#i loathe it with all of my being
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#words cannot express how little i care for post 1945 history#it is a literal CRIME to make me take these exams#a literal CRIME I SAY#like i literally could not care less#i haven't had this little interest in an exam i had to take since high school aka the last time i had to know chemistry and physics#the second part of the twentieth century is a literal nightmare#there is so much that has happened and it's all so well-recorded that there's literally no SPACE for things like culture#it's just politics-war-economics-politics-war#i loathe it with all of my being#ella originals
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Just who are you, Councilor Medarda?
#i did not like her s2 arc so i am copium and living in s1 painter mel#mel medarda#arcane#my art#i have a LOT of thoughts on her and i wish she remained like. a normal person and not...whatever the magical stuff happened#it didnt develop smoothly enough for me to feel invested and left me just kind of. confused.#& i think that forgetting about Mels painting is leaving a huge interesting level to her character because art as a whole#can be used as a metaphor for the image for others to perceive vs how we perceive it ourselves...so for mel it would be herself#with the others perception being all of piltover. her mother. jayce. vik. lest. they all see her differently and mel herself i think#presents a different woman than what she is inside in favour of being 'diplomatic' and 'moving forward'#anyway thats just me rambling i jsut think there was a lot of melon left to thump in terms of her character#i loathe her trading in her signature colours for her mothers in the end
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while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best
#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#sklonda gukgak#dimension 20#this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really.#I am very normal about riz (<- lying)#it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth)#riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the#majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job#and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous#like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time#not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day#and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize#you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working#this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me#the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society#holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense#anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir
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korvo lost and farting 0 stars for you my boy
#solar opposites#solaropposites#korvo#tervo#did any of you guys read the interview where they said#they're never going to break up but he's constantly worried that Terry's going to leave him#Yeah.#korvo being so full of self loathing and feeling undeserving of happiness to the point where once he realizes the button was pressed#he was like Ah this makes sense. Surely this life is fabricated and terry doesn’t actually love me nor do i even deserve him#all my suspicions are true!#YEAH. HOLY SHIT.#and terry reaffirming his love for him oughh guys he loves him because he’s lame and stupid CALLBACK TO LOVING THE UGLY PARTS!! HELLO!!#korvo being so desperate in that episode to hold onto his family and his marriage NOT NOW KITTEN DADDY NEEDS A FUCKING CIGARETTE#and terry and korvo still falling in love in the alternate universe They would find each other in every universe bitch#korvo grabbing the what if box and burning his hands like holy hell
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Hi,
JIN LING IS NOT HOW AN ABUSED CHILD BEHAVES. He sasses at JC and he KNOWS he's all bark no bite. The instances of JC hitting JL in canon are EXCEPTIONAL. If JC hit JL regularly, he would NOT have said "Not even my uncle hits me!" at WWX. That shit STICKS. You are all stupid
#jc#jiang cheng#jiang cheng positive#jin ling#jl#inspired by a jc anti that crossed my “for you” tab#also personal rant ahead:#my dad hit me TWICE and i only remember one of the times#admittedly i didn't see him regularly#but TWICE. and i only remember one of those instances#my stepdad didn't hit often but he yelled#and guess what?#the instances my dad hit me are insignificant to me#i remember being upset in the moment but barring that. zero. nada. and i love him#the yelling stuck to me like a leech#so yeah. abused kids don't sass at their abuser like that#abused kids don't use “not even my caregiver hits me!” as a gotcha#jl is not the healthiest#but considering all the baggage jgy and jc have#THEY DID A GREAT JOB#AND THEY DID BREAK THE CYCLE#jl bratting off to jc who never knew how to talk to jfm#jl being spoiled by jgy who was loathed by jgs#THEY WERE GOOD PARENTAL FIGURES#jin guangyao
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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YES, the Lady bred her bloodline with the intention that they would die as sacrificial lambs and be a meatsuit for her undead Criston Cole Champion.
I said those things on twt a year ago
But instead a bunch of freaks (all katherine haters) called me a "miS0gYniSt🤪" for simply stating a fact
You know what's misogynistic? Hating on Katherine because she's a soft femme girl.
