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Ohhh but he used to think nothing of it…
Torturing my fav RO again from @shepherds-of-haven
#shepherds of haven#halle beren#trouble alder#it’s hard to be in love with your best friend#clued in just enough for it to be awkward when it wasn’t before#overthinking n there’s steam coming out of his ears#posting this at a bullshit time bc all American time is bullshit lmao but I will be free of Texas soon#haven’t been able to sleep so I doodled around with this#first time animating sooo please be kind#if games#fanart#because drawing a background killed my family - okay???#lov u trouble pls let me in#where’s her shoe? dw about it.#who let you in here anyway#trouble’s hair is just a big shrug emoji I don’t know ok he gets fluffy today i don’t want to talk about it
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Chapter 419 Analysis or "How to make allies not pawns" a helpful guide from League of Villains (part 2)
This is now a second part of Tomura character analysis.
With chapter 419 being probably our last time seeing Tomura for a while, since we need to learn what happened with Aizawa now is time to remember that not only bad things exist it Tomura's life.
Warning of spoilers to the whole manga to the point of chapter 419! All of the warnings from My Villain Academy side of manga are applicable
So like... mentions of death, killing other people, manipulation, emotional abuse and many more!
This is Part 2 - See here for Part 1 of this depressing mess
With AFO being so sure that he knows better and actually controlled every single part of Tenko's life creating a Symbol of Fear without any redeeming qualities or even hope for saving after he destroys him. There's one thing that AFO still doesn't understand about Tomura and never did - and that's his allies, or the League of Villains that he created.
Even Kurogiri, being a Nomu who's views do not stray from what AFO thought was important didn't exactly understand what did Tomura think about his allies quick to assume that he thought of them as pawns all the was back in the Training Camp arc. With Tomura making game examples to explain the situation, he still didn't think of LoV as just pawns on a desk, like AFO does.
At the time of USJ arc there weren't many people Tomura called this, which could make you wonder how much it was just AFO's plan rather than Tomura's with him never worrying about those other villains yet getting so worked up over losing Nomu not only because he was strong enough to defend him from All-Might, but treating his defeat as something that must be avenged.
And that was long before Stain even entered the picture, the first of three people who greatly affected Tomura's view of his own motives alongside AFO's manipulation of literally everything else.
Tomura was terrified of fighting All-Might seconds before this and yet as this goes on it's becoming more noticeable - Tomura doesn't care for his own fear or worries as long as he's fighting for someone else's good. Not so different from how Izuku is ready to disregard himself for the sake of others, resulting in many injuries and being so close to dying so many times.
It never was a secret that Tomura is highly dependent on others to keep himself from losing confidence, or even will to fight, getting either too anxious to continue without anyone's reassurance.
And while AFO's "help" was mostly given only with some kind of lesson as we saw in "Tomura Shigaraki: Origin", with AFO literally sitting there, saying how Tenko is weak for not killing but showing some restrain instead suffering himself, never actually helping or comforting him. Only offering what he deemed nessesary for his own plan of making Tenko kill those thugs not caring that he's feeling sick from those hands.
But in USJ it's not AFO who's there with Tomura, it's Kurogiri, who was shown to still have some care that Shirakumo had that even Aizawa and Mic couldn't argue that it's similar to how Shirakumo couldn't just leave a kitten in the rain. No matter the responsibility that it would bring with taking a little one in.
A helpless little kitten that didn't get the help it needs from anyone else. Sounds way too familiar.
This never was a direct order from AFO other than he needs to "tend and protect" for Tomura, which can mean anything from just looking out when Tomura's sick, or protect him from any tread like someone trying to kill him.
Not helping him getting over his anxiety to fight or helping him and guiding him to do better as a leader of the League calming him if it got out of control. Which is somewhat opposite to the way AFO deals with Decay and Tomura's temper - letting him destroy anything even the hands that he gave him, just offering new ones when he succeedes and never really caring for his pawns, he can always get new ones.
And surely not asking if Tomura's well the first thing while talking to Heroes.
Which then leads us back to how Tomura never viewed anyone that he chose as pawns calling them his allies, with the word '仲間' which can even be translated as friends in needed context, but usually used as comrade or ally when Tomura says it. And the same thing is usually translated as "friend" when used by Twice.
In any case Tomura never once doubted his allies since he saw them as reliable, even if his first meeting with Toga and Dabi went so wrong that Kurogiri had to stop them from killing each other.
Up to the point of Training Camp AFO describes as him teaching Tomura to be independent which was at that point too far from the truth than he thought. If Tomura begging for AFO to leave with them is any indicator he actually was even less independent after All-Might almost caught them, making him doubt his own worth as a leader. Even if AFO's defeat finally let him think and wonder about himself and his past.
AFO believed that Tomura just knowing how to recruit people would suddenly make him great at using those new "pawns" which was proven wrong by Overhaul no so long after that. Showing how Tomura believed the same thing AFO did as well, fully trusting his judgement of anything including himself, all the while parroting what AFO says without fully understanding what it means.
