#fh codediving

[autistic-sidestep]

while i was writing up the wiki article for the heartbreak incident (yes i've been working like a maniac on the wiki) i figured out why sidestep has the burning hair smell and blood in their mouth when they get super stressed out, they're having functional seizures (and auras)!

i didn't actually understand how sidestep could have seizures while not being epileptic, but then i found out that's still possible. anyways, sometimes people smell burning hair or other phantom smells when they're about to have a seizure, and burning hair in particular is a stress scent for sidestep. you can also bite your tongue during a seizure.

they (almost always) trigger when sidestep's facing something very traumatic eg:

the final hb flashback in rebirth (and malin confirmed they're having a seizure in their sleep for the december 2023 qna)

[i]Around you, the apartment shrinks into focus, the hallway ejecting you into the living room. A small, dead space, smelling of feet and antiseptic.[/i] (And burning hair.)

when they wake up in their body at the gala debut, they have the burning hair smell and the taste of blood in their mouth

"It takes a moment to tap in the right sequence, bringing the armor to life; green numbers scroll across the corner of your vision. You can taste metal on your tongue as you feel the Rat King cozy up against your hindbrain, the telltale stench of burning hair tickling your nose as the nanovores contained inside your glove come alive.

triggers if you fuck up setting off the sword of damocles left in argent's head during the bridge fight if you didn't already trigger it in rebirth

("You can feel their thoughts wrap themselves around yours, tugging at you, and you obey, falling back in their grasp, falling back in your body, gasping in pain as you're greeted by what must have been a seizure.")

release the catastrofiend in chapter 19 at the auction (even as the puppet it will trigger) or chapter 20 (mortum shoots you with the disintregun)

end up seeing chen's version of the heartbreak events while attempting to dethread him when you ask him to help you find the threads with too low friendship.

"What…happened?" Things start coming back, uneasy things, terrible memories. You must have blacked out again. Running on empty, too tired, and Chen's mind was a lot tougher to work with than you imagined. "You started seizing up. I was about to call an ambulance when…" His voice drifts off, and you can see it in his eyes. No ambulance. He wouldn't have. Not this time.

it's also possible that this is a defense mechanism against telepathic intrusion

[Ortega's immunity against telepathy as an epileptic] has something to do with the electrical storms in the brain that cause the seizures; there is enough static in there to make it nearly impossible to read ${his} mind. Or in this case, be influenced from the outside.

dunno how well this works if HB is riding shotgun inside their brain though. these moments are often (but not always) accompanied by sidestep's scar level increasing and/or a gate being opened

notably, rat king is Scared of you

    You must have had a panic attack. You're five blocks away from the casino; you've walked past your pickup point. Is anybody following you? Your head is hurting too badly to scan for it. Instead, you try to jog the Rat King to life, finding…     Nothing?     You stop, a cold shiver down your spine, checking the life support…still green. Still alive. They are still alive. Your worried wave of concern prompts a small, questioning reply.       [i]A tiny squeak. Barely.[/i]     Are you okay? Are you? The answer is no, the Rat King is…terrified. Of you? No. Not anymore. That doesn't make sense.

so it might've been the imposter (or heartbreak?) briefly taking the wheel.

also, food for thought, from yoinking carter's memories.

    It's hard to keep mental shields up under torture. You should know.     You do know.     Your helmet disguises the twitch on your face as you kneel down and take hold of Carter's face. Physical contact is not needed, but it makes it easier to focus.     Pain makes it easy to slip inside because that's the brain's priority alarm. Unlike panic, which can shut things down, or fear, which can lock things into loops, pain opens everything up. All the gates. All the hidden rooms. Enough pain, and it's impossible to focus on anything but, leaving defenses crumbling and hidden secrets crawling out.

