#i love being gay. i love being trans. it’s very hard but it’s brought me so much joy and love

[manwithoutaspleen]

I think “the closet” is a useful phrase and idea but I think that “the” sometimes hides the fact that there isn’t just one closet, there’s a closet in every relationship. And like. Straight people have a hard time with this because they aren’t aware of these closets, but they CAN sense it presently, directly or indirectly, and THAT alone can make them uncomfortable, even if they’re generally ok w gay or whatever.

But for us, we also are rarely entirely one or the other. For a lot of people, they’re out in some contexts, and not others. And the balance of who you are out to and who you aren’t and all those reasons makes SUCH a difference in your relationship to queerness, and how you perceive it.

Many interesting ways to have these gender and sexuality things. You can see how your upbringing can play such a role in how you perceive and identify yourself because a lot of gender and sexuality IS about how we relate to other people. That’s as much a part of it as our innate senses of self, which I DO also think is important.

But people with very similar feelings about their transition goals or preferred terms or their ideal partner, all kinds of things that make up our identity as queer people, and come to very different identities for themselves. And I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about the queer community! We have so much in common, and we are free to explore and understand so much of ourselves, and then we share that with each other!

[orionsangel86]

The fact that Good Omens S2 was SO QUEER.

Not Just Maggie and Nina (and Lindsey)

Not just Aziraphale and Crowley

Not even just Gabriel and Beelzebub (who is NB)

But the magician shopkeeper and his trans/NB spouse who wore a fancy early 19th century dress to the ball.

Job's son who was flirting with Aziraphale (hilariously played by Ty Tennant giving Michael Sheen heart eyes in front of his dad lmao)

Even the tough macho man in Scotland that Aziraphale borrows the phone from - using it for "Grindr".

Plus of course Michael, Uriel, Muriel, and Dagon also all being non binary/gender queer characters.

With all this, there was no homophobia, no one batted an eyelid at any characters sexualities, sexuality wasn't even brought up, characters just are who they are and like who they like. Its a non issue in the GO universe.

AKA my favourite type of queer representation. The same type found in The Sandman (show not comic).

And whilst there was plenty of drama and not everyone gets a happy queer ending (YET) there was no queer trauma to be seen. No hate crimes, no "bury your gays", no stupid discussions about how HARD it is to be out of the closet in a bigoted world, because the GO world isn't bigoted.

Its SUCH a BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

I know we have similar experiences in The Sandman, In OFMD, and even in WWDITS, but each time a new show takes this very new approach towards queer representation I feel like I'm once again sinking into a comforting hug from someone I love, who loves me back.

Its just really fucking wonderful to see. I hope we keep seeing it more and more often.

[etheries1015]

Sorry, I overread it (It's currently 10pm where I live, I've been up since 4am, and my anxiety is kicking. Requesting things from people I never requested before is hard >.<)

May I request Riddle, Kalim, Idia and Malleus reacting to finding out their crush is trans-masc? Either by reader telling them or them finding out by accident

Never apologize for asking questions and sending asks! Please take care of yourself, get lots of rest, water, and sustenance <3

Finding out you're trans-masc

Featuring: Riddle, Kalim, Idia, Malleus

WARNINGS (please read): I'm a cis woman and I CANNOT stress enough that I may not be able to portray this as well as someone who actually identifies as such! I did do research ahead of time to make sure I try my very best to capture the essence of someone who identifies as trans-masc, but everyone's experiences are different. If I, in ANY way shape, or form, used incorrect terminology/representation or mistakenly offended anyone, please educate me so that I become more knowledgeable and can build my understanding. Other than that, I hope I did well in writing this for you to enjoy <3 Thank you for your time and for the request <3

Riddle

The topic came up during the first time you had gone to an Unbirthday party. Being misgendered by Riddle, you spoke up gently to inform him of your disposition.

"I'm...well, I don't use She/her pronouns." You shrugged. Riddle pursed his lips in frustration at his own confusion, he hadn't met someone falling under the LGBTQ umbrella before, he was incredibly sheltered and closed-minded for a long time due to his mother's teachings.

"I see..." Riddle nodded, "Then, please explain it to me so that I may not make the same mistake twice." He was eager to learn more about people and their experiences, especially learning about someone he found himself becoming more and more attached to.

Spends an entire night reading upon such topics- he was very quick to adapt and correct people around you whenever he found they did not address you properly.

"Does it bother you?" You had asked him once out of pure curiosity, and his response was with furrowed eyebrows and confusion.

"And why should it? It does not matter what you identify as. You are still (y/n). You are not your gender, and not your sex. You are..." He blushed deeply, you smiling to urge him on. You knew about his crush on you, of course, yet he seemed to be far too shy to admit it yet.

"You're..." He hesitated, "failing this class. G-get back to studying! quit getting distracted with silly questions or it's off with your head!"

You loved seeing him open his mind to many different concepts and treat you no differently than anyone else (minus some favoritism, hehe <3)

Kalim

It was actually Jamil who brought it up in conversation. The topic of "LGBTQ" came up, of course, Kalim understood the basics of people who identified as gay, however when the term "trans-masc" came up in regards to you, he was incredibly eager to learn more.

"Trans-masc? I thought they were (y/n)?"

"Kalim- no-"

It didn't take long for him to easily come around to the new terminology. You maybe gave him a 10 minute crash course before he accepted it face value.

"I see...so one day you're going to be by my side not as a queen, but as my royal spouse!" You were flabbergasted at his brazen comment. With a red face, you hadn't time to react before his hands were already around you in a deep hug.

"Haha! Oh, right! The pop club has a new song, wanna listen to it?"