Only after losing both Magne and Mr. Compress arm does Tomura slowly start making progress in becoming someone more than AFO tells him to do. Even if as we see in part 1 it used Decay as the ground to make it stable since he believed it was his quirk. And yet.
Even if Tomura didn't simply instruct his allies how to choose who to recruit, he never blamed them for it. On the opposite, when Twice was hard on himself after bringing Overhaul to them Tomura just looked at them for the first time without a hand on his face, or even on himself at all, showing how he trusts them as much as he would trust himself and believes that they can do it.
Taking off hands of his family would mean not relying on the conflicting feelings that they bring into the picture, something AFO would very much dissaprove, since he was now like an equal to everyone in LoV instead of being above them. He
And with this instead of making them blindly trust his decisions and following him from fear or adoration like people had been following AFO or Overhaul, he instead was an equal to them both in failure and victory that wasn't even all that guaranteed yet.
Each one of them had their own somewhat selfish goal that just seemed like they were just using each other without any worry being each other's pawns. Or maybe that's just how AFO would see them.
Yet it doesn't explain why did Toga care for Twice's trauma response of not having his mask on, since he already did his part and all that they both needed to do was done. But LoV was never about following orders or giving them, expecting for the pawns to follow without question. It was about a leader of the group that would stand up for his allies while allowing them full freedom, except when they needed to also accept that something is needed to be done for their own sake.
Like following Overhaul for a while all for cutting off his hands leaving him with nothing. Did that sound like something reasonable to do? No! They literally lost their chance at having sushi instead of just living at some abadoned building all the while occasionally searching for money or food, stealing and killing just to survive all while Tomura was just... waiting.
Nothing was really stable at the start of what we call My Villain Academia and yet no one from the LoV left while their state was... bad at the very least. No matter how AFO was teaching Tomura he was still left mostly waiting for something to happen rather than doing something to change the situation himself.
Sure, Tomura now was a famous leader of League of Villains that suddenly needed to be stopped rather that underestimated like before. But that was in the future, now LoV was laying low on funds and slowly Tomura showing his face became the norm, with him usually never wearing hands around LoV.
And with Tomura becoming more and more comfortable around LoV, the LoV itself was becoming more like a place that had one core value that accepted anything else added without anyone wondering about the past of others, like Compress said. Just some selfish people, who still followed their own needs first.
And yet somehow Toga, who joined just because she loved Stain and disliked how life was too hard found her place in the LoV alongside Twice who just needed to be trusted and trust in return. If Tomura only followed what AFO deemed to be the best way to lead no one would actually feel like they're accepted in the LoV as much as they were.
Goal or no goal Tomura succeeded even without having the whole world at the palm of his hands by just never pressing anyone to actually follow him - if they wanted to they could've just left here and there, but since they chose to follow he did what he thought was the obvious best - let his allies do what they wanted.
Which was okay for someone like Toga or Dabi who were either already comfortable by just being allowed to be themselves or being free to plan their own things for their own goals.
But not exactly that for Spinner. Who was instead literally searching for someone to show him what to do, not so different from Tomura, who still only followed whatever 'his Sensei' deemed worthy for him to look into, like letting Kurogiri go find unknown "power" that AFO left along with contact with Doctor.
And while Spinner was not fine with still being hollow even while following Tomura pretending that it's the same thing as following Stain... all it took for him to look differently at how exactly was Tomura thinking was the last real "barrier" that there was - Tomura basically spilling his whole backstory and motivations mostly for LoV to listen to, since Doctor was just testing Tomura's will all according to AFO's plan.
And after that it didn't took too long for Spinner to now follow Tomura, even if it was still not the time to really see the 'warped horizon that was waiting for them'. And yet in times where Tomura still showed some doubt over his decisions - that one old trait of his showing up like it was always at the back of his head not so different from USJ, only thing changing that Tomura got better and better at not letting his emotions control him so easily.
Since the price of that would literally be lifes of his allies.
And neither that or using their emotions to his own benefit was ever in his plans, contrast to AFO manipulating Tomura to do just that. Letting his emotions consume him completely just for his own goal and for his own sake. But as a person who was so familiar with this Tomura still was adamant at NOT allowing something like this to happen to his friends allies.
Effectively creating a bond between all six of them, including Toya that in the end kept them together until the very final arc, with Spinner keeping what Tomura would've thought and with him waking up and calling Machia to get LoV first and foremost Spinner did understand their's leader wishes, as well as Twice's who literally died for his friends.
With all that happening in the War arc the moment AFO returned with both being in control of Tomura's body and just abadoned anything that Tomura would care for like leaving Mr. Compress and Machia behind just to punish him for not getting OFA or not even caring to show any actual respect for Tomura's wishes. Instead showing how little he actually cared for anything but his own good.
But while AFO made so many pawns that he could change like gloves at any given moment, threating them and manipulating them with his power and quirks, Tomura only had 6 allies who stayed after AFO was caught and who were willing to die just to live the life they wanted.
