#i love being made like im second best to an alternative option i love it i love it so much i want to fucking die!!!

[elusivefagguette]

I cannae take it anymore!!!

[asenvs3000f24]

Unit Seven Blog

What is music really? I’m asking that rhetorically, but also, to be honest, I don’t really know the answer. I have never had a good singing voice, nor have I ever been able to play an instrument, so I am probably not the most qualified person to speak on what music is. I’ll give it my best shot, though. Because I think there can be a very straightforward answer: music is made by singing and or by playing instruments, it can be written or composed ahead of time, or made up on the spot, and it is meant to evoke feelings from the audience. However, I think the alternative answer is that music is much less rigid and can come from any source, so long as the sounds we hear are ones that bring forth some kind of emotion.

It is through that second definition, that I believe music exists in nature. In my opinion, the sounds of nature themselves are very musical—the rustling of a breeze through the treetops, the crunching of leaves on the ground, and, of course, the more literal music of birdsong. Personally, the sounds of nature instill in me a feeling of peace and contentment; does that not make them musical? That these sounds are able to bring forth any emotion in me speaks to their musicality.

As for the inverse, where nature is in music, I once again think there’s a few options. One of the more obvious is just songs that are about nature or use the natural world to describe other things, like “Wildflower and Barley” by Hozier, or “The View Between Villages” by Noah Kahan. But there are also songs that aren’t necessarily about nature but, for one reason or another, remind us of the natural world—whether it’s because remind us of a particular event, contain a couple of lyrics that reference the environment, or bring up the same feelings we experience in nature.

A photo I took when I was fortunate enough to see Noah Kahan in concert and got to see him play "The View Between Villages" live. It certainly was extra powerful to me in that moment.

A great example of nature being represented in music is provided in Virpi Sahi’s article “Using folk traditional music to communicate the sacredness of nature in Finland.” In the article, Sahi reveals many insights about Finnish folk music and poetry, making a very interesting point to discuss all the different ways that these folk songs contribute to nature interpretation, such as by inspiring feeling, channeling shared experiences, and putting into words things that not everyone may know how to say. Specifically, Sahi notes the importance of experiencing these folk songs live, and I think anyone who has been to a live music event or concert can attest to how much more impactful the experience is in real life.

Personally, I can think of many songs that fit into all three of those categories, but one of my favourites is the song “Fear and Friday’s” by Zach Bryan. It’s not a song about nature, but reminds me of a trip I went on with my friends last summer. We went to the Silver Lake State Park in Michigan and listened to this song practically on repeat (not intentionally, but the cell reception was too bad to load any other playlists, and my friend only had one downloaded). The entire trip was spent outdoors—we went to the beach, sat around a campfire, ate breakfast on the patio, and of course, drove around the dunes. Now whenever I listen to that song, I am reminded of flying over the dunes and the pure joy I felt spending that time with my friends. These memories are something I am so grateful for, and I wouldn’t have them if it weren’t for the preservation of natural landscapes like the Silver Lake sand dunes. In my future as a nature interpreter, I hope to instill this kind of gratitude in others. If anyone has been to the Silver Lake sand dunes or would like to share a similar story, I would love to hear what you have to say.

These are two photos I took this past summer in Silver Lake. The image on the left is of some vehicles lined up along the top of one of the dunes. The image on the right is a view of the sunset over Lake Michigan.

[darknoverse]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers (optional) !

a- whole gush pass? all for little ol' me?????

*grabs papers*

ok soooooo a whole essay about NOS4a2 and why he matters to me sm as a f/o ever

k so, starting off.

what makes him special design wise?

first of all, his whole design is sharp and edgy(literally.lotta edges). each end is pointy and sharp . lotta triangles used in his design. but despite that there's something interesting about how he has a cape (something usually made out of soft fabrics) as a cover, but even so the sharpness REMAINS. something else is how he has like two different eyes, which one of them is a monocle which is slay idk lol. also something else is how he's not like- he doesnt look strong physically at first sight even tho he's trully capable of being so . also fangs; LITERAL energy vampire, it's so cool as a concept.

ok personality wise:

most of the times he's on scene, it's always this very classic "muahahaha evil" kinda deal, he's silly af. geniunely enjoying it . he keeps on making stupid unfunny jokes all the time and he laughs at his own stupid jokes lol. idk i think it's cute and sillly waaaaaaaaaaaaa

BUT! he's capabe of being TRULY TERRIFYING (like half the robotic gore in BLOSC is caused by him lol, also his plan in ROTM was dark af)

it's even more interesting cuz his motivations are simply, yes being in charge as a SECOND need. the FIRST need is mainly to feed on robots. SENTIENT ROBOTS. LIKE HE D O E S WANT TO FEEL THE THRILL OF THE KILL. HE COULD JUST DRAIN from lifeless machines, but he'd rather HUNT and play with his food, if you will.

it's just very interesting.

now, SPECIFICALLY WHY do I like Nos and why is he so important to me?

so in general i was/still am a villain apologist ok? i always loved villains, no matter how evil they were. it sortz felt really comforting. but something about Nos specifically felt very special . possibly the fact that the first episode i watched in general was Revenge of the monsters (aka the climax of his character in everyway) .so basically my first impression was based on seeing him in his best if u know what i mean . like if it was any other episode things would've gone differently but that's not the case as you see. like ROTM is like this whole bigger climax yk? say, if it was another episode there's a high chance zurg could've been my fav character but boy he literally ran like a coward in ROTM so i just didnt care much cuz he wasnt in the ep as much as NOS.

like yea in an alternate reality it could've been Zurg but NUH UH . Nos it is.

also the fact that ROTM is like, as i said, sorta sums up his whole character in a great way . so when I watch that episode i IMMEDIATLY got attached especially when my introduction to the series is this. both his ultimate downfall and like .. the top of his character arc . like, INSTANT attachement.

another thing to note is how like … the whole episodes sorta focused on his turning every Z to an N .

ok here i might start explaining things a bit too personally here but ok it's an essay . ok so the circumstances of me watching the show for the first time were…something.

see i didn't have much friends back then as a kid. even the ones i had were pretty much SO different and can't understand me cuz im that shy, weird kid who goes on info dumping about my interests it might get annoying. but nobody understood those interests except ONE friend. whom just left and idk where he is till now. another thing to add, being the weird kid sorta let people exclude me and/or bully me soooo yeah .

so my putting that into prespective with the whole Ns all over the place thing in that specific episode sort of.. made me relate ya know? feel like it's specifically an episode for me . there was something nice and comforting about it.

the fact that it's the first letter of my name (which at the time was a big deal cuz all my favs didnt specifically put that fact into like, part of the story like Nos if u get me.) like, something about a villain i KNOW has the first same letter in their name as me, being all goofy yet menacing, also a vampire of sort -i am obsessed since day one idk) just felt right.

last part of this might sound silly or stupid but like . another reason WHY i felt this connection to Nos specifically till now :

people i know irl did NOT know what blosc was.

even the few who knew, don't remember it or specifically know who Nos was when i asked them.

so it's like "damn. all this epic character being so obscure and unknown despite everything they did?…sounds like me "

so until i went online and find more blosc mutuals (and till i went to Uni where people know it somewhat and still take show suggestions seriously from me) it just felt like this one character was specificaly made for me . like, this one character nobody knows except me . cuz i'm just as unknown and as unnoticed irl .

conclusion:

and to this day that still stands . Nos is still one of the turning points in my life in general. be it in art , in social life , or in general anyways. still my favourite fictional character of all time . my Top 1 fav and my main comfort character along Antasma and Zira for similar reasons.

thank you for coming to my cringe talk btw and reading all this lol.

[stormyoceans]

Thoughts on talay's character arc? Thoughts on Puen's character arc? Thoughts on the development of their relationship? Thoughts on any part of this wonderful gift of a show??

ANON YOU'RE PLAYING A VERY DANGEROUS GAME HERE I COULD LITERALLY WRITE A WHOLE DISSERTION ABOUT VICE VERSA YOU GOTTA GIVE ME SOME LIMITATION IF WE BOTH WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS WITH OUR SANITY INTACT. it's probably a good thing that it's been a constant 48 hours goat screaming up in my head since the show ended and that im still nowhere near coherent enough to articulate my thoughts properly........

talay's character journey is actually one of my favorite things about the show (and this says quite a lot, considering i adore pretty much everything about it) and i think it's also one of the best i've ever seen depicted in a BL. i do feel like im lacking the right english words to explain myself rn, but there's been something so.. charming and heartening about watching this boy who didn't believe in love, who has always prioritized his dream career to the point he never allowed himself to even consider a romantic relationship, slowly opening up to the possibility of it

the way they handled it was also incredibly refreshing to me, because talay’s choice of putting work before love is never shown in a negative light, it’s simply a part of his character that helps the viewers build a sense of who talay is: someone driven, meticulous, logical…. but talay is also warm and caring and kind. he doesn’t need to change or put his dream aside to love and be loved, he just needs to leave some space for it and let himself feel. if in the end puen is asked to choose between work and love (and in his case that choice feels like a blessing, because he never had an option before), talay’s journey is all about learning that he doesn’t necessarily have to pick one or the other, but that the two can coexist

another thing i really appreciated is that the writers never rushed talay into realizing and accepting his feelings for puen, but they made him experience all these new and different emotions (both good and bad) and then actually gave him have the time to figure out what they meant. it was a slow process, but it felt incredibly natural, and drawing a parallel with the color pink was such a clever way to show the progress in talay's feelings

puen’s character journey is probably less evident, compared to talay’s, but it’s honestly just as good. i feel like we focus a lot on how the alternate universe gave puen the chance to learn about all the different kinds of love and affection he never got to experience in his life (not only romance, but friendship and family too), however i think a big part of his journey is also rediscovering himself and letting himself be puen

it probably sounds a bit of a contradiction, since he spent most of the series going by ‘tun’, but i’ve rewatched some scenes from the first few episodes and it’s really startling how much more contrived puen feels compared to the second half of the show. this isn’t to say he was being fake or insincere, but you can see he used to hide a lot behind the cool actor persona he had to build for himself, and it made me realize that i didn’t fully understand just how true puen’s words are when he tells talay “not many people see this side of me. you’re one of them” and “i’m like this with you only. when i’m with you i don’t act.” being with talay and travelling to the alternate universe helped puen reconnect with who he is, and it’s beautiful to see his real self coming out more and more throughout the episodes and have him realize that maybe being puen is not that bad

i think im gonna stop here because this is already too long and if i start on all the reasons why puentalay is the best couple with the best development ever i will be on my deathbed and still not done with it, but i said it before and im gonna say it again: puen and talay's journey of going from strangers to friends to lovers felt believable and realistic in a way few others ever did, not only in BLs but in other shows too. it was about two very different people who didn't know what love was helping each other grow and choosing each other over and over again. they fell in love, and it felt real

[free-pool-trash]

happiness - peter maximoff

yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻

!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!

word count: 5k <3 😳

warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is

feedback is appreciated <3

tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)

masterlist

haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime

leave it all behind

& there is happiness

Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.

There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.

He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.

Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?

It was only when he’d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.

And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.

Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.

Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.

His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.

He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.

When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.

But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.

It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.

That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.

You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.

That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.

As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.

Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.

Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.

But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.

“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.

He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.

With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.

It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.

“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.

The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.

What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.

There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.

Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.

You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.

In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.

As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”

The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.

Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.

While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.

“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.

For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.

He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.

If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.

If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.

You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.

“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.

“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.

In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.

“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.

Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.

His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.

As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.

Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.

Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.

You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.

However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.

Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.

You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.

With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.

“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.

Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.

It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.

You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.

“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.

“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.

“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.

“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.

“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.

“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.

“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.

Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.

Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”

Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.

“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.

“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.

You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”

Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”

“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.

Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”

A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.

“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.

“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”

“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.

Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.

“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.

“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.

Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”

Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.

You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.

“About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.

Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.

“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.

A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.

“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.

“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.

You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”

“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.

“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.

His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”

Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.

It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.

Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.

His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.

With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.

[the-hellsing-organisation]

Ordinarily I do not indulge in callout posts, unless a person's mental health might be in serious danger - and it's not a petty lie somebody made up, providing no screenshots, or simple ones taken out of context.

I have received multiple messages now, proving to me that the Hellsing Discord server 'The Hellsing Fanserver' lead by 'Artillery' is unfortunately a place people need to be warned about.

While everyone could assure me they do offer good scans of the Hellsing manga, the members of the server indulged in:

- Purposefully misgendering people

- Making fun of triggers, trans people and people with severe mental illnesses

- Purposefully using triggers against other server members

- Manipulating other people to use the triggers against the person they concern and shifting the blame on them afterwards

- Bringing explicit sexual themes to a server with minors

Afterwards they would celebrate their 'success', making fun of the people they hurt.

The so called 'trolling' (though I wouldn't dare to call such a hurtful behaviour this) was encouraged on the server, so I would deem it an unsafe environment for everyone whose mental health might be affected by such things.

Please be careful if these things concern you and please do not encourage such behaviour.

It's not only hurtful, it is downright cruel.

The invitations, though the links are expired.

Here you see some of the accounts that were directly involved.

Please be careful.

Tumblr Accounts

Discord Accounts

I can only assume alts mean something like alternative accounts he and his friends created in order to do these things, engaging others on the server to do the same.

He then proceeds to share the success of the hurtful behaviour on before mentioned Discord server, commenting such:

^ The “he” they are referring to is a demi girl. And yes, on the other server the pronouns are clearly stated and everyone is asked to respect them.

He is downright admitting openly to have his friends manipulated other people to use the triggers against another person.

(For context: A server members triggers were ‘Borderlands” and ‘Kingdom Hearts’.

He stated this trigger a few hours before and unfortunately the mod, after a sleepless night, was unable to memorise it during that time so ‘Abd’ took advantage of it.

Another mod quickly drew attention to her mistake and of course she apologised to the person she triggered and was forgiven.)

Unfortunately many screenshots - involving the sexual advances and the 'making fun of transgenders' are missing due to the default ban option of the server, but several eye witnesses were able to confirm them.

There was a person pretending to be a transwoman to make fun of transpeople (The person was introducing themselves like: ‘Hello, I am a man, my pronouns are he/him, but I wish to be a woman’ It didn’t sound very genuine to the trans people on the server), people making up all sorts of triggers to make fun of people who have triggers, a person pretending to be a kin, and people, who were trying to spread paedophilic messages with spreading the news that ‘age is just a number’.

And in case people still believe it was an accident:

They deliberately threaten people and plan to hurt them, while making fun of their triggers.

I’m truly lost for words…

For everyone who didn’t know: It is not your place to judge triggers and for the love of God, please don’t make fun of them.

You don’t know the history behind them. It’s good if you have none yourself, it really is, but it shouldn’t make you blind to another person’s suffering.

