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jae-canikeepyou · 4 years ago

Text

| closer | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: au + idol!jae & choreographer/dancer!yn

a/n: this request is long overdue but here it is! :) i’m sorry for the long wait ;-; it’s challenging to write since i’m not a dancer so my explanation’s a lil’ suckish. also! i had to edit a song remix for this oneshot, so the dance and imagination’s clearly up to you *wink wink* enjoy reading! ~j

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though you lost count of the frequent, unexplainable somersaults you experienced in your stomach, you weren’t sure whether this always happen whenever you were told to join other dancers to monitor a routine for a group. perhaps it was just you, that today felt entirely different compared to when you first started.

as far as your career went, this was the only time you felt so stressed. and by ‘stressed’, it didn’t mean that the boys’ couldn’t get the steps right— they were fast learners and the choreography you helped co-create wouldn’t be a problem to them.

nct 127’s rehearsals were at a spacious backstage for straight two days now. in those short days, there was a certain air that lingered and you couldn’t fathom it properly. with you around, the boys would suddenly crowd in a circle, anywhere in the area, and began to utter out whispers you hoped your ears were able to hear. maybe if you were reincarnated, you’d choose an animal with great hearing to be able to hear what they were saying.

and honestly it got you wanting to pull your hair out because.. what if?

what if they disliked how you were a person of few words during practice? or that they preferred if you gave more feedbacks toward their dance like other choreographers who came before you? there weren’t any hints leading to the source of action and really, if this was an actual investigation you’d be removed from the team for not having quick-wits.

taeyong immediately became your close friend right when you were introduced to them by your seniors. he had this you-can-tell-me-anything aura all over him and was the only person you always conversed with among the boys. given that you were part of the choreo team since kick-it era, the boys welcomed you; like so much. but in those greetings, a gut feeling kept bothering you that you would be pulled into something.. perhaps something you might not be able to handle? you wouldn’t know. it was a gut feeling anyway, fifty percent of your intuition were always proven wrong.

you stared at the widespread mirror, arms up to record them while examining their moves and rhythms to the beat. they were tired, you could tell with the way they swayed and continuously wipe off the sweat rolling down their temples. so you decided to give them a break after three hours of practice.

replaying the video over and over to check if they got the timing right, taeyong went to sit by your side gulping and squeezing the water bottle. “relax y/n. you’ll get more wrinkles if you keep doing that.” he nudged you gently to catch your full atttention from the phone.

“do what, exactly?” you looked at him, eyebrows furrowed tiredly above your death-gazing eyes.

he poked you with the butt of the cold bottle he held, where beads from it soaked your forehead. “this.” he lectured you again, almost annoying to the ears. “it’s not at all attractive.”

“we both agreed you have better brows than me but ouch that’s rude. i think i’m quite pretty and you know it.” you return a playful poke that had him nearly trampling backwards, a slight sting felt by your ankle once you regained balance.

per usual, you disregarded his innocent comment and continued to monitor the practice via phone. he didn’t mean it and you knew that. taeyong kept bugging you to cool off from work and hang out with them since you were all good friends to begin with. of course that development happened in a span of few months to be able for you all to reach that certain relationship.

however, was it possible to attain the level of intimacy when recently, all you felt from the other guys was the weird gap? you couldn’t even describe the awkward distance. taeyong shook both of his sleeves into sweaterpaws to rub the droplets on your forehead.

“quite pretty? you’re beautiful! you’re like a cool princess every guy wants and i’d honestly date you if what we are isn’t platonic.” he danced in a wave effect with his arm. you gently hit his chest for being very vocal even if it just was the two of you.

“aww, you always know how to make me feel better! thanks.” you sweetly compliment him for a second before your smile turned into a frown.

at the corners of your peripheral, johnny, jungwoo, mark, donghyuck and yuta all averted your scrutiny. the action was obvious and quick, but what made it more suspicious was that it happened respectively like falling dominos. although they did typical and cliché gestures of escapism from your response, still they pretended to ignore you either with their hands shoved in pockets or whistles of their own song.

a surrendering huff caught taeyong’s attention. you never sighed nor show any emotions of distress before and this was a little concerning to him. “what’s wrong y/n?” he turned around to see the others minding their own business despite taeyong already realising the edginess they showed.

“can you help me figure something out with them?” you begged as you tilted your gently slightly to the side. “it’s been weeks and i have no idea why they’re acting this way. am i that unapproachable compared to my seniors?”

taeyong suddenly pursed his lips to a small circle as if he was hiding some top secret information that was ‘exclusive for members only’. “oh- y’know.” he nodded quite repetitively but with hesitating breaks in between. he knew what you were going to ask him since it hasn’t been the first time. he usually could dodge your curiosity and wondered why he couldn’t now. “they’re p-probably just chilling.. like always.. yep.” he popped the ‘p’ and stood. “i’m sure it’s because they’re tired from rehearsals!”

things couldn’t just get any weirder. you squinted your eyes as you scooted in closer to him. “you’re stuttering. you never do that.” you pointed out, observing his wavering eyes. “do you know something-”

he stammered and gently pushed you away a little like it would stop you from asking further. “i-i don’t know what you’re talking a-about.”

“hm you sure about that?” you hummed and he mouthed a ‘yes’. “you don’t know what’s coming after you if i figure it out buddy.”

“i’m sure, y/n. stop being a worrywart.” taeyong pinched your cheeks. “i’ll let know you right away if i hear anything out of the ordinary.”

“uh-huh. jaehyun’s the one i think who’s ’out of the ordinary’. we never talked. just hi’s and bye’s and he doesn’t smile at me.” you commented as you spotted him at the entrance door. “bummer, i really find him good-looking..” your phone buzzed a message from your leader. technically he wasn’t, but a person in-charge of your schedules to teach other idol groups.

somehow you felt a wave of relief that you would be out of the venue for the day. it would be assuring to not be around 127 for a while when they behaved like they did. who knew thinking too much would bring exhaustion? this was more tiring than dancing. a lot more. you swung your phone to taeyong, telling him that you were going to leave. “i gotta go, see you.”

“oh, alright. take care.” taeyong waved subtly, confused as to why you suddenly spoke of jaehyun out of the blue.

you let out a long sigh and exited the venue with thoughts of wonder; they were good people and most definitely you were the approachable type, so why were they keeping distance besides taeyong? johnny, yuta and donghyuck were super friendly, and it’s unlike them to suddenly keep quiet. mark and jungwoo were fun to tease; seeing the expressions they usually don’t put on around you was really fishy. taeil and doyoung have similar affection for you because you were like a little sister and.. jaehyun?

well.. jaehyun’s jaehyun, and among them, he was the far-fetched one. that was what you felt from him,

from the beginning.

because every single time you crossed paths, he would look away right when you locked eyes with him. there was no smile, no expression.

nothing at all.

maybe it pinched your heart a little. and maybe there would be a right time for this. just maybe not today. hopefully that wouldn’t extend for another month. hopefully you would get to talk to him like you did with the rest of them. it was a challenging to be patient when you’ve kind of taken a liking on jaehyun despite the inexplainable treatment. he was.. cute.

once you were out of the group’s sight, jaehyun came in with a duffle bag and a beanie— that basically made his hair in a frenzy- along with taeil & doyoung. he had his arms frantically shaking as if he was trying to reason out. “i can’t hold a normal conversation without tensing up.” he dropped his belongings and joined the crowd, not noticing the growing smirks slowly coming into view from his friends.

“and you think choosing to freeze and stare would make her talk to you?” taeil asked straight up. “that’s called cowardice bro.”

jaehyun combed his hair back and wore his beanie again when the focus was shifted to him. “no it’s not. it’s called being shy.. i guess.” he crossed his arm, unsure of his answer as well.

mark took a sip of watermelon juice, later eyeing a bowl sitting peacefully on one side of the table for seconds. “hyung, do you expect to get closer to y/n if you act like that though?” he gave johnny a side-eye as he hid his smile behind the cup, to whom the latter responded the same.

“all of us are trying to keep quiet of your ecstasy towards her like you asked us to.” jungwoo implored because what was done has to be said eventually. “and now she thinks we’re hiding something from her, i can feel her suspicions for the past weeks.”

“did you make it obvious?” jaehyun hissed a little. “i warned you to act natural-”

johnny wrapped the young man in his arms, earning laughs from the others. “the one who’s not acting natural is you. i thought you’re a straight-forward kind of guy. this should be a piece of cake for you.”

“everyone, please come to the center.” their manager called them to gather up, informing details regarding the next schedule for the week.

sm town concert was just a week away and they’ve been practicing nonstop for it. the exhaustion on their faces fled when the manager said something that would make the fans see them in a different light. some staff giggled at their reactions, some told them to go with it, the rest just wanted to see how it would turn out to be. the boys weren’t expecting it, not at a sudden time like this when they’ve gotten the rundown memorised already.

normally they complied and no arguments were brought forwards. now they managed to scream all vocabularies to reason out that another dance routine would make them more exhausted than before. “we’re not pulling a prank nor a hidden camera if that’s what you’re thinking. anyway, the added part is around a minute interlude.. it’s before the actual track. only one of you will dance it.”

yeses and cheers of relief made majority of the staff exchange looks because they weren’t finish with the information they received. “this interlude is by volunteer, so whoever wants to do it just raise your hand or come up front.” the manager instructed as he wrote down the minutes, later both of his brows arched high forasmuch to his surprise, the decision was quickly decided; it would usually take the boys a while. “oh! thanks for being cooperative, jaehyun! the rehearsal starts tomorrow...”

jaehyun’s head never shot up as fast as it did just now. he didn’t pay attention to the short meeting and since all of the voices were indistinct to him, he was astonished with hearing his name being said. he wondered why they concluded with him doing the interlude. in his head a second ago, he was coming up with plans to finally— and normally— conversate with you. and upon turning around, his friends failed to keep their snickers in. they all simultaneously took a step back, leaving the dimpled boy remain standing in his position.

“...and take ten, then we’ll proceed to the last two songs for today.” the manager left the boys for a break.

wheezing breaths and heavy falls on the floor were soon followed by exploding laughters. they were like fireworks, jolting the nerves out of jaehyun and he rolled his eyes at his friends’ intentions to tease him. “that’s not fair, you guys plotted against me.” he pinched the bridge of his nose when a flush of betrayal finally covered his entire conscience.

they laughed since it was a reaction they expected, but more so when he missed out the most crucial information. “oh my g- he doesn’t know! hahaha!” haechan and jungwoo clung onto each other for support. it was too much to handle.

yuta scooted close to johnny, who had his phone up the whole time. “that was on record, yeah?” he asked and the latter grinned devilishly.

“rgha!” jaehyun growled, soon accepting the role that was predestined to him. “i swear john if you-”

“he didn’t really hear it!” mark cut him off and joined the younger ones, hitting each other and as they couldn’t believe that jaehyun, could be this dense. “wow this is insane!”

jaehyun’s ears turned faint pink. he didn’t like the excessive attention he was getting from his friends, and he has no idea what the sudden outbursts were all about. “hear what, exactly?” he had a petulant expression and shifted his weight on one leg as he waited for the answer.

taeyong choked a giggle at his question. it was similar with yours when you innocently asked earlier. “jaehyun, he said the other half of the remix duet is y/n. you’ll dance with her tomorrow, and until the concert.”

his heart pumped so fast that he didn’t know how to react; whether it was due to obvious fact that he would see you again for the third time this week, or it was your name and his.. in the same sentence.

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if there was something you didn’t like to experience again in your life, that would be spraying your nose in public. good grief, and it had to happen nearby the boys. you shut your eyes closed at the sprinkly yet piercing shock rising up from the nostrils to your head. after few seconds of calming down, youngjoon pat your head as if that would bring you comfort. not really.

“i thought hana’s doing the nct dance duet?” you rubbed the small tears from the corners of your eyes, the striking pain still lingered around your senses a little.

he shrugged that his shoulders the action made you think he has something to do with the sudden change of plans. but assuming too much would ruin your mood and affect the way you dance later, so you let it slide for today.

“i’m your senior. you’ll do what i decided on,” he gave you his phone; the title of the track was one that you were told to choreograph. “it’s about time your monitoring days are over. anyway, you’ll dance with..” youngjoon trailed off himself.

you scanned the spacious venue to figure who he was referring to. none came into your mind until jaehyun walked past by you, and youngjoon pulled him close. “ah! with him!”

oh great, i’m dancing with mr. far-fetched.

staring off into space, taeyong appeared briefly in your peripheral, mouthing that jaehyun ‘volunteered’ for the interlude— which didn’t really add up why he would decide to do this performance when he hasn’t talked to you at all.

it was funny how friendly and warm jaehyun was to your fellow choreographers. he would smile freely and offer spare bottles or snacks. however, he looked stiff now and you craved for answers for strange his behaviour. still, you would be lying to yourself if you said he somehow made you.. squirmy, in a good way.

“let’s work well.” he heard you speak as you began to walk to the centre of the venue, jaehyun soon following you from behind.

he noticed the boys sitting on bleachers for a break, secretly snapping pictures to tease him later on. they mouthed and told him to talk— he was leaving you hanging and making a lady wait for a response was not a gentleman thing to do. he was stunned with your natural beauty and to think you were before him, just made him realise that this was the chance,

to get closer.

because remembering what taeyong told him yesterday, his friends told him to step up his game after it was revealed you found him good-looking. that alone should be enough for jaehyun to have the courage to hold a conversation with you. soon jaehyun cleared his throat, pulled his t-shirt collar and bit his inner gums. “yeah, likewise.” jaehyun cleared his throat. “this should be easy. where should we begin?”

“this is the track we’re dancing to.” you fished out your phone to let him listen to the new version, noticing how youngjoon nod at you.

the said man approached, whispering words that had you wanting to facepalm. a gasp escaped your lips and jaehyun raised a brow in curiosity. “i’m gonna kill her-” your face bubbled up in subtle anger.

jaehyun couldn’t hear much, the volume of the interlude was loud enough to make your voices inaudible. he wasn’t good at lip reading too, but he felt different when his eyes met with yours. a smile you wore earlier flattened, your positivity was still there, yet little did he know the changes made on the spot. youngjoon walked back to the mixer and made jaehyun’s hair a mess.

oh how the gods and goddesses of love must’ve liked shooting arrows continuously at his barely-comprehending mind. he almost ran out of breath hearing those words come out of your mouth and he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy for him.

because to him you were a beautiful distraction.

he recalled how you first met in the practice room during kick-it era; comfy clothes, a chill person with light make-up colours and pretty much his friends instantly introduced themselves. he wished that he was close to you as taeyong was. hopefully by the time the whole concert video was out, fans wouldn’t make a meme out of him given the fact that they did when mc-ing for broadcasts, he unknowingly created a gap between himself and other girl groups.

half an hour had passed and perhaps at this minute, you decided to take back what you said; that they were fast learners. proven you wrong, again. some of them were but jaehyun kept messing up and you were close to losing your patience. he couldn’t get things right. whenever you asked him if he was alright, he claimed to have gotten the hang of the steps taught earlier.

what a lie that was. so far he has stepped your shoes, bumped you though they were minor, and missed some moves. what made you teeth grit was that he looked like he wasn’t aware he did those at all.

ugh look at him. he can do better than this. if he doesn’t catch up, i’m requesting for another member to dance with me.

although he quickly memorised his solo part before dancing with you, the one second break in between have already made him forget the next step. he wasn’t in the right mind, he knew that much and was continuously questioned himself why he lost concentration. dancing with naeun was an exemption. she was a fellow mc, and even then he was shy to hold her hand. but this? this was different. this was more than just holding hands. this included skinship he has never done before, let alone executing intimate movements.

“pretend you’re pulling a lever as she flicks her hips side and back the second time. your hands should be by her hips.” youngjoon instructed, observing jaehyun’s shaky movements at the mirror reflection with reference from the video you sent him before. “good. jae, body wave to the left. y/n to the right and both swing your shoulders outwards..”

but if he wasn’t in the right mind, you were slowly getting there too. the more you were faced with jaehyun, the more you head became fuzzy. you could feel yourself heating up and this wasn’t due to the dance at all. “y/n, caress his jaw and grab him close.”

jaehyun gulped, trying not mind his friends and focus on the routine. “oi, step in closer.” your senior said, nudging the boy at the back. “i said closer like you’re hugging her- ah.” youngjoon realised he made a mistake. the boy froze again and his figure hovered you, the lights above blocked by his shocked expression.

you were falling back.

at this rate, both of you might cause the other an embarrassment of a lifetime. you braced for impact and it was written on your face. jaehyun saw how you shut your eyes. he was afraid of injuring you and somehow did the unthinkable; not even his friends expected that from him and were worried the big guy might crush you. he flipped you around the moment you both were inches above the ground, landing on him instead. “mfgh. ow.” you heard him groan, followed by few gasps and shocked voices.

hesitantly, you opened an eye and felt his palms around your torso. he too had a sour face from the fall. “that was close.” jaehyun squinted you take a peek of you and let out a sigh, which already brought guilt showering over you. “glad you’re not injured-”

“are you two alright?” hana with concern, asked as others repeated the same question.

you got up to sit on your calves in apology but soon spotted hana and youngjoon grinning like their plan worked. so they did have something to do with this. “are you an idiot??” you sighed with a drumming heart, taking jaehyun aback. “you’re performing in two days and it’s best if i’m injured than you are.”

“hey, you’re dancing too..” jaehyun chuckled though was surprised with your sudden fits and tone of your voice, standing up to lend a hand. “..so it’s best if you’re not injured.”

he waited for you to respond to his offer and as you took it, you felt a painful throb at the left ankle. tsk, must’ve twisted a bit it when we fell. dammit jaehyun. you cleared your throat loudly. it came out more of a growl in an annoyed tone. “look, i don’t think you get it. you have two days to practice and there‘s only one you. there are many dancers who can replace me-”

“no, i don’t think you get it. you’re the only one who knows the choreography. you’re basically irreplaceable.”

perhaps if this was told to you in a different sight, you would be squirmy and walking on flowers now. but this was nothing of it. you had to remain professional and set your personal feelings aside.

“not unless if another dancer perfects the dance in two days..” you trailed off.

“okay okay, stop the talking and continue where you both left off. a fall like that shouldn’t be a reason why you’re quarrelling.” youngjoon clapped his hands, moving you in front of jaehyun to start from the top.

when you said that, jaehyun was unsure why you were suddenly irritated. he held his position for the duet before speaking words that had you all fluttery again. “well, i’m dancing with you and staff said it’s final.”

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the following day, your ankle swelled overnight and informed that you would teach jaehyun and yeri, whom you’ve chosen to be his dance partner— the only idol available prior to nct 127’s performance. you crossed arms, observing how she got the steps quicker than jaehyun. “i want you to pop your hips a little more and match the timing with jaehyun. look at him intently before he holds your hand and you letting go.”

a pout then was seen on her face, hesitant and shy to do what you instructed. “i know it’s weird but i’d like you to think what you’re doing is art..” you tried to sound encouraging and later saw jaehyun taking a break at the far end of the stage. “just expressed in forms of movements.”

yeri stifled a laugh, feeling a lot better now she saw how you looked at her fellow label-mate. “yeah that’s not how jaehyun sees it-” she hushed immediately for speaking her thoughts. “y/n, how has he not learned his part yet? didn’t you teach him yesterday?”