And AFO couldn't give them that.
Even if Decay isn't Tenko's quirk and even if he has so much guilt for killing without it being a little bit justified by it...
LoV still followed him as a person who allowed them to live as they please and so what they want, not some all-powerfull overlord but an ally and a leader who had his flaws and fallings.
#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#bnha manga spoilers#bnha analysis#character analysis#character study#kurogiri#toga himiko#twice#dabi#spinner#mr compress#and All For One can go to hell I won't tag him again#with the Kurogiri part you may notice how I just want to see Kurogiri actually helping Tomura#it's either him or mr. compress now#and yeah the fact that both Twice and Himiko died remembering LoV was painful#AFO calling Tenko weak all the while he himself didn't make any lasting good empression like that on anyone#while Tenko just was like 'yeah my friends need something they'll get it'#insert that one page where he literally just got them sushi first thing after becoming a new MLA commander#how dares AFO call Tenko pitiful if he literally did his best with what he had#all the while AFO just made his life insufferable for him to be angry and hateful#and yes I didn't call them family or friends for the most part since the canon INSISTS that Tomura is saying allies#which is a really neutral way to say friends imo#I'm still thinking about a Tangled crossover with LoV like Tomura literally got his only taste of freedom with LoV by his side#bnha 419#my villain academia#five years later and it's still the best arc of MHA#an honestly it's more of a ch 418 analysis
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If I can be real for a second - what turned me off from BNHA/MHA wasn't even the series itself (though it def has some things I don't care for in the later half) but the fucking real life League of Villains stans who just CONSTANTLY blasted the hero side and acted like LoV were totally in the right just because they have tragic back stories where they were abused or failed by society (it started getting truly unbearable when Hawks killed Twice, like jesus. I will forever argue his actions were entirely valid, if misguided, given the information he had).
Because... it's literally the gif.
The who damn point was that they had valid points, that hero society was fucked up and failing the people who needed help the most... but LoV were not against MURDERING GENUINELY INNOCENT PEOPLE and thus had to be fucking STOPPED. They didn't just kill heros, they'd kill civilians as well. They were actively continuing the cycle that hurt them, just for the other half of society. Their actions weren't about making everyone equal, it was about making others suffer and putting themselves at the top.
Their reasons being understandable and sad DON'T MAKE THEM THE TRUE GOOD GUYS. Just like the heroes weren't purely the good guys because they fought bad guys (fuck Endeavor, all my homies hate Endeavor). It was gray vs gray, not black vs white. Both sides had something they needed to learn or understand, and change as a result of.
I just got so sick of wading through 'LoV is right!' 'Kill Hawks/All Might/etc.' 'All Mights a bad guy' rhetoric, I couldn't enjoy MHA.
#ditto rambles#mha#dont fucking debate me im not here to debate#all the fucking hawks hate was so baffling#like my god HE HAD A POINT#TWICE'S POWERS WERE TERRIFYING AND WILDLY DANGEROUS WHEN LOOKING AT WHAT WAS COMING#WHAT IF FUCKING AFO TOOK IT? OR MADE A SUCCESFUL COPY OF IT????#JUST LOOK AT WHAT TOGA DID WITH IT#YES TWICE WAS A COOL DUDE AND ITS SAD THAT HE WAS KILLED#BUT HE WAS WILL TO KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE#heros should 100% be expected to take villians in ALIVE if at all possible#but it wouldn't always be possible!!!!#and if your weighing the life of one man to the hundrends possibly thousands he'd be willing to kill for his friends#hawks choice MADE SENSE#and no one likes it when you point out hawks was basically groomed to be they way he was by hero society#just like shigaraki was by AFO#making BOTH of them victims of society#in different ways#suffering has many shapes and forms#anyhow ive been thinking about this a lot#...all that said i do like to pretend more of LOV survived and are living happy lives#hopefully not murdering indiscriminately
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The hearts don't mean he is in love with no one. The problem with English is how vague of the word love is in his meaning. It envolves different kinds of caring in one single word. But I'll try to express here what I mean.
He cares, as a person, about everyone. This is a basic level of love that he haves towards everybody. He doesn't want anyone to actually die, that's what I mean. He doesn't necesarily cares about someone, but he loves them enough to not want them to die.
He starts befriending someone and gets to know it. He starts liking things about them and disliking others. He starts loving this people in another way, we'll call it liking. This is more a get-to-know phase he doesn't always like. The less he knows, the less reasons to get attached get attached he has. I think this are the kind of love the hearts show in the image. He has to make sure to keep a balance between how much he loves and how much he let's himself be loved. He doesn't want to have misunderstandings. He is in constant fear of "what if I made them love me more and they care more?"