And you certainly shouldn’t encourage other people to “hunt” people with triggers “down” and “go to war” against them.

Also the owner of server is openly hostility against lgbtq + people - especially trans people - , PoC and antisemitic jokes are the norm there.

They too use nationalist-socialist symbols as emojis in their servers, so people who are triggered by such symbols should be careful.

“Jew Alert”

Blaming one group for the action of singular people should us remind too much of darker parts in history.

I know people with the same experience, that doesnt mean they should actively seek out ot destroy the mental health of all trans people, because one of them hurt them.

Let the submitted texts speak for themselves.

And just in case if anybody believes those are fake:

As soon as Satan saw them, he pmed another person:

Those screenshots are real. They are not fake, like he claims they are and he admits that making fun of trigger and trans people was part of his “troll introductions”.

And just in case anybody is wondering if there are truly toxic trolls on this server? This is a submission I got:

When the original is:

Im sorry.

What they did should speak for itself, but don't try to add lies here. Lies that are obviously having their origin in the server itself.

If you still believe the attacks on this blog didn't come from the server:

This is what Artillery posted as soon as he found this post.

After this the attacks started [as you can see here], so don't tell me your server is not responsible and keep your NSFW implications out of a server with minors and away from this blog!

Also you being an immigrant has nothing to do with the fact, that your server is not safe for minors, lgtbq+ people - especially transpeople - people with trauma and poc.

Even if you claims are real - your and your friends prejudices against the other groups remain.

Satan apologised openly and promised to take better care of people mental health.

The emojis however will remain, though we have been told they have specific channels for offensive jokes.

“In our discussions with the tumblr group, we realized that the situation was far more complicated than we realized. There is a a third party, not associated with us or the tumblr group, who is deliberately spreading false information with the presumed agenda of causing drama and conflict between us. With this in mind, we've agreed the best course of action is to mutually end the escalation of conflict and apologize for what occured. Following that, I want to again make clear that nobody should be going after the tumblr group, their discord server, or anywhere other online spaces. We don't know where the tumblr trolls came from, but we do not support them. Their statements were racist, antisemitic, and violent. What we did in their server was wrong and a mistake. 

I want to personally apologize to a few specific people for what happened. Their server got raided, and during all of it we did not take their mental health into account, causing a lot of people to have panic attacks. Their triggers were invalidated, and people were manipulated. There were also a lot of innapropriate and offensive statements involved. While many things happened without my knowledge, it spiraled out of control because of the initial server raid, and I want to offer my sincerest apologies for that, and for everything else.”

Update:

He lied. He doesn’t regret anything.

Do you remember how he claimed he never ordered an attack on anybody?

Yes.... that was a lie.

He did plan to attack, though one member - the one they would later throw out of the admin team stopped him from attacking more people.

It should have given us red flags they would ban the only member from the team who was actively against the bullying.

And as we see here they did attack the second time as soon as the opportunity arouse when Artillery were sending people after us after saying we should suck his d*.

So he didnt learn a thing. Please survivors stay save.

[sunatooru]

well hello there ive been feeling really crappy lately because im just sick and tired of always being the second option/rebound and never being good enough for first so i was wondering if you can do an emergency request of nishinoya, bokuto, and any other character(s) you think would be good at comforting their s/o about this

Hello! I understand how bad that can feel but I assure you, you’re more than enough to be first choice. I hope these help and I added Sugawara too xx

~

Warning: reader feeling like a second choice by others, not feeling like they’re enough to be first choice

~

Nishinoya

* He’s someone who always aims to show people their worth

* He’ll never make someone feel less important

* He sees you sitting, lost in thought and decides to rest his head on your lap

* “What’s wrong cutie?” He gives your chin a little pinch

* He jolts up when you talk about never feeling like you’re anyone’s first choice, how you must be lacking for people to not have you as a priority

* “Who has made you feel like this? What?! Baby! You’re not second best! You’re not a rebound or alternative choice. To me, you’re first choice. Best choice. I didn’t know you felt like this and I hope I’ve ever made you feel like that.“ he cups your face and stares softly into your eyes

* “You’re so wonderful, amazing, cool and nice. If someone doesn’t make you their first choice then they’re missing out.” He grins, caressing your cheek before pulling you close

* “I’m sorry that you’ve felt this way but I’ll make sure to show you why you’ll always be first choice everyday.”

* He presses his lips against yours, making a mental note to order your favourite takeaway

Bokuto

* He cherishes you so much

* Always calls you first, makes sure to remind you how much he loves you and loves sending you a quick selfie

* He’s never once made you feel like you’re not special but others have

* It’s during one of your text conversations that he realises you seemed sad

* He rushes to meet you at your house

* One hand holding a bag or snacks and another with your favourite stuffed animal

* When you greet him, he notices the slump in your shoulder and gently asks you what wrong

* He’s so taken back by you feeling like a second choice by the way people treat you

* “No no no, what? Who? Me? Why? Wait wait.” He sits at your feet as you sit on the sofa

* “You’re not a second option. Not to me. Never. You’re so wonderful! Beautiful! Cute! You have everything someone wants!” He holds both your hands in his, kissing them and looking up at you

* “Anyone who’s made you feel this way didn’t deserve you in the first place. You’re so nice and kind and you make me so happy. I’ll never see you as not being my number 1. I love you so much and I’ll keep showing you why you deserve only good things!” You play with his hair as he rests his chin on your thigh

* He jumps up and pulls you into the tightest hug, pressing kisses all over your face and making you laugh

* He smiles watching you squeal in his grip

Sugawara

* if there’s anyone who knows what being a second option feels like, it’s him

* Although it was tough when he got switched out for Kageyama, he learned to accept and not let it bring him down

* Because he knows the feeling, he does his best to keep you happy and never feeling like you’re not enough

* Because you were enough. Are enough.

* It’s your weekly movie night, you’re both cuddled on the sofa but he could sense your focus was on something else

* “Sweetheart? You okay?” He shifts so he can look at your properly

* You didn’t mean for your voice to shake but it was enough to worry him

* “Second option? Rebound? What...” is all he can say at first

* “Anyone who’s made you feel like that didn’t realise what they could’ve had. Aren’t I lucky that I got you instead?” He thumbs your cheek and smiles

* “You’re not second choice. You’re good enough to be first choice. You’re more than enough, actually. If people can’t realise how awesome, kind and wonderful you are, then that’s their problem. Never doubt yourself, baby. It can be hard but accepting yourself makes others opinions matter less. As long as you don’t hurt anyone and are happy then it doesn’t matter. Be your first choice.” He kisses your forehead, tip of your nose and gives you a deep kiss

* “I’ll show you why you’ll always be my first choice” he grins and pulls you in for another kiss

* What movie was playing again? Who knows

[jamilelucato]

Your Embrace

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Requests:

1. @witchglow​ hey love! congratulations on your followers! 🥺💗 can i request fred weasley x reader on which they are on the grimmauld place is not have beds for all so they have to share the bed, then they end up hugging or something like and the other day they wait and are super embarrassed, but in the end the two admit that they can share the bed whenever they want (im sorry if it got confused 😿) thank u, stay safe 💗😼💖

2. @whizbangs-78​ congrats on 1.5k followers!!! could i request a fred weasley x reader with the one bed trope pleaseee??? thank youuu c: also if you're requests for this are closed feel free to ignore thank youu c: congrats on the milestone, again!!

A/N: since the requests were very similar, I decided to combine both of them, hope you two like it! again, I can’t seem to write short fics.

Send a request! ||  Harry Potter Masterlist ||  Musical Hogwarts Series

It was late in the night when Professor McGonagall fetched you and all of the Weasleys to go to Dumbledore so you could all take a Portkey back to Grimmauld Place. The Professor said something had happened with Arthur Weasley; so all of his children, you and Harry were taken away from Hogwarts. 

It wasn’t the protocol getting you to travel too, but since you were awake when Professor McGonagall showed up in a hurry and told you to fetch Ginny, you managed to convince McGonagall that you would’ve to come with the Weasleys.

When finally there, nobody was able to stay still. 

Fred and George were desperately trying to convince someone to take them to St. Mungo’s, even though Sirius repeated that it was not the smartest thing to do. The best was waiting inside of the House of Black even if it was not easy.

You noticed Fred and George weren’t going to let Sirius have a moment of peace — if there could be one at this point — so you requested a tour around the place since it was your first time there.

Reluctantly, Fred and George walked you around the house.

“He’s gonna be alright, come on; you both know it,” you said while walking through some sort of music room — it had a piano at least. “Your dad’s tough.”

George sighed but remained in silence. It was Fred that spoke.

“You can’t be sure of that. ”

You sat down in the piano, running your fingers carelessly over the musical instrument. Thankfully, the sound that came of that wasn’t loud.

“I can’t, you’re right,” you lamented, gulping.

Fred and George stared at themselves — they were in opposite corners of the room — and then they looked down at you in the piano stool.

“Sorry I was rude,” gasped Fred, stepping closer to you.

He was already taller than you, but with you sitting, the difference started to actually hurt your neck.

You shrugged in response. Fred knew you weren’t mad at him, he didn’t need to hear you say it. However, for just a second, he gazed down at you, locked in your eyes. Those moments were happening with more frequency, and that kinda worried him. He was sure he was being too obvious, and you would soon realize you saw him as more than just friends.

But you were too worried about your own obviousness towards fancying Fred to notice he liked you as well.

George looked around the room, trying really hard to not make a sound and interrupt the moment. He knew how much his twin fancied you. He suspected you desired Fred too, but he wasn’t sure yet.

You fake coughed, totally ruining the moment on purpose. Gosh, if Fred finds out I like him, he’ll never talk to me again, you thought, turning to face the piano.

“Do you guys know how to play?” you asked, running your fingers over it once again.

Fred and George exchanged looks before bursting in laughter.

“Do you take us for pianists?” George asked back before laughing again.

You should have paid more attention — they seriously didn’t look like musicians. Even so, you three squizzed yourselves in the one stool and attempted to produce music. Each of the twins sat in one of your sides, and you had to concentrate a lot to act normal with Fred’s proximity. You two were practically breathing the same air. 

George’s here too, you freak, you thought, biting your inner cheek.

At ten past five in the morning, after a dozen attempts to play Für Elise — you three couldn’t even pass the third note —, Mrs Weasley stopped by the house.

As soon as Fred and George heard the doo, they jumped out of the stool.

“ ‘S gotta be mum,” said Fred. All the calm he had gained with playing the piano with you disappeared.

“Let’s see her,” said George and they walked away of the music room without waiting for you.

You sighed, closing the piano fallboard before getting up and heading out. 

Of course, you were worried about their father, but you were also very, very tired. They were sleeping when the Professor fetched them, but you had been wide awake by the fireplace trying to finish a book you were desperate to know the end. Now, you couldn’t care less.

When you got to the kitchen, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Fred and George were around Mrs Wealsey, analyzing every word she had to say.

“We can all go and see him later,” she finished saying. It was probably a phrase that had started before you got downstairs, but there was no need to hear more — if they could go see him, it meant he’d be alright.

Fred turned his face around, looking for you, and when he found your eyes, he pressed his lips together tightly. It was his way of saying he was sorry again because you actually turned out to be correct.

“Oh, y/N, my dear, I didn’t know you were here too,” said Mrs Weasley, interrupting your discreet moment with Fred.

“Yeah,” you said, having no idea of what to say beyond that. It was weird and unexpected your presence there. Not even Hermione was there, and she was always around Ron.

You didn’t spend much time with the whole Weasley family; just Hogwarts time with Fred and George. Sometimes, you’d share trips to Hogsmeade with Ginny, but that was it.

“The more, the merrier!” said Sirius, getting up from his chair with a tender smile.

“Sure hope you think that, Sirius, ‘cause we might stay for Christmas,” said Mrs Weasley, clenching her jaw.

Sirius chuckled. “If you promise to cook.”

“Of course!” smiled Mrs Weasley, and Ginny giggled in the back.

Breakfast was served, and it was weird eating it before having slept, but nobody seemed to care. It wasn’t as good as Hogwarts’ feasts, but you didn’t mind. The fact that you were actually there — headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, organization you only heard Fred and George mention — made the details unimportant.

“You five should sleep after eating,” said Mrs Weasley, who was up behind the chairs where Fred and George were sitting. “We can visit your dad later.”

Fred seemed about to protest when his mom touched his shoulder softly, but it was a clear warning for her son to not complain, and so, Fred shut.

Harry joined some minutes later, after a long conversation with Sirius Black — who was, to you, an honour to meet. You knew that, although the Ministry was painting him as a villain, he could only be pure of heart, so much Harry spoke well of the man.

“Fred, honey, would you mind sharing your bed with George?” asked Mrs Wealsey when she noticed that her boys had finish eating. “There won’t be an extra bed for y/N, I’m afraid.”

Fred snorted, annoyed, and said: “Mum, George can’t sleep still; you know how much he moves around!”

George didn’t even bother being offended — he knew his twin was telling the truth.

Mrs Weasley puckered her forehead, thinking an alternative through. Ginny couldn’t share the bed with you — the youngest Weasley had already gotten upstairs to her bed and was probably deep sleeping right now. Ron was never pleased with sharing, and she would never bother Harry, who was being a dear just help Arthur Weasley being rescued.

“I suppose you and y/N could share it then,” said Mrs Weasley, noticing that was her only option left. She concluded you and Fred would be too tired to try anything under her nose. She was only half right about that, though. “Take my bed that is bigger in the other room, and I take your single.”

George sighed with the thought of sleeping in the same room with his mom like a toddler.

You and Fred, on the other hand, couldn’t stand to look at each other. Every time you tried, you would feel your cheeks turning red, and you would look away.

However, neither of you complained to Mrs Weasley about it, scared to lose an opportunity to be closer to each other. After helping with the dishes, you both headed, side by side, to the mentioned room.

Fred cleared his throat as you lay with your bellies up, taking extreme care not to touch each other.

“Thanks for earlier, with the music and all. It was a great distraction,” Fred said, turning just enough to see your face.

Oh, how gorgeous she is! he thought.

Your hair loose over the pillow, his big hands rested over his abdomen, your faces blushed with the closeness... 

You turned to face Fred before replying. “My mum used to play me songs in our guitar back through the first war,” you said, biting your inside cheek, suddenly embarrassed fo sharing such a personal memory. 

Fred knew that your father had died in the first war, you two had talked about it before. But it was never something that caused you pain — you were much too young when he died. It was the days when growing up, seeing the neighbours’ kids with their fathers and you having only your mom — that was when it started hurting. And that was when your mom started playing music to calm you.

“I find it quite relaxing,” you said.

“I sure was relaxed with you,” Fred said before blushing, ashamed with his unexpected confession. 

You gulped, unsure of what to say or do. You decided it was best to remain silent because Fred probably felt relaxed with all of his friends.

