#i looped this song so much while drawing its all i listened to

[autismsupersoldier]

🎵...'cuz I know a thing or two when it comes to being killed! it may seem a bit painful but at least you get to come back again, and again, and again🎵🎶

image ID in alt text, bonuses under cut

this was the very first draft i made of this drawing. its kind of cute! i even prefer it slightly to the finished piece in certain places... especially liquid ocelot, he looks a lot sneakier here.

some simple colour versions. i like these too

heres where he gets sick, evil, and twisted

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

[blackswan446]

partyisntover.

→ pairing: yan!kth x reader

→ "we could still dance"

→ wc: 1556

→ cws: drugging, kidnapping, slight sexual innuendos

→ notes: this is inspired by one of my favorite songs, specifically the first part "PartyIsntOver", it's by tyler, the creator, and i would recommend listening to (the whole song obviously cus its fire) but specifically PartyIsntOver before/while reading :) enjoy!

parties were like your safe space. it was a strange thing to say, but it was true. for some odd reason, you always felt more at home at a bustling party than your actual house. maybe it was something about the anonymity of parties, how for one night, you could become whoever you wanted, hide the vulnerable parts of yourself within the dim lights and use the alcohol as an excuse if things were to get out of hand.

or perhaps, you just liked the chaos. raised to be a good, studious girl, you didn't get out much for your entire childhood. everything was meticulous, planned out, by-the-book. there was no room for spontaneity, or a new adventure, or even a happy accident. it was nice for a while, having the assurance that nothing would ever go wrong, but after so many years of it, you grew sick of the blandness. it was then, you realized that describing your life as "calm" and "peaceful" was masking the sad reality of it: that your life was dull.

so, the second you left the house, (literally, the minute your parents drove away from your college), you went out and found something to do. that is, you walked into the first random celebration you happened upon while strolling, and you were hooked. now your life revolved around parties, and gatherings, and events, and any excuse to throw on a nice dress and do something fun with new people. and honestly? you wouldn't have it any other way. in a way, it felt as if your inner child was being healed, like you were finally fulfilling the dreams of a little girl who just wanted to have fun.

taehyung, on the other hand, hated parties. he despised the loud music, the drunk people and their sweaty bodies, thrashing around in a closed off space, forming a pit of body odor and bad decisions. not to mention the feeling of social inferiority that he felt when he was there, and the way he just stood around, drinking whatever poison was shoved into his hand by a drunk rando didn't help his case. yet he kept showing up, every single time, he always came back, for one reason.

you.

he couldn't explain it, but the two of you, you completed each other. the yin to his yang. and the two of you, together, would create the perfect balance that you needed, that he needed. hell, just looking at you, his heart was relieved of the negative emotions that came with the social ostracization. like the confidence and happiness that bloomed in your heart was sent to his, traveling by a long, invisible string connecting the two. he knew that it would take work, and the very type of meticulous planning that you grew to hate. he wasn't someone you'd even look at. but he had determination, a drive to achieve lifelong joy, the same type he felt whenever he looked at you.

of course, he had already started by removing the obvious disturbances to fate. he tore them up, burned some of them, dissolved others, and some of them he just buried. it didn't matter where they wound up, as long as they weren't stepping on the string, he didn't care. but they were all gone now, and he could undo the final loop, the one that stopped the string from drawing a straight line from you to him, the one that would finally make things so much clearer. of course, it was a little extreme, but taehyung always took precautions. he couldn't risk the string tangling up again, and how would that happen if there was nothing for it to get caught on?

spying you from across the packed room, you were holding a drink, in your element. somehow, the painful colored lights did wonders for you, the reds and blues giving your skin a purple hue. all he could do was look from the shadows, and wait to catch your eyes. and catch they did, as it was only a few minutes before they met, and with a smirk, approached you.

you could talk later, after all, you'd have all the time in the world to talk and get to know each other after tonight. for now, he just wanted to do what he had to do and get you both out of there. you smiled at him, giving him a shouted greeting. he smiled back and leaned down towards your ear. "the party isn't over yet. want to dance?" he offered, reaching out his hand to lead you to the dance floor.

you nodded, since it was too loud to give him an actual response, and took his hand. he smiled, and weaved through the mass of people holding you tight as he did so. you found yourself in a small corner of the dance floor, away from the large crowd of people in the center. you were surprised at him, since you had seen him around at a few parties, and never saw him dance or even talk to other people. but he wasted no time in grabbing your hips and swaying the both of you along with the music. not that you didn't appreciate his forwardness, you actually enjoyed it, and it didn't take long for you to follow his lead.

"good song, hm?" he asked, leaning down so far that his head was basically in the crook of your neck. you nodded shyly, the heat in your face hopefully being hidden by the colored lights. he gave a short, husky laugh in your ear, as his feet twisted up with yours. "sorry about that, i'm not the best dancer." he apologized. you smirked, turning around to face him. standing up to talk into his ear, you laughed back. "if you're such a bad dancer, then why am i out here with you?" you asked cheekily, smiling as you took a sip of your drink.

what a shame you were facing backwards that whole time. if you weren't, maybe you would've seen the little bag of white powder taehyung dumped into your drink. maybe you could've thrown out the drink, slapped him in the face, and gone home. what a damn shame.

he shrugged his shoulders. "you're taking a chance, i guess." he shouted back, grabbing your waist again and pulling you in closer to him. as your head hit his chest, you felt the room spin violently, too violently to match the level of alcohol you had drank that night. suddenly, the music felt too loud yet muffled and far away. the strobing lights were giving you a migraine, and your legs felt like wet spaghetti.

taehyung picked up on your weakness, right away, almost as if he were expecting it. "woah, okay. have a few too many, princess?" he joked, clasping his arms around you tighter. you shook your head, the idea of forming words and annunciating them too much for you to stomach. he laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "come on, you, let's get you out of here. come on." he told you, reaching his arm under your knees and scooping you off your legs, your drink falling from your limp hands and its contents spilling out onto the floor.

you tried to shake your head more, tell him you were okay, but your movement was too weak as everything in your line of vision began to bleed into one another. he laughed again, as he moved his way through the crowd, you heard the noise of the party fade away, the sound of his voice now amplified in your ears. it was only now that you could hear the darkness in his voice, finally being unveiled as the street lights shined above you.

"god, i can't wait to get you home. we're going to have some fun, aren't we?" he murmured, hands digging further into your legs as he struggled to open the door to his car. that was enough to send you into an adrenaline overdrive, shooting your head up as he laid you gently on the car seats. "huh?!" you sputtered, trying to grab for anything you could to fight back.

"i said, 'your night out is done'. you're drunk, sweetheart, you need to go to sleep, okay? just shut your eyes." he pleaded, standing in between your legs as he stroked your cheek softly. you shook your head, weakly, but you still did it, trying to kick your legs to get him away. he grabbed your calves, stilling the thrashing motions. "stop it. i need to bring you home." he growled, "i'm doing this because i love you."

you looked around helplessly as you struggled to comprehend what he said. "what?" you choked, as he shut the back door and got into the driver's seat. "nothing, princess. just go to sleep. it'll all be good when you wake up, okay?" he comforted, starting the ignition and driving away from the bustling house.

you could feel the strands of consciousness slip out of your hands, and felt yourself falling into the abyss of something deeper than sleep. the last remnants of a thought that you could piece together were ones of panic, and the last thing you could see as your eyes fell shut, was taehyung's glare in the rearview mirror.

[h4wari]

Ayooooo!!! Hello my little leafs, its been a while 💀💀💀💀

Now I got a big girl job so I dont have much time anymore to do my drawings 😔😔😔 butbutbut!! I got something new for yall!!

The amazing, incredible, beautiful, stunning, talented and skilled (that are 2 different qualities!!!) @wayfayrr commissioned me for this piece!!

Its my beautiful baby Modern AU!Tears (TOTK Link) dyeing his hair in a bathroom hehehehehe

I really loved this piece!! Doing all those little details gave me life ong, I just love him so much!!

Also, this is what is playing on his phone

Me and Moss were talking how he would listen this song in loop bc he is head over heels for youuuuu!!! I think its so adorable <333

Thank you once again for commissioning me my love!! I hope you liked it!!

