#i look into the mirror and see the same face ive always seen

[helios-co]

I cannot help but feel that everything I've ever read has been more real than the hands held up in front of my face

[baelabong]

ᴜɴᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴇᴍɪꜱᴛʀʏ

ɪᴅᴏʟ!ʏᴜᴊɪɴ x ɪᴅᴏʟ!ꜰᴇᴍʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

plot: yujin hates you (no she doesnt)

notes: fluff, lowkey mean yujin, uhm interesting ending, 4.5k words

You were in the middle of rehearsals with your group, sweat dripping down your forehead as you practiced the same routine for what felt like the hundredth time. The music blared from the speakers, and you were so focused on perfecting the steps that you almost missed the buzz of your phone vibrating on the floor next to your water bottle. During a quick break, you grabbed it, expecting just another routine notification.

But as you glanced at the screen, your eyes widened in shock.

“BREAKING: LE SSERAFIM’s Y/N and IVE’s Yujin to Perform a Special Stage at the MAMA Awards!”

Your heart immediately began to race. Yujin. You were paired with Yujin. The thought sent a wave of nervous excitement through you, but it also made your stomach churn with anxiety. Yujin, with her cool, enigmatic persona that captivated everyone who saw her, was practically your opposite. You, with your vibrant, extroverted stage presence, had always thrived on energy and enthusiasm, while Yujin was known for her composed and almost mysterious demeanor.

How on earth was this pairing supposed to work?

You barely noticed when Kazuha walked into the practice room, her face glowing with curiosity. She’d clearly seen the same news you had.

“Hey, did you see the news?” Kazuha asked, her voice a mix of excitement and concern.

You nodded, still staring at your phone as if the words might change if you looked away. “Yeah, I saw it. I… I can’t believe it. Yujin… out of all people.”

Kazuha chuckled lightly, leaning against the wall. “What? Are you nervous?”

You let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through your hair. “Nervous? More like terrified,” you admitted. “She’s just so… *cool*. I’m the complete opposite. How are we supposed to make this work?”

Kazuha gave you a teasing grin, trying to lighten the mood. “Opposites attract, right? Maybe this is your chance to balance each other out.”

You sighed, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. “Or completely crash and burn,” you muttered. “I don’t even know if she likes me. She’s always so distant… what if she doesn’t even want to do this?”

Kazuha’s expression softened as she placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, you’re amazing at what you do. If anyone can make this work, it’s you. You’ve faced challenges before, and you’ve come out stronger every time.”

You appreciated her words, but the anxiety still gnawed at you. Yujin wasn’t just any challenge—she was *Yujin*. How were you supposed to find common ground with someone who seemed so different from you?

“I just don’t want to mess this up,” you admitted quietly. “This is a huge opportunity, and if we don’t click on stage, everyone’s going to notice.”

Kazuha nodded, understanding the pressure you were feeling. “Just take it one step at a time. You don’t have to figure everything out right away. Maybe Yujin is just as nervous as you are.”

The thought had never crossed your mind. Yujin, nervous? It seemed impossible, but maybe, just maybe, beneath that calm exterior, she was feeling the same apprehension.

“Yeah, maybe,” you said, though you weren’t entirely convinced. “I guess I’ll just have to find out.”

“Exactly. And who knows? You might surprise each other,” Kazuha said with a supportive smile. “Just remember, you’re Y/N. You’ve got this.”

——

You arrived at the practice room a bit earlier than usual, trying to get your nerves under control before she showed up. The news that you’d be performing a special stage with Yujin from IVE had thrown you for a loop. The two of you were supposed to cover an intimate dance to Taeyang and Jimin’s “VIBE,” and the thought of it was both thrilling and terrifying.

When you walked in, you found Yujin already there, stretching by the mirrors. She looked as poised as ever, her movements fluid and graceful. For a moment, you hesitated, your heart pounding as you watched her. You’d always admired her from afar—her cool, enigmatic presence on stage was mesmerizing—but working this closely with her was something else entirely.

“Hey, Yujin,” you called out, trying to sound more confident than you felt. “Ready to rehearse?”

Yujin looked up and gave you a small nod. “Yeah, let’s get started.”

The two of you began running through the choreography, the sensual moves of “VIBE” requiring you to be in sync, your bodies close as you danced. You quickly noticed how different your styles were—where you liked to add bursts of energy and playful flair, Yujin was all about control, each move deliberate and precise.

As the music played, you couldn’t help but add your own twist to a particular sequence, hoping to make the performance more dynamic. But as soon as you did, Yujin stopped, a slight frown on her face.

“Let’s stick to the routine,” she said firmly, her voice cool but not unkind.

You paused, a bit taken aback. “I just thought we could add a little more emotion, make it more... engaging. This dance is all about the connection, right?”

Yujin’s expression didn’t change. “We need to be precise if we want to pull this off. Improvising could throw off our timing.”

You sighed, trying to keep your frustration in check. “I get that, but this dance is about more than just the steps. It’s about the chemistry between us. We need to show that we’re feeling the music, not just following a script.”

Yujin crossed her arms, looking at you with those unreadable eyes. “And we will. But we can’t afford to make mistakes on stage. If we mess up, it won’t just be obvious—it’ll ruin the entire mood.”

You opened your mouth to argue but stopped yourself, realizing that pushing her would only make things worse. The rest of the rehearsal passed with the same underlying tension, your enthusiasm clashing with Yujin’s insistence on precision. By the time you wrapped up for the day, the air between you was thick with unspoken frustration.

—————-

The next day, you arrived at the practice room earlier, determined to smooth things over after the tension from yesterday. You needed to talk to Yujin, but as soon as you walked in, you could feel the heavy atmosphere. Yujin was already there, sitting on the floor, scrolling through her phone with an irritated expression.

You hesitated for a moment before setting down your bag and beginning to stretch, hoping to ease into the conversation. As you reached up to stretch your arms, you caught Yujin staring at you in the mirror. Her eyes quickly darted away, and you noticed a faint flush on her cheeks.

“Uh, morning,” you said, trying to sound casual, even though the moment was charged with unspoken tension.

“Morning,” Yujin replied curtly, her tone cold, as she looked back at her phone, her expression hardening once more.

You sighed internally, realizing this wasn’t going to be easy. “Listen, about yesterday…”

Yujin cut you off, her voice sharp. “What about it? You didn’t want to stick to the routine, and I did. Simple as that.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the edge in her voice. “I wasn’t trying to mess things up, Yujin. I just thought—”

“You thought what?” she snapped, her eyes flashing as she finally looked up at you. “That you knew better? That your little flourishes would somehow make everything perfect?”

You felt your face flush with a mix of embarrassment and frustration. “That’s not fair. I was just trying to bring more emotion into the performance. This song is about connection, about the vibe between us. We can’t just go through the motions.”

Yujin scoffed, getting to her feet. “And I suppose you think I don’t understand that? That I don’t know how to connect with an audience?”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” you protested, feeling your patience start to fray. “I know you’re amazing at what you do, but we’re supposed to be working together. We need to find a way to make both our styles work.”

Yujin crossed her arms, glaring at you. “You don’t get it, do you? We’re not here to experiment. We’re here to deliver a flawless performance. If you can’t stick to the plan, then maybe you’re the one who needs to adjust.”

Her words stung, the accusation hanging in the air between you. For a moment, you were speechless, trying to figure out how to respond.

Finally, you took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. “Look, I get that you’re under pressure. We both are. But I’m not trying to sabotage anything. I just think we can make this performance more than just technically perfect. We can make it unforgettable.”

Yujin’s expression softened just a fraction, though her eyes were still hard. “Fine,” she said after a long pause, her voice grudging. “We’ll try it your way. But if it doesn’t work, we’re doing it my way, no questions asked.”

You nodded, relieved that she was at least willing to compromise, even if she wasn’t happy about it. “Deal.”

Yujin turned away, her posture still stiff as she walked back to the center of the room. “Let’s just get this over with.”

————

It had been a tough few days. The pressure of preparing for the upcoming performance, combined with the lingering tension between you and Yujin, was starting to take its toll. You could feel the stress building inside you, making it hard to focus, let alone enjoy what you were doing. As you headed to the dressing room for a short break, you couldn't help but sigh, wishing for just a little relief from the constant strain.

When you walked into the dressing room, your eyes immediately fell on something unusual—a small, neatly wrapped box sitting on the counter. Puzzled, you walked over to it and hesitated for a moment before picking it up. The box wasn’t labeled, and there was no note attached. Curiosity piqued, you carefully opened it to reveal an assortment of your favorite snacks.

For a moment, you just stared at the contents, feeling a rush of surprise and warmth. Whoever had left these had clearly put some thought into it. The timing was perfect—exactly when you needed a bit of comfort. But who could have known that? And more importantly, who would have taken the time to do something like this for you?

You turned the box over in your hands, searching for any clue about the sender, but there was nothing. It left you both puzzled and touched, a small smile forming on your lips despite the stress you’d been feeling. It was a simple gesture, but it meant more to you than words could express.

Later, during a break in rehearsals, you sat down near Yujin, who was scrolling through her phone with a relaxed, almost indifferent expression. The air between you two had been less strained since your last conversation, but things were still a bit awkward. You decided to mention the snacks, partly out of curiosity and partly to share a bit of your day.

“Someone left these snacks for me in the dressing room earlier,” you said, trying to keep your tone light and casual. “It was a nice surprise, but I can’t figure out who did it.”

Yujin barely looked up from her phone, her voice calm and disinterested. “You looked like you needed something to lift your spirits. Don’t think too much about it.”

Her words took a moment to register. When they did, you turned to look at her, your eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Wait… you’re the one who left them?”

Yujin shrugged, still not meeting your gaze, as if it wasn’t worth making a big deal out of. “Yeah. Like I said, don’t overthink it. It’s just some snacks.”

You were taken aback, not just by the gesture but by how casually she brushed it off. This was the same Yujin who had been so distant, so critical during rehearsals, and now she was the one who had gone out of her way to do something kind for you? It didn’t fit the image you had of her, and that only made it more surprising.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect that from you,” you admitted, your voice tinged with disbelief. “You always seem so… I don’t know, focused on work.”

Yujin finally glanced up at you, her expression as unreadable as ever. “Just because I’m focused doesn’t mean I don’t notice things. You looked stressed, so I figured a little something might help. That’s all.”

You stared at her, unsure how to respond. It was clear she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but the gesture meant more to you than she realized. It wasn’t just about the snacks—it was the fact that she’d noticed your stress and had taken it upon herself to do something about it, even if she wouldn’t admit it outright.

“Thank you,” you said softly, your gratitude evident in your tone.

Yujin gave a slight nod, already returning her attention to her phone. “Yeah, whatever. Just don’t expect it to become a habit.”

————

The rumor mill had been in overdrive since yesterday, with whispers about you and TXT's Yeonjun supposedly being spotted together. You’d tried to ignore it, but the tension was palpable, especially during rehearsals. Yujin, who had been cold and distant since the rumors started, was even more aloof than usual. It was hard not to notice the way she avoided eye contact, her responses clipped and short whenever you tried to talk to her.

Today’s rehearsal was particularly rough. You were struggling with the choreography, your mind too distracted by the swirling rumors and Yujin’s sudden coldness. Every time you missed a step or stumbled, you could feel the frustration building inside you, and it didn’t help that Yujin seemed to be watching you, her expression unreadable.

What you didn’t notice was how, subtly and without a word, Yujin began adjusting the routine. She simplified certain moves, made transitions smoother, all without drawing attention to herself. By the time you finished the session, you were exhausted but relieved that the choreography seemed easier, more manageable.

As you sat down to catch your breath, you started to realize something had changed. The routine was definitely different, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on how or when it had happened.

“Did someone change the routine?” you asked aloud, looking around at the others. “It’s a bit easier now… not that I’m complaining.”

Yujin, who had been stretching nearby, looked up briefly, her tone flat as she replied. “We all agreed on it. It’s just a small adjustment, nothing worth mentioning.”

You blinked, surprised by her nonchalance. “I didn’t even notice. Thanks… I guess.”

Yujin shrugged, her eyes focused on something in the distance. “No need for thanks. It’s just what needed to be done.”

There was something about the way she said it—so detached, so indifferent—that made you feel uneasy. It was as if she was trying to distance herself, to make it clear that this was purely professional, nothing more.

As you continued to watch her, a knot formed in your stomach. The rumor with Yeonjun couldn’t possibly be bothering her, could it? Yujin was always so composed, so focused on her work. But now, with the way she was acting, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more behind her cold shoulder.

As you started to leave the practice room, Yujin suddenly called out, her voice cutting through the quiet. “Y/N, can we talk for a minute?”

You turned back, surprised. “Sure, what’s up?”

Yujin waited until the room had cleared out, her expression unreadable. Once you were alone, she looked at you directly, her eyes sharp. “Is there something going on between you and Yeonjun? I’ve been hearing a lot of talk lately.”

Your heart skipped a beat, caught off guard by her bluntness. “Why do you ask?”

Yujin crossed her arms, her gaze unwavering. “Just curious. Or maybe I’m just tired of the rumors affecting our work.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could say anything, Yujin’s phone buzzed loudly. She glanced at the screen and her face momentarily froze. “Forget it,” she said quickly, her voice suddenly distant. “It’s not important. We should get back to practice.”

You watched her, a mix of confusion and concern on your face. “Yujin, wait—”

But Yujin was already walking away, her phone clutched tightly in her hand.

————-

The day of the awards show had arrived, and the backstage area buzzed with frenetic energy. Performers were rushing around, finalizing their looks and going through last-minute preparations. The atmosphere was electric, but for you, it was tinged with a heavy layer of stress. You tried to stay focused and calm, but the weight of the recent tensions with Yujin and the pressure of the performance made it difficult.

As you paced backstage, rehearsing your routine in your mind, you accidentally bumped into Yujin, who was in the midst of adjusting her elaborate outfit. Your water bottle slipped from your hand, and a splash of water hit her dress, leaving a noticeable wet stain.

Yujin’s eyes widened as she looked down at her ruined outfit. Her calm, collected demeanor shattered in an instant. “Great, now my outfit is ruined! Can’t you be more careful?” Her voice was sharp, her frustration evident.

You froze, your face turning crimson with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Yujin cut you off before you could finish, her irritation turning into a biting reprimand. “You’re always so careless. This is important, and you’re not taking it seriously.”

Your nerves were already frayed, and her harsh words only served to heighten your anxiety. “I am taking it seriously! I’m just trying to stay positive in a stressful situation. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

The tension between you two was palpable. You could see the frustration etched on Yujin’s face, and it mirrored your own feelings of distress. The stress of the performance, combined with the unresolved tension from the previous day, was taking a toll on both of you.

Yujin’s anger seemed to hang in the air, mingling with the general chaos of the backstage area. For a moment, neither of you said anything, the silence thick with unspoken words and mounting frustration.

Then, after a tense pause, Yujin let out a deep breath and reached into her bag. She pulled out a clean towel and handed it to you, her expression softening just a touch. “Here. Use this to clean up the mess.”

You took the towel, the gesture slightly easing the tension. “Thanks,” you said quietly, trying to keep your voice steady despite the lingering hurt.

Yujin nodded curtly, her gaze briefly meeting yours before she turned away to deal with her outfit. “Just… be more careful next time,” she said, her tone less harsh but still carrying a note of frustration.

You wiped up the water, feeling a mixture of relief and lingering discomfort. The backstage environment, usually a place of camaraderie and support, felt strained and charged with unresolved issues. The weight of Yujin’s irritation and the recent rumors about you and Yeonjun were hanging heavily over both of you.

As you worked to clean up the mess, you stole a glance at Yujin. She was busy adjusting her outfit, her movements quick and purposeful. It was clear she was trying to maintain her composure, but the stress was evident in the way she handled her costume. You wondered if the rumors had been affecting her more than she let on.

With the clock ticking down to your performance, you took a deep breath, trying to focus on the task at hand. You knew you had to push aside the personal tensions and give it your all on stage. The performance was about to begin, and despite everything, it was your moment to shine.

As you prepared to step out onto the stage, Yujin’s earlier comment echoed in your mind. The unresolved tension between you was a heavy weight, but you had to concentrate on the performance and hope that, once it was over, you could find a way to address the lingering issues.

The moment you stepped into the spotlight, the excitement of the audience and the adrenaline of the performance took over. But as you glanced back at Yujin, waiting in the wings, you couldn’t shake the feeling that the unresolved tension between you was far from over.

