clutters on in the background, almost like a lullaby, and Eddie yawns significantly. Richie’s hand presses in the small of his back, a grounding warm signal that he was safe, even though he doesn’t mean too, he zones out, not asleep, but also not as awake as he should be.

That happens to be a mistake when he hears something slam on the floor above them, the sound of the toilet being flushed a second after. He makes eye contact with Richie, both of them realizing that that is probably the result of Alexa throwing up again.

‘Dad, Pops’, and then a loud bang, proceeded by a few thuds that can be relocated to their stairs, and a pained yell.

Richie and Eddie scramble up faster than they have ever done before, even more hurried than when Pennywise was chasing them in Neibolt. Stan, Bill and Bev scurry alongside them, to the place of the accident, every single one of them in a panicked haze.

It only takes a second to get there, in their haste, and no other sounds emerge anymore, until They run into the hallway.

Alexa is spread out across the bottom of the stairs, her arm bend in a weird position, her legs propped up as she looks around the space dazedly, as if she’s not sure what just happened.

Her faces goes through a couple of emotions, intensifying when she takes a look at her arm, but not yet crying.

Eddie is the first to reach her, and when she sees him, her lips open slightly and a wail falls out. It proves to him that she is in real, and agonizing pain. Back when she learned how to ride her bike for the first time, she had fallen many times, as kids do, but if she cried, Eddie refused to indulge her. He wouldn’t let leave or abandon her, but he would tell her that everything was fine, and that it only stung a little, and there was no need to cry.

He mostly did this to stop himself from becoming like his mother, and to allow Alexa to discover her own boundaries and which one hurt enough to actually ask help for. He never shamed her for crying either, he just tried to teach her the difference between actual pain, and being shocked from a fall.  Ever since, is she saw Eddie walk towards her, her tears stopped if it barely stung, or begin to cry if help was needed.

Now she sobs, heavy and with snot, hiccuping to catch her breaths. It only takes a look to tell Eddie everything he needs to know, she is suffering from an open fracture. The bone is not stuck outside the skin, but the bump is visible from the outside, in the same way that his bone was when he broke his arm.

All previous training flies out the window when it’s his daughter that is the one who is harmed, nothing of the medical terms he surrounded himself with in his childhood sticking, like liquid dropping from his head.

He stands there, blankly as he gazes upon his daughters still laying form, until he gets pushed back by Bill. Richie too stands frozen, trembling from head to toe, but Bev and Stan launch into action, dropping down next to Alexa, each on opposites sides.

‘What do we do, what do we do?’ Richie inquires frantically, pushing against Bills hands, to get to her, trusting Eddie for guidement. Eddie subconsciously reaches for his inhaler, and curses once he remembers that he threw his placebo away.

‘Fuck, fuck, Eddie should we snap the bone back in? It worked last time right?’ Richie reflects Eddie’s frantic, ignoring Bill’s pleas to calm down, the cries of Alexa deafening their ears, and making their heartstrings cave in.

‘What? What the fuck asshole no. That was a terrible thing to do, and you were lucky that my arm got back to normal, are you fucking kidding me you absolute moron?’

He doesn’t mean to snap at his husband the way he does, but the mantra of; this is your fault, she’s going to die, get her to a hospital now, more careful, you should force her to be more safe, in a voice that sounds an awful lot likes his mother hisses in his mind. The panic is very nearly all consuming.

‘What the fuck was I supposed to do then huh Eds? I was fucking twelve.’ Their panic-stricken words grow louder and louder, until even Alexa’s cries of agony sound quieter than theirs, they’re so consumed with worry, being oblivious to notice what Beverly and Stan are so desperately trying to convey.

‘I don’t know, not that. And you’re 43 years old, by now you should now better dickwad.’

‘Stop it’, Bill yells in the same determined leader voice that lured them into the house on Neibolt street, effectively silencing them and focusing their attention on him.

‘Your daughter needs you right now, so shut up, and do what we ask you too okay. Richie get her cloths, Eddie retrieve anything she has that helps calm her down. Alright? Okay go.’

Richie hurries to get the car as fast he can, but Eddie hesitates when he gapes at Alexa. He doesn’t want to leave her without her parents. ‘Hey’, Bill places on of his hands on Eddie shoulder, ‘we’ll take care of her for a minute okay?’

Her cries have turned into loud whimpers, her face hidden behind Stan’s body, which stops her from seeing Eddie anyway. Bev is calmly shushing her, on the phone with what must be the hospital, carefully checking her arm. Stan is trying to distract her, his cardigan being discarded towards Bev, who uses is to carefully cover the injured arm.

It looks painful, and Eddie can’t stand to think of her in pain, so he too complies with Bill’s demands, searching for the plush toy she got as a gift, and her soft blanket that she sleeps with during the winter.

When he comes back, he hears the blaring sirens of the ambulance stop outside their door, and his stomach falls when he realizes that a few hours ago, Alexa was standing in that exact spot, excited for the night.

Audra and Patty lead the paramedics into the home, apparently they had been waiting outside to help, Patty grabbing Eddie’s arm to steady herself, and maybe even Eddie, who is swaying dangerously from side to side.

He’s been through all of this before, in a way, but that seemed somehow less scary than it is now. Back then, Eddie had been glad none of his friends got hurt, so it didn’t matter that he did. Now, it’s different, but if he could somehow switch places with Alexa, he would do so in a heartbeat.

They insert an IV line and administer pain relief, Eddie assumes, since his ears seem like they’ve been stuffed full of cotton. He vaguely registers Richie’s hand in his own, all his attention pointed to watching Alexa’s face for any discomfort.

She’s placed upon a trauma board, Stan and Ben aiding to help her jolts as minimal as possible, before they carry her to the ambulance as fast as humanly possible. Eddie hopes to god, something he hasn’t believed in since he started dating Richie, that the medicine she has received knock her out, just so she’s painless the rest of the ride.

‘Dad, pops’, she wails, extending her uninjured arm to reach for the both of them. Next to him, Richie cries too.

Eddie speed walks to be by her side, grabbing her hand and pressing a kiss to it. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart, you’re going to be fine.’ He can’t help the way his voice cracks as he tries to keep his own tears at bay.

Richie also hast himself to get to her, brushing away her tears as best he can, but new ones continue to leave wet rivers on her cheeks.

After consideration, Eddie says to Richie; ‘You need to go with her,’ his words lacking any really conviction.

Richie gazes up to him in surprise. ‘Eddie?’

‘I can’t be in there, in a hospital or ambulance, but I would feel so much better if you were with her.’ The trauma lingers around Eddie like a bad stench, and he hates himself for the fact that he can’t be with his daughter. He knows Richie will keep her safe though, so if he were to go with her, maybe the grip guilt has on him will loosen.

Richie says nothing and stares for just a split second, before one of the EMT’s says they need to hurry. Then he nods, climbing on board with Alexa, but pressing his lips against Eddie’s quickly before his does.

He’s trying to convey Eddie into believing everything will be okay, but Richie isn’t sure if he believes it himself.

They have to leave then, and Eddie stares as the ambulance disappears into the distance. When he can’t see it no longer, he allows himself five seconds, and he uses those five seconds to cry upon Mike’s sturdy statues the waterfalls flowing from his eyes like they’re a rives. He can sense the others coming closer, each laying a hand on a part of his body, their silent way of telling him they’re here for them.

He feels bad for making Richie having to be the one to hold it all together, since he can’t break down in front of Alexa, but Eddie honestly didn’t have any resolution left to sit in an ambulance.

When his five seconds are up, he begs someone to drive him to the hospital, ignoring his next door neighbor who comes to check up on the commotion that was happening.

He ends up driving with Stan and Patty, in the middle backseat, where he can feel their worried gazes on him. In his mind, he is trying to recall any information about what he had to go through with his arm, but all he really remembers is that he had to have surgery.

As predicted, that is the first thing Richie tells Eddie when he finally gets to the emergency room, Richie waiting near the entrance, his hands trembling when he reaches forward to pull Eddie against him in a tight hug.

‘She needs to have surgery Eds, you have to come quick. They’re about to put her under.’ Richie informs him when he pulls back, this time reaching for his hands and pulling him in the direction of the room Alexa is in. Eddie wants to say something to his friends, but he’s already whisked away, and he just figures he’ll tell them later.

Upon entering the room, Eddie can smell the disinfected in the room, the whole room is drenched in it, but he refuses to let it deter him, so he pulls through, pulling a chair to the side of the hospital bed, resting his hand on Alexa’s shoulder. Richie goes for her hand on her good arm, his thumb sweeping the back of her hand back and forth.

‘hey, honey, how are you?’

Alexa lets her head fall sideways, her eyes dropped with exhaustion, she hasn’t received any anesthetic, so Eddie assumes that it’s the adrenaline that has worked off.

‘I’m scared dad,’ she tells him truthfully, squeezing Richie’s hand tight while not looking him in the eyes.

‘It’s okay to be scared baby,’ Eddie soothes her, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead. ‘I had to same thing happen to me when I was little.’

Her lips tug upwards in a faint smile. ‘I know, pops told me.’

‘It wasn’t that scary anymore. Not when getting into the hospital. I just fell right asleep, and when I woke up, the pain was dulled.’

‘I’m not in so much pain right now though, can I not avoid the surgery?’ Eddie’s heart breaks once again, and he wishes so bad he could heed his daughter from this, but it has to happen, there’s no other option.

‘That’s cause you’re on a lot op pain medication kiddo, but as soon as they’re worn off, you’ll feel it again.’  Richie heavily admits, the lines on his face have turned more prominent, the night taking ten years of their lives away from them.

‘Like I said, you’ll just go to sleep, and when you wake up, we’ll be here.’ Eddie tries to convince her one last time, and with a heaved sigh, she relents.

Just in time, for the nurse sticks her head through the door, her smile apologetic.

‘Alexa Tozier-Kaspbrak? I’m sorry, but we really have to get her upstairs now.

‘You’ll be fine bucko, We won’t be fare okay?’

‘And remember we love you okay?’

‘I know dad, Pops, I love you too.’

When they wheel Alexa away in her hospital bag, the other losers wave at her from behind the glass door, sticking their thumbs up in good luck, while Alexa waves at them as best she can.

‘She’ll be okay’, Richie insists as he pulls Eddie close to him by the waist, pressing his nose in his hair to comfort himself.

‘I really hope so Rich, I’m scared.’

‘Don’t be Eds, she’s your kid, she’s so strong, this is just a minor setback. I love okay, we’ll get through this together.’

‘I love you too.’

Later, when Alexa is back in her room, falling asleep on her own this time, and Eddie watches Richie’s lanky from twist in half to rest his head on the bed, the rest of his body in an uncomfortable hospital chair just to be close to their daughter, he thanks whoever is listening that he got this family; He would never trade them for anything in the world.

He’s mumbling to the both of them, a stupid story about Richie and his childhood, because Alexa had once told him she slept best with some background noise. Twirling the same piece of hair over and over again, he presses another kiss to her head, thankful that’s okay. 

He nearly thinks of his mother, and how much he would have loved to see her face if she ever saw him like this. Gay, married, with a child and in a hospital. But then he banishes her to the back of his mind. She is not worth any ounce of his thoughts. 

 Alexa shifts in her sleep, relaxing into the movements, and Eddie can’t do anything but mumble out in pure adoration; ‘I promise, I’ll never be like my mom, I love you and your pops too much for that.’ 

[supernaturalee]

Green and Gold: Part 2 - Gwilym Lee x Reader

Pairings: Widow/Single Father! Gwilym Lee x Reader

Warnings: Some swearing, Mentions of X rated thoughts, and more KAREN

Word Count: 4.4k

Previous Parts: One

Summary: When Gwilym lost his wife two years ago he feared raising his daughter alone in a small coastal New Jersey town would be difficult. In the two years since her death, Gwil and Brianne are finally ready to start moving on. Following the words of a child psychologist, Gwil signs Bri up for cheerleading with the local youth squad, something Gwil knows nothing about. As he is thrust in the world of cheer bows and back handsprings, he will learn it takes a lot more than green and gold uniforms to mend his and his daughter’s hearts. Hopefully through the squad they will find strength, friendship, and possibly a spark of new love for the widow himself.  

Taglist:@the-baby-bookworm​ @ixchel-9275​ @slutforbritdick​ @kurt-nightcrawler​ @radio-hoo-ha​ @imgonnabeyourslave​ @queendeakyy​ @girllety​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @what-wicked-delights​ @drivenbybri​

Author’s Note: It’s almost 2 am EST and I thought to myself, why not post part two. We are getting into meat of the story here, y’all! Again, this update is late, but my writing was hard to come by for a while. So without further ado, he is part 2 of Green & Gold. Please let me know if you want to be tagged in future installments. 

In the four short weeks since Brianne had started cheerleading practice, Gwilym had come to learn three absolute truths. First being that cheer made Bri happier than Gwil had ever hoped. In the time since that first practice, he had seen her smile more than he had seen since before Angela had passed away. Her eyes lit up now whenever she spoke about how the routine was coming along or how she was learning all of these different things. Such as stunts or new tumbling passages or jumps that had odd names like toe touches, herkies, and pikes. While Gwilym cooked dinner or checked over her homework, he could always hear her routine music coming from the stereo in the living room. Once he got her to wash her hands and then settled at the table. It would become Gwilym’s inquiry into the world of cheerleading and Brianne was more than happy to oblige his many questions. 

Bri had taken to cheering like a fish takes to water. It was in her blood, Angela’s cheerleading history flowing through Brianne’s veins now. It made Gwil so happy. She spent three nights a week on the mat now and Saturday during the day at either the home field or away fields cheering on the young football players. The football team’s age coincided with the cheerleaders of Bri's team’s ages. Or the Mustang Pee Wees as Gwil had learned. He had finally found out the difference between the game cheers and the competition cheer as Bri had once told him. He usually sat in the game bleachers trying to decipher how American football was more popular than actual football. Or as Y/N lovingly reminded him every time he complained, “It’s soccer here.” she would say with a smile. At first he thought it was kind of annoying but now anytime she reminded him, he found it endearing. The way her lips curled up in a smile as she said it, he found himself mesmerized by it. 

When Brianne wasn’t cheering and once her homework was done, she could be found hanging out with her new friends Jasmine, Joey, and Selma. The carpool Y/N had promised had been fruitful for Brianne and Gwilym on the friendship front. They had been the type of cheer parents Gwilym had hoped for and luckily he got in with them instead of the others. That was the second absolute truth he learned that, cheer parents were absolutely bonkers bananas insane. Karen Diguimi was just the tip of the massive iceberg that was the “Stepford Stangs” as Joe lovingly coined them. Gwil had now become a member of the mailing list. A dreaded place to be that he wouldn’t have agreed to had he known what a nightmare it truly was. 

He had now started to receive daily emails with updates on fundraising and how close they were to the nice buses. Game schedules, rule changes, and low fat recipes to keep your little cheerleader in proper cheering shape were among the other important articles. Plus little snide comments on the surrounding towns’ teams and how far superior the Mustangs were to them. It was like a tabloid magazine that Gwil now had a daily subscription too.