If you would like to commission me or suport my silly little work, here is the link to my Ko-fi!!! You can also commission me through my DMs!!

You can also send me a mssg anytime!! I love to meet new people and make new friends!! My DMs are always open <333

Thank you all for everything!!

Toodlessss 🍃🍃🍃

[solar-sunnyside-up]

Hey, I’m sorry to dump this on ya but your blog gives me a lotta hope and I just wondered if you had anything to say to my current ails- I am but a very anxious teen and I am so scared. I see so many people talking of how the world “Will end in 2040” or how “damn the past was so much better because it was simpler” and I am lowkey starting to believe that. I’ve got a problem with romanticizing a past I wasn’t even a part of and I really don’t want to live in some awful dystopian future and I fear I’ve missed out on so much because of when I was born :( and how come no one can afford basic shit anymore? I don’t wanna have no money at all! I really would like to be happy in the future but with all the bullshit caused by social media and the lack of money it seems bleak. I’m sorry that this is such a negative ask but I am not doing so hot and was hoping you’d have an insight ? Don’t respond if you don’t wanna

Hey ya there sprout 🌱 it can be really tough out there!

Your feelings are valid, so valid in fact that those exact feelings are why Solarpunk as it currently exists is around! We've all been there!

Between the wages of the top 10% of ppl vs everyone else being greater then during the French revolution, the average citizen globally being worse off then when the great depression was happening, climate crisis after crisis, all while consuming endless bits of info both horrifying (ex Politics) and hopeful (ex Social Media activism) it's waaaay too much for anyone to bare alone! Much less constantly! That burden shouldn't be on any of us!! But since it is, I'm here to help at least lighten the load even if temporary.

The best thing to do when we feel like this is to stop. Find 5 minutes to be still. We are fight/flight/fawn creatures and we will only loop in our solutions without actual clear choices if we don't Chill Out. We're mammals our natural state is Chilling Out and Play.

Next, think about how cool the planet is and particularly how cool humans are?

How there's finger flutes on ceilings thousands of years old, smaller then average indicating that parents held their children up to draw on the ceilings.

Think about the invention of looms and spinning fibers! What other creature could do that? Think about the kids that could build Snowmans without aching fingers because of lovingly knit mittens.

We sing like whales do, like birds do, like wolves do, and we do it to share stories and ideas over food! It is the first things babies mimic! We have songs so old we no longer know their origin just that they came from love! We even have songs to herd cattle meaning music transcends just us but bleeds into our relationships with the planet!

That we have play behavior! Just like wolves and foxes and whales and octopus it is so built into our DNA to play its generally how we learn things! This ranges from agriculture (children tossing seeds around, blowing on dandelions!) To chores (parachute games > folding laundry, playing pretend > usually chores/job based) to hunting (tag! Hide and seek!)

Think about our interconnectiveness with the planet too, how we are guided by Honey guides to find abandoned hives to share in the spoils of bread and honey. How Sweetgrass needs us to flourish, how berries and nuts need us to spread across the land, how we fix other animals broken bones and beaks and help them return home when otherwise they wouldn't ever get home.

Now that you can remember we deserve to be here, that you deserve to be here. We can look at the current situation and bare it.

And we do that by doing small things. Jam out and listen to music while picking up litter on your block, go to a library and just hang out or research something you love, make seed Bombs and toss them I to abandoned lots, make silly cartoons. Whatever it is, it will be enough.

The weight of the world isn't ment for the individual no matter how much Capitalism and Elites will try and guilt you over their failures. That weight is ment for collective groups, but your job as a Person is to be happy where you can and to be kind so others can be happy. The last thing that I always keep in my heart is a quote from my fave author Ursula Le Guin:

Hang in there, a brighter tomorrow is gunna happen. I promise 🌻

[bentosandbox]

Lappy fancam animatic blogging/production notes

now that wolfgirlyaoi is out on global its rambling time about my powerpoint presentation

Concept

Originally I wanted to do an (Tex & Lapp) animatic with the boss theme (broken wall/Signore dei Lupi .mp3) ever since the event dropped but I thought 1) by the time I finished anything someone else would have probably already done it first (lol, lmao even) 2) I remembered the song exists and how much i looped it then while listening to the group's new album drop and thought the lyrics fit Lapp a little too well and also doesn't end abruptly like the boss theme + was shorter so yea

initial stickman storyboard where i put down the lyrics with event dialogue/happenings that i felt would fit nicely together > hastily scribble the images that form in my head

storyboards were basically what i wanted to see (same rule as my comics) lol especially if they weren't shown in the event CGs, eg. there's a CG of the truck crashing into the courtroom so I didn't do that but they didn't mention her physical acting in that scene + the song I used has a bow/salute at that exact part in their live choreo with the very similar line so I wanted to do a homage even though-

-I was like it's going to be such a pain to figure out an economical hand twirl and bow but I have to do this I need to transplant the image in my brain onto the screen because official media did not do a—

Honestly still don't know if its a common phrase and action combo because I was having so much trouble finding external references that wasn't just scrubbing the live video over and over anyway

part of the storyboards were 'recycled' from comic drafts I did (of the chocolate scene because ofc) when the event was running on CN

Originally I wanted to draw Lapp feeding Texas for The Girlyaoi Funny but I wanted to reference the plaque you get which is a Creation of Adam reference right but I also saw people saying it's referencing the scene from Silence of the Lambs lol so...peel the layers to your liking!!

(The chocolate flavour choice was from asking my Columbian friends what the worst chocolate flavour they ever tried which was white coconut)

my sorry attempt at colour keys > final spreadsheet to keep track of progress and paste all the dialogue i put in

Art Direction

A bunch of shots/colour schemes are references to Måneskin's stuff or other media tehepero I'll just put a few here

At first I was going to limit red/blue to tex/lapp respectively but since Omertosa is blue I just did away with that rule and lapp gets to have both (and more!) these two colours have pretty obvious emotional readings I think but also

red = self blue = society Siracusa or: red = yaoi & blue = yuri

for the others:

Purple = Alberto/Saluzzo, its not orange like the fruit he keeps holding because see below; I needed the colour for something else LOL Also the Saluzzos are iirc nobility or whatever and they have purple hints in their clothes so I think it was a good fit anyway

Yellow/Orange = Its supposed to be representing the last word in the story which apparently, yostar went with 'Savagery' which is Correct I guess but (laments again about how nuance is lost in localisation because imo savagery has a more derogatory kind of connotation while I think 蛮荒 in context of the story also has a 'nature/untouched by civilisation' side to it) which is why Texas setting the house on fire was not (entirely) red but orange (and it complements the blues both visually and thematically) and it's yellow at the end when they're frolicking(?) in the wilderness lol

(these colour rules don't apply to the penglog shot and technically a few frames like the shot with shocked penance, the one right after and 'im just lappy' because...i forgor my own rules lol)

The greens/teals were just a reference to the shades in the 3DPV I think

The silhouette/general style was inspired from the 3D teaser thing they had at the beginning of the 3.5 anniversary stream and the card suits that I..forgot to move to the other layers which is why only the green one had them (supposed to be 1 per set 💀)

The clash bit is basically the same as the event CG but with a flipped camera/POV sorry for world's worst screenshot lmao. Couldn't imagine the poses in my head so I ended up posing 3d models in CSP pretty good posing practice

These shots got rendered extra because..they were the first frames I started on and I was still figuring out how much to simplify lol

I also posed the chairs shot for some inexplicable reason…my file was lagging so bad

Headcanon part (kind of)

The childhood flashback scene is probably the part I took the most liberties (headcanon) on since it's not explicitly canon like the rest...the sequence/how I connected the scenes itself to fabricate a timeline of her childhood was kind of inspired by some weibo post musing about how (iirc) texas's sweet tooth maybe came from when she was being fostered at casa Saluzzo and Lapp treating her like a pet essentially and giving her a lot of treats since...you know what happened to her actual pet hehe except maybe texas offered her a stick first and then Lappy just reciprocated endlessly because its one of the few 'acts' she knew that wasn't violence haha yeah this section was basically a stealth doujin sorry

It's mentioned that she was brought up as the ideal Siracusan or whatever and she does the cute doodle in the 3DPV so I thought she probably had the Forced Music Lessons as a kid (The music sheets are Bella Ciao and of course)