[autistic-sidestep]

i did some maths/research about the game's height benchmarks based off the descriptions in the books for relative heights, the startup.txt comments and canon heights given in the qnas and patreon lore posts (copied over from what i wrote on sidestep's wiki page)

Short: "about Argent's size, shorter than everyone else."[21] Argent is is 5ft 3in[nb 77] and described as "almost the same" and "about the same height" to short Sidesteps in Chapter 14.[1]

Average: "shorter than ortega and chen, about the same as herald, mortum a fraction shorter, argent shorter."[21] Herald's height is 5'9,[nb 78] and Mortum's is 5'7.[nb 79]

Tall: "taller than everyone,"[21] which includes Ortega (6ft)[nb 80] and Chen (6ft1in)[nb 81] Ortega is shorter than tall Sidesteps, though "not by much."[5]

When standing close together, short Sidesteps will be at Ortega's chest, and have Ortega almost rest their chin on Sidestep's head.[16] This is compared to average height Sidesteps which can comfortably rest their head on Ortega's shoulder.[5]The same is true with Chen.[14] When they kiss, short Sidesteps must stand on tiptoe, whereas average Sidesteps only need Ortega to lean down.[19][1]

Edit: @apocynthion reminded me the line that av sidesteps used to be taller than Chen pre HB when he was 5'9 (ch15) so

based off this my best guesses for the benchmarks: 5'4-5'5 for short, 5'10ish for average and 6'2ish for tall (to be taller than both ortega and chen, sidestep would have to be 6'2, since chen's 6'1 with his modded legs).

also, favourite recent additions to Ortega's page's trivia (mostly from the books):

Sidestep can be shorter or taller than Ortega, but not the same height (6ft).[19][nb 80]

They cooked often enough for Sidestep that they still know Sidestep's favorite meals.[16]

Ortega's accent has a hint of a Texan twang which comes up when talking to people from the area, or talking to their mother. They occasionally play this up to annoy the Rangers PR team.[nb 91]

In the demo version of the Chapter 21 bed scene, Ortega originally had uncanny aim with their finger and found Sidestep's lips even with the lights out. When this made playtesters paranoid that Ortega had darkvision and could see Sidestep's Re-Gene tattoos, Rydén changed this to have Ortega nearly poke Sidestep's eye out instead.

While Ortega is generally very patient with the press, they make exceptions for Sidestep, and have exploded at least three cameras to protect them.[7]

After their accident, they punched their shrink from bed by speaking low enough for him to lean in, though Ortega admits they "hurt [them]self more than [they] did him."[10]

Sweet vice Sidesteps used to eat pancakes together with Ortega.[23] Ortega also let sweet vice Sidesteps steal their snacks.[10]

Ortega never let smoking vice Sidesteps smoke indoors and made them smoke on the balcony when they visited the apartment.[16]

Ortega never smokes unless they're drunk.[16]

Sidestep has been hit by Charge's lightning before.[nb 57] Past flirting Sidesteps have also been accidentally zapped by Ortega when they got handsy.[16]

[autistic-sidestep]

sidestep scar map

here's all the physical scar mentions of step's ive discovered so far that aren't choice dependent! (choice dep scars will be in another post). lemme know if i missed any!

edit: hi people from r/hostedgames o/

edit 2 (nov 8th): added some more i missed!

edit 3 (nov 30th 2024): put these all (excepting the photographs related one because i'm not sure that's ever confirmed in the text itself) on the wiki!

(cw for sh/sui mentions and graphic injury description)