 Y/N had sent him a long paragraph text about the low carb recipes and how dare the “Stepford Stangs” imply that only certain shaped children could be cheerleaders. ‘It is the middle of October and they are nine and ten years old. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SWIMSUIT READY?! Gwil, you will have to stop me from strangling Karen at the next practice.’ It made Gwilym feel a swell of pride for a moment that he read her text. It caused the return of a certain set of emotions. These feelings that he was feeling were something he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Often he would check over the email for that week’s game schedule then file the email away. His new gang of misfit parents would mock the over ridiculous links in the emails or the fact that they received a new one every day. Joe always sent a meme or two about them, while Rami commented on the complete lack of email etiquette. ‘It’s too many emails and too many people hit Reply All instead of reply. It is chaotic!’ Rami had sent in their group chat. ‘I think its nice to keep us informed with the same information that we knew yesterday.’ Lucy had added. Gwil finally being able to put a face to the name as he met Rami’s other half at the first football game of the year. She was blonde, slim, and in a way almost fairy like. Her movements were graceful but she had this hidden strength to her. Rami and Lucy complimented each other well. Rami was a computer engineer, who like Gwil, could do most of his work from home. Lucy, on the other hand, was a certified midwife and a nurse at the local OBGYN. Often traveling between the hospital and the doctor office. Their schedules mostly allow for their twin girls’ busy sports schedules to work. Joe ran an accounting firm but swore he was bad at math. He stated he liked the business but preferred leaving the accounting to his dedicated small team of accountants.

Finally, the third absolute truth that Gwilym Lee knew was that Wednesday nights were now his favorite night of the week. It was the only night parents were allowed to stay for the whole practice. This meant about two hours of watching Bri have the most fun and grow into an even stronger, more beautiful young woman. It also meant getting to spend time with his new friends including Y/N.  Y/N had quickly become Gwil’s confidant in all things cheer related. Any question or need he had, she had the answer and was always there with a smile. It was just another reason why Gwil was now harboring a crush on this woman. He and Bri had not seen her coming. He thought he would scrap by with googled information and keep his head down. He would be quiet and lonely,  knowing just enough to get by. 

Yet there was Y/N with her intelligence, her helping hand, and her kind heart. Bri also loved her and Jasmine. She was treated with so much love, respect, and care by Y/N. Gwil found it hard to keep himself from melting every time he was in her gaze. He felt like a teenage boy with a crush. He had confided in Ben who told him to get back on the horse. However, to Gwil, the horse was a twenty foot tall bear that was very hungry. Angela was still on his mind, in his life, in his heart. He saw her every day in the brown eyes of his daughter. He feared that any new relationship he would start would be doomed to be branded as the rebound relationship for the man with the dead wife. Even if he found someone, they had to pass the most important test in his book, being well loved by the most important person in his life, Brianne. He shook away the heavy thoughts as the red light turned green. He pressed his foot on the gas as he continued the drive to practice. Bri and Jasmine chatting in the back of his car. 

Y/N had asked him to pick Jasmine up from school and drive her to practice. Y/N had a meeting with the college board about one of her students. She would meet them at the cheer gym later. Gwil’s mind couldn’t help but wander to Y/N. He hoped her meeting went well. He knew in just the short few weeks of knowing her that her job meant a tremendous amount to her. Professor Y/L/N had a very nice ring to it. His mind wandering further to dirtier thoughts. If they were ever to be together would she let him play the teacher's pet. His fantasy slowly took form in his head when Bri’s voice snapped him back to reality. 

“Dad?” No answer came from the driver’s seat. “Earth to dad. Father?” She laughed. Gwil pushed all X rated thoughts from his mind and looked to the rear view. 

“Hmm?” He answered, putting on a small smile to show her that he has really been paying attention the whole time. 

“Could Jasmine and Ms. Y/L/N come to dinner with us?” Bri asked sweetly. The two had joined them for dinner every Wednesday night since that first practice. 

“Please Mr. Lee!” Jasmine used the same sweet voice. Gwil rubbed his jaw with his free hand as the two girls started repeating the world please. 

“Please please please please please please please please please please please please please!” Bri and Jasmine begged together. Gwilym laughed, smiling. 

“It is fine with me but we will have to ask your aunt, Jasmine, when we see her.” He said.  Both girls cheered happily as they looked at each other. 

“Of course Mr. Lee!” Jasmine smiled. “Aunt Y/N likes getting dinner with you and Bri.” Jasmine said. Gwil felt his cheeks heat up for a moment. This came as a surprise to him in a way. Sure he knew she cared about their friendship but maybe this meant she also felt something more for him. He quickly pushed this thought away, no it wasn’t a good time for him to get into a new relationship. I’m not ready. His thoughts continued his mantra. 

“Well we like having dinner with both of you as well, dear.” He answered her. Jasmine’s smile grew. She was a wonderful little girl who Gwilym had grown to care for. She didn’t know what she was doing for Brianne, but Gwil did and how it helped her improve immensely. He had known his daughter had tried to hide her sadness from him. It was something she tried to do to prove she was strong like Angela but she didn’t need to. Gwil and her grandparents knew that Brianne had every ounce of Angela’s strength tenfold. 

As he pulled into the parking lot of the cheer gym he saw Y/N’s Jeep had not yet arrived. He also didn’t see Joe’s or Rami’s cars either which meant he would be alone. He would most likely have to face yet another conversation with Karen. Or he could just hide out in his car until his friends arrived. He shook his head for a moment, he had to go inside, he could handle this. As both young girls made their way inside, Gwil followed behind them making sure both safely got in the building. 

He signed both in at the desk where the young man who Gwil had learned was one of the coaches’ sons sat. He gave the teenaged boy a wave before moving to his usual spot in the bleachers. He had settled into the groove of sitting with everyone, Gwil sat on a lower bench due to his height, while Y/N sat on the bleacher bench above him so she could make eye contact easier. Rami would sit above her and then Joe would sit beside her, the four almost making a little diamond of security. His blue eyes looked around the room before he spotted her. 

Karen was talking to some of the other team parents, her eyes scanning the room for him. He dropped his head down trying to hide himself from her.

“Oh Gwilym!” She exclaimed, moving to him. Gwil sat up straight, damn he had been caught. He politely smiled and nodded. Please don’t come over, please don’t come over, please don’t come over… He repeated in his head, it was too little too late. She made her way over to his place of peace and quiet. 

“Hello Mrs. Digumi.” He said politely. Her smile grew. Damn, his British charm. She stood in front of him. 

“Please call me Karen.” She smiled still. “I wanted to ask how everything was going with Brianne. She is quite the little cheerleader. One of the best on the squad. Almost as good as my little McKenna.” 

“Thank you. I will tell her that later. She certainly seems to be enjoying it and that makes me happy.” He said honestly, maybe he was wrong about Karen. 

“You should have her over for a play date with my McKenna. You and I can exchange parenting tips or tips of some other kind.” She batted her heavily mascaraed eyes at him. He gulped softly. 

“I will have to talk to Bri about it and get back to you Mrs. Dig-Karen.” He corrected himself. 

“I am just saying Brianne seems like a very sweet girl and you don’t want her to get in with the wrong crowd before middle school. Popularity is key and my little McKenna is going to be one of the most popular girls in school. Just like I was. If Brianne settles herself with the likes of those children, her social life is over and I don’t want that for her or for you. Popularity is everything.” She said as she sat next to him. No, he wasn’t wrong about Karen.

Wrong crowd? What the hell, they are children not teenagers. He thought to himself before defending the children of his friends. Popularity is everything. What a bunch of bullocks. 

“Jasmine, Joey, and Selma are good kids. They are smart, fun, courteous, kind and they are Bri’s friends. They were the first ones to welcome her with open arms,” He said. Gwil was a bit taken aback that a grown woman would say something like that about ten year olds. If Bri and Jasmine weren’t on the mat about 50 feet away, he would have forgotten his manners and let Karen have it. 

“I don’t appreciate you talking that way about my friends’ children or about your child’s fellow teammates.”   He continued, his tone was serious and sharp. Her eyes went wide as she heard the manner in which he spoke. 

“Oh! I didn’t mean the kids! I meant, um, the parents.” She was quick to backtrack and try to fix her mistake. Her chance with the Welsh man slipping away. “Gwilly, you are new to all of this. I should have specified that I meant that if Brianne settles herself with the likes of the parents of those children, her social life is over. You both deserve so much but you are still so naive, honey.” 

“My name is Gwilym.” He stated. She had called him Gwilly, a nickname that Angela would lovingly call him after a few glasses of wine. How dare this woman even try to put herself in the same realm of love as his wife. 

“I am so sorry honey.” She smiled to try to cover up the large hole she had dug for herself. “Like I was saying to you that first practice those parents you have chosen to bond with don’t understand the mustang way.” It was clear to Gwilym that Karen intended to keep digging. “Especially Y/N, I mean she likes to pretend she was a good cheerleader because she was once a national champion herself. But she was the worst one of that team, I should know, I did date her brother.” Karen said as jealousy slipped between each word. It was clear to her that Gwilym cared more for Y/N than he would ever care for her. “They carried her to the gold medal and she got the recognition for it like everyone else. Even made her brother break up with me, how dare she. That bitch.” That was the final straw for him.  

“I am going to stop you right there, Mrs. Diguimi. I do not want to hear you ever bad mouth my friends or their children. Please understand I am friendly with you because I have to be. You are the team mom and I do not really like having issues with anyone. However, my daughter is the only reason I am here. Y/N, Joe, Lucy and Rami plus their amazing children came as an incredible bonus to all of this. You did not.” He said calmly. “Now please step away from me and know, this is the last conversation we will have that is not about fundraising or cheering information. I do not take kindly to people belittling others or their children for their own personal benefit. Thank you and have a good night.” 

Karen let out a breath of air through her nose, standing up quickly. Moving from the bleachers, staring him down. 

“Oh I understand.” Her voice dripped with sweetly sickening venom. “If you ever change your mind I am right over there with the good parents.” She moved to the other waiting ‘Stepford Stangs’. Gwil let out a long breath as a smile appeared on his lips. God, how good it felt to let her have it and god how he wished Y/N had seen him. She would be so proud once he told her. It was the sudden sound of two voices that drew him away from his fantasy. 

“I see you are on the list now.” Rami said as he and Joe joined Gwilym in the bleachers. 

“List?” He asked, tilting his head curiously. 

“I’ll let Joe explain.” Rami smiled. 

“It is Karen Diguimi’s way of saying you are cancelled until you apologize.” Joe smirked. “We just caught the tail end of what you were saying but from what we heard, it was fucking brilliant.” He said quietly enough for just the three men to hear. “Welcome to the list. I have been on it since the ‘I won’t let my underage child wash stranger’s cars in the shortest shorts debacle of last summer season.” Joe said. 

“Rami, how did you end up on the list? It seems like she likes you the most out of all of us.” Gwil asked. Rami chuckled. 

“I once asked her if the pom poms for adults were necessary at a competition because it was just one extra thing to carry.” 

“That’s not too bad.”

“She also hates my wife.”

“Ah, I see.”

“So we both reside on the list with Joe and Y/N.”

“What did Y/N do to get on the list?”

“What hasn’t she done to get on the list?” Joe laughed. “First it was being Dominic Y/L/N’s little sister during high school. Then it was becoming Jasmine’s key guardian when he died, then it was a few other arbitrary things I don’t remember, but most recently, it was getting you to be our friend instead of hers.” Joe said. 

“It’s a rite of passage to get on the list.” Rami said. All three men laughed as Gwil felt more at peace than ever before. Even though Karen had basically verbally bashed children in front of him and badmouthed Y/N, she did provide one key piece of vital information. Y/N as a former national champion for the Mustangs, maybe even on the same squad as his late wife. He marked it in his brain to ask her later. 

As practice started and the three men continued their conversation, still no Y/N. Part of Gwilym began to worry that something bad had happened. He checked his phone to see if she had called or texted but nothing. He tried to push the worry to the back of his mind as Joe began to talk about the upcoming competition this weekend. It was the same thing Bri had not stopped talking about for the past week. Even as he got her and Jasmine into the car today, they talked about their nervous excitement for it. 

Joe was going to ride up with Rami and Lucy. Figuring Gwil would want to carpool with Y/N. Actually all three of them, Joe, Rami, and Lucy, hoped something would blossom between the two. 

“Oh I hadn’t even thought to ask her. It is probably too late, I will just drive up myself.” He said he was a bit disappointed he hadn’t asked. 

“She’ll say yes if you do ask.” Rami smled. 

“She might not.” Gwil continued. 

“Oh no, she will definitely say yes.” Joe smiled slyly. Both men looked at each like they both held the same secret that Gwil wasn’t privy to. It was at that moment Y/N moved into the gym still in her work clothes. Her blazer that was once covering the purple silk blouse, was replaced by a jean jacket. She wore black slacks and black vans. 

“I don’t drive in heels, I don’t want to be responsible for that many lives.” She had told him their first Wednesday night dinner out with the girls. He knew that she kept a pair of black lace up vans in her Jeep for the drive home from the university. 

“Speak of the Devil and she shall appear.” Joe teased her as she sat in her usual spot. She laughed and Gwil’s heart skyrocketed into flight. 

“Ha ha. Good to see you, Mozzarella.” She snarked. 

“That’s Mr. Mozzarella to you.” Joe answered. Both tossing their heads back gently and laughed. There went Gwil’s pulse racing for a moment. 

“Did I miss anything?” 

“Gwil’s on the list.” 

“No!”

“Oh hell yeah!”

“How? Tell me! I have to know how Karen’s little lust for you somehow got you on the list.”

“Karen’s little what?” Gwil said. 

“Dude, she wanted to bone you.” Joe said. “Hard.”

“Bone?” He asked.

“Sleep with you, knock boots, cherry pick, dude I know too analogies for sex.”

“She’s married!” Gwil exclaimed quietly to the group. 

“Hasn’t stopped her before.” Y/N said. “Anyway, tell me how you got on the list.” 

Gwilym began to tell the story of her confrontation with Karen. His own smile grew as he watched Y/N’s own smile grow as he got to the words match. 

“Mr. Lee you are bloody brilliant.” She said, her hand rubbed his arm for a moment before she withdrew it. Gwil blushed. 

“It was nothing.”

“This is cause for celebration. You being on the list. We will all go out kid free and celebrate soon.” Joe said. 

“Sounds good to me.” Rami agreed. Y/N nodded, her eyes looking up and waving to Jasmine as the girl waved back. 

“Hey Y/N, did you know Gwilym here was going to drive to Trenton all alone?” Joe stated. Gwil’s eyes went wide as he looked at the man over Y/N’s shoulder. He felt his cheeks heat up.

“Really?” She asked.

“Yeah. He was going to drive by himself.”

“Why don’t you ride with me? It isn’t as long as a drive if you have a partner.” She offered him. Her Y/E/C eyes meeting his blue. A small smile on her lips.

“Um, you won’t mind?” He asked shyly. 

“No, it will be a treat to spend time with you alone.” She said honestly, all the room felt almost like it was silent around them. Joe and Rami watching the two just share prolonged eye contact. Gwil could almost swear there was a light pink tinge on her cheeks as well. 

“Then it's all set. I’d love to ride with you.” He smiled. The tinge got a bit darker. 

Joe poked his head between the two, “Is your, um, neighbor coming?” He asked her. His voice was almost giddy, like Gwil’s when he talked about Y/N on the phone to Ben. Who was this woman  that was making Joe act like the same lovestruck teenager he was?

“Oh no. Unfortunately, Jolene had one of her advanced painting classes rescheduled to Saturday. It is too much money to miss out on but she promised Jasmine she was coming to Regionals.” Y/N said as she raked her hair up into a messy ponytail. 