He loves you no matter what. The most understanding and unconditionally in love person to exist, the definition of sunshine

Might overshare sometimes. He will bring it up sometimes to other people (if they misgender you) and give THEM a crash course on it! You love that he is so passionate about you, though. xoxo

Idia

He knew. He is chronically online, he knows all about it. When he first met you, he even asked what your preferred pronouns were.

I don't really know what else to say for Idia, he honestly doesn't care who you identify as. You play video games with him and give him love, that's enough for him!!

Can take it incredibly seriously If someone misgenders you or tries to bully you about your identity, his hair turns a fiery red and he turns gives them a whole one hour lesson while belittling that person calling them as intelligent as a soggy piece of bread.

The other person is crying by the end of it, but honestly nobody deserves to be treated disrespectfully like that.

actually how he confessed his crush to you, lol. In a fit of rage to someone who wasn't being very kind... "How dare you treat the one I love like that, you stupid normie piece of-" Realizes his mistake, face turns red, turns to you (whos face is also red)

"ummm.....Nevermind!" He runs away, but there was no getting away from you heuheu

even though he can be shy and kind of tsundere in public, he can be really passionate and will defend you at a moments notice and educate other people who are, as he puts, less than him.

In private? Sitting in his lap playing video games

Malleus

Actually, learned this from Idia. It was during class when the topic of LGBTQ came up, and when speaking among the students he over heard Idia telling ortho about your disposition as trans-masc.

Immediately came to you

"Child of man, what is 'trans-masc' and why did Idia use this term to describe you? Could you elaborate?" You two decided to take a stroll around the forest where you spent hours talking about all sorts of different people and the terms they used, explaining to him about dysphoria and how you discovered that the pronouns you were born with just didn't sit right with you.

Nods in understanding, but ends up purchasing a bunch of books Idia and Lilia recommended to him to increase his understanding.

Even though there are indeed things he will never be able to sympathize with properly and understand, such as the effects of dysphoria, but he will respect you full heartedly and not treat you any different despite still growing to learn about such topics.

All in all, it does not matter what you identify as. He finds himself completely enamored with you, loving how you teach him new things about anything and everything with humans- he will treat you the same as you treat him- impartial due to status, class, gender, pronouns, human or fae. He knew you were the one he wanted to rule Briar Valley next to one day- as his lovely spouse.

~~

I hope I was able to answer your request satisfyingly <3 Please let me know if anything needs to be changed and I shall update accordingly, I myself am always learning and growing every day! Please be kind <3

[squidorcuddlefish]

transfem josto headcanon pls.............?

a/n: gay people everywhere

i decided i’d do transmasc!reader with transfem!josto because i thought of more concepts for that scenario :3

cw for some angst, gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, outdated language for transgender people (no slurs, though) & odd, kinda scary family structures.

SFW

• Arranged marriage… It was super awkward for the two of you at first. Neither of you two knew the other was trans. Or how to come out.

• The first few weeks were hell for the both of you. She had to pretend to be the strong, tough man of the house, and you had to pretend to be her loving, traditional wife…

• She loved to comment on the outfits your family bought for you, saying how pretty they were. You thought she was just being a “supportive boyfriend”, but she was just really jealous that you got to wear them.

• It finally all came out when you caught her sitting at your vanity, trying her best with your makeup. You were shocked when instead of her getting angry and throwing something at you (Like she would’ve done if anyone else had come in), she started panicking and crying instead.

It was sort of hard to word what you were trying to ask her. Assume the wrong thing and say the wrong words and you could’ve been killed. You try your best though, sitting next to her and brushing her hair out of her face. You tell her, “It’s okay. I think you look very pretty.”

She’s still for a while, but eventually clings to you and cries into your chest. Through sobs, she apologizes and says she’s “A perv.” You assure her she’s not.

With a lot of consideration, you finally ask if this is just a sexual thing, or if she has these feelings outside of sexual fantasies. She’s silent for a moment, nothing but the occasional sniffle from her. If saying that had pissed her off, you would’ve known by now, so you figure she’s just thinking about it.

“This is so wrong,” She says. “I can’t just be a woman. I’m supposed to take care of you, and my family, and our business, and…” She trails off.

“If it’s how you feel, hun, then it’s okay.”

“I wasn’t born a woman. I can’t be one. I won’t ever be one.”

You press your face into her hair and rub her back gently. “Can I tell you something?”

She looks up at you, her mascara streaking down her face.

“I know exactly what you’re thinking right now. Because, I,” You words get stuck in your throat for a moment. “Well, me too.”

That brings out the waterworks. She sobs and squeezes you close. She’s finally being understood. It’s been so long.

• The previous conversation brought you two closer than you ever would’ve thought. You really thought you’d be stuck with some cocky, misogynistic crime boss. She was, but you learnt that it was just an outer shell of her. A gimmick.

• It takes a long time for her shell to crack. She had spent so long building it up and didn’t really know how to break it down. She really appreciates your help, though. She especially likes when you let her try on your outfits.

• She loves to sit on your lap while you do her makeup. Sometimes you’ll hold a mirror up and let her watch what you’re doing so she can learn.

• You started gifting her ties with more feminine colors and patterns. If she can’t wear a skirt, at least she can wear a tie with some pretty flowers on it. Plus, it reminds her of you throughout the day.

• Wedding day was awkward… So much family nonsense. So much dysphoria.

Despite this, you two made it work. You dealt with the odd wedding shenanigans before settling into your hotel room for the night. You two had planned this weeks before. The two of you exchanged outfits and reenact the day. Exchanging vows and rings, the kiss, and dances. Watching her twirl around with a smile — a real smile, which was extremely rare from her — had to have been the prettiest thing you’d seen your entire life.

ok enough sappy shit

NSFT

• Matches her tie with her lingerie under her suit. She doesn’t leave too much for imagination. :3

• Calling her “Good girl” or “Pretty girl” will literally melt her in your hands like putty.

