#i looked up a few wikipedia pages and called it because this stuff is COMPLICATED dfjgkldh

[ingolds]

LANGUAGE

     primary. theo learned latin as a toddler, as that was the language spoken by ancient romans. he is fully fluent, but since it’s a dead language and is limited by its scope, they don’t make a habit of speaking it. they may do so as a party trick, or to converse with someone who has studied it and wants to try it out. because werewolves age slowly, the window to learn languages is a lot wider than it is for humans - which gave theo the ability to learn italian and spanish in tandem when they branched from latin in the 14th century and the 13th century, respectively. the languages were first used in the arts, and by authors, and theo took the time to learn them from what they could get their hands on. their aptitude for war was valued more highly than their interest in learning and experience, but that didn’t stop them from utilizing their breaks to seek out knowledge.

     secondary. they didn’t learn english until much later in life, in the 19th century. this was after they emerged from hiding in the forests of europe and took their chances overseas. they joined the millions of other immigrants completing the journey, and picking up another means to communicate seemed the smartest option. therefore, they chose english, with roots in german and latin. the differences gave them some trouble, but they’ve had 200 years to work on perfecting their linguistic abilities.

     today. their english is accented, though their latin, italian, and spanish are not, given how similar those languages are to each other. unless someone happened to study linguistics or has an idea of what spoken latin sounds like ( which, in reality, nobody does ), they would have an extremely difficult time identifying theo’s first language / where they’re from. more than likely, they would somewhat correctly assume he’s from italy - since he was born there. it just happened to be ~1900 years before the country developed into what it is today. if they wanted, they could work on training the latin inflection out of their voice - but it is the one sentimentality he allows himself, since he’s worked to separate himself from essentially every other reminder of who he is and where he’s from.

[milokissa707]

Weak 1 wttt/wttsh headcanon post, this one’s about Louisiana by a local.

Louisiana and Maine got in a small scrap when they first met because of lobsters. At first Louisiana said it was a large Crawfish(if he actually thought it was one or he was just messing around is up to you) and then it devolved into the time old argument of how to say Crawfish. I’m telling you, somebody who is born and raised in the state of Louisiana, that Carw-Fish, not Crayfish, but crawdad is accepted. Anyways, there are other things that they have gotten into arguments about due to the difference of the French.

Louisiana points to a raccoon: Oooo, un chaoui! (a raccoon, Louisiana French)

Maine, absolutely confused, so he switches to English: What did you just say? Why are you pointing to that raccoon?

For those who do not know Louisiana French has basically compiled West African Spanish, and indigenous American languages, and just kind of threw them together very violently.

-

He’s Louisiana Creole (this also includes Cajuns if you didn’t know, there used to not be a real big distinction between the two, it’s a complicated thing).

A small historical thing for you

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louisiana_Creole_people

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creoles_of_color

The term Créole was originally used by the Louisiana French to distinguish people born in Louisiana from those born elsewhere, thus drawing a distinction between Old-World Europeans and Africans from their Creole descendants born in the New World. The word is not a racial label and does not imply mixed racial origins—people of any race can and have identified as Louisiana Creoles.

This is one of the older definitions of the creole identity. It has been shunned and forcibly erased because of racism specifically from White Creoles and the americanization of Louisiana from Anglo-American ideals. Racism is a very big problem and I wish that I could shake people and maybe even kill a few. We must acknowledge the discrimination and segregation of people of colour(of all backgrounds) in Louisiana and throughout its history. Also let’s not forget the colonization of indigenous groups done by the US, France, Spain,and Creoles. We must not forget the disgusting and horrible actions we have done and must take actions to mend these deplorable and horrific things we have done! “ But blah blah nonsense that is just racism” shut the fuck up I will kill you, I can kill the alligator I can kill you. Anyways, this is also my small reminder that we should not focussed on just the Cajun identity and just stops teaching fucking Parisian French in our schools and that we should focus on our own stuff not whatever the fuck Paris is doing.

-

He is definitely a Creole of colour, he’s specifically a Gens de couleur libres (free persons of color) if you want to learn more about this look at the Creole of colour Wikipedia page,you can try to fight me on this I WILL WIN🙂! He was also a grands habitants (a Creole aristocrat, aka this boy got MONEY). I actually think he still has a lot of the money but chose to live more down to earth and rarely, if at all, uses it. Because to be honest, a good amount of us in Louisiana are poor. Anyways, thank God for Mississippi.

-

We know from canon that he uses CajVE(Cajun Vernacular English), no that’s not just a “Louisiana accent”. I mean he does have a Louisiana accent, but what most people think is a “Louisiana accent” is just CajVE. If you can see I am a bit annoyed by this whole thing (not at Ben he is giving us amazing representation). Most of the time you see this done badly(CRIMINAL MINDS😡) by having a character from NoLa using CajVE when NoLa has its own Vernacular English(sometimes called the Yat accent, to me it is closer to a NYC accent). Like are there people in NoLa that use CajVE, yes of course, but if you’re character’s hole family has lived in NoLa since the beginning of colonization why in hell are they using a different vernacular dialect of English. Sorry about that tangent but anyway we have multiple Vernacular English, mostly because of the Americanization of Louisiana. He also can probably speak all of the little variations of Louisiana French.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louisiana_Creole

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cajun_English

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Orleans_English

-

I think he has long hair, but not really long, probably around his shoulders. If you have been anywhere in the deep south it is hot and humid and even when I lived there I was impressed about people who have long and thick hair, bro like are you ok? Look, just give him Lafayette’s hair from Hamilton and yeah you should get it.

-

I am torn between if he is just a Catholic who practices Voodoo, or if he just practices Hoodoo.But honestly, that doesn’t really matter when it comes up to this next part. He still definitely has a name that follows Catholic tradition. For those who don’t know you are supposed to have at least one part of your name that is also a Saint’s name. I think he would be named after Hubert of Liege (said like A-Bert though, because French and like the patron st of hunting… and rabies), but there are like so many st so yeah. That would probably be his middle name. For his first I really like any name like Lou, Loui, Louis because well it fits and I actually know like 7 people named something along those lines. For his last name probably Landry, Fontenot, Guidry, Boudreaux. I kind of want to throw magnolia in there, maybe it’s Latin clasificacion. I know it says that he practises voodoo, this is a headcannon so yeet!

-

He’s either psychic, or he can talk to ghosts, maybe even both. I’m not religious by any means, but the whole state of Louisiana is haunted.  I lived in the suburbs and I lived relatively close(less than a mile) away from some families personal graveyard. Even in my little small town, you could find places that almost everybody could agree upon that “Yeah, somethings a little bit off there”. I’m not saying this in a bad way, not completely at least, it’s just what it is. Like I said, I’m not religious (not anymore) nor am I particularly a spiritual person(even though, yeah, I’m a pagan). When I tell you, I have seen shit that I cannot explain by science that I’ve heard shit from people that I cannot explain by science. I tell you the entire state of Louisiana, maybe not the north but at least the south is haunted as hell I’m not joking. It’s important to our culture to. A lot of people here(the majority of the state population) is Catholic and our saints and ghost stories are very important to us. You don’t have to believe in the supernatural. I don’t even know if I fully do, but I can admit to you when I have seen things that I cannot explain.  If you’re interesting about what I saw in with my experience have been super ask. 

-

I think he probably use and practises with tarot cards. It might shock you that even still a lot of people in Louisiana both people who are solely Catholic and people who practice voodoo use tarot. I associate tarot with my home. I was taught by my grandmother when I was younger, remember her teaching me all the cards in their meaning . Some of my dearest memories of New Orleans is walking around the French quarter in front of  The St. Louis Cathedral (even more reasons I wish to call this man Louis) and gazing into the crystal balls, tarot cards, and crystals booths lined up in front of the cathedral. Maybe it’s because of my very strong connection to it but I cannot imagine Louisiana not doing it at least once in his life. It always shocked a lot of people especially ones who are not Catholic when I tell them that Louisiana has a strong history with Tarot. 

-

Turn on my ideas for Cryptid Louisiana, it’s more specifically local stuff comparative to giant bird alligator monster.

Rougarou- I grew up on stories of this, I remember my Ma (my great grandmother, who was born in I think 1920 and spotted French and had scars from when her teacher would hit her for speaking French instead of English) tell me stories of naughty little Catholics getting eaten alive. Rougarou it’s like a weird dog, werewolf, I’ve heard alligator thrown in there sometime creature that comes and get you if you’re bad. It’s never really specified how one becomes a Rougarou or how they transform(or even if they do at all) but unlike werewolves, they are not limited to being transformed under the full moon. Hell they’re not even limited to it being night.  it’s probably one of the most well-known folklores out of Louisiana, stinking rolling and even supernatural have mentioned, and had episodes about it. Sold 6/10, probably only that high because of nostalgia.

1 New Site thing 

2 Wikipedia 

Vampire- I don’t remember who made the art of it I know someone has, yeah vampires. Shockingly we have them if you watch the origins, you probably know that. This also links back to a good story about one of our favourite vampires! 8/10

 Ghost- nothing one specific just a GHOST ! 4/10

Honey island swamp monster- I’m gonna be very blunt here. I don’t like this one and the next one I’m gonna talk about is in my opinion is better than this, but I digress. I don’t like Bigfoot but sometimes he’s also like part alligator. Eh 4/10 next one’s better

Letiche!- Boys I finally get to talk about it, this is the original OG honey island swamp monster. A combination of Cajun-Creole and Native American folklore this shit fit him this shit is my favourite creature that we have. Sometimes it’s described as the soul of an illegitimate unbaptized infant, or a human child raised by alligators. This monster haunts the swamps of Louisiana and capsizes boat(or just messing with them) or attacking people. 10/10

“There are two different origin stories for this monster. The first, more commonly accepted theory is that Letiche are the souls of unbaptized children who have passed away, cursed to linger in the unforgiving swamps and bring havoc to the area. The second story has roots in Native American mythology. The legend goes that a child was taken by swamp alligators and raised as one of their own. Over time, the Letiche developed the qualities of an alligator. So while he may still maintain some features of a man, such as walking upright and having human hands and feet, his life in the swamps among the alligators has caused him to develop many reptillian characteristics. This includes a green hued hide, not unlike that of an alligator, and of course, a set of sharp, lethal teeth”

the artis

If you wish to read more folktales from Louisiana, here you go, here’s some links, you can usually function from here

Jean Lafitte

Abita Mystery House in Abita Springs, Louisiana

Bonnie and Clyde Gas Station in Gibsland, Louisiana

Feu Follet

Jones–Liddell feud

Gris-gris (if you were wondering what he meant by that)

Marie Laveau, I don’t even truly need to link stuff for her or you can just look her up. You could buy books about her. 

Chicken Chase

I do hope you enjoyed my borderline deranged rambling about my state, feel free to use this for whatever! I very much encourage (I’m begging you) to make fanfiction and Fanart of this.

[ectonurites]

Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on

Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3 

this is basically just me going like

Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.

But to start: let’s backtrack!

Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:

(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)

(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)

Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.

In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)

Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.

But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.

But then a few pages later we got this:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.

I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.

He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy. 

But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3. 

So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.

I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.

But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.

But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!

I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.

So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original. 

Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.

For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0 

Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)

Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.

(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)

With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.

Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷‍♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.

There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.

BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)

Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that. 

Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷‍♂️

SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.

ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.

(Superboy (1994) #35)

Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?

(Superboy (1994) #87)

Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!

If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before. 

Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.

Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3

(Teen Titans (2003) #99)

All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian) 

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’

One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.

Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted. 

Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:

I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process. 

(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)

Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.

(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)

It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.

(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)

In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.

To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)

Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:

(Action Comics (2016) #1028)

ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.

If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3 

[drink-n-watch]

Another week, another brand-new episode of Psycho Pass. I’m going to hold back and be all mysterious and stuff. Because that’s how I do. I definitely don’t blurt out exactly how I feel about a show in the very first line of every post and then there’s no point in reading the rest. Nuh-huh. No siree. I gots some restraint! Who do you take me for! So instead, Matt, how are you enjoying season 3 so far. It may just be 3 episodes in but as they are double length, it’s now longer than most movies!

Oh, so does that mean it’s my turn to blurt out my thoughts in a single sentence? Okay, um, err, this show is still as consistently excellent as I thought it was based on the previous two episodes! Oh no, I hope I’ll have something to write for the rest of the review now!

Is that so? Fascinating. I can see how you would think and/or feel that way! (I write my part first… I have no clue what Matt said at this point…

So let’s get right into it. First I just a few general comments on my part. I enjoy high stakes corruption stories and although that’s also what season 1 was, the fact that this allows us to look into the public face of Sybil a bit more, through the device of gubernatorial elections is a great angle in my opinion. Diving into what has to be extremely complex and unique politics of a Sybil controlled society has so much potential.

I had to look up what “gubernatorial” meant (we don’t have anything like that in Australia, so forgive my ignorance), but yes I think politics and the world of ‘Psycho Pass’ is a perfect fit. 

I mean what powers do politicians even hold in such circumstances. Are elections largely a population suppression tactics. Something to keep the masses happy? If so, why are they so incredibly high stakes. Seems ridiculous to be going through all this for what amounts to a reality show (which might explain why both candidates are entertainers). So much potential!