I dislike the Lady because of her hypocrisy. In fact, the Lady were a man I'd hate her a billion times more, and if Sarcean were a woman (Femcean supremacy!!! I hc him as genderqueer tbh) I'd stan him a zillion times more.
#proof that I will still passionately loathe the Lady if she were male is how I was vocally anti-Dumbledore when i was a HP fan#i LOATHE all kinds of Light Side figureheads they're ALL HYPOCRITES#being a cis gay man doesnt make em any more bearable#Rhaenyra is a fem Sarcean tho they whitewash her in the show!! Boo give me my unapologetic tragic war criminal queen#like i said: do check my socials about any bad things against Katherine cause i never said any😘😘#sarcean#will kempen#dark heir#dark rise#dark heir spoilers#visander#the lady#white death#katherine kent#not Me stanning TONS of female characters#only to be called misogynistic for refusing to stan this#cosplayer con artist hypocrite who walks&talks like my abuser
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actually obsessed with afo and kudou's dynamic . that panel rlly said kudou symbolically reincarnated just to find afo and kill him this time around llmafoeodkwf just full on hating btwn these two that the universe makes them find eachother again
oh , while we're at it heres some shitposts i did ab them too (theyre so funny istg)
#if yoichi and kudou were love at first sight then afo and kudou are hate at first sight#and i think thats beautiful#just two people who fucking hate eachother nothing more nothing less#the shigaraki twins being interwined w kudou skdkelf#one runs on pure love and devotion#the other is full of loathing and anger#kudou gets both experiences#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha all for one#mha afo#all for one#mha kudou#second one for all user#2nd ofa user#2nd one for all user#second ofa user#shitpost#dahlia.txt#oh man i wished i made a joke comic where kudou pulls the 'well im fucking your brother soo' as a comeback to afo everytime he insults him
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Least favorite ok ko character??
At first I was gonna say none BUT I actually do have two least favorite characters and it's these two assholes
Not only I dislike their designs I also HATE their personalities even more. I don't like being so negative but they have literally ZERO redeeming quality. They're just annoying judgy asshats. Plus they were absolutely awful friends to Rad for years!!! They made him become super insecure bc they kept insulting and belitting everything he liked, they're the reason why he started acting like a narcissistic jerk with Enid and then KO
In conclusion they're lame, stupid, and crappy people and I can't stand seeing them on screen
#am i projecting onto rad MAYBE#thank you for asking this anon bc i needed to unload all my hate and loathing#ugly asses i wont even bother learning their names#i swear i cannot stand them anytime they appear i just wanna skip all their scenes#BOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO#like at least when other characters are being jerks they're also fun or interesting#but not these two they're just two insufferable frat boys#which is worse than being a criminal#at least boxman's crimes are funny as fuck ://#sorry these two piss me off so much#asks & answers#ok ko let's be heroes#ok k.o.! let's be heroes
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happy to have an offgun sunday show back on the docket but i can already tell this series is going to put a bee in my bonnet every week about late stage capitalism foisting its cancer upon all workplace cultures and turning things like internships from learning and exploratory opportunities to build skills and discover interests in a field, to an expectation of free/low paid but inexplicably pre-skilled labour. do you think ye olde blacksmith's apprentice showed up to the first day of the apprenticeship and the blacksmith is like "what do you mean you don't know how to shoe a horse?? that's so basic" no. the expectation of apprenticeship is that a newborn emptyheaded youngin with a vague notion that metal is cool shows up, and is taught how to blacksmith. the expectation is not that the young savant of metalwork turns up with a list of horses already shoed, including One Very Special One in the Royal Stable, and god would you please please please allow me to debase myself for you, o blacksmith? my resumé is just like the journeyman's!! this workplace culture is a modern invention!! they used to teach you things at work!!
[breathing audibly] i just think entry level should mean entry level, and that as much effort goes into gathering experience that makes people competitively hire-able, ability, opportunity, and luck also play a role. it is lucky to know your passion early enough to be able to groom yourself to competitiveness in a sharky field of work, but a person should be able to turn up for entry level positions/interning with an unabashed "i know nothing" as long as it's followed with an "and i'm ready to learn" and it is in neoliberalism's favour to allow work environments to cut their costs by eschewing the responsibility to teach. to train the trainee.