general

"Have you seen me?" You don't bother to hide your sneer. Even with your clothes on, there are enough scars and marks that many people would pay dearly to remove them. (ch 22, argent meetup) Regenerate…the notion is a tempting one; could it work on your tattoos? You've tried cutting and burning, but there's just too much, you'd be scarred and mutilated before you were done, but this…this prototype, could it help you too? (ch 19, etc, regenerator discovery) "What?" A moment's confusion and then—finally—he adds up the dots. His frown deepens, and he looks between your face and your chest, marred by scars and brightly orange tattoos, marking you as other. As not human. "Are you saying that—" (ch 22, flystep apartment scene) "Do you like scars?" you tease, taking one of [Daniel']s hands, tracing it across one on your chest. An ugly one, a remnant from an angry attempt to carve away your tattoos until the drugs couldn't keep the pain at bay any longer. (ch 22, flystep apartment date) It's a slow, circling motion over the small of your back, palm against skin, warm fingers tracing the deep scars you both know are there. And a few that ${he} doesn't. (ch 17, hoots makeout) ${his} hands are running over your skin, over your back. You know ${he}'s tracing scars, the same as you, and having an easier time of it. No fancy hospitals for your body, just your own skills, and no need to make it look pretty. (ch 21, chargestep apartment nsfw)

autopsy (incision) scar(s?)

"I obtained…pictures." He lets out a sigh, rubbing his face. "Classified. Highly classified. I assumed they were from the autopsy." He focuses on you. "Your autopsy." […] "The damage from the fall was horrific…you looked dead. Opened up." (ch 22, steel bar meetup)

legs

You remember that [Psychopathor] fell against the wreckage, and it moved and caused you to scream out loud as it dug into your leg. There's still a scar there somewhere. (ch 2, warehouse fight)

face

"Yeah, things changed. For me." You touch your face without intending to. The thin scars there are the most obvious legacy of your fall, of the window tearing into you like memories. (ch 21, hoots) "I'm not the only one with scars." He rubs the side of his face as he looks at you, and you have to fight not to do the same. You can feel your own face itch with the need to pick at your scars. "Yeah," you admit with a tired sigh. "Looking into the mirror is not fun." For more reasons than one, but you'd be lying if the scars weren't one of them. Bad memories imprinted on your flesh, a reminder of nightmares you can't ever forget. It's interesting, really, the way they see you as another vet. Are you looking out of place enough for that? A helping of scars. The nervous awareness. (ch 22, steel bar meetup)

hands/wrists

"Does it say that the scar on your hand always itches when you're stressed?" (ch 22, flystep apartment date)

"I'm not sure about this," he says, looking down at your scarred hands as if he could read your mind. Soft. Human. He doesn't want to hurt them. (ch 25, post puppet crash step leg rights, chen apartment minddive)

You let Ortega take your hands in [theirs]. Warm. Calloused. Scarred. Just like yours. You can't help but trace the edge of ${his} mods where they break the skin, strangely cool to the touch. (ch 21, trans mc ortega apartment reveal)

You look down at hands so much cleaner than your own. $!{puppet_name} hides all scars. (ch 18, puportega stakeout)

"It feels like they do," you say, scratching one of the scars on your hand a little nervously. "I wish I could tell you, but I can't." […] Your hands are clenched. Hard enough that your knuckles are white. There are a few scars across them, memories of punching things you shouldn't punch. People. Armor. Walls. […] You press two fingers against your wrist, feeling your pulse, feeling the scars. It's a familiar sensation, but instead of the weight pressing against your shields, you feel like a balloon, ready to burst. (ch 17 - finch therapy scene)

arms

tattoo removal attempts

You tried to get rid of them after your first escape. A specialist, suitably coerced. You still have the scar on the inside of your arm where the lasers didn't quite take. Too deep. Something she had never seen before, and she wasn't lying. Almost as if they were regenerating. (ch 15/ch 17, reader regenereveal tag )

You've tried lasers to remove them. You've tried dermabrasion. You even flayed off a piece of your own skin, and while that worked, it left another scar, a deep one. You know it's not possible to do that for your entire body. It's too much surface area; the process would kill you or leave you maimed. Not exactly the life you want. _(ch 15/ch 17, reader regenereveal tag / ch 19, puppet auction)

You tug at your sleeve; it keeps clinging to your sweaty skin. The small hairs on the back of your arm stand on end. The scars are visible now, the ones you made yourself. The ones where you tried to remove them. (chapter 19, argent regene reveal)