The bow choreo was the one thing i really wanted to animate but the music sheet segment (based on that one split second shot above) ended up being my favourite part even though compositing the motion was a mini hell on it's own (ended up compiling a long png to scroll by with the red doodles layered over)

Other things

I will never live down my (self-imposed) shame of misspelling the title (I fixed the title on youtube but its why the ending shot in the upload says ZittE e Buoni instead of ZittI e Buoni) don't rush your fancam in 10 days 😔

I didn't look through the entirety of the EN loc but Idk why they had Lappy say 'Then go.' to Texas when it's supposed to be more like 'Let's go.' as in, 'let's go together' as opposed to 'alright off you go to the greyhall alone' lmfao also her saying goodbye forever padre when addio is right there

I don't think I'm insane enough to do another ppt soon but man this pair really makes the 'imagines a whole music video while listening to music' part of my brain go wheee like first it was Starset's Manifest then Signore de Lupi then this and while working on this one i was thinking how Måneskin's Torna A Casa would be another good track

ok ty for reading #GIRLYAOIREAL

[manysmallhands]

Favourite Songs Of 2024: 37 - 29

Nine more today as i settle into a more even pattern, the better to surprise any straggling readers WITH A TOP 10 at the end of the process! Previous entries can be found here and here! Now read on...

37. Confidence Man - I Can’t Lose You

The 90s dance revivalists turned away from big beat this year towards a more explicitly ravey sound and my general take is that it went pretty well? I Can’t Lose You especially is the kind of dance pop that seems to suit their semi ironic take on it all, full of catchy ear worm melodies and warm, good times vibes alongside an eagerness to draw attention to what they’re doing that feels something like performance art.

36. Shakira ft Rauw Alejandro - Cohete 

Didn’t manage to listen to Shakira’s Las Mujeres album much this year but did find myself coming back to this one, a summery Latin pop tune with a looping funk bassline, shimmering guitar and Shakira doing that cute little trill on her voice that will conspire to keep her out of a tax debtors prison yet. I make it sound like it's not that much but I’m rarely happier than when I’m listening to this song, a simple but breathtaking piece of pop music.

35. Bea and her Business - Safety Net

Bea is someone I know little to nothing about but this stood out to me when i heard it on the radio. It’s a sweet but sour chamberpop tune where the plucked strings seem to show off how tightly wound the singer is as she reels off all the reasons her ex has missed the boat. I really like how delicate but pointed it feels, with Bea's witty barbs and smart pop culture references adding some gleeful charm to its bite.

34. Rosé ft Bruno Mars - APT.

What exactly is an APT? We never find out but the repeated monotone of the title is possibly the catchiest chorus of the year, ideal for singing while shaking yr head from side to side and looking a lot like an idiot while yr doing it (nb: I had not seen the video at the initial time of writing but, having done so now, it seems that I’m absolutely in good company). Bruno continues his reemergence with a supporting turn that’s much more fun than any of his own songs but it's Rosé’s goofy charm that carries the day and leaves me in eager anticipation for life beyond Blackpink.

33. Kali Uchis ft Rauw Alejandro - No Hay Ley pt 2

Somehow I never quite found the time to listen to Kali’s album all that much this year - it was far too cold when it first came out, then it all seemed a bit more energetic then I’m ever likely to feel in the summer - but it's a fine piece of work and No Hay Ley pt 2 is one of the best songs on it. There's a languid, liquid feel across both the synth backing and Kali’s swooping vocals, but the reggaeton beat hits like a battering ram throughout and never lets you drift away. 

32. Ariana Grande - True Story

It’s one of the more unassuming tracks on her excellent Eternal Sunshine album but the moody tableau of True Story has just as much to recommend it as any of Ariana’s 2024 hits. The bouncing bassline and impossibly catchy chorus hooks provide a neat counterweight to its narrative of betrayal, with some terrific line deliveries by Ariana - “for fun you like to pray for my demise!” - all adding to the wailing melodrama of it all.

31. Beabadoobee - Take A Bite

Beabadoobee's more American take on her sound took a little time to get used to but it wasn't long before i learned to love the gentle Edie Brickell-isms of Take A Bite . Her newly assumed cowgirl twang and the twisting acoustic chord progressions of the chorus feel like a step in a rockier direction than previous efforts, but one that crucially manages to hang on to her key melodic strengths. While she flexed her songwriting muscles a bit more elsewhere on the excellent “This Is How Tomorrow Moves” album, this simpler variation is perhaps the song of hers that stuck with me longest in 2024.

30. Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us

I am in no mood to try and cram the new album in the hope of finding a song I like better than this one, and besides, are there any others that will generate so much feverish discourse, will upend entire careers, will change the way we look at whole areas of pop music (I’m getting carried away here) like this one did? No, sadly that will not be the case. Listening to it now, what stands out is the quiet, relentless fury of Kendrick’s performance: not that there was any point in the beef where he sounded like he was messing around but by the time Not Like Us happened he’d clearly mastered the themes fuelling his argument - Drake is a prick, he’s (allegedly) a paedophile and (crucially) he’s not a part of their cultural community - and honed them to the sharpness of a well directed rapier, all the better to piece his underpowered rival’s skull.

29. METTE - Bet

METTE never missed a beat this year, continuing apace with the kind of energetic dance pop that turned my head back in 2023. Bet might be her best single yet, powered by an elastic funk bassline that sneakily climbs and winds through the track and a chanted chorus that is remarkably catchy for something where I still don’t really understand what she’s saying - bet-bet ah-bet, you do - it might be? I’d have to look it up tbh. Anyway, regardless of meaning, my fluency in the international language of pop has helped me to get by in such difficult times.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary306

7/21-22/24

sunday - monday

hallo... i need to sleep...

i barely slept yesterday... because of a...medical issue, i guess is the best way to put it. if it keeps up i will explain but it's not terribly new it's just very annoying this time around.

today i finished that song for the contest, here that is:

people seemed to like it, they said it was happy sounding, they're right, it basically is, i named the song that for a reason, usually for the contests i try to go with something rather meaningless, i dunno why, anyway this song feels like it gets close to capturing how i feel when it rains. especially that part in the middle that's super, i dunno, dreamy is not really the right word but it feels distantly shoegaze-y to me. it's also the song having a grindcore moment, definitely, in its own way.

although the way i feel about rain is also a little melancholy, cuz it doesn't last long out here. it's very fleeting except for when it's strong, when it's strong it feels strange and religious.

i did work some more samples into it, barely audible hihat loops on top of the programmed hihats, which are also samples, but they're just single hits arranged. the layers i think being barely perceptible does add a lot to the song, honestly, it adds some pace/cacophony where there was less before, and it doesn't distract, plus they're going into a spring reverb so they're creating a bit more of a sense of space, as well.

anyway, last night, while i couldn't sleep, i did write little...things, i dunno what to call them, tiny pieces of writing though, based on the feel like so blurbs written for each pullip doll. i am currently drawing a doll-thing to put some words next to it, i think i'll finish that tomorrow. this is a good little diversion from music, i think next thing i do with music, i want to practice guitar. we also might go out tomorrow.

today i also listened to the lizzy mercies descloux album press color for the first time. it's very cool, the tracklisting is diff from the og, since i got the version which has a bunch of extra stuff and it messes with the track listing for no reason. that tracklist i think screws with how the album might feel cuz it wasn't much more than pretty cool and way ahead of its time in some ways. but my favorite tracks were the ones she did as rosa yemen, those have been favorites since highschool though.

this one's pretty good though, wonky weirdo disco geetarz:

and what a cover!!

i do really like hearing stuff like this, it's pretty helpful to figure out kind of moves as a dance-y guitar line or idea, how to get to that, i do like all the fast weird stuff they do here especially though, definitely brings to mind arab on radar, and the super duper repetitive bassline.

this kinda thing also brings to mind i should listen to some stuff by bauhaus again, they've got some death disco-y stuff... and then of course... w/ death disco

all timer. i didn't like metal box too much when i first heard it, i still do prefer first issue... i need to revisit it some more but this was such an instant hit for me. the swan lake interpolation is so awesome, and the bassline... it's just one of the best basslines ever.

anyway. i have to sleep, i can't be up too late... and i really did only get 2 hours of sleep last night...

so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lavalampstealer]

Uh I oh HI uh people keep tagging me in games /pos

TY @agent-calivide for the Song Game (is that what its called)! I don’t use Spotify so I cannot do the shuffle thing sadly 😔 however- I will sprinkle my wildly inconsistent music on you nonetheless

I will say, I have had really bad brainrot for the past few months, so these all have a TSP or IEYTD tie-in :]

1. This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory If I were to make an animation of this it would have a winged person running towards the edge of cliff, besting their wings and nearly taking off. Once the drums drop out and the chorus starts, they’re in open air and soaring on an updraft. Once the drums return they’re back on the ground, nighttime this time, running to take off again with the starlight around them, but this time they’re more sure and take off easier. They can do loops in the air and truly soar. During the guitar solo part, they’re skimming the tops of trees and slowly going back towards the ground to do a half running half flying landing and they end up tumbling over and looking up at the moon, smile on their face. I plan to do this sometime, once I figure out how to draw/animate wings, like for a future college project or wip to add to my (albeit empty) portfolio.