There was nothing left to be said, and Fred really needed to sleep if he wanted to see his father later, so you returned to your first position — facing the ceiling. You never knew, but, without your eyes staring deep into his, he was finally able to fall asleep.

On the other hand, it took you a couple more minutes to travel to the dreamland. Knowing that Fred was closer than ever before made you feel more awake than if you had slept all day. Of course, that was just a false sensation your subconscious tricked you with — soon, you were sleeping too.

“Come on, love birds! Mum wants us to come now!” yelled a voice, pulling the blankets away from you.

“Be more gentle, George,” advised another voice.

“Come on, you two!” shouted the male voice again.

It toom you a couple of seconds to finally open your eyes and take a glimpse of who owned the voices that were disturbing the most peaceful nap you had ever gotten.

Ginny stared at you with a wan smile while George held in one of his hands the cosy blanket that was once over you. But their faces were hiding something, and it was just when George smirked to you that you decided to sit up.

Fred was thinking of doing the exact same thing as you, but he was having more trouble with it since you were practically all over him.

Yeah, that’s right.

The cosiness and warmness didn’t come from the blanket — it came from Fred Weasley.

He was still laying with his belly up, but over his abdomen, you had arranged yourself, in some sort of embrace or hug. So, obviously, you blushed right away — your whole face redder than the Weasleys’ hair.

Fred was blushing too, but since you had hidden your face over your pillow — the exact one you clearly didn’t use to sleep — you weren’t able to see.

“Get out,” he muttered with grinding teeth. George pretended to be angry and walked away, tossing the blanket over the bed with no caution. Ginny took one last glimpse around before whispering for you two to not be late.

Fred sighed before taking the pillow over your head.

“They’re gone,” he said with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry for... well, wherever was that. I probably am a sleepwalker or something; I swear I didn’t place myself over your chest on purpose,” you said, biting your lip and facing him with hope in your eyes — hope that he would believe you were not a maniac.

Fred wished you had done that on purpose because that had been the most comfortable he had ever felt in a bed.

“Don’t worry about it. Sorry about my siblings,” he said, finally getting up. “I’m gonna see my mum and make sure we’re going to St. Mungo’s too.”

“We?” you echoed the word out loud, but he had already left the room, and so, he didn’t hear.

You were planning on going with the Weasleys, sure, but you didn’t know they wanted you there as well. Well, at least Fred did.

You gave Fred a few minutes to get downstairs before you. When you got there, everybody seemed to be waiting just for you.

“Sorry for not waking you up earlier, dear. You both looked so relaxed,” said Mrs Weasley, stepping towards you. She held you by your shoulders. “I prepared both of you sandwiches, so you can eat faster.”

She let your shoulders go and grabbed one sandwich over the table — the second one was already half-eaten by Fred Weasley in the other corner of the kitchen. You were too embarrassed thinking that even Molly saw you hugging Fred in your sleep to say something other than thank you.

“Your trunks are here too,” the woman mentioned, with a small smile. Fred finished his sandwich, so you hurried to finish yours. “Tonks? Mad-Eye?”

With Mrs Weasley calling, both of the mentioned walked in the kitchen and Ginny rushed to Tonks, hugging her tightly.

“Nymphadora?” you asked, almost choking on the last bite. The short pink hair was the essential clue for you to connect the surname to the person. You just didn’t call Tonks Tonks, it was a childish habit, but it was unforgettable.

“Don’t call me...! Hey, it’s you!” exclaimed Tonks, as soon as Ginny freed her and ran to your side, hugging you. “You grew up, Merlin!”

You let out a hearty laugh while struggling to breath. Tonks finally freed you, but still stayed by your side. You knew each other because you were neighbours for a while, and often your mother alone could not take care of you — Nymphadora always offered (for a sickle a day) to babysit.

If it was up for you and Tonks, you’d have stayed the day talking, but Mrs Weasley kindly reminded there was a place you needed to be. 

The trip to St.Mungo’s was, to say the least, embarrassing. Every time Fred would lock eyes with you, your cheeks would turn red, and it felt like everyone knew how you too slept. Together, tightly, legs intertwine... Yeah, you had to fight yourself to not remember those things.

Thankfully, you and Tonks got a minute to talk when the family walked in with Harry to see Arthur Weasley. She told you everything about her job and how she liked to now be a part of the Order. “Sure Dumbledore will ask you to join when you come of age,” she even mentioned with a nudge of shoulders. 

The Weasleys trooped back into the corridor. Tonks glanced at you, but she already knew you weren’t going to come in, so she went in with Mad-Eye and closed the door behind them. Fred raised his eyebrows towards you — he wasn’t seriously expecting you had something to talk with his father, right? — but then George suggested to listen behind the door, and everybody was distracted for a moment.

After that espionage, Harry Potter started acting odd as ever, but definitely not more than you and Fred. Ginny and George would look from Fred to you, and then they would giggle. Somehow, that was making matters worse.

Back at the headquarters, things still weren’t easy.

“Ginny, would you mind sleeping with y/N?” whispered Mrs Weasley in what she hoped was a tone you wouldn’t hear, but you did. You stepped away as quickly as you had stepped in, and turned around, desperately trying not to overhear that conversation.

So Fred asked to not sleep with you again. That was presumable but still unpleasant. 

Ron asked for your help to decorate the house for Christmas, and you accepted gladly, hoping the task would take your mind out of Fred.

Ron was worried about Harry — he seemed to think whatever Harry heard Mad-Eye talk upset him. You agreed and added that Ron should just give Harry some time, without pushing him.

Ginny joined to help, and as soon as Ron went to the back to get a stair, Ginny rushed to your side and elbowed you.

“So, don’t know if you heard, but I told mum I wouldn’t sleep with you,” she said with a smile.

You almost dropped the ornament in your hand.

“Sorry?”

“So you can sleep with Fred again, duh!” she kept the smile on.

“Hm, Ginny, I’m pretty sure your brother doesn’t want that to happen again,” you said, avoiding to look at her happy face. “He asked your mum to change the place I was sleeping in.”

“What? No, y/N! Where did you get that idea? Mum’s the one trying to part you too,” Ginny laughed at your ridiculousness. “She thinks you two are secretly dating and she can’t let ‘Fred make her a grandma so early’.’’

Your eyes widened as you slowly turned to face Ginny, but first making sure no other Weasley was around.

“Her words, not mine,” added Ginny quickly and she burst into laughter staring at your silly face.

“Good Lord. I hope you corrected her about my relationship with Fred,” you sighed, pressing a hand over your heart. “I completely forgot she had gotten a glimpse at us this morning,” you whispered, just to yourself really.

“Why would I correct her? He wants you, you want him. Just a matter of time ’til she’s right” said Ginny and she started running away from you because the face you made was positively scary.

When decorations were up, and Christmas spirit was finally in the house, it was already time for bed again. Fred and George had gotten upstairs before you because you pretended to be really interested in Mrs Weasley’s knitting. The truth was you didn’t want to face Fred again.

You sighed, giving up in your fight. You should face Fred once and for all. Speak the truth, walk away and sleep in the couch downstairs.

But when you got into the room, and you saw his face, you just froze. He was laying on the bed with his belly up and his eyes closed — for a moment, you thought he was sleeping, but then his breathing wouldn’t be completely unregulated.

“Fred?” your voice was too high, and you ended up scaring him. He jumped up, sitting down immediately. “Sorry,” you muttered, sitting down in front of him.

You both breathed hard. Fred seemed to want to say something, but you would never know because you interrupted his half-open mouth with yours.

You kissed him in a rashed and inexperience way, after all, he didn’t expect that. And, honestly, neither did you.

Fred suspected that either you would ignore him forever and pretend that the nap shared in an embrace never happened or that you would hit him and kick him out of the room. Feeling your lips on his was a more fanciful idea than any he has ever had.

It took Fred a little while to get rid of the shock, but when he realized that you were kissing him because you wanted to, he gave in, pulling you by your waist and sitting you over his lap. He smirked in the middle of the kiss, causing you to let a slight giggle out. Your hands went from his cheekbone to his hair, and you played with it with pleasure.

“If I knew the way to your heart was napping with you, I’d have done it sooner,” Fred whispered, breathing hard when your lips were away from his.

You smiled, “you got to my heart way before you slept with me, Fred Weasley.”

He squeezed your waist, pushing you away just enough so he could see your face. You blushed when your eyes met.

“Good to know that,” he smiled too. “ ‘Cause I’ve been thinking all day that you were ignoring me, that you hated me... ”

“I thought you were ignoring me!”

You two giggled at your stupidy.

“Sorry for kissing you out of nowhere,” you sighed, slowly placing your hands on his shoulders.

“You are welcomed to do it anytime you want,” he said, looking down to your lap still over his.

“Like now?” you smirked too. “Because I feel we lost too much time sleeping today...”

“Y/N, I’ve been thinking exactly the same thing,” he susurrated and smirked, pulling you closer to his chest and kissing you harder than before.

And this time was just perfect.

__

Bonus:

“So how was last night?” Ginny asked as soon as you steeped in the kitchen the next morning.

You could have stayed in bed curled in Fred forever — you sure wanted to— but you knew that if Mrs Weasley had any more reason to believe you and Fred were together, nights in the same bed would be over.

And so, doing the things you did last night would be way harder to achieve.

“What you mean?” you asked, grabbing a mug of hot cocoa.

“Please,” Ginny rolled her eyes. “See that look in my brother’s face? Last time I saw him that happy was when he got a new broom.”

You turned your face insignificantly to see Fred, who was sitting at the end of the table, eating some sort of bread with Geoge right next to him.

You frowned slightly to Ginny, who rolled her eyes more time.

“Good Merlin, I won’t be able to be two meters near you two, will I?”

You giggled and tried to hide your smile with the mug. Fred heard the sound of your laugh and instantly turned to your direction. His eyes wandered your whole face, and he fixed them in your mouth. He licked his lips before smiling and blink, and then he turned to his twin as if he was paying attention to George all along.

When your heart started beating again, the rest of the Weasleys and Sirius Black had gotten to the kitchen too.

“Where’s Harry?” Ginny asked Ron, but he shrugged. Harry was going through his own problems. “Well, anyway, pay up, will you, Ronniekins.”

“What?” he looked at Ginny, “wait, what?” he looked at you. “Couldn’t have waited one more night, could you?”

Ginny smiled when Ron tossed her a sickle.

“You guys placed a bet over Fred and me?” you whispered to the red-haired girl.

“Sure I did, and I won,” Ginny smiled while you rolled your eyes. “If it makes you feel any better, Fred lost. He said you would never like him back.”

Your eyes went from Ginny to Fred across the table, and for a minute while you looked at him, you forgot his entire family was there, and you sighed like a girl in love. Well, that was what you were anyway.

When you and Fred finally got time alone, you gave him a sickle.

“You should never have bet against us,” you said, placing the coin in his hand.

“Never doing that again,” he promised with a soft smile before pulling you close one more kiss.

[alittlewhump]

Unbidden - Act 1, chapter 8

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Content warnings: death mention, possible minor body horror with regards to injury

It had been a fortnight since Andariel. Morgan was adjusting to his new reality, one where speaking much louder than a whisper for more than a few sentences made it feel like he'd been screaming his throat raw. Where pain was out of proportion to the damage that caused it. Where his left arm was all but useless. Although he felt well enough to get up and move around, the wound on his arm showed no signs of closing. An inky colouration had spread out from the puncture, extending up above his elbow and down to his wrist. It turned his stomach to look at it. Any remaining strength in the limb was negated by the pain that shot through it at the slightest jostle or pull. Akara's expertise in the healing arts was not sufficient to handle a wound like this, caused by a demon queen and determined to linger. She had offered her sympathies and a supply of bandages, which at least allowed him to bind the damned thing so he didn't have to see it. His own limited knowledge of medicine did not extend to this manner of injury either, so simply keeping it covered and clean seemed like the best option available.

Morgan had been spending most of his time and energy on meditation and geomancy. Physical pursuits were not very attractive at the moment, so instead he focused on improving his magic. He would need it more than ever now, given the state of his arm. Eventually he would return to the graveyard he'd marked, to check on the restless spirits there, but he wasn't yet well enough for that journey.

The ground around the encampment was largely untended, but the soil was good. Morgan had been using it to flex his magical abilities cautiously, not wanting them to suffer from disuse. He turned small patches at a time, shuffling the richer earth up toward the surface bit by bit, until eventually there was a respectable area prepared. Nobody had asked him to install a garden, but it felt like it might be a useful contribution. It also helped to ground him. He had often tended the gardens back home, and found now that he was missing that work.

Short forays into the surrounding fields were still within the scope of Morgan's ability. Over the course of about a week, he'd managed to successfully transplant a reasonable variety of usable plants. Comfrey, feverfew, yarrow, and chamomile had all been easy enough to spot, and each had at least one medicinal use. They also had the benefit of being reasonably hardy, taking root well in the freshly turned earth. He had also experimented a little with some preparations of other plants he'd found - an outcrop of sway grass by a small lake, some sage nestled in among a patch of bright trefoil, a little bark from the willow just outside the encampment - but despite following standard procedures for preparation, none of the resultant concoctions did anything to relieve the pain of his injury. He took some fruits from what looked like an oleaster, intending to dry them for another attempt in the future, but he kept his expectations low. If the wound wasn't going to heal properly, it stood to reason that the other effects would also linger.

Cain had been good company, stopping by often. He inquired about the garden as it was talking shape and seemed legitimately interested in the various applications of the plants filling it. Morgan took care not to speak at too much length on any one topic, endlessly interesting though they were. Equally fascinating were the tales Cain had to share in exchange. The story of Tristram had been a sobering one, between the king's corruption by Diablo and the destruction it had wrought. And it seemed that it was not yet concluded, given the hero-turned-dark-wanderer who had fled. It would be worth pursuing that tale to its conclusion; Morgan's original request had been duly fulfilled, but the evident threat to the Balance was more pressing than returning to the Necropolis.

He'd also been alternating between meditating on ways to improve his clay golems and creating small versions to test the changes he'd thought of. So far he had come up with a lot of failed designs, going too far to the extremes to test the boundaries. A build with above average mobility that would crumble in combat, a strong and sturdy make that could absorb a great deal of punishment but would be too slow to hit anything that wasn't standing still. Now it was time to rein it in, to tinker with proportions and the flow of magic through the construct until something better emerged. Morgan slipped easily into the in-between state, retreating into his mind while his body rested in a comfortable cross-legged position. A pleasant breeze ruffled the leaves of the tree he was leaning against. Today would be good for focusing on the smaller details. He lost himself for a time in the contemplation of his designs.

A crawling, prickling discomfort pulled him back into reality. The sun was getting low in the sky. Someone had put their hand on his shoulder, and they were speaking to him.