What do you think?

I mean, if I know anything about politics and people its that ambitious people will always be ambitious and wanting to be ‘the best’ regardless of the world they live in–so even if politics amount to nothing more than a popularity contest without any real power or ability to change anything outside of Sybil’s system–people are still going to strive for that, people are going to kill for that even. We’ve seen time and time again in the real world that people do extreme things to get what they want, even if to ‘outsiders’ their goals seem ridiculous or pointless.

 Yakusuji really surprised me as a character this week. For a second there I thought they were going with a “bad guy is bad” sort of characterization but then it all took a very sharp right turn! I still don’t know if his character is sincere or if it’s all a big act. Either way, I didn’t expect it and I like it! Maybe it’s my suspicious nature that leads me to think he’s less than sincere but Psycho Pass did teach me not to trust anyone!

He’s definitely an interesting character but the way his character ties into Enforcer Todoroki’s subplot makes for a compelling bit of character development. As for whether he’s ‘on the level’ I don’t buy it…

I did find the assault scene a bit blunt. Not as in too brutal (mind you I thought it was hilarious that someone could kick a skull in so hard as to actually make it explode!) but just a little too straight forward. At least that’s what I thought as I was watching it. In hindsight though, if this was a political machination and not just the random terrorist attack they are making it out to be on the surface, then this type of direct and flamboyant assault is exactly what would be the most effective!

Yeah I took it to be that they were being intentionally flashy, down to the attackers wearing the same clothes, I found it to be a very intimidating scene.

How does anyone in this universe manage to keep their hue clear? I was only watching those little holo assistant thingies pop up for a few minutes (like the old Clippy office assistant) and I already felt my urge to murder rise. I wouldn’t last a day if I had to deal with those things and keep my thoughts in check!

I loved the idea of someone being physically assaulted and then a little pop-up comes up warning them that they were receiving injuries in-line with someone being assaulted, it’s that kind of AI assistant mentality that makes me hate AI assistants like ‘Alexa’ and ‘Siri’ all the more (but that’s a rant for another day).

As our heroes were chasing the attackers down, we got some surprising bit of universe building and musing on the dual nature of justice and law. One of my very favourite lines from the first season was said in a similar context. As Akane was chasing down criminals she said something to the effect that there’s a misconception that laws are there to protect people but it’s really up to people to protect the laws. I love that idea. It really epitomized Akane’s character and the fact that that’s what’s going through her mind in a high-pressure situation was just perfect.

We got something similar this week with Arata capping off a chase explaining that even in a Sybil controlled society it is imperative to exercise human judgement “that’s why dominators have triggers”. It’s a great line! And one that solidifies Arata’s devotion to ideals rather than establishments.

I’m glad you brought it up, that line really stood out to me too, the importance of the human aspect in an (at times) inhumane system.

Matt, you mentioned last week that you felt the writers of Psycho Pass season 3 had gotten around to reading old US news, it seems that they’ve moved on to more recent fare as the general depiction of the mudslinging politics does seem very familiar to what has been happening not too far south from my own home in the past few years!

Immigration’s a tricky thing, ain’t it?

Although, aside from the winky topical references, it does make a lot of sense that a society as portrayed in Psycho Pass would be particularly xenophobic. To be honest, I was really surprised they even had large scale immigration. I figured the country would have been largely sealed off!

So far, the themes of racial/cultural tension are handled a little naively and way too simplified for my tastes. However, I do realize that with everything going on in this narrative, you got to take some shortcuts.

I suppose there’s still time for a more nuanced discussion on immigration from this show, I imagine someone like you Irina, an immigrant yourself, would have a lot more to say on the subject than most people?

What did you think of Haruki Enomyia? I’m asking cause I have no clue what to make of them.

Difficult to say, for a second I thought they might be setting them up as a bigger villain for this story but I think they’re probably going to end up just another pawn in the bigger game being played. I think they were more just here to give us an idea of what kind of life Kazumichi had in the slums before joining the force. Though I think him just walking around the town with Arata did that well enough.

Am I the only one who noticed all the food in this episode? Maybe I was just hungry, but everything looked delicious!

C’mon Irina, all anime food looks delicious!

Ok back to more serious stuff, we got some very decent character-building backstory for both Kei and Arata. Now normally, this would not be my thing. It was delivered in straight exposition and boy oh boy was it all tragic! Taken independently, both of their backgrounds would have had me gently rolling my eyes and moving on without a second thought. Oh my, an anime protag with a tragic backstory! But it’s in how these stories intertwine to create such a bizarre picture of their relationship that brings the whole thing to a higher level.

It’s kind of interesting that they chose to more or less have our entire supporting cast learn this complicated backstory at the same time via the expositional method you mentioned. On the one hand I guess it helps to have everyone on the same page with their history but it makes me wonder if it was done for a more specific reason. Like one of the Enforcers using this information against our dynamic duo or the opposite and it puts more faith in them and brings closer as a team–who can say for sure?

In fact, the peculiar dynamic between Kei and Arata is truly fascinating and so far, a strong point of the season for me.

Agreed.

A few little random thoughts:

I quite like both the OP and ED. I like the visuals in the OP better, in fact, I like them a lot, but I prefer the ED song!

The interiors are really beautiful this season. I’m not so taken by the architecture, but room designs consistently catch my eye.

Also, I didn’t know where to fit it in the review, but I liked the statement that acting weak releases cortisol making you feel more relaxed. The behavioural neuroscience angle is one I like a lot and I hope they develop it more as Psycho Pass is the perfect universe to explore this in.

I thought it was interesting–if briefly mentioned–but I have to wonder if it was just the writer showing off some fancy things he learned on wikipedia and wanting to put it into the show (okay that was a bit catty of me, apologies to the writer of Psycho Pass).

Oh I guess I should finally admit it. I really liked this episode. More than the last. So far, I think the writing may be a touch weaker than I had hoped. There’s a lot of slightly clumsy exposition. But I’m also starting to see the foundations of a potentially fascinating story with some very intriguing dynamics. I’m excited. When the episode ended I was both surprised by how quickly it had gone by and a little bummed I couldn’t watch the next one right away!

I have to agree (we seem to agreeing a lot this time!) our new characters feel like they’re living up to the potential of this show’s world while adding interesting things to it too. Political corruption, a shadow organisation called ‘Bifrost’ pulling the strings (cool name by the way) plus all the internal machinations at the various levels of law enforcement and interpersonal relationships too makes for a rich and compelling tapestry. If you’re a person who adheres to the 3 episode rule and you haven’t given this show a chance yet then 3 excellent episodes in a row should be proof enough that Psycho Pass is back and firing on all cylinders!

Psycho Pass s3 ep3 – Tensions Flare Another week, another brand-new episode of Psycho Pass. I’m going to hold back and be all mysterious and stuff.

[upthewitchypunx]

Several months ago a sales coordinator from a publishing group reached out to me on behalf of an author asking if I would like to receive a review copy of a witchcraft book. I delayed responding but when I did she sent the book promptly.

It seemed like another "embrace your inner witch" or "witchcraft as self-care" or "witches are just women who don't do what they are told" books. They seems really popular right now. I guess all publishing houses need one no matter if they have a fact checker or not, we'll get to that later.

The Witchcraft Handbook: Unleash Your Magickal Powers to Create the Life You Want

By Midia star

I got the book today. It's really beautiful! It's got a moon and a crow on it. If you've been following my blog for awhile you will know my affinity for my neighborhood corvids. The inside is similarly beautiful. It's full color with beautiful water color illustrations.

Then I opened up to the first page and the first two sentences made me want to scream and throw the book across the room:

"Witchcraft is the practical side of the Wiccan religion. This religion has been around long before Christianity and it bears little resemblance to most other religions followed today"

Now, I could have expected this sort of ill-informed nonsense from a book published in the 90s, but this book was published this year?! Do they not have fact checkers at Ilex press? Wicca is a specific pagan religion that was started in the middle of last century by a guy named Gerald Gardner and filtered through Golden Dawn and Thelma and a questionable sourced experience with a coven in New Forest. It's not that hard to track down the info.

Honestly, just a short trip to Wikipedia could have sorted out this embarrassment.

Also, I'm an agnostic secular witch, I'm not even pagan, but I'll bet that some deeply devoted actual Wiccans would be upset by the idea of just taking whatever "practical" part you want out of their religion.

There are much better ways this could have been addressed and you didn't even have to bring Wicca into it. Witchcraft is a practice that is often a part of pagan religions. However, witchcraft can be a practiced without religion at all. I like to call it secular witchcraft.

We're only still in the first page and the author is saying that Wicca (or possibly witchcraft?) are more a way of life than anything else and that it is nature based, they used magick (with the K, ugh), say they worship gods, and that those deities help them. I can refute each of those things because there are many different kinds of witches.

At this point I started flipping through the rest of the book. It's mostly a spell book, not so much a handbook. There are sections of styles of spells, can you guess what the first one is? Come on guess? What do you think a publisher would want at the front of a witchcraft book to sell it? Love and sex spells, of course.

But before we get there, there's this whole "the power of women" with the tired trope of the village 'wise woman', midwife, healer, etc. Blah, blah, blah modern witches are bad ass powerful women.

It's a plus that this book isn't trying to sell you on needing a bunch of magic(k)al tools and relies on things you can find at a supermarket. I mean, that's great, but some tools are important in some traditions. It could have been nice to discuss that.

Then there's a part about two simple rules. Can you guess what they are? The Threefold Law except it's not only a threefold law, but sometimes it's seven? I don't know, there was no explanation. Also, The Wiccan Reed, yes "Reed", not "Rede".

Ahahaha! This book already at page 10. I can't.

Again, Wicca is a specific pagan religion. You can be a witch without being Wiccan or even pagan. They Wiccan Rede is for Wiccans and I'm not Wiccan so it does not fit into my witchcraft practice. When will we ever get past the Rede thumper policing the behavior of other witches?!

So, there's a section about "how and why does magic(k) work?" except a few pages ago they said that the goddess makes it happen and here the words "without going into too much detail, it's a combination of things." vague allusions to not using all the power within us, and an incredibly simplistic explanation of sympathetic magic(k)

So, now we are on to what the moon phases look like but no detailed info about what spells to cast when besides a simple if you want something positive do it on a full moon.

Now we have the section of love and sex spells with the reminder to be thoughtful about it. Spells to attract a mate, or commitment, flirting, to spice up your sex life, rekindle passions, etc.

Then, right after the section of spells is a section on the elements. I realized that these sections of things others consider foundations are just sort of spliced in random places after groups of spells. Was it intended to be like this? Did the publisher think all that foundation stuff like moon cycles, the elements, book of shadows, holidays, gemstones, herbs, and things were too scary or complicated for people who just want to cast spells to make money or find love?

The organization of this is a mess. On page 99 starts section 4 for home and family spells where the author states that protection for you home is a great way to start your spellcasting. Sooo, why wasn't the book started here? Why did love spells come first? Why not lay a foundation for a practice so you can build from?

There are 40+ more pages but I'm done. This book was definitely not for me, someone who has built my own practice for 13 years, but I would also not recommend it for beginners either. Some of the spells were interesting and the book is pretty but full of errors and assumptions and just poorly put together.

[adigeon]

february fic roundup & fic recs

(originally posted on dreamwidth)

I wrote 13,830 words in February, according to my tracker, which isn't awful. On average I wrote 493.9 words a day. The most words I wrote in one day was 3,013, and I had 12 days where I wrote nothing :(

Details on what I posted in February behind the cut, as well as some links to fic I read and loved in February:

What I posted:

Days When the Rain Would Come: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, 1,732 words, rated T. Summary: Tony deals with someone unexpected coming to Peter's rescue, someone he really would rather not be playing nice with.

Peldor Joi, Doctor Bashir: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, 5,279 words, rated T. Summary: The Bajoran Council of Vedeks insists that Deep Space Nine's temple host the Orb of Time during the Peldor Festival celebrating the tenth year since Cardassia ceded control of the station. What could go wrong?

better than a homing beacon: Star Wars Original Trilogy & Star Wars: Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Luke Skywalker, 4,055 words, rated T. Summary: Cassian repeats what he’d told Loneozner: he needs transport to the Thand Sector, and quickly. No Hutts, no Imperials, and he can work for passage. And, of course, the droid: “There’s something wrong with my R4 unit,” he says. The R4 spins its dome in acknowledgement. “Any time it accesses its nav systems, it crashes.” “Luke’s really the person to ask about droid stuff,” Camie says.

Diffused Light: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Karl Mordo/Stephen Strange, 1,440 words, rated T. Summary: While trapped in the Soul Stone, Stephen Strange receives a visitor.

The Latest Work: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, 1,220 words, rated T. Summary: Garak is put in the unfortunate position of having to correct a misconception Bashir seems to have about Cardassian culture.

Found Wanting: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Ezri Dax/Kira Nerys, 945 words, rated T. Summary: There's one of Jadzia's memories in particular that Ezri thinks a lot about.