"I'm not lying anymore." You very slowly tug your sleeve up, rolling it past the scars, past the places where you tried to obliterate the tattoos, up to where they peek out beneath the fabric. Sharp. Orange. Inhuman. Like you. You look away, regulating your breathing, keeping a straight face as ${mhis} fingertips trace the edges of the design. There's a slight "tsk" at the burn scars that cut them off, no doubt ${mhe} is adding the clues together. […] "I tried to burn parts of them off," you say, […] so ${mhe} doesn't need to ask. "Didn't work too well. Needs third-degree burns, or they'll grow back." "Really?" $!{mhe} bends your arm, and you shift to allow it. "Fascinating." "Flaying works if you cut down to the flesh." Your voice sounds dispassionate even to your own ears, and Dr. Mortum takes a step back with a shocked look on ${mhis} face. "I'd hate to know how you found that out." "Other arm." You tug your sleeve down now that ${mhe}'s stopped touching you. (ch 20, "good" mortum mc reveal at the lab)

Holding your breath, you raise your arm in front of you, watching the pale green hospital robe slip back, revealing the intricate tattoos etched into your skin, broken only by scars. Neon orange. (ch 24, mccrash, revoked legrights)

dog bite

Some [dogs] were kept to guard the perimeter; you got bit once for straying outside. You still have the scar on your arm, a reminder that things that are hurt inevitably turn on each other. (ch 15, 1st boneyard scene)

general arm scars

It's so easy to feel human around ${him}. So easy to ignore the fear. Your sleeves are rolled up to your elbows. Anything more would risk revelations you aren't ready for, but even like this, the scars are enough for conversation. […] *if suitag: The bubbles hide most; you keep them buried deep in the soapy water to make sure ${he} doesn't look. (ch 21, ortega apartment dishes)

sh scars (suitag dep)

The scars on your arms are hidden under your sleeves, and maybe they would be something you could talk about. Something she would expect. A safe revelation of self-harm. *if suitag: Across. Not lengthwise. Your one deal with yourself. Not yet. You have things to finish first." (ch 17, finch therapy scene)

[autistic-sidestep]

back on the codediving highlights

rosie asks argent for an autograph

    "Sure do," the driver says, cautiously lowering her hands. "Not sure how this works, but ${villain_name} wants you to have it. The keys are in the van."     "Nothing shady?" Argent walks closer and with purpose, and the driver clenches her hand, but not in an aggressive way. Cautious, not angry.     "Nah, I don't do shady. If the boss wants this to happen, I'll make sure it's delivered." Her smile is crooked, almost amused. "Are we on the same side now? Can I get an autograph?"     "No and no. This is a one-time deal." Argent pushes past, eyes narrowing as she scans the van. It feels tired, friendly, not tampered with.     "If you say so. Boss got ways of hooking you, though. Maybe we'll see each other again." She sketches a salute and then walks away from the scene quicker than needed.

nehal punching zaza in the stomach

"Scared?" ZaZa ruffles her hair. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." You slip out the back to the sound of Nehal punching ZaZa in the gut.

argent 100% killed oryx

Letting ${villain_name} out means that she is making a choice. A more final choice than dressing up as Oryx. A more final choice than even removing Oryx in the first place.

flying vans

(normal) "True. And though I could float this thing," he pats the inside of the van, "I suspect a flying van might be a bit suspicious." "Just a bit." You try to keep the smile from showing. "Though it'd be a smoother ride than Ortega's driving." // (heraldweaken) "If you want, I can try to float you again." "Better not at this speed. Last time you nearly lifted the van." You had heard the swearing from the cab, hydroplaning, without the water. Luckily it had ended well, but it had also reminded you both that control is a thing he needs to work on. "True." A nervous laugh. "I could probably lift the entire van if I wanted to, but I don't know where we're going."   "And the trick is avoiding attention, which I think a flying van is the opposite of." How much could he lift, though? A van with two people without issue; at least he's confident he could make an attempt. Is there an upper limit?

the museum exhibits have a guidebook!