—————

The awards show had concluded, and the green room was abuzz with post-performance excitement. You and Yujin, having navigated through the highs and lows of the day, found a quiet corner away from the crowd. The initial hostility and tension between you had eased considerably, giving way to a newfound understanding and mutual respect. The performance had gone off without a hitch, and the camaraderie you’d developed during the stressful preparations was evident in your interaction.

You sat side by side on a plush couch, the room’s lights dimmed and the noise of the celebration muffled. There was a moment of silence as both of you caught your breath and reflected on the journey that had brought you to this point.

“I was so wrong about you,” you said, breaking the silence. “I thought we’d never get along.”

Yujin glanced at you, her expression a mix of curiosity and nonchalance. “People aren’t always what they seem.”

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. “I guess I’m starting to see that. Thanks for everything… even the things you pretend you didn’t do.”

Yujin smirked, her eyes meeting yours with a hint of amusement. “You’re welcome, I guess.”

The conversation seemed to settle into a comfortable rhythm until Yujin suddenly took a deep breath, as if gathering her thoughts for something significant. She turned to you, her usual composure giving way to a more vulnerable demeanor.

“Y/N, there’s something I need to say,” Yujin began, her voice slightly shaky. “I’ve been trying to keep my feelings in check because, well, I know you’re supposedly with Yeonjun and all. I’ve been... you know, trying not to get too involved. But I just—”

She fumbled for words, her usual calm demeanor giving way to an awkward babble. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t like me back or anything. I understand that you’re with him, and it’s fine. I just thought, maybe, if I didn’t say anything, I could avoid making things weird. But now that we’ve been through all this, I thought I should at least be honest. I really like you, Y/N. Like, a lot. And it’s totally fine if you don’t feel the same way. I mean, I wouldn’t blame you. I just didn’t want to leave things unsaid…”

She trailed off, her eyes wide with a mixture of anxiety and resignation. She stared at you, waiting for a reaction, clearly unsure of how her confession had landed.

You listened to Yujin’s confession, unable to hold back a chuckle as you took in her babbling. The way she had blurted everything out, her anxiety palpable, struck you as both endearing and amusing.

Yujin’s face flushed with embarrassment as she watched your reaction. “Did I—say something wrong? I mean, you’re laughing…”

You shook your head, a warm smile spreading across your face. “No, it’s not that. I’m not actually dating Yeonjun.”

Yujin blinked, clearly taken aback. “You’re not?”

You shook your head again, laughing softly. “Nope. It was just a rumor. I thought it would die down, but it’s been hanging around.”

Yujin’s confusion slowly transformed into relief and then into a hopeful smile. “Oh… well, that’s a relief. I mean, it makes things a lot clearer.”

As you both sat there, Yujin’s phone buzzed, and she checked it briefly. Her eyes widened slightly, and she looked back at you with a more serious expression. “Actually, there’s something else I need to tell you. It’s about—”

Before she could finish, Yunjin walked into the green room, her presence immediately noticeable. Her eyes met yours, and she gave you a warm, somewhat surprised smile.

“Hey, Y/N. Yujin,” she said, her gaze shifting between you and Yujin. “I heard you two did great out there.”

You immediately saw your chance to clear things up. You stood up and practically threw yourself into Yunjin’s arms, hugging her tightly. “See, baby? I told you I’m not dating Yeonjun!”

Yunjin chuckled softly, wrapping her arms around you and stroking your back. “I know, love. I’m glad to see you two working things out.”

Yujin’s face flushed with realization as she watched the affectionate exchange. “Wait… you two are...?”

Yunjin smiled and nodded, giving you a reassuring look. “Yes, Y/N and I have been together for a while. I guess the rumor about Yeonjun was just that—a rumor.”

Yujin’s expression shifted from embarrassment to a mix of understanding and relief. “Oh… I see. I’m really sorry for the misunderstanding, then.”

As Yujin tried to compose herself, she glanced at you with a mixture of sadness and regret. “Well, now that everything’s clear, I guess I should go…”

You reached out, your heart sinking as you saw the hurt in Yujin’s eyes. “Yujin, wait…”

Yunjin’s eyes flicked between you and Yujin, sensing the tension. “Is everything okay?”

You turned back to Yujin, feeling a pang of guilt. “I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. I’m really sorry if I—”

Yujin shook her head, trying to hide her feelings behind a mask of composure. “It’s okay. I just... didn’t realize how complicated things were.”

As Yujin walked away, you watched her go with a heavy heart, torn between your affection for Yunjin and the unexpected connection you felt with Yujin. The complexities of the situation left you feeling uncertain. You turned to Yunjin, who looked at you with concern.

“Are you alright?” Yunjin asked softly, sensing your turmoil.

You sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. “I just feel bad. I didn’t mean for things to get so complicated.”

Yunjin took your hand, her eyes searching yours. “We’ll figure it out. For now, let’s focus on us.”

As you and Yunjin embraced, you couldn’t help but think about Yujin. The connection you had felt with her, the way she had been there for you despite everything, left you questioning your own feelings. You wondered if there was something more there, something you hadn't fully acknowledged until now.

The night ended with lingering uncertainties. As you held onto Yunjin, your mind drifted back to Yujin, and you felt a pang of regret. The possibility of having feelings for both of them was daunting, but the truth was you were deeply conflicted.

[n0vazsq]

Ice Princess | Pau Cubarsi x Reader

pairing . . . pau cubarsi x gf!skater!reader

summary . . . When you're scared about your upcoming competition, Pau makes it his mission to comfort you

request . . . no!!

word count . . . 1.3k+

warnings . . . none!

faceclaim . . . N/A

alexavia yaps . . . ice princess is one of my fav movies of all time so ofc i had to make a fic out of it <33 also fluff bc i feel bad about all the angst ive written so yeah!! hope you guys enjoy <3

taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

. . . The arena was nearly empty, the distant hum of the Zamboni echoing through the cold air. You sat on the edge of the rink, nervously tightening the laces on your skates, the cold biting at your fingertips.

The competition was less than twenty four hours away, and despite weeks of preparation, anxiety filled your stomach. The stillness and shine of the ice mirrored your reflection, a still figure on the rink.

Pau leaned against the railing, his gaze fixed on you with that soft, thoughtful expression he always had when he thought you couldn’t see. His presence had become a comforting, quiet thing you didn’t know you needed until it was there.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice low, filled with gentle encouragement.

You let out a shaky breath, meeting his eyes. "I think so…"

He grinned, the corners of his lips pulling up in a way that always made your heart skip a beat. "You always say that. And then you go out there and prove everyone wrong."

You laughed, the sound filled with nervousness. "This isn’t exactly the same, Pau. It’s not just practice. The regionals are tomorrow. I can’t mess this up."

He walked over, crouching down in front of you so you had no choice but to look at him. His hands found yours, warm and steady despite the cold. "You won’t. I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked for this. You’ve got this."

For a moment, you didn’t say anything, just held his gaze. It wasn’t just the competition that had your nerves on edge, it was the pressure you put on yourself. The long hours of training, the early mornings, the sacrifices.

Sometimes it felt like you were skating on thin ice, trying not to fall through.

"You’re not in this alone, you know," Pau said softly, as if reading your mind. "I’m here. No matter what happens tomorrow, you’ve already won in my eyes."

You felt the sting of tears, blinking them back. "You’re too sweet."

He stood, offering you his hand. "Come on. Show me one more time."

You took his hand, letting him pull you up onto the ice. The familiar glide of your skates steadied you, the world falling away as you moved. The cold of the air against your face, the sharp sound of your blades cutting into the ice.

It all felt like home.

Pau skated alongside you, a little clumsy but focused. He never minded how many times he almost tripped, just wanting to be there with you.

"You’re getting better," you teased, laughing as he nearly fell face first onto the ice.

He gave you a mocking glare, his eyes twinkling. "I’m just trying to keep up with the ice princess."

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide your smile. "I still can’t believe you’re out here, freezing with me."

He shrugged, his grin softening. “I'm wearing layered clothes and a coat. You're in…this," He gestured to your skating dress, hands going up and down. "Besides, I’d rather be here than anywhere else.”

You felt the tension in your chest ease, the weight of tomorrow’s competition lifting just a little. You skated ahead, spinning into a perfect loop, the motion effortless, like it was normal.

When you landed, Pau was watching you, his eyes filled with something more than admiration. He skated closer, closing the distance between you. "You know, watching you out here… it’s like you’re flying. I can’t explain it."

You felt your cheeks warm, the compliment hitting deep. "It doesn’t feel like flying without you being my cheerleader."

He laughed, the sound beautiful and warm. "Then I’ll always be here, cheering for you. No matter what."

For a moment, the ice, the arena, the upcoming competition, all of it faded away.

It was just you and him, standing together in the quiet. The world outside the rink didn’t exist; all that mattered was you and Pau.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

He smiled, leaning in, his forehead resting against yours. "You don’t have to thank me. I believe in you."

The cold air around you felt a little warmer, the ice a little softer beneath your feet. Tomorrow might be the biggest competition of your life, but in that moment, you knew you wouldn’t have to face it alone.

Pau pulled back slightly, his gaze lingering on yours. There was a vulnerability in his eyes, a quiet strength that made your heart pound. "You know… I’ve watched you push yourself so hard for this. I just want you to know that, no matter what happens, it doesn’t change how amazing you are."

You swallowed hard, emotion welling up in your chest. "Pau…"

He brushed a gloved hand against your cheek, his touch so light, almost like a feather. "I mean it. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to win to be worth something. You already are."

A tear slipped down your cheek, and he gently wiped it away. "I guess I’m just scared," you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. "Scared of failing. Of disappointing everyone."

He shook his head, his eyes set. "You could never disappoint me. Not even if you tried, hermosa."

"You always know what to say." You laughed softly, the sound laced with tears.

"Only because it’s true," he said, his voice firm. "You’re stronger than you think."

You skated away from him, needing a moment to gather yourself. The ice stretched out in front of you, vast and empty, like a blank canvas.

You took a deep breath, then launched into a spin, letting the movement ground you. When you stopped, Pau was watching, his expression a mixture of awe and pride.

"You’re incredible," he said, his voice adoring.

You skated back to him, your heart pounding. "Only because I have you with me."

"Always." He grinned, pulling you close.

The silence stretched between you, comfortable and warm. Outside, the city continued on, but in that moment, it didn’t matter.

The only thing that mattered was the promise in his eyes, the unspoken vow that he would be there, no matter what.

As you stood there, the ice beneath you and Pau’s arms around you, you knew that you could handle anything. Tomorrow’s competition was just another step, another challenge. But with Pau by your side, you knew you wouldn’t face it alone.

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes searching yours, filled with an emotion that made your breath catch. His hand, still gloved, cupped your cheek gently, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down.

"You’re stronger than you think," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

The world around you seemed to fade, the cold air replaced by a warmth that had nothing to do with the arena.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss. It was gentle, yet it held all the unspoken words, the promises, the quiet support he had given you.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, a small, almost shy smile playing on his lips. "No matter what happens tomorrow… you’ve already won in my eyes."

Your heart swelled, a mixture of nerves and comfort washing over you. "With you here, I feel like I have."

For a moment, the ice, the world outside, the pressure of the competition, all of it disappeared. There was only Pau, the steady beat of his heart, and the quiet promise of something more.

"I'll love you forever, and I'll support you no matter what, mi princesa de hielo."

After he said that, you knew that whether you won or lost, you'd have someone by your side.

And that someone was the love of your life.

[damiansgoodgirll]

Can I request a Reader is insecure about her body so Damian shows her how much he loves her? (Reader is a curvy girl)

damian priest x reader

‼️reader being self conscious and insecure, a little angst, fluff in the end

so precious

it was one of those nights.

where damian was training and you were home alone waiting for him. you loved waiting for him. maybe cooking a nice and delicious dinner for you and him and watching something on netflix. that was your perfect typical night.

except tonight you weren’t in the mood for cooking. or watching netflix. or doing anything.

you just wanted to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. instead you were scrolling through instagram and watching what your friends were doing. but your eyes got lost in damian’s ig stories where he posted a few selfies with some other wrestlers.

you knew they were just friends even if you saw how they looked at him. and the way they looked at you. they were jealous and you knew they had a crush on damian too.

but seeing him posting those selfies made you upset. why wasn’t he posting pictures with you? he never shared a post with you in it. his fans didn’t even know that he had a girlfriend. was he embarrassed? was he embarrassed that someone like him was with someone like you?

a million thoughts started running into your mind that you didn’t even hear the front door opening and a voice calling your name.

“oh here you are…” damian said smiling when he saw you laying on the bed.

“hey…i didn’t even hear you…” you whispered.

he immediately knew something was wrong. the way you didn’t even smiled back. the way you didn’t asked him for a hug and a kiss like you always did.

“is everything okay amor?” he carefully asked sitting next to you.

“yes why?” you lied. and of course, he could tell that you were lying.

“try again…”

“what you mean?” you asked him a little confused.

“are you okay? is everything okay?” he asked again taking your hand into his own.

“yes…”

“you’re lying to me amor…” he whispered.

“it’s just…” you knew he wouldn’t understand. someone so handsome and hot like him wouldn’t understand what you were feeling “are you embarrassed?”

“about what?”

“about me damian” you said back maybe too harshly.

“what? no, why would you think that?” he was a little shocked.

“you don’t want us to go out in public together, you don’t post pictures of us together…hell, your friends don’t even know about my existence while all of my friends and family know about you! how do you think it makes me feel?” you didn’t want to cry but you couldn’t help it “it feels like you’re embarrassed to be seen with me…”

“what? mi vida no, why do you think that?” damian’s heart was hurting for what you just said “you said you wanted to keep it private and so we did…but i’m not ashamed of you, i love you so much y/n and you have no idea…”

“private doesn’t mean hidden damian…you never invite your friends over when i’m here, you never go out in public with me, it’s like i’m your secret and i don’t wanna feel like that…are you ashamed of me? because of what i look like?”

damian knew he fucked up something if those were your thoughts. he loved you more than anything and he thought he was good at showing it to you but apparently he wasn’t.

“look like what? amor, you are the most beautiful person ive ever met…” he said.

“but i’m not like them…you are not ashamed of posting pictures with them…”

“like them?” he wasn’t understanding.

“the other wrestlers…they are tall and skinny and thick at the same time and i know you like that…so why are you with me?” tears well falling from your eyes.

“no no no no baby, you’re talking nonsense. stop it please…” he was hurting for your words because to him, you were everything “i love you…i love you, i love your body, i love your face, your eyes, your lips, i love your heart, your kind heart and i love the way you make me feel” he stood up, taking you with him and placing you in front of the mirror “look at yourself baby…do you see what i see?”

“i see back fat, arm fat, rolls, double chin…i see how bad my face looks without makeup up, i see my flat ass and my big thighs…that’s what i see damian” you said.

“amor…i wish i could give you my eyes so you could see yourself the way i see you” he softly kissed your neck “te amo” he whispered “you mean so much to me and if you want me to post pictures of you, i’ll do it, i want the whole world to see how beautiful you are…i want the whole world to know how lucky i am to have the most beautiful person right by my side…”

“but why can’t i see those things?” you broke down, crying in damian’s arms.

he always knew you've been self conscious and he wanted to take all your fears and pain away but he knew he couldn’t.

“come here…” he slowly walked you to the bed “lay down…”

“what?” you whispered.

“trust me…” and so you did as he told you because you trusted him.

he slowly got on top of you. his hands reaching for your t-shirt.

“what are you doing?” you almost panicked when you felt his hands trying to remove your shirt.

“showing you how much i love you and your body mi amor…”

and so you let him, because you trust him.

you were left in your shorts while being half naked in front of him wasn’t helping your situation. there wasn’t anything sexual in what he was doing, kissing you from your jaw to your breast, from your chest to your soft belly “i love all of this y/n…i love your body because it keeps you healthy and alive…this is what matters to me” he continued kissing every part, every inch of your skin “and i’ll stay awake all night long to prove you that”

and so he did.

[lunajay33]

A Part of Me

•🦇🪽🖤•

Summary: Reader is Rhysands sister, when Feyre comes to live within the night court Tamlin takes reader and shreds her wings, thankfully Cassian finds her in time but will she be able to come back from that? Will Cassian drag her out of that darkness?