"- word I've said, have you?" It was Blaise, looking annoyed.

Morgan shifted away from her, and she let her hand fall. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't hear you. I was meditating." The rough sound of his voice was another thing he was still getting used to. He rubbed his throat gingerly. Should have thought to keep some water nearby.

"Of course you were. I said, I talked to Kashya and she's agreed to give you some training. If you're going to keep fighting monsters and demons, you'll need some help. With your swordplay. It's not very good."

She was right, of course. Now that he could no longer hold a shield, his sword would have to be defensive as well - and magic had always been his strength, not actual physical strength or coordination. He'd been planning to refocus himself entirely on the magical side of things, but this was undeniably a good idea even if he didn't relish the prospect of physical training. Any formal instruction in the use of a sword would be useful.

"When?"

"You're welcome. Whenever you're ready. As soon as tomorrow." Instead of turning to go, she sat next to him. He expected her to keep talking, but she didn't. Maybe she was working up to something. The silence stretched uncomfortably. She didn't like him, she'd often said as much - so why was she staying so near? He'd been doing his best to be avoidable, true to his word. She hadn't been taking advantage of it, instead crossing his path at least once a day. Probably some sort of sense of obligation. The Sisterhood had been treating him with a cautious, grudging respect since Andariel's defeat. It was... strange.

That reminded him of a question he'd been meaning to ask. Now seemed as good a time as any, so he turned to study her. "Blaise. Why did you tell everyone I killed Andariel?"

She startled visibly and raised a hand to shush him. "What the hell, Morgan," she hissed, "you can't just say-" she cut herself off, looking around furtively. Apparently satisfied that nobody was eavesdropping, she continued in hushed tones. "Look, if Akara and Kashya knew I killed that big ugly bitch, they'd never let me get away from this backwater. It's different for you. They're expecting you to go. And when you leave, I'm going with you. At least until I'm well away from here. This place... I'm not really cut out to be part of something like this."

"Ah." That explanation made enough sense. He hadn't realized she wanted to leave, but then he often didn't realize things about other people. Perhaps he'd misinterpreted her loyalty as fondness. There wasn't always a correlation there. She hadn't exactly been talkative during their time together - not to him, not about personal wishes and desires. It also explained the closeness; by spending time around him, she was putting on a front, laying the groundwork that would justify her departure. Satisfied, he turned away to look at the sky. It was starting to be tinged with pink, and it was lovely to see.

"How do you do it?" Now it was her turn to scrutinize him. She was staring intently at his face as though it was going to hold anything other than confusion. Do what? Had he slipped back into his thoughts and missed part of the conversation? "I mean, doesn't it bother you?" That clarified nothing. He stared blankly, and she huffed. "People don't like you. As a necromancer. I mean, we didn't exactly give you a warm welcome. But there's no way it's just us. Your kind are... well, hated."

Oh, that. It was just a fact. He'd come to accept it easily enough. People didn't usually take kindly to him even before they knew his particular area of specialization. He shrugged, wondering idly what had lead to the question. She didn't seem to like that response.

"It's normal," he offered.

"It's not normal! How could you think that's normal? How do you... live with it?" She gesticulated, as though the waving of her hands might clarify her meaning. It did not. How else would he live? He took a moment to search for the words to frame it.

"As followers of Rathma, we are driven by pursuit of the Balance. What others think of us is not important."

"Not im- Morgan, of course it's important! The way people treat you matters. You have to rely on other people all the time."

"I try not to."

Blaise pinched the bridge of her nose as though the conversation was giving her a headache. "Yeah, I know you do. But sometimes you don't have a choice. Like - there's no way you could have gone up against Andariel alone, she would have killed you in a second."

"Mm." While certainly true, it didn't change much. Alone, he would have been more cautious, planned better. Probably died anyway. Others would have come to take his place. His individual life only held value in the contribution it could make toward the Balance. Death came inevitably to all things; to die in service was at least honourable.

Blaise seemed agitated. "I don't think you understand - this is life and death stuff. For fuck's sake, you nearly did die! When-" she lowered her voice, which had risen in frustration. It shook a little. "When I brought you to Akara, she argued with me. She didn't want to waste her supplies on you. She was just going to let you die on her doorstep, because she doesn't like you. That's not normal. You can't just think that's okay."

It certainly wasn't extraordinary. That was why necromancers generally brewed their own potions, not that he'd had either the time or the forethought to reach for his own during the encounter. He started to shrug again. Akara had been pleasant enough since - oh. All the pieces came together suddenly, but the picture they formed didn't quite make sense. Blaise had lied to save him. She'd decided, probably on an impulse, out of desperation, to frame him as the hero because the healer wasn't going to touch him otherwise. She had wanted him to live, and had sacrificed her own part in the story to ensure his survival.

Of course, that type of instinctively selfless behaviour was part of the reason he'd decided she was a genuinely good person. But having that kindness extended to him - that was new. He didn't quite know what to make of it. People weren't kind to him, as a rule. That was familiar, at least, predictable. It didn't feel like he'd done anything to earn this special treatment. He'd have to tread carefully.

"It's what I'm used to," he said quietly. "Death comes to all things. We do not expect others to delay it for us. But you... are extraordinary." It didn't really feel adequate, but he would need some time to process this new information, and the moment would be long past by then. "Thank you," he added. That also felt shallow. He had no reference to draw from - what was the appropriate way to convey this tangle of feelings? Indebtedness, surprise, gratitude, admiration, and those were just the aspects he had names for. He purposely held her gaze for a moment, hoping she would be able to glean something from that since his words weren't doing the job.

Blaise opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. Instead, she stood and stretched. "I bet you haven't even eaten today. Come on, Charsi made these beautiful rabbit pies. You have to try them." She extended her hand toward him. He didn't especially want to join a communal meal, but it would be rude to refuse such a rare offer. And he had, in fact, neglected to eat. He took her hand to pull himself up. Tomorrow he would attempt to train with Kashya, but right now he wouldn't worry about it.

[robotnuts]

Alpha is very Burnt Out Church. Like... Constantly burnt out. Its been pointed out by the others, under plenty circumstances, that Epsilon does not act like Church / Alpha did. He was either more whipped, or he blew up more spectacularly. Alpha is more Objective, Epsilon is more Personal. Alpha took things, no matter how ridiculous, at face value. While Epsilon is more prone to reason his way out. Alpha was more willing to let Tex do her own thing... Epsilon was not.

you have the incredible power to say exactly what ive been thinking about for days. here’s my fix

warning: im about to speak with authority even though i function by throwing spaghetti at the wall. if anything about this is wrong or egregiously off please tell me so i can eat the proper crow

epsilon had to have sacrificed himself for tex so she could escape the memory unit, and have the chance to become her own person completely outside of church in order to complete his predetermined arc.

(i love epsilon, love him and carolina, and in an rvb rewrite i would not be able to bring myself to do this and i come up with an alternate ending- this is just in the terms of, what the director laid out as his character arc, and how rvb TRIED to do progressive iterations of the director’s story, and then massively dropped the ball with the ending)

You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle, nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question, if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her has haunted me my entire life, and moreso in these last few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself. Had I only the chance.

and no version of himself ever did make the sacrifice to save her. the director doesn’t really deserve the term sacrifice applied to him, but he did sacrifice everyone around him. he sacrificed his daughter, his military organization, countless lives, literally everything, in order to chase after allison. this is obviously the darkest, worst version.

alpha did sacrifice himself for tex- it’s more explicit in the deleted scene where wash convinces him to go by bringing up tex specifically and finding out about her, *which i can’t find a link to but if anyone has it please send it to me.) but he didn’t save her. they died together, which is tragic and as you said, they never figured out the truth. but in a way, they didn’t need to. alphabeta is a much stronger relationship than epsichex because they like, know each other as their own people and church doesn’t know who allison was. it is tragic they neveer learned who they were, but it makes sense for the second iteration.

and then epsilon.... regresses. he sacrifices HER. yes it is him giving up on chasing the memory like the director did, but the director’s biggest crime isn’t just refusing to give up on a memory, it’s what it did to tex. how it stripped her of all agency and made her fucking miserable. this is so explicit in epsitex’s actions. she resents being made, but if she’s gonna exist, she’s going to do it on her own terms. beta came along for the ride, she made herself. epsitex didn’t.

and then epsilon makes her last words to him “i love you” and kills her.

(also... epsitex is made from epsilon’s memories of tex. the fact that epsitex always fails is just as much his fault for not seeing her as anything else as it is the director’s.)

there are only two ways to complete epsilon’s character arc well, because no matter what he needs to let tex LEAVE. not die, just exist as a person outside of him. you can interpret i forget you as that, but it isn’t her fucking choice to stop existing. just because she didnt ask to be made doesn’t mean he should have the power to execute her. she needs to be allowed to exist without him, figure out who she is. and, if you wanted to wrap up the narrative of church becoming a better person through iterations, him actually finally making the sacrifice and SAVING tex would be the final permutation. 

i used to think this was the best option but through writing this post, i think epsilon saying fuck you to the director spiritually by refusing to give him the heroic sacrifice he always wanted is the best, most satisfying option. and them being strong enough to leave the memory unit together (which would have to be established as impossible) would be a nice parallel with beta being strong enough to make her own person. and it would make the end of s10 hit so much harder, because epsilon didn’t just do better than him, but completely subverted what the director wanted for him. 

outside of killing tex, i think epsilon is a super good character and exploring his relationship differences with the bgc vs alpha is something i’m super interested in (and something that @leonardalphachurch has done great meta on). not to mention, single mindedly focusing on tex instead of everyone else is another one of the director’s flaws that epsilon can overcome! he needed to put some serious work into his friendships that we never got from s12 or 13, sadly. and him self isolating with carolina can be an accidental repeat of the singlemindednesss cycle because he wasn’t focused on tex, and him realizing he cares about tucker and caboose and needs to show it better and stop pretending that him not showing emotional vulnerability makes him more like alpha and could be like a character moment or something. 

and then tex can go explore the universe off screen for 3 seasons before coming back to chorus in s13 on her own to kick some ass. also the flashback montage episode of her hijinks and exploits that we missed like s15e6, please god give it to me. 

[perhapsthanatos]

03:13 am with renjun ♡

nct's renjun x gn!reader (inspired by his recent photoshoot)

alternate title: death is an early bird

genre: angst. fluff. non idol au. angel of death!au.

word count: 670~

playlist: how to fight by eartheater, so humble the afternoon by julia holter & for those who patiently endure by lauren auder.

warnings: violence & death. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: i know i just published that johnny fic this morning, but i have zero self control & wanted to get this out there even if its literally 2 am :D originally, this fic was supposed to be a witch!au but i didnt know where to go with it so i headed another direction AHAHAH this fic was inspired by a video of someone rewriting the last season of game of thrones & redoing the long night episode wayyy better this time (YES IM STILL MAD & YES IM STILL SALTY THAT THE SHOW WAS RUINED) but i dont remember which one though bc ive watched too many, but if i do come across it again, i will add the link! also happy bday renjun bb <3

the night is cold, but it has only begun. you try your very best to focus on the battle ahead of you, attempting to aim your arrows at the opponent’s men from the top of the dark castle. you only have one goal, and one job. you have bent the knee to the queen and now you fight for her and for your home. but that is all quite a challenge when your only guide is the the first quarter moonlight and the occasional hot bursts of flames, as well as the sounds of screams ripping through from below. you take the tip of the arrow to the flame of the torch that you've kept by your side. taking a sharp breath, you strategically shoot it through the fog and watch as it directly pierces the heart of a soldier who then bursts into flames in one fell swoop. you and your running mind only get more numb by the second. yes, you are alive, but you are devoid. you’ve seen far too much innocence get destroyed in a matter of seconds, fragile souls getting wounded or even end up dying in pain. but death does not have much care or time to dwell on that.

there is no time to think about that now, though. this has begun to be a survival for the fittest now. you know the night will remain to be a long one, for only the victors will bring the dawn and will reign successfully. but will you even be able to get through this long enough to see the daylight?

the chaos ensues, the fighting spilling from all over now, violence being the only option.

but death may not even be that bad, right? after all, you would admit that he’s kind of cute even. because from a distance, you see the color violet flying your way.

wait. no, no, no, no. it can’t be.

your jaw clenches. your time can’t possibly be up yet? isn’t it too early? but you aren’t even finished?

when the name of death spills through someone’s lips, one may picture him to be a demon or a monster of sorts, but that was far from the truth. rumor has it (and much contrary to the common belief) that he is not but a mere boy who has the most gentle touch making death feel like a small state of slumber. books depict him to be mostly seen in blood red hues with razor yellow teeth ready to consume you. but you remember your previous mentor saying before he passed that he ran into him many times in his travels and that he was wearing a calming dark violet color and was not at all a child of satan’s.

you see him getting closer. you would dare say that he is indeed handsome however the panic settles in. your shallow breaths fail you as a deep and intense fear roots and implants itself down on the bottom of your lungs, leeching and draining you of yourself. now you really wonder if you are truly dead and if this is your real fate. you pray that he made some sort of mistake, arriving too soon.

the angel, the demon, the messenger, the god, the personification, whoever he may be — he finally lands beside you, your shaking hands dropping your bow, suddenly noticing the arrow on your chest.

“you got shot,” he speaks, sounding otherworldly and motioning to the arrow sticking out of your stomach. his loose violet blouse and light brown wavy hair flows with the wind.

you feel more blood rushing out your body. your legs start to give out, but he catches you in his arms. it didn’t feel cold, instead it was warm and gentle.

“you have the best story yet, you know that?” he coos at you, admiring your features.

“do i? really?” you rasp out, eyes getting heavier.

“mhm. you’ll go down in history, my love,” he assures, ready to take flight to the sky with you in his arms. “now, come on,” he whispers tenderly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “let’s get you home.”

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[astralglam]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

without soap or perfume, 683 smells bizarrely sterile, chemical-ish, like a dentist’s office, bleach or cleaning supplies.  like hand sanitizer that kills 99.9% of germs.  they have that faint smell of powdery clean cosmetics, only because they wear so much foundation, face powder and setting spray.  humans like things that smell less artificial, so 683 takes to using cheap perfume (think a teenager who just learned to douse themselves with axe or bath and bodyworks spray), which is artificial in a slightly more palatable way.  their clothes (which are almost all second hand) have that mothball-musty smell of a thrifted dress that hasn’t been washed yet, like an old book.    

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

cold, frigid and icy, almost like a mannequin’s if you left the mannequin in the freezer. their skin is tight over their tendons and fingers, with almost waxy, plasticy skin stretched over their joints and knuckles, which makes them seem very fragile.  sometimes their palms are uncannily clammy.  their skin on their palms isn’t rough or calloused but they’re starting to get scars on their fingertips from their voyages into the realm of string instruments.  they used to have very neat, clean and unpainted nails, but nowadays, they have divots and cracks because 683 is clumsy with the strings.  