2. rises the moon - Liana Flores ok so I’ve had major brainrot for my fic despite it pretty much existing as just a concept in my head and this song. this song is so. its so Handler comforting Phoenix because they are Not Okay after Death Engine

3. RISK, RISK, RISK! - Jhariah No consistency here, but this one is a) a banger and b) reminds me so much of Juniper. Him wanting a change, wanting more, gambling everything he has just to get just a little bit more and “put more behind [his] name”

4. The Lamp Is Low - Laurindo Almeida this is just so Yellow core to me I can’t explain it. Him with a glass of iced scotch in a cozy armchair reading a book with only a nearby lamp as lighting. Also he can’t sit normally /silly

5. Bleached - Video Days good god I’ve listened to this on repeat so many times. So many fictitious scenarios. It just screams Comfort Fic™️, it’s what I put on when I work on Down to Earth

6. Left Bank Two - The Noveltones I’ve accidentally left this on loop while doing homework. Also this is so Sheen core you cant change my mind. no thoughts going on in that head. Paint smears everywhere, little trails down hallways and smudges on door handles and whatnot

7. Notion - The Rare Occasions something about Phoenix looking back on their life and how they don’t just fear death; it’s a game. A window. If they die, oh well, at least they’re guaranteed to go out in a blaze of glory (“I see a window, a limit, to live it, or not at all”). Also them struggling with the weight of being The Phoenix when all they wanted to do was be a secret agent. secret (“Sure it’s a calming notion, perpetual in motion, but it’s not what you signed up for”)

8. Nuestra Canción - Monsieur Periné oh thank god one without a meaning /j its just such an upbeat and silly song !! :] v Cyan core to me, they’re silly like that. Like them and Yellow being on an upbeat walk when they find a flower field and drag him into it. dancing together all goofy bc they have 4 left feet between the two, just having a true day off. no stress. no worry. free from the pressure and able to just be light for a day. Things might not get better, but its the moment that counts

9. Debt Collector - Jhariah GOD I know it doesn’t really fit Cyan but this is such a Phoenix song. Like I see a lot with some kind of criminal background or something from before the EOD, and this just seems like Phoenix running from their past and memories. I will admit, I need to work on Cyan’s backstory, all I have so far is that they were a beginner car mechanic and chronic tinkerer

10. Whose Eye Is It Anyway??? - Jhariah ok this one started as a Phoenix song but now this is just so Broken Juniper to me. Him surviving Rising Phoenix and not even ranting or cursing or pleading with Phoenix, it’s just him venting about how it’s an eye for an eye and he got what he deserved but he didn’t deserve it. “This path of heart attacks is paved with folks who only gave their enemies what they had coming. I don’t know if it’s worth it // I’m reeling from all of the pain, I feel it making me insane” and, “Is it a knife or a lie? Is it in your back? Is it all I need? Is it all I have? Bring me the peace that I need so desperately?” yeah. I could go on but. this would be an essay and I am eepy

Keeping it going!! /nf @purple-to-my-tangerine and @eyesofrhodochrosite hiii hope yall dont mind the pings :]

[londonhalcyon]

hii London! hope you’re doing well <3

7. Have you ever written anything based on personal experience?

17. Free space-- ask anything

reading ch.22&30 of TMW always makes me cry haha…i was wondering if you’ve ever made yourself cry writing a chapter??

Hi! Thanks the ask!

7. Have I ever written anything based on personal experience?

Lily’s Magizoology chapters in “Those Years In Between”! Obviously I didn’t experience those exact scenes, but I drew more heavily on personal experience than I normally do when I write. I used to do 10 hours of marsh sparrow data QA/QC each week when I worked part-time as a wildlife tech in undergrad, so Lily losing her sanity over the handwriting and all the numbers was pretty much just me. The dragon oneshot was based on the time I nearly punched a blacktip shark while feeding stingrays, and the longleaf pine savanna from “In Hot Water” was based on TNC’s Green Swamp, which I’ve visited.

Otherwise, I try to avoid putting my voice blatantly in the narrative. I still draw on the familiar when possible to keep things feeling real and relatable, but that’s more extrapolation than anything else. If I haven’t seen or experienced something I’m attempting to write about, I look it up. Even if I have experienced something, I still look it up. I wrote chapter 33 with a google search of “lake sunsets” open in the next tab almost the entire time.

17. Free space: Have I ever made myself cry while writing a chapter?

Only once so far, and it was chapter 30, hahahaha. Normally I’m okay writing emotionally heavy chapters because I’m separate from the narrative and its narrator. But, while writing this chapter, I listened to this song on a loop for a full hour to hold myself in Lily’s headspace while I captured her voice. It worked a little too well. The lengths we go to for our art, huh?

Thanks again for the ask!

Questions from this ask game.

[fineartsjournal]

213341 Art Studio IIIA ⋆ Week 11 - Back to the Drawing Board

With eyes on the street, I've noticed these small graffiti sculptures showing around town, appearing to be cement shapes mortared to concrete walls.

The approach I've been veering towards with my work has been of free-for-all interaction, and expressing my work through a structural statement might be just what I need.

At work, I came up with Pop Concrète, a square concrete vessel containing an embedded MP3 player, and a headphone outlet. The title a reference to Musique Concrète, the looping mix would contain the same sensibilities, with plunderphonic pop samples so dense that they'd only warrant a brief listen.

The audience interaction with this piece would reflect this, with the block - in later redesign hollowed out brick - being placed on a table, with a chair implying a one-at-a-time listening experience. This would be inspired by the presentation of Em's 'overstimulation' sound collage last year, where audience members would individually come up and listening, the overbearing soundscape being too much to bear for more than a couple seconds at a time.

Likewise, Pop Concrète, its presentation a literal reflection of the sound, would be just as dense; one brief earful and you've already got the full digest - a brick of pop!!

A chat with Bryce made me realise that I could keep further with the times, and bring the subversive distribution element back in with the addition of QR codes. By just pasting these to a brick, and leaving multiple around campus, I'd also be working smarter.

Grabbing hip by the handful, I chose the following songs from the Billboard charts:

Tommy Richman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

Ne-Yo - Closer

The Weeknd - Blinding Lights

Gwen Stefani - Sweet Escape

Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso

Miley Cyrus - Flowers

Benson Boone - Slow It Down

Djo - End of Beginning

Laila! - Like That!

Doja Cat - Paint The Town Red

Billie Eilish - LUNCH

Tyla - Water

SZA - Snooze

Jack Harlow - Lovin on Me

Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls

Maroon 5 - Sugar

Steve Lacy - Bad Habit

Koi Leray - Players

Lay Bankz - Tell Ur Girlfriend

Some I like, some I don't like, I'm painting with as broad a stroke here.

I created a test track sampling Sabrina Carpenter's Espresso, but deleted the file on accident. Just imagine a skipping CD and you'll get the feel.

I also set up a Bandcamp page for the project, which the QR codes would link to.

I put the sampler on the backburner for this one as I was mainly mixing the track on campus via Audacity.

Everything was done by hand. To get a sample sounding extra choppy, I'd cut, loop, reverse, cut again, copy and truncate until the sound was recogniseable only by timbre.