“Oh.” Joe’s smile faded quickly. 

“You know you could just ask her out. She likes you too.” Y/N patted her friend’s shoulder. Joe shook his head. 

“The divorce is still too fresh to Joey. It wouldn’t be fair to him for me to get involved with someone new so soon after his mother and I split up.” Joe admitted. Gwilym understood that point. A divorce was a similar loss to a child as a parent passing. Everything became different over night for them, changing so suddenly. Joe and his ex were friendly enough to a point for the sake of their son. The one thing that will keep them forever linked. 

“Okay honey. One day though, Joey is just going to want his dad to be happy.” She said with a soft smile to their friend. Joe just nodded looking over at his son. 

How Karen could ever call this wonderful woman a bitch was past Gwilym’s arena of thought. He looked at Y/N and smiled. God how beautiful she is even in the lighting of this gym. He thought to himself. As more time passed for the practice, the three experienced cheer parents told Gwilym everything he would need to know to be ready for Saturday. How he would have to have Brianne ready before 6 am to get her to the gym so that the team could take a bus together to the arena before driving there with Y/N. He would have to make sure he paced enough bobby pins, snacks, water, everything. His worry level that he would mess this all up grew. Especially the idea that he would have to do her hair in a high slick back ponytail. Brianne had hair like her mom’s thick and wavy, he could barely get it into braids without at least three Youtube tutorials. 

“How about this? I bring Jasmine over at like 5. I can do both of their hair and you can make sure they have enough snacks?” Y/N offered, once again being the incredible person that she was. 

“Please. I fear what I would do to my poor girl’s head.” He said honestly. 

“I think you would be fine, but the first competition is the scariest for both the parent and the cheerleader.” 

“It will put not only my mind at rest but Bri’s mind too. Thank you Y/N.” 

“Anything for you, Gwil.” She smiled. “Oh and um, thanks for standing up for the kids earlier with Karen. She can talk all the crap she wants about me but Jasmine doesn’t deserve that. It means a lot to me and it shows me how wonderful of a human being you are.” She said before turning her attention back to the mat. His heart raced again. God, Wednesday nights really were his favorite. 

[jlf23tumble]

Monthly fic rec anon here! I hope i'm not being annoying by asking what you've read lately and that you're staying safe where you live. I teased you a bit about Time Passed last month but you are so right about how much it sticks with you! Stay safe, jen! x

Hey, thank you, friend--and same to you!! Rest assured, a little teasing doesn’t bother me, I will never shut up about that fic, no matter how many transphobes drop into my inbox with their y’alls and their lols. Block city, BBs! Die mad about it! Etc.! I have a few other recent fics I’d rec, but I need to gush about my absolute fave, a fic @alienfuckeronmain wrote for me in the GBBO world that she hasn’t published (yet), but mannnn, did I love it. It was truly the highlight of the month--surprise gift fics for me? YES, PLEASE!!!! LOVEEEE!! Here are some you *can* read, though!

tomorrow is another day, haemophilus, 500 words, one direction, harry s/harry l. Pure G rating territory, this is just an imagining of when the two Harrys first met (plus I adore this writer’s ability to cram so much story into a mere 500 words)

I Feel Pretty and Witty and, haemophilus, 500 words, one direction, harry/nick. THE ANGST THIS AUTHOR PACKS INTO 500 WORDS, howwwww? So much is going on here, gender, too, and it’s just incredible, deep sigh.

show me devotion, @mercutionotromeo, 1.4k, one direction, harry/louis. One of my fave authors came out of nowhere with a quarantine fic?? In this economy?? This is why god invented the ao3 subscribe button!

Nothing but Time on My Hands, YesIsaWorld/ @louandhazaf, 2.2k, one direction, harry/louis. Masturbation fics, AIMH, but truly, there’s not much better than a poster of footie star Louis, if one is so inclined...you can *see* this poster, that’s how well this is written!

you know I’m comin’ back to you, thehufflepuffhobbit, 5.7k, the hobbit, thorin/bilbo. This wip is a gift for Phoenix, and it just so perfectly reps what I love most about fanfic: a modern AU, set at Lush, meet cute, LOVE!!! 

All Night Long, objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 7k, the hobbit, bofur/bard. This wip just started and is another perfect example of a perfect fic: serving up a pairing you wouldn’t expect in an AU that absolutely works (post- Living After Midnight, which finished this month and is equally wonderful)

Your God Shaped Hole Tonight, objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 8.4k, one direction, harry/ben/orville/armie/henry. This was a commissioned gangbang fic, and it was a pure delight to edit from start to finish, I love how much the person who asked for it LOVES IT. And how much more Napollya I need in my life.

tonight these streets are heaving, with young hearts on the chase, publunchesownmyass, 19k, one direction, harry/louis. Lisa rec’d this wip from a first-time writer, and it’s all kinds of soft, sigh. Not a crack fic (it’s more “what if they went on XF and didn’t make it”), but it definitely makes me think of “Harry Styles Cooks...” (maybe it’s all the briddish??)

Gold and Gold and Gold, Again, TinyBeautifulTales, 32k, one direction, harry/louis. An anon rec’d this  and I’m not a big magical realism fan, but I liked how this one was written--it gave me real throwback vibes (greek gods, sacrifice, love through the ages, if you’re curious on the magical realism bit)

The Murmur of Yearning, @mediawhorefics, 93k, one direction, louis/harry. This sprang up PURELY from the picture of Harry in Rolling Stone with the fascinator and became an entire P&P-esque 18th century novel, incredible! I have more BB on my “to read” list, but the widow Harry was the one I was waiting for!

Finally, you know I won’t leave you without a rec for Time Passed, just so you can weep whenever you see Tokyo Harry pictures or listen to “Fine Line” (the song) or think about that YouTube search history, sob. Transphobes, begone!

[katefiction]

Cora, Chapter 2: Invitations

I have to tell someone.

I can’t.

I can’t tell anyone.

Annie, she’d know what to do.

No, she’d just congratulate me and pat me on the back.

Jenny? She’d freak me out even more.

Mum…let’s not go there.

Dad? I quiver at the thought.

The door swings open as I stand contemplating my options, one hand in my mouth, my nail being torn to shreds, the other clutching a bottle of brandy.

‘Cora!’, he says as if I’m a wonderful surprise he wasn’t expecting. 

‘Evening Nicholas’, I smile, placing my hand at my side quickly.

He looks fantastic, his hair perfectly in place, and wearing a blue shirt and chinos. I have opted for a little black dress.

‘You look lovely’, he kisses me on both cheeks and I hand him the brandy.

‘For you’.

 ‘Brandy and fish? I think I’ll have to teach you a thing or two about flavours!’, he chuckles.

He lets me in to his plush Notting Hill apartment. Unlike my apartment at Clarence House, Nicholas is surrounded by shiny new furniture and contemporary art. It’s the kind of place that when you step bare foot, your feet sink into the lush, soft strands of the carpet.

He puts the brandy to one side and pours me a glass of wine.

‘So what’s for dinner?’, I ask.

‘Salt-crusted grilled fish with lemongrass’, he says proudly. 

‘You are full of surprises! Who knew you were a cook?’

‘I have many talents’, he says, looking over his glass at me.

I blush lightly. I have no idea what to say in response.

We settle down to dinner, Nicholas entertaining me with stories from his childhood, and the rivalry he and his older brother, Jonathan, had as boys.

‘I used to scribble out his grades on his school work and replace them with E’s and F’s’, he laughs, ‘he used to get so angry when Mum and Dad made him do more homework to make up for it’.

‘I wish I had siblings’

‘They’re not all they’re made out to be’

‘No, you’re so lucky to have that one person who understands…’, I trail off. ‘…I remember being seven and finally realising that Mum and Dad divorcing meant I wouldn’t get a little brother or sister to play with.’

I don’t have to tell Nicholas the story, we’d never talked about it, but of course he knew, the whole world knew. My parents divorced when I was five. They continued to live in Clarence House, albeit in very separate apartments, for my sake. When I left home for university, Mum wasted no time in moving to a secluded country home in Surrey. I’d resented her for it ever since. For leaving me. For leaving Dad.

I snap myself out of it as Nicholas says, ‘yes well, silver linings and all that.’ I can see I’ve made him uncomfortable. He changes the subject and my family aren’t mentioned for the rest of the meal.

After a chocolate soufflé, we head over to the living area. I’m a little woozy from the wine and would love to put my feet up and sink into the couch, but it’s hard on the back and sides, and I sit awkwardly upright as Nicholas sits next to me, looking all the more glamorous, his arm draped over his arm rest.

‘Get comfortable’, he insists.

I shuffle backwards into the couch, holding my wine in one hand, doing my best to look casual.

Nicholas swirls the wine in his glass. ‘So I know it’s a bit short notice for someone like you, but my father’s hosting our annual Highland Fling next month, and I wondered if you’d like to accompany me?’

‘Will you be dancing?’, I giggle.

‘Yes, of course, and I’ll be in a kilt’

I almost ask him if he’ll wear the kilt in the traditional way, with nothing underneath, but I stop myself. He raises an eyebrow as if he’s expecting me to ask that very question.

‘I’ll check my diary’, I say instead.

Nicholas’ face drops slightly, giving him a look of an abandoned puppy on the roadside.

‘I’m sure it’ll be fine though Nick! Best not double book myself’, I say cheerily, placing a hand on his knee to reassure him. 

‘Good’. He reaches to my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear before resting it on my shoulder. Tilting his body toward mine, my heart starts to beat uncontrollably. He’s taken that small gesture as a green light. Shit.

Nicholas is inches away from my face when I panic, ‘I can’t!’, I say, my voice going to liquid.

He stops, but doesn’t pull away, his face still ludicrously close to mine given what I’d just said.

‘You can’t?’

‘I mean I won’t…I mean…just not on the first date’, I manage a smile.

I’m lying; I did mean ‘I can’t’. A Freudian slip. How could I kiss this man after kissing another yesterday? How could he compare? I shake the thought of Ben out of my mind.

Nicholas pats my knee, ‘of course’.

‘Could I use the bathroom?’, I say, hoping to change the subject.

‘Through the passage, second on the right’. I think I hear a hint of annoyance in his voice.

I amble back from the bathroom a few minutes later, looking at the art work in the passage as I go. Next to the doorway that leads back to the living area is a small, wooden telephone table, with a telephone and a pile of documents sitting on top. The one messy thing in Nicholas’ home, I think to myself.

My father has always said I have an inquisitive mind; anyone else would call it nosy. I reassure myself that I’m just getting to know him better as I flick nonchalantly through Nicholas’ papers. A single sheet at the bottom of the pile catches my eye.

25/07/2163

Invoice

Elliot Mason Private Catering

2 course meal x2    £250.00

I push the papers back into place, smarting from my discovery. Part of me is endeared that he would go to such lengths for our date. The other part, the niggling part in my chest, is annoyed that he lied to me. It’s the cynical princess that wins. I have to test him.

‘So’ I say as I re-enter the room, where Nicholas is clearing away the glasses, ‘what are you going to cook for me next time?’ 

‘Ha! Well next time, we’ll be at the Highland Fling, so I won’t need to’, he gives me a small wink.

Forcing myself to come to my senses, I thank him for the evening, and promise to get in touch. So what if he paid a chef and lied about it? Surely that proves he likes me?

Maybe that niggling feeling I’ve felt all night isn’t my doubt, maybe it’s guilt.

I have to tell someone.

***

I drum my fingers across the desk in an erratic beat as Maggie reals off my commitments for the coming month. Our monthly diary meetings were her idea; a way to keep me organised and for us to merge my work diary with my personal one.

‘The weekend beginning Saturday, August twenty-eighth, you have free…’

‘I’m in Scotland that weekend’, I say, distracted by a fly buzzing near the window, trying to escape. 

‘Ok, for the whole weekend?’ Maggie never asked for specifics, where I was going and who with were my business. Nevertheless, I usually told her anyway.

I get up and open the window, releasing the fly to the world, ‘I’m not sure yet, it’s the Dunrobin Highland Fling, I might come home the next day’.

She scribbles something in her diary, as we discuss the last few days of August for a couple of minutes. I’m eager to leave, I hate meetings. I’m always the fly trying to escape from the window.

‘Just one last thing Ma’am’, Maggie picks up a large, thick envelope. ‘This came for you at the office, I presume you were expecting it?’

She hands it to me and I pull out the contents; a navy blue information pack, with the words ‘Marion and James Evans Trust’ in white writing on the cover. My heart skips a beat.

Opening the folder, I find a compliments note written in scrawling, spiky handwriting,

‘In case you couldn’t find the email address,

Ben Evans’

I’m convinced Maggie can hear my heart humming.

‘It’s from Ben Evans, about the Trust’, I say, my mouth dry.

‘Is he wanting you to get involved?’ Maggie asks, more interested in her paperwork.

‘Um…I don’t know’, I stay glued to the spot, staring at his disjointed penmanship, wondering what it says about him.

‘Are you ok Ma’am?’

When I look up, Maggie is looking at me, a slightly concerned expression on her face. It’s not like me to be so quiet.

‘I kissed him’. The words are out before my brain can stop them.

‘Mr Egerton, Ma’am?’

‘What?’, she thinks I’m talking about Nicholas, I had told her about the date in a fit of nerves on the way back from the awards. ‘No, not Nicholas…Ben, that night, I don’t know what happened, one minute we were talking, the next…’

Maggie’s eyes widen for a milli-second, then settle. She is truly the calmest person I know.

‘Are you planning to see each other again?’

‘I don’t know, I mean of course not! I’m seeing Nicholas, it was just a moment of madness’, I blurt out.

‘Are you worried?’, she says, trying to find the source of my angst.

‘About what?’

‘That he may speak to someone?’

Her innocent question hits me in the chest like a freezing snowball on a winter’s day. I hadn’t even considered he might talk to someone, and by ‘someone’, Maggie meant the press.

‘He wouldn’t, would he? I mean, why would he?’, the panic in my voice is rising by the second.

‘For publicity, press attention…any number of reasons Ma’am’

‘Oh shit’. How could I be so stupid?

Maggie tries to placate me, ‘I can get in contact with his team, make sure he knows any such action would be deplorable’

‘No! No, it’s fine, I’ll speak to him myself’, I scan the room, my mind buzzing.

‘I’m not sure that would be advisable’, she says calmly.

I ignore her against my better judgement, ‘I should see him in person, yes, that’s what I need to do, I need to see him.’

***

Queen’s Club, London

Maggie knew it was an excuse, I knew it was an excuse. But that wasn’t enough to stop me.

I’m well known around here, visiting every month or so to play a quick game of tennis. Ben and I had spoken about it that night, he had told me he comes here often, and after a few discreet phone calls from Maggie, I had discovered he’d be here training today.

Walking towards the lawns in my tennis whites and neon pink trainers, I scan the area for any sight of him and it doesn’t take long before I do. Swinging his racket forcefully against his training partner’s forehand, he bounces around the court, sweating head to toe in the August heat.  

I stand and watch for a few minutes, admiring the shapes his body can make under such speed, until his partner relents and goes to find some shade. Ben heads over to a bench on the side of the court, sits down and leans back his head, pouring water from his bottle all over his face, before gulping the rest down. 

I stride towards him purposefully. I am here for a reason.

I see him squinting like he’s seen a mirage. A grin passes over his face as I approach.