#the trainee#the trainee the series#...so this makes it seem like i didn't like the ep when i super did#i just hate hustle and grind and neoliberalism and i want to hold ryan in my palm like an eggcup#i can hear myself taking it too seriously lmaoooo uh oh gmmtv you hit my hot button. i'm not criticising the writing though!!#they're faithfully rendering an environment i would love to love but am forced to loathe lmaoo#i just want a world where you show up on your first day and your equivalent p'jane says#'hey so the way it works here is i give you a brief in the morning so it'd be good to have a notepad and pen ready.'#'also the hard deadline for this is 6pm which means you need to be done filming 2/3 so it can go for editing by 5pm.'#okay i'm going to stow this now bc i have 0% faith that gmmtv will make any meaningful sustained criticism of capital culture#being as they barely follow through on their richboy/poorboy tensions ever other than for antagonistic chemistry fodder#BUT. despite what all that^ sounds like i enjoyed the ep lmaoooo. looking forward to it genuinely i swear#liomsa
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emo Nico x scene Will Solace...
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#i need them to be cringe (affectionate) teenagers okay#give me Will with a hardcore homestuck phase and streaks in his hair dyed with kool-aid and striped armsocks#date night is Will teaching Nico how to make kandi bracelets#if youve been here awhile you may know i am a scene Jason believer and the same concepts apply here#listen i just think. emphasizing Nico being emo and giving him a scene boyfriend#its very important though that only certain riordanverse chars fit the vibe to be scene kids#like i dont think Percy would be as much as i want him to be#its antithetical to his character (internalized ableism/bad self-loathing/keeps his head down)#Will and Jason on the other hand would use XD unironically and have a total ball making sparkledog fursonas#Alex Fierro. DEFINITE scene kid. Magnus is already just kind of a little emo. Sadie is a definite yes. Carter. maybe.#i think he'd be adverse at first but kinda get into it casually yknow. he'd dig kandi bracelets at least.#probably get really into linguistic breakdown of xD rAnDoM speech just for fun#Walt no but he could. like. i think he'd be open to trying it. but its not his default state.#Zia. doesnt have the energy but i kinda wanna see it regardless. i think itd be fun for her but on her own she'd lean more goth#Leo? maybe. depends. he's more into doing stuff ironically. Piper. yes. but specifically as an f-you to conventional fashion#Reyna no. Frank maybe. Hazel yes. Thalia maybe. Annabeth hmm. maybe#i think thats all the main casts. Alabaster? YES and i wanna see it.#anyways thank you for coming to my emo x scene ted talk and character evaluations in the tags
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bitches will still be crying over the high-cloud quintet at 2 am months later and never get over them
its me. im bitches.
#may this journey lead us starward <3#once again reiterating how much i loathe and despise this game with my very being and entire soul bc of how emotional it gets me#i could make a full on analysis rant post abt them and it still wouldnt be enough to console me#theyre just so tragic and doomed by the narrative coded and i hate it so much like wtf hsr devs what were u cooking with this ;w;;;#anyway guess who ended up watching that jingliu companion mission cutscene and blade narative part again bc of that reunion fic in my docs#that acts as a kind of sequel to the jing yuan long fic... looking over it again made me sob and then i rewatched a flash and then i reread#what i have for the soulmate!blade fic and then i died#sighs i hate them i love hate them i love them i want them to be happy but they cant be fully happy bc they wont all be together
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I was going to hate Gale the moment he was such an ass about Katniss wanting to bring Peeta and Haymitch when they ran away. Truly showed his colors right there.
#in middle school i had someone make me choose between her or all my other friends#was easy really. i chose the people not making me choose! they did not care i was friends with this other girl even if they didn't like her#add peeta and haymitch being put in danger when katniss left and imagine how much more i loathe gale#clearing the drafts
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I’m so done caring what u think!!!!!