• She keeps a small dagger in her garter sometimes.

• Laying her over your lap and fingering her is the best thing she had ever felt. And she definitely will let you know, too. She’s a moaning mess, whimpering into the sheets under her. If you get an angle just right into her, she’ll cry and kick her feet against the mattress. She whined and cried so much that you were genuinely worried for her, so you slowed to a stop and asked if she was okay. From a side eye, she said if you stopped before she finished she’d kill you. She didn’t mean that literally. Or maybe she did… You weren’t going to find out the hard way.

• She has a slight preference for bottoming, but she does like to top, too. She loves to watch your face when her hands are squeezing your hips while she’s pounding you.

• After a long day, she comes home exhausted and frustrated and just needs to get it out. She changes into her favorite set of lingerie and lets you play with her, but it’s just not enough. Soon, she’s on top of you and thrusting into you.

On a particularly stressful day, she goes on a bit of a tangent about how disappointed she is that you can’t fuck her.

“I always have to do everything around here, hm? Yeah? Fuck, you're lucky you feel good around me."

You wanted to snap back and tell her that you don’t even need to fuck her, just fingering her will have her a drooling mess for you. But she’s going way too fast for you to even form a sentence. It mostly comes out as “Wh- Well, well you-“

She just tells you to be quiet, putting a hand over your mouth. She says “If I’m going to be fucking you, at least just shut up and take it.”

Afterwards, she feels a little guilty. She pulls you close and brushes your hair with her fingers, whispering a “Sorry.”

a/n: okay, well i had WAY too much fun with this and i still feel like i could write 1000 more words for her. sorry if this is a little messy, i was just kinda word dumping and didn’t really know how to fit everything together LMAO

[johannestevans]

This is a personal question, and please don’t feel obligated to answer if you don’t want, but are your bio family supportive of you being trans? Reason I ask is that mine are not, and I’m having a hard time not beating myself up for being more out and proud and thriving just because my bio family is simultaneously extremely controlling and totally unsupportive. You’re someone I look up to, and I wish I could be as confident and sure of myself as you seem to be.

They're generally and blandly supportive - most of them are fine. I've got one uncle who's very bigoted, but everyone dislikes him for all the reasons you'd expect from someone like that, so no one's really surprised when I call him a prick or maintain no-contact with him.

With that said, I live apart from my family and their approval of my sexuality or gender is generally not something I think much about or take into account, because at the end of the day, they're not the family I've chosen and are most loving and intimate with.

I've built my own loving community and work to be a part of the family I'm building for myself and being brought into, and that's far more important for me because we're more aligned on our shared values and priorities, because we truly respect each other, and we communicate with each other - not just on the nice and easy things or the things we love, but the things that are hard, the conflicting needs and priorities, the ways we hurt or have hurt each other, and the ways we can soothe those wounds and actually make amends, you know?

Like. A lot of cishet people really struggle with that sort of stuff, not because of something innate to being cishet, but because that sort of vulnerability and communication is very counter-cultural and feels like it's a betrayal of a lot of expected societal values.

It's a fundamentally different set of values to live by - but because I live by those values and in community with other people who do, it's a lot easier for me to just take it for granted that it's great and sexy and positive that I'm trans and gay and whatever, because why would anyone say different?

For me, love and loyalty are things that should go both ways, and if your bio family doesn't offer the sort of love and support and respect you deserve, it's entirely understandable to walk away from them until they're ready to put in the work and show you proper respect, like.

[prismatoxic]

'usual chilaios headcanons' i agree with your takes alot so if you're willing to share i'd love to hear them! even if its paragraphs long, especially if its paragraphs long! your writing tickles the brain in the best way possible

thank you anon... i'm glad you enjoy the bullshit i say and also make

it's hard for me to summarize i think in particular because i am quite fluid with how i approach headcanons. characters tend to stay close to canon (more or less depending on how much i like canon and also what story i'm doing), and the ways in which they differ vary from fic to fic, roleplay to roleplay, drawing to drawing... i know i HAVE defaults but let me see if i can actually come up with something to say about them.

trans chilchuck is one i use a lot, and while i do actually quite like cis chilchuck and greatly enjoy the things my friends do with him, it feels so me like i should put in the work if i want more trans chilchuck stuff out there. i feel like this comes across as it being all i like, but no; i'm just being fed already by all the cischuckers. besides, i love writing transmasc characters, so it works out for me. i wouldn't even say i have any compelling reasons for it. i just like it. i like the idea of him and his wife both being trans and him being the whole who had their kids.

now, as for some others i default to... i love gay laios. i think you can make a compelling case for a lot of sexualities with him, but i'm very fond of him being gay and it just not being something that ever reasonably comes up. i think i probably default to pan falin so there'd be this solidarity between them at the same time as laios realizing he doesn't also like just anyone. he's got a lot going on, and interests that far outweigh romance (especially given his feelings on people), so he doesn't typically consider doing anything with it. (this is also part of why the mage before they brought on marcille couldn't get anywhere with him; it wasn't just him being socially clueless, it was also him having 0 interest in her the way she wanted.)

chilchuck is bi for me, and he's both casual about it and also generally unwilling to talk about it. once he's more comfortable with his friends i imagine he just tosses it out there, but before then, his sexuality is another one of those things you couldn't pry out of him if you tried.

god, after that... i dunno. either i stick to their canon backstories/personalities with a little personal flair, or i have them behave differently for an AU. i could probably come up wiht more for specific questions, but tragically when left to my own devices i can be kind of aimless. gomenasai 🙏 i hope this was fun anyway

[catchyhuh]

Please please please hit us with the Gender Studies!!!!