Pairing: Cassian x f!reader

Warning: Depression, Anxiety, Bad self image

•Masterlist•

My life was fun, I had an amazing big brother who ruled over the Night court, my home, and I had my best friends, Cassian and Azriel, plus Mor, everything was nice in our little family we always went out together, spent nights in for suppers but when Rhys got trapped under the mountain it became difficult for us all knowing there was nothing we could do to save him, but then my sister in law came and saved him in more ways than one, at first she didn’t get the charm Rhys has but she came around and realized they were mates and tonight we were celebrating that

As I walked along the streets of Velaris looking for a mating present for them I felt a hand grip my wrist and drag me into an alley, quickly I’m knocked out and the world is black

Opening my eyes the lights are so bright and my head is pounding, looking around groggily I notice I’m strapped down to a table face down

“What’s going on” I groaned

“I couldn’t get Rhys but you’re the next best thing” I knew that voice….Tamlin

“Please I didn’t do anything to you” I knew of his temper and with what happened with tamlin Rhys and Feyre he was definitely gonna take it all out on me

“None of you from the night court are innocent, now you’re going to have the same fate as you’re mother and sister” my chest felt heavy scared I’ll never see Rhys again, scared they’ll never find me, scared…..I’ll never get to tell Cassian just how much he really means to me

Tamlin takes his time shredding my wings slowly so I feel ever bit of pain, and the pain is so much more because it’s my precious wings, they gave me so much freedom and now they’ll never be the same again….if I live to escape

After hours of torture I hear the door being busted down behind me faintly as I was fading in and out of consciousness, a fight broke out and then silence, all I could hear is the blood pumping in my ears and the constant ache that riddled me

But then he touched me, that gentle touch I could recognize anywhere, Cassian

His hand grazed my shoulder as he turned my face towards him, he was blurry and my eyelids felt so heavy

“Oh my Angel what has he done to you” I opened my mouth to try and speak but nothing came out, he gently picked me up and in an instant I felt the comforting chill of the night Court

I sigh out in relief knowing I’m safe now and back home

“RHYS IVE GOT HER CALL MADJA” he yelled jolting me back from fainting

I heard multiple voices around me but they were becoming faint again, like they were far away

“Cas……” I finally managed to groan as he laid me face down on the bed

“What can I do?” He asked squeezing my hand

“I……..I can’t feel my wings” he gave me the saddest look I’ve ever seen before and I knew in that instant I’d never fly again

•

I woke up to the moonlight shining through my window, the window cracked open like I liked so I could feel the cool breeze, I tried to sit up and even though it was agonizing I didn’t wanna be lying down like before I wanted to feel like I had control

I walked to my mirror sucking in a deep breath as I turned seeing my wings completely bandaged but I could tell where pieces were missing

What’ll people think of me now? I’m the Night Court leaders sister, what will they think of me knowing I’m two week to protect myself and get myself in this situation, will they stare at my useless and ripped wings, will they think I’m hideous, will my own family and friends think all that

My heart felt like led in my chest, my stomach turning with anxiety, but atleast I’m alive right…..right?

I dragged my feet through the hall till I made it to the kitchen needing something….anything to just distract me maybe even make me feel something

“Hey what’re you doing up you should be resting in bed” I heard Cassian say getting up from the couch as he approached me

“I’m fine” I sigh as I open the freezer and painfully pull out the ice cream, not realizing how my back muscles I use until now that they’re damaged, the ache still remained but Madi’s must’ve really worked hard or else I would’ve been immobile

“No you’re not angel, and that’s okay, here let me get it for you” I nod as he helps me sit down on the couch and lighting up the fire place

Coming back again with a huge bowl of ice cream, sitting across from me

“How’re you feeling?” He asked as he reassuringly rubbed my thigh

“It hurts……inside too” he squeezed my leg comfortingly

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, the minute I felt you weren’t in this court I knew something was wrong……then I heard you”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing im just glad i found you in time, that bastard will get it from Rhys”

“Found me in time? Cassian I’m hideous” I cried as I scooped a mouthful of ice cream sounding like a blubbering mess

“What’re you talking about, you’re still as beautiful as the day I met you” he was never this affectionate with me, sure he liked to flirt but this was meaningful

“But my wings…..”

“Are still beautiful angel, even if they are ripped and scared they’re still a part of you and I’ll show you everyday how beautiful every part of you are” he says brushing my hair back and wiping off some ice cream around my mouth

“Whyre you being so sweet to me” I cried harder at his words

“Because……because I love you and seeing you like that on the table showed me I can’t wait anymore, you’re mine and I’ve known since we were young”

That’s when I felt my chest pull towards his, my mate

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to want me because of the bond, I wanted you for me and all my glory” he says making us both laugh

“I’ve loved you for a long time Cass, how about you take me back to bed because I’m in a world of pain and we can tell the others tomorrow”

“I’d love nothing more my beautiful angel”

He’s my warrior, my saviour, my mate

[deansdelicate]

I CAN SEE YOU

CHAPTER IV: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

seth rollins x fem!writer+producer reader

word count: [8K]

warnings: no use of y/n, mild cursing, reader mentions a panic attack (but doesn't actually have one), two idiots pining w/o even knowing it kinda? overprotective sethie, overall fluff!

🎧 the soundtrack

summary: In the midst of chaos, you find yourself naturally drawn to Seth, who is nothing short of a steady anchor in the storm. With each unexpected turn, your bond deepens, and so does Seth’s protectiveness over you. While others might not have gone to the same lengths, Seth’s focus never strays—it’s always you, and nothing else.

Your heels clacked against the polished concrete floors, the twists and turns of the arena causing you to stumble over your feet a bit, though it didn’t stop you from the dash attempting to hideaway from another stage hand set out to find you.

You didn’t mind lending a helping hand and getting the house show prepped for the night after your dad had to bail and take a last-minute flight back home, but nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ambush of people expecting you to know everything.

You did all that you knew off the top of your head: pointing the crew to where they could set up crates and carts, helping set up the titatrons and cameras, and even going over the match card for the night. But you weren’t cut out for whole shebang of stage hands who needed details on each and every single task—most, if not all of them, ones you weren’t acquainted with considering your job wasn’t even running the show.

They were practically all around, and you were confident that they were going to find you one way or another. But you’d at least try your best to avoid them for as long as you could and you thought the bathroom would be just the place.

You pushed the door open, falling against it and swiftly shutting it behind you. You pressed against the wood, as if you were barricading yourself in, but really, you just needed a second to catch your breath and close your eyes—savouring the sweetness of peace and quiet.

“Breathe…” you whispered to yourself, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, trying to ease the dread out of your body.

“You ok?” a voice suddenly reverberated in the empty bathroom, or so you thought.

“Oh, my god!” You screeched, snapping your eyes open, only to be face to face with Seth himself.

You hadn’t seen him around with your hands full all night, and while you wanted to be mortified that this was the circumstances it was under, the embarrassment didn’t even cross your mind. There were too many thoughts whirling through your head, and he certainly wasn’t the stressors you were trying to avoid by any means.

“Am I in the men’s bathroom?” You sputtered, pushing off the door in order to step further into the bathroom, expecting to see more stars, but thankfully it was just him.

“No, it’s unisex.” He assured, watching you trudge over to the sinks turning on the faucet to run your hands under the frigid water.

Seth pushed his brows together, staring at you concerned in the mirror’s reflection, “You look flustered, are you good?”

He noticed you were still trying to even your breathing while you splashed some of the water droplets over your neck, visibly trembling from head to toe. He knew something was up.

“My dad had to fly back to Stamford, and he left me to handle everything and now I’m stuck here dealing with things that I really have no clue about.” Your voice shook as you explained yourself.

You shut off the water, pressing your wet, cold fingertips against your forehead still trying to ease your buzzing nerves.

He hadn’t seen you in such a state, and you appeared to be a shell of yourself before his eyes. Even on your first day of work, you seemed to have some semblance of control over your nervousness, but today was another level of high-strung stress that plagued him, wondering how long you had been feeling this way until ultimately hiding out.

Surely people didn’t just expect you to know the ins and outs already?

You didn’t even give out orders the way your father did, and frankly your job was strictly in the creative realm. He couldn’t imagine what everyone else had been bothering you for that they didn’t already know how to handle considering their time with the company.

He didn’t have any time to spit out questions—whether you needed something to drink or to see the trainers for rest.

“Has anyone seen Ms. Levesque?” A voice rang out loud enough through the hallways getting closer to the bathroom.

Your eyes widened, spinning around and giving Seth a begging look.

“You haven’t seen me and I’m not here!” You whispered hurriedly, finding shelter in the furthest stall and locking the door shut.

He didn’t need any convincing, immediately getting into character as the door swung open and there stood a stage hand wearing a frantic look and letting themselves in without knocking.

“Is Ms. Levesque in here?” They urged, but before they could come closer and inspect the stalls for themselves, Seth stepped in front of them, blocking the path.

“Haven’t seen her at all today. It’s just me in here.” He spoke, playing it cool as the stage hand peered past him for a split second.

“Have you checked gorilla? It is almost doors and she could be there.” Seth added, eyes trailing down to the watch on their wrist and just like that the stage hand muttered out a ‘thank you’ under their breath before they left.

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at how little it took to get them scurrying. “You can come out now.”

You released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, sliding the lock loose, causing the door to swing open.

“Thanks,” you sighed, exiting the stall, and meeting him near the sinks again.

“I think I’m seriously going to spiral if I hear one more person ask for me.” You confessed, running your hands through your hair stubbornly.

You could just feel the migraine starting to brew, and the last thing you needed was your head throbbing over circumstances out of your couldn’t control. Seth shook his head, his hand extending towards your arm and giving it an encouraging rub.

His touch brought forth a calming warmth over your shuddering body, desperately holding onto the feeling before his fingertips suddenly fell, leaving you aching again.

“I think you’re doing great, and I’m sure the girls wouldn’t mind you hiding out in the locker room. Stage hands almost never go in there for house shows.”

You perked up at the sound of that, tilting your head at him.

“Is it nearby?” You crossed your fingers, hoping it wasn’t on the other side of the arena where you’d surely be found by then.

“Yeah, it’s right next to ours.” He nodded.

“Okay, can you show me?” You smiled tightly, wanting to get out as soon as possible before another came in and blew your cover.

Seth nodded, holding a single finger up as he walked towards the door.

“Yeah, just give me a sec…” He peeked his head out, looking left and right making sure the coast was clear before, looking back at you and gesturing you over, “Come on.”

Seth’s arm slipped across your shoulders, pulling you closer into his side as you hung your head low hoping to not be spotted in the crowded hallways. You didn’t even have the time to think twice about the implications if you two did get caught in such a way—plus even if you did it was nothing they had to worry about when it was just friends helping each other out.

“Here you are,” Seth stopped in front of a door decorated with a plaque that read, “Female Talent” on it.

His arm fell back to his sides, as you pushed your hair out of your face, keeping your voice low as you whispered, “Thank you so much.”

“Come find me if you need another hiding spot.” He joked light heartedly, making you giggle with a nod before you waved goodbye and let yourself in.

Like he promised, the girls didn’t mind you at all.

It was more so surprising to them seeing that it was you of all people who walked through the doors, over apologetic for barging in out of nowhere.

But they immediately welcomed you with open arms, ushering you over to sit and hang out with them since they rarely got the opportunity to catch up with you being so busy.

You had confessed what led you to hiding out in their locker-room and they all immediately shook their heads, knowing damn well that most if not all stage hands weren’t new to the schedule, so them coming to you was just out of inconvenience.

Nattie was especially trouble, shaking her head disappointingly, "That's not right," She muttered, shooting her husband TJ a text message about what was going on.

You twisted your fingers in your lap nervously, hating that this is what you had to come to in order to get away.

“Maybe I’m just being dramatic, right? I just don’t understand what I’m supposed to tell them, when I don’t even know what’s going on too.” You sighed heavily.

You weren’t trying to act like an entitled brat, but you knew deep down that you did everything in your power to help everyone. There was only so much you could do without feeling like you were risking making a mistake and the blame falling on someone else.

“TJ has it handled. No need to worry.” She assured you, shoving her phone back into her bag, as you shot her a thankful smile for going out of her way to have your back.

“You don't know what that means to me,” you gratefully, reached over, hugging her tightly before pulling away. “I guess I should go now that the search is off.” You half laughed, going to get up and give the girls their space back.

But a hand quickly wrapped around your wrist and stopped you from doing so. It was Alexa, who shook her head along with the other ladies who looked excited to have you and wanted to spend more time together.

“Stay! You can help us get ready for the show!” She said eagerly, and you smiled at the thought, taking her up on the offer and deciding to stick around longer than you anticipated.

The smell of hairspray, and the heaps of makeup pallets cluttering the countertops took you back to the feeling of being at home again. It reminded you of your little sisters’, the random nights they’d spend at your apartment begging for silly makeovers, and even back in your childhood bedroom where your mom taught you how to do your own hair and makeup.

“How are you so fast?” Alexa gaped in the mirror astonished, most of her hair already curled despite you just starting minutes ago.

You laughed, sectioning off another part and wrapping her blonde locks around the barrel of the iron. “It helps when you have three little sisters who always want their hair done.”

She smiled. “How old are they?”

“Sixteen, thirteen and, ten.” You listed off with a huff, feeling incredibly old.

“They’re totally lucky to have you as a big sis.”

Truth be told, you were definitely the luckier one, seeing as though all three of them were extremely close to you despite their teenage ages, which was supposed to be where they wanted absolutely nothing to do with their older ‘uncool’ sister. But it was quite the opposite with them wanting to spend as much time with you, but especially not that you weren’t home as often as before.

It was one thing that almost caused you to turn down the offer of working with the company. As a kid, you grew up with your parents constantly traveling, and while they had the luxury of taking you with them, as you got older, the idea didn’t seem enticing and you just craved being home where you belonged.

And while you weren’t your sister's parent, you filled that role of being like one, and the last thing you wanted was for them to feel as if you were abandoning them. Thankfully, your schedule was flexible enough for you to go home every other weekend, and with more shows being put on in Connecticut, it was convenient to see them as much as you could.

“Oh, I have got to show you what I gifted her!” You said excitedly, finishing up the final curl before retrieving your phone and scrolling through your album.

“I showed Seth last week, and he thought it was pretty cool too.” You grinned to yourself, finally finding the picture and passing your phone around.

“God, I feel so old. I had one of those when I was like seven,” Nattie grumbled, seeing the vintage polaroid your sister was holding, causing you all to laugh.

“Speaking of him,” Naomi nudged your side teasingly with her elbow, “How do you like working with him?”

You smiled, biting down your lip with a shrug of your shoulders.

“He’s great, I mean, we work well together and we have a lot of chemistry, so it’s been smooth sailing so far.”

You couldn’t help but notice the impish expressions covering their faces. Liv smirked, passing your phone back to you.

“Do you think he’s cute?” She asked bluntly, causing your eyes to widen and a blush to break over your cheeks.

“Leave the poor girl alone!” Naomi chided, rolling her eyes at the girls who giggled harmlessly.

“What? It’s just a question. This is a judgement free zone.” Liv argued confidently, looking around at the girls who nodded—seriously, they all were like sisters, and nothing was ever off limits.

You tucked your cheek into your shoulder shyly, shrugging again, “He’s got a nice face alright...I’ll leave it at that!”

They all broke out into a girlish giggle, causing you to cover your face not out of embarrassment but for the sole fact that you actually said it out loud for the first time. You always thought Seth was cute—watching him for as long as you did over the course of your preparation coming onto the main roster, you always thought he had an appeal on screen and it was no different in real life.

So yeah, Seth Rollins had a pretty good-looking face, and you were quite lucky to work with him.

As the night progressed, time moved quickly with you busy and the anxious thoughts finally washed away. The girls who had matched had already made their way back to the locker room, getting showered and changed while you and the other ladies continued to chat.

“I’m so not looking forward to the drive tonight.” Alexa groaned, coming out from the attached bathrooms, changed into fresh clothing as she chucked her gear into her suitcase and zipped it up.

“Tell me about it, and tonight I’m riding with the hubs and his brothers.” Naomi sighed half heartedly, and they all laughed, knowing that driving with a bunch of guys was always the worst for multiple reasons.

Suddenly your eyes widened, the time spent with the girls causing you to lose track of everything else—including how you were getting to the next city. All the stress you had thought you fought off was coming back like cruel punishment testing if you were really meant to do this or not.

Your dad had taken off in such a haste, and it was a no brainer that he took the company plane, the same one you were supposed to get on at the end of the night to head to the next city. But that was before plans changed. There were no drivers on hand to take you to the next city, and the plane was certainly on the tarmac by now.

“Wait, where are we going next?”

You bit down nervously on your lip, grabbing your phone and trying to load the itinerary in your emails, hoping Eddie had sent you travel arrangements.

“Chicago.” They answered before your phone could load up your mail.