“trust me i did! jaehyun’s a great artist but he just doesn’t seemed focused like i imagined him to be.” you took a bite from your sandwich, and yeri giggled that you unconsciously ignored the first half of her sentence. “i mean his solo was a 15-second one. i don’t see why he would forget the rest of the 35-seconds.”

she pursed her lips and took sight of taeyong winking at her, hinting your density with these situations. “well i think he actually got the steps now.” she arched her brows, pointing at the direction where jaehyun was at. “i heard he works hard alone- not that i’m offending you! you’re a great teacher and dancer!”

you smiled as you crumpled the plastic wrap and tossed it in the bin. “none taken, i kinda understand why he would be nervous around me.”

her ears perked up and pulled you to the side. “ooh ooh you do? what is it? i’m in for the tea!”

“i pull a resting face while i monitor them. probably why he found it hard to approach me. he thinks i’m the kind who doesn’t want to be disturbed.” you and yeri walked further off the stage to sit at the very front.

she held her chest hearing how awful you might’ve felt from him. “aw that’s bitter tea! y/n i’m sure he doesn’t think that way! it just takes time, might be longer than the other guys but you’ll get there.”

“get to where?”

“to being friends, and not only the professional level.”

at another side of it, taeyong and the rest heard the whole conversation. they shared looks knowing that they had to relay the news to jaehyun, who was staring at you giggling away with yeri. he met eyes with them and had a thin lipped smile, walking towards his friends. “you guys are weird, quit the creepy smiles.”

doyoung smacked the boy’s head for the density his currently possessed. “do you know the impression she has on you?”

“who? yeri?”

now it was taeil’s turn to smack his head. “y/n, you dimwit.” he sighed, looking at your silhouette under dimmed light then onto jaehyun. “she thinks you’re great..”

“but what you do around her seems to have shown you’re not interested in her.” jungwoo completed his sentence.

jaehyun never felt so attacked by both from them and the facts thrown upon him. “what? no! i am interested in her!”

“then tell her that. it isn’t that hard to say you’re interested in being friends.” haechan bent to release the tension in his muscles.

they wanted to encourage him a little more yet were then called to stand-by for another practice, with the interlude as the beginning. the signal from the staff have ordered for the lightings and music to be queued and readied.

mark nudged him in a strength that nearly made him fall. “hey, it’s about the right time you get closer to her,” he said in a low voice, highkey referring to your ruptured ligament on your ankle yet jaehyun seemed to have missed the point. “or else there’ll be no development.”

jaehyun chugged on his bottle in silence. “what do you mean?”

“youngjoon hyung said she’ll be on leave for weeks. i don’t know how long but if you don’t do anything now, you’ll continue to live up to the impression without even talking to her.” he explained and cringed afterwards feeling taeyong and johnny’s presence among them.

“show her that what she choreographed for us is not in vain, okay?” johnny made his hair a mess, before leaving the stage to go to where you were. the stage director said his count down. you cheered on yeri with a thumbs up and the music started its tune.

a/n: can’t seem to add song in between texts, so here’s a link instead ;-; let me know if it doesn’t work :3

it was your choreography up there, that was soon to be shown to the world, recorded to be part of the rundown and later burnt in c.d’s. you felt nervous at the fact if they would really execute what you wanted to show— the form of art you put your sweat upon even if it were just 50 seconds. when jaehyun began taking yeri’s hand after his solo part, leading her then mirroring her movements, your heart squeezed for no reason. they should be able to nail this part until the last beat of the song.

but as you clenched your chest to prevent your hands from shaking, taeyong saw your expression, convincing him enough that your reaction towards this said otherwise.

the boys usually held a small dinner a day prior to the concert, for a good show and performance. yuta decided to invite you to a japanese restaurant nearby so you wouldn’t feel left out or feel a lot distant than you already were with them.

you prepared your essentials before meeting them, the tapes of your ankle band came loose and you reached to adjust it as discomfort was all you felt for a while. jaehyun knelt down to sit across you, licking his dry lips to simmer the nervousness he felt inside. “do you need help?” he asked when you looked up to notice his presence. “or is there anything i can do to help?”

“y-yeah. it needs a proper tightness to it.” you gave a faint nod. he smiled and held your left leg to rest it on his thigh.

silence was slowly killing him, he had to admit that at least. now that you both conversed, what then? would this just be another acquaintance talk like yesterday, where it was only a mere one? nothing else to it? nothing happened?

jaehyun wanted to set the professionalism to the side, heed to his friends’ words and actually become close to you. perhaps put his feelings for you behind him for the meantime. “sorry.” he conceded, which made you confused for a second. “i’m sorry.”

“from the fall yesterday?” you stretched back that your palms were your support as he taped the band around. jaehyun shook his head, making you more confused. “then what are you apologising for?”

“for making you feel like i didn’t want to talk to you since you arrived.”

you stared at him, lips parting when you finally grasped his purpose. “oh.. that! it’s okay. i’m not expecting to be that level of friends immediately.” you chuckled awkwardly because it was a bit of a lie. i mean it took a while to be good friends with the others-”

“i’m sorry that i chose not to talk to you and it might have given you a bad impression of me.” he took your shoe so you could wear and head to the restaurant. “i guess it really is difficult to when i admire you a lot. heck i even asked my groupmates to tone down their knowledge about that because they have plans to embarrass-”

he jolted at the drop of your phone and your sigh, eyes wandering and wavering at it then looking to you. he helped you stand up and when he did too, you sighed heavier, flattened lips and a smile. “my anxiety convinced me that you hated me.” you confessed, finally letting out the worry that has been bothering you for months.

you shyly looked back at him and noticed how he was fidgety as you were. you couldn’t handle the visuals he has— even more now that he was close to you. so ethereal and magnetising.

maybe this was what the somersaults you’ve been feeling all the time. the unexplainable gut feeling that you’d be pulled into something you couldn’t handle?

it was him.

jaehyun panicked at the word. “h-hate? i don’t! not even a bit. i really like you!” he sputtered, then waving his hands to deny his feelings. “i mean like as in like you as person and your dedication to all this.”

“heh..” you both turned to the voice and taeyong smirked what he heard. “just tell her already, jae.” he pointed out, and you were left clueless as they shared the same brain cell. jaehyun’s eyes grew, hoping that his friend wouldn’t expose him, but taeyong answered him with his eyes, as if his voice was almost telepathic.

‘not confessing! you’re not at that intimacy level yet! tell y/n that you wanna hang with her!’

“i-i just wanna get closer to you?” he pondered, scratching his neck from the tornado of feelings whirling inside. “as friends, not as workmates or anything.” he waited for your response, staring in your magnetising orbs that lured him into something deeper.

“we would’ve been if we talked earlier on.” you smiled, hinting that you didn’t mind taking that step with him too. “but yeah, same here, jaehyun.”

jaehyun smiled genuinely at you for the first time, no awkwardness nor forcing himself to. “yes!” he had his fists up with ecstasy that you said his name, only to panic at the time. the dinner was already starting.

taeyong exhaled and swung his arms to let the blood flow normally. “ah, now that’s settled. let’s get to the restaurant too.”

you punched his arm and he flinched at the impact and hissed that it came out more of a question than a reaction you expected. “what you get for lying that you didn’t know anything.” you stuck a tongue out.

“and i’m supposed to pay the price for it?” he rubbed to sooth the pain. “not fair.”

walking to the backstage, you slowly lifted your foot to head down the stairs. “don’t worry, they’ll get their punches from me real soon.” you whistled.

jaehyun took your hand, supporting your weight at the same time. he couldn’t rush you in the state you’re in.

“what about jaehyun? he’s the one who did all this, and had the rest of us included.” taeyong jut his lips to point to the boy, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jackets. “he should get a punch too.”

“i’m not punching someone who wants to be closer to me. it’s not a good.. first impression.” you hid a laugh with flattened lips, jaehyun mirrored you and gave a flirty wink.

with that, he managed to magnetise you, just to make his gap with you,

closer.

#nct 127 #jaehyun oneshot #jung jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun writings #jaehyun au #jaehyun fluff #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #nct #jaehyun nct #jaehyun x reader

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frogoat · 4 years ago

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A Timeline of the Frogwares Sherlock Holmes Games

Most of the following is based on direct information found in the various Sherlock Holmes video games made by Frogwares. While the games make several references to the original Canon as written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, they function separately as perhaps an alternate version of events with new material. For example, when some of the Canon cases are adapted or elements of cases are borrowed for the games original cases. That said, we can at least refer to and compare the Canon with the games own timeline for clues as to how it all lines up...or doesn’t line up at times.

I’ll attempt to provide sources where necessary for any claims I make that aren’t overtly referenced in the games themselves. I will be looking exclusively at the mainline games from Frogwares, not the more casual games released on handheld devices etc. Spoilers ahead, obviously.

1869+ - Chapter One (2021)

*As this game has not been released at the time of this writing, this is all based on the details we have from trailers and interviews*

Acting as a prequel to all previous entries in the series, Chapter One is said to revolve around a 21 year old Sherlock returning to his former family home on a Mediterranean island to investigate his mother’s death. As shown in the first trailer, Holmes’ mother is given the name ‘Violet Holmes’ on her gravestone, along with the years ‘1829-1869′ which evidently refer to the year of her birth and death. It’s possible the game takes place in 1869 shortly after Violet’s, though this hasn’t technically been confirmed as yet. In fact, the previous game Devil’s Daughter has a brief reference from Holmes to his mother dying when he as very young, so it’s possible this was foreshadowing. If the game does take place in 1869, it makes Holmes significantly older in his later adventures than might have been expected. Alternatively, perhaps Holmes returns to investigate Violet’s long-ago death following the introduction of new information. Other trailers say the game takes place ‘at the end of the 19th century’. Time will tell.

1888 - Versus Jack the Ripper (2009)

Events of this game occur from the 31st of August to the 9th November 1888 and loosely follow the historical events surrounding the mystery of Jack the Ripper. The location of Whitechapel is seen again in Testament of Sherlock Holmes and mentioned in Crimes & Punishments. At present this is the earliest point in the Frogwares Sherlock Holmes timeline, though evidently the next entry Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One will be set far earlier, dealing with a 21 year old Sherlock.

1894 - The Awakened (2007)

The game establishes in the opening scenes that it takes place ‘Two years ago, London, 6th of September 1894′ and spans a few months, ending in ‘Scotland, Ardnamurcham Lighthouse, December 1894′. During this time, Holmes’ and Watson’s journey spans from London to Switzerland to New Orleans back to London and finally the aforementioned Scottish lighthouse. Notably, while investigating the Swedish Edweiss Institute, Holmes discovers a seemingly brain damaged and amnesiac but very much alive Professor James Moriarty. During his escape, Sherlock triggers the Professor’s memories of his archenemy, which will lead to complications later on. Also, aside from the obvious Lovecraftian references and a few to the previous entry’s Silver Earring characters, we also get some solid D & D nods and brief encounter with a boy by the name of Hercule Poirot.

1895 - Crimes & Punishments (2014)

This game is probably my favourite in the series. It’s also the first to present a collection of smaller mysteries, rather than an overarching plot. That said, the game does present a loose thread throughout the background of the various and otherwise unconnected mysteries which leads to the final case involving the anarchic and socialist group known as The Merry Men. The first case -an adaption of The Adventure of Black Peter- can be definitively dated as taking place in 1895 due to the titular victim being born in 1845 and established as 50 years of age when he dies. According to the original Canon, Peter died July 1895, meaning at least this single mystery may take place right around the time of the Arsène Lupin game, either before or after.

The second case is loosely based on The Lost Special, a not-quite-Canon story by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle which was released in 1898 but set in 1890. However, the thread about The Merry Men makes it apparent that the game’s version of the adventure occurs after the previous case, so potentially still in 1895.The following case is an original one called Blood Bath and features a suspect named Sir Percival Blinkhorn. I mention this because there is a nod to this character in The Devil’s Daughter which gives his date of death as 1895, making it pretty easy to pin down when this mystery takes place. Additionally, because Crimes & Punishments presents the player with moral choices at the conclusion, via the mention in Devil’s Daughter we also have a canonical outcome for the case.

The next case is a fairly close adaption of The Adventure of the Abbey Grange set in 1897, but based on a photo dated 1893 that is said to be from ‘a year and a half ago’ this case mystery could be easily placed in either 1894 or 1895 much like the other cases before it. A document seen later in the case complicates matters by giving the murder victim’s date of death as November 7th 1894. Still, it may be possible to explain this, as in both the original story and this game’s case Holmes tells the guilty (though noble) party to return for his love in one year’s time. Perhaps the main case is set in 1894 before the rest of the game’s adventures? This is supported by the fact The Merry Men are not mentioned during the case, making it’s placement less connected to the prior mysteries.

The following case is a wholly original adventure taking place at the Kew Gardens and thanks to a few documents found throughout the investigation, it’s evident that it occurs in 1895. The concluding case of the game is also an original one called A Half Moon Walk which brings The Merry Men into the finale. This case sees Holmes and Watson in Whitechapel once more and features references to the Ripper, naturally. This case specifically identifies fireworks being used in celebration of Queen Victoria’s Birthday and Sherlock notes it is May, which lines up with the real world event but indicates Black Peter may have occurred earlier in the year than previously thought. Confirmation of the year 1895 is found when comparing dates of the theft of jewellery said to be a decade prior in 1885. Curiously the games ending cinematic makes mention of a woman moving in next door, presumably intended at the time to foreshadow the next game in the series.

1895 - Versus Arsène Lupin/Nemesis (2007)

This battle of wits spans less than a week from the 14th to 19th of July 1895, with the titular French gentleman thief sets challenges for the master detective across London landmarks. Lupin is foreshadowed in the previous game, Awakened by way of a newspaper article detailing one of his exploits. Furthermore, we get another retroactive reference to the thief during the chronologically earlier Jack the Ripper game when Holmes receives ‘A gift from a young admirer’: a bottle of French champagne from ‘Raoul d’Andresy.’ The game also has overt references to the previous game thanks to Watson’s troubled nightmares and a Cthulhu statue. Oh, and there’s a cute Batman reference for those paying attention!

1896 - Mystery of the Persian Carpet (2008)

More of a side-story, this game begins on the 7th of August 1896 and appears to span only a few days. This game usually isn’t included with the main series of games, often being grouped with the handheld releases instead. I don’t have much to say about this entry, I’m afraid. It relies mostly on reused assets from the previous release in the form of still images for it’s mostly click and find gameplay. If anyone knows of any connections to other games in-universe, let me know!

1897 - Secret of the Silver Earring (2004)

This game also spans a brief period of time; the 14th to the 18th of October 1897. A character mentioned in this game (Hermann Grimble) is mentioned as having been burgled in a later game in the series, Arsène Lupin, making another retroactive connection between two of the games.

1898 - Testament of Sherlock Holmes (2012)

While the framing scenes of this games’ narrative features three little children reading from Watson’s journal at an indeterminate point in the future (though one that becomes more clear as the story progresses), the main story concerning Holmes begins in September 1898 as seen on the newspaper articles throughout the game. We also see returning characters Lucy and Danny from the Jack the Ripper game make appearances. Far more importantly, this game sees the return of mastermind and archfoe Moriarty and marks the first appearance of his daughter (unnamed at this point) in it’s closing moments. Moriarty dies for real this time, leaving his young daughter behind. Holmes adopts her.

1899 - The Mystery of the Mummy (2002)

The one that started the Frogwares video game series of Sherlock Holmes adventures. This story is very clearly set in ‘London 1899′ based on the opening cinematic, and features a solo Holmes answering a request from his distant cousin Andrew’s soon-to-be-wife Elisabeth Montcalfe. The case involves investigating the Montcalfe manor for clues relating to the disappearance and apparent death of Elisabeth’s father Lord Montcalfe, a respected Egyptologist. Dr Watson only appears in the final cinematic of the game, having been on vacation with Mrs Watson, which is I believe the only mention in the games of John’s marriage. This is also -on the surface- the latest chronological adventure for Sherlock, however I have one more I’d like to touch on that I believe *should* take place afterwards.

1895 or 1904/5 - The Devil’s Daughter (2016)

I’m going to be throwing speculation and a corrections into this entry’s timeline. Why? Because without it, the timeline falls apart and I feel it’s easily remedied with a little effort. This game forms a more connected plot which plays across the smaller cases Holmes investigates. The overarching plot surrounds new neighbour Miss Alice De’Bouvier. I think the previous entry, Crimes & Punishments was intended to lead directly into this game, with the teaser of a new female neighbour but as you’ll see that doesn’t make sense. Not only do we meet Miss De’Bouvier, but we also get to know Holmes’ young adopted daughter Katelyn who has been sent home from boarding school unexpectedly. Katelyn is the daughter of James Moriarty first seen as a small child in Testament. Kate becomes aware of the facts of her parentage by the game’s conclusion. Now, the first case, Prey Tell, provides our first continuity problem thanks to a boy named Tom from Whitechapel whom Holmes deduces was ‘born in 1887′ and is ‘8 years old’. This obviously places the game’s events no later than November 6th-7th 1895 (which is further confirmed by pre-paid rental slips and letters seen a little later), which doesn’t fit with Katelyn being a part of Holmes’ life before the events of her introduction in Testament set in 1898. I attribute this discontinuity to Frogwares changing plans during production, as they also made the creative decision to change the physical appearance of both Watson and Holmes and recast the voice actors in an evident attempt to softly refresh the series. There’s a potentially self-aware nod to this changed timeline: Tom has a copy of The Strand Magazine which first printed ‘The Adventure of the Norwood Builder’ by Doyle in his possession. This Canon story is set in 1894 but was published in 1903 however the cover in-game gives it an 1893 cover date, a whole decade earlier than in the real world. Further discontinuity occurs when Katelyn is gifted a copy of ‘Dracula’ by Alice. If the story were to take place in 1895, then Dracula wouldn’t be in print for another two years in 1897 let alone, as is mentioned, banned from Katelyn’s boarding school library.

The second case, A Study in Green is where we see the earlier mentioned reference to Sir Percival Blinkhorn. Additionally, Miss Alice gives Katelyn a copy of The Adventure of the Empty House, which in the real world was published in 1903 and is set in 1894. It details Sherlock’s miraculous return following his apparent death 3 years prior during his struggle with Moriarty. A victim in this case may be a reference to Tarzan, being named Zacharias Greystoke. Oh, and a Sir J Brombsy is also among the list of deceased donors, presumably a relative to the family seen in the Silver Earring game. An expedition in 1881 is said to have been 14 years prior.

The third case presents us with Miss Alice’s birth certificate which gives the year 1867 and we know she is at least 21 years of age (though, evidently older) thanks to another letter. Sherlock discovers he played a major role in Alice’s father being arrested in 1875 which is said to be 20 years prior, again setting the events of this game in 1895. While it’s not impossible that Holmes was active in 1875, it does make it an extremely early adventure based on the Canon, one that predates Watson’s first meeting with Sherlock.

Despite all of these clear and established dates, we still have to consider how this story fits into the continuity of the other games, particularly Katelyn only entering Holmes care in 1898 as established in Testament. A part of me suspects the writers simply liked the concept of Holmes raising the daughter of his greatest foe and perhaps preferred to have this occur earlier, to line up better wth Moriarty’s original death in the Canon during The Final Problem. Either way, I find it more satisfying to use a looser approach to this entry: ignore the established dates from documents and simply place it where it best fits in the game series order of events over all. Essentially, I propose we adopt a sliding timeline to the series, almost. I don’t believe there are any in-dialogue references to the years in question, so we could apply the same lower-tier canonicity to the dates in documents as one might to movie props that contradict the year given on screen or in dialogue. There’s some fun little discrepancies in the fourth case that make me more certain that the game should at least take place at a later year then indicated.