It's funny that the biggest lie is nowhere to be seen. Even though you make a point of looking in the guidebook, no mention is made of the Special Directive. There are sections for Boosts and the history of the Hero drug, and there are nice diagrams of the various mods that people have been subjected to. Everything is there…except for the things that might upset someone.

poor mortum nearly dying trying to keep up with the running puppet

  You have to pull Dr. Mortum along; you can hear ${mhim} fighting for breath while you are hardly winded. [...]   "Hurry," you hiss, dragging Mortum along, forcing ${mhim} upstairs at a place that has ${mhim} gasping.   "J'ai…besoin…d'air…." You ignore the gasps and keep up the pace, pushing ${mhim} to the limits of ${mhis} capabilities before you stumble through the top door, out into the upstairs hallway, almost at the exit.   "Yes! Made it." You breathe a sigh of relief as you slow down, supporting the good doctor as ${mhe} almost stumbles. There's chaos up here, but nothing compared to downstairs, so you can take your time and walk out through the door.   Outside, the crowds have been gathering, and you can hear distant sirens, but there's no sign of fire that you can see. Dr. Mortum is leaning against you, the case pressed against ${mhis} chest.   $!{mhe}'s finally getting ${mhis} breath back.

mortum is a hoarder (unsurprisingly)

"I think I still have some things," Mortum says, "you know where my storage room is." "I do," she agrees. "I might steal some other things too. I don't like the look of that head wound. Hopefully, it's just a concussion. We'll see once the sedation wears off. You're still well stocked on that, I hope?" "You know me, I don't throw anything away," a sheepish laugh.

mortum rummaging for the puppet's usual mug after they come to the lab asking for help in the puppetstuck betrayed path

"Would you believe me if I told you that I'm too distraught to tinker?" An attempt at a joke. You attempt a smile in return. "Guess you never thought we'd be in this situation again." You follow ${mhim} to the small kitchen. Familiar. More than you'd like. "Why did you answer the phone?" "I don't know," and you don't need your telepathy to see that it's a lie. $!{mhe} starts preparing coffee, back to you. Trust or a good security system? "Why did you call me?" [...] "We were friends." $!{mhe} opens the cupboard, rummaging around. Maybe an excuse not to look at you. "I don't do friends. Not since…"   "Vitruvian?" you guess.   "Yes." $!{mhis} shoulders sag as ${mhe} pours the coffee. "At least you did not steal any of my research." [...] "We're not." Dr. Mortum puts down the cup of coffee in front of you. Your cup. The one you usually used in ${mhis} lab. Was that what ${mhe} was looking for before? "I wouldn't have answered the phone if we were." "So what are we then?" You're afraid to ask, but with the rest of the world crashing down around you, you might as well learn the truth. "I don't know yet." There is a pause as ${mhe} sits down across from you, slender fingers cradling the cup. "But I would like to find out." *set puppetmortum_relationship "revealed"

[autistic-sidestep]

couple further additions!

bulky/solidly built bodytype (height is variable between rebirth and retri back before malin established them and gave sidestep height options), stands just a bit less taller than a tall sidestep(?)

short-cropped hair

lots of scars on his face including on his lips, and lots of scar tissue on his body.

got shot by an expanding bullet in the shoulder joint, shoulder blade was replaced

tends to dress plainly with (cargo) shorts and worn military t-shirts in his downtime (shirts tend to be tight fitting and thin from frequent use), which exposes mods/prosthesis, owns a hoodie and a rangers jacket (likely ranger's blue?). struggles with fiddly buttons, unlikely to wear clothing that requires dexterity to put on and take off

not strictly appearance related but he was born in 1979, making him in his early 40s by the time book 1 and 2 happen (2020 and 2021)

frowns/grimaces a lot in the text, may have lines on his face from doing so

prostheses:

work legs are blackish grey/utilitarian, has civilian legs made for running when walking spoon

work hand is the same colour as the arm (blue-black/dark-grey - theres some variation here) with blue accents, right hand joint port has scar tissue around it.