#xoxochb#prue speaks ੈ✩‧₊˚#spoiler warning! idgaf if u hate me! hate me all u want! loathe me!#like I am not going to sit here n cry over some bitch beneath my coolness level#being mean isn’t cool spoiler warning!!
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Everything has been so pathetically genuinely terribly cringe to me lately, to the point where I don't get joy out of anything anymore, but I'm trying
I'm aware enough to know that this is a side effect of severe depression and stagnance and mundaneity and generally being sick of being alive and hating everything for it
#but I swear to God the older I get#The less I remember the majority of people being this embarrassing and inducing#And this is coming from someone that is horribly immature and eccentric themselves at least in terms of their joys in life#it might just be self projected self-loathing#but I haven't been able to enjoy looking at anyone stuff lately#It's all pointless self-indulgent and frankly just immature#Even posting my own thoughts is making me feel embarrassed because I know doubted the core at this point that I don't matter#and that even posting about how I don't matter is a state of immaturity#I feel like I've been an adult in America for too long and I've been using social media for too long and I'm just sick and bored of the way#that people and things are in general and the way that people think and see others and my placement in it especially#It's all become very embarrassing and stupid for me personally to observe and unfortunately be a part of whether I like it or not
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I'm so sorry, I'm kinda drunk and dropping another idea, do with it whatever ye will.
Yknow how in the beginning of the game, Sojiro tells Ren he won't take care of him when he gets sick?
Consider: he's not used to city germs/being that closely shoved against other people on the train. He DOES start to get sick around Kamoshida's Palace, powers through it, and then is SUPER sick just after it's over.
He plans on sucking it up and hiding it, but Futaba hears his hacking coughs over her bug even when he's upstairs, followed by wheezing, maybe even a little weeping. He's constantly in and out of the bathroom, and he's starting to run out of tissues.
Futaba nervously texts Sojiro that the kid they took in sounds awful. Sojiro is gruff at first and says he's not a baby, he can take care of himself. She responds by sending him the audio and suddenly Dad Instincts kick in
y/n
obviously it's a YES, our brainrots continue because early-game ren and sojiro dynamics break my heart every time how dare you get me so invested in this idea, this post got too long so it's going under a read more
listen listen look i love sojiro and the coffee family okay, but early-game?? sojiro could catch these hands
ren has already been though so much by the time he arrives in tokyo, to then be put into a dusty old attic like a spare part would absolutely fit in with ren's own perception of himself at that stage. it would be almost too easy for him to put his own health on the backburner kinda like he's already used to it
very used to not taking up space, 'not being a bother', and then sojiro really reinforces this message when ren first gets to leblanc- so when ren inevitably gets ill a month into his probation, it's already doomed for maladaption
tokyo would be such a breeding ground for sickness compared to the countryside, and ren just doesn't have the consitution to deal with it. the dusty attic and poor eating habits don't help matters, and then we have the stress of kamoshida and the metaverse?? ren is not having a Good Time™
at first it's something he thinks he can shrug off, and is adamant that ignoring it is the way to go. a cold, it's nothing, he can handle this alone, no need to bother anyone else with it.
inevitably, he gets worse, because that's what happens when you don't rest and let yourself recover. a tickly cough becomes a tightness in his chest, mild congestion shifts into an attack on his senses and blurriness- but maybe that's the dizziness. he's not really sleeping, either.
it's something that's becoming increasingly difficult to brush off and hide, he even relented to finally getting some medicine (nothing as strong as he needs by this point, that would eat too much into his limited funds, but some painkillers to take the edge off). once or twice he's tempted to stay off school, at morgana's insistence, or a too close call where he definitely blacked out for a minute, but then sojiro's voice will ring in his head 'i won't be the one looking after you if you get sick', 'your parents got rid of you for being a pain in the ass', and all his worst insecurities come rushing back and he's resolved to deal with it on his own
meanwhile, futaba's been making use of her hidden audio bugs- normally they're a comfort for her in the daytime, but since the new kid- ren- has been staying at the cafe (part-timer her ass, how gullible does sojiro think she is?!), she's been listening more frequently. when ren gets sick, she figures it out quickly.