The fourth case Chain Reaction (and my person favourite of the game) involves investigating a traffic ‘accident’. A key aspect of the mystery involves a stolen technical cab from the Underground Electric Railways Company of London, which is in fact a real company that upgraded the existing system of underground railway between 1903 and 1905 to use electricity. If this adventure and the rest of the game were to take place in 1895, this would be an anachronism. Hence why I propose a date of 1904 (or 1905 if you prefer a nice round decade jump) which allows for the electrical system to exist and also gives Katelyn a sensible placement in the timeline after the events of Testament. In fact, it also allows Katelyn to be the older child who attends boarding school, reads Dracula (published in 1897) and generally behaves like a girl older than the small child seen in Testament. Perhaps 6 years older? Of course, this requires us to ignore the specific dates in all the previous cases in the game, but as none of them appear to be tied to anything that absolutely requires them to take place in 1895, I think it would be just as easy to move them forward a decade without affecting anything relevant to the narrative.

So, yes, it’s not a perfect solution but it does correct the continuity errors inherent by placing this story earlier than Holmes’ first meeting with Katelyn in1898. 1904 or 1905 is a better placement for the narrative of the Devil’s Daughter. This is where I think the games narrative should be set. I personally believe the superficial appearances of Watson and Holmes further justify this approach, as visual design and details change throughout the series based on the development teams influences and preferences at the time and can thus be dismissed when they are contradictory to the overall narrative. Who knows, maybe Watson just changed the dates and this game is merely a retelling with his usual embellishments?

Anyway, that was my attempt at a timeline for this great series of games. If you have any notes, please don’t hesitate to share them!

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tobeornottotc · 4 years ago

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So much to say about all Friday shows my brain shut down it’s weird how in a day all the shows that aired from we best love to TT finale made my day and made me happy I cried. We best love is a gem that has come and taken my heart it’s everything I love in BL, it’s like reading a novel and never wanting it to end, the pinining, longing and now the angst still upcoming. My love to all the characters? Everything about the acting, music, and writing. Taiwan came back and said you haven’t forgotten why you adorE BL right? Well here’s more reasons. I’ve missed Taiwan shows for so long I used to take the history series for granted despite my love for it and now look at me. We best love is just so great and cheesy and yet done so well I’ve not have any issues with it 😭 it’s not short, I like how angsty yet sweet it gets. Just everything

Then you have to my star. Is there any moment when Korea does something that does not make me shout from the rooftops another great one!! Like are we surprised at this point. Where your eyes linger still is my favourite Korean BL and although different I get the same vibes from to my star, there’s secret pining, confusing hidden hints to maybe more than just a very happy celebrity that is clingy and flirty. Seojun seems to know he likes boys from the start or is it just me. I won’t be surprised that the reason he’s hiding that video is because the reason there was a fight was because it’ll out his sexuality, either he had something with said guy he paid money to keep quiet about or said guy knows about his sexuality and threatened to blackmail him. But it’s the subtle hints that he may know about himself and his feelings like in episode 4 how many times he leaves clues and hints he likes Jiwoo but hides it behind this clingy want to be friends persona, I think when he was drunk he let out his true feelings he’s been hiding and he outed himself on purpose. I’m probably thinking too much but there’d be a lot at stake in my opinion if someone knew he likes guys it’d be a bigger scandal that’s probably why he acts like he doesn’t know when he’s flirting or hinting he likes someone. Just me? Jiwoo is also an interesting tsundere why does he have his walls so up, he clearly also has feelings but in the trailer he’s going to harshly break Seojun’s heart? Obviously I think it’s a lie it’s noble idiocy he realised it was the way to help him not get caught in another scandal. I really need to know more about his character. And the chef who knows more than he lets on who is he speaking to about Seojun does he know the other guy in the video? Does he know why Seojun is hiding the video he seems to have picked on the chemistry of Seojun and Jiwoo more proof that person was right? Let me know what your ideas are on this show. If this show is dealing with internalised homophobia and the scandal of the media invasion and celebrity lifestyle then man it’ll be fun to rewatch this time and time again. Kisses in Korean BL shows have become a staple for revealing a lot of secrets and pushing our couples to confront the truth about what they try to rationalise when it comes to their feelings. In where your eyes linger them entering a relationship was not good for them because it’d lead to separation and more. In Mr heart the kiss was revealed and forced our marathon runner to question his priorities and feelings. And in wish you the kiss happened when Sang yi could no longer run away from what he was feeling even if it meant they couldn’t be together because of same reasons as this show I’m guessing a scandal being caused because idols and celebs dating is a bit forbidden in kmusic and kdrama industry. Loses the fans. And attracts media attention. Let’s see what To my star reveals with this kiss now Seojun isn’t hiding what he feels anymore.

Then we have 1000 stars premiere and I cried at sheer greatness I’m a clown I came into it trying hard to keep my expectations at bay but my 30 minutes in I was bawling stunned and quiet. The directing is exquisite, in depth and littered with clues and hints to the themes of the show. The focus on the flashbacks of Tiens life coated in dark light and suffocating aura compared to the light and warm atmosphere of Torfuns narration whose life seemed hard but she found peace and joy just helping people and learning about the joy of finding value in every little things she had and saw. The peace that Tien couldn’t feel because he felt stifled and empty from his own choices when he thought his life span would be short. He didn’t know the value of money, life or little things. He wasted and gambled precious things to him, acted privelaged and lost hours in a sea of acohol, cigarettes and more. His lifestyle felt wrong after he realised he was given a second chance to find meaning. There’s an overall dark theme of corruption, greed and power that’s going to me an obstacle for the characters. Torfuns demise is clearly more than just an accident with the way people are trying to push her life to the side rapidly, hide details like even selling Tiens car which I have a feeling is what took her life (not him but he bet it in a race before he fainted) or clues that Phupha isn’t going to be done trying to figure out what happened to her it’s foreshadowing this isn’t over yet. We also have another villain who fled during the forest ranger fights at the beginning, he’s definitely coming back I wonder what these criminals want and how much danger Pha will have to deal with with this boss and his other hooligans. Why are they in the forest and what do the rangers have to protect? Lastly our couple met and you can’t tell me that Pha isn’t smitten he is struck with love at first sight immediately he meets Tien but he hides it through his stern cover and he finds it funny to bicker and tease him. He also thinks Tien is too delicate, rich and shallow to stay to help the kids, so he’ll struggle with liking Tiens determination and drive to feeling angry at how much value of life and money he takes for granted but it’s a learning arc something Tien will grow learning and transforming from. Their bickering is cute, both are intrigued by each other already Tien because Pha is connected to Torfun’s wishes and hopes, but also he saw him in the weird fantasy dream thing. He’s intrigued by his stern cover vs why people seem to think he’s sweet and kind. And he’s irked by the guy who keeps getting under his skin and calling him out. It’s going to be fun to see his own reactions and feelings develop slowly and his doubt that it’s his and it’s Torfun’s heart acting up. That conflict will be so interesting to explore and knowing Backaof we’ll get a deeper conversation about sexuality, spirituality and more. All his shows even his fantasies have these deep reflections and conversations about feelings and life of someone struggling with what their sexuality is to them. Even when fantasy he never fails to include those scenes. But also there’s always a massive plot twist hidden in the story that could tear our characters apart, and it’s connected to our girls demise 🥺 i have so much more to say about this show. But for now just know I’m obsessed in awe and excited for this journey. It’ll be emotional a roller coaster of emotions and lessons, but also a love story I can’t wait to see unfold

Lastly TT finale. It’s precious to say TharnType will always have a place in my heart, marked into it as my favourite couple. Their love is so incredible, everlasting and theirs, their journey to each other has never been easy and yet their love is constant, precious and real. They make me smile and want to cry because I still can’t process we’ve come to the end. Boy was it a good way to say goodbye. I will miss this show, the annoyances, problems and also the good moments. I will miss my LeoFiat dramatic souls, their angst and their own journey to each other. Glad to seeFiat finally got to define the relationship he’s been hoping and waiting for. And Leo finally got to show Fiat how much he’s cared. Question why didn’t I get a kiss scene from them? Forever staying petty about that. Champ and Khun did what they were meant to do, their own relationship was also adorable and I just wish it wasn’t only the last episode we had to deal with their confession and realisation that there’s been something here all along. Champs cute though his nativity and dumbness was real and pure but I like how he understood what he was feeling and why he wanted Khun by his side and more. So well done to them getting together. We had Tharn finally Wade his way into Type’s fathers acceptance I wish he wasn’t just a comedic role but we had more conversations serious ones about him learning to accept Tharn still it was wholesome he grew to finally let them be together he understood Type was never going to leave Tharn and was at his best with him. Love the Kirigun family and how much they push Tharn to be his best. Their support was earnest and I loved we saw Thorn get married like a full circle after he proposed and found his own love story. We Stan a very protective supportive older brother who has always been a source of help during TT relationship. Techno irked me in this series and he became one of my least fave characters his snooping whilst cute just didn’t mesh well with me and I kept wondering where his man was because he acted like someone who wasn’t satisfied in the relationship he was in. Just an annoying presence overall. Sorry not sorry. That being said I didn’t hate this sequel and I know rewatching it as second part to TT journey watching 24 episodes of TT back to back will be an emotional experience and will show you all the clues, meta, subtext and overall plot of these two in a better light. Overall TT is always going to be a fave show of mine, and the sequel whilst not fulfilling all my expectations it made me still feel like it was worth my attention and care. Thank you to the cast, crew and production for this. My Fridays will never be the same we’re really now in 2021 with these new shows 😭 just manner of d@earth to go. 😭

Friday shows bringing me joy, excitement and most of all new lessons and new ideas. I’m so excited and I loved that these are the shows we have in January. Let’s hope they keep being great and our Fridays stay exciting and warm 👌

#we best love #to my star #1000stars #tharntype #Thai bl #bl series #bl drama #Korean bl #reviews #analysis #no 1 for you

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joecial-distancing · 3 years ago

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July Roundup

Lifestyle:

I’ve been getting back into running this summer. It’s been about 4 years since I’ve done any serious running, and I have been made painfully aware of the differences in my body at age 29 compared to 25. My knees hurt more, I need to attend to stretching much more seriously than I used to. I’m coming at the task with better self-knowledge than last time, though; I know how far and how fast I’ve been capable of pushing, and I find an enormous amount of comfort and strength from that familiarity.

I’ve also been applying to jobs, a process which started as nauseatingly daunting, but has gradually settled into just a regular chore of the week (ideally chore of the day, if I’m to keep up with new years resolutions). Getting a resume mushed into a satisfying shape has felt nice, as has getting together a form cover letter that I know hasn’t hurt my chances of getting my foot in doors. Annoyance Boxes checked off, and the rest is getting familiar with the rest of the grind. Interviews have been and will be the same process.

Games:

I’ve also been playing a lot of Sekiro. I’ve always “liked” Fromsoft games, but it’s been rare that I’ve been able to justify the time investment. There’s an appeal in the structure, endless chances to bash myself against a problem until it clicks, being able to run drills when stuck or inadequate (and there is a hook in the inadequacy; nothing frustrates me more than being unable to Just figure out a solution, or requiring too much time to get there. I have a tense relationship with time and deadline pressure. Impatience is one of my greatest vices). So with school finished, I’m diving into this as a treat to myself. The systems are fun, and the camera is so fucking awful that I get unreasonably angry about it. One thing I always do with these games that I think is anathema to a lot of their fans is to spoil myself on what I’m up against. In dark souls I would always have open area maps, rather than try to navigate the combat and exploration simultaneously. It put my mind at ease, I didn’t like the discomfort of the tension of untriggered surprise. And with Sekiro, I know roughly the zones I’m up against, I’m not above watching videos of the boss fights to learn the proper counters etc. No shame, no honor, that’s not what I get out of these games, really.

As with running, so with jobsearch, so with Sekiro, the method is diligence, the appeal is the pleasure of feeling my improvement over time. There is nothing more exciting to me than casually accomplishing something that I know would have annihilated me only a short time ago. I can finish 2 miles in 20 minutes, I want to get it down to 15. This also means the videogame tends to lose out on the priorities list—if I’m wanting to dedicate myself to practice, there’s almost always a different outlet that’d be better outcomes in the long run

very 8 of pentacles mood overall, lately.

Books:

I’m almost done with Pynchon’s Against the Day, which had taken up all of my Reading attention span this month. Unless it does something in the final 8% to lose me hard, it’ll probably clock in as my 2nd favorite of his stuff, behind Gravity’s Rainbow. Anarchism as expressed against American mining companies, European empires, and the Mexican state; searches for a lost paradise city; warfare between schools of mathematics; the nature of Light. At face value, it feels closest to Gravity’s Rainbow and Mason & Dixon, compared to the rest of his work (I know there’s a lot of subtext and referencing going over my head with all of these in terms of both history and literature; I noticed a lot of reviews of AtD focused about the variety of genre style work that he’s pulling from in certain sections, nearly all of which is lost on me. It has, however, been very fun to me that I’m able to keep up with the mathematic academia infighting depicted in this). There’s a “fairy tales coming to life” quality to all three, if instead of Grimms’ stories it’s historical models of the world: Supersonic rockets wreck the flow of pavlovian cause & effect, the destruction of natural landscape in the course of linear surveying becomes a direct conduit for a massive influx of evil energy, quaternion mathematics casting time as real and space as imaginary allow a yogi to contort himself out of sight and into the imaginary plane. The aether is experimentally disproven in the beginning of Against the Day’s timeline, which doesn’t stop holdout engineers and mystics from working wonders with it.

It feels like there’s about as much going on in here as GR, but where GR is claustrophobically overstuffed (which is also part of the reason it’s a better book) and Mason & Dixon gets kind of plodding, the material here is given space to breathe, without losing momentum. It probably helps that the characters in this are a.) numerous, and b.) unusually solid as far as Pynchon goes.

It’s also got many great examples of something else I really like about Pynchon, which is that he is willing to commit 110% to incredibly stupid jokes. There’s an Elmer Fudd reference in here that completely knocked me on my ass.

Viz:

Watched the Bo Burnham netflix, which was mostly pretty good, though I’m completely out of patience for ostentations self-awareness or fake debate where the ~comedian~ who’s concerned about being ~white privileged mannn~ feels guilty he might be ~taking up space~, doesn’t know that he ~deserrrrves it~... out of patience because I already know what he did with that guilt (if genuine) — he didn’t scrap the project, he released the fucking thing anyway. What am I to do with this, Bo Burnham? Would you like my permission? Would you like an “it’s ok dude” from people of marginalized groups within your audience? Why am I watching along for a decision you’ve quite literally already made? I don’t trust displays of vulnerability before an audience of this size.

Also watched through I Think You Should Leave, which... sure it’s funny, and also very effective at making me uncomfortable, which is clearly what it’s aiming to do, but. I don’t really get why it’s got such a strong cultural draw within the online spheres I’m normally checked into. Saw some discourse about how the quotability is somehow distinct from regular memeing, which, alright get over yourselves jesus christ.

speaking of flavors of the month, watched 50 shades and lmao. I’ve been told by a trusted source the books are worse which is hilarious.

also speaking of flavors of the [century], S.O. and I have been doing a rewatch of pre-MCU comic book movies, which has been some fascinating anthropology. It meant, though, that we had to sit through howard the duck, an absolutely wretched film. Other highlights so far: willem dafoe power rangers acting, the soundtrack on affleck daredevil (incl a fuckin choice Evanescence exercise montage), Blade & Blade II still hold up.

We’ve also made it to the final season of pre-reboot xfiles. Duchovny’s mostly gone from this last season, replaced largely by robert patrick of T1000 fame, who is a better actor but a worse character, dude’s basically just A Cop. The writing’s weirdly probably better than the last couple Duchovny seasons, but the show doesn’t work without him — his bad acting was the main thing keeping things together, the tone’s all off now.

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aaniiki · 5 years ago

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Something I wrote for @jimmyneutronfan4life I’m realizing how horribly out of practice I am, but I hope you still like it. I used some of my own headcanons.

Rating: K Word Count: 3182 Pairing: Jimmick

Nick kicked his skateboard up and caught it in his hands as he reached the end of Jimmy’s driveway. The sun had just begun to set and cast an orange hue over the neighborhood. He exhaled sharply as he walked up to the door, giving a quick look around the area to see if anyone was around, stopping momentarily at Cindy Vortex’s bedroom window. She was nosy. If she saw him there, she would surely ask about it the next day. Luckily for him, her curtains were drawn shut and her house seemed silent. He knocked a few times on the front door and waited for what seemed far too long until it was opened for him.

“Oh, Nick.” Jimmy stood in the doorway, a plate of food in hand and dressed in comfy sweats. He seemed momentarily confused until a light sparked behind his eyes in realization. “I’m sorry, I lost track on time. Come in.” He stepped aside, allowing Nick to cross through the doorway and into his home.

Nick looked around. Funny, he hadn’t stepped foot in Jimmy Neutron’s home since that party he’d thrown when they were in elementary school. As far as he could remember, not much had changed. “I’m glad you made it.” Jimmy spoke up behind him.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Nick asked with a chuckle, leaning his skateboard up against the wall beside the door. Jimmy said nothing, just smiled softly. At that moment Nick realized the house otherwise seemed lifeless. “Your parents are out?”

Jimmy took a bite of the food he was holding. “Date night,” he answered. “They left right before you showed up. Gotta keep the romance alive, I guess.” He finished with a swallow.

“I guess.” Nick repeated. He actually thought that was kind of sweet. His parents didn’t do things like that, at least as far as he knew. They were just content with each other’s company, but that was about it.

“I’m sorry, do you want anything?” Jimmy asked, gesturing to his dinner. “There’s more than enough in the fridge.” Nick peered into the plate. Grilled chicken, veggies, some kind of brown rice and a orange sauce. No doubt a little kick of spice to it. Looked appetizing, but he was feeling antsy.

“No thanks,” he answered with a hand up in protest. “I had something on the way over.” If you want to call a questionable empanada from the gas station down the street ‘dinner’. Jimmy only shrugged and didn’t push further. He placed his dinner down and held a finger up to Nick, implying he’d be back in a minute. With that he ran up the stairs and head to what Nick could only assume was his bedroom.

He was alone. Nick felt an uncomfortable tightening in his chest. It was an unusual, kind of irritating feeling. He wasn’t used to it. Letting another deep exhale escape him, he began an unsteady pace around the living room. He stopped when he reached the fireplace, which clearly hadn’t been used in some time. Framed pictures of the Neutron family decorated the mantle, spanning across years. They documented family outings and holidays, but most were Jimmy with various trophies and ribbons he had won from different contests and science fairs. Nick could not help but smile. They all seemed so normal. So happy. A true ideal of the all-American family. He had wondered how nice it might actually be to get a little closer to this family.

The sudden slamming of a door and the hurried steps down the staircase jerked Nick from his train of thought. Jimmy approached him, out of breath and handed him a small plastic case with the words Day of Vengeance II written sloppily across the top. “Here it is.”

Nick had almost forgotten why he even came here in the first place. Earlier in the week he’d somehow gotten caught up in conversation with Jimmy, and learned that, when he wasn’t inventing something ridiculous and possibly dangerous, he was able to use his state of the art technology to access impossible to find media and rip them on DVDs. He looked down at the disk and smiled. “This isn’t supposed to hit theaters for three more weeks.” He looked up, and met Jimmy’s gaze. “It’s really cool of you to do this for me, man.”