left work hand has exposed joints and is scuffed from spoon's teeth marks since there's no pain sensors in it, no cosmetic overlays

(screenshots where i got them from under the cut)

does anyone happen to have any more notes on chens appearance besides the ones that i have that i could send to my partner to help them draw him

[autistic-sidestep]

    *if ortega_pastflirting       You wish you could drink away your past memories, but that's a lost cause. You're not sure what it will take to chase Ortega from your mind, but you feel like you have tried everything. Maybe you should see if they have a time machine for sale here so you can go back in time and kick younger Sidestep's ass and tell ${chim} not to get involved. Don't kiss back.       *if ortega_flirting_new         As if that would happen. You still can't follow your own advice.

sidestep is so fucking funny

[autistic-sidestep]

The blue-skinned Re-Gene confronting him is dressed in nothing but a reinforced nanomesh skinsuit, the tattoos covering his face and hands dividing his flesh into stark patterns of orange and white. Around him, the flickering green flames are hot enough to melt steel. But the armored monster only laughs, a sound that sends a familiar shiver down your spine.

the green fire re-gene at the warehouse fight has orange AND white tattoos :O

[autistic-sidestep]

mortum lab wiki page complete (probably, for now anyways) take a look at how much security the doctor uses lol the good doctor is paranoid as Fuck

[autistic-sidestep]

re: what I sent @villainsidestep that it was going nuts over

(Possibly) scrapped alternative to the steelsnap/shaken tag scene where he follows after you (or after hbvision revelations) from the public discord I rediscovered in my sticky notes looking for something else <3 edit: this was first put in the public server on 21/3/2019, i got the dates wrong.

21-03-2019 Malin: I just want everyone to know this is notes. Not even a scene

You swing without thinking, a reflex born in frustration and panic. It doesn't connect to Chen's face, he intercepts it halfway, his cybernetic arm moving with inhuman speed. His hand is like a vice around your wrist, if he wanted to he could have crushed your bones. Instead he holds you gently, like a trapped animal.

"You need to stop doing that."

"Let me go."

"I'm serious. I've let someone punch me exactly once, and that was deserved."

"Maybe you deserved this one."

"Then tell me. What did I do?"

"You stopped looking. You heard me and you stopped looking and now nothing is the way it's supposed to be."

"I'm sorry. [lets go.] I wasn't... right at the time. I didn't know what I heard. I didn' -- put things together. Not until later."

"You could have saved me. You're the only one that could have. (Ortega [illegible])"

"I wish I had. Is it still too late?"

"Of course it is. 7 years too late. I waited for you to come, you know that? You. (sentinel if trans). Anyone. I thought you... Maybe you..."

edit: and the original photo that was posted in the server

[autistic-sidestep]

#Because I've started to feel something for him?

You have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling something more for Chen than just friendship. Something you're unsure about and trying to ignore. If there are scales from stupid to stupid, you're somewhere on it for even considering it.

[autistic-sidestep]

fun fact: los diablos is not a democracy! people don't get to vote! (from a stray line in the therapy scene w/ finch)

[autistic-sidestep]

steel's shirts are holding on for dear fucking life

[autistic-sidestep]

help the recent (small) patch changed the failsafe from Ortega to Charge so you can do this now lmaoooo

[autistic-sidestep]

lying down thinking very hard abt sidestep trying ortega's cooking for the first time, canonically them liking anything ortega makes, that ortega learnt from tia elena that feeding people is the best way to befriend people and that SO many of their fond memories are food-related. (bumped into overdrive with a sugar vice step!) the necessity of needing to eat a lot to maintain their telepathy helps, ofc!