Before long, I had a couple seconds to build upon. The idea would be for a short, track. With something so sonically dense and chock-full of samples, I would be putting all my time into someone only a minute or so in length regardless.

There were so many tracks and small clip edits that I had to split the file project into two parts!

I would import the mixed MP3 file into the program, and then pick up where it left off, allowing for easy editing without breaking my hard drive.

The whole process felt very automatic - keeping my brain stimulated meant having some parts being incomprehensibly complicated, and others being legible, coming up for fresh air with a danceable beat, if so for a couple seconds. I'm happy I took this approach, as it lends itself to a well-flowing listening experience, rather than the audible screams of a dying record player.

After a day's work, I was happy enough to call it. I realized it wasn't a necessity for the piece to loop, but it did anyway. The whole thing was only 1.5 minutes, but hey, Plexure took Oswald a year (At this point, I should give him writing credits).

While I have no doubt that any amount of listening will be small-scale, under the small-but-non-negligible-off-chance that I could be in any legal trouble, I selected the following Creative Commons license for publishing:

I also credited, in alphabetical order, all sampled artists. I spruced up the Bandcamp page, uploaded the file, and BAM. It was done.

Part of it, at least. I still had the whole 'presentation' side of things to get to. I was able to turn the link into a QR Code online, and from there, created a little graphic that I could print out.

I chose to include a little 'player' at the bottom to serve as a visual indicator of the link, song and associated website without being sketchy or vague. I tested the link with my phone, and got to printing.

I then mixed up some glue, and dusted off the bricks for pasting.

I left five bricks in total around campus, all positively slathered in QR codes for all to see. I was initially planning to leave one in a gallery space, but chose to further commit to public interaction/distribution, leaving them alongside places of foot traffic.

As well as outside the music block, because I thought it would be funny.

Come the next day, and inbetween showcases, my rōpū walked by one of the bricks, and we all stopped to give it a scan and a listen.

I thought most people would just save the link for playing in their own time, but instead, a bunch decided to play it all off their phone speakers all at once!

The resulting cacophony was brilliant, the dense sound coming out of tinny phone speakers, layered over itself - I couldn't have asked for a better presentation. And people enjoyed it! Scanned it at their own volition!

I was glad to see the turnaround in sentiment from my previous work, and hopefully, as these concrete bricks sit around campus for the next couple weeks, more passers-by can enjoy it all the same.

[cool-us3r]

Tell me your interests *Blink blonk* :]

guuuuuhhhh at the moment I’ve been in interest purgatory (only having day long hyperfixations besides a few personal projects) but the little interests I’ve had (and some of the overarching ones) aaare:

-writing!!! I’ve loved writing ever since I was a little lad (and not very good at it) I’ve just got a lot of stories to tell and a lot of works I like to edit. I like to think I’m good at critique and storytelling maybe

-My Life the Musical by Maryrose Wood (it’s a book) THIS HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY!!!!! Looping back to writing I’ve been working on rewriting this because it’s genuine insanity but it had so much potential to be great

-Bronies: the Musical (this time an actual musical) it’s all Instagram’s fault really if they didn’t put the song Sad Trombone up then I wouldn’t have started deep diving. It’s like a music lovechild of Rockabye and Be More Chill with the plot of that one Shrek the Musical song (which is to say, let your freak flag fly)

-Vast Error is kind of a reoccurring one that comes back to haunt me every so often (along with its predecessor…) because I like the art and the writing! It’s a bit of an exposition slog sometimes but overall the art is aesthetically pleasing and it’s always a fun reread

-object shows HEAR ME OUT sorry guys I’ve returned to my roots (middle school) because I’ll think for a second and then I’ll blank out and all of a sudden BFDI is playing and I’m drawing objects with limbs like I’m a seventh grader again. Yay!

-video essays, not really a standard interest but I just like watching and writing them what can I say

-theatre!!! Every time I find a new thing to perform in it’s always on my mind for the entire duration of it. (Instrumental music is in the same boat here)

-of Montreal (like the music artist) I have NOT been able to stop listening to their early albums I am SUCH a huge fan they are so whimsical I highly recommend Cherry Peel, The Gay Parade, and Coqueliot Asleep In The Poppies: A Variety of Whimsical Verse

-Gezebelle Gaburgably, also a music artist I couldn’t get them out of my head for WEEKS like I went on a spree and exclusively listened to Gezebelle for a while. Same thing happened with speedcore/gabber (SPECIFICALLY the “furry” speedcore/gabber (femtanyl, mailpup, etc) because DAMN they can make music) last week

-music in general actually I’m such a music fan I love songs and leitmotifs and all the silly things

-Celeste (game) I love a good platformer that I’m super bad at with an underlying transgender message. Hell yeah.

-horror as a genre it captivates me I strive to be a good horror writer one day even if I never publish anything

-news and journalism DESPITE how much I dunk on my journalism class (iykyk) I LOVE news and I love learning about current events and formulating opinions and politics and stuff

-any book I’ve read in the past month that I enjoyed. So like Perks of Being a Wallflower, Read Between the Lines, MLTM (to an extent), and maybe some others. Just NOT Romeo and Juliet I know it’s a play but I HATED it so much I had to read it for a class it made me want to rip my hair out

-obscure media. Don’t go around calling me a quirkster because I say I like obscure things, they just float to me. I’m like that meme of Marge Simpson holding a potato, I just think they’re neat. The way I worded it is also an oversimplification cuz I don’t like it for the obscurity this is just so it lumps everything together so you don’t have to read more because I am a gabber and will not shut up if given the opportunity

Guuuuhhhh sorry this was a lot of yammering on my end

[dirtanddistance]

Squamish50 Reflections

Now that the afterglow of the 50-miler has faded and reality sets back in, I’ve had a moment to reflect on some of the lessons and oddities I encountered during and after the race, and am ready to share them with the internet void (and you, dear reader)!

Appetite woes: A common joke in the running community is the idea of running a lot so you can eat a lot. While I try not to fall into this mindset, I 100% expected to feel pretty famished within 24 hours of finishing a 50 miler. I was surprised to discover that I was wrong, and that it actually took two or three days to really feel hungry again. I panicked during the first day and had to google if this is normal. At least two other people on the internet said it was.

I have no control over the inside of my brain: This is a lesson I should have learned from my 3 prior ultras, which, although they were all 50ks, were all over the spectrum in the mental aspect. I already had experienced that you can do the exact same race twice and have dramatically different experiences despite having trained pretty solidly both times. All of these experiences were conveniently not in my brain when I panicked about 15k into this race and alternated between a steady negotiation with myself about quitting and the song ‘Replay’ by Iyaz on loop in my head.

If you run long enough, your brain will generate thoughts you no longer thought you had access to: see above, having ‘Replay’ stuck in my head for at least 35% of my course time. I had not listened to this song since I was in high school. It does not resemble anything currently on my very carefully curated training playlists. I had meticulously groomed my listening habits during my training runs with an agreeable mixture of Rich Roll podcast episodes and music which I thought would be okay to have stuck in my head during a race. None of this was remotely useful during the actual race. I did not draw on any deep inspiration I may have gleaned from my podcast consumption, and the only thing I accomplished by listening to The 1975 for hours each week was to have a recurring nightmare featuring Matty Healy. Not a singular controversial groovy bop remained in my head to console me as I plodded along. Only Replay by Iyaz, and the specter of giving up and going home.

People will think you’re crazy for not listening to anything during the race: I listened to music, podcasts, or the voices of my friends during literally every training run for this race. I listened to absolutely nothing besides whatever was going on around me during the race. I have never listened to music during a race. My mother thought I was a raving lunatic when I informed her I was not going to listen to anything during the race. Now, was it a good decision to listen to nothing? I think the fact that my brain spontaneously reintroduced me to a total banger of a throwback jam was worth it, but there is always the possibility that I could’ve drowned out the quitter-itis with bops. The fact that I had no bops and still did not quit may deserve a medal of its own, and at minimum gives me a mild air of smugness about my mental game for surviving like it did.