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

683 is often at the mercy of when their friends will decide to cook for them/buy them food.  they don’t have any cooking skills and can barely wash and cut an apple (this isn’t because they’re stupid, on atomina they were used to communal dining with a designated set of people who cooked for everyone in their unit).  683 is naturally accustomed to eating plant matter and (unlike us humans) has a way better digestive system for breaking down cellulose and gets a lot more out of their vegetarian diet than you might expect (two stomachs aint for nothin).  left to their own devices they just eat Whatever (orange? handfuls of spinach, unwashed, pesticides dont hurt them.  microwave a tomato and watch it explode.  brave cutting open an avocado and just eating it with a spoon).  dinner is when priscilla either buys him take out or sid cooks something for him (and sid is an amazing cook!!!).  sid isn’t vegetarian, but his family is, so he knows how to make all kinds of dishes perfect for 683 -- substitute the dairy for nondiary alternatives and 683′s getting matter paneer (with tofu instead), malai kofta (with coconut milk), and aloo gobi (no butter), all sorts of things !!! 

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

sort of.  683′s voice, by itself, is nasally and weird and a little grating, but their devotion to music lets them make the most out of their “strange” voice and almost use it to their benefit to sound unique, different, super far out !11!11111  their lyrics, instrumentals and emotion combined is what makes them a talented musician rather than just a good quality voice.  so while they might not have a very pretty voice, they’re still a skilled singer due to their delivery.  

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

im assuming this is about bad (physical) habits rather than personality deficiencies (of which 683 has many).  683 stares, like, really just stares at people with reckless abandon, they havent figured out it’s rude.  they arent good at even pretending to listen so if they’re disinterested in what you have to say, they’ll look elsewhere, pick at their nails, mumble or interrupt you.  always finds a way to make the conversation about themself.  very disorganized and messy, has a hard time taking care of objects even if they value them (ex. dropping his guitar, misplacing jewelry, yanking a belt off and breaking it).  definitely self pities and has no problem trying to guilt you for everything and anything.  is a pretty frequent smoker, but is polite enough not to smoke if you ask him not to.  

683 is always a little nervous so their nervous ticks are just their baseline state of being (wringing hands, stammering, talking really fast, making insane gestures all around you but being too afraid to touch you, etc)

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

683 looks very put together at all times -- not necessarily polished or professional, but very intentional, in that you can tell they definitely made a conscious choice to dress the way they do.  he wore the same dumb uniform every day for the first 20 years of his life, so he’s very excited to try new clothing options.  

more femme-ish clothing preferences go to boxy, sleeveless a-line dresses, miniskirts, bright floral patterns, big plastic earrings, headbands, scarves, etc.  they like clunky platforms and prefer to wear boots.  very 60s mod and colorblocked.  she loves bright eyeshadow but tends to go for more neutral lipstick.  can never figure out what to do with her hair so she usually leaves it down or does a half-up half-down bun kinda deal.  

more masc clothing preferences are bell bottoms, button ups with butterfly collars, paisley print, turtlenecks and fringe jackets, etc. earthy tones and weird nasty olive green.  very late 60s / early 70s. prog rock flavor or glam rock flavor.  never got into the disco style only because he cant pull it off because he’s so scrawny and twitchy and has no chest hair to impress the ladies.    

one thing about 683 is that he hates tight long sleeves and goes insane if he has to wear them.  his uniform was sleeveless, so even short sleeves feel really weird and horrible on his arms.  prefers sleeveless, can do with short sleeves, 3/4ths sleeve or loose long sleeve, really tries to avoid tight/constricting long sleeves.  

i have a pinterest board of potential fits for him although i havent updated it because i barely know how to use pinterest.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

to most people, not really, he’s kind of a weird cagey asshole.  oscillates between fascinated with physical touch (suddenly wanting to hug his friends or snuggle with them or grabbing strangers when he’s trying to talk to them) to despising contact (cringes if you touch his hand when you pass him a cup).  he didnt grown up with a culture very big on it, so he isn’t sure if he likes it or not yet.  

to people he does care about, he tends to take his friends for granted but overperform affection for those he has romantic interest in.  not that he doesnt also dearly love and adore his friends, he’s just not the best at expressing his care for them other than random bursts of kindness and dissolving back into his weird normal self.  his understanding of romance has come from a very commercial, media-influenced place (he learns about it through television, novels and commercials, it’s not really inherent to his species) so he thinks romance is about buying flowers, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes for three hours, etc. if he has romantic interest in you, he will constantly over and over again tell you how much he likes you and your company and you are soooo funny hahahhahhfhh, and will be unusually touchy (clings to your arm, sits RIGHT next to you, drops his head on your shoulder, etc).  

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

683 didnt know what blankets were until he came to earth (or deep space nine) !!! his old room was perfectly temperature controlled and he already has a lower natural body temperature, so there was no need for blankets at all.  human beds with big pillows and blankets are THE COOLEST, so he either curls up underneath a blanket with only the top of his head poking out or he sprawls out like a starfish to take advantage of as many pillows as possible.  his special move is to roll up in the blanket like some kind of little alien lumpia.  

he’s a fitful sleeper so if you sleep in the same bed as him, he’ll punch you or kick you on accident.  he does appreciate company, though, and will also plaster himself up against you and leech your body heat with his weird cold body.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

depends.  they have a very average speaking voice and aren’t necessarily very loud (plus platforms dull footsteps), but if they were excited, they might raise their voice or yell or exclaim something.  and then they’re very shrill, so yes, you would hear her.  

Tagged by:  @sampati im sorry i took like a week it was really fun i love to type letters and words on the computer Tagging: @dynaura or @pataparty (for whoever you want) / @phantombs / @ofgentleresolve (for lamon? or anyone you want, really!!) / @bystcrdust / @kyrieleisen / @baelends / @bup1957

[lightneverfades]

Frostiron Holiday Wishes Challenge ❆ 🎅🎄Master Post! 

Thank you to all those who’ve submitted a prompt/wish and lovely artwork/fics for these wishes! Here is a compiled list of all the prompt fills received! :D <3 

Requester: @kimmycup Wish (Prompt/Idea): Invasion fic where Tony figures out Loki was mind controlled before Loki does: "But I WAS in control. Thanos didn't control me like I did Clint." "Yeah sure. And if you wanted to take over the world, what would you do?" Loki spluttered, fully aware that plan was dumb. Still, he would KNOW if he were controlled... Right? "But I wasn't mind controlled! It was me!"

❆ Fill: By @worstloki Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638613717830008832/

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Requester: @brianadoesart Wish (Prompt/Idea): Cupcake shop au!!!  One of our boys owns a cupcake shop and the other one is a FREQUENT visitor to said coffee shop. Lots of people think its because they have a sweet tooth, but they're just hopelessly in love with whichever one owns the shop.

❆ Fill: By @worstloki Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638613402351239168/

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Requester: @snarkyship Wish (Prompt/Idea): Human/no powers AU. Sort-of-enemies to friends to lovers.Tony rents this house/bungalow by the sea for the summer, with a kind of private beach where there is also a cute gazebo. Only that the gazebo is exactly halfway with the other property (by some mistake?). And the tenant of the neighbour bungalow is Loki, who's not so keen on sharing. So Loki&Tony will start a "war" to gain possession of the gazebo, doing their worst using the excuse of "this is my half, I can use it as I want". ((Optional: there is a table right in the middle, so at the beginning they sit at their own side glaring at each other, before starting deploying more convoluted tactics)).Mischief after mischief, they will start to know each other and of course everything will end with one of them inviting the other to their half for a romantic dinner and they'll end up sharing more than the gazebo <3((I hope it's enough clear and but also not too detailed??))

❆ Fill: By @worstloki Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638612819398606848/

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Requester: @loufeysson​​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Hi! my prompt is teenage Tony and android Loki in a futuristic universe (in the style of Black Mirror, maybe?) 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 Thank you!

❆ Fill: By @lightneverfades (yours truly haha!) Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638487122698010624/

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Requester: @lightneverfades​  Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki is a yoga instructor and one day Tony goes to one of his classes and finds out the best positions to ‘relax’ - body, mind and soul >:D. (I love puns, so go crazy hahaha!) 

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​  Link: https://snarkyship.tumblr.com/post/638415118181580800/

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Requester: @martiszcz​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Someone is trying to break them up by making Loki jealous, mentioning Tony's playboy years, talking about the time they slept with Tony, talking about how much time he spends with some friend (Pepper, Rhodey, I don't care who) but Loki doesn't react - they trust each other.

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638434199159865344/

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Requester: Nivael * Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki and Tony are in an established relationship. Things go great, but Loki is still unaccepting of his Jotun heritage and body. While Tony is completely fascinated by it, partly because Loki tries to hide it so hard. So he gets a fancy magical gadget from Strange (amulet, bracelet,...?) to be able to avoid frostbite so he can touch Loki even when he's in his Jotun form. Then there will be smut! :D

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638434042873872384

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Requester: @loufeysson​​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Hi! my prompt is teenage Tony and android Loki in a futuristic universe (in the style of Black Mirror, maybe?) 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 Thank you!

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638433959345274880/

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Requester: @arandomsewer​   Wish (Prompt/Idea): I just want him to live on and being supported by his Friends and his brother recognizing him, that's basically the prompt. Tho here's the details of the Idea I had: Loki is living at the tower with the others (of course) too proud to say out loud how much he likes life on earth... The usual.Something happens and suddenly the magic that made him look Asgardian is just not working anymore. Understandably, he freaks out. Im talking hides in his room, crying, anger, hate, on himself and others... The whole lot, he just throws a major fit.The others know him and kind of understand and are patient... But it’s not getting fixed. Days pass, and he's stuck like this. After a while Tony snaps him out of It, and he slowly calms down and starts learning to accept this side of himself. It’s specially strange to him how he can just walk in a room and no one treats him different. How the others are even fascinated by this form. I expect Thor being shocked and curious and snapped at and reminded how he (and his people on general) have been unfair to Loki... And of course, there's the romance with Tony, Who loves him in all his forms (and they fit together 'cause he's kinky and Loki a shapeshifter)Also imagine Loki being terrified of touching Tony and then finding out he's cold to the touch but not actually dangerous (my headcanon: he's the son of Hella. Half giant and half Asgardian, and the actual heir... But that's for another fic)

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638433872244326400/

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Requester: @kimmycup​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki in Tony's MIT sweatshirt.

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638403067804598272/

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Requester: @worstloki​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Tony and Loki both having panic attacks at the same time. just make it wild. whatever the reasons are, maybe it's the same reason? maybe they have shared triggers? maybe it's separate reasons? maybe the other avengers are around and don't realize the incoming attacks and keep bringing up bad memories? maybe one of them notices the other is freaking out and defends them? maybe drags them away only to also start having a panic attack? whatever. they're both freaking out and just kinda do that. they then bond over it. (this can be crack or angsty I don't mind)

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638402945408499712/

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Requester: @shinindragon​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): The Avengers + Loki fight a villain. Loki uses a lot of his magic, eventually almost draining his energy completely when he protects Tony from getting hurt. When the battle is over, they return to the tower, all of them exhausted. Tony notices Loki doesn't look well, he asks if he's okay. Loki barely gets a word out before he collapses into Tony's arms, unconscious. Thor carries Loki to Tony's and his bedroom, explaining to Tony that he'll be alright, it's just exhaustion from an excessive use of magic. Tony stays with Loki, taking care of him. Fluff and with a sprinkle of angst. 

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638402848705675264

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Requester: @blancoluna​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Basically Friga wonders where she went wrong, asks the Oracle and goes on a guilt trip realizing she messed up to Valhalla and back. The idea is, being a queen-godess of family, she should be able to do something about it, maybe traveling in time or something... And Loki's gonna need powerful allies and Friends, like the Avengers, for example Now the same, but with detail. This is the way I imagined It. Perhaps it’s too much drama? I just don't know how to tackle It or how to go from here:After everything that happened, Frigga wonders where she went wrong, not just with Loki, but with Thor who didn't appreciate his brother, Odín, who treated him unfairly and even the servants, Who didn't respect him.She wonders if she could have done anything, and the guilt wont let her sleep until she goes to the well of wisdom, the Oracle, to seek answers.She is warned the truth may be even more painful. She may not like the answer... But she goes in.It is way worse than she thought: in one second she is reminded of all the times she should have acted, and chose not to, and she sees how It affected her family.She could and should have done something, and she had plenty of time, but at every chance she chose not to. And its perhaps worse than what Odin did because she knew It was wrong but chose to do nothing about It.But even more: It is confirmed to her that not only Odín never gave Loki a chance: he didn't find him. He stole him from the temple where he was guarded. He is not just the son of Louffey, but also of Hella, and thus, the actual heir to the throne of Asgard.She was supposed to be the godess of family, and here she was, consumed by guilt and shame, by having followed blindly a King Who abused her children and betrayed his own heir, aside from many other crimes.But Frigga can't just spend the test of eternity crying. She must do something. She was raised by witches!!Will she manage to get her hands on the time Stone? Or Will she just travel to another dimension to warn a younger version of herself? Will this be the beginning of a new multiverse? The possibilities are endless, when the godess of family must avenge her child...But first: for him to have a better Life he would need support, allies... Friends. (Enter the Avengers)

Add-on: Frigga having this vision was just meant to be a one shot that would connect many different alternative stories, all with the 'what if Frigga did something for Loki' as a common base. All of them would be Frostiron 'cause I honestly believe they are just meant for one another! It is just so open to so many possibilities... That I never got to writing any of them.

One of the first ideas I had following this concept was of Frigga introducing Tony and Loki early on somehow: as kids they would be like 'imaginary friends' then Tony manages to contact him and they are webcam buds... As young adults, they would help each other go a different path than they did in other lives.... and when Loki needed help, he had allies to back him. (The Avengers, whom Tony may have introduced to him earlier)

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638402661807521793

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Requester: @brianadoesart​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): A.... Among Us au.......  Impostor Loki protecting his crewmate friend Tony from the other impostors.... I..... Tony and Loki as Among Us beans...

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638403011653353472/

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Requester: @kimmycup​  Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki in Tony's MIT sweatshirt.

❆ Fill: By @shinindragon​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638390052569907200

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Requester: @brianadoesart​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): A.... Among Us au.......  Impostor Loki protecting his crewmate friend Tony from the other impostors.... I..... Tony and Loki as Among Us beans...

❆ Fill: By @kimmycup​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638390059063803904

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Requester: @brianadoesart​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): MERMAIDS. I like mermaids. Either a fic or art, but I just want more content of mer-Loki or mer-Tony.   I always enjoy versions where Loki is an underwater prince who falls in love with a stupid human inventor by the name of Tony. He's never been 100% happy in the palace with Thor and the others, so he often would go to the shore to watch the humans. He sees Tony working on the beach one day and becomes interested in him from there on. Basically a little mermaid type thing... I am easy to please. I just like mermaids.