What I read: 

Now for some recs! I did a lot of reading in February, so this is a bit lengthy. February was also the month of "huh, didn't realize I shipped that," including me dipping back into Harry Potter fic for the first time in years.

The Second, Silver: MCU, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, 9,122 words, rated M.

Summary: It was a beautiful watch. A mechanical wonder in rose gold, with a blue dial that showed the heavens, the moon and the stars. But it didn’t mean anything. It was simply another beautiful object that Tony owned. Though he admired the construction and design, the watch wasn’t even particularly to his taste, too cold and remote, its hands too delicate. He wondered why he’d gotten it in the first place.

Rec notes: Can't recommend this one strongly enough - mundane/no powers AUs for MCU aren't usually my thing, but the Tony voice in this is dead on, and Tony's POV of watching Stephen change is excellently done. There's a great thread running through the whole thing about Tony's reputation in the public eye and the extent to which he's closeted that I found incredibly compelling. (I actually read this in January according to my bookmarks, but I couldn't bear not sneaking it in here!)

we're in the process of rebuilding (and we're starting from scratch): Star Wars: Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Bodhi Rook, Bodhi Rook/K-2SO, Cassian Andor/K-2SO, Cassian Andor/Bodhi Rook/K-2SO, 4,524 words, rated T.

Summary: “I think my best friends have replaced me,” Cassian said over his breakfast. / Jyn was the only one left at their table, and she raised an eyebrow in reply. He knew what that meant. She was just interested enough to continue listening but not so curious that she’d ask him to go on. He did anyway. / “Bodhi and Kay have been sneaking off to spend time together when I’m not around.” / “Pretty sure that’s just called ‘hanging out,’” said Jyn.

Rec notes: Post-R1 everyone lives, has Bodhi befriending K2, Cassian being jealous of both of them, and it's just really lovely. Nicely understated, almost, given how complicated the relationship dynamics are in this.

Flighty: MCU, Scott Lang/Sam Wilson, 5,472 words, rated T.

Summary: In which Scott Lang spills his guts to Sam Wilson at who cares o' clock in the morning, and it all goes uphill from there. Feat. Wakandan infomercials, brooding worthy of any A-list superhero, an uncomfortably sincere compliment, and a requited crush.

Rec notes: This is so great. Scott POV, Scott learning Xhosa from Wakandan infomercials, just a fantastic portrayal of Scott in the aftermath of CA:CW. Also just pure chemistry between Scott and Sam and great banter. I did not realize I shipped this but I think I ship this.

volatile: Star Wars: Rogue One, Cassian Andor/K-2SO, 1,856 words, rated T.

Summary: Found Index : startled laugh, with the light in his eyes; squinting up at, his mouth shaping kay kay kay like a benediction as if machines could be blessed, but maybe they can, because there is cassian andor, smiling and squinting, and—

Rec notes: Bang-on K2 POV, and the pseudocode interspersed throughout works wonderfully.

deep in my soul: MCU, Karl Mordo/Stephen Strange, 1,695 words, rated E.

Summary: Within the Soul Stone our heroes dream the sweetest of dreams, all unaware they are in trapped in an imagined paradise. All except Stephen Strange, who wants to savor what the Stone has gifted him.

Rec notes: It's porn and it's also very sad and very very good!

To Watch the Faraway Stars: MCU, Heimdall/Loki, 2,930 words, rated T.

Summary: There aren't many things Heimdall cannot see. Loki is sometimes one of them.

Rec notes: Wonderful Heimdall POV, especially the bits where Heimdall is looking over the universe and seeing things that no one else could. There's such a great melancholy optimism to the fic, too, which befits its setting post-Ragnarok.

Sick Day: Broadchurch, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller, 1,560 words, rated G.

Summary: When Hardy calls in sick, a suspicious Ellie decides to pay him a visit.

Rec notes: Dead-on Hardy & Miller chemistry, and I love how restrained Hardy is in this. Hardy/Miller can be a little...florid, sometimes, with Hardy coming out of his shell too readily for my tastes, but here he's perfectly in character while being a little more emotionally vulnerable with Miller than we get to see him in canon.

when the wolfsbane blooms: Harry Potter, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, 7,576 words, rated T.

Summary:  Even a man who is pure in heart/And says his prayers by night/May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms/And the autumn moon is bright. Or: Severus Snape makes a new friend, invents a new potion, and accidentally changes everything.

Rec notes: Canon divergent Marauder-era Lupin/Snape; diverges after the Whomping Willow incident. Snape starts researching werewolves and decides to cure lycanthropy. Cue Snape spending lots of time with Remus, testing potions on him. Snape is still convincingly Snape, and all the potions-theory stuff included is aces.

upon this tidal wave of young blood: Harry Potter, Harry Potter/George Weasley, 10,124 words, rated T.

Summary: George stands before him in the doorway, like a gangly, terrible ghost. His face is heinously pale, which makes the dark bags under his eyes pop in a way that is altogether unflattering, and he wears only a large, striped sweater and a pair of boxers with bats on them. His hair is much longer than it had been last time Harry had seen him, and it’s pulled back into a loose knot. “Harry,” he says, and it comes out breathlessly. / “George.” Harry stands there, wholly encapsulated by familiar heartache just at the sight of his friend. His eyes flick past him to investigate the flat. Clothes and dirty dishes are strewn all over the living room and, if he’s not mistaken, there are at least three pairs of underwear hanging from the ceiling fan. He glances back at George, who is now leaning against the doorway staring at him, expressionless. Harry clears his throat. “I, um… came for a visit. Sorry.”

Rec notes: Harry/George is a post-canon HP ship I had never thought about before, but now that I've thought about it I reckon I might never stop thinking about it.

George Smiley's Wikipedia Page: John Le Carre's works, gen, 1,139 words, rated G.

Summary: What it says on the tin. An imagining of how George's wiki page might look in universe circa a few years after Legacy.

Rec notes: An in-canon wikipedia page for George Smiley. Excellently put together; I especially got a kick out of the "In popular culture" section.

@heyitsspiderman: Into the Spider-Verse, gen, 27,392 words, rated T.

Summary: @heyitsspiderman: people act like they know this city but when i’m in the air i find more boroughs all the time. so far ive counted ten. dont listen to big brother in your ceiling (google) telling you otherwise (google maps)

Rec notes: Marvelously put together work where the various Spider-people figure out how to text between their dimensions and end up in a group chat together. Also, Miles is on Twitter! The coding on this must have taken so much work. The character voices are dead on (I especially enjoy Noir in this,) and the way the plot comes in while sticking to the text/Tweet/etc. format is extremely clever.

[yourgeminiprince]

Graduation... Now What?

Before we begin, quick background:

I've been in post-secondary education for almost 8 years now. In the time I've completed 3 programs and about to complete my degree as my fourth. Now what? 

Let the thoughts begin:

In a short couple months, I will be graduating and not be going back to school, anymore. While formal education has been fun I want to begin the new chapter of my life. So I decided I've learned enough about the world through college and university. 

To be honest with you all I was super excited, over the top to be finally done with school! But now... It's almost here and I'm kind of freaking out! Okay line up a job, get the job, work, go on vacations with your vacay days, find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, get married, have a couple kids, make sure you take care of them, get promotions, reach the top of the ladder and then... you know, do the life thing? I guess... 

See it seems so simple but my brain never likes to just shut up so instead of making it simple... Let's make it more complicated Dhan!

Questions my brain started making me ponder... 

Won't you want to make a decent income after going to school for so long? You have to maximize income. 

What if no one hires you?

What if you take a job and you hate it every single second of your being? 

Don't you have to make a new resume for every job you apply?

Cover letters? 

How many people are you competing with for that job?

Couldn't you have just been a doctor if you were going to be in school this long anyway?

Aren't you going to pick a job that you're passionate about?

I think you guys get the jiff of it... 

I love my brain, really do! Got me through a lot of educational programs but holy does it ever make me overthink every single aspect of my life. I'll be honest with you, I am a little scared of the future. I don't know what it holds, or where it leads. 

But...

Yes, I'm freaking the f*** out... but as much as my brain puts me into these situations of overanalyzing and thinking it also keeps making me think until I figure some of it out. At least I have to or I'm never going to sleep on time/properly. 

So since I've been freaking over this stuff for months, it's also been on my mind for months. Every day I come closer to a conclusion that'll solve my self-induced anxiety. So here are some of my solutions: 

Solutions: 

I have been in school for a long time, yes, but I have learned not just what my programs taught me... But I have also learned a lot about myself. Let's make it simple:

I have been part of teams and always try to lead. I got leadership skills! Hahaha! But no for real, I'm the type of person that'll take on a whole project myself if no one else wants to but I'll also delegate responsibility (Even knowing I'll probably be doing most of it myself... I remember my 40-page marketing research paper that only 1 person in our 5 man group submitted anything more than a copy paste from Wikipedia the night before it was due.) I wrote 39 pages of that 40-page report in a night... We got 70% which was like 40% of our grade... I'll never forget that night since then I've just always assumed I'm doing everything. As great of a leader as I am, I've also learned there are others that can lead to, and as much as you may want to be the one running things, sometimes it's okay to let them lead as well. There are responsible people out there and I have had a great group I could rely on. Everyone in this union study group was on top of their s*** to put it frankly. I wasn't leading it but did it feel good to be putting our entire project together with a group that wanted that end goal as bad as I did.

How is that a solution Dhan? wtf are you talking about? Let me explain...

Whatever a job may want they also what certain skills that would fit their company. I'm great with working with a team, I'm not saying that to toot my own horn... much... but when you're looking through jobs and they say 'needs to have leadership skills as you will be managing your own team and projects'. I got that. I would be a great addition to that company. 

Now yes, there's always more but this is how I calmed my brain down. I focused on what I've done and how I can apply that to the real world in these jobs.

Another quick example:

The first day of school, I'm talking to everyone. I have no issues with approaching random strangers and becoming friends by the end of our conversation. There are people that can never do that... I have undying confidence. I have social skills of a public speaker and the friendliness of a puppy. 

Now let me link these 2 examples together: Teamwork.

Huh? Dhan... what the frack are you talking about? 

You know how people say you should find a job you're passionate about? (The first question my brain brought up) I always had a hard time figuring what I was passionate about... I like a lot of stuff but not always one more than the other. I've worked real estate on the side and I love it because I get to meet new people every day and interact and learn about them. There was always a hint of something I felt like that was missing from it.

When I went to university I ended up being elected to a cabinet. I didn't know anyone and I was a little older than everyone around me so "OMG Brittney we're going to get so smashed tonight" wasn't really what kind of vibe I wanted to be around...  

Side note: When I say vibe I mean the kind of people I wanted to be surrounded with. I didn't feel like carrying Brittney and her friend home as they throw up everywhere. I was way over that phase. Back to the post:

When I joined this team of passionate individuals that were running around getting events done, filling in shifts for one another, solving issues. I got to be part of all of that and I loved it. I got to also be part of Senate and discuss and learn such important things. At the end of it all, we all came together to discuss what was happening and what everyone needed to know. We'd discuss important topics about what was happening in the school and voted on what to do next. Also made a lot of good friends in that way too, which I wouldn't have met if I never was on the committee with them. 

What I realized is, I want to be part of a team more than anything. My passion is tackling a project, or a committee and come out on top (I'm competitive as f*** xD). That rush of getting everything done before the deadline, coordinating parties to have everything supplied, reading 80 pages before heading into a committee in a few days and discussing/debating on one side. That was something I enjoyed and loved and didn't mind spending all day trying to figure things out. 

Now passion about a certain subject may not be foretold to my brain yet, but I know which direction to head. For me, that was enough to let me get sleep. I'm great at figuring s*** out after stressing about it for a bit. Problem-solving skills ;) haha!

For you:

You all have a lot of skills that you don't even realize or take for granted. When you're going to work for someone those are going to come more in handy than that essay you wrote for that history elective you took. If you know how to figure shit out on your own and not be a s***ty person you'll be miles ahead of a lot of people. You have to know you have walked into classes not knowing a single thing about it and passing well at the end of it. You can tackle anything loves! :) 

Now What?

Now, I'm applying for jobs, looking up resumé references for that certain field and adapting them to my own taste. I'm calling up places trying to figure out who to make the cover letter to instead of 'To whom it may concern'. But sometimes... no luck and end up using it cause I gotta move onto the next application. 

Starting to go to interviews and making it more of an 80/20 interview. I let them ask whatever questions they like and ask my own if it relates to their previous question or bombarding them with all of mine at the end. 

Now, I'm searching for a job that'll let me get that team aspect even if it's once in a while. That's what I want and just like through school, I hope I find that certain subject I'm passionate about. Until then, I'll be happy to go find a company and give 120% of Dhan-ness! I want to go in and work hard to open more doors for myself and also... start paying off those pesky student loans hahaha. But like I always say, to figure out who you are you have to experience as much as you can that peaks your interest. Even if it's volunteering or having to work for free from 6-10pm. 

Also instead of focusing on a million things that your mind keeps pondering, just make goals that you want to reach. It's hard for it to ponder when you're feeling good about reaching a goal :D!