The voice that tells you you’re never doing this again will go away alarmingly fast: I was completely ready to say I was never going to do any race ever again when I crossed the finish line (we can ignore the fact that I was already registered for another race less than two months out from the ultra). I proceeded to register for an 8k in my hometown within the week, and within about two weeks was ready to sign up for at least another 50k in the coming months. I don’t offer much unsolicited advice about ultras, but one thing I do think is really important is to have fun and follow your heart about them. You might have periods where you’re really enthusiastic about running real long, and seasons where there’s just no pull to register for an event. My experience is that listening to that is a really good idea. The drive to get out there again will come back, even if it takes longer than expected, and you’ll have a much better time training when you’re feeling ready to go again than if you are trudging through because you feel like you ‘have to’ do another ultra. The trails will be there waiting when you’re ready, take your time.

Next up: Valley Vertikiller 30k Race Review

[iwtvdramacd18]

Do you listen to any music while you draw? If so what do you usually listen to?

I pretty much listen to music all the time when I'm drawing and its honestly like looping the same 5 songs again and again but these days the most frequent replay song has been the Flower Sun and Rain OP

[jonathankatwhatever]

I was thinking what is there in Speak Now that I’m not seeing, so I took the title song and realized the captivating part is where you draw the resonance between the listener looking at a scene and then being in the scene and having that come back to you. So you make a Triangular. My first thought was actually that it’s why iThings can’t align perfectly with Things: iThings represent perspectives, even a bundle of perspectives because that is an End, while Things have boundaries where 1Space encloses the 0Space of the tObject. That looks either impressive or gibberish. I mean that at the boundary, which we define as the tangible Object, whatever group of perspectives comes in from above mixes across the boundary in the 1Space. This gets a bit hard to grasp, but that is the translation inherent in Dimensional Reduction, the actual processes necessary to translate higher dimensions into ours.

Thus, for example, why we describe photons as Things which contain Objects in the sense they are detected, which is the reduction of process to the level of perception, which sounds really weird (and I hope I’m not veering into someplace wrong), but that reduction enables depth of information with less breakdown. That is, it isn’t encased something that needs to be pulled apart, which is all process.

Touch in 1Space.

I finally was able to watch the video. I can’t make much sense of it, but it speaks to me as when you wake up under a cloud, you go into the 1Space which touches you and me and that transports you into a world in which you are what you are inside you. I forgot you playing in the tub, like it’s you now and you back when. So there’s an enclosure of water defined, which couples to the koi at the End who of course climb the waterfall and become dragons. And him on the screen is projection of the true self, exactly as we’ve been discussing lately.

Just realized my drafts from 2012 and earlier were directly influenced by Speak Now. I even remember that moment when I started focusing on the cadence, which is the z-count from the s-perspective, which is how I identify. And I never realized. I was so focused on thinking about why I didn’t get it that I didn’t see I was getting it by working through the negatives. So when the perfection across layers process hit me, I was able to develop a model based not on belief but on disbelief, by the continuous chasing down of disbelief, across layers of disbeliefs. That’s why they’re called iObjects, after all. This is where a notation exercise is necessary: it’s obvious I mean intangible because belief expresses itself in a chain from intangible to tangible (and in a loop, etc.). So a model of disbelief has to eliminate doubts, which means identitfy as true, and that occurs through Dimensional Reduction, meaning all the counting forms like SBE and fCM define Pathways, and these identify as true to Ends. That means they identify as true to tangible or intangible Ends. Probably need a notation for context here but not right now.

If they identify as true to tangible Ends, then they connect through to tObjects. Thus a tangible End might be a battle among ants. Or as in novels, a moment in time after which everything is altered. Every moment has within it its irrevocability. These tObjects make up Conformal space. A Conformal space is one in which there are 3 basic characters: persistence, consistency, and coherence. Persistence means it continues across whatever analysis period you are looking at, meaning you could say it persists for a few milliseconds or effectively forever, meaning that persistence invokes the Counter for existence and thus the Observer scales up and down with that, meaning Observer links these various Counters of existence together. Consistency is the statement that the Thing within a boundary will express its inner self, and that this segments, meaning the Counter is the depth of expression of the similarity or difference between the inside and the outside. Consistency comes close to coherence, which is defined as that similarity or difference over boundaries. This has the effect of shifting the Counter from external to internal and other way round.

An example: a bad person acts consistently, meaning consistently bad, and acts coherently, meaning these modify each other, and thus segment because they descend in a Triangular from. Think this through: the bad person consistently acts bad by modifying behavior to fit coherently into a larger world. So coherence measures the gap, which means the gap segments. I can see the space getting very complicated as all the pairings that could define such a gap emerge. Like: is the person nuts, a fanatic but not a raving lunatic, what is the person’s context, has the animal been abused, etc. I’m currently seeing videos of abused dogs being killed because it was too much work to fix them. In my head; it’s not something I can turn off.

So, said the detective, it was you all along!

I sometimes laugh at the goofy associations I make in Storyline, but so many of them turn into math that I don’t discard them. One of them hit me a few minutes ago. It came by so fast I started this paragraph, then pushed it to the bottom so I could pick it up when the idea returned: in Storyline from decades ago, ‘the highest z-score ever’. I remember the moment when I saw that, walking away from the Council room, opening up the list of candidates that never were ever going to fit the general strategy group, seeing that, turning around, walking with anger back into the room only to be told that they couldn’t tell me before. I remember watching the table rotate as the different representatives shifted in and out of view. Then I was thinking, I remember driving along Storrow Drive and imitating that tick-tock vocal cadence that wasn’t mechanical but came naturally as a sense arising out of an arrangement. Which of course I attributed to whoever produced the track, when of course it was you shaping it to your ear. I underestimate because iObject.

The method - I have to relax because I kept typing men and it kept correcting to menthol so The menthol meant that the old image of a point expanding to a sphere occurred. I don’t know why I couldn’t see that before. The old image was a point expanding and contracting, and that’s what we’ve described, but with a lot more words and a bunch of drawings and symbols. How does that work? Take an Object, wrap it in what it is Not, meaning the Thing which defines what that Object is Not, which I’ll explain after I let the cat in as: if the Object is Not this Thing, then it’s the other Thing. So is it accurate to say Object is Not or is it better to say Not Thing, which takes us back to the literal first statements written down when we made a roughly rigorous model. Not Thing wins! It’s like the hand called Thing and the intelligence which you can’t see on screen (not going into the Object and thus the actual person).

Hi.

About the cat. He’s feeling a bit betrayed because he’s not being let out until later in the AM. Not after 2 coyotes were in the yard at 6AM, when he’s often outside. His normal reaction is to poop next to my side of the bed, but I’m not the one who lets him out most days. So he doesn’t know what to do. He sulked for a day. Then just now he came in, demanded food, then sniffed at and walked to the door. I really had no choice: I held out the brush and he came trotting over. Got into some deep surface stimulation. Back when he started, he had a few places where his body would resist, but now he’s fully flexible and he loves working his way free from under the brush. That external stimulation to internal response should be tight for cat.

Need a break. Hard to believe we just worked out Conformal Reality as consisting of Conformal Spaces. What is a Conformal Space? Beats me. I’ve been staring at the word for almost a minute and I keep getting it’s a space of Things, not a space of tangible Objects but the space that includes the space in which there are tangible Objects. The cat may help: it’s not that he’s intentionally taking it out on me, but that these are the Pathways which exist for him, same as the way we turn cats into indoor cats by defining their territory as indoors. He just made me add food to a perfectly full bowl. From his perspective, the contract has been altered in a way that he doesn’t like, though he doesn’t think any of those thoughts at all.

So, a Conformal Space is one in which the above attributes apply, which is a way of representing them in existence and process terms. So for example we can argue about whether and to what extent the original Constitution, both the document and the ship, exist, and the processes by which we identify persistence. These are tObjects with rather obvious large iObjects attached. In the ship case, we can then track a process of replacement and thus of mimicry as the ship became a relic. Which means we can describe the ways it persists as a warship or not: has guns, but they’re useless, can’t maneuver, but it’s on the roster and crewed by the Navy.

I need to spend a few hours looking at orders of logic. I don’t know that material except in generalities and I want to be sure my understanding works.

——-

Can I do more now? Not sure. The transitions, the twists and inversions, make sense when approached as solutions to higher dimensional ‘problems’. Gives the concept of references or Easter Eggs their larger meanings. In fact, the meaning of Easter Egg becomes quite a bit clearer, given that it’s a birth, an eruption, a beginning, and it occurs by and through emergence from with its Dimensional Enclosure. I’m seeing a whole lot of video imagery making sense.