❆ Fill: By @lightneverfades (yours truly haha!) Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638511932186525696/

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Requester: @snarkyship​​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Finally Tony has managed to locate Loki's whereabouts. And it turns out the godling lives in a pretty loft in Manhattan, with all the comforts and the most advanced midgardian technology ((lighting, temperature and everything controlled by a tablet - the Stark latest model!- , appliances linked to the wifi, and has that roomba a knife??)).Tony decides to have a little fun: who said Loki is the only one who can do a little mischief?? So he takes control over Loki's apartment hacking its system; he starts with some flickering lights, the roomba changing suddenly trajectory to stab him, then blasting music in the middle of the night and so on.And Loki would be so frustrated: at the beginning he thinks about some failure in the inferior midgardian technology, then he'll think to be under attack, but he can't feel any magic signature!! Maybe he'll freak out a little, because there is some kind of unknown entity??? ((And while he may be using all the technology without problems, it doesn't mean he fully understands its working)).Tony will have fun, but he also will discover some cute aspects of Loki's personality, like he sings to his plants and he likes to wear fuzzy socks ((ok it sounds voyeuristic, but Tony would respect part Loki's privacy, maybe he'll spy on him only when in the living room or kitchen)).((And maybe he would help Loki as well? Like, the godling had a nightmare after falling asleep on the couch, and Tony would gently woke him up with music))Loki will eventually understand that Stark, the most clever midgardian, was behind all of this, and well, he's the God of Mischief, he can appreciate a well planned trick. Time to return the favor ;)

❆ Fill: By @lightneverfades (yours truly haha!) Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638390071764074496/

[rkivepacks]

TITLE: i’m good, i love you Series: why are you sorry? it’s not your fault you don’t love me [see previous work] Pairing: taekook/kookv/vkook (Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook) Rating: PG13 Genre: angst but you’ll live Word Count: 2,029 Trigger Warning/s: swearing(?), one or two sentences of questioning self worth but not too graphic Cross-posted on: AO3/dtgloss

NOTES: ∟ banner by @rkivepacks​ ∟ request banner here ∟ request prompt/send commission here

∟ unbeta-ed ∟ the requests for a sequel for the first one was from a long time ago and im p sure when they said requests they were hoping for a fluff one but i wasnt in the mood for fluffy when i did this so...

Summary:   the difference between want and have is you

his eyes roam the words carefully printed on the wall, on the lower left part of the painting. it is where the title, date and artist are usually placed.

a piece of me is always found right beside you it follows you wherever you go it’s lonely from what i see where i stay far from you

alone.

taehyung, these days, is alone.

he is used to it but routine never makes it okay to be alone.

his sadness should not be a routine but, oh well, it is.

he stays in his average house that’s one in the lined town houses in the village. the area itself is decongested, only the people habituating each house goes in and out of their little village and everyone is almost familiar, if not knows, each other.

his own house in particular looks lived on. more so on the side of used but not so worn out. maybe the walls are not as white and clean as they used to be, a few scratches and dirts that got on it as days pass by but no ceiling has started falling down unprompted and everything works how they’re assigned to function.

taehyung would like to think he’s more sad than alone. he still has friends anyway but friends cannot always live with you on your house guised under the cover of it being a sleepover that turns into days.

but friends just like him have their own personal matters and cannot always be with him. he understands when hoseok cannot stay for more than two days and has to leave just before lunch to meet up with a close friend of his, one from outside of their group of friends so taehyung can’t have the option to ask to come with. he understands when jimin cannot come on days he’s asking him to and sometimes comes on a saturday instead of his friday night invite.

when he’s so down, he thinks he’s not entitled to his friends times but they assure him it’s not the case.

so no, he is not alone.

he goes over to the next display, going over the sculpture itself and then to the artist description posed near the display. the sculpture itself is a form that resembles a man that is slightly haunched, although it takes more than a second to realize as the form only captures the head to chest of a human body, but considering that the back part of it protrudes slightly the way a man would when lax. the main body is that of charcoal color but it was designed to portray a visual effect of a dripping paint from its head, represented with different colors which are bright enough to contrast its dark body.

the display is almost familiar and it has been staring at him longer than he stared at it.

the title is printed in bold, a sinner

love is not a sin but my thoughts about you and the way i see the word love around you is

taehyung moves on to another display, it being a worn out stack of paper that looks as if it has 300 pages of a4’s binded by a clip. he steps closer to it to inspect, knowing displays are off limits and can only be appreciated through the eyes, he skims over the word of what he found out would be a script of some sort.

he reads,

i’m drunk, i love you

the difference between want and have is you

he walks over to the last one if its placement by the exit is anything to go by, just like the last one he’s looked over, it’s a display with a single ring in the middle.

all alone

and it sits there as if it has been assigned to mock him and the ring that sits on the very bottom and far end of a box full of things he doesn’t need but can’t seem to throw away.

he reads the title and wow, yes. it’s definitely mocking him. he had been giving it the benefit of the doubt but the title is the last straw. this whole exhibit is out to mock him.

taehyung thinks he’s being over dramatic. but he also thinks this last display is offensive to him, absolutely personal.

—

taehyung sits at home, eyes on the tv he has playing as he waits for night time news.

it seems like the words of the last display he went to see that day have been imprinted on his brain, on the wall in front of him, on the ceiling as he looks up, when he close his eyes.

—

Once you told me, your eyes are always on me.

And you did, you took care of me.

Because you are that kind of person.

You put me before you.

All the time.

Which is why you are the best.

To be honest, I would not even put me before me.

—

taehyungiehyungihyung,

have you been well? i hope you are. the longest time i’ve been away from you is now and still counting— the present. the second one would be during Christmas breaks because you and your family spend it on your relatives home alternately and don’t come back until after new years. anyway... is your hair longer now? i hope it is and i hope you dont cut it. i seem to have a lot of hopes.

im packing up for a trip to a long trail not too far from here. they said it was too pretty to pass up and you get to reach the clouds.

, jungkook

taehyung reads the letter. he received it yesterday late afternoon and it doesnt have a date. jungkook often forgets to write dates so he assumes they were written at least three days ago.

it wasnt the first letter he received. he doesnt keep count but he has a few kept behind his door where he puts his mails.

in the first letter, jungkook said its best to not have taehyung write back. he goes from one place to another, he said. so, taehyung merely reads them and keeps them.

in the first letter, he also said about his sudden departure. he wanted to be away for a while and he knows his best friend would need him for the wedding so he decided to do it after. he didnt even get to say goodbye and only got a whiff of the younger when the letter came that day.

jungkook didnt say why he left and where he went. he just did. right after taehyung’s wedding, he packed up and went away from taehyung’s vicinity as far as he could.

does he know? taehyung asks. does he know i’m not married anymore?

—

his divorce with minji was something that stemmed off a petty thing.

falling out of love is a petty thing.

but, he guesses, they both cannot trap themselves in a house they’re not happy in anymore.

it was sudden, the divorce.

minji told him that she doesnt feel the same anymore. they agreed to stay off the house and after more than a week of a cool off she said she doesnt feel anything at all.

in taehyung’s case, he did not feel it the same way minji did. he only noticed once minji told him she felt that way. it made him feel that the heaviness in the room when they’re both in it was a foreboding for something.

taehyung is a giving lover. the time away from minji made him think a lot. he knows he doesn’t have a choice but to agree on the separation. forbid his thoughts, but he doesn’t want the time to come when the both of them completely falls out of love and seeks warmth from another person and then go home at night to sleep in the same bed.

he texts minji, because as accepting as he is about the decision, he’s not too keen watching a soon to be ex wife pack up and leave.

both of them were gradually moving out their personal items from the house. properties they bought with their shared money will be sold as secondhand items and some are donated.

in between moving out and settling in to a new apartment, he’s had namjoon and jimin with him and if yoongi has extra time mostly at night, he helps sort out his things.

he knew there was a missing person. he wanted to tell jungkook about it.

but jungkook wasn’t there.

—

until one day, jungkook is back.

suddenly, he’s there attending the dinner party for jin’s birthday, sat beside hoseok.

he casted him wary glances throughout the night. at some point he was even referencing to taehyung like everything’s so normal, but taehyung knows it’s just a very jungkook way of letting him know ‘i’m here and i will talk to you and acknowledge your presence whether you like it or not’. taehyung isn’t one for being petty so he went along with it. thankfully, their friends don’t seem to give too much thought into their two other friends sat on the opposite sides of the table.

the next day, jungkook seems to have arrived in taehyung’s new home at the same time a delivery for taehyung came. it eased jungkook’s nerves that he doesn’t have to go through knocking and then purposefully being ignored.

“did you order anything?” jungkook asks just as the delivery person makes their leave.

“i went and bought some essential oils.” taehyung silently gestures for the other to come in and jungkook did, locking the door behind him.

“how are you, taehyungie?” jungkook was sat in front of taehyung in the living room. there’s only the makeshift coffee table and some mats on the floor to sit on since taehyung have yet to buy a sofa.

“tired these days. in between work and unpacking. i’m jealous of kids who do nothing when they’re moving into a new home because they get a free pass to not do things around.” taehyung pouts silently, looking at the soda in can at hand while he traces a finger on the lid.

jungkook chuckles at that and after, no one speaks until, “i’ve heard about it.”

when taehyung makes no motion to respond to it, jungkook continues, “jimin hyung mentioned it to me one time that they were helping you move out so i asked... sorry.”

“it’s okay. i had friends who helped me. i got by.” taehyung winces.

“i wasn’t.” jungkook says, the here that follows hangs in the air which they know would follow.

“you were busy.” taehyung says instead.

jungkook would retaliate but he knows there’s no point.

“i sent you an invite to my exhibit. you went?” jungkook asks, hopeful.

“i did.”

“you didn’t insist to text me or write. i kind of assumed you would once you see it, but it’s okay. at least you did go to it.” jungkook pats his own thigh lightly to distract him.

“i wouldn’t know what to say. at the wedding, and even before that. i would feel something but i didn’t want to be that person and assume. i could be seeing it wrong, i don’t know.” taehyung rambles. “but then the other boys would also drop a few comments here and then.” and it’s true. sometimes jin would say teasing words and taehyung only acts as if he doesn’t get it and sometimes, he acts as if he didn’t hear it at all.

“you were happy. i don’t have any excuse.” jungkook whispers.

“now-“

“now what?”

“i guess to some extent, i liked you back. but i didn’t see it until now so i’m not going to rush this and jump into a relationship with you right away. it’s not fair to the both of us.”

“i understand. after all, your divorce is not yet finalized. i’d be here for you but i’m not gonna distract you from it.” jungkook assures him and that’s all he needs. everything will be okay.

“i know it’s the last day of your exhibit today. wanna go together?” taehyung smiles at jungkook and indeed, everything’s okay.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 121 Results

The chapter 121 poll closed with 1,812 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating!

  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,644 Responses

Welp, it’s official. Chapter 121, the 10th anniversary chapter of Attack on Titan, was the highest rated chapter this year. In fact, in the last two years, the only chapter that scored higher was 112. Bravo, Isayama!

Attack on Titan can’t get any crazier after THAT chapter!” I say for the fourth month in a row, like a fool.

Jesus Christ Im so happy I was born at the time aot was created

Eren is *chef’s kiss* so perfect and well written and scary and amazing. The best character of anything I’ve ever watched or read, I’ll love him for a very long time.

I had to physically lie down, I was that confused.

It was perfect. From the reveal of Eren to Zekes meeting with Grisha. This chapter changed our whole view not just on the characters, but the whole story itself. Simply amazing.

I honestly think this was the most mind blowing chapter since the Basement reveal chapter. To think Future Eren was the one who convinced Grisha at the last second to massacre the Reiss family blew my mind!

This was an amazing chapter. Regardless of what you think of Eren, he has to be one of the most well developed characters in all of manga. I like the direction of the story and can't wait to see what Isayama has in store for our beloved characters.

This chapter solidifies SnK as manga of the decade.

I'm not sure if Isayama planned this from day n°1, but him saying the story is about surpassing the father takes up a whole new meaning: how can your father enslave you when you enslave him yourself?

The next big twist? “Oh-ho, onii-chan, I was the Founder Ymir all along!”

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,684 Responses

There were a LOT of moments in this chapter, and a lot of people had a lot of different favorites. The one that seems to stand out the most was the reveal of the Attack Titan’s ability, beating almost every other answer by double digits. Other favorites include Eren reliving the famous childhood scene with Mikasa, the significance of the royal kiss, and Eren breaking free of the PATHS chains. Interestingly, “You haven’t gotten to the part where I eat our old man yet,” and Grisha telling Zeke to stop Eren had a nearly identical number of responses, with a difference of only 2.

I'd choose not have any time travel shenanigans in this franchise if I was asked for an opinion beforehand, but it has been executed really well.

The real question is: could Zeke or Grisha feel the hug?

i want to hug mikasa

  WHAT IS “THE SIGHT” (FAN TRANSLATION "THE SCENERY" ) THAT EREN SEES FONDLY? 1,646 Responses

Oof. The majority (37.2%) believe “the sight” Eren sees fondly is the trampled burning earth, post -rumbling. “His friends living freely”(16.2%)  was the second option followed by “The child from the final panel” (13.5%) in third.

"Something beyond that hell..."

Eren saw his own death. His death is somehow going to be the set up for a peaceful future. That’s why Grisha was so upset. His *actual* death is going to be gruesome af. Definitely more gruesome than getting his head blown awff.

I do not understand Eren at all, so I won't even try to give an answer to this

I think it is possibly a ruse since I am still thinking he has some plan concerning Founder Ymir. I actually still believe VERY strongly that Eren is obviously aiming a future where he can save many. But... For the sake of answering this question shortly: not too sure atm on the ‘fixed’ sight, but I think it’s possible he is seeing a ‘way’ for the Titan curse to finally end. I think every shifter, including Armin, will die still tbh. :P

The rumbling scene we saw in chapter 106, when Eren was smiling

The Walls destroyed and the colossus titans inside freed and marching, but it doesn't necessarly end with world scale rumbling.

I know it may not be moral, and maybe it's not even going to happen, but i REALLY hope "that sight" is the world-scale rumbling actually happening.

Grisha knew about the rumbling, and I don't think that happening nearly as horrified as he looked. My first theory was Eren was going to end the ability of Eldians being able to transform into titans, now I believe he wants the rest of the world to become titans.