‘Morning, how are you?’, he says simply.

‘Good thanks, and you?’, I say. Casual. Be casual.

‘Good, good’

I stand in front of him, an expectant silence between us. Say something clever, Cora, or funny. Say anything. Speak for God’s sake!

‘I got your information pack, thank you!’, I say with a squeak.

‘Well, I noticed there hadn’t been any emails from you’, he shrugged. ‘I thought you might have been avoiding me.’

I laugh like a deranged idiot, ‘why would I avoid you?’

‘Because you kissed me’

I’m startled by his bluntness and stumble over my words before I realise what he’s just said.

‘Wait a second, you kissed me’, I say indignantly.

‘That’s not how I remember it’, he leans down to re-tie his shoelaces.

I open my mouth to bite back, then realise what he’s doing. ‘Nice try’.

‘Aha, she’s discovered a sense of humour at last’, he says, looking to the sky playfully.

I sit down next to him; I need to bite the bullet. ‘I have to ask you something…’, I say tentatively.

‘Go on’

‘Have you…told anyone about what happened?’

‘Nope, why?’

‘I just had to check’

‘For?…’ He places his elbows on his thighs and studies me.

‘If it got out, well, it would be a nightmare; I would really appreciate it if you didn’t say anything’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence’, he rolls his eyes. ‘Is there someone in particular you don’t want to find out? A boyfriend, perhaps’

My heart jumps into my throat. ‘No!’ I say it a little too quickly. ‘But, I’ve been on a date, since…it happened’

Why did I just tell him that?

A flicker of disappointment passes over his face.

‘So you‘re just worried I’ll use you for publicity?’, a darkness clouds his voice.

‘No, I-’

‘Cora, I’ve been in the public eye long enough to know how it works, I’m not interested in making the Sunday papers, I just want to play tennis’

‘I’m sorry, it would be stupid of me not to check’, I say.

He nods in agreement, ‘I appreciate you coming to me yourself’

‘See, I told Maggie that would be best!’, I can’t wait for the chance to rub that one in her face.

‘So Maggie knows does she?’, he raises both eyebrows. ‘And yet I’m getting the lecture about keeping my mouth shut!’

Crap. ‘She’s the only person I told, I swear’, I say, panicking.

Ben laughs, that glorious, big laugh, ‘I couldn’t give a shit who you tell’. There’s that bluntness again.

I want to hit him with my racket; this man knows how to break me into a sweat.

‘As you’re here, do you fancy a game?’, he motions towards the court.

‘With you?’

‘No with the Pope, yes with me. I heard Bejar offered you lessons, I think you can do better than him’, his deep brown eyes dart across mine.

I force Nicholas back into my mind like a shoehorn. Don’t flirt, don’t flirt.

‘Well you do need help on that forehand’, I tease.

We head over to the court where we hit a few balls around, Ben giving me some pointers along the way. As we finally get into a game, unsurprisingly, he wins every point. All but one, when he hits the net.

Later as I walk him to the changing rooms, I can’t help but gloat. ‘A point against a tennis champion, that’s pretty good going.’

‘One measly point! And it was only because I was distracted by those ridiculous trainers!’, he looks down at my neon pink feet.

It usually takes an age for a new friend to feel like they can tease me. I smile to myself, grateful that he just didn’t ‘give a shit’.

‘I’m sure you’re better at other things’, he pats me on the shoulder unaware of the glow it ignites inside me.

‘I am’, I try and sound mysterious.

‘Like?’

I say the first think that pops into my mind, ‘like the Highland Fling’

Ben finds this hilarious, of course he does.

‘I bet you couldn’t do it, I bet you’re too “manly” to even try’, I hold his gaze.

‘Try me’, he says, his voice deep.

‘There’s a party on the twenty-eighth, my friend…the guy I’m going with, it’s at his home, a big do, I’ll send you the details…if you’re not too much of a wuss, that is’

What am I doing?

‘Great’, if he’s registered that I’m going there with a date, he doesn’t show it.

‘Great, see you then’, I flounce off , my face on fire, my heart thumping.

‘Uh Cora!’, he calls after me.

I turn around.

‘You’ll probably need my number, to send me the details?’

‘Oh yes’, I blush.

I walk away with my hand gripped around my racket, Ben’s number in my phone, and his eyes on my back.

This has suddenly become very real.

What have I done?

[shy-magpie]

RQG 155

Wherein there are unexpected visitors. Live blog under the cut

Pre episode babbling:  there really wasn't any way quarantine was going to last as long as the dungeon crawl, and (for all I joked about it) I really am satisfied with what we got. That was a lot of backstory and character moments in a short amount of time. Now we have a kobold, a mysterious attack on the inn, and an episode title referencing dragons? Nice consolation for them almost certainly being forced out of the basement or having plot come to them. Please be Skraak? Please be Skraak either trying to rescue them or at least be here as an ally? Oh well time to hit play: Weird energy? That’s promising Inevitable locked in a Cel(l) joke Zolf needs to be nicer about the Kobolds Alex needs tell us if this is Skraak or not before Hamid gets the blame Skraak(?) Just unlocked the trap door Nice outfit Alex, is it our Skraak? It seems to be Zolf wants Skraak to join them in quarantine. Cel doesn't see why to bother when Skraak's been in contact with hundreds of Kobolds Skraak gestures for them to leave and Zolf is going to be force the issue. This will go over well. Beats his defense by 1 Hamid is trying to play peacemaker again. Really Zolf? Couldn't have calmly refused to leave and explained through the door? I know you are under stress but you are low charisma, not stupid. Love you Cel, Skraak has been speaking to varying degrees since "My Liege" Hamid tries to explain, Zolf speaks over him to say they didn't explain because they forgot. Hamid apologizes to Skraak. Skraak starts to leave. Azu backs Zolf in preventing him from leaving. Skraak is subdued by Zolf & Azu Skraak is locked in with Hamid? No Zolf has some limits thank goodness. He did call Skraak one of them.  Bound but not gagged as Hamid apologizes. Skraak points out that he just has to wait for the rest (of his team?) Skraak "monitor"ed them!?! Holy... I was merely comparing the situations, did he actually scry and see them held by a human in a small space underground beneath a trap door disguised by a table? If he thinks Wilde is their Shoin then how many pieces is he going to be in when Zolf gets out? Kobold lore please! Hierarchy is important and it was "considered a good idea to keep track of the saviors". Skraak is sarcastic in his tone when he uses the term and it sounds like at least Hamid & Azu object the instant they hear it, possibly others. Cel makes a pitch for quarantining the whole inn. Wilde is in the cupboard Zolf asks about the kobold numbers and makes some unnecessary remarks about the village & Jasper in particular being lost as he writes off Japan. Zolf is far too relatable for some who needs to stand the flame down before someone takes it personal. Deciding you've already doomed yourself along with everything you care about is a crappy way to avoid panic in the face of uncertainty. Cel tries to call him on it, he switches to "everyone else is infected and it will be our job to fight them". Scary thing is, while in the long term it would be a suicide mission, with their combined abilities they could make a serious dent in the numbers. Hope they are aware of the Hiroshima comparison if this is leading to calling for a air strike on Japan. They explain what little they know to Skraak who insists none of the Kobolds were sick but may not understand the symptoms. Possible kobold immunity? Gonna be annoyed if something Shoin did protected them. Skraak seems to be saying that no new people were exposed since his party of 7 followed the route of the party. Zolf wants to send them back under Skraak's guard to prevent any more coming for them. And they're back. Cel points out its better Skraak came since the kobolds didn't know to implement quarantine. They go upstairs. They form a phalanx and draw spear against the party when they don't see either Hamid or Skraak. Alex & Ben are doing the "these lines are already written we have but to speak them" routine while Bryn points out Alex doesn't get to sound like that when he's the one doing it. Very Hamid, if you know how this is going to play out and don't like it, just make another choice. Initiative and a lot of dice. Grapple rules. Not clear where Cel is/if they got grappled but it sounds like Zolf did and is throwing them off so he can check on the inn keeper. Hamid runs upstairs and every one of them kneels like Skraak did at their first meeting. Helen & Bryn both sound distressed. Should have cleaned up that unreadable little ficlet I made of Hamid going bad because he didn't know how to handle Kobold worship and accidentally took over Japan because he thought autonomy meant respecting their decision to look to him as their leader. The innkeeper is bound but fine. Zolf unties him and looks for Wilde. "Wilde is also bound and... Has a look best described as "the bleep? "" Zolf is a stress cooker and Barnes updates Hamid is flustered and embarrassed which buys him some small grace from Skraak who explains Hamid is "the biggest dragon here" Cel: Also you could introduce the concept of democracy. Eh skip em straight to anarcho communism if you ask me. Group decision meetings rather than just vote for the head dragon Hamid tries to side step a bit by suggesting they explain the situation and asks for their names. Hope Alex thought to name all seven before the cast does.  Siggif the kobold might be pushing it. "Hamid the polite tyrant"-Lydia Break Alex skips them to "a large dinner" cooked by Zolf who got a nat 20 on how good it is. Cel speaks draconic. Neither Zolf nor Azu can make out the difference in their names. Because Alex is like that: didn't want to come up with 7 names, did want to block anyone else naming them. Bryn however has all 6 names and is going to give Azu & Zolf their translations. They aren't interested in the rest of the party and "insist on maintaining a guard phalanx around Hamid at all times". Helen points out this is Bryn's fault. Yeah he's been playing with Alex long enough to know "King of the Kobolds" would come back to bite him. Hamid should be embarrassed. Hamid is sat at the head of the table by the Kobolds. Skraak: it'll pass eventually Zolf: good Aw Cel asks about traditional kobold food and Skraak has to struggle to remember. (Cel seems disappointed meal worm burgers would be poisonous to non kobolds) Zolf is a grumpy boy Long story short it seems to be a controlled risk: no contact off the island; no reason to believe the kobolds are infected Kobolds might be immune Oh screw Shoin (sent waves of Kobolds as dungeon monsters) Zolf doesn't think that the level of contact the Kobolds had with infected adventurers without being infected is proof since they don't know how the infection is passed or activated. Hamid says they shouldn't rely on it but its reason to hope. Zolf needs to remember that team moral is a thing and quit taking things from Hamid especially in a way that could piss off their new housemates. Thank you Azu! Hamid is not stupid! You can say there is reason for hope and still be careful Hamid calls him on jumping down his throat at the slightest provocation, reminds him they talked about this and that trying to stay positive is not a crime. God it's weird relating to both sides of this argument. My bias is towards Hamid as being right, but Zolf is so relatable. You have any idea how hard it can be not to snap at some of these kids they are setting themselves up for heart break when they talk about school in the fall or hug piles at cons? Thank you Cel Zolf is going to leave and sit on the coast behind the inn because he considers the quarantine broken not expanded. Backing out of an unproductive conversation, especially one were others have pointed out you are being harmful is valid, giving into "burn it all" moods is not. Hamid moves to stop him because he gets that the inn is now their cell Wilde calls him back and says he was building to them talking to the borb. So there is a reason he's the boss. Zolf declares he wants some time not thinking about this, which is what he should have done several paragraphs ago. Ffs this can not be the first time he's had it strike hot/destructive instead of cold/immobilizing; it sucks but you don't let yourself make any permanent decisions, stay away from the breakables and try not to talk to much, it passes. Cel suggests he go to one of the upstairs rooms instead, he accepts the redirect with ill grace but does accept it. Barnes has pointed out that locking everyone in a small box makes things worse not better before. Aw did Alex not like the fandom begging for the platonic version of the lock em in a closet until they sort out their feelings trope? Azu: I thought we could make friends Cel: he seems quite opposed to that Azu: I feel like he'd be a really good friend but not very friendly if you know what I mean Cel:we I know he hasn't been at all friendly Azu: you're friendly! Cel: well thank you, I do try Azu: I think you are my friend Cel: I am so honored! Thank you so much Azu! That's delightful Carter declares Cel the only friendly one because he is grumpy about Azu stepping on him, stopping him from breaking quarantine, and drank all the good stuff. Barnes suggests they start fresh in the morning. Skraak explains the kobolds are expecting Hamid to step into Shoin's role as tyrant just one they like. Skraak: even if they know you're not a tyrant, neither they nor me will be abandoning you because that's how Kobolds work. Good Hamid is taking this seriously Oh no pressure Skraak The most chill inn keeper in the world Skip to lunch time Zolf is still making himself scarce, which is not the worst way to handle it  dawning on you THAT YOU TRIED TO DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP YOU VALUE BECAUSE YOU WERE IN A MOOD Bryn makes the "he's secretly infected" joke. Bryn spotted the veins in discord avatar thing and Alex sounds so pleased Wilde is fine, stop asking Oh really we needed that insight in how Wilde thinks Brorb on the table Cel asks for a list of stuff to make into a Brorb access device. Between their bags of holding they have enough stuff for them to make do. Azu seeks out Zolf while Hamid & the Kobolds help Cel. No strike that she waits until someone needs to grab him for the Brorb interview. Alex! Ending on Azu finding Zolf staring out the window.

[winchester-purgatory]

Holiday guests | Dean Winchester (Part 3)

Sunday, December 23rd

Waking up to the smell of breakfast - eggs and bacon, to be precise - was unusual for Dean.

When they were kids, John would make efforts to cook his sons breakfast, either toasts or cereals, but now that his boys were grown ups, he didn’t bother trying. So, if Dean wanted breakfast, he’d have to prepare it himself. Most of the days, it resulted in a large cup of coffee.

Expecting to see Sam behind the stove, cooking some disgustingly healthy breakfast, the blond was met by a much shorter and red-er haired lady. She was taking a sip from her coffee while watching the sizzling eggs in the pan.

Dean’s lips curved a bit, memories rolling in. The scene reminded him of when they first met at Sam’s tiny apartment in Palo Alto. He had crashed on his brother’s couch and woke up to the redhead shattering a plate on Sam’s floor. Her long ginger hair and bare legs peeking from the oversized tee shirt will forever be engraved in Dean’s memory. She was a sight for sore eyes.

‘’Morning,’’ Dean said, breaking the silence.

Juliet jumped, startled by his hoarse morning voice. She turned around and pulled her eyebrows. ‘’Dean? What are you doing up before eleven? Did you become a morning person?’’

He huffed a laugh, walking further into the kitchen. ‘’Work,’’ the blond explained. ‘’Did you make coffee?’’

Juliet nodded. ‘’Help yourself. I’m making eggs. Want some?’’

As tempting as Juliet’s offer was, Dean had to decline. That breakfast smelled delicious though… And, there was bacon - Dean’s favorite beside pie - waiting to be cooked on the counter.

‘’Wish I could say yes, but I need to leave in five minutes.’’

‘’Wait, we’re Sunday?’’ the redhead realized, a frown between her eyebrows. ‘’You work on a Sunday?’’

‘’Yeah. The auto shop is closed, but I do towing on the weekends. Someone has to go and help those idiots who can’t handle the snow and slippery roads and got themselves stuck in a snow bank or the roadside.’’

Juliet chuckled. ‘’I agree.’’

Dean brought the hot cup of coffee to his lips and hummed. ‘’Damn , this coffee is good. Like, better than usual. What did you do to it?’’

‘’Ah! That’s a secret for me to keep,’’ she replied, a grin on her lips before returning to the stove, placing some eggs on a plate for herself.