“It’s no big deal.” Jimmy shrugged, feeling a little bit proud of himself. Someone like Nick had been impressed with something he had done, and that doesn’t come around very often. “It’s actually fairly simple to hack into video feed from the Korean film festivals. Especially since they went from physical film to digital.” He laughed a little and raised a brow. “Nothing is ever truly offline anymore.”

Nick felt his breath catch in this throat and turned away, slipping the case into the pockets of his worn leather jacket. “Well, thanks.”

Jimmy’s expression faltered a bit, and he looked down at the floor. “I hope you enjoy it. I’ll have to give it a watch at some point.” The tone is his voice softened to sound almost sad.

There was a moment of silence between the two boys. Why does he have to use such a sad tone? Nick’s heart beat was singing in his ears. With a loud throat clear, he spoke out “if you’re up for it, we can watch it together.”

Jimmy’s head immediately shot up. “Right now?” A genuine smile spread across his face. Nick’s heart skipped.

Keeping composure, Nick relaxed a little and removed the disk from his pocket. “Totally. If you’re not busy causing chaos in that lab of yours.” Shaking his head, Jimmy took the disk from Nick’s hands and gestured to the couch for him to have a seat before starting it up on the television.

The sun had completely set at this point, and the TV was the only source of light. Nick could barely see as Jimmy came to the couch and sat beside him. “I was also able to get the deleted scenes and director’s commentary,” Jimmy started, reaching for his food he’d set down earlier. “If that interests you.”

It didn’t, but Nick wouldn’t tell him that. Something about his eagerness and unbridled joy made it hard for him to do so. “Thanks.” He sat back into the couch, the leather of his jacket making noisy friction with the fabric.

“You can take your jacket off.” Jimmy never took his eyes off the screen, but somehow still sounded very inviting. Nick obliged and threw it on the adjacent chair. The movie had only been on for a little over ten minutes, but to Nick it felt like days had passed. He wasn’t even fully paying attention. He could hear Jimmy’s light chewing and occasional soft chuckles when something funny had happened. The earlier feelings of slight paranoia crept back in. What if Jimmy told his friends that he sat alone in the dark with Nick Dean and watched a movie? Seems innocent enough to some, but not to Nick.

“Hey, Neutron…” He began, almost whispering. He felt a slight sweat begin the break. “Can you…” He adjusted himself and sat straight up. At this point he had Jimmy’s full attention. “Can you not tell anyone I was here tonight?” No matter how he thought about it, there was no way to request that without sounding like a complete jerk.

Jimmy froze. His features softened and he looked down at his lap. “Oh.” It wasn’t what he was expecting, but he should have. “That’s fine.” His response was short, and he looked back up trying to seem unbothered. No such luck.

A sudden pang of guilt washed over Nick as he saw how Jimmy reacted. “It’s nothing personal, it’s just-“

“No, I get it.” Jimmy cut him off, holding a hand up in his face. He raised his voice a little in defense. “I guess hanging out with me would damage your image.”

Jimmy’s words spat out like venom. In that moment Nick felt so unbelievably small. It’s true that he had managed to carry the cool and popular status all the way through to the beginning of high school. Even in a completely new building with dozens of new classmates, he never had any competition in that area. It wasn’t even something he tried to do intentionally, but it always just happened for him. He didn’t share many classes with Jimmy, considering the obvious gap in academic excellence between them, but he still considered him a friendly acquaintance. The fact that Jimmy thought of him as nothing more than an image to be kept honestly really hurt in that moment. He understood, though. At least, he tried to.

Jimmy took a deep breath, and realized that what he had said may have come out harsh. “Look, I know I’m not the most popular guy in school. So, no hard feelings. I promise.” His tone wasn’t the least bit convincing, but he refused to let his face show what he was really feeling.

“That’s not what I meant.” Nick responded in a soothing manner, trying to diffuse. He took in a sharp breath and ran his hands through his hair. “I know you know there’s been rumors about me…” His voice trailed off slightly, realizing he could never come back from what he was about to say.

Jimmy waited for a minute for him to continue, but nothing came out. He just shrugged. “Rumors?”

BZZZ….BZZZ

There’s no way Neutron didn’t know, Nick had thought. He must be jerking me along. “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” His eyebrows furrowed as he maintained eye contact with Jimmy, trying to read him.

BZZZ….BZZZ

Jimmy shook his head in protest. “I honestly don’t know what you mean. Like I said, I’m not that popular.”

BZZZ…BZZZ

“Please answer that.” Nick pressed his fingers to his temples. He was starting to stress himself out. He watched as Jimmy dug his phone out of his pocket and read the chain of messages that had interrupted their conversation. He didn’t mean to peek, but he saw that they were all from Cindy. Or rather, ‘Vortex’ with a flame emoji next to her name. It could be a jab at the fact that she’s such a hot headed inferno. Or maybe she ignited a fire within Jimmy.

Something in Nick hoped for the former.

Without replying, Jimmy put his phone back in his pocket. “Just Cindy,” he confirmed. “She left her notebook here.”

Oh. That was all Nick could think. He felt a sudden knot in his stomach. “You guys hang out?” He wasn’t sure why he asked that. An urge came over him. Jimmy nodded matter-of-factly at that. He’d thought it was obvious that him and Cindy still held a decent relationship through all the years that passed. Cindy would come over around the times of big exams, and they’d hole up in the lab to study. They were still able to salvage something from the ruins of their romantic relationship that had ended towards the end of Junior Highschool.

“Are you working things out again?” Nick asked bluntly, turning away from Jimmy and pretending to watch the television that had still been going in the background this whole time. A chill ran over him once the words left his lips. I should mind my own business.

Jimmy laughed audibly, caught off guard at that. He shook his head and held a hand to his mouth to stifle more laughing. “Absolutely not.” He finally answered, in the most confident tone Nick had probably ever heard from him.

“Why not? She’s cute.” Nick replied, digging a playful elbow into Jimmy’s side.

“Well, you can date her.”

There was a silence. Jimmy felt the energy in the room shift almost instantly as soon as he said that. He looked at Nick who had sunk back down into the couch and glued his eyes back on the television. They had been talking all this time, so there was no way he was retaining what this movie was about. It was just noise at this point. He was afraid he’d said something wrong, and let it be.

“So you really don’t know?” Nick had finally spoken up again after several minutes. “You really haven’t heard any rumors?”

“I swear on my lab.” Jimmy could hear Nick’s breathing become heavier, but he sat patiently and waited for him to speak.

“You heard about what happened with me and that cheerleader?”

After a moment of digging through his memories, Jimmy recalled a moment in time where Nick was regularly seen hanging around a pretty blonde cheerleader. Emma was her name? Heather? Jimmy couldn’t remember. He’d never really spoken with her, but he also never thought anything of it. Just Nick being friendly and popular with the girls, as always. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen Nick around her much lately. “Sort of,” he answered, more like a question.

“She was a friend,” Nick began, “someone I was really close to. I cared about her a lot.” His sentence seemed to trail off, but then he noticed that Jimmy’s striking blue eyes were glued to him. “She wanted something more and I wasn’t interested, so I turned her down. Things escalated and she started a rumor that I-” his breath caught in his chest. His face turned hot and he felt his fingers trembling in his lap. “That I’m…into dudes.”

Though it felt good to get out, there was an uncomfortable stillness in the air. Jimmy never took his eyes off Nick, and he could feel them burning into the side of his face. “Why’d you turn her down?” Jimmy’s voice was serious, and curious. Nick felt in that moment that he was being studied, and he kind of hated it.

“Not my type.”

“Well, what is your type? Now that I think of it, I’ve never seen you with a girlfriend.”

Why is he looking at me like I’m one of his stupid experiments? Nick wasn’t sure how to answer that. He didn’t think Jimmy would be this invested. “I don’t know.” It was a lackluster response, but he was afraid of divulging too much.

"So...are you?" Jimmy's words filled the empty void of space between them in the darkness.

"Am I what?" The end of the sentence shot out sharply.

"Are you attracted to men?"

That was it. Nick's entire being felt like he'd been hit head on by a truck. It was a question he'd been struggling with for a while now.

“Whatever, dude.” Nick couldn’t think of anything else to say. He felt utterly defeated. He leaned back into the couch, as far away from Jimmy as he could manage without falling off.

“You brought it up.” Jimmy answered in a small snicker.

Studying his face, Jimmy could tell more and more that Nick was embarrassed and vulnerable. It was a heavy topic to put out in the world, especially to someone he didn’t know all too well. He felt a little pang of guilt in his chest for pushing. The only thing he could think to do was extend a hand out to his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Nick tensed up at the feeling of Jimmy’s hand on him. “You can tell me, you know.” Jimmy knew everything. Behind every rumor there had to be a little bit of truth, he figured.

“Hmm..” Nick only mused gently and slouched in his seat, almost collapsing into his own body out of sheer embarrassment.

“You can trust me.” Jimmy initiated, trying to lighten up the palpable tautness in the air. “I know we may not be extremely close, but I hope you know I wouldn’t…” His words trailed off. He’d stopped dead when Nick moved his hand and placed it gently on his own.

“I need to work it out myself.” Nick’s voice was trembling. He refused to meet Jimmy’s gaze, and his cheeks were flushed. Good thing it was still somewhat dark in the room.

Jimmy didn’t pull away. If anything he thought it good to be comforting in that moment. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, Nick.”

“I’m not ashamed.” Nick replied sternly. He really wasn’t. It was just a lot to handle in short time. He knew that his classmates may not be as accepting as Jimmy was right in that moment, and he didn’t feel like putting up with that for the remaining 3 years of high school. Even telling Jimmy was a risk, but he owed it to himself to let it out to someone. “I just want to be totally sure of myself before I say anything about it to anyone else.”

Jimmy decided it was best not to say anything. He looked down at Nick’s hand that was still positioned over his own and smiled. “You know, you’re still the coolest guy I know.” In a swift motion, he swapped places with Nick’s hand, earning a small gasp from him. “I don’t think any less of you.”

It was sincere. Nick knew that much. He felt his hand start to sweat a little under Jimmy’s touch, and drew it away. “Thanks, Neutron. I’m really surprised you’re not grossed out.” Nick gave a light hearted grin.

“Not at all. It’s perfectly natural and occurs in almost all living species.” Jimmy was practically giddy.

Of course he’d find a way to relate it to science. Nick caught himself smiling. He felt an indescribable heaviness lift from him. He’d shared something that had been weighing severely on his mind for a long time. He was supposed to just come here, grab a movie and leave. He probably would have just gone home and stew even further in his own thoughts.

“Hey, Nick?” Jimmy spoke, returning to his original crisscrossed position on the couch. “I really appreciate you telling me something so important to you.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me, dude.” Nick’s voice toughened a little, but he smile never faded.

“Did you completely lose track of what’s happening in this movie?” Jimmy questioned, turning to him with an almost cunning expression.

Nick only shook his head and exhaled. “I can just watch it at home.”

“Am I boring you?” Jimmy asked brazenly, already seizing the remote and stopping the film to return it to the first scene. Nick didn’t argue. He just sat back and watched as the opening titles flashed across the screen. “You haven’t answered my question yet.”

Nick looked at him quizzically. “Huh?”

“You said you didn’t pursue a relationship with her because she wasn’t your type. What’s your type?” Jimmy never bothered to look at him, but he knew Nick had turned impossibly red.

Without even noticing he had done so, Nick scooted closer to Jimmy to where they were almost touching. He casually swung an arm over the back of the couch and relaxed, feeling the most content and sure of himself he’d had in quite a long time. “I think you’ll figure it out.”

#jimmy neutron #jimmy neutron: boy genius #jimmick #fanfiction #my works

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fallingstarsarentreal · 4 years ago

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The Blue-Haired Minnie Mouse/ Purple Hoodie Guy

September 14, 2020 (6 months after Hellish pandemic break loose)

The situation is not getting any better in the Philippines. Everything is just being a huge joke here and we’re not actually getting proper response from the high ranking officials. Hence, I cannot help but feel quite hopeless with the situation. Also, the toxicity of my fandom has been getting to me at one point in time. So I have decided to go away for a bit, and go back to what soothes me at hard times, Music.

Truth be told, I liked his former band’s music, but I’m not in to the point that I will be stanning them as hard as I am doing right now. (I’m really not into KPOP except for Blackpink so I don’t have much reference... And I usually like ballad and relaxing songs.) I didn’t have the time to watch series then because I was too busy in my former job. Also, I have been into writing way before, so I would be satisfied with listening to their music from time to time.

However, by the time that I have fallen in love with their band, 9by9th, I found out that their “End Route” means the end already, no more renewal of contract of 1 year. I was quite devastated with the news and I kinda took it hard and tried to go fan girl over series instead. *SOBS*

(9x9th members: L-R: Thanapob, Ryu, Captain, Porsche ^^, JameyJames, Third, Jackie, Jaylerr, IceParis)

When Trinity debuted, I was really focused on Third and I can remember that I cried over their MV (Hater’s Got Nothing) because I thought that Third will be able to continue with what he’s passionate about. (Third is originally from Kamikaze group but the company disbanded, and his second group is 9x9th but disbanded as well after one year). I kind of followed them for a bit but then I started managing Philippine Fan club bases of my favorite series, with everything that happened, I got too busy... but all I can remember then was the old me crying because I cannot buy the merchandise from before. (Quite a noob then and I didn’t know about pasabuys and stuff.. so yeah). T_T.

(Trinity members: L-R: Jackie, Porsche <3, JMJ, Third)

Before hell broke lose in the whole world, I had the opportunity to go back to Thailand for the second time and I met those artists that I am following. I actually wanted to meet Trinity but there was no opportunity for me to do so because I didn’t even check their schedule then and I think there wasn’t any update regarding their work, so yeah... T_T. (Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed my stay in Bangkok)

So yeah.. After probably taking in shit from the govt for about 7 months already, and toxicity from something that I really used to enjoy and made me smile, I started to distance myself for a bit because what I really need now is not stress, but something that will probably lift up my mood. So what I did was to stress myself even further... watch mystery series that will probably make your head burst into thinking... so in the end, I actually stopped watching BL series and stumbled into their first series together as 9x9 boys, In Family We Trust.

So an excerpt from Wikipedia says,

The Jiraanan family is a wealthy ethnic Chinese business family, whose extended family spans three generations. Grandfather (A-gong) and Grandmother (A-ma) have four children. Prasoet, the eldest son, heads the family business, Jirananta Hotel, and manages its main Bangkok location, while Phatson, the only daughter, manages its Pattaya branch. Met, the second son, is a single stay-at-home parent, while the youngest son Konkan lives a playboy lifestyle. Among them (and a deceased fifth sibling), they have nine third-generation children. The family members seem to get along well as they celebrate A-gong's birthday, but when he dies of old age shortly after, and his will is revealed to exclude Phatson from inheritance of the hotel, she gets into an argument with Prasoet regarding its management. Prasoet is then found dead from a gunshot in his bedroom, and Phatson becomes a prime suspect. Prasoet's wife Chris also becomes suspected when it is revealed that Prasoet had been seeing a mistress for twenty years. The grandchildren, especially Prasoet and Chris's son Pete and Phatson's eldest son Yi, become involved as each family tries to prove their innocence and uncover the mystery of the case.

This was the first time that I started to look at him. Porsche played the character of Kuaitiao, the orphaned grandson who lived with Grandpa and Grandma. Kuaitiao is actually an art student here and he’s passionate about his drawings.

What probably captured my attention is his ability to lighten up the mood around him. Even at awkward situations he was able to make me laugh. And probably the fact that he’s close to his grandma and a sweet grandchild even if he’s an adopted one. It kinda got into me. I’ll be honest. There was a scene where Grandma wouldn’t eat, and he pretended to be angry and did not eat as well. I found it cute and smiled at first, but after few moments, I was sobbing already. He made me miss my grandma who passed away last July 15.

Over all, I loved his acting here. Rating 4.5/5

(But please, don’t make him cry because I’ll end up crying as well).

(He’s such a precious person guys, pleaseeeee... make him smile a lot, okay?)

So, of course, once you’re interested in your new bias wrecker’s work, you’re going to check his latest and previous works, right? So what I did next is watched their latest series (still with 9x9 boys, but this time, it was 7/9 only. I just found out that Thanapob cannot join the series anymore because he’s busy filming another series and Ryu is actually an actor of another channel. Hence, his few appearances as Macao in In Family We Trust) entitled as, Great Men Academy.

(Great Men Academy Cast: Porsche as P’Good <3, Third as Nuclear, JameyJames as Love, Jackie as Menn, Captain as Sean, Jaylerr as Tangmo, and IceParis as Vier)

The excerpt of the story is as stated below,

Love (Chanyapuk Numprasop) has always been a fan of the popular guy Vier (Paris Intarakomalyasut) of the famous all boys high school Great Men Academy, but she has never had the chance to meet him. One day, she sees the mystical unicorn rumored to fulfill wishes and wished for her love for Vier to get a chance.

Unfortunately, the unicorn interpreted her wishes in a different way and Love wakes up to find herself in a male's body. She is able to switch between genders under the condition that she must return as a girl before midnight each night. Love attends Great Men Academy as a guy, and works through the complications of winning Vier's heart and meeting new people while trying to keep her identity a secret.

I actually fell in love with P’Good’s character here because he’s such a stern but doting brother. Good is kinda strict when it comes to Love at first because he has to be strong for their whole family because his dad passed away. He’s a very smart guy, yet clumsy fellow. He can also be shy when it comes to Me. (His crush in the series. Why can’t it be “me” instead? Just kidding).

Over all, I loved how he brought to life my favorite glasses ikemen on this series. He made me cry with the way he handled the vulnerability of his sister, Love. His acting for me in this series is a complete 5.0/5.0! *For the love of Good, Please?*

I rest my case. I’m dying again of spazzing to Phi Good. (Okay. I have a huge crush on this character. The character, okay?!) hahaha

Wait... let me breathe for just a bit... *hyperventilates in Good’s name*

Then after watching the said series, I started to rewatch their Elements MV. And that got me hooked. I noticed his talent in rapping, singing and dancing that I wouldn’t have normally seen in the first place because I have a bias of my own before.

It’s like the more that I watch him, the more I fall for this person (in terms of being a fan of his). I kind of accepted that he’s my bias on Trinity now when I saw this video. (ปาว ปาว (Shout) – V.R.P kamikaze)

I’ve been reading articles about him when I came across the interview of Bangkok Post with Third and Porsche regarding their new work. (being 9x9th members and In Family We Trust). I found out that Porsche was actually a member of VRP of Kamikaze and I watched all his previous work. So when I saw the video Paw Paw/ (Shout), I burst into laughter. I knew from that time that he’s such a funny guy and he’s giving me positive vibes.

As I continued watching, I saw him with a Minnie mouse headband, and I lost it... I laughed a lot, which I rarely do these days. So by then, I wasn’t able to help it, I started to love this kid more.

I continued to watch all the showcases, the fancams, the v-live videos, the vlogs about him and goodness gracious, I am really swoon. This kid is such an interesting person and I really regret not knowing him right away.

As I get to know him, the more I admire him. I mean... for real, it’s even funny knowing his quirks. Like he likes to draw stuff, he likes to play the piano, he loves Anime and his favorite anime is Hitman Reborn! (I wonder if he likes Hibari Kyoya too). Anyway aside from his talent, another selling factor of him to me is his positivity towards life.