Such as:

Pay off student loans

Get your bench press over 135 already (My chest has always been my weakest :$)

Try to move up a position in the company you work for every year or 2. 

Find love (She's out there right? :p) 

 Spend more time with the family 

Learn more tutting and more cheoro, in general, to add to your dance arsenal 

Train to run a half marathon

Write more (Hence this blog)

Read more

Finish up school (duh, but I just wanted to reach 10 already) 

So when I finish school, that's one goal reached. Makes me feel good! Next would be finding that job with the aspect of teamwork then having that to pay off the student loans. Getting the bench up is my personal goal and running cause I'm reading Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes and the greatest race the world has never seen By Christopher Mcdougall (NOT A SPONSOR OR AD! Just reading it!) and it's got me wanting to run and helping me reach that goal of training to run half a marathon. 

IN CONCLUSION:

My mind wonders... and ponders... More than I'd like but instead of letting it make me feel overwhelmed I'm just taking it one step at a time, reminding myself I know what I want and I have the skills all ready to take on any task that may come at me. The goals help tremendously with keeping my brain from pondering dooming questions cause it's like B**** WE WORKING TOWARD IT SO SHUT UP :)!  And I'm starting to get my sleep again on time... kinda... if I'm not binging Netflix at night... (Don't start a new show before bedtime... remember this advice!)

BYE :) 

[redorblue]

Book 18/2017 - Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

I’ve been putting this off for a few days now because I’m not sure what to think. This book took me longer than it should have, considering it’s only 150 pages, because I just didn’t feel drawn back to it. When I was at it it was good, a lot of heavy stuff to think about and an intriguing protagonist, but once I put it down I could have left it there for a long time, which for me is a weird combination. In that regard it’s good that it only has 150 pages because I’m pretty sure at some point I’d have abandoned it, and that would have been sad because I’d definitely have missed something. Plus, I don’t do that kind of thing, unless it’s an awful book, and this one certainly isn’t.

I think the main problem I had was the writing style. I haven’t read anything else by this author and I regret to say that I probably won’t now, because the writing was a bit exhausting. The sentences were very long and just connected with commas and “and” so that sometimes one sentence would span two pages on my e-reader, and while the structure wasn’t particularly complicated, it still dragged. I don’t mean to say that the author can’t write, just that I’m not used to this kind of writing style, which is why for me it disrupted the flow. Funny thing is, in other languages something like that doesn’t really bother me, it’s just English and German, my primary reading languages, where it comes across weird. I can read a bit of Arabic, and a bit more of Persian, and both languages gravitate toward long, “and”-connected sentences, and that’s perfectly fine because I expect it. I looked up the author, wikipedia says he’s from Pakistan. Based on that I assume his native language is Urdu, which is closely related to Persian, so that’s a possible explanation and also a reason for me not to run for his other books immediately, because I guess the sentence structure won’t change much.

What he put into those sentences though was great. The overall tone of the book is quite philosophical, and I dare say it has a melancholy streak (no wonder, it’s about two young people who are forced to flee their country and try to nagivate their new life, their new neighbours, a quickly changing global landscape, and on top of that their relationship). It muses a lot about human nature and the state of the world, how it came to be as messed up as it is and people as vicious toward each other as they are. There’s a lot of thoughtful passages like this, but I’ll just write down one:

The feeling that hung over London in those days was not new to [the protagonists], and they faced it not with bravery, exactly, and not with panic either not mostly, but instead with a resignation shot through with moments of tension, with tension ebbing and flowing, and when the tension receded there was calm, the calm that is called the calm before the storm, but is in reality the foundation of a human life, waiting there for us between the steps of our march to our mortality, when we are compelled to pause and not act but be.

Just skipping through the book kinda made me want to try another one of his books anyway, just for those philosophical moments strewn into the narrative. But I guess now you see what I mean by long sentences...

The book explores several themes in surprising depth, considering its length, mainly migration, identity and love. The main premise is this: in an unnamed, probably Middle Eastern city two young people meet. The woman, Nadia, broke with her family when she moved out against their will. Despite the difficulties of living alone as a young, unmarried woman, she cherishes the independence it allows her, as she is very freedom-loving and rejects the confines of tradition that tell her what to do, what to think and how to behave. The man, Saeed, is more social, rather calm, quietly religious, and has a gentle soul. They meet, fall in love, and are just about to build a relationship when civil war breaks out and they have to leave behind their city, their social circle and (Saeed’s) family in order to escape the fighting. There’s one element of magical realism in the book which is essential for both Nadia and Saeed’s journey and for the general state of the world: everywhere around the globe, unpredictably, doors open that permit people to another place in the blink of an eye. Together with the sorry state of the world in may places, this makes migration toward richer countries increase a lot and undermines the very concept of nationhood and citizenship since the authorities are simply unable to control entry and exit. The book follows Nadia and Saeed’s odyssey to Mykonos, London and San Francisco and sheds a light on how these places deal with the sudden change (spoiler: hostile, mostly. Nativist movements, hate crime and state violence all across the board for a while, until governments and people get their sh** together and either try and facilitate life for the new arrivals for the sake of social stability, or just leave them to fend for themselves on whatever patch of land they can find). The main narrative is interspersed with some oneshot-like stories of people in other places and their experience with the doors, which I really enjoyed because they gave them a lot more variation than was possible with the way Nadia and Saeed use them - basically like very quick, kinda unpredictable airplanes without passport control.

Nadia and Saeed are the only two named characters in the book, and although the secondary characters are fleshed out a little bit, they usually disappear pretty quickly again. I liked both of them, especially Nadia, but the really interesting part was to see their relationship grow, mature, and finally expire - all of that with the shadow of a “what if” looming over it - what if they’d had time to properly get to know each other? What if they wouldn’t have had to rush their relationship the way they did, what with being thrust into the life of refugees and the other person the only one in the entire world that you know? What if they’d stayed in their city? Would their relationsheip have held up? The book doesn’t give an answer to that, but I dare say no - they had something beautiful, in the very beginning, and they never turned abusive or even mean toward the other, for which I am very grateful re: stereotypes, but in the end they weren’t compatible character-wise. The migration experience sharpened those differences, but a lifetime of living together, especially under difficult political circumstances, does the same, so I think it simply wasn’t meant to be. Which rarely happens in any book centered around a couple, so I liked that. And funnily enough I especially liked the way their process of slowly drifting apart was described, with each of them knowing what happens and kinda trying to hold on, but finally unable to do so. I liked how the main reason they stayed together as long as they did was loyalty, instead of some chemicals in their brain or rose-coloured glasses in front of their eyes. I liked how they dissolved things in a mature way when the time came, and how after that they just continued drifting apart. I liked how natural it seemed, despite the unusual circumstances.

This book showed me in a very personal and tangible way how it feels to be a refugee - the waiting, the uncertainty, the tension with the people around you, family, other refugees, and citizens of the country you’re living in.  It picks up some stereotypes especially about people from Muslim countries and takes a look behind the beard and the veil: like Saeed, who is religious and hangs out with other religious people a lot simply because he misses home and needs something to hold on to. Who would never ever do antything violent because he’s such a kind man. Or like Nadia, who is an atheist but wears black robes even after she fled her city simply because she perceives it as some kind of protection from people and especially from men, and who just got so used to it at some oint that she doesn’t see a reason to not wear them anymore. I guess it’s a futile thought, but if a xenophobic or islamophobic person could ever be convinced to engage with the topic in a serious and nonbiased way, this would be the book to start the process.

[willswalkabout]

Bangkok, Koh Samui, Koh Phangan So much happened in the space of the 6 nights I'm writing about here I'm going to have to do some condensing. The complications, matched equally I should say with a really great time, are well summarised by the fact during that 6 night period I actually paid for 10 nights accommodation. A few months ago, though in reality, Tuesday night, I arrived very late into Bangkok. The next day I explored Bangkok, this was a fairly daunting task in only 1 day but I felt I gave it a good go. After walking to the Golden Mount, I went on to look at 3 more temples based along the river. There were a few things that immediately struck me about Thailand. One was of course the heat, 28-32'C all day felt intense and was tiring. Even having now had 6 days of this I still have not fully adapted. Another was the presence of young western backpackers. Thailand is of course the number one place that comes to everyone's mind when a gap year is mentioned. I believe it also gets an undue amount of stick. It's an absolutely beautiful country, which has done a great job at making itself very easy to get around. I have taken flights, taxis, buses, ferries and hired a scooter without any trouble whatsoever. I also met others that had made very successful use of the night trains. Saying all this I now cannot really complain about the numbers of backpackers I was seeing the whole time. I suppose my only point would be that many were seemingly in couples or groups of 3+, which appeared daunting at first when you're hoping to meet people, though as you'll see further down this post I had no problems whatsoever. I paid a visit to Khaosan Road that evening. It felt as if a right of passage to start my trip off properly in South East Asia. This is not to say that I particularly enjoyed it, or would return! Thursday was to be an epic travel day, and was the one where I've felt the most physically and mentally drained at the end of the day. I left my hostel at about 9 to get a taxi to Bangkok's main domestic airport, DMK. From there I got a flight down the coast to Surat Thani. I then got the 3pm bus-ferry combo, which got me onto the island of Koh Samui at 630pm. 4 modes of transport in I was already tired, but finding a taxi at the port that would take me to my air BnB was to be another struggle. Nobody knew where the location was, small given the island is 2/3 the size of the Isle of Wight. It was this remoteness that would go on to cause further issues down the line. At about 8 I finally reached the 'treehouse' that would be my home for the next 4 days. I could write pages about the frustrations that piled on top of each other from that point on, throughout the evening, but I'd rather not. In short, Dave, my host, from Washington, US but a local of 10 years, was an infuriating conspiracy theorist. There's a classic, often unfair joke that goes around about vegans. It goes something like: Person A: "Hi, how are you doing?" Vegan: "Did you know I'm a vegan?" This is a good representation of Dave and his views on 9/11. That the planes were holograms, it was all planned by Bush, what hit the Pentagon was a missile disguised as a plane.... The thing with this is that with 9/11 or the moon, we've heard these stories before. You can nod along and appease enough. However Dave wasn't finished. Obama created ISIS and he beheadings are CGI. The Sandyhook massacre of children was a false flag and the families were all government employees. Finally, and the one which nearly provoked me to upturn the table we were sitting at, the holocaust was filmed in Hollywood. His justification being that of course we say Hitler was evil, history is written by the winners.... You get the picture. The funny thing is that I could have coped with all this, had his treehouse not got highly inadequate mosquito prevention, i.e. no windows. Had he not lived 45 minutes scooter ride from anything on the island I wanted to do. Had the toilet facilities not involved a trough of water and a bucket. The second of those three issues was my fault for a lack of research, I honestly didn't think the island was big enough to have somewhere that remote. In the morning I booked a taxi, 3 nights in the most sociable area of Chaweng beach, and left. It's mildly irritating that Dave has written in his review of me on air BnB, that I didn't like it because I am 'sheltered'. I wouldn't have personally called 6 months of solo travelling in mostly 8 bed hostel dorms (something he knew), sheltered, but I'm so happy that was the decision I made. Upon arriving in accommodation no.3 of this blog I hired a scooter for the first time, and immediately got to know Michael, an Australian 19 year old about to start his second year at uni. Michael was the first of 11 Aussies I met over the next 2 days, leading me to double check on Wikipedia that Trump wasn't dominating the news to such an extent I'd missed the Australian occupation of Thailand. We visited another Buddha, followed by a swim, and then watched a sunset, at the absolutely stunning bar called Jungle Club, featured above. It was here Michael informed me that he was going to Koh Phangan the next day for the half moon party. A famous jungle event where joint travellers from the across the Thai islands congregate for a huge night out and in some cases extremely excessive drinking. "Buckets" as they are called should be approached with some caution... We found a hostel that only cost £2 a night, the ferry was £10 return so I thought it a worthwhile excursion. On Saturday morning we rode the exquisite coast road from Chaweng to Nathom and from that point Michael's ability to find every other Australian he'd met over the past 6 weeks, kicked in. First he spotted a Gabby and another girl that he'd met in Cambodia. They had since been joined by another 6 friends, and were embarking on what Michael described as 'flash-packing'. Like backpacking but with resorts and large suitcases. We both then hired scooters on the island, and on the way to the hostel passed a couple from Sydney who he'd seen in both Cambodia and Bangkok. It was faintly ridiculous, but we spent the rest of the evening swimming in the hostel's pool, playing table tennis, FIFA 17 on the hostel's PS4, (a particular highlight) and then having some drinks while lying in hammocks at a bar on the beach. It was surreally good, and I couldn't have been happier Dave and I had parted ways. We went out as a group of 12 which was good fun, and reconvened for breakfast before I got the ferry back to Koh Samui. The others were moving on to another island, Koh Tao, famous for its diving. I may well meet up with them again in Sydney later in the trip. I mostly relaxed on Sunday afternoon in the hostel, before having some dinner at a market with the first English traveller I'd come across. Joanne had spent the last 2 years saving from her first 2 years in work out of university, and had taken 3 months off to see Bali, Thailand and Vietnam. She also lived in Holloway Road which was amusing to hear on a semi-remote Thai island. Today, Monday, has been a long travel day, taking the reverse route from last Thursday. I have just touched down in Bangkok, and will probably regroup my stuff which has suffered slightly from 13 nights in 6 different places, before flying to Hanoi, Vietnam, tomorrow. I will try and divide my 2 weeks in Vietnam in 2, so expect the next instalment early next week.