Dean watched her as she moved around the kitchen. God, she was so beautiful. After not seeing her in two years, he had almost forgotten how much of a natural beauty Juliet was.  From where he was, he could see the freckles on her cheeks and nose, and the scar above her cheekbone. It was lighter than it used to be, faded from time.

‘’Well, I should get going.’’

‘’See you tonight, Dean.’’

.

Helping idiots out of snow banks and hoisting them on the towing was exhausting. Especially in winter. But, the more exhausting part wasn't the towing though, it was the owners of the towed car and that Dean had to take with him. Most were annoying and overly talkative - which quickly got on Dean's nerves. He was tempted more than once to dump them on the side of the road, but he'd get fired for it.

His first client was a middle aged woman who didn't have winter tires on her car. When Dean arrived on the scene and realized that, he wasn't surprised that she slipped on black ice and hit the road's borders. It's the middle of December and snowing like crazy. How can you expect to have full control of your car during a heavy snow and icy roads without winter tires? Idiots' logic like her made no sense to Dean. He has helped so many idiots of the same genre since the start of winter that he stopped counting.

For his second client, Dean was lucky and fell on someone he got along pretty well. The man had accidently hit a wild animal on his way home and, although the animal had run away, uninjured, the car's engine wouldn't start back on after the hit.

''It's an old car. I'm not surprised,'' the man, Benny, said as Dean turned on the towing truck, ready to leave the scene. ''It's not the first time it happens. Not that I purposely hit wild animals. They just love my car, I guess.''

''This road is prone to that. My dad used to be a ranger and he would get calls all the time to say deers were on the road,’’ Dean explained.

''You're from around here?''

Dean nodded. ''Lawrence, Kansas, born and raised, baby.'' He flashed Benny a proud smile. ‘’And you?’’

‘’I just moved her three months ago. I’m originally from San Jose.’’

‘’San Jose?’’ the blond repeated. ‘’Wow. That’s quite a big change of scenery.’’

‘’Yeah… My wife and I needed some change. We found a small house we liked in Lawrence and bought it on a whim. Most will say it’s kinda crazy, but it’s gonna be perfect to raise kids.’’

The conversation carried on as Dean drove, sharing his knowledge on the best burger places in town and where to not get beer after a long week of work. It was very important information for new-comers.

A familiar tunes came on the radio and Dean’s hands crisped on the steering wheel, trying to wash away the incoming flashback of him and Juliet singing to this exact song in his car during his stay in Palo Alto. Her sparkling eyes and red hair flowing from the wind and speed the car was going at.

He reached to turn it off, making his passenger raise an eyebrow.

''You're not a fan of classic rock?'' Benny asked.

Dean shook his head. ‘’I do. Just...old memories.’’

The elder man hummed. ‘’Past girlfriend, I’m guessing.’’

Dean flashed him a tight lipped smile. ‘’We can say that.’’

.

For dinner, John asked Dean to pick up burgers on the way home. What screamed more Winchester tradition than a good old burger for dinner? Add a beer and you have the perfect combo.

‘’The food is here!’’ Dean called as he walked in, carrying a brown paper bag holding everyone’s orders.

He shrugged off his winter layers and dove into the bag to grab his burger, taking a bite before even sitting down. He hummed, chewing his bite.

Sam came around to the table, Juliet following behind. ‘’Nice of you to wait for us.’’

Dean shrugged, unbothered. ‘’I was too hungry. I’ve been working all day, unlike you.’’

Sam rolled his eyes and sat down. ‘’Can you pass the bag, please?’’ Dean handed it to his brother but moved it away before Sam could grab it, laughing at his own childish behavior. Sam rolled his eyes. ‘’Dean.’’

‘’Where's Dad?’’ Dean asked, not seeing him around.

‘’He went to Bobby’s. He should be back soon,’’ Sam replied.

Dean hummed and reached into the bag. ‘’For the ladies,’’ he said, handing the last two burgers to Juliet and Sam.

Juliet took the burger from him. ‘’Thank you.’’

Dean smiled at her and pulled out his side of fry, frowning when he saw a lonely salad at the bottom. ‘’A salad? Who ordered a salad?’’

‘’Me,’’ Sam replied, this time taking the bag from his brother. ‘’You should try it some time. I’m sure it’ll be better for your cholesterol.’’

Dean scoffed, taking a couple fries and shoving them into his mouth. ‘’Salad is rabbit food. And, for your concerns, my cholesterol is just fine.’’

Juliet held her laugh, amused by the brothers' antics, and reached over the table and stole a fry from Dean.

.

It was almost midnight when Dean left his bedroom for a late snack, the burger and fries he had for dinner long gone from his stomach, to satisfy his late hunger before bed.

He walked down the hallway, thinking about the cereal bowl he was about to eat, and stopped in his tracks when he saw a figure in the living room. At first, he assumed it was his dad who had fallen asleep in his lazy-boy chair, but the quiet sobs told Dean it wasn’t John.

‘’Juliet?’’

‘’Fuck. Can’t you knock?’’ she hissed, turning her back from Dean.

‘’Sorry. I was on my way to get a snack and I- You okay?’’ He knew it was a stupid question to ask - she obviously was not okay -, but he had to ask. Give her an open door, in case she felt like talking.

‘’I’m crying in my best friend’s living room in the middle of the night, what do you think?’’ She shook her head. ''I'm not okay. I'm pretty far from okay.''

Just her luck, Dean wasn’t good with emotions and feelings. He's never been. He’s not good at comforting people either - the two go hand in hand -, but he couldn't let Juliet bath in her sadness. Seeing her cry like that was painful to watch.

Dean sat on the couch beside her, her quiet sobs tugging at his heart. ''Wanna talk about it?'' he offered tentatively. Maybe he won't know what to say to make her feel better, but he could always listen.

''You remember Damien?''

The elder Winchester tensed at the mention of Juliet's asshole ex-boyfriend.

''Well, I lied. Partially. I did break up with him, but he came to the café last week and caused a scene. He started yelling and-''

''Did he touch you?'' Dean interrupted, feeling his blood boil at the mere idea of this guy's dirty hands on Juliet. Damien had hurt her in the past, he certainly could do it again. Dean remembered the colorful bruise on her cheek when he visited Sam a couple years ago. It wasn't pretty.

She shook her head.

Dean sighed in relief. Good thing.

''Ben, a guy from the kitchen, got him to leave - bless him -, but I knew it wasn't over. It never is with Damien. After my shift at the café, I was too scared to go home and be by myself. I kept asking myself: what if he came here, you know? So, I went to Sam's. I've been staying at his place since that night. I didn't tell Sam what happened, he still doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him about the café incident. You know him, he'll want me to get a restraining order against Damien.''

‘’Wouldn’t be a good thing? A restraining order?’’

Juliet scoffed. ‘’It wouldn’t serve anything. It’s Damien. He doesn't care about laws and that kind of stuff. A piece of paper won’t keep him away from me. He’ll always find a way.’’

Dean had to fight the envy to go to California and kick his ass. Maybe then he’ll finally get the message and leave Juliet alone.

‘’I got a text from him today. Minutes ago, actually. He trashed my whole apartment. My landlord is going to kill me. I’m going to have to pay for all the damages fees. I’m going to have to find a new place too which is going to be difficult because they are going to call my old landlord and he’s gonna give me a bad note.’’

‘’Why don’t you stay with my brother a bit longer?’’

Juliet shook her head. ‘’I can’t invade his space forever. And, in case you forgot, Sam’s apartment is tiny.’’

He’ll give her that. There was just enough for a bed, couch and desk in that apartment. It’s so cramped. Two people couldn’t cohabit there, especially with Sam’s tall frame.

‘’I don’t know what I’m going to do. I-’’

Juliet’s tears started flowing again and, this time, Dean pulled the redhead into him. For a  moment, he thought he did a wrong move, that maybe he shouldn’t have done that, but Juliet responded instantly, wrapping her arm around his neck as his large hands rubbed up and down her back.

She cried into Dean’s chest, soaking his shirt, and Dean held her tighter, hating to see Juliet crying because of that guy. It wasn't the first time Dean confronted her following something Damien did.

After a few minutes, Juliet's tears slowed down and she pulled away from Dean, noticing the huge stain on his grey shirt. ''Sorry. I ruined your shirt...'' she pointed, wiping the remaining tears on her face with the back of her hands.

Dean shook his head. Fuck his shirt. It's just tears. ''Don't worry about it. It's just a shirt.''

‘’I’m such an idiot. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have taken him back in the first place-’’

‘’Hey. You’re not an idiot, okay? You take dumb decisions, it’s all.’’

Juliet chuckled slightly, allowing herself to be distracted from her issues for a few seconds. ‘’I go home in three days. What am I gonna do? I wish Charlie was here…’’

‘’Let’s go for a ride.’’

Juliet looked at him as if he was crazy. ‘’It’s past midnight in the middle of winter. We can’t just go for a ride, Dean.’’

The latter shrugged, seeing no problems. ‘’So? Put on your boots and jacket and let’s go. Snow’s not gonna eat us, you now?’’

‘’I don’t know… It’s snowing a lot and the roads must be icy.’’

‘’We’ll take the truck if it makes you feel safer. Come on.’’ Dean nodded his head in the direction of the door.

‘’Driving around always helps me clear my head,’’ the blond explained. ‘’We can even stop for a midnight snack if there’s anything open on our way.’’

.

Still in their pajamas, Dean drove around Lawrence, soft rock music playing as Juliet watching the large snowflakes sticking to the truck's window. A bag of half finished chips rested on her lap, munching on it every now and then.  Sometimes, she'd hum to the music, making Dean smile and wish the Damien drama had never happened. If it hadn't been from him, maybe he and Juliet would be together. Instead, he had to pick up the mess Damien made and comfort the beautiful girl he wasn't able to love properly.

‘’Juliet?’’ She turned and looked up at Dean. ''I think that if you love someone, you should never hurt them. Simple as that. But some people just can't get this right.''

[starblazerm31]

Azalea/Imalia Apprentice April Asks #2

Man, I did myself in on this one!  It only took me the whole week!  So many "Whoa...I haven't come up with that yet..."  But that's the point of these asks!  To develop characters!  Thanks so so much to @samjmorgan​​, @mechaspirit​​, and the several anons for sending me asks!  I hope you like my answers!  Once again, novel below the cut. XP

1. What does your character feel when they see their LI for the first time each day?

Julian:  He's always awake before her, but won't move until she does.  As soon as her bleary eyes see him, she smiles; that warm blossoming feeling filling her chest.  Her beautiful disaster is alive, well, and right where she left him.  She wraps her arms and legs around him and pulls him in tight for a full-body hug.  "Good morning, angel," he whispers to her.

Lucio:  Their connection usually has them waking up at the same time.  Even with a messy bedhead, Lucio makes Azalea's heart flutter the moment she lays eyes on him.  His skin is warm and soft, and it gets cute little goosebumps as soon as she touches him.  Lucio.  Her Lucio.  *Que make-out session.*  Morning breath?  Meh, who cares.

Her sleep is sporadic due to her nightmares, and she wakes up multiple times during the night.  Every time her eyes land on Asra next to her, her heart rate slows down and she drifts back off to sleep.  When it's finally time to get up, however, she will whimper and pull him close, letting her deep emotions and love spill over to him.  He's been the longest constant in her hellish life, and she's just so happy to have him next to her.  To be able to call him hers.

2. What things does your character love about their LI?

Julian:  She LOVES how smart he is.  She feels like she can have an actual intelligent conversation with him about absolutely (well...almost) anything.  He askes intellectual questions about magic and she is more than happy to go on a spiel about the little intricacies and science behind magic.  And she loves to ask him about medicine and how the human body works.  It ends up benefitting both of them in their respective professions.  She also loves how he towers over her but will fall to his knees in an instant.

Julian loves Azalea’s stubbornness.  Once she gets her mind set on something, it’s gonna go her way. (she snagged him, didn’t she?) He absolutely loves it when she throws off all of her inhibitions and goes on a night run across the rooftops.  He can’t keep up with her when she’s elevated.  The sky is her playground, and it makes her look even more angelic to him.  He adores the way she speaks to him and holds him when he’s feeling stressed.  She’s so soothing and comforting, and she won’t let him go until he asks.

Lucio:  She loves his energy and excitement.  He's not the smartest pickle in the jar, but he can match her when it comes to being active.  Running races, playing sexy hide-and-seek, sparring...he's the only person in the world who can wear her out.  And he has been the most encouraging person to her.  His wonder and awe when he watches her do magic makes her feel as awesome as he says she is.  And he loves it when she reads one of her new stories to him.  He sits there, riveted by the images she's weaving with her words.

Lucio loves how completely and utterly kind she is to him.  She actually listens to him and encourages him, believes in him.  No one has ever done that before.

Imalia loves everything about Asra.  She loves how beautiful his magic is.  Watching him cast leaves her utterly spellbound.  The glowing swirls, the glittering lights, the musical trills his magic makes.  It is unlike anything Imalia has ever experienced.  She loves how she can talk about anything and Asra immediately seems to understand.  Magical theories, sacred geometry and leylines, blessed and cursed artifacts, enchantments, ancient incantations...he is just as invested and curious as she.  She can teach him a new spell and he can get it right almost immediately as well as understand it.  And he is the most calming presence she could be around.  If her anxiety is flaring up or if she had a particularly nasty nightmare, Asra can calm her down within minutes.

Asra loves how giving and encouraging Imalia is.  She spends so much time learning new things only to turn around and share her knowledge with even more enthusiasm.  She simply can't keep knowledge to herself.  And she would gladly give her life to save someone she loves.

3. What things about their LI annoy them?

Julian:  He can still be a spastic dumbass.  And sometimes he will go on these long tirades about how he just doesn't deserve to be with her.  She will let him get his grievances out, and then calmly explain WHY he is wrong.  And he has this really annoying habit of leaving his dirty socks right beside the laundry hamper.  And Julian tends to leave cups of cold, unfinished coffee just lying around the place.  As for Azalea herself, she tends to think that he doesn't always understand what she is talking about, so she will spend too much time re-explaining a concept he already knows.  And sometimes she can be a little to micro-managey when it comes to stuff around the shop.

Lucio:  As above, spastic dumbass.  He also has absolutely NO idea or sense of money management.  And he can be lazy.  And if she's spending too long on her shop's expenses/cleaning, or if she's reading and not paying enough attention to him, Lucio will start to whine and flop around like a little kid.  Azalea herself still has a few trust issues with Lucio on certain things like money.  He’s so used to lavish things and sometimes needs reminding that Azalea’s shop doesn’t bring in THAT kind of revenue.  Azalea KNOWS Lucio doesn’t understand what she’s talking about sometimes, so the re-explaining isn’t so bad.  But it does bore Lucio.  He can’t help but feel put-out with Azalea’s micro-managing.  He wishes she would just sell the shop and move them back into the Palace since she is Court Magician.

Asra still likes to run off on his own without giving any specifics about where/what he's doing.  The running off is fine, but Imalia would at least like an idea of what he's planning.  Just in case he might need some help.  Her worst fear is for him to get in trouble and need her, but she isn't there.

4. Who does what chores?

Julian:  Azalea handles the cooking, laundry, and cleaning the floors.  Julian handles the dusting (putting that height to good use!) and the dishes.  They both do random little fix-its around the shop, but Azalea is better at it since she had spent three years randomly alone.  Azalea loves Julian's expressions when she climbs on the roof and hangs upside down to fix a shingle or the shop’s sign.  He’s trying to catch a glimpse of his favorite boob.