And then it comes the deeply care that love is in the non-romantic way. This care a (good) parent has for his babies. The love that makes people suffer emotionally in an absolute different way from what it could be a heartbreak or a misunderstanding between friends. If something happens to the loved one, the pain is unbearable. It's one of the worst things rhat can happen. And Chilchuck knows this, he is father of three daughters, and his wife left him. She left, he knows the pain it is to come home and find it empty when there should be someone. He knows the guilt it comes with failing those loved ones. The shame. He doesn't like being this vulnerable. This love makes him suffer like no other does. So he is very very carefull of how much he allows himself to care about someone so he won't get to love like this.
He draws a line between work and private life because his private life envolves love and deep care, and he doesn't want to love nor care like this for people who's job is to constantly risk their lifes. He doesn't want to feel the anguish, he doesn't want to feel the loneliness it will come after the unenviable separation of the party.
He tries his best to not get attached to people. To not let people get attached to him. But he fails. He fails and falls downstairs with a whole drum set.
He can't help but to care about this people. He can't help but to love this people he's been living with the past few weeks in the risking of their lifes. He tells himself he's doing this for money and that he doesn't care, but he does.
Those hearts don't mean anything other than him caring about them. He cares about Senshi. He cares about Marcille. He cares about Laios. About Itsuzumi. About Namari. He cares in a way that hurts. He loves this people. He doesn't want to even imagine a world in where they are gone, or suffering, or in problems. They're his friends, they're something he, unwillingly, accepts as family.
He cares about Falin and Mickbell because he doesn't want them dead. He doesn't feel any anguish toward if they do or not get hurt after they're out of his sight. Sure, he cares, but he can live without thinking about them the rest of his days. It doesn't happen like that with Laios. He can't just simply let Laios go and follow Fallin just after he recover consciousness from a punch in the gut. Was it Mickbell, he would let him if he really didn't wanted. But Laios didn't wanted to sit and wait, and he had to care. He had to verbalize to himself that he cared. He had to let them know, so they would act accordingly. So they won't get themselves killed like idiots.
He doesn't want others to fall in romantic love with him. He doesn't feel romantic love towards anyone either. He isn't the man for this kind of love. He is, in fact, afraid of it. He doesn't want to fall in love, because he's still in love with his wife. She left him because he was negligent. But since when has this become the definitive stop for love? Chilchuck knows his wife is angry at him, and she has all the reason to be so! His husband, the one she loved and cared for, gets himself in dangerous situations, treats his body poorly and almost never is home. She loves him, and it hurts her to love like this, so she leaves. Like this she won't have to look at him get himself mistreated like he does. She would have the pull in her's stomach that tells her that he could be in great danger, that she could become a widow, but she tries to calm it with his daughter's mail to him. He could never. He can't imagine a world in wich they cease to exist. A world without his wife, even if she distanced herself, without his daughters, would be a world worthless of living. He knows this. Because he cares and he loves in such a deep level that he is scared of loving anyone else like this. To become so vulnerable to emotion. This vulnerable to something bad happening.
The fact that he is so afraid of loosing his wife, even after she left him, says a lot. He still cares about her. He is still in love with her. He wants to go back to what it was before, but he can't and he know its his fault. And he respects his wife's distance because he loves her. Now, he doesn't love her in the movie way, he isnt in love like a teenager would to his first girlfriend, he doesn't want to kiss her, or hug her, or be by her side at all moments of the day. He loves her. He cares about her deeply, deeply enough that he doesn't need to be by her side to care, to love. He also respects her. He can survive without her because he knows she's better with his daughter. For sure he wants to hug, kiss and be by the side of this person he loves, it would be ideal, but he can survive without thinking about it too much. It's just like with his daughters. They're all adults that now live far from him. And he is ok with it now. He sends mail and recieves mail, and even if he misses greatly, he can manage not to think about it. Because he knows she is allright. Because he knows he fucked up. He doesn't know where he fuked up, but for his wife to leave him, at least he knows he did. They never talked about it, because they both seem to have a problem in expressing themselves. She fell into a bad mood and then she disappeared. The amount of pain he must have felt it's... let's say it's quite big.
He keeps his guard up. He doesn't want to love deeply anyone. He doesn't want to feel the emptiness, the hurt, that comes after someone so dear leaves. He knows for a fact he'll be leaving this people. He knows that they could die. If he loves, it will hurt in a way nothing else hurts. He will miss. He doesn't like missing people he cares like this. This is why he doesn't want to love. This is why he doesn't want to be loved. This is why those hearts that are almost full are his main source of concern. This is why he makes the effort to keep this feelings at bay, to love only in the friendly way and with extreme caution.
But he can't controll his own love. And he ends up caring more and more about these people. He slowly makes him a part of the dangerous love zone that family means. He is afraid to confuse someone about his feelings towards them, so he still tries to maintain distance with his abusive remarks, but this only works so far. He loves and is loved. And because of this he will suffer.
I... I extended myself a bit I see...