“Don't worry na krub, all TWILIGHT. No matter what will happen in the future or the situation, we are always TRINITY and we will do better than before krub.” #XXSIVK #PorscheSivakorn

His positivity and his ambition would inspire you to do well and go on no matter how difficult things may be.

Thank you Porsche, you are indeed a good source of a breather in my life. Things have been quite difficult in the Philippines and no matter how much I wanted to take a vacation now, I can’t. Your music makes me smile a lot and at times, I forget my worries when I watch you dance. It’s like watching someone you idolize do what they love to do and give it all with passion makes you motivated as well and keeps you going.

Truth be told, you remind me of one of my favorite persons. He used to be brimming with life. But covid made things difficult for him... well it made things difficult for everyone. I really hope he gets his footing soon.

PS. I might not be able to get to know you in person in this life, but I really wish you success. I will always be watching from afar. :)

I’ll be waiting for your come back again. Thanks a bunch XX :)

#trinity_tnt #trinity #porsche sivakorn #xxsivk #great men academy #in family we trust #Sivakorn Adulsuttikul

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fugandhi · 4 years ago

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Why We Rise (A Meditation on Humanity)

by Adam Kenichi Wekarski

The time has come for me to write about Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy (and why it is the most important cinematic franchise of our time). *Please purchase & view the franchise in it’s entirety prior to reading this independent essay. Spoilers are No Fun for Anyone. SUPPORT The STORYTELLERS*

Although it’s a story derived from a comic book, this is not a movie franchise to be taken lightly (or for granted for that matter). Christopher Nolan’s film, “Memento” was the first work he had accomplished that I had ever seen (back in the Blockbuster days - ahem, VHS RULES!) and it is still spinnin’ my mind after all this time. Christopher Nolan ALWAYS delivers some form of ground-breaking excellence in his work - his ‘Dark Knight’ Franchise is no exception.

When one thinks of Batman, it’s very easy to consider the various forms (literature, animation, cinema, video games, etc) of said character (God Bless You, Adam West! R.I.P., Good Sir!). SO many INCREDIBLE & [BEYOND] TALENTED folks have, not only performed as the character, but have helped in shaping this character’s Monumental & Positive Imprint on contemporary society (worldwide).

I still believe Christian Bale is one of the most under-appreciated performers of our time. I first saw him in the Dark Comedy, “American Psycho” (DUDE! Holy Smack-a-RONi! Totally Bonkers & Viciously frightening). I still can’t believe he did not receive an Academy Award nomination for that performance (for shame, HollyWould). As much as I love Tim Robbins (SHAWSHANK, BaBY!), Christian Bale is one of the greatest actors of all time (100% WITHOUT A DOUBT). He plays Bruce Wayne PERFECTLY (TOTALLY the BEST Bruce Wayne OF ALL TIME! DONE! NO ARGUMENT! END-ALL-BE-ALL..”..Been there, Done that - got the album, Bought the Tee-shirt..NEXT” (Ricky Gervais, The Office [UK]). CHRISTIAN BALE DESERVED AN ACADEMY AWARD FOR “The Dark Knight Rises” - I’M SAYING IT - HE DID SUCH A PERFECT PERFORMANCE in (Yeah ALL Caps) this entire franchise. I need to address that because so many folks seemed to be swept-up in their own distractions as viewers (Yeah we get it, he disguised his voice with a growl - get over it, ya’ll). He seems to be a good person (‘seems’ being the operative word) & I’ve read about his efforts in his life off-screen (You are a Good Man, Sir) when the cameras are not around. I have a belief that it’s good for people to appreciate those ‘moments-of-truth’ more often (just one person’s opinion, take it or leave it).

Speaking of ‘moments-of-truth’ - This story (spanning across three EPIC films) is the ultimate moment-of-truth for Sir Christopher Nolan (Why Not?; He actually is CBE apparently; Respect) and his AMAZING Production TEAM’s collective efforts. So many people put their well-being on the line to make these stories happen (some even, their lives, Rest in Peace) and I believe this franchise deserves ALL of the Success & Recognition & Praise (and honestly, Time) for the awe-inspiring efforts put forth (in regards to cinematic storytelling). This is a franchise for the fans (due to how well it honors the source material & simultaneously manages to elevate the art-form).

Bruce Wayne is one of the most important modern characters of our time. Not since the days of Jesus Christ, himself, has there even been someone who sparked a universal impact (sorry ‘Supes’ - You & Ol’ ‘Batsy’ are Tied in my book) upon average people worldwide. Granted - Bruce Wayne is NO Jesus (there can only be one), however, his life’s journey is a true Test of Faith, which is a universal lesson that I firmly believe Jesus Christ was attempting to spread in his message of good faith towards one another.

Bruce Wayne (played by Christian Bale & Gus Lewis, respectively), as it is now [mostly known], was born an heir to The Wayne Family, an age-old empire in modern society (Gotham City, U.S.A.). In Christopher Nolan’s particular take on this (now-classic) SuperHero story - Reality is the cinematic setting.

“Batman Begins” is Nolan’s homage to Richard Donner’s “Superman”, having been THE standard for comic book movies (since the late 1970’s if I’m not mistaken). Having obviously been a fan of Donner’s work (Gee, who isn’t?) - it’s an obvious source-of-influence for the first installment in Christopher Nolan’s Perfect Epic.

When I had first discovered the news that Christopher Nolan was Warner Bros. Studios’ choice for a brand new Batman reboot - I have to admit I was VERY optimistic. After having seen “Memento”, and his work with that incredible team - I was very, very optimistic that for ONCE the Batman universe was going to be actually depicted like it is in the comic books (at least the ‘80s Batman Comics - Hello Dark & Gritty Vibes). Considering the mental intensity of “Memento” (and how linear-storytelling-need-not-apply) - I was absolutely curious to see how well the story would finally be done on-screen (with all due respect to Tim Burton & Joel Schumacher & All previous efforts achieved in the known story-telling community). After all is said and done, this franchise is a ‘Grand Slam’.

Christopher Nolan’s version of Milton “Bill” Finger’s (Bob Kane took all of the credit for Bill’s work; for shame) story of Bruce Wayne/Batman is the most inspiring work I’ve seen achieved on the concept (and characters) to this day. With the initial tone set in the first film - we find a young Bruce Wayne as a child - simply playing in the Wayne family’s garden with his best (& childhood) friend (and one of the most important characters in the franchise): Rachel Dawes (played by Katie Holmes, Emma Lockhart, and Maggie Gyllenhaal, respectively). Bruce & Rachel establish the innocence of childhood (and of our main protagonist) with the playful phrase, “Finders Keepers” which is followed by young Bruce falling into an old dried-out well (which then traps him into a slight crevice, filled with Bats).

As we discover in this story, the symbol of Batman has a rather deeper meaning to Bruce Wayne than what had been initially expected (unless if you’re a fan of the comics). When the first film starts to take form, we find Bruce Wayne lost in the depths of ‘hell’ as an adult man. Having been an heir to a Family’s Kingdom (so-to-speak), Bruce Wayne had lost his Mother & Father; Martha & Thomas Wayne (SUCH Good People) at a tragically-early age, having their lives taken by a lost soul in the dark of night (a reality known, all-too-well, by our own collective experiences as a contemporary society).

Martha & Thomas Wayne establish the core values that help shape Bruce Wayne as an Individual. Their Leadership, their knowledge, their wisdom, their love (their faith). All of their finest attributes shine a light on how the community - the city of Gotham (and their actions as people) help shape said community. Without their Faith, Bruce Wayne’s immediate world probably wouldn’t have even been established for him (perhaps). It is that faith that is the driving force of this franchise, and the greatest tragedy of this film is, indeed, the blatant & cold-blooded murder of Martha & Thomas Wayne. Ya know, they were really good people in terms of their contributions to their household & community & their lives, and they truly cared about their impact on the world (in a greater sense).

With such care, they made important choices (that had an effect on everyone in Gotham, regardless of outlook). Choices that made a necessary difference in, not only their home, but in their overall world. Gotham may be fictional, but I will let the fantasy play and I will acknowledge the tremendous amount of detail put into these stories that went unnoticed in the initial ‘life’ of this franchise’s release. Having said that - Unless if memory serves inaccurate, this film received a lot of unwarranted criticism for the realistic depiction of modern violence (due to the UNGodly public shooting(s) that have been taking place in our country; I acknowledge the real-life tragedies, but also acknowledge the importance of artistic vision). I say unwarranted due to the fact that Christopher Nolan managed to hold up a mirror and we need to pay close attention (and look beyond the glamour & simulated violence), and this was accomplished well-before Todd Phillips’ incredible film “Joker” had been produced (which drew plenty of inspiration from Nolan’s signature style and Heath Ledger’s actual development of said character; Joker’s Journal).

At the core of this story is Faith.

Faith is what was instilled in Martha & Thomas Wayne (and their lessons with Bruce as a boy). Alfred Pennyworth (played Beautifully by Sir Michael Caine in a Nomination-worthy performance for Best Supporting Actor in my humble opinion) is the reinforcement to protect the Wayne Family’s Honor & Good Name. On the surface, Mr. Pennyworth is Bruce Wayne’s Butler, however, when he’s not maintaining the Wayne fortune, he is ‘the guiding light’ (no pun intended) in Bruce Wayne’s Journey (despite the efforts of various opposition). While Rutger Hauer (rest his soul; “BLIND FURY”!!! YES!) had set the tone for what was to come later in young Bruce Wayne’s life (at the funeral for Martha & Thomas Wayne) - it becomes abundantly clear that Bruce Wayne has quite the journey ahead of him in his life (with plenty of whom have pre-developed plans & agendas to seize Wayne Enterprises for their own gain).

Bruce Wayne, born of a Mother & Father, heir to “the throne” (as it were), and thriving billionaire, one day decides to leave it all behind. It’s a moment of internal crisis for our protagonist due to the severely traumatic act of witnessing the death of his own parents (while almost being murdered himself). I know a lot of people think Kal-El (aka ‘Superman’, aka ‘Clark Kent’) is the end-all be-all of Superheroes (myself included), however, after a retrospective look back at Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy it becomes abundantly clear just how much credit this franchise did NOT receive from the critics & the artistic community (Hi, Academy. I’m lookin’ at ya’ll). Despite the worldwide acclaim, I believe this franchise was well ahead of it’s time in terms of the most important aspect of the entire achievement - The Story.

This is a franchise fully-devoted to the story and that is a significant contributor to the success of this version of Batman. I grew up watching old reruns on TV of Adam West & Burt Ward going around and ‘CLEANING-SOME-CLOCKS’ as it were (POW! ZAM! KLAM! CHOWDAH!), and I always hold that version near-and-dear to my heart because I still think the early 1960’s version of Batman was really fun & really awesome & an absolute delight. Plain & simple. ..Granted - as time continued and the characterization of Bruce Wayne (and his alter-ego “Batman”; His Armor; His Protective Shield) had advanced & developed into a new ground (conceptually-speaking). The core values of who Bruce Wayne is, where he comes from, and Why he does [what he does] did not truly become profoundly-realized for me until I’d say when the Animated series (1990’s! DUDE still one of the best Animated Series I’ve ever seen; like ‘a fine wine of cartoons’). “The Mask of The Phantasm” is still one of the best Batman stories I’ve ever seen - Such an incredible origin story for Bruce Wayne - and definitely one of the best animated, full-length features I had ever seen as a kid (Not to discount Tim Burton’s gothic-induced-dream-like version of the knight’s tale).

With Christopher Nolan’s contribution to the overall storyline of Batman - we truly have a Masterpiece Trilogy before us (as audience members). Nolan’s take on Batman is truly like no other (even surpassing efforts that preceded the franchise) in that he actually provides a glimpse into what it would look like if the fantasy actually became a reality. Christopher Nolan achieves that goal (Ten-fold) with this trilogy.

In the first film - what we know about Batman becomes hyper-realized with the emphasis on Bruce Wayne’s life in modern-day America (Gotham City being the quintessential metropolitan All-American city). An America that has succumbed to an overall tone of darkness & hopelessness (with the reality of tangible corruption & streets of truly deadly conditions) which has reached a pinnacle-of-suffering for the good people of Gotham (and perhaps, rippled outward into the rest of the world).

Jim Gordon (played PERFECTLY by Gary Oldman, one of the finest performing actors ever to be on screen), a symbol of Gotham’s defeated Law Enforcement, patrols the streets of Gotham City each night. Jim Gordon is one of the key individuals that Bruce Wayne reaches out towards (in his pre-Knight regalia) in the first stages of ‘Batman Begins’. Jim Gordon was the person who wrapped the coat around (a young) Bruce Wayne’s shoulders after his parents had been needlessly-murdered right before his very eyes. Jim Gordon was the one who kneeled to Bruce’s level, acknowledged his loss, and gave him that moment of kindness & warmth & honest-to-God decency. He acknowledged Bruce’s sorrow & loss with grace. He gave him a moment of simple human decency & kindness for the sake of kindness itself.

Jim Gordon’s kind gesture is merely a moment in time, which made all the difference for a young kid who just needed someone to simply be there for him. A moment that showed Bruce Wayne that Goodness & Human Decency can & does still exist in the world despite a traumatically-life-changing tragedy. Jim Gordon’s simple, nearly effortless act, is a sign that people Do honor good faith (and people who truly deserve it) and the good Do get rewarded.

I really like the character Bruce Wayne. I think he’s a better character than most that I’ve ever seen, especially since he actually has character. It’s a shame that people can not see beyond the surface to find the deeper meaning of this story. Bruce Wayne’s [incredible] journey takes place all over the world. When we find him in ‘..Begins’, he is locked up in the ominous mountains of Bhutan. His home now a desolate wasteland of an existence due to his loss. His tragedy (despite Jim Gordon’s act of kindness) had lead him astray and brought him across the other part of the world (only to discover what it truly means to suffer in poverty & hunger & pain & strife & darkness without any means of comfort). As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that Bruce’s path is the ‘path-of-most-resistance.’ Rather than succumb to a frivolous, meaningless, and hollow existence - Bruce Wayne took the path rarely taken. He chose his own path, to earn his own personal truth, his own story to be lived & known (and eventually discovered by Gotham City).

When Bruce meets an unusual individual by the name of ‘Ducard’ (aka Ra’s al Ghul; aka Liam Neeson; Also played simultaneously by the honorable Ken Watanabe, respectively) in his own ‘personal hell’, Ducard feeds into Bruce’s fall from the path of grace (and his spiritual confusion). Ra’s al Ghul/Ducard is only interested in one thing: controlling Bruce Wayne. As Ra’s al Ghul is the quintessential ‘Handler’, or ‘Hypnotist’ of Bruce Wayne in the training period for Bruce Wayne’s spiritual journey - it becomes evident with each effort from Wayne that Ra’s al Ghul represents The Devil (aka ‘The Prince of Darkness’, ‘Satan’, ‘Lucifer’; The ‘Shadow Side’ of Saturn; See “Yikes!”; See “YOWZA”; See “Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife”; No Disrespect To The Coven; See Not My Lord; See God Protect Me).

From the moment we first-see Ra’s al Ghul - he is shrouded in darkness - lurking in the shadows within each unseen corner of the world - the proverbial serpent of the shadows (so-to-say). In a manner of speaking, Ra’s al Ghul is merely one of many faces throughout the story that showcase the forces of darkness in this particular cinematic legacy (from the depths of darkness, here to possess the living). Ra’s al Ghul attempts to indoctrinate Bruce Wayne (in Bad Faith) in the Bhutanese abyss; a wasteland for the damned (and where the death of hope thrives amidst the stone-prison-walls). Despite Ra’s al Ghul’s efforts - Bruce Wayne not only proves to be the most-prominent under-study of the cult (while being initiated into a secret society; a clandestine fraternity; a subversive order of assassins following an ancient practice (unknown & unseen by the blissful light of day).

Bruce Wayne’s prominence during his training cycle with ‘The League of Shadows’ (an appropriate title) shows us that he surpasses even Ra’s al Ghul’s expectations: showing how the student becomes the teacher (by upholding an authentic approach to having a Personal Moral Code & Justice & Ethical Values). Bruce Wayne is not only faster, stronger, and smarter than Ra’s al Ghul - Bruce Wayne is also wiser. Due to Wayne’s parents (and his friendships) he truly is ‘the shining example’ of true justice that Ra’s al Ghul has yet to achieve in life (due to his obsessive wrath).

Having destroyed the League of Shadows’ initiation grounds & temple of darkness - Bruce Wayne LITERALLY SAVES RA’S AL GHUL’S LIFE. ‘True Colors’ does not even begin to define such a moment for our protagonist (that’s a true sign of Mercy).

Despite Bruce Wayne saving Ra’s al Ghul’s life, afterwards the dude STILL tries to come back and kill Bruce AND Gotham City (Showing how The Devil has No Mercy for Anything, Anyone, or Anywhere and is just flat-out unwilling to acknowledge when something good actually does happen). Granted, at the end of “Batman Begins” we discover how Martha and Thomas Wayne were murdered as a direct result of Ra’s al Ghul & The League of Shadows (and their hatred for all things Gotham City & Western Civilization). It’s a diabolical reveal that the devil holds nothing sacred in the sanctity of human life. The devil will literally kill an angel after having been saved by said angel. In fact, Bruce Wayne’s own personal brush with death is (tragically) a common concern of not only Alfred, but Lucius Fox (played exquisitely by one Morgan Freeman), a former Board-Member & former colleague of Thomas Wayne (prior to his passing).

Bruce shows us that good people typically make a lot of good friends and have good people looking out for one’s best interest (no matter their walk of life). The most awe-inspiring truth of Bruce Wayne/Batman is that his ‘best interest’ is preserving & honoring the good faith of his community and the people in his life (including his ancestors, mind-you, as well as the herculean guidance of one Alfred Pennyworth). Without friends - life goes nowhere - that’s a universal truth. Bruce Wayne nearly died so many times in this trilogy and I don’t think people appreciate that aspect of these movies. This is an individual who literally put his life on the line to save the soul of the city he loves (wanting nothing other than a good, normal, & happy life). I know people only fixate on ‘the How’, but I think ‘the Why’ is the most important element of Bruce Wayne’s fictional example.

Bruce Wayne (as all of us) exists for a reason. His life (albeit fictional) does have an important purpose in the grand scheme of things (as one puts it).

Of course, this reason is emphasized (more & more) by his best friend, Rachel Dawes (among others). It’s a shame that Katie Holmes did not portray Rachel Dawes in both of the first two films, however, I found it to be very impressive [just] how smoothly Maggie Gyllenhaal performed as the character. It’s one of the rare instances in which a character is portrayed by two different performers who both managed to bring an equal amount of dignity & respect to said character. Katie Holmes & Maggie Gyllenhaal should both be applauded for their contributions & performance(s) as the grown-up portrayal of Rachel Dawes.

Rachel Dawes is the positive-female-influence in Bruce Wayne’s life (complimentary to that of Alfred Pennyworth’s positive-male-influence; or non-gender-specific-neutral-influence? Sure, why not) that is necessary to develop his respect & honor towards women (which is a necessary element of chivalry). Chivalry is not dead in America: The examples set before us can be found within our own real-life society (I shall go into that more later..).