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[quarter-lifecrisisblog-blog]

A brief introduction

The Wikipedia entry for “quarter-life crisis” references exactly four (4) songs that are written about the subject:

“20 Something” by SZA — one of my favorite songs off of the Best album of 2017

“Why Georgia” by John Mayer — an excellent album from a gifted guitarist [from a beautifully pure time before he told Playboy “my dick is sort of like a white supremacist” and got canceled]

“True Love (For Now)” by Spector — truly don’t know anything about this song or band; gonna give it a try

and of course, “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac — a classic and a banger and don’t even get me started on Stevie’s brilliance IT IS 2018 WHY DON’T WE HAVE A HALF-DECENT STEVIE NICKS BIOPIC

Hi, hey, hey there, hi, I'm Al, and YEAH, I've officially started my newsletter with a Wikipedia page reference! The corny-ass millennial equivalent of starting your best man's speech with, “Webster's Dictionary defines ‘love’ as ‘a score of zero’…”

But! I promise I know what I'm doing. (put that on my tombstone !!!)

Welcome to Quarter-Life Crisis. I’m a 26-year-old copywriter in the middle of a big ol’ full-blown existential crisis, and I’m going to try my best to write my way out of it.

For the past few years, I’ve been typing out boring marketing crap rather than writing the things I WANT AND NEED to write. Of course this has led to me becoming desperately unhappy at work, which is consequently bleeding insecurity into other aspects of my life, like maintaining my adult friendships, and uh, dating.

(i’m sure this is a big part of it, too, but i’m somehow simultaneously broke as hell? lol)

So now I’m writing about what I want to write about: Politics, culture, movies, relationships, being a bad feminist, not wanting to admit I haven’t actually read “Bad Feminist,” recommending books I have read and liked, screaming about the music I like *that week*, and working through my complicated feelings about being a rap fan/sports fan/lowkey astrology fan?/single woman/horny bitch/crude professional.

I want this to be a place where I can bitch, but also a place where y’all can bitch back; a weekly brain dump that will hopefully speak to some of the things you’re feeling, too, and a conversation where we can try to make sense of the fucking hell that is our late twenties—together~!

This week…

Ah yes; so I started this off with a Wikipedia pull on purpose. Because this week? I've been thinking a lot about definitions. This past week, something fucking terrible has been happening, and that terrible thing is the Br*tt K*vanaugh job interview/confirmation/swearing in/media circus.

A lot of the process has been frustrating. I’m so tired and I don’t want to make you relive it. But I do want to talk about one moment that stood out to me:

In what felt like the only good-ish moment of the hearing, Sheldon Whitehouse—junior senator from Rhode Island and bizarro Jeff Daniels—carried out his questioning with the kind of cutting quick-wittedness that I like to imagine would make Aaron Sorkin exasperatedly throw a stack of papers up into the air.

But aside from the sheer thrill of seeing Kavanaugh being grilled, why’d this moment get my attention? WELL, FOLKS, as someone who once held her college campus’s newspaper's job of coming up with the “Position of the Week” each Wednesday (yes, that means what you think it means; no, the job interview for that one is not as interesting than you’d think), I can tell you: that’s uhhh,

NOT NECESSARILY THE DEFINITION OF THE PHRASE.

Can we prove that Kavanaugh’s “definition” of Devil’s Triangle either was or wasn’t a lie? And more interestingly to me this week: Does it matter? In a time when the definition of a word can evolve and change with the introduction of a meme, or the edit of a page?

That same day, someone with a congressional IP address anonymously edited the disambiguation page for “Devil’s Triangle,” to include an entry for the “popular drinking game enjoyed by friends of Judge Brett Kavanaugh.” The edit was flagged and rescinded by Wiki mods, but it made enough of an impression that many Kavanaugh supporters felt vindicated in proclaiming that he had told the truth.

(By the way, whoever’s using that IP address has also edited the pages for the beloved Disney Channel film “Motocrossed,” beloved Charli XCX album “Pop 2,” and beloved Star Wars character Luke Skywalker. And it’s hard-hitting stuff, as you can see below. For the love of god, someone PLEASE get my girl Ashley Feinberg on the case.)

All of this brings us back to Stevie Nicks, thank god.

Some Wikipedia editor has decided that “Landslide” should be held up as one of the top four pivotal mid-life crisis songs, and that’s probably accurate. Stevie wrote it when she was 26 (hahahahaha fuck me !) and the lyrics seem to speak to every second of everything I’ve been feeling work-wise and relationship-wise lately.

But to others, it can be a song about something else. Before you hopped onto Genius (one of my favorite sites because of gems like these) and got pointed to direct quotes from four different interviews Stevie’s done on the song, you might’ve imagined it to be about someone contemplating infidelity, or a tumultuous father-daughter relationship. In looking up the lyrics, I saw someone say it exactly described their relationship with their faith.

So… do definitions matter? Maybe not. Maybe the meanings you assign to things are just as valuable as truth…certainly when it comes to something as subjective as music or art, at least. But when it comes to history, or language, or Supreme Court justices, or job interviews, shouldn’t there be one central source of truth? YEAH, probably.

PROBABLY—and look, I’m no Frasier Crane, but—I’m just wading into the idea of ever-evolving definitions trying to avoid putting weight on the lack of definition in my own life right now…

I recently started ~hanging out~ with someone. Everyone my age knows, “We’re hanging out,” said in a certain way with a specific tone can mean any range of things from “we’re occasionally fucking” to “we’re kind of maybe nearing something like dating?”

That ~hanging out~ phase is a beautiful bubble, but the second someone tries to really drill down on what the phrase means, it pops. I’m not going to comment on what side of that sliding scale I’m on with this one, but I do know that for now, floating around in this definition-less grey froth is much, much, much more lovely than my attempts to define—or, ew god sorry, describe—it.

But even in the grey areas, there’s always always always a gut feeling that refuses to go away, refuses to stop speaking your truth, even if it’s only whispering it just to you. So yeah, yes, I know what I want this definition to be; I know where I want us to go…I just don’t want to say it just quite yet.

OK LOOK, I’ve gone in circles, so maybe this meditation on definition has been as futile and pointless as a Jeff Flake gesture. But for the record, I AM gonna go ahead and keep defining Brett Kavanaugh as a pathetic entitled slimeball who lied through his tiny off-white teeth. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Some definitions just feel better than others. Because I’ve never seen this area as particularly grey; the voice in the pit of my stomach is saying something I actually understand loud and clear: I believe Dr. Ford.

To all of the people who’ve been marching, rallying, tweeting, walking out, speaking out, calling CSPAN, writing their representatives, ANYTHING…this one’s for you.

—Your newest lady friend, Al

(psssst, if you want any of this in newsletter form, please, step right this way)

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Trolling Goalies, All-Star Voting, and Gretzky's Circus Pants

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Referee Ian Walsh – I appreciate his commitment to still finishing the job when things go bad. If my wifi goes out for six seconds I go back to bed for the rest of the day.

The second star: David Pastrnak is helping – Specifically, he's helping warm up Anton Khudobin, who could not possibly be less interested.

Oh hey, speaking of annoying a goaltender...

The first star: Carter Hart vs. Matteo Ritz – Hart is Canada's starting goalie at this year's World Juniors. "Matteo Ritz," which is clearly a made-up name, is the Swiss backup. Like many players these days, Hart has a superstition about being the last off the ice, but his comes with a twist: Instead of applying only to warmup, he wants to be last off for intermission too. Yes, during games. So the Swiss decided to send Ritz out to mess with him.

Careful readers will note that Hart used the same trick that P.K. Subban pulled off in last week's column, which I think we would all agree can only mean on thing: Carter Hart reads the Grab Bag. What's up Carter!

Needless to say, this is all very dumb. But Canadians are having some fun with it.

Trivial Annoyance of the Week

The NHL announced the results of fan voting for the All-Star Game captains this week. The fans elected Connor McDavid, Steven Stamkos, Alexander Ovechkin and P.K. Subban. Those are solid choices—good players, with a non-zero element of personality mixed in. Nice work, fans.

But there was something missing in the announcement. See if you can spot it.

Yes, they gave us the results of the fan vote…without actually telling us what the vote was. Once again, the league didn't bother sharing the numbers each guy got. That's no surprise, since they didn't release totals throughout the voting process either.

That's not a huge deal—it's just an all-star game, it's not like we're not voting in a head of state here. But it's weird. The All-Star vote is supposed to be a fun thing, and part of the fun is knowing what the races look like.

Which of the four players got the most votes, making him the leading vote-getter across the entire league? Great question, but we don't know. Lightning stars Nikita Kucherov and Steven Stamkos were 1-2 in the Atlantic balloting, but was it a close race, with Kucherov nipping at his teammate's heels the whole way only to fall just short? No idea. Did Sidney Crosby give Ovechkin a run for his money in the Metro? Look, stop asking questions and just buy some neon yellow all-star jerseys.

The NFL doesn't do this. When Le'Veon Bell beats out Tom Brady for the top spot, they want you to know about it. MLB makes a point of marketing how close their races are. The NBA makes everything available in exhausting detail.

But not the NHL. When it comes to marketing all-stars, apparently they know better.

This fits in nicely with the league's habit of withholding information from fans whenever it can. We've been over this plenty of times before. Whether it's a conditional trade or a contract signing or the result of a replay review, the NHL wants you to know as little as possible. It's basically league policy at this point.

But when it comes to that other stuff, you can at least come up with a reason why the league might want to keep fans in the dark. Not a good reason, mind you, but something. Not here. I'm honestly stumped. Why wouldn't you want fans to get into the races?

We can only imagine what's going on behind the scenes. Maybe the races weren't close at all. Maybe fans somewhere were stuffing ballot boxes and the races were ridiculous. Maybe this is the league trying to hand out some sort of punitive payback for the whole John Scott fiasco. Maybe the vote totals are embarrassingly low across the board when compared to other sports.

Or maybe this is just yet another example of a league that doesn't really like its own fans very much, and can't help but take any opportunity it can find to passive-aggressively annoy them. If so, it's far from the most glaring or consequential example we've seen, and no doubt we'll all forget about it quickly enough. It's just odd. Even when the call is an easy one and everyone else is showing them the right answer, the NHL really can't help itself. They'll find a way to mess it up somehow.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Earlier this week I wrote a piece that made a passing reference to Wayne Van Dorp, which made me think man, I need to write an obscure player piece on Wayne Van Dorp. So this week's obscure player is Wayne Van Dorp.

In addition to having a fantastic name, Wayne Van Dorp was a tough guy who took an unusual route to the NHL. Despite managing a decent 22 goals on top of 242 penalty minutes as a junior in 1980-81, he wasn't drafted. So he headed to Holland of all places, spending parts of four years playing pro in the Netherlands while also making appearances in North American minor leagues. That led to a free agent deal with the Buffalo Sabres in 1986, and a trade to Edmonton at the 1987 deadline paved his way to an NHL debut as a 25-year-old. He played a few games for the Oilers, earning a Cup ring in the process, before being dealt to the Penguins in the Paul Coffey trade.

After a few games in Pittsburgh it was back to Buffalo in another trade, but for the second time, he never suited up for the Sabres. Instead it was off to Chicago, where as a 1980s enforcer he put in his mandated service time in the Norris Division. He had his best season as a Blackhawk, playing 61 games and scoring seven goals in 1989-90 while racking up 303 PIM and squaring off with division stalwarts like Bob Probert, Joey Kocur, and Shane Churla. He went to Quebec in the 1990 waiver draft, where he suffered an injury that ultimately ended his NHL career. He'd head to Italy for a season before retiring in 1993.

Van Dorp's Wikipedia page is two paragraphs long, and for some reason one of them is solely about how he "has appeared in hockey blooper tapes fighting Serge Roberge" while in the AHL. I just like how they specify that it was hockey blooper tapes, plural.

I'm assuming the fight in question is this one, which is…fine. It's a good scrap. I'm not sure it's half a-guy's-entire-Wikipedia-page good, but maybe that's why I'm not an editor.

The NHL Actually Got Something Right

OK, we complained about the NHL finding a way to screw up the all-star voting. So let's flip the script and look at the other vote results that were released this week.

As part of the never-ending celebration of the league's 100th anniversary, we had yet another fan vote, this one for history's best uniforms. When the vote was first announced, it was hard not to roll your eyes and assume this was going to turn into another Original Six lovefest, with the rest of the list dominated by current designs because modern fans have no attention span. Instead, we got this:

That's… that's a damn good list. The whole top 25 is here.

We get an Original Six team at No. 1, but that's fine because the Blackhawks uniform is a worthy winner. But then the list veers off into some long-gone classics, like the Whalers, Nordiques, and North Stars. We get appearances by the old school Jets and Flames, and the Gretzky-era Kings. The Golden Knights even show up. All the Original Six teams are in there too, but they don't dominate.