When the app finally loaded and refreshed, there was nothing from Eddie nor your dad about your mode of transportation to the next city. You were practically stranded and fucked.

“Shit.” You whispered, closing your eyes tightly and shaking your head.

“What’s the matter?” Liv frowned, looking over your shoulder.

You took a deep breath, trying to give your best smile while your mind raced with solutions.

“Nothing, I just have to go call Eddie. I totally forgot to ask him about something.” You waved off not wanting to worry them.

You stepped out of the locker room, pacing anxiously as you pulled up your messages between you and Eddie, shooting him a few. Much to your dismay the normal blue bubbles sent through as green, furthering your worries.

Sure, you could have easily went back in the locker room to ask one of the girls if it was okay to tag along with them to the next city, but you already felt bad for camping out in their locker room for the whole night and the last thing you wanted was them to feel suffocated by you.

Funnily enough, in the face of worry, your footsteps didn’t seem to second guess your mind, heading straight to the person you were hoping didn’t already leave the arena. The more you searched the hallways, the more helpless you became. The sliver of hope that he was still around fading with each second that passed knowing you’d have to quickly think up another solution, when you’re one and only was nowhere to be found.

But there he was—his back turned to you as he talked to a member of the production team about something you were too relieved to care about in the moment. He had his luggage and a few bags near his side and you knew you had caught him just in time, and you weren’t going to let it slip from you.

You hurried your footsteps, and unbeknownst to you, the familiar sounds of your heels rang through his ears, prompting him to turn his head over his shoulder mid conversation, spotting you making a beeline towards him.

He could read your face and the worry that covered it, the same one that you wore in the confines of the bathroom where you didn’t have to conceal it with a faux smile so the nearby eyes wouldn’t know something was wrong.

“Woah, hey, are you still dodging people?” Seth twisted his body completely, turning your way and forgetting the previous conversation all together, giving his attention to you.

You stopped right in front of him, rubbing at your temples and pinching your eyes shut, hoping you weren’t about to ask for too much from him.

“No, I actually was looking for you.” Your chest deflated with a heavy sigh that was reminiscent of the anguish you displayed earlier.

He straightened up at the sound of that, nodding his head ready to take on whatever you needed from him.

“How can I help?”

“I thought I had a flight to the next city, but since the plane left with my dad I’m sorta stranded, and I really don’t want to go book a flight and I can’t get ahold of Eddie so I was wondering if I’d be okay if I drove with you and Roman to the next city?”

You were nearly out of breath at how fast you were talking, trying to cut to the chase and not waste any more of his time than you already were.

“Of course,” He replied without any reluctance or a second to think if you should ask someone else instead—his quick response clearly stunned you, but you were indebted more than anything else.

“But it’ll just be you and me. Roman’s riding with his cousins and Naomi this time around.” He added, pointing behind you to where Roman and his cousins Jey and Jimmy were already starting to exit the arena.

Naomi was right behind them, rolling her things along. She caught you in her peripheral, causing her to turn to you, shooting you a teasing smile when she realized you were alone with Seth. You waved weakly, returning a small smile keeping your composure before you turned to him again.

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” You smiled through a deep breath and he began to roll his luggage and bags out of the path.

“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get my stuff really quick.” You gestured down the hall to where your office was.

“Take your time.” He assured you, not being able to help himself, chuckling and shaking his head, as you twirled around and did a quick jog in your heels not wanting to keep him waiting long.

You changed out of your skirt and top, tossing the pieces and your heels into your suitcase, and quickly grabbing a random baggy t-shirt and a pair of comfy sweatpants. You pulled mismatched socks over your feet, slipping them into your usual sneakers, hurriedly shutting the luggage and zipping it up.

You grabbed the packet of makeup wipes you kept in your purse, opening your phone camera to use as a mirror as you swiped the cloth over your face, letting your skin breathe. Tossing the wipes into the trash bin, you did a one over your office, making sure you had all your belongings, before turning off the lights and heading back to Seth.

Staying out of the path where stage hands and techs were clearing, he scrolled through his phone, waiting for you. And while he wasn’t one for divulging into social media comments, WWE’s recent post of your segment together had appeared on his feed, and many fans had lots to say.

‘Don’t know if this will end well for Seth, but how funny would it be if they actually got together in real life?”

One comment read, making him chuckle and shake his head—a thread of people agreeing or shunning the idea, like they had a say, anyway.

Another one wrote, ‘I can feel the tension through the screen,’ followed by an abundance of emojis that Seth wasn’t quite able to decode, but still made him laugh none the less.

At least he knew you both were doing something right if a single segment was already getting fans excited about what was to come. Whatever ‘tension’ fans saw meant that you two were doing exactly what you needed to do with your characters—it was all just part of the storyline.

“Sorry for the holdup.” Your soft voice shot down the empty halls, causing him to look up as you approached.

Mindlessly he slipped his phone into his pocket, trailing his eyes carefully over you—bare faced, hair pulled up, and the tiredness evident across your features and demeanor, yet you still managed to put on a smile thanking him endlessly for going out of his way.

“No holdup here,” He assured you, grabbing his things and rolling it beside him. “All good to go?” He wearily took note of all your baggage not wanting you forget anything important.

You nodded with a hum, “All packed up and ready.”

He led the way out to the parking garage where most of the superstars were already loading up their cars and preparing for the long trip ahead. Seth fidgeted with the car keys, sounding off the horn in order to find his rental that was almost identical to all the other SUVs around.

Recognizing the blinking tail lights and alarm sound, he subtly held his free arm out towards the small of your back, guiding you in its direction. You peered over at him as you walked, a little taken aback by the kind gesture—the way he wanted to keep you close felt almost comforting.

Only when you both made it to the car did his hand finally drop, allowing him to pop the trunk open while you stood there waiting to slide your things in. You stifled a small yawn behind your hands, rubbing your eyes lightly trying to shake off the fatigue until you got to the hotel. Seth slipped his backpack off, pushing it into the trunk, taking a quick glance at you and noticed your slowed movements.

Before you could even process what was happening, a soft click causing you to squint past your blurry vision, seeing Seth already lifting your suitcase and sliding it in.

“I got it. Go get comfy.” He offered thoughtfully, sliding the key fob into your palm, nodding at you to go ahead before continuing to load up the car.

You didn’t put a fight, giving him a nod as you hurried into the passenger side, placing your purse on the floor and leaning over the middle console in order to get the car running. Twisting the dials for the air conditioning and heat, you found a decent temperature that could keep you toasty yet cool at the same time.

The trunk closed shut behind you shortly after, and Seth had made his way around to the driver’s seat, getting in and placing his phone into one of the cup holders for easy access.

“Is it okay?” You hovered your hands in front of the vents, keeping your eyes on him.

His fingertips skimmed against yours, a pleased look on his face, glancing over at you.

“It’s fine for me. You aren’t too cold are you?” He rose his brow, feeling your hands slightly shaking next to his.

You weren’t particularly bundled up, and the night travel was always brisker, with temperatures dropping. There was only so much the heater could do to warm the car without it feeling like an absolute sauna, and a three-hour drive meant an absolute need to be as comfortable as you could be.

A slight shiver ran up and down your arms, chin trembling either out of pure exhaustion or frigidity, yet you still shook your head, lowering your hands into your lap, clasping them together for warmth trying to convince him.

You began to assure him, but it didn’t last long, “No I’m—”

He dropped his hands, fingers going to the zipper of his jacket, pulling the closure down and shrugging the garment off his arms, holding it out to you.

“I can see you shivering, you know.” He chuckled, nudging the jacket to you again when you didn’t take it the first time.

You hesitated for a second, before ultimately sighing out a laugh and taking it, apologizing as you slipped it on.

“I’m a guest in your car. I didn’t want to overstep.”

Seth let out a sarcastic grunt, buckling in as he spoke.

“Trust me, I’ve driven with guys who snore through ten hour drives and some who insist on blasting music all the way through. You’re by far the best road partner I’ll have to date.”

He said it like a promise, sweet and sincere like the way his voice always carried itself with you. It was hard as is, transitioning into a new job, but one that also came with an intense level of travel added another layer to the reason why he felt it was vital you had someone you could go to no matter what—and if that was him, then he was more than happy to be that person for you.

You crossed your fingers he couldn’t see you blushing through the darkness of the car. The headlights reflecting brightly off the walls and bouncing off the windshield didn’t help your case, but you couldn’t fight it. Perhaps you were smitten because of the conversation you had with the girls just a short while ago, but even then you knew it was partly just you in your head.

You had banked out on becoming friends with Seth, and you couldn’t possibly imagine what you’d do without him. And what Eddie had teasingly said about you and him acting as more than friends suddenly played like a loop in your head. But you had to remind yourself that it was just platonic, and that was all it could ever amount to.

“Thanks again for letting me tag along. I’d be lost without you.” You murmured, absentmindedly setting your hand over his wrist, grazing his skin softly.

Seth kept his cool, ignoring the hot rush of blood in his veins beneath your touch—it was nothing else besides platonic. Your kindness had always been extended to everyone. It just so happened that you two had spent a lot of time together, but still didn’t mean anything else.

He had spent all this time criticizing his friends because of their relentless teasing, yet he knew that if they were there to see what was unfolding before him, it would only egg all of them on further to believing you and him could actually be a thing.

The naked eyes you both held onto each other didn’t even see through a glimpse of what you felt inside. You didn’t say anything about his pulse beating against your fingertips and Seth certainly didn’t bring up your pink cheeks in the dead of the night—all of it was left unspoken, but it didn’t mean that nothing was said.

You and Seth talked and talked under the moonlit sky, mostly about Chicago. He had been multiple times, back in his indie days where he would drive from state to state and town to town to wrestle and get his name out there. All of those late night drives in shitty broken-down cars finally paid off a few years back after your father offered him a contract in developmental and closed off the indie days chapter and brought him straight to Tampa where bigger plans laid ahead.

You, on the other hand, hadn’t been to many places, far from home, and Chicago was one of them. It was safe to say that while the travel schedule was something so foreign to you it gave you the opportunity to see the world in a medium where you still got to work within your element.

“Do you ever miss the indies?” You marveled aloud, peering at him and he pursed his lips, puffing out an absurd breath of air.

“Hell no,” He sneered, making you burst into laughter, shaking your head at him while he argued his case, “I don’t miss getting paid forty bucks and a hot dog for getting my ass kicked in a high school gym.”

It felt like it was just yesterday when promoters would slap a few bills in the palm of his hand, and he was even lucky if they provided food after the show. Most times it was just him and his other indie buddies driving to the nearest 7/11 to spend their hard earned cash on gas station food and fill up their tank to head back home only for a repeat all over again.

“Okay, I get that,” You nodded understandingly, shifting your torso towards him as you tucked your legs under yourself. “But I mean, do you miss the innocence? Like, the small crowds that believed in you, even when you were just doing it for the hope of it all?”

You stared at him, elbow rested on the console, genuinely curious, and Seth found it endearing considering his past wasn’t all that glamorous to begin with. But your desire to dive into his world, attempting to dissect it in your own way made him realize that he hadn’t pondered his roots in what felt like forever.

“Well, when you put it that way,” He strung together a hum, glancing at you for a quick second just enough for you to catch his smile before turning his attention back to the road, “Yeah. I never imagined I’d be here. It still feels a little surreal at times.”

Perhaps there was a double meaning. Here as in working for the company he had always been dreaming about since he was kid. And here beside you—breathing your air, hearing your voice, getting a rare to chance to know you.

He didn’t know why he thought beyond what you had asked, but it felt right, just as he was beside you. The what was supposed to be solo drive to the next city, way more pleasant with your presence.

“You came a long way and you deserve it.” You grinned, eyes twinkling towards him, catching a glimpse of his orbs that wished could’ve stayed set on you through the night.

The first hour of the car ride was a breeze, a nice smooth journey as you and Seth talked about any and everything under the dusk to get you through the next town. You could’ve listened to his voice for hours, talking up a storm and making you crack a smile even in your most exhaustive hours—but then again, you were spent, and soon your quick replies and giggles became nothing but tired hums and weak nods of your head.

You liked to think that the same way his voice could keep you up in the early morning hours of a busy city, also had the effect of helping you drift off into sleep on a long road to another bustling town.

Seth hadn’t taken your quietness as to you being asleep. To be fair, he had just thought you were staring out the window, taking in the drive with some comfortable silence he didn’t mind at all. It wasn’t until he pulled up to the drive through of a fast-food restaurant that he realized that you had been fast asleep for nearly a half hour.

“Did you want something?” He asked, finishing up his order and reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet before looking over at you.

With no response, he hovered over the console a tad, finally seeing your chest falling in tune with the mellow breaths you took, and your eyes fluttered shut as you dreamed away. He smiled tightly at the sight just before turning back to the intercom and speaking at a lower volume in hopes not to wake you.

Hour two consisted of Seth quietly munching on his fries and burgers, softening the crinkle of the paper under a napkin, doing his best to keep the car nice and quiet for you.

You had shifted around a few times by hour three, maneuvering your body into a cramped fetus position and facing towards him. You untucked your arms from the inside of the jacket, pulling the excess fabric under your chin and settling into a deep sleep once more.

How you were able to sleep like a baby in the passenger seat wasn’t something he could fathom, considering how uncomfortable the front seat was for the guys who were always too tall to burrow into a cacoon like you were. But he guessed you had overworked yourself into a state of complete and utter exhaustion.

You always gave a hundred percent of yourself every night, but with your dad gone and you left to the pickup the pieces, you had gone out of your way to try to help everyone—spreading yourself out too thin before the veil broke and you had to hide away for the sake of your wellbeing.

The drive was nearly over, and he could only steal some quick glances towards you before you both had finally made it to the hotel just a little before midnight. The parking lot was full of similar rental cars, a clear indicator that everyone had beaten them there. Finding the nearest available parking spot, he quickly drove in, switching gears and letting up on the brake pedal.

“Wakey, wakey,” Seth called out gently, unbuckling his seat belt and giving your arm a soft tap, attempting to stir you from your slumber.

Yet you didn’t budge, not even a little, your breathing slow and steady as the hum of the air conditioning faded when Seth pulled the key from the ignition. He sighed softly, not wanting to disturb you but knowing you needed proper rest.

“Sweetheart, we made it to the hotel,” He spoke a little louder this time, hoping it’d get you to wake, “We gotta get you checked in so you can get some in bed, yeah?”

He reached over to give your shoulder a soft rub, trying to ease you awake gradually.

“Hmm,” you groaned, eyebrows furrowing together as you fidgeted around and turned away from him, body curling towards the passenger door.

Waking you up didn’t seem like a possibility, your body too exasperated to even make out his voice calling out to you, and it was probably in his best interest if he just made sure you got to your room to rest. Letting his hand slip away, he came around to your side, gently opening the door, and reaching in with one arm to support you while the other unclasped your seatbelt.

“Come on, I’m gonna help you out.” He murmured, shifting you into an upright position.

Carefully, Seth unzipped the jacket you’d borrowed from him earlier, slipping your arms back into the sleeves so he could lift you more easily.

Cradling you in his arms, he carried you out of the car, making sure you stayed upright against his side, as he shut the door and locked up the car, guiding your dead weight towards the hotel entrance.

The woman at the reception desk looked up with a warm smile as Seth approached, your head resting on his shoulder, still deep in sleep.

“Under what name?” The woman asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard, ready to get you both into your room.

Seth shifted slightly, adjusting his grip on you as he spoke, “Actually, we have two separate rooms. Hers should be under Levesque.” He told her, waiting for a room key to your suite before asking for his.

The woman’s smile faltered with a frown, shaking her head apologetically.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can only give the room information to the individual whose last name the room is under.” She said, gawking at your unconscious state.

Seth sighed, glancing down at you resting so peacefully in his arms. He didn’t have the heart to wake you up, just for a little room key.

“Look, I don’t want to wake her. She’s had a long day and she really just needs some rest.”

“I understand that, sir, but it’s policy.” The woman explained, “I’m afraid I can’t make any exceptions.”

She was just doing her job, and he understood that the predicament looked more than sketchy, but he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and he certainly wasn’t going to let you go to bed on the lobby couch.

“Okay, how about Rollins? My room.” He proposed, slipping his hand into his pocket, retrieving his identification.

She scanned over his ID, nodding and sliding it back towards him, then doing some typing on her keyboard getting the room information from the computer screen.

“Here you are, room 1306,” she slid the key across the countertop, and Seth quickly slipped it into his pocket before wrapping both arms around you securely again.

“It has a single king bed, but there’s also a pull out.” She added thoughtfully, but Seth didn’t miss the confusion on her face, not understanding why you both would have separate rooms to begin with.