#Sugar—my brain needs the energy.     One drawback of your telepathic powers is that you need a lot of carbohydrates, and sugar is the easiest way to get them. […] the syrupy drinks you were used to back when [you were at the Farm]…

even chen's memory of a happy sidestep involves food

[non(knowssteelsuspects) tacticianstep] [i]So excited about a milkshake. Laughing with Anathema. The almost childish glee with which ${che} delighted in normalcy. In junk food and music. In movies.[/i]

which is why he stocks the fridge for an ally/friendly step

*label steelfridge (steelshelf true) "Raiding the fridge again?" Steel's voice is too soft for being inside the HQ. […] "Yeah, I'm a regular criminal," you joke, not looking back. Your eyes catch that damn shelf again, with your name clearly on it. There are some beers at the back, as well as assorted snacks. All things you've stolen in the past.

this can even be triggered by marcia from the business base

*label businessstart Sometimes, you pretend that this is what ordinary life must be like. Having a job. A daily routine. Surrounded by normal people, thinking unimportant thoughts. It's a nice enough fantasy, easy to indulge in when you sit sharing a meal with Marcia. She's brought a chili today, not as spicy as you're used to, but for a moment, you're having a flashback to another table, to another shared meal. Familiar laughter. A sense of belonging. You shut your eyes hard, and when you open them, it's Marcia's face you see and not Tía Ortega's. "Was it too hot?" Marcia looks concerned, and you realize your eyes have been tearing up. "I'm fine," you lie, hiding your face as you bite down on a piece of bread. "Thanks for sharing." "A meal is meant to be shared," she says, triggering more memories you don't want.

leading onto comforting spaces and memories with elena and ortega, it's definitely true ortega's strongly associated with food - all their meetups tend to revolve around meals

As do snacks. Is that part of what ${he} learned from ${his} mother? Feed people to make them comfortable, and you suppose the alcohol is mostly for ${him}self. (vice = "sugar") $!{he} always lets you steal ${his} snacks.

"Ooh, they have pancakes." "Pancakes." You shake your head. (*if vice = "sugar") Old memories. You used to eat those together.

What else did you have that wouldn't bring back traumatic memories? Clubs without Anathema, karaoke without Sunstream coming to life on the stage? Dinners with Tía Elena?

(retri epilogue, ortega pov)

Food. When in doubt, always go for food. $!{he} learned that trick at a young age, and it has never steered ${him} wrong.

memorial park meetup

[non alcoholic vice step] "You don't have to talk," ${he} assures you. "But what do you say we get a cup of coffee and a bite to eat?" "Coffee…" You almost laugh, because that's how people work, isn't it? When something uncomfortable happens, make sure to eat or drink something. It will make things better.

hoots

Of course ${he}'d pick a spot like this, [if see_shrink] where ${he} knows you would feel safe, especially after what you just went through. [else] the site of many of your escapades. Familiar. Safe.

"You know what Mamá would have said…." $!{he} wags ${his} finger in the air with a serious look on ${his} face. "If it tastes bad, it's good for you." Your voice is a fair approximation of Tía Elena's; you've heard that sentence often enough. For some reason, she had always been very concerned for your health. Intent on not letting you go hungry.

and ofc, the apartment scene

  "I'd like that," you admit. It sounds good; a little privacy is what you need right now. "Been a while since I ate something homemade."     "I think I still remember your favorites," ${he} says with a chuckle. "Wow. It's been ages since we did this."     "Yeah," you look away to hide your smile. "I miss it."     "So do I." For a moment, you think ${he}'s going to say something else, but ${he} doesn't.     "I like your food," you finally admit, a little lower than needed, because you're not sure how ${he} will react.

*if ((wound = "a severely bitten lower lip") or (wound = "a severely bitten lower lip, and a sore shoulder"))   "Are you sure you're going to be okay eating with that lip?" $!{he} touches ${his} own in sympathy.   "I'm not going to starve," you say with a careful smile. "Just don't make it too spicy."   "But I like spice…," ${he} complains.   "Sucks to be you then."   [*if ortega_friendship >= 75] Your smile softens somewhat. "You can always add it last, just to your portion."