YOU HAVE OPENED TJE FLOODGATES!!! LET’S GO GENDER actually sexuality too let’s hit ‘em both because i have my piece and need to speak it. less about their physical bodies, more about their Mindscape. do i sound insane? i will by the end of this i promise!

lupin: listen give me a week i will compile all the evidence i have that lupin is CANONICALLY bisexual. beyond that he’s… also probably polyamorous cuz. y’know. look around. this is one hell of an open relationship. i feel like out of all of them though he’s the only one that’d like. bring it up. state it proudly. his gender is fun because you know mp didn’t MEAN anything writing a ? next to GENDER on Lupin’s little govt file but. oh baby. there’s definitely some meshing of a man and a woman in there, simultaneously coexisting even if he’s in guy mode or whatever. but like. he would only really notice that if it was pointed out to him. y’know that tweet that says “i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job rn so i’m not really thinking about it too much rn” that’s Lupin the Third

jigen: yeah prepare to be shocked. that’s a gay man. that’s a homosexual. contrary to the jokes i don’t think he’s GAY and misogynistic because of it, i think he just has (lets be real somewhat understandable in his position) beef with fujiko specifically. but when you look at his other interactions with women, they’re either just basic decency for a fellow human being or largely apathetic. and that getting betrayed thing but lets be real again that’s happening regardless of if he’s truly in love with them or if it’s just an “i have eyes” aesthetic appreciation. the transmasc reading of jigen like clicks in my head and it’s hard to pinpoint why exactly? i guess it’s just because he’s got that like. completely self-assured guy vibe. he knows he’s a man and that’s how it is. he doesn’t give a shit!! which could be taken as a cis guy thing too but either way he’s very comfortable in his guyhood and that’s cool. there’s a confidence and comfortability in his man-ness that you only really get after a level of selfintrospection, if that makes sense. if jigen isn’t actually trans he must be cis+ or some shit but. i’m leaning towards the former

fujiko: where lupin puts a label on it, fujiko simply makes a coy little face and shrugs her shoulders. changes the answer a little each time she really thinks about it. bi, pan, unlabeled, questioning? she’s scratched off the last one at least. she’s pretty damn sure she’ll bang any sane consenting adult with enough money. but that does bring us to another thing that i haven’t brought up with anyone yet: i’m a firm believer in demiromantic fujiko. that’s what that’d be called right? the romantic version of demisexual? fujiko just cannot form a romantic attachment to anyone unless there are years, like YEARS of consistent, honest trust and understanding in there. it’s not even an option in her mind until she’s known someone 3 years minimum, and even then that’s only when it BECOMES a SUGGESTION. sexual attraction is easy, romantic attraction is a sidequest altogether. it’s not just a mental mindset thing it’s like. her chemical makeup dude. but veering back on course, she’s got the same solidity in gender that jigen has, just in the Pink direction, so the same general reading of “is she a trans woman or does she just Get it” hits for me

goemon: goemon really hasn’t thought about his sexuality too much. he sees it as more of a person by person basis rather than a potentially gender specific attraction? if he finds a woman attractive, he finds a woman attractive, if he finds a man attractive, he finds a man attractive, if he finds a person who is attractiDo you get the general gist here? at best i could say he has a slight skew towards women, but it doesn’t like ERASE the rest of the options here. goemon views gender similarly, almost like an outsider looking in. it’s not some deep psychological perspective where he’s like, intentionally distancing himself to best study it, it’s just that he doesn’t feel a huge need to label himself in that sense. a foot in the nonbinary door. any pronouns, any terms of address, it’s no biggie to goemon! i do think he’d be somewhat interested to hear others’ perspectives on it, but he knows who he is. the one with the kickass sword lmao

zenigata: this shit is hard uh damn. nothing would shock me with him in any sense. he could be anything, he could be gay (lots of people get married to women before realizing who they are later in life!) he could be bi or pan, he could just be really butch for all i know brother!! any reading is a whole new canvas for unsuccessfully repressed tension and internal sexual turmoil! as for gender, uh it’s kind of. the same sense? he could really be anything. maybe like, betwixt jigen with the “solid in the dudeness” sense and goemon in the “just checking off boxes” shit. like regardless of if he is a MAN man his masculinity is a choice (wild sentence to be saying about the guy drawn to look silly on purpose) and HE wouldn’t get it, like he wouldn’t just start spouting off all this shit if you asked, i mean you'd probably just hear a distant dial-up tone looking at the expression on his face if you asked him. but like. a well-informed third party would get it. i know i sound wild cuz this is literally a baby boomer but listen to me,

[area51-escapee]

It is a little bit frustrating like I want to feel hopeful but it’s just obvious to me that neither party has any interest in protecting trans rights, it’s just that one party is very loud about that so everyone assumes the other party is the opposite? It appeared to me that queer people were only brought up in the context of “the LGBTQ+ community” and she did specify protecting rights to “love who you love” which is great but also marriage rights aren’t being stripped away in real time right now. Gay marriage is still legal, people aren’t having to flee their home states to get married, marriage rights aren’t under attack in the same way that trans rights are and it’s hard not to notice how that wasn’t specified at all. How it seemed like they intentionally worked around mentioning trans people, or any of the horrible things republicans have been saying about us, or any of the horrible things that are currently being done to us. It feels like we’re being intentionally left out because they don’t plan to protect us, and as long as they keep quiet about it everyone will keep calling them the “most trans friendly administration”.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Redemption Log: The Bucket Job

Title makes me think "bucket list"? either that or Keeping Up Appearances? (had to google "that show with the bucket woman" to remember the name) --- bells are playing and there is a giant semi-hollow pipe-structure of a snowman outside the building we're in. Its Christmas Special Time.

Librarian is giving the children some classic reading recomendations based on his knowledge of their likes (the girl likes pirates, which is a nice little gender-stereotype breaking to sneak in there without drawing attention to the subversion. Love it when shows feel confident doing that without the need to detract by boasting about it.) Young Man used to get Sherlock Holmes.