“Thank you.” He nodded, keeping it short not feeling the need to explain himself, before carrying you through the lobby toward the elevators.

The nearest elevator began to close, and he quickly called out, hoping for the people inside to stop it.

Unbeknownst to him, the lift contained his buddies—the same ones who recognized his voice in an instant and stopped the doors from shutting at the list second. Jey snuck his hand out, prompting the doors to open once again, as there Seth stood with the boss’s daughter in his arms.

“Oh shit! Don’t tell me you’re going all vintage Triple H right now,” He shrieked, voice echoing in the small space and ringing out the corridor, causing everyone’s eyes to widen.

Seth ignored the comment, shifting your weight slightly to keep you snug in his hold as he stepped into the elevator. He didn’t have the usual energy to snap back a remark, too tired and frankly too concerned about getting you into bed to actually care.

Jimmy gave his brother a light smack on the back of the neck, silently telling him to cut it out, while both he and Naomi rolled their luggage aside to make room for the two bodies joining them.

“Thanks,” Seth mumbled, settling in as the doors closed behind him.

Roman leaned against the wall, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “You can’t be serious, can you?” his tone half serious, half amused not believing this was actually unfolding before his very eyes.

He knew that the closer Seth became to you, the risker things would become—not just the notion of the superstars making harmless jokes anymore, but substantial people backstage that would take notice and immediately tell your father of any funny business. And it seemed Seth wasn’t even thinking about that at all.

“What?” Seth shrugged his shoulders as much as he could without waking you, not knowing what the big deal was. “She fell asleep in the car and I tried to wake her up but it’s pointless.” He reasoned plainly.

Roman sighed, still a little skeptical, “What floor?” He asked, reaching over to push the button on the panel.

“Thirteen.” Seth replied, watching the button illuminate, the lift humming, as it took you all upwards.

Seth glanced down at you, gently readjusting your arms around his waist so you could stay comfortable. And like it was instinct, he felt your arms tighten around him, nuzzling your face deeper into the juncture of his neck.

His cheeks threatened to turn red, and a smile tugged violently at the corner of his lips, a kind of smitten he had to hold back, wishing he took a different elevator to conceal their eyes that bored into the two of you. He cleared his throat, cutting into the silence, trying to shift the focus away from the jokes that wanted to air out.

“Didn’t you guys leave the arena before us? You’re just getting in?”

Naomi rolled her eyes, shooting her husband a glare. “This man missed the exit and the stupid GPS rerouted us wrong.”

“Hey don’t blame me!” Jimmy protested, smacking his lips with a tsk, “there’s worse that could’ve happened like my ass on the verge of getting fired because I decided to kidnap the bosses daughter.”

Seth grumbled, closing his eyes with the shake of his head, hoping the damn elavator would hurry it up.

“Shut up.” Naomi smacked his arm lightly, her eyes softening when she looked at you. “She needs the rest. She was telling us about the wild goose chase they had her on tonight. Poor thing.”

“Exactly, thank you.” Seth looked over at the woman gratefully, nodding his head, as he spoke dryly towards the others, “It’s what friends would do for each other.”

Roman shook his head, stifling a laugh, “Yeah okay sure…friends.”

Finally, the elevator approached the thirteenth floor, slowing as Seth was ready to escape the confines, but of course not without one final jab from Jey.

“Nighty night…don’t let the ghost of papa H haunt you tonight.”

Everyone choked on their laughter, not wanting to possibly wake you and face the wrath of Seth himself. Roman stuck one hand out the door as it opened, pausing the automatic closure.

“See you in the morning, man.” He added with a knowing smirk, giving his brother a pat on the back, as Seth exited and headed down the hall to find his room.

Once he found it, he fished the key out of his pocket, sliding it into the slot. The lock mechanism whirled quietly in the stillness before the green light flickered on, unlocking the door. It wasn’t a suite, but the room had ample space for you both, though Seth knew he still had to grab the belongings from the car.

He stepped inside, gently kicking the door closed behind him, and without thinking his hand reached for the lock, turning it into place.

Guiding you over to the bed, he did his best to maneuver you as quick as he could, yet at the same time keeping his touch delicate not wanting to wake you so abruptly.

“Easy, easy,” he whispered, setting you down upright for a moment letting your forehead rest against his shoulder as he pulled back the sheets, then carefully rested you down back first.

He took a moment to adjust the pillow under your head, making sure you were comfortable, before kneeling down on the ground to work your shoelaces loose. Pulling your socked feet away from your sneakers, he set them aside before tucking your legs under the duvet.

“There we go,” He chuckled under his breath, impressed with himself that you hadn’t woken up through all the moving and noise.

He tucked you in carefully, making sure you were snug enough to where the blankets stopped at your chest. But you had done the same thing in the car—your fingers timidly creeping up, brushing against his as you pulled it up higher under your chin.

Seth couldn’t help but smile, standing there for a moment as he watched you relax even deeper into the bed. Your bones sensing the cushiony feeling underneath you and all the weight you had been carrying suddenly melting away with your breathing slowed and steady.

Content that you were safe and sound, he quietly slipped out of the room, triple checking to make sure the door was locked again before heading back down to retrieve the bags from the car. It was nearing almost one in the morning and his own fatigue crept into his bones and the socket of his eyes that wanted to droop asleep, yet all that he could feel was an odd sense of protectiveness over you.

He didn’t like the idea of being away from you, let alone being with anyone else in the state that you were in tonight.

What would’ve happened if he left the arena before you could find him?

What if you rode with someone else and they hadn’t made sure you were okay?

All the worries that you were the common denominator in eating away at the walls he was supposed to have up in order to protect himself. From what? He had no idea, but he knew well and sure that he couldn’t have let anything happen to you.

You had shifted around in the short time he was gone, this time laying on your side cuddled up into the blankets that practically swallowed you whole. The carpeted floors help cushion the sounds of the wheels rolling against them, setting his belongings in the corner near the couch on the opposite end of the room before setting your stuff near the closet.

There was weak light illuminating the darkness of your bag, your cellphone coming in with a few notifications, but what caught Seth’s eye was the red indicator on the battery icon. Thankfully, your charger was tangled up in your bag, and he quickly undid the loops before walking to your bedside and plugging it in for you to have come morning.

With everything settled, Seth walked over to the pullout couch, grabbing the clothed tab and tugging on it to reveal the full-sized bed. Certainly it wasn’t the comfiest thing for his stature or his back, but he had slept on worse, and he was lucky that he didn’t have to share it with anyone in a janky motel.

Shutting off the lights, and laying down, he still couldn’t get his mind off you as you laid just a few feet away from him. He hadn’t expected this was the way his night would end, but then again, he wouldn’t want it any other way—maybe a proper bed for the sake of his body, but he’d deal with the cards he had been dealt.

As you dreamed away, he wondered if you knew he’d make sure nothing happened to you. That you subconsciously trusted him enough, that even in your weakest, most vulnerable state, you knew he was there. And as his eyes began to blink slower by the second, completely sinking into sleep, in the back of his mind he hoped you knew that he could be that person.

And in the silence of the shared room, you and Seth dreamt away—but not far enough to escape each other.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: i hope you guys like chapter four of icsy!!! originally this chapter was supposed to be way longer, but i decided to split it--don't worry, chapter five is coming super soon after this one!!! let me know what you think about sethie and the princess ;D

taglist: @ellesmythe @wonderharryy @southerngirl41 @eringobragh420

[autistic-sidestep]

sidestep scar map

here's all the physical scar mentions of step's ive discovered so far that aren't choice dependent! (choice dep scars will be in another post). lemme know if i missed any!

edit: hi people from r/hostedgames o/

edit 2 (nov 8th): added some more i missed!

edit 3 (nov 30th 2024): put these all (excepting the photographs related one because i'm not sure that's ever confirmed in the text itself) on the wiki!

(cw for sh/sui mentions and graphic injury description)

general

"Have you seen me?" You don't bother to hide your sneer. Even with your clothes on, there are enough scars and marks that many people would pay dearly to remove them. (ch 22, argent meetup) Regenerate…the notion is a tempting one; could it work on your tattoos? You've tried cutting and burning, but there's just too much, you'd be scarred and mutilated before you were done, but this…this prototype, could it help you too? (ch 19, etc, regenerator discovery) "What?" A moment's confusion and then—finally—he adds up the dots. His frown deepens, and he looks between your face and your chest, marred by scars and brightly orange tattoos, marking you as other. As not human. "Are you saying that—" (ch 22, flystep apartment scene) "Do you like scars?" you tease, taking one of [Daniel']s hands, tracing it across one on your chest. An ugly one, a remnant from an angry attempt to carve away your tattoos until the drugs couldn't keep the pain at bay any longer. (ch 22, flystep apartment date) It's a slow, circling motion over the small of your back, palm against skin, warm fingers tracing the deep scars you both know are there. And a few that ${he} doesn't. (ch 17, hoots makeout) ${his} hands are running over your skin, over your back. You know ${he}'s tracing scars, the same as you, and having an easier time of it. No fancy hospitals for your body, just your own skills, and no need to make it look pretty. (ch 21, chargestep apartment nsfw)

autopsy (incision) scar(s?)

"I obtained…pictures." He lets out a sigh, rubbing his face. "Classified. Highly classified. I assumed they were from the autopsy." He focuses on you. "Your autopsy." […] "The damage from the fall was horrific…you looked dead. Opened up." (ch 22, steel bar meetup)

legs

You remember that [Psychopathor] fell against the wreckage, and it moved and caused you to scream out loud as it dug into your leg. There's still a scar there somewhere. (ch 2, warehouse fight)

face

"Yeah, things changed. For me." You touch your face without intending to. The thin scars there are the most obvious legacy of your fall, of the window tearing into you like memories. (ch 21, hoots) "I'm not the only one with scars." He rubs the side of his face as he looks at you, and you have to fight not to do the same. You can feel your own face itch with the need to pick at your scars. "Yeah," you admit with a tired sigh. "Looking into the mirror is not fun." For more reasons than one, but you'd be lying if the scars weren't one of them. Bad memories imprinted on your flesh, a reminder of nightmares you can't ever forget. It's interesting, really, the way they see you as another vet. Are you looking out of place enough for that? A helping of scars. The nervous awareness. (ch 22, steel bar meetup)

hands/wrists

"Does it say that the scar on your hand always itches when you're stressed?" (ch 22, flystep apartment date)

"I'm not sure about this," he says, looking down at your scarred hands as if he could read your mind. Soft. Human. He doesn't want to hurt them. (ch 25, post puppet crash step leg rights, chen apartment minddive)

You let Ortega take your hands in [theirs]. Warm. Calloused. Scarred. Just like yours. You can't help but trace the edge of ${his} mods where they break the skin, strangely cool to the touch. (ch 21, trans mc ortega apartment reveal)

You look down at hands so much cleaner than your own. $!{puppet_name} hides all scars. (ch 18, puportega stakeout)

"It feels like they do," you say, scratching one of the scars on your hand a little nervously. "I wish I could tell you, but I can't." […] Your hands are clenched. Hard enough that your knuckles are white. There are a few scars across them, memories of punching things you shouldn't punch. People. Armor. Walls. […] You press two fingers against your wrist, feeling your pulse, feeling the scars. It's a familiar sensation, but instead of the weight pressing against your shields, you feel like a balloon, ready to burst. (ch 17 - finch therapy scene)

arms

tattoo removal attempts

You tried to get rid of them after your first escape. A specialist, suitably coerced. You still have the scar on the inside of your arm where the lasers didn't quite take. Too deep. Something she had never seen before, and she wasn't lying. Almost as if they were regenerating. (ch 15/ch 17, reader regenereveal tag )

You've tried lasers to remove them. You've tried dermabrasion. You even flayed off a piece of your own skin, and while that worked, it left another scar, a deep one. You know it's not possible to do that for your entire body. It's too much surface area; the process would kill you or leave you maimed. Not exactly the life you want. _(ch 15/ch 17, reader regenereveal tag / ch 19, puppet auction)

You tug at your sleeve; it keeps clinging to your sweaty skin. The small hairs on the back of your arm stand on end. The scars are visible now, the ones you made yourself. The ones where you tried to remove them. (chapter 19, argent regene reveal)

"I'm not lying anymore." You very slowly tug your sleeve up, rolling it past the scars, past the places where you tried to obliterate the tattoos, up to where they peek out beneath the fabric. Sharp. Orange. Inhuman. Like you. You look away, regulating your breathing, keeping a straight face as ${mhis} fingertips trace the edges of the design. There's a slight "tsk" at the burn scars that cut them off, no doubt ${mhe} is adding the clues together. […] "I tried to burn parts of them off," you say, […] so ${mhe} doesn't need to ask. "Didn't work too well. Needs third-degree burns, or they'll grow back." "Really?" $!{mhe} bends your arm, and you shift to allow it. "Fascinating." "Flaying works if you cut down to the flesh." Your voice sounds dispassionate even to your own ears, and Dr. Mortum takes a step back with a shocked look on ${mhis} face. "I'd hate to know how you found that out." "Other arm." You tug your sleeve down now that ${mhe}'s stopped touching you. (ch 20, "good" mortum mc reveal at the lab)

Holding your breath, you raise your arm in front of you, watching the pale green hospital robe slip back, revealing the intricate tattoos etched into your skin, broken only by scars. Neon orange. (ch 24, mccrash, revoked legrights)

dog bite

Some [dogs] were kept to guard the perimeter; you got bit once for straying outside. You still have the scar on your arm, a reminder that things that are hurt inevitably turn on each other. (ch 15, 1st boneyard scene)

general arm scars

It's so easy to feel human around ${him}. So easy to ignore the fear. Your sleeves are rolled up to your elbows. Anything more would risk revelations you aren't ready for, but even like this, the scars are enough for conversation. […] *if suitag: The bubbles hide most; you keep them buried deep in the soapy water to make sure ${he} doesn't look. (ch 21, ortega apartment dishes)

sh scars (suitag dep)

The scars on your arms are hidden under your sleeves, and maybe they would be something you could talk about. Something she would expect. A safe revelation of self-harm. *if suitag: Across. Not lengthwise. Your one deal with yourself. Not yet. You have things to finish first." (ch 17, finch therapy scene)

[r0ttenhearts]

I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH YOUR ANGST FICS

IVE READ THAT ONE HEIZOU ONE OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND IM CURRENTLY CRYING ABT IT RIGHT NOW

( i really need more heizou angst, pretty please… with a cherry on top )

ANYWAYS I LOVE UR WORKS

🫶🫶🫶🫶

you’re just like them

heizou x reader x slight scaramouche

sypnosis: heizou’s promise to make a new life together after your breakup with scaramouche crumbles

warnings: angst, no comfort, infidelity

“i hate seeing you like this (y/n).” heizou’s soft whisper shook your core as you dropped the shard of glass into the sink. in a fit of rage you had struck your mirror, clutching a shard in your hand at an attempt to clean it up. but you couldn’t let it go. not until the glass sliced through your skin and heizou found you. his concerned voice cut through the still air. none of it felt real, even now.

“i hate feeling like this.” you could only whisper back. your hair now framing your face as silent tears slipped down your cheek. heizou took a step closer to your form that was over the bathroom sink. hesitant arms wrapping around you as you silently wept.

heizou knew you had seen it. the way scaramouche had flaunted a new girl only a few days after dumping you. the new girl in his life had claimed it was their one month anniversary, heizou knew you’d heard it by the way your eyes widened and hands shook.

what he didn’t expect was the rage that came out of you. he expected some tears, but not the angry scream that left your usually sweet lips. the silence that followed the glass shattering was what scared him the most. he’d never seen you in such a state.

but with a gentle tug, heizou had you seated on your couch. a first aid kit next to him on the cushion. he pressed an alcohol pad against your palm where the cut was. you sucked in your teeth at the sting, but didn’t say a word.

with the first wrap of gauze he broke the silence. “i want you to be happy, (y/n). i want you to lean on me in your times of need.. not do things like this. i know i’m scaramouche’s friend but, you come first. i don’t think i can even look at the guy after he’s done this to you.”

your blank stare embarrassed him as he cleared his throat, finishing the wrapping on your hand. “i just care about you, (y/n). i want you to know that. i don’t want you to feel like you’re alone. i’ll make you happy, i promise. i want you to have a happier, better life. one without him.”

“okay.” you whispered. “okay, what?”