#i dont even know what im talking about anymore#but i hope i made sense#as an aroace i feel the need of being extra cautious about how people think of my relationship with them#because I dont want them to like me romantically#i want friendship#because its so uncomfortablr#not#love#so this Chil here is basically me trying to figure out if saying certain things could be considered flirting or not by the other#i shouldnt care#it isnt my fault if they do fall in love with me#but i would be happier if they didnt#to know someone is in love wirh you#and that you dont love him back#but youre still friends#so youre friends but the other wants to be more than that#and to avoid that i gotta measure every interaction#maybe im a bit paranoid#but it has happened to me to have friends fall in love with me#and i dont want to hurt their feelongs but i definitely dont lovs rhem bacj#because i care abkut them in a friendly way#and i don't want them to suffer because of me. but I dont want to suffer because of them either#its all way to complicated? yes bit thing is that chil here represents me interacting with my friends#but in my case the hearts would be romantic#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#my shit
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ok... so Lambert x Eve...
Eve and the two Blaiddyds
Lambert and the two Fierenes
The step-siblings
@blaiddydbrokeit and I were talking, and they have now sent me down the wonderful rabbit hole that is Eve and Lambert getting married and looking after their children.
#Dimi desperately needs a good mother figure (y'know rather than his idealised image of Patricia who never really loved him and didn't pay#attention to him no matter what he says to himself (you know only having that one memory of her where she was looking out the window and ig#ring him) and then tried to murder him adn his whole family) anyway#Eve would be good for Dimi#and Lambert and Alfred and Celine would get up to all sorts of shenanigans#but also Lambert might be able to help Celine understand and overcome her fear of other's deaths#Dimitri in particular would be able to understand that fear and sympathise with her#and alfred is just having a great time with a new brother and dad because everything is awesome all the time and his old dad would have lov#d his new dad and he tells alear all about it and she's like ooh!#anyway an adorable meet the step-dad step-brother situation for the couple (you know my alflear loving heart can never resist an opportunit#anyway#other tags were originally messaged to a pal when we discussed the idea but I thought they would work under the picutres too:#crack ship or not Lambert and eve are adorable in my brain#lambert egitte blaiddyd#queen Eve#fire emblem engage#fire emblem three houses#anyway maybe in a heroes universe or something; or dimi revives Lambert using some sort of magic and then Lambert and eve meet up in a Fodl#an and Elyos meet and greet sort of ball and they become friends and then they discuss being widowed and through a long series of meet ups#realise a political marriage between them both would be good for Fodlan and Fahrgus and good for Fierene and Elyos and they're also in love#anyway they both visit each other's spouses graves on the anniversary of death#like they would both really respect their partner's deceased spouses and not be jealous at all when the other gets upset and is like#I really miss them. Because they both get it
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5 ask game: au where Aizawa gets shot with a quirk erasing bullet during the Overhaul arc
Ok so the main obstacle here of course is I don't want Izuku to die, like, five minutes later. Perhaps my special little guy can stop this.
1- Lets say when Chisaki grabbed Nemoto to pull a fusion, Nemoto's gun was caught up in all this too. This doesn't matter until after he's been beaten and thrown to the side, and watches Eri and Izuku struggle in the middle of the crater. Asui brings Aizawa up, and Chisaki knows that if Eraser stops them, they're all taken for good. So he shoots at Eraser- and its a hit.
2- A moment later, a swordfish pierces his shoulder, but the damage is done. Asui shouts. Izuku screams. Eri wails. Amajiki "Do i have to do everything around here myself" Tamaki "the only big three who actually takes out a third of the expendables and the top brass on his own" Suneater picks up the gun to crush it. Then he looks at the sobbing Eri, and thinks about how Mirio wanted her to smile. "I'm sorry," he whispers to no one, and fires- the first one's a miss, he's not as good a mark as Chisaki. But he is one of Snipe's students, and the second one hits.
3- Since the bullets are made from her own quirk, Eri reacts.... differently to them. It doesn't rewind her as much as it gives her a reset. her horn shrinks but doesn't vanish, and the effort catches up to her as she passes out on top of Izuku.
4- Suneater crushes the gun, then starts trying to find the cure bullets in Chisaki's jacket, but frankly his second wind cast by Mirio's distress is running out so he ends up dragged to an ambulance while the police bag evidence. In a true stroke of genius, they do not transport Chisaki with all of his weapons and bullets, so Tomura doesn't grab them when he takes the man's arms.
5- In the hospital, they don't exactly want to just take Chisaki's word for the cure bullets and jab who-knows-what into Aizawa and Mirio, so they very carefully start studying one first. Unfortunately, Ujiko hears about this and nabs the other cure bullets. (much easier than trying to nab Eri.) Tomura and AfO won't be able to use the eraser bullets in any plans (no baby-afo fight) but they will try to ransom the cure at least. Tamaki attempts to give back his hero license and withdraw from the school, but Nedzu stalls him then guilts him into staying because for reasons beyond the teen's comprehension, Eri actually really likes him and with no erasure to stop her quirk if it goes out of control, they need anything they can get to help. Aizawa continues teaching because if being in full body cast didn't stop him, losing his quirk won't either, and Mirio is like 'well hold on a minute. if he's not stopping, why should i?' and continues training at school while quirkless, even if his actual work outside of school isn't happening anymore.