And the librarian is having a heart-attack... --- Harry is calling his daughter. His daughter doesnt want to spend the holiday with him because Mom is going on vacation to some resort (I think Aspen is a resort town in the states?) Ok either he has a son as well as a daughter, i am misremembering him as having a daughter, The daughter might be trans, or Nick is short for Nikita/vero-Nic-a, or Nick is more gender-neutral as a name then i thought (wouldnt be the first time, i went years thinking Sam was exclusively a female name because the only "sam" i ever heard of was from Totaly Spies). I am not sure which is the case. (im gonna place money on its a shortened-nickname though) Ok Sophie confirms its a daughter.

Elliot has been cooking, Parker is taking the long-distance part of Long Distance Relationship a bit hard around the holidays.

Knock on the door: its Doyledude. He's asking for Elliot by full name (sus). --- Doyledude's gay and his dads a preacher who didn't aprove of "woke" books like Charlie and the chocolate factory. (Yes Christians are that bad. Source: My dad got a chainletter that refered to the antichrist as an "avatar" of satan once and "The last airbender" and the blue smurfs were both insta-banned from the household forever).

--- "I am totally fine with revenge it allows us a range of outcomes the mark deserves". good line.

"Guess theres a lot of maurice's out there" KNEW IT, the moment they named him "blanche" i suspected we were gonna be getting a Maurice Leblanc reference. (of course they'd go for Arsene Lupin in an episode about the importance of libraries)

Harry's "so do I" is a simple joke but it lands well. 8/10.

I think we found todays villain: Its the guy harassing a homeless man for using the library. (fuck that guy) Ok ominous cut of someone taking pictures of Elliot. --- Sophie is walking around the theatre loading 100 checkov's guns at once (confetti cannon, Parker is booking a helicopter, red sportscar, Harry has a cane)

Sophie does a speech about the team needing to remember that this is a good person.

Elliot has gotten some of his old budies to work stuntmen. Parker is asking the very crucial heart-attack related question. Our safeword is Winnebago (google says its a campervan? Honestly, if it werent for the whole "automobiles are deathmachines I dont trust myself with" angle, i'd like one.) --- Librarian dude takes one look at the red sportscar and just thinks "dafuq kinda spy are you?" before stealing a regular car like a sensible person on the run from crooks would.

So, clearly the guy is either a someone bad upbringing who brought himself around, or an actual retired spy himself, who reads those books primarily out of nostalgia.

Ok its misspent youth, also the way he casually tosses the phone out the window. Love this guy. --- Im gonna be honest, while i apreciate the consistency of parker still being the Christmas Monster, the way her characterisation has mellowed out to using store-brand santamugs after she was first introduce as off-the-wall enough to use priceless jewelry as garlands is weird to me.

Breanna carelessly dismisses an attack on their own firewalls and servers. Harry's moustache is bad but the eyepatch is worse. --- Four stars? Comeon man. (good improv)

Actual Goons are here! "take spencer" knew it! no way that Doyledude would know Spencers full name. Mr Blanche has stolen a sportsbike. --- Turns out yeah, he was a former spy. Its RIZ bitch (did we get a name? I dont remember) she's looking for "the ledger" (presumeably a list of secret identities. We're looking for a book kept by a librarian. Its in the library. Probably that book samurai book he's been reading regularly) Ok so this is definitly becoming a recurring thing with the way she first used Elliot to find which guys to hire and is now talking about making him an instructor. Is she the secret person he's been phone-ing that breanna was asking about this whole episode? (i thought it was the Supercop from Arlo) --- Blanche has a gun pointed at our heroes. PTSD in a bottle, cause thats a thing that exists now. Wilson is still holding old job secrets from them? Thats... weird. --- Wait, Elliots dad is alive? But I thought that the episode ending implied otherwise? (Might be me being bad at understanding the subtext of that scene, might be a retcon) --- Mr Blanche has already beaten all the guards in the time it took a drugged out Elliot to break a chair. (Pretend to be the new guy, classic "heavy object in a sock" prison-improv weapon. 8/10, guy knows what he's doing, but is also a bit rusty and forced into improv mode) --- Turns out, he didnt retire because he wanted to retire but because no one would believe the ledger was destroyed. Luckily floppy disks suck at long-term storage.

Harry is talking with his old boss, trying to be the angel on his shoulder while the boss is trying to be the devil on his. (still really odd that we went through the trouble of establishing our heroes broke in to find Harry's ledger of old sins and that we're now going the "Harry wont tell them his old sins" route.) --- Copperhead and Elliot are talking. Copperhead does not want to go out by cancer. (we're faking his death and assigning him to International arent we?) --- Confetticannons are a go-go! (they're meant to simulate pages being shot by guns)

Blanche got disarmed and shot with his own gun. (definitly a death-fake) --- Huh, RIZ-woman doesnt actually kill the guards who fail her objectives. She just blackmails them into following their NDA's. (profesional)

Yup it was in the big samurai book. (obviously) and he's getting the rental.

OK so Hardison sent the library boy. (explains why he knew Spencers name)

Ok So Elliots dad is alive just not around for the holidays ever.

[enbypackinthic]

Fun from my Reddit pages

Had fun with both my partner and exboyfriend over a previous weekend , this is some irl events , it is also pulled from my Reddit page where I originally posted it. I did modified some of the writing due to me and one of the individuals no longer being in a relationship (he’s still a hella good person and overall good human)

Lemme say this first, I’m non-binary and a dom/top/breeder in the kink scene. My partner is trans masc non-binary, my exboyfriend is also trans as well. This is also an open/ polyamorous relationship. I feel this needs to be established first before I dive into what all transpired the other week. Respect everyone here is all I ask, not much to ask in that regard. Also for fellow gays that might be triggered by certain terms used here, here’s a quick warning ahead of time before you head.