Lucio:  (assuming he is no longer Count and lives with her at the shop) OMG this lazy bum.  It took Azalea a while to get him used to the idea of washing his own clothes, and even longer to teach him how to do it right.  She still takes care of cooking (he is NOT allowed!) and the floors, but they share dusting duty.  And she taught him how to fix things.  The first time he got a chair to stop wobbling, she had to stop him from throwing open the windows and yelling "I AM THE FIX-IT KING!!!" to the entire neighborhood.  She also gave him a job as shop courier.  He needed to learn how to earn his living.  Also took him a while to figure out how to deliver orders without breaking anything.  😒

Well, Imalia has servants at her estate, so she doesn't really NEED to do any chores.  But she's not the lazy type, and will at the very least cook for herself and the entire household.  She likes seeing their faces when they taste her latest atroci-uh dish.  In seriousness, she's a pretty decent cook.  Asra will usually gather reagents and ingredients they will need in their magical research.  As far as household chores, he keeps the windows clean.  He loves how the sunlight filters in through the stained glass.

5. Do they prefer to stay at home, or do they like to go out?

Julian:  Being the working stiffs they are, they will usually stay at home.  But a few times a week they will head down to the Rowdy Raven for a good time, or visit with their friends.  Azalea does eventually become Imalia's apprentice again and gets tutored three times a week; they will usually go out somewhere as a group afterward.

Lucio:  Lucio, being the exhausting booger he is, has to go out and mingle with people.  So they will typically go out when the workday is done.  When Azalea becomes Imalia's apprentice again, Lucio is encouraged to do ANYTHING else but come along.  (Imalia and Lucio dated for three years, and that ended badly; so she tries to steer clear of him)  It doesn't always work, however, because Lucio is nosy and he remembers how well Imalia's head-of-household Ben made desserts.

Since she and Asra both like to travel, they typically go out somewhere.  Even if they stay at home they will be traveling the Magical Realms.

6. What are some little things they do for each other throughout the day?

Julian:  She will make him coffee and prepare him lunch to take to the clinic with him.  She will leave him little notes in the lunch telling him how amazing he is and how much she loves him.  If he is working late, she brings him dinner.  He will tie little notes to Malak's leg for her to receive, or bring her flowers when he gets off work.  He has also become the new bearer-of-pumpkin bread.  When he gets home, she will sit him down in a chair and give him a shoulder and back rub or draw him a nice hot bath.

Lucio:  She keeps a full cookie jar for him.  She keeps the pantry stocked with food he likes and will cook it just perfect for him.  She also whispers dirty little nothings in his ear and will give him sneaky butt pinches.  He needs to know he's wanted, after all!  If his prosthetic is bothering him, she will help soothe the irritation.  He will give her random shoulder rubs and neck nibbles and will make sure Corva's food and water are always full.  He also likes to blow most of his money on random gifts for her.

She will paint Asra's nails while telling him lots of "no shit, there I was" stories.  Smoking green with him while reading, going on long walks with him, and constantly praising him.  Asra will wash Imalia's hair when they bathe together and give her amazing scalp massages to ease away tension.  He also loves to brush her hair and come up with new braid configurations for the top of her head.

7. What are some private jokes they share?

Julian:  There was this one time when they were adventuring overseas and they wanted to grab something to eat before they set out to investigate this temple that Imalia had told them about.  It was supposed to have this magical jar that could hold a human soul.  The only vendor in the town they were in sold this strange grilled fruit on a stick that smelled absolutely awful.  They still ate them and it didn't taste too terrible.  But it strangely filled them with energy and they made it through the temple just fine.  Now when they see kebabs, they look at each other and snicker.  Also, when they pass a haberdasher and see a nice pirate-style hat, Julian will pass Azalea a quirked eyebrow and grin.

Lucio:  Whenever Azalea hears a goat bleat, she will glance to Lucio and snicker because his laugh sounds exactly the same.  Lucio will laugh like a madman when Corva will imitate Azalea's frustrated "Fucking hell!"  He also taught her how to say "Mama's ass" in his accent.   Lucio:  "Ey, Corva, what's the solution to this problem?" Corva:  "Mama's ass!" Azalea:  "OMG!!!" *blush* Corva:  "Fucking hell!"

She and Asra have run afoul of a few bandit gangs with the most ridiculous names.  So now when they hear of bandits causing trouble, Asra will say "Is it The Fighting Dragon's Blood Macho Men again?"   Imalia:  *snarfs her drink* "It might be the Serpent's Hand." Asra:  *laughs out loud*   Faust:  ?

8. What are some embarrassing couple stories?

Julian:  One time Azalea was bringing him lunch at work, and the thank-you kiss became rather intense.  A patient came in, and Julian realized that he had gotten...ahem...excited.  He had to come up with a lame excuse to give himself time to calm down.

Lucio:  One time he and Azalea were toking up in the loft of the shop when Nadia came in.  It was a new strain that was really potent, and Lucio couldn't hide the fact that he was high as hell.  When he tried to follow Azalea down the stairs, he lost his balance and tumbled the rest of the way down, ending up in a pile at Nadia's feet.  He instantly blurted out in a loud exaggerated whisper:  "Azzie, don't tell Noddy that I'm high!!" Nadia:  "Don't worry Lucio, I will never find out." Lucio:  "Good.  Hey, Azzie, are we gonna screw when she leaves?" Azalea:  "....Omg...I am so sorry, Nadia." Nadia:  "It's alright, you took him off of my hands after all." (I'd draw this if I could XD)

One time she and Asra started "getting down" in her study.  They were so focused on each other that they didn't notice Ben come in and set down a tray of refreshments for them.  When they were done, Imalia noticed the tray and said "How long has that been there?" Asra:  "I don't know...I swear it wasn't there before...we..." Imalia:  "...Shit, Ben, why do you have to be such a ninja?" They couldn't look him in the eye at dinner that night.

9. Is their relationship open or exclusive?

Julian/Lucio:  Exclusive.  Azalea gives her heart to one person only.  Her love envelopes her lover and all she longs for is them.  More than one person would feel mediocre and cheap because she would have to divide her love.  She loves with everything she is.  And it turns out that both Julian and Lucio get really jealous at the thought of sharing her.

Imalia and Asra are exclusive and deeply committed to each other; but they would have a threesome if they met someone who struck both of their fancies.  That hasn't happened yet, however.

10. How often do they need to be intimate?

Julian:  They need to be intimate at least twice a week.  Jobs can be stressful, and they need to relieve that stress.  Azalea is all too happy to indulge Julian's desires, and he is happy to service her needs in return.  He's amazing at following direction.  ^_~

Lucio:  Sex is a daily occurrence with them.  Rarely, they will have had such an exhausting and busy day that sex just wasn't in the schedule...but rarely.  More often than not, it's vanilla sex.  But they make an effort to have several spicy sessions a week.  There have been weeks where they went at it a little rough at the beginning, and they were too sore to keep up their normal routine.  Those were sad weeks.

At the very least they have sex once a week; however sex can happen at the drop of a hat with these two.  Anywhere, anytime.  The longest sessions happen in the Magical Realms where they can explore and experiment for as long as they want.

11. Have they ever fought?

Julian:  Over little things, more than most.  Things get tense with two people trying to be in a committed relationship.  Something as stupid as “geez, dirty socks on the floor AGAIN?!  The laundry basket is right here!” can, unfortunately, escalate into a rather heated argument about something entirely different.  But dammit, we are COMMITTED!!! (I’m NOT leaving this bitch/bastard because I LOVE them, and we have been through WAY too much SHIT for something as amorphous as emotions to drive a wedge between us!)  Cue some time apart to get their thoughts and emotions together and a very teary-eyed snotty apology.

Lucio:  Yeah, mainly over money management.  Lucio always thought the word "budget" meant "cheap."  He didn't understand that you can't use the money for shop repairs to buy that gaudy cloak he saw in a store window.  He also didn't know that shops had to buy the things they sell.  He thought store wares just...appeared.

Asra gets irate at the risks Imalia is all too ready to take at a moment's notice.  He wants her to stay safe and it's quite hard when she suddenly decides that she has to drain a quarter of her blood as a reagent for a spell that will lift the curse on a village.  She thinks that she will be alright since she merged with the Lord of Nightmares.  But Asra reminds her that Lon is a chaos goddess and might not save her.

12. Describe their perfect date

Julian:  It's been busy at the shop and the clinic, and Azalea and Julian have been wanting a date night for a while now.  Azalea closes the shop early and prepares a picnic for the two of them.  Meanwhile, Julian closes his clinic and hauls ass down to the Rowdy Raven to pick up a special bottle that he ordered from Barth.  He gets back to the shop just as Azalea is tucking everything away in a basket.  Arm in arm, the walk to the hidden garden.  They spread out a blanket and set everything up.  Under the glow of the Deadly Starstrand, they feed each other and enjoy that entire bottle.  They giggle and snuggle together, talking about the "remember whens" of their first meeting.  Azalea then pins Julian against that crumbling wall and enacts her secret desires of that night long ago.

Lucio:  Lucio got permission from Nadia to set up a special rendezvous in the palace garden.  (She adores Azalea and helped him come up with the idea)  A table with a magnificent spread was set out for them with a chilled Golden Goose.  They spent the evening laughing and talking, Lucio telling Azalea stories of his past glories.  Azalea confesses that she didn't think much of herself or her talent until he came into her life.  Lucio spends a while kissing up and down the length of Azalea's arms, showering her with praise.  He then takes her up to his old wing via the portal in the garden and gives her the full Count experience. ^_~

There is a meteor shower tonight.  Imalia sets up a tent (looks small, but is huge inside) in a clearing in the Dark Forest that has all the trappings.  A magician's feast, different types of drinks and wine, and big fluffy bed covered in tons of vibrantly colored pillows.  Outside, they lay in the grass and stargaze.  Imalia tells Asra the history and mythology behind the constellations overhead and what significance they have to different kinds of magicians and mages.  Asra already knows all this, but he loves to hear Imalia talk.  They watch the shooting stars flit by overhead, and both exclaim when a particularly bright one passes by or makes a loud popping sound.  They then retreat into the tent where they eat and weave light magic in the air to entertain each other.  Then Asra pulls out a stick of that special incense and the rest of the night is spent rolling in those pillows.

13. Do they have an evening routine?

Julian:  When they are home for the night, Azalea will make some tea for them and Julian will pick out a good book.  They will sit and read together for a while before drawing a hot lavender bath.  They will wash each other and cuddle until the water gets cold.  Then a cup of chamomile before going to bed.  Fun times may occur at this point.

Lucio:  Azalea will spend some time teaching Lucio how to read for as long as she can keep his attention.  She will then reward him with some intimate time followed by the lavender bath.  She will pour him a glass of wine and tea for herself, and they will talk and tell each other jokes and stories until they fall asleep.

They don't really have a routine; the only routine thing about their evenings is the fact that they go to sleep.  They are usually working on experiments together, exploring, reading, drinking, or playing games.

14. Describe a "paid scene" with your character and their LI

Julian:  Julian and Azalea are getting ready to attend a soiree at the palace.  Azalea helps Julian button his cuffs and slips in some sweet kisses to his wrists.  She then tells him to hold his arms up and don't move.  She slowly buttons up his shirt, leaving smoldering kisses up his chest as she fastens each button.  Julian is a blushing mess, each kiss making him hotter and hotter.  When she closes the final button at his neck, she gives him a mischievous love bite right below his collar.  She then tells him to help her fasten the back of her dress.  He gets a wicked glint in his eye and does as she says, but throwing in a little bit of the temperature magic she had been teaching him.  Icy touches make her shudder while hot touches make her groan.  He finishes off with a blazing kiss to her shoulder which he drags up her neck and ends with a playful nip to her earlobe.

Lucio:  An aerial dancing troupe had performed in the palace earlier that evening.  Azalea talked to Nadia and got the troupe to leave their rigs up.  The room seems to be littered with draping curtains and ropes.  Azalea easily coaxes Lucio into the room and ties a blindfold around his eyes.  She tells him to count to ten and then come find her.  He does as she asks, but pouts when all he can see are the curtains and ropes swaying.  He creeps around each one, listening for her.  He hears her giggle and sees some of the curtains move.  He dashes forward to find her, but she isn't there.  She leads him around the room like this for a good while until finally she spins down from one of the curtains and hangs upside-down in front of him.  She gives him that classic Raimi Spider-Man upside-down kiss.  He asks her what else she can do from that angle.  She replies by sensuously touching him while swaying from the fabric.  Eventually, all riled up, he plucks her down from there and hurries off with her to her room.

Imalia tells Asra that she respects the Arcana, but doesn't really hold much reverence towards them since they seem rather useless to her.  Asra pulls out his deck and offers to give her a reading.  Imalia sighs, but agrees.  He lays out three cards and flips one.  Just as he suspected, it's The Empress upright.  He listens to the card and tells her what it says.  "Of all the opportunities you've had, there is one you have wanted more than any other.  It scares you, but it's embedded so far down inside you that it's part of who you are.  You want more than anything to be a mother."  Imalia starts, her face turning a deep red.  "It's expected of you," Asra continues, "so a large part of you wants to reject the idea.  The idea pins you down to your royal bloodline.  But that isn't why you want it.  You want it because you want to share the bond that you had with your father with a child of your own.  You want to teach them, encourage them, and watch them grow into something amazing."  He puts the cards away and looks at her mischievously.  "What do you think of the Arcana now?"  Imalia grimaces and says "I think they talk too much."

15. Would they go on a double date?

Definitely!  Azalea/Julian and Azalea/Lucio have gone on double dates with Imalia/Asra many times!  (However, with Azalea/Lucio, Imalia and Lucio typically end up trying to outdo each other with stories of their badassery)

16. Who pops the question?

Julian:  They propose to each other!!  They both wanted it, knew they did, but weren’t exactly sure how to go about it.  They snuck around each other (the only time in their relationship that this happens) and bought rings.  Then, on the night each had planned, Julian goes to the kitchen to make them tea and get the ring he’d bought.  When he turns around, Azalea is already kneeling in front of him with the ring she’d bought.  He’s flabbergasted, and kinda numbly holds out his ring.  The next day was full of them guffawing and telling the story to everyone else.

Lucio:  He did.  It was not at all what Azalea was expecting.  She always thought he would propose at a party, in front of everyone in Vesuvia.  But no...he waited until they were alone and comfortable, lounging in the grass of the palace garden.  He just...asked her.  No flourishes, no showy display.  As for the ring...he did really well.  It wasn't some huge gaudy thing that wouldn't look right on her at all.  It was a simple silver band with three gorgeous moonstones set on it.  He really thought about what she would like.

She does.  They are on holiday together in Nopal during the Painted Daisy Festival.  While sitting next to each other at a bonfire, Imalia stands up.  She proclaims that she has had the vast fortune of traveling the world, having many adventures, performing great deeds, and teaching some of the brightest minds the world has ever seen.  But it all pales in comparison to the person she has fallen in love with.  She simply can't see herself doing anything greater than spending her life with him.  She kneels down in front of him and produces a golden ring etched in magical runes.  She says that he has been there longer than anyone else in her life.  Would he mind keeping that bad habit up for a while longer?  Say, forever?