More important than Rachel Dawes’ positive influence on Bruce Wayne is her genuine friendship (since their childhood). Rachel is not interested in taking advantage of Bruce or using him for her own personal gain. Rachel Dawes genuinely cares about Bruce Wayne and how well the quality of his life (as well as the life of the community) have grown. Rachel Dawes shows Bruce what is occurring in the streets of Gotham on a daily basis. Rachel is living, breathing, working, and seeing what has become of Gotham City - a limping giant of a once-prominent-city (Modern-Day America in a nutshell). Rachel Dawes reminds Bruce Wayne of the importance of Good People Taking Ownership of One’s Community. She reminds him that life is not only about one’s own personal pain, but alas, the collective pain of which a community must endure & resolve (as a said community) with good faith; “It’s not about who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.”

In the second act of Nolan’s Cinematic Epic, “The Dark Knight” - Bruce Wayne encounters the tangible result of Newton’s Third Law: for every action there is an equal (or greater) reaction; hence ‘The Joker’ (played enormously by the late Heath Ledger; Rest in Peace).

The Joker is the response to Bruce Wayne’s actions in the first act, and in every way, he is Bruce Wayne’s exact opposite (albeit opposites, their life paths are balancing on the same proverbial axis of existence). Bruce Wayne is a reflection of light while The Joker is a product of darkness (Negative Energy, Pessimism, Hate, Evil, Unhappiness, Pain, Suffering, Misery, Torment, Violence, & Trauma). While Batman is the answer to corrupt forces in Gotham City - The Joker is the reaction to The Bat-Man.

The Joker is the continuation of opposing forces attempting to infiltrate Bruce Wayne’s life & community (as would a specter in the shadows, a spider in the darkest reaches of lunacy; a.k.a. the absence of faith, the inversion of angels; i.e. Demons, Demonic Entities, Dark Deities, etc). The Joker represents everything evil in society - everything sick, everything sad, everything hurt. To The Joker (and the fools before him) - society is an infestation, a plague, a result of toxicity & corruption (especially the light of which darkness cannot fathom). Batman is the antithesis to Joker’s Chaos. Batman is the collective honor & balance of civility & justice & good faith quantified into one symbolic rogue.

Heath Ledger’s performance of Joker was nothing short of awe-inspiring artistry & workmanship (WorkPERSONship?). His passing was a needless tragedy and although his performance garnered him numerous accolades - I wish he did not have to die in order to attain it (It should have been him accepting the award - it should have been him). Without a doubt, an equal to Joaquin Phoenix’s performance (if not Superior) - I still acknowledge Heath Ledger’s ground-breaking performance as a perfect triumph of Acting (although I think the character is absolutely distorted on all accounts; despite Joker’s persuasive wit).

Many people like to compare Joaquin Phoenix & Heath Ledger’s performance(s) as The Joker (folks compare everything in life), and I think both performances stand strongly on equal ground. Total Perfection. No doubt about it - and one kinda goes with the other if you were to align the vision side-by-side. Of course I love me some Jack Nicholson in Tim Burton’s “Batman” - I think he gave an undeniably frightening & charismatic performance just as Ledger & Phoenix (proof of the character’s universal & artistic appeal). Although Heath Ledger’s performance shall always be praised as a definitive milestone in Acting on Film - I still think the character is a twisted f**k (pardon my American).

Not only does Joker attempt to destroy Bruce Wayne’s personal Faith, but also everyone he cares about in his life, and everyone in the entire city of Gotham, USA. The pitiful tragedy of Joker’s existence is the sad truth that he lacks good faith in not only himself, but the people of Gotham, and the one individual who is genuinely trying to make a good difference in the world: Bruce Wayne.

It is a tragedy & a disgrace to humankind that Rachel Dawes & Harvey Dent (played by the Always-Excellent Aaron Eckhart) died in vain (as Thomas & Martha before them). It’s a sin that the Joker did what he did to everyone in Gotham City. It’s unGodly that so many human beings had to lose their lives, needlessly, just because of one individual’s own loss of innocence, and more specific, his loss of personal faith in his life (and in the world, of which, we live). The reason why Joker is dangerous is because he is the quintessential ‘mass shooter.’ He is the terrorist. He is the result of a society that has forgotten him. He is the reason why so many people struggle & suffer in contemporary society - not because he caused it, but because he fed into it - preying on the life force of humanity & destroying the efforts of truly good people who kept striving to save the soul of humanity (within the framework of a struggling eco-system).

If Bruce Wayne did not have friends he would have been dead in the first act of the story - that is a fact. When Dr. Jonathan (Not ‘Frasier’) Crane (aka ‘The Scarecrow’) had attacked Batman (in ‘Begins’) with the weaponized hallucinogens, Bruce Wayne was almost killed. If it was not for Alfred Pennyworth & Lucius Fox, Bruce would have been dead in the streets of Gotham. The consistent importance of Friendship is quite evident when thinking of Bruce Wayne’s network of acquaintances (both in ‘high’ & ‘low’ places) in the city of Gotham. This also applies in the opposite, with Bruce becoming an important (and powerful) friend to certain individuals of Gotham City (in return).

Friendship is a universal quality of humanity that should be cherished & honored. Friendship, like everything, requires effort. Bruce Wayne’s life requires effort even though he is a “billionaire playboy” - he still has struggles just like anyone else, and he shares the struggle with his friends (since they became a sort of surrogate family; more like extended-family; legal & spiritual guardians). Bruce Wayne is a fictional example that no one is free from life’s struggle and life’s personal challenges & lessons (no matter the ‘advantages’ or ‘upbringing’). It’s a sign of brilliance on behalf of the conceptual team behind the vision of The Dark Knight Trilogy. I know a lot of people focus on the action sequences and the drama of the theatrical dance of Light & Dark play out on screen in the form of the Batman & the Joker, but beneath the surface is a sincere sociological & political commentary (and spiritual message).

The Light & The Dark (i.e. Positive & Negative, God & Lucifer, Heaven & Hell, Angels & Demons, the Good & the Bad vibes, The Upward Infinity & The Downward Spiral, etc, etc, etc): it is at the fundamental core of our collective balance of existence; Life as we know it to be. It is my humble understanding that the eternal balance is a necessary process, it requires effort on both sides. Both Light & Dark must cooperate to preserve the equinox-of-existence (just one person’s opinion based off of observation & objective analysis, take it or leave it).

The death of Bruce Wayne’s best friend, Rachel Dawes, was not only a tragedy in Bruce’s life, it was a tragedy for innocence. She was so angelic & kind & giving & honorable & brave - her Faith is what helped Bruce remember his childhood innocence (before he was robbed of said innocence), and her last words (which were concealed from Bruce due to desperate-times-call-for-desperate-measures; see Alfred Pennyworth), she continued to spread the message of Good Faith in Humanity despite the fact that she was needlessly murdered. A defining attribute of Rachel Dawes’ character is one-in-the-same as Martha and Thomas Wayne - the Belief & Faith in Humanity despite the monumental heartache & loss (and yes, trauma & death).

If one recalls the time in the first act when Alfred was bringing Bruce Wayne back from the mountains of Bhutan - Alfred briefly mentions how Bruce Wayne’s ancestors’ tireless efforts to keep their community alive (even at the worst of times) nearly made them bankrupt. It was their tireless dedication (their faith) that paved the way to set a foundation for future generations to prosper (while honoring the efforts of said ancestors). Although their example did not improve Gotham’s economic prosperity overnight, the murder of Martha & Thomas Wayne set the wealthy of Gotham into action (as the story goes).

Bruce Wayne comes from a long lineage of helpers. Helpful People who are Good. People who want to see the best results out of humanity’s efforts (as a whole). People who believe in the power of the individual, and the social end-result of one individual’s tireless faith (and life choices).

Although Bruce Wayne’s ancestors are not the focal point of Batman, they are his bloodline & family’s history which in it’s own right deserves to be honored & respected (I know this is a fictional character, but roll with me here, people HahaHA).

Yes, “The Dark Knight” consists of nothing short of complete Mayhem, and YES, The Joker may make ya pee a little bit (just a little), and maybe even laugh (the writing is pretty damn genius in my humble opinion). I acknowledge that “The Dark Knight” should have been nominated for Best Picture (Double that for “The Dark Knight Rises”), and I acknowledge that Christian Bale should have been nominated for Best Actor his final performance as Bruce Wayne/Batman (I think he was snubbed, but hey I’m not in the Academy, so what do I know, right? HahaHA).

Speaking of “The Dark Knight Rises”, I still believe it’s the best Batman movie of all time. I understand (and have heard) many folks say “The Dark Knight” was a better movie, however, I believe (on the contrary) that not only is the third act of Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece a testament of cinematic storytelling - it is a testament to just how AWESOME we are when we perform at our best. When we work together, we are at our best (as a country, and as a people).

“The Dark Knight Rises”, at it’s core, is a cyclical nod to everything that was established in the first act of the trilogy (a perfect Full Circle), and of course, is the conclusion of Batman. Every lesson in Bruce Wayne’s life, every struggle, every enemy, every friend - every aspect of Bruce Wayne’s life is interwoven with Gotham City (and the people of Gotham) as he & his friends defend Gotham City (and everyone in it). In “The Dark Knight Rises”, Bruce Wayne has become a Hermit; locked away, half man, half mythos, in an air of mystery & fascination (among the ones who still speak of the elusive figure; a fading memory of a silent guardian). And as a hermit, Bruce has become deeply reclusive due to the Joker’s killing spree in Gotham City nearly a decade prior (while exploiting the sick minds & lost souls who stand for nothing [and truly fall for anything]).

While an average person would possibly accept Bruce Wayne’s physically-defeated, emotionally-scarred, and spiritually-damaged condition - Alfred Pennyworth (God Bless ‘em) does what any individual of Good Faith would do - he encourages Bruce. He sees Bruce as a human being, not as a symbol. He cares about Bruce Wayne’s life, his well-being, his overall fulfillment, and Bruce’s personal happiness. He chose to honor the pact he made with Thomas Wayne to protect the family fortune (most importantly, Bruce). Alfred Pennyworth has his own fascinating & rich history from his own backstory (having been a soldier in his younger years). Fact of the matter is, Alfred never stopped being a soldier at heart. He is True Blue; a true man of the cause; a true Englishman, a true American, and overall a true HUMAN BEING. He is a True Believer of preserving all that is sacred & righteous in our world. He is a Saint and he is a blessing (in contrast to Ra’s al Ghul’s curse-like presence; working in Bad Faith; a destructive force; almost the polar opposite of Alfred).

One thing I love about the final film in Nolan’s titanic, artistic, commercial, & cinematic effort is just how well the Production had managed to pull off the third act (having so many characters and SO much exposition) especially considering the factors that most wouldn’t even consider (i.e. Budget, Lights, Sound, Wardrobe, Set Design, making sure everyone’s hitting their marks, making sure all the stunt-work is safe, making sure it’s all coordinated to the “T” - the amount of brain-storming, conceptualization, the marketing, the pre-production, the principal photography, the post-production, etc etc etc). Movies that require so much of the cast & crew do not always work well, but Warner Bros. & Nolan’s Team somehow managed to actually pull it off. They did what no one else could do - they made Batman real. Christian Bale made Bruce Wayne real. He made Bruce Wayne truly Human (even if just for a moment).

In this day & age (with everything that just happened very recently in our very own United States of America) - one could find a jaw-dropping parallel to what happened when ‘Bane’ came to Gotham City (played ferociously by the envelope-pushing Tom Hardy; see “Bronson”, so gnarly) to what had happened to our own U.S. Capitol.

Bane is the darkness (cloaked with brute force) that feeds off of the fear of humanity. Bane is a product of The League of Shadows (with Hardy’s vocal performance being a nod to UK & Ireland Bare-Knuckle-Boxing Champion, Bartley “King of The Gypsies” Gorman), and was actually ex-communicated from the league (so the story goes) by Ra’s al Ghul (himself). Word around the campfire is that Bane is a force of nature (more destructive than known before) and will stop at nothing to ‘fulfill the destiny of Ra’s al Ghul.’ Bane is a result of fringe-Cult-Mind-Control-Indoctrination (a life devoid of pure faith & free-will entirely; typically due to some possible form of sincere trauma and/or loss and governing authority; aka The Darkness).

The legend of Bane is more rumor than fact. He is just as elusive as Batman, and just as evil as Joker (if not more). Bane’s physicality brings Bruce Wayne to his knees in the third act of Nolan’s 3-piece work-of-art, while also providing all of the intellectually-driven rationale (totally psychotic) behind his Madness & Apocalyptic ambitions. Bane is a real-life-threat to Bruce Wayne & Gotham City (and The American Way). Bane represents the overall threat to our way of life (as a humanity). Bane is everything wrong with world leaders & corrupt forces (cultivated into the most toxic physical form); like a deranged & disfigured Churchill who lumbers about (as a lion in a den) in the underground infrastructure of Gotham City’s sewage system (almost as a warped, drug-induced, Shakespearean Emperor). Bane is a deadly force of nature, fueled entirely by the sickness of bad faith; coerced into his own psychosis by probably the most complex & frightening character of the entire series - Talia al Ghul (a.k.a. ‘Miranda Tate’, played unnervingly-well by one Marion Cotillard [the child played by Joey King, respectively]; her performance sends chills up the spine upon numerous viewings).

While introducing Batman & Gotham’s new enemies, some of Bruce’s new friends in the final (and most epic) installment of Christopher Nolan’s Batman storyline are Officer [Robin] John Blake (played exceptionally by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and a Wild-Card-Femme-Fatale character by the name of Selina Kyle (a.k.a. ‘Catwoman’, performed very well by Anne Hathaway). Joseph Gordon-Levitt shines as young Patrol Officer Blake - also having been an orphan, like Bruce Wayne, and a true believer in the purpose of Bruce Wayne (Batman) in Gotham City. Unlike Bruce, however, Robin is not a billionaire & Robin was not born into a life of privilege. Despite his brief backstory, Robin Blake, like Bruce Wayne, has Faith in Humanity. It’s why he puts on the uniform (speculative subtext). He does not have the luxury to become Batman, so just as Jim Gordon does - He works with what is given to him. He applies himself within the structure already established within Gotham (despite the restrictions & limitations of said structures of society). He, like ‘Serpico’ before him (see Al Pacino) is a regular Cop who just wants to do what the Law is supposed to do: To Protect & To Serve the good people of Gotham City.

Selina Kyle, on the other hand, is on a path between The Light & The Dark (on a sort of ‘spiritual tight-rope’ between the two paths). Selina’s life path is one of constant survival and constant running. As a ‘Cat Burglar’, Selina Kyle is a flat-out Crook. Her tough exterior conceals what truly is underneath her mask - a person who, too, has faith in humanity (proof that the ones who wander are not lost). Unfortunately for Bruce Wayne, as previously-mentioned, ‘Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures’ - and Selina Kyle’s desperation put Bruce directly into the hands of Bane & The League of Shadows (at a truly disturbing moment in the film). While forces of The League of Shadows’ (combined with a few of Wayne Enterprises’ own ‘bad seeds’, i.e. Daggett, Stryver, etc) disseminate chaos throughout the plot of “The Dark Knight Rises” (by destroying the city of Gotham and exiling Bruce Wayne across the world into a pit of hell) - all of the friends Bruce Wayne has made start to band together to organize a resistance with the surviving members of local (and once-established) authorities. The honor, the people, the community of Gotham City, and the overall driving spirit - the collective faith of the city (as a whole) had been damn-near destroyed entirely in this film. The resistance was born from those of whom are still faithful to their city and the rights of every individual who resides within.

Between the clandestine operations of Robin & his fellow law enforcement officers (all trapped underneath Gotham due to The League’s devastating terrorist attack), the United States Federal Government (and necessary agencies) & Wayne Enterprises (with ‘Miranda Tate’, Lucius Fox, etc), and the awe-inspiring action-sequences in this grand finale - there is no denial that the final installment of The Dark Knight Trilogy is the most realistic & visceral revolutionary epic set in modern-day America. It’s funny when one stops to think that this was all originally based off of a comic book character published by Detective Comics in the late 1930’s. It’s astonishing to think of just how far this fantasy story has evolved throughout the years.

Bruce Wayne is more than a comic book character. Bruce Wayne is a symbol of humanity. That is his ‘superpower’ - his Humanity. He is more than just a person fighting crime to honor his family’s faith & heritage - he is honoring the faith of humanity as it stands today. After all of the corruption & loss & trauma - Bruce Wayne never lost faith in what we have in life (even after losing so many loved ones and frequently having his own life in harm’s way). As he strives to defeat the darkness of Gotham (by striking fear into the hearts of those who prey upon the fearful), the force of darkness continues to rise to attempt to destroy & defeat The Light (Futility at it’s finest).

The greatest villain of all, Batman’s most incredible threat throughout the entire trilogy is actually Talia Al Ghul (Ra’s al Ghul’s daughter & heir to The League of Shadows; the true leader of the cult). She is the one who almost destroys Gotham City (if it wasn’t for Bruce Wayne and everyone who stepped up to do what was right to defend the city).

Although Talia does not fight Batman physically - she is the only villain who ever slept with Batman & exploited him with complete intimacy (seducing Bruce Wayne in a seemingly romantic moment in the film). Talia (still known as “Miranda” by this point in the story), appears innocent & sweet upon first glance, however with multiple viewings of the film, one begins to understand the disturbing nature of what Miranda/Talia is and is Not saying in Bruce Wayne’s presence (a brief glimmer of her spiritual void). Talia al Ghul truly is Ra’s al Ghul’s daughter and her light has been completely stamped out by the fact that she, not Bane, was the one who came out from the pit of hell (as it is revealed in the climax of this epic conclusion). The Devil lurks in many forms - in this particular case, Talia al Ghul displays the darkness as it exists in feminine form. Marion Cotillard was the most over-looked performance of the series (in my personal opinion) and I think as much as Tom Hardy does not get enough credit for his, at times, somewhat Macbethian performance (albeit not as flamboyant as Joker, but even more deadly) - I believe Talia al Ghul is the greatest threat to Gotham City in this trilogy (sorry, fellas).

While magnifying the character of Talia al Ghul, one must acknowledge her natural ability to be a ‘Wolf-in-Sheep’s-Clothing.’ She is the deadliest threat to Humanity due to her belief in a necessary demise of Gotham (seeing Gotham City as a hotbed of hypocrisy & imperialism). Talia al Ghul has no problem burning the barrel over a few bad apples (if that makes sense). While Talia is the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, she was also simultaneously dictating every strategy for The League of Shadows behind closed doors. She is the ‘Queen’, ‘The Head of The Serpent’, The Leader of ‘The Hive.’ She is the quintessential ‘Wicked Witch’, The ‘Bad Girl’, the ‘Goddess’, Kali, Baphomet, etc etc etc). She is an individual, born into a pit of darkness, and exposed to a potentially-life-shattering amount of trauma (based off of the staggering display of complete psychosis; albeit tremendously stealthy & downplayed under her facade of congeniality).

Talia al Ghul is the mastermind who inherited the crown from Ra’s al Ghul’s ‘throne’ (if that makes sense). She is a product of trauma, suffering, & loneliness, but more importantly, a severely sick individual who needs some serious mental & emotional help (more than Joker & Harley Quinn combined) and is the deadliest foe of all (due to her intellect & internalized rage & female fury & her knowledge of all things Gotham & Bruce Wayne/Batman). Talia al Ghul, like Batman, is a force of nature; especially due to her complete cutthroat tactics and inversion of personal Faith in Humanity. Talia al Ghul initially comes across as a meek & angelic person, responsible for the credibility & success of Wayne Enterprises. Her entire life, however, has been dedicated towards the infiltration of Gotham City, USA, and she is the only character in the film who is truly superior to Bruce Wayne in terms of sheer will-power (He caught up to her in the end though). What saves Bruce Wayne is his network of friends (Alfred, Jim Gordon, Lucius, Robin, Selina, etc), in addition to his mind, body, & spirit (once they attain alignment).