It's not perfect. The Mighty Ducks are a little too high—sorry, 90s kids—and the lack of the old green and red Devils uniforms is inexcusable. But overall, this is a good ranking. For something that seems to have been destined to give people something to get upset and argue over, I can't really find anything to howl about here.

There's also a message here for modern-day uniform designers: Calm down, stop obsessively messing with the piping on the sleeves, and just give us a solid color combination with a logo a kid can draw on his or her pencil case. This isn't complicated, guys. When the Seattle Soundgardens show up in a few years and immediately win the Presidents' Trophy because teams line up to give them 30-goal scorers, they don't need to do it while wearing fourteen shades of puce and a logo designed by M.C. Escher. Simple works.

But yeah, good job NHL fans. And good job NHL for setting this up in a way that clearly got people thinking in the right direction. I'm assuming this is the last of the centennial votes, and if so, the league went out with a job well done.

(Now if only they told us how many votes each uniform got…)

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Last weekend was New Year's Eve, which means it was quite possibly the anniversary of both the sport's greatest game and the NHL's great moment. The former, of course, is the classic 1975 exhibition showdown between the Canadiens and the Soviet Red Army that's often called the best game ever played.

The latter, as recently voted by NHL fans, is this week's clip.

It's December 31, 1988 and the Penguins are hosting the Devils for a New Year's Eve tilt at the old Igloo. Lemieux is about to do something that nobody has ever done before: Score five goals in five different ways.

Those five ways are, of course, by: Deflecting the puck off a defenseman, King Kong Bundy splashing a goalie, body-checking a referee, executing an NHL 94 one-timer, and by breaking a linesman's brain.

Wait, I'm being told the five ways are actually even strength, powerplay, short-handed, penalty shot and empty net. It's never been done before this game. Also never done before this game: Anyone thinking that "five goals five ways" was a thing.

I'm going to be completely honest with you: There are several better clips of this game available on YouTube, including the league's high-quality version and a fan-made version that's longer and more detailed. This one isn't as good, and doesn't even include all the goals. Why am I using it? Three words: Wayne Gretzky's pants. Stick with me, I've never steered you wrong before.

So we're actually watching something called Great Hockey Moments With Wayne Gretzky, as brought to you by Upper Deck. "You don't just watch the game, you play it!" Um, what? I'm trying to relax on my couch here, Upper Deck, how about you calm down on yelling at me for being lazy?

And there are Wayne Gretzky's pants. Was I wrong? I was not wrong.

Literally everyone dressed like this in the mid-90s, by the way. I'm not throwing stones here.

Gretzky intros the clip, and then we're on to the highlights. They're weirdly out of order here, starting with the hat-trick goal and then moving to the second. That one's my favorite, because it features Mario going one-on-one against a defender. That always resulted in somebody getting humiliated, but this time there's an added bonus: the defender is actually a forward, Aaron Broten. Lemieux used to regularly humiliate Ray Bourque, so you can imagine how this goes for Broten. But at least he tries and doesn't just immediately fall down and start crying, which I think should have resulted in him being awarded the Masterton.

Also, Lemieux ends the play by "accidentally" crushing the goalie. That happened a lot with Mario. At least nobody got kicked in the crotch, Jon Casey mutters bitterly.

They never do show the first goal, which makes sense given it was actually an own goal by the Devils. Instead we skip right to the penalty shot, followed by the empty netter. That one's funny because it came right as time expired, and you can see the linesman get flustered and try to half-heartedly wave off the goal before the referee skates over and tells him to stay in his damn lane.

As mentioned, this was recently voted the greatest moment in NHL history. We, um, all agree that this is not actually a "moment," right? OK, cool, just checking that words still had meaning.

Fun fact: In addition to the five goals, Lemieux added three assists to make this one of only sixteen eight-point games in NHL history. Even more impressive, it was the most ever by a player who had points on every goal scored by his team. That's a record that has to this day have never been matched because I'm pretty sure we all agree that the whole Sam Gagner thing was a glitch in the simulation and never actually happened.

And that wraps it up for five goals five ways. Join us next week when Gretzky one-ups Lemieux by becoming the first player to ever stuff five hockey helmets down the front of his pants.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Trolling Goalies, All-Star Voting, and Gretzky's Circus Pants published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Netjuu no Susume 2 - 3 | Black Clover 2 | Classicaloid 28 | Juuni Taisen 2 - 3 | Code: Realise 2 | Houseki no Kuni 2

I lost Classicaloid after episode 28…good thing I had Girls’ Last Tour on tap. (See Houseki no Kuni’s simulcast commentary for more details on that.)

Netjuu no Susume 2

Aw, I’m not really one for romances, but once again, these guys are making me warm and fuzzy on the inside. Hayashi and his cry emote really get to me – I love bishies who aren’t gung-ho macho.

Sakurai has an email from Comico! LOL!

I’m with Lilac on this love story, LOL.

“Sakura-chan”!!! Oh, it’s so cute. It also probably explains why Sakurai = Lily, eh?

This isn’t a manga, it’s an online manga. Same diff, Hime-chan.

If you pause at Moriko’s email, you’ll see it’s riddled full of keigo (polite language).

Sakurai Yuuta voiced by Sakurai Takahiro, LOL. Didn’t notice that the first time around.

It’s staying on, even if for just warm fuzzies.

Netjuu no Susume 3

I’m hearing the OP for the first time and…it’s actually pretty good! It fits the entire cute aesthetic of the show.

Irina was only just talking about this.

I’ve heard people call Moriko Morimori-chan across the ‘net and I didn’t understand it until Koiwai said it just then. Nicknames mean you’re uber close in Japanese terms.

I had the volume on while Koiwai and Morimori-chan (LOL) had their chat and I couldn’t hear her cry. So much for Mamiko Noto being a top-notch seiyuu, eh?

LOL, Koiwai’s so fun as a character.

Eyyyyyyyyyy. This green counter boy is probably Kanbe. You can tell by the hair colour!

Is Li-chan Lilac or Lily?

LOL, the Rose of Versailles parody is too good.

A…dog PUG? Apparently not. Never played WoW, of course I wouldn’t know the term.

Oh, I preempted the show’s caption. These sorts of captions were used in Superstar wa Nemurenai too, so this feels nostalgic in a sense.

I know the feel, Lily. I’ve been in online arguments before (you’ll see in previous simulcast commentaries I cite the magicalgirlsandcerulean one a lot).

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! These too-cute-for-this-world characters steal my heart againnnnnnnnnnn!

Interesting that Nico is called just that in the credits.

Black Clover 2

That very scribbly handwriting appears to be…English. Mostly correct English, to boot.

Someone decided on sakuga this ep, it seems…

Okay, I think I’ve had enough echo reverb for a lifetime. That’s going on hold.

Classicaloid 28

Ah, the new OP. Same song, Dovo-chan + “Wataru”, a few new staff…but otherwise, same old, same old. That’s what I like.

Oh, I almost missed the sign that says “Place all used tableware in the sink – Kanae”. Thanks, subbers.

Huh. The word “respect” is teinei, which technically means “politeness”. But “respect” works better in context, I guess.

Sometimes, Beet says things that actually make sense + are quotable. Get me some quotes of this man (LOL).

This shopping list stuff, if it isn’t something you’ve done for your family already, is normally something for kids in Japan as part of fostering independence. So, I think Wa-kun’ll be the winner here.

Garland chysanthemum is the only one of these I’m unfamiliar with. Apparently in Japanese, it’s called shingiku, which would correspond to those kanji I saw on the shopping list.

Why is Dovo-chan going with Wa-kun? (LOL?)

There’s a coffee shop called Mogura (mole) behind Liszt in one scene.

Wa-kun reminds me a lot of the Beppus (Boueibu). Seriously, we need a comparison of those three.

Symphony No. 7. The Allegretto seems to be stirring some memory in me, but I can’t seem to detect what particularly or why it does. However, Wikipedia does note Wagner liked it. In fact, Wagner admired it.

Yup, Pad-kun. That’s (the bit about “apotheosis of dance”) the bit Wikipedia says.

I think the hippo -> idiot joke works better in Japanese (kaba -> baka, it’s a reversal of syllables).

See? Wa-kun is like the Beppus! Lookit that boy blush.

How does one spell “yeah” anyway? I swear I’ve seen 2 or 3 variants of the word alone…

Oh, Schu-san wasn’t around this episode. He got taken away by the kite strings like last time, come to think of it. Admittedly, I think I liked Schu better when he wasn’t a rapper, although apparently this time he’s going to go into reggae, judging by the rasta cap he had in the OP.

Ohh, a goukon I see. It’s translated as “singles’ party”, but…well, let’s say it’s a little more complicated than that. “Singles’ party” translates sufficiently, but goukon have certain connotations to them that make them uniquely goukon, much like sushi needs vinegared rice to be sushi, anime needs to be at least partially made in Japan and so on.

Juuni Taisen 2

I think Nezumi being sleepy is a pun (neru -> to sleep).

Oh, hey. They do look like the Justice League.

By the by, this OP is called “Rapture”. Not “Rupture”, even though that would sound more appropriate in some contexts.

The CGI models at the end of the OP look like figures. Either I give you my money for good quality versions of those or you…shouldn’t waste your time, Graphinica. (Especially the Tatsumi bros.)

The title of this episode literally translates to “chicken cry, dog steal”. I dunno what idiom’s behind it, so I’ll leave that to the subbers.

Well, a manhole is one way to lay low…

“Old Timer”. Good pun there.

Knowing the Beppus, I’d say the Tatsumi was talking about his bro and not Inou.

Well, that was a bit too much blood. Good thing is wasn’t as bad as King’s Game.

Finally, an Ume show I can really kick back and not worry about! Young Black Jack and a lot of shows I go into for Ume are normally shams or locked out by licensing, so I’m finally psyched to get a proper Ume show to back.

Uuma walking through the turnstiles was…pretty funny, actually. (LOL.)

How does one out-crazy Rabbit, with his high heels and booty shorts???

Well, as they say, when an unstoppable object meets an unmoving force, kaboom! (Or…something like that…)

According to the manga, Dotsuku was a teacher. Can you really imagine that though? Dotsuku, a teacher??? Of little kids???

Note Niwatori is shown with science things. She must know some stuff about Dotsuku’s poisons too, although she probably didn’t expect them. Update: Read ahead, and let’s say I’m right about one thing and wrong about another.

I wonder which Tatsumi bro is the NEET and which is the gambler…

Rabbit home boy’s too good, but Ushii and his fluffy jacket are better.

Nezumi and Twelve Mart, LOL.

Juuni Taisen 3

I read up on some spoilers for this…so I’m only just keeping abreast of some of you guys out there. However, the TV Tropes page notes that the OP shows who the winner of the Taisen is if you pay close attention…

Ugh, I love Nezumi and Ushii too much. Mah Ume-boy is good as gold – this is a step up, considering I’ve started some very bad anime because of Ume-chan – but even though I don’t know Shun Horie very well, I like me a bishie like that too! (Horie’s a tad quiet, but otherwise he’s pretty good too.)

It was much clearer that Niwatori was affected by the One Man Army even during her meetup with the Monkey in the manga, so…yeah. I’ll give it that much.

Silly name of “Cockscomb” aside, that’s the name of Niwatori’s spading fork. Cockscomb.

I’m properly listening to the OP and ED for the first time, but I like the ED more than the OP. Probably because the Justice League is funny but the ED’s casual stuff is better.

Oh, there’s a post-credits scene. Keep watching.

Oh, that’s…pretty powerful stuff, Niwatori. Wowee, Juuni Taisen’s got the mark of a high ranker, from its staff to its OP and ED quality. Tough competition this season, as I keep saying.

“Even a monkey can fall from a tree.” – That’s a kotowaza meaning “Even experts fail sometimes”, which is an important adage for this show.

Sharyuu was taught by sages, so that comment is interesting, Duodecuple…or Horse…or whoever’s narrating this.

The pun in the next ep title is something to do with the word saru (monkey). Noting that saseru is a thing in Japanese, maybe saru is a shortened form of that Nisio Isin wanted to cash in on…?

Update: I finally figured out Dotsuku’s pun! Make the tsu smaller, give the ku a tenten and you have…the katakana pronunciation for dog!

Code:Realise 2

Get me a man like Impey and I’ll be set for life, LOL.

“If you touch me, you’ll melt.” – The juxtaposition of Cardia’s sadness with a punchline makes for something very interesting, indeed.

Saint??? Is that his first name or his title?

These ornaments on Finis and the queen – the pseudo-Chinese or Japanese ones – stand out a bit compared to all the steampunk stuff.

Oh, dearie me. The cars and carriages in this are CGI and it shows.

“…Baron Gilford Dudley and party.” – LOL.

“He loves his food too.” – I’d assume ths subject of this is Sisi, but the way this sentence was framed made it sound like Impey loves his food too. Which seems to be true, since Impey likes cooking.

These really bright scenes are kinda sudden. They don’t quite work with the rest of the show, and that’s because they’re probably stills you collect in the game.