“i think.. after everything, you’re the only one who’s shown real care for me. everyone else sided with him. i guess you really are all i have.” you almost mumbled, speaking low as heizou shifted closer to you to hear. he nodded gently before pulling you to him, hugging your shaking form. you hadn’t noticed you were shaking, or the tears that didn’t seem to stop.

after that night things seemed to look up for you. every morning you’d wake up to heizou’s knock at your door. his usual playfully flirty smile on his lips as he’d help you get ready for the day, or follow you around when you had errands. he made it a point to be at your place at least once a day.

the gradual closeness had you weary at first. he was scara’s friend first, after all. you had met heizou at kazuha’s bong party only a year prior. you both had sat in a corner for most of the party after everyone had taken a hit. scara had a tendency to get angry, and you fully intended on staying away from that. but heizou had unexpectedly joined you.

you figured he only made you that promise to get dirt to tell scaramouche. after two months of the same routine with heizou you let your guard down. with that he was almost always with you. he’d find himself at your place more than his own after five months.

five months turned into a new years promise. his hands clutching one of yours as he professed his hidden feelings for you, which you timidly accepted. no one had made you feel the way you felt for him. not as safe or valued.

your third month anniversary didn’t go as planned, though. heizou was late to the reservation you had made for the special day. your brows furrowed as you typed another text to him, asking him where he was.

you didn’t receive a response. so you left, 30 minutes after the time you had gotten to the restaurant.

you blinked back angry tears as you walked to your car. how could he do this to you? he was always with you, so where was he now?

your car door hastily opened and closed, throwing your bag into the passenger seat as you stared at the open chat with heizou. it was filled with nothing but messages and messages from you. his texts were now but a few words long, always short. while your side had multiple lines. had it always been like this?

you had noticed how he shifted away from you during the movie the other night, but you figured he was just getting more comfortable. not getting away from you.

“let me get the door for you, my dear.” a familiar muffled voice made your head shoot up as you saw him. his familiar mop of burgundy hair with that flirty smirk as he held the door open for a woman with blonde hair. you could see the pink tinting her cheeks from behind your windshield. she giggled as he winked, going inside with her, his hand holding onto her hip as the door closed behind them. behind the door for the same restaurant you had made a reservation for.

oh. oh.

taglist: @samarill @whorerificstuff @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @jaderose18 @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @reblog-crazily @gh0sts0up

[sukiipjs]

✮ BLONDIE : PT 2

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

↳ nick sturniolo x masc reader

↳ words - 1961

↳ summary - you’ve been having a hard time realizing and accepting the fact that you’re gay, and in love with your best friend. you try to ignore the feelings but that only makes everything worse until you can’t hide it anymore.

↳ contains - swearing, use of y/n, angst, crying, verbal fighting, idrk 😭 [READ PT 1 - PT 3]

↳ song - blondie by current joys

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

days after and nick hasn’t texted me since. no more random tiktok’s, no more check ins, just complete nothingness now. i don’t blame him of course, i’d do the same if he was being as shitty as me right now. but honestly i miss those texts so so much, even if i rarely responded to him, or more so i miss the texts we had before all this stupid shit started.

but again, i truly don’t even know when it all started, it was so easy to just brush this off these feelings and whatever as a friend thing before and not think of it too much. why can’t it just be a friend thing now?

actually i think ive just accepted it all at this point though. i love him and no it’s not just a friend thing, it’s way more and it always has been way more. sure i might wish it wasn’t, but it is and i know it is and i cant just ignore it.

i’m not even trying to get rid of it anymore, i don’t have the strength for hiding it. honestly i think if i kept trying to get rid of it, it wouldn’t even work. obviously i still won’t tell him, or anyone, unless he pries it out of me. i know he doesn’t feel the same and i doubt he even looks at me as a friend anymore.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

i continue repeating my own sad cycle of doing nothing but staying in bed, hiding myself from the world… without nick. i still check up on his socials, being the weird stalker that i am and looking at all the story’s and snapchats he posted of himself, he looks just fine without me, of course.

i lay in bed, staring at my phone to avoid looking at the mess around my room. i scroll and scroll, starting to see a weird amount of videos of people taking care of themselves or videos of people ‘spring cleaning’.

i scroll away, i really don’t need to see people functioning completely fine right now, it’s like their taunting me, laughing at me. but the videos just keep coming back, haunting me, laughing at me. all i see through my scrolling cycle is random ass dog videos, cleaning and organizing videos, or nick edits… and that’s exactly what i need.

i let out a loud sigh, slightly rolling my eyes then rolling over to my other side, having my blanket wrap around me. i choose to just swipe off the app and throw my phone to the side of me before closing my eyes and just trying to get some sleep. that way those videos, my stupid feelings, and not even nick can haunt my mind anymore.

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

my eyes flicker open, the sun shining directly in my face and i finally decide to actually do something good for myself and go out for a walk when the sun and clear weather is still out, it’s been raining almost the whole time i’ve seen dying in my room alone.

i slowly move myself up to sit, leaning my back on the wooden headboard behind me and sitting on some pillows below that cushion me. i stretch out my arms in front of me, yawning and running my fingers through my hair to fix the shaggy mess.

i move myself off my bed, stand up then fixing my off center shirt and trying to flatten out a few wrinkles. i throw the blanket that covered me to the side and decide to just throw the shirt and pants that i wear off me -actually putting them somewhere other than on the floor too- i pick out a clean outfit, already feeling way less gross, it’s the small things that count right.

i walk out my room, not forgetting to grab my phone to come with me before going into my bathroom, splashing my face with water to get me more awake. i run my hands in my hair again, fixing it up with my mirror in front of me so i can actually see what i’m doing before grabbing some actual water giving myself something to drink other than dr pepper.

finally i walk out to go by my door, grabbing a light jacket and pulling it over my arms then putting on my shoes and heading out the door. i start off to go a longer way, turning the corner of the sidewalk. i feel all the small breezes on my skin as i get actual sun and nature.

i continue walking random ways, i just want to be out of the mess that i’ve been living in for so long right now. it actually feels nice to be outside, not sitting in a gross hole of dirty clothes and dishes.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

i walk, making my way around the neighborhood, my eye catching all the small colorful flowers blooming up and all the small brown squirrels scurrying to run up trees as i pass them. i remember all the times me and nick went out, running around the streets when we were younger. not thinking of anything, just being kids living a simple life. i wish it was still that simple.

as i walk, still obviously thinking of nick, i notice the sky above graying and clouds starting to cover up the sun, shit. i start to walk a little faster, hopefully being able to get home before it pours but as soon as i speed up, small water drops start to fall on me.

i grab the end of my jacket to pull it over my head, holding it over me to shield out the rain. the sides of my jacket block my view as i focus on the path i walk to my place.

i look down at my feet walking, trying not to get too wet as the rain pours more and more, bouncing off the sidewalk. suddenly i feel two hands place on me, pushing me back, “the fuck.” i mutter as i look up, gaining my balance on my feet again. “oh” my face softens as i see nick standing in front of me, his blonde hair damp and drops of water falling from his cheek. he stares at me, i can tell he’s mad and obviously i can tell it’s my doing.

“nick-“ he cuts me off quickly, slightly pushing against my shoulders again as i put my jacket down, wearing it normally, my head now getting pelted with rain. “no, i talk. what the fuck y/n. honestly what has been going gone, you’ve completely ignored me for weeks, you keep blowing me off and i don’t fucking know what i did and the only way i can talk to you about this is randomly bumping into you since you won’t even answer my texts?”

“nick-“ i sigh as i try speaking again but he pushes me back once more. his glassy eyes narrow and i see water pooling in them, i can’t tell if it’s rain or tears. “no! you’re my- you’re supposed to be my best friend and this shit isn’t cutting it y/n! just what is it! what is it. what did i do please just talk to me. if you hate me or something just tell me!” he shouts, his fists starting to clench as i wipe the wet hair in my face away.

“nick stop. you- you didn’t do anything i promise, i’m sorry okay” my voice croaks, i can feel the water pooling in my own eyes now. “then what is it! you can’t just block me out, out of no where.” i shake my head, trying to figure out how to say an actual explanation without saying too much. “nick i’m sorry!”

“stop apologizing! i’m not asking for that, i’m asking for an answer, please. i feel like shit and you haven’t even been there, i kept trying to talk and hang out with you but apparently you hate me now and never want to see me again, i get it!” he scoffs, staring me down as his eyes shut, tears dropping as he takes a breath before opening his eyes back up, wiping off the mixture of tears and rain.

“like i said, if you hate me or suddenly don’t want to be my friend, tell me. i truly, truly, don’t understand this shit your pulling and if you won’t talk now then when will we? you’ll just ignore me again so just spit it out now!” nick keeps rambling on and i just stare at him, seeing how hurt i’ve actually made him. i don’t know what to say, i really don’t.

i just want to shut him up, have him realize that it’s my fault and i don’t hate him. i cut him off as he continues to yell at me, “nick!” my voice feels weak as he shouts back, “what!” i stare at him for a moment, seeing those blue eyes i miss, those star earrings, his grown out roots and before i know it my hands go up to his face, pulling him in as our lips press together.

my hands hold him as strands of his hair poke my fingers, our noses slightly brushing against each others. i quickly step back, eyes wide as i realize what i just did, taking my hands back. “i-im sorry“ my breath is short before i turn around, running away from him to get back to the shit hole of comfort i’m living in to avoid what i just confessed.

i swear i hear him try to call my name but i ignore it, i can’t see him. what did i just do. i can’t even process any of this.

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

i finally reach my place again and i swiftly open my door and walk inside, standing as raindrops slide off of me, creating a small puddle on the floor below. i shake off my hair a little, flicking the water droplets off of me. i take off my jacket, putting it on a hook to let it dry as i take off my shoes too, leaving them by the door.

i wipe my face off with the palms of my hands, wiping off many of my tears that still fall. i walk over to my fridge, getting out another dr pepper then walking over to my couch, slumping down into it as i set my can down and wrap a blanket around myself to warm me up again.

i slowly slide to the side, laying myself down on the cushions. why the actual fuck would i kiss him? what that really the best thing i could do? he already hated me, i did not have to make it worse. i ponder in my head, genuinely trying to find a valid reason of why i just kissed my best friend that hates me. oh. my. god. i’ve ruined my life -not like it was already ruined- i’m never coming back from this.

i stare at the unopened dr pepper sitting on my coffee table, i try making myself reach for it but my arms don’t want to leave the warmth of the blanket i’m huddled in. i hear my phone buzz next to the dr pepper on, i also cannot seem to have my arm reach out to see who’s calling, i hope it’s not who i think but why would he even call me?

rain pelts out on my window, water sliding down the cold glass of it as i lay holding my blanket close to me, pulling the blanket over my eyes as they close, resting as i try forget about my phone continuously buzzing and the drink still on my table.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt @freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @whore4matt @txssvx @will-yummy @matty-bear @venusbabysblog @m0r94n

[junkyardstrash]

my thoughts on the new sleep token masks and what's next:

the boys have been hinting at this type of change for a while now, iii's paint slowly turning red and iv and ii taking off their masks at the show just before wembley. I think thr new album will be more metal and overall more heavy, similar to their songs vore and gods.

I don't think these changes are necessarily meant to be seen as a part of the TMBTE cycle, they quite literally said "a new era" on each of their posts, these masks are hinting at and showing us what to expect for the next era. Sleep Token is very deliberate with what they choose to do appearance wise and their lore so although these masks are a very drastic change, it's all part of the plan.

NOW for lore.... TPWBYT and Sundowning were kinda defeat albums, Vessel being at his lowest while TMBTE is a redemption album, Vessel taking control back in his life from Sleep and his insecurities/past faults. that being said- the next album will probably be Sleep fighting Vessel back. I think what's happening is that Sleep takes different forms of Vessels insecurities and past faults so Sleep is using this to their advantage, using the other vessels (ii, iii, and iv) as their puppets. the toxic back and forth cycle between Sleep and Vessel is ending so Sleep is taking the manipulation up a notch. the new masks look very intimidating and it's all deliberate, Sleep is possessing the other vessels and shaping them into Vessels (i) fears as a way to get to Vessel (i), I mean, what would be a better way to get to Vessel if not to use the band as a way to get to him?

people say the masks clash too much and they don't look consistent but I think that's exactly what's supposed to happen. Sleep is using ii, iii and iv as Vessels INDIVIDUAL insecurities. Vessel sees the others and its a mirror of his faults. or maybe they quite literally wanted to look more individual rather than have the same look as one another 🤷‍♀️

the next album will be like a videogame boss fight between Vessel and sleep

some other stuff I noticed and some more theories. do these mean anything? who knows! this is just me rambling:

Vessel has runes written all over his body, I couldn't exactly make out what they say but just going off the fact that it's runes- it can either be 1. a protection barrier from Sleep or 2. another way that Sleep is slowly taking over vessel

it seems like the mouths on the masks are getting wider and wider in order from ii, iv, iii, and then Vessel. while all the others have the band sigil across their eyes, ii is the only one who has it across his mouth. considering ii is the second vessel and Sleep is struggling to control Vessel(i), what if theyre going for ii? using him as the main vessel? he also imo has the most intimidating looking mask out of everyone so...

or maybe iii is gonna get a mic and thats why his mask is open HEHE

my sister pointed this one out- iii had gold on his hands as he was transitioning to the red body paint and as we all know, iii and iv are very touchy on stage, iii always lifting ivs mask up, them kissing, etc etc. now iv has gold on his mask, what if iiis gold paint from his hands transferred to ivs mask? what would this mean? IDK maybe it's another Sleep tactic or we're looking too much into it lmao

iv also has Vessels leg wraps on his arm? what's up with that?

ANYWAYS lmk your thoughts, my mind is going crazy rn and I think people are taking the mask changes at face value rather than thinking about why they look the way they do now and how it fits in the lore

[luniidae]

~ A BIT OF ~

KINDNESS

Chapter IV

Note: Yay young Gortash !

Hi everyone! Here is a... Kind of a chill chapter ? To be honest, I wrote it to join two chapters together 🫣

____________________________________

Raphael didn't seem to be mad at Luvia. Anyways, he continued to treat her just the way he used to. He kept teaching her a whole bunch of things, from the history of the Hells to that of her disappeared people, and even poetry. Korilla (who was in charge of teaching her the practice of magic) sometimes took pleasure in teasing Raphael about it.

"Is everything alright with Luvia ?", the dwarf asked.

"Assuredly. She's very perceptive and attentive. I must admit that I look forward to see how things will be going", the devil replied, his voice slightly filled with satisfaction and excitement.

Korilla chuckled and the cambion raised an eyebrow, looking at her.

"What is so funny, Korilla ?", he asked.

"It seems like you've grown attached to her over time."

His eyes widened, as if he didn't want to admit it.

"Don't be ridiculous....", then he paused for a few seconds before adding, "How did you make this conclusion though ?"

He was staring at her, a hand leaning on a piece of his desk, the other on his hip, waiting for her explanation.

"I didn't know poetry was useful to conquer the Hells", she said with a grin. 

Raphael was keeping his eyes on her, expressionless, as if he was looking for a proper answer he eventually didn't find. He took a deep breath and turned on his heels without saying a word, vexed.

Korilla chuckled.

"You'd be surprised by the power of the words...", he finally said. 

"Oh I have no doubt"

Meanwhile, in the corridors....

For his part, Enver had recovered from his lynching session, as he always did.... But it wasn't that bad thanks to Luvia. That wouldn't stop Nubaldin from beating him again, but at least this time she maybe had avoided him the worst.

Luvia didn't approach him anymore, but he could briefly see her from the corner of his eyes from time to time, observing him from a distance. She may thought he didn't notice her... He missed their little interactions though. The food she used to bring him was always more than welcome, but most of all, he eventually got used to her presence.

He wondered why she was there though, in this so-called "House of Hope". Was she really Raphael's daughter ? It was strange to him as the cambion seemed to love no one but himself.

But he didn't plan to stay long enough to find out. Enver was smart; "too" smart according to his parents, those very same who had not hesitated to sell him to the devil. He would pay them a visit someday.... All he had to do was to find a way out. 

The young boy already had the occasion to see the mirrors room. He had observed them and had seen the worlds through them.

Waterdeep, Neverwinter, Luskan..... And of course.... Baldur's Gate. This is where he once lived, and he was determined to get back there. He would prove to the entire city, and the world, that you wouldn't get rid of him that easily.

Enver smirked at this thought, thinking about his escape, imagining his parent's face when he'd come back. All of this sounded fabulous. 

But he had not the time to think any further about it since he noticed someone 3 meters away from him: Luvia. She was standing there, facing him without a word or expression, but her scarlet eyes looked friendly, almost compassionate. 

Enver didn't know how long she's been there, but he said nothing. It's been about two weeks since what happened in the prison..