#its awk there between mirio and tamaki there obvi. not bc of mirio so much but tamaki can project issues youve never dreamed of#and i mean. 'the first mayyyyyybe justifiable case of shooting a child' sure is an Issue#also eri is like 'oh thank god lemillion's friend can be trusted to stop my quirk at all costs' and tamaki is like 'jesus please do not fee#more comfortable around me because of that!!!!!!!!'#but its a good thing he stayed. not just because they cant work through All Of Those Issues if he goes but also because i mean#with all the effort needed to keep Eri at ua and not in. say. commission hands as they excert more control over the school#i dont really want to know what tamaki's options would have been if he left too#best case its like the mandatory internship where he cant give back his lisence just in case. worst case its 'hey hawks do u think this#depressed teenager could get you an in with the lov hes probably in their target demographic right'#anyway.#anon#pocket talks to people#ask game
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not me popping back on here with a post after months of semi-inactivity (uni is being a bitch) just to reiterate how much i love writing the pahkitew island cast.
aside from sammy and amy (obviously), literally everyone else can be shipped with one another and it'd make sense to some degree, like it takes skill to create a group of people so inherently shippable (platonically and/or romantically) and ofc the writers didn't know it they just shoved a bunch of random ppl together and dusted their hands off on it but fr tho 😭
(yeah im planning out my leonave 'stranger things inspired' au, and the gears are turning, and i forgot just how much i love writing for this dumbass group)
(i swear im working on the next chapter of a guide to surviving the apocalypse too)
#no but i've way too many ideas lmaoo#i forgot ive a whole longass post in my drafts dedicated to ramblings abt this longfic and i came across it today ahaha#like amy leading a manhunt for leonard bc shes got everyone to think he killed her sister (who she didn't even like much smh)#and topher's one of the ppl involved and when shawn hears he's like “topher? yeah i can handle him dw” (possible tophawn minor pairing??)#and leonard's abt to get the equivalent of being burnt at the stake literally#when guess who shows up in a fucking mercedes of all cars#fucking dave#and he helps leonard escape narrowly by driving fast af and leonard's so confused bc like “i thought you'd be with those guys”#and get this: dave doesnt believe leonard killed sammy bc of his vehement belief that leonard doesn't know magic LMAOOO#and leonard doesnt know whether to be affronted or grudgingly thankful bc if it wasn't for dave's desire for everything to be normal#leonard would have been part of the witch trials 2.0#and idk who's watched st but the plot is somewhat inspired by it#like shawn goes missing first and dave as his best friend is panicking abt it (in this one axel is shawns cousin???)#and then when they find him at last the weird deaths start leading to leonard finding sammy dead and this whole situation#and theres a whole different world underneath them and its up to leonard dave ella and sky to team up and prevent certain destruction#and theres slowburn leonave (with pining leonard and oblivious dave)#and leonard lives with his uncle whos understanding of his passions (unlike his dad who basically gave him away for the same reason)#and leonard's life is total opppsite from dave's#and they both know it#and omgggg this au has been a brainrot for so goddamn long#but idk why i just got a slew of ideas for it today#and like dave stays over at leonards at one point and leonard gives him his bed (like a gentleman)#and the next morning shawn barges in like “wheres my best friend” bc ever since he was taken he's been v paranoid abt losing the ppl he lov#and he hugs dave and daves like “how dirty are you rn” and shawns like “nothing yet i waited so that i can hug you when i see your dumb ass#and everyones like abt dave to leonard “idk if he's the right one for you”#but then later on dave saves his life by going a little bit unhinged classic dave-style#and ends up scaring a nurse and receptionist into retiring early#total drama#td leonard#td dave
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everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane
#oc#monochrome#sketch#velan#vakori#rocaim#rocaim and vakori are rex and taz and adder and silas's parents#adder and silas get their looks from vakori; rex and taz to a slightly lesser degree get it from rocaim#rex specifically is like a sharper clone of him. fucks velan up all the time because their personalities are completely totally different#rocaim was very like. gentle and understanding. good with kids and well-liked by basically everyone. a very effective mediator#rex is obviously none of those things lmao. every time he says something particularly insensitive it surprises her for like six years runni#anyway rocaim is in love wtih vakori. velan is in love with vakori. vakori is aro as they come but insanely pragmatic#like. ok le's based loosely off my ex. like. so le's SCARY pragmatic. so fucking cool about it everyone with a brain is specifically like#'woag oh my god le's so pragmatic im in love with her'. anyway eventually le's like 'hi rocaim. here are the objective reasons that i think#that if we got married it would mean i had better standing and more power in the organization we're both committed to. would you be#opposed to possibly getting married with me on the grounds that it would get me respect and power' and rocaim. who is already head over#heels for ler specifically because le makes these kinds of decisions and sees with this kind of logic is like. Absolutely. 100%#then for the next four years of their formal engagement people keep taking rocaim aside and being like hey... i have bad news...#...that leya you're engaged to... le's not romantically interested in you the same way you're romantically interested in ler... le only#wants you because you're an Ath and le wants a voice in the interclan meetsings... and then when Rocaim is like yeah i know#thats why i want to marry ler isnt that like the sexiest fucking reasoning you've EVER heard. no one gets it but velan#who is also in love with ler for the same reasons but has no such claims to power#and who also is not equipped for a polycule nor willing to try to go behind rocaim's back because unfortunately for her. she is also in lov#with rocaim. me when im in love with my friend and my friend's wife and also i'm pretty sure they both reciprocate but they're both#married and i dont really know what to do about it and also all three of us are very Traditional and that is not the Tradition:#and then they both die and she never quite deals with that.#but she DOES get to raise their (surviving) kids :) most of whom are fucking nightmares#life is so difficult for velan. like actually#closerverse#cv
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there’s probably nothing i can say abt that blond kid that hasn’t already been said and tbh i don’t wanna say anything about him he already takes up more brain space than i anticipated so instead i’m just sitting here teeth gritted like yeah haha can’t stand the sight of him. he’s a little too real w it. whatever tho we’re toughing it out!!!!!