The fun of the other week started on previous night where me and my partner were just being our natural slutty selves , he was on the start of a long much needed vacation from work and it was nice seeing him more throughout the day. He and I started to get horny and touchy and started things in the shower. He was on the last day of his cycle of the month and I wanted to breed his pussy and feel on his body. I had him in the shower and brought our fav little vibrator in with us and started using it on his clit while I played with his chest(lemme mention this now he doesn’t care for terms for his private parts). Groping his breasts and sucking on his perfectly sized nipples while toying with him always sends his mind going blank. Reaching down and feeling his pussy, he was already so wet and ready for my cock and I bent this twinky little whore of mine over and pushed my cock in his tight little pussy while I stared at his untouched asshole. Letting him hold the vibrator while I gripped his small little frame, I proceeded to pound that boy into submission while he tried to stay standing. Listening to him call me daddy and praising my cock would send anyone over the edge of no return. I pulled out of his pussy , while pulling back on his hair to bring his head next to mine and told him to get out and get in the bedroom. He whimpered and hurried as I took time to wash for a minute. Got in our room , locked the door and told him to lay down and hold those fucking legs of his up for me so I can watch that pussy of his take my thick cock. For the next 30 mins I was pounding all my frustration into this pussy that I was denied of for two weeks(he was sick followed by his period). His soft moans mixed with his loud scream and creaky bed made for the perfect symphony to our neighbors in my opinion. He started cumming on my cock while begging me to breed his slutty pathetic body to which I obliged and slammed my cock hard into him flooding his womb while he let out a loud scream. He became very overstimulated, and I pulled out and cleaned him up and gave him lots of cuddles and aftercare.

Now the next day starts off with me and the exboyfriend finally getting to have some private time for us. He’s not on T yet nor is taking any birth control so he brought condoms with him. I wasn’t expecting us to actually fuck yet. I’m the first person with a real dick that they’ve been with. We were cuddling in bed for a little bit , before stripping him naked and touching on his soft tiny frame. He’s under 5ft and has a nice thick round ass and nice average chest. We were kissing intensely while I was feeling his lovely chest and causing him the cutest little moans. I worked my lips all over his body and left hickeys and marks on him to let everyone know who he belongs to. His chest honestly even though I say my partner has the perfect pair, I gotta give the edge to my boyfriend. His breasts just so nice and full c cups that honestly I can feel, suck, and fuck for hours if he let me. At this point I was working my mouth on his pussy while watching him immediately get overwhelmed. Had to stop multiple times for him to catch his breathe, which is fine , I prefer him to have the best experience versus having any problems or concerns. He was begging me to give him my cock, which lemme tell you , is the cutest thing ever and the biggest turn on for me. He saw my cock and was a little nervous by how thick I was. I slid the condom on and well thank god it didn’t break somehow. I pushed my cock to his entrance and eased in till I was fully in him(this had to be the tightest hole I’ve ever been in) and stayed still for a little bit while he got used to my size. I started to fuck him slowly and having him run his hands across my chest and legs while I pumped his pussy. He didn’t last too long which was fine, we both just enjoyed the feeling of being connected with eachother. We stayed naked for a while and cuddled and talked for a couple hours before he had to go.

A day and a half later I had the exboyfriend over for bulk of the day , my partner was out for the day/night to handle irl stuff unrelated to anything. So I had my good boy bring himself over in just pjs , no undies or anything to contain himself , we didn’t wait long at all till we started fucking , the first condom we used broke and didn’t notice till I started seeing the condom fully just at my base and feeling his pussy with my bare cock(fuckkkkk it felt so good) (until we get to the point where he’s fine with bareback, I can wait). I had him at one point just jerking my cock off with his small hands while I fingered him. Fast forwarding because I would be here forever texting this, we fucked three times and cuddled and had dinner before I had to drop him back off at his apartment. The third session ended with me pinning him and telling him I’m gonna breed that tight pussy of his and feeling him tightening his grip around my cock as I came and filled that condom inside him.

[tbd99]

Entry 2 - edited

(Deleted paragraph)

Lately, I’ve just been feeling awful about myself. Like I don’t deserve anything.

I went over to my fathers house today. I had just recently got a piercing and he looked at me like I was disgusting. He always gives me that same look. Like I’m the most awful thing he’s ever looked at. I wonder if he dreams of never having to hear my voice again.

Why does everyone always look at me that way? I don’t understand. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. If someone just told me I’d fix it. I just want my mother and father to love me they same way other parents do.

I just feel unlovable all the time. I’ve stopped working out because I just wonder what’s the point? No one would love someone like me anyway. No matter how I looked.

I’m sure if I didn’t look so ugly I’d get treated better, but even then I’m still not so sure. I just feel like I’m not worthy of anything. That my whole life lacks purpose.

I think about God a lot. I grew up in a very religious household, but I’m not very religious. I’m gay and transgender. Or well, Bisexual. I just have to say I’m gay otherwise people will think I’m just straight. Being gay brought up a lot of problems in my life. Especially with my family.

Although, when I came out as trans last December, no one has looked at me the same again.

I stopped leaving the house, because I hate people looking at me. All their eyes are filled with that same sort of disgust everyone looks at me with.

I’ve tried to be a girl. I really have. It’s just gotten to a point where I hate it too much.

I shower with a shirt and boxers on, bandage my chest, and I’ve been begging my mother to let me cut my hair but she won’t allow it.

Everyone sees me as a girl. And I don’t want to go outside where I’m see as that. I’ve stopped trying to pass as a dude because no matter how hard I try it never works.

You can tell me all the insensitive jokes you want. How I’ll never be a real boy. How I am what’s in my pants. Anything you say I think to myself at least 10 times a day.