I keep thinking this dude with the guns is Fran. Geez, it’s quite the bad case of Six Same Faces…however, this one has purple eyes while Fran’s are green.

C’mon! Stockinged legs aren’t that indecent, Lupin. I know you run by Victorian London standards, but still.

Okayyyyyyyyy. Vampire hunter fits the theme of historical fictional bishies, but…you really don’t imagine Van Helsing to look like this. Just sayin’.

The glowy blood was probably unnecessary…

I feel like I should put this on hold, just to be on the safe side. That means the lineup is settled. I’ll update the sheet when I can...eesh though. There’s some tough competition this season…

Houseki no Kuni 2

The two moons are a nice touch.

This OP is way cool. It’s such a visual spectacle.

By the way, I’ve heard good things about Girls’ Last Tour so I may binge it next month (November) and it may even challenge for one of the top spots.

Uh, cleavage? Not to use a dirty joke here, but gems are androgynous. They have no cleavage, so to speak.

Oh, Dia’s fighting style is like baseball. I see.

Huh. I should really write about identity and belonging in this series. Dia’s a really interesting character, pretty much denying their own name and nature because they see Bort as the “true diamond”.

“…tried to lend a hand.” – Oh, the irony of you missing a hand, Dia.

Notice Phos is still holding Dia’s hand as she talks with Jade and Euc.

Holy snails, Batman! Arima (Boueibu) wouldn’t like this for sure…

Wow, this truly is a new innovation in anime. Certainly, traditional animation can’t do this.

Wowee, this ED is something else. As I said, it’s tough competition this season. Girls’ Last Tour may even just miss out for the ground-breaking nature of this show alone, even though Kado is its precedent 3D-wise (and on the 3D front, I accepted that very well).

[vixen-vangogh]

polyvore was being a pain in the ass no matter how many words i tried to censor so here’s the life update i meant to put in that set

- have been living in a somewhat stable housing environment for almost a year and four-ish months now which is WILD and a huge record break for me.

- kind of have a partner? we're def QPPs and have been nomadic vagabond companions since like 2015 and have been sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, making life plans together hardcore since then. when i try to explain our relationship to others i explain that we are like Bert and Ernie from sesame street. it's not romantic but it's definitely a very serious thing and there is nothing i could forsee that would face our future that would not be faced together as companions. i was kind of chatting with a buddy the other day who was asking abt stuff and i was mentioning how an aphobe asked, 'how is this different from a best friendship, why do you need to call it a queerplatonic relationship?' and my instinct was to be all, 'well idk i mean i think most best friends don't stick their tongues in each others mouths' but like that said, some best friends do that and its totally legit but the main difference is we call it this because it is more accurate to the intricacies of our relationship.

a best friendship implies different things and a QPR is what we have been calling ourselves for some time.

- have come across the term alterous attraction many many moons ago and have concluded that more or less, this has been the basis for all the experiences of 'attraction' i have thought i felt in other categories. turns out i just love being pro/miscuous and cuddly and affectionate with people and it doesn't necessarily have to have any of the other attractions present. it's just an expression of my alterous attraction. and idk it just seems to make way more sense. someone said it was a commonplace for pre-questioning lesbians to make up to themselves crushes on boys with calculations involved about why this person is attractive.

i think maybe i do experience other forms of attraction but they're seldom enough that it's more anecdotal. and i'm going to call them crushes anyway bc it doesn't matter what i say or do - people are going to be confused by me and who i am and i shouldn't have to sacrifice the nuances involved in who i am and how i live my life to try and get smaller minds to understand it.

and nobody has to understand either. i don't even understand. that's heckin ok bro

- i've been on them 'ro/ids (testosterone) on and off for three months in spring/summer 2016 (androderm) and then the injections for some amount of time this year and there's been a lot of body changes. but mainly i'm looking at nu/des of other people on hormones and realizing like... what if I'm actually inters/ex? it makes no sense for my di/ck to be bigger than people a year on hormones in half the time, does it? like what's up there? and my body is signif hairier in a way that is noticeable to me and my QPP.

last week when I got the inje/ctio/n the nurse (who is a really nice lady? like smiley very friendly maternal type) asked me "how did you know?" without other context or anything.

I didn't really know how to begin because honestly no one had ever asked me that before and it's the one question I needed somebody else to answer back when I was like, 15/recently 16 and needed help finding myself. I wished future me could visit past me and tell me like, "hey jsyk this is what you concluded, here's the answers, and here's all the stuff I've realized about our past experiences that were actually Signs that you're #genderqueer"

and I think, another thing, I wish I could have told the past me, that the laws were going to rapidly change in my lifetime, and also to avoid any cis person who suggests therapy "for hormone starts" because that's what led me to like, 2 years of rather unhelpful talk therapy that turned into lowkey conversion therapy.

No one should ever make you write a sob story about your past before they allow you the autonomy to make decisions about your body.

I gave a little backstory of timeline and told her how my mom kept saying things like, "why are you so offended at the idea of being a woman?" etc and how we don't speak anymore, how I came out in 2011 and every day for the longest time I had to explain to other trans people who the heck I was. how my nonbinaryness was seen more as a delusion despite the fact that I found the wikipedia pages and message boards and I knew there were other people like me out there. I didn't know of another #nonbinary person until 2013 and even then I only met them in passing at a panel they hosted. (we ended up roommates for a bit around 2016 but that's another story)

I stopped having to give #genderqueer 101s to the LGBT+ community around 2014.

And I feel like after that Laverne Cox paved a lot of way for us, and Facebook started putting other genders on there (which I'd signed petitions for years before and considered to be a hoop dream)

and there's been corrective r/a/pe I've gone through and so many tears I've cried and sui/cide attempted and hospital visits

and things are definitely still horrific and I can never afford groceries. I don't eat enough to sustain myself and live on welfare and am too medicated and disabled to work and have tachycardia and PTSD and other complications of my own forced resilience

but I'm on testosterone or whatever and I look at the changes that have gone on and I know that I was a part of that

but I'm never going to get credit for it and it pains me how much I'm suffering because I started advocating earlier than the majority of trans people out today.

if I had come out to my mom years later, would we be speaking?

it doesn't ultimately matter, because if we kept speaking I still would have ended up d/ead. coming out and having her react like that, topped with her steal/ing from me when I was homeless, years of sui/cide baiting, physical + emotional + etc a/buse my whole life, it's miraculous I ever made it out alive

it's so painful but I just have never had the privilege of choice.

- I've been thinking to go back to school maybe and that I need to actually go at it full force with passion because I think I have gotten way too down on myself for the results that have come from my own halfa/ssery of it all. And my own procrastination etc.

I wish I had access to medical care as a child or counselling or something more than I ever did have because maybe I would have excelled in school instead of suffered to try and keep my head above water. I mean, I graduated honours (equivalent).

there's too much about my life to be angsty about.

- also idk if i mentioned this but i got ar/rested for protecting indigenous folks at a thing and it was in the news and im not going to talk much more on it bc of privacy but i'm happy to dig up the video of the pol/ice dragging me away and the crowd shouting (and gendering me right ;u;) "LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO" and i was a pathetic mess thru the whole thing and just had the wrong emotions the whole time and like 3+ reporters tried to get a hold of me for interview but I forwarded them to the indigenous leaders of the ceremony instead

we prayed inside the arre/st tent and put down tobacc/o and held ceremony and the c/ops were horrible and took so much personal offence to everything we were and every reality that happened that they wanted to deny. they banned us from the public land we were arrested on and it was horrible.

it was in the news and justin tr*deau showed up for a photo op and the organizers weren't allowed in their own tipi. he wasn't invited.

those with the land claim to the area made an official statement welcoming us and condemning the go/vernme/nt for arrestin/g us.

nothing was ever done about that bit other than them releasing us and i went to the hospital the next day to get my wrist checked because i couldn't really use it and the handcuf/f bruises and the bruise on my knee was massive. it's been two months and it's only now faded.

twitter blocked the image of us in the a/rrest tent holding hands in prayer with the hand/cuffs on our wrists. they said it contained "sensitive content"

tumblr did the same, calling it "NSFW" (weird bc literally photographs of my actual na/ked body with links to where u can buy videos of me jerkin is not labelled NS/FW automatically lol?????)

i asked tumblr to review that and they still labelled it as such.

it's just so blatantly a genuine broach of free speech and freedom of religion. it was a crimi/nalized religious ceremony and i got between the co/ps and a woman praying.

- i saw Against Me! in march and the mosh pit was extreme and I fell down at some point and like seven people pulled me up and that and the getting arre/sted thing has really hecked up my knees ! i feel like they're mostly healed since but i've not even been kneeling on my mattress for even a second to make sure of this. otherwise it's just been sudden pain for months but as i said, i think they're a lot better now.

- i came forward abt a pr/edatory ex and a few others of their victims came to me to say that they had gone through the same and that they were even more pre/datory than had been with me. i lost quite a lot of friends in the matter bc what i accused them of was extremely serious and came across as vicious on my part.

i'm going to take it as alright though, because i know that i've put what i said out there, and if they have read it at all, they can at least have these ideas in their mind going forward and take precautions. this ex was confronted publically and directly on social media about it and there were several witnesses and screenshots i had to things they did and said. i'm hoping that serves as some kind of warning for them, about their actions that they have confessed to with several people, and how these things will come back for them. that they cannot evade accountability, that i am a force of nature and if you wrong me or do a wrong in my witness with no remorse on your part or apology, i'm not going to let you live it down.

i care and i am tired of hearing horrible stories about them from others. others who came to me saying that i had been painted as an abus/er. because i know ! people see me standing up for myself as threatening all the time. they worry they aren't allowed to make mistakes around me.

no matter how many times i say it or prove it, there's always those people who are too cowardly to admit when they do make mistakes and who go to great lengths to protect their pride and entitlement.

i know we are all growing. i seek environments of mutual support and growth. i am now in a phase of life where i am not giving the time to people who have no interest in these environments. anyone can be my friend, if they are ready for it. but i don't owe it to anybody and anything wrong i have done i am at a point where i feel like i am in touch with my own humility.

and if someone tries to milk it because they think my vulnerability isn't also strength and something that comes with at least some ferocity... well, that's not my problem.

- my rabbit Snicklefritz is doing fine. he's shedding like the dickens this season and mischievous as usual but hopefully one day I can afford to make him an enclosure again and I can let him out only when I can keep track of him.

he's ruined a lot of sketchbooks and a lapdesk my QPP got me for the winter holidays that we are both heartbroken about.

- I am trying to become less attached to material belongings and it has helped me a lot when it comes to coping with all the sentimental items left with my mother or in the various times I've been homeless or left exes etc over the years.

My memories are in my heart and not something that needs to be placed externally, in an item.

Have also trying to go zero waste (like, becoming someone who produces no garbage, just recycling and compost) and it's really been noticeable all these small differences. I buy way more bananas, lettuce, etc. And I've been making bread and spaghetti and whatnot and having windowsill gardens.

- I'm not cured of anything or whatever and I'm angsty 24/7 and broke as heckaroo but there's enough of The Little Things In Life (gardening, youtube videos, kisses, etc) to help me get by in the meantime.

- three days ago a friend (who I consider(ed) chosen family) I had purposefully cut out of my life a year ago showed up on my doorstep to tell me I was right about everything and to apologize for all the wrongs. That they reread conversations we had around then and that they have grown and grown into a better place. They were 18 then and 19 now. We were from the same hometown and they're still there but moving to my city in December. I missed them so much and they stayed with me a few days. I feel a bigger sense of home in this city knowing they're going to live here soon too.

- I've been Really Intensely looking thru my DNA and geneology stuff since last winter. For some reason Indian (like, South Asia) shows up in my DNA and some southern Europe/Northern Africa/Middle East kind of region. My father was adopted via a stepdad and I figure this comes from his bio dad. Or maybe it doesn't, I don't really know. My maternal haplotype is supposed to be one that's generally found in African populations which throws that whole theory. My mom and me also had to use hair picks (afro picks) when I was growing up because our hair was so naturally thick and the waves really tangled up. Every time we went to get my hair cut in that white rural town the hairdressers would comment how they'd never seen such thick hair before etc. I'm still struggling greatly to find answers because everybody's last name is phoenetically weird except for my dad's mom's line which has an extremely Cornwall last name and anyone with that name is definitely part of that family.

Doing research to find what I was told growing up (that I was Kanien'keha:ka via my maternal grandmother's grandmother) has been very difficult because I'm not sure which grandmother of hers it was, and one of them seemed to remarry several times and I cannot be sure of any of the surnames being a maiden name. It's also really hard to know what the spelling was supposed to be because it was written phoenetically. But I think that one's likely English anyway. The other one I haven't reached yet but my grandmother's father's father seemed to be from a Metis community outside a reserve where I remember being told we had ancestors. It seems we're descendants of some really famous anglo Metis folk. I've not figured out the specific links to lock the names all into place properly in my family tree but it's the surname and the small community that are an exact match and on the message boards.