The fact of being able to tell to the child of the latest panel "You're free now", we all know that freedom is Eren's weak spot

he saw a jo jo reference

  HOW DO YOU VIEW GRISHA’S UNWILLINGNESS TO KILL CHILDREN? 1,673 Responses

SnK is relatively (in?)famous for its "gray morality" takes. It has been pretty consistent that you probably shouldn't kill children though, and Grisha seems to agree. 41% of you guys admire him for at least temporarily rethinking his plan to kill the Reiss children. 52.5% of you don’t fault him for hesitating, but understand that it was ultimately necessary to achieve the end goal, and 6.5% of you think it was weak given the circumstances.

Seeing Grisha how he talks about not being able to kill kids since he's a doctor and then seeing said kids cheering on their sis to kill him was :((((

Grisha has moved from "ugh, I despise him" to "guess he's slightly better than Rod Reiss?"

  WE HAVEN’T SEEN EREN RECEIVE ANY FUTURE MEMORIES, AND HE'S VERY CERTAIN THAT HE'S NEVER BEEN CONTROLLED BY ANYONE ELSE. DOES THIS MEAN THAT EREN IS THE LAST ATTACK TITAN? 1,668 Responses

Just over 70 percent of you think that Eren is the last holder of the Attack Titan; that’s pretty cut and dry! The next largest group was ‘I don’t know’ at just over 21 percent, with most other responses negligible. It seems that most readers therefore think that, one way or another, the Attack Titan’s path ends with the Eren’s story.

Eren is the Attack Titan. Period.

He's the first and the last.

I think it's just possible that Eren is the only one who is able to have complete control over the Attack Titans abilities. It is mentioned in this chapter that the previous holders of the Attack Titan didn't have full control over it...

What if a more future attack titan manipulated Eren so that he cannot see future memories

I think it's likely, but something Kruger says prevents me from being positive. In chapter 89 "If you want to save them all; Mikasa, Armin and the others; carry out your mission to the end." This could be a message from Eren to Eren, from Eren to Grisha, or from someone unknown to Eren.

  IN CHAPTER 1, DID GRISHA SEE CURRENT EREN WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE BASEMENT? 1,673 Responses

For all these years, we thought  Grisha was just being rude - not even looking at Eren as he promised to show him the basement. Finally, an alternative explanation! 81.5% of us choose to believe that Grisha was looking at Eren - just not the smol Eren of Chapter 1.

  WHEN ZEKE AND EREN BREAK CONTACT, EREN MENTIONS ZEKE NOT YET SEEING THE NIGHT HE ATE HIS FATHER. IS THIS SIGNIFICANT? 1,677 Responses

As much as we've learned about what's driving Eren this chapter, he's still sketchy enough to raise some questions. 59% of you guys think he still has more information to share with Zeke, and by proxy, with us, about the memory of the night he ate Grisha. ~28% think he was just mocking Zeke and the fresh wounds of his reunion with Grisha, and about 12% aren't sure.

Grisha received more memories of Eren's plan, and gave the Attack Titan willingly

Maybe...? Maybe there's something else Grisha tells Eren while injecting him. Something other than the words we've already seen.

It felt like Eren was mocking Zeke, almost as if Zeke bailed out of the memory at a convenient point where he and his dad reconcile to the point seeing the latter's death to Pure Titan Eren later on could have hit him hard.

Oh lawd

  THE ATTACK TITAN’S ABILITY REVEALED! WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS TWIST? 1,665 Responses

Despite some initial confusion, nearly two thirds of the fandom (72.6%) are delighted with the Attack Titan’s ability to see the memories of future. However, while not an option on the poll, a significant number of write-ins believe that Grisha was wrong and this isn’t a typical Attack Titan ability at all, but rather the result of Eren entering the PATHS realm.

Totally supported this! As Time-Loop Conspirist! xD

AoT shouldn't be a story with time travel (memory transfer is still time travel in my book)

But I don't think it is the Attack Titan's ability at all?? That is just Grisha's conclusion from his very limited experiences. But we can actually see in this chapter that his conclusion is not true when considering the larger context. The only one who can show people the future is Eren while in possesion of the Founding Titan being in PATHS realm while touching another shifter with royal blood. That are very specific conditions to be met. Without them there is no future memory shenanigans. So while it seems like being able to get glimpses of the future is the ability of the Attack Titan to Grisha, it is only an ability of Eren's Foundig Titan under very strict circumstances. I think any other titan shifter could pull of the future memory thing as well given the right circumstances.  

Calling it an asspull means you're a speedreader, Kruger mentioned Mikasa and Armin by name years before they were born, it gave us a hint at the Attack Titan's power without telling us directly

Grisha misinterpreted this. He's wrong.

Didn't feel like a twist since we already knew since Kruger that it was possible to see into the future. It was just confirmation.

I just hope Isayama develops this time-thing concept a little more, and for it not to be a kind of fix-all-the-plot-holes narrative magic trick.

It's cool but it still made me roll my eyes so hard you could hear it

So if the founder cant do that, does that make the attack titan the strongest there is ?

  EREN LOST HIS THUMB WHEN HE BROKE FREE FROM THE CHAINS TO STOP SAND YMIR. IS IT IMPORTANT THAT HE LOST HIS THUMB, OR JUST THAT HE BROKE FREE? 1,671 Responses

A majority of you (59.6%) think that Eren’s thumb being lost is merely to show how he managed to break free from the chains, and has no deeper meaning. However, almost a quarter of respondents believe that Eren losing his preferred method of shifting is significant going forward (perhaps indicating he will lose his titan powers in the future if not necessarily his life?) Some of you even brought up that it might be significant that this happened in the Paths dimension itself.

I only noticed the thumb when taking this poll.

It’s foreshadowing for sure, lots of focus on that panel. The literal cost for his freedom from shackles was his preferred method of transforming. We can’t tell yet, but Eren lost his thumb in paths land. As far as we know no one has been injured in this place. It could be permanent. Also worth noting that he’s about to touch Ymir with a bloody hand... blood, sins of the past... there’s something there

It’s only important that he broke free of the chains

It’s to show how heavy those chains were. That, or to show that Eren has literally the pain tolerance of the one guy who got stuck in a canyon and sawed off his arm.

Eren losing his thumb is very important, it happened in the paths dimension.

  IF YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS? 1,463 Responses

Building on the last question, we asked those of you who think Eren’s loss of his thumb important to say why. 57.8% of you think it was an important display of his determination. However, the point was brought up by some of you that the Devil as drawn in the manga and anime only has four digits on his hand!

He can no longer show approval

Grisha stabbed himself in the right hand, the one that led Faye to her death. And now, Eren's left thumb is chopped off, the classical symbol of his ability to lead humanity to salvation/destruction. It might not have any deeper narrative impact than just reminding the reader these Jaegers are at fault for whatever the outcome is, shaped by their own hand.

The devil depicted in the book is shown with only 4 fingers.

Is it too late to say I'm just in this for the fight scenes?

Because we haven't had a gratuitous moment in over five pages.

  RATE THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT: AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY, EREN IS A VILLAIN. 1,673 Responses

Another point on that gray morality, how many of you think Eren is a villain at this point in the story? 5.5% of you strongly agreed with that idea, 15.2% agreed, but a little less, and 37.2% were neutral. On the other hand, 24.3% disagreed, and 17.8% look at the aforementioned 24.3% disagreers and say, “I’m you, but stronger.”

  IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE ONLY ONE OPTION, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY EREN’S MAIN MOTIVATION IS? 1,662 Responses

Just over three quarters of you (76%) believe Eren’s main motivation is still Freedom; the alpha and omega of the manga, his driving force as much now as it ever was. Just over 17% of you think that Eren’s main motivation is his friends, a shockingly low number, unless many of you believe Freedom for himself and for his friends is one and the same. Very small numbers of you believe that he is motivated by an external force, such as the will of a Titan, or his country.

I wish Eren showed Zeke the pain the Warriors suffered due to their lack of freedom.

Does Historia fall under friends for Erens motivation?

You can't chain freedom

Eren’s about to have a heated freedom fighter moment and destroy the whole world

I think Eren kind of knows that he is doing a bad thing. We just have to look his eyes during  the Reiss attack to see that he knows he is taking a big risk. But I am sure he does that for his people and his freedom.

  ON A SCALE OF 1 TO HANNIBAL LECTOR, HOW MUCH OF A PSYCHOPATH IS EREN? 1,672 Responses

We got some bombshells this chapter about Eren. Some answered questions, some raised them. Of the 1,672 responses, 78.5% of you, when factoring in this new information, rated Eren Jaeger a 3 or higher on the Psychopath Scale™, with 4 being the most popular rating. 12.4% of you rated him a 2, and 9% rated him a 1.

  REGARDLESS OF HIS MORALITY, HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE EREN JAEGER ANYWAY? 1,672 Responses

Regardless of any perceived psychopathy, about 56% of you guys still dedicate your hearts to Eren Jaeger. 21.5% of you dedicate like, 80% of your heart to him. ~14% rated their love at a 3, 3.9% rated it a 2, and 5.6% rated it a 1.

  DO YOU THINK ISAYAMA'S "EVIL" PORTRAYAL OF EREN IS A RUSE? 1,654 Responses

We are clearly a fandom divided with almost an equal number of yes’s and no’s. The remainder of the fandom is unwilling to commit but holding out hope. This wasn’t the only three-way split on the poll. The question “Does the ends justify the means?” has a similar result. Maybe there’s a connection.

The thing I love about attack on Titan is that there is no good and evil. There’s more nuance to the characters’ motivations and actions. Eren is not evil. He just is. His actions may be viewed as evil by those adversely affected by him, but I don’t think Isayama is portraying him as evil or as an antagonist. He just is. And I’m looking forward to seeing what it is exactly that he’s fighting so hard for.

Even so after what Eren did to Grisha, of how he persuaded him to remind him his hatred, plus this "EVIL" dye of his persona, I want to believe that this is his only option, it's the sacrifice that is worth paying if that means making reality " that scenario." And it is evident seeing his expression that he does not enjoy doing this at all.

Zeke and Eren are supposed to appear as an angel and a demon on each of Grisha’s shoulders, but neither is fully evil or good, so I’m not sure where Isayama is going with this.

This fandom has been in constant denial about Eren character direction, the reaction to this chapter is another show of that. I cannot wait to see what mental gymnastics they do to justify genocide once the full Rumbling Is confirmed as Eren plan.

If eren indeed become the final antagonist and plans on mass murder/ending the world.... REINER HELOS BRAUN, PLEASE SAVE US ALL.

  ARE YOU HAPPY ZEKE AND GRISHA RECONCILED? 1,671 Responses

Whether or not you like Grisha and/or Zeke, most of us (63.5%) thought the moment the two of them shared this chapter was beautiful. 23.1% are hesitant to jump to conclusions however, and think it is too soon to be certain of the authenticity of this reconciliation.

Grisha's feelings were unambiguously genuine, but it wasn't reconciliation he sought. As for Zeke, I'd say his current full opinion of Grisha remains to be seen, likely even by Zeke himself.

I actually teared up omg they deserve it

I know, I'm supposed to feel good about that moment and probably pity Zeke, but I just don't have it in me to sympathize with a person working hard to euthanize a whole race of people, tragic backstory or not. I do, however, sympathize with Grisha. Constantly struggling with his knowledge of the outside world and the past, struggling to bring his mission to an end because the greater good doesn't seem so great when you have to kill innocent children for it, etc. I'm happy he got some closure with Zeke at least, even if it was just in PATHS realm.

It's nice this moment happened but it still does not erase what horrible things grisha did to zeke as a father

It's nice to see Grisha has redeeming qualities and to see Zeke making a slip of the tongue and calling him dad. I loved how Zeke contrasted with Eren in comparison to Grisha.

Meh. Zeke got closure with his father, fuckin yay. -_-

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ELEMENT OF TIME TRAVEL? 1,669 Responses

It’s finally confirmed! Almost half of the fandom (48.7%) can get behind Isayama throwing time travel into the mix since he’s been dropping hints since chapter one.  25% of respondents straight up love it, and 9.3% say the concept is growing on them.

Confused, but I'm loving the direction of the story. I was hoping there'd be a sci-fi element to the story, and it seems like we're starting to get it.

I do like the time travel concept but it doesn't fit in SnK universe, imho.

If AoT world indeed works in predetermined fashion it nullifies element of freewill for me. And it kinda cheapens the struggle of characters which is sad. Like, now it's all as if Eren is just following sophisticated instruction. Does that all matter? I hope so.

I'm worried about it but I hope Yams can pull it off amazingly

I don't know how people could think that the Attack Titan's ability came out of nowhere, it has been foreshadowed since literally the start and time loop theories have been going around for years. Not just based on the first few panels either but on Eren instinctively knowing how to use the power, and when Kruger got memories from the future it was pretty much confirmed.

Isn't it more like "mind travel" at this stage?

its interesting but i dont think its as complex or crazy as its made out to be

I really didn't like the time travel aspect as it leads to a paradox. I get that it was foreshadowed, but I just wish it had been handled better. Time travel is easy mess up, and these recent chapters has given me doubts on the story's direction.

Ouch. Please. How??? Why?? I still don’t get it.

Seems to have been woven into the story incredibly well and I do not really see it has time travel.  Instead it seems to be that the memories of certain titans are linked and can trancend time.

  ARE OG YMIR'S EYES CLOSED, OR ARE THEY OPEN BUT BLANK? 1,666 Responses

This chapter provided us with a better look at OG Ymir, but even that wasn’t enough to settle the issue of her eyes. While half the fandom believes they are closed, the other half isn’t so sure, selecting the “Open and blank” or “I’m not sure” options.

  TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS? 1,649 Responses

The fandom is fairly evenly split three ways here on the morality question.  Slightly more than a third (34.8%) say that sometimes things can be taken Too Far and there are some lines that should not be crossed.  The remainder of the fandom was divided, with 31% believing that any action can be justified if the outcome is favorable, and 31% being unsure on this one.  There were a ton of write-ins on this one:

Any outcome is justified if you win

Since Isayama introduced us to very interesting topic of time as not a progression of events, but as a big ball of things happening all at the same moment, I think that gives us a cue to think about the artificiality of the idea that some things are just means while others are just ends, and that they are unrelated. Means and outcomes are an item, I don't think it's posible to get a good outcome from cruel means.  

In real life: it depends. Here, reading a fictional story: anything goes. You guys take it this too seriously.

I lean pretty heavy into consequentialism, so I do believe in the ends justifying the means, but you also have to be careful that the means don't make you lose sight of the end. Having all the information you possibly can regarding how to reach said end is vital. Eren's ends are possibly noble, but he's working with incomplete information and could easily end up causing something terrible because of this, which is what I think will happen.

*Erwin has entered the chat*

Regardless of my own personal opinions. I do enjoy reading about characters who will do anything to get to their desired “end”

It's completely unethical to kill humans for a 'better future'. That's what Thanos and Daenarys did and they both were villains. It keeps the story spicy but I will could never write off what Eren did, even if he saves everyone in the end.