Being trans is also a reason I just feel unlovable. Like I don’t deserve anything. Why would I expect anyone to care and love me if I can’t even love myself? God it’s so pathetic really.

I just wish if God made me so fucked up intentionally he could’ve at least given me a purpose. I’m just here. Everyday passes by and I barely move an inch. I forget the days I had, and I get lost in time. There is no reason for me to be here. I feel as though I should just be erased.

But if I do come back in another life, please God. Just give me a purpose.

[thebowerypresents]

Reunited Le Tigre Come Home to Brooklyn Steel to Close Out Tour

Le Tigre – Brooklyn Steel – July 27, 2023

Here’s a thought: It’s a little out there and a little … scary? But this is just an exercise, and this is just a blog post. What if, for now, just for a couple of hours, we chose joy? Yes, it’s 2023. Yes, the world is boiling like a hot pot. And it’s the worst year in modern memory for trans rights, gay rights and reproductive rights. But no one’s asking you to ignore that, least of all, Le Tigre, the high-energy, unrelenting, unabashedly political project of Kathleen Hanna (of Bikini Kill), Johanna Fateman and JD Samson.

But 20 years on from the band’s last live show, can we have a little fun too? Thankfully, the answer was a resounding yes on Thursday night at Brooklyn Steel, the first of the hometown band’s three sold-out nights in Brooklyn — and their last three on tour after many years away. It’s hard to name an album that I wore out more in my early teens than Le Tigre (1999), so witnessing its songs and lyrics live, bursting with the same hooks, howls and drum loops, was the most special of treats. After rousing and delightfully warm MC’ing by Murray Hill, the band took the stage and launched into the scuzzy guitar loop and dance-y backbeat of “The the Empty,” with Hanna, in puffy purple dress and yellow tights, unleashing her signature battle-cry vocals: “Why won’t you answer me? Answer me! Answer me!”

“TKO” (This Island, 2004), with punchy Pop Art backing graphics, followed, then “FYR” (“Fifty years of ridicule”), from Feminist Sweepstakes (2001), whose lyrics flashed behind the trio, the effect landing somewhere between protest poster and APPLAUSE sign: “Can we trade Title IX for an end to hate crime? / RU-486 if we suck your fucking dick.” “What's Yr Take on Cassavetes,” among the most innovative tracks on Le Tigre, brought me back to the band’s lo-fi bedroom-project humor that made me fall in love: You can be this funny and this jaded in music? 

It was nice to know the songs brought them back, too. Fateman took the wheel on “Mediocrity Rules” (From the Desk of Mr. Lady, 2001), a song she said made her feel like she was in her 20s again. Even “Viz” (This Island), which Samson said was about the very real experience of being treated like shit at a party (seemingly not fun to revisit) had the whole room grooving. I struggle, reader, to not detail every moment. “My My Metrocard” in Brooklyn, video art of random garbage-like products, stop-motion scuba divers. “Eau d’Bedroom Dancing” as the set closer. But the real barn burner, of course, was the final song, the encore closer — “Deceptacon,” that singular, perfect bop that somehow opens Le Tigre. “Who took the bomp?” Hanna — and everyone else in the room — screamed. Pure, pure happiness. —Rachel Brody | @RachelCBrody

(Le Tigre play Brooklyn Steel again tonight and tomorrow.)

Photos courtesy of Adela Loconte | www.adelaloconte.com

[moldybits]

My dad has a history of homophobia/transphobia but ever since I came out as gay to him he refuses to talk about queer topics out of respect for me. Baby steps!

He still doesn't really understand why certain things are harmful but progress has been made

Baby steps are good!!

I was a bit joking when I said my dad has “gone woke”, but it really has just been over 10 years of baby steps. He was never a true transphobe/homophobe growing up, but the Catholic Church did make that hard for him to let go of. When I came out in both sexuality and gender, it was a difficult thing for him each time.

But that was a while ago. He knows (and loves) that I’m a queer furry who loves doing queer things and being with queer people and how important it is to me. I think the hardest thing for him to understand is the combo of pronouns and presentation. A trans guy using she pronouns and dressing a bit more feminine just confuses him a bit, probably because I wasn’t like that, but I think he’s moving past it.

On our recent trip, he did ask me what my pronouns are and how I want to be referred to as (son, daughter, kid, etc). I find it interesting that he brought it up, because I always figured they were totally sold on the whole “very transmasc, he/him, son” thing. Which was true for years. But I think they have picked up that I’m a bit more fluid now. Which I kinda like that they noticed and are just making sure they are still respecting me.

They’ve come a long way since then. And that’s nice. Progress is always good. I hope your dad has more progress!!!

[trustcustomer]

Bridget everett man

#BRIDGET EVERETT MAN SERIES#

This year has proved a true breakout time for the 45-year-old, zaftig Kansas native.