But something had changed since their last encounter. She looked confident, or resigned.

After a few seconds, Enver decided to break the silence.

"You're supposed to stay away from me"

She seemed about to say something, but instead, she assuredly headed towards him and took him in her arms. The young girl couldn't believe she was doing that, but she didn't have the occasion to apologize for what happened to him because of her. And maybe she would never have the opportunity to do it. 

Enver's breath got cutted by surprise. He didn't give the hug back, but it didn't stop her from holding him tight against her.

"I am sorry", she finally whispered in his ear.

That was the first time he heard her voice. It was soft and calm, and so different from what he used to hear. Enver was usually surrounded by the Eternal debtors and his jailor. Between the cries of despair or madness from ones and the barks from the other, there was no place for kindness and yet....

It was also pleasant to feel another kind of "grip" for once, he thought. 

Luvia could sense his bones through his clothes, and he could feel her little heart beating against him. That sounded weird to him.... He wasn't used to that kind of proximity with anyone. Even with his parents. 

Suddenly, she took a step back when she heard Nubaldin in the distance. She didn't want Enver to be punished because of her again... She was scared of the gnome, but she hated him more. She hadn't forgotten his expression while he was beating the young boy before her, how he seemed to have enjoyed it more than he should have. She was hoping to make him pay someday...

The jailor arrived in Enver's back, barking as always. 

"Hey shithead, you...", the gnome stopped himself and talked in a softer tone, which surprised his prisoner as it was very unusual from him, "Oh, Milady", he made a little bow, "My apologies, I hope you haven't been bothered by this...", he was looking for the right words but didn't find anything correct to say,".... Anyway, it won't happen again"

"You're the only one who's bothering me right now", she cutted him sharply. 

Enver and Nubaldin both looked at her with astonishment. None of them was expecting her to say that... And to be honest, Luvia didn't either. 

She happened to hear Raphael talking like this sometimes, and she had noticed the effect it had on people. She wanted to try it too.

Nubaldin went pale, "Of course Milady, I beg your pardon"

The young girl restreinted herself from smiling whereas she felt a pleasant feeling. She could almost understand Raphael, it gave her a sensation of.... Power ? Authority. That was a somewhat vague subject to her but it seemed to work somehow. 

But.... What was next ? What was she supposed to say after that ? Her brief moment of glory quickly vanished at this question. 

Luvia did her best to keep her calm and started to look for something to say.

"Aren't you able to speak to him without yelling ?", she asked rethorically.

"I.... Well, yes, I suppose...", he answered, frustrated and looking at Enver from the corner of his eyes, "But, you know... I'm not but a servent to my Lord and Raphael gave me specifical instructions for.."

"Does it imploy to be as noisy as possible ?", she continued.

Nubaldin looked annoyed. He didn't like Luvia. Not only because she was another child to handle, but mostly because of her sufficient look. He didn't understand why she was so important to his master. To him, she was nothing but another arrogant little brat.

"Should I report to Raphael that his beloved daughter disobeyed him again ?"

"What do you mean ? I was on my way to my chamber", she said, frowning. 

"Maybe....", he said shrugging his shoulders, "Or maybe not. After all, I just arrived and you two were here.... Together. And if I remember well, Raphael wasn't really happy about it the last time". 

Nubaldin knew that Luvia admired his boss as much as she was scared of his wrath. 

Enver could sense her frustration. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. Her eyes even began to glow for a moment, but she remained inflexible.

"That's what I thought", he added with a satisfied grin, then he looked at the boy, "You, with me. I'm not done with you yet, you bastard".

Enver wanted to fight back, he couldn't bear to be treated like that by this idiot. But he needed to keep a low profil if he wanted to have a chance to escape. He couldn't risk having his surveillance reinforced because of a misstep, so he followed the gnome without any protest. 

Luvia wanted to smile at him, to make him know he wasn't alone, that she cared. She really did. But her anger towards Nubaldin was so strong she couldn't feel anything else at this very moment.

She looked at him go without a word and ended up losing sight of them. 

She stayed in the corridors for a few seconds, thinking about what just happened, and what could happen to the young boy.

Anyways, she looked forward to grow up to show Nubaldin who he was dealing with...

To be continued....

Bonus:

[cupoftaae]

Life In Color - KTH drabble- The one with the pink dress ⋆｡°✩

summary- going wedding dress shopping with your future husband isn't typical, but you do it anyways.

pair- kth x female!reader

rating- 18+

A/N - hi guys! I hope you love these new drabbles, Tae and y/n are my favorite couple ive written and can't wait to deepen their story line. enjoy :) -Nini

"and who is this you've brought with you?"

"my fiancé"

The woman sitting front desk blankly looked at your large grin as you stood in a large puffer jacket, Taehyung behind you with the same smile plastered on his face.

"oh!" she finally spoke, "it's just most couples choose to wait for the dress reveal until the wedding"

You nod, you knew this was gonna be questioned.

You tried your best to explain that you wanted your husband to be the first to see it, instead of the last. You and him agreed that it would be better to surprise family. Was it conventional? no, but nothing you two did ever was.

Another woman came out from the back and led us into a try on room, mirrors surrounding the small couch that taehyung plopped down on, his own face slightly pink in anticipation to see you in a real wedding dress.

everything was becoming increasingly more real as the clock began to tic down to the wedding date.

"let me take your coat, baby" he whispered, pulling it off your shoulders as you stood.

"ok, im gonna go with her and pick out a few and i'll come back in once im ready" you giggled and kissed his nose, happily following the woman out to the room. The large isles of puffy dresses was slightly overwhelming to look at.

You were supposed to pick just one?

"so we will gather as many as you please, then eliminate them as we go until we find the dress that you feel most beautiful in"

You grinned and nodded, "sounds good"

Your eyes scanned, looking deeply at each unique design. you almost felt like an imposter standing here, this was a little too fancy.....and expensive.

Growing up on the poorer side meant now that you were 23, and had your own well earned money, you still had issues with spending it. Every item was a questionable "is it really that needed?" purchase. The fear of someday running out, all because you spent it on unnecessary items haunts you, even though that is far from realistic.

"so....tell me about your fiancé" the older woman spoke, her arms crossed as she followed you around the room, collecting anything that sparked your interest even in the slightest.

"well...." you blush, "we've known each other since we were little kids, and to be honest I think we were just meant for each other" you mentally cringe at the corny line that left your mouth. It was true though.

She grinned "how adorable, you both are rather young, I dont see a lot of kids in their early 20's getting married as much as before"

"yeahh..." you began, handing her a soft white gown to add to her small pile in her arms. "I guess we have spent so much time together that instead of waiting, we just knew what we wanted"

"that is very true, he seems as lovely as you and I'm positive it will work out. Whens the wedding?"

"February"

"3 months, that exciting. Most women have their dress a year before" she laughed softly

"yeah well we didn't have much time to plan, we are not super fancy and its just gonna be a small wedding with our parents and siblings, nothing super big"

"small weddings are always sweet too, of course you wont get as much money with that little guests" she teased, making you secretly scrunch your face up.

"eh...not too concerned"

You did not care if you weren't going to get many expensive gifts or cash at your wedding, it didn't matter.

thats not really the point of the ceremony.

After a bit, you gathered only 3 dresses and began trying them on.

The first dress was a white puffy one, the skirt similar to a princess gown like you've seen in movies.

"tae?" you whispered, opening the door and walking in to see him on the couch.

His eyes widened as he took you in, a faint blush powdering his cheeks. "i.....woah"

The woman laughed as she had you stand on the platform in front of the mirrors.

"do you like it?"

He lagged for a moment, in shock before nodding, "ye-yeah, yeah I do, baby you look gorgeous" he smiled widely, unable to take his eyes off.

"this one is part of the new collection in stock, no one has bought it yet, its one of a kind and original" the woman began speaking as she flattened the skirt.

"oh wow, thats cool" you mumbled, eyes stuck on yourself in the mirror. It was kinda freaky to imagine yourself in a wedding dress since you were little, and now seeing it in real life.

Taehyung watched in awe of your beauty, but he couldnt help but notice your uncomfortable body language. He chose to stay silent as the worker began speaking once more.

"you look absolutely stunning in it, the price is about $9,000 right now, but of course that would probably be more in the higher 9k or even closer to 10k considering this is a bit big on you and would need alterations"

You felt your face drain, 10k for a white dress made of fabric you could buy at the craft store? Sure, it was an incredibly beautiful gown, but you were not about to pay that much for a one time wear.

"God, ...okay" taehyung lifted his winter cap from his head to itch his scalp in thought, putting it back down as he watched your expression.

"yeah uh...not gonna get this one" you whispered, looking at the worker

"thats okay, lets go try the other ones you picked"

Taehyung sat back down, part of him loving the way you were putting on a little fashion show for him, the other, concerned that you were bothered by something.

You stepped out in another dress, however this white one was more fitted, there was no train behind it, instead it hugged your curves.

Your fiancé smirked, watching as you stepped up to the platform.

"now, how do you feel? this one is from the summer collection, but you did say you were having an indoor wedding in February so you'll still be warm"

You thought for a moment, turning to see your body in the mirror, taehyung stood behind you, "you look so beautiful baby" he smiled

You shrugged, offering an iffy smile "I dont know"

before you knew it, your eyes were tearing up for NO reason.

The worker noticed how concerned taehyung had gotten and she spoke up, "i'll be right back"

When the door shut, he gently took your hands and made you face him, he whispered "whats wrong, hm? why are you so sad, my love?"

"I dont know" you whispered, his fingers wiping your eyes. "I just dont feel as pretty as I thought I did in these, I feel like a fake to be honest"

"why is that?" he sounded angry, not at you, but at the thought you didnt see your own beauty.

"everything is just so expensive and I dont feel like it belongs on me" you sniff, his face softens.

"hey" he whispered, "my parents agreed to help the cost of your wedding dress, stop worrying"

"I know but its not fair to you guys, and besides, I just feel weird. I wish I could just wear whatever"

He smiles gently and brushes your hair. "what is it that you want?"

"see, I dont even know. I remember when I was a little girl I always wanted to wear a puffy baby pink gown" you laugh, "everything seemed so easy then huh"

He thought for a moment, "a pink dress hm? lets see if they have that here"

"are you serious? baby, I was just joking"

"so? try one on anyways my love"

"i dont know....I was like 10 when I said that and-"

"sh" he gently cupped your face, "these dresses arent doing it for you, and we wont stop until we find what makes you feel beautiful, ok? theres no harm in trying."

When the woman came back in, he softly explained the situation, and watched as she left to go find some options that fit the idea you wanted.

After a few moments, she returned with a dress she think you'd like/

"try this one, hun, I think its the closest to what you were telling me, its also the lightest shade of pink"

You glance at tae before nodding and going to change.

It fit on easily, only slightly big in the chest, but its nothing a quick sew job from your work friend couldnt fix.

You step out, watching Taehyungs expression widen at you "oh baby.....you are so beautiful, I love you"

You giggled as he kissed you, turning your body to look in the mirror. You teared up again, but this time not because you were sad.

The baby pink dress had laced long sleeves and a large flowing skirt, the waist sewn tight. It was just the right amount of sparkles added, and for some reason you knew that this is what 10 year old you would have wanted.

"i...I love it" you whispered

Taes eyes watered a bit, seeing the genuine reaction from you.

"how much is it?" you turned to the woman, she began to speak but taehyung stopped her,

"nope, doesnt matter"

"baby-"

"no, no, you love this dress"

You frowned and nodded

"im gonna take care of it, okay?" he kissed you gently, sharing a glance into your eyes through the mirror in front of you both.

"are you sure?"

"positive"

You waited a moment, holding his hand "I really do love it" you whispered

"so....is this the dress?" the worker smiled softly, watching you nod slowly as you wiped a tear "yeah...yeah this is the dress"

taglist-

@ohsweetmimosa

[calypsopoet2003]

The Donna Chronicles, Volume: IV

My Life as Donna's Loving Hypnotized Pantyhose Slave...

School had started, & I had neither seen nor heard from Donna or her son for a couple of months. So, imagine my surprise when I had come home from school one Friday afternoon, & when I stepped in the house I was greeted by Donna who was sitting in the living room with my Mom!

As soon as I had entered, Donna jumped up from where she had been seated on the couch with my Mom, moved to the hassock over by me, & said...

"Welcome Home, Sweetie! I am so happy to see you! I just came by on my way home from work to visit with your Mum! I was hoping I would get to see you! I have missed you so much!"

The sheer force of Donna's presence was, as always completely overwhelming to me... Especially when she was shoeless, in her silky white pantyhose, & a short skirted nurse's uniform showing off amazing hypnotically perfect legs & feet...

The shock of looking into Donna's beautiful smiling face made it so I couldn't help dropping my gaze to fixate on her perfect legs & feet... They were all that I wanted to see, all I could see, & all I could focus on...

I was very excited to see her, getting more, & more excited & aroused by the second. Before I was too far gone to notice, as I could feel myself starting to fall into a deep hypnotic trance for her... I had just managed to glance over at my Mom, & noticed she hadn't even looked in my direction... She just kept her vacant gaze on Donna with a small beatific smile on her face... Like Donna, she was shoeless wearing silky white pantyhose under her slacks.

I was now completely under Donna's hypnotic sway, but I realized that so my Mom... There was nothing I could do, or think about except to gleefully accept, embrace, & love anything & everything that Donna decided to do... She knew that will was my will, & seeing for herself that was the case, she smiled, & continued...

"Sweetie, your Mum & I have had a wonderful visit... We have been talking about it being such a shame that our boys don't see each other like you all used to... As we talked, your Mum really started to see things through my eyes, & started to see things exactly the way I do... In fact, like you she now sees everything exactly the way I do..."

What Donna said made me look away from her to briefly shift my gaze, glancing once again over at my Mom... I noticed that her gaze wasn't at all vacant, it was the same absolute loving adoration in her eyes, that mirrored how I felt when I gazed at Donna... She continued...

"It just made perfect sense to make her completely mine, just the way you are... Especially since I have been hypnotizing her over, & over again for so many years now... Not to mention that like you, she has always been such a wonderful subject, is so much happier now that she allows herself to truly love me, & belonging to me completely just like you!"

I was so deeply hypnotized at this point, that I didn't notice that my shoes & socks had also come off at some point exposing my silky white pantyhosed feet... All I could say in response was...

"Yes, Donna... Mmmumm looks so much happier now... You are our Hypnotic Pantyhose Mistress, & we are your Hypnotized Pantyhose Slaves..."

Donna smiled widely, & said...

"I am so glad that you approve & embrace me taking your Mum... The two of you are the perfect start of my harem of loving Hypnotized Pantyhose Slaves..."

In the throws of absolute hypnotic pantyhose bliss, I was lost in a sense of sexual euphoria, & was unable to form any coherent thoughts of my own. Donna capitalized on this, saying...

"So, my Love... You want so very badly to come with me... You cannot resist, & come to my home with me to spend the weekend... You have no choice really... Your Mum approves, & has already packed a bag for you... In fact, all you want to do is follow me around in your silky white pantyhosed feet andwherever I go... You can't help yourself... You MUST come with me..."

Deeply under Donna's thrall, & completely lost in the fuge of pleasure emanating from her beautiful silky white pantyhosed feet & toes... I could only respond...

"Yesssss, Donna... I... I want to come home with you... I musssst come home with you & obeyyyy..."

Donna continued to beam at us, reaching forward to lovingly pet us each on our deeply hypnotized heads, then she said to my Mom...

"...Now, Joanne... Thank you for packing our lovely boy's bag for him... You may now go to your bed for me, & lay down under the covers wearing only my beautiful silky white pantyhose... I want you to luxuriate in how wonderful they feel, in how much you love me, & how much you love being one of my Hypnotized Pantyhose Slaves just like your lovely son is... You will go to sleep & will dream of loving, obeying, & worshiping me..."

My Mom beamed lovingly at Donna, & responded...

"Yesssss, Mistressss... I love you, & I obeyyyy..."

...& then she slowly padded off to her bedroom. Then Donna continued to me...

"...& as for you, my Sweet Boy... You will rise, grab your sneakers & follow me. Your Mum has already packed your bag for me, & it is already in my car. All you have to do... All you want to do is follow me wherever I go, obey me without hesitation, & to love & worship every chance you get..."

I responded the only way I could...

"Yessss, Mistressssss...follow you wherever you go...obey you without hesitation...love & worship you every chance I get... I love you, & I obeyyyy..."