"Any requests?" $!{his} voice is light and airy, clearly attempting to strike a lighter mood. "I like everything you make," you say, with a nonchalant shrug. [...]

It feels surprisingly normal sitting in Ortega's kitchen, one leg pulled up on your chair, watching ${him} cook. You helped cut the vegetables, but once the preparations were done, the stove was all [hers/his]. A familiar routine. It used to be what you did back in the day, maybe not every week, but when you had the time. The smell brings back fond memories [...]

"It's been a long time since we did this." Ortega again, breaking the silence that had been building, putting food on your plates. "Yeah," you admit, wishing it didn't smell so good, wishing the smell didn't take you back. […] "Do you like it?" "You're a good cook but such a sucker for compliments," you say, shoving in another mouthful. "I like it." […] You don't know what to feel as you watch ${him} eat, sharing ${his} table, sharing ${his} food. Sharing ${his} home. $!{his} friendship. $!{his} heart.

epilogue (recovering in chen's apartment + dating ortega)

 "Your kitchen really sucks." Not exactly the smartest thing to say, but ${he}'s never been that good with words when ${he}'s stressed. "You know that, right?"   "I know," Wei sighs, with the long-suffering look he has perfected over the years. "And you know it too. You say it every time you cook here."   "$!{he} cooks here?" [...]   "Occasionally." Wei sits down at last, giving Spoon a scratch before the dog pads back to ${name}'s side. "When ${he} feels I've been eating too badly."   "I know your stomach doesn't always agree with food, but occasionally you just need some homemade caldillo." ${ortega_name} turns back to the stove, glad for the opportunity to busy ${his} hands. The closest thing ${he} can get to meditation, that, and the bike. [...] And everything starts with a delicious dinner. Even if ${he} has to be careful with the chili.   $!{he}'s made worse sacrifices.

of course ortega learned it all from tia.

 "Not Ortega?" Steel sounds surprised, which is annoying. Are you that predictable?     "You know Tía Ortega. Dishes get done in that household." You can't help but smile at the memory. Another life. Another world. Did you use to be happy once?

[...]

Once upon a time, [if ortega_former ally] you were a frequent guest at [Elena's] house // [else] you were close. Back when she lived in the city. Invited into her home, at her dinner table. Hugs. Friendly laughter.

[...]

But it would also mean meeting her again. Stepping back into the past, being soft, loved, cared for, and you…you're not the same. Ortega hasn't told her about you for a reason.

i just.... augHHH. food as love.

[autistic-sidestep]

oh. oh oh im. reading through the puppetstuck chen hospital encounter and. oh my godddd.

*if ((puppet_proof >= 40) and (scrubs)) "Actually, Dr."—a quick look at your badge—"Evans. If you have a moment, I'd like to have a word about one of your patients. I'm Marshal Steel of the Rangers." His eyes shift quickly to the operating theater and back. Now that's interesting, and it would mean getting him away from here.

versus.

*elseif ((not(scrubs)) and ((puppet_proof >= 60) or ((puppet_proof >= 40) and (puppetortega_friendship >= 65)))) "Actually, if you have a moment, I'd like to have a word. I'm Marshal Steel of the Rangers." His eyes don't move from yours. $!{swear}, is he suspecting you? If so, you need to get him away from here fast.

he needs less puppet_proof/suspicion of a puppet w/ scrubs than in plainclothes b/c hes worried about them being taken by the farm again! and doesn't want that to happen on his watch if he's close to them! he let them down once already!

"His eyes shift quickly to the operating theater and back" ONLY occurs with scrubs and >=40 puppet proof! i'm going to scream

[autistic-sidestep]

Pork, chicken, and fish are the protein replacements, though you gather there are a lot of vegetables in those patties as well. Imitation beef. You know that feeling.

SIDESTEP ITS A FUCKIGN BURGER