#i’ll edit bkg to whatever cunty little song i want but i draw the line at introspection#speaking of. spotify needs to stop putting homesick in my shuffle i’m trying to have a good day#yeah ik it’s been in my repeats for several months but that’s bc it was my be weird abt the passage of time song#and now it’s been character’d#my freezing breath….. frozen memories….. oh will you please take me home…… fuck off and die maybe#anyway yknow who i will talk abt? dabi#there is a light that never goes out is lov coded in my heart. him specifically tho listen#ok well him and shigaraki 😭 THEY’RE SO FUCKING YOUNG AND THEY NEVER LEFT THEIR CHILDHOODS BEHIND LIKE#all the crap with them as kids. their inner voices being them as kids their sense of self reverting back to when they were kids#shigaraki who remembers his friends and dabi who misses his family and toga who never stopped loving…… the light never goes out…….#GIVE THEM BACK I BEG OF YOUUU#tally txt
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i know i have been inactive but i fear yous do Not talk about dennis literally killing himself near enough
#dennis takes a mental health day THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU BABYYYYY#literally written For Me . said this when the episode titles came out. they saw i got kicked out of uni for being too mentally ill and said#it’s okay dennis struggles with his mental health too :) i feel insane but They Know Me . confirming no bitch maureen is Dead . the doors..#all the macdenbreakup refernces ……. she’s so gorgeous ….. AND THENNNNN#THE FIC OF ALL TIME . the only only only one EVERRRR . my dearly beloved doc there’s a hole where something was by bidennisreynolds a#dennis reynolds character study to the tune of folie a deux by fall out boy. DELETED SCRAPED FROM THE INTERNET. the fic that apparently O#ONLY I READ. that when u look for it you just find ME looking for it too ……. we can do dennis reynolds introspectives too :)#we know u lov tends bar and see her for who she is not Just cause i know you man (but ofc understanding you CANT do dennis reynolds#character study without having heavy macdennis )#tends bar splitting into dens friends and family …… having mac see through all his walls ….#THE NORTH DAKOTA OF IT ALLLLLLLLLLL#we can’t have a real genuine actual conversation dennis feelings you SAWWWW what happened last time the man has only JUST emotionally#returned from north dakota !!!! he’s Working on being stationary !!!!! THIS IS HIM WORKING ON IT !#the way we saw dens relationship towards the gang his opinions on how they would help/understand him …….#HIS RELATUONSHIP WITH HIMSELF !!!!! literally created this other version of him to blame all the horrible things he hates about himself on#AND THEN KILLED THE BITCH !!!!#it’s so good so so so so so gooooood
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I try to listen w empathy when friends struggle and I do think I succeed UNLESS they're coming to me w the same problem they've had for ages and they're not doing anything. Then I start frothing at the mouth and trying to get them to start moooving their ass to do something.
#lov my friends but o sometimes the learned helplessness is real#and im like oh my GOD DO SOMETHING!!! and i know i cant rly do that so i dont#but I'll try to find a moment to be like sooooo have you talked about it w someone who can help u? etc#im just weird because ive had to make ALL my own decisions from age 15 on like complete. freedom. within some reason obv.
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Thank you for PoF it literally rewired my brain a normal amount eons ago when I first read it. Every time I make a new character for anything and I start to worry maybe they're just a little too unhinged, I remember PoF, and know that I'm valid and so are my insane little horny characters 😌❤️
I am so excited that you say this because it's important to my heart! Insane little characters with strong wild opinions or reckless horniness or huge blind spots or weird personality quirks or frequent fuckups they often learn very little from are the heart of stories that keep my interest and provoke reaction from me as a reader!!!!