I think we’ve managed to locate a way to describe Observer as Counter extracted, meaning along the Counter ideal, along that line drawn through the composition of Irreducibles held over a shared space. That’s even more like Speak Now, closer to the ideas I see there and in the other songs: that there’s an exchange of place and thus of role, including confusions so the places and roles entangle so they can’t be completely pulled apart and organized in the space of the song without imposing an external view, meaning there’s a Counter and an Observer along that line. But what makes this work, and what works in DR and in grid squares, is that these states pend or remain in tension, as Triangular expressions, just as we’ve described over the past few days.

The part that causes doubt is that it’s hard to visualize the Observer line because it’s a composite itself, which means it can flicker through states, can latch on to one perspective and refuse against all evidence to let go, and so on. I can work that out some more, can’t I? Pathways within D4-3Space, if that’s the right notation. The issue isn’t Pathways, but the idea that Pathways connect intangibles, meaning intangible Things and iObjects, which then have some relation to tangible Things and tObjects. So, is that best described as D4-3 or something else? I’m using D4-3 because that orients the perspective of the Pathways as occurring between D3-4 and the Dimensional Enclosure, which itself is a grid squares composite (and a whole complicated lot more). So maybe Pathways within the Dimensional Enclosure, mapped over D4-3Space. That works better.

[piecksz]

prove it | (m)

pairings: modern!jean kirstein x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw, mirror sex, penetrative sex, saliva, fingering, finger sucking, handjob, slight mentions of breeding, explicit language

words: 3k+

summary: your jealousy sparks a bitter argument between you and jean, but he shows in more ways than one, that you’re the only person he’s infatuated with. 

a/n: as always, if you wanna fully immerse yourself in the smut hehe you can listen to the songs i looped incessantly while writing: girls need love too by summer walker and excitement by trippie redd and PARTYNEXTDOOR (you cannot tell me that jean wouldn’t listen to either he’s so sexy omg pls free me from my brainrot)

You gripped the fabric of your dress, hiking it up above your ankles to make sure the material didn’t get caught under the sharp heels of your shoes while you stormed into the house. Seething with outrage, you swung the front door shut behind you, savoring the few seconds of solitude you had before Jean trailed behind you clamorously.

“I already told you, and I’m telling you—again—I didn’t know she was going to be there!” Jean was insistent, his footfall demanding on your tail as he followed you into the kitchen. His fingers were carelessly twined in his hair, an overt demonstration of his stress.

You hastily tossed your purse onto the counter, paying no mind to the way it slid across the granite and almost toppled over its edge onto the floor. “Bullshit Jean. It was your fucking event, how did you not know she was gonna be there?” You spared him an irate glance, it was the first time you’d looked at him since the two of you left the venue.

The entire ride home, Jean had attempted to make conversation, asking you if you’d enjoyed yourself and trying to solicit your opinion on how he’d done coordinating his company’s milestone event. Following the successful closing of a large venture deal and the expansion of the corporation, his boss had entrusted him to organize a company soirée to celebrate, and if Jean’s event had managed to go off without a hitch, a possible promotion was in the cards for him. However, much to Jean’s confusion you were quiet in your responses, mainly giving one word answers and little praise.

After relentless prodding, you snapped, admitting you were irritated after seeing Jean talking to Mikasa, an old coworker and friend of his. You’d disappeared for only a moment to use the bathroom, but when you returned, the two were engrossed in what seemed like interesting chatter. Seeing the way Jean laughed after everything she said prompted the agitation in your lower stomach to boil up into your throat. Nothing was that funny.

“Maybe I overlooked her name on the guest list.” Jean’s fingers left his hair and wrapped around his tie, tugging to loosen it.

“Oh, you sure looked over her while you two were talking and laughing.” You stood on your toes to grab a mug from the cabinet before slamming its wooden door shut. “What was so funny? The fact that you used to fawn over her like an idiot?”

You shuffled back over to the sink, flipping the faucet and watching as the mug filled with water before bringing the cup to your lips to take a long drink. You sighed as the liquid quenched your dry throat, raw from yelling. You peered over the top of the mug at Jean, eyes following him as he made his way over to the selection of hard liquor against the kitchen wall.

“There you go. Name calling like a fucking child.” He poured himself a generous glass of booze, chuckling wryly and taking a sip.

You pulled the mug away from your mouth. “You—are so—,” you started, but your words disbanded into a loud and frustrated groan.

“I’m so what?” Jean swirled the auburn liquid around in his glass, pretending to look more interested in the way it moved than in the conversation you two were having.

“You don’t want me to finish that sentence, Jean. You really don’t.” You set your cup down loudly, so forcefully it might have shattered with just another ounce of force. “Stop acting like I’m overreacting. You know I’m not the jealous type, you fucking know that. I wouldn’t care, but you know you guys have history together.”

“Yeah, history means that it was in the past,” Jean retorted. “It was in the fucking past.”

You leaned forward on the counter, dipping your head low as if to question the validity of your boyfriend’s reply. “You’re telling me you’d be okay seeing me with an old flame?” You laughed humourlessly.  “You complained for ten minutes after a waiter called me sweetheart.”

Jean took another long sip, then exhaled. “Because he clearly couldn’t tell the difference between horny and hospitality. Now you’re blaming me because you couldn’t see that?”

You nodded sardonically, a disbelieving smile shadowing on your lips while you reached behind your neck to unclasp your necklace. “And how’s that any different from this?”

“Mikasa never liked me back, what’s the problem? Did you just pick a topic out of a hat to bitch about?” Jean downed the rest of his alcohol, and then returned the short glass to the display. He wiped at his lips with his thumb and started back toward the kitchen.

“Fuck you, Jean.”

He let out a low chuckle while he rounded the length of the counter, sauntering in long strides until he was behind you with his large hands planted on the curve of your hips. He dipped his head, letting his mouth ghost by your ear. “You know, you’re kind of hot when you’re mad.” His palms began roaming, first gliding across your stomach before moving to your backside and cupping your ass in the curve of his hand. “Especially in that dress. You look really fucking good, baby.”

You barely cracked a smile. “Yeah?”

Jean’s low voice rumbled against your back. “Hell yeah.”

You turned around to face him, gazing up at him from behind sultry lids. “Then how about…,” you started, teasing him by fiddling around with the loose buttons on his shirt. “You sleep dreaming about all the things you wish you could do to me tonight. Because you’re not getting any.” Your seductive expression fell, and you pushed him backwards so you could slide out of the space between his body and the counter.

As you retired into your bedroom, you heard Jean’s weary voice echo from outside. “You’re cold.”

“Good,” you responded back resoundingly. “Maybe Mikasa’s free.”

“Maybe she is!” he retaliated, and although he wasn’t in front of you, you could nearly see the way he rolled his eyes at your spiteful jab.

You rolled your eyes back. “Shitforbrains.”

You removed your earrings, throwing them onto the dresser with your necklace before slipping out of your heels and stepping out of your dress. You struggled to make haste, trying to get ready for bed as quickly as you could before Jean entered the bedroom and had a chance to say anything that would incite another feud. Lazy and clad in your undergarments, you hauled yourself into the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror lethargically while you brushed your teeth and removed your makeup with halfhearted effort.

“Do I need to prove it to you?”

You removed the cold wipe from your lids, opening your eyes and watching as Jean wandered into the bathroom. He continued walking until he met you at the sink, and he wrapped his long arms around your frame again.

“Come here,” he said, pulling you into him until the space between your bodies waned. You gave him an unamused glare through your reflection in the mirror, and resumed rubbing away at your persistent eyeliner.

“Should I mark up that pretty neck of yours?” Jean nestled his face into the curve of your neck, pressing messy, carnal kisses along the side of your throat until his lips met the dip underneath your jawline. He lightly brushed over it, knowing it was your sweet spot. Every time he wanted to turn you into a frenzy of moans, that spot was the easiest way he knew how.

“Or maybe I should have you carry our child.” His hands were hot against your stomach, the soft pad of his finger drawing a delicate circle around your navel. You were glad it didn’t tickle enough to make you laugh.

“You’re pissing me off,” you said, simply.