17. Describe the wedding

Julian:  It takes place at the Palace (at Nadia's insistence).  Julian is a nervous wreck, thinking that surely Azalea will change her mind and leave him standing at the altar.  Portia smacks sense into him, reminding him that she was part of Azalea's bridal party and had JUST seen her.  Imalia is Azalea's maid-of-honor, and is bossing people around like a drill sergeant, accompanied by Mazelinka; they wanted to make sure Azalea could just enjoy this day and not be bothered by the minutiae.  When Azalea walks down the aisle, she is a glittering spectacle of white pearls, moonstones, crystals, and feathers from Corva. (she had been saving Corva's shed feathers for this occasion).  When they exchange vows, Corva perches on Julian's shoulder, and Malak on Azalea's.  They present them with the rings.  Que smooches and a hell of a reception with lots of table dancing!

Lucio:  Same as above, at the Palace.  Nadia and Azalea arranged everything, but kept Lucio's tastes very close in mind.  Azalea wanted a nice wedding, but not anything as huge as the Masquerade.  The palace was littered with white roses and moonflowers.  Imalia actually tended to Lucio in this one.  His mother was invited and actually showed up, which made Lucio nervous as hell.  Imalia assured him that everything was going to go smoothly, and if Morga did anything, Imalia would do something worse.  Despite her choice of groom, Azalea was still her best friend and this day was going to go PERFECTLY.  Down the aisle, Azalea was escorted by Mercedes and Melchior.  They looked amazing, all clad in white.  Azalea’s dress was the same as above, but she actually wore diamonds (even though she hates them).  The rings were tied to M&M's collars...which could have been a horrible decision if the dogs got riled up, but Imalia had Balthazaar at the ready to pursue and snatch, should that happen.  With the final kiss, sealing the deal, M&M tore out of the sanctuary to chase birds.  The reception was a big party, just like Lucio wanted.  He never left Azalea's side for a moment, showing her off to everyone in the kingdom.

She and Asra elope.  Something to spring on Azalea randomly.  XD  Plus, Imalia is exhausted with royal and court life; arranging a royal wedding would cause so much headache, and she just knew she would be sending a few nobles to the infirmary with their murmurs about Asra's social standing.  Better to just say "Oh, by the way, this is the person I married.  Suck it."

18. Any babies?

Julian:  Two kids:  Nora and Rylen.  They both inherit Azalea's premature greying so they enchant their hair like their mother.  Auburn at the roots, but Nora's fades into gold.  Rylen's fades into deep green.  Nora is tall and has the same proclivity for acrobatics that her mother does.  She also has a tendency to get into fights.  Rylen is shorter and is a bookworm who wants to be a doctor like his father.

Lucio:  Two kids:  Darien and Etoile.  As with the previous two, they inherit Azalea's greying.  But they don't enchant their hair.  They both like how the blonde roots fade into silver at the ends.  Darien is a sweet kid who is just really unlucky.  He gets into jams, his magic goes wild, and he tends to lose important things.  This is due to whatever deal Morga made when Lucio was a baby.  Etoile is an overachiever who is headstrong and bulletproof like her father.  She inherits Azalea's smarts which makes her even worse as far as being headstrong because she is, unfortunately, always correct.  She does deeply care for her older brother, however, and will knock someone out if they mess with him.  She ends up helping him with his crappy luck by making him MANY good luck charms to counteract.  The two of them become an adventuring duo, furthering magical research and discovery.

She and Asra have one child (at first; I want to create two more), a daughter named Celestia (Lessie).  She is slightly darker of skin tone, with Asra's beautiful white hair and Imalia's crimson eyes.  She is coy and mischievous, but can also turn on a dime into a yelling ball-buster.  She is best friends with Azalea's kids (both versions) and they get into all sorts of trouble together.  She is very good at inventing new magic spells.  Mainly good for pranks.  She eventually follows in her mother's footsteps and becomes a Magister as well as a potential heir to the throne of Seiruun.

19. Do they stay in Vesuvia, or eventually move somewhere else?

Julian/Lucio:  Vesuvia is home.  It's where her heart is and it's where she learned all of her greatest lessons in life.  She could never leave.

Imalia and Asra set up a portal to Imalia's home country of Seiruun.  They have dual citizenship there, and Asra is given the title of Prince since he married Sairuun's only Princess.  As such, they have to make appearances at court functions.  But Vesuvia is home.  Until (or if ever) Queen Dreen Suval has children of her own, Celestia is named the heir to the throne of Seiruun.

20. Talk about that family life.  What's it like?

Julian:  Azalea continues to run the shop and Julian his clinic.  But since the family got so large, they had to move out of the loft and buy a house (they found a nice one close by).  Azalea teaches Nora and Rylen how to make potions and tinctures, as well as nurture their magical talents.  Rylen wants to be like his father, so Julian takes him on as his apprentice at his clinic and teaches him everything he knows.  Azalea has to come to get Nora from the guards after she gets into fights on a somewhat regular basis.  She decides that Nora should get a proper "schooling" from Imalia.  So Imalia keeps Nora nice and busy and helps her channel her energy to more productive means than fighting.  Meals are always spent together as a family.

Lucio:  Azalea continues to run the shop, and Lucio actually steps up to help in raising Darien and Etoile.  They move into a fancy house.  Morga steps in every so often and insists on taking the children out on hunts.  When she sees how horrible Darien's luck is, she spends more attention on Etoile.  Azalea isn't pleased with this.  So she makes Darien her helper and apprentice at the shop and teaches him ways to counter his awful luck.  Etoile is the one who figures out exactly what he needs and makes him a LOT of luck charms.  They need to be re-energized every so often, but they seem to do the trick and Darien's true potential starts to shine.  Morga is forced to eat her words on one hunt when he slays a bear larger than any Morga has ever seen.  She begins to piece together Darien's condition and realizes who is actually at fault.  Her.  So she sets about to rid Darien of the curse of bad luck.  Lucio and Azalea love spending time with their kids, reading, telling stories, and playing with magic.  Meals are a family event with everyone taking part.

Imalia tries her best not to dote on Celestia, but she just can't help it sometimes.  The child is so amazing, and she loves how much like Asra she is.  She and Asra take her on family trips the the Magical Realms and help her construct her own Magical Gateway.  Asra introduces her to several of the Arcana, and the Magician absolutely adores her.  At one point, Celestia manages to slip into the Devil's realm and paints a penis on the frozen Arcana's face.  Imalia is immensely proud when Celestia agrees to take on the massive responsibility of becoming heir to Sairuun, but she doesn't put off her education either.  Through her own effort and hard work, she becomes a Magister.

BONUS.  Petnames.

Azalea calls Julian "Beautiful Beanpole" and "my darling doctor" and Julian calls Azalea "Angel," "darling," and "dearest"

Azalea calls Lucio "Hot Stuff" and "babe" and Lucio calls her "Azzie" (sounds like Ozzy) and "baby"

Imalia calls Asra "Starlight."  Asra calls Imalia "Professor."  Imalia also calls Lucio "Shitiot" (Shit/Idiot)

[anxiouslymalicious]

Beat You To It

Pairing: Ben Hardy x (fem) Reader

Summary: Periods are usually full of ups and downs, a bumpy ride, especially emotionally. This time, however, your emotions are all over the place as you just started taking the pill. But nothing could prepare you for the emotional roller coaster ride that ensues, especially as Ben comes home earlier from filming abroad.

Word Count: 2631 (oops?)

Warnings: none I think? Unless you count bad writing and talks about periods as one?

A/N: This is my first time writing something and actually publishing it. I hope you enjoy it!

It was a quiet Saturday night. You and Frankie were alone in the flat you and Ben moved into almost a year ago and although Frankie was a sweet pup, you still felt terribly lonely. The reason was simple.

Hormones. Birth control pills, to be exact.

The two of you had been talking about you going on birth control one quiet night when you were cuddled up on the sofa, a trashy tv show playing on the tv. You had been having troubles with your period for quite some time now and your doctor suggested using birth control to get it back on track. It wasn’t serious so you didn’t think about it too much. Ben then joked that he would be able to find out what sex without a condom feels like, but it might have been the light buzz of the wine you had opened during dinner. Neither of you mentioned it again, but the thought never left your mind. So, as soon as Ben told you when he would be leaving for filming, you made an appointment with your gyn and asked for a prescription of the pill, which you had promptly received.

Now, it was about 3 weeks later and you were on your first period while being on the pill and it was… Something.

Obviously, you and your doctor talked about the side effects of the pill and she told you about what to expect during the first three months, but you did not expect for the side effects to hit you nearly as hard as they did.

Besides light nausea shortly after taking the pill the first few days, you thought that the little hormone pills were treating you good. Until your first period arrived.

One advantage of taking birth control pills was that your cramps would be less intense and your periods in general would be easier on you. Or at least that’s what everyone told you. What they forgot to mention, though, was that the first period on the pill might not be that easy on you.

And so, you were drowning in self-pity.

Your period had started a day late, it was a Friday morning and you awoke with pain in your abdomen. Groaning, you turned around, trying to reach for Ben, but your hand only managed to find Frankie, curled up into a tiny ball of fur, laying on Ben’s side of the bed. A sigh escaped your lips as you remembered that he was still filming and only supposed to come back next week. No matter how often he left, your mind never ceased to forget that he wasn’t there when you woke up.

Tears welled up in your eyes. How badly you needed him at this moment to just hold you. Maybe make you breakfast in bed. And give you back rubs. And treat you like a queen. Just for today.

Nonetheless, you pushed through the day. Although your emotions were all over the place (you had yelled at three people, cried as you found out that you ran out of your favourite cereal, laughed your arse off at Frankie trying to catch her own tail and all of that even before leaving for work), the cramps were intense and your head felt as though a truck ran over it, you got through the whole work day. You couldn’t have been happier when you came home, greeted by Frankie’s happy barking and the warmth of your flat.

The rest of your day, you had spent on the couch in the living room, eating pizza, watching whatever was on tv whenever your pain killers didn’t knock you out and Ben even called sometime during the evening.

Ben always called you when he was gone. It was only on very rare occasions that he didn’t manage to call you and talk with you sometime during the day and even on those days, he recorded a voice message before passing out on his bed and making up for the missed call as soon as possible.

Your phone calls with Ben were almost therapeutic. Both of you managed to talk about anything that was bothering you. Whether it was your annoying colleagues, a scene that worried him, or just talking about the dreams you two had and trying to make up the funniest meanings. One time, you two managed to talk about how your dream about stargazing meant that you possessed the ability to live in space and were actually born as a product of a star dying, but you couldn’t go back because you needed the doctor to help you and so you needed to wait for him and his Tardis to appear.

This time, it was just him being overly excited about how well everything was going and how awesome everyone on set was. You really wanted to tell him how bad you felt, but that would also ruin the surprise of telling him that you guys wouldn’t need a condom the next time you two were in the heat of the moment.

And now, it was Saturday night. You had barely moved from your seat on the couch unless you really had to, like when you had to go on a walk with Frankie, go to the bathroom yourself or get open the door for the delivery person bringing yet another order of yours. Last night, you had seen a tv trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and you couldn’t stop a few stray tears from falling as you stared into Dumbledore’s sickly pale face. You already knew back then that you would regret watching that movie. But you did it anyway.

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, not even if you tried, as you watched the heart-breaking scenes take place.

As you were so busy wailing like a baby, wrapped up in your favourite blanket with an empty cup of tea on the coffee table and empty take out boxes and chocolate wrappers splayed out all over the coffee table, you did not notice Frankie jumping up with curiosity at something she heard.

You also didn’t hear the jingling of the keys in the lock of your flat.

Or the sound of a bag dropping in the living room.

Not even the sound of an incredibly deep laughter managed to pull you out of your trance.

You flinched as you felt a hand on your shoulder, the sudden touch scaring you, and a shrill scream escaped your lips. In a moment of fear, your body involuntarily tried to move to the other end of the couch, your abdomen cramping up at the unexpected movement. You whimpered softly at the pain, wrapping your arms around yourself in an effort to ease the pain at least a bit.

“Hey, princess, it’s me, calm down.”, Ben almost laughed at your reaction. Until he noticed your dishevelled appearance.

Your hair was all over the place, your eyes bloodshot from the little amount of sleep you caught the previous night and the many crying sessions you had over the past 48 hours. Your cheeks were puffy and flushed and tear streaks stained your skin. Chocolate was smeared in the corner of your lips.

You were wearing one of Ben’s old sweatshirts which he should have gotten rid off ages ago, but you always saved it from its doom in the trash by saying that it was far too comfortable to throw it away.

Pants had long been abandoned, or at least Ben assumed so as he saw one of your bare legs sticking out from under the blanket that he knew you only pulled out if you were in need of comfort.

“Y/N, what happened? Are you okay?”, Ben was now worried. He had never seen you like this before. He was now kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, grasping your hands. This only caused more tears to fall. You had officially ruined the surprise. Ben wasn’t supposed to be home yet. He was scheduled to come next week, when your period was over and you were feeling great.

But there he was, seated in front of you, his green eyes staring right into your own (y/e/c) orbs, trying to put together the pieces, but failing.

Frankie had now joined you, laying her head comfortingly in your lap, almost like she was trying to encourage you to tell him what was going on. And you tried.

But all you managed to get out was a weird brabbled speech.

“He-he- Dumbledore, he died and I cried, but you weren’t supposed to find out until Thursday, when you came back and you were not supposed to be here yet. But now he died and you’re here but you shouldn’t be. And Frankie was supposed to help and- and I didn’t want to watch it, but it just kind of happened because I cannot resist Harry Potter and you know that.”, you didn’t make sense. Not to Ben, not to yourself.

“Y/N, are you drunk, love?” Ben was now trying not to burst out laughing, gently placing his hands on your cheeks and wiping the fresh tears away from your cheeks.

“No, I’m not, I haven’t had a sip of alcohol in months! Oh wait, that’s a lie. I’m lying to you and myself. It was just last week. I’m not an alcoholic, though, I swear.”, you sobbed, defending yourself.

“Then what’s going on, love?” soft giggles emerged from Ben’s lips as he watched you. He really didn’t want to, but watching you was more than just hilarious.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment. A new wave of tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him.

“I started taking birth control pills, but didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you. And now I’m on my period and you’re home early and ruined the surprise. I had it all planned out! Wanted to cook for you, wear something sexy, seduce you and tell you that you wouldn’t need a condom, but now you’re here and caught me crying over a movie I have seen a few hundred times already.” You were watching Ben’s face closely, awaiting some kind of negative reaction.

“Oh, love, really? You put yourself through all this stress for me?”, Ben was amazed. You nodded silently, afraid that if you opened your mouth, you would only keep on sobbing.

Ben now moved onto the couch, pulling you into him and wrapping his arms tightly around you.

“I love you, Y/N. I really do. Thank you so much.”, whispered Ben as he ran his hand through your hair, trying to calm you. Nothing but love and adoration were in his voice, and the moment would have been perfect, if it wasn’t for Frankie suddenly barking. Neither of you had noticed that you were almost crushing the little dog in between your bodies as you hugged and were now feeling unbelievably sorry.

“Tell you what, love. I’ll clean up a bit while you move to the bedroom and then we’ll cuddle and I’ll rub your belly. How does that sound?”, asked Ben, softly kissing your temple as he wiped away the last stray tears on your cheeks.