I don’t know what others have said, but I think Robin & Catwoman were actually done brilliantly in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Robin was a pleasant surprise for me as a viewer (truth be told; although I thought Ryan Gosling (GOS!) would have made an amazing Robin in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’; much respect for Joseph Gordon-Levitt), and Selina Kyle/Catwoman is fascinating due to her being the wild card of the last film (that truly helped level the playing-field; Girl-Power).

Catwoman, unlike Batman & Robin, is a big question mark throughout the majority of the last film. Her presence is just as elusive & threatening as Talia’s, however, Catwoman (unlike Talia al Ghul), underneath it all, is a Good Person trapped in a bad situation. That is a common thread in this storyline - Good people being in bad places (i.e. Jim Gordon, Lucius Fox, Rachel Dawes, Harvey Dent, etc). On the flip side of the coin - there are plenty of bad folks in good places amidst Gotham’s corrupt forces (i.e. Dr. Crane/Scarecrow, Carmine Falcone, Judge Faden, Detective Ramirez, Detective Wuertz, etc). It’s a reality known all too well in our modern society.

When one observes the overall arc of Bruce Wayne’s transformational life experiences in Nolan’s Comic Book Epic - I have to reiterate the notion of duality consistently interwoven within each one of these films. Light & Dark - Good & Evil - Positive & Negative - the eternal dance - it is the driving force of this franchise (as Bruce is the quintessential “Light Worker” - not that I’m soliciting ‘New Age’ [or ‘Old Age’ for that matter] ideologies, just a matter-of-saying). Bruce Wayne symbolizes The Light of God found in human form (at the very core and most-primary form of what Natives call, “The Great Spirit”, respectively), of which must seize the day to tame the night. Bruce is the epitome of a Capricorn/Aquarius cusp (Western Astrology/Zodiac) - in full force - bringing the water to those who are thirsty, bringing food to those who are starving, and healing the suffering of a people by means of very serious mental, physical, and Yes, Spiritual Work & Seriously Visionary Goals. Bruce Wayne is the Light while Bane is the Darkness of Humanity (the brute force, the inversion of light); the absence of faith. Although he does indeed have an inherent belief within his bones (and muscles reminiscent of mountains), Bane is still dependent on man-made ideologies & approaches (entirely based in the material world). The League of Shadows are attempting to summon the fires from hell in order to bring the dark prince into Heaven to seize the light (again, futility) to fulfill the devil’s ultimate lie (talk about a God-Complex..Oh me, Oh my) of Superiority (‘Can’t we all just get along?’).

When examining Talia al Ghul’s presence as a double-agent mastermind - her reveal is one of the most important plot twists of the series. Talia being a hidden “mole” within the resistance of Gotham City during The League of Shadows’ Hostile Takeover sets off Martial Law in Gotham - which sparks an uprising in the city that eventually saves Gotham (due to the efforts of a network of people who utilized adaptability & effective methods of coordination & action). Bane is to Batman as Talia is to Catwoman (just as Harvey is to Rachel; Duality; Gemini, Twins). What’s so incredible about Selina Kyle is her purpose in the story as a symbol that people CAN & DO redeem themselves despite having a checkered past (something a good amount of folks have in this day-and-age, myself included). Although the clandestine efforts of Gotham’s resistance had been futile due to the fact that Talia al Ghul was hiding in plain sight (a stroke of genius on the writing), Selina Kyle was the defining individual that tipped the scale in favor for Gotham City (and more importantly, Humanity as a Whole). She had an opportunity to leave Gotham and have a clean slate, but she had a personal moment-of-crisis... That’s because she has a soul, and in her soul, she knows, by faith & intuition, that humanity needed her help (one could speculate). She went back & risked her life (God bless her), which was a full circle nod, of which, echoed the sentiment originally planted within the first film: The moment when Rachel Dawes asked a younger Bruce Wayne, “..What chance does Gotham have if the good people do nothing?” (Edmund Burke; ‘Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents’ [1770], regarding the nepotism of a monarchy).

Talia al Ghul is a highly-complex character (next to Bruce Wayne) in the series due to the potential life she may have lead as an orphan born in the pit of hell (shot in the jaw-dropping landscape of Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India). She is also the most tragic due to the fact that she literally has an opportunity to leave her life of pain & suffering behind to be with Bruce Wayne, but succumbs to the ‘Shadow Side.’ ...You know something is ‘rotten in the state of Denmark’ when she would rather destroy the world than have a ‘happily ever after’ with Bruce Wayne. Her spirit fell back into the proverbial pit of despair & darkness (without ‘The Light’) that she had escaped from (in a metaphoric sense). Bane, like Scarecrow before him, is merely a pawn in the worldwide game of Chess (‘all the world is a stage...’). The tragedy of Talia is that she is someone who was born into darkness and literally had to pay for the sins of her father (as her mother did, tragically).

Talia al Ghul is the most heart-breaking villain of the trilogy simply due to her life being a complete tragedy. One begins to ponder if she had a romantic evening with Bruce Wayne simply because she had felt the cold winter of loneliness for too long, or if she desperately (just for a moment) wanted to be one with God’s Light & a person’s gentle embrace (although I don’t know I might be wrong - she was probably like “Hey, it’s either Scary-Ass Bane or six-pack abs Bruce Wayne. HMMM. Let’s tip the scale on that one - HAhaHa, I digress). Regardless of reasoning - Talia al Ghul’s complexity is probably no match for the intense unhappiness she carries with her. It’s no surprise due to the fact that her mother’s absolutely unGodly demise (so sad) was the catalyst that sparked her mission from Hell (with her hound-of-hell on a leash, aka Bane). As much as I may condemn Talia al Ghul & Bane - I want to reason with them. I want to listen to them and I want to let them know that America is not a bad place, and we are not a bad people. I want to find a common ground, and extend the olive branch (as the saying goes) in order to help heal their pain & misconceptions of Americans and Humanity (as a whole), without having to give my (or anyone else’s) life in the process.

I have a belief that if Talia al Ghul was given a fair & ample opportunity to have a better life in America - she would have taken it (if she had not been so deeply-programmed with hate). I have the understanding & more concrete belief that it is due to her life-long journey of trauma-based-indoctrination as the main culprit as to why she simply won’t cease & desist from committing further acts of wrath upon Humanity. Talia al Ghul could have put just as much effort into the healing as the killing (but she fell back into that spiritual pit). I know why she hates. She hates because she weeps, deep down inside in her soul at night (when no one is around), for her trauma & her unbearable internal pain. She hates because she is repeating the pattern of trauma that may or may not have been applied to her mind, body, and worst of all - her soul. She hates because she had hatred put into her (since being a small, innocent child) and she put that hatred out into the world (a severe lack of comfort, love, care, family, and yes - Faith). Although symbols of lightness, darkness, duality, and representations of sins & faith are all spread across this monumental achievement in film (without having to shove a Cross in someone’s face) - at the very core of this film is, again, the importance of faith in humanity despite our individual & collective tragedies (and shared injustice). The importance of striving, no matter the odds, no matter the pain, no matter how dark the night.

I believe the BEST moment in the entire story was the moment Bruce Wayne climbed out of the pit to save his people. He could have easily died a painful & shameful death in that ancient prison (while watching his city & country being destroyed by an insane fringe cult; a militia of madness; a false liberation). A lot of people seem to overlook just how incredible & truly powerful that moment is in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Tom Conti (a perfect performance of an apathetic mentor-like figure; complimented brilliantly by one Uri Gavriel as the exiled Medical Doctor of a Monarch) & Christian Bale’s overall dynamic in the entire pit sequence was a masterful stroke of storytelling (tying back to the first film, putting Bruce Wayne back where he first began). It’s fascinating to find Bruce Wayne, with a severely-injured body, having to rebuild himself and strengthening his spirit to rise out of the pit of despair - the pit of personal hell, the unforgiving pit of Time (Capricorn; Saturn; Kronos; “The Task-Master”, “The Reaper”; Reward or Punishment; Karma; The Lord of The Rings). The moment of truth comes when Bruce Wayne discovers (through numerous attempts) that it is his spirit that must rise to seize the light - without vanity, without any fancy gadgets, technology, tricks up his sleeve, or any clever contraption (or vehicle) to assist him in the process. This was a moment for Bruce Wayne and Bruce Wayne alone. This is what we call our moment to “Shine” as an individual being... our independent spirit. Bruce Wayne had to learn what it meant to climb out of the pit of hell and abandon his fear (as the child in the legend had done; Talia al Ghul).

The pit can represent many things to many different people. The eye of the beholder truly does apply to this (as well as any) story. For the individual to think & feel for one’s self - and to also believe in one’s self. The pit can be a literal prison - or it could be a wealthy kingdom. I know (from personal experience) the feeling of being at the pit of one’s own existence. I know what it means to be a prisoner trapped in one’s own body (due to unwanted pain & suffering & hidden trauma). I’ve learned the plight of humanity and the experience of suffering in the night (I’m just like everybody else). I have been there. I have known the darkness. I have known what it means to “dance with the devil under the pale moonlight” (as the expression goes). I’ve known what it means to defend the innocent from evil, thrusting myself into danger to save family members from toxic masculinity & extreme violence (since being a little boy). I have known the darkness, which is why I kept searching for my own personal truths & answers (which ended the day I had a near-death experience & literally saw The Light of God; 100% Serious). I have known all of these things, but I also know that the people who put that hurt into me had that same hurt (if not worse) put into them... That’s the paradox of trauma. The original source goes so far back it’s pointless to trace - which is why I look FORWARD in Life. I no longer dwell in the weight of one’s misery & spiritual darkness - I seize the light by choosing a good life (to fulfill my own purpose).

At the risk of my own humiliation & embarrassment (and at the delight of those of whom feel actual glee out of my personal struggles & suffering; God knows who you are), I can acknowledge that I am someone who has lived “in the darkness” before. I have known what it means to suffer and toil without the light of God in my life. I have abandoned my own belief in God before, and my own personal Faith before... it’s not something I am particularly proud of, and although I have survived various life experiences that made me plunge into the pessimistic side of life (having been mentally, physically, and yes - Sexually-Abused in my early childhood) - I reach out (in spirit) to anyone who may be reading my words, who has possibly fallen from the good grace of God (especially due to what has happened in our country). I, too, know what it is to lose faith in God & The True Light (as opposed to the Man-Made light). I know what it’s like to suffer & hate “The Believers” (my trauma came from a so-called “believer”).

You know, stories are more powerful than one may ever think (as well as Family, Friendship, Fun, and Faith). I have lived in my own personal hell before - I have ‘had it all’ and then lost EVERYTHING the following year. I have rebuilt my life SO many times (too many damn times), and I’ve learned one ultimate truth that I MUST share with everyone who is (and will be) alive to read these words...

..There IS A GOD. THERE IS A LIGHT. It may not be visible because we cannot see what lies beyond the veil of existence, but I assure you - Everyone is Alive for a REASON (and Individual Purpose). Women may have the divine gift of giving Life (RESPECT!), but we ALL have the gift of giving LIGHT (each in our own unique way). We all have a way to help heal and put something good into the world, despite our shared pain & trauma, as a people. We all deserve to be happy and have a decent opportunity for a healthy & happy existence (ESPECIALLY with our modern-day world; unless if folks start committing crimes and harming others and whatnot). I believe we are all at our best when we cooperate & coexist with one another (despite our individual differences). The Light does not need to shine out The Darkness just as The Darkness shall never overthrow The Light. We can live in a spiritual Harmony. We do not have to walk the same path. We do not have to share the same spiritual beliefs. I just think we CAN share this world (as I believe we are truly alive in what is known as the Garden of Eden).

We do not have to destroy ourselves to prosper. We can live among one another (with dignity & respect & honor). I’m not always happy to see that people willingly practice certain principles & “values”, but who am I to judge? That’s why God is here... It’s a tough lesson to accept, but it’s true. I should not judge someone just because they worship darkness - because at the end of the day that’s between them and their purpose in life - not mine. I have walked the line, but I never learned from others shouting in my face - I learned from listening & civility & patience & yes - Faith. That’s the purpose of the light - not to drown out the dark, but to work together (as Santa Clause & Krampus do), as a balance of necessary elements that will always be present in our own reality. We, as a contemporary society, have lost touch with the natural way of the world (well, a good amount of folks anyhow). We, as a humanity, have become so vain that we do not even know which way is Up & Down anymore - which way is truly Left & Right. We, as the soul of humanity, have suffered in the darkness for far too long (due to those who wish to control our individual light). We, as a country, MUST help one another climb out of our collective pit of despair - our sociological prison (cultivated through the last aeon), our ‘darkness.’ It has happened before and it can happen again - and to all of my fellow beings of whom shall always carry within us, The Light of Goodness, the love of God, and the wisdom of The Light - I say to thee: RISE.

I give Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy a PERFECT 10 out of 10! The most inspiring superhero franchise of all time (in my opinion). Bruce Wayne & Gotham City show us that Chivalry is NOT dead in The United States of America (despite our challenges). Christopher Nolan’s Cinematic Achievement is victorious in it’s final conclusion: Gotham City IS worth Saving, as our very own Humanity - and Yes - We can all have a better way of life without having to sacrifice our own lives in the process. We can rise to fulfill our individual & collective destiny (as decent human beings) and have, not the life we need, but the one we DESERVE.

*This is dedicated in loving memory to everyone who has lived & died in service of The Light..✝️

“I see a beautiful city... and a brilliant people, rising from this abyss... I see the lives, for which I lay down my life: peaceful, useful, prosperous, and happy... I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendents (generations hence)... It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known...”

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ch27088 · 4 years ago

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Week 3 Personal Blog

Emmanuel Acho is a Fox Sports Analyst, and a host/producer of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man. It’s a web series focused on driving an open, difficult, but ultimately productive conversation on race in America (Dalton, 2020).

Whether the communication between people using technology was successful or unsuccessful in relation to the desired action? Emmanuel Acho decided that he was going to have a YouTube channel where he could video tape his conversations of him and other people discussing race in America. Using this platform has allowed him to reach millions of people all around the world, without him really knowing it. So, was the communication successful, yes. Because of the YouTube platform he was able to reach catch the attention of others.

How the collective action was reported in three different types of mass media; what changed from type to type? First, Emmanuel started with a YouTube channel where he taped interviews of him talking with other people. Once the video went viral, he started receiving calls from famous people all over the country wanting to interview him and talk about his ongoing interviews. His platform just wasn’t YouTube any longer. He was noticed by Oprah Winfrey, who had him on her show, on her cable station. He was also encouraged by Oprah Winfrey to think of writing a book about his interviews and those difficult conversations.

A description of how you personally consume news online and how you first hear of a news story. Since I have a Facebook account, and a couple of local news station apps on my phone, I am also up to date on any breaking news stories. I have “push” notifications set up for the local news station apps, plus a notification push for Facebook. Throughout the day or night, if anything breaking comes on, I get notified immediately. I also watch the news twice a day on the television. I watch first thing in the morning to check the weather, traffic, and anything else going on in my area. Then once I get home at night, I watch to catch up on anything that I might have missed. Being a discerning news consumer in the digital age requires an ability to wade through a torrent of online content to find credible and diverse information from trustworthy sources (Powers, 2019).

A description of how consuming news online differs from reading a newspaper, watching TV, or listening to the radio. Although I prefer to watch the news on television, there are times that I just don’t have time to watch. With a busy schedule, I find that reading the news online is a great way to get caught up, and usually the online news is refreshed and updated throughout the day. I also have several sources to choose from online and they are free. With watching the news on television, I find that the World News is only on once in the evening. So, although I might be getting good and updated information at that time, it’s also late information once the World News is over for the day. I must wait until the next day to hear World News compared to getting updated information sent to my phone. Reading the newspaper was something I looked forward to doing, but not any longer. I don’t want to pay for a subscription when I can get updated information online for free. The newspapers are delivered once a day, usually in the morning. By the time I get home, it’s old news. Receiving information on the radio is really getting old as well. Driving to and from work, I usually listen to an early morning show, and every 15 – 20 minutes I hear a quick update on traffic, weather, and news. However, while driving I do get distracted as I am trying to focus on the road.

A summary of how computer-mediated communication has affected information exchange that considers the following:

What has been lost and gained in the shift away from old media, such as newspapers? Again, with newspapers, it was a hands-on media that had thousands if not, millions of subscribers across the country. Although it was a staple for everyone to receive the news, it was not able to keep up with the changing times of online news. I don’t have to pay to read a news article online. The only way the newspaper business can keep up is with subscriptions and ads, and it’s very costly these days.

How mobile technology has affected your consumption of news? I am constantly receiving notifications throughout the day on my mobile phone. I am updated on severe weather, news stories, and any other information I may need and that can impact my day. I can receive news updates 24/7 with mobile technology. Mobile devices have reformed the newsroom environments by introducing new means to connect with the audience and to communicate with other journalists within the same place (Appiah-Adjei & Jamil).

How not being able to get away from mobile news sources is changing human communication--consider attention spans, boundaries between work and life, and communication that relies on visuals? Talking honestly, I am a little worried about my consumption of news all the time and interacting with human communication. When my husband was alive, we would have dinner together around the table with my daughter. However, when he died in July, I found that I have moved from having dinner at the table to taking a plate with me to my house as I work on school assignments, working on projects from the job, or simply surfing the internet. We talk about children and how they spend too much in screen time, but I also believe that I need to monitor myself, as I spend way too much time in front of the computer, and other mobile devices. I must learn when to put down the “mouse” and tune into what is going on around me.

References

Appiah-Adjei, G., & Jamil, S. (n.d.). Journalism in the era of mobile technology: The changing pattern of news production and the thriving culture of fake news in Pakistan and Ghana. World of Media, pp. 42 - 64. Retrieved from DOAJ.

Powers, E. P. (2019). How Students Access, Filter, and Evaluate Digital News: Choices That Shape What They Consumne and the Implications for News Literacy Education. Journal of Literacy & Technology, 3.