time goes on, he's not getting better- he's actually getting worse- and futaba starts to wonder if she's the only one who knows
(there's something in his sharp contrasts- the quiet kid who shuffles through the cafe and takes sojiro's scolding, to the coughing kid who cries into the silence of night when he thinks there's nobody there to see it- that stabs through her numbness. it feels like a companion to her own ghost)
one night she swears the kid gets up to be sick, and there's hardly any sound heard from the attic all night. if nobody's gonna help ren, then she will (futaba used to like helping, once upon a time).
she texts sojiro the next day, when ren doesn't say anything again, and goes off to school with what she bets is a fake assurance on his face
and you're so right, sojiro dismisses her concern really easily, claims the kid can 'take care of himself' and he won't 'baby' the part-timer. insists ren needs to learn some disipline, then maybe he'll stay out of trouble
frustration wells in futaba- if she was less fixated on what was going on with ren, she'd register it's one of the first changes of mood she's had for months- and she responds with nothing but an audio clip, an attached explanation that this is just from the past few days- it's been going on for weeks, then she waits, and hears the distant sound of her compilation through one of the bugs, a hitched breath from sojiro, curse words under his breath-
for all his earlier postulating about not helping ren if he gets sick, sojiro is immeditely struck with a pang of concern- it sounded bad, and if futaba's words were anything to go by, this had been going on for a while. the kid's at school now (at school, being as ill as that and he was still going to class-), so sojiro will talk to him when he gets back. there's a chance he goes a bit too over the top, between the variation of medicines he purchases, supplies he grabbed from home- if you accused him for over-compensating after maybe being too harsh on the kid in the beginning, you'd be right
and you just know ren would be so resistent at first to help, or even just the offer of staying off school. in his sickness-induced fugue, ren's filter-less in rattling off how he can't stay off, what will the students and teachers think, and he has work that afternoon, and a test soon, and he doesn't want to get in the way-
sojiro's heart just shatters
this kid, whose been silently carring the weight of the world and has apparently been falling to pieces for weeks now and sojiro didn't even notice?
(a part of it reminds him too much of the other kid he's got at home, the countless ways he's already failed futaba, and now ren too? he feels useless)
sojiro focuses on what he can do, and that's making the kid rest. work will understand, school can wait, ren isn't an inconvenience, he guides the kid to bed, calls takemi immediately (who rushes over, despite the fact she's technically closed at this hour, and refuses to take any payment),
even still, there's this stilted awkwardness between them when the quiet pushes on too long- they hardly know each other, afterall. sojiro is still figuring out the 'caring for kids' thing, and ren isn't familiar with any kind of parental affection, so some of sojiro's care veers a bit too close to clinical or mechanic, and ren still struggles to communicate what kind of help he needs, but it's enough for now.
for now, sojiro is there. he's trying, and at least ren's getting some colour back on his skin. for now, ren's willing to take a few days off and have some medicine, but he's over-apologetic and definitely tries to make up for his sickness once he's healed. it's gonna take them both a while yet, but luckily there's always their guardian hacker, ready and able to call them out when needed (and maybe some day she'll be able to keep an eye on ren and sojiro in person)
#ask#also the idea of it being futaba who first realises going on?? developing hers and ren's bond before they even meet??#june i love your brain have i ever mentioned#such a gem even when it h u r t s (which is obviously only ever ALWAYS <3)#us : *sees angsty p5 game content* it's free real estate!#i want ren to have a HUG and REASSURANCE and also a bowl of soup#instead he gets dusty attic and milk-crate bed and instant noodles he packed for emergencies :c#persona 5#p5#persona 5 headcanons#ren amamiya#futaba sakura#sojiro sakura#oh also also!! imagine how sojiro might feel about his early-game behaviour by late-game/post-canon??#ohhh i bet he'd hate it and there'd be so much self-blame/loathing there#parent guilt and all that good stuff y'know#futaba? seeing herself in early-game ren? ren? seeing himself in palace-futaba? sorry they make me soft and emotional your honour#i love my coffee family but i love it more flavoured with all the issues they haven't yet worked through#once again THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE SO LONG
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