“Sounds perfect. Marry me please?”, you asked, only half joking. Ben chuckled as he got up and placed a kiss onto your lips, then wiped at the corner to wipe away the chocolate that was still smeared there. A light giggle left your lips as you watched your beloved boyfriend disappear in the hallway, probably to grab a bin or something to get rid off the trash. You followed him shortly after, your blanket wrapped around you, walking on shaky legs into the bedroom and dropping your tired body on the bed.

Just as you were about to doze off, you heard the sound of Frankie’s paws hitting the floor before she tried to jump onto the bed. A soft smile grew on your lips as you moved to look at her, gently petting her.

“Thank you so much for sneaking into my flat a few years back, you little rascal. Without you I may have never met your hooman and we wouldn’t be right here right now. My life wouldn’t be the same without you two.”, you whispered lovingly to her.

“Our lives wouldn’t be the same without you either, Y/N.”, mumbled Ben from the doorway of the room. He had a glass of water in one hand, a heating pad in the other. He gave you a soft smile, that one special smile that only you got to see. It was so soft, barely noticeable at times, yet so full of love and adoration. You couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little more whenever he smiled that special smile.

He set the glass on the nightstand, then opened his fist to drop a pain killer next to it. “Just in case you need one. Don’t feel like getting up again.”, Ben explained in a mumble. You nodded.

He then changed into his pyjamas before he lay next to you, moving as close as possible. Grabbing the heating pad, he turned it on and gently placed it on your tummy as you lay with your head on his chest. His heartbeat was calming to you. You knew that he was alright and safe, right there next to you.

“Hey, love?” Ben’s voice was soft.

“Yes, love?”, you asked in reply, looking up at him. You hadn’t felt this content in a while, not since Ben left for filming, and you didn’t want for that moment to end. Ben was grinning at you now, like he knew something that you didn’t.

“I never answered your question.”

“What question?” You were confused.

“The one about marrying you.”

“Oh.” Your heart skipped a beat in fear. Was that too much? Could you blame it on the hormones?

Ben’s hand was in a fist, only using two fingers to lift your hand lightly as his other hand was running through your hair.

“Guess you kind of beat me to the question. But I beat you to the ring.”, he whispered, looking at you intently as his hand opened and laid the ring in your hand. You looked at him like you couldn’t believe what was happening. By all means, you couldn’t.

“Well, what do you say, love?”, you asked as yet another wave of tears welled up in your eyes.

“I say ‘let’s put a ring on it’.”, he grinned, carefully slipping the simple gold band onto your ring finger. Neither of you could stop yourself from smiling as you moved to press a lingering kiss to his lips, your fingers finding his cheek and gently tracing it.

“I love you with all my heart, Ben.”, you whispered as you parted from the kiss.

“I love you with all my soul, Y/N.”, he whispered back.

“Today was such an emotional roller coaster ride. Let’s go to sleep and celebrate tomorrow.”, you whispered, pressing another kiss to his cheek. With a sigh, you got up to go to the bathroom one last time before going to bed.

Needless to say, that your phone was blowing up with messages from Joe when you came back.

‘Y/N Y/L/N, how DARE you steal MY MAN?!’

‘Cardy B and I are very disappointed.’

‘And you didn’t even ask for our blessing!’

“Sorry, princess. I couldn’t help myself and just had to tell someone.”, Ben grinned at you like a four-year-old who had just stolen some sweets. You playfully rolled your eyes at him, moved to lie down on the bed and plugged in your phone before typing one single message to Joe.

‘Guess I beat you to it.’

 A/N2: This was based on my actual experience as I was put on the pill for troubles with my period, except I am as single as I could possibly be and was sending my friends some of the things you can read here as hilarious voice messages. They had the time of their lives, I think?

[good-things-do-happen-dean]

001 - SUPERNATURAL & 002 - DENNY

omg how did I just realize how much is involved in these haha here we go!!

spn:

favorite character: got to go with my boy cas. he!!! is so fascinating and also beautiful and just?? his character arc!!!! if only the writers respected this amazing being they created

least favorite character: lucifer or john winchester. that’s a tough call here, i think it’s a tie folks (this does not include casifer, who is. separate in my mind for some reason? [perhaps that reason is misha vs mark the world may never know {it definitely is}])

5 favorite ships: dean/benny, dean/cas/benny, dean/cas, sam/eileen, hmmmmm dean/lisa makes me fckn sad but that’s mostly bc of ben, so i’m going to go with sam/amelia I think (also sad)

character I find most attractive: benny in part due to that image in wayfinding (if you know you know, and if you don’t.........read the handily provided link and also you’re welcome)

character i would marry: ooh an interesting question bc i don’t really think i want to get married in real life but i guess if i had to pick someone then benny, my love my heart. hold me and cook for me and wear suspenders hanging off

character i would be best friends with: i would love to be cool enough to be best friends with claire but probably donna or charlie if we’re being more realistic!!

a random thought: i'm thinking about our headcanon about monkey the dog 🥺 but hmm i’ve been thinking about the End recently

an unpopular opinion: oh god idk what’s unpopular and popular i'm so out of the loop but for an uncontroversial (?) one i'm going with librarian!cas is better than professor!cas

my canon OTP: dean/benny they’re canon not sorry about it. charlie is literally like “how are u handling ur break up?”

my non-canon OTP: dean/cas/benny is love, dean/cas/benny is life

most badass character: look. linda tran. or billie.

most epic villain: ABADDON she’s so fckn cool

pairing I am not a fan of: sam/rowena! better as mentor/mentee for me idk

character I feel the writers screwed up: BENNY, but more screwed over. my baby deserved better (aka to LIVE)

favorite friendship: dean & charlie (i'm over here crying)

character I most identify with: probably? charlie? 

character I wish I could be: CLAIRE partly bc i just...want to look like kathryn newton but also SHE is so interesting

denny:

when I started shipping them: immediately. benny showed up in purgatory? boyfriends. and this was when i was still watching live so whatever year that was

my thoughts: too many to count oh my god. they are SO GOOD FOR EACH OTHER. no, i will not be taking questions at this time

what makes me happy about them: EVERYTHING. EVERY. THING. those boys are soft for each other

what makes me sad about them: THE FACE DEAN MAKES WHEN HE HUGS BENNY RIGHT BEFORE HE FUCKING BEHEADS HIM. HELP. ALSO THE FACE DEAN MAKES WHEN HE AND CAS ARE IN PURGATORY IN S15 AND HE ASKS WHERE BENNY IS AND THE LEVIATHAN SAYS HE’S DEAD.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: oh? hmm idk actually! maybe if their relationship is just about sex? like these boys definitely can get it on, but they love each other so much i'm 🥺

things I look for in fanfic: uhhhh for there to be fanfic at all hahahahahahaah (laughing through the pain)

my wishlist: 1. benny lives (too real?)

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: cas with either of them tbh, but better if it’s cas with BOTH

my happily ever after for them: 1. benny lives, 2. they can handle it from there but the two of them retiring and living in a lil house and loving each other with their whole hearts. basically luminism. @cherryberrynice you just....get them

[b-rainlet]

You made me ship Lunya T.T but as a Allison stan this kind made me ship her with Diego... headcanon about the neglected couples? :O

Tbh, there are a lot of ship possibilities that could be seen as neglected couples since there are 7 main people who could be thrust into about 21 ship dynamics - not counting poly ships and not counting ships that aren’t sibling ships - like Klave or Vanya/Helen or even still incest stuff like Gracexthe sibs.

So you see, endless possibilities but there are only about 4 ships who are really popular? Klave, Kliego, Fiveya...maybe Horrance? And even then, most Horrance or Fiveya shippers still see their ship as a rarepair because compared to Klave or Kliego it more or less is.

Which may have to do with the fact that if you’re an anti but wanna ship something you have pretty limited options, so Klave it is.

So you probably want some Allison/Diego hcs but I’m gonna do a little more because Allison is less popular in general so her ships are not that often talked about.

I’ll leave out Alluther because I did some OTP asks about them, but y’all know I ship them because it’s the sweet story of childhood sweethearts meeting again and falling in love all over again and it’s just...*sighs dreamily* lots of possibilities.

Allison/Diego: A fun ship! At first you’d probably say: ‘We have a pretty much functional adult with a child and a guy who eats raw eggs to seem edgy’ so it’s easy to fall into a Hermione/Ron relationship interpretation where you have a dumbass and someone done with their shit - and I can see it being like that occasionally but not always!

When I think about them I mostly think about teasing. They totally do some competitive shit just because they wanna best each other but where that same dynamic could quickly turn into arguments for Luego I can see it staying mostly light-hearted with Allison/Diego.

(Quick question, do they have a ship name? Asking for tagging purposes).

And Allison would take none of Diego’s shit. Oh, Diego has one of his mood swings and tries to be an emo boy and pull that ‘I don’t need anyone shit’? Boy, Allison is a single mother who’s been through a divorce already, she doesn’t have time for your angst.

Lmao, Allison being like: “We’ll sit down and talk about our feelings now” after a fight and Diego complains the whole time but sits down like a good boy.

Also, Allison would do the vigilante thing from time to time because she may pretend to be an adult and above that kinda stuff but it’s fun and they definitely argue over who took out more people.

Give me that power couple pls.

Allison/Klaus: One of my favourite ships! Can be real whole-hearted or angsty depending on the angle you take.

Like, Allison who keeps busting Klaus out of prison with her status and her rumours and who pays for his rehab stay every single time, at first still telling him that she’s gonna fix him with that Hollywood ‘You can do it’ attitude - slowly getting more and more annoyed by her no-good brother, feeling like a babysitter - maybe even refusing to keep indulging his brother, to keep giving him money he’s only gonna use on drugs anyway.

And Klaus who despises Allison’s glamour lifestyle, her polished image and her nuclear family - we could even throw some biphobia in there because Klaus remembers their talks about how pretty girls are but Allison pretends that never happened because it wouldn’t do her career much good. (Just like being seen with her junkie brother, “isn’t that why we can’t meet anywhere that isn’t a back alley? Why you can’t talk to me without sunglasses and a hat? Why you keep your voice down even when I scream at you?”)

Plus, some added angst: Patrick telling Allison to just drop her brother already, he’s just gonna self-destruct and take her with him and that creates tension between the two of them, could even be one of the many reasons for their divorce.

And just like that, Allison loses all of it. And Klaus is there with a cheap bottle of Tequila, already high and grinning at her: “Welcome at the bottom, sister dearest!”

*insert the 30k story about the two of them slowly learning to understand each other and finally being able to heal - with the help from the other but also because they wanna change for themselves. I vote for added bed sharing and sleepovers and them doing each other’s nails but also them fucking once and not talking about it because they were both really hurt and not really thinking when it happened but it staying in the back of their minds until they realize that they could actually work together*

This got angstier than it was supposed to be, sorry! I love them, I swear!

Allison/Five: Probably the least popular one out of all the Allison ships!

I have to admit that I don’t think about Five ships much? Which probably has to do with the whole child body thing but I’m not opposed to ships involving them! (Especially when they’re enby, y’all know my brand).

Allison/Five would be that kinda snob couple who knows they are superior to you and they’re not above showing you. Lots of quibs, lots of sarcasm.

But also probably one of the more mature ones? I can see Allison being unsure at first because Five is- no, looks like a kid and who knows when that will get fixed? And maybe it’s because she’s a Mum but sometimes she just treats them like a child and Five hates it.

(Five probably has to do a lot of courting before Allison considers a relationship. Which is bullshit. They both know there’s tension there, why the fuck is Allison drawing back from that? Just because Five’s trapped in this body? Does Allison think they want that?)

Five aggressively flirting while Allison to herself is like: ‘Hoe, don’t do it.’ but eventually giving in.

And of course, depending on your take of Five’s body, things are gonna be weird. Like, a popular hc is to have Five in a 20ish body but even then, just imagine the headlines.

Allison Hargreeves, world star, dating a guy 10 years younger!!! Is she getting over her divorce with a boy toy?

(Not to mention the pseudo-incest part).

They’d get a lot of shit I’d say.

And Five would be furious about that. How dare they imply that their relationship with Allison is just some fling? They’ll show them. So they make a game out of proving the paparazzi wrong. Makes it their mission to treat Allison as right as possible.

(Also I have feelings about the whole Five - Claire - Allison thing. I mean, just Five mentioning wanting to meet Claire? Knowing her name? I am soft).

And I know I am rambling a little but whether you think Patrick was/is a nice guy or not (I personally think he is), I can see Allison being so obsessed with seeming flawless and having the picture perfect family - as opposed to her own family - that she felt like she could never really be herself? Like she had to hide a lot of her more ‘ugly’ sides to be desirable.

And Five doesn’t care about that shit. Five also doesn’t care about courtesy. Five will jump into her room at the beginning of their relationship, watch her scramble around to try and change into something nicer than her pajamas and apologize for her messy hair and her pimples- “I just woke up, I didn’t have time to put on my make up, can’t you come back later Five?”

And Five’s like: “You look like someone who just woke up. Your hair is sweaty and you have a pretty big pimple on your nose. Also, your morning breath is horrible. Can we cuddle now?”

(Five is the first partner Allison burps in front of. It’s pretty freeing).

Five on the other hand has someone they can be insecure in front of. Where they don’t have to pretend they know all the answers. Be dismissive with. (They’re trying to let all of their siblings in but it’s a process, okay?)

I’m sorry, I’ll stop now but I gave myself feelings.

Allison/Ben: This feels like an easier couple. Like, more normal, lmao. Just a couple of adopted sibs falling in love the old-fashioned way - after one of them gets brought back to live and they survive a near apocalypse their sister caused.

I like to spin some tale of being in love as kids (like with Alluther) but for me the two of them really work better as just being friends as kids and then once Ben comes back, Allison realizes how much she missed him and she’s like “What is this???? Am I....crushing on him??” (imagine the Beauty and the Beast song where they realise they like each other while playing in the snow).

Just...some good and nice slowburn. Maybe some added angst with Ben thinking Allison is confusing her relieve of him being alive with being in love or believes she’s looking for a rebound after her divorce.

Or maybe he believes he’s just touch-starved and that’s why he clings to Allison?

(Imagine the two of them chilling at the mansion together, just picking up where they left off, pretending to still be kids. Allison all excitedly showing Ben what he’s missed during all those years and what he only gets to experience now - let’s be honest this mostly boils down to Allison making him eat a bunch of stuff, not even waiting until he takes a bite himself but just putting it in his mouth because she wants to see whether he likes it).

(I hc that Allison can’t cook for shit but Ben has no real frame of reference unless you count blurry memories of what food used to taste like so it’s heaven to him and Allison is giddy).

They’re just cute, okay?

Allison/Vanya: ANGST. GAY ANGST. I mean, the guilt over what happened, Allison feeling like it’s her fault and treating Vanya all nice but Vanya stilll flinches everytime she sees the angry red scar across Allison’s throat. Plus, if Allison still can’t speak and will never speak again and Vanya tries her hardest to learn ASL with her so she doesn’t have to write down everything all the time.

Young Allison/Vanya with Vanya realising she’s queer and sneaking glances at Allison and immediately feeling guilty because she shouldn’t be looking, it’s wrong and dirty and Allison will hate her and-

Whereas she is completely missing the way Allison is looking back.

Also this ship can easily turn toxic with either of them - or both - getting overbearing after all that happened. And tbh, that’s just as exciting to write/think about.

That’s all I got for now but you’re welcome to talk more Allison/Allison ships with me!