Jean released a husky groan that vibrated against the hollow of your throat. “You’re turning me on.” He hummed. “You feel that?”

You did. Against your ass, you could feel the prominence of Jean’s hardened cock through his pants, digging eagerly into your backside, and he did nothing but continue to fuel his lust by rubbing his erection against you.

“You’re the only one that can get me hard like this,” he strained, grunting at the discomfort in his briefs.

“Look how pretty you are.” Jean took your chin in his hand and prompted you to look at yourself in the mirror. He hovered over your shoulder and looked on, like he was only spectating. “Do you think anyone compares to you?”

His eyebrows creased while amber eyes fixated on your skeptical face. After a lack of response, he jerked your chin, forcing your attention back to yourself. “Answer me.”

“No,” you said quickly.

“Exactly. Good answer.” Jean’s thumb swept gently across your chin while he withdrew his hand.

Your timid eyes drifted over to him, observing as he slid two digits into his mouth, glazing them generously with saliva before lolling his tongue and pulling his fingers out. A thick string of spit lingered until his hand dipped and slid itself into your underwear.

You choked back a desperate cry once you felt Jean part your folds, using his wet fingers to pet the sensitive swell of your clit. Instinctively, you wrapped a sweaty, tremulous hand around his wrist, but it did nothing to quell his painfully tender ministrations.

“Jean,” you murmured. Your voice was breathy, just barely above a whisper while you gave in and rolled your hips against his hand. “Fuck, wait—Jean—”

“I love the way you say my name.” He placed his free hand on your breast. His fingers hooked onto the delicate fabric of your bra and tugged the material down, freeing your nipple. “Say it louder.”

“Jean,” you mewled loudly as he began flicking the hardening peak of your chest with a ginger touch. His movements were delicate and sensual, as though he wanted to kindle an impatient desire within you.

Jean’s fingers continued to rub slow, tortured circles into your clit and he eased into you every few seconds to make sure he was keeping his fingers slick. Once he heard your whimpers begin to ebb, he would stop and switch the direction of his motion, sending you into another flurry of moans and taking pleasure in the filthy-wet mess he was creating in your panties. “Louder.”

You bit your lip and closed your eyes until the darkness of your eyelids melted into white heat. The familiar torrent of quivers shook your body, and the surface of your skin tingled with the onset of your orgasm. You dug your nails into Jean’s forearm, and in the haze of your high you forgot about all of your concerns.  

“Jean!” You cried his name again, your wail echoing off of the bathroom walls while you writhed against his hold. You moved restlessly, looking for absolutely anything to cling to in an attempt to steady yourself until your climax subsided.

After you came to and regained your soundness, you scrutinized yourself in the mirror through misty tears, chagrined at how easily you’d submitted to him. You were situated limply in Jean’s arms, bottom lip swollen from persistent biting in your best efforts to veil how good he was truly making you feel, but from the sickeningly-smug simper on his face it was obvious that now Jean knew his fingers were more fruitful than an apology. Which meant this episode surely wouldn’t be the last of its kind.

He slotted his fingers into his mouth for the last time, sucking the silken coat of your arousal off of them before releasing them with a quiet pop, then Jean’s other hand crept up your neck until his thumb drove itself to part your closed lips, just wide enough so he could stick his lubricous fingers inside.

“Mhm,” he encouraged, nodding at the way you meekly looked to him for direction.

Jean’s fingers were warm and sloppy in your mouth as you sucked and he watched you intently, undoubtedly wishing that his cock could receive the same treatment. He sighed heavily as you wreathed your hot tongue around his knuckles.

“Good girl,” he breathed, pulling his digits from your jaws before his urge to stick them down your throat and watched as you gagged through tears became insatiable.

Jean worked one hand against his belt, unbuckling it skillfully before impatiently forgoing his buttons and tugging on his zipper instead. His breathing grew labored while you watched from the mirror as he shuffled behind you, and you canted yourself to the side to provide yourself with a clear view of Jean’s cock in the surface’s reflection.

His thick length pulsated, convulsing even without contact, and every time it did so, a fresh stream of precum dribbled from the swollen, red crown of his tip. With a light hand, Jean tapped his cock against the side of your thigh, prompting you to take him in your palm, and when you obeyed, it elicited a lengthy groan from him.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

You weighed his hot and heavy cock in your hand before beginning to move slowly, flicking your wrist and evoking the jerking of Jean’s hips when you did. His head hung forward and loose strands of his neatly tucked hair billowed around his face while he watched as your hand worked against his throbbing heat.

Jean delivered another set of kisses to your neck, kissing along your jawline until he stopped at the corner of your mouth to take a brief second to acknowledge his own pleasure. “Shit,” he grunted, his fleshly pants now becoming uncontrollable. “Okay, that’s enough.”

You loosened your grip around Jean’s cock while he curled his fingers around the cloth of your thin underwear, pulling it down until he stopped midway past your thighs, then his large hand settled between your shoulder blades to bend you over.

His palm collided with the pert curve of your ass, delivering a mild spank, and then he ghosted his touch over the stinging pain, blithely enjoying the way you whimpered his name ever so quietly. Jean positioned himself at your dripping entrance, prodding the tight hole with his tip over and over again just to taunt you until you glowered uncomfortably at him through the mirror.

“Stop it,” you heaved, your longing now turning into an unbearable itch.

Normally, you knew Jean would have loved to tease you, disregarding your begging and instead working even harder to rouse you, but you could tell by the sweat that beaded around his hairline that he needed relief too. So Jean spared you, grip tightening on your hips, and he pushed himself into you with a husky and guttural moan that overwhelmed your delicate whines.

He wasted no time and began moving, gradually picking up his pace until he decided on a moderate speed, not too rough, but just forceful enough that your breasts jounced and your body lurched against the sink whenever he thrusted into you.

“I always tell you how good you feel, do you need to hear it again?” Jean murmured, watching as his cock disappeared inside you and whenever he pulled back to rock his hips forward again, it glistened with a new layer of your arousal. “Your pretty pussy always takes me so well.”

He leaned into you, wrapping an arm around your waist and placing his hand on your shoulder, holding you in place while he fucked himself into you, over and over again. You tugged at Jean from deep inside your well, tightening your walls around his cock and causing his jaw to go slack with bliss.

“The way you fucking milk me, I could cum right now.” His balls slapped ceaselessly against your skin, and the sound of two sweaty bodies married together saturated the thick sex-tainted air. You struggled to watch yourself in the mirror, mouth wide open and eyes bloodshot from your tiredness and tears. Jean’s lips brushed against the shell of your ear and sent a ripple of goosebumps down the expanse of your back.

“I wish I could take a picture of you right now and keep it for later.” He panted into your ear. “You’re the only thing I can think of when I jerk off, it would be nice to have a visual.” When you said nothing he smiled, tugging at the softness of your lobe with his teeth. “Maybe next time, yeah?”

You could only give a weak and disoriented nod, and when you felt Jean’s cock twitch inside you, coupled with the way his muscles tensed underneath his skin, you knew he was close. You wrapped your hands around the arm curved about your waist and nodded at him again, cueing that you wanted to feel his release inside you.

Jean arched an eyebrow, his thrusts becoming sloppier, but he made no efforts to slow his cadence. “Yeah, you’re gonna let me cum inside you?”

You nodded silently for a third time.

Jean delivered a few more generous jerks before the small of his back tightened and he came inside you, amply flooding your chafed walls with his hot seed until you overflowed, and the creamy, white liquid seeped past the girth of his cock and began dribbling down the inside of your thigh.

Jean pulled his now limp cock out, wiping his essence gently on your folds before pulling you into another doting embrace. His clinch was tight, warm cheeks pressed against each other while he looked at you in the mirror with complete and unadulterated adoration.

“I love you,” he affirmed before flipping you over in his arms to face him. He bent down to press a salty and clammy kiss to your mouth, his lips stalling for a few moments longer before he pulled away and then delivered another kiss to your forehead. “Alright, stupid?”

You bobbed your head briefly, now embarrassed at your earlier outburst. You sunk into Jean’s torso, head against his chest, and mumbled sheepishly. “I love you too.”

The two of you stood together, arms encircling each other until Jean carefully broke his caress and began tugging you in the direction of the shower.

“Come on baby.” He grinned. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”