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my-sherlock221b · 5 years ago

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Speak the Truth--not mine, sharing from the link

https://speakthetruthj2.weebly.com/intro--start-here.html

"What we’ll do for each other, how far we’ll go, they’re using that against us"Everything from this site has been taken from the wonderful Speak The Truth on Storify-- HERE

Do you know your J2 history? The story of Jensen and Jared is an epic one. It is at first deceptively simple. But with a wider view, this seemingly small story tells a much larger, more universal one. In that way, it's also an important one. It's one that spans a time of unique change in American culture as social media tools grew, TV became King, fandom ways were integrated into public lexicon, HW powerhouses rose and fell, and a new hope for true equality in Obama's America supplanted the country's long history of intolerance. It's one that showcases how the role of PR can build over time to consume all levels of actors lives, even two guys who first set out to avoid exactly that. It's one that reveals the widening sphere of PR with the advent of social media, celeb blogs, and online fandoms. Fans are no longer immune to being used by PR as tools in the role of creating an illusion and selling an image. Only together in one place do cracks in the veneer and patterns of PR tactics suddenly emerge as the larger picture focuses into sharp view. It's also a story that I hope one day can be told in full by the people who lived it instead of mere spectators who watched from the cheaper seats and speculated from afar. However, human interest pieces begin with a subject. So here it is. I've been a fan of this show for eight long years. As someone with a "librarian mind", I have saved and documented a lot throughout that time, as have others who have helped me along the way. Supernatural, the TV series, I believe, speaks for itself. 160+ episodes have been produced, aired, and immortalized on DVD. However the larger story that encompasses the show, the actors, the crew, the fans, the HW machine, and the subject of its time, remains hidden if not completely erased from documented fan history. Yet it is one that has enraptured many (even those who won't quite publicly admit it). I believe that counts for something. In other fandoms, I am indebted to other fans who came before me who archived events as they occurred for other fans like myself who came along later. As I leave Supernatural fandom for good, I worry that these details, as we observed them, may be lost. There will be other fans, of the show and of the Js, that will come after me. They should know how it went down all those years ago. This here is merely my small act of scrawling on the cave wall of the internet. As far as I know, there exists no complete record of what a J2 fan has experienced in all the years of the show. So what follows is a timeline summarizing the events of all eight years of Supernatural surrounding its two lead co-stars. It's meant to serve as an J2 archive or library, detailing each event with a date, info, pics, tweets, article, links, videos, and quotes. Most of the focus is on J2 and the players around them, but it will cover show changes and larger HW shakeups in later years as it becomes necessary. If a tiny splash of "Time Capsule" feel snuck in, it's because we all have our experiences and sometimes they feel worth telling. There has been an incredible erasure of fan/show history the last couple years, an act that is rather ironic in a fandom built on the concept of urban legends coming to life. In its wake are attempts to rewrite J2 history. There are some people that have worked very hard to make sure this story is as inaccessible as possible to others. They'd rather see it replaced by their own "revisionist" history that best serves their own interests. But this stuff happened. Records of it are out there. Fans experienced it. And in many cases, J2 or other people directly connected to them responded to it. Denying said part of J2 fan history is disingenuous. Believe what you want to believe in the space between, but events that happened have happened. I know some people will not be happy I have put this together. I struggled with the thought myself. Ultimately, I believe their story in between the lines and cracks of this cobbled together timeline is endlessly iconic. It's a story that shouldn't be lost in the dust of internet time. Because its not just them, even though their unique relationship is quite remarkable. It's that their story has something to tell us all. We all have something to learn in the space in between. You read through the cracks of eight years, follow along detail by detail, and it however small allows you to step in their shoes, no matter who you are, or what you originally thought. Just think, how scared does someone have to be, how many pressures must be put on someone from all angles, your advisers, your bosses, your family, your friends, to agree to these measures over time. When an erasure of a genuine human story happens, we all lose. We, ourselves, as a culture lose. Progress loses. (And what are we here for, if not for progress?) That erasure robs us of that example to learn and grow, improve and teach others. Because no one's life is just their own. We all have a part to play in each others' lives. We all have things we can teach and things we can learn. That's never been more true than the global age of the internet. Thus, as someone who has been in a unique position to watch a lot of these events unfold, I couldn't leave fandom in good conscience without leaving this footprint. They say history is written by the winners. Well, that was before the internet. So fair warning, I will use spn_g links in later years. It is impossible to do an exhaustive archive of J2 without it. Like it or not, it's part of J2 fan history and quite an archival resource when so many LJ links have since been deleted. Careful consideration has been given to the source. Priority is given to the most reliable information. Events (e.g. things we've seen with our own eyes pics, videos, quotes, tweets, etc) are all primary, and denoted by a header font and date. All anon ITK ("In-The-Know") info is considered secondary, and only becomes more or less probable depending on how it fits in with the overall timeline. Thus, some events with "more probable" secondhand information, are noted as an addendum by the phrase, "*rumorhasit:". Unsubstantiated gossip has been left out. This archive is done with the utmost respect for both parties. In a way, it is only in the details that the more real human context emerges. This is something lost in the day-to-day celeb gossip and fandom life. It's easier to make snap judgments about an image than about a fully fleshed out person. My hope is that in seeing the totality of their story, readers can find some form of compassion for the subjects at hand. I've taken great pains to make sure that the record that follows is all of public events only. If they've been released on the internet in a public place, and talked about by fans, they are included here. I've written this in a way that I hope can be a resource for all, both for J2 fans who lived it and those who have yet to make sense of the whole story. In the act of putting this together, even I have learned details that I had forgotten or missed. It's almost a decade of details, it's a lot to keep straight, but I hope that in this timeline format, the clearer picture emerges. If it's the first time you're reading this, just take it in stride. But if you're a fan who lived all of this once already, pay special attention to the timing of events and larger patterns. Watch how appearances and big personal news tend to go together with big professional news like movie casting and season renewals. Notice how players like publicists and managers fit into the story along side girlfriends and fiancees and wives. This is how this industry functions, even with a fledgling show on a netlet. It's in this industry that two guys who initially claimed privacy start indulging fans with stories of their personal life. It's in this climate that a TV show built on two actors' chemistry suddenly tampers said chemistry down to nothing in the middle of its seventh season. There are many threads that pop up here, partly why this story is such an important one. Some things are rarely as they appeared at first glance. Other things are exactly how they appeared at first glance. Decide on your own which ones are which. One can look at this as an archive with two distinct parts. The first four years are more a tribute to the little glimpse we got of two guys with an instant bond that captured us all. The next four years are more a testament to how despite an actor's best intentions, HW can still grab you by the shirt collar and suck you dry. Never forget where the real power of any show lies. Not with the people whose creative work you watch every week. It's those at the top. And they are not as "tolerant" or "liberal" as people might like you to believe. The story of J2 is an epic one, but that's not the only reason why it's important. They're also not the first or last to deal with these extreme machinations. As we proceed into 2013, we are reminded over and over again how much our culture has changed since 2005. Since 2008. Even since 2011. How much longer will it take for HW to catch up with the rest of us? I'm indebted to all the fans who helped me in amassing this record, adding their contributions, holding my hand, listening to my complaints, and overall sharing in the J2/Supernatural obsession for good times and bad. This has been simultaneously the easiest and hardest show to be a fan of. But it would have been impossible to follow for eight years if not for the community of amazing people that I shared it with. Some of them may not understand this, many of them will probably not even read this, but I hope that they still know my thanks and appreciation. Schmaultz aside, we've got 8 years of history to get to! So without further ado!

#j2 tinhat #speak the truth

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mrpotatobrown · 6 years ago

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73. DREAMS come true

3... 2... 1... Blast Off! And the drawing’s Done. I’m most of all happy with how fast I doodled it out using Microsoft’s free ‘Notebook’ drawing/writing software on my Tablet, and that’s truly down to the app’s accessibility. Could I have used more powerful sketching software? Yes. Would it have resulted in a better drawing? Probably. But trying to juggle layers in Sketchbook or fight with the insufferable clunkiness of Photoshop is just something I don’t enjoy facing, and so I’ll stick to my quick simple doodles. And I’m happy with that.

Because making it all result oriented can sometimes destroy the enjoyment of the process, (not that I’m saying a result isn’t important, rather the journey is equally crucial) and I openly admit that I sketch away on Notebook because I enjoy it for many of the same reasons I adore writing: It’s the fastest way to get my ideas down.

Throughout my entire childhood, my imagination was fast and fickle, Ideas rushing in faster than I could output them, which resulted in a short attention span on any projects that took longer than, well, a sit-down. And so when a tool pops up that allows me to get ideas down faster, which potentially cuts out that “Photoshop” middleman, it ALWAYS draws my attention, especially if it yields the same high-end results.

But, as a filmmaker who wants to dabble in music, Game design and anything and everything, these tools seldom pop up. Sure, everything’s most certainly become more user-friendly, especially with such game engines like ‘Unity’ and ‘Unreal 4′ now becoming freely accessible, cutting out a lot of Dev. time/hurdles. But these advancements have never articulated in the form of tools that make animating, game design, music and everything in-between feel as intuitive as the sketch I did above on my Tablet or the essay I’m plonking out on my keyboard as we speak (or read).

Until recently, most notably announcements of an upcoming Tool made at the last Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3).

But let us jump back a moment for there’s an origin to this great new tool; an earlier iteration that’s celebrating it’s Ten-year anniversary right now, a birthday I’m personally celebrating with the way it changed games/creativity forever. I know that sounds hyperbole, but trust me when I say this comes from the most Sincere place in my heart, a heart that yearned throughout my entire childhood as I stuck together simple stick men levels in Alien Hominid (Ps2, 2004) or laid out cookie cutter racetracks in RC Revenge Pro (Ps2, 2000) for the game I speak of next brought that childlike wonder back into my heart. I’m speaking of the warm, fuzzy, ambitious and very successful:

Released Ten years ago by Media Molecule (also known as Mm), a small team compiled of such visionaries like Alex Evans and Mark Healy which was founded in 2006*, their first outing on Ps3 from a distance looks like a simple fabric styled platformer. But sown (excuse the pun) deep into the fabric (sorry) of its very roots were creative ideas that grew larger than life.

* 2006 also being the year they released ‘Rag Doll Kung Fu’ which was the first third-party game to be distributed on Steam. Their progressive thinking was there from the start.

The articulation of these ideologies can be best expressed through Mark Healy’s early foray into game development when he programmed titles for the Commodore 64 (Console, 1982, also known as C64). The C64 was the Guinness Record champion for most units sold at 10-17 million units, a record laid to rest with future consoles such as PS2 hitting over 155 Million. Yet, in recent interviews, Mark has spoken of those open source tools that allowed him to create with relative ease, and how as future consoles rolled out into people's homes which ended up selling more and more with each passing generation, that accessibility to create was lost. I mention the word ‘accessibility’ like a broken record because that’s the very word Media Molecule seem to have as their unofficial modus operandi. It’s their very soul!

And it was this very soul that was poured into their 2008 juggernaut, Little Big Planet (Also known as LBP), which was teased far earlier than it’s release (to my impatient frustration); I saw the announcement perhaps a year before, the game post-phoned, but I had a taste of the potential and it was the only thing my heart called out for every day leading up to its release*. Finally, a game that gave me the tools to make my very own games.

* This part was actually true. Extreme? Sure, but I was stuck on an Farm growing up so it was the light in my tunnel.

The Puzzle Platformer’s official slogan was “Play, Create, Share”, basically boiling down to a Gaming Youtube with the tools ready built in. Here’s a cute 10-year-old trailer that best expressed this warm fun collaborative charm and it’s progressive stance on creativity (as well as one of the funkiest Game soundtracks from recent memory). You could make levels with ease, publish, get “views” (in this case, plays) and “likes” (expressed through Hearts) and then surf Mm’s servers to play other's creations. The first worry expressed by Critic’s was that no one would want to make levels, but Youtube as a creative platform was already the monolith of proof that this was not the case; people wanted creative output, and once the game was released with Metacritic scores averaging around 95% the Game sold well and the coMmunity was born.

The creative tools were easy to grasp but hard to master, the layers of ways to utilise them for more complicated contraptions and professionally polished levels took time to learn; fumbling around to mediocre results might draw you to the conclusion that quality couldn’t be obtained, but Mm cleverly put those anxieties to rest by including a campaign that was built exclusively with those very same tools. You had no excuse apart from “lack of practice”, and this pushed the coMmunity to make all kinds of contraptions from Mm’s physics-based engine, including someone building a fully functioning Calculator (the Creator even allowing you to fly around Jet-pack style to see how complicated the mechanisms were; turns out, very).

LBP 2 built on that success, implementing a new refined tool called ‘Logic’ (among other improvements) which was an array of different microchips with simple functions that could be wired together to essentially ‘code’ objects to do your bidding. It was deceptively simple and never bogged down the ease that was at the heart of LBP’s Creative tool-set. The step up between games showed up past ‘peak’ coMmunity created inventions (namely the previously mentioned calculator) as bare-bones in what you could achieve with this new instalment.

I poured hours into these games, playing every LBP sequel; the future iterations were handled well by Sumo Digital (LBP 3) and Tarsier Studios, Double Eleven and XDev (LBP Vita). Mm also produced the Bafta-winning Vita/Ps4 Tearaway which I’m part way through now, enjoying endlessly in an attempt to fill the void till their next highly anticipated game.

For once again they’ve teased a pipeline title which the public await with bated breath; their next instalment in their Creative franchise (and the very reason I’m writing this article) doesn’t just build on their previous efforts of community-based tools but fully realises them. They finally made what I and many others have always wanted, a Gaming engine with the ease of drawing; a level creator that’s as simple as me typing on this keyboard; the true Youtube of gaming:

I love the LBP franchise a whole lot (still play it now), but whatever I built always felt a construct of ‘LBP’; the most approachable expressive tools I’ve ever used still restricted by the 2.5D realm of Sackboy’s recognisably cloth based world, and while you could creatively open up the borders to reveal new perspectives and ways to make games there was always the nagging feeling that you weren’t truly making YOUR game, you were making a game for Mm. This wasn’t their fault, and it’s not like you could point at any other accessible tool to exemplify these faults, because Mm was leading the charge, and still are. But this upcoming release of their new title aptly named Dreams (Beta 2018, full release TBA) shows with ease that Mm doesn’t just continue to lead this push forward, but are doing so with such an extent as to potentially shake up the gaming industry; for you truly are now making YOUR game.

Strong words are easily backed up with results I’ll show further down, but the final hurdle on their next instalment’s success isn’t just the quality or function of the final output (which Mm shows with confidence on their near-weekly streams and collaborations with other gaming developers via Twitch/Youtube) but with how the market will react to it, or if they even will react at all considering a relatively quiet reception in the wake of AAA games like Red Dead 2 and other heavyweights.

But before we discuss that further, speaking of a game like this with mere words doesn’t really do Dreams justice. I’ve watched nearly every video they’ve released across this last year so here are, in my opinion, the videos that best exemplify what their upcoming game/tool has to offer:

Trailer (TGA 2017 Trailer), which is the shortest of the bunch, quickly highlighting the general feel and look of Dreams.

Game Informer’s playthrough of campaign levels, which is fantastically demoed by Veteran Mm founder and C64 programmer Mark Healey.

A run through of fun bite-sized levels made by their team, showing off the astounding variety and how each level flows into the next like a Youtube playlist.

And should you choose to watch only one of these videos, choose this next one; Game Informer’s Rapid-Fire Q sesh (with other Mm Founder Alex Evans), which isn’t just informative but should also be commended as creative and engaging journalism at it’s finest, running at the speed of a scripted TomSka Sketch* (It should be noted that Game Informer has been hitting it out of the park over the last month with their fun and insightful cover of Dreams).

* ’TomSka’: a popular Youtuber, famous for the ASDF Cartoon sketches and his fast and frentic comedic sketches. He’s done much, and with such a consistently recognisable style and tone across all projects it could be argued he’s an auteur, which excites me greatly that Youtube can own such a phrase and that ‘auteur’ could also translate to the users on Dreams (the platform I indulgently want to be referenced coining the term ‘Youtube of Gaming’. I’ll stop saying it when everyone else starts.)

TL;DR to sum up those clips: Dream’s works. Not just in regards to it building on LBP in every conceivable way (especially in being fully 3 dimensional) but also being easier to use, with motion controls utilised to essentially free-mould the level around you, and the jump between creative and playing being even more seamless; I was previously going to link three individual videos, title-ing them ‘PLAY’, ‘CREATE’ and ‘SHARE’ respectively, knowing there are such videos that focus on each aspect out there (shown at this year’s E3), but the Videos linked above demonstrate far clearer how the boundaries between those three different worlds are getting harder and harder to define; less “Play, create, share” and more “placrehare”... which isn’t as catchy but you get the idea.

Above: Picture of the Mm Team taken by Game Informer during their visit.

Everything about this game covers all aspects of game creation, even in terms of building a CV the defines your best skills (Animator, Modeler, Musician etc.) and then allowing you to allocate different roles to different creators (if you so wish). Objects/characters/music/levels etc. can be shared and remixed, creating a library of never-ending stock objects which either help fill in your weaknesses or set up a foundation to build on. Everything is built around a coMmunity which is so heartwarming considering an industry which, much like the film industry, is very clicky and “who you know”.

To prove how Mm appose this, and help highlight their deep-set sincerity, online creators from some of the finest levels on LBP were later hired by Mm to work in their company on future projects based on how well they grasped the tools. Mm recognised them for their talents and allowed these artists to flourish, artists who may have never broken into their dream profession without that much-needed step up.

This harks back to that phrase I’m trying to coin: “A Youtube of Gaming”. Film-making has gotten far more approachable over the last 10 years with equipment becoming progressively more affordable and every PC/MAC coming pre-loaded with editing software. The ability to share with ease online has helped many Video creators land roles in the industry or even create their own*.

* Youtube channels FreddieW (now named Rocketjump) and Corridor Digital (founded by Niko and Sam) springing to mind; their effects driven action/comedic shorts is what made many even consider film-making as an option (they even put out free tutorials/BTS) and their channels frequently collaborate with each other, other channels and even known names (Smosh, Key and Peele, and Jimmy Kimmel to name a few).

And so this is what makes Dreams so special; a chance to lower down the industries’ impenetrable defences and highlight player’s hidden talents with a tool that’s grown beyond ‘making levels for Mm’s games’ and matured (while retaining its essential charm) into a fully fledged game engine*.

* Many of you might think I’m counting eggs before they’ve hatched; understandable, but even if the game came out as a mere shadow of it’s intentions (which at this lately developed stage I doubt considering their showcases), the idea is already there. With VR and motion controls improving across all platforms there will doubtlessly be an imitator who can pick up where they left, improving from their failures. Failures I believe unlikely due to Mm’s track record of achievement and future support (they’re very involved with their CoMmunity, hence why I’ve placed a Mm in every use of the word CoMmunity (not my idea btw, Mm do this themselves)).

But more importantly than this future engine’s apparent depth is it’s accessibility, which cleans the slate of any straight up coding (LBP’s ’Logic’ is still there in spirit), rubs away clunky creation and puts all the tools under one roof with a platform to share and collaborate on. An infinite world of infinite creations that you can join your friends to play, Sofa sharing or online, streaming through playlists or creating, new content or remixed, in infinite combinations with infinite flexibility with an accessibility that has been unheard of until this game/engine.

Above: Front Cover Mm did for Game Informer’s November issue, which was created entirely within Dreams.

Which brings me to why I’m writing this article. I’m not writing extensively of the tools you can use, I’m linking other journalists’ work and mostly speaking of Mm’s past and what their new game could mean; so what’s the function of this? Well, as mentioned earlier, their success on something so CoMmunity led will be based on how the CoMmunity utilise it, which first and foremost means they need a CoMmunity to start with. And as also mentioned earlier, I think the reception for this game is relatively quiet compared to larger AAA games; this feels wrong to me in so many ways, as Dreams with the right support could literally shake up the gaming industry and influx a new wave of creative talent, showcasing an entourage of new ideas; a French New Wave of Games but, well, British (at least in origin). And I want this to be heard. I’m writing this article because I want to support them, in an attempt to build awareness. Because I want them to succeed. For their success will change so much in so many innovative ways.

When I saw all this beautiful creative potential oozing from their E3 trailers earlier this year something inside me changed. It wasn’t a new feeling, not at all, rather a familiar one; one I missed. It was that childlike wonder I had so long ago; that awe and glee when I watched the announcement trailer for LBP; the many days I sat scribbling and doodling on the floor as a child in those long stretched out Summer holidays; those 3 hour long GCSE English Language exams where I would write out whatever story popped into my head (honestly, only exam I ever enjoyed). Those are some of the happiest days of my life: pure unchained creativity with seamless tools.

Finally, those days are returning. Finally, I can be a child once more. And hopefully, so can you <3

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