Let every character be a character!! I have never been more bored as a fanfiction reader than the other day, when I read a fic where only the villains were allowed to be rude or irrational or petty or angry without immediately apologizing in uniformly articulate and modern "I've learned what people are supposed to say in apologies" speak. Because they're a Main Character! They're a Good Guy! But sometimes good guys and main characters are going to fuck up!! Sometimes they're going to be bizarre! Sometimes they're going to be at odds with other characters who are Good Guy Main Characters, over things that may or may not be a big deal for their characters!
Listen!! Sometimes I write a character talking shit and I'm wincing the whole time, not just because they're being an asshole, but because I know they're going to double down on it later! Because they just,,, don't think or feel the same things as the person they're being an asshole to! Do I the author agree with one more? Probably! Do I necessarily have to resolve "and this one was right, so the other one apologized"? No! Characters conflict with the other characters! It's uncomfortable to write sometimes! But my level of comfort or discomfort with the uncomfortable is part of writing stories where THINGS HAPPEN and goddammit I am out here for things happening otherwise what is even the point. >8U
#ask time!#I'M SORRY I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!#you can have cool AU concepts all you'd like but if the characters therein are always in the right and do the right thing#versus the bad-guy no-good-traits never-a-person villains who have zero character or personality other than ''Mean Asshole Bad Guy''#then it still feels like eating an enormous bottomless bowl of over-boiled plain oatmeal#LISTEN strip it down and I'm writing a fic about two trolls who are in a very healthy loving relationship. they communicate. they're in lov#but also: kurloz is smugly complacent in his blood-right to rule! gamzee is insecure and codependent and has a nasty buried temper!#He wants people to like him because he makes more effort than a lot of highbloods to be Nice and has friends across the hemospectrum#but he gets pissed off when lowbloods point out that being near him or the community he loves is very dangerous to them!#(why would you say that? HE'S been nice! he has lowblood friends! he's not even threatening you about being rude to him right now!)#and that's not a great way to be but it IS a way to be and I think it's a more honest and interesting one to turn around in my hands/brain#WRITE WEIRD LITTLE PEOPLE I'M CLIMBING DOWN OFF MY SOAPBOX NOW THANK YOU
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How do I gush about Chase from the sonic realtime fandubs without sounding like a lunatic
#Ive been rewatching them obsessively the past couple days and I realised JUST how consistantly funny he is#his comedic timing and oneliners are so good but his on the fly writing characters is soooo good#Storm in the riders dub? hilarious. Mephiles in the 06 dub? highlight of the dub. Black doom/the devil in the Shadow dub? highlight#HES SO FUNNY#IK WE ALL LOV ALFRED AND PENNY BUT. CHASE <3#His improv with ryan's shadow is consistently my favourite#from the 06 dub the whole thing about them being in a genuinely believable relationship#and Black Doom/the devil being like parasocially obsessed with shadow??#WHY IS IT GENUINELY GOOD UGH#also from the riders dub lines like “HU. I JUST REMEMBERED A TRAUMATISING EXPERIENCE IN MY PAST let me stim a bit and Ill feel better.”#and “Youre not gonna acknowledge me?? i greeted you.”#the whole “Its a gamer pad 😌” thing from the sonic06 dub#the iconic “Bahbahbah shut up shut up shut up I dont care- I do not care! This means NOTHING to me. You and your little friends-#are fucking ANNOYING. this is why I stay in hell-“ THING??? LIKE THE WHOLE ”I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU“ IS SO GENUINE???#and obviously “Bing bong hey whats up youre doin a bad job” and “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy whats upppppppp its meeee”#and earlier “Hi shadowwww 🥰 I love youuuuu”#Chase is so fucking funny idc#Anyway. go watch the Sonic realtime fandubs if you havent you dont have to know anything about Sonic and its hilarious#snapcube#penny parker#sonic real time fandub#snapcube rtfd
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Will I be stronger or will I be weak ...when you’re not with me?
Should I ask myself in the water? What a warrior would do? Who am I without my armor?
All I know is that it’s harder to be
Loyal, Brave, and True
#( can't scratch the surface || ooc )#( we are together together in this || promo )#( all those numberless little fortunes that led me to you || a good run of bad luck )#i lov my friends ;w;#rwby rp
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stain: is compress single lol
twice: uhhh wrong question dude
chisaki behind him: 🖐🧤🤏🙂
#i LOVE grouping stain with the lov#chisaki is already a honorary member that absolutely nobody is ok with but they love compress too much#it went like#compress: i have a boyfriend and yall are not gonna like it#chisaki: yo#the entire lov: BOOOOOOOO#chisaki: yeah i don’t like this any more than you do#compress: guys please T‿T#anyways stain is everyone’s best friend and he rambles to anyone about how all might is definitely bisexual#i also have dabistain thoughts buuuuut . i’ll save that for another day#league of villains#mr compress x overhaul#overhaul x mr compress#chisaki x sako#chisaki x atsuhiro#overpress#deercrow#my post
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thank phone god for sideblogs
#my vent blog is the only thing keeping this place from going up in flames you guys have no idea#anyway uh friends just a heads up i may not talk much if at all today . i lov u guys though /gen /p#dialogue
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