It's a lot to think about. I've been struggling with my racial identity for a long time and regardless of nuances and ethnic identity I feel like I'm just doing this research to seem special or more interesting or to branch out my activism. DNA is not ever going to tell me who my ancestors were, just the locations a small handful of random specific ancestors lived. Family trees are going to help, but they're not going to help me too much as someone who doesn't actually have blood family I'm in contact with really.

I might see if I can get in touch with an older cousin I have on Pinterest because she seemed to be the only one (besides my younger cousin) who really ever sent me vaguely kind gestures after I came out. She was the only one who seemed to be supportive when I did my grandma's eulogy. (Aside from my sibling who went up with me. But I don't speak to my sibling for other reasons.)

I have a paternal cousin as well but we're more half-cousins as my dad's mom had a few different men in her life and I don't actually know if he does have full bio-siblings. I don't really know if it's worth it to reach out to her because with all the technicalities and separations and adoptions and half-relatives I don't know whether I can ask her to ask around, or if I can just ask her, or what.

Anyway whatever it's just easiest to explain my ethnicity as being Metis because talking with others and stuff it seems like maybe this is the best way to label myself, to explain my complicated history and acknowledge that my blood ties are not what makes me me, but rather my ethnic ties. I have traditions and beliefs and ancestors I'm reconnecting with and trying to find.

Not all my ancestors were great people. But it is interesting as heck to learn about them. (Especially seeing pictures and some of the weirder resemblances from like, 5th great grandparents.)

Also one of my greats of grandparents crossed the US-Canada border several times in his life and near the end of them the border agent wrote "seems odd" on the thing and I haven't found any explanation for why he was crossing the border either lol which is pretty dang interesting imo.

- anyway idk I think I'm good ?? have been getting a lot of new interests and hobbies lately which feels good, feels right

i'm getting muscles because of them hormones and probably eating healthier or whatever and drinking more water and just livin life as best i can

could use some more dollars however but what can u do when welfare doesn't go up to match minimum costs of living haha :)

[seopt58147]

Master These 3 Things and Your SEO Plan Will Come Together

Master These 3 Things and Your SEO Plan Will Come Together

Master These 3 Things and Your SEO Plan Will Come Together written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

Let’s de-mystify search engine optimization. I want to help you understand that SEO is not only important, but it’s something you should really master to a degree for your business. You should have the ability to handle SEO on your own, or at least be able to find somebody that is reputable and not just trying to rip you off.

First and foremost, SEO must be built into your overall marketing strategy from the beginning. Unlike the old days where people would build websites and then want to “SEO it all” once the website is complete, today they work in conjunction with one another in order to achieve the results you desire. Bottom line, today everything has to be infused with your SEO strategy.

On top of that, to be effective you must understand who your ideal client is and what core message you want to convey. Once you have that down, you can go to work on an editorial plan that helps to make content the voice of your strategy. Your website should be scheduled around that key content.

So, how do you get started down this SEO journey? Don’t worry, it’s not as intimidating as it may seem. I’ve broken the most important components of a sound SEO strategy into three categories. Let’s get to it.

Keyword content

Keyword research is a practice SEO professionals use to find and research actual search terms that people enter into search engines. At the end of the day, the root of SEO is keyword research. By this, I don’t just mean keywords, but keyword phrases as well. Keywords are a strategic part of understanding any businesses. Having a clear understanding of the terms that people search for gives you great insight into their intent and what they are looking for.

It can be easy to be blinded by the jargon within your industry which is why keyword research is so important. It allows you to see what people are actually searching for. Although you may think you know what they are typing into search engines, that is often not the case.

So, how do you conduct keyword research?

Start by making a list

This will help you gather ideas of what your audience may be searching for. To start the list, consider the following:

Brainstorm – Think back to emails, phone calls, and other areas customers may have voiced questions or problems and start putting a list together that could lead you to common keywords.

Wikipedia – The table of contents on a given topic can be very helpful for adding keywords to your list.

Google related terms – These are the terms that appear at the bottom of search engine results pages that show terms that are related or similar to the one you typed in.

The point of all this is to structure the content on your website around 10-12 keyword phrases to create content that is relevant for your audience.

Google Keyword Planner

When it comes to keyword research, the Google Keyword Planner is the workhorse of most small businesses. This tool is currently available to anyone who has an AdWords account. It allows you to type in any search term and it will give you recommend keywords and the number of searches it receives each month. It will also show you suggested bids, so if something is highly searched and has a high bid, then there’s a good chance that that term must be converting because people are willing to pay more for it in AdWords.

Niche themes

Once you develop your foundational keywords, you can really start building your content. A few tools I like to use include:

Keywordtool.io – It will actually show questions that people are asking around a term, which is a great way to discover phrases and understand intent.

Google Trends – This is great for businesses that have products or services that rely on seasonality.

Auto-complete in search engine results pages (SERPs) – In addition to related terms, I also take a look at the auto-complete phrase Google will show as a dropdown while you’re typing in your search term. These phrases are often very useful.

The content connection

Once you have one to two dozen search terms down as well as ~6 foundational terms, you can tie it to content. In addition to site structure, I suggest that you pick out a theme for each month based on keyword research. This makes content development much more streamlined and helps to ensure you get the content needed for Google to recognize you as an authority within that given theme.

At this point, I want to bring up one of my favorite tools: BuzzSumo. While it is a paid tool, in my opinion, it’s worth the investment. You can put in any search term and it will show you the most-shared content for that term to give you great content ideas but also an understanding of where interest lies.

On-Page SEO Basics

Once you start writing the content, there’s another important factor: on-page SEO. On-page SEO represents the tactics you can implement on the page itself to help you get found in search engine results. Be sure to include your keywords in the following areas to increase the odds of getting found in search engine results:

Copy

Header tags

URL

Page title

Meta description

Alt text

While it’s important to use keywords in these areas, don’t keyword stuff! Google will penalize you for it.

Yoast is a great WordPress plugin that allows you to make sure your on-page factors are well-optimized. You can also put in your focus keyword and it will assess whether or not you used it enough within the key areas.

Authority signals

Signals are all the other things that aren’t on your website that contribute to SEO.

Authority signals are often underestimated but are huge. Back in the day, link building was a numbers game, and people were gaming the system by purchasing links in hopes that the more links they had, the more search engines would recognize them. Search engines took note and began penalizing folks for going about it this way. Today, while link building is still important and relevant for SEO, it’s much more about quality vs. quantity.

To get quality links today, consider getting links from associations and strategic partners, or even through guest blogging on other sites that drive traffic back to your own. Using a tool like Ahrefs, you can look at competitors and see where they’re getting their links from to help you build your link building strategy and to get ideas of who else you should be reaching out to.

In my opinion, one of the best places to get links is from websites that are running guest content that link back to your site. In addition to blogs, consider reaching out to a podcast within your industry that will link back to you in show notes and through mentions in the episode itself.

Bonus consideration – Local SEO

For businesses who do most of their business in their own community, there are other SEO considerations to factor in in addition to those I mentioned above. A few things to consider include:

Do you have a claimed and optimized Google My Business Listing (and only one per business location) with:

Name address and phone number

An accurate category

Reviews

Images or video

Does your homepage include your name, local address, and local phone number?

Does Google display an optimized snippet in search engine results pages?

Are you listed consistently across directories (Yext is a great tool to help you clean up your listings)?

Are you creating local content?

All of these are ranking factors when people are looking for businesses locally, so be sure to pay special attention to these if you fall into the local category in order to rank above your competition.

As you can see, search engine optimization really doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective. By mastering the recommendations above, you’ll be well on your way to putting together a solid SEO plan.

http://ift.tt/2v20VrZ

[piatty29033]

Master These 3 Things and Your SEO Plan Will Come Together

Master These 3 Things and Your SEO Plan Will Come Together

Master These 3 Things and Your SEO Plan Will Come Together written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

Let’s de-mystify search engine optimization. I want to help you understand that SEO is not only important, but it’s something you should really master to a degree for your business. You should have the ability to handle SEO on your own, or at least be able to find somebody that is reputable and not just trying to rip you off.

First and foremost, SEO must be built into your overall marketing strategy from the beginning. Unlike the old days where people would build websites and then want to “SEO it all” once the website is complete, today they work in conjunction with one another in order to achieve the results you desire. Bottom line, today everything has to be infused with your SEO strategy.

On top of that, to be effective you must understand who your ideal client is and what core message you want to convey. Once you have that down, you can go to work on an editorial plan that helps to make content the voice of your strategy. Your website should be scheduled around that key content.

So, how do you get started down this SEO journey? Don’t worry, it’s not as intimidating as it may seem. I’ve broken the most important components of a sound SEO strategy into three categories. Let’s get to it.

Keyword content

Keyword research is a practice SEO professionals use to find and research actual search terms that people enter into search engines. At the end of the day, the root of SEO is keyword research. By this, I don’t just mean keywords, but keyword phrases as well. Keywords are a strategic part of understanding any businesses. Having a clear understanding of the terms that people search for gives you great insight into their intent and what they are looking for.

It can be easy to be blinded by the jargon within your industry which is why keyword research is so important. It allows you to see what people are actually searching for. Although you may think you know what they are typing into search engines, that is often not the case.

So, how do you conduct keyword research?

Start by making a list

This will help you gather ideas of what your audience may be searching for. To start the list, consider the following:

Brainstorm – Think back to emails, phone calls, and other areas customers may have voiced questions or problems and start putting a list together that could lead you to common keywords.

Wikipedia – The table of contents on a given topic can be very helpful for adding keywords to your list.

Google related terms – These are the terms that appear at the bottom of search engine results pages that show terms that are related or similar to the one you typed in.

The point of all this is to structure the content on your website around 10-12 keyword phrases to create content that is relevant for your audience.

Google Keyword Planner

When it comes to keyword research, the Google Keyword Planner is the workhorse of most small businesses. This tool is currently available to anyone who has an AdWords account. It allows you to type in any search term and it will give you recommend keywords and the number of searches it receives each month. It will also show you suggested bids, so if something is highly searched and has a high bid, then there’s a good chance that that term must be converting because people are willing to pay more for it in AdWords.

Niche themes

Once you develop your foundational keywords, you can really start building your content. A few tools I like to use include:

Keywordtool.io – It will actually show questions that people are asking around a term, which is a great way to discover phrases and understand intent.

Google Trends – This is great for businesses that have products or services that rely on seasonality.

Auto-complete in search engine results pages (SERPs) – In addition to related terms, I also take a look at the auto-complete phrase Google will show as a dropdown while you’re typing in your search term. These phrases are often very useful.

The content connection

Once you have one to two dozen search terms down as well as ~6 foundational terms, you can tie it to content. In addition to site structure, I suggest that you pick out a theme for each month based on keyword research. This makes content development much more streamlined and helps to ensure you get the content needed for Google to recognize you as an authority within that given theme.

At this point, I want to bring up one of my favorite tools: BuzzSumo. While it is a paid tool, in my opinion, it’s worth the investment. You can put in any search term and it will show you the most-shared content for that term to give you great content ideas but also an understanding of where interest lies.

On-Page SEO Basics

Once you start writing the content, there’s another important factor: on-page SEO. On-page SEO represents the tactics you can implement on the page itself to help you get found in search engine results. Be sure to include your keywords in the following areas to increase the odds of getting found in search engine results:

Copy

Header tags

URL

Page title

Meta description

Alt text

While it’s important to use keywords in these areas, don’t keyword stuff! Google will penalize you for it.

Yoast is a great WordPress plugin that allows you to make sure your on-page factors are well-optimized. You can also put in your focus keyword and it will assess whether or not you used it enough within the key areas.

Authority signals

Signals are all the other things that aren’t on your website that contribute to SEO.

Authority signals are often underestimated but are huge. Back in the day, link building was a numbers game, and people were gaming the system by purchasing links in hopes that the more links they had, the more search engines would recognize them. Search engines took note and began penalizing folks for going about it this way. Today, while link building is still important and relevant for SEO, it’s much more about quality vs. quantity.

To get quality links today, consider getting links from associations and strategic partners, or even through guest blogging on other sites that drive traffic back to your own. Using a tool like Ahrefs, you can look at competitors and see where they’re getting their links from to help you build your link building strategy and to get ideas of who else you should be reaching out to.

In my opinion, one of the best places to get links is from websites that are running guest content that link back to your site. In addition to blogs, consider reaching out to a podcast within your industry that will link back to you in show notes and through mentions in the episode itself.

Bonus consideration – Local SEO

For businesses who do most of their business in their own community, there are other SEO considerations to factor in in addition to those I mentioned above. A few things to consider include:

Do you have a claimed and optimized Google My Business Listing (and only one per business location) with:

Name address and phone number

An accurate category

Reviews

Images or video

Does your homepage include your name, local address, and local phone number?

Does Google display an optimized snippet in search engine results pages?

Are you listed consistently across directories (Yext is a great tool to help you clean up your listings)?

Are you creating local content?

All of these are ranking factors when people are looking for businesses locally, so be sure to pay special attention to these if you fall into the local category in order to rank above your competition.

As you can see, search engine optimization really doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective. By mastering the recommendations above, you’ll be well on your way to putting together a solid SEO plan.

http://ift.tt/2v20VrZ