I had no choice, nor any thought except obeying my Hypnotic Pantyhose Mistress's commands. I then picked up my sneakers, & slowly followed her to her car... Neither of us had put our shoes back on, & I couldn't help but be transfixed by her beautiful silky white pantyhosed legs, feet, & toes as I followed her to her side of the car...

"Yesssss, Misstressss!!!"

Completely oblivious to everything but for Donna's silky white pantyhosed assets, I simply obeyed & was treated to a few minutes of worshiping her, before she drove us home.

She continued to speak to me on the ride, & I heard every single word she said, but I was in such a deep hypnotic trance for her that it is if everything she had said to me just took root in my subconscious, sort of like programming a computer.

When we got to her new place, we got out of her car, & still very deeply hypnotized I followed her inside. On our way to the house from the car, she told me that this house was just a temporary place for them to stay while they were waiting for their permanent home to finish being renovated & remodeled. Once we were inside, & got ourselves settled, she said...

"Sweetie, I want you to disrobe down to just your beautiful pantyhose, & put this on for me..."

She handed me a silky white shift that nicely & flatteringly contoured me, & went down to my upper mid thighs showing off my beautiful white silky pantyhosed legs, feet, & toes... I could see that Donna was putting on an identical garment, & that seeing her in that ensemble was strengthening her hypnotic, as well as her sexual hold over me...

Once we were dressed as Donna wished, she smiled at me, & said...

"...How does THAT feel, Honey? I wanted everything to be as perfect as we could manage to greet our guests... Patricia is bringing over a new recruit to submit herself to me, pledge herself to us, & to be fitted for her pair of my silky white pantyhose to bind her to me, & to us..."

Pat showed up that evening with a woman named Denise in tow... I had come to realize that both these women had a connection to my Mom... As it turns out, Pat used to work with my Mom at the Dentist she currently worked for, & Denise was engaged to that same Dentist, & was working with my Mom there. It was a trifecta over there at Dr. Montmony's office between Pat, my Mom, & Denise all belonging to Donna as her Hypnotized Pantyhose Slaves...

Pat was relegated to record keeping duties, as she specializes in this skill in her secular life.

As I was commanded to our Hypnotic Pantyhose Mistress with presenting Denise's with a pair of Donna's silky white pantyhose... Donna puts in a great deal of effort bringing a subject down deep enough to truly enslave them to her. She had to remove her shift, as her concentration may slip if she overheats during the session.

However, once Denise was completely enslaved to Donna, & wearing her new pair of Donna's silky white pantyhose... Donna took great pride in her newest lovely thrall...

Every one of us, Donna included worshipped each other's feet with wild abandon. It was such a lovely night, & it went later than Donna had either planned or expected. As such, the other ladies were still there when my nightly devotional hit me while we were all in Donna's bedroom together. Apparently,I provided the end of the night entertainment for the evening.

The rest of my weekend with Donna was just as lovely, though it was just us... We had a variety of hypnosis related fun & games, as well as ordinary board games, cooking together, long discussions, completing a few household chores together, etc. All of which were done with us wearing our white pantyhose & shifts...

When Donna took me home, I was still wearing my pantyhose & the shift she gave me under my street clothes... I was wide awake for the ride, & deliriously happy... We got back to Mom & Dad's house, & Donna helped me inside with my things... I looked down & realized that I was still shoeless, & showing my pantyhosed feet...

I started to panic, but I was suddenly snapped into a deep hypnotic trance for her, & calmed down... Donna was going barefoot as well... We approached the front door, & before we went in she said...

"... That's right, relax... It's fine... Only your Mum is home... When we go in, I want you to bring your things to your room, & then come back out to me in the living room so you can say goodbye to me..."

I responded...

"Yesssss, Misstressss... I love you, & I obeyyyy..."

I padded to my bedroom with my things for my Hypnotic Pantyhose Mistress, & headed back out to her when I finished. When I got out to the living room, Donna & my Mom were sitting on the couch together...

Donna & I had only a precious few encounters before they moved into their permanent place... They were abridged, but lovely. One such encounter was in the basement of their second temporary place... I was sleeping over as Mike's guest, & was sleeping on the couch in the pavement. I woke in the middle of the night with a face full of Donna's lovely silky white pantyhosed feet & toes to nuzzle & worship. She had worked the evening shift & was in her nurse's whites. As soon as she got home, she ran down to the basement to drop me & have me worship her thoroughly before turning in herself...

Another such encounter was on Christmas Eve at my parents'house... I was in my room playing guitar while staying out of my folk's way, & waiting for the guests to arrive. Suddenly there was a knock on my door, & it immediately opened to Donna rushing in, again barefoot in her nurse's whites... She said...

"...Hi Buddy! Merry Christmas! Now Sleep! Remove your shoes & socks for me, & devour my feet!"

Completely stunned, & equally deeply hypnotized, I responded...

"Yessssssss, Misstressss... I love you, & I obeyyyy..."

...& I obeyed my Hypnotic Pantyhose Mistress without hesitation! Later when I finally left my room once I composed myself, I had the shock of my life... Everyone at the party, male & female alike were shoeless, showing white pantyhosed feet, & when I looked down, so was I!!!

...& the world may have continued to spin, but as always it continues to revolve around Donna, our beyond beautiful Hypnotic Pantyhaose Mistress!

Look for "The Donna Chronicles V" to continue my Story as Donna's Only Male Hypnotized Pantyhose Slave...

[badnew2005]

can u explain what clip show/chokes says about dennis’ whole running away/facing reality/holding tight behavior?

oooh this is my fav topic i feel like i’m talking ab the same point over and over again BUT IM NOT GOING TO STOP !!!! i’m assuming this is the post ur referencing and i’m gonna keep using these parameters etc. this is definitely not the best ive ever talked ab this but !! its whats happening rn !!!

there’s a bit at the very end of clip show that has always felt absolutely dripping in desperation from dennis it’s right after their phones all finish updating the “thank god we’re back to normal” but everyone ignores him while he waits for a beat too long trying to laugh and smile ab it all like. it’s always read to me as the “normal” dennis wants is their past their youth, specifically before mac came out and before he left. dennis’ fight or flight has been acting up and influencing the gang for so long but it really is specifically tied to mac coming out, mac being recognised as gay by the gang and the fear they’ll recognise him too you know he’s been fighting, pushing back, causing tension and arguments and declaring his hatred etc etc. dennis is very very desperate to be back in charge of the direction of the gang and their mentalities etc, hes desperate to keep living in the past!!!!!

and chokes is another favourite example of this miscommunication and contradiction like ALLLLLL dennis wants is to go back to "normal" to before mac came out. mac being able to see through him and know him in a way dennis thought he had blocked was terrifying and caused him to physically leave like the fear of mac being able to see through his facade theres a LOT of things hes keeping hidden he cant let mac know like. but then he came back. and part of wanting everything back to normal is that unspoken connection and communication with mac - hes getting frustrated and angry at mac for not being able to read him and understand him anymore, that they cant just pick up exactly where they left - that they cant pick up from a few years ago and pretend nothings happened nothings changed. like dennis can’t communicate !!!!!! he wants mac to know him he wants everything to go back to how it Was before north dakota but. north dakota didn’t just happen to dennis. it happened to Mac Too. don’t forget that. macs seen dennis push back because he got too close so macs only following blatant orders he doesn’t want to get too close again and for dennis to leave. again. its dennis not being able to face reality to face the actual situation he himself put them in by leaving, emotionally and physically, and then crawling back. ive been saying soooo much hes only just emotionally returned from north dakota i think s13-15 we see him still stuck in fight or flight (as he has been for many seasons before this too) but in the process of crawling back home - emotionally. tail between his legs!

hes holding on tight to this sense of control to his fanatsies and memories and refusing to acknowledge reality which you see him do countless times over and over in different situations but like the end of clip show was SINISTER with the “we’re back to normal” it’s dennis’ fantasy he wants so badly to become reality. he’s the best at monitoring reality and pulling one over on the gang. because that’s all he Ever does. that’s all he’s been doing. they’ve only just caught on or directly challenged him or tried to live in their own fantasies. clip show reinforcing again and again dennis is the most skilled at / aware of having fantasies replace real life memories and experiences. he can change his perception of life to suit him, but is painfully aware its not reality for the first time. highshchool and the golden god one of my fav / the easiest examples of this like just hes always been running away from the truth from reality from some version of himself that he cant look in the mirror. also i legally have to mention roller rink its ooc because its like clip show its their memories theyre telling a story like remember when i was nice and cool yeah i do because it hurts less and they love eachother. clip show dennis takes control of the narrative of the story of the mission to get back into "reality" BUT thought he could pull one over do macden live together. hes a scared little baby running away! SAD! alsoooooooo like how the spinning top doesnt fall and we see the second charlie poke his head like !!!!!! THEYR (DENNIS IS ) STILL STUCK in dennis' fantasy of life aka where theyre all back to normal. i feel like i havent said enough ab holding tight its listerally just clinging into the past onto these idealised versions clinging onto mac and their relationship like not letting him move on you know.

yeah okay again this is def not my best explination of it but thats generally what i was getting to in that paragraph mentioning clip show and chokes :) its all dennis' relationship w the truth and reality and how he's always used it as a crutch trying to be someone else aka running away from himself from the gang from his real actual life. playing pretend as the person he thinks he should be. but then coming home and not being able to communicate ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG because he cant even admit it to himself so they just get stuck in these cycles.

[lemonysnicket]

sage, nutmeg, and taro?

hi sunnyyY!!!

sage -> what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

oh boy oh boy... for me it's always music or paintings! music is always emotionally moving but every once in a while there will be a melody that just. Floors me. but also... certain paintings make my chest hurt with how they make me feel. the fun part of going to museums is seeing beautiful things and enjoying the stay but then... every once in a while you'll see a painting that just Hits. i have a few ive taken photos of over the years, but also literally nothing compares to seeing them in person. it's that feeling i get staring at the canvas that completely overwhelms me i wish i could capture it. i remember in the dreamer trilogy declan is looking at a blank gray painting and says something like "it just makes me want to goddamn cry" and he's so real for that i feel it every day. here are a few! i wish i remembered their titles or artists,,,

this one is the most tender depiction of queer love i've ever seen. the faces, the colors, the brush strokes and the way it fades off into abstraction... there's so much love in this painting i could cry

this one is by the same artist as the first! genuinely i got lost in this painting. i wish photos could capture it but this took up a whole wall and i couldn't stop looking at it. the colors, the detail on the faces and the abstraction everywhere else, the movement... had i not been with someone on this museum trip i could've sat looking at this painting all day.

now, this one... this one left me overcome with a feeling i genuinely cannot find the words to describe. i just can't quite put my finger on it, but it overwhelmed me with something . my chest hurt looking at it. the title of this painting was "painting for my dad" and the title and the black void of the painting were already so touching for me but someone had left a bouquet by it who knows how long ago, and all of that combined just Floored me

i don't really know what it is about this one - it's just bizarre and there are just these flat colors and these vertical trees and spindly lines that make me feel Something. idk. i just remember i couldn't stop staring at it

god i wish my phone camera could capture the beauty of oil paints - you can see how gorgeous this work is but you can't truly experience its beauty because it looked like she was glowing. her eyes had this luscious sparkle to them, and something about the painting had me transfixed. i walked around the rest of the museum with my family and i ended up wandering back to her on my own because i just could not stop looking at her. i fell in love with this painting and the woman in it for those few hours

r. c. gorman's works always make me feel a certain sort of way. the flatness and the abstract planes of the desert and the beautiful colors always create such a specific vibe and atmosphere that leaves me breathless

okay wow i went on a tangent! back to the actual questions lol

nutmeg -> how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

oooh!! ok so my room is quite a mess because i shared it for ages so there is way too much furniture and stuff in there and none of it matches or is cohesive. HOWEVER i do have one little section that is my absolute pride and joy. i have this old antique wooden dresser with this dark wood and this attached scuffed old mirror that's just gorgeous . i love it so much. i covered it with a little lace doily thing and an assorted collection of rocks i've picked up from rivers and beaches. there's a salt lamp on it, too, and a whole bunch of candles. i also have an adjacent section of wall i've decorated with post cards from art museums, so there are little art pieces next to it :3 while the rest of my room is not really that cute and doesn't share this theme, i do have a style that's very antique inspired

taro -> if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

oooooh! i would probably tell them about how i've picked up guitar lately, how i'm learning a few adrianne lenker songs and i've learned the bug collector. i'd probably also talk about how i've gotten back into rp and i've been writing and brainrotting with friends. or my incoming academic stress, lol

[realcatalina]

Meynnart Wewyck’s workshop-part 5: Henry VII holding sword

As always, part 1 was proven works of Meynnart Wewyck, fallowing parts are my suggestion of what might be by his workshop. My suggestions merely.

I was looking very long for portrait which was inspiration for drawing of Henry VII with sword I found earlier. Got it:

Link: https://collections.ashmolean.org/collection/search/per_page/100/offset/0/sort_by/relevance/object/37888

Well, not actually. It is a drawing in collection of Ashmolean Museum-not an original portrait. I don’t think artist captured Henry VII’s face that well, however recognizably from all versions of Henry VII’s portraits it matches well with the one confirmed to be by Meynnart Wewyck:

(Obviouslly the features are overexagerated a bit.) And the way fur is sketched(even in this drawing)it strongly reminds you of others by his workshop. So much so, that you have to wonder-since this is labelled by Ashmolean museum as 16th century, when exactly in 16th century was this made? Could it be sketch by Wewyck’s workshop? Idk tbh. 

But i have good idea when the portrait was made.

I believe it was made to be deliberately shown near portrait of Richard III with broken sword:

I don’t think I have to explain symbolism here.  Hence probably they were done around same time. We know tree for Richard’s portrait was felled in 1515, so this is porobably posthumous painting of Henry VII, done probably between 1515-1525, when Wewyck’s workshop was still active. 

The posture of hand suggest there also might have been  Elizabeth of York’s matching portrait. I flipped one engraving(which are usually mirror of image) to face correct way and it fits nicely:

Prior I assumed the position of hand was alteration(made-up).

There is just one problem with this portrait. I have done 4 post about Wewyck’s work prior and went over many different versions of Henry VII’s portraits. Some of which you have never seen prior! And plenty of them also posthumously done-but based upon earlier contemporary portrait.

But I have never found any would be based same portrait as this one!

It’s clearly based upon missing original-of which no copy exists beside this, as far as I am aware. Which by itself is weird. 

We don’t know the difference between summer, autumn, winter outfits in Henry VII’s lifetime. It is possible this cloak is simply what they wore when it was very cold and in other portraits we see them in less cold-hence the slashes in sleeves.

However there is no hat brooch, this exact shape of hat not matching any portrait. Although pretty good match to the bust(just more flat in portrait):

I believe i saw somewhere the heavy collar which is lining top of his cloth of gold. Probably in Henry VIII’s portraits, but that fishtail necklace? Never seen it before.  

It’s beyond odd to me. It’s very atypical likeness of him. 

I have found just one other portrait-bellow where he(or perhaps one of his sons) has no hat brooch, and probably no slashes. Yet sometimes these things were altered out by mistake, even upon originals.  But it doesn’t seem to be the case with one with sword.

And it makes me wonder about the dating, and long story short anywhere after 1495, up to Henry VII’s death.

Similiar cloaks are on iluminations as early as end of Edward IV’s reign, and are as late as 1510s.

Non-slashed sleeves are  coexisting fashion to cloaks with big slash(or rather opening of sleeves):

However these type of wider sleeves, going to the ground, that’s typical for c.1495-1515, which is beyond range we already had. The fashion doesn’t help in slightest to narrow it down. 

The bust does. I know wiki says the sculptor Pietro Torrigiano arrived to England only in 1509 and made bust according to death-mask of Henry VII, but some historians believe he could be in England early as 1506/1507 and create King from life. Imo had it been from death-mask, the features would look much weirder. I believe likeness of Queen Isabella’s tomb was based upon death-mask, but not Henry’s bust. 

Imo bust could have been from life, towards Henry VII’s reign, and the cloak dates to those years also, hence the outfit is probably from 1500-1510. 

As for the jewelry, the one lining cloth of gold-that’s part of royal collection. Fishtail necklace i have never seen before. And closest to it I recall is the one on picture(on right) which is commonly mislabelled as Perkin Warbeck, but is actually one of Henry VII’s sons. And that one is from c.1502. So the necklaces could be from 1490s.

But the painting is probably posthumous, because it matches Richard’s-and tree used to make that one was felled in 1515, probably used in 1520s or later. So it was probably painting created for Henry VIII, him promoting his dynasty.

I hope you enjoyed it.