#BRIDGET EVERETT MAN SERIES#

She's attained cult status and a significant LGBT following in NYC thanks to performances at Joe's Pub, while she's reached larger audiences via touring, the Comedy Central special Gynecological Wonder, albums and appearances on buddy Amy Schumer's series Inside Amy Schumer. ( Sitting on a face is not outside the six-foot-tall performer's repertoire. Singer-comedian-actress Bridget Everett likes to call her act "alt-cabaret" thanks to its mix of raunchy song, storytelling and audience interaction. That’s the show.This article shared 2481 times since Wed Aug 30, 2017 “I want everybody to feel like they’re at last call at a party and talking to somebody, feeling like they’re going to get laid. “It’s a massive party, I’m giving it 150 per cent,” she said. When it comes to what audiences can expect from one of Everett’s shows, her answer is quite simple. “It’s hard for me to communicate to a friend but in an audience it’s important that there’s a place where people can go to feel like they’re being heard, it’s like seeing yourself reflected onstage.” “It’s important to have somebody to look to as a way to make you laugh or connect to some emotion. “I think it’s everything for people,” she said. She believes humour and entertainment can be important for people that are part of marginalised communities like those that identify as sexual or gender diverse. “It’s not what I set out to do, but those are the people I want to make laugh and smile because when I’m writing a song I think what would make my fans and friends laugh, and my friends are largely LGBTI,” she said.įor Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festival this year Everett brought her Pound It show down under, performing at the festival’s first ever comedy gala. In a way, I’ve grown up with the queer community and they’ve allowed me to be who I want to be.”Įverett said despite her core audience identifying as sexual or gender diverse, her comedy isn’t constructed specifically appease them – though it often happens incidentally. “It’s a language and a common ground where we both feel safe… I need them as much as they need me. “As a community they embrace that and love it, and also just in my own personal life most of my friends are gay, or lesbians, or trans, and they’re the people I feel most comfortable with. “I’ve never been able to put my finger on it, but I think they appreciate someone who’s willing to take risks and go off the rails, live dangerously,” she said. She mostly attributes it to her brazen and confronting style of comedy. “It’s always largely been an LGBTI audience coming to my shows and even though I get more and more straight people, for me my family will always be queer in some sense.”ĭespite the omnipresence of queer fans throughout Everett’s career, she said she’s never been sure why that is. “I can’t remember who said this but they told me the gay community always finds you, they’re always the first to discover the newest thing, and that was the case for me,” she said. While her longstanding career has blossomed and progressed in many ways, Everett said her LGBTI fan base has remained stagnant. She will also feature in two upcoming films this year: as the mother of an unlikely aspiring rapper in Patti Cake$ and in Fun Mom Dinner to engage in wine-soaked hijinks. However, over time her craft has developed and seen her become a favourite of fellow brazen comic Amy Schumer who featured Everett in both her film Trainwreck and television series Inside Amy Schumer. Initially she began telling stories onstage that were neither refined nor finessed and performed cover songs. “I’m not saying ‘look at me I’m a woman’ but I can be very confronting to the audience which in itself is political.”Īs a classically trained opera singer who also regularly frequented karaoke bars in the early stages of her career, Everett believes she very much stumbled into cabaret and comedy as a natural middle ground. Advertisement “I think just by nature of what I’m doing I’m shining a light on things like sexism,” she said.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”

[twopoppies]

I just have this feeling that Harry’s not going to say out loud that he’s bi because he doesn’t actually identify that way, but his team is marketing him as that and so he’s implying it. I think they have been on this road since Medicine, but he consistently changes things to HIM in that song instead of them. And the way that we consistently see the rainbow flag and trans flags and colors around him naturally and repeatedly but not almost ever the bi flag except when just grabbing flags to run with on stage. And from what I saw from Coachella he waved that pride flag over his head DRESSED as a pride flag and was a bit more like almost impassive about the bi one and just walked it out over his shoulder like it was his job then dropped it? I’m just not and never have gotten the bi feeling from him at all, but I can see his team marketing him that way as available to everyone but still the female orgasm song guy. I don’t think the idea is necessarily Harry’s to imply bi, but I do think he’s trying to shape it in a way that if he isn’t bi, gets done what the label wants with the least amount of damage or “stepping stone” aspect to it because I think he gets it’s not great to use and also I think he’s proud of what he is. Almost like he’s now having to hint gay through the bi instead of just through the straight. Ultimately I do just want him happy, and I’m not going to blame him if he comes out as bi and isn’t or comes out as bi and is. But I will acknowledge the industry and label pressure to use bi and that it’s not a great thing to do. But right now the implied bi is stronger than ever and does, unfortunately, not rub me in a comfortable way.

Hi sugar. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I'm always a bit uncomfortable dissecting his sexuality because we obviously don't know anything. Although, the one time he did answer directly was to say he was "pretty sure" he wasn't bisexual.

His team has absolutely been seeding this possibility as far back as 2016 with the androgynous rock star label and all the references to Bowie and Freddie Mercury. Medicine and all the syndicated articles about it being a "bisexual anthem" was a very clear indication that this concept was supported by him and his team. The fact that he brought Medicine back at the end of the US leg of Love on Tour was surely not an accident. This, plus the fact that My Policeman is most likely going to be out this year, plus how hard they've been pushing his image as a man who has a girlfriend, many girlfriends, all the girlfriends... just says to me that if he's going to be seen as bisexual, he's still "bisexual but really loves the ladies".

I have to quibble with one part of your comment and that's what you said about him barely raising the bi flag during his tours and that indicating that he's perhaps less connected to it. That's not how I remember it. I have a BI FLAG tag and you can see he's actually interacted with them a lot. Probably second only to the pride flag. But I honestly don't think there's a message in that; more that it's just what fans nearest to the stage happen to bring. I could be wrong, but that's how I read it. Additionally, this is just a reminder (in general) that he could identify as bisexual and still only change lyrics to "him" and still only be dating a man. Personally, I don't think he's bi, but I think it's easy to forget that someone can be and still only have dated people of the same sex.

I agree with some of the discussion that's going around that whatever he's decided to do, is what he feels is best for him as an individual, and as an artist. We all just want him to be happy. I worry about the "stepping stone" thing because it's often used, and IMO it's such a slap in the face to actual bisexual people. But my hope is that if he is bisexual, he does what makes him happiest. If he's not, but his team will only allow that speculation, my hope is that he doesn't make a comment more specific than just acknowledging he's a part of the community (if he's going to acknowledge it at all).

Honestly, if you'd told me in 2016 that we'd be having this conversation I'd have laughed in your face. But he's come such a long way. I hope it continues to go smoothly.

More discussion here