If it benefits Paradis then yes. If it benefits Marley, absofuckinlutely not

I believe in the end justify the means if it involves saving a lot of people. Not as a personal use, just like Eren is doing.

Depends on the ends and depends on the means. Context matters.

Eh I don’t know. A favourable outcome is subjective and the cost of getting there is also subjective. If I have lines I think should ever be crossed, then why shouldn’t they be crossed? What if my perspective changes afterwards? No one knows how things will turn out in the end.

"No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise."

  WHO DO YOU HOPE WINS THIS COSMIC BATTLE? 1,749 Responses

Morally questionable or not - most respondents (66.6%) want Eren to be successful and carry out his plan. In contrast, only 2.3% want Zeke’s plan to come to fruition. Pretty much everyone else wants both of these problematic brothers to be stopped.

A meteor. Just put them all out of their misery.

Both of them are awful so I hope everybody will join hands and stop them. This way the other characters will receive the spotlights they deserve as well. After all this series shouldn't revolve only around the Yeager bros for god sake. I'm sick of their shit.

Everything is already preordained, Erens plan will come to light. Its just interesting to see how it unfolds.

I hope someone (my boy Reiner needs his redemption, please) stops them both

I just want to know how the story will end. I don't want to have any expectations.

I think Armin will come into play somehow. He was brought back for a reason and that Eren was right when he said Armin would be the saviour of humanity.

I want Eren to just “Win”!⚡️ (But also say sorry in some way to people he has hurt >:()

I want to see eren carry out his plan BUT not because I’m rooting for him just because I have no idea what he’s trying to do now and im confused

I'm still a slave because of my ignorance so I can't make that choice for myself yet.

  WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,764 Responses

Once you got PATHS™, you never go back - or at least that’s how almost half of respondents felt. Levi and Hange are certainly missed though, almost a quarter of respondents are hoping to see them next chapter.

Each chapter I get more and more confused by what's going on i'm so confused pls isayama i beg you just leave us on a cliffhanger for like 3 chapters and take us to levi and hange at least that wouldnt have confusing plot points.

MOAR P A T H S and Annie plz

It's about fith or sixth time I'm choosing "levi and hange" when questioned what I'm hoping to see next chapter. Someone go tell Isayama...

Too tired of the Yeager Bros. Wanting my Levi and Hange back.

I *would* like to see what happens when Eren catches OG Ymir, but next chapter, can we please cut away to all of the above?

I hope we get to see Ymir's memories in the next chapter, at least the memory related to where it all started

PATHSland is great, but the travels through Grisha's memories were getting a bit boring. I'm glad we're back in current PATHSland and am excited to see what happens with Eren and Ymir next chapter.

Ugh I just really REALLY want to see Historia after these Path dimension shenanigans. Non-pregnant Historia. Please.

Memories of Ymir the Founder first and foremost. Not holding my breath for a Historia cliffhanger but it would be nice too.

(Guys, where is the Floch option, I miss him)

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,607 Responses

While Reddit continues to make up the majority of our respondents, the Attack on Titan fandom is everywhere. Wherever you choose to discuss the series, we appreciate your support of this chapter poll!

Add an option for discussing the series on Snapchat. We have been discussing on snap since chapter 91

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 250 Responses

Eren was his daddy's daddy

It has come to my attention that I am too stupid for this manga

Gotta love the irony : Zeke wanting to save eren from grisha's brainwashing while in fact grisha's been lowkey brainwashed by Eren the whole time. Also zeke turning out to be Dad's favourite, who would have thought ? And remember when Eren wanted to die because he learned that his dad slaughtered the Reiss family ? Yeah, didn't age well...

Probabaly one of the better chapters. Much explanation and dialog. Less Titan action and SC flying around. Just how I like it.

Thank fuck Isayama has the IQ of Einstein hopped up on speed, any lesser writer would've fucked up the time travel aspect.

So Grisha is asking his older son, who murdered maaaaany people for the sake of his terrible plan, to stop his younger son from executing his terrible plan and murder more people? The Jeagers are all psychopaths.

Having mixed thoughts about all of this. I've been getting more and more skeptical at each chapter about the direction of this whole arc, and I wonder how Isayama will wrap up all of this in a satisfying manner under a year.

shit wus hapening

Gimme rumbling pls.

I think the roller coaster has just begun

Eren told Isayama to make Reiner suffer

i am patiently waiting for isayama to finish the series and THEN comment whether it was bad writing or not. I just hope he is not writing himself into a corner and pull a GoT ending....

I hate both Zeke and Eren’s plans ( if Eren’s plan truly is the rumbling) . However, if I had to chose one to carry out I’d probably go with Zeke’s. Euthanasia is terrible but if Eren’s plan truly is the rumbling then that would kill almost everyone. At least with Zeke’s plan less people will die. Killing off one race is better than killing off almost everyone.

Eren Kruger telling Grisha that Mikasa and Armin need to be saved despite the fact neither were born at the time makes perfect sense now: it was Kruger's Attack Titan powers kicking in where he received a future vision of when Grisha would pass the Attack Titan to his son. That was the earliest foreshadow I was able to pinpoint regarding the Attack Titan twist, but the title "To you, 2000 years in the future," seems to also tie into this as well since it addresses someone in the future, as if someone from long ago is talking to someone from the future (a future Attack Titan user--most likely Eren)!

this chapter is mind blowing. the moment where grisha reconciled with zeke, i wonder if eren purposely made it to save his father from regret before died and to save his brother from his dead father's shadow.

Since the next chapter is the final chapter of the volume I feel like we will get the conclusion of the path realm arc thingie, it wouldn't make sense if they were going to do a levi chapter at the last chapter of the volume

So far, chapter 50 is still my favorite anniversary chapter. I feel like the actual climax of the story, which is possibly what we heard in the ending audio, will be the chapter that's most likely to be able to top that. I genuinely enjoyed this chapter as well, but I was expecting a bit more out of it than what we got considering this chapter marked the 10th anniversary of the manga's serialization. Regardless of that, this chapter did offer very important revelations that I'm excited to see play out in future chapters.

Look, I just want Eldians of both Paradis and Liberio live freely and happily and I don't want the entire world to be destroyed. Eren wants the first part (at least for Paradis) and Zeke wants the second. Armin save us!

I don’t see why so many fans are surprised about Eren’s behavior. He was 9 when he killed two men willingly. He’s always so full of hate during some of his titan fights. That boy will always prioritize what he personally believes is right in the moment, even if it ruins his friendships. He does care a lot, which is why he’s so passionate about his actions, & that’s dangerous.

I really liked the visuals, I feel like Issayama is having a lot of fun drawing these paths chapters.

The Reiss kids actively wanted Frieda to kill Grisha so why was he even conflicted about killing them, smh

We have Three-eyed raven time travel magic now, won’t be surprised to see Greenseers, Skinchangers or dragons in the future.

I tear up every chapter recently man. every time we revisit old memories, something is revealed or people talk about their dreams. It all just makes me realize how much time has passed and how we’re so close to the end. Fantastic 10th anniversary chapter and a fitting reveal of the Attack Titan’s power. It really highlights how while this is Eren/Grisha’s story, but really it’s the Attack Titan’s. They’re connected through that Titan but simply because of that Titan this entire history can be made. And that’s why the work’s title is also the name of the one thing that drives this story, much like itself, forward. 進撃の巨人

Zeke’s PowerPoint presentation was completely hijacked. There is no objective truth regarding heroes and villains. However, it remains unclear whether what Eren wants is ideal for everyone, eldians or just the people Who aren’t important people to him. I still think the rumbling is bogus. It’s been talked about way too much, if it were to happen where’s the shock? Also it screws everyone over because of how fire tornadoes work.  

I wish Eren would teach me 9D chess

You think they have sour cream in paths? (PT:: We missed you!)

[ruffiorocks]

Lena isnt the only one who has killed people.

Soo this might be unpopular, but if people are going to harp on about Lena killing Lex id like to remind you of a few other instances you seem to have forgotten about:

1. Kara killed or rather ‘obliterated’ parasite. Parasite was actually the mutated version of an innocent man called Rudy who was taken over by a parasite that corrupted him. Kara made the decision to kill him. Now whether you agree if this was justified or not is up to you,  but the fact is KARA made the decision to KILL a dangerous monster that would have caused all manner of havoc and nearly killed Jonn. But remember that Rudy himself was an innocent.

2, Anyone remember when Alex killed Astra with a KRYPTONITE sword?! Alex didnt have to kill Astra, Astra hesitated when she said she would kill Jonn. Alex could have stabbed her anywhere, like literally anywhere and then Jonn could have gotten out of the way. Again, this is up to you if you think its justified or not. But its still someone being killed. Astra wanted to save Earth, she didnt go about it in the best way but she wasnt your typical bad guy out for themselves. Alex killed her to protect Jonn.

3. I dont know why this one is ignored so much since it happened so recently, but am i the only one who saw Jonn MURDER an unarmed Manchester Black because Manchester taunted him? No just me that saw this happen? Manchester made Jonn see his family and then a white martian, Jonn, a centuries year old alien who has been through some s**t allowed Manchester to get to him, he then morphed into his Martian form in a rage, disarmed Manchester and didnt even hesitate to run him through with that staff! In other words, Jonn disarmed a guy and murdered an unarmed man because he got pissed. This one unlike the others, doesn't actual have any justifiable reason! 

4. Lena shoots Corbin, a man who had a GUN to Alex’s head, Kara is not faster than a gun touching Alex’s head. Adam died as a result of the Harun El, but he made the decision to go ahead with that even after Lena told him no and to go home. Adam was not a child, or a ‘kid’ he was an adult who made an adult and well informed decision. It went to s**t and Lena refused to do it again even when she was told to by Col Haley. You can talk legal ethics and all that jazz, but the fact is the show hasn't got time for logistics, if it did half the show would be in question.  Lex, a man who previously committed mass murders, both before and actually within the court. He killed all his guards, he then attempted to destroy Argo City (a city thriving now because Lena managed to figure out how to make Harun El), he was literally only seconds before trying to kill Kara! Lena knows that the world wont be safe with Lex in it so she makes the painful decision to shoot him. 

7. Remember when Kara went in guns blazing to kill Reign? When she made the decision to kill Reign but f**ked it up so Mon El and Alura died? She had to turn back time so she could save them and change HER DECISION to kill Reign. Shame Lena didnt have a time travel option to undo her mistakes.

6. Does anyone remember when Jonn was so pissed to see a White Martian he put KRYPTONITE hand cuffs on Kara, he had to have been carrying around with him so she couldn't stop him from killing the white martian? Alex and Kara had to beg Jonn not to murder it while it was UNCONCIOUS! No? Just me that remembers this then. Lucky Jonn had Kara there eh? 

7. Just a small one here, but does anyone remember when James, Winn and another CatCo employee were under the effects of Myriad and jumped off a building? Kara couldn't save all three, but she consciously chose to save James and Winn before that other woman. This isn't the same as her CHOOSING to kill Parasite, but Kara still made the decision to grab her friends first. This isnt necessarily a bad act, but it was Kara making a life and death decision for someone else in favor of two of her friends. We all know we would do the same, but that woman still died. 

Sooo how is the only bad one here Lena? Lena kills the DC version of Hitler 2.0 to protect the world, like the others who have all killed someone. But apparently Lena  is evil incarnate? Lex deserved a fair trial? Just like Hitler did? Yeah... no! If you had the chance to kill Hitler you would of. Lena apparently is the only one who is held accountable when she is responsible for a death, but Alex, Jonn and Kara get off Scott free and those deaths are completely forgotten. 

Kara wont ever forgive Lena for killing Lex or for the death of Adam? Well Kara was pissed at Jonn for a while because she thought he killed her aunt, someone she was related to and loved (so not the same as Lex) but when she found out that it was Alex, her own SISTER that killed Astra she was shocked for all of 5 seconds before she hugged Alex and reached out a hand to Jonn who had lied about it. Not sure Lena needs forgiveness from Kara for shooting HER brother anyway. 

Kara was also completely fine with the fact that Lena shot Corbin to save Alex. She even used it as an example when she was defending Lena to the rest of the gang. 

Adams death doesn't actually have bugger all to do with Kara even if she does find out. 

Kara was shocked for all of 5 seconds when Jonn unnecessarily killed an unarmed Manchester Black. When they got back to the hospital that same day she told him he could still be a man of peace and wasnt arsed at all. 

So Kara can forgive Alex for killing a member of her family, she can forgive Jonn for killing Manchester, she can forgive Lena for shooting Corbin who was trying to kill Alex, she can live with the fact she killed Parasite (with NO consequences and an apparent ‘no kill’ rule) and in an alternate time line attempted to kill Reign, but for some unexplained reason KARA wont be able to forgive Lena for shooting the insane, mass murdering, genocidal, psychopath who tried to kill her cousin, tried to kill her, tried to kill her best friend (Lena) had her other friend (James) shot, and attempted genocide again on Argo City that would have killed Kara’s mother and the rest of her race? Yeah..... I see some double standards going on here.

For the record, Lena doesn't need Kara’s forgiveness for the deaths of Lex and Adam. If she faced consequences for those she would be the ONLY one out of all the above to face consequences for killing people. Its lucky that Jonn had Kara around to talk him out of killing the martian, didnt seem to remember that little talk when it came down to Manchester, and Kara didn't seem to remember it either. Its a shame Lena didn't have her best friend to talk her out of killing Lex, but that another story. 

In conclusion, Lena is NOT the only one on this show who has killed/murdered someone. I honesty believe its just because people are looking at Lena expecting bad things to happen, or they hate her and they see nothing but bad things. But the others are all the ‘designated’ heroes so any murder or death they cause is absolutely fine, justifiable and instantly forgotten. They never face any consequences for their actions. Jonn was a civilian who killed another civilian, if Kara was actually doing her ‘JOB’ she should have taken him to the police station/DEO like she does anybody else. But again, logistics. 

For the record, im not saying there weren't reasons for all these deaths, or the above characters are bad, im just stating that it isnt all black and white and they aren't any better than Lena in these cases .

Whether or not what Lena did was right or wrong, the others have essentially done the same or had to be prevented from doing the same. Lena unfortunately didn't have a bestie super to talk her out of it, or the option of time travel to fix it. 

Oh and one last thing in response to “Lena HAD Kryptonite!”

1. Alex shot her SISTER out of the sky with Kryptonite. 

2. Jonn carried around a Kryptonite knife he ‘really liked’ and was disappointed when Kara the kryptonian didnt bring it back with her after a fight?? 

3. Jonn had Kryptonite cuffs he brought to a fight with him purely so he could use them on Kara so she could stop him from killing an unconscious alien. 

Rant over.

As always, discussion welcome, abuse not so much :-)